#someday i will follow the goose

[murgaliciousdefinition]

He is also responsible for one of my favorite comics of all time.

I wanted to buy this print but last I checked on his site it was sold out. Here's his shop though:

I laughed way too hard at this

[sugarcoated-lame]

Always A Bridesmaid | Jake Seresin x Reader

18+ only, minors DNI!

Jake Seresin x female Bradshaw!reader

read part two here

Synopsis: Bradley tells all the guys at his wedding that his little sister is off limits… But when has Jake ever listened to Rooster?

WC: 10.5k (she’s a long one folks)

Warnings: a teeny bit of angst, mentions of alcohol, drinking, smut, oral (m + f receiving), unprotected pinv, slight overstimulation, age gap (not really specified but reader is around 23-24 yrs old, jake is in his early 30s), jake being too damn charming for his own good, rooster being a very overprotective big brother, jake being a menace, and natasha being the best sister-in-law, for the sake of this story we’re gonna pretend that Goose died a few years later than what is canon to explain how Bradley has a sister that’s 10+ years younger than him lol

a/n: it’s been like two months since I initially started writing this, so I’m so happy to finally get it out! (:

⋆ . ˚ ✩ comments, reblogs and feedback are greatly appreciated! ⋆ . ˚ ✩

*

Today was a big day, and you wish you could say you were more excited about it. It’s not every day that your big brother gets married to the love of his life. Bradley “Rooster” Bradshaw and Natasha “Phoenix” Trace had finally said “I do” and you were ecstatic for your favorite female pilot to officially become a part of the family. 

But you were also recently single, having been broken up with by the boyfriend you’d been with throughout most of college and the following two years since you’d graduated.

Things hadn’t ended on bad terms, the two of you just weren’t in love anymore. What worked in college just wasn’t working anymore, and you’d spent the last few months of your relationship denying to yourself the fact that you were unhappy. 

You’re pretty sure now that the both of you had known for a while you weren’t right for each other, but you had been scared to end it–terrified at the notion of starting over. But, the relationship had run its course and, ultimately, he was the one to end things. 

That was three weeks ago. You’d come to terms with the break-up, knowing it was what’s best for you. But that didn’t mean it still didn't hurt. It didn’t mean you weren’t sad, or that you were ready to be subjected to all the happiness and celebration that goes into a wedding.

You’re granted a brief reprieve from your melancholy thoughts when your new sister-in-law sneaks up and taps you on the shoulder. “Hey… You don’t look like you’re having much fun. Are you okay?” 

Natasha asks the question with a sheepish grin. You can tell she’s trying to seem nonchalant, but you can hear the underlying concern in her voice. 

Bradley and Natasha had been together five years now, engaged for one, and you could clearly see from the way that he smiled at her and the permanent glimmer in his eyes, that your brother was truly happy. He and Phoenix had become fast friends during their time together at Top Gun, and it eventually evolved into something more.

When Bradley brought Natasha home to meet you at Thanksgiving during your sophomore year of college, you knew even then that she would be the girl he was one day going to marry. Best friends turned lovers. You could only dream you’d find that for yourself someday.

You and Natasha had quickly become close as well. Bradley and Uncle Mav were the only family you had and it was nice to have another person–especially a badass woman like Natasha, in your corner. 

The two of you got on like a house on fire, and Natasha was always there to give her love and support. She was like the big sister you never had, and it wasn’t long before the two of you were ganging up on your brother and teasing him together.

As Natasha’s maid of honor, you’d spent the morning with her and the other bridesmaids, helping the blushing bride get ready for her big day. In a fancy suite getting all dolled up while drinking mimosas, having your hair and makeup done before changing into matching bridesmaid dresses of a silky satin—cowl neckline and spaghetti straps, in a soft lavender shade. Helping Natasha into her beautiful, intricately lacy, white wedding gown.

The wedding ceremony was absolutely beautiful and had gone off without a hitch. Bradley had tears in his eyes as Natasha walked down the aisle to the Wedding March, matching smiles on their faces as they joined hands at the altar. 

You even shed a tear yourself as the couple exchanged their vows, and before you knew it, Bradley was pulling Natasha in for a loving kiss and they were declared husband and wife.

Then, onto the reception, you’d watched with a slightly sad smile as Bradley and Natasha shared their first dance as husband and wife. You were so happy for the two of them, truly, but it was hard to get into the headspace for celebrating. Seeing two of your favorite people so in love when you’d just been dumped. When your own love life was at a standstill and you were left feeling lost and lonely.

You’d been too preoccupied in your thoughts to notice the first dance had come to an end before Nat came to talk to you. You felt guilty at the fact that she was spending her time worrying about you when she should be enjoying her big day. You’re lucky to call Natasha your sister.

So, you force your most convincing smile onto your face and nod your head, telling her that you’re just fine.

“Just tired from the long day, but I’m having a great time. I’m good, I promise!” You weren’t sure if she believed you, but luckily Natasha was pulled away by one of her aunts gushing over how beautiful she looked and offering her congratulations, before she could protest.

It’s especially hard to enjoy a wedding reception when you’re sat at a table alone, watching as everyone else is having a good time, dancing along to the music being played by the DJ. 

Once the first dance was through, the rest of the guests were welcomed to join the happy couple on the dancefloor. You knew your brother had plenty of cute pilot friends, and you also knew–thanks to Natasha–that some of them were single. So, you were hoping that one of them might ask you to dance.

You may have also been hopeful for the possibility of getting laid tonight. You were newly single but even then, it’d been months since you and your ex last had sex. You were sad and lonely and thought, what better way to get back out there and help yourself feel better than hooking up with one of said cute pilots? 

Your plan, however, seemed futile because none of the guys would even talk to you. In fact, since Bradley had introduced you to them after the ceremony earlier in the day, his fellow pilots could hardly look you in the eye.

“Guys, this is my little sister.” With an arm wrapped around your shoulders, your brother had rattled off each of the naval aviators’ names and callsigns, and told his friends your name. They were all nice enough, each politely shaking your hand and making small talk, a few of them making jokes at your big brother’s expense.

But you could sense there was an awkwardness there, almost as if the members of the Dagger squad were afraid of you. You couldn’t understand why, but you could tell they were hesitant to keep the conversation going with you.

Initially, you brushed it off. However, as the day went on, whenever you’d find yourself alone in conversation with one of the Top Gun pilots, they each kept the interactions very short and sweet, acting as though they couldn’t get away from you fast enough. Leaving you feeling unsure of yourself and wondering what you could have possibly done to have them all so blatantly avoiding you. 

So, after sharing a dance with your dear Uncle Mav and relinquishing him back into the awaiting arms of Penny, you spend the next half hour moping at the table on your own. Absent-mindedly swirling the straw around in your drink, chin resting in your other hand as you watch the festivities going on around you. 

And that’s how Jake finds you.

You were adorable. With your sparkling eyes and your hair pinned up into some intricate up-do that Jake wanted to see undone, a few pieces flowing down and framing your face. The hint of cleavage Jake could see beneath the cowl neckline of that lavender dress that hugged your curves so well as you leaned forward against the table, a slight pout on your lips as you observed everyone having fun on the dancefloor.

Jake could tell that you weren’t having a good time and he knew exactly why. 

Little did you know that earlier that morning while Bradley and his groomsmen were getting ready in a suite separate from the girls, your brother had had a “talk” with all the guys.

Debriefing about last night’s rehearsal dinner, Hangman, Coyote, and Fanboy–all of the single groomsmen–had been discussing a few of Natasha’s bridesmaids that they thought were cute. Especially the maid of honor. 

Rooster’s ears had been ringing when he heard them describe you to a T, and Jake could practically see smoke coming out of them as he turned toward his friends, always the overprotective big brother ready to shut them down.

“The maid of honor,” all of the groomsmen turned to look at the mustached groom as he began to speak.

“Is my little sister. And she’s off limits.” At his words and the stern, serious tone of Bradley’s voice, Jake and the others collectively shut up, matching caught-out and shocked expressions on each of their faces.

“I mean it, guys, I don’t wanna see any of you hitting on her. I love you all like my brothers, but I’m not afraid to kick someone’s ass if I see you trying it on with my sister.”

The guys all knew that Rooster wasn’t bluffing. With rushed apologies and confirmations that they’d leave you alone, the tension left the room as they all laughed it off and went about their business getting ready for the ceremony. 

With Bradley’s warning in mind, the Dagger squad had spent the rest of the day being nice—but not too nice—whenever they spoke to you, and tried to keep their interactions with you to a minimum, so as not to face your older brother’s wrath.

They all knew that Bradley could be a bit hotheaded. Even Bob, who is very happily married, found himself a little afraid to spend too much time conversing with you.

Jake was ready to follow the rules too, it was Bradshaw’s wedding after all. He could hold off on pissing off his best frenemy for one night. At least that was the case, until the reception. 

When he saw you sitting all alone, all gorgeous and sulking, Jake knew right then that he had to go talk to you. He knew he was the only one stupid enough—or brave enough, if you ask him—to go against your brother’s wishes, and who was Jake if he wasn’t stirring the pot?

Was it so wrong for him to help a pretty lady have a good time? And you were beautiful, strikingly so, so Jake wouldn’t mind if he got a little something out of it too. 

Jake isn’t scared of your brother. Besides, Rooster is far too busy dancing with Phoenix, the newlywed couple far too preoccupied with making heart-eyes at each other to notice him making his way over to you.

Your eyes widen with intrigue as the tall, blonde pilot—Jake, or Hangman as he’d been introduced to you—sidles over to where you’re seated. 

God, was he handsome. You sit up a little straighter as he plonks himself down in the chair next to you, a devilish smirk on his lips as he turns toward you. 

“What is a pretty little thing like you doing sitting here all on her lonesome?” He inquires, a slight Southern drawl to his voice. Texan, maybe?

“Um… drinking?” Your answer is short, but you’re a bit caught off guard and still annoyed by the fact that all of your attempts at socializing tonight with anyone outside of the few members of your family and Phoenix, had failed. 

But now, here was Hangman, going out of his way to talk to you and looking you straight in your eyes. His green gaze intense and leaving you a bit flustered. 

Jake glances down to where you’re still toying with the straw in your near-empty glass. With that playful smirk still present on his face, he goes to speak again.

“Well, darlin’, I cannot in good conscience let you drink alone. What are you drinking and how ‘bout I buy you another one?” His question makes you scoff. 

“Tequila Sunrise, and it’s an open bar, so… no, you can’t buy me a drink.” You roll your eyes at the almost too handsome pilot. 

Oh. Pretty and feisty. Jake was going to have a hard time staying away from you.

“Well then, how about I acquire you another one, and because I’m such a nice guy, I’ll even join you?” Jake winks at you and stands, striding towards the bar before you could even answer his question. 

Your brother and Natasha had mentioned Hangman to you a handful times over the years, and he was just as cocky and self-assured as they always said. But, you’d be lying to yourself if you said you don’t find it kind of charming, or that you aren’t extremely attracted to him.

Jake returns a couple minutes later, a Tequila Sunrise in one hand and a glass of what looked to be whiskey in the other. He places your drink down in front of you and slides back into the chair next to yours, albeit a few inches closer this time.

“You know, you look pretty miserable over here. Though, I guess I would be too if I had to grow up with Rooster as my brother.” That draws a genuine laugh out of you.

“There she is!” His exclamation makes you giggle, a slight blush taking over your cheeks. Jake loves the sight of your smile. The sound of your laugh. He decides that he wants to hear that sound over and over again.

“He’s not so bad.” You refute through your laughter.

“I just don’t really know many people here, and I kind of get the feeling my brother and Nat’s friends don’t like me very much. I’m not sure why…” You trail off and look down at your lap, shy all of a sudden. Jake has to fight very hard to not smile at how adorable your furrowed brows and pouted lips are.

“You’re the first person here to actually talk to me for more than two seconds.” You let out a nervous laugh and start sipping your new drink.

Jake feels bad that your dumbass brother’s plan to keep the guys away from you is the reason you’re feeling so down, without you even knowing. And no matter how cute you may look, Jake doesn’t like seeing you sad. He’s going to rectify that.

“Well darlin’, now that I’m here, you don’t need to talk to anyone else.” Jake’s smile is still smug, but sincere, and you can’t help but grin back at him. You shake your head and giggle at the cocky pilot, thinking to yourself that it wouldn’t be so bad if he were the only person you had to talk to for the rest of the night.

“Now, how about we finish these drinks and then we head out onto the dancefloor?” To that, you agree, and the two of you sit sipping your drinks and talking for a little while. Getting better acquainted. Jake is fun and very charming, and you love how easily he’s able to make you laugh.

When Jake notices that you’re just about done with your tequila sunrise, he quickly shoots back the rest of his whiskey, ready to get you onto the dancefloor. He stands and you accept the hand he’s extended toward you, his large hand engulfing your smaller one and letting him lead you into the crowd of people. 

Standing in front of him now, you only just notice how good Jake looks in his suit. It’s a simple black suit, white undershirt and black tie, like all the groomsmen wore. But the way it fits his body, the way the jacket sleeves are ever-so-slightly too tight around his big arms, and the way you could tell he was extremely toned even under layers of clothing, made you dizzy.

As you make it onto the floor, Fleetwood Mac’s ‘Everywhere’ begins to play through the speakers. Jake pulls you in close to him by your joined hands and spins you around under his arm. The two of you laugh, both a little tipsy. 

You spend the duration of the song dancing together like children without a care in the world. Not much rhythm to it or any real dance moves, mostly just jumping around and singing along to the lyrics, Jake twirling you around a good number of times. You’re sure that the two of you look like idiots, but it’s the most fun you’ve had all night.

You dance together to a couple more upbeat songs, and Jake can’t help but admire you. He finds it incredibly sexy how carefree you seem in this moment.

As another classic rock song comes to an end and a slower song takes its place, Jake pulls you in again. This time by the waist, until you’re nearly chest-to-chest. The warmth of his hands setting your skin alight through the thin, satiny fabric of your bridesmaid’s dress. 

Your own hands slide up his biceps, coming to rest on his broad shoulders. You look up at him with those bright, beautiful eyes and a shy smile, and Jake finds himself entranced. 

God, he wants to kiss you.  

You rest your head on his chest as he begins to sway you softly along to the music. As if Jake can feel eyes burning into the side of his face, he turns the two of you slightly, only to find Rooster glaring at him as he stands across the dancefloor, slow dancing with Phoenix.

“What the fuck is he doing?” Bradley quietly asks, mostly to himself, but the question catches his wife’s attention. 

“What is who doing?” Natasha queries with a laugh as she turns to look at where Bradley’s hard gaze is pointed.

“Aw, maybe Bagman does have a heart.” Her lips form into an exaggerated pout as she watches Jake and you sway from side to side as he holds you in his arms, your head leaning on his chest. Bradley looks down at her with a bewildered look on his face.

“No, that is most definitely not AW, and no he doesn’t!” He grouches with a sigh. Natasha gives him a questioning glance, waiting expectantly for whatever the hell it is she’s missing right now.

“I told those idiots to stay away from her.” Bradley mutters dejectedly.

“What are you talking about, told who to stay away from who?” Natasha narrows her eyes at her husband.

“Jake and the rest of the squad. I overheard them talking about how hot they thought my sister was, and I told them to leave her alone.” Bradley whines.

Natasha stays silent for a few moments, processing this information and looking up at her husband with a stunned expression.

“Oh, honey…” She can’t help but laugh. Now she understands why you’d spent much of the evening sulking.

“What?!” Bradley practically shrieks. “She’s my baby sister, I just wanna protect her!”

At that, Natasha cracks a smile. She’s always admired how much Rooster loves his little sister and how, with your parents gone, he always felt it was his responsibility to take care of you. 

“Bradley, I love you, but you really are an idiot sometimes.” Natasha grins, shaking her head at her husband. The look he gives her is dumbfounded and one of slight offense.

“Babe, I get that you want to protect your sister, but she’s not a kid anymore. She’s an adult and you have to let her make her own choices and her own mistakes. Even if one of those mistakes is Bagman.” Natasha scrunches her nose playfully and Bradley gives her a deadpan look. 

“You know she’d be pissed if she found out that you did that.” Natasha smirks, thinking back on a few of the silly sibling spats that she’s had to mediate over the last few years since she’s been with Bradley—most of them due entirely to his overprotective tendencies and your desire to escape them. 

“Come on, Roo, you know I’m right.” Bradley rolls his eyes dramatically and sighs, wrapping his arms around his bride. 

“Yeah, you always are. Doesn’t mean I have to like it.” He places a kiss on her forehead, and murmurs against her skin. “But if he hurts her, I’ll kill him.” 

Bradley glares in Jake’s direction once again.

Jake can also feel the eyes of the other Top Gun pilots on the two of you. They’ve all just witnessed the interaction and look between him and Rooster, some looking on in amusement, others in fear for Jake's safety.

Jake has to bite back a laugh, leaning his head down on top of yours to hide the cheeky smile that plays on his lips. The two of you slow dance a little while longer, Jake’s hands rubbing gently up and down your sides and sending your stomach into a frenzy of butterflies.

Jake decides he’d like a moment alone with you, away from prying eyes. His hands leave your torso, moving to rest on your arms, giving them a light squeeze to gain your attention. The hazy, content look on your pretty face when you look up at him only strengthens his desire to be alone with you. Fuck, he wants you.

“Come with me?” Jake leans down to whisper into your ear, his warm breath sending a shiver down your spine. When he pulls back, you look up to see his emerald eyes boring into you, and you simply nod.

You aren’t sure where he’s taking you, but if he keeps looking at you like that, you’re pretty certain you’d follow him anywhere. He grabs your hand and spares a last glance at your still glaring brother, smirking as he leads you to the exit of the ballroom. 

Before you can make it past the threshold though, Jake comes to an abrupt stop and lets go of your hand.

“One second.” He quickly breathes out, leaving you standing by the door as he darts back over the bar.

You’re confused for a moment, but you can’t help but giggle to yourself as you watch him look around to make sure no one is watching before he reaches behind the bar, grabbing an unopened bottle of champagne. 

He sprints back over to you, once again taking your hand in his free one and speeding out into the hallway, pulling you along with him. You’re unable to keep from laughing, near breathless as you try to keep up with Jake’s long strides in your high heels.

When he finds a dark, empty room towards the back of the venue hall, Jake pulls you inside with him and closes the door. Before you know it, your back is pressed against it, hitting the hard wood with a thud as Jake crashes his lips against yours, kissing you breathless.

Catching your plush bottom lip between both of his, one of his hands finds your waist in the dark, the other still holding onto the neck of the champagne bottle. You kiss him back with just as much fervor, reaching a hand up into Jake’s blonde hair and tugging lightly, pulling a soft groan from him. 

The two of you move in sync, lips pressing together at an increasing speed and intensity until your lungs are burning from the lack of oxygen. Jake pulls back for some air and both of your chests are heaving, light pants escaping your lips as you stare at each other in the dark of the room.

When you look down and catch a glimpse of the bottle still in Jake’s grasp, you let out a breathless chuckle.

“You forgot the glasses.” 

He follows your gaze and laughs along with you, though it comes out as more of a pant.

“Shit, yeah. Maybe we can find some in here, if I can just find a light…” Jake trails off, his body leaving your personal space and pulling the warmth of him along with it. You’re left standing by the door, feeling cold and already missing his presence and his weight against you as he goes off in search of the lights. 

It’s a quick search, after about only 30 seconds, Jake finds a lamp on a table in the corner of the room. He switches it on, casting the room in a soft, dim golden light.

No longer bathed in darkness, you now see that the room you ended up in is another suite like the ones the bridal party had used to get ready that morning. A couple of fancy olive green velvet couches spread throughout the space, a few vanity mirrors along the far wall, a door leading to a bathroom at the back. 

You take a seat on one of the lavish couches and remove your heels, feet aching a bit after the long day. You pull your legs up onto the couch as Jake goes on the hunt for champagne glasses. After a brief and unsuccessful search, Jake joins you on the couch.

“No luck.” His playful pout makes you giggle as he plops down onto the cushion next to you. 

“Fuck it!” Jake exclaims as he turns the champagne bottle away from you to open it, a small gasp escaping your lips as he sends the cork flying somewhere across the room. 

He hands the bottle over to you with a grin.

“Ladies first.” And there’s that wink again. As you take a swig from the bottle, Jake pulls your feet up into his lap, and you nearly choke on the fizzy liquid in surprise when his fingers begin to massage your calves. Once the initial shock wears off, you can’t stop the contented sigh that escapes your lips at the feeling. 

When you’ve taken a few sips, you hand the bottle back over to Jake, fingers brushing as he takes it from your grasp. His eyes remain on your face as he takes a big swig of the champagne and you can feel a blush beginning to heat up your face. 

Setting the bottle down on the floor, Jake tugs your legs closer to him again, this time pulling until you’re nearly sitting in his lap and drawing a little yelp from you. Your face is inches away from his and in the dim lamplight you can see that his eyes are blown wide, mostly black with only a hint of that pretty green visible.

Jake reaches a hand toward the back of your neck, gently running his fingers between your shoulder blades and down your upper back, bare due to the low backing of your dress. Grazing your skin with a featherlight touch before curling his fingers around the nape of your neck and pulling you in to kiss him again. 

The taste of champagne is prevalent as Jake attaches his lips to yours. His other hand moves to your waist to help guide you fully onto his lap. Your own hands slide along his chest over the soft fabric of his suit jacket and up to his broad shoulders, fingers gripping lightly at the soft strands of hair at the nape of his neck. Your lips move softly against his, finding a rhythm and allowing yourself to get lost in it.

Jake’s hands squeeze at your waist, thumbs just barely grazing the underside of your breasts through your dress as he deepens the kiss. Pulling you impossibly closer as he nips at your bottom lip, eliciting a quiet whine from you. His tongue tracks along the seam of your lips and you’re quick to part them for him, allowing his tongue to work softly against yours.

You and Jake relish in the taste of one another mixed with the sweetness of the bubbly alcohol, your movements becoming more fervent. Your head grows dizzy as Jake groans into your mouth when your fingers gently tug at the hair at his nape.

Jake feels his cock twitch in his pants when he pulls away and sees your hazy expression, all hooded lids and kiss-swollen lips. He presses a trail of sweet kisses to your jaw and chin, working his way down to your neck. His nose grazes the column of your throat, inhaling the sweet, flowery scent of your perfume.

Your head tilts back on a quiet moan, granting Jake more access as his mouth begins to work at the side of your neck. Sucking and biting at the soft skin, teeth sure enough to leave a mark. With your hands still in his hair, you pull Jake back up to your lips, kissing him ardently as your hips involuntarily rut against the growing bulge in his trousers.

You both moan at the friction as Jake’s hand moves to cup your cheek, fingers tangling in your intricately styled hair. As his tongue glides against yours, you feel him begin to pull at the pins, loosening your hair from its confines until it flows freely around your shoulders. He pulls back from the kiss to look at you with a look that screams pure lust.

“Fuck, I’ve been wanting to do that all night.” Jake breathes as he runs a hand through your silky locks. Since he first laid eyes on you, he’d wondered how you’d look with your hair all messy and free, your perfect little up-do unraveled. And fuck, does he like what he sees.

With a newfound sense of need, you reattach your lips to Jake’s, sliding your tongue into his mouth as your hands begin to push the suit jacket off of his shoulders. He shrugs it the rest of the way off, letting out a whispered ‘fuck’ as your lips trail down his sharp jawline to his neck as your nimble fingers begin to work on untying his tie, and straight to unbuttoning his dress shirt after that.

When his upper half is free of clothes, you tease soft, barely-there kisses along Jake’s shoulders and the hard plains of his chest. Eager to touch more of your skin, Jake’s hands make their way down to your thighs, changing positions to pull you underneath him on the velvet couch, your legs wrapped around his hips. He sits up and runs an index finger lightly under the thin strap of your dress.

“Can I?” You nod fervently in response to his question and Jake gently pushes the straps off of your shoulders.

You sit up and Jake pecks your lips, his hands moving behind you to unzip the top of your dress. The soft satin falls down around your torso, revealing a strapless lacy bra that matches the pastel purple of your dress. His hands reach again behind your back, making quick work of unclasping your bra to reveal your perfect, supple breasts.

Jake takes a moment to admire the beautiful picture that’s in front of him before he leans down to kiss at your chest. His lips work softly at the swell of your breast, thumb and index finger coming to pinch at one nipple while his mouth engulfs the other. The moan it pulls from you is music to Jake’s ears.

Your fingers tangle in his hair once again as his tongue swirls your nipple, quiet whimpers escaping you as he kisses and suckles at the skin. His mouth travels to your other breast, leaving a trail of kisses along the way before sucking the bud between his lips, tongue working softly at it until it forms a hardened peak.

Satisfied with his work, Jake grazes his teeth against your nipple, evoking a breathy gasp from you and a tug on his hair as he nips at the sensitive bud before releasing it. You feel a gush of arousal at your core as his mouth starts to trail lower down your torso. Kissing softly at your sternum, your ribcage, and just above your navel.

Goosebumps form along your skin as Jake lowers himself down on the couch, strong hands gliding up the sides of your thighs. Pushing the silky fabric of your dress along with them until it’s bunched up at the middle of your torso, revealing pretty, sheer lace panties that you’re sure are probably soaked through.

Jake presses a kiss to your hip bone, looking up at you with wild eyes awaiting your permission. You swallow hard, nodding your head frantically. You need him to touch you before you go insane.

“Please, Jake,” You hardly recognize the breathless, whiny voice that comes out of your mouth. “Need you.”

Jake runs a finger along your slit over the damp fabric of your panties, your desperate, breathy cries painting a smirk on his lips. He doesn’t need to be told twice. 

He teasingly bumps his finger into your clit just to hear you whine before his fingers grip onto your waistband, pulling the lacy fabric torturously slow down your thighs. He sits back on his knees, pressing a kiss to your knee as he helps get your underwear the rest of the way down your legs.

When they fall to the floor, Jake repositions himself on the couch between your thighs, lifting one of them over his shoulder. His lips make a trail up the inside of your thigh, kissing and nipping at the soft skin and enjoying the way your breath catches as he inches closer to where you need him most, before ultimately moving back and starting again on the other thigh. Your fingers tug at his roots, chest breathless and heaving as you wait for Jake to just do something.

You moan out loudly in surprise as your wish is granted, Jake’s tongue licking a broad stripe through your folds. Your fingers tighten in his hair when he presses a kiss to your clit. He pulls back for a moment and just stares at your cunt, pretty and glistening just for him. 

You’d be embarrassed at the attention if it weren’t for the look of complete awe on his gorgeous face as he gazes at your core. His tongue glides through your folds again, collecting your arousal.

“Mm, so fuckin’ sweet, baby. Just like you.” And with that, Jake sucks your clit between his lips, drawing a loud cry from your lips as he applies a firm pressure. He alternates between suckling the sensitive bud and dipping his tongue into your hole, tasting the wetness that continues to flow at his ministrations.

As his lips wrap around your clit once more, you feel one of Jake’s fingers begin to tease at your entrance. Gathering the wetness there before the digit enters you, he lets out a low groan as you clench around it. He works his finger in and out, adding in a second to help stretch you out and get you ready for his cock.

Jake can hear your soft whimpers and heavy breathing, he can feel the way your walls clench around his fingers even tighter as he prods at that spongy spot inside of you and he knows that you’re close.

“Gonna come for me, Sweets? You gonna come all over my tongue?” Jake implores with a teasing smirk before he dives back in, tongue replacing his fingers and licking into you.

“Fuck, please, Ja- OHH!” Your plea is cut short as his fingers pinch at your clit once more. Rubbing tight circles in time with his tongue that’s fucking in and out your hole. Jake’s fingers quicken their pace, pressing firmly against your sensitive bud while he devours you, and you fall over the edge with a sharp cry that borders on being a scream.

“So fucking good for me.” Jake mutters against your center, his tongue lapping up your release while his fingers still gently swirl your clit and work you through your orgasm. He licks up every bit of your sweetness, rutting his hips against the velvety couch cushion to gain some friction on his still-clothed cock that strains under the fabric of his pants, as he watches you writhe under his tongue, hands tugging at his roots hard as your loud cries turn into soft whimpers.

Jake only lets up when your shaky hand tries to push his head away from your center, the pleasure becoming too much. Leaving one final kiss to your inner thigh, he pulls back, lips and chin glistening with your release.

You tug at Jake’s hair again, guiding his head back up to be level with yours. You pull him into a bruising kiss, moaning into his mouth as you taste yourself on his tongue. Your hands travel down to unbuckle Jake’s belt and open the button of his trousers, one hand dipping into the waistband to cup him over his boxers. 

Jake grunts above you as you palm at his hard length, his own hands reaching down to help you remove his pants.

Only able to get them about halfway down his legs from his position hovering over you, Jake pulls back and stands from the couch. He pulls his dress pants and underwear down in one swift motion. Your mouth waters at the sight of him, his cock long and hard, the tip red and dripping with precum.

Before he can return to his previous position kneeling above you, you too stand up, pushing Jake back onto the couch in a seated position.

“Wha- where ya goin’, darling?” Jake questions you with a breathless chuckle, a bit surprised by the moment of dominance from you. As you drop to your knees in front of him though, he starts to get the hint.

“Just wanna return the favor.” You say it sweetly, giving him your best doe eyes. Jake’s hand comes up to cup your cheek, caressing the skin softly and letting out a desperate groan as you position yourself between his thick thighs.

You trail your nails along the skin of his thighs, leaving light pink marks in your wake as you tease your way to the apex of his thighs. When you finally wrap your hand around him, you feel Jake’s cock twitch in your grasp and look up at him with a sweet smile. 

Minx. Jake swears he could cum right then and there.

Your hand rubs along the base of Jake’s cock and up to his tip, collecting the precum dribbling from his slit and dragging it down his length to aid in your movements. Your grip tightens around him just slightly, and you enjoy the desperate sound he makes as you lean down to place a kiss to his weeping tip.

Hand still cupping your cheek, Jake’s fingers move into your hair as you kitten lick at his tip before taking him into your mouth. Your tongue swirls around the ridge of his head, sucking softly and moving further down onto his length. You take as much of him into your mouth as you can, eagerly sucking his shaft and using your hand to rub what you can’t fit.

Your fingers move to grip one of Jake’s strong thighs as you take him as far down your throat as you possibly can, blinking up at him with wide doe eyes. Your cheeks suction around his length and Jake chokes on a loud moan, his fingers tightening in your hair when his tip hits the back of your throat.

“Fuck, fuck.” He gently pulls you off of him with a groan, a string of saliva still connecting your swollen pink lips to the head of his cock. Jake knew he was getting close and he didn’t want to finish before feeling your sweet cunt wrapped around him.

“Need to be inside you, darlin’.” Jake practically begs as he pulls you up to your feet. He finishes unzipping your dress that’s still hanging down around your middle the rest of the way, watching the fabric pool around your feet before guiding you to sit atop his thighs. Fully naked and secure in his lap, you wrap your arms around his neck and lead Jake into another fiery kiss.

“Need you, Jake.” You breathe against his lips, noses rubbing together as you nod your head against him. 

You grind your hips down against his in an effort to convey your need. Jake’s hand reaches down to grip his cock, running it along your soaked folds and bumping your clit with his tip, teasing you both as you moan against each other’s lips.

“Shit… I don’t have a condom.” Jake realizes, voice sounding defeated as he looks down and  watches the head of his cock tease at your clit once more.

“Fuck.” The word comes out of your mouth as a whine. 

Fuck was right. All that hoping and planning to get lucky tonight, and you hadn’t had the forethought to bring protection? Whoops.

Lucky for you, you’d been on the pill for a couple of years now, having started taking it when you were with your ex. You place a gentle kiss to Jake’s cheek before pulling back to look in his eyes as you speak.

“I’m on the pill. And I haven’t been with anyone in a while, so… I’m good.” You chuckle sheepishly, brows furrowing slightly as you wait for Jake’s response.

Jake nods his head eagerly. “Fuck-yeah, I’m all good too! If you’re sure…” he wants to be sure that you’re comfortable.

He can’t help but grin as you nod your head just as eagerly, but that grin is quickly wiped off Jake’s face.

Your brother can never find out about this… Rooster would actually kill him. It’s bad enough that he’s sleeping with Bradley’s little sister on his wedding day, let alone without protection.

It’s an afterthought that Jake realizes he must’ve accidentally spoken aloud, as the giggles that erupt from you in response to the words spoken under his breath hit his ears.

“Yes.” You plant a kiss on his jaw. “I’m sure, Jake.” Another kiss. “Need you.” Your lips move to peck his hungrily.

His thoughts are immediately pulled away from Rooster and Jake couldn’t be happier. Not only does he get to be inside of you, but he gets to feel you wrapped around him with no barrier in between. 

Your blatant need for him only inflates Jake’s ego, and makes him impossibly harder. His hand cups the side of your neck, pressing his lips firmly to yours one more time before leaning back to look at you with a smug smirk.

“Go ahead. Take it, baby.” Jake drawls as he leans back, arms stretched along the back of the couch, his words have you clenching around nothing.

At his request, you lift your hips slightly, taking Jake’s hard cock into your hand and lining it up with your entrance. He watches in awe as you sink down around his length slowly, the both of you hissing simultaneously. You at the stretch, and him the tightness of your walls enveloping him. 

Your hands hold onto Jake’s shoulders for support as you take him, inch by inch, until he’s fully seated inside of you. You both let out quiet curses at the feeling. You’re not sure you’ve ever felt so full, but your slickness makes for easy movement once you get used to the stretch.

You lift your hips until just the tip of his cock is still inside of you, before slowly sinking back down and grinding your hips against his.

“Fuck. Feel so good, darlin.” Jake groans as your muscles clench around him and you let out a quiet whimper in response.

You bury your face in the crook of Jake’s neck as you begin to ride him, moving up and down his length as your hips work to find a rhythm. Jake groans as you begin to pick up the pace, his hands moving to your hips to help guide your movements.

When you’ve found a good rhythm, Jake plants his feet firmly on the floor beneath him and begins to thrust up into you. Pulling your hips firmly against his with every thrust, hitting that spot inside of you that makes you cry out in ecstasy.

The soft whimpers you let out against the skin of his neck are driving Jake’s movements, the sweet, open-mouthed kisses littered against the column of his throat spurring him on. He grunts as your walls tighten around him in a vice-like grip on a particularly hard thrust. 

Jake can tell you’re getting tired as your thighs begin to tremble over his, hips stuttering and losing their tempo as you rise and sink yourself down on his cock.

His hands wrap around your thighs, lifting you off of him and you whine in protest at the loss of the fullness of him. With you still hovering over his lap, arms wrapped around his neck, Jake easily flips the two of you over, gently placing you so that you’re lying back on the velvety couch. He hovers over you, knees digging into the cushions and he leans down to attach his lips to yours as he lines up with your entrance again.

You moan into the kiss as Jake bottoms out inside of you, your velvety walls welcoming him in with ease. Jake lifts one of your thighs around his hips, your leg going to wrap around his back automatically as he plows into you, the head of his cock hitting that spot deep inside of you again and it has you seeing stars.

The room is filled with the sounds of heavy breathing, Jake’s soft grunts and your blissful cries mingling together. Skin slapping against skin as Jake drives into you, the sound of your growing wetness as his cock moves in and out at a rapid pace. Jake leans down to suck a nipple into his mouth as he fucks you, nipping lightly at the skin.

“Jake…fuck! Please…” You’re babbling almost incoherently, the fucked-out look on your face sending Jake into a frenzy.

“I’ve got you, honey. Want you to come for me.” He mumbles against the skin of your chest as he continues to fuck you, one hand gripping onto the top of the couch for support.

He can sense you’re getting close and he applies a firm thumb to your clit, the pressure willing another moan from deep within you. Your fingers lock onto the strands of his hair as his fingers begin to circle the sensitive bundle of nerves. 

Jake quickens the pace of his thrusts, and his hand moves to grab the leg that’s wrapped around his waist, instead pushing your knee up to your chest so he can plunge into you deeper. The new angle combined with the consistent pressure on your clit has you screaming out, and you pray that no one walks down the hall past this room right now because they’d definitely hear you.

The sensation of Jake’s thumb and forefinger harshly pinching your clit sends you over the edge, a loud, broken cry escaping your throat as he fucks you through it. His length continues to move in and out of you, hips never slowing their pace. The overstimulation leaves you a whimpering mess, nails clawing into Jake’s shoulder as he searches for his own high.

Jake is nearing his end too, the tightness of your walls constricting around his cock as you writhe and whimper underneath him makes his hips stutter as he slams into you. With a few more thrusts, he reaches his peak with a deep groan. His warm, sticky release coating your walls and you sigh blissfully at the feeling. Jake’s hips slow, not stopping fully until he’s spent, wanting to fill you up with every last drop of his cum.

Once he’s sure that you’ve milked him of every last bit, Jake pulls out of you gently and you whimper at the feeling. Missing the fullness of him already, a sigh escapes your lips as a mixture of his release and yours begins to dribble out between your thighs.

Jake moves to flip the two of you over so that you’re lying on top of him, your head resting upon his chest. You can feel his still-fast heartbeat against your ear, getting slower by the minute as he recovers from his high. 

Your own heart is racing too and your mind is hazy as you wind down, you’re not sure that anyone has ever fucked you so good. Jake’s arms wrap around you, one hand reaching up into your hair and gently massaging your scalp as the other softly rubs at the skin of your back.

The two of you lay there for a while, cuddling and quietly talking about everything and nothing. Sharing details about yourselves, wanting to get to know each other a little better. 

At some point, you pick up the bottle of champagne from the floor again, still resting on Jake’s chest as you pass it back and forth. Taking sips, both of you pleasantly buzzed—from both the alcohol and the orgasms—as you talk about your jobs, your families, anything and everything that comes to mind.

Eventually, the topic of discussion turns to the events of the day and the wedding, and Jake has you giggling as he makes some joke at your brother’s expense. 

Spending time with Jake is easy. You feel giddy, yet comfortable in his embrace and his cocky-but-charming personality hasn’t failed yet to make you smile.

“Maybe we should get married.” The sarcastic tone of Jake’s voice lets you know he’s obviously joking, but his words still have you lifting your head from his bare chest to look up at him, a bit bemused.

“It would make my entire life to see the look on Rooster’s face when he has to tell people that I’m his brother-in-law.” Jake continues, looking down at you with that signature smirk, the mischievous mirth in his eyes eliciting a giggle from you.

Even though he doesn’t know you very well yet, Jake can’t help but think it might actually be pretty nice to be married to someone like you. Sweet, funny, beautiful–and Jake finds he really enjoys spending time with you.

“Yeah, I’d pay good money to see that.” You agree, your body being gently bounced around with the movement of Jake’s chest beneath you as he joins you in your laughter.

“Ok, so I know it’s a little soon for marriage, but I would like to take you out.” For the first time since you met him earlier that day, Jake actually seems a bit… nervous? The smile on his face is a bashful one and you find it’s adorable. From the stories your brother had told about the cocky pilot, you never would’ve thought you’d find him so endearing.

“Like… in the murdering sense?” You try to alleviate his nerves with a bit of humor and Jake’s subsequent deadpan stare has you giggling again. You lean up to press a kiss to his jaw. He pretends to be annoyed by your antics, but you can tell he’s trying not to smile.

“On a date.” He drawls with a dramatic eye roll. You suck in a breath and plaster a pensive look on your face, pretending for a moment like you actually need to think about his offer. You exhale with an exaggerated sigh.

“Ok.” Your arms tighten around Jake’s torso and you press a kiss to his chest.

“Yeah?” Jake tries to keep his cool, but he has a hard time hiding the excitement in his voice. He knows you can probably feel the way his heart has sped up beneath your cheek that’s resting against his skin too.

“Yes. I’d love to go out with you.” You lift your head to gaze up at him once more, trying to bite back your grin. But Jake’s thumb reaches up to release your bottom lip from between your teeth, gently running over the tender skin as he gazes down at you with those glittering green eyes. Yeah, you could get used to that.

The two of you stay wrapped up together on the sofa a little while longer, still talking quietly so as to not disturb the peaceful atmosphere of the ambiently-lit suite. You’re still lying on Jake’s chest, your legs intertwined with his, lulled into a hazy state of comfort as one of his hands lightly runs through your hair, lazily twirling the locks around his finger. His other hand is softly tracing patterns onto the bare skin of your back.

You and Jake have been gone a long while now, and you know if you don’t return to the party soon, Bradley is going to come looking for you. Deciding you’d rather not have your brother find you in such a compromising position with one of his friends, you begrudgingly lift your head from Jake’s chest.

“We should probably head back out there.” You say with little enthusiasm. “My brother’s gonna think you kidnapped me and send out a search party.” 

You grumble, pouting as Jake’s hand lightly caresses over your hair. Cute. 

He laughs at your sour expression and hums in agreement, sitting up on the couch. The movement of his body taking you with him as you’re still wrapped around him.

Jake ponders if he should maybe tell you about Bradley warning all of the men at his wedding away from you—but ultimately decides against it as you seem so content, so at ease with him. He didn’t want to ruin your good mood or cause problems between you and your brother. And, he really likes you. He doesn’t want to fuck this up.

Maybe he’d tell you one day when Bradley is really pissing him off, he thinks to himself with a smirk.

Jake helps you to your feet before standing up himself and stepping back into his boxers. He tells you to wait a moment while he runs into the bathroom that’s at the back of the room. 

While you’re in the midst of securely clasping your bra back over your chest, Jake returns with a damp cloth, kneeling down to gently clean up his cum that’s now dried down the inside of your thighs, leaving a soft kiss to the skin of your hip. 

Once you’re all cleaned up, Jake helps you step into your lace underwear, bracing yourself with a hand on his shoulder for balance as your legs still feel a bit like Jell-O after the earth-shattering orgasms he had given you.

He stands to help you back into your bridesmaid’s dress, leaning down to place featherlight kisses to your shoulder blades as he closes up the zipper. Jake even helps smooth down your hair—surely a mess from your earlier activities and his hands running through it—leaving a chaste kiss to your lips before he moves to re-dress himself. This time forgoing his tie in favor of stuffing it into his pocket. 

With your heels strapped around your ankles once more, you let Jake lead you out of the suite. Your hand joined with his and your cheek resting against his shoulder as you navigate your way, side by side, back to the ballroom. 

When you reach the double doors, you tug at Jake’s hand to stop him before he can open them. The blonde’s cute, inquisitive look reminds you of a golden retriever puppy and it makes your heart flutter. You reach up to cup his cheeks, pulling him in for a brief, but passionate kiss.

“Sorry, I just really wanted to do that again.” You tell him with a nervous laugh and he lets out a satisfied groan.

“Don’t be sorry, sweetheart.” Jake pulls you back in and you can feel the smirk on his lips as he attaches them to yours. The two of you spend the next few minutes just standing there, making out outside of the entrance to the ballroom. 

Mouths moving languidly together, and you don’t hesitate to grant Jake’s tongue access when it runs along the seam of your lips. Tongues swirling lazily around one another trying to memorize the taste. When you finally pull back, your lips are swollen, and both you and Jake are beaming.

The reception is coming to an end, and you make it back into the slowly emptying ballroom just in time to see the happy newlyweds making their rounds about the room, accepting congratulations and thanking their guests for coming. 

As they come across you and Jake, Natasha is all smiles while Bradley’s expression drops into one of annoyance, his hazel-eyed glare directed at Jake. 

Never one to be intimidated by his best frenemy, Jake’s mouth forms into that distinctive smirk, extending the hand that wasn’t holding yours toward your brother.

“Congratulations, Rooster.” Jake speaks confidently. The two of them shake hands, not dissimilar to how they did after the success of the Uranium mission. Except this time, Bradley isn’t smiling.

By the happy look on your face and the fact that you’re not glaring at him—or trying to hit him—Bradley realizes that Jake must not have told you about his earlier warning to his groomsmen. Though he’s still annoyed with Jake for going against his wishes, he guesses that’s for the best. Maybe Natasha was right.

“Thanks, man.” Bradley’s face softens just barely. 

“But, just know, if you hurt my little sister, I won’t hesitate to shoot your plane out of the sky. We clear?” Your brother continues, still shaking Jake’s hand all the while. Natasha watches the whole exchange, trying not to laugh.

“Bradley-!” Eyes widening, you try to intercept but Jake stops you, giving your hand a light squeeze.

“No, no. It’s okay, Sweets.” You can hear the mirth in his voice when he says it, knowing he’s going to get a reaction out of Bradley.

“SWEETS?!” Your brother all but shrieks, ripping his hand away from Jake’s as if he’s been burned and Natasha is no longer able to hold back her laughter. The pouty glare he gives her in return ends up pulling a snicker out of you too. Jake chuckles haughtily and wraps an arm around your shoulders before addressing your brother again.

“I’m not gonna do anything to hurt her, Bradshaw. I promise. You have my word.” You smile sweetly up at Jake, delighted by his words. 

Your brother grumbles in agreement, recognizing the sincerity in his friend’s voice in that moment, before the two of them shake hands once more. Then, Jake offers the bride a hug and his congratulations, and tells you he’ll give you a moment with you brother, that he’ll be waiting for you by the exit.

With Jake making his exit, your brother’s face finally softens as he turns his attention to you. 

That is, until he glances down a bit and you know that he’s clocked the very obvious hickey blooming on the side of your neck when his expression hardens again. You can swear you see his eye twitch and you have to refrain from laughing. Luckily, for both of your sakes, he doesn’t bring it up.

Bradley just sighs before shaking his head. For the first time since the breakup, his little sister looks genuinely happy and if that’s the case, then he’s happy too.

“Hangman… really?” He scrunches his nose and at that, you simply shrug at him with an amused grin.

Your brother groans, “I don’t know what happened, and I don’t wanna know.”

“Deal.” The two of you share a laugh and Bradley pulls you into a tight bear-hug, which you return gratefully.

“Love you, sis.” He murmurs into the crown of your hair. “Love you too, Bradley.”

Natasha watches the sweet moment between her new husband and sister-in-law with a smile.

“I’m really happy for you, big bro. And so proud. Mom and Dad would be too.” Your arms tighten around him as you quietly deliver the sentiment.

You turn your gaze toward Natasha to let her know that you’re now addressing her as well. “Congratulations!”

When Bradley releases you from his embrace, Nat pulls you in for a hug as well. With that, they bid you goodnight and make your way back over to Jake who’s waiting for you by the ballroom doors.

Bradley opens his arm for his wife to step under, which Natasha does gladly, her own arm draping around Bradley’s waist as his moves to wrap around her shoulders. The couple watches on as you cross the room to reach the cockiest member of the Dagger squad.

“I actually think they’re kinda cute together.” Natasha’s tone is a jesting one, but there’s definitely some truth to her statement. Bradley just tilts his head up toward the ceiling, eyes clenched shut as he groans in response.

With the festivities coming to a close, you find yourself incredibly tired. After such a long day–and all the exertion with Jake that evening, you’re more than ready for a good night’s sleep. Fortunately for you, everyone was staying in the hotel at which the reception was held, so it wasn’t a long commute. 

Despite your increasing exhaustion though, you were reluctant to bid Jake goodnight.

“So… I guess, if you want, you could walk me to my room? Or…” You trail off, leaving the ball in his court. A tad nervous now, blinking up at him with a bright-eyed, hopeful expression, unsure if Jake will get the hint. 

But he definitely does, and the expectant look on your beautiful face makes him smile. What you don’t know is that Jake isn’t quite ready for his time with you tonight to come to an end either.

“Or… you could come back to mine?” He finishes the sentence for you, his grin morphing into more of a smirk, but his tone remains sincere. Placing your hands on his chest, you lean up to peck Jake’s lips.

“I’d love to.” You speak softly against his lips and Jake can feel you smiling. “Just don’t tell my brother.”

Your cheeky remark has Jake letting out a throaty chuckle, his breath warming your cheek before he briefly presses his lips to yours more firmly.

“How else am I gonna piss him off?” Jake jests and you retreat from the kiss, playfully smacking his chest. Shaking your head as the two of you share another laugh. His hands move to slide up the bare skin of your arms as you pull back and Jake can feel the goosebumps forming there.

He removes his suit jacket, leaving him in just his dress shirt, and carefully drapes it over your shoulders. The coat dwarfs your smaller frame, and Jake decides he loves the way you look all wrapped up in his clothes.

“Come on, Sweets. Let’s get you to bed.” Jake softly drawls. The look you give him is one of pure adoration as he takes your hand in his and leads you out into the halls of the hotel.

And though you’re most definitely tired, you have an inkling you’d be more than okay with spending a couple more hours wide awake with Jake when you get up to his room.

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Thank you for reading! x

Part two

Taglist: @sebsxphia @wkndwlff @chaoticassidy @dempy @ohgodnotagainn @shanimallina87

also tagging a few others who reblogged the sneak peek of this story:

@sunlightmurdock @rosiahills22 @gigisimsonmars @wildxwidow @sarkasfics @roosters-girl <3

[accio-victuuri]

July CPNs round-up ❤️💛💚

• xz as backing vocals for the song everything is lovely

• clowning about screen protectors

• both of their names together on hs for being posted by xinhua news agency

• same city in Beijing on 7/6 - there was some talk that xz’s flight out has been changed to the 12th, probably to spend more time with wyb who will leave on the 10th. which didn’t happen cause wyb left 7/8 but still got to to spend that time together. some were clowning about how his airport shirt had a crease on it & how that made it seem like it was folded like how xz does it so ya know, is it a sign? lol.

• 7/10 XZS paris vlog clowning: posting so close to yibo’s appearances and similar shots // the two bros focused in the video, paris olympics and torchbearer route.

• 7/12 XZS vlog - possibly texting wyb and little prince figures + snowy mountain ; jacques tati films bgm used

• 7/14 xzs vlog clues! more symbolism and that goose laugh

• walking in the streets of paris

• similarity between tao and yibo showing off a photo of their significant other

• continuing on with the off white with “painting” shirts that xz wears, which is already strike 3 && kind of proves the sdc 3 clowning. he wore this during his off work hours. ⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️

it follows the pattern 👀👀👀

• 7/15 xzs vlog clowning continues - same place different time / confirmation of the bystander lyrics connection and E142 cue

• NOT TOTALLY CPN BUT ME BEING EMOTIONAL. LOL. SEEING YIBO do that torch really in that simple outfit everyone was wearing. mostly bare faced and all eyes on him. that moment — and then you see him wearing that bome necklace makes me go somft. 🥹🥹🥹🥹 he will go to so many places and experience a lot of things but he will always have a piece of xz with him.

some are getting excited about them with silver jewelry necklace but xz’s is boucheron which he is endorsing. as much as i love jewelry cpns, i always get picky when it’s something they endorse, unless there is an additional clue. but i understand why people got 👀 when they saw that silver chain with GG. unfortunately, this is not the necklace we think it is.

another one is this “couple” / same style jacket they both wore when they went abroad. RBS already explained this and i totally agree with their stand on it. i guess what makes this cpn-y to me is the “style” it, showing how their preferences overlap in clothing. and that’s why we think they have a “shared closet”.

<< previous post

• On 7/19, the booting ceremony of XZ’s new film DeXian JinZhi, the cast was revealed and we learned that Yin Zheng is there. Yin Zheng is WYB’s very close friend, so we will definitely keep an eye out on how he will interact with XZ 😂😂😂😂 and oh, Peng Yucheng is also there! who is Bobo’s friend and someone he fake kissed HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! so many common friends!

• some minor cpns from xzs 7/20 vlog + something i forgot to add, same acne studios plain shirt. HAHAHAHAHA! twinning! 👯‍♀️

• xz vlogs appear to be countdowns 🤔🤔🤔

• BJYX related hs on them speaking goose language! HAHAHAHAHA! we shall remain relevant forever!

• what a nice magazine! our boys! side by side! and it’s like a fanfic cover for pairing wei ruolai and chunsheng!

• them posting for public welfare and in support of the olympics for CCTV ( here and here ) also with mengniu’s short film. i love seeing them supporting the same thing and hopefully they get to collab someday for a common cause 🌎 if there is any type of project they can work together, this may be it, cause fans can’t even be outwardly toxic especially if it’s a government project.

• 7/26/2024 xzs vlog candies

• 7/28 coco crush posts clowning

• 7/29 throwback video uploaded by rufeng

• 7/30 XZS vlog clowning time: dancing like wang laoshi, possible mv for bystander and wonderful world lyrics.

plus some more ⬇️⬇️⬇️

ohhhhh. a snowy mountain or is it? i mean who wouldn’t be taken by that and especially someone like xz. love how he took pictures of it and drew it too. in the post by xzs it’s in the c-position, probably cause it’s drawn by xz but also it’s photo #5/18 WYB.

p3 is also our colors! green (ish), red and yellow!

SEE YOU ALL NEXT MONTH!!!!!

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[willel]

Castle Byers

Firstly I want to start off by saying how absolutely perfect this song is for the moment. It starts off so melancholic and hopeful. But as the song progresses, despite that hopeful happy feeling, something sinister and off putting is building under it until it overtakes everything.

It so perfectly suits Will and El's situation the moment she finds him. I imagine she was so relieved and happy to see him alive, but as the connection dims and breaks, leaving her alone, it must've felt awful.

In my brief previous post, I stated how not just the scene itself but all the context surrounding it makes this part of the The Bathtub so.......... perfect. So precious. It really shows the bond of the Byers family and El (and Hopper's) potential place it in before it was even on the table.

Originally, I was going to say it starts with Joyce and El's conversation but no, I think it really starts with Hopper and Jonathan.

First of all, the blooper for this scene is absolutely hilarious. But on a more serious note, I feel as though this is the first time Jonathan has ever even slightly trusted an adult man to keep his word.

"You have to trust me on this, alright?" I'm not sure if he really allows himself to trust here but he does take a step back and doesn't run off on his own again. Not until Nancy decides to follow through with the plan to hunt to Demogorgon. But when you really think about it, he still trusted Hopper (and Joyce) to find and rescue Will while he and Nancy dealt with the monster that would try to hurt them.

I think back to Lonnie planting seeds of distrust over Hopper being the chief. Or even how Jonathan ignored Hopper at the beginning of the season and went to Lonnie's house to search for Will himself.

The change is in no way dramatic or intense, but changes with Jonathan rarely are. This little moment of "... Alright I'll trust you." without actually saying the words and even the still doubtful expression makes me hope for more Hopper and Jonathan scenes in the upcoming season.

Then we have this moment. You must remember, Joyce and Hopper just went on a wild goose chase researching the lab and ended up discovering El existed. Not only that, they met her family. They met her mother that spend more than a decade looking for her and trying to save her.

I feel after Season 1, they don't focus much on just how similar Joyce and Terry are. If Joyce were in Terry's situation, I think she would've also busted into Hawkins Lab with a gun to get Will or Jonathan out. Joyce doesn't know about the details of that of course, but I still think Joyce saw a lot of herself in Terry.

It was this scene that really opened by eyes to El becoming a Byers someday. This is their first time meeting and yet Joyce knows exactly what to say. Exactly how to comfort her. Exactly how to give her confidence and thank her for all her hard work.

You can see how much El struggles to understand Joyce's kindness and warmth. Whenever Papa "asked" her to do something, it obviously wasn't a request, but an order. When she faced something scary or experienced something painful, Papa was really there to give her comfort, he was there to make sure she could keep going.

I wonder if El trusted Joyce to her word and be there for her when things to too scary or difficult, or was it empty promises like before?

And then like a proper mom and dad of a supernatural child, they help her into the bath. It's just kinda cute.

Of course, can't forget to mention when she finds Barb dead and starts freaking out, Joyce is there as she promised. I noticed though Hopper was trying to hold her hand too while she was flailing, she grabbed onto Joyce instead. earfrawed

The void is such a lonely place usually, I wonder if this is the first time she's ever heard someone on the outside calling out to tell her it's ok and she's not really alone. Maybe I'm getting too deep in my feelings but I can't help but wonder.

There's this tiny Joye and Jonathan moment when El announces her new location (sorry about Barb, Nancy). Castle Byers. Castle Byers on the rightside up was one of the first places Joyce and Jonathan looked when they were searching for Will on their own. They weren't wrong to check there. Makes total sense even in another world he'd be there yeah?

And then...before Castle Byers plays, there's nothing but quite droning and her wet footsteps as she gets closer.

And then she says his name so softly and the music starts ahhhh. It's so sad but so so precious??? This is where my theory brain started going ".... Oh. This moment is something more." I've been a delusional Hopper-Byers family fanatic since then! :D

This specific frame lives rent free in my brain. How does it touch my heart so? To see this poor lost girl trying to help this poor lost boy and then the fact that they later become family??? It's just all too perfect. Do you understand my feelings???

Anyway, what partially spurred me to write this post is reexamining the one thing Will said during this scene and his mental state during this conversation.

Firstly, it's unclear if he's even awake or if he remembers this moment. In the show, Will hasn't really said one way or another if he remembers this or not. Even in the comics, when this happens, it's presented like Will is hallucinating something from his d&d stories.

It's been how many years since this happened in the show? Yet it doesn't seem like Will has told anyone about his experience in the Upside Down whatsoever.

When the Hawkins crew in S4 got trapped in the Upside Down, they had to figure out the lights and hearing people on the other side all by themselves because clearly Will hasn't told any of them. Not even Nancy knew and I feel like Jonathan would've informed her of anything Will said regarding Upside Down stuff at least, right? She was so traumatized by the place and though her stint there was brief prior to S4... I dunno. I feel like if Will told them stuff, Nancy would know the stuff.

Back to the actual scene, what had me pondering things was Will saying "Hurry."

I mean, look at him. He's clearly unwell and I'm sure he'd love to go home right now so saying "Hurry" is not weird or anything. But it had me thinking, "Did Will know or suspect something was going to happen to him very soon or that he was "running out of time""?

I know that's a stretch, but it just stuck out to me all of the sudden. Immediately after this, he is captured by the demogorgon or something else.

We have NO idea what really happened over there. We have no idea how much Will remembers.

I can' really call this a theory, just speculation that there is something more here than meets the eye. But, let's get back to the family feels.

I love this little moment of Hopper hearing Will's voice and looking so determined. Season 1 Hopper best Hopper (I like S2 Hopper too though). The drive the becomes stronger and stronger to save the child of his former/new best friend/crush/lover/whatever the hell they were Joyce is.... he's a good guy.

Jonathan just watching Joyce reassure Will that they're coming over and over. I wonder what he's really feeling in this moment. I mean, he's probably feeling just as determined as Hopper and Joyce. But seeing stuff like this makes me wonder what he thinks of El.

Is he amazed? Is he afraid? Thankful? I just wish we got more of his feelings about it all.

I'm so sad we didn't get more sprinkles of Jonathan and El content over the years. S3 and S4 gave us a wee bit but still not enough.

There's this itty bitty detail that is completely irrelevant but for most of this scene, Will is not holding El's hand back. But at some point, he does hold her hand back but starts to let go at the end of the scene. gseranodwe

It's hard to see when it's not in action, but I'm much to lazy to make a full gif right now.

There's two moments when she panics like this. It's during this scene and when she loses contact with her mother in season 2. I've always wondered why she has such a strong panic when losing connection like that, especially with her mom in S2.

I can sort of understand here because Will is in a precarious situation but her mom definitely wasn't. Was her reaction to her mom disappearing PTSD from Will disappearing? Or is it when she uses her powers in this way, it's disorienting or painful when it ends abruptly?

AHHHH. I love this so so much. Joyce just holding her and reassuring her and giving her kisses on the forehead and everything. God, they are so freaking precious oh my god.

"You did so good." I cannot even a believe this woman has so much love to give.

Anyway. That's my rant of the day about the excellent amazing and beautiful Castle Byers scene accompanied with music.

Bonus: Lucas making sure El is warm, he's the best.

[laxmiree]

[CN] MLQC Lucien's Through Thousands of Mirrors event translation (Day 2 - Friday)

⚠️ SPOILER ALERT ⚠️

This post contains a HEAVY SPOILER for the event that has not been released in EN yet! Feel free to notify me if there are any mistakes in the translation~

Through Thousands of Mirrors Event | Day 1 | Day 2 (You're here!) | Day 3 | Day 4 | Day 5 | Day 6 | Day 7 | HS/Uni SSR Story: Monochrome Scenery

-

[PREVIEW]

Everyone's school life is different. Some people wake up early to go to the library to research and study in advance, while others get up early to row on the Charles River for practice.

Lucien stops and watches the students training for a while until a woken goose begins to quack, flaps its wings in discontent, and fixes its deep, dark eyes on him.

I'm just passing by...

Lucien thought. He carefully and slowly backs away, leaving the dangerous place*.

-

[T/N: "是非之地" (shìfēi zhī dì) is a Chinese phrase that literally translated to "a place of right and wrong". it more or less mean a place where one is apt to get into trouble; in this case a place where there's a goose about to chase you at the slightest provocation😂. Funny how he now gets along well with another goose in current farming event LOL]

Also the fact that Lucien's campus is near Charles River basically confirms that his campus is definitely MIT; just get parodied to avoid copyright issues (in case if PG want to make merch of it).

-

[NEUROSCIENCE]

After class, Dr. Lawson stays for a while to chat with Lucien. It's unusual for Dr. Lawson to do so.

"Doctor, what's the matter?

"Did you already know the content we discussed today?"

"Yes, but I'm still very happy to hear it again."

-

[COGNITIVE NEUROSCIENCE]

When every piece of data is where it should be, within the expected range, and operates as it should, one should rightfully obtain the expected results, shouldn't they?

The irrefutable fact gives its answer with a smile: Nope!

-

[BIOMEDICAL SCIENCE]

Today, this class has a special guest lecturer. In order to help students gain a deeper understanding of the subject matter and the broader applications of biomedical science, the professor has invited his working forensic scientist friend.

Pretty cool.

Wait, isn't this professor's network a bit too extensive?

-

[FREE TIME]

No one dislikes Fridays.

Especially a Friday when everything at hand has been taken care of and you earned some free time.

In a few hours, there will be other things to do, and the weekend should also be used to prepare for the upcoming week.

But at least for now, Lucien feels he deserves to enjoy the warm afternoon sunlight and the comfortable hammock.

-

[LAB]

Lucien frowns as he looks at the chart, "Let me run it again."

After a brief moment of consideration, Professor Lawson gives a suggestion, saying, "Hmm... No need. Let Elliot run it instead."

Despite his doubts, Lucien still went ahead and followed the advice.

Not long after, he gets a beautiful chart.

"Did I make an error in my operation?"

Colt, who was passing by, glances and says, "Elliot is lucky. If there are any tricky problems, letting him give it a try might just solve them."

Lucien looks at the chart in his hand again and feels that, someday when recruiting people for his laboratory, he should perhaps consider luck as one of the factors.

-

[Tidbits: And he did 🥹 In the future, he will hire a scientist named Luo Ke, with one factor being the rumor that Luo Ke brings good luck to lab experiments [Lab Koi call] 🤣 It's cute that this not-so-scientific behavior can be traced back to this particular past event]

-

[LAB]

In the laboratory, many problems can be answered by Caroline.

"Caroline, did I use the reagents incorrectly?" Elliot asks in confusion.

"Caroline, do you have time to create a presentation poster for the project?" Dr. Lawson proudly asks, confident in Caroline's abilities.

"Caroline— the photocopier has stopped working," Colt wails in despair.

In the midst of the recurring "Caroline to the rescue"; only Lucien remains silent.

For the sake of easy record-keeping and review, he chooses to send an email.

-

[MEETING]

Lucien's report this week also receives extremely high praise from Professor Lawson.

"But then again, Lucien,"

"After you joined our laboratory, the electricity bill went up a bit, supposedly because of overnight power usage and keeping the lights on."

Lucien smiles quietly and then looks away.

[superfluffychickens]

WELL I HOPE YOU ARE PLEASED WITH YOURSELF.

Your chick pix awoke my Chicken Math and I just added 4 Green Queen olive eggers to my upcoming 16 chick order. I got them for my broody brahma to raise. She has been sitting on her nest so diligently for two weeks and she deserves some babies for her hard work 🥰 itll be my first time letting one of my girls be a mommy.

You also inspired me to make a chicken/goose/garden centric sideblog 🥰

Oh dear, seems I’m an accessory to a crime! (/j)

But seriously, that sounds fun! Having a broody hen to raise chicks sounds like it would take the stress off of you - idk about everyone else but I always get nervous when I have to leave my chicks alone for a while in the brooder, and overnight. Maybe I’m just paranoid like that. But having a mama hen to keep an eye on them, and to teach them chickeny things, sounds like a big help. Maybe I’ll do that someday too! Let me know how it goes?

Also, I think you tagged me in a post with a video of a sweet little cockerel who was following you around? I saw the video, it was adorable, but the notification got buried under the notes from my chick/hatching posts so I can’t go back and find it to reblog like I meant to, so sorry about that!

[geddy-leesbian]

hey look it's all my Serrennedy fic (note that I did not come up with tags for the AU's until making this post, meaning I have to go back to retroactively tag the posts I've made, which is going to take a while because tumblr's search is hot garbage.)

and also due to tumblr's search being garbage, searching my blog for my tags won't give you shit, but if you click to search all of tumblr instead, every post will show up. idk man, that's just how it is.

RE2 AU

started as a one-shot and then spiraled into a whole RE2 AU. the only thing I've written where things pretty much go right for them 💖 Leon isn't a government agent, Luis is a stay at home dad, and Claire and Luis lovingly bully Leon together.

tag: 𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝑦𝑜𝑢'𝑟𝑒 𝑝𝑎𝑟𝑡 𝑜𝑓 𝑚𝑦 𝑙𝑖𝑓𝑒. 𝐼 𝑐𝑎𝑛'𝑡 𝑏𝑒𝑙𝑖𝑒𝑣𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑖𝑠 𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒆.

How Do You Talk To Girls? (2/3 chapters posted)

❝Don Juan, eh? Always thought of myself as more of a Don Quixote, but if the shoe fits… How about we try some practice anyway? I can talk to you like I'd talk to a girl, give you a first-hand demonstration.❞ OR Leon tries to learn how to pick up women from Luis, and instead has a bisexual awakening and picks up Luis. Task Failed Successfully.

“𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑮𝒂𝒏𝒈 𝑪𝒐𝒎𝒎𝒊𝒕𝒔 𝑰𝒎𝒎𝒊𝒈𝒓𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏 𝑭𝒓𝒂𝒖𝒅” (unpublished WIP)

Claire and Luis are getting married.

Something A Little More Plain

Not in the same continuity as the other two fics, but it is an RE2 AU, so I'm putting it here. Just really soft Luis being a dad to twins content. The only thing I've written about them that is just fluff and no angst.

❘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘🖤⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘❘

Signals // Childhood Friend AU

playlist

tag: 【𝗍𝗂𝗆𝖾 𝗐𝗂𝗅𝗅 𝖽𝗈 𝗂𝗍𝗌 𝗁𝖾𝖺𝗅𝗂𝗇𝗀. 𝙮𝙤𝙪'𝙫𝙚 𝙜𝙤𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙡𝙚𝙩 𝙞𝙩 𝙜𝙤.】

𝑇𝘩𝜀 𝛥𝜋𝛼𝑙𝜎𝑔 𝐾𝜄𝜕 (1988)

you move me, you move me. with your buildings and your eyes, autumn woods and winter skies. you call me, you call me.

»»————-💙————-««

somewhere out of a memory, of lighted streets on quiet nights… (1988)

»»————-💙————-««

ΠⴹⰞ Ⱎ⎕ᒥᒪᗪ ᎷᗅΠ (1988-2004)

he's old enough to know what’s right, but young enough not to choose it.

»»————-💙————-««

Digital Man // Open Secrets (2004) (1/? chapters posted)

Well I guess we all have these feelings we can’t leave unreconciled. Some of them burned on our ceilings, some of them learned as a child.

The things that we’re concealing will never let us grow. Time will do its healing, you’ve got to let it go.

❘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘🖤⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘❘

BU2B (aka Leon Fucking Dies)

(2/3 chapters posted)

❝That Agent Kennedy is proving to be quite a thorn in my side, much like you. I need him to live long enough for him to appreciate his gift and go home and begin to spread it to the rest of the world, but he's starting to cause a little too much trouble. But still, it would be a shame to have to kill him. Such a 𝘸𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘦 it would be. If only there was some distraction to keep him occupied and out of trouble… You 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 him, don't you?❞ ❝This isn't about him. Say whatever you want about 𝘮𝘦, but keep 𝘩𝘪𝘴 name out of your mouth.❞ ❝But you'll want to hear this: He's quite fond of you too. He doesn't want to admit it, but I've been in his head. He likes it when you tease him. He 𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘴𝘵𝘴 you. You could send him on wild goose chases over and over, and he'd just keep following you, until time ran out.❞

❘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘🖤⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘❘

𝐌𝐲 𝐏𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐒𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐇𝐨𝐧𝐨𝐫 (𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒂 𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒆𝒍𝒅 𝒐𝒇 𝒓𝒖𝒔𝒕𝒚 𝒘𝒊𝒓𝒆)

My very first Serrennedy fic,,, someday there will be a second chapter, but I have zero idea of when because I've been fighting demons tbh (by demons I mean various rough drafts because I can't figure out what the fuck to do with it. The ideas are there,,,,, but the execution is not 🫠)

Luis thinks he's a shitty person. Leon disagrees.

❘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘🖤⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘❘

Other random stuff kicking around in my drafts (and feel free to ask about any of these because I love talking about them):

AU where Luis sabotages the Nemesis Project, gets caught, and sent to Rockfort Island.

Alfred Ashford notices that Luis was a child prodigy and thinks that's neat because he's a weirdo and Alexia was a child prodigy. So instead of being executed, Luis is forced to be his friend until Alexia wakes up from her cryo stasis thing. (And being his friend is not a good time, because he's a weirdo and threatens to get his sniper rifle and hunt down Luis for sport a lot.) Luis gets out when Claire does, and goes back to Valdelobos after to hide from Umbrella, meaning RE4 will still happen, although slightly different. Luis is much colder and very hesitant to help Leon, because trying to do the right thing previously got him sent to a concentration camp.

❘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘🖤⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘❘

DON'T WALK AWAY

Songfic. While Leon and Ashley are waiting on a helicopter to come pick them up post-RE4, Luis tries to quietly slip away, because he thinks he's a shitty person who doesn't deserve to have Leon. Leon notices him trying to leave and says fuck that and argues with him, insisting that he will come with Leon.

❘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘🖤⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘❘

Don't have a title yet, but a little thing where Leon gets a call from Chris right after he gets back from Spain. Chris says the BSAA has been conducting their own investigation into what happened, and they found someone ex-Umbrella they had been trying to track down for years severely injured, but alive while searching the place, who claims to know Leon and that Leon would vouch that he's a good person now.

[anabdaniels]

Flufftober 2023 with Agent Whiskey- Day 15- Massaging

Paring: Agent Whiskey x Gender Neutral Reader

Word counting: 410

Rating: General audiences

Warning: Mentions of Jack being a caring old brother (too adorable to not be warned)

Part 2: Flufftober Day 24.

Your backache would end up killing you someday.

Or at least, that was the thought running through your mind on that afternoon. When you fell asleep the night before, your lower back was better than ever, and when you woke up the next morning, you simply couldn't walk without looking like a goose or whining every single time you had to sit down. As always, painkillers weren't enough to leave you pain-free, but at least they could make you less miserable.

Seeing your deplorable state, of course, Jack volunteered to be your private nurse, carrying everything you needed or wanted to the bedroom, providing you with heating pads, and, not less important, putting his hands to work on your favor, massaging your sore back.

Comprehensive as only Jack Daniels could be, he patiently followed your coordinates until his hands were in the right place of your lower back, then started to massage the region the softest possible to relax your muscles without causing you any additional pain.

"I'm afraid to know the answer, but how the hell did you learn how to do this so well?" You asked with your eyes closed, relaxed with his warm touch.

"My little sister, of course." Jack answered with a soft smile, still paying attention to what he was doing "Julia was a baby that suffered with a lot of tummy aches. Thanks to my spoiling services, she would rather come with me than stay with Mom and Dad when she was sick, so I've spent a lot of nights massaging her sore stomach." You smiled while listening to him, always enchanted with how protective he was towards his sister.

"Remind me of thank Julia for that, 'cause you're working better than pain relief spray for my backache." You said in a low voice, for the first time on that day not feeling about to cry due to your lower back pain.

"Of course I am, besides the talent, I have charm. There's no way you'll not feel better." You laughed and opened your eyes to look at him.

"Why can't you just stay silent sometimes?"

"I'm being more dedicated than a cat making biscuits here and that's how you thank me?" He raised one eyebrow, trying to remain serious.

"Fine, fine. If you still massaging my back, you can make a monologue if you want to." You closed your eyes again, smiling openly.

"Good thing you said that, 'cause I was precisely planning one."

Flufftober masterlist

[brushstrokesapocalyptic]

Hi there! Would it be alright to ask about what your plans for the bnha magical girl were? No need to answer this if you still plan on going back to it ofc, but its been a few years since it updated and I know you mentioned in the past you had the general gist of it planned out, so I'm curious about where it would've gone from where you left off. Thank you for writing it btw, its still one of my favorite bnha fics to read :D

Mmmmmmmmm yeah at this point I don't think I'm ever going back to it. It's unfortunate, because I had some pretty extensive notes and a whole ~twist~ planned, and I figured my attention would circle back to BNHA someday, but it just never happened! So sure, I can give a loose summary of what I had planned.

I will say before I get into it that, like some other stories I've started in the past, it fell into a trap that I like to call "Canon But A Bit To The Left" which, as the name suggests, is a fanfic that's basically the exact same story as canon just with some superficial details changed. That's a big part of why I lost momentum, once I reached the part of the series that would've just been retelling canon events but with magical girls— I tried to get creative with it, but nothing fundamentally changed, so it wasn't all that much fun. As such, I'll primarily be focusing on what's actually different/The Twist, because that's what's fun to explain.

So! The twist is that Izuku has a quirk. It's the ability to grant Magical Girl Transformation Objects. He does not know he has this quirk, he's doing it completely subconsciously.

His own Transformation Pen manifested out of nowhere when he was like 4 years old, and it sat in a drawer somewhere until he rediscovered it. The general theme of the other people getting their pens is that something they did impressed Izuku somehow, causing him to subconsciously go "yeah this person is worthy of Power"— Uraraka fights a goose, Todoroki catches a mugger with his ice, and other stuff.

According to my notes, the plan was for Iida to get a pen too, during the Stain incident. Iida would refuse to have any part of the whole Magica stuff, though, because that's ILLEGAL. Izuku figures out that it's a quirk sometime before/during the whole training camp thing, and uses it intentionally for the first time as part of a plan to rescue Bakugou— he can sorta sense where his "chosen" are, or at least their pens.

I went back and forth on whether Bakugou has had a pen all along or if Izuku granted him a pen on the spot; I swear I had foreshadowing indicating Bakugou had one all along but I can't remember which fic it'd've been in. There's some parts I'd rewrite to align better with that if I could, but alas that is no longer on the table.

The most recent arc at the time of me writing BNHA Magica was the one introducing Eri, so that also got included in my vague disorganized outline. The FULL extent of my notes there are a quick little description of Izuku granting Eri a pen so that he can track her the same way he tracked Bakugou.

After this, I resolved to, quote, "CATAPULT MYSELF INTO THE ABYSS" and stop following canon. I then did not write down Any specific events beyond the bounds of canon. Good work, Past Me!

Some more disorganized things, uh... The way the Magical Girl Quirk works on Izuku's Chosen (including himself) is it essentially transfers their own quirk into a magic wand, replacing it with a pile of minor passive quirks. Stuff like mild superspeed, strength, agility, a dash of spidey-sense, aaaaaaaaaand fast healing. Or possibly the ability to share damage between everyone involved! I thought it was a very fun creative idea at the time, and it does suit the actual nature of the quirk being them all getting linked to Izuku, but it's also Really involved. My notes on it mostly involve Izuku getting Grievously Wounded during Training Camp but turning out mostly fine, but all his chosen experiencing Very Intense Fatigue as he saps their energy to regrow all the bones in his left arm. IDK if I'd've kept it in the end.

The other big thing in my notes that I'm not as sure about in hindsight is the idea of Izuku getting One For All after all, just, like, Late. It kinda ties in with the healing thing; I had the idea that he kinda reflexively shares the Overwhelming Power across the entirety of his network so that it doesn't make him Explode, but it does possibly result in synchronized Arm-Breaking. But idk about keeping that, I might've just found the image funny enough to write down.

Aaaaaaaand I think that's the extent of what's worth sharing from my written notes. To cap the post off, here's the (very incomplete) concept art! Not everyone represented here was Actually going to get a pen, I just sorta went wild and/or thought it would be funny.

[bistec-37]

If you’re seeing this, welcome to my blog! a bit about me:

I’m a minor so please no creepy stuff

My major interests are basically all movies and music ever, the X-men, twin peaks, and the peanuts

I’m always happy to chat, especially about movies. Please dm me if you feel like it I’ll probably be very awkward and anxious!!!

Some of my favorite movies! frances ha, all that jazz, something wild, royal tenenbaums, the lady eve, singin in the rain, who framed rodger rabbit, stop making sense

I want to be a director someday fingers crossed

I’m so very anxious and hope you enjoy my shit

Letterboxd: https://boxd.it/965yV

Dni terfs, nazis, homophobes, etc.

Di silly gooses with brown hair (joking not joking)

I also I have a side blog that’s really only for me @sickandtwistedjoker where I am the joker as played by Jared leto but he’s really insecure about being sick and twisted and he needs constant approval so go follow that

I hate this intro so I made a silly little collage that best describes me

[justnat15]

Christmas Cookies

Okay, this was supposed to just be lighthearted and funny all the way through, but then the waltzing started and it's my absolute dream to dance around my home with the love of my life someday just because we can. This became an indulgence and is a lot longer than originally planned. Oops. So, with that, I present to you this story. Over 1,300 words of pure indulgent Christmas fun.

So much thanks to my foxy wifey @writeforfandoms for encouraging me when I was worried about making our cowboy out of character. I love you!

Warnings: Um, Christmas? Country music mentioned? Dancing? Cookies. Fluff.

                     Christmas Cookies

A heavenly smell infused the air inside the modest sized ranch house. You danced around the kitchen to the Christmas music playing on the radio as you took a cookie sheet out of the oven and placed it on the counter top to cool. Moments later, another sheet of cookies was placed in the oven. Different colors of frosting and sprinkles littered the island in the middle of the room.

Jack “Whiskey” Daniels, special agent of Statesman, watched the scene with warm eyes from the entryway. It did his heart so much good to see the woman he adored more than anything be comfortable and at home in his house. With that feeling of warmth and love still radiating from him, he walked forward and grabbed you around the waist, spinning you to face him with a grin.

“Jack! You're home early!” His little darling cried with excitement, your smile making your eyes sparkle with joy. You stood up on tiptoe to press a quick kiss to the man's lips, giggling softly at the feel of his mustache against your soft skin.

“Hello sugar,” Jack murmured, whirling the two of you around the kitchen in a lively two-step. The cowboy's smile grew at the sound of his lover's laughter ringing through the house as he continued to spin you around to the music.

When the song ended and the dancing came to a pause, you were out of breath and rosy-cheeked. “What's got you in such high spirits today, cowboy of mine?” You asked, wriggling out of his grip to check on the cookies still baking in the oven.

Jack grinned salaciously at the sight of you bent over, reaching out to goose you. He chuckled at the yelp you let out, grabbing your hand as you whirled around to smack his shoulder. “I can't just be happy to see you in our home?” He bent down, his lips brushing against yours with each word.

Your mind blanked at the closeness between the two of you. It didn't matter that you had been in a relationship for over two years, Jack still managed to take your breath away and cause your brain to shut down at the drop of a hat.

Jack chuckled again at the bright blush spreading across your cheeks. He leaned down further and closed the distance between the two of you to properly kiss you. When he pulled back, he marveled at the flush that was somehow a deeper color across your cheeks. “Hello, darlin',” he cooed softly.

You blinked and smiled brightly up at your cowboy. “Welcome home, Jack. You're just in time to help me decorate the Christmas cookies.” You laughed as you spun out of his grip and turned back to the cookie sheet sitting on the space next to the stove. “The first batch should be cooled enough to put the icing on!”

The brunet laughed and followed you, enamored with how you shifted gears so quickly from being under his spell to being excited over Christmas cookies of all things. “Sounds like a plan, darlin'. Do you have the sprinkles this time?” He held back a snicker at the pout you sent his way over the reminder of the lack of sprinkles the last time you made cookies to decorate.

“Hush you! Or you won't get any of these! Not that you should, anyway. At least not until the company party, since Champ personally asked me to bring them,” you absentmindedly smacked away the cowboy agent's hand that was reaching for one of the sugar cookies waiting to be decorated. You giggled at the yelp and mock pout your lover sent your way.

“Now, sugar, taste testing is an important part of baking! It's for quality control! After all, you wouldn't want to take any cookies that didn't taste right,” Jack whined, wrapping his arms around your waist.

You leaned back in his embrace and sighed. “Oh alright. But just one!”

“From each batch?” Jack buried his face in your neck, knowing his mustache would tickle the sensitive skin there.

You screamed in laughter and tried to pull away. “Jack Daniels, you stop that!” Alas, his grip was too secure and you couldn't escape. After a few moments of delicious torture, he let you go and spun you around in his arms.

“Dance with me?” He led you in a slow traveling waltz as Frank Sinatra's “The Christmas Waltz” played in the background.

A soft smile tugged at the corners of your mouth as the two of you danced around the kitchen again. “You know this is my favorite Christmas song.”

Jack hummed in acknowledgment. “I also remember once you said that you always wanted to waltz to it with your partner.” He hummed along to the crooning of Sinatra as he continued to twirl you around the kitchen.

You perked up at his comment. You hadn't talked about that to anyone since... “That was years ago! Before you even asked me out on our first date! Wait, I didn't even tell you that. I was talking to Ginger at the first Christmas party I attended at the agency!” You leaned back to make eye contact. “Jack, did you eavesdrop on me?”

His chuckle vibrated in his chest as he pulled you in close. “I was smitten from the first time I laid eyes on you, didn't you know that, sugar? The brand new tech specialist working alongside Ginger. I gathered information to make sure I could capture your attention and keep it. I succeeded, didn't I?” He bent you in a quick dip before pulling you back up for a spin. He grinned as his shining brown eyes met yours.

You returned his grin with one of your own. “Yes you did, cowboy.” You stood on tiptoes to kiss your lover, happiness shining in your eyes.

The two of you continued to dance in a comfortable silence for the next few songs until the timer went off, reminding you of the cookies still in the oven. Jack sighed and let you go, watching as you bounced on your toes in excitement again at the prospect of decorating Christmas cookies.

“C'mon, cowboy! You won't distract me this time from icing these cookies!” You giggled, pulling the special agent to the kitchen island where you had previously laid out all the tools for your current mission.

Jack just shook his head and followed your lead. At least for a little bit. An hour into decorating the cookies, Jack smirked at you over the cookies and frosting between the two of you and stretched out a hand to you as George Strait’s “Christmas Cookies” played over the speaker you had hooked your phone up to.

“C’mon, sugar. Swing with me,” was all he said before he grabbed you and pulled you to your feet. You laughed and obliged, allowing yourself to be led into a country swing. 

The constant movements of spins, dips, and jumps kept you on your toes, literally and figuratively. You knew all the same moves as Jack, but you never knew too far ahead of time which move he would pull until he was signaling you with the press of his hands. He could move through a tabletop or two, twist you through the pretzel, or lift you up on his hip before leading you behind his back for a hand change. 

Dancing with Jack brought you exhilaration like no other. Sure, you had other great dance partners, but none of them had a thing on Jack. He made following his lead as easy as breathing. It didn’t hurt that his touch made you feel alive in a way no one else could ever hope to. 

As if reading your thoughts, Jack pulled you in close and murmured in your ear, “I love you, sugar.” He spun you out and then back in with a wide smile on his face. “Best dance partner I could ever have.” 

You grinned, breathless, as the Statesman agent led you into one last dip as the song came to a close. “I love you, too, cowboy,” you managed to whisper before Jack pulled you up into a sweet kiss. 

“Now, how about we finish up those cookies?” Jack asked once he let you go. You couldn’t do anything but laugh as you both got back to decorating.

[leofrith]

Ok I have 3 for you now that Mando is back but only do the ones that interest you:

1) top 5 dinluke moments that live only inside your head

2) top 5 din and grogu father-son moments

3) top 5 choices made by filoni and favreau across shows that make you want to Kill

you fool!! you absolute silly goose!!! i am answering all of them <3

top 5 dinluke moments that live only inside my head:

these are all just concepts for scenarios/whole ass fics that i'm currently turning over in my brain like a rotisserie chicken that i may or may not actually write someday lmao. dinluke is beginning to overtake my brain again like a parasite so i rambled a lot. sorry 🤡

the original trilogy au where din and luke meet on tatooine just before anh and when din is still relatively new to being a hunter, and they spend maybe a few weeks hanging out together and there's something there but nothing ever comes of it before din has to leave. and by the time they finally meet again a few years later, luke has become the hero that blew up the death star and din is essentially just a freelancer working odd jobs for the rebels sometimes and is convinced luke won't remember him but he does!! and as they become more entangled luke makes it his mission to convince din to formally join the rebellion but din keeps refusing because his first responsibility is to his covert and they keep getting pulled in opposite directions by duty :))))

force sensitive din au in which din has repressed his connection to the force since he was a kid and went through the trauma of watching his parents die but it forces itself to the surface in a situation in which he needs it to protect his son (because i adore parallels and i will drag this father-son dynamic into everything wherever possible). and now he's saddled with being a father to a little force sensitive powerhouse while dealing with his own abilities that he had buried down so deep that he forgot they even existed and it feels uncontrollable and unbearable and loud and luke teaches him to quiet his mind and train his abilities. when the Just Some Guy is suddenly overcome with an immense amount of power and has to figure out how to deal with it. <3333

din gets a bounty with just a vague description and a location and he gets there and realizes THAT'S MY HUSBAND so he obviously doesn't follow through but he very quickly realizes that half the other bounty hunters in the galaxy are ALSO after luke. so he spends the next little while batting away bounty hunters with a stick while also just trying to pay them off (which doesn't really work because, as always, he is flat broke) or negotiate because he knows most of these people through ✨networking✨ and he doesn't want to cause tension in the workplace by murdering his colleagues. and perhaps luke is mostly oblivious to all this, but i think he knows exactly what's going on and is just watching it all go down because it's extremely funny and he could easily take care of himself.

din (and possibly also grogu, but one thing at a time here) dies in the destruction of luke's jedi academy and he's toeing the line of the dark side to resurrect his husband from the dead. and he needs to navigate the world between worlds to get him back so he recruits ahsoka who has spent time there before but she's like absolutely the fuck not!! i've seen where this path leads, please stop. but luke, who is the force's favourite little guy, says fine i'll do it myself then. :) and....... idk i have some ideas of where this could go but i don't want to spoil anything. <3

din and luke are getting married and anakin (who maybe never fell to the dark side in the first place or.... something) is very unimpressed with this guy and din and anakin are going at it like jane fonda and jennifer lopez in monster in law because din dislikes anakin in every universe and this is a non-negotiable fact thank you. :)

the rest of these are going under a read more because this post is so fucking long dude 💀

top 5 din and grogu father-son moments:

chapter 15 the believer aka the best episode when din takes off his helmet in front of a bunch of imperials in the first instance of showing his face to any (living) being since he was a child and absolutely none of them can even begin to understand the significance of it. grogu obviously isn't even in the scene but din did that for his son so it counts. sickening i'm gonna be SICK.

the whole sequence when din goes back for grogu after delivering him to the imperials in chapter 3, but especially when they're surrounded and din is looking down at the baby bundled in his arms and knows they're both about to die. but i think he's at peace with his decision. and later when they're back on the razor crest and din gives grogu the ball he had just taken away from him at the beginning of the episode. that's growth, baby. clawing at the walls about it. din djarin you are a father now.

the entirety of chapter 10 the passenger. i don't care how many people want to complain about that episode being "filler," it is perhaps THE father-son episode of the show and one of my favourites of the season. just an entire episode of din being the World's Worst Uber Driver and grogu getting into Predicaments that his dad has to fix. it also gets a high rating on account of grogu's little baby run to his dad at the beginning of the episode. Kill Me.

chapter 4 sanctuary when din is contemplating leaving grogu on sorgan while watching him play with the village children and then when he's asking while not outright asking omera to take him in. the voice cracks. fuck you fuck you fuck you fu-

their goodbye in the s2 finale like I HATE that he showed his face for no reason don't get me wrong but the kid seeing his dad's face for the first time? if they had just fucking left the room to say their goodbyes and if that moment had just been for them as it should have been? SICKENING!!!!!!!

some honorable mentions include:

din trying to teach his son mechanics (badly, with osha violations)

din saying grogu's name repeatedly after finally learning it just because the kid's reaction is cute 😭

din holding grogu while he sleeps when he thinks grogu is going to stay with ahsoka 🥺

"this is the seeing stone, are you seeing anything??"

grogu holding his dad's boot while he's dying of a head wound in the s1 finale <3

top 5 choices made by filoni and favreau that make me want to Kill:

(i could literally name 5 from the past week. every day favriloni come up with new and exciting ways to piss me off)

ending season two of the mandalorian with din and grogu being separated, a massive event for the show, only to then have them reunite almost immediately and barely making an attempt to first explore what they were like and how they were feeling during their time apart and doing so ON A DIFFERENT SHOW. i will not elaborate. it's been done to death already. i want to Kill.

the mcuification of star wars is real and it is terrifying. every day i live in fear of cameos of beloved characters who have no reason to appear except to advertise their upcoming disney show and are completely out of character. i want to Kill.

din taking off his helmet in front of a bunch of people for absolutely no reason. it was so unnecessary. they could have at least gone to another room to say their goodbyes. i want to Kill.

literally everything they've done with live action ahsoka. who the FUCK is that? hashtag not my ahsoka. i want to Kill.

this one is a filoni specific crime. why do the clones look like that in tcw. do you genuinely think that's what temuera morrison looks like. i demand BLOOD!!!!!

[callmesweetcheeks]

top gun Thought of the Day

so, a little backstory, I've been vaguely following dakar rally with my dad because he's obsessed and in the middle of some random highlights video I had an epiphany

this would so work with top gun/tgm characters

you see, the kind of personalities seemingly everyone has in tg, the arrogant asshole-ish lone wolf personalities, aren't really common in the navy, real pilots are encouraged to be team players, to be humble ect ect, but you know who is allowed to be overconfident assholes? drivers, specifically race car/formula 1/rally drivers

i personally love the rally drivers version best because they even have an equivalent of a backseater, also (if i got it right) there are teams, similar to f1, so that could be the equivalent of a wingman, that would actually make more sense because they could actually choose their 'wingman' unlike in the navy where they are assigned...

moving on, everyone's flying style can simply be translated to their driving style and their backstories to an extent too, like, Mav's dad was a rally racer who died in an accident but it was because of a mistake the people in charge made, they left some turns without proper railings because they spent too much money on covering up some other problem and his dad slid through one of those right into a canyon, they just blamed it on him not being a good enough driver and maybe even came up with some shit about him. now mav is driving against a ghost

icemav rivalry is just the same, ice finds mav dangerous and too reckless, mav finds him boring and hot, driving by the rules is lame or whatever and yes they fall in love but the rally people aren't really known to be accepting and internal homophobia makes an appearance also...

goose is still mav's best friend platonic soulmate and 'backseater' (idk the real name for the role) and he dies in a crash mav blames himself for

rooster want's to follow in his dad's (read maverick's) footsteps but it scares mav shitless so he sabotages him in some way (idk how that would happen honestly) which causes the rift between them and yeah

i had a lot of thoughts on this maybe i even write it someday but for now if anyone has any fanwork similar to this (i can't possibly be the first one who has thought of it) please let me know i'm fucking desperate

[myz-wykkyd]

I hope you don't mind if i send a few ask game questions for Rosalie! I can't express how much i love her like - the outfit? the backstory? she is everything

3. Which city state would they most like to visit, and why? 4. Who are they closest with in Sandrock? What’s their relationship with that person? 8. Are they interested in the old world? 11. What’s their opinion on Logan? Did they know him before he left Sandrock? 14. What’s their favourite game at the Golden Goose? 18. What’s their favourite holiday?

I don't mind at all! thank you so much for sending in the asks- your interest in Rosalie means a lot to me! <333

3. Which city state would they most like to visit, and why?

Due to her upbringing, Rosalie has visited most of the Free Cities alongside her stepfather- who was happy to take her with him on business trips. She enjoyed traveling and of the places she’s been, Walnut Groove and Tallsky were her favorites. But at the end of the day, the only place she ever really wanted to go was back to Sandrock. 

4. Who are they closest with in Sandrock? What’s their relationship with that person?

During her childhood in Sandrock, Owen was something of an older brother figure to Rosalie. He kept an eye on her while their parents worked in the Blue Moon Saloon and played with her on occasion!  Unfortunately, she lost touch with him after her family moved to Atara. But the time they spent apart, growing as people, allowed them to become genuinely close friends upon her return. After finishing her own work, she loves nothing more than going to the saloon to listen to his stories, play music for him with Cooper and Hugo, and dance with him on occasion. There’s definitely ALOTA romantic tension between them- but Rosalie hasn’t acted on them yet because she also has complicated feelings for a certain bandit that I’ll get to in a second.

She’s bandmates with Cooper and Hugo (She plays the fiddle in ze band). Friends with Grace, Qi, Heidi, and Trudy. There’s a special place in her heart for Mort and Zeke. She also adopts Andy eventually.  

8. Are they interested in the old world?

Oh yes, for sure. As a builder, she views the old world and its mysteries as a potential treasure trove of discovery that could help the world. She collects old world artifacts, books, ect. 

11. What’s their opinion on Logan? Did they know him before he left Sandrock?

Once upon a time, Logan was Rosalie’s best friend. In the early years of their lives, they did nearly everything together- from playing, to mischief making, to following Howlett on adventures. And even back then she had quite the crush on him. But ofc, that all changed when her mother remarried and her family moved to Atara. Leaving him broke her heart, but she never forgot about him and part of her always hoped she’d see him again someday. (Infact, Logan is part of the reason she wanted to return to Sandrock so badly). 

He was off being a bandit by the time she finally managed to return. But she could never bring herself to believe the things people said about him were true. She remained a skeptic until certain events unfold-

14. What’s their favorite game at the Golden Goose?

Whack-a-mole 100% because of the endless joy she gets from smashing inanimate objects with a big hammer.

18. What’s their favorite holiday?

HAHAHA she wouldn’t ever be able to choose a favorite. She loves the Dance Off, the Tour de Rock,  Showdown at High Noon and Running of the Yakmel. Would look forward to them every year<3

[imsosocold]

A very (un)comprehensive review of Thanks To Them:

You foolish fools, you thought we’d never return. But here’s the (non) long awaited sequel reaction of the TOH finale because it was way more popular than I thought lmao.

I, uh, initially planned to include OFF quotes in each review  post to collaborate with themes we got from each episode but I lost my quote list so we’re not doing that anymore. I’ll make a quote post for Belos someday though, promise.

Also we have no concept of time or order so if the reactions aren’t in the correct sequence of events oh well.

Lomes: Belos better go to Turballos this episode.

Jorah: Is that your qualification for TOH at this point?

Sunniva: When are you forcing us to do a OPM MA reaction post?

*I slammed my hand on my desk to try to look cool but I just made it red instead.*

Me: Foolish fools, you underestimate our purpose here.

Lomes: You’re playing around too much AA, you’ll become liberal at this rate. 

Sunniva: Not the worst verbal phrase fae has chosen to mimic. Besides, I’m surprised your interest in TOH has lasted this long.

Jorah: Stuff never dies with chir. Like with Minecraft Story Mode.

 Me: Foolish fools, I want some attention so we’re doing more dumb online stuff.

Jorah: Now I’m included! :D

Me: Behave.

Jorah: Say that to Lomes!

Lomes: Yeah, say that to me.

…

Sunniva: [ Noelle], your hands are all red now. Stop hurting yourself please

Lomes: Bang your head on the desk pussy. 

*******************************************************************

Jorah: Why is everyone else forgetting Lilith was there during the whole Philip-finds-the-Collector-scene?  

Lomes: Yeah, it’s mostly her fault. Fuck your mother Lilith AUs.

Sunniva: Okay, that’s a bit harsh.

Me: Does Hunter even know Caleb was Philip’s brother? He only called Caleb ‘ a witch hunter’.

Lomes: You should know, you’re the one who’s following the show.

Sunniva: You know they struggle to comprehend stuff.

Me: Yeah, all I do is struggle.

Jorah: They have memory problems Lomes >:0

 Me: Yeah I have sooo many problems.

Lomes: I’m going to channel Technoblade to kick your ass.

*******************************************************************

Lomes: All the Lunter fans cried at this episode lmao.

Jorah: I’m crying cause Luz’s dad is ugly >:(

Sunniva: YOU CAN’T JUST SAY THAT  HE’S DEAD AND THIS IS THE FIRST PROPER LOOK WE GOT OF HIM- 

*******************************************************************

Lomes: This is powerpoint  presentation levels of quality.   

Jorah: Isn’t western animation a beautiful thing?

Me, watching Amity fall: ♪ Story of my life♪ 

*******************************************************************

Jorah: There’s finally Spanish! And it’s actually subtitled :D!!

Lomes: What’s with all the sound effects though?

Sunniva: What’s with all the photos Willow has of her friends dating?

Me: “ Friends”.

Lomes: Imagine us having those.

*******************************************************************

Lomes: Ugh, they’re pushing the Willow x Hunter ship sooo hardd.

Me: Ugh, shipping.

Jorah: Unless it’s funny.

Me: Unless it’s funny.

Sunniva:  Uh, Wally Darling x Gregg x Angus. 

Me: See, that’s just good.

Lomes: Okay,what’s ‘funny’ to you, silly goose, cause-

Jorah: I shipped Mae x Gregg x Angus…

Lomes: EXCUSE ME-

*Then they got into a fight about shipping I honestly did not care about and did not even attempt to record it.*

*******************************************************************

Jorah: Imagine if Luz had to cover the Wittebros’s tale in her history class lmao. 

Lomes: Imagine if the TOH crew covered the Wittebros’s story in canon.

Sunniva: Can you guys try to be optimistic?

Lomes: You will not suppress-

Me: This is why we can’t do anything-

Jorah: Meow~^•ﻌ•^ฅ

*******************************************************************

Lomes:  HUNTER FLAPJACK IS JUST A BIRD CALM DOWN!!

Sunniva: He’s been on Twitter too long. ( Said the Twitter user).

Jorah: Palismen rights!!!

Me: Palestinian rights?

Jorah: That too! :)

*******************************************************************

Me: Just realized Belos was probably in the house during the breakdown scene.  Very awkward.

Jorah: What do you think he was doing offscreen all that time? Besides getting a sugar daddy.

Me: Abolishing the system and adding the rich’s corpses amongst its remains.

Lomes: Considering nerfing the human realm and honestly I couldn’t blame him.

Sunniva: Escaping from your purpose is impossible.    

*******************************************************************

Jorah: Ok OK, I know Caleb is literally Connecticut Clark but it’d be funny if Belos fell for an opposite equivalent to himself as well in the Human Realm, who cares what species-

Me: The guy working in the gas station, slouched over the cooler with an unlit cigarette in his mouth. 

Lomes: Ah, gas station people, my favorite species.

Jorah: Have you been to Circle K?

Me: Their food is good.

Lomes: You got sick from their spicy chicken since you were doomed to be a basic white bitch even with your, admittedly split, heritage. 

Sunniva: Didn’t you ship Wilbur Soot and Belos [Noelle]?

Me:Oh yeah, I thought it’d be funny that when learning topical stuff, Belos got hyperfixated on the DSMP and ended up actually believing the roleplay was real, that Wilbur had been involved with some weird magic and managed to escape back to his home in the human realm; Utah.  He believes the videos were either exact records of Wilbur’s escapades or simple reenactments of it.  Cue humiliation and confusion when Belos tries to contact Wilbur. Or by coincidence the duo met at a Lovejoy concert idk.

Lomes: Either way Belos buys and wears DSMP merch.

Me: Definitely. 

( Somebody draw this).

*******************************************************************

Jorah: ♪ Enby, enby.~♪

Sunniva: I love Masha’s fit.  

Lomes: [ Noelle], it’s you straight up!    

Me: I wish there was a Casa Batlló look to the museum… *******************************************************************

 Lomes: Our favorite occultist Nathan Fielder 

Me, hitting the desk again: Stop. 

Sunniva: I thought his name was Nathan too.

Jorah: Who fed you that lie? It had to come from someone!

Sunniva: More importantly, he looks like the MOTHERFUCKER WHO STOLE THE FUCKING YOUTUBE TO MP3 CONVERTER OFF MY CAR-

*******************************************************************

Jorah: Glad that guy was dealt with. Just  imagine the fucking government. *＾ワ ^* 

Me: Conspiracy theorist or not, it’d make sense to both be freaked out by and be curious of a supernatural creature. His reactions are some of the tamer ones honestly. 

Sunniva: Think he’s related to the witch hunter Hopkins? 

Lomes: If so, no wonder he’s cray cray.  People would make his life a living hell for the shit his ancestor’s did.

Jorah: All Nathan does is take Ls.

Sunniva: He’s definitely the punching bag of the writers.   

Lomes: One guy criticized Dana’s writing too many times.  

Me: Dana watched one too many TOH critical Youtube videos. But honestly, he seems like a waste of character space and writing.       

 Lomes: Not all characters need to be deep or important. 

Me: With what little time they have yeah.

 Sunniva: It may be funny to laugh at him and feel smug over not being in the same boat but  we can easily fall for the same tricks. 

 Lomes: They did deal with the antivaxer better. It’d be cool if he was the museum caretaker.

Jorah: History coven duo!

Lomes: Belos x Nathan, the hate sink ship.

Me: No.

Sunniva: Belos and his curse x The Nathan Fielder-

Me: STOP-

*******************************************************************

Me: Ah, Masha said the line the TOH fandom takes too seriously.

Jorah: I’m more focused on Willow’s costume, like yikes. ಠ-ಠ

Lomes: God, could they make it anymore obvious-

Me: ♪He was a boy.♪

Jorah: ♪She was a girl.♪

Lomes: ♪That song was misogynistic and homophobic.♪ Anyway, with all that laughing and ominous music- 

Sunniva: I’m still trying to figure out how the museum had the budget for that hayride, it was some Disney BS-

*Group groan* Disney 

Lomes: Fuck the mouse.

Me: No thank you.

Lomes: Not literally.

Jorah: Eat the mouse. Literal.

Sunniva: What do mice taste like?

Lomes: Chicken.

Sunniva: Why chicken?

Lomes: Every non traditional meat tastes like chicken.

Jorah: Do you think Flapjack tastes like chicken?

Me: I’m hitting the desk again. 

 *******************************************************************

Me: Why do you think there is still magic in the lake?

Jorah: There is a Titan fetus in the lake water. 

 *******************************************************************

Lomes: He said it so fruity. Oh no~    

 Jorah: I like the maniacal  laugh. ˙ྌ˙

Sunniva: Luz’s mom must have no idea what's going on. “ Wow Hunter, your costume is actually cool now.”

 *******************************************************************

Jorah: They killed Hunter’s support animal and only friend by having them flap uselessly in front of Belos, not even trying to fight, even though she was initially hiding behind the grave. >:(

Sunniva: The creators needed the angst. 

Me: No, see, Hunter hadn’t gone through enough pain, there’s a fucking quota that needs be met per a certain time frame. How else are people supposed to know that white people can feel pain?

Lomes: White people suffered a lot through history, you know. That’s why the show spent so much time on Hunter and Amity over characters like Willow and Gus.  

 *******************************************************************

Jorah: He’s not even screaming in anger over losing the Titan blood for the portal, he just needs something to the Halloween party or else he’s gonna lose support from his sugar daddy.

Lomes: “ No, Hunter! How am I gonna keep the bitches now? Everyone’s going to leave again.”

Sunniva: Okay, one of them tried to take the other down with them to water. Did Belos forget he can’t swim?

Me: My short, clumsy, memory loss having ass always going in the deep end while barely remembering how to swim. 

 *******************************************************************

Me: Luz and Amity need to break up at this point.

Lomes: You’re saying that cause you’re aro-ace spec.

Me: They’re just toxic, Luz never shares her thoughts or emotions-

Sunniva: People would flip out and call TOH homophobic and that they gave in to the pressure of Disney.

Me: Have Luz get with another female character then, like Willow.

Lomes: That’s what it’s been about all along-  

Jorah: I’ve always hc’d Luz as transmasc.

 *******************************************************************

Lomes: That was pointless.

Me: So was this post.    

Jorah: Check out Pigeon Pit and Crocodile Scissor Cut!

Lomes: Don't check any other work Noelle did. Let this be the last interaction you have with them.

Sunniva: How many more of these do we have to do?

Me: Uh, just TOH wise, three.

Another group groan!

[exsanguinated-doves]

My wife is quite the exquisite package: extremely gorgeous and always red-carpet ready, but also in great need of twenty hazard warnings. Of course, I love my wife, as all good spouses do.

It's just that now I know why her family had me sign a full terms and conditions agreement for me to marry their second-oldest daughter. Their wedding gift? A Pelican hardcase labelled "IN CASE OF AURORA" stocked with ammunition, emergency supplies and survival apparel which I don't want to look up the price of. It isn't that I did not know I was going to get here someday.

I had known from the beginning that I was holding hands with the human personification of violence. Wherever she goes, destruction follows, and her wife (which is me). She is the divine embodiment of the adjectives listed in the Thesaurus that are the synonyms of bloodthirsty. She is vicious, ruthless, a merciless savage capable of unspeakable terrors. Terror is the first thing to strike the hearts of the townsfolk once you bring up her name.

And yet, somehow, I have successfully gained her hand in marriage even though we are complete opposites. She is charming, in her own way, and I find her company to be pleasant. Our relationship is filled with warm love, a comforting one, when the thrill and excitement of seeing your partner becomes a gentle, tranquil happiness.

Now. Today. We're in a place where geese are known to be little monsters with webbed feet. She is dressed stylishly, (as she is quite haughty) and I am wearing slippers with socks on. Slung over her shoulder is her favorite bag--it was in the shape of a mushroom.

Then the goose comes in. She's telling me about the doughnut shop that recently opened. Both of us don't notice the goose. I hear a honk. I look away from her, and she stops talking. She also looks back at the goose.

The goose is walking normally. And then the goose breaks into a full 50kmph sprint at me. I am the target. I have the worst reaction time possible so I was standing there for a good three seconds before the goose suddenly FLIES towards me, webbed feet open to pounce. Now look here. I am quite tall. And this goose is around 2/5th of my height. This goose was angry. I emit a 'huh?' before a feathery fluff makes contact with my face.

Seconds blur into each other and I'm lying down on the pavement, with my head throbbing. I hear a loud shout. My body jolts upwards, a mixture of fear turned into adrenaline. It's my wife's voice.

She had told me, after the event, she had went over to me because I lost my balance and fell headfirst to the ground, but then the goose came at her side and somehow managed to get a hold of her bag and then immediately runs away.

Unlike me, who's reaction time is slower than a turtle, my wife is scarily fast. She immediately stops attempting to assess if I, her WIFE, was alright, and goes to chase after the fucking goose. I hear loud, angry cursing in a very sharp Scottish accent, bellowing a string of classic English expletives and Only-Found-In-The-UK insults. She's clearly using her wide knowledge of the English lexicon to the fullest in pursuit of this goose.

Now my wife is fast. But this goose, somehow, was faster. Maybe because it had the advantage since my wife was in heels, but I saw a woman who was putting Usain Bolt to shame just by running after this goose. The goose does a 360 twenty seconds in and starts running into a different direction.

"COME OVER HERE, YOU [REDACTED] WALLOPER FACED HORIZONTALLY CHALLENGED PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR A BIRD-"

As she says this, the goose seems to be honking a reply back, even with a purse in it's mouth. Finally, she catches up to the goose, grabs it by the neck, pulls the bag out of it's beak with another hand and chucks the fucker at least 6 feet in the air. The goose was alright, do not worry. It flew down. There was a moment of mutual respect between the two violent mongering beasts. At that point, I came to realize that, compared to a goose, the goose is pretty tame compared to my wife.