#someone on discord talked to me about this a long time ago and i still think about it

[cat-vase]

i like sodascent as much as the next person because i think they have a really interesting dynamic! but also i think people should look at them more from the angle that bryce sees stella (his sister) in amelia.

he asks liam "is she still there?" referring to amelia, immediately lets him in once he says yes, and then we also immediately get a cut to the picture of stella and bryce on the wall. stella motivating him to get his life back together vs amelia motivating him to help everyone on the plane (despite just getting said life back together)

also they're both blue and we know cheesyhfj loves doing things with colors. in the concept art he tried making most of season one batch one green because the plane is green. it's small but it's still probably on purpose

[icewindandboringhorror]

I occasionally wish to reach out to old friends/acquaintances I haven't spoken to since high school/some other even earlier time in my life, but I have SOOO little social energy even for required tasks (like making dr phone calls or etc), I never have any leftover for extra ones, and it would be very odd to message someone I haven't spoken to in like 5 years out of the blue but then take 4 entire months to respond back lol.. My natural curiosity with nostalgia/collecting details of the past/etc. (literally if I were born a little earlier I would definitely do scrapbooking or something lol) is very strong, but, alas, not strong enough to beat out the Social Issues Demons apparently

[deepwoundsandfadedscars]

.

[loderlied]

posting on here is like my sisyphean boulder i'm constantly rolling tbh

[madlori]

On being an older fangirl

I was probably 10 years old when I first conceived of what was, looking back, fanfiction. Me and my best friend would lie in bed together on sleepovers and I'd make up stories about what happened after the end of our favorite book, "The Westing Game." She'd ask me for more stories, and I'd tell her more, inventing them as I went along. "Then what?" she'd say.

I was 14 when I went to my first convention. I had discovered Star Trek: The Next Generation. It was 1987, and my youth pastor was a huge Trekkie. He took me to a one-day crappy Creation con, but it was amazing to me. I met Nichelle Nichols. My dad showed me the Trek movies. He and I watched TNG together.

When I went to college in 1991, my dad used to videotape TNG episodes onto VHS tapes and mail them to me, so I could keep watching (I didn't have TV in my dorm room).

By the time I was a senior, we had Trek watching parties in the dorm lounge, where the TV had cable. Star Trek: Voyager had started up, and I wrote a column about it for the college newspaper. I joined a mailing list about it, with people in it that I still know today.

I got my first computer that could go online in 1995. I was on newsgroups. I discovered Doctor Who. I went to Trek conventions where we still passed around fanzines containing fic and art and smutty K/S fan creations.

Then it was Harry Potter. Then there were websites. Then there was Geocities, where we could all make our own little spots. We organized them into webrings. We talked on newsgroups and mailing lists. There were fanfic archives. Then there was fanfiction.net.

Then...there was LiveJournal. And we could interact in entirely new ways. We could form communities, and debate things, and fight over canon, and get into ship wars. On LiveJournal, I met my best friend of 22 years. I was in her wedding. She's my sister of the heart (which is what she calls me).

Then there was Tumblr. And Twitter. And now there's Discord. But it's all the same.

I am the same.

I am still that little girl who made up fanfiction in her head to entertain her best friend. I am still the one who was amazed to find communities on the internet - which was so new, so raw, so uncommodified - where others like me could meet. I found there people to meet in real life.

I am still that twentysomething going to her first major convention, being told that someone loved my fic, being asked about my writing process.

I am still that thirtysomething watching something I wrote blow up. Seeing friends from other fandoms find me in new ones, finding them there, too. Forgetting which fandom I know someone from, because I've known them for twenty years.

I still know some of the people who created those early websites, those mailing lists, those archives. I still meet people in new fandoms who say "Oh, I read your fic in [fandom] fifteen years ago!" There's no feeling quite like having someone remember something you wrote for that long. Or meeting someone whose fic meant a lot to YOU, or who you talked with on rec.arts.drwho.creative in 1997.

Aging in fandom is a gift. Being middle-aged in fandom is a joy. Having people who still read what I write and ask "Then what?" is a blessing.

It breaks my heart that so many people see it as something to be ashamed of, when it is one of my life's greatest gifts.

[gb-patch]

GB Patch Games: Sensitivity Reader Update

Okay, well I am able to make another statement before Rose does. I can now explain much more easily why I didn’t fire Rose. There’s been new developments with the leakers. The people behind this have doxed Rose’s discord account (please don’t go looking for it) and also shared a screenshot of an email that was sent to my support address months ago. They believe that incriminates us somehow, but really all it’s done is shown in broad daylight what they were doing and why I was defending Rose so much. If I had brought up that email as a connection to this myself people understandably would’ve thought I was making a conspiracy.

However, it is out now. Here is the story- a few months ago someone who wanted to remain anonymous sent me an email with a screenshot where Rose called me a cracker. And I told them I appreciated the concern but it’s alright, was there evidence of Rose being unkind to players? They had nothing. No response.

As an aside, yes, I have been aware for a long time that Rose uses crude language when talking about me. That doesn’t mean I’ve hidden how evil they were from players. It means I’m allowed to choose what I’m comfortable with. That original “reveal” didn’t shock or upset me in any way. Our Life is a sensitive, wholesome game, but I’m a full-grown adult. I’m not innocent or pure. The game I released before OL is XOXO Blood Droplets. Something I wrote and released to the public is full of crude jokes, curse words, and violence. It’s cartoonish and comical, but edgy. Rose themselves likes to BS with bad words and I’m not accepting abuse because I think getting called a pussy is funny. I know Rose doesn’t hate me or wish me any harm. Rose also isn’t causing “discourse” for me and my games on purpose, they were joking that bringing up serious topics is “discourse” to some people. Ironically, the leakers who did this are trying to make some “discourse” on purpose.

Regardless, I initially thought that email was from someone earnestly worried for me and that they moved on when it was clear I was fine. But that’s not what happened. Them and at least one other person have been waiting for months to bring this up again. They went through almost a year’s worth of Rose’s private posts to collect as many unflattering screenshots as they could, and then they didn’t send them to me. They posted them publicly. I had a suspicion from the get go that it was the same person/people from before who couldn’t prove anything to me in private. And if true, how horrible is it that a bunch of the comments they shared were crude language towards me, something they already knew I’d brush off as nothing. They decided for me that it was wrong and they wanted the rest of the players to do the same. Or even less charitably, those extra posts were simply there to make Rose look as bad and untrustworthy as possible and they didn’t care that I was comfortable with it. I could not explain everything we were thinking/feeling at first, but behind the scenes we were discussing how this was personally motivated and not a knee-jerk act without forethought. And we do know for certain at least the main people involved now, and they do have personal issues with Rose.

Also, if you still believe that they just wanted to help the game at any length because Rose is that huge of a risk, showing that email and framing something innocuous about me (not fainting at the word “cracker” and politely being open to more proof) as serious “evidence of wrongdoing” at GB Patch Games makes me believe they want to smear Rose so bad they’ll try to turn players against me as well. Plus, the post is framed as “this email was anonymously sent to me”, but we know from account details that the people who could’ve gotten those screenshots of the discord and email are the same people who sent that email and started this situation, which is embarrassing. I’ve confirmed the screenshots shared in the email to me and the original public post came from the same private, “venting-safe” discord server. There’s very few people in there. We know it’s still you and not a separate source. I can’t prove they think I’m stupid or in their way, but I can’t see how anything they’re doing is trying to be beneficial to the creation of OL: NF. They told me in the email they’d give me more evidence if I requested it and I was ready to know, but instead they went silent for months and then did this.

I want it to be clear that this doesn’t mean players can’t wonder if Rose has enough experience to be a sensitivity reader right now, or to worry they’re so invested in the game that it’s going to effect how objective they are with their feedback, or to say that Rose is flawless and has never done anything hurtful. However, I hope you can understand why I was on Rose’s side and couldn’t just fire them over this. It felt so incredibly unfair. If another person tries to get their way by doing this in the future, I will not hail them as a hero and immediately fire at the target. And I don't tolerate any racial harassment of any kind to anyone on my team.

If those people want to continue to share Rose’s private posts in retaliation, you can fuck off. If you somehow reveal now that Rose is secretly a murderer, I’m not gonna apologize and say I was so wrong about you. If you had tons of evidence of Rose being horrible to players, you should’ve sent it all to me and with full context to begin with in the email like you offered to do. I just don’t understand.

Any players who like to see someone’s least flattering points portrayed in the worst possible way and continue flocking to the leaks as fandom drama, I don’t want you in this fandom. I don’t want you to enjoy my games.

Anyone who has been truly hurt by this and are left confused and angry, I do completely understand that. I didn’t know how to handle this, and it made a lot of people not know how to keep trusting me. I am still looking into getting a community manager to help me better communicate with players, especially when something serious happens. And I’ll always be around for you to reach out to if you have doubts about anything.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

I (26, NB) dropped a long-term friend (23, not disclosing gender, I'll call them X) for being a proshipper, and now they're trying to get in the way of my other friendships.

A little more than a month ago, an old friend from when I was an itty bitty teen on the internet (we met when they were 12 and I was 15 or so) messaged me on twitter asking if we could share discord since they're more active on that platform, and they missed hanging out. Ok, no prob!! I missed talking to X and life was going kinda icky for me at the time. We exchanged discords and started talking more frequently, before we would talk through twitter dms maybe one day every few months, and we went from almost no contact to talking every single day. It was like being a teenager again; we still shared similar interests and we really fast clicked over old and new fandoms we were in. We talked about college and how they're starting to get the hang of their new job but needed support, talked about our family lives, etc., and in general I felt really comfortable and happy to be chatting again with someone I've known for so long. We were inseparable for weeks.

However... of course, as adults, and having known each other for YEARS, we started talking about fandom ships and fics we enjoyed. We didn't have the same taste in pairings, but that was okay. Until it wasn't anymore.

I shared my NSFW twitter with them, and they followed me. A few minutes later X told me, "I see you have "proship DNI in your bio, I just want to let you know that I am a pro-ship and enjoy some things in fandom that you might think is gross. I hope that's okay."

I was kind of weirded out, and told them that as long as they didn't like anything that would be criminal in real life, that's fine. They told me they *did* enjoy things in fiction that they "wouldn't condone in reality" and even though they "don't talk about it publicly" they still wanted me to know. For some reason. ?? Even though they KNOW that I have an irl history of abuse as a kid, they still told me this.

I was so fucking uncomfortable and really, really sad, and honestly I felt betrayed? I stepped away from my account for like, an hour before messaging them back and saying I didn't want to continue talking to them anymore. That I didn't know they were that kind of person and I'm not comfortable being their friend. I didn't read their response to me because I soft-blocked them.

While I was getting over that and trying to move on, a few days later I was talking to another mutual friend of ours when they asked if I was still friends with X. I got chills remembering how I broke off with them, and said no, we weren't talking anymore. That they were the kind of person that made me really uneasy and uncomfortable to be around. The mutual friend, I'll call R, said that X was "feeling kind of down about losing a friend recently" and talked about it in a discord server they share. X didn't mention my name but R wondered if it was me who dropped them since I was really touchy about boundaries online. I freaked out a little thinking about them talking about me, and asked what else they said, and R told me "not much, just that they felt sad but it was your choice in the end because you two were different" and I don't know why but it left a bad taste in my mouth. Were they trying to make people seem like I was the bad guy or something?? Idk.

I told R the reason why I stopped talking to X, and that X is a proshipper who likes things like inc*st and rape, and R wasn't as supportive as I thought he would be, saying that he understood how I felt but if X was being honest and open about their interests, it probably meant they trusted me and didn't want to "lie" to me. I don't understand how that's even relevant if X is a fucking proshipper. I don't want their trust in the first place if that's who they really are, and I felt betrayed that someone I knew for so long was hiding that for me until we were bonding again. R basically dropped it there and said "idk then" and I told him I was going to shut off my notifs for a bit. I really don't want to talk with him again right now especially since he didn't seem THAT bothered by X being a proshipper who's into really criminal shit.

Since then, friends of mine who are also friends with R (because he's a friend of X still, for some reason), haven't been replying to me as much anymore and I'm super sensitive to noticing these things, at first I told myself it was nothing, but there's an obvious decrease in our interactions. I can't help but think that X actually said bad stuff about me, and R didn't want me to know, or maybe X convinced R that I was a terrible person or something. I still haven't read X's reply to me because I genuinely do not want to interact with them ever again, but for the past few days I've been so angry and hurt by my other friend's actions that I can't help but want to blame them, since this all started when I left them.

AITA for dropping a friend because their interests made me SEVERELY uncomfortable? I don't know what to do.

What are these acronyms?

[madschiavelique]

A Crown of Ink : Chapter 12 - Six of Cups, Reversed

summary : holidays are over, and the trip to demacia starts off quite particularly. also, be prepared for two new characters to be introduced in this

content warnings : none lmfao, BOO forced proximity, BOO um speaking heart to heart? feelings are scary man

word count : 9.4k

author's note : okay after much emotional torment i'm HERE! i changed campus in the mean time and am about to get back to school soon, so i thought i could let y'all get this piece of food in the mean time since chances are i won't be able to post in a while - as always, i have no clue of whether this is good or not IM JUST A GIRL OKAY

NOT proofread for now

masterlist : here ．．discord : here ．．playlist : here

The holiday had gone well, you and Eris having taken advantage of the money Jayce had given you before the masquerade to spend afternoons shopping and exploring. You weren't particularly proud of the gesture, but if he was, according to Eris's reading, perfectly well off financially, then perhaps you could afford to be a little selfish.

You had roamed almost every street in Piltover, entering an unimaginable number of shops and hanging around to buy pastries and other delicacies.

Eris was partly stared at by her few piercings, but she didn't really care. The Pilties could call her a louse all they wanted and she wouldn't even hear them.

She had bought new notebooks which she used for her personal Tarot readings, Piltover's paper being transcendently different from Zaun's. The two of you went round bookshops, buying a variety of works, both historical and fictional, and leaving with bags full of new tomes to add to your personal libraries.

The goodbyes came too quickly for your liking, as per usual. After spending a long night talking about everything and nothing, as you always did, and sacrificing your sleep for the pleasure of longer company, you walked Eris back to the bridge.

You hugged each other tightly, promising to send each other letters as you always did, and parted again. You'd waited until she'd reached the end of the bridge before waving goodbye and turning away. 

You had returned to the emptiness of your flat, regaining the feeling that lived with you just a few months ago. No flatmate, no friends in the building, just you and your thoughts.

It was strange. The routine that had so quickly settled into your life had profoundly upset your principles, and now that you were momentarily back to them, you had no desire to be here.

Of course you appreciated your solitude, your possibility of having time just for yourself, without no one else around. But everything had undergone a metamorphosis, like a snake shedding its old skin and leaving it somewhere for someone to come back and see the slimness of its silhouette and admire its evolution.

You felt sorry for your old carcass, what was left of it was miserable and it seemed impossible to get rid of it entirely. The paint still hadn't dried on the walls of your soul and your mind, and you wondered when the day would come when you'd finally be able to hang pictures on them without staining anything.

Fortunately for you, however, Sky arrived a few days after Eris had left and gave you a hug. She had loosened up and backed away from you when she remembered that she had a cold and didn't want to give it to you.

You chatted a bit about your holiday before the last weekend of the break came and you went back to work.

Pearl finally found you again and took you in her arms, her new perfume permeating the whole room with an exquisite blend of jasmine and geraniums.

"What happened to you?" She asked, shaking her head in disbelief. "You look good!"

You smiled at her. "Did you see yourself? I don't think any customer will be able to give you their order in one go from your charm."

She grinned, giggling. "I never thought you were born without a frown," she remarked as she passed behind the counter, "you have to tell me your secret."

You hadn't really changed anything aesthetically, but you felt that something was profoundly better, like a constant relief that enveloped your shoulders.

The other morning's discussion with Viktor had given you a different perspective. You expected to see him at every street corner, to hear the distinct sound of his cane on the parquet floor of the café and for him to approach the counter to ask you for his usual mocha in a walnut-cracking accent, his lips closing his sentence to forbid any possible rebuttal.

You wondered if he would stick to the last clause, and therefore come and visit you at the café during this last weekend, unless he was finally enjoying not having to put up with your nonsense any more.

You finally imitated Pearl and joined her behind the counter.

"No secret," you said as you made sure your apron was neatly tied, "just the fresh relief of being on holiday. Oh and the exciting dread of going on a trip."

"You? Getting out of this place?" She questioned, crossing her arms over her chest.

You made sure the condiment stand was perfectly arranged. "If you have any gift ideas you'd like to get from Demacia, I will try my best to get it for you."

"Demacia?" Pearl exclaimed. "What's your visit to the White City worth?"

"A class trip, something to strengthen the ties between Piltover Academy and Demacia Academy apparently," you recited.

"I've always found Demacians pretentious and with a very black-and-white mentality with no in-betweens," Pearl remarked with a shrug, "but I envy some of their seaside scenery. Don't bother with plants or anything, theirs are temperamental and real calamities to maintain. Just like their guys."

You smiled, arching an eyebrow. "Did you have a fling with one of them?"

She sighed. "I don't really hear from him any more, it turns out he ended up in prison and I left the White City to move here instead."

You frowned. "In prison?"

"You heard perfectly," she smiled, "of course I had my rebellious side back then. But what can I say? He was handsome, intelligent, captivating..."

"Another second and I find you leaning over the counter, your cheek in your palm as you curl a lock of hair around your finger thoughtfully like a schoolgirl." You smiled, imitating the gesture as she pressed her fist against your shoulder.

"Haha," she laughed falsely, "mock me. We'll talk about it again when you too have someone your eyes are looking for in every room you go into."

Your smile faded at this simple phrase, straightening as you tried to pretend that her remark hadn't affected you. However, nothing escaped your colleague's sharp gaze.

"Did I..." her eyes crinkled as her lips stretched into a mischievous smile, "did I hit a nerve."

"There's nothing to hit," you sighed as you uselessly ran your hands over your uniform to pretend to smooth out the creases.

She gazed at you for a moment, her eyes gracefully made up with a light brown shadow surrounding you.

"Is it Jayce?"

You giggled. "What? No, plus," you leaned towards her, "sorry to break your chances but he is already taken."

"With such a face I would have been worried if it had been otherwise."

The café doors opened before Pearl could say anything more about the situation, the first customer entering and your day finally beginning.

Yet as the day wore on, you kept coming back to Pearl's words.

Why were you seeing Viktor everywhere?

You found him in the Mochas you served, the dark brown of the coffee reminding you of his hair, his smell, the faith of waking up to warmth. 

You found him in the violet of the falling night, in the pansy flowers that persisted through the winter, in the fabric of your masquerade dress that you sometimes pinched between your fingers in the morning while deciding what to wear.

You found him in the amber of the hall fire, in the candles of the street lamps that guided you home, in the sun that caressed you in the morning and bid you farewell in a show of colour in the evening.

He haunted you, even in his absence.

The remedy for this came soon enough, however, when the day of departure arrived, and your whole class gathered on the zeppelin arrival docks. An army of students bundled up in scarves, hats and mittens swarmed around as the sun barely rose, tracing the gargantuan silhouette of your means of transport.

Of all the zeppelins moored on the quays, The Young Prince was the most massive. Of a length that you couldn't even make out from where you were standing, it bore its name in capital gold letters that stood out brightly against its creamy colour. You remember hearing that it was a technological feat that drastically cut travel times. What's more, it, which was usually used to move heavier goods, would go faster given that for this journey it would only be carrying you.

"Come closer, come closer!" Heimerdinger called, having made his way onto a cubic container about your size so that the group could see him properly.

With his fur, he didn't seem to suffer from the cold, apart from his nose and ears which were a little redder than their usual pink.

"All right," he clapped his hands together when he had your attention, "first of all, hello everyone."

The class replied with meagre hellos, their voices tired. Your eyes searched Viktor and Jayce for a moment before returning to those of Heimerdinger once you'd understood you couldn't find them yet.

"We are going to go over a few details of our trip aboard The Young Prince here, so that our little group stands on the same wavelength. First of all," he raised a gloved finger in the air, "the speed of this prestigious machine will have the privilege of getting us to Demacia by tomorrow morning. The journey will therefore be one day, and one night, and that's why we're going to leave it up to you to choose your cabin partner."

You'd fully expected to find yourself sleeping during the journey, and the possibility of sharing a cabin with someone had of course percolated through your mind. When you turned to Sky, however, Orceylia had already attached herself to her arm.

Although you weren't particularly thrilled about this, you were expecting it. The fact that you lived with her and therefore already spent a lot of time with her must have been the winning argument for you to end up like this.

"Professor, can the cabins be mixed?" A classmate asked.

Heimerdinger nodded, bringing his hands behind his back. "The cabins are indeed co-ed."

Some of the classmates looked at each other with knowing glances before Heimerdinger resumed his explanation.

"I would ask you, however, to choose wisely, given that the duo you will form with your partner will remain the same during our stay." He took a small step to the side. "As part of your, how shall I put it... ah! Immersion, you will be assigned to another pair of Demacian Academy students who will be your guides during our stay."

That's all we needed, you thought. You weren't too keen on the idea of socialising, but you could see how it could potentially enrich your academic life.

"Well, I'll leave you free to go on board and choose your cabins with your fellow traveller," he chirped, "we will have plenty of time to discuss your stay and what is in store for us on the journey."

Without further ado, the students began to move forward, and you had no idea who your travelling partner would be.

It was then that a tall brunette head emerged from the crowd, accompanied by his eternal sidekick, chatting away.

Viktor had his back to you, and Jayce was talking to him, his face tucked into his collar as his gaze met yours. He smiled at you, waving and coming towards you as Viktor turned.

His eyes landed on you, and you felt a warmth spread through your chest.

"Come there," Jayce laughed as he came to hug you, having not had a chance to see you for a while.

His thick arms held you so tightly he could have broken your ribs. "Your comfort will be short-lived if you don't let me breathe," you managed to mumble.

"Oh," he stepped back, suddenly aware of his strength, "sorry."

Viktor reached your level in turn, your eyes settling on him with a small smile.

"Hey."

He smiled at you back, "Hey."

"Are you sharing your cabin with Sky?" Jayce inquired.

You shrug. "No, she's already got someone else."

"Great!" He exclaimed.

You arch an eyebrow. "Great?"

"I mean," he laughed nervously as his eyes darted between you and Viktor before he put his hand on Viktor's shoulder, "Viktor doesn't have a cabin partner! Why don't you guys just temporarily become roommates?"

"Jayce," Viktor began, "I don't think forcing this choice on Miss would be appropriate-"

"I'm sure everything will work out just fine," he smiled, turning to you, "what do you say?"

You pursed your lips, apprehensive to contradict him, but immediately closed them in consideration. It was only for one night, in a bunk bed, sleeping. Nothing more, nothing less surely.

"I thought you were as inseparable as a fingernail and a finger," you remarked as you exchanged glances with Viktor.

The latter parted his lips for a moment as he turned to Jayce. 

"It seems my dearest work partner has found a subterfuge to escape my impossibly clingy attitude," he commented with a sigh.

"Hey don't say that!" Jayce snarled at the sarcasm. "You're the one that refuses hugs, not me."

"You refused a Jayce hug?" You asked, falsely shocked.

"He obviously put aside the fact that he could break any of us like a toothpick," he sighed.

"Which is exactly the reason why I'm not sharing a cabin with you." Jayce turned to you. "I've already had a chance to visit the ship upstream, the beds are too short for me. I have to sleep on the bottom mattress so my feet don't dangle out into the void for my cabin mate."

You understood the situation. Given that Viktor wouldn't be able to climb the ladder leading to the top mattress without immense discomfort, it was preferable that he occupy the bottom place, which could prove to be a slight problem if Jayce, who was easily the size of a fridge, had to take the top bunk.

"Alright," you nodded.

Both men turned to you, Jayce asking first. "Alright?"

You shrugged, resting your eyes on Viktor's. "I don't mind sharing cabins with you."

Viktor seemed as stunned as Jayce that you'd agreed, especially as the latter seemed taken aback by the simple fact that you hadn't glared at Viktor even once since the start of this conversation.

"Are you sure?" Viktor asked anyway.

You nodded. "Yes."

"Really? Because," he shrugged, his hand readjusting on his cane, "if you don't that is profoundly understandable you know?" 

You chuckled. "Why would that be understandable?"

"I should probably point out," Jayce pointed out, "that until recently you wanted to threaten him with salt or poison his coffee."

"Glad it's something that can remain in the past then," you replied, nodding and raising your eyebrows.

Jayce seemed deeply confused, his head continually swivelling between Viktor and you. "Did I miss something?"

"No," Viktor laughed softly, lowering his head and swinging his cane slightly against the floor.

"Plus I don't think I should be in danger with Viktor in my cabin," you added.

The latter returned your gaze. "Really? What makes you think you would be so safe?"

You let a playful smile spread across your face. "What're you going to do? Pounce on me?"

"Don't be so quick to think of this possibility as evitable," he straightened, chin high as his half-closed eyes remained on yours, "we still haven't had our chance to race after all."

"Race?" Jayce repeated, seeming to sink deeper and deeper into the quicksand of confusion. "Don't tell me you guys are in another competitive state again."

"I don't know who would win," you smiled, "that would be very close..."

But the words you were hoping to form faded from your lips as a blonde head you knew all too well came into your field of vision.

Tyler, dressed in a long coat and turtleneck, advanced with a clenched jaw towards the small bridge leading to the airship. He didn't offer you a glance, but your eyes had enough time to notice a purple mark on his cheekbone.

If your eyes weren't deceiving you, it was indeed a huge haematoma spreading across his cheek. This time, however, you had no recollection of having been the reason behind it.

"What happened to him?" You asked.

Jayce and Viktor turned to him in turn, Jayce sighing.

"Since when to you care about his state?" Viktor inquired.

"I don't," you corrected, "I'm just curious."

Jayce shook his head slightly. "From what I heard from Mel," he raised his fingers, looking at you both, "and don't tell anyone you heard that from me from her, it looks like Hoskel's been trying to correct some of Tyler's behaviour."

"Wouldn't be too late." You crossed your arms as you watched the blond's silhouette enter the airship. "Which behaviours exactly?"

"I think your little presentation to Councillor Hoskel at the masquerade and the eventual link made by his idiotic brain between the first time Tyler came back with a broken nose and you are of effect."

"Hmm," you hummed, biting the inside of your cheek lightly.

You had no empathy for him, he'd disgusted you enough to last a lifetime, but it was deeply strange to see him like this. Violence, no matter where it came from, was always an alien on someone else's skin.

"I think we should get on The Young Prince before he leaves without us and all the cabins are taken," suggested Viktor, beginning his walk towards it.

You followed him, Jayce and Viktor's poor sense of direction in linear spaces clearly getting the better of them as you took the lead to guide them. Heimerdinger was there, making the roll call and ensuring that all the students were present.

Once this was done, the students dispersed, each returning to the cabins they had begun to occupy. Jayce rejoined his sleeping partner, leaving you and Viktor to look for a cabin. You finally found an empty one, and beckoned Viktor to come in.

The space wasn't large. It was a small long room with no windows, simply furnished with a bunk bed, a small wardrobe for longer journeys, and the luxury of a tap and mirror.

The toilets were apparently at the end of the corridor, and you'd probably be without showers for the whole of this short trip to save water.

You trudged along, bringing your suitcase to the side of the bed. The space was far too small, but it wasn't for comfort, it was simply to get through the night so you could get on with your task.

You turned to Viktor, who also seemed to be observing the cabin with no particular expression.

“You don't snore, do you?” You questioned, removing your scarf and placing it on your mattress.

He shrugged, his eyes still roaming the few elements in the room before regaining your gaze. “No, however you talk in your sleep.”

You recoiled in confusion, as Sky had never mentioned this detail before. “I what?”

He stepped forward, passing in front of you. “When you had your fever,” he sat down on the bottom mattress with a heavy sigh, “you kept mumbling things in your sleep.”

You chuckled, crossing your arms over your chest. “I was delirious, that doesn't make it a recurring occurrence.”

“Does it now?” You recognized his playful tone of condescension elegantly disguised as levity.

You tilted your head down slightly, chewing your cheek to prevent a smile from spreading too far across your lips. “Careful, Moravec,” you emphasized, ”Tyler might not have received his purple stain from me but that doesn't mean your favourite colour needs to lay on your face as well.”

He came to rest his chin on his cane, pensive for a moment without finding your gaze. “You had no difficulty wearing it to the masquerade, though,” he remarked, regaining your eyes.

Your cheeks warmed slightly and you decided to shed your coat and hang it on one of the corners of the bed. “What's this got to do with anything?”

“It has to do with everything,” he confirmed.

“I didn't know purple had such power,” you breathed.

“It's not the things themselves that have power, it's we who give them power.”

“What a transcendent and revolutionary philosophy, it's well worth a few lyrical songs and a quotation in yet another modern collection of two-bit poetry.”

He smiles, playful. “I'd mention your name in the credit of that work, which is sure to make me excessively rich with young ladies.”

You chuckled, the vision of middle-school girls scrambling to get hold of the book and crying that very evening over pithily simple and mediocre quotes. “I hope the cover is purple then.”

He nodded, smiling. You couldn't help but feel relief, a pleasant reunion that reassured you and filled you with joy. Your useless little quarrels and verbal jousts had changed little, and you found more enthusiasm in them than you would have thought.

You had wondered whether time and distance would change you, make you... awkward around each other. But it didn't, and the familiarity of this strange complicity covered your heart with warmth.

The vehicle began to shake, the take-off had begun. You turned to him.

“Wanna race to the windows?” 

He laughed softly in a hum. “I think I'll pass on this one,” he sighed before lying back on his mattress, ”short night calls for a short nap.”

You nodded. “See you at lunch then?”

“See you at lunch, Miss.”

You smiled, strangely missing the appellation on his lips, even if the origin of the nickname seemed dubious. You'd long thought it was just another nickname, a polite etiquette. He did call Sky that after all, and so did she. But there was something, a secret truth, a whisper ready to burst near your ear and your heart that would explain everything.

You left the cabin, joining the other students in what appeared to be a large common space. 

Despite its industrial appearance and more-than-welcoming, useful nature, the Young Prince's overall space was not unpleasant. On the sides of the room, large bay windows gave you an unobstructed view of the sunrise, which covered all the clouds in a layer of cottony orange.

A few sofas and armchairs were arranged and had no doubt been moved by the students for better immersion. Card games were already out on one side, while a small group of students surrounded Heimerdinger, listening to his rantings.

Sky beckoned you to join her on the sofa for a game of cards, and you smiled as you reached her.

The day had gone by faster than you'd expected. After many games of cards, it was time for lunch, which had been prepared for you by the crew. Viktor finally joined you at this point, an unearthed man's head accompanying him in an equally energetic gait.

Jayce came over to him, putting his hand on his shoulder and urging him over to one of the windows leading outside, Viktor seeming to tense up instantly. Perhaps he was afraid of heights? Or airsick?

The departure had been an assembly of sensations to take in, the floor vibrated slightly, and the ventilation left a continuous muffled sound in the air, like that of an air leak or an old refrigerator. But you'd forgotten both by force of habit.

The rest of the day was taken up with a lecture by Professor Heimerdinger on the various regions you were flying over and their histories, interspersed here and there with anecdotes from his own travels that allowed you to lift your quills from your papers for a moment.

It was already getting dark outside when his class was over, and a little historical lesson this time about the Young Prince was presented to you, which you could only partially listen to.

The truth is, you were feeling very distracted. Your eyes and thoughts kept returning to Viktor, as if they were drawn to him like magnets and you couldn't shake the feeling.

Was it just some kind of compensation? Like a way of lightening the invisible balance of not having seen or crossed paths with him for a long time?

But a week wasn't such a long time, was it? It was only a handful of days, just a little while during which you hadn't seen him, heard him or exchanged with him.

All in all, now that you thought about it, it had seemed like an eternity.

You pushed the thought from your mind, trying to divert your gaze to the nighttime outside, and take your mind off things by playing a few more games of cards until dinnertime came and went, and bedtime took its place.

And that inevitably you'd find yourself with him to endure in the same room for an entire night.

When you returned to your room, Viktor was already there. He had propped his cane against the bed's ladder while his long fingers worked on the buttons of his uniform jacket.

Your eyes lingered for a moment on their movement, their meticulous, habitual pinching, pushing dark, shiny disks out of their housings as he shed his jacket and moved on to his shirt. Your cheeks heated for a moment, straining to look away and reach for your suitcase to open it and grab your toiletry bag.

You felt his gaze on you, kneeling on the floor as you grabbed your toothbrush and toothpaste to face the sink. In the reflection, you saw the pale, mole-strewn skin of Viktor's torso.

He wasn't as thin as you'd thought. He didn't necessarily have bulging muscles the size of tree trunks like Jayce, but he wasn't devoid of muscle. He was lean.

When he offered you his back in sight as he sat down to open his suitcase and grab his pajamas for the night, you noticed a small metallic sliver stretching across his back like bolts along an arch. 

You'd heard of this kind of procedure, a spinal fusion, an operation aimed at straightening the spine and preventing it from drifting into deformity.

You could imagine that Viktor's posture wasn't intact, that his leaning on his cane must have greatly impacted the tension in his muscles due to the lack of support.

“I can feel you staring at me,” he remarked as he slipped on his top, ”You aren't being subtle, you know.”

Your cheeks heated with embarrassment as you lowered your eyes and deposited a line of toothpaste on the straight bristles of your toothbrush.

“Sorry,” was all you managed to say as you stuffed the brush into your mouth, tucking your free hand under your elbow as you began to brush.

But your eyes inevitably fell back on the back of his head, on his hair, slightly messy after his nap. What would it be like the next morning when you woke up?

“Are you trying to piece a hole in my skull?”

You smiled slightly, removing your toothbrush from your mouth to articulate despite the foam. “Is it working?”

You couldn't see his face, but from where you were you could see his cheekbones rise. “I guess the only way to find out is for you to continue doing so, which would bring me ultimately to ask - why are you staring at me?”

You let your toothbrush hang in the air for a moment, the freshness of your toothpaste invading your mouth and almost anesthetizing it. 

“Just wondering,” you finally say, before bringing it back into your mouth and simply speeding your brushing.

He then stood up, pants in hand. “Wondering about what?”

You stopped brushing again, sighing as your gaze met Viktor's in the mirror, taking your toothbrush out of your mouth once more.

“Wondering when you're going to ask me to close my eyes,” you replied, your eyes landing on his pants as you resumed brushing.

He smiled, slightly surprised all the same. Surely he was expecting to have to go to the toilet at the end of the corridor and bother trying to change in a very small and uncomfortable space.

“That would be now,” he affirmed.

You nodded, spitting into the sink before turning to the nearest corner of the room and lowering your head.

“Tell me when you're done,” you noted simply before resuming your toothbrushing.

He said nothing, the silence simply inhabited by your brushing in the room taking over before you heard the distinguishable thud of a cloth settling on a blanket. You heard the distinct sound of a metal belt buckle being clutched, and of fabric flowing down thighs to end in a heap of folds. You could hear him grabbing his other pair of pants, of a fabric already lighter than the academy pants, and slipping them on.

“Done,” he announced simply.

You returned to the sink as if nothing had happened, trying as best you could to avoid his gaze, but feeling it on you you couldn't help but meet his eyes again.

It was, of course, the first time you'd seen Viktor in his pyjamas. A simple loose-fitting t-shirt and loose-fitting brown plaid pants. You'd never seen him in such relaxed clothes, but the snag was that one of your own pyjamas you'd brought along was almost identical.

“Did you go through my stuff?” You asked as you finished cleaning your teeth and rinsed your mouth one last time.

“What?” He asked, confused by this remark.

You sighed, looking at his outfit for a moment. “Turn around, I'm gonna change.”

He nodded, asking no more questions and turning around, imitating you and lowering his head. You couldn't help noticing that he had a more defined back than you'd expected, under his black T-shirt.

You grabbed your pajamas, shedding your uniform in turn.

“Why would I go through your stuff?” He asked, still motionless as you finally took off your shirt and felt the air in the room stick against your skin.

You slipped the top on quickly, switching to your belt buckle. “You will understand soon.”

Your pants fell into a heap of folds on the floor, which you pushed with the tip of your foot before slipping your pants on your legs one by one and tightening the drawstring so that they wouldn't fall.

You watched him for a moment, his back to you. He seemed so far from the academic you knew, and a warmth settled for a moment in your belly just at the thought of how being friends with him outside of the frame of the Academy settled warmly near your heart.

“You can look now,” you finally said, surprisingly nervous.

He turned, and raised his eyebrows. His eyes returned to yours for a moment, as if for confirmation that this wasn't some kind of joke, before continuing their observation.

He seemed to part his lips for a moment, as if to say something, but nothing came as he closed them again. His eyes watched his own outfit, surprised.

“How could it be the same color as well...” he said, almost absently.

“Did you go through my stuff?” You asked again.

His eyes returned to you. “Do I look like the kind of guy that would go through your stuff?”

You sighed. “No,” you admitted.

He couldn't help but laugh softly for a moment, however, before turning away from you and sitting down on his bed.

“What?” You asked, confused by his laughter.

He chuckled softly before reaching into his satchel and pulling out a book for the night.

“It seems that whatever happens fate always finds a way to bring us back on the same level,” he smiled, exchanging a glance with you before pulling open the tucked-in blanket and slipping under it.

You weren't in the mood to sleep yet, or to stop talking to him, strangely enough.

You came to cross your arms, hooking your leg in front of the other as you pressed your shoulder against the ladder of your bunk bed.

He was watching you, waiting for what you were going to say. You held his gaze for a moment before lowering it, biting the inside of your cheek as the floor seemed a much better conversation companion.

“You didn't come to the café at all,” you confessed.

He was half-sitting up in bed, leaning on one elbow as he watched you. He seemed surprised, as if some deeply sad news had just been delivered.

“We had to unpack a bit too many boxes,” he explained.

You shrugged, tentatively regaining his eyes. “I could have helped.”

“You were with your friend,” he emphasized with a gentle smile, ”it would have been rude to disturb her stay by depriving her of your presence.”

You rolled your eyes, remembering the number of elbows Eris kept nudging you with as she urged you to go and find them eventually. “I doubt my presence would have made that much difference.”

“Believe me, it would have,” Viktor admitted.

You straightened up. “What do you mean?”

“I don't think you've ever tasted Jayce's coffee, and I hope you never experience it, or rather, the torture of it.” He grabbed his book, settling back against his pillow as he gained his page. “Jayce was so fed up with my wincing that he finally suggested the idea of hiring you as our personal barista.”

“Really?” You chuckled lightly as you imagined Jayce's face breaking down as each attempt he made at his coffees was perpetually punctuated by a frown from his sidekick. “How's it paid.”

“We give you a little paper for each day and we add these gold star stickers on for all your good coffees until you get unlimited access to Heimerdinger's lab.”

Your eyebrows jumped to the ceiling. “You guys have access to his lab?”

Viktor abandoned his reading to regain your gaze. “His previous assistant, remember?

The discussion you'd had with him a few weeks ago before the exams came back to mind, your fingers tingling under the memory of his wrist in your hand.

“Ah,” you remarked, ”right.”

A short moment passed during which neither of you said anything. You remembered that discussion so well, how could you forget it when it had been so profoundly decisive?

You were about to climb the ladder to your bed before he broke the silence.

“Why were you so adamant about being first all the time?”

You paused in your movements, your hands resting on the ladder's handrails as the question stirred a bitter feeling in your stomach. 

“Was it just pure perfectionism? Or... something else?”

You regained his gaze, inhaling harshly. “Something else,” you confirmed.

“Which was?” He asked.

Sure, you were friends with Viktor, but were you really ready to open up to him on this subject?

“I can't tell you yet,” you sighed, pressing your lips into a thin line, ”but... I guess once you hit the ground really hard you never really want to jump from that cliff again.”

Her eyes tried to pierce you, to detect beneath the innuendo and your enigmatic answers the truth so shy and distant.

“Hmm,” he hummed before lowering his eyes to his book.

Part of you wanted to talk to him about it, for him to understand the genesis of your intentions, but you didn't feel up to facing this yet. It was too soon.

When you finally climbed into bed and picked up your own book for the evening, you couldn't help thinking about the card you'd drawn that very morning.

The six of cups had seemed so sweet to you, with its little illustration of cups full of flowers. The description of it, however, came less close to softness as the card came out upside down - reversed.

Gifts from the heart. A walk down memory lane. Kindness. Sharing. Protection.

Two children share a cup in a walled town. Flowers grow from the cups, implying growth and manifestation in the real world. The silhouette of an adult man, perhaps a soldier, moves away, suggesting that this is a space of youth. Old situations disappear. The exchange of cups between children reflects the gift of the heart.

Only this description didn't seem to be enough for you, and you searched through your belongings for one of the Tarot explanation books Selene had passed you.

The Six of Cups Reversed appears as a reminder to break free from nostalgic sentiments that may be holding us back. In its reversed position, this card signals unresolved issues from the past that we must confront and release in order to move forward. It urges us to let go of old patterns, memories, and attachments that no longer serve our growth. Instead of living in the past, we are encouraged to embrace the present moment and look towards the future with a sense of renewed optimism. 

But you couldn't unravel the threads of the past, couldn't untangle them and free yourself from their oppressive embrace. You sincerely hoped, however, that one day you'd be able to break free, to extricate yourself from this spider's web whose mistress was no more.

You turned off the lamp right next to you on the wall, unable to swallow a single line of text in your book.

“Sleeping already, Miss?” you heard just below you.

You sighed. “No, I'm too busy having a conversation with the ceiling right now.”

“Really?” You could hear the smile on his lips. “What is it saying?”

“I don't know, I don't speak ceiling,” you smiled stupidly in turn, ”I just listen to him and nod not to hurt his feelings.”

“How thoughtful of you.” He turned a page in his own book.

“What can I say, I wear my heart on my sleeve.”

He chuckled. “That you do.”

You leaned to the side, protruding from your bunk bed to look at him playfully.

“Was that sarcasm or a generic statement?”

He didn't even turn from the lines of the book to observe you. “A bit of both.”

“How is that a bit of both?”

He sighed, lowering his book to look at you this time. “You're willing to give me free coffee and use your meager vacation time to come and help us move boxes out of our apartment, but if I remember correctly not long ago you flatly refused to pass me a single candle."

You rolled your eyes. “That's because you were forcing on with the magic words.”

“Politeness is no mean feat,” he pointed out before taking up his book again, ”obviously with you anyway.”

“Please and Thank Yous are not meagre things to throw in the air,” you sighed, ”they're words, they have weight on all things. I can't use them haphazardly with the wrong people.”

“Of that I am aware, Miss.”

The underlining of your nickname made your skin itch like nettles.

“When are you going to tell me why you call me that?” you questioned, shaking your head.

“I don't call you just that, i call you Miss,” he corrected.

“Fine,” your eyes rolled into their sockets, “when are you going to tell me why you call me Miss?”

“Once I will know why you were so adamant on being first.”

It was a war of stubbornness, two obstinate relentless people who wouldn't give in for anything in the world. You chuckled, letting yourself fall back into bed with a heavy sigh.

“Have a good night, Miss."

You stirred under your blanket. “Have a night, Moravec.”

There was a moment of silence before you felt a thump under your mattress, hitting right in your back.

“Hey!” You huffed indignantly as you leaned to the side again to stare at him.

He had his cane in hand, depositing it back on the floor as if nothing had happened.

“Are you trying to destroy our pseudo-friendship?” you articulated.

His brows furrowed before his eyes met yours again. “Pseudo? Since when did we demote to the term pseudo?”

You bit the inside of your cheek. This had never been the case, but the fact that he had a reaction when it came to this detail softened you slightly.

“Fine,” you nodded in agreement, ”we haven't demoted.”

But he wasn't about to let this one go, leaning over the side of his bed so he didn't have to tilt his head to talk to you every time. “What would confirm our friendship in your eyes?”

The question left you speechless. What did you want from this friendship? Was it attention? Time? Complicity?

Seeing you dwell on the subject, he squinted. “New clause to the the friendship clause list, we shall always be honest to each other, no matter how much it hurts.”

“I wasn't about to lie,” you corrected.

“Alright then tell me,” Viktor demanded.

“I...” you began, but what did you really want?

Never before had you had a friendship like this one, having had such a different and complex arrival in your life as Viktor, and you found yourself bereft of reference points.

“I don't want our friendship to be rushed,” you admitted, "I know I'm not the easiest to be around, nor the nicest, but," a small piece of skin rising from around one of your fingernails had your full attention as you tried to get rid of it, ”I really want to be your friend. I think I...” you sighed before regaining his gaze, ”I admire you, Viktor. Truly. And I know it's going to take me a while before I can consider myself as your equal and accept that someone like me can be the friend of someone like you.”

His lips parted, his eyes blinking a few times. Maybe you'd said something stupid after all.

Your cheeks warmed, and you looked away, ready to lie down. “Forget it.”

“I admire you too.”

You froze in your tracks, your eyes finding his again. They were soft, sincere.

“What?” The word came out of your mouth, feeling as if you'd heard it wrong and simply couldn't take in the information.

His chest swelled with a deep breath. “You,” he began, his eyes resting on the cover of his book, his index finger tracing the ridges of its leather binding, “you are always so determined, so invested in every matter whether big or small. It felt like you were...” his eyes returned to yours, rising to your height, ”unreachable.”

Your heart felt soft, his revelations taking it between warm palms that caressed and coddled it, whispering sweet words you'd never heard and had to discover with gentleness and not stupor.

“The reason why I kept coming to you and try to speak with you was not out of spite of the consequence of my academic results on you, but because...” His eyes were soft in yours, his lips parted. “Who wouldn't want to have you as a friend?”

You felt a strange sensation around the back of your neck, trying to swallow the emotion that was about to twist your throat like a can.

You breathed in, smiling slightly and lowering your voice, hoping that your throat wouldn't hatch something that would brutally shatter this moment. “I'm not that great of a friend.”

He shrugged, “I mean,” his eyes returned to you with the crease of a smile, “you literally beat Tyler's ass after what he did in the hallway.”

You rolled your eyes. “That's because he deserved it.”

“And yet you were the only person who stepped in,” he emphasized, ”twice.”

You bit the inside of your cheek, reconsidering those moments.

“I don't see a single reason for me not to be your friend,” Viktor resumed.

You rested your cheek on the back of your hand. “I spoke to you horribly.”

“So did I,” he remarked.

“I treated you terribly.

“You were frustrated, anyone would react that way.”

“I threatened you,” you smiled.

“With spitting in my coffee and throwing salt at me. Pretty weak threats if you ask me,” he remarked, one eye crinkling as his lips formed an inverted smile.

You arched an eyebrow. “Challenging me to make better ones?”

He smirked, a flash of mischief crossing his eyes. “Do your worst.”

You smiled softly, a light laugh ricocheting in your throat without ever exceeding the limit of your lips. He sighed, his shoulders relaxing.

“I'm proud to be your friend,” he assured.

Your belly flooded with a warm sensation. A thin smile spread across your lips.

“I'm proud to be your friend too,” you confirmed.

You remained silent for a moment, seeming to soak up this truth, these mutually shared words and the clarifications they had brought to your doubts.

“Prouder than a Demacian?” He questioned maliciously.

You smiled with a sigh. “Let's not get patriotic already, we'll have the entire duration of this trip to taste the regret of coming here.”

“Fine,” Viktor admitted, dropping his book on the floor next to his cane, ”let's sleep to face our incoming enemies.”

You nodded, lying back in bed as Viktor turned off his light.

The room, now bathed in darkness, apart from its orange neon sign indicating where the door was, felt silent. You placed your hands on your belly, its warmth soft and new.

“Goodnight, Viktor,” you murmured.

“Goodnight, Miss,” you heard, a smile spreading his lips.

When the ship's general alarm sounded in the room, you woke up with a jolt. It wasn't a pleasant alarm to wake up to, and you hoped it wouldn't be repeated in the next few minutes.

You struggled out of your blanket, wearily climbing down the bed ladder and fumbling towards the sink mirror to admire the undoubtedly pathetic state in which the night had left you.

As you turned on the light, you heard a grunt. You turned towards the bed, Viktor stirring in his bed and folding his pillow over his head. You suppressed a laugh, grabbing your toothbrush to get rid of your morning breath and rearrange your appearance.

By the time you'd finished rinsing your mouth, Viktor was still asleep. You approached him.

“Hey, time to wake up,” you whispered.

He grumbled, lifting his pillow to see who had the audacity to speak to him. Realizing it was you, he promptly folded back his pillow with a sigh, drifting back to sleep. You smiled, imagining the mornings he and Jayce must have spent when Jayce had to drag Viktor out of bed.

“Want me to get you some coffee?” You suggested.

He stirred slightly, huffing. “Only if you make it.”

His voice was low, husky and hoarse with fatigue. You rolled your eyes. “On it.”

You turned off the mirror light, taking advantage of the room's darkness and the meager neon light to change out of his sight. Once this was done, you quietly left the room. 

The corridor was deserted, the other students surely taking their time to wake up. You walked up to the general area, which was practically empty apart from the few members of staff. You approached the counter, asking very politely if you could use their coffee equipment, attesting that you worked in a café and wouldn't damage their material.

They gave you free rein, confirming however that they didn't really have any quality ingredients, just the basics needed for a trip. Still, you managed to find enough to make a mocha, and your usual coffee to wake you up.

The preparation took no time at all, accompanied by the sun waking up over the clouds outside. The world was slowly awakening, and the more or less upright students were already gathering in the common room as you headed back to your cabin, two coffees in hand.

On entering the room, Viktor had at least made the effort to sit up straight, his eyes staring into space and his hair wild. This time, the laughter was harder to suppress and you couldn't help but chuckle.

His eyes left their fictitious points to settle on you, squinting as he frowned.

“Are you mocking me?” He asked.

“I'm not,” you confirmed, stepping towards him, handing him his coffee.

“Why did you laugh then?” He asked, reaching for his cup.

You brought your own coffee to your lips, blowing on it with a smile. “Because of the state of your hair.”

He patted his hair with his free hand, feeling the cowlicks he was going to have to battle with his comb. He sighed at the prospect, bringing the coffee to his lips to take a sip.

He sighed at ease, humming a breath of relief.

“I forgive you,” he articulated.

“Jayce's coffee was that bad?” You sneered.

“No, but your coffee is too good,” he explained, ”my standards will never be the same again.”

There was a knock at the door, and you went to open it. Jayce stood behind it.

“Good morning,” he smiled, looking impeccable as always, ”how was your n- is that coffee?”

His eyes landed on your paper cup.

“Cheers,” Viktor added, raising his coffee cup in the air somewhere behind you. 

Jayce's eyes landed on the latter, seeming outraged. “Where did you get those?”

“I made them,” you confirmed, taking a sip.

“Can I get one?” he asked.

“As if you needed to ask,” you smiled.

“Thank you,” he sighed with great relief, ”but first I'm on a mission to get this one out of bed.” He pointed at Viktor, who finally grabbed his cane to straighten up.

“No need,” the latter confirmed as he walked towards you both, ”the power of a great coffee has done enough to make me rise without a problem.”

You let Viktor change while you waited for him outside the cabin.

“So, how was the night?” Questionned Jayce.

“Slept fine, although I have to say the mattresses are really thin,” you replied, taking another sip of your coffee.

“I wasn't enquiring about the quality of your sleep, I was wondering if you and Viktor had a duel to death before sleep,” he corrected.

You shrugged. “Well both of us are still alive, so that must be a positive thing don't you think?”

“I guess,” he said, raising his eyebrows, ”you both seem to be doing oddly good.”

“I thought you'd be happy about that,” you remarked.

“I am, believe me,” Jayce corrected immediately, ”I guess I'm just... surprised that this is going so well all of a sudden.”

“Yeah,” you smiled, your eyes finding a point in the void as you thought back to your conversation last night, ”that's understandable.”

“Yeah,” he sighed, his eyes suddenly narrowing in confusion as his lips pouted, “what's this race thing by the way?”

Viktor came out at the same moment. “It's nothing for you to worry about,” he replied instead.

So you returned to the common room for the last bits of information you needed to know about the trip, Heimerdinger displaying his usual energy while half the class was still trying to extricate itself from the arms of sleep.

Your eyes drifted outside, the landscape having changed drastically. Valleys of white stone overlaid with green, while the clear blue water seemed to form a sea of sapphires.

You were sent back to your rooms to stow your suitcases as The Young Prince prepared to land.

“Think the duo we'll get assigned to will be good?” you asked as you and Viktor exited your cabin.

“They could never be better than us,” he asserted, to which you couldn't help but smile.

And so, at last, the small world of the entire class was reunited to exit the Young Prince, its airlock opening onto the small gangway leading you to the dock.

The air was fresh with the scent of flowers and sunshine brought to you by the wind from the sea.

Outside, a group of students were waiting for you, accompanied by what must have been the Academy's headmistress, whom Heimerdinger immediately came to greet. She was a tall, slender woman with long, straight features, her dress strict and asymmetrically impeccable. Her long chestnut braid hung to one side as she shook Heimerdinger's hand, her grey eyes crinkling as her thin lips smiled at him.

Her eyes overhung by fine eyebrows that were the least severe aspect of her face turned to your group once it was fully assembled.

“Welcome, dear students, to Demacia.” She had a flattened accent, her T's straighter against her teeth and her more pronounced R's scraping toward the back of her throat. “I am Diane Lolanthe, the principal of Demacia University.” 

With an elegant wave of her arm, she pointed to the group of students in their white, blue and silver uniforms, in contrast to your own warm-toned ones dotted with gold.

“The students of Demacia are delighted to welcome you among them,” she smiled, her hands joining together, ”I hope their behaviour will match that of those at the prestigious Piltover Academy.”

“Prestigious,” Heimerdinger repeated with a chirp, ”the reputation of our establishment envies many of the attractions of the University of Demacia.”

Your eyes roamed over the group of Demacia students. Many looked almost military in their posture, and you expected nothing less from them. Their reputation was, after all, massively based on their defensive side.

They seemed to be watching you all, some leaning over to whisper in others' ears. Were they making fun of you? Did they already have stupid remarks to share with each other?

Madame Diane and Heimerdinger chatted for a moment, taking out papers and exchanging ideas for a few minutes before straightening up and placing themselves between the two groups.

“Right then,” Diane resumed, bringing a document in front of her, “I have here the list of groups formed for the Demacia pairs.”

“And right here the list of groups formed for the Piltover pairs,” informed Heimerdinger.

“One by one, we'll call the pairs who will be joining each other on the side. Please get ready.”

From both sides, the pairs joined, Viktor and you remaining next to each other as you crossed your arms.

The roll call then began, the Piltover students coming forward first as Heimerdinger whispered information to Diane, no doubt giving the students' profiles to guide her an idea on who might be associable with whom.

As the list dwindled, so came your turn. 

“Moravec and Phathe.”

Viktor and you approached, Heimerdinger sketching a smile and exchanging whispers with Diane, who raised an eyebrow, glancing at the remaining students, and sketching a chuckle.

“Laurent and Crownguard,” she called. 

Demacia's students began to murmur among themselves, some of the quartets already formed being informed by their acolytes. You frowned, your eyes darting to the duo approaching you.

A young lady and a guy about your age came up. The girl had an athletic figure, her gait confident, while her hair, styled in a severe bob with red streaks, framed her breathtakingly beautiful face. The man accompanying her was tall, probably reaching Jayce's height with an imposing, muscular stature, his hair short and brown, his eyes lowered on your duo with curiosity.

“Nice to meet you,” you began, hoping eventually to socialize for once in your life.

The young lady looked you up and down, arching a judgmental eyebrow before moving on to Viktor. She wore her smile like a loaded pistol.

“I take the prince,” she pronounced in an accent similar to Diane's, ”you take the rag.”

You frowned as she walked over to Viktor and picked up his suitcase to free his arm that wasn't holding his cane and wrap her hand around his bicep.

“Shall we?”

Viktor seemed simply at a loss for words as the lady began to pull him towards the rest of the group.

You watched them advance, chuckling as you felt as if you'd been punched in the stomach.

“Excuse her,” sighed the young man who'd stayed by your side, ”she's never had many people put her back in her place in her years of life.”

“No kidding,” you breathed as you both began to move forward to follow them.

“Let me take your luggage,” he offered.

You smiled politely. “Don't worry, if I can't pull my luggage anymore, that makes me a lousy rag.”

“A rag capable of such strength is quite a feat in these cases,” he smiled.

You smiled back, at least one of them was civilized enough to carry on a conversation.

“I'm Garen, by the way,” he introduced himself, offering you his hand, which you came to shake, callused and rough. “And the spoiled brat that just blatantly insulted you is Fiora.”

“Nice to meet you,” you asserted before introducing yourself in turn. 

Once you'd arrived with the rest of the group, you reached Fiora and Viktor. The girl gave you a sharp look, and you returned it, the other students around you observing the scene.

This was going to be a special stay.

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[fictionally-driven]

Uncovering Scars

Pairing: Jiyan x gn! reader Word count: 1130 Trigger Warnings: Injuries, Scars, implied relationship. Plot: This ask.

The infirmary was abuzz with activity, medics rushing between beds, attending to the wounded. Jiyan's heart pounded as he pushed through the chaos, his eyes scanning the room for a familiar face. He had received word that (Y/N)'s patrol had been ambushed by Tacet Discords, and the anxiety gnawing at his insides refused to abate until he saw them for himself.

Finally, he spotted them, sitting on the edge of a bed. Relief washed over him as he hurried to their side, his usually stoic demeanor cracking to reveal the worry he felt. "(Y/N)," he breathed. "Are you alright?"

“Jiyan!” (Y/N) looked up, their eyes meeting his with a reassuring smile. "I'm alright. Just a few cuts and abrasions, nothing serious."

Jiyan's keen eyes quickly assessed their state. They were indeed a bit battered, their hair disheveled and streaked with dust and grime. Small wounds and cuts marked their skin, and their armor and uniform were torn in places, evidence of the fierce battle they had faced. They were right; the injuries seemed superficial. Still, the sight of their usually composed form in such a disheveled state tugged at his heart.

"You had me worried," he said, his voice a low rumble. "When I heard about the ambush..."

(Y/N) reached out, placing their hand on his arm. "I'm okay. We fought them off and I am alright. I can patch myself up too. But the medics insisted that they examine me once.”

Jiyan's eyes softened at their touch, the tension in his shoulders easing slightly. He placed his hand over theirs, his grip gentle yet firm. "I'm glad you're safe," he murmured, his gaze lingering on their face for a moment longer.

(Y/N) smiled, squeezing his arm reassuringly. "I promise, I'm alright. A bit sore, but nothing I can't handle."

Jiyan placed his hand over theirs, his touch gentle but firm. "Let them do their job," he said softly. "It's important to be thorough."

(Y/N) nodded, a small smile playing on their lips. "You always were a stickler for protocol," they teased, trying to lighten the mood.

Jiyan's eyes softened, a faint smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. "Someone has to be."

Jiyan's eyes roved over their injuries once more, his worry not entirely abated. His attention was drawn to their shoulder, where a significant portion of the sleeve had been ripped away, exposing a deep, jagged scar that stood out against their skin. His breath caught for a moment as he took in the sight, a multitude of questions flooding his mind. It was a mark that seemed to go beyond the exposed flesh, hinting at a story untold.

(Y/N) noticed his gaze and instinctively moved to cover the scar, their eyes flickering with discomfort and vulnerability. "It's nothing," they murmured, their voice softer, almost defensive. "Just an old wound."

Jiyan gently took their hand, stopping them from hiding the scar. "You don't have to hide it from me," he said quietly, his tone filled with understanding. "Every scar has a story, and every story is a part of who we are."

(Y/N) looked at him, their eyes searching his face for a moment before they sighed, letting their hand drop. "It's from a long time ago," they admitted. "Before I joined the Midnight Rangers. It’s not something I talk about much."

Jiyan nodded, his grip on their hand tightening just slightly in a show of silent support. "You don't have to tell me if you're not ready. Just know that I'm here, and you don't have to hide anything from me."

(Y/N) laughed softly, a tinge of self-consciousness lingering in their eyes as they attempted to dismiss the scar's significance. "It's quite ugly to look at, isn't it?" Their hand moved instinctively to cover the scar, a gesture of vulnerability Jiyan couldn't ignore. Sensing their need for security, he allowed them the comfort of concealment, his own heart aching at their discomfort.

"No," Jiyan countered gently, his voice a soothing murmur. "It's not ugly. I was just taken aback because I didn't know you'd been injured to that extent before. It must have been painful."

Drawing closer, Jiyan enveloped them in his embrace, he felt their arms encircling his waist. He could sense the tension in their body begin to ease, their form melting into his as they sought solace in his presence. It was a tender moment, one where words were unnecessary, their shared connection speaking volumes.

The infirmary noise seemed to fade into the background as they stood there, taking solace in each other's presence. (Y/N) took a few deep breaths, their head resting gently against his abdomen. The steady rhythm of Jiyan's heartbeat was a soothing reminder of his unwavering presence. "Does the scar change the way you see me?" they asked quietly, their voice tinged with uncertainty.

Jiyan's touch was gentle as he lowered himself slightly, his hand coming to rest on their shoulder. "Yes and no," he responded, his voice a comforting whisper. "I love you no matter what, and that's never going to change. The scar only deepens my respect for you because it's a mark of your strength and resilience. You have fought battles that I am unaware of in your past and you have prevailed, (Y/N). But you don't have to face your battles alone anymore. I'm here for you, always ready to listen... about anything at all, really. I am here to listen and support you by any means possible."

Looking up at him, (Y/N)'s eyes sparkled with a newfound warmth. "Even if I go on and on about fictional men that I'm obsessed with?" they teased, their smile returning in full force.

Jiyan's rare smile bloomed in response, his heart swelling with affection. Bending down further, he pressed a tender kiss against the scar, his lips brushing against their skin with the softest of touches. "Even then," he murmured against their shoulder, his breath warm against their skin. "Though I might wonder every now and then on how I can surpass these fictional men."

Their laughter filled the air, a sweet melody that danced between them, dispelling the remnants of tension and uncertainty. Resting their head against his chest, (Y/N) wrapped their arms more tightly around him, pressing closer. "You're more than enough, Jiyan."

Jiyan's heart swelled at their words. In this moment, the weight of his responsibilities and the burdens he carried felt lighter. He rested his chin atop their head, closing his eyes and savoring the peace that their embrace brought him. The world outside the infirmary walls seemed distant and unimportant compared to this moment that they shared. In each other's presence, they found a quiet strength, a reassurance that no matter what storms lay ahead, they would face them together, scars and all.

WuWa Masterlist

[hustlemeanokay]

I've read a few things on here so far and I can honestly say that some people totally missed the mark on the whole Mythal & Solas thing.

And since this apparently turned into a Solas v. Mythal v. Lavellan v. Spirits in general ted talk... it's below the cut for that and spoilers.

So, okay. Just... okay. Not sure how else to put this but... there are different kinds of love. And... just because ol' boy here fell in romantic love with someone ten years ago... does not mean that will supersede or overthrow this all encompassing relationship he's had with Mythal for hundreds and hundreds of years. The whole discord over this gives me big... new girlfriend takes issue with boyfriend having any relationship outside of them vibes.

If we're skipping down the Solavellan lane... Solas absolutely loves the Inquisitor. Now, let's take a step back and really think about that one for a moment. Romantic love. Here is a being that is timeless. That has walked Thedas for thousands of years and before that? Was just there. That has no beginning. And he has changed so much... and has fallen in love. With a mortal. With someone he knows he is going to lose - one way or another. He will lose her. He perceives time so incredibly differently than Lavellan. Ten years to him? A blink, if that.

Now, full disclosure - do I think there should have been at least a mural/fresco dedicated to a romanced Lavellan in the Lighthouse? Yes. Absolutely. Like maybe in his weird hidden office. Did they have one planned? Maybe, no idea. I think there should have been one. Because we already know he thinks of his relationship with her as a regret, one he treasures. But a regret regardless. Because he went into that knowing it will hurt. Knowing that it will hurt them both and he did it anyway. He let himself live in a dream, if only for a moment. [Oh and another disclosure - I am not a big Solas x Lavellan fan. I was the one sitting here going "crack the egg!" the whole time building up to Veilguard. So, there's that.] But - thinking about their relationship and how incredibly remarkable it is. Is it unfair to Lavellan? Oh, completely.

But when we're talking about Mythal? Let's see, how best to put this. In order of power; starting at the top: Mythal -> Solas -> Lavellan. Solas was never on equal footing with Mythal. She released him from her service. This was not a loving, two sided relationship. Mythal straight up took advantage of Solas, she manipulated him, and she used him. And because Solas is, at his core, still very much a spirit - he retained that - he's got no concept of grey. It's all black or white with spirits. It is or it isn't. But because he retained that - he never understood what she was doing. Never entertained the idea that she came to him with the sole purpose of using his wisdom as another tool in the fight. "I need your wisdom" she said but immediately disregards it when he offers it up. No, she needed his power. Solas himself is incredibly powerful - his power is just different than the other gods. (And yes, he's a god as they understand the term. He can rail against it all day long but it won't change that fact.) If we are going to look at him like a god - he's a creation / dream god. But not a trickster god. He's a clever one. He's not bound by the same morals as mortals because he doesn't think like one. Just like the 'love' he has for Mythal is not the same because love as mortals understand it is not in his scope of understanding until he meets Lavellan. Then - then he learns what love is. But, while love is the strongest mortal emotion - it is not the strongest emotion for a spirit unless that spirit is a spirit of love.

You have to think of Solas like a spinning top. Like the other gods - he was left unchecked. Only difference is, he's not inherently violent. But he is proud. Because, as we've already learned, wisdom can so easily be twisted to pride. He can be an insufferable know-it-all when dealing with Rook and there's a reason for this. He thinks he knows better. Because that's who he is, that's what he is. But he's already been proven wrong before, so many times. And each time he fails, every time he gets it wrong, he's twisted more towards pride instead of learning from his mistake. Because spirits don't learn.

We've seen it happen before. Justice. If you played Awakening - you would have thought that Justice was like... getting it, right, he was getting the whole mortal thing. But then you see him in DA2 and you're like "wow, yeah... no, he didn't get it". Because mortality comes with it a plethora of grey layers and spirits don't understand that. Spite. He doesn't understand patience, he doesn't understand that people don't just snap back from trauma. He doesn't get it. Spirits don't understand. They only understand their core trait. Spite gets spite. Justice gets justice. Wisdom gets wisdom. End of list. Anything past that? They're spinning tops, grasping at understanding that too often slips through their fingers. And mortals pay the price because mortals are foolish enough to think they can matter in the same way to them.

But Lavellan? She does matter. She 'changes everything'. And Solas doesn't know what to do with that. Because he can't let it change everything. Because he's still in service to Mythal. Running on a directive that is centuries old. A directive that he came to under severe distress. Enemies that were enemies from the start of his physical creation (the Evanuris) and then they kill Mythal. Death is something we know Spirits do not understand. (Spite not understanding where Manfred has gone.) And Solas spirals. So when he meets Mythal again? Sees that not only did she survive in part but that she's been out there? Just leaving him to do what? Flail and flounder? To fight this bloody war that has twisted him into something he was never supposed to be? Well... she's not really Mythal, is she? She's Flemeth. And Flemeth is just a mortal, holding onto power that was never hers. Yes, it's a regret but it's not enough to stop him. Because everything has to go back to the way it was. Back when things made sense! Because Solas doesn't know what to do otherwise. So he does all of this. All while knowing that Lavellan is out there. Knowing that the highest cost of all of it won't be the world but it will be her. So, he stays away from her.

I mean, think about that for a minute. Here's Mythal. Mythal. And he cuts her down. He feels bad, sure but like... doesn't stop him. It could even be argued that one of the reasons she had to go was because she would try to stop him. (But there's no basis for this just rando thought) and yet... here's Lavellan. A mortal. Just a woman. No one, really. A Dalish elf who's missing a damn arm. He has the opportunity to kill her. To just take the anchor's power and kill her. We all know he's done worse to those he's known much longer (-cough-Felassan-cough-). But he doesn't. He can't. He makes sure she'll survive that meeting with him. And then proceeds to stalk her dreams for the next decade. For no real reason other than to just... be with her, in some way. (Yes, it's creepy.)

But the point is - all of these people out there going on about how Lavellan couldn't talk him down but oh, here comes Mythal and she could blah blah blah. And it's like - you're totally missing the mark. Mythal didn't talk him down at all. She literally freed him. Not metaphysically. No, like... she - as the owner - freed him. Suddenly, he was no longer bound. Literally. He was no longer bound by the promise he'd made. He was no longer bound by duty. He could do what he wanted. What he wanted. And what he wanted was to save the world and stop hurting the woman he loved. He wanted to go away and become better for her. He didn't want her hurting more by going with him. Because he knew how fucked up he was. How messed up he was. But there she was, showing him again, that she was far stronger than anyone he'd ever met. Because she wasn't going to let him be alone anymore. Everyone, everyone - spirit or mortal that he had met throughout his incredibly long life has let him be alone. But not her. And there he is - a fucking god, an ageless being... who's seen more, done more, than any person alive... being brought to tears by this woman.

Let's not forget the breathless way he says "vhenan" when he sees her, when he's in her physical presence for the first time in, presumably, years. The way he seems to deflate. Because she can't be there, not her. But there she is. And that makes it worse. That twists the knife again. That makes him, as a fucking spirit, lean harder towards pride.

I mean, who could look at the interaction he has with Mythal and think that that is love? The man damn near kneels as soon as he sees her. And not in a good way. He turns into this vulnerable, shaken, obviously hurt being in her presence. And Mythal just spits out a generic apology and then releases him. That's the care she had for him. From a beautiful spirit of wisdom to this. This is what she has done to him. Who the hell is going to compare the two? And then the way he is almost brought to his knees not out of sorrow or anything but out of relief- the weight of everything suddenly off of him. I mean, come on.

It's like, I don't know who needs to hear this but women can be abusers too. And Mythal was one hundred percent the offending party here. Look at Solas' interactions with Rook. How he speaks to them, how he acts with them, how confident he is (how much of an asshole he is, honestly) and then look at how Solas is with romanced Lavellan in Inquisition. Carefree, almost. Light. A little silly. Mister Soft eyes over there. Gentle. And remorseful at the end but still soft. And then look at him with Mythal. Dude damn near crumbles. That is not a loving relationship. That is not okay.

And yeah - this kind of went all over the place but the point of it is this...

You can't think of Solas the same as you would a mortal person. Because he isn't. And you can't think of Mythal as a mortal person. Because she isn't. One far more removed than the other but the fact remains - Solas is still very bound when he denies Lavellan when she pleads for him to stop (again). Once unbound, Solas is free to do what he's wanted to do all along. Be the hero. Save the people, all people, all life. He's been trying to since the very beginning but has been restricted by his creation into the mortal realm. Were Mythal and him a couple? No. I'm not sure it even occurred to Solas that that was even a possibility until Lavellan. I don't think romantic emotional and physical connections intertwined into one relationship even occurred to Solas until Lavellan. Do I think he's had partners before? Possibly, dude's hella old. But personally, I think that if he did (and that's questionable) it was probably more about curiosity than true relationships. Because he comes from a world of power structure and ever shifting dynamics above and below him but never with him. Mythal and the rest are above him. Felassan and the others were below him. And he's rigid when it comes to taking advantage of others (insert his comment about not being with the Inquisitor under false pretenses, which I call bullshit on but that's just my opinion).

And I better stop because I could just keep rambling and rambling about this.

[yooniesim]

Hi uh, I hope it's okay to ask, but which creator are you referring to? Because the whole cp thing is kind of a huge accusation and I'm definitely not comfortable with supporting someone who's into that kind of stuff

tianshii88/rentbunny/zhuhaitang/yin-shimo

to be clear it's not csam (real children) it's fictional (drawn & in sims), but they're extremely creepy as a person & remind me of abusers in my past that exposed me to that same fictional material as a child. it's common for those that do have bad intentions to use it to blur the lines/make minors feel like it's normal/okay so that they're easier to groom & abuse. this isn't something that everyone that consumes this content does, obviously, but the amount of times they specifically have had questionable boundaries raises red flags for me. (Having a minor character in a fetish pose in a preview on a blog they specifically allowed minors to follow for cc, defending that by saying the original mangaka posed the character that way first so it was his fault not theirs, having a discord server with a dead dove channel that minors could access & saying it was ok bc they had to use a react role to get in, calling survivors that were uncomfortable with this crybabies, puritans & dumbasses, etc)

I never could finish the full post i was making about them bc it was frankly pretty triggering to me & I was dealing with my father's passing at the time, but I still have the screenshots despite them changing their name multiple times, wiping their blog of everything & changing their pinned to be 18+ only. There's also other people that have called them out for certain things (like the pose incident) before in the past. I'm not saying they're a predator or child abuser, since I know they'll jump to that immediately- but I am saying they're creepy and their history of a lack of solid boundaries between minors & the adult content they consume is irresponsible and unacceptable. I certainly wouldn't feel comfortable having them in the same spaces as minors in this community. I personally blocked them a long time ago when they were rentbunny bc I saw they (as a non-black person) liked posts that were calling me a c*on and telling me to kms, but the full extent of all the rest that was brought to my attention was staggering tbh.

When I figured out they were in my server at the time (members came to me with the proof & said they were uncomfortable/triggered), I banned them silently. They responded by publicly harassing me for weeks and claiming that I had bullied them. They openly admitted they had only been in my server with the aim of baiting people into talking about them, and then posted screenshots of... people saying their cc was too high poly, had too many swatches for their liking, and someone editing the buns off one of their hairs for personal use. And they listed off usernames of people that had never mentioned them/were not active, purely with the goal to get others to attack them. They also mocked me for being in mourning for my father that had just passed, and after I had blocked them continued to make passive aggressive references to my grief. And this isn't even counting all the cc issues, taking money for commissions & ghosting the commissioners for months, and miscellaneous bigotry & bad behavior they've been involved in. This is all now deleted & they changed their username to yin-shimo directly after acting a complete fool towards me. But none of my posts are deleted, and I didn't forget. A lot of other people haven't either. So overall, I think they have bigger issues in their own house to focus on before worrying about someone else's cc dress.

[genericpuff]

Rachel did a live Q&A in the LO Discord server and gave some news about the Animated Series, it’s still happening! (Surprisingly) Any thoughts on that or things you’d like to see from it?

Right, like every other time she's said it's "still happening" with no evidence to actually support it. That's always been the issue and still is.

Sorry, that's not me being snarky at you, I'm more so frustrated and absolutely fucking done with all the empty promises and platitudes.

Best case scenario with what was said during the Q&A was that she said "it's still happening" (worst case was that she didn't address it at all).

Like, how is this:

"I can say that… we are currently doing work on it… and it is going well.. and that it looks really cool and that I wish everyone could see what we’ve done because it looks really really really cool, and it’s happening, but that’s all I can say at this point… I can say, making tv shows takes a really long time, it takes so long" (last night's Q&A)

Any different than this:

Any different than this:

“Um, it’s been really interesting. It’s been educational for me. So, what I—what has been done so far is beautiful. Like, if I could share it, I would. But I can’t. Because it’s very naughty.” - Girl Wonder SDCC (July 2023)

She's been saying this for the last two years since people started getting suspicious it wasn't happening in the first place, and despite all the reassurances that "it's still happening", it doesn't seem to have anything to show for itself. Cast list? Nope. Director? Nope. Writers? Nah. Just a showrunner whose bio still says "TBA" and who, despite having a whole ass 40 minute long interview with Girl Wonder, still didn't have anything to show for what's to come, just more empty promises that it's "still happening" (and a lot of banter about Stephanie's life, rather than her involvement with LO).

In fact, most of what Stephanie talks about in the podcast concerning LO is pitching it, not developing it. And this interview happened just a few months ago. Go listen to it yourself if you don't believe me.

So at this point, I see "it's still happening" as "don't panic" corporate speak for "we're still pitching it and trying to find a network for it so we can actually move onto development." Yes, animation takes a long time, even Hazbin Hotel took about three and a half years to finally release after Prime bought the rights to it in 2020. But LO, again, clearly hasn't even started the animation process yet. And while we're comparing it to Hazbin, note that HH actually had LOADS to show for itself along the way of being developed and did a much, MUCH better job at staying relevant and pulling in new people and hyping it up. Even people who never watched Hazbin before in its indie days on Youtube were hearing about it, it made an active effort to sell itself to new viewers and break out of its bubble on Youtube. Is LO doing that? No, not really. Most of the people who know about it are diehard fans who refuse to read anything that isn't shown directly to them on Webtoons, and diehard haters who are tired of the garbage that gets advertised on Webtoons. Ask anyone who doesn't use Webtoons, and best case, they'll know someone who reads LO, worst case, they won't even know what a webtoon is.

Shit, even the new upcoming Zelda movie has names attached to it, including Avi Arad, Wes Ball, and Derek Connolly. And my god, it's gonna SUCK DICK with that bad of a line-up (the guy who ruined the OG Spiderman trilogy and created Morbius, the guy who directed the Maze Runner films, and one of the leading storywriters behind Rise of Skywalker, fucking YIKES) but hey, at least it has more than one name attached to it.

But okay, if we're gonna play the comparison game, let's be fair and compare LO to some other works in its own lane. Let's Play announced last year that it would be getting an animated adaption, and it already has a studio backing it that is FAR more suited for it than JHC is to LO - OLM, the same studio whose animated for massive franchises like Pokemon, Yo-Kai, and Gudetama. JHC meanwhile has animated... motion capture kid shows like Word Party. Because that's the only kind of animation they actually specialize in when it comes to their in-house services. Sure, they also have Harriet the Spy, but that wasn't animated by them, that was animated by Titmouse Inc (heh sorry).

I'm the Grim Reaper recently had its own animated adaption announced, and who's in charge of it? Oh, only SAM FUCKING RAIMI-

And look, maybe the Let's Play and I'm the Grim Reaper adaptions won't happen either. I just think it's ironic that they both have more to show for themselves in terms of credible names attached to them than what LO has managed to scrape up after five years of promising that it's "still happening" (especially when one of those series is nowhere near as big as LO and the one that WAS as big as LO walked away from Webtoons entirely). For Webtoons' own "worldwide phenomenon", they sure have given LO the shit end of the stick by pairing it with a family-with-kids-under-10 production studio that doesn't specialize in animation and a showrunner who got her start with the Cosmopolitan (weird how LO has so many plugs with Cosmo, huh? Why is JHC producing the show again?)

At the end of the day, nothing's changed. It's still just the ole' "it's still happening" record on a loop, while the comic itself falls further out of favor with people. And it's likely gonna be going behind DailyPass soon, so just think about what that's gonna do to its relevancy after it gets sent away to the equivalent of the Webtoons graveyard.

As I've said countless times before every time this topic comes up, at best, if it is still happening, and I'm wrong about all of this, they are doing the worst job I've ever seen at hyping people up and keeping them informed. It is NOT a good thing that people have to keep asking Rachel if it's still happening.

As for worst case... you wanna know what other projects come to my mind that have fallen into the same state of development hell and decay as LO's TV show? YandereSim and Cryamore. What do you think the popular opinion is about those works and their creators now? Because if you don't know either of those names and are about to google them, let me give you a heads up warning - it's not positive.

If it happens, it happens. It will hopefully be before I get all the therapy I need to undo what LO has done to my brain so that I don't have to make repeat visits LOL But if it's after, hey, maybe the show will be good! Assuming Rachel doesn't, y'know, E.L. James the whole thing. Because frankly, the show will need to cut and rework a LOT of stuff to be any good IMO and I don't think that will be possible if Rachel gets directly involved. But I'm not even hoping for that scenario because there's literally NOTHING to give me that hope, "it's still happening" is nothing more than "don't panic" corporate speak to me at this point. It's cynical, but I just can't waste my energy caring about it anymore.

[sreegs]

i've seen people talking about this before: growing up online in the 90s and 2000s, you didn't give any personal info away including your age. that was normal defensiveness (and frankly we should still do that).

i was just thinking about my experience with that and how, many times, in my little groups of forum buddies and people I met in other online spaces, it was a SHOCK to learn their age. obviously most of them were older than me, but i guess what i didn't really think about is how that helped me be friendly with older people who are just there to enjoy things the same way you are.

now i'm on the other side of that equation. the people i run into online are more likely to be younger than me by a decade or two. there's books to be written about these topics, ageism and your presence online, but i guess what i'm getting at is: if someone in your circle of acquaintances, discord or blogs or what have you, is like 20, 30, 40 years older than you, and they're just being their pleasant self, it's not weird. treat them like you would anyone else.

same thing goes for people younger than you. don't be condescending in either direction. it wasn't long ago that you simply didn't know the other person's age. and truly, you still don't. but, yeah. the obvious thing to add here is, this is different if they're being creepy or making you uncomfortable through their behavior. but their existence isn't an affront to you if they aren't doing anything wrong

[jayceeartz]

Tw: kind of a call out post I guess, death threat, mentions of murder and mentions of suicidal thoughts.

I doubt anyone will read this, but I feel like I need to talk about this individual I met on pinterest. I'm sorry if this is badly told and sorry for the lack of screenshots. This happened months ago and I completely forgot about it but I found out we are in a tnmn discord server together. Obviously I blocked them on there but the whole situation is bothering me again. I don't really have anyone to talk about this to so yeah I'm so scared to post this. And sorry if this is a lot to read.

Because i don't really know what pronouns they go by, I'm gonna prefer to them as they/them.

I had posted chenry art on my pinterest account (since deleted cause pinterest is a toxic hell scape) and I kept getting comments from this one account. They were saying shit like "am I supposed to like this????" And a ton of other things I didn't screenshot at the time cause I was really overwhelmed. Their username was something a long the line of "I really love Henry!!!!" Which was already making me feel shitty cause I knew why they were doing this. I was just going to block them but they got in my DMs and asked for my discord. I gave it to them for whatever reason and we started chatting and it was going okay. We talked about tnmn and horror movies but they still seemed pretty pissed with me. We kept talking when they out of nowhere said this

(I'm Bastard and they're Rat)

I thought they were just telling a horrible joke. But they started talking about personal stuff that I won't be showing. But I tried being understanding, but it was obvious they were taking my kindness for granted.

After talking about that they said this.

But of course, I'm not gonna stay friends with crazy person who wants me dead and probably has my IP address. So I asked my good friend on Instagram if I should keep them or not and showed them the screenshots. And they were like "JAYCEE! THEY THREATENED YOU BLOCK THEIR ASS FAST!!!" and so I immediately did so. And I spent the rest of the night wanting to kms.

That happened like, months ago. I completely forgot about the whole thing. But I found them in a discord server I'm in. And I haven't really felt safe on pinterest or discord or anything cause idk all of their socials. I generally feel like someone's out there wanting to kill me. But to anyone who might wanna block them, here's their socials that I was able to find.

I hate to sound dramatic, but I feel so scared to post this. What if they find this and start harassing me more or doxx me? Just to be safe I'm going to leave that server I'm in with them. I don't interact much on there anyway.

I'm really sorry for posting this out of nowhere. And sorry my dumbass didn't have many screenshots. I feel like such a fucking idiot for giving them my discord. This whole situation is stupid and wouldn't have happened if I didn't post my chenry art..

But yeah. Please be safe and aware of red flags when talking to people on the internet! You never know what could happen!

[aphrodeiities]

i've returned to post about a particular subject i've been fighting to or not to post, because i used to consider this person the closest person in my life and i even considered her as a best friend and a sister.

and we have fallen out and apologised to each other many times, but perhaps whenever we argued it was life telling me that she is not supposed to be in my circle. and you could be wondering why am i bringing this up and telling tumblr this but im telling tumblr this to be aware of @couerardent and her scamming behaviour.

couerardent also known as MYSTIICWINTER OR MYSTICWIINTER.

talk about WORSE SERVICE I HAVE EVER GOTTEN MY ENTIRE LIFE.

[other people have come to me and spoke about how bad her services were, but i tried to overlook it because i really cared for her, lessoned learn]

i have always been empathetic towards ardent and her money situation, but there are moments when excuses turn into reasons to not do something. on august, i sent alex money because she needed it, but she also said in return she will give me 4 packs she usually gives her clients and she told me she would give me my money back.

first pack is "tell me your story."

second and other packs she hadnt told me what they were but she informed me that i'll be receiving them weekly since august, and now its november.

at first i was empathetic, since i used to be close to ardent, i knew she went through a lot of stuff at home, so i was patient. until august turned into september, and september turned into october and then october turned into novemeber.

and slowly i became annoyed, [as i should] because her services arent even long or good, as someone who gives chart readings to other people that consists more than fourteen pages, the effort to write that would take long, but ardent doesnt even give five pages for her services, three at most, so why is it taking her so long?

previously, she has joked to me about scamming other people, but would put the blame on them and not want to take accountability until they start using threats to expose her, i think she deleted the making fun of scamming them but here is some of it:

and when i would message her for updates about my reading because it'll take months, she would ignore me and even change her pfp on tumblr or discord, until i reach out to her on more platforms to get her attention.

and what would annoy me even more is that she would talk about how she never has something to do or would focus on other stuff knowing she needs to get my reading done lmao and this would be like 1-2 months after i was supposed to receive any of it lol.

worrying about the layout for almost 3 months PLEASE.

i have received 1/4 readings, and that was now almost 2-3 weeks ago, we should've been on my 2nd or 3rd reading by now, the only reason i have received 1 reading is because i did threaten to expose her if she didnt send the money or reading my way, because even i had some issues because living in london has gotten really difficult and i have been trying to support my family as much as i can, but im doing better right now.

its all about the principle. and she has none of that. and even attempted to victimise herself and behave like she was in distress whenever she got called out about her behaviour.

she lost track of time, the time being 3-4 months lol.

and when i was speaking to her she ignored me for a bit again ha, it was almost comedic. for almost two weeks she didnt try and check what i was speaking about.

she has gotten ill, but this was still months after.

and i have remembered, she has used much of her earned money to fund for her nose job but also uni, but during the moments it was best to pay me back was at the job she said paid her well, she informed me that when she gets paid by her job she'll pay me back, and she never did and ended up quitting the job.

[the unfairness i was speaking about is how uni her country dont do student finances, she's from romania, because they do in the uk it was just a surprise].

i asked her recently on how i was supposed to receive a reading but she didnt reply but change her pfp on whatsapp and discord, again.

if there is any confused people comment please because i did this half asleep lmao

[lggy]

I’m on both and every time I go back over to aphtwt it’s like that guy with pizzas going into a room on fire

its a long ass story thats been going on since the reveal of s7. here's just a recount of what's been going on lately for anyone curious i guess. its just to answer why a lot of people are icked out by laurance right now and why people are saying "i cant enjoy laurance anymore"

bascially laurance's va doesn't know how to properly manage his image,

ive been following him long before, he would have a few old tweets and tiktoks where he gets really annoyed towards aphmau fans, and reasonably so

...after the reveal of s7, he tried coming back to make his brand Laurance except he's using his NFSW bdsm account. after people started trying to link his nsfw links to his aphwiki page i made a twt post asking people to stop doing that. thats when we realized seb is obsessed with searching himself up on twitter and he proceeded to QRT me and make a few response posts reiterating what i said and apologizing for interacting with minors on his nsfw account. he made a new alt account for interacting with fans on aphtwt.

that was back around september-october

he searches himself and laurance up constantly to QRT and pick fights and stuff. its clear he's going through mental shit - he talks about it a lot. but it took him months to realize hes not fit to be running an account to host his image/brand that he wants to be about Laurance. he picks up on any drama around himself and kinda has a villain speech every time someone doesnt like him. im kind of starting to feel bad for him.

this is all while lowkey begging Jess to contact him again to bring him back for VA work, cryptically referring to her sometimes as "The Creator". I forgot to mention he had this whole "Guys im having a huge reveal, Im coming back to VAing for a very special charater.." thing. me and a lot of people picked up on him being kind of.. fake? basically, he shit on aphmau before, equated VA work to a MLM, then had a total sudden switch-up as soon as s7 was announced and realized he can renew his role. he had a video saying he wants this job to get a new tattoo.

^ 'What's wrong with wanting money?' the thing is being a VA means you need to have a good image and thats usually generated by having a good fanbase. all that really said was that he's just hopping on a bandwagon to get paid and thus his fan interactions just came across as desperate and bait-y and fake as hell. think about how other VA's interact w their fans then compare it to this,

what happened yesterday was that garroth's VA announced he was doing a mystreet rewatch with much of the og cast!... then sebastian QRT'd with this

someone even asked if he can join them too

then he joined the discord. then got banned after 10 minutes.. then crashed out about it on twitter, posting that garroth's va blocked him. not posting the massive paragraph he had because its kinda the sameburger poetry. i genuinely have no idea why he would post this than to like, try to get people to turn on garroth's VA. severely inappropriate behavior for someone trying to come back to being a VA

allegedly, seb had livestreamed a while ago where he said something along the lines of, (quoting from oomf's memory) "I don't recommend you contacting or asking any of the old VAs about me, I don't know if they still think about me the same bc of how I was back then. Bipolar Disorder was really bad for me back then, it made me so edgy." and how other VAs had issues with him and tension. - i dont have a source for this but it lines up with this tweet :

where he very inappropriately and for no reason mentioned he had issues with another VA. the problem is he had NO reason to bring that up and had the situation he was referring to was about gene having a fill-in on a cocomau video and nothing to do with seb himself or any drama or anything.

aaand i think thats all. that's the laurance downfall crashout chronicles , i didnt want to get too detailed but i can ask questions and whatever

personally, i nevr really beleived this guy would ever get hired again. all because he uses his real/brand name for his porno stuff. the company does background checks yknow