#someone to love you unconditionally
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pls more touya soulmate au!! your tags have me dying, itās just all so tragic š„¹š„¹
isn't it !!!
and what if ā it's not you that's hesitant. it's him.
(tw: domestic abuseānot from touyaāand suicidal ideation ?? idk how this happened, i'm sorry LOL)
i picture you as ā the child of some socialite. your mother's family has always been wealthy, been involved in ā let's say ā designing hero costumes. haute hero fashion, or something. your mother hosts a lot of events and parties you're expected to attend and your family is well known. elites.
you're engaged to a man everyone thinks is your soulmate ā but you know he's not. not because he's only with you for your money or because he hits you, but you feel nothing for him. not even a smidgen. pity, maybe, if you had to assign a label to it. there are no sparks or butterflies in your stomach, not like there used to be; now the only drop of your gut is from his fist.
it's only because of such violence that dabi even approaches you. initially because he plans to smite your little fiancƩ to nothing, but the strike across your cheek is over and done with before he's able to get out of the shadows, cast with a quickness that only shows your fiancƩ's knack for being discrete. you're left shivering and bruised on the balcony of some fancy hotel, looking out over the skyline as the party continues without a hitch behind the french doors.
"should ice that." he rasps, still hidden, though it doesn't seem to matter; you don't even spare him a glance. "will bring down the swelling."
you hum, leaning far over the edge as your hair blows in the wind. "they won't notice," he's heard your voice, sure, but it's never been spoken to him and he hates the grip it gains on his chest. "and if they do, then they won't care."
"sounds pretty fucked to me."
at that, you laugh, slipping out of your designer heels and bunching up your designer dress so that you can climb up onto the ledge, wavering as you hold your arms out. the sight makes him sick, draws him out of the shadows with his hands into fists, sweat beginning on the back of his neck.
dabi comes to stand right behind you and ā you look like some kind of angel, wrapped in the golden city lights from far below. saliva pools in his mouth because he could gag; at himself, at the worry pooling in his stomach. even a dark thought crosses his mind, one that confirms everything he's been trying to deny: would be my soulmate that killed themselves right in front of me.
"get the fuck down."
you shrug, which is awful, and you still haven't looked at him so he doesn't even know if this shit is real. maybe he's having some kind of allergic reaction or his heart is giving out finally or something. no way to tell for sure until he sees your face, until he sees whatever crosses it.
whatever you murmur gets lost in the whipping wind ā but he thinks it sounds like nobody would even notice.
he grabs you so fast, arms fitting around the curve of your waist like they were made to. you're spun around to face him and he nearly loses it, wide-eyed as he watches you watch him. sure, he's seen you a dozen and a half times by now, but not this close, never this close.
the grip you have on his shoulder tightens, but he doesn't think you realize it, and the way you're cataloging him, learning him; how bad are his burns today? some days they're more swollen than others. some days they are still too fresh and his skin is peeling a little bit. some days he hasn't fully burned through and he's left with these ugly fucking scabs andā
"hello," you say quietly, smile growing, eyes soft. "there you are."
and he lets go at once, because now that this is in front of him, he realizes how much he doesn't want it. can't have it anyway, not in this life.
todoroki touya would've been your soulmate, sure. you, with your money and your social status and prominent family name. universe got that part right when you were made, when your future was being planned.
you seem unbothered by him, though, steadying yourself as your breath hitches. "didn't think you existed out there."
"i don't," he grunts, stretching out his hands to feel the pull of his skin. it hurts and it grounds him, keeps him from stopping his retreat.
too bad touya died a long time ago.
#you see him all deep fried and don't even care !!#bc he's real !!!#and he's bound to love you right ? he has to give somewhat of a shit about you right ?#little does he know you want him for the same reasons he wants you:#someone to love you unconditionally#without a choice#SAD !!#touya drabble#dabi drabble#āæ willow writes#āæ ask willow#āæ thoughts: dabi/touya
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I just *clenches fist* love how the narrative Aaravos feeds Claudia is so specifically and elegantly slanted like
Aaravos was/is the only one there for you
Aaravos believed/believes in your potential (so live up to it)
Aaravos gave you magic specifically to fulfill that potential
Magicādark magicāis what separates humans from "worthless, stupid, dirty animals"
Like it is honestly astounding that Claudia is willing to even consider giving up dark magic in s6, given that dark magic makes up basically 90% of her own perceived self-worth:
God bless Terry tbh because him loving her independently of dark magic is probably the only thing keeping the door open to save her.
#anyway something something claudia has to leave terry and come back#so she has a model of unconditionally loving someone who left you and welcoming them back when they return#so she can reconcile with soren in how they left each other#both let herself welcome him back and allow herself to be welcomed#claudia#aaravos#dark magic#kradogsmeta
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seeing lewis at mercedes recently is heartbreaking for so many reasons because what do you mean he loves this team unconditionally, has the biggest smile on his face around the team members, posts gutwrenching instagram stories saying goodbye and explaining how much he'll miss the team and mourning their time together, takes them bowling every time they're in japan, does silly bonding activities with them, calls them his home and his family, wanted to retire with them and then stay forever as an ambassador and in return he gets nothing but emptiness, twisted set-ups, tyres that aren't at the right temperature, experiments, casual disrespect, a horrible car, a hot seat, no real information on the radio, bad strategies, empty platitudes and sniping words from toto that show just how little the 6 wdcs and 8 wccs and the 12 years mean to them. and still he says they were his family and he loves them and will always treasure their time together and it breaks my heart
#there's just something so gutwrenching about leaving your family#especially when you know you're going to miss them more than they'll miss you#that you love them unconditionally and will always love them but you also resent them for how they treat you#and all you can do is leave and watch as someone else takes your place and gets the love you used to have but aren't shown anymore#it's heartbreaking#lewis hamilton#mercedes
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he makes her feel selfless and she makes him feel selfish
attempt at a meta or rather more incoherent gushing about these two
I love the contrast of the above scene, how Vash is joyous, all-smiling. While Meryl is wrecked, in tears. Most often, it seems thatās how they also remember each other.
Meryl likes to remember Vash happy and at peace. Vash remembers Meryl while sheās solemn and also a bit vulnerable. In a way, they inspire emotion in each other thatās hard for them to express. Vash has had a lot of sadness in his life, but while he will always wear a smile, I think he finds it harder to let himself be genuinely happy than to cry. Meanwhile, Meryl hates to cry. She hates to let down her guard and appear as if she canāt take care of herself, but with Vash, she really canāt help herself.
I ship WildeHopps (another goofy tall character hiding sadness with a smirk and a straight-laced, determined shorty. even their eyecolors are the same!) and I remember that there was a thing in the fandom about foxes that they canāt help but shout when they see their mate, and I donāt know how accurate the translations are, but even when they reunite again, Vash canāt help but shout out āMeryl!ā in happiness (seriously despite how surprised he was, he couldāt help his smile. and he only called out meryl despite milly also being there, like rude, vash, if milly wasnāt such a sweetheart and loved you both to bits, but anyway, I digressā¦)
I really loved the fistbump (*cough indirect kiss cough*) scene so much because in asmuch as it was Vash comforting Meryl, it was also about him taking comfort in Meryl, which when we remember from his waterworks when Marlon called him out on it, he previously found really hard to do.
On Merylās side, we actually see that she has the same values as Vash. I love the Little Arcadia chapter/episode so much for this reason. Grandpaās speech to Meryl about following your own path and your connection to your parents, resonated with her, but we as the readers also know that itās something that would have also resonated with Vash. She wanted to resolve the conflict without anyone losing their life, and at first couldnāt understand why something like land would be more important than life. But push comes to shove, when she sees the resolve of someone to protect something, she puts her life on the line anyway. We even see traces of it in the anime with how she also shoots non-lethal shots, and that one time when she saved Vash, she shot the light to fall on the person instead of shooting the person. That sort of pacifism is present in her and Milly although they may not be as obvious about it as Vash, which is why despite himself, Vash finds himself growing closer to the girls and considering them as among his most important people despite the fact that he knew them only recently compared to the people from Home and Marlon. Even Millyās principles regarding family bonds would also be something that would resonate with Vash, and itās important that he was there in the shadows because I think that was the turning point in how he started to consider them his friends. So in a lot of ways, despite Meryl not wanting him to, I think Vash truly sees the vulnerability that she tries to hide. And I find it so believable and endearing that he would be drawn to her because of that similarity and connection between them.
they both inspire hope in each other
When I say that Vash inspires Meryl to be selfless, itās in the way she will risk everything just so she can be there for Vash, to overcome fear and her own human limitations, just so she can hold him close. Vash (and through his connections with others like Luida) inspires in Meryl hope for a better world. At the same time, I always got the feeling that the type of love that Meryl felt was something she would be content to keep on giving to this person who always kept on giving to others, even when there was a chance that she would never get it back or have it returned. I imagine that she would have been fine with that as long as Vash felt that he was unconditionally loved.
When I say, Meryl makes Vash feel selfish, it is within the context that selfish for Vash is already a normal level or base desire of wanting to be happy in other people. I remember Legatoās observation of Vash, that he considered himself as having utterly no value in this world. Of course a person like that would be fine with dying!
But this person who considers himself worthless, eventually makes a promise like this.
Vash must know that thereās a high likelihood heāll die. Someone as self-sacrificial as him wouldnāt want anyone, much less a person he cares deeply for, to be hurt by him. And yet he makes this āselfishā request of Meryl anyways. And it matters so, so much that he does. Because it shows that he can consider himself as someone who can make another person happy. Itās a promise to her, as well as to himself, that he wonāt let himself simply die. He wouldnāt anyway because of how much he values Rem, but with this promise, it feels like his wanting to live is finally something he wants to do for himself, and not just as a continuation of Remās memory. Like with the fistbump scene, this promise was as much for him as for Meryl. I know he still would have fought to live and to protect humans, but at the same time, in the wake of Wolfwoodās death, I also felt that he would have been at peace should he have died trying. So this promise was to tether himself (to her). Itās something to keep him fighting to live now that he knows thereās someone out there waiting for him, by his own actions at that. More than that or simply put, itās just a simple thing of allowing himself to want something or someone.
And this is how Meryl inspires hope in him. All this time heās loved humans, but it always felt like he was living beside them and not with them. He doesnāt know what it is with Meryl, maybe her sheer stubbornness, but somehow she ends up representing that hope, that possibility of finally living together with humans (with her). In contrast to Merylās hope, itās a very simple and humane one. To have someone care for him, to have someone wait for him, to have someone to come home to, to have someone who loves him. And itās funny that it seems that Meryl expects nothing in return for her overwhelming love for Vash, because Vash actually meets her halfway. Heās the one to initiate the kiss. Heās the one to make the promise and have her promise. Finally, heās taking the chance of his happiness into his own hands and doing something about it. I just, I really canāt with them. No wonder I ended up being vashmeryl trash.
#vashmeryl#trigun#trimax#trigun maximum#vash the stampede#meryl stryfe#have this messy attempt at a#trigun meta#ships#I really cannot with them#itās all about the self-loathing and the self-worth#and having someone see you and be seen#who says you have to love yourself first before you can love someone?#itās also possible that being unconditionally loved allows you to finally love yourself#itās the subtlety#listen the best ships#the ships you end up thinking about at 3am in the morning#are those ships who donāt even kiss#who say I love you without saying I love you#think#fullmetal alchemist#āI canāt lose you too.ā#āGive me half of yours and Iāll give you half of mine!ā#nightrow knew what he was doing when he did that indirect kiss#āwait for meā#this is long but thatās only because I have a lot of feelings about them
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Ok I'm obsessed with Gale x Illithid Tav today BUT there's something just so beautiful about how Gale will still (enthusiastically) love Tav even if they become illithid, like there's not an ounce of uncertainty, his love is so unconditional.
Which really says a lot because you know for a fact that if anything else were to happen to Tav (i.e. disfigurement or disability) it still doesn't change how he feels AT ALL and will still do anything in his power to show Tav just how much he loves them
#its been making me kinda emotional#like ive changed alot physically since meeting my partner#and hes been so loving and caring just as he was at the start#even when ive been feeling insecure about it#so gale x Illithid tav has me thinking about it constantly#and how representative it is of that kinda scenario#those changes can make us feel so shit about ourselves but when you have someone who loves you so unconditionally it really helps#bg3#baldurs gate 3#bg3 gale#gale dekarios#gale of waterdeep#gale x tav
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love you, unconditionally (part 1)
synopsis best friends jake and sunghoon comfort reader who can't get over her ex. sunghoon is in love with the reader. pt.2
'hey guys, you busy? can you both come over?' that one text was all it took for jaeyun and sunghoon to rush to your apartment with all the comfort they had in the world, to offer it to you. they were your best friends ever since you knew life. they sensed you weren't okay. and you weren't the one to ask help for little struggles. they were your moral support and the only people you trusted with all your heart. they cried with you in your sorrow, they laughed with you in your joy, they fought your difficulties like it were their own nemesis. and you did the same to them. it's said to be two peas in a pod, but you three have managed to accommodate another one.
"y/n?" jaeyun knocked your door softly, his tone laced with concern as him and sunghoon waited patiently for you to open the door.
there were tears dripping down your chin and your eyes red with all the sobbing. you frantically wiped your tears, not wanting to worry your friends much, even thought it would be obvious by just looking at your face that you have been crying for a long time. you dragged yourself to the main door of your little apartment, and paused.
now all of sudden you didn't feel like facing them. you felt pathetic for crying over a guy that left you long ago, that you left long ago, both on good terms. just this one fact that your heart never stopped loving him despite everything that he did wrong to you (which you would never point out), despite being warned and despite being hurt more than once.
well now that you've called them here, you had to face them. so you opened the door and found both of them panting lightly, faces filled with absolute worry.
you looked them in the eye, and suddenly you felt thankful for having them, all the emotions came rushing through your veins once again as tears started brimming in your eyes. your lips turned into a pout and you started crying badly again.
jaeyun sighed with concern and held you by the shoulders and brought you inside, as sunghoon closed the door. jaeyun bent a little to look at your face and seeing you cry hurt him so bad. he was an emotional guy, he couldn't handle to see his best friend cry like that, so he wrapped his arms around your figure, dropping his head to the crook of your neck as he engulfed you into the warmest hug ever. sunghoon wrapped his arm around jaeyun's shoulders as he patted your head in order to give you comfort.
after a little bit of crying, three of you gathered on the couch, both of them sitting on your either side, all ready to listen to you rant.
you didn't say a word. you didn't know what to say. being honest even you questioned yourself. why does it hurt this much? why were you crying now? why can't you move on? why were you not ready to let anyone else love you?
sunghoon cleared his throat and proceeded to start a conversation.
"we know the reason you're crying right now. but why did it trigger you all of sudden, y/n?" his tone was sweet, like it was made of honey. he spoke very carefully knowing you were fully sensitive right now and every word could they said could effect you.
"i don't know hoon. i don't know what triggered me but... this feeling i have for him. i don't how to erase it. i'm not even ready to let him go, even if everything is in my head. it's like i'm gonna leave a piece of me with him, a very precious part of me." your voice started wavering, and a lump formed in your throat once again.
jaeyun grabbed your hand and intertwined his fingers with yours, with his other hand on top of yours. and you continued to speak, inhaling sharply.
"i don't think i can ever love somebody like i love him, even if he doesn't love me back, even if he has hurt me. i can never say anything to him and i just cannot bring myself to blame him. my love for him, it's unconditional. even now, if he came back to me after all this time, i would still run into his arms like nothing ever happened."
jaeyun sighed, "y/n that's not-"
"i know. i know that's not how it's supposed to be. i know i have to let him go, i need to move on. i know i would find somebody who would treat me better than him. rationally, i understand all these things. but it's quite difficult to push my heart out of this mess. i have tried so many different ways, i just can't. i don't think loving someone like i love him will be possible to anyone else. i would literally do anything for him."
sunghoon didn't know what to say, because he understood every word you said. he related to each and every word. he loved you unconditionally too, he was not ready to let you go too, he would literally do anything for you too. he didn't know the solution, just as you didn't. it hurt him to see you speak of another man like this, but there was nothing he could do, because he knew what exactly you felt.
he sensed you might start crying again, because you cried every time you had to speak your heavy heart out like this.
"i'll go get something for you to eat, we just rushed here so we didn't have time to grab something on the way." sunghoon spoke as he got up and walked to your front door, carefully shutting it close behind him.
jaeyun was not having this. he couldn't see both of his best friends hurt like this, not when there was a way.
"y/n. it's been what? 7 months since you broke up with your ex. you have to move on because we know for a fact that he isn't coming back. and we know for a fact that he can never give you back the love that you gave him all this time. see you have to get yourself together and do it yourself. nobody can get into your head and change things for you. even if you have to force yourself, you have to forget him, it's for the good. only you, can change these depressing days you have, these uncertain emotions that you feel. only you can help yourself."
you nodded as you listened to him. he was right.
"how long will you continue to be like this? all this time, you've never put yourself and your well being first. now it's high time you do that. because again, in the end only you can make yourself happy. and uhh i don't know if this is the right piece of advice but, give sunghoon a chance."
you raised your brow at him. what the hell was he saying?
"sunghoon likes you. you know it too. like hell he loves you. do you know why he doesn't get jealous or angry when you talk about your ex in front of him? because he knows. he knows how it is like to love someone when they don't love you back the same way. he knows how it is like to love someone unconditionally. he's trying to accept the truth that you won't even love him back the same. he's wrong. if you think the same, then you're wrong too. you're just not giving yourself a chance. and that asshole is just suppressing his feelings without even trying."
everything he said was right. you were not willing to let your ex go. you were not willing to give yourself a chance. you unknowingly let yourself get stuck in time, where nothing was going good for you. you realised what jaeyun meant when he said 'it is only you who can repair yourself.'
you knew sunghoon liked you. but you didn't know it was this bad. he never showed it to you of course. but listening to what jaeyun had to say, you have to reconsider your thoughts. you had to let him go. you had to move forward, you had to put yourself first.
just then a door click sound was heard, as sunghoon walked in with lots of food and drinks in his hands. he smiled at you both as he proudly walked in, kicking the door close with his foot. jaeyun being the excited pup he is, realized it was time to flip the mood over and rushed to check the food out.
"there is no way you brought us THIS much ramyeon, hoon." jaeyun gasped dramatically, not even trying to hide his happiness at the amount of food. he rushed to the kitchen bringing out the ramyeon pot as he started boiling the water.
sunghoon walked to you with a little smile, as he noticed you seemed a little better than when they walked in through that door of your apartment.
"you feeling better?" he asked as he wrapped an arm around your shoulder, looking down at you oh so lovingly.
it hurt him a lot, seeing you like this. he knows he can treat you better than anyone else on this planet. he knows what you deserve. you deserve the world and he's so ready to place in the palm of your hand. but it were your feelings that mattered. no matter what he does, there is no point if you didn't love him back the same way.
he's had sleepless nights and restless days because of this fact. but before he loved you, he was your best friend. he would always be there for you, even if it meant he had to erase the love he had for you.
you nodded as you looked up at him with your lips curving into a smile. he gently pulled you into a hug as you wrapped your arms around his waist, burying your head into his chest.
sunghoon couldn't hold back at the sight of you finding comfort in him, and left a warm little kiss on the top of your head, ruffling your hair as he pulled away from the hug.
he smiled at you again as he held your hand, dragging you to the kitched to join jaeyun, as they proceeded to make your day better.
maybe, just maybe, giving sunghoon a chance was not a bad idea.
#enhypen#sunghoon#sunghoon scenarios#sunghoon imagines#jake enhypen#jake sim#sim jaeyun#enha imagines#enha scenarios#enhypen fluff#angst#this is to every person out there who's willing to and able to love someone eternally and unconditionally#there is nobody like you and i'm proud of you#the fact that you're able to give them that love is what matters the most#nothing else does <3
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hot take moment cwilbur is literally just psychotic as all hell and i think people got way too comfortable villianizing the shit out of a man who was clearly portraying signs of severe mental illness. cwilbur was like im so fucking paranoid and scared and i think everyone is out to get me and hurt me and ive spiralled to the point i cant reach out to the people closest to me because im so afraid and lost in this spiral and im having constant panic attacks and hurting myself because i dong know what to do with myself and the only way out for me is to die. and everybody was like EVIL MAN WHO ENJOYS HURTING OTHERS AND IS ABUSIVE ON PURPOSE AND A VILLAIN AND SHOULD NEVER BE TRUSTED AGAIN. and then he came back and was like im still deeply troubled and afraid but im desperately trying to make up for the wrongs i did in the past and the people i hurt in my own way and communication is really hard for me but i hope people know that im truely sorry and i love them. im going to try my hardest to fix this in the only way i know how and then respectfully remove myself from the situation because i feel thats the kindest thing i can do to the people ive hurt. and people were like ABUSER ABUSER ABUSER EVIL MAN ABUSER. like girl
Yeah no based true real no questions asked
I'd hope I manage to portray Wilbur the way he deserves in my content, cause that man is heavily bpd coded and he just needs therapy and someone who genuinely loves him but also can handle his bullshit (which has exclusively and reliably been Quackity like, canonically)
But yeah no completely agreed. The man has issues and has definitely fucked up a lot but at the end of the day he really does need love and care and patience, but also boundaries (and therapy and meds, obviously)
#i deeeefinitely have no reason to have strong feelings about bpd bitches deserving love and care and stability ha ha nooo it's definitely-#-not like I've been dating one for well over 4 years now and even though we've been through so much shit together and I still can't-#-understand why people with bpd and conditions that have similar symptoms are so demonised. It just makes no sense to me.#my bf is the love of my life and i can't imagine /not/ supporting it through all the splitting and episodes and all of that cause they're-#-absolutely worth everything#i don't know not to be too gay on main but tbf it's too late now anyway i think--#is it unstable? sure. but it's also the most caring and loving person i've ever been close with and it always makes sure i'm ok#and it loves me so undeniably deeply no matter what purely for who i am#i've never had anyone care about me this much and this genuinely and this unconditionally - it'd always be what /they/ can get out of /me/#but my boyfriend just cares about me - the actual me - no matter if i'm acting how it imagined i'd act. what matters is if i'm /me/#listen bpd isn't sunshine and rainbows - we've been through some TERRIBLE shit (including s-cide attempts)#but when people claim it makes a relationship toxic/abusive it's so stupid cause ultimately with mutual love support and reassurance-#-and professional help you can have a genuinely happy and healthy life with someone with bpd#love isn't mean to be easy. it's meant to be safe and supportive and genuine but a relationship always takes effort and work on both sides#you should never sacrifice your well being of course!#but when love takes effort and extra care it doesn't inherently mean it's unhealthy or toxic or abusive. it just means you're people.#tldr if you love someone then don't care about some diagnosis - care about the actual perso.#ask#asks#ask fern#tntduo#dsmp#tnt duo#wilbur soot#quackity#quackbur#dream smp#tntblr#c!quackbur#c!tntduo
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just having a normal one thinking about how badly Armand wants to be loved but every time he gets close to it, he self sabotages and ruins it. almost as if. he subconsciously doesn't think he deserves it.
#I'm fine I'm good I'm so normal about him#he does it with EVERY romantic relationship we see him have it's insane#first with lestat and their whole Thing. especially the nicki stuff we haven't seen yet.#then louis. like he lets himself have it and then realizes it's possible for it to work and IMMEDIATELY blows it#by you know. trying to kill him. actually succeeding in killing his daughter.#making sure there's no possible way louis will ever forgive him even as he plots and manipulates to underplay his role in it#they loved each other but armand made sure it would never be in the way he craved the most and then punished himself for it#by strong manning the relationship together with hot glue and stickers even if it was hurting them both#AND THEN with daniel too ffs#DOUBLE of it with daniel if past-devil minion happened too fuck#turning him and then leaving him bc daniel SEES him for who he is and he's not afraid (I mean he is but YOU GET WHAT I MEAN)#possibly erasing his memories of him from the 70's & 80's as both a fucked up attempt to keep daniel alive#(which tbf it works but is STILL a fucked up thing to do)#and to get himself out of a situation in which someone finally started to love him unconditionally the way he wants so badly#but he can't let himself have that can he#I AM SO NORMAL ABOUT THE VAMPIRE ARMAND GUYS#I might be wrong idk I have yet to rewatch s2 but#BUT IT HURTS ANYWAY DONT IT#iwtv#armand#iwtv amc#the vampire armand#interview with the vampire#iwtv s2#armandposting#robin going insane about armand again#iwtv armand
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Banging my head against the wall Iām SO deep into the trope of Person A being like āI have to keep being useful and doing whatever I can to please Person B if Person B ever stops needing me Iāll literally die Iām so so scared that theyāll stop needing meā and Person B saying without any hesitation āIāll never stop needing youā
#Coughs Sanlu#Shima speaks#Itās the no self-esteem person VS the person who loves them unconditionally trope.#Itās the āIām going to doubt every second of this bc I just canāt believe theyād ever want someone like meā VS#āI love this person so so so much and Iāll keep telling them that even after they start believing itā#The āIām so afraid to love you bc I know I donāt deserve you but I canāt give you upā VS#āI canāt live I canāt breathe without you I need you by my side alwaysā#BASHES MY HEAD INTO A WALL AND BREAKS THE PLASTER#Sanlu.
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The scene in The Jedi where Ahsoka tries to get Grogu to use the Force made me realise how long it actually was at that point since we last saw him use it. He hadn't used it since he pushed back the fire from the Incinerator troopers in Redemption.
I wonder if he didn't use it very much after that point because he was trying to say to Din that he didn't really want to be a Jedi anymore. That he didn't want to be reunited with his kind and he wanted to stay with Din. If he didn't use his powers there would be nothing to train.
Until Din showed Grogu he loved him so much that he was happy to let him go. So that's when Grogu decided he should take that path and retrain to be a Jedi...
#din djarin#grogu#ahsoka tano#the mandalorian#clan mudhorn#i'm in agony grogu must have been so ??? to see din so upset when luke took him AHHH this show hurts#loving someone so much you want the best for them even if it means letting them go and hurting you is the purest form of love#din loves grogu unconditionally i'm aCHING he is truly the only man to ever#i guess i've thought about this before in some way but it just hit slightly differently today and now i'm a WRECK#also i said i'd watch one or two i've watched FIVE in a row send help#but then i'm definitely having a break i cannot deal with the last three episodes today LOL
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i still find it so darkly and ironically funny that my "mother" who i will be referring to as my former landlord from here on out always talked about how badly she wanted to be a mother growing up, and then proceeded to fumble the bag so badly that I've straight-up full-on disowned her. lmao. how do you fuck it up that badly. genuinely funny to me I'm not even joking
#byrd chirps#byrd is an exmo#byrd's business#THE FUNNIEST PART TO ME IS THAT SHE WAS DOING WELL ENOUGH#UP TO THE MOMENT THAT I BECAME SOMEONE SHE COULDN'T TOLERATE#AND WHAT WAS MY GREAT SIN? WHAT DID I DO THAT WAS SO ATROCIOUS?#I TRANSED MY GENDER AND LEFT THE CULT WE WERE IN#UNCONDITIONAL LOVE MY FUCKING ASS#literally like. girl how do you manage to convince yourself that you love your child unconditionally when the conditions are right there#you set the conditions! and yet you don't believe they exist!
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destiel hits different when you were raised christian and told thereās a god who loves you unconditionally and is always watching over you but then you figure out thats not true he isnāt real there is no god there is no father in heaven youāre all alone nobody will save you BUT WAIT there is actually a guy who loves you unconditionally and watches over you that part is real
#like the destiel dynamic scratches SUCH a specific itch for me#like its so hard to really put into words the hole left by a god who was never there#but someone can fill that hole#and you donāt have to earn it#ironically for all the teaching that god loves unconditionally it never felt that way#it felt manipulative and that you did in fact have to earn his love#so imagine actually having a love you arenāt guilted into atoning for#anywayā¦enough religious trauma for this post#destiel#deancas#dean winchester#castiel#supernatural#spn#my posts
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Wednesday Fandom hear me out okay?
Little Miss Perfect Ordinary
(In a loose sense)
#wednesday netflix#Bianclair#bianca barclay#enid sinclair#Wednesday (2022)#I just think they should sit down and have a conversation about trying to keep up appearances to be accepted into the lives they want#Bianca needs someone who will love her unconditionally and you know that Enid will give that to her tenfold#And Enid needs someone who will accept her for who she is without being horrified by her#(Fully aware Ajax is here and does do that but also consider we know next to nothing about his actual personality)#Their Poe Cup rivalry existed before Wednesday showed up too#And I will be shipping them as a rare pair forever thank you
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do we actually realise that stede is experiencing romantic love for the first time in his life (i think he loves his children, but aside of that we could even talk about first time experiencing love in his simplest form), and he has no idea about how it works, but still tries running after edward with his little love letter and the āheās a good manā even though heās talking about fcking blackbeard that everyone thinks is a death machine, without a single doubting though
he knows he hurt him, and that now he probably hates him, but still believes that the man who showed him true love canāt be a cruel man
they really said āfell firstā ed and āfell harderā stede
#and to think that this is exactly what edward needs#someone who loves him unconditionally#free from prejudices#or fake horror stories#i think in this season someone will acknowledge that before ed does#coff coff izzy im talking about you coff coff#are we really relying on hands now#this is hilarious#ofmd#ofmd2#our flag means death 2#our flag means death#ofmd 2 spoilers#kermit rants about their beloved frogs
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My ass is NOT used to genuine words despite how much/how many times I receive them
#[ ā
nervo yaps ]#like okok I might tag this as venting#but like yes I get stuff like āI'm here for youā from my family and stuff#but it just feels so different and sm more meaningful for me to hear it from my friends#but even then it's like EXTREMELY complex and hard to explain#like it means the fucking world to me when a friend offhandedly affirms me#or like they indulge in my stupid rambles#with my family it just feels like the ālove your family unconditionallyā kind of thing if that makes sense#it takes out the genuine part for me for some reason idk#and my mom and sister call me Ajax or masculine terms as a way to get my attention or like fun at me and it doesn't even happen often#and my dad just straight up pokes fun at me#no jokes to be made#like again they rarely even acknowledge my identity as a trans man#they occasionally acknowledge me being bi#but rlly only my mom does#my dad just nods along kinda#like he agrees but he seems indifferent to the point where he just does not care#and not in a good way#It's also when a friend says āyou deserve itā (looking at devil rn) I get all giddy#that's smth I don't hear often at ALL#and it's abt smth I hold dear?#like fr???#Idk. someone put me to bed I cannot be having these thoughts at almost 4 am
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I think that Shen Yuan came from a good family but he also suffered from a shit body and a shit outlook on life at times-????
Like I feel like the idea that he might have had some chronic illness during his life is true, and the reality that he was weaker and struggled more then his family members did probably made something in him change.
Like heās well off and his family loves him but sometimes he sits there and wonders if itās worth it. Like heās not doing anything- sure he dotes on his little sister and sure heās loved but what is doing to return that? Living? He knows his family loves him but sometimes he wishes he could do more.
So he pours himself into reviewing things online, he turns his anger at himself out to the world, he hopes that spewing anger and criticism at others will make it better- (it doesnāt)
And maybe thatās why heās so hateful to himself, why the internalised homophobia is so bad- because does he even deserve to be loved? He was useless his last life, and in this heās a mess- just a villain meant to die-
Shen Yuan deludes himself into placing himself lower, seeing himself as less then, just as he does to the characters that are now real people. He doesnāt want to see everyone as people, because then he has to accept the fact that this is his new life.
He canāt accept love, even if he tries, he feels guilt that he turns to anger or dismissal, because his family loves him but maybe he doesnāt think they shouldāve, and now Binghe loves him, but should he? After all he did?
I think itās kinda tragic. Shen Yuan is leagues better for the story and much kinder and healthier but heās not perfectly fine, ya know? Heās still kinda messed up.
And I think we should discuss it more.
#I hope this makes sense lol#I think heās messy#and needs some therapy#clearly thereās this disconnect between himself and the world#and even his own worth and personal value.#cause otherwise I doubt heād be so in denial about being gay#I also think heās never thought about being in love#sure heās simped and lusted#but love? loving someone else that isnāt his family??? that isnāt someone or people that are kinda meant to love you unconditionally???#yeah I think heās scared of that#I think he thinks he doesnāt quite deserve that#that someone like him isnāt worth it#I dunno#thereās some trauma and stuff there#svsss#shen yuan#shen qingqiu#i have thoughts#lou binghe#bingqiu
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