#sometimes i forget that their actual interactions probably amount to no more than 6 or 7 times in canon and the rest is just in my head

[surreal-duck]

hi!! i just wanted to say that ive liked midoyuzu since i was like 14 and its been a few years since then (obviously) but seeing your midoyuzu art now is so!!! its so fulfilling to my past self who had like NO art to go off of, i guess? anyway! your art is super good and i love it so much <3

im glad omg? extremely late to the party but by god i am bringing snacks in here or die trying o7 was pretty baffled the first time finding out more abt their dynamic and looking them up on here to find maybe like two more recent posts and the rest from no sooner than 2017 or so askjdghsjkgdhjks but really THANK YOU!!!!!!!! happy to be of service to your inner 14yo somewhat ;v;

yknow what though the really funny thing is that i wasnt even that into them initially. just remembered that cute interaction at the end of xmas live and thought "huh these two r kinda sweet actually" and that curiosity is always a slippery slope into genuine investment and by god is tripping into it a favorite pastime of mine

[beloved-daydreams]

You know, I've wanted to talk about Taryn for a while because I genuinely think she's such an interesting character (and is SEVERELY underrated my god), so here are a couple of things I sometimes think about in no particular order: (and if I'm mistaken about any of those feel free to tell me!!!)

1) In The Cruel Prince, when Vivi brought Jude and Taryn to a shopping mall in order to cheer them up, Jude noted how Taryn is like a chameleon. That if they had to return to live in the human world, she wouldn't be able to adjust as well while Taryn probably could.

2) Despite people often portraying Taryn as a jealous/envious person (which I believe is partly true of course) that part of her has never seemed that big to me and I'm actually more inclined to say she was often on a fine line between being very driven and very desperate. Just like how Jude wanted to find her place in Elfhame, Taryn wanted to find her own through marriage. (Which, I'd like to add, is a totally valid wish in her situation even if it's not considered to be the more "girlboss" choice to make, out of all the things she has done/chosen to do, I don't think this is one if the things she should be shamed for.)

3) Although she accepted Locke's unfair conditions in order for him to take her as his wife knowing that Jude would inevitably get hurt, I believe she has always felt guilty about it deep down which is ALSO why she was so SO persistent with Jude in TCP. She wanted Jude to stop defying the fae because she didn't want her to get even more hurt than how much she already had (+ knowing that the reason Jude's being targeted in the first place is her fault, which is why she felt so responsible in making her stop her defiance.)

4) I'd also like to acknowledge how humiliating this deal with Locke must've been. People always think about how embarrassing it was for Jude but can you imagine how desperate you must be to let your "boyfriend" date your sister? Taryn saw him as a lifeline, as a way to survive and get some sort of power in Elfhame, and while she definitely didn't do it the right way, let's not pretend that she enjoyed it. Who would enjoy having a man play with you and your sister? This is pure disrespect NOT only towards Jude but also towards Taryn, which I find sad. This "relationship" was abusive and unequal from the very start.

5) Additionally, I think deep down Taryn always knew/understood that Locke doesn't especially care about her. It has been hinted at multiple times in the story that Locke didn't actually care which sister he would find that night he came to look for one of the twins and I don't even believe he properly knew how to differentiate them. Near the beginning of TCP there's a scene where Jude's and Locke's eyes meet (at that point Locke and Taryn are already "together") and he smiles at her, possibly because he might believe she's Taryn, and Taryn seeing that their eyes met, tries to get Jude to forget about it. So she HAS in fact noticed that Locke can't differentiate them at that point yet she keeps "dating" him. Why? Well...

6) The sacrifice line in The Wicked King, when it says Taryn looks more like a sacrifice than a bride. I think this was the "goal" all along. Taryn's whole thing is that she keeps making herself small and pleasant and "fitting into the picture". She is also shown to be more like Oriana than Madoc, Oriana who is known for being very careful and making the most "safe" decisions for her well-being and Oak's (+ always warning Jude and Taryn to not go anywhere during the revels and to not interact with the fae because they're humans and weak, and it would be dangerous for them). Taryn is doing the same with Locke, she wants security and some amount of power like Oriana who chose to be with Madoc for her and Oak's safety. Plus, again, Taryn obviously wants a place where she can belong. So ultimately she is "sacrificing" herself to Locke for that freedom.

7) In the lost sisters, Locke tried to make Taryn take pleasure in cruelty by making her dance with that fae boy then stealing her away and making her see how heartbroken that made the boy feel. And it did work somewhat but I believe the reason why Locke and Taryn didn't work out well together in the end is because Taryn is capable of feeling guilt. Locke and Taryn are shown to be similar in the aspect of "being good at telling stories" except Locke likes to make stories happen around him for his entertainment (Drama, basically). I don't think Taryn has that in her just because of that night in the lost sisters, in fact, that might've not even been the cruelty in itself that gave her pleasure but the power she had and was capable of having over a fae for once, instead of them having power over her.

8) Another reason why Locke and Taryn didn't work well together is because Taryn was unequally putting way more effort in this relationship than Locke was. In TCP when Jude and Locke are "dating", he gives her a tour of his estate and it's all mostly empty because no one gives enough of a shit to renovate any of it. Yet in TQN, when Jude is pretending to be Taryn, we see how his estate has changed for the better. Almost each empty room has been filled with furniture and the wardrobes have beautiful clothes in them. Showing how all of this has obviously been done by Taryn. Plus, why did the servant give "Taryn" (Jude pretending to be Taryn) a fairie fruit for dinner? Is it because Locke has made her eat some in front of his guests and Taryn complied to be seen as the "fun/pleasant" wife who does everything her husband tells her to? So maybe, just like how Jude was poisoning herself to build an immunity against poison, is it possible that Taryn was doing the same with faerie fruit? To build an immunity so she can still be somewhat aware of herself during Locke's maze/garden parties?

9) I think in the end, Taryn is more similar to the Ghost which is why they ended up hitting it off. Both of their thing is "being in the shadows/fitting in". Moreover, the Ghost does feel guilt for killing Oak's mother seeing how uncomfortable he got when Jude uncovered that. Plus he's half-human, so that will be easier to bear for Taryn instead of that bullshit Locke was telling her about "fae loving in a different way" to make her comply with his real-life sized drama club.

Overall, I like how layered all of this is if you look for it BUT I wouldn't say any of those conclusions/assomptions are especially difficult to reach if you're careful. I'm just kind of tired of female characters being seen as one-dimensional compared to their male counterparts who will get "understood" much more easily. My very hot take about TFOTA has always been that the truly gray character/problematic female character of the story is in fact Taryn and not Jude. Since Jude is the protagonist and we're always seeing her pov it's not hard for us to understand or be compassionate with her. Despite her actions being "morally gray" in-story, from the readers' pov, I believe the truly problematic female character here is Taryn since we can't actually see the inside of her head. All we get is pieces of information we have to put together.

[thebansacredbanned]

Tagged by @wishthefish!

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

123... somehow... oh wait i know how its bc i did whumptober

2) What's your total AO3 word count?

392,687

3) What fandoms do you write for?

Currently: The Untamed/MDZS, Nirvana in Fire, A League of Nobleman, The Blood of Youth [screaming, crying, trying please i need more people to write tBoY fic my crops are dying], The Disguiser [sometimes]. I'm also working on a few ideas for Mysterious Lotus Casebook which I finished last week

4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

So these are all from back when I was actually writing the most popular pairing for a popular fandom, as opposed to now where I'm either writing the Rarest of rare-pairs or for fandoms that have <100 english fics so:

Yellow Petals - The Witcher, Geraskier, hanahaki

I Would Know Him In Death (At The End of the World) - Les Mis, E/R, les amis are reincarnated greek heroes

Butter-cup of Tea - The Witcher, Geraskier, round robin me and @nemainofthewater wrote together that I'm sure had a plot

as I reckon with the effects of your life on mine - The Witcher, Jaskier & Valdo Marx, another one by me and Nemain where I wrote Jaskier's letters and Nemain wrote Valdo Marx's

Know the Water's Sweet but Blood is Thicker - The Witcher, Jaskier is Calanthe's brother, yikes I never finished that one oops

5) Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to (sometimes I forget though lol)! It feels nice to have some kind of interactions with other fans, plus that's how I made friends with @wishthefish so there's always a risk chance of getting to know people ;P

6) What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

hahhaahahahahahahaahahahhah

ummmm all of them?

it's probably 'You left me here behind, do you not care?' which has very little room for any hope at all come the end

7) What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

this is actually harder than the angst one, somehow. like happy? are any of truly happy??

I'm restricting it to things I wrote this year and I'm going to say As we walk with the sun hand in hand from the wreck, which is the 'happy ending' stem of the Xuyao choose your own adventure thing I was working on this year

8) Do you get hate on fics?

I did once, but it was for a fandom I was already over in a work I wasn't like 100% sold on anyway and I found it kind of funny

9) Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

No but as I put in a group chat the other day "every day i inch closer to writing porn and i am not happy about it".

To be fair I don't think I'll ever write full-blown smut, and generally I find that, for what I'm writing at least, having things left implied is better bc then people can imagine whatever they want (and I don't have to write it)

10) Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I do in fact have a NiF/Untamed bodyswap crossover in my docs which I either need to write more of or decide that I'm not going to write any more of and just post as is

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of

12) Have you ever had a fic translated?

I have! There's a French translation of I Would Know Him in Death (At the End of the World)!

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I have several co-written fic with @nemainofthewater - we share a braincell so it's always a lot of fun

14) What's your all-time favorite ship?

See that's a. that's a question that I'm finding WAY harder to answer than it should be.

Probably E/R (Enjolras/Grantaire) from Les Miserables. Like R is still my tumblr/ao3 picture (and my phone home screen), I might now actually be in the fandom so much any more but forever in my heart etc

15) What's a wip that you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

Oh man I just went on my posted works on ao3 and I have a les mis fencing au that I last updated in 2020. That's never going to to happen

16) What are your writing strenghts?

Lets see how much angst I can fit in a very small amount of words 😈

17) What are your writing weaknesses?

I struggle finishing anything longer than about 2k which is a pain bc I have lots of ideas that deserve a lot more words than I can focus on writing for them

18) Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

It's cool when people do it (especially if they have hover-ovre translations)! I haven't ever tried and am unlikely to any time soon

19) First fandom you wrote for?

Turn! (actually the first fandom I wrote for was Hamilton but that never saw the light of day and NEVER WILL)

I'm going to tag @nemainofthewater @luzzeagain @woobifiedvillain and anyone else who feels like it!

[disappointedcreeper]

Okay I do this now

A - about five months ago soon after I joined Tumblr (realized I was a fox be4 that though, I just didn't know the language)

B - it kinda makes social interactions more awkward sometimes

C - yes, and kinda to the not being super connected to nature (but I'd be a city fox so wtv, the climate is worse than the fact i live in a city

D - no and not really

E - well on Tumblr it's great, Ive met some wonderful creatures :3

F - two of them (most of my friends though would not understand at all)

G - no, but that might change in the future

H - did u forget h or just not think of anything for it?

I - red fox, that's all

J - yes I do make some jokes (would be more serious around specific people if they knew)

K - probably around a 6 or a 7 because I've done a decent amount of research on therianthropy and I have a decent amount of understanding on other alterhuman identities

L - yes I like foxes. actually they are one of my favorite animals now that I know I am one (bias go brrrrr)

M - again, did you forget, or just not think of anything? /genq

N - yes I'm a fox, we tend to live in forests but also do live in cities

O - nope, not as far as I know (actually I'll put a big m a y b e for this. probably not but there is a possibility)

P - yes, I'm a fox. sadly there is a lot of negative steryotyping of foxes in media though which I hate

Q - ok yeah I understand not being able to think of anything for q, so I'll put the few q words I know for fun. Que, question, query, quesadilla, and I think thats all I can think of lmao

R - no not really I don't like having to live in the body of a human permanently (there are upsides that I wouldn't want to live without though)

S - ? I mean im agender so I don't think about that

T - I act mutch differently than other humans, I tend to go up stairs on all fours, I sometimes think about eating roadkill (doesn't last for long though) I absolutely destroy most meat I eat, especially jerky, I feel the need to express my emotions with a tail and ears but I can't, I am skittish and get startled easily, sometimes I pant, and there are probably many more I forgot to mention here

U - yes and it depends. As I said in the last one I sometimes think about eating roadkill which would be very bad for my human body. I also sometimes walk on the front of my feet, or really want to. Also when I'm going uphill I want nothing more than to get down on all fours as going uphill for me is exhausting.

V - same as with H M and Q ig

W -

Almost exactly like this but with blue eyes. Also my tail would be orange with a white tip probably

X - yeah there aren't many x words. Xylophone is the only one I can think of

Y - yes. Also probably yarn so it would be the right size proportional to my body.

Z - as long as they treat the animals well, and the animals are happy. And honestly I'd rather prefer to go somewhere I could physically interact with a fox, or at least be closer than looking at an enclosure.

Aaaaand that's everything! That took a while, but was fun

Alterhuman alphabet!

(feel free to copy, paste, fill in and credit me!)

A - awakening

When did you realise you are an alterhuman? At what age, how long ago?

B - balance

Does your identity affect your social life (school, work, ect.)? Does it cause troubles or not?

C - city

Do you live in a city? If yes, is it hard for you to be away from nature? Does your therio/kintype even need nature?

D - diary

Do you have a diary about your alterhuman experiences? If not, do you want to start one?

E - experience in the community

What is your experience and thoughts about the alterhuman community?

F - friends

Have you told your friends about your identity?

G - gear

Do you have any gear? If yes, is it handmade or bought?

I - identity

What is (are) your therio/kintype(s)?

J - jokes

Do you like to make little jokes about your identity or is it rather serious for you?

K - knowldege

In scale of 1-10, how big do you think your knowldege about alterhumans is? Are you new to this topic?

L - liking, loving

Do you like your therio/kintype(s)? Do you love or dislike it/them?

N - nature

Does your therio/kintype live in the wild, or rather not? (E.g. it's a house pet, or it's a robot.)

O - otherhearted

Are you also otherhearted? If yes, what is your kithtype(s)?

P - popularity

Is your therio/kintype "popular" or is it rather rare?

R - real body

Do you feel good about your psychical body? Do you experience gender dysphoria?

S - sex

Dies therio/kintype have a different sex than you?

T - traits

What are your alterhuman traits? (E.g. a need to hunt, bark, ect.)

Urges

If you have a theriotype, are you good at controlling your animalistic urges? Do they bother you?

W - wondering

How do you think you would look like, if you could psychically shapeshift into your therio/kintype? (Describe or put an inage here!)

Y - yarn

If you wanted ti buy/make a tail, would it be real fur or fake/yarn fur?

Z - zoo

How do you feel about zoos (a place, not z00philes)? Are they good or bad in your opinion? Do you want to go there to meet your theriotype (if you are a therian).

___________

That's all! Bye!🍄

[shadowdianne]

Fic writer review [Or a fic writer tag game if you prefer]

I was tagged by @naralanis and I can already see her grin all the way from where I am xd Thank you, dear, for the tag, let’s see what are my answers, shall we.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

*bursts out laughing* Adding both pseuds I have… 535 according to the account info but by counting them all I’m reaching 541 so I’m guessing it’s counting some drafts I need to re-find.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

I seriously hated you for this one xd I was going to do it by hand by I decided one-third there that I value my mental stability a little bit more xd according to the stats page back at a03 that number would be 1257884. It may be wrong. I think there should be a few more numbers up there but the majority of my works are one-shots so *shrugs* There’s also the fact that counting my ao3 things only is shaving off like half of it Xd Anyway, can we laugh at the fact that I’m a pain in the ass and that I’ve written a lot? More than I should have, that’s for sure

3. How many fandoms have you written for?

Trick question because I haven’t crossposted everything I wrote back in ffnet and I actually erased some fics from my account back there so the numbers are a little blurry there.

When I had the entirety of my work posted both in ffnet and a03 I had written for: Twilight (Bella/Alice) Glee (Faberry and there were a couple Pezberry and I don’t fucking remember the pairing name for Santana and Quinn), Harry Potter (Hermione/Ginny, Hermione/Narcissa, Hermione/Bellatrix) OUAT (SwanQueen and several oneshots focusing on the mad hatter and the blue fairy solely back at ffnet that were written in Spanish and never translated), I actually had a veeeery old au prompt of Frozen (Elsanna in where I wrote them as non sibilings), Rizzoli and Isles (Rizzles), Dishonored 2 (Emily Kaldwin/Alexi Mayhew), Lara Croft and Wonder Woman, Supergirl (SuperCorp/Supercat) I had a 100 one -or maybe two??- (Clexa), The Shannara Chronicles (Amberle/Eretreia [Or Princess Rover], Rwby [Blake Belladona/Yang], The Worst Witch (Hecate Hardbroom and Pippa Pentangle), The Half of it, Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (Madam Satan/Zelda Spellman) and… I think that’s it(?) I may be forgetting some but probably nothing important if I’m not remembering it lol.

4. Top 5 fics by kudos?

Ah, we are going to go there, uh? Xd My works are not the kudos and comment getting type Xd So I was quite surprised when I went to check this.

1: Cracked it I wrote this one back in 2017, it was a prompt done by an anon: Lena is nerding with one of her projects at home, mumbling mostly to herself because she’s stuck and Kara casually mentions how to solve the problem like it’s nothing. I really had some fun with this. It was back when some us, SQeeners were fully doing the jump between OUAT and SuperGirl (I mean, there had already been some crossover as for fandom is related but this when the girls were actually getting their conjoined voice within the fandom)

2: Dateless I honestly needed to check what this one was about but I think I can see why this one shot has the amount of kudos it has. It’s a short and sweet idea and responds to the Teachers Au that went SO well with SQ. Everyone thinks they hate each other and try to set them up with other people whilst they, in truth, are dating. I don’t remember if I wrote them as married rather than dating but despite being from 2017 as well is one cheeky enough to be cool Xd I probably would edit some lines now *shudders*

3: After you I truly didn’t expect this one to be top 3. Makes me think of a lot of things, if I’m being honest Xd. After you was a one shot written almost feverishly as an answer to the fabulous drawings that Sejic did of both Lara Croft and Wonder Woman back at 2018 or something. It’s just Lara and Diana being himbos but not at all with each other.

4: How about… How about is one I remember perfectly, it was my answer to the ending of the Half of it film. I had SOME thoughts about it, let’s just stop there Xd I really liked the film itself but I think and I thought at the time that my response to wishing for a final scene at the very end of the credits responds to me being in a different personal moment than the characters. I really wanted to explore my feelings about it and so I wrote about them finding each other again after some time passes. It was also something I wrote after quite the hiatus so I took it as something I could write about without focusing too much on the why.

5: Come to me

Ahh, SuperCorp Xd I remember this one actually. A friend of mine and I were talking about descriptions, and she mentioned quite off-handedly how she wanted a fic in where Kara’s back was described. I complied… more or less.

Fun tidbit, despite the big volume of my work is obviously set in ouat there’s only 1 SQ fic there as you can see, the others are either SuperCorp or the random one shots I created for Wonderwoman/Lara Croft and The half of it. *sighs in deep thought* I’m also not going to look too much into how almost all of the fics were posted and written back in 2017. Nope, not at all.

*Small voice screaming you peaked in 2017 and everything else is garbage jumps back and forth*

5. Do you respond to comments? Why/why not?

I tend to always respond, yup. I truly value comments. I might have gone for spells of time in where I didn’t have the mental capacity to check in old fics because I truly didn’t know what to answer but I treasure every single comment and you all who comment know that I can start to ramble in the answers xd -sorry about that- I really really REALLY love interaction.

6. A fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending:

Ok, Nara, come on, this one is a catch for me. I’ve written angst in far too many fics to remember the angstiest one :P I have the most recent one, though, that is the easy one to think about: Goodbye.Written for @delirious-comfort. I’m just going to say “Kisses with their last dying breath” as an idea of what awaits inside but I’ve written about death and loss and angst quite a lot. There were some I wrote back to SQ with Regina needing to kill Emma during the Dark Swan arc that, to this day, I still love and some others in where Regina is the one that dies, again and again, trapped by magic while Emma watches. I have the loss in mental destruction form and… I REALLY like my angst y’know xd

7. Do you write crossovers?

Not counting Lara and Wonder Woman not really! I think it comes from the fact that I loooove worldbuilding as a whole and some pairings would require all my focus into making the world perfect which in turn would make me self conscious on the OOCness of it all.

8. Ever received hate on a fic?

*snorts* I’ve received hate due to the pairing I’ve written about, how I’ve written about it, the amount I’ve written, how slow or quick I can be, the usage of some tropes, the lack of usage of those same tropes… Let’s just go with: yuuuup.

9. Do you write smut?

I’ve written smut, yeah! But I can already see the pointed looks of some so let’s elaborate Xd I write smut when asked and sometimes when not asked but there’s a part of me I like to call a terrible tease that prefers writing the beginning of a scene, taunt it, focus on what happens before the sex scene per se as I find it more enjoyable to write. The process of escalation is always the best for me to see what can I do it by using both dialogue and descriptors tbh, so I tend to tease more than show.

9. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

A few weeks ago I’d have said: Maybe(?) But trying to follow the trail of some other fics that had been stolen from some friends -I think it was me trying to find more about the page that stole something from your Nara!- I found some pages in where my fics had been reposted. In some it was stated that the person posting the fic wasn’t the author but I had never been contacted in order to see if I’d say yes to such a thing and in some others the page was locked up but I could still see someone was pretending to be the author. I did the thing and got some of those down.

Pointed note: Ask me if you want to post or translate or anything. I will look into you and answer you if you seem honest about the thing. But despite every joke and self-deprecating comment those 500 and then some fics represent MY time so very kindly I say fuck off to those who wish to steal from me and if I catch you… you don’t really want to see me angry, trust me.

10. Ever had a fic translated?

I’ve given permission to some, yeah, but never heard it back from them so I’m guessing it didn’t stick.

12. Have you ever co-written a fic?

I’ve written series alongside other authors as @stregaomega for example. And some others that are unpublished -looking at you @carsonnieve - I’ve also done collabs… but fics co-written in the sense of two authors same chapters I don’t have anything posted I’m afraid :P

13. All-time favourite ship?

*snorts*, I guess the obvious answer is SQ uh? And I do think they were the ones that allowed me to read and write SO much. The one I feel more strongly about, however, is Bering and Wells from Warehouse 13.

14. WIP you want to finish, but don’t think you ever will?

All of them counts as a valid answer? But if I only could finish one that would be Arcadia. With A forgotten Promise second and the one I did as an Assassins Creed AU third. (I don’t remember the name so there’s no link, sorry xd)

15. Writing strengths?

Uhhhh, you REALLY want me to say that? I don’t fucking know!! To me everything I write is garbage. I always try to go for the feelings so I guess. Dunno xd I’ve been told I’m good at worldbuilding and to be honest is what I enjoy the most.

16. Writing weaknesses?

Everything Xd Pacing? What I hate the most sometimes is dialogue, I would count it as a weakness but I’m always far too focused on description rather than dialogue. I don’t think it’s a bad thing per se but it’s something that I don’t do as much.

17. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in a fic?

I’m conflicted. Always. Majorly because I think that having bilingual characters in fanfiction is portrayed and expected in a way that I don’t feel it’s honest with how bilingual people -us- talk. So if I go by what I know I do I think it’s not what readers hope to see when it comes to that and if I go for how canonically is hoped to be found I don’t think it’s logical. But that’s me and my overthinking Xd If I have the option I like to do it.

18. First fandom you ever wrote for?

Belice! Or Bella/Alice. Worst first fic ever but oh, well, I’m always saying that :P

19. What’s your fav fic you’ve written so far?

Uhh… Don’t make me do this XD Agh, I don’t know. I’ve always been very vocal about Metallic Ink because I let myself enjoy the process of creating a magic system almost out of zero and that was fun. Despite hating some of the writing process and that I’d do it differently now I think I’m going to stick with that answer. Or anything that had any steampunk-based undertone. To be honest I like more thinking of concepts, I had one in where Emma was a thief and it involved the robbery of a ring that was Regina’s one way ticket to freedom I then later repurposed that I adored thinking about so let’s go with…. Yeah, I love having the option of changing things up a little and focus on how characters would fit in different aesthetics for this one Xd

Annnd… these are four pages, gods. I’m just going to tag @waknatious @carsonnieve @stregaomega here and see what they do- Enjoy the questionnaire ladies :P

[fonulyn]

So my partner is amazing and let's me ramble about RE to them whenever I want to, and even sat down to watch Vendetta with me when I bought it, so the other day I was like explaining Leon and Chris' characters (bc my partner knows how much I love them both lmao so of course that's what I was talking about), and we have both come to the conclusion that Leon is a bisexual disaster, and Chris is a homosexual. The running joke is that Leon is also just generally a whore, out there living his best life, and Chris is the kind of gay guy who no one expects to be gay bc of stereotypes and his habit of never really talking about himself, but he also was never really in the closet about it, so he's surprised whenever people are surprised to learn that he's gay lolol but in all seriousness Leon is not only bisexual, but he's the type to fall in love easily despite all of his background and trauma related to betrayal, so his heart is almost continually broken, either bc he's betrayed or he loses whoever it is he's found himself in love with (and sometimes both i.e. Krauser, and Ada at the end of RE2), either through death or just leaving bc he knows he can't stay/can't be with whomever. As for Chris, maybe I'm reading into it wrong, but despite all of the like, romantic connotations they try to put into some of his games (which I don't. Really see? Like there was some in the first game with Jill but I just cannot see them together like that, neither seem interested in one another like that. And of course, Jessica, who I can't stand, and who Chris is supposedly totally oblivious to? Like she thinks he didn't notice her flirting in RE revelations, and Parker is like "is it that, or is he maybe interested in someone else?" And the assumption there is that he means Jill, but again, I don't see it? Even in that game! But that line of Parker's always makes me think "yeah, he's more than just interested in someone else, he's playing for a whole nother team entirely!" lmao. And I haven't seen much for 5 but I'm sure it's there between Chris and Sheva, and then for 6 from what I understand there really is hardly any talk of Chris in regards to any women at all? 8 has nothing, as well, and the DLC for 7 is just another "Chris loses his entire team in horrific fashion yet again" side plot, so nothing there either), he never seems interested. He's always focused on the task at hand, not letting emotions get in his way, and like, some could argue that that's why he doesn't show interest or why Capcom doesn't create more romantic lore around him, but if they really wanted to Make Sure he was straight and Make Sure everyone playing these games knew that, I imagine there would be some one line little hints in the games of him talking about how he can't let himself get distracted, or in his line of work there are no happy endings or what have you, but. There's none of that. Bc he isn't forcing himself not to be interested, he isn't purposefully focusing on saving the day so he doesn't have to get hurt knowing he can never have whichever high potential for a dope ass protag female character who's constantly sacrificing herself to save him bc what better purpose could they serve, right Capcom?, he's just. There, doing his job and trying to save whoever he can, not getting distracted in anyway whatsoever by any of the women in his life, romantically at least. He still cares way too much, but it never comes off as romantic to me in pretty much any way. Also the note he leaves in his STARS locker in RE2remake, Claire being like "this doesn't sound like Chris at all!" Is funny to me bc like, I don't really remember so correct me if I'm wrong, but she doesn't elaborate on WHY that note doesn't sound like Chris lmao is it bc he's respectful to women at all times and doesn't ever objectify them, probably hates when other people do? Or is it bc he would never be interested in women in this way ANYWAYS, the man is so gay, he must have left this note so that Claire would know something is Up, bc her brother is Such a homosexual.

Anyways sorry, I just wanted to ramble/get your opinion on this. Over-analysing RE is actually really fun lmao

haha not gonna lie, I opened your ask in the car on the grocery store parking lot and tried to read it on my phone, and gave up squinting at the small screen halfway through :'D now that I'm back at my laptop though, lol, all good :'D

first of all I'm happy you have someone to ramble to even though they aren't into the thing themselves! :D I regularly rant about RE fandom things to my brother haha and he listens patiently although he isn't in the fandom at all, he's only played the games and that's it. but he still listens to my shippy rambles lol.

as for your thoughts? makes sense to me tbh. I definitely headcanon Leon as a bisexual disaster most of the time, because it does seem fitting. maybe it's partly because I think he's absolutely breathtakingly stunning and it'd be a shame to deny anyone that, so, naturally he wouldn't care about such trivial things as gender, pfth, love is love.

also Leon falling in love easily? absolutely. too damn easily. c'mon this is a man who gets attached to anyone who shows him even the tiniest amount of basic kindness in the matter of minutes. he canonically forms attachments with Claire, Ada, Krauser, Helena, Buddy and JD (JD 😭)... whoever else am I forgetting? but this is the guy who meets someone and would die for them five seconds later. so. it tracks.

and you know what, I can 100% see Chris being only into men. because like. I don't see the romance there either when he's interacting with the women in his life? okay, sure, I could imagine something there between him and Jill if pressed seeing the way he so single-mindedly wants to save her and then holds her in the scene after they get that thing off her chest. maybe. but even there it doesn't really feel super romantic to me, personally.

in the first game with Jill there's not... a lot of romance I don't think? sure she falls asleep against his shoulder in the evac helicopter but i mean, i've fallen asleep against a friend like that? not an indication of romance? they're clearly important to each other! i am not trying to diminish their importance to one another at all! they'd die for each other and they'd do anything it takes to protect each other and i do think their relationship is compelling but... i don't really see anything inherently romantic in it.

and Jessica, yeah, Chris is 100% oblivious to her advances. it is implied in the game that he's into Jill instead but other than that there's again zero actual romantic interaction between Chris and Jill. I was actually talking about this with my brother, who said the same, like there were so many chances in Revelations to put something romantic in there between Chris and Jill but there just. isn't? anything? except for Parker's comment. which is why it felt so damn out of place? (and like my brother would've wanted to ship Chris and Jill, he was kinda bummed about this i feel :'D) so interpreting it to mean he's not interested in women at all would actually make more sense lmao.

as for RE5, I've played it twice (with my brother lmao do we see a theme here) and honestly I don't remember anything in the game that would've insinuated anything more than solid partnership between Chris and Sheva?? if someone who's more familiar with the game wants to correct me on this, then please! but at least off the bat I can not remember anything so I think they actually didn't try to even hint at romance for them?

and in RE6 Chris is way too focused on killing "Ada" to have any thoughts about anything else :'D so no. no mentions in there regarding him and any women. at all. not even hints of Jill which is so incredibly weird (and stupid tbh) bc she was made to be so important to him in RE5 and then doesn't even get a mention in RE6? (/shakes fist damn you capcom! the characters exist outside the games they're in!)

I think that's pretty much the main difference between Chris and Leon tbh. Chris sees the job at hand, and he knows it'll help, he knows it'll save people and it'll make the world safer and he's so single-mindedly focused on the job that he sees nothing else. while Leon sees people, for the better or for worse, and he is willing to take detours if it helps even one person in the meantime. like in RE6, Leon willingly ignores the task at hand to go help just about anyone. Chris doesn't want to pause even when pressed bc he has an end goal in mind.

and bear in mind, I am not trying to say this somehow makes Leon better or Chris better or anything. they're both doing this to help. they both have their heart in the right place. they both care. but they're just so different! their personalities, and their way of dealing with things is different! I feel Chris is really target oriented and wants to get the job done. while Leon's easily distracted from it, because of all the damn feelings :'D

but yeah. i love them both, and i think it's really damn fascinating how they're both the good guys, the heroes of the franchise, but they both take to things so differently.

i don't know if any of this makes sense, I think i rambled too :'D but hey-o, it was fun lmao.

and hey no need to apologize at all!! always feel free to shoot me a message if you wanna chat!

[ghosthan]

what would you say are the differences between 616 Tony and MCU Tony? 🤔

Hi anon! Many people have talked about this and I'm certainly not the authority on the topic, but I’ll try my best to explain some of the major differences that I have noticed! Thank you for asking and I’m sorry it took me so long to answer you.

Important to note: neither version of Tony has had a totally consistent characterization. Depending on who you ask and which comics/movies they've consumed, they might give you a different answer here and not be wrong.

616 Tony is even harder to put into one box because his character has been around since Tales of Suspense in the 1950s. That’s a long time. Things have changed over time, under different writers, changing political atmospheres, and outside pop culture influence (including influence from the MCU, unfortunately, in recent years.) You get the picture. So I’ll be making some generalizations and try to be clear about which eras I’m speaking when I make these comparisons, but ultimately, if someone wanted to be contrarian, you could probably refute a lot of what I say here if you cherry pick canon. Which is fair enough! That’s sort of the fun of comics, there’s so much to choose from and something for everyone.

So here are some observations from me, under the ‘read more’.

1. Physical Appearance

This is sort of an easy one, but worth mentioning!

MCU Tony does not look like 616 Tony. RDJ is great, but he would not be most 616 fans’ casting choice on looks alone. MCU Tony is tan, a Malibu man, with brown hair and brown eyes, and RDJ has sort of round facial features (a funny sloped nose, big, round eyes, round forehead, not a particularly sharp or classically “superhero masculine” face.) As you may know, this lends well to certain fanworks and tropes, such as Tony having Bambi eyes.

Or Tiny Tony. He is not actually canonically small, but he's smaller in the MCU than in 616 and from what I can tell, a portion of fandom has latched onto that. He’s a grown man, but RDJ is pretty short, and of slighter build than 616 Tony. RDJ is 5′9, but they make him act in heels, and I believe his canon MCU height is 5′11. Another popular trope I’ve seen is shrinking Tony in fanfic/fanart for a dramatized height difference with Steve, making him weak or fragile; this is fine because everyone has their own taste, but for the official record, he’s a capable, strong guy! Especially in earlier stages of the MCU, in which he’s a bit younger. Tony isn’t just a brain; he carries out his plans with his own two hands! He builds his armor, he remodels his lab, he survives hand to hand combat when he doesn’t have the armor. Muscles!

616 Tony is 6′1 without armor and 6′6 in armor (making him taller than his 616 Steve counterpart in armor and very close to the same height out of armor!) 616 Tony is generally paler with black hair (sometimes the classic blue-black I love so much) and blue eyes, and it obviously depends on the artist, but he has a pretty typically ‘masculine’ face and build. Generally he is drawn with a squared jaw and a high bridged nose (such as in the Extremis storyline, or drawn by Marquez), but again, this varies from artist to artist! Here's some examples of 616 Tonys.

Wait, you might be saying, but I have seen comic panels where Tony has brown hair/brown eyes!

Yep. Due to a combination of forgetfulness, inconsistency, and the MCU bleeding into the general consciousness of the comics, sometimes Tony is randomly depicted in the image of RDJ, or if not in his image, at least visually inspired by the MCU-- hair color and style, eye color, dialogue, etc.

616 fans don’t typically love this; he’s very handsome when drawn this way, of course, (look at him!) But it isn’t really the same character.

Also, MCU Tony has (at least for some of his movies) a reactor built into his chest. While 616 Tony has, at times, been more or less physically connected/dependent to his tech, he doesn’t have the built in reactor (most generally speaking, there are times in comics when he temporarily has the tech built in, but this isn’t really the status quo.)

2. Relationship with parents/ family history

While it is definitely implied in the MCU that Howard was not a good father to Tony, (such as in Iron Man 2 when Tony says “You're talking about a man whose happiest day of his life was shipping me off to boarding school” and “He was cold, calculating, never told me he loved me, never even told me he liked me”), Tony has a different sort of attitude toward Howard in MCU than in 616. It’s kind of weird, and hard to discuss. To me, it seems implied that MCU Howard was emotionally abusive to Tony based on what Tony does say about his childhood, and yet, the films kind of randomly give Howard weird moments of “Well, he tried his best and deep down he loved me the whole time!” forgiveness. MCU has a Howard kink and I'm very cringe-face emoji about it.

For example, Iron Man 2 shows that old film reel of Howard talking about how Tony is the greatest thing he ever created, and in Endgame, when Tony goes back in time, he meets Howard and has a very weird interaction with him in which Howard declares he would do anything for his son, (to his deeply damaged son who is a new father himself.) Yet, for all his talk, it's his actions that speak, and his actions left Tony damaged, traumatized, and emotionally inept at forming healthy relationships. So.

Sorry. I’m a little bitter. I'm just uncomfortable with how they sort of set up an abuse history but then treated it kind of lightly and Howard gets off the hook as "well, he tried his best" without really acknowledging the hurt he caused.

Avengers: Endgame 2019

I won't go super in depth into the abuse stuff because it's a little touchy and could take up a lot of this post. But.

I’m not against any reconciliation and I do appreciate the fact that a lot of times, victims of abuse feel a desire to forgive and reconnect with their abuser-- my issue with the MCU depiction of Tony and Howard is that Tony never really gets the vindication of his abuse being recognized for what it was before he forgives Howard. To me, that’s not forgiveness as kind of... gaslighting himself that it wasn't as bad as he remembered his own experience being, because of a sense of nostalgia and grief. It’s not the same, and I have issues with it.

However, a lot of my opinion is based on subtext and it is just my opinion; with depictions of abuse, different people are going to react differently, and other people may have found these scenes touching and gotten something positive out of them, and that's totally fine too!

It’s also a bit difficult to talk about Tony’s relationship with Howard in 616, for a few reasons: shifting timelines, lots of canon that I have not read all of, and the fact that it really is difficult to sum up such a complicated relationship.

Right off the bat, I’ll address the basics. I used the same scene in another ask, and I think it's frequently cited in any meta regarding Howard, but in Iron Man Vol. 1, we see more into Tony’s childhood and see Howard verbally abusing his family, drunk, at the dinner table.

Iron Man Vol. 1 #285

We get this scene with adult Tony’s retrospective commentary on how his own issues that he blamed himself for were actually a cycle starting with his father, the insecurity and abuse and alcohol, and that he realizes how much this has influenced him. Both MCU Tony and 616 Tony have some form of “stop the cycle of shame” arcs, but I don’t really see how this works narratively in the MCU because Tony makes excuses for Howard and continues to blame himself for a lot of his own personal struggles, whereas I think there’s just a bit more nuance in 616.

But uh. This isn’t totally true, and in recent years, things got real weird. I choose to ignore this chapter of canon, but in the Dan Slott run, Tony Stark: Iron Man, Tony’s whole backstory gets imploded. For one thing, the little of Tony’s childhood it shows in a flashback is uh. Uh. Well, it’s certainly out of character compared with previous 616 material, depicting Tony as an overly confident poor sport.

Basically, Tony is adopted. Tony has an evil brother. Tony’s biological parents make an appearance, as do his ‘classic’ parents, Howard and Maria. It’s just weird. It’s kind of out there. I’m honestly not a huge fan of this and ignore a lot of it, but it is certainly a difference between MCU and 616.

3. Personality

I’m going to be very general. Both Tony’s have an outer self which they present to the public and an inner self, but they’re a bit different. Both Tony’s have struggled with self loathing, but I think MCU Tony’s actual self worth is a bit higher, even just at some points in time. Even if his ego is part of his facade, I think he does believe some amount of the “I’m awesome”, even if just when it applies to his own work/inventions/saving people. Not to say that these moments of fluctuating self esteem make him egotistical, but this combined with his egotistical act and snarky, non-stop sassy dialogue, he’s quite different in general personality from 616 Tony, who is much more reserved.

Some more recent iterations of 616 Tony have been adapted to reflect the snark of the MCU, but he’s not so snarky and he tends to approach things more seriously. This is not a dis on MCU Tony; I think MCU Tony uses false ego and excessive sassy jokes as a means to deflect and control, which I think is very interesting and it’s nice to see this explored more in depth in fic where you get to see the thought process behind the bravado. MCU Tony is a partier, a good times guy, especially during Iron Man 2, in which he really does disregard consequences to have fun (driving his race car, partying drunk in his suit, letting pretty  girls play with the armor, shooting off repulsor blasts for fun in a crowded room); I’m not bashing MCU Tony-- I think he had psychologically understandable reasons for behaving this way, the man was dying-- but 616 Tony really doesn’t act this way generally, and I think it’s a personality difference more than a difference of one being “better.”

616 Tony handles his stress differently, and they just have different psychological patterns, I think. I’m coming up kind of blank trying to think of a good comparable 616 arc, (sorry, I’m brain dead) but a less-than-perfect  example might be Tony’s brain delete arc; he’s “dying”, like in Iron Man 2 he  knows his expiration date, (circumstances are quite  a bit different), but he throws himself more into work, into a cause, and as he really fall apart, we  see him spiral into self doubt, remorse, fear, and insecurity, sort of falling into  himself with lots of manly tears and calling himself pathetic.

(Some things happen in this arc that a lot of people find Gross. I also find these events gross. But. I don’t count the sex in “World’s Most Wanted” as partying to cope with personal mortality, because I think both character involved are in “end of the world” mode, and it’s more seeking intimacy for comfort than partying to numb the hurt. Does this distinction make sense? No? Perfect, moving on.) 616 Tony is generally much more humble.

Whereas MCU Tony, I think, tries to outrun those feelings via parties or making dozens of new suits, or seeking comfort by comforting others! Gifting things to people, building things for people, highly personalized individual living quarters, teaching Nebula games and trying to show her a fun time when they were in peril together.

They have some traits in common, for sure! But canon being inconsistent both in the MCU and in 616, my observations aren’t the rule, because I’m kind of cherry picking and going based on limited memory. But off the top of my head, they’re both extravagant gift givers! Recall Tony gifting Pepper the giant bunny in Iron Man 3, and compare this with Tony carrying a mile high pile of Christmas gifts after shopping with Rumiko in Iron Man Vol. #3.

I would say that while both Tony Starks are considered humanitarians, this is much more fleshed out and supported by canon in 616. Some examples of his philanthropy in the MCU: Tony makes charitable donations of art and money, Tony has an organization which provides disaster relief/cleanup which is referenced in Spider-Man Homecoming, Tony has an MIT grant for students and staff members. But to be honest, a lot of his MCU philanthropy is only mentioned in passing, or is largely handled by other people on his behalf and on his dollar.

In 616, we see Tony using charity almost as a means of therapy: it’s something he does very privately, not in the public eye (at least, not always), and it’s something deeply personal to him. One example that immediately comes to mind is Tony’s home for disadvantaged girls in Iron Man Vol. 3, and we see scenes of Tony basically driving the streets at night, picking up underage prostitutes, feeding them and listening to their stories before bringing them to a home he’s established where he knows all the residents, and provides educational opportunities and protection.

Another more recent example in canon that the Tony fandom loves is that Tony canonically holds babies at an orphanage. Sorry I don’t have panels for all of this, this section got long and I have been working on answering this ask in a very scattered way for a very long time.

Both Tony’s are romantics, I literally could write a whole other post about their canon love life similarities and differences, but I will briefly say that while MCU Tony does the long on and off, and eventual ultimate commitment, to Pepper Potts, 616 Tony is a serial monogamist; he is always falling in love, and he’s definitely not a playboy, but the hero-ing, self loathing, and lifestyle make it very hard for him to keep anyone in his life, and most of his partners fuck his life up and betray him. Needless to say, 616 Tony is not married, and certainly not to Pepper Potts.

Oh, and I guess this is so obvious I almost forgot to include it, but a huge similarity between both iterations of Tony is that they both constantly use their own life as a bargaining chip, and will pretty much die for anything. Or be the bad guy for a good reason (at least, in his own mind... see Civil War, or Hickmanvengers; 616 Tony, especially, does not shy away from making the hard decisions, and this leads to a lot of guilt and tension in his  relationships-- often with Steve because 616 Steve/Tony angst fans are well fed, I guess)

Remember that time Tony had Steve’s mind wiped because Tony felt that Steve’s inflexible morality might hinder the Illuminati’s ability to save the world? And it eats Tony up inside and erupts into a homicidal fight when Steve finally gets his memory back? Me too.

Tony Stark as a character is defined by sacrifice, both of his own life but also of his own happiness and reputation and conscience, I think, in a lot of ways, and we see this in many universes. I could go on about Tony’s propensity for sacrifice in the less obvious ways, because I think in terms of heroic sacrifice, Tony has done a lot that other heroes wouldn’t be able to do because of moral inflexibility and conflicting philosophical schools of thought; Tony really is the “whatever it takes” type, and often believes the ends justify the means if he deems a threat worse than the potential wrong that could be done in preventing the threat. We see this a little bit in the MCU in the creation of Ultron, and in Civil War with the Accords. But there’s a whole lot more going on there I don’t want to get into.

4. Alcohol

MCU Tony’s alcoholism is never really explicitly explored. He is shown drinking in Iron Man 1, and in Iron Man 2 he drinks a lot and makes a fool of himself publicly, but MCU Tony doesn’t get any specific narrative arc focused on his drinking, and if I recall correctly, I don’t think he ever refers to his drinking as alcoholism in the movies? Also, while his binge drinking and embarrassing behaviors ostensibly stop after the events of Iron Man 2, he is shown drinking on screen at least one other time after that which I can remember, and it wasn’t a “falling off the wagon” moment, and an alcoholic in recovery such as 616 Tony would not take a drink casually. This article sheds a little light on some decisions made about Tony and alcohol in the MCU.

Alcoholism is a huge part of 616 Tony’s personality, which I went a bit more into depth about in this post, so I won’t repeat myself too much.

5. Their relationships with the Iron Man armor

A few points here: MCU Tony is famous for the “I am Iron Man��� line being repeated throughout the franchise after he blows his own secret in the end of the first movie. MCU Tony sees himself as one with Iron Man, and the suit is the tech that enables him to be this version of himself. He sees Tony Stark and Iron Man as inextricable: you cannot separate them, and his identity is public. He, as Tony Stark, is an Avenger.

You may remember MCU Tony’s induction into the Avengers; in Iron Man 2, Nick Fury is forming the Avengers and tasks the Black Widow with going undercover to assess Tony to be a part of a hypothetical initiative. “Iron Man yes, Tony Stark no” and the comments about Tony as a narcissist may be funny, but the fact is, the snark and erratic personality of MCU Tony at the time of the formation of the Avengers in the movies is not at all like the Tony of the comics, at the time of the Avengers being formed. 

In 616, things are quite a bit different! Tony invents the Iron man armor to save himself (like in the MCU) and uses it for hero-ing, but in secret. He works very hard to protect his identity as Iron Man, and for a long time, as far as the world is concerned, Iron man is a mystery man piloting armor built by Tony, hired as Tony’s personal body guard, (hence the 616 Steve/Tony fandom’s proclivity for identity porn as a trope!) When the Avengers form, Iron Man is the Avenger, close friends with the Avengers, (particularly Steve!) and Tony Stark is just the benefactor of the Avengers, providing them with a place to live and finances with which to operate.

In the very early days, Tony did not have the “reactor” like in the MCU, but his chest plate did keep him alive, leading to some very dramatic shots of Tony charging up using a wall socket, lamenting the plight of a secret hero.

616 Tony, generally, and especially in some of these earlier comics, was quite reserved, rather serious, and very angsty, (in private of course.) He may be wealthy, but speaking generally, he’s much less ostentatious than MCU Tony, less of a show off, less into flashy things and grand gestures. Of course, this isn’t always true in the comics, and some iterations of Tony are more like this than others, but MCU Tony is showier, sillier, and more of a fun-times guy. Any MCU fan would find those panels quite contrary to the Tony Stark you know:

Iron Man 1

Iron Man 2

I think I would say that while MCU Tony sees himself and the Iron Man identity and the  armor as all being inextricably connected, we see a bit more compartmentalization with 616 Tony, who pretends that the armor is a whole separate person for years when his identity was private, and we see instances in older and newer comics, in which Tony  is uncomfortable with some aspect of himself as Iron Man (for instance, during the second drinking arc, Tony temporarily swears off being Iron Man entirely, or for another example, when Tony is in a comma and Tony AI exists during Secret Empire, Tony “lives” in the Iron Man suit, and I think this could be interpreted as a meta parallel to Steve during this arc; Steve has had some core aspect of his character inverted, Captain America becoming Captain Hydra, so Tony experiences a similar inversion-- Tony Stark and Iron Man are forcibly merged, in a way that Tony seems deeply uncomfortable with, if his digital drinking relapse is any indication. But I digress; sorry for the tangent.)

Okay this post is inexcusable long, and very, very tangential, and I don’t feel like I’ve really covered everything I wanted to. But it has been sitting in my inbox for too long and if I don’t post it now I never will, so I hope this long, rambling thing has been a little bit helpful to you! Thank you so much for asking, I had a lot of fun rambling about this.

If you want to read a similar post, but well written and organized, with other insights, this post by Sineala answers a similar question!

[felassan]

Dragon Age development insights from David Gaider - PART 3

This information came from DG on a recent SummerfallStudios Twitch stream where he gave developer commentary while Liam Esler continued playing DAO from where they had left off in Part 1 and Part 2. I transcribed it in case there’s anyone who can’t watch the stream (for example due to connection/tech limitations, data, time constraints, personal accessibility reasons, etc). A lot of it is centered on DAO, but there’s also insights into other parts of the franchise. Some of it is info which is known having been put out there in the past, and some of it is new. There’s a bit of overlap or repetition with topics covered in Parts 1 and 2. This post leaps from topic to topic as it’s a transcript of a conversational format. It’s under a cut due to length.

The stream can currently be watched back here. Next week LE will be streaming a different DAO playthrough with commentary from another guest. Two weeks from now LE and DG will return to continue this playthrough for another stream session like this one.

(Part 4, Part 5, Part 6)

[wording and opinions DG’s, occasionally LE’s; paraphrased]

The Battle of Ostagar cutscene is one of the first big cutscenes that got made during production. When it was shown to the team for the first time, it was one of those moments where DG felt like “Awesome, this is a game!” Context: During the development of a game it feels more like doing a series of disconnected tasks and assets rather than working on a game, so seeing stuff come together at times like this is rad. The first time it was shown, it had temporary placeholder voiceacting.

Pathfinding is always a nightmare to do, especially in games which involve a party of NPCs. As soon as other characters are involved alongside the PC, it’s exponentially more difficult and takes up a lot more resources. The PC is the most complex thing going on visually on-screen, with so many moving pieces, and in party-based games you have four [etc] of them. So, some critique that’s made of the DA games in regards to this subject which compares it to games like The Witcher doesn’t really make sense, as The Witcher has a solo PC.

‘Weird mage hats’ didn’t really become a trademark ‘DA thing’ akin to their place of random pieces of cheese around the world until later games. For DAO, someone probably asked the artists to create “mage helmets”. Mage hats actually looked better in the concept art than they did in-game. What happened was that they were already modelled and then they didn’t have time to re-do them.

DAO was made for PC first. The plan from the get-go though was that it would be an all-platform release (PC/360/PS3). Games like these are always made for the “lowest common denominator” from among the various platforms that they’re being planned to release for. Games have to be made for the most stringent/basic of the platforms because this makes for less conversion rate. At the time of DAO’s development, the PS3 was getting weak graphically and getting old, and this was quite a limitation: “Why do we have to limit [crowds?] because of this one platform?” “Well, we just gotta”. The original models were a bit too detailed. Later on, the artists started making models that had lower polycounts that they could put in a bit more of. DA was never really focused on making environments realistic in an ambient manner (making environments less “gamey” and more lived in, like having crowded places). They could have put more emphasis there but this would have led to a resources issue. Ambience basically wasn’t a high priority. As a writer DG isn’t keen on this decision and naturally he wanted the world to look more realistic, but he noted that it’s easy for him to say this when this would be work that he didn’t have to do personally.

During DAO development, they might have just had a dev sphere originally that was called “tech design”. DG thinks this was later broken up into systems design, combat design and maybe level design. Level designers are the people that are the implementers of the plot. Narrative design is a branch of the level design spoke. System designers respond to requests from lead designers. Narrative designers and writers don’t interact with system designers much unless they have to. As an example of interaction here, system designers might come to writers and say, “Alright, so we’re doing combat, what are the sorts of things a mage can do in this world?” The writers would be like “Ok, these are the sorts of spells we imagined.” The system designers might then come back with “Ok, that fulfills 2 of the 10 things we need mages to be able to do in combat. Is it possible that mages could do [this]?” Sometimes it is, and other times it would be like “No, that’s really outside of the lore”. Still, sometimes said original-lore-breaking things would be added to the game a week later due to necessity and DG would be like “Oh ok”. This kind of stuff is an insight into how some aspects of the lore came to be or changed over time during development.

The system designers on DAO got a better idea of what could be done and what could not be done according to the lore as things went on. At first, DG had to keep telling them things like “It’s not that big a deal, but in the lore mages can’t teleport. Instant teleportation isn’t possible in the world”. The system designers needed a spell where someone could get from spot A to spot B really fast on the battlefield. DG said that that’s fine in itself, “have them turn into a cloud of bees or have a light that moves between the two places. We can use magic as a transition or as a speed thing, but what is against the lore is instant teleportation, to traverse distance like that”. At first the system designers weren’t on board with it, but they got on board with it later. 

This sort of thing doesn’t just depend on the system designers. It also depends on what the tech artists are willing to do. Sometimes a certain request made of them was too hard and they said they weren’t able to do it. Other times it was a matter of DG not communicating the request properly, or the tech artists had already done the work and so throwing out all their work to re-do it just because he didn’t communicate clearly wouldn’t have been cool. So sometimes the originally planned lore got contravened, and sometimes things other parts of the team implemented in the game became the new lore.

LE made an insightful observation at this point: You can’t think of game development as a cohesive series of decisions that everyone on the team is involved in. This simple isn’t how it works at all, especially on large complex projects. There are processes at some studios for decision-making, but most of the time, a bunch of decisions get made by system designers. Others get made by level designers, still others by narrative designers. Situations then arise where someone notices a certain decision and that that decision and another one contradict each other. This is where conflict arises and a solution has to be negotiated. This is why often in games we get elements in the end product that are dissonant, because it was discovered too late or by the time it was realized, it was too difficult to change. It’s actually a miracle that on a game of DAO’s depth and scope that all these things largely hold together. [My note: With this insight and the context below on documentation, it makes sense how BW sometimes appear to ‘forget aspects of their own lore’ or end up contradicting parts of the lore in different parts of the franchise]

Sometimes such things would be noticed in time and DG would go and say, “Can we not do that or do something else instead?” and the relevant parties would be totally accommodating and do it (depending on how much time they had or how much time it would take to remedy). Sometimes this worked out and sometimes it didn’t. For the most part, everyone wants to work together. DG couldn’t be involved in every aspect of systems design “like some kind of All-Watchful eye of lore”, so he had to rely on the people who were there knowing enough from the documentation. Not everybody reads every document however. There was so much documentation even back during DAO. DG can only imagine the sheer amount of world/lore documentation that now exists now in the run-up to DA4; he said he thinks that nobody at this point on the current team has read it all, as editor/lore-wrangler Ben Gelinas isn’t with BW anymore. Lots of legacy documentation accumulated very quickly. Sometimes, the old document would still be there. Over time it became harder for people to discern which was the most recent version of a particular document. Sometimes people didn’t update the relevant documentation after changing things. Lore documentation was particularly bad for this issue. BG wrangled all the documentation and created an internal reference wiki (essentially acting as a lorekeeper). He was constantly coming in and picking DG’s brain to clarify conflicting aspects or obtain the correct, in-date information etc (“Good on him”).

DAO was the first time DG was involved in voice-recording. Prior to that he was only on the receiving end, in that the recordings would come in and he’d review them as they did so. DAO is when BW set up their own VO department and where Caroline Livingstone came on. CL wanted DG and Mike Laidlaw to be more involved in the casting process. As a result, the writers then were to write casting scripts: like, ‘For Morrigan, can you write a 1 page script that goes through 3 big emotions? [like regular talking for a bit, then here’s a bit of heightened emotion such as anger, then here’s a part where they’re being funny if they were a comedic character] These scripts had to be kept short so that the recording that was made from it wouldn’t be more than 30-40 seconds in length.

For the initial VA sessions, DG and CL flew down to Technicolor studioin LA and they had all the major castmembers there (later on, recording sessions were done a lot more remotely; this became easier as BW’s setup got more sophisticated). The idea was that they would both be present live in-person for the first 2 or 3 sessions to help each VA find their ‘voice’, and for DG at the first session to sit down with each VA and walk them through who their character was, what DA was about, and help them figure out how their character should talk. Claudia Black was the first of these sessions and he was “a wreck” going into that one. It got easier after that however. CL gave directions into the soundproof booth and DG was present to give notes on things like pronunciation or the intentions behind some lines. He says he learned everything he now knows about VO direction from CL. The things and tricks CL can do to get a performance out of an actor are amazing. Sometimes an actor would get a bit fixated or stuck on a particular way of delivering a line. CL had atrick to help them past this; “I want you to clear your mind, and I want you to give me a version of this line that’s more yellow”. The idea is that they just had to break out of where they had been stuck in that mindset, and the thing was that it doesn’t matter what “yellow” meant, but what was important was what “yellow” meant to the actor. They could then take that new varied delivery and progress from there.

Alistair’s dialogue when the PC talks to Flemeth outside her hut was the first complex conversation DG wrote for DAO. It was the first one that had a lot of branching and fiddling to it. The hardest conversations to write are the ones with a lot of exposition, and when they do have exposition still making this interesting and natural. At this point in the game, the player has no agency, just reactivity. The devs talked a lot about this subject when they wrote the origin stories. Some of the stories allow the player to initially say no and refuse to join the Wardens, but you always end up being railroaded (the devs here ended up doing a form of the trope ‘But Thou Must!’). Do you give the player the option to say no? Is it important to allow them that option? At some point, writers have to accept that the player has some level of buy-in and is game to play. They discussed a lot where they sat on this and what is agency. “Maybe don’t worry about offering the player every possible choice, but about having reactivity.”

Loghain wasn’t okay with letting Cailan die. He didn’t sit and angst about it openly where the player could see, and once the decision had been made, it being Loghain, it was Made and Had To Be Done (he felt that it was something that had to happen). But he didn’t kill the son of the woman he’d once loved dearly as a random off-handed thing.

The Solas twist was planned from the beginning, from the DAO dev days. Such big things/broad strokes have stayed the same. However, some of the details have changed or been added along the way. They didn’t know for instance that Solas was going to be a companion; that was something they came up with when they were planning DAI. Flemeth’s true identity has never changed.

Zevran says Rinna was an elf, but WoT says she was a bastard child of a noble in line for the Antivan throne (the Antivan royal family being human). When asked if this was an oversight, DG said yes she was a bastard, but she may have been really far down the line of succession, i.e. technically in line, but would probably never have been allowed to take the throne in practise had that scenario ever actually arisen.

DA was maybe inspired a bit/some by ASOIAF. This was way before it was on TV of course. DG at the time had read the first book or so. He liked the fact that it was a fantasy setting but low-magic, and was about the people in the world and their politics rather than magic, prophecy and other high fantasy stuff.

It was only by DAI that the system designers decided that it was okay to think of banter as an “activity that players engaged in”. In previous games, the devs had inadvertently managed to ‘train’ players to immediately stop when companion banter fires so that they could hear it all (because if you do something else, it gets cut off). When the level designers put together the spaces, they accounted for what players would be doing i.e. how much time between combat. They didn’t however account for like “You’re travelling down this hall and there’s a banter for half of that space. This is an activity, so it’s okay not to put anything in there”. This is how the inadvertent training happened, when originally banters were supposed to be a thing that ran as you move around the world (as opposed to stopping and standing still). 

When asked if the Blight resulted from the creation of the Veil or pre-dates it: “I think you’ll probably have to wait on the game[s] for that answer, if it ever explains it”. He was also asked whether Arlathan is the Golden City. He won’t answer such questions naturally because they are “DeepLooooooore™~~ ♫”.

DG isn’t sure that he will play DA4 when it comes out. It’s not that PW and the team won’t do a good job, they will, it’s just that when DG plays RPGs he has an analytical mindset going on and finds it difficult to slip into the game and just enjoy. For DA4, as he was previously so involved in DA, there’ll naturally probably be an extra level of that with feeling like “What would I have done [for particular parts of the game’s design]?”. Alternatively he might instead feel like “Wow, this is awesome, here’s a game I would have made but didn’t have to do any work on!” DG stressed that it’s important to him to be fair about the work of his former colleagues - he wouldn’t want to come out and be like “I wouldn’t have made [this or that] choice”. He also noted that just because something might be a call he personally wouldn’t have implemented in the game, that doesn’t mean it’s a bad call. There are people out there where if DG intimated at all that there was an aspect of DA4 that he wasn’t keen on, he’s worried that they would pounce on it and use it as ammunition against the current team (who are his friends that he really cares about and wants to do well). He walked away from DA voluntarily and is happy his game will continue on. PW popped by in chat at this point and agreed that it’s definitely hard to play something that you used to work on.

Other assorted tidbits:

DG really opposed the part at the Battle of Ostagar where mabari are set to charge the darkspawn horde - “That’s not how you would use dogs [in war]”

There was supposed to be a cutscene where Flemeth rescues the HoF and Alistair from the top of the Tower of Ishal in her dragon-form. This was cut. DG remembered being angry about this like “nobody is gonna buy that you fall unconscious and then wake up in the hut totally rescued. [...] I guess I’m not always right”

When DG went to Beamdog there was a period where they thought about making a Baldur’s Gate 3. They put together a pitch and had a long series of discussions contemplating things like “What do we need from BG3? What do we expect it to have in order to have the BG name? What is needed and not needed to connect to from the previous games?”

DG isn’t sure who designed the DAO inventory system

PW in chat recalled a game writer from another company who was really ragging on DAI on the Christmas Day after release

Narrative designer and system designer are very different positions/roles with very different responsibilities

Simon Templeton as Loghain did all his voicework stuff in one take, which was very impressive

It would have been the marketing department that chose 30 Seconds To Mars for music. DA was really good at choosing up-and-coming acts for this that weren’t huge when they used their songs, but became huge afterwards

During work on Baldur’s Gate 2 was the most DG has ever crunched. He slept in the office a few times

“As soon as you get both Alistair and Morrigan in the party, that’s when it’s like ahh yes, this is a BioWare game”

Were Flemeth and Morrigan’s interactions with each other and the PC when Morrigan is being told to leave the Wilds and go with the Hero an act, considering that Morrigan did know about the OGB plan? No. That was The Plan, but said plan wasn’t like “Ok, she’s going to leave Right Now”

The elves and the inversion of the traditional elven trope are DG’s favorite part of the world/world-building

One of the original intentions for DAO was to make it so that the player wouldn’t need a healer in the party, or that there would be different kinds of healing, or that healing itself wouldn’t be a thing, but this just didn’t work out

The Imperial Highway used to be a really important part of the lore but it kind of got forgotten a bit

It’s kinda funny that after release some players expressed that Corinne Kempa’s accent as Leliana was “sooo fake”. It’s not fake, she’s actually a Brit that moved to France when she was young, so she has the exact type of accent that Leliana would have (Leliana was born in Orlais and is culturally Orlesian, but her mother was Fereldan and she considers herself as such)

They talked some about the need for documentation and how doing this can feel beurocratic and uncreative and how like you’re not working on a game or writing. PW in chat expressed that there was a year where they spent a lot of it working in PowerPoint and Excel, “so I feel this”

When they switched art directors to Matt Goldman, his first big complaint was about all the brown. He came to DG like “Is there a lore reason for or are you particularly in favor of the brown for story reasons?” DG was like “Uhh no” and Matt was then like “Ok good”

Console codes/commands aren’t usually stripped out of a game before release, they are usually still in the built, just disabled. The system itself is not removed but how to access said system is

BW doesn’t crunch as bad as we hear some companies do, and kind of prided itself on “not being terrible at crunch”. But BW’s “not terrible at crunch” is still crunch. We obviously don’t commend abusive family members for only abusing people on certain days of the week or whatever

Kate Mulgrew is American but she at times did the same thing a lot of the British VAs did, which was that the devs had a lot of struggle with getting them to say “darkspawn” correctly, with the emphasis in the right places. They’d say “dark SPAWN” as if it was two words with an adjective, and the stress put in the wrong place

Lack of children in DAI was a resources thing. They only had time to make a certain number of models. There was a series of meetings where they had to decide what things to cut. In the last meeting it was like ‘Here’s a bunch of things you don’t want to cut, we need to cut 4 of them’

They decided to put horned qunari back in DA2 because then they had the resources to do so. They then ended up having to explain why there were hornless qunari at the same time, and make this an in-world explanation as opposed to just ‘We didn’t have the resources, that was totally intentional’

Lots of players missed out on recruiting Leliana and/or Sten on their first playthrough and didn’t even know they existed/could be recruited. “Apparently we weren’t that great at pointing players in the right direction”

Tevinter is inspired by the Byzantine Empire (which wasn’t called that at the time incidentally, this is a name given by historians after the fact), what used to be the Roman Empire after the western part fell. This is the era Tevinter today is meant to encapsulate: decadent but clearly in decline, far away from the heyday and the heights of the former empire [source]

[Part 1]

[Part 2]

[Part 4]

[Part 5]

[Part 6]

[‘Insights into DA dev from the Gamers For Groceries stream’ transcript]

[cargopantsman]

Abandon Hope All Ye Who Enter Here

Trigger warnings: All of them, because I am lazy. Also none of this is sensical.

Utter, hyper-caffeinated brain noise.

The problem with the concept of a "sense of self" is it already tries to concretize an amorphous abstract. It makes us want to point at some thing and say "Well... that's me." Whether it is a set of ideals that we try to live by, a set of activities that brings us a sense of joy or fulfillment, or, gods forbid, and entirely different and other person that "completes us."

I've always had an affinity for trickster figures and shapeshifters. The wearers of masks, the truthful liars, the artisans of duality, yada, yada. Since I was a child my first instinct has always been to blend in. If into the background, great, but if need be, if I needed to blend into the social fabric around me, I could do that too. To throw this into the high school backdrop; I wasn't a social butterfly, I was shy as could be, but I got along with the jocks, the goths, the nerds, the art freaks, the band kids, the preps, the whatever. Where ever I was I could fake that I belonged there. I was comfortable drifting in between worlds. (Looking back, I could have caused a lot more chaos with the information I was privy to at the time...[Oh, there's a constant point. I'm good at keeping secrets, keeping confidence. I'll lie my ass off to keep a secret.]) Does any of that really help drive a sense of self though? When your natural instinct is to mirror, to blend, to fade? When your point of pride is walking into a room unnoticed and, even better, leaving a party unseen? Does being a ghost count as an identity?

"Expression of Will" comes to mind... what does that mean? Ok, so some abstract thing is inside of you and you manifest it objectly outwardly. I was an artist. I made images in my head and "kind of" manifest them on paper. Some times people see that paper...  I was a writer... images in my head "became" words and some people saw that. I combined them into comics. Some people Saw that. Is that a lasting affect? Maybe the fights I've been into?! That time in 2nd grade someone was picking on a friend and I laid them out... the time in 8th grade someone was picking on me and clocked them down. Or in high school when someone decided to start some rumors and I held them up by their throat in the air until they turned blue? That was an inward thing that manifested outwardly. Nevermind good or bad, but was any of that... me?

Hmm. The beast. The primal... come back to that later.

"Expression of Will," "Expression of Will," "Expression of Will" ... What the fuck even is "Will"? Is this why philosophers get their heads so far up their ass? Is it a desire? The will to live.... living requires eating and the amount of times I forget to even do that... Maybe been looking at the phrase all wrong...

Will to Live (noun) It isn't a thing.

Will (verb) to (preposition) Live (verb)

Why does that sound better?

Desire to Live (noun)

Desire (verb) to (preposition) Live (verb)

Okay, that feels better even, but still... Sense of self, will, desire, expressions thereof. Are these just the aimless desires and wills? The fleeting flights of frivolous fancies festering forlornly in frontal cortices?

The self with the will can direct the desires towards living. "Get in the fucking robot Shinji!" "I don't wanna"

The (ghost) with the (strength) can direct the (impulses) towards (being). Getting too close to a concept of a soul on that one huh?

Forget self. It's a useless moniker right now. There is no self. It's just this mind alone for the first time in its entire life. (Not alone alone, there are friends, but they've learned more about me in the past two weeks than the past 6 years so...) "What did they learn?" asked the projection of self that defines itself by interactions with other.

I thought we were forgetting self.... not an option really. Sentience is a bitch like that. But they've learned I'll put up with a lot of bullshit under the guise of strength and integrity when I should've callously called this whole thing ages ago. That I can shut myself down completely in the interest of bodily-self preservation. (Not Self-self preservation, fuck the English language). What did I sacrifice? What did I shut down?

Everything.

That is less than helpful.

The Beast. Vince. Your Shadow.

My Shadow...

What do you desire?

Blood in the cut, tears in their eyes, power over someone that wants that power over them...

Do you want that? I don't want it, I just need it. No... I want it.

Is that all you are? A sadist? An animal?

Maybe... probably not though. A caretaker, and a sparring partner. A trickster and a shapeshifter. A crafter whose tools are destruction.

Next problem, grandeur. Mythologizing everything. But how to see a thing if you don't blow it up/magnify it?

You lack a sense of self because no one ever tested your sense of self. No one actually fought you for who you are. To find out who you are. The ex didn't. An old friend did until she got scared by what she found there.

You don't want to be yourself because it's not nice is it? You were raised to be nice.

College. I controlled the group. Never hit anyone after high school aside from set matches in classes or sparring for funsies. They all saw my eyes and stopped if they were getting out of hand.

The Dom-Friend.

Don't use the d-word on me.

Destroyer? Yeah, that one's fine. That one fits. He says as he carelessly tosses lit matches around his entire life. Can we bring up the phoenix or is that too grandiose? Why shouldn't it be grandiose? We spend every day of our lives going through the same kind of tedious bullshit all the time why not make our inner lives a bit bigger, a bit richer?

A bit darker.

Why do you want them to bleed? Hurt and comfort. That's a big theme, a trope if you will. Why not have both at the same? Why not let her think that I'm about to kill her but let her rest in the trust that I won't? Why not let me think that I'm about to break her while believing she is the most precious thing in the world?

Caretaker. A caretaker kills all the time. Tearing out weeds, uprooting the prized plant to move it to a better place for its growth.

Growth.

The self isn't going to be found just in ones self... not in another either. No, the self has to be found in everything. The things one wants to run to and run from. The soul (oops) is formed by what it crashes into right? The mind recoils from traumas races towards panaceas, why not, if one can, flip the polarity on the two. Bring the darkness screaming into the light so you can see it, bring the light quivering into the darkness so it can loose its terrifying brillance. Balance in all things right?

You're not a very positive person, they say. No... I'm not. It lashes out in bad ways sometimes, sure. Control, control, you must learn control. But being negative isn't bad. Not if you can grow from it. No plant can survive the sun for 24 hours. Trees sleep in the winter. We sleep, we heal, we grow.

Self-Destruction!! That's a fun one... seven fucking months downing a bottle of whisky a night. Whooo boy. Do Not Recommend.

Got a nice stay in the underworld though and trudged up a lot of shit. Now I'm sitting here with my ears ringing because I finally hit the personal limit on Monsters and my brain is overclocked enough I can finally see shit at 4 angles at the same time. I am a god damned quantum supercomputer of emotions right now.

Faith and faithlessness are the same thing. Have faith, trust the future, don't expect anything, don't plan your now for your future. Sounds sadly like live in the moment type bullshit, but life is weird and people are complex. Shifting drifting clueless animals that want to be safe but don't want to get stuck in anothers arms even when there is one whose arms are so safe.

The damage runs deep... and two people with damage running that deep. Hmm. How much healing can falling do? The other just puts a bandage over a puncture wound and both try to ignore it, but then the blood gets pumping, the heart pounds and poisons surge to the surface. It's neither one's fault really. Life is a trial of knives and we don't always have time or concern to tend the wounds properly. There's always something else that needs to be taken care of first.

Divorce is a helluva drug. It is maddening, the freedom to finally to be yourself is line having the lineart stripped off, there is a terrifying infinity in front of you and the only thing to do for awhile is melt. Let the slings and arrows just pierce and sink in. Anyone else tries to push the sludge of you into a shape might get hurt when they find the arrows. I want to go absolutely feral in a way. In a way the whole COVID mess is keeping me under lock and key so I'm just prowling around the empty house like I always have been, but now there's some sense... of purpose.

I'm raging against any depression, the executive dysfunction is going to have a talking to. The sense of self is going to be found in stripping this house down to bare walls and making a blank canvas. Bring everything down, ruin it all, start again.

My self is emptiness, it always has been. I can be anything, but I should be wary of ever wanting to be something. (My career options are AWESOME). But this is a different emptiness than before. Before I pulled the trigger and splattered the brains of the marriage across the floor I was just a void, and inky black pit of nothingness. Somehow, having the Shadow rise up and finally start getting along with the rest of me, the emptiness isn't.... void. It's just nascent possibility and that shouldn't scare me.

It does, of course, terrify me. First time in 40 years being legitimately alone is terrifying, should have done this kinda thing when I was 20, but... I was an idiot back then (60 year old me laughs from the future). But I think I can get a grip on the concept that "I" don't exist, but I'm real... ever changing ever dynamic, not who I was while I was married, but a mix of the me before, a angry beast now, and something yet unseen in the future.

[awesome-cookies-and-cream]

Reki and Langa’s dynamic

It’s speculation at my part and a shameless rant on what i like about sk8 just to get it off my chest I’ve been so fixated help

it’s 5am I’m at uni and i have a shit ton to do, am I really gonna make an essay about sk8 instead? yes abso-fucking-lutely. strap on to your metaphorical skateboards kids. this is going to be long ride

this isn’t to call out anyone lol so in case you get that impression I’m sorry. I understand everyone is out to interpret media in whatever they like and that’s fine, but sometimes i feel like either some missed some points of the story? anyway here are my thoughts tho

alright so what i absolutely love about sk8 is how they didn’t make anyone into a genius.Genius is a mockery of the hardships everyone does to attain that level of skills. And no Langa is not a genius or a prodigy which I will explain later. I’ve seen enough shounen animes back in the day and usually it’s ‘annoying heart of gold beginner vs. calm and collected genius’ they usually hate each other’s guts and bicker all the time though secretly, deep down care for each other but would rather die than admit it dynamic. While I’m glad we’re moving past that, I really thought Reki and Langa would be like that so....

imagine my surprise when Langa was the ‘beginner’ in skating. He has the potential to be a second sasuke here lol. (blue, handsome, cool) but no he isn’t. he’s an adorable idiot, an airhead, head empty only skating dude and i love it. 

Reki as well. He could have been the usual protagonist. (sucks at his sport, loud, hardworking, and by the power of friendship he suddenly beats everyone else which i think is pretty overused at this point, don’t you think?) some people complain how Reki despite being the MC isn’t given screentime and hasn’t won a single beef. (and sure that’s true. he should have won some and langa lose some but we only have 12 eps so lol) but he’s not the usual protagonist you know? and sk8 isn’t about winning. if it was, I think they would have focused on the techniques. the hows and the what to do.

Idk if you noticed, but sports anime with winning in its goal would often explain in detail certain techniques. (see haikyuu) but shows like Free and Yuri on Ice isn’t exactly talking about how to win that seriously as Haikyuu did. It’s more focusing on the feelings and how their lives are affected with their passion for this sport. it’s about the character development!!! and i think SK8 is something like that too. It explores the character’s feelings rather than sport. (like what i tell my sister, they use the sport as a character device if that makes sense?)

this was literally in the opening lol. it’s really about the feelings you know?

so anyway it’s been pointed out several times that Reki was already feeling insecure about his skills in skating since ep 1 way before Langa came. But he still likes to skate and despite feeling never enough, he still enjoyed it. (some also pointed out that Reki’s reason of going into a beef against Shadow has been because he insulted his way of skating not because he wanted to be the best) so the show from the get go was already hinting at his self esteem issues.

this also implies that Reki has always been feeling like this in a while, added with his tendencies to bottle things up, it makes sense that he’ll blow up at some point and he’ll need to release all of those feelings. (so yeah i think this is just the right amount of eps for their fall out. i see some people complaining shush. otherwise it would also feel too rushed. this is years weighing him)

and i guess it’s also implied in here he’s had days like these too in the past! seriously it’s an ongoing problem he’s been carrying. i think 3 eps is pretty good enough pace to internalize it

so point: Reki was already down way before Langa came. langa just added to that. And don’t go blaming Langa cause the boy did nothing wrong.

Consider that Langa just lost his dad (i think we need more backstory on this though. please sdsjkdksl i need little Langa and his dad interactions) he just moved countries, and the only connection to his dad (snowboarding) is gone cause it doesn’t snow in OKinawa

though one also argues that Langa hasn’t been snowboarding since his dad was gone.

so for Langa, Reki introducing skating to him was revolutionary. You’re someone grieving over the death of what is probably the most important person in your life, the thing you love the most no longer gives you joy (as was shown in the flashbacks and basically Langa going ‘it’s the same’) and you’re in a new country with a language you barely are fluent. you can’t even read or write, and you barely have friends granted you don’t have much back in the day. it’s horrible.

and then this guy you barely know talks to you, befriends you, helps you get a job, and teaches you something you thought you’ve lost and through that you made more friends??

yeah you see why Langa likes Reki. You also see why he’s obsessed with skating. It’s kind of like a coping, a fixation. plus he’s bad with social cues i guess? the interview says he’s likely to get dumped for being too inattentive lmao and that’s what makes him interesting!

also the thing that really surprised me when they first interacted was how supportive Reki is to Langa. it also got to me with how much Langa thinks highly of Reki. Again a deviation to the ‘i say i hate you but deep down i care for you’ trope. they’re full on supportive and protective. i like that. it’s fresh to me. I thought Reki was going to the tsundere ‘hmph that’s not a big deal’ route at the start of ep 2 but he’s really amazed. (kinda also says he’s been very desperate for someone to share skating with but that’s another topic)

so Reki teaches Langa how to skate. and Langa sucks. Which was interesting to me because I thought Langa would be some flawless prince-like character. But nah. He trips and faints at his own blood lol. He’s so uncool and i love it.

Some people say Langa is over powered with a thick ass plot armor which gets him to win (which is why i see people saying he should have won against Joe and I actually agree that Langa should lose some beefs but again only 12 eps, so little time)

but I still wanna talk about it anyway so it’s revealed Langa was snowboarding since 2. That’s 15 years. I think that should be around the same time Joe and Cherry should be skating. and i think if you start earlier as a kid, your body develops differently. (should Langa, “an amateur” win against Joe a pro? the question falls more on whether you can classify Langa as an amateur) i think it’s like Langa being very used to motorcycle tricks from age 2 then suddenly he’s using a regular bicycle, and sure the feeling is mostly the same but there’s just something off. Your body doesn’t easily forget what you know, especially if it did it for 15 years. and so Reki customizes a board for Langa so it’ll feel exactly like snowboarding

So Langa has a customized board that he needed to get used to before he went pro. He really sucked the first few eps lmao. but that’s more of him getting used to the new rules. he pretty much told Reki in ep 2 that he can’t do a skateboard ollie, but he can do a snowboard one bec it’s attached to his feet.

(i may just want to add that one thing i also like about sk8 is that it really doesn’t care what you need for accommodation? if that’s how you do it best, then go for it. When Langa says to Reki he can’t do the ollie without the board attached to his feet, Reki immediately goes his way to accommodate him. usually people in real life might say ‘it’s not real skateboarding if you need a modification etc. but look at Cherry with a freaking AI board and people are like yeah whatever do what you want man. whatever rolls your board.)

so anyway Langa vs. Joe with Langa winning despite being an amateur? if you can even call him an amateur that is. Plus all his tricks are snowboarding tricks lol. everything he’s done is testament to his 15 years of snowboarding?? We don’t even know how good Langa is in snowboarding. Someone make a post about how difficult the snowboarding equivalent of those tricks Langa has done just to show people it means he’s pretty pro (I’ll even argue maybe Langa’s real talent is his creative ways of going around things which kind of why Adam is highkey obsessed, and calls Cherry who calculates everything to the last second boring but that’s a different can of worms I’m opening later) plus Langa barely won against Joe so there’s not much difference in level i think. Should Langa have lost though?

I think some have missed the point of that beef in Reki’s pov. and if the Renga reconciliation is done well, it would be worth it.

that beef got Reki to realize he what he really wants! that it’ll kill him if he can’t skate anymore! that he doesn’t wanna only cheer on for others and be a support! THAT HE WANTS TO SKATE BY LANGA’S SIDE WHICH IS THE REASON FOR ALL THIS INSECURITIES if Langa lost, that cathartic realization might not have happened. He might have gone to Langa and cheered him up, brushed off his insecurities and, made up with Langa halfheartedly without addressing his problems

I’m going to go back to Reki’s insecurities. In ep 6 he’s been afraid of being left behind, and sure Langa came back for him but he still forgot until midway. (will that parallel how Langa got too excited with the idea of skating, the same feeling he thought he lost forever. The same thing that he thinks connects him with his dad, and might have left Reki behind, but later remembers and goes back to chase him? hopefully) in ep 4 it’s obvious he’s afraid of the near death experience Adam gave him, and he’s just realized how different their skills were. in ep 5 he worries about Langa, enough to get nightmares about it. mixed with his friend getting hurt. it’s obvious the feelings are very very muddled there.

So he begs Langa not to skate with Adam.

And what did Langa do? say that he wanted to skate with Adam. (again he’s not the most attentive. he probably thinks he’s just skating with his best friend, all is good then boom. Reki leaves. as a person shit with dealing with other people, i don’t blame him at all) he’s trying to fix it though, but his bond with Reki primarily revolves around skating! how else was he going to warm up with Reki? He also doesn’t know that Reki has self esteem issues that’s always been there since the beginning. He probably doesn’t understand it too because he holds Reki up highly. in ep 6 when Reki was going over his board, Langa thinks he’s pretty cool. he didn’t hear what other said to Reki. He’s earnestly having fun with his friend

We should also note that Reki was never angry at Langa’s skills, he wasn’t resentful that Langa was far ahead. Again he’s been nothing but supportive. He doesn’t want to pull Langa down. He wasn’t like Miya’s friends that lashed out at Miya for being better. in ep 7 he tries his best to follow Langa

it feels like he’s mostly regretful that he can’t catch up. he doesn’t want Langa to slow down, he wants to go faster and meet him where he was. So it makes the realization that all he wants to do was be in equal with Langa more frustrating because he thinks he can’t keep up. (and this only ever started when he heard he’s like Langa’s plus one. there’s that daunting feeling about being pulled around. not being his equal) 

if you need further proof, when Langa and Joe were having a beef, he wasn’t aggressively hoping Langa would lose. in fact he encouraged him. He worries deeply He calls him out when he was doing badly. Still very supportive as ever. So really the frustration isn’t to Langa, again, it’s all internal. He wants to be better

so he’s feeling shit and Langa goes to him in the middle of the rain, bless langa for trying, thinking talking about skating (what he thinks Reki loves and would probably cheer him up, not knowing that’s exactly his problem) tells him

which is probably the worst he could say.

THAT’S what got Reki mad, not really Reki being insecure though that’s part of it, that’s what they’re fighting about, Reki is angry he’s breaking his promise. He thinks Langa doesn’t care about Reki, that he’ll easily break a promise between them that Reki obviously cares about just so he can go skate with Adam who is way better than him. It blows to the self esteem. Reki probably also think that if only he was better, langa wouldn’t bother skating with someone that dangerous. it doesn’t help at all.

but langa doesn’t know this. he doesn’t see all this. Langa might have been too up the high of skating like in ep 6, he sorta left Reki behind again.

it kinda makes Langa’s mom’s words hit harder though

and he did just that. he got too engrossed.

It parallels adam, cherry and joe’s friendship then probably tadahsi’s too but who knows? reki and langa, and tadashi and adam might parallel too, the master and the student thingy Adam might have gotten too obsessed. So Joe trying his best to make sure Reki and Langa won’t end up like them hits a little harder in my chest ;’)

but Langa won’t be to engrossed i think

because unlike Adam who’s aggressively looking for his ‘equal’, Langa is just looking for someone who makes his heart beat, to make him feel like he’s skating with his dad again, someone he loves dearly. (there’s a parallel about loves here too between Adam’s and Langa’s. but I can’t write it now) and he probably already thinks Reki is his equal anyway. He just wants to have fun. he doesn’t think much about the skills.

maybe at first he does. that’s why he’s drawn to Adam but from ep 9, it was pretty much shown that skills really doesn’t matter from when he skated against Joe

if Adam easily discarded his friends because he think they’re boring (which was why the whole skateboard to the face thing with Cherry), langa doesn’t think like that

if anything Reki is important to Langa because he only has fun skating with Reki, who taught him how to skate and made his board. (his board that was customized to fit his style btw, and arguably the only reason he could skate that well. without it, he might as well be a beginner once again.) so without reki, langa is left with nothing. especially with his broken board

no fun in skating, no way of skating. He’s only manage to get this far because of Reki and he knows that now. All of it would be pointless if he doesn’t have Reki (and either he gets so obsessed in chasing that feeling again, or he stops completely) but in case you haven’t noticed it, Langa’s motivation revolves around having fun with skating no matter the skill or place. And he’s having most fun with Reki.

But Reki obviously doesn't know Langa’s feelings. He thinks Langa was forever looking for someone better. So he’s still caught up in the idea that Langa won’t want to skate with him (even though Langa has never shown this) and he left S entirely, thinking what he wants is impossible. fucking just talk you two motherfucker

(I also wanna point out that Reki has always been shown from episode one to be good at making boards. And that’s amazing? We need some support recognition and appreciation, seriously) I think maybe most who find problem with Reki not winning beefs like the usual shounen protags aren’t used to the nuance and perspective of being someone ‘ordinary’. Reki’s character is relatable because most of us feel ordinary, never enough, surrounded by geniuses, ‘inferior’. And if we’re being realistic since a lot are saying joe should have won because langa winning is unrealistic and you want realism so bad no I’m not salty at all there will always be someone better than you. ALWAYS. but what’s important is for you to have fun in what you love! in what makes you happy! AND even if you’re not good at one thing (in Reki’s part, skating) he’s also good at other things (making boards) so does he need to stop one for the other? no. He’s shown to enjoy skating with Langa, he doesn’t wanna stop it hurts him so much he quit. But he can also hone his skills in making boards as well as skate. He’s equal with Langa in a way he doesn’t even notice when he made that board for Langa, but even Reki’s presence alone makes Langa enjoy skating the way Reki also wants Langa by his side.

So I think the next ep is the best time to confront all these feelings. And how it happens might be what’s tricky. Like romantic or not, i personally can read it both ways though i prefer if they do become canon. (idk if it’s queerbaiting. i guess friends can care as deeply as that but ngl, these shounen bestfriends having deep connections that are written off as friends while also giving us bland af hetero love interests who did nothing but exist and be straight really is messing with my perception of romantic and platonic love irl) anyway their talk better be done really well, or else all those episodes of tension would be for nothing

It’s a nice perspective to give a shounen protagonist this time. It’s new, it’s fresh. How many incarnations of underdog turned the best at their craft can you take? variety is nice! and if you don’t like it, there are always a dozen other animes like that for you to turn to. to conclude, IT ALL GOES BACK TO THE START: WHAT IS YOUR HAPPINESS???! AND FOR THEM IT’S THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP BUT IN A VERY DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVE. FRIENDSHIP DOESN’T  SUDDENLY GET YOU TO LEVEL 100000000000 TO DEFEAT THE FINAL BOSS. FRIENDSHIP IS WHAT MAKES DEFEATING THE FINAL BOSS WORTHWHILE

Anyway tldr; maybe the real Eve is the friends we made along the way :D  and idk if I’m making sense but obviously I’m head empty only sk8. Renga needs to talk, i can’t believe they have the audacity to make a recap episode as if i wasn’t head empty only sk8 since february, and if there’s more emotional edging to come, i will burn some of the palm trees outside my house

[kimberly-spirits13]

Crush Pt. 2 (Request)

Pairing: Batman x reader

Synopsis: You’d always been a bit nervous and awkward around the famous Batman but after Clark finally convinced Bruce to ask you out, you were going on a date that weekend.

Note: Honestly in this I just imagine that they day job would either be in fashion or writing, maybe journalism or a mix of both. Fashion journalism anyone? lol

Warnings:

Word Count: 1571

        You knew how you got Bruce’s number, it was still just processing. Clark was the one behind all of this and you knew it. He had finally convinced Bruce to ask you out after one day at the watchtower and thankfully, the famous Batman did. You had just woken up. Today both you and the Batman were having a day off. Everyone would know why you cashed that weekend in if everything worked out the way you hoped it would.

        It was mid Saturday morning. You didn’t want to sleep in too long seeing as you told yourself that even though you were having dinner with Bruce, you’d be late. It didn’t really make sense but it was what you almost always went by. He had mentioned that he had a few kids, they were all busy elsewhere however. You chuckled at the thought of Batman having kids. It wasn’t unknown that he had all of his side -kicks who eventually became their own heroes, you just thought it was funny that he felt the need to make sure they weren’t going to bombard the two of you.

        Getting out of bed after a while of debating it, you put on some music and started getting ready for the day. The sunlight streamed into your apartment from all of the windows once you opened the curtains. It was cool when you stepped out onto the balcony. The noise of cars below filled the city and was ever present in the atmosphere around you. You loved living in the city but for the fact of the chances of an attack. In the part that you lived however, that wasn’t really an issue. Downtown was more of the probable area for any sort of attack. You and Diana tag teamed in New York when she wasn’t in Paris. She often flew back and forth from each and since you guys got along really well, it wasn’t a big deal.

        After showering, you got dressed. There were a few things that you needed to do before your dinner tonight. The first of those was getting a new outfit. You typically had many things that you could wear for work dinners or events that you were attending. It was important to look nice at your day job since you were top in the hypothetical food chain. Once you made editor- and- chief at the company you worked at, everything had gotten even more lavish.

        You attracted a percentage of media and press coverage all by yourself so you didn’t really know what to expect tonight with Bruce. Walking out into your ride surrounded by paparazzi and your security, you got into the back as fast as possible and road off. The first place you would stop was Barneys New York.

_______________________________________________________________________

        Once inside of the shopping center, you were mostly left alone but for a few people who either wanted pictures or the very rare autograph now a days. Not many people asked for that at all and sometimes it was weirder to ask for one rather than a picture. It was pretty quiet inside without too many people in some stores. Those were mainly the stores that you stuck to. Walking around, nothing particularly caught your attention. Everything was something that you really already had for work purposes. The only thing that you thought might be nice was a black off the shoulder long sleeve top with a bit of cleavage but not enough to look tacky for what you were going out for. It reminded you of a shirt you already had once but it had gotten destroyed on a past mission. You actually really liked the shirt and decided to get it. You’d have something back at your apartment to pair it with.

_______________________________________________________________________

        For the rest of the day, you did nothing but either hype yourself up or sit on the couch watching whatever you wanted to. That was at least after you had visited your office and picked up a few things that you needed to get done with writing and such. There were some formats and colors that you needed to okay before Monday morning’s printing.

        It was 4:30 before you even thought about moving from the couch again. Bruce was set to pick you up at 6 for your dinner reservations at Marea which is right on Central Park. It would be a quick ride there but you did feel kind of bad that he was driving from Gotham to New York. It wasn’t that far away but that didn’t mean it didn’t bother you some.

        Since you had plenty of time before he arrived, you got a protein bar and then started touching up your hair once you found the perfect playlist. From there, you thought it best to touch up the little amount of makeup you had on from the errands you had to run earlier and then got dressed. For the time that you had remaining, it was just a matter of waiting. You’ve been on dates with semi important people before. You’ve been out with very important people before on even just business dinners. Hell, you’ve even been to the Met Gala, you just really didn’t want this date to go wrong.

_______________________________________________________________________

        Bruce had already come and was sitting in your living room. He had brought flowers so you were putting them in a vase before you left.

        “You know Clark was actually the one who told me I had to ask you out.” He said making you laugh some.

        “I did know, that man can’t keep his excitement over someone else’s relationships under wraps for the life of him. I’ll thank him if it works out.” You replied putting the flowers into the vase.

        “Well, the only way we’ll know is if we go. Shall we?” He asked gesturing towards the door.

        “Indeed, we shall.”

        The two of you headed out and made your way to the back entrance of the building. Typically, if you were with a larger group of people and didn’t want to be noticed, you’d summon a car to come back there. It was a bit risky at times depending on what was happening or the time, however you were pretty sure you’d be fine, especially now that Bruce was there. He opened the door for you and you slid in, quickly followed by him. The driver already knew where you were going and since you knew the driver, there was no conversation.

_______________________________________________________________________

        Once at the restaurant, you both were out of the car and inside as fast as possible. Before anyone could get any sort of pictures or message that you two were there, you were brought into a nice and quiet back room of the building for your reservation. There you sat down and got your menus.

        “So ... Mr. Wayne, what do you do when you’re not either working a massive corporation or managing a mass company of those interested in intergalactic security?” You asked.

        “Haven’t quite figured that out yet. Having multiple children leaves not much else to do.” He answered.

        “I would assume it would be a bit time consuming. In all aspects.”

        “And you? What with being in a leadership position at the top fashion editorial magazines in the world on top of your countless side jobs. What do you do as a down time?” Bruce questioned mimicking you, making you smirk a bit.

        “Yoga.” You said with a straight face making him cock his brow, “I’m just kidding. In all seriousness, if I have the chance, I get 8-12 hours of sleep.” “So, nothing that exciting as well.”

        “Well we seem to not be the most exciting of people.” He looked a bit relaxed at that moment but almost seemed to have tensioned up once more.

        “Oh, the irony of it. I think if anyone were too exciting they’d ultimately be boring and predictable.”

        “I guess that that is correct.” He smirked at the comment, “You seem more intelligent than what you let off. And that is saying a lot.”        

        “Why thank you. It does serve its purpose. Imagine the editor-and-chief of some magazine being able to follow in conversations on international affairs military and business.” You said, “It’s fun for me.”

        “Must be. Plus is seems a good cover.”

        “It is.”

_______________________________________________________________________

        The two of you talked and talked well into dinner almost forgetting that you would have to leave. It was the first time that either of you had felt comfortable doing anything like this. Sure, you had Diana and he had Clark, but neither of you had seen interactions like this with them. Bruce payed for dinner and the two of you left. This time it was from the front of the restaurant. There was press out front with cameras and questions. You both quickly got into the car and laughed about what tomorrows tabloids would look like.

        Bruce dropped you off. You didn’t let him stay the night, much to his pleasant surprise and he left to head back for Gotham. You locked your door and set the alarm for the apartment, greeting security as they arrived for their night watch. You weren’t quite sure how you felt about everything, you just knew there was nothing negative surrounding the night. Smiling, you went off to bed ready and waiting to see the articles and pictures drowning the important news out tomorrow.

[erin-bo-berin]

Wanna Be Bad

MASTERLIST

I’ll be honest, the idea for this fic came when I was listening to early 2000′s music from my childhood. This was inspired by the song I Wanna Be Bad by Willa Ford (hence why I titled it after the song). If you want to check out the song or listen to it while you read this (which I recommend) you can do so here. Gotta admit though that little 8 year old me had no idea what the ACTUAL meaning of the song was until much, much later.  Anyway, this is a different format than I have written so far, cause I’ve included the lyrics in the story since different parts seem to actually describe what’s going on. The lyrics will be in italics between parts of the story. Hope you all enjoy!

Spencer Reid/Reader

Rating: Mature (smut)

Word Count: 3,524

Do you understand

What I need, need from you?

Just let me be the girl 

To show you, you

Everything that she can be

Is everything that I can be

Fucking Spencer Reid.

Spencer Reid; aka your FBI partner and the one man that you can’t get out of your mind. 

He’d been your partner for over 3 years and extremely welcoming when you joined the Behavioral Analyst Unit of the FBI. At first, he wasn’t a problem and you were friendly.

Until it slowly dawned on you just how attracted you are to him. It had hit you like a bucket of ice water had been poured over your head. That shock was bad enough.

What was worse was the no fraternization between team members rule that came from the unit chief. She was friendly and a team player but it was something that she was strict about. It had never been a problem before, since the rest of the team’s significant others were not a part of the BAU, let alone worked in the FBI. 

But here you were, with a growing attraction to him. It was a crappy situation knowing that your one sided sexual tension with him could never be acted upon simply because you knew Spencer was one to follow the rules. 

My turn

Let me let you know that 

I can’t promise that I won’t do that

So, boy say the time and place

Cause you make me want to misbehave

The things you would do the man.

The things you wish you could do to him.

Your eyes follow him, along with the other teammates. He’s currently explaining a geographical profile he’d worked on for a current case. You’re thankful that all eyes are on him because it disguises your own staring.

You can’t lie, your partner is drop dead gorgeous. Over 6 feet tall—coming in at approximately 6’1, he’s long and lean but with some definite muscle to him. He’s not scrawny like he once was, something the team likes to playfully tease him about, once showing you pictures of the decade younger Reid.

He’s also gotten even more attractive as he aged. Not that he wasn’t cute when he was younger, but he’s aging like a fine wine. At 38, he’s even better looking than you could fathom. 

His brown locks that he always changes up is now on the longer side, his curls sometimes more wild, sometimes more tamed. You’ve imagined many times running your fingers through them.

His dark eyes are as much of a wild card as he is. At times appearing green, others looking like a rich brown. You’d guess they’re hazel but you’re not exactly sure. It’s not like you can bring that up into a random conversation without sounding totally crazy. 

He sported more of an unshaven look these days. After many years of being clean shaven as a young FBI profiler—again, you’d seen plenty of pictures—he had quite the scruffy look going on. Needless to say, you were a big fan.

Now, his lips, something you’d fantasized about a lot. He had lips most women would envy, plump and quite the pale shade of pink. Sometimes they’d darken a shade when he bit down on them while he was thinking.

Speaking of, he had one of the best smiles you had probably ever seen on a man. One that was sure to get any woman’s lady bits roaring.

He kinda also had this habit of licking his lips. It was definitely something he wasn’t conscious of as he did it quite often. Whether it was while he was working, when he was thinking, before saying something, everytime it happened you could feel a desire form deep within you.

Oh, the things that tongue could potentially do.

But it didn’t stop with just looks with the good doctor.

His mind was probably the sexiest thing about him. 

His brain was filled with an immense amount of knowledge. At first it had surprised you at just how attractive you found it, but you quickly learned that you loved to hear him share his facts and statistics. He truly was like no other.

Sometimes you purposely mixed up your facts just so he’d correct you.

And he would. Every single time.

It’s a shame he couldn’t talk smart between your legs.

Spencer Reid was definitely a wild card alright. 

To be so smart, he was hard to figure out. He always seemed to be more reserved with you than the rest of the team members. You knew it could possibly be the case that he’d known them longer, but it always felt like he held himself back.

Your eyes followed his movements, his hands gesturing wildly at his display as he talked. 

His hands were large, with long slender fingers, often used to mess with a pen or pencil absently, or to push his hair back out of his eyes. You didn’t have to explain the kinds of things you’d imagined regarding them.

Today, he was in a navy blue suit, a purple button down and a matching navy tie. He looked good. Not saying there wasn’t a time that he wasn’t, but there was something about today’s attire that was better than usual. 

Purple really suited him, you thought.

It’s a shame (really, a damn shame) that you knew he would never break the rules because if he ever named the time and place...well let’s just say you wouldn’t turn him down in the least.

Maybe it was time to up your game a little.

I wanna be bad

You make bad look so good

I got things on my mind

I never thought I would 

In any other situation you would’ve never thought about tempting fate and ignoring a rule made by your boss. You had sense enough to know it was a bad idea, but something about Spencer was so intoxicating, it was like you could never get enough. The desire burned through you constantly like a paper set aflame.

You told yourself it wasn’t a crime to look nice for work. You had a job where it was reasonable to be a bit more dressy and make yourself look nice. But deep down, you knew you wanted to test the limits.

You went to work one day dressed in a tight black fitting skirt, one that hugged your ass perfectly along with a turquoise button down, some cleavage purposely on show. Paired with a pair of your strappy black work heels, you were prepared to face the day.

Never in a million years did you imagine doing something like this, but here you were. Wild thoughts of Spencer ran rampant in your mind, even in the middle of cases to the point you had to try twice as hard to focus. Maybe it was time for him to have a taste of his own medicine.

It puzzled you for most of the day when he seemed to ignore you more than usual. You’d figured your attraction to him was one sided, but the change in his behavior hurt a bit, knowing he was only interacting with you when he absolutely had to. At the end of the day, he was still your partner.

It was only during a briefing later on, when you were actually entirely focused on work that you felt eyes on you. Your gaze cut across the table just in time to see Spencer’s eyes rake across you, licking his lips in the process. His eyes cut away quickly when his met yours and he grabbed for his cup of coffee taking a drink, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed. 

He was definitely trying to appear as if he wasn’t just staring at you moments before.

A heat stirred within you as you’d realized what had just happened. 

Something was brewing.

I, I wanna be bad

You make bad feel so good

I’m losing all my cool

I’m about to break the rules

I, I wanna be bad 

The tension had begun, ironically, during a raid on a case you were working on. 

After working surveillance with Spencer alone, you’d caught the perp in the act and called for backup immediately. SWAT was already ahead of you, waiting for instructions.

In efforts of a surprise takeover, you both were hidden in a cramped space to try and locate his current location before you sent SWAT inside.

His breath was hot on your neck and you were pressed against him, his chest flesh with your back, all while your ass was pressed against his crotch.

You didn’t miss his sharp intake of breath even though you pretended not to hear it.

Attempting to free yourself of the small space, you happened to brush across him, more specifically his crotch. His hand immediately flew to your hip, grabbing you a little harder than necessary. Your mind was whirling enough as it was at the close proximity.

“Not yet,” he whispered, low enough for you to hear, “SWAT’s about to go in.”

A moment later you both were on the move behind them, announcing that you were FBI. But you didn’t forget the moment that was now seared into your mind.

Spencer was definitely the only one you’d break the rules for.

I want to be bad with you, baby

•

What’s up?

Tell me what to do, how to be

Teach me

All your rules from A to Z

But I don’t want your other girl to see

That you’re messing ‘round with me

You and Spencer didn’t speak about the incident.

But suddenly, his rules had seemed to change.

When it was just the two of you, he actually seemed to flirt with you.

“You not tired yet?” he’d grinned, seeing you pick up more paperwork you’d need to complete before next week.

“Oh, but what if I said that this stack was all yours Spence?”

“Oof,” he mock grimaced, putting a hand dramatically over his heart, “Why do you wound me so?”

You chuckled, plopping it down on your desk, before sitting in your chair.

“Unfortunately, that pile is all mine.”

“Well maybe I can stay late to keep you company and watch you in your misery.” A smirk ghosted over his lips.

You bit your lip, watching him.

He was definitely flirting. Wasn’t he? But you could admit you were bantering more with him, returning his own flirty comments. 

Only, that is, when no one else was around.

It wasn’t a secret that things like this had to be hidden from your unit chief. If she had caught wind or even a tiny bit of suspicion what was simmering between you both, you could possibly be in trouble.

“Oh please, don’t go out of your way to ruin your evening plans with my misery,” you deadpanned, even though he knew you were kidding.

“Let me know if you need anything. A pen, food, a shoulder to cry on.”

You peer sideways at him, half grinning.

“What was that last one?”

He points to his shoulder, a faux frown on his face before chuckling.

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

Should I boy?

Tell me what I got is what you want

Tell, tell me do I, I turn you on?

I don’t want no one judging me

You cannot believe that the team suggested you and Spencer being the ones to go undercover to catch your current unsub. Of all the places.

You were tracking an unsub that was currently killing exotic dancers; his hunting ground being a certain strip club which is where you were currently undercover as, you guessed it, one of the dancers.

Spencer, on the other hand, was dressed as one of the many rich gentleman in the audience, playing the part of another regular man come to see the show. You both had your eyes out on the floor in search of our current unsub.

“Y/N,” came from the hidden earpiece was your boss.

“Be as coy as possible, but refuse any activities with any of the other men. We want to see if that brings our unsub out. You tell them your client is Reid, got it?”

You groan inwardly. This was your worst nightmare due to the fact that your sexual tension was at an all time high with him. You’d rather not jump him with the whole team just outside.

As part of your undercover identity, Candi, you were dressed in a tasseled, silver one piece, cut all the way down your torso to show off your stomach, your boobs practically spilling out of the small swath of fabric covering them. There was just enough fabric to cover your nether regions and it all tied in the back with two thin strings. Basically, it left little to the imagination.

“Sweetheart, how about a little dance?” came from your left.

A distinguished looking gentleman, with white hair held out a twenty in your direction, a grin on his face.

“Sorry, already promised one to that gentleman,” you motioned to Spencer, who was in character, watching some of the other dancers, his eyes roaming the room before they landed on you.

“Gotta go,” you said, with a flirtatious smile. 

The man shrugged and turned his attention to another girl.

You approached Spencer, trying to calm your nerves and keep in character. You put a hand on his shoulder flirtatiously and greet him.

“Hi there, big boy.”

You walk around to face him, hands resting on the back of his chair as you lean into him, pushing your ass outwards while pressing your breasts against his chest.

“How’s it going?” you mumble lowly in his ear. 

Your hands trail over his shoulders as your hips sway back and forth in front of him.

“Nothing yet. I, um, I’ve been keeping an eye out.”

You nod, continuing on. You flip your hair as you turn, your ass grazing his crotch. Your hands glide up your legs as you turn to face him again, your touch moving up your stomach reaching your boobs, beginning to rub them sensually as you bite your lip. Your eyes lock on his as your hands slide up his thighs before you settle in his lap, his hands resting on your bare sides.

His eyes haven’t left you since you began and you see his teeth scrape his bottom lip momentarily. 

“Anyone look suspicious?” you whisper, leaning forward as your hips grind slowly.

His breathing sounds heavier than before and he struggles to answer your question.

“One guy in the corner hasn’t taken his eyes off you.”

Your fingertips trail down his chest. Holding on to the edge of the chair, you lean backwards slowly, in an attempt to be tantalizing and sexy like you’ve seen the other girls do, but also to see the guy Spencer was referring to. You peer to the corner towards your left quickly and see what he’s talking about. 

You hum your agreement and move upright, one arm raised above your head, your fingertips trailing down the opposite arm. His fingers dig into your hips as your hips circle above his crotch.

“Y/N,” he rasped.

It’s then that your thigh brushes his crotch that you can feel he’s hard. You inhale, your eyes widening the slightest as you look at him; his eyes haven’t left you.

Suddenly a voice fills your ear and you know Spencer heard it too.

“We got him!”

I wanna be bad

You make bad look so good 

I got things on my mind

I never thought I would 

After a clothes change, you were back in your normal clothes post undercover job. The heat still burned inside of you hours after what happened at the club. 

You all, indeed, captured the right unsub. Apparently you had caught his eye since you were “new”. Looked like Spencer had been right.

Speaking of, he had practically disappeared after the team bust in to arrest him. You hadn’t seen him until you had gotten back to the BAU and even then he was across the room discussing a closing report with one of the other agents.

You bit your thumbnail as you paced the room. You couldn’t hold out any longer and you knew you had to do something. You were in an empty office down the hall from the BAU unit, knowing he’d be down the hall at any moment. 

Mere minutes later you heard footsteps and you opened the door just enough to see him coming down the hall, looking at a file as he walked. You grabbed his arm and pulled him into the room, closing the door behind him.

His back was against the door and he looked down at you, a slight squint to his eyes, his tongue moving over his lips as he—as usual—licked his lips.

“I had to do something,” you said by way of explanation before grabbing him by his tie and pulling him down towards you.

I, I wanna be bad

You make bad feel so good

I’m losing all my cool

I’m about to break the rules 

I, I wanna be bad 

Your lips met his in a burning kiss. You heard a plop of the file as he tosses it carelessly on the floor before pulling you closer, his lips moving quickly with yours. His hands hooked behind your thighs and he hoisted you up, carrying you towards the empty desk in the room.

“Fuck, earlier,” he breathed, kissing down your jaw, “You drove me crazy.”

“I kinda sensed that,” you chuckled, “Sorry about that.”

He nips your jaw, bending lower to kiss your neck as he sets you on the desk.

“All it took was one look at you in that outfit and I was already hard,” he groaned into your neck, sucking on a spot before flicking his tongue over the bruised skin.

“Why Spencer Reid, do I turn you on?” you smirked, pulling at his tie to undo it.

“Fuck yes. Probably as much as I turn you on, sweetheart.”

Your teeth raked over your bottom lip as the heat roils inside of you. You’re throbbing with want and need; you have an itch only he can possibly scratch.

He has your shirt over your head before you can even get his tie off. He lowers you back against the top of the desk, kissing down your torso, his hands working to remove.

“This is an unfair advantage here,” you moaned, “You’re way overdressed.”

He tosses his tie before pulling off your pants and underwear and you sit up on your elbows, watching him.

With one lick up your slit, you’re a moaning mess.

“I always imagined you talking smart between my legs,” you mumbled, anticipating his next move.

“Mm, that’s something to try another day,” Spencer smirks, unfastening his pants.

He leans over you, kissing you roughly as he slides inside you. He moans against your mouth, his teeth gently tugging your bottom lip as he pulls away and thrusts slow and deep within you.

“Damnit, Spencer you are not going to tease me now like you have for the last 3 years.”

He chuckles, standing upright again, pulling you to the edge and as closely as possible to him as his hips move faster and harder.

It’s rough and fast as if you can’t get enough of each other and he’s quickly got you writhing on the desktop.

“Fucking shit, Y/N,” your name drags from his lips in a low grown. 

This was so much better than you’d even imagined, the lighting fire of ecstasy in your veins being caused by no one but him. Your hands grip the edge of the desk so hard your knuckles turn white.

“Spence!” you shrieked loudly as he hits a particular sensitive spot.

You’re so glad there’s no one else around down the hall.

“Oh my god,” he moans, his own release falling over him.

Your gaze takes in his slackened jaw and thrown back head, his throat vibrating with his groans. It’s so incredibly sexy, you almost go over the edge yourself at the sight.

His thumb circles your clit, insistent on getting you off as well. The pressure builds inside you until you can’t contain it anymore and you let go, ecstasy flowing through your veins, his name falling from your lips repeatedly.

When you finally feel like you can breathe again, you struggle to sit up, already missing the feeling of him inside of you.

“Good God, if only I knew you were as good at that as you are at profiling,” you said, half dazed, reaching for your clothes as he hands them to you.

He snickered as he pulls himself together, bending down to pick up the file on the floor and heads to the door. He stops with one hand on the doorknob and looks at you.

“You know, I kinda hope this isn’t a one time thing,” he said, almost meekly.

Your answer puts a smile on his face.

“Believe me. Next time, I’m having my way with you.”

I, I wanna be bad.

[frillshark-fr]

How do you get people to always buy your dragons? Genuine question

i was gonna say something like “haha i have no fucking clue” but that would be a lie i think about this a lot actually so i might have some insights i’ve been breeding dragons as my primary activity on FR since i started playing FR (in 2014...) and people have only started actually buying dragons from me consistently like, 5-6 months ago, despite 2-3 attempts at running a genuine hatchery onsite that always died due to lack of interest & not really being worth the effort. 

so ive thought a lot about what the hell is happening now and why my dragons are suddenly consistently selling and I think ive come down to these being the main points of advice i can give: 1. make friends! be friendly! don’t be weird! be a cool and fun person to interact with! 2. post consistently. post your dragons consistently. post about other stuff consistently. just be an active member of the community 3. POST YOUR SHIT IN THE “#FLIGHT RISING” TAG. THIS IS PROBABLY THE ONLY TRUELY HELPFUL THING I SAY IN THIS POST 4. make pairs that are sexy as hell and be openly proud of them. make dragons and pairs that you like, not what you think will necessarily sell. people can tell when you like stuff and being genuinely passionate about something, whatever the fuck it is, will get other people passionate as well longer versions/explanations under the cut because man this got a mile long. i wasn’t kidding when i said i think about this a lot and i am so sorry if you wanted something concise and useful

1. to be a little glib. i am mutuals/friends with more clout in the FR community than I do kjdshfdsfdhjhkfdf shoutout to everyone who draws their dragons really good on a regular basis because i am riding on your coattails to sell my dragons. i love you this was never my intent, obviously! DO NOT BEFRIEND PEOPLE BECAUSE YOU THINK YOU WILL GET STUFF FROM THEM IT’S JUST A REALLY BAD THING TO DO TO PEOPLE!!! i wouldn’t be friends w/ people if i didn’t genuinely like and get along with them! no amount of pixel cash is worth putting up with people you dont like or abusing people you admire!  but i’d also somehow feel wrong to just... neglect mentioning this factor. idk it’s probably a self-esteem thing sjdkgfhdsf i just Don’t feel like my #success has been totally out of my own effort because its not like im #hustling or whatever i just posted dragons and stuff happened

-----

2. being consistent! just. posting consistently! posting Every Hatchling I Have and Talking About Them On Tumblr!  Once I had a couple nests just sell super fast likely due to aforementioned clout, i was emboldened to just post more of my nests more often and I swear this has more effect than anything else. i just needed the self-esteem boost to Start Doing That posting consistently makes ppl follow u for ur content which gets even more people to look at your dragons which gets more people to buy your dragons.

-

2a. Also just post a lot in general, even if you aren’t necessarily posting about your dragons for sale. it definitely helps! just be friendly and active and people will come

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3. post your shit in the tag. not in “#dragon-sales” or “#fr-dragon-sales” or anything weird like that because I don’t know if anyone actually looks at those, but people definitely browse “#flight rising”. no matter how many followers you have, more people will see your content if you post it in #flight rising than if you just chuck it into the void. 

-

3a. however! do not put links into the post if you want it to actually show up in the tag. tumblr is cool in that it doesn’t actually matter that much when you post something, the same way it really matters on twitter bc twitter has algorithms that decide for you what it thinks you want to be seeing whereas tumblr just shows you everything in chronological order. if you post something into the tag at 1am... it will still be there at 2pm when people log on and start scrolling.

the only thing tumblr seems to consistently hide from a tag (and possibly a dashboard, but idk) are posts with links in them, as a half-assed attempt to limit spam. instead of linking to your sales tab/to the dragons directly in the post, reblog it with the links instead. to reduce latency between a post going up and the links being available, i type out the links in the initial post, cut them, post the thing into the tag, then very quickly reblog, paste the links, and post the reblog jdhfsdf. i don’t know if that benefits anything really? but it can sometimes take me a while to type links, so if i posted, pressed reblog, typed up all the links, then posted, it’d be like ~15 minutes where someone may see the post, think “oh i would like to buy those dragons”, then can’t find the link, think “oh well, i will just find it later”, scroll on, and just... completely forget about it. so uh. go quick?

-

3b. the armchair sociologist in me also thinks self-reblogging has the added benefit of like... you know how people are more likely to tip a barista when a dollar is already in the tip jar? or how people are more likely to take one of those little tabs on a flyer if one of them is already missing? i think that works with notes, too. i don’t know why i think that or why it happens i just swear once a post gets 1 note, suddenly it gets Even More Notes, and if it doesn’t get any notes for a while it will sit at 0 notes until the end of time. so giving yourself 1 obligatory note makes people more likely to interact. i think

-----

4. all of these are hard to quantify but this one is especially so: have cool and unique dragons. make your pairs sexy as hell. don’t put all your eggs (hah) into the one basket of selling dragons that are technically “popular”. we have all seen triple white/triple obsidian/triple orca/triple any other popular colors and cherub/pere/stained or wasp/bee/glim pthahlos or whatever. they’re pretty! we get it! but everyone has had one and everyone has had those pairs and market for dragons like that can be super oversaturated. try to break free from that and sell dragons that people can only get from you. I can’t tell you what to do though bc that rly depends on you. make pairs that you find exciting or interesting and people will feel that. i have a very specific theme and aesthetic that i don’t feel like is especially common on FR and i am genuinely very enthusiastic about it. marine shit is my Thing:tm: both on and off FR and dragons are one of my many ways of expressing that   if you have a Thing:tm:, either some fr-centric aesthetic (like being super into plague or earth or light or something) or something more general (such as any of the -punks or -cores)... just fuckin roll with it honestly. if you’re goth? make got h dragons. like scene stuff that looks straight out of a middle school in 2010? rock that hot-topic lair. outdoorsey type? make dragons that look like you’d meet them on a hike in the woods. it really works with anything!  people can tell when you really love something and i know that seeing someone really love something, even if it’s not necessarily MY thing, makes me really excited too!! 

-

4a. never show fear. people can smell fear. never be like “well this one isn’t that good” because suddenly now you’ve planted the idea that it’s ugly in other people’s heads when they may have really liked it had you not accidentally suggested to them that it’s an ugly dragon. people are EXTREMELY suggestible to even VERY minor cues so be always a little bit bolder than you think you should be you’d be surprised at how many times ive been like “eh, this one’s kind of a dud, i’ll probably have to exalt this one when the auction expires” and then that hatchling is the first to sell. never ever ever ever decide what other people like for them. always act like your dragons are the hottest shit in all the land and Believe It. this is what people mean when they say “fake it till you make it”

- 4b. also, idk if it’s true of everyone but it’s really off-putting to see someone having serious pity-parties for themselves, on sales posts or otherwise. ive had bad experiences with people who are uncomfortably quick to self-depreciate (because they were using their genuine self-hatred to manipulate me or my friends), so i might be a little more trigger-happy about avoiding this behavior than others, but don’t weaponize your sadness to guilt people into doing what you want. it’s really not cool.

-----

okay i think that’s my entire manifesto on how i do dragon selling. anon i am so sorry im sure you were expecting like “believe in yourself :)” and here i am dissecting dragon selling like it’s a frog in a science class

edit: AFTER ALL THAT I STILL THOUGHT OF ONE MORE THING. It’s not really a Point, just a Reminder:

i don’t post about all the times i have to exalt dragons that don’t sell. you are seeing me being very selective about what i post. you dont sit and stare at my lair or click through offspring lists or check old sales posts. there are a lot of times where someone just doesn’t sell. even now when i’m selling stuff pretty consistently i will still sometimes have dragons that don’t sell for seemingly no reason. even dragons I think are sure to sell will sometimes just... not. and that’s ok! you gotta just be.. ok with that. it’s par for the course. i typically list dragons for 7 days on the AH, give them a couple more days after their auction expires (partially because i forget, partially to give them a grace period for people to pm/ask me about them), and then exalt them after that point. w/ some dragons that i don’t think got a fair shake for one reason or another (such as the sales post not showing up in the tag or something) i do a little clearance (like the halloween dragons i recently posted) but for the most part if they don’t sell, i just exalt them. 90% of the time i don’t even bother to level them up i just press the exalt button and call it a day. it’s fine

[themerriweathermage]

Author Interview

I was tagged by @sleepswithvillains . I’ve never been tagged much before so this is kind of new for me, but I love it! Tag me all the time! Also you did it again, where I got the Tumblr notification like right as I went to bed, but my sleep schedule is so wack right now.

Tagging: @guardianofrivendell @moriamithril @sunflower1000 and really whoever wants to do it. Drop me a tag if you decide to do it because I definitely want to see what you have to say!

I have a lot of unfinished fics and not a lot of published works in comparison. 

1. Name: The Merriweather Mage (Tumblr)/ RinzlersGhost (AO3)

2. Fandoms: LOTR/The Hobbit, The Witcher (TV), SWTOR/Star Wars, Pirates of the Caribbean, Harry Potter, Twilight, Underworld (though I’m not active in most of them unless I’m hyper-fixating)

3. Where you post: AO3, Tumblr, and I have an inactive FF.NET account

4. Most popular oneshot: People seem to have a real affinity for Meleth-nin/My Love. I actually hated writing it, because I was in such a bad place after receiving news that my childhood dog had died, but I don’t hate the fic itself.

5. Most popular multichapter: Every Kitten Has Claws which is a Geralt X Druid Fem!Reader. 25 Kudos, 3 bookmarks, 517 hits. Followed by Turuhalme in the Greenwood which is Thranduil X Fem!Reader. 9 Kudos, 1 bookmark, 270 hits. Both contain 18+ Content.

6. Actual worst part of writing: I legitimately hate writing fight scenes. I’m horrible at them and most of my fics contain some sort of fight scene obnoxiously enough. Although the best advice I ever saw on here was to keep your fight scenes short because not very many people are interested in a long drawn out detailed fight scene. 

7. Favorite story you wrote: Bards & Beans Coffee Co. Elrond X Fem!Reader. Was the first time I’d ever written anything in the second person. I based it off of a dream I had about meeting Elrond in a coffee shop. I planned it, wrote it, and posted it in the span of four days. It’s basically as if Middle Earth exists on the other side of meridian locks, and it’s set during the War of the Ring but with some of the characters from the Hobbit so the timelines are pretty pushed together. Your side of the meridian locks has a Earth that is basically a continuous strip of land that varies from high-tech futuristic ports all the way down to medieval ports. Basically the farther North you go, the more high tech and futuristic the land becomes. Quite a shock for those who would have never been to the other side of the locks. 18+ Content.

8. Story you were nervous to post: Most likely all of them. Any of my Twilight work though, I always hesitate about publishing. Sometimes it’s because the stories are close to my heart, but I also know that the fandom can be rabid. Most of the interactions I’ve ever had with Twilight blogs are fine, but there’s a lot of discourse about Twilight right now, and while I appreciate that most people are in the right (the issue with the Quileute tribe, the Cullen’s as villains, Jasper and the Confederacy, the actual legitimacy of the Volturi as a ruling body, etc), this is actually one of the reasons I left the fandom from a writing/following POV. (There are many, many things that are wrong with Twilight and not from a literature point of view. For example, Meyers took a real life Native American tribe and treated them highly unfairly in the books, to the point of calling them dogs which isn’t very fair at all, and they have received no compensation for being used and they are risk in the place they live in now. If you have some time and money, I would recommend checking out the Quileute Move to Higher Ground project.)

9. How you choose your titles: For story titles, I like to choose the main theme or a main phrase that is used. For chapter titles, I either don’t title or I will chose something that is a main part of the chapter.

10. Complete works: Out of the 21 works I have on AO3, 18 of them are completed, although one is an open ended and may be reopened after I get some of the larger works out of my way. As for fics in general that I haven’t published or have published on other platforms, there is 2 of 5 complete works on FF.NET. Some of those stories I will be pulling and deleting. The two complete works will be migrating to AO3.

11. Incomplete works: Actively: Sadril-nin/My Loyal One, A Hunter’s Circlet, and Beauty in Brokenness (unpublished for now). I have a few other inactive LOTR/The Hobbit based fics that I might try to finish after the main two are finished. Inactive: Literally too many to count. I mean, when I wrote my goodbye to the Twilight fandom, I said that I had been writing for the fandom for nearly nine years. I have so many unfinished Twilight fics, well over 100.

12. Do you outline: Not usually. I’m at the point with Sadril-nin right now where I’m literally following a map of Middle Earth and cataloguing the journey across the map, so I guess that could be considered an outline. Mostly if I’m writing for LOTR/The Hobbit, I want to follow the timeline of progression for the story that’s already been written. I do have a little bit of leeway in that gap between The Hobbit and Lord of the Rings though.

13. Coming soon ideas, maybe? I’ve been giving you a taste of Beauty in Brokenness. I do intend to publish it, but it’s a constant struggle to rework it. I have ideas that I want to cement in the story that don’t always come out the way I want them to, so I am consistently reworking parts of it all the time. I will also be rewriting (eventually) Crown of Thorns, which is Pirates of the Caribbean fanfic, Lord Beckett X Siren!OFC. I also appreciate the idea of Nestadion X Centaur Fem!Reader, but instead of being a centaur all the time, you’re actually a shifter who can turn into a centaur. Really confuses a warrior elf to see what amounts to a small human carrying this massive two handed sword around and calling him “princess” all the time.

14. Ask me anything: Is there anything you miss in fanfic? In comparison to the actual book/movie? Not really. I appreciate the original works, but I recognize that they can be flawed and so can their authors/writers. Which is why fanfic is so appealing-- everyone has a different spin on the original; everyone has a different take on the characters, everyone writes differently, and that’s the fascinating part to me. The only downside, of course with any fanfic, is the fandom and it can be hit or miss with people. It is what it is, and the liberty of fanfic is that not everyone is going to like or enjoy your works, and the same goes for your tastes. Are there right or wrong opinions? I don’t know; I’ve both read and written some morally ambiguous fics, and some I would like to forget that I very much haven’t.

15. Best writing traits: Same as the worst writing traits. I’m a sucker for detail. I love it. I want my readers to see it like I do. When I read books or play D&D or play video games, I see it like I’m in a movie. When I write, I want you to see it like you’re on set and the cameras are rolling and you are perfectly prepared. I want you to feel like you are in the story, which is why my oneshots turn into series, and my multi-chapter fics turn into novel length stories. I find it obnoxious at times, because I feel like I can’t ever turn it off, but by the feedback I get, some of y’all really enjoy it, so let’s get this show on the road.

16. Upcoming Story You Are Most Excited to Write: Uhhhh, let me go browse my WIP folder. I’ve put quite a bit of research into rewriting Crown of Thorns and making it slightly more historically accurate. I know that there will be a Part 2 to Sadril-nin, because I’m not going to time skip a seventy/eighty year gap between the timelines of The Hobbit and Lord of the Rings. And I really don’t want to submit y’all to this absolutely massive story all jam-packed into one fic. Other than that, I’m also sitting on Through Hellfire and High Waters, which is another Elrond X Reader fic that follows the premise of a modern/medieval world all smashed into one. The Queen of Eryn Galen also needs a proper ending and to be published, a Thranduil X OFC fic; this one will also have a Part 2.

17. Spicy Tangential Opinion: I don’t care if my writing makes the characters out of character. I try to tag that if I can, but let’s be real here. Either I’m writing a character that originally has a limited backstory and a very real chance at an open-ended future, or I didn’t like the canon character and I’m rejecting that reality and replacing it with my own. Does it mean that I don’t or am refusing to recognize character flaws? No, and that’s the beauty of fanfic. You can do whatever you want. You might get hate for it or you might not. For example, I am a fan of Severus Snape (RIP Alan Rickman). Does his character have flaws? Yes. Do I like the way he was canonically written? No. Are his actions justifiable? Hell no. Is that going to stop me from being a fan? Again, no. He is arguably one of the most disagreed upon character of that series. I don’t see a need to defend why I write him the way I do. I don’t see a need to defend him in discourse, and I’m certainly not going to be hateful about it. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion about it. Yes, there was probably some underlying intent when the character was written. I’m not here (unless you’re specifically asking my opinion on it) I’m not here to read in between the lines with characters like Snape. I do not care enough to lose friends over opinions like that.

[recurring-polynya]

just curious, what do you think Rukia’s opinions/thoughts are concerning each individual within renji’s friend group? Is she more partial to someone more than others? Also besides herself of course, who do you think she would pick as renji’s 2nd confidant? Thank you so much for answering!

Kira - Rukia likes Kira, but she does not get Kira. Rukia would never write a poem voluntarily. Rukia would never listen to Morrissey. Izuru’s very polite, and he’s kind, and he can be a real snarky bitch, and Rukia loves a snarky bitch. I think he is the one that she would pick as Renji’s 2nd confident. Kira has carried Renji through a Lot of Shit. One big difference between Rukia and Renji is that Renji will dwell on things, and be more introspective, and he can go off and do that with Kira and it’s good for him, in Rukia’s opinion.

Hinamori - Rukia has come around on Momo. I have a headcanon where they rubbed each other poorly in their school days-- Momo had poise and grace and booksmarts in exactly the ways Rukia couldn’t figure out how to achieve, and Rukia was tough and rude and didn’t (seem to) care what anyone thought of her, which Hinamori wished she could manage. Both of them were lower-class, female students, trying to establish their identities in a muscle-bound rich boys club, and neither of them was quite sure how to be, and then stupid Renji had the gall to be friends with both of them, which didn’t help anything. Flash forward a few dozen years. They have both had a bunch of shitty stuff happen to them and survived in spite of it. They are vice-captains now, and they are strong as hell. They are both way more chill about their place in the Gotei, but neither of them have any chill when it comes to defending their friends or proving how cool they are. I like to think the healthiest possible relationship for them is one of cheerful enmity-- considering their powers and skillsets, they make great sparring partners. If Ikkaku and Renji can shit-talk each other at the bar, why can’t they?

I think that Renji and Momo are still friendly, but Momo also has her Hitsugaya- Matsumoto friend group, so she’s maybe not quite as close to Renji as Izuru is.

Hisagi - Hisagi is a very weird character, and the more you know about him, the weirder he is. He seems cool, with his no sleeves and his punk hair, but then he writes for the school Gotei newspaper. He had a guitar for like 30 years before a teen taught him to play it. He rode a motorbike around the Seireitei and got yelled at. If he were actually cool, Rukia would actually be intimidated by him. One of her worst fears is that Renji is cooler than she is, and if he hung out with a dude as cool as Hisagi appears to be, Rukia would simply die. But no. Shuuhei is perfect, in that he is actually ridiculous, and he is forever dragging Izuru and Renji into his ridiculous schemes with him. Rukia approves of him completely, for making Renji less-cool-by-association. Also, Rukia once outdrank Shuuhei in a truly embarrassing fashion. No one ever talks about it, but also, everyone remembers.

Matsumoto -  Rukia is pro-Matsumoto. Matsumoto knows a lot of embarrassing stories about Renji. I may be alone in this, but I personally headcanon that Matsumoto is Not Renji’s Type, and most of their public friendship is bonding over being thotty. Behind the scenes, I think Matsumoto is a very thoughtful and supportive friend, as is Renji, and they will sometimes seek each other out to talk stuff through, and Rukia does not have a problem with this. Matsumoto is probably #3 confidant.

Ikkaku - Rukia finds Ikkaku to be ridiculous. She has no respect for him, none whatsoever. Renji has a small amount of residual respect for him, in a very pathetic “my old beloved sempai!” way, and Rukia loves to drag him about it. She loves to yell at Ikkaku at the bar and she will fight Ikkaku any chance she gets.

Yumichika - Everything Renji knows about Looking Good came from Yumichika (maybe there was some from Rangiku), and Rukia is very grateful for that. Yumichika has a tendency to take Rukia seriously, which she appreciates. I think Yumichika is a big Byakuya-stan, aesthetically speaking, and Rukia can appreciate that. They also have a certain comradery that comes from being partners with idiots, and they respect each other’s straightman game. I think Yumichika was the person who dragged Renji up out of his rock-bottom days, and so he knows a lot about Renji, but like Ikkaku, he treats this as a “I have taught you all I can” and no longer discusses personal problems with him. He will still give Renji hair tips, but, like, in a collegial way, rather than a mentor-student way. I think that if Yumichika had some sort of terrible relationship issue with Ikkaku, Renji might actually be the person he would talk to, if he could bring himself to talk about a personal problem.

Iba - Iba is who he is. You can take Iba or you can leave him, it’s up to you. Rukia appreciates his deal, but he is very much Renji’s friend and Renji gets to deal with him.

The Kenpachi -  Is Renji friends with the Kenpachi? Probably as much as anyone. Rukia doesn’t like to admit it, but she is legit intimidated by the Kenpachi, and finds Renji’s Kenpachi stories to be the most horrifying Renji stories. That being said, I think if Rukia were in a situation where she had to actually interact with him (like the AU I am never not thinking about where Renji gets adopted by Byakuya and Rukia joins Squad 11), she would realize that’s he’s honestly just a very non-complex guy whose special interest is fighting, and they would get along great.

Rikichi - Rukia cannot believe Renji has a tiny stan. She can actually. Jesus, Renji. Anyway, Rikichi exists, and he’s part of Squad 6, you just have to take him at face value. In one of the novels, it’s stated that Rikichi makes 3rd Seat, which is insane to me, and I like to believe that at some point, Rukia realized he was actually very good at kidou, but didn’t use it because Renji doesn’t use it, so she trains him up, after making him promise not to get any more brow tatts.

Akon - We don’t get to see much Akon friendship in canon, but at very least, they have daughters the same age, (I have to believe that Akon does most of the Nemuri-parenting because I hate Mayuri so much that I frequently forget he exists). Also, Akon just fits right in with the general vibe of Renji’s pals. I like to think, though, that Rukia and Renji got to be friends with him after they got back together, so he’s more like their friend than just Renji’s friend. Rukia very fond of Akon because she likes weirdos. Unlike Kurotsuchi and Urahara, I think Akon is a straight-shooter, and Rukia hates getting jerked around, so he is her preferred source of Science Info, which sort of evolves into a friendship. Rukia is pretty sure Akon is objectively cooler than Hisagi, but it doesn’t need to be said.

Sasakibe - Renji is not friends with Sasakibe, he just felt bad for him at the bar that one time.

[latibulx]

booyoung and byul ( not a lot of interactions between the two but i do be curious :O )

ULTIMATE SHIP MEME! ㅡ open ㅡ @pathwae

General:

Rate the Ship -   Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs

How long will they last? - I think they might have a few break-ups here and there; probably because of the distance between them that makes it difficult to maintain a romantic relationship. And also, perhaps because they both end up quite busy with their own work/passion. However, if they manage to find their rhythm and work on their own selves, I can see them growing old together.

How quickly did/will they fall in love? - Okay, my headcanon is that they met through friends they have in common and they immediately hit it off and became friends rather quickly. Falling in love came naturally as they got to spend more time together and got to know each other better, most likely realizing how well they were fitting each other. I imagine it happened over the course of several months because neither Byul or Booyoung wanted to rush into a relationship and take the risk to ruin their friendship.

How was their first kiss? - I imagine that Booyoung would have invited Byul to see her perform because he had promised her that he'd come see her at least once. And, after the performance, instead of going back to their own place, they decided to have a late dinner together and take a walk by the Cheonggyechon river. And, Byul probably made her laugh while they were sitting, their feet in the water, and they were flirtingㅡ a little more than usual, both high on how perfect that night feels. And then it just came naturally, his hand on her cheek and her face leaning towards his; their lips meeting in a sweet, and a timid first kiss.

Wedding:

Who proposed? - Byul, because he knows that Booyoung is really romantic and she would definitely want a sweet proposal.

Who is the best man/men? - Byul's best friend or someone from his family he is close to.

Who is the braid’s maid(s)? - Booyoung's best friends and music partners!

Who did the most planning? - I can see them planning together but Byul being a bit lost at some point with everything there is to plan and take care of, haha.

Who stressed the most? - Byul, maybe? Booyoung would be mostly excited and all over the place because!! they're getting married!!

How fancy was the ceremony? - Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 - I don't see them having a very fancy wedding and instead something more intimate, with only they people they care about. But because Booyoung's grandparents are attached to tradition, they still would have to wear hanboks and get married properly.| 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - Acquaintances and friends they only hear about once a year, probably.

Sex:

Who is on top? - Depends of the mood! Mostly Byul, I'd say, but sometimes Booyoung ends up on top.

Who is the one to instigate things? - Once again, it depends of the mood. Once they've gone past their hesitations and embarrassment, they'll probably feel comfortable enough to show the other when they are in the mood.

How healthy is their sex life? - Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 - I think that when they are not countries apart, they want to make the most out of the time together and it does involve regular sex. But then it happens that even when they're in the same city, they're both busy and they have to work on finding a balance on their personal lives and their work. | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now

How kinky are they? - Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 - I see them as a rather vanilla couple who enjoy trying out new positions and maybe use some toys to spice things up but they mostly enjoy the connection making love brings between them. | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head

How long do they normally last? - It depends if they're tired or not. Or if they take their time or not. Perhaps between 30 min and one hour?

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - Yes! I feel like it's important to them that they both give as much as they've received.

How rough are they in bed? - Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time - while they might spice things up every so often, I feel like they are rarely rough in bed, because it doesn't really fit their personalities. | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? - No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 - every opportunity is a good opportunity to cuddle! especially when they haven't seen each other in a while. | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? - they initially wanted to stop at two children, but then Booyoung unexpectedly got pregnant with twins, so they've got four children!

How many children will they adopt? - once their children will be all grown up, I definitely can see Booyoung suggesting that they consider adopting. So, maybe they'll have two more children, or maybe three.

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - Byul! He's a very helpful father and doesn't hesitate to be on diapers duty.

Who is the stricter parent? - None of them are really strict.

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - Byul, because Booyoung is the one to encourage them to go on adventures, pft.

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - Booyoung, because Byul is the one dressing the kids for school. (If that was Booyoung, she'd undoubtedly make their kids wear hanboks!)

Who is the more loved parent? - no differences in this house, they all love each other very much

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? - both, they both want to be here for their children in every moment of their lives, including stressful PTA meetings.

Who cried the most at graduation? - Byul, because he's remembered how far he has come since he has himself graduated and he feels incredibly happy to be able to see his own children graduate.

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - I can see Byul doing that too! But, let's be honest, Booyoung would do anything for their children too.

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? - Booyoung. She's good with her hands, and her grandmother has taught her how to cook since a young age.

Who is the most picky in their food choice? - None of them are very picky, they even have similar taste so it's easy to choose what dishes they'll eat.

Who does the grocery shopping? - Together as often as they can, and if one is busy, the other will go alone.

How often do they bake desserts? - Rarely, they prefer to buy them directly at the bakery. At least they're certain to not be disappointed!

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - Meat lovers.

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - Both! Booyoung is a romantic and definitely remember their anniversaries and would cook something very nice for dinner, but I also can see Byul making an effort and actually cooking dinner for Booyoung to surprise her.

Who is more likely to suggest going out? - Maybe Booyoung, especially on days where they are too tired to cook but don't want to order take-out food. And she'd always say that it always feels like they're going out on a date when they eat out.

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidentaly while cooking? - Byul? I'm not sure, haha. None of them.

Chores:

Who cleans the room? - Both, we like sharing chores in this house!

Who is really against chores? - Both, too. They both have their days where they absolutely don't want to clean so the other finds a way to motivate them. Maybe with little smooches and sweet words.

Who cleans up after the pets? - Byul, probably. Booyoung isn't against it but she always manages to convince him to do it instead.

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - None of them, they like their house clean!

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - They don't really stress out unless Booyoung's grandparents are visiting and in that case both are stressed!

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - I can see Byul in that situation, haha.

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - Booyoung, especially because she's always having a little concert while she's showering, haha. And if they're bathing together, it lasts even longer!

Who takes the dog out for a walk? - Both of them because it's relaxing to be walking outside together with the dog.

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - Booyoung loves tradition so... Every time there's a holiday coming around, you can be sure that the house will be decorated!

What are their goals for the relationship? - Communication and respect and love. I think they want a healthy relationship in which they aren't afraid to tell each other how they feel, even when they aren't feeling good.

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - Before they become parents, both. Then, none of them. They forget what it means to oversleep, haha.

Who plays the most pranks? - Both! Honestly, they can be such kids at times, I can see them running around the apartment having a water fight or a tickle fightㅡ or even a random pillow fight when they're supposed to be watching something on TV.