#some personal ramblings
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Just some personal musings underneath lol
I'm not a deeply insecure person but neither am I a very confident person but I am very aware of how my living situation, and over all "life", and decor choices really doesn't paint me as a typical "adult". What do I mean by that? Well for one, I still live at ~home~. My parents are divorced and my mom got the house, and I've continued living here. I pay rent, even while I was in university, I continued to contribute to the household expenses, since my mom owns the house, basically towards taxes, insurance, utilities, as well as towards groceries. Besides that, I pay and buy everything else myself. Most adults however do tend to move out around 18 or sometime later, but eventually do move out at some point. And to be honest, I never felt the need to. (excluding when I lived in NZ with my sister for two years)
For a single women like me, my choices even if I wanted to move out would be, spend a significant amount on rent to live alone, in a tiny apartment, live with a roommate, stranger or friend, or live with a romantic partner. I don't date, never had in the traditional sense, I'm not inclined to people like that? People exhaust me but that's another story. The idea of living with someone I don't know freaks me the fuck out, and a friend doesn't seem ideal either as I worry it would ruin the friendship, and my friend's I do have, I've seen the way they live and yeah no, it'd be a disaster.
The insecure part of me worries how I'm perceived, more so by friends and family, as I've somehow failed attaining adulthood in the way Western culture views adulthood. I'm single, never seriously dated, I live at home, and another aspect of adulthood in how one decorates their home/apartment/bedroom etc. And my bedroom personally looks like a teen from the 80s, music and movie posters galore!
When you look at most "adult" rooms, the decor is cohesive, or at least with minimal decor on the walls, a painting, or family photos, or some other kind of photography, basically like an Ikea room setup or what you find in decor magazines. There might even be a color scheme! Not a bunch of rock stars on the wall.
There are parts of adulthood in the traditional sense I have achieved, I've worked since I was 13, starting with babysitting, then getting my first official job at 16 and been employed full and part time since then, only going unemployed for a few months and that's when I first moved to NZ and was just traveling, then after leaving NZ back to Canada during COVID and trying to find work (took me three terrible months and over 40 applications to get work!). I've graduated university. I pretty much do everything on my own for the most part, and am self sufficient, only relying on my mom occasionally. Perhaps we can co-dependent in some ways, but in this capitalistic hellscape, truly relying on oneself for everything is a struggle, which I don't wish on anyone but I do know some people do not have any support, or enough. Being single in this world is fucking expensive, so the more confident side of me realizes that as mother and daughter living together suits both of us quite fine, and it beneficial in many ways. She doesn't struggle financially and has semi-retired from work, and I sometimes get home cooked meals, and has a tolerable roommate, and my own full space that is my own.
And yet I feel given what is standard and fairly normal for people my age 30+, to be married, having kids or have kids, engaged, dating, living on their own, or with their partner, that I am somehow a very defective adult. That I'm lingering in some space between teenagehood and adulthood, that I'm not actually mature because I have not achieved these milestones of "standard adulthood".
I do however interrogate these feelings, and realize, that there is a lot of variety to what being an adult means, that there is no one way to BE an adult, and yet a lot do follow this path of adulthood, many because of how they are raised, what they want out of life(marrige & kids), some have no choice (getting booted from the home at 18 is something I learned happens a lot), or have a horrid home life that leaving is the best option for them to thrive. And also I know a lot has to do with economics. Recently there has been more attention paid to adults moving back home with their parents, or multi-general households becoming a thing now (I know it's common elsewhere in the world, but Canada, not so much at least not over the past 40+ years, and we're probably seeing this too due to immigration from countries where grandparents, parents and kids all live together is the norm) because cost of living has skyrocketed, along with unemployment, stagnating wages etc has made households struggle financially.
Anways there is no point to this post, other than I struggle between being quite content with my life, and living situation, and feeling insecure about it given how far outside the norm of adulthood I find myself in. I feel because I neither desire marriage, kids, or owning a home, that I am not fully an adult in the American/Canadian sense of adulthood. As a cis women, that also brings a whole slew of expectations, and yet my family has never ever pressured me into any of these roles which I am thankful and why I can live the way I want to.
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can't believe we're all adults being forced into the club penguin level of censorship in 2024
#ramble#if you say unalive in front of me i will personally kill you with my hands#you just can't muffle and censor and hold someone's hand through some things#some things are horrible. and they should be spoken aloud and they should upset you. because they are horrible#the second we started kidzbopifying the world was the end of taking anything seriously i think#i'm not even joking i've spoken to people older than me who won't even say the world sex#this isn't the playground you're not going to get in trouble just let us say the word!!!!!!#how am i supposed to listen to you when you won't even say the thing you're supposed to be talking about#yes this is the fault of the platforms with their censorship rules but the fact that we all just go along with it like it's not dystopian#you do know it doesn't stop with cursing right. people are already having to censor queer terms because they get flagged as inappropriate
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you know what boils my blood.
over the last 2 weeks, i've seen countless patients walk into my urgent care center, symptomatic for so many things, refusing to get tested for covid and flu, citing that they don't want to knowingly bring it to their holiday tables. i had a patient tell me, verbatim, "i don't want to test for covid, because i don't want to be the asshole who brings it on a plane."
i understand that - i understand that holidays are times where people look forward to meeting loved ones that they might only see once a year, or where they get a break from the hectic back and forth of their lives.
but here's the thing - whether they get tested or not, they will bring whatever they have to their holiday tables. it's pure recklessness to know that you're sick, and walk into someone else's house spreading the disease.
today, january 2, i saw 91 patients, many of them who have tested positive for covid and flu. many of these patients are the same ones who didn't want testing 3 days ago, until their events were over, and now, they will have to reach out to everyone they know to let them know that they were positive because they were showing symptoms well before their event.
the next week or two? we're going to see many, many more, all people with symptoms that started around christmas. these are the only two viruses we test for rapidly in our office, but they are potent and can be fatal in many people.
so here's why i wrote this post, and maybe it's a little late, but - if you care about your loved ones, please get tested if you know you're sick. it doesn't have to be at a clinic if you don't want it to, because the over-the-counter tests work just fine too (if you test within 5-7 days of symptom onset). just...please don't try to run from the knowledge that you might have covid, because immunocompromised people, elderly people, people with co-morbidities like asthma, pregnancy, diabetes, etc...many of them may not recover. and they may not be sitting at your holiday table in the future because of it.
#zee rambles#this isn't to guilt trip anyone#but im so so tired of people coming in and just refusing testing because they want to see grandma or whatever#and on top of that people are avoiding vaccinations and all that too??#we all lived through the pandemic - everyone saw how many people unfortunately passed away from it#now because of vaccinations and some amount of herd immunity we're finding milder cases in healthy people#but that doesn't mean its gone#that doesn't mean it doesn't have long-term repercussions even in healthy people and that doesn't mean people aren't still dying from it#honestly i just needed a lil rant#and if this helps at least one person??? im all for it#also i can't sleep so here we are spilling thoughts into the voidddd
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btw just because someone posts nsfw stuff doesn’t mean they want you in their dms being gross.
#some of you need help#you can think someone’s posts are great and still be respectful#okay thank you bye#personal#mine#rambles
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Selina's New Kittens
Once again. A new DPxDC idea/prompt.
(Deaged! Danny, Dan, Ellie, and Jazz!)
Enjoy my random ideas.
Look.
Selina....
Selina wasn't expecting this when she decided to have some fun and do what she does best.
She just meant to sweet talk her way into Master's gala/party. Flirt and get info, maybe some blackmail. Steal away the rare cat themed artifact he had recently gotten (and also steal away his actual cat, such a lovely little diva it is too). then she was going to disappear into the night like always.
So...
Selina casted her eyes into the mirror of her car and could see the tiny children she had rescued from Master's hidden basement lab. All but one was asleep, the oldest out of them, although she seemed to be losing that fight from the way her head was falling forward, eyes closing but would jerk herself back awake when she realized she was falling asleep.
Curled up as hard and as much as they could towards the little redhead was three dark haired children, Selina mused that they'd fit right in with Bruce and his little bats/birds.
Two were near identical boys, though one seemed to be much paler than the other and if she remembered right one had red eyes and the other had blue, and the last one of the sleeping kids was a tiny toddler, a girl she heard was named 'Ellie' from the others.
Selina took note that the red head, Jazz, had finally fallen asleep a few minutes later. With a deep breath as she drove further and further away from that... that insane Fruitloop (she overheard the two boys call him that as they ran to her car) Master's place, she blindly reached for her phone and pressed a single digit on the screen, knowing it will connect to her car and call up the only person she can trust to help her with this.
"Selina." came the gravely voice after a single ring, sounds like she caught him on patrol but he seemed to be in a spot where he was okay to say her actual name over coms or she caught him before his night shift started.
"Hello Darling, I need your help with some kittens I found and to help me... Put away their terrible old owner."
#danny phantom#danny fenton#crossover#dp x dc#blue rambles#danny phantom dc#writing ideas#random idea#dpxdc#deaged danny#deaged dan#deaged danielle#deaged jazz#Selina found the deaged Fentons in Vlad's lab basement#she was there to just steal some cat artifact her intel told her he had#she wasn't expecting the children. nor to see them with collars that apparently kept them 'in check' if they used their powers#thankfully Vlad was focused on keeping their ghost powers under his control. He was too blinded to think of stopping mundane ways to escape#aka Selina lockpicking the collars and getting the kids out of the basement without powers/abilities#PERSONAL Headcanon for this AU. Good Fenton parents that took in both Dan and Ellie after good reveal. Still bad Vlad.#Vlad got MEGA jealous at the 'perfect family' and set up something that destroyed the Fenton portal. Got Jack and Maddie killed.#and got the kids deaged. AND the explosion sent them to the DCverse.#Vlad decided to begin anew in the DCverse. started using his powers to gain money again and put collars on the kids to keep them 'in check'#He's going to be in MEGA trouble when Selina brings attention to him.#Cause Bruce isn't going to happy.
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I don't know how other people feel on this, but i'm honestly so tired of the model for dropping a full season of episodes in one day for a new show or a continuing season. How is anyone suppose to build hype and story anticipation from episode to episode and how does that help with wait time in between seasons or the people making the show? So frustrating how that's considered a norm.
If a show season is already out there and done, obviously binge to your hearts content, you do what you wanna do with the time you have for leisurely watching of course. I just don't think the drop and run format for a whole season on a single day or even in a single week is a healthy practice for animation and I wish studios and investors would reconsider.
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does anyone have like a pet ml episode that is not one of the huge banger plot-heavy ones but just feels like your special episode you’re so fond of. i think mine is psychomedian
#i was rewatching some of s4 today and psychomedian just slaps SO hard. every single part of it.#every single thing that happens in that episode im obsessed with.#adrien’s intense distaste for harry clown. but how he’s so nice about it to nino and marinette who like him#the harry clown/gabi backstory reveal#like. did adrien KNOW harry clown was his dad’s ex. did that factor into the distaste. or is adrien simply a humor snob.#the entire angrybug situation. so incredibly good.#the bit where chat noir is meticulously crafting the lucky charm in the corner with nail polish while angrybug fights off the akuma. SO good#and ending on the adrinette date where adrien has to sit through the most unfunny comedy special in the world but it’s ok because he’s next#to marinette the funniest person he knows.#ALSO the implication that adrien thinks marinette is doing All This as like a bit. like it’s just an advanced comedy routine.#ohh psychomedian what DIDNT you give us#ml#anna rambles
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One thing that I find ironic about Taash's story is that their story is about finding out they're non-binary, yet when it comes to their culture we're going to force them to choose a binary choice of culture.
There should be an option that Rook will encourage Taash to embrace both bc why not? For example I'm Filipino-Chinese, just bc I was born and raised here in the Philippines doesn't mean I'll abandon my Chinese side and only embrace one culture. That scene doesn't feel natural to me.
#taash was written by a white person what can i expect? 🤪#i still have a some criticism with their writing but this binary choice of culture is a joke#their writer didn't study enough about someone having 2 cultures and how it conflicts them#pat rambles#veilguard spoilers#veilguard critical#dragon age#dragon age the veilguard#da: the veilguard#datv#dav#taash
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Different standards
#didnt mean to do this one in quote unquote colour but it wasnt legible without it so. heres a treat i suppose#isat#isat spoilers#in stars and time#in stars and time fanart#isat fanart#isat loop#isat bonnie#lucabyteart#coughs up a lung. anyway. ramble time as per usual. this is what i was warming up for btw in case it wasnt obvious#besides being another entry in the 'letting bonnie read loop for filth on accident' series. this is mostly self indulgent musings on#headcanons (and i will just use that word here.) ive previously rambled about in other tags and posts#namely: in the scenario that loop integrates into the party as a New Person for quite a while before The Truth Come Out. i feel they have#a decent chance at really scoring a slam dunk in becoming a guardian figure for bonnie? loop's demeanor is already colder and a tiny#bit more level-headed than siffrin's in the way they seem to discuss bonnie with them. namely pointing out that bonnie#never really hated them. it seems to be one thing they're genuinely at peace with? they've seen by now the truth that bonnie#was just scared and upset. and likely now knows that what bonnie wants is to be treated with grown-up respect within reason. plus loop#already scores bonus points with bonnie since they didnt 1. fuck up bad like sif did in act 5 and 2. saved sif in the party's eyes#... but then when it turns out that this clean-slate relationship with a stranger was siffrin being deceitful? must have been odd.#bonnie seems to really dislike being lied to. the question is whether they'd see it that way? would they feel betrayed there?#anyway. this is set after all those emotions are at least settled some. loop able to be more physically affectionate... and yet#still not letting themselves be quite as close as they'd like perhaps. perhaps...#anyway translucent pyjamas because i dont care if you're comforting a crying child you've GOT to SERVE!!!#and also i feel like the party probably wouldn't let loop stay completely naked for that long. especially not post-reveal anyway
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I have to know what everyone else thinks of this
#polls#piña rambles#personally everyone is my friend unless stated otherwise#i like to build support for myself#so it baffles me that some people really limit their friend group#idk why
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ulysses would honestly be the perfect candidate for anything enemies to lovers regarding the Courier if people weren't so focused on pretending the random one off Legion members are better written than they actually are
#like. he talks to you so sweetly when you make amends. he feels guilt for it. but people dont obsess over him like they do vulpes or w/e#hmmm i wonder why that is....he doesnt get treated as well by fans as the white character whos way worse of a person.....hmmmm...../sarcasm#seriously though. considering writing some ulysses/james stuff just bc of how overlooked he is#im so obsessed with him now lonesome road might actually now be my favorite dlc#vinny rambles#fallout new vegas#lonesome road#ulysses fnv#ulysses
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RIP Will Campos the only person who was murdered this episode.
#I fucking loved this episode but also FUCK- OH UH DON'T READ MY TAGS IF YOU HAVEN'T FINISHED YET CAUSE UH SPOILERS LOL#dndads#dungeons and daddies#the peachyville horror#dndads spoilers#dndads s3 ep 5#tony collette#ebenezer white#[breathes]#TONYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY#FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK#choosing to believe there's a chance they save him#I REALLY hope they save him#please these tags were gonna be me rambling about how I'm so ready for him to accidentally become an actual spy#and how Ebenezer is just one more person I need him to have homoerotic tension with#BUT NOW WHAT#Anyways poor Will but also not poor Will cause it was REALLY funny how much everyone was screwing with him this episode zkbfeskgzl#stupidly it was the moth bit that got me the most and particularly Matt describing its journey lmao#Somehow- like I knew the Trudy stuff was gonna be dark but somehow it was even darker than I imagined like fuuuuuck#Also sounds like the people who theorized there'd been an og human Trudy were *probably* right?#Heh. But was it a normal death or was she *murdered* dun dun dun#*Very* excited for Kelsey's boxing match#Francis UH OH GOD??#the two scoops line was perfect though#what else what else... No I'm just caught on that ending now god DAMN it I don't care if they pull some cheap shit to save him#oh actually I know exactly what I want out of this but I'll make a separate post about that one sec lol#undescribed
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every day i get hit with the agonising urge to post about my novel while not wanting to be an annoying person who posts about their novel
#ramble#disclaimer i do not think a single person on this planet is annoying posting about their writing#i think **I** am annoying when i post my writing#i am aware this makes absolutely no sense#idk this stupid book has been a WIP for a year now and i feel like i want to talk about it akdjdndn#this is me with anxiety subtly asking for permission for some reason#i’m not insecure about posting my art anymore but i am VERY nervous to post any writing for some reason. maybe bc i know my art is fine#but idk if my writing is ok or if my standards are just really low lmao#maybe actually talking about it will hold me accountable and get me to work on it more
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wanna be wine drunk and touchy with you 😭
#this too much to ask for?#me and fucking who?!#in a need of some of this right now#please and thanks <3#personal#mine#rambles
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ally confirming in the adventuring party that kristen still wants to be a cleric and still a follower of cassandra is both comforting and sad. there’s been speculation abt kristen switching to monk/sorcerer/etc and while that would be really interesting narratively, it would sort of throw the last three episodes of sophomore year out the window in doing so.
i also think this last episode mirrors/reaffirms her commitment (in that she opted to allow cassandra to turn their anger onto her willingly), hence the comforting aspect of her keeping her class. but it is really sad bc as ally said: it’s not that kristen’s not caring, but she’s truly disorganized and so young. in a perfect world someone else would have been cassandra’s prophet, and kristen could just be a normal cleric of cassandra.
the unique role she’s in now, as cass’s sole follower AND prophet, is so similar to the life she left behind as helio’s “chosen one” that i can’t imagine it WOULDN’T be triggering. in a way she’s been almost set up to fail.
#just some ramblings#this js coming from someone who doesn’t personally play dnd but i assume most clerics aren’t prophets?#hopefully this makes sense oop#kristen applebees#cassandra fantasy high#fantasy high#fhjy#fhjy spoilers#dimension 20#d20#ally beardsley
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Okay, I really need people to be more careful these days in accusing an artist of using AI when a ton of artists' styles are the ones being fed without permission into those very AI systems you're trying to fight against. At the very least, delve into their image posting history for even a minute or two to make sure. Throwing out an accusation like that can be extremely damaging to someone who did nothing more then post their art publicly. Don't hurt the same artists you're trying to look out for.
#personal#personal ramblings#seen a few things like this recently and it irked me#your heart is in the right place but please double check even if your gut reaction is thinking it might be generated#otherwise an innocent artist gets hurt and no one wins#some artists even post their process on their blogs or on other linked sites#I know it's gotten even harder to tell with certain images but that's still no excuse for not taking a second to reevaluate
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