#someone save that couch!!

[dnpbeats]

we’re so caught up on the hand drama I think we need to be focusing on the couch cushions in the background bc wtf!

we can see a full photo of the couch here (from sep 7th 2021 at the latest):

very normal looking couch! we see it again in phil's bday tweet to dan (according to phil this pic was taken between June 2022 and June 2023):

again very normal looking from what we can see. but now!! this is what the poor couch fucking looks like!!!!

these men have massacred the pillows/cushions enough (à la sofa crease) in the past year and a half that the covers don’t go properly over the pillows anymore and it just looks Like That 😭 they need to be stopped

[rubenesque-as-fuck]

Anyway I got notified that I'll be getting a nice $$ bonus from work today and I wish that I could celebrate with someone in a way that didn't just feel like obnoxious bragging. Like beyond the financial aspect, it's just nice to be recognized for good work and I actually feel... good?? about this job??

But it feels so silly to say I want to celebrate when I just got back from what felt like my first real vacation in a very long time and am doing cool comic con stuff this weekend and am scheduled for a new tattoo next weekend. I am already doing lots of things to try to make myself feel good! It feels selfish to want more!

But I guess even with all of that, there's just still a hunger for external validation from trusted sources. Will I ever grow out of wanting someone to be proud of me?

[im-so-tired-i-want-a-nap]

Genderbent Marauders having a sleepover

Even though they live together

[carefulfears]

a lot of these fans are scully hardcore fans who call mulder an asshole for fucking someone while scully is abducted and in danger and i’m like maybe let him have the one thing that makes him forget all this even for a split second and makes him stop the self flagellation for a moment ?? you know..

tbh i feel like kristen was kind of more an indulgence into self-hatred (and a sort of feeling of betrayal?) than anything else but i totally get what you’re saying anon and you’re so right like…omg…let me not speak…

[spacexcowgirl]

laying down on the shower floor did not cure my hangover btw

[humanransome-note]

My weekend was very productive!

Got a proper cleaner for the porch, which has black algae and is very much a slipping hazard in the rain, went to Home Depot and got a new hose and some concrete stepping stones. Dropped off 7 boxes of various sizes (all larger than a shoe box) at a charity shop, they’d been sitting in the hallway for a month at that point.

Then today, I moved some furniture and cleared up some space so the pest control guy has room to work on Wednesday.

Tomorrow I need to scrub the floor that was under the furniture, because the furniture was raised, and there have been 5 different cats in this house, so ancient hairballs have been discovered.

Now, the question is. Has this wave of activity been facilitated because the pest guy comes on Wednesday, and the looming deadline tops off my meds with extra adrenaline and I actually need a stronger dose/prescription on the regular?

Or, do I just have so much decision making anxiety that I spend most of my days in a web of long term decision paralysis, because I constantly feel like whatever choice I make in regards to my life will be massive and irreversible, so playing farming/management sims soothes and distracts me. But having clear cut goals with obviously known ends I can handle.

Or both!

Call in now to vote!!!

[a-hearts-a-heavy-burden]

If I don't find an apartment soon I'm going to go fucking feral and EAT the government

[daughterofsarenrae]

if i put my noise cancelling headphones in i cant hear robin getting into things he's not supposed to be getting into, so really it's like he's not even doing that. he is being so good and playing in the least destructive way possible <3 what an angel <3 he's never done anything wrong in his life <3

[agayconcept]

.

[beskad]

dude some of these caleb hammer videos are just fucking mean. like yeah, sure, maybe people are managing their money poorly but you cannot budget your way out of poverty. telling people "you need to get a second job and work at least 60 hours a week" as the only "solution" is fucking gross

[olive-riggzey]

In honor of me waking up this morning with a fever, I would like for anyone that sees this post to tell me about the most ridiculous and absurd-sounding home remedies that y'all have ever come across (regardless of if you've actually tried them).

But if you have tried one... Please add whether or not it actually worked

[insanefemme]

I bought a new couch

Not great, not terrible. Considering the price, comfy enough.

[halteinfachmaldeinefresse]

"Ich kann aber besser schlafen wenn ich weiß das dir nichts passiert"

[lazya1]

Only being suffocated by farts right now would really help my mind unfocus on my sad thoughts

You can say kinks are just about sex stuff, but it's more like a drug, or a way to scape from the bad feelings and shitty reality

I just want a huge big dirty gassy ass to distract me from the truth that I'm a loser and that's all

I don't wanna sex, I don't wanna be horny, I just wanna spend so much time under someone's ass that will forget who I am and everything that I'm feeling

I just wanna be a couch, because couches don't think, don't feel, don't hurt, couches just need to support the pressure of some dirty asses, and take all of their farts without complaining, because couches don't have mind or heart or soul... A couch is just a couch.

[demetriandelibinaryboyfriends]

Demetri carrying Hawk to safety after he's partied a little too hard be like

[readwritealldayallnight]

Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley, who from the moment he laid eyes on you, has only ever referred to you as his wife

You, this sweet little thing, running through the halls on base one day when you turn a corner and nearly run headfirst into the Lieutenant, who’s walking alongside Soap

“Oh! Sorry about that, sir.” You told him, never slowing down in your hurried pace as you snuck around his large frame and continued down towards whatever you were evidently late for

The only reason his gaze had followed your retreating form, was that unlike everyone else, you had met in his eyes when you spoke, even smiled warmly up at him

That one smile and he was done for

“Who was tha’?” The sergeant had questioned, seeing Ghost’s attention still fixated on you.

“Think that was my wife.”

“Yer what?!”

Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley, who makes it a point to let everyone know that you are in fact his wife

Well, everyone apart from you apparently

He would certainly never abuse his position as a Lieutenant, but some new recruit had the audacity to whistle at you as you walked by? Well 100 laps around the base don’t exactly run themselves

Another soldier saved you a seat next to him in a briefing? He can enjoy scrubbing toilet seats for the next week in that case

Someone actually had the bollocks to ask you for your phone number? Perfect, he needed a volunteer for demonstrating hand to hand combat to the recruits, medics on standby of course

By the time he properly introduces himself to you for the first time, it’s understood by everyone else around that you are, for all intents and purposes, Mrs Riley

Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley, who listens to you tell him your name in a voice that resembles music to his ears, hardly bothering to remember your last name, seeing as it’ll be changing soon enough anyway

“You can call me anythin’ you want, love.” His deep, gravelly voice had sent shivers down your spine, cheeky smirk widening beneath his mask. “So long as you call me, that is.”

By the end of your first date, (you were sitting alone in the dining hall and he wordlessly joined you what do you mean this isn’t a date) he’s wondering if you’ll insist on a ceremony or if he can sweep you away to the nearest courthouse and make this official, slipping a ring onto you finger and his cock into you

You had laughed when he put his number into your phone and named himself ‘Husband’, certain that the man was only messing with you, some kind of hazing that you apparently weren’t aware Lieutenants played on the new communications hire, but it was only fair seeing as he’d saved your contact under ‘Wife’

Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley, who is over the moon every time you play along, even if he knows you believe you’re only playing

“Ach, thanks Lt. Just what I needed.” Soap said, seeing Ghost’s approaching form enter the common room, holding a steaming cup of tea in each hand

“S’for my wife. Get your own.” The older man gruffly replied, sliding the mug onto the side table next to where you’re curled up on the couch, reading a book

“Aw, thank you honey.” You giggled, smiling up as him with an expression he thinks would taste even sweeter than honey if he were to run his tongue across your upturned lips

“Happy wife, happy life, sergeant.” Ghost shrugged, ignoring the other man’s pout, landing next to you and reaching an arm behind you across the back of the couch

“God, maybe I really should keep you.” You’d laughed, reaching a leg out to dig your socked toes into his muscled thigh, teasing him

Grasping your foot into his large, strong hands, he began massaging it, uncaring that you were only two of the many people in the common room, not when you looked at him like that, smiling together as though you truly were nothing more than a married couple

Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley, who surprised you one day, insisting he needed your help with something crucial off base, and drove you to a local shopping outlet to look at none other than dresses

“Is there some sort of party happening?” You’d questioned, confused out of your mind

“Suppose you could consider it a party.” He’d answered, leading you through the many racks of dresses, you noticed were all, very conveniently, white

“Now while you’re lookin’ through dress sizes,” he’d added, taking your left hand in both of his. “You know your ring size? Got my own shoppin’ to do ‘round here.”

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