#someone help the poor man

[fozzieosbourne]

Absolutely nobody:

Matthew Porretta recording his Alan Wake dialogue for Dead by Daylight:

[liaragaming]

Varric: What's so confusing about endless darkspawn?

Solas: A great deal.

This exchange will never not get me. There's a lot about modern Thedas Solas has had to figure out. But that darkspawn thing... that's still got him stumped like:

[wilsonsfatwhitecat]

I love that if something bad happens to house he has this look of “guess I’ll just fucking die”

[mimichionats]

muscular mochi america will never fail to crack me up

let me cook yall…

[thetorturedlovergirl]

So you're telling me that if Elphaba hadn't been able to turn Fiyero into a scarecrow, Dorothy would have found a beaten and nearly dead man tied to a post.

[temeyes]

brrrrrrrrrrr colddddd

[kingtheghast]

Local goat forced to touch grass

[michealscorneroftheinternet]

Oh boy everyone!!! It's finally happening!!!! 

WOTFI 2024 Is less than 24 hours away and I wanted to share some predictions/theories!!!

- Mr. Puzzles is going to get someone horribly maimed or killed.

We already have a possible confirmation from our dear Television himself in the PSA.

- Who should we be most scared for??? I know a lot of people are scarred for Meggy and SMG3 but based on Mr. Puzzles Clubhouse beginning scene we should be most concerned for Mario and SMG4.

Both were on Puzzles absolute LOATH list with the most knives or sharp deadly objects thrown at. Though with Mario being the world's Avatar I have to assume they wouldn't go killing that man. At most horribly injured. Though SMG4 is definitely not in the clear. Despite being our main protagonist he is high on Puzzles hate list. 

Though I can imagine SMG3 possibly saving SMG4's life. So SMG3 could easily be an accidental target.

- Now another one I've seen is will Puzzles live after this WOTFI? And as much as I'd love to give a “oh he's so gonna _____ after this WOTFI.” But I can't. I can see it going either way but a part of me does hope for a possible redemption. With his backstory and all. I feel it's possible. But again I can also see him dying as a high possibility for what he's done to the crew and others. So I'll leave this as is.

- Do I believe we'll get some sweet sweet SMG34? YES. With how SMG3 was in Welcome to Puzzle Park I can see the two sticking pretty close once they can find each other.

With that I believe as this being my first ever live WOTFI experience, this is going to be an absolute blast!!!! 

[puppetmaster13u]

Meme Snippet of Alp Oneshot

[whereismyhat5678]

Guys, guess what time it is✨✨

[aq2003]

please do yourself a favor and listen to david tennant malvolio reading the fake love letter to him (act 2 scene 5 of twelfth night). im going to actually start sobbing. oh my GOD

[goldenamaranthe-blog]

Unhinged Kitchen: Lucifer ft. Charlie

Lucifer: *standing at the kitchen counter with various ingredients around him* Hellooooooo, and welcome to Hazbin Hotel's Unhinged Kitchen! Where we will be going over the poor man, the bachelor, the college student way of cooking and baking for all your comfort foods!

Charlie: Dad, what are you doing?

Lucifer: Just teaching all the poor, forever alone Sinners how to cook and bake on a budget!

Vaggie: I think he's projecting, Babe....

Lucifer: *clears his throat* Have you ever wanted a nice, comforting, delicious, warm apple pie but don't have the money to pay for a whole one at the store? Well, today I'm going to show you all how to make cheap and easy apple crisp! All you're gonna need is some instant oats, butter, powdered cinnamon, vanilla extract, and a form of apples we will go over later. Oh! and light brown sugar if you wish!

First! Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit or 176 Celsius. *turns on oven.*

Next! You're gonna want to put a pot on the stove around medium heat, and then plop on in a whopping three sticks of butter!

Charlie: Three?!?! Dad!!! Are you sure that's right?!?!?!

Lucifer: Oh! Right! You may need that fourth stick of butter, so keep in on hand.

Charlie: *jaw drops*

Lucifer: Now, we're gonna melt these bad boys while sprinkling in cinnamon, light brown sugar, and vanilla extract. Not too much to start, mind you. Brown sugar should be maybe a spoon full. The rest is gonna be to taste after we get the oats in.

Charlie: *holding up five different types of spoons* WHICH SPOON?!?!?

Lucifer: Any of them. We adjust to taste later. ANYWAY!!! Stir all this together and add 18 ounces or one small container of quick oats! *pops open the lid of an oatmeal container and dumps everything into the pot before stirring everything together* Aaaaaaannnnd stir, baby, stir!!! We want these bad boys completely coated in the delicious butter mix! Soak up aaaaaaallllll that slick, buttery goodness! If you're still dry, don't worry! Add another stick and you'll be fine! Add more of your cinnamon or brown sugar or whatever until you like the taste.

Angel: HA!!! That's what she said!!!

Charlie: ......I'm worried about you, Dad.

Lucifer: Now that we have our evenly coated oats, we're going to make our apple mixture! But, apples are EXPENSIVE!!! And taking the time to cut and peel and core them is exhausting enough without having to fry or bake them in MORE butter and whatever.

Charlie: *burps uncomfortably* You mean... there could be MORE butter???

Niffty: YAY!!! BRING ON THE CHOLESTEROL!!!

Lucifer: So! We're going to take the easy way out! Apples may be expensive, but you know what isn't? APPLE PIE FILLING AND CANNED FRIED APPLES!!! *pulls out two cans of pie filling and two cans of fried apples before grabbing a can opener and popping open each can with a satisfying TSSSHHHHHHH!!!*

Alastor: *wendigo screeches in the distance* WHO IS DESACRATING THE HOLY SANCTITY THAT IS FRIED APPLES?!?!

Lucifer: SHUT IT, BELHOP!!! Anyway! Put the apple pie filling in the bottom of a 9x13 inch pan, or standard cake baking pan, then drain all the liquid out of the fried apples. *holds the tops of the cans closed as he drains the juice into the sink with a wet SCHLURP!!!*

Vaggie: ....Ew......

Lucifer: Might have to jiggle them a little bit to get all the juice out. *shakes the cans into the sink and a more rated-R sound fills the air*

Angel: Ha! No wonder why you call this the bachelor's baking! That sounds like-

Charlie: *covers her ears and groans* UuuUuUUUuuuuuUuUUuggghhh.....

Vaggie: *helps cover Charlie's ears* Lucifer, what the fuck?

Lucifer: Aaaaaaaannnnd!!! Dump into the pan! Now that we have the two types of apples in, we're going to take a page out of Carmilla Carmine's book and add a little love!

Charlie: Oh! Baking with love! That sounds nice!

Lucifer: *adds a little more cinnamon and vanilla to the mix before slapping his bare hand into the mix and swirling everything around with a slightly deranged look on his face*

Angel: .........Char.... I think your dad needs to get laid....

Vaggie: ......No amount of therapy will ever make this okay.....

Charlie: *dry heaving into the trash can*

*BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!! We are experiencing some technical difficulties. We apologize for the inconvenience. BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!*

Lucifer: *standing with a freshly baked apple crisp on the counter and his hair in disarray* And THAT is how you make a poor man's apple crisp!

Hazbins: *shock and disgust*

[carefulignorantghost]

He definitely saw people doing something in the crowd😭

[treepan0]

still weirdly unsettling for some reason, think that's the point though.

[the-travelling-witch]

i am positively unwell

also sugulite looks like an asshole, meaning i like him immediately /silly

[anachronistic-falsehood]

bro is going through the five stages of grief