#some personal ramblings

[thedeviousdevilxx]

Just some personal musings underneath lol

I'm not a deeply insecure person but neither am I a very confident person but I am very aware of how my living situation, and over all "life", and decor choices really doesn't paint me as a typical "adult". What do I mean by that? Well for one, I still live at ~home~. My parents are divorced and my mom got the house, and I've continued living here. I pay rent, even while I was in university, I continued to contribute to the household expenses, since my mom owns the house, basically towards taxes, insurance, utilities, as well as towards groceries. Besides that, I pay and buy everything else myself. Most adults however do tend to move out around 18 or sometime later, but eventually do move out at some point. And to be honest, I never felt the need to. (excluding when I lived in NZ with my sister for two years)

For a single women like me, my choices even if I wanted to move out would be, spend a significant amount on rent to live alone, in a tiny apartment, live with a roommate, stranger or friend, or live with a romantic partner. I don't date, never had in the traditional sense, I'm not inclined to people like that? People exhaust me but that's another story. The idea of living with someone I don't know freaks me the fuck out, and a friend doesn't seem ideal either as I worry it would ruin the friendship, and my friend's I do have, I've seen the way they live and yeah no, it'd be a disaster.

The insecure part of me worries how I'm perceived, more so by friends and family, as I've somehow failed attaining adulthood in the way Western culture views adulthood. I'm single, never seriously dated, I live at home, and another aspect of adulthood in how one decorates their home/apartment/bedroom etc. And my bedroom personally looks like a teen from the 80s, music and movie posters galore!

When you look at most "adult" rooms, the decor is cohesive, or at least with minimal decor on the walls, a painting, or family photos, or some other kind of photography, basically like an Ikea room setup or what you find in decor magazines. There might even be a color scheme! Not a bunch of rock stars on the wall.

There are parts of adulthood in the traditional sense I have achieved, I've worked since I was 13, starting with babysitting, then getting my first official job at 16 and been employed full and part time since then, only going unemployed for a few months and that's when I first moved to NZ and was just traveling, then after leaving NZ back to Canada during COVID and trying to find work (took me three terrible months and over 40 applications to get work!). I've graduated university. I pretty much do everything on my own for the most part, and am self sufficient, only relying on my mom occasionally. Perhaps we can co-dependent in some ways, but in this capitalistic hellscape, truly relying on oneself for everything is a struggle, which I don't wish on anyone but I do know some people do not have any support, or enough. Being single in this world is fucking expensive, so the more confident side of me realizes that as mother and daughter living together suits both of us quite fine, and it beneficial in many ways. She doesn't struggle financially and has semi-retired from work, and I sometimes get home cooked meals, and has a tolerable roommate, and my own full space that is my own.

And yet I feel given what is standard and fairly normal for people my age 30+, to be married, having kids or have kids, engaged, dating, living on their own, or with their partner, that I am somehow a very defective adult. That I'm lingering in some space between teenagehood and adulthood, that I'm not actually mature because I have not achieved these milestones of "standard adulthood".

I do however interrogate these feelings, and realize, that there is a lot of variety to what being an adult means, that there is no one way to BE an adult, and yet a lot do follow this path of adulthood, many because of how they are raised, what they want out of life(marrige & kids), some have no choice (getting booted from the home at 18 is something I learned happens a lot), or have a horrid home life that leaving is the best option for them to thrive. And also I know a lot has to do with economics. Recently there has been more attention paid to adults moving back home with their parents, or multi-general households becoming a thing now (I know it's common elsewhere in the world, but Canada, not so much at least not over the past 40+ years, and we're probably seeing this too due to immigration from countries where grandparents, parents and kids all live together is the norm) because cost of living has skyrocketed, along with unemployment, stagnating wages etc has made households struggle financially.

Anways there is no point to this post, other than I struggle between being quite content with my life, and living situation, and feeling insecure about it given how far outside the norm of adulthood I find myself in. I feel because I neither desire marriage, kids, or owning a home, that I am not fully an adult in the American/Canadian sense of adulthood. As a cis women, that also brings a whole slew of expectations, and yet my family has never ever pressured me into any of these roles which I am thankful and why I can live the way I want to.

[lazylittledragon]

can't believe we're all adults being forced into the club penguin level of censorship in 2024

[aashiqeddiediaz]

you know what boils my blood.

over the last 2 weeks, i've seen countless patients walk into my urgent care center, symptomatic for so many things, refusing to get tested for covid and flu, citing that they don't want to knowingly bring it to their holiday tables. i had a patient tell me, verbatim, "i don't want to test for covid, because i don't want to be the asshole who brings it on a plane."

i understand that - i understand that holidays are times where people look forward to meeting loved ones that they might only see once a year, or where they get a break from the hectic back and forth of their lives.

but here's the thing - whether they get tested or not, they will bring whatever they have to their holiday tables. it's pure recklessness to know that you're sick, and walk into someone else's house spreading the disease.

today, january 2, i saw 91 patients, many of them who have tested positive for covid and flu. many of these patients are the same ones who didn't want testing 3 days ago, until their events were over, and now, they will have to reach out to everyone they know to let them know that they were positive because they were showing symptoms well before their event.

the next week or two? we're going to see many, many more, all people with symptoms that started around christmas. these are the only two viruses we test for rapidly in our office, but they are potent and can be fatal in many people.

so here's why i wrote this post, and maybe it's a little late, but - if you care about your loved ones, please get tested if you know you're sick. it doesn't have to be at a clinic if you don't want it to, because the over-the-counter tests work just fine too (if you test within 5-7 days of symptom onset). just...please don't try to run from the knowledge that you might have covid, because immunocompromised people, elderly people, people with co-morbidities like asthma, pregnancy, diabetes, etc...many of them may not recover. and they may not be sitting at your holiday table in the future because of it.

[caruliaa]

staff still hasn't given me polls, what should i do?

🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪 their moms 69%

🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪 their dads 31%

grace image os i get to look at her

[biggirldreaming]

btw just because someone posts nsfw stuff doesn’t mean they want you in their dms being gross.

[heilos]

I don't know how other people feel on this, but i'm honestly so tired of the model for dropping a full season of episodes in one day for a new show or a continuing season. How is anyone suppose to build hype and story anticipation from episode to episode and how does that help with wait time in between seasons or the people making the show? So frustrating how that's considered a norm.

If a show season is already out there and done, obviously binge to your hearts content, you do what you wanna do with the time you have for leisurely watching of course. I just don't think the drop and run format for a whole season on a single day or even in a single week is a healthy practice for animation and I wish studios and investors would reconsider.

[bluerosefox]

Once again. A new DPxDC idea/prompt.

(Deaged! Danny, Dan, Ellie, and Jazz!)

Enjoy my random ideas.

Look.

Selina....

Selina wasn't expecting this when she decided to have some fun and do what she does best.

She just meant to sweet talk her way into Master's gala/party. Flirt and get info, maybe some blackmail. Steal away the rare cat themed artifact he had recently gotten (and also steal away his actual cat, such a lovely little diva it is too). then she was going to disappear into the night like always.

So...

Selina casted her eyes into the mirror of her car and could see the tiny children she had rescued from Master's hidden basement lab. All but one was asleep, the oldest out of them, although she seemed to be losing that fight from the way her head was falling forward, eyes closing but would jerk herself back awake when she realized she was falling asleep.

Curled up as hard and as much as they could towards the little redhead was three dark haired children, Selina mused that they'd fit right in with Bruce and his little bats/birds.

Two were near identical boys, though one seemed to be much paler than the other and if she remembered right one had red eyes and the other had blue, and the last one of the sleeping kids was a tiny toddler, a girl she heard was named 'Ellie' from the others.

Selina took note that the red head, Jazz, had finally fallen asleep a few minutes later. With a deep breath as she drove further and further away from that... that insane Fruitloop (she overheard the two boys call him that as they ran to her car) Master's place, she blindly reached for her phone and pressed a single digit on the screen, knowing it will connect to her car and call up the only person she can trust to help her with this.

"Selina." came the gravely voice after a single ring, sounds like she caught him on patrol but he seemed to be in a spot where he was okay to say her actual name over coms or she caught him before his night shift started.

"Hello Darling, I need your help with some kittens I found and to help me... Put away their terrible old owner."

[lucabyte]

Different standards

[if-you-like-pina-colada-s]

I have to know what everyone else thinks of this

[babacontainsmultitudes]

RIP Will Campos the only person who was murdered this episode.

[strawberryscare]

ally confirming in the adventuring party that kristen still wants to be a cleric and still a follower of cassandra is both comforting and sad. there’s been speculation abt kristen switching to monk/sorcerer/etc and while that would be really interesting narratively, it would sort of throw the last three episodes of sophomore year out the window in doing so.

i also think this last episode mirrors/reaffirms her commitment (in that she opted to allow cassandra to turn their anger onto her willingly), hence the comforting aspect of her keeping her class. but it is really sad bc as ally said: it’s not that kristen’s not caring, but she’s truly disorganized and so young. in a perfect world someone else would have been cassandra’s prophet, and kristen could just be a normal cleric of cassandra.

the unique role she’s in now, as cass’s sole follower AND prophet, is so similar to the life she left behind as helio’s “chosen one” that i can’t imagine it WOULDN’T be triggering. in a way she’s been almost set up to fail.

[nukacourier]

ulysses would honestly be the perfect candidate for anything enemies to lovers regarding the Courier if people weren't so focused on pretending the random one off Legion members are better written than they actually are

[morgaine-la-reveuse]

I don't know who needs to hear this, but:

It is absolutely fine to use a label, only to realise it doesn't suit you anymore. Labels aren't there to bind you to them. They serve as a way to better describe how one feels and what ones lived experience can be like.

I had two pipelines of relabeling myself simultaneously.

From bi to lesbian, and back to bi.

From asexual to demisexual (because I thought, that one day, maybe I feel this kind of attraction, as sex-ambivalent and oscillating were terms I related with, and still do), and back to being asexual.

Does that make me less sapphic or a-spec? Absolutely not.

And to be honest: I still haven't figured out if I'm demiromantic or aromantic. And that is perfectly fine. We don't own anyone an explanation, but ourselves.

If the label felt good at that time, but doesn't anymore, let it go and take the one that feels more fitting. ♡ We are human beings. We are allowed to grow. You are valid, no matter which label you choose.

[biggirldreaming]

wanna be wine drunk and touchy with you 😭

[sanguinewolves]

rb for reach pls :) (im doing market research /hj)

[edonee]

seeing a "t4t mlm" couple gives me the same feeling as fujoshis role-playing as their yaoi OTP