#some rl medics
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Bro, I'm not even fucking joking, why the fuck am I obsessed with medics?! Specifically WW2 medics. I'm something else, thanks for coming to my rant.
#call of duty#cod ww2#robert zussman#band of brothers#eugene roe#the things they carried#rat kiley#some rl medics#dude...medics are fucking hot#medics#combat medics#military medics#cod bo4#jarrah crash bazley
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i think my coworkers and friends think its a little excessive that Im so militant about my sleep schedule but its hard to describe the extent to which the terrors fucking get me if my circadian rhythm is even a little fucked up
#see. if i fall asleep by 10:45 or so usually the RLS doesnt start up#but if i drink a coffee too late. or im out late. or stressed. or dont get much sleep the night before#it puts me at precipitous risk of getting fucking got#and then its genuinely some of the worst suffering i ever experience... crying pacing self medicating panicking etc etc etc#would take food poisoning over a bad RLS night easy. at least inbetween the vomiting you can sometimes get some rest#rn trialing a med that totally zonks me during the day but its worth it as a PRN cause otherwise ill be zonked ND a bitch if i dont sleep#to delete#resident good#my coworker like.... you wont even go out to dinner before a work day? not if its after 9PM bro otherwise theres a chance i Will Not Sleep#and not only that I WILL suffer the whole time#man Im frustrated too! I wish I wasnt like this but thats the bitch of living with a poorly understood movement disorder!
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Wait what do you mean being unable to take naps (as in actually sleeping and not just lying down for an hour waiting for medications to kick in) is an autism thing
Wait what do you mean insomnia and poor sleep quality is an autism thing
#currently filling out forms and questionnaires for a potential autism diagnosis#and BOY HOWDY are the questions making me google and learn some things#obviously sleep issues don't necesseraly mean you're autistic#but i've gon through a shit ton of medical tests and medications to figure out why i never feel rested#no issues with rem sleep. no sleep apnea. no rls. medications don't help#so uh. yeah boss might be the potential autism
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The level of frustration I’m experiencing…
My insurance will cover the silver ring splints I need, with a 20% co-insurance. Fine, cool, I’m ok with that, because paying $134 and change is better than paying $672 (cause I need like, six of them).
But-
They said I need to get them from an in-network DME provider.
Except Silver Ring Splints is a DME provider; they make the damned things. Nobody is going to order them from there to then hand to me…it’s like my insurance is telling me to go into McD’s and ask them to buy me a whopper.
So yeah, my insurance will cover it, but seems like they’ve made it effectively impossible to accomplish. I feel like it would be easier to just save the money and buy them myself.
Edit to add: they sent me a two-page list of DME providers within 10 miles of my home. I went through the whole list. None of them will work.
#rl stuff#medical frustration#this is some bullshit and it’s aggravating#just let me get the damned splints please#a lot of the providers don’t even sell the type of thing I need#lots of respiratory and pulmonary stuff#as well as diabetic care- dialysis care- etc.#heck- one place neither phone number listed was in order and another the business is permanently closed#the list is almost less than useless because I had to spend time going through them all to be sure they wouldn’t work#aaaargh
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Brain: Oh hey, we’re going to work through some unprocessed grief and trauma today.
Me: Can we not?
Brain: Nope, sorry! :)
#RL stuff#sorry to vent to y'all's dashboards#as i said i'm... processing through some things#so i may self-medicate through shitposting and binge reblogging#since i can't exactly drink right now 'cause bebe
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I mostly just scroll thru blog subs when im on mobile bc I follow too many ppl on here so I add mutuals etc there n then turn off notifs so it's like the creme de la creme of the dash anyway if u see me in ur notes more its bc I forgor to add some of u on there until recently sorry 😭😭
#i kept seeing some of u in my notes and i was like damn u guys have been rl quiet on the dash even tho ur active thats weird..#nope just wasnt seeing any of ur beautiful posting. my bad#ONL <- me on my hands and knees begging ur forgiveness#rly need to clean up my following list so my main dash is useable again..... 💀#maybe i should add it to my list of official chores for this weekend so i actually do it lol#.diaries#not done much this morning cuz i slept in n took my meds late.. but thats ok properly hitting my task list now#done 1 round of laundry got my med delivery n organised a bunch of stuff just tidying n cleaning now n then i have some laptop admin#n then i need to go out to town just debating maybe doing a closet sort first so i can take a bag of stuff to donate to charity w me hmm#and after im back ill food shop i have my meal plan for the next week done already. mm ill fit another round of laundry in too for sheets#and then tmr ill do a third for bathmats n teatowels etc. and polish boots/do my ironing while i watch a new movie or show..#awesome. i love being medicated i love being able to concentrate and get stuff done it feels so so good#i rly spent two wholeass decades unable to and thought that was that. god bless my adhd diagnosis for letting me access stimulants#even if i have to deal w this bullshit private shit atm its fine. ill be back on the nhs soon hopefully#and ill only need half of my script next month bc theyve sent me too much of one of them the last 2 months. so itll be way cheaper#i have like at least 3 months supply of my amfexa lmao and i dont even need it every day sometimes i skip it or take half instead#so it could probs stretch 5-6 months. but theyll only issue me 1 month of my elvanse at a time so i need to renew it more often 😔#considering taking a med break next weekend bc i just want to see how bad it would be. i can take my instant stuff if it rly sucks#and if its okay maybe ill take one day off meds every weekend when i dont Need to focus to get chores done etc#so that way i can gradually build up a buffer of med supply n also might be nice to have a day i can fully relax innit#not that i Can't relax on meds but it feels rly good to focus n get shit done n I don't get as much out of just lazin#anyway.... me and my 5 million tags as always
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Stroopwaffels | f1 grid
f1 grid × driver!reader × (lowkey) franco colapinto
[smau + rl]
summary : in which the reader had an accident but pretends as if it never happened, is chronic online, and loves stroopwaffels
liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris, lewishamilton and others
yourusername: got traumatised, got stroopwaffels and then a nice nurse lend me her crocs (they're so adorable)
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user1: oh god, she's lost it...
user2: girl, you good
landonorris: *we got some stroopwaffels
yourusername: I'm injured, let me take some ownership
lewishamilton: hope your doing better 🤞❤
user3: that crash looked bad, I hope you're doing alright
user4: well looking at those picture, I think she's fine
user5: or she got some head injury, because what is going on
user6: so are we not going to talk about it???
yourusername: about what?
user7: hope your feeling better ❤
francocolapinto: que te mejores pronto 🥰🥰
yourusername: Idk what you're talking about, but gracias hermoso 😚❤
user8: how are you still alive, that crash looked so mad!?!?
user9: is no one gonna question the amount of stroopwaffels that they bought???
user10: fr, they're like those ppl from the maths books
___
The race started normal. The nervousness as the lights started to turn on, the anticipation electrifying the air as you waited for the lights to turn off. The beating of your heart when they did and the automatic pressure applied to the throttle by you which followed.
You managed to pass a few cars before the first corner, passing a loud crowd in an even louder car. The heat behind your seat, was already making you sweat, and you knew that it would only get hotter as you went along. At least the outside temperatures were still decent.
You remeber checking your side mirror when you tried to pass the car in front of you, and the voice of your race engineer talking into your ear, but you didn't remeber turning. You can't recall if it was your own fault or the car's, or if it was the track. But you do remember your car hitting the curb as you went flying of the track, hitting the fence.
You remeber hearing distant voices, but you couldn't answer, you couldn't move. Your sight was moving so slowly, the dizzy world around you only got a bit clearer after a few moments. Clear enough for you to notice that you had to get out. A smell of fire was what brought said clarity up. Your hands were shaky, as you tried to unfasten your seatbelt. It normally wouldn't have taken this long, but your body was just too heavy. When you finally managed to unbuckle them, you dared to look outside. Over your already heavy breathing, weaved a sense of panic when you noticed that your car had embodied itself into the fence, above the ground, so you had to jump out. There were already Marshalls below, discussing what to do, a crane slowly approached as well. One of the marshalls ran up to the car with a ladder.
Even through your foggy mind you knew what they were planning to do, so you prepared to get out. Trying not to disturb the weight of the car too much, you pulled your legs in and pushed your body up, waiting for the ladder. You looked down towards the orange figures, only making them out blurry through your impacted vision. You jumped a little when a Marshall suddenly appeared by your side. He had already climbed up the ladder, but you hadn't noticed.
His lips moved, but you couldn't hear anything. You didn't know how to answers, so a thumps up had to be enough for now. He seemed to noticed your dizzy state and shouted something down, before slowly reaching out to you, to help you on the ladder. The drop down wasn't far, but the other Marshalls still put you airmattresses in case you should fall.
You don't know how you managed to make your way onto the ladder but you did. Following the Marshall down, as he stayed below you, one hand reaching up and holding you close to the ladder by your back.
At the bottom you had to take a moment to breathe. A Medical team immediately checked if you were alright for the moment, before leading you towards the medical car to take you to the medical centre.
___
liked by francocolapinto, landonorris, maxverstappen1 and others
yourusername: good things: doctor who, stroopwaffels, y mi persona favorito, Franco 😘
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user9: I aspire to be this nonchalant, girl just had a big crash, but instead of addressing it she posts her boy
user10: are they together? user9: I genuinely don't know yourusername: neither do we 🤔 user9: OMG?!?! user10: what is that supposed to mean???? 😳😳
francocolapinto: 🥰🥰❤ [liked by yourusername]
yourusername: 🥰❤😘 [liked by francocolapinto] user11: what is this, guys? yourusername: 😘 user11: welp
user12: WHAT IS GOING ON ?!?! 😲💀👀
user13: right??
landonorris: are you still concussed? 😃
yourusername: from what 👀 landonorris: 💥🏎 yourusername: I don't know what you're on about 🤔 landonorris: 💀
alexalbon: are you dating my teammate?
user14: alex out here asking the important questions yourusername: no alexalbon: I just heard franco shout in protest carlossainz55: I did too yourusername: what are u doing at williams, another dinner date with james 🤨😏😘 charles_leclerc: hahaha, she got you there 😂😂
maxverstappen1: can I get some stroopwaffels too?
yourusername: only if you watch doctor who with me 🥰 maxverstappen1: ok 😊
___
The conclusion from the medical staff after your inspection came to a surprise almost. You were pretty much fine, aside from a concussion. Nevertheless did they still sent you to the hospital to get a CAT-scan just to be sure that everything is fine.
After everything there got concluded, you were advised to stay overnight before being able to get picked up by someone. Not that you were in a state to complain, as you were still way too dizzy and tired to complain. The way too hard hospital bed, with it's annoying pillows didn't bother you as much in that moment, because you couldn't really concentrate on it anyway, as you quickly fell asleep.
While you were out, some of the drivers came up to visit, leaving flowers and get well cards. One of the drivers got also instructed to pick you up in the morning. That someone turned out to be Lando. For whatever reason.
Although you were still a bit dizzy, you managed to not throw up or fall on your nose when you made your way to Lando's car. The gifts you received were already on the backseat. The curly headed man, smiled brightly as he saw you, which you returned, still slightly delirious.
"They gave me these funky pills so now I can't stop smiling." Was the fist thing you announce when you sat in the passenger seat. Lando simply laughed loudly and started the car.
"Hey, can we stop at some shop, I'm craving stroopwaffeln." You answered, trying to pronounce it as Dutch as you could, remembering the way Max taught you.
"Fuck yeah, stroopwaffels are the best." Lando agreed eagerly. "But don't tell our trainers."
Completely off it, you lifted a wobbly finger to your lips and let out a pshhh. Lando watched you, and bit his lip clearly holding back a laugh.
"Shit you're high." He mused. "But you have to pretend not to be when we ho shopping, alright."
You held out your pinkie, "I swear."
Lando giggled and wrapped his pinkie around yours.
___
liked by yourusername, oscarpiastri, francocolapinto and others
lando.jpg: stroopwaffels 🍪
tagged: yourusername, oscarpiastri
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yourusername: did you steal my stroopwaffels???
lando.jpg: I payed for them yourusername: paid*
user14: damn they're really out there living their best life
user15: he did oscar dirty, haha
user16: I really want some stroopwaffels too now 🙃
oscarpiastri: why are you all so obsessed with stroopwaffels?
yourusername: cause they're amazing
lando.jpg: seriously osc
danielricciardo: oh can I get some too 😯
lando.jpg: no yourusername: yes danielricciardo: great 🥰 thanks y/n
user17: I love the crocs
___
You had been ordered to stay in bed by the doctors, so that was exactly what you had been doing. Laying on your couch, watching doctor who, drinking tea and eating stroopwaffels. You ignored the sickness coming over you as you bit into the soft stroopwaffel, before placing it again over you mug, just in time for Franco to come back into the room from the bathroom. Way too loud in your opinion. The remains of the concussion were still present and you were trying to improve your health before the race this coming weekend. So you did nothing and chilled with Franco.
He came over after you got back home and hasn't really left your side since then.
"What candles do you use in you bathroom, they smell amazing." He announced throwing himself back on the couch next to you.
"I think they were a gift, so I'm not sure." You answered, moving you eyes from the television towards the boy.
"Who gave them to you?"
"Charles, but I think Alexandra picked then out." You nodded chuckling alongside Franco.
"Ah, then I'm gonna ask her, maybe I can also pet Leo."
"Maybe you can steal him and then we can co parent him." You suggested eyes focused back on the screen.
"Are you on drugs again?" Franco asked leaning over and poking your cheek. You still had problems moving you eyes, as the world seemed to just lag behind when you did. So with you simply staring at the screen showing barely any emotions you did appear sluggishly, as if on medication.
"Well, I do still take my meds, but I'm not high." Slowly you turned to look at Franco who frowned at you.
"Are you sure it's a good idea to race this weekend again?" He asked concerned. It was a question he had continuously asked over the past few days. And you replied the same everytime. "I have to, I might get dropped if not. I don't want to not perform and look weak in front of the media, they're gonna eat me alive. I mean people have driven in worse states."
Franco didn't answer, but his expression clearly didn't agree with your words. Though he knew that arguing with you wouldn't matter. It would only lead to headaches. So all he did was throw his arms around you and moved his body weight into you, so that you both fell onto your side.
You landed on you back and Franco squeezed in the gap beside you and the back of the couch, arm draped over your torso. When befriending him your quickly learned that his love language was physical touch, so random cuddles were starting to be normal behaviour for him. Especially when he wanted to show that he cared and comfort you.
You never complained, because you actually loved it. You loved the kind of bond you two shared. But there was a slight problem just now.
"I can't reach my stroopwaffels."
#formula 1#formula one fanfiction#lando norris#franco colapinto#f1 x reader#f1 smau#daniel ricciardo#alex albon#carlos sainz#oscar piastri#f1 fanfic#franco colapinto x reader#lando x reader
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AITA for not telling my friends that I probably wont survive this year?
Trigger warning: mentions of terminal illness, medical malpractice, death.
💀🤫🤐 to find later
I know the general consensus for this type of thing is almost always that I should tell them. This is a little more complicated, but I might still be TA.
I (20s trans) have an illness that doesn’t always end with death. It’s usually manageable with some heavy medications. The problem is that I live in the US, where access to these medications is made almost impossible, especially if you’re poor. I lucked out for a few years and have been able to have access. I thought I was set for life, and then the dr who prescribed that med started being inappropriate and abusive. They won’t allow me to transfer to a different dr in their office and there are literally no other doctors where I live that cover this disease or will prescribe the medication for me. So, that access is ending very soon, and I have spent months trying to find a way around it but. Hey. The American medical industry genuinely sucks. I just found out that it’s 100% impossible for me to continue this medication with the way things are, and nothing else works like this class of medications.
What this means is things are going to get really bad for me, and then I will most likely die in a really unpleasant way. That’s the reality, and at this point there is no avoiding it. I tried, but there are no options. I’m still in the process of accepting it. It’s not going great.
The problem is, I can’t bring myself to tell anyone I know the full details. I’ve mentioned things are not looking good, but as far as most of my friend’s know I’m doing just fine.
The last time I was this unwell, it was before I was allowed access to these medications, newly diagnosed, and I was doing really poorly. When I told friends and mutuals about this, they called the cops to do a “wellness check” because they just assumed I was suicidal rather than actually that sick for some reason. I, a visibly trans person, was forced to allow a cop to come into my apartment to talk to me while I was trapped my bed because I was unable to get up and walk at that point. At the same time, I started getting messages on my personal blog telling me to shut up about my illness. A lot of messages to KMS already. I mean a lot of them. When I started to get better thanks to the meds, I had people tell me they were disappointed that I didn’t die. I had close friends ghost me or tell me I wasn’t worth it.
To say I’m traumatized about this kind of thing is putting it lightly. Years of therapy has not even touched most of that.
Now, I don’t have any rl friends. Being constantly sick made that hard, then the pandemic made it impossible. So all my friends are online and won’t be clued in to what’s happening unless I tell them outright. I would like to, because I hate the idea of vanishing on them. But I’m currently living in an even more unsafe area to have a “wellness check” done by the police and I just genuinely can’t bring myself to trust anyone with this level of personal ever again.
AITA for not telling them? Should I just suck it up and do it?
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Woah. Rex doesn’t remember getting drunk.
But he must be, right? He’s gotta be fucking plastered to be this dizzy. He feels like he’s on a boat. Fuck, the whole world is spinning, tilted all diagonal style, lights way too bright. He winces, pulling back a little at the spike of pain behind his eyes. Vicky always insists on going to just the trashiest fucking clubs, way too loud, way too many lights—huh. Vic. There he is, the bitch.
Rex tries to say something, to call him out for the stupid fucking look on his face, big brown eyes all wide and panicky looking, but his tongue feels like lead and the words just won’t come out. No big deal. Vicky yaps enough for the both of ‘em, always has.
“Cap?” he’s saying, getting up in Rex’s face. “Rex, bud, can you hear me?”
Of course Rex can’t hear him. The music is way too fucking loud, bass thundering in his ears and making his skull prickle. Or—huh. Wait. There isn’t any music. That’s just his pulse. And there aren’t actually any strobe lights, just fluorescent glare. They’re not at the club. Hell, he’s not even drunk. And he’s lying down on the…oh. On the ice.
Oh, fuck.
“Easy, dude. Don’t move. Trainer’s coming.” Vic’s got his glove off, fingers warm on Rex’s cheekbone. Rex whines in the back of his throat; Vicky shouldn’t be touching him like that, not here, not where everybody can see them, but goddamn if it doesn’t feel good, a little anchor, safe harbor in the storm.
Vic looks scared, though. He’s chewing on his mouthguard like a dog, and Rex wants to tell him to quit it, stop being a bitch and give him a hand up, but Christ, he really can’t figure out how to make his lips move. The spinning keeps happening, making his stomach clench, and the pain in his head is intensifying, a burning in his eyes and a dull ache at the base of his neck. Fuck.
Rex is…Rex is maybe a little scared too.
“Look at me. Hey. Hey. Cap, c’mon, look at me, baby, don’t close your eyes, Rex, Rex, FUCK, get the medic over here NOW—”
Doesn’t matter that he’s not drunk. Either way, he blacks out.
[Fic by the exceptionally talented @bxtterflystxtches , who I have the honor of collaborating with for this event. Please show him some love!]
[OC INDEX]
COMMISSIONS ARE OPEN!
Tag list: @whumpsday // @demondamage // @squidlife-crisis // @whumpedydump // @cyborg0109 // @whumpfish // @astrowhump // @the-scrapegoat // @whatwhumpcomments // @dustbunnywhump // @why-not-ask-me-a-better-question // @dokidokisadness // @moss-tombstone // @lambofmine // @maracujatangerine // @pinkraindropsfell // @writereleaserepeat // @blood-and-regrets // @littlespacecastle // @snakebites-and-ink // @unforgiven235 // @lonesome--hunter // @atomicsandwichprince // @writereleaserepeat // @whatamidoingherehelpme // @skittles-the-whumpee // @the-blind-one-speaks // @i-eat-worlds // @devourerofcheesecake // @theauthorintraining // @otterfrost // @mommymarichatfurever // @whumpifi // @catnykit // @bitchaknso // @softmutt444 // @yet-another-heathen // @blackbirdsinatrenchcoat // @burnticedlatte // @violent-ultraviolet // @limitlesstrash17 // @inspiral-rl // @coyotehusk // @mis-graves // @caffeinatedscorpio // @defire // @badluck990 // @unforgivenn //
If you’re interested in being added to the tag list, please let me know!
#whumptober2024#no.10#Passing Out from Pain#OC#art#whump#whumpblr#whumpee#whump art#original character#original story#Victory Montez#Rex Engelhart#tokimeki art#AU#hockey au#hockey whump
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RL Story
CW: addiction, baby health
My Baby and I have been home for 4 weeks now. Little progress and improvements in my Son’s development were slowly noticeable. He still cried at night, but he became much calmer compared to the first weeks before. I think this is mainly due to the usual routine we have developed together at home. What also helped Lucas a lot, was our first visit to the pediatrician after the hospital discharge. The pediatrician recommended a special baby-formula, because my little one cried a lot and also lost weight.
As for that withdrawal symptoms thing, the pediatrician said the same, as the docs in the hospital told me. My Baby had a mild withdrawal, but now after 3 weeks, it should be over. From a medical pov, he's ok! The constant crying and restlessness should also subside, once we change his baby-formula. The doc explained to me, that Lucas seems to be a very sensitive child. I simply have to accept it! This was the second time a doctor told me my Son was sensitive. Well, I get it now! My Baby’s okay, I just need to be a bit more chilled.
Anyway! My Baby was getting better while I was getting... worse. I was constantly feeling sad and totally exhausted. I was terrified for my Son, even though he was FINE! So my Mom slept with me & Lucas. In my bed! 🫤 I didn’t ask her to!! She stayed every night with us in my room, to feed Lucas at night. My Mom knew that his crying, scared/worried me, because I kept thinking something was wrong with Lucas. She just wanted to help me. But somehow Lucas got used to sleeping in my bed. Just like my.... Mom!? 😫
I am truly grateful to her, for everything she has done for Lucas & me, and is still doing. But I think she...... meant it too well, if you understand me? With her constant help, she basically... replaced me as a mother. Now my Son had two Moms, yk? Ofc, that's nothing bad or so!! My whole situation back then was just... chaotic. Actually, I should be with Lucas & Nico alone, at our own place! But unfortunately, this was not possible at the time.
However, things will go a bit wrong, especially as soon as Nico comes back home. Also between me & my parents it's gonna get.... stressfull. Tbh, I needed help. But since I didn’t talk to anyone about it, my parents didn’t know I was depressed. Instead, they expected the worst (of me). They thought I had relapsed.😠
Oh, and Sandra also came to me. She and Liam visited Lucas quite often the first days. I have entrusted Sandra with some things that have burdened me. Yesterday Philip called me. He wanted to see Lucas. I told S. I was afraid of becoming like Isabella. 😞I don’t know why I felt that way?? Maybe bcs I talked to P.?? Sandra tried to make me realize that N.'s & my situation is not like P.'s & Isabella's (was). I just felt guilty about Lucas, like I was a bad mother. That's why.... I was afraid to become like Isabella.
And that my Mom took over my job as a Mother at the beginning, did not do me any good. But also my Dad, he somehow replaced Nico for Lucas. It's so strange. Bcs actually my parents did nothing bad! They only helped us. Still... I....I never thought that all this would have such a negative effect on the relationship between Nico &Lucas.
Previous/Next
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Ruler of Dreams. Short I
Previous post
Self-Aware! BSD Characters x GN! Embodiment of Dreams! Reader
Warning: English is my second language. Crack-ish
/BSD Characters have a nice evening together./
/Suddenly, the door is opened. Aya, who looked unwell, walked inside on wobbly legs. Face-plant on the couch. You are behind her, looking normal. You are holding some sort of sandwich in your hand./
Bram: checking on Aya, looked worried What happened?!
/Aya whines. She managed to talk/
Aya: It was horrible! I only wanted to thank Mister RL! Gogol for delicious breakfast!
/You lean on the nearest wall, observing everyone. Sandwich in your hands start slowly sparkle with your powers. It was changing to be the most delicious sandwich in the world/
Aya: I made pie for him! And he... He...
Bram: enraged, looks at you Did he hurt her?! Control your...
/You raise your hand, signaling Bram to let Aya finish/
Aya: still sobbing He invited me to their part of the castle... I went here... And there...
/Aya can't even talk and. She wined, holding her stomach. You spoke instead of her/
[Y/N]: And there were five tables, full of meat, vegetables, drinks. Tons of food, made of everything that lived in Russia or Ukraine. And Gogol, who insisted on 'Thanking a nice girl for giving us delicious pie'. And nice girl didn't know, when to stop. And the arsonist¹ can be pretty convincing.
/You sat near Aya. Still with changing sandwich in your hand/
[Y/N]: Aya, do you remember his kulebyaka on four corners? In one corner were sturgeon cheeks and fish bone marrow. In another corner there was buckwheat porridge with mushrooms and onions. In the third were milts. In the fourth - brains...²
/Aya whine and curled on the couch. You signed and, with a wave of your hand, summon a little bottle of medicine/
[Y/N]: Take it. The pain will go away. But remember... you walked away from Aya, waving the Perfect Dream Sandwich around If I say 'Don't gift food to Gogol' you better listen. You can't say no to his cooking.
/Aya nodded. Bram helped her to take medication. You were still waving sandwich around./
Ayatsuji: [Y/N], what are you doing?
/Suddenly, a blur, that appeared from one of the closets, snatched the sandwich from your hand. RL! Ayatsuji greet BSD Cast with the nod and continue eating sandwich/
[Y/N]: Was looking for a person, who, with the rest of the alive authors, were forbidden from entering my kingdom for meeting you, until I allow it.
/RL! Ayatsuji winked at you./
RL! Ayatsuji: You can't blame us, Dream. We are curious.
[Y/N]: rolled eyes Yea, yea. Now please, privacy.
/RL! Ayatsuji clapped your shoulder and disappeared in the direction of The Portal room/
/Everyone are silent. You wave your hand towards one of the corridors/
[Y/N]: Writers still having their party. If you want, you can join them. Personally, I would like to eat some pastila³ with FM.
/You left. Soon, BSD cast joined you. It was one of the first steps in bonding with the Dream Kingdom./
______
¹ Gogol burned some of his unpublished works, that he considered a failure.
² This exact Kulebyaka (type of pie) was described in Gogol's "Dead Souls".
³ Pastila is a traditional Russian fruit confectionery. It has been described as "small squares of pressed fruit paste" and "light, airy puffs with a delicate apple flavor". Interesting facts, F. M. Dostoevsky was fond of pastila
#self-awarebsd#self-awareau#bungou stray dogs au#bsd#bungou stray dogs#bsd anime#bsd x gender neutral reader#gender neutral reader#The Kingdoms of Dreams AU
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Please if you can, hear me out.
Dissociative Disorders (DDs) and Trauma related disorders are losing favor in the psychiatric field. Many treatment centers that treated for DDs or Trauma Treatment have been shut down.
The Finding Solid Ground program is the top leading research in the Dissociative Disorder field currently. They occasionally have studies you can apply for and they genuinely want to help via research. You can help by signing up for their mailing list to participate in their studies on DDs, link is provided near the end of this post.
People with DDs are being diagnosed now as Bipolar and/or Schizophrenic, I know because I was misdiagnosed about 3 times, telling me I was delusional and had Bipolar AND schizophrenia
It never occurred to them to ask whether the voices I heard were on the outside or the inside of my head. I spent my teen years in absolute turbulence and after being misdiagnosed, I was put on a VERY strong anti-psychotic that for 6 months, I became narcoleptic and developed permanent TD and RLS.
Because of my BPD diagnosis, I also faced medical discrimination and mistreatment because Doctors will take one look at a BPD diagnosis and immediately assume you are lying.
It also seems very on trend lately to disbelieve RAMCOA/TBMC survivors. Some things Ive seen on here and Reddit have been wholly devastating to read that people who suffered from RAMCOA were just merely "manipulated" and suggesting that those who experienced horrific tortures are simply "gaslit" and "delusional"
You can apply for studies here they are currently just putting people on email notifications for when studies open up.
These disorders are real. RAMCOA is real-- people just don't want to believe how cruel human beings can be to each other. It's denial of reality. We are not delusional. You should believe RAMCOA survivors because we have seen the depravity, and the fact we are surviving means: we've seen it, lived it, and are trying to continue our lives despite what we faced. And now we're being called liars.
This program is not exclusive to RAMCOA it is for dissociative disorders all together.
Please donate if you can, if you cannot, reblogs are appreciated. Spread the word. We are not delusional, we have mental illness that little understand.
^ this link leads to the Finding Solid Ground project and is informative and provides resources such as the PITQ-p, the workbooks, and more all found through this.
We are survivors. We are more than what happened to us.
We deserve to heal.
******This is NOT aimed at Endos, Tulpas, or those who "willed" their system into being. This is for dissociative disorders*******
#did#pf did#cdid#actually cdid#syspunk#traumagenic#RAMCOA#TBMC#DID#OSDD#maladaptive daydreaming#Finding Solid Ground Project#donations#ok to rb#in fact please do
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rl donna beneviento hcs
because @scuba-gragas (your acc is NOT linking for some reason) freaked out over one of my edit captions and im like. why not share more sad stuff about donna! and also silly stuff in here too.
AND NO IM NOT PUTTING "ATTEMPTED BEFORE" IN HERE THIS IS NOT SOME SAD SOME RANDOM
repeating this from the edit but due to her tendency to remember numerous timelines, donna has even more of a SEVERE fear of being abandoned by mc and lacks a lot of self confidence in the relationship. she remembers mc being happy with the others, what if they did a better job than her? what if mc goes to them? or perhaps, what if the loop occurs and mc goes to someone else, and donna sees them just act happier? was she easily replacable?
however, sometimes donna DOES express her relationship anxieties and mc always does help out; its not all torment for donna, dont worry. as time goes on she always tries to be more open with mc about her feelings
okay back to sad. i imagine this happens to everyone but in their own way, but donna is a sleep hugger. so when she wakes up the day after the loop, shes hugging a pillow instead of mc and she just sits there for a bit. sometimes, she doesnt really get it, other times, she instantly knows what happened. she hates the feeling of waking up that morning and thinking she has someone in her arms, only to have an empty spot in her bed.
really good at claw machines. when angie was younger, she loved going to the arcade, and so donna mastered the art of claw machines to get angie a bunch of prizes (and sometimes herself).
invested in noise cancelling headphones / earbuds once she got with mc. she wears them a lot everywhere and even went to her first concert with them, it helps her not be overstimulated.
she hates herself for this, but part of her prays that mc stays with miranda after she has to wipe belas memories. she cant stand the thought of hurting her niece again in another loop.
would probably get a sims addiction, but specifically making sims.
plays relaxing video game soundtracks in the store (dani, angie, and mc often update the playlists)
she sells those fake flowers on april fools that shoot water at peoples faces.
loves to watch operas and ballets.
im struggling with wording this but like. when donna realizes the loop has occured she always just takes a bunch of time to prepare herself for whatever is going to happen, but ESPECIALLY knowing she has to murder someone for angie again. shes basically doomed to do this forever until mc gets with miranda; and i KNOW angie sometimes isnt a doll but. lets forget about that!! i just imagine shes always a doll anyways, it makes more sense that way, and either way, a loop where angie is fully human is just a temporary break for one of donna's many problems.
ethel cain stan
hates hospital shows for MANY reasons. she doesnt like seeing the hospitals first of all, she doesnt like seeing when the people die, and she hates the medical inconsistencies.
in loops where bela and mc have a family (sigh), she can't help but literally try to keep her distance. they won't have their family for long, and she cant bear to tell them that (although bela is most definitely aware) or even get attached to their baby, she doesn't want to lose someone close again (although bela does not catch onto this; she tries to get donna involved as opposed to alcina)
owns a typewriter
constantly has a tab of solitaire open on her laptop.
theres a picture of markiplier hidden in her room and she doesnt know it. angie hid it there and has been waiting for donna to find it. thing is? she hid it before the loop started. so it is permanently there for every loop.
always has really cutesy and simplistic halloween costumes she wears in her flower shop for the holiday. her favorite costume is a bee.
loves build-a-bear. it obviously takes her some time to get ready to go there (she often plans out their least busy times), but she loves to make her own plushes for her collection and buy them new clothes. eventually takes mc there for a date and they adopt a bear together.
but outside of that? she really hates getting new ones there during the loops. she gets really attached to them and she hates knowing they're only there for a short time.
kanoodle master.
hates the smell of nail polish
great hugger, even if she doesn't give them out that often.
owns a bunch of retro game consoles and likes to collect them, although she doesn't get much time to play them.
hates the bee movie; angie loves it
while mc obviously does open her eyes, donna still struggles with the concept of even trying to get better because she knows its all just going to loop. yes, she will work on things and they will improve, but certain things will revert back to normal after the loop anyways.
once tried to dance in the rain for fun and ended up getting a cold instead.
alright i think thats it... i might share more in the future but i tried to balance this with silly and sad.
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My queue runs out today. Due to a family medical emergency last week I haven't had a chance to work on my stories or go in game to get screenshots. Not sure if I'll have time this week either. Stories will resume once things settle down somewhat in RL.
Until then I have some character asks to work one.
Hope everything is going well for everyone.
Take care!
#state of the blog#stories are on a little hiates#real life is awful at the moment#but it'll get better
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So, I blame @dipperscavern for this. I was minding my own business and found the post about a firefighter au. I, as a paramedic and firefighter in RL, had to fulfill the now moral obligation to write this. AKA I wanted to picture Cregan Stark in a FD uniform and Bunker gear.
This is only a TEASER for a fic I'm calling Sirens and Hearts of Fire for right now. It will be a first responder Cregan Stark x first responder reader. I have a lot more to add until I'm done and, honestly? I'm already coming up with so many head cannons for this au!
Side note: if anyone has questions about what something means, please go ahead and message me. I will happily answer it. 😊
Please enjoy.
“Medic Short Shit! Please report for duty!” was shouted by a deep, northern accent across the fire bay.
“Shut the fuck up, Lieutenant Stark! Not everyone can be as tall as a fucking tree!” She shouted back from the back of the squad. She heard laughter ring out from the guys in the day room and had to roll her eyes.
She knew she was late to the morning meeting but the check off was almost done. When joining the Winterfell Fire Department two years ago after job opportunities dried up in the Stormlands she hadn’t quite pictured being this comfortable. Most of the major FDs were fully staffed and openings were fought over by a few dozen applicants. It was better just to relocate since she didn’t have any roots set down in Storm’s End. It was interesting to say the least. Most of the people she worked with were legacy fire with founding members in their family lines. The Starks, Velaryons and Targaryens being the most noted with five generations of firefighting.
She quickly checked the last cabinet and marked off in the book that it had everything it needed before putting away the binder by the airway seat. She huffed as she got out of the squad and hurried over to the meeting. Cregan and Jace were waiting at the door to the crew area of the station with a half grin on the latter’s face.
“Finally decided to join us, L.T. Spitfire?” Jace said, using the nickname the department had given her. He was clearly enjoying irritating her this early in the morning before coffee.
“Maybe if someone whose name starts with a J and ends with an Ace didn’t steal Luke away when he was supposed to be checking off the back up squad, truck check wouldn’t have taken so long. Besides, we both know Baela had a rough night on the Medic and there was a lot to restock.” She huffed as she moved passed them. She heard Cregan chuckle as she did, ignoring the shiver that wanted to go through her body at the sound. Cregan Stark was what every woman dreamed of when they thought about Firefighters. Strong, handsome, looked wonderful in and out of bunker gear. And he was entirely off limits in her opinion. Especially after she was told his longtime girlfriend, Arra, died in a car accident.
From what Baela had said they were going through EMT-basic class together when it happened. Cregan responded to the scene with the others on the engine and had been nearly inconsolable with she had been a DOA. He took close to a year off from the job as he tried to piece himself back together. His father and other department members finally managed to get him to come back not long before she joined. Needless to say, the crush which she developed on him went unspoken after she heard that, despite Baela swearing up and down it might be time to say something.
She waved to Chief Stark as she entered the kitchen and went to the coffee maker, pouring some into her favorite mug while ignoring the chuckles of the other crew members around the room.
“Squads up to par, Lieutenant?” Rickon asked, unbothered by her lateness to the group. She gave a thumbs up as she took her first drink of caffeine, the dark liquid already helping her perk up. She sat down next to Luke and Ben, the former giving her an apologetic look with a sheepish smile for leaving her by herself this morning. Ben was practically glued to his own mug as he looked over cardiac rhythms on his phone, trying to memorize them. Both had their books on the table for paramedic class. It was clearly leaving the two younger men haggard, and it was only going to get worse.
Chief clearing his throat tore her attention away from the guys and the chatter through the room quieted as everyone listened to assignments for the shift.
“Alright, now that everyone’s here let’s get started. Seat assignments are up on the board along with upcoming trainings. We need to wash the trucks today and keep an eye on them throughout the next few months before it gets too cold. Make sure they look good while we can.” Chief said. As he went through the morning debrief, he paused for a moment as he looked over some paperwork next to him.
“Pyke FD has also reached about having us join them for an open water rescue training in the coming months. Speak to Manderly if you’ve got questions or want to volunteer. We’d like to see a good level of participation as this is a good opportunity for the department.” At the chief’s words she blanched, she could almost hear the underline expectations for them to sign up for it. She remembered the last time they had to deal with Pyke and their members, one in particular coming to mind.
“I swear, if fucking Greyjoy starts his shit again…” she muttered under her breath, earning a few chuckles from around the room. She heard a displeased grunt from somewhere behind her but choose to ignore it. Chief shot her a look before shaking his head, continuing over some vehicle maintenance before finally dismissing the meeting and retreating to his office.
She sighed as drank her coffee, scrolling on her phone and barely paying attention to the different conversations that now filled the space as the crew started making breakfast. Mormont manning the stove while the others set out plates and silverware. She was finally brought out of it when Ben tapped her shoulder, a confused look on his face as he held out his phone.
“This is a second-degree heart block Mobitz type II, right?” He asked, the poor guy looked ready to pull his hair out at this point. She took pity on him, taking the phone and watching the rhythm before she answered.
“Yeah, you’re right. I think you’re finally getting the hang of cardiology, Ben.” The shy firefighter almost looked ready to let out a whoop, clearly happy he was getting over his biggest hurdle in class. Luke joined in the conversation, asking questions along with Ben about the hiccups he was having and asking about IV medications. After a while they were interrupted by Cregan and Jace sitting across from the trio, both setting down plates of food for everyone. Before long the rest of the crew had sat down to eat. Most of the conversation revolved around sports, new tools, and plans for the summer while they had good weather. She didn’t pay much attention to it while she ate, still annoyed at the idea of dealing with Dalton. She didn’t notice anyone trying to speak to her until a hand was smacked down on the table across from her.
“Earth to Spitfire, come in Spitfire,” Jace said dramatically while he leaned back.
“What, your highness?” she huffed when she came back to the conversation around her. She couldn’t help but notice that Cregan seemed on edge with whatever Jace had been talking about, his brows knitted together as he looked back and forth between them.
“So how are going to deal with Greyjoy this time around? I doubt he’s going to just give up after you told him off last time,” Jace pointed out before taking a bite of bacon. It was at this point Cregan set down his coffee mug, giving the brunet an exasperated look before he spoke.
“Chief said it’s voluntary, she doesn’t have to go if she doesn’t want to.” He said firmly, clearly as annoyed about the idea of seeing the Ironborn again as much as she was.
“Oh come on, Lt, you know when your dad says something about participation it always means he wants as many people to go as possible. I’ve already checked and it’s not our unit day so he will want to see us there,” Luke added in before he finished off his breakfast. He got up to take his and Ben’s dishes to the sink.
“I second that. You know he’s going to want to have as many of us there as possible. Plus, I don’t like the idea of not being there if something happens one of you guys. You know the Iron Isles are short on medics right now. Not ideal,” she reasoned. As much as she disliked the idea, she wasn’t going to possibly leave her guys without proper care.
“Be that as it may, I don’t think he’s going to blame you if you opt out of this one. He wasn’t exactly happy with how Dalton acted either after I told him. As an officer at Pyke, that was completely unprofessional of him.” Cregan’s argument made her stop mid-bite. She put her fork down as she tried to keep her sudden irritation down.
“What the hell do you mean you told chief?” she said as she narrowed for eyes at him.
“Easy Spitfire, it’s not what you think. It needed to be reported since it was at a training. Chief Blacktyde was grateful that we informed him of the misconduct of one of his officers and said he would handle it.” Cregan tried to calm her down before she went off on him, his hands raised slightly and an amused smirk tugging at his lips. She tried not to huff as she picked up her fork again and shoved some eggs in her mouth. She eyed him as she chewed before she swallowed her food down.
“While you have a point, it still would have been nice to know you told your dad about it,” she said begrudgingly, still annoyed but seeing his point. “Although, that means there should be no issue with me going to the training then, should there?” It was now Cregan’s turn to look irritated as she countered him. She hid her grin by taking another drink of her coffee when all he did was grunt in response. She noticed Jace giving Cregan a look that the lieutenant deliberately ignored while he continued eating. She didn’t think much of it at the time.
She finished off her coffee and breakfast before getting up to hand off the dishes to Locke at the sink. She nodded to the squad crew members that had finished their food as well, getting them up to get the trucks washed for the day.
As she went out into the bay and started heading towards the premiere squad, Luke and Darry went to fill the buckets. Ben grabbed the brushes as she pulled the truck out. Luke started to hose down the squad, wetting down the bright blue apparatus before two of them started scrubbing. Ben went to pull out the back up to be cleaned as well, the older truck a slightly darker shade of blue with an older department logo on the side. She still wasn’t quite used to the different colors they used in the North compared to the Stormlands, the southern region using different shades of yellow for their emergency vehicles. At least it wasn’t the green that the Reach had. She still couldn’t believe the lime green the Oldtown FD used for theirs.
The engine and rescue crews came out not too long after them, pulling out and getting started on their respective trucks. Soon the smell of car soap filled the air as the occasional shout was heard when someone accidently got sprayed with hose. She was silently cursing as she tried to scrub the bugs off of the top front of the squad. The splatter almost seeming baked on as her arms started to ache from the angle she had to hold the brush. She heard the sound of boots coming up behind but didn’t pay it any mind until she was suddenly lifted up onto someone’s shoulder.
“Cregan! Put me down!” She said as she tried to avoid hitting him with the handle of the brush for flailing. She found herself gripping his other shoulder with one hand as her torso was half leaned over his head to keep her balance. Once she was steady, she looked down at him like he was crazy.
“You looked like you needed some added height, Medic Short Shit,” he said with a chuckle, clearly unaffected by her weight.
“Don’t you have your own truck to wash?!” she said, trying to sound irate but didn’t quite succeed as a mix of panic and a touch of something else pitted in her belly. She sent a pleading look to the other guys but several of them held up their hands in surrender as they tried to keep from laughing at her predicament. She mouthed “traitor” to them as she kept a death grip on Cregan underneath her.
“It’s already done if you haven’t noticed. Now get to scrubbing, Luke needs to hose off the soap soon,” he said before readjusting his hold on her legs, securing her enough to make her loosen her hold on him. She grumbled as she carefully straitened up, beginning to clean the bug splatter off again as she slowly relaxed on his shoulder.
After she gotten off what she could, Cregan stepped back from the truck as Luke got to work. She passed off the brush to Darry before Stark slowly lowered her down. She breathed a sigh of relief as her feet finally touched the ground again and sagged back into Cregan as his arm came around her midsection to keep her steady.
“That wasn’t so bad now, was it?” He was grinning down at her, still find her reacting amusing.
“You know I don’t do roofs for a reason…,” she muttered. She wasn’t nearly as irritated as his hand on her hip distracted her but she wasn’t going to let him see that. Before he could say anything, Bolton took that opportunity to open his mouth.
“Hey lieutenant, you think you can stop flirting long enough to help get the bay swept out while it’s quiet?” At his words a collective groan came from everyone.
“Damnit Bolton! You know what that word does!” Locke said as he started to rush relaying hose.
“What? It’s not like it actu-,“ Bolton was cut off as the tones dropped for their station.
“Station 1, Station 1, need a squad to respond to 248 Arrow St for a male with chest pain. Time out 0823,” came across the station loudspeaker. Luke, Darry, and her already getting into the squad before the dispatcher finished.
#hotd#cregan stark#cregan x reader#hotd cregan#jace velaryon#lucerys velaryon#jacaerys velaryon#luke velaryon#benjicot blackwood#rickon stark#random characters#Fire department AU#hotd fire department au
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Be an isekai for Rashta from Remarried Empress.
You're an average twenty-first-century woman armed with plot spoilers
You start out reincarnated as a child slave, you're looking forward to years of abuse, forced labour, and rape at the hands of your slave owners/kidnappers
You're also going to give birth to your rapist's child with no or minimal medical treatment, hooray, at least you'll survive as per the plot spoilers
You finally escape your owner, run into the Emperor, he's your only chance to leave slavery
Congratulations! You're part of the royal court as the Emperor's mistress now ... but you're in a nest of vipers with your only resources being the Emperor's feelings for you and your knowledge of the plot spoilers
Also your owners have your firstborn child and are going to blackmail you as much as they can
You can try not to antagonise the Empress, but she's never going to like you because you're sleeping with her husband
You're probably mad at the Emperor and Empress and you have every reason to be - they're the politically powerful leaders of this horrible slave society!
Your fantasy at this point is probably a people's revolution where both Emperor and Empress get the guillotine and slavery gets outlawed, but you're a normal twenty-first-century person, you probably don't know how to organise one of those things
You might be able to use plot spoilers, recommend the Emperor do policies that counter the secret conquest plans of the neighbouring empire, except your power depends on the Emperor viewing you as brainless and compliant, so this might not go the way you hope
Since you're now the main character there's a chance the male lead, the other Emperor, will get attracted to you, but you offer him zero political benefits so he's not going to marry you
You'll give birth to your second child, the Emperor believes it's his but it's the wrong gender for what he wants in an heir
At least you'll get the best of period available midwifery this time, hope your doctor remembers to wash his hands
You're not going to have another child with the Emperor, he's infertile, so good luck organising a discreet affair with another man, it will probably get you killed if the Emperor finds out
Your best chance is probably ask the Emperor to marry you off to some rich and tolerant nobleman, this was done in RL history to royal mistresses
Now you're married and permanently free from slavery, hopefully you can pay a final ransom to your former owners to get custody of your firstborn child and send him somewhere safe
You might get really lucky and have a son with your husband that the Emperor believes is his, but probably you don't even want to go through childbirth again
Hopefully retire to a luxury life with your husband, join or create a local abolitionist society and support it with your wealth
Mediocre happy ending
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