#someone pointed them being on the opposite sides for the healing of each

[freyjas-musings]

I often see posts on who would win the "blood duel" between Lucien and Azriel and then see some eluciens and some elriels cat fight because you know.... boredom

It got me thinking and here are a few points and my thoughts on the "blood duel"

First and foremost nobody knows the parameters of said duel , so we cannot really compare notes and see who would actually win. They each come with a different skill set so please calm your hormones.

Note to Eluciens - the whole Lucien will come into his full power so he will be.... no stop.... Az isn't Cass , Rhys couldn't do shit to Azriel's shield in the high lords meeting... so just ✋️ stop. If it's only brute strength and magic Az has the upper hand , deal with it.

Now , we are talking about comparing who is more powerful. For 2 groups whose general anthem is strength comes in different forms ... Brute strength isn't the only form of strength ..... its shameful that when it comes to Az and Lucien their only comparison is based on brute strength. SHAME SHAME SMH.

It pains me as an Az stan but here is the truth the minute Az agreed to "defeat" Lucien in a fight , he lost . He agreed to engage in violence over someone who detests violence ? See , how he just proved he isn't right for said person right there ?

If Canon info is anything to go by, Lucien will not even invoke the blood duel. It's not because he is a coward ... its the opposite it's because he is a stronger, better male, one who would respect what Elain wants and walk away. So sorry, Lucien in this case is definitely the stronger male and the bigger male .... and given his strength in not resorting to violence makes him automatically compatible with his mate.

Now, about Azriel or Lucien needing to be humbled .... neither need to be humbled, you see their problem isn't with each other so just chill you guys . They each need to have their own healing and growth. You idiots need to stop. People like me love both of them and would love to be in a sandwich situation there ... if I were to pick it would helion and Eris but I will take the other as well. The only form of humbling I will expect is Lucien saving Azriel's life in some situation and given Azriel has gotten hurt in every single book he has appeared that's a big possibility. See , how it was more positive and doesn't change who Lucien is as a character or how it's not to make Az look smaller or weaker .... some of you all need to touch grass taking fictional situations that personally.

Azriel resorting to violence isn't new or unique , we saw that with Mor as well . His anger issues are a big part of the character's description, so growth and healing for Azriel would be more about not resorting to rage and violence. That will be one of the things that his story will most likely to deal with. I look forward to his icy rage thawing because I love him enough to want that for him. To want to see him give up on that ice in his veins.

There is a reason why Gwyn was written the way she was , she was written to be compatible with Azriel . Ultimately, that is what matters each of these characters finding healing and happiness and being with someone who is compatible with them , someone who would bring out the best in them.

Just because one side is rage baiting you, it doesn't mean you get down to their level and try resorting to petty posts spewing poison. If it is wrong to compare Gwyn and Elain (and it is ), it's just as wrong to compare Lucien and Az ... It's mighty sexist of people to think it isn't.

[shynetyme06]

P. Paperjam—

This one is gonna be long but I can tell you know exactly what you've signed up for

First impression: I thought he was an annoying baby because of reasons you can probably guess. I mostly tolerated his presence in the videos I watched because I really liked errorink when I first joined the fandom, so he was just "kid that was there sometimes"

Impression now: HE IS EVERYTHING TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Fr my favorite character of all time✨ Back when I was exclusively looking at utmv content on youtube, I came across this video, and it was my first ever look at pj not being that annoying baby, which dominoed into me trying to find more about this jerk of a character, because omg this is what's actually canon?? which led me here :3 genuinely obsessed with their story, and by now my opinion of errorink literally traded with them lmao. Those dad guys are cool but they're always in the background of the true star forreal

Favorite moment: this

Idea for a story: I have way too many of these........ But I've been seeing ppl be more broad with this answer so I will too: I like when people acknowledge how garbage she's doing mentally. She didn't just spawn and start acting like an asshole to everyone, a hard childhood shaped who she is now and so the bitterness just makes sense (people tend to forget/not know/acknowledge that she was actually shown to be a pretty chill, soft spoken kid. years of neglect is what pushed her to leave) This next part isn't like, a rule for anyone lmao. but this question is for my idea and what my idea is, is that most if not every single one of my pj variants have got parental issues (even if a lot smaller in some cases) because said issues are a staple for this guy atp (to meeee)

Unpopular opinion: I think the pj and fresh dynamic can be fun without shipping or the uncle fresh interpretation. They're both grown and get into shenanigans (also I think it's funny if pj initially just hung around the guy because he's literally walking error repellent, and since fresh is unable to posses pj the strategy just kinda became "hmm having a friend makes me look more normal, I can live with this")

Favorite relationship: omnipj forever and always 💜🩷I used to go through their ship tag like every day when I discovered them I swear, they are genuinely the cutest thing ever to me. They used to be my true otp, (fr never seriously considered shipping either of them with another person) but thenn I met a certain someone and got converted lmao. Now I've got 2 worlds featuring the ship of pj x lux (including a shared au with the aforementioned someone, hi tobi💜) And no matter if it's just one of them or both, I love seeing the softer side of pj's personality that had been buried for so long resurfacing again around the people she loves <33333 And part 2 of this answer because nearly every dynamic with pj intrigues me like crazy: ink man. that freaking guyyYYYYYY THEY MAKE ME SAD. going back to an earlier point, pj didn't just come out hating them. they tried and tried and tried to have a relationship, and we know how that ended. My interpretations of them rarely get to the point of pj running away and being forgotten, but there's always this.. disconnect, yknow? (I am a huge fan of good dad ink guys I just tend to douse their relationship with pj in a little flame before they get to the healing part🙏) (And bonus since we're on the topic of parents, the fact that pj still wanted to on some level appeal to even error after the things he's done to them is absolutely tragic, and all this put together really adds to my reading of pj as a character being one who believes in the idea of having to work to deserve to be respected/cared for) Uhhh part 3 I promise this one is shorter: Palette and pj are the siblings ever to me. I really like sibling dynamics that are adult/teen + kid, (ik palette is canonically an adult now just let me have this) plus they're opposites in a ton more ways and play off of each other really well. I believe that pj was not happy in the slightest about being an older sibling to him in the beginning, but they always grow to love each other <3

Favorite headcanon: I don't think I have a favorite tbh, but here's one that applies to every pj I've written so far: they are farsighted, but refuse to get/wear glasses all the time because "it's not that bad"

ask game

[roseofbabboo]

Seeing people yell and scream about zutara never makes sense to me because disregarding compatibility between characters in a ship just because you don't like it is almost disrespectful to the character itself. Separately, the ships do make sense in some fashion.

Katara is a complex, intelligent, feminist character who does not sacrifice her emotions for her strength. Inequality ultimately frustrates her to the point of risking herself and the overall mission of bringing the Avatar to take down Ozai to become a temporary vigilante because she cannot stand by and let people be mistreated. Her emotions do not hinder her ability to fight or remain strong in planning, healing, or battling. I would in fact argue that the emotional side she holds dearly makes her even stronger. Between learning bloodbending (a skill she swore she wouldn't use and later used due to her rage for avenging her mother) and nurturing the entire group through the desert without knowing if they would survive, Katara's emotional control is insane.

Aang is a talented child who had to speed through his grief of losing his people and culture while having to master elements within 1/10th of a timespan that his predecessors have been required to in order to stop the world from ending. The very thing he feared the most of having to hurry and grow up became a reality to an unbelievable extent. He's had to build an entirely new life and grapple with the changes of what is now history, all while planning how to make the world a better place without sacrificing his values. Growing up so quickly without the original support system that once existed and plotting the demise of a complete stranger takes a toll on someone who hasn't even been consciously alive for that long. The world is no longer built for airbenders, having been killed off for over a century, and to somehow hold those customs and practices to the point where they can be carried onto the next generation takes skill.

Zuko is a character who had to earn his talent. He never started out being good at things, he was never written as a prodigy who was different than all the other kids because of how 'good' he was at any activity. His greatest 'weakness' according to his family is how much he cares and shows it, before his father disfigured him for standing up for the soldiers being sacrificed. All he's ever ached for is to be a part of his own family and take his place on the throne, and he's willing to hunt down what is essentially a god to the world of ATLA in order to get those results. Not only does he capture him a multitude of times through hard work, dedication, and intense training (albeit, he did not succeed at keeping Aang captured), but Zuko ends up battling that ability to care, and has to choose between having the approval of his family and nation, and doing what's right. To have a character who turns a full 180 with his morals and ethics, and have him work for it tooth and nail... it's no wonder he's as angsty and emotional as he is.

Aang and Katara are most certainly a pair that can make sense, they nurture one another and believe in the good of the world. They have similar interests, they share a similar sense of humor, they've built up a slow burning chemistry for months and over time they became attached at the hip. Katara teaches Aang a lot about himself, he grows as a character when she is in the mix. To have an immediate support when he thaws from the ice is a blessing for Aang, and in having that support, the two can share their ethics and beliefs to bring forth a new generation of airbenders.

Katara and Zuko, however, have immediate chemistry without the slow burn. Their opposite elements make for dynamic growth through combat. Neither of them start out as great benders, they had to earn their fighting styles and talents. The loss of people they love brings them together despite the different upbringings, putting a new perspective of the war into each of their lives. In the catacombs, with barely two minutes of dialogue, there's a magnetic sense that the two understand each other, and that the care they display for others is similar despite being on two opposite ends of a spectrum. Katara learns that not all firebenders are monsters that only seek to eliminate, Zuko learns that the goodness that he's fought against in order to gain approval is his true calling. Their growth together while being opposite personalities has potential to allow both parties to bring peace for the world into fruition without losing pieces of themselves.

Immediately dismissing either ship as being unhealthy or toxic without acknowledging that there is a foundation in each feels like it doesn't need to be addressed, but here we are.

I personally adore zutara, but I won't come for someone's head if they don't??? Grow up???

[cringesatan]

thoughts on towa and madarame's relationship and "likeliness", victimhood and slow damage's theme (currently at 60 hours of gameplay, about to finish madarame's route)

so madarame keeps saying he and towa are "the same", and sure, they somewhat match each other's need and viewpoint on violence, but i wouldn't say they're the same. in fact, it seems like he and towa are the exact opposite of each other, in fact. what they have in common - operating on instinct, the need for violence - both takes them and comes from very different places. towa's need for violence comes from a place of deep self hatred, and to anyone who has experienced that level of self hatred - especially one drive from sexual trauma - knows how deeply ingrained it gets and how it turns you so twisted you start experiencing the self hatred as a good thing. we see it when he gets hurt, and we see it during sex, towa feels good and gets off on being treated like scum, of being hurt, of being abused. its a sense of deserving, almost, like a "reward", in a way. euphoria, as much as it is an artistic movement, is also an elaborated excuse for towa to receive the punishment-reward he deeply feels like he deserves, its a way to experience the root of his trauma, over and over again: being an outlet for someone else, an object of pleasure, not necessarily sexual, as rape is not necessarily sexual, but of power, of desire, of the need for control, and for indulging. towa used to live on edge, back in his mafia days, his traumatic episode was never really over until the fight that killed his brother. once he adjusted to a somewhat happy, comfortable life, that's when he started to "heal", in a sense, but let a traumatized person heal on their own and watch them incessantly try to relive their trauma, over and over, am i right?

a lot of times traumatized people are drawn to their trauma, and towa, of course, much rather say he has a taste for violence, rather than admit he is a deeply traumatized individual. slow damage is, at its core, a read on the many facets of victimhood.

on the other side of the spectrum of victimhood, dare i say on the complete opposite side, we have madarame. madarame wants violence because inflicting violence is all he ever knew. it solved all his problems, and violence was, too, the root of all his problems. madarame is perpetually stuck in a cycle of violence, and he feels entitled to inflicting it as much as he feels obligated to. he and towa both romanticize their issues so they can ignore and deny the fact that they are, too, victims. madarame couldn't possibly be a victim, ever, if he is always "in control", right? if he is the one punching, if he is the one going after the fight, if he is the one winning the fight, he must always be the perpetrator, never the victim, never again. if he is calm and composed, if he doesn't give way for his own thoughts to get under his skin, then it doesn't bother him. it is the same for towa - when he says he is attracted to violence, when he convinces himself he enjoys the pain, he enjoys the abuse, when he seeks it out himself, then it isn't that he's a victim, it's that he's getting what he wants. he takes control by convincing himself the abuse is what he always wanted, like a kid who loses their toy and says "i didn't want it, anyway". towa and madarame would do anything before acknowledging they might need help, but in that sense, the strategy they choose for their mental gymnastics are directly opposed. comfort in inflicting violence, and comfort in receiving it. that is precisely why they work together.

what makes madarame and towa "soulmates" is both a combination of what makes them different and what makes them equal. the denial of their trauma and their view of themselves, the violence and the vessel, the boxer and the punching bag. if i were to point a character that is truly "equal" to towa, I'd point ikuina, and that is why towa shows such a small, fleeting interest for ikuina, especially in madarame's route. ikuina wants to be violent as much as he wants the violence done to him, he wants to drown in it, he is fascinated by it and willing to inflict it upon himself directly, as much as towa is. they crave it, are addicted to the violence, but especially addicted to the pain, on both a sexual and psychological level. ikuina's trauma is related to violence in a way that made him view himself like towa views himself, not only as a carrier for violence, but mostly as deserving of violence, like a deeply religious person thinks themselves deserving of divine punishment, it is, in their eyes, a reward just as much.

but to towa, that isn't what fulfills him. he doesn't want another to share his desire for abuse, because he doesn't want to abuse, not really. what towa wants - and here we're not really talking about towa, the person, but rather his subconscious, his instinct built on his traumatic experiences, not his rational self, not his personality exactly, but a much deeper force inside him, one he never really learned or even had the chance to learn how to deal with, and so made it part of who he is, or believes he is: his ptsd - what he wants is someone willing to abuse him, someone who both cares for him and is willing to abuse him, that is the dream of anyone seeking self destruction, but who isn't necessarily suicidal, which is towa's case. as much as he denies it, as much as he despises it, he hates it precisely because he knows its true: he does want to be madarame's pet. he wants someone who will give him what he wants, someone who will take responsibility for him, someone to hurt him and dress his wounds, so that he doesn't have to do it himself, to himself. that is towa's euphoria, as it is, in a way, anyone's euphoria, to relive their trauma, or a crucial part of it. for towa, it is being abused, being cut and raped, and not have to seek it himself. it is having it done to him, like the first time, like the times before, and mostly - by someone he trusted.

and madarame, he of course loves towa, in his own twisted idea of love, and a pet is exactly what he wants, too. because inflicting violence is his penitence, the only way he could ever love another is by showering them with violence. it is not that he's abusive, or toxic, not in his eyes, because to him, violence is beautiful - and that is what made him fall in love with towa, because that's what towa understands. violence is beautiful, both inflicting it and receiving it. it is a recurring theme in slow damage as a whole, of course, the damage, obviously, of violence, but especially the beauty of it. every character believes violence to be beautiful in their own way, maybe not as obvious as towa and madarame, but we have the minor euphoria models, we have characters like taku and rei, a doctor and a body modification professional, who are at their core also deeply related to violence, to pain, in order to heal, in order to turn into art. we have toono and sakaki, who we can say are the main "antagonists", in slow damage, who, despite being deeply connected to violence, also despise it. sakaki believes it to be a necessary evil for the greater good, and toono sees it as merely a tool. in most instances where towa's scars are brought up, words like artwork, body art, uniqueness, are brought up, except for when toono brings them up. what paints toono as a villain in slow damage is not his acts and much less his moral compass, but rather his refusal to accept violence, to embrace it, to find it beautiful.

i guess I'd say that is the main point "slow damage" wants to come across with, after about 60 hours playing it. from the roots of shinkoumi, the city itself fueled by violence, to the thing that gives purpose and fleshes out each of the side characters - and that could be another rant of its own entirely

[heroofspiritsisthebestlink]

With the resurgence of the Hinamiki Agenda, I realized there was a wall of text I wrote for them that I never posted here.

So here it is. Why I think Hinamiki rules.

You often hear that there are two sides to every coin. Every toss of said coin can determine drastically different outcomes. People nurtured into the mundane often dream of more, and people dragged through the extreme wish for less.

Hajime Hinata is born as what equates to a commoner in this world of overglorification of the talented. He lives what we consider a normal life, and like many others, dream of attending Hope's Peak Academy and enter the ranks of the socially elite super star teenagers. Finally, he finds a way in, though disappointingly through the Reserve Course.

And it's hell. There's nothing special about being a Reserve Course student at Hope's Peak, unless you count being treated like societies biggest joke from both sides of the spectrum. The other talentless of the world see you as a rich asshole pretender, and the main course students see you as worthless garbage. The police even do it too. Or at least, the lives of a main course student is more socially valuable.

But then Hajime is granted a choice. A choice to be more, a choice to ascend. To become what he's always dreamed of, someone of talent and of what society deems of worth. So of course he takes it.

And, without knowledge, he's turned into a monster.

Mikan Tsumiki is born into an abusive household. She's tormented, bullied and beaten at both school and at home. It's never explicitly stated why, but somewhere along this way, she develops an enormous abandonment complex, to the point where she prefers mistreatment over isolation. There's no one to help her but herself, something she eventually takes to a fatalistic conclusion by teaching herself how to heal her own wounds when no one would. Her expertise in the medical field stems from self treatment just to make it through to the next day. Childhood is hell. Middle school is hell. There's nothing she can do, and nobody is willing to do anything for her.

Until one day, something does. She gets scouted for Hope's Peak Academy as the Ultimate Nurse. Her achievements are heralded as incredible, her fight for survival indirectly romanticised as "worthy of prestige." It's morally garish, but she starts attending. And it turns into the best years of her life. Sure, some people still pick on her and take advantage of her obsessive need for attention, but it's still the comparatively healthiest environment she's ever lived in. She has friends. For the first time in her life, she's thriving, even if it's in somewhat unhealthy ways.

But then someone has plans for the world. Someone is in need of autonomous slaves, willing to carry out her will in her absence. And Mikan is taken in, and much like the rest of her life, she is given no choice in the matter, forced to return to that harmful path.

And she, once again without a say in the matter, is turned into a monster.

Two sides of the same coin that flips through the air, one side twisting to take up the position that the other previously held. Joy to despair. Despair to joy. The coin keeps falling, barrelling towards the bottom, destined to land with one side up, and the other scorned. Both sides can't both win.

Unless someone catches that coin.

One thing that keeps striking me when I look over the interactions Hajime and Mikan have is that despite how much the two mirror each other as opposites, they still find much common ground. They're both scared and insecure of others not deeming them worth their time, but differs in how they express it and subconsciously enact on it. But, through talking, they find a sort of conversational kinship. Hajime reassures Mikan that she doesn't need to do anything to deserve friendship, and she, in turn, gets on his case to take better care of himself. Any attempt at hiding his pain is something she picks up on, given her heightened perception she's gained through her own trials.

Through his ardent kindness, he's able to make her calm down and have a regular conversation with her without enabling her worst coping mechanisms, which is a really difficult balance to hit. He is the only one Mikan ever opens up to, given he's the only one Mikan trusts not to be repulsed by her ugly past and distance from her. That's an incredibly difficult step to take, and I wish that was recognized more.

It's cheesy, but I really do think they make for an interesting whole when these two halves come to talk, each showing the other a path to deal with their respective issues, and then imploring the other to walk down it.

Love isn't a cure. Junko's version is an example of that, it's not instafix or bandaid solution.

Instead, love is a symptom. A symptom of joy, progress and hope. Hope that you can have enough faith in yourself and your life to share joy unconditionally.

Top image is an edit made by Twitter user @ weebainu

Bottom image is a sprite edit illustration made by Twitter user @ middinos

[redninjaoutfit]

i want to understand: why ship tad and peanut?

I've been gathering my thoughts on this topic for such a long time because I have so so many but its so hard to articulate them sometimes. THEY ARE SO NEAR AND DEAR TO MY HEART YOUR HONOUR MY ANGSTY SONS

More under the cut cause it's gonna be a whole lot of words

For starters, I just enjoy the enemies to lovers trope in general. I think seeing someone else's flaws to the point of considering them annemesis and still managing to move past that and fall in love with them down the line is very poetic. Having to battle through hate, one of the most misguided and complex emotion one can feel towards other people and coming out victorious, conquering the concept you have of someone and replacing it with an image so dissimilar to how you perceived them before... I get a lil kick out of it. It takes incredible maturity and willingness to cooperate on both sides of the relationship to move past hard feelings, to find common ground and build something substantial and amiable on that very ground. The former enemies actively heal and grow as people alongside one another, it's a very beautiful concept.

HATE AND LOVE ARE NOT TWO SIDES OF A SPECTRUM!! They're standing next to each other, separated only by a thin sheet of paper which is so easy to rip through once you move past the issues which divide you.

For Tad and Peanut, the obvious and unavoidable source of conflict is their allegiance to their respective cliques. The Preps and Greasers are supposed to despise one another out of principle which they very much do. Consequently, as of the events of the game, neither have any possibility to openly display their many compatible characteristics around one another. Hence why the animosity festers.

When I talk about the many compatible characteristics of Tad and Peanut I mean MANY. SO MANY. You might notice I did not say similar as I don't find they are carbon copies of one another, their lives are very different, however, their very cores slot with each other perfectly. It all falls into place.

Peanut, as I'm sure everyone already knows, has a painfully and one-sidedly dependent relationship with Johnny who is assumed to have saved him in some way, judging by the contents of his character quotes. He's fiercely loyal to his leader to the point where it's overwhelming and he actively fears disappointing Johnny in any capacity (not aided by the fact that he's implied to have feelings for Lola). Not to mention, as a second in command, he's got big shoes to fill, shoes he doesn't deem himself good enough to fill. Though he seems content with being trapped in Johnny's shadow he does show a sense of longing for freedom and a deep self-consciousness about his abilities.

Tad on the other hand is not second in command, quite the opposite, he's at a disadvantageous position in his clique with his newcomer status. Yet the expectations he has to meet at the forceful request of his father are just as if not more ambitious than Peanut's. With how prominently Mr Spencer's abuse towards his son altered his character and mindset, Tad is thus trapped in the role of the usurper, exactly what he feels (and knows) his clique-mates see him as. His opinion of the topic is largely apathetic though the apathy seems forced and learned.

His destiny as his father's extension has been set in stone, as has Peanut's servitude to Johnny. Neither feel they can do anything about it.

Both deem themselves worthless and void of purpose when they are not of use, not going along with whatever demands have been put onto them. They convince themselves (Peanut moreso than Tad) that their prison is a comfortable one, that the end goal of their struggle will be satisfactory yet know deep down all they want is freedom.

In this way they are very compatible, enough that they see a bit of themselves in the other which is part of the reason their bad blood runs so deep, especially on Tad's part. They see the collars hanging heavy around their necks and tug on them in hopes the other won't notice the perpetrator's own. It's easier to depersonalize yourself from your own issues than to face them head on.

I can definitely see them snapping on one eventful occasion - a supernova of unspoken emotions ready to surface - their reconciliation would not be a serene, drawn out ordeal of slow acquiescence. They fire each other up to the point of accidentally creating a spark which leads to a flame. A common flame between them in whose glow and light they can finally see each other's true colours, which will not burn them like it usually does but rather provide warmth, much needed after the long years spent in their cold, oppressive jail cells.

They would be like two dogs chained to a tree and left for dead tasting food again and rediscovering the comfort of a plush pillow - striving to maintain the warmth of mutual understanding conceived on that very day and would no doubt cultivate it to the best of their inexperienced ability. They both know by then the other is a novice in terms of... well, everything when it comes to being appreciated.

They rediscover love together and that's why I think they are so very beautiful and compatible as a pair!!

THAT'S IT... UM SORRY FOR RAMBLING AND THIS BEING MUSHY AS ALL HELL THEY JUST MAKE ME SOB AND WISH FOR THEM TO HAVE A BETTER LIFE. THE POTENTIAL IN THEIR RELATIONSHIP IS IMMENSE AND I WILL NOT BE SILENCED ABOUT IT. THEY CAN HEAL EACH OTHER LIKE NOONE ELSE CAN!!!

[moonspirit]

Now that u have answered Annie’s sister in law, we need Armins siblings in law (so Pieck and Reiner)

Maldonado as a side note Annie is Pieck’s younger sister, but she is also Reiner’s older brother. Idk why but that’s just how it is based on dynamics.

Hi anon!

Hahah xD Oh Reiner and Pieck.

Tbh post-canon I really enjoy thinking about these two sets of relationships: Jean-Annie-Connie and Pieck-Armin-Reiner. Each half of Aruani sandwiched between two people from the side opposite to which they once belonged.

Anyway. I said it in some set of tags recently, but I love the potential of the bond Reiner and Armin could share post-rumbling. They're both similar in the respect that they have some self-hatred (though the root-causes are a bit different). This self-hatred, if shared, is something they'd understand. Reiner fought the very essence of life (the hallucinogenia) to help humanity live despite yearning for death himself. After the battle, his mental health is a goner; the guilt of everything that happened right from his birth to the present is extremely heavy to bear alone. If he was at rock bottom before, well now he's below any visible surface lol. Armin isn't too different from him then; he's just as shattered, guilt-ridden and debating his right to exist - but the hope that's inside him is a very, very hard thing to kill. It's because of that hope that the battle could end at all, and even if Eren's death and the loss of much of humanity is a planet-sized sin for him to carry, he's still hopeful, he's still a dreamer, he still sees the beauty in life.

Armin has the potential to lead the way in both his and Reiner's paths to healing. And Reiner, ever the protective big brother, will be unable to hide his genuine care and concern for Armin's well being and safety throughout their political work. The two go on long walks, hands in their pockets, talking about the past and future and everything in between; they play plenty of chess; they pore over maps of the remaining world; they rely on each other to pick the other up when the bouts of guilt overwhelm them.

Pieck now, is very very interesting. Not only is she the sole outsider in the Ambassador group, but she's also the one person who carries no good memories nor much empathy for Eren. She's every bit grounded in reality as Armin cannot help but dream. Initially, I think she'd find Armin's optimism and hope quite naive and delusional; after all she's always been aware of the cruel truth of their existence and the Eldian race's place in the world. Moreover, Armin's bond with Eren puzzles her - she can see that Armin is not a bad person; far from it in fact, he's reasonable, empathetic, careful and strategic. How could it ever have been possible that someone like him and Eren used to be inseparable friends? Over time though as Armin confides in her more about his and Eren's friendship, she learns to appreciate the bittersweetness of two boys who were each the other side of the very same coin.

Pieck and Armin, I hc, share a love for music and gadgets. They are both incredibly smart and this makes it very easy for them to fall into place as a very strong political team. They plan, they strategize, they discuss methods and tools and issues in their way. Armin values Pieck's level-headed approach to viewing and solving problems, while she appreciates his innovative ideas, tact, and careful consideration in minimizing damage. They enjoy conversations, they buy each other music records to play on the gramophone, and while Pieck helps Armin see the things he misses when he's lost in dreams, Armin helps Pieck feel welcome and like family, in their gang of six.

(Bonus: Reiner's always prattling on to Armin about how he's so glad his "little sister Annie" is happy with Armin, while Pieck annoys him to no end by never missing a chance to point out what an adorable simp he is lmao)

[mightydyke]

The Xenogenesis series is so fucking good. With each book, the ending gets more hopeful, the protagonist is less human and I found myself sympathising more with the Oankali and less with the humans (although I can't bring myself to "pick a side", Butler's portrayal of both is so nuanced and makes me feel so conflicted in the best way possible.) At first the Oankali are presented as colonisers, forcing the humans to mate with them and sterilising those who don't in a pretty clear parallel to eugenics, but in the second book this role is reversed when Akin is kidnapped by human resistors and they want to force him to be more human, trying to cut him off from his Oankali way of life. The scene that really drove this point in for me was when some humans were plotting to cut off the tentacles of those two Construct children, even though it could kill them. There's a reading group question about this in the back of my copy, about possible parallels between this and our own world, and yeah. FGM and the treatment of Native American children in residential schools spring to mind. It's crazy how astute Butler is and how this scene, which is about half-alien children, is still so true to life. But even then, there are sympathetic humans, like Tate and Gabe and Yori. They still make mistakes, but mostly out of a lack of understanding, like Tate not returning Akin to his family and Gabe interrupting him when he's healing Tate.

And the endings! Dawn: Lilith has been impregnated against her will, being led away by Nikanj, her plan to get to Earth and run away has failed. Adulthood Rites: Akin has secured the Mars colony for humans. Despite not being allowed to reproduce and live on Earth, the future of the human race is secured. The town Phoenix is burning, but there's still a sense of hope (also the symbolism of Phoenix adds to this hope. And it's so clever!! I love Butler's symbolism so much). Imago: Jodhas and Aaor have been accepted by a human village, Jodhas plants a seed that will grown into a town. Planting a seed is such a symbol of hope, but this seed will grow into a ship that will devour the Earth of resources, leaving it a husk. Also the different narrators! Lilith and Akin don't narrate their own stories directly, only Jodhas' story is written in the first-person. Lilith is human, Akin and Jodhas are half human, but Jodhas is an ooloi, which seem less human than male and female Oankali. Lilith wants humans to escape from the Oankali, and Akin fights for the humans to be allowed to continue to exist without breeding with the Oankali. But Jodhas is the opposite. It seduces humans into wanting to mate with it. It represents the gene-trade mission. Yet it's story is told in the first-person. I'll be honest, I felt sympathetic towards Jodhas whilst knowing that I probably shouldn't. I found it's relationship with Jesusa and Tomas to be very sweet, I was happy for it! When it didn't tell them that them staying with it throughout it's metamorphosis would hormonally bond them for life, I obviously saw it as terrible. To chemically bond someone to you for life without their consent is awful. And the way that the Ooloi are so good at convincing humans, like when Aaor and Jodhas go to Jesusa and Tomas' community and Aaor instantly gets mates! That humans would immediately want to mate with something they have been brought up to fear their whole lives shows the power of the Ooloi's manipulation. And yet I still feel compassion for them. Butler's writing creates empathy for every single character. The way she writes is as seductive and convincing as an Ooloi's scent.

[i-eat-deodorant]

Tell me about your onions.

here's an onion. i'm so funny.

ahem.

ok real talk though i've been doing a couple brief dives into the reincarnation aspect of buddhism/hinduism, which haven't been super applicable to COTL so far. which is a shame, bc it has such an interesting take on rebirth and resurrection within the nature of religion.

in COTL, death is seen as semi-permanent and a boon. lamb uses it to their advantage via the nature of game protagonists being able to restart from a save point when they died. the ritual of resurrection is groundbreaking for followers, and i headcanon that the ritual of rebirth is the main reason why TOWW got imprisoned. it is very much a loaded gun in the COTL world.

but buddhism treats rebirth as not only a nature of living, but something that needs to be escaped from. literally something that one must fight to be unshackled from, to break past samsara and reach ascension via nirvana. it's such an interesting viewpoint to consider and explore, especially bc my interpretation of lamb has them never being willing to become this resurrecting figure in the first place. as much as the red crown has been a boon for them, it's also acted as a bind. they will always have both their mortal and godly vices.

in both hinduism and buddhism there are multiple schools of thought that tackle the continuuity of resurrection, aka "what is carried over when one is reborn?"

now suppose narinder did not carry everything he had as TOWW to his mortal form. what is lost, and what is gained?

if i were to adapt samsara into my cotl fics i'd focus less on actual death and more on metaphorical ones. which, ok bear with me here, is a huge part of my personal philosophy.

humans are not static; we grow and develop, and in doing so we shed prior versions of ourselves like metamorphosis. a sort of ego death lite, if you will. when faced with a traumatic event, the person you once were is not the same as the person you are now. that is the kind of metaphorical death i'm talking about; the death of a former self.

but what exactly marks the new self and the old self? nothing, theoretically. we can make the boundary as low or as high as we want.

consider the ship of theseus: if a huge portion of my body is replaced every 7 years, can i definitely say i am who i was 7 years ago? what part of identity and self stays constant, when my personality's changed drastically? am i a stranger with the memories of someone else?

now narrow the boundary. if the self is physically static, then every time a cell dies, the self dies.

using that technical definition, technically i die and am reborn every single second. a metaphorical death and a metaphorical rebirth, and what gets carried over?

something something life and death are two sides of the coin of change.

that's why i kinda keep emphasizing lamb's impostor syndrome crisis about themselves dying in both soul and body during the execution. that's why i divide narinder's life into such stark epochs (mortal, bishop, imprisoned, mortal again). that's why i love treating their afterlife not as a continuity of their character development, but a second chance. ship of theseus, broken down and rebuilt anew.

it's not nirvana. but it's making the best out of your own personal samsara.

and just. there's something so poetic about narinder and lamb reincarnating as gods of death, because the only way to die repeatedly is to live again after each one. a taste of permanence in the impermanent, without ever reaching that finality that they embody as gods. they represent the very thing they are and aren't. it's a paradox that makes perfect sense the moment you remove the black-and-white boundary of life/death that dictates they must be opposites.

and this is what i love exploring. breaking down the barriers of identity and death in the metaphysical sense, in two characters who are defined by so much loss in their lives. (metaphorical) death, treated as redemption, treated as healing.

lamb, offering a hand up to a newly reborn narinder. i died, i got up, and i live.

[kidnappedbycartoons]

Returning to Tumblr solely because I'm back on my Zutara shit. That moment in the catacombs was such a perfect setup, let me break it down.

Zuko being the one to reach out first

At this point, Zuko had been moving towards a more positive lifestyle and it shows in his reaction. Even though he is frustrated when Katara yells at him, he doesn't lash out or use his firebending. Season one Zuko wouldn't have been able to do this, look at that growth. Instead, he apologizes to her and attempts to connect with her by bringing up his mother as well.

Up until this point, the only people that Katara could talk to about the Fire Nation taken away her mother were other victims of the Fire Nation. On top of that, Zuko has been chasing down Aang for a hot minute. Who would've thought that the son of the Fire Lord also experienced the pain of losing his mother? Would've been able to understand that pain and loss? Would've been able to bond with her through that?

Katara offering to heal him with the water from the Spirit Oasis

Once again, I don't think people realize how impactful this is. This is water from the Spirit Oasis. She literally says that she has been saving it for something important. And as we all know, she only had enough for one use which ended up being healing Aang. But Katara offered to heal ZUKO'S scar with it. On top of that, let's look back.

Katara apologizes to him for yelling and feels comfortable enough with him to tell him that whenever she thought of the enemy, she thought of him. Mind you, she's using past tense. Clearly, after the two of them managed to open up to each other, she started to see him as the person he is and not just the enemy. And Zuko feels comfortable enough to tell her how he views the scar Ozai gave him and his recent revelations. These two have been on opposite sides for months, but it only took a few minutes or hours at most, for them to reach this level of comfortability with each other. Don't think so?

Zuko lets Katara touch the scar

Zuko has been very self-conscious of his scar whenever someone brought it up or drew attention to it. So for him to allow Katara to get close enough and place her hand on the physical representation of his trauma and pain just shows how safe he feels with her in this moment. And not just him, but for Katara to feel safe enough to even get that close to him without worrying if he was going to lash out and she would have to put him in his place. Do y'all not see the material? They trusted each other in this moment.

Of course, we get cut off by Aang and Iron pulling up which leads to the next point.

The looks

When Katara and Aang hug, Zuko glares at Aang. Now, it is highly possible that this is because a part of him still feels the need to catch the Avatar, but coming after that scene, doesn't it read like jealousy?

And as Katara leaves, she looks back at Zuko who is looking away with a sad expression. In that moment, in those catacombs, she felt something. As Katara will tell Zuko before their field trip, she trusted him. It's the emotional intimacy for me.

[pagingharu]

Name: Cassiopeia (Cassie) Galanis

Birthday: March 1

Age: 26 years old

Height: 5'7''

MBTI: INTJ-A

Main Theme Song: Devil In Me by Halsey

Occupation: She was formerly part of the Special Operations Forces, until Jumin offered her a job. She now works for him in C&R International as a bodyguard.

Bio: Not much is known about her history with how it's kept confidential, even to Jumin. There are also speculations that the name she uses isn't her real name, though there is no way of proving it. Despite all that, Jumin trusts her and that she can look after V after assigning her as his personal bodyguard. While she and V kept things professional at first, the two eventually warmed up to each other and grew close.

Personality: rational, independent, prefers to take matters into her own hands, determined though it could border to being stubborn, faces challenges head on, curious, dismissive of emotions, can be seen cold at first

Relationships: (bear with me as i type a whole lotta things)

ALSO EVERYONE LIVES AU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

V - VIP and bodyguard dynamic (eventual lovers? whatever they have going, it confuses everyone)

V didn't want a bodyguard at first, and tried to make Jumin back down from his decision of assigning Cassie to him, but this all fell on deaf ears. This was immediately followed by V trying to make things hard for Cassie in an attempt to make her quit. Though this was proven hard to do so with him failing every time. He was too much of a kind gentleman to be a bother to someone.

Cassie was determined to stay by his side, and upon seeing this, V eventually gave up on his plan. Instead, he made her promise to him not to interfere with or stop his plans. In return, Cassie made him promise to her to never shut her out. Whatever it is that concerns him, she'll be there for him.

After everything that happened, Cassie continued her job as V's bodyguard even though there was no need for it anymore. Not that she'd admit it, but she grew to care for him and wanted to stay by his side. She didn't know it, but V felt the same way towards her. When he decided to go on a journey to heal himself, he asked if she'd come with him. She responded with a smile, saying where he goes, she'd follow.

MC2 (blonde hair) - friends

An introvert and extrovert friendship. While Cassie first found it awkward to be part of RFA where everything wasn't about work, MC2 didn't mind taking her under her wing. It was thanks to her that Cassie was able to open up to everyone else.

Both tend to push each other to go out of their comfort zones and try new things out, what more with MC2 falling in love with 707. Cassie would tease them and the love story unfolding between the two, but she would also be their biggest supporter.

Jumin - boss and employee dynamic

They first met during one of Cassie's missions under Special Operations Forces. She caught Jumin's interest that he personally reached out to her with an offer to work for him sometime later.

He sees her as one of the best thus assigned her to V. Cassie respects him, just as he with her, and both have an unspoken agreement to team up together. While her history is shrouded with mystery, this doesn't deter Jumin from relying on her to keep V safe.

Jaehee - coworkers dynamic

Despite being in the same company, they aren't close with how they keep things professional between. They were both strictly work, nothing else. It wasn't until Cassie joined the RFA group chat that the two started talking about other things besides work.

At some point, Cassie began lending her ear to Jaehee whenever she needed to rant about work or their boss, Jumin. This amuses Cassie the more Jaehee rants, seeing her in a new light.

707 - siblings dynamic

Even though they're opposites, both seem quite fond of their sudden friendship. 707 was the first to reach out, and from his teases and jokes, Cassie finds herself enjoying his company. Even going along with his antics from time to time with her deadpan humor.

The two make quite the unstoppable team when they first worked together. Cassie likes that he can keep up with her in terms of missions, and 707 seems more than glad to have company during those. She sees how in love he is for MC2, and nudges for him to make a move.

Zen - silver haired rivals

Both act as if there can only be one silver haired member of RFA, and this often leads to them bickering about trivial things. Cassie especially doesn't like the fact that Zen insults Jumin, and Zen can't understand why she's so loyal to the man.

Though they find a common ground in protecting the people they care for. There are times when Zen thinks Cassie's ways are a bit too extreme, but nonetheless they back each other up to keep everyone safe.

Yoosung - one sided admiration

Yoosung views Cassie as someone awesome, just like the protagonists in action movies. He's even sure she can do everything on her own, seeing her as a one man team. While she didn't know what to say to his admiration at first, she later on found it amusing.

Though he sometimes gets fooled by 707 and Cassie whenever he asks about their jobs and the likes; what they do in the shadows and all that. When Yoosung realizes he's been made fun of, he goes after the two to give them a piece of his mind.

Vanderwood - acquaintances

While they aren't close, they do keep a civil and professional dynamic. It often stems from their similarities when it comes to work and being loyal to their boss. Although teaming up alongside 707 changed a few things, and they were able to rely more on each other.

Saeran - former enemies

They hated each other at first with his affiliation to Mint Eye and her job to protect V. Both were even willing to hurt the other if it was called for. It wasn't until after everything was done that they reluctantly learned to be civil with each other, mostly for 707's sake.

Rika - former(?) enemies

Similar to Saeran, they both see each other as enemies. With Cassie protecting V, and V realizing his relationship with Rika was toxic, this led Rika to believe everything was Cassie's fault and tried to kill her. After everything was done, they barely interacted as Rika is sent away for treatment.

[liketwoswansinbalance]

The BROTHERS vs. SELF-ACTUALIZATION: Why Rise's Plot is the Way It Is and Why the Brothers' Original Characterizations are Inextricable from that Plot

A continuation of this post. If you haven't already, skim the previous post's photos for context.

First, let's start ourselves off with this poll:

The reason why I've started with this question is because I have potential plans to start the same poll again after I publish a different post I've got in the works, and I wish to compare the before and after results, after I point out a certain few things about Adela Sader and Rafal's conduct in Monrovia.

⸻

Now that that's out of the way:

To begin with the most obvious point: Rhian and Rafal are opposites, two sides of the same coin, as the Bettelheim text repeatedly claims about the pairs of brothers in classic tales. Still, there are other possible "references" or parallels present.

(I can't quite call the perception of the twins' presences in an unrelated text "references" since, well, the text predates them. Its copyright date is 1975 and Rise was published in 2022.)

The brothers in the tales "remain in touch through magic," which already parallels how Rhian and Rafal each realized in Fall that they weren't healing, a sign of their bond/sorcery's decay, their succumbing to the figurative rot.

Rhian and Rafal also have several of the character traits described in the Bettelheim text in common with the other sets of fairy-tale brothers. And, there's the plot of Rafal leaving in Rise and both brothers encountering dangers and saving each other (yes, remember: Rhian's love saves Rafal's life—even if most of the overall action unfairly weighs on Rafal as he fixes things like he's a beast of burden).

Adela Sader, a Seer, is the "witch," to an extent, like the archetypal figure, if not a literal one, for what she represents in the conflict. She and Rafal's interaction could represent a moment of temptation, a common turning-point for better or for worse in literature in general. And Rafal's decision to try to withhold and prevent the inevitable prophecy from coming true speaks volumes about his personality and more importantly, his self-image and what he thinks of himself, as he uses the world he inhabits and its laws as a yardstick with which to evaluate himself. Yet, unfortunately for him and his best-laid plans, he's a complete individual who deserves to view himself as someone apart from existing structures, like Evil, that can prove one-sided.

I'd even go as far as saying: Evil ≠ Never because we've come to associate certain traits with Nevers that not all Evil-doers in the Woods possess. Essentially, we could think: all Nevers are Evil-doers, but not all Evil-doers are (conventional) Nevers. There are many characters throughout the series who serve as exceptions to the "rule" or whatever is considered common practice or Never "culture" and its customs. There are more connotations to being a Never than there are to being Evil. For instance, "Never" can imply "losing-streak" and "poor hygiene," while "Evil," being more detached from the Woods' subjective perceptions, doesn't immediately do the same thing as an evocative word.

(Eventually, I might post something about Rafal's genre-savviness dilemma because it could take too long to explain now and detract from the point of this particular post, which is not mainly about Adela Sader, identity, and Rafal's genre-savviness.)

Furthermore, I will discuss the twins' codependence and how each was never able to disentangle himself from the other of the pair.

Enter vague thematic ideas:

Individuality, interpreted as "free will," in this case.

The separation and "inner integration" of opposing sides (which implies both 1) coming to terms with the existence of the other, conflicting part to the whole and 2) more fundamentally, in actual psychology, reconciling yourself with yourself, knowing yourself, and feeling "complete" so to speak).

Independence and asserting oneself.

First of all, we can observe Rhian's physicality and physical desire versus Rafal's restrained nature. (I'm not saying Rafal lacks physicality at all, but he's not as open with it. He's less wild, reckless, and restless, as far as some of his outward behaviors, if not his thoughts, go.)

Hence, the more Rhian gives into romantic infatuations and the accompanying lust, the more he loses sight of true Goodness and his own humanity. His heartstrings become puppet strings. He gets more animalistic verbs and snake imagery revolving around him as time beats on, as the plot progresses, and he unravels, for lack of having achieved total "integration." And all this is by failure of being a well-adjusted individual or "sane" adult.

And who do we have to blame for stunting his growth and maturity as a person apart from others, with an identity that doesn't rely on external things?: Rafal, who is almost equally teenage-minded.

And Rhian's unwitting antagonist here is not only Rafal. There's one other force working against him: the Storian. Neither of the twins' minds were ever allowed to develop past adolescence and that fact is at least partly at fault for their downfall.

Rafal apparently kept Rhian in check—that's what we implicitly learned in Rafal's absence. The opposite could also at once be true, but that's not relevant now.

Rhian's usual Goodness started to slip and fall to the wayside, probably because he had no one to be better than, no one to show up, and therefore, no one to compare himself to. So, he had no living proof he was doing the right thing for an extended period of time.

This plays into how being the sole actor in any scenario doesn't suit either of the brothers well. Because, they lose sight of anything objective when their fellow marker or "yardstick" isn't present for them to use to see themselves with.

It's not that they don't have a sense of right or wrong; they do. It's that that very sense becomes diluted and ineffectual when the other isn't there.

They becomes skewed—first, turning into the most extreme version of themselves, more like themselves than ever. (E.g., Rafal callously took an innocent hostage and acted in cold blood various times, and Rhian continually fed his sense of vanity). And then, they eventually dropped off at some point, at the "peak" of behaving like themselves, suddenly behaving, or rather, becoming, unlike themselves, which is exactly when the problems start.

For instance, just look at the moment Rhian decides to do what Rafal would do (in Rhian's mind, congruent with his image of Rafal), when he agrees to the bet Vulcan challenges him to. He semi-consciously chooses to fight Evil with Evil, instead of doing what he himself would do, swallowing his pride and protecting his wards, despite the blow to his ego in taking the coward's way out. He doesn't exercise his immaterial authority, (verbally, instead of physically, through a tangible competition).

And generally, before he's corrupted, Rhian has trouble exercising the authority he should've had—another sign of how he never comes into his own. Nor did Rhian have the chance to come into his own, with the authorities that be (Rafal and the Storian) always, constantly hovering over him, trapping him in inaction, in the past.

The strange thing is, in Fall, Rafal admits to having conceded a lot of the time to Rhian in the past, in the face of smaller, pettier arguments, a trend which also represents his yielding to Rhian's (supposedly nonexistent) authority in the early days. That tendency seems self-contradictory of Rafal, but perhaps, even Rafal's authority is situational. He's capable of exercising it over everything and world, but not over his own brother. He can't rein Rhian, the inevitable force, the "fatal" (to invoke both death and "fate") tides of change, the Prime Mover, in.

Meanwhile, Rhian is the inverse of that. Rhian cannot exercise authority over everything and the world, but he can do so over his own brother.

Besides, Rafal, often by sorcery or by outright manhandling, manipulates and exerts his physicality over others and his environment while Rhian rarely does. And yet, Rafal (from what I remember) never so much as lays a hand on Rhian during Rise (in Fall, everything changes and escalates).

I don't yet know why this is, but I think this observation is true most of the time. At least, I haven't thought of any exceptions yet.

The working hypothesis I have is that Rhian (being the brother who chose to stay in the comfort and limited confines of the home, according to the Bettelheim text's ideas) only initially felt comfortable to do anything there. To act, and exercise his authority in an intimate, narrow, personal way.

By contrast, Rafal (the more worldly, well-traveled, and inconstant brother) wants to gain independence from their stifling "home" life, under the Storian, and, as a result, upon his return, could've felt like a stranger in his own home and with Rhian (who's also changed in his brother's absence regardless). Thus, while Rafal can certainly exercise his authority impersonally, he doesn't feel at ease exercising authority over the familiar because it could be too close for comfort, too unsettling, unsettlingly different and the same, like he can't shed the disbelonging that drove him out of the fairy-tale construct of the "home" as a safe, childhood refuge in the first place—when Rhian first questioned his very core purpose and Evil's existence.

(By the way, I came up with a pun: despite being gay, Rhian made Rafal "home-a-phobic.")

To simplify the above, Rhian is homebound, while Rafal is figuratively "homeless" and still somehow recluse-leaning, despite not having a place to seclude himself in, in the end. (During Fall, he clearly doesn't feel safe because he's overly, rightly paranoid that Rhian is out to get him, prompting him to find a "faithful soldier." Then again, we can't fully blame Rhian since Rafal created Evil Rhian by means of a self-fulfilling prophecy.)

In addition, when Rafal possibly (unconsciously?) tries to carve out a place for himself in the world (apart from Rhian and the School) that start of his action reflects a classic adolescent struggle. Due to his role at the Schools as School Master and in being Rhian's brother, exclusive of all else, he's managed to postpone this phase of discovery, or keep this rite of passage from happening. And, this phase almost wouldn't have happened, if he'd never left!

Still, beyond that, he fails at it, at "finding himself," because he doesn't sever himself from the past, even if his "old ties" indeed loosen, by way of the rot affecting the brothers' bond, when he tries to forge new ties in the present (with Hook). And, he returns to his home, to forge anew the old bond he already had instead.

Could that act of returning be a form of regression?

The timescale of all this normal human development, taking place after a century, is really what's most bizarre about it all—hazards of being an immortal.

Perhaps, he was tasked with so much to keep up with and balance that he was in something of a primitive, "survival" mode, even if it looked like he was thriving and performing his job optimally before—and maybe, just maybe, that meant his pursuit of self-discovery was set to "dormant" for so long that it hadn't registered on his radar when the process began.

I believe the brothers are approximately around "Identity vs. Role Confusion" and "Intimacy vs. Isolation" (the latter concerning Rhian in particular) and that they start in Foreclosure and end in some perverse, tragically incomplete (or prematurely cut-off in Rafal's case) form of Moratorium, which, ironically, bears similarities to the concept of death, or even the phrase memento mori, for, mortal time is limited, and we must change before our final deadline—a deadline neither of the brothers had and hadn't the need to conform to or act on, as long as their immortality remained intact.

For reference:

"Identity confusion/diffusion occurs when adolescents neither explore nor commit to any identities. Foreclosure occurs when an individual commits to an identity without exploring options. A moratorium is a state in which adolescents are actively exploring options but have not yet made commitments. As mentioned earlier, individuals who have explored different options, discovered their purpose, and have made identity commitments are in a state of identity achievement" (Source).

Also, I want to point out that Rafal never did give up "the organization of his life," mentioned in the Bettelheim text, which may've interfered with his identity formation, fulfillment, and attainment of relationships outside of his with Rhian.

He wouldn't relinquish control, ever, unless it was pried from his cold, dead hands. (And it was.)

Perhaps, he was reluctant to let go of order? But, aren't we all prone to wanting order and flattening complexity as humans anyway? It's not just his fault as an individual; it's probably our collective fault as a species.

(Does anyone see this from a different perspective? I might be sympathizing with him too much.)

Moving on, the deep, dark forest of the soul is probably a common idea that other authors, like Professor Maria Tatar, have explored, if I'm remembering that correctly. I guess we could just establish that the further Rafal ventures into the Woods, and the more he distances himself from Rhian, and the worse off he is. But, I don't think all of that is truly proportional in a traceable way, considering that lots of his worse moments, like his trial sentence, happen at the Schools.

So, why don't we just consider the whole of the Woods dark and primal, and susceptible to the "cauldron of the unconscious" and the worst urges of humanity's Evil, and call it a day?

Gavaldon would have to be the separate space then, but it's no more civil than the Woods are, as, it's still distinct yet part of the Woods all the same in its enclosure.

In fact, let's just apply the dark woods-baser urges analogy to the world like a blanket.

Back to Adela Sader now.

She prompts anxieties in Rafal that he wouldn't have held or have even seen within himself, if not for her making him aware—aware to his detriment, when he chose knowledge over blissful ignorance, accessing the "forbidden" or the irreconcilable truth of a prophecy he didn't have the ability to integrate into his current worldview without collapsing what he knew to be true, when he metaphorically opened his eyes and didn't turn away.

This decision to ask for an direct answer to the future (instead of discovering and interpreting it for himself in real time) led him further away from self-actualization. (No, I don't mean his eleventh-hour Good revelation. I mean simply him as a underdeveloped, immature human being, however mature he may seem.)

Anxiety can drive people mad and meddle with how clearly they see the world (trust me on this one), and worse, this artificial anxiety Adela Sader gave him was imposed on him because he couldn't have known any better to not seek out or reject this knowledge. No one can forget something once it's known, once they're "awakened" to it.

Lastly, if anyone wants me to probe anything more or think on any of the parts in more depth, tell me. I will also provide clarification and context, and answer any questions, if anyone would like.

[starpiastri]

post break up sebmark drabble blehhhh have at it (v brief mentions of animal death + general violence)

~~

So it was important for me to just enjoy home

enjoy the things that are waiting there.

some stuff that, you know, you had no time during the season to fix.

Enjoyed, uh, being in my own bed,

I think it's always

you always want what you don't,

what you don't have.

2013

~~

“Don’t you ever just give it a rest?”

Sebastian doesn’t look at him, carries on staring at the engineers below them. The car looks good from far away. These are the first words Mark has said to him since December 31st, 11:59pm.

“You wouldn’t like me if I did.”

“Don’t know where you got the impression that I like you, mate.”

He just laughs bitterly, turning from the balcony to face Mark. Everyone is far enough for this to happen. There’s offices with thin enough glass that could overhear but they’re empty, just shells. The noise echoes off desks and papers and contracts.

“Think they call that leading someone on, mate.”

Mark holds the eye roll for now.

“Just get a grip, yeah? I’ll play nice if you do, that’s how this works.”

“It’s never been how this works.”

This is the factory and this is the race and this is the championship and this is them, just shadows on blue and red and yellow walls. It’s always been this way. These are not fresh wounds. The blood is drying beneath their feet and back at the house and in those damned hotel rooms.

Maybe Sebastian just hates what he left behind. What he can’t have.

“Fuck off, Seb.”

~~

Thank god he’s home. Mark scrapes 6th after the starting chaos and he thinks about his back covered in scarlet overalls the entire time he claws his way up to points.

He gets out of the car at the end, sees the cars as skeletons, and forgets the bleeding red thoughts entirely.

~~

“Won't you come?”

Mark sits in his childhood bedroom and listens to Sebastian on the phone.

“Thought you hated it.”

He doesn’t say me, he won’t say me. Nails in the coffin, or something like that.

“I couldn’t. You know that.”

happy new year, love

“Fucking hell, Sebastian.”

“Please. You know how this is going to end and I just want- I just want.”

He doesn’t have a fucking clue how it’s going to end, Mark thinks, as he looks at the same piece of wallpaper that’s been tearing for 30 years. He’s looking at the wall while the room speaks to him and it has the voice of the man he loved and it says his name.

“Mark.”

The worst part is he says his name like he’s always said it. That truly is the worst part of it all, not New Year’s, not Turkey or Silverstone or all their other meaningless moments that the journalists attribute to them. Oh, will they ever care beyond that? Will Mark? Will Sebastian?

“Please.”

Monaco. They’ve got matching cars on opposite sides of the world and they’ve got matching scars on old liveries from each other’s sharp edges. They’ve got enough bruises in the same places underneath their skin that won’t ever heal and they’ll sting when they bump into each other in 5, 10 years.

“I can’t, Sebastian.”

There’s a long crackle of silence, the static flooding the room.

“Are you sorry about it?”

And if he willed himself, Mark could go off on a spiel of what do I need to be sorry for? He could start with all the useless conversations that never ended nicely but at least they did end. He’s run out of bandages and he’s no longer dressing his wounds, neither of them are. It’s just that Sebastian is more willing to poke at one until it’s infected all over again.

Maybe Sebastian still wants to hurt. Mark won’t grant him that, whether it be in the form of an argument or his appearance at his hotel room door. That’s his punishment.

“Goodnight, Seb.”

happy new year.

~~

“Can I call you? Please, Mark, can I call you?”

Everything is in motion, still. It’s not the adrenaline, long dead in his bones, but it’s something different, something much worse. He feels nauseous when Sebastian looks at him the way he does. Mark can’t hear himself talk but he knows he’s let go.

Fingers release the cliff-edge and he’s finally in free fall.

The second step feels even lower when the guy on the top looks down at you with big blue eyes that are conflicted and flitting from the sky to your cap that has 2 on it so boldly no one could mistake it. He could read Seb’s mind, if he really wanted to. They’ve always been too good at doing that to one another.

He thinks about bulls and prancing horses and roadkill as someone else’s words wash over him and black oil spills from his mouth.

~~

You’ve got to understand my point of view, here.

I don’t know how the fuck you think you’ve got a point of view.

Stop shouting

Seb, I’m not- Right. Go on then.

I’m telling you that I think I’ll always respect you. As a driver. You know that.

But you’ve entirely- I can’t believe you, I can’t respect you as a person, not after that.

Then our relationship is in trouble. That’s it.

Yeah, that’s it.

~~

Mark bows out but not before he feels the wind in his hair. It feels a bit like freedom but it feels a lot more like relief.

He feels the weight of Sebastian’s words on him once more, the feeling of his palm in his in a firm handshake, and he finally retires as a Formula One racing driver. Sebastian takes his last world championship and they both cry at 11pm that night but they won’t ever know the other did too.

The phone line remains uncalled and the hotel room doors stay shut.

~~

“Were you happy to see me go?”

There’s red wine and too much of it. Sebastian looks older already but it’s only been two years. He looks better for a Ferrari racesuit. Mark looks better for doing whatever he wants. They’re still working out how all of this goes but they’re doing it gently.

Mark hopes they are, anyway. It’s not been fucking easy, but at least it’s been gentle.

“Happy isn’t quite right.”

Mark doesn’t push, something else he’s learning, and just looks out onto the garden and sips from his glass. The night air sings with creatures and is lit by the stars that are so clear here.

“I just watched you go. I felt nothing.”

“And was that good or bad?”

Sebastian smiles, knowing Mark always wants a clear answer.

“Well, it’s got me here. Got you here too. So I think it’s good.”

Mark never thought it any good to feel nothing, but he looks at Sebastian’s face now and doesn’t see numbness.

It’s the wine and it’s their shadows together.

Maybe one day, it’ll be them again.

2015

~~

[ninyard]

Could we have more about rowan or paris idk hc, love life and etc if you don’t mind, i love your ocs sm !!

oh thinking about this. thinking about my boys in love!!!!!

rowan? rowan has a lot of guilt about love and so i think it's really difficult for him to settle into a normal relationship, or to even admit that he has feelings for another man. i actually think for quite a while after he comes home, he struggles a lot with his sexuality again because he's spent so long burying it down that when it starts to come up for him again, it comes up with a lot of difficult feelings and memories and it... almost feels like a punishment for him. when he finds someone, and starts to get close to them, these feelings that feel like love or a crush end up getting confused with something wrong or dirty or inappropriate or sinful. he definitely swears himself off of love for quite some time, thinking it's just not for him. but at some point he breaks, he finds peace in his religion again, he speaks to other queer people who were able to find a space in their spirituality where their queerness can sit comfortably. being on the foxes and meeting a whole bunch of fucked up kids with fucked up pasts and fucked up relationships with their families, and sexualities, and existences? it's healing, at some point.

(i still think a lot about rowan casually dropping his lore into conversation at some point, like having a conversation with the foxes and offhandedly mentioning that he was in conversion therapy and the victim of religious institutional abuse like 🤪✌️)

paris is a lover, but he's really oblivious sometimes. you could kiss his stupid face and tell him you love him and he would still be like... as friends?

paris loves his friends, and while he's a tough nut to crack to get to know, once you know him, he'd have you questioning constantly "what are we?". He cuddles, he hugs, he'll fight tooth and nail for anyone that he loves. he had a longterm girlfriend in high school, but they broke up just before he left for edgar allan on pretty good terms and it was a mutual agreement, no bad feelings. it came about as they both realised they were going to opposite sides of the country for college, they were such good friends, they just both knew they couldn't make it work. knowing he was going to EAU he was aware of their kind-of "social media" policy which meant they wouldnt even really be able to speak at all. he called her when he was in town after coming back from eau for the week or two he was there, and they hooked up, but it was weird - she knew something was wrong, he didn't want to talk about it, and then it wasn't long before he moved to california afterwards.

for the couple months before he started classes at USC, he was seeing a guy who was on the football team. it was a very no-questions-asked kind of deal that they had, the footballer wasn't out, and paris wasn't emotionally able for anything serious at that stage. the guy he was sleeping with didn't ask him much about who he was, and paris didn't really care enough to get to know him any better either. he hated it, in a way, being so emotionally unavailable with someone, feeling so disconnected personally with someone he was sleeping with, but at that point he didn't really care. it didn't mean anything for him, it was just a stress release, and when they stopped seeing each other and paris started going to training and eventually to classes, he really started to... push his feelings inwards a little bit. he reminded himself to stay guarded, and for a while after that he didn't let anybody in too close again. a couple of nameless casual hookups here and there, but nothing serious.

paris is really flexible when it comes to labels and types of relationships he's interested in. he's done it all, really, and he's pretty much okay with anything so long as everyones comfortable. he finds it hard to be vulnerable in serious relationships, and usually just opts for hookups and one night stands. he's kind of more into non-monogamous situationships because they're less "stress" for him and much easier to navigate in his eyes. once he cracks, when he hits that wall in USC where he can't hold himself together anymore, and he starts going to therapy and being more honest about what happened to him, he opens himself up to the idea of dating again.

paris' dating life is confusing, because on the one hand he wants to be loved, but on the other hand he's forgotten how to be loved, how to act when he feels loved. he is so affectionate and cares so much but he can't let anyone in close enough to show it. same as rowan, he gets there eventually, but its a slow journey, that he keeps rushing himself into and either hurts himself or the other person in the process.

(@joanofexys knows a bit about how he gets on in his dating life once he goes pro. but thats for another day <3)

[vasito-de-leche]

;NSR DJSS - General Headcanons

Compilation of headcanons and analysis about DJ Subatomic Supernova and other related things.

I got an ask asking for DJSS' love languages (don't worry! working on it!) but then it hit me that I don't think enough about DJSS to talk about love languages right away, so I'm getting this out of my system to try and fleshen out the way I write him!

this might be, a BIT TOO LONG BC I GOT CARRIED AWAY RIGHT FROM THE START BC EVE WAS INVOLVED AND I LOVE HER

The most healthy and solid friendship DJSS has is with Eve.

Eve's post is still fresh on my mind, so it got me thinking about how DJSS and Eve are very similar - like, two sides of the same coin, or two opposites in the same spectrum. But before I get carried away, let's talk about DJSS.

Out of all megastars within NSR, DJSS is very clearly the one with the least amount of connections to other characters, at least in the way he's presented in-game. Like, all of them are connected to NSR and Tatiana because they work for her, that's obvious - but the Sayu Gang have each other, Yinu has her parents, Neon J has 1010, Eve and DK West both have Zuke and Tatiana/NSR respectively. Tatiana has Kliff, the Goolings and Mayday.

DJSS is just. There?

Maybe it's because he's the tutorial boss, but very similarly to Eve, themes of loneliness and not being appreciated enough or understood are prominent in his background. The casettes literally show him spiraling from an underappreciated but very passionate teacher to a very influential but egocentric megastar.

There's just something about how DJSS and Eve share loneliness as a theme. And how both of them also fully embody their work, becoming a personification of their craft and passions so that their self-worth and identity is DIRECTLY tied to how said passions are received and perceived. To others, music and art are simply an extension of themselves, an important part of their lives, not the whole of it. But DJSS and Eve? You can't separate them from their work. Again, the Sayu Gang are a bunch of teens bonding over a shared interest. Yinu is a megastar BECAUSE of her family, not by CHOICE, she plays the piano FOR her deceased father. Neon J is, first and foremost, a war veteran and protector of Vinyl City before he is a musician, even if dancing and music are his passions.

There is also something to be said about how their respective journeys are opposites of each other yet end the same way. They've gotten what they've wanted, but they're stagnant and unfulfilled.

We see DJSS starting as a starry-eyed teacher, thanking the THREE students AND A JANITOR who came to his lessons because he's grateful for anyone who will listen to him. He's using his passion and work to teach others and expand their minds and whatever other cool one-liners he says in his videos and cutscenes. This directly mirrors Eve, who starts as a self-loathing, deeply insecure artist who uses art as a way to cope and vent. (If you read my Eve post, throwback to the duality theme - outside and inside. DJSS is channeling his work to the world, to the outside. He's looking for people who understand him. Nadia is channeling her work to herself, to the inside. She's looking to understand herself.)

The middle part of their whole journey shows a moment of introspection and healing for both of them.

DJSS reconnects with his love for music and the reason he even became a teacher in the first place - not out of love for teaching (which is another point I wanna talk about later in this post) but for a genuine love and intrigue for the universe. After years of trying to get anyone to listen, he finally remembers how it feels to look up at the sky. He finds a way to merge both music and space as a means to further his goal.

Eve heals because she believes she's found someone who can complete her, someone who isn't herself but who can understand and see her just as good. She doesn't hide her pink side, she doesn't hide her face with her hair, she is shown to be very, very lively, excited and intense. This is the moment she realizes she can be understood and loved, all the things she saw as impossible before meeting Zuke. Her art reflects this, she can now focus on something other than hating herself.

(It's very important to me that we remember her heart piece with Zuke is made out of recycled bottles. Both DJSS and Eve were shown to have this thing for helping others - DJSS through teaching and Eve through art.)

And then, their last collectible shows them at their worst.

DJSS has finally managed to be influential enough to have thousands of people actually pay attention to what he's saying. And he explicitly says that, even though he's gotten this far, he feels empty. And he feels empty because all of his work will disappear, because he will be forgotten in a few generations. And we see how music has replaced his love for the universe, it's a subtle shift in which DJSS goes from wanting to learn and teach others about something he's deeply passionate about from wanting his music and hard work to live on forever through space.

There's a metaphor somewhere in there about DJSS' legacy being not his work as a teacher, astrophycisist or even a pillar of the EDM movement - but a few of his songs. Attached to an NSR satellite. Going through the empty void of space.

And then there's Nadia, all alone again. Because she's gotten so comfortable with the idea of being understood, that she expected Zuke to see everything the same way she did, and therefore setting his hair on fire wouldn't be that big of an issue. And this is her worst fear, but it doesn't hurt as much as she thought it would - because she's expected this to happen at some point, even when she was at her happiest with Zuke.

I want to draw a line between this moment and the way their loneliness permeates in their words and actions - DJSS who has tried for years to reach out to like-minded people, finally has an audience that respects him, he still feels unfulfilled and empty. And he further distances himself from everything by setting his sights and his legacy on THE COLD VACUUM OF SPACE. Eve, who has always believed she would end up alone, IS NOW ALONE AND ABANDONED (from her perspective anyways, since it would be unfair to say Zuke was a horrible monster for leaving a relationship this complex) and yet she doubles down on finding someone like her.

DJSS states that no one is able to think like him, no one within NSR shares his ambition nor vision - he's resigned. Eve states that she will bring everyone to her level one way or another - she's desperate. Two sides of the same coin. Two extreme opposites in the same spectrum.

It all boils down to believing that somewhere out there, whether in Vinyl City or the universe, there's someone who can really appreciate them.

The two conceal a sense of inferiority, the difference being that Eve's comes from a place of pure, genuine hatred for herself (if her work can't be understood, she can't be understood. if her work can't be appreciated, she can't be appreciated) and DJSS' comes from a place of blind confidence in his own potential and ideas (if his work cannot be understood, it's because no one has the ability to understand it. if his work cannot be appreciated, it's because no one is sensible enough to appreciate it).

There is also something about how, at their worst and/or when they feel threatened, they seem to switch?

This is most notable in Eve's boss fight, in which she acts condescending and dismissive to both Mayday and Zuke - saying all the things she knows will hurt just for the sake of hurting Zuke. She establishes her superiority over those who can't understand her, similar to how DJSS treats B2J initially. And in DJSS' case, hints of this reversal can be heard in his casettes, already explained above. He somewhat resembles Eve during her final section, a resigned and numb acceptance to being alone.

I think these two would be friends because they would be able to recognize their similarities - not openly address them, mind you, that's too much for either of them to handle - but enough to just chill with each other. There is an underlying feeling of understanding between them, even if all they do is hang out to do superficial things, gossip or rant about work.

And I like to think they're both fine with this arrangement, because sometimes people need relationships that aren't mentally or emotionally exhausting or intense! Sometimes you just need a buddy who shares a similar trauma that neither of you will address and who wants to go bitch about Stacy from HR! It's an unlikely friendship that surprises everyone, but once they stop to think about it, it just makes sense for them to click - at least with the façades they present to the world.

No matter how hard he tries to rebrand, DJSS knows that he'll always be a teacher at heart. Not necessarily a good one, but a teacher anyway.

TOOK ME FUCKING YEARS TO GET TO THIS POINT BUT ANYWAY.

I really like that one post I saw through the NSR tag about how DJSS makes sense as the tutorial boss because he used to be a teacher, we can assume that there was a time in his life where he loved to teach and shape the minds of the future generations. It's a little meta connection that makes sense to me!

And I like to think that this is something that DJSS can't ever get rid of - the need to just teach. It can come across as DJSS not being able to shut his mouth when it comes to telling people why they're wrong and why he's right, but at the end of the day, he's still trying to clarify misconceptions and teach others new things. It just happens through layers and layers of his condescending attitude.

Of course, this also doesn't apply to just teaching, it applies to learning as well.

DJSS strikes me as someone curious and very driven, instead of asking others why, he sets out to find out answers himself - either because it's easier and faster, because he has something to prove, because of he's so full of autism and hyperfixates easily or whatever other reasoning you like the most.

I like the idea of a DJSS who knows his worth and knows he shouldn't bother trying to argue with people who clearly don't care about facts, logic and research, let alone putting the effort to learn or have an open mind - those simpletons who aren't worth his time - but still struggles with keeping his mouth shut.

During his boss fight, he immediately dismisses B2J because they're small fry, they're not even here for him, they're here for inconsequential reasons that he doesn't have time for. Why should he even entertain them? AND THEN HE DOES. HE GETS RILED UP AND JUST GOES ON TO TALK ABOUT HIS ENDEAVORS AND GOALS ANYWAY.

He REALLY reads as a guy who makes the funniest of jokes and can't help but explain them anyway - and he gets away with it most of the time.

Very organized, detail-oriented person, loves routine and to plan things beforehand. DJSS cannot stand spontaneous decisions and has a hard time adapting to sudden changes.

Sometimes it might be easy to forget that DJSS is most likely the smartest member of NSR as a whole, specifically because of the way he acts and presents himself typically - even if he makes a point of constantly reminding others of his intellect and academic achievements. But! Nothing escapes DJSS' keen vision.

Out of other members of NSR, Tatiana trusts DJSS the most to keep up with his responsibilities as charter and many other projects benefitial for the company, like the rocket launch! He's proven time and time again that he's more than competent to be left to his own devices. Even if he doesn't care much for the other megastars, he still shows up on time for meetings and speaks his mind on things that need addressing (that he considers worth addressing, at least), never pulling his punches when offering his opinion.

Literally that kind of annoying coworker that loves to nitpick and someone you don't get along with but who makes the best points and arguments ever.

I like to think this is reflected in his position in Vinyl City - he's the furthest away from the NSR Tower, because he requires little to no supersion at all. He's also closest to the heart of Vinyl City: Festival Plaza and the Grand Qwasa, maybe because he can absolutely take care of any problems that might arise with it.

Even if he's extremely dismissive, DJSS does remember the people he works with - mostly based on their skills and how useful they are, just so he can know who to send away and who to keep around. He doesn't remember your name, but he remembers that you're competent enough to do a quick check on his turntables or other equipment. That sort of thing.

DJSS likes when things go his way, the way he expects things to be, the way he planned them out to be. He thinks of every possible outcome and prepares for it, without going overboard as to hinder his progress. So he can live with someone on his team messing up the rocket launch procedure - because that was already something he expected that would happen, even if he throws a little fit about it. But he can't deal with suddenly being told that someone else will handle the rocket launch entirely - because that's just not a possibility in his mind.

I can see DJSS being a fan of to-do lists or spreadsheets to stay on top of his game. He doesn't need them, he remembers everything he needs to, but hey, it's a fun flex!

I also just remembered one of the interactable things in Cast Tech - a drone that Zuke comments on, saying:

 "It must have crashed from all the conflicting signals. DJ Subatomic Supernova really likes the idea of blasting his signal into space..."

Which makes me think that yes, DJSS is great at solving things, he's careful and meticulous, doing anything to ensure his success in whatever he sets out to do - but his tunnel vision makes him careless enough to overlook some of the most obvious things in the world. Like how blasting his own signal might disrupt every other drone in the city or mess with other machines.

And this whole point is totally not me subtly trying to write DJSS in a way that compliments the way I perceive Neon J because I think the ship is fun and their dynamic is even funnier, absoluTELY NOT LETS MOVE ON

Cast Tech is the most academic district in Vinyl City. Basically paradise for nerds.

The same way Eve supports the arts in Dream Fever by having a lot of galleries and art studios, it makes sense that DJSS would support academic endeavors by having schools and other academic institutions, funding people's research and etc. It's another little thing that ties in with his background as a teacher.

In-game, Cast Tech is basically a short main road with two or three paths that lead to small areas. It's very lackluster compared to the rest of districts and I blame that on the way the game is structured, showing the boss first and then the district - plus the fact that DJSS is the tutorial boss so by proxy, he gets less content. But it's serviceable enough for the main plot in the game, which is to show us that NSR can be superficial, shallow and careless company.

And I'd like to argue that, maybe, the area Mayday and Zuke go through within Cast Tech, is not meant to be representative of the entire district. It feels more like an area meant for tourists or general NSR propaganda that ended up flopping massively because people weren't that interested?

DJSS is a megastar, sure, but he's not shown being that much of a public figure outside of advertisement. Compare him to any other member - Sayu and 1010's popularity rely on their fanbase, because they're public figures. Eve is an artist, we also see her dabble in all types of art, not just music, even fashion! Yinu is a literal child, but she's still in advertisements for healthy food and drinks.

Did you notice how Cast Tech and Club Planetarium are the only places that lack NPCs? Unique NPCs to be more exact, like Celine in Dream Fever, Mia in Festival Plaza, Yiruk in Metro Division, etc. People who most likely live there?

Once again, DJSS is an outlier. It makes sense to me that, even though this area has a statue of him and a store selling products based on him, literally just revolving around him, playing his advertisements and etc it's not... That important overall within his district. Even the Planetarium where he hosts concerts has a bunch of small stores outside, nothing grand. Even though it's HIS district, he's NOT the focus, ironically.

I would love to get into details about how the actual district works and what goes around, but I dropped out of my bachelor's degree and I don't know enough about science to get super in-depth about it! So anyone who DOES know or wants to develop this more, feel free!

[sugar-phoenix]

Helloooo, sugar or phoenix! Everyone loves tropes, but I bet as a romantasy writer, you have some particular tropes that you really love.

What are some of your favourite tropes, whether to read or to write, that always just get your brain whirring?

Hello, thanks for asking! <3

I think, for writing, my favorite tropes would be:

Yin/Yang // opposite types -- I'm not sure if there's another name but it's like where the love interests are on two opposite sides of a spectrum, usually I like writing opposing magic systems and placing the two love interests at either ends of that.

Forced proximity/arranged marriage -- I like writing/reading this trope especially when the two characters don't exactly like each other or don't trust each other (but are forced to due to the circumstances).

Revenge? Vengeance? I love writing that kind of angsty stuff. Main character taking revenge for a loved one, main character being betrayed and taking revenge against the person who betrayed them, etc. etc. Bitter emotions that turn into passionate acts always get me.

As for reading... there are tropes that really get me going that aren't actually in the realm of romantasy!

Enemies to lovers, forced proximity, only one bed -- these are all the classic romantasy stuff that I will absolutely eat up.

Heist trope -- I LOVE heists. I love stuff like Six of Crows and Ocean's 11 -- the orchestrated plan and execution seriously make me sit up and want to write something related.

Doomed by the plot/doomed by fate -- I really like stuff like when a character tries to work against fate and they just don't succeed in getting their goal, but they also don't fail either -- but a different Third™️ option where they finally understand that they cannot get to that goal because their character has developed tenfold and they finally accept it (bonus points for angst if they sacrifice themselves).

In the same vein, I love self-fulfilling prophecies. Like, maybe it was a prophecy and everyone's fighting against it yet everything they're doing only moves the prophecy along -- OR maybe it was never a prophecy! Maybe it was just a rumor of a prophecy, or a prophecy that was made up, but because so many people believe in it, it fulfilled itself. That stuff really gets me, I eat it up.

Here are some other stuff that I love reading/writing:

Animal tropes. I'm not sure if this counts as a trope, but if a character is part animal, or an animal shifter, or has powers related to communication with animals, any of that -- love. Love reading it, love consuming media with those kinds of stuff in it, love writing it. I've always loved animals and drawing metaphors from people to animals and just -- anything like that.

Dark Academia.

Dark fantasy -- I love the angst factor in these, and I enjoy both reading and writing them.

Natural magic powers i.e. drawing powers from objects in the natural world, like gems, or moonlight/starlight, or plants, or blood/bones, etc. etc. These have so much potential for metaphors as well, like linking the idea of blood being a natural life force and making a character who has blood magic someone who really enjoys life and all it has to offer and maybe they don't like giving up on their pleasures in order to fight for a better cause (but they will have to anyway, cause you gotta fight your character flaw in order to grow).

Did I mention metaphors. I love metaphors and drawing real life functions to personalities and character flaws and that sort of stuff. Like making a "fox" character tricky, or making a tiger character someone who loves water and maybe wants to become a pirate (!! upcoming fiction?) -- anything like that. I especially like metaphors that aren't your standard cliche ones. For example, maybe you make a character with water powers one who is highly manipulative and finds themselves in everyone's weak crack, driving everyone to pieces -- because although we associate water with life and healing, water also erodes mountains and earth and rock. Things like that -- I love finding new ways to interpret things.

There's probably a lot more that I haven't mentioned but I think these are the things that I really, really love. Thanks so much for asking again! <3