#some people will have fun by only picking songs within certain genres like me. and some people think listening to mother mother is fun. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

tpwkjerii · 4 years ago

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oh, zombie!

you’re certain you’ve met the end when you’re cornered by flesh-hungry zombies, but a man with a bat and the bone structure of a god proves you otherwise.

pairing: jungkook x reader

warnings: cursing, shooting guns, weapons, mentions of death, minor angst, fluff, blood, zombies (duh), attempted murder, kinda heated makeout session, namjoon is an accidental cockblock, kissing

genre: zombie apocalypse au, thrill/gore (not too descriptive or graphic), strangers to lovers

word count: 9.8k+

a/n: the zombies in this fic have enhanced smell for corpses and human stress hormones!! and help i have like two other jk drafts rn (& disclaimer: i don’t own the gif above!!)

Fucked.

That was the best word to describe you and your current predicament. Now, with the loud groans of at least four zombies and heavy bangs against the door ringing in your ears, you were really starting to regret entering this grocery store.

You knew you should have trusted your gut when you first approached the store, but the thought of having actual food (not the dry ramen packets you were currently surviving on) and more water (you were on your last bottle) tempted you to push open the glass door and rush into the supermarket without so much as a noise scan. It took only eight seconds for the zombies and their enhanced smell to know that you entered. You were barely able to grab a single bottle of water before you heard an eerily low groan and immediately rushed for shelter in the dairy freezer.

Your twenty seconds of recklessness led you to where you are now, pushed against a cold door while zombies banged heavily against it. You held onto the inner lock as you reached down for your gun, which you were certain only had a few more bullets; regardless, it was your best shot at escaping this store alive. Gathering yourself, you inhaled and exhaled deeply with hope that you could shoot them all fast enough.

Just as you were about to release the lock and face your fate, the groans fell silent and were replaced by the sound of heavy and almost cartoon-like thwacks. Your feet froze as you realized that that was no sound or action a zombie could make — there was another human outside. You had only a few seconds to decide your next move, which would ultimately decide your future and whether you die in the middle of a grocery store dairy storage freezer or not.

Whoever killed the zombies outside could either be a kind-hearted person who didn’t want to see you succumb to a tragic fate or a person who wanted to save you from death by zombies only to kill you for your survival supplies. Considering the fact that they just knocked at least four zombies on their own, you prayed that it wasn’t the latter.

A few silent seconds passed until you eventually moved your hand, and you prayed that this wouldn’t be your second fatal mistake of the day as you slowly unlocked and opened the heavy steel door. Your gun visible in your other hand, you stepped out to see who your potential savior (or murderer) was.

Your eyes landed on the face of an extremely handsome man. Despite the obvious disarray he was in (then again, everyone who manages to survive during a zombie apocalypse is at least some form of messed up), it was clear as day that he was attractive. He had alluring doe-shaped eyes that were deceivingly innocent-looking, long dark hair that fell messily over his forehead, and the facial structure of an absolute god. The cut on his lip, small scratches scattered across his face, and his silver earrings only added to his intimidating impression, and upon seeing the heavy metal bat he held in his right hand, you instinctively tighten your grip on your handgun.

You were so enraptured by his captivating appearance that you nearly forgot the situation you were in.

“Who - who are you?” you finally asked, attempting to keep your voice as level as possible and praying that your face wasn’t red since he definitely noticed you checking him out.

He didn’t look intimidated at all, and a part of you died internally when his lip curled into a smirk. This was not looking good for you. “Are you gonna put that gun down?” he asked, the depth and warmth of his voice throwing you off. He laughed as you only blinked and he continued, “You certainly didn’t have a problem with me when you were checking me out earlier, so why keep the gun up now, babygirl?”

If you weren’t blushing before, you definitely were now. You cursed under your breath as you moved your hand down and quickly placed your gun back in your thigh holster, deciding that he was safe and probably wouldn’t kill you. “I wasn’t checking you out,” you muttered, and he laughed at your obvious lie.

“Whatever makes you feel better, babygirl,” he said, a teasing tone in his airy voice.

Your brows knitted together in irritation at the pet name. “Don’t call me that,” you mumbled, looking down at your worn sneakers awkwardly.

He laughed again, and you found yourself oddly enchanted to his tiny laugh. He took a step towards you, causing you to look up at him as he told you, “I won’t call you ‘babygirl’ if you tell me what your name is.”

You cleared your throat awkwardly before you answered, “My name’s Y/N, what’s yours?”

He grinned, which somehow turned his entire demeanor upside down. With his wide smile, he was no longer the intimidating guy that took down three zombies on his own with just a bat, but rather a nice guy that just wanted to help out a fellow human from being killed by zombies.

“Jungkook,” he answered simply as he began to walk away from you and through the store aisles.

“Jungkook,” you repeated, familiarizing the way his name rolled off your tongue with a nod. “So, Jungkook, what brought you into this store?” you asked, rushing to walk alongside him and skim through the aisles.

“This your first time outside, Y/N?” he asked, abruptly stopping to turn and look at you. You froze and dropped the bag of chips you were holding at the sudden eye contact. He sighed and moved to pick up the chips and place it back onto the shelves. “I was wandering around the area, and I saw that you walked right into a trap,” he told you.

“A trap?” you asked, your mouth falling open in surprise.

He nodded and motioned for you to help him fill his rucksack with water bottles. “Looters will leave trace scents or pieces of human remains to attract zombies to popular places survivors will drift to. Once any survivors enter and get killed by the zombies, the looters will come back, off the zombies, and take their supplies,” he explained with a grimace.

Your face twisted, and you suddenly felt even luckier that Jungkook saved you. “How do you know? I mean, how did you know that the looters were here?” you asked, still a bit unsettled at the fact that you basically walked straight-first into a death trap.

Jungkook zipped up his backpack, now full of at least 20 water bottles, and headed towards the dried foods. “I spotted one of their vans when I was walking around, so I figured they were in the area. Then I saw you entering the store and bingo — I was right,” he told you nonchalantly as he stuffed various dried fruits and snacks into his pockets.

“Take some of these,” he added, gesturing towards the few remaining dark chocolate bars.

You nodded, briefly admiring his casual attitude as you shoved two handfuls of the chocolate into your jacket pockets. “How did you recognize them? Have you had any… run-ins with them?” you wondered curiously, picking up your pace to match his quicker steps as he made his way down the remaining store aisles.

“They approached me to join them when this whole thing started,” he started, pausing to laugh softly at the shocked expression on your face. He shook his head as he continued, “I said no because what they do is twisted. Luring people to their deaths for some sick form of fun. They say they do it for the supplies but we all know that’s a lie.”

You nodded your head thoughtfully. “Oh, well, I guess that’s an admirable and sane choice.”

He murmured in agreement, and you walked alongside him, unconsciously humming a song that had been stuck in your head for a while. Being with Jungkook, who was both stronger and more knowledgeable than you, provided you with a sense of comfort. Additionally, he wasn’t shooing you off and willingly accepted your company (for the past 10 minutes, at least). Before you even knew it, you two reached the front store doors.

He walked out first, holding the door open behind him. You faltered, a second thought of “does he really want me to go with him?” running through your head.

He raised a brow, opening the door a bit wider. “You coming?”

“Wh- what?” you stuttered in disbelief.

“Do you want to come with me or not?” he asked. “C’mon, babygirl. We don’t have all day. Those looters are bound to come back soon.”

At the mention of those evil people, your legs moved instantly. You rushed out of the door towards Jungkook’s side and eagerly turned to face him. “Where to?”

He laughed, and you swore it was one of the most enchanting tones you’ve ever heard, before saying, “What’s the place you’re staying in like?”

You thought back to your small home and the painful disarray it was in. It was a miracle that you were able to survive so long considering how ill-prepared you were for an apocalypse to happen.

“Er, probably not as good as yours,” you answered sheepishly.

“Fair enough.” He nodded at the anticipated answer and began to walk in the opposite direction that you came from. You continued alongside him, internally screaming at how lucky you were. Not only did Jungkook completely save your life, he let you stay with him! You didn’t understand why, seeing as you were arguably an impediment to his survival, but you were grateful regardless.

The city around you was lifeless. What was once home to millions of citizens and the hustle and bustle of daily routines was reduced to empty stone buildings, the only people left either roaming as the undead or too afraid to come out. Within two weeks, the city and all its people changed entirely.

As you walked alongside Jungkook, you wondered what type of life he led before the apocalypse. Was he a student like you? Did he have a job? Was he a police officer or firefighter? Did he have family?

Several questions imposed themselves in your brain, and it was enough to almost distract you from Jungkook’s words.

“That van over there is a looter van,” he informed you, pointing towards a parked black van that had unrecognizable red symbols sprayed on it. “Each one has different symbols on it, but they’re all in red so they know where each one is and don’t mess up a potential job.”

You nodded and absorbed his words. You definitely passed a van like that when you were walking towards the store. “That’s good to know,” you whispered, your voice strained with mild fear.

He didn’t say anything else in response and continued forward, gently tugging you along with him when you lingered in your spot a second too long as you stared at the van.

Jungkook led you for a few more minutes, each second only increasing your curiosity as to where he was taking you and what he was really like. Silence prevailed until you heard a low groan and the distinguishable sound of a foot dragging along gravel. You stiffened and unconsciously moved to grip Jungkook’s hand.

He stopped in his tracks and gently pushed you towards a building wall. Once both your backs were pressed flat against the stone wall, he adjusted the grip on his bat and you reached for the gun in your thigh holster. The zombie’s groans grew louder as it approached. You knew they couldn’t see and had a very limited sense of hearing, but you wondered if you or Jungkook had anything on you that attracted its hunger for rotting flesh or stress.

You held your breath as the zombie came into view, its decaying body and unsettling groans disturbing you. It walked closer, although not directly towards you. You raised your gun the same time as Jungkook lifted his bat, but you didn’t have to pull the trigger and Jungkook didn’t have to swing as the zombie only walked straight past you two, leaving only its rotting scent behind.

You breathed out in relief and relaxed your shoulders as you placed your handgun back in its holster. “Thank god,” you whispered.

“Let’s go,” was all Jungkook said before he grabbed your hand and pulled you with him. It seemed like you weren’t the only one anxious to get out of the open.

Jungkook’s home was much, much better than yours (if you could even call your tiny studio that).

“Holy shit,” you whispered as you admired the fortified mansion. High stone walls and a metal gate surrounded the large two-story house. “You have this place all to yourself?” you asked Jungkook. Now you were really curious what his profession before this was.

He shook his head as he unlocked the gate with a key. “A few friends live with me,” he answered simply before slipping the key back in his jean pocket. “They should all be awake by now.”

You nodded and followed closely behind him as he walked up the short pathway to the front door. As he opened the door, you heard a loud yell come from within.

“Kookie!” he yelled, his voice smooth and deep.

You saw Jungkook’s face turn red as he quickly shut the door with a slightly mortified facial expression.

“Uh -”

The door burst open. “Kookie!” a man shouted before enveloping Jungkook into a tight hug. You stepped to the side, observing the affectionate interaction with a grin. The man who barreled into Jungkook had black, fluffy hair that was held back by a black hairband. He was on the thinner side, but still built, and appeared to be a bit taller and tanner than Jungkook. When he released the hug and turned to face you, your breath hitched.

He was attractive.

“Who’d you bring home?” he asked Jungkook, a boxy smile directed towards you.

“Her name is Y/N, I caught her just before some zombies got her,” Jungkook answered as he nudged you and the man inside.

As you stepped through the front door, you observed the large home’s tasteful interior. A pristine white kitchen was to the right of you, apparently well-stocked based on the two open cabinets that were filled with snacks and ramen. To the left of you was an open living room with one large couch and two smaller ones surrounding a paper-filled coffee table and a large TV mounted onto the wall.

Impressive, you thought.

The fluffy-haired man stepped in front of you, his contagious smile still going strong. “I’m Taehyung. It’s nice to meet you!”

You smiled at him. It’d been a while since you met new people, much less people with such warm and friendly dispositions. “It’s nice to meet you too,” you returned honestly.

Jungkook cleared his throat, announcing suddenly, “I’ll show Y/N around.”

You turned to face him, noticing that he had taken off his bags and leather jacket. His bare arms were now exposed, and you immediately noticed how sculpted he was. A sleeve of various tattoos decorated one of his arms, drawing your attention to the ink on his defined muscles. His other arm was more bare, but still had a few figures on it. Realizing that you were probably staring for too long, you tore your eyes away with a nod before you set down your own bag and followed Jungkook.

He took you past the living room and kitchen through a hallway, showing you where the first floor bathroom, in-home gym, and office were. You gaped at the book-filled office that also housed several weapons. Lined across the wall were several guns, knives, and other weapons you couldn’t even name. After you recovered from what you saw in the office, he led you up the stairs.

“This is Taehyung and Jimin’s room,” he said, pointing to the first door in the hallway. “Jin and Yoongi’s.” He pointed to the door next to the first one. “Namjoon’s.” He then pointed towards the first door on the opposite side of the hall. “And mine.” He pointed to the door next to Namjoon’s.

You nodded, resisting the urge to ask about their family members since you knew it could be a sensitive subject for them. “Are they all home?” you wondered. “Well, except for Taehyung, I guess,” you added as an afterthought.

Jungkook nodded. “Jin, Yoongi, and Jimin are probably in their rooms. Namjoon will be out for the next few days getting some stuff, so you can stay in his room for now.”

Your lips parted in shock. “No, no! That’s his room. It’s fine, I can sleep on the couches if anything!”

“It’s fine, he won’t mind,” Jungkook insisted.

But you shook your head in persistence. “Really, I’m completely fine with the couch. I wouldn’t want to make Namjoon feel uncomfortable or anything.”

He sighed and shrugged, seemingly relenting to your wishes. “Alright, we can head back down then,” he said as he turned back to the stairs.

Before you followed him, your eyes landed on the last door all the way down the hallway. You had no idea what was behind it, yet it still emitted an ominous and mysterious aura that called out to you. “Wait,” you said before you even thought about it. Just as he turned to face you, the realization that he probably didn’t tell you what was in that room for a reason (whatever that was) hit you.

“Er - nevermind!” You laughed awkwardly, hoping he would drop it. But it was too late — he already noticed your lingering gaze on the locked door.

“Don’t go in that room,” he stated bluntly before turning around, not giving you a chance to respond. “There’s nothing in there that’s of importance to you,” he added as he walked down the stairs. You rushed to follow him after him, still intimidated to be in this big house with completely new people, muttering words of agreement.

Everyone in this house was shockingly nice. Jimin was undeniably kind and spent your entire first night at your side, making sure you felt comfortable in this new place. Yoongi, although more reserved, didn’t hesitate to check if you were alright whenever you spaced out or got scared by a sudden noise. Lastly, Jin was incredibly attentive; from asking you if you had any food allergies or if you preferred baths or showers, he did his best to welcome you.

(They were all also really attractive, but that's besides the point).

Before you knew it, a week passed. Seven days of playing board games with Jimin and Taehyung, cooking with Jin, talking about conspiracy theories with Yoongi, and working out (and trying to avoid) with Jungkook.

Why were you trying to avoid him? Well, despite having met Jungkook first, you couldn’t help but start to feel awkward around him. Not because he made you feel uncomfortable or the reverse, but rather due to your undeniable attraction to him. It certainly didn’t help that his personality complemented his beautiful appearance well. On the outside, Jungkook appeared cold and intimidating, but on the inside he was soft and kind. He was exactly like one of the many fictional characters you’d fallen in love with before.

Your first official day at the house, you kept your cool pretty well. Of course, Jungkook and his endearing behavior and large, doe eyes had to ruin it. Then again, it was also on you for not listening to your initial instinct of avoiding the gym machines. What exactly happened?

Well, after three failed attempts of using the machine from hell (you didn’t even know it’s name), Jungkook finally decided that it was just getting sad and moved from his machine to help you.

“You’re supposed to use your arms to bring it back,” he said with a teasing tone as he neared you. You jumped in your seat and looked up at the mirror to see his figure stopping directly behind you. Your breath hitched as he leaned down and… oh fuck, did his arms just brush up against yours?

Face burning red, you looked away with a violent cough. “Er, I knew that.”

He laughed softly at your embarrassed expression, the enchanting sound of his lap wreaking havoc on your already weak heart. You turned towards him and gently pushed his chest with a scoff.

“You don’t have to laugh at me,” you grumbled.

“Sometimes I can’t help it,” he countered with a smug smile.

You particularly liked when he smiled since he reminded you of a bunny whenever he did — especially when he had a large smile and his eyes formed happy, crescent moons with twinkling stars. Jungkook’s grin (and laugh) was as infectious as Taehyung’s and Jin’s, and he was, overall, a perfect person in your eyes. Even as he made fun of you (jokingly, of course), you swore he was sent from the stars above.

Deciding it best to not catch feelings for your savior and person who graciously housed you, you tried to keep your distance from him since then. Whenever he entered the room, you tried your best to subtly leave (bless Seokjin for being exceptionally understanding of your “cramps”) and when he tried talking only to you or directing the conversation to you, you roped someone else into the discussion. It worked for the most part as you talked to the others more and ignored the way Jungkook made your heart race whenever you thought about him, but today you were out of luck.

“Y/N and Jungkook, supplies run today.”

You gaped at Jin from your spot on the couch. “What? Me? Are you sure?” you asked, silently pleading with your eyes.

He rolled his eyes and nodded, bending down to gently pat your head. “Yes, you. Don’t worry, you’ll have Kookie with you.”

“And this,” Yoongi added as he dropped a gun much larger than your small handgun in your lap.

You looked up at him in shock. “I don’t know how to use this!”

He shrugged. “I’m sure you’ll figure it out if you’ll need to use it.”

“C’mon, Y/N. You’re gonna have to pull your weight if you wanna stay with us,” Taehyung told you, winking at you when Jungkook entered the living room with his gear. Your eyes widened at him, but you couldn’t say anything as Jungkook approached you.

“Ready to go?” he asked.

You sighed and stood up begrudgingly. With an excessively-large gun in hand and empty backpack strapped to you, you exited the house with Jungkook at your side. Together, you silently walked down the same path he took you up almost a week ago.

You embraced the peacefulness of this secluded area. Jungkook’s home was quite secluded, and the surrounding trees were home to blissful breezes and a variety of chirping animals. Despite the downfall of humanity, it seemed that wildlife was flourishing, you noted.

“So I guess I’ll ask now,” Jungkook started, capturing your attention. You turned and looked up at him, anxiously waiting for him to continue. “Were you staying with anyone before? I assume not since you’re with us now…”

You shook your head. Your voice lowered as you answered, “I was all by myself.” He frowned while you continued. “My parents were on a trip abroad with my best friend Hobi when it happened.” Your eyes teared up as you mentioned your family and Hobi, who was basically your older brother.

“I’m sorry,” Jungkook said softly, placing a comforting hand on your shoulder.

“It’s ok,” you mumbled. “The last call I got from my parents before all the cell towers went down, Hobi was doing alright with them. I’m thankful that they have him.”

“I’m sure that Hobi is doing a good job taking care of himself and your parents,” he responded soothingly.

You nodded, blinking your tears away as you diverted your gaze towards your moving feet. “So what about you?” you asked after a few silent moments. “Do you have any family?”

He cleared his throat and tightened his grip on his backpack. “My parents didn’t make it,” he answered bluntly.

Your head whipped towards him. “I’m so sorry,” you said rushedly. “I don’t know why I even asked you, I overste-”

“It’s fine,” he cut you off, gently turning your head to face the road path ahead of you two. “I was the one who asked first, anyways.”

You looked down again in shame. “Sorry again,” you murmured.

Jungkook smiled down at you before a small laugh escaped his lips. Your heart picked up it’s pace when he laced his hand with yours and pulled you forward. “Come on, the supplies won’t get themselves.”

You felt an odd sense of deja vu as you ran out of the grocery store, Jungkook following behind you and a horde of hungry zombies behind the both of you.

But let’s back up a few moments to ten minutes prior to this predicament.

You and Jungkook finally reached the grocery store that Jin had been scoping out via hidden camera for the past week. Your eyes were delighted by the sight of shelves lined with a variety of foods and freezers that still had cold air circulating behind the glass doors.

“This is one of the few places that run on solar power, so the electricity still functions in here,” Jungkook explained when he noticed your confusion at how he was able to turn off the lights and the gust of cold air that greeted him as he opened one of the freezer doors to grab an ice cream bar.

“I’m surprised no one’s hit this place up yet,” you said as you took out the list of supplies that Jin gave you before you left.

“Jin’s been watching this place for a while. He thinks no one’s come here because it’s kinda far away.”

You nodded in agreement, thinking back to the long walk you and Jungkook took to get here. You supposed not many people wanted to risk being out in the open for so long and didn’t find the commute worth it.

“Is Jin watching us right now?” you asked Jungkook curiously.

During your short few days at their house, you quickly learned each person’s role. Yoongi, who used to be an engineer, builds all the cameras and weapons. Jin, a former director and computer whiz, monitors the cameras that he and Taehyung set up around the city. Taehyung, a film and dance student, helps Jin set up the cameras in obscure places and trains with Jungkook and Jimin. Jimin, a skilled dancer, often accompanies Jungkook and Taehyung during training and supplies runs. Unfortunately, Jimin sprained his ankle recently and Taehyung injured his arm during training, leaving the supplies-run to Jungkook.

The only person you had yet to meet was Namjoon. According to the others, Namjoon was a former pre-med student and scientist who was on a trip to find something. Of course, they didn’t tell you what that something was. And while you were curious, you also didn’t want to overstep your boundaries and risk being kicked out.

“Probably, he usually watches camped out places to monitor and che-”

You and Jungkook both turned your head at the recognizable low rumble of a car. He was quick to grab your hand and pull you down onto the ground, out of view from the front glass windows. You held your breath at the sound of a car door opening and then the ringing bell as the front door was pulled open a few seconds later.

Jungkook reached towards his large gun, but he halted when he recognized the distinguishable stench that the random person carried in. Your eyes widened when Jungkook began panicking, his fingers fumbling for his walkie talkie.

You heard a heavy thud and the sound of the ringing bell again as the mysterious person exited the store. You waited until the rumbling of the car grew distant before you looked up and cursed loudly.

“Fuck! He dumped a dead body here!” you cried, stomach churning at the sight of the pale corpse.

Jungkook groaned from beside you and rushed towards the front of the store, poking his head out of the door and looking both ways. “Fucking looters!” he cursed as he moved his head back and hit the window.

Steering clear of the dead body, you walked towards Jungkook and craned your head to see what he was looking at. The sight of several zombies, more stumbling out of random buildings and streets to join the crowd, heading straight for the store. “Shit! What are we gonna do! They’re already down the block!”

Jungkook ran his hand through his hair in frustration. “Fuck, ok, did you get everything?”

You quickly scanned through the paper list and peered into your open backpack. “Most, but I forgot to get some things,” you answered quickly as you mentally checked off each item you saw.

“Which ones?” Jungkook asked, already zipping up his backpack.

A blush spread across your chest and neck, and you wished that you didn’t have to answer. But judging by Jungkook’s stressed face as the zombies’ groans grew louder, you knew you were in no position to stall. “Er. Feminine hygiene stuff,” you blurted.

Jungkook paled before blushing immediately after. His body movements stuttered momentarily before he nodded and headed towards the back of the store. “Shit, ok. Start running!”

You stared at him in bewilderment. “What? I’m not leaving you behind!”

“Just go!” he shouted.

You felt the alarm in your body grow as your head darted between Jungkook’s frantically moving body and the group of zombies just down the street. Knowing that even Jungkook didn’t stand a chance against all those zombies, you ended up on a decision that you really hoped would end up working out.

“Fuck,” you whispered as you looked down at your large gun and adjusted your grip. In one swift move, you kicked open the door and began shooting the zombies, which were now coming from both directions across the street. Your aim wasn’t the best, but it was good enough to pierce bullets through a good amount of them straight in the neck or chest.

“Jungkook! Hurry up!” you cried as you held down the trigger, praying that Yoongi packed enough bullets in the gun.

Small piles of rotting bodies began forming as deceased zombies collapsed to the ground and the other ones climbed over them to get to you. But the few zombies you managed to kill were easily outweighed by all the live ones still clamoring towards you. A cry of frustration left you as you realized that the noise from the gun and the obscene amount of stress radiating from you and Jungkook were just attracting more zombies in the area.

Jungkook ran up towards you, several boxes of various tampons and pads in hand. “I didn’t know which one you wanted! Let’s go!”

In a normal situation, you would have thanked him for his thoughtfulness, but this wasn’t a normal situation by any means.

You and Jungkook ran out of the store towards the house, both turning back occasionally to shoot any zombie that was getting too close. Your breaths grew uneven from exhaustion, but the sheer amount of adrenaline pumping within you kept you and your weak legs going.

“Don’t get too tired! I’ll shoot, just keep running!” Jungkook instructed you when he noticed you clutching your side in pain.

“It’s fine, I’ll be fine!” you responded. But you spoke too soon as you tripped over a rock not even a minute later. “Shit!” you cursed as you landed on your hands and knees before immediately standing back up and catching up to Jungkook, who had stopped a few feet ahead of you when he noticed that you fell.

He didn’t say anything as he gently turned your hands over and examined them. Cuts, with blood flowing freely from them and tiny rocks stuck in between the open skin, covered the palm of your hand and your fingers. Jungkook’s eyebrows creased in concern as he moved his eyes down your body to your knees, which now had deep, bleeding gashes in them from the rocks that cut through your jeans and broke your skin.

“Jungkook, it’s fine. We have to go.” You moved your hands to your side and pulled him to continue running, cringing at how your blood stained the bottom of his black denim jacket and his hands. He cursed, obviously wanting to say something, but continued alongside you.

Thanks to the unexpected delay, the zombies had gained on you by a good few meters. You winced as you turned around and pressed the trigger of your gun, the spray of bullets taking a few of them down. But your tiny sense of relief didn’t last long as you soon heard an empty click and noticed that nothing was leaving the end of your gun — you were out of bullets.

You cursed and turned forwards again. “How many rounds do you have left?” you asked Jungkook, panting heavily as you continued running next to him.

“Not that many,” he answered, concern evident on his face.

You looked back at the relenting zombies, hot on your tail, and cursed. How were you going to get yourselves out of this one?

The answer to your question was presented to you in the form of a poorly-driven SUV that was heading down the road and straight towards you and Jungkook.

“Thank god!” Jungkook cried as he pulled you to the side and out of the vehicle’s path.

“Thank god?” you repeated in confusion.

The black SUV halted to a stop in front of you and Jungkook, the doors opening automatically.

“Get in!” you heard a new voice shout.

You and Jungkook didn’t waste a second to climb into the car, which quickly sped away once Jungkook slammed the door shut behind him. Neither of you had the chance to breathe as the zombies, which seemed to have grown even faster, jumped for the back of the car.

“How did they get even faster?” Jungkook cried as he pulled your shaking body towards him.

“The fast ones might be mutations, I found more reports on them the other day,” the silver-haired man in the front with glasses answered. You assumed that this was Namjoon, considering his answer and that Jungkook didn’t mention anyone else.

“Mutations?” you cried, jumping when a hand smacked your backseat window. “These fuckers are mutating?”

Namjoon didn’t get a chance to answer as he harshly turned the steering wheel, sending the car swerving and you and Jungkook barrelling to the other side of the car.

“Namjoon you’re so shit at driving!” Jungkook exclaimed as he rubbed the side of his head that clashed with the glass window.

Namjoon scoffed. “Don’t talk to your hyung like that when I just saved your life! And who told you not to put on seat belts?!”

“Yeah, let me just put on a seatbelt while there’s zombies cha-”

You gasped suddenly and pulled yourself up towards the front. Head directly next to Namjoon’s, you reached your bloody hands up towards the steering wheel. “There’s a bunny!” you shouted as you swerved the car out of the way, sending Jungkook to the other side of the car and wincing as your waist collided with the firm side of the passenger seat.

“Y/N, what the fuck!” you heard Jungkook moan.

“We were gonna kill the bunny!” you protested in your defense as you rubbed your side and sat back down next to Jungkook.

“We have other things to worry about!” he yelled.

“God! I’m sorry, you’re right,” you groaned as you leaned back down into the back seat.

“They’re slowing down!” Namjoon suddenly announced, his eyes focused on his windshield mirror. “Look, they’re retreating!”

You and Jungkook both turned around towards the back window. Just as Namjoon said, the zombies stopped chasing you, instead shuffling in place or back the other direction. With the threat of zombies gone, you let out a breath of relief and closed your eyes.

You kept your eyes shut as Jungkook grabbed your hands and gently ran his fingers across the open wounds, his touch sending electricity through your body. Despite the rush from his soft touch, exhaustion still tugged at you and weighed down your eyelids.

With the comforting feeling of Jungkook’s hand wrapped around yours, you drifted into unconsciousness.

Your nap was unfortunately short lived. It took only a few moments to arrive back home, and upon exiting the car, the three of you were immediately greeted by everyone else in the home.

“Y/N!!” Jimin greeted as he walked slowly over to you. Jin closely followed the blond to make sure that he didn’t hurt his ankle.

“Jimin!” you said with an equal amount of excitement, throwing your hands up into a welcoming gesture.

Jimin and Jin gasped as you revealed your bloodied and cut up hands.

“You’re hurt!” Jin sputtered as he rushed towards you. “Your knees too!”

“It’s fine, it only stings a little,” you admitted sheepishly. It wasn’t a complete lie — you didn’t exactly have the time to think about your injuries while running for your life.

Jin shook his head. “Come inside, I’ll treat the cuts a-”

“It’s fine, I can do it,” Jungkook said, suddenly appearing at your side.

The older man raised his eyebrows. “You sure, Kookie? Don’t you want to rest?”

Jungkook shook his head and silently pulled you into the house, leaving you to shrug in confusion at the guys behind you. You followed Jungkook through the first floor, up the stairs, and into his room.

His bedroom was similar to what you expected. The walls were painted a dark grey color and there wasn’t much in the room other than the basic furniture and a few pictures and art frames. You sat down on the plain black sheets as Jungkook walked to his dresser and pulled out a first aid kit.

“Why didn’t you just let Jin treat my cuts?” you asked Jungkook quietly, noticing faint signs of exhaustion in his slow movements.

He hesitated to respond. His hands stilled on the top of the red kit as he slowly responded, “I thought this was the only way I’d be able to speak with you… alone.”

“Why?” you asked, praying that you weren’t blushing as assumptions instantly formed in your mind.

He cleared his throat and opened the kit, instantly reaching for several bandaids, disinfectant pads, and antibacterial wound ointment. “Well,” he started as he gently grabbed your hands and turned them so your palms were facing up. He opened the pack of disinfectant pads and swiped them across your hands and knees. “I wanted to ask you why you’ve been avoiding me the past few days.”

Your heart dropped. You didn’t realize that Jungkook noticed how you tried your best to steer clear of him; but it wasn’t like you could really tell him that it was because you were starting to have feelings for him,

“Was it something I said? I did?” he asked as he spread the cold ointment on the open wounds.

“No,” you answered quickly — a little too quickly judging by the way his head darted up to meet your eyes. You blushed under his stare and continued, “You didn’t do anything to offend me, Jungkook.”

“Then why are you avoiding me?” His voice was uncharacteristically soft, almost pleading.

You groaned inwardly and wished you could cover your face with your hands, but Jungkook held them firmly in his as he bandaged them. A few seconds of dragged-on silence passed before you looked down at your lap and responded vaguely. “I didn’t want to make things awkward between us.”

His hands stopped and his brows furrowed in confusion. “Why would things be awkward between us?”

Blood rushed to your face as you looked up to make painful eye contact with him. “Do you really want to know?” you whined, already anticipating Jungkook’s answer since you’d become quite familiar with his stubbornness over the past few days.

“Yes,” he started. “Please tell me,” he said, feigning an expression of a wounded puppy.

You cursed under your breath and brought your freshly bandaged hands (you ignored that one of the bandages was only half on, courtesy of Jungkook’s prior confusion) up to your face.

“Do you promise not to make fun of me? Or kick me out?”

He laughed, although the soft sound didn’t match the nervousness in his expression. “Yes, I promise.”

His words prompted you to breathe in deeply, mentally preparing yourself for your confession. You can do this, you said to yourself. If you could shoot and run from at least thirty zombies, then you could definitely tell Jungkook you had feelings for him. Right?

It wasn’t like you could keep on avoiding him forever, anyways. With the rate that the apocalypse was going and based off the past few days, it looked like you were going to be at this house a while. You just hoped that your reveal wouldn’t make your stay awkward for either him or you.

Jungkook cleared his throat. “Y/N?”

You hummed, still stuck in your thoughts before finally responding. “I… I may or may not be incredibly attracted to you and have feelings for you,” you admitted reluctantly. Jungkook’s lips parted in shock, but he didn’t get a chance to respond before you continued in a panic. “You already promised you wouldn’t make fun of me or kick me out! No take backs!”

He laughed, and you cringed as you were sure it was a laugh of rejection and that the dulcet notes would be a new cause of your nightmares. But the words he said after proved the opposite.

“That’s a relief.” You looked up, a bewildered look on your face. “I like you too,” he mumbled bashfully, his long hair falling in front of his face as he looked down at his lap.

Your body froze. “D-Did I hear that right? Have I not gone crazy?”

He looked back up at you with a grin. “Crazy for me,” he joked with a wink.

Unimpressed, your face dropped. “I take it all back, I’ll go pack my-”

Jungkook shook his head with a chuckle. “Kidding, kidding,” he said, enveloping his slender hands around yours. “But I was completely serious about liking you back.”

“Really?” you asked, still in slight disbelief that Jungkook, who could literally have his portrait and biography in a hall of all Earthly legends, had feelings for you.

“Yes, really.”

You opened your mouth, ready to shoot a doubtful reply, but Jungkook cut you off with the lift of his hand. He rested his hand back down around yours before continuing, “I know you’re probably going to say something self-deprecating or a joke or ask me if i’m joking again, so you might as well let me speak first.”

He grinned at the way your face heated, priding himself on how well he knew you already.

“The way you wish each of us goodnight every night, the way you wake up early to help Jin prepare breakfast, the way you cuss whenever you’re nervous, the way you always try to keep up with whatever stuff we’re doing - even when it’s stupid - and keep a smile on your face; everything about you made me fall for you. Even before the apocalypse, I never felt this way for anyone else.” He took a deep breath, gently squeezing your hands. “The night I first brought you here, it felt like seeing you enter that store and meeting you was fate. You make questionable decisions, we both saw that today, but I’m glad that one of them brought us together because I honestly don’t think I can ever meet anyone else like you.”

A wide smile spread across your face and tears pricked your eyes. Never in your many years of life had anyone told you such genuine, heartfelt words. And no one noticed (or appreciated) those small things about you - your habits that were always brushed over - like Jungkook did.

You agreed with his claim of you making questionable (stupid) decisions, but in this moment you were thankful for your sometimes-dangerous spontaneity and rash decision making. Because if it weren’t for that sudden moment of desperation where you ran into the grocery store, you never would have met Jungkook. Your heart wouldn’t be racing like it was right now and your hands wouldn’t be warm from the feeling of his wrapped around them.

“What do you say?” he asked weakly, bringing you out of your thoughts.

“What is there to say?” you countered before you released your hands from his and interlocked your fingers around his lower body. The position was a bit awkward, but you didn’t mind. Less than a few seconds later, your lips were pressed against his.

Jungkook moved his hands from the small of your back to your neck up to your hair. He pulled you in closer to him as he deepened the kiss. You gasped and tightened your grip around him as he effortlessly lifted you up so you were sitting on his lap with your legs wrapped around his waist. He swiped his tongue against your bottom lip and gently bit it, drawing a moan from you.

You shifted in his lap, pulling a deep groan from him as he pulled away from your lips to trail kisses down your jaw and neck. A shiver ran down your spine as you felt him suck on your collarbone and upper chest to leave marks for him to see the next day. Just as Jungkook slipped his cool hands under your shirt, a startling voice rang from the other side of the door.

“Jungkook!”

The long-haired boy beneath you groaned in annoyance but continued to kiss you. “Just ignore him, he’ll go away,” Jungkook mumbled against your lips as he dragged his hands against the skin of your stomach.

You nodded, embracing the fiery feeling of his kisses and his hands against your bare skin.

“Jungkook!” the voice cried again, causing Jungkook to curse and groan again. “It’s urgent!”

“This better be good,” Jungkook grumbled as he reluctantly pulled away from you.

You frowned at the loss of his touch, but you didn’t have much time to mourn it as he instantly straightened his back once Namjoon said, “It’s about Project B.”

Your brows raised at Jungkook’s sudden reaction to whatever this “Project B” was. He turned to you with an apologetic look before gently setting you onto the bed and moving towards the door.

“Sorry,” he apologized quickly as he straightened his shirt. “I’ll talk to you tonight, I promise.” With that, he was out the door, leaving you in his room with only your thoughts (and hands and knees that had yet to be fully bandaged).

It had been nearly 8 hours since Jungkook had promised that he would speak to you at night. By now, the moon was high in the sky, it’s radiant glow doing nothing to calm your nerves. You knew that whatever Jungkook and Namjoon had to discuss was urgent, but how could he just leave you like that? You were barely able to process the best kiss of your life by the time you realized that you were still sitting stupidly on his bed after he left the room.

You sighed and moved from the window seat in the living room to the kitchen. Joining Jin at the counter, you plopped your head against the stone material with a groan.

“Jungkook and Joon are still in their little lab?” he guessed, nonchalantly flipping his book to the next page.

You nodded pitifully, now knowing that the mysterious room was a lab of some sorts.

“Here,” Jin said before standing suddenly, prompting you to look up at him. He grabbed a bowl of washed fruits from beside the sink and gestured for you to take it. “Bring it up to them.”

“But Jungkook said I ca-”

“I don’t care what he said. Tell him that they shouldn’t have skipped dinner,” Jin instructed firmly.

You nodded, a bit intimidated by Jin’s sudden sternness, and quickly took the bowl with you up the stairs. You slowly approached the door at the end of the hall, the ceramic bowl filled with strawberries and peeled clementines wobbling in your shaky hands. As you took each step, you imagined Jungkook bursting through the door and expressing his disappointment in you for even thinking about entering the room.

Luckily, that didn’t come and you reached the door in less than a minute.

Clearing your throat, you knocked against the door with your elbow. “Jungkook?” you called.

No response.

“Jungkook? Namjoon?” you called again, only to be met with what sounded like a low groan.

Your breath hitched in your throat. That noise didn’t sound pleasant at all.

You placed a weary hand on the door knob but quickly pulled it away as if it was burning hot. Debating thoughts battled in your hand: Jungkook clearly told you not to go in the room but what if Jungkook or Namjoon was in trouble? Wouldn’t leaving despite knowing that one of them could be hurt make you a terrible person (or girlfriend—you didn’t really know what you and Jungkook were yet)?

Taking a deep breath, you grabbed the silver doorknob and twisted it open. You stepped into the dimly lit room slowly, gasping at the sight before you.

“Lab” was definitely the right word to describe the room that almost mirrored your high school chemistry class. Seven tables sat in the room, four of which were filled with stacks of papers and folders while the other three had various lab equipment tools atop the black tabletops. It didn’t just end at the tables either.

“What is all this?” you mumbled to yourself as you examined the crowded walls. There was barely an inch of blank wall left as papers, newspaper clippings, photos (some rather disturbing), and notes decorated the wall like a second wallpaper.

You slowly walked through the room, examining the items pinned to the walls. Most of it was related to the zombie apocalypse, with newspapers (from when those were still around) detailing the first outbreaks and theories of the cause and papers filled with concepts you barely remembered from chemistry, physiology, and biology. Accompanying the scientific notes and articles were several pictures, some of zombies and others of medical abnormalities that you couldn’t quite explain.

One picture caught your eye, and you barely managed to place the fruit bowl down on a table with just enough space for it before you rushed over to the photo. The aged photo had three people, presumably a family, in it. A mother and father stood proudly behind their son, their hands on his shoulders as he beamed at the camera with his hands on his lap. The boy looked familiar. His round eyes and bunny-like smile eerily reminded you of -

“What are you doing?”

The unexpected voice sent a shiver down your body, and you jumped as you turned around to face him.

Jungkook.

You mentally hit yourself — you were so distracted by the items of the room that you failed to notice Jungkook waking up at his spot with Namjoon, slouched over and faces pressed onto one of the paper-filled tables.

“Um,” you started, unable to find the right words as you stared at his unreadable facial expression. You couldn’t tell if he was angry, disappointed, sad, scared, or possibly even all four.

He let out a frustrated groan and ran his tattooed hand through his long hair. “Just tell me what you saw,” he instructed firmly.

“N-not much!” you stuttered, your eyes wide. “I — Jin fruit! Yes! I just came here to bring you Jin — I mean fruit! I came to bring you fruit! Like Jin told me to!” Heat spread across your face as you attempted to explain yourself.

Jungkook’s eyes narrowed between you and the ceramic fruit bowl you pointed to, and he would’ve laughed at your clear disarray if he didn’t feel so anxious.

“You were looking at the walls, you must have seen something,” he deduced.

Your body stuttered as you gestured towards the photo you were looking at. “Nope! Just some things about zombies and… and this picture of you — fun stuff!”

He sighed and you cringed as he placed his hands on your shoulders. But he didn’t scold you or tell you how disappointed he was like you expected; instead, he let his head fall and mumbled something that you weren’t sure if it was meant towards you or himself.

“I guess it’s time I told you the truth.”

Your brows furrowed at his words. The truth? Judging by the contents of the room, they were studying the zombies; and it wasn’t all that surprising considering that Namjoon was technically a scientist and almost-doctor. Why was Jungkook so afraid to tell you?

He lifted his head up, and your heart clenched at the look of pure vulnerability on his face. “Will you promise me that you won’t judge me or run away?” he whispered.

You nodded. “Of course.”

“My parents were scientists who worked for the national lab. I didn’t really know what happened at their work or what projects they were doing because I was in university doing my own stuff,” he paused and briefly closed his eyes to take in a deep breath, “but one day I went home and they told me about an idea they had that was so great.

Super humans, they said. Humans with enhanced senses that would make them superior to regular humans and form the perfect army. I told them it was a shitty idea and that this was stuff they shouldn’t mess with, but they got upset and kicked me out.” He laughed bitterly. “This wasn’t the first time my parents and I ever disagreed on anything, and I thought they were smart enough to not go through with it so I just left. But I guess I was wrong because one day something at the lab went wrong.”

Jungkook hesitated for a second upon seeing the disturbed expression on your face — you knew exactly where this was heading.

He willed himself to continue. “A few months later I got a call from the hospital. They told me that my parents were severely injured while at work, and when I went to see them, they told me the truth of what happened: how they went through with the project but realized too late that it was a mistake, how they were trapped by the government, and how they created monsters.

My parents died from their injuries two days later, and a week after that there was a covered-up breakout at the lab they worked in. Only one day after the breakout, there was the first outbreak in the city only a few miles away. And now we’re here, trying to find a cure for the mess my parents started.”

“I’m sorry,” you immediately said, a mournful expression on your face. You couldn’t imagine the guilt and sorrow that Jungkook must feel.

He scoffed. “Sorry? Why are you apologizing? This entire thing is my fault,” he muttered.

Your face fell and you moved to grasp his hands. “Jungkook, I don’t see how any of this is your fault,” you spoke honestly, your voice soft.

His eyes widened and he pulled his hands away from you. “Y/N, my parents are the reason this apocalypse happened! And - and they told me about their idea and I didn’t do anything to stop it!”

“You did what you could,” you stressed. “You told them it was a bad idea and they made their own adult decision to go through with it.” You took a step closer to him and looked at him in the eyes. “You can’t blame yourself for your parents’ actions.”

He shook his head and looked away. “I should’ve fought harder,” he countered stubbornly. “I’m a terrible person.”

“Jeon Jungkook, look at me.” You used your finger to turn his head so his gaze was directed towards you again. “You are not a terrible person. If you were, you wouldn’t have saved me that day at the grocery store or risked your life to get me pads or spending your days working to find a cure that isn’t even your responsibility.” You took another step towards him and slowly wrapped your arms around him. “You’re a good person, Jungkook. I’m saying this from the bottom of my heart,” you murmured with your head against his chest.

He was silent for a few moments until his body relaxed into your hold. “Thank you,” he mumbled as he gripped your waist and upper back and rested his head atop of yours. “Do you still feel… the same for me?” he questioned cautiously.

“No,” you answered quickly, causing him to quickly pull away from you in offense. You giggled at his reaction before continuing, “I like you even more now. You were honest with me and now I feel closer to you.”

His face relaxed as he let out a relieved sigh before bringing you back into his arms again. And for a few moments, the two of you simply basked in each others’ embrace.

Jungkook was the first to break the silence. “We’re not very close to finding the solution, you know,” he mentioned with a disappointed tone.

You shrugged. “It’s ok. This isn’t something you can really rush, but I’ll be here with you every step of the way.”

He pulled his head back to look down at you, a gentle expression painted on his face. “Promise?”

You smiled at him. “I promise,” you whispered before you moved to close the distance between your lips and kiss him once again.

The future was unsure for you and Jungkook and tomorrow or the next week wasn’t guaranteed. But you were sure that if there was anyone you wanted to survive and overcome a zombie apocalypse with, it was Jungkook (and his unconventional group of friends that he calls his family).

a/n: ngl i would feel so safe in a zombie apocalypse w bts akjnkas. also might write a drabble about hobi in this plot hehe. i hope you enjoyed and pls leave comments as they’re rlly encouraging and will help me improve in the future :’))

#bts #bts fanfic #bts jungguk #bts jungkook #jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook #jungkook fanfic #bts fluff #bts angst #bts smut #park jimin #kim taehyung #kim namjoon #kim seokjin #hobi #min yoongi #Jung HoSeok #bts zombie au #bts fanfiction

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whereisten · 4 years ago

Text

ghouls just wanna have fun (A Creature Feature Story)

A Taeil fic that’s part of our Halloween Series!

Summary: After your date ends up being a dud, you stumbled upon an unusual movie theater and its most appealing visitor, Moon Taeil.

Pairing: Ghost! Taeil x female reader

Genre: romance, angst, pinch of smut, drama, fantasy, horror

Word Count: 7k

Warnings: gore mention, death mention, smut: masturbation mention

(A/N: Hi! Special shoutout to the Creature Feature readers. I love you...It’s almost one year to the day that I posted Part 1 (I know: where the hell is the rest of it?). Rest assured, the series will continue in November. This Halloween series has gotten me out of my funk. I hope you enjoy this story. And to newcomers, welcome! This story can be read alone, if you'd like, but I think you’d enjoy this more if you read my Creature Feature updates! Anyways: SHOUTOUT TO MY BEST FRIEND AND PARTNER IN CRIME/WRITING KRYS. SHE CREATED ANOTHER SPECTACULAR MOODBOARD FOR ME. SHE’S MADE SEVERAL FOR ME. AND I AM SO SPOILED. HER BRILLIANT BRAIN AND VISION DESERVE ALL OF THE LOVE. SEND IT HER WAY. We hope you enjoy this installment and our upcoming posts! Thank you for all of the love in our stories so far!

___

“Jaebum, I’m not going. Let me off here,” you demanded.

Well, tonight was just fantastic. Fan-freaking-tastic.

Your date that your friends set you up with ended up being a bust. He wanted to take you to a house party so he can get high and you could be his side piece for the night. Your friends were all in committed relationships and they thought you were bummed because you felt single and bitter.

No, you were just bummed at the fact that your friends had blown you off too many times for their significant others. That was the actual problem.

But they were doing better with you, you had to admit. They spent more time with you as their honeymoon stages with their significant others had finally dwindled. The set-up was supposed to be for fun.

They even thought that this date could open doors for you.

Doors to what? Well, it ended up being to the stench of weed in the back of Jaebum’s old Sonata.

Jaebum’s car, which included his two stoner friends Jinyoung and Yugyeom, came to a halt at a red light near a plaza.

“You want to leave, y/n? Then here’s your stop,” Jaebum said.

You raised your eyebrows. “You’re kidding me, right?”

Jaebum shrugged. “Take it or leave it. I got places to go.” His friends muttered over how uncool you were. The least this jerk could’ve done was take you back home.

You rolled your eyes. “Fine. Go to hell.”

The car sped off as you stood near the plaza entrance. It was getting colder as midnight approached. So you decided to wait outside of an abandoned Spirit Halloween store so your Uber could pick you up from there. You walked towards the plaza and suddenly…

Bright lights appeared before you that you quickly shut your eyes. You blinked them open, wondering what just transpired when you realized...

There was an active movie theater there, with a giant sign surrounded by bright light bulbs. It read “Sinema”.

What the hell, you thought.

You walked closer and closer and saw people coming in and out of the theater. And then...oh, wow, you really had lost your mind. Little human-like creatures of different colors were flying around the entrance...They were fairies! Their pixie fairy dust landed on your shoulders. You picked off the dust that had fallen on the shoulder of your dress. The texture reminded you of Cheeto dust. It was hard to get off. You were certain your black dress was permanently stained.

Then, a man walked past you and transformed into a large purple dragon before your very eyes. He blew out fire within a few feet from you, you yelped. He set off for the sky and vanished. After, another group of men walked past you, flashing their vampire teeth as they laughed about something. They were all stunning but the one with wavy electric blue hair was the real showstopper. You couldn’t think that too long as people that looked bright and transparent walked towards you.

You thought they were going to bump into you so you said. “Hello? Watch where you’re going!”

But they walked right through you and kept going. Seemed like they got that kind of comment a lot.

You blinked a few times. Did that just happen? Were those...ghosts?

A young woman in her red and navy blue uniform appeared before you. She smiled. “Welcome to Sinema, the premier theater for the supernatural! My name is Haseul. You look like you have a lot of questions. Is this your first time here?”

“I...I…” You started. “Is this really happening?”

She laughed. “Yes...All supernatural creatures and their approved companions are welcome here!”

You frowned. “There must be some mistake. I’m not a supernatural creature.”

Haseul pulled out her phone. “Your name?”

“Uh...y/n y/l/n…” You said. “Wait, why did I say that?” You answered her without even thinking. It was like she compelled you to do what she asked.

She winked. “It’s a special little skill of mine. It’s a part of the job.” She scrolled through an app on her phone. “Well, you’re not a part of the approved human companions list so...You have to be supernatural!”

You gaped. “That’s funny…This is a joke, right? Some kind of Halloween event? Well, you’re a few months too late…”

Haseul shook her head. “Oh, no, this is no reenactment. This is the real deal. Allow me to escort you inside.”

You weren’t sure if that was a good idea but you were curious. You followed her inside.

The movie theater was elegant and modern. The latest video games were available at the arcade. The concession stand was huge. It had to be with the number of creatures that were lined up for snacks. The theater was three stories high. Posters for the latest movies were up. The music that played overhead consisted of songs from the 70s, 80s, and more. Rick Astley’s “Never Gonna Give You Up” was playing. Sinema seemed like any regular theater.

Well, except for the supernatural creatures, of course.

“What is this place?” You asked Haseul. “This can’t be real...I’ve been drugged. Jaebum got something in my system and I’m hallucinating. That has to be it.”

Haseul gave you a confused look. “This place is very real, y/n. I know it might be a hard pill to swallow but you belong here. To the supernatural world. A part of you is connected to this world. I’m not sure why it took you so long to discover that but...you’re here now.”

Haseul’s phone rang and she answered. “Yeah, boss?...Okay, I’ll stop calling you that...Oh? I see. Well, have fun with your boyfriend…” She teased. She hung up and she continued, “Well, y/n, I must be going but if you need anything, you can reach out to anyone who is wearing this uniform.” She showed off her uniform. She looked like a very casual flight attendant. The navy blue skirt was very flattering on her. Her white blouse had a red tie over it. Her name tag had her name written in her own elegant cursive.

“W-wait…” You started.

Haseul gave you a reassuring smile. “You can stay or leave, y/n. No one is keeping you here. But know that you’re always welcome here at Sinema. We hope to see you again.” She walked off to resume working, you thought.

You stood there, confused over what to do. Going to the movies hadn’t been in the cards for you tonight. Much less finding out that the supernatural existed in the same world you did.

Unless this was a parallel world, which just made your head spin even more.

Deciding to stay, you went back out to the main entrance to buy tickets. You heard growls among the chatter of people that stood in line before you. All kinds of creatures stood in front of you: werewolves, selkies, fairies, kitsunes, and more. You felt like the only outsider. For everyone else seemed to know their place…

According to Haseul, the only reason you could access this place was because you were a supernatural creature. And that...that just couldn’t be true. Sure you were adopted but you never displayed any kind of power or ability that would indicate you were a creature.

It was impossible, you thought. A striking young man with long silver hair stood behind you and you could feel his eyes on the back of your head. He was tall and muscular. You wondered what kind of creature he was or if he was actually a companion like Haseul described. You turned to him and his stare never wavered. “Can I help you?” You asked.

He blinked a few times to snap out of it. “I’m sorry...I zoned out…” He tipped an imaginary hat. “It’s your turn.”

“Miss?” The employee at the ticket stand asked. Like the young man behind you, she seemed human. However, the red tint in her eyes told you otherwise. You wondered what she could be.

“Oh, uh... A ticket to ‘Spider-Man: The New Kid’, please,” you said.

“That’ll be 12.50,” the employee replied.

Even if this was a movie theater for the supernatural, they certainly charged like a regular theater did. You paid the employee and got your ticket. The ticket stub was actually very beautiful. It was holographic so you could collect these stubs like trading cards, if you wanted.

You hung around too long so the silver-haired boy approached you.

He smiled at you. “Hello.”

You smiled, a little uneasy. “Hi…”

“First time at Sinema?” He asked. The man was stunning with his high cheekbones and dangerous dark eyes. A devil-may-care smile that must have won over a few women.

You nodded. “Is it that obvious?”

“The look of horror on your face hasn’t faded,” he said, chuckling.

You sighed. “Yeah...Well, I’m still pretty stunned.”

He said, “Well, you’ll get used to it eventually. Something about you makes you belong to this world, right? Do you know what it is?” His eyes widened.

It was almost as if he knew the answer. But if you didn’t know, how could he?

You sighed. “I couldn’t tell you. Maybe I’m just a fluke.”

“Oh, I have to disagree…” He started.

A ghost materialized right beside you. He stood closer to you and stared down the silver-haired man. Even if he was a ghost, he was the most alluring man you’d ever seen. Although translucent, his features were striking and not to be ignored. His undercut that accentuated his face so well was bright red, like rubies. His ears were decorated with crescent moon studs. He wore a navy button down and black slacks, like he was dressed for a hot date. His tan skin cast an ethereal glow. “Yuta, give the girl some air. She just discovered she’s not human.”

The silver-haired man named Yuta sighed. “Do you ever stay out of people’s business?”

The ghost rolled his eyes. “Do you?”

You averted your eyes from them and looked at the concessions menu. Hmmm, the Sour Patch Bats looked promising, you thought. You started, “I’m gonna go.”

Yuta was about to call your name again but the ghost boy raised his hand to stop him. “You’re already messing around here too much. Leave her alone.”

Yuta rolled his eyes. “I don’t have to listen to you. I’m the alpha.”

The ghost boy made faces as he imitated Yuta’s voice. “I’m the alpha. I eat the hearts of my enemies for breakfast. I’m Yuta.”

Yuta growled and it was so animalistic that you wondered if he was going to transform into the creature he most likely was. Your money was on him being a werewolf.

Yuta stormed off and returned to his posse of gorgeous and muscular people. They all watched you and you wondered what was so fascinating about you.

The ghost boy followed you as you got in line for concessions. “What’s your name?”

“Y/n...Yours?” You looked into his soulful eyes.

He smiled. “I’m Taeil. The eyes and ears of Sinema. And you’re new.”

“Yup...And I have no idea who I am or what the world is anymore…Well, it’s time for a snack.”

Taeil chuckled. “The Sour Patch bats are really popular but they sell out fast.”

An employee at the concession stand announced over the intercom. “Sorry, folks. The Sour Patch Bats are sold out.”

Everyone groaned and moaned and growled and wailed. Even you couldn’t help the tiny huff of disappointment that escaped your lips.

Taeil sighed. “Well, lucky for you y/n. I’m friends with the manager of this joint.”

You raised your eyebrows. “Oh, are you?”

He smirked. “I know where she keeps her secret stash of Sour Patch Bats. Now she normally hides those away for her boyfriend but I’m sure she won’t miss one bag…”

Taeil led you upstairs to the manager’s office.

You frowned. “Are you sure we can be here?”

Taeil winked. “Nope. But she owes me.”

Taeil moved himself through the front door and unlocked the door from the inside. You entered the office and found a bouquet of flowers on the manager’s desk.

“How did you touch…”

He cleared his throat like he’d debated what he was going to say. “With most of my strength, y/n...Anything to impress the prettiest girl to set foot in Sinema.”

Although your concept of ghosts was completely debunked (ghosts could indeed touch inanimate objects), your face warmed up at that comment. You tried changing the subject. “Taeil, maybe this is a bad idea…”

He shook his head as he stuck his hand through the manager’s desk drawer and rummaged around before he grabbed a bag of the popular candy. He threw it over to you. You caught it.

You opened the bag and ate the bat-shaped sour gummies of lime, orange, lemon, and cherry. They were the best candy you’d ever tasted and until tonight, you’d been deprived of their existence.

Your eyes grew. “These are...Oh my God.”

Taeil smiled knowingly. “I knew you’d like them. See, the supernatural world isn’t so bad, is it?”

You were touched. He was being so kind and attentive. So quickly, too. “No, I guess not…”

His beautiful lips curved upwards as he watched you enjoy the candy.

“What movie are you going to see?” He asked.

“Well, Taeil, I thought you were the eyes and ears of this place. You should know,” you teased.

He laughed. “Well, I don’t. Is it an oldie? Sinema plays throwback movies every week to appease the masses.”

You shook your head. “I’m watching the new Spider-Man. The new actor they picked is supposed to be above all of his predecessors so I’m excited.”

Taeil asked. “Can I join you?”

You pretended to deliberate. “Well, you have supplied me with sustenance so how could I say no?”

Taeil usually kept to himself, occasionally confiding in his best friend. He really was the eyes and ears of the theater. He knew of all the romantic entanglements that transpired. The current feuds between species. And more.

Typically, he was stuck facing his demons and never quite got past the last thing he needed to overcome in order to ascend to heaven.

He’d sought justice so what was holding him back?

And at the sight of you, he felt an ease in his heart that he hadn’t felt since he was alive.

___

Your first night at Sinema was the first of many where you and Taeil bonded and enjoyed each other’s company. You went to the theater every weekend and met up with him. You’d see a movie together and talk about it for hours on end. He’d even sometimes accompany you back to your dorm. And even if you could see him...no one else in the human realm could. So you would have to pretend you were on the phone when you talked to Taeil. Even as he sat closely beside you. Longing to hold your hand.

You wondered just how many creatures hid from you in plain sight. Some of them could masquerade as humans and you’d never know it. That terrified and excited you.

You loved Taeil’s sense of humor, how he showered you with free movie tickets and concessions (courtesy of his best friend’s connections), his wit, his smile, the goofy, fascinated look he gave you when you spoke.

You always wanted to push back his hair and slap his arm when he teased you. And you wondered what those soft red lips would feel like on yours.

But you couldn’t.

The most wonderful person you’d ever met.

And he was an apparition.

As for Taeil, well, he loved everything about you. Your mind. Your curiosity of the world. Your inability to shut away the unknown completely. The way you adapted to Sinema so quickly. The way you looked at him.

He was convinced that you also wanted to kiss him.

It killed you both, honestly.

You told him you were in your senior year of college. You were getting a degree as a nutritionist but you felt unsure about what you would pursue after college. You felt like nothing got your heart racing. You were just going through the motions, making your parents proud. They’d given so much to you so you didn’t want to disappoint them. So you figured getting a steady paying job was a step in the right direction and maybe one day you’d figure out your passion...and how to capitalize off of it.

Taeil could tell you were frustrated and lost and he wished you didn’t feel so down. He saw the light in your eyes. You had a whole future ahead of you. You would find your dream job someday, meet a man, settle down, have his children, and grow old together.

And him? Well, maybe at that point, he would finally have moved on.

Before meeting you, he was fixated on getting even with the man who murdered him and the woman who betrayed him and got the ball rolling.

He told you all about it...Originally, he didn’t want to because the details were too gruesome. But you’d been honest with him so it was the least he could do for you. He told you about his life in the west coast town of Luna, where he aspired to be a producer and songwriter. And he told you about how his life came to an abrupt end.

Taeil’s killer had been none other than Jung Jaehyun, the man whom his girlfriend had cheated on him with. Jaehyun was a member of one of Luna’s most notorious gangs and he detested Taeil. Taeil’s girlfriend, Lexa, didn’t know how to break up with Taeil so she could be with Jaehyun. She was frustrated because Taeil was so sweet and giving. He was so good to her that Lexa chickened out and never broke up with him. She was getting frustrated and Jaehyun was getting even angrier.

One of the nights that Lexa spent with Jaehyun, she let it slip that she wished there was a way she could get rid of Taeil. And Jaehyun was more than happy to oblige.

Jaehyun and his men cornered Taeil one night. He thought he was meeting Lexa for their 300 day anniversary. He got a text from her phone saying to meet her on the rooftop of the Nectarine Hotel because she had a surprise for him.

However, she was nowhere to be seen. Jaehyun took Taeil by surprise and pushed him off of the twenty story luxury hotel.

Jaehyun’s men lingered downstairs and made sure there were no witnesses on the scene. All evidence of Taeil’s death had been covered up. Taeil’s family and friends reported Taeil as a missing person. Lexa had also disappeared off of the face of the Earth. And many wondered if she and Taeil had disappeared to start anew.

That couldn’t have been further from the truth. Jaehyun, Lexa, and his men disposed of Taeil’s body off underneath an overpass. They’d buried his body and washed their cleans of him.

Taeil always thought about whether or not an afterlife existed. When he hit the ground from his fall, everything went black. The roaring pain all over his body that hit him for one moment...Quickly vanished at the next.

Taeil opened his eyes again and instead of seeing Downtown Luna...Only white surrounded him. Surrounded by golden specks.

An angel appeared before him with stunning peach-colored wings. The angel shined so brightly that Taeil couldn’t make out their face. They spoke softly… “Moon Taeil...Born June 14, 1994...Died October 22, 2018.”

Taeil sobbed then. “Please, is there any way you can save me?”

The angel sighed. “My poor child...You’ve been wronged. I want to give you the opportunity to seek justice...And once you have seeked justice and found peace, you can ascend into Heaven and join us. Our Heavenly Father awaits you.”

Before Taeil could respond, he became a ghost. He manifested into another town he couldn’t recognize. It was the city of Mystic. Jaehyun lived a life of luxury and terrorized the new city with his gang. And who reigned right beside him in a God-awful bubblegum pink wig?

The woman he’d loved and planned to propose to: Lexa.

Lexa played around with the buttons on Jaehyun’s designed shirt as she quietly thanked him for killing Taeil. And Jaehyun murmured back a thank you for giving him the idea and for suggesting a good hiding place for his remains.

Taeil felt sick to his stomach. The love he felt for Lexa had quickly shifted into hatred. And Taeil wanted revenge. He wanted to take them both down. But how, he wondered.

It took him a few more months to figure out how exactly he could enact revenge on them. Haunting them for a few weeks was a thrill but he wanted Jaehyun behind bars. And Lexa? Well, Taeil just wanted her to drown in guilt.

And then, Taeil found Sinema, a supernatural hub in the seemingly typical town of Mystic. Taeil struck a deal with the vampires to help them dig up his body. They in turn compelled the police to find his remains and track down Jaehyun.

Taeil owed the vampires a few months of haunting humans who had deceived them when they were once humans. So both parties were happy.

Taeil decided to spare Lexa from prison. Instead, her family, her friends, and everyone from Luna shunned her for having a hand in Taeil’s murder. Although she was never charged, she was as good as guilty as Jaehyun and his men.

Lexa remained in Mystic in a run-down apartment, barely making ends meet. The luxuries she was able to afford before, because of Taeil and then because of Jaehyun, were no longer accessible to her so she lived a life full of resentment.

But Taeil visited her many nights to remind her that more than anything, she should’ve felt guilt and remorse for what she’d done to him.

How she convinced him that he’d found happiness in her. How she made him out to be a fool. And how she discarded him like a piece of trash.

Lexa’s mind slowly unraveled over time and the guilt slowly consumed her each time.

Taeil ate it all up. This felt like justice and he didn’t want to ascend just yet. He wanted Lexa to get on her knees and pray to God for forgiveness for what she’d done to Taeil.

But that day hadn’t come. So Taeil frequented her apartment at night...Having Lexa think she dreamed of him as she slept.

One late Saturday night...going into Sunday morning, Taeil waited with you at the bench for your Uber to arrive to take you back to your dorm. Sometimes he accompanied you to the dorm and talked to you. You’d have to pretend you were on the phone so your Uber driver didn’t think you were talking to an imaginary friend.

Tonight, though, he wouldn’t be taking you home.

You asked, “Are you going to see her now?”

Taeil froze. “What?”

You wondered aloud, “Lexa...Do you haunt her on the weekends too?”

“Not recently, actually...I’ve been seeing her less.”

You smiled. “Taeil, that’s great. It means you’re getting over her.”

Taeil glared. “I don’t need to get over her. I despise her.”

Your smile vanished. “I know that. It’s just-”

He shot back, “Just what?”

You looked down at your hands and played with your fingers. “It’s just...You’ve sought justice...Jaehyun is rotting in a jail cell...Lexa is guilty over what she’s done...And...I hate to say this...But I think if you stop going to see her...There’s a chance you can finally ascend.”

He looked taken aback at your words. “I can ascend whenever I want.”

You lifted an eyebrow. “Really?”

Taeil looked even more annoyed as he sneered. “Absolutely. Excuse me for wanting to spend a little more time with you before I leave forever.”

His words infuriated you. “Taeil, you...I’m not the reason you want to stay...You’re hung up on your ex. Even if it’s not in the romantic sense...You’re fixated on terrorizing her until what? She begs for forgiveness?”

“And what the hell is wrong with that?”

“Taeil, you’re meant to find peace. You have to let her go.”

“Well, y/n, thank you for your opinion. I never asked for it but it’s certainly never stopped you...Have a safe trip back to your dorm.”

“Fine! Manifest yourself back to me when you get a grip.” You crossed your arms around your chest in anger. He was unbelievable. You were right. He just wouldn’t let go. He wouldn’t give up on seeing that...that wretched bitch.

Why did you let this piss you off so much and why were you overstepping...You had no right…

Perhaps it was because you’d fallen for Taeil and seeing him jeopardize his fate over this woman infuriated you like nothing else had.

The full moon was out that night and you couldn’t help but yell in fury at the sky.

Someone crept up behind you and with his claws, he scratched deeply into your collarbone. “Hey, what the fuck?!”

You turned around to find a werewolf before you. It was a literal wolf on two legs. His muscles protruded like that of a man’s but they were so large...You knew he could easily snap your neck with a quick movement of his hands. His tawny coat shined in the moonlight. His brown eyes watched you, expectantly.

You were about to get on your knees and beg for mercy.

You saw a group of people lingering beside the werewolf. You remembered them. They were a part of Yuta’s pack.

“Yuta?” You finally connected the dots and realized the wolf who scratched you was Yuta. You hadn’t seen him since that first time.

He had been a werewolf, after all. But why had he transformed? Why was he here? Why had he done this to you?

You winced slightly at the scrapes and monitored them as they quickly vanished. You couldn’t believe your eyes.

Yuta’s fur vanished as he transformed back into his human self. He was shirtless but his pair of jeans remained on. “Y/n, I wanted to confirm something…”

You frowned. “What?”

“The scratch of the alpha is borderline lethal to any outsider of the pack...So any pack member or...descendant of that pack member can heal from his bite…”

You laughed nervously, confused. You wanted to get the hell out of here. Where the bloody hell was your Uber? “Uh...That’s interesting, I guess.”

“Can’t you see, y/n? I’m the alpha of the Nakamoto clan. You’ve healed from my scratches...Which means…”

You demanded, “What does it mean?”

“It means you are a descendant of this clan, y/n…”

You shook your head. “No...That’s...Impossible. I’m not a werewolf…”

“You were adopted at five months, y/n...Your parents perished in a war against the vampires...Your parents led normal lives as humans for as long as they could...Much to the disappointment of my father.”

“Yuta, you don’t know what you’re saying…”

“I do, y/n. The pack and I have uncovered everything about you and your family history. You’re a werewolf. An unawakened one.”

“No…”

“Explain how your bite healed. The only way you could enter Sinema of your own accord is if you possessed supernatural blood. And werewolf blood is as supernatural as it gets.”

“Yuta, please, you’ve got the wrong person...I don’t know why you bit me and why it healed. Maybe it’s some magic trick you pulled off to please your pack...I’ve had a shitty night so if you don’t mind, I’d like to go home,” you said, checking your phone for the arrival of your Uber. It was arriving.

“Y/n!”

The Uber pulled up and you turned to him. “Just leave me alone.”

___

You visited your parents the next day. You asked them about where they’d adopted you from. They’d always been very mum about the details.

“Someone told me something crazy the other day,” you said to them as the three of you shared dinner with your adopted younger siblings.

Your parents both looked at each other, concerned.

“He said my biological parents were werewolves!” You laughed in disbelief. “How crazy is that?”

Your parents eyed each other again.

Your mom started, “Who is this man?”

“Mom, I believe the proper response is ‘That man is crazy. Where did he get that kind of story?’”

You knew your parents were hiding something and you wanted to hear the truth from them.

Your father scratched his neck as he took off his glasses. Your younger siblings all eyed each other uncomfortably.

“Why aren’t you guys saying anything?” You asked.

Your dad said, “Y/n...We hoped for you to never find out.”

You shook your head in disbelief. “Dad, you’re scaring me...Find out what?”

Your parents went on to tell you about the incidents you had when you turned eleven. After you’d had your first period, you began to experience terrible mood swings and throw tantrums left and right around the time the full moon occurred. And when you turned thirteen and the first full moon following your birthday occurred…

You’d attacked a neighbor who was walking their dog.

You’d grown teeth and hair all over your body that night. You’d become a wolf, according to your parents.

Once the night had ended, you’d transformed into a human again and fallen asleep.

Your neighbors never knew that it had been you. Your parents helped your attacked neighbor get to a hospital and they reported an animal attack in the neighborhood. Your neighbor couldn’t remember anything.

But her dog never forgot and hated you.

Your parents got a hold of the adoption agency and they had no information on your birth parents besides their names. Your parents then got in touch with a psychic, who referred them to a witch. They took you to the witch and she told them you were an unawakened werewolf. You were a fledgling. Unless you received the bite of an alpha werewolf and acquired your position in the pack, you were susceptible to these monthly full moon transformations and since you hadn’t been awakened, it would be even worse and dangerous for those around you. So the witch concocted a potion that would suppress your fledgling urges but it was critical that you consumed it each month.

Which explained why your parents were always so adamant for you to come home every month for dinner. They put the potion in your dinner. So you were able to suppress your urges up until this point.

Could this be the reason why you felt so unfulfilled? Because you never explored your true nature? Your parents never gave you the choice to control it.

Your parents had good intentions but you had the option to meet the pack all of these years...And you never knew.

You’d always felt like a part of you had been missing and your trip to Sinema had done the trick to lead you to the truth.

___

Back in your dorm and without having ingested the potion your parents had given, you’d only had a few days until the full moon. You were resolved to speak to Yuta.

You’d gotten out of the shower, letting out a shaky breath from all of the bundled up nerves you carried. You were shocked to find Taeil standing in your common room that you shared with your roommates. They were all away for the day.

“Taeil!” You started as you covered your towel more tightly around you.

“I heard,” Taeil started, worry etched all over his face, “If I could kill Yuta, I would…”

“Taeil, I’m going to him,” you started.

“What?” He asked.

“I’m going to be awakened by him.”

He looked at you in disbelief. “Y/n, what are you-”

“I’m an unawakened werewolf, Taeil. My biological parents were werewolves and if I don’t receive the official bite of the alpha, I’m going to suffer by the influence of the full moon.”

“Y/n, the full moon is in two weeks!”

“I know…” You said.

Taeil sighed. “Y/n, you have a chance to be away from the supernatural world. To avoid the dangers of these creatures. I know humans are terrible, deceitful, and cruel...But the supernatural doesn’t fare better. You didn’t grow up in this world. It could consume you and spit you right back out…”

You were resolved, though. You longed to explore more of the world and to embrace the part of you that had always been neglected. “Taeil, I’ve made my decision. My family has respected it. And I hope you will, too.”

A tear escaped Taeil’s eye. “Y/n, I’m so sorry. If I hadn’t left you alone…”

You shook your head as you wished to embrace him. “Taeil, this isn’t on you. This opened my eyes. My path is more defined now...Who knows what awaits me once I awaken? That’s for me to find out.”

Taeil extended his hand out and pretended to caress your face. “There’s nothing I can say to make you change your mind, is there?”

“No,” you said, as you leaned closer to his transparent hand.

He smiled weakly. “Y/n, I’ve thought a lot about it and you were right...I’ve given up on visiting Lexa.”

You opened your mouth wide. “Really?”

Taeil avoided your stare as he stared at the potted plant by the window. “I...wanted to stay longer but...we’re both meant to part ways...And I’m not happy...Terrorizing Lexa hasn’t given me any sense of fulfillment. Temporary pleasure? Yes...But I long to find that peace.”

You cried. “Taeil, I’m so happy to hear that. And you will find that peace, I promise you.”

“In the meantime, I’ll be by your side as you head into your next chapter.”

You smiled at him and didn’t realize your towel slipped to the floor.

“Y/n…” Taeil coughed as he quickly turned red and turned around.

“What?” You frowned.

Without looking at you, he pointed to the towel on the floor.

“Shit!” You exclaimed. But then, you watched Taeil...He was blushing…

“Did it hurt that much to look at my body, Taeil?” You asked, quietly.

“What?” He asked, confused.

“It’s okay...You can look…”

Taeil turned and was shocked to see you still unclothed.

You gave him a flirty smile. “I know we can’t touch...But it doesn’t mean we can’t have fun, right?”

You got onto your bed and slowly began to tease your clit and Taeil’s jaw nearly fell to the floor. He adored every inch of you as he scanned your body and worked his hardest to commit it all to memory.

You could see his member grow in his pants. He immediately gripped his gorgeous length and pleasured himself alongside you.

“I wish I could feel your heavenly cock on my clit…” You told him.

He grunted. “Heaven can wait...This is real paradise...Here with you.”

You muttered sweet nothings to each other and imagined that you made love to each other that day.

___

You and Taeil were more inseparable than before. Because you knew your days together were numbered.

The full moon arrived and Yuta had agreed that this was the ideal time for your initiation into his pack. You would be able to absorb the moon’s power as you transformed from Yuta’s bite.

Yuta invited you to his mansion in the woods not too far outside of town. His pack members were present and they’d arranged a massive bonfire at the center in honor of your awakening.

Taeil was right beside you, much to the chagrin of the rest of the pack members. But what could they do? Drag him out? When they couldn’t even lay a finger on him?

Yuta was dressed in his best tuxedo as he recited the pack’s code of conduct to you and welcomed you into their pack. He transformed into his wolf form and at the brightest the full moon had been, you’d taken on your fledgling form. You howled at the moon and became rabid. Yuta knew what he had to do.

Taeil watched you in concern but Yuta had sworn to protect you. For you would be one of his family soon enough. So Taeil had no choice but to trust him.

Yuta bit into your collarbone and your eyes shifted from their usual color and into a bright amber. You felt yourself regain consciousness and became aware of where you were.

“Y/n, do you know who I am?” Yuta asked.

You nodded.

Yuta continued, “Good. You are now a fully awakened werewolf. Harness your abilities with honor and know that you have a family in the Nakamoto clan forever.”

“Hear hear!” The pack members yelled out.

You’d reverted back into your human form through your own accord. You were shocked at how quickly you could turn back.

You ran over to Taeil and he beamed at you. “How do you feel?”

“I feel...whole...Fulfilled...I have no idea what will happen next but it’s a new kind of uncertainty...And I like it.”

Taeil said, “I’m glad, y/n…”

He started to pixelate before you and his voice began to fade.

Your smile faded. “Taeil?”

“I think God wanted me to stick around for this momentous occasion...Before he summoned me…”

You couldn’t help the tears that escaped you. “Taeil, I love you.”

He cried with you. “I love you, too. I will see you up there...Soon. I’d better be the first person you look up when you ascend, you hear me?”

You wrapped your arms around him and to your shock. To everyone’s shock at the party...You could feel Taeil. He was muscular and the warmth of his body was like the fuzziest blanket wrapped around you after the worst day. He felt wonderful. And you never wanted to let him go.

Taeil longed for the day he could feel your body around his...And it was only at this time when you two had to bid farewell when he could feel you against him. You were strong but at that moment, he held you tenderly. Like you would break at any second. Because this moment was the most fragile. It was fleeting. So you both soaked in the feeling of each other’s bodies as you held each other.

Taeil kissed you and you reciprocated. His lips felt just like you’d imagined them. Soft. Perfect against yours. His kiss was the euphoria you would treasure for the rest of your life.

You released each other.

“Goodbye, Moon,” you teased. You made a play at his last name. Since you were a werewolf now, you’d be highly influenced by the activity of the moon.

He joked back. “Goodbye, Wolfie. Don’t forget to howl at me once in a while. It’s kinda hot...” The cliche of werewolves howling at the moon was actually a common practice for them.

You shook your head and laughed as he faded away. You cried hard that night, missing him already.

Yuta and his pack comforted you as you cried. They celebrated you and they mourned with you. This pack had become your family.

___

Taeil finally ascended to Heaven. It was a lot like Earth but idealistic. Paradise had everything at his disposal. He could go to the movies and have an unlimited supply of Sour Patch Bats. He finally knew what they tasted like. He could get a foot massage whenever he felt like it. He could play his music and sing to his heart’s content. God was a big fan of Moon Taeil.

But the thing he loved most was being able to look after the loved ones he left behind.

Now that Taeil had become an angel, he would accumulate power overtime in order to send blessings to the people he loved most.

Especially to you.

____

You’d gotten a better grip on your powers but you were still a long way from being Yuta’s right hand. You’d moved into one of Yuta’s apartment complexes that he owned. You were finishing up your last year of school, as well. Since you’d stabilized your powers, you could carry on with your day-to-day activities. It’s just nighttime that would be unaccounted for.

One day, Yuta visited you.

You greeted him as you welcomed him inside your spacious apartment. He sat down on your L-shaped couch in your living room as you gave him a glass of water. “To what do I owe the pleasure, boss?”

Yuta never visited his pack member’s homes unless it was important business. Usually, he summoned them to a common area, like one of his mansions in the city.

Yuta smiled. “I see you like your new place.”

You nodded. “It beats hearing my roommates screw their boyfriends every other night, I must admit.”

He laughed. “Well, I’m glad to hear that.”

“What’s up? You’re not usually one for small talk...Unless you want to sleep with them...And that girl isn’t here at the moment.” You knew about Yuta’s tumultuous relationship with Sinema’s manager.

Yuta blushed then. “You...Knock it off.”

You laughed heartily, then. You two had developed an older brother little sister relationship. Yuta was able to uncover more information about your parents and your extended family. He’d been extremely helpful during this time, providing financial support not only to you but your entire family.

When Yuta said the pack was a family, he really meant it.

Yuta was mulling over his next words and he gave you a solemn look. The light, breezy mood had quickly vanished.

The power the alpha held to control the room.

He said, “Y/n, prepare your things. The war is about to begin.”

[Fin...Or is it?]

Stay tuned for the next spooky story...

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thed4rkhand · 3 years ago

Text

The making of Butter by BTS

This is a tarot card reading regarding the energies of the band during the making and production of Butter and other miscellaneous processes. I have used the Housewives’ Tarot deck for this reading.

Be warned that this reading is just for fun and lets not take everything to heart!

The spread I created for this reading had 6 broad topics, among which the spirits picked their cards and guided me through the readings. The topics I picked were -

Why butter?

Who all contributed?

Is there a deeper meaning or motive?

The creative process

Any miscellaneous cards

Without further delay, lets look into the cards-

Pile 1 (why butter?)

The spirits gave one card here, which is the Hanged Man in upright position.

This card tells us that this song was written to break the monotony that most of us faced stuck in lockdown, as the band has been quoted saying, its a simple ‘summer song’ with a light hearted feel. The members have accepted that they may not be able to perform this song live this year, however they have surrendered to the divine and come up with this song, in hopes of keeping the army’s spirit high and to maintain hopes for a better time. The card also points to plausible recent disappointments and stagnation in career with that (scammys?), and overcoming this by producing music which again gives them a chance at proving people wrong and not silently accepting their fate. They have decided to gift this song to army to show them that the recent past does not bother them and they are here to break new records, so this time around, it truly is impossible to deny them anything.

Pile 2 (who all contributed?)

The spirits here gave 2 cards,9 of Wands in reverse and the Ace of Swords in the upright position.

The very basic meaning here is of setting boundaries as well as taking a firm decision. Keeping this in mind, the former card also stands for defensiveness and paranoia of being targeted again and again. I definitely feel that most of the members would have contributed here, however the members that aren’t yet comfortable with English would’ve actually worked the hardest (think jimin, jin and suga), for they actually wanted to get up and prove the others wrong. This card also talks about hiring outside help such as a therapist in its original interpretation, so we can also take it as an interpretation of the boys hiring outside help or even just consulting their tutors over the lyrics and taking their help.

As for the second card, it only confirms the former. It talks about essentially taking new decisions and polishing our skills, taking a new route we were scared of earlier. It talks about sudden epiphanies and realizations, so it might’ve been one of those sudden inspirations that struck a member, forcing them to run out and then start penning down the lyrics, since the sword here is double edged, there were definitely late nights of fighting over lyrics and who penned the better ones, so its likely all members tried their very very best. However since this card also talks about taking a design, its likely that rather than using an amalgamation of their individual works, one was picked over the others. Since this card also talks about leadership, I feel RM definitely led the pack with most lyrics being composed by him(and his fluency in English ofc), but he also motivated and encouraged other members to go ahead and participate here.

Pile 3 (any deeper meaning or motive?)

The spirits here gave 1 card, 8 of Pentacles in reverse.

This card focuses on personal development and growth, or that of creating a new object. However on the downside, the person here focuses too much on the smaller details to see the bigger picture, or they are simply avoiding addressing a certain issue. Using this in context, i feel that butter may actually not be anything more than a plain summer track, however its paving the way for a more meaningful song to come, imagine Blue and Grey vibes but in English. Given the boys aren’t very fluent in the language, they made a song that could be enjoyed by everyone and holds no deeper meaning. This could also act as a two fold method of garnering views, as often very light hearted songs can be enjoyed by everyone, and in these tough times of pandemic, we needed something like this more than ever. So maybe, this could be the boys’ bid for the Grammys again.

Pile 4 (creative process)

The spirits here gave 1 card, Six of Wands In upright position.

This card here is just after 5 of wands, signifying that the person has now crossed the tough times and is in the safe. It talks about being accomplished and proud of your accomplishments, all while moving towards the finish line still, supported by your loved ones. In this context, we can interpret it as the song being composed during the pandemic, where we were told multiple times how much they missed being able to perform live, on top of that, the BE album didn’t gather that much attention, other than dynamite and life goes on honestly. The cards here point to the the fact that despite the relative disappointments the band faced, the creative process must’ve been fueled by this passion to reignite that fire within people, and win many international fans yet again. They are now slowly brining about ‘BTS’ as the genre and they’re not scared of it anymore, they’re ready to shout it out from the roof that they themselves wont be bound by the limits of any one industry or society. The song was meant for the army to enjoy and help them cross the finish line to (re)establish themselves as the best in the industry.

Pile 5 (miscellaneous)

The spirits here gave 3 cards, Judgement in reverse, The World in reverse and The Strength in reverse.

Firstly I get the impression with the strength in reverse, one or more than one members are currently taking therapy? Don’t be fooled by the peppy dance number, they’ve been on the edge for so long. Its natural with such a high pressure career, but with the world in reverse, this also indicates that butter may have been put off a few times, because of the inability to reach a decision with it, or maybe due to the members’ mental health and also arguments and conflicts regarding this incompetence between some members. Lastly with judgement in reverse, I feel we were close to getting quite a heartfelt song, but the members brushed past this deep song and played it safe with butter, or maybe they were made to by the company or an external force, as this message of introspection is being replaced by a positive lighter message within the original interpretation.

This was my interpretation! Do let me know if you enjoyed it or have any more requests!

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julies-butterflies · 3 years ago

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Honestly, your writing reminds me a lot of the buffyverse. Just the perfect balance of humor and sadness and romance and heart that just feels like a vivid window into the world you've created.

God the Body...the best forty minutes of television I may never watch again. I've rewatched Willow and Tara's kiss (because I'll adore them forever), but just...the weight of it. It took me a full month to work up the nerve to watch the episode, to be ready to cry that much.

What you said about not wanting people to suffer, because of your work...It's never once felt like that for me. And I've cried a LOT while reading your work. I'll try to explain it the best I can

Grief can be so isolating, and disorienting. Your world goes topsey-turvey, supports you took for granted go flying into the abyss and suddenly it's a minefield of those glass shards. And no one's grief is identical. No two circumstances are the same. It's not possible for anyone else to know exactly how you feel, because no two hearts break alike.

Sometimes, it's because people just don't understand. Sometime's it's because they no longer want to. But some days, that feeling of aloneness can be crushing.

Then one night, I stumbled upon Let These Shadows Fall Away Like Dust. That one hit me way harder than I was ever expecting. The question of how to grieve the living, the dilemma on when forgiveness is deserved...Alex's anger, his devestation, the rawness of it all....That's my broken glass. Those are concepts I've been struggling for over a year. I'm still picking up pieces every day.

I sobbed, because it was such a relief. To see the feelings that had been scrambled up in my mind just reflected there, on my screen. The reminder I had desperately needed, that I was not alone. That even though my circumstances were different, I was not the only one trying to unravel those messy emotions.

Then again, I also read your deathfic for fun, so maybe I'm not the best judge of this. I tend to like angst. I tend to get a lot of "WHY WOULD YOU MAKE IT THAT SAD" in group chats :D

Please don't feel any pressure to respond to me quickly or anything. I never mind the wait. I'm so sorry for the rough times. Wishing that you and your family gets whatever you need to help ease your storm. Sending love and support as well.

(sorry for all the metaphors. I'm super sleepy and apparently, I resort to purple prose when tired lol)

I know exactly what you mean about Emily. I understand why people don't like her, but I just love to see her written as such a grey character. It's just so much more powerful when the love is so clearly there.

I mean, that's what a tragedy is, really. Love cut short. Grieving a future that could have been everything, if fate had not been cruel. I don't know if you know musical theater, but I like to think about the Barber and His Wife, from Sweeney Todd: the whole tragedy of that show, is that they were happy all together, and then permanently broken. How their paths keep crossing, but they never connect to heal. Never lost, but never found.

And that's the tragedy of Luke and Emily: too stubborn and too late. You find that grey area, the messiness so well, and just bring it all out so wonderfully. You do the same with Bobby/Trevor, ESPECIALLY in the horror and the wild. God, that absolutely devestated me. I'm not a big fan of horror in general, and I haven't explored the genre that much but...if all horror is like yours then DAMN, I might just have to become a fan.

This got super long (lol) so I'll wrap it up now but! THE SIC FIC QUEENS TOGETHER???? When I tell you I lost it.... all too well Bobby and what you've lost reggie in the same story are killing me. I am hooked and incredibly hyped. Loved both updates so far, and cannot wait to see where the story goes!

Oh yeah and I forget: I have to ask, do you have a fan cast of the one, the only, the incredible Keith Richards? (and that goblin is so cute!!! I really want to pet the blood thirsty monster. So badly)

Love, your totally-not-undead-pen-pal, :D

-Vampire Anon

Know musicals? Vampire Anon my beloved, I am a musical theatre bitch. Take a look at my high school graduation cap! (Anastasia is my favorite musical... something about the themes of home, love, and family, the idea of always finding a place in the world even after enduring incredible hardship, that anything is survivable with faith and love in your heart... I'm also a Romanov history bitch, and Christy Altomare is such an incredible talent and human being.) Literally, talk to me about musicals anytime!

And yeah, I definitely see your metaphor... the tragedy of The Barber and his Wife was how close they came to each other throughout the whole show, existing within reach the entire time, after being separated for so long. But it wasn't the same; it never could be. Time and trauma had changed them both into something unrecognizeable, and when they came face-to-face, they could only hurt each other. At a certain point, the ghosts of your past are meant to stay ghosts. Sure, you might want them back more than anything --- but what would it mean? What would you truly be getting back?

Luke's "back", of course, and he comes home to visit his parents multiple times... but they're not the same people he left. They're older, greyer, changed by grief... while he's just the same. A snapshot forever frozen in time, a memory crystalized in amber. You can't hold memories in your hands. You can't pull them close and refuse to let them go. Eventually, they'll slip away... and to Mitch and Emily, a memory is all their son is, now. That's what's so heartrending about the situation we see in the show, especially --- so much love still exists between all of them, but it has no place to go.

Okay, sorry, it's 3am here and I'm rambling too, haha --- mentioning musical theatre was a mistake.

I'm so glad my stories have been able to connect with you, especially 'shadows' --- that one resonated with a lot of people, more than I ever realized it would. It's not the most personal story to me... but definitely one that needed to be told, and the emotion in it... hits home for a lot of people. It means so much to me knowing that story, and Alex's internal struggle, has made people feel less alone.

I think I'm going to have a hard time looking back on that one, though. We were staying at my aunt's house for the weekend where I wrote most of it; I read a few excerpts to her, and she said she liked it. She was always interested in my writing... I kind of wish I'd gotten the chance to share more of it with her.

Like you said. Grief's a funny thing. Disorienting, relentless, and crushing.

Please just remember, though --- whatever you're dealing with, you're not alone. You don't have to cut yourself on those broken pieces... one day, you'll wake up, and realize you feel whole again. It will never feel the same, and the pain will always be there... but healing around it is what makes us stronger. You don't owe anyone your forgiveness; it's okay to grieve when you've lost something, regardless of whether death has taken them from you. Grief doesn't have to be earned, it simply has to be felt.

You'll be stronger for it, in the end. I'm sorry you've been hurting so much.

Anyways! Oh gosh! On to lighter, happier topics! Please tell me...

What are your favorite fics? (Like, my fics, obviously, which fics of mine do you just go gaga over? Please praise me or else my ego will shrivel like a worm on hot pavement.) No, okay, I'm kidding --- what are your top fics for this fandom? Like, what are the ones that really resonate with you, that you could read over and over? The JATP fandom has so many greats, but I'm always drawn back to Some Killer Queen You Are by pearlcaddy (buffyverse meets jatp!! iconic!!), Lantern's Light by thefairhero (literally the SOFTEST reggie), the sky's not empty tonight by firefall (just... devastating and beautiful in a dozen ways), and literally anything by foundfamilyvevo.

How long have you been in the JATP fandom? Who are your favorite characters? What's your favorite JATP song?

And finally, most importantly... what are your favorite musicals?

(also... since u asked... behold keith richards and tremble)

#vampire anon my beloved #also... vampire anon... you're a writer #i can tell!! i can read it in your words #youre so eloquent and put things so beautifully #do you write fic?? have you posted any for jatp??

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bubblyani · 5 years ago

Text

Amends

(Bruce Wayne x Reader)

A Bruce Wayne One Shot

Genre: Fluff

Request by: @tealaquinn. Thank you so much.

Author’s Note: This was quite an interesting request. Truthfully it was kinda challenging for me but I hope I did it enough justice. Enjoy!

Soundtrack: “Tongue” by Maribou State (lyrics in italics, and between the **xx**)

“Master Wayne!”

The elderly, yet controlled voice of Alfred Pennyworth echoed from the brick walls, to their rocky counterparts, ringing against the running waterfall that was set against the cavern beside the underground section of Wayne Manor. Taking a few steps further, the seasoned Butler of the Wayne family finally laid eyes on the one he was searching for. The one who perched beside his computers in his simple t-shirt and shorts, while his eyes remained glued on to the screen.

“Master Wayne…” Alfred repeated, in a softer voice. “Not now Alfred…” Bruce Wayne replied with urgency, giving no consideration to pass a glance. “He’s right, Alfred. He seems very busy right now”

Eyes, hands parted from the keyboard in lightning speed, anyone would have assumed they caught on fire. Turning his head, Bruce got up from his chair, in the style akin to a child’s upon seeing Christmas presents early. For only one voice managed to do that to him: Yours.

Standing next to Alfred, you leaned against one of the brick walls with your arms folded and your lips curled up into a smile.

“Y/N!” Bruce breathed. Your smile grew bigger. “Hey Bruce…” you said affectionately.

A part of you badly wished you knew him longer, just so you could proudly shout out, “Yes, we were friends since childhood” or “Yes, I’ve known this man since University”. But it was truly unfortunate that you could not. You were simply “someone he was seeing…” , and that was the actual truth. Running into each other one fateful day at a Yacht party wouldn’t necessarily be the perfect meet cute but, the both of you were equally grateful to be there, for he managed to save you from a night of boredom, and you were relieved to hear that you did the same for him as well. Intellectually and empathetically compatible in an instant, it did not take that long for the eccentric billionaire to ask you out. Typically, you wouldn’t care to be seen with people like him. But he was different for sure. And you did not regret saying yes, for every date you was simply a window of opportunity for real conversation, to actually dig into each other’s lives with genuine curiosity and care. If anyone ever looked at the two of you, hoping to see an eager gold digger trying to tame his heart with her body, they would embarrassingly look away, for they were sourly mistaken. For it seemed like two friends, passionately conversing with occasional flirts every now and then.

“May I… take your coat, Ms. Y/L/N?” Alfred finally inquired, making you look down at your long trench coat.

“Oh…” you chuckled, nodding “..Thank you” allowing him to peel it off your frame, revealing the Silver Spaghetti strapped dress that reached up to your knees. Paired with silver high heels and simple, classy jewelry adorning your wrists necklace and ears, your long shiny hair was pulled into a high ponytail. Given Bruce’s reaction, you knew you’ve done a good job. Walking away with a knowing smile on his face, Alfred left the two of you alone.

“As much as I appreciate the impromptu visit, what brings you here?” Bruce asked, eyes never leaving you as you took steps towards him. With eyes widened and hands on your hips, you scoffed. “You’re kidding, right?” You said, “Kathleen Gray’s fundraiser was tonight. I just came from that” you said, showing your outfit as you did so. “Wait! That was tonight?…” Bruce asked, to which you nodded in acknowledgement, “Huh…” he said to himself in realization.,“You know, for some reason I assumed you wouldn’t come…” he said, while offering you his own seat by the computer.

 “Well, since Wayne Enterprises donated a ton of money, I assumed you would…” you replied in an instant, taking the seat nodding in thanks. The moment you sat down, the moment you stared at the computer screen, you could figure out the reason for his absence tonight, “But… that’s all done now…” you said quietly. You wondered if he could sense the remorse in your tone. You felt guilt in the tip of your tongue.

“You look beautiful, you know” You smiled, turning in your seat upon hearing Bruce’s comment. Every time he’d see you, he would never fail to say that. But every time he did, it felt like the first time, for it was different every time. As if he saw something differently beautiful every single time. It was never obligatory. He really meant it and you appreciated it.

“Yeah well…” you began, looking down at your outfit, “ it looked much better with the whole pretentious lighting” you said, as both of you chuckled together.

“Trust me, it looks great here too” Bruce quickly added for it escaped his lips so fast, making you slightly blush. Clearing his throat, he continued “How was the event?”

“Oh you know the usual…a whole load of ass kissing and then dinner and dancing” you said, getting up and sitting on the side of the table, offering him the seat, “Would have been less sufferable with you around…” gesturing him to sit again, “So thats why I’m here…to be a little cross with you for not coming” you added with a mocked British accent. Sitting down, Bruce chuckled again.

“Well please accept my apologies…” he said, to which you shook your head playfully.

“Nuh huh…that won’t do Wayne, I rejected to dance with at least dozen gentlemen tonight cause I wanted to dance with you first…” you pouted teasingly.

“You didn’t have to…” “Oh…But I did…”

“In that case, what can I do to make it up to you?” He surprised you by taking your hand. You didn’t know why but, for some reason, the way he looked at you, and the way he held your hand, made you feel at peace for a moment. A kind of peace you never felt before. Blinking it away, you chuckled.

“Well…maybe your powerful friend can help” you said, with a mischievous smile. “And how exactly?…”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Bruce Wayne was never hesitant to make amends with a grand gesture, be it an expensive dinner or an expensive gift. All expensive.

But letting you ride the Bat-pod? Certainly unexpected.

The impressively stylized two wheeled machine darted from the secret exit of Wayne Manor, just making it on the suburban road nearby in the late hours past midnight.

“I still insist you change” Bruce said loudly, as he sat behind you. Sporting leather jacket and jeans, he looked worriedly at you, especially when you literally had taken the wheel in your evening attire. With your dress hiked up high enough, your entire legs and thighs were exposed to the midnight air.

“It’s fine…” You replied casually, with your eyes on the road, “Why? Are you distracted?” You asked, adding a smug tone, for he could not see your face. “Best if I don’t say anything” He replied, making you laugh, “Are you okay with the controls-Whoa!” He exclaimed as you increased the speed for a second, making it jerk. “I’m good, Wayne!” You replied in assurance. “Yes, clearly”

Taking in a deep breath, you soaked in what you indulged. The tall, majestic trees, embellishing the sides of the lonely road, passed within seconds as the cool wind blew through you. It was chilly, yes. But the heat caused by your excitement within was enough to protect you.

“Ah…this is perfect” you yelled out, “You know what we should have? Some-” “-music?” Bruce finished the sentence for you, “Way ahead of you” he said, taking your phone out from his jacket. You smiled to yourself. Clearly this man knew you just as you knew him. “Just put it on shuffle…”

As soon as the music began to play, you knew what it was, and it never felt more perfect.

The way the electronica melody started off slow, blending in with the pluck of the cello strings as the melody naturally picked up speed to it’s original rhythm. The way the haunting voices harmonized and paired with the rhythmic bass. Filling both pairs of your ears, before the female lead vocal made her entrance:

**No light when I ask you, that's a shame**

Smiles were all that you had, as the song continued:

**No high better than you, easy**

Did not matter how many times you’ve listened to this song, you simply could never get enough of it.

**I'm tripping over my own tongue, Lie! Desire, like an illness, chokes me You lit me up so smoke me oh

You made it so obvious ….that you’re not in love You never gave a damn bout us… 'cause you're not in love**

“You’re really enjoying this, aren’t you?” Bruce’s voice landed on your ears, suddenly interrupting the hypnotic musical chorus. Your eyes widened. “You kidding me? Hell yes!” You said excitedly, “I mean…why should you have all the fun?” You added teasingly, making him chuckle. “Someone’s been jealous!” “Guilty…”

**No time to regret this, what we've done**

Your sight was suddenly disrupted slightly by a huge strand of hair that landed on your face. Shaking your head frantically, you attempted your hardest to toss it back.

**Still I second guess it, cold feet**

You felt like a downright idiot doing so, until Bruce came into your air, lightly brushing it away from your face.

**I'm tripping over my own tongue Lie! **

His fingers, they tickled your skin, awakening it as they brushed against it. “Thanks…” you said, looking at him involuntarily. “Eyes on the Road, kid…” he said, quickly putting both his hands over yours as he took control. “Right…” red in the face, you looked straight ahead.

**Love has been and gone and now I'm numb**

For a man who found it hard to put his trust on others except a very few, he placed his trust in you faster than expected. And you did not exploit it. You were patient with him, even those moments when he suddenly ‘had to leave’ for ‘an emergency’, you were certain you’ll find out the reason why in due time. And surely enough, you clutched your chest in surprise when Bruce Wayne showed up at your window one night, except he was The Dark Knight, thus revealing his secret. Shocked you were yes, yet the only way you could think of responding was to embrace him, interrupting his apology for concealing all this time. And tonight, when you stared into that computer screen, when your eyes wandered over those scars he bore in secret, you were reminded again of that guilt you felt in your tongue.

“Bruce I…” you began, taking a deep breath, “I’m sorry about earlier…” you said, as you felt him look at you confusingly.

You continued, “I should know better…You’re out there…here…doing something more important…than going to a stupid black tie event. I mean, you’re literally trying to save this city. I guess I was being selfish… just wanted a reason to…spent some quality time with you”

**You made it so obvious ….that you’re not in love You never gave a damn bout us… 'cause you're not in love**

The volume you spoke in was soft, yet you wished he heard you.

“Well…” you finally heard him reply, “I’m glad you did” Sighing with relief, your eyes widened once again.

“Whoa! Look at that!”

Jaw dropped, you gazed at the view of Gotham that was finally was within your sights. An entirely daring side to you emerged when the roads changed from country suburban to the metropolitan. Empty streets awaited Bat-pod, welcoming it to ride freely and wipe the night time solitude away. The interlude played right on time as the bass took a rest, and those haunting voices returned:

**Rolling… down… into the wildest dream**

It was so quiet all the sudden, with just a beautiful vocalise floating over your ears. Like a calm before a storm, something brewed inside you. Your eyes were illuminated by the lights that shone ahead. And then the repeated melody grew louder, syncopating with the lights that shone from the buildings down to the street, increasing the adrenaline within you, giving you a rush. They kept alit as the voices kept singing:

**Rolling…. down… into the wildest dream**

You felt invincibility coursing through you.

**You sent my soul… downstream**

Taking a chance, you slowly increased the speed of the bike, making the lights that passed increase in speed alongside you. Funny how it perfectly paired up with the hypnotic musical chorus that began once again. The rhythm syncopated with your sense of excitement and increase of your heartbeat. Laughing with pure ecstasy, you screamed victoriously in celebration of a freedom you never knew you could posses.

Sneakily, you stole a glance of Bruce across your shoulder, giving him a smile. A smile that could be translated in a million ways. And that’s when he saw it.

A woman of capability, pure bad assery, shining from exterior to a degree she shone from within as well. All from pure euphoria.

“Wow…” he muttered under his breath, “Holy Shit…”

The moment he said it, the moment those words caressed your ears, you suddenly felt his heart beating evidently faster against your back. And you swore your own rhythm changed into matching his.

**You made it so obvious...**

You felt the presence of his hand a little bit more than usual. And how you liked the fact it still stayed on top of yours. It made you feel warm, warmer than the excitement that brewed within you.

**You made it so obvious ….that you’re not in love**

Funny, you would have never imagined an evening filled with an adrenaline high could finally convince the both of you to come to terms with what really brewed between the two of you.

**You never gave a damn bout us… 'cause you're not in love**

And just like that, you couldn’t really relate to the words you just heard, for they were quite ironic.

For the feelings were quite the opposite, and most definitely mutual.

——————————————————

@erika92pu @christianbalefanatic

Check my MASTERLIST for More :)

#christian bale #bruce wayne #bruce wayne x reader #bale! bruce wayne #Nolan Batman trilogy #bruce wayne imagines #bruce wayne fluff #batman begins #the dark knight #the dark knight rises

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404fmdtaejin · 4 years ago

Photo

famed idol life / career meme

notes: once again, a big mega post because i didn’t want to flood dash with answers. thanks to everyone that sent in!!

1. what is your favorite single you’ve released?

“solo wise? i’ve only released one solo portal song, which was a self-written song called that’s okay. well, bc forced that one on me when they took pages from my diary — still, my only one solo release, and that’s the favorite since i’m left with no other option. in regards to group? everyone knows, amigo or not — my favorite will always be view. something special about that time, i tell you.”

2. what are your favorite b-sides/non-title tracks you’ve released?

“since i haven’t released any songs by myself other than the one mentioned before, i’d have to go through decipher’s discography. lovesick, odd eye, prism, honesty, stranger, better off — there’s a lot to sift through in the past few years. unfortunately, there’s a point where my interest had started weaning off idol-dom, and you can observe that when i stopped paying attention and interest into what decipher did conceptually after 2016. at least the enjoyment was fun while it lasted.”

3. what is your least favorite song (title track or b-side) you’ve released?

”that’s an easy one. you take any b-side we’ve released in the past few years, and that probably makes the list. the comeback with the b-side shot was awful. that’s probably the worst, in my head. never was a fan of that comeback, now that i think of it — i call it the dark blip of decipher’s early career. perhaps it’s just ambivalence at this point that i have no real strong feelings towards bsides nowadays.”

4. if you could do a duet with anyone in the industry, who would you choose? what do you think of your/your group’s concept?

“i’d want to do a duet with duri — we’ll have a tale of the oldies. the two 1990 liners inside bc’s walls doing a ballad song. though, duri would have to take the high notes on that one seeing as how he’s a power vocalist. there’s rarely times where i’m able to keep in touch or have people around my age, and for that — i’m always grateful when i come across that. we’d manage something interesting given the same age, and the ballad concept.”

5. what do you think of your/your group’s concept?

“decipher doesn’t really stick to a concept, and i suppose our concept has always been to branch into new avenues. there’s good things and bad things about it, obviously. we’re given new things to try, new stylings, and what not. however, we’re also subjected to that risk in case it doesn’t turn out how bc envisioned. to put it short — it’s either a hit or miss.”

6. what is one thing (a concept, a genre, an outfit, etc.) you would least like your company make you do?

“decipher’s novelty in the industry is that we’ve been here so long that we’ve managed a lot of different concepts. from the house pop to retro vibes, even spring ballads in soft tunes — we’ve done it all. the least? i’d say another electronic heavy music where we’re dancing like madmen. i wouldn’t mind a powerful choreography to show i can still ‘hang’, but to the sounds of techno-ish music? i don’t think so. at least, not with my age.”

7. what one thing (concepts, genres, styling, frequency of comebacks, etc.) would you like to change about your current career as an idol?

“i don’t want to comeback so frequently — it seems we’re coming back more frequently than other rookies. it would be nicer to stay back and relax while we let the hoobaes have their time to shine. genres and concepts aren’t really on the top of my list to complain about, though i would enjoy an old throw-back to decipher’s glory days where we’re given something newer. perhaps, that’d be enough to rejuvenate my attitude towards the industry.”

8. if you could be in any idol group, which one would you choose?

“with my age, i don’t think i’d fit any group. perhaps, i could assimilate myself to knight, but the bad boy niche doesn’t really match mine. say, i was a few years younger — then, you’d have me inside charm. i think i’d do a pretty good left and right if you ask me.”

9. if you could say one thing to your ceo, what would it be?

“i respect the business model you form. however, i’m still trying to understand it when applied to me. thirteen years, and i have yet to sit down and have a conversation with you. it’d be nice to have one someday.”

10. if you were auditioning for your company today, what would you perform for your audition, or what would you change from your original audition?

“my audition was so long ago. fourteen, fifteen years now, and that’s nearly half of my life. i wish i could remember parts — but there’s only the snippet of a ballad i sang, probably kim bum soo. all alongside some awkward dancing that bc shaped me up for. i’d probably pick a sung sikyung song instead.”

11. if you could do any special stage, what would it be and who would it be with?

”call it a weird match, but i’d have a set with duri, andy, joohwan, my maknae and jiah. well, those would be the people i’d know well enough to collaborate with, though the outcome might not be as promising as i initially thought. case closed, never make me do a special stage.”

12. what career opportunities would you like to pursue that you’ve yet to, or what achievements would you like to obtain that you’ve yet to?

“maybe a bit of variety? i’m completely happy where i am with acting, though it’d be better if decipher’s comebacks were rarer. however, i’m taking what i can get and variety might be a chance to show the side that doesn’t get shown when i’m playing a role on tv. i’ve heard from some people that i can be funny at times.”

13. if you could become a model or ambassador for any brand, what would you choose?

“as much as i like high fashion, i haven’t done any modeling in regards to brand deals with high fashion. a luxury brand would be nice — i hear prada has changed with the entrance of raf simons. i’ve been into the streetwear look lately after itaewon class, so that would be a current go-to. otherwise, i think i’m happy promoting good feel and credit cards.”

14. if you could be on any variety show, which one (or which type of one) would you want to be on?

“i live alone would be my first pick. only because i’ve decorated my house nicely recently, and haven’t had a chance to show it off to many people as i’m not home as often these days. however, that’d require an off day and i don’t have many of those lately. i think people would be shocked to see what i do when i’m around my house, lounging and rarely moving around.”

15. if you were offered the chance to become a ceo of an entertainment company, new or existing, would you take it? why or why not?

“as much as i’m leader of decipher, i don’t think i could handle leading a company. i wouldn’t want to become a ceo. it distracts from my own schedule, and i’d be too focused on my company rather than the hobbies and interests that appeal to me. sure, i’d make more money — but what’s more money on top of the money i already have? it’s counterproductive and i’d rather do what i like doing.”

16. what changes would you implement if you were the ceo of your company?

“each company runs on a specific pattern of events, and there’s a reason for that. a reason why routine shapes each group, so i wouldn’t necessarily change much. my trainee year was difficult, but it also fostered friendships within the group that i consider irreplaceable. the only change i can think of? maybe getting to know my artists rather than staying far off.”

17. what do you do to relieve the stress of idol life?

“i work out. i run a lot, and go to the gym as cliche as it sounds. but each role requires me to be in top shape, and after all that i’ve found a love for working out each morning. other than that, i like to shop and cook, even walk my dog. normal things any other person does on their day off. by the end of the day? finishing it off with a cold beer becomes my saving peace.”

18. what tips would you give to a trainee about to debut?

”push through it because it’s only a matter of time till debut happens. the trainee years are taken for granted, and you need to learn to treasure those moments. once debut happens, there’s no looking back and you’re constantly on the move — so, you’re better off enjoying now. also, don’t be afraid to approach sunbaes. we’re all in the same boat, been there and done that, so let us help where we can.”

19. what was the hardest part of being a trainee?

“singing while running around the room? i remember running too many laps, out of breath belting a high note. looking back, it was probably the time i thought i was going to end my trainee career right there and run to my parents. other than that? learning to live with others? i’ve lived a blessed life, and i’ve never had to share a room with anyone. that felt like a culture shock.”

20. did you enjoy the lifestyle of a trainee or of a debuted idol more?

“call me weird, but i’d say the trainee life. there was something special about those days, and now i’m so many years in my career and i miss the days crammed in the dorms. i don’t think there’s anything like it. the structure of it, the tears of joy and sadness all into one — every emotion all there. it’s rare moments like those i’ll never get back.”

21. what one song or album by another group or soloist would you have liked to release yourself?

“i’ve heard a lot of songs, but i heard a song recently by a charm member. one of the solo projects of dai, and his song let’s love was something that made me want to release music as well. maybe, it’s just inspiration just at that moment, but the song was something i enjoyed listening to. knight’s tempo was also something that i wish decipher was given, just because there’s a certain spark when it comes to the song.”

22. describe your dream sub-unit (members and concept).

“my dream sub-unit? does that relate to in-group or out of group? for the sake of this question, i’ll keep it in-group to simplify things. i’d like to keep our main vocal, myself and our lead rapper only because the maknae already has his thing in champion — though conceptually, i’m not sure what we’d be able to do. something non-dance related, i’d hope. perhaps, a power house vocal because i know our lead rapper can belt a few notes better than most main vocals of other groups.”

23. out of the following six options, would you rather be allowed to play a major hand in the lyrics, production, choreography, styling, music videos, or concepts you release?

“no lyrics, production or choreography. i’ve never been talented in that market, and maybe that’s why i don’t take part in any of these things. instead, i’d keep to the styling, and music videos — though, i don’t have an artistic eye. perhaps, i’d keep to styling as it lies most with my interests. my members might get bored of wearing the same dress shirts and slacks for each comeback.”

24. which of the two other companies (out of bc, dimensions, and gold star) you are not currently signed under would you rather be an artist in?

“none of the other two. i’ve said it time and time again that i’m loyal to bc — i might complain about it, sure. but in hindsight, i don’t see myself being in any other music company. now, if you had asked me in terms of acting? then, we’d have a different story between namoo, artist and vast.”

25. what is your least favorite part of being an idol?

“there’s no breaks, not for age. there’s little opportunity to cease the past, and continue on a new future. instead, i’m always tethered to the role of an idol, and despite how much i try — they still reel me back in each time for another comeback. on top of that, some songs don’t age well with time — decipher has a few of those. yet, because they’re fan favorites, i have no choice but to dance and sing along as if it’s 2009 again.”

26. what is your favorite part of being an idol?

“ironic, but there’s a lot of opportunities to try new things. i wouldn’t have thought of cf modeling or acting, if it weren’t for the opportunities presented to me. as a result, i’ve found a new enjoyment in an acting career due to the idol life. plus, along the way i meet different people to give me new insight — suppose it keeps me young again.”

27. would you rather be incredibly famous with a terrible reputation and hated by most or be fairly unknown with a good reputation and adored by those who know of you? why?

“i don’t know how to answer this one because being incredibly famous with a terrible reputation is just a cheapened output of your career you’ve built thus far. that would simply become a life unenjoyable, so by default i suppose i’d rather have the latter. fairy unknown with a good reputation because that way, you have a basis to build yourself up.”

28. what moment in your career are you proudest of so far?

“i’d either attribute it to parasite, which did win a lot of accolades not only in the country but out or i’d give it to the recent baeksang nomination for the dramas i was in. i don’t think i’d ever predict the success of stories i had a pleasure of working on. in retrospect, it was nice that so many people were able to relate and get along with the characters i was given the honor of portraying.”

29. what have you learned about yourself and/or society since becoming a celebrity?

“i’m no longer an extrovert. in fact, i’m more of an introvert. i used to think i was an extrovert, and one time i was when i was busy running around getting assimilated to those new faces. however, over the years, my circle’s only run short and i’ve been given little things here and there that make me want to preserve my small circle of people i’ve gotten to know along the way. i don’t like going out and partying, and much rather have a night in with dubu in peace.”

30. what would you like to change about how society views or treats idols?

“it’d be nice to be given more freedom — but isn’t that what everyone wants? i’m talking about stepping into something without facing backlash, or how we’re seen as approachable because we’re public figures. it’d be nice to sit down and have a meal without the thought of dispatch finding who i’m with, or scrutinizing any of my friendships. there should be some level of normalcy given, and i think that’s the least anyone could ask for.”

#fmdmeme001 #thanks to everyone that sent in!! :)#fmdkiana #fmdtaeyong #fmdjihoon #fmdsunghee #fmdjoosung #jiwonfmd #fmdting

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heartlessconviction · 4 years ago

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Kingdom Hearts: Melody of Memory. Pleasantly surprised however not worth £60

So I’ve beaten Melody of Memory and I’ll be the first to say, it surprises me just how fun this game is. I am not fond of Rhythm games to begin with and as you may already know I am exceedingly critical when it pertains to the KH series as a whole. I think most of the games are flawed in a game design and mechanical standpoint. And I’ll be bold enough to say the series has been getting progressively worse since KH2FM dropped in 2007. Re:Mind redeemed KH3 somewhat yet we are 11 patches in and Guard is still fucking broken so you be the judge there. There really isn’t much I can say since the gameplay really doesn’t have any level of depth towards it, you hit the notes on time with the beat essentially. You have a melee attack which is placed onto the 2 bumpers and one face button, you need all 3 since at some point you will need to hit notes simultaneously. The most depth you will get is in the Gliding and avoiding attacks, upon the track some heartless will try to hit you and by jumping over these it counts as a beat in any given song, you will also need to utilize the jump since certain heartless can only be hit whilst in the air. At parts in a song you will also need to glide and manouver your character into green notes, but the same basic rule of thumb applies here. Later in the game you will come across deep dives and boss fights, which force you to also use the analogue stick to hit notes, but at the end of the day you are just tackling a song. The amvs that play are pretty scripted and in these segments they can become extremely distracting as the notes tend to blend in with the video in the background. This only applies to the Deep Dives and the boss fights, but it can become a pain in the arse when you miss a note due to a white flash lingering within the video and it tricks you to press the button a tad early. In terms of story the game is pretty bareboned, I will say this now. If you are playing this game strictly for the story and you have no interest in the Rhythm game genre. Save yourself 60 dollars, the new story content is held towards the end of the 8 hour campaign, for the rest of it Kairi is pretty much summarizing the events of the Xehanort Saga. Poorly I might add as so much context is stripped away from these summaries. If this is your first KH game, do not go into this expecting to understand the events of the previous Saga. These summaries are designed to pad out game time, they do not serve as passable representations of the last 15 years of the series. There are far more effecient ways to experience the story as a newcomer via The Story So Far HD Collection Bundle. MoM fails heavily in this regard. {I’m not going to go into depth on the new Story content as this isn’t a spoiler review or anything.} In terms of playable characters you have 4 teams, consisting of 12 characters as a whole. A Sonic Heroes predicament, all of the characters function the same and whatever miniscule difference they have is strictly cosmetic. At some point in a few worlds you will have guest characters with you, but again they function the same. A disappointing aspect of this Team System is that the Team Members are locked and with no ways to customize them, perhaps mods for the Switch will fix this. However for the base game each member is locked into a particular team, so you are unable to change them around. For example you cannot put Sora, Roxas and Xion within the same team. I do not understand why this hasn’t been included as timeline plotholes cannot be used as an excuse, as you can face any of the bosses with any of the teams. So you could have Team Days face off against KH1 Ansem. Admitingly its a small omittance since the teams are merely cosmetic. Yet as we know cosmetics whilst insignicant to the gameplay itself does hold merit to a games content and overall value when it pertains to replayability and customizability. Teams and Team Members: Team Classic: Sora, Donald and Goofy Team Days: Roxas, Axel and Xion Team 3D: Riku and Dream Eaters Team BBS: Aqua, Ventus and Terra The song selection is something I adore and hate at the same time, you have classics such as: Sanctuary Simple and Clean The 13th Dialema The other Promise Another Side/Another Story {Deep Dive} Vector To the Heavens Even One-Winged Angel makes an apperance. Yet there is a shocking absence of KH3 representation, you have Let it go and a few other songs. {Around 8 in total} But considering the fact I actually prefer a lot of the KH3 variations of the songs its disappointing they didn’t make the cut. Especially the masterpieces from the Re:Mind DLC. Above all of that for a lot of the songs they use the original PS2 renditions rather than the remastered variations from the HD remixes which... Why? They are inferior in comparison imo. Even so, Let it Go in japanese is fire. As a whole this game surprised me, but I do not think for a second that its worth the 60 quid asking price. Its amazing to have a homage to all of these amazing tunes from the series thus far, nevertheless for the story content whilst it isn’t as halve arsed as Re:Coded. Its not enough to justify the price tag. Rhythm games are not for everybody and that is perfectly fine, people aren’t getting upset because KH has a Rhythm game. They take issue with the fact lore is locked behind the paywall, and yes whilst you can just watch the cutscenes on youtube like most of us do with Union cross and Dark Road, it just isn’t the same experience that you would get from experiencing the cutscenes yourself after a tough challenge. If this game was 30, which I whole heartedly believe it should have been. I would be a tad warmer in my critique. Unfortunately that isn’t the case, from a gameplay standpoint this is truly a quality product. Its just overpriced, now if they included the KH3 songs and the Re:Mind songs within the base product maybe that would shift my stance, however I have a suspicion they are going to try and milk those for DLC. If not great but it just feels like something Square would do at this point. No Simple and Clean Ray of Hope Mix is not included. Yeah, it baffles me as well. The conclusion in which I will sign off with is this. Despite my feelings on the games price tag, It has succeded in fundamentally changing the approach in which I listen to music going forth. Upon playing this overtime my brain slowly started to recognize the patterns and began to pick up on the subtle nuances that the majority of these songs contain. Small features of a particular track you wouldn’t even think about on a casual listen can be indispensible in building up to the grander narrative of a song, the slightest of mistakes can cause the melody as a whole to fall flat and this was something I had to come to grips with and adapt to when going for the full chains. Even now when I listen to songs in my free time, these small details are easier to notice and I feel that I am presented with a whole new experience with some of my favourite Songs. It is like I am truly experiencing them for the first time once more and that is something I will forever attribute to this game.

#Kingdom Hearts #Melody of Memory #Surprised me #A tad overpriced however

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solastia · 5 years ago

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Author Interview : underthejoon

((If anyone wants to make a cool banner for this, please do. I suck at them))

Today is the debut of a new project. Whether it sticks around for long depends on you guys, but for now the plan is to interview one author a month. Creators are often underappreciated on here (or anywhere, for that matter), so this is me doing my part to connect our readers and writers in a meaningful way. Our first interview is with @underthejoon, someone whose work I myself have enjoyed for many years now. If you enjoyed this interview, please be sure to send in authors you’d like me to talk to for future editions, as well as any specific questions you’d like answered (except for questions about updating, that will get you a ban).

Where can your work be found?

I’m kind of a mess and so while I attempt to cross post, I’m not always great at it. All of my work can be found on my tumblr masterlist but some of my things are on Wattpad and AO3. I’m also underthejoon on both of those platforms.

Links to where readers can donate:

I made a ko-fi account ages ago that I never shared with the public because I’ve always felt guilty. Which is silly, idk why I do. But there it is!

Main bias (and why if you’d like)

So!! I have always been a Namjoon bias. From the very first time I saw them/the very first song I heard I was like yes, you. You are the one, I’m a goner!! He’s so wonderful and unique. He’s very mindful and creative and such a beacon of light to me. Plus, he’s very open with his humanity, if that makes sense? Like he is open about his therapy, his feelings about his perceived shortcomings, his excitement about finding place and things and works of art that inspire him. ALSO THOUGH, in the last year or so I’ve also become a Hoseok bias. He is just so dedicated and loving. He’s insanely talented and vastly underrated, in my opinion. And through all the back breaking work, he is kind through and through. He’s seriously just so warm and makes me really happy.

Hogwarts House :

Okay, the very first time I ever took it I was a slytherin. A few years later, I took it again and got hufflepuff. I like to think I’m a combination of the two but can see myself as more of a puff.

Describe yourself in five words:

Creative, Extroverted, Empathetic, Intuitive, Inquisitive

Current favorite BTS songs:

SO MANY, but I’ll pick 7 for 7 members. Some of these are old as hell but still currently my favorite lol. Love Maze, Love is Not Over, Outro: Her, Dimple, Tomorrow, Like, 2!3!

What was the defining moment when you decided, “Yes! I am going to write the thing!”?

For like fanfic in general? I feel like I had been reading a lot of it after “discovering” k-pop and then after a few months I was just like fuck it, I’m doing it!! I was always super into writing poetry and never thought I would be any good at anything like this but it sounded fun so here we are now.

What do you most enjoy about writing BTS fanfiction specifically?

I think it’s the community of writers. When I started my blog, I met a lot of really amazing supportive writers that I’ve managed to stay friends with and I think that makes a really big difference when you have people that can relate to you and what you’re doing.

Any tropes or au’s that you want to explore later?

I would really like to try writing some sort of supernatural creature fics. I’ve had this werewolf love triangle universe planned out forever that I would like to eventually write. Maybe like a workplace romance?

Which of your fics would you suggest for new readers?

For a completed series i’d say Piece by Piece. My WIP series, Love is Not Over is another one. For a one-shot I’d say, For You. Maybe the sweetness/make it right drabbles too.

Which of your fics is your favorite?

Piece by Piece, no doubt. I really feel proud of it and I have a hard time admitting I like anything I write.

What other fandoms do you wish you had the time to write for?

I used to write for EXO, Got7 and sometimes Monsta X and I miss it sometimes but also, I feel pretty contented in just writing for BTS. There’s a lot of inspiration there and I always felt I was being pulled in too many directions by my readers when I wrote for multiple fandoms.

What are your writing goals for the upcoming year?

I’d like to finish three series I have planned, get caught up on my collab fics and at least finish an outline for my original fiction piece I’ve been putting off!

Which writers do you read religiously?

There’s so many amazing writers on tumblr and I try as hard as I can to keep up with my mutuals when they put stuff out but sometimes it’s hard! I’m gonna be really brief because otherwise my list could go on and on. Okay, first and foremost, Shanna (@kpopfanfictrash) - she’s my best friend and a fabulous, wonderful writer. I would just like to give her a special shout out because not only does she entertain me for hours with her writing, she is very supportive of mine. Other authors I adore as humans and content creators and keep up with most regularly are @floralseokjin and @lamourche !

What is the weirdest thing you’ve had to google in the name of writing?

LOL. Hmm… I’m really boring and feel like I don’t really google that much when writing except maybe like different sex positions when i need a visual or synonyms to certain words. I’ve found some good porn though? Because visuals do help me.

Reader/OC fics within this fandom are often still looked down on and we all have to work hard to make them good enough for readers to look past their reputation. How do you combat the cringe?

TBH, I don’t think that responsibility lies on us as writers. If people don’t like certain types of writing, that’s on them and they can avoid it. Reader insert/oc fics are just as valid a genre as any. I’ve read some of the most beautiful, creative stories on this platform, some of which could be published if names were changed/reader was switched to a named OC. There’s something out there for everyone and it’s all subjective. While I might find certain things super cringey, others love it. To each their own as long as they aren’t shoving it in the faces of the people they’re writing about or being disrespectful, you know?

What is your personal guilty (or not-so-guilty) pleasure trope?

MUTUAL PINING/FRIENDS TO LOVERS. I feel like it’s so basic but I fucking love that trope and I think so many people do it so beautifully it is my absolute favorite.

What is something that you see often in other fanfics that drives you insane?

I think the only thing that really bothers me is when people romanticize abuse or other toxic/triggering topics.

Are any of the boys or ships more difficult for you to write than others?

I think I have the hardest time writing for Jimin and Taehyung but only because I feel I am the most similar to them and for whatever reason that deters me from writing about them often.

We all think we are the most hilarious person there is (even if we won’t admit it), so what is one line or scenario of yours that you like to go back to and giggle over?

Okay this was actually really difficult for me because I don’t write like any humor and don’t think I’m good at LOL. I think my only attempt at humorous writing was The New Guy in which the reader is high off her ass lying on the front lawn and thinking the world is ending then accusing Namjoon of being the Grim Reaper when he comes looking for her.

ONLY IF YOU WANT TO - A scenario as long or short as you want. Maybe 250 words or less. Godzilla is attacking the city and BTS is your rescue crew. How screwed are you?

“D-danger, you say?” Seokjin stutters.

“G-giant lizard monster headed this way?” Hoseok chokes.

The pair exchange glances then turn their focus towards you. Seokjin jerks his head towards the door and you nod in return.

“I hear what you’re saying, gentlemen,” Hoseok says as he stands on shaky legs. He grabs your hand as if to instruct you to do the same.

“And as much as we would LOVE to help you…” His grip is tighter now and you know what comes next.

Before he can finish, Seokjin shoots up from his chair and makes a mad dash towards the door. “Now, now, run, holy shit, NOW!”

Hoseok joins his friend in his haste to evacuate, dragging your nearly petrified form behind him. “No way in hell are we getting anywhere near that thing!”

Seokjin and Hoseok babble horrified nonsense between them but you can’t really decipher much of it. Your heart is pounding in your ears as you replay the name “Godzilla” in your brain.

They wanted you to rescue the city? What were they thinking?

When you reach Seokjin’s car, you have a brief moment of clarity. There are lives at stake, after all. How can you really just abandon the city when it needs a hero?

“What about everybody else?” you ask, voice small and fearful.

“Everybody else?” Seokjin huffs, putting the car in gear. He hardly gives your question a thought before he peels out of the parking lot. “Jungkook can handle everybody else. I raised him on my back, you know? It’s the least he can do!”

#bangtan bards #bts #bts writers #underthejoon #bts fanfic #bts authors #solastia #author interview

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bngtanah · 4 years ago

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I’m (not) With The Band. | o6

summary: Adrienne is an indie producer who is hired to help co-produce BTS’ next album alongside their resident producer; Suga. Despite the initial opposition on both ends, the pair spend time together, share a few stories, dreams and aspirations and begin to hit it off really well. Wrapped up in the whirlwind of late nights and heated disagreements and reconciliations, Min Yoongi and Adrienne Rolle find themselves growing closer and closer. One night they decide to cross the barrier between personal and professional and do their best make a relationship work against all odds.

pairing: idol!Yoongi x OC

word count: 4.8k genre: drama, romance, smut(eventually)

chapters: prologue| o1| o2| o3| o4| o5| o6| o7| o8| o9| 10| 11|

warning: fluff, workplace relationship, slow burn, sexual attraction, ambw, developing relationship, hand holding, mentions of alcohol, karaoke, jealousy.

a/n: so i’m still not sure if anyone’s actually reading these multichapter fics. I may stop uploading them if there’s no interest but I’m not sure at the moment. hmmmm, anyway here’s the latest!

Yoongi never knew what to do with himself on his days off.

Any amount of free time he ever had was always spent in a studio, practice room or curled up in his bed trying to allow his body to catch up on hours of missed sleep. So in a sense his days off were never really 'his', there was always an interview to be given, a meeting to go to or some song or dance move to tweak that required his attention. Today, however, was different. He and the rest of his band members genuinely had the entire day off to do whatever they wanted within reason and Yoongi was drawing a blank on just how he was going to spend the 10 hours he had to indulge himself. Taehyung, Jimin, and Jungkook all suggested the seven of them do something together while the older boys seemed content with doing nothing but lounging around their dorm with the option of having dinner together later that day. Yoongi was unusually on the fence about his decision; had this been any other day he would have jumped at the chance to stay in bed all day but if he made the choice to stay at home he wouldn't get the chance to do the one thing he knew he wanted to do today which was see Andy.

He hadn't seen her in person in almost a week since she accompanied them to the commercial shoot and he almost lost control of his senses. They spoke over the phone or through text messages to exchange ideas and demos of new tracks but Yoongi didn't trust himself to be alone with her in his current state. He could still vividly remember the sensation of her touching him, her soft palms pressing against his biceps and gently moving over his skin. The memory took hold of him at the most inopportune times and made him lose focus on whatever he was doing at that moment. More than once he found himself being stirred awake in the middle of the night, drenched in sweat and a hand he didn't remember moving in his sleep wrapped around his shaft. Needless to say, he had it bad for Adrienne and his desire for her was only getting worse by the day.

"What do you think Yoongi?"

Jin asked and Yoongi's eyes went wide. He hadn't been listening to any of their conversation, even though he was sitting in the circle with everyone else. Once again the thought of Andy had taken over his thinking process. The way everyone was looking at him he assumed that he was meant to be the tie breaker in some sort of resolution that probably decided what they were going to do for the day.

"I really wasn't listening" Yoongi finally answered and scratched the back of his neck, "What's the question?"

"Ah, hyung if you're spacing out already maybe you should just go back to bed," Namjoon said with a small chuckle, although he was probably just trying to garner support for his choice of staying home.

"They want to go to Lotte World, for god knows what reason," Jin started.

"They've added new attractions!" Taehyung and Jimin interjected simultaneously.

"Whatever, the rest of us just want to stay here, what are you going to do?"

Yoongi ran his fingers through his fringe and pretended to be deep in thought, he personally had no desire to be surrounded by a bunch of strangers and children today but going to an amusement park seemed like something Andy would love if he knew her as well as he thought he did. He was certain that she hadn't been any farther than a few blocks away from the BigHit building and her apartment since she moved here and that was almost six months ago.

"If you guys are going to the amusement park, why don't you take Andy along with you? She mentioned something about wanting to explore the other day didn't she?" He replied flippantly, just gauge a reaction without making it obvious that he wanted her to come.

"She did say something like that," Jimin nodded "Would she want to go to an amusement park though? I thought she meant something like exploring the city."

"I think she would like it, she seems like the type to enjoy places like that doesn't she?" Namjoon responded hastily before Yoongi had the chance to answer and everyone else nodded in agreement, "Y'know...if you're going to invite her shouldn't we all go?" Namjoon didn't have a convincing reason for why they all should go just because Andy might be coming along but after his suggestion, Hoseok begrudgingly agreed to tag along and Jin complained about not wanting to be left alone in the dorm to clean.

That left only Yoongi, who shrugged and turned his head away from the group to conceal the small hint of a smile that attempted to fight its way onto his lips. Taehyung and Jimin cheered, loudly, and shared a hi-five once it was decided that everyone would be going just like they originally wanted and Yoongi was already standing to his feet and backing away from the group to call Andy before Namjoon had the chance to steal that opportunity from him as well.

"Yeoboseyo?"

This time, Yoongi allowed himself to smile and duck his head down just slightly at the sound of Adrienne's voice which he always found amusing. Her Korean skills were slowly getting better, and she had a marked improvement compared when he first met her, but due to her accent, the way she pronounced certain words always sounded like she was singing a song. It was cute.

"Andy? Are you busy today?"

"Hello to you too Yoongi-ssi, I'm doing well thanks for asking," She replied dryly, " Uh, no I don't think so...I'm at the studio right now so that's all I planned on doing today.," Andy paused, "Why?"

"Well the kids want to go an amusement park and I'm being dragged along, so I wondered if you might want to come as well...? It would give us a chance to talk about some of the songs, right?" He quickly tacked on at the end to avoid seeming eager.

"An amusement park? That sounds so fun but someone might have to come get me, I got lost trying to find my apartment last night" Adrienne laughed and Yoongi grinned silently.

"I can do that," He offered while moving from the common room of their dorm into his bedroom to get dressed, "And you should be more careful going home in the night, why didn't you call someone?" He meant to sound concerned but his words only came off as chastising which made Adrienne groan softly.

"I found it eventually, leader-nim" She teased and snickered when Yoongi imitated her groan, "I'm a big girl I can take care of myself."

"Well, you should have no problem finding the amusement park by yourself then? I can leave you to it?"

"Hey...don't joke about that I'm really looking forward to going now."

"Don't start whining, I'm coming for you."

Adrienne squealed and hung up, allowing Yoongi to slip his phone into the pocket of his jacket and step back out into the common room. The boys were currently arguing about whether they should eat at the park before the rides or after instead of making preparations to leave, Yoongi informed them that he was leaving to guide Andy to park and glided out the front door before they had the chance to question him.

It only took him about ten minutes to reach the BigHit building but once he was a few blocks away he could clearly see Adrienne standing on the sidewalk, impatiently bouncing back and forth on the balls of her feet.

"Andy!" Yoongi called out once he was closer, and then immediately remembered that he was out in public and in front of the office building where he worked and at any moment some crazy fan could descend upon him and ruin his day. He adjusted the snapback on his head and kept his head down until he was standing next to Adrienne.

"Are you alone? I thought everyone was coming?" Andy commented as she peered around Yoongi's shoulder and noted the lack of people behind him.

"They are, but it's easier to travel if we aren't all together" Yoongi reassured, "I told them to meet us at the park."

Adrienne nodded and quietly followed after Yoongi as he lead them away from the BigHit building and towards the nearest subway station. The amusement park was about an hour away from where they were by train so they needed to spend less time they spent loitering around if they wanted to make it to the park before it got too crowded.

"So did you lose a bet and have to come pick me?" Adrienne probed offhandedly as they rounded a corner.

"What? No, I offered to come didn't I?"

"Yeah....I just thought that maybe someone put you up to it."

Yoongi scoffed under his breath and glanced to the side, he assumed that she was joking around like usual but the neutral expression on her face seemed to suggest otherwise.

"Why would you think that?" He finally asked.

"No reason...." She lied, "Okay that's not true I sort of thought that you didn't like me? Like we get along fine as coworkers but I feel so close to the other boys and whenever I try to get closer to you it feels like you pull away from me a little bit? I'm probably just being silly."

Yoongi was flabbergasted but didn't allow the shock to show on his features. Her assumption was so far off from what he actually felt towards her it almost made him laugh.

"You are being silly" He retorted with a huff, "Why wouldn't I like you? Do you want me to start showing you aegyo every five minutes like Jimin?"

Adrienne shrugged, "It wouldn't hurt."

She laughed out loud when Yoongi turned to glare in her direction but stopped abruptly when his hand latched onto hers and he pulled her close to his side.

"Stay close to me" Yoongi instructed while they descended the set of stairs that lead to the subway tracks, "When it's crowded like this it's easy to get lost so try not to trail behind."

Adrienne nodded and reaffirmed that she understood what he said by squeezing his palm between her fingers twice, once again testing Yoongi ability to restrain his base desires. He knew he was playing a dangerous game by grabbing her hand in the first place but he genuinely didn't want her to get separated from him while they waited for their train.

Curious eyes followed the pair as they waded through the crowds to get to their platform. Yoongi's first thought was that someone might have recognised him which made him feel self-conscious, then he remembered that he was holding hands with Adrienne. The self-consciousness he had been feeling suddenly turned into annoyance at the thought of so many people staring at them for no real reason.

"Yoongi?"

"Hm?" He grunted, unaware of the scowl currently forming on his lips

"Are you alright? Because you're kind of squeezing my hand real tight."

"Oh.." Yoongi relaxed his grip on Andy's hand but didn't let it go "Sorry."

When their train finally pulled to a stop in front of them Yoongi lead Adrienne forward and gestured for her to stand in front of him since the car was crowded. When she did he put his hand over hers once she held on to the metal bar to steady herself and caged her in with his body. Doing his best to ignore the crackling of sparks that buzzed throughout him when she leaned back. Yoongi was a protective person by nature, he looked out for the people he cared about in small, simple ways. Yet, with Adrienne everything he did seemed so over the top to him. The fact that she thought he didn't like her still shocked him when he thought he was being so transparent.

The train made quite a few stops before Adrienne and Yoongi reached their own, allowing them to take a seat once the crowd thinned out. They made good use of the hour-long commute by sharing a pair of headphones and critiquing a new song that Yoongi had spent the past few days preparing. There was a rumour spreading that one of the songs they submitted last week had no chance of being approved so their workload didn't seem to be getting lighter any time soon.

Before they realised it, their stop came up and they exited the train car with the earbuds still connecting them. The park was only a short walk from the subway station and after a small altercation about Adrienne wanting to pay for her own ticket, they finally entered the amusement park. It was just as busy and crowded with children and families as Yoongi thought it would be.

Adrienne, on the other hand, seemed immensely amused by everything she set her eyes on. All the bright flashing lights and intoxicating loud music would probably be enticing to see for the first time for someone who enjoyed that kind of thing but Yoongi was already looking forward to leaving. The euphoric look on Adrienne's face was the only thing keeping him from complaining.

"So, everyone else isn't here yet," Yoongi said as they weaved in and out of the groups of people pooled near the popular rides. "What do you want to first?"

"I don't know! I have no idea what's here, you pick something."

Adrienne was practically bouncing with excitement and Yoongi wished he could share her enthusiasm. He had only been here once before so he wasn't familiar with the attractions either but one did catch his eye as he glanced around.

"Let's try this one," He gestured to his left and took Adrienne's hand once again. The crowds weren't nearly as thick in the direction they were heading but, Yoongi still felt it necessary to hold her hand. Adrienne didn't mind the action one bit.

"We can use this to see what's worth riding," Yoongi commented as the came to a stop in front of large balloon shaped ride with a basket attached. If Yoongi had been more perceptive in that moment he might have noticed how unusually silent Adrienne had become. She was almost frozen in place while Yoongi handed over the tickets then pulled her forward without even noticing the resistance. Yoongi assumed she was too excited to speak up.

His assumption changed when the balloon began to rise and he heard an almost silent and shrill scream come from beside him. When he looked over Adrienne's eyes were shut closed so tight there were beads of tears pooling in the corners. Her fingernails nearly pressing deep enough into her thighs to break the skin.

"Andy? Are you okay?" He asked softly but she shook her head vehemently, refusing to open her eyes.

"I should have mentioned this before" Andy stuttered in a hoarse whisper "I am t-terrified of heights."

"Shit," Yoongi sighed and looked around, it was too late for them to get off since they were already connected to the ceiling and he doubted the conductor would hear him over the music playing. When he look down at Adrienne again he could see that she was visibly shaking and Yoongi quickly did the only helpful thing he could think to do which was reach over and pull her against his chest.

"You don't have to-" Adrienne protested initially, "If I stay still it's not so bad, I can deal with it."

Yoongi only shook his head and shushed her as he held her body even tighter to him. "I'm sure you can but I'm here, you don't have to suffer alone." His voice was gentle and took on a tone that he hadn't used with Adrienne before, he was generally kind or unintentionally judgmental when they spoke. But the cadence of his voice at that moment was comforting and soothing. He even took it upon himself to stroke the back of her head a few times, the way she seemed to nuzzle into his touch made him stop before he got carried away.

Adrienne exhaled a shaky breath and relaxed in his embrace after a few minutes, leaning her full weight against him. She was still tense and trembling for the duration of the ride. Yoongi could feel her body jolt with fear whenever track made a turn or started to creak as he rested his chin gingerly on the top of her head. He made sure to talk the entire time; his voice soft and low as he pointed out random and incorrect facts about the park and other tourist attractions, hoping that the sound of his voice would distract her enough to put her mind at ease.

He wasn't sure if it was working but by the time they were nearing the end of the track, Adrienne had stopped trembling and Yoongi swore he heard her giggle at one of his terrible jokes. The machine jerked slightly when they began their descent and this time, Adrienne wrapped her arms around Yoongi's waist. Holding on to him tightly before the basket finally touched the ground and she practically jumped out of the contraption.

Yoongi trailed behind and frowned deeply when he watched her grab a nearby fence with both hands to catch her breath. He hated seeing her like this, especially knowing that he was partly to blame for it.

"Are you alright?" He asked from a few feet behind her, not wanting to crowd her space.

"I'm fine now, nothing to worry about" Adrienne answered, turning to face Yoongi with a brave smile. She definitely seemed to have calmed down but somehow Yoongi could tell that she was still shaken.

"I should have asked you before pulling you on that thing," Yoongi apologised and cleared some of the space between them by stepping forward and placing a hand on her shoulder.

Adrienne responded by nodding and staking a step forward. Her hand resting over his, curling her fingers around the back of his palm. "It's alright, really. You didn't know and it wasn't as bad as it normally is, thanks for holding me and sorry about the makeup on your shirt."

"Don't worry about it," Yoongi said, his voice still sweet as honey as he moved his hand up to cup her jaw between his palm. His thumb gingerly grazing over the swell of her cheek with care. "I'm just glad you're okay."

Adrienne nodded again and they shared a moment of tacit silence before the unmistakable sound of Taehyung and Jimin both yelling out 'noona' made them separate and drop their hands.

"We've been looking for you everywhere!" Taehyung exclaimed once they were closer.

"Don't lie, we just got here," Jimin reminded him.

Adrienne giggled at their small squabble as the rest of the group soon joined them and they began moving forward to find one of the new attractions. Yoongi fell behind the group when Adrienne somehow ended up in the centre and Hoseok ended up walking with him since he wanted to be there even less than Yoongi did.

"Hyung.....is that makeup on your shirt?"

"Yeah," Yoongi replied nonchalantly.

"....What happened before we got here?"

"Not today, Hobi."

"Yah! You're cheating, there's no way you could have scored a perfect score on that song!"

"I'm a professional singer, what did you expect?"

Jungkook's smug expression made Adrienne scowl but she didn't have a good excuse to debunk him or enough evidence to prove that he actually was cheating. So she kept her mouth shut and leaned back into her couch as Jungkook ticked one of his eyebrows upwards and handed the microphone to Jimin.

All seven of them were piled into Adrienne's one bedroom apartment and crowded around her small dining table. Originally this was supposed to be a small gathering for Adrienne to get to know them better musically. If she was going to be writing songs for them to sing she wanted to make sure that they, at least, enjoyed what they would be singing. Somehow that reasonable meeting turned into a potluck dinner when she offered to make them a dish from her home country and Jin offered to make a Korean dish she'd never tried before. One thing lead to another and the karaoke machine Adrienne bought on a whim a few weeks ago was dug out of her storage closet and a competition began between the rappers and singers. With Adrienne joining the rappers to make it even.

The initial goal of the evening was long forgotten after they all shared the first two bottles of soju and once Adrienne whipped up a batch of her specialty cocktail to go along with her dish any hopes of actually making music was thrown out the window. She didn't mind, however, she wanted to learn more about their musical preferences and there was no better way to do that than watching everyone sing karaoke. Despite the fact that they were slightly inebriated and gave up singing seriously a long time ago.

"Ah, oppa, I didn't expect you to like this kind of song" Adrienne chuckled at Jin's next song choice, which was the Korean version of a Spice Girls song.

"Wait, you call him oppa but not me? We're both older than you!" Yoongi berated from beside Adrienne.

The slight slur in his words made Adrienne wonder if he was drunk already but he always sounded like that. His eyes were glossy and the apples of his cheeks were a faint red hue but he was still in control of himself.

"Jin-oppa treats me well, you haven't earned that title yet Yoongi-ssi." Adrienne playful replied, making Yoongi scoff and roll his eyes.

"I'm nice to you," Yoongi gasped and leaned closer "I even made a special Korean food for you to try."

"You don't cook," she teased, watching as Yoongi grabbed one of the unopened containers from the end of the table.

"I can cook! Here try this," Yoongi exclaimed and picked up one of the red-orange oblong shaped foods out of the container and held it towards Adrienne. She attempted to take it from between his chopsticks but Yoongi pulled away and shook his head.

"Not with your hands, your mouth."

"I can feed myself, y'know."

Yoongi exhaled and gave Adrienne a pointed look.

"What did you say you wouldn't do today?"

Adrienne pressed her lips together and glanced towards the floor like a child "....Complain."

"And, what are you doing right now?"

"Complaining....." Adrienne answered with a heavy and dramatic sigh.

Yoongi grinned widely, he was enjoying the fact that he was annoying her, even pulling his hand back a few times when Adrienne leaned forward to take a bite. It wasn't until Andy tapped him on the knee that he stopped playing around and scooted closer to her.

"Okay seriously, this time. I won't pull it back." He said as he brought the chopsticks close to Adrienne's mouth, "Open," Yoongi instructed as he gently held her chin between his thumb and index finger to keep her head in place. Almost as if out of habit Adrienne closed her eyes and opened her mouth, allowing Yoongi to slide the rice cake between her parted lips.

"Good girl," he growled in a deep and almost primal whisper, making Andy's eyes pop open. She'd never heard his voice go that deep and the way he looked at her once she finally looked in his eyes made a jolt of arousal run straight through her body.

"Should we leave you two alone?" Hoseok asked, as quietly as he could over Adrienne's shoulder with an innocent grin.

"Shut up," Andy and Yoongi replied, so in sync that it made them both laugh gently.

Over by the television, however, Namjoon wasn't so amused. He had been watching them for most of the night, flirting and stealing glances at one another when they thought no one was paying attention. The way Yoongi always managed to make sure Adrienne sat next to him and how Adrienne always found some excuse to touch Yoongi while they spoke. Namjoon wondered how he hadn't noticed it before but any doubts he had about whether something was going on between them had been disproved that night. He hated that he couldn't feel anything but jealousy when his friend looked happy.

They were both his friend but Namjoon still couldn't muster up the effort to pretend like he wasn't hurting inside. To save himself from heartache as Adrienne began cackling at a joke that could not have been that funny, Namjoon got up and silently slipped out the door. He hoped that a walk in the fresh air would clear his melancholy thoughts, he hadn't been drinking as much as everyone else did since he had to be responsible. Like always. Even on their days off his role as leader never left him.

"Hyung! Where are you going?" Jimin, who had followed Namjoon out almost immediately after he left, called from behind him.

"Uh, just for a walk. It's getting a little loud in there."

"Ah I see, do mind if I join you?"

Namjoon did mind but he shook his head anyway and started walking forward with Jimin next to him. They walked in silence for a while, the sounds of the city being their only ambiance until Jimin looked over at Namjoon and sighed.

"You know there's nothing you can do right?"

Namjoon paused and tilted his head to the side "What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about Andy-noona and Yoongi-hyung," Jimin replied in a matter of fact tone, "That's why you came outside isn't it? You like her."

Namjoon thought about lying but there was no point in lying to Jimin, he was always so good at reading people. "I don't want to feel like this but I just can't stop myself."

"That makes sense" Jimin nodded, "But I don't think they're dating, I could be wrong but we would be able to tell if they were actually dating."

Jimin was hoping to be reassuring but Namjoon didn't reply.

"I can't tell you that what you feel will quickly pass but eventually, it won't hurt anymore. Try channeling all that energy into just being her friend. There isn't anything you can do about what she feels." Jimin capped his words with a gentle hand on Namjoon's shoulders.

"Thank you, Jimin" Namjoon answered, accompanying his gratitude with a playful ruffle of Jimin's orange tresses.

They circled the block one more time before heading back to Adrienne's apartment where everyone save for Hoseok, Yoongi and Adrienne were passed out.

"I think it might be bedtime," Adrienne said to the pair once they were back inside.

It only took a few minutes to wake everyone up and herd them out the front door, even with Jin offering to stay and help clean and Taehyung offering to spend the night so he wouldn't have to get up. Before long they were all walking down the alleyway that lead away from Andy's apartment and headed home, except Yoongi who was still lingering around the front door.

"Did you forget something?" Adrienne asked when she noticed her front door was still open.

"No, I... wanted to ask you something."He looked uncomfortable, like he already regretted what he was bout to say.

"Okay."

"Why won't you call me oppa?"

Adrienne guffawed, thinking he was joking but she stopped once she noticed that he was seriously expecting an answer.

"I....dont know? At first, I didn't because I liked annoying you but now I guess I'm just used to saying Yoongi-ssi," Adrienne explained as she folded her arms and leaned against the door frame, "If it bothers you I'll try being more respectful-"

"It's okay, I just wondered if there was a different reason." Yoongi waved her off.

"Are you sure? I don't want to offend you."

"You're not...I like the way you say my name." Yoongi smiled and patted the top of Adrienne's head before running down the alleyway to catch up with the rest of the group who were not waiting for him.

Adrienne beamed, unsure why having him pet her like a puppy made her heart flutter so much as she closed the door behind her. She assumed she was overflowing with happiness with the thought that he might be feeling the same pull that she was. That contentment filled her with joy until she turned and laid eyes on the platters and plates of leftover food that all required her attention.

"Nope, I'm going bed."

#btsguild #bts fic #suga fic #suga scenarios #suga imagine #min yoongi fanfic #suga fluff #bngtanah #inwtb

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purplesurveys · 4 years ago

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994

Basic Information

What's your name? Name’s already posted on my Tumblr but so that nobody has to check that anymore, Robyn.

Where do you live? I live in some city east of Manila, and that’s all you need to know.

When's your birthday? April 21st.

What's your astrological sign? Taurus.

Do you actually believe in that stuff? Never did.

How old are you? 22.

Do you have a high school diploma or the equivalent? Yeah I got a diploma.

Do you have an undergraduate degree? If so, in what? Yup. I’ve graduated but I haven’t received the diploma nor did I get to walk on a stage because of the stupid virus, but I majored in journalism.

What is your favorite...

Quote? I don’t have any. My brain doesn’t really store quotes for me to go back to; I don’t find the majority of them interesting.

Color? My main favorite is pink, but I enjoy looking at pastel shades and muted colors in general too.

Song? Picking an all-time favorite song is impossible, but for now I really like putting Hayley Williams’ Why We Ever on repeat. It used to be just a sad song that I love listening to but unfortunately the lyrics have since become relatable, so now there’s a sting whenever I hear it.

Band/singer? My favorite bands are Paramore and Against Me! while my favorite solo act is Beyoncé.

Book? I never had one. I was a big bookworm as a kid, but I didn’t get to keep it up as a teenager and now as an adult. Most of the books I own today are still just the novels I had nearly a decade ago, and it’s been a struggle trying to find a genre to get into.

Author? Same situation as book.

School subject? History. A lot of the social sciences are also great – anthropology, pol sci, psychology, etc. In another universe I definitely would’ve taken up a degree in a social science instead of journalism.

Science (chemistry, biology, physics, etc.)? Biology has always been a strength of mine and a favorite. I find memorizing terms fun, and I’ve always enjoyed studying living things instead of chemicals or energy or force or any of that boring stuff.

Math (algebra, geometry, calculus, etc.)? Advanced algebra is fun. So is geometry, but only as long as you know all the formulas and theories; otherwise it’s so easy to fail it.

Language? I don’t have one. I think all languages are individually beautiful.

Operating system? Wow this is random lol. macOS, I guess. It’s what I’m using.

Instrument? I like the sound of many instruments, but in the grand scheme of things the piano has to be my absolute favorite.

Letter? I don’t pick a favorite letter.

Number? 4.

Car? I don’t know the first thing about cars but I suppose my dream car is a Mini Countryman, if that counts as a favorite. I swoon every time I see one in real life; they’re just so pretty to look at.

Pattern (polka spots, stripes, plaid, etc.)? Stripes are my cup of tea, but polka dots are also cute.

Word? The word that’s been my favorite for a while is ‘poignant.’

Animal? I love animals, but I’m biased to dogs and elephants. :)

Country? I don’t have a favorite country. That’s a pretty odd favorite but *shrug* I guess some people have theirs.

Drink (alcoholic or otherwise)? Water, milkshakes, and cocktails.

Food? Sushi, curry, cheeseburgers, and macarons. You can’t make me go with just one choice when it comes to food, my dude.

Restaurant? Yabu and Torch.

Website? I rely a lot on YouTube for my sanity these days so it’d be fair to call that my favorite, at least for the meantime.

Sport? If it counts, pro wrestling. If it doesn’t, I like playing table tennis and watching volleyball and tennis.

Flower? Peonies, roses, and sunflowers.

Ice cream flavor? Cookies and cream is a classic.

Television show? Breaking Bad is my favorite ever, but I also enjoy Friends, The Crown, and Bojack Horseman, and at one point The Walking Dead before it got honestly boring.

Shirt? I don’t really have a favorite shirt, but my favorite type to wear is anything sleeveless. I like giving my skin air to breathe, lol.

Shape? I don’t pick favorite shapes.

Eye color? Olive is beautiful.

Hair color? I’m indifferent to hair colors. Whatever suits a person.

Movie? Two for the Road and Good Will Hunting.

Gum flavor? Fruity ones.

Random Stuff About You

Do you have your drivers' license? Yeah. I had to get it as soon as I graduated high school because no one else was going to be able to bring me to school in college. I was in driving school like a week or two after marching on stage for my high school diploma haha.

Have you ever been swimming in an ocean? I don’t know if I have. In the vacations I’ve had, I don’t really keep track if I’m swimming in a sea or if I’m already in one of the oceans.

What's the last song you listened to? No clue but it was probably something by Hayley.

Do you prefer coloring pencils, crayons, or markers? Coloring pencils! I miss coloring. I just can’t see myself going back to it at the moment because I had bought a really cheap set of coloring pencils that have to be sharpened every five minutes. During my coloring phase I’m pretty sure I spent more time sharpening my pencils than actually filling in my coloring books. I’ve yet to find a replacement set with better quality.

Can you make any origami figures? If so, what? I’m terrible at origami and have always been. Even if I’m given a one-on-one session, I’ll for sure get lost early on in the process.

Do you still sleep with a stuffed animal? I never did. I always preferred pillows.

Do you get cold easily? I do haha, but I don’t mind it. I’d rather shiver or have my teeth chatter than have a pool of sweat on the back of my shirt from being too hot.

Have you ever been to a chiropractor? Nope.

Do you have great eyesight, or do you wear glasses or contacts? It’s very poor. I’ve had glasses since I was 11, but I needed them a lot earlier, like since I was 8 or 9 maybe. My mom refused to believe me when I started telling her my vision was getting worse because she legitimately thought I just wanted glasses to look like other kids. God, how shitty was that parenting? I can’t believe I just fucking let that go as a kid. My eyesight was getting increasingly blurry by the day and I stopped learning at school and her worry was that I wanted to fit in. I’m gonna get more stressed and hurt if I continue to think about this, so let’s just move on...

Do you know how to play chess? Never learned. I’ve watched my cousin play and he tried to teach me so many times, but I just never understood.

Do you know how to play checkers? At one point I think I did, but I didn’t enjoy it.

Do you like Sudoku puzzles? No. I never got the hang of that game either.

Do you like word searches? Love them.

Do you like crossword puzzles? They’re fine but the ones on our newspapers are too hard and use too many references or plays on words that I’m not able to pick up.

Do you like logic puzzles? It’s a hit or miss.

Can you play any card games? Other than solitaire, no.

Do you play board games? Hmm I played some as a kid, but I’ve always been too competitive and I’m never able to just sit down and have a friendly game so I’m not too big on board games now. I’m a lot happier sitting on the sidelines and watching my friends play because it’s more entertaining that way.

Do you do jigsaw puzzles? Not normally but I’ve been thinking of investing in one of those 1000-piece puzzles to take my mind off of things whenever I get depressed or when my mind starts to think about things it shouldn’t.

Do you listen to the same song on repeat for a long time, even occasionally? Yes. Sometimes I do it on purpose when I’m REALLY feeling a certain song at the moment; other times I don’t even realize the repeat button is turned on and I don’t notice I’ve been listening to the same song over and over.

Do you take any prescription medications on a regular basis? Nope.

Would you prefer to be too hot or too cold? I’ve said this a few questions ago, but too cold.

Do you like to swim? Sure. Being in the water calms me down instantly.

Have you ever been to a farm? I’ve probably been. I just can’t pinpoint a certain memory right now.

Do you like instrumental music? Depends on what the genre is, but I do generally prefer instrumental music when I’m working or have to focus.

Do you drink diet soda? Nope.

Do you drink soda? Andddddd nope.

Have you ever put Mentos into soda? I haven’t but I know what it does. There’s already like a million videos of other people doing it so I don’t need to do it for myself.

Have you ever combined baking soda and vinegar? No.

Did you ever make Oobleck in science class when you were a kid? We never did and I learned about oobleck from watching a Good Mythical Morning episode, not in school. But I’ve always been curious as to what the texture is because it looks so fun to touch hahaha. I’d try making it myself but idk if we ever have cornstarch at home.

Do you know any HTML? Yes. Early days of Tumblr, man. People customized their themes and text posts all the time.

Have you ever read any of Shakespeare's work? Well, yeah. I had to read four of them - one for each year in high school.

Do you write poetry? No.

Do you read? Occasionally. A lot less than I used to.

Can you throw a frisbee? Sure. My friends and I played back in high school.

Do you watch a lot of television? Eh, not really. It’s rare that I discover a TV series I’m willing to invest in; I’ve always preferred movies since they can tell me a story within 2-3 hours. Following an ongoing show is just exhausting.

Do you think that you have a good sense of humor? Humor is subjective. I could mesh well with certain people but others might not find my sense of humor funny. I don’t think either of those can determine if my sense of humor is good or not.

Are you a mean person? Well, I try not to be...I think that’s what most people strive to do.

Do you have any bruises? If so, how did you get them? I have one on my knee because a few days ago I knelt to the floor to try to look for something under my bed, and I ended up landing on the floor quite hard and it was purple in minutes lmao. It’s mostly healed now though and I can barely tell where it is.

Does the thought of public speaking make you nervous? It only does if I ultimately also have to pitch something, because I don’t consider myself persuasive at all. But if I had had something memorized or had enough practice or if it’s a topic I’m fairly knowledgable about then I don’t have much of a problem with it.

Are you afraid of heights? It doesn’t bother me as much as other things and I’ve always wanted to go to the top floor of those towers where the floor is glass lol, but like I’d absolutely piss my pants if I found myself standing on a tightrope between two really tall buildings.

So, what ARE you afraid of? Flying cockroaches, plane crashes, and fire.

Are you listening to music? No.

Has anyone ever called you 'disturbed'? I don’t think so, at least not to my face.

Have you ever been kicked out of a place? If so, where? And why? Yeah. From a McDonald’s, but it was my noisy friends’ fault. I knew they were being loud (they were playing some card game) so I just stayed at the very edge of our table, pretended not to be associated with them and waited for a customer to complain about us lol. Normally I’d speak up and tell friends if they’re being too immature, but in that friend group in particular I was the shyest and didn’t really hold a lot of influence so I didn’t have much of a choice.

Do you take a lot of these surveys? Yeah I have this entire blog dedicated to just them, and even before this account I had another survey blog.

When was the last time you fingerpainted? No idea. Kindergarten maybe? If we even ever did?

When was the last time you sent an e-mail? Yesterday afternoon.

A text message? 1 AM earlier.

Called someone on the phone? I think it was around two weeks ago.

Tripped over something? I’m sure I tripped over Kimi fairly recently, like sometime this week.

Do you like chocolate? Sure but on its own it can be too sweet for me, like the Hershey’s milk chocolate bar. I do love chocolate-flavored stuff or if it’s incorporated into other meals or snacks, like chocolate chip cookies.

How many pillows are on your bed? Right now there aren’t any because I brought the two pillows, that I do normally have on my bed, to my desk where I’m currently sitting at.

Do you have any pets? Yeah one of them is licking their balls behind me. The other one is probably playing with their toys downstairs and miraculously being quiet this morning.

Have you ever been on a horse? Yep.

Have you ever climbed a tree? I don’t think so. Most trees here have fire ants anyway.

Do you like art? Sure do.

Do you use any sort of social networking site? I mean normally yeah, but I’ve deactivated all my accounts for the meantime. Depression is a bitch. I’m no longer updated on the news nor am I familiar with the trendy memes anymore but idk, this seems to be the healthiest thing for me right now.

What time is it? 9:11 AM.

Have you ever been in a car accident? Super minor ones where the car I was in only got a paint scratch or, at worst, a dent or two.

When was the last time you felt embarrassed? Yesterday when I almost sent a message talking about a certain person to that certain person. It was nothing mean, but I was horrified nonetheless.

Did it rain today? No. I’m not sure if it will but I hope it does.

Have you ever had a poison ivy rash? No. When was the last time you felt immensely happy? LOL Do you take a multivitamin or any other supplement? We have vitamin C tablets at home but I’m so bad at taking them. What household chore do you absolutely hate? Washing rags. Not really a chore, but once they get all dirty and I have to clean them up it just feels so icky and ueughdhffgbduifhsuf Tell me something random about yourself. I’ve won a couple of spicy noodle speed eating challenges. Can you cook? No, but I’d love to learn. Do you like to be silly? I’m a little more serious than silly for the most part...but when I’m in the right mood at the right time with the right crowd, I can be silly too. What kinds of things have you wanted to be 'when you grow up'? The first was astronaut. Then I came across this interview with a veterinarian and I wanted to be one too. Lastly, a firefigher. Have you ever been on a boat? Yeah, lots of times. Sometimes it’s the only way to get to certain provinces or cities in the country so we’ve had to take boats for a few trips. Do/did you like school? For the most part, yes. I like that I made a lot of friends in school and I don’t have complaints about learning. What I hated the most about school is the scheduling, I guess. In my first school I had to wake up at 5 AM everyday to catch the school bus; and then in college I had to take several 7 AM classes and those were just the biggest, most inconvenient bitches. I also did not enjoy the concept of Catholic school. Do you have a camera? I used to have a DSLR but I’ve since handed it down to my sister since she’s taking up film. The camera on my phone works just fine. Have you ever been bitten by a tick? I don’t think so.

Have you ever seen a wild snake? I don’t really know what counts as a ‘wild’ snake but I’ve handled and held snakes before. Have you ever gone hiking in the woods? Hmm I’ve gone hiking, but not in the woods. Do you have a lot of friends? There’s a lot of people I can call friends, yes. We aren’t constantly in touch, though. All my friendships are super low-maintenance which I appreciate. Do you keep a diary/journal/blog? I have a journal and this blog where I write my thoughts and emotions down. What color are your eyes? Dark brown. Answering this yet again this week... Do you like snow? I’ve never experienced it so I can’t say. I think I would enjoy snow though. I feel that I’d be able to find comfort in it, like rain. Would you prefer to sing or dance in front of other people? Both sound awful. But I’d go with sing because at least I don’t have to move my body as much. Would you prefer to sing or dance when you're by yourself? Sing.

Can you spell really well? I’d say I can. I was really inspired by the movie Akeelah and the Bee as a kid and that made me want to be constantly good at spelling. Do you mind poor grammar? If it’s coming from a native speaker of whatever language, yeah. Like people who can only speak English but still use ‘would of’ or ‘I could care less.’ I’m more forgiving towards people who speak one language, or those who are speaking in a language they know they aren’t 100% fluent in. What's your favorite texting/IM abbreviation? I don’t have one. ‘lol’ I guess? It’s convenient. Do you wear a watch? No. Do you shop at thrift stores? Sometimes, if I find their offers interesting enough for me to want to go inside. What is your dream job? It’s pretty straightforward but it’d be nice to be able to work my way up and end up as an executive at a PR or media agency that I look up to. What is one thing that really freaks you out? Charlie Kaufman movies. Do you like bananas? They’re okay. I don’t hate bananas as aggressively as I do other fruits. Do you eat meat? Yes. Do you drink coffee? Yuh. I can go for a cup right now, actually...maybe when I finish this survey. Do you clean your computer screen often? Not often. Just every once in a while or once I start seeing too many smudges. Have you ever sneezed onto your computer screen? Probably.

Let's talk about numbers.

How many people live with you?

Four. We also have two animals.

136+95=...?

231. That’s essentially 136 + 100 - 5.

How many digits of pi do you have memorized?

Just the first five.

Can you count using binary numbers?

No. Never understood those, not interested enough to start learning.

How many states have you visited?

Zero.

How many countries?

Six. Would’ve been seven or even eight if Covid never blew up. I know my dad mentioned there were plans for us to go to Vietnam this year, and I also asked for a Thailand trip as a graduation present. Damn bat soup or whatever it was.

How many browser windows/tabs do you have open?

I have three Chrome windows in total. On the one I’m on, there are 13 tabs.

How many times have you blinked in the past minute?

I dunno, I never count that?

How many seconds are in a minute?

60.

Are you afraid of mathematics?

Calculus and trig, yeah. The other ones aren’t so bad.

What's the square root of 121? 11.

Sorry, sorry, the nightmare is over :) How about some more random questions to let you relax?

Have you ever read the webcomic xkcd?

I doubt it. I don’t think I’ve heard of it before.

Can you play an instrument?

Barely.

Can you read sheet music?

Not a chance.

What's your favorite kind of sandwich?

Monte Cristo! Omg, that sounds so good right now :( Banh mi is great too.

Do you have a bedtime?

Not strictly but I always try to get 7-8 hours of sleep on weeknights so that I’m sufficiently energized for work the next day.

Have you ever gone sledding?

No, I haven’t.

Have you ever carved a pumpkin? If so, what kind of face did you make?

Also no.

Do you ever make funny faces at yourself in the mirror?

I guess it’s happened before, but it’s not a regular occurrence.

Have you ever played the classic shaving-cream-in-the-hand prank on someone?

No.

Do you think that's a mean thing to do?

I don’t think that prank in particular is since shaving cream is harmless, but some pranks can definitely go too far which is why I’m generally not a fan of them.

Do you like cake?

Only very certain types. I can think of more cakes that I don’t like than the ones I can never get tired of.

Do you like pie?

Just savory ones, like chicken pot pie. Those are more up my alley than sweet pies, which are for the most part stuffed with a kind of fruit.

Do you like popsicles?

Sure, they’re refreshing.

Do you use the television or computer more?

Laptop.

Do you have a favorite chair to sit in?

Not really lolAre you getting tired of this survey?

It’s lengthy but I knew about it when I started this so I can’t complain about that; and the questions haven’t been annoying too so no, I wouldn’t say I’m tired of it.

Do you like to wear hats? When I have the chance to, yeah. They’re never a must for me though.

Do you wear your seatbelt in the car?

Most of the time no. Oops.

Do your shoes provide lots of arch support?

I...don’t know. I don’t really pay attention.

Do you like to go to yard sales? I haven’t gone to one since I was a kid.

Have you ever had a yard sale at your house? I don’t think we ever did.

Do you like apples? I like some apple-flavored things like juice or candy. I can’t stand the actual fruit but y’all know that by now, haha.

Do you like peanut butter? Yessssssss. I love peanut butter and any peanut butter-flavored food.

Do you like licorice? Not really. They’re not common here so I don’t seek it out.

Do you like lima beans? It doesn’t sound like something I’d enjoy.

Do you like limes? Not particularly.

What color are your bedroom walls? White.

Guess how many questions you've done. I don't know either, so just guess. Before clicking on it I saw it had 200 or so questions, so I’m guessing we’re at the 180 or 190 mark considering how many questions are left below this.

What's your favorite color to wear? I feel prettiest in dark green or maroon. Do you tell secrets when people confide in you? I’m not sure what this is supposed to be asking, but I’ll give two answers. (1) I don’t spill other people’s secrets when they confide in me, and (2) When people confide in me, sometimes I’ll be inspired to share a secret of my own too, especially if it’s relevant to their situation. If I don’t think it’s going to be helpful, I just keep it to myself. Do you listen to your music with the volume up really high? Only when I’m extremely upset or furious. Do you like to try new foods? Absolutely. How many different programs are you currently using? Like applications? Currently, I have Chrome, Viber, and Notes turned on. How many different operating systems have you used? I’ve gone through Windows XP, Windows Vista, Windows 8, and then whatever updates have been done on macOS since 2015 - I don’t really keep track of their names lol. What time is it now? 12:03 PM. Are you wearing socks? Nope. Are you comfortable with yourself? These days, no. Do you lose small things (like your car keys) often? Hah, yes. Is your mind in the gutter? No. Have you ever broken a bone? I haven’t. Are you more of an introvert or an extrovert? I’m a healthy mix of both, I’d say. Which is still a great improvement for me because I used to be an introvert all the way through. Do you read the dictionary for fun? I literally did this for a time right after watching Akeelah and the Bee and having that movie change my life. It made me want to join a shit ton of spelling bees, but my interest waned when I realized there weren’t any being held here. Tater tots or fries? Fries, only because I’ve never had the first. Do you like to wear flip flops? No. The thongs irritate my skin all the time and they always give me wounds. Are you more of an optimist or pessimist? I’m normally optimistic but it’s easier to be pessimistic nowadays. Do you like animals? Yes :) Do you like little kids? If they aren’t being a giant, rude pain in the ass. Are you a 'people person'? Yes. If I can’t satisfy everyone it bothers me. Have you ever seen a rainbow? Sure. How was your day? I haven’t cried today but I’m still sad. Otherwise, I don’t have a lot of strong feelings about this day just yet. What do you plan to do tomorrow? I don’t know yet. When was the last time you did laundry? Around two or three months ago. Have you ever played Snake? On the really old Nokia phones? For sure. Have you ever played Scrabble? Yeah. I took it up for one semester as a PE, hahaha. I also played it a lot when I was younger. Are there any television commercials that really get on your nerves? At the moment no, but this has happened many times before. Do you like scary movies? Sure. Are you itchy anywhere on your body? The left side of my forehead started to feel itchy when I read this. What's the title of the last book you read? Midnight Sun. Do you read more fiction or nonfiction books? Nonfictionnnnnnn. Are you a member of any clubs or organizations? I used to be, but now I’m an alumna because I’ve graduated college. What color is your favorite pair of socks? I don’t have a favorite pair. Do you own a lava lamp? No. Do you have anything else to say? Thanks for serving as a distraction and letting me kill some time.

#basic surveys are my least favorite surveys #but i also haven't done one in a while so...what the heck have one of them #survey #surveys

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yeoldontknow · 4 years ago

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15 questions tag game

tagged by @chillingtae to do this fun game. thank you so much bright angel!! <3 i dont think ive ever seen questions like these around here so this is fun <3

placing this under a cut because it is long !

1. It’s your birthday! What did you ask for and did you receive it?

uhm...im an old bean, and ive found that over time ive stopped asking for things necessarily and request more experiences. time spent with people matters more to me than items - i can pretty much buy things on my own if i want them. if im asking for anything id ask for money to put towards bills or savings or trips. this year i asked my parents for some money to convert to yen before i went to japan, which they gave me. of my friends, i asked if we could go for dinner and drinks which was a lovely evening <3

2. What was the last song or album you listened to?

song = Kvrt in Space by Fraunhofer Diffraction

album = 1 Billion Views by EXO-SC

3. What is your go to snack when you’re hungry or bored?

depends on my energy level. usually chips and veggies with hummus because i dont have to make anything. my ultimate snack is popcorn so i have to be careful about how often i have it because i could eat an entire trucks worth and not feel the least bit guilty.

4. What is your morning routine?

check emails. text parents. catch up on group chats. roll out of bed and wash up. feed the cat. start the day!

5. What mythical/cryptic creature would you be?

god probably some bog witch or oracle on a mountain

6. How do you interact with someone that you don’t like?

i dont. if they are interacting with me i will be polite but the conversation will be curt and brief.

7. How do you define a toxic person?

=> habits of dishonesty, manipulation, gaslighting, deflection of blame for wrong doings => reacting to criticism or conflict rather than responding => engaging or meddling or perpetuating drama simply for the attention, thrill/endorphins of it => someone who drains your energy in their company rather than heals it => inability to admit they were wrong or let situations go

8. Have you ever been to a concert or fan meet type of event? If not, would you want to?

ive been to a significant amount of concerts in my life. i love love love concert going and, before quarantine, i would list this activity as one of my favorite hobbies. while not a fan meet event, ive wound up meeting and becoming acquainted with a number of musicians - either by running into them on the street, working with them in some capacity, waiting in the queue before doors, waiting after a show, etc. i once was able to attend an after party of a show with @queenoftheimpala because i knew what a tubulum was after a band member jokingly posted about it on twitter and we started talking. one of my all time favourite bands provides ticket packages which are both a ticket to the show and an earlier event in which there are panels with therapists discussing the importance of mental health etc etc.

regarding kpop, i have not attended a fanmeet and tbh i dont think i would. the set up feels unnatural, and it is not that i want to spend hours talking with an artist but it feels very rushed and not entirely personal enough for me to express what id truly want to say. this is just my opinion. i know many fans have attended these events and have had a wonderful time. i just dont think this would suit my energy as im quite introverted and feeling rushed would make me anxious.

9. Do you believe in astrology? Why or why not?

oh for sure i do. when you research charts, planets, alignments, etc etc it can be quite revealing when it comes to personality traits, needs, expectations. while i dont believe it accounts for every single thing about a person (upbringing and societal/cultural influence matter too) it can account for the fundamentals. astrology, tarot, and light work have seen me through some extremely difficult situations in my life and reading tarot/charts has helped me understand why i feel what i feel on certain days.

10. If you had only one sense (hearing, touch, sight, etc.), what would you want?

i rely so heavily on all my senses that i just...dont even know how to pick this. i think id go with touch. taste is a sense omg you mean i cant taste food anymore? oh god. ok uh yeah im still gonna go with touch. touch helps you feel the connection with other people - hugs, hand holding. sounds have waves which you can feel on the body. the earth has texture. touch is how the body relates spatially to other and to itself so yeah i would go with touch.

11. Who is your favourite celebrity or idol?

non kpop = prince, david bowie, chris corner, maynard james keenan....mostly its women. rihanna or sabrina claudio or rosalia. women in the root of their power and sensuality. they are unforgiving in their bodied expressions and i respect them so much. they are unforgiving in their femininity.

kpop = chanyeol lmao like....unfailingly so

12. If you could talk to your favourite celebrity(s) for a limited time, what would you tell them?

for the non kpop celebrities = im usually just really supportive of women in the entertainment/arts industries so id love to just hear their stories. in this instance i dont think me saying anything is beneficial, more that its important we listen to their journies and their path to success. they have a lot to teach us. chris corner ive met several times and have had many amazing conversations with so in this instance, id just ask if hes doing well, how california is, how his dogs are, give him the update on my tattoo plans etc. for maynard...idk just cry because hes the celebrity ive loved since i was like 4 years old.

kpop = if i had the chance to talk to chanyeol i think like...id just like to talk about his music, thank him for having women as his video editors/videographers, ask his genre tastes, talk about the sheer amount of retro/nostalgia modes on the recent sc album. maybe talk about astronomy. thank him for his power and remind him to eat and that he doesnt need to master everything. achieving perfection is a pursuit of pain, all he has to achieve is happiness within himself. again, remind him to eat.

13. I’m taking you out on a date and it’s your choice. Where are we going?

oooo lets go to an arcade and for dinner. theres some really great barcades in lower manhattan and on LES we can get some amazing dumplings for really cheap and just have a night of talking, playing games, drinking. then maybe walk along the river before we catch the trains home

14. Do you like sweet or savory foods?

my sweet tooth has a limit so while i do like sweet im more into savory

15. Do you have any band merchandise or merchandise from any of your favourite artists? If so, what?

i have a lot of band tees, signed posters, albums of theirs theyve signed for me. i have some drum sticks given to me by a few bands, signed set lists. one band gave me a turntable slip cover. i have a few first press or numbered records that ive framed. i have some lightsticks from when i attended some kpop shows. ive got lots of stuff!

tagging: @yehet-me-up @queenoftheimpala @kyungseokie @jenmyeons @j-pping @yoonia @jamaisjoons @ditzymax @jiminiethot @blackberrykai @hkynm @ninibears-erigom @readyplayerhobi @imdifferentshadesofpurple @red-exo and anyone else who wants to do this. as always please only do so if youre comfortable <3

#about me #15 questions tag

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cinemavariety · 5 years ago

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Cinema Variety’s Top Favorite Films of 2019

To quote Principal Duvall from the 2004 teen comedy classic Mean Girls: “I just wanted to say that you’re all winners, and that I couldn’t be happier the year is ending” 2019 was both a super difficult year personally, but even more so, I feel as if it was one of the weakest years for cinema in recent memory. Thankfully the last few months of the year have made up for it with a surplus of absolutely incredible cinematic experiences, many of which are reflected in this year’s rankings. I present to you my favorite films of 2019. Check out my rankings from previous years by checking out the links below:

Top Picks of 2018 List Top Picks of 2017 List Top Picks of 2016 List Top Picks of 2015 List Top Picks of 2014 List Top Picks of 2013 List

Honorable Mentions: Midsommar Uncut Gems Parasite 3 From Hell The Death and Life of John F. Donavan **THIS LIST IS IN ORDER AND CONTAINS SOME MILD SPOILERS**

#16 - Ready or Not Directed by Matt Bettinelli-Olpin & Tyler Gillett

Ready or Not looked entertaining enough from the trailers, but it certainly wasn’t anything I was dying to go see. Especially in a movie theatre. However my brother convinced me to go with him and it ended up being one of the most consistently fun and entertaining theatrical experiences of 2019.

There were a lot of similar plot elements to the brilliant 2013 horror film - You’re Next (which by the way is one of my favorites). The plot is about a young girl, who grew up an orphan, marrying into an insanely wealthy family. The family has a tradition of playing a game on the wedding night, and she ends up choosing a game of hide and seek. Unbeknownst to the bride, the family is actually planning to hunt her down and murder her in order to perform some type of satanic ritual.

Horror comedies only work for me about half the time, but his film has enough graphic violence and intense situations to counterbalance all of the humor throughout. They complemented each other well and the result was a super funny and super bloody cat and mouse hunt of social classes.

#15 - Doctor Sleep Directed by Mike Flanagan

Helming the sequel to The Shining is no easy undertaking whatsoever. Kubrick’s arthouse horror masterpiece will forever remain not only one of my favorite of his films, but also as one of my favorite genre pieces in general. I was immediately relieved when I discovered that Mike Flanagan signed on to direct the adaptation of Stephen King’s sequel - Doctor Sleep.

I already knew beforehand that Doctor Sleep was more of a fantasy story than a direct horror, and also wasn’t one of the most popular of King’s works. The film ended up being a pretty epic fantasy thriller. Flanagan excels in creating his own universe while also honoring the source material, as well as paying homage to Kubrick’s film. However, it shines more when it does its own thing instead of trying to be nostalgia porn.

Most of the film worked for me, some of it didn’t. The recasting of Jack Torrance’s character left a slightly sour taste in my mouth. Ewan McGregor does a great job as the recovering Danny but it is really Rebecca Ferguson who steals the show with her villain character Rose the Hat.

Doctor Sleep proves that Flanagan has become one of the most consistent horror directors working in the industry. There’s always a pulse to be discovered in the foundations of his storytelling.

#14 - High Life Directed by Claire Denis

Claire Denis, one of the most polarizing French auteurs, debuted her first English language film in 2019 with High Life. I had the pleasure of seeing the film on a big screen, and even though I felt a little underwhelmed as an initial reaction to the finale, the film seemed to linger in my subconscious like a haunting unresolved dream. It held up even better on a re-watch, which you can view for free if you have Amazon Prime.

It’s definitely unlike any space film that I have ever seen. The premise surrounds a group of prisoners on death row who are sent to the farthest depths of space on a doomed voyage. All of the occupants are corralled by Juliette Binoche’s character, who plays some type of mad space scientist, is obsessed with collecting their semen in order to create new life in the abyss of the cosmos.

High Life is a slow burn, often minimalist film, which relies more heavily on atmosphere/score/visuals than it does on dialogue or forced plot elements. It’s bewilderingly nihilistic in how it depicts human behavior gone horribly awry. Robert Pattinson gives an understated performance and seems to provide the only glimmer of what seems to be hope by the end of the film.

#13 - Too Old to Die Young Directed by Nicolas Winding Refn

Too Old To Die Young finds the celebrated auteur, Nicolas Winding Refn, sharing his view of humanity and society at its most despicable. Hate seems to seep out of the cracks of every neon-soaked frame in the limited series. Amazon gave Refn free reigns in creating his phantasmagoria.

All of his usual motifs and creative decisions are employed in full force with Too Old To Die Young, sometimes to an almost unbearable degree unless you are a truth Refn aficionado. His long takes, infinitesimal silences between lines, neon lighting, synth score and characters belonging to a criminal underworld are all utilized to great affect within the series.

I won’t lie, I found it to be some of Refn’s most challenging work to date. There are so many aspects to be found within this series that went over my head, it is art that demands a re-watch. And while I believe that Refn’s sensibilities are best conveyed through a film medium, the limited series allows Refn to explore what he wants to convey like an artist adding layer upon layer of colors onto a blank palette.

#12 - Age Out Directed by A.J. Edwards

A.J. Edwards returned in 2019 with his sophomore directorial effort - Age Out (originally titled Friday’s Child). Edwards has served as one of many creatives who worked on the editing team of Terrence Malick’s films in the last decade. Malick’s influence on the director is quite noticeable. Edwards directed his first film in 2014, The Better Angels, which was a decent debut. Whereas The Better Angels oftentimes felt too close of a mimicry of Malick’s style, Age Out utilizes certain aspects of the style while also allowing Edwards to have his own authorial voice.

The film centers around a young man named Richie as he is about to “age out” of the foster care facility in which he was raised - a frightening reality for countless youth in America and around the world. Richie is left to navigate the difficulties of the adult world at a mere eighteen years old, without any family or parental figures to help him along the way. He makes friends with a seedy townie who revels in delinquency and causing ruckus. Also, there is a romantic subplot between Richie and a girl named Joan, portrayed tenderly by Imogen Poots. This relationship seems to be the only saving grace in Richie’s life. However, a turn of events soon reveal that Richie’s traumatic past has gotten the better of him and threatens to doom his entire future.

Edwards shoots the film in a boxed style with a 1.33 : 1 aspect ratio. This aids with the sense of claustrophobia and paranoia that invades Richie’s life. As aforementioned, many of Malick’s motifs are used here: a floating steadicam guiding the audience along, hushed dialogue, montages with classical music, and even some voice overs. However, this aesthetic isn’t heavy handed in any way. In fact, it’s a joy to see directors whose work can almost go into the Malick canon as the auteur has had such an influence on a lot of young, upcoming directors. Age Out is both a coming of age story and a cry of warning for unhealed trauma.

#11 - An Elephant Sitting Still Directed by Hu Bo

An Elephant Sitting Still now holds the spot as the longest running film that I have ever seen. It sits in at just under four hours, and it completely delivers without ever feeling like it drags on unnecessarily. The film technically premiered in 2018 and is considered a 2018 film among critic circles. However, the epic didn’t get a widespread distribution in the U.S. until this year, so I am overlooking this discrepancy. The film was marked with somewhat of a controversy after the director Hu Bo took his own life right after post production was completed. Hu Bo is an author turned director and An Elephant Sitting Still marks his first foray into cinema. It’s one of the best directorial debuts I have ever seen.

The film centers around four different characters during the span of a single day. All of these characters are marked with some sort of tragedy, and many of their stories intertwine in a synchronistic fashion. It reminded me of other masterpieces such an Inarittu’s Amores Perros or Paul Thomas Anderson’s Magnolia. The film takes place in the industrial regions of Northern China, and the barren landscapes reflect an inner emptiness that emanates from all the characters.

There is a hollowness to these people as they navigate through life. An Elephant Sitting Still is nothing short of nihilistic. It’s an angry, desperate and hauntingly beautiful cry of pain from a director who was most certainly haunted by his own inner demons. It manages to be both an odyssey of human cruelty and a swan song from a young man who didn’t see a light at the end of the tunnel.

#10 - Joker Directed by Todd Phillips

“It’s getting crazier out there, isn’t it?” These are some of the first lines to be uttered in Todd Philip’s pitch-black satire on society. These lines are what best exemplify the themes that Philip’s was pushing: our society is profoundly sick, everything seems to be getting worse, we have no saviors in sight and hope isn’t always on the horizon. Just from these first utterances, it is clear that Philips is taking all of the political and socioeconomic turmoil of the last four years and has created a problem child that is Joker.

Joaquin Phoenix turns in one of his most disturbed and flawless performances yet - which is no surprise. However, I have yet to see him embody a character so genuinely as he did in The Master. But this isn’t Paul Thomas Anderson, this is Todd Phillips. And the fact that the comedy director even created this piece of art is something that still has me scratching my head. Subtlety is never at play in the film, and there are quite a few plot points that are a little too on-the-nose, even for me. However, all of the other elements redeem it and make this one of the best films of the year. The cinematography is pleasing for the eyes, and the menacing cello scores echoes an existential loneliness that I felt permeate my very being.

The last thirty minutes are exactly what I was hoping from this film. It’s a breath of fresh air to see Hollywood actually stick to creating a nihilistic film that doesn’t once try to water itself down.

#9 - Luce Directed by Julius Onah

Director Julius Onah decided to really step up his game with his latest film Luce. After the dumpster fire that was The Cloverfield Paradox (seriously, thanks for completely ruining what was becoming a dope anthology franchise), Onah has proven that he can be a master of his craft with the proper source material. In regards to the story being told, every element of the film works to its advantage: editing, performances, direction, and most importantly - the screenplay. It’s one of most well written screenplays I have come across in 2019. I immediately could tell from the dialogue that this movie must have been adapted from a stage play, and sure enough upon searching, I found out it was. Not all stage adaptations work, in fact I’d say more than half don’t end up being too effective, but this one stuck its landing and then more.

The story revolves around an overly concerned teacher who contacts Luce’s parents after he writes a paper that comes off as threatening. The paper in question seemed to hold a sentiment in which violence was called for in order to overcome colonialism. It’s important to note that Luce was a child soldier in his native country before being adopted by his parents - played by Naomi Watts and Tim Roth who both gave stunning performances. The rest of the story is an investigation into who their son actually is, which eventually results in moral debates regarding race and identity.

Luce is also a film that effectively helps the audience empathize with the main character, while at the same time questioning whether his intentions are genuine, or a coy to hide something much darker. The truth isn’t always black and white, and this was my biggest takeaway from the movie.

#8 - Monos Directed by Alejandro Landes

Monos felt like a hybrid of elements inspired from great works such as Lord of the Flies, Aguirre: The Wrath of God and Apocalypse Now. This is only the third film to be directed by Alejandro Landes, however it looks and feels as if it was created by a seasoned veteran of the industry.

A group of children guerilla soldiers hold base on a mountaintop where they keep a hostage, watch over a prized cow, and act as a defensive force against an unbeknownst group of enemies. There is little to no exposition in the film. Landes drops the audience off right in the middle of the chaos.

We aren’t exactly sure what these children are risking their lives to fight for, or why they are doing it, but it goes to show the conditions in which they were raised for them to find normalcy in the violent lifestyle of a guerilla soldier. The landscapes are absolutely gorgeous, and there are even a few scenes where I questioned how they accomplished such shots/stunts with a low budget.

#7 - The Beach Bum Directed by Harmony Korine

The Beach Bum might not be the best film that Harmony Korine has directed (it’s certainly no Spring Breakers), but it is easily the most fun. It’s been almost seven long years since Korine’s last project, and I had been waiting in eager anticipation to see what he would do next. He was originally going to do a gangster crime drama called The Trap, which is what I was really hoping from Korine, but that fell through and he ended up making one of the best stoner comedies I have ever had the pleasure of watching.

The Beach Bum is probably Korine’s most accessible and audience-friendly film he’s ever done. I say that lightly though, because it still remains just as highly divisive as his other work. The plot is loose. It follows the misadventures and antics of Moondog, a washed up poet and complete burnout. He is soon sent to rehab for all of his illegal activities, in which he breaks out with the help of Zac Efron’s character, who might have just been my favorite character of the film. Korine seems to have a consistently solid knack to create dirty, seedy and absolutely enthralling characters.

I am really happy that he decided to keep a very similar visual aesthetic to his previous masterpiece, Spring Breakers. Benoit Debie, who is the king of neon lighting and discombobulating camerawork, does a masterful job at creating the textured and visual world of The Beach Bum. Hell, it’s probably one of the main reasons why I decided to see it twice on the big screen.

I’m not the biggest fan of comedies, mostly because I have a very bizarre sense of humor and find most of them to be completely hollow. But Korine’s darkly nihilistic sense of humor suits my sensibilities perfectly and I found myself laughing out loud at various points throughout The Beach Bum. It’s a fun, and even slightly endearing film at certain points thanks to the presence of Isla Fisher’s character as the wife. I look forward to whatever Korine decides to do next. At this point, who knows where he will decide to go with his career. I just hope I don’t have to wait another five plus years to see more of his work.

#6 - A Hidden Life Directed by Terrence Malick

Malick isn’t “back” - he never left. A Hidden Life isn’t a “return to form”. His form has always been there, it’s been evolving since The Tree of Life. In fact, the structure and flow of this film is extremely reminiscent of his past three films.

How far are you willing to walk the path of righteousness, even when the path is marred with pain and unanswered sufferings? How long are you able to cling to your faith when it feels like all hope is lost? How do you fight for what is good, when everyone around you is telling you to submit to forces of absolute evil? These are some of just many questions explored in Terrence Malick’s newest tour de force. As with many of Malick’s recent work, these aren’t questions that are necessarily outright answered during the film. They are instead questions of morality meant to be repeated throughout the story, almost like a mantra or an ode to pure faith.

A Hidden Life is Malick’s first return to chronological and narrative-driven filmmaking since The New World. It has garnered praise almost universally among critics, and is regarded as his best film in ten years since The Tree of Life. While I am in the few who don’t exactly agree that this is Malick’s best film in a decade, I might even dare say that it is among my least favorites of Malick’s recent output, I am still not denying the sublime mastery instilled in every single shot of this film.

A Hidden Life tells the noble true story of Franz Jagerstatter, an Austrian conscientious objector, who refuses to fight for the Nazis in World War II due to his religious beliefs and is eventually executed for it. He is decades later deemed a martyr by the Church - all the more telling as to why Malick decided to tackle this story. The heart of this story is told through letters that Franz and his wife Fani exchange throughout his period spent as a political prisoner. Fani seems to be one of the only people in Franz’s life who sticks by his side. No matter how soul crushing Franz’s decision is for Fani, she understands him well enough to know that death is a better option than spoiling your soul and humanity. “Better to suffer injustices than to do it,” as one character painfully states in the film. And while I wasn’t as emotionally wrecked as I thought I would be by this film, I instead feel inspired by Franz’s commitment to his innate goodness. The back and forth perspectives of Franz and Fani are well executed - we as an audience get reprieves from the dreary confines of a prison cell to the majestic grandeur of the Austrian mountainside. The mountains and surrounding nature are characters within themselves. Near the finale, as Franz is face to face with his mortality, his mind wanders back to riding his motorcycle through the village on a sunny day as the mountains loom in the background. These are the final desires of a doomed man, something as simple as having the freedom to go outside and feel the grass beneath his feet - to experience the wonders of nature that most people don’t think twice about.

As mentioned earlier, it is far from my favorite of Malick’s oeuvre, and is not without its slight misgivings. It was stated that this was Malick’s return to “narratively focused” filmmaking. But he still utilized his signature elliptical style, and for me these moods oftentimes clashed and kept me at a distance emotionally. I rarely say this with a Malick film, but more of a reliance on dialogue would have worked wonders for me. There are quite a few sequences in which Malick opted for montage instead of a more fleshed out scene, which I believe would have further added to the power of the story.

These are all slight issues, and I myself might be a harsher critic than most simply because I hold Malick to such a high standard. Once you can give yourself to the film, A Hidden Life becomes a true zen experience. It managed to instill a sense of serene presence within myself. I felt very grateful for the most basic and common details of my life and this world. Malick’s work can be such a sensorial rush, and making even mundane objects and rooms look absolutely gorgeous, that it’s as if “everything is shining” in my own life after seeing the film. I look forward to returning to The Church of Malick very soon.

#5 - Ad Astra Directed by James Gray

Ad Astra got a lot of unwarranted hate this year in my opinion. It truly is a shame because I believe that James Gray has struck gold once again. While I don’t adore it to the same degree as I did Gray’s previous feature, The Lost City of Z, Ad Astra succeeds in being one of the most understated space films made in the 21st century.

It’s not exactly a wholly original story, or a plot that is something that we haven’t seen before. It’s the way Gray goes about telling this story and exploring these themes that makes it so very special. It’s not forcing any overreaching philosophical or ethical message onto the viewer, it’s not overly complicated or overly long, and rather than trying to present completely senseless physical explanations to the audience, it just accepts the fiction aspect as “science fiction”.

Hoyte Van Hoytema is a brilliant Director of Photography and he crafts some of the most breathtaking space shots in recent memory. He really captures the breathtaking enormity of the cosmis abyss. The scenes that take place near Nepture during the finale are jaw dropping. We see two characters wrestling each other while suspended midair and the camera pulls out to reveal their absolutely terrifying ordeal while splashes of Neptune’s purple color emanates behind them. What I enjoyed most about the film is this sort of serene, zen atmosphere that Gray creates through the visuals, the score and Brad Pitt’s heartfelt but quietly somber voiceover.

Pitt portrays a lonely, broken and existentially conflicted astronaut. He finds the quiet infinitude of space to be a reprieve from the chaos of conflict happening down on Earth. He feels more at home among the stars than he does on the planet in which he was born. His perspective reminds me of the blue God from Watchmen, Doctor Manhattan, when he’s dwelling peacefully on Mars and laments his feelings toward Earth and all the people on it: “I am tired of Earth. These People. I am tired of being caught in the tangle of their lives.”

James Gray’s Ad Astra, much like his previous two films before this, detail the pains and tribulations of undaunted pioneers as they explore foreign territories. The final monologue of Pitt’s washed over me like a gentle breeze: “I will rely on those closest to me, and I will share their burders, as they share mine. I will live and love.”

#4 - Anima Directed by Paul Thomas Anderson

Interprative dance, experimental film, and visual albums are three of my absolutely favorite art forms. The real MVP of modern cinema, Paul Thomas Anderson, has collaborated with one of the real MVP’s of modern music, Thom Yorke, to create a fifteen minute long music video on the power of human connection.

Thom Yorke plays a sleepy commuter, a passive bystander, a human sheep, a functioning cog in some great machinery. He makes brief eye contact with a pretty woman on the train, and notices that she leaves behind a briefcase. The rest of the short details his efforts as he dodges through obstacle after obstacle trying to find the woman and return the briefcase to her. I couldn’t believe my eyes as Anderson concocts the innermost desires of being seen, understood, and loved. The results are strokes of flashing light projections on concrete walls, bodies undulating as they separate and conjoin simultaneously, giddy humans running through fog, and lovers meeting in the union of hearts.

The final section, Dawn Chorus, is one of the most gentle and blissful experiences I have ever witnessed, let alone one in a film distributed by Netflix. Paul Thomas Anderson and Thom Yorke’s project had me understanding why I fell in love with this medium in the first place.

#3 - 1917 Directed by Sam Mendes

1917 takes the spot as my favorite war film of the decade. Personally, I found it to be one of the best war films ever made in general. What director Sam Mendes and DOP Roger Deakins have created is nothing short of a miracle. It’s the first “single take” war film to ever be made, mainly because this is a feat that is far from easy to pull off. Mendes and Deakins shot the movie in extreme long takes, and spliced them all together to make the whole movie come off as a seamless single take. These tracking shots never leave the side of the characters, we are in their footsteps on the journey the entire time.

1917 has a pretty simple premise: two young British soldiers are given a near impossible mission to cross enemy territory and deliver a message that will stop a deadly attack on over 1,500 soldiers - one of them being the brother of one of the two soldiers sent on the mission. The familial aspect contributes added emotional gravitas to the plot overall.

1917 is more of an experiential war film than it is a action or battle focused war film. It’s best to be seen in an IMAX because the sound design and the invasive tracking shots make you feel as if you are walking along these two soldiers as they face grave perils on their quest to deliver the message. I very much so enjoyed that they kept the plot small and intimate, without resorting to constant firepower to keep the audience engaged. That isn’t too say that the movie doesn’t have more than enough of its fair share of nail biting action sequences, and also plenty of gruesome shots depicting the carnage that World War I brought. These soldiers have to army crawl over rotting corpses, while rats and crows are seen pecking and chewing through the remains. The filmmaker doesn’t turn a blind eye to the horrors that war produced. To me, this is one of many reasons why I believe 1917 is superior to other popular recent war films such as Dunkirk. I don’t want my war films to be sanitized. War needs to be portrayed as it truly is - acts of complete inhumanity.

Dare I say that 1917 is Come and See for the 21st century. While Come and See is most definitely the superior film, there were echoes of the classic Soviet Union masterpiece that ring throughout 1917. Maybe it’s the expertly crafted tracking shots, maybe it’s the maddening use of sound design/editing, or maybe it’s the shell shocked expression that is engraved on one of the main characters faces near the finale.

1917 does an amazing job of being very loud, but also utilizing silence in certain scenes to great affect. The juxtaposition is most expertly crafted during one scene that involved flares popping off in the sky, lighting up the ruins of a city, as one the characters runs away from enemy fire. It’s an absolutely exhilarating scene. I ended up bawling by the end of the movie, mostly just because of all the pent up anxiety and distress I felt throughout. You don’t see many films that take place during World War I anymore. But 1917 shows it is not a time period to be forgotten about.

#2 - The Lighthouse Directed by Robert Eggers

I had been eagerly anticipating Robert Eggers’s follow-up film after he released The VVitch back in 2016. At first it was reported that he was going to be doing an adaptation of Nosferatu, which I still think would be a great story for Egger’s to adapt, especially after witnessing what he instead decided to make - The Lighthouse.

Shot gorgeously in black & white on gritty 16mm celluloid, the film looks like it comes from a completely different era (the dialogue as well). There were many shots that had a similar look to some of Bergman’s early work on the Faroe islands.

The Lighthouse has a fairly simple plot. Robert Pattinson plays Winslow who goes to work for a seasoned lighthouse keeper named Thomas who is played by Willem Dafoe. Winslow is new to being a wickie and Thomas takes him under his wing to show him the ropes. Thomas orders him about incessantly in a brute and abusive manner.

There is a minimalism to the plot, however all of the other elements are done so perfectly that the daily grueling routines of these wickies becomes nothing short of hypnotizing. The sound design and score ratchets up the harsh conditions of the island. Wind sounds like its constantly shrieking outside - a reminder of the unease that seems to be building to an overflow. The dialogue, diction, and accents are all completely authentic to the time period and setting that the story is taking place in. Eggers commitment is second to none when it come to detail and authenticity with aspects such as the character’s accents and inflections. A real case of cabin fever befalls the two men who both seem to become obsessed with the mystical light that emanates at the top of the light house.

While I really enjoyed The VVItch, I absolutely adored The Lighthouse and find it to be a much stronger work from Eggers. I think what I vibed with most about it is that the movie doesn’t feel the need to be confined to one particular genre. Whereas The VVitch was literally about a witch bringing misery to a Puritan family, it was constricted to be somewhat of a horror film. However, The Lighthouse manages to be many different tones: a fever dream surrealist film, an arthouse horror, a slapstick comedy, and a nautical retelling of many ancient sea myths. And all of these different tones worked together and bounced off each other in perfect harmony.

I found myself both laughing and completely repulsed by the images I was seeing - especially within the last act of the film which succeeded in shaking me up and making me feel both bewildered and slightly nauseated. It ends up being a gritty, dirty, and uncompromising journey into total psychosis. By the conclusion of the film, the audience comes to the same realization as the two characters - there really was enchantment in the light after all.

#1 - Waves Directed by Trey Edward Shults

Waves is an operatic cry for people to be better to one another. It is by far my favorite film of the year, and I truly believe it to be one of the finest films ever made. It earned itself a well deserved spot in my Top 25 Favorite Films of the Decade.

Trey Edward Shults started out his cinematic career on a strong note with Krisha. He delivered once again with his sophomore debut - It Comes at Night (even if I do find it to be easily the weakest of out the three he has directed). But for me, Waves is where Shults really experiments with his style to such a fine tuned degree that we find the director not calming down his vision or becoming more “grounded”, instead he expands upon his prowess with one of the most powerful family dramas I’ve ever seen.

Shults is another director who made my list this year who is somewhat of a protege of Terrence Malick. Shults worked as an intern for Malick on both The Tree of Life and Voyage of Time. It is quite clear the influence that Malick has on Shult’s vision. But Shults, even more-so than Edwards who also made my list this year, has taken Malick’s inspiration and created something wholly his own.

Shults has created an experiential rollercoaster of actions, consequences and the toxic fallout than can come from such actions. Waves is essentially two films in one. The first half is the energetic, chaotic and traumatic first half in its depiction of toxic masculinity taken too far, to the eventual accident that changes all of the characters lives. The camera is constantly floating in this portion, or shall I even say flying through the air and around the characters. The camera has no limits in what it can do and that along with the editing, and most noticeably the insanely perfect soundtrack/score, this portion ends up feeling like one prolonged anxiety attack.

The second half of the film switches character POVs masterfully. There’s a psychedelic shift of perspective from the brother’s eyes covered in flashing lights from the back of a police car to his little sister’s eyes in the back of their parent’s car (you have to have seen the film to completely understand what I am referring to of course). This second half of the film is where the camera slows down a little. This portion is more character focused and less interested in being flashy through its aesthetic. We get more dialogue, more character details, and a lot more tears in this half. It’s like a long cathartic release after experiencing an hour of trauma and abuse. It succeeds in tearing you apart, to only slowly piece you back together.

As mentioned previously, Shults’s soundtrack decisions were the cherry on top for me. Tame Impala, Animal Collective & Tyler the Creator are three of my favorite artists and their music is utilized perfectly within the story. What made this film so special to me, other than the fact it all takes place in the state in which I grew up in, was that no other film has better reminded me of my own humanity in years. This film makes me want to be a better brother, a better friend, a better son, and a better person in general. You never know when a single moment can shatter your entire world. In the end, it left me with a strong message that struck me to my core: appreciate what you have in life, and tread carefully.

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jaehyun-eclipsed · 5 years ago

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Before I Met You | Two

Updates: Sundays and Thursdays, 8 PM EST

Pairing: NCT (Jaehyun, Lucas...) X Reader/OC

Genre: Romance, Angst, Coming of Age

Summary: Four. There were four people before I fell in love with you… Here are their stories.

Warnings: Some swearing

Before I Met You Masterlist

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On the morning of Winter Ball, Doyoung and I were running late on finishing our history presentation. To increase the anxiety, everyone else messaged me to tell me they were going to be late and I was beginning to wonder if that was a sign as to how the rest of the night was going to progress. Fortunately, we managed to make it to the restaurant within a half hour of the originally planned time.

We all admired each other’s outfits at the restaurant. I opted for a navy blue body con dress with sparkly silver heels; Doyoung looked rather casual with some black slacks, a white button-up with a tie, and a black pair of converse; Hana wore a black, lacy A-line dress with nude heels; Hyojin had a black, leopard print sheath dress and black booties; and Seungwan wore a teal blouson dress with white flats.

Luckily, despite the initial mess, we managed to have dinner and arrived at the dance right as the doors opened. Few people were there; most of them likely wouldn’t arrive for another hour.

The five of us walk into the dance hall and pick an empty table towards the back to place our belongings. The room is dark with the exception of several spotlights illuminating the dance floor and decorative candles spread out over the white-clothed tables. Hyojin and I sit down and watch the handful of people who had started to dance.

“So what are you going to do?” she asks.

I smile. “It’s not going to happen, okay? So don’t worry about it.”

“You could just ask him!”

She’s right. I could just ask him; but unfortunately, my fear overrides any risk I’m willing to take for a chance that is ultimately, really slim.

I shrug and stand up when I see Doyoung, Hana, and Seungwan heading towards the dance floor. Hyojin follows after me and we join the other three in a very awkward effort to dance – at least, it’s an awkward effort for me. My self-awareness of the lack of people around me makes my body tense as I can’t be sufficiently shielded from any onlookers seeing my poor attempt to move to the music. I’m already distracted from frequently looking towards the entrance, anticipating Lucas’s arrival. My split attention is probably making my movements even more stiff and robotic. I try to ignore it, engaging in empty laughter with my friends.

As more people arrive, the dance floor gradually becomes full. What a relief. Soon, Hana taps me on the shoulder, asking me to accompany her to the restroom to help fix her hair. As we walk into the lobby, I pause as another group walks in from the main entrance.

Lucas.

Lucas is at the front of his group of six boys with Seulgi following closely behind him. There’s a certain demeanor to them, as if they’re trying too hard to give the impression of some kind of social status within the high school realm. Lucas is holding his head a little too high and Seulgi looks as if she’s just trying to fit in by hanging onto their supposed alpha.

“Look who’s here!” Hana teases.

I press my lips together and continue walking to the restroom, my gaze focused on the floor.

I frown when I look in the mirror.

“I didn’t realize that I look like a mess,” I say, referring to my hair that had fallen from its original pinned structure.

“Just shows that you’re having fun!”

After assisting each other to look presentable again, we walk back into the lobby to find Kun and Sooyoung, two of the nominees for Winter Ball Court.

“Hey! Y/N!” Sooyoung greets as she walks up to give me a hug.

“Hey, Sooyoung. Hi, Kun.”

“Hi, Y/N,” Kun says, giving me a quick hug before taking a step back.

Hana begins to engage in small talk with Sooyoung. I stand there, appreciating the scent of Kun’s cologne before I see his eyes looking up and down my figure.

“Wow, Y/N...” He almost looks surprised. “You look really nice!”

Subtle.

“Thanks! So do you!” I say, making the effort to exchange pleasantries.

Hana and I exchange a few more words before bidding our goodbyes and rejoining our group on the dance floor. Yeri, one of Hana’s friends, taps Hana’s shoulder and joins our circle as we dance together. I look around the room, immediately spotting Lucas dancing with his friends.

Okay, so just keep an eye – oh who am I kidding? You already know this isn’t going to happen.

Yeah, but you secretly want it to happen so you’re going to keep an eye on him anyway.

Eric Nam’s “Love Song” begins to play over the loudspeaker and couples convene on the dance floor. I snap my head over to the spot where I saw the boy I was so desperate to dance with, but before I can locate him, two arms are suddenly thrown over my shoulders.

What the –

My head snaps back to see Doyoung, Seungwan, Hana, Yeri, and Hyojin rocking us in a circle with everyone’s arms around each other’s backs.

“What are we doing?” I shout in confusion.

I hesitantly put my arms around Hana’s and Seungwan’s backs and continue to rock back and forth with them. Attempts to look around to see what everyone else is doing are fruitless due to the arms strapped around my shoulders, locking me into place. I frown.

We’re doing a six person slow dance. I’m pretty sure no one else is doing this.

“Is anyone else doing this?!” I shout to everyone.

“No!” Doyoung answers cheerfully.

Okay then… this is really awkward.

A short while later, two random girls run up to our circle and ask to join us. My face grows expressionless.

Now it’s an eight person slow dance. Fantastic.

Looking over Doyoung’s shoulder, I can see two-person couples slow dancing - as one would typically expect. We were definitely the only people in this arrangement. Having realized I had no choice but to go along with it, I laugh nervously, self-conscious of the fact that everyone was likely questioning our choice. Fortunately, the song quickly ends and everyone releases their arms, laughing to each other. The two girls who joined us thank us and run off.

Hyojin turns to me. “Hey, I need to get some air. Want to come with me?”

“Sure.”

We walk into the lobby, chatting back and forth about dinner and the silly dance we just had.

“That was… odd,” I remark.

“Yeah, but it was fun!”

We walk around the lobby for a bit, deciding to sit down on the sofas and watch people having their pictures taken.

“I didn’t see him. Well, I did, but then I lost sight of him when we started dancing together,” I say.

“I’m telling you! You should just ask him!”

“He’s probably just going to dance with Seulgi.”

“So? No harm in asking. You guys are friends! Why wouldn’t he want to?”

“Because I’m a chicken.”

“Yes, but you’re a beautiful chicken,” she says. “You’re a beautiful, brave chicken that’s going to gain the confidence to ask your prince charming to dance!”

I look at her, completely deadpanned, only able to sigh and shake my head before standing up and walking away, her laughter ringing in my ears. She follows behind me as I head back to the dance hall. At the entrance, we spot Seulgi and Lucas looking at us while they stand in line to vote for Winter Ball Court.

“Hi, you guys!” Seulgi greets.

“Hey, Seulgi!” Hyojin and I say together.

“Did you guys already vote?” she asks us.

“Yeah, we voted when we got here,” Hyojin responds.

Hyojin continues chatting with Seulgi. I stand off to the side, looking back and forth between Lucas’s profile and the floor. He keeps his focus straight ahead, pretending to ignore anything that isn’t directly in front of him.

Should I say something?

I see him shift his eyes to the side, looking at me while keeping his head facing forward.

Uh… what do I say?!

Suddenly, he sticks his arm out to give me a hug.

“Hey!” he says.

Oh yeah… act like you just noticed me.

“Hi!”

“You look great!” he beams.

I feel my face getting hot and I become tongue tied.

Tell him he looks nice too!

“Thanks!” I say, unable to form any more words. I place a hand on his back and the other on his abdomen to return the side hug.

That wasn’t what you wanted to say…

“Hey, Hyojin!” Lucas greets.

“Hey! You look really nice, Lucas!” she says.

“Thanks!”

“Did you guys dance?” Seulgi asks.

“Yeah! I’m really bad at dancing though,” I admit. “But Hyojin – sometimes I look at her and I’m like, ‘How do you do that?!’”

“Yeah, I saw you! You’re a really good dancer!” Seulgi exclaims.

“Thank you!”

There’s a short pause as we all smile at each other. I suddenly feel a hand gently rest on my shoulder.

“Hey, I’ve been obsessed with that song you showed me.”

My eyes meet Lucas’s smiling face and I attempt to smile back through my nervousness.

“Oh! Nice! It’s really good, right?!”

A few days earlier, I texted Lucas a song that I thought he would like: “Call You Mine” by Jooyoung.

“Yeah! It’s so good!” he remarks.

My nervousness gets the best of me and I’m at a loss of what else to say. Time to leave.

“All right, well, we’re gonna go back to dancing,” I say. “We’ll see you later.”

“Okay, bye!” Seulgi calls.

“I guess I’ll see you later,” Lucas says.

I give a small smile and nod before Hyojin and I walk away from them. She nudges my side.

“Ooh, he’s obsessed with that song you showed him,” she teases.

“Shut up.”

We rejoin our group as salsa music starts playing over the speaker. Hyojin easily grooves to the music, stepping side to side effortlessly.

“Teach me! Teach me!” Hana calls, running up to Hyojin.

“Me too!” Yeri chimes.

The six of us form a small circle on the side of the dance floor, placing our arms behind each other’s backs as we had during our group slow dance. We attempt to imitate Hyojin’s movements, somehow managing to stay in sync. I look around the room, seeing Seulgi and Lucas at the back of the dance floor again, dancing with their group of friends.

Okay good, he’s not watching.

Returning my attention back to the group, I lose track of my steps and end up out of sync from the rest of my friends. Even though I try to focus, I end up overthinking each step such that they appear awkward and unnatural. I frown, but the dance isn’t really my priority.

When the song ends, our principal appears at the front of the stage.

“Hello everyone! How is everybody doing tonight?!” she calls into the mic.

Cheers erupt from every part of the room. Everyone slowly starts to make their way to the sides of the dance floor, forming a small aisle leading to the stage. My friends move closer to the front of the stage, behind a majority of the crowd.

“Wonderful! All right, it’s now time to announce the nominees for Winter Ball Court! Let’s all give a hand to Cho Seunghwan and Kim Jihyun!”

More cheers and clapping continue as the nominees walk down the aisle. I step away from my friends, my body feeling heavy and tired from being on my feet all night. Uninterested in the commotion, I make my way over to one of the small tables on the side of the dance floor. I lean one arm on the table and stare into the dimly lit room, only able to see brief flashes of each nominee’s face between everyone’s silhouettes as they walk past. Eventually, I turn away from the crowd and focus my attention on the glittering chandelier in the lobby just outside the entrance. My view is suddenly blocked when Lucas appears in front of me, also choosing to lean against the table.

“Hey! I saw you guys! You did good!” he commends, putting his hand up for a high-five.

Shit, he saw me.

I put my hand up to return his high-five, mumbling a quiet thanks and keeping my gaze on his shoulder to avoid making eye contact with him. An overwhelming sense of embarrassment and shyness fills me.

Hopefully he wasn’t paying too much attention to how I clearly can’t dance.

I turn my head back towards the dance floor, watching all of the nominees again.

“Hey! Let’s get closer so we can see!” Lucas says to Seulgi and Sicheng as he walks towards the center to stand beside them.

God, I looked so stupid and he just had to see me.

My eyes widen at the sudden realization and I slowly turn my head to look over at the spot twenty feet away where Lucas was with his group.

Wait a second… he saw me? But he was over… there…

I’m pulled away from my thoughts when I spot my friends standing away from the crowd, mostly chatting amongst themselves. I join them, silently watching and waiting for our principal to announce the King and Queen.

“And the Winter Ball King and Queen are…”

I search the crowd for Lucas again, barely able to spot the top of his head. The room is silent except for some chatter coming from the lobby. I feel a sudden emptiness next to me and realize that my friends had moved further back towards the table I was just leaning against. A few feet away from them, I notice that Seulgi had walked away from the crowd and sat down on the floor next to one of the tables.

“…Qian Kun and Kim Sooyoung!”

Cheers and clapping fill the room as Kun and Sooyoung are each given a crown and a sash saying, “Winter Ball Court 2015.”

“All right, everyone. We will now have our 2015 Winter Ball Court start us off for the traditional slow dance!”

The initial aisle that had been formed slowly morphs into a large circle as people move to allow the winners to start the slow dance. Hunter Hayes’ “Wanted” plays over the speakers.

“Oh my God, they play this at every dance,” I groan as I walk over to my friends.

“I know!” Hana responds.

I actually like the song. But it’s true, they play it at nearly every dance we have. I decide to make light of it and join Hana in a dramatic serenade to Hyojin.

“Cause everything that don’t make sense about me… makes sense when I’m with you!” we sing to her.

Hyojin rolls her eyes and laughs. Hana steps away from Hyojin and joins Yeri in a playful tango. My smile fades quickly when I turn my head to the right and briefly make eye contact with Lucas just as he looks away.

“Seulgi!” he calls.

Well so much for that.

“Seulgi! Come on!” he continues.

I return my attention back to my friends and remembering our silly slow dance from earlier, I begin to take steps backwards onto the dance floor, trying to signal to them to join me.

“And everything that’s green girl, it needs you!” I sing to them.

At that point, I had distanced myself several feet away from them, but no one was looking at me.

Hello? You coming?

They remain in their same spot near the tables. Hana and Yeri continue their tango with the rest of our group laughing at them.

“Seulgi! Get up!”

“No!”

I look over at Seulgi to see her in the same position on the ground with Lucas pulling her by her arms, attempting to make her stand up and dance with him. My forehead creases and my expression turns to one of confusion.

What is she doing? Why won’t she get up?

“Get up!”

“No!”

I shake my head and sigh before turning away, looking expectantly at my friends. To my disappointment, they remain engrossed in their over exaggerated singing and dancing with each other, ignoring everything else. I sigh again and just as I turn back to look at Lucas, our eyes lock as he spins around to face me. We stare at each other, our expressions emotionless.

Um…

I raise both of my eyebrows as a form of acknowledgement, though a look of concern quickly washes over my face. He remains still.

With a feeling of shyness overcoming me again, I look to my friends, gently smiling at their laughter and playfulness. They truly had no idea what was happening six feet away from them. I quickly turn back to Lucas, locking eyes with him again.

What is he doing?

I blink.

And then a realization hits me.

Uh oh, he’s going to ask you to dance.

As if he decided to bite the bullet, he shakes his head and lets out a breath. “Fuck it,” he mutters to himself before making a beeline straight towards me.

My mind draws a blank as I shift my eyes to the floor, remaining stationary. He stops in front of me, gently slipping his hand into mine. I feel his eyes intently watching my face, studying my expression for any hint of objection. My body remains frozen and I’m unable to lift my head to make eye contact with him. All I can do is continue to fixate on the spot on the floor.

After a moment, he gently leads me towards the front of the dance floor. I stare at our intertwined hands.

Well this wasn’t supposed to happen in real life.

He stops near the front of the stage and turns around to face me, wrapping his arms around my waist and clasping his hands together on my lower back. I put my arms on his shoulders, but still can’t bring myself to look at him, choosing instead to stare at his bow tie.

Don’t look at him. Just don’t look at him. Oh my God, what is happening?

“Put your arms around my neck.”

What?

“What?” I ask, knowing perfectly well what he just said.

“Put your arms around my neck,” he says again.

I manage to turn my head several degrees and stare at my left arm, slowly moving it behind his neck. My right arm, seemingly unable to function properly, remains on his shoulder in its original position. My eyes widen in surprise, realizing that putting my arm around his neck causes me to take a step closer to him, leaving but a mere inch between our bodies.

Without thinking, I place my head against his chest.

“Yeah, like that,” he says softly.

He gently guides me, taking small steps, rotating us in a small circle.

“Have you ever slow danced?” he asks.

“Uh… no…” I stutter.

At least now he knows why I seem like I don’t know what I’m doing.

He smells nice.

“You smell really good,” I say, in a flux.

He lowers his ear closer to my face. “What?”

I chuckle nervously and attempt to raise my voice to be heard over the music. “You smell really nice.”

“Aww,” he coos.

Smooth, Y/N, smooth.

After several moments, he begins to speak again.

“Hey, did you know that ‘Call You Mine’ song is actually a cover?”

“No, I didn’t.”

“Did you go to Winter Ball last year?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

Why are you asking so many questions?

I blink several times, unable to form a proper thought. “I don’t know…”

We continue our rotations with him occasionally giving me reassurance that I was doing well.

“You’re doing good!”

I remain silent, still in disbelief that this was even happening. I’ve lost most of my ability to have any coherent thoughts, choosing instead to enjoy the dreamlike moment – it was truly unexpected.

I smile when he turns us and I catch my friends’ frequent glances; they’re giggling and whispering amongst one another.

Doyoung suddenly moves into my line of sight.

Is that…?

He and Heejin are holding each other in the traditional ballroom dance position, smiling and singing to each other as they dance amongst the other couples.

He’s slow dancing with Heejin?

“So this is slow dancing…” Lucas murmurs, interrupting my thoughts.

I smile, attempting to stifle a laugh of amusement. Shh, Lucas, stop talking.

“Yeah, I kind of figured…”

“What?” he asks, lowering his head.

“I kind of figured,” I say again with a chuckle.

We’re so close to each other.

This is nice.

I like being here.

I feel safe.

Unfortunately, I’m not always graceful. My eyes widen when my foot slips and I nearly stumble, my thigh brushing against his lower body.

Shit. Don’t do that.

He removes one of his hands from my waist to readjust his glasses. Without regaining control, my foot slips again and my thigh brushes against the same spot.

Fuck! You just did it again! The first time is an accident, but the second time isn’t an accident! Which then makes the first time not an accident!

I quickly move my foot back in place, mentally cursing myself again.

Just enjoy this, you’ll be fine. It pretty much doesn’t get better than this.

It’s hard to comprehend what’s really happening. This was only supposed to happen in a fantasy and somehow, it’s happening in real time. Yet, it’s even more direct and shocking that what I had imagined for myself.

My first slow dance is with the first guy I’ve really ever liked.

The song ends and we release each other. I remain facing the front of the stage as Lucas walks around me, choosing to stand behind me.

“Aww…” he remarks, almost sounding disappointed that the dance ended.

I spin around to meet Lucas’s smiling face. Slightly embarrassed and still in shock, I attempt to return a small smile. We continue like this for several moments before he begins to compliment me.

“You did good!”

“Thanks…” I mumble.

He put his hand up for a high-five for the second time that night.

Seriously? Another high-five? After that?

I gently press my palm against his, letting my hand linger longer than a standard high-five. He puts his arm around me for a small hug that I quickly return.

That’s better.

“I’m going to go find Yang Yang and Sicheng,” he says, turning away from me.

“What?” I call after him.

Don’t go.

He turns around to face me again, lightly placing his hand on my bare shoulder.

“I’m going to go find Yang Yang and Sicheng,” he repeats.

“Oh, okay!” I say, trying to avoid sounding disappointed.

I watch him as he walks over to Yang Yang and Sicheng who were making their way back onto the dance floor. Stunned, I slowly return to Hana, Seungwan, Hyojin, and Yeri who start grabbing onto my arms and squealing in excitement. I filter them out, closely watching Lucas talking to his friends, but quickly look away when Lucas glances at me.

“You guys were so cute together!” Hyojin exclaims.

I gawk at her, my ability to speak still absent. A new song starts to play and my friends start dancing to the music again. I figure that I ought to at least try to act like everything is normal and that I didn’t just get completely swept off my feet by Lucas Wong. My natural state was emotionless – I wasn’t keen on having people know what I was feeling at any given time and particularly now, I didn’t want it to be so obvious to everyone that may have seen us that Lucas clearly has an effect on me. But I knew I was failing miserably.

Honestly, this whole dance was just a series of endless opportunities for me to make a fool out of myself when attempting to dance with my friends because if it wasn’t clear, I can’t dance. And especially now, I can’t concentrate on anything except for the event that just took place.

Doyoung rejoins us after a short moment and accompanies Hana and Hyojin in another salsa-type dance.

Throughout the rest of the night, I notice Lucas frequently take quick glances at me. I watch him dance with Yang Yang, Sicheng, and Seulgi, the latter who had finally joined them again after her bout of stubbornness.

I don’t get it. What was that?

Feeling confused and distracted by Lucas’s actions, I suddenly stop dancing and stand motionless.

“I’m getting kind of tired,” I say to Hyojin.

“Really? The dance is almost over,” she replies.

My feet are tired from wearing heels all night and continuing anything else physical feels tedious. I’m not in the right head space anyway, as the dance truly is the least of my concerns at the present moment. I know I’ve said that since the beginning, but it really couldn’t be more accurate now – my expectations constantly being exceeded and reevaluated every hour.

“I’m going to go stand over there,” I say, gesturing over to a table I had leaned against earlier. Hyojin joins me a short time later.

The dance music transitions to One Direction’s “Little Things.”

“All right, everyone, this is our last dance of the night! Thank you!” the DJ calls into the microphone.

My heart leaps as I frantically scan the crowd, searching for Lucas in hope of another dance.

Will he come over to me again?

I spot him ten feet away as he steps to the side, looking through the heads in the crowd in an attempt to find me. We make eye contact right as Seulgi turns around and throws her arms around his neck.

Goddammit, Seulgi. You didn’t want to dance with him before and now you want to?

I sigh and try to avoid blatantly sulking, but I can’t help but divert my gaze to the ground, feeling my heart sink.

“Did you see that?” Hyojin asks.

“See what?”

“He just looked at you like he was going to come over here!”

“Yeah…”

“But then Seulgi grabbed him,” she says bitterly.

“Let’s go…” I say to her, my disappointment nearly becoming palpable.

Well this sucks. But I guess I got the one dance I wanted. That’s more than I really could have wished for.

Seungwan is already sitting down at the table when Hyojin and I walk over.

“You didn’t want to ask Doyoung to dance?” I ask Seungwan.

“I thought about it,” she says solemnly, “but I decided not to.”

“Was he dancing with Heejin?”

“Yeah…”

My eyebrow raises in curiosity.

That’s odd…

“Did he ask her?” I ask.

“No, she came over to him and grabbed his hand.”

Huh.

“Oh, so she likes him,” I say matter-of-factly.

She sighs. “I guess…”

We sit there for the remainder of the song, my eyes occasionally wandering over to the dance floor, trying to make out the identities of the dark figures.

“Hey, guys! Let’s take a picture!” Hyojin calls.

“Do you want me to take the picture for you guys?”

We all turn to see Heejin standing next to our table.

When did she get here?

“Sure!” Doyoung says and hands her his phone.

Hana, Hyojin, Doyoung, Seungwan, and I stand up and position ourselves to take several photos together. Heejin walks up to Doyoung to give him back his phone. She smiles, remarking on how well the photos turned out as Doyoung flips through them. I smirk, indulging in a private joke before turning my attention back to the dance floor when the lights come on.

She definitely likes him. I bet she wants a picture with him. Gosh, Doyoung, you’d have no problem finding girlfriend.

Everyone starts walking back to their tables to gather their belongings and leave. Goodbyes can be heard throughout the room as people exchange hugs and take quick photos to commemorate the night. I spot Lucas standing by himself at his table.

Hyojin nudges me. “You should go say goodbye.”

I cringe. “I’m scared!”

Should I go up to him? Oh hey, there’s –

“Seulgi!” I call, pretending to be excited to see her.

“Hey guys!” she greets with a smile.

From my periphery, I see Lucas look over at us. I feel my anxiety increase when he starts to walk over to stand next to Seulgi.

Oh no…

“Hey!”

“Hi!” I return nervously, avoiding eye contact.

“You did great!” he says cheerfully.

Oh my God. Seulgi is right here and you’ve said that like twenty times already.

“Thanks…” I say hesitantly, staring at the space on the floor in between Seulgi and Lucas.

Lucas reaches over to give me a side hug.

“I’ll see you on Monday, okay?”

My body freezes and I suddenly want to scream at myself for making my reactions so indicative of the fact that I like Lucas. I avoid making eye contact with Seulgi even though I can feel her staring at me. I did not want her to know how I felt and I certainly didn’t care for her to have ill feelings towards me because she might think I’m trying to steal the guy she uses for attention - even though that’s exactly what I wanted to do.

“Okay!” I say, breathlessly.

He releases me and the four of us exchange smiles before heading off in opposite directions.

“Hey, do you guys wanna go get milkshakes?” Doyoung asks from behind us.

“Sure,” everyone says simultaneously.

We walk to a restaurant downstairs and Doyoung, Hana, and Seungwan all order milkshakes. The events of tonight play like a broken record in my head, leaving me too stunned to have much of an appetite. My fatigue is fighting against my shock, increasing my mental exhaustion. The girls stare at me, smug looks on all of their faces. Doyoung checks his phone, flipping through our group photos, oblivious to the amusement being exchanged over the table.

My phone buzzes and I check it to see a text from Hyojin.

Hyojin [10:48 PM] He definitely looked at you right before that last dance. There’s no way he doesn’t like you.

Logic told me that Hyojin was likely right. However, my emotions never failed to supply the doubt. Oh well. This was an issue for tomorrow morning.

I pull off my shoes in Doyoung’s car and I suddenly remember Seungwan’s comment about Heejin.

“Well that was fun,” I remark.

“Yeah!”

“Did you dance with Heejin?” I ask, even though I already know the answer. I just want to hear it directly from him.

“Yeah.”

“Did you ask her?”

“No, she came over to me and grabbed my hand. I didn’t really want to, but she wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer.”

I laugh. “You know that she likes you, right?”

He shrugs. “Whatever.”

When I arrive home, I go to my room to take off my sweater and remove all of the bobby pins from my hair before going into the kitchen to greet my dad.

“So how was it?” he asks.

“It was fun! But uh… something happened.”

“What?”

“Well… I slow danced with someone.”

“Who?”

“Uh, Lucas came up to me and grabbed my hand to dance. And I might have… I don’t know… brushed up against his pants several times.”

He bursts into laughter.

“This isn’t funny! I didn’t know what to do!” I say frantically.

“No, it’s pretty funny,” he says in between laughs.

“You know, you really do look nice in that dress,” he says.

“I know! Kun and Lucas both complimented me!” I respond excitedly. “Actually, Kun did not hide the fact that he was checking me out.”

My dad and I have a very close relationship. Though it was weird to everyone else, I was very comfortable telling him about most things, including my boy problems.

“So what do you think about Lucas?” I ask.

“He probably has something for you. You don’t just do that if you don’t like the person.”

“You wouldn’t go up and grab someone to dance just because?”

“No, it’s scary! I wanted to ask one girl at a high school dance, but I chickened out. It’s very scary.”

“Yeah, he and I stood there staring at each other for a little while before he came up to me and grabbed my hand and pulled me away.”

“See, that’s very bold. That’s a gut reaction where you have to decide, ‘Okay! I’m going to do it!’”

Maybe he’ll ask me to prom.

“He kept glancing at me throughout the dance and then at the very end, they had the last slow dance and he stepped out to the side to look at me. But then Seulgi grabbed him and they danced together. Do you think he wanted to dance with me?”

“Probably.”

Stupid, Seulgi.

I fell asleep that night listening to “Wanted.”

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