#sometimes I feel like myself and ¾ the website are speaking different languages

[marietheran]

Oh the joy of being on Tumblr as an outlier who doesn't believe in blocking unless there's harassment 🙃🙃🙃

[sadceline]

THE ENHYPEN HOST || 1

|| Reverse harem || ft. TXT, Minggyu (Seventeen) & BTS

PAIRING: FEM OC X ENHYPEN

WARNINGS: foul language, explicit content, group sex, humiliation, sex in public, threesome, foursoome, rough sex, red flags, immoral acts, unprotected sex, morbid jealousy, comedy, parody, possessiveness, violent quarrels, arguments, betrayals, lies, femdom sometimes.

GENTRE: +18, reverse harem, comedy, enemy to lovers, friends to lovers

SUMMARY: You moved to Seoul to start over after a bad experience, and everything seems to be going well, you even manage to work for HYBE. You discover, however, that you owe them almost a billion won, money you don't have and don't know how to recover: but don't worry because Hybe itself offers you a solution.

Your body in exchange for paying off your debt.

Do you accept?

Okay, follow me for a moment!

A little context is needed to understand the dire situation in witch I find myself.

I'm a graphic designer, I was born in Campania, Italy, but I moved very early to Bologna, still in Italy but in another region, with mom and dad who are now little more than acquaintances to me, where I spent my existence until my 22nd birthday, when I moreover found out that my idiot boyfriend was cheating on me, with his cousin.

I didn't have time to feel bad about it, because I was pretty disgusted in general. However, it wasn't that I was in love with him, I simply found myself a bit lost - with the only known relatives inhabitants of small remote little cities in the Campania hinterland, who haven't seen me in at least ten years, and a failed career as an advertising graphic designer.

Unable to maintain the hectic pace of business, not to mention the harassment and constant mansplaining I was suffering, I retreated into freelancing. By being able to manage my schedule, I could also manage me, and think about the future.

For several months I contemplated going to Spain but then one of the few friends I had left at the time, after hosting me in her house for some strange reason in Sorrento (in Campania!), always kept secret from her, proposed me to leave with her for Seoul.

It was the fashion of the moment, I had heard about it, but I was too focused on self-pity to be interested in such frivolities - as a matter of fact, while we had been planning the trip for months, I got a little obsessed myself.

She likes BTS, for me too overblown, too famous. I used to focus more on the up-and-comers, there was one band in particular, it consisted of one guy who was better looking than the other, however, not being a kpop senior yet I sometimes confused them, I couldn't even pronounce their name.

So you can imagine my excitement when, just two months after moving to Seoul, I was contacted by a Hybe agent who, after looking at my portfolio found on a website, said he was pleasantly impressed and would like something in my style, for the cover of ENYPHEN's next album, that's how he pronounced it!

After I heard him say those words over the phone I was silent, not because I was thinking about it - of course I was speechless.

It had to be some scam, it had to be! There can be no such coincidence in real life.

The man emailed me his calling card, so I could look up the information on the Internet, and a place to meet.

At Hybe's headquarters.

Are you kidding me? Ester said thus. "Do you think I would let you go alone? What if he is a maniac?"

I didn't speak Korean at the time, but I knew English pretty well, so, yes, I was able to get the job, but in the end, for some reason, my illustration was used for the SIDE B of the album, completely different, official but not primary concept version. I was quite hurt at first, but then I realized that it was already absurd to be able to work with them, I really had no complaints.

Of course, we never met either BTS or ENHYPEN, although once I went alone (I couldn't always go with Ester), I saw Beomgyu from TXT who I have a very heavy crush on, although he always gave me very strange vibes. I obviously didn't even get close to him and looked at him from a distance, however, he was in a hurry anyway, so it's not certain that he would stop.

Okay, let's move on!

After the collaboration was over, I pocketed good money, we ate takeout for at least two weeks in a row, we went in clubs all the time, while every now and then I had flashbacks of my ex-boyfriend, for whom I had begun to feel a strange empathy, as if he were mentally ill. It wasn't the cousin thing as the fact that he had no need to look for a lover - we pretty much did it all the time! It was one of the few things I did well and fucking gladly!

But maybe, I wasn't good enough?

Months passed, Ester taught me Korean, which she had taught herself, and while she was having fun with a lot of guys, I had entered a new state of paralysis. After working with Hybe I expected many requests, many contacts, would come, but instead nothing. Small jobs for small activities with small monetary and psychological rewards.

I didn't do the same as Ester not because I was demure - that adjective was never a part of me - as much as because I still couldn't understand let alone speak Korean, and not everyone knew English, so sometimes it happened that I felt uncomfortable, out of place. I managed to use the time of work paralysis to engage in study, I had to have a social life too! Independently of Ester!

Eventually I decided that for ten hours a day Ester and I could communicate only in Korean, she agreed without thinking and began the experiment. After three months I was able to speak Korean almost fluently, to the point that sometimes we did not even return to speaking Italian.

I was ready to embark on enterprising and exciting multi-ethnic relationships, socializing, and trying to understand South Korea better!

I discovered that it was a terrible place.

Not so much from the foreigner's point of view, but for the Koreans themselves, all very rigid with each other and with themselves, always competing, but also misogynistic, macho, not to mention the jokes about foreign women I heard! Terrible.

Tired of South Korea, after only a year, I talked to Ester about going back-it came out as a hypothetical, after all, I was going to do what she wanted anyway. I didn't want to be alone, and she seemed happy to live with me.

She convinced me to stay a little longer, she wanted to introduce me to her official boyfriend, a good one, really, not interested exclusively in sex! Yes, they are all like that, I had experienced it myself.

Just before I could meet him, however, the two broke up. Sad for Ester who looked devastated, but underneath happy, maybe to be able to go back to Sorrento, to breathe clean air, I consoled her for a whole night, we stayed up drinking and laughing, or crying.

Before I went to bed, in the early hours of dawn, I looked at my cell phone as usual and noticed that Hybe had texted me, again!

Sleep disappeared, I went back to Ester, who had fallen asleep on the floor in the living room, and woke her up to tell her the fantastic news, fuck, I was so excited! Who was I going to work for this time? TXT? BTS? Seventeen?

Copyright violation: that was the subject line, and oddly enough, the entire email was written completely and exclusively in Korean. I was being sued on behalf of Hybe for infringing the copyright of a Pakistan artist who had in turn sued Hybe, because of my design, and won!

What great news! I had gotten incredibly good at Korean.

"Ama, are you okay? Oh, Ama? You look pale!" Ester had said, grabbing me by the shoulders and shaking me.

"Hybe wants compensation of eight hundred million won," I had said, under my breath, incredulously, "that's like five hundred thousand euros."

"But you don't have it!"

"I know I don't have it."

"Then you can't give it to them, sue them!"

Yes, it would have been nice and easy but I had no idea how the law worked in Korea, and anyway I couldn't sue them because the contract I had signed had exactly one copyright clause in it. If I had in any way caused damage to the agency's image, through copyright infringement, I would have been called upon to compensate them one billion won, which however had been generously raised to eight hundred million, to make it easier for me, understand?

I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do. Reach Mexico? Return to Italy? Apply for a loan? And would they grant it to me? Ester advised me to talk to them directly and look for a reasonable solution, offered to accompany me, but when we arranged to meet, they told me to show up alone, or with my lawyer, although this was not necessary because we would talk about it cordially.

I knew Korean quite well now, and inside Hybe practically everyone spoke English. I'll go alone.

I met the CEO himself, a man with round glasses and a kind, smiling, serene face, Park Jiwon. He told me to make myself comfortable and congratulated me for going without a lawyer, since what he was going to propose was best heard only by me.

"Changing the illustration from SIDE A to SIDE B, that was your greatest good fortune, wasn't it?" He had said, smiling in that gentle way that was now chilling.

"I am deeply sorry Mr. Park, I have never seen-"

"I know you can't pay - he had politely interrupted me, getting up from his desk and motioning his secretary to leave. - I'm here to offer you something beneficial, in which you'll always be safe and won't have to worry about, however, it's up to you to decide whether you'd rather return the money or not."

It's called the Jyp method.

Are you curious? This is a funny story.

Korean idols, whether male or female, are people of extreme beauty. It's unthinkable that they won't touch or let anyone touch them for years on end, but that's exactly what the fans want - who feel they are in complete control of their bodies.

Creepy, I realize, but it is quite normal in some parts of Asia.

So how can these poor boys "let off steam"?

The males are given a girl to live with them, together they can have as much fun as they want but within the limits of the host's safety and preferences.

For females it is a bit different but he still wanted to explain it to me, in fact for them multiple partners are needed and these partners do not live with them, but they can make appointments, as if they were gigolos working only for them.

The reason why this is used is because of scandals, any outside relationship cannot really be monitored by the agency. If girls and boys do not need to look for a stable partner and can simply take out their sexual desires on someone, the risk of scandal decreases significantly and their popularity is safe, as are the earnings on them.

In contrast to male guests, female guests tend to be a bit more problematic, which is why only one is usually chosen.

He makes it clear up front that it is forbidden to have relationships with idols, both parties must behave respectfully, and for any complaints from the guest, the agency will take appropriate action, so it is a completely safe situation, understand?

It is called the Jyp method because it was the CEO of the music label of the same name who invented it.

What do you care, you should do it! That's what I thought too, I mean - the band in question was really Enyphen! That way you won't have to pay for it anymore and you'll be hanging out with a lot of pretty boys! That's what you're thinking, it's obvious, really - I thought it first.

Yet to say yes, just offhand, I didn't feel like it.

Mr. Park told me to think about it calmly, giving me two days.

I talked to Ester about it; she did not give me any advice.

She just told me to read the contract well, this time, in case I wanted to accept it, but still she would not judge me, and then I could present them to her - even though I still knew nothing about how the matter was going to unfold.

Clearly I agreed, it was obvious, wasn't it? Otherwise we wouldn't be here.

NEXT CHAPTER:

[aeternallis]

High-Context Culture at Play and Kim's Mode of Communicating // a rant

So, something I notice once in awhile when I go through the tags on Ao3 for KPTS fics are commentary on the lack of communication in the show—specifically, how Kim doesn't communicate. Tags such as, "Kim communicates, it's a miracle", "OOC because they actually communicate", "Kim uses his words", "Healthy Communication, so it's OOC", etc etc.

This isn't meant to call anyone out and mind you, this isn't something I've only seen in the KPTS fandom; tags like these are also used in a lot of danmei fics I see, as well as the sheer variety of anime/manga fics I've read in my time.

And ngl, when I see those tags...my gut reaction is often to feel that they sound very much tongue-in-cheek and somewhat mocking. Not just to the character himself, but to the narrative itself. It's a bit uncomfortable at times, reading those kinds of tags, even if I know to myself that there's likely no malicious intent behind it.

For what it's worth, I won't apply bad faith arguments on works of art and creativity, and I'm certainly not looking to police fic on Ao3, yknow?

Having said that though and just because I have yet to see a post talking about this topic explicitly, I also feel that it's important to some degree to understand how people communicate in Thailand, and Asia in general.

Mind you, I’m no expert in Thai culture, lemme repeat that yet again. They have unspoken social rules that I myself wouldn't understand because I'm not Thai, nor do I speak Thai. Asia at large, though sharing a unique set of many similar values, is not a homologous region; each country has a rich tapestry of history and culture and very much different from one another.

Yet, as someone who grew up in an Asian household who shares many of said values, I often feel like—when it comes to East Asian/Southeast Asian fictional characters at large—there has always been an unconscious, almost knee-jerk habit I often see in fanfiction to reshape their style of communication to a more western context, if that makes sense. As someone who used to translate doujinshi and Pixiv 小説 for fun, it was always noticeable and a bit jarring, once I moved over to read my fanfic of choice, yknow.

This isn't inherently or purposefully malicious in any way, but it can feel very dismissive, even if it's unconsciously done.

Thailand and most if not all of SE Asia operate in a high-context culture. High-context culture means that when we communicate, it’s not always so much the words themselves that matter, but the context surrounding those words: body language, tone, eye contact, a person’s social status, etc etc. The words sometimes only convey part of the intent, but it doesn’t convey everything. In some situations, the words themselves can even mean the exact opposite of what they’re trying to convey.

It's why so many misunderstandings happen between international fans on platforms like X, because the nuance is often lost in Google Translate.

On the other end of that, we can use Tumblr as the example: since this is mostly an English-speaking website, for the most part, this hellsite operates on a low-context culture, but is easily ignited with outrage based on seemingly high-context traits. LOLOL

This type of communication is not always easily translated into the subtitles, nor is it remotely perfect in any way. It can be quite complex, and hell, even in the context of its own culture, misunderstandings can and do happen all the time. And, as we've seen from the recent popularity boom of East Asian media from the past two or three decades to the American and western audience at large, some of the most compelling drama can come from these sorts of human error.

Besides that, if I’m being perfectly honest, almost always (one of) the source(s) of fandom drama when it comes to character interpretation is due to the nuances of the high-context culture the story takes place in that can have the loudest enthusiasts arguing back and forth.

This is particularly true for characters like Kim Theerapanyakul, who are meant to be portrayed as mysterious and unreadable.

(Lan Wangji and Hyakuya Mika are also a few that comes to mind in my personal experience, uh huh)

To be quite frank, it's why I personally avoid getting into any nitty gritty discussion when it comes to characters like Kim and LWJ, because they mean so much to many different people, as well as simply for the fact that I do not know everyone's emotional tolerance when it comes to disagreements. Lol What I'm saying right now can be taken to be hard-hitting fandom policing, when I'm really trying hard not for it to sound like that, nor is it even my intent. I'm not telling anyone that they're wrong or that they've misinterpreted the characters, but what I am saying, is that people in fandoms, especially for the English-Only Speakers at large, need to be more consciously aware of their cultural biases.

And before I go on, mind you, it’s perfectly okay to have cultural biases—we all have them, myself included, that's just a fact of life. No one is exempt from this, if anyone is itching to point fingers.

I don't think it's an unreasonable thing to say that if one is engaging in media that's not from their cultural context, it's good to be more aware of the surrounding cultural norms and values of that said piece of media when you apply your own interpretation to it, and especially when you may not be the intended audience.

It’s why “your headcanons are not my headcanons” is, I will always believe, a very good rule to adhere to, especially when peeps disagree with popular headcanons, so fandoms can be more respectful and tolerant of each otherrrrrrr when disagreements inevitably crop upppppp, but anywayyyyyy~

I’ve met enough expats who’ve lived abroad in my current line of work to say that trying to understand the unspoken social rules, norms, values, etc. of the foreign country they choose to live in is most often one of their biggest sources of frustration. Alas.

And, as a side-note: high-context cultures are in no way superior to low-context cultures. Both modes of communication have their pros and cons, and molds society in various different ways.

But I digress! An example of the high-context culture at play is the break-up scene in front of Kim's apartment, which I've seen a number of fic authors portray as a genuine apology from Kim:

Which—in terms of what was spoken, Kim did say he was sorry.

But let’s think about the context of the apology: he said the words as he was walking away, before pulling his arm from Chay’s grasp. He looks back at Chay coldly, and overall, his behavior is dismissive; from his body language alone, he portrays a picture of aloofness and treats Chay as an annoyance.

What he says is an apology, yes—but it's an apology with no sincerity whatsoever. It's why Chay broke down as hard as he did, because it's not just Kim's lies that had him reeling, it was the fact that in the context of how Kim dismissed Chay during that scene, it also heavily implies that nothing between them had ever been sincere. Kim completely reverses the understanding that Chay had of their friend/relation-ship and cuts it off completely.

And although what I'm saying may come across as "Duh, that's freakin' obvious," I also want to add another point: Kim would know the implications of what this non-apology is. He would understand the context in which he'd said those words. Whether he chose to regret them or not later on is up for debate, but it's interesting to see whenever fic authors use this scene as an excuse that Kim genuinely thought he apologized, just because he said the words out loud.

Do you see what I mean? In that scene, the canon's context is what matters, but I've seen enough fic where that scene is turned on its head and fic!Kim thinks and excuses himself, portraying the scene to somehow mean that it's the words that matter. The nuance is thus lost, so in turn, the emotional weight of that scene is also disregarded.

This is what I mean when I say that there is an unconscious habit some fic authors have in changing the communication style that the show is set in.

Because the reality is, Kim didn't apologize. He knew he didn't, and Chay most certainly knew he didn't. What he was communicating in that scene was entirely different from what an actual apology entails.

Be that as it may, the audience knows that the non-apology doesn't negate what he and Chay went through together in the show. He may have been lying to Chay for the majority of the story in regards to his involvement in the mafia, but it doesn't mean that the love and adoration he feels for Chay through his actions didn't come through. Kim may not have said much to Chay besides singing for him a (stolen) refurbished version of his own song, but it doesn’t mean that his intent wasn’t conveyed. It's why Chay cried the way he did, in that in some way or another, the song Kim sang is a reminder of everything that happened between them did have truth to it.

Just because they communicate in the way one may not be used to or unfamiliar with (especially in the low-context culture that countries like the US, Canada, Australia, etc. operate in), doesn't mean that they're not communicating to one another.

Healthy communication doesn’t always have to just mean “straightforward meaning in the words.”

When tags like the ones I mentioned earlier in this rant inevitably crop up, especially when it comes to characters who are non-American/British, one can't help but feel that their canon mode of communication is being mocked and made to be seen as inferior.

In which case, TL;DR, when one writes tags like these about certain characters, I sincerely hope that their cultural biases are in the forefront of their mind, and they're aware and humble enough to admit that there are some things that they may not understand in terms of the cultural context. And due to the fact that they do not understand it, hopefully not mock it in response.

[truthem]

How I immerse myself in Korean and Spanish

한국어 (Korean)

I think I’m doing so good in Korean because I’m constantly watching things in Korean and exposing myself to the language.

1. K-pop

I’m such a big K-pop fan and it really helps my learning process. If I didn’t enjoy K-pop I don’t think Id be able to comprehend half of what I can today.

I watch a lot of “vlogs” from my favorite idols. (My fav to watch are LE SSERAFIM’s vlogs, they’re just really easy for me to understand and entertaining at the same time).

ATEEZ is always doing something and they’re my ult group so I’m just constantly watching them. Recently though I haven’t been watching their stuff so I have a lot to catch up on 😅

The music makes no sense to me because obviously song lyrics aren’t written in conversational everyday Korean so I don’t even really count that as listening comprehension. Every now and then I’ll catch a word I know and get shocked though 🙏

I used to watch V-lives or whatever they’re called now a lot but I can’t focus for that long anymore. (박성화 has the best lego lives)

2. K-Dramas

I don’t watch as many dramas as some people but I feel like they’ve definitely helped me get used to listening to Korean.

I try not to take any phrases or vocab from dramas because it’s a drama… and they’re dramatic 😭

I started watching Business Proposal like a month ago but I got distracted with exams and I stopped watching it with 2 episodes left… (SPOILERS: istg if 하리 and 태무 don’t stay together I’m giving up on everything)

3. Korean Cartoons

I LOVE Learn Korean with Jadoo. I barely understand any of it but it’s helped me a lot with understanding how certain grammar points are used and how certain words are used.

I also like watching Peppa Pig in Korean because the episodes are short and sweet and they’re relatively easy to understand.

I used to watch We Bare Bears in Korean but I watched like every episode they had on YouTube so now I’m rewatching in Spanish. (I genuinely love We Bare Bears, it’s always been the best cartoon out there)

4. Korean News

I like to read a lot of Korean news to help with pronunciation and reading comprehension. It also allows me to find some more specific vocabulary that I would use in describing what I do, what I like, and what I want to do in my future because I can find real stories that are specific to my interests.

5. ASMR

Soy ASMR and Seonghwas ASMR videos have been single-handedly holding my life up. Judy ASMR is also a really good creator. I like to watch like roleplay ASMR like “friend does your makeup for a party” or whatever because it exposes me to more casual vocabulary.

Español (Spanish)

1. Classes

I do take Spanish classes at school so I get over and hour of Spanish immersion in while at school everyday. We mainly use Spanish in the classroom.

2. Spanish Documentaries

I’m a bit more advanced in Spanish than I am in Korean so I prefer to watch Documentaries as to cartoons.

Documentaries also interest me more than cartoons in some aspects like learning more about different latin cultures, hearing different accents and dialects, and learning about how other people live.

3. Cartoons

I only really watch We Bare Bears in Spanish because I just like the show, but sometimes Spanish feels like a chore to me or like I’m just learning it to pass a class at this point, so cartoons are a good way to just casually comprehend the language.

4. Spanish News

I found this really good Spanish news for kids website and it’s so incredibly helpful. I’m in the process of making a “Spanish Resources” blog post like I did with Korean so I’ll definitely link that there.

I read the articles out loud to help get more comfortable with speaking, reading and my pronunciation.

They also have a podcast that’s just like a read aloud of the article so after I read the article, I go and listen to the podcast.

The topics are really interesting, too. Like one of them was about this lady bringing her pet pig to the airport to help calm people down??? I wanna go pet a pig wdym????

6. Spanish music

There are no words in the English language to express how much I love Spanish music.

It’s literally just so beautiful.

In class we have broken down various songs, so I can understand music very easily unlike in Korean even if I have to think about the lyrics for a bit.

7. Spanish YouTube videos/ASMR

I watch a lot of “un día en mi vida” type videos and I love ASMR so I watch a lot of those. 🙏

[kalpeavaris]

FAQ & Info Post

Some Information upfront

(just something quick to link in my pinned post)

Something I gotta mention upfront is that I’m a blind artist. Please do not send me asks/DMs in different fonts or e.g "l33k speech", I can't read these. I take some time to respond, dw, you're not being ignored! Sometimes I just get overwhelmed writing.

Also, my blog’s a safe space for queer and disabled folks as well as mental health topics. I don’t tolerate any ableism or queerphobia on this blog nor do I wish to discuss that. I don't take myself too serious on the internet & am mostly just here to share stuff that makes me giggle like a hyena on adderall. B)

I speak both English & German, so feel free to use these languages with me! My English is better though (despite being german lmao)

FAQ below the cut!

Do you take requests/commissions/art trades?

I don’t do commissions (anymore), but I am open for art trades if I pop off with someone’s art & OCs. c: Usually for Art Trades I'm not thaaat picky about "quality"/"artist level", I just go off of vibes.

If you're interested in like an Art Trade or Collab just shoot me a DM and I'll see how my schedule's going. Can't promise to accept everyone, though. Sorry!

I do draw random fanart for other people from time to time if I'm in da mood so I don't get burned out on my own stuff. BD

Can I DM you?

I mean I can't stop ya- if we’re mutuals go for it! I usually check all my messages, but it might take a second or two for me to respond. ;;

Can I send you asks?

Sure! I love recieving asks and answering them if I can from both non-mutuals and mutuals. c:

Can I draw your design/oc?

Omg ya! I love fanart! Doesnt matter if its for AU re-designs, own designs (like my personal Drone!Tessa or own characters). Do tag me in it if you wanna, idm tags!

Can I use your AU redesign for my AU/story/etc.?

Generally speaking I dont mind. Most of my redesigns are fairly minor in the way I change them up.

The only two designs I dont really feel comfortable with being included in other stories are my Drone!Tessa and Cyn Synemy redesign. Fanart absolutely, but I feel uncomfy with them being used in third party medias as seperate entities.

Is your blog 18+?

Uh tough one. I do not draw (and will never draw) nsfw content on this blog. a) Because I do know minors follow me and b) I'm just not… vibing with nsfw lol (esp not with MD).

But generally speaking I do sometimes mention slighty “suggestive” things, but the farthest I go are either punchlines for my shitposts or like… people kissing before marriage. And affectionative biting. lol.

I do post about mental health topics and stuff like trauma, I usually put TWs on these posts so you may block them if you want to (e.g “tw: death, tw: abuse” etc.)

Still, if youre below 18 and wanna soley follow that’s totally gucci, I just ask of you not to DM me if you’re below the age of 21 (asks are fine!)

Are there DNIs?

Im generally chill with most things. Only things that’ll land you on my blocklist immediately are suggestive/nsfw messages, asks or comments or if you send me like really vile shit.

Also please do not sent me asks/DMs with links to other websites, I generally do not trust those.

[gemsstudy]

So I am learning Korean as well, I am able to read and write...I understand the Hangul chart fully I mean and I have studied most of the grammar as well...and I am a bit confused on how I should move forward...Do you have any Ideas? Since you are a b1 in Korean...hehe

first i wanna say my b1 level is self-assessed. i mean, i feel pretty confident about this assesment, but i havent taken an official test or the topik yet.

i feel like moving between levels is the hardest part tbh...i felt like i hit a wall when transitioning to intermediate..but what i found helped me the most was really figuring out where i was lacking and working on that. just doing random lessons isn't helpful and i think you really need to structure your learning in a way that's super personal to you.

-for me, i know listening and speaking are my hardest areas..so i put a lot of focus on listening by listening to podcasts and watching youtube videos about things i like (makeup, skincare, kpop content with my fav groups) and use active listening..i usually watch these videos more than once too, one time without eng subs and then with to gage my initial understanding. i also take note of new vocab or grammar points. make sure with content like this though that it's just above your level. listening to things where you don't understand literally anything is not helpful. you need to be able to get the jist of what is going on even if you don't understand every single word/grammar.

-i also do tutoring once a week (sometimes twice if i have the time. i use the website preply) and we focus on my speaking and comphrension. she gives me sentence building and dictation hw too. i also ask her for regular assessments and what she thinks i can improve on. i just joined my korean language club at school so that's another way ive been exposing myself to korean and working on my speaking. i alsoooo speak out loud..anything i'd think or say to myself in english, i try to say in korean. not only does it help me get comfortable forming sentences, but it's a good way to pinpoint vocab/grammar i may not know.

-i try to make time each week to write in a diary (i used to post on here but not as often recently lol) and i also read in korean on different news sources. im slowly working my way thru 죽고 싶지만 떡볶이는 먹고 싶어 as well.

i guess tdlr; assess via a tutor, teacher, or just yourself and figure out what areas you're lacking in and build a plan around that. if you feel like you've progressed outside of just relying on textbooks, find other ways to supplement your learning like tutoring, language club, youtube/netflix, etc. exposure/immersion is key.

this was so long im so sorry but i hope this helped!!! you can message me too if you'd like!

[mediocre-eternity]

Sometimes I wonder if I “run cold.” In relation to body temperature, I don’t often feel warm. I naturally have a lower body temperature than humans, but I don’t mean I necessarily feel the opposite of cold. If I am a naturally cold blooded creature, then everything around me should be blazing hot. Though I wear long sleeves, coats, hoodies and robes. I feel as though I need to be warmed most of the time. In the summer, I wear scarves and it’s controversial amongst mortal friends. My whole body is covered most of the time. I crave a warmth from Daniel I can no longer find, but still pretend is there.

Once in a while I heat my body up in the shower, raising the water to temperatures that other of the Kindred find worrisome. And when I step out of the shower, my entire body tingles as the temperature of it rapidly decreases to it’s normal preternatural state. I wonder if this is what the mortal body feels like as it dies. It makes me wonder if my body could even be considered real at this point. Just like time, what is a body if I am no longer a part of it?

That reminds me that there are these ancient batteries that were found. These clay pots that ran an electric current somehow. Historians think that ancient humans would press their hands to them, and they interpreted the electric shock as proof of God.

Jesse told me that.

I haven’t written much, partially because I forgot about this website for a while. But also I was on another reading kick, inspired by a friend of mine. She is also my mortal age. Someone was also selfish with her body. And she is a friend that reminds me that it’s easier to be curious than destructive. We browsed the Barnes and Noble store for hours one night and I bought a book called “Tender is the Flesh.” It was very fun.

When you’re brought to The Blood at an age on the line of child and adult, the natural process is severed and you’re stuck forever as a ghost who misinterprets everything, because no level of adult wisdom or understanding was ever captured. “I don’t get things.” Benji often tells me. Sometimes I see myself so much in Benji. Everything about us is so similar. He knows about these demons I harbor. We often compare the cult to his foster homes. He wants desperately to go to Palestine. I want to take him so badly, as Marius took me to my homeland. A closed circle. And Benji is weeping to be with his people. He doesn’t remember them, as I had not remembered; taken and brought to a foreign place, not knowing the language, not knowing if he were commodified… only remembering the feeling in his body.

I’m sorry Benji, I shouldn’t tell these people so much about your suffering.

Some other experiences from this week:

A human girl in the bodega called me “King.” I laughed out loud. I’ve been called a prince many, many times, but never a king.

Daniel is increasingly going out completely alone, even to feed. Without me. I feel the skeletal grip of death around my heart again but I refuse to believe it’s an attempt to leave me.

An acquaintance told me I speak like I’m writing a screen play. I told him I’m not very good at speaking. He said, no no, you just have a large vocabulary and you want to use every single word…

…making friends with all sorts of different Kindred across New York City has been surreal. Probably the first time since my theatre and meeting Louis have I extended far beyond my current coven.

[sailoryooons]

Hello 🤗🙋🏻‍♀️ I hope it’s okay to ask this, I am asking a few people so no need to answer if you have no desire to. I’ve read alot of writers on both ends today. Some saying that if readers don’t engage they will be driven away. But now some are saying that readers don’t need to interact. I feel torn because I couldn’t help but interact with a few authors but sometimes I don’t know what to say. What do you think?

My short answer: do whatever you want, whenever you want. You're not required to leave feedback, but it's also appreciated if you do. Writers are not required to give you content, and you as a reader, are not required to provide feedback on the content.

My long answer:

Expecting readers who come to this website to read for free to provide you reviews and feedback is hypocritical. So many writers, myself included, have reiterated multiple times that we write for free and we don't owe readers updates, perfection etc. Well, readers are also reading for free, they don't owe us reviews and feedback.

There are people who really rely on feedback which is fine, but at the end of the day, the negative feelings you have regarding the lack of feedback and reviews is an internal problem, and ultimately your problem to overcome. Relying on others to make you feel better about your art is asking a lot of people, especially on a website where most people are strangers.

I also want to point out the fact that a ton of readers on this website don't speak English as their first language and don't feel comfortable leaving reviews. It's sometimes hard when English isn't your first language to confidently tell someone how you feel, especially if you're insecure about coming off wrong or sounding imperfect.

We're also disregarding the fact that there are neurodivergent people on this website too, who do not owe you a reason for why they don't feel comfortable reviewing your work and providing feedback. Everyone is different, but making the people who can't confidently comment on your work feel like they're a problem isn't the answer.

At the end of the day, everyone is allowed to have their own feelings about feedback. vs. silent readers, but when you make public posts telling readers that you want to leave Tumblr because they aren't doing enough for you, I really want you to consider: your writing might be a safe space for someone, and now you're telling the people in that safe space that you have created that they aren't doing enough to be there, or that the safe space is strictly transactional.

As someone who is exhausted from surviving the human condition and who is tired from participating in existing, I think we can stop asking people to perform the way we want them to in every single space of relaxation available to them.

[chanif-art]

Q&A

(1-3; request art questions)

(4-n; personal details)

Artist name: chanif-art / chanif

Born in June 2003

Pronouns : she/her/they/them

What type of yandere I love to draw: obsessive, possessive, protective, needy, manipulative

What I won’t draw: physical harming toward S/O (it’s not my things srry😢)

1. Can I still request the art?

Answer Yes, you can still request the art for free. However, I cannot guarantee the quality nor the art-style. Some might be sketch, line-art, or even full render colour. It would go randomly depending on what I might do on the request.

2. What is the difference between requesting through your ask me anything/inbox and buy me a coffee website?

Answer First of all, via ask me anything is free but cannot guarantee that I would pick your request nor the work would be good quality. However, for buy me a coffee website is not free but can guarantee that I am going to draw that request and the quality is going to be the best( noted that it’s also depend what’s add-ons you choose since the default premium request is sketch line art)

Here’s the table, just in case that I’m not clearly explained

3. What fandoms do you draw?

Answer A LOT, but you can see on the ArtMasterlist I add some fandom that I would like to draw already. Moreover, I might add new fandom in the future and the ArtMasterlist will be updated accordingly.

4. What time zone do you live?

Answer GMT+7 Thailand. However, in September 2023 I am going to study in UK so it is going to be GMT+0.

5. What program do you use?

Answer Mostly, Clip Studio Paint PRO and sometime Procreate. Still, I’m more often use with CSP.

6. Are you an full-time artist?

Answer Unfortunately, no :( I am a mere university student who and just love yandere genre. Therefore, I start this blog to draw to satisfy myself first but when I know that people adore my art I feel so blessed and thankful 💖 So thank you everyone for every love and encouragement that keep me drawing;)

7. Do you write a story?

Answer Unfortunately my English is not strong enough, so no. Nevertheless, if I have an idea that I want anyone to continue, I might write a synopsis. Feel free to continue, also pls tag me as well :)

8. What language do you speak?

Answer Thai as a native language and English as a second language. Yet, I am still not good at English. There will be some slang or words I might not know but I will try to my best to understand. <ily urbandictionary <3>

9. Why sometime you ghost for so long?

Answer As I mentioned earlier, I am not a full-time artist. I am a university student who enjoys drawing yandere. Therefore, if I disappear for a week or even a month it may from these two reasons; 1. I got coursework for my module 2. I have an art-block. For any reason, I apologise in advance if I do not update nor inform what is up with me. However, I will try my best to notify first :-)

[businesstiramisu]

Hi! How are you? Your ask box is open again! Would you like to see cats? What is the difference between Ayin and Tsaddik? How did you make the Dreamwidth captcha thing? It looks very professional! I got the book "Witch King" by Martha Wells! Unfortunately, it seems that the Murderbot Diaries are colluding against me to prevent me from reading it. Also your tagging system is very great! I love it!

Hello! I don't remember why I closed it, but usually if it's been a while and it's not open it's b/c I forgot indeed *that* I closed it, and you can ask me to open it again (that's what happened here lol).

Ayin vs. Tsaddik (Romanization/spelling varies) -- re: this post

As you can see, they are slightly similar looking letters. I expect no one actually literate in Hebrew would make this mistake (any more than you would mix-up lower-case 'a' and lower-case 'c') but lots of us are not literate in Hebrew. Hence the humor of the mis-spelled mug. My tags were b/c I tend to make a game out of trying to read all foreign-language text I come across, if I've got the time. I'm actually pretty good at sounding out Russian, now, and sometimes also Japanese (I blame all the weebs on here). But I'm absolutely terrible with Hebrew, and part of me feels I ought to be better b/c I have relatives who speak it. (I don't talk to those relatives nearly as much as I read weeb things online, though, so it only make sense). I don't remember for sure but I think with that post I also mixed up Bet with something stupid like Nun or even Resh.

2. Dreamwidth captcha -- re: this post -- INSPECT ELEMENT BAYBEEEE Seriously, it looks professional because it literally just the dreamwidth website with one word added by me. Two clicks and a bit of time poking around CSS you, too, can use this knowledge for evil

3. The Witch King by Martha Wells-- Oh, nice!! I actually read quite a bit of Wells' fantasy catalogue this month, and i've been meaning to write up a post reviewing and comparing them. Wells definitely has some favorite motifs that she keeps returning to (e.g. prominent ruins of past societies) and it would be fun to compare them. I really enjoyed The Witch King, but I will say as one fan of Unsounded to another, I actually really recommend The Fall of Ile-Rien trilogy! I think it has some overlapping setitng and characterization stuff that I think might especially appeal to an Unsounded fan. (TREMAINE. LOVE TREMAINE)

Though you should really keep trying to get Murderbot b/c those are by far her best work IMO (not to say any of her fantasy is bad, just Murderbot is 11/10 for me on so many axes). (How is reality colluding against you, if you don't mind sharing? sounds like a story lol)

4. Tagging -- thank you!! i do it for myself b/c I like to find my old things but glad it's working for you too <3

[rozinaaa]

I'm At The Intersection Of Art And Technology (Mum, Pick Me Up, I'm Scared)

Source: Unknown

Ah yes, the intersection of art and technology, also known as the very thing that has put me into a chokehold ever since COVID was just an inkling, small and ready to pounce on the entire world (basically November 2019) in a way that it would inevitably change and objectively get worse for some reason.

The intersection of art and technology is all well and good, but honestly, I think I've had enough (I've probably had enough of everything at this point, although I think it's because I'm running on like 5 hours of sleep instead of the 10 that I normally get, which basically explains everything), since I've pretty much seen what it does.

Come to think about it, I'm actually working in that area right now in the most conventional way possible by working in a tech team for a tech startup by making the actual software itself look decent and usable, which is a really far cry from all of the things that actually exist within that Intersection, since those tend to break literally all of the design, tech, and accessibility rules ever.

I sometimes wonder how different my life would have been if I never went to that Intersection in the first place, how it would have been if I actually did become an illustrator and a (print) graphic designer, where I'd focus on the real world, as well as focusing on the objects of the real world, without the fear of AI (honestly, it's just ridiculous at this point and I hope this awful trend of creating extremely awful AI art (which is also really super obvious) just dies and everyone goes outside and touches grass again, before going on to create art with their actual hands instead of outsourcing it to some dumb machines) claiming to take over everything ever.

I mean, once AI does everything for us, what are we actually gonna do with our lives?

Are we just gonna sit there with our eyes glued to the screen watching a world of content and other random tidbits fly past us?

To me, that sounds awful and boring, so let's hope we never have to go there.

I wish I could go back in time to 2019 (which is apparently 5 years ago, even though it only seemed like it was just the other day) and tell my 18 year old self to leave websites and web design tf alone (brutalistwebsites.com is where it all started), as well as saying that websites shouldn't really be art pieces or become A Whole Experience with fancy bells and whistles and allllllll the parallax scrolling and fancy special effects, but rather, should just be a place to convey information and for users to do things on them in a straightforward way, just like how the original internet people intended.

When I'm not busy wrangling some fairly straightforward domain pointing thingy which becomes really impossibly hard for some reason on GitHub (which is basically a git (in the slang term, which makes sense) and makes me feel like a git for being an art person messing with things that I shouldn't actually go near, since those are for the people who are good at things like math and science), I get to add a link or two and some smol description of a person/company/entity/illusion released by the government just existing (and probably chilling) at the intersection of art and technology as a little treat to myself, although I wish all of this was the inverse, just so that I wouldn't have to even think about fighting off monsters that exist within servers and speak a language I can barely understand, and so that I could expand the Intersection by dishing out links and nothing else, since the act of dishing out those links is pretty interesting and enjoyable in its own right.

Although the intersection of art and technology is an interesting one, it feels like I've opened Pandora's Box, and now I can't appreciate regular art (as a quick nip (~30 minutes) into Leeds Art Gallery revealed to me last week) or enjoy illustrations at all (thanks stupid AI and stupid dumb people for mindlessly jumping onto silly bandwagons without a second thought, or even a singular thought at all) anymore because I expect it to be fully immersive and fully impressive, with it being so out of this world, although I think it's also because my attention span is pretty much screwed.

What if I was just a plain old regular artist, designer, and illustrator with a plain old regular practice, where I'd focus on creating objects in the real world, and stayed so far away from the intersection of art and technology, to the point where I'd only use technology to just share what I've done, and nothing more?

I think it'd be fairly interesting to see how my life would have turned out if I never (metaphorically) smoked anything, but just continued to obsess over the vintage aesthetic (in general) and focused on traditional ways of creating things.

[ysabroadsk]

I'm currently studying at my local university, and I find myself have this childish desire to explore more, and I have decided I would like to pursue my college at Korea, specifically at the Yonsei University, but I have a lot of questions spiraling in my mind. First, how on earth a person like me even afford studying internationally? Second, how, a person like me, who have zero knowledge with Korean language and not even fluent in English supposed to survive there? Thirdly, I'm not from an affluent family, my family's income is sometimes even short for our basic necessities, and this I don't really feel confident with my background, how can I do it there? Lastly, do I have to feel ashamed of all these challenges I am facing? With the desire to understand things, am I doing the wrong thing? Idk what is happening with my questions seriously

I'm so sorry for the late reply! I didn't think people would actually see this blog haha

I think the first thing to look into would be any scholarships or potential financial aid you could get, either from your country or Yonsei. I'm not super familiar with Yonsei financial things, since I currently pay (reduced) tuition to my home university for my year abroad here, but it's worth checking out their website. I know some people got support from the government/our home university to pay for some things like the flight over and tuition. I also know of some classmates who went to different universities in Korea on exchange that gave them free accommodation so that's definitely worth looking into!

As for not knowing Korea, I wouldn't worry too much about it! There's lots of places with English-speaking workers (or bare minimum enough English to make it through interactions) and I have lots of friends here who don't know any Korean who have been having a pretty fun time still. In fact, most of the time they'll default to speaking English if they can tell you're a foreigner. Most people also take language classes with the university and you would be surprised how much you can learn, even in a single semester! So I don't think there would be too many problems regarding that.

No one will judge you here for your financial background, I think. Everyone comes from so many different places with so many different backgrounds and are just excited to experience life. Honestly, I've found convenience store food a lot cheaper than I expected (but maybe that's just because food prices are kind of insane in the UK these days). I'm not entirely sure what your question is asking but I hope this helps, even a little.

You shouldn't feel ashamed at all! None of this is your fault and doesn't affect how incredible you are as a person and how smart you are/how hard you work. You deserve to experience good things and enjoy your university experience regardless of your background. It's natural to want to explore and chase after the things you enjoy! Don't feel bad for it at all.

I hope this helped! Please feel free to send as many other questions as you want if I completely skipped over things or didn't make sense. I'll try my best to answer everything as best I can :))

[lejaybleu]

the fuck is this blog

wow i'm so glad you asked!

i've spent a longggg ass time on this site (long enough i can't say how long exactly in case you know how to subtract. whoops.) and haven't made a proper intro post for the whole duration. this is it! this is the one. have fun reading this? i guess?

basics

i'm kind of a fandom blog, kinda not? i mostly reblog and don't post original stuff often, but i do occasionally, and that stuff is either just my thoughts or sometimes fandom content. i am part of many, many different fandoms, so if you came here for one thing, expect to see other stuff too! also, i do engage in discourse and post politics. i do understand that some people come here to escape the world we live in, and that is 100% valid, but as an 18 year old american student with not much income to speak of, engaging in civil discourse online is one of the ways i stay politically active since that's accessible to me. if that bothers you, this probably isn't the blog for you!

triggers, tone indicators and nsfw

i'm not going to share my triggers for my own personal safety, and also because they are the kind of thing that get tagged for being fucked up anyways. i am totally willing to tag for triggers myself (i usually use "// [thing]" as a trigger tag, so if you don't have that blocked for the trigger in question, do that!), and usually i remember to tag common triggers. if you have a less common/more general trigger or just one you've seen me not tag for, PLEASE feel free to dm me/send me an ask and i will absolutely start tagging that for you! if you're an existing follower and i post things with your trigger without tagging for it and you'd like me to start tagging, please also feel free to let me know. i'm trying to become better about tagging for triggers and i understand it's important, so just reach out if you have any concerns in that department.

as for tone indicators/tone tags, i sometimes use them and i sometimes don't. if you'd like me to use them more or for specific things, just shoot me a dm or an ask, but know that i am often very forgetful when it comes to tone tags specifically so i can't guarantee anything

i do sometimes reblog nsfw content. i always tag for it- if you have "nsfw"/"// nsfw" blocked you should be all good if that's not stuff you wanna see- but please take this into account before following me and follow at your own discretion. you have been warned

politics

i am a queer radical leftist and a trans-inclusive feminist!! i am primarily a socialist, but anarchocommunism is neat too. i believe all people are people and are deserving of respect, resources they need to live, and resources they need to be happy. i'm pro-choice, pro-bodily autonomy in general for all people (including disabled folks), pro-queer, pro-trans, pro-woman, pro-inclusion and pro-respectful dialogue. i am anti-capitalism, anti-language/label policing, anti-generalization of any group of people, anti-exclusion, anti-racism, anti-sexism, anti-bigotry, and anti-reactionism. i want to be clear i am not anti people- i do my best to respect everyone regardless of their views, but while i respect every individual, i believe i have no obligation to respect every individual's/group's beliefs.

as for the very prominent discourse on tumblr about shipping fictional characters, i think it's really fucking stupid that people feel so strongly about others finding solace in imagining certain fictional characters kissing or fucking or whatever. if you are one of these people: go outside, touch grass, and funnel that anger into issues that actually affect people's real lives (e.g. reproductive rights being taken away, the policing system, the healthcare system... stuff like that.)

also, please be aware these are my views NOW, as of the date on this post. as i've said i've been on this website for a hot minute and my views have shifted and changed over that time period, so if you find something from like 2019 that totally contradicts what i've said here, that is why.

dni

i don't believe in not interacting with people purely based on their beliefs or random characteristics about them (this is a personal thing. i don't think there's anything morally bad about having a dni) if you are capable of having a civil dialogue and respecting me and my identity, i'm happy to have a good faith discussion about pretty much anything, no matter what your views are. that being said, if you are not in fact capable of that, please leave me alone thanks. also if i fall into your dni, do yourself a favor and don't interact with me

fandoms

if it has a * next to it, i used to be into it and am not really now

life is strange

miraculous ladybug*

voltron: legendary defender*

dream smp/new mcyts*

heartstopper

killing eve

young royals

stitchers

shadowhunters*

winx club

andi mack*

glee*

the arcana

detroit: become human

buzzfeed unsolved/watcher

unus annus

the stormlight archives

heathers (the musical)

dear evan hansen (the musical)*

be more chill (the musical)

a lot of broadway and off-broadway musicals to be honest

personal stuff

if you've read my bio, you already know the drill: i'm jay, i'm a bi trans dykeboy, i'm 18 and i'm south asian american. i'm currently a full time university student double majoring in neuroscience and theatre design (feel free to send me asks about either i will go crazy). in my free time i sing, play guitar, write (or stare at blank google docs for hours), and hang out with cats. i don't exactly know what i want to do other than parenting. i have adhd and that makes life sucky sometimes but it's also very much a vital part of who i am (for me personally). otherrr than that, i can't think of anything, but if you wanna know something my asks are always open! i will not share identifying information though for obvious reasons.

so yeah that's me! if there's anything i forgot just let me know. thanks for reading :)

[minimalist-language-learning]

My language learning journey

Hi! I'm Anja, a language learner and manga artist from Germany. This is my first post here, so I think I should start with some information about myself:

I speak: German (native), English

I'm currently learning: Japanese

Paused languages: French, Russian

Other hobbies and interests:

creating manga (you can find my artist accounts here)

reading manga (mainly shonen)

nature

video games (e.g. Assassin‘s Creed Origins / Valhalla, Ghost of Tsushima, Cyberpunk 2077, Control)

reading different kinds of books

history & archaeology (especially ancient egypt)

For those who are interested, here is a summary of my ups and downs as a language learner:

How I improved my English unintentionally

English is not my native language (I'm sure I make mistakes ^^;). I learned the basics at school which means: vocab lists, grammar rules and exercises, listen to English spoken by non-native speakers (teacher and classmates) and only sometimes by native speakers (audio CD). I had no access to novels, websites or other interesting things in English. And I was fine with that. At that time, English was only a subject in school.

After graduating, I became interested in Japanese. I found some german online forums where other learners of Japanese shared their experiences. Unfortunately, most of the users were very narrow-minded. They persisted, that their way of learning is the only "right" way. I never liked black-or-white-thinking and so I left these forums.

I've found a more open-minded forum and some blogs. These were in English, but I came across many different ideas and methods. It was a bit difficult at first because I never read "real" English before. But I concentrated so much on the content, that everything else became secondary. 

At this time, the new episodes of my favorite TV show weren't available in German. So I watched them in English even though I had nearly no experience with listening to native speakers. There were things I couldn't understand, but I didn't care. I was able to watch this show quite comfortably which was all I wanted — reaching a high level in English was not my goal, after all.

Watching my favourite show, reading articles about interesting topics or reading novels in English were never learning activities to me. The purpose was to learn something other than English or to simply enjoy the content. The language was only a tool, not a study object. 

While doing this, I never thought "So many unknown words… I should use Anki to learn them". After learning the basics at school, I just started reading and listening and ignored most of the unknown and unimportant parts. Only when I felt that I really need to know a certain word I looked it up. These texts or videos weren’t study objects. After reading/watching them I moved on. Without realizing it, English became part of my life. 

Today, reading and listening to content in English feels natural to me. There are words I don’t know and I make mistakes, of course, but I'm fine with that.

The learning mindset is actually a learning barrier

In the case of Japanese, I always tried to understand as much as possible, looked up many words, put sentences into Anki and things like that, because many methods recommended that. I thought that otherwise my Japanese won't improve.

Ironically, even after so much hard work and after trying out so many methods and techniques my Japanese was by no means as good as my English.

I was stuck in a "learning mindset" which made it difficult to just enjoy the content as I did with English. I wasn't able to focus on the content. All I saw were unknown words and phrases. It was like a curse.

Don't get me wrong: Good advice is useful, of course! When I come across an interesting approach or tip I try it out to see if it works for me. But my mistake was to believe that I only had to follow someone else's way of learning from A to Z and I would get the same results in the end. It never worked this way.

That's why I encourage everyone not to follow blindly other methods and their creators. There is no right or wrong. Combine whatever works best for you and trust your own intuition. The most important thing is that you enjoy what you are doing.

Combining minimalism with language learning

After worrying so much about language learning, methods and my Japanese, I discovered minimalism and was completely fascinated. 

Generally, minimalists don't keep things that make them feel unhappy, that are no longer useful or causing distraction. It depends on the person, how their minimalist lifestyle looks like. And this is also true for language learning.

This mindset was a great inspiration for my current way of language learning. I only use Anki to review kanji, for example, because this works best for me. But whenever I use it for vocabulary/sentences, it feels so meaningless to me compared to reading a good book. I can't use Anki for vocabulary longer than a few weeks, but I feel always relaxed when I read a book in Japanese.

That's why I decided to just look up certain words, write them down and move on. Maybe other methods are more efficient, but I prefer learning words in their natural context. This is what I enjoy the most.

How my Japanese improved (finally)

For a long time, I felt like I hit a wall. My Japanese didn’t seem to improve. Then I focused on extensive reading and read several books in Japanese that were not too difficult at my current level (e.g. volume 1 - 4 of 『ハリー・ポッター』 and 『天気の子』 and other manga and light novels).

This helped me a lot to improve not only my reading speed but also my vocabulary. I had so much fun reading these books that I read between 20 and 40 pages a day (sometimes even a bit more on the weekend).  My listening comprehension stagnated for a long time but thanks to reading it now improves slowly but steady.

The more I understand the more I enjoy listening. Lots of reading helped me to increase my vocabulary and to get to the point at where I can process spoken Japanese much faster than before. 

It feels strange sometimes. For a long time, it was normal to me that I understand not more than single words or very common phrases. Listening felt like a waste of time. Now I can roughly follow the story of some audio books, for example. Even small improvements like this give me a big motivation boost!

Switching to extensive reading had also a positive effect on my self-confidence as a language learner. I’m more aware about what kind of content I need at my current level and choose my reading and listening material accordingly. I will read more and more difficult books to increase my vocabulary and to get used to more complex writing styles. It should be a bit challenging but not overwhelming.

Up to this point, I've read 78 books in Japanese so far. 27 of these were novels, light novels or non-fiction books; the rest were manga. According to 読書メーター, I've read around 18.242 pages in total. 

Now

It took me a long time but today I don't care so much about efficiency and speed anymore. I just want to enjoy what I'm doing. I have still a long way to go, of course. But even though I don't understand everything I enjoy reading in Japanese so much! And I hope to further improve my listening comprehension so that I can comfortably understand audio books and podcasts.

My main activity is still reading books and other content but I also do light grammar study now. In my experience, you don't need to memorize grammar rules but a good foundation is important to understand more complex content and to build correct sentences yourself. That's why I think that grammar is not your enemy but a useful tool.

Lots of text, sorry. ^^; I hope it was interesting to some of you.

Please note that I write about what works for me and share advice based on my own experiences. If you have a different opinion or if you use other methods, that's absolutely fine. Do whatever works for you.

From time to time, I'll write posts about my recent language learning activities and thoughts.

[dakotafinely]

Hi! Offering support after I heard what happened <:3

May I suggest a Rise!Leo x Hispanic!Reader oneshot? Sorry if that's not your thing, just...ever since I saw a headcanon post on it I couldn't get over it! X3

Feel free to ignore! Sorry for the bother...

Is this finally addressed after months of it being in my inbox? Yes, but that's because I'm a procrastinator to the worst degree. And this was sent in right before I closed my inbox (due to stuff that was going on) and I wanted to answer when I finally felt comfortable opening my inbox up again.

And pssssh, I have not done a x Reader in a while! And I certainly don't mind doing one again! I honestly enjoy x Readers, not because I really ship myself with characters- rarely ever if I do -but because I'm a sap who enjoys love! Love is cute, platonic, romantic, family, pets, oiuhghjkjnhj but anyways. I'll stop my rambling and finally get into this. Thank you flounderdoodles! Sorry it took so long to address your ask! It was never a bother and I am grateful you sent it!

== == ==

Leo knew Spanish. Leo LOVED Spanish, he adored the language like he was the one that made it. Though, growing up he was the only who really learned it. Sure, Mikey picked up words and phrases from Leo because of how much Leo used them. And Raph will indulge Leo's practicing of the language the best he can. While Donnie tried to find the best books and websites to learn Spanish growing up for the Red Earred Slider. But they never took time to learn it like Leo did. It was always his own little thing.

He got so used to it being his language and his alone with his family. He never even considered that you, being Hispanic with native speaking parents, would know it. Because despite how clever and witty Leo could be, sometimes he forgot to put two and two together to make four.

And that's what lead to now. To you trying to figure out how to tell Leo you knew what he's been saying to you for the past week. Without freaking him out.

It started with a nickname. Not the most obvious one like mi amor, or even mi querido. No, it started with mi dulce.

At first you thought you were hearing things. That maybe you misheard Leo when he spoke.

"Can you repeat that?" You asked, helping Mikey put away the dishes. Leo looked surprised you even heard him, trying to speak the words under his breath.

"Ah, psh, nothing!" Leo brushed it off, leaving the kitchen after grabbing a water.

So you shook it off. Until you heard it again, clearly, with Leo being a bit bolder about it. After all, he had nicknames in many different forms for his brothers and April. And he liked you, so why shouldn't he give you nickname? You just didn't expect it to be so... sweet. To be called his sweet exactly.

Then came mi girasol, when you came in one day wearing a yellow sweater. And he told you that you looked like his sunflower. You had to excuse yourself to the restroom to get yourself together.

At first you were conflicted about telling him or not. Not because you were opposed to the nicknames, and what they meant in terms of his feelings towards you. In fact it was quite the opposite, you has quite the crush on the turtle. So when this started happening you were ecstatic. But you didn't want him to panic about it. Plus, what if all this time you were wrong about his feelings about you? That these were just supposed to be friendly nicknames, not loving like you had hoped.

Still, you wanted to know. You wanted the truth, to ease your mind. You just hoped that he meant them the way you took them.

You walked into the lair hands shaking. You were so nervous, your mind telling you all the ways this could go wrong as you made your way to the kitchen. Instantly hit with the smell of sweets, it was Mikey. Dancing around to create something wonderful, like he was most days that you visit.

"Hey Mike," you greet, Mikey turning to you with a smile as he puts down the measuring cup he was about to use.

"What's up?" He asks rubbing his hands together to brush off the flour on them. Mikey can't keep still however as he goes to grab a pot, redirecting his train of thought due to your interruption.

"Ah well," you took hesitance, wanting for moment to chicken out and instead ask Mikey what he was making. But you shake your head, no, you hadn't spent so long hyping yourself up for this just to waste it last minute. You clear your throat "where's Leo? I need to talk to him for a sec." to which Mikey looks at you, slightly concerned.

"Oh, I really wouldn't recommend it right now," Mikey says putting the small pot on the stove "he's kinda sulking." he comments facing the stove. Picking the measuring cup up once again to dip it in the bag of sugar he had open.

"Why's he sulking?" You asked concerned. Mikey shrugged "Something April told him, he wouldn't tell the rest of us..." Mikey trailed "maybe you should talk to him actually, you always seem to cheer him up!" Mikey says shooting you another smile over his shoulder. With a knowing wink before focusing on the task at hand. You blush a bit. Of course Mikey knew you had a crush on Leo, he probably knew if Leo had a crush on you too. You and him bonded over being the youngest siblings of your respective households. And that meant bonding over almost always knowing the drama going on in the house like a fly on the wall.

You make your way to Leo's room. Lightly knocking on the curtain that separated his room from the hallway. You hear him groan.

"Raph I said I don't wanna talk about it! Go away!" You hear him shout before shuffling. You clear your throat again, a tight knot finding it's way into your throat.

"It's me actually," you call out. Hearing the comedic noise of Leo falling of his bed and scrambling to the door. A small chuckle escapes you as Leo throws open the curtain. Your worries melting away as you lock eyes with him, the way they always do when you see him.

"Hey," Leo breaths out. Causing you to chuckle.

"I don't leave you that breathless do I?" You joke to ease your nerves. But Leo tenses, usually the banter would be natural for you two. Something the red earred slider adored about you was your wit.

But after what April told him...

She mentioned in passing to him earlier that day that you'd been helping her in Spanish. You taking the class for an easy A. That you had native Spanish speaking parents so you had no issues helping her with her homework. April didn't know about the sappy nicknames. Leo thought no one knew. That it was his little secret he'd rather take to his grave then confess to you to only get rejected.

But instead you knew the whole time. And with that knowledge it only confirmed his fears when you never told him that you knew what he was even saying the whole time. Clearly you must've been playing oblivious because you didn't want to have to reject him right?

Leo wanted you in his life. In any way he could. You were to wonderful to loose. And if that meant giving a proper confession so you could reject him and then continue being friends without making you feel awkward with all his sappy nicknames. Then Leo was willing to make that sacrifice.

"Más de lo que sabes," Leo whispered. Catching you off guard with the softness of his voice. A blush covering your face faster then you could blink. While Leo stood there and looked at you, the love for you welling in his eyes so much you could actually see it this time.

"What?" You can't help but let it out as a breathless laugh. You had it all planned out how you were going to confess, both you knowing Spanish, and your very large crush on Leo. But you're brain completely blanked at his words.

"Me quitas el aliento, más de lo que podrías saber," Leo stated, the nervousness of his confession clear in his stance. Hands clasped together, stiff as a board, the complete opposite of his usual lackadaisical manner. Your breath hitches at his words. Staring at him with wide eyes. Leo lets out a sigh "Eres tan encantadora, tan amable, tan comprensiva e ingeniosa. ¿Cómo no me quitaste el aliento, mi amor?" he asks, making your knees weak.

Your mind blanks completely. Unable to form the words you needed to respond. Reeling, you tried to get yourself together

"April told me you know Spanish..." Leo told you "I know you don't feel the same but, hey! Figured I might as well let it all out in the open!" Leo tried to be light hearted about it. Sending you finger guns. But the stress of waiting your response sat clear on his face. Nonexistent eyebrows pressed together and smile shaky.

"I- just, um, I-" You stumbled over your brain trying to figure out what to say.

"It's fine, really! I already get that you don't like me that way, so, ya know," Leo continued movements awkward and stiff. Despite believing the rejection to come, he didn't want to hear the words. As if that would lessen the blow for him somehow.

"No! No that's not it," You say, your brain finally catching up to you. Leo looking at you with a confused smile. Still shaking with the fear inside him, you gave a calming sigh "I... También me gustas, Leo. Tengo por un tiempo," you confess to him, with a small shrug. Leo gives you a blank stare, brain taking a minute to load what you just said.

"You... you like me too?" He asks in disbelief, the joy coming onto him suddenly. Lighting up like a christmas tree, you can't help but giggle and nod as he picks you up joyfully. Him laughing joyously as he twirls you.

"Leo! Leo put me down you're gonna make me sick!"

"Never! ¡Me amas! ¡Me amas!" Leo cried jumping up and down before listening to you. Setting you down gently. You can't help another giggle and pull him in. Gently kissing him on the cheek. Leo holds his cheek, sighing sappily.

"What's going on here? Why is Leo screaming in another language?" Raph asks, walking in with confusion and concern on his face. You can't help a small blush of embarrassment. You didn't mean to cause a ruckus.

"[Y/n] me ama..." Leo sighs dreamily.

== == ==

I don't speak Spanish, so all of the Spanish parts are done via google translate. If they seem wonky or weird, it's probably because of that. Again thanks for the ask! I hope this was to your satisfaction, I'm kinda rusty on writing X Readers but I enjoyed getting back into it for this ask.

[servalphias]

A Brief Introduction

In the first post on this blog I introduced myself as a Twitter refugee… and nothing else. In truth, I am still active on Twitter, and while I don’t think that site will be going down in the next few days I do feel that the writing's on the wall. Even if Twitter as a service ultimately survives Elon’s madness it will be a very different place, with many worthy folk having scattered to the winds, signing up for this or that replacement.

I have chosen Tumblr.

Now that I am here and happily reblogging (with occasional original posts like this one sprinkled in), I suppose I should explain what I’m about and what to expect on my little corner of the Internet.

I have a variety of interests, but in this space I will mainly be posting and reblogging about three of them: language learning, outer space/space news, and (eventually) learning to draw. Of these three, it’s the language learning that will be of primary focus for me on this website for at least the short term, and I want to take a moment and share some of my ambition on this front.

- Language Learning -

I have recently begun the long, laborious, difficult, and satisfying journey of language learning. I have a list of languages I wish to learn. The two at the top of the list are Chinese (Mandarin) and Hindi.

I started learning Mandarin Chinese toward the end of August (你好。你怎么样？), and while progress has ultimately been slow I am at least making it. I’ve found myself somewhat surprised very early on in that it isn’t meaning or writing the characters I’ve struggled the most with, but tones and making sure I use the right tone when speaking. Right now I’m primarily going through Duolingo lessons and copying their sentences and translations for use in SRS repetition. Sometime down the line I’ll be going through Grammar lessons and trying to find ways to interact with native speakers for feedback - maybe starting with a tutor before anything?

I have not yet started learning Hindi, but I plan to soon. I will start along a similar path as with my Mandarin: Duolingo, then focusing on learning Grammar and eventual practice with other speakers - native, ideally.

Aside from reblogs, right now I think most of my posts on here will be questions. Maybe I’ll have comments on aspects of the language (does Mandarin really not have a general word for “brother” or “sister?”) or other things along those lines.

So, I would like to end this short introduction with some questions. Right now I plan to use two websites to get feedback from native speakers: LangCorrect and italki. The first is a place to post journal-style updates in your target language, then native speakers will offer corrections and advice, with the idea being that you offer corrections and advice to people learning your native tongue. The second is for direct interaction, and while I’m mainly looking at italki for tutors, I’m just happy to get good advice and corrections from any fluent speaker.

So, the questions! Are there other resources I could also be using? Are there alternatives to LangCorrect and italki that are as good or even better? Is the Duolingo bird going to kill me in my sleep? Thank you in advance for any advice you can give me.