#sometimes i think about going back to streams

[totallynotslothhh]

ARE WE STILL FRIENDS?

pairing: joost klein x fem! reader

word count: 3,824

warning: angst, cursing, fighting, crying, lil fluff

author’s note: I wrote this, and it took me a long time to get back into the rhythm of writing. I hope you like it! Just know that I’m thinking of writing a second part—I can’t leave you with this bitter taste. I need your opinions!!! Tell me what I should improve, if it moved you, and if you’d like to see more. Requests are always open!!!

Big kiss!

(sorry if there are grammatical errors, I tried my best, English is not my first language!!!🙏)

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“I can’t take it anymore!” she shouted, exhausted, exasperated, misunderstood. Her hands were trembling, her skin was pale, her vocal cords stretched in a shiver of tension, cold sweat running down her forehead and over her frightened hands.

Tear… Joost saw them streaming down, carving paths along the face of the person, who stood before him, locked in a silent battle against him.

-person?-

-a simple person?-

No… she was the girl who had always given him a reason to keep going, in life, in music.

She was y/n. y/n, his beautiful girl, who for the past four years had taken care of him every single day, showered him with affection, held him close, had the courage to love him.

-four years?-

When did all that time pass? Weren’t we just eight years old a few memories ago?

Wasn’t it only yesterday that we were drawing our thoughts in the grains of sand? Running through the shimmering blades of grass and the wheat fields near our neighborhood? Weren’t we sitting in our elementary school desks, secretly holding hands? Wasn’t it just a few days ago that I was tending to the scrape on your right knee…the one you got when you fell off my bike. How stubborn you were, insisting so much on riding it, only to end up in a puddle of tears on the hard concrete.

-When did all these problems arrive?-

When the responsibilities came, Joost.

When you found yourself alone.

When you were diagnosed with an anxiety disorder.

When you were overwhelmed by the attention of almost a million people, without anyone preparing you for it.

-what about her?- she, who? -y/n-

y/n, the pure, dream-filled soul I fell in love with. The person who stands before me now, yelling at me about our problems. She has always looked at me with those big eyes of hers, comforting me, making me laugh, showing me that life isn’t just rejection and pain.

She’s the girl who has always taken my hand, who, despite her own suffering, has always worried about me. Always. I don’t have a single memory of a life without her in it.

You know what they say? Sometimes, it only takes one person who can save you from the human desert present around you.

Just one single person can be your warm, woolen blanket in the coldest storms. One and only one person can make you hold on to the hope of being loved.

“What the fuck happened to you?!”

Another scream scarred through the thick silence that had settled between us. Between these two heavy shells that could no longer find the perfect puzzle piece to fit together and be able to complete their picture.

“Huh? will you explain it to me joost? stop looking at me like that and answer me! for once fucking time answer me!" The heavy step she took toward me made me hold my breath.

I was in my pajamas, but I felt anything but comfortable. It was as if the white tank top I was used to wearing was too tight for the emotions my chest held trapped; as if the soft red checkered pants were too loose to let me run if there was a need to run after the woman who had always been mine.

-Why am I acting like this?-

Because you’re afraid.

-Afraid of her?-

Afraid of being alone again. Afraid of facing that human desert around you on your own. Afraid of taking off the warm, woolen blanket just because it’s starting to itch. Afraid of feeling that fragile thread of hope snap in half, right as you’re trying to stay still so it won’t break.

-It’s my fault.- Mine? Is it my fault? Is it my fault that she is leaving me now?

when and how did I make her feels bad like this? what happened, wha-

“If you have nothing to say, I can leave.” Her voice echoed in my skull, finally pulling me out of the flood of thoughts pressing on my mind.

I had stood looking at her for minutes…long, sluggish seconds chiming in the clock of our house.

Looking at her. Looking at those eyes full of anger and disappointment. Looking at the tense expression on her face, her dry, parted lips, her unsteady breathing, the way her hands moved as she spoke. At how my oversized T-shirt hung off her frame, how my gray shorts looked even bigger on her.

Looking at her maybe for the last time in my life.

“Wait, please…” I said, my voice shakier than I had expected, it came out as a pained whisper. A tiredness repressed for months, months filled with arguments and hidden frustrations, all swallowed down just to keep from breaking.

I followed her with my eyes, then with my body: my anxious steps almost run after her, my tattooed hand reaching up to her wrist to make her stop.

She was going to our bedroom to get her belongings: to take her shirts, her pants, her perfume from the nightstand, her glasses, her bracelets, her rings. To erase her presence from that room that had never been cold, not with her essence, her presence, her personality.

“Oh, so now you speak!” she said, turning around with a bitter laugh that wished it could stay trapped in the folds of her throat, if only the situation had been different.

The feeling she felt as soon as joost's grip became firmer and more urgent was one of total loss.

Lost. That’s how she felt, realizing that the same touch that had always calmed her down from any panic attack taking over her body at three o'clock in the morning, was now holding onto her just to check if, despite the coldness, there was still a layer left for him to reach.

Him, who had always been her refuge in the darkest moments, who had always been the source of inspiration for her art, who had always been a constant presence in her life.

“I can’t lose you. You can’t leave like this.”

The plea in his hoarse voice was almost veiled, but it reached her stomach like a stab. Seeing his eyes fill with those same bitter, knowing tears stirred something deep inside her, something painful, something different.

-That is guilt.-

Yes, that is guilt. I couldn’t make things work between us. I couldn’t understand him.

My body moved almost on his own, making him lose the grip he had on my wrist. The guilt, the regrets, the anger toward him… all of it blurred together.

“I can’t keep going like this. It’s always the same story. We fight over stupid things and end up acting like children. Love isn’t enough to make a relationship work.”

A year ago, the problems between them had begun. A year in which their language had become completely different, incomprehensible to each other.

She felt sidelined, in the background, like she no longer truly mattered in Joost’s life. The lack of attention weighed on her chest like a boulder, feeding her insecurities, letting thoughts silently seep into her mind.

He felt overwhelmed, drowned by a new wave of popularity he didn’t know how to handle, burdened by a new responsibility as an artist. He felt like he had failed at that damned festival he had always held close to his heart, only to watch it slip through his fingers overnight. During that time, he couldn’t even be present and clear for himself, let alone for his girlfriend.

Silence and misunderstandings were the only thing left between them.

The two had met as children, at a playground, to be exact.

y/n was four years old, and Joost almost five. He was the one who saw her first, from a distance, while holding a soccer ball under his arm. She was alone on the swing, murmuring something to herself: a little song, one of those probably addictive cartoon theme songs.

-Why is that girl alone?- was the first thought that crept into joost's mind. And when he walked closer to the small, delicate figure of y/n, she looked at him with a curious gaze. There was something about her that in his eyes seemed curious. He wanted to know why she was alone, why she seemed like a lonely figure.

A lonely figure who, as soon as she saw that boy with messy, long, golden-blond hair, froze completely, thinking what such a seemingly sociable child wanted from her. But deep, conscious thoughts and complex psychology aren’t things that find a home in the minds of children.

It didn’t take long for them to become friends.

And so from being a loner, the now smiling figure of y/n had found a friend: a really fun friend in her eyes. A friend with whom to make up stories, to pretend they were warriors and end up rolling around on the grass until one of them got bored.

A pure, innocent friendship, typical of children, especially the most empathetic ones.

After some time, their families became friends too. They ended up in the same elementary school and discovered that they even lived quite close to each other, in the same neighborhood in a northern province of the Netherlands.

Needless to say, they spent their adolescence together as well: Time passed, words brought them closer, shared experiences even more. They watched their bodies change, their goals take shape and become clearer, their minds expand to new understandings about life, the world, human relationships. They had always been each other's reference point, especially in their worst times.

It was as if in the chaos of adolescence, despite everything, there was always one certainty. Namely their friendship.

y/n had a passion for art, for painting, and she dreamed of following that path into adulthood. Joost was her inspiration. He supported her, always softening her insecurities with his words.“Will you stop discrediting yourself so much? You know that’s not true. You know you’re good enough, you’re just looking for a way to sabotage yourself.” He would say it gently, brushing away the tears that had inevitably rolled down her rosy cheeks as she opened up to him on any given afternoon of a hot August, on the terrace of her house; the place they often found themselves throughout their teenage years.

y/n realized she felt something more at the age of twenty-two, when his words, his gestures, his touches, and his glances started giving her that wonderfully sickening sensation of butterflies in her stomach.

His lips, his mustache, his bright blue eyes, and his disastrously discolored hair were all she could think about during the day.

Meeting him had become the moment she looked forward to the most. Being with him was all she wanted to do and then, she would have spent entire hours wrapped in his arms, listening to him talk about new songs and the projects that excited him.

“What’s wrong? You seem off.” His curious voice, tinged with a hint of concern, echoed through y/n’s cozy room.

Joost wasn’t stupid, he could easily notice if something was not going right and it had been a while since he perceived his best friend to be increasingly distant and mentally distracted.

When their eyes met, a shiver ran down her spine. She quickly looked away, forcing herself to focus on the sketch she needed to finish for a commissioned piece on social media.

“I’m fine,” she said, did not expect her voice to come out in such an insecure way, so much so that she instinctively bit her lower lip.

“Bullshit. You know you can’t hide anything from me,” he pressed on, now with his gaze focused solely on the crumpled figure of y/n on top of the swivel desk chair.

Meanwhile, he was sprawled comfortably on her bed, his laptop open in front of him: not so much to work on anything specific, but more to search for inspiration or, more realistically, to dick around as he used to do on days like that, spent lazily stretched out on her bed.

“I’m fine, just a little tired,” she sighed, keeping her eyes locked on the tip of the digital pen she was using.

Joost thought she looked so beautiful, especially when she was drawing:

He loved watching her get lost in her work. He adored the way she sometimes let the tip of her tongue peek out between her lips while concentrating. He found it impossibly cute when strands of her hair fell over her face, forcing her to tuck them behind her ears.

If only he could have, he would have kissed her.

He would cup her face in his hands, those soft cheeks he always loved to pinch and kiss. He would feel their breath mix, the warmth of her skin against his, her fingers running through his hair.

He would have loved to let her know he desired her, but he was too afraid to destroy their friendship.

“Wanna play Mario Kart?” he suggested after spending a few moments trying to think of a way to cheer her up and help her relax: she was tired, and he was bored, there was no better solution than video games.

His proposal made her chuckle. She spun her chair around first to face him, then toward the TV in her room, positioned right in front of the bed. “One game, then I’ll get back to work,” she answered, giving in to those pleading eyes of his, the ones she could never say no to.

After all, what could go wrong?

She needed a break after almost three hours of concentration.

But that game of Mario Kart wasn’t just a simple game, a quick distraction from work. It held within it their first kiss, which happened completely spontaneously.

y/n had come second to all the tracks and at the end of the game, with a sigh, she went back with her back, lying down on the bed and abandoning the controller between them.

“I’m not playing with you anymore, you always cheat,” she mumbled in a sulky grumble, which only made Joost laugh as he teased her.

“Me? Cheat? Or maybe you just don’t know how to play?” he shot back provocatively, turning his head toward her lying figure beside him. He was still sitting with his legs spread out, the second controller resting in his hands.

She rolled her eyes with a chuckle and stuck her tongue out at him. It was hard to stay mad at him, even in a playful way.

His presence had become so comforting, so deeply woven into her life, that the little lovestruck smile on her face appeared almost instinctively.

It was a feeling that almost suffocated her.

As her thoughts spiraled, she didn’t realize how long their gazes had remained locked, just a few seconds too many.

Joost’s rough palm barely hesitated before reaching her flushed, soft cheek. He just watched her, his body now leaning in ever so slightly.

“I can’t stay mad at you,” she whispered, her voice barely audible, without breaking the intense eye contact that made her heartbeat race.

It was a moment almost cut out of real time, it was as if their thoughts had merged.

-What if I can’t resist? I’d ruin our lifelong friendship, and everything would crumble under a wrong crush: wrong timing, wrong person-

in fact, he didn’t waste another second, he leaned in, pressing their lips together, finally tasting those soft petals that framed a smile so genuine that he would have painted it if only he had the skill.

A held breath. Closed eyes. The fear of having ruined something so vast and so fragile at the same time, all contained within that fleeting instant.

The Mario Kart theme played in the background, blending with the quiet sounds of their lips seeking each other again, once the initial hesitation and nervousness had faded.

After what felt like centuries, y/n pulled back slightly, her eyes opening immediately to search for answers to the questions swirling in her mind. She looked into his.

“Was this what’s been on your mind?” he asked, the only words that managed to leave his lips, still just inches from hers, now flushed and warm.

“Maybe,” she whispered, threading her fingers through his short, messy hair, gently gripping it. And when she caught the faintest hint of a smile on his face, she couldn’t help but smile, too.

A smile now vanished from the creases of her face, giving way to a disappointed and worried expression.

“I’m sorry, I know I’ve been absent lately-”

“Lately, Joost? Lately? It’s been a year since you touched me the way you used to, since your career became the only thing you see, since you stopped making me feel loved” Harsh, impulsive, trembling words spilled uncontrollably from y/n’s lips, the same lips that only ever found peace when they met their twin. Her body was tense, a bundle of nerves, brows furrowed in frustration.

“I’m sorry… y/n, what do you want me to do? Huh? Tell me! Tell me how I’m supposed to handle my career!” His voice rose in provocation, mixing with the sight of tears welling up in his eyes.

He was frustrated. She could feel it.

His hands clenched suddenly, his body pulling slightly away from hers, so different from just moments ago.

He couldn’t explain himself. He couldn’t find the right words. “Me!? If you don’t know how to handle your life, don’t ruin mine!” Her voice was even louder, sharp words cutting through the air, sharp enough to make tears fall from her own eyes.

Words so bitter they hurt her, too.

Their anger was pushing them toward a breaking point, a collision that would end in tragedy if neither of them took a step back.

“Ruin?” The whisper that left Joost’s lips was shattered, almost in disbelief.

-Maybe it was true.-

-Maybe this really was the last time he’d see her.-

“Do you really think I ruined your life?” He asked it with fear. Fear that the answer might be yes.

His eyes looked at her body language, and he saw her hand immediately wipe away more tears, the ones betraying just how much y/n’s strength was crumbling into a thousand pieces.

-Do you really think that?-

“You’re ruining it. The more time passes, the more I feel like we don’t fit together anymore… I-I have my art to focus on, and you have yours… Our worlds don’t intertwine the way they used to. Ever since you started working on that damn album, I feel like I’ve been pushed aside!” She crossed her arms, her voice weighted with the same frustration they had been throwing back and forth like a ball.

His chest tightened. He felt the need to defend himself.

“I never put you aside! And you know that! Don’t accuse me of things that aren’t true!”

The desperation in his voice was shifting, turning into anger.

Being accused like this? His ego was stepping in, replacing the guilt, trying to protect him from falling into a poisonous spiral he subconsciously knew would be dangerous.

It was a defense mechanism they both knew too well.

“I’m just telling you how I feel, but you’re so caught up in yourself that you refuse to accept it.” y/n muttered, rubbing rapidly the back of her hand against her cheeks, as if wiping the tears away would also erase the pain swelling in her chest.

Their bodies were so close, yet their minds had never felt so far apart.

“I’ve always put you first. You’re the one who never tells me how you feel, and then you drop something like this on me.” Joost stood in front of her, breathing hard.

She shrugged, then suddenly turned away, walking through the hallway of their shared home, heading for the bedroom.

“Oh yeah? So you’re just gonna leave!?”

He called after her, immediately following, feeling a new wave of fear wash over him, one that reminded him of how he had felt at the start of this fight. y/n’s movements were frantic as she grabbed the suitcase from beside the wardrobe.

She didn’t hesitate.

She unzipped it and started shoving in clothes, grabbing at random in the chaos of the moment. Joost stood frozen in the doorway, watching his girlfriend.

That suitcase.

The same one that had traveled the world with them.

The same one that had listened to their late-night conversations before every trip.

“Don’t tell me you’re going to fill the whole suitcase.” Joost’s voice, incredulous yet fond, reached her ears just as she was busy deciding between two pieces of clothing. She turned around with a smile, shrugging, knowing full well that he already knew the answer. “Babe…” He let out a small chuckle, stepping closer and finding her soft waist with his hands, his fingers brushing against the thin fabric of her shorts. “Come on, Joost, you know I’m indecisive. Why do you even care?” She placed her hands on his shoulders, locking eyes with his before closing them again, laughing softly as his lips and mustache brushed against her neck, tickling her skin. “I don’t care,” he murmured, warm voice against her throat, “but I already know you’re going to end up wearing the same things as always and then complain that you don’t have enough space for all the souvenirs you’ll want to bring home.” His lips left a trail of damp kisses along the curve of her neck. A sigh slipped past her lips. “You’re such a buzzkill,” she teased, threading her fingers through his messy blond mullet, tugging playfully.

-Is this really how it’s going to end?-

The tightness in Joost’s chest grew unbearable at the memory of their last trip. He couldn’t hold it in anymore.

“y/n…” His voice wavered, his face tensed, breath uneven.

“y/n, please…” he murmured, his words cracking under the weight of everything unsaid.

“Are we still friends, Joost?”

-Are we still friends?-

The question hung in the air, cutting through the cold stillness of the room, lit only by the soft glow filtering through the window.

She turned to face him, finding him in a state beyond wrecked. Her fingers clutched the fabric of one of her shirts, the one she had been about to toss into her suitcase.

“Are we still those teenagers who couldn’t go a day without each other? Are we still those kids who looked for reassurance in each other’s eyes over the smallest things?” Her voice softened: empty of hope but still full of feeling.

Joost’s dulled gaze remained fixed on the floor. He no longer cared to wipe away the regret streaking down his cheeks.

“Maybe we should break up for now,” she said, finality lacing every syllable.

“We lost ourselves trying to find each other.”

And with that, the final blow was struck.

Neither of them had stepped back.

And confusion had won.

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[abbzloves]

Loving you is harder then it seems

Pairing: Rafayel x mc

Cw: angst, grief, anger, argument, hurt and comfort, happy ending I swear, more???, please tell me if I missed anything

Note: My feelings for Rafayel are… complicated. I think he’s incredibly well written and complex, but sometimes, he rubs me wrong way. I wanted to write this to try to sift through my feelings about him. It kind of helped, I don’t know if it’s good or not. Please enjoy!

Please don’t eat me alive Rafayel girlies! I have so much respect for you! If I wrote him wrong, please let me know as well!

————

You couldn’t put your finger on it for the longest time, until it finally hit you. Whenever you had noticed those rare moments of Rafayel letting his guard drop, his face twisted into melancholy. He exuded it. The yearning for something lost, the grief that filled his blood stream, his anger so clearly displayed in his paintings.

In those quiet moments, you could feel it vibrating off of him. Whenever he looked out into the sea, he ached for it. You could always feel it’s sway on him, the ocean singing it’s siren song, trying to summon him back. To embrace him like a mother would, to keep him in it’s clutches. Some days, you felt like he was closer to giving in then others. It felt like a constant struggle for him.

On those days, those incredibly distant days that caused your heart to ache and your skin to itch with the need to hold onto him, you felt such immense fear. It was suffocating, really. You needed him just as much as he needed the sea, and that was terrifying as well. So, you learned to give him distance on those days. For both your health and his. You would distract yourself, with work, with friends, with your home, with your plushies. Anything that could stop you from running back to him, and holding onto him for forever.

You thought he would appreciate it.

That was until, he showed up at your front door, anger radiating off of his frame. And accusations he was ready to let fly. You had tried to defuse the situation, tried to understand him and communicate but it escalated. It was farther out of your control than any of his moods had ever been, and it stirred that fear in you. That anger within you. It made you frustrated, and you felt like you were on the verge of tears.

“You promised you would never leave me.” His gaze is heavy, accusatory and desperate.

“But that doesn’t mean you won’t leave me.” You breathed, your voice thick and throat tight. You could feel your tears building at the corner of your eyes.

He paused, then a confused look graced his face. You understood his fear more then was healthy, and that seemed to dawn on him.

“Cutie…” he breathed walking closer to you, but you backed up. Trying to maintain some distance because you would fall apart if he touched you. Your resolve would crumble like a sand castle does to the waves, you would be swept away and be in his domain.

“No, Rafayel. I never know what’s going on in your head. I try so hard, but you never tell me.” You breathed, anger and hurt in your voice.

“I want you to be honest with me, do you love me,” you gestured towards yourself, “or do you love the memories of me. I don’t know who I was, I don’t remember. It feels like you love the past me, the one in your previous life.”

“I love you, every version of you! I waited for you for 800 years! I gave up Lemuria for you!” He returned passionately, ready to refuse such a ridiculous claim.

“I never asked you to!” You yell, you start pacing. Everything felt so, overwhelming. “That’s the thing! I don’t remember, I don’t remember being your precious bride, I don’t remember betraying you, I don’t remember loving you then! I only know loving you now!” You felt your anger boiling and the tears started coming.

“I want you to love me now, Rafayel. I don’t want you to love me just because you loved me then, I want you to love me because you loved me now. I want you to choose this version of me instead of loving the memory! I’m sorry I don’t remember! I’m sorry I made you wait 800 years! I’m sorry you lost Lemuria! I’m sorry!” You ran your hands through your hair, and he stood there. Frozen and dumbfounded, like he didn’t understand where any of this was coming from. But your fear was a constant undercurrent in all of your words.

“You will never understand how sorry I am. Or how guilty I feel. But I don’t remember any of that. I just…” you trailed off, you felt so many emotions overwhelming you. “I just want to love you, and know that you loved me. I’m so afraid.” You looked at him, and his face was awash with an indescribable expression. You had never seen it on his face before.

He walked towards you again, having stopped previously. He got so close, and you couldn’t help but flinch. He watched that too, with the same expression. His eyes soft, the cotton candy colouring feeling comforting. He reached up and cupped you left cheek, and his thumb wiped away a stray tear. You tried to hold strong for a moment, but let yourself lean into his warmth. More tears fell, a combination of frustration, fear, longing, sadness, and love.

He wrapped his other arm around your shoulders and let you cry into his chest. Your head cradled and held tightly. You let the waves crash over you, and you sobbed. He made some cooing sounds at you, and rocked you back and forth softly. You felt a few tears hit the top of your head and slide down your hair. You wrapped you arms around him and rubbed his back. You stood together, crying. You don’t know for how long, but when your tears finally stopped and his shirt was properly soaked, you tried to pull away. But his arms tightened around you, unwilling to let you leave.

“Rafayel…” you whispered to him. You heard a sniffle come from him, but he finally let you pull back enough to see his face. Red rimmed pink and blue eyes looked down at you. He must have cried as much as you. You saw no hint of his usual sarcastic façade, only the real and raw. The desperation, the insecurity, the loneliness were there reflected on his entire face. But there was something else, fear and guilt. Your stomach sunk like a pebble tossed into the ocean.

He caressed your cheek and brought his lips to your forehead, he kissed gently and stayed for longer then he should have. But he looked more composed when he pulled away. “My love…” he trailed off.

“I owe you an apology. You did nothing wrong, this, all of this, was of my own making. I’m the one that caused all of it, and I am the one responsible for my everything. You are not to blame in any of this, got it?” His voice was firm, still with his slightly breathy element. It was earnest and strong and filled with not even a trace of resentment. The type that you feared he felt towards you.

You nodded then he continued.

“I love you. I choose you. Because no matter what version of you, you are the woman that I love. My heart burns for you. My lungs ache for you. Without you, I am reduced to little but a beautiful and talented artist,” he added some humour to try to lighten the mood, you giggled a little bit and he gave you a small smile then continued with what he was saying. “Even if I am reduced to that, I will have lost my will. I have many things I still need to tell you, so many things I want to share. My grief and anger can only take me so far, because without you, I will fall apart. You are the oxygen to my flame, I would only burn so long without snuffing out.” He breathed his words were genuine, you felt it in your core.

“You have to promise to be honest with me.” You implored, unwilling to deal with deciet and deception again.

“I will do everything within my power to be truthful.”

“No, I want a straight forward promise. I will not let you slip your way out of this fishie.” He chuckled, clearly caught.

“I promise, I will be honest with you.”

“And?”

“I will be forth coming,”

“And?”

“I will not hide things from you.”

“And?”

“I love you?”

You shook your head at him, and pulled him down into a kiss. He went, voluntarily. The moment your lips laid on each others, he consumed you hungrily, like a moth to a flame. You were stuck together like glue, not willing to leave each other’s embrace. The kiss was passionate, and sensual, and sloppy. The make up was always the best part.

You knew you both had a long way to go, issues to fix, communication to get better at, and things to mediate. But in this moment, everything felt better. You fear felt lessened, you felt relieved for the first time in a long time. And he did too,

[muffinrecord]

I know you've been getting lots of asks, and I know it's only been a couple of days, but what are some little improvements you think have been made in Exedra so far?

The first one isn't an improvement, just my favorite thing: being able to play the game and understand it and look at the translations without going onto youtube. I have an iphone so I was never able to use the fan translation patch there; I had to use it on an emulator. There's something about actually playing on the phone though that made me feel a lot more connected to it, so being able to play again and have that direct experience made me really emotional.

Okay actual improvements:

Your portraits (memoria) and girls (kioku) auto upgrade when you get dupes. I don't think the memoria auto-upgrading in magireco would have worked because it would be better sometimes to have a bunch of memos spread out as single copies over one copy (or a half ascended copy), but it works out great here. No forgetting or spending a lot of time going back and ascending characters/portraits.

Speaking of portraits, I like that they're tied to gameplay and not the gacha. You don't need to worry about bad luck in not getting some of the best memoria in the game; just if you can defeat a boss or an event.

I like that there is a gallery section devoted to showing CG portrait art, witch labyrinths, and music.

There is a "streamer" mode for the game and you can also choose to play licensed music or not. This will be great for recording and uploading videos to youtube (or streams in general).

Main Story, Battler, and Nightmare modes do not cost action points! You can play as much as you like.

I really like that some events will be permanent (and that so far the two presented have been voiced!). I think this is great, especially for newer players down the line who don't want to miss out on materials or portraits. I'm not sure how likely it'd be, but it would be super cool if, after a year, events would come back permanently and just be there. That way folks don't miss out on story content either!

A huge quality of life improvement is that you can use the single-use keys as a tenpull. It doesn't give the guaranteed 4* nature of it, but it's still great and I wish Magia Record could have done that.

Tanking (and healers in general) is MUCH improved. Fuck dude! I can't believe that Magireco went out with tanks/defense who couldn't actually draw aggro to themselves without using a damn memoria! NOT ONLY THAT BUT THEIR CONNECTS WOULD DRAW AGGRO AWAY FROM THEM ONTO OTHER UNITS. HOW DOES THAT MAKE SENSE?? And yes, tanks could use Provoke/Taunt on their magia/doppel, but you first need to hit that magia/doppel, and tanks in MR got less MP unless they were hit... which is going to be hard when you don't have a native passive way of generating aggro.

Not only that, but tanks felt straight up useless if they weren't fully slotted. You needed at least three slots to make sure you had an on-demand aggro memoria and some passives to keep you from dying.

BUT EVEN THEN. Tanks just... Why use them when you can kill the enemy? The best offense is a good defense and yeah that applied to magireco.

But finally, tanks and healers feel like they are actually worth a damn. It's possible this will change later in the game (LET'S HOPE NOT) but at the moment you do need some sort of sustain. And there are a ton of options! You can use tanks-- Kirika, Kokoro, Sana. You can use healers-- Yuma, Leila, (unsure of who else if any). And even some of the debuffers count! Felicia in Magidora for example can stun the enemy, protecting your team.

Making defense have shields apply to the team is great, and having the strength of those shields being tied to the unit's DEF stats is also great. I think they also did a good job making the units have their own strengths and weaknesses. Sana has stronger shields than Kirika, but Kirika's last for three turns and Sana's last for two. Kirika's shields also increase the rate of mp you gain when you're hit (meaning that in some cases, you actually want your units to take attacks) while Sana gives buffs to her team. I'm not as familiar with Kokoro because I use Kirika all the time, but I've heard she's viable and helpful. And that's the thing-- all three units have slightly different niches but you hopefully don't feel punished for using one over the other.

Those are my thoughts thus far on improvements!

[firstkanaphans]

I saw your posts about Save, First and Boom so I wanted to drop a bit of gossip (idk if you already know this but why not):

Boom and Save were both in a friend group with G and another member called Tar (plus others that came and went, First used to live stream with them too). They were popular on social media (they still have a bunch of thai and japanese fans actually) and their biggest pull was the SaveG ship. A lot of people think it was just fanservice but some think they actually dated because they just stopped posting together one day out of the blue and wiped everything and started hanging out separately with their friends sometime in 2024 (it was giving very much a real break up of sorts).

People were even questioning if they broke up for Save’s career because he joined GMMTV after but that seems like a stretch to me.

Just today, G was actually painting something with the meaning of “strangers to friends, friends to lovers and back to strangers again” on his livestream which could or couldn’t have anything to do with it too.

Anyways the real tea is that G dated (not so secretly) the guy that Ohm Tpk was pretty recently “openly” dating (probably still dating but keeping it dl because of MarkOhm). G was dating him for at least a couple of years (while SaveG was actively being shipped lol), they ended around late 2022 and Ohm started lovestagramming with the guy from beginning of 2023.

It’s funny how interconnected everyone somehow is (most queer circles tend to be but it’s funny seeing things play out with actors). Also is it just me or do all these thai gay bl actors only date fellow rich ass men? Because G’s ex and Ohm’s current bf is swimming in money too and went to really good schools. I actually have a lot to say about that (in relation to the bl industry but I’ll save it for another day).

I didn’t even dig to know this btw, I’ve just been following Boom for awhile and he’s really close with G and Save (well this one is a bit uncertain because they haven’t been hanging out much on social media but he said he is when asked by Inn so I think they’re still close).

Oooh, thank you for the tea, Anon. I appreciate y'all filling me in on things like this because although I knew Boom was close with G, that was pretty much the extent of my knowledge. I'm particularly interested in your comment about Save and G having potentially dated because when it was announced that Save had joined GMMTV, this video began circulating and it had my spidey senses tingling.

(via)

Like is that not the strangest way to say you aren't dating your bestie? "We're friends in the same way you two are friends." And now I find out that the two of them may not have been just friends at all 👀 *deep breath* I'm fine. This is fine.

But yes, the Thai entertainment industry is quite incestuous if you really start paying attention and I don't know how much of that is because they all work in the same field and how much of that is just famous people convincing the higher ups to hire their friends.

As for Ohm and G having dated the same rich ass man, good for them! For some reason I thought Ohm had broken up with that guy, but I don't follow him nearly close enough to be sure about that. I thought he made a post a few months back about going through a break-up? But like you said, that could have just been to clear the way for MarkOhm.

Thank you again for the info. I shall dwell on that video until it drives me crazy 🫡

[skzthelomlhehe]

Im tired. Im lonely. I feel sick. I want to sleep but I can't sleep. Its 3:30 AM. I just want someone to love me and hug me and cuddle me and tell me the world is a fucked up shitty place and just say mean things to the world because the world is mean to me. But I don't have that now, do I? So! A quick self-indulgent seungmin fic because I want comfort and I wanna talk shit about the world. Because people are shit. Except Stray Kids. And real STAYs. Hopefully I'll sleep after this.

"Can you talk shit about the world with me?"

Kim Seungmin x Reader (might not be gender neutral cuz, again, this is a self comfort fic sorta thing so feminine pronouns might be used.)

Warning: harsh words. Lots of harsh words. Being sick.

Masterlist Tags: @bluesungology @capricorn-girl0112 @daysofskz-ateez @finntastic325 @estella-novella @neginktn

Fucked up days. Fucked up weeks. Fucked up months. Fucked fucked fucked. That is ALL you can think about. Everything is going wrong. You're sick, bedridden. And you HATE being bedridden. Its the worst! The constant headaches, the runny and stuffed nose, the coughing, the blocked ears from the cold, the fever. Everything is fucked.

Sometimes you feel hot, sometimes you feel cold. "Just fucking choose, you bitch of a body!!" You curse yourself, genuinely wanting to cry.

Its 3:35 AM. You feel sick and tired, unable to sleep. The nightmares don't help. The constant feeling of loneliness don't help. You want to call for someone, but who in their right minds would just pop up at almost 4 in the fucking morning?? And even if they do, you'll just feel like a burden.

But not to him. Kim Seungmin. Your best friend. Ruthless with his words, kind with his actions. You called him and he picked up by the fourth and a half ring. "Y/N..? What's wrong..?" He asked in a groggy tone, evident that he was sleeping.

Just hearing his voice was enough. Enough to start the waterworks. "S-seungmin..." You sniffled, tears streaming down your burning cheeks.

You heard shuffling noises, probably seungmin sitting up. "Hey hey, are you crying?? The hell? What's wrong??", he asked warily. God, you loved him so much.

"I can't do this shit anymore, min..." You choked, wiping away your tears only for fresh ones to spill out. "World is so shit!! I just wanna cuddle and talk shit about the world the way it's always so shit with me." You cried, letting yourself breakdown.

"uhhh fuck, okay. Gimme a few, I'll be right there." Seungmin said, and by the sound, it seemed he was far from his phone. The call dropped abruptly and you just hugged your knees and sobbed. You've held on for too long.

A while of sobbing later, you suddenly heard your doorbell ring. Was it...? It... It couldn't be, right? There's no way.

You dragged yourself out of bed and out of your room. You were panting from the walk from your bed to the door, the fever making you lethargic.

And just when you opened the door, Seungmin walked in, holding a bag of meds, some light snacks, warm porridge and green tea from the convenience store.

"holy fuck, you look like you're dying!" Despite his attempts to maintaining his usual tone, his concern and worry made its way through. He held your face gently, rubbing his thumbs on your cheeks soothingly. "And you're burning up!"

He led you to the dining table and placed the bowl of porridge and green tea in front of you, "eat." He ordered. You were about to whine but quickly decided otherwise when you saw his glare.

You swallowed before reluctantly taking a spoonful of porridge and taking a bite. Just as you took the bite, you felt a pat on your back. Seungmin stroked your back soothingly.

The warmth of both the porridge and his soothing gesture just made you break out into tears. You started ugly crying, snot and everything. But you didn't care. Because it was just Seungmin. He might seem like he'll make fun of you, but he knows you're vulnerable. And he doesn't make fun of someone's vulnerability.

Maybe when you feel better enough to joke about it, he will. But for now, all he wants to do is give you some love and comfort. He gave you the medicines and took you to your room, laying down beside you.

"you'll catch a cold from me..." "Then I'll make you take care of me."

He pulled the blanket over the two of you, holding you close to his chest. You melted in his arms, the medicine starting to soothe you just a little.

"can you talk shit about the world with me?"

"the world is fucked." Seungmin answered, his eyes closed. "Why don't you talk shit instead? I'll listen. Im sure you've got a lot of shit to say."

You nodded slowly, sniffling one last time until the dam that held everything together finally broke.

"it's shit. Its so fucking shit. The world is a god damn whore. Like, what the fuck do you mean I have to be sick and then get an earful from people cuz 'im alwags laying around'??? Bitch, do you even hear yourself?! Your pathetic ass can't even spell lethargic and you're telling me?!"

The rant started, and you started going on and on and on about it. Seungmin listened, nodding and throwing in a few insults himself to let you know that he was still there, listening. All while he stroked your head gently and pat your back softly.

The meds started taking effect and you started feeling drowsy. And soon, before you even knew it, you had fallen asleep in the middle of your rant.

Seungmin pulled away just enough to look at you, gazing fondly at your sleeping form. He might be a menace, but he is a loving menace.

He pressed a tender kiss to the top of your head and held you close, close enough to comfort you but also let you breathe.

"good night, puppy."

Im done crying, gonna go sleep now *sob sob* and I finished this in 25 minutes, WOOHOOOOO

[rabbitofharmony]

.

[certainlyathrill]

they were boys together !!!

[asexualjedi]

Still so iconic of Matt fraction to start his run like anyways off screen Clint and Kate who have met a few times before this run have become besties and are fundamentally now intertwined characters. Like and that’s just canon now. I think more comic writers should be willing to kinda just decide a new status quo like that especially with characters that have been under utilized

[shannonsketches]

something something foils moving in opposite directions Goku's always happy to seek and fight stronger opponents because he spent most of his life being the strongest guy in the room and Vegeta wants to be the strongest/is always exhausted to find stronger opponents because he spent most of his life having to navigate his survival around the whims of the strongest guy in the universe room and so Goku has a foundation of safety and stability and so spends his time craving challenge and adventure and Vegeta has a foundation of challenge and adventure and spends his time craving safety and stability and the overlaid section of their venn diagram is that the only way they know how acquire and maintain those things is through battle

[liebgirl]

ok. this spring. we are getting back into movies. movies are going to be so back this spring. real. going to watch a movie right now even. and i might even finish it

[kellystar321]

.

[miunala]

my dad "you gotta learn how to stop thinking ahead" WHAT DO YOU THINK IVE BEEN DOING THESE PAST 2 YEARS IN THERAPY??????

[aro-tarot]

I'm going to either work on a banner or "get to know Emory" slides now, but I made an avatar for him to use. My goal is to have everything ready Tuesday since I want to have his debut be before Thursday.

[s0dium]

𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐍 𝐒𝐄𝐗

A/n: Almost kinktober guys ;) Synopsis: How many rounds can JJK men go for? Characters: Gojo Satoru, Toji Fushiguro, Geto Suguru, Choso, Sukuna Ryomen Warnings: Doggy, mating press, multiple orgasms, sub space, overstimulation, dub-con, photo taking, cock warming, nipple sucking, finger sucking, breeding, unprotected sex, virgin!Choso, mentions of masturbation, pussy drunk men

☆ Gojo Satoru: 3-4

The longest three rounds of your life

You think he can stop just cumming in you once? Hell no. The best part about sex is when he can see his cum oozing out of you with each push.

Also loves overstimulating himself until he is a groaning mess.

Unfortunately for you, Gojo Satoru is NOT a one-minute man.

"Awe come on don't go zoning out on me now~"

Gojo's voice is teasing, a low, melodic coo that slides into your ears as you struggle to focus. His grin is wide, almost predatory, his blue eyes twinkling with amusement as he leans in closer. You’re hazy, breathless, your mind clouded with pleasure, barely able to register the words.

"S'cant... feel too...” You mumbled and thrashed against Gojo's hold, forcing him to pin your wrists together above your head while he pistoned into you with brute force. Sure it's only the second round for him but for you, he's brought you over the edge more than your poor poor body can handle.

Your body feels completely spent, trembling with overstimulation as your legs, sore from the constant tightening and untightening, hang limp in Gojo's grip. He’s folded you in half, his hands pressing your legs against your chest, locking you in place with ease. The room feels heavy, a warm haze clouding your thoughts as you realize you’ve been drooling, too lost in the overwhelming pleasure to even care.

“Feel fucking amazing Jesus Christ.” Gojo manages to groan out between pants followed by a string of curses. Every time he leaves the clutch of your cunny, his cock is coated in a thick shiny sheen of creaminess, and when he snaps his hips back in, it settles right at the base of him, painting your puffy pussy lips as well. Gojo effortlessly lifts one of your legs over his shoulder, sinking even deeper into you with each forceful thrust. The new angle, paired with the relentless pace of his hips snapping against yours, sends you spiraling dangerously close to the edge. Your grip on the sheets falters, hands slipping as tears streak down your flushed cheeks. Your mouth hangs open, drool pooling beneath you, completely mind-fucked and overwhelmed by the pleasure that consumes every inch of your body.

Your limbs have no strength left to resist—no, you don’t want to. Every nerve in your body is thrumming, begging for more as you let him take control. His every movement draws out a fresh wave of sensation, each thrust sending you spiraling closer to that next high. You can’t stop it—there’s no chance to. Your body is his to use, to pull pleasure from again and again, and all you can do is surrender to the bliss as it builds, crashing over you uncontrollably.

"Come for me baby," Gojo coos. "I'll cum in you and if it spills we can start all over again."

~

☆ Toji Fushiguro: 6

First three you are riding him and doing all the work.

Then when your legs give out thats even he fucks you silly

He is so big :( Sometimes he has to let you cock warm him for a bit so you can catch your breath

This is it you where going to die.

You were going to be fucked to death.

"Shhh, stop crying would you? Yer' taking it like a champ I promise."

Two big hands come up to your face to wipe the hot tears streaming down your face. Your body is trembling uncontrollably, every muscle quivering as waves of pleasure leave you numb and overwhelmed. It’s like your senses have short-circuited, leaving you shaking, barely able to register anything beyond the intense, lingering sensation pulsing through you.

Even though Toji is unmoving inside you, your pussy cannot stop spasming from the pleasure of his fat tip pressed up against your g-spot. Even if he wanted to pull out right now, Toji doubts that your cunt would give up the vice grip on his cock. Coincidentally that meant that he was keeping you plugged with 3 loads of warm sticky cum in your tight walls.

"Fuck still so tight baby, you want me to fuck you more don't you?" Toji's voice is a low, teasing coo as his focus shifts to your breasts, his tongue flicking over each hardened nipple, tracing slow, lazy circles that send shivers down your spine. One hand squeezes your breast, kneading the soft flesh, while the other glides over your sides and stomach, his touch warm and deliberate, drawing out every sensation. With all the strength you can muster, you wrap your legs around his waist pulling him closer to you so that you can feel his cock push impossibly farther into you, and he moans into your breast, biting your nipple softly. 

Then, without releasing your nipple from his mouth, he begins the slow roll of his hips into your sloppy cunt. Toji's hips move in a slow, deliberate rhythm, each roll pressing him deeper into you with a tantalizing, unhurried pace. His movements are controlled, almost teasing, as he grinds against you, making you feel every inch, every pulse of his dick as he draws out your pleasure with each smooth thrust.

"Just take it m'kay? You can handle it."

~

☆ Geto Suguru: 4

Geto is a real fiend

The breaks between sex consist of him drinking water and kissing the water into your mouth. After that it's right back to fucking.

Loves taking photos of his cum oozing out of you. Looks at it when he is bored.

“So pretty….”

Drool dripped from your chin onto the pillow below, mixing with the tears streaming from your eyes, which were rolled back in bliss. Your breath hitched the moment Geto's hand tightened in your hair, pulling your head back just enough to catch his gaze out of the corner of your eye. As your eyes lock, a dark, knowing smirk curves on his lips, sending a shiver down your spine. You were finally getting used to the dizzying, mind-numbing pressure of his tip crashing into your cervix—but the bad news? Your legs were completely numb, trembling and useless beneath you.

 “Did you hear what I said doll?”

 Whatever was left of your mind tried to reign back its focus on the man pistoning into you from behind, but as it turned out, there wasn’t much. The friction of his cock dragging against you was unbearable, even with the syrupy cum soaking the walls of your quivering pussy. All you could do was dizzily nod, earning a chuckle from Geto while he eyes the way your hips instinctively raise so his cock can sink even deeper into you from behind. If you could only know the heaven your cunt you're putting his mind in, he is sure you'd be the one smirking. Geto even has to bite harshly on his lip to stop himself from whimpering every time your sticky pussy spasms from pleasure.

The euphoria came in waves of electric current that pulsed through your sloppy pussy and the only thing keeping you grounded his loads of warm sticky cum dripping down your thigh.  

 “Come on speak to me baby, I've only come two times, we've barely even started.”

 The wet sounds of Geto's dick slipping in and out of you filled the room and your senses. His cock filled you so much better than your hands ever could, hitting that gummy spot inside your walls over and over again perfectly, and you wondered how you were ever satisfied with the way you masturbated before you met him.

 “I’m a lucky man arent I? To have such an obedient baby with such a pretty pussy.” His hand comes to your face to caress your cheek, and you nestle into his touch while his thumb wipes away your tears. Your too busy immersing in the warmth of his palm to notice the flash of light and the sound of a shutter above you. Even when you turn your head back in curiosity, all you see is Geto staring at the screen of his phone with a lazy grin spread on his face.

~

☆ Choso: 2

Give this man a break! He's a half century old curse who has never fucked before!

You should be glad that he didn't cum by just slipping his tip in, because oh god lord he is seeing colors.

Choso swore he wasn't a whimpering man. Nothing that good could ever make him stumble over his words like a schoolboy. But Jesus Christ, he was not expecting you.

“F-fuck, you’re tight,” Choso groans hoarsely. You felt good? Try god-like, Choso's mind was in euphoria right now. His hand or a fleshlight could never compare to the way your gummy walls sucked him in and hugged his cock.

"M'feel good Cho~" You whine, head thrown back against the plush pillow. The stretch was delicious. It had you squirming and writhing and you couldn't help but tighten as your body tried to push out the large foreign intrusion. You gasped when you felt his tip smush against your cervix, little bolts of electricity being sent through your stomach as he pressed against you.

Choso was slow at first, wanting to still admire the way your cunt swallows him up, the fat of his head has a hard time popping out with how greedy your cunny is being. He whines at how hot you are on the inside, but he’s quick to change to a faster pace.

Choso’s voice comes out in a deep, breathless groan, his grip tightening as he leans closer, his words heavy with need. "W-wanna do this all the time. Every day, baby," he rasps, his eyes half-lidded in pleasure, completely lost in the sensation. Each thrust seems to pull the words from his lips as if he can’t hold back, his body trembling with how good it feels. The thought of having you like this, over and over, only spurs him on, his pace quickening as he grinds against you, desperate to make this moment last forever.

Unable to handle the sensation, your hands grab his shoulder and grip them for dear life. Choso doesn’t let up his pace, in fact he increases it, pounding your poor little cunt with no remorse. His mind is foggy, everything just feels and looks so so good, he’s not even thinking when he shoves his fingers in your mouth, digits pressing down on your tongue and swirling around in the spit.

“Your gonna let me use you when ever I want right? Gotta lot of time to make up for, you gonna be a good girl and always make me feel good right?”

~

☆ Sukuna Ryomen: Lord have mercy

It depends.

Its either the longest no-break sex marathon of your life or 6 even seven rounds with small breaks in between.

Unfortunately, Sukuna is a sadist, it's a headcanon that he might prioritize his pleasure over yours. Combine that with his godly stamina and you have an insane combo.

Kneeling helplessly, both your wrists pinned behind you by just one of Sukuna’s powerful arms, you can only brace yourself as he thrusts into you from behind, each powerful movement sending shockwaves through your body as he effortlessly controls your every breath, your every tremble.

"C-cant do this!" you cry, your voice breaking as Sukuna's grip tightens around your wrists, holding you firmly in place. Your legs are sore from this kneeling position and the angle that his cock hits you is so euphoric it's almost painful from the sheer collision. Sukuna chuckles darkly, his pace relentless as he leans in closer, his hot breath ghosting over your neck.

"Oh, but you will," he growls, each word dripping with wicked amusement, his hips driving into you harder. "You don’t have a choice."

You can only wail in response, the sound escaping your lips uncontrollably as the overwhelming pleasure consumes you. Every thrust sends a wave of heat surging through your body, your mind going blank as Sukuna fills you completely, each movement pushing you closer to the edge. The pressure builds with each deep, forceful stroke, your body trembling beneath him, and all you can do is surrender to the intense, all-encompassing bliss that threatens to pull you under.

"Such a good girl, you're a natural submissive, aren't you? Or maybe you just loved being fucked like the slut you are."

How much time has passed? You can’t even tell anymore—everything blurs together in a haze of pleasure and heat. The rhythm of Sukuna’s relentless pistoning becomes the only thing grounding you, your mind foggy and lost as your body responds to him instinctively. Each second feels stretched out, an eternity of raw sensation as you teeter on the brink, utterly consumed by the moment.

"Gonna fuck you like this till I’ve had my fill, got that?" Sukuna’s voice is a low, dangerous growl in your ear, the words sending a shiver down your spine as he presses deeper.

[aliyahwritings]

ARE YOU JEALOUS?

Summary: Sassy!Kook!Reader gets jealous when she sees Rafe Cameron close with another girl...

Content: neck sucking (?), childhood friends to lovers, kind of mean!rafe in one scene, bullying lol, suggestive towards the end but just a tiny bit.

Words Count: 5.5k ... i don't know what the fuck happened...

Aliyah's talking: IDK if i fw this or not but i hope yall will lolz <3 Thank you so much for the love on Protective Instincts btw!!!! I am so grateful and surprised that many of you all enjoyed it. Hope u'll enjoy this one too 🩷

Sunlight streamed into Sarah’s room, casting a soft, golden glow over the space as you lounged on her bed, idly flipping through a magazine. You both were sprawled across the plush, yellow covers, surrounded by half-empty bags of chips and scattered makeup palettes—evidence of an afternoon well spent. Sarah was perched by the vanity, trying on different lip glosses, all of which looked beautiful on her, but she insisted on which one was the best.

“So, tell me again,” she started, holding up a tube of shimmery pink gloss and squinting at it thoughtfully. “Why don’t you go for Jake? I mean, he’s cute, he’s smart—”

“And boring. He is boring,” you interjected, rolling your eyes with a laugh. “Come on, Sarah, you know how I am. I need someone with a little more… edge…? Someone that could handle me but also play the game, you know?”

Sarah smirked, setting the lip gloss down and turning to face you. “Edge… Handling your attitude… I’m afraid that weirdly sounds like someone we both know.”

“You think you’re so funny, huh?” you said, shooting her a mock glare.

She laughed, completely unbothered. "What? I’m just stating the facts!" She shrugged, a mischievous glint in her eyes. "As much as I hate to admit it, my brother definitely fits both criteria, so…”

You were listening to her but stopped when your phone buzzed. Out of habit, you unlocked it and opened the notification from Instagram; Topper posted a new story and you watched it. The screen was filled with a shaky video of the beach, the late afternoon sun casting golden light over everything. You recognized some people, but your attention zeroed in on Rafe, right in the center of it all. He was grinning, his arm slung around a girl who was laughing and pulling him closer, like they were the only two people on the beach. 

You felt a quick, unwelcome pang in your chest.

“Hey, what’s got you so interested?” Sarah’s voice broke through your thoughts, and you glanced back at her, masking any hint of emotion with a casual smirk.

You locked the screen and tossed the phone aside. “Nothing. Just Topper’s beach parties and Instagram stories.”

She gave you a skeptical look, folding her arms. “Don’t lie to me. I know you better than yourself, what did you see in that story, Y/N?”

You hesitated, but then shrugged, trying to play it off. “Rafe was at the party with some girl. A new girl. It’s not a big deal.”

“Ah, I see,” she said with a raised eyebrow. “You know he’s always messing around with someone new. But… I thought you didn’t care about what he was up to.”

“I don’t,” you said, a bit too quickly, crossing your arms. “He can do whatever the hell he wants.”

“Right. So, you don’t care at all?”

You rolled your eyes, trying to suppress a smile. “Look, I just don’t get what’s so special about him that girls keep falling over themselves to be around him. That’s all.”

She nodded with a giggle. “Yeah, no, I definitely—”

“And doesn’t it bother anyone that he’s got a new girl every week? I mean, if I were one of those girls who actually liked him, I’d be furious. Wouldn’t you, Sar?” You barely paused before continuing, not even waiting for her answer. “It’s honestly just sad because Rafe really isn’t even all that. Sure, he can be fun and nice sometimes, but he’s also a huge asshole with a big fucking ego. Is it just me, or is everyone blind to that?”

Sarah was quiet for a moment, studying you with a thoughtful expression before she finally spoke up. “You know what? I think we could both use a break from overthinking anything about the opposite sex. How about we get out of here and grab some smoothies? I heard there’s a new spot by the marina.”

You nodded, grateful that she didn’t talk about your little moment. “Yeah, let’s go.”

Sarah grabbed her bag, giving you one last teasing smile. “Smoothies and maybe some retail therapy afterward?”

“Sounds like a plan,” you replied, letting the idea of a carefree afternoon replace the lingering thoughts of Rafe. Whatever he was up to, it was his business. You weren’t about to let it ruin your day.

The soft hum of the fridge and the rhythmic clinking of silverware filled the kitchen as you, Sarah, and Rafe gathered around the island, your weekly routine as ingrained as the family photos lining the walls. The night was settling in, casting a cozy stillness over the room. You were only half-listening as Sarah rambled on about her weekend plans, your attention instead focused on pushing pasta around on your plate, not particularly hungry.

Rafe sat across the counter, leaning back in his chair with an ease that always seemed to irritate you. He had been quiet, too but you knew he wouldn’t last long. Sure enough, he broke the silence.

“Alright,” he began, raising an eyebrow at you, “what’s up with you tonight? You’re awfully quiet.”

You didn’t look up, keeping your tone purposefully casual. “Nothing’s up,” you replied, hoping he’d let it go. But you knew better.

“Come on,” he pressed, tilting his head in that infuriatingly smug way. “Where’s that feisty attitude you always have? Usually, by now, you’d have already made at least five smartass comments about my shirt or something.”

You let out a short, unimpressed laugh, finally meeting his gaze with a raised eyebrow. “Maybe I just ran out of things to say about you, Rafael. Ever think of that?”

He grinned, his eyes glinting with mischief. “Nah. You’ve got an endless supply of attitude, Y/N. I’d be shocked if you were ever actually out of material.” He took a sip from his glass, watching you over the rim with that familiar, infuriating smirk.

Sarah shot you a look, her mouth twisted in a tired smile as she mouthed, here we go. She had seen this routine a thousand times before.

“You really think I spend that much time thinking about you?” you fired back, folding your arms over your chest and fixing him with an unimpressed stare.

“Oh, I don’t think,” he replied smoothly, leaning in a little closer, “I know. Admit it. I’m in your head, aren’t I?”

You let out an exaggerated sigh, leaning back in your chair as you tossed him an indifferent look. “Right. You’re the center of my world, Rafe. Can’t you tell?”

He chuckled, clearly enjoying this. “You know, when you’re this quiet, it’s like a fucking flashing neon sign saying, ‘Something’s up’. Might as well tell me now.”

You rolled your eyes. You knew that engaging with him like this was a slippery slope—once you started, he never let up. But for some reason, tonight, you couldn’t help yourself.

“Honestly, I don’t have the energy for your little mind games tonight,” you said, trying to sound as bored as possible. “So, if you’re expecting me to entertain you, you’re gonna be disappointed.”

“Oh, come on. I don’t believe that for a second,” he shot back, leaning back casually in his chair as if he had all the time in the world to wear you down. “You love this. Sparring with me? It’s basically your favorite hobby.”

You scoffed, shaking your head. "Didn’t realize my silence was such a tragedy for you.”

“Oh, it is. I mean, where else am I supposed to get my daily dose of attitude?” He leaned back, feigning a pout. “Come on, you’re no fun like this. Did something happen?”

You rolled your eyes, twirling your fork in the pasta as if it held your entire focus. “Why would you care? I’m sure you have more important things to worry about. Maybe more girl—”

Sarah let out a sigh, interrupting before Rafe could respond. “Honestly, do you two ever get tired of this? We’re supposed to be having dinner, and it feels like I’m watching some sort of weird rom-com.”

You shot Sarah an exasperated look. “There’s nothing romantic about this, Sar. It’s called surviving.”

“Right,” Sarah said, clearly unconvinced. “But could you maybe survive without the constant bickering? Just once?”

Rafe smirked, clearly unfazed by Sarah’s comment as he turned back to you. “I don’t know. I think she secretly enjoys it. You should see how she lights up when she gets going.”

“Fuck off,” you muttered, taking a long sip from your glass and hoping it would mask the heat you could feel rising in your cheeks.

He watched you with an amused glint in his eye, clearly picking up on your discomfort. “A little defensive, aren’t we? I mean, I’m just stating the obvious here. You’ve been on edge all night. Care to share with the class what’s really bothering you?”

You set your glass down with a little more force than necessary, fixing him with a glare. “You really think everything’s about you, don’t you?”

“Not everything,” he replied, shrugging casually. “Just the things that involve you. Because, for some reason, every time you’re in a mood, it usually has something to do with me.”

You opened your mouth to argue, but then closed it again, unsure of how to respond without giving anything away. You didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of knowing he’d hit a nerve, even if he had.

“What’s the matter, princess?” he continued, pushing his plate aside as he leaned forward, his eyes never leaving yours. “Did something happen between you and Jake, huh? I thought you two were casually talk—”

You groaned, frustrated that he’d brought Jake into it. “There’s nothing to say about Jake. I’m just tired, okay? Not everything has to be about some guy.”

“Oh, I’m aware,” Rafe replied, his tone laced with a hint of smugness. “But I’d say you’re a little more…on edge than usual. So, it has to be about that guy, right…”

“Jake’s got nothing to do with this,” you said, your tone steady. “Unlike you, he actually knows how to mind his own business.”

Well, you’re just lying because you’ve never taken the time to actually learn about Jake and what type of person he was. As bitchy as it sounded, you were using him as a distraction.

You stared at him, hoping your silence would be enough to make him drop it. But, of course, he didn’t.

Rafe crossed his arms as he studied you, his gaze never wavering. “So, you’re saying you prefer a guy who lets you get away with whatever you want, then?”

You scoffed. “No, Rafe. I am saying I prefer a guy who doesn’t feel the need to stick his nose into everything I do. You know, a guy who’s secure enough to let me be without constantly needing to provoke me.”

“Yeah, I see,” he replied, nodding softly. “So, basically, you’re looking for someone boring. Someone who doesn’t challenge you, who just lets you coast by. Am I right?”

You let out a dry laugh, shaking your head. “You think you know me so well, don’t you? Don’t flatter yourself, Cameron. I can find someone else to annoy me if I really wanted to.”

Rafe’s eyes darkened, but that infuriating smirk stayed in place, like he thrived on every bit of tension between you. He cocked an eyebrow, leaning forward, his voice a low, taunting whisper. “Oh yeah? Who, exactly? Jake? He’s perfect for you—goody-two-shoes, never steps out of the fucking line. Because, let’s be honest, you’d crush him. He’d never call you out, never push you.” He paused, and there was a bitterness beneath his words, hidden but unmistakable. “He’d be safe.”

A bitter smile twisted your lips, the pain creeping into your voice despite your best efforts. “At least Jake knows how to be respectful. He wouldn’t stoop to tearing me down just to get a rise. He wouldn’t need to.”

Rafe scoffed, his amusement tinged with a hint of anger. “Respectful? Fuck that. You want someone to play nice and tell you what you want to hear, go right ahead. But I think we both know that’s not what you really want.” He took a step closer, his gaze fierce, challenging. “You think I’m the bad guy because I’m not afraid to tell you the truth. I don’t play pretend. I’m not here to tell you sweet lies—I’d rather see who you really are, even if that means pissing you off.”

You narrowed your eyes, fury blazing in your chest. He was looking right at you, like he could see through every layer you tried so hard to put up. But there was something deeper in his gaze, a flicker of something that made your heart race even as anger burned within you. And you hated that he could do that—make you feel so exposed, so raw, yet so alive all at once.

But to him, this was just another game. He thrived on your frustration, on the way he could get under your skin with just a few well-placed words. It was a twisted power play, a battle neither of you were willing to lose. And for a moment, the air between you was charged, almost electrifying, the tension so thick it was nearly suffocating. 

You wanted to hate him, but a part of you couldn’t help but wonder if he was right—if he really did see through to the parts of you that no one else dared to touch.

But that only made you angrier, and you felt a surge of resentment rise within you, pushing you over the edge. With a sudden flash of fury, you slammed your fists onto the table, the sound echoing through the room, your voice sharp and cutting. “You know what? Fuck you, Rafe Cameron.”

Without another word, you turned and stormed out.

The sound reverberated through the Cameron household, leaving a heavy silence. Rafe stood there, fists clenched, trying to swallow down the mix of anger and something else—something that felt dangerously close to longing.

Sarah raised an eyebrow at her brother. “You’re a fucking asshole, you know that?”

Rafe shot her a look, irritation simmering just beneath the surface. “You don’t get it, Sarah. She’s… She’s infuriating.”

But then he hesitated, his gaze drifting toward the door you had just stormed out of. The edge of his lips twitched in a way that was all too vulnerable, too honest. “But there’s something about her,” he admitted, his voice softening. “She’s fierce and passionate. When she’s angry, it’s like she’s alive in a way I can’t help but be drawn to. It’s frustrating, but… but she’s not afraid to challenge me, to call me out.” He paused, searching for the right words, his heart racing.

“And so that makes it right for you to annoy her to that point?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know. I can’t help it. I want her to see the real me, too. It’s like I can’t breathe when she’s around and then—when she leaves? It’s like the air just… disappears.” He ran a hand through his hair, a mix of confusion and desire etched across his features. “She challenges me in ways I never expected, and it drives me insane, but I can’t help but want more of her.”

“Wow,” Sarah said softly, her voice full of surprise. “I didn’t think I’d see the day Rafe Cameron talked about someone like this—but mess around with her like that one more time, and I’ll hurt you.”

The sun spilled into your bedroom, casting a warm glow that felt inviting. But you stirred, still brimming with the tumult of emotions from last night. Rafe’s words echoed in your mind—his teasing, the way he pushed your buttons, and the way your heart raced despite your annoyance. You groaned and rolled over, pulling the blanket over your head, hoping to drown out the memories.

But then laughter broke through the haze of your thoughts. It was bright and carefree, drifting in through the open window. Intrigued, you tossed off the blanket and slid out of bed, your curiosity piqued. A quick glance outside revealed the source of the joyful sounds: Sarah, Wheezie, and Rafe were out by the pool, splashing water and playfully throwing each other around.

Rafe, wearing nothing but swim trunks that hung low on his hips, was the centerpiece of the scene, effortlessly drawing your gaze. His tanned skin glimmered, accentuating the muscles that rippled as he dove and surfaced in the water, laughter spilling from his lips, infectious and buoyant.

You caught yourself ogling him, eyes roaming over the way the water dripped from his hair, the way his body moved with ease and confidence. It wasn’t fair, really—how could someone be so effortlessly captivating? The sun caught the edges of his grin as he tossed Wheezie playfully into the pool, the sound of her laughter ringing out like music.

You were lost in the moment, so caught up in the heat of his gaze that you didn’t even notice the way your thighs clenched together, craving the contact that felt just out of reach. All you could think about was the overwhelming desire to touch him—everywhere. You imagined your hands gliding over his toned chest, feeling the hard flex of his biceps beneath your fingertips, tracing the lines of his powerful arms as they wrapped around your body, waist, and ass pulling you closer.

You wanted him. God, did you want him.

Why did he have this effect on you? Why was he constantly invading your thoughts, even now?

A sudden buzz from your phone pulled you from your reverie. You grabbed it from the bedside table and saw a message from Sarah: “Get your ass out here! We’re in the pool, it’s fun! You’ll want to join us!”

A smile tugged at your lips at Sarah's enthusiasm, but a moment of hesitation passed as you remembered the tension of last night. Still, you didn’t want to be the odd one out. With a determined sigh, you pulled yourself away from the window and began to get ready.

You rummaged through your drawers, searching for that one bikini that made you look stunning and earned you a handful of compliments every time you wore it. Finally, you found it: a deep emerald green that contrasted perfectly against your skin tone. It was cut high, accentuating your legs, the top was daring, showing just enough to leave to the imagination. You paired it with a pair of denim shorts.

You headed towards the back door, nerves swirling in your stomach. As you stepped outside, the head of the sun hit you like a wave, and the sounds of laughter grew louder.

“You’re awake!” Sarah exclaimed, her voice bright and cheerful. “I thought we’d have to drag you out here!”

You laughed lightly, feeling a playful energy surge within you. “I’m here, aren’t I?” You shot back, trying to keep your tone light as you made your way toward the pool.

Wheezie exclaimed, eyes wide of admiration. “Wow, Y/N! Look at you!”

“Thanks!” you replied, trying to play it cool but secretly loving the attention. You glanced at Rafe, who had turned to face you, and your heart raced at the sight of him leaning against the pool’s edge, water cascading down his toned body.

His gaze lingered on you, a mix of surprise and appreciation playing across his features. “Well, well, if it isn’t the queen herself,” he teased, that infuriating smirk stretching across his face. “Nice of you to join us.”

You rolled your eyes and turned your back to him, feigning indifference as you busied yourself with anything but him. The events of last night were still fresh in your mind, a heated clash that left you reeling and more than a little irritated. You were determined not to give him the satisfaction of a reaction.

“Oh, so I get the silent treatment?” he drawled, his voice dripping with playful disbelief. “I’m devastated,” he added, the corner of his mouth quirking up in that infuriatingly irresistible smirk that always made your heart flutter.

Instead, you focused on Sarah and Wheezie, who were gleefully splashing water at each other. You couldn’t help but feel the pull of their energy. 

Hours rolled by and you settled onto a lounge chair, you could feel Rafe’s eyes on you, the heat of his gaze igniting your skin in a way that both thrilled and annoyed you. He was still in the pool, looking at you like he wanted to eat you alive. You didn’t know but you were driving him crazy with that attitude of yours, this whole ignoring thing and your fucking bikini. 

Sarah and Wheezie went inside the house to prepare some snacks and drinks for us because we were getting hungry and thirsty, leaving only Rafe and you. 

You pulled your phone, pretending to scroll through social media, anything to distract yourself from the way your heart raced at his presence. A notification lit up your phone, and your heart skipped a beat when you saw Jake’s name flash across the screen. The excitement surged through you as you opened the message:

"Hey, gorgeous. I really like you, and I’d love to take you out sometime. You in?"

He was cute—way too cute.

A grin crept onto your lips, and for once, you allowed yourself to enjoy the attention from someone who wasn’t toying with your emotions. Someone who actually seemed genuine. No games, no mixed signals. Just interest. The kind that felt refreshing after dealing with someone who never seemed to know what he wanted.

You barely had time to revel in it before Rafe’s voice cut through the moment, sharp and demanding. “What’s got you smiling like that?”

Your grip tightened on your phone instinctively, and you flicked your gaze up to him, feigning nonchalance. “Oh, nothing. Just a friend,” you said, slipping your phone screen down against your thigh.

Rafe wasn’t buying it. His eyes narrowed, skepticism written all over his face. “Just a friend, huh?” His voice had that dangerous edge to it, the one you knew too well. “Funny, you don’t usually smile like that over friends.”

You felt his eyes burning into you, but you refused to give him the satisfaction. “Really? Maybe you don’t know me as well as you think,” you teased, biting back the smirk threatening to break free.

Rafe’s jaw clenched. “Who was it?”

“Like I said, just a friend,” you repeated, your voice smooth, but now you were teasing on purpose. You could feel his irritation rising, and part of you enjoyed it. “What, are you jealous or something?”

He scoffed, though you didn’t miss the way his eyes darkened. “Why the hell would I be jealous?” he snapped, though it sounded more like he was trying to convince himself than you. “I’m just asking a question.”

“Uh-huh.” You raised an eyebrow, leaning back and tilting your head, watching him closely. “Right. Just a casual question, huh? Totally doesn’t sound like someone’s jealous.”

His hands were now resting on the edge of the pool, gripping it just a little too tightly. “I’m not jealous,” he repeated, but the way his gaze darted to your phone said otherwise. “But if it’s someone trying to get at you, then yeah, I wanna know. Who is it?”

“Someone,” you said vaguely, enjoying the fact that Rafe was teetering on the edge of losing it. “Someone who’s interested, clearly.”

Rafe’s eyes flared, and the jealousy in his voice became impossible to miss. “Interested in what? You?” His lips curled into a scowl, his muscles tense. “What, you think some random guy’s gonna—”

“Maybe,” you cut in, your smile growing. “Maybe he’s actually straightforward, you know? No mind games, no drama. Just a guy who knows what he wants.”

His brows shot up, the implication stinging. “And you think I don’t know what I want?”

You shrugged, not backing down an inch. “Well, you never seem to make it that clear. Maybe someone else is going to take your place as my—”

The possessiveness in his eyes flared. He pushed himself up out of the pool, water dripping from his shoulders as he moved closer, his presence looming over you. “No one’s stepping up, got it? No one’s taking my place.”

You met his gaze, unflinching, even as your heart raced a little faster. “Oh? And what exactly is your place, Rafe?”

He leaned in, the heat between you practically crackling. “You know damn well where my place is,” he murmured, his voice low, daring, yet with a hint of uncertainty creeping in. “And I’m not about to let some bitch ass slide in because you think I don’t care.”

You smiled, tilting your head, savoring the tension. “Seems like you do care. Maybe more than you want to admit.”

“Because I do care, Y/N,” he murmured softly, swiping his wet thumb across your cheek. “I told you already that I cared way too damn much.”

Rafe’s thumb lingered on your cheek, the warmth of his touch sending shivers through your body despite the heat of the day. His eyes held yours, dark and intense, as if he were trying to convey all the words he couldn’t quite say aloud. The air between you was thick, charged with a tension that had been building for far too long.

You swallowed hard, trying to hold onto some semblance of control, but it was a losing battle. “Your way of showing it is fucked, Rafe.”

Your words were meant to cut, but they came out softer than you intended, almost like a challenge. His jaw tightened, but instead of snapping back with some cocky retort, he stepped even closer. The scent of chlorine and his skin invaded your senses, and you couldn’t help but notice how his muscles tensed as he towered over you, dripping with water, his presence commanding.

“I care,” he repeated, his voice lower now, almost a growl. His eyes flicked down to your lips and back to your eyes, like he was making a decision in real time. “I care more than you know.”

Before you could muster a reply, his hand slid from your cheek to the back of your neck, pulling you just a little closer, your breath hitching as his lips hovered near your ear. “I think you know exactly what my place is,” he murmured, his voice rough with unspoken desire. “And you’re not running from it.”

His breath was hot against your skin, sending a wave of heat cascading down your spine. He didn’t move right away, as if savoring the tension that crackled between you, the nearness, the inevitability of it all. Your heart pounded in your chest, your pulse quickening as his lips brushed, ever so lightly, against the sensitive spot just below your ear.

You gasped, your hands instinctively gripping the fabric of your shorts as your body reacted to him, heat pooling low in your belly. “Rafe…” you whispered, not quite a protest, but not quite giving in either.

But he wasn’t about to back down now. He shifted closer, his mouth grazing the curve of your neck, soft at first, then firmer, the scrape of his teeth making your pulse race. Your skin ignited under his touch, and a low moan escaped your lips before you could stop it.

“You feel that?” he whispered, his lips trailing lower, his voice husky and thick with need. “That’s not some game. That’s real.”

Your body arched toward him of its own accord, your resistance melting as his hands slid down to your waist, fingers pressing firmly into your skin, pulling you closer. You could feel the heat of his breath on your neck, his lips teasing, torturing, as they brushed along your collarbone. Every touch, every whisper was setting your nerves alight, and you were dizzy with the intensity of it.

“You’re such an ass,” you muttered, trying to keep a shred of control, but your voice lacked conviction.

He chuckled softly, the sound vibrating against your skin. “Maybe,” he agreed, his lips brushing the spot just beneath your ear again, sending a fresh wave of shivers down your spine. “But you can’t stop thinking about me, can you?”

You hated how right he was. You hated how easily he could unravel you, how even now, you were leaning into his touch, craving more of it. But there was no way you were giving him the satisfaction of hearing it.

“Stop being so cocky,” you managed to whisper, though your voice wavered with the desire that coursed through you.

But Rafe wasn’t in the mood to stop. His hand slid to your lower back, pulling your body flush against his, the coolness of his skin mingling with your own heat. You could feel the hard lines of his body pressed against yours, his chest rising and falling as his lips grazed your shoulder, his teeth scraping lightly against your skin, just enough to make you shudder.

“Admit it,” he murmured against your neck, his voice a deep, rough command. “You want this.”

You closed your eyes, fighting to hold onto your last thread of self-control, but the tension between you was overwhelming, suffocating. His lips moved lower, placing slow, deliberate kisses along your collarbone, each one leaving a trail of fire in its wake. Your breath came in ragged gasps as your body betrayed you, leaning into him, craving the heat of his touch, the weight of his gaze, the way he made you feel like the only person in the world.

“Rafe…” you breathed, your voice barely audible, as his hand slid down to your hip, his fingers digging into your skin possessively. You could feel his breath on your neck, his lips hovering just above the place where your pulse raced beneath the surface.

“I want you, Y/N,” he whispered against your skin, his voice raw, filled with the desire that had been simmering between you for what felt like forever. “And I’m not letting anyone else have you.”

His words sent a shiver down your spine, and before you could think better of it, your hands were in his hair, pulling him closer, your body aching for the contact you’d been denying yourself for so long.

Your lips collided with his in a heated rush, all the pent-up tension and desire finally unraveling between you. Rafe’s hands immediately gripped your hips, pulling you impossibly closer as he kissed you like he’d been waiting for this moment forever. His lips were demanding, rough and hungry, but there was a softness to the way he held you, like he wanted to savor every second. You melted into him, fingers tangling in his wet hair, feeling the slickness of the pool water on his skin as his body pressed against yours.

The taste of him, mixed with the faint tang of chlorine, was intoxicating. It was all-consuming, drowning out every rational thought. He kissed you like he was staking his claim, like he wanted to erase any trace of doubt from your mind, and for a moment, you let him. Your body responded instinctively, arching against his as his hands roamed down your back, gripping you tighter.

When you finally broke apart, both of you gasping for air, Rafe’s forehead rested against yours, his eyes dark with desire and something deeper—something more vulnerable. His chest heaved as he looked at you, his breath coming in ragged bursts. “I like you, Y/N,” he murmured, his voice rough with emotion. “I like you so much it drives me crazy. No more pretending.”

You stared into his eyes, searching for any hint of the cocky facade he usually wore, but it was gone. This was Rafe stripped bare, no teasing, no arrogance—just raw honesty. It made your heart race in a way that had nothing to do with the kiss.

Your breath caught in your throat as you considered what he was saying. Could you trust him? Could you really let your guard down and give in to this, knowing how easily he could hurt you?

But before you could overthink it, he kissed you again, slower this time, more deliberate. His lips moved against yours with a tenderness that made your chest ache, and all your doubts melted away. At that moment, it didn’t matter what had happened before, or what might happen after. All that mattered was how he made you feel right now—wanted, desired, seen.

Rafe pulled back, his thumb brushing gently against your bottom lip, his eyes flicking between yours. “Tell me you feel it too,” he whispered, his voice rough, almost pleading. “Tell me I’m not the only one. Tell me, princess.”

You swallowed hard, your heart hammering in your chest. There was no point in pretending anymore. “You’re not,” you admitted, your voice barely a whisper. “You drive me crazy, Rafe, too—I don’t want to feel this way, but I do.”

His lips curved into a small, triumphant smile, but there was relief in his eyes too, like he’d been holding his breath, waiting for you to say it. “Good,” he murmured, his hand cupping your face as his thumb stroked your cheek. “Because I don’t think I can let you go.”

[rmview]

accidentally leaking their relationship, SKZ.

featuring — stray kids members x gn!reader  ( masterlist )

summary — a reaction of how the stray kids boys end up leaking their relationship accidentally!

contents — crack, fluff, no warnings.

bang ♡ chan

bang chan was always meticulous about keeping your relationship under wraps. as the leader of stray kids, he knew how quickly rumors could spiral and wanted to protect you from unnecessary scrutiny. but even someone as careful as him could make a mistake.

it happened during one of his famous live broadcasts. chan was sitting in his studio, casually chatting with fans as he fiddled with some tracks on his computer. he was explaining his latest project when a notification popped up on his screen. without thinking, he clicked it, and for a brief second, a picture of the two of you appeared.

it wasn’t anything scandalous — just a selfie of you leaning against his shoulder, both of you smiling softly. but it was enough. the comments exploded almost instantly.

who was that??? is chan dating someone??? did i just see a girl??? that girl was me guys, chill

bang chan’s eyes widened as he realized what had happened. “oh, uh…” he scratched the back of his neck, trying to think fast. “that was… an old picture! a friend sent it to me earlier. sorry about that, everyone!”

he quickly ended the broadcast, his heart racing as he leaned back in his chair. a million thoughts ran through his head — had anyone managed to screenshot it? what would the company say? more importantly, what would you think?

when he called you later to explain, you laughed softly, though he could hear the worry in your voice. “it’s okay, chan. it was bound to happen at some point.”

“no, it’s not okay,” he insisted. “i promised to keep this private for your sake, and i slipped up.”

“you’re human,” you reassured him. “and besides, we’ll handle whatever happens together, right?”

hearing your calm voice eased some of his guilt. “yeah, together,” he said softly. “but i’m still going to be extra careful from now on.”

felix ♡

felix adored you, and while he was determined to keep your relationship private, he sometimes let his excitement get the best of him.

the leak happened when felix was baking cookies during a live broadcast. fans loved his warm, cozy streams, and he often shared stories and tips while he worked. as he was mixing dough, his phone lit up with a message from you. without thinking, he glanced at it and smiled.

“sorry, guys,” he said, holding up the phone. “just got a cute message from…” he froze, realizing what he’d just said, gaze falling to the chat that erupted with curiosity.

from who??? felix, are you hiding something??? who’s the cute message from???

felix’s face turned beet red as he stammered, “uh, from my… my friend! yeah, just a good friend.” he laughed nervously, quickly changing the subject to the cookies.

after the stream, he called you in a panic. “i think i messed up,” he admitted, pacing his room. “i almost said too much!”

you couldn’t help but laugh. “relax, lix. it’s not the end of the world.”

“but i want to protect you from all this,” he said, his voice laced with guilt. “i don’t want you dragged into the spotlight because of me.”

“felix,” you said softly, “i know you’ll do your best. and no matter what happens, i’m not going anywhere.”

his heart melted at your reassurance. “you’re too good to me,” he murmured. “but i’ll be more careful. promise.”

lee ♡ know

lee know was famously private, so the idea of accidentally exposing your relationship was something he had nightmares about. he was cautious, always double-checking everything he posted and keeping personal moments strictly offline.

the slip-up came during a group photoshoot. the boys were filming behind-the-scenes content for fans, and lee know had forgotten that he’d left your bracelet on his wrist. it was subtle — a simple silver band engraved with your initials — but eagle-eyed fans didn’t miss a thing. as the content was uploaded online, surprised comments flooded in.

is that… a couple bracelet??? whose initials are those? lee know, explain yourself!!!!

when he saw the comments later, lee know’s heart sank. he immediately called his manager, working out a way to downplay the situation. “it’s just a gift from a close friend,” he said during a live broadcast, keeping his tone neutral.

later that night, he came over to your place, still visibly upset. “i’m sorry,” he said as soon as you opened the door.

you tilted your head, confused. “for what?”

“for being careless,” he said, holding up his wrist. “i should’ve taken it off before the shoot.”

you smiled, reaching out to take his hand. “minho, it’s okay. it’s just a bracelet. and honestly, i’m kind of proud they noticed — i like seeing you wear it.”

his lips twitched into a small smile. “you’re too understanding.”

“i trust you,” you said simply. “and no matter what happens, i’m not worried.”

lee know wrapped his arms around you, resting his chin on your head. “i’ll be more careful next time. but i’m glad you’re not mad.”

“i could never be mad at you,” you teased, making him chuckle softly.

hyun ♡ jin

hyunjin was a hopeless romantic, and his love for you was something he carried with him everywhere. he was cautious about keeping your relationship private but couldn’t help tiny, subtle slips — moments where his affection for you shone through.

the leak happened during a spontaneous live broadcast. hyunjin was lounging on the couch, answering fans’ questions, when someone asked about the small ring on his pinky finger. without thinking, he smiled.

“oh, this?” he held it up, admiring the simple band. “it’s, uh… special to me.”

the chat exploded:

special? like… how??? hyunjin, tell us the truth!!! guys chill that was my anniversary present to him

realizing what he’d done, his eyes widened slightly, and he quickly tried to play it off. “it’s just a good luck charm,” he said with a nervous laugh, switching topics to his latest dance project.

after the live ended, hyunjin flopped onto the couch, groaning into a cushion. he called you immediately, his voice full of guilt. “i messed up. they noticed the ring, and i think they know it’s from you.”

you laughed softly on the other end of the line. “hyunjin, it’s not a big deal. they don’t know for sure.”

“but i feel like i betrayed your trust,” he said, sitting up. “i promised to be careful, and now people might start guessing things.”

“hyunjin,” you said gently, “you don’t have to carry all of this by yourself. we’ll handle it together, okay?”

hearing your reassurance made him feel a little better. “i’m so lucky to have you,” he murmured. “but i’ll be more careful — i don’t want anything to put you in a tough spot.”

jeong ♡ in

jeongin was naturally shy, and dating you was something he kept close to his heart. he wanted to protect your privacy, knowing how overwhelming things could get if the public found out. but even he wasn’t immune to slip-ups.

it happened during a group photoshoot. as the members joked around, jeongin absentmindedly pulled out his phone to check a message from you. a staff member teasingly asked, “who’s got your attention so much, innie?”

without thinking, jeongin blushed and muttered, “just my —” he caught himself, but the damage was done. his hyungs immediately caught on, and a few snickered. “your what, jeongin?”

the teasing moment was captured on camera and uploaded to a behind-the-scenes video. fans were quick to pick up on his slip, speculating about who he might be texting.

jeongin panicked when he saw the comments later. “they’re going to figure it out,” he fretted, pacing his room as he called you.

you tried to calm him down. “jeongin, it’s fine. people speculate all the time — it doesn’t mean they know anything for sure.”

“but what if they do?” he asked, his voice small. “i don’t want you to get hurt because of me.”

you smiled softly, even though he couldn’t see it. “i trust you, and i’m not worried. just be yourself, okay? you don’t have to carry this alone.”

his heart swelled at your words. “you’re too good to me,” he said quietly. “i’ll do better — i promise.”

han ♡

han tried to keep your relationship private, but his naturally playful and forgetful nature meant he occasionally slipped up. one of those moments came when he was recording behind-the-scenes content for a vlog.

as he was showing off his desk setup in the dorm, the camera accidentally panned over a sticky note on the wall that read, “love you, idiot - y/n.” fans immediately paused and zoomed in, and the comment section blew up.

who’s y/n??? han has a girlfriend??? explain yourself to our kids, han jisung!!!

han didn’t notice the uproar until much later, when staff informed him about the growing buzz online. his first reaction was pure panic. “what? how did they see that?!”

he went back to the dorm and immediately called you. “i think i messed up big time,” he admitted, pacing nervously. “your name showed up in the vlog, and people are already talking about it.”

you chuckled softly, though you could tell he was freaking out. “jisung, it’s okay. it’s not like they know anything else.”

“but they’ll start digging,” he groaned. “what if they find out more? i hate the thought of you being dragged into this.”

“hey,” you said gently, “we’ll figure it out. i’m not mad, and i trust you to handle it.”

he sighed, sitting down on his bed. “you’re way too understanding, you know that? i’ll make sure this doesn’t happen again. you deserve better than this kind of stress.”

hearing the guilt in his voice, you reassured him once more. “i’m not worried, jisung. just promise me you’ll stop beating yourself up about it.”

he smiled, feeling a little better. “promise. i’ll be more careful — for you.”

seung ♡ min

seungmin was always composed and cautious, but even he wasn’t immune to the occasional slip-up. he valued your privacy deeply and did his best to ensure your relationship stayed out of the public eye. however, the unthinkable happened during a live broadcast with the group.

the members were joking around when a fan asked who among them was most romantic. changbin teasingly pointed to seungmin, and someone else chimed in, “yeah, seungmin’s probably the type to write love letters.”

seungmin, caught off guard, laughed and muttered, “well, y/n likes —” he froze mid-sentence, realizing what he’d just said. the room fell silent for a beat before the other members burst out laughing to cover for him.

“who’s y/n, seungmin?” hyunjin teased, but seungmin waved it off, cheeks flushed. “no one! i meant, uh, someone i know…” he mumbled, quickly redirecting the conversation.

after the broadcast ended, seungmin rushed to call you. “i slipped up,” he said, his voice laced with frustration. “i said your name. people might connect the dots.”

you chuckled, trying to calm him down. “seungmin, it’s okay. it was an honest mistake.”

“but i promised to protect your privacy,” he argued, guilt evident in his tone. “i don’t want this to affect you.”

“seungmin,” you reassured him, “you’re overthinking it. it’s not like they have any proof. let’s not stress over something we can’t change.”

he let out a heavy sigh, running a hand through his hair. “you’re always so calm about these things. i don’t deserve you.”

“you’re doing your best,” you said softly. “and that’s more than enough for me.”

seungmin smiled, feeling the tension in his chest ease. “i’ll be more careful from now on. you mean too much to me to let this happen again.”

chang ♡ bin

changbin had always been an affectionate boyfriend, often expressing his love through sweet words and gestures. however, his bubbly personality and tendency to speak without thinking occasionally got him into trouble.

the slip happened during a studio vlog. changbin was casually showing off his recording setup when his phone lit up with a notification. the camera caught the preview of your text, which read: “don’t work too hard today, okay? love you 💕”

he didn’t realize it at first, but eagle-eyed fans did. within minutes of the vlog’s release, screenshots flooded social media, sparking speculation about who the message was from.

when changbin finally saw the comments, his heart sank. “oh no,” he muttered, replaying the clip and realizing what had happened.

he immediately called you, his voice a mix of guilt and worry. “i messed up, babe. your message showed up in the vlog, and fans are already talking about it.”

you were silent for a moment before laughing softly. “changbin, it’s okay. these things happen.”

“but i should’ve been more careful,” he argued, pacing his studio. “i don’t want you to deal with any negativity because of me.”

“hey,” you interrupted gently, “i’m not upset, and i’m not worried. if anything, it’s kind of sweet — they saw how much you care about me.”

her words made his chest tighten with affection. “you’re way too understanding,” he said, his voice softening. “but i’ll make sure it doesn’t happen again. you don’t deserve to deal with any stress because of me.”

“you’re overthinking it,” you teased. “but if it makes you feel better, i trust you to be careful next time.”

changbin smiled, his heart feeling lighter. “thank you for being so amazing. i’ll make it up to you — i promise.”

notes: hope you guys enjoyed reading this because i enjoyed writing it a little too much xD