#sometimes i think about going back to streams
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notrebdomine Ā· 3 days ago
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Eric Harris medication
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As most people know, Eric was on Luvox, but before Luvox he took Zoloft. "In a visit to his general physician, Eric's medical records indicate "possible depression" and "mild/ minimal depressive symptoms." In small words, both (Luvox and Zoloft) are SSRI, or "selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor." It increases the amount of serotonin, sometimes called the "feel good" chemical, in the brain.
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The first Luvox prescription listed by Breggin comes on April 25, 1998 for twenty-five milligrams. It was doubled to fifty milligrams just over a month later, and doubled again another month later, in early July. Breggin writes that three and a half months before Columbine, the prescriptions indicate Eric's dose was increased. Breggin also writes that on March 13, 1999, just over one month before Columbine, the medical record notes, "It's 'OK' to increase the dose to 200 mg. per day."
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His point of view about taking medication
Eric would go through periods of taking his medication and going off of it. Below is a journal entry that he wrote in regards to his thoughts on being put on medication.
"My doctor wants to put me on medication to stop thinking about so many things and to stop getting angry. well, I think that anyone who doesn'tĀ think like me is just bullshitting themselves. try it sometime if you think you are worthy, which you probablyĀ will you little shits, drop all your beliefs and views and ideas that have been burned into your head and try to think about why your here. but I bet most of you fuckers cant even think that deep, so that is why you must die. how dare you think that I and you are part of the same species when we are sooooooo different. you aren't human you are a Robot. you don't take advantage of your capabilitiesĀ given to you at birth. you just drop them and hop onto the boat and head down the stream of life with all the other fuckers of your type. well god damnit I wont be a part of it! I have thought to much, realized to much, found out to much, and I am to self aware to just stop what am thinking and go back to society because what I do and think isn't "right" or "morally accepted" NO, NO, NO, God Fucking damnit NO! I will sooner die than betray my own thoughts. but before I leave this worthless place, I will kill who ever I deem unfit."
Original from his journal, page #6 ā†“
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In reality, many of Eric's views were a result of his mental health problems, so in that way, he was right that the medication may change his views, but failed to see that it could be a good thing. He also says in one of his personal tapes, "When I don't take my medication it makes me angry. It's working."
He had some problems with the military concerning his status of medication as well, lying about or simply not mentioning his taking of anti-depressants to his recruiter during his medical examination.
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scarletwinterxx Ā· 2 days ago
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thank your stars all you want but I'll always be the lucky one - choi seungcheol scenario
hellooo~ i am soooo not done with the proposal scenariosšŸ˜… this one is a request, hope i did it justice. and yes I did cry again while writing this. Happy new year!šŸ¤
you can listen to your universe by rico blanco for maximum feels. this was insipired by this songšŸ„ŗ
for my other svt fics, check them here
All works are copyrighted Ā©scarletwinterxx 2025 . Do not repost, re-write without the permission of author.
(gif not mine, credits to rightful owner)
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The soft glow of morning sunlight streams through the windows of Seungcheolā€™s apartment, the familiar scent of his cologne lingering in the air. You stretch lazily in bed, savoring the warmth of the cozy blankets and the faint murmur of the city outside.
Itā€™s a routine youā€™ve grown used to after nearly seven years togetherā€”his home has become yours in every way except officially.
Seungcheol had left early for the gym, promising to grab your favorite smoothies on his way back. The two of you had settled into this comfortable rhythm, a dance of affection and understanding that made your friends tease you mercilessly. ā€œYouā€™re practically married already,ā€ theyā€™d say, rolling their eyes at how well you two knew each otherā€™s quirks.
Still, in the quiet corners of your heart, you sometimes wondered why he hadnā€™t taken the next step. Not that you were in a rushā€”you loved him, and you knew he loved you. But the idea lingered, like a melody waiting to be completed.
Mid-morning, a knock at the door pulls you from your musings. You pad to the door, opening it to find a delivery man holding a small, nondescript package.
ā€œFor Choi Seungcheol?ā€ he asks.
ā€œThatā€™s him,ā€ you reply, signing for the box. Itā€™s light, plain, and gives no indication of whatā€™s inside. You place it on the kitchen counter and send Seungcheol a quick text: A package came for you. Should I open it?
His response is almost immediate. Donā€™t open it! Iā€™ll deal with it when Iā€™m back. Thanks, babe.
His urgency makes you chuckle. Itā€™s rare for him to be this insistent. Shrugging, you leave the package untouched and go about your day, but curiosity itches at the back of your mind.
When Seungcheol returns, heā€™s casualā€”too casual, you think. His eyes dart to the counter where the package rests, and he quickly sweeps it up. ā€œThanks for letting me know,ā€ he says, planting a kiss on your forehead.
ā€œSure,ā€ you reply, narrowing your eyes at him. ā€œWhatā€™s in it?ā€
ā€œJust some gym stuff,ā€ he lies, his tone a little too breezy. You know him well enough to catch the slight shift in his demeanor.
Over the next few days, you notice odd behavior. Seungcheol becomes extra cautious, sometimes darting out of the room with his phone or quickly closing drawers when you walk in.
Itā€™s adorable but also maddening. Youā€™re good at sniffing out surprises, and whatever heā€™s hiding, itā€™s big.
The breaking point comes during dinner one night. The two of you are seated across from each other, candles flickering between you. Heā€™s unusually fidgety, his fork clinking against the plate as he triesā€”and failsā€”to make eye contact.
ā€œSeungcheol,ā€ you say, narrowing your eyes at him as he pokes at his steak. His fidgeting is driving you insane. ā€œSpit it out.ā€
ā€œWhat?ā€ he replies, looking up with wide, innocent eyes that you know all too well arenā€™t innocent at all.
ā€œYouā€™re acting weird.ā€ You lean forward, pointing your fork at him. ā€œI can tell youā€™re hiding something. Just say it.ā€
ā€œIā€™m not hiding anything,ā€ he insists, but his voice cracks slightly. ā€œCanā€™t a guy just enjoy dinner with his girlfriend without being interrogated?ā€
ā€œNot when heā€™s sweating bullets,ā€ you deadpan, crossing your arms.
He laughs nervously and takes a big gulp of water. ā€œItā€™s justā€¦ Iā€™m thinking about work stuff.ā€
ā€œLiar,ā€ you say, raising an eyebrow.
ā€œOkay, maybe itā€™s gym stuff,ā€ he says, grinning in that way he does when heā€™s trying to distract you. ā€œIā€™m planning a new workout routine.ā€
ā€œSeungcheol, I know every workout routine youā€™ve ever done. Donā€™t test me.ā€
He groans, dropping his fork onto his plate and dramatically rubbing his face. ā€œCan you trust me on this one? I promise you'll love it and will hate me if I tell you right now. Iā€™ve been working very hard on, can you be kind enough to spare me for now. I pinky promise you'll know soon enough"
You blink at him, stunned by his sudden honesty.
Then, a small smile creeps onto your lips. ā€œFine,ā€ you say, leaning back in your chair. ā€œBut Iā€™m only letting this go because you look like you might combust if I keep pushing.ā€
He lets out a loud sigh of relief, muttering a quiet, ā€œThank you.ā€ standing up from his seat to go to you, giving your head a kiss.
The rest of the evening is pleasant, even though you canā€™t help but notice how Seungcheol keeps stealing glances at you, a secretive smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.
Itā€™s enough to make your curiosity burn, but you keep your promise and drop the subjectā€”for now.
A week later, the snow falling heavy covering the streets with sheets of white. You love the snow, you've always love cold weathers more even though your body doesn't. Anything below 80Ā° makes you shiver.
Your boyfriend knows this, he learned early on your relationship that you get cold easily so he always brings a jacket for you. Now you own his hoodies, a shared asset.
The air outside is crisp as Seungcheol insists on taking you on an evening walk through a quiet park. It's all covered in snow making the whole scene look magical.
Winter lights hang from the trees, casting a warm glow over the snow-dusted path. He holds your gloved hand in his, his thumb brushing over your knuckles as he leads you to a secluded gazebo overlooking a frozen lake.
ā€œWhy here?ā€ you ask, smiling at his excited energy. ā€œItā€™s freezing.ā€
ā€œItā€™s romantic,ā€ he replies, winking. ā€œJust trust me.ā€
You shake your head, amused. ā€œIā€™m starting to think youā€™re up to something.ā€
ā€œMe? Up to something?ā€ He grins mischievously
You look up at the sky, it's dark enough to see the stars. Living in the city, it's a rare sight so you close your eyes and send a quick wish to the heavens like you always do when you see a star. Meanwhile Seungcheol watches you, a smile forming on his lips and his heart thumping hard in his chest
With your eyes still closed, you feel Seungcheol lean closer to you. He kisses your cheeks eliciting a giggle from you
ā€œYouā€™re being extra sweet tonight, did you do something?ā€ you tease
ā€œIā€™m always sweet,ā€ he counters, feigning offense.
He seems restless, though, his leg bouncing slightly.
ā€œAre you cold?ā€ you ask, concerned.
ā€œNo, no. Just... thinking.ā€
You narrow your eyes. ā€œAbout what?ā€
He looks at you, his gaze so intense it makes your heart skip. ā€œAbout how lucky I am to have you.ā€
You roll your eyes with a laugh, nudging him playfully. ā€œWhatā€™s with the cheesy lines tonight?ā€
He chuckles but doesnā€™t answer, leaning in to press a kiss to your temple instead. Then another on your cheek. And one on your lips. His kisses grow deeper, hotter, until the cold around you feels irrelevant.
ā€œCheol,ā€ you murmur against his lips, half-laughing, half-serious, ā€œwhat are you doing?ā€
ā€œLoving you,ā€ he whispers, his voice low and warm.
Despite his sweetness, youā€™re still clueless about his plan.
When he finally pulls back, he takes both your hands, holding them tightly. ā€œThereā€™s something Iā€™ve been meaning to ask you.ā€
You tilt your head, your curiosity piqued. ā€œWhat is it?ā€
He drops to one knee in front of you, and your heart stutters. ā€œYou don't know how hard it was to keep this from you, every time you ask I almost wanted to tell you but I wanted everything to be perfectā€ He pulls a small velvet box from his coat pocket, opening it to reveal a glittering diamond ring.
Your mouth falls open, your breath caught in your chest.
ā€œYou are my everything,ā€ he says, his voice steady despite the emotion in his eyes. ā€œThe one who makes my world brighter, warmer, better. Whenever I think about the future, I can only see us. You. Stealing all of my hoodies, cooking breakfast for us, me bringing home your favorite smoothie on the weekend. To be honest, I don't really need any wishes because I'm already the lucky one. But will you make me the luckiest man and let me be your husband?ā€
Your lips jut out, quivering as tears fall down your cheeks. You can't even form words right now so you just nod frantically, unable to speak. He slips the ring onto your finger, and you throw yourself into his arms, laughing and crying at the same time.
ā€œYouā€™re unbelievable,ā€ you whisper as he kisses you again, deeper this time, stealing the breath from your lungs.
He smiles against your lips. ā€œI take it thatā€™s a yes?ā€
ā€œOf course, itā€™s a yes,ā€ you reply, pulling him closer. ā€œYou big, cheesy romantic.ā€
He laughs, his forehead resting against yours. ā€œTold you, you'll love my supriseā€
And you do. With the stars above, the quiet of the snowy park, and the warmth of his love, you know youā€™ve found your universe in him.
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aventurineswife Ā· 3 days ago
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could i request aventurine with a homesick g/n reader? in the sense that they are from a different planet and are either visiting/living in penacony. i think itā€™d be interesting considering how aventurine might relate to their situation.
Home is not a place, itā€™s a feeling
Summary: Aventurine finds himself drawn to you as you struggle with homesickness, feeling the weight of longing for your home planet while living in Penacony. As your sense of loss grows, Aventurine, who understands the pain of displacement and survivorā€™s guilt, offers a form of quiet support. Through small, thoughtful gestures and shared vulnerabilities, he helps guide you through your emotional struggle, while also confronting his own buried fears and regrets.
Tags: Aventurine x Reader, Homesickness, Emotional Support, Mutual Vulnerability, Internal Conflict, Subtle Romance, Hurt/Comfort.
Warnings: Themes of homesickness and isolation, Mentions of survivorā€™s guilt and trauma, Emotional angst, Mild manipulation (in terms of comfort, not malice), Subtle, slow-building romance.
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The light of Penaconyā€™s moon streamed through the floor-to-ceiling windows of Aventurineā€™s lavish suite, casting fractured beams of light across the opulent room. You sat curled in a corner of the velvet chaise, knees drawn to your chest, staring out at the sprawling cityscape. Penacony was beautifulā€”its vibrant nightlife, radiant architecture, and bustling marketsā€”but it wasnā€™t home.
A sigh escaped your lips as the glow of your home planet, so far away, weighed heavy on your heart. You missed the simple things: the scent of rain on your streets, the taste of your local delicacies, the way the sun dipped below familiar horizons. Being here, surrounded by decadence and strangers, only seemed to amplify your longing.
ā€œYou know,ā€ Aventurineā€™s smooth, lilting voice broke the quiet, ā€œIā€™ve seen a thousand starscapes, but thereā€™s a certain sadness in how they all start to look the same.ā€
You glanced up to find him leaning casually against the doorway, his hair catching the moonlight. Dressed in his usual blend of ostentation and elegance, with his overcoat draped over his shoulders, Aventurine looked every bit the enigmatic gambler he was. But there was something in his expression tonightā€”something softer, quieterā€”that made you pause.
ā€œCanā€™t sleep?ā€ he asked, strolling toward you. The faint scent of his cologne, something sharp yet sweet, lingered as he perched on the armrest of your chaise.
You shook your head. ā€œJustā€¦ thinking.ā€
ā€œAh,ā€ he said, his eyes narrowing slightly as if reading between the lines. ā€œThinking about home, arenā€™t you?ā€
The knot in your chest tightened. ā€œYeah,ā€ you admitted softly. ā€œI miss it. Everything here is soā€¦ different.ā€
Aventurine tilted his head, his smile faint but warm. ā€œHomesickness is a peculiar kind of ache, isnā€™t it? Itā€™s not just missing a placeā€”itā€™s missing a piece of yourself that only exists there.ā€
You blinked at him, surprised. ā€œYou get homesick?ā€
He chuckled, the sound low and wistful. ā€œSometimes. Though ā€˜homeā€™ is a rather abstract concept for me. Sigonia wasnā€™t exactly a paradise.ā€ His tone was light, almost dismissive, but his gaze drifted to the window, and you caught a flicker of somethingā€”pain, perhaps, or nostalgia.
ā€œStill,ā€ he continued, ā€œthere are moments Iā€™d give anything to feel the desert wind on my face again. To hear my motherā€™s voice calling me in for supper or to watch my sisterā€™s silly little dances under the sun. Even knowing I canā€™t go back, the memoriesā€¦ they stick with you, donā€™t they?ā€
You swallowed hard, the rawness of his words resonating deeply. ā€œYeah,ā€ you murmured. ā€œThey do.ā€
Aventurine leaned forward, resting his chin on his hand as he studied you. ā€œYou know,ā€ he said after a moment, ā€œthereā€™s a trick to homesickness.ā€
ā€œOh?ā€ you asked, raising an eyebrow.
He grinned, a flash of his usual bravado returning. ā€œYou carry it with you. All the things you missā€”the smells, the tastes, the soundsā€”you find ways to recreate them. Here, there, anywhere. You make your own little pockets of home, no matter how far youā€™ve wandered.ā€
Your lips quirked into a small smile. ā€œThatā€™sā€¦ surprisingly practical advice for someone like you.ā€
Aventurine placed a hand over his heart, feigning offense. ā€œDarling, Iā€™ll have you know Iā€™m full of wisdomā€”when the occasion calls for it.ā€ His playful tone softened as he added, ā€œBesides, I know what itā€™s like to feel untethered. And I wouldnā€™t wish that on anyone.ā€
His sincerity caught you off guard, and for a moment, the ache in your chest eased. ā€œThanks, Aventurine,ā€ you said quietly.
He waved a hand dismissively. ā€œThink nothing of it. Now, letā€™s make a deal.ā€
ā€œA deal?ā€ you echoed, narrowing your eyes.
He leaned closer, his grin widening. ā€œIā€™ll help you make Penacony feel a little more like homeā€”find the right food, music, scents, whatever you need. In return, youā€™ll owe me a favor.ā€
You couldnā€™t help but laugh. ā€œOf course, thereā€™s a catch.ā€
ā€œThereā€™s always a catch,ā€ he teased, his eyes sparkling mischievously. ā€œBut trust me, darlingā€”itā€™s worth the gamble.ā€
For the first time in days, the weight of homesickness didnā€™t feel quite so heavy. Maybe, just maybe, Aventurineā€™s gamble was one you were willing to take.
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pickles4nickles Ā· 23 hours ago
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Last year, I wanted to do some kind of jank, made in Powerpoint VGAs-type stream, butā€¦ that requires me to put a Powerpoint together and a speech for each thingā€¦ and Iā€™d wanna make a cute little suit for my PNGtuber and Iā€™d need to find the TIMEā€¦
And that was too much pressure for me to get everything together.
So instead, I did a blog post rundown of the games that were released in 2024 that I either played or experienced through a stream that I liked or have something to say about it. The fact that any video game is released is kind of a miracle in and of itself and I think that deserves an award, even if itā€™s not ā€œThe Mostā€ or ā€œThe Bestā€ of something!
So without further ado, hereā€™s my version of the 2024 Video Game Awards:
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The Worst Use of the Name ā€œMililaniā€ Award | Like a Dragon: Infinite Wealth
LaD: Infinite Wealth was the latest release in the Yakuza series, where ex-yakuza man Ichiban Kasuga goes to Hawaiā€™i to find his mom and shenanigans ensue. The man who is supposed to be Legally Dead and Not Alive known as The Dragon of Dojima, Kiryu Kazuma is also there. Heā€™s having a mortality crisis. Itā€™s fine. If youā€™ve never played or experienced a Yakuza game, the vibe is essentially big crime J-drama with interludes of silly side stories in-between. Some of these side stories include games that involve taming and getting into cockfights with middle-aged weirdo men and running a vacation resort with cameos from characters of the Japanese equivalent of Sesame Street.
I actually wrote a really, really long review about this game back in the Spring, so Iā€™ll keep this section as short as I can. LaD: IW is a game that attacked my soul as I am a Hawaiā€™i born and raised Gamerā„¢. For the most part, I did enjoy the 100+ hours I put into the game and I did like the battle system and side games, but I have some gripes about the story and I do kinda cross my arms at the way the game portrayed my hometown. That being said I think Infinite Wealth isā€¦ ffffine and Iā€™d recommend it if you like the Yakuza series or big JRPGs, justā€¦ be wary of the intercultural perceptions.
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The Productivity Killer Award | Balatro
Balatro is a roguelike deck building game that revolves around making the highest scoring Poker hands, while using various Joker and other cartomancy-kinda cards to manipulate your score, but also editing your deck by modifying or adding to the traditional 52 that youā€™d use in regular Poker.
Balatroā€™s justā€¦ good! Itā€™s really easy to pick up even if you donā€™t know how to play real Poker (like me), but thereā€™s also an insane level of mastery to be had with it. Thereā€™s just something kinda fun about breaking the rules of a long-established card game that feels great.
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The Tiniest Terry Award | Tiny Terryā€™s Turbo Trip
Tiny Terryā€™s Turbo Trip is a game by the Wuppo devs where youā€™re a little blue guy who drives his car around the town of Spranklewater, collecting Turbo Junk to upgrade his car to launch it into space. You also have a pipe. To assert dominance :)
TTTT has this really specific dry and absurdist flavor of humor that I really, really like. And on top of that itā€™s just a really fun game to run around in and play. Massive overworld maps that you find in bigger budget games can get overwhelming, but this game has just the right amount of places to go and poke around in.
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The Stupidest Game Iā€™ve Played This Year /pos Award | Thank Goodness Youā€™re Here!
Thank Goodness Youā€™re Here is a game where youā€™re a little man in a delightful 2D, hand-drawn British town and you just kinda slap things and help people with their problems. Sometimes there is a dick joke. Sometimes there is just straight up A Dick. Because British humor.
I donā€™t have too much, like, deep and meaningful insight about this oneā€¦ because itā€™s really not that type of game. I really like the art style of this game, the whole thing is pretty much just one, big interactive sketch comedy. Itā€™s a game thatā€™s very unapologetic about its culture by just forcing you to sit with how grimy it can be at times, and itā€™s great!
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The Devotion Burger Award | Great God Grove
Great God Grove is a game from the Smile for Me devs about a world in which every thirty or so years, a giant rift in the sky opens up that acts as a portal between the mortal plane and the realm of the gods. An elected human can enter the rift and ascend to godhood, but if left open too long, the rift will suck up and destroy the world. The gods have always joined together to close the rift, but this time around, The Grove is in chaos. Due to some nasty letters sent out by the next-god-to-be, King, it doesnā€™t seem like the gods will come together in time to stop the apocalypse, so it looks like itā€™s your job to straighten things out. With your trusty tool, the Megapon, you can suck up the words people say and shoot them at other people to help people communicate and solve puzzles.
So youā€™ve all been seeing me draw fanart of this game. This game got into my HEAD. LimboLaneā€™s character designs and writing are always so unique and quirky and theyā€™re not afraid to put their feelings and emotions into their art (I have been learning recently that that is very hard to do). I was initially interested in this game because of its style, went in as blind as possible, and I did not expect this game to fall into my lap when I really needed it most because it touched upon some subjects that Iā€™ve been kinda struggling with recently. This and Tiny Terryā€™s Turbo Trip would probably be my Game of the Year picks if I was making that a concrete award for this.
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The Gay Fish Award | WEBFISHING
WEBFISHING is a multiplayer lobby (but you can play it solo!) game where you make a little animal guy (cat or dog) and you fish and hang out with your friends. As you fish, you earn money that can be exchanged for cosmetics.
WEBFISHING is a really, really simple game and thatā€™s, like, not a bad thing or to undermine the devs or anything at all. Most multiplayer games have a very concrete goal in mind where players usually have to focus on the main goal to participate, and a lot of us just donā€™t have the time or the energy to be actively and continuously present for something like that anymore. The nature of WEBFISHING is just hanging out with your pals, popping in and out as it suits you. And we need more games like that.
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The Why Have You Done This Award | UFO 50 - Mooncat
UFO 50 is a pack of fifty retro-style games from the Spelunky devs and friends that emulates a fictional video game companyā€™s legacy through the years. Mooncat is one of those games where you play asā€¦ what- what the hell is that- An orange (red?) pickle-shaped creature with Grinch feet and unknown motivations.
The directional buttons move the character left and face buttons will move the character right. Pressing a directional button and a face button at the same time will make the character jump and doing so again while in mid-air will make them do a ground pound.
Hey, so, I dunno what mad lad in specific came up with this game, but this is simultaneously one of the worst and best things I have ever played and I think this game should get spotlighted for that emotion alone.
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The ā€œClose Enough, Welcome Back Pokemon XDā€ Award | Beastieball
Beastieball is basically what if Pokemon was also Haikyuu- this is a game thatā€™s Pokemon double battles but also a volleyball game at the same time. As you recruit new critters to your team, theyā€™ll learn new plays, maybe metamorphose into new forms, and make bonds with their teammates.
At the time I initially started writing this, I hadn't finished the whole game- Iā€™m near the end, though, at this gameā€™s version of The Elite Four. The game is also still in early access with a lot of Beasties having unfinished visual assets. Despite all that, BEASTIEBALL IS SOLID. I might write up a longer review of it once Iā€™m done with the game, but as someone whose favorite Pokemon game is Pokemon XD and we havenā€™t had a solid PvE experience in that franchise in YEARS, Beastieball definitely scratches that itch.
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The Cardboard Crack Award | Pokemon TCG Pocket
Pokemon TCG Pocket is Pokemonā€™s new trading card game app where you collect cards and play a simplified version of the long-running card game.Ā 
Iā€™m putting this here because for being a free-to-play live service kinda game, itā€™s beenā€¦ pretty good all things considered? At least for now? Yeah, thereā€™s some decks that arenā€™t FTP friendly and the RNG will have your head in your hands sometimes. I dunno, as someone who fell hard from playing Pokemon VGC where I got overwhelmed with the amount of plays I had to retain, this was a nice change of pace. Iā€™ve been having fun talking about the different kinda decks that have been going around with friends, sharing the cards we find, and I get to experience the serotonin of opening a card pack without having to spend real world money so... good! While thereā€™s a nonzero chance that the game will fall to ruin a la Pokemon Go, Iā€™ve enjoyed the time Iā€™ve had with the game at the moment.
The ā€œGames I Watched but Didnā€™t Playā€ Honorable Mentions
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Yellow Taxi Goes Vroom
ā€œShmovementā€- type platformer where youā€™re a little car with an acceleration button. Has a really great soundtrack! Not-so-subtly dunks on the muskrat man. I donā€™t have a lot to say about this game because, again, I watched it and didnā€™t play it and a lot of what makes this game neat is the platforming of it all. Itā€™s on my to-play list, though! So maybe one day.
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Crow Country
Survival horror game where you uncover the secrets of the eponymous amusement park, Crow Country. Has an unsettling vibe, goopy monsters, but doesnā€™t really have any jumpscares, if that helps anyone. I also donā€™t have a lot to say about this, not just because a lot of the experience comes from having the controller in my hands, butā€¦ horrorā€™s not really a genre I go to very often. But I guess if a scaredy baby like me wasnā€™t put off by the early Playstation-style graphics and could sit through it, thatā€™s a good sign?
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Uncle Chopā€™s Rocket Shop
An auto shop repair roguelike where you consult in-game manuals on how to repair different modules under time pressure. Has a lot of swearing for Vibe Reasons. From what Iā€™ve seen, this game can be FRANTIC, so if youā€™re looking for a chill game, this might not exactly be for you, but there are two modes- one with smaller jobs, but more time pressure, and another with less time pressure, but bigger jobs that you need to do almost perfectly. Iā€™ve been burnt out on roguelikes, but I might actually consider picking this one up, as the test of skill isnā€™t necessarily reaction time or muscle memory like your traditional roguelike, but gaining knowledge to fix modules quickly without consulting the manual. And I think thatā€™s neat! I donā€™t think weā€™ve had a game like that just yet. That being said, the game has been buggy at times, but the devs have been patching it up regularly, so if youā€™re interested in picking it up, be aware of that! And waiting a little bit before grabbing it might be a solid move.
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Egg Squeeze
If Thank Goodness You're Here! was the stupidest game I've played this year, this is the stupidest game I've watched this year.
I refuse to tell you anything about this game.
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Persona 3 Reload
Itā€™s the same Persona 3 we all know from the early 2000s with a LOT of quality of life changes and fully voiced social links! That being said, it is still Persona 3, so your mileage may vary and please note the literal trigger warnings.
Iā€¦ was not able to finish watching a playthrough of it because the end of the game does get kinda heavy and I havenā€™t been in the right headspace for it (I do not handle death and mortality very well), but in my opinion, of the more modern, easily accessible Persona games (Pour one out for 1 and 2), I think P3 sticks to its thesis and theming the best.
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Metaphor: ReFantazio
A game from the Persona team where itā€™s the same kinda day-to-day hang out with people to strengthen your bonds, fight RPG dungeon monsters kind of deal, except instead of a Japanese high school, a high fantasy setting.Ā 
I liked watching this game- thereā€™s a lot of twists that made me metaphorically (heh) get up from my chair and go ā€œNO FUCKING WAYā€ and I do like a lot of the characters and their social links. However, this still is the Persona team and, no, they still do not know how to write young adult women. In terms of overall story, Metaphor asks the question, ā€œIn times of fear and anxiety, can the general public be trusted to choose a trustworthy leader?ā€ While the gameā€™s plot and themes swing hard in the beginning, the gameā€™s ending kinda pulls its punches.
Despite all that, from what Iā€™ve seen, thereā€™s a lot of quality of life improvements in this game compared to past Persona games - social links ALWAYS level up for each event, the game will very clearly tell you whether an action will progress time or not, the battle system is very polished, and a lot of people seem to like the Archetype system which allows your party members, not just the protagonist, to change battle classes.
Also, shout-out to some of this gameā€™s enemy designs, as some of them are inspired by Hieronymus Bosch paintings. I donā€™t think a boss battle has ever filled me with the rawest emotion of ā€œokay what the hell am I looking atā€ as much as this game.
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Astro Bot
In the past few years, Team Asobi, a first-party developer for Sony, has been making what are basically tech demos for the Playstation, featuring their little cutie robot player character, Astro Bot. This year, they released a full-on collectathon platformer! A green Minion-ass lookinā€™ alien breaks apart your spaceship and scatters your robot buddies to the winds, and itā€™s your job to save them.
Iā€™m just gonna sound like a broken record at this point because, yeah, this game won the VGAs and so many people have sung its praises, but Iā€™m genuinely glad this won GOTY. Even though itā€™s a very ā€œSony wants you to remember how good they are/used to beā€ kind of game that pricks you with a needle and pumps 50ccs of nostalgia into you, itā€™s still a very solid game without it. To me, the visuals are the best part, with bright, colorful worlds that have so, so much polish into them and you can tell the team had fun making it. Iā€™m glad this game won the GOTY because I want this industry to realize that games donā€™t need to be gritty and realistic to have value, they just need to be made with heart.
And Two Games I Played This Year that were 2023 Releases
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In Stars and Time
Dude, youā€™re still on Tumblr, you probably heard of this one.
In Stars and Time is a black and white RPG Maker kinda RPG where you play as Siffrin, who is So Very Okay And Not Having A Rough Time At All and stuck in a time loop. The battles operate under a literal rock-paper-scissors weaknesses system with a ATB (Active Time Battle) meter and a Persona-like All-Out Attack style system, which builds as you use the same types of attacks in succession.
It has The Character (Siffrin) with The Character Design. It has the object head character. It has maybe the most casual conversations about being trans and being ace that I've ever seen in any video game so far. It has the narrative that will rip your heart out and possibly inspire you to consider therapy (not as a bad thing). It has so much!!
I have a lot of feelings on In Stars and Time as this was maybe the most cathartic game Iā€™ve played in a while that put into words a lot of feelings I havenā€™t quite been able to name. That being said, I donā€™t have too much to say other than, like, itā€™s good? While a lot of games have the ludonarrative dissonance problem, this game achieves ludonarrative harmony. Although the cast has been traveling with the protagonist prior to the start of the game, Siffrin being emotionally distant from them means thereā€™s some stuff they donā€™t know about their friends, so you get to learn whatā€™s going on with them along with Siffrin. As you go through loop after loop after loop, youā€™ll maybe get a little frustrated and the game realizes that and reflects that narratively! A lot of RPGs also have trouble nailing the ending or, like, either the gameplay is good and the story falls short or the other way around, butā€¦ ISATā€™s pretty much nails everything!
If I had played this in 2023 (and Hi-fi RUSH didnā€™t exist), it mightā€™ve been my GOTY.
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Chants of Sennaar
A point-and-click-ish deductive reasoning game where you use cultural and societal context clues to translate language!
I think this is a game thatā€™s best to go in knowing as little as possible, like, if the premise sounds interesting at all to you, go and pick it up. If youā€™re on the fence about it because puzzle games can be difficult, the game has a note-taking journal system thatā€™ll help you confirm translations and show any notes youā€™ve taken on-screen as youā€™re puzzling stuff out, so you donā€™t have to worry about getting overwhelmed. I think thatā€™s all I can say about it without spoiling anything, so go grab it if it piques your interest at all.
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bloodhoundsandplagues Ā· 2 days ago
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How can I make it OK?
Arthur Morgan x reader
Summary : you're homesick.
gender neutral reader, no use of y/n, not explicitly romantic unless you wanna read it that way, 3K words
Warnings : swearing, mentions of suicide, panic attack described in semi detail, not the jolliest thing i've ever written
A/N : first post that's actually writing in 2025 ! wrote most of this on the train while listening to house in nebraska by ethel cain and more than this by wolf alice so yeah. also this isn't arthur heavy in the sense that it's reader rambling about being homesick mostly. to be read in a southern accent as god intended
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Of all the places I have travelled with the Van Der Linde gang, I think this is my least favourite.Ā 
Living- or rather, camping- in the ruins of some plantation, bodies of the former owners stagnating in the pond. Sometimes I hear ā€˜em- the ghosts, in the walls, screaminā€™. I know itā€™s my mind, playing tricks on me; but itā€™s harder to have that rational thought when youā€™re lying alone in the middle of the night, wind whistling through broken windows. Itā€™s not that I donā€™t like having a roof over my head. Shit, everyone in this godforsaken gang is happy to have a real shelter from the weather, even one as flimsy as this house. So I shut my mouth, hunt as Iā€™m expected-which is what I am doing now, borrowed bow over my shoulder, quiver resting comfortingly between my shoulder blades.Ā 
Hunting is familiar. Back in the Grizzlies, where my daddy raised me, weā€™d go out any time of day, in any weather, hunt for the coming storms. Iā€™d do everything the way he taught me to- lay out traps, wait behind a boulder, bow in hand. It builds patience, he told me when I asked why the hell we didnā€™t just track the damn animal, instead of waitinā€™ in the cold for it to find us.Ā 
Now, itā€™s not cold, and dear old daddy ainā€™t here to help.Ā 
I left my horse hitched by a lake, with enough grass for him to be fed and well until I bring back something worthy of Pearson. Itā€™s near sunrise; already, the heat is uncomfortable; my skin is sticky, my clothes uncomfortable. Itā€™s moments like these that I long for the snow.Ā 
I wipe my forehead with the back of my head. Iā€™ve been walking for a little while now, waiting for a pack of deer to pass by. Thereā€™s something that bothers me about killing them- maybe itā€™s their eyes, so big and brown, caught frozen as they stare at you. Or maybe itā€™s their resemblance to this little girl I knew, at a local village at the base of the mountain where I grew up.Ā 
I shake the thought of her big brown eyes and twitchy nose as I spot a herd of ā€˜em, grazing near a small stream. Thereā€™s enough light for me to count them- seven, big enough to feed us.Ā 
I get on one knee, like my daddy taught me. Notch an arrow in the bow, pull it back. One of the poor animals raises its head, looks in my direction.Ā 
Before I can hesitate, I let go, and the arrow flies; a fraction of a second later, it has notched itself in the animalā€™s throat. It falls; its friends, the rest of its herd (its gang, I think, almost laughing) scamper off, into the woods. I donā€™t go after them. Pearson will have to do with this, and whatever herbs or mushrooms Iā€™m able to pick up.Ā 
The doe is dead by the time I reach her. I kneel. Pull the arrow from her neck; thick, sticky blood gets on my hands. I almost reach for snow, to clean it off; curse myself when my fingertips meet grass and mud. The doeā€™s dead eye stares up at me, brown and empty as the sky. I resist the urge to close them.Ā 
ā€œSorry, sweet.ā€ I whisper it as I hoist her up, put her over my shoulder. Sheā€™s heavy. I must be getting blood on my shirt- itā€™s a shame, because itā€™s my favourite colour, and Iā€™ve just bought it.Ā 
I swallow any regrets I feel as I walk back to my horse, the weight of the doe uncomfortable against my bow and quiver.Ā 
Youā€™re the reason she wonā€™t come home, a little voice whispers in my head. I stop, then, because my chest is tightening and I canā€™t really breathe. I say something incoherent. The fields around me are empty- itā€™s just me and this doe.Ā 
I drop her into the mud and loosen my shirt, gasping for air. I want cold, I want crisp mountain air; not this thick, humid, barely-air that clogs my throat and makes my lungs heavy.Ā 
I dig my fingers into the mud and grass, as I would have done in the snow, back home. Home. What a weird thought. I catch the dead doeā€™s eye again, and thatā€™s when the tears come, thick and hot and nasty, blurring my vision. So stupid, I think, as I force myself to stare at her. She- no, it- is just an animal. She doesnā€™t have a home, not the way I did. Do.Ā 
I think of crying out for help, but thatā€™s pathetic, and Iā€™m a lot of things, but pathetic ainā€™t one of them.Ā 
I think I stay there, on my knees, fingers deep in the mud, for a long time- when my vision clears again and Iā€™ve stopped gasping for air, the sky is clear, clear blue, no traces of sunrise left. If I focus hard enough on it, I can almost pretend Iā€™m back in the mountains.Ā 
I get up, teeth digging into my tongue to prevent any new feelings from resurfacing. Iā€™m not in the goddamn mountains. All thatā€™s left for me there is two frozen bodies deep beneath the snow, and a hut thatā€™s probably been raided or taken over by some other gang.Ā 
I pick the doe up, this time careful to avoid looking at her face. Its face. Itā€™s an animal, not my goddamn sister.Ā 
I make it back to my horse without another incident; strap the doe across his back and climb onto his saddle. His name is Coal, ā€˜cause of the colour oā€™ him- black and charcoal grey, a streak of white down his face.Ā 
ā€œHey, boy,ā€ I murmur to him as I flick the reigns. My voice is shaky, hoarse; itā€™s obvious that Iā€™ve been crying.Ā 
Coal begins to trot back to camp. I think of changing direction, of going to Rhodes, clear my thoughts. But I gotta bring this back to Pearson, or heā€™ll skin me.Ā 
The camp is still there when I return, which is a relief. I donā€™t think Iā€™ll forget the moment when I came back after a hunt and found everyone gone, everything burned to the ground.Ā 
I shiver at the memory and get off Coal. ā€œIā€™ll come ā€˜nd fix your saddle later,ā€ I say to him, scratching his neck. He grunts, in a tone I hope is affectionate. I remove the doe, put her back over my shoulder. Make it to Pearsonā€™s stand, where heā€™s angrily chopping vegetables.Ā 
ā€œHey,ā€ I say, dropping the doe in front of him. I angle her head- her eyes- away from me. ā€œGot some meat.ā€Ā 
ā€œI can see that,ā€ is Pearsonā€™s kind answer.Ā 
I ignore him and walk away again, into the derelict house weā€™ve been callinā€™ home for the last few weeks. My room is on the top floor; I wish I shared it with someone, but I got lucky (Dutchā€™s words) and got my own, private room.Ā 
I tug off my bloodstained shirt and drop it on the floor. Thereā€™s nothinā€™ to be done about my trousers- theyā€™re the only pair Iā€™ve got (the others have just been washed, and hang soaking wet outside) and I donā€™t plan on walking around bare-legged.Ā 
I change quickly. Sit down on the bed, stare at the wall.Ā 
I donā€™t know how long I stay like that; starinā€™ at the peeling wallpaper, trying to pretend itā€™s the same white as the snow I used to see out my window. Obviously, the pretendinā€™ donā€™t work, because itā€™s not the snow, itā€™s a crumbling fuckinā€™ wall in a crumbling fuckinā€™ house. I stand, take a deep breath in (of hot, hot, humid, thick air), push it out. It ainā€™t cleansing- I donā€™t feel better once Iā€™ve tasted the surrounding bogs- but itā€™s enough to calm my heartbeat, and make me feel somewhat human again.Ā 
For the rest of the day, I help around camp, doing stupid, mind-numbing tasks. I try not to think of the mountains, and how much better than this godforsaken swamp they were. People talk to me, and I answer, polite and all. I eat Pearsonā€™s stew, listen to another grandiose speech about Dutchā€™s plan (or, as far as Iā€™m concerned, concepts of a plan). I finally find a moment of quiet sitting on a log, staring out at the swamp. Not the prettiest sight; all brown and green, with hints of yellow dust.Ā 
Iā€™m alone for only a few minutes before I hear footsteps. I turn, and find Arthur approaching, taking his cigarette packet from his satchel. I shift on the log Iā€™m sitting on, making the split second decision that his company is something I want right now.Ā 
He sits next to me, silently. Offers me a cigarette (I decline with a shake of my head and a wave of my hand) then lights his own with a match. He stays quiet for a little while, blowing smoke from his mouth, tinting the world blue and grey.Ā 
Itā€™s strange, sitting next to him. He donā€™t mind being quiet; seems to like my company well enough, ā€˜cause he keeps coming back here to smoke.Ā 
Heā€™s the one who found me, all that time ago, on a solo hunt in the Grizzlies. It was at the edge of the mountains, where it starts to get warmer; where the sun melts away most of the snow. Was from Blackwater, he said- I asked if I could go back with him. Promised Iā€™d leave ā€˜em all alone when I got there, I just needed a job, as far from my daddyā€™s corpse as I could get. Heā€™d said yes, maybe reluctantly.Ā 
Turns out, Iā€™d found somethin' better than a job. Not quite a family, but a gang, people to rely on, people to distract me from the emptiness created by my fatherā€™s death. I suppose itā€™s these people keeping me here, in this swampy nowhere, sweating my socks off. Here, Iā€™ve got people- back in the mountains, Iā€™ve got two dead bodies and an empty house.Ā 
My chest tightens again, and wordlessly, I take the cigarette from Arthurā€™s hand, take a long drag. I hand it back, still silent, and dig my fingernails into my knuckles.Ā 
ā€œYou miss home?ā€ Arthur asks me, his words marked by the smoke curling from his mouth. I take the cigarette from his fingers again, press it between my teeth, inhale ā€˜till I can blame the burning in my eyes on the smoking rather than whatever has grabbed hold of me; whatever old, buried feeling Iā€™d thought long gone had chosen to make an appearance. Guess it must be more obvious than I thought, that Iā€™m feelinā€™ odd, ā€˜cause he clearly smelled it on me.Ā 
ā€œI donā€™t know, I guess,ā€ I say, softly, fiddling with the dirty fabric of my trousers as I hand the cigarette back; as if I donā€™t know the answer, as if I havenā€™t spent half my goddamn life thinking about this. I exhale, blowing out smoke from my nose.Ā  ā€œNever really thought about it.ā€ The lie burns in my throat, so thick I can hardly breathe.Ā 
Itā€™s not the stability that I miss. The weather in the Grizzlies was nothinā€™ permanent, not in any sense- one minute itā€™s a blizzard, the next youā€™re standing staring at the bright blue sky, knee deep in snow. I guess itā€™s the wolves howling, itā€™s the comfort of a fire as wind rattles against the window panes; itā€™s even the way the stars look after three days holed up inside. Thereā€™s no one thing I miss or donā€™t miss- I just know I miss it, so much that my chest tightens at the thought.Ā 
When my daddy got shot, three- no, four- years ago, I thought the one answer was to leave that place behind; pack up my clothes and go out into the Wild Wild West, make my own future away from the smell of his freshly dug grave, right next to my mamaā€™s frozen bones. And when I came across Arthur, and later his gang of gung-ho outlaws, who seemed ready to take on the world, I thought that was it- my life was set.Ā 
But I donā€™t like the constant moving like I used to. It donā€™t feel like adventure anymore; it feels like escaping, like weā€™re always running from something.Ā 
ā€œI donā€™tā€¦ā€ I hesitate, reach up to dig my nails into the dip of my collarbone, try to dig the feeling out, hold it up to the light to examine it. ā€œI guess itā€™s different.ā€ A veiled confession. Away from the Grizzlies (away from home) itā€™s hot, stiflingly so; I canā€™t climb onto my horse without breaking a sweat. Itā€™s already too warm by the time the sun rises- clothes sticking to your skin uncomfortably, flies buzzing above, drowning in the smell of swampy nothingness as soon as your eyes open. I donā€™t hate it- it has become familiar, but familiar in the way the weight of a revolver at my hip has become familiar; the way the constant paranoia that clogs my throat has become familiar.Ā 
ā€œDifferent how?ā€Ā 
Another pause, as I scuff the yellow dust ground with the toe of my boot. Different in a whole lotta ways, I want to tell him; even the colour of the sky isnā€™t quite the same back home.Ā 
Home. I think of the snow as I stare at the yellowed leather of my shoes. Where thereā€™s snow and wolves and no people to shoot at you unless you really look for it.Ā 
ā€œI donā€™t know,ā€ I say, even though my whole body knows; it courses through me, the knowledge that a few days ride away is the mountains, and the snow. ā€œIt just is.ā€
The answer dissatisfies him, I think. ā€œCā€™mon,ā€ he says in that gruff voice of his. ā€œYou gotta be able to find one difference between here and the goddamn Grizzlies.ā€Ā 
ā€œā€™S warmer,ā€ I say, the words followed by a short, slightly forced laugh. ā€œDonā€™t snow as much.ā€Ā 
He snorts, shaking his head. ā€œAlright,ā€ he responds, maybe a little condescendingly. ā€œThink oā€™ anything else?ā€Ā 
ā€œYou got less wolves down here,ā€ I add, after a few moments. I donā€™t say that I miss the sound of them howling; that when I close my eyes, I try to picture it, try to pretend Iā€™m back there instead of here.Ā 
ā€œAlright.ā€ He says it kinder this time, like weā€™re getting somewhere.Ā 
ā€œThe sky looks different.ā€ I dig my fingers in deeper. He offers me the cigarette; I take it, repurpose the burning in my throat. The smoke flickers around me as I exhale. ā€œItā€™s- clearer, up there. More blue.ā€ Here, the sky is tinted almost yellow. It ainā€™t ugly, but it ainā€™t home.Ā 
He doesnā€™t answer, now, staring out at the swamps. I donā€™t know how he feels about this place- about Rhodes, and the foreignness of Saint Denis, with its factories and smoke and cobbled roads. I wonder if he misses home- if he ever had one to begin with. ā€œI guess I do miss it,ā€ I say, to fill the silence more than anything. ā€œButā€¦ I donā€™t know, I donā€™t think I wanna go back.ā€ Alone is the word I donā€™t add. I think- maybe- if I had the gang, my new family, Iā€™d go back to the Grizzlies. After we escaped Blackwater, and hid out in that abandoned town up in the mountains; that was the happiest Iā€™d been for a long time.Ā 
But alone isnā€™t something I want to be. Not the way I was alone, the few weeks after my father passed- just me and the freshly dug grave, me and the wolves, me and the gun that killed him, sittinā€™ on the table, an unwanted temptation.Ā 
ā€œI donā€™t wanna be alone again.ā€ It comes out soft, hoarse, pathetic, the words grating in my throat, like sandpaper on my tongue.Ā 
Itā€™s true. Yes, home is in the mountains; I know that now, when my chest clenches at the simple thought of the snow. But home is also with these people- with Arthur, and Mary-Beth, and Pearson, and the rest of them. Hell, even Kieran, the Oā€™Driscoll boy, has become home, in a way. Home is not just the place where I grew up (the place where my daddy now lies); home is also the people that have become my family; who have embraced me so kindly and warmly. I know deep in my stomach that if I were to leave now, take a horse back to the hut, Iā€™d end up like my daddy, a bullet in my head and a gun in my hand.Ā 
He did it ā€˜cause he was lonely. So lonely that even I wasnā€™t enough to stop him from pulling the trigger. Lived in the mountains his whole life, but he had my mama then, and his parents. I guess fifty years of snow and not much else can drive you insane.Ā 
My hand goes to my temple; I dig my fingers into the skin, right where I found the bullet in his head.Ā 
ā€œYā€™wonā€™t be,ā€ he responds gruffly. Heā€™s finished his cigarette, and yet heā€™s not made any attempt to get up, leave me with my thoughts. I snort, wipe my mouth with the back of my hand.Ā 
ā€œDonā€™t know that,ā€ I say. ā€œWith the Pinkertons on our asses, ā€˜nd all.ā€ Itā€™s meant to be lighthearted, but it comes out quiet, rough.Ā 
ā€œYeah, but theyā€™ve always been on our asses.ā€ He puts a hand on my leg; it engulfs my entire knee. ā€œTell you what.ā€ He hesitates, clearinā€™ his throat a little. Squeezes my knee. ā€œIā€™ll take you huntinā€™, once a week- or twice, or less, if you want.ā€Ā 
ā€œI go huntinā€™ anyway,ā€ I answer. ā€œNot in the mountains, yā€™donā€™t.ā€ My chest both tightens and loosens at the same time. I swallow; my heart is thumping in my chest. I put my hand to my collarbone again, digging my nails in. ā€œCā€™mon, itā€™ll do you good. Cold air and all that.ā€Ā 
I know thereā€™s a deeper meaning to that. Cold air- heā€™s giving me the chance to go home, and not by myself. Even if itā€™s not for long, itā€™s enough- to feel the snow again, to hear the wolves. Maybe once Iā€™ll camp overnight, ride back to camp in the morning. The idea fills me with hope- a feeling weā€™re all starved of, these days.Ā 
ā€œReally?ā€ Is all I manage to croak out.Ā 
ā€œWhat, you donā€™t wanna?ā€
I laugh, and itā€™s genuine this time. ā€œNo, I- I wanna.ā€
ā€œAlright then.ā€ He gives my knee a last squeeze, then stands. I stand with him, smooth my shirt with the flat of my hand. ā€œTomorrow then?ā€ Tomorrow. Tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow. Iā€™d sing, if my throat werenā€™t so damn tight. My eyes sting, and I wipe at my nose with my hand.Ā 
ā€œThank you,ā€ I say, quietly. He donā€™t respond, but he nods, and I think maybe he smiles a little.Ā 
Tomorrow. Tomorrow Iā€™ll get to take a piece of my new home to the place I grew up- someone I love, to the place that holds my heart.Ā 
I watch him walk away; and suddenly, the humidity donā€™t feel so bad anymore.Ā 
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mikuluvu Ā· 7 hours ago
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can you do Janitor!Jimmy and Nurse!Reader like they're both bullied by Anya Daisuke and Curly most of the time and they comfort eachother by midnight talks and tending eachothers wounds
A/n: This is the second time... Whats with the bullying stuff guys šŸ˜­ but I'll do these just to make you guys full and happy , mouthwash rlly did a great job šŸ˜¦ but srsly i hope ur ok -
Janitor!Jimmy x Nurse!Reader
The Tulpar was always quiet at midnight.
Jimmy leaned against the rusted railing outside the medbay, a cigarette dangling loosely from his lips. His jumpsuit was stained with grease and bloodā€”some his, some not. Heā€™d learned to stop distinguishing between the two.
ā€œYou shouldnā€™t be smoking in here,ā€ you said softly as you stepped out, clutching a first aid kit. Your uniform was crumpled, a dark stain smearing the corner of your sleeve where someone had grabbed you too hard earlier.
Jimmy exhaled a thin stream of smoke, his tired eyes flicking to you. ā€œDonā€™t worry, Pretty sure a second-hand smokeā€™s the least of our problems.ā€
You sighed and set the kit down on a crate beside him. ā€œLet me see.ā€
ā€œSee what?ā€
ā€œThe cut on your cheek. I noticed it earlier when Curly shoved you out of the cockpit.ā€
Jimmy flinched at the memory, his jaw tightening. ā€œItā€™s fine.ā€
ā€œItā€™s not,ā€ you said firmly, stepping closer. ā€œPlease.ā€
After a long silence, Jimmy flicked the cigarette away and tilted his head slightly, letting you inspect the angry red gash on his cheekbone. Your touch was gentle, your hands steady even though your sleeves still trembled with exhaustion.
ā€œRough day?ā€ he asked, breaking the silence.
You gave him a weak smile. ā€œThey cornered me again during lunch. Anya said Iā€™m ā€˜useless dead weight.ā€™ Daisuke laughed. Curly... just watched.ā€
Jimmyā€™s lips pressed into a thin line. ā€œTheyā€™re all bastards.ā€
ā€œYeah,ā€ you whispered.
For a moment, the two of you stayed like thatā€”him leaning against the railing, you carefully dabbing antiseptic onto his wound. It stung, but Jimmy didnā€™t flinch.
ā€œWhy do you think they do it?ā€ you asked quietly.
Jimmy let out a breathless laugh, dry and bitter. ā€œBecause theyā€™re scared. Weak people hurt others so they donā€™t feel weak themselves. Itā€™s pathetic.ā€
You nodded, your fingers lingering against his skin before pulling back. ā€œAll done.ā€
Jimmy studied you, his tired eyes softer now. ā€œYou should get some sleep.ā€
You gave a faint shake of your head. ā€œCould say the same to you"
His lips twitched into a ghost of a smile.
ā€œCā€™mon,ā€ you said, grabbing the first aid kit and motioning with your head. ā€œLetā€™s go to the storage bay. Thereā€™s an old blanket and a broken radio. Better than sitting out here.ā€
Jimmy hesitated before falling into step beside you. The Tulpar was dark as you walked together, your footsteps echoing through empty corridors.
The storage bay was cluttered with crates and dimly lit by a single flickering lightbulb. You dropped the first aid kit onto an overturned box and sat down on an old blanket spread over cold metal. Jimmy lowered himself beside you with a heavy sigh.
For a while, neither of you spoke. You just sat there, side by side, sharing the same fragile silence.
ā€œYou ever think about leaving?ā€ Jimmy asked suddenly, his voice low.
ā€œLeaving the Tulpar?ā€ you asked.
ā€œYeah. Getting away from all this. Away from them.ā€
You thought about itā€”the idea of escaping, of breathing fresh air, of seeing sunlight instead of flickering LEDs. ā€œSometimes. But where would we go?ā€
ā€œAnywhere but here,ā€ Jimmy said, his voice cracking slightly.
You leaned your head on his shoulder, your exhaustion outweighing your hesitation. ā€œIf we ever get out of this... weā€™ll figure it out. Together.ā€
Jimmy froze for a moment before relaxing under your touch. His voice was barely above a whisper when he replied, ā€œYeah... together.ā€
Outside the storage bay, Curly barked orders while Anya and Daisuke laughed at someone elseā€™s expense. But in this small corner of the ship, beneath the flickering light, you both just sat there together...
THNKS FOR READING!! REBLOGS W/COMMENTS IS APPRECIATED !! YOU CAN SUPPORT ME THROUGH MY KO-FI
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swee7dream Ā· 2 days ago
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dreamies as manhwa characters š“Æš“‚ƒš“§ā™”
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genres miscellaneous + headcanons triggers one mention of gagging (?) just to be safe . note purely for myself . i have no one to talk to about my 300+ reading list of shoujo manga/manhwa so you all get this .
mark lee (į“€ā€øį“‚)
saebom from no office romance !
is it really mark lee-coded if itā€™s not (childhood) friends-to-lovers? exactly.
saebom and mark are walking green flags full of reasonable expectations, goofy mannerisms, and encouraging words even if it will not result in the best outcome for them personally
everyone loves them, itā€™s impossible to hate them!
even when their jokes are pity laugh-worthy with their loud barfing sounds and accidentally guilt-tripping gags
they mess up as all humans do but they always do their best to fix it as soon as possible to minimize damage.
theyā€™re considerate of others but also (rightfully) proud of their work and arenā€™t shy to display it when the time is right. hashtag stream fraktsiya
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huang renjun ą«® Ė™ā°™Ė™ įƒ
cheol from after school lessons for unripe apples !
obviously iā€™m not thinking physically when i consider them similar.
but on the inside. on the insideā€¦ they are one.
they arenā€™t too open about their feelings. sometimes it feels like they donā€™t understand them themselves. and so they have a thin veil of mystique around them
itā€™s just nerves
theyā€™re both just nervous guys who feel the need to protect everything at all times while also trying to hold back because, why should they? thatā€™s not their job. theyā€™re not getting paid for this.
but itā€™s just such an innate action on their part they just canā€™t help themselves !
they are responsible individuals who are just chaos magnets.
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lee jeno ą«® .ā—œā—”ā—įƒ
zachary from a marriage of convenience !
men of little words. men ofā€¦ easily misunderstandable words.
weā€™re not going to go into zacharyā€™s story because if you havenā€™t read marriage of convenience i am on my knees begging you to
itā€™s easy to write them off as tsuns, especially with the way jeno treats jisung, but theyā€™re NOT
they are such big lovers they will move heaven and earth for their loved ones and still be understanding if you ask for something else or more, even
they are well aware of their grand accomplishments, but also keep their eye fixed on their loved onesā€™ expectations, always making room for improvement
alsoā€¦ great physiques GUYS WHO SAID THAT TUMBLR BLOG SWEE7DREAM GOT HACKED GET THE NEWS REPORTERS
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lee donghyuck Ź•Ė™ā°™Ė™ā€§:Ź”
kevin from spirit fingers !
specifically, more last arc kevin.
theyā€™re silly, theyā€™re clingy, they love their partner !!!!!!
the banter is always next level with them yet so are the dramatics and sulking.
their confidence is just attractive whether its romantic, platonic, whatever !
they know that no matter what they wear or if they have makeup on or not, their pretty privilege will cancel out the fact that thereā€™s toilet paper clinging to the bottom of their shoes
their positivity is like a purifying beam to the people around them. their kind words and actions are done with the purpose to uplift the people around them.
you canā€™t have a low self-esteem around them, they are professional cheerleaders! hypemen! supporters!
how could you not love them?
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na jaemin ą¬˜(ą©­ĖŠįµ•Ė‹)ą©­
camute from the crowā€™s prince !
i was originally gonna put tamaki from ohshc but thatā€™s like saying the sky is blue. we all know that, why beat a dead horse?
so, camute it is !
first of all, blond. they both eat up the hair color. blueprinted, invented, copywritten !
that aside, they are so open in communication itā€™s like you just got hit in the eyeball with a neobong with how much of a green flag they both are.
they wonā€™t make you say anything you donā€™t want to say in the moment, but will make sure to get the point across that they expect to have a conversation about the subject in the near future because YOU ARE IMPORTANT TO THEM.
theyā€™re also highly protective to the point itā€™s SILLAY. theyā€™re a sulky kind of jealous not a ā€˜i will lock you up in a basement in an abandoned mansion on the top of a remote mountain for making eye contact with Frank From Workā€™ kind of jealous
jaemin on bblā€¦ ā€˜my bag is heavy :(ā€™ ā€˜oh ur gonna help me? WRONG ANSWER. NEVER TRUST ANY MAN.ā€™
so true king šŸ’Æ
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zhong chenle (įƟļøæįƏ)
kahir from iā€™m the tyrantā€™s secretary !
ā€˜you love me? duh, of course you do.ā€™
very positive self-perception. nothing can tear this man down. except you, even though heā€™ll act otherwise.
has a different standard than everyone else from clothes and technology to relationships. to them, itā€™s easy to act as if money is no object, instead placing more effort into the people that they care about.
their thoughtful gifts are sometimes extravagant to the eyes of anyone aside from themselves, but they really have a different standard of what is considered acceptable, especially if it is something that is going to belong to their loved ones.
donā€™t you realize how their gifts are also a reflection of themselves? how could they gift anything less than perfect????
quick to cut out anyone that could even be THOUGHT of as a bad influence around their people, and theyā€™ve already warned and cut ties with the person for the simple claim of Bad Vibes (theyā€™re right most of the time itā€™s actually creepy)
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park jisung (āˆ©ĖƒoĖ‚āˆ©)
nadrika from i have fallen into a reverse harem game !
theyā€™re just so soggy wet dog coded
jisung is a five-time loser of the modern public ridicule that is awsaz. you can tell him to do anything and he will, red-faced and sighing the entire time, but heā€™ll do it
there is just something so ā€˜aww :(ā€™ about him that makes the people around him go ā€˜I WILL PROTECT YOUā€™ at their 5ā€™11 height
theyā€™re either in their own little world, thinking about what life would be like if they lived in saturn rather than earth, or staring at you like painted each star that dots the night sky as you speak
they do not think twice before sacrificing their pride and reputation for the sake of their loved ones (even if it is not asked of them), too shy to ask for but also too obvious to hide the fact they are expecting praise and affection in return
soggy wet dogs that are like 300 pounds but still want to be treated like lap dogs
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rabbitofharmony Ā· 9 months ago
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blueskittlesart Ā· 9 months ago
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deeply refreshing to see someone critical of Swift who also like, genuinely likes her. Like i'm neutral to positive on her, but the online discourse has been absolutely rancid. flipping between "Taylor Swift has never done anything wrong ever and she's a fucking genius" and "Taylor Swift is the worst lyricist of all time and also a bad person" is exhausting, so thank you for like. nuance or something lmao
not to make it serious for a sec but i genuinely think that being able to like things that are bad is really important. like I think that it's an important skill to be able to look at something and see what you personally enjoy about it and then take a step back and acknowledge that objectively it's flawed. and to also be able to acknowledge that liking something isn't necessarily an identity or a moral stance. and i think that fandom space in general could really benefit from more people taking the time to learn how to do that. it's okay to like things that are bad
#people ask me sometimes why ill occasionally talk about something i like and then go 'but it's bad' and the answer is usually because it is#i love teen wolf. i love genshin impact. i love detective conan. and i fucking LOVE taylor swift. that doesnt mean theyre good#it just means i like them. and recognizing their flaws actually helps me better identify what i like about them!#it's like. in my mind bad > good is the x axis and i like it > i dont like it is the y axis yk. they're not mutually exclusive#tldr it's not that serious. we can all relax a little#irt taylor swift i do also think she has done some real harm to her fans in enabling them to deflect all criticism of her as misogyny#and i don't think it's fully the fault of these people who are parroting that response bc so much of her marketing has deliberately#reinforced this idea that to be a swiftie is to be a part of a sisterhood and that any attack on taylor is an attack on all of those women#who are in that in-group. when that's obviously not the case. but she's marketed herself as. for lack of a better term. 'girl music'#to the point where it makes her fans feel as though any criticism of the music or the woman responsible for it is an attack on their#personal experience of womanhood/girlhood/sisterhood/etc. and that's how you get all of thess bad-faith accusations of misogyny#i don't necessarily think this was her deliberate goal with her marketing tho because like. on first glance such a strong sense of communit#among fans sounds like a great thing. the friendship bracelets i got at the eras tour movie are really genuinely special to me.#but it does present a problem when your fans are unable to separate how they feel about the community and experience your music has fostere#from how they feel about you as a person. especially when you are a billionaire who absolutely CANNOT be above criticism in this economy#anyway. tldr i love taylor's music and i don't think swiftie hivemind is as deliberately malicious as it may seem#but it's obviously necessary to be able to take a step back and look objectively at what you're participating in.#anyway stream ttpd or don't idc <3#taylor swift
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ahalliance Ā· 2 months ago
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American-validated Frenchge šŸ„–
transcript below
[Video Transcript begins:
[Video starts mid-sentence]
Etoiles: ā€”and you put this faceā€” next to the camera! Like this!
Foolish: (laughing) Youā€™re so French!
Etoiles: Iā€™m so French, thatā€™s my main problem. Like Iā€™m so French, I try sometimes to nerf myself and be like, less French
Etoiles: But that feels good to hear this because you say Iā€™m so French and like, some racist people in France think Iā€™m not because Iā€™m Arabic too, soā€”
Foolish: Ohhhh
Etoiles: ā€”that feels good too, you know
Foolish: No dude, you seem like a French ass French personā€”
Etoiles: (laughing)
Foolish: I donā€™t know how else to put it. Simply put
Etoiles: That feels good, man. I was saying hello to Tarik and all his chat was saying like Frenchge, the emote they are puttingā€”
Foolish: Oh yeah
Etoiles: ā€”the emote they are putting. Yeah, yeah, yeah
Video Transcript ends.]
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shannonsketches Ā· 5 months ago
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something something foils moving in opposite directions Goku's always happy to seek and fight stronger opponents because he spent most of his life being the strongest guy in the room and Vegeta wants to be the strongest/is always exhausted to find stronger opponents because he spent most of his life having to navigate his survival around the whims of the strongest guy in the universe room and so Goku has a foundation of safety and stability and so spends his time craving challenge and adventure and Vegeta has a foundation of challenge and adventure and spends his time craving safety and stability and the overlaid section of their venn diagram is that the only way they know how acquire and maintain those things is through battle
#thank you this has been the laziest media analysis post of my career#dbtag#media analysis#something something a game to goku is a threat to vegeta etc#there's a pinned thought here about how Vegeta also didn't learn about the dragon balls until he was ?? 30?? and so all loss is permanent#and goku has been familiar since he was ~12 and hasn't faced a permanent consequence since he was 10 years old and even then he got closure#sometimes I think about how Vegeta saw Trunks die and how Krillin was mad at him for reacting since they could fix it with the dragon balls#but Vegeta has very limited experience with the dragon so to him in that moment that was permanent and Trunks was Dead. Forever.#And we talked before in a 2am post about Vegeta having never experienced grief born of love and I stand by it because his feelings then wer#still very new and very odd and not something he'd accepted until that moment so it was raw power but not as powerful as it could've been#all this to say in my heart of hearts I think Vegeta deserves to retire at the end of super (if super continues) -- not as a warrior#but as an infantryman. he's a prince and now he's got his domain and his family and his planet to look after and I think he deserves#to go home and stay home and help piccolo bully gohan into training more often when goku inevitably leaves to hop the multiverse#geets wanted to take a sabbatical when Bulla was born but didn't get the chance because Freeza coming back freaked him out too much#but whether freeza gets a redemption arc or gets defeated -- Granolah's arc seemed to shift his perspective on being the strongest#and I just grips fist I just think it would be a really nice full circle for Vegeta to inherit his throne in a way he never expected and#finally get his kingdom to look after and protect in the way that he was looking forward to being king of his own planet all those years ag#Goku's got Broly and Jiren and Hit and all the others to keep him busy and happy now -- and if Freeza gets a redemption arc he'll probably#continue playing slap-ass with Goku for the rest of his life -- and Vegeta's got Gohan and Piccolo and Goten and Trunks#I just think them getting a nice bittersweet 'This is where we part ways' would be really nice for both of them because !!#They couldn't have done this without each other. They couldn't have known this kind of life was possible without each other.#So they swap lots and live happier than they ever imagined they could be#especially since Vegeta has proved to himself that he can close any gap Goku creates in progress that's not a concern anymore#And obvs the door's always open!! There's no point closing it Vegeta's tried the locks they don't work on Goku#anyway here's me putting the whole essay in the tags again#this isn't an essay as much as it is stream of consciousness tag blogging#anyway i'm too lazy to write fic or draw comics so we get ramblings instead
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gumm1defloor Ā· 9 months ago
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Personally speaking if I had to pick one rairpair out of the entire hellaverse to become canon it would be Velvette x Verosica but man it is going to be the most lavish, fluffy, intensely intimate, passionate, rancid & disastrous 24/7 trending full blown shitstorm hell has ever seen I don't think anyone is going to be ready. Not even these two. Dear god especially not these two.
Man Verosica is just 2 for 1 on short gremlin kings who are also coincidentally emotionally constipated walking talking sacks of untreated mental illness wrapped up in 3 layers of intimacy issues isn't she but hey at least this one's pretty much guaranteed never to steal your credit card for horse riding lessons and most definitely won't be caught one ring down in wrath in the middle of fuck knows where with said credit card so.... yay improvement?
#and unlike the last one - they don't talk about the last one -#She likes how effortlessly confident Velvette is with everything she works with and how little she has to worry about their relationship#when she's around her#ofc the gradual loss of autonomy and general sense of self is a whole other thing and she definitely doesn't need to think about it ever-#-cause her stunningly hot drop-dead gorgeous filthy rich and famous girlfriend just designed her 10 new fashion lines for her new tour-#-without her even asking-#-and they're gonna live stream the best date she's ever going to have in the fanciest restaurant the pride rings has to offer.#she's never felt this adored & safe & content in satin knows how long she is getting herself trashed every other saturday and STILL#manages to look flawless for every magazine by morning#& Velvette tells her they look so hot together every time they take a selfie as she pulls her waist & face & hair & neck into her side#like she's ready to swallow her whole#they spoil each other with gifts & praises and shit talking ppl behind their back#and absolutely nothing between them ever went wrong#hazbin hotel shitposts#helluva boss#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel velvette#I remember having a headcannon that Velvette sends every single girl/boyfriend(toy) she has ever had to Valentino after she dumps them.#sometimes she'll even throw in a personal recommendation#Velvette is dead quiet about the breakup this time around#Valentino - for once in his life- knows better to ask#Verosika never came to pentegram city to do live shows since#angst#I suppose#which is probably all my 2 neurons are good for past 9 pm
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crescentfool Ā· 2 years ago
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ohh the joy of videos and streams... i like listening to people talk about things they like/think about itā€™s very contagious... šŸ„ŗ
#lizzy speaks#THIS IS BROUGHT TO U BY THE MINATO BRAINCELLS SHAKING BACK AND FORTH..#so so many of my interests feel like they're in some kind of hibernation lately in terms of the emotions they evoke#my brains been mostly gravitating towards formulating strategies and trying new things in splatoon right now... LOL.. so i havent thought-#a whole bunch about other things i like even if they do mean a lot to me..#so i really appreciate being around other people who really like the things that they like because its infectious and reminds me why-#i enjoy those characters / ships / whatever else#like oh... ryomina.. minato.. ryoji... i love them very much and i like hearing other people express their appreciation for them#also yosuke.... i like hearing my friends talk about yosuke his characters a very fun one for me even if i never took the time 2 personally#analyze him its just very nice to be around that kind of energy! im so grateful!#related but unrelated squid school made a video about the splatoon manga... which i havent thought abt in a month or two#yet somehow watching that revitalized my sleeping lil braincell that loves vintage coroika...#IDK i just feel like lately ive gotten to be around a very contagious positive energy of people who appreciate stuff and i like that!!#mayb ill stream again... something about talking about things out loud and not over text evokes a certain kind of insanity#i like to draw to express my love 4 the things i've come across but sometimes i think too much abt the quality.. LOL#so maybe ill just go FUCK IT we ball!! better to draw than to not draw at all. or ill just stream 2 outlet the 'hehe i love so many things'#there is so much love stored in my heart it hurts i lov So many Things and I love Being reminded of that god i love people loving things!!!
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miabrown007 Ā· 2 years ago
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a minute of silence to my skills to estimate how long a project is ever going to take
#my google calendar and Carl bot (and my friends) have been kind enough to inform me today was the estimated posting date of heist au#suffice to say that is not happening#it would have been rad to make a habit out of the co-occurrence of starting a new job and starting to post a finished WIP but alas#that will not be happening for a while longer#I have no idea when will I find the time for writing between two jobs and the big bang but. we'll work something out.#but hey it's good to give your projects breathing space so your brain can do the work in the background and solve the problems for you#I'll probably need to go back and revamp the whole last chapter I've been working on#but I'm still too sick and jet lagged and sick to be thinking about that so I'll consume some more media in the meantime#and complain about how bad the fic I'm listening to is. like god it's supposed to be so romantic and cute and he's literally#depriving her bodily autonomy and her friends support him I want to leave a strongly worded comment so bad#I will not be doing that but god it's so awful I should have stopped listening to this fic long ago. so that's a lesson learned.#put the fucking fic down there's plenty of stuff that's going to be better#hot take I sure no one saw coming sometimes things that are popular are actually bad#anyway have some stream of fucking consciousness /ref to another fic I'm fighting hard to keep discontinued#I know I won't like it why is this so hard#heist au should have been posted today based on maths btw. maths I did wrong for the first time which means it should have been posted#a year ago really#not like I have the proper structure to do a heist au daily#but it would have been fun to post the first chapter on the exact day it takes place. idk just for flavour#does all this make any sense? hardly. this is a diary entry and my two braincells are firing random thoughts at each other#that's fine though. it's all fine. here have some popcorn to go with all this nonsense šŸæšŸæšŸæ <3#(and also all the drama in the new shadow and bone season. ugh it's so good I love Wesper SO. MUCH. or just Waylan. and Nikolai.#he's my blorbo assigned at first relevant information. relavant information: he's my friend's blorbo#but gods he's so my type it's scary. of course I'll have him as my blorbo. of course of course!#*puts him on a shelf next to Adrien Draco and Hunter*#*steps back to think before putting Waylan there too and sitting Zuko on the far end*#war crimes look so good on them :3#miaing#heist au
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kellystar321 Ā· 1 year ago
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#periodical life updates#(<- NUMBER 3!!!) I FINISHED THE ANIMATION AND EVERYTHING FOR THAT PROJECT AND SENT IT OFF! super excited!!#it looks really cute! i tried my best and im mostly satisfied of where i landed <33#it's my little sibling's birthday today!! it's also the first official meeting of lgbt club!! (the other event was a fun lgbt mixer)#my backpack smells bad. like mildew or mold maybe? urgh its awful and gives me a headache. i might need a new one. i dont know. urghhh.#my programming homework is due today!! yike!! but other than that my personal projects with deadlines are all done!#INIQUITY NOW THAT YOU HAVE TIME ARE YOU FINALLY GONNA WORK ON YOUR SELF SHIP BLOG?? YES!! HOPEFULLY!!#truthfully i /have/ been working on it on the side. it looks decent but the colors;;; i have always been pretty sht at color picking?#i can adjust with filters but without that im like. a little not good yet lmao. gotta do some studies sometime perhaps#BUT YAY EXCITED!! ive got some rambles and doodles and a tag system and f/o info which is extremely cumbersome (affectionate)!!#also i have new fandom ocs for the latest dimension 20 campaign and im so delighted heho <33 this campaign is literally so fun.#im watching it with my sibling when its done!! OOH ALSO I FIGURED OUT HOW TO PNGTUBE AND i will likely never use it BUT COOL!!#i dont like. talk. lmao. my art streams are 1) silent 2) rare 3) only shared with my siblings. pngtuber is a little useless. but CUTE!!#i got boba tea yesterday!! sandy bought it :3 <3 and we're having pho and cheesecake later and i might plan out a little excursion today?#like i might get a treatsie. OR i'll just sit on campus as usual and get a mango smoothie and draw for a while (or work on homework.)#(lets be honest its likely the former. i might get a little back into traditional? ooh or maybe i'll practice my asl?) HEY THOUGH.#ive been thinking about making a henrey stickmn (ask)blog to practice asl? like. no plot. just henry teaching ellie and charles asl#really funny considering my Real concept of an askblog for THSC. not ace or eca; but a secret third thing (ā›Ž) ;)#then again since when have i EVER followed through on an askblog lmao?? damb im all over the place today. we're already hitting tag limit#okay!! 3 AM!! if im going early tomorrow i gotta eep! goodnight everyone i love you!! see you tomorrow if i have the energy and time!!
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risingsunresistance Ā· 2 years ago
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if we're mutuals and i unfollow suddenly and you happen to take notice of it, please do not take it personally i still love my friends n whatnot i am just. getting very tired and need to cut down the mcyt content on my dash
and if i unfollow and refollow a couple times that is just me testing the waters jdhfj idk what i wanna do man i just have to do something for my mental health
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