#sometimes i need to write this stuff because its fun and easy

[icewindandboringhorror]

finally finished all of one character's entire quests/optional dialogue/questions/etc.... 100,000 words... .... aughhh

[beatcroc]

listen. i love pizza tower with my whole heart & mind. you know this. you Know. but first and foremost i am a character design bitch, and the pizzas are, frankly, very bland. this is not a critique or a complaint, because obviously That's Not The Point and more importantly i would be horrified if anyone tried doing that much animation with anything more complex than what's there. but also it means when i get a taste of some truly whack ass insane design work again it is like fuuuucking catnip

[saetoru]

Tee…

I’m now on my hands and knees BEGGING for bully Gojo who is (secretly) DISGUSTINGLY IN LOVE over the reader PLEASE ANY CRUMBS I WILL TAKE

(you don’t actually have to write this it was just a nice thought)

idkkkkk if it’s rly bully gojo—but he’s definitely a real cunt for sure.

i just think about an asshole! gojo a lot like he’s ur lab partners or something and he does that stereotypical jerk move where he’s like “seriously ?? her ??” when he’s first paired with you. and he’s just naturally an douche, yk ?? wears sunglasses indoors and makes jokes at the professors expense under his breath that gets him snickers and snorts from his frat guys in his class. has to be asked more than once to “please keep it down in the middle of class” by wtv prof he’s in class with.

and he ofc makes u do all the work bc he can’t be bothered—and on the rare occasion that he is bothered, he just does a poor job that’s the bare minimum and sloppy enough that ur like wtv i’ll just do it myself. and then ofc sometimes u don’t have a choice but to meet up to finish something after class every now and then—he wouldn’t care to, but he actually needs to know the stuff for the final report he has to write individually, so he begrudgingly meets up with you, and sometimes you notice his friends give you an amused look when he walks up with them. they snicker before they leave as he sits with you. sometimes they make a snide comment here and there like “have fun with ur super hot date” that makes him roll his eyes—he doesn’t do much to hide the look of distaste on his face.

but then—and he doesn’t even know when it happens—you start to slowly grow on him. because ur actually pretty snarky urself, sometimes making a dry comment here and there about the professor and his stupid bald headed self. sometimes a girl in the distance laughs too hard a group of guys that u roll ur eyes and mumble how “if i had a voice like that i’d never laugh in public” and it makes him snort a bit without meaning to. sometimes you stare daggers at the person who has their music so loud thru their headphones they can’t help but notice u and turn it down in embarrassment. ur actually not as much of a pushover as he thought—you just genuinely think he’s too incapable to help u out that you’ve just shrugged him off and started doing his part. it’s an easy weekly lab class anyway, you don’t need him—and then he realizes that u rly just don’t care for him. his little snickers at u with his friends and their snide comments roll off ur back bc well…he’s him—an asshole little frat boy and u didn’t expect anything better from him. so it makes him a little intrigued—maybe a little wounded in his pride, deep down, because no one has ever been indifferent to him before. they’re either madly in love, or they hate his guts, or they follow his lead. either works—he still gets the attention he craves.

but u just don’t rly care. and ur actually pretty cool, and kinda sorta funny in a way no one else is. he likes it…and fuck, now he’s starting to like you. he can tell bc when his friends ask how his little date with you went, he starts getting a bit huffy ab it bc they don’t need to talk about you. they don’t even know you…but also….its not a date. and that’s the worst part. sometimes it feels like a date. almost—sometimes you both decide to take a break in between and go get a coffee or a light snack. sometimes he’s even paid (to which you look mildly shocked before politely thanking him) and you both walk back to the library while u make light banter and it’s…well, fun. and nice. and your laugh is pretty. and your smile is kinda cute and he (though he hates to admit it) rly likes it when u laugh because of him.

and then things start to get messy—really, he didn’t mean for it to start this way. he really was meaning to ask you in a genuine manner to see u again once the semester was finished. because he’s actually started pulling his weight—he wants u to see him for someone who’s smart. satoru is actually rly rly smart and no one knows it because he doesn’t rly show it but he is. he wants u to see that side of him—somehow there’s some sick validation he rly needs from you knowing he’s not a dense frat guy who drinks and fucks until 3 am every night. so he starts doing his parts and actually communicates with u about sections. so starts ur texting routine—sometimes a little longer than u rly need to for just doing a lab together. sometimes it’s “did u hear ab that girl in our class getting dumped in front of the kfc ??” and sometimes it’s “god our prof rly needs to get some pussy” and other times it’s “look what the guy who sits behind us just posted on his story” and it leads to a few long convos that admittedly…are rly fun. ur so fun. he likes it. he rly does like u and he thinks maybe….maybe he’s grown on u too and you know what ?? satoru’s always a jerk but ur nice and who’s to say he can’t be nice too ?? just for one person. for u, he can be a nice guy—u carried lab all on ur own long enough that u deserve it anyway.

until he gets swayed in that way only a coward can. in that way you do when ur used to being “the man” around ur friends and ur too pressured to keep up that energy for appearances sake bc u don’t wanna be the laughing stock who softened up for “some nerdy chick who’s a nobody.” so he laughs when they laugh at the fact that ur probably “still a virgin who’s never touched a guy before” and then they’re patting gojo on the back and shoving at his shoulder as they laugh harder and suggest that “y’know what would be so funny man ?? if u took her virginity. you could probably do it.”

the thought is sickening because…satoru wouldn’t want to fuck you like that. god, you have him caring about when and how he fucks you—in fact, just thinking about you lewdly makes him feel guilty. disrespectful, even. you’re more than a fleshlight for his dick. since when did he become so respectful ?? but he doesn’t know how to say no, especially when everyone starts agreeing one after the other—and oh no, now they’re betting on how quickly he can do it….and oh, now it’s not just fucking. now it’s “how long until you think she’s head over heels for you? man, that would be a sight, huh ??”

and….well, satoru decides it couldn’t hurt, right ?? he does want to be romantically involved so that would include you being head over heels. hopefully. fingers crossed. and he doesn’t rly want to seem lame in front of the guys either, so he gets to keep both sides of the coin, so is it really that bad ?? maybe not the right idea but certainly the right execution. he’ll treat you well—that much he’s confident of. so he forces out a laugh and says “gimme a month or two, you’ll see.”

and a month or two they give him. and a month or two it takes—but not for you to be head over heels. it’s him who’s utterly and completely obsessed and fallen head first and whatever else they say to describe love because wow. this must be what it is. this must be that stupid fairytale shit they always talk about because fuck, no one has ever looked at him like that. like he’s some miracle to this earth and some wonder only you know of—like you hope it stays that way and that he’s yours and yours alone and no one else comes in to take him away. satoru really likes being yours, it kinda feels better than you being his. being yours means you hold him like that at night and wake him up to a kiss between his brows and sometimes, when he gets those migraines he’s prone to getting, you always seem to know. always seem to understand when to close the blinds and keep quiet and wrap him up in the covers as you rub your thumbs over his temples soothingly.

he almost forgets about that silly little bet he made two months ago when he’s around you. actually, he forgets everything when he’s around you. he’s only ever thinking about you, you, you. when he comes back to his frat house, on the other hand, they’re all gathered around waiting for the newest details. how you must’ve been so pathetically star struck by him. how you must be embarrassingly bad at kissing. how you must stutter over every other word around him. how you must be making a complete and utter fool of urself trying to impress him and be someone you’re not bc the real you would never pique his interest.

they’re wrong ofc. if anyone’s star struck, it’s satoru bc how the hell are u so…cool ?? and so funny and witty and carefree ?? and you’re good at kissing—have him chasing your lips with a whine every time. sometimes you even chuckle at him when he does and make him blush a bit. he’s the one who stutters over his words when he sees you in your little date night outfits. sometimes he watches you drink from your straw and his brain short circuits a little until you snap at him and ask him in confusion if he’s alright. but the real kicker ?? it’s that if anyone’s pretending, it’s satoru. you’re always just you—unapologetically so, that it’s endearing and beautiful and so unearthly he wonders how he got so lucky. but him ?? he’s always acting like some guy he’s not. some chivalrous guy who opens doors and pushes out seats and kisses the back of hands and waits at least a few dates before even considering fucking. some nice, sweet, genuine guy who’s deserving.

he’s not that—never was. if you knew the real him, you’d leave in a heartbeat. it’s a scary thought. a raw feeling he doesn’t like. makes him feel all self conscious and insecure and all that weird shit he never thought he’d feel.

he tries. so hard, he tries to make them forget about that silly little bet and just slowly drop it and maybe even forget ur dating so he can just stay living this peaceful little fantasy with you—but that’s stupid. that’s naive. it’s been 4 months and enough is enough—the guys need to see the look on ur face when u realize what a fool ur being and satoru is “being a lazy ass who’s too comfortable not having for work for pussy these days.” so then there’s a video going around. it’s everyone gathered around on the couch drunk and talking about you. and satoru. you both, in fact. how it’s been two months and u seem desperate for his attention with the shrill little voice you use to call him toru, baby! it’s so, so fucking embarrassing, they say. how you think he likes it. (he does. god he does so much, it hurts. he loves it, actually, when you call him that. makes him feel special in a way he never has.) but then, the worst, most disgustingly nauseous part of the whole thing is when satoru laughs along and plays into their awful words. just lets them talk about you like you’re some piece of meat. something for him to chew up and spit out after he has a taste or you. not even worth savoring and enjoying. he laughs along and agrees—you’re nothing special and he can’t wait until he’s free of you.

that part hurts. that part sucks the most—when he acts like he didn’t tremble under your touch every time you kissed him. like he didn’t beg you to stay just five more minutes! before walking out the door to go home. he acts one way in front of you and one way in front of them and what’s worse ?? you don’t know which one is real. couldn’t tell even if your life was on the line to decide. because there’s no way he’s that good at pretending to be desperately in love, no fucking way. but there’s also no way he can be in love if he’s talking about you like that. that’s not what love is—that’s not what love feels like. that’s not what it means to someone.

you don’t know which satoru is the real one, but you know that neither is worth your time. not if he can’t stick to it.

it’s terrible thing—the way you break up. it’s messy and teary and he’s begging, he’s actually begging. he never thought he’d do that. but he doesn’t even hesitate to plead for you to hear him out. baby, please let me explain. wait, please don’t walk away—please just listen! i can explain.

he can’t explain, though when you as him to. stands there with a bitten bottom lip and teary eyes that are pleading you to just stay with him. to overlook this and just … ignore it like it’s nothing. like what he did and said was just nothing and you can shrug it off like you’re nothing too. like your feelings are nothing and so is your worth and that’s why you should just ignore the way he absolutely destroyed your pride and reputation and dignity and worse….every ounce of your love.

such deep, raw, pure love—it’s almost enough to heal every dry crack and crevice of this earth and bring it back to life.

you look at him with teary eyes and something so broken, it makes him feel like dirt beneath your feet.

“it’s embarrassing, satoru,” you hiss that night through tears, “you’re in your twenties getting a degree and you’re still just a high school bully. life’s really gonna kick you in the ass some day.”

life’s already kicking him in the ass as soon as you walk out. the air is colder. the world is dimmer. food doesn’t taste as good and fuck—there is just so much loneliness when you have no one to be yourself with. when there’s no you.

but he supposes you’re right though—he is just a bully. it’s pathetic, really. and maybe it’s for the best. maybe you don’t deserve someone who’s only ever known how to feel good because someone else doesn’t.

[koolades-world]

hiii i was wondering if you could write abt an asian mc ? with the brothers or the dateables i don't mind! i just think it would be funny to see yk asian mc who's a high achiever (so even at RAD when they know nothing abt magic they'll try to score high), always take off their shoes before entering a place (entering a place with shoes is forbidden !!), always cook rice or stuff from their country when on cooking duties ("wdym we already ate that when it was my turn last time?"), will make you special herbal tea if you're sick (first time i suggested to make tea for my ill white friend they laughed :( ), tells you to eat more and in the same fashion, whose love language is giving you food, etc... bonus point if mc swears in their mother tongue. And if the MC was living in their native country before going to the devildom, their ability to just nap anywhere as if it's normal.

As someone who grew up in an asian household it's just regular to me but i can picture the face Lucifer would make if the first time mc enter Dia's castle they take off their shoes casually or like MC stuffing Beel's mouth with food as if he just didn't swallow the biggest mouthful of udon ever saying "come on Beel you need food, you need strength to play Fangol"

For the nap thing i was thinking about my relatives who take nap on their wooden bad or just the floor during summer (cause its fresh yk). My grandma always said a hard bed is good for the back lol

Anyway no pressure!! Have a nice day and take care !

hi!! yes of course :)

i'm a different flavor of asian but some of the culture overlaps so this was fun to write! haha the amount of times my grandma has urged me to eat more is hard to count. oh and the amount of tea i drank when we went to visit. i'll never forget watching her make the tea because it was a whole experience

i'm half indian and someone actually requested an indian mc so that will be out tomorrow because doing these requests back to back easiest for me!

enjoy <3

Asian Mc

Lucifer

you're ALWAYS on him for the amount of coffee he drinks

you also always make sure he takes a break to eat dinner because he needs to eat in order to continue his work

despite how bothered he might seem sometimes, he really does value what you do for him

plus, you not only keep yourself in line, sometimes you do his brothers for him too. thanks on his behalf!

Mammon

once you grow closer, he's asking you to teach him swear words so he can cuss out lucifer

if you don’t, well, he’ll just pick them up when you swear and hope he can figure out what it means haha

if you want, feed him random words, or even compliments so when lucifer hears them, he'll just be confused haha

despite the fact that he's the demon, maybe you can help him in class

Levi

when he first meets you, he'd not sure what to expect

however he quickly learns you're the best at everything you do

this includes video games and everything of that manner

he's got competition now, but he has no clue how you got so good considering it was probably your first time at all of the games you've tried

Satan

he's impressed by your work ethic and desire to achieve

you got dropped in a totally new environment and instead of struggling to adjust like he predicted, you bounced back almost immediately and were at the top of your class like it was nothing!

he tried to ask you once why you seemed so determine to get the best grade and never asked again after the look you gave him

something the two of you can bond over, though, is tea! he can often be seen with a cup of tea so that's an easy conversation starter between the two of you if not homework instead

Asmo

while initially he thought you two might not get along, you actually do quite well

he's huge on no shoes in the house and especially in his room

after all, he wants to avoid bringing as many outside germs into his room as possible

can and will ask you to teach him how you make your special herbal teas because he hates being sick and genuinely just wants to know

Beel

he falls in love with your rice cooker

rice that easy and that quick? sign him up! if he didn't already love rice you've put him on it

he doesn't think he could ever part with you and your wonderful cooking

even if you do cook the same thing every time it's your turn, he will inhale it because not only is it delicious, but you're an amazing cook

Belphie

even he's impressed by your ability to fall asleep anywhere

at least he's always with his pillow and maybe a blanket but he's seen you just curled up on the porch waiting for someone to get home

but that sighting was rare, because he felt like he always saw you doing something

however he really appreciated all the little things you did for him, such as making his bed

[etoilesombre]

You know what? People shouldn't feel bad about liking things in fandom, or creating things that make them happy. I'm absolutely vagueposting, but this really isn't about one post, it's about a tone I've noticed popping up again lately from multiple people (including people I follow and generally respect!)

-"They absolutely cannot fuck! So crazy people would think about that and be into it, it would break canon! "

-"Mod AU doesn't work, they're Serious Characters they aren't gonna run a coffee shop its OOC! "

-"Actually, fun fluffy fic about them at all during a certain era doesn't work!"

I get it. I agree with a fair part of it. People post all kinds of asinine shit that I hate actually. But you know where I bitch about it? Privately in group chat.

Let people fucking have fun. I get the sense that many people come to this fandom specifically because it's Serious and Challenging and you want to Do Serious Analysis. I think a lot of folks around these parts either are in school and not having a good time about it, or wish that they had gone into better academia that doesn't really exist, and they're getting that need met here. And that's great! For real!

But you know what else is fine? People who either don't have that need, or are getting it met in other parts of their lives, and come here for stress relief and a fun free hobby.

Of course they can't fuck for real! It's not in the text, they simply don't. But the tension is obviously written in, and playing with possibilities can be fun! Also if you can't see how it could happen and still not fix shit, that's a skill issue. Fic authors aren't stupid, we don't fail to understand canon, but not everything has to be everything all the time. Sometimes you want to do all the work and try to match the level of writing in the show, and sometimes you want to have something nice and easy. The show is REALLY well written and what it needs to be, the point of transformative works is playing with what it's NOT. Some people cope with fluff, or good ending everybody lives AUs, and it might be so totally valid to look down on that, but maybe being publicly correct might be less important than being kind?

Actually, the main thing I want to say is that if YOU reading this are a person who wants to write a cute coffeeshop AU, or be horny on main about your boys kissing, it's actually fine!! At least, it historically has been fine. This is a really small fandom now and not that many people are actively creating, please don't be discouraged by this stuff, because the people who criticize on tumblr are actually not the majority. The REASON they criticize is that, if you go to AO3 and sort by kudos, much of it is this super sweet OOC stuff! It looks like that's most of what there is, because a lot of readers in the wild who watch the show and look up fic like it!

Anyway. Let people have fun, it doesn't cost you anything, and not every thought needs to be public. It actually does discourage people.

[catscidr]

Could we get some Dottore x escaped experiment reader? Gn if possible, doesn't even have to be smut. I just can't find anything along those lines and I like your writing style :)

i. note — hehehoho i might have uuuhhh used this ask as an excuse to go off a lil and try something new teehee °ᗜ°) but this was really fun to write!! thank you nonnie for the suggestion, and thank you very much for liking my stuff enough to req something!!! i hope u all enjoy ii. includes — dottore, gn!reader iii. cw — unhealthy and toxic dynamics, no dialogue, mentions of cannibalism, mild body horror, one (1) dead body, not quite stockholm syndrome but maybe kinda, reader is a mess and dottore is not a good person (shocker). minors do not interact, age in bio or block. iv. wc — 2k -> posted on ao3 too!

To humans, running is what they do when they’re late to work, when they’re working out, or even when they’re playing games at recess as children. To predators, running is what they do in order to secure their next meal. To prey, running is what they must do so they can escape from the predator’s clutch in one piece, to not end up as a mangled corpse serving as someone or something’s food. 

You have more in common with prey than you have with humans, despite being one yourself. 

It hasn’t always been that way. One moment you were enjoying the warm afternoon sun of your home region out on a walk, and the other you found yourself thrown over someone’s shoulder with a bag over your head. 

You always find yourself reminiscing, yearning to feel the warmth you felt that day— minus the incident. You used to be a model citizen; someone people would rely on. 

A shame no one helped you when you desperately needed it. 

Your own mind is all you’re left with, as you’re clumsily tripping over your feet, rocks scraping your skin and blood trickling down your legs. The feeling is almost peaceful; but after running for so long, and with how often you’ve gotten yourself in this exact situation, you’re starting to second guess your motive for running in the first place. 

Is it a form of entertainment, are you growing bored of the four padded walls engulfing your five senses at all hours of the day that you feel the need to get the energy out of your body like a hamster does by using the wheel in its cage? Is it to leave the predicament you found yourself in after trusting someone you, under no circumstances, should have trusted? 

Or is it because you gradually have come to find yourself sharing more similarities to a dog, begging its owner to even unenthusiastically throw a plastic frisbee for a smidge of attention to fulfill your need to be seen, to be heard, and now you feel the responsibility to own up to that label you inflicted upon yourself? 

The lines between reality and your thoughts have blurred so much it frightens you. 

...Or, rather, it should scare you. After spending so much time in your own head, one would find that it’s surprisingly easy to come to distrust your own mind. You’re not sure if you should believe what goes through your head, even less believe what you feel. But at the same time, you’re all you have. You have no choice but to trust yourself, even when you shouldn’t. 

Only a select few are aware of how dreadfully strong and outright stubborn the human mind can be, whether it be from their own personal experience or from seeing others slip into a state like yours. 

Unfortunately for you, He’s familiar with your situation. Painfully familiar. 

… 

Sometimes you wish you were a luna moth. Delicate and radiant, people would be torn between praising you for your beauty and shunning you away for the crime of looking different than what they’re used to. You wouldn’t be a butterfly, would not conform to what society wants you to be. You would be able to be who you want, look however you want to without worrying over other’s opinions. 

The people that did like you, though, would treat you with care and would do everything in their power to make your stay in this world a pleasant one. A stay that would only last a week. 

Not long enough for you to become familiar with the horrors that await humanity. Seven days filled with nothing but genuine smiles, void of empty promises. 

You’d crawl out of your cocoon, eat good food, find someone to help continue your bloodline, then die somewhere peaceful and hope that your crumbling, decomposing body will bring relief to someone desperately needing something to eat. 

But you’re not a moth. 

… 

It’s unbearably cold when you come to your senses. Peeling your eyes open, you glance around to find yourself surrounded by cold limestone, barely illuminated by the cave’s entrance just a few feet away. The hairs on your skin rise from the wind guiding snow through the passageway, making you curl into yourself in a pathetic attempt to keep your body’s temperature from dropping too low. 

You look down at yourself; your pants are ripped at the hem, and you see messy splotches of brownish red staining the fabric and your skin, going all the way down to your calloused feet. You’re not sure how long you’ve been out for, but it must have been at least an hour given how the bleeding from the numerous scratches and gashes on your legs stopped without any assistance. 

The cave felt completely foreign to you, but even then, it brought you more comfort than He had. Or at least you think it does. 

You feel free. Despite the way your body shivered endlessly from the wind howling into the cavern, despite the dull but searing pain that made it feel like your feet were scorching that traveled up your legs, despite the way you couldn’t move your lips from how dry and cracked they were, split from sheer cold. 

You think this is the most freedom you’ve felt since you’ve gotten yourself stuck in His maw. 

... 

The wind is reduced to a soft, soothing melody when you wake up again. Almost calming enough for you to drift off to sleep a second time, but a nagging feeling in the depths of your gut told you that it was a bad idea to fall unconscious this time around, so you try to shake off the numbness in your limbs instead of succumbing to the call of the void. 

Standing up proves to be a challenge as your legs buckle under your weight. You catch yourself before you fall, holding onto the rough formation of a rogue stalagmite; it’s a struggle to hold yourself up, but at the very least you didn’t give yourself a concussion. 

The pain isn’t completely unwelcome, though. Your feet are throbbing, and the palm of your hand holding yourself up with the help of the stalagmite stings. As you blink the drowsiness away and the blood begins to flow through your limbs correctly again, you straighten your back to take in your surroundings properly. 

The cave’s entrance was filled with thick snow. There was enough that it would reach your stomach should you walk up to it, ignoring the snow that fell into the grotto, and not the snow that partly obscured your way to the outside world. You can’t see much outside, only the faint outline of pine trees wavering in the distance, far enough that you can only barely make out their form. 

Looking away from the blinding whites outside, you notice how utterly desolate the cavern is. Not even a single trace of a life was left behind in this cold, worn hollow. Maybe it’s better this way. You’re not sure you would have appreciated seeing even a wild hare or a fox in here, much less a bear. 

Sitting down on the rocky ground again to give your legs a break, you take a moment to think back to what got you here in the first place. 

You faintly recall rusty medical equipment, convulsing organs, and seeing Him jot down notes. You remember a plate being handed to you, the vague image of a man covered by a stained sheet of what used to be white, and the bile that rose to your throat when your gaze focused on what was on the plate itself. 

Everyone knew the Doctor was a twisted man, but you doubted He was twisted enough to force someone to cannibalize one of their peers. 

Clearly, you were wrong. 

Then, you remember making a mad dash for the thick iron doors of his laboratory. By the grace of god, you were able to leave; and you now found yourself in this desolate cavern, tucked away from civilization. 

As far as you were aware of. 

But you shouldn’t trust your mind. You knew this, yet you also knew not to trust yourself when you told yourself you couldn’t trust yourself. Simultaneously believing in logic and being a mess of paradoxical jargon— it exhausted you to think about. So you try not to. 

Whether by a stroke of bad luck or because of something else entirely, your dull sense of hearing picks up the faint sound of snow crunching beneath boots. Your hands and legs scramble to take you where you can hide as much of yourself as you can behind a rock formation, and you stare out of the cave’s entrance, holding your breath. 

The sound becomes louder. An almost gentle woosh noise accompanies the scrunch of snow, and soon after it stops, you’re able to make out a blurry figure approaching the cave’s entrance. The icy flakes make way for Him at His command, hand waving to get rid of what was keeping you physically separated from Him. 

The pure white snow behind His body glinted off his intricate accessories, the light forming a halo so otherworldly that it left you utterly breathless. 

His boots make a soft clicking noise against the limestone as He steps into the grotto, your safe haven for however long you had been here— now not. Not a single word left His lips as he assessed your rugged appearance. 

You wish He would smite you right then and there. He was most likely able to, and with ease, but you doubt He would willingly discard one of his longest-running experiments for disobeying a rule that you had broken many times before anyways. 

Your jittery gaze follows His movements as He outstretches His arm, offering you a gloved hand, silent. 

Did he know how much you simultaneously trusted and distrusted your own judgement? You stare at His hand, unmoving, heart racing against your ribcage— torn between bolting away, into the darkness of the cave, or intertwining your fingers with His, allowing Him to take you away voluntarily. 

This was mercy either way. You could either die at the hands of whatever lurked in the shadows of the grotto, or you could die at the hands of the man that brought you so much pain it morphed into comfort, solace. He stood, unmoving. Observing you. 

You knew Him well enough to know that He was taking mental notes on your behavior even now, outside of the familiar comfort of his lab in Haeresys. 

Both options were foolish, but you weren’t exactly known to be in the sanest state of mind. 

Pulling your arms away from your body, you bring a shaky hand up to take ahold of His, allowing Him to pull you up to your feet. You almost fall as a result of your nerves, but thanks to His quick reflexes you find yourself tucked in his arms, cheek pressed up against His navy cravat. The hand that wasn’t holding yours comes up to pat your head, gently untangling the knots that had formed in your hair. You melt into His touch, eyes fluttering shut to bask in the warmth He provided. 

As you stand there with Him, knees weak, body upheld by His will alone, you shove down the thoughts that brew in the forefront of your mind. Usually you would welcome the noise, even be grateful that you, at the very least, had yourself to lean on. But you find yourself wishing to lean on Him more than yourself, both literally and metaphorically, keening at the comfort He brought you. 

You knew you couldn’t trust your mind, so why not trust His instead? If you couldn’t rely on your own instincts, judgement or thoughts, then how bad would it truly be to let someone other than you become fully responsible for your wellbeing? 

... 

You were neither a moth nor human.

You were a dog.

[scary-lasagna]

Hello!:D i was wondering if you could do Jeff and Ben with a child reader?:0 platonic obvi!^^ but there really mean and stuff but its bc of trauma?:D if not ignore this<3

oh dear, i'm sorry I didn't catch the mean part! I'll be writing a second one with your spare ask don't worry!! :]

Platonic!Jeff & Ben

Ben is like stupidly amazing with kids.

Sally loves him, she thinks he's the coolest in the manor and lets her say bad words sometimes, and even has a tea party once in a while.

Jeff isn't the greatest, and usually has a knack for making small children cry.

So when an orphaned child wanders up to the manor, and they're scheduled to babysit until Slender gets home, they agree to watch you until sunset.

Jeff has absolutely no clue what to do with you, and doesn't even think to offer you a snack or something to drink.

Ben is already returning from the kitchen with little packets of crackers and one of Sally's juice boxes.

Jeff will pick you up and plop you down at the table, sitting next to you and try to make an attempt at conversation.

But again, he's terrible with children, and tries asking you if you've seen the new GTA 6 trailer.

You look at him weird before continue munching on your crackers. You even go as far as scooting away from him a little bit.

Jeff is embarrassed by a 5 year old, but pretends he's not bothered by it. Ben sees right through his facade, and snickers to himself behind a well placed cough..

Ben knows how make you feel more comfortable, asking questions about you, because what else would a 5 year old have to talk about?

Their whole world consists of things that they do, not whatever sport was on TV last night or a new game that's being released, you were too young for that talk. The most interesting person they know is themself.

But no matter how many questions Ben tries to ask, you don't give them a glimpse of information about how you got here.

"So, where were you before you found us?"

"Literally, I don't even know, stop asking me. But today I found a frog and I put him in my pocket, and then I started to play the drums and Roblox at the same time but the frog didn't like it and-"

They agree to take you to the game room so you can mess around with whatever you can get your grubby hands on, whether it be the foosball table, the N64 scattered on the ground, the 30,000 dollar pool table-

THE THIEIRTY THOUSNAND DOALRA-

Jeff is faster than Ben, and swoops you up with a 'nOOoonononono', and you think it's the funniest thing that he's holding you upside down, because you laugh so hard you run out of breath.

And while Ben re-organizes the pool balls back into their neat little triangle, Jeff has fun just swinging you about, finding it amusing how easy children are entertained.

One way up, one way back down, swing you around in a circle like a football, dangle you by an ankle and toss you up to catch you. Like a little rhythm game.

He remembers back to his own childhood, the moments where his parents actually liked being parents, and his father tossing hm repeatedly on the couch, which of course is passed down to you.

"Again!"

"AGAAINN??? UGGHH!"

And you think it's hilarious how he's so annoyed, yet does it anyway. And secretly, he loves it.

And Ben loves watching him love it, like he gets to see a glimpse into Jeff's past that he never wants to talk about.

But eventually, as all children do, you grow tired, and instead of running back toward Jeff, you stay on the couch and curl up to watch whatever is flickering on the TV.

Ben will return with popcorn, and Jeff is sitting on the ground in front of you, showing you how to play this old vintage game called "The Mario Bros." that's only 8 pixels deep in graphics quality.

Ben holds a somewhat bittersweet smile, as he walks over and delivers the popcorn. After some thought he joins in as Player 2, and let's you get the sleep you so much needed.

[artfromsaturn]

Saturn’s Free CSP Brush Recommendations, CS Asset Store Edition

I may sell brushes now, but I still love me some free brushes & love to share them with people.  These are a bunch of cool brushes made by other people that you can use to build up a nice library of tools without having to spend any cash on, perfect if you’re new to CSP or are on a budget.  If you do download these, be sure to like them & give some love to the artist if you enjoy them. :D

How to find: type in the Content ID or Ctrl/Command + C & P (copy and paste shortcuts) into the Clip Studio asset store on the Clip Studio application.  I’ll add a link as a preview but copying & pasting the content ID is easiest.  I have automatic translation ON, so sorry if you read some weird names.   Feel free to reblog this with your own suggestions, there’s many brushes out there I missed. :D  Check defsiarte’s suggestions too, and if you want to see my recommendations for stuff on Gumroad/DA & other places, check this tag.

Large Packs

“An analogue art supply" - 1813808 Huge pack of everything, including acrylic, oil, watercolor, marker, pen, & pencil.  I like the markers and sometimes use the acrylics too.

Crm's Toolbox, Watercolors, Markers, & other treasures

Fantastic use of texture and some cute effects pens.  The artist has posted everything from quality painting & drawing pens to quality glitter pens for writing.

The Old Default Assets - 1842027 & 1841759 These aren’t pictured, but if you ever see an older tutorial or video showcasing some default brushes you never had, it’s because CSP reworked its default tools around version 1.9.  Fortunately they rerelased them so anyone can redownload them. The old ones are still good to use, they’re just not included.

Painters - With Texture

Thiccpaint - 1707517 Never leave home without it.  I riot if I don’t have them on my computer..  They have the right combination of texture, shape, & blend with great handling and great variety.

Icyannyou's Momo Sets - user:Icyannyou Super cute packs that give a lovely painterly look.  The Storybook pack is fantastic, and even if you don't draw cute you can still use these painters & blenders to give your artwork character. :)

Thick Coating Brush Set - 1683127 I like these for background work, but it's a big pack of thick textured painters with good handling & neat effects.

Marredae's Brushes - user:Marredae This artist has a knack for textured brushes.  Very high rec, fantastic library of wet & dry painting/rendering tools.

Roro Oil - 1820057 Rompi is another user I enjoy the stuff of, and I'll recommend a few more brushes from them in other categories by the time this post is done.  Check 'em out!

Suika chalk -  1760304 Very useful rough chalk.  Sometimes, that’s all you need!

Sprongle -  1935694 A simple round brush with a nice rough tip.  Slightly rough without being too rough, great for quick paintings.

Johnnie halloween pack & Brokenhearted brushes... - 1876075 & 1938786, user:EnjieLemon EnjieLemon has some nice brushes in general, but some are paid for.  Still worth checking out due to their cheap clippy price (and clippy can be obtained for free).  The Brokenhearted brushes have a nice texture.  The Halloween pack includes a cute pumpkin stamp along with some easy to use chalk, oil, & watercolor brushes.  Compact and easy to use!

“Watercolor marker and texture set” - 1682349 There's a reason this set is one of the most downloaded on the asset store.  It's one of the best looking watercolor replicas out there, and even if you don't use the brushes, you can likely still find a use for the textures.  Great for soft coloring.

Grunge Brushes, Soft | Heavy | Complex Brushes & Xenomorphius' stuff in general -  user:xenomorphius Xeno drops some cool natural looking brushes out every so often for painting, inking, and dry media.  Please check 'em out!  The grunge brushes create a fun, grungy look like it says on the pack, & the soft/heavy/complex set can be used for painting as well as lining.  

Oil-h5 trial -  1976418 These brushes are hard to explain.  They work with the dual brush setting, & push around a layer of paint on top of your regular paint, creating a cool, streaky look.  They're a hidden gem.

MYNQZO brushes - 1993875 A pretty darn good set for painting.  I really love rough brush 2, it's great for sketching & rendering.

Painting, non-textured 

(basic rounds & other shapes for smooth rendering)

Kiminie71's Brush Set -  1728687 4 simple rounds that are great for rendering!   https://assets.clip-studio.com/en-us/detail?id=1728687

CHIMAKA Set -  1747974 Heavy drag paint that highlights well & applies thickly.  Great for bold shading.

Choms Paint -  1910936 It just gets me.  No further elaboration.

Honeypen<3 -  1786787 Fits great in my paint hand.  Very slidey & blends like intended!

Wet flat marker -  1917678 Super blending brush, gives super soft edges to paint.  Blends great.

oil mushblendiw -  1918739 Another simple & easy to use roundbrush.

Paint - 1760641 This plainly named brush is a triangle brush that goes between heavy & light with pressure.  The creator, Puppsicle, also sells some neat brushes on Ko-Fi if you enjoy this brush.

"The Scarlet Knot Brush Set 2" - 1916125 I use the watercolor of thought out of this set, but they're all pretty good & easy to use. https://assets.clip-studio.com/en-us/detail?id=1916125

Sunday - 1825825 A round brush with a watercolor border that gives a nice, sketchy feeling. https://assets.clip-studio.com/en-us/detail?id=1825825

Marker Brushes

Marker Texture Brush -1809506 A very nice subtly textured brush.  Has a nice instructional guide on how to get the best results with it. :D

Mirre's Marker set - 1749822 Another good brush with a subtle texture.  Comes with its own blender!

Woody Marker & Pencil set - 1772987 I also love the pencil in this pack.  Nice woody feel, feel free to turn off multiply.

Pencils & Sketchers

SU-Cream Pencil - 1761353 no wonder its popular.  Can be used for lineart, sketching, and coloring, this versatile brush delivers a great smooth look with a gentle textured end finish on pressure.

Write BoruPenP - 1753435 Probably the best ballpoint pen on Clip.  Please check out Pharan's things, I love them.😊

“Pencil-like Brush for Lineart” - 1692270 Ok this is kind of a weird way to recommend something.  It's SUPPOSED to be a pencil but I use it like a paintbrush with the opacity & density on pressure control, & another copy with blending turned on.  Whatever you use it for, you're sure to get a good result!

Grease pencil/china marker - 1774978 Chunky brush for chunky sketching needs.

Muda muda muda - 1715496 A pretty darn good dark pencil.

REDSketch soft - 1907313 just a nice sketcher!  Good for shading too.

MUGZ BRUSH - 1861032 A set of dry chalk & brushes.  Gives a fun messy look when used!

T Spade Pencil - 1769208 A pencil that looks great for lineart as well as sketches.  Good taper.

Magipencil 2 - 1755940 Utterly good for textured and smooth lineart.  These pens get me.  Can’t recommend them enough. :)

Pens & Inkers

G-pen 6 - 1767809 A generic name but a good Gpen with character.  Organic without sacrificing too much smoothness.

"Flat thick pen" - 1826131 I call it the card games pen.  I think you can see why.  Solid at high pressure, a little bit of texture at low pressure, and pretty great for sharp angles.

Haggiben_Lineart_Color - 1770988 A nice triangle liner.

Gabu Pen - 1894713 Very slightly rough pen on one side, another nice triangle-like liner.

Aeridus - user:Aeridis All 3 of their pens give a nice result.

Pilot Pen - 1895049 A great IRL brush now a digital one!

Fude set - 1726964 & 1759205 Heavy, beautiful ink!  The creator has some more good ink pens too, take a look. :D  

Dimi - 1763877 It's a ga,l with a knife and a nice calligraphy pen.  Can't ask for more. Turn on >particles "change with brush size" in settings to keep the shape without chaning.  

New Cali A nice set of Calligraphy brushes.  They have smooth transitions between big and small.  

Blend, Fill, & Erase

Noise and texture blur - 1842730 If you want a more painterly look to your blur, get these!  They said they're supposed to be turned from free to paid, but the artist hasn't come back and done it yet.  Will they do it?  I'm not sure. :0

Textured Blending & Blurs - 1904941 & 1971444 They're actually made by me, my apologies, but it's hard to find textured blenders by themselves.  Most are included in a set or are something you have to pay for, so I released a few free stand alone ones due to it.  Normal solid round blenders & blurs are easier to find & even easier to create yourself! https://assets.clip-studio.com/en-us/detail?id=1904941 https://assets.clip-studio.com/en-us/detail?id=1971444

Unhelpful Eraser - 1798605 The terrible hard eraser that you had in school becomes digital.  Download it as a tribute.

Quick Lasso Fill -  1978471 Fills up a lasso'ed area.

Random Color Fill - 1707873 Picks random spaces to fill.  The picture in the demonstration shows it better than I can describe.

Scratchy Coloring - 1845677 A fun scratchy brush that can fill areas up.

Quick Lasso Eraser - 1875033 This and the next brush are both @pharan​ ‘s again.  This does the same as the lasso fill, but erases as you can tell.

Erase along Edge - 1800143 An eraser that takes advantage of reference layers.  The description explains it in detail.

"Create Solid-irregularity set" aka adding texture to black solid ink patches - 1768052 These distress the paper, making it look more textured.  Easier to look at than to explain, click the link for more!

Mirre Cross Hatch Brush Set - 1972956 I love the look the spaced lines give.  Fantastic set.

Overlap Hatching (…"a texan"???) - 1712720 One of the most popular Clip Studio Hatchers for a reason, easy to apply hatchers that you can just keep adding to for a sparse or dense look.

Dust hatching brush - 1966237 Simple light hatcher with dust particles around it for a dusty feeling.

Cross-hatching Blur - 1684830

I actually recommend all of  user:もの区 ‘s stuff they have posted for crosshatching.  There’s a whole bunch of great free brushes there for anyone who enjoy hatching!

“Rough and Solid” - 1874629 A ribbon brush that makes good borders.

“Coarse Solid Erase” - 1872105 For those who like to fill an area, then erase the light parts away.

chaos brushes - 1569895 A great marbler.  

"Dirty cross hatching_monochrome" - 1727346 A nice, thick, analogue hatch.  SB has some great material in general, but most needs clippy.

Creepy Lines 1 & 2 - 1405766 & 1707236 Get some spooky lines into your art!

Simple Retro Halftone - 1802041 A small set that's easy to use to add some halftone texture.

retro halftone brushes - 1852027 A larger yet still easy to use set with more specific brushes to use for each color.

Mar's Halftones -  1949506 A set with a lot of fun patterns!  Check out SpiralPuzzle's stuff in general, they post some unique brushes.

Pixel Art

Pixel Brushes by tsiox - (small) 1971800 & (large) 1969097 THE Clip Studio pixel set.  Has a ton of tools & textures to use.  The small set is better for slower internet connections & if you don't want all the patterns.

Studio Screen Tones - 1803496 If you like Flipnote studios or need more dithers, get this!

Pixel Foliage Brushes - 1883082 I apologize for promoting my own assets again, but I promise they're useful if you're doing anything with grass, trees, or bushes! ;w; My basic set - 1910804 Another lighter set with a few noise brushes that are useful at tiny size.  Did my best not to overlap with tsiox’s set while covering the basics.

Bonus: two blending pixel brush sets.   Mao Pixel (1779745) & Scummy Pixel(1782455). They’re not for exact pixel art, they’re more for playing around with & painting. :)

[notquitedeadpod]

One of the cool things about Not Quite Dead is that because it's primarily just Alfie speaking about stuff it's very easy to let that flow and change as I go in a way that's very fun and liberating.

Unfortunately, this can mean that continuity issues happen, especially in the early episodes when I was convinced nobody was gonna listen to this show and I was writing it solely for myself. Those first episodes were written live; I'd write, record and release them. There were plans (I can't stop myself I love a plan) but they weren't super detailed and were more focused on all the little ways I wanted to indulge myself with this story rather than trying to keep a hold of all the details.

Writing a show like that was ABSOLUTELY what I needed in that moment and I love what I've made out of it. But it does mean there weren't many checks and balances in the beginning for things like continuity.

I don't feel too compelled to go back and alter what exists of this show. I made it specifically to have this easy flow and rhythm in its production and I wanted to avoid getting obsessed with going back and making corrections like I did when I was making SBR.

This does mean that sometimes, particularly in Season One, there are moments where the timeline doesn't properly hold or the continuity isn't perfect because the story is moving so much between its framing device and the memories Alfie is sharing that if you're not careful, important things get cut which ought not to have been.

Fortunately for me I have built in the world's best explanation for that and it's that Alfie's about to cark it for all of season one so it makes a lot of sense that his storytelling would be kind of whack. So I can blame him instead of me, which I prefer as he's made up and I'm not.

--- Eira xxx

[myfandomrealitea]

saw ur post about going incognito into spaces and stuff and i wanted to add my own thoughts about my experience of basically being stuck in places where proshippers r hated (not against wut ur saying! i definitely agree that theres no benefits and honestly its not that fun)

the fandom that im currently in is.. very toxic. someone got harassed to the point of having to delete their account bc they "supported" a proshipper (it was literally just them saying that u shouldnt harass this person just bc theyre proship-). a lot of my friends were very supportive of this person and agreed that ppl shouldnt be harassed over shit like that and many of them seem to have similar viewpoints as me (anti harassment and all that) but prefer to stay away from that stuff

the fandom is basically ran by antis. theres a small corner that some ppl have made where they talk about proship stuff freely (love those ppl so much theyre genuinely so nice) but overall its. not the best place to be if ur proship. which is interesting to me bc theres actually a shocking amount of proshippers that just... dont say anything. on my side blog ive had multiple ppl interact that i thought were anti (or at least just. not proship in some way) but would literally go and like all my posts about incest ships of the characters.

and sometimes i think about it and how theres actually a bunch of proshippers but we're so heavily harassed and silenced that we just- dont say anything. but the fandom is small and we cant exactly separate ourselves from it if we really like the show. and i feel especially bad for some of the bigger blogs that ppl love and adore bc i know wut would happen if somehow ppl found out and made some big post or wutever.

i dont pretend to be antiship but i dont outright say im proship unless i really trust that person

im currently trying to make my own lil space with some friends so at least if anything goes wrong i at least have a few ppl but its a bit scary to think about honestly-

Although it can be full of snot-nosed superiority complexes, I do recommend using the AO3 Subreddit in order to find likeminded people for your fandom. The very vast majority of the AO3 Subreddit is proship or at least proship neutral. Antis are generally eviscerated on sight whenever they try to poke their nose into it.

If you have any other fandoms that you are active in or have friends within, there's also no harm in introducing them to your small fandom.

From what I understand the Marvel fandom did kind of the same thing you're describing with the Starker shippers, but they flourished and supported each other anyway.

I know its easy for me to simply say 'do it anyway' as someone who generally could not give a fuck about anyone's opinion of me, but honestly. Do it anyway. Form your little collective. Support each other. Learn how to write and draw and make GIFs so you feed your own portion of the fandom. You physically do not need those people, it just unfortunately takes a bit of effort and means potentially a bit less content until you start really generating your own.

Fandom spaces do not start out from nothing. Promote the shit out of your fandom. Draw people in. Comb through the proship tags and send asks to blogs like mine asking other proshippers to check out the source material.

People in small fandoms are easy to bully because you're so enclosed into this circle of the exact same people. They happen to be the majority in the room and they're weaponising it.

Force them into a bigger room.

[theoceanoasis]

Megatron sees how much pain Rodimus is in because he always watches him.

Rodimus longs for Drift and ratchet but the best he can get is being a fun frag.

He doesn’t even mean to he just…his spark just acts on its own.

Megatron lays a servo on Rodimus lower back every time he sees him. To discuss plans or help him out the doors.

Brings him energon and watches him cook it. He servo feeds him, public or private doesn’t matter.

Sends little poems to Rodimus who asks questions because he doesn’t understand the stuff but it does sound pretty.

Brings packets of crystal seeds because he knows Rodimus loves to garden and he makes a space in both their habs for the plants to thrive before two separate habs become one.

Rodimus doesn’t even realize he touches Megatrons chassis often or feels along him. Its absent minded when he stands behind or beside Megatron and feels on him, resting his helmet against him.

It soothes something in both of them and they don’t realize until Rodimus’s heat hits and they spark merge.

Drift and ratchet don’t realize until its too late.

"Rodimus?"

"Can't talk right now I have captain stuff... That needs to be done."

Rodimus wouldn't look at him as he went back to his room looking sad and rejected. He sighed wishing he wouldn't do this to himself.

He deserved something better than a quick frag and should find someone who loves him. However he was stubborn and refused to listen whenever he told him, that what he was doing wasn't healthy.

He found himself looking after Rodimus and finding ways to distract him whenever he tried to meet up with Drift and Ratchet so they could frag.

He was tired of watching Rodimus hurt himself over and over again, trying to chase two people who weren't interested. He deserved better and he wanted him to be happy.

It started with him asking Rodimus if he wanted to have dinner with him. That way he could keep an optic on him and keep him away from the bar.

Rodimus had been heavily drinking recently and it worried him because it made him vulnerable and people weren't afraid to take advantage of that. Spreading nasty rumors about how easy he was when Rodimus could barely stand.

Whenever he did get drunk he'd always be there to watch over him and make sure he got home safely and didn't do anything reckless.

While they ate together. He learned what Rodimus favorite energon was and loved bringing it to him and watching the way his face would light up. He was so cute and he found himself falling more in love with him.

One day he bought a bunch of ingredients and asked Rodimus if he could teach him how to cook. Since he noticed that he'd occasionally bring home cooked meals which were always amazing.

Rodimus would blush whenever he praised the chef giving him an embarrassed look as he preened happy with his compliments and always willing to make more.

He was a terrible cook and set things on fire multiple times much to his dismay. Rodimus would pat his back sympathetically and offer to make him home cooked meals which he gladly ate because he was an amazing cook.

He noticed that it made Rodimus happy and that he enjoyed cooking more now that he had someone to share with.

Whenever he saw Rodimus he'd stand near him and put a hand on his lower back in comfort. Always reminding him that he was here for him.

Rodimus would subconsciously lean into his touch and cuddle against his side as he wrapped an arm around him.

He was so amazing and he'd give him little gifts to remind him. He knew how much Rodimus loved his little garden and he found himself on the lookout for plants that Rodimus didn't have yet.

The two of them began to hang out all the time. He'd write Rodimus poetry and he'd always ask him questions about it. Sometimes he didn't understand what was being said, but he always thought it was beautiful.

Rodimus liked taking care of him and he liked caring for him as well. The two of them seemed to come together in a way he never expected.

Whenever they ate together. They'd happily feed each other. Ignoring Whirl who'd always gag in disgust at their affection.

He enjoyed taking care of Rodimus and hand feeding him after he'd worked hard to make him a meal.

He didn't even realize how close they'd become. Because it felt like Rodimus had always been by his side.

It wasn't until he looked around his room one day and was constantly reminded of Rodimus.

His plants had managed to find their way into his home along with his art. When he went into his bathroom he found Rodimus wax and grooming supplies inside along with his own.

The kitchen had all kinds of cookware that he didn't even know the names of but Rodimus did.

Looking at his room he was amazed at how full of life it had become. Before it felt like a prison and now it felt like a home. Something he never thought he'd have again.

Eventually the two of them decided to make it official and moved in together. It didn't change much since they practically lived with each other before. The only difference is that they didn't have to trade which bed they'd been sleeping on that night.

Everything was perfect and he didn't think it could get better than this until Rodimus heat cycle started and they spent it together.

They ended up bonding their sparks together and becoming Conjunx. Then shortly after that Rodimus started showing and the two of them were excited when they found out he was sparked.

Ratchet and Drift could only watch in shock as Rodimus was suddenly bonded with a sparkling on the way. The two of them realizing what they'd let slip through their fingers.

[buried-in-autumn-leaves]

if im allowed to ask, which deities do you worship? What does their presence/energy feel like? What activities do you like to do for them?

Ofcourse, only answer the questions You're comfortable with answering.

-Lynn / Azalea (i will probably become a frequent person in your ask/inbox shh)

Yeah absolutely !!

I worship a lot of deities sort of casually if that makes sense ? As a newbie I am super interested in learning and I want to know so many things at once so I end up doing like little things to acknowledge different ones. But for ones I worship very regularly, I have more info obvi !!! Under the cut because I ended up yapping a lot more than I planned 😭

Also !! I use the word pagan as a sort of catch all term, but I personally do not identify as one, instead using HelPol specifically ❤️

Aphrodite is warm like hugs !! Very grounding, like when a cat is laying on you or when you're laying in someone's lap <3 She is currently the only one I have an altar for due to lack of space, but I love showing it off 😭❤️

I have devotional perfume for her, and I also devote my engagement necklace to her, so it lives on her altar when I'm not wearing it. I write her letters as often as I can, and a big thing for me with her is spreading kindness.

Through my life I've been a bit unlucky with kindness finding its way back to me. Whether that be because of my troubles with socializing or just the people I'm around at certain times, it doesn't matter. When I smile at people, even if I feel maybe they don't deserve it, it's because of her. When people tell me I made their day better it makes me feel like I'm doing her proud. I give out love freely because sometimes people need it.

I do devotional makeup for a lot of my deities, but I love doing looks for Apollo because I almost never use yellow otherwise (excluding today, ironically- I used it in my look for Zeus and Hera for Theogamia). I also just make an effort to admire the sun. I'm a total night owl, so it's not often I'm up early enough to see it for long, but I try.

Apollo is interesting because I usually see people describe him as warm too, but to me he has always been cold. Not cold as in ice, almost like air. He is the wind that strikes my face as I stare out the car window, or the wind around me as I pace my house with my headphones on maladaptive daydreaming.

I'm also learning to draw ! It's a promise I made to him this year. I'm not very good, but I'm having fun learning. I'm gonna learn to draw and I'm gonna finish writing my book and he'll be with me the whole time <3

Ares is like a weighted blanket that's slightly too heavy to be entirely relaxing but I actually like it a lot. He is the feeling when I clench my jaw and set actual boundaries.

That's a main thing I'm working on with him. I do have a necklace charm that makes me think of him but I keep it on Lady Aphrodite's altar in honour of her Areia epithet.

I don't have much else to say about him, but I would love to be able to dedicate more stuff to him.

Poseidon is quiet. Not in the sense that his energy is less than intense. He's the way the world sounds when your head is under the water. He makes everything slow and muffled and less intimidating. Over a year ago now, I moved away from the coast for the first time in my life. I never liked the beach, yet I find myself longing for the ocean. My love for it exists beside my love for him, and collecting ocean related things makes me happy because it makes me think of him.

Khione is, rightfully, cold.

I've always liked being cold. I'm super heat sensitive and get heat sick easy so I always prefer the feeling of being piled under blankets and still feeling a chill. I honour her by embracing my inner child, by making hot choclate and watching childrens christmas movies even when it's nowhere near the time because that is nostalgia for me. It makes me feel close to her.

I guess as a more general devotional activity, I really love veiling. I do it to protect my energy and to honour those who came before me. That's not to say that there aren't other reasons of course- I think it impossible to believe that there are no pagans who veil for modesty reasons. It just makes me feel closer to the people who kept this religion alive, who believed so deeply that their love lasted through it all.

Apologies for the long post, I just really like talking about them. Questions are always welcome !! Since the day is essentially over for me (15 minutes- I work second shift so I'm just now getting to answer this), I hope you had a wonderful Theogamia !

Xaire ❤️

[cupcakefoggy]

Ok, this drives me nuts.

I love Bridgerton. And I don't love all things Regency, so before you write me off as a romance-loving Austenite (which is ALSO a perfectly valid thing to be, thankyouverymuch) just hear me out on why this take is so damn annoying.

Ok. Cool. Now, you're entitled to your opinion that Bridgerton is too fluffy, too girly, and needs more "texture" (which, according to the article, should come in the form of labor, hardship, threatened financial ruin, the usual good stuff) but I want to impress upon you, firmly but politely, that if you're in the market for something gritty, you probably should turn off Bridgerton.

She compares Bridgerton to every prominent period show in this article, and consistently complains that it doesn't measure up. "Well it's not Downton Abbey!" No, no it isn't, and that's what we like about it. We aren't watching it to Learn Something. We're watching it because, for an hour or three at a time, it's really nice to forget that there's so much awful crap going on in the world, and just focus in on Penelope's up-and-down courtship with Colin or how damn cute Kate and Anthony are together.

But that isn't even the thing that bothers me the most about this article.

Why, in the year of our lord 2024, are we still perpetuating this "fluffy girly things are BRAIN CANDY" nonsense? Has Jane Austen truly taught us nothing? At the age of 12, back in the early aughts, my dad gave me a hard time for reading the Sweet Valley Twins books. He wanted me to read Pride and Prejudice, and aggressively shoved it under my nose until I finally agreed to take a look at it. I found it incomprehensible, looked it up online, and found to my immense pleasure that Jane Austen's literature was considered "popular" and "feminine" in its day -- not at all serious literature. I took my findings to my dad, who just about exploded and told me "that's not the point, it's a classic NOW, so shut up and read it."

Guys, I don't care if it was written in the 1600s or last week, pop culture is pop culture. It reflects its time. And more importantly, it shapes its time.

In the 1990s, Seinfeld aired the now-famous episode wherein the boys and Julia Louis-Dreyfus' character, Elaine, have a contest to see how long they can all go without masturbating. One of the men is out before the contest begins; of the remaining contestants, Elaine cracks first. This is now considered a bold statement, because in the 90s, women actually ENJOYING orgasms was taboo -- a concept they make sure to acknowledge within the episode itself, as the men insist women don't masturbate.

Julia Louis-Dreyfus later said of her time on Seinfeld, "We weren't trying to change the world, we were just trying to make something really funny. And that's really hard to do. And if you can do it, you CAN change the world a little bit."

Now, I don't watch Seinfeld. I hate it. I tried to watch a bit of it for Julia, bc I loved her so much in New Adventures of Old Christine, but I just couldn't get into it. but I saw the episode she's talking about, and it IS funny. Because they aren't up on a soapbox, they're just having fun, and she's a damn good comedic actress. So why am I bringing up Seinfeld in a conversation about Bridgerton? Because they're both fluff. No one is watching Seinfeld in an effort to solve the mysteries of the human condition or reflect on the nature of good and evil. It's just for fun. And so is Bridgerton.

And even if there was absolutely no value to Bridgerton besides being fun, it would still be "okay" to watch it. Because sometimes we just need fluff. But I don't think we really spend enough time thinking about just how much impact that "fluff" has on our culture.

I've seen people argue that Bridgerton DOES tackle occasional "serious" topics, and that's why it has value. I disagree. Bridgerton's value comes from the fact that it is FUN. It's easy to get into, it's easy to watch, no one is FORCING it on you, like my dad tried to do with P&P. And because it's fun, people -- YOUNG people -- are willingly watching it…

And they're seeing elderly women, women of color, and plus-size women being depicted as beautiful and desirable.

They're seeing a young, newly-married woman force herself on her husband and realizing that women also need to be taught about consent, and that a lack of sex education leads to damaged relationships.

They're seeing depictions of mental illness in the Queen Charlotte spinoff. They're seeing a man with a mental illness bare his soul to a woman he loves, and hearing her say, in no uncertain terms, that as damaged as he thinks he is, she loves him too. Unconditionally.

They're seeing queer representation in the Queen Charlotte spinoff, too. They're seeing racism and politics and medical abuse. They're seeing storylines that they'd never seek out on their own, and intentionally or not, they're learning from those stories.

Maybe it's optimistic to a fault, but I just can't stop wondering, how many young girls talked to each other about Daphne and Simon? How many plus-size women saw Penelope and Colin's sex scene and felt beautiful, felt seen, for the first time? How many people with mental illness saw Charlotte love King George and realized that they too are worthy of love? How many people heard Violet shyly tell Agatha that she misses having sex with her husband, and felt validated that, no, you don't turn 40 and stop being horny?

I sobbed my eyes out watching S3 the other night, because they captured the feeling of being unpopular and overweight so damn well. I saw my high school years reflected in Penelope's story and it broke my heart and gave me hope all at the same time. I love that they dress Violet and Agatha and Charlotte as richly as they do the younger, "hotter" leads. I love that Anthony Bridgerton goes down on Kate every fucking chance he gets. I love Bridgerton's message, however unintentional, that you don't have to be the classic Pretty Skinny Caucasian Starlet - you can be fat, old, BIPOC, disabled, outcast, anything, and still deserve and GET your happily-ever-after.

Shondaland is not trying to change the world. They're just trying to be fluffy and horny. And if they can do it, they can change the world just a little bit.

[ratwavekayla]

The magician and the emperor for the tarot ask game?

Thanks!

The Magician — What design skills are you best at? OR What skill have you been working on lately?

I think I'm really good at writing Weak Moves for Belonging outside Belonging games (though I usually call them Vulnerable Moves after Galactic 2e)

I also think I have a pretty good head for coming up with mechanics based around cards.

The Emperor — Do you have a process you follow with your design work? OR How important is mechanical complexity to you?

Not a static one, it usually depends on the game. Like if I'm hacking something or working in an established system there's often a structure to writing I'll follow. If I'm going from scratch I'll focus first on whatever the impetus for a game was (so for Out of the Fold it was figuring out the card mechanic, for instance) and then gradually I write out a map of what I think the game needs then approach writing more or less in order. Sometimes less, and sometimes I jump to other non writing things as a break (like I'll often come up with logos or some concept art mid writing).

I'll also answer the other question as a bonus. I think for mechanical complexity its about meeting a game where it is. Stuff like Terminal, Godslingers or PSYCHODUNGEON does have more complexity because they're intended as games you play for longer. The core of the games are all easy to grasp but there's smaller stuff to explore that won't come up in the first session (e.g. Omen abilities in Terminal, character advancement in PSYCHODUNGEON or the death spiral of Godslingers). If a game is a one shot though I want to keep things simpler because I want you to able to grasp the entire system within a single session.

Like regardless of the scope of the game though I am trying to always keep in mind "what is the thing you're going to spend most of the time doing" and making sure that that's fun and that any complexity is feeding that.

[boyswillbedogz]

me: im not autistic

my parents: youre not autistic

my therapist: you talk too eloquently to be autistic.

also me:

"yeah i dont like ELA. no its easy and the teacher is really nice but the lights in her rokm are too bright."

"if i leave my room without my headphones the planet will explode"

"yeah i dont know how to express feeling sso i just started saying the name of the emotion."

"yeah when i get really upset i sob and slam my head against walls and cant talk idk whats up with that."

"i stopped going to the library because i read every single book about my favorite animals. all of them. also i dont use netflix anymore because ive seen every nature documentary. yeah all of them."

"i think the kids at school hate me but i cant say why. yeah i literally cannot tell."

"yeah. yeah all of my clothes are made of the same 3 materials and i have to go clothes shopping with my parents to feel the inside of every clothing item because if its different i wont wear it. also i hate when my clothes touch my skin."

"stuffed animals that are too fluffy get kicked off the bed i dont wanna touch them."

"yeah my hours on procreate over the summer are equivalent to a full time job. no i dont take commissions, i draw for fun."

"talking is physically exhausting and i basically dont exist outside of school hours to my friends because im so fucking tired. also sometimes i just cant talk if im too tired, or i get really quiet and deadpan even if im having a good time."

"yeah. yeah im really good at speeches and writing and performing but i just. cant fucking talk to people in non-structured conversations its horrible."

"yeah i have a bunch of all-consuming obsessions that, will like, eat my time. yeah i dont know, i just spend like all my time and money on this stuff."

"i wont eat like 90% of foods because the texture. also if im too tired i cant eat anything that isnt super bland"

"one time i ate literally nothing but campbell's chicken soup for two weeks and didnt eat for like two days because my mom stopped buying it."

"are you being sarcastic???"

"i wasnt being sarcastic."

"yeah no i dont want you to make my food. yeah i need it done in a super particular way and youre gonna do it wrong so i just do it myself."

[e17omm]

Writing down my thoughts while playing HI3 part 2 chapter 6:

Spoiler free TL:DR; What an absolute mess of a chapter. Were they just throwing things at a wall and seeing what stuck before trying to piece those things together into a chapter? At least it wasnt boring. I didnt have a lot of fun but the story kept moving forward, even if it went in circles sometimes.

Not sure how I feel about the flashback at the start of the chapter. Feels pointless unless its brought up, I just dont see why it would be brought up during this.

I really appreciate that Hoyo bothered to animate Theresa using the payphone. I know its not a hard ask, but boy they sure havent put much effort into dialogue animations for their other games

also im really starting to get tired of this "show us around every single place!" thing they've been doing. It just feels like, dont we have more important stuff to be doing than going on a tour? Like, the forward pace is a crawl. I miss when Kiana was investigating stuff in Arc City and we didnt need to go pick up a lockpick and some food from the local supermarket at the beginning of the chapter.

the armwrestling was really fun at first, but its really wearing out because theres literally no difference between them. I just spam B on my controller. For all 3 of them. Not even intensely. They were all as easy except the 3rd which wasnt a bar but I had to press B and... I already was. "Tap B to win" doesnt have much gameplay variation.

My god Coralie holds her attacks harder than Margit from Elden Ring does. The ding comes like a whole second earlier than her attack does and theres nothing like an adjustment of her wrist to react to before she launches her attack.

Very sudden Litost attempting murder. I didnt take him as the nicest of guys but this is certainly something to timeskip to.

also did I miss something or did Helia not have this helpless inferiority complex before? ... Did she fight Litost in the previous chapter, lost, and are only in Reimu because Coralie won? Am I remembering that correctly?

So Ajita is the evil Entropy person? At least this appearance of her? I dont see why she would appear and tp us away and then go "oh how sad, that girl you just saved is gonna die anyway". Is this Sparkle?

Yeah okay that 180 mood turn was 100% intentional.

Yeah Helia, I dont understand where this came from. This part of your character wasnt there before this chapter, and its not like there was a particulary long timeskip between chapters 5 and 6. I get what they are doing, its similar to Mei chasing after Kiana. But with Mei it was Kiana being kidnapped, HoV defeating her, chasing after her in Arc City, being pushed away by Kiana, having Durandal reach Kiana first and stopping Mei from getting her, chasing Kiana to Nagazora, doing everything she can to find and help Kiana, and Kiana still pushing Mei away and, finally, over the edge.

For Helia she lost to Listost, I think? in the previous chapter.

11. They dont need to spell out what character traits Vita and Ajita has...

12. I want to replay chapters 5 and 6 of part 1... They did looping and fixing the timeline way better back then. Helia's inferiority complex came out of nowhere and is clearly a focus for this chapter, I bet she's gonna do something stupid to try and prove herself, where was this the last 5 chapters?, meanwhile at the same time I dont even know why the 32nd Ten Shus War is critical?

13. That's the second time they've done a "the situation isnt as serious as it first appeared to be" twist

14. They're actually putting more than no effort into dialogue animations. I like it. They still havent fixed all characters turning around like a robot, but at least now there are about as many moments with good animations as there are moments with robot animation. Its an improvement!

15. Flashback chapter! Joy! Why does everyone have a sob story and why was this never hinted at before and why are they revealing it all now by thinking really hard about it? When Kiana had a flashback her dad pointed a gun at her. I sure hope that Helia's flashback wasnt just context for why she fainted upon seeing small Dudu.

16.

17. How did we go from family sob stories to searching for traces of Litost? Did I miss like, a short transition scene?

18. WHERE IS THIS BEEF BETWEEN CORALIE AND HELIA COMING FROM?!?!?! Am I forgetting? Am I crazy? Or was there not this much beef between them before?? And before as in, THE PREVIOUS CHAPTER??? Yeah they had an argument but where did Helia's inferiority complex come from?? Am I crazy or has their dynamic shifted drastically from the previous chapter?

19. My issue with their beef and Helia's inferiority complex is that that part of Helia wasnt present or noticably before this point. And Im not really even sure what triggered it. Was it her loss to Litost? "Talentless and unhelpful" is about the exact opposite as what Coralie described her as. Yeah if Helia wanted to be the strongest and greatest Valkyrie there ever was, I can understand how being "just" an A-rank is an insult, but then the question remains: where did THAT part of her character come from? She wasnt trying to be the center of all fights and the victor at the top in previous chapters, right?

20. This is not the same Helia that we had in chapter 5. It cant be. This inferiority complex is a fucking massive part of her character and I didnt see any of it the last 5 chapters. Im scratching my brain trying to figure out if I missed anything or just wasnt paying attention to Helia enough.

This feels like a new character.

21. This is a new character. Im calling her massive-inferiority-complex Helia as long as she stays here (MIC Helia) since she has the same name as the Helia we had in chapters 1-5.

"It wasnt the focus of chapters 1-5" well then they gotta fucking ease me into it and not drop a bucket of cold water on me.

I would love to go back and check, but, you know.

22. How the fuck was what Entropy said enough to break MIC Helia out of her year long inferiority complex? Or did Entropy just switch MIC Helia out for Helia while I wasnt looking? I hope its the latter.

Like Helia's inferiority complex isnt "Im so weak so I have to try extra hard to make up for it because Im so weak." its "Im so weak and thats impossible to change"

Everyone told her to keep trying and improving and be the best that she is, and her response was that its impossible for her to change and be anything except weak.

Then Entropy comes along and tells her that she doesnt know if its impossible for her to change and that she just have to keep trying and improving and... that worked?

Also wait I just came back from my shower,

23. why is Litost just standing there?

24. Okay, while going around killing people feels in-character for Litost, him spouting "youre so weak, youre pathetic, youll never amount to anything" to Helia REALLY feels like "the writers are making him say this to push Helia to the edge"

Killing people feels on brand for Litost, but belittling them in length? I feel like he would've just said something like "see? youre too weak." and be done with it, but this man is on his 3rd page of insults to throw at Helia.

25. Not really a big fan of the whole "we will introduce a brand new aspect of a character this chapter and then solve it halfway through the same chapter" thing.

26. Good to know that everyone can teleport. I mean they set it up but still. Also Litost just disappeared after grilling Helia for like 5 straight minutes? What was that about?

27. Well at least we're finally back to Helia! Mostly. I really missed her from chapter 5. I think she's an alright character, much better than this MIC Helia they suddenly dumped into chapter 6.

28. Yeah this MIC Helia character isnt written very well. She disagrees with the advice she is given but then does what the advice she got told her and then she still doesnt listen to the advice until one day when she does.

29. this is getting really long and I'd like to consider this the start of the chapter considering that we got all the characters from chapter 5 now, but I dont know how much is left of this...

30. Litost is the most interesting character in part 2 so far. Like I still dont know the end goal of all this. I get that theyre doing it coz otherwise Laylah will kick them out if they go too off-script, and the Earth gang wants to find out why Kiana is sleepy, but like, I dont get the point of this whole simulation thing.

31. Genuinely the chapter could have basically started here after Chexue died in the past slice. Helia is back to what she was like before.

32. Azur flame sucks. Its tanky and has 2 attacks. Seriously? Honkai beasts has more effort put into them than this.

33. That's the 3rd time the mood is suddenly twisted into the opposite. Hi again Litost, thank you for always showing up on your own. We really didn't do much to find you at all. Ever. You literally just walk past us when we arent even trying.

34. We really just switched back to MIC Helia? I hoped I had seen the last of her! Seriously what is character development that last for more than 5 minutes?

35. So we just went from MIC Helia, to Helia, and then 5 minutes later back to MIC Helia having basically the same realisation as 5 minutes ago back to Helia, and now Coralie gets killed in the simulation and Helia is all emotional except, you know, its a simulation. Dramaqueens.

Dont tell me its back to MIC Helia again...

36. yeah I smell bullshit on that.

WOW THEY DIDNT CARE ABOUT CORALIE AT ALL.

Oh she died 6 minutes ago? Oh well, time to dive back in! No time to lose I wanna stay in that night city place I forgot the name of.

What a mess of a chapter. What's worse is that them killing of Coralie in one of the more bullshit, but also completely apathetic way for the rest of the characters - they really were about to just go straight back in. Ajita saves their progress, there is literally no rush. Mourning? Pssh, who cares?

Coralie's death is so random. If anything the chapter was setting up for Helia to die. The simulation being able to influence the real world wasn't even hinted at. Have one of the hologram girls lift a physical vase or something, at least that would have planeted the possibility! I could understand it if Coralie still felt pain and panic as she logged out from the wound she recieved in the simulation and had to recieve aid and be out of comission for a whie as she recovered, but "the doctors did everything they could..." really?

And again, they are just going to jump right back in? What writing decision is that? Yeah they'll have a meeting first but, again, what's the rush? Coralie is basically still in the emergency room. Not gonna take care of the body?

Im kinda not sad about her death, just because I find the writing choices around it kind of unbelieveable.

Like, what will Coralie's death bring that isnt Helia turning into MIC Helia AGAIN, or Helia having the same "I have to push forward" positivity thing that she has already had TWICE this chapter? The rest of the characters clearly dont care enough to even mourn Coralie's death. I guess they werent that close? I mean, they were inviting Helia to re-enter the simulation ASAP again. Do they just not care about her or Coralie at all? Havent they been partners for a period of time before this? Dont they think that maybe they should check on Helia first before inviting her back to the place her friend literally JUST died at? Like, LITERALLY JUST DIED at.

And again, what does Coralie's death mean for Helia? Is she going to go through what she just went through twice already? Is Helia going to shoot herself? Her clear inferiority led to Coralie dying (in her head), so if she isnt going to go through the same thing thrice, is she just going to kill herself?

Do Hoyo not care enough about the part 2 characters to not write a character arc (twice) right before a death that would trigger that character arc?

So Im trying to figure out what the difference between Himeko's death and Coralie's death is, and I think its the buildup to the climax that is missing for Coralie. For Himeko, there is several chapters of building and a lot of things are escalating and they're throwing everything they cant at the Herrscher of the Void and they just cant stop her, leading to the climax of a sacrifice play that doesnt even fully defeat HoV. The tension is built up over several chapters and a lot of focus is put on Himeko and Kiana over those 5 chapters (chapters 5-9) which leads to the final climax of HoV vs Himeko and a great animated fight scene.

After all the focus was on Helia this chapter, Coralie jumps infront of a sword in a simulation and dies irl. Bruh what.

How did Coralie even die? We didn't even get to see her condition. And she died off-screen.

What.

Who wrote this?

What a mess of a chapter. Helia nearly flip-flops between 2 different versions of herself, and then Coralie randomly dies off-screen from an indirect wound.