#someone's sexuality is none of my business. someone's gender identity is none of my business. whether someone is ace is none of my business

[martitheevans]

*grabs you by the shoulders* listen to me you need to care less about what other people are doing with their lives, you need to be okay with people's interests even if they're weird, you need to be okay with people's identities even if you disagree with them, you need to learn to be okay with things and you will be better off, you will be happy and you will be a hell of a lot less angry

[renniferno]

happy pride y'all i'm the vague approximation of a person piloting a broken down meatmech they/them engaged to a he/they lesbian on manitizer and i'm here to make it everyone else's problem

[vampgirlgem]

ah. the discourse is back. fortunately i do not care

[salty-dracon]

I made this meme a while ago in response to the climate of the asexual communities on Reddit, specifically the meme subreddit r/aaaaaaacccccccce, which was constantly warring between "too many sex-repulsed memes" and "too many sex-favorable" memes.

Asexuality by definition is experiencing little to no sexual attraction to other people regardless of gender. It is considered an umbrella of sexualities. Every kind of ace person in the world exists, and you have no right to say that someone "isn't really asexual" or "is actively harming the community" by approaching life the way they do. Keep in mind that discrimination for being asexual intersects with race, gender, other queer identities, disability, and other factors.

How any individual asexual chooses to lead their life with regards to their asexual identity is none of my business as a human being. Rather, it is my duty to listen to their experiences and accept that even if they're not my own, that they're still a part of the community. And, as a human being, every asexual has a story worth listening to.

Text transcription under the cut:

[ID: A "The Simpsons Bus Stop" meme. The top panel is unchanged, it is a bus driver saying "don't make me tap the sign". The bottom panel, where the bus driver points to the sign, says the following:

There is no universal asexual experience. Part of being a community is understanding that there are people who have experiences that differ from your own, or what you think is the "proper" asexual experience. The existence of one experience does not invalidate the existence of another. You have no right to tell a real person that their expression is harming the community because they are sex-repulsed or sex-favorable and you are the opposite. Their experience is not the same as yours. That's normal.

You might argue that the existence of sex-repulsed asexuals leads to the perception that all of us can't have sex ever, which makes your allo partners think you're lying when you say you're asexual, or that the existence of sex-favorable asexuals makes allos think that you can be coerced into sex.

Ask yourself- why are you concerned with another person's experience? Why do YOU care so much about how amatonormative society sees asexual people as a whole? Do you think they'll treat us ALL better if you're "one of the good ones"? The only way you can make amatonormative society happy is to stop being asexual.

Acephobia is not the fault of asexual people.

End ID]

[lennadanvers]

Pride Month just started, and I wanted to take this opportunity to say something I think is implicit but that everyone should be aware of:

You are a person and that's what matters.

There shouldn't be a discussion on whether or not it's okay for people to be happy, live, have rights or have those rights be respected. Every human being (and every being, for that matter) deserves respect. Unless they are harming someone (harming meaning abuse; not just existing), they can and should do whatever makes them happy. No one needs permision to exist.

The only people who can give their opinion about your relationship are you and your partner. The only person who decides what you can and can't wear is you. The only one who knows your gender is also you. How or who you have sex, kiss, marry, live with or love is nobody else's business.

The LGBTQIA+ community is for people who aren't allo-hetero-cis. That means that if you aren't all three, allo, hetero and cis, you belong here. This is a great time to show support, because the attention is on this topic. Take this chance to educate (yourself and others) about sexual and gender identities. Do your research, talk to people in the community. Always be respectful. Ask if it's okay to ask questions, always making sure what you're asking about is something you wouldn't be uncomfortable answering to yourself. Go for general questions ("what does it mean to be [insert identity here]?", "why is [insert topic/person/action here] problematic?", "what can I do to show support?") instead of personal ones, unless the other person says they're okay with it. Remember that everyone (LGBTQIA+ or not) dresses, has relationships, talks, looks, feels and lives differently: we're all just people. If it is not your business when talking to an allo-hetero-cis, then it's not your business when talking to LGBTQIA+ people either.

It is okay to not know. As long as you're willing to learn and educate yourself, to be respectful, and to acknowledge past mistakes, it's okay. I don't know everything, but if you have any questions, I can try to answer them. Send me an ask and I'll do my best.

To any LGBTQIA+ person reading this, I know this month can be complicated. Keep in mind you don't owe anyhting to anyone. The most important thing is for you to be safe. The next most important thing is for you to be comfortable. You deserve to have both and so much more. Yes, the Industry takes advantage of Pride Month to sell stuff and look good. We can use it for visibility anyway. This is your chance to speak up if you're in the right place to do it. If you can't, or you don't feel comfortable doing it by yourself, you can send me an anonymous ask and I'll post it. If there's something you want to talk about, you can send an ask too. This is a safe space (as long as you're being respectful).

Also, this is Pride Month. It is very important to use it for activism, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't enjoy it. Have fun. Make art, memes and jokes about it. Wear rainbows and pride flags. Have a good time. Feel pride, happiness, excitement and whatever else you feel. You can be angry, hurt or sad too. You can be all at once, or none.

This blog is a safe space for everyone. If you can't find it in you to be respectful, you don't belong here. Otherwise, you're always welcome.

[drdemonprince]

I'm curious to know your take on the whole fujoshi pisscourse because I'm semi new to it and no matter how much the internet says I should be appalled that some cis women flick their beans to gay stuff... as a queer guy I simply cannot bring myself to care. I have experienced cis straight women in queer spaces being rude or even sexually inappropriate, especially to performers, but I just don't see the relationship between that and the girls watching gay porn. And I've also seen people argue that it's bad because cis straight women who are artists will write/draw stuff about gay men that's inaccurate... but again I don't see this as nefarious as the twinks on tiktok want me to believe it is, like who cares.

Yeah, I'm with you 100%. What a person gets off to is their business and no type of porn belongs to one identity group.

My gay male bestie in high school got off exclusively to straight porn -- he found the women in straight porn easier to relate to than the types of big, masc guys that get depicted in most gay porn videos.

I watch porn of any fucking gender combination because what I care about is the hypnosis and power exchange, not the people involved.

I know this couple of two trans women that broke up when one walked in on the other watching gay male "sissy" porn -- she considered it an insult to her own identity and worried that it meant her trans femme partner wasn't "really" a woman or didn't see her as one. It led to the disastrous, messy termination of a relationship of many years, and the entire basis for the rift was nonsense.

I like a lot of detrans kink / forced detransition porn because of my own insecurities and worst fears. It strikes a chord in a hot way. Before I transitioned, I looked at a lot of gay male porn especially of the silly fanfictiony variety because it gave me something to project my longings onto.

Lots of trans mascs are "cis female fujoshis" like that. And yeah, some cis women are too! They may like the escape from conventional gender role baggage, or they may have some latent gender-fuckery of their own that the fiction is allowing them to explore, or maybe they just like guys a lot and so seeing two guys together is twice as hot to them. No amount of discourse is gonna keep straight men from watching lesbian porn. So let's leave the girls to whatever gets them off!

(incidentally, I know a lot of lesbian fujoshis too).

We shouldn't be policing what others' eroticize. A person's identity has no bearing on what they might find interesting to look at or fantasize about. What matters in terms of 'protecting' the queer community is having guidelines on behavior.

The problem with cishet women being predatory at the club isn't that they're cishet, it's that they're groping people, getting in people's faces, and being rude. Anyone of any identity can do that. The only way we can prevent bad behavior is by having rules and procedures in place for dealing with it in anyone. Not by restricting which identities are allowed in the door -- that will only ever play out in a transphobic way and a way that's hostile to the questioning and closeted, and I'll have no part in it.

And certainly none of us have any business butting into what sexual thoughts play between a person's ears. There are no thought crimes. There are no emotion crimes. There are no arousal crimes. There are only behaviors that can hurt others, and if someone's actions are respectful and harm no one, their identity and what they get off to is completely their business.

[into-f0lkl0re]

Get to know me!!!

my name is faye!! my pronouns are she/they

i’m a lesbian! i’m 18! turning 19 in august!

i’m actually autistic + adhd (life is a struggle) (please be patient with me because i can not read social cues for the life of me and sometimes have trouble putting my thoughts into words)

i just finished my freshman year of college!! ( very scary!)

i have been writing for my whole life but writing fanfics since i was 13 but didn’t write for a long time and only recently got back into it!! i’m currently unemployed :( and have been looking for a job in my home town! ( i’m home for the summer ) i got to college out of state! i am an art student!

huge theater kid unfortunately (almost became a musical theater major)

i’m from new england! ( big noah kahan fan)

i love concerts so so much

i have been to so many

i’m an og chappell fan (yupppp ik big bragging rights over here)

i competitively swam my whole life i also did basketball ball when i was younger

i’m horrible at spelling ( it a problem thank god for grammarly)

i love reading but haven’t had that much time lately

i’m interested in writing for the uconn wbb team and iowa wbb team and wnba and some other college players like georgia amoore (loml)

i’m also interested in writing for

munagenius

chappell roan

wnba

if you want me to write for anyone else just ask

a couple rules:

hate will not be tolerated

i am pro palestine 🇵🇸 majorly

anytime i can speak up for Palestine i will

i want to be more that a place for entertainment i want to be a support system for you guys

if you need to get something off your chest or just wanna talk bb i’m right here

i will be your online big sister🙏 (acting as if i’m not the youngest in my family)

i am not responsible for your media consumption

If i write smut i am trusting that you are of age reading it but im not your mother.

at the end of the day you are responsible for you

golden rule

not every post will be a fanfic but i do wanna write a lot

i am comfortable writing smut

i will not judge with requests but if you request something i am not comfortable doing i will prob not answer so if you don’t get an answer that is most likely why

when i write i will try to write with little to know physical descriptors unless im writing about an oc.

I want everyone to be able to enjoy my writing and not feel I am writing about a certain race or body type

i will not write about men or do person x amab reader because i’m not comfortable with that

but if yall want me to write about someone that has a particular trait (physical or personality wise just ask because i will if requested)

everything i write is COMPLETELY FICTIONAL!!! In no way shape or form am i assuming somebody’s sexuality or gender identity or even who they are as a person. it is none of my business. so please keep that in mind.

i will make a master list so it’s easier to find my work i just have no idea have to do that so… (if anyone knows how please help🙏)

Big thing!!

I am a person like the rest of you. someone who is constantly growing and evolving. if you find something in my work incorrect or inaccurate please tell me anonymously or not

I really appreciate that kind of thing and i am all for growing and changing to become a more educated person

just be kind i feel there is a lack of kindness today and i think we all could use a little kindness

big forehead kissed💕

-faye

[solis-pyr-nola]

LFRP - Solis Nola [PAUSED 6/19/24]

I feel I'm at capacity with RP at this time, so I'm currently paused on taking new rp partners. However if you want to do some casual OOC screaming/OC talk don't hesitate to reach out!

General:

Name: Solis Nola, formerly Solis pyr Nola

Age: ~23 ish

Race: Garlean

Hair: Pale pink

Eyes: Green

Height: 177.8cm / 5'10"

Gender: Male

Sexuality: Bisexual, male-leaning

Physique: Fit, more muscular than your average Midlander

Marital Status: Shipped

Notable Marks: Scar down the right eye, one across the bridge of his nose, and another running diagonally from shoulder blade to hip

Particulars:

Skills: Marksmanship/shooting, piloting aircraft, boxing Hobbies: Piano and reading, eventually horticulture Employment: Previously an optio in the Garlean military, now a defector and on the run

Permanent Debuffs: A dash of PTSD Religion: None

Traits:

Extroverted / In Between / Introverted

Disorganized / In Between / Organized

Close Minded / In Between / Open Minded

Calm / In Between / Anxious

Disagreeable / In Between / Agreeable

Cautious / In Between / Reckless

Patient / In Between /  Impatient

Outspoken / In Between / Reserved

Leader / In Between / Follower

Empathetic / In Between / Apathetic

Optimistic / In Between / Pessimistic

Traditional / In Between / Modern

Hard-working / In Between / Lazy

Cultured / In Between / Uncultured

Loyal / In Between / Disloyal

Faithful / In Between / Unfaithful

Summary:

The only son of a prominent pureblooded Garlean family and now a defector. His childhood consisted of integrating and learning to manipulate high society while perfecting every extra-curricular deemed strategic by his parents. He lived his privileged young life buying into the empire's propaganda, attended college for political science and economics, then enlisted in the military to be stationed in Doma. The inhumane treatment of Domans witnessed there shook Solis, but he spent several months in cowardly silence until family ties elevated him to the position of optio. Taking advantage of this new position, Solis began to relentlessly file reports of the war crimes his fellows committed. His naivety and whistle-blowing eventually resulted in being dragged from his bed and beaten until he instinctively retaliated by shooting one of his aggressors through the face. Fleeing in the tumultuous aftermath, he landed in Ishgard where he strives to hide his identity and become someone he can be proud of.

HOOKS:

Setting Sail: Are you a pirate, sailor, or otherwise have a reason to be on a ship? You just might find Solis stowing away amongst the cargo as he escapes his homeland in search of refuge An Eye for a Third Eye: Have a vendetta against Garleans? Get his ass Birds of a Feather: Are you Garlean or were/are you involved with them? Feel free to help Solis as he struggles with the realization of what his home really was, or give him some tough love so he can get back on his feet Ishgard: Should you happen to live in or visit Ishgard, you might see a young pink-haired man wearing a silver circlet across his brow and speaking in accented Eorzean. Solis can often be found conducting business in the markets, making connections, or taking an afternoon stroll with his beloved. OOC: Hello, I'm Dom, and this is a side blog for @captainqster . I'm located in the southwestern United States. I prefer long-term, multi-para rp, most likely on Discord for organizational purposes. I'm happy to meet up in game sometimes but I don't typically rp there. I enjoy dark content BUT I also enjoy wholesome things. Whether you're looking for enemies, friends, romance or other, I like all kinds of dynamics and stories. I'm also very open to OOC chat so feel free to hit me with a million questions and ideas. Message me here, I can provide my discord name for chat/planning!

[aaa-battery-not-rechargeable]

What do you think gay men are attracted to in men that they can’t be attracted to in women?

It can’t be anything about femininity or masculinity obviously. That’s both sexist, and cultural so can’t be what drives men-only attraction.

It can’t be anything about stated identity because someone could lie just as easily as they could tell the truth in such a statement, and it makes no sense because homosexuality and heterosexuality exists in other species with no stated identities. It’s not like other animals without gender are all pan.

Saying idk it’s the vibes or some indescribable trait men have that women can’t but “I can’t explain” is a nonanswer.

Soooooooo what is it? Or do you think any sexuality but bi/pan is just cultural performance or an identity rather than an inborn orientation?

- [ ]

genuinely can't tell if this is a real question you're asking me (of all people) or some sort of rage fueled hate mail but I'll answer in good faith anyway:

people are who they say and show that they are, you might have to live with their answer (on questions abt identity) if it's not one you like. people can do what they want and all you can really control is yourself. also they don't have to explain their identity or attraction to you if they don't want to, it's as simple as minding your business and realizing that you don't have to know or understand everything about everyone else and how their attraction works.

it's not about the labels or definitions it's about the human person telling you how they experience something. it's more nuanced and individualized than what you're trying to make it seem

if a person is attracted to another person, then that is literally all it is. any other thing with their identity is up to that person to label or not label as they choose

Im not here to argue about the sexuality of any other fucking species because just like with other people, it is literally none of my fucking business ! i do not care ! they can do what they want ! and if they have the want/ability to label it, fucking go for it

(also dawg if you're comparing a human brain to the brain of like a lemur or some shit, you may be beyond help)

[bisexualseraphim]

Do queer people who gatekeep sexualities and gender identities have nothing better to do like genuinely what is your problem. The whole point of the community is that gender and sexuality are more fuckity wuckity than man or woman, gay or straight and in almost 2024 we STILL have mfs going “nah that’s not a thing :/ you don’t belong in the community” unless they’re causing harm to others I seriously urge you to shut the fuck up. It is the easiest thing in the world to just say “hmm I don’t really understand that. But it’s their life and none of my business” and just move on with your life and let people live theirs. I do not give one iota of a fuck if someone identifies as a wolfgender they/them/bun/bunself AMAB transmasc who is only attracted to butches with curly hair and brown eyes IT DOES NOT AFFECT ME. I’m happy that they’ve found a way to express their identity that feels true to them and then I think about it no further. Like it takes active mental energy and emotion to get pressed over how someone expresses themselves and I don’t understand why you’d put yourself through that stress and then decide to be bitchy and make people feel like shit for being themselves. I’m seriously getting so tired of people in the community acting like it’s a fucking competition or you can only join if you meet X Y and Z criteria as if it’s some college mean girls sorority club. People are actively trying to take our rights away all the time and while this is happening we’re helping them by tearing our teeth into our own. Great

[groven4]

Markiplier Egos with an Aromantic DA / Viewer

a/n: I randomly decided I really wanna get something out for aro week, so I've got a oneshot mayhaps involving a certain adventurer in the works, but knowing me that might take a while (if I even finish it all) and these tend to be easier for me. So, that's why this exists...not that you asked.

(edit: made one for Ace hcs.)

WILFORD WARFSTACHE

He wouldn't really care, but in like a supportive way.

He may not look like it, but the guy's got some common sense.

I can't see him as the type to ask a lot of questions especially if you're visibly uncomfortable around the topic. (tho ig he might if it's for an interview, not sure)

A big part of Wil's character is just accepting shit as it is and not questioning what you can't understand because falling down that spiral is ultimately unhealthy; so if you were to come out to him as any sexuality/gender identity, he'd most likely just accept you immediately and move one.

Expect to receive a lot of aro themed stickers on pride month though.

DARKIPLIER

Also doesn't care, but it's less him being supportive (tho he is) and more: it doesn't affect him, so why should he care?

Like you do you. Your love life is none of his business.

Quite frankly, he couldn't give a shit.

Though, he might find some relatability with you.

Despite how one might interpret ADWM, I cannot see Dark as an entity with the capability to feel much of anything. (other than rage, vengefulness, etc.)

There are some vague memories of past feelings from both Celine and Damien (and possibly the house entity, idk) mostly shown through his clear favoritism for Wil.

However, I don't think he really can feel romantic feelings, nor does he want to.

Being loved sounds nice, but ultimately it would just get in the way.

So having someone around that's kind of like him in that regard is almost nice...cathartic even.

You both like to watch 'marriage gameshows' (the bachelor, love is blind, etc.) over wine and laugh about how you'll never have to deal with relationship problems. (idc if that one's ooc)

GOOGLEPLIER

He can't really feel romantic attraction himself, yk being a robot and all.

If you tried explaining aromanticism to him he'd probably just be like: "Yeah, and??".

He's supportive in a sense, that sense being: you not having a partner would mean one less meat sack he has to deal with once he manages to get admin privileges.

BINGIPLIER

Kinda stumped on this one ngl.

I just can't find a reason why he'd care whatsoever.

He'd just be like: "Oh...siiiick, brah." with total Bill and Ted energy.

ACTOR

(edit: this is pre-wkm btw. idk why I did that, it doesn't really fit with the others that way. so I probably won't do it again in future hcs. sorry ig.)

I imagine it comes up at a party.

He starts asking you about your love life.

You tell him that you've never really been interested in that kind of stuff, and you probably never will.

What does he do?

...

He calls you boring.

...

AND THEN JUST FUCKIN' WALKS AWAY- like- ????

In all seriousness, he's mostly chill about it throughout your friendship, but it's hard for me not to picture him as the type to think you're just being naive and that 'everyone has to find someone someday'. (I believe WKM takes place in the 1920s, so like, what were you expecting?)

That is until Celine cheats on him.

It was just such a world shattering thing for him, he genuinely loved her more than anything.

It's not a complete 180°, he doesn't suddenly understand your lack of attraction from this, but one night you check in with him to find him wasted in his wine cellar and he's basically like: "You had it right all along, my friend. Love...Love is not for everyone. ...Certainly not the faint of heart."

Which like, you didn't choose this, but you were more focused on making sure he was okay at the time to care.

YANCY

A part of me wants to think he'd be a little confused at first just cause the idea of having to explain aromanticism and/or asexuality to him because he's just genuinely curious is really adorable to me.

However, the rest of me refuses to believe his friend group isn't entirely comprised of both people in the lgbtq+ community and hardcore allies who would happily beat the shit out of aphobes on a daily basis.

Not to say that they think of you as child-like because of your sexuality, but it's a prison family and you're 'fresh meat' so you're their little aro-bean now whether you like it or not.

Yancy especially is protective of you in an almost older brother type way.

So if after/during coming out to them (or just him) you mention how scared you were/are because you've had a lot of bad experiences or something, he's like constantly ready to sucker punch and/or ballerina kick anyone giving you flack over just being who you are.

He's always willing to tell you how valid you are when you need to hear it, and overall is just a really great friend.

...Even with the stabbing.

ILLINOIS

In an odd way, he almost feels...relieved?

Call it a humble brag, but literally all of his past work partners had fallen in love with him at some point, and while the attention certainly feeds his ego, that kinda thing just gets tired and even annoying after a while.

So knowing that'll never happen with you is actually a nice break from what he's grown so used to.

He's never had someone around who genuinely enjoys adventuring as much as he does.

And who isn't like constantly ogling him. (I mean probably anyway, idk what it's like to be aroallo)

Having you around may also cause him to start questioning some things about himself, particularly when you're explaining your orientation.

But that's a topic we'll be getting into at another time! (*wink* *wink* *nudge* *nudge* *stares at empty draft*)

He's still used to trying to fluster people cause he finds it funny and in general is just the kind of person to be a bit touchy with his friends (meaning: platonic hand holding, hugs, head/back pats, standing weirdly close a lot of the time just naturally, etc.), so if you're ever uncomfortable just tell him and he'll cut it out straight away.

You're both just kinda really good friends, and he's not at all weird about it like you thought he might be.

CAPTAIN MAGNUM

Supportive Pirate Dad! 10/10!

You definitely have to explain what it means to him, but he verbally accepted you before he even asked.

Kinda like: "That's great!...What is it?-"

Would have the crew sew you a flag if it would make you happy.

They are still pirates who have been sailing across the deep blue their whole lives with presumably no contact with the mainland however.

So unless you for some fuckin reason told them what it looks like, you can expect to receive a relatively small, plain black flag with the word 'Arrowmantik.' spelled incorrectly and somehow sewn on in perfect white Helvetica.

...

You hung the flag right above your hammock.

It is your most prized possession.

HEAD ENGINEER

Might be a little discouraged at first. His crush on you was a tad obvious.

But he figures it's for the best. You are the captain after all. Pursuing that relationship wouldn't have been professional in the slightest.

It does take a bit but he gets over it eventually.

He still genuinely loves you platonically/as a person, so things don't really change all that much.

You still have a strong friendship and work really well together.

He tends to go a bit overboard now about giving you personal space cause he doesn't want to make you uncomfortable. So you may have to reassure him multiple times if it wasn't an issue.

During when pride month would be on earth he might gift you little aro themed stuff, like a patch you can't actually add to your uniform for work reasons but love and appreciate anyway.

He may not fully understand how you feel, but he never stops trying to, and either way he's always gonna support you no matter what.

Your orientation could never change how much he loves and trusts you both as a captain and as his friend.

MURDOCK

He doesn't really care since it doesn't affect what you guys do, though he is openly accepting, especially if it seemed like you needed to hear that it wasn't something that bothered him.

In a similar vein to Illinois, he's strangely grateful.

He's not sure how he would've dealt with the situation had you developed a crush on him. Such emotions tend to get in the way more often than not in his line of work.

He didn't wanna have to kill you just to make his life easier. Taking a life out of necessity isn't as much fun, plus he'd grown a tad fond of you.

I like to think he cares quite a bit about your mental health, it would make sense given the whole murder thing.

So if you often go through periods of doubt or even internalized self hatred regarding being aromantic, he's gonna be there to help you through it.

He goes with you to pride parades and if anyone tries to tell you that you don't belong there, they're immediately getting put on a black list.

He got you a nifty little keychain once while you were there.

Overall, surprisingly wholesome.

a/n: I went back and forth on whether or not I was gonna use the pronouns I hc them all as using, but in the end I just said 'fuck it, appeal to general audiences, why not at this point'. I'm really fuckin' tired, dude. Just- HAPPY ARO WEEK! ig.

[svnflowermoon]

Is it stupid that I can't come out to my gay friends?

Like I'm nonbinary and aroace, but they don't know that, and I'm scared of them knowing. It's not even like they think I'm straight

hi anon!

i'm currently on a tumblr break but i saw this and just had to answer this.

it is not stupid at all. please never feel like your feelings are invalid or dumb. coming out is not a requirement and there is no set timeframe, you should come out when you feel comfortable and only then. it's completely fair enough to be scared, no matter who it is you're coming out to. fear is a completely normal feeling in this situation and it is entirely valid. feeling scared to come out to your gay friends is not stupid because coming out is a big thing, no matter who you're coming out to, you're putting your identity into words and trusting someone with it.

i, personally, am only specifically out to like two people irl. one of those people is my mum. a lot of my friends are queer and they know that i am also queer but i just have never specifically addressed the situation because i don't feel the need to. i figured out that i was a lesbian when i was about 14 (i'm almost 17 now) and i told no one for about half a year. i was terrified. i hinted things to my mum and tried to figure out how accepting she would be by mentioning books like heartstopper (she ended up reading every single book so little mum appreciation here i love her). i told her maybe 6 months after i'd figured out myself. i have specifically told one of my friends and that is it. (i haven't mentioned anything about gender related stuff to anyone irl and i honestly don't really feel the need to because i'm not even really sure myself)

i felt a lot of guilt for not telling some of them and my dad and brother for the longest time before realising that it quite literally is none of their business. i'll tell the rest of my family when i'm ready but i doubt i'll ever put a specific label on my sexuality for my friends.

what i'm getting at is that i feel safe around my friends and i know they're accepting. i could easily come out in my situation but i'm not sure if i'm mentally ready for that and i also just don't want to make it a big deal. your identity is your own and it is not required that you tell anyone.

you sound like you want to come out to your friends, and you absolutely should if you feel comfortable. but don't rush it. you do not owe anyone anything within any time frame other than your own. let it happen when you feel ready, as long as you feel safe around them everything will turn out fine in the end <33

remember that you are loved and your feelings are valid my love <3

[asspinkie]

Tav Character Worksheet

thank you for the tag @hybernating-bear <333

i'm doing my dark urge because she is my favorite! and also because i don't have a tav yet who has a developed enough background to share. i don't have a ton of photos bc i am lazy by nature but this is her:

Name: Finwe (because I am a fringe Tolkien fan and it sounded cool)

Sexuality: Bisexual

Pronouns: She/her

O T H E R

Family: She's a Bhaalspawn so her biological family is Orin the deranged as fuck and Bhaal. Not a great lineup, but she has strong familial companionship with her travelling companions.

Birthplace: Created by Bhaal!

Job: Pregame - murdering the innocent citizens of Baldur's Gate. During game - amnesiac ranger that's gonna save that stupid fucking city if it kills her.

Phobia: spiders. god, why are there so many of them in the underdark.

Guilty Pleasure: Uhm. Thinking about Raphael probably. But also, since leaving the Cult of Bhaal and forging her own identity, she's been trying out a lot of mundane things. Her favorites (which make her feel instinctually guilty because they're not murdery) are 1. saying out of pocket things to the other patrons of the rowdy mermaid to try to get astarion to laugh. he does not. and 2. eating so many baked goods

Hobbies: Doing something hilarious at every opportunity to piss off astarion. She's also trying to learn to play the lute but none of the criticism has been,,, constructive so far.

(sorry if the image quality is terrible! i am not tech smart)

M O R A L S

Alignment: Chaotic good I think? I spent the game picking the funniest (most likely to get her into fights) dialogue options and helping people. Shithead energy for real.

Sins: Death is a necessity and Finwe isn't afraid to be its arbiter if it accomplishes her goals. She takes things too personally and acts impulsively, but is often too stubborn to admit when she's wrong. She can also be on the manipulative side if it serves her purposes.

Virtues: She'll help anyone who asks (if their morals align with hers). She's also fiercely protective of her friends and will go to bat for them if they're threatened in any way.

(^the weed in baldur's gate just hits different apparently) (i just can't take good screenshots)

THIS OR THAT

Introverted / Extroverted

Organized / Disorganized (she spends hours on camp inventory with lae'zel. clipboard and everything)

Close Minded / Open Minded

Calm / Anxious / Restless

Disagreeable / Agreeable / In between

Patient / Impatient / In between

Outspoken / Reserved / In between

Leader / Follower / Flexible (she can and will drag everyone into danger. the only time she steps aside is when its their business - she won't make personal choices for anyone she cares about).

Empathetic / Unempathetic / In between

Optimist / Pessimist / Realist (has a lot of stupid hope that somehow pays off every time?)

Traditional / Modern / In between (this means gender roles i think?? the first person she encountered with amnesia was lae'zel. women are god to her.)

Hardworking / Lazy / In between (often accidentally hard-working because she doesn't ever think long enough to strategize and thus ends up doing everything the hard way)

R E L A T I O N S H I P S

OTP: Astarion, but she's also involved with Halsin.

Other ships: She is a little bit in love with everyone (someone new, Hozier vibes), but if she had to pair with someone else it would be Lae'zel.

Brotp: Her best friend, ride or die, is Lae'zel. they will fuck you up together.

Notp: She's not the best of friends with Gale or Shadowheart. Because she definitely led them both on and is incredibly evasive by nature, so things are a bit awkward now. She also absolutely hates mizora.

thanks again for the tag!! i had a lot of fun with this. i don't really tag, so if you want to do this, feel free!

[autisticlee]

the whole "you shouldn't identify as X, don't form an identity when you can't/don't know yet, you're too young, what if/you might change your mind!" etc etc. it's so silly when you think about it. what's wrong with changing your mind anyway? why did we all decide that gender/sexuality identity has to be static and can never change? why did we decide that it's a bad thing to change? because the old generation tells us change is bad? because they (mostly conservatives) want to conserve "the good old days/the way things are supposed to be" in their minds???

WHO CARES if someone says they're gay then realizes 5 years later they're bi. WHO CARES if someone says they're a girl and realizes after trying it out they're not. let people explore who they are until they figure it out even if they go through every lable available to them! maybe none fit and they make up their own! who cares! who cares if they change it every year for the rest of their lives! humans change. that's the only constant about us! why is it a bad thing, even taboo, to accept change and exploration within sexuality and gender specifically?

there's always so much shame that comes with someone realizing they were wrong, changing as a person, or discovering something new about themselves. i've seen people afraid to explore themselves more or afraid to talk about a change in identity, for fear of the queer community pushing back on them the same way they're afraid to come out to the cishets in their life who are trans/homophobic. that's just not fair that their own community can become hostile towards them, too. being in a closet within a bigger closet essentially. everyone is always told to figure it all out first before claiming an identity, because then you're locked in it for life, apparently. you can't change your mind after that. why though? what's the point of that really? why can't we embrace fluidity a bit more? why can't we accept that humans do change all the time? why is making and trying to prove that these identities are static/unchanging/innate the only way to validate them? why can't they just, I don't know, BE VALID. without reason. why must we jump through hoops to be valid when we should just automatically be valid because we are human. stop letting the cishets gatekeep everything, leading to us gatekeeping each other!

I am sometimes very hesitant to talk about my own identity. I identified as a gay/biromantic trans guy for like idk 8-10 years? transitioned and everything. then like a year or two ago, I realized/decided that doesn't fit right anymore. now i'm a nonbinary, but also kinda fluid, aroace person. sometimes I don't like to talk about that because of the stigma behind changing your gender/sexuality identities. but you know what. i'll talk about it anyway and people have to learn to accept it.

what were the consequences and bad parts about changing my mind/identity like that? none. absolutely none. (outside of people being weird about it for no reason) but the benefits are feeling more comfortable with myself, and that's no one else's business.

[runthepockets]

I don't think it's immoral to speculate over the sexualities and gender identities of strangers (dead or alive) but I do think it's kind of pointless. Unless someone tells me explicitly they've got some shit going on it's none of my business. There's also plenty of living and openly gay and trans people to idolize and uplift in the meantime.

[doctorguilty]

Prev post (before my personal post) like truly trying to stress to people that get up in arms about sex and labels is like, you don't HAVE to be sexually attracted to someone in order to have sex with them. Sex is an activity. Not in the sense that it CAN'T have deeper meaning to some people, but it doesn't to other people, and objectively, it's an activity. That people can do for any reason they feel like doing it.

The rigid idea that sex can only be done between people who are sexually attracted to certain bodies, genders, or otherwise and if you break that mold, you MUST be a different identity, really falls apart the moment you consider sexual orientations on the asexual spectrum, gender identities on the non-binary spectrum (which, contrary to popular belief, doesn't start and end with "not a man or woman but a secret third thing"), intersex people, and sex workers.

If you want to support queerness you just have to accept, some people are going to label themselves in ways you find confusing or contradictory. People who share YOUR labels are going to use them in ways you find uncomfortable. You just have to deal with that. You can't decide for someone ELSE who they should and shouldn't be attracted to, and who they should and shouldn't have sex with. You can't revoke someone else's identity no matter how much it makes you grind your teeth. That's really it. Learn to say "while I'd personally be uncomfortable doing that, that person is not me, and it's none of my business" and cope.