#something about this just hits so deep
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hmtb quotes i'm collecting on my reread (pt 1.5)
chapter 12 - The Things We Cannot Touch (Are Your Feathers And My Heart)
There's a breeze pushing against their skin. The day is sunny, the trees sway, the clouds overhead drift lazily.
For a moment, Scar allows himself to close his eyes and just enjoy it, to let it lull him, to calm down the anxious beat of his heart. Maybe he can pretend, for five seconds at least, that this is a normal day. That things don’t hurt. That there isn’t a Grian in his bed, with blood-stained feathers and tear-stained cheeks. That there isn’t a dustpan full of crushed flower petals in the corner of his bedroom. That there isn’t a blooming panic in his chest whenever he thinks about death. That he isn’t completely, utterly helpless in this all.
#aaaaa i forgor this one#it was noted down separately#wah#hmtb#hmtb quotes#scar feels#something about this just hits so deep#a couple of weeks everything was fine#and now this is the reality scar has to grapple with
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the great thing about falling really deep into a new media niche is developing opinions on many new things. the terrible thing about falling really deep into a new media niche is developing opinions on many new things
#fjdkfdjkfd.#anyway. last week a trailer came out for something only called kidnap. which is hilarious because that's a blocked tumblr tag#it's a romance (with the kidnapper. who is secretly only doing it to pay a medical bill). i don't think it sounds or looks very good#& considering who is airing this and their history with Edgy Content the keyword here will probably be Bland. or maybe Toothless#but unfortunately...... tragically...... one of the leads is an actor i'll take in literally anything.#so i've spent my week periodically being attacked by this insignificant bit of knowledge and experiencing shrimp emotions#literally just. going about my day. thinking 'kidnap'. going OOF. then remembering i'm in the middle of brushing my teeth#also. i found out the original writer of bad romance & together with me is ALSO the writer of not me. and it's things like this#that would take like. twenty layers of explanation of these properties in general and also my takes on them specifically#and how it contrasts or aligns with their general perception. to even come CLOSE to explaining the mental hit i took from that#i need a corkboard and some red thread. and then probably three more corkboards#for day 1 that is. i think i have a week's worth of loosely connected spontaneous deep dive video essays i could do off the top of my head#ah well. the curse of having interests#*
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🐮
#@ comment directed to me in a tag. i have not talked abt them anywhere publicly but if u were deep enough in the paint in 2020ish theyre#like not super surprising. i think i wanna get back around to the trolls in my reread (so itll b a while) before i say anthing solid#just so i can go in w intent to pay closer attention again but like#overall have a low opinion on most the troll boys insofar as i see that the narrative seems to also not care for them. they seem to exist#to serve narrative purposes & end up discarded when no longer relevant. ie they dont end up very interesting and thus i view#many fans with suspicion when they have 'boys disease' ie having an outsized focus on the boys of the story despite hs being by the end#an extremely female dominated text with a lot to say about masculinity as an opressive force#tavros and gamzee are the biggest bugbears here (only really beaten out in eyebrow raising by cronus and the male dancestors)#on account of fans of them often downplaying gamzee's misogyny that is core to his role as a charismatic cult leader (or worse#sending trans women death threats when they made the factual assesment that gamzee was written to be a weird misogynist calling it#character assassination etc. man 2020 was wild.) tavros mostly just ends up being an accessory to this crime tbh. though his genuinely#complicated relationship w vriska oft being flattened to villify vriska + an inability to actually read what tavros Says...#like. if you get rid of tavros' quirk. stammering and all. and read his lines. he's kind of fucking rude? and yeah its alternia they all ar#but i have my hesitancies wrt how people seem to infantilise him (a disabled character) to the point of ignoring his dialogue and flaws#when one of tavros' core conceits (u can argue if this is . like. something hussie should have stayed out of. like its not their lane) is#that shitty ppl online will be assholes but will be allowed to get away with it due to unrelated disability. which like. it was 2010 ig#but this is hit upon again with mituna being distinctly a 4 channer with real brain damage and speech issues & all his friends letting him#get away with shit he still clearly has the cognitive capacity to know is wrong. its very messily handled but. i dont rlly like tavros ig.#will b amazed if tumblr doesnt eat these tags i went on wayy too long. but im not putting this in plaintext for obvi reasons#lucabytereads
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Thinking about the age gap between Tyril x elf!MC.
Thinking about how Tyril is the elven equivalent of 25 even though he's about 75 actual years old.
Thinking about how we don't know how old MC is but we do know that they are within two years of Kade's age (or even the same age—I think I found an inconsistency) and that the two of them were orphaned and subsequently adopted about 20 years ago, which MC says is as long as they remember (despite the fact that on more than one occasion MC has mentioned remembering their parents, most notably in b2 they mention remembering their parents' teachings, which means MC wasn’t an infant when they were killed).
Thinking about how Tyril said MC is young for an elf.
Thinking about how by elven standards, 20 human years makes one "very small" (equivalent of a 6 y/o).
Thinking about how elven years must work very oddly because if their average lifespan is 300 years, then an elf who is 30 (random guesstimate for MC—they're likely a little bit younger) would be the equivalent of 10, which tracks with the "very small" comment, but which would not make MC the adult they very clearly are (and keep in mind that elves reach maturity at 50, which would be the equivalent of 16 in human years).
And also thinking about how I either have MC's backstory mixed up or there are some small inconsistencies that make it very difficult to tell but even disregarding the math above, the best I can reason is that Tyril is one of those dudes in their 20s who goes after the barely legal teenagers 😬
#playchoices#blades of light and shadow#tyril starfury#tyril x mc#btw before anyone hits me with the 'it's fantasy it's not that deep' I'm doing this for FUN (and procrastination)#definitely not shading Tyril either I've just been interested in this for a while and it's kinda funny to me with the numbers laid out#I wonder if their relationship is immoral by elven standards considering MC isn't technically 'legal'#realistically based on their maturity level an elf!MC ought to be in their 60s but they prioritized making MC and Kade contemporaries in ag#the only other option is that when elf!MC talks about their age they automatically talk in equivalents#so if they mention something from when they were 16 they were actually 50 when it happened#but considering that they are culturally human (completely detached from their elven culture and heritage) I very much doubt that#and elves don't talk in equivalents either anyway
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anyone else inexplicably fucked up by the very existence of "its raining somewhere else" as a track?
#like yeah yeah sans is a joke character who actually has more depth to him we been known. but#idk something abt that track in particular just fucks me up every time#the mention of rain. how somber it is. that little melody toward the end#like its always been a track thats meant to tell us something. to make us question its meaning. but every time i listen to it it just.#hits me all over again.#its raining somewhere else. and what does that mean? what does that tell us?#the way its used in the secret room too. slowed down. it was always the version i preferred.#it seems so... melancholy and vulnerable#maybe thats what gets me. sans is a deep and mysterious character but one who doesnt show vulnerability#so to have this little moment via this track. where it feels like hes letting you in closer. idk. it always felt special#im. very normal. about. all of this.#obligatory dr chapters 3 and 4 mention. we already know its gonna rain. maybe that will tell us something new?#well finally be in that place. where it's raining. well be somewhere else.#i should sleep
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thinking about marine life and getting so excited i have to remind myself to breathe
#EEEEE I LOVE IT SOOO MUCH!!!!!#like bouncing up and down in my seat. tapping my foot like thumper (from bambi)#LIKE ITS JUST SO SO SO BEAUTIFUL I FEEL LIKE A CRAZY PERSON ABOUT IT#can i show you this article about hagfish slime i've been dying to talk about this article about hagfish slime#i read it on a study break like mid-last year and i'm still like.#HIT ME WITH IT AGAIN YESSSS TELL ME ABOUT THE STRUCTURE OF THE PROTEINSSSSSS#god. god. i know that not everyone is autistic about marine life but i'm still like. how is everyone else not bursting at the seams#with love and adoration and passion and hunger for knowledge about something so beautiful and mysterious!!!!!!!!!#i just!!!! oh God there's so much LIFE. there's so much LIFE in the WATER!!!!#there's a pod of orca whose older females teach younger females how to temporarily beach themselves to hunt the seals that live there.#is that not incredible. aren't comb jellies so beautiful. aren't whale falls so beautiful.#aren't sponges so beautiful. aren't lungfish so beautiful.#aren't sharks so beautiful. isn't kelp so beautiful.#aren't eels so beautiful. aren't manta rays so beautiful. aren't sunfish so beautiful.#aren't deep sea creatures so beautiful.#isn't it so beautiful that even. god i'm tearing up isn't it so beautiful#that even deep deep in the darkest parts of the sea where there's barely any food and barely any oxygen#and there's incredible pressure bearing down on their bodies from every angle. isn't it incredible#how much life is down there. swimming and hunting and living and evolving.#lying in wait and striking and descending upon a whale fall.#scavenging and surviving and even then! there's so much we don't know about them#and so many more animals down there that we don't even KNOW about!!!!#isn't that incredible/???? the amount of things we don't know and how they're still down there anyways. god. what a planet what a life
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this isnt a question but i saw in one of ur posts it was emd and it had One saying “did we win?” i saw the music under it was muse and i FREAKED OUT ive NEVER seen muse in the media.. especially media i super enjoy. i love muse. im still freaking out.
idk if your gonna see this i just have to metaphorically slash digitally give you a hug and a kiss for putting muse in the media anyway have a good day and thank u
Ohmigosh yes that post 🥴 and that SONG!! I almost didn't link the song, but the song fits the art so well that I had to. I'm obsessed with that song and the album it's on, honestly. But Blackout, especially, just-
crying, sobbing, weeping augh it's so good 🤧💙 The guitar riff solo sounds like static in the best way ever. And the lyrics?!? The way he just drags out those lyrics is so bittersweet with his vibrato uuggahh it sounds like crying to me 🥲
I'm so glad you liked it and I really appreciate you reaching out and sharing your excitement with me!! Gah! That means so much to me 🥹 Thank you thank you thank you!! 🙌🌟✨ Have a lovely day, anon! 🤗
(:
#ace answers#acey doodles#there's something about muse that just hits different#it's a certain kind of sound that is just intense and sad and emotional and deep and inspirational#just all of it and i love it and all the feels#yessss#thank you again so much anon!!#:)
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Saw some of the grossest parenting today in the bus
#this dad was on his phone the whole bus ride ok#and his two kids were screaming arguing#at most he would periodically tell them to lower their voice while still on his phone#one time he told them to stop the one sitting next to him hit him 😭 and he went back to look at his phone with no reaction#my guy something is seriously wrong with you#your kids are screaming at each other doesn't even matter all that much that we are in the bus rn#theyre not just being loud kids you need to do smt!!!!!! its too early for this!!! i could hear them even with my noise cancelling headphone#anyways#ive never seen smt like this#and i work in a mall i see lots of parents and kids#idk smt really disgusting about a parent just not even interested in engaging with their kids#dude no wonder they're loud they probably want ur attention#also this one lady once who came in wjth a big stroller#and the store where i work has little moving rooms between the aisle so this woman decided TO LEAVE THE STROLLER WITH A KID INSIDE AT THE#FRONT OF THE STORE#the kids started crying and his hrother (toddler not in the stroller but not following the mom for some reason) started exploring and i#i had to watch them until the mom came back but like the woman just left them there???#i just stepped in but what if i hadnt??? lady?????????#i see lots of cute interactions of course#like this little girl who came with who i think is her grandpa and he asked me to help her chose her next manga read 😭💖#i basically work in a book/toy store#theres a lot of candy as well the kids love it#idk i like seeing kids being happy ok it is healing#like all the kids sitting on the floors deep in their books while the parents shop 😭😭😭 makes me smile every time top tier behavior
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1.10 / 1.09
#something to be said not just about how Ibrahim aims to replace his past family with his present bond with Süleiman (and Musti and Mahi#branch off of that bond) but also how Hatice fits in all of this - the one Ibrahim leans on everytime he's likely to lose SS is *her*#she isn't just the future he wants to secure in the castle but also the past he yearns for outside of it especially in that initial period#of their relationship; and not just any past but a very particular fragment of it - the next most valuable person of his past other than#his brother: his *mother*. it's no wonder him playing *his mother's* melodies with the violin marks the beginning of their story and stays#an important motif throughout. just like Ibrahim's mother Hatice is so familiar yet so out of reach (and this unreachability accumulates in#E13 - Ibrahim leaves for Parga thus returning to his past but leaving Hatice behind but *then* finding out his mother is gone too.#*both* people he wants to be close to soo much are *gone* in that moment. there's a link between them because of this. also Hatice tieing#lbrahim's mother to “heaven” as well and her “looking at their happiness from above” Ibro responds with in E14.) Hatice will distance#more and more from that role later on until lbrahim starts to outright abandon this whole 'return to the past' idea with Hatice and#search for it through Nigar instead. but yeah anyway I feel these two scenes are the perfect encapsulation of how complicated#the past is for lbrahim; he avoids remembering it because it *hurts* to remember both because why would he remember it when he already has#an established future and because deep down he resents what he's become and established as that isn't ever permanent and he's lost all else#*himself* most of all as who is a person without his roots? he wants to forget them but can't ever do it so what's left is replacing them#*all of them*; when he finds Hatice too he wants to have *both* her and Süleiman and SS marrying Hatice off directly challanges that want#up to that point he believed in the possibility of their love more than Hatice did; now? he seems as lost as she is not knowing what to do#the only way not to lose either of them is accepting Süleiman's order convincing himself that this is how it should be no matter how much#that hurts and would bury him even deeper; he can't bear it so he searches for a solution - and when he sees Rhodes sea? it hits him#it hits him how low he's actually sunk through the losses and if he can't “fully* replace the past he'll *fully* return to the past letting#*everything else* once hidden out as well. not to mention how right before he left to Parga he was brought to fear for his literal death#and then he is given more power that also brings some uncertainty with it and that likely scared him cementing his departure for Parga#directly following Piri Pasha's advice to let power go as it won't let *you* go#(btw a big contrast between S01 and S03 Ibrahim can be drawn in his relationship with Piri Pasha and his relationship with Ebusuud)#magnificent century#muhteşem yüzyıl#muhtesem yuzyil#ibrahim pasha#(sorry for the disorganized tags but if I kept it like it was I would've exceeded the limit before I even finished 😅)#(just Ibrahim and Hatice in general are people who latch onto each other to get over their losses and ache for peace amidst their turbulent#lives and positions and that's what keeps them close and will later too)
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I'm starting Mission to Zyxx Season 5 now, and I have feelings about that.
First, it generally scares me when people hype anything up at all because there is no guarantee that anyone values the exact same thing I do to the same degree. Even if I trust the creators of a thing to value something and try to do right by it, that doesn't always necessarily mean it will be successful, especially if that involves doing something wildly different than what made it good in the first place (I have been burned this way before). I guess I'm just hoping they continue the format of goofy improv shenanigans for the majority of it with something more planned and emotional in the finale if they want, like they've been doing all along. I'd think they would, and I've heard nothing bad about the ending, but I guess it still makes me nervous because I'm so close to the end and I want it so badly to stick the landing. I'm setting my expectations on the floor so I can be surprised instead of disappointed, but honestly, I don't need it to be better, I just need it to be on par with the rest.
Second, and more briefly, I'm happy it's (hopefully) ending before it has a chance to decline. I am so on board with that philosophy. But on the other hand, finishing a thing that I really, really like and knowing there's not another one out there gives me a special kind of heartache. Like, I know there will be other good media, and stuff that's good and unique in other ways, but I know for a fact that there are no other podcasts out there that have the same mix of a balance of off-the-wall improv and structured narrative, quality comedy, fantastical sci-fi setting and loveable characters, and high quality production. There are other things out there with many of those qualities, but nothing that checks every one of those boxes. It's a lightning-in-a-bottle thing that very much feels like the right people had to be in the right place at the right time to do it. Attempts to do it again would feel hollow because it had to be born out of necessity and passion and the talents of the people involved, so if you switch out the people it loses the reasons it's great, and if the same people tried to do it again it'd feel tired. That makes me so, so grateful it exists, but also so, so sad that it doesn't, and I'm 80% of the way done. When it's over, it's over.
Anyway. Now that that's all out there, I'm just gonna finish listening and have fun. Wish me luck.
#pickle pontificates#mission to zyxx#if you freaking flip on episode 1 after reading this and are like. wow. they're talking a lot about butts and ejecting people into space.#what is pickle on about#well. sue me i guess. idk#I have a lot of feelings about this as a general topic so this is moreso just the most recent thing that's touched on it for me#okay so time for essay 2 in the tags#1. I don't really talk about TAZ on here but it's something I carry with me whenever I think about this kind of thing#I think that in the same vein as MTZ it started off very goofy and directionless and then gave me more emotions than I thought it would#and it's not perfect but balance was a cultural landmark in a lot of ways#i enjoyed amnesty but it didn't have the same spark. what drew me to balance was all the goofy improvisation#and the fact that it was never serious until it was#amnesty (although i loved the setting/concept and enjoyed the characters) crossed the line into taking things more seriously#and while that's not a bad thing in and of itself the thing i enjoy about the mcelroys is when they're goofing around#that's what they're good at and it's why i like them#subsequent arcs suffered the same thing to varying degrees#i slogged through most of graduation for some reason and although ethersea was better i didn't finish it#taz dracula was the first time i've felt that same kind of fun while listening since balance#and I really think it was because they were just getting silly with it. sure yeah elizabeth the sports druid. lady godwin turns into a hors#whatever!#their dad gets to follow through on his ideas and do whatever crazy but kinda logical thing he comes up with#but i guess the point is that to me taz feels very lightning in a bottle. balance is what it's capable of being but is not the default#all the other right ingredients had to be in the soup#2. noragami. ohh noragami.#you wormed your way deep into my heart and then flopped out of it like a messy slimy dead fish#and i can't even be upset about it because the creators sounded so tired and unhappy with the way it ended#but there was so much potential. so many themes that DID hit hard throughout the story and could've knocked a man out cold#had they come back at the end#and they could have right up until so very close!!! it wasn't unsalvageable#in fact it still isn't. you'd hardly have to revise anything. you'd just have to write a different ending
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tfw you're so used to the body you're in feeling foreign that you might look in the mirror one day and not even recognize your real self looking back
#that self actualization hitting different#fucked up late night ramblings#there is so much trepidation with hrt that they dont really talk about#im scared that this will change me into something im not#and yet i want to continue#deep down i know i want to keep going#even if things will change#even if things will get a little weird#i caught a glimpse of another version of myself#fuller and happier than before#i have never felt more in control of myself than i have at this moment#but with that control comes a lot of fear that im steering the wrong way#the decision to continue this will be my own and i will make it every day#im extremely scared#but i think this time it's in a good way#there's not as much of that existential dread that i felt when i went through puberty the first time#there's not as much of that feeling of irreversibility#in fact those feelings are barely there at all#idk it's just kind of weird. i feel weird
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so i made an entire longpost explaining why my scaraney brainrot is real and tender and why i’m insane . but i decided these shitposts would convey my emotions better
#“this is such a random pairing” I KNOW. i cant help being mentally ill#i just think theyre so#hmmgmmmfmmffg#no scara ships really hit deep for me and now#i just think. lyney...#leak warning but:#lyney being involved with the fatui. paralleling his relationship w arrlechino to scara and dottore's#cats...#the boy who gave away all his love#and the boy who never received any#the boy who would kill to protect his family#and the boy who has killed to offend his mother#something something about escaping the chains of your past#im so fucking crazy. help#genshin#genshin impact#wanderer#scaramouche#kunikuzushi#balladeer#scara headcanons#lyney#lyney genshin#fontaine#genshin 4.0#genshin headcanons#scaraney#scaramouche x lyney#lymouche#genshin rarepair
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get mimicked!!!
#mcyt#captainsparklez#karacorvus#vault hunters smp#vault gods smp#vhsmp#marsh tries#ik mimiccubes arent like. unique to vh#however i associate them with void vaults and like to get silly about that#anyway think itd be fun if like the more they interact with a hunter#whether it be getting hit or hitting them the more accurate the mimic gets#more solid. lose the tell of purple hue#i think. there is something#about void vaults having deep dark flavored mobs#and about the warden#and about the existence of the vault warden from s2 fv#there is something there and it wants to Get Out#and maybe its just. the abyss in general#and theyre creatures of the abyss to me so would the mimics not have the same goal?#eat the hunter. become them. replace them. take their memories and Get Out#not sure how coherent these thoughts are but i am thinking#btv abyss au#<--loosely bc i am as always being abnormal about the abyss with minimal grounding in canon
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2 hour rough drawing of Ehuang, my precious Green Opal child who I don’t draw nearly enough <3
#my art#artists on tumblr#the legend of korra#Kat and Nia and their multiverse of madness#original character#ehuang beifong#<— finally. a new OC with a proper tag#tbh it is much easier to tag characters who have last names#and we’ve never discussed it but I do think Ehuang carries the Beifong last name. whether or not she uses it is a different matter#I feel like she’s a Beifong officially she never puts much emphasis on it. she prefers the other side of her family anyway#okay moving on from that#next gens for next gens. quite a deep niche in reaching here#but I don’t care. I love Ehuang as a representation of everything good and pure in the world too much to object to her existence#baby girl. sweet girl#and yeah I’ve drawn her with Midori Opal and Suiren before so I thought I’d try something else#and while Kuvira isn’t actually shown here. just know that she’s absolutely tearing up off screen#you can pull the idea of Kuvira absolutely adoring her little niece out of my cold dead hands#wait omg I never posted my earlier art of Ehuang on here have I#okay once I’m done with my current projects I’ll refine and post those#the world deserves to see more of Ehuang#I feel like this particular scenario also hits some spot in Kuvira bc she knows who Ehuang’s bio dad is#and Ehuang looks just enough like him. despite being very similar to Midori. that imagining her with a beauty mark under her eye…#it brings Certain Ideas to mind. very fleeting and eliciting a ‘imagine that. I love this girl to bits but I’m sure glad I’m not her mom’#kind of response. but overall no one really lingers on that fact. I feel. her parents are Midori and Opal#Bataar’s just the donor. no one calls him her bio dad. he doesn’t see her as his daughter. probs Suyin is the only one who puts up a fuss#like not letting up about Ehuang being his kid even though he’s told her countless times that his involvement is irrelevant#he doesn’t wish to be ehuang’s dad. that wasn’t why he helped create her.#he did so because he loves his sister and SIL. because he knew they wanted a baby. not because he wanted a child himself#he’s quite content being her uncle thank you very much. and idk why I just went on this ramble lmao#maybe I should try to write something Ehuang related. explore all these relationships and whatever. we’ll see
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.
#I once made a joke to my students that even though I never worked out I was always mentally lifting weights#in the gym of my own mind.#and it’s been such a helpful metaphor#not to make an outrageous statement here or to overestimate how smart I am (often not very smart at all!)#but just. my brain gets use. it gets exploration. it has been honed.#if it had an embodied form (other than my body) yeah! it would be lifting weights!#and/or doing gymnastics lol (for a zeitgeist-y metaphor)#(actually I am legit so good at mental gymnastics)#but ANYWAY the point is: the metaphor struck me because it highlighted how little my brain gets a break#and again—it’s not all worthwhile or deep or insightful or GOOD. a lot of it is useless or downright silly mental activity#but it IS activity. it is mental motion. day in day out. and it is so so so so so so so hard for me to give my brain a break#or even know how to do that#and I am absolutely tearing mental muscles and getting whatever it is athletes get when they work out too hard#or too strenuously#to extend the metaphor to the limit#and I need !!!!!!! a rest day#vacations are almost worse tbh. I feel like I hit this point a lot in the summer#because school forces me to think about things but actually much more helpfully it forces me to stop thinking about things#and do something else. it’s thinking on a schedule lol#and so the breaks are just built-in#but on my own I’ll just go go go go go and fall down every rabbit hole and chase my own tail#and it’s so tiring#anyway it hit me the other day that I could actually set limits for myself#like I was thinking about something in the shower (as you do) and it was stressful#and then I was like you have until the end of the shower to think about this and then you have to stop#and it was super helpful. I need to do that more. but yeah.#I don’t know how to give myself a rest day because who knows what will set the brain off#I also Know it wouldn’t be as bad if it wasn’t all interwoven with anxiety. but anixey is very deeply interwoven with how my brain works#so stressfully going down a million thought paths#ANYWAY !!!!! it is 1;41 am and I can’t sleep!!!!!!!
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Pivotal bright spot (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#Damned#ZEX#The Captain#Hhhhhh <3#I am once again ''Who am I without you'' - ZEX relies on Zelnick to affirm who he himself is! His Captain is a huge comfort!#It's the codependency for me <3#The way Zelnick comforts him is so sweet ;; He can be quite attentive! When he chooses to be hehe#He's hesitant and concerned but overcomes it to give ZEX what he needs in the moment ahh he's deserving of being a leader ♥#Like covering his eye for him - and repeating back his greeting! ;;;; How many times has ZEX introduced himself that now it's repeated back#How many times has he said those exact words so confidently that Zelnick can repeat it back to him#So confident in his identity until it's all brought into question - too many pieces that align Just So to know one way or anything!#How would his human love know so many details - but such specific details are concerning as well! What's real and what's not!#What's experienced and what's mentally real - or false! There's so many tricky mental traps set agh it's so good <3#It's so interesting how their character flaws interact with their self-assuredness hehe <3 Zelnick is brash and bold!#ZEX is careful and prideful - so which takes a harder hit in matters of the mind? ZEX is at a disadvantage in Max's body of course#Hghh there's so much about this scene that's so good tho ah#ZEX's worries of his own level of self-delusion bleeding out into accidentally telling lies - he's quite honest! Mostly ♪#But here it's all just deep concern - not of Trying to manipulate but being so far gone that he can't Help but do so! Being out of control!#Of course that would be very scary for him :( And of lying to himself? The kind of thing that's wholly repulsive to him </3#Ughhh this scene breaks my heart because they really love each other and ZEX wants him and needs him but I know what will happen ;;#At least they're able to give each other a bit of comfort in the moment - whether it's true or not (it is true haha) the contrast helps#Even in Max's body and even unsure of himself getting to hold his human - this human - feels real and right <3#He's still worried afterwards of course - takes something convincing to pull him out of it! - and Zelnick continues to comfort him <3#I love palm kisses as well ugh they're so sweet ;; <3 What a lovely way to show his solidarity! Hehe ♥
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