#someone elses rehearsal
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Besides the intense drinking culture of both the Gallaghers and the general south side, the addiction gene from his parents you can never escape. A major, the near sole contributing factor of lips alcoholism is from college. He is almost entirely isolated. He is a first generation college student (high school was easy, it was nothing. He’s never done this before.) He’s from a “low income family”. Everyone else grew up “comfortably” (read: rich). He doesn’t know anyone and doesn’t have a way to connect, it’s near impossible when you’re different, you have these fundamentally different backgrounds and childhood experiences. But parties? Drinking? That’s what he can do, what everyone can do. And so he does. And then he just doesn’t stop. Why would he? It’s normal, it’s comfortable, it’s connecting, everyone loves a good party, that he can do. It feels like the only thing he knows.
#I don’t know how to end this. I just.#Idek if this makes sense !!#I think abt him a lot ok !!#he did not have the luxury of Instagram to connect him. I start college this fall. I’ve met 30-40 people alone and I’ve only visited campus#three times now. once for an interview. every year someone makes an Instagram page to post bios to meet people.#you end up following everyone from that. I just.#do you get what I mean.#god I need a smoke#I have something else I’m writing too I just.#losing it !!#I might come back to this later. with more thoughts.#I don’t wanna say he’s misunderstood but well. I don’t think everyone’s been the token smart kid. doing everything your siblinfs your#parents never could do. never wanted to do.#do you know how frustrating it is to be friends with people who grew up in different tax brackets than you?#I think lip was placed in gifted and talented programs and no one ever told him.#some I knew some I didn’t find out about until I graduated during rehearsal you get a bunch of documents and your record
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Life is.. a lot right now
#my sister is getting married literally next week and i keep having to remind people of their jobs for setup#i ended up just putting myself in charge of flowers because every time i asked someone what the plan was they had a different answer#i put my mom up to make the reservation for the rehearsal dinner TWO MONTHS AGO and yesterday she called me asking who to contact#and like. i am not good with details either. but i have to be#because everyone else in my fucking family dreams up vibes and then throws a hissy fit when the world doesnt catch up to their expectations#not to mention that my dickhead qanon brother has rsvpd which means i will have to interact with him directly for the first time in 5 years#and his nightmare trumpie wife who once made my mom cry#i am crumpling under the stress. kcfh analysis is my lifeline right now#personal
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when a woman does something stupidly tender to me and i am haunted by gay thoughts for her for about 3 years
#this is from october and the context was not very interesting i promise#something that came out during rehearsal time.#but like i was prob yearning for someone else when writing this lmaooo#lesbian#wlw#sapphic#boludeces y reclamos mios(?
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trying harder to pay attention to yellows dialogue so i can write him better and. literally. love that thing he does where he talks like hes in a sitcom
( “What do you think it means to have a job?” / ”Yeah, what an adventure. Yup,we really did have the laugh of our lives. But still, nice to be back at home,eh?”/ “Let’s go see this real family in action!” )
#like it feels like lines from an 80s sitcom or smth#it reminds me that hes the one whos the most equipped socially out of the group and that a lot of that comes from what SOUND like#rehearsed lines that are just echos from what he hears from someone else#like the best example of that is the job episode#where hes able to mesh in the best among other people because he just repeats jokes and phrases#same thing happens in the family episode lol#and its like thats all well and good for how he initially comes off to people but i think if anyone were to stick around him long enough#theyd get annoyed either with that or him#i think we really see that with how warren gets around his brain friends#theyre very polite at first then he quickly gets so frustrated he starts yelling at them#but i do like how he seems the most socially competent but its clearly like. in a very surface level way#as opposed to duck who actively pushes new people away with his abrasiveness and red who does it accidentally lol#my dhmis postings#ANYWAYS HES GOT VERY FAMILY TV SHOW LINES AND I LOVE IT
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istg if they don't bring back milo for chandler's trio night performance i'm going to scream
#i don't even watch dwts like that but still#i've only ever watched milo's performances a couple of zendaya's some of normani's and most of the junior dwts ones#but that was all on youtube i've never watched a full episode#and i'm not gonna start i'll probably just skim the ep for chandler or wait for someone to upload all of her footage#like i loved milo and ryker's (and whitney's) trio dance and i just want to see milo dance again#obviously take this very lightly because milo might be busy or they might just pick someone else#but it would just be very nice if it happened#that's all i'm saying#chandler kinney#milo manheim#dwts#dwts 33#dancing with the stars#EDIT: he's literally doing american idiot he does NOT have the time to be doing dwts rehearsals
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nobody ever talks about how disability can be embarrassing as fuck
#<3#my tremor and pain got so bad this rehearsal that i had to leave backstage and cry in the off room for a bit#and then when we were all collecting our stuff to leave you could tell i had cried and.#everybody was looking at me and asking if i was okay and i couldn’t do up my bag zipper#and someone had to do it for me#it was just. man idk#no one was mean or anything but like no one else is out here crying about their hands
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man ever since i became sicker and my heat intolerance skyrocketed im like. jealous of most other people for whom heat is merely uncomfortable and not actively dangerous. and because i have horrible emotional permanence i dont even remember what that's like.
i used to LIKE the heat. i used to work outside all summer in 90°F+ 90%+ humidity and i was FINE. what????? now i cant even be outside in 80°F for 2 mins without feeling two seconds from passing out
#carter speaks#shitty body diaries#it's so bad y'all#at rehearsal last night i almost passed out#and someone in my section DID pass out#meanwhile everyone else was just casually like 'man its hot as balls!' but it wasnt hot enough to actually be dangerous to them.
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why did dan just text me the program of a concert happening tomorrow evening
#sasha speaks#no accompanying explanation or anything. just the program#was this supposed to go to someone else...?#i (we) have our own rehearsal the same time as this idk what i'm supposed to do with this information#thanks i suppose#it looks like a cool concert sure but it's not like i can go lol
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production managers when they remember it's their job to reach out to venues and coordinate emails.......
#i keep going surely someone else will figure out a better rehearsal space#no they won't dawg that's literally ur job#ted talks
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no feeling worse than hearing there might be another group chat that you're not in
#current situation is unconfirmed#like there was a message saying to someone else ''go to the other chat'' and like that could mean anything#but anyway now i'm paranoid my band are cheating on me with another bassist#which would make sense bc now uni's done i live the furthest away and can't come to as many rehearsals and it's inconvenient#so maybe they are secretly looking for another bassist#but also how do i ask that#bc if it's true then it'll be awkward and if it's not then i'll just seem really irrational#so idk what the other chat is but hopefully it's something unrelated#maybe they're not full on replacing me but it probably is a group chat of just the 4 of them#maybe with other people in it#i know they have a discord server that i'm not in. even though they've mentioned it but idek#i'll find out whatever's going on at the next gig which is in a few weeks but i can't be bothered to wait that long#ramble
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I honestly wish my birthday wasn't in 2 weeks. I always get really depressed around my birthday.
#october 23rd everybody mark your calendars!#it's a monday and I have sweeney todd rehearsal that night so I probably won't even get to have my birthday on my birthday#I'm gonna be 24 years old it really shouldn't matter so much to me anymore but it does#but I'm not a kid anymore. my birthday isn't special to anyone but me anymore. to everyone else it's just another day.#well it's all I've got it's the only time I ever feel seen and like people care enough to pay even the slightest attention to me#i just recently realized that receiving gifts is a love language for me too and i honestly hate that i feel like such an asshole#it feels worse because I haven't been able to get even a shitty job since i graduated college and my family is fucking broke too#so when my sister said she already had my birthday present my mom just jokingly says 'at least someone's getting you something' !#i seriously almost started crying when she said that. i did not find that funny at all. she said the exact same thing about christmas#which i feel the same way about. I've just been having a horrible last like 2 years and now it's almost my birthday again and I'm still#exactly where I was last year. I'm trying so hard and I just can't make any progress.#I'm stuck and it just feels like there's nothing I can do about it at this point.#anyway sorry to be such a downer I'm gonna at least try to go to sleep#abby's self deprication hour#abby's insomia thoughts
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"Ed Iskandar talked with God. Then it was Lucifer’s turn. Now he was addressing Adam and Eve.
[...]
Right now, Iskandar was rehearsing the plays from Act I, including Madeleine George’s 10-minute piece about the Fall of Man, which she gives the elaborate title, “A Worm Walks Into A Garden or The Fall of Man, an experiment in motive and comedy.” In it, Lucifer tells dumb jokes to Adam and Eve, as a way of seducing them. Adam finds them funny. Eve doesn’t.
“You’re missing a crucial part of your anatomy,” Lucifer says to Eve. “The funnybone.”
Lucifer is being played by Asia Kate Dillon.
[...]
Dillon was writhing and entwining themself around Eve. Suddenly Chase Brock, the show’s choreographer, got down on the floor and started to writhe on the floor along with Lucifer. Brock had researched the earthworm, and showed some pictures of earthworms to Dillon on his laptop to suggest other moves they could make."
"50 different plays by almost as many different playwrights is a massive undertaking in which each vignette varies in tone from the one before it. The actors playing the characters do not change from play to play; this forces the performers to be as comfortable and convincing with farce as they are playing tragedy. It is also fascinating to contemplate the mental and emotional gymnastics that each performer of The Bats (the resident acting company of The Flea) must have undergone to ensure that each character maintains the same internal psychological throughline when they appear in different plays by very different authors.
The first act deals with the Old Testament books and the Nativity. In playwright Dale Orlandersmith’s Song of the Trimorph, the angels in Heaven mindlessly worship God (a deliciously petty, yet shrewdly authoritative Matthew Jeffers), who takes it as His due until Lucifer (Asia Kate Dillon) starts to question whether love without choice means anything.
Dillon’s beautifully delicate, white-haired devil is one of the show’s most complex figures. Watching them evolve from nuanced philosopher to diabolical heavy to world-weary cynic, depending on the vignette, is fascinating. The narrative speeds its way through the Bible. Highlights include Madeleine George’s surprisingly feminist take on the Adam and Eve story; Hwang’s marvelously urgent Cain and Abel tale, which posits the first murder as a story of vengeance against a capricious God; and Mallery Avidon’s whimsically horrifying tale of Noah’s Flood, which also entails the deaths of everyone who didn’t make it aboard the Ark.
[...]
The show’s second section deals with the Life of Jesus, with Colin Waitt’s astonishingly variegated boy-next-door Jesus shifting from an idealistic dreamer as he travels with Mary and Joseph to a forceful, almost angry philosopher when he argues with Lucifer about the nature of love to a bratty dolt when he confronts Gabriel about his inevitable fate. The fact that the playwrights clearly have a different idea of Jesus’s personality sets Wiatt a complex task: He has to make his Christ the same in all situations; whether he’s being comic or tragic, Wiatt is convincing and moving in a performance of stunning versatility.
Indeed, his likable turns in Gabriel Jason Dean’s beautiful Christ Enters Jerusalem makes his ferocious agonies in Qui Nguyen’s Christ Before Herod and his subsequent crucifixion all the more heartrending. The third act deals with Christ’s resurrection and humanity’s fate at the Day of Judgment, and includes a series of plays set in modern times, as well as God’s final words to Lucifer, Jesus, and to us. The show’s final Day of Judgment coda by Jose Rivera is an essay of forgiveness and unexpected love."
"Overall, the point of view of The Mysteries leans toward deism, the Enlightenment philosophy that presents God as a kind of clockmaker who created the universe, then left it alone to run according to its own laws. We see God squabbling with, then abandoning, Lucifer, setting in motion the events of the Bible, but even in Eden he is surprisingly enigmatic.
[...]
And, as one of the thieves killed with Jesus prophesies, it may all be for naught; he conjures up a future in which "the religion founded -- haha --upon your existence will be held up to justify the slaughter of millions over hundreds and thousands of years, for the brutal sins of domination and exploitation, the lynchings, the massacres and genocide, the relentless militarism. Everything you stood for will be erased."
[...]
In any case, the company is an almost constant joy. Among the more striking performances, [...] Asia Kate Dillon is a compelling presence as Lucifer."
"Four dozen playwrights take four dozen spiritual positions, which allows bubbles of radical reimagining to emerge only to sink again beneath the waves. For instance, our very first playwright, Dael Orlandersmith, paints Lucifer (Asia Kate Dillon) as a sweetheart Cordelia type refusing to curry favor with an insecure God (Matthew Jeffers). The fallen Light bringer keeps popping up throughout, and yet while Lucifer makes a number of solid points—many vigorously antichurch—they're still costumed as a blood-smeared reptile. Does evil exist? Or does it only exist when it can dress super cool?"
"It begins with a scene in heaven where we meet the lavish Angel Chorus that will be with us for the duration of the play, and witness Lucifer’s expulsion from heaven, something like in Milton’s Paradise Lost.
[...]
We also meet the rebellious Lucifer in that first scene in heaven, played with dazzling cynicism by Asia Kate Dillon, and at the same time the angel Gabriel, played by Alice Allemano, who, obedient to God, in contrast to Lucifer, struggles valiantly trying to make sense out of God’s commands and following through on them. These two, Lucifer and Gabriel, played by tall, striking people, fine actors who resemble one another, hold the vast array together like bookends.
The scenes in the Garden of Eden are delightful, played, appropriately in the nude, by Jaspal Binning as Adam and Alesandra Nahodil as Eve. Throughout the play, Biblical episodes are interpreted by the many playwrights in non-canonical ways and the first of these is brilliant: the knowledge the first couple gain through their disobedient eating of the apple is — how to tell a good joke and how to enjoy one!"
"Act I – The Fall begins with Creation and Lucifer’s fall from grace with God. Lucifer is played by a steady, radiant Asia Kate Dillon who reappears frequently to mix things up with earthlings and the rival angel, Gabriel, played by Alice Allemano makes goodness alluring. God is played by an extremely patient and multi-dimensional Matthew Jeffers whose sense of humor humanizes the Lord."
"As starting points, Dael Orlandersmith’s “Song of the Trimorph (Lucifer’s Lament)” and Liz Duffy Adams’s “Falling for You” are somewhat too abstract, particularly “Falling for You,” which has Lucifer wonder, “How can there be love in the absence of being?”"
"Starting with the Fall, we are introduced to the Angel Gabriel and the fallen angel Lucifer, played by two equally lissome and brilliant young actors, Alice Allemano and Asia Kate Dillon. They compete for God’s affections by using a chorus of singing punk angels."
"Asia Dillon as Lucifer brought the precise mixture of demonic delight and fragility necessary for such an adaptation: watching their performance was like looking at a raw cut in the bowels of the earth, brimming with fire and unimaginable sadness."
(no relevant quotes, but throwing in a brief pdf of a grantee project report that focuses on Engagement)
#edited out inaccurate misgenderings in favor of ''not tiresome'' over ''the Historical letter accuracy of the sources''#which are all right there to peruse as originally written too; so#lucifer isn't evil??? 0 stars. long play too long. ''not that enthused'' reviews are always Worse Quality for limiting the info & taking up#plenty of space with [what info Is given is dedicated to supposedly bolstering some specific ''didn't like that'' view of the author's]#just the kind of stuff that'd annoy me as i hate read movie reviews for things i didn't see in the newspaper at like age 12 metacritically#and that of course [just one person] as the norm whether for ''formal'' reviews or not; liking it or not....not the ideal format.#the emergent info or reflections on the same elements / effects of the material that comes from Various writeups by ppl? mwah.#and of course many include fun little Details / noting something that others don't. it comes with lore#the mysteries#asia kate dillon#lucifer the mysteries#lucifer mysteries#gospel48#unfortunately 2/3rds of the quoted articles on chase brock's page for the mysteries aren't online. cmon....#i feel like there might be one article i found the other night that didn't crop up in this search....might be conflating tweets or smthing#can just update it if so anyways....also again No Idea what the longer brown hair vs shorter ''white'' / blond hair is about lol#it kept being extended & that article i think was written in later months; maybe they cut it partway through#more plausible anyways than that they grew their hair out that hard in just a few months. that they also had during rehearsals. shrug#yeah just revisited my History and no other articles that i found last night (morning); none relevant re: akd lucifer mentions anyways lol#also that that was dialogue akd was delivering as lucifer during the crucifixion...was it given to someone else? is lucifer (probably)#taking the place of one of the fellow crucifees & delivering it; and the author focused on who they're standing in for?
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I think I caused my friend some psychological trauma. Today at the rehearsal she decided to joke around and asked about ten people to jump. They all either jumped or looked at her dumb. Before she finally found me.
I heard her say "She's pretty light" and when she asked me SHE TURNED HER BACK ON ME. I LITERALLY JUMPED AT HER, THINKING IM GETTING A PIGGY-RIDE
Needless to say, she didn't expect that. We both fell on the ground, she was on top of me. I couldn't stop laughing after we got up
#everyone else who saw it also laughed#she was SHOCKED when i told her i wasnt hurt#she was worried too and kept asking throughout the rehearsal#people who saw told about to someone else and they also came up to me to ask if i was okay#i couldnt stop giggling the whole time#ghosty has something to say
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just uploaded my thesis!!!! yeehaw your girl is one defense away from mastering biology
#im having very conflicting emotions right now#one is that i am happy ive did it#second one is being sad that my studies are once again over and the scary life awaits me#third is being sad that i have no one who cares about my academic life and i cant celebrate with anyone#fourth is being happy im going to have!!! a degree!!!1#so its like net zero feeling the world is just as bland as it was#oh and also#nervous! what if i accidentally wrote paragraphs of paragraphs just exactly like someone else and its plagiarism? (literally impossible)#but also a bit nervous about my presentation (its ready. ive made it. i just have to rehearse it so it fits in 10mins)#aaaaaaaaaaaaa
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so they just cut the band from our show the day before opening wtf
#it’s so shit#we were joking about it last night at rehearsals#but none of us really thought they’d do it#and now here we are#and i know it’s not realistically a part of the discussion but we’re all young female/nb players and that literally NEVER happens music#theatre pits are always male dominated the best split ive had is like maybe 30% not men and so it feels worse because it was such a nice#group and felt like such an important thing happening even though it was just this little small thing i just idk it sucks man#and my first proper gig on kit too and i know it wasn’t cause im bad at playing but i also know in myself that that wasn’t my best work last#night because im still learning but i know that the whole time in the back of my mind there’s been this like someone else deserves this seat#someone else could play it better thing just on loop and like i practiced for hours everyday for almost two months and now we’re cut the#night before and it just plain sucks
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Had to reschedule my online interview and now I’m nervous lol
#so my friend is in court on friday and she wants me to come with. i was like fine. the hearing is friday morning; my interview is in the#afternoon. should be fine right? and then i looked up how long a trial can take#5-6 HOURS???????????#so i rescheduled which was a very simple process but they wanted me to put a reason for rescheduling in the box#i now feel like i should’ve just put ‘illness’ lol.. like rescheduling 2 days before with a prior commitment makes me seem like i don’t have#my shit together#if they ask me about it during the interview i’ll just say i had a commitment that morning and i found out it was going to take#significantly more of my time than previously believed; and i didn’t want to risk being late to my interview or missing it#and if they ask what it was ‘i can’t discuss that as i’d be breaking someone else’s confidentiality’#probably not true but ‘my friend was in court’ invites questions i don’t want to answer#i feel so much better knowing i don’t have to do these two things in one day tbh. like even when i thought the hearing would only take#an hour or so (and maybe it could? who knows) i didn’t feel great about not having the day to prepare for my interview#i like to print out all the information; go through it; rehearse some questions; drink a nice cup of tea; meditate; panic….#having the weekend to relax and then most of monday to prep is. so nice#i’ll probably go into work on sunday to get my mind off it lol. just for a change#personal
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