#someone needs to I need to never forget
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Grief tints and ruins everything for me because this song is probably meant to be sang for a lover and yet all I can think about is her and how she’s dead.
“These simple feelings were maybe all I had” and it really is just reduced to that. Simple feelings that you miss and you can not recreate ever again. Whenever I’m happy, sad, excited all I can think about is how I wish it was something I could share with her. Now I can’t even speak about her without getting a knot in my throat.
If I had known it would end like this, I would have treasured them more.
When will it be when I see you again?
I will look into your eyes and say “I missed you.”
#personal#grief#dealing with grief#I’ve liked this song for so long and it just pains me to listen to it#do I speak Korean? no. but that ain’t necessary#i can feel it whenever I listen to it#I don’t even like LIKE kpop y’know I listen to some songs that’s it#but the way this song is written and composed like I seriously should just not listen to it again???! because it just brings it up#every damn time#but I think that’s not bad either#I don’t wanna forget#ever I don’t care if I Cary a heavy heart because at least I remember her#someone needs to I need to never forget#if I forget her she is truly dead#my thoughts are all over the place forgive me#I get sick with mourning it’s such a heavy feeling you don’t know until you’re in it#it’s like being nauseous for your head it’s so overwhelming#vent post
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would you hold my face softly and tell me it will be alright?
#genshin impact#scaramouche#wanderer#furina#in my head they are already domesticated#very much in a romantic sense#i don’t see why people need to comment besties/siblings so badly#rant time#like you don’t need to ship them but this is my art and i very much ship it#so if you don’t see them that way you can interpret my art that way and go on your merry way#at this point it’s just annoying bc i could never imagine someone commenting siblings on my yantao art#i don’t mind if you see them as best friends i can also see them like that#but you don’t need to announce it#as if your integrity is in danger#im sad i can’t tag the ship bc it’s a rarepair and i’m not sure what the name even is#welp if anyone read this you can totally forget about it now i'm over it#sad scararina hours letsgoo
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Here's my controversial opinion; if you're trying to write Bruce as a non-abusive, good parent, you should also write him respecting his kids' privacy, boundaries, and not stalking&surveying them.
#my dc posting#dc#batfamily#batman#bruce wayne#dick grayson#jason todd#tim drake#damian wayne#looking thru ur kids phone tracking them giving them no privacy etc etc is deeply damaging#but yall aint ready for the ''stalking is their love language' is super toxic' conversation </3#also can we retire the JL being completely chill about it. 'batman just knows things' not being bothered their secret identities were found#out etc can we. stop coddling the batfam#i just need someone anytime to please just call them out like 'hey dont fucking surveil me' like that is actually extremely unethical#and its frankly not hard to write a batman who doesnt invade his kids privacy n boundaries etc#controversially when reading fic where theyre supposed to be healthy n getting along i want to actually feel like its deserved n good for t#hem#instead of sitting there going 'woo thats toxic' 'oh that even worse' 'why are we passing over all that'. like i dont wanna be thinkin they#should go no-contact when its supposed to be fuffy n good :(#like if you can write away the hitting n other abuse why is this the one thing that just must always stay#like genuinely it aint hard to write a parent not stalking their children. actually maybe i should remind you all that stalking is not good#or funny#like i feel like w all the joking some of us are actually forgetting its not good. ever. like absolutely never dont stalk ppl#eh idk. this is why i cant stay in any one fandom too long bc i start developing Opinions which inevitably make me hostile to like#90% of the fandom's content 😔
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I hate the sewers . jpg
#baldur's gate 3#bg3#larian studios#astarion#astarion ancunin#halsin#bg3 halsin#comic#comics#fanart#me browsing my saved clips like 'wait why did i record this one—'#cuts the scene im laughin for solid 5 mins#i feel so bad for astarion it almost looks like he isn't my fav w this treatment kcvvnxovx#'the bank money can wait - we need to pamper astarion now'#hey past me why did u try to switch places w halsin instead of- yknow- tHE GUY YOU PAIRED HIM WITH#prob was bc halsin had more hp to let him step on fire - and also forgetting the water pipe does that#ngl i still don't really understand how to do this part the proper way#like- yeah i know what to do but it's never perfect and always someone will get burned or pushed#plot twist im making better numbers here than twt w bg3 so i'm posting here first while i do a twt detox#my mental health this month is hanging there by two strings and these strings are baldurs gate 3 and hades 2#currently doing my honor run with my rebooted tav'chyon the dracomonk pls wish me luck
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I finally watched "Our Man Bashir" and did like the outfits and the shooting at each other, so I drew this. ✨
Also inspired by this brilliant fanfiction and the very interesting headcanon concerning Cardassians and dancing mentioned in there. 👁️🔥
Reference
#CANONNNN GUYS I AM LIVING#guyyys it has finally happened! that episode was fun but kinda dumb :D#did like the fact that garak was desperate enough for Julian's attention to sew himself a tux and crash Julian's holosuite program#the “wish that were me” vibes oozing out of garak in every scene that had julian making out with someone else were REAL 👏😄#i shall never forget garak's “i have never been hornier for you” face after julian shoots him square in the neck ridge JESUS 😅#absolutely feral gay shit guys what the hell :D i love this lizard man#the power that comes with being an artist - you can just draw the blorbos and put make-up on them - i am LIVING 😁🌞#bi twink x disaster lizard man 🤲#otp: especially the lies#gay spies ✨#idiots in love#garashir#elim garak/julian bashir#elim garak#julian bashir#star trek fanart#artists on tumblr#star trek#star trek ds9#ds9#star trek deep space nine#star trek deep space 9#lwd#lower decks#lwd thank you for my life need to watch the whole episode asap
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So does he, Gallagher.
#honkai star rail#hsr blade#gallagher#i based this off of how many times i used funny soda man to help be a healer with his poppin soda pop in SU#and then blade constantly just being blade as usual#its normally him saying unnecessary to my actual healer but#i kept forgetting gallagher heals and i kept healing when i didnt even need to so TECHNICALLY yeah it was unnecessary#but the amount of times blade was the recipient......#i cant use like most of my newer units in story bc i cant ascend or i run out of leveling mats so i just#get them and toss them into simulated universe for funsies cause i can match their levels better#so thats where i tossed gallagher and he is genuinely fun to play as ? like i love his punches and kicks to start the battle#funny soda man is funny (to me) and im really behind in plot still#but last time i tried to play it on my laptop and got a kickass cutscene my laptop lagged and i couldnt even see it RIP to me#so now that its like ... me trying to play it on desktop ?#i mostly get on desktop for comms and if i do much else i feel like im slacking off even if i would take a break anyway#one day i can play more story plot stuff and actually meet the funny guys#also in case you know me for Not Having Boys in HSR i need to point out#i did pull Gallagher however same 10 pull got a 4 star girl copy for someone i never use and she is at e4 now cool#and i didnt even think of the irony as i started this i just like drawing blade and i wanted to draw gallagher#so when i already had the dialogue planned and am drawing i was like OH WAIT haha im funnier than i thought#(no i am not but we can pretend)
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Have you ever thought about how forgetting something can be a blessing?
You, as a human, maybe wouldn't agree on that. But every time they observed you, listened to you talk about something that was tugging at your mind for weeks... And then — poof. You didn't care anymore. Something that they couldn't afford, most of the time because they remembered how bad it actually was.
Humans call it "moving on". The brain just forgets the details, washes away the negative memories. It leaves a trace, a sinking, heavy feeling in your stomach when you thought about that situation when it was mentioned. But mostly, you didn't hold the needed information anymore to care.
Often times that not, they felt jealous of such ability. Memories are their most prized possession! If anything, their only possession. But they had seen things they wanted to forget. They knew things they didn't want to know. Oh, if only they were able to click that 'delete' button in their head.
Why did no one tell them you didn't choose which things to forget?
It was quite normal for children to be a bit forgetful. It's not something that phased them.
But you're not a child. You've been an adult for so long. Why do you look at them with such... Unfamiliarity? After so many years of knowing each other. Decades! You're supposed to have tons of memories with them! Did you not cherish those memories? Did you delete them on purpose? What did they do wrong for you to even think of doing that?
How could you forget their names?
Should they ask to delete yours?
#xit shh#i think about this so often. how they would be jealous of humans for so many things. and how you would be jealous of them for some#they don't know what it's like to forget something. maybe they had something get deleted but it's not the same#also I'll assume they're not allowed control over their files#so even if they really really wanted to delete something they would need to beg someone to do it for them#imagine thinking your human lover is just very good at keeping their headspace organised and tidy#admire you for getting rid of memories you deem unnecessary#just for you to slowly start forgetting *them*#because that's how they would think it works! did you never care about them in the first place?#that's why you did it? you betrayed them?#should they also try to 'move on'?#anyway
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"See you tomorrow"
MDZS Disco Elysium AU part 4 [prev parts]
#better drawn mdzs#MDZS Disco Elysium AU#mdzs au#Lan wangji#wei wuxian#yiling laozu#Happy Belated Halloween!#digital art#Thank you all for your patience as I drove myself into a madness only known by those lost at seas alone.#I put a lot of time into this one! It's not perfect but I am very happy with it + I am so happy to put down the tablet pen.#Digital art has some nice features but I'm sticking with traditional! I need a month to recover from the 2+ weeks of torture.#Okay lets talk about the AU and the comic now#Disco elysium has some of the best existential-horror-dream sequences I have ever seen.#The dialogue here is heavily inspired by The Final Dream - A scene I'd love to talk about more were it not so heavy with spoilers.#My AU is a lot more complex than a simple character swap but I really felt like LWJ + YLLZ fit this scene.#The final dream is about being unable to move on from a lost love. From something You made holy. From something You ruined.#It is about realizing that no matter how smart you are or what you offer or how you try to change -#You will never be able to turn back time. You will never ever be able to fix what is broken. That you also have been broken for a long time#You are a fuck-up who worships the nail covered ground of someone who did not want to be holy. And even though it hurts-#You cannot let this nightmare go. The pain keeps the love close. It is worse to forget. You promised to remember.#WWX died thinking LWJ disliked him. LWJ lost someone he thought was revolted by his love.
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there's something i need to say and yall can boo me for it but deep in my heart i'll always know i'm correct: crowley already forgave aziraphale. like already would take him back at one flutter of his eyelashes. that's all.
#do i wish he wouldn't forgive so easily (tho i don't actually think aziraphale needs forgiveness since he didn't do anything wrong and#actually without his decision their love story would've been stuck as it was for more than 6000 years and also heaven would never change#without someone dismantling it and making it new)#yes i do wish that and i also wish he'd learn self worth but we gotta be realistic here he never once been able to stay mad at aziraphale#all those times they had fights where aziraphale was (mostly) in the wrong and rejected crowley what did crowley do? immediately come#CRAWLING and BEGGING back like pls yall this is why i don't read post s2 fics bc everyone suddenly seems to forget their whole canon#personalities and history w each other and it's annoying me so much like i get that we all are hoping crowley learns from his mistakes and#stops being so easy for aziraphale (not me tho) but realistically speaking it's just not gonna happen and once again aziraphale DIDN'T. DO.#ANYTHING. WRONG. yes he hurt crowley with his decision but CROWLEY HURT HIM WITH HIS TOO so if yall wants an apology dance it's gonna turn#into a waltz cause they'd both need to do it#good omens#good omens s2#azicrow#crowley#aziraphale#aziracrow#ineffable spouses#good omens season 2#ineffable husbands#go s2
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this is very in-text but i love that zoro gets attuned to kiku from the get-go not only because of this sword wielder code that he's followed through all extremes of the practice, from brook to kin'emon -- recognizing and respecting all masters -- but because her existence is the solid evidence, the living proof that kuina was wrong
#zokiku#in the sense that if he squints long enough and whips his head to a certain angle super fast for a fraction of a second he can see his best#friend towering over him and being the most badass samurai ever#also zoro has only seen kuina in 3 other ppl but that's a post for another day#i'm at onigashima and like he's never cared about someone that isn't a strawhat this much since johnny and yozaku#who mind you are his FRIENDS meaning zoro sees her as a friend an equal and a force to be reckoned with#op log#zoro#roronoa zoro#how could i forget to add him to the tags when most of my watching experience is prodding into that seaweed head of his w some tweezers#last but not least#op okiku#okiku#i adore her#something something gender is a performance and kiku wears both the armor and the kimono#last 2 cents on this i swear and hopefully i'm not transgressing into spoiler territory too much but when kiku is in danger like big i need#help danger he uses wado and wado only to come by her side#which could mean nothing#but it's still a beautiful way to tie it all back to kuina and his mourning process
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pei sijing get behind me. your moral code is too unyielding your values are too straightforward your speech is too candid your protection is too loyal your love is too self-sacrificial your heart is buried too deep and the darkness and overwhelming loneliness that rests on your shoulders and the haunted look in your eyes is too close to consuming you. they’ll kill you
#defending her on the internet isnt enough i need to start filing lawsuits#it has to be understood that her values are actually very simple. if she considers you a friend/ally/loved one etc she will do what#she thinks is in best interest for you. most often this includes protecting you in the way(s) she knows how. to the audience this might#not always please us. re: people thinking she was too harsh on zyc (i don't though. i'm not people!) but in her mind she was considering#the bigger picture + commonfolk too like wen xiao said. and zyc needed someone to embody his values and morals in that moment too#psj did what he would've done. anyway the rest is pretty much self explanatory. she'd truly and honestly die for those she loves. she never#forgets that she's human. but she doesnt treat it so much as a weakness but as a reason to be stronger. to fight harder. i just love her sm#fangs of fortune#pei sijing
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religiously checking every ten minutes in the next hour if agatha all along new ep is out yet bc im insane
#bro shoutout to my brothers gf for having disney plus (but also not telling me until like 3 days ago 😭)#but im grateful bc it means i don’t have to wait an extra day for someone to upload it to dodgy sites (myflixer my beloved)#better late than never so shoutout to you queen#agatha all along#agatha harkness#agatha x rio#agatha harkness x rio vidal#rio vidal#patti lupone#alice wu gulliver#jennifer kale#i cant even imagine now waiting even just one more day to watch the ep im so insane#but shoutout to my flixer tho that shit has my back always#i will never forget my roots even if fandom family members have steaming services that i need
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WTF I JUST FOUND OUT THIS KAISHIN AMV GOT DELETED AND IDK WHERE TO FIND IT, I'M FUCKING DEVASTATED THIS IS MY LIBRARY OF ALEXANDRIA
if anyone has a copy or knows where else it's uploaded, please tell me I'M BEGGING
#kaishin#sad day for the kaishin community#IM SO DUMB I SHOULDN'T HAVE DELETED MY COPY OF THIS FUUUUUCK#i only had this clip cos i screamed about it on twitter#yt user steffy1412 if you're out there please come back 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#the ksn community needs your amv 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#the way i lost my goddamn mind the first time i watched this#DUDE IM IN SHAMBLES I WANT THE FULL ONE WHY DID I DELETE IT#i trusted the youtube upload too much that i didnt stop to consider the impermanence of digital data ✋😔#GIRL IM LEGIT SAD LIKE IM CRAVING THIS SPECIFIC AMV AND NOW I CANT REWATCH IT IM DEVASTED#at the very least steffy1412 if youre out there#i absolutely adore your work you're an absolute madman#and though memories fade through time i will never forget the way this fucking amv eviscerated me thank you for your hard work 🤧🤧🤧#PLEASE IF SOMEONE HAS A COPY OF IT GIMME GRABBY HANDS IM DESPERATE LMFAOOOOOO#it's the kamikaze kaishin amv#you know the one#dc prattles
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sometimes I forget that my experience has been. um. not 'your experiences are not universal' vibes but more like 'your experiences are EXTREMELY atypical'
#red said#recent events have reminded me that my life has involved like. a LOT of other people's psychosis#like not in a way where i have been Beset By Terrifying Crazies bc that's not like. a thing.#but a lot of people in my life have had a lot of really severe psychotic episodes#and i FORGET sometimes. that actually that is an Unusual Amount Of Experience With Psychosis for someone who's not#for somebody who has not really personally ever had psychotic episodes (unless severe PTSD flashbacks count)#actually i tell a lie i have maybe had One psychotic episode but because it was very situational and i knew what was happening#i was able to ride it out. because i am literally only psychotic Inside Hospitals and so that's all fine#as long as i LITERALLY NEVER HAVE TO HAVE INPATIENT CARE. Very important to me to never ever ever require surgery i think.#i can handle the amount of psychosis i get from a 1-4 hour stopoff in hospital#as long as i know I'm leaving soon then i can just Cope with the fact that the walls are moving and reality is thin#ANYWAY that's not the point the point is i forget! that most ppl i know have experience of at most a handful of severe psychotic episodes#some people i know have experienced more for sure. especially if the episodes were mostly theirs.#but people really seem to expect me to be more freaked out by their symptoms of psychosis than i am#bc i don't think i really register it as frightening unless they're in actual danger or Currently Aggressing Actually At Me#like i WORRY about them bc it can super suck but it's not SHOCKING or WEIRD#there have definitely been times ive been frightened. one time i woke up in the night and my friend was standing over me with a knife#but also like he was still HIM he was just having a moment. and as soon as i got the knife off him he just came back and broke down.#and we were fine and he was safe and i learnt the valuable lesson that even when people seem like they wanna kill you they probably don't#tbf now I'm thinking about it it's honestly a tossup whether he was there to threaten or because he felt a need to guard us#like to be clear probably don't try and take a knife off someone having a psychotic break. i was 17 and it was 3am and i knew him very well#i probably did not make the smartest call but nobody got hurt is the point#anyway you know there's that kind of psychotic episode and my granny got very violently angry a few times. buuuut you know there's also#been plenty of other times I've been with somebody having an episode and it's been chill as hell.#my ex saw and heard monsters so much that eventually she just got sick of being scared. we used to watch TV with them#i would sometimes have to sit on a bit of sofa that wasn't haunted and we might not be able to watch certain things bc they didn't like it#most of the time she was hallucinating there was absolutely nothing to worry about we just had a few extra variables#honestly of everyone i know who's had psychotic episodes or schizophrenia the amount of times it's been a material risk#is like. low single figures? maybe low double if you include self harm but idk what the cause and effect is there.#idk why you would need to be frightened like 99.99% of the time it truly is usually just Oh No That Seems Distressing For You I'm Sorry
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So did anyone else notice how in that scene right near the end where Sevika takes a seat at the new council table and some people quite obviously still disapprove, Sevika is still the only person from Zaun in that room? And you can just tell as she sits down that neither she really thinks she belongs there (hence acts both wary and defensive) and nor really do the rest of the councilmen. I think it's kind of neat cause it shows that Piltover may have just gone through war (which has often been used as an instrument to unite a country under the banner of nationalism in modern history) but it is absolutely not prepared for a complete overhaul of its system. When they give Zaunites a voice at the table, it is just one voice, who may easily be overpowered in the future and who has no experience with the way their politics is handled. Piltover is doomed to repeat its mistakes, because all that this grand war did was distract them from their many, many problems, at least for a while. Until they return to their old ways. Until the mourning period is over and you start gatekeeping top side again. Until enough time has passed for them to get angry and hopeless again, but it doesn't matter, because they are back where they belonged all along.
And maybe that was the point, not to show that society is doomed, but to prove that although everyone managed to come together for a moment, it was only ever going to be a moment. That sometimes complex societal dynamics can't be so easily and satisfactorily solved. But still- the solutions in the short term are flimsy, but they are still there. Sevika is still there. Vi is still there. Sometimes all you need is some dirt under your fingernails you can never really clean out to remind you that no, things aren't okay, but they goddamn well will be.
#I'm really just rambling sorry#But what bothered me about the ending is why would you let a perfectly good societal set up#That gives you endless opportunities for conflict and demands correction#Go to waste in favour of the final enemy being someone whose story is never quite explained within the show itself#And lo and behold all Piltover needed was a war to forget class dynamics and disparity exists#Sorry but. It's lazy and I didn't like it#So now I'm reading into details to tell me no they weren't being lazy and they are in fact perfectly aware#Of how their long-term solution is still not a solution#arcane#arcane s2#arcane spoilers#arcane season 2#z's [un]original bakwaas
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#embarrassment#not gonna comment further because i cba#usually i wait for someone else to post this stuff so i can just rb#but im impatient and wanna go to bed and not forget lmao#i wanna say im surprised by all the random celebs coming out the woodwork with this kind of shit but i really am not#elon musk#nick jonas#receipts#nah im actually just soooooo#like i dont actually care pr like nick jonas is the thing#i should not be talking about this in these tags but oh well#anyways point is i could say a lot but im gonna keep it simple#basically i dont care. and i hate being on twitter because it literally is just brain rotting material on their#like my own personal rage bait. but i also have this incessant need to know about this shit#so i am in a never ending toxic cycle lmao#like id rather know that not and i definitely dont Live on there like i do tumblr#and it does have its plus sides too#but oh my goooodddddd#idk what im saying its 2am pls forgive me i just wanted to post this then sleep and here i fucking am#on the longest rant to ever rant#n e ways#me: im not gonna comment further#me 2 seconds later: comments further#lmaoooo
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