#find stuff and like I tell myself people can scroll past it or use the block button fi I annoy them

[asexualjedi]

Still so iconic of Matt fraction to start his run like anyways off screen Clint and Kate who have met a few times before this run have become besties and are fundamentally now intertwined characters. Like and that’s just canon now. I think more comic writers should be willing to kinda just decide a new status quo like that especially with characters that have been under utilized

[beddybites]

Do yiu have any tips on like how to attract more attention 😭 it's been a good while and it's a huge struggle of keeping motivation and not so amazing art so it's hard to sure my characters and their stories bc one thing a can say in confidence is I am a good writer I'd like to think, people tell me I have and oddly good but cryptic way of writing that keeps people enthralled, but my biggest struggle is getting them interested in the first place 😭

hi there!! i admittedly dont really know much about the world of writing and how to gain more attention there, but i can try to give tips and see what applies & sticks!

start off short & simple and build it up over time

if you start off with something big and complicated there will be more pressure to keep things big and complicated. theres nothing wrong with short and simple and mixing it up here & there (ie with art: if you only post full pieces with extravagant rendering people will keep expecting it. mix it up a bit. i try posting a variety of sketches and doodles and more detailed things— sometimes some things do better than others and thats ok!

it is 100% okay to repost/reblog your own work

if you ever see me spamming my blog with the same posts, its so i have it back on peoples feeds and on my main profile and its easier for people to find. its also likely that some ppl missed the post, and reblogging/reposting gives them the opportunity to see it!!

something something “its cringe and egotistical” WRONG!!!!!!!!!! its completely normal for creators to repost their content and it may help a lot!!

short & sweet descriptons

when you post, avoid giant paragraphs of text, especially if you’re including art in the post. people will be distracted and will see a giant post and just scroll past it

speaking of descriptions, try using trendy words and notable names

its kinda like hashtagging. if you look at my posts you’ll typically see how i will drop people’s full names + include the word “art” or “doodle” … this is because it will more likely show up on someones feed if said person looks up the same words.

ie: googling “muichiro tokito art” -> insert my post popping up because it has “muichiro tokito art” written out in the description

i admittedly have trouble providing tips as someone who doesnt rlly understand how i got noticed to begin with haha. something something imposter syndrome or whatever they call it these days… so im not really sure if anything above helps, but this is stuff i typically try to keep in mind when i post with the intent of trying to get people to see it

more importantly—

i know this is cheesy and this is easier said than done (i have this habit too a lot of the time) but numbers does not equal ur worth or talent. i know it isnt motivating and it can be so heartbreaking): but even if ur stuff doesnt get a lot of notoriety please know it doesnt define your value . this may sound like gibberish as it is 5 am as im posting this but truly… never give up on ur work!!! i promise u someone out there loves it

im more well known for my deaging & fluff content and to this day im rlly shocked it blew up the way it did. i really made it for myself. i came up with a whole alias and didnt plan on posting it anywhere bc i was so scared ppl would hate it and harass me or nobody would gaf. but eventually i was just like Man. if this thing helps me then maybe it can help someone out there too. and it helped provide ppl some joy & wonder and whimsy & made them feel seen and truly thats all i could ever want…

its difficult and its hard but i promise u… be patient and kind to yourself. it can definitely be hard sharing things around and getting that exposure you need but there are ways for sure. some journeys are faster than others and thats ok!

again sorry if this is all gibberish its super late ): but i hope this could help in some way shape or form

[writing-for-life]

Right, okay, I’ve thought long and hard whether to write this:

A squick (even a strong one) is not the same as a trigger.

Emotional discomfort, even emotional discomfort that leads to low-level physical symptoms like e.g. mild nausea, is not trauma. Unfortunately, TikTok pop psych has done nothing to help people understand the difference, because the trend to perceive (even strong) emotional discomfort as equivalent to a trauma response is worrying and neither helps people with nor without PTSD. I don’t wish it on anyone to actually find out the difference if they haven’t yet (disclaimer, since this is unfortunately necessary these days because everything gets misconstrued: I am not talking about individual experiences, because only you can know about those. I’m talking about wider trends in an often young audience with not enough background info to be able to tell apart sound medical/psychological info and viral BS created by “influencers” for some kind of personal gain).

What people in the current fandom spat want to have tagged as “triggers” are overwhelmingly squicks. And we’re probably all guilty of quickly saying “that triggered me”, myself included (and I’m a licensed psychotherapist, shame on me). It has become somewhat of a shorthand for “extremely annoyed or grossed out”. But when it gets used in the context of tagging, it’s good to remember that no one owes us a tag list the length of our arm just because we don’t like certain things. Even if we strongly dislike them.

And even on the occasion someone else’s yuck or yum is an actual trigger for us, it is impossible to cover for every possible trigger, because in theory, EVERYTHING has the possibility to trigger someone somewhere.

E.g., a certain smell in a supermarket holds the rare possibility of triggering someone, but do you see disclaimers at the supermarket door that say, “May smell of 484 different things, which are in detail [list of 484 things] and might be different tomorrow. Plus, we might have a customer today who smells of that perfume that brings up your triggering childhood memories. Or maybe we won’t, but just on the odd chance we do, we thought we’d rather cover it”.

There might be one person with a very specific trigger that does literally nothing to the vast majority of people. Do we expect everyone on Tumblr to tag for “eyebrows” or “white T-Shirt” because of that? How about that person just puts “eyebrows” or “white T-Shirt” in their content filter instead?

Do we really suggest to put that type of responsibility on creators? More importantly: Who are we protecting that way? All we do is put people into bubble wrap and shift responsibility for our mental wellbeing away from ourselves to others.

We are trying to tell other people what to do for our own comfort. That’s controlling.

If we’re squicked out by something, there is a simple solution: we can stop looking or reading. We can use content (not tag) filters. In the worst case, we can block. We don’t have to put that type of responsibility for our personal sensitivities on creators (or people who reblog, for that matter).

We can tag for certain things as a courtesy, I’m all for it. I love being able to filter out stuff I’m not into, and I sometimes wish people would tag better or not tag a certain way (getting ship tags for a ship you’re not into slapped on your character-metas is annoying 🤣). But I don’t die, neither does it cause me unbearable distress, if I see cows where I don’t expect them. Scroll past or block. And if I’m worried about mature topics like nudity or violence: Tumblr has a community label for mature themes you can (and in my view should) use if in doubt. Funnily enough, many people don’t do that though—maybe because they worry about reach?

Of course we should include content warnings where they are due, no one says we shouldn’t. It’s also fair if a creator doesn’t wish to do that beyond general warnings (no specifics) though because they might give away, say, major plot points that way. In that case, general disclaimers like “contains depictions of violence”, or whatever it might be individually, are a good idea. And if that’s not specific enough for us despite knowing that “violence” in general might also contain our personal trigger, we might need to make the decision not to read it to stay safe, but we shouldn’t have a go at the writer for not tagging very specific things that might be considered spoilers.

Long story short: If we assume people are “triggered” by werewolves with vulvas or non-human characters, it might be worth thinking about whether we’re just talking about squicks that very much fall into the category of “personal responsibility”. And there are plenty solutions to that at our end—we don’t need to put that on creators…

[tide-locked]

ok! so i know that you're not to try to motivate yourself with punishment, however: i cannot argue with the results. also, @failonade asked, and who am i to deny the people in my phone the right to make fun of me?

most of this is under a cut because i cannot imagine it will be interesting to most people, but two or three of you will think it's hilarious.

why am i using a silly wip game to organise my stuff? well. because i am, generally, not much of a writer. when i'm working on things—like, for work, etc—they always end up with a standardised name, and i take notes as needed in either a notebook or a text file entitled 'work', as the vibes suit. this is not especially descriptive, but ctl-f for keywords gets me where i need to be, and it's fine!

unfortunately. this meant that when, for the first time in nearly a decade, i considered writing something, i thought to myself, 'it's fine! just stick it in a file called fic!'

it's worth taking a moment here to tell you that one of the things i enjoy about notepad++ is that it autosaves your tabs. they're not saved saved, but when you open the program again, they're in the same state. unless something went catastrophically wrong at some point. but usually they're in the same state! i mention this only because i have a bad habit, especially with work-related things, of simply closing notepad++ and telling myself that it will preserve things for me, something that works well 99% of the time and completely loses all the information that i'd made note of the remaining 1% of the time.

and so, for a minute, i did fic notes more or less the same way i take notes for work-related things: just an unsaved text file with no real headers or organisation, and nothing to mark the transitions between projects, because i can obviously tell that by keyword.

you may, at this point, have spotted the error that i did not: if one is writing several fics about the same show, there are not, in fact, easy keywords in the text that will tell you which bits were intended with which fic.

so i again, cleverly, thought, well, the solution to this is to use more text files, obviously. simply make one for every project.

an interesting thing about living in the future is the way that everything's so connected. people move seamlessly between locations and devices and you never even notice it happening, because everything is so connected. is my friend on the train while we're talking? on her sofa? at work? quite possibly all three, and on my end, this is entirely unnoticeable.

however, i am, it turns out, also a people! but do you know what is not connected? that's right. text files, especially if you are the sort of person who simply does not believe in saving text files, and believes in your heart that if the contents disappear, it's a sign that you should just let it go.

at this point, some people might stop and think, 'are all these text files really necessary? maybe there's a better way!'

that's quitter talk, tho. what i thought was 'yeah, i mean, i'll just add bits in my notes app or in my private discord server and then paste them into the text files later!'

which is a thing you can do. but at some point you find out that discord only likes to scroll back so far, and also that your notes app has a character limit, after which it tells you to get the fuck into the docs.

which you do, because what other choice is there?

a skilled observer, someone who's good at math and counting, may at this point notice that there are now four locations involved in this process. a skilled observer, or simply someone who is smarter than i am, which is a very low bar, might think, wow, that's kind of a lot of locations you've got there, buddy! sure would be a shame if things got all nonsensically jumbled together!

i, on the other hand. i found out about ellipsus, and i thought, oh, i'm just going to try this, i'll just throw a couple things in there and see how it goes. and so i did.

here is what i did not do: stop writing in the text files. or in the notes app. or in discord. i also did not transfer everything from the text files to ellipsus, or anywhere else. i also did not transfer everything from gdocs to…anywhere.

unfortunately, at some point in the past week, i've realised that at this point, i have a truly horrifying number of versions of some files. they're not labelled or even saved, in many instances. i keep finding things that i thought i'd fully deleted, or things that i have three versions of, and they're all within a couple hundred words of each other, but the most recent scenes have nothing at all in common.

which is to say that currently, my notepad++ tab bar looks like this.

if there's a .txt in the name, it means that it was, at some point, saved. when? well. that's not my business. i am now down to twenty-two open files. some of them have literally tens of thousands of words; some of them have work-style notes about medical appointments and bills and random phone numbers; some of them have notes about fics my friends are writing; some of them have as many as two or three sentences with absolutely no further context.

one of them contains, in total, the words 'not actually dead'. that's it, that's the file. 'not actually dead'. the period is outside the quotes because it is not in the fucking file. what did i mean by that. why did i feel that it needed its own file. what the fuck does this mean. we may never know! there's certainly not gonna be any insight from this corner!

another uninteresting fact about me is that i am, in many regards, sort of a minimalist. there are three open tabs on my phone. i have never accessed ao3 except in an incognito window. my search history is empty. i feel like having a dozen tabs open is a lot of tabs. (not you, text files, you're perfect.)

however, right now, i have seven tabs open (normal! fine!), and then…i have. this.

i am sitting here, three in the morning, waiting for a storm to (please please please) roll through, picking at a fic that i'm writing and also sieving through all these goddamned files (yes, the ones in notes and gdocs, too) and consolidating.

questions you may have, at this point, because they're certainly questions that i have:

is this productive? i don't know.

will this fix me? almost certainly not.

is this a good use of my time? i honestly could not tell you; never before have i been in this position, and i don't quite know what to do with it.

will this make it slightly less likely that i have to spend between three minutes and three hours skimming files and looking for the one thing that i want to work on? possibly. hopefully. perhaps. god i hope so.

[ashintheairlikesnow]

Hello!!

Maybe something like, "I never thought I'd be so happy." for the prompt!

CW: Nothing too bad, just BBU stuff

-

"I used to go on walks." Krista sighs, sitting up in bed, pulling her hair back into its usual ponytail using the elastic band eternally around one wrist. It lays just over a bit of scarring, all that's left of the barcode she'd once worn there. Invisible except in certain lights.

"Yeah?" The other woman in the bed pushes up onto her elbows. Her hair, dark and curly, falls in a mess around her face. That bit is a little like Kauri, but her eyes aren't so big, so wide, and they're a warm brown and not blue. "Where did you walk to?"

Krista smiles, looking down as she feels around for her sweatpants and the boxer briefs she wears for underwear. "Anywhere," She says, voice low. "Everywhere."

Outside the apartment, a bird sings on the balcony, loud as a shout just past the blinds that cover the sliding door. Krista ignores it.

"Okay," The woman - Marie - says, slowly. She sits up, back against the headboard, watching with an expression of genuine sadness as Krista pulls her pants back on, then a tank top, and finally the oversized hoodie she always wears, even in summer. "Did you walk for... a reason, or..."

"For a reason." Krista takes a breath and fights back the urge to echo as best she can. Her phone she finds on the side table, along with the fake ID card with the identity she built for herself. The lies she tells to stay safe.

But she can share just a little bit of truth.

"I would watch people, mostly," She says, scrolling through texts. Kauri, a pile of emojis she is pretty sure suggest he was drunk and sad again. Jake, telling her he found Kauri and got him to Nat's to sleep safely. Nat, wondering if she wants to meet for lunch on Sunday. "Where I came from... I couldn't be myself. I couldn't even imagine... being myself."

She thinks of cleaning, and cooking, and working so hard for the family that had bought her. Of hands red and rough from bleach and being berated over stains that didn't come out in the wash. Of a small bed in a back room, and of wandering eyes, wandering hands. Of the screaming fights she had listened to, hiding in a room where they might forget she existed, holding the children.

She doesn't think about the children any longer.

"I get it," Marie says, nodding. "My parents sucked ass, too."

Krista smiles, a little sadly. Her apartment keys go into her pocket. "I always liked to watch couples, really. I watched them be happy. I never thought I would be that happy, but... I liked to see that they were. That people were happy, somewhere, even if it wasn't me."

"You seemed pretty damn happy last night." Marie smiles, and Krista finds herself smiling back. Is the smile just an echo, too? She can't decide.

But she sits back down, and when Marie asks her to stay for breakfast, she says yes.

[selflovewarrior]

hey sweeties!

a new update on the life of Soetkin:

so a couple of weeks after my last post(s) i started a treatment program of three group therapy days a week. it was at a local general hospital, so no specialised program i suppose. while my expectations weren't very high and i saw it more as a tool to not sink deeper into depression and anxiety while i waited out till it would be my turn on the waiting list for the program i actually thought would help me, i quit this program halfway though my planned time there. i felt a lot worse during therapy as it progressed than i did at home. i looked so forward to it being over because i was extremely anxious and felt like i was killing myself on the inside when i was there. home was my safe space, the total opposite of how therapy felt for me. and believe me i know that it's kind of expected that you'll feel worse for a bit during intense therapy since you start opening up and stop running away from what you feel and think. so i quite suddenly quit.

(since this post ended up becoming what resembles a whole novel, i'm going to cut in here so people who don't care don't have to scroll through it ;) anyway it's not all bad if you want to read on, it actualy quite hopeful, the start just isn't very much so.)

i had a plan to pick up some creative activities at facilities for disabled folks, which i have got a government recognition for. i found a place i could start at fairly quickly, i haven't gone very often yet, but all in all i felt such intense relief when i didn't have to go to group therapy there anymore.

i'm still overly anxious and get very (extremely) easily overwhelmed by everything in this world: sounds, proximity, weather. but i am not as deeply depressed anymore. i'm actually feeling more like my regular self in that regard.

i can start the pre-program i've been waiting for since november in two weeks (and the full program one month later) and i'm so very hopeful for the future. i'm not where i used to be yet, but i'll get there, i'll get beyond there. I've already learned more about myself these past 8-9 months, things i never really considered or took seriously. while it still feels strange to say i most probably also have adhd (i got my autism diagnosis as a kid). a lot of the stuff i also struggle with seems to always have something to do with dopamine. i also probably have DCD (i still find it out they didn't look into this when i was in residential treatment when i got my autism diagnosis, but they still mentioned me randomly walking into doorframes and stuff instead of through the doorframes). i'm learning to give myself more time regarding my DCD when doing stuff that's hard(er) for me. even stuff like taking the laundry out of the machine etc. or walking up or down stairs. i'm starting to stop caring about other people being faster. the recognition of that DCD element for myself is a huge thing towards self-acceptance. i now also realise my brand of neurodivergence comes with rejection sensitive dysphoria, which explains SO FUCKING MUCH OMG.

this bout of urgent mental health issues also came with more physical issues than i've ever experienced before. which felt odd, and mostly unexpected. i've had more visits to a physiotherapist than the rest of my life combined these past few months. i also struggled with eating, but not ED wise this time, that part of me is actually doing quite well this time, which is also unexpected but yay. i mostly didn't have the energy to lift my fork and everything tasted meh. but that part is also a lot better now, still happens sometimes, but it's far better now. (i also lost a lot of hair because of it, which is growing back now, so i have plucks of toddler hair in my face all the time, and let me tell you toddler hair is a lot more annoying than baby hairs, they're too short to go anywhere, and too long to not be an annoyance). my last post also came as i was only just healed from what could've been covid, or something similar. but the worst infection i've had since 2020 (and i have had it several times). I always got booster shots (since i worked at a hospital) and never was very inconvenienced, let alone for over a week. but my symptoms now started on new year's day (yay me) and lasted for about a month and they were unpleasant and painful. i guess i partially ought to thank the booster shots in the past for not getting that ill, but i also think i kinda blew my immune system over by not eating properly.

anyway, so here we are. my husband who's a teacher in upper secondary school has started his summer holidays, he's actually had a rather nice last month of the school year since his pupils' finals were evenly spread out for him so he didn't have to rush correcting them.

we're also in a very good place now. i'm so happy and grateful this guy is my husband, that i can call him mine, that we're us. he's also started therapy for his OCD, and while he was terrified he's doing so well, i'm really impressed (a bit scared too though that he might be taking on a bit too much at once in therapy). we're building a sturdy base for our future together (with hopefully a kid at some point sooner rather than later). He's feeling more sad about having to postpone our starting a family plans due to all of this, but we also both see this as a huge opportunity to become even better parents. and in a way we're quite lucky this all happened before i got pregnant and not during or after. not to say it can't or won't happen again, but then we'll be even more prepared to take on this challenge again than we were / are now.

anyway: i still have a long and scary road ahead of me, but i'm not at the start anymore, i've already been hiking for a bit and i'm hopeful about seeing the sun rise beautifully overhead once more.

i also really really really want to reblog stuff for this blog again, and more frequently. i am however still struggling with energy, spoons are often very depleted. i even have a very hard time editing my own pictures and it's not like i've taken many these past 10 months. i've also had people i know irl reach out to me because i'm so absent on all social media and that's very unlike me. and them asking me about it, gives me the feeling that i actually do might belong here and with those people and that people actually care and that i'm missed. and that's a bewildering but amazingly heart warming feeling, that's kind of new to me.

hope to be back sooner next time!

thank you guys so so much for sticking with me, for reblogging my old posts, for sharing positivity on this website and hopefully to people you think need it, including yourself! thank you to all new followers, you're seen! you're loved! you're appreciated!

x Soetkin

[fizzingwizard]

Well, I bought ad-free Tumblr.

I did it because I realized what I would prefer, if I could have my way (aside from just no one needing to pay for anything at all ever hahahahaha), then we'd all pay to subscribe to tumblr and it just wouldn't be free. It'd be like $1.99 per month and all of us would pay it and have no ads and be happy and whee.

Now that's not my serious opinion. I know, for one, what happens when you stick things behind a paywall. Tumblr might not be a scientific journal or reputable news source (lol) but a paywall still divides, still excludes, and that's antithetical to the entire experience of the Internet. And then, there would still be all the other social media sites that have ads and don't make you pay out of pocket, which would sail on with everyone who can't afford or doesn't want to afford tumblr.

Everyone paying a nice, neat, cheap monthly fee or discount annual fee and getting along together is what would work best for me, but it's not realistic for everyone. But, since I'm willing to do it, I thought, why haven't I? And I'll tell you why: Because idk about the rest of you, but much of tumblr really doesn't work that well for me. I have issues with posting, especially with paragraph breaks and trying to move bits of text around. I don't like that posts I reblogged in the past are hidden forever behind "Flagged for mature content" warnings and it's like. A picture of a cat. Not to mention broken music links and videos (which I guess aren't tumblr's fault, just makes me sad). I don't like how pictures seem to always end up sized differently and you have to open it just the right way to see it how you want. Not to mention a bunch of features tumblr used to have that I loved have gone away or been massively de-emphasized: support for music players on blogs, for example. (Yes I still have one but it's a pain the neck.) Polls are nice but I miss that. I also miss convenient free themes - they're still there of course! But finding one that has everything I want (no endless scrolling, clear navigation, visible icon and description, music player, etc) is also a pain and I just end up reusing the same old one I've been using since I joined and recoloring it lol.

So I'd be happier about paying for tumblr if the experience were just a touch cleaner, faster. Oh, and not forgetting about PC users xP I know lots of people use their phone, I do too, it's convenient - but PC is just easier. Well, maybe for teens who can type on their phones at 50 mph it's no big deal. But I love love love my keyboard.

But anyway I paid it so I get a year without ads. Honestly I thought about it and $40 a year is what, ten cents a day? I really don't mind that. I wasn't really bothered by ads anymore since they've been scaled back, but now I can be bothered by them even less, so yay. OTOH, it looks like the subscription auto-renews, which I HATE. If so, I hope they send a warning email a few days before.

Oh and you know what else helped. I did a few youtube searches recently, and wanted to tear out my own hair over how frustrating it was. I just want a list of videos that relate to the subject of my search, not interspersed between "things I've seen before," "random shorts," "things that are similar," "things totally different that Youtube wants to show me anyway." And same thing on Google, Amazon, anywhere. I'm just so sick of it. So I'll fucking pay for fucking tumblr x'D Just work and not be annoying alright!!

I find it amusing that the moment I paid, I got a pop-up asking me to pay more to give ad-free to someone else. I might be more amenable when my pocketbook isn't smarting anymore 9_9

But this was funniest of all:

OK, I can't imagine ever doing it, but I suppose there's someone out there who thinks highly enough of the stuff that gets blazed to decide they want to continue seeing it even after spending $40 x'D But who is paying the fee and choosing show all ads? Please, is there anyone? I want to see a cryptid for myself.

[personae-obscura]

About The Mun and Mun's Rules

My name is Wic and I’m 30 years old. This blog likely won’t be too active as the fandoms for the indie games are very small or virtually nonexistent. This blog is also a sideblog and follows from some-random-fandom-chick I can also be found on my Tim Drake blog.

GENERAL STUFF

Dont God Mod: It’s rude and unnecessary

Triggers: My only real trigger is manipulative language and tactics from parental figures. I’d rather not write it at all or have it directed at me even in fiction. It often hits too close to home

Squicks: These subjects aren’t triggers like above but they are things I’m uncomfortable writing. I won’t stop you from writing them, I will simply scroll past. Rape, extreme pointless gore (I don’t mind injuries, that happens especially where comic characters are involved just don’t start waxing poetic about the exact angle someone’s guts are hanging out or something like that), body horror, incest and topics within that ball park

Dark Themes: I don’t mind mentions of prostitution and abuse and drug use and various other things that characters will unfortunately go through. I would rather not write it in detail but I’m more than happy for our characters to talk about it after the fact. Now, for the sake of my own mental health, I might have to step away from that thread for a bit and focus on lighter topics for a short while. This will never be your fault. You didn’t trigger me and I will always tell you that I’m stepping away from the topic for a few days. I just might need to recentre myself if I’ve been writing dark topics a lot or something unexpectedly hits close to home. Again, this is never your fault

Following: Be aware that this is a sideblog so I will follow from my main some-random-fandom-chick I couldn’t be bothered to make yet another email, I’ve got too many already from old long deleted blogs that I can’t log into because I’ve long since lost the login details

Following Back: There’s no guarantee that I will follow you back right away or at all. I need time to scroll through your blog, look at your rules, make sure you’re within my age range, get an idea of your writing style. That’s easier to do on my laptop. You might also write for a fandom that I personally have no interest in. If I don’t follow you back, don’t take it personally. I’m not going to block you just because we’re not interacting. If you’ve seen something in my blog that you like then I’m flattered and I hope you enjoy reading my threads!

INTERACTIONS

Romance: If you take the time to build chemistry with my muses then yes absolutely I’m happy to see where a romance goes! The only one unavailable for romance is Alice

Smut: All my muses (except for Alice) are adults so, again, if the chemistry is there then yeah sure! Between a consenting couple, a short lived fling, a one night stand, friends with benefits, whatever the case. I would prefer to avoid cheating, that scenario just doesn’t interest me at all

Ask Memes: More than happy to answer them and even turn them into threads! But don’t farm me for memes. If you see one you like, reblog from the source if the link still works

Fandom Crossovers: As long as I’m familiar with the fandom then yeah I’m down! Otherwise, I just won’t follow you back. Nothing personal, it’s just easier to write when I’m equally interested in the fandom

Anon: I have exactly 0 issues with blocking people who are pointlessly rude to me and turning Anon off. Don’t be a dick

Have Fun!: We’re here because we enjoy writing

NOPES

Alice: This character is 14. Unless you also have a muse who is 14 or 15, she is completely unavailable for romance and smut threads. Don’t ask

Blocking: You start spouting some any kind of phobic or ism/ist shit, you’re immediately getting blocked. If I find out you’re under 18, I’m going to block you not because you’ve done anything wrong, but because I’m 28 and interacting with someone 10 years my junior makes me highly uncomfortable. I’ve taken responsibility of too many people before and it’s driven me to burnout multiple times, I cannot do that to myself again.

Reminders: I don’t do reminders, I’ve found that it tends to feel a lot like an obligation rather than a hobby. I’ll come and tell you if I want to drop a thread and I hope that you’ll feel comfortable enough to tell me if you want to drop a thread. There’s no time limits on replies with me though this does mean you could be waiting anywhere from twenty minutes to two months for a reply. All depends on how busy work is, how much free time I’ve had, how loud a muse is in my head and whether or not I’ve got ideas.

[sciencestyled]

The Original Garden Blogger: How Adam Got Into Nutrigenomics

You know, life in Eden wasn’t all frolicking and forbidden fruit. Sure, there was a lot of lounging under fig trees and naming animals (honestly, "aardvark" was a low-energy day). But after that whole apple incident, I needed a new hobby. Eve suggested I try writing. Something about "channeling my creativity constructively" and "keeping me out of trouble."

One day, while I was munching on some pomegranates and thinking about how each fruit in this place seemed to have its own personality, I had a revelation. What if our bodies reacted differently to different foods? I mean, maybe there was more to this whole eating thing than just filling our bellies. Perhaps the fruits and veggies around us were having conversations with our very essence—our genes. It was like a light bulb moment, though considering the time period, it was more like a "blaze of fire in the brain" moment.

I ran this idea past Eve, who was busy with her own project about the moral implications of human cloning (don’t ask). She told me to dig deeper, to find the scientific roots (pun intended) of my idea. That’s when I started piecing together the concept of nutrigenomics. What if every bite we took influenced the grand genetic scheme? It was like realizing that every fruit we ate was a tiny messenger, carrying instructions to our bodies.

My first attempt to document these thoughts was a mess. “Adam's Fruit Journal” wasn’t exactly riveting stuff. But then I stumbled upon the perfect way to spice it up: humor. After all, if Eve’s piece on cloning could crack me up, maybe I could make people laugh while explaining the science behind how what we eat can alter our genes. Hence, “The Original Garden Blogger” was born.

It wasn’t long before I was neck-deep in scrolls and parchments, scribbling away about how the omega-3s in fish could calm the storms of inflammation or how the sulforaphane in broccoli could boost our body’s defenses like a knight in shining armor. I even started giving names to the different genes and nutrients—anything to make the concepts stick. Imagine telling folks that the “Sulforaphane Squadron” was on their side, battling the "Inflammation Invaders." It was genius!

Of course, I had to deal with the occasional distraction. Like when that darn serpent would slither up and give unsolicited advice. “Adam, you should add more sizzle to your writing, like ‘Nutrigenomics: How a Bite Can Change Your Life!’” Not bad, I had to admit, even if he was the reason we got kicked out of Eden in the first place.

Writing about nutrigenomics became more than just a pastime; it was a way to reconnect with the garden, to understand it on a level beyond just naming creatures or avoiding talking snakes. I found myself fascinated by how something as simple as an apple (yep, still a bit sore about that) could be so much more than it seemed. Every fruit, every seed, carried within it the power to influence our very beings.

So, there you have it. From the first bite of that infamous apple to exploring the genetic mysteries of the food we eat, it’s been quite a ride. And now, my dear readers, let’s dive into the lush world of nutrigenomics, where each meal is a step in understanding the beautiful, complex interaction between our diets and our DNA. Enjoy the journey, and remember: even the most ancient of wisdom can have a humorous twist!

[fevers-and-emeto-oh-my]

Hey not in the RE fandom but you don't deserve the stupidity of people who can't be bothered to just...scroll past content they don't vibe with. I'm a fandom old as it were, I've been here since I was a snot nosed bruiser brat myself. And it's been nothing but good for me to not engage with stuff I don't vibe with or like and if I come across it? I block it. Plain and simple. Saw people upset about ''genre'' of fic while using ONLY the [character x reader] tag for it and about lost my jaw it dropped to the floor so fast.

Imagine complaining....about not being able to find fic you want. And then you go and clog up the same tag you were just bitching about being filled to the brim with content you didn't wanna see. Couldn't be me. I'm driven by spite and a love of creativity. If there isn't content I want then I'll write it myself. Anyway, all this to say: Keep it up! Make that hunk of a man suffer!! <3

omg anon i love you

it's just not that serious???? i wasn't old enough to come into fandom when it was like all LJ and stuff, but I DID come in when fanfic.net was in its heyday and had all of four tags to tell you about the fic. Even when I was younger and didn't understand why people wrote about certain things/didn't like certain ships or tropes I just. Scrolled past? Minded my own business? Let people enjoy things they liked?

The main tag thing really got me. I normally don't argue with people because it's generally a waste of time, but if you're gonna start clogging up main tags with your bullshit opinions about what people write, I'm gonna tell you to knock it off 😂

It's also baffling to me because of the fact that tumblr and ao3 both have pretty extensive tagging systems. ao3 now lets you mute people and you can exclude as many tags as you don't want to see to curate the stuff you want to read. You can blacklist tags and words on tumblr. Antis and purity culture teens now would never survive fanfic.net or Quotev or LJ or any of the sites where you were essentially going in mostly blind.

ANYWAY this has been a long reply but YES I am also driven by creativity and spite and enjoy writing things I want when I can't find them. I will have so much fun making this hunk suffer and I hope you have equally as much fun with your own fandoms/writing!! 💜

[flung-out-of-asgard]

I think a lot about dying.

And not in a suicidal way, or maybe yes, I really don’t know. I think about what would happen if something terrible happened to me tomorrow, and how the people around me would deal with it. How long would it be before someone notices I am not around anymore? How long before someone points out I haven’t attended a screening or a conference in quite some time? How long before they wonder why haven’t I gone on my social media to post whatever?

How long would it take them to forget and move on? Who would cry? Who would ask ‘who?’ when they tell them I died. What would my friends say about me? ‘Gone too soon’? ‘She was great’? Would they really mean it?

I think a lot about dying. About the paperwork my family would have to do so that the government stop asking for me to pay my taxes. I’m dead, there are no taxes underneath the dirt, not that I’m aware of anyway. I wonder about the money, how much would it cost to bury me? Is it cheaper to get an urn? Use my organs for someone else, I’m healthy. I think a lot about my parents crying, my sister shocked by the news. I think about my grandmother and my aunts and my cousins and everyone in my family. Would they miss me? Would my parents be disappointed? Would they feel like they failed? They didn’t, not in any step of the way.

I think a lot about being dead. Would I be a pretty corpse? What clothes would my mother pick for my funeral? What picture? Which flowers? Who stayed awake all night crying the loss? Who made up an excuse and didn’t show up?

Who’s posting a picture of us together on social media? Who’s trying to comfort my friends? Are the friends I broke up with crying too? Or do they feel relieved? Do my exes ever find out? Do they cry?

When I die, what happens to everything I’ve written? To the little art projects I’ve made and collected throughout the years? Are my parents throwing away my stuff? Are they keeping some of my things?

Is the girl that I like coming to the funeral? Or she doesn’t care? Who’s keeping my favourite book? What happens to my room? Does my dog miss me too?

Where do I go when I die? I don’t feel relevant enough to go to Elysium, so where do I land? Or is there nothing? Is it like being asleep? Is it just over?

I think a lot about everyone thinking back on it all and wondering if there were any signs. As the big cliche I am, I think there are. My dad would make sense to seeing the lights on at 3am daily, to my room all messy and how it slowly became more and more chaotic as I was insomniac and yet got up past noon. Always so out of energy. So tired.

My death would explain why I cry a lot everyday, why I play the same show over and over again, because I know exactly which episodes are the sad ones so I can pretend that’s the reason I’m crying.

It would explain why I was so lonely. How I went from going out every weekend to locking myself up in my room and just scroll, and stare at the ceiling and do some more crying.

When they looked back, would they realise I was screaming for help? That it all was too much; and I felt like drowning in every moment of my life, whether it was because of work, because I was frustrated, because I was running out of friends, because I had no lover and I was just stuck? Would they lose the pressure on my shoulders then? Forgive me for leaving?

I think a lot about dying. Every night before bed I take my sleeping pills and I wonder what would happen if only I exceeded the dosage.

But I never do it. Primarily because I don’t want my parents to carry that guilt, because I don’t wanna hurt my sister like that. Secondly because dying is expensive, and money is not something we actually have. Thirdly because I try to convince myself 27 is a way too young age to go, and that I might not even be halfway in life, and that it will all be better soon, maybe in a year or two.

I also think about the movies I wanna watch, and the books I wanna read. About the shows I haven’t finished watching, and the music I’d never hear if I left. I think about the food I like, and the way the road home looks like stars at night, I think about Halloween and eating pumpkins. I think about hugging my dad and my mom and my sister and my dog and my grandma and my aunts and my cousins and my niece and how much i’d miss us screaming during game nights because we all cheat on monopoly. I think about finishing up writing and drawing and animating some things before I leave.

I think a lot about dying and living and floating the way I do. And suddenly the words stop making sense and I fall asleep and I forget, I forget about my pain for a moment, I let myself dream. I survived another day.

But I still think a lot about dying, I think about it in the shower and at random times during the day.

But that’s not enough. I need to say it out loud, so I write it and I read it. I realise in how much pain I am, but somehow I’ve managed to get through it, and tonight I cried but I also found calmness after that anxiety.

So maybe I can do it, one more time.

And just one more after that one.

And so on.

[skinnidreamss]

Fuck tumblr

I've been scrolling through this blog for the past 2 hours. I don't even know how to feel. I guess the word "nauseous" would come to mind first. Ana tumblr has taken my fucking childhood from me and I gave it away happily.

I was fucking warned and I didn't listen. I would do anything to be able to stop my 13 year old self from ever discovering this place. I wish I could tell her that she really wasn't that fat, but the adults around her were trying to live through her and feeding her lies about how "dangerous" her very much healthy BMI was. I was just chubby. I was just a kid. I trusted everyone around me because they were adults and they were supposed to know everything, but it turns out that they were even more clueless than me.

I guess maybe when I found out that ED Tumblr, a place that is literally based on toxicity shared a few of the beliefs that these people would tell me, I should've been a bit concerned. But I wasn't. And I just fell into this rabbit hole that I don't think I will ever get out of. The things you learn here follow you forever. I can be happy and having a good day, eating something and the part of my brain that developed under the influence of this hell will remind me of some idiotic quote I read in a pretty font at 14. "once on the lips, forever on the hips", or some shit like that. And just like that, my day is ruined.

The truth is, I haven't been on here for a full year. My last post is from february 3rd 2023. It's february 6th 2024 now. I've been trying to heal, sort of. About 6 months ago, I started losing weight in a healthy(?) way. I think. I can't even tell at this point. After all these years, it's impossible to think about weight loss without triggering some horrible memories and starting some old habits again. I've had some close calls, but I haven't relapsed. I haven't starved myself the way I used to in a year. It's getting better.

I logged in today thinking I might delete this account once and for all. I decided to scroll through it and to my horror, I realized that I have repressed a lot of memories about my eating disorder. I had forgotten very big parts of my life and what my diets used to look like. I don't even know how to react and I don't have anyone to talk to about it. It's stuff that was happening a year and a half ago. One of the things I regret a lot is not journaling throughout my teenage years. But this blog has a ton of journal entries that reminded me of stuff my brain tried to erase. Like, for example. MY FUCKING THERAPIST TOLD ME THAT IF I TRULY WANTED TO LOSE WEIGHT, I WOULD???? WHat the actual fuck??????? I remember being very hurt about that and thinking about it a lot for a while, before getting back on tumblr and finding some crazy diet to do, after a while of actually doing better. If I hadn't found the post I made about it at the time, I would've probably forgotten about it forever. And there's probably so much shit that I will never remember again. The crazy thing is that although I had pretty much forgotten all of the things I wrote on here, they still hurt me somehow.

I am just so fucking angry at everything and anyone. I hate tumblr and everything about ed tumblr. My brain feels rotten from all the shit I learned here. I am getting better, but I've been having a shitty day so I guess I needed someplace to rant. I am angry at the complete lack of attention that everyone in my life gave me when it came to my diet. I used to be scared that they would find out and try to stop me from starving myself. But I slowly realized that I could show as many signs of an unhealthy diet as I wanted. Nobody ever noticed, or if they did, they just didn't give a shit. I was doing stuff that if a skinnier girl did, it would've raised a million red flags to everyone. But because I was fat, I guess it was fine.

I'm not gonna get into any more of my trauma anymore because if I start, I might just never stop writing.

I'll be 19 in two months. Everyone else I know has discovered themselves, bettered themselves, found friends and even love. All I've discovered in the past 6 years is how to lose and gain back the same 10 kg over and over and over again in the most disgusting and painful ways.

But whatever.

Life goes on. I owe it to my younger self to get better. I truly believe it's possible to do this in a healthy way. I will keep trying to be better and hopefully the anger will fade away in time and I will finally be able to heal from all of this. Someday.

[veebs-hates-video-games]

Blacksmith of the Sand Kingdom is more fun than any 6/10 game that does everything ok but nothing great has any right to be

I'm going to attempt to get myself to post stuff here again even though I don't feel up to it most of the time, just so I don't forget my thoughts on things or forget how to write, and I guess we can start with this one because I just finished it over the past week.

Literally nothing in the game hasn't been done before dozens of times, frequently just as well if not better, but somehow it's still pretty satisfying anyway, and a lot of people who've tried to do those same things have managed to screw them up in ways that they avoided here.

The crafting system was just interesting enough to keep my attention until I finished the game, but it's nothing compared to an Atelier game.

The turn-based combat has a decent number of options available, but it doesn't give you much incentive to actually use most of them and doesn't stand out much in most ways (beyond how amazingly you can break it).

The music is kind of catchy and still stuck in my head, but beyond that it doesn't really stand out in any way.

Most of the art is serviceable and nice enough to look at, but the animations are kinda stiff and a lot of stuff is relatively generic. The character portraits are genuinely pretty good though.

The characters are pretty generic too, and you can guess exactly which stereotypes they fall into right away and be completely right, but they have just enough interactions with each other to make them mostly pretty likeable to spend time with them anyway.

And the story is just a big pile of tropes and cliches, but in a pretty inoffensive way that serves its purpose to move the game forward and be mildly rewarding when things get resolved.

Is it a great game? Absolutely not. Did I have a lot of fun with it anyway? Heck yeah!

It has a satisfying loop of doing quick runs of dungeons to collect materials, going back to town to talk to people and turn in quests, crafting a bunch of new stuff, selling the extras in your shop, and then repeating it all the next day. There's nothing revolutionary, and in a lot of ways it looks and feels like something from like 25 years ago, but they've managed to get rid of a lot of the rough edges a lot of games that actually came out back then tended to have, so there are very few barriers to just playing the game if you get into that loop.

I know Kemco has a reputation these days for publishing D-tier games that are low budget and not very good (and let's be real, the physical copy of Lagoon I still have for the SNES from when I was a kid tells me no one should be surprised that's what they do now because that's what they've always done), but there are some hidden gems in there, and this makes me curious about Rideon's (the developer's) other games. I guess I'll find out when Marenian Tavern Story: Patty and the Hungry God inevitably goes on sale again in the next few weeks.

Also since I can't be bothered to figure out where to edit it into this post higher up or make a separate one for it, here's something Blacksmith of the Sand Kingdom got right that much higher budget games that in theory should be much more polished surprisingly often don't: the way the menus feel.

Sure, they could've organized them a little better so you didn't need to dig through so many of them to do certain things like socket orbs into your gear, but they're quick and responsive and have options for filtering and sorting what's in them too. You can also scroll them one line at a time or an entire page at a time, when a surprising number of games don't bother with the latter.

And the real thing they got right that way too many games don't is that they're nearly instantaneous. I think it was World of Final Fantasy (definitely a Squenix game I played in the past year or so anyway) where the menus take a second or two to open up and become interactable, which is mildly annoying itself but made so much worse by the menu and cursor being drawn to the screen right away but not becoming responsive until that second or two is up. It's super obnoxious to visually indicate that you can do stuff when you can't do stuff yet, and I had to train myself over the course of the game to wait before pushing any buttons every time I opened the menu.

Something that's somewhere in between the two is Xenoblade Chronicles 3, where I'm pretty sure the menus take about the same amount of time to open, but the animation of them fading in is used to partially hide that, and more importantly they don't draw the cursor until it's already ready. As soon as it looks like you can interact with it you actually can for real, which feels infinitely better.

Anyway, that's the kind of thing that tons of AAA games manage to screw up that Blacksmith of the Sand Kingdom largely avoids. It also mostly manages to avoid doing anything truly great, but just not having tons of little common annoyances goes a long way because they add up.

Blacksmith of the Sand Kingdom: it's ok! And sometimes that's enough.

[fieldlands]

@l-cereta​ 

the gacha game is in fact totally skippable! if you’re interested in nosing around the story of it anyway though, you don’t even necessarily have to Play it: there are transcriptions https://apps.atlasacademy.io/db/NA/wars here! you’ll have to click around some to access them, but everything from the game is dumped to this site. (just make sure you’re in the NA tab instead of the JP tab, represented by the country flag on the bar at the top) This also means you’ll probably be scrolling past a lot of mechanical info that doesnt concern you in the process lol and if that bothers you you can probably find story compilations on youtube instead! (i have never tried this because i just play the game myself, so i dont have recommendations on who to check out) i really like atlas academy though its good stuff.

the number 1 high fidelity Way To Get Into fate is in fact to read fate/stay night! there’s no Official way to do this in english atm BUT type-moon has been on a consistent kick of translating their older (pre-fate) visual novels for overseas audiences so if you sit down and wait a few years fsn will probably be on your steam capable device / nintendo switch / playstation for like 60 real world american dollars. that said that’s a silly thing to recommend doing and im aware of this so HERE IS my friend lance’s post of links to read fsn in fan translated english right now! i used these links to read the VN myself so they do work!

the main difference between the original VN and the “realta nua” version is that realta nua is a remake that replaced explicit sex scenes with non-explicit (but sometimes still sexual!) equivalents. other than that essentially no changes were made to the game’s story so choose whichever based on your level of comfort! the fsn sex scenes are kind of infamous for being anywhere from Silly to Outright Bad To Read so realta nua is absolutely a valid choice to make here. if you do choose realta nua, the game’s routes will be separated out into different .exes: the intended reading order for the routes is fate route -> unlimited blade works -> heavens feel

i dont have the reading advice Memorized on most other fate entries but i do know a bit about one other: fate/extra! a remake called fate/extra record is in development and everyone’s excited about that because the story of the original fate/extra is very good but the gameplay is generally unpleasant to most. there’s also a fan translation of a different extraverse game, fate/extra ccc, which is nearing playable completion! i’ve been keeping myself unspoiled on ccc happenings in anticipation of this so i don’t actually 100% know how it relates back to extra in particular lol. and the bow on top of these two games is the anime fate/extra last encore! which is NOT a direct adaptation of extra, it’s a story that’s set in its world using its characters but tells a very different story. it’s not looked upon well by the fandom because i think a lot of people were expecting a straight up adaptation so they didn’t have to tell people to play extra anymore lol, but i personally love it to death and i think all that’s required for a satisfying watch is cursory knowledge of extra’s normal setting and circumstances/characters. if you spend a good few hours with the facts of fate extra (like via the wiki, perhaps) you will probably be ready for last encore. i did this by trying to play the original game myself (it was released officially in english for the psp, so no need to hunt down a translation, just a rom) + the passing familiarity with a lot of the game’s Servant characters i had from fgo. i did not get very far in the game though lol which is why i say cursory!

most fate anime adaptations are not too bad honestly, but even the best tend to be imperfect and leave out some of the punchier parts of the story. the only one i’ve heard described as unsalvageably bad is the one for fate/apocrypha though, so if you want to get into apocrypha i THINK the recommended solution for that one is the manga adaptation. there are a LOT of options for most fate works once you start looking so i think generally the best way to make sure you’re getting the best is to ask people whose tastes you trust instead of just going to your local search engine wild west lol.

ok apologies for asking this but what actually is fate?? i thought it was a gacha game like arknights but i just saw that one manga post... is it a manga?? why is oberon, husband of titania, there,

OH BOY

SO, essentially, fate is one company (known as type-moon)'s long-running series that has since its inception expanded into several different mediums! it started out with fate/stay night, a visual novel which was released aaaall the way back in 2004. the base universe established in the visual novel has since been expanded on through several other games, several manga series, anime adaptations, light novels, etc, And yes the gacha game!

The gacha game is called fate/grand order! fgo for short. Oberon husband of titania is a major character (and fan favorite lol) from one of the game's recent* story chapters, lostbelt 6 avalon le fae!

*it's recent on the english-translated north american server of the game. NA fgo is about 2 years behind the original japanese server in terms of content releases, so for japanese players lostbelt 6 has been out for about 2 years already!

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 322: IF I COULD TURN BACK TIME

Previously on BnHA: Endeavor was all, “Kirishima please take Hagakure and Aoyama and put them away somewhere out of sight until we’re finally ready for the U.A. Traitor Plot.” Shouto was all “HEY DEKU DID IT EVER OCCUR TO YOU THAT MAYBE YOU WANDERING THE STREETS LOOKING LIKE A GOTH PRAYING MANTIS IS EXACTLY WHAT AFO WANTS.” Deku was all “I’M SORRY I CAN’T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF MY CRUSHING MARTYR COMPLEX AND ACCUMULATED TRAUMA.” Mineta was all “HEY DEKU YOU SWEET THANG, IF I COULD REARRANGE THE ALPHABET I’D PUT ‘U’ AND ‘I’ TOGETHER, ANYWAYS HMU 💖”, or at least that’s what fandom apparently thought he said. Everyone was all “WELL SINCE WE’RE BACK HERE IN KAMINO WE SHOULD DO THE THING” and did the whole “launching someone into the air to save someone by dramatically grabbing their hand” thing that everybody fucking loves to do in Kamino so damn much. Iida was all “[bombards me and Deku with feels].” Deku was all, “ू(ʚ̴̶̷́ .̠ ʚ̴̶̷̥̀ ू).” I was all, “(;*△*;).” Horikoshi was all, “my work here is done.”

Today on BnHA: 

oh my god.

so I finally went back to look at what I wrote up for 321 last week, and it’s a hot fucking mess lol, and I really don’t want to deal with that right now, so we’re just gonna skip it and go back sometime in the next few days or something because I really want to read the new chapter and I have no self control. I’M SORRY IIDA

oh my god he’s breaking out the narration word bubbles oh my god. shit is about to get epic isn’t it

has there ever been a chapter that opened with these that WASN’T epic? serious question. anyways all aboard the Feels Express I guess

YEP

I saved a bunch of other crying kaomojis when I was looking for ones to use in the “previously on” summary, and right now it’s looking like that was a good fucking decision you guys. if I’m going to be an emotional wreck I might as well do it in style ʕ ಡ ﹏ ಡ ʔ

AND BY THE WAY!!

SHOULD I JUST THANK HORIKOSHI NOW AND SAVE MYSELF SOME TIME LATER. THE MAN ALWAYS FUCKING DELIVERS WHAT ELSE CAN I FUCKING SAY GODDAMN. IS IT TOO EARLY TO DECLARE THIS MY NEW FAVORITE CHAPTER? I SHOULD PROBABLY READ FURTHER THAN ONE PAGE BUT I’VE JUST GOT A FEELING

(ETA: it’s like. maybe my second favorite lol. A HUG WOULD HAVE PUT IT IN FIRST, I’M JUST SAYING.)

anyway so Ochako is releasing Iida, which is actually hilarious, because idk if you all know this but Iida can’t fucking fly you guys

like, I assume Ochako released him because she already knew that Kirishima was in place to catch him, but I really love this split-second of panic on Iida’s part where he’s all “HMM, IS OCHAKO TRYING TO KILL ME, ACTUALLY”

LOL THERE’S A THOOM AND EVERYTHING

that’s some plus fucking ultra on Ochako’s part right there. “IF THEY DIE THEY DIE” goddamn girl did you leave your chill in the same locker as Momo or what

now poor Kiri is all “DAMMIT DEKU ARE YOU PASSED OUT OR WHAT, I DIDN’T GET TO TELL YOU MY THING GODDAMMIT”

oh my gosh he is curled up so small you guys oh my fucking lord

RESIDUAL “LOST CHILD” FEELS FROM LAST WEEK COMING IN FOR A LANDING!! PLEASE MAKE SURE YOUR SEATBACKS AND TRAY TABLES ARE IN THEIR UPRIGHT POSITIONS OMG ( ˚͈͈͈͈̥̆ ₍₎ ˚͈͈͈͈̥̆ )

LMAO IIDA IS TRYING TO CONFIRM THAT OCHAKO PLANNED FOR KIRISHIMA TO CATCH HIM, AND KIRISHIMA IS ALL “NOPE I’M JUST HERE BY CHANCE BRO”

Ochako is the U.A. Traitor confirmed. Hagakure I am so sorry I doubted you. Ochako get over here. so are you Toga now or what

anyway so now everyone is running over before Iida can react to this casual announcement of his attempted murder. and now Mina is taking her turn, and Horikoshi is all “HEY BTW IS MINA CRYING ON THE LIST OF THINGS THAT MAKE YOU CRY?” and of fucking course it is, you bastard. I’m not made of stone

( ɵ̥̥ ˑ̫ ɵ̥̥)

SLDKFJLSDKJ:LKWEJ

IS THIS THE PART WHERE I JUST START SCREAMING INCOHERENTLY FOR THE REST OF THE CHAPTER LOL. SURE FEELS LIKE WE ARE GETTING TO THAT TIME

OH MY GOD KACCHAN AHHHHH

I CAN’T OMG LOL I ALREADY GLANCED AT THE NEXT COUPLE OF PANELS, AND HE’S STARTING A WHOLEASS MONOLOGUE ABOUT ALL OF HIS DEKU FEELS AND OH MY GOD

“HERE YOU GO MAKESTE, A WHOLE CHAPTER OF ALL YOUR FAVORITE META TOPICS JUST THE WAY YOU LIKE THEM” THANK YOU HORIKOSHI YOU’RE A BRO (っ˘̩╭╮˘̩)っ

SLKASODIFALWKFLKJ

THEY’RE JUST DEKU AND KACCHAN. holy shit you guys. because oh my god, but it’s like when Deku was talking to the Vestiges about saving Tomura, and he turned into his little child self because his heart and intentions were so pure?? and it’s like that again, except that we’re seeing them as their child selves because that’s who they are to each other?? like, not that they actually see each other as children, but just, they can see past all of the stuff on the outside and see each other to their cores, to who they are inside, and when they look at each other they each simply see the other boy that they’ve known their whole entire life. idk?? does that make sense??? DOES ANY OF THIS EVEN MAKE SENSE I DON’T KNOW WHAT WORDS ARE ANYMORE I’M JUST SWIMMING IN FEELS OKAY. I’M TRYING HERE

they’re just boys, is what I’m trying to say, I guess. just Deku and Kacchan. all the walls are down, all the gaps are bridged, and all it is is the one boy reaching out and connecting with the other, and just,,, (꒦ິ⌓꒦ີ)

OH MY GOD [GRABBING YOUR SHOULDERS AND POINTING WORDLESSLY] !!!1LK1

DO YOU ALL KNOW WHAT THIS IS YOU GUYS

HOW PERFECTLY FUCKING RAD. WELL LET ME JUST ENJOY THESE LAST FEW SECONDS BEFORE MY LIFE IS FOREVER CHANGED, I GUESS

OH

MY

GOD

CAN HE EVEN SAY THAT??? IS THAT EVEN LEGAL??? IS HE EVEN FUCKING ALLOWED TO SAY THAT. WHAT IS HAPPENING

OH MY GOD!!! OH MY GOD!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!!

─=≡Σ((( つ ◕o◕ )つ

GET IN HERE, EVERYONE!!

Y’ALL HE REALLY DID IT. “BAKUGOU IS SUCH AN ASSHOLE HE HASN’T EVEN APOLOGIZED” WELL GUESS FUCKING WHAT. GUESS FUCKING WHAT, YOU GUYS!! LET’S FUCKING GOOOOO ((((／￣∇￣)／＼(￣∇￣＼)))) AHHHHHHHHHH

OHHHHHHHH

HEH. I’M ALREADY DEAD, HORIKOSHI, YOU BASTARD. DO YOUR WORST. GO ON

YOU CAN ALWAYS COUNT ON “US”, HE SAYS. ALONG WITH A BUNCH OF OTHER STUFF OMG. KACCHAN, YOU STUDIED!! YOU UNDERSTAND!! PREACH!!

OH NO!!

OH WAIT!!!!

LOL I GOT SCARED THERE FOR A SECOND BUT ANYWAY! EVERYONE GET IN HERE!!! GROUP HUG!!! OR WAIT, NO, WHAT ABOUT -- [GRABS YOUR COLLAR URGENTLY] YOU DON’T THINK -- COULD THEY POSSIBLY -- !!!!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

ARE YOU GONNA HUG!??!?!?!?! I AM NOT OKAY!!!!!!! !!!hgk

REACTION PANELS LOL EVERYONE ELSE IS ON THE EDGE OF THEIR SEATS TOO WE’RE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER

LOL OCHAKO

I KNOW THAT IN REALITY THIS FACE IS JUST BECAUSE SHE’S CONCERNED ABOUT DEKU’S FRAGILE STATE RN, BUT I KEEP THINKING ABOUT THE WAY SHE JUST DROPPED IIDA COLD THOUGH, AND I CAN’T HELP BUT FEAR FOR KACCHAN’S SAFETY LMAO. THAT FEELING WHEN THE CLASS PERV AND THE CLASS BULLY BOTH BEAT YOU TO THE LOVE CONFESSION. KACCHAN WATCH YOUR SIX

OKAY BUT LOOK, IT’S NOT THAT I DON’T LOVE ALL OF THE OTHER KIDS, OKAY, BUT CAN WE PLEASE!??!?! HELLO?!?!? MOMO, JUST -- COULD YOU JUST FOR A MINUTE --

NOOOOOOOOOOO

“DON’T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT, I HAVE TO SAVE SOMETHING FOR THE FINALE” HORIKOSHI YOU BETTER WATCH OUT, I’M COMING FOR YOU WITH A TWO BY FOUR!! NOT THAT I’M UNGRATEFUL!! BUT JESUS CHRIST, YOU CAN’T JUST DO THAT, AND THEN ALMOST DO THAT, AND THEN NOT!! OMG I HATE YOU

sure let’s cut to Thirteen then, yay. I mean I’m glad they’re alive lol, don’t get me wrong

(ETA: I think that might have sounded a bit sarcastic so I just want to clarify that I really am happy Thirteen is alive and on the job again lol.)

it’s just that if your name doesn’t begin with Baku or Deku I honestly am not interested for just these next five minutes okay lol. like I’m just gonna be completely honest. I am too invested lol, please, they were having a moment, JUST LET ME HAVE THIS PLEASE

OH DAMN U.A. GOT SWOLE AF

THIS SCHOOL HAS BEEN JUICING WTF. I THOUGHT YOU WERE TARTARUS LOL

I’m literally not even reading the speech bubbles though omg I’m so sorry. I really hope there is not a quiz, I promise I will come back to it later scroll scroll scroll

okay so they brought him back to U.A. and he’s all tired and out of it yes

oh goody Hagakure knows all about the security system

(ETA: is it just me or is Horikoshi really laying it on thick with the hints about these two guys lately? I’m on to you sir.)

THAT’S WONDERFUL NEWS. GLAD THIS CRITICAL KNOWLEDGE IS SAFE IN THE HANDS OF THE PEOPLE THAT WE TRUST

ffs Deku

WHAT WILL IT EVEN TAKE TO CONVINCE YOU THEN?? SWEET JESUS

-- holy shit, what??!

they know?? how did they find out??! holy shit???

I’m about to cancel the whole of Japan lmao. fucking try me dudes

-- THE PRINCIPAL!?

NEZU GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW!! WHAT THE FUCK

“a ticking time bomb” tell you what, this man is just asking to be punched in the face. literally begging for it omg

(ETA: I have been advised that I misread this part; Rat Principal told everyone how safe U.A. was, but he’s not the one who ratted out Deku; that was “the rumors”, apparently. which, if I had to guess, were probably started by AFO.)

oh I see, so it’s to be Feels, Part II then

he looks so sad and tired and lonely and she goes right for the hand, god bless. though if Kacchan’s not gonna hug him, you’d think someone would at least. or is it because he still smells bad. hmm

AND THE CHAPTER’S ENDING ON HER LOL WELL OKAY THEN

I MEAN IT’S GREAT AND ALL, I LOVE OCHAKO REALLY I DO, BUT WE WERE PROMISED GREAT EXPLOSION MURDER GODS, WHAT GIVES SOB. I WAS ALL READY TO BREAK OUT INTO SONG AND EVERYTHING. SURE, HE DID THE APOLOGY, BUT WHERE IS THE FOLLOW-UP GODDAMMIT

(ETA: just to clarify the reason for my rambling here, I was really waiting for the hero name reveal and the presumed deeper meaning behind it lol. but I guess that is a conversation still to come! and we still need Deku’s response to the apology too for that matter. lots to look forward to still.)

WELL WHATEVER, SO THAT IS THE END OF THE CHAPTER! SHOUT OUT TO MY BOY RAT “LET ME JUST TELL EVERYONE IN THE ENTIRE WORLD ABOUT DEKU’S SUPER SECRET IDENTITY, I GUESS THAT’S ALL RIGHT NOW, NOTHING BAD COULD POSSIBLY COME OF THIS” PRINCIPAL. listen here you little shit

anyway but if you’ll excuse me... IF I COULD TURN BACK TIME. IF I COULD FIND A WAY. I’D TAKE BACK THOSE WORDS THAT HAVE HURT YOU, AND YOU’D STAY. I DON’T KNOW WHY I DID THE THINGS I DID. I DON’T KNOW WHY I SAID THE THINGS I SAID. PRIDE’S LIKE A KNIFE, IT CAN CUT DEEP INSIDE. WORDS ARE LIKE WEAPONS, THEY WOUND SOMETIMES. BUM~ BUM~ BUM~, I DIDN’T REALLY MEAN TO HURT YOU. BUM~ BUM~ BUM~, I DIDN’T WANNA SEE YOU GO. I KNOW I MADE YOU CRY, BUT BABAY, IF I COULD TUUUUURN BACK TIIIIIIIIIIIME...

[infiniteglitterfall]

holy crap you wanna see some ace history? cause boy do i got some aroace history for ya right here

You know, I never really look for this stuff in the STRAIGHT world. By which I mean, in mainstream publications rather than queer ones. But I realized that Open Library lets you do a full text search. In ALL their books at once.

So I threw "asexuality" in there.

I had to scroll past several that meant plants and one-celled organisms, and several more that meant agender or unisex, of course.

And then I got to one from 1981 that had an entire chapter called "The Asexual Revolution."

It started out with a lot of stuff about how shocking it is, to most people, when someone lacks sexual desire.

So, right off the bat, we can tell that the author actually knows what asexuality is, and means asexuality. But I still kinda expected that, after he went on to quote people and give examples, he would work his way back around to something that ultimately used asexuality to... make being allo even better, or something. You know. Like, "oh, this people don't even need sex, so you and I can surely be pickier about our sexual encounters" or some damn thing. N O P E

I'm gonna give you the title and author after the following excerpts. But I encourage you to imagine what kind of book this might be. A political best-seller? A self-help book? An artistic memoir? An obscure collection of essays? Something else entirely?

"Can someone be called asexual if he masturbates? Does asexual mean that someone is free of sexual thoughts? Or is it someone free of sexual actions only? What is the word to describe the person whose only sexual expression is occasional, or even frequent, masturbation?"

I literally stumbled across an ace community site just the other day, in which aces, in 2007 or so, were having the exact same discussion.

He continues:

"There is no word to describe the person who doesn't have sex with another person but who does masturbate and/or does have sexual feelings and thoughts. This omission in our language covers millions of people and should be a clue to how uncomfortable we are with sexuality sans partner.

"Is the partnerless man of our age missing anything? To have a sexual release, he can always masturbate. He saves time, because pursuing, courting, and seducing women is very time-consuming and nerve-wracking. If he is a workaholic, he has more time for his favorite pastime."

You can see there that he's aroace. If he weren't also aro, he would still expect to worry about "courting."

"I hated myself when I wasn't having sex with a partner, because I bought the American Myth - sexuality equals masculinity. When asexual, I felt humiliated, so I pretended to be sexual. I could not talk with other male friends about it for fear of ridicule. I shocked a close buddy once when I confided in him, 'I find sex boring.' I never should have said that, because he was so genuinely shocked that he kept bringing it up years later. 'It amazes me that you find sex boring.'

Note: I don't think that he's saying he's only ace sometimes, as in, that's only his orientation some of the time. I think that he's stuck on splitting hairs around the definition: he's saying that there have been times when he did masturbate, or maybe, when he tried to have a sexual relationship. And that it felt less humiliating to be in the closet.

Another important note: that means that he could only be in the closet when actively in a relationship, not when single, unless he lied when single and claimed to be having sex with people.

Quite the contrast to what exclusionists always claim -- that bi+ and a-spec people are assumed straight unless seen with a same-gender partner.

"The prejudice against asexuality and solo sexuality is too great. Ironically, though, sex without a partner is normal. It's okay to have a life without sex with another. It's also okay to not even masturbate. The pressure for sex is too overwhelming. It deprives some people of their autonomy, forcing them to play certain standardized sexual stereotypes."

This... this is basically an asexual manifesto. An aroace manifesto.

From 1981.

Are you ready for the reveal?

[Image description: the cover of The War Between The Sheets: What's Happening With Men In Bed And What Women And Men Are Doing About It. By Jerry Rubin & Mimi Leonard; foreword by Paul Lowinger, M.D. The text is in turquoise, the title in large, curly magenta and dark blue letters. The background appears white, but then turns out to be white pillows and white bed sheets.]

Jerry Rubin.

I had forgotten who Jerry Rubin even was. Then I googled him. And found out that, of course, he was a famous anti-war activist during the 60s and 70s.

He started the protest movement against the war in Vietnam.

He, Abbie Hoffman, and bi activist Paul Krassner co-founded the Youth International Party, or Yippies, which (as far as I know) created the kind of attention-getting, theatrical activism that we would later see in ACT UP and Queer Nation.

They were members of the Chicago 7, originally the Chicago 8, arrested for their anti-war protests.

All of which I only know because for Bi+ History Month, I made an "ambience/studying" video that lets you pretend you're in the brand-new Columbia Queer Student Lounge, in 1971. (The first-ever gay student group, and first-ever gay student lounge. Courtesy of bi activist Stephen Donaldson.)

And it includes an interview their college radio station did, at the time, with Abbie Hoffman, about "Steal This Book."

Now I know that there are other chapters in Rubin's book called “Three Cheers for the Tongue and the Finger” and “Learning from Lesbians.” So I guess I'm less surprised.

When his parents died within a year of each other, leaving him in charge of his 13-year-old brother Gil, Jerry took Gil to Jerusalem, studied sociology there, and worked in a kibbutz. Before returning to the States, Jerry went to Cuba to learn first-hand about the Cuban revolution.

He went to UC Berkeley in 1964, but dropped out to focus on activism. He protested a local grocer's refusal to hire Black employees. He ran for mayor to expose his opponent's racism, and to promote Black Power, protest the Vietnam War, and promote cannabis legalization. And he organized the Vietnam Day Committee: leading the earliest big protests against the war, and helping plan the world's largest teach-in against the war.

Most notably, "he led Vietnam Day Committee activists in stopping troop trains [loaded with napalm and] bound for the Oakland Army Terminal — a series of demonstrations that shook Pentagon planners and inspired antiwar protests around the world."

His work continued, including mobilizing the massive 1967 March on Washington to protest the war.

His activism quickly landed him in front of the House Unamerican Activities Committee, HUAC. As socialist journal Against The Current reminisces:

"The whole premise of HUAC still depended on witnesses’ fear of being identified as Communists. Jerry dressed up for his committee appearance as an 18th-century American revolutionary, proudly claiming to be a descendant of Jefferson and Paine. 'Nothing is more American than revolution,' Jerry insisted.

"He used his time before the committee to expose the segregationist past of key committee members and their ties to Pentagon contractors."

He also blew bubbles at his HUAC hearing.

When he was imprisoned for three and a half months as a result of the Chicago 7 trial, he used the time to write "Do It: Scenarios of the Revolution," a book "about getting off the fence and bringing about change, the manuscript of which was smuggled out of jail by his lawyer."

And now we know that, based on this later book, he was aroace and intersex!!!!

(I have not read the intersex chapter, but evidently the whole thing was initially going to be about the experience of living with an intersex variation - which he didn't have those words for at the time. Instead, it expanded to address the way that sexual and gender politics, especially sexuality and masculinity, are tied together.)