totallynotslothhh
totallynotslothhh
xanax girl
128 posts
really, i don’t know(requests are open)
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totallynotslothhh · 6 hours ago
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"just write a little every day" ok but what if i write nothing for 3 weeks and then suddenly type like i’m being hunted by god
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totallynotslothhh · 17 hours ago
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i havent posted in like a month so heres a joost photo dump
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totallynotslothhh · 17 hours ago
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hiii, when will under the skin be updated ヽ(♡‿♡)ノ ?
hiiii anon!!! probably this saturday!!
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totallynotslothhh · 18 hours ago
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ARGGHGGGGHGHH
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i love you joost in spongebob jacket
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totallynotslothhh · 18 hours ago
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In December 2025, I’ll be flying alone for the first time to go visit this stranger @saltsursplace , with whom I have ABSOLUTELY never listened to music, with whom I ABSOLUTELY don’t text every day, and who ABSOLUTELY hasn’t become my best friend.
Do you think they’re a middle aged man? Should I be scared?
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totallynotslothhh · 1 day ago
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ugh.
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totallynotslothhh · 1 day ago
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unfortunately i am thinking about calling him a filthy dog
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totallynotslothhh · 1 day ago
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no more bullshit, no more jokes, no more summer depression. I’m publishing a one shot by the end of this week. Bye.
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totallynotslothhh · 2 days ago
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So deep guys, best writer ever🙏... guys- she made me cry...I'm going to stop writing because I'm not like her SO DEEP.. SO GOOD 🙏
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G-guys I…. I wrote my first fanfic🥺🥺 pls tell me you like it🙏🥺
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totallynotslothhh · 3 days ago
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I slept from 3:00 to 11:00.
But I also slept from 13:24 to 16:40.
But… also from 16:45 to 18:22.
I have to fucking hibernate.
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totallynotslothhh · 4 days ago
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Something different from what I usually write, but I wanted to share it anyway. Let’s not talk about this.
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Inhale. Can you breathe?
Exhale. You can breathe.
Inhale. Your nostrils are clear.
Exhale. Your mouth is open.
Inhale. Exhale.
It’s an illusion, don’t you see? How many years have you had panic attacks? Four.
Four years and you still don’t understand that it’s all in your head.
It’s not true that you can’t breathe, it’s not true that your airways are blocked. The feeling of your lungs folding in on themselves, your chest tightening, that desperate gasp for air after realizing your eyes are flooded with tears and bloodshot - that isn’t real.
None of it is real. It’s your mind.
Your wounded mind slamming the emergency button whenever it can’t untangle the messy knot of all those colorful threads - your emotions.
Emotions you refuse to look at.
Look at them! You have to look at them!
What is it? What’s wrong with you? Why that weight on your chest? Why is your stomach clenched shut, and why the hell are you shaking now?
The cold bathroom floor won’t make you feel better. It won’t make you feel anything.
Inhale. Exhale.
Look at yourself in the mirror. Get up. Can't you feel the strength in your legs? Get up anyway. Your legs are there. They’re still attached. You haven’t lost them. You have all your limbs.
Inhale. Exhale.
The reflection in the mirror is screaming at you, but you’re too blind to recognize it. You’re too blind to see yourself.
Inhale. Exhale.
The cold water on your wrists; your lungs, once crumpled, are slowly unfolding again. Can you feel it? Can you feel the sensation? Of course you can… But do you recognize it? How many sensations are you able to feel?
Inhale. Exhale.
How did they tell you to do it? Five things you can see, four you can touch, three you can hear, two you can smell, and one you can taste.
Hmm…
Inhale. Exhale.
The blue toothbrush.
The half-empty mouthwash bottle next to it.
The deodorant on the windowsill beside the mirror.
The black hair clip that’s lost a few teeth over the years.
The white bathrobe hanging on the wall-mounted radiator.
It’s working, isn’t it? I can feel your heart slowing down.
Inhale. Exhale.
Reach out your hand. Grab. Touch.
The soft roughness of the towel you noticed earlier.
The little teeth of the comb.
The liquid soap on your hands.
The comforting sensation of warm water on your trembling skin.
Inhale. Exhale.
Hearing. Focus on hearing. Close your eyes.
The ticking of the rain against the metal bathroom shutter.
The splash of water in the sink and its quiet trickling sound.
The echo of my breathing in my ears.
Inhale. Exhale.
The scent of almond soap on my hands.
The smell of the perfume my mother wears.
Inhale. Exhale.
A taste? Imagine it. Try to imagine a taste.
The taste of the ice cream you had last night. Dark chocolate.
Why do you always end up getting dark chocolate and lemon? Can’t you try something different? Can’t you change?
The reflection in the mirror is also screaming at you that it wants to rest. The dark circles under your eyes are unbearable. The pale skin, the redness on your cheeks from rubbing away your tears with the fabric of your sweatshirt - they’re all signs.
Why don’t you want to change the situation?
Inhale. Exhale.
Why are you like this?
Inhale. Exhale.
Your heartbeat is back to normal, but cold water won’t wash away the marks your anxiety left on your face.
Inhale. Exhale.
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totallynotslothhh · 5 days ago
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totallynotslothhh · 7 days ago
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REAL ASF
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👁️👁️
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totallynotslothhh · 8 days ago
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i hate being a woman but i love it at the same time. i hate men but ugh damn. i hate human beings but i have to interact with them, in the end I love being social with others. i hate writing but i love it at the same time.
i hate not knowing how to express my feelings properly but i endlessly love being expansive, overwhelming and fragile.
i hate and love.
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totallynotslothhh · 8 days ago
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life is beautiful because Joost exists 🫠😩
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totallynotslothhh · 8 days ago
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I hate summer and late July identity crises
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totallynotslothhh · 9 days ago
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my bro will cheat on me
Gonna hang out with a dude tomorrow, wish me luck🤗
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