#sometimes i don't realize how much of an achievement that is

[summercreolefanfictioner]

the scent wafts in, her name making him beg on his knees chap 1.2

pairing: dabi / todoroki touya x fem!oc / reader (MODERN AU)

summary: He mentions her name after 6 months in therapy, absentmindedly narrating vivid memories of her. She was the only good thing during his darkest times.

(In which Touya returns home after rebelling against his family for 7 years. And no, it wasn't about forgiveness. He wanted to fix himself because of a certain someone.)

themes: nsfw, domestic abuse, violence, alcoholism, cigarette smoking, toxic relationships, mental health, co-dependency and other related themes (YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED)

notes: for this one, pls keep in mind that touya didn't have much scars on his face; mostly are on his body to accomodate the plot; charas might be ooc since this is modern au

It was after 4 days that he finally revealed about the Todoroki family, the scandalous story of Enji Todoroki, and the abuse they have endured in his hands based on what he had experienced until 19. To be honest, everything wasn't really how they started. Touya grew up seeing Enji so proud of him, prancing him around as his firstborn, the one who will continue his dream of being the number one corporation in Japan with the best workforce and highest earning. Touya was actually more excited to learn more about business at a young age, studying how money worked through stock exchange games and trying to beat his father through crossword puzzles.

Then the next year, Fuyumi was born, and they were almost the same age, separated by months. One could even say she became his twin, and they shared the same room, the same bed, the same food, the same unisex clothes, the same words—just not the appearance and gender. When it was just the two of them, they somewhat understood each other even if Fuyumi sometimes find him annoying because of his silly pranks.

As he tells this to his therapist, he realizes a shocking truth.

Their family was okay back then. There were a lot of good times, and he had a hunch Fuyumi was the one who remembered most of them when it was supposed to be him, the oldest of the bunch. That's why it was a lot easy for her to forgive him. That's why she hoped so much for him to come back.

His favorite memory was of Fuyumi asking him to create a large drawing of the four of them because she wanted to give something to them. She was holding the same blue flowers their mother liked, and after everything was done, the two siblings met their parents at the living area where they were having tea. Enji ruffled Fuyumi's hair and told her to wash her hands after, noticing the dirt around her hands and in her fingernails. Meanwhile, Rei giggled melodiously, her laughter making Touya embarrassed as she patted his head. They were all happy. Everyone was happy.

When did everything go wrong?

"I think it was when... when Father found me pushing myself so hard because I was so devastated at my achievements that he had enough of me," Touya continued. "Whenever things won't go my way, I tend to neglect my body's capabilities. I stay up all night. I don't eat until I get the equation right. There were times when at a young age, I ripped my hair so bad due to stress. They manifested so bad that I resorted to violence."

A child who throws a violent tantrum. Torn apart posters of comic characters. Ruined picture frames and shattered glasses. Fearful eyes halting in time and unable to stop him from overworking himself. Scattered test papers with scores of 99, 98, 97, and 96 flooded all over like a burning reminder.

"I should've listened to Mother and Fuyumi-chan when they told me to have fun instead."

------

After two weeks, the therapist had the guts to ask him about Natsuo and Shouto. He used to evade questions about his two brothers, usually opting for silence or quickly dismissing the man with answers like, "I don't want to talk about them," or "It's not good." The therapist thought maybe Touya would never be able to discuss things about them, but he knew he had to bring them to the table. After all, the eldest Todoroki had mentioned before that seeing them born had been the small flicker of fire that burned their family down.

"Father thinks me and Fuyumi-chan were failures; it doesn't mean Natsu-kun wasn't either," Touya started, remembering the infant Natsuo and his cries ringing around the Todoroki household. Of course, disappointment was etched again in Enji's face, realizing that Natsuo did not live up to his expectations.

Touya could hear his familiar sigh in head, the way he was stoic but Natsuo was trying his hardest to please him. It broke Touya's heart, the way he could only watch his two siblings casted aside like him, thrown away like a garbage because their potential were wasted. In Enji's eyes, they weren't his children; they were experiments with his wife.

"His masterpiece was my younger brother, Shouto," he concluded.

"Do you hate Shouto?" the therapist asked.

Touya could only shrug, not clearly having a definition of what he felt towards his youngest brother. True, he felt so many things about his brother. He was the bane of his existence, after all. He despised him the day he was born, and yet he felt guilty the moment baby Shouto wrapped his stubby hand around his long finger, cooing at the warmth as he opened his heterochromatic eyes and gazed at him cutely. That day, Touya instantly felt a responsibility as his oldest brother, but at the same time, there was bitterness. He knew the youngest would be Enji's favorite; he just knew it, with the way he watched him all this time while he thinks he's not aware.

It will never be Shouto's fault that they weren't the favorites; but blaming him was so easy Touya could get away with it.

Shouto was unyielding, though; confused as to why Touya didn't like him but still trying his bestest to get along with him. He would trail behind him, meekly asking him to play with him, to ask their father if he could play with them for a bit because he wanted to be like the other kids and play. "You should be grateful he's spending time with you," Touya snarked at him, not speaking the next words. Because he wouldn't do that with us; with me. Of course, Shouto was so pure-hearted he just replied him with, "But being with Touya-nii and the others is a lot better. You all get to play other than study."

But studying and being the best was the only thing that kept Touya driving; it would be his downfall, though. Enji found out what he did to himself, knew from his teachers about his wellbeing. Touya goes to school with deep eyebags. Touya gets sulky about his grades. He snaps at the other kids at school. He almost got into a fight with another classmate for trying to cheer him up with his grades. And the next thing, Touya will be dragged to the hallway and Enji would not hesitate to slap sense in his face, disappointment and anger in his face as he beat Touya up for bringing shame to the family, for acting all so childish over some silly grades.

This was his usual routine. His parents would fight. His siblings will help him up to his feet. Fuyumi-chan will take the first aid kit and tend to his bruises. Natsuo-kun will try to shield Shouto away from the scene even though the youngest was already crying his eyes out, not wanting to see him hurt so bad. Don't cry for me, Shouto. Don't be that way with me. I hate you. I hate you the most. Please, don't be like that.

Afterwards, he would play the good son card, would keep his bursting feelings in check, watch over everything he would say and play right in Enji's palm. He needed his approval again, even if the attention was all showered on Shouto. It was damn frustrating, suffocating him the more he watched Shouto endure the beatings as he treated the three of them like nothing. At that moment, Touya wanted nothing to do with Shouto. If he did, he might unleash all these intrusive thoughts.

Fate was a trickster, and Touya would always find Shouto pleading for help, especially to him of all people. "Touya-nii, save me! Please!" It kept repeating like a broken record, haunting him in his dreams. The wet streaks. The runny nose. His tight fisting on his shirt. The way he would hiss his name. The eyes that cried so many times. Touya will never give in; a lie he told so many times.

Touya did give in, and without much thought. Shouto brought back those feelings he wanted; how it felt so happy that someone needed so much from him. He liked it. He felt appreciated. He felt blessed. He felt so free Shouto had no idea how much Touya wanted this for so long. That's why Touya tutored Shouto in secret, teaching him a thing or two about business, about stock exchange, about the Todoroki family, about the Endeavor Corp.—heck, he even laid down the basics of algebra and science on him, ensuring Shouto would be able to comprehend everything at the age of 5 and 6. It wasn't the same as when Enji acknowledged him, but for Touya, this was enough.

Enji knew about it, of course, and he didn't mind... at first. After all, he thought Touya was just helping his brother learn, keeping his mouth shut as he let them be. This aggravated Touya, pushing him slightly to the edge.

"The least he could do was acknowledge me," Touya stated bitterly to his therapist, remembering how Enji praised Shouto's performance instead of telling him how good of an older brother he was.

"So you used Shouto's kindness, is that it?" the therapist clarified.

Touya nodded. "But sometimes, I pity him. I felt those things only an older brother would feel."

There was a palpable tension as Touya gripped his knees to even out his breathing. The memories were getting more vivid than ever he swore it happened yesterday? Or the other day? But he was a lot younger back then. He was 14 when it happened, and he felt his bruises and scars getting more painful, his skin shivering from a certain coldness. Maybe it was Enji's eyes on him. The same eye color he and Shouto shared. He didn't know. He didn't care.

"Sekoto Peak," he mumbled in a trance, flashes of memories where Shouto held his hand and gazed at the view below him.

"Touya-nii, this is where you go often? It's so cool here!"

"Sometimes, I sleep here under the stars."

"R-Really? Do you bring Fuyumi-nee and Natsu-nii here?"

"I haven't."

"Let's go here, the four of us."

"..."

"Please?"

"I'll see what I can do."

"I couldn't bring them all," Touya admitted, gripping his head to force himself to remember. The therapist recorded his responses through his notes as he muttered everything in a fast pace. "I tried to make a plan. I brought Shouto there a few times without anyone knowing. I asked Natsuo and Fuyumi for help. Before we could all go, Father found out. I couldn't speak. I couldn't fight. I was hit by the bokken. They were all crying. Mother tried to protect me but Father slapped her. I could feel his kick and punch in my gut."

"... did he—"

"No. NO. HE WASN'T DONE!" Touya gulped nervously, imagining the scars on his body burning. "They were hot on my skin. It burned my flesh. I couldn't move. I cried and cried and cried. I begged for him to stop. I want him to stop. The hot iron. Everything. I want the world to stop. I couldn't become the son he wanted. I couldn't be Shouto's big brother. I couldn't give them everything."

And when he ended the story, that was when Touya finally cried, sobbing as fuck. He couldn't care about the world or the pitiful gazes. The boy cried so much from bearing all the sins he didn't do.

------

Touya spent a few months in isolation, his thoughts circling around his childhood and all the painful memories. When he was alone, he would write them all down, narrating that one moment in his and Natsuo's shared bedroom where Shouto secretly snuck in and apologized over and over. He kept blaming himself for Touya's pain. Everything was his fault that Touya was hurt so bad, and Touya wanted to agree. It was true, though. He hurt when he was born. He hurt when he got all the glory. He hurt when he became Enji's pride.

He just went silent about it.

Why did he?

It was never Shouto's fault.

"Shouto," he whispered, his hand reaching out to ruffle his hair despite the searing pain in his arms. There was a weak smile gracing his lips, bruised and battered yet patched up clumsily by a crying Fuyumi. "As I thought, I couldn't be your good older brother. Not anymore."

(Touya never knew but after a few years following his rebellion, Shouto went to Sekoto Peak and stared at the same view Touya admired so much, slept under the stars when everything became too much, and wished the four of them could be there together.)

ps. I removed the last part and placed it on the next chap in case y'all confused bcos the post is too long to read

next chap

masterlist

[t-lostinworlds]

you know, i do realize how hard i can be on myself when it comes to writing. particularly when it comes to finishing a series bc i see other writers being able to complete fic series so easily and i always get so critical of myself over it like, maybe i should write more or maybe i should spend more time on it etc.

but then i thought, usually these fic series have an overall word count of at least 30-40k words. so i'm like girl, you literally just wrote a 30k word "one shot" in roughly 2 weeks. i think you're writing just fine.

[astrarche-x]

back to obsessing over Richard

at first he doesn't seem to have any obvious fatal flaws - no hubris, no hunger for power etc

but his fatal flaw is this little voice in his head that whispers sometimes ''maybe violence IS the answer tho"

it's not like he believes that it's a good solution; but sometimes it's the more reliable solution. more efficient solution. faster solution.

and oh how he wants to speedrun his way back to being respectable citizen

(which is, of course, very ironic given the methods. but deep down he believes that he's so good at killing he can afford being immoral. he tries to get rid of this belief but to no avail.)

[evilfranzkafka]

Some people have no love or respect in their heart for the Monkees 😤

So true and its very sad 😥

[nope-body]

.

[divinesangel]

— 𝐪𝐮𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐞

ps. there's a mini announcement on personal readings at the end of the post! so if you're interested in getting a reading from me, don't miss it out! ♡

— 𝐩𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐚 𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞!

— 𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝟏

your soulmate is a compassionate soul. they've always felt a deep calling to be empathetic and help others. their level of emotional sensitivity is rare in today's world, and they harness that energy to find clarity and purpose in life. i also see that this person can be very spiritual, finding meaning in everything and believing that things happen for a reason. i also see them being the type of person to care a lot about you and always trying to make sure that you're okay.

on the other hand, i can also see that this person takes their relationships very seriously. when they commit to something, they are fully invested. in matters of love, they're not the type to engage in casual flings or without a clear direction. they've experienced several heartbreaks in their love life because of this, perhaps encountering individuals who didn't take them seriously or neglected the relationship due to lack of commitment. they simply weren't on the same page or at the same level, as your soulmate is someone who dates with the intention of marriage.

this person is also someone strategic and knows how to deal with others. they are intuitive while also having a keen understanding of people based on how they handle themselves and their actions. they also love to travel and likely someone who, by the time you meet them, has already visited many countries and will always talk to you about their travels and experiences. it seems that their job is what keeps them constantly traveling and visiting new places. you're going to bring a lot of peace of mind to this person and be great company, finally putting an end to their years of loneliness.

— 𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝟐

the first thing that came to mind is that perhaps this person works in something related to law. it seems like they hold a fairly significant profession, and they're probably in a higher rank or position, which means they carry a lot of responsibility on their shoulders. this person has been through a lot, has had many experiences, and knows very well how the world works and what needs to be done to get to wherever you want to be. because of this, they've had to learn from a very young age that they must protect themselves and be always on guard to prevent others from getting too close or try to take advantage of them.

however, once you break through those barriers and start to get to know this person, you realize that they're actually quite open and very positive about the future. they're quite independent, and it seems like they've always been that way. i feel that much of this is because they've always been alone in all their battles and successes. it's somewhat difficult for this person to accept that others will be happy for them, that they will wish them the best, because they've been through many situations where others may have seen them as a rival or as someone who doesn't deserve what they have, when in reality, they do. it may also be that sometimes they don't feel entirely confident with their achievements and decide to keep them to themselves instead of celebrating them openly.

there's an energy in their lives regarding other people that is quite prominent. i see that they have had many problems with friendships in the past because these friendships didn't treat them entirely well, or perhaps there was a lot of negativity involved, envy, or similar. your soulmate has had to stay strong in all these circumstances and go through those disappointments of believing that someone has the best intentions for them and believing that someone was their friend when in reality, the other person thinks in a totally different way. they've had to go through a lot of negativity that has come from others, but now i see them manifesting what they desire and leading a quieter life.

when you meet them, you'll realize that this person is very good at communication and knows how to express themselves in any situation. i see that you're going to make this person very, very happy, but at the same time, you'll realize that they're someone who carries a lot of responsibilities and a heavy burden on them. this person will be able to find a kind of comfort in you because you'll know how to deal with it and how to make them feel better. it's going to be unusual for them, because they haven't experienced that type of feeling in their life, but they will gladly accept your love.

— 𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝟑

your soulmate seems to be someone who leans towards the more traditional side of things. they value romantic relationships, personal connections, and above all, building a family and having a solid marriage. family happiness and emotional fulfillment are of utmost importance to them, as they deeply cherish such relationships and the joy of a harmonious home. they're affectionate and loving, seeking that sense of completeness and emotional satisfaction in you. while others may perceive them as rigid or overly logical, they're actually quite tender and affectionate. however, this side of them is reserved only for the one they love. initially, they might come across as cold or aloof, but as you get to know them, you'll realize that this facade doesn't reflect who they truly are. they're also likely to possess excellent communication skills and can effectively communicate in any situation. once you're with them, you'll discover the immense love they have to offer and how seriously they take relationships. it's highly probable that they've held onto the idea of marriage and lifelong commitment from a young age, perhaps influenced by their parents or grandparents. there's an energy of someone much older than them, probably a grandparent, guiding them to prioritize lasting connections.

at the moment, i see them going through a period of emotional or spiritual disconnection. they might be facing a challenging time where they feel uncertain about their love life or what the future holds. they seem to be feeling quite stuck despite their efforts, but this phase is temporary and won't last forever. one of their biggest concerns is not being able to find someone who truly understands them. of course, this won't be the case once they meet you, but for now, they're waiting for a change in their life that doesn't seem to come. there's a sense of resentment within them, making them question if what they're hoping for is unattainable or unrealistic. in their mind, all they desire is someone who will be there for them emotionally. it's a type of connection they haven't been able to find with anyone else, and they're unsure of what else to do to feel that way. they long for emotional fulfillment, someone who understands their feelings and makes them feel complete, something they haven't experienced so far. they also hold onto the idea of soulmates, but they're uncertain if it's something real or just a concept from books or movies.

nevertheless, they're someone who remains consistent and stable. this may become more apparent much later because it seems they're currently laying the groundwork for their future stability. but by the time you meet, i see this person being well-established, holding a respected position in society, and commanding much more respect than they do now. they may feel somewhat emotionally empty, but that's where you come in :)

𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐢 𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭

hi! it's daphne here.

i'm currently offering personal readings for €5 ($5.43) so don't hesitate to send me a private message if you're interested!

thank you for being here!

[lxdymoon0357]

I’m seeing requests are open, craving Callisto (from Death is the only ending for the Villainess or Villains are destined to die) X reader. Prompt; they are in a relationship for years, and it’s healthy as it can be, and in healthy relationships arguments are bound to happen no? One day they have an argument that escalates so much that the reader cries, and this is the first time that Callisto witnesses them cry ever. Feel free to range this from tears sliding down the cheeks or full on bawling, but how would Callisto react to seeing his beloved cry for the very first time in an argument in a relationship they have been in for years?

(Okay, now I'm too sure if this came out well....But it's pretty short, kinda upset about that)

© Writing belongs to me, Lxdymoon0357. Do not plagiarize, but reblogging, liking and commenting is deeply appreciated.

The heart tears apart...

...They say guilt is like rust- it is slow...but powerful and it eats the person alive...How was Callisto suppose to realize that saying was true until your cries fell on deaf ears...? This was not what he thought was result in tonight's anger...And it was all his fault...

He had been upset all day after someone spoke ill of your relationship, saying you're too good for him or he's too wild or he's not deserving of it...He's proud of his achievements, including achieving your love, but sometimes when chronic words are repeated...

They're like tiny pebbles, they don't hurt but there is one stone once in a while which when thrown bleeds into the skin...and that's what happens with vile words of stupid nobles who speak the same thing over and over again...Suddenly he didn't like your relationship for a second, not because of you...Because of himself, he felt angry as his mind spoke that he was tying you down, that he was not worthy of this and that there was someone better for you...

"WHAT DON'T YOU REALIZE, IT'S YOUR UTTER FAULT THAT I DON'T LIKE BEING WITH YOU ANYMORE?!" He yelled angrily, his eyes seeing red

......Was that really him? The one who fell down on his knees in a dying breath when he was away form you for too long, and Callisto didn't realize what he said until it fell in your ears and tears slipped down your cheeks..

Those eyes whom he always wanted to be filled with happiness, the same face he wanted to glow with beauty, smiles and laughter were now covered in tears because of him and suddenly inside him broke as he stopped in between his words, frozen..

You staring down on the ground with tears down your cheeks as he stopped his words, absolutely torn apart,

"Baby-I...I."

he couldn't say anything as he walked closer, he had never seen you cry and he knows why he doesn't let you even cry cause the sight was mentally painful to make him cry on his own as he walked a bit close, taking a hold of your wrist of the hand you were using to rub your eyes harshly to wipe the tears away.

You tried to pull away, but his grip on your wrist was tight as he pulled you in a tight hug, hiding your face in his chest, letting your cry ins expensive tuxedo, inhaling his cologne to calm yourself, clinging to him...

You would have never expected an argument to end with this, as he gently cried in your neck as he sat down and picked you up, pulling him on your lap, apologizing over and over in your skin.

You can't deny, it felt bad...but seeing him upset felt even worse, as you softly ran your fingers through his golden-blonde hair, as if threaded with the purest gold in this world...with the shine of a sun, such a bright smile he had..how sad most people couldn't see it, you did...it was gorgeous and so his sadness hurts just as bad as his anger..

You softly pulled his face up and kissed him, maybe you'll try to fix this again, how gorgeous he was..you couldn't deny his love...and you didn't mind his anger directed at you, even if heart tears apart, he fixed it with all he had..

[ivesambrose]

𝔏𝔬𝔳𝔢𝔩𝔶 𝔱𝔥𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔰 𝔱𝔬 𝔩𝔬𝔬𝔨 𝔣𝔬𝔯𝔴𝔞𝔯𝔡 𝔱𝔬 𐙚

Its been a rather cold month so I decided to channel something warm to look forward to 🤍

To book a personal reading with me DM or email me at Ivesambrose@gmail.com with your name, date of birth and query

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Thank you for the tip 🌹

Picture 1

You may have been dealing with challenging situations or people who are quick to throw jabs at you or throw a wrench in your plans. This may have led you to question your own intuition and potential making you scared and hesitant to take a step forward or take any risks in the fear of failure. You'll realize that their scattered mindset and opinions aren't supposed to be your core beliefs. You're not supposed to take advice from people whose life you don't see yourself living. Rather, you should focus on what makes you bloom from within.

You can look forward to a shift in belief system that will in turn change your entire life and reality for the better.

You can also look forward to something that excites you in the form of a rewarding opportunity (especially in terms of career for most of you) that you have been wishing for or were being patient for the longest time.

You can look forward to something valuable that will grow with time and won't be a fleeting thing. You'll be able to trust your intuition and judgement again. You'll be receiving nurturing and quality connections in your life as well. People who care and support you and your dreams.

All of this comes at the small cost of slowly letting go of your self sabotaging tendencies.

Timing: Coming 21 days

Picture 2

You've recently fathomed the power of your thoughts and words and how time and circumstances are irrelevant when it comes to them materalizing. This has been happening a lot but in the past you have questioned them but now you've grown more adamant, strict and assertive. You've learnt to stand your ground. You want to fully step into your power more than anything and allow no one not even yourself to stand in your way.

You can certainly look forward to a completion and celebration. Your labour has been steady and your harvest will be abundant. Enjoy your prosperity. You'll also be embarking on a new journey in your life, ideas and outlook will expand, no one will be able to confine you.

There's a lot of passion coming your way, it will allow you to overcome any fear you may face.

That long awaited renewed hope, clarity and peace is finally yours. You can actually see your path ahead, the destination that you'll reach, so you'll choose to embrace and enjoy your journey.

You can also look forward to a physical glow up, being appreciated, being proud of yourself and your achievements. Shedding guilt. As well as connecting with people or existing friends who feel like your tribe, with whom you don't have to mask your true self to be loved and accepted.

Timings : coming 14 days, stay loyal to your end goals. (September for some of you too)

Picture 3

You can see the dots connecting in your life, maybe you don't know how exactly, you may not have the outline laid out in front of you but when you aren't overthinking it, you realize how one thing leads to another and gain momentum. Things aren't exactly as a standstill as you think. You're extremely disciplined and focused, so whatever you have set sights on is bound to happen or be yours.

You may not realize how powerful your esoteric gifts are but you will. You can look forward to your visions, dreams, written words actually coming true as though it were a prophecy. Be mindful of the people you share your wisdom and insights with. I do see you aren't as happy with your current social circle or people you interact with. You trust very few and you sometimes feel very isolated. But you excellent foresight and there's always a silver lining in your circumstances.

Life will begin to change as the days get warmer and longer.

There's so much beauty in you, you don't even realize that you're a muse to many or are about to be. You might go into hiding only to rise from the ashes as something wild and free. The transformation that you seek is ongoing and something you know is inevitable. Celebrate it when time comes or start from today itself.

Timings: Coming 12 days, summer season (July and August is standing out for some of you as well)

[polyestercleaner]

hello! Can i request dom Joost and sub reader with s degradation kink?

Thanks for the request >U<♡

|Summary:You had an argument with joost and instead of leaving you end up fucking.

|Content Warning⚠️: P in v, fingering, degrading, joost being a little rough on reader. Argument turns to sex if that's not your thing.

You've never been good at controlling your anger or your pain. Always letting those tears slip past your eyes when you couldn't make someone know what you feel, when you realize that maybe, no one will ever get you. "I thought you'd be there." You've asked joost to come by to hang out with you,

you wanted to show him some cool stuff You've done for your work. But instead he ditched you and went out with his friends. You felt hurt. Rightfully so. "Oh come on I'm sorry it's just... I mean is it that big of a deal schat?" He never raises his voice at you. Never. But tonight you felt like if you tried to get your point across any further he's gonna snap. And you won't like it. He never hits you.

Ever that's not who he is and it never will be. But he does get pissed much like any other person. You cross your arms as you walk towards your bed, sitting down as you look at him. He's starring at you, standing with a confused expression. He shrugs. "So what now your just gonna be pissed forever? I'm tired of this. I'm tired of you-I mean. I just can't right now" your eyes go wide as you register what he says. "Come again?" "NOT like that.You know that. I just don't get how it's a big deal."

You scoff at him. He's so ignorant sometimes you just wanna punch him. "I've never missed your concerts or when you get an award. I know im not at as high status as you, but I still achieve stuff." He groans as he turns away from you. "Oh fuck off here we go again with the status" your tears continue to fall as you grip the sheets underneath you.

How could he. You got up, walking towards him. Forcing him to look at you. He hates to see you cry and you know that. He rolls his eyes. But you knew he meant that as a way to get his eyes off of you. "Whats wrong with you" "Listen I AM sorry but I'm just trying to understand you here? How can I fix this ja? What's up whats going on I just don't get you sometimes." Anger is expressed in many forms, and you've been there in every form. Punching things. Yelling. Screaming and crying into a pillow.

But you've never done this. You pull him by his shirt and kissed him, your lips and his attached as you made out with him, he hesitated for a minute before kissing you back. Usual kisses with joost are soft, their sweet and sensual. But this was a kiss of pure hunger and anger. Your hands roamed his shirt as you helped him pull it off, exposing his chest as he slowly pushed you back towards the bed, shoving you ontop of it as he watched you quickly take off your skirt and shirt, your bra following along leaving you in thigh highs and your panties.

He hovered over your body as you made out on the bed. His mouth traveled everywhere on your body. Your neck. Your tits. Lapping at your nipple as he gently puts pressure with his teeth. You gasp as you both continue eating away at eachother roughly, "let me show you how sorry I am. Being all fussy and rude." He shoved your panties to the side before teasing your pussy with a finger, "wet enough for me yeah? You slut. All that fighting got you this horny? You like seeing me pissed? God your pathetic"

His words got to you. Making you even wetter by the second You groaned in response to the feeling of his finger sinking into your pussy, another finger following along, his pace was harsh and fast, his fingers long enough to hit that little sweet spot you never seem to reach to. You whimpered as you threw your head back, your hand grabbing at his wrist, you weren't pulling him off, you just wanted to feel a bit of his flesh since he was hovering over you. Simply watching with amusement.

"Your all gooey on the inside, need my cock inside of you liefde? Yeah?" You nodded quickly as you continued whimpering out his name in such a needy manner, your hips rolling to gain friction each time u felt his fingers slam fully inside of you. "Close.. m'close" you whimpered as joost kept starring at you. Nodding before speaking up. "Yeah? So close right? You wanna cum? You wanna cum around my fingers? Well..." your eyes widen as you felt him pull out of you. Leaving you empty as you watched him unbuckle his pants. "W-wha..." he smirked at the dumbfounded look you had on your face. He pushed himself between your legs before shoving his cock inside of you, joost usually gives you time to adjust.

To take in his features but neither of you were up for that. You tried your best to hold back your moan. If he was gonna tease you this way you were gonna atleast try to aswell.. he looked at you confused. A stiffled whimper leaving and he could immediately tell what you were doing. "Whatever your doing it won't work, you know how much I make you feel good. Just accept it. That's what you get for acting like a cunt."

You didn't care how much he insulted you. You loved every bit of it and you knew he didn't mean it, he knew it aswell. He gripped your hips before slamming his cock into you. His pace rough and harsh as you continued to try and stiffle your moans, "Let's see how well you hold up." He continued pounding into you. You threw a hand to your mouth as you stiffled the noises that urged to come out.

Letting a whimper slip by every now and then but ofcourse it wasn't pleasant enough as hearing your noises loudly. He frowned at you. Watching as you continued to try your best to tease him back. Whatever your technique was it was failing. You squint one eye shut as you suddenly felt joost pull out and slam back inside of you,

skin against skin noises echoing through the room. That was enough to break you. You let out the loudest and most lwedest moan you've ever let out. Shrieking as he began laughing at what you did.

"God you just never fail to be pathetic sometimes schat" he kissed your forehead before placing his hands underneath your arms and pulling you into a gentle hug as he grunts in your ear. You on the other hand, lost it all. All you could think of was joost. You couldn't even be mad anymore. He continued fucking you as you felt your orgasm approaching you.

You shrieked and whimpered like your life depended on it. Suddenly with a string of "Ah! Ah!" Noises you felt him cum inside of you, your orgasm taking over you, everything flashing white as you let out a pathetic helpless whimper. Your clit pulsing and burning as you held joost. "Dont let go...wait" you held him as he panted into your ear.

You heard him gently speak. "I'm sorry.. really liefde. I promise I'll be with you when you need or want me next time." You nodded. Shutting your eyes closed as you both took in eachothers embrace. Panting and grunting as he slowly pulls out of your pussy....

|THANKS FOR THE REQUEST YHEHE O_O

[thebestsetter]

Thinking about Bachira Meguru assuming he's unlovable.

Being called a monster for their whole childhood really makes a mark on a person's life and self-esteem. But for Bachira, they were unavoidable.

At first, he tried to ignore the mean comments and pretend he didn't hear them. Maybe that would make the loneliness go away. Maybe it would make the problems disappear.

"He's a freak!"

"Eww, don't get too close to Bachira! You'll get lice!!"

"He's stinky"

He heard the whispers. He just used to pretend he didn't. For both his and the children's sake. So he could pretend he was normal. At least for a while.

And, sometimes, even parents, grown-ass adults, called him weird. Shouldn't they set an example for their kids? They tell them: "Don't judge other people! You never know what they're going through!", but are always the first to talk shit about someone, even if said someone is a little kid.

"Poor kid. It's probably the parents fault."

"He says sees a 'monster'! He's probably schizophrenic."

"My son is afraid of him. Specially when he's playing soccer. He said he's very scary"

He tried to ignore them. He really did. He tried to smile through it all and treat people the same way he always had nevertheless: with respect. Because crying would make his problems real. He didn't want them to be real. And he was doing a good job at it! But one faithful day, he snapped. The final nail in the coffin.

"When I grow up, I want to be a football player, just like Zico!" 11 year old Bachira said, showing the whole class a drawing of him, Zico and his monster playing soccer together. His smile was as bright and blinding as ever, specially because he was talking about his passion: soccer. He loved it so much. It helped him escape the harsh reality for a while.

The class went silent. They used to think Bachira was weird, to put it slightly, but this? It just made him even more weird! They all knew that he could never be a football player. He was an outcast. A freak. He was a monster. And monsters couldn't live with humans. Nobody wanted a monster on their team.

And so, instead of clapping like they did with the other kids' drawings, the class started to laugh. It started out quiet, but later it turned into a full, loud laugh. All of them. And Bachira always dreamed of making everyone there laugh, but not like this. They weren't laughing with him or because of him, they were laughing at him.

"Uh? What's happening, miss?" He asked the teacher, confused and on the verge of crying. He couldn't cry here. Not in front of them, please. That would be another thing for them to laugh at.

He swears on his life that he heard the teacher laugh a little, before the adult crouched down to match his size, grabbed his drawing and put it on his desk, while the other kids' drawings were being stuck to the board with tape. And then, he heard one of the worst sentences he ever heard in his life. One that he knew would definitely keep him awake at night:

"Meguru, being a football player is too hard for you. Why don't you settle for something more real and reachable? Like a doctor or a lawyer?"

He didn't understand. Some kids here wanted to be astronauts, others wanted to be models. Hell, one wanted to be a dinosaur babysitter. And their drawings were hanging on the wall, like they were going to be achieved. Bachira felt like no one believed in him. Like he was being put aside.

He then realized the problem wasn't what he wanted to do. It was him. Anyone could be a football player, but he couldn't. Because he was a monster. He was different from others.

And so, the tears began to fall. One by one, first from his left away and then from his right eye. His vision began to blurry. Left eye, right eye. Left, right, left right. Kids laughing, teacher laughing. His drawing on the desk. Left, right. Left right. He couldn't even see his own hands anymore from how blurred his vision was. He looked to his side. Left, right. The door. His escape. He needed to leave.

So, without second thought, Bachira ran towards the door. He couldn't care less for the teacher calling his name. He wouldn't come looking for him anyway. Nobody would. Nobody cared enough to do it.

He sat behind a tree, protected by it's shadow. He continued to cry. Hard. He put his hands in his eyes to try and stop the tears from falling, but he couldn't. He needed to let it all out. He just wished he had someone by his side during his breakdown. He really wanted a shoulder to rely on.

"Hey"

Maybe he was, indeed, schizophrenic. Because, the moment he looked up, he saw a girl he swore was too pretty to be real. The sunset made her have an angelic glow, and the wind made her hair flow just the right way. Her face was like a greek statuate, and he swore he could hear a soothing symphony playing in the background when he met her eyes: they were the most beautiful color he had ever seen, and he could imagine himself being lost and found in them. She was just too pretty. Too pretty to be here for him. And so, he managed to stop crying for a while and said, between sniffs:

"Did you lose a bet?"

The way your face contorted was almost comic.

"What?"

"Did someone pay you to come here? Where are the cameras? And how much was it?"

"I didn't lose any bet" you said, frowning. "I came here to check on you because I wanted to. I don't get why everyone laughed at you. Your dream is not stupid. Nobody's dream is."

"Even Richard's? He said he wants to be a dinossaur nanny" he said before he even thought about it. He then widened his eyes, because what if you were Richard's friend? What if you hated him now because he said something bad about your friend? What if he already screwed everything up? What if...

"Okay, you win. That one's actually stupid." You laughed. He made you laugh. This time, someone was laughing because of him. He felt like he was capable of everything at that moment. Your laugh was a sweet, infecting, honey-like melody. It made him wanna laugh too. He didn't realize it, but he had already stopped crying, and was now just staring at you with big, blown and unwavering eyes. His mouth slightly parted, like he was studying you and comitting everything about you to memory. Almost as if you were indeed an ilusion, and would disappear the second he blinked. He couldn't believe you were real. You were real, and you were talking to him.

After a while, you stopped laughing and finally noticed his intense staring. Suddenly bashful, your cheeks turned a bright red.

"I-I just want you to know that you shouldn't be ashamed of your dream. I think- no, I'm sure you can achieve it. You just have to work hard for it. I-I've seen you playing sometimes, and it's honestly amazing how focused you are. Bachira, I want to be your friend. That's it, if you'll let me-"

He hugged you. Hard. If it was any other time, he would have been afraid of scaring you off with the sudden hug, but he couldn't care less right now. He needed this. He needed a friend. You were just what he needed. You were perfect.

He started to cry again. This time, the first tear came out of his right eye. Right, left. His vision was getting blurred from how hard he was smiling. Right, left. Right, left. Your arms hugging him back. Right, left. The sound of the school bell, signalizing the end of the school day. People would see you and him hugging and you would probably be called weird by them for being next to him, but you still didn't break the hug. Right, left.

He didn't want to escape like he did during the class incident. No. He wanted this moment to last forever. He wanted time to stop, to be in your arms for eternity. He didn't want to pull away. He finally made a friend. You were his first friend.

Bachira Meguru used to think he was unlovable, but you proved him wrong. You proved he could, in fact, be loved. He wasn't a monster. He wasn't a freak. He was Bachira Meguru. Your best friend. And he wore that title with pride. Later on, he had the honour to be called your boyfriend, and he was even prouder of that one.

He used to think he would never find happiness. That's why, the moment the ref blew the whistle signalizing the end of Japan U-20 against Blue Lock eleven match and securing Blue Lock's victory, he couldn't think of anything else besides his girl. He ran across the field to you. Because you were like a magnet. He couldn't be apart from you, or else it felt like the whole earth would explode. He was yours and you were his. You both were meant to be.

"You did it! I love you, Meguru!"

He laughed. A pretty, genuine laugh followed by a couple of tears, beginning from his right eye, of course. His mother was recording behind you both, the blue lock team was smirking and whistling at the sight of you two and the television was streaming the moment for the whole world to see. But neither of you cared about the extra eyes. You were the only ones on the world. You always made him feel like that, and he hopes he makes you feel that way, too.

"I love you so much. Thank you."

Thank you for being with me. Thank you for being there. Thank you for not leaving me. Thank you for accepting the title of being my girlfriend proudly. Thank you for being you. Thank you for everything. Thank you.

He then lifted you and spun you in the air, smiling hard. He brought your lips closer and then kissed you. A kiss full of emotion and love. So much love: raw and pure.

You proved he wasn't just lovable. He was also capable of loving. And there's nothing prettier than loving someone.

Bachira Meguru was lovable, and you made sure to show him that. You loved him, and he would do everything to keep it that way forever.

~A/N: there's a "saying" that says that if you're crying and the first tear is from the left eye, you're crying from sadness. If the first tear comes out of the right eye, they're happy tears!!

Masterlist

[tarotwithavi]

3 things you need to let go of in order manifest your dream life

1. Fear of Rejection

Do you realize that your fear of rejection is holding you back from doing so many things? Also why do you fear rejection ever thought about that? Yes we all fear something and rejection is a really scary word. Nobody likes rejection but the truth is the fear of rejection is what is holding us back and those who have let it go of this fear have achieved great things. Everybody is afraid of rejection so to say but what kind of rejection? Societal rejection that the society won't accept you for who you are, romantic rejection that your crush won't like you back or rejection from your own self? Why do you reject yourself? Why do you reject your thoughts? Why do you think that you are not capable of what you desire? This may not be a big thing but in order to evolve and grow you need to go through these questions and ask yourself why you fear rejection.

3 things to do to let go of this fear

Understanding Impermanence: Recognize that rejection is a part of life, and it doesn't define your worth. People's opinions and circumstances change, and rejection doesn't necessarily reflect a permanent state.

Focusing on Growth: Embrace rejection as an opportunity for personal growth. Learn from the experience, adapt, and use it as a stepping stone towards self-improvement.

Building Resilience: Develop resilience by realizing that not every rejection is a personal attack. Building a strong sense of self allows you to withstand setbacks and move forward with confidence.

2. Expectations

Sometimes you expect too much from people and from yourself too and when you cannot fulfill those expectations you feel upset. You have a great heart and there is no doubt about how pure and innocent your energy is. You do your best in everything you do, if you love someone you love them from all your heart and you will do everything for them. You expect others to do the same for you, expecting is not a bad thing but being upset over others not fulfilling YOUR expectations is not good. You need to let go of those expectations. And you don't have to live up to others expectations also. As a human we always expect others to do something for us or we just expect something in return. It's in our nature. You don't have to fulfill others' expectations and others don't have to fulfill yours. So you just need to let go of “expectations”.

Mindful Awareness: Be conscious of your expectations and question whether they are realistic. Sometimes, expectations can set you up for disappointment if they are too rigid or dependent on external factors.

Embracing Flexibility: Cultivate flexibility and openness to different outcomes. This doesn't mean lowering standards, but rather being adaptable to the twists and turns that life may bring.

Communicating Expectations: Clearly communicate your expectations to others when appropriate. This reduces the chances of misunderstandings and aligns everyone involved.

3. Self-Doubt

We've all been there, right? Dealing with self-doubt is like a universal thing and is a common human experience. But, let's be real for a moment, when did we let that self-doubt become the boss of our lives? Like, where did it even come from? Because, let's face it, it's not like self-doubt runs in the family or is scribbled into our DNA. Nah, it's more about what others toss at us. I used to doubt myself and still do actually(sometimes). But hey, I'm putting in the work. The more I do, the clearer it gets why the wise ones always say, "Who cares what anyone else thinks?" It's like, do you, be you, and forget the noise from the peanut gallery.

Positive Self-Talk: Challenge negative thoughts with positive affirmations. Focus on your strengths and past successes to counteract self-doubt.

Setting Realistic Goals: Break down larger goals into smaller, achievable steps. This allows you to build confidence gradually and see tangible progress.

Seeking Support: Share your concerns with trusted friends or a mentor. External perspectives can provide valuable insights and encouragement, helping you overcome self-doubt.

[bellestarot]

Pick a pile

What You need to hear right now ☁️

♡ Take your time to choose

⌢⌢⌢⌢୨୧⌢⌢⌢⌢

Pile I

Pile number 1, you are an extremely hardworking, creative, and funny person with an aura that makes people want to get to know you better. You have a positive energy, but you are very constrained.

At this moment, you are learning to leave something behind, and you often feel indecisive about whether this is really what you need to do to achieve your goal and happiness.

I see that you are an indecisive person, feeling a weight on your shoulders about shaping your future. Everything is so uncertain that you don't know if you are making the right choices.

This blockage that holds you back needs to be released. You need to overcome this fear of challenging yourself and trying something new so that you can achieve your desires and happiness. Your dreams will only come to life and flourish if you allow it to happen.

Perhaps you have people you can count on, a friend or a relative. So take advantage of this support and trust in what you are feeling is your goal because I see that when you do, good things will come to you. Taking risks is also positive; stepping out of your comfort zone is beneficial. For some of you, this is related to a dream of yours.

For some of you, this might be related to a step in a relationship you want to take, or it might be related to a job position where you will need to give a speech or represent an institution. For some of you, it is related to dreams you have.

You have often set them aside, but now a light has rekindled regarding them for you not to give up.

Pile II

Pile 2, I see that after a long time, you decided to open your eyes to what was around you. And after that, everything started to make sense to you, and you succeeded.

You understood yourself better, perhaps liked yourself more than before, and appreciated the person you are.

It says here that nothing happens by chance. Sometimes we have to leave certain situations behind so that a new path can open up and you can receive all the good things from a place that was previously unknown to you.

You stayed stagnant in a particular situation for a long time, but the moment you realized that you are the only one responsible for your own happiness, everything changed, right?

Because you learned to express your desires more?

What you feel and what you want for your life?

Maybe someone created a romantic fantasy for you, promising incredible things, including loyalty, which was broken.

This person deceived you, lied to you, and maybe abandoned you.

But let me tell you something.

There are people who will value who you are and what you deserve. Do not accept something that you do not deserve.

You need some time to be alone and take care of yourself. I know you will get through this, and amazing things are waiting for you.

Pile III

It's not easy growing up, is it? Some of you are coming of age. Currently, others of you are learning from life how to be an adult.

You have an energy of youth that wants to discover the world, to know everything, and thinks it knows everything.

You need to learn to face your difficulties and not run away from them because that only hurts you and leaves you with all the possibilities of what could have happened in your mind. If you had confronted them, you wouldn't be wishing for so many things, right?

I see you having folders on Pinterest. Maybe writing in diaries about your future, what you want for yourself, and you are determined to achieve this, to have this independence to fly far from home, from where you are used to being. But as I said, it’s not easy having responsibilities. You might be going through some conflicts in your life that shake your mental state a bit.

The way to face this is by being less pessimistic. And valuing and trying to see the good things that happen to you amidst so much that hurts you.

Sometimes we don't value what’s happening to us because we can only see the bad things. But when you change your perspective, it completely changes your energy. We only attract good things when we are vibrating positively. That’s what you need to do.

୨୧┈┈┈┈୨୧┈┈┈┈୨୧

[eydi-andrius]

Cruel Existence (Gojo Satoru x Reader)

summary: Gojo broke up with you a week ago. Trying to forget him, you invited your friends to a night out. It was fun while it lasted, until you realized that you never went home to your own place. In fact, you were sleeping soundly on his bed.

cw/tw: angst, hurt, pain, mentions of break up, regret, mentions of drinking until one passes out (please don't do this), trespassing

a/n: this was fun to write. I hope you like it. Again, as much as I appreciate likes, comments and reblogs motivates me better. Thank you!

🐈

It is wild how the stranger you once met becomes the most important person in your life.

Then for one day, life decided to make that person a stranger again.

Some may argue that no, they're not strangers anymore.

However if you think about it, a person who isn't in your life is nothing but a mere stranger.

His memories may be there, and it must have been your greatest treasure. Yet, it doesn't erase the fact that it wasn't them anymore.

Each day, the knife twists deeper, sharper and deadlier the more you think about the what ifs and the whatnots.

It's like a deadly poison slivering inside your vein. Memories turn lethal and invasive. You begged for them to just stop and let you breathe.

You prayed every night for it to be over. As you close your eyes, you wish that the morning will make you feel renewed and the person you once were.

How cruel life can be when all you wanted was to be loved.

Gojo had found you first. Maybe that explains a lot why he ended it in the first place.

"Look at this girl. She called us to drink her sorrows away but she was just holding her beer and staring from afar." Iori called you out. Then, rolled her eyes in annoyance. You gave her a chuckle and muttered an apology.

If she did not call your name, you will probably think about what you did wrong and why he ended your relationship that way. He looks tired, fed up when you ask why. He wasn't the same Satoru to whom you knew. It was true that he could be cold-hearted at times but he never acted that way towards you.

That should have been a red flag but that action had made a swarm of butterflies in your stomach. You almost thought you were special.

You bit your lips as you felt another tear wanting to come out and spill your pain in front of your friends again. Shaking your head and blinking your eyes, you tried your best to stop it.

You called and invited them to forget him. It has been a week. It shouldn't bother you as much anymore. He probably had been enjoying his single life. The pain of being pursued and being rejected after achieving your goal was something you had been trying your best not to overthink about. It might be true, but it wasn't healthy to soak through the scenarios and what ifs you knew nothing about.

It will just kill you inside and there will be no reprieve for it.

Attention and awareness finally came back to what you were doing, and so you looked around. The bar was loud. Blinking lights and the alcohol were giving everyone a false sense of confidence as they danced and socialized on the crowded dance floor. Everyone looked like they were having fun. Now, you kinda felt bad that your friends were just sitting inside the private booth with you. Especially, when all of these independent ladies had been through a tough week doing their work. You felt bad wasting their time to watch you mopping and crying over a man they already told you to be wary about.

"I know what you were thinking. And no, I'd rather sit here and join you into drinking your heart out than be with those strangers. Drink up!" Mei mei raised her eyebrows and tapped your pint. She's always so impressive at reading people. Sometimes you wonder if you had said your thoughts aloud with how accurate her words were, at times.

Heart filled with warmth, with how loving your friends were, you stood up and hugged them all. Shoko who remained quiet and sitted patted your back in reassurance after returning your big hug.

It was probably harder for her to hear what happened. She was close to Gojo. You just hoped she wouldn't be planning his murder though. She may be quiet but when angry, she can be more intense than these two.

Anyway, enough thinking about your ex-boyfriend now! These hot ladies gave you their precious free time so might as well use it wisely and to full extent.

You basically had dragged the three in the middle of the dance floor and showed them your moves, which was nonexistent, so you earned a mocking and hysterical laughter from them. Yet, it did not take long for them to follow suit and even challenge you to a dance battle.

The night was filled with laughter, and for once, during that grueling week, you forgot why you were crying and had to lie about your puffy eyes.

🐈

The pain in your head was intolerable. You had been awake for quite some time now but you cannot even lift your eyelids on how painful it was. You groaned. You moaned. You breathed in and out to make it better but the beating of the unbearable pain seems to get worse.

Well, it was true what they said, it had been fun while it lasted.

Last night was a blast. No one can stop the four of you as you claimed the stage and did your greatest night out. You felt the rush of freedom and so you did not stop taking shots after shots. The consequences were pushed back in the deepest part of your brain. And for once, you let your wild side out in public.

You were probably so wasted but at least managed to get home safe. The proof was the soft mattress of your bed. Your fresh sheet enveloping your exhausted body to a warm embrace while the air conditioner blows the perfect amount of cold. This atmosphere should have pulled you back to sleep, if it weren't for this godforsaken headache. Gosh, you wanted so bad to go back to sleep. But you are in pain, needing to pee and calm your growling hunger. You can even feel the vile gastric threatening to come up due to your empty stomach.

"How long do you plan to sleep on my bed?"

Familiar voice had spoken close to you and your body reacted way too fast. You sat up and opened your eyes. Leaning on the doorway was your ex-boyfriend Gojo Satoru. His blue eyes are neutral but his face says he was pissed.

His hair was damp. Droplets were even falling from it but he wore a white towel around his neck to prevent it from cascading further down to his body. He was half naked, only wearing an untied sweats that was hanging way too low for your comfort. Normally, you would say he was hot. But that was not the most important thing right now.

"What do you think you are doing inside my room-!?" In surprise, you yelled but were met by your very hoarse voice. You even ended up violently coughing and wheezing with how dry your throat was. It was as if you did a 24 hour karaoke with your friends or you competed at a screaming contest.

"Maybe before you groaned and moaned to someone else's bed, make sure you were actually on your bed." He tuts and moves towards where you were sitting. You felt a cold metal placed on your forehead and you sighed in relief. Even though it gave you a quick relief, it only happened for a second.

The pain, forgotten for a moment of shock, was now back twice ruthless. Your head was swimming in pain and you felt lightheaded. You left out a loud burp and you felt the hand, holding the can on your forehead, maneuvered fast to pick up the bucket placed methodically on his bedside. The respect you had for this man for preparing this much so he would be able to stop you if you plan to puke all over his place as revenge.

You wretched as if there was no tomorrow. All contents from last night probably had been vomited earlier because you felt only the acid of vile as it pushes whatever was still left inside of you. Heaving, you accepted the water he provided and gargled the last remaining content of puke in your mouth. You cleaned up using the back of your hand and leaned at the nearby chair while you were still sitting on his bed.

This is probably your year's nightmare. Drinking a lot for the first time, losing your friends by walking to someone else's house and worse, sleeping on your ex's bed and thinking it was so comfortable and homey earlier.

While you were thinking and regretting what you had done, you heard the scraping of the table being pulled closer to where you sat. His presence near you again. The clang of utensils, the sound of the lid being opened and plastic wrappers being crumpled and thrown had almost lull you to sleep when you felt a soft tap of his familiar hand on your shoulder.

With a blink, you straightened up and looked at the store bought food, placed in front of you.

It was cup noodles, a bottle of water and ibuprofen, placed on the side. The cold can of coffee just above it.

"Eat up or you will feel shittier than you are right now." He said more like an order and just stood in front of you with arms crossed.

You gulped and tried your best to eat but your hair kept on falling down and dipping on the cup noodles. You were already aware that you smelled like vomit, who could even imagine you can also smell like cup noodles. With a groan of frustration, you collected your hair on the side and was about to eat again when you felt his hand run through your hair.

He mumbled a soft "Let me." and with practiced moves, he was able to tie your hair with a hair tie. He used to do this a lot when you decided not to cut your hair shorter so you can donate it. He was so sweet and attentive when you were still together and this action of concern was not helping your case.

You sat and ate in silence while he stood there for a while and decided it was too awkward and he left you alone. He closed the door as softly as he could. Once you were sure he was gone, you gave out an empty scream and slapped your face multiple times. The pain, embarrassment, and anger were all mixed up as you felt it rise within you.

With a frustrated groan, you bite your lip and pray that this nightmare was all a dream. But you know better. Eyes staring at the familiar ceiling, you sighed. The room is engulfed with quiet except for your ragged breathing, indiciating, how sick you are.

The silence did not last long when you remembered your phone and frantically looked for it. You saw it placed properly on the nearby stool and almost cried when you saw the numerous texts and calls from your friends. Ranging from the early hours of the day and right now, it was asking for the same thing; where were you? or are you okay?.

Nervous, you tried your best to reply even with shaking hands and once you hit send, they immediately saw it and called.

The call was filled with screams of terror and relief that you were okay. But once they calmed down, you were able to talk to them properly. They even answered the gnawing question you had been wondering about when you saw Gojo in front you.

Around 3 am, you four had decided to book a room in a nearby hotel, instead of getting a cab and going home. You all were too wasted to even trust yourselves that you can all recall how to go home.

They never remember much after that but they were sure you were the first one to sleep on the bed. But later, after around 5 or 6, Iori woke up and saw you weren't there. They were filled with panic and terror because there is no way you can stand up after having that short sleep and being too drunk.

They tried to rationalize that maybe you did go home and tried to call you. But when you were still not picking up, they almost trashed the hotel room. Luckily, the cleaning lady was kind enough. When she saw their panicked and disheveled appearance, she asked the security to check if you left the hotel in one piece. It turns out, she had seen you four together and was also worried that something happened to you too.

They had seen you walking out of the room and through the lobby, up to the entrance. You obviously looked still drunk as you tried to wobble and walk straight ahead, outside of the hotel.

Since then, they have been blowing your phone with texts and calls. They could hear it ringing so they suspected that maybe you accidentally turned it to silent mode or you were kidnapped.

Grateful, you reassured them that you were fine. You made up a story that you booked a new hotel room, in another hotel, probably because you were drunk. Currently, you informed them that you were staying in that room and having breakfast. You reasoned out that you were not able to answer their calls and texts because you can barely open your eyes. It uproared another wave of panic but you told them firmly that you were fine and will call them once you take care of your too drunk ass. To stop them from asking further, you hung up the phone with an excuse that your battery was dying out.

There is no way that you will share to them that your drunk ass went to your ex's huge condominium and you thought as you woke that it was yours. You had been staying and visiting this place that your body immediately thought of this place as your other home.

After finishing your meal, and feeling the medicine taking effect. You psych yourself up to face the inevitable. There is no way you can just walk out of this place without confronting him about what you did and what he had to witness.

You walk to the restroom and try your best to look presentable and not a crazy person.

Once done, you slowly crept towards the door and opened it ajar, you scanned the place and looked for him. He was wearing a black fitted plain shirt, as he sat on the couch, sipping a cup of coffee as he typed something on his laptop. Probably, for work.

You walked slowly towards him and coughed to get his attention. His piercing blue eyes stared back at you, as he removed his glasses and closed his laptop. He grumbled and again, crossed his arms to his chest. His lips were abit pouted and the creases on his head showed a frown.

"I'm really sorry for trespassing. I promise I will never drink that hard again." You promised and even did a pinky swear in front of him. He looked unamused though as he replied with a doubtful "hmmm" and still had the same frowning face.

"Do you remember what you did then?" He asked.

"To be honest, no. I only remember being in a hotel with the girls and sleeping. I don't really remember much about what I did." You gulped when you saw him raised his eyebrow and sighed.

"See those keys?" He pointed at the keys placed on a bowl. "You used that to enter my condo. They were my spare keys that were still hidden in the same place. You were so drunk that you thought you went back home and even slept beside me. I thought I was sleeping with my pillow the whole morning, so imagine my surprise when that pillow turned out to be you." He shared with a firm voice, as if he even cannot fathom what happened.

However, something's amiss with that story.

"No way! Don't lie to me. I agree that I may have done the trespassing but sleeping beside you? Nahhhhhhh! I doubt that. Remember, you're a light sleeper! There is no way I can sneak up on you and sleep." It was now your time to raise your eyebrow and cross your arms at him. You even sounded smug for someone who owed him big time.

You do not believe that other accusation at all. That is so unbelievable and he was probably messing with you so you will feel guiltier from entering his home without permission.

"My new doctor prescribed effective sleeping pills for insomnia this time. I have been sleeping better and on time ever since. I never felt any movement at all." He smirked. And you know, you lose. Gojo never lied about these things and you also knew that he was struggling to sleep.

So if this was true, then for the whole morning, you were sleeping together!?

Who would even do that with her ex? Oh god you are stupid!

His smug look had made you feel ashamed even more and you know that you're red as a tomato. You feel hot all over and even at the end of your ears.

Let's end this humiliation and be done with this asap!

"I- Thank you for taking care of me. I owe you one. I'm so sorry again and will promise not to drink again and disturb you. Again, I am so sorry." With a deep bow, you sincerely apologize and you just hear him say "look up."

"It's alright. I'm glad your safe. Hangover but safe. " He taunted and you just wanted to slap that smirk out of his face. He was obviously implying how humiliating your shenanigans were. And they were, but he doesn't have the right to judge.

"Well then, if there's nothing more, I'll go back to the hotel and meet my friends." A bow again and you were on your way out.

You blinked when he slapped his hands on his thighs before he stood up and used his head to tell you to go first.

You frowned a bit in confusion but followed regardless.

This whole interaction was so awkward but familiar. He does this a lot whenever you visit his home. He usually drives you back home or if he can't, he will see you out to the entrance.

The elevator did not come sooner, however. It was creating unnecessary drama and tension between you two. As you just stood there, holding your bag for dear life. You hugged it for comfort and distraction on this growing awkwardness by standing near him. He looks fit. You imagine running your hands over him again. It was more tempting now than before.

"Please take care of yourself." You heard him speak first, breaking the ice. Your head whipped so fast in his direction when you heard his voice break a little when he said that. But when you looked at him, he titled his head to the side, confused at your action. Maybe you imagined it.

Embarrassed, you used the ping of the elevator as an excuse, thank god, and immediately rode the lift.

He was standing there on the other side, he was staring at you. It feels like someone was looking into your soul. You cannot help but feel vulnerable and open in front of his eyes. He looks solemn, calm.

If you stop me, I will forgive you and run back to your loving arms.

It was too late before you realized that you opened your mouth to speak and called his name.

"Satoru." His first name rang smoothly on your mouth. It feels comfortable and your heart twinged in pain when you realized that it may be the last time you will ever see him.

As the door closes slowly, you have seen his mouth move from your peripheral and he uttered your name softly, like how you say the name of the ones you treasured the most.

You do not know if you were just seeing things but his eyes look emotional, somewhat sad for a second. Before the elevator door finally closes and your name echoed when he said it.

"Y/N."

There were no tears as the lift started going down. You expected that seeing him one last time, you will feel the pain worse than before. Yet, that did not happen.

Staring at your reflection, your eyes look tired. The way those eyes bore at you speaks volume on how your soul truly feels about this.

You had a moment of acceptance when the doors closed in between you two.

A new chapter of your lives will arise. He will have his own world without you. He will be happy. He will be truly madly deeply in love with someone else.

And now, the hurt and pain became numb and cold.

Just imagining that he would love someone much greater than what he had given you was soul crushing to the point of rude awakening.

During those times, you will be happy for him. But you wish, as selfish as it sounds, that he will not be as happy when you were still together.

🐈

Gojo doesn't need to get up to know it was you who entered his condo without notice. He was a bit concerned that you kept on stumbling around and cussing his furniture out that managed to trip you, even though it was clearly your fault.

When he felt the bed dipped and your arms automatically hugging him from behind, it made him a bit nervous. He has to pretend to be asleep or else…….or else what? He never knew.

You smell like alcohol and you're even slurring your words. He never saw you this drunk before. In fact, you never liked alcohol. You have a terrible experience of living with an alcoholic, so a mere smell of alcohol repulses you. He never expected to see you drunk and barely kept together.

He was about to confront you, when he felt your arms tighten around him and your breath tickling his back when you said, "I'm home." with a sigh of relief before passing out.

Gojo had never felt more at peace hearing those words coming from your mouth.

🐈

When he woke up, he was just staring at you. He never had any proper sleep since the break up but knowing you were beside him, he was able to sleep well.

Maybe something inside him had been comforted when you said you were home. It actually warms his heart that you felt at home beside him.

He sat up and, a twang of pain rushed inside his chest. He shakes his hair in annoyance using his right hand.

He doesn't have the right to be sad about it when he was the one who broke it up with you.

Gojo never really knew why he did it in the first place. Sure, his family never approved of you but he never really cared about their opinion. He actually wishes for his old folks to die soon so he doesn't have to pretend that he cares about their words. He grew up without them being around.

Or maybe it was because he felt insecure that someone as kind and loving as you chose him. You were so different to the people he usually surrounds himself around but you were warm and he felt safe around you.

With a frustrated groan, Gojo stood up and was about to walk towards the door when he thought of an idea.

He slowly walked towards where you were asleep, bent down and whispered, "Welcome home." before kissing your forehead.

For the first time, after a week of him trying to justify that he made the right choice, making Nanami, his friend, worry that he was working too much, he felt at peace and happy.

Just for a moment, he wanted to pretend that he did not let you go for something so stupid and you were actually home with him.

[the-authors118]

Can you write something with smut? 👉👈 Davos Blackwood? or Jaeherys? I love your writing style and the story of Lucerys!!! But if you feel uncomfortable with smut it's okay:)) I would like to see a scene showing how Davos would treat his wife. Like on the wedding night and when he realizes that she is pregnant?

Love You<33

Of course darling:)) and thanks for the compliments!!!

DAVOS BLACKWOOD X WIFE/FEM!READER

Warnings: virgin reader, smut, oral sex (fem), Forced marriage, smut, P in V, oral (female), pussy eating, lost virginity, dirty talk, praise kink, unknown to lovers, mention of blood and death.

-You think he doesn't want you but oh, He would do anything for his little wife.

-A Bracken looks at you in a different way? He cuts out his eyes, Even a Blackwood doesn't come out unscathed.

-He is the kind of husband who would ask "Who did this to you?" when you were crying or just heard bad news.

-He would walk through fire for you, oh God he would even kiss you while he still has blood on his face from his enemies.

-Davos Blackwood is a giver. He likes to get down on his knees so everyone can hear who you belong to.

-After the fifth orgasm you achieved with just his tongue, he would teasingly take off his pants. Just to see you shaking and begging.

- "Is five times not enough for you? Should I go harder next time?" He licked his lips as he spread your legs further.

- He would laugh if you could no longer answer and just moved your hips needily towards him. "Good girl" he would praise.

- After your eyes roll back and you can no longer form sentences, he fucks you.

- On the wedding night he is still gentle and soft but when you get used to him oh god... Let me say "you have to match his freak"

- He would like to try everything, and trust me he would be the kind of person who treats his wife lovingly (gentleman) but sometimes when she gets on his nerves too much or is too bossy then he fucks out her attitude.

- He can't imagine becoming a father since he is on the battlefield so much, but when he sees his sweet little wife (with a swollen belly) he can't help but be happy.

-

-------- OKAY OKAY I'LL START NOW....

The wedding celebration was wonderful, Even though you only met your husband today, there was an instant connection between you both. At the table he kept his hand on your thigh the whole time.

He was young, you were happy about that. Your best friend had it worse... A 50 year old... You pulled a face with these thoughts and Davos squeezed your thigh.

"Are you okay, love?" This nickname made butterflies fly around in your stomach. "Everything is fine dear husband" you smile at him. It got louder as the guests got drunk and Davos stood up as he offered you his hand "Shall we now return to our chambers?" You swallowed hard as you thought about what would happen now, You carefully placed your hand in his.

Everyone cheered and wished you luck as you slowly walked behind him, your mother smiled at you again and nodded before the door closed. Your hands started to sweat and Davos stopped. You thought he would be mad at you for being too slow, but he smiled at you and lifted you up bridal style.

You let out a soft scream and clung to his neck. "Don't worry, I've got you" He laughed and took you into the chamber, as he carefully placed you on the bed. He opened his pants and you played nervously with your fingers. When he noticed this he stopped his movements and sat down next to you.

"Do you know what happens now?" You nodded slightly. "My mother explained it to me." Your eyes met and he bit his lip. "I can't believe I was allowed to marry such an innocent, beautiful woman" He stroked her cheek, and lay down. You looked at him confused and he closed his eyes "what are you looking at?" You tilt your head "It's our wedding night" You were afraid he would find you unattractive so you stood up and tried to take off your dress.

He raised his eyebrows and leaned on his elbow, you had your back to him and he found it amusing when you couldn't even take off your dress. You feel a hand on your back opening the dress "let me help you my sweet wife" You felt his breath on your neck as he slowly opened the bows on your dress. He pulled the dress down and slowly opened your corset. Your breath caught as you felt his fingers on your naked body "I'll show you how it feels" he whispered before he kissed you. The kiss was intense and you felt your breath leaving you, Davos led you backwards to the bed.

He pulled away from you as you landed on the bed and you saw him get on his knees. He spread your legs and kissed your inner thighs, his hands held your thighs open as he licked the clit, you breathe heavily and gasp. Davos now took your clitoris between his lips, into his warm mouth. "Fuck" slipped out of your mouth as your whole body started to tingle, pull and pulsate. You wish he would do it faster, but he is content with a kiss between your legs and lets his tongue slide deep again and penetrates you with it.You tilt your head back, grab Davos' hair without thinking and raise your pelvis towards him.

He watches you as he brings you to your first orgasm. You had butterflies in your stomach when your eyes met. He slowly inserted a finger and watched your reaction, you clung to the blanket and moaned softly "Does that feel good?" He curled his finger against a very specific spot, you arch your back as he inserts another finger "You're doing well," he praised and kissed your inner thigh. Your breath quicken as he moved his fingers in and out faster. After your second orgasm, you lay breathless in bed, your stomach rising quickly and you tried to catch your breath. "Oh darling, how am I supposed to explain that I didn't even start with you?" your eyes widened as he took off his pants but you spread your legs wider and wider in excitement. Davos had taken away your fear that there would be no only men enjoy sex like your mother always said... But that both of them can enjoy it too.

"Please" you beg as you throw your head back, Davos found this very amusing so he didn't wait long and pushed it in carefully. He waited until you got used to it. "Are you okay, my love?" He asked as you narrowed your eyes. "Yes... You can move" a whimper escaped your lips as he slowly moved.

He kissed you to distract you from the pain and when your hands went behind his head he took it as a sign to go faster. His kisses traveled down to your neck and he left love bites, as you were a moaning mess his hands squeezed your hips. "you're doing so well, love" he was gentle with you and that made your heart beat louder.

Your bodies were sweating as he fucked you with passion, your legs wrapped around his hips "I-" you didn't get a word in edgeways because he kissed you. "I know... " Your walls tighten around his cock and you come together. He puts his seed in you and pulls out, shortly after he kisses you again.

"Are you tired?" He brushed a strand of hair from your face, you shook your head "No, I'm still processing how good that was" you were dreaming and he laughed. He helped you into the bathtub and hugged you with your back to his chest. You lean your head on his shoulder and to find a comfortable position you move your butt against him, then you feel something hard against your lower spine. Davos breathed heavily into your neck, "Do you think you can do another round?" your breath trembled and you turned to kiss him. Oh that was a hot night between the two newlyweds.

-------------------

- After he found out that you were pregnant he was as happy as a little child.

- every evening he laid his head on your belly and talked to the baby... "Don't bring pain to your mother during childbirth" or "I'll show you how to slit brackens-" you always hit him on the back of the head.

- if he wants to sleep with you he only gives oral sex (he is afraid of hurting the child)

- he would take much better care of you, after all you carry a life within you that he made.

- OVERPROTECTIVE!!!!

- He has become more cautious because you don't want the child to grow up without a father.

- he would be there at the birth, even if no one allowed him, he would hold a knife to the master's throat.

- He would hold her hand and pray quietly that everything would be okay.

- And suddenly he is holding his healthy daughter in his arms.

- His wife would recover and they would be a happy family.

- (Planning to have a second child)

_________

When he found out, Davos spun you around and kissed you. "I'm going to be a father," he said proudly and put a hand on your belly. You smiled "Love, you can't feel the child yet... the masters say it takes about 3 full moons" You took his hand in yours "I love you" you said he kissed your hand "and I love you"

____________

Wow that was really stressful haha!

As you can see, I've never written smut before, so please don't be so hard on me :')

I hope you liked it!

[aniesvision]

i love you too (bff! matt x f! reader)

warnings: reader in this one is bisexual!, suggestive, dry humping, make out, pet names (sweetheart, baby), oral (f! receiving), fingering, p in v, raw (don't do it), love confession!

a/n: hi!! this one's based on this request, i'm sorry it took me so long to post it but i hope you like it!! i decided to make it kinda fluff too, friendly reminder that english is not my first language, enjoy ✨

synopsis: You and Matt are best friends since middle school and both of you have feelings for each other without knowing, what happens when Matt comes back home to see you thinking of him?

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆

It's not unusual for you to sleepover at the triplets house. You're all great friends since middle school and sometimes you travel all the way to Los Angeles just to see them and spend some time together. You're so close to them that you even know their parents, and you're also friends with Justin as well. When you're in Boston, you stick to Nate and some other mutual friends, it's funny how you share almost everything in your life with the triplets, even your friends.

You arrived in L.A a few days ago and according to your plans you're supposed to only go back to Boston next week. Between all three of them, you and Matt became the closest ones. You both have similar taste in almost everything, music, games, tv shows, girls... Yes, girls, he was the first one to know you also like girls, not just boys, and he was so supportive. He encouraged you to tell Nick and Chris too and they also supported you, which made you so glad to have them in your life.

Matt was just your best company to everything, every moment, your best friend. He's the first one you text when you're sad, the first one you call when you have good news. He was the first one to know when you finally kissed a girl, the first one to know you started dated someone new, the first one to know when you broke up, the first one to pop in your mind whenever you were touching yourself.

It took you years to realize that you didn't just like Matt as a friend. And when you did, it scared you so much that you forced yourself to get over it. You tried to go on dates, meet new people, but it was useless.

You'd talk to him everyday, always sharing the news, keeping him updated on whatever's going on with you. And he did the same thing, of course. Part of you knew you needed space if you wanted to truly get over him, but how could you ask for space to your best friend? How could you distance yourself from the best thing that's ever happened to you?

Matt called you two weeks ago to talk to you about all his plans, things he's been working on for so long and you were so proud of him, so proud of what he was achieving. He wanted to see you, and you couldn't say no, you immediately booked your trip to L.A.

And here you are. Matt picked you up at the airport, helped you unpack, asked you to stay in his room (you usually take turns between all three rooms, you don't mind sharing a bed with any of them), bought you your favorite chocolate and your favorite ice cream.

The last days were so great yet so confusing. It was the first time you were seeing Matt after realizing you like him, things were different and he also noticed that, but didn't push you into telling him what was wrong. You always tell him everything, he just waited patiently knowing you'd tell him eventually, whenever you were ready to talk.

Of course it wasn't on your plans to tell him you like him. You just made an extra effort to sound natural and act normally around him.

Matt, Nick and Chris needed to record a car video and you couldn't be more relieved that you were going to have some alone time. You needed to think, and to just simply be by yourself, you love all of them, but being around three guys all the time is exhausting, specially when your feelings are so messed up towards one of them.

You were lying down in Matt's bed, with a pillow in between your legs, mindlessly scrolling through social media.

It's funny to think you're so clueless about what's going on. It seems almost unfair how long Matt's been waiting for you to feel something back for him.

Matt never thought you'd see him as more than just your best friend. You guys know each other for so long and nothing's ever happened before so why would things magically change?

He tried to make you see him, truly see him, making an effort to treat you extra nicely, give you gifts, treat you the way you deserve. He's tried for the last two or three times you've flied to L.A, but it didn't seem to work, you'd still text him about all the people you'd go out with and none of them was him.

He was just about to give up and try to move on. The way you were acting different around him made him think if you were finally connecting the dots and pushing him away. He was wondering if you were mad at him, if you wanted to just ignore and pretend nothing was happening so you wouldn't hurt his feelings. He was wondering if you'd say no, if you'd reject him right away if he tried to make a move.

After recording the car video all he wanted to do was to see you and apologize. He didn't want things to change, he didn't want to lose you, if he couldn't have you as his girlfriend he wanted to at least have you as his best friend.

Nick and Chris walked back to their rooms and Matt waited a bit longer, scared to face you. He walked slowly and silently to his room, thinking about what to say.

You, in the meantime, eventually started to feel bored, since Matt was out with Nick and Chris to film. You searched for a movie and one of them got your attention. Whenever the three of them were out to film, they always took long to come back, so you and your frustrated mind decided on watching a movie with a good amount of sex scenes.

It wasn't your intention to do anything about it, just simply watch it, but you involuntarily grind on the pillow that was in between your legs, the friction making you huff silently. You had no control over your actions at the point and you bury your face onto the pillow to keep you silent. Unfortunately, that didn't just muffled your moans, but made you pass on the sounds of the door opening.

You hear someone clearing their throat and you immediately shut down the tv, looking breathlessly to the direction of the door just to be faced with Matt. You were breathing heavily, cheeks red, eyes widen in shock, hair messy and completely embarrassed.

-Were you just... –He starts to ask, but you interrupt him.

-No. –You quickly respond, making him tilt his hand in sarcasm, closing and locking the door behind him.

-So you weren't grinding on my pillow and I'm insane. –He mocks, with a teasing smirk on his lips. And god the smirk alone made you even wetter.

-I have no idea what you're talking about. –You whisper, watching as he gets closer to the bed.

-So you're definitely not wet, right? –Your eyes widen even more at his statement, but you're quick in denying it with a nod.

-Can I check? –He asks, throwing the pillow aside and hovering you, still with that stupid smirk on his lips.

You don't even know what to say, unsure if you're dreaming or if he was just making a sick joke out of your embarrassment. This kind of interaction never happened between you and Matt, and although your body was screaming to feel something –anything– from him, you were so confused.

His eyes were darker than normal, and although the smirk was still there, he looked serious. You furrow your eyebrows, confused, not wanting to make a wrong decision and ruin things. Seeing your hesitance, he slowly moves his hand to your thigh, caressing it lightly with his thumb.

-You're not gonna answer me? –He tilts his head, leaning closer and making you pull back until you were laying down on the bed again, with him on top of you.

His fingertips explore your skin, stopping by your hip and squeezing it. You bite your lips nervously, not making anything to stop him.

Matt's eyes drop to your lips, silently asking you permission to kiss you, and you knew right there that it was your chance, maybe your only one, so you take it. You wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him closer and brushing your lips against his.

He moans softly against your lips, immediately deepening it and stabilizing his weight on his free forearm, placing it next to your head.

Neither of you could believe it was happening, and the way your lips moved so perfectly together only reassured both of you that there was no such thing as getting over the other, you were both so fucking needy, waiting for something like this to happen for so long.

Matt slides his hand that was on your hip under your shorts, his middle finger tracing a line against your clothed wetness.

-God, you're so fucking wet. –He groans, and all you could do was gasp.

He takes the opportunity to slide his tongue in your mouth, the kiss becoming heated and making both of you wanting more.

You tangle your fingers in his hair as he moves his lips to your neck, his fingers rubbing your clit through your panties.

-Matt, please... –You plead under him, desperate to feel him, not even caring about how eager you looked.

-Patience, sweetheart.

His voice is hoarse and deeper than usual, sending shivers down your spine. Matt pulls away to take off his shirt, taking his hand off your shorts and lifting your t-shirt over your head as well.

He kisses you again, quickly directing his lips to your neck. Matt unclasps your bra in a heartbeat, not waisting any time to lick and nibble your nipples. You gasp at his actions, arching your back and pulling him closer to you by his hair.

He smiles against your nipples, looking up at you while he leaves red and purple marks all over the valley of your boobs. He keeps moving down, your breathing getting heavier each second.

Matt finally slips down your shorts and panties, discarding them on the floor, his face in between your legs as he admires the way you look.

-So beautiful. -He whispers, pressing sweet kisses on your inner thighs.

-Please... -You plead again, but this time he complies.

Matt eats you out slowly, savoring the taste of you. He's so absorbed by the moment, his tongue tasting the sweetest liquid of your wetness, he's absolutely loving to feel you, to have you like this, his only goal for the night is to make you feel the best. He wants to please you, to make you feel things you've never felt before, experience all the things he can provide you. He wants to eat you out not just to make you feel good, but to make you feel loved. He wants to show you through his actions how much he fucking loves you.

-Fuck, Matt. -You moan, just the sight of him driving you crazy.

He smiles, keeping up with his actions and teasing your entrance with his middle finger, pushing it in and thrusting fast and deep. Matt's fingers always caught your attention, and knowing that they could feel as good as they looked is such a precious information.

Matt tries his best to keep eye contact with you, but he was so focused that his eyes could barely stay open, he was pussy drunk already.

With the sensations of being touched by the one you've been craving for so long you reach your orgasm sooner than you wanted to. You cover your mouth when you hear yourself moaning loudly, releasing all over his face, his stupid little chuckle while he looked at you with his chin covered by your juices only served to make you wetter and needier.

Matt quickly discards his own clothes next to yours on the floor, your eyes widening with the sight of him fully naked. He didn't give you any chance to speak, kissing you eagerly and making you taste yourself.

You can feel him passing his tip between your folds, collecting the wetness and entering you without any warnings. You whine, feeling him stretching your walls.

-Fuck, baby, you're so tight. -Matt groans in your ear.

There was no way you'd last, you were sensitive already and he was so fucking hot, your feelings for him only increasing with this new connection, both of you knowing that things were definitely going to change between you two.

Your moans get louder with each thrust, his eyes giving you a warning look before he raised his hand to cover your mouth. You found it so hot that your eyes rolled back, your legs shaking uncontrollably against him. He moved his hips faster, nearing his own climax. Matt buries his face on your neck, bitting and kissing it to keep him quiet as he painted your walls white. He groans in your ear and you finally let yourself cum again.

Both of you stay silent, just catching your breaths without exchanging a word. He slides off of you slowly, throwing himself in the empty space on the bed and looking at you.

Matt was sweaty, his hair sticking on his forehead, cheeks pink and lips parted, just as you were. He couldn't help but admire you, even looking completely fucked up you still looked perfect in his eyes.

You had no idea what to say. The events replayed in your head and now you didn't have a clue on why it happened. Maybe you should clarify your feelings, it wasn't just a friendly fuck or random hook up to you, and you hoped it wasn't just that to him as well.

Matt clears his throat, getting your attention, and he places his hand on your cheek, cupping it gently.

-You good? Can we talk? -He asks softly, trying not to scared you away.

You only nod, incapable of saying anything, waiting for him to talk first.

Matt takes a deep breath before talking, deciding to be honest and just go for it.

-I love you. I'm so sorry for not telling you this before, but I didn't want to ruin things, I was so scared of losing you. I really, really like you, please tell me you feel the same.

You feel your heartbeats racing, it takes you a few seconds to understand that this is truly happening. Matt just confessed his feelings for you and he looked so adorable all shy and anxious like that, waiting for your response. You smile, leaning to kiss him delicately.

-I love you too. -You whisper, and he sighs in relief.

There's a moment of comfortable silence, both of you acknowledging the previous events, cuddling and enjoying each other's presence. There's no need to talk, no need to discuss anything, it was already settled, you love Matt and Matt loves you, and it's all okay.

tags 💕

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[another-goblin]

Spoilers for 2.3

Some thoughts, speculations, and headcanons about our little dialogue with Ratio (+more)

1. This tells me that Ratio and Aventurine are friends (or as close to being friends as both of them are currently capable of, which isn't much, but still). Yes, what Aventurine thinks about TB could have been them discussing their mission. But I choose to think that they just chat with each other sometimes, because they actually enjoy it. Aventurine feels comfortable enough to just share what he thinks about the people he meets, and he knows that Ratio is interested in his opinions, and he's right. He listens and takes note. btw people being actual friends is my favorite trope for romantic couples.

2. Ratio seeing his relationships with Aventurine, and our TB, and people in general as a teacher and a student and being constantly in his teacher mode made me think. Probably all significant relationships in his life were those of a teacher and a student. He cannot see himself in any other role because he has never experienced it himself. I wouldn't be surprised if even his parents provided him with knowledge and education instead of parental love. This may also be why he's so frustrated with people who don't fit these two roles: normal people not interested in bettering themselves through education, students who don't take studying seriously, most scholars, and especially the Geniuses, for not actively sharing their knowledge or doing anything to uplift humanity.

3. Ratio seeing their relationship with Aventurine in particular this way is appropriately weird and a bit unhealthy, in my opinion (but what did we expect from him), considering that they are undeniably close. But that's probably the only way he knows to show his care for somebody:  to teach them stuff and help them better themselves.

4. On Avenrutine's side, he seems amused by it, in a good way (the way he playfully refers to Ratio in the descriptions of some of the 2.1 quests, "Your professor friend," and so on). He even seems to be a bit proud that an actual professor has taken an interest in him.

5. But what can he teach Aventurine? He might share his actual knowledge. I think the "Death" and "Dormancy" part of his note is him doing that. But he mostly sees his duty as a teacher in showing people that they can achieve a lot by themselves if they stop relying on higher beings who don't care about them and start relying on themselves (with little help from Ratio.)

But "relying on himself and achieving things" is what Aventurine has been successfully doing most of his life. So is it the "little help from Ratio" that matters here? Or is he helping Aventurine stop relying on his supposedly supernatural luck and realize how capable he actually is?

6. This. (btw 'philosophical zombie' means "a being in a thought experiment in philosophy of mind that is physically identical to a normal human being but does not have conscious experience" (from wiki), so basically just some weird concept in philosophy.) But what an admirably in-depth knowledge of his 'not partner' he's showing here. Are you equally interested in the inner worlds of all your students, doc?…

7. Anyways, that reminded me of what Jade said about the Stonehearts, even using the same word 'void'. So. Aventurine has a void in his heart, caused by his inability to protect people he cares about. It's very significant that Diamond gave him the power of Preservation specifically to help him fill that void, to be finally able to protect somebody he cares about. The problem is, he doesn't have anyone to protect anymore (he doesn't even see himself as worthy of protection). Until recently. So, and I'm being extremely self-indulgent here, if Ratio got in danger, Aventurine protecting and saving him would fill the void in his heart. And btw what can boost one's self-worth more than protecting somebody who's important to you? I mean, he should snap out of that 'I'm only worth the money my slaveowner paid for me' mentality sooner or later, I hope.

(the problem is, I'm not sure how it can play out now that he doesn't have his stone anymore. And he lost it, not protecting anybody but nearly killing himself and furthering the IPC's agenda. Although doing something like that without the stone would be even more significant)

Also, I hope Ratio won't realize that, and won't deliberately put himself in danger for Aventurine to save him. You know, for educational purposes.

8. He just runs around helping people, making sure everybody's okay, and, emm, 'enhance their living', that's his thing.  And even broadly speaking, with his scientific discoveries, and him saving people on Herta station. And considering that 'everybody's my student' thing, I feel like he sees himself as responsible for everybody (in his own way).

And some people still think that he's selfish and egoistic. He even gets angry when we ask for an autograph:

9. Aaand that's the third time he disappeared in the middle of a conversation involving Aventurine. I understand him, though. As somebody who also 'detests noisy gatherings', group chats aren't much better.

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ok this was supposed to be hidden in tags but i think tumblr found it too scandalous or something i don't know, i'll just leave it here: the more I write about Ratio, the stronger the urge to just call him Rat, you know, lovingly also whoops sorry, I'm physically incapable of writing short posts, it was supposed to be a short comment about their friendship, how much content can I squeeze out of a half-minute long dialogue?, the answer is yes, but I just had to get it out of my system