#someone tell me they understand
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
The biggest and most isolating thing about being transsexual currently is that I am unable to love.
I’ve always wanted a girlfriend, but my attraction towards women is so distant and locked away because I cannot fall in love with one the way I want to: as a man.
In another universe, I’m biologically male from birth and have the guts to confess to the girl I like. I could even be her boyfriend. I could care for her.
But in my reality, I cannot confess.
It’s impossible for me to feel proper male on female (if that makes sense) attraction when I’m socially, in the eyes of the girl I like, a woman.
And revealing that I’m a man doesn’t help because I am still transsexual. I’m not saying transmales aren’t males don’t get it twisted lmao, but I think getting into a relationship while socially still being and looking a woman, is something I cannot handle.
Even now I cannot articulate my feelings well about this. I’m left confused, disoriented, and most of all pained. Especially now because there’s this girl I really like, the first one I’ve really loved this much in a long while, and knowing I will never get the chance, ever, is making me sick in the stomach. I feel like she’s so close yet so far 😔
Also the fact that I have to reveal to others that I’m trans, even after full transition, is just kinda repulsive to me.
#transsexual#idk rant#I feel like no one else struggles with this lowkey#yeah unfortunately due to circumstance and being in a traditionalist country I cannot reveal#womp womp for me ig#someone tell me they understand#I’m going crazy#I’m telling you this girl is perfect#she’s cute funny energetic a good mix of femininity while still being tomboyish and she likes what I like#but fuck me I gotta be this way#kill me for real 🗣️
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
“What are you up to?”
Not much
Just walking outside at 2am, bare foot, with blood soaked pjs :)
#tw bl0od#tw self h4rm#tw self destructive behavior#tw self destructive thoughts#tw self destruction#tw selfhate#tw blade#tw blood#tw#self h@te#self h4te#self harm#self h@rm#vent post#vent#send help#idek anymore#I just don’t want to be here#someone tell me they understand#please
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
ugh you guys i have so many f1 fic ideas with all the different drivers but i just can't 😩
i can't get past the whole writing for real people thing. it just doesn't feel right to me... can't put my finger on why. do any other writers feel the same way? not sure what it is (i think it might be to do with oversexualising actual people*... idk), but nevertheless. annoying bc you guys know i'd eat with the f1 fics 😌
*because like, there's posting a pic of a celeb with a slightly unhinged sexy caption (guilty) and then there's writing thousands of words putting them in a fake sexual scenario... do you get me? or do i make no sense lol
#someone tell me they understand#feel like I don't make any sense but also make perfect sense in my brain hehehe
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
Alligator tears 🦌 🥲
The beauty of the pumpkin head joke is that the true joke is TELLING the joke to people.
For those who don’t know it, this is the joke:
A man with a pumpkin for a head walks into a bar. The bartender exclaims: “My god, I’m sorry, but WHAT happened to your head?”
The man sighs and says, “So I found a genie in a bottle who granted me three wishes…”
Bartender: “Ok, well what were the wishes?”
Man: “Well, my 1st wish was for 100 million dollars. AND I GOT IT!!”
Bartender: “WOW! Okay…what was the 2nd wish?”
Man: “For the 2nd wish, I asked for the most beautiful woman in the world to fall in love with me…AND I GOT THAT TOO!”
Bartender: “Incredible! So then…what was the 3rd wish?”
Man: “Now see…that’s where I really messed up…
I asked for a giant pumpkin head”
#trust me if you tell the joke to someone#you will understand why it is so funny hahahaha#or you’ll think I’m crazy#BUT WHATEVER HAHAHA#hazbin hotel#alastor#hazbin hotel fanart#my doods#charlie morningstar#Vaggie#angel dust
11K notes
·
View notes
Text
You don't wish your disability was worse or more visible, you wish your disability was taken seriously. Please stop confusing the two, I guarantee you would not get the support you need JUST by being more severe or more visible. Please listen to visibly disabled people when we tell you it isn't better on our side
#m/cc#mine#I tried extremely hard to word this nicely because I KNOW people don't mean bad and often even know there are unique challenges#and believe me I know the challenges of invisible disability too!!#I have invisible disabilities!#but as someone who has also been at least visibly 'off' since they were 10 I am SO SICK of invisible disabilities being hailed as like#a unique extra oppression that us lucky visibly disabled people don't have to deal with#there are challenges to invisible disabilities that visibly disabled people DON'T have to deal with!#but you need to understand that *the reverse is also true*#there are MASSIVE benefits to being able to lie about your disability for example#or not dealing with the overt ableism that comes with your disability being obvious to everyone#*I do not have the option to pretend I'm not disabled.* that is never an option I have#I walk weirdly. I use a mobility aid now. my speech and face are 'off.' I lean to one side#for a long time I wore sunglasses 24/7 and often didn't make sense. I sometimes can't speak or won't react to others#for the most part people will always know that at the very least something is wrong with me#and more obviously I have people telling me they'll pray for me; telling me I can't do things I'm already in the process of doing;#wanting to shake my hand to tell me I'm an inspiration for not killing myself; giving me dirty looks for existing in public#and yes. I'm aware that this is very much an in-community issue. I know the average abled person doesn't know invisible disabilities exist#that's why there's so much awareness happening for it#but as a visibly disabled person I get SO TIRED of constantly hearing 'I wish my disability was visible :'('#it's just 'I wish I had your disability!' but from other disabled people
4K notes
·
View notes
Text
Social anxiety level: Chatting with someone experiencing a schizophrenic episode and becoming increasingly self-concious of how I'm just saying "That sounds really stressful", "I've never heard of that but it sounds scary", and "You must be pretty worried about that" over and over again
#They needed someone to wait with them while their friend came to pick them up#And the whole time I was waiting for them to call bullshit#Like YOU HAVENT SAID ANYTHING MEANINGFUL YOURE SO BAD AT THIS#I'm sorry I'm making this one about me ma'am I'm just terrified that everyone I talk to is gonna give be a bad grade#I don't understand or beleive most of what you're saying but from the legit science you're quoting I can tell you've done some research#The research stuff I appreciate we can totally talk about that#Please God let me talk about Chordata or HTML instead of the thing I can't see or hear wouthout encouraging your delusion#I'd get SUCH a good grade at discussing invertebrates with you
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
friend wanted to see my tumblr, and when i told him i can’t show it to him bc it’s basically my personal diary he went “oh so I can’t see it but a bunch of strangers on tumblr can??” he literally does not get me. no one will get me like the people in my phone get me
#It’s just so different#even though it’s public it still feels secret and safe. i feel comfy sharing a lot more on here than I do in my actual day to day life lol#in my head I’m also just speaking to myself 90% of the time which helps#if a friend off tumblr saw my thoughts I’d feel so weird ab it#esp bc they might get the vagueposting about certain situations and tell mutual friends#no thank u. this is for me. I’m not about to start censoring my thoughts bc someone I know knows my tumblr#u guys literally saw me have LIVE BREAKDOWNS#meanwhile I’ll have the worst fucking day in history and tell no one about it. I’m already cripplingly private but way more so in real life#this is basically a low stress journaling outlet for me. it’s so important for me to maintain the separation#like this is actually my diary & has been so handy for letting out emotions / articulating thoughts / staying on track !!#& I’ve met so many kind people on here who actually get me. which is so hard to find irl bc I’m surrounded by pre-med gunners/overachievers#who are by standard not very good w emotion & can be competitive/judgmental. or at least it’s hard for me to be vulnerable in front of them#and I’m part of that crowd so I reserve my emotions only to a handful of very close friends#it’s nice to hop on here and express negative emotions!! or positive emotions!! just whatever I want and it’s low stress and people get me#I don’t have to worry about judgment or competitiveness etc etc#like everyone on here is so kind & nice & understanding. & just a breath of fresh air from the types I run w. it’s just nice to have this#so idk that’s why I think I’ll always be strict about keeping the worlds separate. it just works#p
7K notes
·
View notes
Text
assortment of shitposts for your viewing pleasure
#please tell me someone will understand the divorce one#does anyone care about emily ortal but me </3#also can you tell i like independent new vegas#fnv#fallout#fallout new vegas#courier 6#arcade gannon#raul tejada#benny gecko#emily ortal#yes man#robert house
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
Progression (and digressions).
The first post of the year belongs to the one, the only, the boy you've had for less than a month but if anything happens to him you'll murder me slowly and painfully: Lu Ten II.
His travels through the Earth Kingdom with Zuko are some of my favorite moments in the Spitfire AU! We get to see their dynamic truly flourish and deepen before they're reunited with the rest of their family.
But then the Gaang is forced to take care of Ten Ten as they move through the Fire Nation.
Spitfire grows a lot during the course of the story—and not just in height! He's the hope for a better future and the kindness needed to go through the present. I love him dearly, and I hope so do you.
#atla#avatar the last airbender#zuko#atla fanart#atla art#prince zuko#spitfire#Spitfire AU#lu ten fanart#lu ten atla#lu ten#Lu Ten II#atla oc#zuko alone#atla zuko#atla au#fire nation royal family#fire hazard siblings#the gaang#His outfits were so fun to design! The Fire Nation look especially gave me a lot of trouble. It's one of my faves tho.#I didn't know if Ten Ten was a firebender or not at first but the thought of him being a literal spitfire won me over.#Imagine Prince Lu Ten II walking towards Ran and Shaw with no fear or hesitation in the Firebending Masters episode.#Him reaching out to Druk's egg. Him being the first to understand the Dragons and dance with them. Him helping Zuko and Aang with their fir#So yeah—he's a firebender.#(Fire gave warmth before it learned to burn. Ten Ten is young and pure and unbidden—his fire is life before life grows cruel.)#But I digress#Tell me which Ten Ten is your fave!#He is a very expressive young boy#So my fave involves a scowl and a not-as-warm-as-he-needs parka#Special shoutout for Tea Shop Lu Ten II though. Someone give the boy a proper-sized apron!
559 notes
·
View notes
Text
If you follow my main you had to know this was coming… anyway. Enjoy these bloodweave doodles :)
#bloodweave#gale x astarion#astarion x gale#baldur's gate 3#bg3#baldurs gate more like baldurs gay amirite folks?#yeah sorry the themes of hunger abuse and power got to me. I’m not immune to thematically mirrors#I have so many thoughts about the it’s not even funny anymore#oh you mean to tell me that canonically gale would offer up his blood if asked and that astarion can’t even do that bc of the orb ??#tasteful irony that the guy who would want to help can’t do that bc of a mistake he made for love.#especially devastating for someone who measures his self worth in usefulness#oh they are so fucked up and they could understand each other in ways hardly reachable to others#once I start an origin run it’s over for you guys I will be so insufferable. even more than usual
4K notes
·
View notes
Text
“You’re so quiet, what are you thinking about?”
#the way this pops into my head like 50 times a day isn’t even funny#I’m back on my joseph quinn bullshit guys#there’s no helping me#someone please tell me you understand#why’d he say it like that tho 😭#joseph quinn#happy sad confused
528 notes
·
View notes
Text
You’ve heard of t4t now get ready for:
✨ C4C ✨
Aka “creature for creature” meaning only date creatures in the foreseeable future
#this was sparked on me by remembering how when I tried telling the first guy I dated about my kinnity he laughed in my face#and didn’t take me seriously whatsoever#also just because I honestly don’t feel like I could connect to someone deeply if they didn’t also experience being La Creatura#like how’re they gonna understand my little creature noises and mannerisms???#otherkin#alterhuman#godkin#dragonkin#nonhuman#caninekin#therian#<— not me but it applies for em so#kras rambles
727 notes
·
View notes
Text
"You came back!"
I animated part of a scene from As long as we are loved by @shirajellyfish! I really recommend checking it out if you haven't! It's really well-written and Sun and Moon are both so lovable!! Look at how excited Living Doll Sun is to see you!!!
Also please look at it fullscreen if you can, I worked hard on Sun's little double-take at the beginning but it's hard to see. :')
(ALSO credit to this video of the player shooting Sun with darts in HW2 for helping me visualize Sun doing a cartwheel and also for letting me listen to Sun go "Gh-! What are you doing? Shoot the board! The board!" as many times as I want. I love him)
#fnaf dca#fnaf sun#fnaf dca au#sun x reader#sun x y/n#dca au fanart#my art#animation#if you notice any mistakes please do not tell me#also if someone who happens to know how to properly animate a cartwheel sees this#I am begging for your forgiveness and understanding#I am only a small slime all I know is smear frames
215 notes
·
View notes
Text
NO MORE ASSOCIATING THINGS WITH FEMMES ONLY BECAUSE THEY ARE PINK!HYPERFEM FEMMES ARE GREAT AND I LOVE YOU CAMPY FEMMES WHO EMBODY PINK BUT ALSO JESUS CHRIST CAN YOU GUYS NOT GO MORE THAN ONE DAY W/O TRYING TO SHOEHORN FEMMES INTO BEING ONLY PINK UWU BABIES. I AM FEMME AS IN GRASS AS IN DIRT AS IN TREE BARK AS IN WEEDS SPROUTING THROUGH THE SIDEWALK CEMENT. FEMME AS IN GENDER NONCONFORMITY AS IN FUCK YOU MY FEMININITY IS WHAT *I* SAY IT IS. FEMME AS IN DEPTH AND DARKNESS AND WARMTH AND TERROR. FEMME AS IN CAVES. FEMME AS IN LIGHTNING. FEMME AS IN AN AMALGAMATION OF TRAITS THAT I HAVE DECIDED ARE FEMININE REGARDLESS OF WHAT SOCIETY SAYS. FUCK IS IT THAT HARD TO UNDERSTAND?!???
#personal#i am emotional yes#over the years ive had this blog I've made a few posts abt being femme#nd whether they're serious or jokey..... inevitably someone in the tags goes “ohhh yeah bc pink”#or in the case of what inspired this post: someone going “what about the pink ones” on my praying mantis post#and im just.#sick of it. im sick of femme being equated to pink and frilly girlie behaviors.#im sick of femme being equated to skirts and heels. to makeup. to skincare. to pristine nails exactly almond shaped.#im sick of ppl acting like All femmes aspire to this shit. im sick of femms being reduced to this shit.#and i love pink! i love pink! my phone theme is quite literally just black and pink all over.#im just. so tired of any expression of Femme identity being shoehorned into being a Specific type of femininity#especially as someone who DOES get dysphoric wearing skirts. wearing dresses. embodying the femme aesthetic yall are so set on making#if u guys wanna rb this i truly dont care#i just needed to scream#and this is one small thing#but the 2nd largest category of anon hate i have gotten since making this blog is str8 up homophobia from other “queer” folks#saying i cant be femme bc of how i present. calling me slurs (and using them as such) bc they cant understand femme as anything but that#my wife and i have our users in our personal discord server set as 2 different things of anon hate ive gotten#i have had OTHER FEMMES tell me i am not femme. femmes who Know im femme who still call me butch. femmes who ive corrected and been blocked#-by bc of it. the number 1 largest demographic of queerfolk who have me blocked rn is TME femmes who embody pink also#and i dont think its a coincidence at all. (and i know this bc i go to try and follow these ppl bc they get rbed on my dash & i cant)#and ik their blogs arent deleted bc some of them don't block my wife (tall. white. butch) and it cant be politics cause her and i rb#a lot of the same political shit (fuck. i think she rbs More than i do even. this is genuinely mainly a nsft blog)#and usually i don't say anything but im having a bad day so i get to be angry about this and if anyone fucking tries me i will block u#idc if we've been mutuals 4ever. im judt so tired of feeling like i am not Enough as a femme bc i dont embody this shit#im sick of this lameass lip service to he/him gnc femmes etc when the thin white 50s housewife femme is still what is preferred and loved#im sick of this lamesss lip service when y'all feel entitled to theorizing on other femmes genders bc u cant conceptualize a femme who does#wanna be hypetfeminine. im sick of it. im sick of it. im sick of it.#celebrity bun
470 notes
·
View notes
Text
i may be a romantic, but im also aromantic
#please tell me someone else understands#i cant be the only one#aroace#aromantic#asexual#arospec#asexual aromantic#aromantism#aromantic asexual#lgbtq
203 notes
·
View notes
Text
volume cw (i tried lowering it but jic. also loud swearing)
#ninjago#lego ninjago#jaya#ninjago jaya#jaya ninjago#nya ninjago#nya jiang#nya smith#ninjago nya#jay walker#aphid’s ninjashits#aphid philosophy#procrastinating studying for my wr…#ive made like 4 posts in a row about jaya like idgaf…#why so jaya? - the jayar#you watched skybound and then you had nowhere to ship#i couldve started going on ao3…#no if jayatar’s friends didnt ship you you wouldve gotten seabound syndrome#i know my own jaya streak uncle…#is it your own jayastreak or is it a jayastreak someone else tried to pose on you#<- is this comprehensible to anyone else please tell me someone understands this reference#if not i look genuinely just like brainrotted really#sorry….#the jayamaxxer#these are like the worst tags sorry again
890 notes
·
View notes