#something something good boy who's tired of going apeshit and just wants to be nice and help his best friend/kinda-crush

[sminny-wew]

There's a lot of story context missing here b/c I'm still fleshing out the overall plot but uhhhhhhhhh (throws the lyrics to "butterflies" by GAYLE from the hit movie Barbie at you followed by the lyrics to "Kakusei"/"Awakening" by Superfly from the hit movie Promare)

[mxtxfanatic]

Book of the Week: Rebirth of the Malicious Empress of Military Lineage

Author: Qian Shan Cha Ke (千山茶客)

Genre: ancient setting, josei

Rating: M (very mature, dark themes but not too graphic of depictions)

My Synopsis: What happens when a girl gets tired of being nice and decides to go apeshit? You get Shen Miao, our adorable 30+ year-old protagonist recently stuffed back into her 14-year-old self and ready to eat the flesh and drink the blood of her enemies! Using this new lease on life, she’ll methodically and maliciously ruin every antagonist’s life using the tools in her versatile skillset, including: knowledge of the future, a psychological understanding of assholes, weaponized gender stereotypes, and men. And lest we forget our love interest, Xie Jing Xing: the boy/man (cause god forbid the author know how old anyone BUT Shen Miao is…) who thought he had it all figured out until he discovered that Shen Miao is a horny drunk. See just how far they’ll go to bathe in the blood of their enemies while keeping their loved ones safe in this very long but extremely satisfying novel.

My Actual Review: It’s so satisfying to see a previously downtrodden character scheme her way into a happy ending, and Shen Miao fucking deserves it. Some reviews that I’ve seen have claimed that the LI eventually takes over her revenge schemes, but I didn’t see it. They just partner up and she uses his manpower to do what she wants. There are also places where their separate goals intersect, so it just makes more sense for him to do the cleanup. The thing about Shen Miao is that she has no issues with letting others do the work for her, especially if it’s against people she wasn’t invested in putting work against to begin with. It’s the empress in her, I fear. As for the main pair as a couple, I loved their every interaction, and their descent into romance felt natural and gratifying. Greatest thing about this romance is the fact that it truly kicks off because Xie Jing Xing did not know to guard against horny drunk Shen Miao lmao!

The translation is pretty good outside of some clunky grammar, but once you train your eyes to glaze over the the five-millionth time the translator inserts directly into the story to complain about how often the LI is described as hot (unlike every other character, I guess???) as if this book is their early 2000s fanfic, it gets even better! Another thing that may or may not be here nor there is that this author is really weird with age consistency. Like, “MC is forever un-aging while everyone else ages 2 years every few months” weird. Shen Miao is forever 14 until the time skip in which she is forever 16, while Xie Jing Xing goes from “the same age as the students” to “17/18ish” to “vaguely in his 20s” during the same course of time where we literally never see Shen Miao acknowledge a birthday in any year. As for more serious content warnings, this story involves underage relationships (including non-explicit sex, marriage, and pregnancy), rape as a weapon, (assumed) incest between cousins, child abuse, and described but not explicitly shown torture. Though there are some humorous parts, this is not a lighthearted story. Read if you want something dark with an ultimate happy ending.

Translation: complete

[birbfeeder2artisticboogaloo]

thousand autumns donghua, episode 9~

shen qiao is COUGHING UP BLOOD NOW OH MY GOD!!! FETCH A DOCTOR!! FETCH A PRIEST!! FETCH HIS CRAZY HUSBAND!! FETCH SOMEONE!!! wtf his cab is taking him out of the city, what terrible servi--OH NO IT'S BAI RONG D: bai rong: why are u asking about that old driver for, when there's a pretty lady in front of u??? 😘😘😘 shen qiao: ….i'm blind :( (also gay) OH NO SHE KILLED THE OLD MAN ;A; poor old man, rip lao wei, we never saw u but i assume u had friends or family who are missing u rn…. f in the chat for the tart's victim 😔 ahh she was hiding the sexy outfit under the plain one!! clever!! no one EVER expects the Double Outfit Gambit!! 👘👗 bai rong: come nowww yan wushi is so old and weird!!! i don't like ur boyfriend!! but i could be ur girlfriend!! i want to be ur girlfriend! hEY. HEYYYYY >:) shen qiao: pls stop touching me :( GIRL STOP THIS IS WEIRD THIS IS WEIRDDDDD ;A; oh SHIT GET EM SHEN QIAO!! THAT'S RIGHT!! DON'T LET HER BULLY U!!! everyone thinks they can take advantage of u bc ur a nice lad!! i hate it when ppl do that!! just bc he's nice doesn't mean u can hurt him! it doesn't mean u can mistreat him!! he may be KIND but he's not a fucking door mat!! >:V HE EVEN APOLOGISES TO HORSES FOR FUCK'S SAKE. HE'S SUCH A GOOD BOY ;A; shen qiao: *swoons* the old man arrives just in time to catch him again lmaooo shen qiao be looking at the sword of woe like it's a sword of WHOA D: yws: ur dying lol. why don't u be evil with me?? it'll be fun~ remember how ur pet hobo betrayed u??? didn't that suck?? aren't u tired of being nice?? don't u just want to go apeshit??? >:D SHEN QIAO JUST WANTS TO BE TRUE TO HIMSELF ;A; aww yissss more evil laughter :D ngl i really missed it, it never fails to make me laugh as well 🤣 AWW THEYRE BOTH HAPPY NOW!!!! OH MY GOD THEY'RE SO ADORABLE!!! THEY'RE BOTH JUST. SO HAPPY. I LOVE THEM. I LOVE THEM ;A; oh good he's got his stick back!! i was worried, since that twat broke it before!! poor shen qiao just can't catch a break smh 😔 maybe a broken arm, the way things are going for him 😔 THE MONK!!! i remember him!! is he going to say it?? IS HE GONNA SAY THE THING??? I'M WAITING FOR HIM TO SAY THE THINGGGG yws: i'm gonna go fetch what's his name, u go on ahead ok?? sq: wh-- yws: VIBE CHECK!!! *yeets shen qiao into the building* UH WHO IS WAIT YUWEN YOU???? IS THAT THE FUCKING EMPEROR WHAT THE FUCK I'M SO CONFUSED??? A GO DEADLOCK??? WHY ARE WHY ARE THERE SOLDIERMANS HERE??? ARE THEY MOVING?? IS THIS HOW EMPERORS PLAY GO?? BY MAKING SOLDIERS KILL EACH OTHER??? WTF???? well it's a good thing shen qiao can just. jump onto the life-sized game board. i. i sort of thought that would be cheating but. i guess not??? WTF HE WON HOW???? WHAT JUST???? WHAT JUST HAPPENED???? shen qiao beats the emperor and then politely compliments him like it was nothing. shen qiao who are u. shen qiao WHAT are u. shen qiao are u single OK WE'RE GETTING AN EXPLANATION THEN???? yeah no totally didn't understand at all :D i'm not even sure what go is called in chinese?? i think i heard.......qi?? something??? idk. also wHY ARE THERE SUCH COOL NAMES FOR GAME MANOEUVRES. WHAT IS HAPPENING emperor: lol ur good at board games, u want a job?? shen qiao, thinking: i'm in danger :) OH MY GODDD THE OLD MAN IS CALLING HIM ~A-QIAO~ IN FRONT OF THE FUCKING EMPEROR. IN FRONT OF EVERYONEEEE OH MY GOD uh-oh the monk made emperor angy. somebody better say emituofo for HIM now O_O seeing yan wushi acting polite is. EARTH SHATTERING. so strange. i'm…..shocked??? weird 👀

yws: anyway here are my evil plans. u should stay and help bc ppl will keep trying to kill u without my protection >:) sq: no thanks :) if i just let u shelter me, isn't that the same as being sheltered by mt xuandu?? i'll head out on my own :) yws, thinking: ppl keep treating him badly, but he just perseveres!! it makes me want to……HURT HIM MORE >:) wtf yan wushi u are a strange man. u are a weirdo. pls don't step on shen qiao. he's wearing white the stains will never come out yan wushi PLS lmao yan wushi trying to tempt shen qiao into going to dongkang with him is hilarious, i love the bg music as well!! it's so whimsical~ WELL WELL WHO MIGHT THIS BE??? idk him YET but he's??? kinda hot??? ngl i have a Type and it's. embarrassingly obvious smh rip birb….😔 also: the monk did NOT say emituofo. heartbreaking 😔

[koolkat9]

👀

AU Ask Game

GerEng Angel and Demon AU

This one came to me after we got that art of Ludwig as a demon. And we have Britannia angel so this au was born. Arthur is an angel who's actually not very good at being an angel and Ludwig is a demon who's not very demon-like.

And we're doing the old story of the demon and angel being assigned to a human being like the angel and devil on that human's shoulder. As I said when I first proposed this idea to my GerEng discord: The human (who I think I'm going to make Peter) is so confused that the demon is trying to get him to be responsible while the angel is trying to get him to commit arson.

Basically the two get paired up because God is tired of Arthur's bullshit and causing a ruckus in Heaven. He'd send Arthur to hell, but Satan and God came to an agreement that no more angels would be allowed to get sent to Hell. Too much paperwork and shit for Satan.

So they send GerEng to be the angel and demon for this little boy Peter. God and Satan watch it like a t.v. show.

Bit of enemies to friends to lovers vibes because they confuse and annoy each other at first. And Arthur is so bitter that Ludwig doesn't want to cause trouble with him.

I can't decide if I want Arthur to act out just because he finds it fun to cause problems or if he's trying to get sent to Hell because his brothers or something are down there.

Anyway some more specific scenes

Afonso, one of God's secretaries and Arthur's best friend bringing Arthur down to Earth.

“Promise me you’ll behave," Afonso begs

“No.”

“Arthur.”

“I thought it was a sin to lie.”

Afonso sighs, “Fine…Just…Don’t hurt anyone.”

“Don’t worry. I would never go that far.” Arthur’s gaze shifts down below as they descend to Earth. “Dylan would have my head if I did.”

---

Arthur and Ludwig actually witness the birth of their human and it makes Ludwig squirm a bit:

“First time?” Arthur asks

“I’ve read and heard about this but…Is it too soon to say humans are disgusting?”

Arthur chuckles. “Oh boy, do you have some things to learn. They are. In more ways than one.”

“God what have I gotten myself into.”

Despite finding it kind of disgusting, when he sees the baby cleaned and handed to the mother, Ludwig is in awe. Though it's kind of cute to see him react that way, Arthur gets the feeling this demon isn't going to be as fun as he had hoped.

---

With the kid still so young, he doesn't need an angel and a demon yet so if they want they can flake off. But Ludwig refuses to leave while Arthur just wants to go out and have fun.

“He’s a baby," Arthur scoffs, "He won’t even listen to us.”

“It’s our duty.”

“Duty this, duty that,” Arthur mimics, “What kind of demon cares about ‘duty?’”

“I do.”

---

Arthur and Ludwig at a bar after they get a bit more friendly and Arthur asking "Aren't you tired of being nice? Don't you just want to go apeshit?"

"No...How did you even end up in heaven"

Arthur shrugs "I ask myself that everyday."

But they share a few laughs and actually get to know each other a bit.

---

Ludwig and Arthur get into a really big fight for one reason or another. Arthur basically runs off leaving only Ludwig to help their human. Which throws the human off balance. But while the two are separated they realize how much they've come to care for one another and how much they miss each other.

Anyway, Arthur refuses to admit he's fond of the demon and that he was wrong, so he tries to distract himself with drinking, partying, etc. But his mind always drifts back to Ludwig.

With their human's balance out of wack, Ludwig goes searching for Arthur. He finds Arthur passed out drunk. Ludwig scrapes him off the floor and takes him home. On the trip back, Arthur awakes and in his drunken stupor he sobs about how sorry he is and how much he missed Ludwig. Ludwig tries to comfort him but it's hard to tell what's the truth and what's drunken nonsense.

They get home, Arthur sleeps it off, and there is some awkwardness now and they're both kind of flustered and the feelings are soon going to be getting to a boiling point.

They get together at some point, but yeah. Before I end this I actually wrote out a prologue for this:

“Luci, baby how are ya?”

It was too fucking early for this. “What do you want now asshole?”

“Now is that any way to talk to the one who created you?’

“Fuck off.”

God sighed on the other end. “If you had a swear jar you may have been able to pay Ol’ Peter off and get back up here.”

“As if I’d want that,” Lucifer scoffed, “But that’s besides the point. What the fuck do you want?”

“Well… You see…I have this angel.”

“I’m not taking another one of your fucking angels.”

“I wasn’t going to propose that,” God grumbled. Oh how Lucifer loved the sound even if he only got under his long time enemies skin just a little bit. “I was going to ask if you…I don’t know…possibly have a demon with somewhat of a moral compass.”

“What kind of shit demon has a moral compass?” 

A knock at the door brought Lucifer’s attention away from whatever retort God had for him. “Give me a sec,” Lucifer said into the phone before putting it down. He could still hear God ranting and raving, but it was garbled. Lucifer returned his attention to his guest. “Come in.”

“Sorry to bother you sir,” the demon who knocked said.

“How many times do I have to tell you to stop apologizing Ludwig?”

“So–” Ludwig caught himself and coughed awkwardly. “There is another…What do the humans call it? A Karen? Anyway, there is a very angry lady requesting to speak to you and she won’t take no for an answer.”

Lucifer groaned. This had to be the hundredth one this week. “I’ll be there in a minute.”

Ludwig nodded and with a bow he returned to his desk. Lucifer had a choice. Hang up on the annoying bastard who sent him to this literal hell hole or face something scarier than anything the deepest fires of hell could conjure up. Hesitantly, he picked up the phone. 

“Are you back? How dare you–”

“Just get to the fucking point. I have to deal with a witch and it’s best I don’t keep her waiting.”

“Okay…Are you sure? No one who at least follows some of the rules? I’m sure you’ve heard of Arthur–”

“Oh him. Chaos incarnate. Why isn’t he down here? He’s even worse than me.”

“You know we don’t do that anymore. Anyway, I had a different idea. I’ve been making this new human and they need an angel and a demon. I was hoping I could send Arthur down, but I need a voice of reason.”

“Looking for a voice of reason in Hell. What kind of places do you think–” Lucifer was interrupted by another knock.

“Sir–” Ludwig’s voice called, only to be overshadowed by garbled squawking.

“Actually…” Lucifer said, “I may have someone that would be perfect.”

[sarah-dipitous]

Hellsite Nostalgia Tour 2023 Day 82

Jump the Shark

"Jump the Shark"

Plot Description: A 19 year old boy named Adam calls Sam and Dean looking for John Winchester; the boy claims to be his son.

Would I Survive the First Five Minutes??: If there's one thing I've learned in nearly four full seasons, don't fuck a Winchester. You're gonna die. So, I think I'm good.

This week's run of episodes has been buck wild. I mean, we got backstory, pure angst, astral projection, one of the BEST and most DRAMA FILLED episodes I've seen, alternate universe, meeting god, and now secret family member. I feel like I'm just WATCHING ao3. There's one thing missing (this being Supernatural and all), but I'M not missing it.

Oh they got the back window of the impala fixed. Dean's having the ROUGHEST of mornings. He didn't look this rough CRAWLING OUT OF THE GRAVE.

I LOVE how skeptical Dean is. You really can't be too careful. At the same time, everything being presented as evidence that Adam is telling the truth, and Dean's just dismissing it as coincidence...you've never done that before, babe. The daddy issues are so fucking strong in this one. I should know, I specialize in characters with daddy issues

NO I'M NOT FUCKING CRYING. I'm not crying because Adam got the dad who took him to BASEBALL GAMES. They might not have been close while Adam was growing up, but the moment John knew about Adam's existence, he dropped EVERYTHING (*cough his other sons but really mostly Dean because Sam was in college doing his own thing cough*) to go meet him. It might not have been the perfect parent-child relationship and it was probably still fairly distant, but it's a hell of a lot more than Dean got. (Did Horikoshi watch Supernatural before writing MHA? Did he see this and go "I could do a family drama like this") John made it to Adam's birthdays but Dean had to steal Christmas presents so Sam would have something to open...I'M GONNA FUCKING SCREAM AND THEN BEAT JOHN WITH A BAT IN HELL. ALISTAIR WON'T HAVE TIME TO TORTURE ME, I'D HOP OFF THAT RACK TO KICK THE SHIT OUT OF JOHN WINCHESTER IM-FUCKING-MEDIATELY.

God, Dean, petty is a good look on you, I swear. Adam's just finding out that a whole lot of movie and mythological monsters and creatures are real, and your only comment is that Godzilla is just a movie.

GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD, sorry, I'm having so many big feelings about Dean today. He's so furious at John. He's so disgusted that Adam had the relationship with John that Dean had for a short time, til he was four, and it was ripped away from him. That was the relationship HE wanted, that HE deserved to have, and he did EVERYTHING TO HOPEFULLY MAKE HIS DAD PROUD OF HIM, followed in EVERY SINGLE FOOT STEP. BUT JOHN NEVER WAS. JOHN ONLY EVER SAW DEAN'S MISTAKES. IT'S HOW DEAN KNEW AZAZEL WAS POSSESSING JOHN BECAUSE HE FORGAVE DEAN'S MISTAKE AND DIDN'T MAKE IT A BIG DEAL. BUT DEAN'S STILL DOING IT by protecting Adam. By saying "Dad didn't want our lives for Adam, and I'm going to keep it that way." Aren't you tired of being nice, Dean? Don't you just wanna go apeshit?

(It's going to take me so long to get through this episode if I keep stopping to make Dean/Touya parallels.)

What the fuck is this monster??

Oh, Sammy, you're more like your old man than you want to admit. You find out you have a little brother and it's IMMEDIATELY "let's train him to be a hunter, he needs to be ready for anything that might come after him." You would hardly believe this is the same Sam who wanted to walk away from this life, who did for a while and went to college and law school, who resented John for making their lives like this.

Oh, but at the same time...at the same time he thinks he's just being like Dean was for him. Doing what he can to look out for him, offering praise when he does something well...his insistence that Adam join in is very John but his approach to teaching Adam is all Dean

Sam. No. John did not do right by you boys. I can't believe you're saying this...Ugggghhhhhh, Sam wants to drag Adam down into the hell that is their lives because his chance at that got ruined. But Dean wants to give Adam the chance that got taken from Sam.

Y'all are both jealous of him...stop lying to yourselves.

Oh shit. Oh fuck. WHAT??? HOW LONG HAS ADAM NOT BEEN ADAM??? Oh...it was the whole time...cool.

So, what term DO you prefer, ma'am?

Did...did ya get that out of your system for another couple seasons, Dean? First Baby took a beating after John died, now you beat in the head of the ghoul who pretended to be the little brother you didn't know you had...What's to come near the end of season six? (Aside from my favorite Cas-centric episode)

THAT'S WHAT I SAID, DEAN!!!!! "you know why you and dad butted heads so much? you're practically the same person" and "you're more like him than I'll ever be" (derogatory)

"Been On My Mind...": No. 8...???

[with-my-murder-flute]

So here's something I really like about Cam, and Pal, and Paul.

When I was young I got told quite often, "You're a good, smart girl. Keep your head and focus on your schoolwork, don't get distracted by boys."

I'm sure in moderation that's really good advice, but I was an unpopular nerd and the only things getting between me and my schoolwork were fanfiction and my ADHD. So I took advice about being a "good, smart girl" as endorsement of my natural tendencies. I smothered my crushes, put my heart on the backburner, and got as many As as possible.

The message I got given was that caring about boys and relationships was dumb, silly, foolish, and immature. I felt like if I pursued a relationship, that's what I would become. Which... my biggest problems when I was in university were social anxiety, loneliness, and very few friends on campus. In part because I thought that wanting to go to the same school as a boy I had a crush on or friends I liked would be ✨dooming my future✨.

I was also a chronic helper and Mom Friend who would totally encourage someone I liked to pursue someone they liked because I wanted them to be happy and it was Fine! No honestly! I'm so happy for them! Excuse me I'll be right back! (SILENT SCREAM)

So for me it's incredibly vindicating how Camilla just... gets the option of being a Good, Smart Girl, or even a Strong, Independent Woman, and goes, "Fuck that. I don't want that. That makes me miserable. I want this boy, even if that changes the entire course of my life from here on out."

And she gets it in a different way than how fantasy fiction tends to handle its het OTPs. It's not anything so simple or easy to understand as either dying for him or marrying him. Her transformation into Paul is the first formation of a true soul gestalt in recorded history. They broke the fucking rules of physics to do it. There is nothing predictable or tame about their story. Paul remains a vital, dynamic character with unknown powers and a strong role to play in the future.

Camilla Hect looked my tired, lonely, Good Smart Girl self in the eye and said, Aren't you tired of being nice sometimes? Don't you just wanna go apeshit?

[takalzuoom]

Okay but for the Pirates Au because holy shit I'm fucking feral over the concept, morally ambiguous characters fucking SEND ME, may I humbly offer you the concept of Cutler Becket? Because obviously our boys are all varying versions of chaotic dumbass but the true villain of the piece, the one who makes her snap out of sacrificing her own happiness for duty is the Lawful Evil fucklord of Cutler Becket.

And because I crave NRC/RSA violence, he's gotta be one of them. Some rich, entitled noble who's been given power beyond imagination and who's never been taught empathy to wield it carefully and if you think Azul and Vil and Malleus take advantage of the situation to get what they want hoo boy is Becket so much worse.

Because MC is already so tired of being nice, so close to just going apeshit being kidnapped by what seems like everyone in possession of a barely sea worthy dingy and their cousin, at the very least they treat her like a person worth fighting for (wah wah). But Becket? He doesn't want a partner, he wants a trophy, a status symbol and a living embodiment of a fuck you towards literally everyone. He will have MC as his just to lord it over his enemies, stealing the treasure that coveted out from under their noses.

And MC is having exactly none of that shit. This time when she escapes, she's not tired, she's fucking pissed. Maybe Becket has crossed a line. Maybe he's gotten Riddle demoted and pushed him into evolving into (in my humble opinion) sexy smelly Norington who is more of a pirate than he'd like to admit. Maybe he's threatened Grim and motherfucker no one threatens your emotional support chaos demon and doesn't suffer the consequences. Maybe she hears of the blackmail Becket uses to force Crewel to grant him even more powerful and wealth out of concern for his child. Maybe he was just a little too smug about "rescuing you from the pirates" (it wasn't cute when zuko did it, it def ain't cute when Becket does it).

Either way, MC is ready to fucking take names and that is what she fucking does. Becket is about to take control of the seas? She has more than a few pirate captains who fucking owe her and she is not above using what she learned from them to manipulate them into doing her bidding. Damsel in distress who? For every time she was betrayed, every time she found herself once again tossed around by the whims of others, she learned. And she was ready to get some catharsis by taking over the seas herself, after all, who better to be the king of the Pirates than the treasure everyone sought to possess?

( I am so sorry for tye rant I have so much PotC brainrot and youve unlocked something in my soul. 🥲 you're amazing I hope you're having a good day!)

….

c’mere

just for a second cause-

oh my god.

this is pure gold. like. i don’t know what else there is to say honestly

AND IM TRYING TO THINK ABOUT WHO’LL PLAY BECKKET BUT IDK WHOOOOO

neige is already in the sorry. so maybe chen’ya??? cause he likes to fuck shit up😳😳

AND I PERSONALLY THINK CHEN’YA IS A LIL ACE AND THE FACT THAT HES LINKED WITH THE CHESIRE CAT JUST MAISS IT 100% BETTER MWAH DELICIOUS

maybe he’s son stuck up noble from heartsbyual. indeed trey and riddle’s friend who was born with a silver spoon on his mouth and doesn’t understand the consequences of his own actions

and he says how cute his little friend riddle is for trying to get back his lovely fiancé and decides to join in the fun!

no he doesn’t actually want to marry you! he just wants to keep you for the kicks of it!

[sandersgrey]

Fic Recs

Alright, folks, I've recently had cause to go through all six thousand something bookmarks of mine, so I figured I might finally do one of these. It's not even close to being all of the good fics I have saved, but these are some my absolute favorites.

All of these are completed and have happy endings unless otherwise specified.

If you try and make fun of me for my choice in fandoms, please keep in mind I have no shame and treat anon hate as fun enrichment for my habitat.

Percy Jackson

Solangelo

5: I've seen it recommended everywhere, for a good reason. Great for people who like their fluff a bit unhinged. 2k,

Touch Me: This one is for the touch starved bitches out there. Will knows that Nico doesn't like to be touched- in this specific case, Nico disagrees. 8k.

in which will solace's gentle hands pay off: Similar premise; Nico is touch-starved and he wants Will to touch him. 1k.

Jasico

joy and sorrow: Anyone else up for an Orpheus and Eurydice parallel? Jason languishes in paradise. Nico brings him back. 10k.

Ace Attorney

Narumitsu

and the tree was happy: Easily my favorite characterization of Trucy. It's Trucy-centric, and it focuses on her fixing the fallout after the truth about Thalassa comes out. 36k.

So, when this loose behavior I throw off: Edgeworth finds Phoenix during his disbarment and proceeds to play a very high stakes game of poker. 12k.

one step at a time: Phoenix decides to retake the bar after his five years are up. Edgeworth is there every step of the way. 22k.

forty years in the wilderness: Miles Edgeworth comes home five weeks after Phoenix finishes rebuilding the jury trial system. 9k.

Klapollo

and it's christmas, so no one can fix it: This is just honestly very well written. It handles Klavier's first Christmas after Kristoph- well, after Kristoph. 10k.

don't you lose my number: Five unconnected textfics, and each of them worth the time. 66k.

fame vs infamy: In which Apollo somehow lands a boyfriend by writing Klavier x Reader out of spite. 12k.

Boku no Hero Academia

Dabihawks

you're the song stuck in my head: You want some cute fake dating? I can hook you up with some cute fake dating. I'll even throw in some mutual pining. AU where Hawks is a cheerleader and Dabi is in a band. 37k.

Erasermic

on air: Mic is doing a segment on fun proposals on his radio channel. Aizawa calls in. 2k.

fusebox heart: AU where Mic has cyborg parts that need maintenance, and Aizawa is his favorite mechanic. Just like this fic is my favorite. 27k.

Tododeku

don't you just want to go apeshit?: Todoroki is tired of being nice. He chooses violence (memes) instead. 15k.

Hand to Heart: Deku asks to study Todoroki's quirk, and Shouto falls in love. 13k.

Haikyuu!!

Bokuaka

Karma: In which Bokuto offers to teach him yoga and Akaashi is a weak, weak man. 9k.

daisy rings and frivolous things: Akaashi is pining, and Bokuto has an onigiri quest for them. They get engaged. 15k.

il mio ragazzo falso: Akaashi brings Bokuto to his granparents' wedding anniversary- as his fake boyfriend. I think you know where this is going. 18k.

one in a hundred: Dating would be a lot easier if Akaashi stopped trying to break up with him. 3k.

Kagehina

your whole life on your play: Directly after his team wins the game, Hinata proposes to Kageyama. They weren't dating. (Part of a series, but can be read on its own.) 3k.

Kuroken

Please Notice Me: Instead of talking about his feelings, Kenma turns into a cat. Kuro is a sweetheart about it. 10k.

i hear my heart breaking tonight: Kenma is pining his way through the most domestic life possible. 10k.

In Another Castle: Kuroo, will you please just let Kenma buy you two a house? Domestic fluff and mutual pining. 19k.

Tsukiyama

And Everything in Between: Yamaguchi buys Tsukishima a lizard for his birthday. It's the best gift he's ever gotten. 51k.

Sakuatsu

Other Boys in Other Ports: An absolute masterpiece. Atsumu is a space sailor and Sakusa is the bartender he spends three days with every time he arrives at his port. 26k.

The Dos and Don'ts of Loving Sakusa Kiyoomi: Atsumu is tired of always getting it wrong with Sakusa, so he starts keeping a list. 15k.

Hunter x Hunter

Leopika

All Roads Lead To: Urban Fantasy AU involving a magical library and a myriad of paths to take. Kurapika is the librarian, if that sweetens the pot for you. 46k.

Immersion Learning: Leorio picks up a bit of Kuruta over the years. 4k.

Killugon

starlight and star-crossed: Killua loses all of his memory of Gon, and he thinks this boy is too good to be true. 22k.

wriggle up on dry land: Killua thinks Mito is gonna hit Gon, so he begs her to hit him instead. 1k.

Naruto

Gen

The Divided Self: Sakura knows she has no natural advantage, no clan, no kekkei genkai. So she makes herself one. 6k.

Gaalee

Suna Stories: In which Gaara gets sick, and Lee has gotten drunk- Wait, not at the same time! 14k.

Diplomatic Relations: Lee is sent as an ambassador in Suna, which is sure to go over very well. 162k.

Undertale

Gen

Trying Out a Maybe: Technically platonic charisk, but Frisk isn't quite there. Sans notices the thing killing all the monsters is acting weird. 8k. Hopeful ending, but check the tags.

memeing across time and space: It's very hard to meme from the void. Gaster still tries. 1k.

The Witcher

Geraskier

nourish: Jaskier has a habit of sharing his food. (Honestly, I recommend about everything by @penandinkprincess. It's just all good shit.) 10k.

Customs of Courtship and Marriage: Jaskier starts calling Geralt his wifey as sort of a joke, and it sticks. 14k.

A Song Of My Own: Jaskier falls in love all the time, and there's a very cute scene with supportive bystanders. Much like with penandink, I recommend you just take a look at the author's works. 7k.

The Man Made of Love: Geralt is convinced Jaskier deserves better than his love. Still, he writes. 5k.

Voltron

Klance

i like where we are (here): For anyone who likes mutual pining. Lance is coming to Keith's home with him during college break, and he is Not handling it well. 40k.

tell me again, do you love me?: Everyone knows Lance is in love with Keith, and I do mean everyone- including Keith himself. Fluff. 6k.

Terminal Velocity: Technically a sequel, but can be read on its own. Lance always falls too fast- but Keith's down bad. 23k.

DC

Birdflash

Homiesexual: For the meme lovers out there. Wally has a sexuality crisis due to his hot gym buddy, Dick, and then posts about it on reddit. Because of course. 9k.

As Invisible as the True Stars at Daybreak: They just... know each other so well... Nightwing is acting weird, and Wally is the only one who has noticed. 5k.

Superbat

to feel without a light: Bruce is out of his mind with fear toxin, but he still trusts Clark. 5k.

Timkon

Cork Board Contingencies: For people who share my belief that Tim is at his best as a feral nerd. Tim has a date with Kon and goes feral about planning it. 3k.

Shiny New Fears: Could it be?... Yes, healthy communication. Features established timkon talking through their worries as they decide whether or not to have kids. (Not mpreg.) 10k.

Trust Me to Have a Pen in Hand: High School AU where Conner always has a pen to lend Tim. 1k.

The Mystery of the Superboy Shirts: Tim is obsessed with trying to figure out where the fuck Kon's shirts keep coming from. 4k.

Jayroy

The Big Book: Another one that is frequently recommended, and for good reason. Deals mostly with Roy's addiction. Features a supportive Jason. 4k.

I Want You With Me (Always): Idiots to lovers, featuring meaningful tattoos and commitment. 3k.

if your real dad isn't present store bought is fine: baby Lian goes to Red Hood when she's in danger, so he beats up a creep for her. What's not to like? 1k.

Bluepulse

Stick With Me: A classic set up where Jaime and Bart get stuck in a cabin and have to deal with their continuous proximity. 25k.

Sanders Sides

Analogical

i'll give you the moon: Ironically, Virgil defies logic in order to try to give Logan the perfect gift. 4k.

Intrulogical

by a map half-written: Arranged marriage AU. At the last minute, it's decided Logan will marry Prince Remus instead of his twin. Logan is quite satisfied with this. 4k.

Stalker-verse: A tiny series in which Remus and Logan are each other's stalkers. Somehow, this manages to have fluff. Check the tags. 19k.

The Magnus Archives

Jonmartin

Martin Blackwood and the Power of Research: Martin really wants to talk to Jon, so he tries infodumping. 4k.

Jongerry

fool me, fool me: In which Jon fake dates Gerry so the rest of the archives gang doesn't think he's homophobic. About as ridiculous as it sounds. Textfic. 27k.

Supernatural

Destiel

six hundred sundays (and many more): Time works different for angels and Cas has always loved Dean. So much fluff. 15k.

Purgatory, director's cut: A different retelling of Castiel and Dean's time in Purgatory. Clearly. 23k.

Fifty Ways to Lose Your Lover: Screenplay format, as the characters themselves revolt against the script. Humor. 1k.

Tall Grass: Castiel plants a garden. Dean watches. 57k.

Midam

adjust to the light: AU where Adam is the only survivor of a serial killer, and his ex, Michael, seems very concerned about his safety. 69k. Nice.

for fear that you'd find out: Right after they leave the bunker, Michael and Adam have a refreshingly honest conversation. 4k.

the divergence of divine law: Thee fic for those who enjoy thinking about their time together in the cage. Check the tags. Technically ambiguous ending. 73k.

Drarry

The Pure and Simple Truth: Harry, Draco and Hermione walk into a pub. There is no punchline. There is a very well developed supporting cast though. 65k.

Wolfstar

keymash: Absolutely perfect fic. Mostly texting. Wrong Number and No Magic AU. 45k.

The Barista, The Burglar, and the Sofa: In which Remus is an anxious barista whose house keeps getting broken into by a very generous stranger. (It's Sirius.) 21k.

[needs-to-stop-looking-at-valves]

The story of Luisa and her new date was amazing (and hilarious!)! But now I’m curious, how would the fam (or just Julieta, Augustine and Abuela) react to Luisa introducing Donovan to them?

Let's absolutely get to meet the boy! lets go!

"Donnie, no."

"Just once, PLEASE, it'll be quick!"

Luisa had been with Donovan for three months now. He wasn't a bad guy, but he had SUCH a temper. Any little thing would set him off. From people who chewed too loud, from people who threw trash on the ground, or in this case, a couple of guys pointing at Luisa and talking amongst themselves. It was always people from outside the Encanto, she noticed.

"You can't just punch everyone who has something to say."

"You're right. I just punch the ones in the vicinity. They're LAUGHING at you. Aren't you tired of being nice? Don't you just wanna go apeshit?"

"No. No I don't. Come on, you said you'd enjoy this with me."

She lightly pushed the tray of cake his way. It was a cute date idea, taking her out for a drink and sweets and just talk.

"I know but I just...okay I saw what he mouthed, imma fucking kill him."

Luisa had to grab one of his hands in her own, and gesture at the table.

"Please. Stay with me."

He looked at her, at their hands, then at the floor. He mumbled as he sat back down, his face absolutely exploding in a grumpy blush.

"I...I like holding your hand."

"I know. It's one of the things that keeps you from getting mad. It's cute."

He growled at her, clearly trying to be imposing.

"I'm not fucking cute. You keep saying that shit, and I swear to god-"

"You'll pout in the corner?"

He tried to say something, but settled for gritting his teeth. She pushed the piece of cake a bit his way, and despite his sour face, he tried a piece.

"Okay, I'm calm. Now you said you wanted to ask me something, right?"

"Mhmm. I was wondering if maybe you'd want to meet my parents. Isabela and Mirabel have been talking you up a LOT. But I don't want to MAKE you go, I know it's kinda soon."

"I mean, are we talking a quick thing with coffee, or a whole ass dinner?"

Luisa shrugged, accepting the fork so she could try a piece herself. He always let her have a majority of anything they were eating. It was sweet.

"I'd like for you to meet everyone, honestly. It might be a lot, but hey after we could check out my room! I just got this new weight set, you might like it-"

"W-wait. You...want me to go to your room?"

She didn't understand why his face was red again. It was just her room, everyone's been in there before.

"Yeah! I mean it's not fancy like my mom's, but it's pretty. Unless you don't want to-"

She was back peddling, thinking this was a mistake, when he reached over to hold her hands. He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down, before speaking.

"No. I wanna do this with you. I think it's fucking stupid, but you want it, so it's not stupid. Let's do it."

"You mean it?"

"Yes I mean it. You know I just like making you happy-I know that look, don't."

"I'm gonna."

"Shut up. Shut up right now."

She leaned down to kiss his cheek, and yet again, the poor thing was burning up like a kettle. He was cute, always getting heated over every little thing.

"Thought you like liked my kisses?"

"I do. I'm just. It's stupid. And we're in public."

"Oh...are you embarrassed of me?"

"For the love of-"

He had to stand up to do this, but be cupped her cheeks in his hand, and kissed her. It wasn't anything too extraordinary, but it was absolutely precious, how much he wanted to prove how much she meant to him. When he pulled away, he had to put his cold drink on his forehead, try to cool himself down. He looked...good when he did that honestly, letting the water run down his face and...oh boy. She needed jesus for these kind of thoughts.

"Donnie?"

"What?"

"I really like you."

"...i like you too. A LOT."

------------------------

"I still don't like it."

"Agustín."

"I can't help it! The idea of a boy touching LUISA? Bothers me!"

Luisa gave her dad a look as she helped set up the table.

"Mira and Isa can date, why can't I?"

"Mija you CAN date, you're an adult. It's just. Ay, you're so DELICATE! Your sisters could kill a man, you wouldn't, you're too sweet! What if he tries something you don't like?"

Ever since Luisa was young, her dad was always a bit more protective over her, compared to the other children in the family.

"Dad, he's not like that. Watch, you'll love him."

The doorbell rang, and Luisa, excited, ran to the front door. And there he was, holding a bunch of boxes. So much so, he had to tilt his head to the side a bit for her to see him.

"Uh. Hey. I didn't know WHAT to get your family. So I just. Got stuff and-"

Luisa leaned in to kiss his forehead, cutting him off.

"You being here is enough."

"Ugh you and your gushy kushy shit- just tell me where I can put this overpriced bullcrap."

"Let me help you carry-"

Donovan gave her a glare, huffing as he headed for the kitchen.

"Shut it. You got muscles, but I'm the man here, man carries the shit. You touch a box with those pretty fucking hands, I WILL be pissed."

He set the boxes down, finally, allowing Casita to do the rest.

"Oh, Donnie, this is my mom and dad!"

Luisa was so excited to have them meet, she couldn't stand it. Julieta gave a little wave as she held onto a not so sure looking Agustín.

"So nice to finally meet the boy Luisa keeps talking about! Donovan, right?"

"That's right. But most people call me Donnie, or just Don. Unless you're my dad, then it's just 'shithead'. Nice to uh, meet you both."

Julieta accepted his hand shake, motioning towards her husband.

"I'm Julieta, this is Agustín. You'll have to forgive him, he's nervous."

Agustín was about to speak when Camilo cried out from the dining room table.

"Luisa! We gonna see Mr.Farmer's tan or WHAT?!"

Right. Luisa actually called him that once. Listen, tan lines are underrated, she stood behind that. Donovan scoffed, trying not to seem like he was blushing.

"And that's?"

"Camilo. He's my cousin."

"I wanna punch him."

"We all do sometimes. Come on, let's get you some food!"

Luisa gestured for him to take a seat at the table, before looking at her parents.

"First impressions?"

"He...has a lot of messy hair? Is he trying to wear it like that?"

"And he's always scowling-is he angry?"

"He's. Always angry. But like, it's cute-"

She heard a scream from the table, and she immediately went to investigate it. Mirabel was the cause, and she was looking at a package in her hands.

"Luisa- look at what Don just gave me!"

In her hands was a thick pile of what she assumed was wool. Donovan shrugged from the table, trying not to feel pride in having a successful gift.

"I stole a bit after we sheered Lawrence the other day. I thought your sister would like it."

Luisa couldn't help but smile. So he has spiky blonde hair, so he always looked kinda mad. He was a sweetheart, all in. Everyone eventually came to the table, and Luisa ended up at her usual spot at the end of the table, with him at her side. Abuela started her questions, as she always did with newcomers to the household.

"So, Donovan. Tell us a bit about yourself."

"Uh..."

Donovan struggled with his thoughts for a moment, digging his fork into the stuffed pork in front of him.

"I'm Twenty. I uh, work on a farm with my mom and dad. We sell wool, milk, eggs, and we have petting zoo's here and there."

"A duck bit me there once."

Mirabel interjected. Donovan snorted.

"Oh that was Richard. He sucks. I would've stopped him but it was kinda funny."

"Dios- is THAT what bit you? I couldn't figure it out for the longest time."

Donovan, a bit more motivated by the talk of farm life, sat up a bit.

"Oh duck bites suck. But you should see what Elliot, our llama, did to me last week."

Donovan lifted up his shirt, making the table wince upon seeing the hoofmarks on his side. Luisa was amazed she noticed it though, given the fact that she could see how well the farm life have treated that body. Camilo, ever curious, leaned in a bit to get a closer look.

"Dude, can I touch them?"

"I would be insulted if SOMEONE didn't."

Camilo let his hand go over his frame, and Luisa swore he was looking right at her as he did so.

"Luisa, you should ABSOLUTELY cop a feel."

Donovan NOW seemed embarrassed of himself, pushing Camilo's hand away and putting his shirt back down.

"Uh...sorry. But uh yeah, that's what I do."

Agustín, definitely interested in this rather odd fellow, decided to have a turn.

"Is farming all you do?"

"Oh no, I like to box in my freetime. Lets off steam."

Félix definitely looked interested in this, finishing his bite to quickly get a word in.

"I used to box back in high-school! I was pretty good, not that I'm bragging."

Pepa chuckled as she held onto Félix's arm, recalling that memory fondly.

"Oh I remember those days. You looked so good in those shorts. You remember once, you got distracted by me, that guy sent you to the floor?"

"Hey, not my fault you looked so cute that day. If YOU were in there though, you'd have his ass, my fiesty sol~"

They shared a bit of a kiss, and Luisa noticed Donovan was looking at them rather fondly.

"...aw."

Camilo nudged Don's side, a huge smirk on his face.

"Aw, is someone the romantic type?"

"Shut up."

"You and my prima do that couple shit? Lil smoochy smoo?"

"I will fucking deck you."

"Do you guys have cute petnames and shit?"

"I am about to throw hands with a child-"

Luisa held onto his shoulder, keeping him from getting out of his seat.

"Donnie. Breathe. Remember the exercises we did."

"...okay. Breathing. Got it. I'm good."

Isa chuckled as she sipped on her wine.

"I thought you were just angry because of what people said about Luisa. No, your ass is just perpetually pissed."

Agustín lifted his head up from the plate.

"Who said something about Luisa?"

"Oh it's how they met-these guys were being just awful to Luisa. So he punched him. Then kicked him out of the line."

"I'd do that shit again too, imagining people saying all that shit to MY teddy bear-"

He stopped as soon as he said it, regretting his own words the second Camilo said something.

"TEDDY BEAR. Oh my fucking god-"

"SHUT UP. THAT WAS AN ACCIDENT."

Bruno raised a brow from his own glass of wine, judgemental as shit.

"That came out too easily for it to have been an accident. You actually call her that, don't you?"

"I will square up old man."

Donovan's face was beet red, and despite the fact that it was cute, she still leaned over to hold his hand under the table.

"It's okay. I like that name. And I know you like yours~"

"Oh my god, don't please."

"I call him snuggles."

Donovan banged his fist against the table in humiliation, steam coming out of his ears.

"Question-what's the quickest way to the roof? I'd like to jump off of it."

Bruno used his arepa to gesture upstairs.

"Up the stairs, to the left, climb up the vine, should only take you a minute tops."

"BRUNO!"

Pepa smacked his arm, and Bruno gave a 'what the fuck' look.

"I'm being helpful!"

Agustín gave him another nudge too, before looking at Donovan.

"It's nice to see you make Luisa happy. That's something you intend to keep doing, yes?"

"Hey. I know EXACTLY what you're getting at. And let me fuckin' tell you something old man,"

For a very scary moment, she swore Donovan was about to get up and try something, just from how bad his glare was right now, when he seemed to settle back down almost immediately.

"If I ever hurt Luisa- full permission to kick my ass. You can kick my ass, her sisters and her uncles can kick my ass, I'll kick my OWN ass, even! Luisa is. Way too special to let some stupid guy hurt her. Or girl. Whatever. If I didn't think I made her happy, I wouldn't be here. So, enough pussy footing around, let's be up front. Imma love the SHIT out of her. And I need to stop talking because this is. A lot."

He settled in his seat after that, honestly a bit overwhelmed with himself for popping off as he did. At first, no one knew what to say from his outburst, when Antonio piped up.

"Camilo's girlfriend has bunnies. Do you have bunnies?"

"No, but I WANT bunnies-Camilo do you have pictures?"

"I might have one. Hundred."

"Gimme."

------------------

He fucked up. He stood there, waiting for Luisa to walk him home (he just. Got too nervous at the idea of going up to her room), while she was wrapping it up with her parents. He threatened three members of her family, he kept raising his voice, and he just. Made a goddamn scene. He straightened up upon her coming out and shutting the front door.

"You ready to-"

"Lulu I am SORRY. I must've REALLY embarrassed you. I get if your family doesn't want me around."

Luisa snorted at him, and if it wasn't so cute, he'd be pissed as hell.

"No, only one embarrassed is you. My parents loved you back there!"

"...are you serious?"

"Yeah! Mom thought you were adorable, dad really thinks you meant what you said, and most importantly, Abuela likes the fact that you're a hard working, honest guy. Stuff about you I already knew."

"I...oh."

Oh my god. They liked him. Her family liked him! HOW? His own dad didn't like him! Luisa held out her hand to him, smiling.

"You wanna hold hands, or are you gonna erupt on me?"

He said nothing as he reached for her hand, and they made the walk back to his home. He rubbed the back of his head as they eventually neared his home.

"Thanks for uh, not telling them about THAT nickname."

"What? You mean Schmoopy?"

"Yeah. That one. I...kinda like it better when it's just between us. It's dumb and it's stupid and it's...special to me."

They eventually made it to his door, and she leaned down to kiss his forehead.

"You're special to me, Don. I appreciate you coming to meet my family. Even though you looked ready steam back there-"

"You haven't begun to see how hot I can get, princess."

He had no idea where that came from. Just that it was HER turn to have a cherry red face. He should feel bad for flustering her, but he couldn't. Not even when he went on his toes, and gave her a kiss. A proper one. One that when he pulled away, made those pretty eyelashes flutter and...shit.

"I'll uhm. See you tomorrow. I'm going inside. Night."

He went past his door, screamed into his hand, and punched the wall hard enough to make a hole in it.

"God. Dammit. She's. So. Fucking. Pretty."

[voidsentprinces]

Job Quests

Gladiator: A woman leading a guild after her two companions had a falling out resulting in the death of her father. Years later turns out the guy everyone thought did it was innocent and the other dude was jealous and power hungry so she grows to learn the truth and becomes better for it.

Paladin: A dude who is inspired to become a Paladin but keeps getting gaslighted by the asshole who inspired him.

Marauder: Smash a bunch of rocks and then take down an over grown moose to avenge a boy's dead parents.

Warrior: The best way to harness your short temper is to use it in defense of those you love and care for.

Dark Knight: Aren't you tired of being nice? Don't you want to go apeshit? Well, maybe go apeshit when you have something to defend and don't forget, you cannot save everyone but you can do your damndest for those you have left.

Gunbreaker: Start off doing mercenary work and then if you're lucky, you have to fight Sephiroth more or less.

Pugilist: An old dude and has youthful protege definitely committing fraud but his old pupil and rival show up. So you gotta beat the elderly to save the guild.

Monk: The last heir to the Ala Mhigan throne who keeps having to deal with the sins of his sire.

Lancer: Start training as a lancer but get into a pissing contest with a dude who faces Gridania's racist beha--and he fell off a cliff. Let us never speak of this ever again.

Dragooon: Estinien is a dumbass. The Dragons are good actually. This one just needs to remember who she is!

Rogue: Someone set us up the bomb

Ninja: Proto-Fandaniel fucks with Doman Shinobi and you just have to go along with it. After that, its just Naruto filler episodes.

Samurai: Become an honorable samurai and then put down the most unhonorable of samurai including your mentor.

Reaper: Your trainer is a grizzled Garlean Matron leading a ragtag band of mercenaries. But when a trauma of her storied past re-emerges, literally, you hunt that sucker down and give her her justice.

Conjurer: Look at this little shit trying to forget her past by being the best there is. The kids got heart though much to the chagrin to the ten thouse year old kid who leads your guild.

White Mage: You're here to be a family councillor.

Arcanist: Meet this cat girl, she has some trauma from this pirate. Dance for her mentor for the fun of it then punch out the pirate.

Scholar: You're here to be a couples councillor.

Astrologian: Its miracle astrology last this long with how much of a shit show Sharlayan and Ishgard are. Luckily the only competent woman doing Astrology is here to help, reluctantly.

Sage: How many backstabs and plot twists can we stuff into 10 levels?

Archer: Start training as a archer but get into a pissing contest with a dude who forces Gridania's racist behavior onto a cat girl making her almost join some poachers--and he said he was sowwwwwwyyyyy. Let us never speak of this ever again.

Bard: Learn from a storied bard and help him work through his guilt. Then ship two men as you travel across the realm.

Machinist: Everything from classism to arranged marriage can be solved with guns.

Dancer: Death and stress of death are imminent, dance like there's no tomorrow.

Thaumaturge: Begin training as a mage but then become a baby sitter. But oh no the baby is possessed by a powerful voidsent! Kill the voidsent and save a family of like...Nonupletes.

Black Mage: Give a powerful Black Mage the death he feels he deserves by gaining to much power but accidentally sacrificing his friends in the process. Then beat up a Black Mage fan club and watch romance blossom between a cleric who won't stop calling a woman a heretic and the aforemention woman possessed by the greatest black mage who ever live. Then I dunno...stop a meteor shower or some shit.

Summoner: Here's Y'shtola's sister. Gain the power of the gods and anime on your side. In the process beat up a man best described as "IM A GENIUS! OH NO!", a group of Ascians, and I kind of forget what happens after that.

Red Mage: The hottest man in the world teaches you how to red mage. In the process you'll adopt an amnesiacstic woman, beat the hot man's old class mate and then kill a Voidsent Royal. All while the man becomes increasingly sexier with every cutscene.

Blue Mage: What if we turned a con job into a humanitarian effort?

[distortedataraxia]

If requests are open, I hope it's okay if I request a matchup 🥺 I'm a bisexual transdude. I'm a pretty big introvert, if I go to big social things, I will need like a full day to myself at least after it or else I will have an emotional breakdown from being burnt out. Despite that, I'm a childcare worker and I adore my kids so much, little ones are my specialty. It's my dream to be a dad one day! I'm a very domestic person, my hobbies include cooking, baking, and drawing. I'm also super into fashion and like looking good whenever I go out. A malewife, some would say /hj.

I'm a big people pleaser with social anxiety, so I tend to be reserved and overly polite when I first meet people. This also tends to make me a bit of a doormat. If you mistreat me, I'll of course be upset, but I'll bottle it up and won't voice my complaints because I hate confrontation. Plus I'm an angry crier and I hate crying in front of people. I constantly have the attitude of "I'M TIRED OF BEING NICE. I'M GONNA GO APESHIT." But I never go apeshit because I need everyone to like me so much all the time.

I'm super loosened up around friends though so I can be sarcastic, teasing, and cuss quite a bit. I tend to have a bit of dark... Dazai-esque humor sometimes, it's a habit, not as bad as it used to be. I'm also pretty dirty minded lol. Also, if my loved ones need something, my anxiety will go out the window, I'd fight anyone for them.

aaaaa this is getting long so I'm so sorry, I'll just state a few more facts

- I love anything horror. Movies, video games, haunted houses, esc.

- My cats are my babies and are at the top of my Favorite People list. I like all animals though!

- I'm punk-eque I guess with a love of rock n' roll, motorcycles, and tattoos. I am my father's son lmao.

- I have a big weakness for anything cute. I have impulsively spent $20 on a bunny plush. Help.

- That being said, I'm usually super cautious with money and encourage others to do the same.

- One time I cried after killing an ant bc I put myself in its shoes and "Oh my god, he was just walking around and living his life. And now it's gone. He's just suddenly DEAD. Oh my god."

Ummm I think that's it. I really enjoy your writing and you seem really nice and I hope you have a good day ❤️

Author note : Hello !! I'm so so so so so sorryyyyyyy for the time i took to work on your request - I haven't been active at all and i don't feel like i have any valid excuse, just me being emo/20 lol. Anyways I'm sorry this is rushed and i'll doubt you'll see this but i'll do it anyways,- still sorry ! You have a good day too and take care ! 💜also i didn't know if you wanted to be paired with a girl or a boy so i just did whatever came to my brain as other people are waiting - I'm sorry this is completly my fault TT-TT If you wanted to be paired with the other gender you can request to me again that won't bother me! I won't make you wait months-long this time... I think 🥲

I pair you with.....

Ranpo!

I can already see you looking at horror movies with him with A LOT OF FOOD- Ranpo also likes cats so i'm sure you'll take care of some together - Ranpo likes to play video games too as he plays some with yosano, i'm sure he'll find a lot of time for you and him to play together ! if you go to Haunted houses together, i'm sure he'd be amused by your reactions as he already figured out where everything is and what will happen.. Or maybe he can be taken by surprise..? Who knows - that's for you to imagine ! As he is really smart no shit sherlock he will probably figure out when something is bothering you so you won't even have to say it ! I'm sure this man will beg you to bake or cook things for him and then will eat almost everything in the blink of an eye - Goodluck with that! Ranpo will be careful with you, i can already imagine a dramatic plot where one of your loved one is in danger and it's too dangerous for you and he's gonna save them but you find out and he tries to stop you from going there and then idk boom drama and- yeah -

[sapphim]

please tell us about the kirkwall campaign and warden hexcrawl too!

the warden hexcrawl is this massive game that's been running in vigil's keep for over a decade now. with a west marches campaign you don't need to get a consistent group together, you can just collect anyone who's available to play at a given time and throw together an adventuring party. at this point the map is enormous, spanning multiple planes of existence. they've cleared entire megadungeons. everyone ends up collecting a stable of characters they can choose from based on party comp and desired level of play. dm-ing your first session is something of a rite of passage. it spun off from whatever informal game they played around the campfire during the blight but since then it's evolved into what is essentially an institution.

the kirkwall campaign is. something else entirely lmfao. varric's a really well-practiced and flexible dm now but booooy did they get off to a rough start because he built an entire campaign around the party behaving essentially as he expected them to, and that plan was ruined the moment they rolled their characters.

I’m cutting this for length here bc christ it’s so much. if it’s too much then blame @sandayuoda

anders. ruins everything immediately because varric was expecting him to play a healer and instead he turns up with this extremely chaotic revenge-motivated edgelord of a character. he's tired of being nice and sometimes he just wants to go apeshit, you know? this is the only outlet he has for stress release these days. he shows up to session one and shows varric his character sheet and varric's like "what the fuck" and then he hands varric his 20 pages of tragic character backstory (he read the campaign document and tied his character's backstory into the setting) and varric's like "what the everloving fuck blondie." varric had littered that thing with red herring villains and clever misdirection (he thought) and anders immediately pinpointed the intended bbeg of the campaign (not!Meredith) and made his tragic backstory revolve heavily around her. who actually reads the campaign document??? well that was lucky for him, since eventually leaning on this backstory becomes one of the only ways he can keep the campaign moving forward. also, anders outs himself as a closet furry by playing catfolk, to the surprise of absolutely no one.

aveline. predictable human paladin type. claims to be LG but ultimately plays more like LN. at the start she's one of the only things keeping the party on the rails but eventually just ends up following them around and tutting disapproval (much like in real life). she's that player who writes a completely normal character with a completely normal backstory and family waiting for them back home so the dm has to continually jump through hoops to provide them with character motivation to continue adventuring.

bethany. absolutely does not want to play a spellcaster. plays instead a sort of martial ranger/hunter build and dumps everything into animal handling. essentially plays a pretty disney princess except everywhere she goes she’s followed by a small army of feral animals she's befriended and trained to fight.

carver. plays some sort of magus/gish type, because yeah ok magic is cool, but swords are cooler. crossplays as a female character and it's no big deal but it's also really, really hard for the party to keep the pronouns straight because she's a hot-headed veteran so he's essentially just playing himself.

fenris. just a fighter guy. (varric: "really, broody? an elf with a big sword?" fenris: "I was told I could be what I want. is that not allowed.") his character has no backstory and needs no backstory. he is here to roll dice and his character is a single child and an orphan with no ties to anyone or anything so stop asking. deals the highest dpr in the party as he eventually gets sucked into reading charop guides and thus becomes the only one among them who is even a little bit optimized.

isabela. every party needs a chaotic neutral rogue and she is happy to oblige. something fun and sexy and chaotic like a tiefling. (isabela: "what? I'm optimized. I put all my skill ranks into seduce and fuck" varric: "those aren't things and you haven't found a single trap since the game started") on a mission to get loot, start bar fights, and flirt with every npc she encounters. (she always asks to touch their chest hair. she may just be flirting with varric. it becomes a running gag that every barmaid in varric's world has a lustrous carpet of chest hair.) tbh isabela is one of the only players behaving exactly as chaotically as varric expected, he just hoped she'd be outvoted.

merrill. plays a chaotic good barbarian type, some massive dude. she does the best deep growly voice she can manage. she just wants to try something fun and different! her barbarian is also a real sweetheart and probably the most unoptimized character, with the highest intelligence of anyone in the party.

sebastian. also ruins everything immediately with his character. (varric: "choir boy, you can't play a fiendpact warlock, you're... you know... you!" seb: "...but this is a roleplaying game, right? I was told this was a roleplaying game.") also plays a tiefling, which is his repressed slutty side coming out. he and isabela didn’t plan this out but she finds it hilarious and they get together after the session and plot out a joint backstory in which they do crimes. after he makes one too many off-handed jokes about his dark patron being "basically [his] evil grandmother" varric starts playing her like elthina but he'll never admit it.

eventually the party's rolling up into town followed by a pack of wolves, an owlbear, an alligator, and a murder of ravens

isabela and hawke ask simultaneously where the nearest tavern is

seb's like "oh varric remember it's getting time I need to appease my dark patron again"

aveline sighs and says "I'll be making donations at the temple I guess"

varric just holds up his stack of notes for the town and tears them into pieces in front of them

"I may as well just rip these up right now and get it out of the way because we all know how this is going to end"

"how is it going to--"

"in disaster, merrill, that's how it's going to end. that's how it always ends."

anyway that was then. they've been playing the same characters for years (as varric has pulled increasingly absurd threats for them to face off against out of his ass) so now they're prestige classed epic level abominations of characters. hawke highkey prestiged into dragon disciple and later found a way to permanently polymorph into a full dragon at some point, I'm sure.

[aurora077]

The word is 'attempt' (Chapter 1)

Summary: Not this again! Jiang Yanli has had enough. No more Mrs. nice girl. Her parents really need a proverbial slap in the face and she is going to give it to them. Set after the Xuanwu cave.

Disclaimer: I do not own MDZS/CQL. Parts you recognise are from the novel.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13962595/1/The-word-is-attempt

Chapter 1 - Aren't you tired of being nice? Don't you just want to go apeshit?

Jiang Yanli loved her younger brothers. That was a fact known to the entirety of Lotus Pier. It didn’t matter what trouble those two got up to, at the end of the day she would always be waiting for them with a smile and possibly some soup. Their people loved to see them all together, doting on them whenever they crossed paths with free food and little trinkets. Secretly, they were glad that the siblings were so close. It was an open secret that the adults in their household were...in a volatile relationship to put it mildly.

Nobody knew how Jiang Yanli turned out the way she did, but everyone loved her for her mild manners, gentle smile, and the way she would parent both her little brothers, showering them with the love and affection that was sorely lacking from their lives. Wei Wuxian, the little troublemaker, had lost his parents as a small child, and lived on the streets until Sect Leader Jiang found him. Despite this he remained a cheery, playful child and his laughter was often heard after having caused some mischief, followed by the scolding of his martial brother, who endearingly tried to uphold his image as sect heir, but also couldn’t help getting caught up in his shixiong’s schemes. Their little sect heir tried so hard to be proper and stern, always concerned about his image and the reputation he was giving his sect, but he was still a child. Something the townspeople often thought his parents would do well to remember.

Regardless, the day came when Qishan Wen decided that all the sects needed to send their heirs to indoctrination, and the people of Lotus Pier worried about the fate that awaited the children (really teenagers but to them they would always be kids).

Jiang Yanli worried most of all. So when their sect heir, Jiang Wanyin, returned to Lotus Pier, bedraggled and looking very much worse for the wear without Wei Wuxian, they feared the worst.

Yanli despaired when she heard A-Cheng’s story. A-Xian was with Second Young Master Lan in a cave, confined with a legendary beast of nightmares. Her father of course immediately gathered the disciples and had A-Cheng lead them back to the cave. Yanli would have preferred her little brother stay behind; he was exhausted and in terrible shape, but he was needed to lead them back to A-Xian and so she didn’t protest.

By some miracle, Wei Wuxian and Second Young Master Lan managed to kill the beast, but they were both severely injured and A-Xian was unconscious and feverish. She and A-Cheng took to sitting in his room, both worried about him and discussing the events of the past few weeks. Neither of them would leave A-Xian alone, they decided, through unspoken agreement...always there would be one or the other at his bedside. They had both been so afraid of losing him. She was so proud of both of her brothers, but she would always wish them to be safe and sound rather than heroic. What A-Cheng told her of what happened, on his end at least, was so incredibly dangerous and she just knew A-Xian that would most definitely end up downplaying the danger that he was in.

She was reading a book when she took another peek at the bed, only to see him blink awake and stare at his headboard.

She raised her head with a smile, “A-Xian!”

“Shijie!” he struggled to lift himself up and began shooting rapid fire questions at her, “I'm back? When did I come out of the cave? Did Uncle Jiang take people to rescue me? Where's Lan Zhan? Where's Jiang Cheng?”

“What are you shouting for?” said Jiang Cheng, as if he was summoned. “Sister, the soup that you boiled. I brought it over.”

It was telling that he brought only one bowl. This soup was for his shixiong. He didn’t intend to eat any himself even though he loved it as well. She smiled internally as she ladled a bowl for A-Xian and ignored their bickering. That was the way they showed they cared. Neither was good at expressing feelings to the other.

She reached over to wipe soup off A-Xian’s face as Father entered the room and she took away the bowl, not missing her father’s longing glance towards the pot. Too bad though, if A-Cheng could restrain himself, Father would have to as well.

Having left to go to the kitchen she missed the next part of the conversation, but she slipped back into the room just as A-Cheng was asking why A-Xian would let Second Young Master Lan take all the credit when they both killed the beast. Privately she agreed with him that it was unfair; she knew that A-Cheng was showing his concern that his brother wouldn’t get the credit he was due. Well in any case, they could give him credit.

“Well done,” Father praised.

“Congratulations,” said Jiang Cheng, staring at his shixiong with a mix of emotions. Yanli’s heart hurt at his tone. She could read her little brothers well. A-Cheng was really proud of A-Xian; he was glad that he was praised for his admittedly impressive deed, but at the same time their father hadn’t said a word to him about his part. No ‘well done’ was ever directed at him. Not even an ‘I’m glad you’re safe.’ True, he hadn’t killed a legendary beast, but he had helped evacuate all of the sect heirs from the cave and had struggled without a sword, without food or water for a whole week to get back to Lotus Pier to alert them to what happened. And without any real time to rest and recuperate he had immediately headed out with a delegation to find his shixiong.

Wei Ying might have helped kill the beast, but Jiang Cheng was the one who ensured that the rest of the sects even had heirs remaining alive to succeed them, the one that helped search the mountain and then helped to dig through all the stone blocking the cave entrance to save his shixiong (and Lan Wangji.) Nobody could have known that they would kill the beast. But despite thinking that the boys might be dead and that they would have to face the Xuanwu themselves when they finally managed to get into the cave, A-Cheng had gone with their cultivators to rescue them or bring back the bodies. He had gone into the cave not knowing if their brother still breathed, not knowing if there was even a body left to bring back, and not knowing if he’d be able to get out and escape the Xuanwu a second time even if there was.

A-Xian laughed, the kind where he was sure something was wrong and was trying to give the situation some levity, "What a pity that you weren't there as well. Or else, you'd be able to share some of that credit…..Lan Zhan…..boring….” He continued speaking but Yanli wasn’t hearing him. She was looking at the play of emotions on A-Cheng’s face and she could tell immediately that A-Xian had misunderstood.

Wei Ying tried his best to keep things light whenever he sensed that Jiang Cheng was upset, but often enough he didn’t know what he was upset about. A-Xian thought that he was feeling left out, but that wasn’t it. A-Cheng wasn’t simply jealous that he didn’t get a chance to kill the Xuanwu, he was upset that his shixiong could have died and he was upset that even after he almost died he was giving Second Young Master Lan all the credit and he was even more upset that their father did not seem to care at all that it was dangerous and was giving praise without concern (it was all Father talked about since they got back, how proud he was). He was also upset on his own behalf of course, but the jealousy he felt had nothing to do with wishing he could have helped kill the Xuanwu of Slaughter and more to do with his father’s effusive praise for just Wei Ying.

Instead of being able to say any of those things of course, her little brother just reverted to his usual means of coping with the tumultuous emotions roiling within him. Aka...he got angry and lashed out.

“It would have served you right to be bored to death,” he snapped, “You shouldn't have played the hero and you shouldn't have cared for such a hell of a thing. If in the beginning you didn't...”

Suddenly, Jiang Fengmian spoke, “Jiang Cheng.”

Jiang Cheng paused, knowing that he had said too much. He was quiet at once. Jiang Fengmian didn't look as if he was blaming him for anything, but his expression had turned from calm to more solemn, "Do you know in which ways what you just said is not appropriate?" A-Cheng's head hung low, "Yes."

Yanli was aching. A-Cheng shouldn’t have said it yes but his bigger mistake was saying it in front of Father.

A-Xian, knowing the way he and A-Cheng interacted was just their way, and knowing A-Cheng said things he didn’t mean when he was in a temper, tried to defend him, "He's just angry and speaking without care."

Jiang Cheng had a mulish look on his face because of course his father never understood him. He was always only seeing his flaws.

Seeing how Jiang Cheng's mouth and heart were still at odds, to his father he still appeared defiant. Jiang Fengmian shook his head, "A-Cheng, there are some things that can't be said even if you're angry. If you said them, it means that you still don't understand the motto of the Jiang Sect, that you still don 't... "

"Yes, he doesn't understand, but what does it matter, as long as Wei Ying understands?!" like a strike from Zidian, Mother swept inside with stinging words and bringing in with her a cold breeze, "'To attempt at the impossible' is exactly how he is, isn't it? Fooling around even though he knew that it'd bring trouble to his sect?!"

Father sighed, "My lady, what are you doing here?"

"What am I doing here? What a joke that I am asked such a thing! Sect Leader Jiang, do you still remember that I'm also the leader of Lotus Pier? Do you still remember that every inch of the earth here is my territory? Do you still remember, between the one lying there and the one standing here, which one is your son?"

Not this again. Yanli’s nerves felt frayed. Just why did they need to do this? A-Xian should be resting.

Such questions they had all heard countless times throughout the years and so he was no stranger to them. "Of course I do, " Father answered, sounding tired. Mother laughed bitterly, "You do remember, but there's no use if you simply remember. Wei Ying, he really can't take it unless he stirs up some trouble, can he? If I had known, I would've made him stay in Lotus Pier properly and not go outside. Could Wen Chao really have dared to do anything to the two young masters of the GusuLan Sect and the LanlingJin Sect?” Yanli was growing angry. How could mother blame A-Xian for the arrogance of the Wens? She wondered if mother had somehow forgotten what the Wens did to Cloud Recesses. Sect Leader Lan was dead! What did she mean if they would dare do anything to the young masters? Even sect leaders weren’t spared!

Oblivious to her daughter’s mounting frustration, Madam Yu continued,“Even if he did, it'd mean that they ran out of luck. Since when was it your turn to play the hero? I'm saying this right now. You can just wait. One day, he'll definitely get our sect into some big trouble! "

Luck! Did mother attribute the loss of life to simple luck? If they could go after Gusu and Lanling’s heirs that wouldn’t be them getting lucky. And did Mother think that Lotus Pier was so lucky then that if A-Xian didn’t go to the indoctrination that Lotus Pier would be spared if even the young masters of Gusu and Lanling ran out of luck? Who’s to say A-Cheng wouldn’t have been out of luck too? Would she be so blasé about it then if her own son was one of the young masters killed because he was out of luck?

Father stood up, clearly trying to avoid another argument,"Let's talk when we get back." Mother sneered, "Talk about what? Get back to where? I'll be talking about it right here. I have nothing to be ashamed of, anyways! Jiang Cheng, come over here."

A-Cheng looked torn. After a moment of hesitation, he moved to Mother's side. Holding his shoulders, Mother pushed him forward for Father to see and Yanli felt her face going red from the anger of her little brother once again being caught in the middle of their marital disputes.

"Sect Leader Jiang, it seems that some things I have to say. Look carefully—this is your own son, the future head of Lotus Pier. Even if you frown upon him just because I was the one who bore him, his surname is still Jiang! I don't believe for one second that you haven't heard of how the outside people gossip….”

A-Cheng’s face shuttered. He was steeling himself once again for the accusations that would inevitably be thrown out by mother and not denied by father.

Mother’s tirade continued, “They say that Sect Leader Jiang has still not moved on from a certain Sanren though so many years have passed, regarding the son of his old friend as a son of his own; they're speculating if Wei Ying is your... "

"Yu Ziyuan!" Father shouted, finally losing his temper.

"Jiang Fengmian!” Mother shouted back, “Do you think that anything will change just because you raised your voice?! Do you think that I don't know you?!”

A-Cheng looked like he would cry. That was the last straw for Yanli.

“ENOUGH!”

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A/N: I really wanted to just finish this story and post it as it is the first one I started in this fandom a long while ago... but some parts have been so difficult to write (*cough* JFM *cough*) and I'm kind of tired of it tbh so I'll post it in parts and hopefully edit it more at a later date. I hope some of you enjoy it at least.

I’m aware now that the phrase ‘attempt the impossible’ is not really… translated well from the actual Chinese meaning of the sect motto. However, I started writing this fic ages ago and in the English translation, ‘attempt the impossible’ is what we get and it’s what I’m working with. Take it as an AU where it does mean exactly what it says in the English translation 🤷‍♀️

This is of course once again a canon blend of the novel and CQL. The characters’ personalities are a mix of both.

[uh--nope]

Blue Lock English Dub VA Headcanons

Lets immediately clear some things up.

•No, I dont know if theres an anime out for blue lock let alone a dub

•These are just my opinions and ideas aka HEADCANONS. This is like my personal dream cast for the english dub

•I'd love to see if anyone else has differing ideas or who they would like to see in the subbed ver.

Now let's begin~

Isagi Yoichi-Justin Briner

Every time I hear Briner's voice its always a character thats super soft or has immense baby energy (ex. Deku). And its easy for him to voice soft characters because hes soft and a literal fetus himself so I wanna challenge Briner. Just go apeshit my dude. Isagi is perfect because hes soft sometimes, but when the game starts, he's top tier serious. Also, I just wanna hear Briner curse someone out or aggressively tell someone to "MOVE!".

I'm tired of baby Briner I want BHAD BHABEY BRINER

Bachira Meguru

(AKAmywife)

I wanna cheat and say Briner again (and it doesn't help that I keep hearing Bachira as Hanako from Toilet-bound Hanako). But I actually have two other people in mind: Johnny Yong Bosch and Byrson Baugus

I think Bosch did well as Sarihiku from K: Return of the Kings and as Chakuro in Children of the Whales. Now Imma need both of them in one voice.

Baugus just needs to bring Chaotic Hinata tbh.

Chigiri Hyoma- Daman Mills

I always think that Chigiri has Disney princess vibes. And it doesn't help that Smooth-voiced Criminal Daman Mills is all I hear when he talks.

As a second choice maybe Clint Bickham. I loved Kenma's low, whispery tones. I just want those tones to be a little more cockier...?????

Kunigami Rensuke- Christopher Sabat

Sabat has literal Dad energy. Since Kunigami want to be a hero style soccer player and Sabat also voices the number one hero, All Might, I think it would be kind of fitting to have him play the Dad of this series.

Nagi-Eric Vale

Lowkey I wanna cheat again and say Mills or Bickham

ericvalekillschildrenisanoldjokefromfiveyearsagowhenhe

voicedavampirethatkilledabunchofchildrenandimsopressed

tosaythisjokebutdontwannacauseanycancelations

He's voiced swauve charcters, but theres this softness in his voice thats just about right for Nagi

Or

Or

Or

Mathew Mercer.

Rin-Micah Solusod

He can do it. I know he can. Why? I just have a gut feel thats all.

No, I actually, I have a better reasoning.

Rin's voice in my head has this raspy undertone especially when hes saying Isagi's skills are lukewarm or it doesn't make his heart dance.

Barou

I feel like Barou is always yelling at people. Its only when hes eating or doing something as mundane as walking that he chills out. I feel like Ty Mahany or David Wald can do it.

I'm also super tempted to throw Clifford Chapin (Bakugo's VA), but Barou needs to be baritone boy. AND I MEAN BARITONEEEE BOY. So I'll throw in Joe Daniels in there just because of that.

Reo

When I first saw Chigiri I thought he was a lil overdramatic princess, but Reo is truely Drama Queen(TM). So I want him to have a nice balance of bratty but he also knows what hes doing...time to time. I wanna throw Ian Sinclair out there. Blake Jackson did pretty good in Run with the Wind so I think he or Jarrod Greene have the ability to bring Reo in existence.

Junpachi Ego

Ego has this local-weirdo-cares-for-no-one attitude. As well as this throatyness(?) in my head. So I'll cheat again and say Eric Vale maybe...? Or even better Aaron Dismuke. Yeah, definitely Dismuke is performance with Senku (from Dr. Stone) was the kind of cocky attitude voice that I would hear in my head when reading. It shouldnt sound like Senku, but a more crazier(?), softer(??) tone(?????).

Other actors I would like to hear

Justin Cook as a second for Kunigami

Trina Nishimura or Caitlin Glass as Anri

Alex Organ as Jyubei Aryu

Conclusion

Making a VA headcanon list is hard lol. Its like looking up what sort voices are in your head while also making sure you dont forget what they sound like while also trying to remember what other character VA had voiced sounded like. What does that mean? No, I didnt look up how VA sounded like, I just looked at their "Behind the Voices" page and tried to remember what that character sounded like. If I couldnt remember I kept scrolling until I found one I did...as if I'm some sort of casting director lol

Does anyone else have any (better) suggestions?

[clanonadventures]

𝗟𝗶𝘀𝘁 𝗼𝗳 𝗿𝗲𝗾𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗼𝗻𝘀

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Dutch anon - dutchy

☑ Platonic - ☑ Romantic

Facts

-Preferably goes by she/her

-They/them would also be fine

-Fairly tall

-M e s s y a s s h a i r

-Struggles to speak English

-Her room is full of orange, red, white and blue

-First option to anything is just violence

-Very athletic (but competitive)

-Gets hurt a lot while sporting

-Overworks a lot, so she barely get sleep

-Don’t insult her s/o if you enjoy not having someone go apeshit on you

-Give her a tulip and she’ll melt

-good friendship with rhinestone 👌

-Loves all pets of the other anons

-Pls pet her tail, she loves it <3.

Design

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Squid anon - Squiddy

☑ Platonic - ☑ Romantic

Facts

-19 years old

-Works at Anon city (AC) Aquarium

-Obsessed with sea life and pirates

-Is bi

-Occasionally wears a squid hoodie

-Was kicked out of the house at 16

-Loves musicals

Design

Her eyes are purple

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ENON

☑ Platonic - ☑ Romantic

Facts

"A chaotic trickster entity with a dark and mysterious past that takes a form resembling that of popular character ENA. ENON shares many similarities and mannerisms with her counterpart, but is know to be more brutal. A lawful evil type to be sure. Her moral compass is a roulette wheel. Just wants to be entertained.

Come to think of it, I don't really think ENON had an "original form" Like she just kinda existed as a spirit/eldrich demi goddess who had it really rough before deciding to join the physical world like 'all I know is cause problems on purpose- what is love and friendship'"

Design

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Satyr Anon

☑ Platonic - ☑ Romantic

Facts

-Loves horror movies and scary video games

-18 years old and already wasted her entire life-

-Aspiring Therapist/Psychologist, is the mom friend ™️. Very sweet, with sarcastic and wise advice whenever she's needed

-Never gets enough sleep, ever.

Design

She is actually a Satyr (goat ears, goat lower half with mostly human top half, long tail, horns, etc) with thick mane of white hair.

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Peacock Anon - Viernes

☑ Platonic - ☑ Romantic

Facts

-24-doesn't have a gender, but goes by she/her

-shapeshifter of sorts

-if she becomes overly stressed (which is somewhat often) her face begins to crack and give way to static

-only reveals her true form to people she trusts a LOT, and even then, she'll only reveal her true form in private

-somewhat energetic, full of herself and sarcastic

-can change her appearance to some extent (can't change her clothes tho)

-underpaid tv host

-actually quite introverted when off stage

-sounds like ruby vocaloid

Design

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Rhinestone Anon

☑ Platonic - ☑ Romantic

Facts

-He/Him

-Has had a bad past with relationships so it's hard for them to trust anyone

-Comes off as cold and unapproachable but once they trust you then they are sweet, affectionate, honest, and cuddly

-They're really fucking tall (9'3)

-They're a cuddle-bug

-Really soft hair

-Love language is physical touch

-Has never shown anyone their true form

-Big history nerd

Design

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Bug anon

☑ Platonic - ☒ Romantic

Facts

-Average height (5’00”)

-Really nice but is quiet and likes to lurk. Really shy.

-Likes bugs, drawing, video games, reading, going on walks, sunsets, forests, cats, sweets and plushes!

-Has ASD!

-Tired (™)

-Drawing later

-Tries to be optimistic when she can

-Uses she/her, they/them, it/its and bug/bugs (in no particular order)

-Asexual and aromantic!

-Age unknown, but is a teenager

-Backstory: A sentient bug who dreamed of being an Anon so they could make friends, who’s wish was granted by a strange Higher Being/entity of light and rainbows. They live among the anons now as an anon, trying to adjust to their body and life.

-Her “hair” is her antennae- DO NOT PULL ON IT!

Design

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Coke Anon

☑ Platonic - ☑ Romantic

Facts

-Unspecified age

-Has no concept of personal space

-Someone referred to coke by they/them and they took off w/ that

-Their body is like jello in their blob form

-Their voice is autotuned on command, they do it to annoy people

-The red bit is a shirt

-Was originally named E-304 but changed their named to Coke

-Can shapeshift with no known bounds

-They CAN turn into other people, but you can tell its coke by a chunk of their hair being white/red

-Kinda stupid

-Enjoys bone marrow

-Also enjoys icecream

-Was kinda lonely for a long while

Design

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Mask anon - Melian

☑ Platonic - ☑ Romantic

Facts

- She/they

- 8'7 ft tall

- she's 19

- e n d e r m a n

- friendly, aggressive is looked at in the eyes

- wears sunglasses out in public bc for some reason she doesnt mind eye contact with them

- is only comfortable with eye contact with people they're comfortable with

- has terrible memory

- sleepwalks a lot

- loves to collect toys like dolls, plushies, action figures and small toys

- s o m e h o w manages to break an exact block of anything, even concrete

- if you mention you want something, she'll bring it to you, may or may not have stolen it

- doesnt understand what is means to steal

- can purr

- changes to enderman language when talking too fast

- knows how to speak Portuguese and will change to it when curssing at something

- used to have a brother

- knows how to play the piano and acoustic guitar

- adores calm songs like Cavetown, Mitski Mitski, etc.

- has a few pet moths that live in her pockets and two cats

- t o u c h e d s t a r v e d

- treats most of the other anons like her siblings

- only the ones closer to them can call them Meli

Design

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Bamboo Fox

☑ Platonic - ☑ Romantic

Facts

- A shapeshifting fox [REDACTED]? that guards and tends to a sacred bamboo forest on a mountain somewhere in the astral sea, I don't know.

- Has no concept of gender or age, but enjoys the sound of being referred to as he, or they.

- Is very small, like about 2 feet tall when standing on back legs in fox form.

- Has a very comforting aura to them, very chill vibe

- Will invite you in for tea

- Their rapping sounds like little yips. They can't speak, no matter what form they are in.

- If he likes you, he will offer you a single piece of bamboo with sticky rice inside

- If he does not like you, he will eat your soul

Design

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Basil Anon

☑ Platonic - ☑ Romantic

Facts

Is 7' tall. Hes a tall boy

Goes by he/they pronouns though is also agender.

Can shapeshift to an extent. Cannot shapeshift his eyes though.

Isnt even really human but doesnt talk about that, like ever.

Eyes are pitch black- like completely flat black- hair covers eyes always. (unless they really trust you)

Cheerful baby! But gets depressive episodes alone! Tries to keep a smile on his face. When in those episodes he is more likely to isolate.

Has a pet chicken named fluffy. Is actually immortal. Literally. The whole anon fam loves fluffy, and he keeps a chart to see who gets to pet fluffy, and who needs to be watched (coke).

Design

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Part 2

[godwithwethands]

lmao i don't know all your shipping preferences but can i say, i much prefer sam with ba'al than with jack (this might be because i'm a high jack/daniel shipper but also, i just prefer the sam/ba'al vibe over the sam/jack vibe)

I'm a multishipper so I ship pretty much everything simultaneously: I love JackDaniel too 🥰🥰🥰 They are so cute and so good for eachother 🥺

Honestly yeah I prefer the vibe of BaalSam to JackSam as well 👁️👅👁️ But that's personal taste and interpretation of course 🥴

Oh no now I feel like explaining in depth why I love Baalsam and why I ship it... oh no... someone stop me 😩... LET'S FREAKING GO I'M GONNA EXPLAIN WHY!!!!

Mino’s “Here’s why I love BaalSam so much” aka just me gathering up the few baalsam crumbs the show writers, Amanda Tapping and Cliff Simon left in their wake....and baking a cake with those crumbs.

Before I start, PSA: English is not my first language, so please bear with me if there are any mistakes 😭

Okay so I feel like at first I can't explain it without mentioning the differences with jacksam, and to all jacksam shippers: I love jacksam to bits too and they're so good, as the show has showed us multiple times, but I miss a little spice here 😩🌶️

I will also briefly talk about things I have found in Baalsam fics that I adore in (Fic points)!! And link back to fics I love with (x)!!!!

(Mid-writing note: I realize I say a lot about Baal and less about Sam, and that is because I just think about Baal way much than I think about Sam, mainly because we have so little Baal screentime compared to Sam’s screentime. I often wonder how/what he feels and try to analyze his behavior closely. 🥺 I don’t do it as much with Sam, sadly 😭

1. The ship dynamic scale (totally made up by yours truly, me 😎)

I often describe the ships I prefer as "A is obnoxious and B is struggling to stay sane" (maybe because it is a description of my own relationship??? 🤔) (this is exagerrated for fun and giggles don't worry i am fine and happy). They are all a variation of this, in different levels. I'd say jacksam fits level 1, Jack being obnoxious sometimes but in an endearing, jokingly, "aww you're such a goof 😍😂" way, and Sam's not really struggling, she just laughs and shakes her head, her heart full of love for her man.

Baalsam on the other hand. Oh boy. They are on level 5 out of 5. What the hell. Baal is obnoxious, in the villain way. And that means, a VERY extra way. He's mean obnoxious. Putting salt in the wound obnoxious. "if you don't shut up I will punch your teeth in/shoot you" obnoxious. Sam is struggling every minute to stay sane with this crazy motherfucker. He's SO MUCH. ALL THE TIME. But joke's on her, she also thinks it's funny. 🤡 That's her sanity flying out the window.

Seriously, Sam has to put her foot down. She has to play Baal’s game and sometimes be mean too. I feel like Baalsam allows Sam to unveil her true potential. A strong woman who takes no shit from men and 2000 years old overlords. She can be 200% true, smug, mean. Maybe JackSam respect each other too much they wouldn’t dare saying/doing some things like Baalsam would  🤔 Maybe Sam is restrained by everything she lived with Jack, the respect she has for him, the 10 or so years spent having him as her superior officer.

A lot think that Sam got her smug from Jack, but I don’t agree: she was smug from the get-go in COFG. She just can’t be too smug with him around or it’d sound like insubordination. Aint she tired of being nice? Doesn’t she wanna go apeshit? That’s what baalsam is. Sam going apeshit and quitting being the perfect nice girl.

Baalsam is an explosive volcano and it ravaged me 😩💖💖💖

2. Baal is a Villain

Send him to horny villain jail!!! BONK!!! 💥🔨

Baal being a villain is VERY important. Villains are so extreme. Everything he does, he does way too hard and too much. His evil plans? As layered as an ogre. Onion. I meant onion. His wardrobe? Nothing but the finest. His love? He'd give his Queen the Universe.

I love that. Everything he does, it's too much. But it's so amazing. Urghhj I love it SO MUCH. Sam is overwhelmed 😩💖 All of that for HER?? Damn, boi either really wants to get laid with her especially or.. 🙊‼️ I love the concept of a Villain’s Love because it knows no boundaries. A villain won’t be held back by things like morals, the love they feel is disproportionate......AND I DONT KNOW Sam being able to provoke this kind of feeling in Baal’s little snake heart makes me lose my absolute fucking mind!!!!! 

Very important too: even if he becomes a SGC ally in one way or another in whatever AU, Baal will still keep his good ol' villain habits. Sam would try to tone them down, but they will always be there. You don't erase 2000 years of bad habits 😭. His first solution will be murder, and she will go "we talked about this." Classical Enemies to Lovers shit  🥴💖 (x)

(Fic point: When Baal does something so extreme yet so so soooo damn sweet for her and Sam can’t believe it??? 10/10 Or when he acts on his villain plans for distasteful jokes and that puts Sam on a tight spot and he immediately feels bad at the unfair treatment she gets because of him (x))

3. The endless verbal jousting

I love watching them being mean to each other. If Baal goes too far, she /would/ hit him, and he would turn his other cheek saying "Do it again, loved it". What a freak 🥴🌶️ (x)

Honestly I just love their little sparring matches, even more so when they do it in front of an audience. Like lmao guys..... y'all flirting in front of everyone what the hell!!! BONK !! 💥🔨 horny jail for both of you. At least Teal’c seems to enjoy their jousting  😂 He even teases them holy shit, Teal’c is the true multishipper in that show!!!!

(Fic point: When they argue and come to a fistfight (mostly Sam hitting and Baal taking or blocking the hits)? HELL YEAH!!!!)

4. Admitting the other’s qualities

I’ll start with Baal:

Baal seems to appreciate the courage Sam shows in front of him. You could explain her confidence in The Quest by saying that at this very moment Baal doesn’t have an advantage on Sam since she’s the one holding the gun. There is something else, and I will bring it up later.

Let’s talk about Reckoning!!!! The situation is different, Baal actually called for help whereas he was supposed to kill everyone on Dakara. And here goes the little sparring match in front of Jacob  🤡 Sam ordering Baal around??? Being smug as hell??? 10/10 love it

It’s the first time he sees her and he’s taken aback. He should look mad, having a woman addressing him like that. But he looks rather surprised and curious of what’s going to happen next. I can literally hear the little “Hm. Interesting.” in his head. Baal enjoys that smug look on her face. Tau’ri female who??? Who IS she!!! Quick gotta be a jerk so she won’t suspect I’m crushing super hard right now!!!! Cliff Simon decided Baal will be the horny one among the System Lords and holy shit he did just that 😂😂😂 i’m sorry i’m just incohenrently babbling at this point I CANT BELIEVE THIS, I LOVE THEM SO MUCH!!!!!!!! you thought that huge ass post was going to be me thoughtfully bringing points and evidence? nope it’s just me losing my shit.

I believe that, despite what Baal says, he recognizes Sam’s intelligence to some extent. He’s just too proud to say it clearly and is too busy testing Sam’s limits. The more I think about it, the more I feel like he really looked for that punch in The Quest. Some kind of... I don’t know... “What makes you so special, as a female Tau’ri, to be on your kind’s elite scout team? How much can you take before you retaliate, if you retaliate at all? Show me what you’re made of.” kind of thing? Baal has shown some kind of interest in Earthlings in the past. He has studied them while living among them and he seems to like how different they are from other humans, Now he knows she’s as fierce as she needs to be to survive in this galaxy.

Have you sEEN his smile and his laugh after she punched him in The Quest? AFTER SHE TURNED HER BACK TO HIM TOO, OH, MY GOD. He really wanted a drastic reaction from her and he got it.

That is a “I love me a woman who can kick my ass” kinda smile if you ask me  👁️w👁️...

What makes me think that it was a test is: after the punch and Sam’s threat to kill him, he stops being so annoying and they can finally work together. But why? Why did he care about being killed? He was a clone, there’s no way he was still hoping to steal the Sangraal from SG-1, so his mission as this one Baal clone couldn’t be fulfilled anyway. That makes me think that he was just testing Sam’s limits, and maybe having a little fun with her.

(Fic point: I LOVE IT when Baal gets access to the SGC and everyone gets on his nerves because he thinks they are all dumb as shit. But when he talks with Sam, he’s not so annoyed. She can keep up with him. Well, sometimes she needs a little help but- Maybe she’s okay to be with sometimes...(x))

Sam’s turn: 

It’s no problem for Sam to admit Baal’s intelligence. However the idea of working with him just makes her go [grimacing emoji]  😭 😭 😭 She just knows he’s gonna be obnoxious pfahahaha But!! She trusts and values his knowledge nonetheless! She knows that teamed up with Baal, they can solve anything. I believe that’s why she asks him for help so easily despite...Well, Baal being Baal.

I feel like, when you put the "it’s a matter of life and death” thing aside, Sam’s desire to learn could push her towards Baal. She knows there is a lot she could learn from him, and they can work together once he stops insulting her every 5 seconds. She can learn from him in those moments.

(Fic point: I love fics where Sam learns things from Baal... It’s usually very sweet, because Sam is absolutely adorable when she’s excited about science and Baal can’t help but melt a little bit when she smiles so bright at him. Thankful.) 

5. Sam’s kindness 

I said earlier that, as we all know, Baal is a villain. But what’s important here is that he is a Goa’uld System Lord. 

No trust, no kindness and love allowed between those guys. Those would leave the door open for treason and low blows. (See Qetesh in Continuum)

(I believe the only Goa’ulds truly in love we saw were Apophis and Amaun’et)

Now what I tell myself is: that must be pretty freaking lonely. In any shape or form. You can’t have friends, because you can only befriend your fellow godlings who will try to kill you at any given opportunity. Same for mates. 🤔 Baal is just alone at the top of his army and that’s all. What if this isn’t enough? He is different from other Goa’ulds.

What if Sam’s genuine worry and thankfulness towards him in Reckoning were the first time he had someone feel those towards him for like, hundreds, or even thousands of years? Not something distorted and stained by any slave-to-god adoration?

He is soooo surprised. He even stutters a little? At a loss for words when faced with kindness, you, galactic overlord? And she looks actually worried about him and his ship about to go down, when before saying thank you, she asks him what’s going on. I like to think that this first interaction shaped what Baal will think and feel for Sam forever....And that it made him a bit soft for her  🥺 Maybe he sees in Sam (and in the rest of SG-1, see: how much fun he’s having with them during The Quest) a possibility for friendship and maybe more, something he hasn’t considered for A WHILE. He seems to be thinking “did she really say that...wait what do I answer to this...uh....Good luck.......ok i said it. damn that was weird.” 

Also can I briefly talk about this??

Why does Sam look so embarrassed in a “Oh god right Dad is right there and saw all of that hUM.” way 😂 I don’t think she felt like it was creepy, since Baal was just responding to her kindness, and she definetely doesn’t want to talk about her being nice to a System Lord with Jacob bjfdjgbfdg

(Fic point: All I can think of is this fic where Sam gets thrown in a prison cell with a badly beaten up Baal (his symbiote is not able to heal his wounds because of a collar he wears), and she refuses to leave him there to die. They escape together 😭💖💖💖 (x))

6. Sam knows Baal will never hurt her

Maybe this is a result of Sam’s kindness in Reckoning, but Baal made it clear to Sam that he would never hurt her directly. And this is what I was referring to when I said “there’s something else” in Sam’s confidence in confronting Baal. This line below activates all of my monkey braincells because what the hell!!!!

That’s “I kinda like you” in Villain language is it not????? Out of all the things Baal could have answered to “You can kill me if you want”, he decides to say “I would never dream of killing you.” with a voice so soft... oh my god. Talking about soft....

Is it me or Baal’s touch on Sam is kind of gentle....like he doesn’t hold her wrist too tight or anything,,,,  🥺🥺🥺😭😭😭💖💖💖 Because honestly, another Goa’uld would have yanked on her arm so hard to put their hands on that hard drive but no no no he just closes his hand on her wrist and lets her go gently when she pulls out of his grip and AM I OVERANALYZING THIS?????? IM SORRY I GOT THAT TRAIT FROM MY DAD!!!!!!! we just have that tendency to watch things over and over again to notice all the small detailsssss

I like to think that afterwards, once the heat of the moment gone, she noticed that, hey. He /could/ have hurt her very badly, she was at his mercy after all. But he decided against it. Maybe because she’s the only one who’s been nice to him for literal cenTURIES????? HHHNHNHNHNHN I CANT!!!!!!!!!!! I HOPE SHE NOTICED IT!!!! And that it’s why she’s so confident addressing him like she does in The Quest.

I think I’ve addressed pretty much everything here and I’m going to talk about more things I like about BaalSam but more on the headcanon side  🤔

Miscellaneous: 

About Baal’s host:

I have said multiple times that Baal is different from other Goa’ulds, and I really don’t think it is just an act. 

He is willing to break the god act, change strategies when he realizes there are better ways to proceed, searching for new allies in drastic situations, etc etc... Baal is way more human than other Goa’ulds.

What if that was because Baal let his host’s thoughts influence his own?

Why wouldn’t there be asshole humans wanting to be hosts to asshole Goa’uld symbiotes? Just like the Tok’ra, but on the villain side? (even if Tok’ras are assholes lol) (except Jacob. I love Jacob) (And Martouf) (I don’t like Martouf but he’s the only one with Jacob that I consider a Real Tok’ra) (The other ones are hypocrites) (ANYWAY!)

I love to think that when Baal doesn’t have the flanged voice, it is his host who speaks, as Tok’ras do. I know symbiotes don’t have to talk with the flanged voice but. Having Baal and his host thinking so alike that it doesn’t matter if it’s the host or the symbiote talking makes so much sense to me. It really could explain his different way of thinking. Baal has shown curiosity for humans and how they think, how to better manipulate them...What if it was because of the good experience he has with his host? It could also explain why he’s the horny one amongst the System Lords 😂 He is just very human in a lot of ways.

Now you’re like “ok but what does that have to do with Baalsam” AND YEAH I HEAR YOU !!!! I just think it may be easier to imagine Baalsam for a non-shipper if you see Baal in that light?  🤔 🤔 🤔 it sure helps Sam seeing herself with him in fics 🥴 I don’t know!!! We know so little about Baal, and there are so many possibilites. I’m going way out of the Baalsam remit but at the same time, I strongly believe those who don’t understand the ship are those who stop their analysis of Baal at Abyss. He is so much more than just “that one Goa’uld who tortured and killed Jack in that one episode”. Baal has so much potential that makes this ship work!! Sam seeing that potential makes this ship work!

Sam hosting Baal (yes, the symbiote):

OKAY OKAY OKAY SO!!! This is something I LOVE to bits!!

That’s a thing that is great if as I said, Baal and his host are on the same wavelength. But it can work without it nonetheless.

Sam hosting Baal, consensual or not, is always ALWAYS such an amazing trope. (x) It’s really something that makes me hyperventilate because it makes them so close...so blended...it’s infinitely intimate... When Baal is in love with Sam, it’s even better. (x) I almost can’t describe it because it is so wonderful. Being able to feel each other’s feelings. Baal healing Sam from inside when she’s injured. Sam deciphering his emotions and most importantly the affection he has for her, especially when he still haven’t confessed it? holy shit it’s SO DAMN GOOD!!!!! The silent conversations they can have within Sam’s head, Baal pouring Goa’uld knowledge into Sam’s mind. It’s just the two of them and I can’t express how comforting that is to read.

i don’t know, random stuff I like i guess, I’m almost done: 

He just really craves her attention huh. Look at that smile, so cute...”I’m smart! Did you know I’m smart as hell? Of course you did. But I Would Like You To Acknowledge It.” He’s even bouncing on his heels, i love when he does that!!!! He is turning towards Sam especially too  😭💖 and she’s just ê____ê LMFAO

(Maybe this is just another “it is my speciality and not yours” moment but hey i like to give him the benefit of the doubt 💖)

Baal being “I’m tired of being a villain, I want to be loved now”...Aren’t you tired of going apeshit? Don’t you want to be nice? just a little bit?

Baal using so much petnames so easily... i’m usually not a fan of those but having him saying “my love, my sweet” etc etc oh fuck!!!!! i don’t know wHY it gets me!!! 

A lot of Baalsam fics are smutty, and while I enjoy that, I still think they have so much potential on the spiritual level. They’re both nerds and they both have so many things to learn from the other. (x)

Baal taking Sam on his ship to show her some neat space stuff.

Baal loving motorcycles just like Sam and modifying engines with naqadah.

Guess i’m just gonna link to fics I love now nvkjfdg and that I haven’t linked to already--

In the Lap of the Gods - Rating: M - Sam gets stuck in a sarcophagus with Baal. Really well thought fic, I love it!!!

The Mating game - Rating: M - Ten dates. Can I call this slow burn? It’s slow but not too slow. Please read this, it’s hilarious and so well written like- this fic makes me lose my absolute shit!

The Mating Game: Endgame - Rating: E - Read after The Mating Game. Honestly yEAH!!! Amazing sequel to an already amazing prequel, what else can I say 😩💖 you got some Host!Sam action in this too!!

Enemy Amongst Us - Rating: E - Hmmmm Sam falling for Baal is always yummy 🥴 It has more than that, it’s pretty wild!!!!!!

Those are not all but they are the ones i prefer 🥺💖💖💖 (along the ones I linked during the essay) 

I think I’m done? Congratulations for reading all of this lmao  😭💖 I hope you can see why I love Baalsam so much now!! They are just SO MUCH FUN!!! 

feel free to send me asks and stuff about this TvT/