#something.. unresolved

[deadpoetsmusings]

december has gone by a little too fast / the year end always gives me a whiplash

[sexy-sapphic-sorcerer]

Holmes and Watson / Tristan and Isolde

BBC Radio 4's Sherlock Holmes, The Devil's Foot (radio drama transcript) /// Granada's The Memoirs of Sherlock Holmes, The Red Circle /// Metafictional Monday: Tristan und Isolde, @teaformrholmes /// Brayton Polka, LIEBESTOD: On Love and Death in Wagner's "Tristan und Isolde", p. 246 /// The Private Life of Sherlock Holmes, Vincent Starrett /// BBC Radio 4's Sherlock Holmes, The Devil's Foot (radio drama transcript)

[burntoutangel]

A guardian angel who’s been with her charge for years. They practically grew up together, and ever since she realized she could see her, they’ve both been there for each other. Keeping her safe from the dark, telling her jokes on boring car rides, supporting her in transition. They’re like best friends or sisters, and even if they Angel isn’t around 24/7(everyone needs privacy now and then. Girls do, and even angels do), she’s only a name away.

And so she’s not entirely surprised when she’s called to chat on her charges smoke break. Manifesting her form in a grimy alley behind the shitty restaurant she’s been working at, calling out a few lines about the virtues of patience and humility, and how she should really quit smoking. What is a surprise is her girl grabbing the back of her neck and muttering “Angel, I need some *real* relief right now. Not just pretty words”. They’ve never touched like this before. And her voice has never been so gravely and full of… want. And so the angels first experience today in the physical world is her bare knees grating against the damp and grimy concrete, hands against the faded concrete, whimpering and grinding her hips as her charge, the girl she’s been with for years, uses the hand not holding a cigarette to fuck her throat until the angels nose is buried in her crotch~ it smells like sweat and precum and grease and smoke, this is far beyond what an angel, especially a *guardian* should do but fuck it just feels so good

The five minute break seems to stretch to eternity until a final shove hilts every inch of tired, underpaid girldick into her angelic throat, and the angel has her first whimpering shuddering pathetic orgasm at the feeling of her humans cum coating her mouth from throat to tongue, dripping the last remnants of it onto her eager lips. “Fuck honey, that was amazing. Look, my shifts about to start again but. You teleport to our place when im done, and I’ll make it up to you ok? Thanks for always being there for me” her girl says with a soft kiss to the cheek before turning quickly into the back door of the building, almost managing to hide her neon blush in the process

It takes a fair few minutes for the angel to collect herself. Dusting off her bruised knees, shyly licking the last of the cum off her lips and hands. Trying to get any remaining ash or dust off her robes. That was definitely more than a guardian was allowed to do. But she hardly cares. All that matters is the thought of her charge coming home and fucking her senseless again ❤️

[lazylittledragon]

y'know what. sometimes there is something wrong with you. and i don't mean in a "you are broken and that makes you unworthy" way, just in the "your brain/body does not work the way it's expected to and that's why things are so hard" way

like as someone who grew up constantly being told there was nothing wrong with me and i just had to try harder to clean/socialise/work, knowing i had ADHD earlier would've saved me a LOT of guilt. knowing i have IBS would've prevented a lot of pain/embarrassment from not being able to manage it yet. i wish someone had told me there was a reason i couldn't do things instead of just telling me i was fine. people reassuring me i didn't have any issues to spare me the shame of being "different" only made me feel worse about not being able to function like everyone else!!!

idk sometimes i just wish i knew there was something different about me sooner bc then i would've had an explanation and a way to get better instead of just a lot of self loathing

[spop-romanticizes-abuse]

idk if i'm the only one who has noticed this, but i feel like a lot of movies and shows nowadays are, for the lack of a better word, “too cool for apologies”.

meaning that any time a character makes a mistake or hurts someone, they don't really apologize. they either do one good thing and everything is a-okay, or in slightly better cases, they make some effort to better themselves.

it's gotten to the point where i've genuinely been taken aback by apologies in movies, especially ones that aren't just “i'm sorry” “it's okay”. actual apologies that address the person's behavior, promise to do better and doesn't expect immediate forgiveness in return are so rare in media.

now i'm usually not a fan of telling instead of showing, but this is an exception for me. i do think that an apology is warranted along with a change of behaviour, especially in cases of more serious mistakes.

of course, a change of behaviour is more important than the apology but that doesn't mean you can just skip the apology entirely.

it takes a lot of courage to admit that you have made a mistake, especially for characters whose fatal flaw is their hubris or their stubbornness. a good apology can make for some really great character development, as well as provide some closure for both the characters as well as the audience.

idk it's just weird when two characters don't discuss the shit that went down between them at all and simply start working together again out of the blue. it never sits well with me, it always feels like the story is incomplete.

[lord-squiggletits]

Y'know I kind of feel like when Megatron killed Tarn and said 'I want you to spend your final moments thinking of this: that everything you've done has been for nothing' he was kind of self-projecting onto Tarn? Mainly because at Megatron's statue, M and T had a conversation where Tarn explicitly asked if all the Decepticons in service to Megatron died for nothing, if HE did everything he did for nothing. (And I think M even gave an answer along the lines of 'idk I think we basically did'). And then after Megatron killed the DJD and Rodimus teleported in to rescue him, there was that silent moment where Megatron just stared at Rodimus not moving at all before he finally took his hand at the last moment.

It honestly feels to me like for a while, Megatron fully intended to murder-suicide himself. Murder the DJD, his monsters and his creation, and then take himself out alongside them, because he is also a monster. Because he also feels that everything he's ever done has been for nothing.

Goddamn it's no wonder I liked that scene so much LMAO, as someone who thinks villain Megatron > Autobot Megatron, literally one of his key traits is that Megatron basically took his pain/trauma/worldview and used it to lash out at the universe and try to subjugate it to his vision. So the fact that he took his own pain and brutally murdered the DJD while telling them the very same thing that puts him through so much agony is so very deliciously ironic. And a return, however brief, to the Megatron characterization that I know and love.

[adhd-merlin]

[ihatechosingnames]

A few days ago, while I was walking back home from work, I started daydreaming and at one point I had a potential fanfic in the Batman fandom.

It all started with the death of the Joker by the hands of a very angry and tired and devastated civilian.

I went through a minimal backstory for this man, a retired army/navy man, who tragically lost his entire family (wife, daughter, son in law and two grandchildren) to the Joker in some sort of stupid game with the Bat (like you have tot minutes to choose who to save but the Joker is cheating and they all die) and since he already lost everything, why not making sure his family's killer tots in hell.

And I argued against myself about why it should be a civilian, a nameless one, to do the deed.

Batman cannot kill the Joker, because by doing it he stops being Batman. In UTRH he says "if I start, I will never stop" and it's kind of a disservice to the human and caring side of Bruce (which we are seeing less and less through the years) who wanted to help and care and believed about the sacrality of life (every life is precious). That man will break if he kills someone even by accident. In UTRH he sounds more like someone who is one murder away from becoming the worst serial killer in US. What the fuck. And instead of turning away from a life where the choice to kill or not is dangling in front of his life every single time, he keeps dressing up as a bat because through violence they can resolve their inner issues.

Nightwing is another one that cannot kill the Joker. First, he already did that, it's time for another to take his turn. Secondly, he is so much like Bruce but without being all dark that for him it will be twice as hard to accept that he did something like that. Yes, when he killed the Joker he was angry, he wasn't pulling his punches and the Joker kept goading him with Jason's and Tim's (supposed) death by his hands. He was devastated by Jason's death (in a more visible way than Bruce's) and the mix with grief, hate, regret and despair, knowing that another Robin died by Joker's hands again, made him snap. That will probably make him the most sympathetic to the story of the civilian who shot the Joker. Because once upon a time, for a brief moment, he felt the same fury and grief and hate against the Joker.

Jason, in my opinion, shouldn't be the one to kill the Joker. He was killed by the Joker, it's not on him to find justice or to enact revenge on him. And it also seems that half of the time, when he isn't thinking about being the Better Batman that Gotham needs, he is probably thinking that he is back from death only to get revenge on the Joker. If he kills him and survives good, if he kills him and he dies, I don't see Jason fighting to stay alive. His first plan in UTRH was prepped that or only two would walk out or none of them. It wasn't just "kill the Joker yourself or let me kill him" plus "if you want to save the Joker you have to kill me", Jason had prepared plenty of explosives to go all out. That was a test for Bruce, but also a moment of truth for Jason (please choose me) and Jason, for all his plans to be the Better Batman, to seize the criminal empire, he was more than ready to explode alongside the Joker and Batman if it was required. If this behaviour isn't slightly suicidal, I don't know. That's why I think that seeing the Joker dead by the hands of someone who did it to take revenge for his family, it's going to give a breakdown to Jason. And the brain, to metabolize that right now the only reason Jason is alive, his revenge, is dead (and it wasn't even Bruce), needs time to think so he checks out. He needs to find some other reason to explain why Jason is back from death and is still alive. Could it be able to send Jason in a dissociative state where he is still functional but also "no one is here"? I don't have a degree in psychology, but definitely will study more on the matter. It's very likely that some sort of revaluation for the brain will translate in a breakdown with lashing out.

And back to the mystery civilian I was debating around how he will be able to kill the Joker:

1. he waits until the Joker escapes again and just shoots him and then he goes to the police to get a death by cop kind of suicide.

2. it's a more collective effort since he is not the only one who lost someone to the Joker and so we have a group of civilians that all helped the mystery man to do the deed, by either helping the Joker escapes or helping the guy infiltrate Arkham and shoot the Joker in his own cell. And then he shoots himself.

Either way I don't see him alive, he already lost everything important, he lived his life and he did his job. Now, the only thing missing is going back to his family.

But what I actually wanted to focus on the fanfic, because this is just the context, is the argument that will follow between the vigilantes. How their own personal beliefs and experiences should actually weight in this matter. Who they are to judge someone. And there will be some judging.

Because Bruce will never believe that just some civilian wanted to shoot the Joker. He is so paranoid that he will not believe that it was simple for revenge. There must be a plan or something like that.

Meanwhile Jason wants to go and scream somewhere, far away from Bruce and the stupid case. And it's clear that Bruce is thinking that Jason is behind this because, in his mind, no one wants the Joker dead like Jason (there is actually a line).

[moongothic]

If being weak is a "sin" in Crocodile's mind, then isn't a painful defeat and maybe even death rightful punishment for it? A punishment you deserve for your crime of "being weak"? That's an intriguing mindset from him because it makes me wonder how Crocodile might view his own past and the things he has gone through? I might not go as far as to say Crocodile "blames himself" for the things he's gone through, as he doesn't seem like the kind of guy who dwells on the past like that. But I do feel like Crocodile has accepted in his mind that things like losing his hand happened because he was weak, and it was his own fault. That he can not blame anyone else for what has happened to him. He fucked around and he found out.

It's just interesting because to some degree, One Piece thematically does agree with this sentiment, this is a world where the strong eat the weak. (One example at the top of my head; Luffy refusing Katakuri's apology when his sister intervened with their battle, saying he should've dodged the attack properly if he didn't want to get hit.) Chaka falling in this scene and being unable to stop Crocodile may lead to the deaths of so many more, including his loved ones, and if that comes to pass, it's is Chaka's own fault. For being too weak. But also Crocodile has twisted that idea; Crocodile is using his worldview here to justify himself and essentially saying he can do this (take over Alabasta and kill a million innocents doing so) and get away with it because he's powerful. When in reality "weakness is a sin" isn't about the survival of the fittest, but how this is a world where the strong are meant to protect the weak. (See: Luffy) (Also how Pell told Baby Vivi in that flashback about how he trains so he can protect the Royal Family; again, he he craves power not to oppress the weak but to protect them)

But, just to get back to Crocodile again, I feel like this worldview might also give us more insight as to how he acts in certain situations post-Alabasta. Like when we see Crocodile towards the end of Miss Goldenweek's cover story, both when he declines to escape from jail and in his Impel Down mugshot, Crocodile has a smile on his face. That really is the face of a man who has accepted his fate, is it not?

"Welp, this is what I get for losing to a child in flipflops"

Or when we see him come collect his debt from Buggy; Crocodile seemed quite relaxed and fully admitted he had assumed Buggy would've ran away before he even got there to collect his money. Of course, considdering his trust issues Crocodile would've been mentally prepared for Buggy skedaddling anyways, but the fact that he loaned the clown money to begin with while assuming he'd probably never get that money back-- like Crocodile knew that was going to happen and he just accepted it. And just rolled with it.

Of course, when things take an Unpleasant, Unexpected Turn, he will blow a fuse. Multiple, even.

Him angy

IDK man this is all just interesting to me

[struck-by-the-rain]

this is wayyy too much effort for a redrawn tumblr post. they should give me exams again.

[jawlipops]

bellaras dialogue after weisshaupt is pissing me tf off i hate that they boiled the entire worldbuilding potential of elven gods returning down to one scene of "what if people think we evil :("

[shrewfern]

crestfallen

sirius black x reader page count: 3 word count: 1386 summary: remus is jealous of you and sirius /// ‘...and so, we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly —’ “OH, GROSS!” a voice cried from the stairway as the slamming of a heavy door echoed.  Remus inhaled and just as deeply exhaled, the sound of footsteps pounding their way down the stone stairs. Less than five seconds later, a traumatized James appears at the foot of the threshold.  “Moony!” James wailed as he pointed to the stairwell, the annoying aura of that one gross, sticky, smelly kid who wore that zip-up creeper hoodie from elementary school palpable, “Moony, they’re snogging agai-ai-aiinnnnn!!!” “I know,” Remus sighed, putting his book down. And he did know, he’s accidentally walked in on Sirius and [y/n] making out more times than he can count. Be it in the dorm rooms, the common room, the Forbidden Forest, the Quidditch pitch — everywhere! Every-fucking-where! They were practically glued at the tongue! “I know,” Remus repeated with the air of a soldier who buried his heart with his fallen country. “I know.”

Normally during breakfast, Remus could hardly keep his eyes off Sirius. Strangely, though, as of the past few weeks, when [y/n] infiltrated the Marauders, he couldn’t keep his eyes off them. But he didn’t feel the same way he did when he looked at Sirius. No, no, when he looked at Sirius, he felt…warm. Happy. Content with life. But [y/n]?? Fucking [y/n]????? He wanted to tear out their spine and shove it down their Sirius-sucking throat! Like, actually. Who the bitch do they think they are? But, he kept that to himself; it wasn’t very socially acceptable to tear off your boyfriend—I MEAN BOY BEST FRIEND's partner’s nails. So, he sat there, hunched over his...his… What—what is that? Beans on a bagel?? God, British people are a bunch of freaky deakies.  Okay, okay, so he ate his bean bagel and by god was he royally pissed at the mere thought of  Sirius wrapping an arm around this hoe. But that they were actually doing it???? In front of him???? What the actual skibidi toilet??? Sirius should have his arms wrapped around HIM — wait that’s kinda gay tho.

Despite his eternal rage, time moves on. During Potions, Sirius helped [y/n] cut their dandelion roots, even though, “THEY’RE TOTALLY CAPABLE OF DOING IT THEMSELVES,” Remus explained in a loud “whisper” to James and Peter. Somehow both of them were totally oblivious to the fact that [y/n] was clearly taking advantage of his lover – I mean their age-old friend. Yep, friend. Friend, friend, friend. That’s what Sirius is to Remus, a friend. Golly, what a weird word, “friend”. Like, friend? I barely know her! Friend…Sounds weird haha. God, [y/n] is such a fucking dickwad.

Transfiguration. Turning a rabbit into a bo’oh’o’wa’er. Easy, right? WRONG! I dunno, man, shit’s hard when some stupid fucking hoebag is busy fucking giggling in your goddamn ear! “Wdym ‘in your ear’ they’re literally in the seat adjacent to you,” James said plainly. Where the hell James learned the word “adjacent” is a concern beyond Remus’ line of sight. This bitch is literally high-key on god no cap so annoying. Like actually. It’s the kind of annoying where the people in front of you are walking slowly but there’s no way to walk around them so you just have to try to not push them over times a hundred. “Lupin, your rabbit!” A girlish voice behind him squealed. In his train of malicious thought, Remus nearly suffocated the poor thing…It was [y/n]’s fault, though! If they weren’t shrieking like a maniac whenever Sirius breathed in their general direction, he wouldn’t have been so pissed off.

“Ummmm…” [y/n] hums, turning Remus’ porcelain teacup clockwise, glancing at a book every so often. They were reading each other's tea leaves, and for whatever reason, the Divination professor must hate Remus. Why else would she pair him with [y/n]? Fucking [y/n]!  At least they weren’t able to manipulate Sirius now, but still… God damn, [y/n] is such a stupid asswipe. Looking up at him with those STUPID eyes, they said, “Well, here you’ve got a…a spider web over here,” they looked back at their book, “That could represent jealousy…” DAMN RIGHT. “But in it,” they went on, “is a heart.” They looked from the drenched tea leaves to Remus. “Are you jealous of someone?” they asked innocently. Well, innocently enough; Remus could see the snakeish gleam in their eyes — the serpent that lies beneath the innocent flower.  ‘ArE yOu JeAlOuS oF sOmEoNe?’ NO YOU DUMB BITCH THAT’S STUPID. Being jealous is for pussies, and by god Remus is NOT a pussy. But y’know who is? [y/n]. Honestly, he could bitchslap that dumdum right here, right now. Who knows, it might be like in the cartoons when someone gets hit in the head a second time and they go back to being themselves. “No, that’s silly,” Remus replied calmly, looking into their pink porcelain teacup.  Crack! Remus is holding [y/n]’s cup so calmly, he accidentally cracked it! Once again, this is obviously [y/n]’s fault! If they weren’t so stupid, he wouldn’t have strangled the cup. I mean, hell, if they didn’t exist, all of the world’s problems would be solved! No more hunger, no more war, no more dating Sirius — Sirius would be single and ready to mingle. Ready to mingle. Ready. To. Mingle. Mingle. Mingle with Remus — wait what. 

The rest of the day continued in a similar fashion: Sirius and [y/n] h*ling h*nds, Remus strangling whatever he was holding, and James and Peter trying to calm Remus down.

Honestly, who the hell do they think they are? (“Remus, a word?”) “You look very pretty today [y/n],” Sirius cooed. (“Remus.”) Remus couldn’t see the appeal. (“Remus?”) Maybe if they ate all that makeup instead of smearing it all over their face, they might actually look tolerable on the inside — “REMUS!”  Remus snapped his murderous gaze from [y/n] to James. “Remus,” James said, gesturing to a corner (the same one Sirius and [y/n] were making out in exactly three hours, twelve minutes, and forty-two seconds ago), “a word?” No response. “Now?” “What?!” Remus hissed once they made it to the corner. “Dude what the actual hell??” “What do you mean what the hell?!” “Moony, you’ve been a total bitch all day!” “Nuh-uh!” “Yes the fuck you have been!” James whispered loudly. “Honestly, you’re being a jealous bitch!” And it was true: Remus has been a total beta all day. In fact, it was more than all day; he’d been a total beta all last week, too. And the week before. And before…and before… Then it hit him: I’m in love with Sirius.  He looked at [y/n]. They were in Sirius’ lap, a loving smile plastered across their stupid face. But it wasn’t just their lips curled in adoration, it was their eyes too. Their eyes were love-sick as they looked at Sirius.  Remus’ heart fell; Sirius had the same look on his gorgeous face when he looked at [y/n]. At [y/n].  And so, there Remus stands, the ugly scowl that crossed his horrendous, scar-drawn face when he looked at [y/n] tilted into a frown. The eyes that had gone green with envy softened as water threatened to break through them. He loved Sirius and couldn’t stand the thought of him being with someone else, yet here he is. He clumsily picked up his heart as it lay there dying.  Honestly, why was he even making such a big deal about any of this? He was a werewolf for crying out loud, a werewolf! Who on this god-forsaken earth would want to even think about being with him — hugging him, holding his hand, welcoming him home after a long night’s work with a warm smile, placing a kiss on his scarred lips. Why would someone even think about laughing at his stupid jokes, dancing the rainy night away to some slow jazz, holding him late at night, not caring that he was a grotesque beast.  Why would anyone even think about looking at him…looking at him the way Sirius looks at [y/n]? Remus loved Sirius, but it was too late. With a defeated sigh, Remus turned his pitiful gaze from his fargone lover to James. “I know,” Remus murmured, burying his heart with his fallen love.

[anonymoosen]

Tyden exes au cuz I’m brainrotted

They thought they’d never see or talk to each other again…

…but they did :3

[discipleofcringe]

Since I left the theatre I can't stop myself thinking about the world Logan left behind. (angst ahead) The TVA keeps on repeating that this is the worst Wolverine because he gave up on his world and all. So okay, he didn't help the X-men and he went on a killing spree. But that does not mean he gave up on his world... I mean, what if the TVA actually knew that he was going to leave this reality behind because it was too hard to handle and since he was an anchor being, he condemned the world? They never talk about it in the movie, but surely the reality he left is doomed now?

And isn't that why Logan tried to sacrifice himself? Saying he had nothing to go back to? Because at least that would be a good excuse to give up on the world that he hates so much. Now, he has to live knowing that somewhere, another reality is crumbling because he is not there.

Logan has a history of running away from his past (consciously or not). That's why he is always drunk, otherwise he can't function.

Now, I wonder if he has come to accept himself as flawed at the end of DP and Wolverine and that's why he seems more at peace. Or if hanging out with Wade who takes these things very lightly because he knows that life is a shitshow helped him.

[sapphorror]

Y'know... A lot of ZaDr fics have them either gradually drifting into a less contentious status quo or establishing a deeply bizarre multilayered dynamic that is nonetheless very consistent and beholden to its own rules—which works, to be clear, because slavish adherence to the rhythm of their endless 'game' is already their canon baseline.

WITH THAT BEING SAID. I think it would be very funny to depict a ZaDr dynamic in which they're like, on-again off-again nemeses. As they get older theyre gradually forced to acknowledge the true depth of their mutual attachment, but instead of actually improving themselves in any lasting way or compromising the conflicting elements into an ill-definable state of contentious codependence, they just start oscillating wildly between periods of obscenely clingy allyship and devotedly murderous enmity. There's never an in between. They'll dedicate all their energy to trying to horrifically torture each other to death, until one of them gets uncomfortably close to actually dying or an external crisis pushes them together or they just get bored—at which point, they become obnoxiously glued at the hip until one of them relapses into anxiety about their ambitions or an argument escalates past the the point of no return or they just get bored. And every time they both Really Mean It, They're Not Gonna Do This Anymore, before naturally going ahead and doing it again

[sillyguyhotline]

the fucking parallels between joe and nao as simultaneous sacrifices and participants, not candidates. joe lives and dies by the purpose of protecting sara and he is nothing but grateful and loving towards her. he forgives the group and his last actions are to smile at her so that in time she’ll try to forgive herself. he was only ever a means to an end, a method of molding sara’s behavior, and he plays his role perfectly. nao, meanwhile, outlives her purpose right out of the gate. the first person to die is the person she was only ever meant to be an accessory to and her entire character arc revolves around her rediscovering her purpose and trying to be strong on her own despite the rules of the game having no room for her. and if you choose the sacrifice ending, she fucking wins. she’s created an ending that none of the simulations could’ve anticipated and she succeeds miserably where joe failed happily. joe saves sara by embracing his purpose and nao saves sara by defying her purpose. they drive me insane