#some rare nostalgic fandom posting on this blog

[breathetoseethetruth]

Quinntana, Beklena, Daensa, Fayana and Shoot, my beloved!

[monmelia]

Monmelia Analysis Part 2: Elevators, Gem Crush & Growing Closer (20x04-20x06)

First of all thanks to anyone who engaged with the first blog! The fandom is pretty small at this point so I really wasn’t expecting anyone to see it, let alone interact with it, but it’s good to know people are enjoying it.

So picking up from where we left off with 20x03 where we see Monica and Amelia meet for the first time, I’m going to analyse 20x04 and 20x06 in one post since they don’t have as many scenes in these episodes. Their first scene in 20x04 is an infamous elevator scene (or lift as we say in England, but for the purpose of this blog I'll say elevator). 

We know that elevator scenes in Grey’s are poignant, and they’re often used as settings for major emotional and narrative shifts between characters, such as declarations of love, confrontations, or moments of deep personal realisation. Over the years, elevator scenes have become a recognisable element of Grey’s storytelling, so we the viewers associate these scenes with some of the most iconic moments in the series, making each new elevator scene carry emotional weight and nostalgia, especially as new generations of characters carry on the tradition.

And to think about it on a deeper level (as I always do, which if you read these blogs regularly I’m sure you’ll come to realise), it makes sense why the writers choose elevators as the setting for such catalyst moments, beyond the obvious nostalgic reasons:

Intimacy and Privacy: The confined space of an elevator forces characters into close proximity, creating a sense of intimacy and vulnerability that amplifies emotional moments. The characters are in a hospital bustling with people, so the elevator becomes a rare place of solitude where characters are compelled to confront their emotions without interruption.

Symbolism of Transition: Elevators physically move between floors, symbolising transitions and changes, both personal and professional. They represent a space where characters are in between places—just as they might be between life-changing decisions or personal growth. For example, Meredith and Derek’s relationship featured several pivotal moments in elevators, reinforcing the idea that they were constantly moving, both emotionally and in their complicated relationship status.

Emotional Tension and Release: The elevator serves as a place where tensions that have been building elsewhere in the episode can come to a head. The enclosed setting heightens the stakes, and characters often reveal truths or make decisions they might not have made in an open setting. The vulnerability of an elevator scene lets characters’ emotions take centre stage, leading to honest interactions that resonate with audiences.

Through these elements, the writers turn elevators into spaces where some of the show’s most memorable, heartfelt, and transformative moments unfold. And what do we get right at the start of Monmelia’s arc? An elevator scene. Or, an almost elevator scene, because Amelia opts to take the stairs. In cultivating feelings of nostalgia, the writers do a good job of paralleling such scenes, and we can draw comparison between 01x02 with Meredith and Derek and 15x06 with Meredith, DeLuca and Link. 

Just as Amelia does in 20x04, Meredith opts to take the stairs to avoid tension and being trapped in an intimate setting with potential love interests. It’s interesting that Amelia is happy to take the elevator with Owen, a character who she already shares a romantic history with, but as soon as Monica arrives she opts to take the stairs despite having already spent time waiting for the elevator. This suggests that despite barely knowing Monica, something about her stirs something up in Amelia already.

Narratively it could just be that Amelia just feels annoyed by Monica at this point due to the tension between them we’ve seen so far, but metaphorically we know that these scenes foreshadow romantic connection due to the previous parallels, so Amelia taking the stairs definitely means something.

Another scene that could be compared is one with Derek in 04x13, in which he finds himself stuck in an elevator with Addison, Meredith and Rose. When Mark gets into the elevator, he quips, “I bet you wish you’d taken the stairs.” This moment is layered with humour and tension as Derek’s romantic entanglements are uncomfortably visible in one confined space. The elevator becomes a metaphor for Derek’s life at that point—he’s figuratively “stuck” in his emotional entanglements and unresolved feelings, especially in relation to Meredith. It’s a space where his past, present, and future love life collide, reminding him of the complications and choices he must confront. Mark’s comment metaphorically hints that Derek’s romantic choices, which have brought him to this point, might have been avoidable had he approached relationships with clearer intentions or self-awareness.

In 20x04, Amelia’s decision to take the stairs may point to Monica, but Owen’s presence as the other character in the scene could be intentional if we compare it to the scene with Derek. Given Amelia’s history with Owen and her developing interest in Monica (however subtle it may be at this point), this choice could be symbolic of Amelia’s evolution and her need to distance herself from complicated romantic and professional entanglements. 

The parallel highlights two siblings who have both had their struggles with love and growth, but unlike Derek, who was physically confined by the elevator with his past, Amelia proactively chooses to “take the stairs,” symbolising her desire to break free from patterns that have historically complicated her relationships and kept her “stuck”. By avoiding the elevator, she avoids the forced intimacy and tension that the space would bring, signifying a newfound self-awareness and control over her choices. 

Not only does this parallel emphasise the generational growth in the Shepherd family, it shows character development for Amelia, which is something I highlighted as being significant to her in finding long-lasting love in my last blog. So if there’s one thing I can say I love about Monmelia so far, it's that we’re seeing growth from Amelia already. Rather than seeing her dive in head first into a new relationship, we’re seeing her make decisions based purely on herself. Her will to take the stairs implies a conscious choice to separate herself from old dynamics and patterns, showcasing her readiness to approach new relationships with clarity.

Another thing that I highlighted in my last blog was the way that Monica challenged Amelia, despite barely knowing her. I think this is somewhat of a fundamental dynamic between them because of their contrasting personalities. Whilst Amelia is a character we know to be impulsive and emotionally intense, Monica seems to be the opposite of that, so her personality innately balances out Amelia’s.

Monica approaches things more realistically, and this is evidenced in the scene where they are discussing the foetal surgery being cancelled. Monica instantly gets the mother’s fears, acknowledging how daunting the procedure sounds. She’s understanding and non-judgemental, indicating her ability to balance clinical detachment with genuine empathy. We can see how she respects the patient’s through her pragmatism.  

In contrast, Amelia’s reaction is marked by her disappointment, as she believes the surgery offers the baby the best chance. Her frustration reveals her dedication to high-risk procedures and her drive to use her expertise to make a difference, despite the inherent challenges. Amelia’s emotional investment emphasises her need for meaningful impact, an important part of her identity as a surgeon.

Monica’s calm, rational acknowledgment of the surgery’s risks offers a complementary perspective to Amelia’s drive and determination. The scene shows how Monica’s grounded nature challenges Amelia’s intensity, potentially guiding Amelia toward more self-awareness and patience. This interaction serves as a stepping stone in developing both their professional and personal relationship, illustrating how they might balance each other’s strengths and weaknesses in emotionally charged situations. 

As the episode progresses we see additional layers to their competitive rivalry as they dispute over Lucas. This underlines the tension in their relationship, but it’s not purely antagonistic. They are both clearly dedicated to their patients, and while they may clash, there’s an apparent mutual respect that’s developing. Whilst Amelia appeared to back down and listen to Monica in the previous scene when the surgery was cancelled, it’s the opposite here, with Monica relenting to let Lucas work with Amelia. This foreshadows a supportive yet challenging relationship, with each willing to push the other’s boundaries but also knowing when to surrender. Amelia’s authority and confidence, paired with Monica’s unflinching pragmatism, creates a layered relationship that promises further complexity in both professional and personal spaces.

We later see Amelia complaining about Lucas which Monica overhears and confronts her about. I find it interesting how much Monica seems to insert herself in Amelia’s business. She’s merely passing and heading home after a long day at work, anyone would think she’d be in a rush to get out of there, but instead she slows and navigates her attention to Amelia. She’s engaged enough to hear what Amelia is saying, and inserts her opinion. This symbolises two things to me. 1. Monica is somewhat invested in Amelia and 2. She’s not afraid to call her out (which I’ve probably touched on enough already in terms of Monica constantly challenging her).

It’s a short scene between them, but it’s also a scene that I feel subtly moves them along, because whilst we’ve seen the challenging side of their dynamic play out before it’s the first time we see a shift into territory that showcases more support. Monica opens on this by finding out the reasons that Amelia is upset with Lucas. However small the gesture is, it seems meaningful that Monica wants to stick around and understand Amelia’s frustrations from a place of genuine curiousity. She surely has better things to do now she has finished work, but she stays and listens to Amelia as she opens up about the fact Lucas is her nephew and she’s finding it hard to live with him. 

The scene is a catalyst to a conversation that’s more personal and not focused solely on work, further expanded when Monica offers Amelia a ride home. It’s a friendly gesture that suggests Monica is open to supporting Amelia outside of work boundaries. Although Amelia declines, this moment subtly builds trust, as Monica demonstrates her willingness to be there for Amelia beyond professional interactions. 

From Amelia’s perspective, her obvious awkwardness and nervous refusal suggests an underlying hesitation to engage with Monica on a more personal level. This reluctance mirrors her earlier decision to avoid the elevator with Monica, indicating a pattern of keeping emotional distance. By declining the ride, Amelia maintains control over the boundaries between her and Monica, perhaps out of a mix of vulnerability and professional caution.

We do have to consider as part of this though, why the need for boundaries in the first place if Monica is just a friend? It’s clear that something about Monica makes Amelia set these internal rules with herself right from the offset.

This repeated avoidance could symbolise Amelia’s ongoing struggle with intimacy and her cautious approach to new relationships, especially as she processes her past relationship challenges. Choosing not to rely on Monica here subtly suggests that Amelia isn’t yet ready to open herself up, even in small, casual ways, indicating a slow-burn tension between her desire for connection and her instinct to remain guarded. Not only does this reinforce Amelia’s growth within herself before rushing into relationships, it’s a potential foreshadow of their dynamic at large. Knowing what we know with the more recent episodes when Monica doesn’t pursue Amelia’s offer of going on a date (a whole separate blog on this later) it’s possible the storyline is going to go down the route of Amelia being quite guarded after what she perceives as a rejection, thus having to learn to become more comfortable stepping into a space of trust and support with Monica. We can safely say that even in the beginning, their storyline has the foundations of a slow burn, will they/won’t they etc.

Monica’s response to Amelia’s conflict with Lucas is indicative of her steady, supportive nature, highlighting her ability to maintain perspective even in a demanding environment. She indirectly compliments Amelia by stating “his aunt just performed groundbreaking surgery and he can’t even enter labs correctly.” which is likely an attempt to soften Amelia’s frustration and remind her of her own achievements. Amelia is too concerned about Monica’s labs being messed up to recognise the praise, but Monica does make sure to directly congratulate Amelia before she leaves.

Overall the scene depicts the evolving friendship between Amelia and Monica, moving from competitive friction to a bond of support. Monica’s empathetic response and practical advice reflects a deepening understanding of Amelia’s personal challenges, while Amelia’s openness about her relationship with Lucas shows she’s becoming more comfortable around Monica. Not comfortable enough to be in an enclosed space like a car or an elevator, but we’re getting there! 

As we go to 20x06 we see the support and vulnerability between them expand even further with the Gem Crush scene (probably my fave s20 scene of theirs). It’s the first time we see Monica in a more unguarded light, as opposed to her usual manner of calm and composed. Even the way she is sitting showcases her vulnerability, with her legs crossed like a child. She zones out and immerses herself in her game, suggesting she needs a mental escape, hinting at the emotional toll her work takes on her. It’s as if Amelia immediately picks up on the fact Monica isn’t okay as she stops to talk to her. The same Amelia who ordinarily seems to avoid being alone with Monica, feels compelled to be there for her in a time of need. This is significant, as it’s the first time we see Amelia remove the boundaries she’s created for herself to place herself in what could be determined as an intimate setting with Monica.

As their conversation unfolds and Monica reveals that she recently lost a patient, we see from the detail she goes into that she’s sharing a deeply personal and emotionally raw experience with Amelia. This openness is Monica’s first significant step in revealing her own humanity, breaking down the professional facade she usually maintains. Her vulnerability in discussing this patient loss allows Amelia to see a more intimate side of Monica, bridging the gap between them in a way that’s beyond their typical competitive or professional interactions.

It’s a step further than the growth shown in 20x04, because it’s a situation that involves more emotion, and it’s the first time we get to see Amelia step up into a supportive role, when it’s typically Monica calming or guiding her, often offering grounded perspectives that help Amelia navigate professional and personal challenges. Here, however, the roles are reversed. Amelia is the one who listens and provides comfort, showing her capacity to be there for others without centering her own experiences or emotions.

I’ve highlighted before my thoughts around Amelia’s past relationships, and how they often reveal her tendency to lean on others for stability. This moment signals a healthier balance in Amelia’s relationships. While she is accustomed to being the one in need of reassurance and comfort, this dynamic shift with Monica highlights her ability to provide it as well. It’s a sign of her ongoing healing, suggesting that she’s learning to be present for others, independent of her own emotional needs.  

By simply sitting with Monica as she processes the loss of her patient, Amelia demonstrates a new level of empathy and emotional strength. Instead of offering solutions or shifting the focus, she just listens, allowing Monica to share her pain. This act of companionship ultimately strengthens their bond, marking a transformative moment in Amelia’s journey toward more balanced, supportive relationships.

My favourite part of the scene is when Monica invites Amelia to play the game with her. It’s a small but deeply meaningful gesture that speaks to the growing intimacy and trust between them. Typically reserved and focused, Monica rarely lets down her guard, especially in a professional setting. By inviting Amelia into her personal space of relaxation—a rare moment where she’s vulnerable and off-duty—Monica signals a willingness to be seen as a complete person, not just as a surgeon or authority figure. It's significant that she feels Amelia's presence as a comfort to her, and wants her to stay and continue to provide that feeling.

This allows Amelia to see a side of Monica that few others likely see. It’s a signal that she’s comfortable enough to let Amelia witness her coping mechanisms, her quiet moments, and her ways of dealing with the heavy emotional toll of her work. In turn, this invitation represents an implicit trust in Amelia, positioning her as someone Monica feels safe with, even in her moments of vulnerability.

For Amelia, accepting the invitation marks a reciprocal moment of companionship, allowing her to connect with Monica in a low-pressure, non-professional way. Their shared activity becomes a space where both can unwind, momentarily shedding the weight of their stressful job roles. This seemingly simple invitation thus deepens their bond further, highlighting that their connection is evolving from professional respect to genuine companionship. 

And so honestly, this scene feels like a turning point for me, and sets a precedent for the events that unfold in 20x08, which I’ll discuss in my next blog. It’s significant seeing them share that space and time together, and if we think of elevators representing a confined space that amplifies tension, intimacy, and sometimes forced confrontation, the space they share to play the game represents a relaxed, open, and emotionally safe space where Monica and Amelia can connect.

It’s a stepping stone to the transition, the tension, the drama, the potential romance that comes with an elevator scene. They’re not ready for that heightened intensity yet. Instead, they’re beginning in a comfortable, open space where they can bond without pressure. This is particularly important for Amelia who we know is very guarded and who up until this point we have seen as quite avoidant towards Monica.

So I’ll end this by saying I love take the gem crush scene because it fits them right now, and it’s important to their story, and IMO it’s just the start.

Thanks for reading :)

[tenrousei-kuroi]

Wait, wait— so you write the most wicked Starcest smut I’ve ever seen AND you’re also just a super knowledgeable and insightful person when it comes to the series, fandom history and literature?? I’m obsessed! I just read through your page and you just seem like the kind of person I could listen to talk about their interests for hours, haha. I was curious, as someone whose been in the Starcest fandom for so long do you read alot of fanfics yourself? Do you have any recommendations— any favorites or current fixations? I’d love to see what tickles your brain 😊❤️

Nice to meet you! I'm always thrilled to find people who vibe with my particular brand of weirdness, and I love chatting! So feel free to ping me or email me whenever. And thank you for being so sweet! ʚ♡⃛ɞ(ू•ᴗ•ू❁)

Once upon a long time ago I remember keeping most of my stuff to myself, cluttering up my hard drive but never getting posted anywhere, because I was convinced there just couldn't be that many people besides me who'd want to read it. Holy mackerel was I wrong! Honestly I'm still working through the backlog, there's a lot of stuff just hiding out in random folders on old laptops of mine, lol.

Shockingly I'll actually read much more than just Sirius/Regulus, it's just that The Boys(tm) are the only pairing that holds my attention enough for me to sit down and write most of the time.

I've pulled up some of the "old school" Sirius/Regulus shenanigans I couldn't tear my eyes from as a kid. And I tried to pull ones that I haven't mentioned on here as much, so hopefully they're "new" recs. I added the links if I could find them...though it appears that LiveJournal is now requiring a login to view a lot of these nowadays...and in revisiting some of them I realized that my own LJ has finally been purged by the website lol. Fifteen years of breaking their TOS by posting incestuous underage smutfics and it was the crime of not logging in for two years that finally did me in, I'm laughing so hard!

Tenkuroi's Nostalgic Recs List:

"Untitled (O Tannenbaum)" Forsanethaec

"And in the grave I see thee beast" Forsanethaec

"A Fortnight Dead" Forsanethaec

"Idle Threat" Sabethea

"The Very Dead of Winter" Spessartine

"Liturgy" Spessartine

"Opus" Spessartine (there used to be a wonderful Spanish translation of this hanging around but I can't find it back!)

"The Sun Burst Through in Unlooked For Directions" Spessartine

"Some Ways of Having Loving" Marseverlasting

"Brilliance" DeathJunkE

And then there's this masterpiece that I saved to my computer probably 12+ years ago...but I didn't write down who wrote it! Or even the title (teenage me wasn't the most forward-thinking). And it seems to have completely disappeared from the internet. It was a LiveJournal user, that's all I remember. But I positively love this fic! So much that I basically copied it when I wrote Ticigi's fic for HP Cest Fest 2022.

And of course "A Thousand Year's Good Wine", which is my personal white whale that I will likely go to my grave never reading again, lol. Every year I feel like I get closer and closer to forgetting just what about it was so special...

If we yank my brain out of 2010 and fast forward to today, I feel like there's a lot more delicious Sirius/Regulus to be had. Once upon a time, there was literally not a single Sirius/Regulus fic I hadn't read. If it was on Ao3, FF.net, LJ, IJ, or someone's personal blog, I'd seen it. Every Google results page for "Sirius/Regulus" had been carefully combed through. But today? I'm sure I'm missing a lot that's around. I'm not even caught up fully on Ao3 at the moment, and that's saying something! There's so much more to choose from now, although there has also been a noticeable shift in tone, and something of a trade-off, I feel.

A lot (by which I mean almost all) of older Sirius/Regulus was canon-compliant, and it was rare to find anything that didn't end with Reggie dead. (A notable exception would be earthphoenix and esc_azkaban's Sirius/Regulus/Severus fics,) So for those who like me want to indulge in pretending he made it out okay--or at least partake in some canon-divergence--this is the decade to be living in, lol.

However, RegulusLives! aside, we don't see nearly as much of the pretentious, purple-soaked goodness that saturated LJ and InsaneJournal back in the day. If only the past and present could meet somewhere in the middle! (ﾉ｀Д´)ﾉ

This might be confusing to some people but I'm also always down for some platonic Sirius|Regulus and the fastest way to obsess me is to write a fic where Sirius somehow ends up with custody of his brother. I think Riakida did a fic like that a year or two back that I fell in love with pretty quickly.

And we have so many longfics now! Sirius/Regulus never used to be the kind of pairing that got more than a one-shot (blame Reggie's death lol). So part of me is still getting used to finding my OTP in fics that I can actually follow and look forward to updates and such... "we could swim inside these crowds" by waitforthespark is one I've been following for awhile now. (Updates probably seem slow to everyone but me, the reigning champion of going literal years between chapters on my own fics.)

I'm curious, what drew you to the madness my stuff and similar works? Do you write as well, or just read? Any amazing gems you've come across in your wanderings?

[fuckyeahmhawkefenris]

This is my first attempt at posting something this way. Don't really have much hope that other people will take to it, but I wanna try!

If you think about it, it's not much different from posting a preview with an outgoing link to other sites that do allow such content. At least this way your work still remains on tumblr. I really believe it can work!

Here's the idea:

You post your inappropriate masterpiece on your blog => it gets flagged almost immediately (or not) => you still reblog it to the underground porn blog (of which you must become a member first) => you make another original post on your blog where you put a tiny safe preview - with a link to your unsafeforwork post on the 18plus blog - and you add all the possible tags you can think of for other people to be able to find it through public search.

(the permalink to a flagged post that you'll want to put into your preview)

The serious downside is the near complete absence of reaction from those who do end up seeing your work. Most people have always been shy about reblogging and even liking expleessit content, and there's little chance that will change. So the best you could expect from it is likes. If they are feeling comfortable, maybe even a comment in a reply (pretty sure they are still viewable even on a flagged post). It is the rare case of when reblogging the original is completely useless. Such a post won't show up on a blog, can't be seen on dashboard, and the only way for the blog owner to be able to view it is to have a link to it (on their blog only). The author of the post also won't be able to see any tags on reblogged flagged posts.

So it is best to concentrate on the preview picture. Treat it as the thing you wish to share with everyone, and make sure the pv and the whole picture are interconnected linking back to each other.

Of course it will take a long time to spread the word and get people to create and share their questionable content in such an unconventional way (and considering the dying state of our fandom, will they even want to make something new?).

But I'll keep reblogging this post until someone reacts in some way. I can be pretty stubborn.

Been brainsorming for a sollution ever since the ban was first announced in 2018. Not gonna let this go.

All this is making me a little nostalgic about livejournal with it's members-only communities...

post/751263278367375360 https://www.tumblr.com/mhawkeandfenris18plus/756365409465352192

[words-writ-in-starlight]

If you ever go on a rant about BBC Merlin and Arthur's development, I will LISTEN and I will CHEER. Seriously. Last Minute Reveal SUCKED. He should have found out at the end of season 3, or early season 4. Season 4 should have been Arthur dealing with the revelation of Merlin's magic, the implications, Merlin's loyalty to him versus his loyalty to his father, and his evolving moral struggle. Season 5 should have been the Golden Kingdom and hijinks, not the fucking clusterfuck we got. UGH

Actually, I’ve already bitched kind of at length about Merlin, but tbh if you’re still interested I could definitely bitch more?  I might need a specific topic though because “just complain generally about this show” one time got me into 7K words of trouble with the SPN fandom.

[oinker-33]

A Little Bit Of History: Old Country Humans!

(Heads up - I cannot find the tag for this, so I'm gonna say, trigger warning for Nazi symbols - don't worry, this blog post is just for educational purposes! I have done my best to blur them, however I'm not a very attuned seeker.)

Hey guys, this would usually be a Twitter thread but Elongated Muskrat wants me to pay and I ain’t doing that! So we’re making a Tumblr blogpost!

I don’t know how alive the countryhumans fandom is on here, but I thought I might make a post about something I find cool: this idea is actually pretty old!

See, back in the olden days, after World War 1, political cartoons changed - people began to experiment with new ways of expressing themselves and how they felt, beyond just redrawing what was happening.

This era, which I like to call the experimental era, was from ~1930-1980. Nowadays, political cartoonists are back to being unoriginal little shits, which gives them their grotesque impression in people's minds. But no, there's more to this art form!

There used to be characters used to represent countries. The most popular example is Uncle Sam, we know him, we love him, you even see him in countryhumans art today. And wow, is he old! Look at him in this cartoon from 1947! (Image credi: KB2 - that's all we know about this artist, other than they were from France)

Here, the characters, from left to right are Marianne for France, Gretchen/Germania for Germany, Uncle Sam for the United States, and John Bull for the United Kingdom.

There are two characters for Germany, one is Gretchen/Germania, which is a cruel old woman and I personally dislike because of her misogynistic under tones - German women were disliked for their assertiveness and stereotyped as mean or bitchy. Not their fault particularly - after World War 2 Germany began to shift over to more matriarchal society over a patriarchy, which had been their structure on and off over the years. (Image credit: Pol Ferjac - once again, that's all we know about the artist except their French nationality)

The other one is Michel, who is a chubby, sweet, short, and submissive little man who wears pajamas constantly, keeps having kids with uncooperative mothers (does he birth them himself?), and is a bit lazy. (Image credit to the Saar section of the European movement - most likely multiple artists worked on this)

He was every definition of a wife guy for Marianne, worshipping his lovely woman even if she rejected him. He rarely fought with her, except on the matter of his children, which he would get very defensive about.

Their gender roles were entirely reversed - Marianne took on the role of a man at the time, and Michel, a woman. Why this was collectively decided is not clear to me - perhaps it was what was appropriate to their geopolitics at the time, or a reflection of German societal expectations. Either way, they're the couple (I drew this one on a card for my French teacher)

They fell out of usage after the De Gaulle and Adenauer days as they were thought to be their couple, their children, not appropriate for Giscard d'Estaing and Schmidt, though in the 80s they would be used again with Kohl and Mitterrand because of their relationship making people nostalgic.

Admittedly, there aren't a lot of other countries that I have seen. Some rarer ones include Meisje, who represents the Netherlands (Image credit: Ernst Maria)

Or, this interesting cartoon by Hanns Erich Köhler where he designs people for Italy, Belgium, the Netherlands, Luxembourg, and Denmark, Sweden, and Norway.

So, why did they exist?

Well, some people didn't have access to the information we do. It wasn't easy to find out who ran what, and what they looked like for that manner. They were especially useful during the 50s because governments were in chaos, and having someone just be the entire country saved the headache of figuring out who was ruler at the time. They were often adapted from children's characters as well, bringing nostalgia and kinship.

But then pictures of people became much more wildly available as news networks got back on their feet. After De Gaulle and Adenauer, Marianne and Michel, who were the most utilized outside of Uncle Sam, were laid to rest with their real life equivalents, never brought up again except for nostalgia purposes. Even the Greeks, who lagged behind their German idol, found Kohl and Mitterrand to be much more engaging.

I made my own, by the way. I will probably make another blog explaining each one, since this one is getting much too long.

Thanks for reading!

[doomedideas]

Mcytblr 2021 Elections

Hello again, Mcytblr! We’ve got another round of elections coming up, run by @mcytblr-elections-2021, and once again reported on by Main Journalist DoomedIdeas. To those of you who don’t know about the elections, consider this a good introduction! We’ll be going over what they are, what’s happening, and some information on the team running this whole event. Hope to see you running, and as always, don’t look back. The elections are coming up, and this time, the best we can do is keep moving forwards! First of all, keep in mind that these are not the same elections as before. This cycle is run by new people, with new candidates, and let’s treat them all with respect, please. If you’d like to join, it’s really easy- find yourself between 1 and 7 other runningmates, make a campaign, register with the mods of the elections, and go wild. Posts about the election run from propaganda, to slander, to bystander memes, and even some amazing fanart- keep on the lookout for that! 

Now that the introduction is complete, I’d like some of the moderators themselves to tell you about what’s going on. I was able to get an interview with @braveboyhalo (ginger) and @kiwilovescitrusfruit (kiwi), two admins of this year’s elections. Here’s what they had to say. (Quotes taken directly from source, with slight editing for clarity and comprehension.)

Did you have any involvement with the 2020 elections, and what do you think about them? Ginger: “I was involved in that, yeah. I did pretty okay and I enjoyed them a lot! I’m not much into roleplay but there were a lot of other reasons it was fun, I made a couple friends.” Kiwi: “I actually had zero influence at the time! I was just getting into the mcyt community after several years without, so it was around that time I started originally getting into the fandom. I saw a few posts about it on and off, but I never participated or really followed through on it!”

Do you think the past elections will influence this one, and if so, how? Kiwi: “They definitely have a huge influence, a lot of people have been nostalgic for the ways things used to be. I’ve heard several comments already that this season of the election reminds them a lot of the original! Besides, our inspiration to start this was the original elections and our desire to improve upon the second ones.”

What do you think of some of the currently running parties? Ginger: “We have a lot of them. Most of them have pretty, uh, funny names, which sets the tone for the election. A couple of the parties already have posters and such, so they’re pretty passionate, which is surprising.” Kiwi: “Well, they’re… a lot! [UNNAMED PARTY] kind of scares me. A lot of the parties kind of scare me! There are a lot of funny, cool, popular and talented people in the running, and I encourage everyone to go through our blog and check out each and every person who’s up to doing this. It takes a lot of courage to run for president.”

What do you expect to see in the upcoming weeks? Ginger: “The mod team and I are midway through setting up the official discord and making it able to hold enough people. We have a couple parties forming already, so we’re trying to keep it going while making sure everyone gets what they need.” Kiwi: “I expect to see [TRANSCRIPT PARTIALLY LOST]. The planning discord is full of sparkly banners [LOST], big runners have [LOST], and the tags are fuller than ever! This is going down hard in the community, and I couldn’t be more excited! I’m also hoping for cool art. I’m always hoping for cool art.”

What is the modding situation like? Ginger: “We’re planning to add a lot more regulation and modding so it stays friendly. Our bot coder is setting up a ticket/report system, and we’re going to have a lot of pretty active people modding to keep chats safe. We don’t want a lot of drama or hurt feelings, so I myself and some people I trust to be impartial and fair will be actively modding for most of it.”

Is there anything else you’d like to say to the readers? Ginger: “I’d just like to thank everyone for giving us a chance, and i’m glad we can get a lot of new or shy people into the active mcytblr community.” Kiwi: “I’d like to say that I’m very proud of everyone who’s come together to run for the elections, I’m very excited for what’s going forward. Also, hermitblr, please feel free to join. You guys know elections and corruption, and are really cool. I just think it would be fun!”

Overall, this election is absolutely full of new faces, and trying to draw more in. It’s well set up, the candidates are raring to go, and everything will turn out just fine. Feel free to run, vote, and get involved in any way you wish- The Mcytblr 2021 Elections welcome everybody, and we’d be glad to see you here!

(Please remember that the Journalist is unbiased, and these statements are relatively unedited. If you have any questions or concerns, our inbox is always open, and we are happy to accept anything from slight corrections to letters to the Editor.)

[fayrinferno]

Tagging is exhausting and so is Tumblr, yet I’m still here (and why)

So despite all the crap that has been going on now with Post+ and tumblr trying us again (they won’t stop until there’s noone left but the pornblogs, I guess), I still browse here, enjoy my parts of the community, and like a ton of posts... but very rarely get around actually posting... and when I do, I put like 100 reblogs in the queue, trying to tag stuff, which, ngl, exhausts me. I think I might change that habit I had ever since joining tumblr in... 2013, I think? Crazy.

So unless I have something to say, I’ll just try to hit reblog/queue instead of like. Without tags. I might add them later via the mass post editor. Might not. That’s the only way I can currently ensure some sort of regular activity and presence here, while being super busy and save the actual free time I have for something more creative/productive.

I’d like to stay in touch because I have not yet switched to other platforms as many did and if I was supposed to do my own original posts only, well, it would just be an occasional tumbleweed rolling around the desert. And I mean, once in two months occasional. Nobody cares about that. Well, nobody might care about this either, but felt like saying something to explain the change. This won’t concern my other blogs (that are neglected again, I’m aware), I’ll just try a little experiment here.

So why even continue trying with this hellsite? Well, I could start a twitter account, but tbh, I don’t see it as an alternative for my content and, at this point, I only see my own website as one. I want to continue with the fandom translation, writing, and art as well, and I don’t see myself posting that on twitter, I really don’t. This site had the perfect potential for fandom (plus fandom porn, let’s be honest... regular porn, too, but that’s beside the point). But it never continued to improve and develop as such. Instead, it just puts on parts of shitty supermarket costumes it can afford to try and impersonate some more successful and trendier websites that have long perfected them because, hello, they specialized on them and invested much more effort and resources than tumblr ever could.

Over the years, they tried to add parts of whatever social media site/app was in at the time (now it’s patreon I guess), but they couldn’t embrace what it really is, which is a fandom hellhole full of people nostalgic for livejournal or myspace. I’m not here to become an influencer or to make extra 5 bucks; I’m here because I have a handful of friends and mutuals here that I, huge surprise, don’t want to put behind paywall; because I can still html-edit my profile and pretend it’s a website and still fill my dash with such content as I like instead of being constantly monetized by consuming monetized vomit and weird psyop content attacking me from all sides in what is supposed to be my free time.

Anyway, tl;dr, less tags and more posts from now on.

[rhapsodyinprogress]

A story about me, The West Wing, why returning to the fandom means so much to me, and how you’re all just going to have to deal with endless TWW posts on my disaster blog for the foreseeable future. Behind the cut for (incredibly self-indulgent) length:

In the spring of 2000, I, in a fit of end-of-the-school-year ennui, flopped my 14-year old self into the couch in my living room and watched the season finale of some political drama my parents were into at the time.

“What is this?” I asked, only mildly interested because it was neither The X-Files nor Buffy and thus had no one fighting monsters which meant it was beneath my notice.

“The West Wing,” my mom said, “It’s really good, I think you’d like it,”

“It’s about American politics,” said I, in the manner of one discussing a very large slug crawling up the wall. I was both a teenager and Canadian and thought, therefore, that nothing could be less exciting.

“Yes, but it’s not just about that,” my Mom replies, “Just watch and see what you think,”

So did. I sat through “What Kind of Day has it Been” . Y’all know how that episode ends, though it was not just the ending that grabbed me. After, I quietly excused myself to go sit on the family computer for three hours looking up EVERY SINGLE THING I could find about this show. Who were these people? What did their job titles mean? Were the blond assistant and her cute boss in love? IT WAS SO IMPORTANT ALL OF A SUDDEN.

I watched the reruns over the summer. As many as they aired (it would be a while before I actually managed to watch season 1 in its entirety) and by the time ITSOTG aired I was ALL IN. During the chaos of the opening scenes we were predicting who besides the president was shot and my mom goes, “It’s going to be the young cute one. Not Rob Lowe...”

“Sam,” I interrupted.

“....the other one,”

“Josh,” I supplied immediately.

And my mother, who had watched me obsess over the X-Files since I was 10, who knew I was unstoppable once I decided to fixate on something, just kind of looked at me and went, “Oh boy,”

Cue one of the most intense love affairs I have ever had with a show. I printed this picture:

and taped it to my closet beside the boy bands and the magazine cut outs and the endless X-Files and Buffy posters I already had. I devoted one little corner of my wall to pictures of Josh and Donna, because you better believe I latched onto THAT right away. 

At that point in time, the two major television fandom hubs were Livejournal and the Television Without Pity boards. I lived on there, but posted rarely, because I was still only 15, 16, 17 and super shy and NONE of my IRL friends gave even one shit about this show (”So I’ve been watching The West Wing” I’d tell them in an off-hand way, immediately earning a series of “Did Meg just sprout an extra head?” looks) so I just sort of quietly loved it with all my heart and never talked about it with anyone. 

I wrote fanfiction (BAD, fanfiction - TWW staffers get trapped in a snow storm! Donna has a stalker! Donna and Josh get caught up in a sting operation for inexplicable reasons and have to pretend to be married!), I copied quotes into my notebooks. I think there was even a period where I attempted to draw storyboards for an animated series? Because I was prepping for animation school at that point and CLEARLY  West Wing: The Animated Series was what was missing from the world.

But here’s the thing. I was an anxious, awkward, weird teen. I was an excellent student, not because I was super smart, but because I wrapped all my self-worth into my grades and the opinions of my teachers and thus broke myself keeping my average up. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life, I didn’t have and had never had a romantic partner (which seemed VERY important to me at the time) and though I was “popular” after a fashion, I mostly had a sea of acquaintances and few close friends. And as bizarre as it sounds, TWW was the thing I turned to when the anxiety spiral got too intense.

There was something comforting about these incredibly smart, ferociously competent people who made huge mistakes and had massive crisis of confidence and struggled and needed each other and all of this messy, complicated stuff. I loved those people. I loved how much they loved each other. The show made me a better writer, certainly, and enormously impacted my sense of humour, and honestly I think made me smarter somehow?  Like it influenced my ability to problem solve and think critically. Maybe I’m giving it too much credit  I don’t really know, but it certainly FELT like it.

And then the show ended, and I only had seasons 1 & 2 on DVD and couldn’t afford the rest and eventually they stopped airing reruns and I was 20 by then and clawing my way through art college and I just... let the show fade back into something I loved intensely once but wasn’t going to think of again.

And then 2020 happened. 

Oh BOY did 2020 ever happen.

By the time I started hearing about the “When we all vote” special, I had watched my way through all my nostalgic “comfort” shows: X-Files, Buffy, Firefly, Dr. Who, Grey’s Anatomy. But TWW was on US Netflix and I hadn’t figured out VPNs yet, lol.

I was, at that point, also in the midst of just a terrible mental health patch. Like, I had no idea how I was getting through the end of the year. I waited for the HBO special to show up on Crave. It was something to look forward to, and there were so many cast interviews coming out, it was a great distraction. When I finally got to watch, I literally sobbed all the way through, while simultaneously grinning from ear to ear. 

So I got me a VPN, and the re-watch began.

And suddenly, my ability to write (which is an ENORMOUS part of my, like, soul) came back. I finished two fanfics, started working on three more. I came back to tumblr and found SO MANY other people who had either done a 2020 re-watch just like me, or who chose that year to watch for the first time. Fans younger than me and older than me and in exactly the same boat as me and OH MAN. It has just helped my heart SO MUCH.

I’m getting so much joy out of being part of the community around this show that saved me a bunch of times as a teenager and then came around and did it again now that I’m in my 30s. 

So all this to say, if you’ve followed me recently, welcome! I’m so happy you’re here. And I’m SO HAPPY to be here.

[thegirlintheswivelchair]

30 questions about me!

I was tagged by @thsquad (and I think someone else tagged me a loooong time ago, sorry I can’t remember whoever you are!)

1. Name/nickname: Kena! I’d respond to Kenni...?

2. Star sign: Taurus

3. Height: 5′10″

4. Birthday: May 11

5. Favourite Bands: Oh lord, um Simon & Garfunkle, Coldplay, Muse, the Beatles, Two Steps From Hell, Christine and the Queens, and so many others I can’t think of...

6. Time: 6pm on the dot!

7. Favourite Solo Artists: Ed Sheeran, Ben Platt, Sia, Avril Lavigne, David Bowie...again those are off the top of my head!

8. Song stuck in your head: Bad Habits by Ed Sheeran

9. Last movie you watched: Black Widow (it was so great!)

10. Fun Fact: About me or in general? If its me, then I have moved more than 15 times in my life. If its in general, then snow leopards are one of thr only large felines that can’t roar!

11. Last Show I watched: Phineas and Ferb (I was feeling nostalgic, also that show still is so hilarious!)

12. When I created this blog: I cannot remember but sometime right before christmas last year.

13. What I post: Marvel, Tom & Co, shit posts, and randomly things from other fandoms I like

14. Last thing I googled: Harry Holland photos, lol for a cover photo of my latest fic about him

15. Other blogs: Yeah, I got another one! :)

16. Do I get asks: Rarely, if I do its some of my lovely moots saying hi or indulging me ask game fun!

17. Why I chose my URL: Shout out to Ned, and my own twist on his title for being peter's “guy in the chair”!

18. Following: 210

19. Followers: 264

20. Average hours of sleep: 6/7 or 8 If i'm lucky (same. wish I was lucky more often!)

21. Lucky number: 44 (Used to be my jersey number in every sport!)

22. Instruments: Boy I wish. I can still play one or two songs on the piano very poorly but that’s it.

23. What am I wearing: Tank top and I’m not sure what you would call these pants, I’d say something close to parachute pants 😆

24. Dream job: writer or anything with books!

25. Favourite food: All of it. No really. I love food. (but if you really needed to choose it might be a tie between Italian and Mexican food)

26. Tea or Coffee: Tea (I love coffee but it makes ya girl sick)

27. Nationality: (US) American

28. Favourite Song: No stop asking my favorites! lol um, a song I really love is 1000 Nights by FRENSHIP

29. Last book I read: I don’t remember outside of grad school books, but I am reading DUNE right now!

30. Top 3 fictional universes I would like to live in: Harry Potter for sure, um I think the world of the King Killer Chronicles would be cool I’d like to learn their magic...and Middle earth feels cliche but the romantic side of it just seems wonderful!

tagging anyone that wants to do this! 

[avengerscompound]

Redoing my Taglist (again)...

If you want to be tagged in my fics, please read under the cut:

The why of it:

Like many writers and creators on Tumblr, I've been experiencing a lack of interaction on this site.  While I understand the engagement on the site, in general, is changing and has been since the great porn ban.  I have also been noticing a drift away from the fandom in general.

Knowing this doesn't change the fact it is discouraging.  It is changing how I personally want to create content.  In the past, I would be encouraged to write more for you.  I would write more requests.  I’d answer asks for headcanons.  Write more neglected characters and rare-pairs.  I'd make sure I'd have a W|W fic every week.  I'd write things that maybe weren't exactly to my taste but I knew it would be well received.

The lack of engagement has changed how I feel about that.  I have already stopped taking requests.  Where I was signing up for a lot of challenges I'm now not.  I’m now going to be writing for me.  I'll still write the looked over characters and rare-pairs and W|W but when I have a story I want to tell.  There will be fewer one-shots and more series.

So what does that mean?

I recently redid my taglist because I felt like I was tagging a bunch of people who didn't want to be tagged.  While the number of people did drop on it; it wasn't nearly as much as I expected given the lack of engagement, and since I did it that engagement has dropped even more.  I have fics I post right now that are getting fewer notes than the number of people I tag and that includes the reblogs I personally make.

The only conclusion I can make is I'm writing things you don't want to read.  Which is fine.  I'm generally enjoying the content I'm making these days.  But tagging people in it who don't want to be tagged is a waste of both my time and yours.  Tagging is annoying and time-consuming and I don't want to be doing it unless the people actually genuinely want me to do it.

I've been wracking my brain lately trying to work out what to do about it.  I considered being like many other writers here who just stopped tagging all together but I honestly don't want to be that person.  I know personally if I don't get tagged by the authors I love I often miss the fic completely, even if they do have a side blog for their writing.  I considered having an I'm only tagging if you comment rule.  But a) that's more time consuming than just tagging you and forgetting about it.  And b) I don’t want to be the person who threatens you to love me.  I am fine with tagging people who don't interact if they genuinely want me to and are reading even if they don't comment.

Then I had an idea.  Because I'm going to be focusing more on story arcs over one-shots I'm going to change my whole system of tagging.  I am getting rid of all the sections.  There will now be PERMANENT and SERIES TITLES.  That's it.  If you go on my permanent tag list you will get tagged in every one-shot I write plus the first chapter of any series I start.  Yes, this will mean if you only like reading Steve you're gonna get tagged in stuff you don't want but it won't happen often and honestly the difference between my everything list and the people on my other lists is insignificant anyway.  After the first chapter of a series, you will have to tell me if you wish to continue being tagged in the series.  I don't care how you tell me.  Send an ask.  DM me. Comment on the fic.  Go to the doc and add yourself in.  If you don't tell me I won't continue tagging you.  That way no one's time is wasted.  You can still keep getting tagged in the content you want.  I don't have to spend ages tagging people in things they have no interest in.

What to do. READ CAREFULLY:

Add your name to the permanent list and/or the series you wish to be tagged in.  If you aren't on the series list you won't be tagged in it.  LINK HERE: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1uoXUNd74dtap11CuDDsQWVBc-Ur_I5H17588yyl-PKk/edit?usp=sharing

When you are tagged in the first chapter of a series ignore it if you have no interest.  If you do want to read it contact me or add yourself to the list for that fic.  If you don't you will no longer be tagged in the fic. (I'll put a Reminder when I tag you)

Remember I do have a side blog where I reblog all my fics. @avengerslibrary​.  If this system doesn't work for you for whatever reason just follow that and turn on notifications.

Currently, the tag list looks like this.  If you can't get into the doc now send me an ask or DM (COMMENTS WILL BE IGNORED AS I LOSE THEM IN THE NOISE OF THE BLOG) with what you want to be tagged in:

Permanent:

The Tower (a long-running fic written with @fanficwriter013 about an OC named Elly in a polyamorous relationship with all the Avengers):

Bartoned (Clint Barton X Reader fic about a reader who gets pregnant to Clint on a one night stand and how they go from lovers - to friends - to parents, to being married when neither is really the relationship type):

The remainder of my Bruce Banner bingo fics (there aren't many left, most will be Bruce/Reader.  Some not):

Running to a Standstill (Stucky X Reader fic about a single mother trying to keep her enhanced child safe from an organization hunting them and a couple of supersoldiers who are determined to protect her):

The Hamptons House (Tony Stark X Reader fic about Tony and a reader meeting at Tony’s 18th birthday party and spending the week together.  They then agree to meet once every three years to relive the feeling they got from their first encounter):

What not to do:

Don't add yourself if you don't actually want to read the fics.

Don't ask to be added via a comment on this post (asks and DMS only or preferably if you can go to the doc and add yourself in)

Don't add yourself in without reading what to do ( @mumbles411 I'm looking at you)

Don't add yourself because you consider me your friend and you think if you don't I'll be offended when you actually have no intention to read things or you think you might maybe read one or two but then you never actually do.  I promise I still like you.  My liking you has nothing to do with whether or not you read my fics. 

Don't add yourself if you've changed fandom and you think maybe one day you might come back to this fandom and read stuff.  Add yourself when you are reading things or go follow my side blog @avengerslibrary​.  Also, I have a Masterlist you can look over anytime you’re feeling nostalgic.

I will switch over to the new list on the 1st of May

[akumadeshitsumon]

[[Hey everyone, I’d like to drop a quick side note about Grell Sutcliffe, as I’ve had a couple of questions about her by now. This is not in any way aimed at anyone who asked said questions, so please don’t worry! This is for future reference.

TL;DR: Grell Sutcliffe is a woman. If you don’t like that, please keep your opinion to yourself. I’ll leave you alone if you leave me alone. If you can’t keep it to yourself, you know where the unfollow button is. I do not tolerate transphobia or identity policing on my blog. At all. If you want to talk to me about this post, my PMs are open, but any sort of transphobic or aggressive rhetoric WILL get your ass blocked and removed.

Please DO NOT start a debate under this post.

If you comment on this post cannot reply to you, as this is a side blog which cannot be used to post comments. Please PM me instead if you want to talk.

Detailed version: Perceptive readers might note that I have not once used any pronouns for Grell while playing Sebastian on my blog. The reason for this is that I (Admin) am well aware that Grell is a transgender woman* and would thus use she/her pronouns when talking about her. However, Sebastian does not know this, and even if he did, I doubt he’d do her the kindness of referring to her by the pronouns she uses for herself, especially given the fact that he first met her when she was disguised as a man. As misgendering is something I personally have a lot of trouble doing even in fiction, I try to avoid pronouns for her in my posts altogether (which kind of works, as Sebastian seems to regard Grell as some kind of creature who is far beneath him anyway - he refers to her as ‘that shinigami’ a lot in the manga, for example). I shall continue to do so as much as I can, and add disclaimers to any future posts in which I might be unable to do so. I know that Grell’s identity is hotly debated in this fandom, but let me make this abundantly clear: Grell’s identity is not a subject I want to debate on this blog. If you think you cannot keep yourself from sending me asks or questions debating this topic, please see yourself out now. Contrary to popular belief, debate about Grell’s identity is not merely a theoretical debate about the content of this manga that we all love (or in some cases, the anime/musicals that we love). When people debate the identity of a transgender person, even a fictional one, they are saying that this person’s identity is not an indisputable fact, but an opinion that is up for debate. In doing so, they are sending a signal to transgender people in the real world that this is the case for them too. This sort of attitude has far-reaching and very real consequences for the transgender people in our fandom and in the rest of the world, and to be perfectly frank: the feelings of transgender people far more to me than the feelings of transphobes who think they know better than author of the manga herself. I have provided evidence below for those who would like to see it, either because they would like to see Toboso-sensei’s thoughts on the matter, or because they feel entitled to ‘evidence’ for my statements.

Confirmation about Grell being a transgender woman from Toboso-sensei herself.

“[We~ell, Sebastian is one hell of a butler. A demon. That is why his signature phrase is something like ‘I am one hell of a butler.’] [Shinigami all wear black suits and glasses, and they all have green eyes. Their weapons are all agricultural tools, such as very long pruning scissors.] [In truth, William is Grell’s favourite. Sebastian is more what one might call an ‘idol’. Yes, Grell is a man, but has the heart of a maiden.] If you explain it like this, female creators will usually say ‘ah, amazing! I understand!]. Women understand that sort of thing, right~ Grell is a boy, but has the heart of a maiden (laughs).” (Toboso Yana’s old blog, Devil’s 6th day. 24-04-2010) Archived here: https://web.archive.org/web/20160408165816/http://d-6th.com/blog/2010/04/index_2.php Note: this was in 2010, and by her own admission at a later date, Toboso-sensei did not know the “correct” terminology with which to refer to transgender women in those days. In Japanese this statement quite unambiguously means to say that Grell is ‘a woman’s soul born into a man’s body**’ --> a.k.a. a transgender woman. (More info on terminology under ‘keep reading’ below).

“Lycoris. This is a nostalgic scribble of Madame and Grell that I drew at the time of the first performance [of Lycoris]. They are like sisters, like partners in crime, a lady and her servant. The second one is a rare image of off-duty Grell, who is wearing round glasses even though her hair is not black.” - Toboso Yana’s official twitter, 7-1-2018. https://twitter.com/toboso_official/status/949993443601690625

“Ah, but this time after the script was completed, I asked the following of Mr. Uehara, who plays Grell. “Please make her like a strong woman” (laughs). Since the Grell from the original work has not made an appearance between the red butler arc and the luxury liner arc, people often think she is a person who cannot do her job. I asked him [Uehara] to please portray her as a career woman in front of her younger colleague.” Toboso Yana’s Twitter, 1-6-2018. https://twitter.com/toboso_official/status/1002533687508910080 As for Grell herself, this is in the 2009 character guide: https://kuroshitsuji.fandom.com/wiki/File:Grell%27s_Confessional_Highlighted.png 

**Note: I am aware that this terminology is outdated in English. However, we cannot deny that this way of referring to transgender people was used for a long time, and that this is likely to have been the phrasing people in Japan would have come into contact with in 2010. I also invite you to consider that in Japanese language context, language surrounding transgender people evolved differently than in English, and we can not measure Japanese language by English standards. What is considered to be ‘correct’ language in Japan is different from what is ‘correct’ language in English to this day, and this was also the case in 2010. Do not make the mistake of assuming that this is not a real statement because the terminology we use these days is different. Language evolves quickly, just as the field of LGBTQIA+ studies evolves very quickly. Just because a word was not yet available does not mean that the concept it refers to did not yet exist!

[matteredloyaltyaa]

really LONG CHARACTER SURVEY. RULES.

repost , don’t reblog ! tag 10 ! good luck !

TAGGED. I stole it. TAGGING. Go for it. lol

FULL NAME : Arthur M/organ NICKNAME : A handful. English, Cowboy/Cowpoke, Black Lung, etc. Common aliases are Tacitus Kilgore and Arthur Callahan. AGE : 36. BIRTHDAY : January 25th, 1836. ETHNIC GROUP : Caucasian. NATIONALITY : American. LANGUAGE / S : English, primarily. Knew a handful of Welsh thanks to his father, but it’s faded with disuse.  SEXUAL ORIENTATION : Bisexual, somewhat closeted.  ROMANTIC ORIENTATION : Biromantic, somewhat closeted. RELATIONSHIP STATUS : Verse dependent, single-ship with @notanoutlaw in most. CLASS : Lower/working HOME TOWN / AREA : Arthur just mentions he was born “up north”, I headcanon around the Oregon area, possibly California due to his mother’s favorite flower, but it’s uncertain. Though, the place he laments the most about is New Austin, or “out west”.   CURRENT HOME : Transitory, he moves with the gang.  PROFESSION : Outlaw, occasional bounty hunter.

PHYSICAL. HAIR : Light brown, dark blonde in some lights. EYES : Unique eye colour, blue-grey-sorta hazel.  NOSE : Average, dimpled. Scarred from fighting and getting it broken a couple times.  FACE : Somewhat sharp features in the brow and cheekbones, square jaw.  LIPS : Full, can be dry/chapped.  COMPLEXION : Somewhat clear? Hard to tell. Dry, dirt spattered sometimes.  BLEMISHES : Uncertain. SCARS : A handful. Most notable are the one he has on his chin that is most visible with shorter facial hair, one across his nose, and the one left on his shoulder by the O’Driscolls in chapter 3.  TATTOOS : N/A HEIGHT : 6′0, possibly 6′1 WEIGHT : Uncertain, fluctuates.  BUILD : Stocky, broad shouldered and he can be fairly intimidating, especially when his weight is about average or above.  FEATURES : Look above? ALLERGIES : N/A USUAL HAIR STYLE : Right parted, about 3-5 in length. Though, for people who don’t know the system--fairly short, tufts out around his ears and may reach the back of his neck before he cuts it again. USUAL FACE LOOK : Expression wise, his kind of got a resting irritated face, sometimes bored. Rarely clean shaven unless he has to be, usually keeps a fair amount of stubble.  USUAL CLOTHING : I change him too much to say. Tends to keep his heavy navy blue winter jacket, jeans/ranch pants, some sort of button up shirt, and sometimes his tan leather jacket. Tends to keep his hat, however, unless he needs to go without. 

PSYCHOLOGY. FEAR / S : Arthur has a mild one of change. He’s adaptable but he’s very sentimental and nostalgic, he will miss “old ways” and previous places. There’s also losing his usefulness, disappointing those who depend on him (much as he will get defensive when it happens). Post-Guarma, he does develop a fear of drowning. It won’t keep him from swimming, but getting swept or held underwater may cause some panic. Post-game au, he does fear about getting sick again and actively avoids doctors.  ASPIRATION / S : Uncertain, just wants to get out of the mess he’s in and eventually just wants a calm existence somewhere. However, once he’s diagnosed with TB, his main goal is getting those who want/will listen to him out of the gang as it starts to fall down. POSITIVE TRAITS : Caring, compassionate (to people he knows, might not be clear on first impression), intelligent (much as he may say the opposite and isn’t exactly book smart), observational, brave, humorous (in certain situations and may be a cover sometimes), friendly (somewhat, changes as he ages), artistic, creative, loyal, etc. NEGATIVE TRAITS : Violent, murderer (doesn’t do it without reason but he knows he’s killed more than he certainly should), defensive, (passive) aggressive, sarcastic, depressive, self-deprecating, selfish, rude (sometimes intentional, sometimes not), conflicted, stubborn, reckless (sometimes, has mellowed out with age but it’s still there), self destructive (sometimes), money-driven (not always a flaw but he’s easily swayed by money). MBTI : ISFJ-T - Turbulent Defender  ZODIAC : Aquarius  TEMPERAMENT : Phlegmatic-Melancholic ANIMALS : I’m not going to take the quiz because the game is very heavy handed with the whitetail buck motif for high honor Arthur. lol VICE HABIT / S : Smoking, drinking, etc. FAITH : Non-religious. GHOSTS ? : Generally, the existence of ghosts isn’t something he completely writes off after he’s witnessed the few in the game, but he’s also hard pressed to admit to believing in them outright. AFTERLIFE ? : Not in any sort of defined sense. He’ll often say he doesn’t believe in one or it won’t be a nice one for him if there is, but he finds himself nervous about the subject once he gets sick.  REINCARNATION ? : He doesn’t know enough about it. ALIENS ? : Not really? Doesn’t really know he’s looking at a UFO when he sees it. POLITICAL ALIGNMENT : Don’t start. ECONOMIC PREFERENCE : Uncertain. SOCIOPOLITICAL POSITION : Uncertain. EDUCATION LEVEL : Does not have a formal education on even the basic levels (primary, high school, etc), however Hosea and Dutch have taught him to read and write and he’s learned a handful of things when it comes to survival and his lifestyle. However, he’s not exactly book smart or the “book learnin’ type”. 

FAMILY. FATHER : Lyle M/organ, deceased. MOTHER : Beatrice M/organ, deceased. SIBLINGS : No blood related, but considers John as one along with a couple other members of camp. EXTENDED FAMILY : He has a few uncles, aunts, and cousins, but he’s not in touch. Issac, his son, and his mother, Eliza, who are both deceased. Mary L/inton/Gillis, ex-fiance. (Cain Kennedy, lover - @notanoutlaw) NAME MEANING / S : Arthur - English, “noble, courageous”, Morgan - (and I’m going against what’s been said in fandom) - Celtic/Welsh surname, comes from Old Welsh name Morcant - “mor” as “sea” and “cant” as “circle”.    HISTORICAL CONNECTION ? : Uncertain in the game, but it’s been pointed out about King Arthur and also Morgan le Fay, which highlights his struggle with good vs evil themes in his character. 

FAVOURITES. BOOK : Uncertain, mostly non-fiction. MOVIE : -- 5 SONGS : -- DEITY : Doesn’t know enough to give a favorite. HOLIDAY : Christmas, in a way. Not quite for the religious context, but he enjoys the hunting and cooking the gang does to celebrate, singing and talking over fires. He remembers it vividly when he was younger, so it’s stuck with him. MONTH : April-May. SEASON : late spring, early summer. PLACE : He likes most places in wilderness, give him something with a view and he’s good. WEATHER : Sunny, average weather. Not too hot, not too cold. SOUND : Rain, birds, etc. SCENT / S : Again, rain, campfires, etc. TASTE / S : Prefers savory over sweet.   FEEL / S : Weightlessness in his limbs once he’s able to sit/lay down after a long day, fingers in his hair, etc. ANIMAL / S : Horses, dogs, cats, animals. NUMBER : He hasn’t given it much thought. COLOUR : Blues, greens, deeper colours.

EXTRA. TALENTS : Sharpshooting, Arthur’s got impeccable aim and speed when using guns, there’s also his drawing, he’s getting fairly good at tracking, etc. BAD AT : Admitting to mistakes, expressing himself emotionally, adhering to rules, anything overly scientific, etc. TURN ONS : Sense of humor, confidence or self-assurance, kindness and/or compassion, dark hair, etc. TURN OFFS : Hypocrisy (much as he suffers from that himself), cockiness (has a limit before confidence becomes a turn off), excessive or needless cruelty, etc. HOBBIES : Drawing, writing in his journal, hunting, wandering around/sight seeing, etc. TROPES : Anti-Hero/Anti-Villain,The Atoner, The Big Guy, Jerk with a Heart of Gold, Obfuscating Stupidity, etc. AESTHETIC TAGS : Horses, old west, deserts, nature, gun slinging, writing, drawing, photography, etc. 

FC INFO. MAIN FC / S : R/oger Clark, mainly in game icons so I haven’t found a need for one. ALT FC / S : -- OLDER FC / S : -- YOUNGER FC / S : -- VOICE CLAIM / S : R/oger Clark GENDERBENT FC / S :

MUN QUESTIONS. Q1 : if you could write your character your way in their own movie , what would it be called , what style would it be filmed in , and what would it be about ? A1 : I actually REALLY enjoy the game’s story line, much as I feel the redemption through death is overplayed and not as deep as people make it out to be. I’d find a way to subvert that or some alternative, but idk. I like the game’s story. lol

Q2 : what would their soundtrack / score sound like ? A2 : Western-y. IDK? The game’s soundtrack is actually really good too so.  Q3 : why did you start writing this character ? A3 : I love his development and progression as a character, and even with the trailers where he seemed no more than an angry outlaw there was a part of me that was still “hmm” about writing him. Ultimately, he’s grown to mean a lot to me and I really enjoy writing for him on this blog.  Q4 : what first attracted you to this character ? A4: As mentioned above, Arthur probably has one of the best character progressions I’ve seen in a while imo. Even in the beginning, I went in under the impression that I’d be playing as this outlaw so the violence and gruffness wasn’t too much of a surprise, much as I wasn’t too attached until later chapters in the game because of this. However, as I spent more time playing as him and reading his journal, seeing how he interacts with strangers and people he loves, he has some depth to him and some deep rooted flaws and insecurities that are played very well in the game. He’s probably one of the few character deaths I’ve cried over. lol Q5 : describe the biggest thing you dislike about your muse. A5 : I have to be truthful, Arthur’s an asshole. lol I didn’t like and still don’t like him from Colter into Horseshoe in behavior and personality, much as it’s lessened from my first play of the game because I know what happens to him and how he grows. However, while he’s not blind to himself and how he acts, he doesn’t think for himself really. Even if he hates debt collecting, he does it for the gang and even tells Strauss he does it for pleasure at a point (sarcastic or not, considering they are talking about Thomas, a man trying to raise money for charity while suffering poverty himself on top of having TB), he does whatever Dutch tells him, among many other things. It’s not until later in the game that the theme of grasping redemption comes into play, and he starts to act and think for himself a little more once things start to spiral. As much as I love him with all my heart, Arthur’s got some deep flaws that are hard to ignore.   Q6 : what do you have in common with your muse ? A6 : HHHhh. I’d say we suffer from similar self-esteem issues, not just in body image but morality of character (much as his are way more complicated than mine jaksfha), we also have a similar sense of humor...Yeah, idk. I’m attached to him as a character and I can relate to him in certain ways, but it’s hard to pinpoint.  Q7 : how does your muse feel about you ? A7 : Idk, he’s pixels? Though, for the sake of a fun answer, I genuinely don’t know? We can be fairly similar in mannerisms and thought process (at points), but I have no idea if we’d actually get along if by some universe rip we were able to meet.  Q8 : what characters does your muse have interesting interactions with ? A8: I don’t want to get specific, I interact with a lot of interesting characters. Anybody who’s put me out of a comfort zone or forced me to look at Arthur in the different way has definitely stood out. Q9 : what gives you inspiration to write your muse ? A9 : The game itself is a good source, I enjoy putting up lets plays of it in the background sometimes if I’m struggling or just need something that isn’t music. I get more muse putting together blog playlists than playing them, but there’s that, too. Also generally plotting or talking about him can pull some to the forefront. Q10 : how long did this take you to complete ? A10 : An hour or so, I think?

[laylainalaska]

I had a bit of an epiphany about DW vs. Tumblr today and it is this: I’ve actually come around to preferring Tumblr-style interaction, and the reason is because Tumblr tends to foster either low-effort lurking or intimate, one-on-one communication (you don’t usually have personal conversations in reblogs, you have them in chat or via asks), whereas DW is more of a cocktail party. And I don’t know if it’s that I’ve never been that good at cocktail parties or if I’ve just moved into a phase of my life where I enjoy them a lot less than I used to, but I’m increasingly just ... wanting to be over here more than over there. I think I felt more nostalgic about DW/LJ ‘til it suddenly got more active and I was having more conversations over there and thinking “I’m not enjoying this as much as I used to” and then thinking about why.

(Cutting the rest because it’s long and navel-gazey.)

What made me think about this was a post that was linked on DW about DW people finding the idea of just randomly PM’ing strangers kind of intimidating while Tumblr people are like “... but that’s a perfectly normal way to talk to people!” And I was like “well yes, of course??” and then “... oh” because on DW, it really isn’t. Oh sure, there’s the PM/inbox function, and people do use it a lot to trade emails/addresses or ask personal questions and that sort of thing, but critically, it’s usually with people you already know, as an extension of a conversation that started in comments when private information needed to be shared. It isn’t set up for long, back-and-forth conversations (much like Tumblr’s askbox isn’t).

In general, if you’re going to say something to someone on DW, you say it in a comment, which means any passing person can read and comment on your comment. And you don’t tend to just send private messages out of the blue to people you don’t know. There’s absolutely no reason why you can’t, it’s just that people rarely do. (Unless it’s like, messaging the mod of an exchange or something, a specific social context like that.) And DW has a ton of unspoken social not-rules like that.

This never used to be an issue for me back when I just took comment-interaction for granted, but it was sort of like a major epiphany to realize that on Tumblr, I’ve gotten used to not having to do all the things you have to do in DW-style cocktail-party conversation, where you either have a tiny blog with like 5 people who read it, or you have to curate your opinions somewhat and hedge them around with disclaimers or people will show up to argue with you. (And this isn’t new; it was that way back in ye olde LJ days too.)

It made me realize that these days, I’ve gone over to having most of my online social interaction as private conversations in chat or email. And I like it that way.

I’m not saying I hate DW or that I’m not still going to be there. But it did make me understand why I have increasingly found myself getting irritable with DW conversations and feeling like “Why are people so touchy!” or just restraining myself from commenting on someone’s post because I don’t really want the hassle. But it’s always been that way; it’s just that I took a certain amount of touchiness and people reacting badly to comments as normal conversation features. Since then, I’ve gotten used to having a lot more of my conversations take place in wholly private spaces like email and Tumblr chat where I can just be honest about my opinions and not worry about having the whole world read them. (Or even a more limited portion of the whole world in the case of locked posts, but even then, having to think “... is one of the 10 or 50 or 100 people I’ve friended going to get pissed off at this” is a level of social anxiety you just don’t have if you’re chatting one on one with someone.)

And it made me realize that one thing I really love about Tumblr is that the social climate here (for lack of a better word) tends to foster those one-on-one conversations. And okay, granted, it’s because Tumblr’s ability to host public conversations is fucked to hell and sideways, but it’s actually led to quite a nice fandom climate where you expect people to send you asks and DMs, especially if you’ve made it clear that you’re open to it.

So Tumblr’s very public dash-spaces are like a big party where you can lurk and find out what other people are interested in, and if you find someone who seems cool, you can send them an ask or a DM, basically invite them for a little private one-on-one chat over tea. Whereas DW is more like a neighborhood cocktail party or a backyard party at someone’s house or something, and yeah, you can lurk, but mostly you have to stay out in public and chat if you want to get to know someone that you might like to talk to privately later, and people might find it a bit rude or at least a bit weird if you only want to talk to one specific person.

I can enjoy either one, depending on what I’m in the mood for, but I’ve definitely been more in a mood for private conversations lately, and it did make some things click for me, for sure.

(For the record: You can always send me DMs and asks! If you don’t want an ask answered publicly, just say so. <3)

[dunkirknarry]

Ok, so, I doubt anyone is going to read this, but I am feeling all kinds of nostalgic so I felt like writing this out. This is honestly probably my first(?) text post, if not one of like 2. I am pretty private, and always try to separate my online persona from my real life one. That being said, I am gonna get a little personal.

I feel like the grandma of tumblr. I have been around since it first started, not on this account, on another, but this one is pretty old too. I was here when the 1D fandom started, and it was pretty evenly split between the two sole ships at the time, L*rry and N*am. Yeah, I have been around that long. I remember trying to read a N*am fanfiction because I knew I already hated L*rry, and I couldn’t get into it. I saw ONE scene between Harry and Niall, and I was like, wow I like them way more. At the time I was probably the ONLY narry fan, if not, like one of 3 MAX. It wasn’t a thing. It was kind of sad because I had to fangirl over their cute interactions, as rare as they were, all by myself. Seriously, it was barren over here.

Slowly but surely Narry began to grow in popularity and old fanfic classics like Art Class, Styles Industries, Ataxophobia, and Tell Me a Lie were written. If you don’t know what those are WOW you missed a golden age my friends. Fanvideos were made, I am pretty sure there were some Titanic themed videos that REALLY got me at the time. I never really grew as a blog,which is completely fine, but I did get to see all of the super popular ones grow into what they are. A lot of which I followed since they were created, and still follow and admire to this day.

ANYWAYS, this is a highly unneccessary post, but I just wanted to say thank you. Thanks for honestly making the narry tag bigger, and writing beautiful fanfiction that I have reread a million times. I am really happy to have been here when the tag was empty and to have seen it grow into what it is! 

I don’t know how much longer I’ll be here, as I have said I have been here a LONG time. Longer than I’m sure 90% of you have been. Hopefully, I still have one or two more years in me. If you read this, thanks for following me and caring enough to read it. If no one reads it, thats completely okay too. 

If anyone ever wants to talk to a veteran of this hellsite, and especially this fandom, don’t be afraid to reach out. I can’t guarantee I’ll reply fast, but It’ll happen eventually.

-Elle

[eliz1369]

11 Questions (x3)

Thank you @eheartangel , @nollatooru , and @kazama-hime for the tags 😊 I’ve decided to combine them in one post for the sake of my sanity.

Rules(or guidances):

Post the rules

Answer the questions given to you by the tagger

Write 11 questions of your own

And tag 11 people

1. What is your favorite movie(s)

Ugh, I have so many. A Few Good Men, Stand and Deliver, and Fireproof, to name a few, but right now nothing tops the quality comedy in It’s a Mad Mad Mad World. If you haven’t seen it, it’s 2.5 hours of comedic insanity from some of the best actors of Hollywood’s golden era. What would you be willing to do to get your hands on $350,000?

2. What’s your favorite thing to do in fandoms (write, draw, make gifs, talk about headcanons, just keep a blog etc)?

While I’m a sucker for character analysis, writing is hands down my favorite thing to do in a fandom.

3. Do you wear nail polish?

Yes. It keeps me from bitting my nails and helps keeps them from bending. My nails aren’t strong at all.

4. What do you really like about yourself?

I’m creative and a bit of a jack of all trades.

5. Are you scared of public speaking?

Terrified. I mean, I can do it, but I will look like a tomato, talk a million miles and hour, and leave out half my talking points.

6. Can you drive a car?

Yup, but I try to default to passenger whenever I can.

7. Do you have pets?

I have a cat named Honey

8. What do you want to do right now?

Right now? Sleep sounds nice, but so does catching up on my reading, and what about my writing? Ugh, Time, Energy, and Things to do. Pick two.

9. Are you a student?

Just graduated with my masters in December so, NOPE! Though that’s kind of a scary thought... I’ve spent nearly my entire life in a classroom and now I’ve got to go be a real adult.

10. Tell something that you want to put here. (About yourself, about your favorite charactes, about something great you just saw/made, anything that comes to your mind and you want to share)

My mom, sister, and I totally rocked out to Legally Blonde The Musical on our way back from Victoria BC to keep ourselves awake. We had the volume way up and sang for over an hour.

1. Sunset or sunrise ?

As a night owl I have to say Sunset! Sunrise is just way to early in the morning. (Plus sunsets are prettier)

2. What would your theme song be if you were in a movie?

If I had a theme in a movie, It’d probably be along the lines of Sound of The Shire from Lord of the Rings. Something happy and maybe a touch nostalgic or romantic.

3. Your most remarkable nickname?

My grandpa would call me Dizzy Lizzy because I’ve always been a bit of a clutz when it comes to running into/tripping over things.

4. Movie you’ve watched more often than any other movie?

More often? Hm, I drove my grandma batty watching Lion King growing up, but honestly the title of “Most Watched” probably goes to the PBS Riverdance.

5. Favourite quote?

I’ve always loved Puddleglum’s monologue to the Green Witch in C.S. Lewis’s The Silver Chair.

“One word. All you’ve been saying is quite right, I shouldn’t wonder. I’m a chap who always liked to know the worst and then put the best face I can on it. So I won’t deny any of what you said. But there’s one thing more to be said, even so. Suppose we have only dreamed, or made up, all those things–trees and grass and sun and moon and stars and Aslan himself. Suppose we have. Then all I can say is that, in that case, the made-up things seem a good deal more important than the real ones. Suppose this black pit of a kingdom of yours is the only world. Well, it strikes me as a pretty poor one. And that’s a funny thing, when you come to think of it. We’re just babies making up a game, if you’re right. But four babies playing a game can make a play-world which licks your real world hollow. That’s why I’m going to stand by the play-world. I’m on Aslan’s side even if there isn’t any Aslan to lead it. I’m going to live as like a Narnian as I can even if there isn’t any Narnia. So, thanking you kindly for our supper, if these two gentlemen and the young lady are ready, we’re leaving your court at once and setting out in the dark to spend our lives looking for Overland. Not that our lives will be very long, I should think; but that’s a small loss if the world’s as dull a place as you say.”

6. A dream come true?

Please no. My dreams are to weird to become reality... no one wants a 30ft giant spider sitting outside their house.

7. Guilty pleasure?

Writing when I should be working.

8. Something that never fails to cheer you up?

A good fluffy fic! (Especially if it’s okichi!)

9. Is there a song your currently obsessed with?

I love listening to contemporary piano music when I write and right now I’ve been listening to My World and The Way by Florian Bur on repeat.

10. Do you collect anything?

Anything and everything. I’ve got Disney pins, stuffed animals, sand from beaches, and now plushies. I’m the type of person who won’t just take one or two rocks/shells from the beach, I will fill both pockets to bursting and still be trying to fit five more. Yeah, it’s a bit of a problem...

11. 11 words to describe yourself?

Creative, funny, glass half full, caring, empathetic, night owl, smart, and inquisitive

1. What’s your favorite piece that you’ve written/drawn/etc?

An Unearned Gift is by far my favorite written work, while

2. Favorite game?

Loaded Questions is by far my favorite game. Great for old friends and getting to know people, and it’s always good for a laugh.

3. What animal would you be if you could shapeshift into one?

A house cat. Small, fast, and limber enough to get anywhere. Plus it’s inconspicuous enough to blend in anywhere. ...and I want to be able to purr :P no better sound for telling someone you like them.

4.Do you collect anything?

See above ^^^

5.Favorite food?

Pomegranates are one of my favorite fruits, so I always indulge in the gigantic ones from Costco all winter long.

6.Favorite dessert?

Dole whip float from Disneyland/World. It’s a treat I rarely get, but there’s no way I’m leaving the park without it!

7.Favorite Ice cream flavor or frozen treat?

Denali Mint Moose Tracks! Hands down best ice cream ever! (Okay so it’s tied with the Dole Whip)

8. Favorite scent?

Eucalyptus! And not the weird diluted stuff that’s in lotion which doesn’t smell like it at all. Like the concentrated oil or Vick’s vapor rub. (Close second would be the chlorine smell of a pool)

9. How did you discover Hakuouki?

Watched the anime because it came up as one “similar” to Ruroni Kenshin. Lol took me a bit to readjust to the Shinsengumi being the “good guys”.

10. How many books do you own?

Uh... try 30ft of shelves worth. That’s not even counting ebooks.

11. Free space! Give me a fun fact!

I have a quilt that was started by my great grandmother and was finished by my mom and I. She had already drawn out the embroidery patterns on the squares, but only finished 4 or 5. I completed the hand embroidery squares and my mom turned it into a quilt that she gave me for Christmas a few years back.

Um... I’m so late in getting to these that I’m pretty sure everyone I know has already been tagged.