#someone's sexuality is none of my business. someone's gender identity is none of my business. whether someone is ace is none of my business
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martitheevans · 2 months ago
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*grabs you by the shoulders* listen to me you need to care less about what other people are doing with their lives, you need to be okay with people's interests even if they're weird, you need to be okay with people's identities even if you disagree with them, you need to learn to be okay with things and you will be better off, you will be happy and you will be a hell of a lot less angry
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renniferno · 6 months ago
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happy pride y'all i'm the vague approximation of a person piloting a broken down meatmech they/them engaged to a he/they lesbian on manitizer and i'm here to make it everyone else's problem
#rendom thoughts#pride#hope you have good genders and nongenders and attractions of various flavor and other queer identities that are none of our fuckin business#genuinely mean it hope you all have a good time#to all my guys who kinda feel like girls sometimes but are too tired to#to all my girls who just cannot be fucked to shave#to my guys just starting to get body hair for the first time#To those who are so outside of attraction that you reject labels about it#to the people still figuring it out#to the people -still-. still fucking figuring it out.#to the people who haven't started figuring it out at all yet#to the people that have it all figured out#to the people who don't care if it's figured out or not#to the people who have identities shaped by trauma#to the people who couldn't even do it right when they thought they were cis#to intersex people#to bi girls that become pan girls that become ace women that become nonbinary lesbians#to the dykes that become boys that become men that become the fathers they wish they'd had#to those of us who made it#to those of us that didn't#and especially to all the ones who are still trying to make it through#You're loved. You will be loved in the way you need#You may think no one will ever see the parts you say you miss and still think you're worth it but i promise you they are out there#whatever way you need to feel seen#to feel happy#someone is out there for you#yes sexually if that is what you need. yes romantically if that's what you need. even the queer platonic relationships#for my aro/aces who genuinely do not need anyone and really wish people would stop assuming they have to have that kind of attachment#for my aro people who are not ace and really wish everyone would stop assuming they were#and everyone else
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vampgirlgem · 1 year ago
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ah. the discourse is back. fortunately i do not care
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salty-dracon · 1 year ago
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I made this meme a while ago in response to the climate of the asexual communities on Reddit, specifically the meme subreddit r/aaaaaaacccccccce, which was constantly warring between "too many sex-repulsed memes" and "too many sex-favorable" memes.
Asexuality by definition is experiencing little to no sexual attraction to other people regardless of gender. It is considered an umbrella of sexualities. Every kind of ace person in the world exists, and you have no right to say that someone "isn't really asexual" or "is actively harming the community" by approaching life the way they do. Keep in mind that discrimination for being asexual intersects with race, gender, other queer identities, disability, and other factors.
How any individual asexual chooses to lead their life with regards to their asexual identity is none of my business as a human being. Rather, it is my duty to listen to their experiences and accept that even if they're not my own, that they're still a part of the community. And, as a human being, every asexual has a story worth listening to.
Text transcription under the cut:
[ID: A "The Simpsons Bus Stop" meme. The top panel is unchanged, it is a bus driver saying "don't make me tap the sign". The bottom panel, where the bus driver points to the sign, says the following:
There is no universal asexual experience. Part of being a community is understanding that there are people who have experiences that differ from your own, or what you think is the "proper" asexual experience. The existence of one experience does not invalidate the existence of another. You have no right to tell a real person that their expression is harming the community because they are sex-repulsed or sex-favorable and you are the opposite. Their experience is not the same as yours. That's normal.
You might argue that the existence of sex-repulsed asexuals leads to the perception that all of us can't have sex ever, which makes your allo partners think you're lying when you say you're asexual, or that the existence of sex-favorable asexuals makes allos think that you can be coerced into sex.
Ask yourself- why are you concerned with another person's experience? Why do YOU care so much about how amatonormative society sees asexual people as a whole? Do you think they'll treat us ALL better if you're "one of the good ones"? The only way you can make amatonormative society happy is to stop being asexual.
Acephobia is not the fault of asexual people.
End ID]
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lennadanvers · 6 months ago
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Pride Month just started, and I wanted to take this opportunity to say something I think is implicit but that everyone should be aware of:
You are a person and that's what matters.
There shouldn't be a discussion on whether or not it's okay for people to be happy, live, have rights or have those rights be respected. Every human being (and every being, for that matter) deserves respect. Unless they are harming someone (harming meaning abuse; not just existing), they can and should do whatever makes them happy. No one needs permision to exist.
The only people who can give their opinion about your relationship are you and your partner. The only person who decides what you can and can't wear is you. The only one who knows your gender is also you. How or who you have sex, kiss, marry, live with or love is nobody else's business.
The LGBTQIA+ community is for people who aren't allo-hetero-cis. That means that if you aren't all three, allo, hetero and cis, you belong here. This is a great time to show support, because the attention is on this topic. Take this chance to educate (yourself and others) about sexual and gender identities. Do your research, talk to people in the community. Always be respectful. Ask if it's okay to ask questions, always making sure what you're asking about is something you wouldn't be uncomfortable answering to yourself. Go for general questions ("what does it mean to be [insert identity here]?", "why is [insert topic/person/action here] problematic?", "what can I do to show support?") instead of personal ones, unless the other person says they're okay with it. Remember that everyone (LGBTQIA+ or not) dresses, has relationships, talks, looks, feels and lives differently: we're all just people. If it is not your business when talking to an allo-hetero-cis, then it's not your business when talking to LGBTQIA+ people either.
It is okay to not know. As long as you're willing to learn and educate yourself, to be respectful, and to acknowledge past mistakes, it's okay. I don't know everything, but if you have any questions, I can try to answer them. Send me an ask and I'll do my best.
To any LGBTQIA+ person reading this, I know this month can be complicated. Keep in mind you don't owe anyhting to anyone. The most important thing is for you to be safe. The next most important thing is for you to be comfortable. You deserve to have both and so much more. Yes, the Industry takes advantage of Pride Month to sell stuff and look good. We can use it for visibility anyway. This is your chance to speak up if you're in the right place to do it. If you can't, or you don't feel comfortable doing it by yourself, you can send me an anonymous ask and I'll post it. If there's something you want to talk about, you can send an ask too. This is a safe space (as long as you're being respectful).
Also, this is Pride Month. It is very important to use it for activism, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't enjoy it. Have fun. Make art, memes and jokes about it. Wear rainbows and pride flags. Have a good time. Feel pride, happiness, excitement and whatever else you feel. You can be angry, hurt or sad too. You can be all at once, or none.
This blog is a safe space for everyone. If you can't find it in you to be respectful, you don't belong here. Otherwise, you're always welcome.
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drdemonprince · 10 months ago
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I'm curious to know your take on the whole fujoshi pisscourse because I'm semi new to it and no matter how much the internet says I should be appalled that some cis women flick their beans to gay stuff... as a queer guy I simply cannot bring myself to care. I have experienced cis straight women in queer spaces being rude or even sexually inappropriate, especially to performers, but I just don't see the relationship between that and the girls watching gay porn. And I've also seen people argue that it's bad because cis straight women who are artists will write/draw stuff about gay men that's inaccurate... but again I don't see this as nefarious as the twinks on tiktok want me to believe it is, like who cares.
Yeah, I'm with you 100%. What a person gets off to is their business and no type of porn belongs to one identity group.
My gay male bestie in high school got off exclusively to straight porn -- he found the women in straight porn easier to relate to than the types of big, masc guys that get depicted in most gay porn videos.
I watch porn of any fucking gender combination because what I care about is the hypnosis and power exchange, not the people involved.
I know this couple of two trans women that broke up when one walked in on the other watching gay male "sissy" porn -- she considered it an insult to her own identity and worried that it meant her trans femme partner wasn't "really" a woman or didn't see her as one. It led to the disastrous, messy termination of a relationship of many years, and the entire basis for the rift was nonsense.
I like a lot of detrans kink / forced detransition porn because of my own insecurities and worst fears. It strikes a chord in a hot way. Before I transitioned, I looked at a lot of gay male porn especially of the silly fanfictiony variety because it gave me something to project my longings onto.
Lots of trans mascs are "cis female fujoshis" like that. And yeah, some cis women are too! They may like the escape from conventional gender role baggage, or they may have some latent gender-fuckery of their own that the fiction is allowing them to explore, or maybe they just like guys a lot and so seeing two guys together is twice as hot to them. No amount of discourse is gonna keep straight men from watching lesbian porn. So let's leave the girls to whatever gets them off!
(incidentally, I know a lot of lesbian fujoshis too).
We shouldn't be policing what others' eroticize. A person's identity has no bearing on what they might find interesting to look at or fantasize about. What matters in terms of 'protecting' the queer community is having guidelines on behavior.
The problem with cishet women being predatory at the club isn't that they're cishet, it's that they're groping people, getting in people's faces, and being rude. Anyone of any identity can do that. The only way we can prevent bad behavior is by having rules and procedures in place for dealing with it in anyone. Not by restricting which identities are allowed in the door -- that will only ever play out in a transphobic way and a way that's hostile to the questioning and closeted, and I'll have no part in it.
And certainly none of us have any business butting into what sexual thoughts play between a person's ears. There are no thought crimes. There are no emotion crimes. There are no arousal crimes. There are only behaviors that can hurt others, and if someone's actions are respectful and harm no one, their identity and what they get off to is completely their business.
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into-f0lkl0re · 5 months ago
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Get to know me!!!
my name is faye!! my pronouns are she/they
i’m a lesbian! i’m 18! turning 19 in august!
i’m actually autistic + adhd (life is a struggle) (please be patient with me because i can not read social cues for the life of me and sometimes have trouble putting my thoughts into words)
i just finished my freshman year of college!! ( very scary!)
i have been writing for my whole life but writing fanfics since i was 13 but didn’t write for a long time and only recently got back into it!! i’m currently unemployed :( and have been looking for a job in my home town! ( i’m home for the summer ) i got to college out of state! i am an art student!
huge theater kid unfortunately (almost became a musical theater major)
i’m from new england! ( big noah kahan fan)
i love concerts so so much
i have been to so many
i’m an og chappell fan (yupppp ik big bragging rights over here)
i competitively swam my whole life i also did basketball ball when i was younger
i’m horrible at spelling ( it a problem thank god for grammarly)
i love reading but haven’t had that much time lately
i’m interested in writing for the uconn wbb team and iowa wbb team and wnba and some other college players like georgia amoore (loml)
i’m also interested in writing for
munagenius
chappell roan
wnba
if you want me to write for anyone else just ask
a couple rules:
hate will not be tolerated
i am pro palestine 🇵🇸 majorly
anytime i can speak up for Palestine i will
i want to be more that a place for entertainment i want to be a support system for you guys
if you need to get something off your chest or just wanna talk bb i’m right here
i will be your online big sister🙏 (acting as if i’m not the youngest in my family)
i am not responsible for your media consumption
If i write smut i am trusting that you are of age reading it but im not your mother.
at the end of the day you are responsible for you
golden rule
not every post will be a fanfic but i do wanna write a lot
i am comfortable writing smut
i will not judge with requests but if you request something i am not comfortable doing i will prob not answer so if you don’t get an answer that is most likely why
when i write i will try to write with little to know physical descriptors unless im writing about an oc.
I want everyone to be able to enjoy my writing and not feel I am writing about a certain race or body type
i will not write about men or do person x amab reader because i’m not comfortable with that
but if yall want me to write about someone that has a particular trait (physical or personality wise just ask because i will if requested)
everything i write is COMPLETELY FICTIONAL!!! In no way shape or form am i assuming somebody’s sexuality or gender identity or even who they are as a person. it is none of my business. so please keep that in mind.
i will make a master list so it’s easier to find my work i just have no idea have to do that so… (if anyone knows how please help🙏)
Big thing!!
I am a person like the rest of you. someone who is constantly growing and evolving. if you find something in my work incorrect or inaccurate please tell me anonymously or not
I really appreciate that kind of thing and i am all for growing and changing to become a more educated person
just be kind i feel there is a lack of kindness today and i think we all could use a little kindness
big forehead kissed💕
-faye
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So if asexual means no attraction does that include romantic attraction? What would you call someone who is experiences no romantic attraction but does experience sexual attraction? Your spilt no spilt attraction mobel rule leaves out a lot of people. would someone who experiences sexual attraction but not romcr attraction still be asexual? That would not make any sense because asexual has the word sexual in it imping it only includes no sexual attraction not no romantic attraction. Also why would someone who has only experienced sexual attraction once in their life or once every 5 years not be asexual? 99% of the time they are completely asexual. Why would they want to label based on that one 1% of sexual attraction and or activity. Forcing labels on people doesn't make sense. There is nothing wrong with non sam aces or black stripe aces but there is no need to spread hate hiding as your opinion. Sexual attraction and romantic attraction are fundamentally different. I feel sexual attraction to people that if I dated or kisses them outside of sex I would be grossed out. I don't see the problem with labeling both sexual and romantic attraction. Whenever I come out I say I'm aromantic but not asexual. That right there is using the spilt attraction model. Also sexualies and genders are meant for the person who labels themselves. Not everyone can or wants to come out. Queer identity don't need to be broad because sometimes they aren't made to share. I am not openly aromantic at my school because it's none of their business.
I'm not trying to send hate I'm just confused.
Okay. I've answered this so many times and linked to it so many times and yet no one actually reads my shit. I am not mad at you or anything, its just frustrating. I'm just gonna list out a few points real quick and leave it at that.
-gray areas exist within any label. They NEED to exist. And its good that they do. Because no one will ever perfectly fit into any box, and the encouragement to explore is what gray area allows. It also takes into account varied life experiences and other personal identities. Trying to identify your attraction to be hyper specific makes it harder for gray area to exist. For gray area to function correctly, terms need to be broad.
This gray area is why someone who only experiences attraction once every 5 years can still fall under asexual. They could also fall under not asexual. The gray area allows them that choice. But if we were to use microlabels and the SAM it would involve hyper analyzing that attraction and causing more boxes for the person to fit into.
-sexuality does not mean sex. Thats... very odd of you to say? I mean, the community gets enough hate as 'sex perverts' as it is just for people to claim the word 'sexuality' means specifically sex. Bisexual does not mean sex with everyone. It means attraction to everyone. Attraction is a feeling you have towards someone. Sex is an act. They aren't the same. Not every crush you have will have you feeling horny, nor will they all have you feeling romantic. The attraction stays the same, the actions you wish to do with them do not. It's very important that you realize that. Asexuality is not the lack of sex, just like bisexual isnt the abundance (I mean it could be for any random individual person but not on the whole lol). Its about attraction. End of.
-You can't meaningfully separate sexual and romantic attraction. Nor can you meaningfully separate them from platonic attraction. All forms of attraction leave room for gray area, for overlap. Because we are capable of loving the same person on so many different levels. By trying to seperate them, you are pulling apart and creating boxes that are impossible to truly fit into. Attraction is attraction. Why make a million and one different boxes when you can just let yourself be in a broad label and experiences far more?
-More directly for the SAM there are a few things that just... don't work:
1. Is it a descriptor or a sexuality? A sexuality tells you 'who' someone is attracted to. That's it. Nothing else. Do you like one gender, no gender, or more than one?
A descriptor talks about 'what' you want to do with someone or 'how' you experience your sexuality. You like men, want to date, but don't like sex. Or you like men, want sex, but not to date. Or any other combination.
With the SAM people treat asexuality as both a seperate sexuality and a descriptor. To the point where someone telling me they are asexual doesnt mean anything at all. With all the various ways to describe one's preferences, the single word asexual could mean dating is on the table, or off. Or that sex is on the table or off. It could mean we need to be friends for a week or for a few years. It could mean no hugs, but other affections might be alright. It could mean once I show attraction back, you'll lose interest, or you'll never even think of me till I express myself first.
The point of a sexuality label is to just give a broad idea of 'who' someone likes. And if you are using the SAM you are unable to do that with the word asexual on it's own. There isnt even a gray area involved, because there is no area to be gray in the first place.
2. This also leaves room for change. As what you want in a relationship can actually change. However, 'who' you like does not. The SAM allows people to change their sexuality as they grow. This has and will continue to lead to homophobic ideas of 'forcing the gay' out of people. Sexuality doesnt change. That's a massive point of our movement. We physically can't change, this is who we are, and we deserve to be ourselves. Which is underdermined by people within our own community encouraging people to change their label and sexuality when ever they want cuz 'none of it is real/matters.'
3. It can't be limited to asexuality. You can divide any sexuality up using the split attraction model to describe how you experience your attraction. I have seen people do it. And this again, turns asexuality away from being able to function as a sexuality in its own right. Just saying its only for asexuality doesnt mean anything. There simply isnt enough to show how only asexuality can be divided up like that.
4. It just keeps going. As I said above, you never actually know what someone means when they say they're asexual. And once you start having to use 5 different 'sexualities' within the SAM to describe yourself-- then the labels become obsolete. They are only a few labels because they are supposed to be easily remembered. If I need to look up what your sexuality means, then it's gone too far.
Cuz the SAM has so many microlabels tied into it now, that you can't pull it apart.
Going further, that's also why you end up with asexuality being used as a descriptor so often. 'Lesbian asexual' for example. Asexuality is a descriptor to show how a person experiences their lesbian attraction. Its no longer its own identity and makes the sexuality by itself have no real meaning (see previous points).
I personally think asexuality should be a term in its own right. Which means it can't help describe 'how' someone experiences attraction. It just means the lack of attraction.
5. A big part of our activism is resources. Putting money towards helping people within specific groups. If there are a million and one labels, it becomes very hard to give out proper funding. And trying to give help towards specific asexual issues in a broad sense would be impossible due to all the different meanings of asexual (thus different needs). Even without funds, just an asexual support group would have issues since the members really wouldn't be able to relate in terms of sexuality due to all the different meanings of their identities.
6. Check out my FAQ. But a massive concern of mine is asexuals who experience no sexual attraction, having sex. This causes a massive amount of mental health issues. I have sources from actual asexuals in my FAQ on that. You just gotta find it (and I gotta organize it). But this is usually pressured onto people due to the SAM.
7. I'd argue the SAM forces labels onto people more than broad terms do.
-In terms of your last point of things not needing to be broad cuz they dont need to be shared. I'd again point out, you're discussing preferences. From what you said it sounds like you are fine with sex, but not dating. Thats a descriptor, which is fine. But its not a sexuality. Its a preference. You still experience attraction, you just dont care to date. I was the opposite for a while too. And the only people with whom your descriptors matter is yourself and any possible partners.
So you're right. They are personal. But there doesnt need to be a million and one terms to describe how you experience attraction or what you want in a relationship. And they certainly shouldn't be called a sexuality. Its good to know what you want/need in a relationship. But trying to label and box up each part of it is limiting yourself far more than a broad term ever will. Descriptors are such a personal experience, which is why they can't easily translate into large communities, labels, or activism. So why label and box it up?
I hope... some part of that made some sort of sense for you. A little bit longer than indended but 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️. I always tend to write a lot lol. Ain't proof reading as always, sorry not sorry.
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solis-pyr-nola · 10 months ago
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LFRP - Solis Nola [PAUSED 6/19/24]
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I feel I'm at capacity with RP at this time, so I'm currently paused on taking new rp partners. However if you want to do some casual OOC screaming/OC talk don't hesitate to reach out!
General:
Name: Solis Nola, formerly Solis pyr Nola
Age: ~23 ish
Race: Garlean
Hair: Pale pink
Eyes: Green
Height: 177.8cm / 5'10"
Gender: Male
Sexuality: Bisexual, male-leaning
Physique: Fit, more muscular than your average Midlander
Marital Status: Shipped
Notable Marks: Scar down the right eye, one across the bridge of his nose, and another running diagonally from shoulder blade to hip
Particulars:
Skills: Marksmanship/shooting, piloting aircraft, boxing Hobbies: Piano and reading, eventually horticulture Employment: Previously an optio in the Garlean military, now a defector and on the run
Permanent Debuffs: A dash of PTSD Religion: None
Traits:
Extroverted / In Between / Introverted
Disorganized / In Between / Organized
Close Minded / In Between / Open Minded
Calm / In Between / Anxious
Disagreeable / In Between / Agreeable
Cautious / In Between / Reckless
Patient / In Between /  Impatient
Outspoken / In Between / Reserved
Leader / In Between / Follower
Empathetic / In Between / Apathetic
Optimistic / In Between / Pessimistic
Traditional / In Between / Modern
Hard-working / In Between / Lazy
Cultured / In Between / Uncultured
Loyal / In Between / Disloyal
Faithful / In Between / Unfaithful
Summary:
The only son of a prominent pureblooded Garlean family and now a defector. His childhood consisted of integrating and learning to manipulate high society while perfecting every extra-curricular deemed strategic by his parents. He lived his privileged young life buying into the empire's propaganda, attended college for political science and economics, then enlisted in the military to be stationed in Doma. The inhumane treatment of Domans witnessed there shook Solis, but he spent several months in cowardly silence until family ties elevated him to the position of optio. Taking advantage of this new position, Solis began to relentlessly file reports of the war crimes his fellows committed. His naivety and whistle-blowing eventually resulted in being dragged from his bed and beaten until he instinctively retaliated by shooting one of his aggressors through the face. Fleeing in the tumultuous aftermath, he landed in Ishgard where he strives to hide his identity and become someone he can be proud of.
HOOKS:
Setting Sail: Are you a pirate, sailor, or otherwise have a reason to be on a ship? You just might find Solis stowing away amongst the cargo as he escapes his homeland in search of refuge An Eye for a Third Eye: Have a vendetta against Garleans? Get his ass Birds of a Feather: Are you Garlean or were/are you involved with them? Feel free to help Solis as he struggles with the realization of what his home really was, or give him some tough love so he can get back on his feet Ishgard: Should you happen to live in or visit Ishgard, you might see a young pink-haired man wearing a silver circlet across his brow and speaking in accented Eorzean. Solis can often be found conducting business in the markets, making connections, or taking an afternoon stroll with his beloved. OOC: Hello, I'm Dom, and this is a side blog for @captainqster . I'm located in the southwestern United States. I prefer long-term, multi-para rp, most likely on Discord for organizational purposes. I'm happy to meet up in game sometimes but I don't typically rp there. I enjoy dark content BUT I also enjoy wholesome things. Whether you're looking for enemies, friends, romance or other, I like all kinds of dynamics and stories. I'm also very open to OOC chat so feel free to hit me with a million questions and ideas. Message me here, I can provide my discord name for chat/planning!
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aaa-battery-not-rechargeable · 10 months ago
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What do you think gay men are attracted to in men that they can’t be attracted to in women?
It can’t be anything about femininity or masculinity obviously. That’s both sexist, and cultural so can’t be what drives men-only attraction.
It can’t be anything about stated identity because someone could lie just as easily as they could tell the truth in such a statement, and it makes no sense because homosexuality and heterosexuality exists in other species with no stated identities. It’s not like other animals without gender are all pan.
Saying idk it’s the vibes or some indescribable trait men have that women can’t but “I can’t explain” is a nonanswer.
Soooooooo what is it? Or do you think any sexuality but bi/pan is just cultural performance or an identity rather than an inborn orientation?
- [ ]
genuinely can't tell if this is a real question you're asking me (of all people) or some sort of rage fueled hate mail but I'll answer in good faith anyway:
people are who they say and show that they are, you might have to live with their answer (on questions abt identity) if it's not one you like. people can do what they want and all you can really control is yourself. also they don't have to explain their identity or attraction to you if they don't want to, it's as simple as minding your business and realizing that you don't have to know or understand everything about everyone else and how their attraction works.
it's not about the labels or definitions it's about the human person telling you how they experience something. it's more nuanced and individualized than what you're trying to make it seem
if a person is attracted to another person, then that is literally all it is. any other thing with their identity is up to that person to label or not label as they choose
Im not here to argue about the sexuality of any other fucking species because just like with other people, it is literally none of my fucking business ! i do not care ! they can do what they want ! and if they have the want/ability to label it, fucking go for it
(also dawg if you're comparing a human brain to the brain of like a lemur or some shit, you may be beyond help)
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bisexualseraphim · 1 year ago
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Do queer people who gatekeep sexualities and gender identities have nothing better to do like genuinely what is your problem. The whole point of the community is that gender and sexuality are more fuckity wuckity than man or woman, gay or straight and in almost 2024 we STILL have mfs going “nah that’s not a thing :/ you don’t belong in the community” unless they’re causing harm to others I seriously urge you to shut the fuck up. It is the easiest thing in the world to just say “hmm I don’t really understand that. But it’s their life and none of my business” and just move on with your life and let people live theirs. I do not give one iota of a fuck if someone identifies as a wolfgender they/them/bun/bunself AMAB transmasc who is only attracted to butches with curly hair and brown eyes IT DOES NOT AFFECT ME. I’m happy that they’ve found a way to express their identity that feels true to them and then I think about it no further. Like it takes active mental energy and emotion to get pressed over how someone expresses themselves and I don’t understand why you’d put yourself through that stress and then decide to be bitchy and make people feel like shit for being themselves. I’m seriously getting so tired of people in the community acting like it’s a fucking competition or you can only join if you meet X Y and Z criteria as if it’s some college mean girls sorority club. People are actively trying to take our rights away all the time and while this is happening we’re helping them by tearing our teeth into our own. Great
#I’ve just had enough of it exclusionists can fuck off I want nothing to do with you#You’re honestly no better than those LGB Without The T dickheads trying to kick people out for being ‘too weird’ or ‘not queer enough’#I’m always seeing people saying intersex people don’t belong or asexual people don’t belong. What the fuck is wrong with you#You think cishets just treat them normally once they explain who they are? I’d love to live in your world#Yeah they get treated totally fine in a world where ‘virgin’ is used as an insult and babies have forced genital surgery#[sarcasm]#Absolute dumbassery mental gymnastics Jesus Christ#You sound like edgy Conservatives with all the ‘X isn’t real it’s a new thing kids have made up’#That ‘weird’ gender or sexuality label you’ve just found out about? Has always been around#Always. You just have to look for it#And even if it is new WHO. FUCKING. CARES.#The last thing someone who’s just discovered themselves needs is more bigotry from the people who are meant to accept them#Unless they’re literally doing blackface or are an actual zoophile or some shit leave them the fuck alone they’re not hurting anyone#They’re not. I promise you being confused by something you don’t understand isn’t harm#Where’s that post about how discomfort and harm aren’t the same thing#Work on that shit.#Anyway I need to stop you all do my fucking head in#personal#vent#rant#queer discourse#queer politics#queer infighting#queerphobia#lgbtq#queer#trans#transphobia#acephobia#anti exclusionist
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groven4 · 2 years ago
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Markiplier Egos with an Aromantic DA / Viewer
a/n: I randomly decided I really wanna get something out for aro week, so I've got a oneshot mayhaps involving a certain adventurer in the works, but knowing me that might take a while (if I even finish it all) and these tend to be easier for me. So, that's why this exists...not that you asked.
(edit: made one for Ace hcs.)
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WILFORD WARFSTACHE
He wouldn't really care, but in like a supportive way.
He may not look like it, but the guy's got some common sense.
I can't see him as the type to ask a lot of questions especially if you're visibly uncomfortable around the topic. (tho ig he might if it's for an interview, not sure)
A big part of Wil's character is just accepting shit as it is and not questioning what you can't understand because falling down that spiral is ultimately unhealthy; so if you were to come out to him as any sexuality/gender identity, he'd most likely just accept you immediately and move one.
Expect to receive a lot of aro themed stickers on pride month though.
DARKIPLIER
Also doesn't care, but it's less him being supportive (tho he is) and more: it doesn't affect him, so why should he care?
Like you do you. Your love life is none of his business.
Quite frankly, he couldn't give a shit.
Though, he might find some relatability with you.
Despite how one might interpret ADWM, I cannot see Dark as an entity with the capability to feel much of anything. (other than rage, vengefulness, etc.)
There are some vague memories of past feelings from both Celine and Damien (and possibly the house entity, idk) mostly shown through his clear favoritism for Wil.
However, I don't think he really can feel romantic feelings, nor does he want to.
Being loved sounds nice, but ultimately it would just get in the way.
So having someone around that's kind of like him in that regard is almost nice...cathartic even.
You both like to watch 'marriage gameshows' (the bachelor, love is blind, etc.) over wine and laugh about how you'll never have to deal with relationship problems. (idc if that one's ooc)
GOOGLEPLIER
He can't really feel romantic attraction himself, yk being a robot and all.
If you tried explaining aromanticism to him he'd probably just be like: "Yeah, and??".
He's supportive in a sense, that sense being: you not having a partner would mean one less meat sack he has to deal with once he manages to get admin privileges.
BINGIPLIER
Kinda stumped on this one ngl.
I just can't find a reason why he'd care whatsoever.
He'd just be like: "Oh...siiiick, brah." with total Bill and Ted energy.
ACTOR
(edit: this is pre-wkm btw. idk why I did that, it doesn't really fit with the others that way. so I probably won't do it again in future hcs. sorry ig.)
I imagine it comes up at a party.
He starts asking you about your love life.
You tell him that you've never really been interested in that kind of stuff, and you probably never will.
What does he do?
...
He calls you boring.
...
AND THEN JUST FUCKIN' WALKS AWAY- like- ????
In all seriousness, he's mostly chill about it throughout your friendship, but it's hard for me not to picture him as the type to think you're just being naive and that 'everyone has to find someone someday'. (I believe WKM takes place in the 1920s, so like, what were you expecting?)
That is until Celine cheats on him.
It was just such a world shattering thing for him, he genuinely loved her more than anything.
It's not a complete 180°, he doesn't suddenly understand your lack of attraction from this, but one night you check in with him to find him wasted in his wine cellar and he's basically like: "You had it right all along, my friend. Love...Love is not for everyone. ...Certainly not the faint of heart."
Which like, you didn't choose this, but you were more focused on making sure he was okay at the time to care.
YANCY
A part of me wants to think he'd be a little confused at first just cause the idea of having to explain aromanticism and/or asexuality to him because he's just genuinely curious is really adorable to me.
However, the rest of me refuses to believe his friend group isn't entirely comprised of both people in the lgbtq+ community and hardcore allies who would happily beat the shit out of aphobes on a daily basis.
Not to say that they think of you as child-like because of your sexuality, but it's a prison family and you're 'fresh meat' so you're their little aro-bean now whether you like it or not.
Yancy especially is protective of you in an almost older brother type way.
So if after/during coming out to them (or just him) you mention how scared you were/are because you've had a lot of bad experiences or something, he's like constantly ready to sucker punch and/or ballerina kick anyone giving you flack over just being who you are.
He's always willing to tell you how valid you are when you need to hear it, and overall is just a really great friend.
...Even with the stabbing.
ILLINOIS
In an odd way, he almost feels...relieved?
Call it a humble brag, but literally all of his past work partners had fallen in love with him at some point, and while the attention certainly feeds his ego, that kinda thing just gets tired and even annoying after a while.
So knowing that'll never happen with you is actually a nice break from what he's grown so used to.
He's never had someone around who genuinely enjoys adventuring as much as he does.
And who isn't like constantly ogling him. (I mean probably anyway, idk what it's like to be aroallo)
Having you around may also cause him to start questioning some things about himself, particularly when you're explaining your orientation.
But that's a topic we'll be getting into at another time! (*wink* *wink* *nudge* *nudge* *stares at empty draft*)
He's still used to trying to fluster people cause he finds it funny and in general is just the kind of person to be a bit touchy with his friends (meaning: platonic hand holding, hugs, head/back pats, standing weirdly close a lot of the time just naturally, etc.), so if you're ever uncomfortable just tell him and he'll cut it out straight away.
You're both just kinda really good friends, and he's not at all weird about it like you thought he might be.
CAPTAIN MAGNUM
Supportive Pirate Dad! 10/10!
You definitely have to explain what it means to him, but he verbally accepted you before he even asked.
Kinda like: "That's great!...What is it?-"
Would have the crew sew you a flag if it would make you happy.
They are still pirates who have been sailing across the deep blue their whole lives with presumably no contact with the mainland however.
So unless you for some fuckin reason told them what it looks like, you can expect to receive a relatively small, plain black flag with the word 'Arrowmantik.' spelled incorrectly and somehow sewn on in perfect white Helvetica.
...
You hung the flag right above your hammock.
It is your most prized possession.
HEAD ENGINEER
Might be a little discouraged at first. His crush on you was a tad obvious.
But he figures it's for the best. You are the captain after all. Pursuing that relationship wouldn't have been professional in the slightest.
It does take a bit but he gets over it eventually.
He still genuinely loves you platonically/as a person, so things don't really change all that much.
You still have a strong friendship and work really well together.
He tends to go a bit overboard now about giving you personal space cause he doesn't want to make you uncomfortable. So you may have to reassure him multiple times if it wasn't an issue.
During when pride month would be on earth he might gift you little aro themed stuff, like a patch you can't actually add to your uniform for work reasons but love and appreciate anyway.
He may not fully understand how you feel, but he never stops trying to, and either way he's always gonna support you no matter what.
Your orientation could never change how much he loves and trusts you both as a captain and as his friend.
MURDOCK
He doesn't really care since it doesn't affect what you guys do, though he is openly accepting, especially if it seemed like you needed to hear that it wasn't something that bothered him.
In a similar vein to Illinois, he's strangely grateful.
He's not sure how he would've dealt with the situation had you developed a crush on him. Such emotions tend to get in the way more often than not in his line of work.
He didn't wanna have to kill you just to make his life easier. Taking a life out of necessity isn't as much fun, plus he'd grown a tad fond of you.
I like to think he cares quite a bit about your mental health, it would make sense given the whole murder thing.
So if you often go through periods of doubt or even internalized self hatred regarding being aromantic, he's gonna be there to help you through it.
He goes with you to pride parades and if anyone tries to tell you that you don't belong there, they're immediately getting put on a black list.
He got you a nifty little keychain once while you were there.
Overall, surprisingly wholesome.
a/n: I went back and forth on whether or not I was gonna use the pronouns I hc them all as using, but in the end I just said 'fuck it, appeal to general audiences, why not at this point'. I'm really fuckin' tired, dude. Just- HAPPY ARO WEEK! ig.
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svnflowermoon · 10 months ago
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Is it stupid that I can't come out to my gay friends?
Like I'm nonbinary and aroace, but they don't know that, and I'm scared of them knowing. It's not even like they think I'm straight
hi anon!
i'm currently on a tumblr break but i saw this and just had to answer this.
it is not stupid at all. please never feel like your feelings are invalid or dumb. coming out is not a requirement and there is no set timeframe, you should come out when you feel comfortable and only then. it's completely fair enough to be scared, no matter who it is you're coming out to. fear is a completely normal feeling in this situation and it is entirely valid. feeling scared to come out to your gay friends is not stupid because coming out is a big thing, no matter who you're coming out to, you're putting your identity into words and trusting someone with it.
i, personally, am only specifically out to like two people irl. one of those people is my mum. a lot of my friends are queer and they know that i am also queer but i just have never specifically addressed the situation because i don't feel the need to. i figured out that i was a lesbian when i was about 14 (i'm almost 17 now) and i told no one for about half a year. i was terrified. i hinted things to my mum and tried to figure out how accepting she would be by mentioning books like heartstopper (she ended up reading every single book so little mum appreciation here i love her). i told her maybe 6 months after i'd figured out myself. i have specifically told one of my friends and that is it. (i haven't mentioned anything about gender related stuff to anyone irl and i honestly don't really feel the need to because i'm not even really sure myself)
i felt a lot of guilt for not telling some of them and my dad and brother for the longest time before realising that it quite literally is none of their business. i'll tell the rest of my family when i'm ready but i doubt i'll ever put a specific label on my sexuality for my friends.
what i'm getting at is that i feel safe around my friends and i know they're accepting. i could easily come out in my situation but i'm not sure if i'm mentally ready for that and i also just don't want to make it a big deal. your identity is your own and it is not required that you tell anyone.
you sound like you want to come out to your friends, and you absolutely should if you feel comfortable. but don't rush it. you do not owe anyone anything within any time frame other than your own. let it happen when you feel ready, as long as you feel safe around them everything will turn out fine in the end <33
remember that you are loved and your feelings are valid my love <3
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asspinkie · 8 months ago
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Tav Character Worksheet
thank you for the tag @hybernating-bear <333
i'm doing my dark urge because she is my favorite! and also because i don't have a tav yet who has a developed enough background to share. i don't have a ton of photos bc i am lazy by nature but this is her:
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Name: Finwe (because I am a fringe Tolkien fan and it sounded cool)
Sexuality: Bisexual
Pronouns: She/her
O T H E R
Family: She's a Bhaalspawn so her biological family is Orin the deranged as fuck and Bhaal. Not a great lineup, but she has strong familial companionship with her travelling companions.
Birthplace: Created by Bhaal!
Job: Pregame - murdering the innocent citizens of Baldur's Gate. During game - amnesiac ranger that's gonna save that stupid fucking city if it kills her.
Phobia: spiders. god, why are there so many of them in the underdark.
Guilty Pleasure: Uhm. Thinking about Raphael probably. But also, since leaving the Cult of Bhaal and forging her own identity, she's been trying out a lot of mundane things. Her favorites (which make her feel instinctually guilty because they're not murdery) are 1. saying out of pocket things to the other patrons of the rowdy mermaid to try to get astarion to laugh. he does not. and 2. eating so many baked goods
Hobbies: Doing something hilarious at every opportunity to piss off astarion. She's also trying to learn to play the lute but none of the criticism has been,,, constructive so far.
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(sorry if the image quality is terrible! i am not tech smart)
M O R A L S
Alignment: Chaotic good I think? I spent the game picking the funniest (most likely to get her into fights) dialogue options and helping people. Shithead energy for real.
Sins: Death is a necessity and Finwe isn't afraid to be its arbiter if it accomplishes her goals. She takes things too personally and acts impulsively, but is often too stubborn to admit when she's wrong. She can also be on the manipulative side if it serves her purposes.
Virtues: She'll help anyone who asks (if their morals align with hers). She's also fiercely protective of her friends and will go to bat for them if they're threatened in any way.
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(^the weed in baldur's gate just hits different apparently) (i just can't take good screenshots)
THIS OR THAT
Introverted / Extroverted
Organized / Disorganized (she spends hours on camp inventory with lae'zel. clipboard and everything)
Close Minded / Open Minded
Calm / Anxious / Restless
Disagreeable / Agreeable / In between
Patient / Impatient / In between
Outspoken / Reserved / In between
Leader / Follower / Flexible (she can and will drag everyone into danger. the only time she steps aside is when its their business - she won't make personal choices for anyone she cares about).
Empathetic / Unempathetic / In between
Optimist / Pessimist / Realist (has a lot of stupid hope that somehow pays off every time?)
Traditional / Modern / In between (this means gender roles i think?? the first person she encountered with amnesia was lae'zel. women are god to her.)
Hardworking / Lazy / In between (often accidentally hard-working because she doesn't ever think long enough to strategize and thus ends up doing everything the hard way)
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R E L A T I O N S H I P S
OTP: Astarion, but she's also involved with Halsin.
Other ships: She is a little bit in love with everyone (someone new, Hozier vibes), but if she had to pair with someone else it would be Lae'zel.
Brotp: Her best friend, ride or die, is Lae'zel. they will fuck you up together.
Notp: She's not the best of friends with Gale or Shadowheart. Because she definitely led them both on and is incredibly evasive by nature, so things are a bit awkward now. She also absolutely hates mizora.
thanks again for the tag!! i had a lot of fun with this. i don't really tag, so if you want to do this, feel free!
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autisticlee · 1 year ago
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the whole "you shouldn't identify as X, don't form an identity when you can't/don't know yet, you're too young, what if/you might change your mind!" etc etc. it's so silly when you think about it. what's wrong with changing your mind anyway? why did we all decide that gender/sexuality identity has to be static and can never change? why did we decide that it's a bad thing to change? because the old generation tells us change is bad? because they (mostly conservatives) want to conserve "the good old days/the way things are supposed to be" in their minds???
WHO CARES if someone says they're gay then realizes 5 years later they're bi. WHO CARES if someone says they're a girl and realizes after trying it out they're not. let people explore who they are until they figure it out even if they go through every lable available to them! maybe none fit and they make up their own! who cares! who cares if they change it every year for the rest of their lives! humans change. that's the only constant about us! why is it a bad thing, even taboo, to accept change and exploration within sexuality and gender specifically?
there's always so much shame that comes with someone realizing they were wrong, changing as a person, or discovering something new about themselves. i've seen people afraid to explore themselves more or afraid to talk about a change in identity, for fear of the queer community pushing back on them the same way they're afraid to come out to the cishets in their life who are trans/homophobic. that's just not fair that their own community can become hostile towards them, too. being in a closet within a bigger closet essentially. everyone is always told to figure it all out first before claiming an identity, because then you're locked in it for life, apparently. you can't change your mind after that. why though? what's the point of that really? why can't we embrace fluidity a bit more? why can't we accept that humans do change all the time? why is making and trying to prove that these identities are static/unchanging/innate the only way to validate them? why can't they just, I don't know, BE VALID. without reason. why must we jump through hoops to be valid when we should just automatically be valid because we are human. stop letting the cishets gatekeep everything, leading to us gatekeeping each other!
I am sometimes very hesitant to talk about my own identity. I identified as a gay/biromantic trans guy for like idk 8-10 years? transitioned and everything. then like a year or two ago, I realized/decided that doesn't fit right anymore. now i'm a nonbinary, but also kinda fluid, aroace person. sometimes I don't like to talk about that because of the stigma behind changing your gender/sexuality identities. but you know what. i'll talk about it anyway and people have to learn to accept it.
what were the consequences and bad parts about changing my mind/identity like that? none. absolutely none. (outside of people being weird about it for no reason) but the benefits are feeling more comfortable with myself, and that's no one else's business.
#lee rambles#lgbt#lgbtqia#what tag do people usually use. idk#sexuality#nonbinary#transgender#gender#i know some things you cant “change” like if you transition. reversing some parts might be hard. but who cares#change what you want. change back a 3rd time if you want. we should let people do what they want in a safe way.#we arent going to talk about and debate children and their ability to “choose” im not opening those worms. thats for another discussion#but i will say them simply using words to describe themselves (identity) and changing it later DOES ABSOLUTELY NO HARM. LET THEM DO IT.#we are not talking about physically changing things so dont argue that. only words. words dont harm ans are allowed to change.#but people gatekeep adults from words as well so its not “about the children” its people in general.#everyone wants to gatekeep everyone from gender/sexuality so much for some reason#but this isnt about “the children!” so lets not talk about them#if anyone tries to argue children i will instablock. you have no permissiom#anyway. i feel like this entire post is a whole unpopular opinion. it'll probably make someone mad or cause misunderstanding#because words are hard and explaining my thoughts is hard. but youre not allowed to argue with me. im tired and dont want to deal with it#thats my boundary and im setting it up. no arguing. im not asking for debate or opnions. im simply rambling to myself snd anyone who#might not have thought about this before? idk. not sure who im rambling to or why i even added specific tags lmao#im tired and sleep deprived where am i going with this.......
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runthepockets · 1 year ago
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I don't think it's immoral to speculate over the sexualities and gender identities of strangers (dead or alive) but I do think it's kind of pointless. Unless someone tells me explicitly they've got some shit going on it's none of my business. There's also plenty of living and openly gay and trans people to idolize and uplift in the meantime.
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