#sometimes I feel like myself and ¾ the website are speaking different languages

[marietheran-archived]

Oh the joy of being on Tumblr as an outlier who doesn't believe in blocking unless there's harassment 🙃🙃🙃

[sadceline]

THE ENHYPEN HOST || 1

|| Reverse harem || ft. TXT, Minggyu (Seventeen) & BTS

PAIRING: FEM OC X ENHYPEN

WARNINGS: foul language, explicit content, group sex, humiliation, sex in public, threesome, foursoome, rough sex, red flags, immoral acts, unprotected sex, morbid jealousy, comedy, parody, possessiveness, violent quarrels, arguments, betrayals, lies, femdom sometimes.

GENTRE: +18, reverse harem, comedy, enemy to lovers, friends to lovers

SUMMARY: You moved to Seoul to start over after a bad experience, and everything seems to be going well, you even manage to work for HYBE. You discover, however, that you owe them almost a billion won, money you don't have and don't know how to recover: but don't worry because Hybe itself offers you a solution.

Your body in exchange for paying off your debt.

Do you accept?

Okay, follow me for a moment!

A little context is needed to understand the dire situation in witch I find myself.

I'm a graphic designer, I was born in Campania, Italy, but I moved very early to Bologna, still in Italy but in another region, with mom and dad who are now little more than acquaintances to me, where I spent my existence until my 22nd birthday, when I moreover found out that my idiot boyfriend was cheating on me, with his cousin.

I didn't have time to feel bad about it, because I was pretty disgusted in general. However, it wasn't that I was in love with him, I simply found myself a bit lost - with the only known relatives inhabitants of small remote little cities in the Campania hinterland, who haven't seen me in at least ten years, and a failed career as an advertising graphic designer.

Unable to maintain the hectic pace of business, not to mention the harassment and constant mansplaining I was suffering, I retreated into freelancing. By being able to manage my schedule, I could also manage me, and think about the future.

For several months I contemplated going to Spain but then one of the few friends I had left at the time, after hosting me in her house for some strange reason in Sorrento (in Campania!), always kept secret from her, proposed me to leave with her for Seoul.

It was the fashion of the moment, I had heard about it, but I was too focused on self-pity to be interested in such frivolities - as a matter of fact, while we had been planning the trip for months, I got a little obsessed myself.

She likes BTS, for me too overblown, too famous. I used to focus more on the up-and-comers, there was one band in particular, it consisted of one guy who was better looking than the other, however, not being a kpop senior yet I sometimes confused them, I couldn't even pronounce their name.

So you can imagine my excitement when, just two months after moving to Seoul, I was contacted by a Hybe agent who, after looking at my portfolio found on a website, said he was pleasantly impressed and would like something in my style, for the cover of ENYPHEN's next album, that's how he pronounced it!

After I heard him say those words over the phone I was silent, not because I was thinking about it - of course I was speechless.

It had to be some scam, it had to be! There can be no such coincidence in real life.

The man emailed me his calling card, so I could look up the information on the Internet, and a place to meet.

At Hybe's headquarters.

Are you kidding me? Ester said thus. "Do you think I would let you go alone? What if he is a maniac?"

I didn't speak Korean at the time, but I knew English pretty well, so, yes, I was able to get the job, but in the end, for some reason, my illustration was used for the SIDE B of the album, completely different, official but not primary concept version. I was quite hurt at first, but then I realized that it was already absurd to be able to work with them, I really had no complaints.

Of course, we never met either BTS or ENHYPEN, although once I went alone (I couldn't always go with Ester), I saw Beomgyu from TXT who I have a very heavy crush on, although he always gave me very strange vibes. I obviously didn't even get close to him and looked at him from a distance, however, he was in a hurry anyway, so it's not certain that he would stop.

Okay, let's move on!

After the collaboration was over, I pocketed good money, we ate takeout for at least two weeks in a row, we went in clubs all the time, while every now and then I had flashbacks of my ex-boyfriend, for whom I had begun to feel a strange empathy, as if he were mentally ill. It wasn't the cousin thing as the fact that he had no need to look for a lover - we pretty much did it all the time! It was one of the few things I did well and fucking gladly!

But maybe, I wasn't good enough?

Months passed, Ester taught me Korean, which she had taught herself, and while she was having fun with a lot of guys, I had entered a new state of paralysis. After working with Hybe I expected many requests, many contacts, would come, but instead nothing. Small jobs for small activities with small monetary and psychological rewards.

I didn't do the same as Ester not because I was demure - that adjective was never a part of me - as much as because I still couldn't understand let alone speak Korean, and not everyone knew English, so sometimes it happened that I felt uncomfortable, out of place. I managed to use the time of work paralysis to engage in study, I had to have a social life too! Independently of Ester!

Eventually I decided that for ten hours a day Ester and I could communicate only in Korean, she agreed without thinking and began the experiment. After three months I was able to speak Korean almost fluently, to the point that sometimes we did not even return to speaking Italian.

I was ready to embark on enterprising and exciting multi-ethnic relationships, socializing, and trying to understand South Korea better!

I discovered that it was a terrible place.

Not so much from the foreigner's point of view, but for the Koreans themselves, all very rigid with each other and with themselves, always competing, but also misogynistic, macho, not to mention the jokes about foreign women I heard! Terrible.

Tired of South Korea, after only a year, I talked to Ester about going back-it came out as a hypothetical, after all, I was going to do what she wanted anyway. I didn't want to be alone, and she seemed happy to live with me.

She convinced me to stay a little longer, she wanted to introduce me to her official boyfriend, a good one, really, not interested exclusively in sex! Yes, they are all like that, I had experienced it myself.

Just before I could meet him, however, the two broke up. Sad for Ester who looked devastated, but underneath happy, maybe to be able to go back to Sorrento, to breathe clean air, I consoled her for a whole night, we stayed up drinking and laughing, or crying.

Before I went to bed, in the early hours of dawn, I looked at my cell phone as usual and noticed that Hybe had texted me, again!

Sleep disappeared, I went back to Ester, who had fallen asleep on the floor in the living room, and woke her up to tell her the fantastic news, fuck, I was so excited! Who was I going to work for this time? TXT? BTS? Seventeen?

Copyright violation: that was the subject line, and oddly enough, the entire email was written completely and exclusively in Korean. I was being sued on behalf of Hybe for infringing the copyright of a Pakistan artist who had in turn sued Hybe, because of my design, and won!

What great news! I had gotten incredibly good at Korean.

"Ama, are you okay? Oh, Ama? You look pale!" Ester had said, grabbing me by the shoulders and shaking me.

"Hybe wants compensation of eight hundred million won," I had said, under my breath, incredulously, "that's like five hundred thousand euros."

"But you don't have it!"

"I know I don't have it."

"Then you can't give it to them, sue them!"

Yes, it would have been nice and easy but I had no idea how the law worked in Korea, and anyway I couldn't sue them because the contract I had signed had exactly one copyright clause in it. If I had in any way caused damage to the agency's image, through copyright infringement, I would have been called upon to compensate them one billion won, which however had been generously raised to eight hundred million, to make it easier for me, understand?

I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do. Reach Mexico? Return to Italy? Apply for a loan? And would they grant it to me? Ester advised me to talk to them directly and look for a reasonable solution, offered to accompany me, but when we arranged to meet, they told me to show up alone, or with my lawyer, although this was not necessary because we would talk about it cordially.

I knew Korean quite well now, and inside Hybe practically everyone spoke English. I'll go alone.

I met the CEO himself, a man with round glasses and a kind, smiling, serene face, Park Jiwon. He told me to make myself comfortable and congratulated me for going without a lawyer, since what he was going to propose was best heard only by me.

"Changing the illustration from SIDE A to SIDE B, that was your greatest good fortune, wasn't it?" He had said, smiling in that gentle way that was now chilling.

"I am deeply sorry Mr. Park, I have never seen-"

"I know you can't pay - he had politely interrupted me, getting up from his desk and motioning his secretary to leave. - I'm here to offer you something beneficial, in which you'll always be safe and won't have to worry about, however, it's up to you to decide whether you'd rather return the money or not."

It's called the Jyp method.

Are you curious? This is a funny story.

Korean idols, whether male or female, are people of extreme beauty. It's unthinkable that they won't touch or let anyone touch them for years on end, but that's exactly what the fans want - who feel they are in complete control of their bodies.

Creepy, I realize, but it is quite normal in some parts of Asia.

So how can these poor boys "let off steam"?

The males are given a girl to live with them, together they can have as much fun as they want but within the limits of the host's safety and preferences.

For females it is a bit different but he still wanted to explain it to me, in fact for them multiple partners are needed and these partners do not live with them, but they can make appointments, as if they were gigolos working only for them.

The reason why this is used is because of scandals, any outside relationship cannot really be monitored by the agency. If girls and boys do not need to look for a stable partner and can simply take out their sexual desires on someone, the risk of scandal decreases significantly and their popularity is safe, as are the earnings on them.

In contrast to male guests, female guests tend to be a bit more problematic, which is why only one is usually chosen.

He makes it clear up front that it is forbidden to have relationships with idols, both parties must behave respectfully, and for any complaints from the guest, the agency will take appropriate action, so it is a completely safe situation, understand?

It is called the Jyp method because it was the CEO of the music label of the same name who invented it.

What do you care, you should do it! That's what I thought too, I mean - the band in question was really Enyphen! That way you won't have to pay for it anymore and you'll be hanging out with a lot of pretty boys! That's what you're thinking, it's obvious, really - I thought it first.

Yet to say yes, just offhand, I didn't feel like it.

Mr. Park told me to think about it calmly, giving me two days.

I talked to Ester about it; she did not give me any advice.

She just told me to read the contract well, this time, in case I wanted to accept it, but still she would not judge me, and then I could present them to her - even though I still knew nothing about how the matter was going to unfold.

Clearly I agreed, it was obvious, wasn't it? Otherwise we wouldn't be here.

NEXT CHAPTER:

[aeternallis]

High-Context Culture at Play and Kim's Mode of Communicating // a rant

So, something I notice once in awhile when I go through the tags on Ao3 for KPTS fics are commentary on the lack of communication in the show—specifically, how Kim doesn't communicate. Tags such as, "Kim communicates, it's a miracle", "OOC because they actually communicate", "Kim uses his words", "Healthy Communication, so it's OOC", etc etc.

This isn't meant to call anyone out and mind you, this isn't something I've only seen in the KPTS fandom; tags like these are also used in a lot of danmei fics I see, as well as the sheer variety of anime/manga fics I've read in my time.

And ngl, when I see those tags...my gut reaction is often to feel that they sound very much tongue-in-cheek and somewhat mocking. Not just to the character himself, but to the narrative itself. It's a bit uncomfortable at times, reading those kinds of tags, even if I know to myself that there's likely no malicious intent behind it.

For what it's worth, I won't apply bad faith arguments on works of art and creativity, and I'm certainly not looking to police fic on Ao3, yknow?

Having said that though and just because I have yet to see a post talking about this topic explicitly, I also feel that it's important to some degree to understand how people communicate in Thailand, and Asia in general.

Mind you, I’m no expert in Thai culture, lemme repeat that yet again. They have unspoken social rules that I myself wouldn't understand because I'm not Thai, nor do I speak Thai. Asia at large, though sharing a unique set of many similar values, is not a homologous region; each country has a rich tapestry of history and culture and very much different from one another.

Yet, as someone who grew up in an Asian household who shares many of said values, I often feel like—when it comes to East Asian/Southeast Asian fictional characters at large—there has always been an unconscious, almost knee-jerk habit I often see in fanfiction to reshape their style of communication to a more western context, if that makes sense. As someone who used to translate doujinshi and Pixiv 小説 for fun, it was always noticeable and a bit jarring, once I moved over to read my fanfic of choice, yknow.

This isn't inherently or purposefully malicious in any way, but it can feel very dismissive, even if it's unconsciously done.

Thailand and most if not all of SE Asia operate in a high-context culture. High-context culture means that when we communicate, it’s not always so much the words themselves that matter, but the context surrounding those words: body language, tone, eye contact, a person’s social status, etc etc. The words sometimes only convey part of the intent, but it doesn’t convey everything. In some situations, the words themselves can even mean the exact opposite of what they’re trying to convey.

It's why so many misunderstandings happen between international fans on platforms like X, because the nuance is often lost in Google Translate.

On the other end of that, we can use Tumblr as the example: since this is mostly an English-speaking website, for the most part, this hellsite operates on a low-context culture, but is easily ignited with outrage based on seemingly high-context traits. LOLOL

This type of communication is not always easily translated into the subtitles, nor is it remotely perfect in any way. It can be quite complex, and hell, even in the context of its own culture, misunderstandings can and do happen all the time. And, as we've seen from the recent popularity boom of East Asian media from the past two or three decades to the American and western audience at large, some of the most compelling drama can come from these sorts of human error.

Besides that, if I’m being perfectly honest, almost always (one of) the source(s) of fandom drama when it comes to character interpretation is due to the nuances of the high-context culture the story takes place in that can have the loudest enthusiasts arguing back and forth.

This is particularly true for characters like Kim Theerapanyakul, who are meant to be portrayed as mysterious and unreadable.

(Lan Wangji and Hyakuya Mika are also a few that comes to mind in my personal experience, uh huh)

To be quite frank, it's why I personally avoid getting into any nitty gritty discussion when it comes to characters like Kim and LWJ, because they mean so much to many different people, as well as simply for the fact that I do not know everyone's emotional tolerance when it comes to disagreements. Lol What I'm saying right now can be taken to be hard-hitting fandom policing, when I'm really trying hard not for it to sound like that, nor is it even my intent. I'm not telling anyone that they're wrong or that they've misinterpreted the characters, but what I am saying, is that people in fandoms, especially for the English-Only Speakers at large, need to be more consciously aware of their cultural biases.

And before I go on, mind you, it’s perfectly okay to have cultural biases—we all have them, myself included, that's just a fact of life. No one is exempt from this, if anyone is itching to point fingers.

I don't think it's an unreasonable thing to say that if one is engaging in media that's not from their cultural context, it's good to be more aware of the surrounding cultural norms and values of that said piece of media when you apply your own interpretation to it, and especially when you may not be the intended audience.

It’s why “your headcanons are not my headcanons” is, I will always believe, a very good rule to adhere to, especially when peeps disagree with popular headcanons, so fandoms can be more respectful and tolerant of each otherrrrrrr when disagreements inevitably crop upppppp, but anywayyyyyy~

I’ve met enough expats who’ve lived abroad in my current line of work to say that trying to understand the unspoken social rules, norms, values, etc. of the foreign country they choose to live in is most often one of their biggest sources of frustration. Alas.

And, as a side-note: high-context cultures are in no way superior to low-context cultures. Both modes of communication have their pros and cons, and molds society in various different ways.

But I digress! An example of the high-context culture at play is the break-up scene in front of Kim's apartment, which I've seen a number of fic authors portray as a genuine apology from Kim:

Which—in terms of what was spoken, Kim did say he was sorry.

But let’s think about the context of the apology: he said the words as he was walking away, before pulling his arm from Chay’s grasp. He looks back at Chay coldly, and overall, his behavior is dismissive; from his body language alone, he portrays a picture of aloofness and treats Chay as an annoyance.

What he says is an apology, yes—but it's an apology with no sincerity whatsoever. It's why Chay broke down as hard as he did, because it's not just Kim's lies that had him reeling, it was the fact that in the context of how Kim dismissed Chay during that scene, it also heavily implies that nothing between them had ever been sincere. Kim completely reverses the understanding that Chay had of their friend/relation-ship and cuts it off completely.

And although what I'm saying may come across as "Duh, that's freakin' obvious," I also want to add another point: Kim would know the implications of what this non-apology is. He would understand the context in which he'd said those words. Whether he chose to regret them or not later on is up for debate, but it's interesting to see whenever fic authors use this scene as an excuse that Kim genuinely thought he apologized, just because he said the words out loud.

Do you see what I mean? In that scene, the canon's context is what matters, but I've seen enough fic where that scene is turned on its head and fic!Kim thinks and excuses himself, portraying the scene to somehow mean that it's the words that matter. The nuance is thus lost, so in turn, the emotional weight of that scene is also disregarded.

This is what I mean when I say that there is an unconscious habit some fic authors have in changing the communication style that the show is set in.

Because the reality is, Kim didn't apologize. He knew he didn't, and Chay most certainly knew he didn't. What he was communicating in that scene was entirely different from what an actual apology entails.

Be that as it may, the audience knows that the non-apology doesn't negate what he and Chay went through together in the show. He may have been lying to Chay for the majority of the story in regards to his involvement in the mafia, but it doesn't mean that the love and adoration he feels for Chay through his actions didn't come through. Kim may not have said much to Chay besides singing for him a (stolen) refurbished version of his own song, but it doesn’t mean that his intent wasn’t conveyed. It's why Chay cried the way he did, in that in some way or another, the song Kim sang is a reminder of everything that happened between them did have truth to it.

Just because they communicate in the way one may not be used to or unfamiliar with (especially in the low-context culture that countries like the US, Canada, Australia, etc. operate in), doesn't mean that they're not communicating to one another.

Healthy communication doesn’t always have to just mean “straightforward meaning in the words.”

When tags like the ones I mentioned earlier in this rant inevitably crop up, especially when it comes to characters who are non-American/British, one can't help but feel that their canon mode of communication is being mocked and made to be seen as inferior.

In which case, TL;DR, when one writes tags like these about certain characters, I sincerely hope that their cultural biases are in the forefront of their mind, and they're aware and humble enough to admit that there are some things that they may not understand in terms of the cultural context. And due to the fact that they do not understand it, hopefully not mock it in response.

[kalpeavaris]

FAQ & Info Post

Some Information upfront

(just something quick to link in my pinned post)

Something I gotta mention upfront is that I’m a blind artist. Please do not send me asks/DMs in different fonts or e.g "l33k speech", I can't read these. I take some time to respond, dw, you're not being ignored! Sometimes I just get overwhelmed writing.

Also, my blog’s a safe space for queer and disabled folks as well as mental health topics. I don’t tolerate any ableism or queerphobia on this blog nor do I wish to discuss that. I don't take myself too serious on the internet & am mostly just here to share stuff that makes me giggle like a hyena on adderall. B)

I speak both English & German, so feel free to use these languages with me! My English is better though (despite being german lmao)

FAQ below the cut!

Do you take requests/commissions/art trades?

Yeah I do commissions! Just shoot me a message for availability and we can discuss prices and all c: Usually for Art Trades I'm not thaaat picky about "quality"/"artist level", I just go off of vibes.

If you're interested in like an Art Trade or Collab just shoot me a DM and I'll see how my schedule's going. Can't promise to accept everyone, though. Sorry!

I do draw random fanart for other people from time to time if I'm in da mood so I don't get burned out on my own stuff. BD

Can I DM you?

I mean I can't stop ya- if we’re mutuals go for it! I usually check all my messages, but it might take a second or two for me to respond. ;;

Can I send you asks?

Sure! I love recieving asks and answering them if I can from both non-mutuals and mutuals. c:

Can I draw your design/oc?

Omg ya! I love fanart! Doesnt matter if its for AU re-designs, own designs (like my personal Drone!Tessa or own characters). Do tag me in it if you wanna, idm tags!

Can I use your AU redesign for my AU/story/etc.?

Generally speaking I dont mind. Most of my redesigns are fairly minor in the way I change them up.

The only two designs I dont really feel comfortable with being included in other stories are my Drone!Tessa and Cyn Synemy redesign. Fanart absolutely, but I feel uncomfy with them being used in third party medias as seperate entities.

Is your blog 18+?

Uh tough one. I do not draw (and will never draw) nsfw content on this blog. a) Because I do know minors follow me and b) I'm just not… vibing with nsfw lol (esp not with MD).

But generally speaking I do sometimes mention slighty “suggestive” things, but the farthest I go are either punchlines for my shitposts or like… people kissing before marriage. And affectionative biting. lol.

I do post about mental health topics and stuff like trauma, I usually put TWs on these posts so you may block them if you want to (e.g “tw: death, tw: abuse” etc.)

Still, if youre below 18 and wanna soley follow that’s totally gucci, I just ask of you not to DM me if you’re below the age of 21 (asks are fine!)

Are there DNIs?

Im generally chill with most things. Only things that’ll land you on my blocklist immediately are suggestive/nsfw messages, asks or comments or if you send me like really vile shit.

Also please do not sent me asks/DMs with links to other websites, I generally do not trust those.

[gemsstudy]

So I am learning Korean as well, I am able to read and write...I understand the Hangul chart fully I mean and I have studied most of the grammar as well...and I am a bit confused on how I should move forward...Do you have any Ideas? Since you are a b1 in Korean...hehe

first i wanna say my b1 level is self-assessed. i mean, i feel pretty confident about this assesment, but i havent taken an official test or the topik yet.

i feel like moving between levels is the hardest part tbh...i felt like i hit a wall when transitioning to intermediate..but what i found helped me the most was really figuring out where i was lacking and working on that. just doing random lessons isn't helpful and i think you really need to structure your learning in a way that's super personal to you.

-for me, i know listening and speaking are my hardest areas..so i put a lot of focus on listening by listening to podcasts and watching youtube videos about things i like (makeup, skincare, kpop content with my fav groups) and use active listening..i usually watch these videos more than once too, one time without eng subs and then with to gage my initial understanding. i also take note of new vocab or grammar points. make sure with content like this though that it's just above your level. listening to things where you don't understand literally anything is not helpful. you need to be able to get the jist of what is going on even if you don't understand every single word/grammar.

-i also do tutoring once a week (sometimes twice if i have the time. i use the website preply) and we focus on my speaking and comphrension. she gives me sentence building and dictation hw too. i also ask her for regular assessments and what she thinks i can improve on. i just joined my korean language club at school so that's another way ive been exposing myself to korean and working on my speaking. i alsoooo speak out loud..anything i'd think or say to myself in english, i try to say in korean. not only does it help me get comfortable forming sentences, but it's a good way to pinpoint vocab/grammar i may not know.

-i try to make time each week to write in a diary (i used to post on here but not as often recently lol) and i also read in korean on different news sources. im slowly working my way thru 죽고 싶지만 떡볶이는 먹고 싶어 as well.

i guess tdlr; assess via a tutor, teacher, or just yourself and figure out what areas you're lacking in and build a plan around that. if you feel like you've progressed outside of just relying on textbooks, find other ways to supplement your learning like tutoring, language club, youtube/netflix, etc. exposure/immersion is key.

this was so long im so sorry but i hope this helped!!! you can message me too if you'd like!

[mediocre-eternity]

Sometimes I wonder if I “run cold.” In relation to body temperature, I don’t often feel warm. I naturally have a lower body temperature than humans, but I don’t mean I necessarily feel the opposite of cold. If I am a naturally cold blooded creature, then everything around me should be blazing hot. Though I wear long sleeves, coats, hoodies and robes. I feel as though I need to be warmed most of the time. In the summer, I wear scarves and it’s controversial amongst mortal friends. My whole body is covered most of the time. I crave a warmth from Daniel I can no longer find, but still pretend is there.

Once in a while I heat my body up in the shower, raising the water to temperatures that other of the Kindred find worrisome. And when I step out of the shower, my entire body tingles as the temperature of it rapidly decreases to it’s normal preternatural state. I wonder if this is what the mortal body feels like as it dies. It makes me wonder if my body could even be considered real at this point. Just like time, what is a body if I am no longer a part of it?

That reminds me that there are these ancient batteries that were found. These clay pots that ran an electric current somehow. Historians think that ancient humans would press their hands to them, and they interpreted the electric shock as proof of God.

Jesse told me that.

I haven’t written much, partially because I forgot about this website for a while. But also I was on another reading kick, inspired by a friend of mine. She is also my mortal age. Someone was also selfish with her body. And she is a friend that reminds me that it’s easier to be curious than destructive. We browsed the Barnes and Noble store for hours one night and I bought a book called “Tender is the Flesh.” It was very fun.

When you’re brought to The Blood at an age on the line of child and adult, the natural process is severed and you’re stuck forever as a ghost who misinterprets everything, because no level of adult wisdom or understanding was ever captured. “I don’t get things.” Benji often tells me. Sometimes I see myself so much in Benji. Everything about us is so similar. He knows about these demons I harbor. We often compare the cult to his foster homes. He wants desperately to go to Palestine. I want to take him so badly, as Marius took me to my homeland. A closed circle. And Benji is weeping to be with his people. He doesn’t remember them, as I had not remembered; taken and brought to a foreign place, not knowing the language, not knowing if he were commodified… only remembering the feeling in his body.

I’m sorry Benji, I shouldn’t tell these people so much about your suffering.

Some other experiences from this week:

A human girl in the bodega called me “King.” I laughed out loud. I’ve been called a prince many, many times, but never a king.

Daniel is increasingly going out completely alone, even to feed. Without me. I feel the skeletal grip of death around my heart again but I refuse to believe it’s an attempt to leave me.

An acquaintance told me I speak like I’m writing a screen play. I told him I’m not very good at speaking. He said, no no, you just have a large vocabulary and you want to use every single word…

…making friends with all sorts of different Kindred across New York City has been surreal. Probably the first time since my theatre and meeting Louis have I extended far beyond my current coven.

[businesstiramisu]

Hi! How are you? Your ask box is open again! Would you like to see cats? What is the difference between Ayin and Tsaddik? How did you make the Dreamwidth captcha thing? It looks very professional! I got the book "Witch King" by Martha Wells! Unfortunately, it seems that the Murderbot Diaries are colluding against me to prevent me from reading it. Also your tagging system is very great! I love it!

Hello! I don't remember why I closed it, but usually if it's been a while and it's not open it's b/c I forgot indeed *that* I closed it, and you can ask me to open it again (that's what happened here lol).

Ayin vs. Tsaddik (Romanization/spelling varies) -- re: this post

As you can see, they are slightly similar looking letters. I expect no one actually literate in Hebrew would make this mistake (any more than you would mix-up lower-case 'a' and lower-case 'c') but lots of us are not literate in Hebrew. Hence the humor of the mis-spelled mug. My tags were b/c I tend to make a game out of trying to read all foreign-language text I come across, if I've got the time. I'm actually pretty good at sounding out Russian, now, and sometimes also Japanese (I blame all the weebs on here). But I'm absolutely terrible with Hebrew, and part of me feels I ought to be better b/c I have relatives who speak it. (I don't talk to those relatives nearly as much as I read weeb things online, though, so it only make sense). I don't remember for sure but I think with that post I also mixed up Bet with something stupid like Nun or even Resh.

2. Dreamwidth captcha -- re: this post -- INSPECT ELEMENT BAYBEEEE Seriously, it looks professional because it literally just the dreamwidth website with one word added by me. Two clicks and a bit of time poking around CSS you, too, can use this knowledge for evil

3. The Witch King by Martha Wells-- Oh, nice!! I actually read quite a bit of Wells' fantasy catalogue this month, and i've been meaning to write up a post reviewing and comparing them. Wells definitely has some favorite motifs that she keeps returning to (e.g. prominent ruins of past societies) and it would be fun to compare them. I really enjoyed The Witch King, but I will say as one fan of Unsounded to another, I actually really recommend The Fall of Ile-Rien trilogy! I think it has some overlapping setitng and characterization stuff that I think might especially appeal to an Unsounded fan. (TREMAINE. LOVE TREMAINE)

Though you should really keep trying to get Murderbot b/c those are by far her best work IMO (not to say any of her fantasy is bad, just Murderbot is 11/10 for me on so many axes). (How is reality colluding against you, if you don't mind sharing? sounds like a story lol)

4. Tagging -- thank you!! i do it for myself b/c I like to find my old things but glad it's working for you too <3

[inherpower]

Searching

I have a tendency to be impulsive. There’s a part of me that doesn’t want to admit that but it’s true. Often my impulsivity is born out of a prolonged suppression. Self imposed. I keep myself from doing what is right for me or stop myself from speaking up for so long that I end up exploding. Yeah, not always the best move. But as I was looking at my website and noticing that I had deleted many of my previous posts, which were all spiritually based, I wondered what was at the core of that impulsive action.

I have spent the better part of my life doing what I thought was the “right” thing to do. Combine that with a side of people pleasing and my life felt less like me own and more like what I thought people wanted from me. I never took the time to investigate for myself what I wanted and then actually do or be that. I remember the day that I deleted my earlier posts. At the time I felt as though I was embarking on a new aspect of my spiritual journey. I was embracing Christianity and doing it with such fervor that it shocked ME. It felt as though this was necessary. I couldn’t make heads or tails of it but I knew that I needed to follow this thread.

I went to church weekly, I read the Bible daily, prayed multiple times a day and even got rid of some of my spiritual trinkets. I had even gone to catholic mass twice bought two rosaries, learned the Hail Mary prayer till I could do it almost by heart and considered becoming a full fledged catholic. You’re girl was GONE!

In all the years of my life I have learned that following the guidance of God/Spirit is essential. That’s not to say that I always do. There have been plenty of times, more than I can count, where I not only didn’t follow God’s advice, I ignored it all together. However, since 2020 my relationship with the Divine was becoming more palpable. I wasn’t just talking at God, I began to listen.

That listening meant a complete upheaval to my life in so many different ways. Each moment I felt ripped out of my comfort zone and continually placed in the unknown. I remember saying sometime around 2020 that

"I'm learning to be comfortable in uncomfortability."

Listen, if you don’t want God to take you up on what you say, learn to guard your words. I can’t say that I was uncomfortable in church but it certainly was an unknown. Though the familiarity was thick and wrapped itself around me like a glove around me I couldn’t understand the reason for this detour.

No matter what the reason I was dutiful and did what God told me to do. Now that I’m coming down from my Jesus high I believe that I have a clear understanding of what God was doing. First, and this is more my personal revelation, I had to mend some generational wounds. I’ll get to that in another post. Second, as a spiritual wellness coach who uplifts and caters to the black community, I have to be able to understand the full scope of what lives within many of the people that I work with. Many of my clients are black women around the ages of 30 to 50 and are seeking something else, something that they can resonate with in a more tangible way. Some still go to church but feel that they need a spiritual supplement, others left the church all together and want to expand their spiritual horizons.

In either case, being in church and being in mass (though not for as long as my clients) enables me to meet them where they’re at and use language that they understand and feel most comfortable with. I won’t get into a whole discussion about the declining attendance of black folks in church. There are plenty of blogs and videos from people who have way more knowledge about that topic. What I can say is that we as a people, black people, are waking up to something much larger than church. And as folks are waking up they’re searching for truth. They’re searching for themselves.

Being able to help people who stand at a spiritual crossroads is an assignment that I gladly take on. This work, this life is not easy and we need all the tools and community support that we can get.

[apinchoflittleboo]

New Year's bestest ideas

I had the bestest idea for this first day of the New Year 2025. Starting strong with a blog. Not too depressing, but real and authentic too. Then WordPress happened. Years ago WordPress was soooooo easy to use, but a few years ago they changed and changed and changed everything about how you could manipulate every little aspect of your website and now it feels like I need to speak a whole new language to understand WordPress enough to even add a NAVIGATION MENU! So. I dropped that idea after researching 'wordpress is fucked' and 'how to use wordpress' and 'wordpress changed EVERYTHING' and not finding any answers. I've looked around some to see if it'd would be better to share my messages on a different website, but stuff like Substack is a little too in your face for the content I'm probably sharing, though a private diary-like website also isn't what I'm looking for. Blugh, this feels like a very lifelike example of what my life usually feels like; nothing fits like it should. I started typing this message in WordPress, deciding I wouldn't use a menu then, when I remembered I created a Tumblr account some odd months ago. Somehow this medium seems to fit in my mind, so yeey!

On to more depressing matters! Last night's counting down was done without me participating. I was brushing my teeth, getting ready for bed and I was thoroughly feeling the loneliness of it all. I even shed something that resembled a tear. Yes, it is my own decision to stay home with my cat so she isn't scared to death when the fireworks light up the night like a very big Christmas tree, but I still felt it. The weight. The emptiness. I also felt how, as a reaction, I didn't want anything to do with the switch to 2025 or a living soul at all, aside from said cat. I ignored the messages people send me and though I did send out messages to them later, I still felt this heavy weighing empty feeling in my body while typing. Do I want to feel like that? Noop. Do I want to feel differently? Do I want to use energy in changing my behavior so I'll feel different? Also noop.

Not right now. Sometimes I'm wondering if this is depression. From what I heard around me, depression is when you can't get out of bed and can't feel like doing anything, don't enjoy anything etc. But where's the nuance? What if you're so used to pushing yourself to at least do the bare minimum (get out of bed, have at least something resembling of hygiene, cooking that's at least a bit healthy, house chores because you need clothes and clean dishes, etc.) and give your all whenever you're 1. with friends and family; 2. showing up for exercizing (sometimes); 3. therapy, that it looks like your functioning. But when you're alone, or when life's too busy (like around the holidays), it's all just too much. You're hanging on, always tired, always walking on the last of your toes, and yes you laugh (because I have humor) and yes you do stuff (because I don't want to feel bored ALL the time) and yes you try and try and try ...

Does that mean then that you're not depressed? Does it even matter if I am or am not? Sometimes it feels like no matter what I try to do, it never matters. This is it. It has already been like this for a very long time and admittedly, there's been better times, but were they truly better? Or was my focus occupied with (new) people and ... stuff?

OMG, this is so depressing. But I promised to give myself a platform for the real things I'm feeling and the accompanied thoughts. Feeling like this, feeling so sad and like life's just useless, is something I've carried with me for a very long time but I'm also very used to not wanting to feel like that, overwriting it with positivity, focussing on nice, good, and grateful. Not wanting to bore and bother, and somehow, I still am. I need a platform where I can be my sad, lonely self, unapologetically - not for a response, but for me.

I do have one good idea though! Stolen from @jigme_pheuntshok from Instagram (who probably stole it too), but they shared the following: "This January start the year with an empty jar. Every week you add a note with a good thing that happened. On New Year's Eve empty the jar and read about the amazing year you had." I'm notoriously bad with stuff like this; forgetting to add to it after even one week, or feeling so shitty that I'm like a petulant child refusing to add to the jar, maybe even feeling like fuck off, you don't tell me what I need to do! (I never said I was easy.) But I want to try. Even though I'm feeling like the bad weather outside (stormy and rainy), I know life also has beautiful moments to remember. I’ve dubbed it “The Happy Jar”.

I'll quit writing on that positive note. Thanks for reading if you do X

[ysabroadsk]

I'm currently studying at my local university, and I find myself have this childish desire to explore more, and I have decided I would like to pursue my college at Korea, specifically at the Yonsei University, but I have a lot of questions spiraling in my mind. First, how on earth a person like me even afford studying internationally? Second, how, a person like me, who have zero knowledge with Korean language and not even fluent in English supposed to survive there? Thirdly, I'm not from an affluent family, my family's income is sometimes even short for our basic necessities, and this I don't really feel confident with my background, how can I do it there? Lastly, do I have to feel ashamed of all these challenges I am facing? With the desire to understand things, am I doing the wrong thing? Idk what is happening with my questions seriously

I'm so sorry for the late reply! I didn't think people would actually see this blog haha

I think the first thing to look into would be any scholarships or potential financial aid you could get, either from your country or Yonsei. I'm not super familiar with Yonsei financial things, since I currently pay (reduced) tuition to my home university for my year abroad here, but it's worth checking out their website. I know some people got support from the government/our home university to pay for some things like the flight over and tuition. I also know of some classmates who went to different universities in Korea on exchange that gave them free accommodation so that's definitely worth looking into!

As for not knowing Korea, I wouldn't worry too much about it! There's lots of places with English-speaking workers (or bare minimum enough English to make it through interactions) and I have lots of friends here who don't know any Korean who have been having a pretty fun time still. In fact, most of the time they'll default to speaking English if they can tell you're a foreigner. Most people also take language classes with the university and you would be surprised how much you can learn, even in a single semester! So I don't think there would be too many problems regarding that.

No one will judge you here for your financial background, I think. Everyone comes from so many different places with so many different backgrounds and are just excited to experience life. Honestly, I've found convenience store food a lot cheaper than I expected (but maybe that's just because food prices are kind of insane in the UK these days). I'm not entirely sure what your question is asking but I hope this helps, even a little.

You shouldn't feel ashamed at all! None of this is your fault and doesn't affect how incredible you are as a person and how smart you are/how hard you work. You deserve to experience good things and enjoy your university experience regardless of your background. It's natural to want to explore and chase after the things you enjoy! Don't feel bad for it at all.

I hope this helped! Please feel free to send as many other questions as you want if I completely skipped over things or didn't make sense. I'll try my best to answer everything as best I can :))

[truthem]

How I immerse myself in Korean and Spanish

한국어 (Korean)

I think I’m doing so good in Korean because I’m constantly watching things in Korean and exposing myself to the language.

1. K-pop

I’m such a big K-pop fan and it really helps my learning process. If I didn’t enjoy K-pop I don’t think Id be able to comprehend half of what I can today.

I watch a lot of “vlogs” from my favorite idols. (My fav to watch are LE SSERAFIM’s vlogs, they’re just really easy for me to understand and entertaining at the same time).

ATEEZ is always doing something and they’re my ult group so I’m just constantly watching them. Recently though I haven’t been watching their stuff so I have a lot to catch up on 😅

The music makes no sense to me because obviously song lyrics aren’t written in conversational everyday Korean so I don’t even really count that as listening comprehension. Every now and then I’ll catch a word I know and get shocked though 🙏

I used to watch V-lives or whatever they’re called now a lot but I can’t focus for that long anymore. (박성화 has the best lego lives)

2. K-Dramas

I don’t watch as many dramas as some people but I feel like they’ve definitely helped me get used to listening to Korean.

I try not to take any phrases or vocab from dramas because it’s a drama… and they’re dramatic 😭

I started watching Business Proposal like a month ago but I got distracted with exams and I stopped watching it with 2 episodes left… (SPOILERS: istg if 하리 and 태무 don’t stay together I’m giving up on everything)

3. Korean Cartoons

I LOVE Learn Korean with Jadoo. I barely understand any of it but it’s helped me a lot with understanding how certain grammar points are used and how certain words are used.

I also like watching Peppa Pig in Korean because the episodes are short and sweet and they’re relatively easy to understand.

I used to watch We Bare Bears in Korean but I watched like every episode they had on YouTube so now I’m rewatching in Spanish. (I genuinely love We Bare Bears, it’s always been the best cartoon out there)

4. Korean News

I like to read a lot of Korean news to help with pronunciation and reading comprehension. It also allows me to find some more specific vocabulary that I would use in describing what I do, what I like, and what I want to do in my future because I can find real stories that are specific to my interests.

5. ASMR

Soy ASMR and Seonghwas ASMR videos have been single-handedly holding my life up. Judy ASMR is also a really good creator. I like to watch like roleplay ASMR like “friend does your makeup for a party” or whatever because it exposes me to more casual vocabulary.

Español (Spanish)

1. Classes

I do take Spanish classes at school so I get over and hour of Spanish immersion in while at school everyday. We mainly use Spanish in the classroom.

2. Spanish Documentaries

I’m a bit more advanced in Spanish than I am in Korean so I prefer to watch Documentaries as to cartoons.

Documentaries also interest me more than cartoons in some aspects like learning more about different latin cultures, hearing different accents and dialects, and learning about how other people live.

3. Cartoons

I only really watch We Bare Bears in Spanish because I just like the show, but sometimes Spanish feels like a chore to me or like I’m just learning it to pass a class at this point, so cartoons are a good way to just casually comprehend the language.

4. Spanish News

I found this really good Spanish news for kids website and it’s so incredibly helpful. I’m in the process of making a “Spanish Resources” blog post like I did with Korean so I’ll definitely link that there.

I read the articles out loud to help get more comfortable with speaking, reading and my pronunciation.

They also have a podcast that’s just like a read aloud of the article so after I read the article, I go and listen to the podcast.

The topics are really interesting, too. Like one of them was about this lady bringing her pet pig to the airport to help calm people down??? I wanna go pet a pig wdym????

6. Spanish music

There are no words in the English language to express how much I love Spanish music.

It’s literally just so beautiful.

In class we have broken down various songs, so I can understand music very easily unlike in Korean even if I have to think about the lyrics for a bit.

7. Spanish YouTube videos/ASMR

I watch a lot of “un día en mi vida” type videos and I love ASMR so I watch a lot of those. 🙏

[minimalist-language-learning]

My language learning journey

Hi! I'm Anja, a language learner and manga artist from Germany. This is my first post here, so I think I should start with some information about myself:

I speak: German (native), English

I'm currently learning: Japanese

Paused languages: French, Russian

Other hobbies and interests:

creating manga (you can find my artist accounts here)

reading manga (mainly shonen)

nature

video games (e.g. Assassin‘s Creed Origins / Valhalla, Ghost of Tsushima, Cyberpunk 2077, Control)

reading different kinds of books

history & archaeology (especially ancient egypt)

For those who are interested, here is a summary of my ups and downs as a language learner:

How I improved my English unintentionally

English is not my native language (I'm sure I make mistakes ^^;). I learned the basics at school which means: vocab lists, grammar rules and exercises, listen to English spoken by non-native speakers (teacher and classmates) and only sometimes by native speakers (audio CD). I had no access to novels, websites or other interesting things in English. And I was fine with that. At that time, English was only a subject in school.

After graduating, I became interested in Japanese. I found some german online forums where other learners of Japanese shared their experiences. Unfortunately, most of the users were very narrow-minded. They persisted, that their way of learning is the only "right" way. I never liked black-or-white-thinking and so I left these forums.

I've found a more open-minded forum and some blogs. These were in English, but I came across many different ideas and methods. It was a bit difficult at first because I never read "real" English before. But I concentrated so much on the content, that everything else became secondary. 

At this time, the new episodes of my favorite TV show weren't available in German. So I watched them in English even though I had nearly no experience with listening to native speakers. There were things I couldn't understand, but I didn't care. I was able to watch this show quite comfortably which was all I wanted — reaching a high level in English was not my goal, after all.

Watching my favourite show, reading articles about interesting topics or reading novels in English were never learning activities to me. The purpose was to learn something other than English or to simply enjoy the content. The language was only a tool, not a study object. 

While doing this, I never thought "So many unknown words… I should use Anki to learn them". After learning the basics at school, I just started reading and listening and ignored most of the unknown and unimportant parts. Only when I felt that I really need to know a certain word I looked it up. These texts or videos weren’t study objects. After reading/watching them I moved on. Without realizing it, English became part of my life. 

Today, reading and listening to content in English feels natural to me. There are words I don’t know and I make mistakes, of course, but I'm fine with that.

The learning mindset is actually a learning barrier

In the case of Japanese, I always tried to understand as much as possible, looked up many words, put sentences into Anki and things like that, because many methods recommended that. I thought that otherwise my Japanese won't improve.

Ironically, even after so much hard work and after trying out so many methods and techniques my Japanese was by no means as good as my English.

I was stuck in a "learning mindset" which made it difficult to just enjoy the content as I did with English. I wasn't able to focus on the content. All I saw were unknown words and phrases. It was like a curse.

Don't get me wrong: Good advice is useful, of course! When I come across an interesting approach or tip I try it out to see if it works for me. But my mistake was to believe that I only had to follow someone else's way of learning from A to Z and I would get the same results in the end. It never worked this way.

That's why I encourage everyone not to follow blindly other methods and their creators. There is no right or wrong. Combine whatever works best for you and trust your own intuition. The most important thing is that you enjoy what you are doing.

Combining minimalism with language learning

After worrying so much about language learning, methods and my Japanese, I discovered minimalism and was completely fascinated. 

Generally, minimalists don't keep things that make them feel unhappy, that are no longer useful or causing distraction. It depends on the person, how their minimalist lifestyle looks like. And this is also true for language learning.

This mindset was a great inspiration for my current way of language learning. I only use Anki to review kanji, for example, because this works best for me. But whenever I use it for vocabulary/sentences, it feels so meaningless to me compared to reading a good book. I can't use Anki for vocabulary longer than a few weeks, but I feel always relaxed when I read a book in Japanese.

That's why I decided to just look up certain words, write them down and move on. Maybe other methods are more efficient, but I prefer learning words in their natural context. This is what I enjoy the most.

How my Japanese improved (finally)

For a long time, I felt like I hit a wall. My Japanese didn’t seem to improve. Then I focused on extensive reading and read several books in Japanese that were not too difficult at my current level (e.g. volume 1 - 4 of 『ハリー・ポッター』 and 『天気の子』 and other manga and light novels).

This helped me a lot to improve not only my reading speed but also my vocabulary. I had so much fun reading these books that I read between 20 and 40 pages a day (sometimes even a bit more on the weekend).  My listening comprehension stagnated for a long time but thanks to reading it now improves slowly but steady.

The more I understand the more I enjoy listening. Lots of reading helped me to increase my vocabulary and to get to the point at where I can process spoken Japanese much faster than before. 

It feels strange sometimes. For a long time, it was normal to me that I understand not more than single words or very common phrases. Listening felt like a waste of time. Now I can roughly follow the story of some audio books, for example. Even small improvements like this give me a big motivation boost!

Switching to extensive reading had also a positive effect on my self-confidence as a language learner. I’m more aware about what kind of content I need at my current level and choose my reading and listening material accordingly. I will read more and more difficult books to increase my vocabulary and to get used to more complex writing styles. It should be a bit challenging but not overwhelming.

Up to this point, I've read 78 books in Japanese so far. 27 of these were novels, light novels or non-fiction books; the rest were manga. According to 読書メーター, I've read around 18.242 pages in total. 

Now

It took me a long time but today I don't care so much about efficiency and speed anymore. I just want to enjoy what I'm doing. I have still a long way to go, of course. But even though I don't understand everything I enjoy reading in Japanese so much! And I hope to further improve my listening comprehension so that I can comfortably understand audio books and podcasts.

My main activity is still reading books and other content but I also do light grammar study now. In my experience, you don't need to memorize grammar rules but a good foundation is important to understand more complex content and to build correct sentences yourself. That's why I think that grammar is not your enemy but a useful tool.

Lots of text, sorry. ^^; I hope it was interesting to some of you.

Please note that I write about what works for me and share advice based on my own experiences. If you have a different opinion or if you use other methods, that's absolutely fine. Do whatever works for you.

From time to time, I'll write posts about my recent language learning activities and thoughts.

[dakotafinely]

Hi! Offering support after I heard what happened <:3

May I suggest a Rise!Leo x Hispanic!Reader oneshot? Sorry if that's not your thing, just...ever since I saw a headcanon post on it I couldn't get over it! X3

Feel free to ignore! Sorry for the bother...

Is this finally addressed after months of it being in my inbox? Yes, but that's because I'm a procrastinator to the worst degree. And this was sent in right before I closed my inbox (due to stuff that was going on) and I wanted to answer when I finally felt comfortable opening my inbox up again.

And pssssh, I have not done a x Reader in a while! And I certainly don't mind doing one again! I honestly enjoy x Readers, not because I really ship myself with characters- rarely ever if I do -but because I'm a sap who enjoys love! Love is cute, platonic, romantic, family, pets, oiuhghjkjnhj but anyways. I'll stop my rambling and finally get into this. Thank you flounderdoodles! Sorry it took so long to address your ask! It was never a bother and I am grateful you sent it!

== == ==

Leo knew Spanish. Leo LOVED Spanish, he adored the language like he was the one that made it. Though, growing up he was the only who really learned it. Sure, Mikey picked up words and phrases from Leo because of how much Leo used them. And Raph will indulge Leo's practicing of the language the best he can. While Donnie tried to find the best books and websites to learn Spanish growing up for the Red Earred Slider. But they never took time to learn it like Leo did. It was always his own little thing.

He got so used to it being his language and his alone with his family. He never even considered that you, being Hispanic with native speaking parents, would know it. Because despite how clever and witty Leo could be, sometimes he forgot to put two and two together to make four.

And that's what lead to now. To you trying to figure out how to tell Leo you knew what he's been saying to you for the past week. Without freaking him out.

It started with a nickname. Not the most obvious one like mi amor, or even mi querido. No, it started with mi dulce.

At first you thought you were hearing things. That maybe you misheard Leo when he spoke.

"Can you repeat that?" You asked, helping Mikey put away the dishes. Leo looked surprised you even heard him, trying to speak the words under his breath.

"Ah, psh, nothing!" Leo brushed it off, leaving the kitchen after grabbing a water.

So you shook it off. Until you heard it again, clearly, with Leo being a bit bolder about it. After all, he had nicknames in many different forms for his brothers and April. And he liked you, so why shouldn't he give you nickname? You just didn't expect it to be so... sweet. To be called his sweet exactly.

Then came mi girasol, when you came in one day wearing a yellow sweater. And he told you that you looked like his sunflower. You had to excuse yourself to the restroom to get yourself together.

At first you were conflicted about telling him or not. Not because you were opposed to the nicknames, and what they meant in terms of his feelings towards you. In fact it was quite the opposite, you has quite the crush on the turtle. So when this started happening you were ecstatic. But you didn't want him to panic about it. Plus, what if all this time you were wrong about his feelings about you? That these were just supposed to be friendly nicknames, not loving like you had hoped.

Still, you wanted to know. You wanted the truth, to ease your mind. You just hoped that he meant them the way you took them.

You walked into the lair hands shaking. You were so nervous, your mind telling you all the ways this could go wrong as you made your way to the kitchen. Instantly hit with the smell of sweets, it was Mikey. Dancing around to create something wonderful, like he was most days that you visit.

"Hey Mike," you greet, Mikey turning to you with a smile as he puts down the measuring cup he was about to use.

"What's up?" He asks rubbing his hands together to brush off the flour on them. Mikey can't keep still however as he goes to grab a pot, redirecting his train of thought due to your interruption.

"Ah well," you took hesitance, wanting for moment to chicken out and instead ask Mikey what he was making. But you shake your head, no, you hadn't spent so long hyping yourself up for this just to waste it last minute. You clear your throat "where's Leo? I need to talk to him for a sec." to which Mikey looks at you, slightly concerned.

"Oh, I really wouldn't recommend it right now," Mikey says putting the small pot on the stove "he's kinda sulking." he comments facing the stove. Picking the measuring cup up once again to dip it in the bag of sugar he had open.

"Why's he sulking?" You asked concerned. Mikey shrugged "Something April told him, he wouldn't tell the rest of us..." Mikey trailed "maybe you should talk to him actually, you always seem to cheer him up!" Mikey says shooting you another smile over his shoulder. With a knowing wink before focusing on the task at hand. You blush a bit. Of course Mikey knew you had a crush on Leo, he probably knew if Leo had a crush on you too. You and him bonded over being the youngest siblings of your respective households. And that meant bonding over almost always knowing the drama going on in the house like a fly on the wall.

You make your way to Leo's room. Lightly knocking on the curtain that separated his room from the hallway. You hear him groan.

"Raph I said I don't wanna talk about it! Go away!" You hear him shout before shuffling. You clear your throat again, a tight knot finding it's way into your throat.

"It's me actually," you call out. Hearing the comedic noise of Leo falling of his bed and scrambling to the door. A small chuckle escapes you as Leo throws open the curtain. Your worries melting away as you lock eyes with him, the way they always do when you see him.

"Hey," Leo breaths out. Causing you to chuckle.

"I don't leave you that breathless do I?" You joke to ease your nerves. But Leo tenses, usually the banter would be natural for you two. Something the red earred slider adored about you was your wit.

But after what April told him...

She mentioned in passing to him earlier that day that you'd been helping her in Spanish. You taking the class for an easy A. That you had native Spanish speaking parents so you had no issues helping her with her homework. April didn't know about the sappy nicknames. Leo thought no one knew. That it was his little secret he'd rather take to his grave then confess to you to only get rejected.

But instead you knew the whole time. And with that knowledge it only confirmed his fears when you never told him that you knew what he was even saying the whole time. Clearly you must've been playing oblivious because you didn't want to have to reject him right?

Leo wanted you in his life. In any way he could. You were to wonderful to loose. And if that meant giving a proper confession so you could reject him and then continue being friends without making you feel awkward with all his sappy nicknames. Then Leo was willing to make that sacrifice.

"Más de lo que sabes," Leo whispered. Catching you off guard with the softness of his voice. A blush covering your face faster then you could blink. While Leo stood there and looked at you, the love for you welling in his eyes so much you could actually see it this time.

"What?" You can't help but let it out as a breathless laugh. You had it all planned out how you were going to confess, both you knowing Spanish, and your very large crush on Leo. But you're brain completely blanked at his words.

"Me quitas el aliento, más de lo que podrías saber," Leo stated, the nervousness of his confession clear in his stance. Hands clasped together, stiff as a board, the complete opposite of his usual lackadaisical manner. Your breath hitches at his words. Staring at him with wide eyes. Leo lets out a sigh "Eres tan encantadora, tan amable, tan comprensiva e ingeniosa. ¿Cómo no me quitaste el aliento, mi amor?" he asks, making your knees weak.

Your mind blanks completely. Unable to form the words you needed to respond. Reeling, you tried to get yourself together

"April told me you know Spanish..." Leo told you "I know you don't feel the same but, hey! Figured I might as well let it all out in the open!" Leo tried to be light hearted about it. Sending you finger guns. But the stress of waiting your response sat clear on his face. Nonexistent eyebrows pressed together and smile shaky.

"I- just, um, I-" You stumbled over your brain trying to figure out what to say.

"It's fine, really! I already get that you don't like me that way, so, ya know," Leo continued movements awkward and stiff. Despite believing the rejection to come, he didn't want to hear the words. As if that would lessen the blow for him somehow.

"No! No that's not it," You say, your brain finally catching up to you. Leo looking at you with a confused smile. Still shaking with the fear inside him, you gave a calming sigh "I... También me gustas, Leo. Tengo por un tiempo," you confess to him, with a small shrug. Leo gives you a blank stare, brain taking a minute to load what you just said.

"You... you like me too?" He asks in disbelief, the joy coming onto him suddenly. Lighting up like a christmas tree, you can't help but giggle and nod as he picks you up joyfully. Him laughing joyously as he twirls you.

"Leo! Leo put me down you're gonna make me sick!"

"Never! ¡Me amas! ¡Me amas!" Leo cried jumping up and down before listening to you. Setting you down gently. You can't help another giggle and pull him in. Gently kissing him on the cheek. Leo holds his cheek, sighing sappily.

"What's going on here? Why is Leo screaming in another language?" Raph asks, walking in with confusion and concern on his face. You can't help a small blush of embarrassment. You didn't mean to cause a ruckus.

"[Y/n] me ama..." Leo sighs dreamily.

== == ==

I don't speak Spanish, so all of the Spanish parts are done via google translate. If they seem wonky or weird, it's probably because of that. Again thanks for the ask! I hope this was to your satisfaction, I'm kinda rusty on writing X Readers but I enjoyed getting back into it for this ask.

[servalphias]

A Brief Introduction

In the first post on this blog I introduced myself as a Twitter refugee… and nothing else. In truth, I am still active on Twitter, and while I don’t think that site will be going down in the next few days I do feel that the writing's on the wall. Even if Twitter as a service ultimately survives Elon’s madness it will be a very different place, with many worthy folk having scattered to the winds, signing up for this or that replacement.

I have chosen Tumblr.

Now that I am here and happily reblogging (with occasional original posts like this one sprinkled in), I suppose I should explain what I’m about and what to expect on my little corner of the Internet.

I have a variety of interests, but in this space I will mainly be posting and reblogging about three of them: language learning, outer space/space news, and (eventually) learning to draw. Of these three, it’s the language learning that will be of primary focus for me on this website for at least the short term, and I want to take a moment and share some of my ambition on this front.

- Language Learning -

I have recently begun the long, laborious, difficult, and satisfying journey of language learning. I have a list of languages I wish to learn. The two at the top of the list are Chinese (Mandarin) and Hindi.

I started learning Mandarin Chinese toward the end of August (你好。你怎么样？), and while progress has ultimately been slow I am at least making it. I’ve found myself somewhat surprised very early on in that it isn’t meaning or writing the characters I’ve struggled the most with, but tones and making sure I use the right tone when speaking. Right now I’m primarily going through Duolingo lessons and copying their sentences and translations for use in SRS repetition. Sometime down the line I’ll be going through Grammar lessons and trying to find ways to interact with native speakers for feedback - maybe starting with a tutor before anything?

I have not yet started learning Hindi, but I plan to soon. I will start along a similar path as with my Mandarin: Duolingo, then focusing on learning Grammar and eventual practice with other speakers - native, ideally.

Aside from reblogs, right now I think most of my posts on here will be questions. Maybe I’ll have comments on aspects of the language (does Mandarin really not have a general word for “brother” or “sister?”) or other things along those lines.

So, I would like to end this short introduction with some questions. Right now I plan to use two websites to get feedback from native speakers: LangCorrect and italki. The first is a place to post journal-style updates in your target language, then native speakers will offer corrections and advice, with the idea being that you offer corrections and advice to people learning your native tongue. The second is for direct interaction, and while I’m mainly looking at italki for tutors, I’m just happy to get good advice and corrections from any fluent speaker.

So, the questions! Are there other resources I could also be using? Are there alternatives to LangCorrect and italki that are as good or even better? Is the Duolingo bird going to kill me in my sleep? Thank you in advance for any advice you can give me.

[mcnuggyy]

As a white person and budding artist (that sure is. An intro) I'm always super careful to try and avoid harmful cultural and visual stereotypes in my art and practice sketches. I was wondering if you have/have posted any tips for drawing mexican people? I always do research before drawing anyone from a different culture or of a different race but it can be tricky to find things written by theae minorities themselves and I am always hesitant to take tips from another white artist on drawing other races 😅 (I also apologise if I worded anything badly here, I'm autistic and struggle to word things sometimes! Please feel free to correct me if I did!)

Heyo! I think the biggest reason there isn’t or even I haven’t ever made a how to draw Mexicans is ‘cause Mexico is very very diverse, and the majority of us are Mestizo ( “mixed race, especially one having Spanish and indigenous descent.”) There are definitely racist stereotypes to avoid such as orange skin, thick black mustache, lazy, alcoholic, poncho wearing, Mexican. Obviously. But this is just one small part of the coin, when there is a lot of anti-blackness, and anti-indigenous sentiments in our own communities, EVEN THOUGH, the majority of us ARE mixed race. This has to do with colonization, and the way the Spaniards just really fucked us over, brain washed us, and made being a White Mexican the IDEAL Mexican. So there’s a LOT to unpack there. 

Especially with Mestizos being prejudice towards their Indigenous communities WHILE STILL practicing the very same important practices that came from those communities (Dia De Muertos for example) Basically there’s an issue of still wanting to be Mexican, and have pride in your country, and culture, but not wanting be like those "dirty brown” Mexicans. To the point where the government is constantly trying to push the “we are all one Mexican race and nation” while actively trying to get people to essentially erase our Indigenous communities. Like there’s this big idea of “marrying White” that even my mom used to believe in for a while, because her own mother taught her that as well in order to assimilate and what not.  Again, lots of colorism and bigotry within our own communities. It’s a very big and complex issue, that we can thank the Spaniards for ( and the Mexican government who continues to uphold these toxic ideas), YAYY colonization!!! Weeee!!!!

( I mean I can even see it in my own family, with my dad’s side of the family clearly not being able to pass as White being severely impoverished, while my mom’s side of the family, who overall is much more White passing, have been able to hold positions of power in large companies and can even afford to buy more than one house)

Sorry to get into that very long rant, but I do think it’s very important to know this information to get started with actually figuring out how to accurately portray a Mexican, Tejano, Mex-Am, Afro-Mexican etc. Because well, anyone can be Mexican, just like anyone can be American! But I’ll get into the main communities that exist in Mexico to help you out!

So again, Mestizos (mixed-race) are the biggest group in Mexico, making up over 93% of the population! So that’s a good chunk of us jaja! So it’s good to talk about how different you can look in a mixed-race family! And what better example than my own family!

Both my parents look very “stereotypically” Mexican by American standards, especially my dad who is the absolute definition of a macho ranchero Mexicano jaja. Both my parents come from small farming communities in Mexico, but look very different themselves! Each pueblo kinda has their own differences too! The people from my mom’s pueblo all tend to have much lighter skin, with cool undertones, some even have blue or green eyes, and red hair! While the people from my dad’s pueblo (98 people in total there, very very small jajaja) Tend to have deep red undertones, thick dark hair, curly hair, hooked noses, and very very rarely hazel eyes! So it’s no wonder me and my siblings look so different as well! (none of us are adopted I assure you) 

So I’m very lucky cause I have a HUGE family to use as reference, and reference is key!!! but there are many cool Mexican celebrities and public figures you can use as reference if you don’t happen to know anyone (tho It’s always good to have friends with different experiences from your own as always)

But here’s some examples of how different mestizos can look, including some of my own specific references!

There is also our Indigenous communities “ Mexico's indigenous population is one of the two largest in the Americas (only Peru is comparable in size). More than one in ten Mexicans speaks an indigenous language”

I really recommend checking out this website to learn more, as this is something I’m still learning more about myself! 

Then of course we have our Afro-Mexican community! Mexico is cruel to it’s Indigenous communities, but even more so to Afromexicanos, who until recently were completely ignored by Mexico’s census. You can read more about this issue here.  Spaniards of course play a big part in the issues that face Afromexicanos today.  You can learn even more about this history here!

Did you know Lupita Nyong’o is Mexican! (A fellow Lupita <3 )

And of course, can’t forget White Mexicans! Don’t think the Spaniards just left after a while, because they stayed jajaja. (Look no further than Novellas and most big celebrates for some examples fhhffhf) 

So there really is no absolute way to represent us! (which was an issue I had with Coco actually.. with everyone having the exact same orange/brown skin) There is certainly a picture that comes to American’s heads when they think “Mexican” but in reality, things are much more diverse, beautiful, and complicating than that! 

However I do have some small little things I personally like to do to help indicate when I’m making a Mexican / Mex-Am character design based off of all of the information above along with my family and friends as reference! 

Moles! I don’t know why, but every Latino I know has so many moles.... from my childhood friends to my ex boyfriend, to every single cousin have... MOLES MOLES MOLES! Why? I haven’t a clue, but I always add them to my character designs jajaja! Even if it’s just a little one on the neck <3

Thick hair! It is a curse and a blessing. My grandpa will never bald compared to a white man, but in exchange I have to deal with shaving my chin every day to compensate LMAO. So I like giving my characters thick eyebrows, dark body hair, or thicker hair than most designs! It’s cool and neat!!! But please be mindful about how you do this as there have been white artists who have done this in racist and harmful ways, such as rcdart. ( X ) ( X ) 

I also recommend checking out shows like El Tigre, and Victor y Valentino, for some more fun and simple designs that show a wide variety of Mexican characters! (Also I just love Jorge R Gutierrez’s designs in general jaja)

Hope this helps! <3

[shihalyfie]

Hi :) If it's not too much trouble, could you please share your take on why they'd continue the Adventure brand after tri. was such a flop? (and a tangent: what does "dark history" even mean?). We got Kizuna, the reboot, and a 02 movie. Logically, it doesn't really make sense they'd keep investing in it.

This is a thorny topic, and I'd like to reiterate that although I've ended up making more posts related to this series and the discourse surrounding it recently (probably because it's even more on the mind now that another movie is on the horizon and a lot of people are apprehensive for various reasons), I do not want this blog to be making a brand out of being critical of this series. I’m writing this here and in public because I figured that there is a certain degree I need to clarify what I mean about audience reception/climate and how it might impact current or future works, and I’m admittedly also more than a little upset that I occasionally see Western fanbase criticisms of the series getting dismissed by people claiming that the only people mad about it are dramamongering or ignorant Westerners (which could not be further from the truth). However, this is mainly to address this and to answer your question, and is not intended to try and change anyone's existing opinion or impression of the series as much as it's me trying to explain (from my own personal reading of the situation) what practically went down with critical reception in real life; no more, no less.

The short summary of the matter is:

The series was a moderate financial success (albeit with some caveats; see the long version for details) and definitely outstripped a lot of prior attempts to revive the franchise;

However, the overall Japanese fanbase-side critical backlash from tri. was extremely and viciously negative to the point where even acknowledging the series too much could easily result in controversy;

Kizuna’s production and the PR surrounding it very obviously have this in mind with a lot of apparent “damage control” elements.

The long version is below.

Note that while I try to be diligent about citing my sources so people understand that I’m not just making things up wholesale, I’m deliberately refraining from linking certain things here this time, both because some of the things mentioned have some pretty crude things written there -- it’s not something I feel comfortable directing people to regardless of what language it’s in -- and because I don’t want to recklessly link things on social media and cause anyone to go after or harass the people involved. For the links that have been provided, please still be warned that some of them don’t really link to particularly pleasant things.

I am not writing the following information to suggest that anyone should agree or disagree with the sentiments being described. I know people tend to take "a lot of people like/hate this" as a signal of implication "it is correct to like/hate this" when it's not (and I especially dislike the idea of implying that Japanese fanbase opinions are the only correct ones). There's a reason I focus on "critical reception being this way" (because it influences marketing decisions and future direction) rather than how much this should impact one's personal feelings; this is coming from myself as someone who is shamelessly proud of liking many things that had bad critical reception, were financial failures, or are disliked by many. As I point out near the end, the situation also does seem to be changing for the better in more recent years as well.

Also, to be clear, I'm a single person who's observing everything best I can from my end, I have no affiliations with staff nor do I claim to, and as much as I'm capable of reading Japanese and thus reading a lot of people's impressions, I'm ultimately still another “outsider” looking in. These are my impressions from my observation of fan communal spaces, following artists and reading comments on social media and art posting websites, and results from social media searches. In the end, I know as much as anyone else about what happened, so this is just my two cents based on all of my personal observations.

A fanbase is a fanbase regardless of what part of the world you're from. There are people who love it and are shameless about saying so. There are people who have mixed feelings or at least aren't on extreme ends of the spectrum (as always, the loudest ones are always the most visible, but it's not always easy to claim they're the predominant percentage of the fanbase). That happens everywhere, and I still find that on every end I've seen. However, if I'm talking about my impressions and everything I’ve encountered, I will say that the overall Japanese reaction to tri. comes off as significantly more violently negative on average than the Western one, which is unusual because often it's the other way around. (I personally feel less so because the opinions are that fundamentally different and more so because we're honestly kind of loud and in-your-face people; otherwise, humans are mostly the same everywhere, and more often than not people feel roughly the same about everything if they’re given the same information to work with.)

This is not something I can say lightly, and thus would not say if I didn’t really get this impression, but...we're talking "casually looking up movie reviews for Kizuna have an overwhelming amount of people casually citing any acknowledgment of tri. elements as a negative element", or the fact that even communal wikis for "general" fandoms like Pixiv and Aniwota don't tend to hold back in being vicious about it (as of this writing, Pixiv's wiki refuses to consider it in the same timeline as Adventure, accusing it of being "a series that claims to be a sequel set three years after 02 but is in fact something different"). Again, there are people who openly enjoy it and actively advocate for it (and Pixiv even warns people to not lord over others about it condescendingly because of the fact that such people do exist), and this is also more of a reflection of “the hardcore fanbase on the Internet” and not necessarily the mainstream (after all, there are quite a few other Digimon works where the critical reception varies very heavily between the two). Nevertheless, the take-home is that the reputation is overall negative among the Internet fanbase to the point that this is the kind of sentiment you run into without trying all that hard.

I think, generally speaking, if we're just talking about why a lot of people resent the series, the reasons aren't that different from those on the Western side. However, that issue of "dark history" (黒歴史): there's a certain degree of demand from the more violently negative side of the fanbase that's, in a sense, asking official to treat it as a disgrace and never acknowledge it ever again, hence why Kizuna doing so much as borrowing things from it rather than rejecting it outright is still sometimes treated like it’s committing a sin. So it's somewhat close in spirit to a retcon movement, which is unusual because no other Digimon series gets this (not even 02; that was definitely a thing on the Western end, but while I'm sure there are people who hate it that much on their end too, I've never really seen it gain enough momentum for anyone to take it seriously). If anyone ever tells you that Japanese fanbases are nice to everything, either they don't know Japanese, are being willfully ignorant, or are lying to you, because there is such thing as drama in those areas, and in my experience, I've seen things get really nasty when things are sufficiently pushed over the edge, and if a fanbase wants to have drama, it will have drama. This happens to be one of those times.

(If you think this is extreme, please know that I also think so too, so I hope you really understand that me describing this sentiment does not mean I am personally endorsing it. Also, let me reiterate that the loudest section of the fanbase is not necessarily the predominant one; after all, as someone who’s been watching reactions to 02 over the years, I myself can attest that its hatedom has historically made it sound more despised than it actually is in practice.)

My impression is that the primary core sentiment behind why the series so much as existing and being validated is considered such an offense (rather than, say, just saying "wow, that writing was bad" and moving on) is heavily tied to the release circumstances the series came out in during 2015-2018, and the idea that "this series disrespected Adventure, and also disrespected the fanbase.” (I mean, really, regardless of what part of the world you’re from, sequels and adaptations tend to be held to a higher bar of expectation than standalone works, because they’re expected to do them justice.) A list of complaints I’ve come across a lot while reading through the above:

The Japanese fanbase is pretty good at recordkeeping when it comes to Adventure universe lore, partially because they got a lot of extra materials that weren’t localized, but also partially because adherence to it seems to generally be more Serious Business to them than it is elsewhere. For instance, “according to Adventure episode 45, ‘the one who wishes for stability’ (Homeostasis) only started choosing children in 1995, and therefore there can be no Chosen Children before 1995” is taken with such gravity that this, not anything to do with evolutions or timeline issues, is the main reason Hurricane Touchdown’s canonicity was disputed in that arena (because Wallace implies that he met his partners before 1995). It’s a huge reason the question of Kizuna also potentially not complying to lore came to the forefront, because tri. so flagrantly contradicts it so much that this issue became very high on the evaluation checklist. In practice, Kizuna actually goes against Adventure/02 very little, so the reason tri. in particular comes under fire for this is that it does it so blatantly there were theories as early as Part 1 that this series must take place in a parallel universe or something, and as soon as it became clear it didn’t, the resulting sentiment was “wow, you seriously thought nobody would notice?” (thus “disrespecting the audience”).

A lot of the characterization incongruity is extremely obvious when you’re following only the Japanese version, partially because it didn’t have certain localization-induced characterization changes (you are significantly less likely to notice a disparity with Mimi if you’re working off the American English dub where they actually did make her likely to step on others’ toes and be condescending, whereas in Japanese the disparity is jarring and hard to miss) and partially due to some things lost in translation (Mimi improperly using rough language on elders is much easier to spot as incongruity if you’re familiar with the language). Because it’s so difficult to miss, and honestly feels like a lot of strange writing decisions you’d make only if you really had no concept of what on earth happened in the original series, it only contributes to the idea that they were handling Adventure carelessly and disrespectfully without paying attention to what the series was even about (that, or worse, they didn’t care).

02 is generally well-liked there! It’s controversial no matter where you go, but as I said earlier, there was no way a retcon movement would have ever been taken seriously, and the predominant sentiment is that, even if you’re not a huge fan of it, its place in canon (even the epilogue) should be respected. So not only flagrantly going against 02-introduced lore but also doing that to a certain quartet is seen as malicious, and you don’t have as much of the converse discourse celebrating murdering the 02 quartet (yeah, that’s a thing that happened here) or accusing people with complaints of “just being salty because they like 02″ as nearly as much of a factor; I did see it happen, or at least dismissals akin to “well it’s Adventure targeted anyway,” but they were much less frequent. The issue with the 02 quartet is usually the first major one brought up, and there’s a lot of complaints even among those who don’t care for 02 as much that the way they went about it was inhumane and hypocritical, especially when killing Imperialdramon is fine but killing Meicoomon is a sin. Also, again, “you seriously think nobody will see a problem with how this doesn’t make sense?”

I think even those who are fans of the series generally agree with this, but part of the reason the actual real-life time this series went on is an important factor is that the PR campaign for this series was godawful. Nine months of clicking on an egg on a website pretending like audience participation meant something when in actuality it was blatantly obvious it was just a smokescreen to reveal info whenever they were ready? This resulted in a chain effect where even more innocuous/defensible things were viewed in a suspicious or negative light (for instance, "the scam of selling the fake Kaiser's goggles knowing Ken fans would buy it only to reveal that it's not him anyway"), and a bunch of progressively out-of-touch-with-the-fanbase statements and poor choices led to more sentiment “yeah, you’re just insulting the fanbase at this point,” and a general erosion of trust in official overall.

On top of that, the choice of release format to have it spread out as six movies over three years seems to have exacerbated the backlash to get much worse than it would have been otherwise, especially since one of the major grievances with the series is that how it basically strung people along, building up more and more unanswered questions before it became apparent it was never going to answer them anyway. So when you’re getting that frustrated feeling over three whole years, it feels like three years of prolonged torture, and it becomes much harder to forgive for the fallout than if you’d just marathoned the entire thing at once.

For those who are really into the Digimon (i.e. species) lore and null canon, while I’m not particularly well-versed in that side of the fanbase, it seems tri. fell afoul of them too for having inaccurately portrayed (at one point, mislabeled) special attacks and poorly done battle choreography, along with the treatment of Digimon in general (infantilized Digimon characterization, general lack of Digimon characters in general, very flippant treatment of the Digital World in Parts 3-5). If you say you’re going to “reboot” the Digital World and not address the entire can of worms that comes with basically damaging an entire civilization of Digimon, as you can imagine, a lot of people who actually really care about that are going to be pissed, and the emerging sentiment is “you’re billing this as a Digimon work, but you don’t even care about the monsters that make up this franchise.”

The director does not have a very positive reputation among those who know his work (beyond just Digimon), and in general there was a lot of suspicion around the fact they decided to get a guy whose career has primarily been built on harem and fanservice anime to direct a sequel to a children’s series. Add to that a ton of increasingly unnerving statements about how he intended to make the series “mature” in comparison to its predecessor (basically, an implication that Adventure and 02 were happy happy joy series where nothing bad ever happened) and descriptions of Adventure that implied a very, very poor grasp of anything that happened in it: inaccurate descriptions of their characters, poor awareness of 02′s place in the narrative, outright saying in Febri that he saw the Digimon as like perpetual kindergartners even after evolving, and generally such a flippant attitude that it drove home the idea that the director of an Adventure sequel had no respect for Adventure, made this series just to maliciously dunk on it for supposedly being immature, and has such a poor grasp of what it even was that it’s possible he may not have seen it in the first place (or if he did, clearly skimmed it to the extent he understood it poorly to pretty disturbing levels). As of this writing, Aniwota Wiki directly cites him as a major reason for the backlash.

In general, consensus seems to be that the most positively received aspect of the series (story-wise) was Part 3 (mostly its ending, but some are more amenable to the Takeru and Patamon drama), and the worst vitriol goes towards Parts 2 (for the blatantly contradictory portrayal of Mimi and Jou and the hypocritical killing of Imperialdramon) and 4 (basically the “point of no return” where even more optimistic people started getting really turned off). This is also what I suspect is behind the numbers on the infamous DigiPoll (although the percentage difference is admittedly low enough to fall within margin of error). However, there was suspicion about the series even from Part 1, with one prominent fanartist openly stating that it felt more like meeting a ton of new people than it did reuniting with anyone they knew.

So with all of that on the table: how did this affect official? The thing is that when I say “violently negative”, I mean that also entailed spamming official with said violently negative social media comments. While this is speculation, I am fairly certain that official must have realized how bad this was getting as early as between Parts 4 and 5, because that’s where a lot of really suspicious things started happening behind the scenes; while I imagine the anime series itself was now too far in to really do anything about it, one of the most visible producers suddenly vanished from the producer lineup and was replaced by Kinoshita Yousuke, who ended up being the only member of tri. staff shared with Kizuna (and, in general, the fact that not a single member of staff otherwise was retained kind of says a lot). Once the series ended in 2018 and the franchise slowly moved into Kizuna-related things, you might notice that tri.-branded merch production almost entirely screeched to a halt and official has been very touchy about acknowledging it too deeply; it’s not that they don’t, but it’s kind of an awfully low amount for what you’d think would be warranted for a series that’s supposed to be a full entry in the big-name Adventure brand.

The reason is, simply, that if they do acknowledge it too much, people will get pissed at them. That’s presumably why the tri. stage play (made during that interim period between Parts 4 and 5 and even branded with the title itself) and Kizuna are really hesitant to be too aggressive about tri. references; it’s not necessarily that official wants to blot it out of history like the most extreme opinions would like them to, but even being too enthusiastic about affirming it will also get them backlash, especially if the things they affirm are contradictory to Adventure or 02. And considering even the small references they did put in still got them criticism for “affirming” tri. too much, you can easily see that the backlash would have been much harder if they’d attempted more than that; staying as close as possible to Adventure and 02 and trying to deal with tri. elements only when they’re comparatively inoffensive was pretty much the “safe” thing to do in this scenario (especially since fully denying tri. would most certainly upset the people who did like the series, and if you have to ask me, I personally think this would have been a pretty crude thing to have done right after the series had just finished). Even interviews taken after the fact often involve quickly disclaiming involvement with the series, or, if they have to bring up something about it, discussing the less controversial aspects like the art (while the character designs were still controversial, it’s at least at the point where some fanartists will still be willing to make use of them even if they dislike the series, albeit often with prominent disclaimers) or the more well-received parts of Part 3; Kizuna was very conspicuously marketed as a standalone movie, even if it shared the point of “the Adventure kids, but older” that tri. had.

(Incidentally, the tri. stage play has generally been met with a good reputation and was received well even among people who were upset with the anime, so it was well-understood that they had no relation. In fact, said stage play is probably even better received than Kizuna, although that’s not too surprising given the controversial territory Kizuna goes into, making the stage play feel very play-it-safe in comparison.)

So, if we’re going to talk about Kizuna in particular: tri. was, to some degree, a moderate financial success, in the sense that it made quite a bit of money and did a lot to raise awareness of the Digimon brand still continuing...however, if you actually look at the sales figures for tri., they go down every movie; part of it was probably because of the progressively higher “hurdle” to get into a series midway, but consider that Gundam Unicorn (a movie series which tri.’s format was often compared to) had its sales go up per movie thanks to word of mouth and hype. So while tri. does seem to have gotten enough money to help sustain the franchise at first, the trade-off was an extremely livid fanbase that had shattered faith in the brand and in official, and so while continuing the Adventure brand might still be profitable, there was no way they were going to get away with continuing to do this lest everything eventually crash and burn.

Hence, if you look at the way Kizuna was produced and advertised, you can see a lot of it is blatantly geared at addressing a lot of the woes aimed at tri.: instead of the staff that had virtually no affiliation with Toei, the main members of staff announced were either from the original series (Seki and Yamatoya) or openly childhood fans, the 02 quartet was made into a huge advertising point as a dramatic DigiFes reveal (and character profies that tie into the 02 epilogue careers prominently part of the advertising from day one), and they even seemed to acknowledge the burnout on the original Adventure group by advertising it so heavily as “the last adventure of Taichi and his friends”, so you can see that there’s a huge sentiment of “damage control” with it. How successful that was...is debatable, since opinions have been all over the board; quite a few people were naturally so livid at what happened with tri. that Kizuna was just opening more of the wound, but there were also people who liked it much better and were willing to acknowledge it (with varying levels of enthusiasm, some simply saying “it was thankfully okay,” and some outright loving it), and there was a general sentiment even among those who disliked both that they at least understood what Kizuna was going for and that it didn’t feel as inherently disrespectful. (Of course, there are people who loved tri. and hated Kizuna, and there are people who loved both, too.)

Moreover, Kizuna actually has a slightly different target audience from tri.; there’s a pretty big difference between an OVA and a theatrical movie, and, quite simply, Kizuna was made under the assumption that a lot of people watching it may not have even seen tri. in the first place. An average of 11% of the country watched Adventure and 02, but the number of people who watched tri. is much smaller, in part due to the fact that its “theater” screenings were only very limited screenings compared to Kizuna being shown in theaters in Japan and worldwide, and in part due to the fact that watching six parts over three years is a pretty huge commitment for someone who may barely remember Digimon as anything beyond a show they watched as a kid, and may be liable to just fall off partway through because they simply just forgot. (Which also probably wasn’t helped by the infamously negative reputation, something that definitely wouldn’t encourage someone already on the fence.) And that’s yet another reason Kizuna couldn’t make too many concrete tri. references; being a theatrical movie, it needs to have as wide appeal as possible, and couldn’t risk locking out an audience that had a very high likelihood of not having seen it, much less to the end -- it may have somewhat been informed by tri.’s moderate financial success and precedent, but it ultimately was made for the original Adventure and 02 audience more than anything else.

I would say that, generally, while Kizuna is “controversial” for sure, reception towards the movie seems to be more positive than negative, it won over a large chunk of people who were burned out by tri., and it clearly seems to have been received well enough that it’s still being cashed in on a year after its release. The sheer existence of the upcoming 02-based movie is also probably a sign of Kizuna’s financial and critical success; Kinoshita confirmed at DigiFes 2020 that nothing was in production at the time, and stated shortly after the movie’s announcement that work on it had just started. So the decision to make it seems to have been made after eyeing Kizuna’s reception, and, moreover, the movie was initially advertised from the get-go with Kizuna’s director and writer (Taguchi and Yamatoya), meaning those two have curried enough goodwill from the fanbase that this can be used to promote the movie. (If not, you would think that having and advertising Seki would be the bigger priority.) While this is my own sentiment, I am personally doubtful official would have even considered 02 something remotely profitable enough on its own to cash in on if it weren’t for this entire sequence of events of 02′s snubbing in tri. revealing how much of a fanbase it had (especially with the sheer degree of “suspicious overcompensation” Kizuna had with its copious use of the 02 quartet and it tagging a remix of the first 02 ED on the Hanareteitemo single, followed by the drama CD and character songs), followed by Kizuna having success in advertising with them so heavily. Given all of the events between 2015 and now, it’s a bit ironic to see that 02 has now become basically the last resort to be able to continue anything in the original Adventure universe without getting too many people upset at them about it.

The bright side coming out of all of this is that, while it’s still a bit early to tell, now that we’re three years out from tri. finishing up and with Kizuna in the game, it seems there’s a possibility for things improving around tri.’s reception as well. Since a lot of the worst heated points of backlash against it have a very “you had to have been there” element (related to the PR, release schedule, and staff comments), those coming in “late” don’t have as much reason to be as pissed at it; I’ve seen at least one case of a fanartist getting back into the franchise because of Kizuna hype, watching tri. to catch up, casually criticizing it on Twitter, and moving on with their life, presumably because marathoning the whole thing being generally aware of what’ll happen in it and knowing Kizuna is coming after anyway gives you a lot less reason to be angry to the point of holding an outright grudge. Basically, even if you don’t like it, it’s much easier to actually go “yeah, didn’t like that,” not worry too much about it, and move on. Likewise, I personally get the impression that official has been starting to get a little more confident about digging up elements related to it. Unfortunately, a fairly recent tweet promoting the series getting put on streaming services still got quite a few angry comments implying that they should be deleting the scourge from the Internet instead, so there’s still a long way to go, but hopefully the following years will see things improve further...

In regards to the reboot, I -- and I think a lot of people will agree with me -- have a bit of a hard time reading what exact audience it’s trying to appeal to; we have a few hints from official that they want parents to watch it with their children, and that it may have been a necessary ploy in order to secure their original timeslot. So basically, the Adventure branding gets parents who grew up with the original series to be interested in it and to show it to their kids, and convinces Fuji TV that it might be profitable. But as most people have figured by now, the series has a completely different philosophy and writing style -- I mean, the interview itself functionally admits it’s here to be more action-oriented and to have its own identity -- and the target audience is more the kids than anything else. As for the Internet fanbase of veterans, most people have been critical of its character writing and pacing, but other than a few stragglers who are still really pissed, it hasn’t attracted all that much vitriol, probably because in the end it’s an alternate universe, it doesn’t have any obligation to adhere to anything from the original even if it uses the branding, and it’s clearly still doing its job of being a kids’ show for kids who never saw the original series nor 02, so an attempt to call it “disrespectful” to the original doesn’t have much to stand on. A good number of people who are bored of it decided it wasn’t interesting to them and dropped it without incident, while other people are generally just enjoying it for being fun, and the huge amount of Digimon franchise fanservice with underrepresented Digimon and high fidelity to null canon lore is really pleasing the side of the fanbase that’s into that (I mean, Digimon World Golemon is really deep in), so at the very least, there’s not a lot to be super-upset about.