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angeart · 1 month ago

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hmtb quotes i'm collecting on my reread (pt 1.5)

chapter 12 - The Things We Cannot Touch (Are Your Feathers And My Heart)

There's a breeze pushing against their skin. The day is sunny, the trees sway, the clouds overhead drift lazily.

For a moment, Scar allows himself to close his eyes and just enjoy it, to let it lull him, to calm down the anxious beat of his heart. Maybe he can pretend, for five seconds at least, that this is a normal day. That things don’t hurt. That there isn’t a Grian in his bed, with blood-stained feathers and tear-stained cheeks. That there isn’t a dustpan full of crushed flower petals in the corner of his bedroom. That there isn’t a blooming panic in his chest whenever he thinks about death. That he isn’t completely, utterly helpless in this all.

#aaaaa i forgor this one #it was noted down separately #wah #hmtb #hmtb quotes #scar feels #something about this just hits so deep #a couple of weeks everything was fine #and now this is the reality scar has to grapple with

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itwoodbeprefect · 3 months ago

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the great thing about falling really deep into a new media niche is developing opinions on many new things. the terrible thing about falling really deep into a new media niche is developing opinions on many new things

#fjdkfdjkfd.#anyway. last week a trailer came out for something only called kidnap. which is hilarious because that's a blocked tumblr tag #it's a romance (with the kidnapper. who is secretly only doing it to pay a medical bill). i don't think it sounds or looks very good #& considering who is airing this and their history with Edgy Content the keyword here will probably be Bland. or maybe Toothless #but unfortunately...... tragically...... one of the leads is an actor i'll take in literally anything.#so i've spent my week periodically being attacked by this insignificant bit of knowledge and experiencing shrimp emotions #literally just. going about my day. thinking 'kidnap'. going OOF. then remembering i'm in the middle of brushing my teeth #also. i found out the original writer of bad romance & together with me is ALSO the writer of not me. and it's things like this #that would take like. twenty layers of explanation of these properties in general and also my takes on them specifically #and how it contrasts or aligns with their general perception. to even come CLOSE to explaining the mental hit i took from that #i need a corkboard and some red thread. and then probably three more corkboards #for day 1 that is. i think i have a week's worth of loosely connected spontaneous deep dive video essays i could do off the top of my head #ah well. the curse of having interests #*

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lucabyte · 14 days ago

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🐮

#@ comment directed to me in a tag. i have not talked abt them anywhere publicly but if u were deep enough in the paint in 2020ish theyre #like not super surprising. i think i wanna get back around to the trolls in my reread (so itll b a while) before i say anthing solid #just so i can go in w intent to pay closer attention again but like #overall have a low opinion on most the troll boys insofar as i see that the narrative seems to also not care for them. they seem to exist #to serve narrative purposes & end up discarded when no longer relevant. ie they dont end up very interesting and thus i view #many fans with suspicion when they have 'boys disease' ie having an outsized focus on the boys of the story despite hs being by the end #an extremely female dominated text with a lot to say about masculinity as an opressive force #tavros and gamzee are the biggest bugbears here (only really beaten out in eyebrow raising by cronus and the male dancestors)#on account of fans of them often downplaying gamzee's misogyny that is core to his role as a charismatic cult leader (or worse #sending trans women death threats when they made the factual assesment that gamzee was written to be a weird misogynist calling it #character assassination etc. man 2020 was wild.) tavros mostly just ends up being an accessory to this crime tbh. though his genuinely #complicated relationship w vriska oft being flattened to villify vriska + an inability to actually read what tavros Says...#like. if you get rid of tavros' quirk. stammering and all. and read his lines. he's kind of fucking rude? and yeah its alternia they all ar #but i have my hesitancies wrt how people seem to infantilise him (a disabled character) to the point of ignoring his dialogue and flaws #when one of tavros' core conceits (u can argue if this is . like. something hussie should have stayed out of. like its not their lane) is #that shitty ppl online will be assholes but will be allowed to get away with it due to unrelated disability. which like. it was 2010 ig #but this is hit upon again with mituna being distinctly a 4 channer with real brain damage and speech issues & all his friends letting him #get away with shit he still clearly has the cognitive capacity to know is wrong. its very messily handled but. i dont rlly like tavros ig.#will b amazed if tumblr doesnt eat these tags i went on wayy too long. but im not putting this in plaintext for obvi reasons #lucabytereads

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the-unconquered-queen · 1 year ago

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Thinking about the age gap between Tyril x elf!MC.

Thinking about how Tyril is the elven equivalent of 25 even though he's about 75 actual years old.

Thinking about how we don't know how old MC is but we do know that they are within two years of Kade's age (or even the same age—I think I found an inconsistency) and that the two of them were orphaned and subsequently adopted about 20 years ago, which MC says is as long as they remember (despite the fact that on more than one occasion MC has mentioned remembering their parents, most notably in b2 they mention remembering their parents' teachings, which means MC wasn’t an infant when they were killed).

Thinking about how Tyril said MC is young for an elf.

Thinking about how by elven standards, 20 human years makes one "very small" (equivalent of a 6 y/o).

Thinking about how elven years must work very oddly because if their average lifespan is 300 years, then an elf who is 30 (random guesstimate for MC—they're likely a little bit younger) would be the equivalent of 10, which tracks with the "very small" comment, but which would not make MC the adult they very clearly are (and keep in mind that elves reach maturity at 50, which would be the equivalent of 16 in human years).

And also thinking about how I either have MC's backstory mixed up or there are some small inconsistencies that make it very difficult to tell but even disregarding the math above, the best I can reason is that Tyril is one of those dudes in their 20s who goes after the barely legal teenagers 😬

#playchoices #blades of light and shadow #tyril starfury #tyril x mc #btw before anyone hits me with the 'it's fantasy it's not that deep' I'm doing this for FUN (and procrastination)#definitely not shading Tyril either I've just been interested in this for a while and it's kinda funny to me with the numbers laid out #I wonder if their relationship is immoral by elven standards considering MC isn't technically 'legal'#realistically based on their maturity level an elf!MC ought to be in their 60s but they prioritized making MC and Kade contemporaries in ag #the only other option is that when elf!MC talks about their age they automatically talk in equivalents #so if they mention something from when they were 16 they were actually 50 when it happened #but considering that they are culturally human (completely detached from their elven culture and heritage) I very much doubt that #and elves don't talk in equivalents either anyway

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mc-critical · 1 month ago

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1.10 / 1.09

#something to be said not just about how Ibrahim aims to replace his past family with his present bond with Süleiman (and Musti and Mahi #branch off of that bond) but also how Hatice fits in all of this - the one Ibrahim leans on everytime he's likely to lose SS is *her*#she isn't just the future he wants to secure in the castle but also the past he yearns for outside of it especially in that initial period #of their relationship; and not just any past but a very particular fragment of it - the next most valuable person of his past other than #his brother: his *mother*. it's no wonder him playing *his mother's* melodies with the violin marks the beginning of their story and stays #an important motif throughout. just like Ibrahim's mother Hatice is so familiar yet so out of reach (and this unreachability accumulates in #E13 - Ibrahim leaves for Parga thus returning to his past but leaving Hatice behind but *then* finding out his mother is gone too.#*both* people he wants to be close to soo much are *gone* in that moment. there's a link between them because of this. also Hatice tieing #lbrahim's mother to “heaven” as well and her “looking at their happiness from above” Ibro responds with in E14.) Hatice will distance #more and more from that role later on until lbrahim starts to outright abandon this whole 'return to the past' idea with Hatice and #search for it through Nigar instead. but yeah anyway I feel these two scenes are the perfect encapsulation of how complicated #the past is for lbrahim; he avoids remembering it because it *hurts* to remember both because why would he remember it when he already has #an established future and because deep down he resents what he's become and established as that isn't ever permanent and he's lost all else #*himself* most of all as who is a person without his roots? he wants to forget them but can't ever do it so what's left is replacing them #*all of them*; when he finds Hatice too he wants to have *both* her and Süleiman and SS marrying Hatice off directly challanges that want #up to that point he believed in the possibility of their love more than Hatice did; now? he seems as lost as she is not knowing what to do #the only way not to lose either of them is accepting Süleiman's order convincing himself that this is how it should be no matter how much #that hurts and would bury him even deeper; he can't bear it so he searches for a solution - and when he sees Rhodes sea? it hits him #it hits him how low he's actually sunk through the losses and if he can't “fully* replace the past he'll *fully* return to the past letting #*everything else* once hidden out as well. not to mention how right before he left to Parga he was brought to fear for his literal death #and then he is given more power that also brings some uncertainty with it and that likely scared him cementing his departure for Parga #directly following Piri Pasha's advice to let power go as it won't let *you* go #(btw a big contrast between S01 and S03 Ibrahim can be drawn in his relationship with Piri Pasha and his relationship with Ebusuud)#magnificent century #muhteşem yüzyıl #muhtesem yuzyil #ibrahim pasha #(sorry for the disorganized tags but if I kept it like it was I would've exceeded the limit before I even finished 😅)#(just Ibrahim and Hatice in general are people who latch onto each other to get over their losses and ache for peace amidst their turbulent #lives and positions and that's what keeps them close and will later too)

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solivagantingrebel · 5 days ago

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hey guys who wants another round of tmi

#ive been #this entire day has been a lot and i have no idea how to feel about it #i've never cried this much in an entire day and i can't stop myself from tearing up but it's not because of something sad or traumatic i'm #not used to being loved. or appreciated. or meant to feel like i belong anywhere. i've struggled with being excluded and ostracized and it #has been an uphill battle for a long time and deep down despite my many attempts to heal and get better i've always felt like something was #fundamentally wrong with me. it has been wrong with me from the start and whatever evidence to the contrary ive gotten was rationalised awa #by fluke or maybe people like me because of what i can provide and what i can do for them and not because of who i am and who i am will #always be tolerated or ignored at best and i genuinely was not expecting anyone but a few close friends to care about this and just. andjus #i think something in me is healing and it's still hard to accept but i can conceptualize it and any negative thought in my brain is being #countered by “hey why would you think that when people care about you” and i know it is obvious right. its something i should know but it #has always been so hard to believe that anyone would and the fact that it's hitting right now? i cant fucking stop crying #its almost fucking embarrassing im like this. im a grown ass adult. why the fuck am i still crying like this. i fucking hate trauma man #keeps making me feel like im that kid who was never loved in the ways that mattered. sorry im just #thankful. grateful. i feel like some parts of that gaping wound is stitching itself together and i cant stop crying and for once im not #crying because i'm being hurt. i'm just grateful to be here. genuinely fucking grateful that i'm alive #funny isnt it. how much love can save you if you let it #tmi #rant #embarrassed myself enough i think #sorry about that we'll go to our regularly scheduled ghoap program soon enough #i'll be okay

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alyimoss · 2 months ago

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anyone else inexplicably fucked up by the very existence of "its raining somewhere else" as a track?

#like yeah yeah sans is a joke character who actually has more depth to him we been known. but #idk something abt that track in particular just fucks me up every time #the mention of rain. how somber it is. that little melody toward the end #like its always been a track thats meant to tell us something. to make us question its meaning. but every time i listen to it it just.#hits me all over again.#its raining somewhere else. and what does that mean? what does that tell us?#the way its used in the secret room too. slowed down. it was always the version i preferred.#it seems so... melancholy and vulnerable #maybe thats what gets me. sans is a deep and mysterious character but one who doesnt show vulnerability #so to have this little moment via this track. where it feels like hes letting you in closer. idk. it always felt special #im. very normal. about. all of this.#obligatory dr chapters 3 and 4 mention. we already know its gonna rain. maybe that will tell us something new?#well finally be in that place. where it's raining. well be somewhere else.#i should sleep

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bugmistake · 6 months ago

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thinking about marine life and getting so excited i have to remind myself to breathe

#EEEEE I LOVE IT SOOO MUCH!!!!!#like bouncing up and down in my seat. tapping my foot like thumper (from bambi)#LIKE ITS JUST SO SO SO BEAUTIFUL I FEEL LIKE A CRAZY PERSON ABOUT IT #can i show you this article about hagfish slime i've been dying to talk about this article about hagfish slime #i read it on a study break like mid-last year and i'm still like.#HIT ME WITH IT AGAIN YESSSS TELL ME ABOUT THE STRUCTURE OF THE PROTEINSSSSSS #god. god. i know that not everyone is autistic about marine life but i'm still like. how is everyone else not bursting at the seams #with love and adoration and passion and hunger for knowledge about something so beautiful and mysterious!!!!!!!!!#i just!!!! oh God there's so much LIFE. there's so much LIFE in the WATER!!!!#there's a pod of orca whose older females teach younger females how to temporarily beach themselves to hunt the seals that live there.#is that not incredible. aren't comb jellies so beautiful. aren't whale falls so beautiful.#aren't sponges so beautiful. aren't lungfish so beautiful.#aren't sharks so beautiful. isn't kelp so beautiful.#aren't eels so beautiful. aren't manta rays so beautiful. aren't sunfish so beautiful.#aren't deep sea creatures so beautiful.#isn't it so beautiful that even. god i'm tearing up isn't it so beautiful #that even deep deep in the darkest parts of the sea where there's barely any food and barely any oxygen #and there's incredible pressure bearing down on their bodies from every angle. isn't it incredible #how much life is down there. swimming and hunting and living and evolving.#lying in wait and striking and descending upon a whale fall.#scavenging and surviving and even then! there's so much we don't know about them #and so many more animals down there that we don't even KNOW about!!!!#isn't that incredible/???? the amount of things we don't know and how they're still down there anyways. god. what a planet what a life

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2aceofspades · 7 months ago

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this isnt a question but i saw in one of ur posts it was emd and it had One saying “did we win?” i saw the music under it was muse and i FREAKED OUT ive NEVER seen muse in the media.. especially media i super enjoy. i love muse. im still freaking out.

idk if your gonna see this i just have to metaphorically slash digitally give you a hug and a kiss for putting muse in the media anyway have a good day and thank u

Ohmigosh yes that post 🥴 and that SONG!! I almost didn't link the song, but the song fits the art so well that I had to. I'm obsessed with that song and the album it's on, honestly. But Blackout, especially, just-

crying, sobbing, weeping augh it's so good 🤧💙 The guitar riff solo sounds like static in the best way ever. And the lyrics?!? The way he just drags out those lyrics is so bittersweet with his vibrato uuggahh it sounds like crying to me 🥲

I'm so glad you liked it and I really appreciate you reaching out and sharing your excitement with me!! Gah! That means so much to me 🥹 Thank you thank you thank you!! 🙌🌟✨ Have a lovely day, anon! 🤗

(:

#ace answers #acey doodles #there's something about muse that just hits different #it's a certain kind of sound that is just intense and sad and emotional and deep and inspirational #just all of it and i love it and all the feels #yessss #thank you again so much anon!!#:)

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pickled-flowers · 7 months ago

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Saw some of the grossest parenting today in the bus

#this dad was on his phone the whole bus ride ok #and his two kids were screaming arguing #at most he would periodically tell them to lower their voice while still on his phone #one time he told them to stop the one sitting next to him hit him 😭 and he went back to look at his phone with no reaction #my guy something is seriously wrong with you #your kids are screaming at each other doesn't even matter all that much that we are in the bus rn #theyre not just being loud kids you need to do smt!!!!!! its too early for this!!! i could hear them even with my noise cancelling headphone #anyways #ive never seen smt like this #and i work in a mall i see lots of parents and kids #idk smt really disgusting about a parent just not even interested in engaging with their kids #dude no wonder they're loud they probably want ur attention #also this one lady once who came in wjth a big stroller #and the store where i work has little moving rooms between the aisle so this woman decided TO LEAVE THE STROLLER WITH A KID INSIDE AT THE #FRONT OF THE STORE #the kids started crying and his hrother (toddler not in the stroller but not following the mom for some reason) started exploring and i #i had to watch them until the mom came back but like the woman just left them there???#i just stepped in but what if i hadnt??? lady?????????#i see lots of cute interactions of course #like this little girl who came with who i think is her grandpa and he asked me to help her chose her next manga read 😭💖#i basically work in a book/toy store #theres a lot of candy as well the kids love it #idk i like seeing kids being happy ok it is healing #like all the kids sitting on the floors deep in their books while the parents shop 😭😭😭 makes me smile every time top tier behavior

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thevegetablewhichnoonedaresname · 1 month ago

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I'm starting Mission to Zyxx Season 5 now, and I have feelings about that.

First, it generally scares me when people hype anything up at all because there is no guarantee that anyone values the exact same thing I do to the same degree. Even if I trust the creators of a thing to value something and try to do right by it, that doesn't always necessarily mean it will be successful, especially if that involves doing something wildly different than what made it good in the first place (I have been burned this way before). I guess I'm just hoping they continue the format of goofy improv shenanigans for the majority of it with something more planned and emotional in the finale if they want, like they've been doing all along. I'd think they would, and I've heard nothing bad about the ending, but I guess it still makes me nervous because I'm so close to the end and I want it so badly to stick the landing. I'm setting my expectations on the floor so I can be surprised instead of disappointed, but honestly, I don't need it to be better, I just need it to be on par with the rest.

Second, and more briefly, I'm happy it's (hopefully) ending before it has a chance to decline. I am so on board with that philosophy. But on the other hand, finishing a thing that I really, really like and knowing there's not another one out there gives me a special kind of heartache. Like, I know there will be other good media, and stuff that's good and unique in other ways, but I know for a fact that there are no other podcasts out there that have the same mix of a balance of off-the-wall improv and structured narrative, quality comedy, fantastical sci-fi setting and loveable characters, and high quality production. There are other things out there with many of those qualities, but nothing that checks every one of those boxes. It's a lightning-in-a-bottle thing that very much feels like the right people had to be in the right place at the right time to do it. Attempts to do it again would feel hollow because it had to be born out of necessity and passion and the talents of the people involved, so if you switch out the people it loses the reasons it's great, and if the same people tried to do it again it'd feel tired. That makes me so, so grateful it exists, but also so, so sad that it doesn't, and I'm 80% of the way done. When it's over, it's over.

Anyway. Now that that's all out there, I'm just gonna finish listening and have fun. Wish me luck.

#pickle pontificates #mission to zyxx #if you freaking flip on episode 1 after reading this and are like. wow. they're talking a lot about butts and ejecting people into space.#what is pickle on about #well. sue me i guess. idk #I have a lot of feelings about this as a general topic so this is moreso just the most recent thing that's touched on it for me #okay so time for essay 2 in the tags #1. I don't really talk about TAZ on here but it's something I carry with me whenever I think about this kind of thing #I think that in the same vein as MTZ it started off very goofy and directionless and then gave me more emotions than I thought it would #and it's not perfect but balance was a cultural landmark in a lot of ways #i enjoyed amnesty but it didn't have the same spark. what drew me to balance was all the goofy improvisation #and the fact that it was never serious until it was #amnesty (although i loved the setting/concept and enjoyed the characters) crossed the line into taking things more seriously #and while that's not a bad thing in and of itself the thing i enjoy about the mcelroys is when they're goofing around #that's what they're good at and it's why i like them #subsequent arcs suffered the same thing to varying degrees #i slogged through most of graduation for some reason and although ethersea was better i didn't finish it #taz dracula was the first time i've felt that same kind of fun while listening since balance #and I really think it was because they were just getting silly with it. sure yeah elizabeth the sports druid. lady godwin turns into a hors #whatever!#their dad gets to follow through on his ideas and do whatever crazy but kinda logical thing he comes up with #but i guess the point is that to me taz feels very lightning in a bottle. balance is what it's capable of being but is not the default #all the other right ingredients had to be in the soup #2. noragami. ohh noragami.#you wormed your way deep into my heart and then flopped out of it like a messy slimy dead fish #and i can't even be upset about it because the creators sounded so tired and unhappy with the way it ended #but there was so much potential. so many themes that DID hit hard throughout the story and could've knocked a man out cold #had they come back at the end #and they could have right up until so very close!!! it wasn't unsalvageable #in fact it still isn't. you'd hardly have to revise anything. you'd just have to write a different ending

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lockhartandlych · 2 months ago

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tfw you're so used to the body you're in feeling foreign that you might look in the mirror one day and not even recognize your real self looking back

#that self actualization hitting different #fucked up late night ramblings #there is so much trepidation with hrt that they dont really talk about #im scared that this will change me into something im not #and yet i want to continue #deep down i know i want to keep going #even if things will change #even if things will get a little weird #i caught a glimpse of another version of myself #fuller and happier than before #i have never felt more in control of myself than i have at this moment #but with that control comes a lot of fear that im steering the wrong way #the decision to continue this will be my own and i will make it every day #im extremely scared #but i think this time it's in a good way #there's not as much of that existential dread that i felt when i went through puberty the first time #there's not as much of that feeling of irreversibility #in fact those feelings are barely there at all #idk it's just kind of weird. i feel weird

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mythicmalasada · 1 year ago

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so i made an entire longpost explaining why my scaraney brainrot is real and tender and why i’m insane . but i decided these shitposts would convey my emotions better