#anyway i have one friend that i do stuff outside of class and rehearsal with

[halfdeadwallfly]

dining hall energy is so fucked

[animehouse-moe]

Skip and Loafer Episode 10: Scrambling and Dripping

Well, with The Sound of Music as the background, we finally begin to explore Shima's character in proper. Flashbacks to childhood, repressed feelings and thoughts, and resolutions and progression that drives his current self forward. There's certainly a lot going on, and a lot to share!

We start the episode off with Chris himself laying into Shima for his issues, which I thought was a nice touch. Without his friend, Shima probably wouldn't have made the progress he did this episode, nor would he have opened up near as much to his friends.

But before that I just wanted to muse over this layout. I thought it was really fun and cute at expressing the differences between Shima and Chris. It does so through stuff like the ice cream vs drink, but also the differences in their posture, the style of their uniform, and even their bags. I just thought it was interesting and a fun little piece to add that gives Chris his own personality.

Anyways, the line in question from Chris. I particularly like how he phrases it in terms of acting, almost to rub a bit more salt in the wound of Shima in regards to the issue.

Following up their diner conversation though is one that happens outdoors, which I find far more interesting. I really like how they show Chris to not be some perfect friend that has all the right words for Shima, but rather that he stumbles around and has thoughts that exist from his own point of view, like this one. It's not so much as he's confusing Shima's experience as a child actor, but that he sees it from a different perspective. Shima was also so happy and excited to be able to put that smile on his mother's face, and Chris picks up on that enjoyment from a different angle than the chains that Shima imposes on himself.

And then there's whatever this was. Absolutely caught me off guard and got a laugh out of me. The perfect ending to a chat between blossoming high school boys for sure.

We swiftly move from Shima and Chris' conversation to a montage of the prep for the festival, and while it's pretty well typical with what you'd expect, I liked this one little moment. All the other groups featured are chatting or saying something when they're on screen, but the pair that are in charge of the budget are totally silent. Really simple piece, but I got a good little laugh of it.

The montage wraps up just as quick as it comes in, and we get whisked away to the world of The Sound of Music for an explanation of the plot. Not really anything to write home about, but I really liked the art style they used for it. It's still in tune with the overall color and character designs and stuff, but provides just the right amount of artistic edge to separate it.

Anyways, they explain the story, they do a little musical piece as an example for viewers, and then they press onwards. I really like how they follow the camaraderie and excitement shared by the rehearsal with Mitsumi's isolation behind the scenes. The other students are smiling and working together, while Mitsumi stands idly in the background. She herself even wishes to be a part of what her class is doing this year, which creates a bittersweet yearning for her inclusion.

Now, I did say this was an episode about Shima, but here I am talking about Mitsumi? Well, that's because it's important in regards to how Shima reflects on a flashback that follows Mitsumi's scene here. I think it's a really important flashback in how things are shown, because through it all, we only ever see the smiles on Shima and his mother's faces. Every other emotion from anybody in that scene is otherwise hidden, and tells viewers a different story than what it is exactly that Shima experiences and feels when reliving that moment.

The flashback comes and goes, and so does Mitsumi in a whirlwind of outside of school work. She ends up missing her morning meeting, which the people involved assure her they're not worried about in the slightest.

But this is high school, and these kids don't know better.

I think it's a really great piece for both ends. The important message of course being, you never know how hard someone's trying. These two girls who are only in charge of the play, have no idea of the weight that Mitsumi carries around for their sake. And rather than hash out their concern or challenges (or just be more accepting) they choose to talk about her after the fact.

It's not bullying, but it's one of those pieces of high school life where people that haven't given anything up don't understand what others have done. Sympathy runs dry with those types of characters, and it's plain to see how here. It's not that they're being terrible towards Mitsumi because she missed their meeting, but they're talking poorly of her because of things that they don't understand. It's a very naïve thought to have, and drives home the selfishness of characters like that in a very straightforward way.

We don't dwell on this moment for long though, as Shima once more uses Mitsumi as his crutch for introspection. Seeing himself in her reflection, in his perceived fragility of Mitsumi, he begins to explore himself more and more. And through the flashback this time, we begin to piece things together more and more.

Shima doesn't particularly like acting, we know that as a "truth" from present Shima. But his mother doesn't see it like that. The pair form a positive feedback loop, where Shima's acting is meant to make his mother happy, and his mother's smile and love is what spurs Shima on to continue with acting. This time, we see that they're not wearing those smiles on their faces, but Shima's not currently acting. Once he does though, that light returns to the pair of them.

In contrast to this happy memory of acting bringing Shima and his mother joy, he moves onto placing himself in the shoes of his role in The Sound of Music, the gardener Johan. While not anything new or really exceptional from Shima at this point in the series, I think it's an important piece in how he views himself and the world he exists in. That his happiness is not his own, and that the only pieces of himself that are truly him are the negative aspects.

Even though he buys Mitsumi a drink and chats with her to lighten her mood. Even if he dances with her to get a laugh out of her. Even if he chooses to be in the play because his friends ask him to. Shima is incredibly adept at ignoring those positive aspects of himself, and instead places them on Mitsumi, atop a pedestal that remains far away from his reach.

But I'll explain that in a bit, look at this incredibly cute clip.

Alright, cute song and dance finished, back to what I was saying. What a hugely important even to follow up this little sequence. Once more, we find ourselves in that pathway/outdoor hallway from an earlier episode, but with the roles reversed. This time, it's not Shima leaving Mitsumi behind, but it's Mitsumi leading the way for Shima. Such an important piece of symbolism and progression for him. He's not hiding a "secret" or being a shallow friend to Mitsumi. He's bearing his heart to this girl, and in turn Mitsumi is guiding Shima towards his happiness and the acceptance of himself and his past. That pedestal still exists, but even if it's only ever so slightly, Shima feels like he's gotten closer to reaching Mitsumi.

And then there's this piece as well, if that visual wasn't enough.

And this is where the episode leaves us, as the students work tirelessly to bring their ambitions towards reality. It's a really great piece that doesn't neglect the great world around Shima, but also doesn't try too hard to represent it. This is his episode, and they want us to know that. They want us to focus on the childhood memories and trauma that chains him within, of the guilt and repression and justification he uses to exist how he does currently.

But they also want to show us how far he's come. How much he cares for another person, how much he wants to be happy and have the life that he wants. That he wants to work towards standing alongside Mitsumi, rather than leaving her behind or forcing her to guide him. It's just really really well done, and delivers on the storyline we've had since day 1. It's not finished yet, not by a mile, but we're getting progress and getting to see Shima start to want to grow.

[garbagevanfleet]

Brightest Blue (series)

PART TWELVE

Pairing: Josh x reader Warnings: THIS CHAPTER IS 18+! Explicit sexual content Summary:  Things are changing. New state. New school. New roommate. You just pray things are going to click into place.

Notes: ahh, sweet resolution. Writing this chapter made me euphorically happy. Thank you for reading! Extra thank you for liking, reblogging, or replying to this fic. I’m so happy people like it as much as I do. 

taglist: @valleyd0ll​ @satingrass-maidensfair​ @guitarfingers​ @thebohemianpenguin​ @peaceisouranthem​ @oblvions​ @hansonobsessed​ @myownparadise96​ @anditsmywholeheart​ @kill-fear-the-power-of-lies​ @bigblack-catattack​

MASTERPOST

The final week before the play was an oddly enjoyable hell. Every second felt like it flew by and dragged on for eternity simultaneously. 

You had skipped class on Thursday, just to make sure you had every costume just the way you wanted it. Your very favorite one to work on had been Alice’s dress - you put more work into it than most of your classes for the past couple of weeks, but by the time it was done, it could have been in a storybook. 

As it hung from your closet door, you took a moment to be proud of yourself, admiring the lace and the neat trimmings. 

Kate showed up around 5, and somehow you knew she would, even though she never mentioned a thing when you told her you were staying home. 

“Hi, you,” she greeted, letting herself in as she slipped past you. “Did you get it all done?”

“Well, if I had another week, I’m sure I could find more that I could work on with them, but they’re pretty great,” you agreed. “You want a glass of wine?” 

She shook her head at you. “Actually, I’m taking you shopping tonight.”

“Shopping?” 

“Yeah, have you thought about what you’re going to wear to the play?” she inquired, sounding smug like she knew you really hadn’t.

You frowned at her, unsure. “I was thinking probably something simple.”

She rolled her eyes. “No, it should be something classy, pretty,” she said. 

“And warm,” you reminded, thinking of the snow outside. 

“Sure, sure, yeah. So, are you coming?”

You gave her a sweet smile. “Let me get my coat.”

+++

“I don’t think I can wear this,” you said through a grimace as you turned this way and then that in the mirror. Kate had let herself right into the dressing room with you, her long legs taking up more space than you could afford in such a small room. “My whole vagina would freeze.”

“It’s not that short,” she giggled.

“Yeah, but it’s just an open dress. My legs are exposed!” 

“True, maybe you could wear leggings under it,” she suggested. 

“If I were going to wear leggings, I’d want a longer dress I think. Maybe something mid-calf. Then I could wear booties.”

She looked like she was considering it for a moment before nodding. “Yes, that seems like it would be super cute. What about your hair?”

“How about we find the dress first and go from there,” you teased. 

Once you were dressed again and had everything hung back on the “reject” rack, you ventured out into the store again, weaving through mannequins and lines of garments. You went to grab a hanger when you snapped your hand back in pain. 

“Damn,” you hissed. She turned to give you a concerned look. “My fingers are so sore from sewing. I’m kind of thinking they might never recover.”

You were joking, but she gave you a sympathetic look anyway. “You know this play is just as much yours as it is his, right?” 

You huffed a laugh. “Oh my god, that’s so dramatic.”

“Well, pretty damn close,” she objected, pulling a dress from the rack in front of her and laying it over her forearm. “His ass would have been grass without you.”

“We can thank Rachel for that,” you quipped, chronically annoyed by the thought of her. 

She paused what she was doing and met your eyes. “Did you figure out why she quit?”

You gave her a confused frown. Now that you were thinking about it, Josh never did tell you why. You shook your head. “Why?”

“Well, it sounds like she kinda had a thing for Josh. Like a big thing. And that’s why she signed up to work with him in the first place.”

You nodded for her to continue, your stomach feeling tight. 

“And I guess it went okay for a little while - he seemed receptive to it apparently, but she found out he had a female roommate and saw you guys eating lunch together all of the time, you know?” Kate continued carefully. 

You hummed, trying to seem casual, but you felt a little like you’d just been sucker-punched. 

“How did you hear about this?” 

“Grapevine,” she replied with a smile. “What do you think of this one?” 

She was stroking her fingers down a long dress, black with flowers in muted colors. “That would go really well with my coat actually. We have to accept the reality that I’m going to have to wear a coat the whole time.”

She smiled at you in an oddly genuine way for her. “I know you didn’t ask for my advice, but you should go for it.”

You gave her a confused look. “I have to try it on first.”

She put a hand flat on your chest. “Not the dress, you goober. Josh.”

You stared blankly at the ground until you were sure of what you wanted to say. “I don’t want to fuck this up. I can’t lose him as a friend - I’d be devastated.” 

“Why would you think you’d fuck it up? I don’t know that you could, to be honest.” You watched as she grabbed a pair of earrings, dangling off of their cardboard hanger. She started back off toward the dressing room, and you followed close behind.  

“We’ll have to wait and see what happens.”

+++

You helped Josh get all of the costumes to the school on Friday, hanging them up on racks backstage. You took the time to make them all tags, writing the kid’s names in fancy, flowing script. 

Josh was working on getting the first set perfectly into place, so everything was ready to go for showtime the next day. Despite how clearly nervous he was, you could hear him handing out compliments and words of encouragement to the stagehands - even his constructive advice was said in a way that felt like every person in that room was his best friend. 

He had left you mostly alone to get the wardrobe ready, but when he popped back into your area, he crouched down next to where you were sat on the floor. 

“I probably won’t be home until late again tonight,” he informed with a half-frown. “There’s a lot I still have to get into place.”

You gave him an understanding smile. “Don’t worry about me, worry about you. You need a good night’s sleep for tomorrow.”

“I know,” he replied, looking thankful. “Show me some of these costumes.”

You had been oddly flattered that he had trusted you enough to have them done - and done well - by the time of the play; he hadn’t asked to see them even once until right then. 

“You can look through them, but they won’t look right until they’re on a child.”

His face lit up like that was the best news of the day. “That’s perfect because the kids should be here for dress rehearsal in about ten minutes.”

You smiled at him as he stood and helped you up with two outstretched hands. 

He ran his hands over the rack, pausing on the one you knew he would. With a perplexed look, he pulled the door mouse costume and held it up. 

“This is-” he started, but you cut him off. 

“I know, I really hope it’s okay, but I found a sheet in your room with some rough designs on it, and I really liked a lot of them,” you admitted sheepishly. 

“You were going through my stuff?” he asked with a grin.

You shook your head. “Just that. And it was when I went in to get Penny.”

His fingers slid down the tail of the costume, made from a string of peach-hued rope - just like his draft had called for. His brown eyes flicked up at you, looking like melted chocolate under the warm-colored lights. “I literally don’t know how I’ll ever be able to thank you for this.”

You could feel a blush rising on your cheeks, the sensation of flower petals brushing your stomach lining. “Let’s make it through the show without them falling to pieces first.” Your tone had been a teasing one, but he looked completely unaffected. 

The intensity of the moment was slowly creeping up on you - you weren’t sure if he was going to kiss you or cry. In the end, he did neither. 

“Do you want to stick around to see the kids in their outfits?” he offered, but you shook your head. 

“I’m actually really excited to see it all for the first time tomorrow,” you replied with a smile that was immediately matched by his. 

“Alright, I like that idea.” He paused a moment before speaking again. “Don’t wait up for me, okay?”

You chuckled at him, pulling your jacket on to leave. “No promises.”

+++

That evening you spent a long time in the bathtub with a bottle of wine. You had homework to do - and you tried for a couple of hours, but you just couldn’t be fucked with it, so you turned the water up as hot as it would go and rested your head on a rolled-up towel.

You felt silly about it now, but you were scared that once this was over, you would feel lost without the costumes to worry about. That moment never came for you - at least not with the costumes. 

You definitely couldn’t stop thinking about Josh.

There was this terrible feeling in the pit of your gut - a guilt, heavy like you swallowed a pile of gravel.

When you got out, you haphazardly dried off and left the wet towel on the bathroom floor. You got changed into a long-sleeved shirt and your pajama shorts and then grabbed what was left of your wine and made your way to Josh’s room. After you laid out on his bed, you rolled over onto your side and stared into the fish tank, pressing your fingers against the glass. 

Penny had been snoozing in her log decoration, but when she spotted you, she hurried out to greet your hand.

“I fucked up, Penny,” you whispered. You imagined she was making an angry face at you, but in reality, she was just floating there, probably wondering where her dinner was.

You glanced at the time on your phone. 

8:32 pm

You grabbed the little jar of flakes off of his bedside table and strained to drop a couple into the water. She gobbled them up excitedly, her safety-orange colored fins waving in the water. 

You had no idea when it happened, but you woke up to the dresser drawer by your head opening. You sat up, irregular heartbeat making you feel jittery.  

Josh turned to look at you, a warm smile on his lips, the sun illuminating his tan face. “Hey,” he greeted. 

“Oh my god, it’s light outside. What time is it?” you asked groggily.

“About 8:30. I got home at midnight and you were passed out in here, so I covered you up,” he informed, making your face run warm.

You pushed your messy hair away from your face. “I’m sorry, I was laying in here with Penny and I must have fallen asleep.” You glanced around in confusion. “I didn’t even feel you get out of bed.”

“Oh, I slept on the couch,” he replied, picking a pair of pants from his top drawer. 

You frowned, casting your eyes down to the bedsheets. He thought you didn’t want to sleep next to him, and instead of waking you up to move you, he slept out on the couch. The idea made you want to cry.

“Will you sit with me a moment?” you asked, patting the spot next to you. 

He gave you an apologetic smile. “I really want to, but I need to be over to the school in twenty minutes. I am planning on being back here around 4 to eat something quick and then get ready.”

“Okay.” You clambered out of bed as he pulled his shirt off and changed into a new one. “I think I’ll probably already be at Kate’s, but if you want to take my car you can.”

He shot you a smirk. “Really? You’re going to let me drive?”

You crossed your arms over your chest, putting on your best mom voice. “Yes, but only if you promise to be very safe.”

He put his hand over his heart. “I promise.”

“I’ll see you after the show,” you said, maybe a little too sweetly, and brushed a curl out of his eyes. It was well worth it to see the tops of his cheeks turn pink. 

+++

As Kate took you both to the theater, you couldn’t kick the nervous butterflies. She looked beautiful - you’d never seen her in anything but mom jeans, but she was dressed in a plaid skirt, tights, and a black turtleneck sweater. She had insisted on doing your makeup - sitting you down at her vanity and pulling a barstool close enough she could reach you. You had known better than to complain about the amount of time she took - besides, you had gotten over to her house so early, you had nothing but time. When she was done, you barely recognized yourself. Somehow she had made your eyes look bigger, your lashes longer and darker, and your face sharper. You were used to wearing foundation and concealer, but your face felt almost a little heavy under all she’d put on you. 

She had laid out a few extra things for you - a pair of boots and a set of green gem earrings and you gave her a thankful smile as you donned them. The truly hard part was resisting hugging her very affectionate polar bear - which was actually a dog, she informed you. You had tried once, but she scolded you, reminding you that white fur didn’t look good on black fabric.

You had whispered a promise to him that you would be back soon to give him all the love he could handle.

When she pulled up to the school, she had you get out at the doors and grab the tickets while she went to park, and to your pleasant surprise, Jake was waiting for you. He helped you out of the car with an outstretched hand. You weren’t sure what you were expecting him to wear, but it definitely wasn’t a button-up shirt with the top few buttons undone and nothing underneath. 

“You’re literally making me cold just looking at you,” you teased, wrapping your arms comfortingly around your frame. You had earned a grin from him.

“I’m wearing a coat,” he reasoned, holding up the hem of a light peacoat to prove his point.

You rolled your eyes at him. “C’mon, let’s get our tickets.”

He pulled two tickets out of said coat’s pocket and handed them to you. “You mean these?”

“Did you buy these?” you asked through a frown.

“One of them. I bought mine and Kate’s, and I think you can guess who got yours,” he responded with a genuine smile. 

You took one of the tickets wordlessly, but you couldn’t suppress a smile. 

As soon as Kate had joined you in the foyer, you took your seats. Despite it being only a college production, you were shocked at how many people had come to the opening night. There were only a handful of open spots left when they flashed the lights, and you could just imagine Josh giving the kids a pep talk backstage. 

The show started with a fun, bouncy opening music number and you leaned against Kate as you looked on at all the set pieces you’d both worked so hard on. You had thought your job was hard, but Kate had to round up a bunch of art students to help her work on the hundreds of different props.

Leave it to Josh to treat a children’s musical like a broadway show. 

The first half of the show went pretty much perfectly - everyone seemed to remember their lines, and if they didn’t, you didn’t notice. You couldn’t help but smile in pride as you watched all of your costumes appear on stage, one by one. 

During intermission, your head snapped over when you heard a soda tab opening and you shot Kate a disapproving look - you’re pretty sure you’d read a “no outside food and drink” sign at the front entrance. She gave you an unapologetic smile as she took a long sip and then handed the can over to Jake. He laughed under his breath.

The time went by too fast, and the closer it got to the closing act, the more anxious you got. The final scene was a triumphant number, exciting and big. You could tell that a lot of the audience was family members because when the curtain fell, they all began to stand. Hooting and hollering filled the huge room, and you almost cried when the curtain rose again to reveal some of the kids wearing smiles that spread all the way to their ears. It started with the minor characters - the cards, the flowers, and then the Cheshire Cat, the Hatter, the Caterpillar, the White Rabbit. Then finally, The Queen of Hearts, followed by a grinning Alice. 

They waved excitedly at the crowd, eating up the standing ovation like it was candy. You saw Kate with her hand pressed over her mouth and the biggest eyes you’d ever seen her wear - she was absolutely in love with them, as was the entire rest of the room. 

A moment or two later, Josh stepped out onto the stage. You recalled back when you had first met him and had told him you couldn’t imagine him in business casual because he was wearing a dark blue suit, a pair of black dress shoes, and a proud grin. As the kids made a spot for him in the line, he crouched down in between them and gave a couple of them a pat on the back. You saw him speak something at the girl playing Alice, and it must have been praise because she gave him a toothy smile in return. 

When the cast members had returned backstage, you had told Kate and Jake to leave when they were ready - you were going to wait for Josh. Both of them had given you knowing smiles that you brushed off easily enough, but they left all the same with a parting word of “text me” from Kate. 

You gave it enough time that most of the audience had left - all the kids joining their parents with promises of ice cream and treats - before you made your way backstage. 

After looking for him for a moment, you spotted Josh chatting with an older man excitedly by the back exit. When the older man (his professor, you assumed) laid eyes on you, he gestured toward you with a, “Please head home, we’ll see you tomorrow. You’ve done a great job.”

Josh turned to look at you and the smile melted from his lips as he nodded a haphazard acknowledgment to his professor. 

“Hey,” you greeted, only needing to speak above a whisper in the quiet area. Viewing him on stage was fine - it felt impersonal, but up close it felt like looking into the sun. “You look so handsome.”

His cheeks turned red under the tan skin as he rubbed at the back of his neck, embarrassed. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said through a weak laugh, and a moment later said, “The costumes were incredible.”

“Not bad for someone who didn’t know how to sew a month ago, right?” you teased. You stared into his eyes for a long moment before crossing the room and taking his hand. “Are you ready to go?” you asked, then teasingly added, “Provided my car is still intact.”

He chuckled at you before taking a long breath. “Yeah, let’s go home.” 

The car ride home was tense, but not uncomfortable. You could sense the electricity running through him as you chatted about the production - the pride radiating from him was palpable. 

When you pulled into the apartment parking lot, it had just begun snowing, and neither of you made any moves to exit the car once it was turned off. 

After a long moment of silence, you spoke again. “We have a lot to talk about.”

He gave you a nervous look, one eyebrow quirked. “We do?”

You breathed a laugh, half-turning towards him in your seat. After a moment of collecting your thoughts, you said, “I want you to lay it all out for me. I know we haven’t been talking about it because it’s scary but I need to know exactly how you feel about me.”

He stared into your eyes for a long time, seemingly trying to predict whether this was a good idea or not. Just for assurance, you laid your hand on top of his where it rested on his knee - his fidgeting fingers pausing under your touch. 

“You know, I think I felt it for you the moment I first met you,” he admitted, casting his eyes anywhere but on yours. “I was nervous up until semi-recently that I just felt that way because I was lonely, you know? When my ex and I parted ways last spring and my roommate dropped out and moved away, I felt like I lost everyone all at once.

“I stopped going to parties and seeing my friends until I had none left. And I didn’t want to see my family - I think I had become accustomed to being alone, but you moved in and you were so kind. I’m not sure exactly when it happened - probably kind of a little bit at a time - with every interaction, you know? But I feel it for you. For real.”

He met your eyes again with a surprised frown. You watched his other hand come up, his thumb swiping under your eye, leaving a cool spot behind. “I’m sorry, don’t cry.”

You laughed weakly. “I didn’t know I was. I’m going to ruin all the makeup Kate spent an hour working on.” Before he could speak again, you took the moment. You leaned in and tugged him closer to you by the lapels of his suit jacket, pressing your lips to his. He melted into it for only a moment before pulling away with a sad smile. 

“I don’t want you to do this just because you feel bad for me,” he explained, voice uncharacteristically flat. 

You gave him a frown, taking his chin between your fingers and forcing him to look at you. “I’m not,” you promised, but he looked unconvinced. So you tried again.

“Josh, I’m so sorry about the way I’ve treated you. I fucked up. You have got to be the absolute sweetest person I’ve ever met - definitely the sweetest man - and it was fucked of me to sleep with you and then make you feel like you were wrong for wanting affection.”

He gave you a questioning look.

“It’s never going to happen again. Because - if you’ll have me - I want to give you all the affection you can handle. No weed-induced hook up’s this time.”

He was silent for a long moment, and you huffed a laugh as you visualized his brain working. 

“Oh,” he breathed as a smile started to tilt his lips up at the corners. “Well. That’s not how I expected this to go. Are we gonna fuck here - in the car?”

An abrupt laugh ripped through your chest. “I would prefer if we didn’t, this is cloth upholstery. But we could go inside?”

He nodded at you, and opening the door and stepping out, he came around to your side and gave you his hand to make sure you didn’t fall in the new snowfall. 

Inside, he toed off his dress shoes, and you bent to undo the buckles on your boots, your fingers shaking slightly in anticipation. The second you were stood again, he had you pressed back against the door with just enough force to knock the breath from your lungs. 

When he leaned in and connected your mouths, you wrapped your arms around his neck, your fingers lacing into his hair. 

He kissed a trail down your jaw and to the base of your throat, the feeling of teeth dragging across your skin giving you goosebumps. He hummed into your neck as his hands snaked around your body, his fingers tugging up the hem of your dress.

You slipped your coat off with his help once he realized what you were trying to do. As soon as it fell to the floor, you were walking him back blindly through the apartment, neither of you caring when you bumped into this or that. He turned you around when you reached his bedroom, laying you out over the covers. 

You watched as he unbuttoned his suit jacket, then the cuffs of his dress shirt. 

“You look so beautiful tonight,” he mumbled, making you blush lightly as he gestured to your form. “Did you do this for me?”

Through a smile, you replied, “Of course.”

“I don’t deserve you,” he stated confidently as he worked to open his button-down shirt. You decided that you weren’t going to let him do that alone, so you sat up, replacing his fingers with yours. 

You huffed. “Don’t say that.” The second the fabric was undone, you pressed your lips to his warm stomach, feeling the skin twitch under the touch. “You’re the sweetest person I’ve ever met - candy sweet.” It was his turn to flush pink across his face, but you weren’t done yet. “I find myself thinking about you constantly.” You nipped into the trail of hair below his navel as you tugged his shirt from his dress pants. He hummed low at the slight pain. “I actually got some condoms in case you wanted to use them. Probably not all of them tonight - it’s a big pack, but you know. Over the next couple of weeks.” Your tone was teasing, forcing a breathy laugh from him. 

“Where are they?” he asked, voice a little gravelly. 

“My bedside stand.” 

As he exited the room to retrieve them, you pushed yourself up onto the bed until your head hit his pillows. You could hear him rummaging in the next room until the noise stalled for a beat as you worked off your leggings. You listened to him pad back across the hall, wearing just a smile and his dress pants when he returned. 

He crawled up the bed over you, pressing his face into your cheek as his hand lifted the hem of your dress. 

“What’s this?” he asked into your ear, pressing something cold against your thigh. You knew what it was instantly, making you suck in a surprised breath. 

You laughed, but even to your ears, it sounded nervous. He held it up so you could see.

“That would be a vibrator.”

It wasn’t anything special - just a slim, blue plastic piece, but it was the only one you’d ever had, and it had been a very good friend to you. He hovered his lips over yours as he ran the toy up your leg until the tip of it brushed your panties. 

“Is this okay?” he asked, but he sounded smug like he already knew the answer. You squirmed in anticipation and nodded. 

When he brushed it across your mound, you jolted, your fingers pressing tightly into his shoulder. He applied a little pressure to it, pressing it into the folds over the fabric. The feeling made you whine in the back of your throat.

He sat up, slipping his legs under yours, pulling your ass into his lap. Your face felt hot, so you covered your eyes with your fingers, sucking your bottom lip into your mouth. This was a lot different than hooking up with him while high. 

He played the toy over your panties until you were wet enough to have left a damp spot in the fabric. Then he hooked his fingers under them and tugged them down enough to give him full access, though the position restricted him from removing them completely. 

When the plastic pressed against your bare skin, you had to suppress a moan. You couldn’t see, so you didn’t expect it when the toy flicked to life against you, and he ran it across you lightly, just teasing. 

You stared up at the ceiling through your fingers, your mouth agape as he brushed it over your clit in circles, making your hips buck into the touch.

“Fuck,” you breathed, taking one of your hands from your eyes and running your fingers through your hair. If you tugged on the locks lightly, no one had to know but you. 

A little rougher, he deliberately pressed just the tip of it into your clit, forcing a shocked whine from the back of your throat. You made the mistake of sitting up on your elbows to watch, but instead, all you could look at was the form of his hard cock straining against his tight pants. 

You couldn’t have stopped yourself if you tried - you reached out and ran your fingers down the length of it. It twitched under your touch, but he didn’t stop what he was doing. You made a mental note to congratulate him on his dedication. Instead, he grabbed your wrist with a firm grip and laid you back down, all without taking his eyes off of his task. 

You could feel it starting to build in you as you rocked your hips into the feeling of the toy against your most sensitive part. You were positive that you looked absolutely pathetic, but when you met his eyes, he looked so entranced that it made you blush deeper - if that was even possible. 

Your fingers were flexing into his sheets as you came, a high whine ripping through your chest. When he pulled the toy away, a thread of your come was still connected to it, shimmering in the dim light of his lamp. He brought it to his lips and pressed a kiss against it, leaving his lips shiny. 

It took you a moment to collect yourself - your breathing was ragged and not at all appealing, if you had to guess. 

He gently placed your vibrator on his side table, and you watched as his fingers worked open the button on his pants, and then the zipper. When he pulled down the elastic band of his underwear, his cock popped out - rock hard. He pushed all the fabric down to his thighs and then tugged you further into his lap until your parts were flush together. 

“Did you want the condom?” you asked with a fucked-out smile. 

“Fuck it,” he replied with a grin as he rubbed his cock through your slit, making your over-sensitive skin pulse.  

You breathed a little “ah” sound as your whole lower half felt like it was hooked up to a live wire. “Are you telling me that you went all the way over there and forgot the condom?”

“First of all,” he started with a sinister laugh. “It’s just across the hall. Second of all, that’s exactly what I’m telling you.”

You had opened your mouth to respond but before you could, he pushed into you, his thumb holding his cock into place. 

“Fuck,” you rasped, throwing your head back into the pillow. You could feel how wet you were just by his movements. Your hands reached out until you could dig your fingernails into his forearms, his hands tight on your hips as he bottomed out in you. 

You looked up just in time to catch his tongue swipe out over his lips, his eyes half-lidded. 

He started rocking in and out of you like a tide drawn to the beach, sending little shockwaves through your core and up into your tight stomach.

To give your fingers something to do, they worked at the buttons on your dress. They only went down to the bottom of your ribcage, but it was far enough to expose your chest. He didn’t waste even a second before he moved one of his hands to your tit, squeezing it until it spilled out through his fingers. 

You were focused on that until he brushed something inside of you that made your jaw drop open. You went to moan but no sound would come out, so you sat up on your hands and pushed back against him, forcing him in deeper. His teeth were clenched as his hands found your hips again, holding you in the position you needed to be in to work yourself on him. He hummed, eyes fluttering as he met you halfway, thumbs pushed into the thin skin across your hip bones. You briefly wondered if he’d leave you little oval-shaped bruises.

He was staring into your eyes as best he could while his eyelids fluttered, so you knew when he was getting close to the edge. He pulled you up to him so you were riding his lap, his forehead against yours, the new angle putting his cock perfectly against your sweet spot as the length of him slid into you. 

You kissed him deeply as you worked yourself onto him, his breath hitching and his fingers lacing into your hair as he came. You were shockingly close behind, so when he drove you down on him harder to ride out his orgasm, you lost it too. 

You gasped into his mouth as it washed over you, leaving your senses as if you were swallowed by a wave. 

Neither of you moved for a few moments until you pulled back just far enough to look into his eyes. 

“You’re going to have come on your dress pants,” you whispered teasingly. He smirked back at you as he laid you out onto the bed. 

“Yeah, I’ll have to wash them before tomorrow night’s show,” he agreed, and the idea made your cheeks go pink. 

You were both silent as you cleaned up, and when you returned to him from the bathroom, he was already tucked under the covers in his bed. He smiled at you and held the comforter up for you as you crawled in next to him. You knew you were going to fall asleep almost instantly once you got completely situated, so it was lucky that he spoke before that happened. 

“I want you to come home with me for Christmas,” he stated, voice just above a whisper. 

You blinked over at him, a little stunned. 

“I don’t want you to be here alone - you deserve to be with a loving family,” he explained further when he saw the look on your face. 

You gave him a smile, feeling oddly sentimental post-orgasm. You could feel tears pricking at your eyes, so you buried your face in his neck. 

“I’d like that.”

[tteokggukk]

all an act → ksj

✳ pairing: acting major! seokjin x acting major reader, basically they’re both acting majors

✳ genre: enemies to lovers, fluff, college au

✳ warnings: swearing, copulation is implied (not written), just PG-13

✳ words: 10.6k

✳ a/n: I’M SO EXCITED FOR THIS ONE i’ve had this idea on my mind longer than my published stuff so far. i also didn’t think this would even reach 10k+ words, i initially thought it’d only be ~5k but my hand kept slipping and slipping and 10k happened. anyways, enjoy reading! and again, if you’d like to send some comments (esp on things i can do to improve), don’t hesitate to comment or send an ask!

"How many years is it gonna take for you to finish writing a sentence?" You sighed and began tapping on your foot. You were sitting in one of tables outside to finish a short paper about a film your professor tasked you to watch with a partner. Normally you were fine working with anyone, and even if it was individual work you'd have no problem getting it done in no time. However, today was different. You almost wanted to tear your hair out and scream for as long as you could until this was all over.

You didn't expect Kim Seokjin to be your partner this time.

"When you stop acting like a priss, that's when," Seokjin rolled his eyes as he typed out the remaining sentences of your "collaborative" effort. You wouldn't even call it collaborative unless it meant having to argue about several different points of a story just to piece a whole paper together. You rolled your eyes and clicked your tongue, muttering a "Looks who's talking," underneath your breath.

For the whole year you survived not being partners with him and you thought you'd be able to get away with it, until your professor stopped allowing people to choose partners and started assigning them instead. You desperately hoped this was the last time you'd ever be partnered with someone you loathed.

You were both acting majors and were well known as two of the most top performing students in your batch, but you never got along well. When you respectfully asked your professor why he paired you with him in hopes of trying to get out of it, he started talking to you about both of your “potentials” and “how much better it'd be for the two of you to work together”.

"Here. I'm done," he pushes your laptop away from him and towards you, "Can I leave?"

"We still have to print and pass this," you told him through gritted teeth.

"And you need me for that? Wow, I'm almost flattered," He snickers before standing up and grabbing his bag.

"I'm so glad you aren't."

Slamming your laptop shut, you trudged ahead to the library to have the paper printed, moving slightly faster to avoid having to talk to (or argue with) Seokjin. You didn't have the energy to keep bickering, you were just glad this paper was over and you'd never have to talk to each other again.

You stood next to Seokjin, making sure there was distance between you two as your professor, Mr. Brown, began silently reading your work.

So far so good, he was nodding and smiling as he mouthed the words on the paper, making only a few marks on every other page. 

All you needed to do was wait for him to announce your grade and you could both go your separate ways. Why couldn't time move any faster? You began counting the seconds to save yourself from boredom, but also to keep your eyes away from your partner.

"Wow, this is…" Mr. Brown spoke, breaking the silence.

"Yes?" You and Seokjin both asked in unison before glaring at each other for a millisecond.

"Unexpected," Mr. Brown says as he places your paper in front of you.

"Sir?" Your right eye narrows as you call in confusion. What does he mean?

"Unexpected. I thought for sure bringing you two together would produce a well-thought paper, but… this is terrible."

Terrible.

You felt your heart sink. No one has ever called your paper terrible. In fact, most of your papers almost always had good comments and praises and perfect marks, how could this have happened? You even made sure to check everything thrice before finalizing everything.

"What?" Seokjin exclaimed, "What do you mean our paper's terrible?"

"It lacks unity. Your opposing ideas are all over the place, I can tell you tried to link them, but you failed at it," Mr. Brown sighs in disappointment before taking his glasses off to breathe deeply, "You're aware of how many points this paper is, yes?"

"Yes," you and Seokjin spoke nervously.

"And you know only one submission is allowed, yes?"

"Yes," you both answered.

"You know where I'm getting at, right?"

You swallow nervously before speaking up, "Sir, can't we revise it and pass it again? We'll just tweak some of the—"

"I'm afraid you can't. You know the rules very well, Ms. Y/L/N," Mr. Brown shook his head. You sighed, feeling defeated.

"You both clearly have problems working together. Teamwork is part of the criteria, you know," Mr. Brown stood up to sit on the edge of his desk, "You're both our top performing students. I can understand how much your grades mean to you, but did you not consider how your differences could affect your output?"

"Is there any way we can get some extra credit to make up for this paper?" Seokjin asks. You felt a little relieved at his question as you were already feeling too nervous to ask any more.

Mr. Brown looked around in thought, "Well, there is a way I suppose. Some of the upperclassmen under my class are creating a short film and they need extra actors for their project. If you'd like to help them out, I'll give your paper full marks and add some extra points to your other outputs. It might be too taxing for you though."

"No! It's alright, could you give us their names so we can talk to them?" You asked. Mr. Brown nodded and began writing something down on a piece of paper before handing it over to you.

"I wish you two the best of luck. And please try to get along." Mr. Brown says before you and Seokjin excuse yourselves out of the room.

"What do you know? Even our papers show we don’t work together well," Seokjin mutters as you two rushed to find those seniors you needed to work with, "I could've passed if I just had the right partner."

"You're blaming me?" You couldn't believe it, the audacity, "I would've gotten perfect marks even if I wrote that paper with my eyes closed."

Seokjin laughs, "Yeah, okay. You might not have even gotten any marks if you weren't with me."

"You know, my expectations for you were low, but holy fuck," You snickered, "This is the first time I've ever gotten a comment like that on an output. I don't think you being my partner this time around was a coincidence.”

"Oh yeah? If you had just agreed to add my opinion on—"

Just as Seokjin began leaning in to you to defend his ideas, you turned around to face him, abruptly stopping his speech, "Could you just shut up and walk while we look for the guy on this paper?" Your blood was boiling at the sound of his voice, all you wanted to do was get this over with.

The two of you continued searching rooms with Seokjin following behind until you reached the room with the door number your professor had written down. You stared at the piece of paper and looked at the door, hesitating to knock.

"Give me that," Seokjin took the paper from your hand and quickly knocked before letting himself in as you followed.

"Hello, is Oliver Beck here?" Seokjin asked and everyone around stared, making you feel a bit uncomfortable. A guy with long hair wearing a plaid shirt came forward, "That's me, what is it?"

"Hi, we're students from Mr. Brown's class and we were wondering if we could participate as extras in your short film? He says we need the extra credit," Seokjin explained.

Oliver looks confused. "Extras? We've already got that covered," he says, "We need main actors."

"Main actors?" You asked.

"Yeah, no one has agreed to do it yet, but we've already asked some to—"

"We'll do it," Seokjin cuts him off, causing Oliver to raise his brows in surprise.

"You will?"

"Yeah, we really need the credit."

"Are you sure? You haven't seen the script yet," Oliver asks hesitantly.

"Positive. We'll do our best," You spoke.

"Er— alright then, follow me," Oliver motioned for the two of you to walk along. You and Seokjin couldn't help but send each other mutual confused expressions.

Neither of you knew what you were getting into. How bad could the film be that no one has agreed to do it?

Oliver pulls out two copies of what seemed to be scripts from his bag and hands them to the two of you, "Here. It's pretty short, so it shouldn't take long to memorize."

The script wasn't as thick as you thought it would be, so you decide to flip through pages to see what some of the scenes were like. Seokjin just stares at the title on the front page.

"I don't mean to pressure you but we start filming next month, so I'd start practicing if I were you," Oliver announces, "Anyways, I'd better get back to my friends. Send me your numbers so I can contact you guys for details."

After exchanging names and numbers with Oliver and a few of his group mates for the project, you and Seokjin finally left the room.

"Why do you think no one agreed to film with them?" Seokjin asks. You didn't exactly think you were both on friendly-conversation-terms, but the same question did linger in your mind.

"I don't know. Why? Are you backing out?" You asked mockingly.

"If there's anyone between us who'd back out from this, I'm pretty damn sure it wouldn't be me," He scoffs.

"You know, if we had just done that paper properly we wouldn't be stuck here doing some film that I don't even know," You sighed angrily.

"God, get over it. You should be glad you're even part of this extra credit thing. Technically I was the one who asked about it," Seokjin grunts.

"I am so close to taking this script and stabbing you with it," You glared at him.

Before you two parted ways, you both agreed to meet tomorrow at an empty rehearsal room to practice some of the scenes. You didn't know how this was even going to work, you blamed the whole thing on the paper even though you knew it was both your faults. How would starring in a film make up for everything if your paper couldn't even save you both?

You hung around in your dorm for the rest of the day to read through the script. A few hours later, Courtney, your best friend and roommate, arrived.

"I got your texts," she said a little too loudly as she entered, "Seriously? You're filming with Kim Seokjin?"

You let out a groan as you fell back on your bed with the script covering your face, "Ugh, I know! Can you believe my luck?"

"You know if any other girl had the chance, they'd thank all the gods right about now," Courtney laughed as she lied down on your bed, "I'm sorry about your paper though."

She was right. Seokjin was incredibly liked by everyone. He was the kind of person that exuded this welcoming aura, like you could easily be friends with him. Even people from other classes knew him. He always had that bright smile when it came to others. It was just different with you.

"It's fine. I didn't think our hate for each other would be reflected on our paper," you sighed, "And now I have to meet him tomorrow just to practice, ugh."

"You're meeting tomorrow?" Courtney raises a brow. You nod disappointingly.

"Well," Courtney sighed in annoyance, "Make sure he even gets there. If he stands you up again, I won't hesitate to beat the shit out of—"

You laughed, "Please, Court. He'll have to come this time. He's the one who got us into this."

"Yeah he'd better. Listen, call me immediately if he doesn't, okay? Wouldn’t hurt to give him a piece of my mind."

Ranting about Seokjin left you feeling ravenous, and it didn’t take long before you two decided to leave the room to grab some food from the cafeteria and talk about your day. When you both got back, you headed for bed and began reading the script, mouthing some of the lines to familiarize yourself with everything. 

Not even a few pages later and you felt your mind wandering off as your eyes rolled back, feeling yourself drift away with the script falling off your bed as you fell into a deep sleep.

Seokjin was a few minutes late in the rehearsal room but you decided to let it slide since you two had to be on good terms to make this practice work. Based on what you've read so far; the story was about friends who've had feelings for each other for so long but couldn't do anything about it in fear of ruining their friendship. Generic, you thought.

"I'd say sorry for being late, but it's only you waiting," Seokjin says as he enters the room and drops his bag on the floor.

"I'd say no problem, I didn't wait long, but you're an imbecile that probably made me wait on purpose," You faked a smile before quickly turning back to a stern expression, "Did you read the script?"

"Just halfway," He says and pulls his copy of the script out from his bag, "Did you?"

"Same," you muttered, "So, let's start with the first scene?"

For the first thirty minutes you two had agreed to sit down and rehearse your lines. You were both good at reciting the dialogues, it almost seemed like you were professionals. You thought there wouldn't be any problems when it came to actually acting out the scenes until you both finally had to practice with delivery, you both sucked.

"What is so hard about not being stiff?" Seokjin exclaims.

"I am not stiff! You're just not moving that close to me!" You retorted, crossing your arms in defense.

"You know what? We've been going at this scene for an hour now and nothing looks right," Seokjin sighs.

"Of course nothing looks right, it's our first time practicing together. I've literally never done a scene with you before," You sat down on the floor and ran your fingers through your hair.

You'd think two top performing students would have a piece of cake acting out simple scenes with perfect chemistry, but you and Seokjin were far from it.

"We've never been partners before?" He asks, sitting down in front of you.

"No, never. And I honestly thought it'd stay that way," You grumbled.

"God, you talk as if this was my fault," Seokjin glares at you, "If we were the last people on Earth and had to do that paper again, I hope you know I'd rather choose a monkey than work with you."

"Why? Because great minds think alike?" You fought back.

"It's a well-known fact those animals have bigger brains than you do."

I swear to God, hold me back or I am gonna hurt him so bad.

"Why don't we just practice reading the lines and act them out tomorrow?" You suggested politely with a smile that was so painfully forced. 

And so that was what you did for the next two hours, only rehearsing the first half of the film. That was what you did for the next two days, but the problem was though you two did sound great in dialogue, your act wasn't close to it.

Jin had a secret.

He's been keeping it for months now, and only his best friend, Yoongi, knew about it.

He didn't actually know why you two hated each other so much. He had no idea why you hated him at all. He just started going along with it until it became a habitual thing, but as to why this all started he had absolutely no clue.

"She's nice to me," Yoongi spoke as he shoved another potato in his mouth.

"She's nice to everyone," Jin added.

"Everyone but you," Yoongi laughed.

"I think the reason why you two can't get your scenes right is because you act like you hate each other," Yoongi told Jin as they ate their lunch, "Why don't you just ask her why she hates you so much?"

"I can't, she thinks I have a reason. It wouldn't make sense if I asked her," Jin shrugged, "It's kinda fun though, bickering with her. I just don't understand why."

Yoongi raised a brow, "Fun? Hold on, you're not…"

"It's not whatever you're thinking," Jin rolled his eyes, earning him a smirk from Yoongi.

"Right," Yoongi spoke, "What are you gonna do about your practice? Hasn't it been like, two weeks?"

"Yeah, and we're nowhere near done," Jin sighs, "Speaking of which, I have to go meet her now."

"Sounds like a date," Yoongi teased.

"I will hit you with this script," Jin warns him before taking his bag and muttering goodbye.

He hurriedly walked to the rehearsal room and checked his watch, he was late again today. Jin was sure he'd earn another lecture from you and how he lacked punctuality and that they'd never get anything done if he never arrived on time. Today he brought ear plugs, and before walking in he made sure to put them on before entering the room.

There was no noise.

It took him a minute to find you lying down on the floor on the side of the room, using your bag as a pillow. You were sleeping soundly as you clutched your script in your hand with earphones plugged in.

Jin closed the door behind him and quietly sat down in front of you. He watched as you slept peacefully, hair strands falling on your face.

You're pretty, Jin thought. You always have been attractive to him, and kind to others-- but it was always a different case when it came your relationship with him, or lack thereof. Without thinking, he found himself reaching out for your face, tucking the strands of hair behind your ear.

You opened your eyes and saw Jin sitting in front of you, his hand close to your face. His eyes widen and he quickly moves back, his ears turning red.

"What are you doing?" You asked, pulling your earphones out of your ears.

What was he doing? You hated each other. Was he not thinking straight for a moment just because you looked so peaceful and harmless while you slept? Was he forgetting how much you hated his guts?

"There was a bug," he lied and quickly stood up, shyly turning away from you.

That was odd. I could've sworn…

"Okaaay," You spoke awkwardly and stood up, rubbing your eyes to get rid of any eye crusts that may have formed while you were sleeping, "Whatever, let's practice."

You had to admit though, your practices were getting better. There was less banter and more productive work and you couldn't help but feel like a huge weight off your chest has just been lifted. Oddly enough, there were less insults coming from both sides and subtler, masked compliments.

"You know for a monkey, you're doing pretty well," Seokjin teased, causing you to roll your eyes but smile anyway.

"You can just say I'm talented, don't be shy," you joked, making him chuckle a bit.

It was awkward though, being "nice" to each other. With Seokjin, you were more used to insults and arguments rather than trying hard at compliments. At the same time, it felt kind of nice to know that it was possible to have more to your "relationship" rather than constantly fighting.

By the time you two had finished practicing, it was already dark out. You both sat on the floor for a good ten minutes before standing up and deciding to leave.

"Hey, Monkey, it's dark outside," Seokjin spoke, breaking the silence between you two.

"Yeah, I know," you replied. You were already used to going home alone in the dark, so you figured him trying to scare you wouldn't make any difference.

"How far is your dorm?" He asks.

"It's a twenty-minute walk, I guess," You tried not to sound surprised at his question, "Why?"

"Come on," he says and opens the door, "I'll walk you home." Seokjin turned all the lights off now, which thankfully hid his ears that were now red.

Your eyebrows were raised in shock as you stood there wondering if you heard him right.

"What are you doing standing there? Hurry up!" He called.

You stared in disbelief as you walked towards him, silently analyzing what food he must’ve had before practice that messed with his brain and made him nice all of a sudden. He closes the door behind you two and you both start walking.

It was silent. And awkward. And you were confused. Why was he suddenly being so nice? It felt so… weird.

"Are you sick?" You asked.

"No?" He looks at you, confused, "Why?"

"You're being nice," You said, a little too quietly.

"If something happened to you people would blame me because I was with you last," he explained quickly, "Plus, there are many animal abusers on the loose—"

"Oh, shut up, forget it," you shoved him lightly, holding back a smile as Seokjin laughed.

And then there was silence again.

"How do you wanna go about the last scene?" Seokjin asks out of nowhere.

The last scene? Oh, that scene.

It was your turn to turn pink now as you avoided trying to sound like the question bothered you. You tried your best to sound nonchalant as you answered.

"I don't know, just go with the flow, I guess…" you told him.

"When do you wanna practice?" He asks, sounding casual.

"Whenever you're ready," You muttered. Am I even ready?

When you finally got to your dorm, you contemplated whether or not you would say bye to him. While silently debating with yourself on what you should do as you stepped on the stairs leading to your building door, Seokjin beat you to whatever decision you might've made.

"I'll see you Monday, Monkey," Seokjin said, stopping in front of the first step.

"Thanks for walking with me, see ya," you said in a voice that sounded more monotone than you wanted it to be. Neither of you said anything else so you went ahead and walked in. Seokjin watched and finally left when you were no longer in sight.

The way he was acting today bothered you. Not in a bad way, you just didn't understand why he was being that way. Had something changed?

Once you entered your dorm room, you tried to fix your face into a normal one as you pushed your thoughts aside. Courtney immediately rushed over to you to ask you questions.

"You don't usually come home after dark, what took you so long?" She asked.

"I practiced with Seokjin, remember?" You spoke, carefully avoiding eye contact as you placed your bag on your chair.

"For this long?" She asks suspiciously.

"Yeah, we finally got some scenes right," you turned to face her as you plopped yourself onto your bed.

"About time," she sat on her chair, "Hey, will you go out with me tomorrow?"

"Ooooh, are you asking me out on a date?" You teased as Courtney rolled her eyes with a smile. 

"No, at least not with me," she grins.

"Huh?" You asked, squinting one eye.

"Micara set me up on a blind date with someone on campus. Apparently they're bringing a friend so now it's a double blind date," she sighs.

"You agreed on a blind date? That's so sketchy," you commented, earning yourself a look from Courtney.

"Yeah, yeah, it's sketchy. I just did it for fun, Micara says he's really cute. I don't know about the friend, though."

"Cute is subjective."

"You have to come with me," Courtney pleads with puppy dog eyes.

"Courtney! No, ask someone else," you tried to shake your hand away from Courtney who was now holding onto your arm.

"It's gonna be so weird if I hang out with the two of them!"

"Well, that's what you get for saying yes to blind dates."

"Please! What if they actually are weirdos who want to take advantage of me?" She pouts. That did make you think twice. A smile begins to creep up on Courntey's lips, knowing you were about to say yes.

"You're lucky I love you," You sighed.

"Yes! Thank you so much, y/n," She pulls you in for a tight hug, "You won't regret coming with me."

The next time you saw Seokjin wasn't on Monday.

You saw him the next day. On the double date. In a movie theater. 

Your heart nearly stopped.

At first you thought Courtney's date came alone and you almost made an excuse to leave, until Seokjin came carrying two bags of popcorn with him, almost dropping them when he saw you standing there.

"Monkey? What are you doing here?" Seokjin asked in shock.

"Do you two know each other?" Josh, Courtney's date, asks while taking one bag of popcorn.

"They hate each other," Courtney whispers to her date.

"You’re the friend?" You asked out loud.

"Before you two come for each other's necks, why don't we fall in line for the movie?" Courtney anxiously smiles as she and Josh begin to walk away to line up, leaving you and Seokjin staring at each other. The whole situation reminded you of that Spiderman meme.

Seokjin sighs and walks closer to you, "Guess I'm gonna have to stay with you."

"No one's forcing you to," you told him.

"Do you want me to leave then?" He challenges.

"I never asked you to come!" Your voice slightly raises in defense.

"Great, then!"

"Fine!"

But neither of you moved from where you stood. You just stared at each other, arms folded while Seokjin clutched onto the bag of popcorn. Finally, you let out a deep breath.

"I can't leave my friend," You spoke.

"So can I," He says, "Let's just fall in line."

Courtney and Josh were so far ahead now you could barely see their faces from where you were. Seokjin stood behind you in the line. Neither of you said anything.

There was a group of guys standing in front of you talking loudly to themselves. Suddenly you notice their voices turn down and they began whispering among themselves. You could've sworn you caught them stealing glances at you. The guy in front of you turns around to face you. You raise a brow.

"Hi, I'm Max," he introduces, "I couldn't help but notice you."

Well, duh. I'm right behind you.

"Oh, hello Max," You forced a polite smile.

"These are my friends," he motions at the group of guys behind him and they all wave, "You should join us."

Does he not know the tickets have assigned seats? Embarrassing.

"No, I really shouldn't," you tried to sound as friendly as possible to avoid any trouble, but the guy was persistent and he was beginning to annoy you.

"It's alright, we don't bite. Are you alone?" He asks, slowly moving closer while you tried to move back. This guy was extremely creepy.

"Uh—"

"She said no. Fuck off," You heard Seokjin speak up from behind you, his voice much deeper and more intimidating causing chills to run down your spine. It was different from the way he spoke to you whenever you would banter.

"I was talking to her, who even are you?" Max says rudely and glares at Seokjin.

"I'm the guy she came with. What's your deal?" Seokjin moves forward and places his hand on your shoulder to subtly move you away from the guy.

"Oh, yeah? I never saw you talking to her," Max challenges.

"I think she already said no once. How many times does she have to decline before you understand that no means no?" Seokjin crosses his arms. He was much taller than the creepy guy, who was obviously starting to become intimidated by him.

"Dude, back the fuck off. We were here first," Max spits. They were so close, you almost thought a fight was about to happen.

"Do you realize how stupid you sound?" Seokjin frowns. That was enough. People were beginning to stare so you held onto Seokjin's arm, "Seokjin, it's fine. Just stop talking to him."

"No, this guy is extremely disrespectful and creepy!" Seokjin's voice was a little too loud now, "You don't get to force girls you don't even know to stick with you and your friends. That is so close to predatory behavior," he points at the guy and people start backing away from him and his friends.

"She already said no once, you shouldn't try to peer pressure her into coming with you!" Seokjin says, "And she's not alone," he grabs your hand, taking you by surprise, "She came with me. Now screw off before I call security."

Max, along with his friends, were evidently scared of Seokjin now as they all glared at him and left. Your heart was beating fast from anticipating the worst out of the scenario, but Seokjin handled it pretty well. You were too shy to admit it, but he saved your ass today.

The two of you watched as the group of guys left, his hand still clutching onto yours. When they were gone, he looked down at you, "Are you okay?" He asks, concern evident in his voice.

You were at a loss for words. He defended you, and he's still holding onto your hand really right. This was the first time you've ever seen him truly concerned about you. You'd like to think you could've defended yourself as well, but the fact that Seokjin did it for you sent this warm feeling in your chest that you couldn't understand.

"Yeah. Fine," you spoke but it came out as a whisper. You cleared your throat, "Thanks. I really appreciate it."

"No problem," he gives you a small smile, "I don't suppose you still wanna watch this movie?"

"God, no, honestly," you laughed a bit, "I never wanted to."

He laughs and steps out of line and so do you, then he politely mentions the people behind you two to take your place. His hand was still holding yours, and you were beginning to wonder if he had noticed. You didn't let go, either.

"Let's hang out then," Seokjin blurts out. He tries to ignore the feeling of heat on his ears as he looks at you to wait for your response. You tried your hardest not to seem at all fazed.

"Sure."

Seokjin suggests going to an arcade, and so you did. When you got there, you both had to stand outside for ten minutes or so trying to finish the popcorn he bought because food and drinks weren't allowed inside.

"Why'd you buy such a big bag anyway? Were you planning on feeding the whole audience?" You tried to chew and swallow five at a time to hurry up.

"I thought the movie was gonna be boring, this was all I could do," Seokjin says defensively.

"At the rate we're eating this we're gonna get some kind of ulcer," You grumbled.

"You don't seem to be having a problem," he laughs and you playfully slap his arm.

Once you got in, you raced to one of those zombie shooting games. Seokjin was good at aiming and definitely had more kills than you did, but you couldn't help but laugh at how startled he got every time a jumpscare appeared.

"Look at all your deaths, you suck at this," he laughed while pointing at your score.

You blushed, "Ha-ha, funny. I bet you can't beat me at racing," you smirked, challenging him to a race.

"You're on," he grinned.

The two of you then proceeded to one of the car games and true enough, you beat him at it. He wasn't even close to being good. He hit every sidewalk and his car kept slowing down.

"Are you even driving? You might as well run if you even want a chance at winning," You teased as you continuously accelerated.

"How are you so good at this? Are you secretly part of those illegal street racers?" Seokjin was struggling with his car as he moved his steering wheel around.

When you were done racing, Seokjin spots one of those stuffed toy machines. "Do you want one?" He asks jokingly, not actually expecting you to say yes, though he didn't exactly mind getting one for you…

"No. Nuh-uh, that is so cheesy," you laughed and shook your head, "Let's play guitar hero."

It was difficult to admit it to yourself at first, but you were having so much fun with Seokjin. Of course, you two never stopped teasing each other with little insults, but now it felt so much more lighthearted. You started getting along well with him, it no longer felt awkward or forced.

Seokjin felt the same way. In fact, there were moments where he'd subconsciously find himself staring at your lashes, or giving you soft pats when you won a game as an excuse to get close to you. He didn't realize how natural it came to him at all, until he found his gaze fixed upon your smile that sent a warm feeling all over him.

You've never smiled at him so genuinely before. Seeing it now, it was as if your beauty had been completely magnetized. Now all he wanted to do was see more of that smile. In almost all the games you played, Seokjin decided to go easy on you so you'd win most of them. It was amusing to him, seeing you so competitive. Seeing you happy every time you won felt like a win for him as well.

When your eyes shifted to meet his, you noticed how he quickly looked away while the color of his ears turned into that familiar shade of red.

"Let's just play one last game, I'm starving," you held your hand to your stomach.

"Really? After all that popcorn?" He teased, followed by the sound of his own stomach rumbling, making you laugh.

"You tried," you laughed, "Let's play that one." You pointed at the Just Dance machine.

After a minute of arguing on what song to pick, Seokjin ended up choosing (your song of choice). Of all the games you could have picked, you started to regret choosing Just Dance. You didn't even /know/ how to dance, what made you think you could beat him at this game?

You glanced over at Seokjin who was dancing flawlessly and effortlessly. Your mouth dropped, and you stopped dancing altogether to watch him move. He was so focused on the game, he hadn't noticed you stopped playing just to watch him.

Your eyes fixated on his every move. He moved so well, you could feel your heart thumping louder as you watched in awe.

He was so attractive.

Finally, the game was over and Seokjin was surprised to see you standing there, just watching him with your mouth open. He holds back a laugh and moves towards you, placing his finger on your chin making you close your mouth. He was so close to you; you could feel your cheeks heat up.

"Surprised?" He asks.

"Who knew you could dance like that?" You spoke, but mostly to yourself.

"I don't know, natural talent I guess. Why'd you stop dancing, monkey? I thought you'd beat me at it," Seokjin pokes your forehead.

"I was just giving you a chance," You played off, "You should me thanking me."

He raises a brow and smiles, "Then as thanks I'll buy you food, come on."

You both decide to go for churros in a cafe. Seokjin suggested to dine in because you'd probably spill the chocolate as you walked, so you sat across each other in a small but comfortable space. Even though you insisted on paying for your own food, he beat you to it and paid for it instead.

"Just take it as a thank you gift for 'letting me win'," he says while adding air quotes. When he was no longer looking, you broke into a smile at his thoughtful gesture.

"You know, I never thought I'd say this but I'm actually having fun," You told him in manner where you tried to play it cool. He smiles and nods at this.

"See what happens when you aren't busy hating me?" He says with a cheesy smile, "You'll never find anyone as fun as I am."

"Sure, Seokjin," you rolled your eyes, "Just wait ‘til we start practicing and start ripping each other's throats out."

"That's not gonna happen."

"And why is that?"

"I'm confident something's changed," he grins charmingly with eyes looking fond for a moment you had to look away for fear of turning red in front of him.

You cleared your throat, "Whatever you say."

As you two continued to eat, you started talking about all sorts of things. Why you got into acting, how he was so good at dancing, how you and Courtney met. The flow of your conversations came naturally and you found yourselves wanting to know more and more about each other.

Time kept ticking, but you two didn't seem to notice. Even when you were done with your food, neither of you seemed close to running out of things to talk about.

Out of nowhere, Seokjin suddenly stopped and brought his hand close to you and you felt him gently touch your face. You stopped breathing.

"An eyelash," he says while moving his hand back.

"Oh, thanks," you tried hiding how flustered you were.

His phone started ringing, muttering a "One moment," before quickly answering it.

"Josh," he spoke. Your eyes widened.

Courtney!

You checked your own phone as Seokjin spoke to his friend. Your phone was filled with hundreds of messages from her asking where you two were and what you were doing.

"I'm with her," You heard Seokjin say, "You want us to leave you two alone? Then I guess you're doing well."

Leave them alone? That made you look up at him before typing a message to send to Courtney.

I'm with Seokjin and I'm doing great. I'll tell you everything later. I think Josh wants us to leave you guys alone. You alright? Are you having fun? Message me if you need me.

"Alright, see you tomorrow then. No, no it's fine, I'll bring her home," Seokjin continued, "Bye. Stay safe."

"They want us to leave them."

"I have ears, Seokjin."

"Big ones too, monkey," He jokes, "I'm kidding. And stop calling me Seokjin, no one calls me that."

Right, his friends called him Jin.

"Just call me Jin," He says, "None of my close friends call me Seokjin."

"Are you saying we're close friends?"

"I feel like we're moving too fast," He says sarcastically, laughing at his own joke before he continued, "No, our relationship's much more special than that."

You choked on your own saliva, "What?" Did you hear that right? Our relationship's what?

"We're partners that failed a paper and are now working on a movie," He laughs, "I'd say it's been great journey so far."

"And I'd say it's been a pleasure but it really hasn't."

"Seeing as you had fun with me today, I don't think that's true," he smirked. Why was it getting harder to get back at him?

"Shut up," You couldn't think of anything anymore.

You suddenly thought of asking him about it.

The reason why you disliked him so much in the first place. Why he left you alone without telling you.

Does he even remember?

But the mood between you two was great right now, so you decided to push the thought aside and ask some other time.

Shortly after, you two finally left the cafe and walked around, continuing your conversation. After a few more hours later, you decided it was getting late and that you should probably get back. Jin offered to take you home. The ride home was just as fun, blasting music and playing songs that you both knew.

He walked you back to your dorm and you both stopped at the steps outside the building.

"Thanks for today Monkey, I had fun," Jin smiles.

"Stop calling me that," You laughed.

"Then what do you suggest I call you?"

"Your highness."

"Too long. Princess?"

"Jeez, I was kidding," You chuckled nervously, obviously flustered so you took a step back on the first step, "Keep 'Monkey', I don't care."

He raises a brow at your response. "Your replies were better than that," Jin took a step in front of you, your faces were now close and your eyes levelled each other's. You gulped nervously.

"I'm just running out," You said coolly (or at least, in your head you thought it was cool), "You're moving to some new level of annoying and it takes some getting used to."

"I annoy you?" He asks.

"Yes. 24/7."

"I guess I'm living in your mind, rent-free," he smirks, "24/7, huh?"

You were beginning to feel even more flustered now and you knew that Jin noticed by the smirk on his face. He begins to step back and his face turns back to a warm smile.

"You wish," you spoke, "Bye, I'm leaving. Thanks for the drive." Before you could turn your back, Jin takes your hand and holds onto it. You almost muttered an "Oh my god" out loud at his action.

"Y/N, wait," he says, pulling you close to him, making you step down. Your faces were inches apart now.

"What?"

You heart was beating, trying to anticipate what he was gonna do next. Was he gonna lean in? Why was he staring at you like that? His face was so near. Did you want him to lean in?

"The last scene," he spoke.

"What?" Seemed like the only words you knew how to say now.

"The last scene," he spoke again, "We haven't practiced it yet."

Whatever it was you were expecting was off the table as you let out a sigh that Jin thought was out of relief. "Monday, we'll do it Monday. But we can't use the rehearsal room," you told him.

"Yeah, I figured. Where do you wanna practice, then?" He asks.

"Is your place available?" You asked before realizing how suggestive you sounded, "Because Courtney's usually home early."

Seokjin grins, "Yeah, my place is fine."

"Okay, great."

"Great."

"So, I'm gonna go now," You said slowly.

"Right," Jin lets go off you, "I'll see you Monday. For real this time."

"Monday, okay. See you," you waved before turning around and entering your dorm. You resisted the urge to look back and check if had already left, so you walked quickly before you changed your mind.

However, if you did look back, you'd find Jin patiently waiting until you were out of his sight, smiling to himself because of today's events. When he was sure you were gone, he finally left.

Jin was right. Something has definitely changed between you two. The day after your "date", you couldn't stop thinking about the way he was with you. He was kinder, more fun to be around. You didn't expect him to be that thoughtful, either. Of course, he was all these things to others, but now he was like that with you. Then you realized he was all you've been thinking about. It scared you slightly.

He really did live in your mind, rent-free.

"What happened, by the way?" Courtney asked.

You snap out of your thoughts and looked at her, "Yesterday?"

"Yeah, you and Seokjin disappeared."

"We decided not to watch the movie, then we hung out in an arcade."

"You hung out with him?" Courtney eyed you suspiciously, slowly making her way towards you to sit next to you on the bed.

"Yeah."

"And you're both still alive?"

"Yeah."

"So what was he like?" She asks.

"He was… nice. He saved my ass from a group of creepy guys," you smiled as you thought about it, "And he's good at dancing."

"You danced with him?"

"No, on Just Dance."

Courtney just stares, obviously shocked because she never thought you and Seokjin would get along, "You basically went on a date."

"It wasn't a date!" You said defensively, "We just… left you two. Didn't Josh tell Jin to leave you guys?"

"You call him Jin now, that's actually really cute," Courtney teases, then changes her expression to a frown, "Wait, no. Josh never said anything like that."

Huh? But I thought... "What do you mean?"

"He called Seokjin two hours later after you two still didn't show up, then he started going all 'What? What are you saying? No, I never said you two should leave us' and all that," Courtney explained, "Then he said Seokjin offered to take you home and that you two were still together. I got your message minutes later and you said you were doing great so I didn't worry."

"What? But Jin said he asked us to leave you guys…" You trailed off.

"He did? Well Josh never asked you guys to leave."

Oh my God. It didn't make sense. Why would Jin…?

"I'm thinking he wanted to spend more time with you," Courtney says, giving you a teasing look like she knew something. You only look at her. You didn't really know what to say.

It took you a while to sleep that night trying to analyze what was going on with Jin. Every little thing he did stuck in your head and it was making you confused. He affects you now in ways you never thought he ever would, you weren't sure if that terrified you.

One thing's for sure, this was the first time you wanted the weekend to pass by quickly.

You saw Jin on Monday, and the next day, and the day after that. Sometimes you'd practice, other days you'd both just sit down and talk if you were too tired. You still hadn't got the last scene right, both of you were still in the "dialogue-only" phase. Truthfully, you were both just waiting for the other to initiate it first.

On days where you and Jin would decide to just hang out and take a break, you began to notice how much nicer he had become towards you. Apart from that, you noticed him so much more now that you almost admired whatever it was he did.

Today was the last day of your practice and you both finally got through the scene. Tomorrow would be the actual shoot and you were already feeling confident that you'd do well. Just one part made you a bit uneasy, the actual kiss. You could feel how you two were so obviously trying to distract yourselves by doing other things, just to prevent an awkward atmosphere.

"Let's take a break," Jin says tiredly, sitting down on the floor.

"Shouldn't Yoongi be back by now?" You asked and sat down across him.

"No, he's over at his hometown visiting. Says he needs his space on his music project," Jin takes a piece of chip from the bag of snacks you brought, "He'll be back in a few days." You only nodded, staring at the television that was showing a movie with people drinking some fancy wine.

"I want that," you said quietly, mostly to yourself.

"Want what?" Jin looks at you, "That high class society? Fancy people around?"

"No, what they're drinking," You pointed at the wine.

"Wine?" His voice slightly sounding shocked.

"Yeah, I should tell Courtney to go get some…" you muttered absent-mindedly as you continued to watch the people drinking onscreen. Jin suddenly stands up and walks over to their mini fridge. You watched as he pulled a bottle of wine out and proceeded to grab wine glasses from a cabinet.

You sat up straight, not expecting him to actually bring you wine. "What are you doing?"

"You said you wanted wine," he says, setting the glasses down on the small coffee table.

"Yeah, but—" You stared at the bottle, "How do you even have that?"

"Yoongi drinks them to think," He says and pops it open, "I drink them with him." You stared as he poured himself a glass. "Do you want one?" He asks.

You took one of the empty glasses and moved it close to him, so he poured you some as well. Jin sat next to you on the floor as you two sat in silence, watching— no, just staring at the TV screen, sipping on your glasses of wine.

Later on, the TV was shut off and you two went back to talking. Your scripts were set aside on the bed, almost completely forgotten.

"I don't get drunk easily," Jin says, "I think you do, though. You're turning slightly red."

It was either that or because of how close you two were right now.

The wine made you talk so much, much more than usual. Jin found it interesting. He really did have a high alcohol tolerance, and watching you talk about the most random things amused him a lot.

"There's something I wanna know," You spoke, "Two things, actually." This was it. You weren't drunk, but you were beginning to lose the ability to filter the words coming out of your mouth.

"What is it?" He asks softly.

"Why did you tell me Josh told us to leave them alone?" You stared at him, he stared back at you.

"How'd you know about that?" He asks.

"Courtney." You heart beat fast. You knew what you wanted to hear, you just wanted him to say it fast.

"I'll answer you, but you'll have to answer my question after, deal?"

"Deal."

Jin set his glass down before looking deep into your eyes.

"I wanted to spend more time with you." He wanted to say something more than that. Something more serious, but he had to know your answer first.

You weren't sure what to make of that now. It was what you wanted to hear… or was it? Now it could mean completely different things.

"Oh, okay," your face began to heat up, and it wasn't because of the alcohol now, "So what's your question?"

"Why did you hate me so much? I mean, assuming you don't anymore… unless you still do," Jin asks.

"What?"

"What?"

You looked at him, searching for any sign of sarcasm or a tell that he was lying. He wasn't. He looked back at you with a serious expression on his face. There was a silence that lasted for a minute, almost as if time had stopped.

"You don't remember?"

"Don't remember what? Was it something I did?" Jin looks confused. Maybe he really didn't remember. But it only happened eight months ago. Has it really been that long?

"Eight months ago a friend set me up with you," You explained, feeling slightly embarrassed at the context.

"Someone set you up with me?" Jin asks, raising a brow.

"Yeah…" you could feel your face heating up now, "It was supposed to be like a blind date thing, so I initially didn't know it was you. So I went to the place and waited but you stood me up and when I told my friend about it, she told me Kim Seokjin couldn't make it."

"Then when I saw you the next day, you didn't seem to care and it made me so angry— the fact that you never apologized or even talked about it," You continued, "And that made me despise you."

Jin was staring at the floor now trying to recall what happened. He looked lost and confused. He reached out for his glass and took a sip before turning to face you again.

"I don't hate you anymore," You told him, in fact maybe you were beginning to feel the opposite for weeks now.

"Y/n, are you sure that happened? Because I don't remember ever being set up with you—or anyone, for that matter," Jin says, "And believe me when I say that because I've always turned down set ups and blind dates and whatnot."

"Huh?"

"I swear, that really wasn't me. Someone must've used my name."

"Why would someone use your name?"

"I don't know, I—" He runs his hand through his hair, "I've been told there are guys who are jealous of me or something. Maybe they used my name to get back at me."

"That's so low," you felt a pang of guilt now. You've been hating on him for all the wrong reasons, everything suddenly felt like a false memory. If only you'd known sooner, "What the fuck," you muttered quietly.

"What the fuck indeed," Jin sighs.

"I'm so sorry, I should've known," You looked at him.

"No, don't be. I'm sorry you had to go through that, and I apologize you thought it was me all along," He held your hand, "If anything, I should've known. You were never just mean to anyone on purpose. I should've asked you."

There was silence between you two as he stared at both of your hands intertwined, while you stared at his face, trying to get everything to sink in.

"What was your second question?" Jin finally asks.

"Why you stood me up," you laughed, "Turns out you didn't."

"You know," Jin spoke while his free hand reached for his glass. He finishes the drink in his hand before continuing, "If you did ask me out, I wouldn't leave you out in the cold."

You laughed, "Why would I ask you out?"

"I don't know. Got any ideas?" Jin teased. You smiled and bit your lip, not knowing what to say next. The lip bite did things to him, but he was trying his very best not to seem at all fazed before realizing he was already staring at your lips.

Maybe you were tipsy enough to finally do this.

You drank your wine and grabbed your script from the bed. Jin watched as you flipped over to the last scene.

"Michael," you began reading your lines as you stood, Jin's hand leaving yours, "You know we can't do this. It'll ruin everything."

Jin doesn't even need his script anymore due to the countless times you've both practiced the dialogues alone, "It's not gonna ruin everything, or anything for that matter." He stands up to face you.

"Yes, it will. You know how this will risk our friendship. This won't end well."

"Your eyes tell me otherwise."

"I don't—"

"You do, and you know it," Jin moves closer now, and you can feel your heart beating.

"Emily, I love you. I always have, and you know that. I know you feel the same." He places his hand on your waist. There were no lines left for you to read now, just one last thing your characters needed to do.

It was at this point where you both felt the wine was getting to your system.

He leaned in close, staring at your lips as you slowly moved back. When you couldn't anymore, you felt his lips meet yours, and before you knew it, he was kissing you— and you were kissing him back. You could feel his soft lips pressing against yours as your hands travelled up to his chest. You both fell back onto his bed as the kiss progressed into a rougher pattern of movements. Your hands grabbed onto his shirt while one of his hands gripped onto your waist, the other pushed back onto the mattress for support.

When you two pulled away to gasp for air, the awkwardness of the position you two were in never registered your brain. Instead, your eyes met each other's, searching for any sign of denial. When Jin sensed that there was none, he crashed his lips back onto yours.

Your mind was overflowing with euphoria and adrenaline. You were nervous, excited— you didn't know what was going to happen next. The moment his lips started trailing down your neck, small sounds began to escape from your lips. Whimpers that drove Jin wild as he began to pick up the pace.

The scene about to happen was no longer part of the script, but you were both more than willing to play the part.

The next morning, you woke up next to Jin who was sleeping soundly with his arms wrapped around you. Last night's events started coming back to you as you gently tried to squiggle out of his hold.

Panic was the first feeling that rushed over you.

1. The shoot was in a few hours and here you were, dressed in Jin's oversized shirt and sweat pants.

2. Your tendency to over think began creeping in.

What if he only did it because of the heat of the moment? You suddenly felt a wave of embarrassment because you thought you had initiated the whole thing with the script reading and all. Maybe he liked you. Maybe he didn't. Neither of you said anything about liking the other last night, so what if it didn't mean anything? You couldn't deal with this right now, so you silently picked up your things and left.

It was still pretty early in the morning, so you tried your best not to make a sound while Courtney was asleep. You took a shower and got ready before you headed out and went to the place where you had to film.

The group of upperclassmen greeted you as you walked in and made your way to Oliver, who would be directing the whole film.

"Hey, y/n. Glad you're here early, where's Jin?" Oliver asks.

"I think he's on his way," you lied. As if on cue, Jin enters the room and people start to greet him. Oliver calls him and Jin makes his way to you two. You couldn't look at him at all.

"You two should start changing, we'll start in 30," Oliver announces and you two head for the changing rooms. You walked a little faster to avoid conversation.

For the rest of the filming process, you both received compliments from everyone on your acting skills. You barely needed to repeat takes which was a relief. You and Jin had the perfect chemistry.

Jin kept trying to talk to you in between breaks, but you'd just give short and simple answers, sometimes just avoiding him altogether. You just couldn't bring yourself to make any eye contact that wasn't on set, or else you'd feel this churning feeling in your stomach and it made you uncomfortable. Soon enough, Jin got the idea and suddenly turned all silent as he observed your every move.

Finally, you had to shoot the last scene. You tried your very best not to appear bothered which seemed to work because no one has asked about why you look so uneasy. Jin was trying his best not to beg you to tell him what was wrong.

"I want you guys to give this your best shot. This scene is the most important, and I need to see more of your chemistry, got it?" Oliver tells them.

The cameras began rolling and Oliver shouts "action".

"Michael, you know we can't do this. It'll ruin everything." You were sat on a sofa and Jin was standing next to it.

"It's not gonna ruin everything, or anything for that matter." Jin says his line and sits close, next to you. You look back at him.

"Yes, it will. You know how this will risk our friendship. This won't end well." You stood up and turned away from him.

He places his hands on your waist and turns you around for your eyes to meet. He pauses for a brief second before his line, "Your eyes tell me otherwise."

"I don't—"

"You do, and you know it." Jin continues, pulling you closer to him. "Emily, I love you. I always have, and you know that. I know you feel the same." he places his hand on your cheek, and you both stare at each other.

"Maybe I do," you muttered, shocking Jin. He continues the act and finally pulls you in for a kiss. Everything came flashing back. You wanted more than what you two had now, it was so easy to see.

"Cut!" Oliver shouts and he begins to clap and you and Jin began to pull away. He looks at you for a moment, and you look back at him.

"Y/n, that improvisation was amazing!" Oliver shouts, still clapping his hands together. You snap out of it and laugh nervously, "Thanks."

"If I hadn't known better, I'd think you two were seeing each other," Oliver teases, "I'm glad you two took this role. Thanks, you guys."

After a few more praises from Oliver, you headed back to the changing room to wear your normal clothes. Scenes of your kiss and scenes from last night began replaying in your mind. You wanted to ask him what it meant, but you were afraid to be the only one falling.

You left the changing room and decided to leave quietly. As you were about to head out, you heard a voice call from behind you.

"Y/n."

The voice alone made you stop in your tracks. There was no need to turn around to know who it was; it was Jin. He walked over to you, holding your wrist so you would face him.

"You're avoiding me," he spoke. You looked around, checking if the coast was clear. When you decided it was, you soon.

"I'm not," you lied.

"Stop lying," the hurt in his voice was evident, "You are. You wouldn't even answer my texts."

"You texted?" You hadn't checked your phone since you left his apartment, "I haven't checked my phone."

"Why did you leave?" He had this disappointed look on his face. Knowing it was because of you made you feel even worse.

"Honestly? I was scared," you admitted.

"Of what?"

"That we only did that because of the heat of the moment. That it was all just for fun. That it was because of the alcohol. That it meant nothing."

"Is that really what you think?"

"No," You looked down, "I mean, I'd like to think it isn't."

"Y/n, you know it isn't," Jin said quietly.

"I didn't think it was," he admits, making you look up at him, "I meant it all. Me wanting to spend time with you. Walking you home. Kissing you. It all meant something to me."

"It did?"

"Yeah. When you fell asleep before I did, you looked so peaceful. I started thinking about how I could look at you forever, and the thought of waking up next to you made me happy," He held your hand, "But when I woke up, you were gone."

"I'm sorry, Jin, I just—" You sighed, "I thought of all the worst things and left. I panicked. That's really all I can say." He nodded.

"But did you mean what you set on set? Or was it really just improv?" He asked, his eyes staring deeply into yours.

You nodded, "Yeah, I did."

Jin just nodded and looked at your eyes. Had you really upset him this much?

"Jin, I'm really s—"

Before you could finish your apology, Jin takes his free hand and grabs you by the waist, pulling you closer for a kiss.

This time it felt different.

It felt so, real. No alcohol, no script. It was just Jin.

You wanted it to last forever.

When you two finally pulled away, Jin was the first to speak.

"I like you, a lot, y/n. And I've realized that for a while now," he tells you.

"I like you too," you couldn't help but smile, ignoring at how much your cheeks burned. It was fine, Jin's ears were just as red, "Even though you suck at racing games and my ideal boyfriend is an illegal street racer.”

Jin laughs, and you couldn't help but laugh with him because of all this. All the banter turned to compliments and all the eye-rolling turned to kisses. Now you were more than just partners who failed a paper and ended up working on a movie.

"That's alright, Monkey," Jin grins before placing a kiss on your forehead.

"The only thing I need to keep racing is your heart, not a car."

a/n: sorry it got longer than expected. anyways if you read until here, thank you for reading! i hope you liked it! send me comments/asks anytime if u want.

also, if you’d like to read my two other works, here are the links!

let’s fall in love for the night

welcome to my youtube channel

which are both taehyung x readers.

see you in my next fic/edit!

[suspendedinthevalley]

2022-2023 school year goals :)

(i’m posting them here to hold myself accountable)

actual school goals:

- take!!! lots!!! of!!! notes!!! i will have mandatory notes for AP world anyway, so i might as well do them for every class.

- get at least an 85 (mid B) for every class. all As would be nice but that’s probably not possible

- make study guides for tests!! it might be time consuming, but it will be worth it

- don’t wait until 9 or 10 every night to do homework. i wanna do it right when i get home if possible. if i have a break between school and rehearsal, i’ll do it then

- i’m gonna take my laptop to school because the school chromebooks are weird

- get a planner and actually use it. this probably falls under general goals but idc

- i wanna really utilize my study hall, especially during tech and show week

theatre goals:

- i’m gonna do literally everything i can to make my director like me so i have a better chance of getting good roles in the coming years. i may not see immediate results with that, but it will hopefully help in the long run.

- be happy regardless of what role i get. the show will be fun no matter if i’m a lead or ensemble. i will put in 100% no matter what

- make friends with everybody. the seniors, the new freshman, anyone.

- if i have a larger amount of lines, work on memorizing them as soon as i get the script in my hands. use the quizlet strategy again

fitness/health goals:

- continue to work out as often as possible. going to the gym frequently might not be a possibility, so lift weights at home, go for walks, bike rides, etc. just stay relatively in shape

- try to continue eating cleaner. more fruits and cooked things, all that.

- go to bed at 10:30 at the absolute latest on school nights. that will probably change during show weeks, but stick to it the rest of the time. 10:30pm - 6:00 am is roughly 7 and a half hours.

language goals (assuming i get into ASL 2)

- practice for at least ten minutes a day outside of class. review vocab, learn new vocab, work on a song, go on asl.ms or something, anything to further language development.

- ask questions. ask how to sign new things, ask for more practice, anything that comes to mind.

- ask JD (past asl teacher that i’m close with’s pseudonym) about becoming an interpreter, the NIC, ASLPI, all of it.

mental health goals:

- put my mental health above all else. above schoolwork, theatre, any of these other goals. if i’m not where i need to be, none of this other stuff is worth doing.

- advocate for any accommodations i may need, no matter what. i never hold myself accountable for this, and it’s time to do that. i don’t care if i’m too scared. i don’t care if i think i’m annoying or inconveniencing a teacher, because by not getting what i need to be successful, it’ll just create unintentional problems for everyone.

- stay where my feet are. i don’t need to stress over the future right now. college is still far away, i need to focus on my priorities now so i can be ready for then.

- read more. it just makes me happier :)

lastly, social life goals:

- hang out with friends if i feel up for it. i feel like i never see people outside of school, so i want to change that.

- talk. to. everybody. learn about them, their interests, their hobbies, anything. it’ll make bad classes feel less awful.

- make at least one new, good friend :)

[shoichee]

So...👉🏼👈🏼 Could you make a headcannon of ( any characters u want ) reacting to their crush, reader. Being the leader and main dancer in the dance club? Like this...

The characters were walking down hallways while having an conversation ( or arguing?). Then, suddenly they hear a music and see their crush, a beatiful but confident female, practicing the coreo with all her club a dance that they would show the whole school during the lunch. If not, then thank you for at least reading my request.

By;; One of your fans and, of course, readers.

hello, my anon! thank you so much for reading my stuff and supporting me <33 without further ado... here are some long headcanons!

[Dancer f!reader]

Kuroko Tetsuya

he usually hangs out with the Seirin basketball team, where they would all often hide behind the hallway corners to eavesdrop on Riko’s and Hyuga’s next plans for training camps

as they all (not so quietly) trailed after the coach-captain duo down the hallway for them to turn left, Kuroko hears a soft orchestral sound coming from the right turn of said hall

his teammates were too rowdy to even discern the tune in the first place and they only cared to find out where their next torture session would be at, so they all took the left hallway

but Kuroko knew that sound from anywhere… after all that’s all you’ve been practicing to for the past month during breaks and after school

this was one of the few occasions he was glad that he had no presence, because he easily slipped away from his friends to find the source of the melody and to find you in particular

he wordlessly tracks down to your practice room, all the while having his head completely in the clouds… though his face was as stony as ever and gave no sign of his lovestruck affliction

the doors were obviously closed but he could still peep into the room through its windows, and there you were, enveloped in sheer tulle and a natural glow of an experienced performer

you were so completely engrossed into your pirouettes that Kuroko, despite seeing your solo routine alone together after school, can’t help but have sparkles in his eyes as he fixates on your passion and form

his mind drifts to the time he first met you after a home game, and he saw you approaching Riko to congratulate her on a preliminary win before you actually noticed Kuroko and directly praised him for his assisting skills as well

and boy was he SHOOK, he faltered a bit before he managed out a polite “thank you”

it was probably attraction at first sight, he’ll admit, but he actually started to fall for you when you would always come to the home games to support Riko (you unfortunately couldn’t come to away games because of your schedule as a club leader for dance), and pretty soon, you got to chat with a few of the Seirin players as well (including Kuroko)

you knew what you wanted to do for your career and you had everything set out and planned, and Kuroko found that really admirable

someone with a cool head, powerful aura, and charisma kind of reminded him of Akashi and he was here for it

and then he completely fell head over heels when he saw you dancing for the first time during club rush week at the beginning of his 2nd year… it was the way your gaze was so focused, and nothing else mattered to you except the performance, similar to how the Generation of Miracles would enter into the zone—

“Tetsuya?”

“A-ah..”

he didn’t realize that he completely zoned out (pun not intended) because it looks like your club was already done with dress rehearsal, and everyone else was beginning to pack up; you were standing right in front of him, holding the door open

“Sorry, am I in the way, (y/n)-san?”

“Naw, don’t worry,” you said. “Just saw you standing there and I was wondering if you needed something from me.”

yes, he wanted you to reciprocate his feelings, as selfish as he knew it was

“Nothing. Just heard something familiar and stopped by to see.”

“That’s very typical of you,” you chuckled. “Say, are you going to watch our showcase during lunch in a few hours?”

“The showcase advertised all over the bulletin, right?”

“Yeah.”

ah, that’s right, your club was planning to do a free showcase preview during lunch in the auditorium to advertise your ballet recital in a week

“Yeah, I’ll be there to cheer you on this time.”

“Pffftt, you’re too serious,” you laughed, ruffling his hair. Kuroko would normally be irked at the action, but with you, your touch was comforting. “I don’t mind coming to your games, I come for fun, and I don’t think of them as obligations. You don’t have to go if you don’t want to. I know most find ballet pretty dull—”

“I want to go, though. I don’t find it boring, (y/n)-san,” Kuroko said with a smile

your eyes widened as your hand in his hair stilled

“Really?”

“Really.”

“Since when were you into ballet?” you hummed, clearly meant to tease him in good fun, and you started to ruffle through his hair again

“Ever since I fell for you.”

Kise Ryota

Kise, even though being an idol-figure himself, is a fanboy of many idol groups and bands

he’s always looked for you during breaks, knowing you’d be in the dance room to practice with your small group of members

why? well, he wants to see you dance, especially when your club does dance covers of other prominent idols

he’s tried (emphasis on tried) to ditch practice once in a while to go see you in your element, even if it’ll always end up with him being pulverized by Kasamatsu himself

this time though, when he heard that your club was going to cover some big-hit performances during the schoolwide pep rally during lunch, he couldn’t resist the urge to get a “sneak peek”

he basically RAN down the hallway, blatantly ignoring the warnings the teachers gave down the aisle, to escape Kasamatsu and to get to you as soon as he could so he could have more time to watch

as he ran closer, his ears register the very familiar hip hop, urban, and pop songs emanating from the room

“(Y/n)-cchi!!!”

“Kise? What are you even doing here?”

“I came to watch your practice—”

“But you always do,” you sighed, crossing your arms in mild annoyance. “Besides, you’re going to see the exact choreography at the rally anyways. Don’t you already know the choreo yourself? Aren’t you a fan of these groups?”

“But I won’t be able to see you up close like thiiiiis,” Kise whines. “You’re always so cool when you dance, is it so wrong that I always want to see you dance?”

there was his signature puppy eyes that would normally make most girls weak in their knees

“I’m flattered,” you deadpanned, managing to stare down at Kise even though he was much taller than you. “But you’re cutting into our time right now, so you should either leave or sit quietly like a good boy and keep it shush.”

“Sheesh, so demanding…” he pouted, but nonetheless reluctantly sat himself on the chair like a petulant child

his petty anger quickly dissipates when your club got into position, with you at the center, and started the entire routine

even though everyone was just lipsyncing to the songs as they performed the dance covers back to back, he really thought everyone, especially you, embodied the essence of a real idol group

you had the aura, energy, passion, and charisma of an idol leader… not to mention the looks

Kise honestly saw you as his ultimate role model and idol, if he was going to be honest

to outsiders, it genuinely looked like you and Kise didn’t get along, but it couldn’t be further from the truth

okay, yes, maybe your first impressions on him weren’t that great

Kise first laid eyes on you when your recently new club performed for the first time at a talent show to promote for more members the following year, and he asked Moriyama if he knew who you were

“Right?? (Y/n)-san is cute! But don’t go near her—”

“Relax, Moriyama-senpai, I was just curious.”

and he started seeing your face popped up more around school, and your name being brought up more frequently among students (particularly his fangirls, who envy and admire you for different reasons)

you apparently started the club yourself (like Teppei with Seirin’s basketball team)

he was then intrigued and wanted to judge you for himself… and that’s when he started to show up to your room after practice to annoy you or would bump into you in the hallways

you, not wanting to deal with his shit, told him off in front of everyone

as much as Kise was shocked out of his wits, he couldn’t believe anyone had the balls to say that while risking their reputation… even Kasamatsu wasn’t THAT confrontational

he fell for you… HARD

he visits you DURING practice from that point on and while you hated it at first and tried to scare him away, he was just too stubborn

so you let him be

and you eventually learned that Kise was surprisingly dependable

he’d always insist on walking you home after practice

while you are still wary of him sometimes, you no longer find him completely unbearable… except when Kise would make it a huge deal to cheer your name OUT LOUD in the audience every time you performed, which was BEYOND embarrassing and headache-inducing

“Wow… I can’t believe you haven’t auditioned for an idol label yet, (y/n)-cchi,” Kise thought… more like he accidentally slipped out

but hypothetically, if you did pass an audition, he wouldn’t be able to get to see you as much anymore…

by now, your club was wrapping up practice and you came over to Kise to whack his head

“I told you to keep it shush, didn’t I?”

“You’re so mean! Your practice is done, isn’t it?!”

“You think I’m going to audition for a company?” you scoffed, but nonetheless mirth danced across your eyes; you knew he was trying to change the subject

“It was just a stray thought,” he mumbled, averting his eyes while pouting

“Really now,” you said, narrowing your eyes. “If I really did become one, I wouldn’t have much time to be here, now wouldn’t I?”

“(Y/n)-cchi! Are you saying that you…”

“On second thought, even if I’d miss class so much, I can at least avoid you and your incessant shouting.”

“Wha—! You’re so cruel—!”

“I’m joking, Kise.”

“(Y/n)-cchiiiiiii!” he fake-cries as he tries to glomp on your figure, only for you to expertly sidestep his lunge

“You better not scream out during the pep rally.”

spoiler alert: he, indeed, kept shouting out your name at the volume of a thousand decibels like a true fanboy during lunch

Kasamatsu Yukio

“I do not like (y/n)-san in that way!”

typical Kaijo team dynamics: during practice, everyone obeys the captain side of Kasamatsu without question, but outside of basketball? everyone picks on him the most

“Sure, sure, senpai,” Kise would often say, with Moriyama giving him consoling shoulder pats

“Screw off, or I’m giving you 5 extra drill runs—”

“Look, look, he’s turning red! He’s turning red!”

needless to say, the hallways were filled with a huge ruckus of chattering and shouts over Kasamatsu’s “problem,” aka you

he never saw you in that light

or at least… he used to not see you in that way

he admired your leadership skills; you were reputed across the school as the leader of the most coordinated group of performers who would travel to other cities to perform on televised festivals, local outdoor shows, and competitions

he would often hear your spartan-like commands to other performers outside, like “you three are off beat on 1, when you should be on the and of 2!″ and “your formations are too cluttered, spread out!”

sometimes, your group borrowed the gym because it’s much more spacious to practice in, and that’s where he REALLY saw you being a leader and a performer

if the Kaijo basketball team was the cream of the crop of all sports clubs, then the Kaijo performance group was the cream of the crop for all visual and performing arts

the group performed in all styles of dance, from traditional to modern and contemporary, and the fact that you seemed to know what to do on every new stage gave him motivation to do more as a captain to not “get left behind” for a lack of better term

he respected you like how he would respect Hyuga, Kuroko, and Kagami, but he never saw you as a “girl”

which was why he was able to talk to you normally and become good mutuals so easily

it’s the way you talked about your interests so passionately, it just made it really relatable and easy to strike up conversation with you, because you and him are similar in so many ways

well… that was… until his own teammates noticed and kept pestering him about the fact that you were a “girl” and that it was strange that he talked to you normally

so now he couldn’t undo his perspective of you, and he became HYPER AWARE of everything about you

so now he was noticing your mannerisms, your habits when you were idly thinking, the way your costumes and attire clinged to your figure or the way the stage makeup accentuated your features… the little things like that just really cemented the fact that you were not just “a dude”

“Drop it already,” Kasamatsu said, glaring at his teammates, who already looked like they’re in tears of laughter

Kise, even through the teasing, wanted the best for Kasamatsu, so he insisted he should just confess

and Kasamatsu is denying to his dying breath how he doesn’t see you that way

here these two are, going back and forth until it escalated into an argument after Kise insults him for being a coward

the rest of the teammates had to pull the two of them off each other so they could both cool their heads off

and Kasamatsu is stalking off alone in the halls, fist and teeth clenching as he figures out how to destroy Kise at practice after school… until he heard a faint oriental-sounding instrumental, and he immediately knew you were near

so he runs to the source of the sound… only to see you practicing alone in an empty club room, which is odd, since you normally practice with everyone

he’s too shy to do anything other than to look at you through the door window, being completely red when he’s, yet again, aware of how your body moved

all of the sudden, you stopped and frowned at yourself and sighed

was there something wrong?

you would never make a harsh expression, unless it was for the sake of acting when you danced, since you were normally so put-together

the want to help you overcome your troubles overrides his self-consciousness of this “crush” of his

“(Y/n)-san,” Kasamatsu called out, letting himself in after announcing his presence

“Kasamatsu? What brings you here?”

“Heard something… so uh,” he paused. “I came to check it out, but it seems like you’re troubled. Is there anything I can… do to help?”

“Ah…” you started. “We have to board the bus soon for a competition during lunch. It’s going to be televised everywhere too… I just want to get some last-minute practice, so nothing goes wrong…”

“I admire you alot,” Kasamatsu said seriously. “You inspire me to keep working harder.”

“Huh?”

“But try not to overwork yourself, your members will definitely notice if their leader is off their game,” Kasamatsu said. “I would know from experience.”

“Are you trying to cheer me up?” you laughed, to which Kasamatsu doesn’t fail to notice

“W-w-well, that’s—”

“Thank you, Kasamatsu,” you smiled. “Hearing your advice makes me want to ace this and make sure our performance will take the win.”

“Y-yeah…” he said, stretching his neck and shoulders out of nervousness

“Make sure you tune into our performance live during lunch, okay?” you leaned towards him playfully with your hands behind your back. “I’d be really happy if I knew you were there supporting me.”

“Y-yeah…”

[gebtoons]

my contribution to the bapo timeline discourse bc i’m just gonna propose a timeline and will not be taking criticism <3 (under the cut bc this is gonna be a long post probably) 

ok disclaimer I am quite stupid, however I’m gonna use my knowledge from my own 12 years in american public high school and what little info I have about american boarding schools/catholic schools that I have from my friends lol. so. idk. 

i’m also gonna date songs/major events and i’m gonna be taking some “just trust me bro” liberties bc y’all are right it does NOT make that much sense. 

January 6: Epiphany; this is like an actual holiday lol. like its always on the sixth. idk its good that this is the starting point bc its an actual date yknow? For the purposes of this timeline were going with that its early in the week, so lets go with Monday idk

January 6-13: You and I, Role of a Lifetime; so we’re all kinda in agreement that this timeline (at least the beginning) only really makes sense if you and i/role of a lifetime aren’t like. a singular moment and are instead multiple days. so yeah, of this first week, this is like. monday-next sunday ish yknow. 

January 14: Auditions, Plain Jane Fatass; ok so having auditions for a spring musical right after kids get back from break actually makes perfect sense to me, like i can see it being like “ok take break to prepare so as soon as you come back we can have auditions so we can jump right into rehersals” yknow? and since the rave is clearly on a friday (”we’ll meet in tanya’s room on friday night”) so i’m going with the monday before.  

as for pjf, i know it doesn’t make a ton of sense for them to get a two week late birthday package their first few weeks back from school, but hear me out it makes sense. the implication throughout this entire show is that the twins have decently shitty parents. from bits of dialogue (in this song in particular lol) i’m kinda inferring their the “only concerned with how their kids make them look to others” kind of neglectful. so I don’t think it’s too outside the realm of possibility that they went away for the holidays, didn’t bring the twins, and instead mailed them a birthday package and having it show up two weeks late. realistically the timing of this isnt that important and the explicit “two week” time frame could’ve been an exaggeration on nadia’s part to mock her shit parents (idk its in her character) basically ppl are a little two fixated on this imo but anyway. moving on. 

January 18: Wonderland, A Quiet Night At Home, Rolling, Best Kept Secret; a very agreed upon point in the timeline. its the friday following the auditions. moving on. 

January 21: Confession; also very agreed upon. the monday following the rave. moving on again 

January 23: Portrait of a Girl; the date here is kinda arbitrary, but bc sister chantelle says “ok lets try to put yesterday’s rehearsal behind us” and i for the life of me cannot think of a scene she could be referring to (there’s none in the script either) that implies it wasn’t the same monday as confession (bc even in a boarding school i think holding extracurriculars that aren’t sports over the weekend (especially when they are no where near crunch time lol) is weird and not common) so i just picked a random day during the week

January 25: Birthday Bitch!, One Kiss, Are You There?; from matt’s line in wonderland, ivy’s birthday is a week after the rave. in my timeline that’s january 25th (an aquarius queen). 

btw given all grown up’s “17, how will i manage?” ivy is 16 during 17 at her party, which is strange given shes a high school senior and seniors are typically 17 during 18. so either a) she skipped a grade, not an unheard of thing. or b) shes not a senior, shes just a junior who hangs out with a bunch of seniors, which is also pretty common. and looking through the script i can’t find any mention that she is also a senior, other than yknow she graduates with them, but she isn’t mentioned during the class ranking scene? so idk not that it really matters just a fun detail 

February 3 (at night): 911 Emergency!; ok controversial. i know i like the joke about how its funny that peter having a weird dream when he was high prompted him to want to come out and really ruined his relationship with jason. BUT. i think the dream (despite it’s weirdness) would have a lot more meaning if it wasn’t the result of being really high, but if it was a dream he had like a week later as a result of a building sense of guilt/anxiety bc he told matt. also it fits better given later timeline things. (this timeline literally only exists if there are weird jumps in time that don’t make a ton of sense) (EDIT: I forgot one line about Jason crashing at ivys but fuck it forget that bitchass line this makes for more drama its staying this way)

February 4: Reputation Stain’d, Ever After; the next day following peter’s dream, idk what else to say, moving on. 

February 25-28: Spring; another jump! i’m sorry but the only way for this to make sense logistically is for there to be quite a few time jumps! however, i also think this one works bc i think it gives time for everything from around ivy’s party and peter and jason’s break up to stew emotionally. like obviously a musical only has so much time to tell a story so the audience cannot see every realistic beat, but honestly i think it makes the whole thing a little more dramatic™ if there’s space for everything to settle, and for ivy to come and apologize and such. also, the reason it’s multiple days is bc in the script, ivy is trying to study (presumably for some sort of midterm) while nadia is playing, so that probably takes place a few days before they move out, so before finals. but in the script, jason and peter are packing and peter is leaving, so that part of the song/staging takes place on the 28th. yes, that’s weird, but we are clearly thinking more about the logistics of this school than the writers were so. 

March 1: One; assuming st. cecilia’s works kinda like boarding schools here, they probably do staggered move out/move in, just bc that would be a lot to have people coming and going at once so it makes sense that peter left the day before, while jason and ivy are leaving the next day. also, given that peter is trying to call jason while he and ivy are banging, it’s probably been a hot minute since the actual break up, since peter was clearly very hurt by the whole thing, it would make sense (at least to me) that peter would reach out a month ish later, rather than like a few days later (you have to make so many assumptions to make this timeline work granted they aren’t super out there assumptions but still this is annoying) 

March 1-25: Spring Break. the coworkers I have who are in boarding school work over their school breaks, which are longer than the public school breaks (which are only a week) so i put their spring break at 3 weeks. it makes sense, and it makes the later part of the timeline make sense. 

I know i’m already halfway through this, but to me it makes sense for their to be quite a few time jumps in the story bc its a musical. they cannot show every day. there are a lot of other shows (particularly shows set in high schools) that are set over a whole school year, but if you just look at the events of the story that doesn’t make sense, so you have to imply that obviously they are not showing every little detail. moving on. 

March 25: Wedding Bells, In The Hallway, Touch My Soul; peter wakes up from his nightmare in the church, so im assuming he fell asleep in church (like he almost did during epiphany). also it makes sense that class ranks are announced in late march-early april, I know my school announced ours in like, the first week or so of april? so yeah. moving on.

(from this point on i was giving myself a headache trying to make it make sense so its all weird from here!!)

April 4: See Me, Warning; the date doesn’t really matter here, I picked a random day in early april. the script said peter is calling from him and jason’s old dorm room, as he was picking up the last of his things, so he clearly made the roommate switch after school started (makes sense to me). 

April 15-20 (approximately): Ivy finds out she’s pregnant. look google tells me on average people find out they are pregnant around 5-7 weeks after conception. i went with around 7 just so this timeline makes a tiny bit more sense given the later stuff, so yeah here we go. 

May 4: Pilgrim’s Hands, God Don’t Make No Trash, All Grown Up, Promise, Once Upon A Time, Cross; a rough night for our heroes. so given sister chantelle saying “again? wonderful.” and nadia saying “i can’t believe you missed rehearsal again”, clearly ivy has been missing quite a few rehearsals, so for dramas sake maybe from when she found out she was pregnant? also i know i’ve been saying they wouldn’t have rehearsals on weekends, and given my weird timeline this would be a saturday, but its tech week so i’ll allow it. 

May 5: Two Households, Bare, Queen Mab, A Glooming Peace; pretty self explanatory, and it makes sense to have the spring play in early may. rip jason. 

May 11: Absolution; the day before graduation peter goes to confront the priest. gives him a small amount of time to start processing, and it makes sense it would be the night before, at least to me. 

May 12: No Voice; i fucking hate this. “peter, we graduate next sunday” i hate that stupid fucking line. do you know that this timeline literally would be fine if it weren’t for that stupid fucking line? bc then, the school play would be in early may and graduation could be in late may-early june (when most high schools hold graduation) but no. keeping with continuity, they have to graduate the sunday following the school play. “peter we graduate in a month, are you really never gonna talk to me again?” would have been fine. but no, now we have beef. literally everything else about the end of this timeline being kinda weird would work itself out, except for the fucking graduation. god damn. anyway, may 12th, the graduate on may 12th which is really fucking weird bc of that one fucking line. whatever. i didn’t write the damn thing bc if i did i wouldn’t have written that fucking line. (i’ve been at this for over an hour and a half, so i’m a tad annoyed, can you tell?) 

anyway, that’s it. that’s my long as hell proposed bare timeline. if there’s anything glaringly wrong with it i don’t care bc this timeline literally cannot make sense. but honestly, now that i think about the Popular Tween High Schooler Musicals (heathers, bmc, deh) the timelines of those (especially heathers and bmc) don’t make tons of sense either. that’s just the way it is, that’s the way its gonna be. and we have to live with it. 

this post is so long it is actually slowing down my laptop as i type it

[cinephilediary]

A Memory

by: Kila Gallo

Sitting on a soft minimalist chair with a backrest, sipping on an iced white mocha-caramel coffee with some tiramisu on the side of the table, tied my long soft ash-brown-balayage hair in a clean bun with some baby hair strands on the side. Instead of the country side music, I prefer to listen and notice the loud breeze outside, while people come and go as they receive their cup of coffee. I am just here, silently typing on my keyboard, specs on, looking at my laptop’s screen; doing some work related stuff. Its been five years now, and I couldn’t help but wonder if… if I could see you or even just have the opportunity to glance at you, here, again.

“I’m going to school now Mom, bye!” I kissed on her cheek then walked through my way out of the house, still biting a piece of bread. It is 7:00 in the morning and I have to hurry for my first class. Dad is now waiting for me inside the black sedan car together with my little brother to drive us to school. Oh! I haven’t introduced myself yet, my name is Shi Gutierrez, a typical grade nine student.

“Shi! Faster! Mrs. Data is almost here!” Hazel shouted at me when she’s on the second floor and I am still at the school grounds. By that time, I started running upstairs in order for me not to get late and receive a punishment. Our school is definitely strict in terms of time thus I really have to run. I catch my breath as I sit down on my chair, I gasp and sigh heavily knowing that there's still no teacher yet, and fortunately, after minutes, Mrs. Data, our English teacher, entered the room and announced something that would be the start of something. “Good morning class! Since this week is the start of the English Month Celebration, I am tasking you to execute a stage play of the novel, Romeo and Juliet” she smiled angelically. Everyone were shocked that only our Class president answered, “When is it ma’am?”

“In the coming month, I still have no idea for the final and exact date but be ready! Any questions?” the room filled with silence. 

“Okay class, I want you to prepare for it because this is going to be a competition! Anyway, we will not have our classes starting today. I want you to focus on the preparation for your stage play! I am expecting so much from you since you are the first section, okay? See you!”

After leaving, the room was filled with noise of excitements. Then, my group of friends started teasing me to be part of the stage play because they knew I had some experiences. Time flies so fast, I, and my girl group of friends are now about to go to the school canteen to buy our lunch. We are seven girls in total and our classmates often call us as “girl group” because we would always gather to stick together and talks too loud. In the group, I am the one whose not easy to read, sometimes I would go silent and there are days wherein I would start the noise. People would always described me as a “social butterfly” and I kind of agree to the thought of it because I kind of know everyone here in our school, down from the school helpers, school guards to the higher positions. When we went back to our room, holding our drinks, everyone is occupied with their own businesses. Then without any hesitations, our class president stood up in front of the class, calling everyone’s attention. He discussed the agenda of finding who are the people who will act to be the characters of the play. While I am listening, the girls still pushes me to join, it was all fun until he, Mr. Class President looked directly at my way.

“Oh Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art thou Romeo?” Yes, they appointed me to act as Juliet in the coming English month stage play competition. I did not even had the opportunity to decline because no one wants to do it either. We are now at the school grounds, amid the scorching sun, rehearsing our lines in our coming play. I already have prepared my costumes, props and other needed stuff. Everyone is participating since this is a whole-section project, thus, those who are not assigned as an actor or actresses are tasked for the making of props, backdrops, costumes, music and other tasks. By the way, the man who will act as the Romeo in our section, is our class president.

Everyone is currently occupied with their own tasks that keeps them bustle. I am at the backstage, fully prepared, wearing my first attire for the first act, a long beautiful dress, my hair is curled tied in a high bun. This is the day we have long prepared for.

“My only love sprung from my only hate. Too early seen unknown, and known too late!”

 After our section’s performance, our director told us to stay and watch the presentation of other sections. I was definitely excited to watch, to see the other perspectives of the play but when the third section finished, I asked my girl group to accompany me to the restroom to change because I don’t feel comfortable with my costume anymore. But, when we are approaching the door to go inside the school hallways, where the nearest restroom is located, my friends approached this boy, lone with his bag and used-props. “He’s the Romeo of the last stage play” I mumbled on myself. I know no one even heard me because when I looked at him again, he is now surrounded by the girls. They are asking him something, and when I went nearer, he looks more serious, still in his Romeo-outfit, fixing his necktie, smoothly removing his vest and folding some props made of paper to fit on his small paper bag. Then my friend, Rose started teasing him and I was in awe because I don’t know him, yet these girls act like they knew him. “Can I have that sword?”, “The flower is nice, give it to me!” they are forcing him to give them his things and I was just there watching him really give the things the girls asked to. Then, Rose looked at me, and that’s the signal that it is now my turn to ask him, “I want your necklace!” without any hesitations, I proudly told him. I don’t even know what to get and ask from him because I’m not interested with his props and the only thing I saw that is something useful, is the necklace suspended on his neck; a silver one with a small rectangular pendant looking good with his outfit. Then, he paused for a while, looking at me intently. I thought he’s going to give it to me, just like how easy it is for him to give his other belongings to the girls. But, he continued fixing his things and didn’t bother to mind me. After the deafening silence, finally, the girls forbid their goodbyes to that Romeo-boy, I don’t know what to feel, I am not ashamed of what have happened, I admit that it is weird at some point because we don’t know each other. All I really want to do is to change my clothes! “Its okay Shi, don’t be sad” Rose said when we went inside the restroom. What? “Yes Shi, maybe he was tired since he played the character of Romeo. Actually, he was really good! He’s better with our section’s Romeo!” Ann declared, then they all laughed.

Since every section made an amazing presentation during the English month stage play competition, Mrs. Data promised us to be rewarded with good and fair grades. Its been three weeks since that event happened, and now while everyone thought that it will be rest days next week, our class president together with the vice president, entered the room with some news to disseminate. “Okay listen! Next Friday there will be a Seminar Workshop in Filipino in line with the celebration of Filipino Month. Everyone must attend because this is going to be our attendance.”

“A celebration for the Filipino Month” Rose red the tarpaulin outside our school gate. It is 8:00 in the morning and we are currently waiting in line to enter the audio visual room where the event will take place. When we reached the door, our class president gave each one of us a name tag with a lanyard. He said that we are supposed to wear it the whole day. Since we are the first section, we had the opportunity to sit in front. The event started and the flow of the program went light, there are guest speakers who used to be theatre actors and now teaches Filipino subject and acting. Since it is a workshop, other guest speakers call some representative from each sections to participate. Then, lunch time came. We are about to go to the school canteen when he, our class president called me. He gave me a bottle of watermelon shake and a biscuit. “Why?” I asked him. He just stood there, smiling, wearing his eye glasses, unable to talk.

And finally, the event ended, it lasted for many hours! Its time for the photo opportunity with the guest speakers. We are the first one to take photos with them and can go home after. The section two is now ready for the photo opportunity thus I went back on my seat and started fixing my stuff, when I am ready to go, my friends ask me to wait for them. So, I sat on the arm desk of the chair, feet still on the ground, to prevent losing control and balance. I was watching the other students taking pictures with the guests until a pair of arms wrapped around my neck blocking my view, I stiffened from my position and unable to move. He move backwards after putting a necklace on me, then that's when I knew, the Romeo boy! I wasn’t able to speak, looking intently at him and he smiled. “Sorry its late”, What? What’s late? Why are you just talking to yourself be mad at him! He invaded your personal space! “And sorry for almost touching you, but I didn’t” he said in his low voice. What now? Do you hear me? “Honestly, I cant give you this” he holds his silver necklace suspended on his neck just like when I first saw him “my father gave it to me, so I bought a new one for you. Hope you like it.” Oh. Whats happening? Why I couldn’t utter any words right now. Then he smiled and turn his back on me. Leaving me in awe, unable to move nor speak. What was that? My heart beats so fast. Its a foreign feeling, something I only feel towards him.

“Hot Americano for Rald!” the counter called for the customer. Then I was stiffened from my seat. I looked down, forcefully closing my eyes, “Don’t look!” I mumbled on myself. But the heart made the final judgment, I looked at the counter, meters away from me. No one is taking the coffee. I glanced on the other direction, there, I saw him, wearing a white fitted polo that compliments his masculinity, paired with a black trousers and a pair of black leather shoes. A luster from his necklace caught my attention, it is the same necklace before. A smooth swift of the chair then he stand proudly and walked towards his way to the counter, eyes on his silver watch, looks like he need to hurry. The romantic background music from the cafe makes me lose my track, my heart keeps beating so fast, with one hand, he gently holds his cup of coffee, with no emotion on his eyes, then, he suddenly turned his gaze directly at me. I stiffened from my position, can not able to look away. Those brown eyes I used to gladly stare at, are the same pair of eyes I’ve long forgotten. He looked away. Turned his back at me and went out of the cafe. I can now barely see him. I thought he’s not going to be here today, just like the past years. Now that he glanced at me, I can tell, that he don’t recognized me. Do people really can forget someone they’ve spent years with? Do they really forget everything through the years? Maybe people really forget things and people they chose to forget. But, I hope its a different matter in my case. According to his doctor, there are high chances of obsolete lose remembrance on his case, after the heart operation. Does the heart really forgets?

Maybe,

I should come here again, 

more often.

[hetacon]

Prom Queen: Chapter 5

First || Previous || Next

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Word Count: 1,920

Pairings: Endgame Prinxiety, Platonic LAMP, more could be included at a later point

Warning: Swearing, mentions of p*rn, mentions of drugs and underage drug use, slight internal panic attack

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Summary: The popular kids were interesting for sure, they definitely weren’t exactly like Virgil had expected them to be but at the same time they kind of were.

(Make sure you read all the way to the end if you want to hear my thoughts on the chapter, and let me know if you want to be added to the taglist for this story, my art, or writing! I hope you guys enjoy!)

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Music blared through Virgil’s headphones as he and Roman sat with the popular kids again. Virgil wasn’t feeling up to talking much with them today so he had out his sketchbook, mindlessly making marks on the page. He was totally spacing out, too occupied by his latest worry of the week.

He very nearly jumped out of his skin as one of his earbuds was pulled out of his ear and he scrambled to pause the My Chemical Romance song that he’d been playing to drown out his thoughts the best he could, putting his phone face down in his lap. Virgil registered the person next to him laughing loudly at his jumpiness and he looked over to see Nick nearly doubling over from how hard he laughed.

‘It really wasn’t that funny, you scared me asshole,’ Virgil thought bitterly to himself before mentally shaking his head. ‘He didn’t do anything rude.. Well, that rude, calm down Virgil, you’re overreacting again. These are Roman���s friends, they’re starting to like you.’

“Sorry dude but that was the funniest shit I’ve ever seen, holy crap,” Nick chuckled, leaning back as he crossed his arms. He looked over to Virgil finally and nodded. “So what was up with that? You looked like you were about to shit yourself.”

Virgil’s brows furrowed. “Force of habit, I guess,” he muttered out.

“Oh yeah? What were you doing, watching porn or some shit?” A grimace came over Virgil’s face as Nick asked but he tried to not look too disgusted.

Quick, what was the appropriate answer? How did people usually talk about that type of stuff? Should he take it seriously? Consider it a joke? Punch him in the arm like the jocks he saw all the time in his physics class?

Luckily, Roman cleared his throat and raised an eyebrow. “Hey, that’s not cool, he’s clearly not comfortable, Nicholas,” he said, giving Nick a leveling look.

Nick put his hands up and shrugged. “Only joking dude, what he does with his time is his business. Wouldn’t blame him if it was though!” Another laugh rang out as one of the other guys sitting next to Nick punched him in the arm, much to Virgil’s satisfaction. At least someone punched him.

“Gross, shut the hell up!” the person who punched Nick told him with an obnoxiously grating laugh. “You’re sick, dude.”

Virgil tried to ignore the conversation but as he tried to put his earbud back in, he noticed Nick had it in his ear. He just couldn’t get away from them could he? He signed up for this admittedly though.

“Sorry, anyways, Virge, why’d you jump like that, for real?” Nick finally asked as he and the other guy stopped spitting insults at each other.

“I have strict parents, they don’t like anything remotely mature. They always call my stuff out if it has language in it so I just don’t let them see any music I listen to anymore,” Virgil found himself explaining, opening his phone to play a popular song that had been making the rounds around school rather than continuing through “I’m Not Okay (I Promise)” like he desperately wanted to. Just one more thing Virgil had to be careful of. No more of his own music at school from now on, got it.

“Fuck, strict parents suck! Like, seriously, let me live my fucking life!” Nick scoffed out. “I just want to vape in fucking peace, they don’t need to get all pissy about it. It’s my fucking life right?”

Virgil looked up to Roman for a possible escape from the conversation, Roman knew he wasn’t a huge fan of people even talking about drugs, but Roman was staring down at his phone, texting someone. He looked upset anyways, Virgil probably shouldn’t make him feel worse.

“I mean, I don’t know, my parents aren’t the worst. I know they love me even if they aren’t good at showing it.”

“Nah, parents are assholes, adults are assholes really. They act like they can control you, it blows!” Nick complained.

Virgil only half-listened to the conversation, the other half of his attention going to trying to not have a panic attack. He took a look at the time and put away his sketchbook after making a mental note that he didn’t get very far into the sketch.

“Hey Virge, mind getting something with me real quick?” Roman asked and Virgil’s head snapped up as he nodded quickly.

The two started to walk off in the direction of their classes, Roman letting out a sigh when they were far enough.

“That wasn’t nice of him, sorry for not really... Doing much. I know you don’t like attention being drawn to you, I didn’t know if you wanted me to step in or not.”

“No, it’s fine! I’m just, you know, getting to know your friends I guess!” Virgil laughed out a little too brightly for his usual attitude. He’d been acting more like that around Roman though lately, Roman barely seemed to notice from what he saw.

“Are you sure..? I know you really don’t like those topics and he was practically steamrolling over any chance for you to stop him. I should’ve stepped in, I’m sorry,” Roman said with a hand rubbing his temple. Virgil watched him closely, noticing the way his shoulders locked up. He clearly looked beyond displeased.

“If it’s just for my comfort, I’m fine. I’d tell you if anything was happening, yeah? It’s what best friends do,” Virgil hummed out with a smile, bumping Roman’s shoulder with his own as they continued walking.

Roman glanced over wearily, a small smile on his face as the bell finally rung, signifying the start of class. “Yeah,” he merely replied, before the two parted ways.

The popular kids were interesting for sure, they definitely weren’t exactly like Virgil had expected them to be but at the same time they kind of were. The group was a bit fluid, some of the people that Virgil and Roman sat with tended to stay every day while others came and went. There wasn’t a super strict clique structure that was upheld but there didn’t seem to be a lot of the nerdier groups represented by the group, it mostly consisted of jocks, preps, and random drifters who tended to throw good parties. All of them had some sense of social standing in the school, many people knew them, and they were generally liked outside of the some of the people in the “lower” social statuses. Virgil definitely fit into at least one of these lower statuses but he seemed to be getting a pass due to being Roman’s friends. Luckily the theater kids were essentially accepted as popular kids even if some would be inclined to disagree.

Most of the conversations they got into wasn’t anything that interested Virgil, it mainly consisted of them complaining over homework and “strict” teachers (Seriously, why the hell would teachers actually let someone vape in the middle of class?) and their parents as well as a shit ton of gossip. There was literally so much gossip. So and so cheated on her boyfriend when he was cheating on her too, someone ended up getting in trouble for a tip-off about drugs in their backpack, these two kids got in a fight over some pointless drama and one ended up shoving off a teacher when they’d attempted to break off the fight. It was way more than Virgil thought was even going on at his school as he tended to stay away from pretty much everyone possible but regardless, it all was just as stupid as he expected. Virgil had no idea how they found any excitement out of talking about how people messed up or were fucked over by someone else. He wasn't sure what he was doing anymore but if nothing else, high school was supposed to be confusing right? That's what everyone always said, no one said anything different.

A sign of progress, if Virgil could even call it that was when one of them decided to sit next to him in his English class. The two of them would chat though Virgil barely managed to understand or be engaged in the conversation half of the time. Virgil definitely hated him when he asked Virgil to make up an excuse for him while he vaped in the bathroom and Virgil barely managed to sputter out that he told Virgil he felt a little nauseous but would be ok. It was insane to see the guy come back and roll with the excuse when the teacher asked if he needed to go to the nurse when he got back. Virgil felt his stomach curl when he shot him a wink with a click of his tongue.

"So hey, I was thinking you guys, we've all been pretty busy lately," Patton said as Logan was driving them out for lunch after school.

"Yeah? What's up Pat?" Roman asked, leaning against Virgil in the backseat. Virgil very slightly leaned in, finally relieved to have it just be the three of his closest friends surrounding him as Dodie played on the radio. This was nice, it seemed more simple like this, Virgil almost forgot all his worries as the conversation started up.

"I was thinking about us doing something over fall break and whatnot! Unless there are family plans and whatnot which is cool but I'm free and so is Logan so we wanted to see if you and Virgil would want to!" Patton grinned to Virgil.

"I dunno, it sounds good to me if you wanted to," Virgil told him, before looking over to Roman. "You in?"

Roman sighed and groaned loudly, running a hand over his face. "I so want to but it might be tricky scheduling, the theater teacher is being a bit of a bitch about rehearsing over break. I can't very well miss it and I don't want to promise I'll be there. But even if I can't find a way around it, you guys can absolutely do so and send me lots of pictures!" He gently nudged Virgil's shoulder and despite the heaviness Virgil felt in his gut, he nudged back, giving a sympathetic smile.

"Hey, it's cool. Pat and Logan and I will hang out, no problem. We'll make sure to make plans for the four of us sometime soon ok?" Virgil told him, the weight coming off of him slightly as Roman let out a relaxed laugh, hugging Virgil close. Virgil felt his face grow exceedingly hot but he tried to push down the feeling.

"Yeah, that sounds awesome, I love you guys so much!"

"Oh, are you guys going to need anyone to paint sets? You know I'm always down," Virgil offered, glad to hear the excitement in Roman's answer.

The conversation kept going, they meandered from that to a new show Roman and Patton had both started watching, Logan gave them some of the details of a new robot he was helping to code. Virgil even showed Roman some of his newly finished sketches in the leather bound book (which was now getting a fair amount of use) even if Roman had already seen them halfway done. It felt easy, it felt nice, and Virgil felt like he could breathe. And that scared him a little.

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It is absolutely so strange to write popular kids, I don’t think it’s going to be the easiest for me! Luckily the next chapter is going to be very popular kid free so I don’t have to worry about that! Honestly, their dialogue is the reason the chapters take so long! I don’t find things like gossip and whatnot interesting, it doesn’t make sense since I’m neurodivergent. I’m trying to not make it too stale, I really hope it’s not stale...

Interestingly enough, I’ve had people mess with me or my friends more than once in regards to stuff like hentai (considering I’m an anime fan) so I actually do have at least two experiences where stuff p*rn-related has been brought up as a way to make fun of the groups I was hanging with.

High school is wild and of the behavior I saw from people much further up on the social ladder than I ever was, they do some really weird stuff. I didn’t even see a whole lot, I just know I definitely didn’t like it.

Be prepared for some Patton and Logan time next chapter, I think Virgil deserves it after all of this!

[hanniiesuckle17]

Stray Kids Reaction to S/o Being a Ballet Dancer

A/n: I'm assuming this means like pointe dancer and/or principal dancer??? Anyway!!! Hope you like it bb!! I had fun doing this one!❤❤❤

Requested by: @desertofdessert​ (thank you bb! feel free to request again! this was so fun!!)

Chan:

Chan watched you gather up stuff and put it in the huge dance bag you carried. Unfortunately, you couldn’t spend Chan’s day off with him. It was just one of those times when your schedules didn’t match up. Chan totally understood. If you managed with his busy schedule than he could deal with yours. He also understood the expectations you were under as a principal dancer.

While he never was in the position himself, he has taken many ballet and modern dance classes when he was in Australia, so he knew how intense your job was. He also knew how short your performing career might be. “Why don’t you come with me?” Your voice brought him out of his thoughts. 

“To practice? Won’t I get in the way of the others.” 

You shook your head and tossed an extra water bottle over to him. “I’m just going for a solo run.” Chan smiled and jumped off the couch, following your out the door and to the studio your company rehearsed in. He watched in fascination as you stretched and slipped your pointe shoes on. For the next hour, Chan sat against the mirror and quietly watched in adoration as you danced across the floor. 

“You wanna try?” 

You had the brightest smile on your face as you pulled him up from the floor. You guided him through some steps and giggled as his technique was a little rusty. The two of you danced and laughed for the next couple of hours. You caught his eyes in the mirror as he held your waist to support your feet transition. A blush crept onto his cheek when you reached behind you and ghosted your hand over his cheek, coming down off your toes.

You did so in a way that was so graceful and almost like a dance move in itself. It sent chills down his spine. He loved seeing you in your element. You turned into a different person when you were dancing, he loved seeing you confident and moving without hesitation. He loved seeing your smile as he assisted you through a posse turn. You practically lit up the entire room.

I cant believe some people forget Chris has some classical dance training. I love thinking about him as modern dancer like wow

Minho:

Being a dancer himself, Minho loved how passionate you were about your art. He loved that he could have someone to go to the gym with and would understand having to go on crazy diets. It definitely helped his motivation with you to keep in him in check and vice versa.

However, what he didn’t like was your schedule. Usually, he came home late, and you left home early. He wasn’t the most touchy-feely person, but he did miss seeing you sometimes. So, he made a commitment to you that he would soon regret. There Minho was. At the studio with you. At five in the morning. “Only for you.” He muttered under his breath for the thousandth time. 

It was really his idea. So he was to blame. He was the one who asked you to teach him a routine. However, he had no idea spinning on his bare feet would hurt so much. “You wanna try a lift?” You said coming beside him, resting a hand on his shoulder. 

How were you not out of breath??????? Minho was sweating buckets under his jacket. “Hell yeah!” Why did he say that? That was not what he meant. He meant no. He meant let’s go back to bed like normal people. You explained to him how to do a pretty simple lift and how to get out of it. “Hold up. You want my hand where?” He asked with a mischievous smirk. You rolled your eyes and shoved him lightly. 

“It’s a simple move. Let’s try just once- without the coupe turn.” 

Minho laughed and nodded. He followed your instruction, watching in the mirror. As directed he placed his left hand around your abdomen and this right secured tightly over your right thigh. “Okay and now you lift up and dip.”

“Which way?”

“Forward and down. Duh.”

“DOWN. WHAT IF  I DROP YOU ON YOUR HeAd??”

“You’ll do fine, Minho.” Carefully, he lifted you and he was surprised feeling the muscles of your stomach tighten and hold yourself up in his arms even as he dipped you. “See! You did awesome.” You laughed when you saw his terrified face in the mirror.

Changbin:

Changbin was ecstatic when he found out you were a ballerina. He was so proud of you. After that, he never missed one of your shows. He was always seated front and center with the goofiest, most proud grin on his face waiting for the lights to go down. He also makes you sign his program for every show. He keeps every single one of the programs and he says he wants to make a collage to frame for you.

He does worry about you often, knowing how strict your career is. He knows your schedule almost better than he knows his own. He’ll constantly check up on you and send you a text reminding you that you have to change out your toe pads and drink water.

You smiled hearing your boyfriend’s ringtone as you exited the rehearsal room. “Hi, Binnie! Where are you?” You giggled hearing he was waiting outside for you. He greeted you with a sweet kiss and wrapped his arms around you, blocking the cold air from penetrating your thin sweater.

“I’m buying you dinner. Let’s go.” He grabbed your hand and dragged you to the nearest hole in the wall restaurant he could find. He frowned when you ordered so little to eat. He sent you a stern glare as the waiter took away your menu. You couldn’t help the laugh that escaped when you saw his face.

“Bin, I’ve got a dress and corset to fit into! Don’t worry, I remember our rule.” When you and Bin started dating he came up with this rule he was adamant you follow, especially while you were prepping for a show. He had a rule that you couldn’t walk away from the table if there was still food on your plate. He instituted the rule when he figured out you weren’t finishing meals the closer a show was.

Towards the end of your meal, you smiled as Changbin placed a generous piece of his food onto your plate. You picked it up and ate it gratefully. You frowned when he placed another piece on your almost empty plate without looking up from his food. Again you ate the food, honoring his rule. This time your boyfriend held eye contact with you as he dropped a huge piece of food on your plate. 

“YAH SEO CHANGBIN!”

“WHAT?”

Hyunjin:

When Hyunjin met you he was instantly fascinated by you. When he found out you were a professional dancer the man was immediately whipped. However, he was so obsessed with the fact with the idea of being the perfect dancing couple he forgot to ask what kind of dancer you were. 

You had nothing to do today. Hyunjin was busy with schedules today and couldn’t come over. You had an audition coming up for the lead in Cinderella so you figured now would be a good time to practice. You had bought this apartment specifically for the fact that the living room was huge and had nice real wood floors. 

Pushing all the furniture out of the way you cleared a large enough space to dance in. Pulling out your semi-new pointe shoes you started prepping them. The room started to smell a little like burning fabric as you burned the frayed edges of your ribbons. A rich sound rang throughout your apartment as you banged the pleats of your shoes on the floor. 

Music filled your apartment as you went through your audition routine. You focused on your turnout, keeping it perfectly positioned throughout your movements. You pushed up on relevae and into an arabesque keeping your core tight and leg high and elegant.

“Hey Y/n, Surpris- HOLY WHAT THE GOOD CLEAR PANTS OF JYP???”

You turned to find Hyunjin staring at you with his jaw dropped in shock. Turning off the music you walked over to your boyfriend with a smile and kissed his cheek. He still stood frozen like the drama queen he was. “Hi, honey! How are you?” He blinked and stared at you. He stepped away and took in all of you, his eyes lingering on your shoes. 

“This is not what I expected......but I am so impressed right now.”

You smiled and pulled him down to kiss you, but he stopped your motion. “Nuh-uh. That’s cheating. You gotta work for it now.” He smirked down at you. With a giggle you rose in your shoes and kissed him, tangling your fingers in his soft hair.

Jisung:

Your relationship with Jisung was almost as old as the both of you. You had always been friends since before you could remember and Jisung could even remember you telling him about your very first dance class. You remembered him kissing you after your first lead performance and his cheeky smile when you and to stand on pointe to reach his lips at the time. 

Jisung loved to watch you dance. It was maybe one of his favorite things in the entire world. He was always proudest when he was watching you float across a dance floor or stage. He was captivated by how powerful you were and what you could make your body do. However, there was another side to it...

“Ji...” You said walking through the door of your shared apartment. Hearing his nickname he jumped off the couch and took your bag off your shoulders. As the days grew closer to your shows he made sure to always be home before you. Even if that meant him getting up at three or four am to go back to the studio. You kissed his cheek with a huge grin and watched with adoration as he put your stuff on the table and picked you up and hurried you over to the couch as carefully as possible.

“Baby, I’m not glass. I can walk!” 

“WE MUST PROTECT THE MERCHANDISE OKAY!”

When you were seated he grabbed the several ice packs from the freezer and made sure that he had enough to switch out later. You giggled watching him scramble to take care of you. Carefully, he took off your sneakers and winced at the red spots on your ankles and feet. “Ji- I can ice my own feet. I’ve been doing it for years-”

“LET ME TAKE CARE OF YOU, WOMAN!”

You laughed and pulled him to your lips by the collar of his shirt. You loved that he knew your schedule. Even before you had moved in together Ji had known your schedule after ballet. Ice, eat, ice, stretch, ice and review rehearsal footage, then sleep. “How was your day?” He asked pecking your lips again. You smiled and looked into his soft brown eyes. 

“Fantastic now.”

Felix:

Felix and you had been friends long before he made it big in the music industry. He always knew you danced, but until you started dating a couple months ago he had never really taken an interest in your dancing. Not because he didn’t care. He was just so god damn busy. He felt kind of bad that you didn’t even expect him to take an interest. 

You never asked him to come to a show. You never really talked about rehearsals unless it conflicted with setting up a date, and you never danced in front of him. So, he was determined to change that. You came to the JYP practice room straight from rehearsal as Felix had asked. 

You greeted the boys as the left the studio and found Felix standing by the mirror messing with his phone. He jumped when you wrapped your arms around his waist. “Ready to go, Lix?” You asked after kissing his cheek. “Actually,” He said turning around.

“We are gonna have our date here. You are gonna teach me about ballet!” You laughed and kissed him with a bright smile. You knew he wouldn’t last more than two hours. An hour later, Felix had shed his hoodie and was sweating through his tank top while you stood happily in your leggings and pointe shoes. You had to admit he was doing better than you thought.

“Oh my god! How do your feet open like that, you mutant!” Felix cried out trying to stay in first position. 

However, when it came to actually dancing, Felix was fascinated. It was so different from how he danced. Felix had surprisingly good extension and he got some pretty good air on a couple leaps. And he loved watching you dance-especially when you went up on your toes. He thought you looked beautiful and elegant. 

“That’s it I can’t take it. Take me home.”

“Great! Now I can teach you the second half of ballerina life.”

“What’s that?”

“Ice.”

I've low-key wanted to do a Felix ballet au bc gosh darn he is just so elegant and wooooooooww ballet!felix

Seungmin:

Seungmin loved watching you dance. The two of you didn’t live together yet, so he took every opportunity to see you dance anytime he could. He came to all of your shows and you practically had to kick him out of your closed rehearsals. For his birthday (per his request) you choreographed and performed a routine to his favorite Day6 song. 

Date nights for the two of you usually happen after your rehearsals end and consist of your icing your body on the couch with Seungmin next to you, either watching a movie or talking and eating takeout. 

“Seungmin? Are you here?” You called out into your apartment. Sounds from the kitchen confirmed the presence of your boyfriend. “Minnie?” You dropped your bag by the door and took off your shoes. Seungmin shuffled out of your kitchen with two mugs of tea in hand. 

“What are we doing tonight?” He asked, setting the tea on your coffee table. He sighed when he saw the innocent smile on your face. “Really......again?” He laughed when you nodded excitedly. 

“Fine.”

You cheered as he went to get ice packs and you pulled up Centerstage on Netflix. Seungmin was a good sport. This was probably the twenty-sixth time he had seen this film since dating you. He knew that the movie made you happy, especially if you had a rough day at rehearsals. 

“Man,  Cooper gets douchier and douchier every time we watch this.” Seungmin sighed, his arm around you. 

“Yeah and Charlie gets dreamier and dreamier.”

“What?”

“What-”

Jeongin:

Jeongin watched the video you sent him with a huge smile on his face. You were on tour with your company, so you couldn’t be with him for a few days. Even though you were still in the country, he really missed seeing you. 

It was so weird for him to not pick you up from practice. His eyes twinkled as he watched you dance across the backstage area of a venue. He smiled when he saw you rush back over to your phone and wave to him with a happy grin. The video was sent two days ago. You had talked earlier that day but he still missed you. 

“Jeongin,” His attention snapped away from his phone and to Chan towering above him. His hyung helped him stand up and clapped him on the back. “Ready to go back to practice?” Jeongin sighed and nodded. “Hey, I’ve got a surprise for you,” Chan said running to his bag. 

“Chan I’m just kind of depressed with Y/n away for so long.” 

“I know. That’s why we are going to Y/n’s next show.”

Jeongin’s eyes widened as he watched Chan pull out two tickets to your show, Giselle. After practice, Chan drove the two boys two hours away to your venue to see her perform. Jeongin watched you dance across the stage with bright eyes. He loved watching you become the character of Giselle, though he couldn’t help but be a little jealous of the man who played your fiance.

When he and Chan surprised you backstage, you jumped into his arms and kissed him all over. “Innie! You came!” He smiled and wouldn’t stop talking about how fantastic you were. 

“Y/n! Oh my god! You were so good! The whole leap thing, and your turns! And the thing with the lift- it was so cool! You did incredible baby!”

Requests are open! Just send an ask!

Masterlist

[carnationcreation]

Can you do a fem reader x carrie where the reader is one of the tech people at a concert 👉👈

TITLE: Help (Carrie Wilson x reader)

✌🏻Masterlist Taglist, Requests, and Works in progress!

Please check bio to see if requests are open before sending any in!

Request: (Tumblr) Can you do a fem reader x carrie where the reader is one of the tech people at a concert 👉👈

(Wattpad @thelizziebooks) Ok so the reader is often abused by her father because her mother left at a young age. Not to mention she’s also bullied by Carrie (sorry Savannah. Love her) notices her wince one day and asks her about it. That’s all I got.

Prompt/summary: Carrie confronts the reader about her dad after the school play.

Word Count: 1,659 

Authors Note: I decided to combine these requests! <3 and woahhhh I didn’t intend for it to be this long whoops :)

***Warning*** mentions of abuse and bullying, please read with caution and if you’re experiencing anything like this please reach out for help! Stay safe y’all.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Behind the scenes of school plays always got chaotic.

I tried my best to keep everything on track, being stage manager and all. Occasionally something crazy would happen that was just completely out of my control.

Today was one of those crazy days.

"Guys please don't hang off the set pieces! Can y'all move those boards over there? Arnold what have I told you about touching props that aren't yours? Go put it back EXACTLY where it came!"

It was officially opening night, call time was at 5 and most of the cast had shown up on time except for a select few.

"Nick said he was going to be a little late, car troubles."

I huffed and turned to Sophia the lighting director, "Fine. Tell him he better be in his costume as soon as he walks in, no messing around beforehand we're going to be pushing showtime anyways."

I turned back around to the soundboard to finish mic checks with my sound assistant.

It was finally 30 minutes till showtime. Everyone was in the dressing room getting ready or in the hallway behind the auditorium doing last minute rehearsals before the curtain went up.

"Hey girls," I said popping my head in the dressing room, "Places in 15. Wait, where's Carrie?"

The girls looked at each other before shrugging at me.

I let out a frustrated groan, "Someone call her, if she's not here then Savannah you're going on."

Her understudy let out a huff and turned to grab her cellphone to call the missing diva.

As I turned to walk down the hallway a very mad Carrie came storming down.

"Where have you been?"

She turned to me with a death glare and snapped, "Car troubles."

"Ugh why is everyone saying that tonight?" I groaned.

I tried to turn away but just as I did Carrie grabbed my wrist tightly, "I could've just not shown up. You're lucky I even did."

The action made me hide my face out of habit, when I finally grounded myself I ripped my wrist out of her grip before taking off down the hallway trying to rub the pain away and shake off the panicked feeling in my chest.

The show went on without a hitch. Luckily Carrie could get into costume and wig quickly so there wasn't any delay in opening. After curtain call I quickly cleaned up my stuff, saying goodbye to our drama teacher as she left for the night leaving me to check the dressing rooms to make sure no one else was here before I left.

The boys room was a wreck, tomorrow during class I should make them clean it out. Gross.

I check the middle dressing room reserved for anyone who didn't want to be in either girls or boys only dressing room. I turned the lights off before moving on to the last one.

I barely missed her, if she wasn't wearing the bright yellow dress I wouldn't have seen her sitting on the counter.

"Carrie? What are you still doing here?"

She frowned, "I wanted to ask you something."

"What Carrie?" I huffed lightly.

"I'm just trying to be nice," she rolled her eyes.

"You're never nice to me," I said, grabbing my keys off the hook on the wall, "And it's getting late, I wanna get home. What's your question?"

"You winced."

"What?"

"Earlier when I grabbed your wrist, you winced. I didn't mean to hurt you but I didn't grab it hard enough to truly hurt you. What's going on?"

I sighed and went to turn the lights off, "Nothing Carrie. I don't see why you even care."

Carrie hopped off the counter and walked out the door I was holding open, "Can't you just tell me? For once I'm worried about you."

"Yeah, and that one time is completely random."

"(Y/n)," she said, grabbing my wrist. Out of instinct I winced and immediately tried to cover it up by pulling my arm out of her grasp but then she held on a little tighter. It didn't hurt. In fact, it was almost... gentle.

"What Carrie? I wanna go home."

"Not till you tell me what's going on," she said, her eyes seemed to glue to something on my shoulder, her free hand reached forward and pull down the collar of my shirt past my right shoulder revealing a purple bruise I had tried to keep covered for tonight.

"(Y/n)-"

"Carrie it's just from working on the set pieces-"

"Bullshit," she snapped, "It wasn't there yesterday when you were wearing that halter top. Don't lie like this (Y/n)."

I rolled my eyes, "I don't even see why you care."

Her eyes went soft as I finally pulled my arm from her grip.

I turned to walk away.

"I see you walk to the bus everyday."

I stopped and looked back at her, "What?"

"You pass by my house when you're walking to the bus everyday. And walking home. Everyday I see you linger outside like you hate going home. I noticed it a while ago, but tonight just confirmed my suspicions. (Y/n), he hits you doesn't he?"

Tears welled up in my eyes, "Carrie just stay out of this."

"(Y/n)-"

"No Carrie, I don't need pity. Especially from you."

I couldn't describe the look in her eye, "(Y/n) it's not pity it's concern. Please just let me help-"

"I don't need help. Especially after all you've ever done to me. Just leave me alone."

And with that I turned on my heel and rushed outside.

The next day I wore a chunky turtleneck sweater into class. Carrie's eyes immediately flew up when I entered the room, falling directly to the shoulder that was completely covered up. Class seemed to go by like an eternity. The school day was even longer.

Finally it was the break before my last class of the day and I walked out of the bathroom stall, looking myself over in the mirror.

"Green's a pretty color on you," Carrie said, she was standing two sinks down from me. Staring at the spot on my shoulder again.

I sighed, "Thanks."

"(Y/n) please-"

"I told you to stay out of it."

"You need to get help, it's just going to keep getting worse and you know it."

"He's in rehab," I sighed, placing my hands on the sink and leaning forward.

She sighed, taking a pause to stare at me, "(Y/n), if you need a place to stay you can always come to my house."

"I don't need anyone's help."

I flung my bag onto my shoulder before turning and practically running out of the bathroom.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I don't know why tonight was worse, but it just was. Maybe it was because I knew someone knew what was going on, or maybe it was because he pre-gamed with his friends before going out to the bar.

When he got drunk he got... rowdy. If I was in his way in the kitchen he'd shove me out of his way, sometimes making me hit the counter top. IF I didn't do the chores like I was supposed to he would give me a smack on the face. And in extreme cases he'd push me into the wall before barking at me to go to my room.

I've probably gotten a concussion before.

Tonight was different though.

It felt like he just didn't let up on me. First it was a smack over the dishes, then I didn't get him his drink fast enough resulting in being shoved into the wall. Finally the shove so hard I fell hitting my hand on the table and collapsing onto the floor left the wind knocked out of me. When I finally got my lungs working again I ran out the door. It wasn't until I got a few blocks away from my house that I realized my hand was bleeding badly.

I just walked. I didn't intend to go to her house, but here I was at the gate of the Wilson residence. I pressed the buzzer and waited.

"Who is it?"

"Hi Mr. Wilson, it's (Y/n). One of Carries friends."

Carrie finally came over the intercom, "(Y/n)?"

"Hey, um- sorry this probably isn't a good time. I can leave-"

"(Y/n) just come inside," she said, the gates finally opened and I walked up the driveway and onto the porch.

Carrie opened the door, seeing the bleeding on my right hand immediately.

"Oh my god (Y/n), what-"

The tears in my eyes must've given me away, because she quickly pulled me into a hug.

"Let's get you cleaned up," she whispered.

She lead me inside to the bathroom and sat me on the edge of the bathtub. She grabbed the first aid kit and gently cleaned the cut on my hand and put a giant bandage over it when she was done, "Hopefully you won't need stitches."

"Yeah."

She led me into her room and we both sat on the bed, she just watched me as I looked around the room to avoid her gaze.

"(Y/n), what happened?"

Tears finally started to slip as she pulled me into a hug again.

"It's okay, we don't have to talk about it right now. I'm just worried."

"It was bad Carrie, more bad than normal. I can handle it normally..."

"You shouldn't have to 'handle it'," she said softly.

I couldn't say anything because of the sobs that were racking through my body. She just held me and gently petted my hair until I finally calmed down.

"You can stay here tonight if you want to."

I smiled tightly, "Thank you."

"It's the least I could do," she said, "You really need to tell someone."

"I know... I'm just not ready."

She grabbed my left hand and gently squeezed it, "That's okay. But I'll be here with you when you are."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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Beyond Words (4/?)

The Big Sweep

Eight years have come and gone, and it seems that everyone has moved on; Hannah has a new life with a Baby upstate, and even Ray found a bit of happiness in his life, but where does that leave Adam? Still in the same apartment with the same problems. Now, feeling adrift in the stagnation he finds himself in, Adam will try to break old habits and  see if he can grow-up. Something easier said than done, that is until he meets you.

This is a bit of a post series/retcon picking up from where Adam’s story left off in Season 6 episode 8 titled “What will we do this time about Adam?”

Adam Sackler x Reader

4.5K Words

Warning: Angst, break up, Depression, cursing.

It’s been a week of secret apartment hunting and script reading for any new possible project, but his efforts finally bear fruit. ‘Fucking Ray. Thank god he came through’ Adam thought as he was one the line of his favorite deli just a few blocks away from his apartment. He shifts anxiously as he rehearses in his mind what he wants to say to Jessa when the moment comes.

It’s been a week of secret apartment hunting and script reading for any new possible project, but his efforts finally bear fruit. ‘Fucking Ray. Thank god he came through’ Adam thought as he was one the line of his favorite deli just a few blocks away from his apartment. He shifts anxiously as he rehearses in his mind what he wants to say to Jessa when the moment comes.

‘Jesus. Fuck’ He fixes his hair fidgeting (well dreading, really) the confrontation to come. Her clinginess hasn’t stopped in the least, wanting to go out together, stay in together, have sex in their old haunts; she’s even been texting him more frequently. It’s not that he didn’t like the attention (or the sex), but Jessa’s always been aloof, and independent. If anything, Adam is the clingy one; things used to be so easy before but this change in dynamic was a bit jarring to him, to say the least.

‘She’s just making things harder’

He was a thousand miles away when he finally sat down, and in true Adam fashion, he doesn’t eat, so much as he scarfs down his meal; six eggs (four of them just the whites), and two slices of turkey bacon. It’s while drinking what’s left of his coffee that his phone alerts him of a new incoming text. Fishing it out of his pocket and saw that he had three texts; two from Luke, letting him know that he got the callback for the Jim Anderson play with the details of where it’s going to be, the other asking if he had finished reading another script that he’d sent him.

‘Yesssssss!!’ He cheered on the inside, holding in his urge to scream it out loud. Finally! At least some things were looking up.

The other text was from Jessa, making fun about one of her classmates, with a rather mean spirited snarky remark.

He scoffs a bit after reading it, her smarmy wit coming through her words. It's moments like these that remind him of their friendship, and their shared chemistry. The thought only served to churn his stomach, bringing to the forefront of his mind what he’ll tell her.

‘ “Look Jessa, I’ve been doing some introspection lately, and I’ve come to the conclusion that we’re better as friends and that I need some time apart” Too formal? No….Shit! “Jessa let’s be real, you would’ve left me in a few months anyway, so I’m doing us both a favor” ..’

“Motherfuck!” He hissed under his breath.

He looked at the time in his phone and got up. He has to get going, not wanting to be late to meet his building manager.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The building itself wasn’t too far, it was still in Brooklyn, not like he could afford anything more upscale, and even then, rents in the boroughs were outrageous; gentrification saw to that. But for all the artisanal ice cream boutiques and organic green tea, there’s a charm in Brooklyn that has captured his heart; for now, this was home. This place has seen his loves and loses and has seen him at his worst and at his best.

Adam walks up to the front steps where a woman is sitting on the stoop, seemingly waiting; looking at her phone as she does so. She looks up and sees him in the eye, causing him to look away awkwardly to avoid her thinking he was a creep or something, but her gaze was more curious than anything.

She tilts her head sideways to get a better look at him. “Adam?”

‘Do I know her? Oh fuck, have I fucked her?’ he thinks, his mid going through the roster of girls to see if he knew her from somewhere. “Yeah?” he asked cautiously after his mind came up blank. He doesn’t know her....at least he thinks he doesn’t know her.

“I’m Jaime. I’m the building manager? My dad probably told you about me when he showed you the apartment.” She explains, hopefully jogging his memory, as she gets up to face him.

“You’re Jaime?” He asks, taking a good look at her. Her hair is long and dark up, reaching up to her waist; her body, clothed in oversized jeans and a black tank top, is skinny but not too skinny as to make her look malnourished, her complexion is dark, coupled with deep brown eyes, a wide nose full glossy lips and a beauty mark above her left eyebrow.

“Yeah, were you expecting anyone else?” she smirked haughtily at him, making him to quickly reply out an answer to avoid any embarrassment.

“No! I just thought that I’d be meeting your dad.” he corrects himself and holds out his hand to shake her hand in greeting. She responded in kind, extending her hand to shake his. Her hand was adorned by wide silver rings in her fingers, her nails were decorated with an orange nail polish that was mostly chipped away.

“He got held up, asked me to do it. Legally I can, as the building manager. So, you ready to sign?”

“Uh, Yeah.” he answers her as she gestures for him to follow her, leading him up the stairs to what will be his new apartment.

Climbing three flights of stairs, standing in front of a door marked ‘3A’, Jaime places the key in the lock and opens the door before gesturing for him to go in.

The apartment itself was big, or big for New York standards, at least, It was a one bedroom apartment, complete with a separate living room, the bathroom was down the hallway, and with a small kitchen right next to what could be converted to a small dining room. It suited him. The apartment was eerily reminiscent of the one he lives in now, the most remarkable difference is that the kitchen has a separate countertop for a bar, not to mention that the living room was roomier, with a tall window providing the space with a good amount of natural light.

It was thankfully in his budget, and that’s what mattered to him the most, nevermind the fact that he basically found an affordable apartment with this much space; which to be clear, is nothing short of impossible.

The pair start to walk into the empty living room space. “You’re lucky you were able to snag this place. We haven’t gotten the word out yet, or anything about this place. So you got the exclusive first look.” Jaimie mentions as she walks to the kitchen counter, grabbing the papers and the pen.

Not knowing how to respond to her and him having his own special brand of social skills , Adam just answers with a simple “Yeah.”

“If anything you’re lucky you know Ray, being on the city council makes you meet a lot of people in the community; and stick-in-the-mud Ray knows a lot of people.” She smiles at him.

“Yeah well we’ve been friends for a while, now.” He replies to her with a polite smile back.

“Yeah. Anyway, this is the contract.” Jaime changes the direction of the conversation to the issue at hand, sliding the contract file in his direction with a pen in her hand.

“Sign here, and here….I need initials here.” She directed him as he started to sign the papers, trying to keep up with her quick directions.

Once it was finished, she handed him a stack of papers. “Okay, so this is your copy of the lease, and these are your keys. Heads up.” She dangled the keys before throwing them in his direction for him to catch, moving towards the exit to leave to the privacy of his new place. Stopping at the door, Jaimie looks back to face him as he turns around to face her.

“So you already know my name. Rent’s due on the first. If you need anything, my apartment’s on the first floor; apartment ‘1B’. If you need me but I’m not in, just slip a note under my door. ‘Kay? Any questions?”

“Uh, nope.”

“Then it’s a pleasure to meet you Adam Sackler. Welcome to the building.” With that she gave him a small smirk and waved goodbye, shutting the door behind her on her way out; leaving him alone with his thoughts in his new apartment.

It’s official now, he can’t put it off anymore. He’s following the advice Ray gave him; hell, even Josh said it. Here, in the emptiness of his new space, in the bright white light of day, he finally sees what he’s been avoiding for so long.

He loved her, he cared for her, but was he ever in love with her?

He was just as quick to get back to her as soon as he realized that things with Hannah wouldn't work out. He quickly left Jessa once he found out that Hannah was pregnant and….’I don’t know.’ ‘Maybe I’m with her ‘cause it’s easy...I’m so fucked up!’ Adam furiously scrubbed his face with both hands, breathing deeply and exhaling through his nostrils.

Alone, in the middle of the empty apartment, bathed in the light from the windows, he knew. It was just like that time; he knew what he had to do.

It was time to rip the band-aid off.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Later in the day, after doing a few errands he had to do for the new place, Adam was standing outside of his (old?) apartment building. Looking at the window of the apartment, he takes a deep breath, gathering his bravery to face the situation.

He makes the journey up the stairs, and opens the door. The apartment is empty, judging by the hour, Jessa’s probably still in class. Taking advantage of the circumstances, he starts packing up his things; his mind making a list of the things to take with him .

‘My clothes, books. It's a good thing I don’t have a lot of stuff. I can buy food, and I already got a bed taken care of. I’m gonna have to come back for my work out stuff, my weights and the bench at least.’

Little by little Adam starts to take his favorite things, taking his time to consider what to leave behind. A practice he’s by now well-used to.

The front doors opens and in walks Jessa, her hair in a bun, wearing a loose red tee shirt with denim blue high waisted jeans, the bags in her hand suggest she bought something.

“Hey you in?!” Her voice rings through the small apartment, reaching Adam’s ears, causing him to freeze, inwardly flinching in anticipation of what’s to come. ‘Time to face the fucking music. *sigh*’ He moves out of the bedroom and into the kitchen to find her putting things away on the fridge.

“Heeeeeey.”

“I brought some groceries since the fridge was empty.” she told him casually, her head buried inside the refrigerator as she took things from the bag and placed them inside.

“You have a good day?” His stance is awkward, his hands behind his back as he debated on how to best start the conversation; break it to her while hoping to god that she takes it well.

“Not bad, Nancy is a fucking cunt, but that’s just her. Either way…” Jessa approaches him, pulling him for a kiss, smiling as she does so “She’s just irritates me, so...how was your day?” Her hands run through the familiar course of his chest sweetly. A small shrug moved his shoulders nonchalantly as he looked at her. Was this really it? “It was okay, I did a few errands.”

Hearing this her brow furrowed a bit, looking into his eyes as he stared at her. “You did errands, what errands? Didn’t you have an audition?”

“Yeah, look can we talk?” He asks as he nervously fidgets, gesturing for them to sit down on the couch. If there’s something that can be said about Adam is that he’s as subtle as a hammer.

Sitting on the coffee table in front of her, he nervously passes a hand through his hair, trying to find a way to get what he needed to say out. Jessa looked at him curiously, waiting for him to talk but finding herself growing impatient as the seconds passed.

“So, what did you want to talk about?” She urges calmly.

Adam’s forehead wrinkled in concentration, both of his hands pressed against his face as his fingers covered his eyes. “This isn’t something that I wanna have to tell you. I know this isn’t fair to you, especially after the whole thing with Hannah.”

“I’ve been doing some introspection, or whatever, and um...I’ve been going to meetings…”

“You’ve been going to meetings?” She interrupted, concern etched on her her face as her brows lifted before furrowing in thought.

“Yeah.”

“Well. Have you been drinking?”

“No!” He answered urgently. “I just…” Adam’s lips tense into an outstretched line for a brief moment while he finds a way to verbalize his thoughts.

“I’ve been going to meetings and taking time to think….And…” A few seconds pass. “Fuck” he whispered under his breath in a sigh. “And I’ve come to the conclusion that I; that WE..need time apart.” His eyes searched hers for any indication of understanding or sympathy, but they found nothing. Her gaze was blank as she was deep in thought as he spoke. “ Look, this has nothing to do with Hannah. Whatever she and I had. It’s over, it’s finished.” His baritone voice is soft and calm as he tries to sound as serious as possible. In his mind he is an adult trying to have a serious conversation with his partner. Gone is the lovable boyish demeanor he usually carried; replaced with a grim faced man as he leans over to look at her. His elbows rest on his knees and clasps his hands together, giving away his anxiety.

“I never told you how sorry I am for that...and I hurt you. It’s just that, I don’t know if it was filming the movie or if it was just life in fuckin’ general, but I was reminded of what Hannah and I had. I felt it, so I felt that there was too much history there to not try and set things right. To help her, and be there for her.” The sound of his voice reverberated through the small apartment as he looked at the floor. “ But we’re too different now and want different things. And...Now I feel like I need some space to figure shit out alone. Not just for me, because I really do care about you, Jessa.”

Jessa looks at the ground in silence, not wanting to look at him in the eyes and see her worst nightmare.

“I’m gonna be moving out, take the time to focus on my life. You can stay here, keep most of the stuff. I’ll still pay for your classes. I meant what I said.”

Jessa nods slowly, pursing her lips while processing his words.

“Okay...if that’s how you feel.” Her tone is a bit above a whisper, feigning understanding in her short words. She shrugs her shoulders and crosses her legs on the couch with a nonchalant expression. Like everything else, nothing fazes her.

Adam scoffs at her response, unable to believe how she can be so calm while he was essentially breaking up with her. No, he saw what this was. “ Oh, come the fuck on Jessa, this is just like last time. Do you seriously not give a fuck? I know you feel something. Get angry; hit me, throw something at me. For fuck’s sake, it isn’t good to bottle everything in...Just tell me how you feel.”

A deep sigh went through her nose, her eyes showed that something was beneath the surface as she shakes her head slightly and looks at him. “What do you want me to say? You haven’t done anything wrong. You’re communicating; and if this is how you feel, then there’s no point in fighting against it.”

‘Un-fucking-believable.’ Adam moves his left hand towards his cheek, lightly scratching at the hairs in his stubble. “That doesn’t mean that you’re not feeling anything; that your feelings aren’t valid.” He lets out a breath of frustration as he realizes that she put up her walls to him and she won’t budge. ‘The hitting and screaming would’ve been better.’ “Fine.”

Keeping with her attitude, Jessa clicks her tongue and leans back lazily before asking the dreaded question. “So when do you move out.”

“I was thinking about leaving today.”

“Oh...so you have a place to stay?”

“Yeah, I’m good. My stuff’s mostly packed, and I’ll come back for the rest later...But I wanna make sure you’re okay.”

“Adam, stop worrying! You’ve done nothing wrong. If you feel you have to do this; you gotta do what you gotta do.” A sardonic smile graces her face. She makes everything sound so simple; black and white.

He gently grabs her tattooed wrist in his large hand and looks deeply into her green eyes, trying to find a way to get through to her, to really talk to her.

“Hey..I still care about you. okay?” He told her gently, almost as if she were a child.

“Yeah.” Her response was short and curt.

Her walls remain up; impenetrable in their might as she refuses to show him, to show the world an ounce of vulnerability. A defense mechanism that took years in perfecting. An aloof facade she shows the world.

Jessa moves to get up, leaving him alone. Adam’s well aware that this was just a front, Jessa hasn’t changed,. He couldn’t tell how bad it was, but he’s doing this for her too. He knew it’d be worse if he stayed.

No other words were said as she sat crossed legged in their bed, smoking a cigarette while he finished packing. In the back of her mind she wonders if this is what being in a relationship is really like; being off and on, having that person come in and out of your life….It’s what her father did. ‘No’ She knows that’s not true. She’s seen people get married, have families and be happy. And besides, Adam’s not remotely like her father, he’s not like the previous men in her life. He’s different.

She moves to the kitchen, pouring herself a glass or orange juice, pretending that nothing is wrong, desperately trying to ignore his presence. She found it unbearable to watch as he left her for a second time. This time she’s more aware of her feelings for him, and she dreads what will become of them, of her while watching Adam go in and out of the apartment; getting his things downstairs.

He tried to be as quick as possible; throwing this mindlessly into garbage bags, making sure he took only what was important to him.

The hardest part about breaking up is trying to leave and stay on good terms. And he’s attempting to do just that. He figured that if he could do it with Hannah, maybe it was possible with Jessa.

Adam reached into his pocket and fished out his keys, he placed them on the counter beside the sink.

“You take care of yourself, okay?” He said awkwardly, looking at her one last time. His mouth is etched in a pout and his eyes are sullen at her lack of reply, but he still waits a few seconds for her, almost as if he’s waiting for the other shoe to drop. She didn’t say anything, she didn’t even look at him as he made his way out of the apartment.

Closing the door behind him, Adam takes a moment to just stand there, his mouth still set in a pout, his brows furrowed as he feels the weight of what’s happened.

Both lovers stand on either side of the closed door, each hoping that the other would take a step forward to open the door; to go back to the other, but neither one does. Adam stays there, feeling the guilt over what he’s done slowly spread; lamenting not just the loss of his lover, but the loss of his best friend.

‘It had to be done. There’s no point in staying anymore.’

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Inside of the apartment, Jessa just stood there, staring at the door; willing him to come back to her. Her face morphs from boredom to one of pure heartbreak. Her eyes start to water as her breathing changes to an erratic pace.

In the cold emptiness surrounding her, she couldn’t pretend anymore. Her mask vanishes, revealing the abandoned girl underneath, watching as her friend walked out of their home and her life.

This time she can’t pretend that it doesn’t hurt; can’t deny the devastation she feels as her world blurs. She places the palm of her hands over her eyes as the tears overflow.

‘He’s done this before, and he came back; he’ll do it again.’ She reasons in her desperation, clinging to the idea that Adam will be back, that this is just a pattern. Because the alternative would be to accept that he left her for good.

‘Fucking Hannah!’ As she cries her thoughts become more chaotic. ‘Don’t go. Don’t do this to me.’ Her inner voice cries as she slides slowly towards the floor, bringing her knees towards her chest.

‘This is just how he is.’ She reasoned, still expecting him to come back, her mind repeating his last words over and over. He did say he cared about her, he still loved her; but as she continued to reason his return, a small part of her feared she was just clinging to an empty promise, that she was stupidly holding on to hope...and that he really did leave her.

The silence inside the apartment is maddening, the space is cold; isolated from the world filled only with her small cries.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He should be used to moving, considering how often he did in the past eight years, but no, it was always a bitch. And the worst part about it? Doing it because of a break up. To say that it was awkward was an understatement, but he needed to end things well off with Jessa. God knows he’s ran into people from his past before enough times to know better. New York may be populated by millions of people, but it can turn into a very small place, when Karma feels like it. It’d be worse if he didn’t do it this way, he’s sure of it.

After getting the last of his things upstairs, he starts unpacking bit by bit. He doesn’t have a refrigerator yet, or a bed for that matter; those come in tomorrow, but Adam has been through worse, and one day without furniture hardly phases him. That being said sleeping on the floor isn’t something he’s looking forward to. Plus, this is what friends are for isn’t it? ...to crash on their couch when needed?

Adam takes his phone out, scrolling through the few contacts saved in it. He could ask Ray; it wouldn’t be the first time he’d stay at his place, especially after a breakup. He could also ask Josh, he had offered his couch to let him crash before; maybe the offer’s still on the table.

‘Screw it.’

He hits on Josh’s contact and places the device next to his ear, waiting for a response on the other side of the line.

“Hey.” Josh’s deep voice sounds through the phone’s speaker.

“ Heeeey...listen, I got a favor to ask, if it’s not too much trouble, or whatever.” Adam started nervously, scratching his head as he talked.

“Yeah, man. Shoot.”

“I broke up with Jessa.” He blurted out. “I moved out.”

There was a slight silence on the line before Josh responded. “Well, shit. Do you need a place to stay? Until you find something?”

“I already got a place. I just need a place to crash until I can get the bed and fridge brought in here.”

“ Well you’re in luck, then. I’m actually on my way back from work. I gotta stop to pick up a few things and then I’m headed home.” Josh explained in his easy-going tone; like nothing bothers him at the moment. “ I’ll let Vanessa know; she’s coming over tonight.”

Adam hesitated “ I don’t wanna shit on your plans.”

“ Oh, fuck off. You’re not. Dude, trust me, Ness loves you. She’d be pissed if I didn’t help out. My sofa es su casa.”

Even though Josh can’t see him, Adam smiles at his friend’s words; his teeth peeking out from his lips and the corners of his eyes wrinkle as he does so. “ Yeah, okay. Just let me know when you’re at home. Text me or whatever.”

“You got it. Tonight we’re eating homemade Mexican food.”

“Yeah, Thanks.”

“Alright, see ya.”

With that, Adam hung up, comforted in the knowledge that he’ll be able to sleep in a comfortable, and most importantly cushioned, tonight. At least now he had a place to call his, and by pure stroke of luck, the apartment’s rent wasn’t as high as it could be. He’ll furnish it, little by little. He lives in New York, so someone’s bound to not want a couch somewhere. That leaves the matter of his kitchen. He’d have to buy glasses, plates and food, to at least have the very basics.

‘A bookshelf in the living room. I’ll put my bench in the bedroom...clothes go in the closet, I gotta get a chest or something with drawers..’

He turns to pick up the trash bags storing his clothes, taking them through the small hallway towards his bedroom closet. He’d have to do laundry before the end of the week, he reminded himself as he realized that he was in such a rush to pack everything that he didn’t think that some of his shirts in the bag used to be strewn across the floor of the apartment and stank of sweat.

He spent the next few hours doing what he can, organizing his clothes between what’s clean and what was to be laundered, he took his time to make sure everything was arranged to his liking; a far cry from how he was living 8 years ago. Back when he was an aimless mess living in an apartment cluttered with tools and random pieces of reclaimed wood; when he would rather fuck around with no strings attached than be emotionally vulnerable with someone.

To Adam, it seemed like a lifetime ago. Gone was the aloof fuckboy with an awkward haircut and no direction. Now in his place stands a more empathetic and responsible man.

His thoughts were interrupted as he heard his phone come to life, sounding an alert to let him know he had just received a text and prompting him to look for it. Reaching for his back pocket, he fishes out his phone to see a message from Josh came in saying ‘Just got in.’ on the lit up screen. He’d finish unpacking later; now he was hungry, and Mexican seemed like just the thing…

——————————————————

Hey guys, I’m baaaaack!!!! :D

2020 has been a hell of a year, but I still wanted to end it on a good note. So here we have a short but sweet chapter where Adam wants to leave Jessa to focus on himself, but he knows how fragile and lonely she can be and tries to do it gently....Does it work? We'll have to find out. Safe to say, Jessa will be a reoccurring guest star on this show, so we’ll see how Adam handles this and how he manages to move on. So, leave a comment and let me know what y’all think.

Mucho Love and and a happy New year!!😊

Xoxo Selene R

Tag list for some friends (let me know if you’d like to be added) 

@kowalskibro-adamdriverblog @tsarinastorm @alexdaleks @thrivingamidstchaos @klauscarolove @misskitred @ah-callie @sarcasticbitch @jynz-andtonic @oh-adam @commanderbensolo @kylos-wren @adamsnackler @patersonn-kylo @adamsnacc-kler @ellelaconiwrites @that-only-exists-in-my-mind @ktellmeastory @fallinallinmendes @noocturnalchild

[canyouhearthelight]

The Miys, Ch. 115

Extra special thanks for this chapter go out to @baelpenrose and @charlylimph-blog. Besides being regular beta-readers for me, Bael really really wanted a chapter with more Charly/Coffey, and Charly happily obliged by joining my and Bael’s regularly scheduled live-write of the chapter. We. Had. A. Blast.  It was  a shining beacon of love and laughter in my life, let me tell you.

I walked from the kitchen to the entry just as the notification went off that someone was standing outside. Still laughing from the comment Tyche made about the chicken breasts we were currently stuffing, my smile didn’t drop an inch as I saw Charly and Coffey standing there. “Hey, you two! About time!”

Charly held her head high and ignored my comment, while Coffey grinned back. “Best for last, you know,” he tossed with a wink as he handed over a bottle of red wine. “I know it doesn’t go with chicken but…”

“Stomachs are colorblind,” I finished, in sync with Charly and Tyche like we had rehearsed it. Conor and Maverick burst into laughter while Arthur just shook his head at our antics.

Charly stretched her neck to look over Tyche’s shoulder. “Those looks like…”

“We know,” Arthur groaned, eliciting another chuckle from everyone. “Tyche just mentioned that.”

“The - feta? - cheese is not helping your case, I’m just saying.”

Tyche tried her hardest to scowl and made a shooing gesture. “Please don’t ruin dinner before it’s even cooked please?”

“If I promise it won’t make dinner sound obscene, can I ask a question?” Charly ventured. All eyes turned toward her, since it was probably the first time she had ever asked permission to ask a question. Once I slowly nodded, she took a deep breath. “Have you ever tried rabbit?” The next part was rushed. “ImeanIhavearecipeforrabbitstewthat’stodiefor, andI’mprettysureAntoinewouldlikerabbitragout-”

“Charly,” Coffey intoned softly, reaching out to gently scritch the back of her neck.

She stopped talking and bit her lips. “I just mean - “

“It’s okay,” I assured them before anyone else in the room exploded from the laughter they were trying to hold back for her sake. “I really would love that recipe, Charly. I actually have a recipe for lapine ragout that Antoine adores, but the only other recipe I have is for coney pie.”

Charly nodded enthusiastically while practically collapsing on Coffey’s lap. Still nodding, she pulled a file up on her datapad and flicked it towards me. “Can I ask about the rabbits?” she asked softly, head twitching when Coffey scowled and - I assume - gently tugged the hair above where he was still scratching her neck. “Doesn’t hurt to ask!” she complained.

“I swear, it’s fine,” Arthur stated firmly. “You would be shocked at how hilarious she finds this story.”

Tyche rolled her eyes hard enough to move her neck. “And it puts some things into perspective…” she sighed.

Conor, on the other hand, gave me a hard look when I opened my mouth. “You know the rule.”

Dropping my head back in defeat, I took a deep breath. “Yes, I will make coney pie tomorrow for dinner.” Antoine, Charly, and Coffey all looked at me in confusion. “Conor hates hearing about my near-death experiences, so when I tell this story I have to make him rabbit pie for dinner.”

“So he can eat your enemies,” Charly nodded sagely.

“Pretty much,” I shrugged.

“Wait- “ she sputtered, realizing the rest of what I explained. “You had a near death experience? With a bunny!?”

All I could do was giggle. “Yes. I have a deathly fear of bunnies because one almost killed me once.”

“Twas no ordinary rabbit - it had a vicious streak a mile wide….” Arthur added, funny accent and all.

“May I ask that no one interrupt Sophia until she explains how she managed a real-life reenactment of a Monty Python sketch?” Coffey asked, leaning forward so far that Charly had to twist to stay on his lap.

“The truth is stranger than fiction,” Arthur nodded, tapping his glass gently against the other man’s. “Sophia, take it away.”

Shaking my head with a grin, I obliged. “You have to know, Tyche and I grew up in a very backwater, uneducated family, and also in hereditary poverty.   So, it was perfectly normal - to us, anyway - to have pets like chickens, or goats… or rabbits… Food animals.  Well, when I was eight, my uncle decided I was old enough for my first pet rabbit.  A good, big one.” Tyche shook her head with a smirk, and I just shot her a glance as I kept speaking. “Well, Snickers wasn’t quite hand-tamed. And the only way to hand-tame a wild rabbit is to…. Well, hold it, honestly.  So I would sit in the yard, with Snickers in my lap, and hold him while he ate grass.”

Maverick opened his mouth to ask the question he always loved to ask, but Charly gently put her hand on his wrist and shook her head. 

I still answered the question I knew would have come. “I know, it sounds like the most harmless thing in the world, right? Pet rabbit, in my lap, chilling out and eating fresh grass.  The thing is… Rabbits are burrowers. And they have these wicked claws on their back feet just for that.  So, when you hold them, you have to hold their back feet together, or they kick to get away.”

Charly gasped softly as she realized what was coming, quickly clamping a hand over her mouth.

I nodded. “Yep. One day, Snickers got started, and I didn’t have his back feet as tightly as I should have, and… well, he opened my arm up from wrist to elbow before I could let him go.  I screamed, my mother came out, took me to the emergency room.  I’ve been terrified of rabbits ever since.”

“That’s awful!” Charly cried out, jumping up to come hug me.

As I patted her on the back, Coffey sat up straighter and shook his head. “Poppy, she’s okay now. And besides, didn’t you hear her mention how ‘backwater’ her family was?” He arched an eyebrow at me, eye gleaming. “I bet that rabbit was dinner that same night.”

“Bunny dumplings,” Tyche confirmed with a wink. “If we didn’t know what else to do with it, it was dumplings.”

Arthur shook his head with a chuckle. “I would have thought you would be upset that she ate her pet, Miss Harper.”

She made a rude noise in return. “Are you kidding!? The first thing I killed with a bow was a rabbit.” Head high, she flexed her biceps. “Do you know how fast those things are!?”

“Nice and fat one, too,” Coffey added. “And she found rosemary to roast it with.”

“And lemon balm,” she added. “And mint, but that stuff grows everywhere.”

I nearly groaned at the memory of spit-roasted wild game.

“So, you two have been through the whole After together?” Conor asked as dinner hit the table.

Charly nodded enthusiastically as she took a bite. “Yeah, we were friends Before - oh my gosh, this balsamic reduction is perfect, Tyche - and found each other not long after the End.  After a while…” she trailed off, waving between them as much as she could, considering she was still sitting on Coffey’s lap.

We all nodded.  I was, honestly, happy to see two people who knew each other that long survive the end of the world together.  “So, I knew Charly did archery - she’s shown me a few times, but I’m terrible at it, turns out. What about you, Coffey?” I paused before realizing how intrusive that might be. “And if you don’t want to answer, it’s okay,” I rushed to clarify.

He smiled in reassurance. “I was security, Before, and… security After, in a way.” Chewing thoughtfully on a bite of bread, he glanced at something none of us could see. “I had a gun, at first - being a black man who grew up in NorthAm before it was NorthAm, it was more prudent than it was deviant at the time.”

“I don’t blame you,” I grumbled, while Tyche nodded and scowled furiously. We were horrifically embarrassed to be related to some of the reasons he needed a gun in the Before.

He tilted his head in a conciliatory fashion, as though he could tell what I was thinking. “In the After, bullets were hard to come by and… not very prudent, it turned out. They drew a lot of attention. Whereas our sneaky Charly…”

“Probably made traps,” Arthur finished nonchalantly.  When a few of us glanced at him, he rolled his eyes. “Oh come on! No one can tell me the queen of pranks and engineering over here did not booby-trap anywhere she was living within an inch of her life and the lives around her.”

Charly beamed, while Coffey just chuckled. “I honestly don’t believe the margin of error was quite that wide, to be frank. But it was safe enough that, before long, we accidentally had an enclave.”

I snorted in an attempt not to choke on my drink, while Conor and Maverick were both glancing at Arthur - the resident warlord.

Arthur just blinked in an almost placid manner. “I’m actually impressed. You started rebuilding by accident.”

“Do I look like someone who decides to take over the world?” Charly pointed out. After a chorus of Yes all around the table, she rolled her eyes. “It’s not my fault that hobbit holes are a strategically sound idea.”

“Apocalyptic Tolkien,” Tyche whistled. “I like it.”

“Sophia would have loved the library,” Coffey laughed.

My head shot up hard enough to make my neck hurt. “Library?”

He nodded. “Charly had the idea to go rescue every book we could find on camping, how-tos, engineering, historical infrastructure…”

“You just passed every class you are ever in, with flying colors,” Arthur nodded. “I had to make most of my people read - though we did end up with a library and decent bathing infrastructure.”

“Siege engines, Mr. Farro. We were building siege engines.”

He muttered something that sounded like “I will make up classes for you to pass,” but I was willing to bet that he would never admit it. Out loud, he just added “The fact that you not only read voluntarily but got other people to read without being forced has earned you extra credit.” She opened her mouth to object, but he held up a hand. “I’m being entirely serious, and no I won’t take it back.”

“I wasn’t going to try to survive an apocalypse without baths,” she scowled, stabbing a potato. “We may have ended the world, but we weren’t heathens.” Chewing so fast I thought she was going to choke, she immediately started asking Arthur about how he organized plumbing for his group.

“Trenches, aqueducts, and basically I got lucky because someone had a construction background.  We had some records of how Romans built their sewers with something close enough to the materials we had to work with so… it worked out.

With that, the conversation took off in the direction of infrastructure for post-apocalypse settlements, with Conor adding his opinion everywhere possible.  I knew there was no changing the topic, so I just shook my head and tried to keep up.

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[lookingforhobi]

♡ Wallflower  ♡

Pairing: Hoseok x Reader

au/genre/warning: Fluff; dancer Hoseok; Sunshine

Word Count: 3,776

You’re the type of person who prefers silence, feels awkward in a tiny hint of spotlight, enjoys time for yourself, being in your own bubble and keeping small circle of trusted friends,

He is loud, enjoys the attention, friends with almost everyone!

Then your world turned upside down when you find yourself sharing the light with the one you’ve warned yourself to stay away from.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You always hated when he jokes around and makes the whole class squirm when he starts singing, rapping or dancing. You hate that he makes you smile with the way he laugh- slapping whoever is beside him or basically throwing himself everywhere. Hate that he sometimes disturbs you with annoying jokes, and most of all..  you hate how he can stop you from breathing and functioning with just a glance or more so when he says your name.

Okay, he is good-looking. And yes, talented. And yes, despite his boisterous laughter and loud personality, he is also a smart-ass. He aces exams, professors love him, and he’s really quite serious with his studies. He’s almost-perfect. Almost...because he annoys you and you know that means trouble.

So you choose to stay away from him, never acquainted yourself to him or dare get his attention. You prefer glancing from afar and being just a wallflower. You’re accustomed to being in your own bubble, minding your own business and staying away from the popular ones. Besides, you already got a plate full of responsibilities- keeping up with school, volunteering, and your job to at least help you balance your life. You’re surviving and thriving with the way you modelled your life.

But fate laughed and played on you when the yearly talent-show of the whole Uni started. You love dancing, always been your getaway from all the stress of life but never dared to join dance clubs and the like. The only time you can showcase your dancing skills is when you are forced to, like school requirements or activities. And this time, life put the greatest test on you.

“Okay, settled then! Hoseok and Y/N will lead the class for this year’s event.” Said Namjoon, the class President, as you enter the classroom from your job. You were almost out of breath from running just to get in class on time.

“Sorry, what?” you almost shouted. “The class decided, you’ll work with Hoseok while the other officers will prepare for other stuff needed. We have seen your performance during the dance show last week for our PE class and we have decided you have the talent. It’s time to finally share it, yeah? We need you to get past this semester, Y/N. Consider this as a charity for the whole class. Please?” You looked at him... His innocent smile and dimples popping out. You need to act cool and just go on with it. “I guess I don’t have a choice? If Hoseok’s okay with it then sure." It feels new to you stepping up, but maybe it is about time to make a change. Besides, you needed a break from studying and working. But then, you reminded yourself to step away from the limelight as soon as this is all over. This is just a one time thing but you’re literally anxious. You decided to shake it away. He’s out of your league anyway so it will all be good. You’re good putting up a wall.

Rehearsals are scheduled everyday after school hours, sometimes even on weekends. So this means you have to endure a month of preparation with Hoseok. It was okay at first, it’s purely dancing and putting your ideas together as a team. Hoseok leads us most of the time as he is one heck of a perfectionist when it comes to his craft. Never miss a count or else…

“Annoying!” you unconsciously blurted under your breath. “Sorry, what was that, Y/N?” he asked with his eyebrows raising. “N-Nothing. Just go on with the rehearsal. You’re good.” you said not even looking at him. You are literally shaking because him raising his eyebrows means you’re in great trouble. “Hey, this is OUR responsibility. I need you here. Please focus, Y/N!” He points at your phone, signalling to put it down. He is one perfectionist, and clearly a strict mentor! Most of the squad shivers when it’s time for business. But never forgets to be the Sunshine that he is during rest periods. He have different personas, which draws your attention to him even more. But you chose to stay in the shadow, as it is where you are comfortable…away from sunshine. You sighed and put down your phone. “Okay, from the top.” You almost shouted with annoyance.

“Okay, that’s a wrap. Tomorrow’s our free-time since you all did well today. Be careful of the rain! And inform me or Y/N if you reached your houses safely. Night, team. You all are amazing!” Hoseok says with full of enthusiasm despite dancing for hours!

“urgh! Fuck it!” you cursed while trying to contact another Uber rider. You’ve been trying to book a cab since the last break but to no avail.

“What’s wrong, Y/N?” Hoseok asked as he packs his stuff. All the squad are gone and now you’re here with alone with your worse nightmare.

“Uber have been cancelling on me, that’s why I am so annoyed the whole time. Sorry for it, I will try not to affect my performance next time." you said with a sigh.

“Okay, just this time. Your mood shows in your dance. Come on, I’ll drive you home. I don’t want you getting sick,". Hoseok said casually.

“No, no. It’s fine. I’m good" you insisted. “Y/N, it’s night time. It’s raining. You’re my partner and my responsibility.” He looked at you and you literally gasp for air. You need to practice putting a shield up around this guy. He’s melting every inch of you with just one look. You hated it!

You managed to nod despite trying to control your breathing as he moved closer. “We need to run to my car though. I parked it there" Hoseok lead the way out of the dance studio. The rain was pouring hard, and your clothes literally hugged the shape of your body as you run towards his car. “Jump in!” he shouted as he opens the door for you. “Just our luck! We might stay here for a while. I can’t see a thing!” Hoseok exclaimed. Zero visibility means a high chance of road accidents, and you don’t want that.

“Do you have extra clothes? You can change. I promise, I’ll try not to look.” He said with a smirk.

“Urgh. I used all my extra clothes. Thanks to your nonstop dancing and glaring Mr. Jung Hoseok.” you glared with annoyance in your voice.

He laughed and pointed at the back seat “I have clean shirt and towel here.”

He leaned towards the back seat and accidentally touched your shoulder. You tremble with his touch. It sends a lot of emotions and damn butterflies everywhere. Again, you hated it!

“Are you sure? Don’t dare to look or ISTG it’ll be your last day, Hoseok" you warned. He laugh and winked, annoying you a little more. You try to cover yourself with the towel but failed. “Let me" He said almost whispering. You can feel your heart beat so fast, and your body begging for air.

He holds both ends of towel and closed his eyes “I’m not gonna look. You got to trust me. So go ahead.” He said.

He looks so perfect upclose. His lips slightly pursed. His dimples showing. His perfect lashes. His nose you just wanna pinch. He looks so calm and ethereal. “Done?” he asked, bringing you back to your consciousness.

“N-not yet.” you immediately removed your wet clothes and put on his clothes. You scolded your self as you try to keep your breathing under control. “Okay, done. Thank you.” you said as you catch your breath.

“Wow, my shirt goods on you" Hoseok compliments, looking at you from head to toe. “I’ll give it back if that’s what you’re thinking” you said shyly. “No keep it, I like it better on you" he smiled. And for the first time, you found yourself smiling back, taking in the complement from him.

“I think we’re good to go. Do you wanna grab dinner first?” he asked. You shake your head. As much as you want to spend time outside your house, your body is just too tired and cold.

When you reached your house, the rain is already stopping. “Do you wanna go inside? It’s the least thing I could do for your....kindness" you asked, genuinely thanking him. “Sure. You have dinner? I’m starving!” he said without hesitation. “I’ll cook. But you’re not gonna tell anyone!” you replied, as you roll your eyes. You’re not the type of girl who would put on great effort for food, as long as it is edible it’s okay for you. Besides, you’re used to feeding just yourself. But this time, you out-done yourself.

“Hmmm. This is delicious! I didn’t know you’re this good.” He said. “Oh Hoseok, there are more things I am good at" you blurted without thinking. He smirk, and his gaze turned dark. “L-like... like....” you try to look for things but he laughed aloud. “Let me explore that side of you, Y/N. You really caught my attention since the beginning, you know" he said without breaking eye-contact. “What? How? I never wanted to be in the spotlight. I prefer being a wallflower. So how can you say that?" you said almost whispering. Urgh this Hoseok effect is taking it’s toll on you.

“You shine everywhere you go, Y/N. It’s hard not to notice you" he whispered.

He moved closer and you find yourself leaning towards him, too.

“woaaaah Hoseok! Why are you here?” Blurted your annoying little brother Jungkook. Hoseok bit his lips and slowly smirk at you while turning to Jungkook. “Hey there. I dropped Y/N here.”

Jungkook looked at you with his wide, annoying smirk. “We just finished rehearsals. So... you wanna eat? I cooked dinner" you try to act chill but your voice is failing you.

“You what??? You never cooked for me! What's...” Jungkook was about to say more but you glared at him. You don’t want Hoseok to have a hint, or whatever. He immediately grabbed a plate and start eating while talking to Hoseok about gym and music. But you know deep inside your annoying brother, he will never let this to rest.

You walked Hoseok out of the house after dinner. The rain finally stopped and it was getting late.

“Thank you for driving me home" you said shyly. “Thank you for the wonderful dinner" he said.

You stood there for a couple of minutes, not wanting this to end. Until he gently pulled you towards him...

“Come here" he whispered. You stood frozen and he enveloped you into a tight hug. You felt secured, safe, comfortable inside his arms. “H-Hoseok..” you whispered shakily. “s-sorry Y/N. It’s...sorry. I have to go then" he retreats. You smiled and bit your lips still trying to gain composure. “I’ll call you...when I get home. “ he said and left.

 He called after few minutes for a quick goodnight. You never talked about the hug or whatever happened that night. You leave it at that, you’re fine. It’s confusing for you but you prefer not to say a word. Better to stay as a wallpaper than share the spotlight and gain attention. You’ve been a wallflower since then, and it’s best for you to stay like that…. Hopefully until graduation.

-------

“Y/N! What time did you finish rehearsal last Friday?” asked Lia, my bff. “Not late. Why?” you answered while subtly looking around the classroom. “Heard you went home late?” teased Ryujin. You stared at them wide-eyed and they laughed. “No, Hoseok drove me home. Uber’s been a pain in the ass so I have no choice.” They both have this silly wide smile. You never told anyone what happened but clearly, your brother can’t get a hold of his tongue when it comes to Ryujin.

“Y/N", someone whispered from behind. “Y/N! Babe!” Hoseok said loudly that the class stopped. “What the--?” you glared back at him. “What? You’re not answering so I had to say it louder.” He said jokingly. “You’re annoying. Stay away from me Jung Hoseok!” you shouted back. You put your earphones on to ignore him and the class mocking you both. He seems to enjoy this teasing, you don’t. You hate him for that. You hated the teasing and the fact that he’s very vocal. Seems like it is just a joke, everything’s a joke. He will never get serious. “This is why I prefer to stay away from you. You’re trouble” you said to yourself.

*text message*

9:01 am: Hey, it was just a joke.

9:01 am: Please...

9:02 am: Look, I did something for you...

9:03 am: Y/N!!!!

9:03 am: I'll shout again.

 You looked to his direction and he showed you a flower that he drew *insert Hobi's drawing *

You rolled your eyes and texted him back.

*text*

You: I’m a wallflower. I’m invisible. I prefer to stay that way. So please, whatever you’re planning to do, Hoseok, leave me out of it.

Hoseok: you’re not a wallflower. I see you. You shine.

You: stop it, Hoseok. Right now. Please.

 You put your phone inside your bag and tried to ignore Hoseok for the rest of the day. He keeps on bugging you still, but you never let your guard down. Besides, you can hear him from afar because of his loud voice and boisterous laughter which is so easy for you to spot and stay away from. His energy transcends beyond the school walls, and he’s making your shield tremble.

 During rehearsal, you can’t ignore him anymore. It’s going to be tough but you tried to keep it professional. But just as he said, your emotions can sometimes be shown in your performance. Even the whole squad knows you’re ignoring him.

“Okay. Great job. Tomorrow, same time. Same venue. And I expect everyone to give their best.” Hoseok ended the rehearsal as usual with a bossy, straight-forward attitude but with a sunshine smile.

“I’ll drive you home,” he whispered to your ears, sending signals in your body. You gasp when he moved closer and freeze when he gently touched your head. You were determined to turn him down earlier that day, but with simple touch you totally forgot that plan. You’ve been resisting, but he still won’t let go. He gave you food and water during the rehearsal break, he even gave you extra towel while you were mentoring one of the dancer. He keeps on reminding you to drink, asks for your opinion, and smiles once in a while in your direction. Whatever this is, you’re not sure. But you like the feeling of attention, it’s all new to you. You hated it, that’s for sure. But everything change when you let Hoseok pull you towards the light. Everyone notices you now, you’re getting compliments and people starts to notice the things you do and the things you excel at. It is new, and exciting, and overwhelming at the same time. Thanks to Hoseok who first noticed you, before you even notice yourself.

 You stayed that way during the whole preparation time. He drives you home after rehearsals, and sometimes he picks you up during weekends. He’d park his car and have lunch in one of his favourite spot few minutes away from the city. You never talked about labels, you just enjoy talking on the phone with him till you both fall asleep, you just want to enjoy a bit of attention he gives you during school hours. He respects your wish not to disturb you or do anything cheesy during class. You both settled with silence of each other’s company. You get used to him following you around the campus- annoyingly but still being subtle. His friends stopped teasing you both when they start noticing that things between you are getting serious. It’s not just about the dance, partnerships or the fun of it now. You don’t know, but he’s changing you.

 During class, he would sit far away from you. But during break time, he made sure to remind you to eat and drink. Sometimes he asks if he can sit down with your friends and couldn’t get his eyes off of you. It was uncomfortable at first, but then you found yourself looking to his direction when he’s not sited beside you. You even let him join your laboratory group and would help you manage to get through your fears of needles. You started to trust him and let him enter your bubble. Soon, you both were inseparable. Sharing sandwiches and even drinks.

“So tell me, what’s with you and Hoseok?” asks Lia. You shrugged your shoulder because that’s the truth. You do not know! You never talked about labels, who you are in his life, what’s the deal with all his sweetness and why are you letting him take the lead. “I just want to warn you, that thing-whatever you both have, is not good. You’re in for a heartbreak.” Ryujin voiced out her concern. “You need to ask him. People are starting to notice, you know. Even other class are asking and girl, get out. It’s big drama for those girls.” You sighed in response. They are right, girls have been very unsupportive with you.

 On the day of the event, you prepared yourself to ask the big question. You’re not the confrontation kind of person but you need to settle this once and for all. Besides, you promised yourself at the beginning that this is just a temporary thing. After this task, you’ll go back to your own bubble, away from light.

 “Wanna know my secret?” Hoseok asked before you go up the stage. “What?” you asked shakily. “I hate the spotlight, too" he said seriously. And for once you can sense his uneasiness. You unconsciously held his hand and smiled “You got this. Just think we’re still inside that dance studio. It’s just us.” you smiled. He pulled you into a tight hug and sighed, “What am I gonna do without you, babe?” he whispered and kissed your forehead which left you frozen for a moment.

“Can you celebrate after we get that trophy?” one of the squad teased and you immediately stepped back from each other. With shaky breaths and unstable heart beat, you went up the stage and dance your emotions away.

It was one tough performance. All groups are so great. But in the end, your squad won. It was one of the happiest moments but then reality sink in. It’s over. No more rehearsal flings and late night drives, what you have with Hoseok must come to an end, too. “Hey, you okay? We won but you seem off after the performance. Did I do something wrong?” he asked on your way to your house. You didn’t know how to answer so you just looked out the window and it seems like he can sense it too.

When you reached the house, Jungkook was nowhere. So no reason for him to stay longer. “Can I come inside? I think we need to talk" he said seriously. You just nodded without a single word, afraid of what’s coming. As you stepped closer inside, you can feel the impending end of what was the heart-stopping fling you’ve ever had.

“What's wrong, Y/N?” Hoseok asked wearily. “Hoseok, what are we?” you asked directly without looking at him. “We? Us?” he asked back, dumbfounded. You tightly closed your eyes trying not to cry in front of him. “We are perfectly happy with each other. We compliment each other. Aren’t we?” he asked, as he slowly lift your chin up. “Y-yes. But... are we...?” you shook my head and sighed. “I don’t know, Baby. All I know is I can’t stop thinking about you. I can’t focus if I can’t see you. I need you. I like you, Y/N. Isn’t it obvious?” he whispered. You can hear his sincerity,  you can feel it. “Okay.” you answered. “Don’t you feel the same way?” Hoseok asked. “I....I do. But I don’t want to assume things. I-" you didn’t finish talking. Hoseok put one finger over your lips to stop you. “oh Baby...” he whispered and touched his forehead into your.

He leaned closer and your heart starts pounding real hard. Your belly tightening, and your whole system shuts down. You closed my eyes and felt his lips kiss your shoulder and then he kissed your forehead. “Y/N. I---I want to kiss you real bad,” he whispered, asking for permission. You smiled and bit your lips.  It started with a simple peck. All of your worries and what-nots slowly fading away. This, you like this. You like the feeling of security and warmth he gives you. You love the fact that he sees you even if you can’t even see yourself. That you shine for him and so does he. You let go, finally. You let him take the lead. And you know, whatever happens next, he will never let you go. You can feel his tongue gliding over your lips asking for permission. His hands roam at your back, slowly caressing every inch. It was sweet, and hot.. and the kiss deepens. He pulled you closer... You anchored your hands on the back of his neck and begin fondling his hair. His hands glide to your waist, slightly pinching your sides. You gasp and let out a small moan. “Hmm. I like that sound" he whispered, and pinched you again gently. “H-Hoseok...” you moaned his name under your breath.

“Y/N, you’re making me want to do things!” he laughed with husky voice. You looked at him and bit your lips. He smirk, “don’t look at me like that. I don’t want to force you to do things that you don’t want to do, Y/N". He tried to get away but...

“What if I want to?” you bravely answered. You have enough teasing. Yes, you hated it. You want him. You want him and all his annoying traits!

“Oh baby" he whispered and went on kissing you. This time, deeper, harsher... Like thirsty individuals tasting wine for the first time. You drunk all the feeling and stopped fighting. You let go.

“Do you wanna go upstairs?” you smirked. “Oh anywhere with you, Baby" Hoseok answered.

[give-me-back-my-rhodey]

Make ME

Title: Make Me Creator: Purple_ducky00 Rating: Teen Warnings: none applicable Relationship: Sam/bucky Square Filled: O3 – Undercover Mission for @samwilsonbingo Summary: Sam and Bucky get under each other’s skin, and neither of them can stand the other. How long til these idiots learn that it’s not hate, but love between them? Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29754915

Prompted from this post by @rambeaus

“Who died and made you king?” Bucky grumbles.

 Sam throws up his hands in annoyance. “For fuck’s sake Barnes! You know this is the best way to do this!”

 “No, I don’t! This way has many flaws. The slightest movement could set off a chain reaction of…” Bucky’s tirade is cut off by Natasha walking between them with sterile gloves and picking up the mouse trap, sticking the remains of the mouse and the trap in a plastic bag.  She rolls her eyes at them and walks out of the kitchen.

“Do you see what you just did there? This could have all been taken care of if you just listened to me!” Sam growls.

 Smirking Bucky turns away. “Bite me.”

 Sam’s temper flares as he watches Bucky walk away. What is it about the soldier that makes Sam’s blood boil? Every interaction they have ends in an argument… And for some reason, Rhodes had put them on the same team! When a few deep breaths don’t calm him down, Sam heads to the gym. Might as well let out some aggression on something he can’t hurt.

 ++++++++ “What were you thinking putting those two on the same team?” Tony laughs as he lays down in his husband’s lap. “The UST is off the charts. They are going to finally snap and either kill or fuck each other.”

 Rhodey shakes his head. “I know. And that’s why I put them on the same team. I’m sick and tired of them skirting around the issue. No use delaying the inevitable. They both have too much of a sense of duty to not complete the mission, and I’m going to assign a mission leader to go with them to keep them on track. Now, who should that sucker be?”

 “I would tell you Steve because I love trolling him, but he would only stop them from doing either. Give the job to Sharon. She deserves it after the whole blow-dryer incident.”

 “Tony, that was five years ago.”

 The retired superhero sits up to glare at Rhodey. “I’m still not over it.”

 “Ok, ok. I’ll send Sharon. She’s close with them anyways. Hopefully, she knocks some sense into them.” Rhodey concedes.

  +++++++++++++++++

Sam and Bucky are seated across the table from each other in the conference room, listening to Sharon’s plan. “So, we’re going undercover as actors in the Bachelorette.  We have intel that the host of the show is somehow funneling contraband drugs and black-market arms for HYDRA. Bucky, Tony made you a flesh-like sleeve for your arm, and we are all going to be using holomasks to cover our identity. Do you both have your characters memorized?”

 “Yes. I am Tucker Acktenbee. Raised by my mother and her sisters, I know how to appeal to the feminine side. Growing up in Massachusetts, I love seafood and cranberry jam and pies. Before I applied here, I graduated from LSU with a bachelor’s degree in English. I am twenty-six, and my birthday is October 19.” Bucky says as he pulls the holomask over his face. He looks like a completely different person.

 Sam rolls his eyes and does the same. “Hey, baby. My name is Joshua Perkins. Born and raised in New Orleans, I also share an affinity for seafood, but my insides can handle the spice. No one’s going to want a bland piece of white bread like Tucker when this bombshell is available. With a master’s degree in psychology, I’m here to help with whatever emotional needs a woman has. I’ll be twenty-seven on April 15th.”

 “Good. Good.” Sharon nods. “Just so you remember, I am going to be in the camera crew so my ears will be open for any rumors. Pack your stuff. We have to be on set in 24 hours to rehearse.”

 “I don’t know about you, Barnes, but I’m going to win that Bachelorette’s heart.” Sam nudges Bucky with his shoulder.

 “Better a fake relationship than none for you, I guess.”

 This man makes him so angry! “Fuck you.”

 “Nah, better leave that for Miss Bachelorette.” Bucky sends him a syrupy grin and walks out of the room before Sam can reply.

 “Arrrgh!” He groans, and Sharon looks at him strangely. “Sorry, Shar. He just gets under my skin so easily. I just want to strangle him sometimes!”

“Yeah… strangle him…” She nods slowly.

 “What are you implying?”

 Raising her hands in surrender, Sharon backs up. “Hey, I’m not kink shaming. You do you, my friend. Just don’t tell me about it.” She picks up her clipboard and tablet. “Wheels up in nine hours.”

  Kink shame? What the fuck? Needless to say, Sam is very confused.  There is nothing kinky about his and Bucky’s relationship. They clash at every turn. If he slammed the door when he stormed out of the room, he’ll never admit it.

 ++++++++++++

“Hello and welcome to The Bachelorette! I am your host, Chris Harrison. Join me as we find this year’s Bachelorette a husband. At age 28, Penelope Darnea previously worked in insurance but is looking to branch out to another occupation. She loves baseball and the beach and is always down for a margarita. Now, let’s take you to our woman of the hour as she greets the contestants!”

 Bucky is one of the first contestants to the mansion. Penelope Darnea is a beautiful woman with societal “perfect” features. As he walks up the stairs to the mansion, she greets him. “Hello, welcome to the mansion! Tucker Acktenbee?”

 “Yes, it is.“  Bucky leans down to kiss her hand. “Can I tell you just how ravishing you look? The man you choose will be incredibly lucky indeed.”

 Blushing, Penelope waves him on. “I can tell that you’re a charmer.” Bucky is escorted to a room in the mansion as Ms. Darnea greets the next contestant. He uses the time he has to think about the mission. Somehow, they have to act as contestants for the Bachelorette and figure out how they are funneling the money without the network realizing. And he has to do it with Sam.

 His therapist once asked him “What does Sam do that gets on your nerves?”

 “The better question is what does he do that doesn’t get on my nerves?” Bucky had replied. They always have the stupidest of arguments about the most meaningless things. Both of them hate to lose. His head perks up when he hears someone in the hall. “Here is your room, Mr. Perkins. If you need anything, please ring the bell.” The host goes through everything as he did in Bucky’s room.

  “Thank you, sir. Much appreciated.” Oh fuck. That’s Sam’s voice. Bucky understands why they would put Sam beside him in case a quick update to the mission is needed, but to hear that voice at all times of the day? He can only take so much torture. Thankfully, a host comes to get him for an “exclusive” interview. Bucky stays true to his character but does not miss Sharon manning the camera.

 After the interview, he is told that he can fraternize with the other contestants, but he cannot use someone else’s set time with the Bachelorette for his own. That is an instant disqualification. Bucky confirms his understanding and returns to his room. Changing into a new outfit, he decides to take a walk through the house. He’ll let Sam come to him first.

 ++++++++++++++++++

A week goes by, and the second rose ceremony is coming up. Both Sam and Bucky make sure to spend time with Ms. Darnea, but also meet up in Bucky or Sam’s room every night to see if they’ve seen anything suspicious.

 Bucky has kept a close eye on the host but so far nothing looks fishy. Sam has been scanning other cast and crew members and has come up with nothing. They are quickly running out of options, but there are still a good portion of contestants left.

 “Why don’t we check the host’s quarters? He has to have something there.” Bucky suggests. That was the dumbest fucking thing Sam has ever heard in his life. “Dude. There are cameras everywhere. If we get caught, our cover is blown. We have to just wait for some kind of shipment to get here. The set can’t have had enough food stocked for a month.”

 “But what if we can’t wait that long? What if he’s getting stuff out another way? Then HYDRA has supplies, and they’ll hurt more people. We can’t let them do that.”

 Sam scoffs. “What do you think they have? Air ducts under the mansion?”

 “Go fuck yourself.” Bucky gives him the finger.

 “Make me.”

 Bucky’s eyes darken in anger. “I just might….” He cannot finish his sentence before there’re is a knock on the door.

 “Mr. Perkins, your date is set up.”  Someone calls through the door.

 “Now if you’ll excuse me,” Sam smirks and straightens his collar, “I have a woman to seduce Tah tah! Have fun!” And then he sashays out, enjoying the look of pure anger on “Tucker’s” face.

 He walks down the hallway with the camera crew following him to the porch outside where Penelope is waiting. “Well Joshua, what date do you have planned for us tonight?”

 “Well, my lady, you say you like excitement, correct? I have bought us tickets for skydiving. Does that sound enjoyable to you? Once done, we will grab dinner at that new Italian restaurant, Sal’s, I think? They serve the best tiramisu.”

 “Oh, that sounds lovely.” Penelope purrs, rubbing his arm with her hand.

 Crooking his elbow, Sam offers his arm. “Shall we go?”

 It is long after midnight when the couple returns from the restaurant. Sam looks up and sees the curtains are halfway open in Bucky’s room. That means he has some news. “I dd not realize they like you stay the entire night.” Penelope marvels. “Wow, Joshua, you are so cultured.”

 “Oh, it’s nothing. “Sam waves it off. “Just something I’ve picked up in my travels. Have a good night Beautiful. I hope to see you again tomorrow. Water aerobics class?”

  “Why yes. I do love water aerobics.” The bachelorette pokes his shoulder with hard, bony fingers. It hurts! Taking his leave of the lovely Bachelorette, he goes back to his room until the cameras leave. Then he walks over to Bucky’s, who updates him on the next shipment coming in. They will be ready then.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++

It is the day after the latest Rose Ceremony. There are only five contestants left. We have gathered these remaining contenders to give another “exclusive” interview. “So how are you feeling about the contest?” The host asks each participant in their interviews. Here are the responses.

 “I’m feeling pretty good about it. Ellie and I have had many a good date together. I do think she will choose me in the end.” Carlton Hayweather comments.

 Nathan Abbey snorts. “Well, there are five of us left, so she can only pick one, right? And the amount of time Perkins and Acktenbee spend in each other’s rooms, we really don’t have to worry about them. So basically, there’s three of us.”

 “I’m feeling confidant,” Joshua Perkins leans back in his chair. “I believe I have made her laugh the most, and I do believe humor and friendship are major keys in a relationship.”

 Terrance Filippo tilts his head. “Eh, if I win, I win. If I don’t, I don’t.”

 But it’s Tucker Acktenbee who wins the hearts of most watchers. “Penelope is a very strong woman. I trust that she knows who is best for her. I do hope it is me, of course, but should she choose another, we must all concede fair and square. We have to stop assuming we know what women want or need. She is capable of knowing it herself, and I wish her the best.”

 Are you excited for the next round? I am!

 ++++++++++

“Tucker, Joshua? The producers of the show would like to meet with you.” An event manager pulls them from the pool area.

 When they arrive in the office, the head producer, Carole Teller, claps her hands. “Great acting out there! Have you seen this interview?” She shoves a tablet in front of their faces. Nathan Abbey’s face is centered on the screen.

 “Oh, he thinks we’re gay?” Bucky asks.

 “Yes, and if you are, we don’t discriminate, although I wonder why you’re here if you are. But it doesn’t matter. The question is, would you be able to pretend at least for the screen? I don’t mean a full make-out session, but maybe the camera catches a glimpse of you two in the corner. Ratings will go up, and there will be added drama.”

 Bucky is about to object when Sam shrugs. “Sure. We can do that. Is that all you need?”

 “Yes. Thank you for coming in. Good work out there!” She chirps and then turns her full attention onto something else.

 “I guess we’re dismissed.” Sam shrugs. “Come back to my room. We have to strategize.”

 Once they get back to Sam’s room, Bucky pushes Sam up against the wall. “What the fuck did you agree to that for?” He hisses. “First of all, that means the show is queerbaiting and I don’t like that! Second of all, how is this going to help us?”

  “We can hide in little alleyways and closets. Who knows what clues we could find there? Do you hate me that much that we can’t play nice and kissy for a week or so?”

 “I can kiss you. I am a great actor, thank you very much.” Bucky leaves go of Sam.

 “Then do it. Kiss me.” Sam challenges. “Make me.” Bucky thinks the conversation would be ended there, but Sam grabs him by the face and plants a deep kiss on this lip. Caught off guard, Bucky is not ready for that, but quickly kisses Sam back.

 “Wow. That wasn’t so bad after all.” Sam says, wiping his face with his sleeve.

 Bucky scratches the back of his head. “Not… too… bad, I guess.”

 Now that one kiss has been made, many more are to come. Bucky and Sam take advantage of their “hidden relationship” to sneak into closets and hallways. They find that the next shipment will be coming in early the next morning.

 Bucky is taken away to get ready for his date. The dinner and show are quite enjoyable, and Penelope asks him back to her room. Bucky agrees. Once inside the door with the cameras off, she pushes him to a machine and flips the switch. The electricity runs through him and holds him to the machine. Tsk what am I going to do with you?” Penelope asks. “You shouldn’t have come, Asset.”

  “You can’t…. control me. The words don’t…. work anymore.” Bucky forces out through his pain.

 “True that might be, but I can break you. My mother broke you the first time. Don’t think I don’t have her notes.” She smiles wickedly. “Too bad you had to snoop in places you just didn’t belong. Now I’m going to take you and all my goods< and I’m taking you back to base where we can finish our experiments. How does that sound?”

 “Like we got it all on tape!” Sam bursts through the door. “Hands up Lady. We’ve got you.” He rips off his holomask, showing his face.

 “Drop the gun, or I electrocute him.” Penelope warns.

  Sam puts the gun on the floor and slides it halfway over to the villainess. As she bends down to get it, Bucky summons his strength to break free of the current and kicks her. Immediately, Sam tackles Penelope to the ground and wrestles the switch from her, accidentally setting it on high. Bucky convulses and screams. In panic mode, Sam clicks off the current and frees Bucky, who falls to the ground, unmoving. Quickly chaining the Bachelorette to the machine, Sam works on reviving Bucky. “Bucky! No! You can’t die. I just realized that I love you, and if you don’t wake up and get up, so help me I will kill you myself.”

  Bucky’s lips move minutely, and he whispers something. Sam leans down to heard Faintly, Bucky whispers with a grin, “Make me.”.

[ghosttotheparty]

say my name and say it twice

32. also on AO3 chapter thirty-one

Lucas drifts off after Jens leaves, after hearing the front door shut behind him and Zoë. He’s anxious for him, knowing how nervous he must be. 

There’s a strange silence after the door shuts, an empty, lonely silence. As he buries his face into the pillow, pulling the blanket up over his face (it smells like Jens), he thinks maybe he’s somehow just never realised how quiet the flat really is. He usually isn’t up this early, and even when he stays up late, he tends to have his headphones on, or he’s on the phone with Jens, the two of them whispering and giggling to each other. But in the early morning, the air in his room chilly outside the thick blanket on top of him, it’s quiet. 

He can hear his own heart beating, can feel his pulse in his wrists on his neck, can hear his own breaths. It feels like something is missing. At first, he thinks it could be a noise, any noise, maybe rain or wind, or noise that he usually wakes up to, like Milan playing music from the kitchen or Senne walking past his room. (Though he’s fairly certain that Senne left early this morning for classes.) 

Lucas moves the blanket off of his face and lets the cold air wash over his face. He sighs, opening his eyes for a second before letting them fall closed again, rolling over and tucking the blanket under his chin, curling into himself, his knees drawing to his chin. The sweater he has on is light, and even under the blanket, he shivers.

He realises what he’s missing. 

After Jens came back to bed after talking to Zoë, Lucas had immediately drawn him in, pulling him close and feeling his arms wrap around him, his face press to Lucas’s chest, his legs entwine with Lucas’s. They spent the whole night like that, tangled together. It was warm. 

Eventually, Lucas drifts off. He doesn’t know when or how, especially with his shivering and restlessness, but he wakes up to Milan’s music quietly playing from the kitchen. Lucas opens his eyes, rolling onto his back and stretching, and sighs. 

Then he grins. 

He throws the blanket off of himself, getting up from the bed, stopping for a second after standing up too fast, and then grabs a pair of sweatpants from the floor, stumbling as he pulls them on while heading to the door. 

Milan is dancing by himself, swaying his hips as he flips a pancake at the stove, and Lucas pauses in the doorway, trying to push the smile off his face before going in. 

“Good morning,” he says, a little more brightly than he intended. 

“Morning, lovely,” Milan responds, turning slightly to shoot him a smile over his shoulder, reaching across the counter and turning down the music. “How are you doing today?” 

“Uhm, I’m good,” Lucas says, understating the condition of his heart at the moment. “And you?” he asks as he sits on the table, setting his feet on the chair in front of him. He pulls the sleeves of his sweater down over his hands, bunching them up in his fists. 

“I’m having a very good morning, very chill. Maybe it’s because Senne isn’t here,” Milan teases, and Lucas snorts. 

“I’m gonna tell him you said that.” 

“He wouldn’t be surprised.” 

Lucas chuckles lightly, watching as Milan flips a pancake before taking it off the pan and setting it on a plate, on top of a pile of pancakes Lucas hadn’t noticed. 

“That’s a lot of pancakes,” he says, trying not to laugh. 

“I’m making a lot so Zoë and Senne can have some when they get home,” Milan says, carefully ladling some batter onto the pan. 

“Kind of you.” 

“If they’re not grateful, I’m eating all of them.” 

“What about me?” 

“You can have some, I guess.” 

“Thanks.” 

Milan sets the ladle in the bowl and turns to look at Lucas, who has to push another smile off his face. Milan puts his hands on his back, resting it against the counter. 

“You’re shiny today,” he says matter-of-factly. 

Lucas raises an eyebrow and tilts his head, confused. 

“Your spirit,” Milan clarifies. “It’s shiny.”

The smile finally breaks through and Lucas has to look away, grinning as he shrugs, trying to be nonchalant. 

“What’s going on?” Milan asks suspiciously, narrowing his eyes. “You’re up to something.” 

“Uhm…” Lucas sighs, twisting his mouth to the side, trying to figure out to tell him. “There’s something I need to tell you.” 

“Okay…” His eyes narrow more and he turns his head. “Is it good or bad? I’m assuming good because you can’t stop smiling.” “Good. Definitely good.” 

“Okay, tell me.” He crosses his arms, an apprehensive smile forming on his face.

Lucas sighs again, grinning, and looks away, leaning back. 

“You’re gonna hate me and love me,” he says. 

“Oh my god, just tell me!” Milan says, laughing.

“Uhm…” “Lucas!”

“Jens and I are dating,” he bursts. 

“What—”

“And we’ve been together for a while, we met before the get together where I met all the guys, but he wasn’t out, and he wasn’t ready, so we just pretended—” 

“Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,” Milan interrupts, waving his hands and closing his eyes like he’s clearing the air. “Start over.”

Lucas giggles, feeling his face heat up under Milan’s gaze. He adjusts his seat on the table, turning more in Milan’s direction. 

“So—” 

“Wait, you guys already knew each other?” 

“...Yeah.” 

“I don’t get credit for this?” 

“No, I’m sorry.”

Milan let out a disappointed “Ah,” and turns away, seemingly distraught, before grinning and running his hands through his hair. 

“Oh my god,” he says in a high-pitched voice, almost a squeal. “I’m so happy for you guys.” 

Lucas beams, his shoulders lifting into a bashful shrug, but they drop when he hears sizzling. 

“Milan, your pancake is burning.” 

“Oh, shit.” Milan turns around, quickly grabbing the spatula and flipping it over. “That’s fine, we can give that one to Senne.” Lucas rolls his eyes. “Okay anyway, tell me everything. I want details.”

“Uh…” Lucas sighs, wondering where to start. “You know I like wandering around the city and taking photos and stuff…”

“Mm-hmm.” 

“One day I just stopped outside, like, a convenience store, and a bunch of people came out of the building next to it, and there was this one boy…” Lucas is smiling wistfully at the ground, reminiscing, remembering how beautiful he was, standing there with his friends. “And we just kind of made eye contact…” He trails off, looking up to see that Milan has his back against the counter again, smiling at Lucas like he’s watching him take his first steps. Lucas lifts a hand, shrugging. 

“And that was it? That’s how you met?” He sets the pancake on the plate and turns back to look at Lucas. 

“Actually, he left and we didn’t say anything, so I kind of… went back there every day at the same time for a week, and—” 

“What?” Milan cackles. 

“And,” Lucas continues, “eventually he was there again and we hung out.” “You went on a date that soon?” 

“Well it wasn’t really a date, we were just hanging out, but eventually he asked if I wanted to get coffee with him, and we just…” Lucas sighs, leaning his head back and grinning, his legs swinging happily. “And obviously we exchanged numbers and we call, like, every night. Except for the ones we spend together,” he adds, quieter, but he catches Milan’s head turn to him sharply. 

“Together?” Milan asks, raising his eyebrows and crossing his arms. “And when— when has this happened?” he asks like he’s interrogating Lucas, who laughs and scratches the back of his neck. 

“Last night…” 

“Wha— I did not approve of this!” 

“Milan, I’m seventeen. And he’s my boyfriend.” 

He doesn’t respond, crossing one arm over his waist and covering a growing smile with his other hand, setting his chin on his palm. 

“Your boyfriend,” he says fondly. 

“My boyfriend,” Lucas agrees, nodding. 

“Who made the first move?” Milan asks after they spend a second just smiling. 

“Me,” Lucas says, laughing. “I asked him to hang out, and I kissed him first. But then he kissed me.” He thinks for a second. “He said ‘I love you’ first.” 

“He said—” Milan squeaks, slapping a hand over his mouth and sighing. 

Lucas grins, kicking his feet in front of himself. 

“Can I have a pancake?” he asks after a second, and Milan drops his hand.

“Oh, sure,” he says, turning and grabbing one from the plate. He tosses it to Lucas and Lucas just barely catches it, the tips of his fingers snatching in the air before it can fall to the ground. He hears Milan chuckle to himself and he looks up, furrowing his brows and jutting out his chin. 

“What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“I don’t know,” Milan says, still laughing to himself, and he turns back to the griddle, lifting the ladle from the bowl of batter. He carefully pours some in a circle, smiling at the sizzling. “You said you wanted one.” 

“On a plate, dumbass.” 

“Just be grateful.” 

Lucas makes a face at him even though he isn’t looking and takes a bite out of it. 

“Is it good?” Milan asks. 

“It’s definitely a pancake.”

--- 

Lucas doesn’t remember to tell Senne about everything until Jens is already knocking on the door. It’s been days since Lucas told Milan, who’s hassled him every chance since, “When is Jens coming over?” “Where’s your boyfriend?” “Do you spend any time with him at all?” Lucas has avoided telling him they haven’t seen each other much lately because Jens has been spending so much time practising and rehearsing for his recital. 

Lucas is excited about the recital. Since Jens asked him to go, every time he’s thought about it, his stomach has swooped like a roller coaster car. He’s even got his outfit out and ready for it, ready for when Lucas assumes he’ll wake up hours before he needs to, ready to meet with Robbe, Moyo, and Aaron tomorrow evening before the recital. 

“Who’s that?” Senne asks at the same time as Milan’s gasp, and Lucas pauses on his way to the door. 

“Uh… You’ll see.” 

Lucas catches Milan sending Senne a broad grin and shakes his head before leaving to the front door. 

“Hey, beautiful,” Jens says when Lucas swings the door open. 

“Hi,” Lucas says back, immediately stepping close and falling into him, pressing a lingering kiss to his lips before letting his head fall to Jens’s neck. Jens wraps his arms around him, swaying slightly and sighing. 

“Okay?” Jens asks, and Lucas hums, kissing his neck briefly. 

“Uhm,” he says when he stands up straight, tugging at Jens’s jacket, pulling him inside and out of the brisk afternoon air. “Milan is very excited to see you.”

“God, I love Milan.” 

“I know. He loves you too.” 

“It’s a good thing he does,” Jens says, taking off his jacket and hanging it up next to the door. “I don’t know what I’d do if he didn’t.” 

“Come on,” Lucas says after laughing lightly, grabbing Jens’s hand and pulling him down the hall into the living room. Jens lifts their hands and twirls him, dropping his arm over Lucas’s shoulder and leaning close to kiss his temple. 

“Hi,” Jens says as they enter the living room, his face brightening ups seeing Milan lounged across the sofa, his legs across Senne’s lap. 

“Hey!” Senne exclaims, surprised. He drops his phone and lifts a hand, pointing at them, a silent question hanging in the air. Are you…?

“Yeah,” Jens says, pulling Lucas in closer and kissing his head. Lucas’s face flushes and he smiles, wrapping his arms around Jens’s waist. 

“You’re so cute,” Milan says, and he turns where he’s laying, twisting his back and lifting his phone to take a picture. Jens lifts a peace sign and Lucas hides his face in Jens’s chest. “What are you doing this fine evening?” Milan asks after lowering his phone. 

“Hanging out,” Jens says, looking down at Lucas. “Getting ready for tomorrow.” 

“What’s tomorrow?” Senne asks, still smiling. 

“I have a ballet recital,” Jens says simply. “Lucas is helping me prepare.” 

“Am I?”

“Yeah, so I don’t have, like, an anxiety attack because I’m… stressed.”

“Oh, okay.” Lucas drops his head against Jens’s chest. 

“A ballet recital?” Senne says, his expression identical to Milan’s, their brows furrowed in confusion. 

“Yeah, I got the solo this year.” (Lucas grins proudly.) “I’ve been practising every day for the past few weeks and now I just need to…” He sighs. “Chill.” 

Lucas lets go of his waist and grabs his hand again, walking backwards out of the room and pulling Jens with him. 

“Ohhh…” Senne says, watching them with a sly smile. He calls, “Be safe!” as they turn the corner, out of sight, and Lucas leans back in to make a face and lift his middle finger to him. He can still hear his and Milan’s giggling as Jens shuts his bedroom door behind them. 

“Hi,” he says again as Jens pulls him in, slipping his fingers into his hair as their mouths meet, their lips part, their tongues press together. Jens hums lowly, sliding his hands over Lucas’s waist, under his pale blue hoodie and pressing against his skin. His fingers are cold. 

“I have a question,” Jens says when they part, after a quiet gasp. 

“Mm-hmm?” 

There’s a beat of silence before he asks. 

“Will you paint my nails for tomorrow?”

Lucas pulls his face away, looking into Jens’s eyes in surprise. 

“You want me to paint your nails?”

“Yeah, I mean…” He trails off, looking away, his cheeks turning pink. “I always thought it would be nice for a recital. And most of the girls do, so I figured…” He looks back at him. “Why not?” 

“Do you know what colour you want?” Lucas asks, starting to smile. Jens shrugs, tilting his head at Lucas and letting his arms gently drape around his waist. 

“Something dark, if you have it. It’ll go with what I’m wearing.”  

“Yeah,” Lucas says, kissing him once more before letting his arms fall from his neck and stepping back. “You still haven’t told me what you’re wearing,” he says as he grabs the red box of nail polish by the handle, lifting it and setting it on his desk. He shoots Jens a look, one eyebrow raised, as he opens its and begins rummaging through, finding all the dark bottles. 

“It’s a surprise.” Lucas scoffs, letting a bottle of black fall into the box with a clatter, remembering it’s gone dry and clumpy. 

“Robbe says you’re going to love it, though,” Jens continues. He crosses the room from where he was standing and sits on Lucas’s bed, cross-legged and watching him fondly. 

“So you’ve shown Robbe but not me?” 

“Mhmm.” Lucas glances up and Jens is nodding, smiling. “He says you’re going to love it,” he repeats. 

“I mean, I believe him.” 

“Good. I think you’ll love it too.” 

“Oh?” Lucas tilts his head, raising his eyebrows and pressing his lips together. “I’m excited.” He smiles when he hears Jens giggling. Lucas rolls his eyes and shakes his head and he cracks the window open and turns on the small fan on his desk.

He makes his way to the bed with several bottles of polish in hand, sitting across from Jens, mirroring him, his legs crossed. 

“Okay, these are all the good ones.” 

“Why did you just bring the box over so you can put the ones we don’t use away?” 

Lucas stares at the bottles in his hand before looking up sharply. 

“Don’t question me.” 

“Okay,” Jens says, snickering as he takes the bottles from Lucas’s hand and analyzing them in the light coming from the window. Lucas rests an elbow on his knee, putting his chin in the palm of his hand and watching Jens fondly, how his brows draw in as he looks, how he lifts them closer to his face, how he turns them in his hands to see how the colours shift. 

“I think I like this one,” Jens says softly, disrupting Lucas’s thoughts. He holds up a cylindrical bottle, the polish dark purple with subtle blue sparkles. Lucas smiles and holds his hand out for it and when he has it, Jens turns, leaning backwards, and places the rest of the bottles on Lucas’s bedside table, carefully standing them all up. Lucas smiles, watching. 

“Okay,” Jens says, huffing slightly as he sits straight again. He holds his hands out, palms down, and looks up at Lucas hesitantly. 

“Ready?” Lucas asks, hitting the bottle against the palm of his left hand. Jens watches curiously and nods, looking up and smiling softly.

“They’re going to be wet for a while; anything you want to get out of the way first?” he asks, looking at Jens with a knowing shine in his eye, and Jens grins, leaning across their crossed legs and grabbing Lucas’s face, sliding his fingers over his cheeks and jaw and neck until they’re buried in his hair. His teeth capture Lucas’s lower lip and Lucas smiles, closing his eyes and dropping the bottle (still closed) into his lap as he holds Jens’s wrists, leaning closer when Jens starts to pull away.

 He reaches up and presses his palms to Jens’s cheeks, feeling the lingering twinge of cold on his cheekbones and moves closer, feelings Jens’s breath against his slicked lips when Jens pulls back to gasp before leaning in again. 

Lucas’s legs uncross and he moves closer, his legs moving to either side of Jens, moving closer, closer, closer, until their chests are nearly pressing together. Jens’s hands move from his hair to his shoulders, pulling him in before he wraps his arms around Lucas’s neck. Lucas gently tugs at his hair, revelling in the small sound that escapes from Jens’s throat. 

They pull away with gasps, and Lucas leans in and presses their foreheads together, smiling. 

“I love you,” Jens whispers breathlessly, and Lucas bites his lip, closing his eyes again as he smiles and runs his hands through his hair. 

Jens says it every chance he gets now, every time they hang up, say goodbye. Every time Lucas texts him I have to go, I’ll text you later, Jens responds with something like okay I love you <3. Every time there’s a pause between their kisses or a moment of silence as they hold each other, the words are there, whispered in the air. 

And Lucas always says it back. 

“I love you too,” he says, pulling away and pressing a kiss to Jens’s forehead. He lets go of his hair and picks up the bottle again as Jens’s arms pull away from his neck. The chilled air from outside hits Lucas’s neck and he shivers slightly,  trying to pull the hood of his hoodie over his head with one hand. Jens smiles, reaching up and doing it for him. 

“Thank you,” Lucas says bashfully, opening the bottle of polish, and Jens holds his hand out, tucking the other in his lap. After carefully placing the bottle in his lap, Lucas takes his hand, gently stabilizing his fingers. “This might need two or three coats… Yeah,” Lucas says, stroking the brush against his nail, leaving a pale, translucent shade of purple in its wake. Jens leans forward, tilting his head to see around Lucas’s (he doesn’t realise how close he leans to focus), and smiles. 

When the polish is on properly, after Lucas has expertly wiped it off of the skin around Jens’s nails, Jens leaves his hands on Lucas’s thighs, trying not to move them. They’re not quite dry, just slightly tacky, and Lucas pulls his lips away from Jens’s every time they shift.