#I know I have to believe in myself more!! like I made an OC and storyline in my class this year for an assignment- and I loved it!!

[knarme-art]

You conveniently leave out everything @signfromeywa has already said about her OC having had a white body suit since 2020. With pictures. Those posts are in her profile. You can just go read them again.

You ignore every piece of evidence shown against your claims.

Here you are harassing us behind an anonymous blog.

Ava is based off of @signfromeywa 's real-life appearance.

I could tell you every detail about my Mantikora and how I've fleshed her out so far as a character.

Then we could compare the AUs.

I remember how Simulacra is, and it has detailed and very specific worldbuilding that makes it regognizable and different from @signfromeywa 's AU (that you have not bothered to even ask about).

Psychers in Simulacra have their own defining traits, specifics of their function and lore, - that make them distinct and different from the characters in @signfromeywa 's AU.

Credit where credit is due, - Simulacra is made unique and regognizable by so many more things than a singular design element of "human+" type characters.

So is @signfromeywa 's AU.

If you, for once, bothered to listen.

If I wanted to copy Simulacra, then my character would be... Basically a psycher.

But you can see with your own eyes that it's not.

I can tell you the lore myself if you want. :)

Myself and @space-blue did not get into this before Simulacra AU owners began attacking @signfromeywa without asking any questions, and without believing her when she patiently presented evidence of her character design's roots.

We made own our takes on the "white suit cyborg metahuman" trope to show that behaivior like yours should not have power over anyone.

Also, you fixating on @signfromeywa shipping her self-insert character with Quaritch is utterly bizarre. Oh, she has other ships? So? Have you ever in your life noticed how hot Quaritch is, lmfao?

I have not "erased traces" of my Simulacra times, I post that one recom guy I designed while at it quite often. The one time I made concept art of a psycher, when I was still on Simu. I wasn't happy with the artwork itself so I have probably deleted it, also the character idea ringed too "generic twink dude idk" to me to lol.

..

Let's unpack those "Quaritch embracing Artist's self-insert OC" images:

- Lighting iconic from the Avatar 2009 kissing + love confession scene, popular in any Avatar artwork featuring ships because Soul Trees are associated with the "mating".. type moments

- The white suit cyborg & basing the OC off of the creators' own physical appearance have already been discussed and unpacked earlier. You are free to read those posts yourself.

- The poses are literally just "a couple in embrace", and they are as different as you get with generic loving embraces.

...

What happens when you leave @signfromeywa alone?

Nothing at all.

Simulacra will always be unique.

Because no one is trying to take it. While I am no-contact with Simu owners for personal reasons, I appreciate and respect it for what it is creatively.

I have no desire to replicate psychers or the Simulacra world, as I have my own preferences and ideas, and think copying is honorless and boring as shit.

White suits are to say:

an AU is more than one commonplace sci-fi trope mostly coined by Japanese Cyberpunk media, then inspiring many western medias ad well.

I really want you to know we are not conspiring on "making Simulacra 2.0", - that is stuff you've assumed and then presented as truth to your echo chamber.

@signfromeywa 's AU isn't the same as yours, and isn't even trying to be.

Mine and @space-blue 's OCs for said AU are made in our personal taste for the "cyber spine" seen in Ava.

Ask me about my Mantikora lore and we can just compare!

Statement and realtalk:

I have to adress something open to you, something that is going on on bluesky atm.

It is one of the reasons why my chronic illnes is flairing bad up and noramlly I would not adress this on my blog, this blog is not about drama but I feel forced to do it:

(also I don't want you to harass anyone I mentioned in this post, I just want to view my side before they try to ruin my reputation even more. I want you guys just to know my side.)

I got accused of stealing the design form Ava from other artists, coz she has a white suit on and red curls. I proofed afterwards with a statement that she exsisted LONG before I joined the Avatar fandorm. But they don't stop talking openly about my name in bad manners, dragging my name to the mud. So here is my open statement I posted on bluesky already:

Just want to say: I see you, and I see your bullying behavior towards me. How you speak about me being evil while you call me a copycat and an entitled European. You step on me even though I just PROVED that my OC is not stolen. You never stop, even a person is already on the ground. You are evil. I'm not going to stop drawing a character in a white Lab coat just because these people don't like it. I can only advise you: if you see people publicly trashing other people, keep your distance from them. Don't support bullying. I didn't do anything wrong by having my character wear a white suit in a sci-fi franchise. It's a common trope in sci-fi, just like Ghost in the Cell and Alita: Battle Angel—just examples. Pinterest is full of such examples. So why shouldn't I have a character with a white suit? It's obvious in a sci-fi movie. Why can't my character have red curls to look like me? Is that forbidden now, too? Am I no longer allowed to have red curls?

Ava is a cloned human with a cybernetic spine. She doesn't even have a kuru. She's a test subject and won't have much to do with the suit once she's out of the lab. One of the core aspects of Avatar is the aspect of artificial bodies, so its also not really something only one group of people can claim, as their "IP". I hate to openly discuss this and address it. But I won't let the perpetrators continue to bully me. They'll just continue to show their true color by continuing to publicly drag my name through the mud. I suggest we just leave each other alone from now on. I'm working on my sick note, and she's working on hers. You two should just start behaving like adults again, not like 10-year-old elementary school bullies. My proof that I designed Ava before I joinded the fandom: bsky.app/profile/ritr... Her character sheet with more infors to her origin story outside of the Fandom: bsky.app/profile/ritr... I don't know what else to say, except that I want you to stop, because I'm not going to stop drawing Ava. Just leave me alone to enjoy myself. I've been warned by so many people independently of these people, and I always form my own opinion. But they've clearly shown me that it's true: they systematically exclude people, publicly drag their names through the mud, and bully them. This has to stop. I don't want anything more. And because my name was also publicly dropped, I'm now also publicly speaking out names: It's about the bullies: Celbizarro, kingsevil, hypodriive, mapiezaddy, sabasquatch I could drop more names, but I'll leave it at this point. These people are together on an Avatar AU Discord and are united against one person. It's an echo chamber of bullies, and I want people to understand that. I'm not going anywhere. I'm peaceful and just drawing a red-haired woman in a white suit. Inspired by many sci-fi universes out there. People need to understand that similar concepts that aren't even that original, like a simple white suit in a sci-fi universe, red curls, or a clone in an Avatar universe, don't necessarily mean that anything was stolen. No attempt was ever made to clarify this with me privately or to ask about it. Why do people embrace my idea of ​​painting cloned creatures and humans? Quite simply, because it seems to have been forbidden by a certain group, and you can't forbid something so simple. It's meant to prove a point. side note: I didn't encourage anyone to be inspired by my AU. These are just people who support my idea, and I'm not saying it's unique, but I'm not going around accusing everyone of stealing it either.

here again my screenshots, that I had ava since 2018 and designed her suit 2023:

(If you wonder about my screenshot. I have a German PC I had to translate it with Google lens so everyone can understand. So I added the original and the translated version. Also the created status is newer than the last edited, coz I moved all my files to a new storage. But edited means, when I worked on it the last time in my art program. Last acces is when you view a picture in big.)

I have more old pictures and artworks from her to prove my point. I never ment to steal anything and I never did. It looks similar coz Avas look is a common look in the sci-fi franchies.

Here is also pictures, that shows that I drew white suited characters quite a while already:

Its just a trope I really enjoyed already since ages.

And here my OWN design for an adapter for her cybenetic Spine:

Also more proof how old Ava my OC is already

Even with her new suit already:

The oldest pictures I have from her:

I joyined the Avatar fandom 10 month ago on tumblr and bluesky btw (my bluesky acc is older than that, but I was not active or part if the fandom.)

The thing is, I just want my peace and I want you guys see this before you hear their bully words from somewhere. I want you to know my side. I never wanted to do harm or have a fight. I am a chronic ill person and this blog is my safe space.

I just want to be in peace!

I blocked all these people above and just want them to let me alone. They don't need to like me, but they should stop dragging names from others through dirt. Thats the worst behavior and they call ME evil and I am just trying to defend myself and try to have fun. Nothing more than that.

I hope you are not mad about me, that I shared this openly on my blog this time and I hope its the last time I have to do that. What else can I do more than just proof that my OC Ava is an old OC of mine that I've now turned into an avatar AU to have a little fun with it. Without any ulterior motives, without stealing anything, because I didn't need it, I already had the design finished, yeas ago.

I hope this is enough for me to get some peace and that I finnaly can enjoy the fandom now and they let me do my own thing. I just want to have fun with you guys drawing about my characters and enjoying the fandom. Nothing more.

Thanks to everyone who read this long post till here. I know its silly that I was even presured to adress this childish behavior of these people. Stay save and happy.

Signfromeywa/ -> RiTroxart.

[soapier]

big talk || schlatt

schlatt x f!oc

ted finally tells his friend schlatt about his little sister.

part 001

(old draft from january to keep yall fed til i graduate college)

“bro, do not ever interact with my sister,” ted sighed, resting his head in his hands. schlatt had been on a minutes-long tangent since discovering, after more than five years knowing one another, ted had a little sister.

he’d only said something since he was recording from his parents’ house, in town for our cousin’s wedding.

tucker was making fun of him for not knowing, having become rather familiar with his younger sibling over their nearly two decades of friendship.

“i just can’t believe you never told me!” schlatt was clearly very upset, and to be fair, he kind of had a right to be.

ted sighed, “you know what? fine.”

taking off his headphones, he called out from the other room, “weezy!”

“what?” i yelled back from across the hall, annoyed that he was interrupting my work on the essay i had due at 11:59.

“c’mere!” was all he said. with a sigh, i pushed myself off of my bed and stalked into his childhood bedroom, crossing my arms with an expectant look on my face.

he unplugged his headphones, allowing his friends’ conversation to be heard full blast.

“oh, is that tucker? hi tucker!” i didn’t move from my spot, hearing a distinct second voice in the call.

“who the fuck is that? is that your sister? what the fuck, ted?”

i watched my brother stand from his desk chair, grabbing an old red sox sweatshirt from his bed, and snatching some sunglasses off of a nearby shelf.

“put these on, my friend schlatt wants to meet you.”

i did as told, laughing as i asked why ted was making me go “incognito” to meet the guy he’d been friends with for years.

“because i don’t wanna hear it,” he sighed.

“hear what?” his friend yelled through the screen, “you think i don’t know how to treat a lady?”

things began to click in my mind as i assumed the impromptu disguise.

ted sat back down and gestured for me to join him in front of the camera.

grabbing an old camping chair leaned against his closet door, i set it up beside him before sitting down to face his screen.

“hey ‘weez” tucker said, his smile familiar after all these years.

“hey tucker,” i greeted back with a grin.

the third guy in their call, the one with sideburns and dark eyes, was nearly red in the face at this point.

he leaned into his mic, “your name… is weezy?”

puzzled, i confirmed.

“what the fuck kind of name is that?”

“big talk for a guy who didn’t tell ted his real name for, what was it, two years? its short for louise, moron.”

his voice was gruff, “oh you are just like your brother. worse, even,” his eyes bored into me. “at least i did a face reveal.”

i felt my face grow hot behind the sunglasses, while ted argued back with his friend.

“i made her put them on,” he glanced over at me, positively drowning in the hoodie i was told to don. the height genetics apparently skipped me. “a, she doesn’t want her face online, and b, i don’t need you to be blowing up her dm’s, thank you very much.”

i watched as his friend, schlatt, looked down for a moment before my own phone buzzed.

on my screen, a follow request from his account.

i held it up to my brother giggling as he clearly grew cross.

“schlatt, what did i say? do not, ever, interact with my little sister. and what did you do?”

“well she accepted the request,” if there was anything i liked to do, its fuck with my brother.

ted looked over, betrayed. “weezy, how could you?”

“i have an essay to write,” i shot him a shit-eating grin. “bye, tuck. bye, big guy.”

“she wants it! she wants me to-” was all i heard from ted’s computer before he plugged his headphones back in.

i took off the sunglasses and hoodie, hurling the latter at my brother’s head before leaving the room with a middle finger in his direction.

before i could resume working on my essay, i get two quick instagram notifications; one, schlatt liking the pictures i’d posted from my cousin’s wedding, the other being a dm that simply read “you should come down to ny with ted tomorrow”

[citrlet]

last night i actually got back into writing after probably a year? of not having any motivation to and it's so exciting but god i'm so rusty akfjdks

[warupiposaru]

Something really funny that's occurred to me is the way Joe talks about Maccie is like she's some catastrophic event that happened to their family "I can't believe she's been here that long." / "Everything's been different since she was born" / "Everything changed." / "She changed everything."

And it's just rlly funny to me. I want to up the dramaticness of his words at some point. And anyway, he's talking to the Samurai/Ronin for the first time and I'm wondering the impression he's getting lmao

Joe is certainly expressive to me, but only when he's given the chance. And I think w Ronin, he just started letting a lot of stuff out bc thus guy is gonna go on his way anyways.. but then he's like wait!!! Actually let me go?? For a little? (Platonic yearning so bad)

Ronin like 》^. "I suppose.. Alright, curious karate man, I'll accompany you a little longer."

Or something I'm messing around UGH

[helenanell]

I’ll Be Seeing You || Dr. Abbott

Dr Jack Abbott x OC - (Functions as an x Reader too)

This is Part Two of - You’re Good

Summary: The shift ends and in the aftermath, it’s once again Dr Abbott who anchors me.

Notes: Minor Spoilers. Angst. Emotional hurt / comfort. (Sort of…in the way these two know how) Yearning. Denial of feelings. Mention of trauma and death.

WC: 2.3k

Tagging some people who interacted with the first part (thank you ❤️): @madsmilfelsen @nyheartbreak @lc-birdie @pear-1206

A hundred and twelve mass casualty patients and there were only six we couldn’t save. Not only. Never only. Each of them was a world— someone’s world.

Those we saved are safe within the hospital walls, in the best hands, one hundred and six that made it to nightfall.

Outside, only a few paces beyond the entrance to The Pitt, I stand on the sidewalk with the six we lost. I hold them with me beneath the stars they didn’t get to see.

I was with one of them when he died. A sixteen year old boy who clutched onto my hand, not as a patient to a doctor, but a terrified kid who’s always believed adults had all the answers. That an adult could save him.

Scrape your knee and run until you’re swept up into the safety of stronger arms. He looked up to me in the same way, but I wasn’t stronger, not in the ways that matter.

My shift has ended, but sirens still sound throughout the city. They’re always ringing, both in the streets and in the darkened network of my mind.

My head drops, chin against my chest and a quiet sob wracks my body. No tears fall. I keep them inside and with nowhere else to go, they run down deep and corrode something at the core of me.

I hear the steady swish that tells me the doors to the ED have expelled someone, but I don’t turn.

Once again, when I am adrift, it is Dr Abbott that finds me.

“First Robbie, now you.”

“He was up on the roof.” I say, not a question.

“He was on the roof.” Abbott affirms, the edges of his words jagged as if he’s torn them out of himself.

“He took your spot.” I say, almost managing to sound teasing.

“That’s exactly what I said.” He answers gruffly. Then, he’s leaning to the side, nudging his shoulder into mine. “Get yourself home, Doctor. Eat. Shower. Sleep.”

Neither of us have looked at the other yet. Well, I suppose I can’t know for sure that he hasn’t glanced at me but…I feel like I would know.

He’s never had the consideration to look at me in a way that doesn’t leave a trace.

Fighting off the sense of intimacy that always appears unbidden when I’m with him, I opt for sarcasm that I’m too weakened to make convincing. “You better tell me to brush my teeth too or I might forget.”

He scoffs indignantly. “Joke all you want, but you forgot to eat today.”

There it is. That feeling I get when he’s looking at me. It makes me more than furious with him.

Unfortunately, that anger doesn’t come out when I speak. Instead, I’m wilting beneath his scrutiny. No, not wilting because of him. He’s seeing me and I can no longer pretend to myself that I haven’t already wilted. Dead or dying, or at least feeling like part of me is.

“No, I ate—“ I cut myself off, realising the truth of it and the ache of absence in my stomach.

Shit. He’s right. The bastard wasn’t even on the whole shift and he knows I didn't eat.

Then, as if he can hear my thoughts, Abbott produces a protein bar from his pocket and holds it out in front of me. They’re not in the break room, so I know he must have brought it in. It’s also the only protein bar I like. All of others taste like sand.

I also know, that he doesn't eat these, always turns his nose up, says it tastes like soap. But he brought it. He made the conscious effort to grab one as he rushed to help with an emergency.

My throat tightens as I reach out and force myself not to snatch it out of his hand. He releases it into my shaky grip, hand hovering for a second before he drops it.

I feel like I owe him now. I hate it, so I pay him back by meeting his eye with as little ire as possible. I can’t examine why his consideration burns in a way his apathy cannot and never has.

He holds my gaze, quietly, kindly. Not reacting or uttering a word. Letting me test myself.

I break eye contact and shove the protein bar in my hoodie pocket. When I’m back to staring at the street, he seems to feel he can speak to me again.

“Six years and you’re still not taking care of yourself,” he says, “Patients suffer if you’re not operating at a hundred percent.”

I sigh, releasing a grieved breath and yet all of the hurt of the day remains lodged within.

“Okay, Abbott, I’m exhausted and so are you, could you save the lecture for another time?”

I feel him shake his head. “Can’t do that.”

“Why?” I say tightly.

His next words are so soft it feels like they don’t belong in the place we’re standing in. Doesn’t belong in the night that I know he uses to hide himself away in. He stands in his safe place and releases some real part of himself to me.

“Because I don’t see you,’ he says hoarsely. “I never see you anymore.”

I slowly turn my head to look at him, and he’s already watching me. I falter at the sincerity sitting boldly in his eyes.

I’ve never known what to do when he looks at me like that. I always shrink away, curl into myself defensively.

I do all that I’m capable of in my current state: I throw the sentiment I can’t decipher back in his face, but this time the words are too loaded, too heavy. They land right by my feet again.

“Well, that’s good for me isn’t it? I’ll never hear the lecture.”

A frustrated divot appears between his brows.“For someone so exhausted, you’re putting a lot of effort into fighting me.”

“I am exhausted!” I exclaim. “That’s why I’m fighting you, you fucker, I can’t talk to you when I’m—“

“Sad.” He finishes for me.

He’s right. He’s right again and I want him gone all the more because he’s articulated an emotion in myself that I didn’t even want to say out loud. He used to do that all the time when we were on shift together.

My emotions are something I struggle to offer up, they always come in a closed fist that someone would have to pry open to get to. With everyone else it works, but Abbott doesn’t need to pry, he just looks at me and sees what I’m trying to hide as if I'm wearing it.

He takes from me without touching me. He knows me, without my ever freely giving him anything.

I feel held hostage by his knowing of me, an intimacy he snatched in that very first week of my internship.

“You’re sad,” I throw back at him, furious at being perceived. I’ll hurt him by showing him I see him too. “You- you’ve always been sad. You hold it within you and don’t stop moving so you can ignore the feeling. You work at night so none of it sees the light of day.”

His eyes are the overspill. Seeking, searching for people he can help, a fight to throw himself into because he can’t bear to be stationary. Because it is all he knows and if he does stop, he fears he’d atrophy and never move again.

So maybe sad isn’t the right word, instead it’s a silent devastation that he harbours like a secret. He hasn’t successfully kept the secret from me, but I’ve kept it for him.

Abbott doesn’t react to what I’ve said. Instead, he steps closer, then in front of me. He ducks his head into my field of vision.

“I’m not lecturing you, Doctor,” he says, “I want to know that you will go home, eat and rest.”

“You forgot shower.” I grumble.

Abbott reaches up a hand and scrubs it over his weary face. “You are testing my patience. Six years and that’s not changing anytime soon, huh?”

“It’s a test you are voluntarily taking! You came over to me!”

“You were alone.” He says as if those three words are an acceptable answer. An obvious answer.

“And?” I prod.

It’s his turn to snap. “And- what do mean fucking and? We just went through hell and back! We lean on each other!” He hisses.

Abbott looks wrecked as the words spill out. They’re ragged, almost as if barbed, cutting his way up out of his throat.

“You don’t.” I say frankly. “You never lean on anyone, Jack.”

A sharp intake of breath. Then his head drops defeatedly, a strained admittance coming out of his mouth. “I did. Against my better judgement, I did lean on someone.“

“Did?” I question, curious despite myself. “Why the past tense?”

He lifts his head, his eyes back to searching me for…for what? For more to take? More to know?

What he comes out with, is a body blow. “You should be proud of yourself, for…all that you are.”

The blow has caused a crack, and I’m terrified of what will find its way out. “Hmm, I’ll pass on that.” I snark.

Abbott groans, deep and from his chest. “Christ, you’re a walking headache. Learn to take a compliment.”

“Haven’t you heard, Abbott? Pride comes before a fall.” I say, already trying to fill in that crack with feigned aloofness.

“No, you’re not falling any time soon,” he insists, “listen to Robbie. Be proud. Let your heart break, but don’t think it can’t be put back together. Feel the grief of this day.”

“Put my heart back together so it can break over and over?”

“That’s what this job is. It’s what we choose every day.”

My eyes prickle with unshed tears. “I…I don’t know that I can choose this anymore. This shift…I thought I had a hold of myself, that I could cope with whatever's thrown at me.” My voice breaks and I look to the ED entrance with watery eyes. “I couldn’t cope with this.”

Abbott takes a step, then another. He moves until the distance is closed, he’s looking down at me and we’re toe to toe.

“You did. Coping isn’t a lack of feeling.” He says huskily. “It’s staying on your feet. You’re on your feet. Exhausted and hurting, but standing.”

More tears rise, too much to hold in. They spill. One, then two, roll down my cheeks.

“Fuck.” I hiss, reaching up to furiously wipe them away. “Nope, not doing this in front of you.”

I try to take a step back, to put distance not between our bodies, but to between myself and the weight of his stare, the agony of his knowing. The pain of being perceived by a man who has always felt out of reach.

But, as I try to back away, Abbott’s hands fall on my arms. Not heavily- light, but comforting, like the first layer of snow. But he’s not cold. He’s warm and steady and holding me in place.

“Hey,” he says. I feel his attention sweep my face but all I can do is look down at his shoes. “You absolutely can do this in front of me. Just…stand still for a minute. Breathe.” The last word is a whisper on his own tremulous breath.

His voice trembles not in fear or anger, but I don’t know what it is.

There’s an unsteadiness unfurling in both of us as we stand there together. Something, somehow, blooming in the darkness of the night.

Unsteadiness has my head dropping and I sway forward, into him. My forehead brushes his chest. I don’t let myself lean on him, not fully, because then what will I do when he steps away? Fall?

I can’t let myself lean on him.

Abbott’s thumbs ghost over my skin, almost a soothing back and forth, as if he also knows he can’t press in.

I extricate myself from him as if tearing something asunder. I almost stagger back.

“Goodnight.” I look up at him, his dark eyes shining, more affecting than the starlight above.

He nods. Reluctantly. Resignedly. I can’t know. I don’t know that I want to.

“You take care of yourself.” He says, backing away himself. “Take care and come back.”

“I don’t know if I can.”

“You can and you will. You’re made for this. It’s in your goddamn bones. You’re the light of salvation, doctor.” Abbott says, giving me no room to resist. “And I will see you around.”

It’s not an order, but it’s not a plea either. Just like everything else with him…I have no goddamn clue.

“You never see me, remember?” I say.

Jack actually smiles then. It’s small, but it’s there. It’s painfully tender. Not painful for me, but as if in some way it hurts him. Something hurts him.

“If this job teaches you anything, doctor, it should be that anything and everything can change.” He begins to back away but stops himself. “You know what?…Robbie and I are going for a drink. Come.”

“You told me to go home.”

Abbott rolls his eyes. “Come for a drink. Then go.”

“Why?”

“So that I can see you sooner rather than later.”

Despite myself, I crack smile. “I—“

The ED doors open again and Robbie steps out into the night. He looks between us, eyes sparkling curiously before he focuses on me. With the hand still holding onto the strap of his backpack he lifts and finger and points. “You’re coming for a drink.”

My eyes drift to Jack. “It seems that I am. Good to show my face. Be seen.”

The three of us walk to the nearby benches and crack open a beer with our colleagues. But, I soon realise that more than anyone else, I'm with Abbott.

And I have no idea what to do with that feeling. Worse still, I don’t want the feeling to go away.

Part III - Pushing It Down

[lyiswriting]

OC!Stalker!Landon x Plus size!Reader

More Landon

Landon has readers name tattooed on his vline.

I sat at the tattoo parlor, I couldn't believe I was doing this. I needed this, I needed her on my skin in any way I could. Getting her name didn't hurt, I barely even flinched. Girlfriend? The tattoo artist asks with a smirk. Wife, I take a deep breath as he finishes writing her name. I hated how hard it made me, she did this to me. I branded myself with her name, in her favorite color, and close to my cock that was straining against my jeans.

I needed to get home, I needed to get off. But like clock work there she is getting on the subway. She gives me her usual shy smile as she stands next to me. She's so pretty, she smells so good, and she's so close! I used to hate when the subway got packed but now I wait for it. She doesn't even know me but she has enough trust from seeing me so many times to lean closer to me. God I wish I could just press myself against her, grab her plush hips. Make her feel what the simple touch of her name did to me.

Her smile and small wave as she walks off the subway. I have to grip the pole tightly to not follow her home. I huff as I watch her walk away in that cute work outfit of hers. Maybe just for tonight I can follow her? But just then the subway doors close in my face.

The moment I get to my apartment I'm rushing to my computer room. Rushing to change into some sweats and taking a picture of the tattoo. I need her to see it, girls like that. She likes that, the not too blunt pictures, she doesn't want to see my dick just yet. I spent way too much time choosing a picture, it all needed to be perfect. I sent it to her, got your name where it belongs. I quickly log into my computers, I wait for her reaction. I can't help but palm myself as I eagerly watch her through the cameras.

[fanfictiongirlie]

Twilight: The Human and the Wolf Chapter One

Click here for masterlist

Parings: Paul Lahote x OC (First person, no use of Y/N)

Description: Bella Swan's twin moved to Forks with her sister. Whilst Bella falls for a vampire, her twin falls for a wolf. The story runs parallel to Bella's story in Twilight. But following her twin and her life with the wolves.

Rating: Eventually explicit.

Warnings: Nothing in this chapter.

Chapter One - I Met A Cute Guy

Bella and I were the new kids, it was awful, being the shiny new toys, but we'd survive it. I was Bella's twin, I was younger than her by a few minutes, but sometimes, most of the time I felt like the oldest twin. She made sillier choices than me, but I still loved her for it. Our first day at Forks High School, had been, weird, everyone knew our names, and stared at us, even now, as we were sat in the school café, surrounded by a large group of, I guess our new friends, everyone starred. 

"Who are they?" Bella asked, I followed her eyeline to see a group of people walking into the building. I stared at them as Jessica explained who they were, they made me feel uneasy, they looked...amazing.. perfect even, I felt stress in the depts of my heart as they walked further into the room. I watched Bella's face, she looked incredibly curious, almost like she couldn't stare away. I shook my head softly and moved back to my sandwich. 

"That's Edward Cullen, he's gorgeous of course, but don't waste your time...He doesn't date" Jessica keeps talking, I roll my eyes lightly, these people couldn't be that interesting surely "Apparently none of the girls here are good-looking enough for him" Jessica said the last part like she had personally been rejected from this Edward Cullen. I glance over to the group again, they were pale, and beautiful, but something made me turn away, something deep inside of me.

"Good thing I wouldn't be interested in him" I smirk, still not understanding the excitement over this boy.  

"Oh come on, don't be a buzzkill...Edward Cullen is the best looking boy here" Jessica adds, she was looking at me like she couldn't believe me. I laughed softly at her shocked face. 

"I'm sorry, he's just not my type" I add, rolling my eyes slightly, I looked over to the group again, my eyes staying on Edward Cullen for a second, he was beautiful yes, but really not my type. I liked the blonde boy more.. But not enough to feel giddy inside. 

I watch as Jessica gapes at me, like I had said the most outrageous thing "Not your type? How can you say that, he's dreamy" She sighs happily her eyes on Edward. 

"Not everyone has the same type you know" I say my eyes rolling once more, I couldn't help it, the sarcasm was too strong within me, I turned to Bella to see her still staring at the boy "Bells, what do you think?" 

I watch as my twin hesitates, her eyes shifting between Edward and myself, she looked uncomfortable, which admittedly was normal for Bella. 

"He's....good-looking, I guess" She answers, I eye her up, she was lying. Her words were reluctant, her tone unsure. I shake my head softly not pushing the subject any further, once lunch was over Bella walked to her Biology lesson whilst I walked to my English lesson. I sat with Ben, a boy from the group at lunch, he didn't say much to me, which I was thankful for. 

Once school was done for the day Bella and I walked to our cars, well her truck, my car, I had worked my ass off to get it, and it was my pride and joy, it also meant I didn't have to join Bella and my dad when we first got here, I drove myself, yeah the drive took me a day, but it was fun. 

"Was your day okay?" I asked Bella, I leant against my car and looked at her. Bella nods as she unlocks her car. "It was okay...Biology was kind of weird"

"Weird how?" I ask. I watch as she hesitates for a moment before responding, her expression reflects a hint of bewilderment. 

"Well my partner was" She trails off, her voice becoming quieter as if to avoid any unwanted ears from hearing her next words "Edward Cullen"

"Oh...and how was he weird?" I ask, suddenly feeling overprotected, I looked over to the Cullens in the car park, but Edward wasn't there. Bella glances around, ensuring no lingering eyes or eavesdropping are nearby. She lowers her tone, speaking in a hushed tone. 

"I don't know...It was just strange being paired with him. He barely spoke a word, and his expression looked like he was annoyed by my mere presence, almost like he couldn't stand being around me" She explained. I cocked my head confused, of course Bella would think like this. 

"Aw Bells, he doesn't even know you, I wouldn't worry...I said to Jacob I'd come see him, why don't you come to La Push with me?" I smile softly. A small grateful smile forms on her lips, she looks a little calmer now. 

"No you go ahead, I said to dad I'd have dinner with him at that diner" She explains, I nod and tell her goodbye as she drives off, I climb into my own car and drive out of the wet car park, the rain came down heavy as I drove, I finally reach Billy and Jacob's place, I park my car and get out. 

I hear laughter drifting from the backyard, so I walk around, hoping to find Jacob, I smile when I see him with two other people, I feel a little nervous, but overall I was good with people, the complete opposite to my sister, naturally. We didn't even look alike, Bella looked more like our father, whereas I looked more like our mother, my eyes were blue, Bella's were brown and straight, my hair was darker and curly, like my dad's. 

"Hey Jacob" I smile softly to the boy, he looked so different, I had seen him in passing the day Bella and I arrived in Forks, that was when I promised to come see him. I visited Forks more often than Bella, and with that, I spent more time with Jacob, but each day recently, he looked different...Teenage boys I guess. 

Jacob turns to me, a wide grin spreads onto his face, he tosses the football to one of his friends, the shorter one. Both his friends were grinning at me, their smiles goofy. 

"Hey" Jacob called, running towards me, he hugged me tightly, swinging my feet slightly off the ground, I squealed and held on tightly. 

"Hey, sorry I didn't mean to crash" I say, looking at him as he puts me down, as my eyes flicker to his friends.

"Nah, it's cool, this is Quil and Embry" He says, both boys wave as their name is called. I smile softly to them, feeling a little awkward. I shrug it off. "We're gonna play some ball, you wanna join?"

"Sure" I smile, Jacob smiles in return, his eyes lighting up with enthusiasm. Quil chimes in excitedly, eager for another player apparently. 

"Hell yeah!" He calls. We play with the ball for a few hours, throwing it to one another, kicking it around, we weren't really playing a game, more just trying to keep the ball in our possession. Jacob, Embry and Quil played enthusiastically, their competitive nature fulling their every move. I keep up with them easily, despite the friendly competition, there's a constant stream of laughter and the banter throughout. Time seems to fly by as we lose ourselves into the game. We finally stop when it starts to get dark, I stop playing smiling softly at the boys. 

"I better get going" I say, it was nearly dark. Dad didn't like it when I was out too late, and I still needed to fill up with petrol. The three boys say goodbye, looking disappointed that I had to leave. I pop my head in and say goodbye to Billy and finally I get to my car. I start driving until I find a petrol station in La Push, I fill my car up and then walk to the little shop to pay, as I open the door I bump into someone, I shake my head slightly and look up. 

"I'm so sorry!" I groan slightly, the boy I bumped in too was muscular, and hurt as I bumped into him. I looked at his face properly, taken back slightly, he was...pretty. He seemed to be around my age, he had long-ish hair, and cute doe eyes. 

"No worries" He says casually, his voice smooth and easy as he grins at me. I say sorry again as I walk past him to pay for my petrol, when I walked back outside, I see the boy again, his motorbike was parked next to my car as he washes the window of his bike. 

"Hey again" I smile softly. The boy glances up from his bike to me, a faint smile appears on his face. 

"Hey" He responds, his attention now away from his bike and on me. He leans against his bike, smirking at me. I lean against my car and blush slightly, his eyes racking over me. 

"Sorry again, for earlier" 

The boy shrugs off my apology, he seemed relaxed and nonchalant, unbothered by our earlier encounter. "It's cool, accidents happen" He says with a casual tone, his gaze leaving mine as he looks over my car, his eyes move over my car before moving back to look into my eyes. 

"Nice ride, that yours?" He asks. 

"Yeah, worked my ass off saving up, but yeah, all mine" I say proudly, tapping the car fondly. The boy looked impressed, a hint of respect in his eyes as he looks over my car again, he lets out a low whistle. 

"Impressive, took me forever to get this bike" He says, patting the bike's seat, the black leather gleamed in the night air. 

"Totally worth the pain though..." I say smiling, I introduce myself, telling him my name whilst smiling at him softly. His eyes sparkled as the moon hit them, it made me feel giddy inside. 

"Nice to meet you, I'm Paul" He says in a casual, easy tone. 

"Nice to meet you, Paul" I smile softly "I better get going" 

Paul gives me a small nod, he returns the smile, his gaze lingering over my face for a moment until he spoke again. 

"See you around" He says in a soft, almost wistful tone. There's maybe a sense of reluctant acceptance in his words, as if he wished I would stay a little longer with him. I shook the thoughts from my mind, feeling silly. 

"You too, Paul" I smirk as I climb into my car, feeling the blush creep over my face. I look at him again, leaning on his bike, his arms crossed over his chest as his gaze doesn't stray from me. 

"Later" He says quietly, his voice barely audible over the sound of my engine starting up. As I drove home I felt a little flutter of excitement as I thought about the boy I had just met. The memory of the short but intriguing encounter with Paul remained fresh in my mind. I found myself replying the brief conversation in my head, feeling a mixture of curiosity and intrigue about the brooding, motorbike-riding boy. 

I parked my car outside the house, blocking Bella's truck only slightly, when I walked into the house I saw both Bella and my dad sitting in the living room together, I smiled brightly when I saw them. 

"Hey you two"

They turned to look at me to greet me. My dad smiled warmly and Bella gave me a small, soft smile. 

"Hey kiddo" My dad smiled, I rolled my eyes a little at the nickname "Did you have a good day?"

"I did, thank you" I responded, a small blush creeping over my cheeks again. I cursed myself inside, I blushed way too easily. My dad of course noticed, he always did when I blushed. 

"Someone's looking a little rosy. Had a nice time with Jacob, did you?" He asked, I grimace a little when he thought I was blushing due to Jacob. Jacob definitely fit the 'kid brother' category, he wasn't crush worthy to me. 

"Oh yeah, Jacob...Yeah it was fun, I met his friends; Quil and Embry too" I answered, I had momentarily forgotten I had seen the three boys today, my brain was overcome with Paul until dad mentioned Jacob. My dad chuckled slightly at my answer, I felt a little bubble of anxiety, I really hoped he didn't think I fancied Jacob or something, he would definitely tell Billy and I really didn't need that. 

"Just hanging out with the boys, huh? Nothing else interesting happen today?" He asks. 

"No, nothing" I answer very quickly, I then look over to Bella, who was smirking at the conversation, I used my eyes to motion that I wanted to speak to her upstairs. She quickly realises what I meant and gets up from the couch to follow me upstairs. Once we were out of sight from our dad I grabbed her hand and pulled her quickly upstairs to my room, it was directly opposite hers. 

Once in my room I shut the door and looked at her, the blush coming over my cheeks again. 

"I met the cutest guy" I said quietly, still worried our dad could hear us. Bella looked at me confused at first, but at my mentioning of a boy she suddenly looked excited. 

"A cute guy, huh? Do tell!" She grins, as she gets herself comfortable on my bed. I sit in front of her and grin some more. 

"His name is Paul...He's so cute, we spoke for like five minutes, so granted I don't think it counts as meeting someone, but he's cute" I ramble slightly, Bella listens intently, a mischievous look flashes over her eyes. 

"Hm, a cute guy named Paul...And you're crushing on him already after only five minutes?" She teases, a smirk on her face. 

"Yeah" I giggle softly. 

"Must of been a special five minutes"

"Maybe Bells, he's a cute guy I'll probably never see" I mutter a little sadly. Bella and I chat for a little longer until our dad was finally telling us to go to bed as we had school the next day. We giggled and chatted for longer until finally, we both went to bed. 

(I do not consent my works to be posted anywhere else, by anyone other than myself)

[sunnysidesevenup]

OMG IT HAPPENED??? 300 FOLLOWERS?? I know I’ve been joking about hitting it but I genuinely can’t believe it like: you all like my shenanigans? truly? That’s incredible.

It’s kind of awesome that I hit this on new year’s (for me at least) so let me just take a moment to thank everyone who’s been so cool and supportive. I’ve been having a ton of fun sharing my little projects and interacting with everyone 😭 This is my first time truly engaging in fandom because I’ve been too anxious and depressed previously—I’m so happy I finally started putting myself out there.

ANYWAYS, DONE WITH THE SAPPY STUFF NOW. It’s time for the thing you’re actually here for!! I’ve put a TON of work into it so I really hope people enjoy this silly little event.

Everend’s Cove: Moonlight Song

Every year, Arlo Wake’s hometown holds a Moonlight Festival—in honor of the connection between the moon and the ocean, and the deep ties it has to certain merfolk cultures. This festival is held in many parts of the Coral Sea, but is specifically popular in Everend Cove for its special tradition of holding a singing competition in honor of one of the town’s myths.

As the myth goes, a group of sirens once fell in love with a human boy—so much so that in a selfless act, they saved the boy’s friend from drowning, a young girl whom he was in love with. The competition honors the spirit of love and selflessness, and the nature of the sirens.

Much to Arlo’s horror, his siblings have signed him up for the Moonlight Song competition this year. There’s no way he’s going alone, though. If he has to sing, then he’s forcing some of his classmates to come with him—that way, the attention won’t be fully on him.

Dress Code:

Arlo Wake’s parents are skilled potion masters by trade, and they’ve devised a special, experimental potion this year to turn tourists into merfolk temporarily! It might have a few side effects, but they assure you—any harm the potion causes will be thoroughly compensated!

If you don’t want to risk the potion, there’s always some traditional attire the festival provides. Everend Cove is a joint merfolk and human town, based right around an island, so there’s plenty of things to do both on land and in the sea! The important part of the Moonlight Festival is that you are adorned with sparkling stones and crystals. The more glamorous and mesmerizing the outfit, the better!

For better reference, here are some inspiration boards, and some concept art of possible outfits:

Rules:

it’s not at all necessary to be following me to participate in this event! ANYONE is welcome to join!

Any type of entry is welcome: cards, general art, edits, fics, anything!

It’s not required to use the backgrounds I made, I simply thought it would be fun to draw one ^^

If you don’t want to link your character to my oc, don’t worry about it! It’s not necessary to follow the event story, you can still have fun with the outfits and aesthetic if you want, I don’t mind at all!

If you WOULD like your oc to interact with Arlo, feel free! You have my permission.

You can draw/write for your own character OR a canon character, whatever you want <3 there are “official” participants, but this is all for fun, so it’s not necessary to stick to those.

Please tag me and use #Moonlight Song Competition with your entry so I can properly gush about it ^^

There is NO DEADLINE on this event! Go crazy!

Backgrounds for the SR Cards:

Featured Characters:

SSR Arlo Wake

SR Vil Schoenheit

SR Lilia Vanrouge

R Cater Diamond

-

SR Joseph Akaba

SSR Flori Mohn-Prinz

>>> Flori and Arlo seeing people’s… questionable singing skills.

SR Peony

Blanche, Mattie and Agate

SR AJ

SR Esra Gryfith

Reese & Kiki sketches

Kiki Groovy

SR Otto Walsh

>>> Otto & Esra doodle

SSR Kyra Lovelace

Mariette sketch!!

Rose outfit!

SR Alice | GROOVY

SSR Yuri

SSR Marina

SR Yuuna Schariac

SSR Talus

SSR Amai Sakura

SSR Cadbury Schweetz | GROOVY

SR Emery

SSR Morticia Dame

SR Patricia Catherine

Fic!!!

Yuri and Arlo Fic!!!

Arlo and Yuri Drabble!!! READ THIS ONE TOO IF YOU READ THE ABOVE ONE PLS 🥺 READ BOTH OF THEM

Fic featuring Mouse and Alise!!! READ THESE IM SO SERIOUS RIGHT NOW GUYS.

[frekyaka]

Another (old) oc

I forgot to post these a few days ago but I redrew my first eltingville oc I did like when I first got into the pilot for the first time? (Legit butterflies on billy ballsack..) she was supposedly scrapped because in my opinion I wasn't really feeling her and also because it's quite self indulging to the point I'm cringing on myself so I had to drop her ass, but I like how I did her hair so she's back in business BAAAABYYY

(also boken inglish forgib me 😢)

First design (I was making an introduction thing and gave up halfway)

Lazy redraww (I made her a bad bitch in the wte vers like damn..?? what even is my sexuality anymore 💀)

I guess background info? (I'll make one for Dane, yes I'm looking at you @/indohyusbarf 🫵😋)

warning: very lengthy.. ?? I'm just yapping at this point.. sorry bros.. got too into it.. 😭

Valentine 'Val' Cooper is one of the popular girls in eltingville high or whatever. She's related to Joe (crazy..), and works in Joe's comic book store as a punishment for her rich ahh parents because she was caught in a major scandal and to also learn how the real world operates, be in shes excellent for the job as she casually rips people off 5 times the price, she's a business woman, just like her parents, and uses it in her ability to get more money and shit, (casually steals money from the register). She's perfect for the job but she has a complete intolerance to geeks and nerds (she doesn't know the difference and would not care to even correct herself, as if on purpose), saying that they are the disease and should get rid off in this orb of a planet.

Reasons and her views on geeks or nerds in general??:

She places immense value on social status, popularity, and outward appearances, carrying a deep-seated belief that people should conform to mainstream ideals, often viewing those who stray from the norm (especially geeks and nerds) as socially inept or unworthy of respect, being a 'geek' signifies obsession with niche or unconventional interests that diverge from what they consider acceptable or admirable. Rather than deeply engaging with any subjects outside their comfort zone, she participates only in trends they deem acceptable (within popular culture), she's uncomfortable with the people who get so obsessed (in her opinion to a borderline extent), that this discomfort she feels manifests into having bitchy judgmental attitude toward those who become borderline obsessed with their hobbies, such as video games, comic book fandoms, or technology (typical geeky shittt, like damn girl you hate ppl having fun??)

Working in Joe's shop/having to interact with geeks/nerds:

When confronted with someone who has a deep fascination or obsession, Val's reaction will be overly critical or dismissive, rolling her eyes, interrupt, or change the subject abruptly (are you gonna pay or not? 🙄), believing that engaging in such conversations is a waste of time or even flat out embarrassing. She firmly believes that social interactions should adhere to certain unwritten rules, and those who openly geek out about their interests defy those norms. She finds it very difficult to tolerate long conversations about niche topics that they don't understand or enjoy, perceiving it as self-indulgent and inconsiderate to the person they're talking to. (Neurotypical mindset .. sighs)

Finally, her experience with the gang (the elting shits!!):

Bill - she hates geeks

Josh - she hates fat geeks

Jerry - she hates socially awkward geeks

Pete - she hates .. geeks

I'll make an in-depth of their relationships one day 💀

Dane (oc) - she hates gay people, geeky religious geeks

Her relationship with Dane: (a little snippet of Dane's personality)

They have a sort of rivalry, more on to Dane than Val (She could not care less!! 🤣🤣). Dane hates her guts so much (because in his opinion she's just like the serpent in Adam and Eve),which Val takes it in her advantage to humiliate him if possible.

Back then, Val tried to flirt with Dane when they first met, which Dane pulled the fucking bible and recited bit by bit from the passage

1 Thessalonians 4:3-8..

straight up yapping away, straight up yelling it mostly to himself and Val is just taking it in.. So then the next time they meet, Val is either notoriously bullying him or ignores him, which both infuriates Dane (boy make up your damn mind.)

HYPOCRITE PAST:

In her younger years, she proudly identified as an 'otaku,' immersing herself in the world of Japanese pop culture. She adored reading shoujo manga and watching romance shows. She dives her interest in crossdressing too, typically dressing up as beautiful anime men (ikemen). However, as she transitioned into high school and embraced a more popular persona, her relationship with these interests began to shift.

Her passionate love for anime, manga, and crossdressing that once brought her joy seems to clash with the image she has cultivated as the popular girl (due to her parents influence to her and the school). In her sudden lift in being part of her new social circle, she has distanced herself from anything related to geek culture, adopting a dismissive attitude toward those who continue to embrace it. What was once a source of pride has now transformed into a source of embarrassment, leading her to criticize and even resent those who identify as geeks, nerds, or otakus.

She immerses herself in being part of a clique, classic hookups and drama, she engages her watch of sitcoms,and other mainstream movies and shows within her new social context. Instead of engaging in crossdressing, she now focuses on wearing stylish and sexy bad bitch clothes in typical popular and societal fashion (you go girl YEAAAHHHHHH)

She often looks down on those who continue to immerse themselves in the culture she has left behind, failing to recognize the beauty of the very interests that once brought her happiness.

[cinnamoonblue]

Chapter IX | W.D.Y.W.F.M?

Summary: You moved to one of the biggest cities in the world - Grand Line to pursue filmmaking career. Soon enough your path will cross with the vocalist of upcoming band called “The Neighbourhood”. At first you decided to be just friends - because it would be easier, but sadly as everything in life sometimes by taking the easy path we regret a lot of things.

Main characters: Portgas D Ace x Reader (female)

Supporting characters: Nami, Usopp, Luffy, Zoro, Sanji, Law, Deuce, Shanks, Buggy, Sabo, Eustass Kid, Koala, Robin, Dave (OC)

Description: Modern AU | Musician Ace

WARNINGS: explicit language, mentions of alcohol, mentions of cigarettes/nicotine, mentions of loneliness, angst, mentions of of depression

Word Count: 12,3K

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NOTE: Words are not enough to say how much I appologies for taking two months to upload this mid chapter.... I AM EXTREAMLY SORRY, but now that I will be only focused on THE NBHD, I will be able to post every one to two weeks and you guys will have constant updates like in the beginning when I started the story. I hope that there are still some of you left to follow it. I hope you like this short chapter, next one will be quite long. ENJOY ♡

Wiping the last table of the night a tired sigh left my lips. My whole body ached from the long day in university and then the long shift at work. For the past two months now, I have been taking frequently shift’s at ‘The Red Pirates’, as it kept me and my mind busy from everything that had happened.

“Wanna ride home?” Kid approached me as I went to throw away the rag I have been using to clean the tables.

“Sure.” I replied without looking at him. Washing my hands I looked over my shoulder at him. “Are you done?”

Nodding with his head he grunted. “Just have to change and lock.”

“I’ll wait for you outside.” Grabbing my bag from under the bar I made my way outside.

If I have to describe the last two months with one word it would be – odd. I felt like I was being trapped in a never-ending cycle. There were days where everything was fine, and my mind didn’t think of what had happened between me and a certain someone. But on the days like today, I couldn’t stop the memories of that night coming back to me.

I thought that by now I should have been over it, over him. And partly I was or I wanted to believe so. Maybe it was the fact that he rejected me so cruelly that still brings me back to those memories. Or the fact that I still doubt if he was honest with his words, as his actions didn’t match with them… to some extent.

I have been doing everything in my power to avoid knowing or hearing anything about him. Every time Nami or Usopp would mention something about him or the band I had to become more and more creative with excuses to leave the table and go away or change the subject fast. Nami had asked me multiple times what has happened, but never got an answer from me, because it was pointless. I didn’t want to hear ‘I told you so.’ Nor having to recall aloud the memory of him.

If I didn’t occupy my mind all the time with something I was always going back to him and as funny as it may sound, I still find myself crying to sleep some nights. There were many times where I want to pick up the phone and call him and just ask ‘Why?’. Why it had to be this way? Why a part of me had to still be stuck with him while he was out there acting like a big rock star.

The first two weeks, after the whole fight between us had happened, were hard to remember. The first three days, till this day I couldn’t recall as I spent them in some lucid dream stage. Everything was so clouded in my mind that until the fourth day the rumbling in my stomach was so bad that I had to push myself to get up and eat something, which after three bites I couldn’t no longer eat and less than an hour I threw up. I have never had my heart broken before. My mind, my body and my heart were hurting at the same time, and no medicine had the cure for it as cliché as it might sound. The pain was so hard to handle that most of the days I spent on sleeping pills which weren’t helping much as I was barely being able to sleep as he was haunting me in my dreams as well. It was like no matter what I was taking or trying to do to distract myself I couldn’t escape him.

To my own surprise the person who was slowly but steady pulling me of this hole I have fallen into was Kid. This grumpy punk head man was my only source of light in these dark for me days.

It all happened when one night after we had closed, I told him to go and that I would lock the bar to which he, of course, agreed to. Before I left, I went downstairs and changed to my own clothes instead of the ones I was working with and sat for a second on the couch Shanks had put downstairs in the changing room/storage and pulled out my phone, scrolling on it for a bit.

I had avoided using social media as much as possible and just when I was about to close Instagram, a post from some music updates account appeared on my feed and of course the post was about his band. It was all four of them on the picture, but my eyes focused on him only, as always, as a habit, an awful habit.

My hand which was holding the phone had started to shake as I pressed my other hand to my mouth as a loud sob escaped my lips. Dropping my phone on the couch next to me I bent my legs and pull them closer to me, wrapping my arms around them as I curled into a ball on the couch and cried.

I haven’t seen his face for almost a month, I didn’t even open my camera roll just so I didn’t have to look at the last thing saved in it, and it was the video I had taken of him and the stary kitten when we were out, because I couldn’t bear to look at him. I couldn’t bear to look at him and being reminded of all the things we would never be.

I didn’t know how long it was nor when Kid had come back until I heard his grumpy loud voice.

“What are you doing still doing here? What if someone has come in and steal something.” His presence startled me, and I tried to quickly erase the tears from my face. Kid noticed it and his annoyed and angry look on his face softened a bit. “Hey, brat. You alright?”

“I’m fine.” My voice was low and cold. I didn’t want to speak to anyone, let alone him out of all people. I quickly got up from the sofa and sniffed as I looked away. “What are you doing back here?”

“I forgot something.” Opening his locker, he took whatever he had forgotten and closed it. Embarrassed that he had seen me like this, I didn’t dare to look at him as silence took over the room. What broke the silence was his deep sigh mixed with the grunt of his voice. “Come on, brat. Get your stuffs, I’ll drive you home.”

“Thanks, but no.” Grabbing my back from the locker I closed it and quickly made my way to leave the place.

Going outside, Kid was quick to follow me. “I wasn’t suggesting. I’m driving you whenever you like it or not.” He said as he stood in front of me.

“I said no, Kid.” I grit my teeth as I put the alarm and locked the bar. Turning around I walked away which irritated him.

“Stop actin’ like a spoiled child and just come with me.” Coming after me he grabbed my hand and pulled me back to look at him.

“Kid let me go.” I could feel the tears starting to build in my eyes again, not because he was hurting me or anything like this, but because I just wanted to be left alone.

“You don’t need to tell me shit, just let me drive you home.” I didn’t expect such response from him. His voice was still irritated and his whole face was grumpy as always, but not his eyes.

“Why?” Sniffing one more time I pulled my hand away from his grip and this time he let go of me.

“Because it’s too late and if something happens to you, I don’t want to listen to Shanks nagging.” Pulling his car’s key he nodded to follow him.

I knew that I have a choice and if I continued to insist, he would just give up at some point and leave me alone, but I didn’t have the energy for this.

Getting into the car none of us said anything. This felt like a déjà vu. Last time Kid offered me a ride home was on Halloween after I had left the part where I had my first ever confusing situation with the same man I was currently crying over for. And here was I again. Three months later, same car, same seat, same person causing me distress by their actions of rejection.

Glancing at me, Kid exhaled as he returns his gaze back to the road. “Why are you sad?” I was more than surprised that he was first to break the silence, let alone with a question leading straight to the point.

“What happened with ‘I won’t ask questions’ ?” I mocked his voice. Kid only side-glanced me which made me feel intimidated a bit. “I’m not.” I didn’t want to speak mostly because if I did the tears and the sobs, I was fighting so hard, would win over.

“Bullshit.” He chuckled ironically. I just glanced at him without saying anything and turning my eyes back to the window as I observed the streets outside.

“Wait, where we are going?” I looked back at him as none of these streets lead to mine.

“For a drink. You need one.” He mocked me as he side-eyed me once again.

“What?” I turned my body in a way to face his. “I’m not going out for any drink. Drive me home.” Raising my voice at him, thinking that he would listen was quite fullish of me.

“I will. After we grab a drink.” Parking the car in front of one of the many bars in this town which were open until five in the morning he turned to me as he took off his seatbelt. “Come on, brat. Just one drink. You need it.” Winking at me he got out of the car and waited for me to do the same.

Two beers later I was an open book. Telling him everything from A to Z. The fact that I was barely eating these past three weeks and even drinking water to begin with, I was surprised that I didn’t get drunk by the first beer alone.

“And he kissed me.” Slamming the glass a little bit too hard on the table, some of the beer got splashed around. “Like… he ran all the way down to the first floor, k-kissed me like… like I’ve never been kissed bef-” A hiccup interrupted me mid-way. “Ops, sorry. Anyway, kissed me like I’ve never been before and guess what…” I waited for Kid to say something as my pupils had widen from the alcohol and all the emotions I have had been holding onto. He didn’t say anything as he looked at me with an unreadable face.  “He fucking rejected me. The fucking asshole just looked me in the eyes and told me he felt nothing. He felt nothing.” My voice had raised a bit too much and we got a few looks being shot towards us.

“Maybe lower the voice a bit.” Kid mumbled as he didn’t enjoy the praying eyes on us.

Not paying him any attention I continued with my drunken ramble. “He felt nothing Kid… nothing.” I could feel my eyes watering again. “I went there and pour my heart to him like some fool and what did I get back? Nothing. He didn’t even bother to reject me nicely, no.” Wiping the tear that had fallen from the corner of my eye with the back of my hand my gaze locked with Kid and his very judgemental one. “What?”

“Nothing.” He replied before taking sip of his own beer.

“If I hear one more man answer me with nothing I-… I swear to God I will-” Adding aggravation to my sadness wasn’t want I wanted, but this pissed me off.

“Chill, brat.” Kid rolled his dark maroon eyes at me. “I’m just surprise that you were so… pathetic.”

“Pathetic?” Frowning my brows I looked at him questioningly. What did he mean by this?

“It’s the same guy from Halloween, right?” I never mentioned who the guy was. Looking down at the floor to avoid Kid’s eyes, I nodded. “You said that he is acting like an asshole, if that is the case then you should have just done nothing and wait for him to reach out for you again.” Crossing his muscular arms in front of his chest he smirked at me. “If you’ve given him at least a week now you wouldn’t be here.”

“So, I should’ve let him play me instead?” I didn’t really understand the logic behind Kid’s words of advice if I could call it such. “I did this because I got tired of these games.”

“Games or not you want to tell me that if he comes back now you wouldn’t craw back?”

The question made me freeze for a second. He would never do this. He made it clear; I was nothing to him. I was just some ‘doll’ he liked to play with from time to time when he felt bord.

“He would never.” I whispered.

“Yea, sure.” Kid laughed mockingly, grabbing his beer again and taking a big sip of it.

I wouldn’t craw back to him, no matter what. He had hurt me so much and if I was to forgive him, I wouldn’t be able to handle the pain he had caused me one more time. I was barely handling it now. Adding to the pain and the disrespect was also my self-respect which I was willing to protect or at least whatever was left from it. I have forgiven enough.

“I wouldn’t go back to him Kid. Not this time.”

After this night something between me and Kid changed and it turned out that he was in fact an asshole, but whenever he wanted to, he could also be a nice one. We hang out after work from time to time after that night and surprisingly I have found myself being able to share my pain about certain black haired man with only him, because even if he did judge me, he also listened to me.

It also turned out that when he wanted to, Kid could talk a lot. After he had locked the bar, and he drove me home he was telling me about some girl he had met on Saturday while he was out with his friends.

“Someone has a crush.” I teased him and he just side-eyed me with an irritated frown on his face.

“I do not.” He grunted.

“Oh, come on, Kid.” I chuckled. “When you want to you can be a charm you know.”

Glancing at me he raised one brow. “Oh, is that so?”

“Yeah.” I nodded. “You know I had a little crush on you when I first started working at the bar.” I couldn’t help but laugh as I just confessed that I used to have a thing for him.

“You did?” He turned his head towards me, and I pushed it back as he was driving.

“Eyes on the road.” I said to him. “And yes, I did. But this was like what, three years ago now? Anyway, it was a very short crush, mostly because you acted like an ass to me.”

“Can a person help it? You’re such a brat.” He grunted, but not with his usual bitterness, but very lightly and jokingly.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” I rolled my eyes playfully. The car stopped and we have finally arrived on my street. “Are you free this Saturday?”

“Think so. Why?” Turning his head to face me he gave me a questioning look.

“My friend Sanji is having a birthday party, a very big birthday party, and I was wondering if you want to tag along?”

Nami has bothered me for weeks to go to Sanji’s birthday party. I have been wanting to go but knowing who would be there was stopping me. The whole friend group would be there and as much as I loved them, I also have been avoiding Luffy, and his hundredths attempts, to reach out to me after what had happened two months ago.

“Hell no, brat.”

“Come on, Kid. I need someone to back me up.” I whined as I grabbed his shoulder and shook him.

“The fuck?” He looked at me in disbelief as he pushed my hands away. “I don’t want to hang out with your and the Monkey brat’s friends.” I have always forgotten that he knew Luffy. “And back you up from what?”

“Well, I haven’t really hung out with them recently as I kind of avoid them.” I murmured.

I have stopped going to parties or just causal hang outs with everyone, expect Nami and Usopp from time to time after school. Nami was the only one who has suspected that something had happened, but I have avoided to hang out with only her, afraid that if I do then she would make me speak about it no matter what.

“Why you avoid them?” Kid asked curiously.

I never told him who had broken my heart. He didn’t know that it was Luffy’s older brother who did so. “I’ve avoided them for the past few weeks and in case it is awkward I need some backbone with me there.”

“And you ask me?” The look of his face was priceless. He looked confused, surprised and uncomfortable at the same time.

“Yes, why not?” I was starting to get confused myself, why it was so strange to invite him.

“Why yes?”

“Ha-ha, very funny Kid. You’re so fun and quirky.” Rolling my eyes at him I sighed. “Come on, it will be fun, plus there would be so many people if you don’t want to hang out with me, you can always find somebody else.” I wasn’t sure myself why I insisted on him being there, but I wanted him to come. We have become very close, so it will be nice to go and party.

“Again, if there will be so many people there, why should I be the backbone?” His annoyed grunts made me roll my eyes once more.

“Okay you know what – sorry that I’ve asked in a first place.” Taking off my seatbelt I reached out to open the door, but Kid stopped me as he grabbed me by the arm.

“I’ll think about it, brat.” He let go of my hand and I smiled at him. “Also, is your Romeo going to be there?” My smile immediately disappeared as he mentioned him.

“No.” I swallowed hard. “He shouldn’t he is not close with Sanji.” I opened the door and got out of it, but before I closed it, I turned to Kid and gave him a mischievous smile. “Did you get that girl’s number?” Kid nodded slowly as he knew that I have something in mind. “Tell her to come as well.” I winked at him and shut the door behind me before he could cuss me out.

Last night was the last show of the tenth the band had around the country. At first it was only five shows scheduled, but they sold out so fast that their manager – Marco, had to double book the venues as the demand for the guys was over the roof. When they added the extra night to each city the tickets again got sold out immediately. The guys themselves couldn’t believe how fast their popularity had grown and continued to do so.

On top of it they had released their first single of their upcoming album – Daddy Issues, which was playing everywhere -radio stations, MTV, YouTube, Spotify, TikTok etc. you just named the platform the song was already there, used for an edit or something else. It has even started a trend around social media. It turned into a big hit, maybe even bigger than ‘Sweater Weather’. In between the shows the guys even filmed a music video for it and it has already come out.

But while Deuce, Law and Sabo were enjoying the success of the band, Ace couldn’t say the same. Those two months, since the last time he had seen you have been like a hell for him. Ace never believed in heaven or hell, but he was sure that he has already been living in hell. The only time his mind calms a bit was when he was on stage, but even then, it felt like all the songs he sang were connected to you one way or another.

Everyone around him noticed that he has been carrying some emotional pain for some time now, but he didn’t let anyone close enough to speak with him about it. They all had tried, but they were all met with the same response – “Leave me alone.”

Ace didn’t even bother to spend any time with his friends. If it wasn’t for something related to work the guys didn’t see him at all. Everyone was worried about him.

He was so down since the last time he had seen her, because that night he didn’t only broke her heart, something he would never forgive himself for doing, but he also broke his own. He broke his own heart to a point that nothing really brings him joy. Yes, the shows did, but it was for only what – an hour and a half?

Ace have been regretting what he did since she ran away from him crying that night. He wished he could turn back time and slap himself across the face. To add to his pain, recently he has been living with the thought of – what if…

What if he had told her that the feelings were mutual? What if instead of saying all the hurtful, nasty things that he didn’t mean at all, he had told her exactly what she actually meant to him? What if instead of running after her in the elevator, he had kissed her instead in the middle of his living room? What if instead of causing her all this distress and heartbreak, he had wiped her tears away and just embrace her?  “What if?” This question didn’t leave his mind even for a second.

Laying in the middle of the bed in his hotel room, he just sighed. Ace found himself once again lost in his thoughts for (Y/N). He never stopped thinking about her, and he doubts he ever will. Because of this, he has found himself in a crossroad of a decision – when he got back in Grand Line City to go and beg (Y/N) for forgiveness or continue to live the way he does now. The second one had way more logic and it made much more sense to him than the first one.

She would never forgive him and why would she in the first place? He had literally made a fool out of her and her feelings. He didn’t deserve her forgiveness; he deserved her resentment. But even though he knew what he deserved he couldn’t help but wonder if she could find it within herself to forgive him and maybe with time to give him a second chance so he could make it up to her and her kind heart which he didn’t appreciated enough.

His phone vibrates and he reached with his hand to grab it from the nightstand to see who had texted him.

‘Are you coming? We’re already in.’

It was a text message from Sabo. Yesterday was their last show and after they had finished it, they all have agreed on going out for a drink to celebrate their first successful around the country tour. Even though Ace wasn’t in the mood to go out at all, he didn’t want to argue with the guys, after all none of them put him in the situation he was in and taking his anger on them would be quite unfair.

Sending a quick message back to his brother, Ace let out a deep sigh. It was already ten pm. They had the whole day off as they were to leave tomorrow morning. All he wanted to do was to just sleep like he had been doing it the whole day today. Not like he found any comfort in his sleep nor that he was tired but because even in his dreams she managed to hunt his thoughts.

Getting up from the bed, Ace went to his suitcase and grabbed the first pieces of clothing his eyes landed on.  Unwrapping the towel wrapped around his waist he quickly put the clothes on. Taking glance of himself in the mirror, his hair has grown quite a lot, this was the longest it has ever been, but he didn’t really have the time nor the energy to cut it. Grabbing a pair of sunglasses and putting them on he left the hotel room.

Stepping outside the hotel and on his way to the bar where his friends and their girlfriends were, Ace had to stop a few times as some girls have recognised him when he was passing by them, and they asked him for a quick picture. The idea that he was becoming a recognisable public figure was still something quite new to him and it did sometimes make him uncomfortable, but he couldn’t say “no” to the people who have been supporting him and the band on their way to success.  

Finally, reaching the place where the bar was located, he entered and started looking for his bandmates. The concept of the place was a mixture of piano and cocktail bar, making it quite luxurious. The dim lighting added a touch of warmth and coziness, making the atmosphere quite inviting. Soft music played in the background, creating a relaxing yet vibrant atmosphere.

Greeting all of them once he reached their table, Ace sat down between Deuce and Law on the big round table they had been sitting on. “I’m surprised you choose such calm place.” Taking his glasses off, Ace put them in the middle of his slightly unbuttoned on the chest shirt.

“Don’t you like it?” Koala looked at him with her big light brown eyes pouting a bit. She was the one who had chosen the place and hearing that someone was not pleased by it made her a bit disappointed.

“No, I was joking, Koala.” Ace quickly reassured her as Sabo gave him a warning look. He was in fact messing with them as they usually always go for nightclubs, not calm fancy places, but his brother was sometimes annoyingly protective of his girlfriend and even jokes at times might be taken badly if they happened to make her feel even the slightest bit offended.

A moment later the waitress came to take his order, and Ace just told her to give him something strong and the girl just nodded as she went away. Everyone has gone back to their conversations – Sabo and Law were talking something about the producing of the upcoming album for when they get back to the Grand Line City, Koala and Robin were talking about politics which didn’t surprise anyone as both of them were big human rights activists, and Deuce was speaking with Ace or better said tried to speak with Ace.

“Hey, Ace.” Nudging Ace on the side with his elbow Deuce gave him a questioning look. “Do you even listen to me man?”

Shaking his head and clearing his throat Ace nodded. “Yea, sorry. What were you saying?”

“I was asking how are you?” Ace opened his mouth to answer but Deuce shut him up immediately. “And don’t give me the I’m fine crap. I mean seriously.”

Rolling his eyes at Deuce, Ace ironically chuckled. “I’m fine.”

The waitress came and served Ace the drink he had ordered and thanked her before she went away. Taking a big sip of it he looked back at Deuce, but Koala’s voice made everyone turn to her as she whined. “No Ace, we are supposed to cheer first. Together.” Biting the inside of his cheeks Ace blankly stared at her. Recently she has started to annoy him a bit… a lot.

“Yes, Ace.” Sabo added giving his brother an unpleasant look. “Where are your manners?”

Taking a deep breath in, Ace raised his glass high, looking at Sabo and then the rest of the table, he gave probably the most fake smile he has ever given before as he cheered. “To us guys and many more albums and sold-out avenues.” The sound of the glasses clinking and the cheers from the rest of the table filled the air around the table. Drinking the rest of the drink in one go Ace put the glass down and excused himself and left the table, making everyone wonder if they did something wrong and mostly when his attitude would go back to normal.

“I’ll go after him.” Deuce said as he saw Sabo getting up from his chair to catch up with his brother, which wasn’t the best idea given how much they have been arguing recently. Walking out of the piano bar, Deuce looked around until he spotted Ace walking down the street. He caught up with him fast and grabbed him by his shoulder. “Hey man, wait.”

“Not in the mood Deuce. Go back to the others.” Ace grunted not even bothering to look at his light blue haired friend.

“I’m very aware of that.” Deuce chuckled ironically. “Everyone is.” He murmured to himself, but Ace heard him.

“Then you know I want to be left alone.” Ace continued to walk without glancing at his friend.

“Ace stop this man.” Deuce had enough of this, and he yelled at Ace, making him glance over his shoulder at his friend. “You have been like this for what now? Two months?” He had never seen Ace like this before. Yes, he knew him for a long time, very, very long time, and he was aware of his self-destroying tendencies, but it has never been this bad before. He has been lashing out on people for no reason, barely talking with any member of the band and if he did most of the conversations end up in a fight. He has been acting like a complete asshole, and no one knew the reason why he acted like such. “What has gotten into you? Do you realize how much of an ass you’ve become? And I swear it better not be because of the recent fame we’ve gained because none of us will tolerate your bullshits.”

Ace was too stunned to speak. Deuce was never the type to blow up like this let alone being so frustrated. He was the most collected one of the four, so this behavior that Ace has recently displayed has struck some nerve in the blue haired guy.

“You really think I’m the type to let fame get into my head?” Ace couldn’t believe that Deuce could think of such a thing. “Fame? Really? Off all the things you can possibly think of fame is the one on top of the list?” Ace mockingly laughed in his friend’s face.

“This is our best guess... second best.” Deuce responded and Ace raised his brow at him. What did he mean by ‘second best’? “Look, let’s find some cheap bar, grab a beer and talk? Just us two. Whenever it’s the fame or something else I’ll just listen, man.” Taking a step closer to his friend, Deuce placed his hand on Ace’s shoulder. “You’re clearly not okay. I see it, your brother sees it, Law sees it, we all see it. Just... let me help you at least by listening to whatever bothers your mind so much.”

Deuce expected that Ace would just laugh at his face and tell him to fuck off, but to his surprise Ace agreed. He didn’t have much to lose and the fact that tomorrow they were flying back to Grand Line City was only adding to his stress.  

They walked a bit until they found something quiet and more secretive. Walking in and ordering two beers they sat at the back of the very dark-dimmed old rock bar. Making a silent cheer both took a sip of the beers, but none of them said a word after.

“I fucked up bad.” Ace was the one who broke the silence. Deuce didn’t say a word and he just waited for Ace to continue. “I fucked it up very bad... with (Y/N).” This didn’t surprise his friend at all as this was everyone’s first and best guess which turned out to be the right one. “I don’t think she would ever forgive me nor want to see me.”

Six beers later Ace had poured his heart and soul to Deuce. He had told him everything. From the unofficial ‘date’ to the elevator with the kiss, he had told him about everything with every single detail out there for the story. “And now I don’t know what to do. I don’t deserve her forgiveness, Deuce. I don’t even deserve to share the same air with her to begin with, let alone trying to get her to forgive me.”

Deuce hasn’t said a single word since his friend began telling him what had happened between him and the girl he has fallen hard for, all he did was to listen.

“Is there more to add to the story?” Deuce finally spoke and Ace slightly shook his head. Nodding, Deuce took a sip of his beer before fixing his gaze on his friend, whose head was hanging low, and deeply sighed. “You’re right Ace.”

Ace glanced at his blue-haired friend with a slight arched brow. What was he right about? He didn’t expect Deuce to agree with him, to be honest he thought the quite opposite that his friend would instead encourage him to go after the girl he was desperately in love with and that he hadn’t made such a mess out of himself.

“You don’t deserve forgiveness for what have you done.” Deuce articulated his words deliberately to ensure that his friend would understand and get what he was telling him. “That is why instead of forgiveness maybe you should aim for a new start, a second chance.”

Confusion was written all over Ace’s face. What was his friend telling him by aim for second chance? How could he get one even if she doesn’t forgive him first? Maybe Deuce was more drunk than he looked like.

“Second chance? Do you hear yourself?” Ace was looking at his friend like he had grown a second head.

“What you did Ace is unfixable.” Deuce’s words made Ace’s whole-body ached. He was aware of this and that was why he was in such distress in the first place. “That is why I’m telling you to try start things from the beginning again.”

Running a hand over his face, Ace chuckled ironically. “And how do I do this?”

“Easy.” Deuce mocked his friend. “You find her, you speak to her and instead of begging her like a pussy for forgiveness you tell her to never forgive you nor forget this, but instead to give you the chance start all over again.”

Staring at his friend Ace let a small makeshift laughter escape his lips. “Yea, Deuce. This will definitely be so easy. Cheers.” Rasing their beer bottles the two men shared a toast.

Deuce was hoping that his friend would listen to him and do something to fix the things between him and the girl. He did know (Y/N) but not very well. She was indeed a very kind girl and maybe that was the problem. Deuce knew Ace for years and he wished his friend happiness more than anything but knowing his tendencies he was not surprised how things had turned out. After what he did, (Y/N) would be a fool if she forgave him, but deep-down Deuce has the feeling that if Ace really goes and speaks with her and tells her the same things he has just told him, she would be willing to give him a second chance. Or at least consider to give him a second chance.

“Wouldn’t it hurt more if you never try?” Deuce added and these words slowly nestled in Ace’s mind.

The week rolled fast, and it was already Saturday. I was both relieved and a bit tensed about tonight. Relieved because our debut movies for the year were to start next week and the preproduction and all the preparation for it has taken so much of my energy. The good thing was that after a very long time Nami, Usopp and I were working together in the same team. On top of it we had two weeks to prepare for it and only five days to shoot it, starting from next Monday. It would be quite stressful, but I can’t wait to start as I was asked by the girl who wrote the script to direct it, which surprised me as we weren’t big fans of each other, but I didn’t turn the offer down.

Strangely I wasn’t so tensed nor worried about the debut movie, actually not at all, we had it all under control, but I couldn’t say the same about tonight’s party.

I haven't seen the whole group in a long time, and while I missed them, I also felt anxious. Ignoring Luffy led to ignoring the rest, and I hope they weren't offended. I believe they would understand if they knew the reason behind why I was so reserved in the past two months. Not like they would ever find out why or what happened, but still, the hope mixed with guilt was settled within my gut.

Today I had to wake up extremely early as Usopp and I had to take care of some last-minute things for the film. Thankfully everything went smoothly so it didn’t take much of our time.

On the way back he dropped me to the supermarket close to my place as I had to buy some groceries, but the whole time I felt like someone was watching me. For the past week I have had this weird feeling of being stalked, but every time I turned around there would be no one behind me which gave me the chills to a point where I started to feel a bit paranoid.

Even on the way back home I felt followed, but still every time I turned around there was no one around me. I made sure to get home fast as I wanted to take a quick nap before I got ready for the night.

I haven’t had a party in months. Not like I was very excited about it, but I felt like I needed this. I needed to relax a bit and forget about everything that has happened so far.

I didn’t waste any time when I got home and quickly hopped in the shower and then in bed as I put on an alarm for when I should get up to get ready. Kid had agreed to come to the party with me, but sadly the girl his mind was currently occupied with couldn’t make it as she had to work tonight, but at least he didn’t turn me down.

My alarm rang exactly two hours later, and I got up and slowly started to get ready. I knew that it was a fancy party and on top of it there was a dress code, but I didn’t feel like going over the top tonight, so I just put on a simple little black dress on. My hair and makeup I did as usual again not going over the top as I wasn’t even planning to stay the whole night, at least for now, if the party turned out to be fun, I might stay longer.

By the time I was ready Kid had already come and waited outside for me. Leaving and locking the apartment after me I quickly ran down the stairs.

Getting into the car I greeted Kid with a smile as I put the seat belt on. “You know there is a dress code, right?” I said a bit mockingly as I eyed him and his jeans and T-shirt outfit. His bright red hair was done with gel, and it was facing all directions as aways. His piercings and tattoos all visible and if I didn’t know Kid as much as I have grown to in the past month and so, I would have said that he had put the effort tonight, but I did know him now and that was his everyday outside work aesthetic.

“You’re not as dolled up as usual.” He mocked me.

“Didn’t feel like it to be honest.” I shrugged. “Anyway, we don’t need to stay the whole night if we don’t like the party.”

“Finally, we speak the same language.” Kid exclaimed. I just rolled my eyes and used my secret weapon to make him ease up a bit as I asked about Victoria, the girl he was seeing, and how things were going between them.

Soon we arrived where the party was being held, a big modern-day skyscraper building in the richest part of the city. Its sleek glass façade shimmered under the city lights, reflecting the bustling energy of the metropolis. The entrance was grand, with an expansive lobby adorned in marble and gold accents.

“How rich is your friend again?” Kid bent a bit and whispered in my ear as we stepped into the elevator.

“At this point I’m asking myself the same.” I murmured in awe as we were making our way to the last floor where Sanji’s parents’ penthouse was.

The penthouse apartment itself looked like something from the newest James Bond movie—ultra-modern design with expansive floor-to-ceiling windows that offered a breathtaking panoramic view of the city skyline. The interior featured sleek, minimalist furnishings with a mix of high-end materials such as marble, glass, and polished metal. The open concept living area was filled with guests, their laughter and chatter echoing off the walls.

Kid and I exchanged looks at each other as we stepped out the elevator. “It’s full of people.” I yelled at him over the mixture of loud voices and music.

“I already don’t like it.” He grunted.

Rolling my eyes, I pulled him by the hand to follow me and find Nami and the rest of the group. It didn’t take me long to spot them sitting on a very long white couch by the piano next to the floor-to-celling windows which lead to enormous terrace from which you could see the whole city. Kaya was the first one to spot me and she waved at me.

“Hello, everyone long time no see.” I said once we were standing next to them. They all greeted Kid and me and of course we got some questionable looks which I caught up immediately and I was sure he did as well.

“What are you doing here Jaggy?” Luffy as always went straight to point as he shoot a mixture of questionable and surprised look at Kid.

“Jaggy?” I turned to look at the red-haired man standing next to me confused and ready to make fun of him of the nickname he was given by Luffy.

Grunting at me, Kid rolled his eyes and turned to Luffy. “Don’t call me Jaggy, you monkey head.”

“This doesn’t answer my question... Jaggy.”

Before they had the chance to get each other’s throats I stepped in. “He is my plus one.” I smiled awkwardly as I could see the surprise in everyone’s eyes, even Zoro’s a bit. Realizing that they might have taken it wrong I tried to correct myself, but I was interrupted by Sanji, who showed up behind me and wrapped his arms around my shoulders.

“I can’t believe my eyes.” He pulled away and a big smile was spread across his handsome face.

“Happy Birthday Sanji.” I hugged him properly and he returned the hug.

“Thank you, beautiful.” He replied as we pulled away from each other. He turned to Kid and reached with his hand for a handshake as they had never met before, at least officially. “I hope you enjoy the party and if my brothers bother you, please don’t pay them any attention.” He said to all of us. “They are just... well... if someone asks, I usually don’t say that we are related.”

We all were aware of the relation Sanji has with his family, but at the end of the day he was a very good person and the only reason why he kept on having any kind of relationship with his father and brothers was because of his mother and sister, otherwise Sanji wouldn’t even go by his father’s last name.

“My sister is somewhere here I need to look for her and I’ll be back with you guys.” Sanji said to us before he disappeared into the crowd of people in his living room space.

“What are you two going to drink?” Nami looked at me and Kid.

“What do we have?” I wasn’t sure if I really wanted to drink tonight or not, but one drink wouldn’t hurt.

“Everything.” Zoro replied as he took a sip of his glass and whatever he was drinking.

“Just go to the kitchen, there you’ll find everything.” Usopp pointed me to the left side of the room where I guessed it would be the way to the kitchen.

I nodded and thanked him before turning to Kid. “The usual right?” He nodded in agreement, and I made my way to the kitchen.

This place was enormous and there were so many people around, but from what I knew Sanji and his brothers were quadruplets so I shouldn’t be surprised that we were so many people here tonight.

As I approached the kitchen it was easy to spot the drinks as everything was placed in the middle of the kitchen bar. I didn’t see any beer, so I had to ask if they had any and one girl pointed at the big two door fridge. I thanked her and went to the fridge which when I opened was full from the bottom to the top with all kinds of different drinks. Grabbing two cans of beer, I closed it and made my way back to the group.

Approaching the group, I noticed that three more people had joined us, and my heart fell to my feet. Freezing on the spot my body couldn’t movie and my mind went on fight or flight mode. What was he doing here? Was he even such a close friend with Sanji? Wasn’t he on a tour or whatever?

The enormous penthouse and the space around me started to feel tight. My heart was beathing so fast, but at the same time my whole body felt numb, while my breath was caught in my lungs.

Two months. I haven’t seen him for two months, almost three at this point, why did I have to see him tonight?

Someone bumped into me, and this made me snap out of it. The person turned to apologize, but all I did was hand them the two cans of beer as I ran in search of the bathroom before anyone could see me.

After many wrong opened doors, I finally found it and got inside, closing the door behind me and locking it, I leaned on the door. My heart was beating fast as I was trying to catch my breath.

Trying to calm myself down, I looked at the mirror in front of me in the bathroom. I saw and felt the first tear rolling from the side of my eye. Biting hard on my bottom lip to suppress the sob ready to escape my lips I also wiped the tear away. I couldn’t afford to cry now. I couldn’t let him see me like this and give him the satisfaction of knowing that I haven’t been entirely over him, yet. I couldn’t let him know how much power he holds over me and the way I feel.

I needed to think clearly. I had two options: First one – I text Kid to get out of here and that way I could just go home and forget about tonight or second one – I try to collect myself, I get out of this bathroom and go there and act like I have never ever in my life met this person and that he was a complete stranger.

I couldn’t let myself being so vulnerable and weak in front of him once again. I needed to stand up for myself and show him that life continued without him, and I was doing fine. I needed to show him that he was nothing more than a stranger.

Going to the sink I washed my hands and fixed my makeup a bit. Taking a few deep breaths in I nodded to myself. “You can do this. Just go there, don’t look at him and… just pretend that he doesn’t exist.” I told my reflection in the mirror. “Don’t forget – you two are strangers now.”

The last thing Ace wanted was to go to a party tonight the same night he had been back in town after a month of being away. But with a lot of convincing from Sabo and Koala he agreed to go, but only to wish Sanji a happy birthday and catch up with his little brother and then he was out.

He knew that (Y/N) would be there or at least he was guessing that she would be, after all she was a good friend of Sanji. The fact that there was a big chance that she might be there terrified him. Ace hasn’t gained the courage to face her, at least not now. He wasn’t even sure what he would do or say once they faced each other again.

He had some time to sit and think about his conversation with Deuce and he came to the realization that his friend was right. Asking her for forgiveness would be foolish but asking her for a new clean start might be worth trying, but at the same time it was also ridiculous. How did someone go and ask for a second chance when they have messed up as badly as he did?

The biggest problem was that Ace wasn’t sure how he should approach her. Was he supposed to just text or call her and be like “You want to speak about what happened two months ago?” or he just wait for her somewhere and try to speak with her? What was the best way to approach someone whose heart you have broken? There was no YouTube tutorial, or book, or a movie to watch which would give him the answer to this question.

Maybe he should try gaining some courage and think through what he would say to her first before approaching her? Or should he say whatever he feels like in the moment when they cross paths again?

He didn’t have much time to answer himself any of the thousand questions he had in mind regardless (Y/N), as he was already at the party. Looking around from the moment he had arrived with his brother and his girlfriend, Ace couldn’t spot (Y/N) anywhere, and this brought him both disappointment and relief.

Disappointed because he wanted to see her. He couldn’t deny that he has been missing (Y/N). It was a very strange feeling. He had never missed someone or something before, so it was still hard for his brain to process this feeling of missing, longing for someone.

And he was also feeling relieved as he wasn’t ready to face her. Because what could he do here in front of so many people who had no idea what had happened between them. He knew her quite well at this point to know that she wouldn’t have told anyone anything. Not like he cared if she did, but it was a bit less awkward to know that this was something no one was aware of. One set of eyes less to judge him and his mistakes.

When they joined Luffy and his friends, Ace was surprised to see Kid – the bartender from Shank’s bar tagged along with them. Ace didn’t know him personally, only had seen him in the bar when he had gone with Luffy there, and on top of it the bartender and his little brother had some not so friendly banter going on, so what was he doing here? Could he have come with (Y/N)?

Usopp and Nami were shooting question after the question at Sabo and Ace about how the tour went to which it was mostly Sabo answering and even Koala from time to time, while Ace remained silent.

With his back turned to the group, he meticulously scanned the room in search of (Y/N). However, she was not immediately visible. It was only upon hearing her familiar voice that he realized how much he had missed her, causing his heart to sink.

Your back was facing him as you were handing Kid a new can of beer as you had gone back to the kitchen to grab new beers as the last ones you had given to some complete stranger. A chill ran down your spine. You could feel the set of deep brown eyes on you, and you had to take a quick moment before turning around again and looking at your friends.

Knowing where he was standing you just turned around and looked at everyone but him. You could feel your pulse increasing and your blood rushing like you were about to faint out, but you tried to collect yourself as much as possible.

Faking a smile, you pointed your greeting only at Koala and Sabo, and this didn’t go unnoticed by some of the people around you. It didn’t go unnoticed by Ace as well. This was childish behavior, according to his opinion, but at the same time he deserved it and couldn’t blame you for it, but he was surprised to see how bold your move was. Addressing only his brother and girlfriend, well played.  

It was harder than you expected. You joined the group only two minutes ago, and it was already hard to resist looking at his direction, especially as you could feel him looking at you. Why, why did he have to be here tonight? Why did you have to cross paths again?

Taking a seat between Kid and Kaya on the couch you take a sip of the beer, focusing your eyes on the beer can in your hands. Your body was so tense, your whole mood, the energy around you changed so fast, and Kid noticed it and it didn’t take him long to figure out why that was. Leaning closer to you he whispered in your year. “You must be kidding me?”

Startled by the unexpected closeness of Kid you turned and gave him a weird look.

“What?” You whispered back confused.

“Monkey head’s brother? Really?” Kid’s voice was loud enough to be heard only by you. You didn’t say anything, but the way you slightly lowered your head, and your eyes shifted to the ground was all Kid needed to know that he was a hundred percent right.

Kid could see the distress in your whole body. Sighing he wrapped his hand around your shoulder and pulled you closer to him.

“The fuck you’re doing?” Putting your best fake smile on your face you hissed at him.

“Shut up and listen brat.” He returned the fake smile and winked at you. “You gonna play him as he played you, if you want some kind of revenge.” Kid pulled you even closer to him so he could whisper in your ear. “It’s enough to make him believe that you’ve moved on to make him go crazy.”

“I don’t want to make him go crazy.” I whispered back. “He doesn’t care Kid. We don’t need to do all this, and I don’t want to.”

This was ridiculous in your mind. Ace didn’t care about you at all, and acting like you were ‘taken’ wouldn’t change that fact nor make him jealous. Plus, Ace knew you well enough more or less, he wouldn’t fall for such a cheap trick. You didn’t want this. You were so tired of all the games, especially the one with Ace in it.

“Trust me, brat. He already is.” Kid pulled away from you and smirked. “Just listen to me.” He continued to whisper something in your ear, and you just sighed. You had nothing to lose so at the end you just agreed to play Kid’s little game of ‘are they a thing or not’ for tonight.

Ace’s blood was boiling. He wasn’t sure if this was some game or if it was for real. The moment Kid had placed his hand on your shoulder and pulled you closer, Ace saw the way your body had relaxed under his touch. The way you two got close to each other and whatever disagreement you had for a second it quickly faded away as you leaned your body on the man next to you.

Was it really that easy for you to move on so quickly? Two months? Or even less? No, it couldn’t be. He knew you. Ace knew you well enough to know that you were not going to jump so fast on someone else. Even if it was just for some kind of rebound, you would not display it so freely especially in front of people so close to you.

But what if he was wrong? He had heard many times that heartbreaks change people. What if this wasn’t an act? What if you had moved on and your heart now belongs to someone else? What if it was too late for a second chance?

All he needed as an answer was just one glance from you at him. The moment he got the chance to lock eyes with yours, he would be able to tell if you had moved on or not, but you haven’t glanced at him even once.

Two hours have passed by, if not more, and you haven’t dared to look at Ace’s direction, afraid that if you did so, you would break and look into his eyes and all the confidence you had slowly built in the bathroom and then thanks to Kid and the little act you decided to participated in, would go out the window the moment you lock your eyes with Ace.

The act between you two so far has been going pretty well. It wasn’t uncomfortable, but you and Kid didn’t do much, you just stayed very close to each other as he had one hand either on your shoulder or your thigh, which alone had won you a lot of questioning looks from everyone, but no one dared to ask anything out loud. Even Nami.

“Are you guys excited for next week?” Kaya question was for Nami, Usopp and you about your debut movie.

“Very.” You responded.

“And we need seven hundred dollars more to reach our go fund me goal.” Nami announced loudly. Usopp and you laughed at her as no one paid attention.

“It’s pointless, they all have already donated.” Usopp patted her shoulder.

You continued to laugh as they started to argue for the budget of the movie once again as Usopp was trying to explain to Nami that the money would be enough, while she was telling him how “Money are never enough.”, and that was when for a first time tonight you slipped. Lost in their ‘money’ banter your eyes shift and locked with the eyes you had been successfully ignoring for the past forty or more minutes.

Your laughter died instantly. He was looking at you and you were looking at him. Your eyes conveyed profound feelings, yet they couldn't grasp the other's intentions.

The one who broke the eye contact first was you. Tonight was the first time ever when Ace couldn’t read your eyes, and this struck a nerve in him. Your eyes were usually giving him all the answers, but not this time. He couldn’t catch what was behind them, nor did he have enough time to do so. He must either wait for a second chance to lock eyes with you again or get somewhere private with you and talk. You two must talk. Tonight.

Getting up from his seat Ace went out onto the big balcony where surprisingly it was empty of guests, and he had the time to collect his mind for a second. Taking his cigarettes from his pocket he lit up one and took a long drag out of it.

He must speak with you tonight or at least try to, but he needed to be only the two of you. No other people around. But how? How could he make this possible? And what does he tell you once he gets the chance to speak with you?

The glass door slid open, and Ace was no longer alone with his thought on the balcony. He didn’t bother to turn around to see who it was as he didn’t really care. He knew that it wouldn’t be you, that was for sure.

“Shit, you’ve got a lighter, man?” Kid asked Ace as his lighter just died and he wasn’t able to light his cigarette.

Glancing at him Ace nodded and handed him the lighter. Perfect, not only he had to deal with watching the man next to him having his hands all over the girl he wanted, but now he had to share his lighter with him, how ironically.

“Thanks.” Kid said as he handed back Ace the lighter.

Both men kept a distance between themselves. Kid could see that Ace wasn’t very happy to have him around and this was making things even more fun for him. “Fancy party, huh?” The bright red-haired man chuckled.

Side-eyeing him Ace hummed with agreement. He wasn’t planning on having small talk with him.

“I wasn’t much into it, when (Y/N) told me ‘bout it.” Kid continued. He knew what he was doing by mentioning your name.

“Didn’t know you two are friends.” Ace said, exhaling the smoke of the cigarette, which filled up his lungs.

“We are not.” The guy next to him smirked, knowing what he was doing.

Glancing at him, Ace couldn’t help but feel his jaw tightening. He knew what the person standing next to him means with this, but he didn’t want to believe it. This couldn’t be it.

Swallowing his pain, his pride and ego came to help. “Then I guess you’re welcome.”

“Oh, I am.” Still with a smirk on him face Kid replied.

Both men looked at each other not saying a single word as they finished their cigarettes at the same time and threw them away from the balcony. Before any of them say anything a group of drunk girls and guys walked onto the balcony. Glancing at them Kid laughed and walked off. He did get what he wanted as a reaction from Ace, which feed up his ego.

Ace on the other hand was mad. He knew this was an act, he wasn’t that stupid, but still, he couldn’t believe that you could be hanging out with such jerk as Kid. Not like he was better than him, but at least he wasn’t that cocky.

Walking in determined to find and speak with you, Ace noticed that you weren’t sitting on the couch, and you have gone somewhere. Luffy wouldn’t know where you have gone, but Nami should, so he made her way to her and lean closer whispering in her ear, asking her for you.

“I think she went to the kitchen.” She told, Ace and he tanked her as he made his way there, before Nami gets the chance to ask any questions.

You have gone to the kitchen looking for something refreshing to drink, but not alcohol. You have had two beers already and you didn’t want to drink any more for tonight. Looking around for a drink, you were also congratulating yourself in your mind as you have managed to ignore Ace successfully the whole time you have been here and when you two finally locked eyes, accidently, you didn’t break your little act. This for you was an achievement on its own. If someone earlier today has told you that this would have happened and you would keep your cool, you wouldn’t have believed them.

Reaching to grab some kind of fruit flavoured soda from the slowly emptying fridge, you freeze for a moment when you heard a painfully recognisable voice behind you.

“We need to talk.” Standing behind you, Ace wasted no time getting to his point.

Taking a deep breath in you straightened your posture and grabbed the drink you wanted before closing the fridge door and walk away as you ignored the presence of the man behind you. If trying to avoid his eyes tonight was hard, this by itself was ten times harder, as your heart was about to explode in your chest.

Ace was left unhappy by your act of ignorance. He understood that you were mad at him and didn’t want to do or have anything with him anymore, but this was slowly breaking his patience, which was never something to exists in the first place.

Making a few steps towards you he caught you before you leave the enormous kitchen and turned you around. “Just two minutes.”

The feeling of his hand wrapped around your wrist so gently, yet in a strong hold, caught the air in your lungs. Not daring to look at him, you tried to pull your hand away, but this made his hold on it stronger.

“I’m not letting you until you give me two minutes to speak with you.” Taking a step closer to you he said quietly as there were quite lot of people in the kitchen, but thankfully most were already drunk and didn’t care what was happening around them.

Two minutes? He wanted two minutes to talk to you? For what? Everything you two had to say was already said two months ago, and there was nothing left to be said. But yet again, this man had the audacity to stand in front of you without any remorse and ask for ‘two minutes’ like you own him something.

Taking all the confidence and power you had in yourself you finally looked at him. You two were close but not that close, and as much as a big part of you missed these deep brown eyes, you have had enough of this man. Pointing with your eyes at your wrist he got the hint and let go of it. Now both of you stood up in front of the other without saying a word in the middle of the kitchen.

Ace couldn’t read you. Your eyes had so many hidden emotions behind them, mostly pain, but apart from that he couldn’t tell what you were currently thinking of. Did you hate him? Probably, he deserved it. Did it hurt you to see him again? The answer to this was probably, yes as well. Was he overstepping your boundaries once again? For sure. But he couldn’t help it. He needed to make things right with you.

He must speak with you and apologies. You must give him this chance and after it, you could tell him to fuck off and he would, but he needed to speak with you at least.

“Please.” His pleading was full of desperation and pain. “Give me two minutes and I swear I will-”

“I’m sorry, do we know each other?” You didn’t let him finish his sentence as you interrupted.

This got Ace taken aback. Were you really going to act like you two didn’t know each other? He thought that you were more mature than this.

“Come on, doll. You’re better than this.” He breathed out annoyed.

Narrowing your eyes with a bit of disgust and annoyance with him, you just hummed and turned around leaving him behind, but Ace was not having it. Forcefully he grabbed you by the arm and lead you in the corridor leading to one of the many bedrooms this enormous penthouse had.

As much as you tried to fight him it was pointless as he was overpowering you no matter how hard you tried.

“The fuck is wrong with you?” You screamed at him once he closed the door behind you.

“A lot of things.” He turned and yelled back at you.

Silenced took over the room. You didn’t know what to do or what was right to do. You didn’t want to listen to him nor to be in the same room with him. You wanted nothing to do with him. You two were strangers now, nothing more nothing less, but he, of course, had to make things complicated as always.

“What do you want from me?” You asked, turning your back to him as you walked to the big windows in the room, overlooking at the big city beneath you. Wrapping your arms around yourself, as a form of protection, you leaned your head on the window.

What did he want from you, really? Could he want something from you? Ace wasn’t sure how to answer this as he didn’t have the answer himself. He just knew that he wanted to speak with you, but he didn’t know what exactly to say.

“I told you.” Ace said in now more calmed tone. “I want to speak with you.”

“And I don’t.” You replied.

“You don’t have to.” He quickly replied. “All you need to do is... listen... I guess.” He wasn’t sure what you need to do in this situation. The only thing that was giving him confidence was that you haven’t run out of the room, yet.

You couldn’t help but laughed. He really did have the audacity. Turning your body slightly towards him but still looking out at the city lights you said, “That’s the thing. I don’t want to speak, listen, see or do anything with you. And why should I? You made it clear last time and now we are strangers. Nothing more nor less.” You were surprised of yourself. You weren’t sure where you found this confidence and cool within yourself, but you were proud of what you just said to him.

The way you said it, so calm and collected, made Ace realised how much he has lost you. You didn’t want to do anything with him, and it was all because of his words and actions.

Walking further into the room, but still keeping his distance from you, Ace slowly nodded. “I don’t want you to forgive me.” Taking a deep breath in he took a few more steps and came closer to you. He tried to collect his thought, but he couldn’t so he went straight to the point. “I just want us to... try again, but from the start?” Hearing himself he couldn’t believe how stupid he sounded.

Hearing him, you were left speechless. There was nothing worth it left between you two to start it all over again.

“You’re pathetic.” You shook your head and start to walk out. “Your two minutes are done.” Walking to the door before he had the chance to say anything more you turned your head to look at him from over your shoulder. “Never bother me again. You are a stranger for me and so am I to you.” With this you left the room and Ace.

Making your way to where your friends were, you went straight to Kid and whispered in his ear that you wanted to go. By the look of your face he knew that something had happened, so he only nodded. Saying a quick goodbye to the rest of your friend group you two left the party.

“He came to speak with you, didn’t he?” Kid asked when it was only you two in the elevator. You only hummed in response. “And?”

“I told you.” You quietly responded. “I want nothing to do with him.”

Or this was what I wanted to believe. That I was done with him. That him mentioning a new start didn’t sound appealing for a moment. But I couldn’t let him in again. He showed me once how cruel and unapologetic he could be towards my feelings, he would and could do it again and I couldn’t overlook this. Despite my stupid heart still longing for him after all he has done, I must listen to my brain and protect it. The fact that I even gave him the two minutes he wanted so bad was enough of a weakness I showed him tonight. I still did what he wanted, he still got what he wanted, but this time I was able to leave with a bit more self-respect than the last time.

“Thank you, Kid. Victoria will be one lucky girl.” I turned and said to the bright red-haired man on the driver’s seat.

“Don’t forget that I’m an asshole, too.” He winked at me with a smirk.

END NOTE: I hope that Reader doesn't come out as some constantly crying girl. She is quite emotional and I also try to show you how much Ace has fucked her mental health up, that just by looking at him all the pain comes back and it is very hard for her to control her emotions. I also know that this chapter might feel rushed, but I promise something big is coming in the next one. Please leave your opinion about how you feel or thing about the chapter, you know I appreciate every like, comment, reblog and message ♡ I want to thank you all for your patience and that you are all amazing lysm ♡♡♡

✰ taglist ✰ @orange-milky @neospade @bluetokie @glaciuswduo @izoswifey @l-l-light @kanekisheart @gojossixtheyes @lilink @kitsunechan707

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writing, format & dividers © cinnamoonblue fanart @a_phu14 on IG ©cinnamoonblue, do not copy or plagiarise my work.

[creatingblackcharacters]

hey there! so, im making a character who's Black, anddd i need help with them. badly so.

(sorry in advance bc this character isnt That developed or at least not as much as other OCs i have)

alright, they're an afab teen under the non-binary umbrella (im not sure on what gender i should give them). they're in a friend group with two other teens, one of whom found out she's trans, and that made them go like "wait maybe im not cis". they live in an extremely conservative christian town, and they're one of the few black kids there (it's an awful place to live, i make that very clear), which makes it so that they're not very connected with LGBTQ not POC communities - which is why their friend was the one who introduced queerness to them. they're the quietest of their friend group, quite autism coded but i dont think I'll really specify it, and they're a pretty normal kid all things considered (a bit of a self-insert personality wise lol)

when i first thought this character's gender arc, as the story will be very visual (animatics probably), i thought of them experimenting with gender by trying on their older brother's clothes. seeing they like how it looks, they decide to pick up a pack of scissors and cut their hair themself.

now, i remembered "oh fuck, POC usually don't like to have their hair messed with do they?" (i have read a bunch of posts abt that so im 99% certain lol-), then noticed how white the whole arc looks (i need more contact with POC i live in White Hell i have no other reference ;;), and that kinda discouraged me from writing them to the point i almost scrapped the whole character arc and even the concept- which is also why they're not as developed as they should be.

now, the actual question! how to write their transition arc, while also remaining respectful and realistic? also, have you noticed anything in this ask that's kinda fucked up, and how can i fix it if so? im doing my best to represent many groups of ppl with my OCs and i want to be accurate sorry if this ask is very long ;;

thank you so much for answering, and thank you for this blog!! you're very cool :)

So first, I deeply want to apologize for how late I am on answering this. I didn't want to answer without being informed, but I also know how much you want advice.

First, if this character is Black, say "Black" not "POC". Even in your head, start making that decision to be specific every time. We have a specific identity, we are not every man, and it's annoying to be referred to so generally when we have an identity.

For the hair part, check out this lesson. If your character decided to cut their hair off themselves, then it's not exactly an issue- it's their hair! It'd be different if it was someone they didn't know and trust touching their hair. You may feel free to refer to my entire syllabus if you want to do the reading to see if there's anything else you may have missed!

As for your question on their transition, this is the part that I was wavering on answering, because I'm currently doing the reading myself for a lesson I'm writing. So at the moment, all I can really say is to read narratives about and by Black trans people, and what that meant for them! That's a cool list I just found, I'm gonna save it for later as a reference.

It's not going to be received the same way as a white person transitioning, no; perception of gender identity and expression are going to be different depending on who's looking. For example, what does 'Black androgyny' look like to white people if they already believe that we have 'masculine' features? Thus the existence of the term 'stud'. Or how long hair is deemed feminine, but there are plenty of Black and Indigenous people whose hair growth is essential to their identity and has nothing to do with "making them girly".

I think what I plan on getting into more detail on in my lesson- and what you'll need to understand- is that following or even subverting gender "norms" is dependent upon what those cultural norms are, and how they might conflict at times. So to write a respectful narrative, you're going to have to understand what it means to live at that intersection. I hope this all made sense 😅 this is why I'm not confident in that lesson yet.

[erinwantstowrite]

do you have any advice how to get over the fear of posting fanfiction?

idk if you would relate to that but for some reason I just can't publish anything online that isn't my original work, idk if I'm scared that fandoms are going to bully me or that nobody will read it or something else

I know these fears are irrational, but I would love to hear if you had any advice for me

you gotta jump headfirst into it. like this:

when i was 13 years old i wrote a mary sue oc for a marauders fanfiction, named Lana Portland, who could see the future and fell in love with Sirius Black. her one goal was stopping the prophecy and saving everyone, but she died, came back to life at her own funeral, and then disappeared off the face of the earth because she lost her mind. what happened to her? she could only have a sane mind while she was an owl, her animagus form, but no one knew she was an animagus. you'll never believe what owl she was: Hedwig.

if the Erin writing to you right now was the Erin from about six years ago, they would NEVER have admitted that. however, the Erin I am now can. why? because the embarrassment i felt when i turned 15 and hated looking at it has worn off.

Now Erin has finally come to terms with the fact that being "cringe" is a hell of our making. 15 year old Erin was absolutely sure they'd get bullied to hell and back if anyone knew what they had written at 13. they were much more mature than 13 year old Erin, because they wrote Voltron fanfic, not Harry Potter

being scared of what people thought of my writing was a huge obstacle to overcome, and that's because writing is intensely personal

at first, i wrote my Voltron fics with the fandom in mind. i really wanted some validation, but i was miserable and hated writing. eventually, i went back to my roots of just... writing with only myself in mind. and i was happy again, posting with barely any thought to if someone would like the fic. so sure, reading any of my old works would make me want to throw myself into a pit of fire, but there's something freeing about knowing i had posted them. i am where i am now because i hadn't worried about what people thought of it when i was writing it.

over the years, i've found that fics i wrote that were intended to make absolutely everyone happy with me were my worst fics. i didn't enjoy making them, and people still found a way to be dissatisfied with something i've done. the fics where i do absolutely anything i want, even if it ends up making no sense, were the fics i had the most fun writing. and i didn't regret making them

all this to say: treat your fanfic like it's your own original work, have your fun! don't worry about if people tell you "Character would never do that, you are awful." because 1) who cares, and 2) you can block them, and they can block you

now let's say you're no longer scared of getting dunked on for your writing, so you posted it. good job! now you're wanting people to read your work, but you're scared they won't.

this part is complicated because you could do all the "right" things and still get nothing. that can be making sure you're tagging your fic correctly, or making a bunch of posts about your fic and asking people to read, etc. so, before you focus on getting more people to read, you should remind yourself that even if absolutely no one reads your fic, that doesn't mean you should be ashamed of your work. this also ties back into being content with your writing and doing it for yourself first and foremost.

my favorite fic i've written is "Coffee Jelly Disaster." it's only 900 words, it's not nearly my best writing technically, and barely anyone has read it. that last part ate at me when i first posted it because i thought more people would read it. but i still love it! it's so simple and i had fun

when i started writing LoF it was just for me and my friend, and then it got popular because i made a couple of silly tiktoks, which were also for me and my friend. i hadn't expected so many people to tune in when i started, because i had a couple of well read fics before, but nothing like this.

you don't have control over that kind of stuff because there's a lot of different favtors. and it really depends on what fandom you're writing for, too. Saiki K is not nearly as big as Spider-Man and Batman.

so the way i see it, if you post and get two hits and one like, that's still somebody out there who saw your work and wanted you to see they liked it. if you never post it at all, no one will. you gotta take the first step forward to get somewhere, and eventually you'll be running. we end up regretting our inactions the most

[nostalgiachan]

Sorry if this sounds a tad bit personal but how did you manage upon well... the oger team?

Like did you know them before tts?

Since it's been many moons since I last answered this question, I'll regale you with the tale:

It was long ago in a distant land - aka thirteen years ago at a stream I used to work for called DatStream. A bunch of the viewers there were Warhammer 40k fans, and I got introduced to a bunch of the lore and memes via one of the regulars asking me to do some (tame) art of Slaanesh and the Noise Marines. I thought Slaanesh's whole deal was cool (an evil god of art and music? RAD), so I started reading up more on my own. Eventually, said folks also shared a series of videos called The Boreale Cast, wherein some Swedish kid and a bunch of his Steam friends would play games and share goofy stories about essentially their 40k OCs getting up to shenanigans, which I found pretty funny. Since I was now slowly immersing myself in the greater 40k mysteries, I decided to subscribe.

(I joined the Alfa Legion's Steam group, as well, but when my first experience of their chat was one of the moderators banning everyone because FUNNY, I decided I didn't have the patience for that, lol)

Then one day, aforementioned Swedish kid, Alfabusa, put out a video saying they were looking for voice actresses for a game they were making, Tales of the Alfa Legion: The Screaming Night. At that time, most of my voice acting experience was reading bad fanfic live on stream, but I'd recently done a little stage acting for the first time with my college's theater troupe, so I was feeling a little confident. After all, worst they could say was no, right?

So, I tried out...and I got the part! I'd be playing Jet Ambustio, Sister of Battle. Thus was I brought into the Alfa Legion Veterans Skype chat. Unfortunately, the game was never really finished, though I believe Eliphus at least got it into a playable state at some point. I designed a whole boss fight character and everything (shoutouts to anybody who's been here since the days of Nost Algia, Slaaneshi Hospitaller), so I was bummed.

But while that didn't pan out, what did end up happening was Alfa made a little one-off short called If the Emperor had a Text-to-Speech Device because he wanted to make a joke about how the then-recently released Dreadknights were dumb, but the Centurions were adorable. And when that video became surprisingly popular, he made another one. And then he made a third, where he asked me if I'd play Alicia Dominica.

And now, here we are eleven years later.

[abyssal-author-and-artist]

If this gets twenty notes by tomorrow (9:40 mst i believe) I'll make cake Hit by SIX AM my timezone. What.

If it gets thirty I'll make cookies Hit by six am again.

If it gets fourty by 6 mst I'll go to bed on time and not doomscroll Also hit when I woke up

And with no specified time limit

If it gets fifty I'll clean my room again

If it gets sixty I'll pick up a sonic game again and not put it down until I beat at least three levels

Seventy and I'll finally get venmo up and running and commissions open

Eighty I'll sew myself some clothes I want Everything fifty to eighty was hit by 9 my timezone.

Ninety I'll pirate Slay the Princess (it's dev approved pirating bc I'm broke) This goal was going to be cancelled but we hit ninety by ten in the crabbing morning. So I'm waiting until I can buy it because I'm riding out my ISaT obsession first.

And one hundred I'll go for a walk every day for a week straight even if i hurt Hit by like 11 my timezone. Sure. I guess I'm doing walks now. Also note 101 was me and doesn't count but fuck it! More goalposts I guess! Reblog this version

120 I'll do a digital painting of a fuckable concept of space for my mutual @onelonelyghost0 like I've been threatening Oh No I have to paint/silly (I'm actually looking forward to it lol)

150 I'll revamp and release a Soul Eater oc I made when I was ten

170 I'll finally write my Warrior Cats essay on "why Power of Three/Omen of the Stars arc is my favorite and handles the story it wants to tell the best but the Prophecies Begin has the best story" like I've wanted to for forever

200 I'll take at least one walk a week for a month no matter the weather (it's snowy in winter where I am)

250 I'll uh fuck ig I'll write an oc i've been working on into a proper story and publish it? It'll be hard bc digital painting but whatever

300 Ha you think we're getting here? 100 was a fluke. If we somehow hit here I'm going to eat three meals a day including breakfast, even on college days, no excuses. If I'm going to abuse Tumblr notes forcing me to do stuff I want to but never would, I'm going to force myself to eat

400 Okay guys this is absurd and we're not getting here. If we do I'm going to come out as trans to my best irl friend (she's not transphobic but one of her closest friends (her ex boyfriend) is. Luckily he's not scary-transphobic, he's just "you're not valid" transphobic and his opinion means nothing to me so I lose nothing by him knowing I'm trans)

Probably won't need more than that and I know this will get buried so @animnightmare Leslie get over here

Also no more than ten reblogs per person

[twilightnesss]

˚ ༘ ◝ are we still friends?

pairing: kate martin x bestfriend!oc

summary: after hooking up with one of her childhood best friends, kate finds it hard to keep the friendship.. friendly.

warnings: none

divider from @anitalenia

abigail’s eyes fluttered open slowly trying to take in her surroundings. the room she was in was very familiar, her best friend kate’s dorm. her nerves began to calm until she noticed that she was completely naked waist down. her breath hitched and her body froze. she sat up on her elbows quickly to see articles of both the girls clothing scattered around the room. as she looked around hastily, she soon heard footsteps coming towards the specific dorm room.

abi tried to put on her clothes quickly before having to run anto anyone she didn’t want to. she got up from the bed, ass still out looking for her under in the mess around the room. as she was bent over, she heard the door open and looked back ashamed.

kate didn’t look half as bad as eye did. her hair was tamed but her face was still puffy as if she hadn’t woken up that long before me. “morning g.” she muttered with a small smile. abi just nodded her head rushing to get out of there, trying not to leave anything. she eventually got all her clothes on but couldn’t find her cellphone for her life. kate just watched her every move, looking up and down for her phone.

they both knew how stressful the situation was but kate was taking it way easier. last night was everything she had ever wanted and more. the light haired girl paced in front of kate a few more times before kate grabbed her wrist so they could come face to face. for some reason, abi couldn’t get herself to look in kate’s face. almost like the was embarrassed from last night events.. knowing she’s not.

“talk to me abi.” kate’s voice was extremely warm and inviting as she rubbed abigail’s arm as a way of comfort. this action may have made her wanna go another round

but instead she let out a defeated sigh and shakily said “im just trying to find my phone kate. please.” kate’s hand fell by her side before she reached into her sweatpants pocket and pulled out abi’s phone, handing it to the shorter girl. “i was just sending our videos to myself” she said backing up to lay out in her bed. abigail stood there dumbfounded completely. she couldn’t even believe the had sex first of all but now there’s videos??? she was definitely gonna look at those later

the two were in this distanced position for a minute or two before abigail semi stormed out. it was expected but still hurt kate. she was scared of catching feelings but even more scared to lose her best friend all together.

few days later

today was game day. kate had found it hard to even focus on todays game. all she could think of was abigail. her face, her body, her voice, everything. they hadn’t been in contact since the other night. kate hoped and prayed that abi would show up to her game today even though she didn’t really expect it.

but to her surprise, abigail had shown up. she tried to hide herself but kate could spot her from a mile away. knowing that abi even showed up made her extremely happy and threw her back on her game.

by the end of the night, iowa obviously won but their captain wasn’t focused on that. she was focused on getting to talk to her girl by the end of the night. Kate quickly changed her clothes in an attempt to catch Abi leaving or even outside. unfortunately when kate came out of the locker room, she was stopped up by fans. taking pictures, answering questions, and signing merchandise. before she knew it she was in a post-game interview. her answers were rushed but that didn’t seem to cut the interview in half. if anything it made it longer.. having more questions to ask.

when the interview was over, kate sluggishly rose from her seat and continued to walk outside the arena. she was discouraged to say the least. her heart knew that when she went through those double doors, the person she wanted to see the most would not be on the other side.

but to her surprise, abigail was there.. waiting on the other side. kate didn’t get the reaction she wanted though. she expected abigail’s face to light up when she saw her best friend but instead it drooped into a deep frown. this was ignored tho.

“hey. glad you waited for me” kate spoke first. “yep. can we talk” abigail questioned avoiding the blondes gaze once again.

this sentence made kate’s stomach drop to her ass. there was no way this would end well.

“look i know you think the other night was a mistake and i thought that way too at first but i can’t deny it. i love you abi. like so much and we could work something out no matter what” kate expressed stepping closer to her best friend, rubbing her cheek gently.

“kate”

a/n: i was tired of writing this sorry it’s short (def a pattern for me) but there will be a pt.2. there’s been a lot of requests for a pt2 of “pool party” but idek what to do for that so if yall have any ideas

[rainbowpunki]

👋 hello! This is my new account, I'm Freddy, AKA tontoemojis / animatronicthing / animatronicfreak on Discord. I just wanted to address all that has happened in the past month! Apologies if my english isn't good or my explanations aren't the best, I just wanted to share my thoughts & my side of the story now that I am in a better place to talk. First of all, I assume my private DMs have already been leaked, so I will leak some from my side too! Just to include proof, of course. Second, this will be a long long long post, careful!

I will go through all the points of the list of "things Freddy has done".

First point. If we remember, I am schizophrenic, this can lead into me having big delusions such as me believing I am a god, god of my own world. Now, I never forced anyone into treating me like a god / referring to me as a god! I believed Iggy & me had a dynamic of god / servant, but I never truly believed he was my literal servant, just a dynamic. & !!! my poor poor victim was calling me a god every time he could, drawing me as the god of the sun & practically worshiping me, as he said various times. I never forced this onto Iggy nor did I ever get upset if he didn't "worship" me because I didn't need anyone to worship me, as I had said before, "I was not the type of god that would like people worshiping me".

Second point. For this I have to remark that we are both 16yo teenagers, I would get it if I was like 5 years older than him, then the whole thing would be different, but we are less than 20 days apart. I can see how the dynamic of deity & worshiper can be unhealthy if handled wrong, or done by mentally ill minors (like us). I understand the mistake here & I am sorry for that.

Iggy seemed to really like our dynamic from what he told me almost every week though, so I thought I had green light to keep our dynamic goint.

Third point. Not true! We were in an old server called Bangerville that has now since been deleted, so I don't have any solid proof to this other than my words. I do have proof of our old conversation with Iggy's old account though. CW for sexual stuff ⬇. In this server, Iggy was showing off his new OC named Julius & I really liked him, I drew him & from what I remember; Iggy told the people to DM him if they wanted to know more facts about him, & I DMed him, & Iggy started with the NSFW, not me!

Partially not true. I did draw porn of Iggy & me, yes, but it was all with consent, while that doesn't make it less weird in your eyes, it was with consent. + Iggy really liked it from what he constantly told me everytime I drew him, with & without sexual intent.

Fifth. I couldn't find any proof that I ever said "I will hurt myself if you are not with me / leave me" in our DMs, so I will guess this is also false. I probably did imply in some of our conversations that I relied on Iggy for emotional support (because that is what partners do???? Help each other out & be there for emotional support?????), but not completely.

Sixth, while in the list it says "detailed bulge" K9 accused me of drawing my brother's Roblox avatar with an erection, an erection. The drawing & the references are here:

if you tell me THAT is an erection then you haven't seen a man in underwear or a bodybuilder in your life. Because that is not a fucking erection & y'all are acting crazy! It could be seen as a detailed bulge, yes, but I have said before to K9, I just copied the image. You guys are overreacting & acting as if I drew porn of my literal brother.

In the group chat K9 & the others made with me, they just told me how it seemed I was fetishizing fat people by drawing my fat OC in just sexual light (which is simply not true). They didn't tell me how they really felt about my OC.

This is the character we are talking about. His name is Bonnie & I've had him since 6th grade. He is a monster that uses his human appearance to lure men & then eat them alive. His nature is being an asshole, basically.

A) I genuinely cannot see how he is a "black caricature", I would like to hear how he is stereotypical / a caricature, because I simply cannot see it. B) Why can't my fat character be sexualized? Are fat people not allowed to be sexual just as much as skinny people? is it because I'm bodily skinny? & if that is the case, why can't skinny people have fat sexualized OCs? I don't get it. Also, the sexualization in question was me drawing Bonnie topless (apparently big tits are sexual now!) & that last drawing of him mentioning a vibrator, that was all the "sexualization" they are talking about.

again, the sexualized pieces were Bonnie topless & the drawing of him mentioning a vibrator. Yes, I should have put a higher age limit to my server due to various reasons other than these, that is very true & I appreciated that K9 & the others brought it up to me. I didn't appreciate that they raided my whole server while I was asleep, though.

While I apologized for this already, it got included in the list & I don't know why. But again, I apologize for it once more, I spoke over minorities & I understand my mistake.

ouch! I mean... I have narcissistic traits, which means I have a harder time taking criticism, I often think people are attacking me whenever they criticize me, & that's on me & me only, they are right. I will be better next time.

This is just false, like, blatantly false. I couldn't find a single message of me defending proshippers to Iggy in our DMs, nor do I remember ever doing that. This actually surprised me because when a proshipper joined my server I was the 1st one to go running to Iggy's DMs screaming "THEY'RE A PROSHIPPER!!!".

when all of this went down, I was in a bad mental state & Iggy knew this. When I get overwhelmed (& I did get overwhelmed in the situation) it is hard for me to understand some things. I don't see how having somebody else to explain the situation to me in a more simple way is bad. I felt attacked, true. & if you count saying "I love you" to someone as praising them, then yeah, I was constantly being "praised" by Iggy while this situation went down, but I promise you I would've lived without all of those "I love you"s.

Begging? begging. Also the people were asking for an Iggy appreciation channel, not a channel just for Iggy. Also also I would love to hear which other horrible behaviors I had because of my NPD!

I don't know if Iggy liked those jokes genuinely, or if when he said stuff like "LIKE DUDE WHEN YOU WERE CALLING ME A LAZY ASS I WAS LITERALLY LIKE (emoji of yellow guy in a puddle)" he was lying to me, but I guess he did lie. I would have never ever called him any of that if I knew he didn't like it, I went on with it because I thought he was genuinely comfortable with those jokes made about him because he told me that everytime I made a joke like that & thought he was mad at me, he was just "turned on" (his words, not mine).

I did ask him to be my "caregiver", yes, but in this situation I saw being a caregiver as being a normal partner; helping each other out when needed, understanding each other's needs & know how to fulfill them. I did tell Iggy whenever I felt bad & wanted to relapse, & I guess that's on me for thinking my partner could help me deal with hard thoughts I had regularly, because you know, partners are there to help each other out.

& what about you K9? do you not have a channel made just to shit talk the people in your server, where your staff has told repeatedly other people to "jump" or harm themselves? I've seen it, I've been staff in your server for a while, you know. That's all the list, sorry I couldn't add any more images; I reached the limit. They've also told the people how I "used Iggy sexually". Which just hurts me deep in my soul, because I loved him with my whole heart, & hearing how he tells everyone that I "used" him just shows me how he never really saw everything I did for him. I drew him almost everyday, I made him gifts, I helped him whenever he felt he was going to relapse, I gave him my money so he could pay his medicines, I WAS PLANNING TO GO TO SWEDEN JUST TO SEE HIM. It is true he sent me sexual content, but I sent him the same sexual content he sent me. I thought we were in an equal relationship, but I guess we weren't & he never told me anything he was thinking. I've done things wrong, yes, but I didn't deserve my private things to be thrown to the world like this. I don't hope bad things happen to neither Iggy or K9 & the server, I just hope the universe gives you what you deserve.