#someone should take my money away from me
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One Night Repair
A/N: Hey so I've had this idea of !WorstWolverine meeting someone at a bar and having really aggressive sex to blow off steam... it gets pretty cute at the end in my opinion so I hope you like it. Takes place post time ripper.
Pairing: Worst!Logan Howlett x Female!Reader
Word Count: 5.3k
Summary: You meet Logan at a bar, and he ends up wrecking your apartment. You'd usually object in the morning but... he had something else in mind.
Content Warnings: 18+ SMUT MDNI, swearing, p in v, creampie, fingering (fem! receiving), light choking, multiple orgasms, oral (f + m receiving), literally words of pure nasty smut, idk I'm h*rny, porn w/o plot, no use of y/n. porn & somewhat plot (in between the lines), actually y’all i apologize this is just pure smut i think, rough sex, overstimulation, slapping, pussy slapping, tiny hint of arousal from crying, Praise kink, Pet names (hun, baby, doll, sweetheart, darlin’, angel, honey, bunny), Squirting, Body worship, slight use of restraints, Dom x Brat... If I missed anything please tell me.
⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺ ⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺ ⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺ ⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺
The evening dragged on like any other. Another late night shift, another bar full of drunk bastards. You like that the owner would let you wear what you wanted to work, and tonight, you opted for a simple black tank top and black workout leggings. They hugged your curves well enough to get decent tips but didn't expose you enough to get groped by strangers, not that any of these bastards were smart enough to not touch you like that.
Most of the evening was normal, your regulars ordered their usuals, and you kept up your friendly facade as you worked.
Unfortunately for one patron, he decided to grab you as you leaned over the table to deliver his group's next round of drinks, earning a concerned brow raise from Logan, who was sitting at the bar. You had tried making small talk when he ordered his drinks from you, but he preferred to stay quiet. You shrugged it off as him not wanting company and carried on with your orders.
"Excuse you, I am not on the menu." You bitch rather loudly, grabbing his hand and pinning it to the table with a rather quick motion. Tonight was not the night to fuck with you. You were itching for a fight, but not enough that you'd be willing to lose your job.
"Ey, ey easy sweetheart! Just trying to have a good time!" He groaned, pulling his hand free from the pressure grip.
"You're done." You said calmly, "You leave your money and you get the hell outta here." You release his arm, and saunter your way back to behind the bar, cursing to yourself under your breath.
"Nice technique," Logan speaks up. "But next time you should break his wrist." He takes a swig from his beer.
You turn your head from the drink you were mixing to look him over. You toss him a half smile. "You wanna be next?"
He chuffs. "Tempting."
You roll your eyes and serve the mixed drink, moving on to cleaning some stacked-up glasses. He eyes you out of the corner of his, nursing his beer. He noticed how your attitude had changed, your responses to the patrons weren't nearly as friendly as they were when he arrived.
Closing time finally rolled around, and Logan couldn't help but wait outside with a cigar in his mouth. You cleaned up the bar, and as you locked up, you spotted the tall stranger leaning nearby.
"You lurking?" You put your hands in your jacket pockets as you turn to confront the stranger.
"Walkin'" He said. "Thought you'd want an escort." He puts out his cigar on the cold brick wall, also putting his hands in his pockets.
"I can handle myself." You scoff.
"Heh, Yeah, I saw that," He admitted, stepping a bit closer. "But I didn't like how that guy eyed the alley on his way out."
You roll your eyes, shake your head, and begin walking toward your apartment, which is only a few blocks away.
He followed from a safe distance, but not too far so he could still be there if something happened to you.
"I don't need a bodyguard." You call over your shoulder.
"I know. I'm walkin' home too." He replied with a smirk.
You roll your eyes and continue your path home. He continued behind you, just a few steps away. You stop at a traffic light, and he stops next to you.
"I never caught your name..." You say looking up toward him.
He smirks and faces you. You can't help the way your eyes dilate as you take in his features. He was handsome, in a rugged way. Something about him made you want to climb him like a tree but, you weren't that easy... were you?
"It's Logan." You hum a response and turn to face the pedestrian light that changed to allow you to walk. He followed a bit closer now, but making sure to read your body language to make sure he wasn't making you too uncomfortable.
"Why did you really follow me home? Hmm? looking for somewhere to crash?" You decide to at least make some small talk.
"Like I said, thought you'd want an escort." His replies were brief, which was relatively aggravating. Thankfully your apartment complex was only a few feet away.
"And like I said, I can handle myself." You toss back. You twirl quickly to meet his gaze, causing him to stop abruptly. "So thank you but no thank you, you can fuck off now, Logan"
His eyes darkened as you cussed at him. His brow raised at your boldness. His lips were inches from yours, and his breath fanned over your flushed cheeks.
"Say that again." He growled.
"Say what?" You stood your ground, not allowing your body to falter. You kept a strong stance, eyes fixed on his. "Logan?" You smirked, enjoying how worked up he seemed.
He pressed closer, pushing you against the door to your apartment. You sucked in a breath at the forced proximity, your eyes glancing at his lips briefly.
Logan loved how defiant you were. He would've left you alone at the door had you not whipped around on him and sassed him like that.
"Say the word, and I'll walk away," He leaned in closer, his large, muscular arm bracing his tall frame against your door.
Your legs rubbed together to soothe the newfound ache between your thighs. 'Fuck it...' you thought. If he was gonna tax your time and patience after a shit night, the least he could do for you is be a good lay.
You arched your back into him, allowing your lips to connect in a rough, passionate kiss. His teeth graze your bottom lip, his tongue following suit, as he attacks you. His free hand meets your waist, pinning you to the door. You can’t help the soft whimper from escaping you, as his hand slides down your thigh and pulls your knee up to his waist.
He moves down and sinks his teeth on the sensitive spot on your neck, pulling a sharp gasp from your lips. Your hands move to his neck, holding on for some kind of grounding. You open your eyes, coming down and realizing you are still in the hallway. “Fuck…” you groan.
“Such a dirty little mouth…” Logan growled into your neck. He took a moment to catch his breath.
A shiver ran down your spine, and your hips buck involuntarily. Logan smiles against your flushed skin. “Oh… You like that?” He purred.
God, you hated this guy. He is so cocky but he’s so fucking attractive you can’t help but want him. “Oh shut up…” You groan.
“Do you not want me, pretty girl?” He cooed.
You don’t reply. You do want him, but you couldn’t let the smug bastard have that satisfaction. He leans back to meet your hazy gaze. He licks his lips at the sight of your swollen lips, and at that, you find yourself turning around to unlock your apartment door.
Logan removes his arm from the door and watches as you go inside. He’s more respectful than you thought. He actually fucking waited for you to invite him inside. You look at him, half exasperated at his cockiness, and half desperate for him to come in. You stand there holding the door open.
“May I come in?” He asks with a sly smile, leaning against the door frame.
You roll your eyes and grab him by the jacket, pulling him inside. “Oh Fuck you.” Your lips crash into his as he enters your apartment. The door shuts behind him, and his hands immediately find your hips. He growls and harshly pushes you against the wall. You thought you were just crazy, but he threw you against that wall so hard, he dented your wall.
“Filthy fucking mouth…” He growled between the fight of your lips and teeth. His words pull a moan from you, your legs automatically wrapping around his waist. Logan’s hands grip your thighs firmly. You whimper when you feel his very hard cock pressing against his jeans into your core.
You tug off his jacket and throw it aggressively to the floor. Logan’s hands wander to your tank top, making quick work of removing it. His hands roam your body, almost as if in silent worship.
“Fuck…” You groan. You lean forward and bite his neck hard, causing Logan to buck his hips and punch the wall. A growl ripped from his throat as he gripped your hips and ground into your core, pulling another needy whine from your throat.
“You want this?” He growled, grinding into your core again. “You fucking want me to fuck you pretty girl?” He bites your neck back pulling another moan from your lips.
“Mmh fuck you… fucking asshole.” You whine. You grab his shirt and pull it off, ripping some of the threads as you do. He allows it, before his hand wraps around your throat, holding your head against the wall, squeezing hard enough for you to get a slight high from the pressure.
“I’m gonna fuck that attitude right out of you, dirty girl. The only curses you’re gonna make are pleas to god.” Your eyes meet his, and you bite your bottom lip.
“Is that a promise?” You grind your hips against him again, a fierce need building quickly, Logan growls again.
“Needy fucking thing…” He curses to himself. He spots the couch in the dim room and throws you on it. “Take ‘em off.” Logan orders. You bite your lip as you watch him remove his belt expertly. He starts to wrap the belt into a figure 8. “Now.” His eyes flicked from your pants to your eyes.
Defiance shone in your eyes. “Make me.” You smile devilishly, crossing your arms. Logan let out an annoyed huff, and yanked your legs to him, spreading you wide. He started to kiss you passionately again, and just as you thought you got away with it, Logan raised his hand and slapped your heated core.
The sound that escapes your lips is a mixture of pleasure and pain. “What the hell?!” You whimper. Logan’s eyes are dark.
“I said, take, em’, off.” His voice left no room for discussion. You stare at him as your thumbs hook the waist of your pants, and slowly pull them down, exposing your soaked undergarments. The scent of you filled Logan’s nose. He let out a low growl. “Good girl.” His hand glides up your thigh feeling how wet you were. “Mmh look at you. Already soaking wet for me. Such a pretty little fucking thing.”
Goosebumps rose over your body, his words sending shivers throughout your body. Or was it his hands? Where one hand was grazing your cunt gently, the other was pulling on your hair slightly as he held himself up over you. He grabs your hands and pins them over your head. He slides his belt over your wrists, tightening it.
He places rough kisses down your body, biting here and there. He hovered over your cunt, releasing a hot breath over it, making you arch your back and whine. Logan smirked. “Mmh look at you, so wet for me.” He hooks his arms around your thighs, holding them open for him. He inhales and runs his tongue up the length of your cunt, over your soaked panties.
A moan escapes your lips, your hips bucking from the contact. “Now are you gonna be a good girl and do as I say?” He licks his lips.
“Maybe” you reply.
Logan grunts and leans forward. You cry out as a sharp pain emits from your cunt, where Logan just bit through your garment.
“Rule one.” He looks into your eyes from his position between your thighs. “You do as I say. You be a good girl, and you get pleasure. You be bad?” He licks over the sensitive spot he just bit. “And you get pain. Understand?” He holds eye contact, waiting for an answer.
“Yes…” You say through a breathy moan.
“Yes, what?” He grazes his thumb over your trembling lower half.
“Yes… sir.” You bite your lip and gaze at him through hooded lids.
“Good girl.” He smiles and pulls your underwear down your thighs. You whimper as the cool air of your apartment meets your aching core, and Logan watches as you clamp around nothing. “Such a needy little thing, I’ve barely even touched you and you’re already aching for me.” He smirks and lazily strokes your inner thigh, avoiding all the best spots on purpose. You groan in frustration.
"Ah ah ah... patience counts toward you being good, you want to be good for me don't you kitten?" He rubs his thumb over your clit, pulling another stuttering gasp from your lips.
"Y-yes s-sir." You whisper. He smirks and glides his tongue up the length of your cunt, flicking your clit gently with each stroke. A silent praise for your good behavior. You moan as he laps up your pussy, acting like a man starved. You instinctively roll your hips, but Logan keeps them firmly planted under his arms. His thick biceps hold you down with ease.
You begin to feel that familiar ache in your lower belly, as he draws little circles with the tip of his tongue around that sensitive little bundle of nerves. He adjusts his arms, one placed over your lap and the other begins teasing your entrance. He slides his middle finger in and groans at how you squeeze him.
"Fuck..." He growled between laps. "So tight..." He can only imagine the feeling of sheathing himself inside you later. He knew he needed to work you up to that though. So after a few soft thrusts, Logan slides his ring finger in, pulling a desperate moan from your lips. He curls his fingers expertly till he finds the spongey sensitive spot in your core. You arch your back as he finds it. "There it is..." He moans. He wraps his lips around your clit and sucks hard while offering soft flicks of his tongue for relief. He feels your walls quaking around his fingers. He knows you're close.
"FUCK!" You moan out. Logan's merciless attack on your most sensitive spots sends you barrelling toward your climax so fast it's dizzying. Your moans grew louder and more desperate as he continued his attack.
"You wanna cum baby?" He growled, his words muffled. "Ask me, baby, nicely, and I'll let you."
"Fuck you!" You cry, your body hot and writhing. Logan bit down on your clit again, pulling a pained wail from your lips.
"I said behave pretty girl. That's the only way you're gonna get what you want." He thrust a third finger in aggressively.
You moan louder at the intrusion, digging your nails into your palms. "Fuck! P-Please.. pleaseeee..." You whine, your body so close to its release.
"Please what?" He lifts his head off your cunt for a moment to hear you better.
"Please.. please can I cum? Please Logan I want to.. I need to cum...." You whine. The need to finish overwhelming your iron will. Logan, now satisfied with your pleas, lowers his head and continues to flick your clit with his tongue, pulling the most pathetic little sounds from your lips. Your walls flutter around his probing digits.
“That’s right baby,” he cooed “let go for me…” your toes curled at his words. The final push your body needed to release a cry of his name, followed by a mumbled jumble of curses. He smirks and laps up the excess fluids spewing from your body as he relishes in the mess he’s making of you. His fingers slow, and he raises to place a hard kiss on your lips. He trails down to your jaw, giving your clit soft circles with his thumbs as he helps you ride it out. “Goooood girl…” he moans into your neck.
You whimper as he removes his hand from your cunt. He uses his free hand to grip the back of your head and pull it back slightly, earning another gasp of pleasurable pain from your lips. “Open,” he growls.
You whimper and look into his eyes for a moment, unsure what he meant. He furrows his brow and pulls your hair a bit tighter. “Open your mouth, pretty girl.” He says again. You whimper but slowly open your mouth for him. He slides his fingers into your mouth and you suck them clean. He grins, releasing a breathy groan as he watches you greedily suck on his fingers.
"Atta girl, atta girl..." He smiles and pulls his hand away, replacing his fingers with his lips and tongue. You moan as he wraps his arms around your waist. He lifts you off the couch to your feet. He places you down on your feet. "Can you walk?" He says in a low growl.
"You think I can't?" You reply sarcastically, catching your breath. He chuckles and removes the restraints in your hands.
"So feisty." His eyes graze over your face, which was defiantly looking back at him. You smile and bite your lip, as a wicked idea crosses your mind. This fucking man just made you a whimpering mess and you intended to do the same to him. Before he catches on, you turn and shove him onto the couch. "Hey wait-" You grab him through his jeans and smile up at him from your knees.
"What? Do I have to ask for permission to suck your cock too?" You smirk. He smiles and chuckles to himself.
"I suppose not." He unbuttons his jeans and you help him pull them off. You suck in a short breath when you spot how big he is. You run your hand over his bulge and hook your fingers in the waistband. You expose his member, as it springs free with a loud *thwack* against his toned abdomen. You bite your lip at the sight. You inhale deeply and grip him firmly, bringing him to your lips. You lick up the length of him, flicking the tip that's dribbling with pre cum. He lets out a breath of relief and lounges his arms across the back of the couch.
'The smug bastard' you thought. You'd be lying if you said you hated how he immediately took control of you, but now was time for your revenge. You look in his length, allowing him to slip into the back of your throat with ease. You smile at the buck of his hips, and glide your teeth back up his shaft, earning a hiss. He looked down at you with a glare, and you simply smiled at him innocently. You wrap your lips around the tip and suck while pumping his shaft with your fist. You work him slowly at first, enjoying how he groans at your touch.
Now that you've got him, you start bobbing your head on his cock. The sound of his dick hitting the back of your throat, paired with his groans fill the room. When his moans get particularly loud you graze your teeth along his shaft once more. He growls and grabs your hair at the base of your head.
"Behave..." He warns. You smile innocently again.
"I am behaving." You tease
"Little fuckin' brat..." He mumbles.
Your mouth is replaced with your fist, however, you're quick to occupy your mouth. You dip your head between his legs, holding his glistening cock so it's pressed against his belly as you press your wet tongue onto his balls. He bucks his hips and groans, tugging at your hair.
The sounds he makes above you are downright filthy, deep moans and filthy praise that have you moving faster. The lewd sounds of your actions fill the room along with the rising sounds escaping Logan's lips. His moans are deeper, harsher, and you can feel his pulse through his cock. He's close. You work him perfectly, syncing your bobbing head with your hands, stroking and massaging.
"F- Fuck!" He growls. He bucks his hips up while grabbing your head and holding you in place. "Stay still, stay right fuckin' t-there." He strains. With another flick of your tongue, he unloads into your mouth. You drink him greedily and smile. The sweat dripping down the side of his face was enough for you to know he was spent.
When his grip on your head loosens, you smirk and graze your teeth along his shaft once more. The smirk on your face is quickly wiped away when Logan hisses and grabs your head again.
"I told you to behave." He growled. "And look at you, all smug because you think after one little orgasm I'm done with you?" He catches his breath and unsheathes a claw. "Little do you know brat, I'm just getting started with you." He cuts the center of your bra off with his claw, and grabs your now exposed breast aggressively. You bite your lip to hide the moan that threatened to erupt. Fuck, this guy was hot.
He pulls your head closer to his, causing you to crawl up the couch over him. "Get. In. Your. Bed." He growled in your face. His eyes demanded you take him to your room, so he could finish what you both started.
Oh but you, ever the defiant one. "You don't wanna take me here? on this couch?" You talk-back.
"You deserve to be properly bedded, even if you are a little brat." He pulls you in for another kiss. He nibbles on your lip and rubs your head, worried he may have hurt you the last time he tugged. You smile, pull off of him, and lead him to your bedroom.
The sounds of your footsteps fill your ears as you try to keep yourself together because fuck, he can't know how goddamn turned on you were at his words. Or rather, everything about him. Once Logan knew which room you were taking him in, he picked you up and threw you onto your own bed, earning a soft yelp from you.
Logan strokes his cock as he gazes over you, laying helplessly in the bed. "Look at you... so fuckin' pretty. I hope you don't have to work tomorrow..." he smirks, pulling you to the edge of the bed.
"Why is that?" You say, raising your arms to cover your exposed breasts.
"Because..." He grabs your arms and pins them above your head. He leans in, where he's mere inches from your lips. "You won't be able to walk in the morning." He leans down and crashes his lips onto yours. You feel him grind against your core, still slick from his previous actions. You buck your hips as he grinds over your sensitive clit. "So sensitive.." He works his way down to your neck and bites down hard as he sheathes himself.
"Fuck! Fuck, Logan I didn't do anything what was that for?" You cry out. He chuckles and licks the spot he bit.
"You tried to hide your body from me... You broke rule 2." He purrs.
"You never said there was a second rule..." You whimper. Logan smirks.
"Didn't I?" He smirks, and thrusts harshly into you once more, pulling yet another loud moan from your lips.
"FUCK! Gods I fucking hate you... You cocky bastard..." You groan. Logan's smirk returns.
"Don't worry pretty girl, if you're good, I'll be gentle." He teases with a slow thrust.
"And what if I don't want you to be gentle?" You challenge.
"Mmmm that can be arranged. I can make a rule you'll keep breaking. Over and over and over." He pumps again, slowly.
"And what rule might that be?" You arch your body into him, gaining some more friction than he was currently giving.
"Rule 3. No cussing. Not for you, brat." He smiles, giving you a knowing look. You whimper at the new rule, knowing he's got you pinned.
"You don't fuckin mean that..." You whine.
Without hesitation, Logan takes one breast in his mouth and pinches the other between his fingers, earning a sharp cry from you. "Oh I assure you brat, I do." He smiles and licks the abused nipple. "Now, be a good girl and hold onto something."
Logan grips the backs of your thighs and raises your legs high in the air. He slides his hands down and grips your waist. He pistons into you mercilessly, and your moans fill the apartment.
He grunts. “So tight,” he praises. “Fucking perfect little cunt...” He pumps in and out of you harder, faster now, letting himself go.
Your hopeless little whines drive him further. "Fuck.. Logan..." You whimper. Logan raises his hand and slaps your face. Not too hard as to hurt you, but enough to register as punishment for breaking a rule.
He twitches inside you when you moan louder at the slap, and your walls flutter around him. His lips find yours again, biting, kissing you bruisingly. You struggle to keep your mouth shut, as it seems to have formed a more permanent 'O' shape as he fucks you relentlessly.
Your walls contract around him, squeezing him as he sinks deeper inside you, hitting exactly where you need him most. You’re so close, ready to come undone. “Fuck, L-logan,” you whine as he pounds into you. “I’m gonna—” He cuts you off with another slap. You whimper and he leans down to kiss your red cheek.
He feels you contract around him, and he growls. "Come on brat, cum for me. You can do it." You can feel his pace growing faster, his cock pushing deeper, stretching you out as he plunges into you. “You feel so fucking good,” he groans, kissing your pulse point again. “So fucking beautiful.”
It’s all too much, him, his cock, his words. Your skin is on fire, and the friction is absolutely delicious. You’re already so close, just a few steps away from the ledge, and you’re ready to fall. Your pathetic little "uh uh uh's" meld into soft "fu- fu-fuck's" and Logan wraps his hand around your throat.
That move alone sends you careening over the ledge. You scream out his name as he grips the pressure points in your neck making you see stars. Your heavy pants turn to squeaks as you slowly come down from your high.
“That’s it,” he murmurs. “So fucking tight, so fucking sensitive.” His praises are muffled in your ears, the blood roaring over anything else. He slows his pace a bit, allowing you a moment to come down. He rubs your quivering legs, humming soft praises.
Liquid pooled from between your thighs. It took him a moment before he realized you came so hard, that you squirted all over him. He stared at the sight. Your cheeks flush red at the realization of what you have done.
“Did you just-“ Logan whispers, a soft smirk on his lips.
"I am so sorry... I-" Logan cut you off with a rough kiss.
"Don't you dare apologize." He stared into your eyes intently. A new gleam of excitement entered his features. "Think you could do it again?" He chuckled darkly.
“I didn’t know I could do it in the first place…” You whisper softly, trying to steady your breathing. Logan slams into you with that confession, burring his head in the crook of your neck.
“Fuck…” he growled. His chest swelled with pride at the admission. Knowing he was taking you further than you ever had been before was entirely too intoxicating for him. He bit down on your neck, pulling more pathetic little sounds from you. He lifted off of you just enough, so that he could shove your legs down, practically folding you in half.
He resumed his brutal pace, watching as you jiggle underneath him. He takes in every curve, every feature, every sound that escapes you, including the vulgar squelching coming from between the two of you.
He leans down and grabs the back of your neck, forcing you to look at the sight between you.
“You see that princess? See that pretty little mess you’ve made? Such a good girl…” he praises.
Your eyes lock at his impossibly large member penetrating you. Tears prick your eyes as he releases your neck, and guides his hand to your over stimulated bundle of nerves, stroking soft circles. You throw your head back, releasing louder, almost pained moans as he continues to push you.
“Come on baby, I know you can give me another…” He said between pants.
“I-it’s t-to muuuuuuch!” You cry.
“Shh baby I know you have another one in you… just let go for me. I’ve got you.” He lowers himself down again, silencing you with more sound swallowing kisses.
Your hands find his shoulders, digging your nails deep into his skin. He groans and bites your lip, dragging his tongue over the stinging sensation.
You drag your nails down his back, trying to ground yourself from this impossible high he’s got you on. You feel your white hot release coming, and with just a few more thrusts, he’s got you careening over the edge again.
Logan’s fist meets the wall with a loud *thump*. His release came on him so hard from the way you were scratching and sobbing for him, that not only did he cum hard, he punched the wall even harder.
He stills while still inside you, panting loudly. You can feel him twitching inside you, and you can’t help the disappointed whimper that escapes your lips as he slowly pulls out.
“Shh baby.” He leans down and kisses you gently. “Wait here.” You felt Logan get up. It’s not like you could see him. Stars clouded your vision from your most recent orgasm. You couldn’t hear much either honestly, and just as you think you heard him leave, he reenters your room with a warm rag and a glass of water. He places the water on your bedside table. He smiles at the mess on the bed, the mess you both made together. He gently crawls over you, placing gentle kisses up your leg as he softly wipes your swollen cunt. He smiles and hums as your hips buck, your core still entirely overstimulated. He places a soft kiss on your clit, and wipes the rest up.
He kisses your breasts, then your shoulder, and then your lips. If it weren’t for those kisses, you would’ve passed out right there, lulled to sleep by his gentle demeanor after being utterly obliterated.
He brings the cloth to your face, turning it over to make sure he was using a clean side.
“Are you alright?” He asks as he wipes away the tear trails from your cheeks.
“Mhmm…” you respond.
“Ah ah… use your words baby girl.” He strokes your forehead with his thumb.
“M-ok” you manage to mumble. “N-you can stay if- if you want.” Your small, dazed smile makes Logan laugh softly.
“Don’t worry about me, pretty girl. You need to rest.” He strokes your hair and moves some of it out of your face. He loved seeing how cock drunk you were, and the scent... he couldn't get enough of how your entire apartment reeked of sex.
You didn't need much convincing, because you quickly drifted to sleep. Logan smiled and looked up at the hole in your wall. He silently cursed to himself, already pissed he had done the same thing to your living room wall.
The next morning when you woke up, your apartment smelled like paint. You looked around to see you were alone, and your heart sank. You lift your head enough to see a small piece of paper next to the untouched glass of water from the night before. You slowly reach for the letter, eyes straining to focus on the scrawled handwriting.
*Good morning pretty girl. I'm sorry I had to go. I repaired the holes we made in your walls. Call me, if I missed a spot, or... if you wanna make some more. 111-111-1111 -Logan*
⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺ ⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺ ⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺ ⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺ ⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺ ⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺ ⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆
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Girl at the Club
Connie x black reader
You needed the money. A 9-5 wasn’t cutting it anymore, family were infuriating, and you wanted to be able to spoil yourself, so you found the club. One of your homegirls Peick had told you about the club she works at and she thought you’d be a perfect fit, so you went.
You quickly learned the ropes and you began to start racking in cash. You worked the pole beautifully while keeping it classy somehow. It was a packed night at club velvet, there were men and women meeting there just to see some ass shake and to throw some cash.
Connie and some of his friends were here, some came for the wings, and some came for…. Other purposes. It had been your turn to work the pole, you come out in a sleek black two piece and some black heels, captivating the attention of many.
As you worked yourself on the pole, moving your body into an in the air split and a few spirals, you caught his eye. Connie didn’t come empty handed, he was loaded, throwing ones, twenty’s, and hundreds at you. You kept eye contact with him for a little while, the way you were looking at him made his dick throb in his sweats.
He was looking at how beautiful your golden brown skin was, how your body moved, now pretty your face was, he couldn’t help himself. Once you were done you cleaned off the pole and went back to the dressing room.
You were counting some money when one of the managers, Levi, had told you that Connie wanted a private dance from you. You cleaned yourself up a bit, applied some lipgloss and some vanilla perfume, and went to the private room.
He was sitting in the chair. Smoking a blunt and eying you as you walked up. “Hey beautiful, I saw the way you were working that pole…. Show me something mama” and you do. You work your hips, move your body into a way that’s captivating to his eyes, he’s throwing money at you, watching you, admiring you as you show him your talents.
He beckoned you over to him, you went to him and gave him a lap dance. Hips grinding on his lap, his hands roaming your abdomen and hips, him kissing your shoulders… usually the customers weren’t allowed to do this but you let it slide this one time. “You to pretty to be working here…. Too many eyes mami” you shyly smiled at him and softly said “I have to pay bills sir, I gotta do what I gotta do…. You understand”.
He kissed your neck and whispered “you should be at home with your feet up, having someone please you and cater to your every need”. You turned to face him as you moved your hips “it’s not that easy honey…. It takes time” he got so much harder when you called him honey in that sweet tone, it made him want to take that two piece off you and fuck you to the floor like you deserve.
You looked at him and asked “and why are you here hmm… did you just come to get your dick wet?”, he laughed and said “I came here cause my friends wanted me too, but I didn’t expect to find someone like you here…”.
He was looking at your body, he couldn’t help but wonder what type of faces you would make if he had you on your back on his mattress…. Shaking, whining, begging him to give you what you wanted. You were trying to keep your composure but it was so hard when a 6’2 man with tattoos and a buzz cut was eying and touching you like he was.
You could feel your pussy getting wetter by the second, he was doing something to you but you wouldn’t give it up that easily. His dance was over and he asked for your number. “I’m not allowed to give that to you during work hours honey I’m sorry…. You’ll just have to come back and see me”. He hated seeing you leave, but he loved seeing you walk away.
Taglist# @madamechrissy (Got my inspo from her, go check her page out!)
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Why I think Tim Drake finds himself identified with the plot of The Breakfast Club.
(This is a follow up on my previous post about the Batfamily Letterboxd reviews)
I do believe Tim would not only find the film to be boring at first when Steph suggests that the family should watch it during their famous family nights, but he would also find himself unable to accept the emotional wreckage he would just have experienced after finishing it.
Let me explain.
It could be argued that the Batfamily dynamics, most specifically, the siblings ones could be represented by the characters in the movie, as well as their personalities and experiences.
However, I would like to take this a step further and say that each member of The Breakfast Club, the struggles, masks, and both personal and interpersonal relationships represent a stage of what Tim has got to go through in his life. Let’s go through each:
• Claire Standish (The Princess):
Claire comes from a wealthy family and is part of the popular crowd. She is used to being admired but also feels isolated because of the pressures that come with her social status. Underneath, she is insecure and deeply unhappy. She also feels like she is only valued for her looks and status.
Stage> Tim’s pre-Robin life.
Tim came from a wealthy family, but he wasn’t spoiled or arrogant. His parents were often away on business, which left him feeling emotionally neglected. He had money, but not much real connection with others. Making him feel unhappy and unfulfilled.
• Allison Reynolds (The Basket Case):
Allison is an outsider who has no real friends and is used to being ignored. She suffers from extreme loneliness and neglect since her parents completely ignore her. She has no sense of identity and feels invisible. She doesn’t actually have a reason to be in detention, she just showed up because she had nothing better to do. Throughout the movie, Allison opens up to the others and shows a more vulnerable side. Claire gives her a makeover, which symbolizes her desire to be noticed.
Stage> Tim decides to be Robin.
Tim had always been a very intelligent and observant child, regardless of his lack of interaction with others, he could study them quite well. When this trait helps him find who Batman and Nightwing are, and uses that same skill to find them and make himself heard despite this being something he is not used to doing. The mantle of Robin becomes his makeover.
• Brian Johnson (The Brain):
Brian is a top student, likely in advanced classes. He’s an overachiever who is socially awkward and desperate for approval. He wants to fit in but doesn’t know how. His self-worth is entirely tied to his grades and academic success. His parents pressure him to be perfect, and he feels like a failure when he falls short. He was given detention for bringing a flare gun to school after failing shop class, his first real academic failure. This hints at unaliving thoughts, as he implies he considered using the gun on himself. Over the course of the movie, Brian opens up about the intense pressure he faces.
Stage> Tim faces the pressure of being Robin after Jason.
Tim quickly realized the importance and heaviness of the mantle he had been passed down. All of this, mixed with the constant struggle of having to pull Bruce out of the shadows that grief was causing on him, made him feel the need of having to live up to the image of someone he knew the bat had chosen himself. This led him to have an immense lack of self confidence, now needing to prove to Bruce, Dick, and everyone else involved that he was not Jason, nor he wanted to be. He wanted to be better, but into the eyes of a grieving man, he always fell short.
• Andrew Clark (The Athlete):
Andrew’s father pushes him to be the best, and he feels obligated to live up to that expectation. He is confident and friendly but deeply insecure. His biggest fear is disappointing his father, who only values him for his athletic success. Throughout the movie, Andrew realizes that his self-worth shouldn’t come from his father’s approval.
Stage> Being valued for who he is by Batman.
By this point, Tim had faced many challenges as both himself and as Robin. He was not accepted as Robin at first by Bruce, but eventually, he earned his trust with determination and skills. Batman had to push him, in ways that were completely different from the previous Robins. The detective potential, the strategic nature, the methodical approach. Tim was a natural that Bruce was ultimately proud had found his way to him. And Tim learned not to depend on whatever he was similar or not with the past people who’ve had held the mantle before.
• John Bender (The Criminal):
Sarcastic, rebellious, and aggressive on the outside, but vulnerable and deeply hurt underneath. He uses his tough-guy persona as a shield to protect himself.
He hates authority figures because they remind him of his father. He believes he is destined to fail, as he has never been given a chance to succeed. Over the course of the movie, Bender goes from being hostile and defensive to showing his vulnerability. He shares a heartbreaking story about his father burning him with a cigar, which helps the others understand why he acts the way he does. At the end, as he walks across the football field and raises his fist in the air, it symbolizes his defiance but also his newfound sense of hope.
Stage> Red-Robin era, post-Bruce’s alleged death.
After Bruce was presumed dead and Dick had to assume the mantle of Batman for a while, it began one of the most difficult times for Tim. He not only was disregarded by his own family when he firmly believed that Bruce was still alive, but he was left with a sense of betrayal once Dick decided to take Damian Wayne under his wing as his Robin, removing a mantle he had earned through sweat and tears. He rebelled and went solo, beating people to near death in hopes of finding the truth about what he believed has been a lie, and that Bruce would be found.
Tim doesn’t stay in that dark state of mind permanently, but he struggles with it on and off depending on the circumstances. And just like Bender, once he has been able to let himself show vulnerability despite his family’s troubled relationship, he finds himself receiving support from a new found family in the teams he’s led: Young Justice and the Teen Titans.
#Tim Drake appreciation#tim drake#red robin#the breakfast club#timothy drake#timothy wayne#batfam#batman#fandom#headcanon#batman and robin#third robin#young justice#teen titans
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Regardless of being fraternal twins and not identical twins, Adam and Lilith had grown up attached at the hip - but cracks did start to form, the more Adam thought back on it. When Adam came out as bi, Lilith seemed a bit miffed he'd came out first. When Adam was done waiting to start transitioning, Lilith said he hadn't waited like they'd agreed to announce it together. They'd frequently crush on the same person, though Adam was more likely to come away with a date.
Except for one, the one guy Adam had liked the longest and most. Lucifer only had eyes for Lilith, but that'd made sense to Adam, as much as it fucking sucked. They were both in band together, they were in choir, they stuck to each other in their nerdy little clubs. As annoyed as Adam was that his crush liked his sister, he knew why and didn't kick up a fuss.
The problem was, Lilith knew, and when she and Lucifer started dating, suddenly Adam's sister wasn't around anymore. She said she thought it was best if they started to go their own ways, as different as they were. That'd never been a problem when they were little, Adam had thought. It'd led to a massive argument, Adam may have said things to her he regretted, especially when she started crying, but he wasn't cutting her out of his life.
He wasn't even invited to her fucking wedding.
It'd been ages since they'd sat down and spoken, and this wasn't exactly how Adam had pictured it going. With Lucifer there, looking positive and friendly as always, a little nervous, but the man was probably at least half terrier.
"So, we were hoping to at least float the idea by you, let you think about it. You don't have to decide anything, and if you want to say no, we totally understand. But, if you said yes, we'd of course help you out, since it's such a huge ask of you, Adam." Lucifer said, but Adam's ears were glazed over, and he just held eye contact with Lilith, who did not look particularly happy to be there.
"...You want my eggs?" Adam said slowly, reiterating the question. Lucifer faltered slightly, before nodding.
"Lilith and I felt something was missing, and we were talking about having children. Since Lilith can't carry..." Lucifer said, trailing off - Adam could, still had eggs and periods which sucked ass, even on HRT, but he usually controlled that with birth control. "Of course we wouldn't ask you to carry the child, we were just hoping you'd consider donating a few eggs."
Adam leaned back in his seat, looking between them. He didn't have a great history with parenting, not after what happened with Eve and his step kids. It'd left a hurt in his chest that wouldn't go away, and he'd sworn off from ever having his own.
But annoying Lilith was a chance that was hard to pass up. He was pretty sure she'd blink before he did. "So, you'd take my eggs, mix it with your dick sneeze, put it in someone else who would give birth to it?"
Lilith made a face, and mumbled something to herself. Lucifer froze but laughed awkwardly after a moment. "Uh, yeah, essentially!"
"And you can afford all that?" Adam asked, eyebrow raised, arms crossed over his chest. Maybe he should have tried to steal Lucifer from Lilith in the past.
"He made wise investments." Lilith said, one of the only things she'd said to him, flaunting Lucifer's money. Granted, she knew Adam had once thought investing in Digimon cards would be a better pay off than Pokemon, so maybe it was a fair insult.
"Nope," Adam said simply, watching as Lucifer deflated and Lilith let out a short exhale. They'd expected this. "I refuse to donate eggs, but I'll be the surrogate. If you're going to grow a kid with your twinkie filling and my egg, you're going to have to deal with me for the next nine fucking months."
Lilith's face feel in something close to horror, but Lucifer looked like it was Christmas morning. He cheered, wrapping his arms around Lilith and kissing her cheek, clearly still over the moon for her, which Adam did think was kind of sweet - but Lilith was certainly not happy with the news, which Adam figured she wouldn't be.
"This'll be great! It'll be so much better to keep this between family, and we'll be with you every step of it!" Lucifer smiled brightly, practically glowing. "And we'll make sure you're properly rewarded for all of this stress and time, this is a major sacrifice to make for your family that can't have children - thank you so much, Adam."
Adam smiled back. "Course, we're brothers in law, afterall...so, bro, when are you planning on knocking me up? You want to do it old fashion, over the hood of a car or when I'm stuck in a washing machine, or you want to yank your sea cucumber and then shove in the yogurt with a turkey baster and squirt in me. Or, do you want to be a voyeur as a doctor impregnates me?"
Lucifer's face began to fall, and his cheeks began to turn bright red.
Being a surrogate wasn't all bad, Adam thought to himself. Sure, everytime he had to speak to his sister, he wanted to bite Lilith's ear off her head, but there were moments like these ones that brought a smile to his face.
"Do you have a name picked out yet?" The woman behind the counter asked pleasantly enough, but Adam wasn't exactly a pleasant person.
"I'd have to ask my sister what she wants to name it, since it's her child." Adam answered with a grin, hand over his rounded belly. He felt the kid kick under his fingers, it always seemed to be the most active when Adam was actively being a bastard to someone. He liked to think it was laughing in there.
The face the woman made as Adam took his groceries and walked off made everything worth it.
Well, maybe he'd miss it, but Adam didn't want to entertain those thoughts. He was getting paid enough by Lilith and Lucifer to last him a lifetime, just to have the little devilspawn. Plus, after him and Eve fell apart, it's not like he wanted to act like a parent ever again.
It was just a lot of heart ache.
The baby moved again, and Adam couldn't help but clench his fingers over his stomach. He wondered what it would be named, if it would know who he was as it grew up, or if it would see pictures of him and look at it with no recognition.
Adam sat in his car for awhile longer, staring up at the darkening sky.
He'd already signed the agreement, he couldn't back out now, not when half this kid was Lucifer's baby batter. He couldn't just say no, I'm keeping it. Not without getting sued into the streets.
"I hope she doesn't name you something stupid, but I guess that isn't any of my problem." Adam said to himself, blinking his eyes hard to will away any stinging feeling in them, before he pulled out of the parking lot.
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i wasn't thinking straight, i was picking the color for the raincoat and thought neil josten would love it so i got it
#what's wrong with me#someone should take my money away from me#aftg#all for the game#neil josten#i just know he would love it
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at some point it's just like. do they even fucking like the thing they're asking AI to make? "oh we'll just use AI for all the scripts" "we'll just use AI for art" "no worries AI can write this book" "oh, AI could easily design this"
like... it's so clear they've never stood in the middle of an art museum and felt like crying, looking at a piece that somehow cuts into your marrow even though the artist and you are separated by space and time. they've never looked at a poem - once, twice, three times - just because the words feel like a fired gun, something too-close, clanging behind your eyes. they've never gotten to the end of the movie and had to arrive, blinking, back into their body, laughing a little because they were holding their breath without realizing.
"oh AI can mimic style" "AI can mimic emotion" "AI can mimic you and your job is almost gone, kid."
... how do i explain to you - you can make AI that does a perfect job of imitating me. you could disseminate it through the entire world and make so much money, using my works and my ideas and my everything.
and i'd still keep writing.
i don't know there's a word for it. in high school, we become aware that the way we feel about our artform is a cliche - it's like breathing. over and over, artists all feel the same thing. "i write because i need to" and "my music is how i speak" and "i make art because it's either that or i stop existing." it is such a common experience, the violence and immediacy we mean behind it is like breathing to me - comes out like a useless understatement. it's a cliche because we all feel it, not because the experience isn't actually persistent. so many of us have this ... fluttering urgency behind our ribs.
i'm not doing it for the money. for a star on the ground in some city i've never visited. i am doing it because when i was seven i started taking notebooks with me on walks. i am doing it because in second grade i wrote a poem and stood up in front of my whole class to read it out while i shook with nerves. i am doing it because i spent high school scribbling all my feelings down. i am doing it for the 16 year old me and the 18 year old me and the today-me, how we can never put the pen down. you can take me down to a subatomic layer, eviscerate me - and never find the source of it; it is of me. when i was 19 i named this blog inkskinned because i was dramatic and lonely and it felt like the only thing that was actually permanently-true about me was that this is what is inside of me, that the words come up over everything, coat everything, bloom their little twilight arias into every nook and corner and alley
"we're gonna replace you". that is okay. you think that i am writing to fill a space. that someone said JOB OPENING: Writer Needed, and i wrote to answer. you think one raindrop replaces another, and i think they're both just falling. you think art has a place, that is simply arrives on walls when it is needed, that is only ever on demand, perfect, easily requested. you see "audience spending" and "marketability" and "multi-line merch opportunity"
and i see a kid drowning. i am writing to make her a boat. i am writing because what used to be a river raft has long become a fully-rigged ship. i am writing because you can fucking rip this out of my cold dead clammy hands and i will still come back as a ghost and i will still be penning poems about it.
it isn't even love. the word we use the most i think is "passion". devotion, obsession, necessity. my favorite little fact about the magic of artists - "abracadabra" means i create as i speak. we make because it sluices out of us. because we look down and our hands are somehow already busy. because it was the first thing we knew and it is our backbone and heartbreak and everything. because we have given up well-paying jobs and a "real life" and the approval of our parents. we create because - the cliche again. it's like breathing. we create because we must.
you create because you're greedy.
#every time someones like ''AI will replace u" im like. u will have to fucking KILL ME#there is no replacement here bc i am not filling a position. i am just writing#and the writing is what i need to be doing#writeblr#this probably doesn't make sense bc its sooo frustrating i rarely speak it the way i want to#edited for the typo wrote it and then was late to a meeting lol#i love u people who mention my typos genuinely bc i don't always catch them!!!! :) it is doing me a genuine favor!!!#my friend says i should tell you ''thank you beta editors'' but i don't know what that means#i made her promise it isn't a wolf fanfiction thing. so if it IS a wolf thing she is DEAD to me (just kidding i love her)#hey PS PS PS ??? if ur reading this thinking what it's saying is ''i am financially capable of losing this'' ur reading it wrong#i write for free. i always have. i have worked 5-7 jobs at once to make ends meet.#i did not grow up with access or money. i did not grow up with connections or like some kind of excuse#i grew up and worked my fucking ASS OFF. and i STILL!!! wrote!!! on the side!!! because i didn't know how not to!!!#i do not write for money!!!! i write because i fuckken NEED TO#i could be in the fucking desert i could be in the fuckken tundra i could be in total darkness#and i would still be writing pretentious angsty poetry about it#im not in any way saying it's a good thing. i'm not in any way implying that they're NOT tryna kill us#i'm saying. you could take away our jobs and we could go hungry and we could suffer#and from that suffering (if i know us) we'd still fuckin make art.#i would LOVE to be able to make money doing this! i never have been able to. but i don't NEED to. i will find a way to make my life work#even if it means being miserable#but i will not give up this thing. for the whole world.
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just wanted to say that I absolutely LOVE your comic I am so inspired by it and it’s so lovely and I wanna buy the physical books (I’ve never done that before) I just AUGGHHH EVERYTHING ABOUT IT IS SO 💙💙💙
do you allow fanart? And is there anything not allowed? I wanna draw adam and steve so bad 😭
Of course it's allowed! Fanart fanfic fan music fan dubs whatever!
I like to think I'm sort of "building a playground" when I make a story, have fun on it! I made it for you!
In my general opinion, it's not my business what my "fandom" does... It's on you and also me to curate our own spaces! If you're inspired by my work in any way, that's the greatest honor I could imagine and I want you to feel fully free to explore that. If someone is being weird, I know where the block button is and they can keep being weird where I don't have to see it haha
Just don't like... sell it... it's messy legally with webtoon and I'm one person making the story and it's my whole income so the few sales I get are kind of huge for me ;_;
#the way I see it is if I put up a boundary of like 'dont make something that I wouldnt want to see'#all it does is scare the people who respect me into not making anything!#and the people who were never going to respect me anyways were going to make those things regardless#because they didn't respect me. so they wouldnt care if I put that boundary up.#so my opinion is like honestly it's not my business what you do... if you're doing something weird with my story it's not reflecting on me#like youre the one doing the weird thing not me...? so why would I care LOL#I'm pretty good about blocking tags or ignoring the things that make me uncomfortable. which has happened#also like. I'll be honest#if you sold like 3 I also wouldnt care AHGASJGLKGJASLGKJSA#cause idk. I dont generally feel like it's taking away from my business...#idk!!! it's a weird zone#like I need money to live but morally I'm not opposed to other people making art and selling it so idk where to land on that#but uhhh webtoon wouldnt like it if you sold it. so#I'm not going to like go after someone idk...#if I did not need the money to live. I wouldnt care at all and would probably encourage other people selling my stuff#or like their art of my stuff. not my art of my stuff. never do that#thats just regular theft#but webtoon does NOT!!! like that and idk how much they go after stuff like that. I know they went after scanlation sites sob#novaeverse#asks#sorry this is so unclear. my opinions on it are unclear lmao#basically. do whatever.#I can't stop what you are doing and I will not waste the energy trying#all I ask for is some basic respect!#and I dont think I can or should ask for more. so#enjoy! make whatever! it's literally making free art for me AUGASJGLKSAJGALKGJ how could I say no...
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y'know that feeling where you start to enjoy something and then you enjoy it more and more until you realise it's your special interest?
no me neither *sweats in batman comics*
#autistic#actually autistic#adhd#audhd#actually audhd#special interest#autism#help im spending way too much money on my special interest#someone please take my bank account away from me#im an adult i should be buying groceries not comics#bruce wayne#batman#dick grayson#nightwing#jason todd#red hood#tim drake#red robin#robin#dc robin#batman and robin#comics#dc comics#batman is a billionaire he doesn't need my money#i just bought hush and got super excited before i realised it was now a special interest
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4 days post fob concert and am finally feeling post concert depression or whatever this is so bad for me
#someone take my card away from me before i either buy expensive rare merch and or plan a whole trip to see them a second time#bc i miss them :(( so much . this is sick i literally should not fly anywhere to go see them again even if i could AUGHHHHHH#also should not spend an insane amount of money on rare merch just to fill the void. screams and cries i hate having a special interest#sometimes this is sooooo . AUGHHHHHHHH#txt
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It just will forever baffle me how unfair he has been. He kept constantly blaming me for all that was going wrong in his life, he could get upset to the point of wanting to hurt himself or worse over things as little as me disagreeing with his creative ideas or not wanting to listen to something he wanted to share at the moment, he abandoned his friend he knew for two years because he got interested in me too much to give her enough - and then because he convinced himself she didn't care for him anymore.
And I knew, all along, that I was not right for him. I kept telling him to keep reaching out and seek friends that he'd actually like and actually get along with. I kept insisting that he was doing it to himself by clinging to me where clearly he hated me to the point I could've hurt him by as much as setting up boundaries, having different opinions or having limitations as a human being. I told him that that friend he abandoned still cared for him and he could not just decide FOR her. But over and over, he denied everything and begged me to stay, saying how much he wanted to have future together, how I was like a sister he lost a chance to have, how we were supposed to share life experiences together and how I was the only one that felt "real". I kept sticking around despite the abuse, despite how much he was ruining my mental health and my social life (being abused distances you from even close people), all because I could not stand seeing him so hurt and alone. And the last deceit hurt especially bad, because he made me truly believe him. He said something that made me lose my guard, my focus on the fact that I was just a placeholder in his life until he finds someone fitting.
And just like I kept saying, as soon as he got enough money for good life, his mental health improved upon switching meds or something, he met a new friend and reconnected with that exact one he abandoned earlier - he declared me a dead weight on his life that has only been "killing" him and declared that the almost two years he spent with me were just a bad dream he was happy to finally forget.
I knew all along that the best thing I could do for him was to leave him, but I never did. I should have before he stopped caring for me entirely out of blue, because now he didn't even learn anything. He lost nothing of value in his eyes, just a person that "wasted his time". So what if his current friends """fail""" him again? He'll just seek an outlet in new ones, until they prove "useless" and he'll ditch them too, and so on. Some people just can't appreciate someone's personality, they only value people for what they can give to them. Or.. is it just me? At times I am genuinely annoyed when people tell me I am a valuable person and anyone who can't love and appreciate me is an idiot, because on the contrary, in my life all people that despised me and saw me as a waste of their time the most were all high IQ, very well-read and educated, very sophisticated individuals. Clearly, there is a correlation between being very smart and deeming me as human garbage - in a way jealous haters, hypocritical control freaks and callous ableists I've met online never could.
Honestly, sometimes I should decide for someone else. I always knew he hated me and splitting with me was to the better for him, but I let his tears and clinginess force me to feel bad and go back every time. And to doubt that maybe I was the delusional one and could not be sure of someone else's needs. Honestly, guys - when you are given every single indication that you are hated and only kept around out of their fear of loneliness and low self-esteem... it is all there is. It is not a situation where you should listen to your heart, to hope or to give benefit of the doubt. Being abused is something you can only comprehend with mind and knowledge, there is no bigger story and no intricate matters.
Still, I hate how as painfully stupid and naive for my age as I am, I've been able to understand things way more correctly than a much older, much more mature person with high intellect and tons more of life experience. I was right all along, but I hate being right sometimes. And I hate always being discarded as soon as people's lives improve. I hate always being just a placeholder. Apparently, no one whose life is good would ever want to burden themselves with me.
#/vent#personal#I should have left while he'd still delude himself that I was someone important for him#maybe that way he'd take a good look at how he treats people and why he loses them#on the other hand maybe he won't mistreat anyone now that he has money and mental stability#honestly I am just cursed with some sort of cosmic injustice#every single person that harms and mistreats me walks away their merry way thriving and happy#i sticked with the bastard through his worst times and not just when he got stable and nice#yet all I got is accusation of 'wasting his time' and having been ruining his life and getting-#-forgotten like a bad dream#us in Russia believe that true friends are known in times of pain and advercity#that true friend is the one who stays with you through your WORST and not just when you're good#i guess westerners have different ideals. maybe rightfully so. he hated me all along after all.#I guess me wanting to stay with him and help no matter the cost did not matter for him since-#-that was coming from someone that wasn't his taste in people (platonically but still)#if I had someone who stayed with me despite abusing them due to poor mental health and-#-trauma I'd never ever ever just discarded them simply after getting my mental state fixed#I guess I was just a waste of his time because I still showed pain and anger in responce to abuse.#this summer was a mess#he and A that backstabbed me and my friends were the biggest self-esteem wounds on me in years
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I agree; we live in a wildly different public consciousness than the average person. I'll hear about my uncle generating an AI image of his family as the Avengers for Facebook and will say, "that's fun," because I know he's having fun with his family.
But (in response to folks in the notes, not OP) let's not pretend like artists are being unreasonable when we act frustrated or angry. AI memes, fine, whatever, but AI art is not harmless. It's not a topic that artists are removed from and are forcefully inserting ourselves into, we've been unwillingly involved since day one. We know that behind each piece of AI art is a real artist who didn't want this to happen. I have friends whose entire art styles and OCs––fucking OCs––were ripped into a image database, then sold as prompts on AI marketplaces. We have a reason to be mad. Our anger may be counterproductive, but is it apt.
Like it or not, AI art is intrinsically tied to labor politics. It isn't a online-only ideological mini culture war, it's a real problem that's happening in real life to real people.It's just slow enough and quiet enough to not make any big eye-catching waves. It only seems "online-only" because that's where the majority of people have the easiest, most direct contact with the artists who are affected and raising discourse. Just because discourse is happening online doesn't mean it's inconsequential in real life. It doesn't seem real to your average person because art is widely perceived as a "get a real job" hobby, not a viable career that's tied to labor politics or a passion that deserves respect or protection. Take it from an artist who has the great fortune (/s) of attending a tech school. Someone who doesn't know about this and ends up getting blasted will think you're insane. But let's not pretend like getting angry about people fueling an unfair situation that's affecting our livelihoods is insane too.
the thing about ai art is that to most normal, not-overly-online people, its just a little internet gimmick for them to play around with, akin to flash games or funny videos. if you see someone trying it and you come into their inbox telling them they are a horrible person who wants to starve artists, without first explaining the hundred tumblr soundbites and mini culture wars youve immersed yourself in to get to that conclusion, they are probably going to think you are fucking insane
#again i'm responding moreso to folks in the notes rather than op#op is fine#but i'm seeing shit like “online artists think they're an oppressed minority fr”#read amia srinivasan's “the aptness of anger”#i am not referring to people/artists who are being unreasonable and harassing people don't @ me with quotes from them#i'm just seeing a lot of “anger is never productive! civility activitism is the way to go!” comments. is this not the radical left website#like. we've BEEN talking about this for over a year. we've BEEN warning people and educating people. there was an entire STRIKE#I still remember over a year ago when most of tumblr was into AI and argued it was actually#an vital tool for the proletariat to take back#the means of production 🤓 what do you mean it'll take away jobs? that doesn't sound very leftist of you.#glad to see people are STILL arguing that “AI is actually great because copyright laws are evil” in the notes#i don't know how to explain to you that stealing is wrong and consent is important. even in your fictional communist commune#if an artist says “i don't want another party to make money off of my work” regardless of copyright that should be the END OF DISCUSSION#again. i have artist friends whose ocs (who are not copyrighted) were stolen and sold. that is wrong. do you understand? that is unethical#saying “I don't want my personal artwork to be used and reproduced by someone else for profit” does not make you a bad leftist#i'm not even arguing for or against copyright this is just ethics#because let's make one thing very clear. the endgoal of ai from the perspective of the people/companies developing it is not to give people#the tool to make their own art. it is not to allow people to reclaim privatized art#it is to create products that are easier to produce and monetize. that is the endgoal#the ONLY reason ai tools are free right now is because they want your free labor. because your interaction and cooperation directly#helps development. i said it last year and it's already happening now#pretty soon they're gonna start putting monthly subscriptions on all these free ai tools. they want to monetize your creation process#and then sell it.#they're just sneaky enough at playing the long game that you don't realize. any illusions of leftist ideals are only temporary.#do you really honestly truly believe the companies that are quietly partnering with media/art platforms to underhandedly trick#users and artists into giving free labor hidden under obscured settings and complicated opt-outs have YOUR best interests in mind?#anyways. ai is political and real.#reblog#rant#personal
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I want to squeeze the anxiety organ until it fucking pops !!!!
#i know its the stomach but i prefer to imagine it as something else so i can then imagine crushing it with my bare hands like a soda can#making myself damn nervous about the concert and its so far away. like jesus christ#''ohh what if the seats i got are bad'' ''ohh what if the screens arent that big'' shut the fuck up bitch. live and learn#i also PAID FOR THE TICKET OF THE PERSON IM GOING WITH so like. !!!!she cannot judge me!!! she cannot be disappointed by a FREE CONCERT#i need someone to take engrave a nail w the phrase live and learn and hammer it into my damn head fr#i wish i had done a little bit more research about my seats before i bought them but WJATEVER BITCH. STOP THIS#NOTHING CAN BE DONE. MOVE ON!!!#if i have to be nervous like this every night until the concert i will fully pass away. its so far away from now brother my blood pressure#shaking me and shaking me#she's paying for my ticket for a different concert and i dont give a single shit what those seats are like and im SURE she feels the same#but AUGHHHHH#at least i know now that unless my seats are REALLY good ill kill myself over them#so maybe if i ever go to another one (unlikely) ill shell out for the Extra Close seats#not the pit tho. idk if i can handle that#god i am such a mentally unwell animal where is my fucking zookeeper!!!!@#its ok. its ok. i will enjoy the concert or i will die trying and i will be BETTER for having EXPERIENCED it#and i know now to have something constant in my budget for concert tickets bc i don't like to wait#and i know also that i should prioritize the experience over the cost bc itll make me sick regardless (money vs anxiety)#so better to be sick for only a few moments rather than MONTHS and then possibly have ruined the experience for myself#STABBING AND STABBING AND SCREAMING AND PISSING#this is the second of the two me and my coworker are going to so im extra worried that itll be worse than the first but. ITS FINE BITCH#LEAVE IT DROP IT QUIET QUIT IT. FUCK
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Help save Bilal's family!
i want to talk about my friend Bilal @bilal-salah0. for over a year now, Bilal has been living in germany, trying to adjust to his new living situation in a foreign country, learning a new language and working full time.
when the war started, he was far away from home and his family and has been living in daily fear for their lives ever since.
being forced to work long hours and promoting his family’s fundraiser at the same time, he has taken on more responsibility than anyone ever should. still, he managed to raise money for their evacuation fund and helped take care of his family’s daily needs with the money he was making while working.
in a cruel twist of fate, all of this got taken away in an instant. he lost his job and his apartment and even his residence permit. which means he is at danger of deportation from germany that could happen as soon as next week!
i have been in daily contact with Bilal for a while now and connected him with some of my friends in germany. together, we are trying our utmost to make sure he can stay in the country. anyone who knows german bureaucracy knows what kind of hell it is. but we won't give up.
without his job, he was forced to dip into the money of his family’s evacuation fund to cover their daily expenses like food and shelter. this meant he had to raise his goal from €70,000 to €100,000. this was not an easy decision for him to make, he even asked for my advice on whether or not to do it, because he did not want anyone to think he was scamming people.
even in such a desperate situation, Bilal does not want to be seen as someone who would ever take advantage of people's generosity
his family is comprised of 18 members, 10 of them are adults and 8 are children under 16 years old, some of them newborns who were born amidst the chaos of war and displacement.
currently, he is sitting at:
€71,817 / €100,000
donations have been slowing down ever since he reached his original goal. i cannot stress how important it is that they pick back up!
WE ARE RUNNING OUT OF TIME! HE NEEDS TO REACH HIS GOAL BY AUGUST 15TH!
THAT MEANS HE HAS TO RAISE NEARLY 30K IN THE NEXT TEN DAYS. THIS CANT WAIT.
his campaign has been verified and can be found on @/el-shab-hussein’s and @/nabulsi’s list of vetted fundraisers here (#132, line 136) so PLEASE don't hesitate to share and donate.
With such a tight deadline, i cant do this on my own. So i implore you to PLEASE share this wherever you can– on your whatsapp groups, on your discord servers, please share his story on other platforms wherever you have reach! Please share his story wherever you can, so that we can ease this burden from his shoulders.
[ID: a gfm link with a picture of two small children sitting in the sand in front of a cooking pot. they are looking up a the camera, eyes half-closed. the title reads "Donate to Help Evacuate My Family from Gaza to Safety, organized by Bilal salah" End ID]
tagging for reach under the cut, please let me know if you'd like to be removed:
@meaganfoster @briarhips @dirhwangdaseul @mahoushojoe
@schoolhater @pcktknife @sawasawako
@feluka @terroristiraqis @irhabiya @commissions4aid-international @wellwaterhysteria
@deepspaceboytoy @post-brahminism @khanger @kibumkim @neechees
@mangocheesecakes @kyra45-helping-others @7bitter @tortiefrancis
@toiletpotato @fromjannah @vague-humanoid @criptochecca
@aristotels @komsomolka @xinakwans @heritageposts @nibeul
@ot3 @amygdalae @ankle-beez @communistchilchuck @dykesbat
@watermotif @stuckinapril @mavigator @lacecap @yugiohz
@socalgal @chilewithcarnage @ghelgheli @sayruq @northgazaupdates2
@vakarians-babe @wayneradiotv
@psychotic-gerard @mavigator @communistkenobi @socalgal @chilewithcarnage
@ghelgheli @determinate-negation @papasmoke @omegaversereloaded
@xinakwans @givemearmstopraywith @loombreaking @killy @deathlonging
@palms-upturned @blackpearlblast @littlegermanboy @loveaankilaq @sar-soor
@fridgebride @27-moons @tamarrud @familyabolisher @fleshdyk3
@decolonize-solidarity @palipunk @gothhabiba
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part 2 lol
so apparently it's really fucking hard to get into the SAS. and ontop of that I've been getting tiktoks of people going around an army base asking why they joined. most responses were to pay off student loans, bills, school, (someone said there's was 6 years of prison or school and *mental note for idea*), the recruiter lied or spoilt them, barracks bunny.
141 (poly?) x notsobaddasssoldier!reader
and now i can't stop thinking of soldier!reader. who really half-assed their way through everything - only doing the job for the money and to pay off student loans + they had nothing better to do.
who somehow ends up being adopted by Price (kinda like Gaz i guess ???) all because reader happened to be in the right place at the right time and saved Price's ass while managing to complete a mission the Task Force were doing.
and it's not that you saved his ass or completed the mission that makes Price go *this is mine* - it's the fact that afterwards all you can say is-
"this shit is so not worth paying off my student loans."
"oh fuck i forgot to cancel my subscription. fuckk- waste of fucking money"
- all the while a building is burning in front of you but yeah just not at all concerned about what had just happened. so price just *grabs you by the back of your neck and holds you up, claiming you as part of his task force now.*
(lol you probably can't do that irl but this is fiction sooo suck my ass.)
and laswell's just like no... they are very much still green john. way too green. no.
but it's too late. he's already introducing you to the task force. singing your praises and you're just like
"man he promised to pay off my student loans and give me food." basically how ur recruiter got ya ass.
enough said. you get the whole off the books speech, saving the world by doing things others wouldn't like. but u couldn't give a rats ass - you should but nah...
and like... you know you're the rookie... you're still green... but some of the shit 141 do you just...
"so you just gonna kidnap the wife AND the child...? right... kid, you wanna watch bluey? here..."
"and you do this often...? crazy."
but you don't exactly protest. how could you with how much you get paid. you kinda just side-eye and look away when it's geta a lil crazy. *bombastic side-eye*
and the other 141 guys - oh my days. become just as enormed as price and want to start really trying to amplify your skills. but every time, they start explaining how to do things - the best way to go about a situation or how to fight a certain way.
you pull this face. like your top lip pulls back, your eyebrows scrunch together, and there's a slight frown on your lips as they speak. like you look confused/disgusted. but you don't even realise cause-
"why're you pulling that face?" 141
"that's... that's just my focusing face..."
"oh..." 141 feels bad
then when they do take you in feild you're shaking your head no. like you haven't been around that long. what the fuck? now you're bout to infiltrate an enemy base!?!?!
"can i just wait in the car?"
"no." price
"i'm gonna vomit."
"aim at the enemy." ghost
people think that because you're suddenly in this badass task force that surely they're just using you for your assets.
they all think you're the 141 barracks bunny. and maybe you should be pissed or annoyed or grossed out. but all you can do is sigh and pause from the burger price got you, and let out a long exhale.
"fuck... maybe i can just do onlyfans or be a pornstar... shit maybe it's not too late..."
"military is bascially sex work - selling my body..."
"not that different from what i'm doing now. body being used, check. body sore in the strangest places, check."
your tone so empty, blank and nonchalant, but there's a serious look in your eyes that when you grab your phone out to maybe do a little research on how you could do that, your phone is snatched from your hand by one of the guys and they walk out the room without a second look back.
with an annoyed huff, you go back to eating your burger. but suddenly, you turn to the person who genuinely thought you were a barracks bunny.
"hey you think if i be a barracks bunny i get out of missions and shit?"
"...that's not how it works..." rando.
"fuck."
and maybe you try...
like you go to price's office and the guys are already in there, chatting about something that you should really pay attention too but you can't be assed. instead you unashamedly start to speak...
"if i suck ya'll dicks can i get out the mission?"
"no. you still have to join." gaz says amused
"even if you-" *que long sigh from price* "even if you suck our dicks."
"that's fucked up. i should've done porn."
and with the most hurt and broken-hearted look on your face, you leave the office, closing the door with a dramatic sigh. the guys just stare at the door in... confusion, amusement, and maybe arousal if ya'll dig that
idk man just gimmie more soldier!reader who just really ain't the fucked, there for money, lowkey hungry and doesn't know what the fuck is happening. kinda a pet or little sibling energy that the 141 love.
bonus*
"wait so they aren't sucking our dicks?" *soap says getting slapped in the back of the head by ghost
a/n: brain is rottinnggg. i should be doing so much other shit but... cod just consumes my brain 24/7
#my post#x reader#poly 141#poly 141 x reader#john price x reader#kyle gaz garrick#simon ghost riley#kyle garrick x reader#simon riley x reader#johnny mactavish#johnny mactavish x reader#johnny soap mactavish#captain price x reader#captain john price x reader#platonic 141#?#task force x reader#task force 141#platonic!141 x reader#boowrites#cod mwii#mwii#cod#simon riley#ghost x reader#kyle gaz garrick x reader#simon ghost riley x reader#cod mwii imagines
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welcome to my 2nd smau mlist!! ૮꒰ྀི∩´ ᵕ `∩꒱ྀིა
౨ৎ feel free to send an ask to my inbox if u have an idea for a smau (no suggestive prompts for under 18 characters) ౨ৎ
jjk smaus
✿ waiting outside the car for their boner to go down
✿ asking them if they can feel ur 😽 twitch when you sit on them
✿ gun to ur head me or —
✿ posting a thirst trap online that only they can see
✿ telling them you’re ready to try oral
✿ accidentally liking a photo of theirs
✿ telling them ur parents wanna meet them
✿ their reactions to you packing their lunch
✿ them being jealous over ur shitty boyfriend
✿ asking them to join you in the shower
✿ leaving them money after a 1 night stand
✿ calling them bro
✿ their reactions to your weird cravings
✿ sending them ur location bcs they’re taking too long to come over
✿ wearing their clothes
✿ asking to workout with them
✿ when you fall asleep in the middle of sex
✿ asking them to be rougher in bed
✿ recreating a sex scene from a book
✿ when you take a nap and they think you’re ignoring them
✿ asking them how often they jerk off
✿ flashing them and running away
✿ asking them to help you pick out an outfit but the last option is a nude
✿ asking to paint their nails
✿ asking if they’ve ever sent ur nudes to anyone
✿ “i need a hug”
✿ telling them “you have a pretty face, you should let me sit on it”
✿ telling them “you could’ve been nicer to me today”
✿ their reactions to ur teenager telling you to shut up
✿ “hey bitch what’s for dinner”
✿ having a wet dream about them
✿ their reaction to you leaving a toothbrush at their house
✿ when they’re sick and whiny
✿ asking them if they would cheat on you to save your life
✿ txting them “i expect my dinner to be ready be the time i get home
✿ slamming the door really hard prank
✿ telling them a guy friend is gonna fix ur pipes/car
✿ catching them fall on the ring camera
✿ telling them you got in a fight and need them to fight their boyfriend
✿ how they act when you’re sick
✿ them jealous over ur new pet
✿ asking them for help when ur tampon string breaks
✿ asking them what the weirdest thing they stuck their dick in is
✿ when you reject their cooking
✿ them obsessed with ur pet
✿ asking them if they’d help you hide a body
✿ going into labor while they’re at work
✿ asking them what size condoms to get
✿ them texting you after you die
✿ asking if they’d suck dick to save their life
✿ putting a dirty note in their lunch
✿ when they fall asleep right after sex
✿ telling them u wanna try deepthroating for the first time
✿ asking them to say ur name while they do pushups
✿ them asking “what did i do to deserve you?”
✿ asking what their rice purity score is
✿ sending them an ultrasound to tell them you’re pregnant
✿ asking them if you can take control in bed
✿ not saying i love you back prank
✿ asking what they want for your anniversary
✿ asking if they know where ur phone is when ur on it
✿ putting them on a sex ban
✿ telling them ur not wearing any panties in public
✿ showing off ur new nails by cupping ur tits
✿ doing their makeup while they sleep
✿ “hey handsome/beautiful, those tits sure look heavy…”
✿ jumping out of a car in the middle of an argument
✿ telling them you’re nervous for your first date
✿ wearing pheromone perfume around them
✿ them watching you though the house cameras
✿ telling them no to sex because you haven’t shaved
✿ “I wish you lasted half as long as it takes you to text me back”
✿ when you laugh too hard at someone else’s joke
✿ the jjk characters as ur sugar daddy/mommy
✿ period madness
✿ asking if they’ve tried their own cum
✿ when you’re their sugar mommy
✿ asking to tie a bow around their bicep
✿ when they check your location and see you’re in another country
✿ when you give a creep their number instead of yours
✿ telling them they have grey hairs
✿ asking them to chase you with a ghost face costume on
✿ asking them if you can take sex slow
✿ asking if they can put you as their emergency contact
✿ seeing them across the room with a hard-on
✿ asking how they feel about you starting an onlyfans
✿ watching you perform
✿ telling them you’re going to bed without panties
✿ sending a video of your baby kicking
✿ go ahead and leave them drawls at the door
✿ asking them to massage your boobs
✿ when they get caught taking pervy pics of you
✿ accidentally messaging them while talking about them
✿ when they finish too quick
✿ surprising them with gifts
✿ doing silly stuff to them in their sleep
✿ asking if they miss you right after they left
✿ asking if they’ve ever gotten off to the thought of you before you were together
✿ asking them to do a matching halloween costume
✿ “hey short king”
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tiktok reader universe
contains mentions of sexual assault. cisfem reader.
.
There's still times when Bakugo can tell your mind wanders during sex. The focus drains from your eyes, your grip goes limp, and your smile slips just a bit. You always come back to him if he says something, but... sometimes he lets it happen, lets you drift away. Maybe the distance is needed.
Even after all this time, you still never sleep over after sex. Tonight, you're a bit more impatient than usual, fixing your hair and wiping your brow right after he pulls away.
"I was offered a job today," you say casually.
"Yeah?" Bakugo loops an arm around the empty pillow that could be yours, if only you'd lean back into it. "With who?"
Instead, he's left to study the curve of your spine as you throw your legs over the side of the bed. He loves the story your body tells, with its scars and marks. Even the acne pocks are a reminder you were once just a teenager, just like he was. His own scars have puckered with age, still the same raging pink they were when they first healed.
"Someone with way too much money-" you say. -"who likes what I've done for your image and thinks I can fix theirs."
"And can you?"
You shoot him a grin from over your shoulder. "Is that even a question?"
Truthfully, Bakugo thinks you could do anything if you wanted to. You could lean over and rip his heart from his chest with just your fucking teeth-- and you'd make it look easy. He'd maybe even thank you. He'd definitely let it happen again.
Bakugo gives up on luring you back. "Well, when do you start?"
Your head tilts.
"I don't," you say."I didn't take the job."
Bakugo sits up straighter.
"I didn't want to leave you."
The statement sits warm in his chest, then quickly cools.
"Well, maybe you should have."
That makes you turn. You cock your head the other way, expression neutral, but still gracing him with a closed lip grin. The stare lasts for a long while before you crawl back under the covers and return to his side. Your lips find the side of his neck and your hands grip back to him, hot, heavy, breathless in that way you think he likes. A hum builds in your throat, a rolling, performative sound.
"Pull your cock out," you demand, right into the shell of his ear. "If this is the last time, I want another round."
"What?"
He doesn't have time to react before you're gripping his half hard cock, jerking it up gently. It's still wet with you and buzzing with sensitivity, so much so that he can't help but enjoy it, enjoy you-
"If you're about to break up with me, I want to at least cum one more time."
He loses the remnants of his erection.
"That's not what I fucking meant." Bakugo tries to meet your eye, but you just keep kissing at him, gripping at him. "Just-- stop stroking my cock for a second and be fucking serious."
You freeze, but keep your hand on him.
"I don't wanna work together," Bakugo reaches for your hand. The free one. "I just want to date."
You don't respond.
"I want to take you places and have you meet my parents and-"
God. this is so unlike him. When did he lose his teeth? Did you pull them straight from his skull and hang them from your neck like jewels?
"I want you to sleep over." He means it. "Like a real fucking couple."
The ceiling fan hums with an uneven hitch, catching in the same spot each time. It's an easy fix, but he's been ignoring it for so long that it's almost blended into the tapestry of his home. Click-click-click-click-click: now it's deafening, overwhelming the silence you're choosing to sit in. Just as he's about to open his mouth, you look away from his body and meet his eye. There's no sharp edge to your eyes.
"'tsuki."
You say it like a mother about to comfort a child, with a rounded curve to your tone that he's never heard before. You're trying to dull the blow, but it does nothing. It's a fucking knife to the gut.
"I'm serious. I'm really serious." He points with his whole arm towards the bathroom. "I've had a fucking toothbrush ready for you for weeks now. It's right there, in the fucking package."
You withdraw, smile long gone. The air between you two, trapped under the covers, goes cold.
"The girlfriend thing." You are unrecognizable without your Mona Lisa grin and he's obsessed with it. He wants to consume these rare moments, chew on them until he's full of you and only you, despite how it makes his stomach turn. "It was never real. You know that."
You cover your bare tits with one arm, but leave your pussy exposed. It feels like a reflex more than an actual concern.
"I'm not meant to be a girlfriend. You don't want me as a girlfriend."
Bakugo's quick to close the distance between you, but he pauses when you full body flinch. Your quirk activates for a moment - you glitter out of existence and then immediately back in- like it's unwittingly done. It's another incredibly un-you moment, but one that he doesn't want to drink in.
"I do." He keeps his voice as delicate as he can. "I do. I fucking do."
"I don't know how to do the things you need. I don't know how to be a girlfriend," you say. The corners of your smile return and he can see the wall coming back up. The arch of your back, the way your hand suddenly cups your tit: you turn yourself into someone else, someone's who's happy to be here, in an instant. "I can make myself girlfriend shaped. I can open my mouth and let you fuck it. I can pose for a picture. I can make your friends jealous."
Oh, and that distant look comes back to your face. The dilation of your eye is just... wrong, even as you smile.
"But I'm just something that's girlfriend shaped," you say. "I'm an illusion, a creature, a tool, a hole-"
"Don't ever say that shit again."
It rips out of him too roughly. "A hole? That's-- why would you say that?"
It all seems to hit you slowly, as if you're processing your own words. Like it never occured to you that you were saying something foul.
"Because-" you try to explain yourself.
"You're just a girl," Bakugo doesn't let you finish the thought. He can't. Not when you're above him like that, so guarded and yet so vulnerable, neither predator nor prey. "I hate to break your fucking illusion or whatever, but you aren't this fucking lumbering beast or huntress or, or, or, I dunno, whatever the commission has tricked you into believing."
He tries to meet your eye, but you're ducking away from it.
"You're just a girl." He lets his hands fall back to his lap. The pinky that doesn't work twitches, kicking with it's old muscle memory. The scar tissue itches under it's own tautness. "Underneath it all. You're just a girl."
The mattress creaks under your weight as you shift back. Now, your eyes are incredibly focused, almost pinpricks. You watch him with an unreadable expression, one slowly inching more towards horror with every moment.
"You think I can't see you, but I can." Bakugo stays where he is. "And I think you want to be seen."
Everything moves slowly. You blink a couple times, with this meek nod, swallowing thickly as you listen. Then, you get off of the bed and head towards the door. All of your clothes are still scattered on the bedroom floor, your panties at the foot of the bed.
"Wait." Bakugo scrambles to get to his feet. "Don't- fucking wait."
He says your name, once, twice, three times, and gets no response. Panic and regret swirl in his skull, so violent he almost goes lightheaded. By the time he reaches the hall, you're gone, and he thinks you've activated your quirk to escape him. It's the nightmare he's always had around you, the one where you disappear into the night the second he gets too close.
And then the bathroom light flicks on. With a careful trepidation, Bakugo inches down towards the door, afraid the break the illusion. Maybe, if he moves too fast, you'll really scatter off into the night, a deer under his headlights.
But when he slides into the frame, you're just standing there, holding a familiar little tube.
"This it?" You hold the package in your hand. "My toothbrush?"
"Yeah."
With your thumbs, you crack into the packaging and carefully peel the toothbrush out. You run the head under the faucet, then turn it off.
"Toothpaste?"
Bakugo pulls out the top drawer. With a sullen nod, you take the toothpaste and unscrew the top. Bakugo watches you, both of you completely naked, both of you completely silent. It surprises him how unsexual it feels to be here, postcoital, still sweaty, watching you brush your teeth. After the moment settles, he steps over and grabs his own brush.
You're just a girl, he thinks as he brushes his teeth next to you. He likes that you're just a girl next to him.
The both of you finish up, then you silently pad back to the room. Bakugo follows, a healthy distance, but close enough the he watches you shrug on his sweatshirt before dipping under the covers. Your head rests on your pillow.
Bakugo finds his space on the other side of the bed and you lay there, in the dim overhead lighting.
"It's hard for me," you say.
"Sleeping?"
"Yeah."
Bakugo turns on to his side and almost reaches out. Almost. Instead, he goes back and turns off the light. When he returns, you're nothing but a dark lump beside him.
"That's okay," he says, "You can sleep however the hell you want."
Your silhouette stays still.
"Sometimes I wake up crying," you say. "Or kicking, or just remembering something I shouldn't."
"Remembering what?"
The click of the fan overtakes everything again as you lay there, pulling in even breaths. A moment passes, then another and another. You're silent for too long, long enough that he thinks you've fallen asleep. Just as he's about to give up, you sigh out a winding breath.
"He was a hero," you whisper. "I felt special when he paid attention to me."
A chill he can't place creeps up his spine. He wants to ask what that means, why you're telling him this, but nothing comes out when he opens his mouth. He has to swallow, then cleae his throat.
"Did-?" His voice crackles. "Did someone hurt you?"
Again, you're silent.
"Who?" This time, when you don't respond, he presses. "Fucking who?"
"Someone who retired a long, long time ago."
"Give me a name and I'll fucking-"
"Katsuki."
"Someone raped you."
He had to say it out loud and dispel the mystery behind it. It's selfish, brash, but he needed it- just as he needs this hand around you, holding, cradling-
"That's what happens when you're just a girl." You clutch at his forearm with a want that isn't present in your voice. "People hurt you."
The bite of your nails surprises him.
"It's safer to be something else."
It's his turn to be quiet.
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