#some would say that this makes son a boring book and I'm never going to tell someone they're wrong for finding something

[bayetea]

son of neptune is also funny because the characters have no significant issue with each other. every other previous mainline book involves some kind of tense dynamic with the questing characters. in tlt it's percy and annabeth. in som annabeth hates tyson and percy is defensive of him whilst trying to swallow the fact that he's embarrassed to have a monster for a brother. in ttc percy and thalia and zoë are all fighting with each other constantly. in botl percy is back to childish quarreling with annabeth over the luke/rachel stuff + grover is scared of tyson + annabeth is intensely antagonistic towards rachel. and in tlo percy and annabeth are bickering again + percy strangles nico for lying to him. even jason and piper (though jason is still immediately jumping off a cliff to save her whilst unaware that he can fly) have instant tension in their dynamic that runs through the veins of tlh and beyond + leo struggles with feeling like a third wheel + piper is worried about betraying them for her father and that impacts the way she interacts with them

and then son of neptune rolls around and percy is immediately just like Wow you two are just awesome. I know we just met but we're besties now. and frank and hazel both already like + know each other and they immediately stick their necks out for percy and like him. like this has never happened in any other book before. they don't clash with each other At All. they have uncomplicated affection for each other in all directions of their trio and that kindness and affection is the soul of son of neptune. they are just so so friendly to one another and the only source of awkwardness among the main characters is frank's crush on hazel since the start of the book, a crush that barely even results in any real tension or conflict because they're still best friends from the jump and hazel likes him too, she's just a lot less willing to do anything about it because she hates herself and thinks gonna die by the end of the week

[goldenamaranthe-blog]

Who Dares Summon Me: Human Vaggie & Charlie

Vaggie: (sitting in the living room of a piece of shit apartment and reading from a "demon summoning" book. the sound of gunfire and police sirens barely even registers to her ears anymore)

Vaggie: Okay, so I got the Pentagram, a goat (glances at two goat plushies she stole from a name brand toy store) Fuckers will live..... they make millions in a day.

Vaggie: Candles... (glances at the Bath & Body Works, cinnamon and vanilla scented candles)

Vaggie: And... blood.... uh.... (Looks at the bucket filled with water, corn syrup, red food coloring, and cocoa powder to help create a blood effect) Fuck... demons can tell the difference between real and fake blood, right? Dammit.

Vaggie: (cuts her finger with her pocket knife and lets] a few drops fall into the bucket) There. That should work. Now, let's see-

Lute: (comes out of her room half naked and throws a pair of panties at Vaggie) Yo, Vagina! Adam stole your underwear again as a prank, I guess. Here.

Vaggie: (gawks as she catches the garment and spikes it to the floor) Lute! What the fuck?! Can't you control your fucking boyfriend??? How did he even get into my room?! I keep it locked for that reason.

Lute: (grabs a beer out of the fridge, pops the cap off on the counter, starts chugging, and flips off Vaggie as she returns to her room for whatever round she and Adam are on)

Vaggie: Sick perverted sons of bitches... (turns back to the book) Read the forbidden script and make a pact. (Scoffs) Okay, edge lords. I'll give it a go.

Vaggie: (recites the script with some difficulty)

..........

Vaggie: (relaxes her back against the couch) Can't say I'm surprised. I literally bought this online for six-

-Fire tornado erupts from the Pentagram and burning red eyes stare down at Vaggie from the inferno-

Demon Charlie: WHO dares summon the powerful Princess of Hell- Oh, fuck!!! (Trips over the bucket and falls face first into Vaggie's lap, revealing that she is wearing a red dress with black thigh high stockings)

Vaggie: Jesus Fucking Christ!!!

Demon Charlie: (face still pressed against Vaggie's crotch) You have a very comfortable lap.

Vaggie: (grabs demon's horns and pulls her up so they're sitting in front of each other) You're actually a demon?

Demon Charlie: (blinks) Considering the fact that you're still holding my horns, I have this adorable little tail (waves her heart-shaped tail in hello), and I came straight up from Hell because of your summoning circle. Yup! (Sees the plushies and gasps) Oh! You even gave Razzle and Dazzle their own conduits! You're so sweet!

Vaggie: ...........Who?

Demon Charlie: Razzle and Dazzle! You know. My pets. It's written in chatper six, paragraph five, sentence three. (Snaps her fingers and the two goat plushies turn into two living goat demons with wings)

Vaggie: (scouring the book) What?!

Demon Charlie: (snuggling her boys) Also, I know you had to use a little of your own blood to make this work, which I promise to help heal that cut on your finger by the way, but Thank You So Much for just using fake blood! I always feel so bad when people actually use a bucket of real blood. I usually let my dad take those summonings.

Vaggie: (glances at the bucket rolling across the floor then back to the demon) Y-Youre dad?

Demon Charlie: Lucifer, the King of Hell. (Light bulb goes off) Oh! I never completed my introduction! I'm Charlie Morningstar, Princess of Hell and heir to the throne. Pleased to meet you!

Vaggie: Uh.... Vaggie.... I never would have expected the Princess of Hell to be so..... bubbly....

Demon Charlie: I get that a lot. Now! What can I do for you? How can I help? Do you need money? Power? A soul you'd like for me to devour?

Vaggie: N-No... nothing quite like that....

Demon Charlie: Oh, thank Satan! I hate eating souls. Most of them taste so bad!

Vaggie: Uh-huh.... Well.... I don't really have anything for you. I got bored and decided I'd try this out...

Demon Charlie: (disappointed) Really? But you sold me your virginity. Surely, there's something you want in exchange!

Vaggie: I'm sorry. WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?

Demon Charlie: Drop of virgin blood and (holds up Vaggies lavender panties) an article of clothing that covers your most intimate desire.

Vaggie: (silently screaming)

Demon Charlie: H-Hey! If it makes you feel any better, I'm still a virgin, too! (Under her breath) Not from lack of trying on other asshole's accunts, but still....

Vaggie: Ay, Dios mio!

Demon Charlie: Well, I can't take your payment until you come up with something you want, soooooooo! (Transforms into a human)

Charlie: (snuggles up to Vaggie's side) I'll just have to stay here with you until you come up with something!

Vaggie: (catatonic)

[rise-my-angel]

I did some rewatching of scenes from House of the Dragon, and I think I've found a root problem with the writing.

And it isn't what was or was not adapted from Fire and Blood, or the plot or characters directions. There are issues there, but there is a bigger one I think that has been severely under analyzed. A massive problem with this show that has a big impact even when you don't realize, is how clunky and unnatural 90% of the dialogue is.

Something Game of Thrones did right, was take the dialogue from the books, and translate it to the screen by simplifying certain things, tightening sentences and changing wordage so that the actors had an easy time delivering the lines. It was a really good mix of the more formal speech and casual delivery. It meant lines that are good in the book, are good but different in the show because they cleaned up the dialogue so it didn't sound forced from the actors.

Everyone gets to speak in the appropriate manner for their class level, but it also is just quick and to the point. The actors all got a chance to do an amazing job, because they weren't forcing their talent through clunky and awkward to say dialogue.

House of the Dragon, is not doing this.

A significant amount of dialogue in this show takes way too long. Characters constantly use very overly formal, flowery, and fanciful language to say the simplest things even when they are alone in a room. Game of Thrones through all it's faults, knew how to cut to the chase and get the characters to just say what they are meant to say without trying so hard to sound fantasy like. But in HOTD, everyone talks like the writers are trying way too hard to make everyone sound like their from a different time when in reality it just bogs the show down and makes it boring.

A lot of good actors on this show fall flat because they have to force through awkward dialogue that normal people just don't sound like when they speak. Whenever Rhaenyra and Leanor discuss their marriage, it is so painfully unnatural. They are alone in the room, and neither of them ever just say what they mean.

When we saw this exact dynamic. As soon as Renly let the veil slip that he is struggling to go through with having sex with Margaery, she drops the act entirely and just cuts to the chase saying, "There's no need for us to play games." They are a bit more formal in the way they say things, but they still talk like real people. Rhaenyra and Leanor never had a single discussion that wasn't overly flowery as both characters talked around an issue we already understood. Laenor is gay and its putting a strain both on his personal mental health and their marriage as a whole. But neither of them ever get to the POINT without taking way too long to say the most basic of things.

Watch back to back scenes from both shows, and you will see that House of the Dragon completely fails to immerse you in it's dialogue beacuse it is trying so hard. Take the scene where Jace returns home after meeting with the Freys. Rhaenyra knows Jace is troubled about not being allowed to participate in the war, and this is the initial start of that discussion.

Rhaenyra: "You chafed at being prevented from action. Imagine my lot. I'm a dragonrider as well, with a war being fought over my ascension. And yet, I must wait here. Always prudent, sending others to fight and be felled in my name." Jace: "You are the queen. The tie that binds us. No harm can come to you." Rhaenyra: "And you are my son and I did not give you leave to go."

If I showed you that out of context, would you be able to tell me this is a mother and son disagreeing over their separate wants and choices during a war? No. It's full of words no one in Game of Thrones used in normal conversation. This is not how even highborns in this series talked to each other, this is writing dialogue in a way that is trying to sound like it is from a more medieval fantasy instead of just what real people sound like.

Neither actor delivering these lines sounds natural, neither can really portray the degree of frustration brewing between them when its being forced through this kind of bad writing.

Now take the same idea from Game of Thrones in a scene where Robb and Catelyn are in an argument over Robb's trust in Theon and Catelyns perceived frustration that Robb isn't putting priority on his sisters safety.

Robb: "Now I'm the one rebelling against the throne. Before me, it was father. You married one rebel and mothered another." Catelyn: "I mothered more than just rebels, a fact you seem to have forgotten." Robb: "If I trade the Kingslayer for two girls, my bannermen will string me up by my feet." Catelyn: "You want to leave Sansa in the Queen's hands? And Arya, I haven't heard a word about Arya. What are we fighting for if not for them?" Robb: "It's more complicated than that! You know it is."

Both use more formal language, but it's in how their sentence is structured rather then the words themselves. They're alone and they're both frustrated and they have absolutely no reason to mince words, they say exactly what they mean. By cleaning up the dialogue here to be more straight forward and simple, it allowed the actors to really shine. You truly feel Catelyns frustration stemming from her helplessness, and you feel Robbs understanding being overpowered by such a frustration that she won't understand his side. By the time Robb raises his voice and shouts at her, we don't take it as out of line because both of them have said exactly what they mean and the audience doesn't need Robb to apologize to know he didn't mean to yell and neither does Catelyn.

Not even the lowborn characters are saved from this in House of the Dragon. Theres a scene in Game of Thrones when Arya, Lommy, Hotpie, and Gendry are arguing by a stream about battle's and armour and they are all quick, talk over each other and it's very punchy and the flow is part of what makes it hilarious. Ser Davos is blunt and speaks with a very quick cadence to emphasize he was never taught to speak formally and thus feels comfortable saying exactly whats on his mind.

Most of the lowborns in House of the Dragon though, have very little differentiation from their highborn counterparts in the way their dialogue is structured. Some of the only differences is literally just, characters like Ulf have a lowborn accent, but that accent delivers the same kind of drawn out, overly formal dialogue that isn't present in Game of Thrones lowborns. It's very easy to distinguish who was raised how in the simple manner which they speak.

Highborns talk slower and more clearly and their sentences are structured a bit better, and lowborns normally talk faster with less refined accents and normally have no real issue saying whats on their mind because they are used to being surrounded by other people who don't care about being formal.

It might not be obvious, but the dialogue is a big reason why people struggle to connect to these characters far more then they did Game of Thrones. The dialogue is clunky, there is no distinction made as to why certain people talk this way or why it seems everyone around them speaks in the same manner when they have no reason to.

There's so much more to get through, to understand what these people are saying, thinking, and feeling because the dialogue works against them. The best acting is done, when the characters are silently reacting to each other because there's no fighting against bad writing to portray exactly what they need to.

Again, there are multiple comparative scenes that you could watch back to back and see this problem play out in real time. Scenes discussing similar issues or portraying similar emotions but House of the Dragon never reaches that emotional peak that connects it's audience to these characters as relatable, because we pick up on the fact that they don't talk like humans. They talk like they are performing a school play, not as if they are speaking like real people just talking to each other.

Try it yourself, the examples I used earlier. Say each set of lines out loud and deliver it with as much emotion as possible. Because I am willing to bet that the Game of Thrones dialogue will be a lot easier to say, and thus a lot easier to deliver with a real emotion.

There's no excuse. Game of Thrones took good book dialogue, and cleaned it up so it had a smooth transition into good show dialogue. House of the Dragon has the freedom to write most of it's own original dialogue since Fire and Blood is written as a historical record and not a pov narrative. There is no transition to make lines from the book that in full may sound clunky and unnatural out loud, into something clean and to the point that makes it easy for the actors to work with the dialogue instead of against it.

But House of the Dragon fails in inventing it's own dialogue, because at every turn it is trying way too hard to sound like the books instead of the show.

Trust me, you wonder why you can't connect, relate or really care about a lot of these characters? I'm willing to bet that the poor writing is doing a lot of heavy lifting for that.

If the characters don't even talk like humans, our brains are more likely to tune out, because it all sounds like actors reading a script, not characters speaking to each other realistically.

Real people talk like the characters in Game of Thrones. No one talks like the characters in House of the Dragon.

And that is a massive problem.

[like-a-young-prospero]

S03E04 Thoughts

I've watched it 4 times now and I keep seeing new stuff. Thoughts under cut for some book spoilers.

Mieren!!! And her mention of Lews in her reasoning. The Bore is *not* about power to all. That's justification. She's one of the elite, extremely powerful and priveleged in her own right. She's rightfully pissed about everything that happened with Lews, but she clearly wants to be his equal. Making *everyone* equal is just a side effect. The bit about "it feels good to bring in the harvest with your own hands" feels very much like a person in power making decisions for the masses without taking what they want into account. I'm not saying she was wrong to want to even the playing field. I just think her motives are less altruistic than she plays them off as. Also, the Mieren name drop makes me increasingly confident we're going to get the wonderfully delicious moment of surprise from her when Rand calls her by that name.

Aviendha recoiling from the dragon marks was such a good detail. Not only is her fear that he really is the Car'a'carn confirmed, but also she *just* went through the rings and all the possible futures that entails. She's still reeling from those revelations. Seems like we're probably getting the cold shoulder era leading up to the igloo if I had to guess.

Rand seeing his mothers face for the first time but she's dead and experiencing his father's anguish at the loss of her and himself is just brutal. There can never be anymore doubt for him about where he comes from. And to know for absolute certain that he was wanted and missed. The truth can only complicate his feelings about Tam. It's such a sweet flip on the Aiel pain of learning their past. He cannot understand their trauma at learning of the broken oaths, but he has his own trauma to face. And he sees it, too. It's clear from his short talk with Aviendha. Rand has darkness and madness and terrible decisions ahead, but I think we're going to see some maturity developing in him going forward.

Moggy being the only other Forsaken in the dark squad is super interesting. I can only wonder at the circumstances that would have her and Lanfear working together. It's also interesting that it's all of the EF5, not just the channelers, so they couldn't have been Turned, at least not all of them. As so many others have said, damn they all look hot. I want bts of all those fits.

Moiraine talking about the fog and being almost able to see weaves in it. Could possibly be a reference to inverted weaves? Would also have to be tied off. Easter egg? Or foreshadowing that we'll be getting those plotlines later?

Speaking of Moiraine, absolutely heartbreaking to watch them realizing together how closely tied they are, seeing that despite everything between them they do both care a great deal about each other as people, but that it doesn't matter because they are agents of fate. People like to over-simplify their relationship as something akin to mother/son, but I think it's so much more complicated than that. They're family after a sort, but their primary tension is in relating as people vs agents of the wheel. When Rand says "you've never helped me", she can't understand that he's saying she's never helped Rand the person. She's a zealot that has never been able to see past him being the Dragon. No matter their love for each other, their individual needs and wants are diametrically opposed. There's a gap between them that can never be crossed, and now they both know it.

I did not mean to write this much, but this episode has set my brain on fire.

[spockandawe]

You know what I can't get enough of? Speculation about what the fictional novel Proud Immortal Demon Way says about its fictional author. Because it would be completely possible to make a story like this without that connection. I'm not sure I've read any other transmigration story where the author was a character, so just that addition adds a lot of interesting texture to the situation even without getting deep in the author's head, but it's so interesting how deep I can speculate in so many directions if I think about getting in his head.

And oh man, I could talk for AGES about how Shang Qinghua and his iconic protagonist reflect each other, but a lot of people have written about that already! Including in the medium of fic, which is my favorite way to consume that kind of crunch. So let's talk about familial neglect and mistreatment and the author's favorite character.

Honestly, when I look at how iconic this ship is, I'm astonished there aren't more hit novels where the author gets yeeted into their own book and has to navigate platonic or romantic relationships with their own characters. A lot of the parallels between Shang Qinghua and Luo Binghe are about them being alike in ugly and vulnerable ways, ways I don't think either of them likes about themselves, and regarding aspects of their personalities that I don't think they'd be happy discussing period. Like, Binghe very much hates himself, that's right there on the page. And Shang Qinghua is a ridiculous character, he's very funny, but he's also not stupid. He's very aware of who he is and what he is, and makes a decision to behave the ways he does. I'm typing this up because I was scrolling through an old chat looking for something and tripped across a conversation about shang qinghua and fawn trauma response.

He knows he does this thing! He has an easy opening to turbokill Mobei-jun while he's unconscious and decides to go the route of begging for his life and trying to ingratiate himself after Mobei-jun wakes up instead, which is a much trickier process. He says it himself, that Mobei-jun is his ideal, that he embodies everything Shang Qinghua wants to be, that etc. And that's hilarious and all, especially in light of the eventual romance and the clownery it takes to get there, but in classic svsss fashion, it also becomes a lot sadder when you add up all the pieces and see everything Shang Qinghua hates about himself.

In some ways he's an even more avoidant narrator than Shen Qingqiu, he deflects and jokes like a motherfucker, so it really is a matter of assembling all the pieces and seeing where there are gaps. But what really underscored the connection for me was Mobei-jun's reaction to parental neglect. Because that's what pushed Shang Qinghua into being an author in the first place, his parents divorced and remarried and kinda just.... forgot about him.

Mobei-jun's dad doesn't exactly do that, but he is operating without a mom in the picture, and rather than remarrying, he just chooses to ignore the thing where his shitty brother is persistently trying to kill his son. That really sucks! But Mobei-jun never shows the smallest hint of weakness or vulnerability over this, even when it would have really helped to use his words, like 'hi my uncle is coming to kill me and i trust you to protect me.' He's everything cool, aloof, arrogant, proud, all a bunch of adjectives that really do not apply to Shang Qinghua. Mobei-jun honestly looks like a boring character if you just stick to the main story, because he's so self-contained and controlled. Compare and contrast to Shang Qinghua, who accidentally outs himself as a transmigrator like two minutes after showing up and proceeds to be hilarious for the rest of the book.

(Brief aside to say that I don't think Mobei-jun is necessarily a happier or healthier person for all of this, lmao. The conversation that fawn reaction thing came from was talking about freeze (tee hee) versus fawn in response to threats or stressful situations. But that goes along with the svsss theme of people used to engaging with this universe as a fictional property coming to terms with the depth and complexity of other people's emotions and not just seeing them as simplistic not-real characters in a book)

(Additionally, this makes the ship hilarious as a take on 'opposites attract,' but also it gives me actual Emotions that Shang Qinghua's ideal who he wishes he could be, purely incidentally, he is able to value and love Shang Qinghua in a way that Shang Qinghua can't and doesn't seem to totally understand)

And what's very interesting here. Is that Shang Qinghua made these two characters, Luo Binghe and Mobei-jun. His protagonist ultimately reflects a lot of his own vulnerabilities and insecurities (secretly and quietly in pidw, much more.... overtly in svsss), and Mobei-jun corrects for his vulnerabilities and insecurities. He's the person Shang Qinghua wishes he could be, which is basically... the opposite of Shang Qinghua, to an almost comical degree. And he then gives Mobei-jun the VERY BEST plot armor he can devise. It's hard for a male character to exist near a stallion protagonist without getting swept up in rivalries/suspicions/etc and getting killed by the protagonist, but he makes sure that his favorite character is safe from these things. He's protecting the character he wishes he could be from the character whose faults most reflect his own. That is very sweet and weird and sad, and that's very reflective of the svsss experience, I think.

[elrielffs]

the way people downplay azriel and try to up lucien is so funny to me. this fandom babies lucien so much, i literally cannot. why are we acting like lucien is innocent? he isnt.

I have no idea. I think Eluciens or Lucien fans really cling to that first book version of Lucien and yah, he was interesting in that book, flaws and trying to send Feyre into a trap to kill her and all and had some great scenes UTM.

But imo he becomes such a non-character and plot device afterwards. SJM does not give him any major scenes and packs him off out of the plot--no chemistry scenes with Elain (him figuring out she's a Seer etc would have been a BIG moment for them, especially after Madja stating a mate would know what's wrong, but that's given to Azriel), no major scenes with Feyre that is not a means to move the plot forward, not a major player in the Meeting with the High Lords, the only thing he gets to do is go look for Vassa and I've seen Eluciens and stans opine that his big moment of returning with ships and an army was taken by Archeron Papa in ACOWAR.

And yeah, that's very telling that the culmination of his contribution to the story is given a grand entrance/reveal to another character. And SJM didn't just forget about him in that moment.

After that, Lucien is packed up and sent away again out of the narrative. Even though we don't see a majority of characters or Elain in ACOSF it would still mean something if we knew Lucien was actually there but he isn't. It's like SJM really can't be bothered with him atm.

This is my personal opinion but SJM writes Lucien post-ACOTAR with no flavor. Idk if she lost interest or just transferred that to Eris but like...

And as for Lucien beating Azriel in a Blood Duel? Absolutely not. Azriel trains if not every day, then weekly. Azriel uses his skills frequently. Lucien has sat in the Spring Court and gets winded going on a hike. Even with his supposed powers as a High Lord's son...Azriel was able to topple Eris so that's a no go as well. There's no version where Lucien beats Azriel on Azriel's worst day and Lucien's best. Rhysand even states that Azriel is almost as powerful as him and Rhysand is the most powerful High Lord ever.

Also...Azriel would never had sat by and let Jurian make a rape joke about Elain, mate or not. For all people go on how "gentlemanly" and "good" Lucien is...

And despite all what I typed, I don't hate Lucien. I'm just firmly neutral on him as SJM hasn't done anything with him truly after ACOTAR. People say Elain is boring but Lucien is truly, truly the most boring character in the series for me and the sad thing is, there are things to work with there, there are things SJM could have done but she didn't. (Jesminda, the Autumn Court, how he's supposedly a sly fox, his Human Land travels, his Jerry Springer daddy trouble)

If Lucien was a spice, he would be flour.

[markantonys]

In the books Rand completely rejects his Aiel heritage. Jordan seemed to be going with telling the story of an adopted kid who decided only his adopted family mattered. But that's not the only way to tell that story so the show has the opportunity to do something different there if they want to. My preference would be not to have Rand reject his Aiel heritage but to refuse to abandon his Andoran heritage/Two Rivers upbringing. The Aiel canonically want him to become fully Aiel so for him to refuse to give up part of himself could be another way to frame it . They also resent the fact that Rand is only half Aiel and wasn't born in the Waste so they could do more of that imo

i'm trying to think of a useful response but my brain is too occupied by the sudden realization of the Bi Metaphor of rand being too aiel to fit in with wetlanders and too wetlander to fit in with aiel hahaha

anyway, from what i can remember, i don't know if i would say rand *completely* rejects his aiel heritage in the books (at least until the point when RJ himself shuffled the aiel off to the side in general because he wanted to play with the seanchan instead). i may be misremembering but i think rand DOES put in genuine effort to learn about aiel ways, but is just really bad at it and gets easily frustrated with trying to keep track of all the intricacies (which is completely understandable, especially since the aiel are making very little effort to adapt to HIS culture or meet him in the middle). and he IS curious about shaiel and janduin and is emotionally affected by hearing about them from the wise ones, even if he ultimately decides that tam and kari are his true parents (as he should! like you say, it's a great repudiation of the "blood family>adopted family" trope that is so prevalent in media and especially in fantasy where the Normie Adopted Family so often gets swept aside once the hero finds out about their Super-Special Secret Birth Family.)

and he knows that he needs to *be seen* adapting to aiel culture in some way in order to get the aiel's support, which is another interesting wrinkle in the whole situation, because his public behavior and his internal feelings are not necessarily aligned (i'm thinking of the alcair dal scene where i think all those lines about tam being his real father are just in his head as he's talking aloud to the aiel about being janduin's son). i'm not bothered by that sort of "i need to publicly buy into my aiel heritage but in my heart it's not who i am" attitude because i think it's pretty realistic for his situation. and maybe he starts shifting from "i just need to be seen doing this for political reasons" over to "i genuinely do respect aiel culture and want to learn about it, even if i'll never consider it MY culture" as he gets emotionally closer with aviendha and some of the other aiel.

but at the end of the day, while i like the aiel and find their culture interesting, i'm not nearly as invested in them as i get the sense many WOT fans are haha (see: me finding the glass columns sequence quite boring and being utterly bamboozled to discover that most readers list it as one of the best scenes in the series) and so i just don't feel very strongly about what route the show takes re: rand's relationship with aiel culture and his aiel heritage. and also probably have a fuzzy memory on a lot of the book details on this topic!

[ananke-xiii]

(this post doesn't really have a point, just fyi lol)

i've never been a science fiction fan until recently so i'll probably say some stuff and people will be "she's so ignorant" and perhaps they'll be right but i've gotta say it:

time travels in fiction are both super-interesting and extremely boring in the sense that ultimately they all seem to agree on the principle that the past cannot be changed while the future can be re-written and i'm like: meh. what if it's the future that cannot be changed while the past can be? or, better, what if it's the future that controls the narrative of the past? and what about time travellers? all these characters travelling through time and that doesn't change them. like, they're not exactly affected by it. they're still the same.

i remember once i was in middle school and my class went to a conference about i don't remember what and one person at the conference told us a story about an astronaut coming back home from space and the wife was terrified because it was him but it wasn't him at the same time. he was transformed.

it was an amazing horror story. i don't know if it's from a book or a real fact or what but this little story has stuck with me ever since.

so for instance the spn episode "as time goes by" is kinda cool because it takes a different view on the grandfather paradox since it's the grandafather travelling through time to the future rather than his nephews to the past.

however, novikov self-consistency principle is still respected precisely because the grandfather cannot go back in time and change it, aka grandpa must die.

now, if you consider that ultimately spn takes the god is author route you kinda have to make the assumption that it's not the past that matters but the future. as in: god has a planned future that he can never really write and this is what influences the narrative (the past). the story keeps changing and modifying itself because it doesn't want that telos, that future and in this light apocalypse would never happen in spn because the narrative rejects what is supposed to be written but it's never written because they keep changing the script.

this means that henry winchester going back in time would not change the narrative since the telos is already in god's mind and chuck would bend multiple rules and change worlds just to see his future really happening.

so dean and sam preventing henry from going back to john really means that they are the ones who have condemned their father to be fatherless with no real reason because they would be born no matter what (as per god's planned story that he couldn't really write but that he kept editing).

also, all stories seem to tend to a telos, to that ending that's so difficult to write so if you want to feel edgy you use a cycle-structure and you go back to square one but is this fair? (i ask myself while writing something having the cycle-structure in mind, btw i keep writing this cause i don't know the english word for it but i mean a story that has the shape of a cycle lol). this seems to convey the following message: we can't change the past AND we can't write the future we want THEREFORE we will just repeat the past but we will use different ingredients. Or, we will write an unsatisfying ending where everybody is unrealistically happy or conveniently dead.

it seems to me that the past can't be changed because we think it can can't be changed and so the stories are always the same and we keep re-telling them because we're not getting what they want to tell us. i think they're telling us that we can change them, they are actually there to be changed. like, the past wants to be changed.

the grandpa wants to go back in time and be with his son, let him go!!!

(woah. this is a convoluted post. if you're still here i think we can be friends)

[gday-gecko]

read another stupid book 😭😭 god of fury by rina kent. (SPOILERS!!!)

Stupid, terrible book. Okay let's go.

There were so many repeated phrases like "prim and proper" and "fucked-up brain". I was already bored of Brandon and his "fucked-up brain" on page 19. Be a bit more creative, please. You don't have to bash me over the head with it.

The dialogue was SO unrealistic, like, people don't say these things??? Especially Clara. I get that she's supposed to be unliked, but that doesn't mean you can't make her at least talk normally. 😭 And the nicknames. "Lotus flower" sounds stupid, I don't care what anyone says. Yes, with their dynamic, Nikolai would give Brandon a nickname, but it doesn't have to be so fucking stupid. Plus, not everyone needs one—you don't have to get a nickname out of every name out there.

The smut was okay (that's a lie, no it wasn't, I nearly cried every time). (Also the dirty talk sucked.) (And boarder-line dubcon several times...)

She screams so loud, Dad shows up at the doorway, but he doesn't make a move. No, he just watches his son and his future son-in-law take the life of a woman and smiles.

I feel like that really captures the whole essence of the book... Just the mysoginy in these "dark romances", you know? (I know Grace was a bad person but the way it's said.)

Nikolai. He wasn't funny, everything that he did/said made me cringe so hard, it was gross. You can have manic or "insane" characters without them sounding fucking stupid. And WHY did he have to name his dick and TALK TO IT LIKE IT WAS SENTIENT WTH (plus discribing him like that when he's five?? ick). He just pissed me off so much. Brandon I disliked only slightly less.

For a book about "want" and "violence" and all those dark things, it didn't seem to show it. I felt like there was a lot of tell and not showing going on. The descriptions of Brandon's mental health could have been sooo much more graphic instead of using the same phrase over and over. And put some more feeling into it. How did Brandon and Nikolai actually feel. I could have written this so much better. Angst? Easy. (I have done it, it was so much fun.) (I am actually tempted to rewrite the goddamn thing.)

There was also just a general lack in character interactions. I didn't know Mia was Deaf until 75% of the way through. I feel like that's an important detail. (TBF, I do miss things but it should be clear enough that I can't miss it.) And Brandon and Lan's supposedly "great and loving" twin relationship? Is the relationship in the room with us? Just. Character interactions are fun. You get to show people's dynamics and make silly jokes and things. Plus you kinda need it for a story...

Also. What is it with these people and their cousins. I can't remember who's related to who and, not gonna lie, it's starting to sound incestuous.

Waste of my time.

this is basically word-for-word my storyboard review

I was looking at Goodreads reviews, and the amount of people that gave it 5 stars and said this was their first mlm 😭😭 Go read some good old AO3 smut, please.

And I was telling my mum about it (excluding some details, of course, like the TOTALLY UNNECESSARY amounts of smut) and she said, "Even I'm finding this book annoying, and I haven't even read it." (direct quote lol)

Genuinly this could have been such an interesting idea but it's just not executed properly.

My sincerest apologies to AFTG, but it does kind of remind me of it. I don't really know, just the manic behaviour of Andrew and Nikolai (yes, they are for different reasons) and mafia stuff, but I could never bring AFTG that low.

[theicarusconstellation]

TELL ME ABOUT DUNE ALIA ATREIDES DUNE just anything I just need to read more about it I'm brainhungry

OH MY GOD OKAY OKAY OKAY FJSJSKNDNF

THANK YOU FOR ASKING ME PLEASE ASK ME ABOUT DUNE ANY TIME THAT GOES FOR EVERYBODY

SO. ALIA.

my poor girl was doomed from the START from CONCEPTION😭😭😭😭once jessica drank the water of life, alia’s fate was pretty much sealed.

it’s so fucking tragic to think about her relationship to jessica and paul. jessica loved her kids, truly, she did, and we see it in how she cares for paul and alia throughout the first book, even after paul thinks, my mother has become my enemy. and yet. even before paul was born, jessica has been motivated by selfishness. she defied the bene gesserit and bore a son instead of a daughter to make leto (and herself) happy, thus damning paul to the fate of the kwisatz haderach. she drank the water of life and took on the role of the fremen reverend mother while pregnant to help implement the bg’s plans (and her own plans) even though she knew what it would do to her unborn daughter. from that point on, alia was sentient. she had the memories of billions within her fighting to gain control.

for the first few years of her life, she had a very distinct sense of self. she and paul, despite their age difference, loved each other SO MUCH😭😭😭😭there’s this one quote from dune messiah where reverend mother mohaim says, “who could understand but the sister?” in reference to paul’s struggles, and yeah. they understood one another in a way no one else could.

she had a sweet family dynamic with harah, jamis’ wife and paul’s eventual servant. their moment together in the first book is honestly the most open declaration of familial love we ever see in the books (“i love you, harah.” FUCKING RUINS ME), and right after that, alia snuggles up to jessica and takes comfort in her mother (she was so young she just wanted her MOM😭). like yeah she has many different memories within her that are not the memories of a child, but she, alia atreides, was still a child. and i know brian herbert and kevin j. anderson’s books are…certainly something😐but there’s a moment between alia and irulan in paul of dune where irulan tells alia, “you deserve to have a childhood too” and that just BREAKS ME because she never got one. since birth, she was treated like a freak and knew it. she literally said, “i know i’m a freak.” (she was like TWO when she said this MY BABY😭). when paul’s jihad was going on, she was running arrakis in his place as a CHILD. she had so much wisdom and knowledge and did an amazing job, but underneath that, you do see that she was a literal baby.

once she hit about four years old, jessica left her on arrakis. jessica went back to caladan and reverted back to her old bene gesserit ways, living in fear and disgust of the children she created. the children she once loved so. much. are now her biggest regrets, and we see this when she visits alia in children of dune and literally hesitates to call her “daughter.” once she admits it, there’s an understanding between alia and jessica that they are still family, but the “…daughter” DOESNT HURT ANY LESS.

then dune messiah comes around. she’s ≈ sixteen and already regarded as a demigoddess by the people of arrakis and has a little mini-cult surrounding her. she is paul’s closest confidante (some may argue that it’s chani, but i say again, “who could understand but the sister?”). she’s “saint alia of the knife” for a reason too. her fremen upbringing + her genetics make her incredibly skilled, so much so that breaking records is second-nature to her. however, as paul’s state declines, so does hers.

(WHO. COULD. UNDERSTAND. BUT. THE. SISTER.)

she starts slipping into spice trance, letting ancestors converse with her for longer periods of time. she’s argumentative and so, so lost. when duncan idaho’s ghola is given to paul, this 35+ year-old zombie man sees this 16 year-old and is like “yeah i’m gonna get up on that,” so he and alia get into a “relationship” that my poor girl didn’t know any better than to accept.

i think the start of her breaking point came when paul lost his sight. up until then, they had understood one another as easily as breathing, like those saplings that grow next to each other and end up twisting around one another (or turning into one tree). but when paul comes back blind yet still able to see, he knows she’s scared of him, and an irreparable rift develops right then and there (i pretend this doesn’t happen for my mental health).

once paul wandered into the desert, alia was gone. her sense of self and grasp on reality went right with him. he was the only one who didn’t live in fear of her, the only one who she ever felt truly loved by, who didn’t put her on a divine pedestal she didn’t want, who she could TRUST😭

this fucking monologue from messiah guts me inside:

“i wish i could burn this thing out of me…but i’m sister to an emperor who is worshipped as a god. people fear me. i never wanted to be feared. i don’t want to be part of history; i just want to be loved. and love.”

WHO!! COULD!! UNDERSTAND!! BUT!! THE!! SISTER!!!!!!!!!!!

the (almost) last things we hear her say in messiah are literally, “duncan, duncan, he’s [paul’s] gone! i need you duncan, love me!”

then, children of dune occurs. it’s nine years after paul wandered into the desert, AND ALIA STILL WEARS YELLOW, THE FREMEN COLOR OF MOURNING. she hates him and loves him and hates him and loves him and can’t stay out of a possessed trance for more than five minutes. rather than help her as the people around her notice her falling victim to the voices inside her, they ice her out, even her former lover, and call her abomination, trying to send her to her death and looking upon her with disgust. leto ii and ghanima, who she raised since birth, have no sympathy for her.

the only person we really see her close with is irulan tbh. which like. oh i love their dynamic. they went from being curt and uncaring with one another in messiah to being one another’s only comfort in children (for irulan loved paul too). still, irulan distances herself the more wrapped up in her own head alia becomes. when jessica returns to arrakis, she does nothing but stand by (and encourage alia’s execution) as she watches her daughter slip away as a result of her selfish choices!!

after alia finds out paul is alive, god there is so much conflict going on within her. the last time she saw him, they loved one another with a love that was more than love, but now, he’s preaching that everything they’ve built is a blasphemy and alia should be overthrown. she wants him dead but she wants him alive but she wants him dead but she wants him alive and she wants to see him but she hopes it isn’t him but she wants to see him. her big brother.

when she finally does see him, he looks her in the eyes and calls her a blasphemy.

then, paul is stabbed. alia watches him die, and to me, that is when the last string within her finally snaps. she turns to jessica and shouts, “that was paul they just killed!”

so many voices fight to overtake her, including her grandfather, baron harkonnen, who had been possessing her up until this point, but she is just so, so tired and so hurt and so unloved that she can’t do it anymore. she doesn’t even bother to fight. she jumps to her death and does not scream on the way down.

and this is what gets me too. we know it was her decision, the last decision she ever got to make of her own volition, and it was one of self-destruction. the baron was screaming at her not to do it — everyone else watched as it happened — but she did it anyway, and honestly, she found more peace in death than she ever did in life.

god i could talk about her for hours i love her so much she’s my girl my love i need to wrap her (and paul) up in little blankets and hold them so close.

also there is just…something about jessica watching both her children die in front of her. and the comparison she made in the first book when alia walks into her room and she thinks, “she reminds me of paul at that age” with both their big, curious eyes and quiet mannerisms and OH😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[alphaakaza]

fight so dirty

Kimetsu Academy history teacher Rengoku Kyojuro never disappointed. His classes were beloved by all, and his methods were unorthodox - he believed learning solely from books alone was tiresome and promised disinterest, especially from the young folk of today. Lessons were as hands-on and physical as the school would allow - having the rowdy and excitable teenagers reenact scenes of war, protest, and other historical events (as safely as possible), so the children could experience firsthand what it could be to live through such times. 

And in that spring, with the weather so pleasant, Rengoku often took them out on field trips - like the one they were on at the moment.

A flock of over 20 teenagers trailed behind the sunset-haired teacher like baby ducks, followed by a chaperone - teacher Kanroji. They were making their way to Keizo's dojo, a martial arts school that taught an old, near-dying style of jiu-jitsu. 

They were welcomed in by a small, pale young woman who introduced herself as Koyuki, the dojo owner's daughter; she first took them to the lockers, where they all changed into keikogi, including the two teachers. Koyuki led them inside and showed them to the mats on the floor where they could all sit in front of the teacher.

The brunet man sitting in seiza in front of them was far younger than the one Rengoku made all the plans and arrangements with, and he quickly realized he must be the son-in-law master Keizo had mentioned.

"Welcome to Keizo's dojo, we're honored to host you all," the young man spoke, bowing stiffly (Rengoku made notice of Koyuki giggling softly at this). "I'm Hakuji, master Keizo's apprentice and a teacher here. I will be in charge of today's lesson in Master Keizo's stead, since he is bedridden with a minor cold."

At this, Rengoku shouted: "WE SHALL BE IN YOUR CARE!"

His students echoed the sentence, though far less ear-piercingly. 

The history of Soryū, the jiu-jitsu style Keizo taught, went back over 400 years in the past, and though Hakuji had began explaining it a little bit choppily and awkwardly, he quickly gained steam and went over the details he knew with a lot of passion - seemingly, this was a subject he was extremely interested in. 

The oral introduction to the style wasn't supposed to be long - master Keizo understood Rengoku's methods and agreed for the lesson to be more physical - but the young brunet was so enthralled by the subject that he accidentally spent way too much time going over the style theory vocally. Rengoku felt terrible interrupting, though - and to him, it WAS quite interesting -, so the one to stop him was Koyuki.

"Dear... don't forget the lesson plan!" the young woman reminded him in her soft tone, smiling sympathetically.

"Ah...!" Hakuji flushed and flailed a little. "My apologies! I hope I didn't bore you all..."

One of the students was smacked awake by another. Rengoku tried to distract the teacher from the disheartening sight. "Not at all! It was all so interesting! However, it would certainly be nice to move onward with the actual lessons!"

And, just as he finished saying that, the sound of doors opening and closing was heard from outside, as well as some muffled shouts of, "Keizo!? You there!?" Koyuki mumbled, "Oh, that must be him!", quickly walked to the door and left.

Hakuji grumbled and sighed. "That is... Master Keizo's special guest. Master decided it would be a good idea to have him demonstrate Soryū with me," by the slightly annoyed look on his face, it was obvious the brunet was not happy with this. "Hope that is fine with you, professor Rengoku!"

Rengoku wanted to say yes, but he was interrupted when the sliding door was nearly slammed open and-

A near-identical copy of teacher Hakuji clamorously stormed in.

All the students, Kanroji and Rengoku gasped, oh-ed and WAH?!-ed. Some of his rowdier students even screamed - specifically, Agatsuma and Hashibira. The boy with the boar hat jumped to his feet and pointed excitedly at the stranger.

"IT'S FUCKING AKAZA! MMA LEGEND AKAZA!"

Rengoku had no time to restrain him because the same brown haired boy that had smacked his classmate awake now bonked Hashibira on the head and forced him back on the floor. 

The attention was quickly back on the stranger and Hakuji - all eyes  boggling back and forth from the two, astonished by the uncanny similarity. Their faces and builds were identical - both pale and very fit, with powerful arms and legs, yet gentle, beautiful faces, highlighted by very long and light-colored eyelashes - and the only things that differentiated them physically were the stranger's ear piercings and hair, which was dyed a soft pink. 

Teacher Hakuji, already on his feet the second his pink-haired doppelgänger walked in, was standing next to him with an expression mix of annoyed and apologetic. With a sigh, he spoke:

"...this is Akaza, Keizo's special guest. He and I joined this dojo at the same time, and we have a similar level in Soryū, which-"

"You're just gonna skim over what's boggling their minds, huh?" this Akaza interrupted rudely and turned to the class with a toothy grin. "Hi, I'm his identical twin~ I'll be in your care~ sorry my little brother is such a stick in the mud~"

Hakuji gasped. "I'm not a-! You-! I'm only 5 minutes younger! How-" the brunet grumbled and shook his head, exhaling to try and calm himself down. "Anyway- Akaza and I are going to demonstrate Soryū, and once you all understand it, we can do some rounds with the students like we promised, professor Rengoku." 

When Rengoku exclaimed a resounding, "YES!", he noticed Akaza's eyes were trained on him. The pink haired man grinned and made a small gesture of "hello", which the teacher responded to with a small nod. 

Akaza left for a minute to change into keikogi to match his brother, and when he came back a few of the students (and Mitsuri, again) OOOOH-ed lowly - now that Akaza was wearing slightly shorter sleeves, the tattoos on both of his arms were visible. 

They were dark blue, armband type tattoos, and Rengoku could swear he remembered them from somewhere. The man sporting them smirked at the spectators' reactions, showing them off not-so-subtly by crossing his arms over his meaty chest. 

Hakuji tsk-ed and made to kick his twin on the back of his shin, which Akaza quickly avoided, and deflected with his own foot.

Without any introduction or preparations, the men began sparring - though, to Rengoku, it seemed more like a genuine fight. 

Both men's movements were fluid and fast, and whether it was because they knew each other well enough, or the genuine talent in their fighting style, they were always one step ahead of each other - almost always predicting their opponent's attacks to shield themselves from a blow. 

Hakuji, Rengoku noticed, put more emphasis on his leg and foot attacks, often managing to land kicks to Akaza's back and shins, which the pink-haired man often left unguarded. But despite this, Akaza was still landing more debilitating hits - punching Hakuji on his weaker points with his powerful fists, which seemed like they could punch through concrete.

The session ended when Hakuji fell to the mat floor, pinned by the chest by Akaza's arm after a kick to his legs. The brunet all but growled in frustration at having to tap out and admit defeat, yet he had to show an honorable loss to the students. 

Sitting back down in his previous seiza position (albeit a lot more disheveled and out of breath), Hakuji addressed the students and teachers before him. 

"That was our demonstration of Soryū,” he panted out, and brushed some sweaty hair out of his face. “Now, with professor Rengoku's help, please partner up in pairs, and I shall teach you some basic moves."

Rengoku shot up to his feet in excitement. "That was amazing! You two are amazing! Thank you for the demonstration!"

Saying this, he urged all his students to pick a friend to spar against, unaware of a certain pair of hazel - near golden - eyes following his moves intently, curiously.

The boar hat boy - Hashibira - was disgruntled. "I don't wanna partner up with these weaklings!" He almost roared. Then, he pointed at Akaza yet again, this time challengingly. "Fight me, Akaza! I only fight against the strongest!"

Mitsuri flailed, trying to apologize to the man while also reeling the student in. "Ino-! My sincerest apologies, Mr. Akaza- You can't just challenge professional fighters like that, Inosuke-!"

Akaza was very visibly having fun, rocking back and forth on his heels slightly and grinning. "I love your spirit, kid!" He praised. "Unfortunately, you're a little bit too small to be challenging me~ I only pick on people my size!" 

After hearing this, Hashibira went red in the face - whether out of humiliation or ire, nobody was sure - and his challenging stance turned into more of a little tantrum. Rengoku trotted up to him and Mitsuri to try and reason with him. 

"Don't falter, Young Hashibira! Mr. Akaza did say you're almost there in terms of muscle mass and height! You can challenge him again in a couple years!"

As the boar boy slowly - reluctantly - calmed down, the pink haired man hummed in thought, resting his chin on his fist - eyes still watching the history teacher, almost as if scanning him.

"Would the teacher perhaps- Rengoku, was it?- want to go up against me, instead?" Akaza said with a wolfish grin, causing a silence to fall over the dojo. He locked eyes with the man and chuckled. "I would go easy on you, of course."

Rengoku felt a shiver of unknown origin go down his spine. 

Hashibira immediately started urging the blond man on, saying, "defend my honor!" and "you're weaker than me, of course, but you've got the build!" A lot of the students were pumped about it, too - seeing their favorite teacher in a "fight" would probably be a topic of conversation for weeks. It would be legendary.

One student though, Tsuyuri, seemed worried, and, though her voice was very quiet, her best friend Kamado wasn't, and his echoing of her concerns reached everyone's ears.

"Professor Rengoku might get hurt? Wait, don't you know, Kanao...?"

Rengoku interrupted everyone when he laughed and proclaimed, "I accept your challenge, Mr. Akaza!" 

He looked over at Tsuyuri and smiled; he was extremely lucky to have such sweet and concerned students who worried for his safety. He gave her a small thumbs up to reassure her and turned back around to face Akaza, as passionate as ever.

"And, you don't have to go easy on me! I come from a long line of kendo instructors, and I have taken quite a few judo lessons since I was a child - I'm a second dan black belt!" 

This received a chorus of OOOH-s and WAAAH-s from his students. More importantly, though, it got a smirk out of Akaza - one that promised nothing but trouble. 

(Despite himself, Rengoku couldn't deny that made him a trouble-seeker). 

After grumbling at his brother, berating him for being rude towards guests, Hakuji went to direct the pairs of students towards the center of the room to begin teaching them - and Rengoku approached his challenger.

"I'm Rengoku Kyojuro, it's a pleasure meeting you!" Rengoku exclaimed, bowing quickly. "I'm more of a sumo kind of guy, but I've seen you on TV and in the news once or twice, so meeting you is an honor, Mr. Akaza!"

The pink haired man hummed, also bowing... and scanning the man, yet again. As a fighter, seeing men of Rengoku's physique instinctually made him size them up - and as an opponent, he was definitely worth his attention.

"Kyojuro," he tried the name out on his tongue - it felt a lot more natural than Rengoku. He smiled. "Not much of an MMA guy, huh."

Rengoku was shocked at hearing his first name from a stranger. He probably showed it on his face, judging by the warmth that rushed to his cheeks, but he made no comment about it. Strangely, it didn't feel wrong. 

"Now that I know you were trained in Soryū, I will definitely be following your exploits more closely, Mr. Akaza!" 

"You can drop the honorifics," the shorter man chimed in, or rather, interrupted. He didn't care for formality - much less with somebody he was interested in- power-wise, that is, of course, he tried to reassure himself. 

"...Akaza," the teacher corrected himself sheepishly, flustered slightly at the casualness. "Shall we begin our sparring, Akaza?"

The pink haired man grinned from ear to ear, excited, and got into a lower stance, fists forward in a defense position. He urged the teacher to do the same, to make the first move with a taunting cock of the head, eager to figure out what kind of fighter this man was - and if his instincts were right.

Rengoku didn't go for an attack right away, instead the two men slowly stepped in a circle, calculating; Akaza, the blond’s first move, and the teacher how to get through that air tight defense he witnessed in the brothers’ sparring. The pink haired man’s stance was low and guarded; like a fortress, and Rengoku was looking for an in to break it down.

When the first move finally came, the fight was on and fast like two animals in the wild - instinct, raw strength and experience meshing into one. The teacher first feinted and immediately went for Akaza’s leg, knocking him off balance and gripping him by his robe, attempting a throw to the ground. The professional fighter quickly defended himself, getting the hands off in a swift movement and kicking Rengoku away, directly in the chest. 

As the blond caught his breath, Akaza lunged with an assault of punches which Rengoku blocked with his arms, wincing and grunting at every hit. 

When Akaza stopped for just a second to redirect the blows to his sides, the teacher immediately seized his opportunity to trap the other man in a headlock; despite his precarious place underneath a heavier man, he nonetheless managed to quickly turn around until he was straddling his back, and still choking him out. 

He thought to himself that he had been right to assume the pro seemed to leave his neck and back unguarded most of the time, and a rush of excitement washed over him. Not every day did he get to overpower an MMA champion.

Almost subconsciously, he realized the students had stopped what they were doing to look, in awe at their seemingly goofy teacher managing to put down someone like Akaza. If he looked back, he would've also noticed Hakuji, slack jawed at the sight.

But he was taken out of those thoughts as he flew head first to the matted floor, knocking his face against it roughly and screaming in pain. Akaza had made a quick movement upwards with his entire lower body that he had too distracted to predict. Dazed from the pain and surprise, he couldn't even defend when the other man grabbed his arm and held it against his back. With his other powerful, calloused palm, he was now retaliating and choking him instead. 

His initial adrenaline filled pride washed away by an intense feeling of humiliation. 

After a couple futile attempts at breaking out of the lock, he growled low in the back of his throat, and slapped the mat with his free hand. 

“I give!”

His arm was let go, but the hand around his neck only released the hold after a couple seconds, and he could’ve sworn he heard the pink-haired man chuckle, or maybe even coo, when he finally did. 

(That definitely also fed into his humiliation, but, for some reason, for a second, he felt butterflies in the pit of his stomach at it.)

The rest of the class transpired quickly and without any bumps in the road; though he did receive a lot of flack from the Hashibira boy about losing. His other students, though, clamored and congratulated him in putting up such a good fight. Even Hakuji gave him a subtle thumbs up when nobody was watching. 

Through it all, he fervently avoided looking Akaza in the eye. He had bowed to him after getting up from the fight, and admitted to his strength. Rengoku was a mature adult, but something about this man, and this fight, had left his entire head and body in disarray. 

But, on a subconscious level, he felt as though meeting that golden gaze would make him spontaneously combust. 

But even so, when the scheduled time of the classes ran its course, the teachers and students bid Hakuji and Akaza goodbye, and followed Koyuki back to the dressers to change back. 

Just as they were opening the doors to leave, they heard loud footsteps making their hurried way towards the entrance/exit area, and a huffing Akaza smacked the door open. 

“Just one second! I’ve got… something for the boar hat boy,” the MMA fighter grinned awkwardly at the teacher, then looked back at the kids and Mitsuri behind him. “Y’all can go ahead, I’ll just take a minute.” 

Rengoku raised an eyebrow but nonetheless turned to him, looking over at Mitsuri and nodding. When they were gone, he finally looked directly into those golden eyes. 

He swallowed down the various feelings that had been smothering him for the past hour. “An autograph, I assume? You could’ve given it to him earlier…!” 

“Huh? Oh,” Akaza fumbled in his sweatpant pockets for a piece of paper. “Yeah, of course. Give me a minute.” 

The professional fighter thoughtlessly handed him the little piece of paper with his signature while still looking for a pen, grabbing a backpack from the floor. He found a small photograph of himself holding a champion’s belt and began scribbling. 

“This one’s for you, though, Kyojuro,” he said, grinning, and gave it to him. 

Rengoku dumbly looked down at the two things in his hands. The piece of paper looked like an old receipt. The photo, though, seemed high quality. Recent. When he turned it around, there was a phone number, and a winky face.

“You’re a damn good fighter, Kyojuro. You should think about becoming a pro… Though, if I can’t fight you in the ring,” he purred, leaning down so he could meet the teacher’s downward gaze, and smirked toothily, “I’d gladly do it somewhere else.” 

With that, the pink haired man twirled around and left, hands in his pockets.

Rengoku wasn't combusting, but he definitely was somewhere close to it. 

He shakily pocketed the picture and made his way outside, ignoring Mitsuri’s questioning gaze when she noticed his burning red cheeks. 

ao3 link | divider credit @benkeibear

[atopvisenyashill]

Top 5 smallfolk characters?

NICE QUESTION!!!!!!!!!!!!

THE COURT ATOP VISENYA'S HILL BABEEEEE. I'm making Sylvie, Essie, and Gaemon all one bullet point here so they don't dominate the whole thing but I love them so so much. The family they build against all odds, the desperate attempt to gain some sort of control over a king’s landing that has descended into chaos, the reforms they attempt to push - and the way their own reforms are SOO popular that it forces the other two Kings to start offering food and safety as well!! - and the sad, tragic end of Essie and Sylvie while poor Gaemon looks on. The way all three are denied dignity even in their dying.

Davos Seaworth. LOOK the rest of the nerds in the fandom can call him boring as much as they want but you will never catch MOI calling our only insight into the smallfolk boring, EYE have class solidarity unlike the rest of these posers. I find him equal parts frustrating and engaging; he is so clear eyed on the moral issues that people face yet covers his own eyes when it comes to Stannis' deficiencies. He is determined, always, to keep going, keep fighting. He's a flawed man with a flawed relationship with his wife and sons but he loves them so dearly, so normally. His greatest achievement is that he learned to read. He is so so dear to me.

Mya Stone. MY GIRRRRRRRRL I love how protective of Alayne Stone she is, I love that she knew she had to figure out how to protect herself and provide for herself and learned how to deal with the mules. I love that she had lofty dreams of marrying so far above her station, I love that she's forcing herselfto take the rejection in stride. I think I want a realistic happy ending for her, but a definitely happy ending - I want her to marry for love, I want her to be safe, I want her to feel fulfilled by her life, because she enjoys living, she doesn't take it for granted!

Shae. SHAE FOREVER AND EVER. I prefer her show counterpart - which, I do think they were trying to imply that she was higher class in Essos but ran away, but whatever, ignoring that - but that's largely because we really get to know Shae herself, through her own eyes. The way she grows to love Sansa, is desperate to protect her even against Tyrion! The way she chooses safety and comfort over love and testifies against Tyrion (the way the actress believed - and I do too!!!! - that she would have chosen Sansa, to protect Sansa, had she not been written by Those Dudes). "Your horse eats better than his children" is just an amazing line and she never lets Tyrion or Sansa forget that even with the troubled lives they've led, the smallfolk have a very good reason to resent them! And book Shae!!! She's just a young girl!!!!! She's a teenager picked out of the crowd by Bronn to be Tyrion's mistress, except she doesn't get to have all the safety and power that usually goes with being a mistress and she can't say no. She tries so hard to see the good in Tyrion, to see the intelligence, to get to know him, and she only stops when he gets physically violent with her. All she wants is safety, stability, and it's all ripped away from her before she's even reached twenty years old. She's treated like a pawn, both versions of her, a piece to be moved about by more important people, but she wasn't a piece, she was a girl, a woman, with her own dreams!

blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hard to narrow it down i’ll say KYRA (with the keys). She’s such an interesting, tragic character to me. The way she maneuvers to be Theon’s mistress, only for her trust in him to be completely betrayed when he assaults her. The way she very smartly realizes she can’t get home without Theon, and manages to rescue him and get SO CLOSE to freedom. She’s very much a quintessential sort of smallfolk character - she tries to rise above her station and is repaid by sexual abuse, literally hunted down for sport and gruesomely murdered. But at every turn, she tries so hard to assert her own agency!

Special mention because i debated that fifth spot a lot but Gendry, Nettles, and Alayaya are very close to my heart as well. I didn’t count the wildlings otherwise Ygritte and OSHA would be number two and three.

[yaeggravate]

What are your thoughts on the seer Kaeya theories that were going around? Cause apparently I have many thoughts that I'm trying to keep from spamming you with lmao basically there's him not being a seer and his network really is that good (but not good enough to tell him about the nations wide treasure hoarder scheme), him being a seer (same issue as before), having only vague premonitions (which is funny cause he uses them as stories to spook kids), or he DOES have seer information it just isnt his own (second hand and why he had to lure out Dain for confirmation). Each have some merits but all still have some pretty glaring issues as well that it's hard to tell which way the story is going to go.

oh i have MANY thoughts about this (warning: it's a long read)

IS KAEYA A SEER?

PART 1: HINTS OF OMNISCIENCE

from the very beginning we are told and shown kaeya is very knowledgeable.

勇敢的小伙子班尼特对这位无所不知的大哥信赖有加. Bennett, a brave young man, has a lot of trust in this big brother who knows everything.

in kaeya's official chinese profile, bennett trusts kaeya as his omniscient big brother.

kaeya's constellation is a peacock. the tailfeathers of peacocks have spots resembling eyes. kaeya's namecard in cn hints at kaeya having many eyes…

孔雀漂亮尾羽上的花纹很像是永不闭上的 眼睛。所以凯亚并非少了一只眼睛,而是 The patterns on the beautiful tail feathers of a peacock resemble eyes that never close. So Kaeya isn't missing an eye, rather... [he has many of them].

fischl's voiceline about kaeya is as follows:

Fischl: His nature is obscure, his fate a mystery, and his speech a vexing tapestry woven of both fact and fiction… Perhaps he and I share the burden of mystical sight…

NOW i want to make it clear that fischl is actually important to understanding kaeya. kaeya is in part based on the indian prince baby from midsummer night's dream. midsummer night's dream in german is mittsommernachtstraum, which is the inspiration behind the name of fischl's princess outfit, immernachtstraum. princess fischl seems to have existed in teyvat, as seen in the description for midsummer courtyard:

With the fall of the ancient lost civilization, the once prosperous and magnificent Sommernachtgarten was also buried underground, leaving only its ancient trees and stones to remember its past glory.

sommernachtgarten is in turn mentioned in the book flowers for princess fischl. this book is published by yae's publishing house just to add more to how suspicious this all is.

what the connection here is, i really cannot say, but for now fischl's voiceline about kaeya should NOT be taken for granted.

PART 2: SEER, POET, KING

let's look into the possible meaning behind the name "kaeya".

MANDATORY DISCLAIMER: there are many possibilities for what "kaeya" might mean so please don't take any of this as fact. however, i have no doubt the creative team are aware of the many meanings behind his name and could possibly be playing around with that. i would too, if i were a writer.

some of sumeru's mythology draws inspiration from the shahnameh, the book of kings, which is a persian epic. in kaeya's hangout he plays prince qubad, opposite frasiyav. i have talked about this before, (see: the bottom reblog) and how i suspect frasiyav might represent irmin. i believe qubad's namesake is either kay qubad or kay qobad. however, the character kaeya is playing is based on siyavash, son of kay kavus, (and future son-in-law of frasiyav 👀 but let's leave that discussion for another time). these are all characters from the shahnameh. siyavash and qobad belong to the kayanians.

KAYĀNIĀN  (Kayanids), in the early Persian epic tradition a dynasty that ruled Iran before the Achaemenids, all of whom bore names prefixed by Kay from Avestan kauui

so, could "kaeya" actually be derived from this dynasty's epithet "kay"? let's take a look at what kauui can mean:

As an epithet of kings and the reason the dynasty is so called, Middle 𐭪𐭣 and New Persian kay(an) originates from Avestan 𐬐𐬀𐬎𐬎𐬌 kavi (or kauui) "king" and also "poet-sacrificer" or "poet-priest".

Kavi is the Indo-Iranian term for “(visionary) poet.”

i'm oversimplifying it but basically kay can stand for seer, poet, king (not to be confused with soldier, poet, king). all of these terms are connected to kaeya.

king: alberich literally means elf king, or ruler of elfs, and kaeya has been foreshadowed to be royalty

poet: kaeya has taken poetry "lessons" from venti and this even comes back up again in his hangout…with venti again

so if we follow the pattern the seer part would also apply to him, right?

Their poems are made by their thoughts (mati, etc.), and they send their “poetic visions” (dhī) into the divine world.

this is very interesting because it reminds me of the venti route in kaeya's hangout titled: Poems Dedicated to the Wind AND of dainsleif's character description. the text is a prophecy in the form of a poem given by a self-proclaimed prophet.

The confluence between the past and future. The original calamity had been overturned, yet the island in the sky set the earth to burn. Chalk pursues gold, in this time inopportune, the eclipse is swallowed by the crimson moon. The future must atone for bygone mistakes, as the bond familiar falters and breaks— of the same blood, elders and the youth… Such is the cycle of the world, in truth. Dain, what is that strand of blonde hair to you? Someone you must kill? Or the object of your penitence? —A self-proclaimed prophet.

now, i'm NOT claiming kaeya wrote this or will say this to dainsleif, but my point is that there is a connection between seers and poetry.

(HOWEVER, the fact that the text refers to dainsleif as dain denotes a friendship between the speaker and dain, (remember dainsleif is literally named after kaeya's sword, there's no way they won't become friends), and self-proclaimed prophet implies the speaker isn't well-established as a prophet yet 👀. furthermore, kaeya references the second part of the prophecy (which is likely about him) in his hangout.

Kaeya: History always repeats itself. Kaeya: Perhaps there's an inept god out there deciding everyone's fates… much like the Akademiya student drafting Darbil's scripts. Kaeya: Yep, "inept" is a good word for it. Honestly, it might even be a little too civil to describe a god who turns fathers against their sons and is bent on endless warmongering… don't you think?)

now, because kaeya tends to lie a lot, it's hard to tell if he's actually good at writing poetry. the poem he wrote to venti sucked major ass, but since kaeya likes to mess with venti bc he knows he's barbatos, this was most likely on purpose.

the talent books kaeya uses are the same as venti's: the ballad books. here's the description for philosophies of ballad:

Poetry is the soul of the land of the wind. Poetry is the manifestations of the desire to spread the word.

SOUNDS AWFULLY SIMILAR TO WHAT WE JUST ESTABLISHED ABOUT "KAY" AND POETIC VISIONS… getting waaay off track here but i think we can safely connect kaeya to seer, poet, king.

PART 3: THE BURDEN OF MYSTICAL SIGHT

bet you're probably thinking, "seer kaeya needs more evidence than hearsay and etymology". let's think back on it: has kaeya ever shown any hints if foresight? well, that's a bit harder to figure out. it certainly does seem as if kaeya knows more than he should. before we go any further, i propose two interpretations of seer: a prophet OR someone who can see beyond the limitations of the world, like a melusine.

alright, let's list all the times kaeya showed off his huge brain:

a) he knows venti is barbatos. to be fair, this isn't that hard to figure out for anyone who looks too closely; venti is complete shit at hiding his identity. but the question of how and when exactly kaeya came to this conclusion remains unanswered.

b) kaeya could sense the abyss mage in the temple of the wolf but the traveler and paimon did not. in the same vein, he could also sense dainsleif spying on him. this might have something to do with the corruption or some type energy inside of them, but who knows, maybe kaeya has eyes in the back of his head. edit: muted-honey pointed out that back in the windblume festival, kaeya could sense a suspicious individual (rosaria) behind him from his right side 😮‍💨

c) kaeya probably knew alice was the one who was behind the golden apple archipelago from the start. also not that hard to figure out, plus he's met her before so he knows what she's like. but then why did he pretend to be in the dark the entire time?

Kaeya: Huh? Did I ever guess what was going on, you ask? Kaeya: Haha… not a chance. I'm much too naive, I was in the dark the whole time.

WHO WOULD EVEN BELIEVE THIS OBVIOUS LIE 😭

d) the tcg cards. hoo boy. kaeya left a deck of cards inside the cat's tail for the traveler to use, apparently he didn't even touch the cards.

Diona: Uh, a customer left it behind a few days ago. But he wasn't even playing the game while he was here. Diona: Eh, it's already been a few days and he still hasn't come back to claim them. Who knows, maybe he left them here on purpose…

this is never explained or brought up again. how did he know the traveler would need a deck of cards??? WHY DID HE EVEN DO THIS???!

e) kaeya knew idyia was an oceanid all along. nothing groundbreaking here, but kaeya's attempts to downplay his perceptiveness is reminiscent of the alice situation.

Kaeya: So our General was the first to notice? It seems like she's more perceptive than she lets on… Eula: I'd say the same about you, Kaeya.

f) kaeya was expecting the the traveler to show up in the caribert quest. this is also never explained or brought up again. he even went so far as to wait every single day for them to show up. this is interesting because it could mean that whatever foresight kaeya received simply isn't detailed enough. think the stone slates from the fontaine prophecy; it only showed the stopping points but not the journey.

g) if you pay close attention, kaeya mentions luck/chance/fate a LOT. especially when he runs into the traveler, like 'how unexpected', 'didn't expect to see you here' etc. i'm not going to go back to collect every instance, but trust me it's enough that it reaches mona levels. even his death voicelines reference this…

Fallen II: That was unexpected…

yeah why was that unexpected kaeya? because you already know you're not supposed to die yet or what?

PART 4: NABU MALIKATA, NICOLE, AND KHAENRI'AH

now let's go back to the kayanians again, because there is something very interesting about them…

The word is also etymologically related to the Avestan notion of kavaēm kharēno, the "divine royal glory" that the Kayanian kings were said to hold.

kavaēm kharēno means khvarenah. the kayanians possess khvarenah! i already go a bit in depth here about the in-game notion of khvarena and how kaeya or his mother could've possessed this.

the tl; dr is that khvarena are born from nabu malikata's body. this was then fashioned into a divine bird which i only recently found out could've been a peacock. (see the post i linked, specifically the addition.)

this is important, not only because kaeya's constellation is a peacock, but because NABU MALIKATA was a prophet, nabu even means prophet!

IF kaeya has the khvarena inside him, could he be able to divine the future as well, albeit to a lesser extent than a visionary?

so that's the nabu malikata of it all, let's move on to nicole. as you know, nicole's teacups are found in dawn winery. i do believe this a deliberate choice: every other witch is given an incredibly elaborate looking teacup but for nicole they chose to reuse the dawn winery teacups.

then they even put kaeya in the same shot with the teacup during his hangout! could not have dropped a bigger hint here!

nicole is a visionary, a guide, a disembodied voice, could it be that she is actually whispering in his ear, occasionally providing him information? it doesn't seem likely as nicole only shows herself when a significant change has occured, but we can't rule out the possibility just yet. or is the teacup simply a hint that like nicole, kaeya is omniscient?

now about khaenri'ah… don't take my word for it but i believe khaenri'ah could be derived from "priestess/priest of the winds" in arabic.

priest of the winds (kahin riah) كاهن رياح priestess of the winds (kahinat riah) كاهنة رياح

most likely they chose this because of the anemoi gods (the cardinal winds) being attested as "priestess/prophetess of the winds" in mycenaean-greek.

The earliest attestation of the word in Greek and of the worship of the winds by the Greeks, are perhaps the Mycenaean Greek word-forms 𐀀𐀚𐀗𐀂𐀋𐀩𐀊, a-ne-mo-i-je-re-ja, 𐀀𐀚𐀗𐄀𐀂𐀋𐀩𐀊, a-ne-mo,i-je-re-ja, i.e. "priestess of the winds".

it says priestess but ijereja can also mean PROPHETESS. does this also not remind you of what we discussed before, of the poems/visions written to the wind?

khaenri'ah does have connections to divination. king irmin is based on odin. odin hung himself from the world tree yggdrasil to gain extensive knowledge about the world, sacrificing his eye in the process. the description for the quest item silver twig references this legend;

"Trees" also symbolize wisdom. In one of the legends, a sage hanging upside down on a tree had acquired the knowledge of how to inscribe runes and control sacred words, and thus followed the kingdom established along the tree's roots, eventually gaining a glimpse of the secret of the cosmos.

now based on what we know of odin, i think this sage was irmin and not deshret. HOWEVER, we should take note of how the sage's gender is made unclear… 👀 in any case, this makes it likely irmin posesses foresight, or at least acquired the means to divination. is kaeya covering his eye a hint that he's in a similar situation?

looking at the other khaenri'ahns we have in game, it seems pierro is also quite knowledgeable. however, one explanation could be that he's using columbina to divine the future since she's a seelie like nabu malikata.

dainsleif claims to have knowledge of fate itself and i think it has to do with the blue irminsul lines on his body… these lines resemble the branches of irminsul and the dragon queller, azhdaha's tail. in the description for the dragon-queller, they call this energy moonlight.

A strange tree whose branches flow with clear, cold moonlight.

we've established kaeya attracts crystalflies towards him, and crystalflies are drawn to elemental energy and leylines… should be noted that a TON of crystalflies can be found in the vourukasha oasis, which is filled with khvarena. if dainsleif is infused with this irminsul "moonlight", could kaeya also possess this then?

if he does could this be why he has extensive knowledge of many things? why he could sense dainsleif and the abyss mage? why he was placed in mondstadt (moon city)?

back to your original question: is kaeya a seer? let's review the evidence presented to us:

characters call him omniscient or suspect he is

kaeya's name could mean seer

kaeya is VERY observant, to the point where it seems like he has 4D vision, but attempts to downplay it

kaeya is connected to several important figures who are prophets

that being said, i can't confidently say kaeya is a seer… but based on all of this, it would be pretty weird if he wasn't.

[cangrellesteponme]

OCTOBER 30TH - IDENTITY

(read this on AO3 here)

dadbastian week day two let's gooo (on time!!)

this one… idk we get some modern au silliness with an alois guest appearance (and claude, i guess??? he's just mentioned and he does not matter at all lmao) in which ciel is sebastian's… adoptive son????? idk either i'm making shit up as i go!! anyway.

in which ciel, a very annoying eight-year-old boy, realises he kind of wants to be a certain someone's very annoying eight-year-old son.

enjoy!

“Ciel, your… guardian is here?” the new lady says, and Ciel thinks she’s weird for the seventh time that day, but he gets his backpack and politely says goodbye anyway.

School is… not very nice. Mey-Rin often tells him that if he has nothing nice to say he shouldn’t say anything at all — but Ciel can tell she’s only trying to be a good adult, because she always says it in her Good And Serious Adult voice — and Bard says that’s bullshit, and Ciel likes the sounds of that a lot more.

So, school is not very nice and very much bullshit. It’s a big word, so Ciel keeps it in his little head and never lets it leave his mouth. Eight might be big — not that big, but he sure isn’t a baby — but Ciel still is not allowed to swear. Not that he thinks Sebastian would ever let him, even if he approves of mischief way too much to be a Good And Serious Adult. Ciel thinks he is a bit evil, even if he’s nice and responsible or whatever-the-word-is.

Maybe that’s why he’s Ciel’s guardian. Even though no one ever calls him that, because saying your legal guardian instead of your adult like a normal person is like saying good morning to a friend when hello is right there. But the new lady — still undeserving of the title of “teacher” — is weird, obviously, and Ciel tells Sebastian all about it as soon as he is at the gates.

“Names don’t matter, little one,” he simply says. “I could be anything, really.”

He says it in that Very Sebastian Tone that means tiny words are being used for big things, and Ciel doesn’t get it. He’s a little annoyed by Sebastian’s sebastianing, so he looks away from him and turns back to the school.

Today, he has to wait a little at the gate. Ciel would say he is very patient — no one agrees with him but it’s fine because he’s right anyway — and the wait is worth it for one reason: he’s going to have a sleepover with Alois, whose father always shows up a minute ahead of being late. The sleepover mostly consists of them sort of being around each other in the garden for a bit, then having dinner, then late conversations in Ciel’s bedroom long past their usual bedtime — gossip, Sebastian says, intel gathering, Ciel corrects — until they eventually fall asleep.

Ciel feels ecstatic. It’s a big word — one he’s very proud of learning.

Of course, he does not show it one bit, because why would he, and he is also very patient in the car.

As soon as they’re home, Alois all but drags Ciel to the garden while Sebastian stays inside with the other boy’s father. Claude is a weird adult. Putting him and Sebastian in the same room is even weirder, really. They always look like they’re about to fight but all they do is play chess and say words Ciel barely understands in a tone he can’t recognise at all.

(Later, he will understand that they are very pettily exchanging passive-aggressive remarks like the bored and evil old creatures they are, trying to one-up each other with more and more sophisticated ways of saying “you’re an ugly, untalented bitch”. Thankfully, eight-year-old Ciel does not know the word “bitch” yet.)

It’s easier to just go to the garden and let the adults be weird in their little corner. Ciel’s company is much more fun, anyway.

Some of the teachers say Alois is rowdy. Ciel disagrees. The other rowdy kids play football and fight in the mud and throw books around, but Alois — though he does some of those things because Luka is rowdy and Alois cares a lot about being a big brother for some reason — mostly just sits on the floor a lot and never talks at the right time. Not that Ciel knows what the right time is, he just knows what it isn’t, because that’s when Alois talks. He’s a very helpful friend, in that way.

He also asks questions at the weirdest possible time.

Ciel is halfway through making a really cool and totally not wonky construction — it was supposed to be a specific thing, he forgot, it’s a construction now — out of dead leaves when his friend lifts his head from the grass long enough to say a few words.

“...what did she mean when she said ‘guardian’?”

“That’s an easy word,” Ciel immediately retorts, but it’s more out of habit than anything — sometimes petty answers crawl all the way up his throat and not letting them out feels like ignoring an itch, and he’s not very good at ignoring itches — and all of the bite behind it is gone long before the end of the sentence, “you should know it.”

“Yes, yes, now be nice and answer me,” Alois says, not even looking up this time, unbothered by Ciel’s usual… cielisms. Ciel considers not answering anyway, but he does.

“It means an adult who is the one who takes care of you.”

“Why would she call Sebastian that, though? That’s obviously your dad!”

Ciel’s construction almost crumbles.

“It would be more like you’re obviously his son, actually…”

It falls.

Ciel knows, obviously, that Alois is wrong. Still, he is quiet all evening, trying and failing not to think about it. Only when his friend falls asleep — he’s hard to wake up, even if he always moves around, and mumbles, and sometimes has nightmares that wake Ciel up first — does he allow himself to pace in his room and actually think.

Sons don’t call their parents by their names. Sons don’t think of their parents as the sort of responsible adult around. Sons don’t…

Ciel wants to be a son.

He doesn’t understand any of it, but it feels like wanting to sit at the window at dusk, or reading one more story, or having a second slice of chocolate cake, or wearing his softest shirt, or, or… Or something. He doesn’t know. He has never wanted to be something before.

He knows, from experience and because he has been told so many times, that he can have anything he wants as long as he asks nicely, and it’s possible, and it’s reasonable. He’s not sure about the last one. Sebastian always says he should just ask. He even agrees to unreasonable things if they’re funny, sometimes.

Ciel wants him to agree for more reasons than “sounds mischievous, I’m in” or “I’ll always approve of you being an evil little schemer” this time.

He doesn’t have much time to think about it any longer, because there is a knock at the door and a long pause before it slowly opens.

“Still up? You really shouldn’t be,” Sebastian fake-scolds, but Ciel feels real-scolded anyway. “Back in your bed you go.”

As he slips back under the covers, letting Sebastian tuck him in, he thinks he should say something now. He might keep it to himself forever if he doesn’t talk now, and the thought is an itch, and he really wants to scratch it, and Sebastian is leaving the room already.

Bravery and fear sit — or, well, jump up and down would be more accurate — side by side in his stomach, but Ciel dares open his mouth when Sebastian’s hand comes to rest on the lightswitch.

“Goodnight, dad.”

There is a second of silence, and Ciel’s entire stomach flips at least three different times.

“Sleep well, my boy,” Sebastian then says right as he turns off the lights, taking it in stride.

Ciel’s dreams that night are warm and shapeless. He does not remember them in the morning, left with only a profound feeling of happiness that could come from anything, really.

[dumdeeedum]

Interview with the Vampire season 2 (Spoiler Warning, obviously)

OK, I'm going to get my thoughts together better on this but I'm not sure where this season is going and I'm losing interest already. I'm starting to understand why Anne Rice's son hasn't promoted this. It feels like they think they're writing a better story than the source material and... no. The things they seem to think are intriguing are not the things even Anne Rice seemed to think were interesting and they're not the things I find interesting. I don't like this story unravelling like a big fucking reveal. If you're going to make "Interview with the Vampire" two seasons, which they never should have done, focus on the characters! I don't understand so many things and it isn't in a way that's exciting to me anymore. They've made so many changes in ways that actually take away from the characters (Claudia, Armand, Lestat, and Daniel in particular) and I'm not seeing a good reason for that on the horizon either. They've also made changes that make certain things about vampire lore in this story less interesting and I'm bummed about that! I'm going to reiterate that the ages of these characters matters very much, the things these characters have been through relative to their ages matters very much. Making these actors so much older than they're meant to be ABSOLUTELY takes away from their characters and I'm having a hard time even recognizing these characters and reconciling them with the ones from the source material. And it isn't that they're bothered by making Armand an old vampire but also a 17-year-old sex trafficking victim that they wouldn't even have to get graphic with (because they never did in the books) because they had no problem making Claudia 14 and giving her sex scenes with an adult man. What these VERY YOUNG characters go through at their VERY YOUNG ages is what MAKES THEM. Lestat being a fucking 21-year-old fuckboy idealist who went to Paris with his musician boyfriend to be an actor MAKES HIM. Why are all the actors pushing 40?! Why is Daniel aged up and why don't I give a shit about him anymore? Especially when Armand and Daniel had a really interesting story in "Queen of the Damned!" ONE CHAPTER exploring the relationship between these two was more interesting than anything they're giving us right now. I'm not the type of person who theorizes very much, I'd rather let the storyteller tell me their story and decide how I feel about it after but obviously I'm supposed to come away from each episode intrigued for the next and I'm just not. I'm bored and I'm confused and in the age of the streaming service having television shows walking on tight ropes to earn another season that's really bad. They don't have time for this shit. This series is feeling like it's meandering and given the age changes they DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS SHIT. They don't have time to spend 10 years telling a story with actors pushing 40 who aren't meant to be aging! What age were they supposed to be again? Did they even say? I don't think the issue is the race changes, it's not moving the show into the future and all the things they have to do to have these characters navigate that. In fact, that would have been more interesting than this. The problem is taking away these timeless things that these vampires deal with that makes them interesting and even somewhat relatable. Right now Louis and Claudia are fucking boring. It's boring watching Louis putz around with adult ass looking Claudia trying to convince me she's a child when sometimes she's seen as a child by everyone else but then sometimes she isn't because the adult man she dated couldn't tell. OR COULD HE? Which is it? Why don't we know?? Why does Louis seem to understand so much about being a vampire as to render this search for others meaningless? What are they doing?? I wish I were more excited for this season but I'm just wary. At least Lestat actor was entertaining and a distraction to some extent even though he's too goddamn old. We'll see, I guess.

[gothark]

Books I've read in August 2024:

And what I thought about them:

The Water Outlaws - I genuinely feel bad for how bored I was reading this book. I was so excited by the premise but it felt like literally nothing was happening. It took me days to get through this and it really shouldn't have on page count alone.

3.25 Stars

Siege and Storm - This was just so mid, there is only one character I liked in this and even him I didn't really like at the end anymore lol mostly I was busy being annoyed by our main characters and their stupid, stupid choices.

3.25 Stars

Ruin and Rising - I was so glad to be done with the series xD I only read it so I could have the context for reading Six of Crows with a friend. I don't regret it but I certainly could have spent my time reading better books lol

3 Stars

Golden Son - my beloved. I genuinely cannot explain what the Red Rising Series makes me feel but I'm just here for the ride and enjoying literally every second. So down bad for this series.

5 Stars

StreamLine - I read this as an ARC and man I really enjoyed this. That SAO nostalgia but actually good even now and some really good representation. I have a longer review here:

4.5 Stars

The Titan's Curse - Obligatory Rick Riordan book of the month because he hasn't disappointed me yet (and I don't think he will in the future lol) Just had a really good time with this one

5 Stars

A Gathering of Shadows - it was fiiiiine. I wished so much more from the tournament arc just to be really disappointed xD but this series is growing on my like a mind controlling fungus and I think I'm slowly loosing the battle (help) still just

3.5 Stars

The Last Sun - Oh I really liked this one, really good urban fantasy (with men kissing, my favorite) but it just missed that one tiny thing I can never describe that makes a book 5 stars for me. I loved this book but it just didn't give me that spark. Hopefully further down the series!

4.75 Stars

Scythe - another one I really wanted to like and just didn't. The world building was so interesting (if very fragile in my opinion) but the characters were just.... flat. I didn't feel for any of them and that was kinda the important part lol they just felt a little two dimensional to me.

3.25 Stars

Punk 57 - oh I really disliked this one. I hate bullies, i hate bully romances and that was basically all this was. Add some cringe pop culture and song lyric sections, topped with some really uncomfortable smut and you have basically everything I dislike lol

1 Star

Trial of the Sun Queen - The world building of this book is as solid as the foam in the bathtub of an overenthuisiastic toddler. It doesn't do anything new, or particularly well, it was very predictable and I was just really uncomforatble most of the time while reading this.

2.5 Stars

The Resurrectionist - Another ARC this month and dear lord, this was everything I wanted. I loved the premise, the plot, the characters and I will buy this book so hard when it comes out. Say anything bad about this and you can come catch these hands.

5 Stars

The Fox and the Dryad - I did like this book... mostly. The relationship was cute but would have been cuter if it had less... you know... lying. It's another one of those were characters just need to open their mouths and talk to each other. Also the mentions of designer brands were genuinely driving me insane. I wanted to cry each time they are mentioned (which is too often)

4.5 Stars