#sometimes I can't believe that I made it myself

[prapaiwife]

Pavel's long message on Twitter for his award yesterday! It's worth the read he's so grateful for everything, and everyone is just so happy for him🥺

Today, boy naret prompaopun has done it successfully na my cat army. i never thought, not even a single bit, that i'd get this popular series actor award 🥹 and in addition pitbabe also got series of the year in the same day 😭 all the tiredness from everything we've done is gone now... ytd when i went to the event, i didn't think i'd get the award, tbh i did prepare a speech for the pitbabe award just in case, but my individual award? i really didn't prepare. i've been seeing you all inviting each other to vote all this while, and i've been seeing the numbers every day ... and every candidate was so superb 😨 and the night before the event i saw, and i thought i'd probably not get it already... so i didn't prepare but all of you surprised me alot, the staff told me after that the votes dropped alot :( i can tell you that i was shocked when the mc said my name into the mic .. at that time, there were a lot of emotions in my head, i was happy, excited, proud of all of you, and scared about what to say... Thus, i want to type it out now bc i won't be able to finish saying all of this...

i want to say that i love you alot pavel's kittens, all of you changed me alot, gave me the courage to do things and believe in myself and gave me the courage to love.... i want to thank you all for having my back from the start, some of you even before pitbabe staying with me for over 5 years .... no matter how long has passed, all of you are my top priority in life. very soon it'll be 1st anniversary of pitbabe the series, i wanna tell you all that i'm very happy and i try my best to make everyone happy. i want us to love each other and in times where we have problems arise that make us uncomfortable, i want us to love each other for a long time na. sometimes people will say that i don't care or something like that... but please dont think that way, i love everyone very much and i want to give happiness to everyone ❤️ no matter if you come to find me at events or support me from home, sometimes i can't do everything for everyone cuz there's too many people :( i want everyone to know that i love you na ❤️ all of you probably know right? that i do my best to produce good work for you all, non-stop and without backing out, i'll do it well whilst being happy and not stressed na ❤️ love you na please stay together like this for a long time na i'll be your strong meow dad and sulky mu na my cat army. no matter what the future will be like, i'll focus on doing my best in the present and i won't make my cat army disappointed na ❤️

Like I have said before,

Live,

Develops,

Enjoy.

PitBabe has ended, but the legacy stays.

But the new legacy will be born, soon.

Stay with me till you can. I’ll continue enjoying my life with you all.

Mumma, I fcking made it.

[tossawary]

I read "Star Wars Jedi: The Dark Side", which is the 5-part comic depicting Qui-Gon Jinn and Xanatos's breakup as a Master-Padawan pair, and the art was... fine? It wasn't good. Every time they drew the female Jedi Master Tahl in an overly sexualized pose like she didn't have any internal organs, I wanted to bite someone, but they did some kind of neat things with color / lighting sometimes? Eh. It was competent enough. It worked.

I didn't really like their composition or posing most of the time, because the camera kept swinging around 180 degrees a lot, trucking in and out, which made it hard to keep track of who was where sometimes. Especially when the character design wasn't... uh... great at differentiating between the characters sometimes? I didn't really like any of the character designs in this comic. They could have been way more distinct. It took me a "wait a fucking second" to realize that Qui-Gon was sparring against both Xanatos and Feemor at the start, because the boys looked so, SO similar, with mostly just a palette swap between them. The character faces could also shift a lot from page to page, issue to issue.

Given how Qui-Gon Jinn looks here, if you had taken this character design for Xanatos and told me it was supposed to be Obi-Wan Kenobi, I would have 100% believed you.

Which is disappointing? Xanatos looks way, WAY too much like Obi-Wan or Anakin for me. He's like a fusion. And this is a really boring character design compared to some of the other Jedi character designs in "The Clone Wars". It's also hilarious, because I was browsing some books and honestly thinking to myself just last night: "They have GOT to stop making skinny, white brunette girl protagonists in Star Wars, if only because I can't easily tell them all apart with the way they get drawn most of the time."

What I was ABSOLUTELY NOT expecting: Xanatos's dad looks like a buff Lex Luthor and Xanatos's sister, Nason, looks like SPACE OPERA PRINCESS BARBIE. It cracked me up a little. Look!

So, uh, look, I know that the Telosians characters in the background there are functionally wearing Jedi robes themselves in non-brown colors, but I think that's incredibly boring design again. So, I'm going to imagine that Nason's dressy outfit and hairstyle here is closer to what your average Telosian noble would wear. (Xanatos and Nason's hair colors here could both be natural, but maybe it's fashionable to dye it?) Now that Xanatos has left the Jedi, he's going to need a new fit! A new wardrobe! He can grow his hair out!

I presume that Xanatos is going to be wearing the villainous black robes later on in the "Jedi Apprentice" series, of course! It's classic like the little black dress! But I am nevertheless now not going to be able to shake the image of young Obi-Wan Kenobi being tormented by a Dark Jedi Xanatos, evil overlord of the Offworld Mining corporation, who looks and dresses like Space Opera Princess Barbie. Revenge can be achieved in hot pink.

[p1xiemeat]

since the ppl i was trying to avoid have already found my new blog, there's no point in trying to hide it anymore.

my new blog is @faerymeat 🧚🏻‍♀️🎀🥩

i decided i am going to leave this blog up for all the ppl who like my edits🖤 maybe i will come back to it in the future but for now im really enjoying having a fresh blog🥰

im so sorry if u messaged me asking for my new username and i didnt reply to it.

soo many ppl asked for it which made me so happy because i had no idea how many ppl actually love my content🥺 it makes me feel a lot better knowing i have a lot more kind ppl watching my page than i had thought and i really genuinely appreciate all of you🖤

i also decided to reactivate my twitter too.

i know that no matter what i do or say someone is always gonna criticize me for it.

it doesn't matter how many new pages i make in attempt to hide from the ppl who wont leave me alone, because they always manage to track me down in a matter of days. even when i block them right after creating it -_-

so yeah, there's literally no point in trying to hide from them anymore. and i shouldnt even have to. i've already been lied about, insulted, harassed, and blocked by hundreds of ppl so what difference does it make to just keep posting what makes me happy? im just gonna be myself and let ppl believe what they want.

after the experiences i've had with internet thugs, i am forever going to have some sort of anxiety when i go online. i will always feel unsafe because of them. i have such bad paranoia when choosing whether or not to reply to a message from someone because these ppl have befriended me just to post our private conversations online or to make fun of me behind my back.

but my love and desire to create and express myself outweighs all that. some days i just can't handle being online mentally. and sometimes i wanna hurt myself knowing whats been said about me by people who will never even know me. i've tried to change myself in order to avoid harassment only to be made fun of for different things. i'm damned if i do & damned if i don't.

even though she's just a video game character, this quote by alice inspired me and made me decide to just do whatever makes me happy without letting other ppl stop me. 🖤

its always been 1 of my favorite quotes from the game, but seeing it pop up on my feed earlier helped me make this decision to just say fuck it and be myself, unapologetically 🥰

[draculiza]

it's me and my fav skirt against the world

[mildmayfoxe]

series of meals

[raiiny-bay]

i haven't actually played sims in almost 2 years

[asinglesock]

just realized my fatal flaw and the great struggle of possibly the rest of my life. while watching a cdrama.

[orchideae]

In today's episode of 'Sae, do you (...)': the topic of Ningguang and Yelan, and I thought that I should note my opinion more clearly outside of my rules as it's very important information for my portrayal: I do not ship Ningguang and Yelan romantically.

Honestly, while this is of course my own opinion, I don't find that there's anything to really substantiate a romantic interest between the two. For starters, I don't think that Ning, as interesting of a character as she is with a past that might just be similar in its 'rise' to Yelan's (we're left with very little information on the latter's childhood), ticks the right kind of boxes for her, though to be fair: not many do. Yelan craves a specific sort of thrill in her life, I mean she lives it at the roll of a dice because she is, on some level, bored, and craves the unexpected, the unusual, the 'surprise', and Ningguang's life nor personality seem to play into that. Beyond it, Yelan would need a kinship within this very specific 'loneliness' that I talk about too often and I think that Ning is not one who quite meshes into that in the right way.

Second, despite their long-standing history that even predates their mutual involvement with the Qixing, there seems to be a certain professional distance between the two that I'm quite fond of that is shown in brief event cutscenes, and also Yelan's vision story, that I find inherently intriguing. Perhaps this distance plays more into Yelan's character of not investing too heavily, or rather not too easily, into social dynamics than it does Ning's (I'm not one to weigh in on her character), but it seems evident to me that there's also that semblance of professionalism that creates a line that takes away the possibility of growing closer on an emotional level. And whether that's a mutual decision or not is not up to me to judge, but I think it's one that's made rather clearly from Yelan's side. On top of that, Yelan is Yelan and it's my personal belief that shipping her is rather difficult.

Now I'm also inherently of the opinion (unpopular, I know, I apologize) that dynamics aren't always more interesting when written in romantic settings, and I don't think it's a benefit for all of them to veer into a romantic nature. And in my opinion (and most importantly: in my depiction and understanding of Yelan's character), I think that having Ning and Yelan cross the line from professionalism into something inherently more rooted in romanticism, would be a detriment to their dynamic. Because honestly, I think the fact that Ningguang being one of two people (other being Uncle Tian) to know Yelan best, without ever crossing that line, is too good. I would simply, well, just prefer to keep that not only platonic, but professional, but of course not excluding it of Yelan's quips, and the occasional 'confidant' element.

/rambles in tags because I feel like I have more to say that I shouldn't flood the post with.

[saintvainglorious]

Fics I Enjoyed September-October

10 fics total. Includes fics from the following fandoms: Black Sails, Harry Potter

Away Childish Things by lettered/@letteredlettered Harry Potter | Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy | 154k | Teen & Up

Harry gets de-aged. Malfoy has to help him.

Elective Affinities by Caecelia Harry Potter | Harry Potter/Severus Snape | 86k (WIP) | Mature

It's 1976, and a strange new transfer student is about to turn Severus Snape's life on its head . . .

What We Pretend We Cannot See by gyzym/@gyzym Harry Potter | Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy | 131k | Mature

Seven years out from the war, Harry learns the hard truth of old history: it’s never quite as far behind you as you thought.

where there's a will by aloneintherain/@captainkirkk Harry Potter | Gen | 8k | Teen & Up

Harry writes the first draft of his will when he’s fourteen.

Princes of the New World by x_etoile_x/@etoilesombre Black Sails | James Flint/John Silver | 38k | Explicit

“This is your plan?” Flint sneers, looking at Silver like he’d expected no better. “Hiding below decks like a rat?” “Now Captain, that’s unkind,” Silver pouts, trying to hide his hurt behind teasing reproach. All day he has tried to match Flint, to fight alongside him though he is ill-suited to it, and it has earned him nothing but disdain. Now it’s time to do things his way for a while. “Like a stowaway, at least.” After they have taken the warship and been cast out of the crew, Flint and Silver are forced to contend with each other and the nature of their relationship.

Far From the Tree by aideomai Harry Potter | Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy | 112k | Explicit

The arrival of Harry Potter’s children—snapped back in time, the children themselves guessed, twenty or so years—was the most interesting thing to happen at Hogwarts for years.

Eager for the Sky by oknowkiss/@oknowkiss Harry Potter | Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy | 35k | Mature

It was announced, just as the Triwizard Tournament had been, at the start of term feast. A year-long, international Quidditch varsity match — the inaugural Wizarding Academy Cup. In which Harry is Hogwarts' star Seeker, Draco is on the bench, and they both have a thing or two to learn about playing for the same team.

Like Lightning at Your Fingertips by potterwatch Harry Potter | Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy | 43k | Teen & Up

The problem with living with another insomniac is, eventually, they find out you’re one, too. When Harry and Draco return for their eighth year, they think they’ll see very little of each other. Then McGonagall assigns them to room together. And the castle starts breaking. And there’s that thing with Potter’s magic.

Three's Family by darkbluedark Harry Potter | James Potter/Lily Evans | 19k | Teen & Up

It’s May 1979 and the Order has just apprehended a pair of mysterious wizards who look remarkably like a Potter and a Malfoy. Naturally, James Potter and Sirius Black are called in to identify the strangely familiar strangers and determine their backgrounds and loyalties. (This would be a lot easier if their captives weren’t convinced everyone they talk to is dead. It would also be easier if they didn’t spend half their bloody time bickering.)

The Bolthole by aideomai and Tepre/@tepre Harry Potter | Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy | 54k | Explicit

Harry is a hoarder, Draco is grief-stricken, and both are capable human adults who can definitely spend a month in a cottage in the Cotswolds together without ever talking about the time they slept together in eighth year. Yeah, no, totally.

[featherymainffins]

I think it's a hatecrime against me that there aren't any slugs as big as the giant African snail. Why do the snails get to have all the fun I just want a giant slime noodle.

[beauty-grace-outer-space]

Ok real talk, looking for advice from other DnD’ers... at what point do you just nuke your character?

Rant/more info in tags.

[azurescaled-archived]

Birthday today my dudes

[spoondrifts]

wish there was somewhere i could talk freely about my body image issues without feeling like a waste of space attention seeking lazy fuck

[the-sill-of-all-sills]

I will never be over the fact that I stopped reading Black Butler literally one volume before the backstory got explained, only to pick it up three years later.

[rockbottomwithashovel]

Good news! I have decided I don't have a drinking problem!

[marskid11]

I feel like I can't love to write anymore. and it's even more frusturating that I know why, but I feel like I can't move from it. I put so much pressure on myself to write things that are considered great by my own standards (so like. I like fullmetal alchemist. my brain tells me I have to write stuff as good as fullmetal alchemist in order for me to like it, and that idea in general applies to anything I like.) in general I just feel such intense pressure to make something that will fill the hole of doubt in myself. something that will be great. but what I really want to write is something that I will have fun with! something that- you know what? is probably kind of bad. (by the high standards of trying to write something like show stopping.) I just want to be happy with it again, because every day I find myself thinking of new ideas and having so much fun in the moment, and then I think about how it's not award winning and they become destroyed in my head. I'm just not even sure what I'm chasing with it. I feel like my old stories, ones that I wrote, characters that I made and loved (this was around the age of 12-14, I'm now 20) are like old toys in a box. and I remember them- but it's different in accepting that times change. I know it's not a linear growth of time... I know that I can never feel the same as being a kid- but I know that no matter ones age you can have fun writing and get so so lost in it and have so much fun, and I want that so bad- I just feel like I'm so stuck in my OCD and perfectionist bullshit that I will never be free