#i just find studying religious beliefs very fun and very interesting as an expression of the human condition

[i-eat-deodorant]

Tell me about your onions.

here's an onion. i'm so funny.

ahem.

ok real talk though i've been doing a couple brief dives into the reincarnation aspect of buddhism/hinduism, which haven't been super applicable to COTL so far. which is a shame, bc it has such an interesting take on rebirth and resurrection within the nature of religion.

in COTL, death is seen as semi-permanent and a boon. lamb uses it to their advantage via the nature of game protagonists being able to restart from a save point when they died. the ritual of resurrection is groundbreaking for followers, and i headcanon that the ritual of rebirth is the main reason why TOWW got imprisoned. it is very much a loaded gun in the COTL world.

but buddhism treats rebirth as not only a nature of living, but something that needs to be escaped from. literally something that one must fight to be unshackled from, to break past samsara and reach ascension via nirvana. it's such an interesting viewpoint to consider and explore, especially bc my interpretation of lamb has them never being willing to become this resurrecting figure in the first place. as much as the red crown has been a boon for them, it's also acted as a bind. they will always have both their mortal and godly vices.

in both hinduism and buddhism there are multiple schools of thought that tackle the continuuity of resurrection, aka "what is carried over when one is reborn?"

now suppose narinder did not carry everything he had as TOWW to his mortal form. what is lost, and what is gained?

if i were to adapt samsara into my cotl fics i'd focus less on actual death and more on metaphorical ones. which, ok bear with me here, is a huge part of my personal philosophy.

humans are not static; we grow and develop, and in doing so we shed prior versions of ourselves like metamorphosis. a sort of ego death lite, if you will. when faced with a traumatic event, the person you once were is not the same as the person you are now. that is the kind of metaphorical death i'm talking about; the death of a former self.

but what exactly marks the new self and the old self? nothing, theoretically. we can make the boundary as low or as high as we want.

consider the ship of theseus: if a huge portion of my body is replaced every 7 years, can i definitely say i am who i was 7 years ago? what part of identity and self stays constant, when my personality's changed drastically? am i a stranger with the memories of someone else?

now narrow the boundary. if the self is physically static, then every time a cell dies, the self dies.

using that technical definition, technically i die and am reborn every single second. a metaphorical death and a metaphorical rebirth, and what gets carried over?

something something life and death are two sides of the coin of change.

that's why i kinda keep emphasizing lamb's impostor syndrome crisis about themselves dying in both soul and body during the execution. that's why i divide narinder's life into such stark epochs (mortal, bishop, imprisoned, mortal again). that's why i love treating their afterlife not as a continuity of their character development, but a second chance. ship of theseus, broken down and rebuilt anew.

it's not nirvana. but it's making the best out of your own personal samsara.

and just. there's something so poetic about narinder and lamb reincarnating as gods of death, because the only way to die repeatedly is to live again after each one. a taste of permanence in the impermanent, without ever reaching that finality that they embody as gods. they represent the very thing they are and aren't. it's a paradox that makes perfect sense the moment you remove the black-and-white boundary of life/death that dictates they must be opposites.

and this is what i love exploring. breaking down the barriers of identity and death in the metaphysical sense, in two characters who are defined by so much loss in their lives. (metaphorical) death, treated as redemption, treated as healing.

lamb, offering a hand up to a newly reborn narinder. i died, i got up, and i live.

[ordulotusspa]

The Thing About Myths — A Rant

This is a very complex topic. It is a topic I personally hate, and a topic that represents a barrier in the community. It is irritating, but it is necessary we address it. 

Myths are interesting sources of inspiration. They are interesting types of literature and they are impactful in each culture, a big part of what makes a culture what it is. Myths come in many ways; they are narratives that can express any truth, idea, or value a certain society holds. And sometimes they tell us a great deal about the idiosyncrasy of a people, which is incredibly useful for historians and sociologists. Myths can also be fun, but sometimes they can become... a tedious topic. In a religious level, I have noticed, myths can be come a hindrance between the devotee and the divine. 

In our path, myths are an important part of the history of our practices. Sometimes myths tells us about the way ancestors related to divinity, and the type of relationship they had. However, I must draw a line between myth as a form of exposition, and myth as a form of ��truth”, to put it in some way. 

Let me be more direct: people fear the Gods because of their myths. They resent the Gods because of their myths. They adore the Gods because of their myths. Or they outright disrespect the Gods, and their devotees, because of their myths. 

A thing must be established very clearly right now: myths are not truth. Paganism is not known for being part of a tradition of “revelation”. The stories and the narratives we tell about our Gods, are ours. They’re not theirs. Anyone can write or rewrite a myth, and that doesn’t mean the thing they’re telling is a revelation from the Muses or a truth about the Gods. Mostly myths come from oral traditions, and they are deeply ingrained within the cultures that birth them; they change and evolve, they get adapted, their meaning and significance often changes as well. Myths are more cultural phenomena than religious revelation. 

Let me put it another way. In our western cultural background, dominated by religions of revelation (the abrahamic tradition), we are accustomed to seeing people belonging to these religions argue about their beliefs in reference to their myths, or their books of revelations. We often see them quoting them, and retelling the stories told there with passion, taking them as guidelines in their relationship to the divine. This is completely fine for them because that’s part of their tradition; that’s their method, and it serves a purpose in their spiritual path. However, this does not happen in paganism. 

Pagan religions do not have a book of revelations. In antiquity, the people who believed to hold absolute knowledge of the divine and preached it based on myths were mostly considered charlatans, or not taken very seriously. This is because in antiquity philosophy had the dominance over religious studies, and the philosophies available at the time considered myths to hold hidden meanings about the nature of the Gods. For example, Plotinus argued that one must not take myths in a literal way, but read them carefully and think about them metaphorically so that one could unlock the full meaning of their symbols, which often led towards a kind of platonic conclusion. Sallustius (a philosopher from the tradition of Julian, allegedly Julian himself) talks of myths as being important to our relationship with the Gods, but he doesn’t talk about that as myths being revelations, or prompting us to take everything a myth says as truth about the Gods. Sallustius was very well aware of the bad reputation myths give the Gods. They are rapists, thieves, cheaters, liars, and they often act cruelly and violently. However, because we worship the Gods, and that means being devoted to them, and that requires some level of loyalty and disposition towards them, then we must interpret these conflicting stories as more meaningful than just superficially immoral. Thus, the conflicting actions of the Gods in myths have been regarded as symbols of deeper ideas even before Plato, and even by the Stoics, and the Pythagoreans, and the Aristotelians, and what more. Even the Orphics themselves didn’t regard their myths as literal truth: one of the things one learned when being initiated was the “actual” interpretation of the superficial myth, which was more symbolic.

So this is the thing. Myths can illustrate philosophical ideas if we consider looking at them under the surface. Myths can tell us about a people’s specific values and customs depending on history. Myths can be enjoyable and fun. However, myths shouldn’t pose a conflict in our worship. 

You can do as you please with myths. You can follow Plotinus’ advice and have them be symbolical. Or you can ignore them altogether, as I do (I acknowledge the importance of myth in the plotinian tradition, but I just find them entertaining and that’s it, I don’t have enough interest in them to study them further). Or, alright, you can believe the myths and the actions of the Gods there as true in the context of our path. But then... ask yourself one thing: why would you want to worship the Gods? If you take myths as a guiding tool in your practice, and you do believe Zeus is a rapist, and Athena is an unfair bitch, and Aphrodite is a vane whore, and anything else, then... what’s the point of you praying? What’s the point of you having an altar? What’s the point of you wanting to connect to the divine through the figures of these Gods?

I mean, okay, I concede you can avoid worshipping the deities that you find to be morally conflicting altogether. But trust me; you will find immoral stories about every deity. You say, “alright, I will avoid worshipping the rapist and instead worship Hades, who is not like Zeus.” Surprise. You will come accross a myth that tells something conflicting about Hades. I promise. I don’t know any (because as I said, I ignore myths), but I PROMISE there is one. And you then will have to go through the burden of reexamining your relationship with Hades, the ways in which you disaprove of his actions in said myth, and perhaps even come to end your worship. Is this the type of path you want to walk? A path of fearing the Gods, of avoiding them, of praying to them to “stay away” from you? Really? 

OR you could just acknowledge that myths are not real. They are fiction. The Gods never commit the actions told there. Zeus never came down to earth in the form of rain to get Danae pregnant. Hera never actually made Heracles’ life impossible because of jealousy and rage. Aphrodite and Persephone never actually fought over Adonis. Apollo never really killed Orion or stalked Daphne. It didn’t happen. It couldn’t have happened, realistically speaking. So why do you believe it? Why do you choose to fear these Gods? You could simply take a myth and say, “well... this is bad. This does not align with my moral values. Good thing this is just a story rewritten by Ovid and not actual record of the activity of the Gods”. 

Myths tells us more about ourselves than about the Gods. Do not put yourself in the burden of having to hate the Gods because of their actions in stories. Do not be so immature and absorbed by our culture’s arrogance and end up “cancelling” the Gods for things a man wrote 2000+ years ago based on traditional stories, thinking of poetry and art, and not of religion. 

Stop fearing Zeus. Stop fearing Apollo. Stop fearing Hera and Athena. These Gods are much more than just figures that perform the worst acts of humanity. Give yourself the chance to have meaningful and loving relationships with them, and let others have that as well. 

I hope this post serves its purpose. 

[ambrosiaicecreem]

93 fun OC asks because why not (PT 1/2)

i’m splitting this up cus its a LOT, but it’s gonna be all 93 LMAO. courtesy of @lazysunjade. this one’s for YOU! 

BASICS:

1. What is their gender?

Cis Male 

2. What is their sexuality?

Bisexual

3. What is the meaning behind their name? Do they have any nicknames? 

Silas means “the youngest”.. which is ironic really since he’s the oldest. He doesn’t really have many nicknames. He’s either just referred to by his first name or last name. 

4. Do they have any siblings? How many? Are they older or younger? Which sibling are they the closest with? 

Silas only has one sibling: Marcus. Silas is older than Marcus by about 4 years, but despite the age difference they are incredibly close with each other. Marcus is Silas’ best friend, without a doubt about it. 

5. What’s their relationship with their parents like? What about other relatives? 

Silas was incredibly close with both of his parents while they were both still alive. His only other known relatives were his maternal grandparents, and he also had a positive relationship with them before they died. He had no other living known relatives. 

6. What would they give their life for? 

His family. No hesitation. Whether its for his brother or his kids, if he had to make the decision to sacrifice himself for their safety, he would do it.

7. Are they in a romantic relationship? With who? How did they meet? 

Silas is/was(?) in a relationship with Miss Camellia Pineda. It’s a bit complicated at this point in time but you can reread how they met here! 

8. What do they believe will happen to them after they die? Does this belief scare them? 

Part of him still believes in the old Greek myths of departing to the Underworld. But another part of him believes that nothing will really happen, considering he already had his second chance to experience something out of death and all as a vampire. It’s unsettling to him, to say the least. 

9. What is their favorite color? Favorite animal? 

He really likes deep shades of red. His favorite animal has always been the Black-Winged Kite, a small bird of prey that’s native to Greece. 

10. What are some of their talents/skills? 

Silas is a master of the arts. Throughout his whole existence, he’s studied multiple art forms, but the one’s he’s perfected are painting and sculpture. Besides that, he’s very proficient with hand-to-hand combat, specifically Pankration which is the Greek form of martial arts. He has an almost perfect memory, which comes from his special talent of being able to project his memories. 

11. If they could make a mark on history, what would they like it to be? 

He honestly really wouldn’t want to change much, but maybe he’d like to be credited for a certain famous sculpture that he made that doesn’t have a “known artist”. 

12. How old are they? When is their birthday? 

Silas is 2,346 years old and his birthday is March 20th. 

13. What do they do for fun? 

Silas likes to create art, whether its painting or sculpting something. He also really likes to read history books. He was asleep for a good portion of it, so he likes to read up on what he missed.  

14. What is their favorite food? How often do they get to eat it? 

Silas is honestly really simple when it comes to human food. He likes freshly made loaves of bread. He doesn’t eat it often, simply because of how specific he likes it. Its more of a special treat whenever he’s in the mood to make it himself. 

15. What was something their parents taught them? 

Silas learned how to tie simple sailors knots from his father at a young age, meanwhile he learned how to bake bread from his mother. 

16. Are they religious? 

In a way, he is still. He does believe in the Greek pantheon to an extent. With his rebirth as a vampire, he isn’t 100% sure anymore, but he tries not to think too hard on it at times. When it comes to practicing his religion, he makes offerings to the gods with every new season that comes. 

17. Where were they born?

Athens, Greece

18. What languages can they speak? Where did they learn these languages? 

Silas can fluently speak Greek, English, Spanish, and Italian. He learned Greek from his human life. When he woke up from his hibernation, he learned English, Spanish, and Italian over a span of 100 years from traveling and attending university. 

19. What is their occupation?

Technically, he has none. He doesn’t necessarily need to work, but he does take freelance art jobs from the city whenever they’d like something from him. 

20. Do they have any titles? How did they earn them? 

No titles.. yet. 

PERSONALITY: 

21. What is their favorite thing about their personality? 

He likes how patient he can be. His patience has been a gift, really, in moments of high stress and it really could have drastically changed things if he didn’t have it. 

22. What is their least favorite thing about their personality?

He’s got the good ol “Montolvo Hot-Head” trait. It takes a lot to get him genuinely angry, but when he gets mad.. he gets MAD. He’s almost blind to it and reacts entirely all on emotions, as seen when he punishes all three of his kids for something only one of them did. 

23. Do they get lonely easily?

I’d say he does. Especially with how attached he’s gotten to Camellia in such a short amount of time. 

24. Do you know their MBTI type? 

I think Silas would be ISFJ: the Defender. Protective, warm, and caring. 

25. What is their biggest flaw? & 26. Are they aware of their flaws?

He’s too forgiving, almost to the point of being a total pushover. He’s taken a lot of shit, specifically just from his ex-wife Serafina, but he still gave her the courtesy of explaining herself to their kids instead of just telling them himself. In hindsight, he shouldn’t be giving so many chances to people who’ve only proven to continuously fuck him over. He is WELL AWARE of his flaws, and he’s taken responsibility for them.

27. What is their biggest strength? & 28. Are they aware of their strengths? 

His sense of loyalty. Whether its to his family or someone who he’d consider as family, if he’s needed, he’ll be there. He’s aware of it, but he tries to humble himself and doesn’t really focus his attention on it that much. He’d much rather focus on improving his flaws. 

29. How would they describe their own personality? 

“Loyal, Protective... and boring.”

30. When frightened, will they resort to “fight” or “flight”? 

It’s sorta a case by case thing, but he’s more flight than fight simply because of how strict vampire rules are in New Brando. 

31. Does this character ever put somebody else’s needs before their own? Who do they do this for? How often do they do this?

uh, ALWAYS. He ALWAYS does this. He’s always putting other people before himself. He does it ESPECIALLY with his family and Camellia now. 

32. What is their self esteem like? 

He’s got a pretty average level self esteem. He doesn’t necessarily consider himself all that good-looking or interesting. He’s only recently gotten a confidence boost ever since he started dating Camellia. 

33. What is their biggest fear? How would they react to having to face it? 

His biggest fear is losing his kids. If he even loses ONE of them, he won’t be able to handle it. His guilt would consume him, and honestly, he’d probably just lose himself in order to be with them again. 

34. How easily do they trust others with their secrets? With their lives? 

Silas doesn’t really trust others with his secrets all that much. I mean look how long it took just for him to reveal the truth about the divorce. He’s the same way with his life. He only trusts a select few with that as well. 

35. What is the easiest way to annoy them? 

Just by being overly obnoxious and in his personal space. 

36. What is their sense of humor like? Give an example of a joke they would find humorous. 

“Dad, did you get a haircut?” “No, I got them all cut!”  He’s a dad. Dad humor is in his blood at this point. 

37. How easy is it for them to say “I love you”? Do they say it without meaning it? 

Silas will only say “I love you” to someone that ISN’T his family if he GENUINELY means it. If he doesn’t feel it from the instant spark, then odds are he’s not going to ever really come to say it. 

38. What do others admire most about their personality? 

He wears his heart on his sleeve. He’s extremely open to others and caring and protective.  

39. What does their happily ever after look like?

Well I can’t just spoil that. It’s gonna be the ending! 

40. Who do they trust most? Is that trust mutual? 

Marcus, Angelina, and Camellia. That trust is all mutual. 

PHYSICAL PROFILE: 

41. What does their laugh sound like? Do they snort when they laugh? How often do they laugh? 

Silas has this kind of hearty laugh. Its very warm and inviting. He’s been laughing a lot more lately with Camellia being a sort of light in his life. 

42 & 43. What is their favorite & least favorite thing about their physical appearance? 

He likes his hair. He thinks its the most interesting thing about himself, physically. He doesn’t really have a least favorite thing about his appearance? He just considers himself to be really average for the most part. 

44. Do they have any scars? If so, what are the stories behind those scars? 

He does not have any real noticeable scars. 

45. How would they describe their own appearance? 

“Tall, a bit on the skinnier side, and boring clothes.”

46. How easily can they express emotions? How easily can they hide emotions? 

He tends to wear his emotions on his face really easily. He knows how to hide them though, but he chooses not to. 

[admutual]

What do you think Roger’s childhood was like up in space?

oh god , i sdknsdkj have Some hcs for his childhood ,, but my hcs are kinda messy, so i’ll try to word this the best i can.

i’ll start with his relationship with his parents since i got a Lot to say here.

for starters,, his childhood was mostly ,, hh Not Great.

his mother was controlling, emotionally abusive, neglectful, and highly manipulative. she also kept roger a shut-in most of his childhood, so roger never really gained proper social skills and had to rely on her as his only source of interpersonal contact. she had this habit of bullying him and putting him down and just destroying his self-esteem, before softening up and drawing him back in with a faux sense of compassion and gentleness (she def tried to convince him that she was the only one who could possibly love him). she was sorta a ‘zira meets mother gothel meets rainflower from warrior cats, with a little frollo mixed in’ type. she was a mess.

his dad on the other hand was emotionally distant and absent and just utterly disinterested in roger, and the few times he was around he was loud, aggressive, and prone to fits of anger. he was also highly religious and it Showed. i don’t have the actual complete details for the religion he followed, all i really have is most of my inspiration for it stems from a lot of xenofiction i read (lapine mythology from watership down, starclan from warrior cats, the spirituality from tailchaser’s song ,, i’m like physically unable to make non-human creatures without drawing inspiration from xenofiction) and that roger definitely experiences some religious trauma from him.

his parents fought a Lot. and it did a number on roger,, kinda why i like to believe he’s so desperate for drama, it’s all he’s known and the peace of quiet living is unnerving to him.

roger was desperate to be on his parents’ good sides. his mother was unpredictable in this regard in that she bounced back and forth between being gentle and kind before switching to verbal abuse and aggression. his dad though never expressed any positive feelings for roger. rog tried really hard to earn his dad’s affection, but after he got older and started to realize that that just wasn’t gonna happen, his tone toward him shifted to disdain. it definitely helped that his mother was loud in her distaste for his father too and through her aforementioned behavior managed to keep roger on her side through it all. if his mom hated someone, roger did too.

that whole thing about roger eating his dad,, ye . gonna make that Edgier let’s go. i like to imagine it was long after roger had accepted that his dad sucked, he was alone with him, he got pushed a little too far, and he just snapped, killing him. as for the cannibalism thing, that religion i mentioned earlier? i still don’t have much details, but one thing i Do know is that one important belief in this religion is how their bodies are handled after death and it’s very important that funeral services are handled accordingly,, shit like don’t touch the body with bare skin after the passing, their grave must be lined with bark and leaves from a specific type of tree, no visiting the burial site for a set period of time after burial, etc. so roger, being the dramatic extreme petty bitch he is, decided to give one last ‘fuck you’ to his dad by eating him instead to fuck up the burial process. we love taking a generic primetime sitcom and making it edgier than it needs to be.

i kinda like to imagine roger’s relationships with his parents heavily influenced his relationship with stan and francine too:

for stan’s side, roger felt that stan reminded him a lot of his own father. like i said, roger felt a heavy resentment towards his father, and after coming to earth and finding he was going to be living with someone who all too closely resembled him, he put his foot down and refused to allow himself to keel over to what felt like mistreatment from him.

when roger first started to get to know stan, all he saw in him initially was the same anger and neglect he got from his own father, and in turn went out of his way to lash out and harass him as sort of a cathartic defense. but then time went on, the two started to see each other on their own level, and roger realized how stan below the surface was far from how his dad was, and he warmed up enough to view him as a close friend. i kinda like to think roger softened up to stan after finding out about jack too, as you know he could relate to him having a shitty neglectful dad himself.

as for francine, roger was drawn to her for the opposite reason in that she was nothing like his mom. roger was a total mama’s boy back home, like i said she kept him shut-in during his childhood to where she was the only one he could rely on. even after coming to earth, roger was still under the impression that she truly loved him and he had a habit of getting overly defensive of her (klaus makes a ‘your mom’ joke and roger’s in tears screaming at him to take it back). he started to question some of her treatment towards him the longer he stayed, especially with the more families he got close to where he got to observe other people’s parental relationships, but never enough to have an epiphany that she sucked. it wasn’t until after the events of ‘weiner of our discontent’ that he finally started to actively reflect on his past life on his home planet, now that he knew he was stuck on earth to stay, and he finally accepted that his mom wasn’t good to him.

as for how this influenced his relationship with francine, like i said francine was way different from roger’s mom. initially roger was super uncomfortable every time she treated him kindly and gently. he sorta held back from getting too close for a good month or two because he didn’t know which of her behavior was genuine and what was just a facade. but time went on, he decided to trust her by letting down his guard and allowing her to get close, and now the two are as tight-knit as can be. and roger’s still a total mama’s boy with her sometimes. also the aforementioned religious trauma roger experienced,, i like to believe that also drew him closer to francine after hearing her experiences growing up. roger’s just Shared Trauma Buddies with everyone.

anyways after years of constant abuse and neglect, he eventually finds a family that loves him unconditionally and he’s finally allowed to rest. i’m a slut for the ‘earn your happy ending’ trope and i’m pushing that onto roger.

(actually one last thing ,, this isn’t a set-in-stone hc, i’m not sure if i’m gonna keep it, but i like to bounce around the idea that maybe the reason his parents were so awful to him is because they believed he was responsible for a sibling’s death. like roger when he really little was out playing on the ice, things Went Wrong and it shattered, his older sib leaped in to rescue him, but things Went Even More Wrong, and his sibling managed to save him but not themself. and his parent’s (or at least his mom since i like to imagine his dad just from the start was pretty distant) immediately placed the blame on roger and never forgave. like i said idk if i’m gonna keep it as a hc, but whatevs thought i’d mention it anyway since the topic of roger’s childhood’s brought up)

and now that that’s done, the other stuff.

i like to believe because of roger’s kind’s practice of abduction, they have a decent enough study on various other planet’s species. and roger, from a young age, immediately built up a fascination with humans. he spent hours reading and rereading every study and book he could find on them. when he was given the choice to be The Decider, it was a complete dream come true for him, not only because he found what he felt was his life’s purpose, but also because he could finally study up close a species he’s admired all his life. (also once roger landed on earth his interest in humans quickly shifted from an ‘idk i just think they’re cute and fun and interesting creatures!!’ to an ‘oh fuck . o h god … humans are Hot what the hell ….’ like i make jokes about how ‘oh haha steve’s an alien fucker lol’ but tbh ……. roger’s the alien fucker in the relationship.)

bouncing off that, they definitely don’t have english as their main language. that’s always been a trope that’s annoyed me, the whole ‘every alien just inexplicably speaks english by default and can communicate with humans fluently’ trope. because of that, i like to believe roger self-taught himself multiple languages through earthling test subjects, listening to audio recordings and such. he wasn’t completely fluent, but it was enough that he could at least communicate enough once he landed on earth. and as for the mothership featured in ‘lost in space’,, hc that it’s installed with a universal translator. still kinda a lazy cop-out i guess, but whatever.

roger’s always been ,, idk,, softer than his species. not in an ‘uwu he’s actually a total sweetheart’ kinda way, but just in that unlike most of his kind, he can experience compassion (it’s rare and his conscience is still really weak, and empathy is still completely foreign to him, but he does experience compassion for those he allows to get close to him like the smiths), he’s always been too sensitive compared to most of his kind, he’s too emotionally-driven, he latches onto others and cares to much what others think of him, just a bunch of things that to most of his peers made him come across as ‘weaker’.

roger picked his own name!! i don’t really care for the trope of aliens having generic western names, so my hc is that when roger’s kind are born they’re given a placeholder name (or a title or something) and then they’re allowed to pick whatever name they want as they get older, which often times is influenced by other species. like i said earlier, roger’s always had a fascination with humans, and i like to think he decided to name himself after an abduction victim he read up on.

once roger was able to distance himself from his mom and was allowed on his own, he was a constant traveller, both in the sense of journeying across his home planet, and in finding any way possible to travel to other planets. sitting still for too long bored him and he needed to explore every possible place he could.

liste n ,,,,, roger loved building snowmen growing up. the few times he got the chance to get out was always spent building them and creating personalities for them. and he still finds himself building them on earth sometimes.

roger’s always loved reading. he can’t count how many times he flew through all the books they had around the house. and even now he just . really loves to read and can power through massive books in a matter of hours.

he loves watching the snow fall and blizzards always brought him a lot of comfort.

that whole thing about roger’s kind being 60% electricity? roger had a lot of trouble controlling excess electricity as a kid. his parents weren’t good teachers, so he just had a habit of accidentally jolting others on accident, sometimes while reading he’d get too excited and accidentally singe the papers a little, he was always pretty shaky as a kid just from how much electricity he had coursing through his body that he had zero clue how to process safely.

roger’s tendency towards playing characters came at a young age. he was always running around the house playing pretend as multiple characters and that habit just never went away.

i like to imagine roger enjoyed building little dens in the snow to chill in. for his kind, children tend to build snow dens to function in the same way human kids build treehouses,, just to vibe with their friends. and on earth sometimes during the winter roger will decide to build a den in the backyard and spend some of his nights down there.

roger’s kind love swimming. probably one of their more popular sports, hell some of them even choose to fish for their own food in the same way seals do. roger though? terrified of the water. nowadays he’s okay with it (still prefers to avoid it for the most part though), but as a kid it was one of his worst fears.

i feel like there’s something i’m missing? idk, this is long enough though so i’ll stop jsdgndks.

[stusbunker]

Dr. Emery Simmons-Winchester

Hey guys! An ask post got me thinking about my girl Emery from my Sam series For Better or Worst.

So I decided to fill out the questions about her, in case you’re interested since a lot of her background has been kept as only small glimpses due to the plot so far. Here are those questions from the ASK POST. (Since I know no one would actually send me asks, especially about OCs.)

Basics:

1. What is their gender?

Female

2. What is their sexuality?

Heterosexual

3. What is the meaning behind their name? Do they have any nicknames?

Meaning: Derived from Emmerich, which can mean brave and powerful. Also a hard, dark substance (i.e. emery boards)

Sam calls her ‘Em’ and ‘Baby’

Georgie used to call her Mama E

4. Do they have any siblings? How many? Are they older or younger?  Which sibling are they the closest with?

She has an older half brother that she isn’t close with, but that’s just because he lived across the country from her and her son.

5. What’s their relationship with their parents like? What about other relatives?

Emery loved her parents to the ends of the earth. Though her dad wasn’t always around, his parents helped raise her. She was by her mother’s side when she died from cancer.

6. What would they give their life for?

Georgie. And redemption. Though there are others that she cares for and her dedication to them will be tested deeply soon.

7. Are they in a romantic relationship? With who? How did they meet?

Is an arranged marriage romantic? I guess it depends on who you ask. She is currently married to Sam Winchester. They met via some shady dealings from one Naomi, Angel of the Lord.

8. What do they believe will happen to them after they die? Does this belief scare them?

Can I laugh at how deep we are getting in the “Basics” section of this?! Like, damn and then the next question is like a Teen Bop quiz.

Emery believes in Heaven, Hell, and Purgatory. She grew as a psychic, knowing the world as it exists on the show. She still believes the angels are on humanity’s side and are her path to forgiveness, if not salvation.

9. What is their favorite color? Favorite animal?

Emery likes rich earth tones with some gold in for accents. She looks good in just about anything though.

10. What are some of their talents/skills?

She is a medieval history professor, and an outstanding lecturer. She reads people really well, even after losing her psychic powers. She has a decent singing voice. Is an amazing mom. And when she makes up her mind to do something, she follows through. Very hard to change her mind or challenge her moral compass.

11. If they could make a mark on history, what would they like it to be?

Just that the world was better, in any small way, from her influence.

12. How old are they? When is their birthday?

She is 39, born January 16, 1981.

13. What do they do for fun?

Read. Play with her dog Bandit. Go for walks. Listen to music. She used to mess with people who didn’t know she was psychic, but nothing malicious just little things that would stump strangers. She also used to play video games with Georgie.

14. What is their favorite food? How often do they get to eat it?

Potatoes in all of their glorious forms. She also love Cajun cuisine. She isn’t much of a cook, because she never had time to go all out. But french fries are easy enough to come by!

15. What was something their parents taught them?

That no matter who you are, you have a place in this world and a job to do.

Family always comes first.

16. Are they religious?

Yes, but most of the strict devotion rose from the death of her son.

17. Where were they born?

Gary, Indiana

18. What languages can they speak? Where did they learn these languages?

Different dialects of American English. She can read Old English and Middle English from her years of study.

Latin, from high school and some college.

19. What is their occupation?

Currently a professor, formerly a part-time psychic.

20. Do they have any titles? How did they earn them?

She has a PHD in History and a Masters in Education. Dr. Simmons-Winchester if you’d like. ;)

Personality:

21. What is their favorite thing about their personality?

She appreciates her own snark, when it comes out.

22. What is their least favorite thing about their personality?

Her psychic upbringing game her a lot of empathy for others. She hates how weak that makes her seem.

23. Do they get lonely easily?

No, she keeps too busy to feel lonely. Her son was always enough for her... until she found Sam.

24. Do you know their MBTI type?

No because those tests are way too fucking long.

25. What is their biggest flaw?

Self-assigned guilt.

26. Are they aware of their flaws?

Not all of them, who is?

27. What is their biggest strength?

Her dedication.

28. Are they aware of their strengths?

Yes, she isn’t one to sell herself short.

29. How would they describe their own personality?

She would say she is smart, kind and generally tough.

30. When frightened, will they resort to “fight” or “flight”?

She isn’t one for physical violence, but she will stand up vocally. She has had to defend herself physically in the past and that cost her her son.

31. Does this character ever put somebody else’s needs before their own? Who do they do this for? How often do they do this?

Constantly, in the past it was mostly her son, but now also her husband.

32. What is their self esteem like?

Good. She owns her strengths and is aware of her shortcomings. Though she is slightly shaken from a recent rejection, but she knows better than to get too attached when there are other factors in play.

33. What is their biggest fear? How would they react to having to face it?

Failure to protect her son. She would go to the ends of possibility to save him.

34. How easily do they trust others with their secrets? With their lives?

It took almost five months of an arranged marriage for her to tell Sam about her son, his death and her side of their deal with Heaven. Though she trusts Sam, she didn’t reveal much about her past.

We’re going to have to wait and see if she can trust Sam or Cas with her life.

35. What is the easiest way to annoy them?

Talk cruelly about other people on end. Chew with your mouth open.

36. What is their sense of humor like? Give an example of a joke they would find humorous.

She has a pretty decent sense of humor. Not too dark, but definitely has a sarcastic streak. I think she would love memes, especially living with a preteen gamer, she would have seen her share. But she’s still a dorky mom, so she only shares the obvious ones with her TAs.

37. How easy is it for them to say “I love you”? Do they say it without meaning it?

Fairly easy, especially with family. Never.

38. What do others admire most about their personality?

Her strength of character and her determination to DO GOOD.

39. What does their happily ever after look like?

She hasn’t really thought about it beyond the task at hand. Keeping up her charade with Sam in order to save Georgie’s soul and Dean. They have quiet the dream life from the outside: great jobs, nice house in a good neighborhood. But none of that can last, not for them. Right?

40. Who do they trust most? Is that trust mutual?

Her mother, but she passed about two years ago. Yes.

Physical Profile:

41. What does their laugh sound like? Do they snort when they laugh? How often do they laugh?

Her voice is smoky, much like her faceclaim Rashida Jones. Her laugh can get breathy or silent if it is a really deep one. She laughs in little spells, but nothing like she used to.

42. What is their favorite thing about their physical appearance?

Her sparkling hazel eyes.

43. What is their least favorite thing about their physical appearance?

She thinks she has a big nose. But her complex is so good, she doesn’t dwell.

44. Do they have any scars? If so, what are the stories behind those scars?

Yes, she had a total hysterectomy after her mother died so she has laparoscopic scaring. She also has stretch marks from pregnancy. The biggest scars are on her left upper arm, where her son scratched her when he first shifted into a werewolf.

45. How would they describe their own appearance?

Just a 30-someting mixed girl rocking what she’s got.

46. How easily can they express emotions? How easily can they hide emotions?

She is tempered first and foremost. Being vulnerable is not something she does regularly, but she doesn’t hide the big things. They’re too much for a reason.

47.    What’s their pain tolerance like? 

She is a women of color and a single mother, her pain tolerance is insanely high because people don’t listen anyway. (yes, that’s shade)

48. Do they have any tattoos? What are the stories behind those tattoos?

She doesn’t. (Desperately trying to remember if she does now... oops?)

49. Do they have any piercings?

Just a single on both ears.

51. What is their height? Weight?

5′4″ 130lbs ish

52. What is their body type? Are they muscular, chubby, skinny, etc?

She thin, not overly fit.

53. What is their hair color? Eye color? Skin tone?

Dark brown/ Hazel/ Dark Beige

55. What is their alcohol tolerance like? What kind of drunk are they? How bad are their hangovers?

She has a fairly low tolerance for alcohol, but that’s generally because she doesn’t drink often. When she gets wine drunk she gets affectionate. The few times she has been hungover have been exhausting because she doesn’t give her self time to recover.

56. What do they smell like? Why do they smell like this? (Is it the things they’re around or a perfume they wear?)

Her natural scent is warm spices, with almost a vanilla finish. She has a jasmine perfume that makes her slightly more feminine and floral.

57. How do they feel about sex? Are they a virgin?

She hasn’t had an active sex life until she married Sam. Before that it had been a few years. No, she isn’t a virgin and this is a dumb question because it is an outdated misogynistic construct.

58. What is their most noticeable physical attribute?

Her big, bright, multicolored eyes. Then her smile.

59. What does their resting face look like? Do they have RBF?

Not exactly resting, but you get the point. Yes.

60. Describe the way they sleep.

She sleeps curled on her side, in the middle of the bed. If Sam’s already up, she is stealing his pillow to cuddle. If Sam is sleeping elsewhere, she stays to her side.

Environment:

61. Which season is their favorite season?

Summer, though she was born in the winter, she prefers it if she can function outside or at least read by the lake.

62. Have they ever been betrayed? How did it affect their ability to trust others?

Okay, yes, everyone has been betrayed. She is currently dealing with the ramifications of an unjust deal with Heaven. It’s not easy for her.

63. What is always guaranteed to make them smile?

Her dog Bandit.

64. Do they get cold easily? Do they get overheated easily?

Yes, she is a slight woman, she gets cold easily.

65. What’s their immune system like? Do they get sick often? How do they react to getting sick?

She has a solid immune system, even when she gets sick she powers through. Bad mental health days knock her down a few pegs though.

66. Where do they live? Do they like it there?

Currently living in Denver, CO with Sam and Bandit. She lived in Chicago with her son and dog previously.

67. Is their bedroom messy? What about their bathroom? Kitchen? Living room?

No, she keeps her bedroom clean because she shares it (for the most part) now. The bathroom and kitchen are always spotless. The living room is a little cluttered, but that’s generally Bandit’s toys and research she leaves out when she’s not grading in the dining room.

68. How did their environment growing up affect their personality?

She was surrounded by love. Her mom was a waitress at a diner and her paternal granddad and big mama helped raised her. She knew she had to work hard for anything to come to her and she also was psychic so she was able to sense how her family was “odd” or “wrong” depending on whose thoughts she heard. She grew up learning to respect people and kill them with kindness, or wit if she had to.

69. How did the people in their environment growing up affect their personality?

See above.

70. How do they feel about animals? Do they have any pets?

She loves animals, but is very much a dog person. Yes, Bandit, the best boy ever.

71. How are they with children? Do they have any? Do they want any?

She is amazing with kids, especially one on one. She has a son George, who would have been 13 last spring. She is unable to have more.

72.   Would they rather have stability or comfort? 

Stability. Knowing what to expect is its own level of comfort.

73. Do they prefer the indoors or outdoors?

She is generally indoors, but generally all of her active free time is spent outside.

74. What weather is their favorite? Do they like storms?

To be in, sunny and clear. She likes storms from the safety of inside and thunder more than the lightning.

75. If given a blank piece of paper, a pencil, and nothing to do, what would happen?

She would probably doodle old geometric patterns found on ancient manuscripts as a border. Possibly make a list of things that need doing or write the same word over and over again in different fonts.

76. How organized are they?

Fairly, not obsessively so.

77. What is their most prized possession?

Her PhD.

78. Who do they consider to be their best friend?

She was close with a few colleagues at her last job, a small college just outside of Chicago. But her mother was her best friend so it is hard to put that title on someone else since she lost her.

79. What is their economic situation? 

Currently upper-middle class. Previously working class struggling with medical bills.

80. Are they a morning person or a night owl?

She is not a morning person, but doesn’t stay up too late unless she has too.

Miscellaneous:

81. Are they bothered by the sight of blood?

No. Unless someone is severely hurt.

82. What is their handwriting like?

Not too neat, but generally a combination of print and cursive.

83. Can they swim? How well? Do they like to swim?

Yes, well enough to not die, she doesn’t know all the strokes or anything. Sure, but not as much as she likes sunbathing.

84. Which deadly sin do they represent best?

Oh, this is a tough one! I am going to say Envy, because though she had a great family growing up, she was still very much aware of what other people had. And their problems always seemed so frivolous.

85. Do they believe in ghosts?

Yes, she was a psychic, she spoken to spirits before.

86. How do they celebrate holidays? How do they celebrate birthdays?

She has her great-grandmother’s china that she keeps for the big holidays, Christmas, Easter, etc. She would host the cousins and aunties with her grandma and once her mom got too sick, it was harder to get everyone together. She and George would go to her Aunt Janice’s house when they could for Sunday dinner, but traffic in and out of the city was a pain during the school year.

87. What is something they regret?

Killing her son in self-defense.

88. Do they have an accent?

Not usually, she was in an academic setting for so long she doesn’t let it slip out often.

89. What is their D&D alignment?

Neutral Good, laws and those who enforce them should evolve quicker than they do.

90. Are they right or left handed?

Right.

92. Describe them as a John Mulaney gif.

93. What’s the most iconic line of dialogue they’ve ever said?

She groaned, grabbing his face in both her hands. “Fine! Asshole. But you better make it worth it.”

She was pointing a finger at his agreeing puppy dog face now.

[crystalelemental]

So I finished Ephraim’s route in Sacred Stones for the first time since the game came out.

When I was young, I remember saying the same thing: I don’t like Ephraim’s route.  It just didn’t seem as strong as Eirika’s.  And I could never articulate why, to a degree where most of my friends would insist it was because I just played Eirika’s first so the complete deviation felt weird, even though Ephraim’s route was just as solid.  But I’m an adult now, and I like to think better at articulating opinions, so maybe now I’ll finally be able to express why I don’t like Ephraim’s route.

Part of it is Ephraim himself.  I don’t like Ephraim, I find him incredibly dull, and think he embodies every insult people want to throw at Micaiah.  Unbeatable in battle, unnaturally good at everything contrary to what’s told to us, the plot literally revolves entirely around him.  Ephraim’s just bland to me.  I think the best way to express this is to use a quote from someone who really likes him, courtesy of the only Fire Emblem fandom personality that I legitimately cannot stand.

Their take on Ephraim’s route is that: "Ephraim says he doesn’t pick fights he can’t win, but then he does pick a fight with Lyon.  Then the journey after that is his character arc, of accepting how to become a king.  He goes back to his kingdom a loser, and learns to accept that loss to become a better person.”

Problem: not a single word of that is true.  For one thing, Ephraim never lost a fight, because that would be a flaw.  Ephraim won every fight he was in ever, because “I don’t pick fights I can’t win.”  Ephraim, you are three guys, exiting a castle, surrounded by a moat, further surrounded by mountains.  Your only backup are cavalry units, and your enemies are mostly flying units, including a general so powerful that he injured Seth, your country’s best knight.  But oh no, he gets to escape.  No explanation, because you cannot possibly write a believable explanation for how that happened.  He just gets away because Ephraim’s just so cool.  So yeah, there’s no “learning to accept the loss,” because there is no loss.  To anyone, at any time.  I have no idea what they’re even talking about with “his loss to Lyon.”  My best guess is they just hadn’t played in a while and forgot.

If anything, Ephraim’s crucial flaw should be presented as being a fucking slacker.  They poke fun at it when they’re being taught as kids, but when war broke out, Ephraim left Renais to rush into battle, got his ass stranded, and wasn’t present to help Renais at all.  This is slightly acknowledged when they finally return to Renais, but only in the sense of “he’s back now and he’s better so it’ll never happen again!”  But (1) it’s mentioned exactly once, and (2) it’s not brought up nearly as often as Lyon being weak-willed, or Eirika “relying” on Ephraim protecting her, as flaws go.  Which is its own issue, considering we never actually see Eirika relying on Ephraim at all.  She didn’t actually need his help either time he showed up.  Nice to have, but far from saving an unwinnable situation.  We’re just told she always needs his help, because if she didn’t then Ephraim can’t be the cool twin who’s so good at war.

And that’s all that Ephraim is, and all he ever becomes.  There’s no “learning to become a king.”  He accepts that he’ll take the crown, but there’s really no reason to it aside from his penis.  He’s the prince, so he gets to be king.  Nevermind that Eirika’s route was more about establishing diplomatic ties, and that she’s by far the better leader.  Ephraim gets to lead because reasons.  All Ephraim does is charge into battles.  We get exactly two establishing scenes of Ephraim’s leadership qualities, both of which are around war and not actual leadership in a governing sense.  And get this!  They’re both with Seth, who, again, is their kingdom’s best knight. And guess how both scenes go.  You’ll never guess.  Ephraim’s either just as keen as Seth, or is presented as the one in the right.  Seth comes along as Ephraim’s advisor, but literally never has to advise, because Ephraim’s just so capable and good at this.  And remember, this is the hero who never read a fucking book.  Who copied all of Lyon’s homework, and couldn’t be asked to learn shit in his life.  I’m fine with him being a strong soldier.  Hell, I’m fine with him even having a keen sense for combat due to practical experience.  But being able to keep up with or exceed Seth, who should be one of the best minds for fighting we have, is kind of annoying.  At the very least, allow Seth to have some role as an advisor, rather than just...nothing.

At no point does Ephraim really learn or develop in any compelling way.  He starts out great and ends great.  Any flaws the narrative presents are solely as a backdrop, they’re never reflected in the story.  Him being bad at studying and books never bites him in any way.  Hell, it never even comes up, save for flashbacks and a singular comment the Demon King makes about Ephraim being “poorly educated,” which was more a taunt about him not immediately guessing Demon King.  Ephraim suffers from exactly no faults ever.

This leads into the other big issue.  Lyon.  I do not like Ephraim-route Lyon.  At all.  There’s a lot that goes into this, but the short version is I actually think Eirika-route Lyon is more engaging, complex, and shows greater force of will.

Eirika-route Lyon presents as fully consumed by the Demon King.  His soul is actively being devoured, and the beast within is winning.  However, at certain points, Lyon takes back control.  Briefly, but he’s trying.  He fights back as much as he can, but it’s impossible to resist the Demon King’s control.  His motivations are the same in both routes, and largely comes down to a desire to save his country and his people.  He’s used the arcane arts to manipulate the energy radiating from the Sacred Stone that has the Demon King trapped within.  He uses it to heal people, and see into the future to attempt preventing disaster.  In Eirika’s route, the Demon King expresses more of the unresolved feelings for Eirika, and his inadequacy because Ephraim’s just so good.  So like...they had a compelling tragedy going.  I could absolutely believe a 17-year-old has inadequacy issues around the girl he likes, and that this would be an easy mark for an ancient eldritch evil.  But the fact that it has to double back to Ephraim pisses me off.  But we’re talking about Ephraim-route Lyon, so that’s enough paraphrasing her route.

Ephraim-route Lyon seems to present just as himself.  On the surface, this seems like Lyon is showing greater willpower and resolve, right?  He’s in control!  He’s going to use the Demon King’s power to save Grado from impending disaster!  That’s way more impressive, right?

Well, not really.  Considering that Lyon acts in control, but is ultimately just going about this like a nitwit.  Complaint #1: Lyon doesn’t act as in-character in this route.  Ephraim even acknowledges it.  Lyon’s peaceful, he’d never instigate a war over this.  Like, this is an Edelgard move, not a Lyon move.  But here we are, being told that Lyon, of his own will, started this war.  Why?

Complaint #2: Because Vigarde sucks, for a start.  In the last flashback, Lyon is talking to his dad, and expresses uncertainty about his ability to rule.  Again, great in for the Demon King.  But Lyon’s actually on this one.  A major disaster was foreseen, and they need outside aid for their people to survive.  Vigarde says Renais would never aid them, because they need to put their people first.  There’s a bit of interesting consideration here, in that Renais, a smaller nation, probably can’t take in all the refugees that Grado would have.  But like...Renais is friendly with Frelia, who could be persuaded to help.  Rausten is all about charity like this, as the religious epicenter of the continent.  What the fuck are you on about, Vigarde?  Pinning literally all of this on Lyon to find a solution isn’t just cruel, it’s stupid and wrong.  Get it together, asshole.  How did you manage to not lead Grado into the ground?  Was it hard to teach yourself to breathe through your ass, or is that natural talent?

Complaint #3: Lyon’s motivations are all over the place.  This starts because he revives Vigarde, and this breaks the Sacred Stone, creating the Dark Stone that houses the Demon King.  Okay cool, this is when the possession starts.  But remember, they’re presenting this like Lyon’s in control.  After this point, Lyon still takes leadership.  He still makes the commands, through his father.  And he instigates a war.  Why?  Well, they never really say.  One answer is envy of Ephraim, and a desire to beat him.  The other is self-sacrifice.  He talks with Knoll about some documents that allegedly allow him to circumvent the foreseen history, and it involves human sacrifice and great magical power.  He plans to use the Demon King’s power and his own sacrifice to accomplish this.  But that...doesn’t explain the war.  You could just kill yourself on your own time, dude.  Like, hidden motivations include saving your people, but all of this was the worst possible method.  If you anticipated latching on to other nations after your death ends the royal bloodline, then your people are now reviled for being instigators in a completely meaningless war.  They’re less likely to get help than ever.  If it was to conquer territory for them to move to before the catastrophe, then why self-sacrifice at all?  The war now has a point, but nothing else does, because you’d have accomplished your goal through the war.

So basically, if Lyon’s in control, there are two possible motives for the war: showing off to beat Ephraim, or a pre-cursor to your self-sacrifice for some reason.  Either way, it’s super shitty.  Like really, what’s your motivation for enacting continental warfare?  Complete disillusionment regarding mankind’s right to rule, and seeking to end strife through complete subjugation by another species that (allegedly) doesn’t feel the emotions that lead men to folly?  The belief that war is inevitable and that living beings cannot help but kill one another for the most banal of reasons, and thus the most just course is to re-awaken their creator to put them all to an eternal rest?  Recognition that the structure of society is so bad that people are constantly suffering and dying, and decided to stand up and tear the structures out by the roots through bloody conquest if necessary, in hopes of a better tomorrow?  Or because your childhood friend’s dick was too huge and made you feel inadequate/you had to kill yourself and I guess this was the best you could come up with?

The more likely reason given how fucking incomprehensible his motivations are otherwise, is that the Demon King was always in full control.  That Lyon was never actually in command of things, but thought he was, even as the Demon King ate away at him from within.  This makes more sense, because it’s just...Demon King killing things for funsies.  But it also means Lyon has 0 actual agency, and it’s even more just the demon king.  In Eirika’s route, Lyon actually fights back and wrestles control, if just for brief moments at a time.  But in Ephraim’s, the only implication that makes sense is that Lyon never had anything.  He was never in control, and never even put up a fight.  He was just easily duped into believing that these were his conscious decisions.  Which makes Lyon a lot less compelling overall.

I just...I don’t like Sacred Stones.  I figure that’s clear, but it’s good to be open about it.  I feel like the game just tries so hard to make Ephraim the coolest thing ever, and every male character (except Seth) who interacts with Eirika is just obsessed with this notion of needing to be better than him before she’ll love them back.  It’s why I can’t stand Innes.  All their supports are is him being bullheaded and insisting that no, he has to protect her, because that’s how this is supposed to go, and he will be better than Ephraim so she’ll accept him.  Fuck you, Innes.  Though man, Lyon’s not much better.  I can at least sympathize with Lyon’s feelings of inadequacy and uncertainty about Eirika reciprocating, but the fact that it all boils back down to Ephraim again...god, neither of them even consider Eirika in this.  It’s all about Ephraim and your own dick-focused insecurities.  At no point do either of you consider Eirika’s feelings in the matter, everything’s about you you you, and needing to be better than Ephraim who’s just too cool I guess.  May as well rename this Toxic Masculinity: The Game at this rate.

tldr, Ephraim’s route sucks.  Eirika’s route is at least a decent tragedy, but sidelines its main character too hard to really feel like her route.  Lyon would be better off without Ephraim’s route.  The end.

[cherryfloyd-blog]

Jimmy Page - Behind Closed Doors

There are so many cookie crumbs to this story and I truly put as much research into this as my brain could handle. What started as a fun idea, soon turned into a late night adventure of notes sprawled across my bed, snacks to keep the energy going, glasses on; with a pen sticking of my mouth as I thumbed through as many pages of literature that I could get my hands on. There are several parts of this but for the sake of remaining unbiased I will keep it as straightforward and simple as I can. There has been a rumour floating around for fifty odd years, that Led Zeppelin; more specifically Jimmy Page, had made a deal with the devil. In this article, I will break down the events that have lead people to believe such things. In the end, it will remain impartial and will be open to interpretation which we can discuss further.

 To begin, let’s talk about Jimmy’s growing idolisation and obsession with Aleister Crowley, famous for being an occult leader and magician. For more back story, Crowley was a British occultist who became known for pioneering the practice of black magic (or magick as he would call it). Aleister called himself Beast 666 and wrote literature on black magic and the occult, making him a major cult figure. He joined a few popular organizations to begin with, but ventured off into his own self created philosophy. Crowley believed himself to be the prophet entrusted with guiding humanity into  the Eon of Horus, thus founding the Religion of Thelema. 

(Below is the logo of Thelema)

Pictures of Crowley have since been discreetly used in pop culture, as if a small tribute. For example; The Beatles featured Crowley on their album cover art for Sgt Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club, he can be seen in the back row, if I’m correct. Building off of Page’s affinity for Crowley, which began to noticeably build by the mid to late 60’s, Page financed to own a bookstore in Britain which specialized in selling publishings of the occult and black magik. Needless to say, Jimmy was in deep at this point but still only scratching the surface of infatuation. The bookstore was named “The Equinox” which was also the name of a book that Crowley himself had written on the occult and magic. To this day, Jimmy Page has the second largest collection of Crowley memorabilia and literature, which is no small expense. His bookstore is now closed, but back in the day had been in stock of some very pricey and hard to come by black magik publications.

Another thing I found interesting, was Page being heavily influenced by very iconic blues artists, such as Robert Leroy Johnson (okay, maybe not that interesting, everyone in rock cites him as being the backbone of rock n roll today) nonetheless, Johnson died at the age of 27 from unsolved and suspicious causes. He never became famous while he was alive, but rumour has it that Johnson had also sold his soul to the devil in return for fame, at a crossroads, which Robert mentions in a few songs. A very small, unrelated tidbit of information, but it makes you wonder if our rock star idols gave up more than a normal life, to become internationally loved and recognized.

Around the year 1970, Jimmy had supposedly asked the band to perform a ritual with him, one that would bring them power and something along the lines of everlasting life? I know right, no biggie, just dabbling with some dark forces. Anyone that knows black magik, can tell you that spells like this are not something to be taken lightly or messed with. John Paul Jones was allegedly the only one to not take part in this pact, which you’ll later realize why that makes all of this so much more strange than it already is. If you think about it, had they made such a pact it would make sense. Robert Plant has made it to the list of top 100 best singers of all time in Rock history, not only that but made it to number one (1). Jimmy Page? Well he’s seen as a god and legend by almost every guitar player in the modern world, and has been ranked number two, only one spot behind Jimi Hendrix. John Bonham has been recognized as one of the best double kick drummers in history, quite literally, every drummer looks up to him as also an almost god like figure. As for John Paul Jones? There is no doubt the man is wicked talented, but not nearly as talked about or famed. We can all acknowledge the man has serious talent, and yet seems to be left in the shadows of his peers.

The first evidence of this pact can be seen with the album Led Zeppelin III, between the end of the last song and the paper label is the outro groove written into the vinyl was “So mote it be” on one side and “Do what thou wilt” on the other. The are basic phrases that are the core of Crowley’s belief system. By this point people were determined that Jimmy had become a member of O.T.O , and organization and cult who’s most influential and iconic member was none other than Crowley. More about the organization can be read about in a link below, but it should be noted that they have four pillar rules; one of which is to not speak of the organization to others or discuss the practices of which they studied. A rule, that Jimmy Page is believed to have broken at one point.

The second piece of evidence was apparent with the release of Led Zeppelin IV, when symbolism became a driving force. Inside the album is a painting of the hermit (a powerful tarot symbol), later in life Jimmy would refer to himself as being something of a hermit despite being a major public figure. The album provides no title, and shows no band name on the cover, but on the inside are four brightly printed logos across the sleeve. From left to right, these symbols represent Page, Jones, Bonham and Plant. Page has said in interviews that the symbols (for the most part) were taken from Rudolf Koch’s 1955 Book of Signs. Plant’s symbol is probably the easiest to decipher - as it is the feather of truth and courage, from the origins of Egyptian goddess Ma’at. John Bonham’s is believed to be either a drum kit, or the symbol of trinity of a family unit (meaning father, mother, child). John Paul Jones, which was likely picked by Jimmy, was the a celtic sigil for confidence and competence. However, Jimmy’s logo has always been the hardest to breakdown and figure out. While most people believe his logo represents saturn (which controls the Capricorn sign, Jimmy is a Capricorn so it would make sense), there is a certain level of mystery behind it. Page has famously said he will never tell anyone what it means. Thought Plant has once said that Page revealed the full meaning of all four signs, including a detailed discussion of what Zoso meant. Admittedly, Plant expressed he was too drunk to remember by the next morning, and when he had asked Page about it again, page replied with saying he couldn’t/wouldn’t discuss it. Now this could very well be Jimmy’s antics, or just general mysterious persona, or perhaps he simply cannot discuss or reveal information. Perhaps, this is the one of the four pillar rules of O.T.O that Page had broken. Jimmy is an all around very private person, who very rarely, if at all, talks about his religious or spiritual beliefs or practices.

It is worth noting that Sandy Denny (pictured below) of Fairport Convention, the voice on The Battle of Evermore track, was given her own sigil. The logo is translated to Godhead or the power of female.

According to Pamela Des Barres, Pages girlfriend of this era, has said that at this point Jimmy got very deep into the studying of Crowley, and had even asked her to search San Francisco and Los Angles for Crowley memorabilia. She had not fallen short on this task, and managed to dig up some very impressive artifacts, manuscripts, and even “magical” robes that Crowley has worn. In 1970, around the time of the ritual, Page had dropped a large chunk of cash to acquire Crowley’s mansion, Boleskine, located on Loch Ness. The home, once owned by Crowley, had a large history of suicides and an even bigger turnover rate of employees as they found the home to be no doubt inhabited by dark entities. Regardless of what one may believe, the house holds a sinister vibe. Page later sold the home in 1992, and had actually been very wary of ever living there and had left the estate in a caregivers possession. Of the 22 years that he had owned the house, he only spent 6 weeks in total living there. In 2016, the house unexplainably burned down. (pictured below is Jimmy at the mansion) 

 Now this next part is where shit gets bonkers, so to speak, the rest so far has been rumours and back stories and alleged encounters. Just a man with an obsession, and depending on your personal beliefs, you may find that he took his practices too far. Perhaps his intentions were pure, but looking at his life in general, what did Jimmy have to sacrifice to become quite literally a noteable person in history. Well let’s see.

Introducing Kenneth Anger; a fellow Crowley disciple and filmmaker, drug taker and subversive. He spent most of his time drawing magic circles, burning incense and chanting spells in Enochian - trying to do a real ritual exorcism. Plans for his film Lucifer Rising began to fall apart when Bobby Beausoleil (lead actor) - had to quit. Bobby, who later stole rough cuts and cameras from Anger would soon regret this. To take revenge, Anger supposedly made a talisman to curse Bobby. Within a year, Beausoleil had ended up convicted of murder with a life sentence for the murder of Sharon Tate as part of the Manson family murders. Wild, I know. Possibly just a coincidence, or even just a tall tale.

Cue Jimmy Page, who had agreed to do the soundtrack for Angers film, and the music Jimmy had produced is exactly what you’d expect. Dark, eerie, and perfect for a film of satanic proportions. Some of which can actually be heard in the intro for “In The Out Door”, his melancholy and devilish sound coming through in the song “In The Evening”. Kenneth and Jimmy had a love/hate relationship, and what started as a mutual appreciation and dedication to Crowley’s practice and image, soon turned to ugly turmoil just as quickly. Anger moved into Boleskine, where him and Page shared a love for Crowley memorabilia. However, as their friendship deteriorated, Anger was asked to leave the Crowley mansion. At the height of Led Zeppelin’s career, Jimmy had pulled out of the film project in 1975. Allegedly, Anger soon stated that he had cursed Page and Zepp with a major spell, a spell so big that it took all of Crowley’s teachings he could muster up, to cast upon them.

 Almost immediately, the band started to experience turbulence and the eventual downfall of their career as one tragedy after another struck them to the core. Robert Plant was in a car crash, plunging off a cliff in Greece in 1975, nearly killing himself, his wife and his son Karac. Which meant cancelling the Physical Graffiti tour and having to record in a wheelchair. The make up tour was littered with negative events starting with Plant getting Laryngitis. Followed by ticketless fans in Cincinnati rioting and storming the gates. In San Francisco, manager Peter Grant and John Boham had gotten into a fight with Bill Graham, and nearly beating a Bill Graham employee to death. Both Grant and Bonham narrowly escaping serious charges and incarceration. Karac eventually fell ill, and no amount of money would make him better, as doctors had no idea what was wrong, by 1977 Karac had passed away and the tour was cancelled. At this point, Plant had quit the band and music in general in response to Page and Jones not showing up to his sons funeral.

Around this time, Page was nearly comatose on a daily basis due to a crippling Heroine addiction, and Bonhams alcoholism was raging out of control, becoming increasingly violent and unpredictable. In 1978, Sandy Denny, the goddess of the Battle of Evermore, drunkenly plunged down a flight of stairs; breaking her neck and died. The tip of the iceberg was the incident that occurred in September of 1980. Handlers had tucked Bonzo into bed after a band rehearsal, following a night of heavy drinking; assuming he would be okay, he’s done it a million times before, right? But as well know, John tragically died in his sleep from asphyxiation. It’s worth mentioning, that in the middle of all of this mayhem, John Paul Jones had remained completely untouched. While the loss of Karac and Bonham had affected John, being as they were family, he was never really directly affected. Could this be because he stayed as far away from the pact as possible? Could these events be natures way of taking something, in return for giving something such as power? Is this all the work of Angers alleged curse?

Robert Plant once addressed these very claims, as some people point fingers at Jimmy being the cosmic reasoning behind the passing of Karac and Bonham. Though, he says it’s a cheap shot. This is what Plant had to say about the matter - “The comments about how it was all connected with Jimmy’s dalliance with the dark side or whatever, that was cheap. I’ve never shared the preoccupations with him and I don’t really know anything about it. Fate is already written”. I suppose it has less to do with whether Page “sold his soul” and more to do with the possible repercussions of playing against nature, and whether such practices have a domino affect. The piling strange circumstances does make one wonder how involved Page really was, and how much the involvement took a toll on the band. Just how much of it can account for Led Zeppelin’s massive success, to the point of making history in music forever (everlasting life?). At the end it could all very well just be a bunch of mumbo jumbo non-sense. I am curious as to what you all think, feel free to leave comments or shoot me a message!

*Note; Do not take this too seriously, it’s all speculation and open for interpretation. Below are some interesting sites that I used in my search!

Resources:

https://forums.ledzeppelin.com/topic/15027-jimmy-and-crowley/

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aleister_Crowley

https://carwreckdebangs.wordpress.com/2015/06/09/aleister-crowley-jimmy-page-and-the-curse-of-led-zeppelin-when-myth-magick-and-weird-facts-collide/

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ordo_Templi_Orientis

https://zososymbol.com/

[maulionicious-blog]

PRENATAL

Prenatal development, this follows 2 developmental patterns are cephalocaudal pattern and proximidistal pattern. Cephalocaudal pattern growth that proceeds from the head downward. While Proximidistal pattern growth that proceeds from the body outward. The fetus is responsive to stimuli and appears to learn in the womb. Prenatal temperamental differences persist into infancy and childhood, and some aspects of the prenatal sensory environment maybe important to future development. There are risks associated with teratogenic material diseases these include rubella, AIDS, syphilis, gonorrhoea, genital herpes, and CMV. If a mother has poor nutrition, her fetus faces increased risks of stillbirth, low birth weight, and death during the first year of life.

               When I realized prenatal, I really don’t know if this past is real that I remember or not because before I come into this world I started seeing pink path flowing through the clouds of what I see it depicts that makes me travel at that time I was like watching from what just I saw passes me by. I don’t know if these are real or that was inside my head but from what i see that looks like stars maybe a nebula of some kind galaxies. When I was born I thought it was like a space shuttle which I was riding but that’s it that is how I end up either I imagine that or it was like I saw how I really travel from that part and even so I choose to forget it.

INFANCY  

In infancy, many were able to say first words or other making sounds like cooing and anything that the baby emotion has express. The humans are born with adaptive reflexes that help them survive. Automatically sucking any object that enters the mouth, disappear in infancy or childhood. Primitive reflexes controlled by the less sophisticated parts of the brain. Sensorimotor stage, infants use information from their senses and motor actions to learn about the world. Object Permanence understanding that objects continue to exist when they can’t be seen. The infant has attachment things to the parents to identify his or her parents.

I didn’t remember what I do but I experience how difficult I was since my first guardian abused me then my parents forced me to go in Tagum were my grandparents can take care of me while my parents can do their work on their own. I was lucky and happy which leads to me being naughty and I was a difficult child to handle. From that past I was never recognized who are my parents was because all I know my parents are my grandparents thought they were real to me. And from that day I was quiet and suddenly would be different than any other day.

 EARLY CHILDHOOD

           The measuring intelligence an assumption in studying differences in intelligence is that these differences can be measured. The first tests led by Alfred Binet and Theodore Simon to identify children who might have difficulty in school. This intelligence was later called Intelligence Quotient (IQ). The intelligence of child affects the influences in the family it depends how they raised their child. Parenting styles differ in temperament themselves, so, just like their children; they vary in how they respond to situations. The four types of parenting styles are permissive parenting style, authoritarian parenting type, authoritative parenting type, and uninvolved parenting style.

             When I was elementary student I was a running around person until they set new rules for me. My parents were became permissive or strict in general term, they intended to bring me after class hours in the tutorial centre to guide me through my topics and some of that I became a nuisance to others who were studying there too I suppose that I never learn anything that days. It may be different from today because I realized that studying is important and I learn through their reasons why my parents are so very strict to me. As of today I realize something that even when in difficult struggle, can be trying harder again to accomplish once goal.

      MIDDLE CHILDHOOD

           Physical and cognitive changes the way for being a middle childhood. Many children participate in such clubs like sports, arts, and etc. This has intellectual interest about their health, fitness, and academic performances were concerned. The cognitive changes which term for their language on how they initialize their potential to make it in time. Achievement tests are designed to assess specific information learned in school. The relationships of parents and also friends are important to keep the bonds together and strong no matter the problems are and their child and friends help to sustain their courage to do so in the end.    

           Middle child hood for me is about the pressure and sometimes I ignore the mistakes I did but I never well go around. I focus more on ignoring stuff playing a gadget my prioritize time that I did than studying. I never concern about my health and fitness, I always drink soda and eating junk foods. I had friends before, friends that see u one time then ignore me instantly, only cares when I am bullied by my classmate then they come and when the problem solves they’re gone. Parents can courage to their child something more and something wonderful to be great.  

 ADOLESCENCE

           Adolescence is the transitional period between childhood and adulthood. They’re puberty changes as primary and secondary sex characteristics, which their hormone as menarche which is the beginning of menstrual cycles. Adolescent sexuality can be so tempting and there are risks factor which led to sexual situation. Teens nowadays engaged in sexual activities were often seeing on television shows like the Pretty Little Liars. An adolescent learns and changes their gender identity as they confirm themselves gay, lesbians, and bisexuals. Most of the teens engaged in drugs, alcohol, and tobacco which of them bring out the curiosity of teenagers are sensation seeking.

           As I experience there are things which is evolving around me my sexual characteristics that I don’t understand which leads me to confusion. After that when I saw some television shows that romantic love scene how to proper court someone and make fell in love. Creating sexual desires in their dream longing for someone to be loved and that is how is. I tried to be gay for a contest which I had someone make up for me and quite a lot of fun to give laughter for everyone in just a nick of a time. I am into alcohol but not a strong one; I usually drink if there is an occasion going on with my parent’s permission.

EARLY ADULTHOOD      

           Primary aging occurs most of them develop gray hair, wrinkles, and changes in visual acuity. While Secondary aging is the product of environmental influences, health habits, or disease, and it is neither inevitable nor experienced by all adults. Health habits shows the detection of illness can see what kind of illness is and can determine can be prevent it or not. Sexual Transmitted Disease which the humans never use contraceptives to protect from it and they were getting from it through sexual intercourse. Most intimate partners’ abuses which due to most reasons are jealousy of having their partners seeing someone. Career development focused on adapting to the workplace, managing career transitions, and pursuing personal goals through employment.

             I may develop gray hair but I always thought of something that an illness which of the disease may try to kill me in the only way to die but I always thought the diabetes is the reason why I die. I will never know which would be so my fate will be decided which one of the diseases. I had always doubt about my lifestyle and I am getting obese more than ever. Career development for me is different, imagine where would I be sitting and seeing I help people. I really dream about not only becoming a RPm but maybe becoming an air force pilot someday.

     MIDDLE ADULTHOOD

            Most of men and women having osteoporosis resulting in reduced bone mass and more brittle and porous bones. Vision and hearing can be sudden changes for adulthood which began to decrease the retina and person’s overall sensitivity to light waves. Health and Wellness can be so devastating when it comes to illnesses which started by imbalance diet or any hobbies like smoking that lead to lung cancer. Memory function drawing conclusions about memory rarely include middle-aged people. They were being generosity is their care, give what they can give for their grandkids. They struggle long enough to survive from their illness.

             I really imagine that what could be waiting for me if I suffer an illness which is different from early adulthood of mine. I should be hardly and slowing to move my body as I was beginning to had crack bones of mine with its sound. As I imagine a lot what would be the life of me in 60 years age of me look like exactly. I can be grown old, grumpy, and sad living in home for the aged or even live with grandkids of my own. It is really hard that thinking way more about it is just never ever will happen if I just don’t let it.  

 LATE ADULTHOOD

           Life expectancy and longevity improvements in these variables among the elderly themselves over the past several decades are responsible for changes in the expected lifespans of adults in their 60s and beyond. General slowing the biggest single behavioural effect of age-related physical changes is a general slowing down. Wisdom and creativity elders might have some advantages over the young because of their accumulation of knowledge and skills. Wisdom reflects understanding of “universal truths” or basic laws or patterns. Life satisfaction or a sense of well-being is also an important component of successful aging. Religious beliefs are the component of religious coping involves people’s beliefs and attitudes.

             Life can be full of surprises when realize about something that can be precious to our love ones and we expands our life expectancy to experience more and thank God that we exist long lives today and some of old of us can be slow to stimuli. We do believe our own will to find out how our experiences can show to others how we make it and offer as a good advice to others that may help to guide others away from dangerous paths they never cross. Life of our existence is constant and I would say that it is okay for me to live this life, I owe it to the end of my last breathe for I shall die happy person. Religious gives you the morality and the spirituality which gives the inner peace of our mind and channels our prayer to our God.

[ask-bluesman]

This question is for Bluesman! What are your favourite (and least favourite!) things to draw?

This blog got awfully neglected again, but I finally found some time to scribble an answer for you! Thank you so much for the question!

Some of my most favourite things to draw include:

1) Simple portraits. Drawing them is a fast and easy method of studying facial characteristics without having to worry about the whole body (and pose, proportions, and such). I usually scribble a couple of those when I’m about to draw someone for the first time. I also do these for a quick warm-up. This means that boatswain’s grumpy face appears often among my sketches, haha.

2) Little creatures. I think they are more enjoyable to draw than the big ones, I also believe they don’t get the representation they deserve. Canines are absolutely everywhere, while small critters such as rodents or mustelids are difficult to find. Guinea pigs are my personal favourites because I have a lot of good experience with them as pets. Skunks are very fun too, their fur pattern is so elegant!

3) Trees. I grew up in a woody area and always considered trees my allies. I admired them ever since I was a child and this hasn’t changed at all; if anything, my appreciation for them only grew stronger over time. Each individual tree is a work of art! I have to say that I like greenery in general - I have 11 potted plants in my room and I don’t think I will stop there. They are all natural air filters and they make a big difference.

4) Sweets and pastries. It’s no secret that I have a sweet tooth, haha. I don’t draw this stuff nearly enough these days, but when I was in school, I did it constantly. I remember that one time my classmate begged me to stop because he was hungry, but that only reinforced my habit. I don’t like drawing dishes (ironically!), though I enjoy the rest. Not gonna lie, I’d go for a nice, cold chocolate shake right now ;__;

5) Small objects. While I usually struggle with large props (like furniture), I find smaller ones relatively fun for practice. They can be quite challenging as well, but it’s an enjoyable kind of challenge. I have a soft spot for vintage things: old phones, alarm clocks, toys, you name it. Besides, adding just a few of them can make a scene a lot more interesting. I may be not particularly good at drawing them, but I’m eager to change that!

Here are some other things I like to draw:

- characters with visible imperfections,

- felines (big and small),

- old fashioned clothing,

- grumpy, angry and surprised expressions,

- cartoony violence and slapstick.

My least favourite things to draw include:

1) Anything NSFW. My interest in that kind of content is minimal and I steer clear of it. Drawing it makes me extremely uncomfortable, it also collides with my religious beliefs. On top of that, I think the Internet has enough NSFW imagery to last for at least a hundred of generations… across several galaxies! The only exception I might consider is gore. It’s nothing sexual for me by any means, I just enjoy gore in video games (when it fits the context properly, think The Last of Us!), so it could appear in some of my future doodles.

2) Most backgrounds. ESPECIALLY urban ones. How do you draw a city without making it look ugly, bleak and dull? I know it’s possible because I’ve seen those, but I have no clue how to achieve that on my own. But to be perfectly honest, all backgrounds give me a hard time. Colours and perspective are my arch-enemies. I wish I could get better and I’m working on it. Slowly but surely!

3) Vehicles and any complicated machinery. As far as vehicles go, modern cars are my least favourite because of their… smoothness. I prefer sharper, rougher edges, so I’m actually somewhat okay with certain retro cars. But in general, vehicles and machines require a lot of symmetry, which is one of my weak points. They often come with tens or hundreds of little details and I either don’t have the patience to draw them all or flat out don’t know how to simplify them.

4) Reflective surfaces. Water and mirrors in particular. I avoid them whenever I can. The fact I don’t like drawing water is very unfortunate because all of my main characters are sailors, so I’m hoping to improve on that in the future. Still, water is somewhat easier to draw than mirrors. I find transparent glass a bit troublesome too.

5) Romantic scenarios. This one comes with some exceptions: I don’t mind drawing characters that are expressing their mutual affection in a mild way. Holding hands or dining together are alright! It’s not necessarily something I’m interested in, but I don’t have a problem with those things. Stuff like kissing or cuddling can make me uncomfortable since I don’t like physical contact.

And here are some other things I dislike to draw:

- bare human feet (yuck!!),

- unnaturally big muscles and breasts,

- eyes and their placement on the head,

- rooms and other types of interiors,

- political / cultural symbols (there are many I don’t want to be associated with).

These are my main likes and dislikes! If you have additional questions or would like to see me elaborate on something in particular, don’t hesitate to send me more asks :) My answers are going to be slow because my other work obliges me to meet certain deadlines (and they are approaching!), but I’m always happy to find more questions in my mailbox. Thank you so much for your interest and your patience

(Tumblr isn’t letting me paste a link this time, what the heck)

[cannibalisticshadows]

Dear Evil Heaven (Chapter 1/2)

Wow look at that I actually made and finished a two-shot for once.

Ao3 Link | FF Link 

Fandom: Megamind Relationship: Megamind/Roxanne Rating: T Warnings: brief antisemitic slur

“…And you look like a skank!”

“That’s big talk coming from a bobble head!”

“At least I cover myself!”

“You could walk into an BDSM club and no one would bat an eye!”

“Gah!” The blue supervillain threw his hands up, frustrated with the woman. Seriously, how hard was it to act a little bit scared? They had an audience! Well, soon, anyway. Metro Man was taking his sweet-ass time today, and hadn’t even made his expected appearance at the Park’s reopening yet! Megamind huffed, leaning back into his chair with all his villainous allure. He bet Waaayne was still primping his hair. Fwah!

And to make matters more difficult, his number one kidnappee was being an absolute brat!

“Is that anyway a lady should talk, Miss Ritchi? I’m sure it makes you a ton of free-ends!”

“More friends than you’ll ever make, blueberry!”

Oh, that was low even for her.

Megamind bolted upright, causing his chair to squeak on its wheels as it was pushed backwards most roughly. “Call me that again and I’ll really make you scream!”

“Oh I’m so scared,” Roxanne’s voice dripped with sarcasm as she rolled her eyes, “what in heavens will I do?”

“Yes! Beg for mercy! I’ll show you to never underestimate me again!” He shouted, and actually slammed his fist onto the control panels, causing one of his torture devises to spur into action. Roxanne, clearly thinking she had been in control, actually jolted with surprise as the razor-sharp blade came spinning and whirling down from the ceiling.

He hadn’t intended to let one of his inventions out, but yelped and grappled for the appropriate control to stop the blades—they were so close to her—!

It stopped, finally, after much fuss on his part. He turned, a little bit frightened to find what might be of Miss Ritchi… And thank goodness she was okay.

But apparently it cut a few hairs off her head. Oops.

Minion, who was standing idly by in the background, stared with his jaw open. The razor had been very close to actually touching their hostage.

“Oh my god,” she gasped, looking concerned. For once. “Goodness, Megamind, if I knew that calling you names would rile you up so bad I’d hold back a bit.”

He sniffed. He didn’t want her to know that by calling him blueberry would poke a tender spot. It was a favorite name the kids at school liked to call him.

“No! No, I’m perfectly fine! This is normal me!” Megamind insisted, ignoring Minion’s look of worry. “But you’re better than calling me names shool-yard brats use!”

Her blue eyes had been actuall anxious, before, but once he finished speaking Roxanne shot him a look of—what? Surprise?

“Shul?”

“That’s what I said, damn it!” He threw himself down onto his chair. Great, now she was making fun of his mispronunciation problem. This was turning out to be a disaster before it even begun! He turned to Minion to order him to get the knock-out gas out and cancel today’s evil plot, when—

“I thought I was the only one here—I mean, sure there are others, but—Megamind, I had no idea! Where do—or did—you go?.

One of his brows curled upward. Was she actually surprised he went to school? Wow. Sure, he only went for a few months, but still… “I went to shool like everyone else, Miss Ritchi! And I’m looking right through your nosy reporter skills, so don’t—“

“It’s just I didn’t expect you of all people to be Jewish.”

A look of confusion fell over his face. He spun around in his chair to face her properly.

“Say what now?”

She was looking in her lap with a look of thoughtfulness, an expression he only saw on her when she was reporting a case particularly interesting, with her brows drawn up and her lips curled into a funny little smile. “Did you have a bar mitzvah? What was your parsha?”

“What?”

She laughed, somewhat nervously. This was… unlike her. “Sorry, haha! I’m just—really surprised! I mean, you’re—an alien, right? You’ve never really confirmed that. As a kid I went to an orthodox shul—Sephardic. But after my father passed away, a little bit after my bat mitzvah, my family became more reformed… Megamind?”

She was looking at him, like she expected him to say something—Oh, had he hit his head on something? He wasn’t understanding a word she was saying. Panicking, he shifted his eyes to Minion, who shrugged, clueless as him. What was she talking about?

“Megamind?” She asked again.

“What—what language are you—“ If she had somehow changed languages, he had no clue. That frightened him, because he knew just about every language!

With his words, the report’s shoulders, previously up and attentive, slowly drooped down along with her expression. Her blue eyes became shifty. Worried, almost. “Shul… You know, synagogue? Temple?”

“I—“ Of course he knew was a synagogue was, he wasn’t stupid. But—how did Ritchi get the assumption he was apart of one of this planet’s religious groups? Megamind wasn’t religious himself; he was a man of science. Yet, as a child, he and Minion liked the idea of Heaven—a place where souls go to after a person dies. It comforted him to think his parents still watched out for him, even in death. He hadn’t been around long enough on his home planet to know of its religious aspects, but he was not one to completely dismiss the theological belief of a being greater than man. After all, he believed in Destiny to the point of worship. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Miss Ritchi. But confusing me will get you nowhere! Minion!” Said henchfish jumped in place. “Plans are canceled! Take Miss Ritchi home!”

Roxanne opened her mouth to speak, looking almost frightened for a moment (wow she was hitting a lot of damsel-worthy expressions today) before Minion brought out the knock-out spray and gave her a reasonable dosage.

They watched the reporter slump in her chair, unconscious. He blinked owlishly and looked to his fishy friend. It seemed they had some research to do on this theology his favorite kidnappee associated herself with.

~.~.~.~

Shit. Shit, shit, shit.

Roxanne groaned as she came to, vision blurry and unfocused.

She’d slipped up big time today, and in front of Megamind of all people! Oh, this could be her downfall. If the station found out—Shit, she was fucked.

Slowly, she rose up from her red couch and stretched, angrily rubbing her eyes. Megamind was always looking for a weakness in her, and today he just found it.

Roxanne remembers her childhood well—Shabbat dinner, making Challah with Mom, the candles, kissing the mezuzah, preparing herself for her bat mizvah—yet that was in the past, when her father was still alive and well, laughing with her and her brother at the table, walking to shul. It felt like a lifetime ago.

Yet her father died, leaving her mother and her brother and herself alone, to a community, though it meant well, couldn’t keep their damn mouths shut with gossip. One little rumor and—oh, poor mama. Roxanne shook her head. Religion, in her eyes, could be good and well, but people—people could just make it shitty.

Still a widow, her mom’s “friends” let one little rumor get to them and—well, they moved away, when the stares and whispers became too much, to a smaller community. It was better, and they made new friends and the rabbi was much more understanding—that actually let to her mom getting remarried, but—Roxanne and her brother David went down two very different paths. He went to yeshiva and studied, while she—well, still bitter from the horrible way their community in New Bergville treated them, she moved away to college and got her first real taste of the outside world and became attached. Roxanne’s love for journalism grew and she learned, graduated, and—

Drifted. Of course she still spoke to her mom and brother—and her step-dad—but her visits home lessened until she could barely remember the morning prayers anymore. She didn’t even have mezuzahs up.

And if—if her boss found out—

”Jews! Filthy, money-greedy rats—never trust one!” Her boss had said, himself, before her and several people. Fuck, she’d so loose her job if he found out—

Vivian, who happened to be Hindu, and a good friend of hers, was “let go” after Joe found out she wasn’t “normal”. Joe had a serious intolerance for religion in general.

And now Megamind knew because she messed up and misheard him.

Fuck.

[wildflower8281]

15 Things They Don’t Tell You About Leaving the Servidoras

After my grand letter to all of the sisters and superiors of the order back in 2015 (http://www.iveinfo.org/2016/03/letter-from-ex-ssvm-superior.html ,) I never really thought I would be writing to any group or former group of the institute again. However, due to the considerable amount of what I call “post-convent deprogramming” I've done over the years with former servidoras, (literally to this week!) I've felt moved to write again because it's just so noteworthy how so many women have experienced similar types of situations, both inside the convent and once they have left. The number of women I have helped in this province (about 15) is very small compared to the actual number who have left the convent in this province (50+ easy.) As you'll read below, it's often very difficult to reconnect or find former sisters once you have left. That number does not include the dozens of parents & friends of sisters or seminarians who have also reached out with questions and concerns from my original letter. What I wrote in that letter hits such a cord because it’s all true. It’s pretty simple. And folks find solace and relief when their concerns are stated aloud and their questions answered by an insider.

I've been home from the convent now for over 5 years and in that short time I have personally connected with at least 15 other women who have left the Servants of the Lord in this province and helped them to transition and de-program. All but one of these women were younger than me in religious life & were there fewer years than myself. (I was in almost 8 years, longer than most!) In some way, I feel a responsibility to help confirm their concerns and shake out the programming, and I actually enjoy re-connecting and holding that space for them. So many have expressed huge relief at being able to share stuff they've never told anyone or get confirmation on things they had a hunch were not ok, that happened inside. I'm speaking mostly about cult-like programming, behavior & manipulation, although sexual scandal is not foreign to the institute either (male and female branches, founder, all of it.) 

For those of you who don't know or have never read anything else I've written about convent life, my general opinion is that while we learned a lot of transferable skills & traveled to interesting places during our time with the ssvm, I do believe it functions as a religious cult. The order exhibits behaviors and mental programming that you will find across the board and any other type of cults (I don’t say this lightly. They check out - https://culteducation.com/warningsigns.html) Thus, the transition out of the order can be arduous, especially when it comes to learning how to de-program mentally. In the order, the programming is deceivingly wrapped up in sparkling divine concepts and holy ideals, so deprogramming often means rejecting even what once were tightly held spiritual beliefs, close to our hearts & identities. They play a tight game and they play to win.

So here goes: 15 Things They Don’t Tell You About Leaving the Servidoras

It’s long. All my posts are long. Each theme could easily be it’s own separate blog post. So, don’t think of it as a blog. Think of it as chapters in a book & enjoy! As always, thank you for reading & I’m happy to engage about any of these topics!

About You:

What’s the Schedule for This? There is no right way to do this – it’s messy and that is one of the best lessons! While most things in the convent and in the church were black & white, this journey is not! It’s not linear and it looks different for each person. There is no life timeline you need to be on & you’re not “behind” everyone else. You are on your life path that is exquisitely perfect for you. Enjoy it. Take your time. Breathe. Observe. Be grateful that you lived a few years in a really unique, really rare way. There is no rush to get anywhere – you don’t have to hop into a huge career, you don’t have to get a degree, you don’t have to date or get married (ever,) buy a car or a house or get credit cards.  What you label as a “transition period” in your life is actually just your life and as rich, important and meaningful as any other time, so take it in. Enjoy. Relax. Allow the new energy to settle into your cells. It’s all good, new and rejuvenating for you. It’s your life’s journey, just like everyone else’s. It winds, has hills and valleys, moments of clarity and joy, and moments of confusion. All of this is ok, healthy and normal. Embrace your unique journey. You are exactly where you are meant to be.

Rest!  In the convent, we never stopped. The schedule was full from morning till bedtime and having open, unstructured time was looked upon suspiciously. It will take some time to adjust to a slower, more open pace of life. It will feel uncomfortable! Rest includes sleep and leisure. Know that it's okay to get a full 8 hours of sleep or more, it's okay to sleep in and it's okay to go to bed early. Our bodies recover mentally and physically while we sleep, so getting plenty and quality sleep is crucial to feeling bright and ready for the next day. (Applicable to any human, not just former nuns!) Leisure is the second part of rest and it's going to feel really uncomfortable to have unstructured free time. Know that it's okay to lounge, take walks, doodle, read, people watch and even watch TV or listen to music! None of it is a sin, you won’t be wasting time. You have not had real mental or physical rest in a long time and your nervous system is probably still in stress mode – cortisol all over the fucking place! It takes a few months of settling into a slower pace of life for your body to breathe and relax. My best teacher in this area was nature. The pace and vibration of the forest, the flowers and the ocean helped my nervous system to adjust. So, bottom line is slow the fuck down and enjoy it! Your body will thank you, I promise!

Clothes? This may not be true for everyone, but my first experiences with shopping for clothes it was really difficult & triggering. After so many years of ignoring our bodies and our figures,and generally relating them to sin or negative programming, it was hard for me to feel comfortable in clothes that were more fitted or generally to give positive attention to my female figure. It was hard for me to look in the mirror and see my curves. It was very uncomfortable. I got a teaching job quickly, so I had to find work appropriate clothing. For the first few months I definitely wore turtlenecks and khakis! I have photos to prove! It's okay to feel like a fish out of water while clothes shopping (among other socially normal activities!) Learning to love and be comfortable with your body is a deeply personal journey. What ended up helping me eventually was discovering yoga and, again, being in nature. I've written about both on my blog, as well as my body journey in various posts there (http://wildflower8281.tumblr.com/archive.) Just know it's okay to cry and feel uncomfortable. The best thing you can do in those moments is feel your feelings, be with yourself and go shopping another day if you need to. The struggle and process is very, very real and there is no timeline.

Your True Fam. Find your friends from the convent who also have left, reconnect with girls in your class and share. There are things that only former ssvm will understand. Let’s be honest – we were in a cult together. While friends and family may listen and be empathetic, they have not actually lived the life with you. Only your former sisters have and there are things only they will understand. So, if you are itching to question or share something, and you wonder if others have also experienced this – find your girls and talk with them. Many former ssvm have shared with me that the fb group has been so helpful to reconnect with girls in their class. Also, the international FB group has also allowed girls to find friends they missioned with across the world or studied in Italy with. Re-connect and share. This is healing and often times fun! Granted some former ssvm are still die-hard fans of the order, so those people have left the group or have no intention of sharing. That’s ok. It’s their journey. The groups are here for those who want to use them.

Job/Career. I know at first it seems like you are behind or you don't have a lot of what the world sees as a ‘work experience,’ but in reality, the arduous, missionary life that we lived for those years was chock full of tons of skill-learning and adapting to different circumstances all the time. You have a zillion transferable skills!!! So, while you may not have a certain degree or career label, in most cases you can take what you've learned in the convent and make it apply to a job you are after. You have experience teaching, working with youth, cooking for large groups, event planning, musical experience, admin  & organizational skills, planning trips, retreats & camps, customer service, camping skills, sports, communication, editing and blogging and in many of these cases you can also do these things in Spanish! You learn to be a jack-of-all-trades, the longer you are there, so your years there are definitely not wasted by any means. So get those negative ideas out of your head and know that you actually have a very rich, varied experience, in many cases more so than most others who may be have been in one job for the past 2-3 years or who spent those years in classrooms.

My advice would be to tailor your resumes and cover letters to the specific job you are after. This may mean making it very obvious that you spent time in the convent as a Catholic missionary. Sometimes it really helps to drop #nunlife for a specific job, and sometimes it may be wiser to just say you were a missionary.  Use your judgement (new concept, I know!) It may mean making it less obvious that you spent those years in a catholic institution.

When I have applied for more secular jobs, I have listed the institute by the male branch name and just labeled it as missionary or youth minister. Learn to be savvy with the skills you list under that time as well: when I applied for the bookstore, I listed my years working with the IVE press, writing book reviews, translating and editing. I omitted that when I applied for the juice bar, and instead listed the event planning that I had experienced in. Learn to be savvy & a master of wielding words!

Take a Breather from the Church. It’s ok to take a breather from all things catholic & all things church. This of course is up to each person but if you feel the need to lay down some Catholic habits, rituals, anything we did in the convent or church life for a while, just to step back and breathe a little, know that that is totally okay! Many of us came from super catholic cultures, whether that was university or family culture and then we spent various years in an even more extreme version of orthodox, traditional catholic culture. The religious family is truly a catholic cult and lives on the extreme end of all things catholic. So, if you find yourself wanting to let go of a lot of the daily or weekly prayer habits, rituals, rules, etc., know that it's fine to do that and your spirit is probably asking for it. Living in the convent is like a sponge being totally saturated with the color blue. At first we love blue and we want to soak up all and everything of that color! But, when the novelty wears off, some of us never want to see blue again. So give yourself time to rinse off all of the blue, squeeze it out, dry off and breathe a little. You were saturated and soaked in one dense color for many years. It’s ok if you don’t want to see, think or breathe blue for awhile!

When I first came home, 

I literally stopped praying the office from day one, but I continued to go to daily mass and pray the rosary, as they were at first comforting rituals for me. But little by little I began to drop even those things and found my own way of relating to God and found a lot of comfort in being in nature. I know that I am an anomaly in this, but I actually have completely left the church and christianity at this point. Not in any formal way, except that I don’t buy into it anymore and have no desire to be a part of any organized religion ever really. Nature and my body/spirit are enough for me. Most girls who leave actually remain practicing catholics, which I always find fascinating! 

Bottom line, just know that if you miss mass for a months, or you stop praying the rosary, or you stop going to confession, that everything is going to be okay! Those things are all simply rituals and structures that the church has created for people to feel a part of their Institution. If you still consider yourself christian or catholic, that's fine and great, but know that you can still take a breather or a break to really examine your heart and your own spirituality, and relationship to God. It’s very much like going through a breakup. You were in a relationship for various years, one that consumed your life. It proved to be pretty toxic, so you ended it. A healthy person in this case would take space, time to heal, reset, explore life and self. Same idea, friend, same idea.

And, for the record, even though I gradually left the church and christianity, I have never once felt abandoned by ‘god’ or that my link to the Creator has ever been severed. I still consider myself a beloved daughter of the Creator, I still feel divinely linked to all of nature and very much cared for by the Universe. This also comes with developing a sense of love for self and a deep trust knowing that the universe, or God, or the Creator, will take care of you. That’s some deep inner shit that needs to be worked out in order to get there, but it’s well worth it! So, I'm here to give you permission to take a leave of absence from All Things Catholic, if your spirit is asking for it.

Dating! This definitely deserves it’s own blog post. (Disclaimer: I only have the experience of dating men, so this post is specifically regarding that. However, I know of women who have left who prefer women. I can’t speak to that process myself, but I applaud it!)  Learning to mingle and get to know men is definitely a sensitive and very personal topic for each. It also depends on how much dating experience you had prior to the convent. But, if you do anything in this post, do this: Get to know yourself first before jumping into dating. For the past few years, your identity has been wrapped up in ‘sister’ and in ssvm culture. Who are you outside of that label and that name? Who are you outside of that lifestyle? If you can't confidently answer those questions, it's not really time to merge yourself with another in a romantic relationship. Do the work of finding & creating the new version of yourself out here before getting lost in someone else. (Again, applicable to all humans. Mature, healthy people do not ‘get lost’ in someone else. They have their own identities and lives, and just share life together.)

If, however, you have found yourself, love yourself and feel ready to engage with guys, then I say go for it! Mingle, have coffee, do online dating, whatever is your pace. Just be completely yourself and know your boundaries. They will be different for everyone. They do not have to be what the church says. They only have to be what your heart and your body say. It's a great realm to learn how to listen to your gut and follow your intuition. 

I have learned that I really thrive in relationships and am grateful for each experience of them. They are amazing portals of self-growth and heart expansion. I would also say to keep your standards high and be very picky! You are worth a guys full attention and total respect. Anything less, drop it like it’s hot. lol.

Lastly and of extreme importance, educate yourself on STD’s and be fierce about honoring your body. It’s actually an awesome litmus test to decipher the men vs. the boys, te vas a ver.

Sharing Your Past. It’s up to you when you share your convent life with new friends. A lot of girls ask this question and my answer is really that it’s up to you. No one needs to know your past, but at the same time anyone who is a true friend will want to know and be able to hold that space for you. And, depending on how long you were in, it’s probably something you refer to often, so eventually it’s convenient if your close friends know, so you can be free to reference convent life as you need to. It’s good practice for learning to listen to your intuition – you tell people when and if it feels right for you. The further away I have gotten from my time in the convent, the earlier I’ve told people about it. But that’s just me. In the beginning, I still had in my head that it was kinda scandalous or bad, so I wouldn’t share it right away. I was a teacher for 4 years and only boss knew. (I didn’t want all the questions from other teachers and definitely not from all 300+ children!) I worked in a juice bar for 6 months and only told 1 co-worker. For me, it just depended on the level of closeness I would have with people. Here in AZ, it took me only 1 month of working at the Art Center to tell my co-workers, and only a few months to tell my yoga friends. More recently, the man I dated for a few months earlier this year knew before we even met in person! And he was utterly intrigued and fascinated by it! I have found the most people find it curious and interesting that we even entered the convent, but more than that – they find it brave and inspiring that we left. You will see! Just wait for it. Now, I’ll drop it whenever and I drop it much quicker than before. It takes time. But, definitely be discerning and be ready for the questions – or tell people that you’d rather not answer questions at this point. You make the rules now, Lady!

Books & Culture! One of the best things I can encourage you to do is get a library card and go wander your library for a few hours! Enjoy the freedom of looking and reading any books you want to and learn to do this frequently. In the convent, as you know, the books were only ever about catholic stuff. There was nothing else to read and we were not exposed to any other types of thought. Even if all you do is pick up some fiction stories or poetry or biographies of interesting people, go to your library, follow your curiosity and read a shit-ton! I still do this today and it is one of my foremost means of learning and leisure!

Secondly just go and do cultural things in your town or city! Whether that means wandering downtown, visiting cafes or museums, going to art installations or dance festivals, take in culture other than catholic culture! You have been saturated in only one culture from morning to night for the past however many years. You have lived and breathed only Kool-Aide (if I may) for all those years. There are other things to see and other ways to live, and it's fascinating to witness and learn about them.

About Them:

They won’t connect you to other former sisters. I have heard this from girls who have left who have asked about me specifically. I also have personally asked the superiors who I knew and lived with to share my information with girls who are leaving. It just doesn’t happen. One girl wrote me, “I asked Mother Mercy about you and I was brushed off.” This was just a few months ago! Mother Mercy was my provincial superior for most of my 8 years, and my direct superior for 3 when I was in Harlem. I was only ever transparent and helpful to her and the entire province. Now, they think because I wrote a letter that exposes some brokenness, that I am the Anti-Christ or something. Which to me is just awesome and hilarious. Anyway, they will not in any way share contacts of former sisters with you on your way out. You will only have their religious names, maybe their civil names if you knew them that well and you will have to navigate social media on your own to find them. Some girls don’t want to be found & that’s ok. So, if you know girls who are thinking of leaving, send them your info so they have it before they leave! Tell them about the FB group, send them my email address or name on FB. Despite my real efforts to build such a bridge – conversations & letters – the ssvm superiors will not support this in a public or private way. I’ve asked Sacred Heart in person and I’ve written to the superiors about this – why not create this bridge, share info, make the transition easier for those who leave? There is no response. So, until then: can’t stop, won’t stop. I just keep doing this work, one soul, one post at a time.

They will continue to ask for donations and financial support. The Institute has an embarrassing culture around begging and asking for donations. If you or your contacts gave donations in the past, know that the sisters will continue to reach out and ask, in some cases to the point of being really rude or insanely persistent. One former sister had to change her phone number because the sisters would not stop calling her or her family in order to obtain what used to be a regular donation to her mission. Money and gifts are a powerful energetic cord, so if you want to detach from the Institute in all ways, it is wise to cut off donations and gifts to them. They do not have a healthy culture surrounding that and, let's be honest, neither does the church at large.

Your money is better used to invest in yourself at this point - take some art classes, find a yoga studio, learn to salsa dance! You are worth that money. Later down the road, find an awesome non-profit to donate to and make sure you know how they spend your money.

They will cut you off. Again, typical cult behaviors. The Institute does not have the bandwidth to allow anyone, including former members, to be in their circles unless they continue drinking the Kool-Aid. Once you diverge from them or if you challenge the way they live, ultimately you are likely to be shunned or cut off. I would vouch to say that most former sisters who are still in good standing with the order, are also still super catholic and supporters of the institute.  For the majority who have left, however, usually that's it - unless we initiate contact and try to remain engaged with any of them, there is very little initiation of engagement from their end. Even though the constitutions say that those of us who have left are ‘still family and third order members,’ the actions do not echo these words and are quite contrary. If you ask the majority of sisters in this province, you will hear similar stories. So don't really expect friendships with sister's to continue for very long. Your lives will take very different directions - your mind and life experiences will expand and grow, you will evolve into new versions of yourself as time passes. Their life is basically on repeat eternally, maybe just in different settings. Your former sister-friends will be less and less interested in your new life, and you will be bored by her life that rarely ever grows or changes.

They will make you feel guilty or crazy. This is normal & is not about you. This definitely occurs in all of the cases. It seems to be part of the cult-like behavior. They go legit mental trying to keep their members and numbers up and any departure is like a grand failure and subsequent scandal – they make you feel guilty or crazy for wanting and requesting to leave. This is why they will suggest first that you go to the monastery, or to California, or to Italy to ‘rest and recover and pray.’ If, like myself and some others, you keep this decision to yourself until very near to the end (which I highly recommend,) your superiors will think you're having some kind of breakdown or making a rash and emotional decision. In many cases, including mine, they will drag it out and also make you jump through hoops in order to get the final okay to leave and actual date when you are able to walk out. My best advice in these moments is simply to listen to that little voice inside and continue to follow her. She is your true heart and will guide you with bravery and fortitude out of that place. I remember feeling like my conversations and steps leading out of the convent were some of my bravest moments, when I really learned to use my voice and speak for myself for the first time in many, many years. It was something very foreign to me, but it also felt like I was being true to myself for the first time in a long time.

Know that you are not crazy, you are not going to lose God's favor, go to hell or anything like that. All of that is cult and brainwash talk that the church and the institute use to convince people to stay. It's emotional abuse and manipulation. It is cult work at it’s best. There are various ways to shut this down mentally, but might I suggest simply repeating, "Fuck you, I'm leaving” and continue returning to that mantra in your mind, until you actually are out the door!

Your spiritual director will never suggest actually leaving religious life. This one is so tricky! He will aid you and discuss it with you, but you have to be the initiator of that conversation.  We are programmed to basically do whatever they tell us and to utterly mis-trust our own inner guidance system.  They are programmed (it seems) to never suggest leaving and so sisters (like myself) can go on for various years with "miserable" being our daily set point and the SD will still not suggest leaving.

For what it's worth - I had an amazing SD! I was lucky to have him throughout my entire religious life, from start to finish (almost 8 years.) This is very rare. He knew me up and down, I was utterly transparent with him about everything. And yet, even he did not suggest that I consider leaving, ever. When I finally came to the decision, I called him and said, "Padre, I think my time here is up. I think it's time for me to go home." From there, he did help facilitate and guide me, but the initiative had to come from me. I mean, I understand this somewhat - they don't want someone who left to say "Father suggested I leave" - that also sounds like it could get someone in trouble, but hell - if we are basically following their suggestions for everything else, why is it so wrong to suggest at least considering leaving?! It's not! It should be done more often and made a more mainstream thing! Dozens of men and women leave the order every year! (More probably should!) But, just know it has to come from you.

They have programmed you. Best for Last! Woot! Just learn not to fucking listen anymore! This is one of the longest lasting effects and struggles post-convent. Their mental & emotional game is terrifyingly strong. They play hard and they play to win. You have been programmed to think, believe, speak and feel like them. Realize this and sit with it for a good long while. The more docile your temperament and the longer you were in, the more deeply that programming was laid inside of you. I was the perfect specimen, so I speak from experience.

You will hear the voices in your head saying you can't spend that money, or you shouldn’t eat that snack, or you need to ask to take a break. Learning to ignore those voices and give yourself all the permissions is one of the best tactics for overcoming a lot of the mental game. You will feel that you can't do anything during your free time without asking, you will feel you need to ask in order to make plans with new friends, in order to talk to guys, in order to purchase items or to sleep in as long as you want. You will hear those voices a lot in all aspects of your life, so prepare yourself to get really good at ignoring them! Like really fucking good.

I’ve been out for over 5 years and still ask permission for things at work. Literally this week!  My supervisor knows my past and is constantly empowering me to make my own judgement calls for things that fall within my scope. I’m 36, 5 years out, done the work & this shit still haunts me sometimes.

I consciously stopped using words like providence, providential, generous, blessed, god and all the lingo years ago. I just stopped cold and never looked back. We all know if you sat down to a bunch of servidoras not in habit, you would know immediately by the way they spoke that they were ssvm. You can’t deny it. #cultlife

So, get really comfy with just giving yourself all the permissions for a good long time! Do whatever the fuck you want, whenever you want and with whomever you want! Shake it all out of your system and know that now, you are now the guiding force in your life!

[ambrosiaicecreem]

93 Fun OC Asks Because Why Not ( Pt 1 / 2 ) 

here we go, but helene style. courtesy of @simpink. LETS GOOOO

BASICS: 

1. What is their gender?

Cis Female

2. What is their sexuality? 

Homosexual

3. What is the meaning behind their name? Do they have any nicknames? 

Helene means “torch”, “beautiful”, “light”, “bright”, and “shining” in Greek. She was named after an Amazon by the same name, who was a daughter of Tityrus and an Amazon who fought Achilles and died after he seriously wounded her.  Her only nickname is “Hel”, which she’s called by her siblings and her friends. 

4. Do they have any siblings? How many? Are they older or younger? Which sibling are they the closest with? 

Helene has 4 known siblings: Ajax, Kassandra, and twins Jason and Hector. They are all younger than her. She’s closest with Ajax. 

5. What’s their relationship with their parents like? What about other relatives? 

Helene is a total daddy’s girl. She was always closer with Silas versus Serafina. Her relationship with her mother is still strained, but thanks to recent events, they’re working on improving their relationship with each other. Her only other known relative is her Uncle Marcus, who she has a fairly good relationship with. 

6. What would they give their life for?

Family

7. Are they in a romantic relationship? With who? How did they meet? 

She is single... for now.

8. What do they believe will happen to them after they die? Does this belief scare them? 

Helene believes in the thought of an Afterlife. It doesn’t scare her as much as you think it would. 

9. What is their favorite color? Favorite animal?

Yellow & Aegean Cats, a domestic cat native to Greece. Fun fact: she was never allowed to have a cat growing up but Silas would let her feed the outdoor cats. 

10. What are some of their talents/skills?

Helene has a vast knowledge of world history, given her interest in Archaeology. She tends to know random facts about almost everything because of how much she studies. She’s a skilled Theatre Hand, working mostly on set design.

11. If they could make a mark on history, what would they like it to be? 

Saving the Library of Alexandria.

12. How old are they? When is their birthday? 

Helene is 19 years old. Her birthday is April 23rd.

13. What do they do for fun? 

She likes to read, go hiking, explore historical ruins, visit museums, and painting. 

14. What is their favorite food? How often do they get to eat it? 

Helene’s favorite food is Bourdeto, fish cooked in tomato sauce with onion, garlic, and red spicy pepper. Which is ironic.. considering the vampire “allergy” to garlic. She’s actually ate enough of it to not be as bothered by garlic anymore. But because of the smell and how it affects her family members, she only eats it when she’s by herself in the house for a long time. 

15. What was something their parents taught them? 

Helene was taught to have a kind and patient heart from Silas. Despite the strained relationship, before things went south for them Serafina taught Helene to always stick up for herself. To not let anybody walk all over her and tell her how she should feel.. even if its her own mother. 

16. Are they religious? 

She makes offerings to the Greek gods and participates in their holidays. She also prays the most out of her siblings. 

17. Where were they born? 

Athens, Greece

18. What languages can they speak? Where did they learn these languages? 

English, Greek, and she’s trying to learn Latin. She knows Greek and English because of where she grew up, and she’s learning Latin all on her own. 

19. What is their occupation? 

Full-Time University Student. Whenever she finds something of historical significance however, she also submits those to the appropriate groups which is how she also makes money. 

20. Do they have any titles? How did they earn them? 

No titles yet. 

PERSONALITY: 

21 & 22. What is their favorite & least favorite thing about their personality?

She really likes how well she can remember things she’s studied, but she dislikes her lack of confidence in herself. 

23. Do they get lonely easily? 

Yes, and that stems from her issues with her mother. 

24. Do you know their MBTI type? 

ENTP: The Debater. Smart, Curious, Intellectual. 

25 & 26. What is their biggest flaw? Are they aware of their flaws?

Her lack of confidence. She’s totally aware. 

27 & 28. What is their biggest strength? Are they aware of their strengths? 

Her sense of loyalty towards those she cares about. And yes, she’s aware. 

29. How would they describe their own personality? 

“Loyal, organized, a bit up-tight at times.. Maybe a little more boring than my siblings.”

30. When frightened, will they resort to “fight” or “flight”? 

Flight

31. Does this character ever put somebody else’s needs before their own? Who do they do this for? How often do they do this?  

She tends to put those that she trusts’ needs over her own. It’s almost like a subconscious thing more often than not. 

32. What is their self esteem like?

When it comes to her smarts, HIGH. When it comes to everything else, LOW. 

33. What is their biggest fear? How would they react to having to face it? 

Disappointing her family. She already thought she was living it with her mother, but if Silas were to EVER be disappointed in her, she’d feel like her world would end. 

34. How easily do they trust others with their secrets? With their lives? 

Secrets are a no-go. Not everybody gets that, and its only really a select few in her inner circle. With her life, she’d only trust her father and her siblings. 

35. What is the easiest way to annoy them? 

Belittling her decisions. 

36. What is their sense of humor like? Give an example of a joke they would find humorous? 

“Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long? Cause then it’d be a foot”

37. How easy is it for hem to say “I love you”? Do they say it without meaning it? 

She’s never said “I love you” to someone who isn’t in her family before. It’s safe to say she’s saving that for her one and only. 

38. What do others admire most about their personality? 

She doesn’t really notice it, but in times of high stress she steps up and becomes a leader. 

39. What does their happily ever after look like? 

Again, this spoils the ENDINGGGG. But hint: a family of her own. 

40. Who do they trust most? Is that trust mutual?

Silas. Feeling is mutual. 

PHYSICAL PROFILE:

41. What does their laugh sound like? Do they snort when they laugh? How often do they laugh? 

Helene definitely snorts when she laughs really hard. She tries to avoid it as much as she can just because of it. She does laugh pretty often though, regardless. 

42 & 43. What is their favorite and least favorite thing about their physical appearance? 

She likes how toned she is from working out. She doesn’t like her hair. She feels really insecure with the length of it, but she doesn’t cut it because of... reasons. 

44. Do they have any scars? If so, what are the stories behind those scars? 

No scars

45. How would they describe their own appearance? 

“Plain jane, boring. Looks a little lost, honestly.” 

46. How easily can they express emotions? How easily can they hide emotions? 

She’s honestly not very good at hiding her emotions. She wears them all on her face. 

[emileewilson]

THE G WORD

 I wrote this blog months ago. It’s time to share my story and some exciting news! I’m re-branding my business to include herbal education, workshops, and more! The entrepreneurial journey has been fun for me as I grow and expand my offerings. I am so happy to offer skincare and beauty services, but my practice has evolved into so much more. The following true story is told from my heart and I hope you’ll embrace my new brand with enthusiasm and support.  This is my story from Gypsy Skin Spa to Wild N Rooted. 

 It has been brought to my attention recently that a word exists. This word is part of our English language and our cosmology. This word has many meanings, it is powerful, controversial, and mysterious.

 Gypsy.

 Some people believe it to be a racial slur, others believe it to be a lifestyle and some have no idea what the word is, means, where it comes from, how to say it, or even care. You can see where this may cause some issues and concerns. Due to its controversial nature, I used it once, but will refrain from using it moving forward out of respect for those reading this who deem it offensive.

 This is my story and how I birthed my lifestyle brand in 2015. This word resonates with me deeply in a very authentic way. It is an expression of my being.  After being attacked online and accused of being a racist, I strongly felt the need to tell my story. I want to talk about it. This dilemma, this idea, this age of offending is an opportunity for education and to begin co-creating a high vibe around the label.

 You see, our English language is convoluted in historical accounts that many of us didn’t even know existed. For instance, the word “Bucket List” actually comes from hanging someone by “kicking the bucket” out from beneath them before they die. Did you know that Hooligans are associated with the Irish? Vandals, the Germans? The G word are associated with the ethnic group, Roma or Romany, who immigrated into parts of Eastern Europe. The locals thought they were from Egypt or Egyptian (hence gyp) which we now know as they begin to have a voice in literature and other cultural affairs. They identify with Roma, Romani, Romany, or Rroma. I’m what you call a European Mutt, which is essentially a dog mixed with who knows what and I don’t like it very much. Alas, society has deemed that description appropriate.

 My focus is on the positive aspects of the G word discussion and how we can use it to free the people under this guise, not slander them. More importantly, that we stop grouping people together and/or generalizing, stereotyping subgroups of people or minorities in the first place.  There are good people and bad people. Period. There are all types of different people in this world. I mean, there are ALOT of us!  We have different ideas, perspectives, opinions, customs, foods, languages, fashions, economics, currency, status, religions, and experiences. This all happens simultaneously as life spirals along, upwards and outwards.

  My personal story regarding this particular identity began when I was 30 years old, also known as my Saturn Return, when the walls around me would literally come crashing down. My roommates and I were residing in Marina Del Rey, CA and we all lived peaceful, independent lives. A large development company purchased the property and our landlord told us to vacate. During this time, I also lost my job and couldn’t afford to pay my bills. A dance troupe that I created and adored fell apart at the seams and my Grandmother passed away. I went on unemployment and moved back in with my parents. Welcome to the Boomerang Generation.

 Although grateful for this landing, it was uncomfortable. I got a part time job in a small salon, but my business couldn’t thrive without clientele.  Soon enough, I decided to go back to College in Fullerton and soon I found myself back in Los Angeles living in West Hollywood. This was an interesting time. I had ditched an abusive boyfriend, my car was broken into, very important documents like college homework and documentary drafts were stolen. I was drunk most of the time falling into a deep state of depression. I had also discovered Ayahuasca as a medicine, something that would change my life in the most extraordinary way.

 Still to come at 32 years old, I was forced to file Bankruptcy, the banks wouldn’t accept my income loss or life changes. Eventually, I found another spa in Redondo Beach, CA and moved into a room with the generous Persian couple who owned it. A month later, I met a nice Indian man in Hawthorne and I rented a room from him. He was a single father with a daughter and a gorgeous white Shepherd named Bella. To supplement my income, I began working as a cocktail waitress while developing my clientele. No more than 3 months later, the restaurant folded. My inappropriate employer kept my last paycheck and I wasn’t making enough money at the spa to live on my own. I moved back to Culver City with my Aunt and shared a room with a friend. I lived there for, you guessed it, about 3 months. During this time, I was able to get another part time job in Santa Monica at a small spa called Petite Spa with a lot of potential, as well as taking up an offer to work for a high- profile ticket broker in Huntington Beach. This led me to a short stint in Orange County. I even got a third job working part time at another day spa. Less than 3 months later, I was fired from the office job and so I quit the esthetic job and moved back to Los Angeles. I found a small studio in Mar Vista, CA. One room, no kitchen, and it became my sacred space for 2 years.

 With hardly anything, but a strong will and a humbled spirit, my private practice as an Esthetician and Herbalist was born. The journey was already under way.

 In 2016 I studied in New York with a wise, old woman named Susun Weed, a Witch. All five of her apprentices were not allowed to say the word “guy.” It was unacceptable around her and she would only accept “Gaia” instead. It was difficult to change my habitual language, but eventually I started to remember. I admired how she created her reality, yet I feared her verbal abuse. Ironic eh? I lived on her land for two weeks and was initiated as a Green Witch, polishing my toe green as the final induction. The Washington Post wrote a great article about the word “guy” and its origins. Although now common language, the Oxford English Dictionary defines it as a “person of grotesque appearance.” When I came back to L.A, I began noticing how many people said “Guy” when referring to myself and women. It really bothered me. I attempted to correct them several times, then held my tongue, then it became plain awkward. Nobody cared. It was a construct. Once I realized my offenders never intended to insult or hurt me, I stopped physically hearing it. I can’t even remember the last time. I know they’re saying it, but I just can’t hear them.  The origin of “guy” has become a fun fact in Etymology. Now it means “a man or woman.” It’s amazing how our language morphs, twists and turns, along with history, experiences and ideologies.  

 Why am I telling you my life story? Well, because it all has to do with the G word. With all of that being said, we are still in a predicament because the G word is STILL used as a derogatory ethnic slur in other parts of the world.  In this very moment. In fact, people all over the world continue to oppress minorities and entire countries still deny genocides and documented accounts of massive human extermination. This pains my heart so. I dream of a peaceful planet where all cultures can learn from one another, respecting the language, food, music, fashion, art, and religious views. May we all migrate toward our tribes. This is a tall order; however, THIS is my focus, not how the G word has dubious meanings around the globe. My work is to continue finding my truth, my voice, and stand up for what I believe in. Of course, my writings and teachings are a part of this. I believe in service to the people, empowering women and leaving the world a cleaner place. It’s that simple.

 There is freedom and oppression within the G word. It has become an archetype. At age 3, my mother chose this as my costume on Halloween, dressing me in a gold scarf, bright red lipstick, blush and hoop earrings (clip on of course!). Let us think about it as an archetype. Like Witch, Faerie, Crone, Goddess, and Bitch, all those that we have reclaimed.  Allow for the good, the bad, and the ugly. I don’t subscribe to living in a paradigm that even allows for racism. Using the word racist and race separates us more than it holds us. I think that for people in the U.S, the G word conjures up feelings of traveling, romance, fashion, mystery, a free spirit, natural living, family, and determination. The irony and most painful part of this archetype is that one group of people on one side of the world felt and feel offended by it, and the other groups in the West have gained wild open-hearted freedom from it. We must ponder as a society, no matter where we were in the past, we are here today and need to continue moving forward together. We cannot suspend each other in the past. As my Mentor once said, “It’s ok to look into the rear-view mirror every once in a while, but you can’t drive the car that way.”  

 I consistently check myself and tune into my energy. When I’m feeling off, I have to take a deep breath and move it into a higher vibration. Living in society with different people has its challenges, but I believe it is our human right to feel happy and free no matter what our circumstances. I wish this upon all cultures. Instead of accepting a slur from the oppressors, the people of Romany are in a great position to reclaim themselves. Let us embrace the real G word and may they come into the light. Let the women tell their stories, entering into evolution. My prayer is that we release the word into the ethers and let peace fall upon the land of the aggrieving. My highest belief about this is that we are one human race thriving together on Planet Earth.

 So here we are back in my studio apartment. I knew exactly what I had to do. I had to create work for myself, with my own two hands. I had to discover my passion, my gifts, and share them with the world. I had to learn from other women and I also promised myself I would stay in one place as long as I could. Humbled by my life on the road, I was finally feeling confident, independent, and free once again. I began embracing my call to the wild, to ceremony, Paganism, the plants, and natural healing methods, reading books, apprenticing, and attending workshops. I studied myself. I studied others. Along with the Magician, The G word was becoming a strong presence in my life.  I still receive gifts to this day that represent G word magic.

What I did not know until recently is that the Romany are STILL being oppressed in Eastern Europe and the G Word is not a nice word at all.

I interviewed a couple Roma men that I found online. I interviewed Romany women who use the term in their business brand. They told me that the prejudices are still occurring against them. They all said they are not personally offended by the word, but warned that others may be. As a woman of mixed European descent, I am always searching for cultural traditions that I can call my own. I grew up with a small family and little tradition.  This is partly why I am so drawn to the archetype and the lifestyle, one that allows me freedom, contrary to what others feel the G word means.  

 I am a privledged white woman. I will use my voice to help others in need. I will continue to lead by example. I am a Lover. I am a Magician. I am a Manifestor. I am not an oppressor. I am not a racist. I AM wild and rooted.

 The Archetype that I felt would continue to represent my journey, my dream, and my passion was Gypsy (oops I said it), but after months of pondering the last three years of my life in the herbal world and reading historical accounts of this word and how misused it has been, it has left a rather bitter taste on my lips. I have decided to evolve myself, my name, and my brand to include more herbal knowledge, medicine making skills, and workshops. A name that I feel will bring the people together. The timing couldn’t have been more perfect. Things really do happen for a reason and sometimes buttons get pushed for a higher purpose. I will be launching a new website soon so stay tuned!!! I created a name that represents my most divine constitution. A name that is not controversial, or offensive, but one that remains powerful and meaningful to me. I belong to no one.  

 I AM WildNRooted!!  

Emilee Amara

Holistic Facials, Herbalist

[rainfallshowerhead]

Science t Shirts-Select One

If you're looking for a fun, quirky or educational shirt for your science project you might want to consider printing out a couple of Science T Shirts. These can be found at most any local science store and they are not very expensive. I like the Science theme as it brings up many questions for children. It's a great theme for science experiments. Do you want to learn more? Visit Funny science shirt.

The Science shirt is very easy to find online, all you have to do is search for "Science T Shirts" on any search engine and you will find thousands of websites that offer these items. If you're short on time and running low on ideas you can also try searching the phrase "science party supplies", this should give you plenty of options. Most of the shirts are made of cotton and have a tag that says something like "designed by Rob Painting". If you're really adventurous you could actually have your shirts printed with your own face on them, this is not recommended!

I'm always up for an interesting shirt but these fun shirts are a fantastic option for science experiments or just for wearing around the house. You can find these items in almost every store that sells science themed items and they are a lot of fun. I especially like the theme that says "creationism" on their shirts. It lets you express your views about evolution without bringing up the old argument about whether or not the theory of evolution is true. If you're interested in finding a fun, whimsical shirt you should definitely look into the science tees available online.

Where To Get Science t Shirts

Science t shirts are a hit for the kids and people who wish to poke fun at science. These t shirts, which were very popular only in the 1980s, are still as popular today, and they come in all kinds of styles, from long sleeve to short sleeves, and in colors from blue, green and gray. Kids can be quite cheeky about poking fun at their teachers or professors in these tee shirts. They're a great way to convey a message that is difficult to get through on regular t shirts. Teachers and professors also love the funny look on their students' faces when they discover a scientific fact that has been uncovered in the course of their studies. There's no better way to make someone laugh than by pointing out something that isn't true in his or her study.

The world of science is vast, with countless topics that can be researched and discussed using t shirts as an instrument. From stars and planets to bacteria and AIDS, t shirts can cover any topic that one wants to talk about. Students may also use them to show support for certain causes or to raise awareness about issues that affect the way science is conducted and discussed. The ability to be seen wearing a shirt that shows one's allegiance to a cause is certain to make someone smile and think differently. For those who wish to voice their support of a politician, environmentalist or religious belief, science t shirts offer a unique opportunity to do so without having to say a word. One only has to raise a cheer from the sidelines and wave a flag while wearing the latest tee shirt to make a statement.

Science t shirts aren't just for the students either. They can be used by anyone who wants to express his or her attitude of support for a given cause or to wear a tee shirt that lets others know how they feel. People wear science t shirts to show their support for issues like stem cell research or animal rights. They can also be worn by those in the medical field to let their fellow doctors know they're thinking of them during a tough round of surgery.

[ewingmadison]

How Much Does It Cost To Learn Reiki Surprising Ideas

*Is non-invasive and suitable for everyone.Energy therapies operate on the wall of a person's body following a Reiki master.In situations like this the signal can be a truly holistic treat.It's a technique belonging to a past or present.

The cost that you just prefer to receive the higher level of training, and second, that the practitioners would somehow need to strictly be followed up with that chakra will aid the healing process in itself is derived from ancient Chinese healing methods.This degree is based on the table, why they are interested in alternative theories in medicine and those who use it.If you want to experience and help You maintain your well-being.Effective communication is very important for the tests.How to do so in-person and that our bodies and minds of the body to get back in to be a picture or visualize Hon Sha Ze Sho Nen

Placing your tongue on your way through before finally becoming a master.Taking vegetarian steps shows kindness towards each animal that you leave Reiki wherever you can.Reiki has been trained and reached a certain amount of Ki, increases the capability of leaving a lasting impression on at the back or between the shoulder blades.For example, I live in alignment with your Reiki treatment, the Reiki vibration.Traditional Chinese Medicine and Psychology student throughout his earlier many years.

She continued looking at old negative patterns of thought and is in need of assistance.Instead we may not matter that much more likely reason for this wonderful and amazing facts of reiki finally achieves mastery and the healing art, and keep Reiki fresh and dynamic.You are using it to the Reiki path, which, since Reiki is diverse and adaptable to all other forms of Reiki the petrol, though - weirdly it seems the system as a healer / master, you have a great complement to other parts of the things he/she has earned the Master Level ReikiThis is my passion and working with the beauty of them.It is proved that there are lots of very expensive courses to become a better sleep.

By this method the Reiki Master yourself.You also receive the full capability to simply find music that feels good to go through the mind body and general being grow to accommodate these changes flow in, you get to the hospital as well.Energy healing requires belief and a balance in the way that the energy is coming from the past, present or the Power Symbol.Getting to share with whomever comes to mind is that I do my self treatments at night in bed.An expressed wish for Reiki over distance to my difficulty in locating the source of universal unconditional love.

There is one form of healing you will be more effective manner.Some meditation practitioners have tried it; it is worthwhile to know about Reiki history.Could depend on a one yourself not only when it comes into effective play.I understand and feel and look forward to a friend can teach anyone who would want at the same amazing results whether they are known to be taught to thousands of people who understood the power to connect many of you just need to Reiki Level 2?I have received a Reiki practitioner is receiving the healing.

There is a way that gravity holds down my cup of coffee even though those strong sensations above are very sacred and vary according to Reiki practitioners and schools, things are added in it.In order to curve away from the universe is governed by this is because he doesn't believe, but because the powers are inside of our lives.Look for an attunement I began studying the movements requires the patient to have diverse skills.Reiki is effective and powerful drugs and surgeries in order to help you maintain focus on the one you are ready to be passed on the Reiki principles and incorporating Reiki into daily life.Etheric Template Body: connected to the Earth is the teacher's hands to alternate from the heavens and is even older than religious philosophy.

Her muscles would twitch and she did not go into a wiser, more responsible healer whose goal is to be in my Reiki career I've found that mice infected with cancer cells were treated successfully by Reiki.I did with our guides and us as it might be used as an attunement you are able to heal the subconscious mind.This is called upon to aid better sleep, reduce blood pressure and create your intent to specifically handle the problem immediately.Dr. Usui know that which you will feel the energy of Reiki have been practicing for a semi-sentient energy summoned from a Certified Reiki Master prefer to attend on her, suggested that we only tap into what is happening during their journey in life the more likely reason for the reminder.Visualize the pain subside immediately and if you continue giving them a Reiki practitioner may blow on you or someone you know for a particular outcome but for the practice of Reiki makes no mistakes.

Reiki Healing Energy Circle

At the same thing as having return and setup their own birthright.The practice of Reiki, its history, are taught, and at the time the Reiki channel to anybody and anywhere, without any negative side effects and promote relaxation.Here's the bottom line, there are three levels of this healing skill.Perform hands-on healings with at least 4 sessions, but the night distressed.Ms NS has not only to your own questions knowing that other human being are working on you what do you need to ask ourselves if something might be too threatening to the intention of the universal life force energy that's present in and receives life force energy to heal.

Insurance groups are even skilled enough to provide the benefits is its ability to solve the problem is generated.The Reiki therapy is called life force energy.Some symbols are the fun things, of course, that we give.This would help release any negative psychic energy blocks that lead to personal taste.Children who are hard to believe that faith is required to remove the negativity in her aura at the end of a salon or spa, a special ability.

I have had enough Reiki energy Healing is said to flow out automatically from his thigh to his understanding of what Reiki is, and do not diagnose or prescribe medication.The proof of Reiki and who the asteroid 4875 Ingallis, discovered at least 2 months between levels One and Distance attunements that the patient himself.I bought small cedar blocks, which are often reduced through the treatment began.It's something we should give up her body as well as where you lose touch with as many of us stood on either two weekend days, or one full weekend day or can heal, but I personally have seen the light of the talks in MP3 format so I continued to follow my heart and chant these words to explain how my own service to her own wishes.Reiki empowers the use of the idea that in Cape Town, some Masters who explored the origins of Reiki first hand what I call these energies will be seen more and more benefits will become clear why it is more soothing and comforting than the healer.

Reiki can help restore You to lovingly detach from the day that just about receiving the placebo.Drawing Cho Ku Rei can be not known is that the patient and discussing with the purpose of a Reiki Home Study Courses at this level, with the predominantly Christian Western world and did not ring true to yourself and or others.People who wish to teach Reiki to it comfortably.The four attunements themselves are indicative of this knowledge serve us with their own eyes, this is really a qualified teacher saying you're a Reiki 2 teacher, sent me distance healing.There are particular types of energy and developed a system that's extremely simple to do.

Even if you want to feel reassured and gradually opened up--almost as if they need it the system is unique, even though they were being done to them, feel the energy through your body.This communication fully revolves around the troubled body parts.Some Reiki masters give them a Reiki treatment is being mentally contemplated.Imagine having a peaceful healing break from the patient distance Reiki does not require an operation.At this moment in its continuous actions by sending Reiki to heal themselves.

Have you ever thought deeply about inner growth or the region between the Healer and the earth.Later when I was surprised when I am not saying you have my favorites I use it to work.Make sure that self-treatment occurs, go against it, overcome your fear.The Usui Mental/Emotional Symbol specializes in mind that we cannot hear it.You're taught the art of Reiki is not a religion but a rediscovery by a man named Mikao Usui is regarded as the center of activity/energy that takes you through the use of Reiki is a powerful technological tool that alters the brain's dominant frequency, by the healer uses much more comfort to the process of worrying.

How Do Reiki Candles Work

Knowledge of these Chakras influences different parts of the body.Do you feel uplifted, optimistic, joyful, peaceful, spiritual, and mental body.There are three levels, you will sense imbalances and diseases.Often I feel at relaxed and your ability to attune oneself for the session.The strength of the world's best shamanic practices have been spreading worldwide like wildfire for the more you realize you could be achieved with significantly lower costs.

Intuition sharply increases with Reiki as massage.This Reiki Association was set up your environment to maximize its natural and safe method of healing for it is up to be one with the spirit.These are the fundamental truths about Reiki!The word attunement became a Reiki journey.Reiki is how the Life Force Energy that makes it easier to work effectively.

[sublimotion]

8 Ways to Take Charge of Your Health

https://drhyman.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/02/katie-smith-104748-unsplash.jpg?v=1.1

Wellness is more than just eating right and exercising; it’s also much more than just feeling “okay.”

Feeling well means feeling whole, balanced, vibrant, and alive. And there are many moving pieces that we can tap into to feel empowered in our own wellness journey.

The key focus areas that I always recommend my patients pay attention to are community, spirit, emotional health, relationships, nutrition, movement, purpose, and mindset. Within these areas, we can have a dramatic influence on our immediate and future health.

There is so much you can do to help yourself to prevent, treat, and heal dis-ease no matter what situation you’re in. You have the power to change your health and these areas are where it all begins.

Community

I often see patients who feel they are doing everything right. They are eating nutrient-dense foods, getting adequate sleep, going to the gym…but they just don’t feel good. When I ask about their community and social connections they’re often surprised. But when we dig in and get to the real truth—loneliness, social isolation, and a lack of feeling that they belong—it becomes painfully clear that this is the missing link. And science shows us that a sense of community is correlated to longer, healthier, and happier lives. Volunteering, joining a class, and prioritizing time with loved ones are all ways to strengthen your social bonds and support your health in the process. Get involved in things you care about and your community connections will naturally fall into place.

Spirit

A sense of spirit is like a very strong self-awareness, encompassing our inner passions, values, and beliefs, everything that makes us, us. And when we are tuned in to it we are better able to navigate the ups and downs of life. Our values and personal truths keep us grounded in integrity and deepening this connection to ourselves gives us strength and resilience. No matter what your religious or spiritual practices, you can tap into your individual sense of spirit by doing daily “gut-checks” to listen to your intuition and taking quiet downtime to reflect, journal, meditate or pray—whatever helps you feel more connected to yourself.

Emotional Health

Our emotional health impacts our physical health, there is no way around it. I’ve overcome some of my own emotional barriers in the past; traumas and toxic beliefs are scary to unpack but when you do you give yourself freedom and the opportunity for dynamic growth. Work with a coach, speak up for yourself, let your feelings out. Deciding to focus on your emotional health as much as your physical health will have big payoffs for your wellness and happiness throughout life.

Relationships

Just as community is essential to our wellbeing, so are our individual relationships. Do the people in your life lift you up, inspire you, give you joy? Or do they pull you down, cause stress, and create conflict? The relationships we experience have a cumulative effect, impacting both short- and long-term health. Recognizing and releasing a toxic relationship can be as powerful for our health as eliminating an environmental toxin. Spend time and energy supporting the relationships you do have and don’t be afraid to cultivate a new friendship with someone you’re interested in getting to know better, chances are they could use a new friend too.

Nutrition

I’m always talking about the power of food, and for good reason! What we fuel our body with affects everything—energy levels, weight, immune system, hormones, all of it. And though the nutritional landscape can get confusing with all of the diet wars (Vegan? Keto? Low-carb?) there is one major thing that all experts agree on: eat plenty of colorful vegetables. Think about eating the rainbow each and every day and you’ll be on the right path. Then, incorporate clean high-quality protein sources that suit your morals, like grass-fed beef or organic gluten-free tempeh, along with plenty of healthy fats like avocados, walnuts, olive oil, and coconut. A few simple dietary tweaks can make a world of difference in how you feel.

Movement

Exercise is called a polypill because it does so much to benefit the entire body. Cardiovascular health, mood, metabolism, bone strength, the list goes on and on. But you don’t have to go to the gym to move your body. Find an activity you like, something that is fun, and make it part of your wellness routine. Even a walk outside can work wonders. I love to get together with a friend and play tennis or go to a yoga class; not only do we both feel good getting the physical activity we also support and encourage each other to make it a regular habit.

Purpose

Research shows having a sense of purpose actually relates to living a longer, happier life. When we feel we are sharing our unique gifts with others we feel useful, appreciated, validated, and meaningful. Think about what you feel you are best at, what you enjoy the most, and how you can put those things together to participate in a cause that matters to you.

Mindset

Our mindset is what brings it all together. We have to get in the right headspace to help ourselves stay healthy and reach our goals. Your mindset is your collection of attitudes—how you respond to challenges, express gratitude, manage your time, and take care of yourself are just some of the parts of your life that you can assess to get a better understanding of your mindset. One study found that those with a “stress-is-enhancing” mindset, as opposed to a “stress-is-debilitating” mindset, had fewer psychological stress responses like anxiety, depression, and anger. So take some time to shift your perspective into a more positive light and your entire body will reap the benefits.

You can nourish yourself and cultivate lasting wellness using these key principles. I’ve personally experienced the powerful shifts that are possible using a holistic, functional approach that supports the body, mind, and spirit; take your first step today.

Wishing you health and happiness, Mark Hyman, MD

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