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incorrectbandofbrothersquotes · 3 years ago

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You Better, You Better, You Bet - Chapter 9

As Long as You’re Mine

Ron Speirs x Juliet Fletcher

Summary: Juliet Fletcher reaches a breaking point in her life. When she is at her absolute lowest, she meets Ron Speirs, and something happens between them that neither of them will ever forget.

Word Count: 4.1K

Tag List: @vintagelavenderskies @how-are-those-nuts-sarge @iilovemusic12us @hesbuckcompton-baby @tvserie-s-world @whovian45810 @50svibes @cagzzz107 @evelynshelby @piano-isnt-my-forte If you’d like to be added, let me know!

A/N: Hope you guys enjoy this update!

Warning(s): None :)

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8

AO3 link

Chapter 9 let’s go!!!

“Okay, how does this sound?” Juliet asked Ron, who sat on her bed as she put together her story of the trial. He was careful not to recline, lest he disturb her pages of notes carefully organized atop the quilt. “Meredith Fisher confessed to the murder of six-year-old Peggy Lee in front of the courtroom before her trial began. Mrs. Fisher was arrested and charged with the murder in September of last year. Her lawyer, Mr. Harvey Cooper, originally planned to plead not guilty, but in a shocking turn of events, Mrs. Fisher herself admitted to the jury she killed Peggy Lee before even opening arguments could be made.”

“I’d read that,” Ron replied.

Juliet huffed and looked around her room at the Blue Boar. Papers littered the floor, pens were nowhere to be found, and her typewriter was mocking her. Now that the trial was finished - with such a dramatic twist - she was hard at work, trying to ensure she reported it just right. An impossible task, it felt like.

“Okay, but would you read it because I’m your girlfriend or because of the writing?” she asked.

“The writing,” he told her. “It’s simple, it explains everything.”

“It feels a bit long for the lead,” she said. “Perhaps I should put the bit about her arrest in the nut graph.”

“That does feel more like background information,” he agreed.

She pulled a pencil from behind her ear, scratched out the sentence, and began again. “So, it’d go like this - Meredith Fisher confessed to the murder of six-year-old Peggy Lee in front of the courtroom before her trial began. Her lawyer - I’m gonna take out his name and have that later - so, Her lawyer originally planned to plead not guilty, but in a shocking turn of events, Mrs. Fisher admitted to the jury she killed Peggy Lee before even opening arguments could be made. Then I’ll go into when she was arrested, the details of the murder, then the evidence the prosecution had prepared, and finish with her sentencing date. How’s that?”

“I think it’s perfect,” he said.

She chewed her lip. “Should I use the word shocking? I don’t want to tell the readers how to feel.”

“When she confessed, what was the first thing you heard?” he asked.

“Gasps,” she answered.

“There’s your shock,” he said.

Juliet had to concede that point. Ron almost didn’t believe her when she told him the story. The judge had barely gotten the words “How do you plead?” out before Meredith let out a wail like wounded animal and confessed to the whole gruesome thing. She sobbed that she was sorry, but she knew she had to be punished. She wasn’t safe. And truthfully, Juliet felt bad for her. It was truly one of the most pitiful things she’d ever witnessed.

But the one thing Juliet could never forget, the image that would stick with her for all her days, was the look on Peggy Lee’s parents’ faces. The Lees watched, dignified, proud, yet misty eyed as the person who killed their daughter begged for mercy. Their grief was profoundly felt, despite their stately manner. They said nothing. They did nothing. And they spoke to no one upon their exit from the courtroom.

“Jules?”

Ron’s voice brought her back to the present, his hand on her shoulder making her turn to look at him.

“Sorry,” she said, shaking her head. “Just...it’s so unfair. If anyone had a right to be screaming and crying it was the parents.”

“They must be very English,” he said.

“Oh, they were proper English,” she agreed. “Stiff upper lips and all. The mother did at one point hide her face in the father’s arm, but other than that, they were stoic.”

“Thinking about including that in your story?” he wondered.

“God, no,” she replied. “I’ll mention that they were there and offered no comments, but this isn’t that kind of article.”

“Just the facts, huh?”

“As usual.”

“Juliet.”

“Yeah?”

“The article’s gonna be great,” he said.

“How can you be so sure?” she asked.

“Because you care this much,” he said. He accentuated the point with a kiss to the top of her head. “I’ve got a staff meeting. Are you alright here?”

She nodded. “Yeah, I’m fine. Thanks for being so patient with me.”

He kissed her again. “I’ll see you tonight.”

“See you later, Ron,” she returned.

With that, he left. Juliet started trying to condense the lead again, still feeling like it was too long. There had to be a better summary. But it was a lot to try and fit into one sentence, so she resigned herself to making it more than one line. She hadn’t chosen a headline yet, either, but she usually liked to write the article first. That way she could pick out the singular most newsworthy part and headline with that. As she organized further, the phone rang.

“Hello?” she answered.

“Juliet, it’s Lottie.”

“Hey, Lottie, how are you?” Juliet asked.

“Fine, same as usual,” Lottie returned. “Otis just rang and told me about the trial. I hope you’re hard at work.”

“Absolutely,” Juliet assured her. “I’ve nearly got the lead down. I’ve just got to get the facts organized. I’m thinking of doing a follow up story about the shortcomings of Operation Pied Piper, since Cooper’s little tidbit did prove to be true.”

Sad as it was, Harvey Cooper was right. There was no process for vetting the families agreeing to take the children. The committee had been in such a hurry to evacuate, they had not even considered that some children could end up in more danger than they were at home in the cities. Juliet found the whole thing fascinating, and it could open up a conversation about war time protocol - be meticulous or swift?

“I think that’ll be fine,” Lottie said. “But have you gotten any war news? I know I wasn’t enthusiastic about it initially, but you’re the only reporter I’ve got with the Airborne.”

Juliet bit her lip. While the prospect of war news had originally driven her to accept the Peggy Lee story, she found herself conflicted about it now. Her relationship with Ron threw a wrench in it.

“I think it’s a conflict of interest for me to cover the Airborne,” she said.

She could practically hear Lottie’s eyes roll. “Oh, come on, Juliet, don’t be absurd.”

“It isn’t right, Lottie!” Juliet insisted. “I’m in an intimate relationship with one of the soldiers, there’s no freeing me from bias there.”

“You could use it to your advantage,” Lottie said. “Obviously, you can’t use him as a source, but couldn’t he lead you to the right person?”

“I can’t ask that of him,” Juliet said. “I don’t want him to get the wrong idea.”

“What wrong idea?”

It was something Juliet had already put a lot of thought into. As badly as she wanted to cover the war - and it did seem like things were ramping up even more in Aldbourne - she was hesitant. She had actually considered asking Ron for a source and then immediately hated herself for it. She would not use her relationship to get ahead in her job. She couldn’t. It just wasn’t right, simple as that.

“That I’m using him,” Juliet explained. “If I ask him to get me a source, he might worry that it’s the reason I entered the relationship, and that’s not the case.”

Lottie sighed. “So, you just want to give up on covering the war?”

“I didn’t say that,” Juliet returned. “I’d be happy to cover something else once I get back to London, but-”

“Forget it,” Lottie cut across her. “Just focus on the trial for now and then Pied Piper, if that’s what you want.”

“Lottie -”

“Good afternoon, Juliet,” Lottie said harshly, hanging up before Juliet could protest any further.

She sighed, hanging up as well, and sitting back in her chair. She had a feeling the conversation wasn’t quite over, but she’d hear more about it on her next trip home. For now, she wanted to focus on what happened at the trial. The sentencing would be in another few weeks, so she needed to get this done.

***

Ron was right of course. The article was published and the London Pursuit sold the most copies it had in years. It surprised Juliet a little, but perhaps people were tired of war news and what better than a dramatic murder trial for a change of pace? It was morbid, sure, but Juliet knew she’d handled it as well as she could.

Lottie called, absolutely elated by the circulation numbers. And honestly, Juliet was thrilled too. She found Ron later that day and leapt into his arms as a display of her unmitigated excitement. She’d done it, and done it well! It was cause for celebration. So they went to London for the weekend - staying with Nancy of course, since she would have had a fit at missing an opportunity to see Ron - and they went to a nice dinner, champagne and everything. Juliet could hardly believe her luck. Everything was going so perfectly.

And that night, as they lay together in the afterglow, she looked at his face and knew she loved him. The kind of love she read about in books and poetry. The kind that crooners sang about on the radio. She’d found it. It was scary enough to admit to herself, but she determined that she would - one day soon if the opportunity presented itself - admit it to him.

He caught her gazing at him.

“What is it?” he asked.

“Nothing,” she replied. “I’m just happy you’re mine.”

***

The sentencing hearing was not as interesting as the trial itself, but Juliet was relieved to report that Meredith Fisher was going to prison for life. There would be no chance for parole, either. So justice was served.

However, Juliet couldn’t help but notice the look on Mr. Lee’s face. Mrs. Lee had not come for the sentencing, so it was just father. When the judge announced Meredith’s fate, Mr. Lee only closed his eyes and let out a long breath. He nodded, put a hand over his heart, and inhaled again. A single tear rolled down his cheek. It made Juliet look away so that he could have that moment for himself. To take in whatever feelings came to him. To remember Peggy and take some solace in that her killer was going away.

“I thought I’d be happier,” Juliet told Ron as they prepared for bed that night back at the Blue Boar. “But it still just feels...rotten.”

“Nothing can bring the girl back,” he said matter-of-factly.

“I know,” she replied. “But I just....I suppose you’re right. What else could anyone have hoped for in this situation?”

“Right,” he agreed.

“I’m also grateful we didn’t have to hear that lawyer make that ridiculous argument in a courtroom,” she said. “I don’t think I could bear the looks on the parents’ faces at that.”

“That would have been awful,” he said.

“Even so, it feels rather anticlimactic,” she said. “Especially for the prosecution who spent months putting everything together.”

“They still got the result they wanted,” he pointed out. “So what does it matter?

She shrugged at that. She still felt unsatisfied, as if there was something more to be done. Even though logically, she knew there wasn’t. She would write an update for the paper, and that would really be the end of it. That was when it hit her. What was really upsetting her was that now that this was over, there was no more reason for her to be in Aldbourne. Especially now that she didn’t want to cover the Airborne. It meant that she would go home to London, in turn reducing her time with Ron significantly. And that was a dreadful thought.

***

“What do you mean you aren’t coming back to London?” Lottie cried through the phone. “What about the Pied Piper story?”

“I reckon it can wait,” Juliet said, entirely unconvincing, but she hoped Lottie was buying it. Her reasons for remaining in Aldbourne had nothing to do with her job and everything to do with the man she was in love with. “And maybe with some time, I can find my own sources on war news.”

Lottie remained silent for several minutes. “So, you’ve just changed your mind all of a sudden about covering the Airborne?”

“Not completely,” Juliet lied. “I...I’m just not sure I’m quite finished here. And what if there’s something else about the Peggy Lee story that comes up? I could -”

“Give it a rest, Juliet,” Lottie groaned. “I know you want to stay for your boyfriend.”

“That’s not -”

Lottie cut across her protests. “Please do not insult my intelligence by suggesting otherwise. You want to be near him.”

“You don’t sound quite as sympathetic as I hoped,” Juliet said, giving in.

“You have a life in London, Juliet!” Lottie reminded her harshly. “You have a job to do, your mother is here, and you want to put everything on hold for some man?”

“He’s not just some man!” Juliet argued indignantly. “He’s...different from any man I’ve ever known. And what we have means more to me than anything I’ve ever known.”

She glanced down at the necklace that sparkled against her skin. A constant reminder of how much she meant to him as well.

“Oh, come off of your cloud, will you?” Lottie snapped.

“Lottie,” Juliet said seriously. “The whole time I was with Arthur, did you ever know me to put him before work? Or my family?”

“No, so why is this Ron fellow -”

“Because it is different,” Juliet emphasized. “This is it, Lottie. He’s the one.”

That seemed to stump her. “Has he...proposed?”

“No, he hasn’t,” Juliet said. “I don’t even care if he does.”

Lottie scoffed. “Don’t be ridiculous, you can’t just carry on living in sin.”

Juliet rolled her eyes. “Could you please pay attention to what's important here? There’s a man in my life who I genuinely see a happy future with and I just...I want to focus on that. Is that so wrong?”

“I suppose not,” Lottie sighed, and Juliet inwardly celebrated a moment of victory. “But I can’t pay you if you aren’t working. At least be making the proper phone calls to follow this Pied Piper story. Conduct interviews of other families there who have taken in children from the cities. Part of the story is there if you know where to look.”

“No problem,” Juliet said. “You’ll be glad to know I’ve already begun. I’ve got an interview with the Barnes family next week, who are housing a little girl. I’ll ask them about how the process went for them.”

“Perfect,” Lottie said. She paused for a beat. “And, Juliet?”

“Yes?”

“I really am happy for you.”

Juliet smiled softly. “Thank you, Lottie.”

***

Spring fully thawed the winter out by the time April arrived. Aldbourne was rather charming in bloom. But Juliet wasn’t sure if it was the flowers or that she was in love. She found herself humming a lot more than she used to - these days she didn’t even need food to start a merry tune in the back of her throat. She had more energy, despite spending rather long nights in Ron’s arms. And she found her enthusiasm for work - even though her priority shifted - a great deal easier to come by as well.

The interview with the Barnes family went splendidly. They were also housing a couple of lieutenants from the Airborne, though they were not in Ron’s company. Juliet only exchanged brief greetings with them, as they were heading to work just as she was entering the house. She nearly melted at the connection they had formed with the girl - Ann - which was clear in their goodbyes to her for the day. She seemed particularly close to the tall redhead.

Juliet told Ron about it that evening over drinks.

“Yeah, that’s Winters and Welsh,” he told her. “Good officers.”

“Do they spend much time here?” she wondered, indicating the Blue Boar.

“Welsh does, but Winters doesn’t drink,” he said. “He spends most nights there with the family.”

“I can tell,” she said. “I mean, it was seriously precious. She hugged his knees and he patted her on the head and I think I fell a little bit in love with him for a moment.”

He scoffed. “Good luck, I think he has a girlfriend.”

“Has he?” she questioned.

“Yeah, the nurse,” he said. “She works for the regiment.”

“You lot have your own nurse?”

“She’s got some connection to Colonel Sink,” he said with a shrug. “I’ve never actually met her.”

“And what about the other chap?” she asked. “Welsh?”

“He’s engaged,” he told her. “Her name’s Kitty.”

“You know that but not the name of the nurse?” she questioned.

“I only know because Harry never shuts up about her,” he said. “The whole regiment knows at this point. Hell, I wouldn’t be surprised if the Krauts knew.”

She giggled. “I think that’s sweet.”

“It’s obnoxious.”

“You mean, you don’t brag about me to the whole regiment?” she teased. “Romance is dead.”

“Sorry for your loss,” he retorted as he took a swig of his drink.

“Not as sorry as I am,” she returned. “Now I’ll have to spend God knows how many hours in mourning.”

“At least you look good in black,” he said.

“My saving grace,” she agreed with a smile. She paused for a beat. “Seriously, you don’t talk about me at all?”

“I do if you come up,” he told her.

“And what do you say?” she wondered.

“Whatever’s relevant,” he said.

She rolled her eyes. “You’re impossible.”

“I prefer not to broadcast my personal life,” he said. “All they need to know is that you’re mine.”

She smiled as she leaned over to kiss his cheek. “That’s true.”

***

April was drawing to a close. Juliet stood in her room, preparing to go and interview another Aldbourne family about their process in fostering a child from London. These interviews were restoring the bit of faith she’d lost in covering Peggy’s story because most of the families were very kind, and doted on the children. They were proud of doing what they could to ensure the future of England. And the children were mostly happy. What happened to Peggy was a tragedy and an outlier.

She was just getting ready to leave when Ron entered her room. A grim shadow of doubt on his features made her smile disappear as fast as it had come. Something was wrong. He definitely had bad news.

“We’re moving out,” he told her.

She had expected this at some point, but she still blinked in surprise. Her shoulders drooped as the reality of it percolated through her.

“Oh,” she said. “Well...when?”

He hesitated. “This is off the record -”

She scowled at him, momentarily offended that he felt the need to clarify.

“Everything between us is protected, Ron,” she said sharply. “You and I are always off the record unless stated otherwise.”

“Sorry,” he said quickly, picking up on her tone. “I know that, I just -”

“When?” she demanded again.

“End of May,” he said. “I don’t know when we’ll be back.”

The if hung in the air, but remained unsaid. This was it. The moment she had been dreading since she met him. Well, maybe not that long, but since they had started getting to know each other there in Aldbourne. The war was taking him from her, like it took everything.

“I see…” she trailed off, her annoyance easing up. That was sooner than she had hoped and she didn’t want to waste any precious time being angry at him. “Um...where - wait, I can’t ask you that.” She bit her lip. “When - oh, no, you’ve just told me, that’s right -”

“Juliet.”

“Yes?”

“Wait for me.”

Once again, Ron failed to disappoint her. Despite all the reassurance, she worried that when they shipped out, he would take the opportunity to break it off with her. Instead, he was asking - in his way - for a commitment from her. She held his gaze for a long moment, waiting for him to say more. But he didn’t.

“You really want to stay together?” she asked.

“Yes,” he said assuredly.

“Oh, thank God,” she sighed, and she threw herself into his arms for a kiss.

He returned the kiss with enthusiasm, his lips fiery and desperate against hers. As if he were leaving the following morning instead of a couple of weeks. But Juliet wanted the intensity. She wanted to savor every touch, every kiss, every moment she had before he was gone. She also wanted to let him know that she absolutely would wait for him. She would do anything he asked of her. She just wanted him. Forever, if possible. And if the war robbed her of that, she would at least have the memories of kisses like these. Of nights in his arms. Of his unwavering dedication to her.

***

The arrangements were made for Juliet to return to London once Ron and the rest of the Airborne were off. On his final morning in Aldbourne, they of course made love again, only it was the after that they relished even more. Juliet etched into her brain the feeling of his embrace, the warmth of his skin, the sound of his voice. She wished desperately that she could freeze time and hold onto him for just a little longer. She had found something so wonderful and now it was being dragged away from her.

“Jules,” he said, voice low as if there might be someone listening on the other side of the door.

“Yeah?”

“We’re going to France,” he said.

She blinked and adjusted her position so she could look him in the face. “France?”

He nodded. “I wanted you to know.”

She couldn’t explain why that felt more intimate than anything they had just done in her bed.

“Why tell me now?” she asked, curious.

He swallowed, his eyes fixed on the ceiling, but his arm gave her shoulders a squeeze.

“Trust,” he said.

She pressed her lips tenderly to his chest to let him know how much she appreciated his trust. There was no longer a need to specify on or off the record. His statements were privileged. Anything he told her would remain between them.

For a fleeting moment, she considered telling him right then that she loved him. Because if he was going to France, there was a chance he would never come back. And shouldn’t he know just in case? But her heart told her to play it safe. If she didn’t tell him now, perhaps whatever power there was would protect him enough so that she could say it later. If there were still things left to be said, hopefully that would keep him alive.

There were no guarantees, of course. All they had was each other and their promise.

That afternoon, the trucks began rumbling out of Aldbourne. Juliet walked Ron as far as she was allowed. Her chest felt tight as the impending goodbye hung in the air. She hated this. It was too painful. How could it be that the very war that brought them together would also be the reason for their parting? What was fair about that? Nothing, that’s what.

A kiss from Ron drew her out of her thoughts. He held her firmly against him, almost as if he were afraid she would disappear right out of his grasp. When they parted, they were both breathless.

“Be careful,” she said.

His eyes searched hers. “You too.”

Her brain was practically screaming at her to tell him now just what she felt. But she was too afraid. Too afraid it would doom him. Too afraid he wouldn’t say it back. Or even worse, say it only because of the passionate nature of the moment. It had to be when they weren’t so desperate. When they really meant it because whatever was coming was not a threat.

“I’ll write,” she told him.

“I’ll respond when I can,” he returned.

She nodded. Her throat was dry and thick. The lack of tears in her eyes surprised her. How could she not be crying when she could feel her heart breaking so badly? She kissed him again. Just to prolong the last moment where he was only hers.

“Stay safe,” she told him.

He nodded.

With one last kiss, they said goodbye without saying it. Juliet went to the train station and headed home to London. And Ron went to war.

#band of brothers #ron speirs #juliet fletcher #ron speirs x ofc #hbo war #you better you better you bet series #Easy Company #band of brothers fic #hbo war fic

20 notes · View notes

crossdressingdeath · 4 years ago

Note

Seeing your post about how JYL has a 'ranking system' in her head when it comes to WWX and JC hits so hard, but honestly, the more I read into the Jiang family dynamics, the more I agree. JYL obviously loves WWX, but I don't know if she's capable of putting him above JC. And we see her defending him, and she obviously gives her life for him, but she was also reacting in the moment. Not to speak lightly of her sacrifice of course, but I just feel like there are certain limits to how 1/7

far she's actually willing to go for him. I was initially one of JYL's staunch defenders, and always said that, unlike JC, she didn't have the same amount of political power as him, wasn't in a position to do anything about the Wens, ect. But...I'm starting to question if that's really true. JYL may not have had much direct political power herself, but she was the sister of a sect leader, and even if JC was unwilling to help, JYL had just married into the richest and most powerful sect 2/7

at the time. It was a love marriage, JZX adored her and would've done anything for her if she'd just bothered to ask him for it. Madam Jin also cared for her and respected her, and between her and JZX, had JYL actually bothered to tell them anything, I'm sure they would have been able to sort something out. Or she could have had it as a condition of her marriage - I'm not marrying into the sect that's trying to kill my brother unless you tell your father to stop. Had it been reversed and 3/7

The Lans were calling for JYL and JC’s deaths, no way in hell WWX would’ve just married into the sect, regardless of LWJ’s involvement. Instead she just doesn’t really do anything. We see no proof that she ever tried to see WWX after the wedding dress incident, which — god I instantly saw it as a sweet gesture, but now it just bothers me, because your brother is living in squalor, and you decide to show if the expensive dress that you’ll be 4/7

wearing when marrying into the sect that's trying to kill him, you bring along one bowl of soup for him, and don't even try to explain WHY you're marrying into said sect. Beyond that, we don't see a single moment up until her death where JYL actually seems concerned about WWX, puts in effort to try to see him - she doesn't even ask him how he's doing the one time she does come to see him. When we compare that to how WQ treats WN, yeah, she's outwardly not as loving or sweet, but she 5/7

goes to the ends of the earth for her brother, even going as far as to betray her sect and risk WRH's wrath because he asks her to. And now we come back to that ranking system you mentioned before - yeah, it really does seem like JYL places her blood family first, which definitely hurts, but in comparison, despite only knowing him for a shorter amount of time, WQ truly grows to think of WWX as a second brother. And she treats him as such, at an equal level with WN - after JZX dies 6/7

WQ doesn't attack WWX for what happened. She doesn't try to come up with a way to sacrifice WWX instead and let WN survive in his stead. She and WN, two people who have become WWX's family, both give their lives to protect both him and the rest of their remaining family members. And it's just frustrating to think that the one member of WWX's adopted family who we all thought treated him like an actual brother, might not have really been on his side after all. 7/7

Yes! To start with the wedding dress thing, because it drives me nuts when people treat that like some super sweet act of love: JYL shows up in the Burial Mounds with no money, no sign of having tried to talk the sects around, no news outside of her own, no food beyond a couple bowls of soup (one of which she gives to the guy who can’t eat), and doesn’t so much as ask WWX if he’s okay. She literally came all that way to have a family meal, ask WWX to name the future nephew it’s becoming increasingly clear he’ll never meet, and tell him about her impending marriage into the family that’s currently doing everything in its power to destroy WWX’s life. Like, if you think about it that entire visit is such a slap in the face; “Here’s a bowl of soup while the people under your protection are starving, oh by the way I’m going to marry the son of the guy actively trying to get you killed, okay bye”. All you can say in regards to her helping WWX is that she does potentially manage to persuade JZX to invite him to JL’s one month celebration, but if memory serves the novel never actually specifies whose idea that was and it was JZX who decided to go get WWX after JGY told him about seeing JZXun heading in the direction of the Burial Mounds. And even then JZX does the same thing JYL does; sees WWX outnumbered and surrounded and tells him to stand down. At least in JZX’s case you could argue that the actual fighting hadn’t broken out and JZX probably trusted in his authority to be able to sort the situation out so long as WWX wasn’t actually acting aggressive (or defensive, rather), and he’s also physically strong enough that he may well have been able to intervene if the cultivators had attacked. JYL, when she does the same thing, has no authority and no physical power to defend WWX with. And yeah, both JZX and Madam Jin adore JYL, and neither of them seem super fond of JGS (JZX respects his father, but I don’t get the sense he loves him); if JYL had asked them for help it’s entirely possible they would’ve started at least circulating her version of events and demanding a proper investigation into what happened. But there’s no mention of her so much as trying, and she doesn’t offer to ask them when she visits WWX.

And yeah, compare WQ to JYL and it’s... well. WQ is so quick to offer WWX her love and care? She’s harsh, but she loves him and views him and WN on such equal footing that she and WN willingly hand themselves over to the Jins for WWX’s sake without her so much as bringing up the possibility of saving WN instead. There’s no ranking for WQ; WWX and WN are her brothers, and she loves them, and she’d do anything to protect them. When it becomes clear she can’t save WN (like hell the sects would let him live, and by this point it’s pretty clear that WWX won’t be able to protect them forever) she throws her whole weight behind defending the brother she thinks she might still be able to save, even if it means bringing WN with her to die. WQ knows WWX for... a year or two? Maybe? The timeline is a little hazy. Not long compared to JYL, anyway. And yet she’s willing to walk all the way to Lanling to die in the hope of saving him. It’s for her whole family, yes, but she makes a point of including him. Basically, I think this fandom needs more stuff wherein the Jiangs and Wens survive and the Wens are fully like “Our brother now, you don’t deserve him”.

The thing with JYL is... she loves WWX, she genuinely does, but he is never going to be first for her. To the point where she outright enables JC’s abuse, in places; she always expects WWX to be the one to grin and bear it. Hell, one of their first conversations involves JYL cheerily allowing WWX to cover up JC locking him out of his bedroom and scaring him out into the woods by threatening to set dogs on him! Let me rephrase that: she allows a traumatized nine-year-old to hide the fact that the kid her dad expects him to share a room with locked him out of said room on his FIRST NIGHT and threatened him with his LITERALLY WORST FEAR, and as far as we know makes no attempt to tell JFM herself. To keep JC out of trouble. That is such a thing! WWX was scared to the point of running away and JFM expects him to share a room with the person responsible for that and JYL goes along with him promising not to tell JFM so that JC won’t get in trouble! And from that day forwards everything is just “Boys will be boys” to her. Like, let me put it this way. Before LWJ (and arguably the Wens before that, although WWX saw himself more as protector than protected there) JYL was the person WWX trusted to protect and care for and comfort him above all others, yeah? She’s the one he thinks of as having his back? He doesn’t tell her about JC trying to kill him. JC tries to kill WWX three times before JYL’s death, and WWX doesn’t say a word to her about any of them. You could argue that he doesn’t want to involve her, but... JYL pretty clearly takes JC’s side every time JC starts having a go at WWX. When he chases him out of their room, when he starts snapping about how annoying WWX is, when he stabs WWX... She never outright says it, but there really does come a point where by staying neutral you’re siding with the aggressor, and she reaches that point a lot. Hell, the stabbing is one of those aforementioned near-murders! JC stabbed him! According to WWX (who downplays serious injuries, he never exaggerates them) he had to hold his guts in! WWX is talking about a pretty fucking serious injury (and JYL grew up in a cultivation sect, I don’t believe for a second she doesn’t at least know what constitutes a serious injury) while JC whines about a broken arm like it’s worse than having to physically hold your guts in until you can reach a doctor and JYL acts like those are equal! JC could easily have killed WWX and has enough training with the sword to know better than to go for a blow like that in a staged fight and JYL doesn’t even suggest he should apologise.

Honestly? The more I think about JYL the more it pisses me off that she’s treated like WWX’s best sister more than WQ is. Imagine WQ seeing one brother stab the other in the gut and take the former’s side because the latter broke the former’s arm. Imagine WQ so much as considering allowing a child to cover up the kid he’s supposed to share a room with locking him out and scaring him into running away. She wouldn’t! Because WQ sees her brothers as equals. She won’t pick WN over WWX just because they’re blood siblings; she loves them both, and will choose based on who she thinks is in the right. And she wouldn’t just stay neutral to avoid rocking the boat, oh no. If WQ heard WWX say that WN stabbed him and did enough damage that he had to hold his guts in... oh boy would WN have a bad day. The thing with JYL is that she seems like a good sister in comparison to the rest of the Jiangs; stick canon JYL into a family that genuinely loves WWX and sees him as equal to their other children, and she would not look anywhere near as good.

#mdzs #lotus sister #i still love jyl but... well #she's not actually a good sister to wwx despite being the only jiang to claim him as family #she looks good in comparison to the rest of the jiangs #but i'd pick wq over her any day #anon #asks

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tendermiasma · 4 years ago

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i’m not even into overwatch anymore but i just wanted to say I ADORE your art style and hope to develop my own into a similar semi-realism leaning...have you made a post about your art journey? I’m assuming I just need to buckle down and do anatomy studies but any tips are very welcome!! Ty for your time <3

Oh man thank you! I’ve never made a comprehensive post about how I got to *gestures* whatever this point in my art this is, and I definitely sat here wondering what “art journey” means for me since I always feel like I’m stumbling around so I’ll answer as completely as I can. But a great way to develop a realism-minded eye is to draw from photos and life. Everyone in the world has said it over and over but it really gets it done, it’s not any more complicated than that. It’s how I started when I was little and it’s not something I planned, but the Legolas posters were right there so how could I not? Your own non-realism “stylistic” touch will bubble up whether you want it to or not and that’s a beautiful thing. It’s not something you need to look for because it happens on its own, whether it’s you seeing something another artist is doing that you like and assimilating it into your work, or it’s your own unique way that you absorb information from the world and use it to solve problems in the drawing in front of you. Some new artists also still have the idea that using references is cheating-- I’m not blaming them, sometimes this weird thing is circulated by more established people as well-- but this is a very small minority. Please use references. I’d be lost without them. The Castlevania team has a giant collection of references for faces of every character from every angle, props, etc. and I always have a second screen up with 10 different sheets of whoever I’m drawing. Feeding yourself info is essential to getting better. Look at how other artists handle something you’re having a problem with too. If they’re doing a similar pose or something, study their drawing and ask yourself what specifically, extremely technically about that drawing is convincing-- what marks are where, and what is the quality or direction of the strokes? Try it out on your own drawing. If you’re stuck, become aware of if you’re holding on too tightly to what you think something should look like. I have to remind myself this as well. Really try to let go of the idea you have in your head about how something works and simply try instead to draw what you see, even if it feels weird. The results are often pleasantly surprising.

I have a funny relationship with studies. You seem to be looking at them like a chore and I feel the same way. It’s impossible for me to sit down and just draw something over and over, disconnected from emotion or a larger narrative. I think a wonderful way to “study” is to incorporate those studies into a project that you wanted to do anyway. I’ve used my minicomics to get better at background painting or specific figure poses that I needed for the story but wasn’t sure how to do. I’m a very “oops I need it now better learn TODAY�� kind of artist, if that suits you better than buckling down and doing anatomy studies for hours. Both are great ways to improve, but you have options for how to get there.

In terms of how much time I spend drawing.. well lol it’s a lot. I almost typed “but I don’t do it every day” but yes, my jobs have made sure that I do (I tend to separate personal drawing and job drawing). But the truth is, to get better, a lot of very focused drawing time is important; how much of it is up to you and your schedule. You can sit down for 6 hours and doodle or you can sit down for 3 with an extremely critical eye. It’s about the volume of time as well as focus and I don’t have a clear answer for it, but I can point to one specific year in my life where I made artistic progress like I’ve never seen from myself since. I drew a comic with regular updates during that time and, looking back, the art was not good. But the point was, I was drawing for 7 hours a day after work, at least 5 days a week, and actively looking to draw things that I hadn’t done before or knew that I wasn’t good at, and the result was that every single update was almost like it was drawn by a different person-- readers noticed and commented on the progress as well. It was very much an art bootcamp and I wouldn’t have the skills I do at this point if I hadn’t done it. It’s important that you’re loving what you do if you do it for yourself! That’s how you get through big projects and continue to be excited with where you are. Love is one of the most important motivators and discipline-keepers in art, in my experience. Draw what sets your brain on fire and attack it wholeheartedly even if it’s really weird or niche, not what you think you should be drawing, and you’ll improve a million times faster.

Art journey in terms of what I’ve done with my life (if this is what you meant from the beginning I’M SORRY I’m just trying everything you might have meant) uhhh I haven’t been to art school. I have no idea what my relationship with art would be like now if I’d had any formal training and I don’t really dwell on it. I could either be a testament to being able to get by without it or an example of someone who has no idea what she’s doing at all and lacks many basic foundational art skills. I have an architecture degree. I love architecture, I love the language of space we build for ourselves, and I’m truly, deeply glad for that eye-opening and often grueling experience, but I think my current field is a much better fit. Before animation I worked as a graphic designer mainly drawing storyboards for commercials and internal-industry stuff-- lots and lots of quick colored sketches (one of our main clients was a big glass company and my god I never thought I’d draw so much glass in my life). I was able to do that job due to the skills I developed through personal work. Maybe I’d be a hundred times more powerful if I went to art school! Maybe I’d be completely burned out and bitter and not drawing anymore at all! I just don’t know. I have friends who have had both experiences. Whether you choose art school or not it’s best to keep tabs on if the art you’re currently making brings you joy. Joy and struggle aren’t mutually exclusive. Oftentimes I’m drawing something I care deeply about but it’s VERY FUCKING HARD and I’m frustrated but it’s worth it.

I also do everything while being very scared of the thing. I have a lot of deep-seated anxiety that I’m constantly trying to root out and my brain compulsively twists things around into why I can’t do something, why people secretly know I’m below-par and are just too nice to tell me, how I’m “tricking” people into thinking I’m better than I am, etc. It’s so bad that my first thought when I was initially offered the art test for my current job was to say no; not because I didn’t want it so badly it hurt, but because I thought I’d be too much of a disappointment. After completing the test I spent an hour figuring out the most gracious way to apologize for not being enough. It’s common, but not something to accept and we’re all working on it. I just thought it was important to mention because art is also a mental journey and forces you to do all this navel-gazey shit in order to advance, and feeling like you are Not Enough is rife in the creative community. The work feels entangled with my value as a person because art is a massive part of my life. Something I’m learning is that I don’t have to be confident or sure of myself all the time. This ensures that the process is usually painful and frightening. Often there’s no way to make it less painful or frightening, and I just have to hold my breath and do it. An oddly comforting thing to me the past couple years is to remind myself that the scary thing I’m about to do won’t be the scariest thing I’ll ever do. I implies both that this isn’t the pinnacle of my progress and also that I will inevitably get over it. If you continue with art you’re going to run into things like this and I guess if it was me it would’ve been helpful to know I’m not alone in it.

I hope that maybe answered some of your questions, maybe? If you have some specific questions feel free and I’ll try my best. Hope you have a good day/night!

#anon #asks

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yandere-daydreams · 5 years ago

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Requests smothering yanderes 7 for todoroki 🥺🥺

I feel like I haven’t written BNHA in weeks, for Todoroki especially. I’d hate to say I miss him, but it’s hard not to want to see a bastardly boy at his worst, sometimes.

TW: Mentions of Extreme Violence, Non-Consensual Touching, Imprisonment and Toxic/Delusional Mindsets.

A few weeks ago, you never would’ve pegged Shoto as the affectionate type.

He was cold as your employer, barely reaching luke-warm as your friend. He was never stern, but he wasn’t friendly, either, rarely breaking a smile and only ever talking when you were the one to initiate. You’d only ever touched him, really touched him, when one of you was injured or relieved the other wasn’t, and even then, a pitiful struggle to drag him to safety and a fleeting hug hardly breached the platonic barrier. You could give examples until your lungs gave out, spout countless reasons he hadn’t seemed interested in you, but… it didn’t really matter, in the end.

Shoto wasn’t your boss and you weren’t his sidekick, now. He wasn’t your friend, anymore, and you couldn’t find the resolve to think of yourself as his.

And as your captor, Shoto seemed more than happy to be as touchy as he saw fit.

Even now, he was slotted against your side, his legs splayed out casually while yours were pulled to your chest, your face buried in your knees in an effort to hide your red eyes. Shoto didn’t seem to care, though, his arm thrown over your shoulders and his free hand occupied with the ends of your hair, toying with whichever stray strand he chose to focus on. You’d already shoved him away, already yelled and screamed and thrown things, but the only thing you’d gained was a new burn on your chest and an even tighter shackle around your ankle, this one already threatening to cut off your circulation.

You whimpered as he kissed your scalp, but Shoto didn’t notice. That, or he was getting better at pretending he hadn’t. “Are we still pouting?” He asked, prodding lightly at your cheek with his thumb. You only curled into yourself further, intent on blocking him out as much as your restraints would allow. “I thought we had a conversation about your attitude earlier.” The thought was followed by a sigh, Shoto leaning further into you as he spoke. “We’ve talked about this, I know we’ve talked about this. If you stop acting like everything I do is a punishment, I won’t have to use as many. This could be nice. It will be nice, when you stop being such a crybaby about it.”

For whatever reason, his word-choice made something in your heart clench. A new wave of tears threatened to spill, and you forced yourself to keep it at-bay. “You’re not the one chained to a fucking bed,” You mumbled, gritting your teeth. “I want to go home, Shoto. I’m not going to be happy until I do.”

“But you can’t.” His tone changed, suddenly, taking a turn towards hostile. He straightened his back, resting his weight on your knee, attempting to pry his way into your self-made shelter. “It’s dangerous, what don’t you understand about that? Things were bad enough while I was protecting you, but then you started talking about moving to another agency and… something bad would have happened, love.”

“Why are you still a Hero, then?” You couldn’t stop yourself from getting more aggressive than you should’ve, your fear fading as anger took its place. Shoto reached out, but you were quick to bat his helping hand away, not caring that you had to weaken your defenses to do so. “Why don’t you quit? Why don’t you try worrying about yourself? I didn’t need your help, Todoroki, I wasn’t just some… damsel you need to save.” You perked up, if only to better glare at the man now grimacing in front of you. “You kidnapped me. You kidnapped me, and you did it because you’re a pathetic, paranoid freak who loses track of his moral compass whenever someone dares to tell him ‘no’.”

Shoto blinked. One, twice, his expression slowly morphing back to hardened neutrality. “You still don’t get it.”

You pulled back, momentarily caught off-guard. “What?”

“You still don’t get it.” You didn’t get a choice, anymore, Shoto forcing your legs flat against the mattress and straddling your waist before you could protest. You attempted to push him away, to squirm out from under him, but Shoto stifled your efforts with a guttural growl and a shove back, his a bit more malicious than yours. “Cruel, terrible people live out there, people who want to hurt you.” He sighed, but his anger didn’t dissipate, only growing more apparent as he continued. “Is it so bad to be away from them?”

You bit the inside of your cheek, something dark boiling over in your mind. “You’re the only one who wants to hurt me–”

“They’d kill you.” You doubted he was listening to you, a pull and a strong arm around your torso keeping you pressed against his chest, unable to see anything but pale skin. But, you didn’t have to see. You could feel his fingers brush against your side, lingering at your hipbone, slipping under the fabric of the over-sized shirt he’d provided you with. “They’d kill you, or worse, some villain will find you injured, recognize your name, and break your legs so you can’t get away. They’ll beat whatever they can get their dirty hands on to a bloody pulp, and they won’t hold back, not like I do.” He paused, taking in a sharp breath, as if he’d just stumbled upon a world-shattering revelation. “They’ll maim you. And then I’ll have to be the one to watch you bleed out in some disgusting back-alley before the paramedics can arrive.”

You didn’t respond, but you didn’t have to, his grip moving to your hair and jerking your head back. The kiss came suddenly, abruptly, Shoto slotting his mouth against yours and sloppily trying to further the gesture when you failed to. It was desperate, the way he held you, clingy and affection-starved and hopeless, his touch wandering far more than you’d like it too. You searched for a distraction reflexively, analyzing the silk sheets balled in your fists and memorizing the sensation of hardwood pressing against your back, and…

And noticing the stiff, hard thing pressing into your thigh, your acknowledgment instantly bringing you back to Shoto.

He’d been so cold, before, so stand-offish and uncaring and stoic. You knew he’d changed, but you couldn’t seem to bring yourself to process just how low he’d fallen. Reality was dawning on you, though, as swift as it was wounding. You crumbled immediately, but Shoto’s approaches didn’t slow, his lips dropping to your neck as he let out a soft, content groan, the sound alone driving a spear into your chest.

He didn’t care if you wanted to be here. He didn’t care if you were happy or in love or safe. Not as much as he claimed he did, at least.

If you didn’t know better, you would’ve said he just wanted something warm and helpless to put his hands on.

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broken-minded-love · 4 years ago

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@sad-sweet-cowboah Hope you don’t mind if I start a new post here, I don’t want to prolong the debate by doing this, but I still have some things to say and the other post is getting kind of ridiculous and is hard to reply to due to it’s length. I’ll quote a few things from the original thread to keep it linked in reply and physically here for posterity. [...I know it makes me seem suspicious but I have a habit of reading things without saving them, etc...] I appreciate that you wouldn’t keep track like that, who does? However, I can’t see any credit given to HOGO or her work on your blog/story before the original call out drama in 2019? Obviously you may have done that privately, but I know how fandoms work and there’s a lot of mutual backscratching in drama’s like this so it seems impossible to truly validate any of this independently, which is a shame. Perhaps it was my mistake, but when you said you’d been inspired by HOGO’s fics I assumed she’d written a full fic. I can’t find an actual chaptered fan fic following videogame Arthur in modern times from HOGO, and nothing of him in that setting by himself. It all seems to be involving the gang too, which is quite a different dynamic to what occurs in your series and Wish Upon. I can see how it would be difficult to keep track of HOGO’s posts, even if you were trying too, because I can see dozens of drabbles, but nothing as a titled fic you could keep track of. I can also see why those little scenes and dialogs may have inspired you, but as I said I can’t see any credit for the inspiration as you claimed? Besides which, it’s all kind of a moot point, because I think the bigger issue seems to be less about the initial inspiration and more about the timing and direct comparisons that can be drawn between your series and Wish Upon. [...I also included the-awkward-outlaw’s series as an example since you mentioned previously that it’s a “very niche” topic when it’s more popular than one would think. ...] Well, yes, it is now, but it wasn’t to begin with. Ever since the onset of this drama, I’ve only seen a tiny handful of attempts at covering Arthur in the modern world in a fic, which still makes it niche when you compare to the volume of repeated themes in Red Dead fics over all. It was a completely non existent plotline (at least on AO3/FFNET) in October ‘18 through Jan ‘19, and the game had been out for three months already when @miss-oscurita published Wish Upon. Yet no one had stepped up to bring us a story covering the concept of video game Arthur alive in 2018/9. The reason Wish Upon hooked me personally, was because it was completely different to the numerous “damsel in distress”, “highborn babe”, “tough outlaw chick” that were a dime a dozen. There was also several “modern reader goes back in time” stories too, but Wish Upon was the first incarnation of Arthur coming out of the game into the modern world, in an actual fic at least. No doubt the idea could have been circulating, but no one had actually taken the time to put it into an actual story to my knowledge. Does that mean Oscurita should hold a monopoly on the idea? Of course not, but it does explain why anything that followed Wish Upon’s publication, including TOA’s recent works, will be bound to draw comparisons simply because Wish Upon was first on the scene to cover the topic, and as a result is likely the most well known version of it. I think the real issue here isn’t who all’s covered Arthur living in modern times, it’s more the issue over the dynamic where the protag is familiar with him as a character, because the dynamic of the pairing and the story itself changes so much when it’s explored from that angle. The dynamic is also affected when the fic focuses only on the two main characters (as with the gang being in the modern world in HOGO’s concepts) especially when they are both aware he’s fictional that it’s really something that can only be done once, maybe twice at a push. And yes you’d have to be certifiable to believe ideas won’t overlap, I mean it’s going to be a really hollow story if you don’t cover things like Arthur using a microwave, or using a toothbrush and showering for the first time, or learning to drive, discovering movies and what not. However, from what I seen over the course of this matter, it seems the issue with it all lies in how and when these elements are explored in the story. I may be wrong, but I don’t think there’s ever been an issue raised with any other parts of your series beyond that of As We Meet, has there? And the issues raised over the original instalment and the rewritten piece seemed to be because it essentially follows the exact pattern of Wish Upon’s first few chapters, as we’ve already discussed.

[... I’m 99% positive the catalyst was a h-o-g-o oneshot of Arthur discovering lingerie...]

Funny that you should mention discovering lingerie when @miss-oscurita’s most recent update included Arthur discovering modern underwear for the first time. I don’t recall in which of your stories he did that?

Just in the interest of being informed, I searched HOGO’s blog and found a chapter mentioning lingerie (which I assume is the one that inspired you?) but that in itself is a classic example of how the same idea can be done by two different people and still be complete different.

Which I’m sorry to say really only further highlights why the similarities in your opening chapters are such a cause for concern.

Regardless of the inspiration, if we list the similarities we have from the original piece, and the rewrite the issues are pretty clear.

1) Young female gamer protag.

2) Modern day setting.

3) Both have adopted silver tabby cats.

4) Both have the backdrop of being alone on a stormy night.

5) Both involved with an event that brings Arthur out of the game.

6) Both aware of him as a fictional character before being a flesh and blood man.

4) Both immediately assume him to be an intruder.

5) Both think they are dreaming and pinch themselves.

6) Both use touch as a way to confirm he’s there in the flesh.

7) Both fics use the same name for animals.

8) Both fics almost immediately go on to explore Arthur showering, discovering cellphones, watching TV/movies, using a microwave, in almost the exact same order. 9) Both use some variation of the “my Arthur” device.

Then in the rewrite you make changes to also include:

10) Both use his horse to confirm he’s ripped straight from the game.

11) Both use extremely similar types of names for the horses.

12) Both work from home, for one reason or another. Seeing it written out like that I can more understand why people have red flagged it, as it goes a bit beyond simply exploring the same concept as the likes of HOGO/TAO may be doing. I mean it was bound to flare things up to include additional similar elements. What I don’t get is, knowing how toxic the fandom is, and that you’re under the microscope over this, why you didn’t take the rewrite as an opportunity to distance yourself from those similarities? And if I’m brutally frank with you here, it does come across as a bit of “drama farming” when you know the consequences of similarities all too well. And what I still don’t get is how you’ve not managed to move away from these controversies? I’m a lot of a loser, and have kept an eye on this drama since it began and I have to say when you interjected with the other drama around Wish Upon late last year, that came across to me as looking for drama, or at least being lead to it by someone else somewhere. I don’t know where you got the tip off for that, because the post wasn’t tagged and I only saw it due to following @miss-oscurita/you on my fandom account and the other writer in question was very new to the RDR fandom and likely didn’t have much of a following. Add that to the poor wording on the announcements of your rewrites and you know, I’m sure it’s innocent on your part, but I can see why it doesn’t look good to others. I mean I could easily believe you were trying to avoid making the stories similar and accidentally included the horse thing simply because your ideas and the ideas from Wish Upon merged, because unless you’re able to keep them firmly separate in your head it’s going to happen now you know of Wish Upon. If it was me, I’d be doing my best to not give anyone any more reason to throw shit at my house. Instead you’ve somehow managed to do the opposite. The rewrite was a missed opportunity to draw a line under all the past drama, and that’s disappointing to see as a reader and a writer too. I do hope you manage to sort this all out, and that there’s no further public bashing over it all but now the seal is broken on it all it’ll be very hard to prevent the sharks smelling the tiniest drop of blood in the water.

#writing #fan fic dramas #not going to tag this for fandom to avoid inflaming the situation further #sad-sweet-cowboah #miss-oscurita

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of-all-irrelevance · 4 years ago

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@luxoracademy @luxorstarters @luxorgossip

Dear Luxor,

I am writing to the current members of Luxor and to those who might be considering joining. I'm writing this because I have things to say, and I've been quiet for far too long. While the admins may write me off as a member burned, I hope at least one person can take me at face value, because I am here to tell my story.

I joined Luxor on May 17, 2020. However, it was not an easy process. The face claim I wanted to use was rejected as being "too old," despite that face claim having copious amounts of resources from when he was younger. At the time of my application, the rules regarding face claims were that they should have played a high school character before, which my desired face claim did. I had to fight to use the face for my character that I wanted to, and while I was successful, I was often scared to use resources that were in the time frame deemed acceptable by the admins, but that I was afraid they'd see as too "old". And this is a fear that I've kept until my last day as a member of this rp. I am still afraid that I may be issued warnings or other forms of cease and desists for using a resource for my character.

Despite the initial trouble, Luxor seemed like a great place. So many of the members I met when I joined were wonderful and welcoming except, funny enough, the admin team. The only thing I received from them upon joining was a link to the Luxor Discord server. They never introduced themselves, and only one of the admins included a very basic "welcome!" message upon my joining the server.

So while I was plotting with and getting to know the members, the admin team gave the air of being aloof and untouchable. Trying to reach out and plot with them, would result in a message or two every two weeks. And then nothing would ever come from it. I'd start threads and reply to threads with the admins, and they'd end within 4-5 replies if they ever got a reply at all. The rules of the role-play prohibit "bubble rp," but there's no one in more of a bubble than the admins.

Before this is written off as an unfounded claim, despite trying to plot with Admin Mimi for months, my first ever dash interaction with her was on October 21, 2020. That was more than five months after I joined the rp. So, for anyone considering joining and wondering about plotting with the admins, I'd suggest another rp, as these admins don't plot much outside their clique.

And yes, I called it a clique, because that's exactly what it is. Some people are in the "inner circle" and included in a private discord server with the admins, and surprise, those select people and the admins rarely plot outside themselves for anything. A thread started outside the clique, will more than likely be abandoned after one or two replies, if you see any replies at all.

Beyond their clique and bubble, the admins have a growing history with power trips. The first was on July 25, 2020, when the admins created a firm rule about the role-play's secret aspect. We were told that we were no longer allowed to speculate amongst ourselves. Honestly, that took a lot of the fun out of it. It was fun to speculate with others, see if they guessed our own characters' secrets or not. They created a rule; however, that stated that only two characters could know a secret of another character. Depending upon the secret, that is potentially impossible to maintain. But it limits characters from having ties to others in their past when the secret may have originated if two other characters already know the secret. The rule came out of nowhere and seemed very arbitrary. It was an unnecessary bid for power.

Then on October 7, 2020, the admin team decided to temporarily shut down the role-plays Discord server, under the guise of making the rp more inclusive. They asked for member feedback and thoughts and concerns. I, as well as others that I know of, gave them a list of concerns that we had. I can't speak for their concerns, but mine went largely ignored. I had issue with one of the members that were a part of the admins' clique, and the response was rather that they seemed untouchable, as if they couldn't possibly be making me feel like the rp was an unsafe environment. This was not the first time that I brought a concern that I had about this member to the admins, and it was the not the first time that they disregarded my concerns, as the things that bothered me weren't "against the rules."

Most recently, the admins created a new rule on December 15, 2020 about starters. The rule is unwieldy and dictates who a character can and cannot interact with. By forcing members to reply to three threads per character in order to do a single starter call, they remove the ability for some to role-play closed starters from more than just the few people they reach out to. I did bring this concern to the admins, and they all but wrote me off. Personally, I am a full-time student with a part-time job. I can barely maintain four threads per character. This new rule made it impossible for me to do a starter call in any capacity, severely limiting my ability to role-play as I have been doing for months now.

However, my issues aren't just from arbitrary and overly controlling rules. The admins have also accused me, personally, of things that I won't go into as they concern other people as well as my self. I received a warning for something they took on hearsay. It was reported to them by someone that had a falling out with myself, and the action itself supposedly occurred during a voice chat. Now, there is no way to prove a conversation over voice chat without a recording, but that's not the point. The point is that I was given a warning without the admins reaching out for my side of the story. They took the other person's word as fact, and didn't consider to hear both sides before issuing warnings. I wasn't the only to receive this treatment either, but that's not my story to tell.

On December 28, 2020, the admins began what is essentially a witch hunt. They received what they perceived as hate. In my opinion, what they received was simply a statement of an opinion of their members. However, they began this witch hunt, asking for members to accuse other members of sending these messages. This, like most witch hunts, ended with the accusation of someone innocent. This innocent is a dear friend of mine, and it hurt to see them hung out like a witch for the world to see with little to no proof. Seeing this, I know it's completely my time to leave. I cannot stay in a place that breeds hostility and threatens private conversations and feelings to be become public spectacle.

So now we're here. This is my official withdrawal from Luxor Academy. To potential new members, I hope at least some of my words prepare you for what kind of place this is. This all said, I want to be clear that it is not the whole admin team that are powerhungry. It is the two main admins, Nora and Mimi. I have had very little good experiences with them to share. To Yo, thank you for trying, and I appreciate you as the only sane admin on this rp. To my friends, I still consider you my friends. If you ever want to talk or even do a one on one role-play over Discord, you know where to reach me. Just because I'm dissatisfied with Luxor's management, does not mean I think less of my friends.

Further, upon completion of this letter, it has come to my attention that a member of this rp, someone I thought was my friend, or at least friendly, shared my personal medical information with the admins, without my knowledge or consent. This speculated information was taken as a screenshot and sent to multiple other members, something that caused me to have a panic attack. Having my information circulated like this is the very last straw. Luxor is an unsafe role-play environment, and anyone thinking to join, please think very carefully.

Sincerely,

A Former Member

#luxorintro #luxortask #luxorstart #luxorooc #luxoractivity #luxoradmin #luxorevent #luxorfollow

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uwunnie · 5 years ago

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Update + Week 1 recap (Nov.7, 8:21 PM US Mountain Time)

Today marked the final day of the first week since this whole ordeal began. Truthfully, it feels like we somehow transported to the Dramarama video because time seemed to stop, but alas, here we are.

For the recap, I’m not going to put specific dates, but for today’s update, I will title it as such. You’ll see - this should be a pretty easy format to follow (tiki-taka),

For the sake of everyone’s timelines, the recap and update begin after this read more.

When news broke out regarding a Wonho’s sudden departure on October 31 (US and the like time-zones), may have been November 1 for other zones, there really weren’t that many updates in the way of efforts to bring him back. That day was full of shock, so everyone was more angry and depressed - even more so compared to now.

But after a day or two, Monbebes managed to channel their emotions into a bigger cause: Bringing Wonho home, and bringing him home we will.

Let’s recap:

Twitter Monbebes, Carter and Kei, organized the GoFundMe to raise $10,000 USD to purchase an ad in NY Times Square.

Within 45 minutes of initial service, the goal had been met.

After a couple days, the donations kept piling in and finally, as of November 3 - the GoFundMe closed at $25,102 USD ($15,102 USD over the original goal).

The ad’s payment was successful and the ad went up! However, my understanding is that the ad’s run-time ends in a few hours.

Ad’s location: New York, 42nd St. and 7th Ave., facing east.

Photos of the ad:

Reads: We shine brighter as a family, then proceeds to list each name of OT7 along with their logo and a photo of OT7 together with MONBEBE on the photo.

The board kicked off on November 6 and ran 30 times per hour for 15 seconds all day except 2-5 AM.

A petition calling to keep Wonho a member of Monsta X was published. Within a week, the petition is still going pretty strong with over 400k signatures. The goal is 500k, so I predict it will reach its goal within the next week.

The petition can be found here.

In addition, more projects/campaigns have been released since then and can be found in this master-post here.

Since this day, however, more projects have been revealed, so once I compile all of them, I’ll add them to the previous link.

Let’s remember:

K-MBB left sticky notes on Starship Ent.’s building. Eventually, within a few hours, a staff member was photographed collecting them.

News outlets began reporting about Monbebe efforts to bring Wonho back, thus bringing more attention to our goal.

Celebrities reached out and showed their support of Monsta X.

Monbebes began writing everyone to spread awareness - spanning as far as contacting Moon Jae-in, South Korea’s president.

Naver (shockingly) released a positive article - something that’s very rare.

Efforts are still being made to spread more awareness through physical ads in South Korea.

K-MBB’s held a silent protest outside of Starship Ent.

International fans flew to South Korea to participate.

Staff said they can and will welcome Wonho back.

Staff also helped Monbebes greatly:

Met with MBB’s on the day of the silent protest to help them cut out banners.

These plaques read, “I do not want to remain just a memory,” which are lyrics from If Only.

Supported MBB’s in the fan cafe - even went as far as changing their icons, I believe, to photos of Wonho.

Continued collecting MBB sticky notes and even provided tissues at the protests for those who were crying.

Continue encouraging us to continue with our efforts.

Other fandoms have showed their support for Monsta X and MBB.

International MBB are still organizing a silent protest from what I’ve seen circulating the web.

For Minhyuk’s birthday, MBB adopted four whales as gifts. One is a southern humpback named Monbebe, another a blue whale adopted in Minhyuk’s name. I’ve heard another one was named Monsta X, but don’t quote me on it because I’m not 100% sure.

Minhyuk’s birthday tag also reached #1 worldwide trend.

A set of stars were also purchased and named Lee Hoseok and Monsta X.

NY-MBB got a dance group to dance to Follow.

UK-MBB are hosting fundraisers in efforts to raise money for a central London billboard.

As I stated prior, all sorts of ad efforts were, and still are being, made.

Over 30 tags have consecutively trended worldwide for one week - many of them reaching -#1 trend several times.

K-MBB’s used the original fan chant during one of the performances for Follow’s promotions. If you don’t know what I’m referring to, it means that they used the OT7 chant including Wonho’s name.

300 fans were allowed into the Inkigayo recording - 100 over its normal capacity.

Tower Records, international music franchise store, showed their support in their Japan branch’s sector through MX signs and posters.

MX reminders:

Wonho is still active on the fan cafe.

Majority of the members have been active on the fan cafe.

Minhyuk posted this for his birthday:

Changkyun posted this two days ago:

Wonho is still on Starship’s official site.

This photo was posted a day or two ago:

For those that may not understand, the white ink is circling Wonho’s signature and name on the wristband. Some people claimed it doesn’t matter because those bands are pre-made, but to that I’d like to point out that those bands are made out of paper and his name is printed/signed on the end, so it would have been very easy for staff to cut off the end part if they really wanted to, or were instructed to do so.

This was circulating the web:

Speculations:

Nov. 7: Shownu wore Wonho’s shirt.

Nov. 7: Kihyun wore Wonho’s earrings.

Nov. 7: Hyungwon wore Wonho’s chain.

Nov. 7: Changkyun wore Wonho’s, or a similar, earpiece.

Nov. 7: Our boys left a space for Wonho at the end of their performance. Take a look here and see what you think.

Nov. 2: MX left a space for Wonho during Follow and Find You.

Nov. 2: Jooheon’s lyrical slip-up could have been in protest of what’s occurring.

In regards to this speculation, he did this recently again as well, so my interpretation is that it’s probably related to the protest as well as exhaustion.

Starship info and overall legal matters:

As far as my knowledge extends, this is the ONLY official statement SS has released:

The explanation/speculation of this letter can be found here.

SS is involved in their own, personal, controversy. I’ve made past posts regarding the situation, but for the sake of not stirring the pot, so-to-speak, I’m going to exclude them from this particular post. Until further information about their situation is released, or I feel it’s becoming a detriment to MX, I will bite my tongue.

In regards to 🐻’s controversy, SS confirmed the photos were manipulated (fake).

🐻’s searches have been cleared, at least from my knowledge. I’ve been told that they have been, but I’m not entirely sure if they’ve come back or anything.

I know a lot of people messaged me that particular night in regards to a YouTube video talking about 🐻’s situation and everyone was concerned it would spark up the searches again. I didn’t want to say anything until I saw the video taken down, but I messaged KJ and explained the situation to him. He had no ill intent with his video - in fact, he was trying to help clear the negative rumors revolving around MX. He was just simply unaware that, unfortunately, any publicity regarding 🐻’s situation would trigger the searches again, so I explained this to him and told him about MBB efforts. He completely understood and removed the video.

Updates from November 7:

MX received their 2nd win!

The video and post involving Hyungwon’s speech can be found here. HIGHLY recommend watching it.

GOT7 congratulated and hugged each member, and E-Dawn congratulated Changkyun.

Only 10 Monbebes were allowed inside for the performance, so Ahgases (GOT7’s fan club) held up Monsta X light sticks during our boys’ performance in place for the MBB not allowed in. Ahgase also helped MBB with the live voting.

In other words: Ahgase and Monbebe are each other’s sweethearts. 💚🤧💜

Jooheon told MBB not to cry.

They held a fan-sign to which:

Wonho’s photo was projected on the screen behind them. A link to the photo can be found here.

K-MBB informed MX of the Times Square ad.

Changkyun stayed this is the last week of promotions.

Kihyun said he will do a cover of Believer.

I think Shownu earned his PhD? Or is going to?

Jooheon confirmed the release of the studio version of Sambakja, or he said he might. I’ve seen people talking about both, so I can guarantee 100%, but Jooheon, if you’re reading this - please.

Trends continue meaning we’ve successfully trended for one week straight.

Eshy:

Voting for MAMA has been open and Monsta X is a nominee in all except a couple categories.

There’s two ways to vote:

Voting for them in specific categories on the website, here.

Voting on Twitter as well by utilizing:

#MAMAVOTE #monstax

Current twitter tags to trend as well:

#LoveUWonho

#우리_항상_네_곁에_있을게요

@/OfficialMonstaX

@/STARSHIPent

Overall reminders:

Do not engage in fan wars.

Do not engage in any hate towards the duo. I’ve said this in the past and it’s practically been confirmed: They’re trying to gather sympathy through the situation they’ve caused by trying to play victim. Popular sites are posting articles painting them in positive undertones and netizens are starting to support them because of the hate they’re getting on their social platforms and what not. Those comments can also be collected and utilized in the ongoing legal case, so please, do NOT engage with them. Instead, channel your energy into MAMA voting, campaigns/projects, trends, and other positive things that will bring Wonho home to us.

Messages to MX, project created by @wonderlanddragon, ends Nov.8/9. The posted regarding the details can be found in the campaign link above!

Bunnies for Wonho, created by @thoughtsfromaclutteredbrain, has been ongoing now. They’ve also planned a new project for a video, so please send in your favorite Wonho moment along with your name and/or nickname to them!

@stay-dont-strayy creates an International MBB project. You can find the info on their blog!

Kpop group chats have been created, links here.

@sezy001234 has also created five tumblr kpop group chats, so hit her up for details on everything!

I’ve also made a kpop tumblr group chat, so if you’d like to be added, send in an ask or message!

The source to find the bunny 7-1=0 profile pictures can be found here in seven different colors.

You can leave letters/sweet messages to the boys on the fan cafe. Please be mindful of the situations at hand when doing so and also, give a little extra love to our baby, Changkyun. MBB at the fan-sign have mentioned that he seems to be struggling the most and tbh, it’s been very visible in his performances and photos.

All seven are trying to be strong for us, so let’s try our best to be strong for them. ❤️

We’ve made it through the first week, babes.

We can do it time and time again.

I love you all. ❤️🤧

Let’s bring our bunny home. ❤️🐰

(Posting: Nov. 8, 3:05 AM US Mountain Time // yes, it took me this long to make lol)

#monsta x #wonho #shownu #kihyun #hyungwon #minhyuk #jooheon #changkyun #im #joohoney #updates #first week #monbebe

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brajeshupadhyay · 4 years ago

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PARIS — As the two women sat in deck chairs enjoying the last rays of sunshine near the Canal de l’Ourcq in Paris on Sunday evening, nearby loudspeakers jolted them with a reminder that they were in a new mask-mandatory zone. “You’ve got your mask?” Safiya Zenag, unmasked, asked her friend, who replied: “No, I didn’t bring it. I hate wearing it.” Faced with a recent resurgence of coronavirus cases, officials have made mask wearing mandatory in widening areas of Paris and other cities across the country, pleading with the French not to let down their guard and jeopardize the hard-won gains made against the virus during a two-month lockdown this spring. The signs of a new wave of infection emerged over the summer as people began resuming much of their pre-coronavirus lives, traveling across France and socializing in cafes, restaurants and parks. Many, especially the young, have visibly relaxed their vigilance and have not followed rules on mask wearing or social distancing. In recent days, France has recorded about 3,000 new infections every day, roughly double the figure at the beginning of the month, and the authorities are investigating an increasing number of clusters. But 30 percent of the new infections are in young adults, ages 15 to 44, according to a recent report. Since they are less likely to develop serious forms of the illness, deaths and the number of patients in intensive care remain at a fraction of what they were at the height of the pandemic. Still, officials are not taking any chances. “The indicators are bad, the signals are worrying and the situation is deteriorating,” Jérôme Salomon, the French health ministry director, told the radio station France Inter last week. “The fate of the epidemic is in our hands.” Mr. Salomon warned that the virus would continue to circulate and that people would have to adjust their behavior. “We have to live with it,’’ he said. France suffered 30,400 deaths from the virus — one of the world’s worst tolls — and experienced an economically devastating lockdown from mid-March to mid-May. Thanks to the lockdown, however, France succeeded in stopping the spread of the virus and lifted most restrictions at the start of summer. Philippe Juvin, the head of the emergency department at the Georges Pompidou European Hospital in Paris, said he was not surprised by the rise in cases. “You lock down people during two months, putting a stop to infections,” he said. “Once people are again allowed to go outside, it is not surprising that infection quickly resumes.” The course of the pandemic in Europe has followed a somewhat similar trend, with Spain also reporting new local clusters. But important disparities exist among countries. In the past week, as France reported 20,000 new cases, Italy reported 7,000, and Britain, 3,000, according to data collected by The New York Times. Mircea Sofonea, an epidemiologist at the French University of Montpellier, said today’s situation had “nothing to do in terms of imminent health risk” with the situation that preceded the European lockdowns because the number of hospitalized coronavirus patients and deaths remains very low. In France, the daily number of deaths has hovered around 15 in the past week. By contrast, at the height of the epidemic in March and April, hundreds died every day in France, with the toll sometimes rising into four digits. In April, intensive care units were at 140 percent capacity; only 7 percent were occupied about 10 days ago. Mr. Sofonea said all European countries were expecting a rebound of the epidemic in the fall, when people who have been away on vacation come back to work and when social interaction resumes. The French authorities fear that the rising number of infections in young people, many of whom are asymptomatic, may contribute to the spread of the virus to older, more vulnerable people. “Young people felt a little more invincible,” said Olivier George, a 36-year-old baker. “That’s probably what made them the most affected group.” Across the continent, crowds of young people are flocking to illegal parties organized in outdoor areas, regardless of the risk of infection. While the number of new cases in France has been rising steadily, it is difficult to draw comparisons with earlier stages in the epidemic. The number of tests being carried out across France has increased to about 600,000 a week — or about six times the numbers performed during the height of the epidemic. At that time, France suffered from severe shortages of test kits, making it impossible for many suspected of having Covid-19 to get tested. Raphaëlle Escande, 23, a business school student, said she fell ill in March with symptoms of the disease, including the loss of smell, a sore throat and fever. “That lasted three weeks,’’ she said. “I stayed home because you couldn’t get tested.’’ The Coronavirus Outbreak › Frequently Asked Questions Updated August 17, 2020 Why does standing six feet away from others help? The coronavirus spreads primarily through droplets from your mouth and nose, especially when you cough or sneeze. The C.D.C., one of the organizations using that measure, bases its recommendation of six feet on the idea that most large droplets that people expel when they cough or sneeze will fall to the ground within six feet. But six feet has never been a magic number that guarantees complete protection. Sneezes, for instance, can launch droplets a lot farther than six feet, according to a recent study. It’s a rule of thumb: You should be safest standing six feet apart outside, especially when it’s windy. But keep a mask on at all times, even when you think you’re far enough apart. I have antibodies. Am I now immune? As of right now, that seems likely, for at least several months. There have been frightening accounts of people suffering what seems to be a second bout of Covid-19. But experts say these patients may have a drawn-out course of infection, with the virus taking a slow toll weeks to months after initial exposure. People infected with the coronavirus typically produce immune molecules called antibodies, which are protective proteins made in response to an infection. These antibodies may last in the body only two to three months, which may seem worrisome, but that’s perfectly normal after an acute infection subsides, said Dr. Michael Mina, an immunologist at Harvard University. It may be possible to get the coronavirus again, but it’s highly unlikely that it would be possible in a short window of time from initial infection or make people sicker the second time. I’m a small-business owner. Can I get relief? The stimulus bills enacted in March offer help for the millions of American small businesses. Those eligible for aid are businesses and nonprofit organizations with fewer than 500 workers, including sole proprietorships, independent contractors and freelancers. Some larger companies in some industries are also eligible. The help being offered, which is being managed by the Small Business Administration, includes the Paycheck Protection Program and the Economic Injury Disaster Loan program. But lots of folks have not yet seen payouts. Even those who have received help are confused: The rules are draconian, and some are stuck sitting on money they don’t know how to use. Many small-business owners are getting less than they expected or not hearing anything at all. What are my rights if I am worried about going back to work? What is school going to look like in September? It is unlikely that many schools will return to a normal schedule this fall, requiring the grind of online learning, makeshift child care and stunted workdays to continue. California’s two largest public school districts — Los Angeles and San Diego — said on July 13, that instruction will be remote-only in the fall, citing concerns that surging coronavirus infections in their areas pose too dire a risk for students and teachers. Together, the two districts enroll some 825,000 students. They are the largest in the country so far to abandon plans for even a partial physical return to classrooms when they reopen in August. For other districts, the solution won’t be an all-or-nothing approach. Many systems, including the nation’s largest, New York City, are devising hybrid plans that involve spending some days in classrooms and other days online. There’s no national policy on this yet, so check with your municipal school system regularly to see what is happening in your community. France’s scientific council, a government body that advises President Emmanuel Macron on the coronavirus crisis, said in a report in late July that “the balance is fragile, and we can change course at any time to a less-controlled scenario.” The council warned that a second wave was “highly possible” in the fall, given the current trend. The sharp rise in cases has led the government to declare Paris and the region of Marseille as high-risk zones, effectively granting the local authorities power to impose new measures aimed at containing the spread of the disease. In Paris, mask wearing had been limited to public transportation and indoor establishments, as it was in the rest of the country. But the requirement was extended to crowded outdoor areas about a week ago, and further expanded across many more swathes of the city over the weekend. Prime Minister Jean Castex warned last week that the country had been going “the wrong way” for the past few weeks, and said he wanted “to extend as far as possible the obligation to wear masks in public spaces.” The government’s reliance on face masks as a main weapon in its fight against the virus amounts to an about-face in its strategy. Early in the epidemic, faced with severe shortages of masks, the government said they were useless against the virus — contradicting its own longstanding public health policies. “I didn’t find them coherent at all,’’ said Laura Castel, 31, a high school teacher. “In the beginning, it was, ‘Don’t wear masks, they’re not necessary.’ But that’s because we just didn’t have masks, in my opinion.’’ Now that France has more than sufficient supplies of masks, Ms. Castel said, the government was “singing a new tune.’’ Perhaps because of the government’s contradictory messages on masks, people were slow to start wearing them in newly mask-mandatory zones in Paris. Along stretches of the Seine over the weekend, only about half of pedestrians had their faces covered. The police will be enforcing the measures — which will be in place for at least a month — with a fine of 135 euros, or $159. In addition to masks and tests, France now has other tools that were unavailable at the start of the epidemic, including contact-tracing teams and a contact-tracing smartphone application — though neither have been fully tested yet. As the French learn how to live with the virus, health officials have adapted by quickly moving to extinguish local outbreaks and tightening restrictions as needed. The goal is to prevent local clusters from spiraling out of control and pushing France again into a national lockdown. Anthony Rasoloarimanana, 40, a travel agent who was walking under the elevated metro tracks of Boulevard de la Chapelle in northern Paris, a new mask-mandatory zone, said he was worried that the recent period of resurgence was similar to the one just before the lockdown in March. “Have the sacrifices we’ve made over several months been for nothing?” he said of the lockdown. “That would be terrible.” Théophile Larcher contributed reporting from Paris. Monika Pronczuk contributed reporting from Brussels. The post Beaten Back, the Coronavirus Regains Strength in France appeared first on Shri Times News. from WordPress https://ift.tt/3g0JpqQ

http://sansaartimes.blogspot.com/2020/08/beaten-back-coronavirus-regains.html

#SEO #Local SEO training #daily news paper #daily news india #daily news newspaper #technology news a

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kweebtrash · 6 years ago

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Do It Well (M)

Messy Ch. 3

Pairing(s): OC X Johnny (features other members)

Genre: College AU, Fuckboy AU

Summary: Fuckboys are basically good for one thing. You hit it and quit it- except when his voice draws you in, his body keeps you there, and dumb ass feelings linger making things particularly messy.

Warnings: light mentions of BDSM, light mentions of night terrors

Features: several POV changes, masturbation, disappointing sex, sleepy sex, thigh grinding, fingering, lots of kissing, mentions of anal, mentions of bondage

Word Count: around 13k

A/N: ‘they’ and ‘she’ are used interchangeably on purpose. ‘Johnathan’ is Johnny’s contact name in Eri’s phone when she doesn’t particularly care about him lol.

Messy Masterlist Buy me a Ko-Fi Other Stories

Johnny's POV

I could barely sleep. My body insisted on tossing and turning indecisively. Each turn made my head spin and for awhile i just laid in the darkness, feeling the pulsating in my ears. The temperature in my room was fluctuating on my skin and my stomach was starting to churn into a pit of nausea. I set my hands over my eyes and tried to relax. I was clinging onto the fact that maybe her voice had brought me out of my night terror. Nothing ever freed me from them and I spent countless nights just scratching and clawing my way out all on my own. Calling her had been a mistake; just a weird accident. The problem was actually trying to convince myself of that fact. My heart raced at the prospect of her being some unhealthy cure for me to rely on.

I sat up slowly, pushing my hair back and feeling how sweat drenched it was. My bangs were getting long and had stuck to my forehead, the simple sensation making my sensitive skin crawl. Though my entire being felt heavy I managed to heave myself off the bed and head out to the kitchen. I walked through the still darkness of the apartment trying desperately not to run into anything. I felt my way to the fridge, opening the door and letting the light illuminate my still naked frame. With the water pitcher and cup in hand i guzzled down two full glasses. I set the cup down and braced myself against the counter, trying to focus on getting it together. I glanced at the time on the microwave- 6:13 am. I had to be up for work at 7 and had gotten less than 5 hours of sleep. I rubbed my temples and kicked the fridge door shut before heading back to my room.

I collapsed onto my mattress, my limbs spread out as i begged for a heavier breeze to filter through my open window. It was useless to attempt sleep now. I felt around for my phone, finding it still beside my pillow. I scrolled through the backlog of messages from the group chat until I stumbled upon the picture that Yuta had posted. When he initially sent it, i tried my best to pay no attention to it. I wasn't one for taking pictures of the people I hooked up with. Too many things could go wrong like a haphazard revenge plot. Knowing all the chicks i pissed off my dick would be plastered all over the internet if i had taken nudes. For some reason though, Yuta's photo gave off an air of nonconsent. I didn’t know for sure but it wasn’t something I was down with. Maybe Eri liked the attention or posing like that. I mean she liked just about everything else anyway. I bit my lip as i started to focus more and more on the picture. The deep violet ropes were tied into intricate patterns on her thighs and calves. Her knees were practically pushed up to ears, putting her on display. Her perfect lips were wrapped around that gag and her eyes were invisible under a blindfold.

I swallowed hard as i felt a twitch between my thighs. The camera flash had caught the glistening of her lips and accented the thick dildo stuffed inside her. Already my mind was creating flashes of fantasies and i was suddenly watching her hips squirm. I could practically hear the soft mewls and sighs she was trying to make around that gag. I wasn’t one for all that kinky shit but I’d be damned if I would give up the opportunity to fuck her like that. My right hand drifted to my stomach, my fingertips getting dangerously close to my cock. The longer I stared at the picture the harder I was becoming.

I guess it wasn't so wrong. I mean, we had fucked twice now. I knew what she looked like naked. This was like the equivalent of looking at dirty magazines like how I did when I was younger. I exhaled softly and tossed my phone beside me. The picture was already burned into my skull and the only thing i saw when my eyes were closed. I shifted a bit, settling into the mattress, as I spread my thighs and wrapped my hand around myself. The first few strokes helped fill my palm completely. I would squeeze around my head every so often before sliding back down to my base. I was imagining how deep I could be inside her, how warm and tight she would feel beneath me. The sweet smell of her perfume would fill my nostrils as I buried my face in her neck, covering her skin with rough bites. My teeth marks always looked perfect, as if they belonged on her. She would probably have something sarcastic to say at some point and I would have to shut her up with a deep kiss. The way she submitted to my tongue and let me control everything about our kisses made my entire body shudder.

I pulled my hand up to my mouth then, licking from the bottom of my palm to the tips of my fingers to add a bit of wetness to my strokes. They flowed smoother against my heated veins prompting me to spread my thighs further apart. I fisted my hand around my head trying to mimic the feeling of her muscles clenching around me. My teeth were digging into my bottom lip, the back of my head burying into my pillow as i started pushing my hips upward to meet my hand. Her name was popping up in between flashes of that picture. I barely noticed that i had actually been whispering it until I heard it mixed with a heavy groan.

Was i actually doing that? I was always too shy to make any sounds higher than a sigh but what the fuck was i doing moaning this loud? I covered my mouth quickly hoping to all hell that Jae couldn't hear me jacking off from the other side of the thin wall separating our rooms. It was bad enough that my hand was slapping against my skin as i jerked myself harder. I stilled my movements for a second, making sure that I couldn’t hear him stirring. It gave me a few moments to collect myself though I knew I was already close. Eri just had an affect on me that I despised and craved in every way. When I deemed the coast clear, i resumed my rough pulls, rolling my hips until they lifted off the mattress. I dug my toes into the bedding, keeping my feet firm as I fucked up into my hand. Fuck...just a little more. A little bit more of my cock falling deeper inside Eri. A little bit more of the way her tits bounced with every thrust. A little bit more of those lust filled gazes that begged me to make her cum. Make me cum, Johnny. Please make me cum. Pl-please…

My free hand flew to my hair grabbing it hard as thick ropes of cum painted my stomach in hot spurts. I left go of my shaft and squeezed at my balls, milking every last bit I had. My thighs were trembling just a bit as I worked to straighten out my cramped legs. There was a slight burn in my calf muscles and I flexed my toes trying to get the blood to circulate again instead of being pooled at my dick. I finally opened my eyes and exhaled deeply.

Jesus…

My cum was already starting to settle into a stickiness that i hated. Now was as good a time as ever to get up and shower. Getting out of bed was becoming a nuisance and i was getting real fucking tired of having to be a functioning adult. But who knows, maybe I'd get to work on time and actually be able to eat a breakfast sandwich and drink some coffee.

I grumbled as i got up and made my way to bathroom, trying not to slam the door shut. I turned on the faucet and put the shower on blast before stepping in. I shoved my head under the boiling spray as if it would somehow wash away all the dirty thoughts i just had about Eri.

Eri’s POV

Wyd?

Johnny's infamous line- which was code for ‘do you want to fuck?’- flashed across the bottom of a new snapchat picture he had sent me. His hand was behind his head as he reclined back in his bed, shirtless. The angle of the picture seemed to be high up and if i squinted hard enough I could see a faint mark on his ribcage. Was that a bite mark or a hickey? I stared at the unending picture as he didn't bother to set a timer for it, scrutinizing the details as I couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off.

“You alright in there?” I heard Ten say from outside of the bathroom door.

I jumped up at his sudden voice. “Yeah, yeah. I’m fine!” Damn Ten for interrupting my investigation. My eyes retreated to the picture, traveling down Johnny’s abs to that diabolical happy tail that never failed to make my thighs clench. That was when I saw it. Just at the edge of the screen there was a flash of blonde hair while gaudy sparkling pink nails rested on his hip. Had he really just asked me to fuck while another chick was still laid up in his bed? What the hell was wrong with him?

“What a fuckin’ cuckwad! Ugh, i HATE him!”

Ten poked his head in. “Uh….you alright?”

I resisted the urge to throw my phone at him. It wasn’t Ten’s fault that Johnny was a disgusting pig but I just couldn’t help the rage I felt boiling under my skin. “Nothing, I’m fine.” I lied as I got up from the toilet and grabbed my shorts from the floor.

“Did you uh...have trouble getting the plug in our something?” He followed after me quickly and I flopped onto the bed face down, taking caution not to disturb the plug he had coerced into wiggling inside me.

“No, i got it in fine.”

“You seemed pissed off…”

“I’m not.”

He eased his lithe body on top of me, placing soft kisses to my cheek and neck. “Kitten, don’t lie to me. Would me fucking you senseless help with your aggression?”

I rolled my eyes at his half sarcastic statement. “No. I just…” I didn't want to say that I was angry that Johnny had snapped me while he was with one of his stupid chickenheads. Wasn't it written somewhere in the fuckboy rule book to keep your tricks separate from one another anyway? I wasn't jealous of course. Just disgusted by his stupidity and carelessness. Quinn was far from right. I wasn't getting soft, especially not over this prick. “Nevermind. I'm fine.” I sighed and stared at the now empty notification box beside his username.

“Johnny got you fucked up?”

I almost slammed my head into Ten's at his salacious quip. “Excuse me?!”

“Well you're staring at his snapchat like it's going to kill you. What did he do now?”

“Nothing. I don't care about him or whatever he sent me.” I set my head down onto the mattress and tried to convince myself that I was unbothered by it all. Ten snatched my phone out of my hand and opened the in app camera.

“Since when have you ever been a pouty baby over some dick? C'mere.” He forced my head up again and attacked my lips with a deep and invading kiss. I couldnt help the small whimper I made as i clutched at his shoulder, trying to keep up with his sudden forcefulness. When he pulled away, a smirk was on his lips while I was still trying to catch my breath.

“What was that..?” I panted softly.

“Now Johnny can see just how busy you are and leave us the fuck alone. You're mine tonight and you know that.” He quickly typed something on my phone before handing it back to me. “Now he knows too.”

“What did you do, you little shit?” I questioned.

“Oh nothing… but if I'm not mistaken you're not supposed to be able to talk.”

Before i knew it he had removed himself from on top of me and tossed me on my back. My legs spread open easily as he looked down at me. His hands ran over my thighs and I could tell that behind those devilish eyes he was plotting something. I was going to be at his mercy. I worked tomorrow and needed to keep the marks to a minimum so I wouldn't be able to be my normal bratty self and put up a good struggle. Even though I hated being completely obedient i kept my mouth shut and only watched in curiosity. Ten slid off the bed, commanding me not to move, while he retreated to his closet. I heard the jingle of buckles and the hard snap of leather. I swallowed hard and took a deep breath before Ten trapped my wrists within the confines of the leather cuffs. He hooked them onto his headboard, making sure that I wouldn’t try and squirm away.

“You ready?”

Johnny's POV

Busy. Tch.

Busy.

I dont know why that stupid video annoyed me. I could give a rat's ass about her being gross with Ten but she didnt have to send it to me. It was bad enough that she was blowing me off to do whatever kinky shit they did. What the hell could he do that I couldn't? Tie her up or some shit? Please, that was hardly enough skill to make anyone cum. I grit my teeth and tossed my phone to the floor not wanting to think about her bullshit.

“What are you doing looking at your phone when I'm here?” Her voice was like nails on a chalkboard and I had regretted ever inviting this chick to my place. It was a spur of the moment thing. I guess someone who i had hooked up with a while ago was friends with her and she managed to find me on instagram. She was close by and i wanted to use her to get my mind off Eri. That took a turn for the worse. I had fingered her and she blew me. I came but it was far from orgasmic or spectacular. It was mediocre at best and my body seemed to have just gone through the standard reactions to get her to believe that she had made me feel good. Hell, I couldn't even remember her name. While we were in our rest period, I started to think about how much better Eri felt, against my better judgement. Our sex was on a whole other level and I knew she would be able to get me off better than this bimbo ever could. That was when I bit the bullet and snapped her. I guess it just didn't cross my mind that it was already Thursday and she had her little “date” with Ten.

Now, whatever the fuck her name was, was whining and trying to coax my attention back to her. She was practically begging me to fuck her in the most unappealing way. I tried my best to hide my eye roll and fake a smile all while avoiding her kisses. I wasn't in the mood for that...intimacy. Especially not with someone who I didnt think deserved it and probably slobbered like a dog. I guided my fucktoy's head instead to my neck, making up an excuse about how good her kisses felt elsewhere. I didn't want to fuck her, not one bit, but this annoyance and anger wouldn't get out of my head. I didn't care about making her feel good. I didn't care about touching her and I sure as hell didn't care if I made her cum. I just needed to fuck the irritation away.

It was 0 to 100 in seconds flat. I threw a condom on and went full force, balls deep inside her, angrily staring at the wall as every single last nerve in my body was worked. I could feel the vein in my neck throbbing as my teeth clenched again. I was slamming into her faster as I glared at the cracks and patterns in the drywall. They were morphing into weird shapes and making my eyes blur. I blinked a few times, trying to refocus but her voice was piercing through my eardrums. Great, a screamer. There was nothing I hated more than screamers. The grating sound just triggered something in the back of my mind that made me want to snap. I wasn't doing anything special at all yet she was screaming like it was the best dick she'd ever had. Maybe it was, or maybe she was faking it. Either way, it didn't matter. But now i had to try not to think about Eri and block out the annoying sounds.

I pressed her face into the surrounding pillows, hoping to muffle her enough that I could cum in peace. My fingers were digging into the back of her neck and her left hip as I focused my thrusts to go as deep as possible. My knees were already starting to give way a bit from having her bent over and ramming her from behind so hard so i was wishing for a swift ending. I closed my eyes for a moment and tried to zero in on the feeling of her wrapped around me but even then it was starting to feel like my skin was crawling. I tried to mask my sigh as a deep breath and not let it be known that Ms. Instagram Hookup was giving me a splitting headache. I edged my ear down to my shoulder, hearing the quick snap of the vertebrae in my neck as I tried to shake it off. I was boring daggers into the back of her skull now as she gripped the pillow and twisted it in her fists, her screams still vibrant as ever.

If only she was…

If only she had soft quiet moans that she tried to hide behind her pillowy soft lips. If only her skin felt like silk whenever it ghosted over mine. If only her nails dug into my back as she held onto me for dear life as she got closer and closer to her orgasm. If only i could trace her tattoos with my tongue and bite down on that little sensitive area by her-

Nonononono. I couldn't think about her. Not now. This couldn't happen, not when i was trying to-. Goddammit...it was useless. I could already feel myself swelling just at the prospect of Eri replacing this idiot. Why did Eri have to feel so fucking good? She was infecting my brain like a parasite and I wanted her out asap. I hated it. But god, i needed her. I kept thinking about her until this blonde dissolved into the new image of sensuality and lust i craved. My mind roamed to this morning when I saw that picture of her and made myself cum so hard that my thighs shook. I replayed her sweet shy voice saying what I desperately wanted to hear. Make me cum, Johnny. Please make me cum. Pl-please…

“Fuck, Eri…” I breathed out as my entire body shuddered and my orgasm hit me suddenly. Warmth spilled all over my cock as i rode out every last bit that I could, never wanting to let go of that feeling of cumming so deep inside her. She would reopen those scratches she left behind Monday afternoon and clamp down on me so tight that my breath would disappear. I felt a smirk cross my lips as I finally opened my eyes. Eri was gone now that the reality hit me and I was faced with my current nightmare. I could tell by the way her pale skin was turning tomato read that she was pissed off. Had I really just said Eri’s name out loud? I kicked myself internally as she shoved me off her and i fell back onto the bed.

“What the fuck did you just call me?”

Eri’s POV

“Are you okay?” Quinn asked as I stumbled into the apartment. It was almost 2am and my body was threatening to give out on me.

“Yeah, yeah. Just...the usual shit with Ten.” I kicked off my converses and went over to the kitchen to see what I could snack on. I needed something to give me some semblance of energy.

“What did he do this time?” They said in between crunches to some chips.

“What didn’t he do is always the better question. My thighs and ass are all marked up and bruised from him spanking me and hitting me the the leather paddle. There are bite marks on my hips and they hurt really fucking bad. My clit feels like it’s gonna fall off from all the vibrations and my ass is so sore from him plowing into it.” I found a solitary granola bar in the cabinet and ripped open the wrapper before stuffing half of it into my mouth. “He was trying to not give me any visible marks but that’s like asking a kid to say they don’t want candy.”

“Why do you do this to yourself? Every single time you come home exhausted and complaining. Maybe you should just try having regular sex.”

“I do have regular sex! I literally have regular sex with everyone else, that’s why I don’t do it with Ten or Yuta. Besides, I may complain about it but I’ll be damned if it doesn’t feel good.” I shuffled over to the couch and laid down, setting my head on their chest. “Pet my hair and tell me I’m not an idiot for doing this.”

“I’ll pet your hair but I’m not too sure about the last part.” They chuckled. I sighed softly as their fingers scratched at my scalp ever so slightly. My eyes were just starting to close when they mentioned that name that I was trying to forget about. “Have you heard anything from Johnny?”

I sat up straight. “Let me fuckin’ tell you what this bitch ass fuck boy sack of shit did to me!”

“OOOOOHHH fuck, what’s the teaaaaaa? I’m ready, lay it on me!”

“I was over at Ten’s, obvi, and he sent me a snap asking me his typical w-y-d.”

“So basically, do you want to fuck?” They said.

“Yes! But get this- he had another girl laid up in his bed when he sent me the snap.” I was almost screaming at this point, the vengefulness returning in a sudden burst.

“Wait, wait, wait. Let me get this straight. He asked you if you wanted to fuck, after he had fucked some other chick and was still laying in bed with her?”

“YUP.”

“Wow...that’s...you know we should honestly expect the absolute worst from him since he’s literally a fuck boy but it’s still pretty shitty. Especially that he wanted to fuck you after he was done with her. At least take a shower or something.” They sighed. “Are you gonna get with him again though?”

“God, no. He’s a tool and I literally have a bunch of other people I can be with. He can kick rocks.”

“Oh...good.”

There was an air of silence between us which made me uneasy. “Why do you ask?”

They shrugged, quickly. “I mean, not really a particular reason. I’ve just been kinda screwing around with Jae more so I didn’t want it to be too weird since they’re roommates and all and I may invite him over. His room is a disgusting dumpster fire and I hate being in there with him.”

“Oh. No, yeah, that’s totally fine. I don’t care about that. I thought you were going to say you were going to try and get with Johnny or something.”

“I mean...it wouldn’t particularly matter because you guys were never together and only fucked twice. It wouldn’t make sense for you to be upset about it. If it was to happen I mean- all hypothetical and shit. But I’m a good friend and he’s gross so I’ll just stick to Lucas, Jae, Taeyong, Yuta, Taeil, and any other ones I happen to find along the way.”

“Wait a minute. Taeil? As in hot library, red undercut, ‘I spent all that time chilling with him at the party’ Taeil?” I asked. There was a bit of venom in my voice as this was just about to add another layer of irritation to my already peaking anger.

“Yeah, him! I went to the library because I actually needed some help but then we got to talking and stuff and it just kinda happened. It was so cute because he was a virgin and he had been so shy when I was flirting with him. He’s also really good at giving head. Like obnoxiously good for a virgin.”

“Well I guess that’s one more person I can say that I wanted to get with but you got to him first.” I rolled my eyes and got up slowly from the couch. “I’m gonna go to bed now.”

“Aww, Eri, you can still have him! You don’t like virgins anyway. Remember what happened with-”

“Yes.” I snapped. “I remember. It’s fine. I actually need help for my class so I will ask him to help me study. You know, real study so I can actually pass.”

I saw the pout on Quinn’s face and would almost feel bad about my wisecrack if it wasn’t for the fact that this always happened. It wasn’t my fault that all they did was laze around and barely go to their classes because they couldn’t figure out what they wanted to do with their life. I didn’t even try to disguise my eyeroll and instead retreated to my room, shutting the door tightly behind me. Fridays were my off days from classes and I didn’t have to go into work early. I could use the day to recover and I would be back in time before the radio show. The radio show…

I frowned just at the thought of hearing Johnny’s voice coming through the speakers. I wouldn’t listen to it tomorrow. No way in hell. I was going to block out every possible trace of him. I tossed off my clothes and pulled on an oversized shirt and some shorts before burrowing under my comforter. I wanted to be a silent burrito that could disappear under the safety of my blanket and never resurface. I closed my eyes and curled up into my usual fetal position, ready to settle into sleep when I heard my phone vibrate. I had tossed it onto the bed while I changed and it was buzzing beside my head now. I sighed and pulled it close to me, annoyed at the brightness of the screen. I had thought it would be Ten, telling me that I had forgotten something at his place but instead it was a text message from the last person i wanted to have contact with.

Johnathan: had fun with ten?

I shoved my face into my pillow and screamed. I wanted to throw my phone across the room but all i could do was think about a dozen or so things I wanted to say back to him. It to burn, to sting, and piss him off as much as he pissed me off. I decided to snap a quick picture of the bite marks that trailed up my thighs towards my hips. I sent it off with a retort;

Oh tons. Way better than what you probably had with malibu barbie

A few minutes passed by without a response and I thought I had gotten rid of him until my phone lit up again.

Johnathan: what?

Johnathan: who’s malibu barbie?

I rolled my eyes and turned onto my left side to try and ease the pressure on my bites.

The blonde chick you forgot to cut out of your snap. I saw her. Dont particularly like being a booty call after you’ve fucked someone else.

Johnathan: Oh...

Johnathan: that’s why i wanted you to come over

Johnathan: but fuck me i guess

Johnanthan: or not lol

You’re literally a fuckin’ douche, you know that?

Johnathan: eh so i’ve been told.

Johnathan: but like what’s the big deal anyway? You fuck a bunch of people too

Yah but i’m not an asshole about it

Johnathan: that video begs to differ. You think i wanted to see ten shoving his tongue down ur throat?

He took my phone, i didn’t even know he was recording

Johnathan: still gross

Johnathan: but whatever

Johnathan: i’ve got other people to fuck

So do i asshole.

Johnathan: cool

Johnathan: see ya

I flipped my phone over making sure that i could ignore the light from the screen. Nothing came from that conversation except him proving that I didn’t want anything to do with him. I pulled my comforter to my neck and could already feel the tension headache mounting. I was fine with never talking to him again. He dug that hole for himself. Maybe i would still go after Taeil. If he really was as good at head as Quinn had made him out to be he was already a thousand times better than Johnny in my book.

Johnny's POV

It had been close to two weeks since that fiasco where I said Eri’s name when I was in bed with that other girl. I hadn’t told anyone about it and I hoped to all hell that she hadn’t said anything either. College chicks were notorious for talking shit behind everyone’s back. Last thing I needed was word to get out and it ruining my reputation of the “hit it and quit it” king. I would never hear the end of it from the group chat.

It had also been two weeks since Eri and I’s final conversation. There wasn’t a single text or snap exchanged between us. We barely even acknowledged each other during class. I sat as far away from her as possible and she always left the second the professor let us out. I didn’t bother to try and reach out to her either. Maybe it was just better this way. The further away from her I was the better. My body felt like it was going through the ringer anyway- alternating between going to the gym, my three jobs, and school- i was hardly getting any sleep. My classes were blasting me with projects left and right, I had to make more promotions for the club I Dj’d at on top of performing there, Jae and I had to constantly make up new material for our radio show, my bartending job wanted me to work weekdays now, and what’s worse was I hadn’t even had time for any hookups. My bed had been barren even though I had gotten plenty of offers. Dozens of messages were left on read and I was almost starting to think I’d never get any ass with how busy I was. I couldn't catch a break.

I had a closing shift today and halfway into the afternoon rush I was ready to book it. My shoulders were already killing me and my feet were throbbing in my work boots. Only 5 more hours to go. I sighed softly as I set down the frappuccino on the counter, calling out the customer's name before heading back to the register to take care of the next one. “What can i get you?” I hadn’t really bothered to look up as I was used to customers just blurting out their orders as soon as they got to the counter. When that didn’t happened I glanced up over the rim of my glasses and wanted to scream.

“Shit.”

“Fuck.”

“What are you doing here?” I spat.

“I guess I can’t go anywhere around this town without seeing your ass around.” She replied.

“It could possibly be because we go to the same college, have the same class, and now you’re in the damn coffee shop I work at.”

“I can’t get a coffee now, either?”

“You can get it and leave.”

“Well that’s no way to talk to a customer. Maybe I should speak to your manager.” Eri smirked as she glared up at me.

Just my fucking luck. Of course she would show up right when I was starting to finally ignore all the little intrusive thoughts about her. I had been doing okay the last week or so. My glances towards her in class were winding down to a minimum and I could at least jack off without thinking about her now. I was starting not to care entirely and she had to invade my world yet again. I sighed and fixed the frames on my face. She was just another annoying customer that was ready to push all my buttons. “Seriously, what do you want? To order I mean.” I said flatly.

She glanced up at the menu, drumming her fingers against her chin and taking her sweet ass time pretending to think her options over. I rolled my eyes before surveying her outfit choice. She looked dressed up for something which was strange to see. I had been so used to her grungy ‘never got over my scene phase' attire that it caught me off guard. She had on a black button up shirt and tight dress pants that looked like they could barely hold in her thick thighs. I settled on her thighs way too long, thinking back to the night when all i could do was imagine how good Eri would feel instead of the girl I was fucking. I internally cursed at myself. Thinking of that shit was the last thing I needed right now. Maybe it was my lack of fucking that made my brain start to devote my entire thought process to her. I wanted my hands fisted around her wrists as I fucked into her so hard that she wrapped her legs around my waist. I wanted to make her moan my name into my ear as we came hard together. My mouth was starting to go dry a bit as I swam through an ocean of lust in my head. I had barely heard her order.

“H-huh?” I blinked a few times as i stopped spacing out.

“I said a vanilla chai latte with two pumps of cinnamon” She repeated. “Please.” She enunciated the last word with such passive aggressive sweetness. What a little shit.

“Oh, right. Uh...what size?”

“Hmm...” She bit on her thumbnail coyly. She was lucky there wasn't anyone behind her. She was taking her sweet ass time and i wanted to know why.

“You know i dont have all day.” I managed to finally spit out.

“Fuck off, I’m just trying to figure out how much i need to get me through work. I'll take a grande though.”

I nodded and rang her up, drumming my fingers on the counter as she dug through her purse. She was pulling out singles haphazardly, scrounging for loose change here and there. Just to annoy her i tapped the tip jar on the counter beside me. Her eyes went wide and her cheeks flushed a little. “How about i tip you…later?”

“Ohhh so now you want to be on my dick. Hate to break it to you but pussy doesnt pay rent, babe.” I scoffed. She looked a little defeated and buried her face back in her purse in search of her change. I rolled my eyes. “Any day now.”

“S-sorry.” Her voice seemed timid now as she pushed the contents of her purse back inside. “Cancel that order.”

I raised an eyebrow at her wondering about her sudden change of heart. “Why?” I asked.

“Uh...just...I guess I didn’t have as much time as I thought. I should get going.”

That was when I realized that she didn’t have enough money. Her face was coated in embarrassment and she was fumbling over everything. It was interesting to see her so flustered to say the least. I did kind of feel bad though. Working in this shit town never paid enough to survive, even if it was just for a simple cup of coffee. I fixed my snapback and adjusted my glasses, trying to be as nonchalant as possible. “If you still want it I can use it as my free drink today. If you have enough time, that is.”

“What? No...you dont-” i had no idea why her stumbling over her words was started to appear as cute to me.

“Chill, it's whatever. Don’t worry about it. You got time for it or what?”

She nodded meekly and I grabbed a grande cup off the top of the stack beside me. I took the sharpie i had tucked behind my ear and scribbled her name on it. I went to work making her drink, seeing her drop the sparse amount of singles she had in the tip jar out of the corner of my eye. I wanted to take back what i said before about the tips. I shouldn't have teased her about it. I looked down at my watch as i capped her drink, realizing it was time for my break. I set it down on the counter and called out to her. “Hey, you got ten minutes you can kill?”

She walked over and grabbed her drink carefully. “Yeah, i uh… don’t actually have to be at work for another half hour.”

I gave her a small smile, trying to reassure her. “It’s ok. Just wait for me.”

She nodded and retreated to a table in the far back of the cafe, away from everyone in her typical emo fashion. I told my coworker i was going on break before heading out to sit across from Eri.

“Sorry about the-” she started.

I waved her off. “We all know what it's like to be broke, right? Shit sucks.”

“I meant about the tip thing...i-i mean i'm a waitress so i know how it is. I felt so bad.”

“Oh so that's why you're all dressed up.”

She chuckled lightly. “Yeah, if you want to call it that. This is the before, the after aint so pretty.” She took a small sip of her latte before setting it between us. I set my arms on the table and leaned in a bit mulling over if i should ask her to hook up tonight. I wasn't exactly sure if she was still mad at me. I had gotten over the stupid shit with the video for the most part. Ten had always been an asshole and i'm sure it was secretly part of some revenge plot he had against me because i wouldn't sleep with him. I still wished she had been with me that night though.

“Where do you work at?” i asked.

“Italian restaurant. I come home smelling like garlic bread and overpriced wine.”

“Sexy.” I smiled a bit and traced the plastic rim of the coffee cup with my index finger. “But now you can trade me pasta for coffee, right?”

“Maybe. You might have to fight Quinn for the pasta though. They always like to eat my leftovers.”

“I could probably do a little extra convincing to get you to cough it up.” Our legs brushed against one another under the table and i watched as her teeth nibbled at her bottom lip gently. The warm rosy tone on her lips accentuated the fullness of them and i was half tempted to pull her into my lap and kiss her hard. My self control seemed to be leaving my body faster than i wanted it too. My nerves were already electric at the slightest touch of her fingers across the back of my hand. The warmth of the latte and her tender caresses was making me shiver. Her fingers were following the length of mine now, drawing light designs into my skin. I uncurled my fingers from the cup, entranced by the way she moved to follow the lines of my palm. “What are you doing?” i almost whispered. My throat felt like it was starting to close up.

“Nothing, really…” Her deep brown eyes flickered up to me reflecting that she had something else on her mind. She cocked her head to the side and chewed harder on her bottom lip. “I haven’t really seen you around much. Even in class it seems like you’re gone before I even sit down.”

“I could say the same about you.” I adjusted myself in the hard seat, trying to will myself to pull my hand away. Her gentle touches and the way her leg kept nudging against mine had me feeling some type of way. I needed to calm down. “But after our last conversation I guess I just thought you wanted nothing to do with me.”

“That’s for damn sure. You’re still a pig.”

“But…?”

She sighed. “But i just...i mean like...a lot of shit has been going on with my life and I haven’t had a break.”

“A break? You have half of Asia in your bed and you cant catch a “break”?” I scoffed and rolled my eyes. “Seems unlikely.”

“I do not have half of Asia in my bed, shut up!” She shoved at my shoulder.

“Are you just going down the line and checking each country off? Like a yellow fever bucket list?”

“Oh my fuckin’ god. It is not like that at all! Ya’ll just happen to like all hang out together and it just like...happened, ok?! I get with other people. All kinds of people. Disappointing people even.”

“Yeah, yeah. I’m sure that’s exactly how it happened.” I stole a quick sip of her latte. “Who disappointed you?”

Eri waved me off and tapped my hand so i could let go of the cup. I didn’t let it go. “No one you know. A random guy. He was wack. Like...really wack. He had the audacity to ask me if I came and I was like ‘yeah to my fucking senses’.”

“Fuck!” I almost choked on another sip of the latte. “Did you seriously say that to him?!”

“Uh, yeah! He was basically using me as a human fleshlight which made no sense. I can’t believe i’m telling you this. All it’s gonna do is inflate your ego.”

“Wow, rude. It’s not inflating my ego. But I will soothe yours. “Malibu Barbie” wasn’t that great either. I honestly have never wanted to bolt so fast out of there.” I didn’t dare speak of how much i thought about her instead.

“So if i’ve had a shitty hookup and you’ve had a shitty hookup, why aren’t we hooking up?”

“Oh my god, because you were being a dick about the whole snap thing!” I protested.

“That’s because you were an asshole who sent a gross ass picture and had an ever more gross response.”

“Oh yeah? What about the video of Ten’s tongue down your throat?”

“I didn’t even send it! He did!” She pouted and crossed her arms in front of her chest. “Whatever, let’s just call it fucking even.”

“Sounds like you’re desperate for dick.” She opened her mouth to say something then snapped it shut quickly. I tried to hide my laughter but it felt so good to beat her at her own game.

“I am not desperate for dick, ok? I just figured if you wanted to we could…besides it sounds like your track record hasn’t been that great either.”

“There hasn’t been a track record for like two weeks actually. Life’s just...kicking my ass I guess. A lot of shit to do and not enough time to fuck.”

“I don’t believe that one bit, Johnny. You always find time to fuck.” she laughed and set her hand under her chin. “Anyway it would be nice to just have a regular kind of fling, you know? With someone who’s not a big cuddly baby or wants me to be tied up and tortured for hours.”

“Wow, I’m shocked. You don’t want to be tortured? Are you feeling ok? Sure you don’t have a fever?” I set my hand on her forehead pretending to feel her temperature.

“Oh shut up! You sound worse then Quinn.” She laughed. “I’ve just been so tired lately. Sometimes I just want something simple that feels good but it’s been a little hard to find someone who can do it and do it well.”

“Hmm, well when you find someone let me know. It sounds great.” I chuckled a bit, being a glutton for punishment and wanting to see her smile some more.

“Jerk.” Eri kicked my leg playfully. “All i’m saying is...i mean...If you're not too tired-”

“Yes.” I said a little too fast for my liking.

There it was- her smile. Soft, a little shy, and charming in a way that you’d never expect from her. “You can come to my place this time. I usually get home around 10:30.”

“Yeah, same here. Text me your address?”

She nodded and chewed at her lip again, just for a second or two, a habit that was beginning to drive me to insanity. She seemed to do it every time she was hesitating, preparing to do or say something that was going to send my mind into vivid dreams about never leaving her bed. Now I could only concentrate on my desire for her lips. I wanted them on mine, on my neck, on my cock, everywhere. She seemed to have other plans though. She bought my fingertips to her lips, pressing tender kisses against each one. I wanted to pull my hand away again, especially before someone noticed, but the way her warm lips felt on my skin had me on edge. “E-Eri?” I panicked.

She shrugged nonchalantly. “Just remembering how good these felt down my throat is all.”

My eyes went wide. I cant believe she had actually said that. “You’re fucking ridiculous, you know that right?” I laughed a bit, trying to ignore the way my cock was twitching in my jeans. I sat up a little straighter in the chair, not wanting to get a damn chub at work.

“Why? Because you were thinking the same thing?”

“Ah...um…” My mouth wasn't getting those snappy comebacks out quick enough now. “Shut up.” It was the only thing I could come up with as a retort.

She smirked and I knew she wanted to have the last jab just to say she was better at reeling me back in. “Well i should get going now. Don't want to be too late.” We stood up at the same time and I was sure neither of us wanted to leave just yet. I looked around for a moment, making sure that I wouldn't be within the sight of someone who could get me fired, before cupping her chin in my hand. I guided her towards me, my head already angled for a kiss. My watch went off suddenly, signaling the end of my break. Of course. We both let out little exasperated sighs.

“Guess I have to go now too.” I leaned down just enough so that our lips were close but weren’t touching. “See you tonight.”

I left her then, trying not to look back at her and show how much i wanted her. I hoped the rest of my shift passed by fast. I couldn't wait to get in her bed.

Eri’s POV

I flipped my hair back, running my fingers through it as I finished towel drying. My feet had been killing me but i managed to take a shower and get the smell of garlic off me. It was already nearing 11:30 and i was ready to crawl into bed and pile blankets on top of me. In fact I was already climbing into bed when I heard a knock on the door. Shit. Johnny. I had totally forgotten that I invited him over. I groaned, wanting to kick my past self for being endlessly horny for him even though he didn’t give me the time of day. Stupid big dick bastard. I trudged over to the door wondering if there was possibly a decent way to say “Go the fuck home I’m tired.”

I opened it and was met face to face with his hands propped up on either side of the door way. He licked his lips as soon as he saw me, a smirk toying at them. The ends of my hair were still wet and dripping onto my tank top, darkening the fabric and flushing me with cold. “Hey.” Was all he said. I pulled away from the door allowing him in. I could smell the freshness of his cologne mixed in with with the slight fruitiness of his shampoo. Thank god he took a shower too at least. I gave him the once over, my eyes resting at his sweatpants, as he kicked off his sneakers. Though i was dead tired there was still a part of me screaming to let him fuck me.

Johnny looked around my apartment that was significantly cleaner than his. “Nice place.”

“Mhm, my room doesn't even have a pile of clothes on the floor. Or empty Starbucks cups and condom wrappers.”

“Hah hah, very funny. Which one is yours anyway? Oh wait never mind, it’s the one with the giant poster of a band who's logo looks like a bunch of twigs thrown together, right?”

“Oh no. That's totally Quinn's room.” I ignored his stupid wisecrack and headed towards my room with him following me. The soft sounds of my spotify playlist melted into the room filling it with smooth, jazzy feminine vocals. I had a three wick candle burning and my lights already dimmed making it look like i was intentionally trying to seduce him. However, this was all my plan for heading the fuck to sleep.

“Uh...what's going on here?” Johnny asked, a very stunned expression on his face.

“Ok...to be honest I forgot you were coming over. This is how i like to fall asleep sometimes so I know it looks seductive but it ain't for you, homie.”

“I was about to say, damn, buy me dinner first.” He headed over to my bed and laid down, folding his hands behind his head. I rolled my eyes and crawled in beside him.

“I think we're already passed the ‘buy me dinner’ point, dont you think?”

He shrugged and looked up at me. “I still like to eat.” He moved his hand to cup my chin pulling me closer for a tender kiss. His tongue licked at my bottom lip slowly before he pressed his lips against mine fully. He wasn't trying to invade my mouth just yet but the warm sensual fueled caresses made my heart thunder. My hand settled on his chest feeling the soft thrum of his heart beneath my fingertips as I eased myself over him. I straddled his waist and settled the center of my panties against the slight bulge in his sweats.

“You’re not wearing underwear, are you?” I chuckled and sunk my hips down against him.

“Hell no. Why should I? You were just gonna-” He interrupted his sentence with a loud yawn, covering his mouth quickly. “Fuck, sorry.”

“Oh, am I boring you now?” I teased.

“No...no of course not. I’ve just been drained. But I wanted to hook up. Like...really wanted to, especially after today.”

I nodded. “Me too. That’s why I still invited you here. But you can stay if you want.”

He sat up quickly, almost knocking me off him. “I don’t sleep over. Ever.”

“Yah, Quinn has the same rule too but it’s no big deal. I mean we’re both tired.”

“Nah, I’m chill. I’m gonna go.” He tapped my thigh, signaling for me to move. “Get up.”

I pressed my chest to his, kissing up his neck towards his ear. “Relax, Johnny. You think I’m gonna fall in love with you just because you wake up next to me? That’s gross.” I nipped at his ear playfully.

“No, you don’t understand. There’s a reason I don’t sleep over. Can you get off?”

“What’s the reason?”

He sighed and rolled his eyes. “If you’re not gonna get up then I’m gonna throw you off.”

“Oh I fuckin’ dare you. You will get the beating of your life.”

“What’s your short ass gonna do?” He lifted me up swiftly into his arms and stood up as I tried not to scream in fear of him actually tossing me. I whacked his shoulder, feeling him start to let go.

“Johnny!! Don’t you dare!”

He let me fall a bit before catching me again, making me squeak and reel back towards the bed. He was already laughing at my struggle, especially since I was trying to grab at anything from the bed to pin myself down. My hand managed to wrap around my pillow and i swung it at him, catching the side of his head.

“You little shit!” He dropped me into the mattress, almost falling onto me himself. My legs were splayed out to the side as i giggled and tried to hit him again. Johnny blocked my attempt, snatching the pillow and hitting me instead. “How do you like that?!”

“Jerk!” I wrapped my legs around him, pulling him closer to me. “That all you got?”

“Well I’m not gonna spank you if that’s what you’re after.” He smiled and lowered his head to give me another kiss. “You’re really annoying, you know that?”

“Mhm, sure I am.” I wrapped my arms around his neck. “Kiss me again.”

He licked my lips before whispering against them. “Say please.” I pouted and tried to connect us but he pulled away a bit, his hand tangling itself in my hair to keep my head back. “No. Say please.”

I sighed. “Please?”

He gave me a quick peck on the lips. “There.”

“Ass. You made me say please and that’s what you give me?” I slid my hands down his back, slipping them under his cut off shirt.

“Well what more do you want from me, hm?”

I swallowed back, almost afraid to say what was clawing at my tongue. “Fuck me...”

Johnny kissed along my jawline as he pulled my hands from under his shirt and pinned them above my head, almost mimicking our first time together in his room. “Yeah? Do you want to cum that bad?”

I nodded, nipping at his throat ever so slightly. “Do it so i can fall asleep.”

He sucked his teeth. “You idiot.” he laughed, a deep kinda awkward staccato. It was the first time I had ever made him laugh with something I said; the first time we had ever really been personable with each other. The playful banter mixed in with the slow teasing was making butterflies infest my stomach. I was staring up at him, watching those warm honey eyes crinkle just a bit through his smile. And just for a moment, the dim lighting, the candle, the music; it all sent me to a warm and vulnerable place. That place was dangerous territory and i was tip toeing on a fine line I was never supposed to cross.

“We didn't think this through, did we?” He said, yawning again. “What if I fall asleep fucking you?” He was joking but there was a slight thrill in his words for me.

“Then you'd stay inside me all night and you'd be the first thing I felt in the morning.”

His face and ears flushed so fast that I was caught off guard by that instance of embarrassment. “U-uh...w-what?”

“I told you I wanted you to fuck me.” I said. “So do it. Until i cum, until we fall asleep, whatever. I just need it.”

He gulped audibly as his eyes fell to the wayside. He didn’t say much further, only buried his face against my neck to lash soft licks against it. I exhaled softly, drifting my eyes closed and focusing on the heat of his body pressing into me. His kisses were turning into eager bites as his head traversed the expanse of my chest. His tongue wrapped around my nipple through the damp fabric teasing it until my breath eased into tiny gasps. I managed to wiggle my leg between his thick thighs, nudging against the bulge in his sweats. A delicate moan stayed trapped in his throat as his hips took the opportunity to create friction against me.

His hands finally released their grasp on mine and I drew my fingers up to the nape of his neck. Meanwhile, he reconnected our lips making the kiss heavier, deeper, slower. All the attention was starting to make them tender and my head felt like it was swimming. It wasnt like this was the first time we had had sex but it felt...more intimate and i had no idea why. I longed for a just another spare moment to recover again. With a soft shove i managed to create some space between us. Johnny looked down at me, raising a brow in confusion. “You good?” He asked, licking his lips

I ignored the back and forth thoughts in my head; weren’t you supposed to fall asleep? Weren’t you supposed to not care that he hadn’t texted you in two weeks? Weren’t you supposed to ignore the fact that everything he did, no matter how stupid, made you crave his attention, his body, his touch? He always made me second guess my intentions but i had to keep them hidden. We were just fuck buddies after all. Nothing particularly serious even though i lived to have him inside me. My stomach continued to do flips while my brain floated between thoughts. I simply nodded at him and encouraged him to continue. His thumbs descended under the waistband of my shorts easing them down until i was able to kick them off. His next move was pulling my tank top over my head and tossing it behind him so i was presented just for him.

He placed a winding trail of kisses from my belly button up to my breast before he eased a warm bite over my nipple. I pressed my lips into a thin line, trying to suppress a heavy moan, especially when his large hand pried my thighs open. His fingers drifted between my folds, sliding through the slickness that had already begun to gather. With a gentle push his finger tip made its way inside, making small thrusts before sliding back up to wrap tantric circles around my clit. As he explored the most eager of places, my hand found itself anchored in his hair as I was determined to keep him close. I pulled slightly and a deep groan rumbled from him as he tilted his head towards the tugs. With that simple distraction I worked my thigh against him, feeling his cock, hard and needy, beneath the thin fabric of his sweatpants. He rutted against my thigh, grinding into my bare skin greedily.

“Pull my hair again.” he groaned. Now it was my turn for my face to flush in surprise. Though it was the most basic of turn-on’s, i never expected Johnny to like it.

“Um...o-okay.” I gave his hair another tug and it seemed to set off a chain reaction: another groan and rough kiss, another rough grind against my thigh, another thrust of his finger as it curled against my walls ever so slightly. I arched up into him, one hand steadying his wrist while the other gripped at his shoulder, almost clawing at his stupid shirt that I didn’t want on him any longer. I thrusted my hips into his hand wanting him to add more fingers to stretch me out just as bad as he wanted the continued friction against his cock. Even his lips were still calling out for attention. With his forehead pressed against mine i stole a few hot presses before trapping his bottom lip between my teeth and diving my tongue into his mouth. A second finger joined the first and quick curls had his knuckles pressed against almost every sensitive area within me. My nails dug indentations into his wrist and I could barely wait any longer.

“I got some condoms on the dresser.” I mumbled through the soft mewls I was making. He nodded, showing a bit of irritation that we had to separate and almost making me whine as he pulled away. He treaded over to my dresser while I found the strength to adjust myself on the bed, securing the pillow under my head.

“Where at-?”

“In that little box on the top. I got some magnums in there just for you.”

“How thoughtful.” He plucked one out and held it between his teeth as he pulled away his clothes. He tore the wrapper open, spitting out the strip of gold before easing the rubber on and rejoining me. When we reconnected, he guided my hand to his covered cock while his fingers resumed the deep pressure inside me. My palm gathered the lubricant that decorated his tip, adding extra pleasure to my long strokes to his shaft. His eyes fluttered closed and he dove his face into my neck, hiding the shy look on his face. My heart was starting to pound and i couldn't help but pathetically whimper out his name. It earned me a small bite to my collarbone and a rough buck into my hand.

“Need you…” He breathed. I nodded and wrapped my legs around him, settling him in his rightful place between my thighs. I pulled the covers over us securing our warmth from my air conditioned room. He kept himself propped up so he wouldn’t crush me, his temple cradled in the palm of his unoccupied hand. He looked down at me with a sleepy smile on his face and I couldn’t help but laugh.

“You are so out of it. Do you want to stop? You can just sleep, you know.”

He shook his head quickly and pushed his bangs back. “I’ll sleep after you cum, trust me. I’m fine. Just tell me what you want, ok?” He whispered against my shoulder. Of all the things I had said and done in the bedroom I had no idea how to even began telling Johnny my wishes without turning into an embarrassed puddle. When i didn’t respond verbally he sent a confused look my way. “Eri?”

The way he said my name made me clench and ache for him. I still couldn’t fathom saying anything but i managed to wrap my fingers around his shaft and let him slip between my lower lips. He caught onto my miniscule movement and edged his hips towards me over and over as the ridge of his head ghosted over my clit and filled me with excitement. I slid my arm underneath his, clutching at his shoulder tight as i buried my face in his chest, keeping my moans to myself. Every once in awhile he would sink his tip into me, testing the waters of my comfort. His shaft was easily spreading my slickness between us but having him fill me after so long was seeming to become a reoccuring challenge. He flittered kisses between my neck and shoulder while his hand tangled itself within my hair, softly scratching at my scalp. The other now took up residence on my hip, pulling my thigh around his waist as he started his slow and aching descent inside me.

My nails dug into his shoulder then as a weak moan escaped me. He muttered curses into my skin until he sunk in as far as he could go. “You okay?”

I simply nodded and squeezed my leg around him tight as my hips met his in an encouraging dance. He accepted my welcoming movement as an invitation to continue and started his languid thrusts, pulling out almost all the way before refilling me. My walls stretched around his shaft greeting each thrust with a small clench that already had every muscle in his back tensing. My fingers spread across his shoulder blades feeling the strength beneath his skin as he rocked himself into a steady rhythm. The hand remained between us spread my outer lips open feeling each push and pull. Every once in awhile i would meet my clit with eager strokes, drawing more pleasure out of me.

His eyes drank in the sight of my hand between us before returning to see me still hiding in his chest. He gripped my chin within his slender fingers, forcing our eyes to connect. “Let me see you.” He licked his lips slowly and exhaled. “Don’t hide from me. I want to see that fucked out look on you face.”

My eyes went wide for a moment. Literally, he picked this time to ruin such a perfect moment with yet another one of his gross porn lines. “Boy if you don’t-”

“Relax, I’m joking! I just wanted to hear you tell me to shut up or say that you like it better when i dont talk.” He laughed before sliding his arm around the small of my back and pulling me completely flush against him. “Call me a glutton for punishment I guess.”

“Yeah, you’re something all right.” I said. “A pain in the ass and-” I was cut off again by Johnny sitting back on his knees and pulling me up into his lap. I didnt know how it was possible but every inch of him felt deeper inside me. I covered my mouth and clung onto him as his hands cupped my ass.

“You good babe?” He smirked.

“Fuck...sh-shut up.” i buried my face in his neck as his hips focused all their attention into plowing up into me. All my thoughts were lost. My mouth ran dry and i could barely focus on anything else but the heated feeling in my stomach. He had only just begun and my thighs were already quivering with each harsh jerk.

“That's all i wanted to hear.” he whispered. His teeth were cutting across the skin of my collarbone, nails dragging devilish scratches across my ass cheeks, and forcing my hips to roll with his thrusts. The feeling was overwhelming and i could feel my eyes watering through how tightly they were squeezed shut.

“Please…” He stilled for a moment and i exhaled a breath i hadnt known i'd been holding. With my limbs clamped around him tight i finally begged him to make me cum, so desperate for the release i had missed for weeks. And even more desperate for that feeling of him swelling inside me and filling me with his warmth. “Make me cum, Johnny. Please make me cum. Pl-please…”

When he didn’t move for a few more seconds I looked up at him wondering exactly what he was thinking. In reality, I wanted to go back into hiding and ignore the fact that I had just begged a man to make me feel good but the look in his eyes snatched my breath away completely. Johnny pulled my head against his, crashing our lips together in a fevered rush. He continued to fuck up into me at a slow but harsh pace, stirring that astounding feeling inside me again and making me clench tight. I cupped his face in my hands, sliding a moan past his teeth while his thumb made my clit throb with renewed fervor. In a few short circles and raw thrusts i melted against him feeling all the pent up tension i had release into a fatiguing rush of pleasure. I slumped into his arms trying to regain what little strength i had left. He was rubbing my lower back gently while his other hand pushed my hair away from my face.

“Need to lay down?”

I nodded quickly and he slid out of me carefully, laying me onto the mattress. My body instantly curled up and i pulled my pillow close, gripping the case tightly. I could only hear his breaths evening out beside me until it shifted into quietness. I thought he had fallen asleep to be honest. I peeked my head up and poked his side a little, watching him twitch.

“What?’ he groaned.

“I thought you were going to sleep after you made me cum.” I chuckled.

“Hmm, I’d get there faster if you didn’t bug me.”

“Oh now you’re grumpy.”

“I’m not grumpy. I’m just waiting.”

“Waiting for what?”

He rolled his eyes and gestured towards his dick. “Ya know…”

“Oh my god, idiot, you can cum. You at least know how to make me feel good first. You’re like a unicorn in the Noah’s Arc of fuckboys.”

“What kind of fuckin’ analogy is that?!” He sucked his teeth and shoved me away playfully.

“It means you’re rare and shouldn’t actually exist. But I’m glad you do.”

He raised a brow at me. “You’re...glad I exist?”

“I-I mean for the sole purpose of fucking, okay?!” I buried my face in my pillow wondering why he made me act like such a goddamn fool.

“Of course. Just for fucking. Nothing else.” Johnny made his way on top of me, sliding back into me with the softest of grunts. I bit down on the pillow, sucking in a breath before relaxing under his touch. Thankfully, his thrusts weren’t as eager, instead they were lengthy and drawn out as his hands braced themselves against the bed beside mine. My eyes fluttered shut for a moment as I almost fell into sleep by just enjoying the way he felt inside me. His rhythmic sighs mimicked the way his fingers kept curling and trembling, as if looking for something to tether himself too. I inched my hand closer to the warmth of his palms, offering my wrist as a vision of comfort. Instead my hand disappeared under his, fingers intertwining with his harshly as his hips stuttered. I swallowed hard and tried to will my hand to move away from his but it was like I was frozen-trapped in a flurry of too intimate of emotions. Before I knew it the rush of his warmth spilled within the condom and my name tumbled from his lips in a deliciously low groan.

He lowered himself on top of me, taking care that he wouldn’t crush me although that effort was futile. His face was buried in the back of my neck and I expected him to let my hand go but we remained together. All i could do was stare at our hands, my heart racing against my ribs that were pressed against the mattress. “Um...Johnny?” I asked, my voice barely above a whisper. He didn’t answer me and I couldn’t even look back at him with the way he was positioned on me. I laid there, trying to escape my feelings while my body relished in the way we stayed connected.

Johnny’s POV

I shifted a bit, feeling my body sticky with sweat. I thought I was having another night terror but I actually felt...normal in my head. Had I really slept through the whole night without any suffering? I opened my eyes and noticed the dim glow of a candle that was way too close to burning out. A sweet coconut smell was floating round me and I found that my face was buried in a sea of curls. I looked down at the body spooned against me and came to a grim realization. Fuck. I slept over.

I looked around frantically wondering what time it was. Maybe I had only been asleep for like twenty minutes. Twenty minutes wasn’t so bad. Her alarm clock was reading otherwise though. It was almost 6 am. Shit. Shit. SHIT. I tried to untangle myself from her but it was difficult given the fact that I was still inside her. I wanted to fucking kick myself. What the hell was the matter with me?! Even our hands were stuck together! I needed to leave asap. I separated our hands and slid out of her slowly, my body shuddering when I lost the feeling of her tight warmth around me. Why did it feel that good to be inside her all night?

I was losing my touch and my mind. There was no way the person i was a month ago would ever do this. I finally crawled out of the bed and tossed on my clothes before running out into the living room. I almost crashed into Quinn head on but was just barely able to stop myself. She stared at me with a half sleepy look on her face.

“What are you doing here?”

“Uh…..” I had no idea how to respond and i really didnt want to say ‘hey i fucked your roommate and actually stayed over and held her stupid hand all night like a fucking pussy ass baby!’. She would probably blab to Jae who would tell everyone else in the group chat and I didn’t want to be hounded by those idiots. The only thing I could think of to do was keep running. “Bye!” I left her standing there and grabbed my shoes, not even bothering to put them on, before flinging the door open. I headed down the stairs of the apartment building almost two at a time, not stopping until I got into my car. I slammed my hand against the steering wheel completely pissed at myself. I didn’t want to admit it but an annoying little voice was screaming at the back of my skull. Maybe I did like her.

JohnJae chat

Jae: what time did you come home last night bro?

Johnny: idk like...3 or 4 or sum shit

Johnny: why

Jae: i thought i heard you, lowkey thought i was dreamin tho

Jae: who was you with?

Jae: eri?;)

Johnny: no just some random chick

Johnny: doesnt matter

Jae: dont lie to me. I know you already. U keep hanging with her

Johnny: so what? i like fuckin her. Shes btr then half the tricks ive gotten with tbh

Jae: well…

Jae: ive kinda been hooking up with quinn

Jae: the blonde

Jae: eri's roommate

Johnny: yah i know who she is stupid. but you mean to tell me all this time ur doggin me about eri ur fuckin quinn again?

Jae: ehh like...6 or 7 times since the party

Johnny: BRO WTF

Jae: what?! Shes like horny ALL the time so she calls me

Jae: 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️

Johnny: hollup

The Boys Group Chat

Johnny: jae muthafuckin hyun over here fuckin quinn like 12 times. Yall talk about me being whipped for eri what abt him????!!!!

Jae: IT WASNT 12 TIMES

Lucas: yall need to back off from my women lol

Lucas: why cant you guys find other people

Ten: stop hogging them to urself

Ten: ur just the baby they take care of

Lucas: i am not a baby!!

Taeyong: its only bc they feel bad for you lmao

Lucas: fuck you. Its because i fuck them better then all of you do

Jae: MORE IMPORTANTLY

jae: johnny stayed over at eri's

Jae: i have may fucked quinn a lot but i still havent stayed over

Taeil: fuck are you serious?

Johnny: i didnt sleep over. We were just tired when we fucked

Yuta: so….you fell asleep….at her place...which means you stayed over

Johnny: it wasnt even that long

Ten: wait pause

Ten: did yall have sleepy sex

Taeyong: sleepy sex???

Ten: yeah like when ur tired or sleepy but you still wanna fuck so you go really slow. Its supposed to be like more sensual or whatever

Ten: chicks dig that shit

Johnny: i mean…

Johnny: we were just tired…

Taeil: how slow did you go?

Johnny: like medium speed? Like wtf is this the grand prix??

Taeil: did yall fucking make love???

Jae: FUCK DUDE

Jae: DID YOU

Johnny: NO

johnny: N.O.

johnny: ABSOLUTELY FUCKIN NOT

yuta: oh they did

Ten: totally had sleepy lovey dovey sex

Johnny: THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT JAE

jae: at least im still plowing quinn instead of being gross and shit

Jae: what happens if she catches feelings

Johnny: then thats her problem. I dont want her like that

Yuta: i doubt she will.

Lucas: dude ive fucked her, stayed over, got her to cook breakfast, showered with her, and have eaten her out (unlike some people) and she still doesnt want to date me.

Taeyong: again its bc ur a baby. She feels bad and has to take care of u lol

Lucas: fuck. Off.

Ten: im sure she wont catch feelings. Shes got too many other dudes giving it to her better

Jae: yeah and not doing that gay shit

Ten: jae its not gay. Its only gay if two guys are attracted to each other physically and romantically

Jae: yeah yeah whatever. That sleepy fuckin is some gay shit

Jae: hella wack

Johnny: jae is whipped af and i didnt have sleepy whatever sex or stay over

Yuta: surrrreee lets go to make believe land where johnny isnt getting soft and letting some girl control him

Ten: maybe hes the kinky one now

Johnny: idek why i bother talking to ya’ll

Lucas: im just gonna ask eri what happened

Lucas: and im gonna ask to eat her out since she probably didnt cum last night with ur soft crap lmao👅👅

Johnny: she did cum. I always make her cum. In fact she begged me too

Taeil: probs begged you to stop tbh

Yuta:😂😂😂😂

Yuta: a mood

Ten: anyway i got some 👌👌👌 pics of her from our session a couple weeks ago if anyone wants em

Yuta: ohh same

Lucas: i took a few when i was fucking her from behind for the spank bank

Taeyong: and you were saying that ten and yuta were bad. Ur doing the same thing

Lucas: NO bc im not POSTING IT for everyone to see

Taeil: u should. I mean just her. Not ur dick

Taeil: please for the love of god not ur dick

Lucas: ok fine but dont fucking tell or show anyone else

Johnny: i dont need to see that

Ten: why bc its not your dick shes fucking? Lmaoooo

Ten: show me her, show me ur dick lucas, show me everything 👅👅👅

Yuta: ur gay is showing bro

Ten: my gay is always showing. Where have you been?

Lucas: whatever I’ll send it in a bit, i’m heading over to their place now anyway

Lucas: Ill let ya’ll know what eri says

Taeyong: That johnnys completely in love with her

Yuta: gross lol

Johnny: OK BYE.

Johnny: GOOD

Johnny: BYE

Ten: What was that # you said before yuta?

Yuta: #johnnyiserisbitch

Yuta: nothing’s changed

Yuta: well except johnny getting soft

Taeil: way too soft. Keep it up and we’ll have to kick you out lol

Taeil: we fuck and leave man

Taeil: end of story.

#johnny #Johnny Fanfic #JOHNNY SMUT #johnny suh #johnny seo #NCT #nct 127 fanfic #johnny nct #nct 127 fanfiction #NCT 127 #nct smut #nct 127 smut

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headbandsandflats · 5 years ago

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Tagged by @provenance

1. are you named after anyone?

Kind of - my name was always going to be my name, though conventionally it starts with another letter. My paternal great-grandmother passed away while my mom was pregnant with me. My dad’s side of the family is Jewish and it’s a kind of tradition to honor those who have passed away by naming children using the first initial of the deceased, which is why my first name starts with a C. (My middle name is my maternal grandmother’s first name in honor of her, as she also passed away before I was born.)

2. when was the last time you cried?

I cried A LOT last night watching that clip circulating of the kids on Shark Tank promoting their late father’s invention. (Editor’s Note: I don’t even fucking LIKE Shark Tank, I just saw the clip after someone else shared it and was super touched by the children, who were similar ages to my cousins when their mom passed away, and remembered their dad being an absolute delight as a contestant on Chopped. Also I’ve been very emotionally fragile lately, for some reason, so I’m mostly blaming it on that.)

3. do you have any kids?

NO. And do NOT plan to. (Although I’m obsessed with my nephew/godson and newborn niece.)

4. do you use sarcasm a lot?

(It me.)

5. what’s the first thing you notice about people?

Height/eyes/smile.

6. what’s your eye colour?

Hazel

7. scary movie or happy endings?

Slightly melancholy or depressing endings, TBH - but of the choices above, definitely happy endings. I am what some might call a scaredy-cat.

8. any special talents?

I can regale you with quotes and lyrics from late 90s/early 00s tv shows, movies, and songs that I haven’t experienced in over a decade. Basically my mind is 90% pop culture trivia.

9. where were you born?

Queens, NY

10. what are your hobbies?

Reading, writing (lol), watching cooking competition shows, falling down wikipedia and imdb and youtube rabbit holes, going on road trips (being driven by other people), watching sports, attending any kind of live performance available.

11. do you have any pets?

WHY YES, THANKS SO MUCH FOR ASKING.

(Catsby Dickens or, formally, Sir Catsby of the Longtails)

12. what sports do you play/have played?

I stopped taking gym class after the 9th grade, replaced by movement/dance class. Does that answer the question?

13. how tall are you?

5′5″ and 3/4.

14. dream job?

I used to have a million answers to this, and now I’m not sure if there’s a job that exists that would actually make me happy or that I would be happy doing, in other news being an adult is GREAT.

15. favourite subject in school?

English, History, and Performing Arts.

(Thanks for the tag, Jenny! Not tagging anyone else, but if you can see this feel free to join in, if you want!)

#about me #ask meme #question meme #survey meme #things about me

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worldcakecakecake · 6 years ago

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Feliciano and the King of Hearts

Chosen by the gods as the Queen of Hearts from the moment of birth, we follow Feliciano’s story as he grows into royal life, learns to rule, go against age old customs, and his relationship with his husband to be, the King of Hearts.

Chapter 1 I Chapter 2 I Chapter 3 I Chapter 4 I Chapter 5 I Chapter 6I Chapter 7 I Chapter 8 IChapter 9I Chapter 10I Chapter 11I Chapter 12 I Chapter 13 I Chapter 14 I Chapter 15 I Chapter 16 I Chapter 17 I Chapter 18 I Chapter 19I Chapter 20 I Chapter 21 I Chapter 22 I Chapter 23 I Chapter 24 I Chapter 25 I Chapter 26 I Chapter 27 I Chapter 28I Chapter 29 I Chapter 30 I Chapter 31 I Chapter 32 I Chapter 33 I Chapter 34 I Chapter 35 I Chapter 36 I Chapter 37I chapter 38 I Chapter 39 I Chapter 40 I Chapter 41 I Chapter 42 I Chapter 43 I Chapter 44 I Chapter 45 I Chapter 46I Chapter 47 I Chapter 48 I Chapter 49 I Chapter 50 I Chapter 51 I Chapter 52 I Chapter 53 I Chapter 54 I Chapter 55 I Chapter 56 I Chapter 57 I Chapter 58 I Chapter 59 I Chapter 60

Posting this from Antonio’s country...my last day here actually. I’m incredibly sorry for the time it took me to post, but things were hectic and it wasn’t till the last moment that I dedicated some writing. I really enjoyed writing this chapter and I hope you enjoy reading it too!

Chapter 61

Feliciano prepared himself for the ball in his room. Well, to be honest he wasn’t doing much that moment.

He sat in a comfortable chair, the sound but the music of his chest, the familiar melody that calmed Feliciano well even in the activity and haste of a ball being initiated in the floors below him. His wear for the night was well prepared on his side of the bed, ironed, shinning, with flowers of surely the most recent picking, yet Feliciano sat with only but a white blouse, humming to the song, moving his fingers as if he was leading the notes to spread all across the room, even out in the night, his balcony door open to let that freedom.

“Feliciano, have I told you how much I love your hair,” Kandake told him, helping the arising queen with fitting his hair for the ball. Not much was to be done, the only difficulty was adding the glitter and placing the golden vine circlet crown just the right place between his princely curls.

“You flatter me too much,” he giggled. “Have you finished?”

“And…done!” Kandake just wanted to adjust a single golden leaf from the crown out of place.

“Great! Now let me do your hair!” Feliciano excited, taking an instant jump to start.

“Feliciano, I don’t think you’re familiar with my kind of hair!”

“I can still try! Just let me know if it’s hurting or I’m doing something that can damage it.” He pushed her towards a mirror, so she could keep a constant check.

“Now…hmmm,” he began to think about what exactly he was going to do.

“Feliciano, you really need to prepare yourself for the ball. In fact, I should be the one dealing with you right now.”

“Don’t worry! We have enough time!” Feliciano took a white ribbon from a desk, keeping it around his neck as he began to take Kandake’s hair to prepare into the form he wanted.

“You will surely get scolded by Ludwig,” she reminded.

“Pfftt, he won’t,” Feliciano rolled his eyes and determined in the fixing.

He remembered how in his first ball at the castle, that phrase would have him panicking, obedient, because he was so terrified to deal with Ludwig. How beautifully things had changed, how the words now didn’t mean the threat from before, whatever anger Ludwig could come with surely one he could tame and cure with their kisses, words and embraces. He was looking forward to spending this ball with him.

“Shouldn’t he be here preparing himself,” she wondered as she hadn’t spotted him in the room since she entered.

Feliciano shrugged, “he told me that there were some things he wanted to discuss with his grandparents and would prepare elsewhere.” Feliciano wasn’t really thinking about it.

“Then, shouldn’t you be dealing with the guest if he’s not able to?”

“Kandake…let me finish your hair before anything.”

The ball was the shine, the gold, the red, the expected lavishness of the castle that had the guest awing as they made their way down the halls to the ballroom. Feliciano had decided on more peaches, diamonds, red flowers to flourish at every single sight. Most vases, statues and desks were moved, bringing in more space, for the mix of visitors that came from all kingdoms this time in preparation for the coming reunion of all the royals. More chandeliers were placed than usual to alight the drinks of apple and peach wine, the jewels in their guests, the laughter that started at the opening of the large doors, all kinds of conversations swarming, bringing to life and already making this one of the many balls to remember.

Of all the Heartian royals, the first to greet the plentitudes was Ludwig Beilschmidt, descending in a wear of an opened white tail coat, embroidered elegantly in red, underneath it a rich red vest and tightened white shirt with a not too flamboyant cravat. It needed to add just a small touch. All to his suit, his pants, his boots, suited his figure excellently, having many who he passed by sway at how handsome he shone for the evening.

“And who must this be for?” Of all the annoying people he had to meet first.

Ludwig rolled his eyes but turned with the most respectful expression he could utter to welcome King Francis. “Hallo, Bonnefoy.”

“As emotionless as ever I see. Doesn’t fit how well you look,” he dared wink and Ludwig had to hold himself well from showing the roll of his eyes.

“Ludwig!” Lili greeted happily, jumping on Ludwig for an embrace that the taller had no problem giving.

Lili shone elegantly in such a simple yellow dress, with beautiful floral diamonds at the top, the same ones she had circulating around her hair as her crown. “It’s so nice to see you after everything. How have you been? How is Feliciano? We’ve been hearing some amazing things from you two!” She excited.

“Lili, what did I tell you?” Vash scolded, coming along to join them as well in his own decorated suit.

“It’s only Ludwig,” she complained.

“Lili, I have to admit, it’s not queenly acting,” Francis scolded gently.

Lili pouted and Ludwig was about to exclaim joining to her side about doing as she pleased, but when spotting a blue and green from between the crowds of other guest, he got reminded. “Where are the others?”

“They’ve just arrived and are dealing with the traffic outside,” Francis told.

Both the royal Spadians and Clubians arrived at the same instant, their doors swung in the same moment, all coming down to meet each other in an easy sight.

“Hey! Ivan! How you doing?” Alfred exclaimed unceremoniously, waving his whole body along like a child.

Ivan smiled and gave a gentle wave and smile, with it hiding the true groan he wanted to use. Elizabeta was the only one that shared a true excited greeting, while Arthur was embarrassed and tried to get Alfred to calm down.

“Where is Yao?” Ivan asked, trying to spot the Spadian jack.

“Oh, he’s, uh-” Yao was signing at Alfred to shut up, wondering if there was a chance he could head out through the other exit without Ivan noticing. “He’s…already in the ball!” Alfred came out with just in time, Arthur giving a sigh of relief.

“Ah, I must search for him instantly.” Without more to spare, he made way into the feast, greeting and bowing to those he should.

It was then that Roderich dismounted, looking over to the Spadian royals with suspicion. “He’s still in the coach, isn’t he?”

Yao thought it safe to head out, waving in greeting to another fellow Jack.

“This is a royal reunion, Yao. At one point you’ll both have to be in the same room,” Roderich warned as he made his way forward into the castle alongside his queen.

Ludwig’s movements through the halls and ballroom were slow, for every corner there was somebody calling for a chat, a greeting, a join into a drink or snack that he took to not disrespect…as well as to calm the nervousness he possessed.

“It’s nice to know your kingdom is welcoming to tribal fairies,” one such creature had told Ludwig.

“Our kingdom accepts all. I wish you luck in settling and that you continue to enjoy the feast,” he wished with a clink of their wine glasses.

“Thank you, your highness.” The group turned away and Ludwig was momentarily relieved to have freedom, until he felt someone staring him down from behind. He turned to meet with familiar jokers.

“Ludwig, it’s so great to see you again!” Dua was the first to shout and greet of the group.

All were dressed elegantly in yellow, with shines and details typical of their provinces in Diamonds. Ludwig gave them all smiles, chatting instantly on how they had been since their last meeting. He took all by turn, until finally-

“I’ve heard about how your relationship has improved.” This time, he didn’t feel that jealous flare from the last time he had met with Haris, sharing a smile and a civilized hand shake.

“It has. I’m truly glad you’re here for the night.”

“We couldn’t waste a chance of being invited by the very arising royals to the Heartian castle,” Gupta added.

“Feliciano will be ecstatic to see you all. He’s pretty late, but sooner or later he will appear,” Ludwig let them know.

“Ah, no wonder we can’t find him anywhere!” A familiar voice added, Ludwig now turning to meet the ones who had helped Feliciano and him with a good part of their traverse in Spades, as well as their companions when saving the capital city from the invading men of Khaos.

“Hello, Mei,” Ludwig turned to greet the new group, in their own flourishing blues, bowing, all except Mei and Lei, who were mostly searching for Feliciano still.

Both these groups joined to chat and speak, at one point Ludwig leaving them in his own search for Feliciano. He went back into the halls hoping to have a better meeting of him, instead, he saw two figures he could just not ignore as they passed by each other.

“You made it,” Ludwig greeted them, giving his hand to shake.

Despite how normal he tried to keep this greet, Neeraja and Priya still bowed, shinning like the very diamonds and chandeliers with blues and silvers.

“And we thank you deeply!”

“It is an honor to be here,” Priya smiled grandly.

“This will be you home for the next few days.”

“Actually…it will be for more.”

“What do you mean?”

Neeraja and Priya glanced to each other with knowing smirks.

“Have you forgotten a detail about us?”

And that’s when Ludwig remembered, “oh, yes, fortune tellers.”

“We only recommend you prepare the castle for a much longer stay than planned for your guest.”

They were about to turn and leave to other matters, but Ludwig just had to ask. “You knew all this…you knew what would happen after I entered the field.”

They turned to him once again, wondering what he meant and what he wanted to get to.

“And…you know what will continue to happen, about the alignment…the war. Is there…anything you can tell us to prepare.”

Neeraja and Priya shared glances of concern, silently speaking about what they could say, but it was quickly decided.

“No. We’re sorry, Ludwig, but we do not like to release a future that is best you keep uncertain about,” Neeraja uttered.

“We can only give you the same words of advice from before. Train, practice, learn everything you can of your power and hope that it can be the best,” Priya continued.

They bowed once again and this time surely left elsewhere, Ludwig giving them a simple wave, off then to continue on his waiting for Feliciano.

“Ah, his highness, Feliciano Vargas!” And there was the calling from one of the guards, in prepare for his entrance to the ball.

Ludwig turned, awaiting a descend from the stairs in the area. He was so sure, ready, strong enough to deal with what he will ask him later, but gazing now at his utter perfection wear and shine, it all extinguished and his mind was left in rubbish. He wasn’t alone in this, as all turned and were swayed at the Hearts arising queen. Of course, he was the subject of all this attention. He had been the main talk all this time after Augusta’s reveal, along with him being an Ace and destined to save them all. It was as if they were already staring at a god in the heavens, some already bowing, others left breathless and many just stared and admired his well proclaimed beauty.

Everything on his suit was well crafted in flowers and jewels, placed in just an elegant fashion that grew well all around him. It was tight, showing a figure that surely had many drooling, yet it was soft and comfortable, shown in the ease and smile Feliciano came down in. A silky cape followed him, long, but not reaching the floor or covering the grace he held, it flew about with him. Then there was glitter, beautiful on his hair along with the laurel crown, as well as a simple touch around his eyes.

A true star, a true shine, sucking whatever movement Ludwig could have given, left only with impression and wonder. Feliciano managed to spot him between the heavy crowd, giving him an adoring smile, eager to be near him that instant. And after nervousness, there was pride.

No matter the people there, who swooned and could only dream of having an arising royal of that magnitude, Ludwig didn’t have to worry. As he walked his way between the people, he knew there was no other Feliciano thought about, no other he was expecting, no other to hold him, to kiss him to all’s impression and make clear who was the couple that would bring strength to a coming war. It made him stand taller than the usual, for all to instantly give pass without question, for they knew that the king was coming to greet his queen.

Feliciano was close to reaching the crowds, but Ludwig reached the bottom of those stairs first, offering a hand for him to take and Feliciano practically dashed forward to it. They spun and laughed, much to the awe and impression from those who knew how rocky their relationship had been before.

“You look, well…gorgeous, beautiful…I-I…what else can I say?” Ludwig laughed.

Feliciano chuckled, “you already have me flattered. And you, look so handsome and wonderful and all mine and all I want to do is kiss you.”

“Who am I to stop that?”

“Good.” And Feliciano threw his arms around him with a greeting kiss that had the surprise even wider across the crowds. They indulged in their lips for what they wanted, a dispatch to an applaud greet of the crowds, and both waving their own back.

As it died down, as all found other attention, Ludwig and Feliciano. with their arms well wrapped, decided on joining the feast and enjoying from what would be offered. It wasn’t long until they received shouts and the wanting of others to be close to them.

“Feli!” It was a very loud familiar shout from a Dane, coming along with his own familiar group.

“Oh gods! It’s so great to see all of you again!” Feliciano quickly went to wrap his own arms around each of them, strong embraces with sways and even accepted kisses on the cheek by the arising queen.

“You have to tell me all that has happened after you left us in the diamond kingdom,” Feliciano was eager to know.

“You’re the one with a lot to tell us,” Lukas said.

“What has happened even reached us,” Berwald added.

“You’re quite famed now,” Tino said.

Feliciano blushed, “yeah, it’s…a lot to take in. But, Emil! How did it go with the ingression to the Luna Rani Academy?”

Emil heavily smiled, an excitement that grew that had Feliciano taking both his hands in a dear hold.

“I got accepted! I’m starting in a month!” And Emil joined Feliciano along in shouts and jumps as if it was the first time he got the acceptance letter.

“I’m so glad and happy for you! Oh, you’ll make an amazing student! You’ll make lots of new friends and study all kinds of things! You have to write and let me know how it all goes!”

“I’ll be glad to!”

“Feli!” And then there was the Amazon group, Martin practically tumbling Feliciano down to the ground.

“Martin, please, don’t kill him,” Elisa commented as she tried to hold the rest from crushing the poor arising queen.

The rest were loud blabbers that it was a miracle Ludwig and Feliciano could understand. More groups joined and greeted, as those of the Oralee, of the Asian provinces, the Diamond kingdom joker group and the other royals, with conversations, anecdotes, meetings and stories that could have lasted long into the night. Not to mention that they all wanted to be introduced to Augustino, all new gushes that Lovino had learned lately to just stand.

To be honest, Ludwig and Feliciano did not expect to be so heavily ambushed by so many people. Not that they minded, but they still needed an occasional breath.

Time flew, the night was coming into deeper darkness and it was quite awakening when the King, Queen and Jack took the tallest standing for the usual welcome and speech, with the reasonings of the ball, mentioning the successful track of the journey, Augusta, the fear of the coming war and finally: “-but let us now calm whatever agitations with a dance. As per tradition, let us let our arising royals begin our lead with a song of their choosing. Ludwig, Feliciano.” Queen Louis opened her arms to the welcome of the open floor left for them, the orchestra ready and anxiously waiting.

What a change that this time, Ludwig and Feliciano didn’t have to question it. Their acceptance was giving in a simple glance along with a smirk, already deciding the song. They walked together arm and arm, by the orchestra, giving a bow as a thank you to their music. As Feliciano pointed to his laurel crown with a wink, it was obvious what song was meant to be played. The composer turned to his musicians and instantly began the familiar song known well to be that of the King and Queen of Hearts.

No complains, no hatred, no disappointment, the arising royals happily took their way to the center, wishing this dance, wishing this moment for themselves if even the many eyes. Feliciano turned to Ludwig, both taking the usual ready position, making sure to be comfortable, that they were set right, assured with a smile and the blushing color even in their eyes.

The sway that began was slow, simple, leaning them into the acceptance of the very song. This time, there were real smile in their faces, a glow that jumped all over the large ballroom, a spread that was helped as Ludwig and Feliciano took bigger spaces as they moved, taking quite a design on the floor for themselves. Spins, different kinds of grasps, of extends, graceful movement in every possible way that had everyone in true wonder and impression, lost in this magic, in a truth of love shown, even as the star dancers were ignorant to all those present. When the song took its known height, the arising royals matched with its quickness, jumping and daring to try new moves that were the perfect synchronization even when it was the first time. They laughed, they enjoyed, they focused on what they could create, of how they could test their trust with the sudden new movements. Unlike the last dance they shared in a ball, they were having fun, they felt freed, they shone with beauty and even as the song came to its conclusion, they waited on that last hold for more. As all around them clapped, and as they breathed, they could only stare into their eyes, wording whatever plot for the next song.

In this new one, others began to join along, and so Ludwig and Feliciano joined in dancing around them, smiling and greeting whenever they met with other couples they knew, like Herakles and Kiku, and Alfred and Arthur. They shouted, they matched, they sang and Ludwig had never thought that he would actually want to continue along with this feast no matter the song, the people that surrounded them or even if he was getting tired.

It was around the sixth song that he realized he was running out of breath, that neither his legs or arms could take anymore, yet he laughed and smiled, happy then to just hold Feliciano with him in an ending calming sway.

Yes, he wanted him, more than anyone, anything and he knew that no time was better to solidify that union. Whatever nervousness, he tried to keep it well inside him with his breaths, his hands on Feliciano’s waist, distracted in the scent of his hair…he was wearing the perfume he gave him. They were well calmed, part of the many couples swaying in soothing motions, the light dimmed as if to give them all that moving nap. No one noticed as Ludwig signaled Feliciano to follow him elsewhere, and the arising queen, in his daze, easily followed behind him through all the lessening activity of the ball. They reached one of the large glass and colored doors, through which they could see the towering formed bushes and trees of the garden, entering into their lost, their colors, and the few lights that were lighted for the occasion, for those who wanted a stroll of the aromatic area or just wanted privacy away from all the bustling crowds of the feast. They hadn’t drunken any alcohol, and yet Ludwig and Feliciano giggled, danced and even played about the paths as if they had gone through their heavy effects. Everything looked spectacular in the night, it was a surprise it was so lonely. Why didn’t anybody else dare to enjoy from this green? These stoned pathways, particular fauna, fountain, hedges, arches, all made in a singularity of red and beauty that was definitely worth the visit, especially if you came from another kingdom. To Ludwig, it was better. All this extended space and wonder for themselves, made it more unique, serene, the seclusion for what Ludwig planned.

They reached what was either a middle or end, both of them tired, taking a sitting in a shaped white marbled bench, in an enclosure of roses and a tall tree that draped with its branches, leaves and vines, keeping them closed from any kind of reach of the party. They breathed heavily, finding calm after their thread across the garden, Ludwig especially readying for what was to come. They enjoyed from the silence, from the only rustling being the occasional breeze and their continuing breaths.

“This was a nice break,” Feliciano admitted with an appreciated smile, stretching and settling much closer to Ludwig’s side, thighs touching.

“There were more people than usual in this ball.”

“We did invite a lot,” Feliciano reminded.

“We did, but it’s nice seeing them again, make ourselves really sure that they’re doing fine,” Ludwig smiled with such a kindness that Feliciano ogled with a clear stare.

“What?” Ludwig wondered for it.

Feliciano sighed dreamily, “you look more handsome than usual when you admit you care.”

Ludwig chuckled, “I’ve always done, Feliciano.”

“You were too busy hiding it though.”

“I was, but…things have changed, haven’t they?” Ludwig reached his hand and took Feliciano’s grasp gently.

“They have and I’ve made very sure that I’ve loved every single moment of it since you opened.” Feliciano looked up and shared his other hand with his, exchanging those grasps in a loving strength.

“Yet I don’t think I’ll ever stop apologizing for how I treated you either,” Ludwig reminded.

“It’s not necessary. It’s in the past and we’ve learned to move forward and can look ahead in earnest.”

“Even with a war?”

“I’m sure we’ll beat Khaos,” Feliciano was determined as he brought Ludwig’s hand to kiss in promise.

Silence then settled, but neither minded it, their eyes could speak enough. Feliciano distracted though, in a new breeze that brought along and intensified the perfumed aroma of roses. He turned to follow it and Ludwig to determine himself in asking. His hands shook and Feliciano turned back to him instantly in worry.

“I love you,” Ludwig pushed himself to say before anything, raising a hand to take Feliciano’s face, fingers tracing well the softness, the glitter, even the warmth that he felt grow beneath his fingertips. “I want to be with you always…I want us to be together for this war.”

“And we will be,” Feliciano assured as he raised his own hand to join his.

“I was us to be together in a different way than this.”

Feliciano’s eyes widened in a moment of worry, the worst coming to his mind first. It only worsened when Ludwig stood, but calmed once he saw him kneel before him, close, taking a powerful and somehow prideful stance between his legs. He lay like this simple for a while, Feliciano now seeing clear the nervousness in his eyes.

“Ludwig…are you okay? You seem really-” Feliciano was suddenly startled by a ring directly faced towards him. He was left without a word at the wonderful shine of red of the jewel, marbled well in gold, like a rose heart tempting to grow and embrace him in its shine. It was utterly beautiful, one that could blind, shut and leave Feliciano in an utterly frozen state. It was a wonder he could stare at it properly when Ludwig was shaking, constantly gulping, sweat temping to drop from his brow.

“I-It…was supposed to be your eighteenth birthday present, but after everything…well, I hid and tried to forget about it.” The gulp he gave then, along with his inhales, were deeply heard. “I…I...made it myself…took me weeks to be able to craft it with my magic how I wanted. I still think I need to retouch it… but maybe once a year I can add something or fix it how you wish,” he eased, distracting. He had to shake his head once again to bring him back to the track he wanted to take. “I…I know I don’t deserve you, I know I acted like a total fool before and know that I don’t deserve to even be asking you this question again. But I assure you that this time…I’m not asking because it’s duty, because it’s an engagement our families decided on or because it’s what the Aces, and the kingdom, and the rest of the world wants. This…this is not a recitation from an old tradition book, it’s not because of what’s coming or either because of the prosperity that will fall on our kingdom.” He took a moment to breathe, to gather his new words, while Feliciano remained as still, as patient and waiting for him to continue. “I’m asking because I want to be with you as this. I truly want us to rule together, to strengthen it with a love that I always want to devote true and powerful to you. I’ll journey far for you, no fear to loose, I’ll take down every opponent. There will be no heat or freeze to go against me. No sun, no rain…” It was then that he noticed what exactly he was saying, Feliciano giggling, but not minding. He only leaned closer to hear him clearer. “I love you and I want to be your husband, your king. So please, will you marry me? Will you accept to be mine…my queen?”

He looked so vulnerable, every weakness and opening in all his beautiful self that showed more strength than any soldier in a battlefield. Feliciano grinned and gave the gentlest laugh, the closest that he could show to the true flourishing that was occurring at this question that was now the loveliest shine to have happened. He leaned close, placing a gentle kiss of calmness on his head.

“I don’t want any of the riches you will bring,

I don’t care for any of the songs,

I only want you to hold,

I only want your arms around me,”

He began to sing sweetly, jokingly composing with a finger across their simple air. It died suddenly for both to laugh in the hold of their arms.

“Would you want all the gold I will find for you?

Would you like the songs I will bring from afar for you?

Would you accept me as your shield?

And would you want me always by your side?”

Ludwig managed to sing between, getting the lock of their eyes.

“I don’t want any of the riches you will bring,

I don’t care for any of the songs,

I only want you to hold,

I only want your arms around me,”

Feliciano answered, beginning a sway how they could in this position.

“Bring me your love, your kisses, your loyalty,

Your passion, your hope, your defeat,

Your promise, your weakness, your strength,

I will keep it all in my heart.

I’ll journey and see beyond the lines of our kingdom,

Never a fear to be lost, never a fear to fall,

In pleasure…”

Ludwig stopped singing, worried that the song was a distraction for him not to worry for when Feliciano denied him yet again. There was such a look of failure in his eyes and in it Feliciano saw that he now had to give his sure answer, one that in it lay a weight that the whole kingdom rested on.

“…I will take the mysteries of what I could meet…” Feliciano continued to sing in that low whisper, as the last time thinking, wondering…

“If you accept to be mine…” he stopped his swaying to lay still, with his upper body reaching his arms to rest on Ludwig’s shoulders “…my King.”

To be honest, the kingdom, the aces, his duties and responsibilities were the last on his mind when he looked into Ludwig’s adored blue eyes, still so terrified yet so naked in truth. All in his mind was love, his utter devotion to him, the feelings he instigated and how united, they could create so much more than what they knew on a surface. Happiness, he knew that there in his arms was his happiness, his shield, his sun, his heart. He didn’t think what it would mean to others but to himself, what this man would be to him, the trust and loyalty he would lay and he knew would prove faithful and brave. He thought about his true answer, well decided by the moment the ring was presented, before him now his true friend, his true king, his true Ludwig.

This time, in earnest, in joy and excited with all the expectations that were to come, he answered him:

“Yes.”

#Feliciano and the King of Hearts #fatkoh #f&tkoh #gerita #gerita fanfiction #gerita fanfic #gerita fic

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