#some people DON'T want to marry because of it or for other reasons

[chosolar]

ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈┈ wait for your love

nanami kento x fem!reader

exhusband!nanami who was your best friend since high school. you met during your 2nd year when he was getting teased for being a loser and you defended him. he stayed close to you after and has been close to you ever since.

exhusband!nanami who was forced to come with you to all the parties that you were too shy to go to. he never minded being your DD, as long as he knew you were safe then he didn't care about not being able to drink.

exhusband!nanami's parents had always nagged him to find someone after he graduated university. he took over his dad's company and as happy as his parents were, they wanted a daughter in law! he hated all the set ups his mom made him go to so he came to you with a proposition — get married to him for a few years to make his parents happy and he'll give you however much money you wanted. you needed the money he was offering so you accepted. the wedding was small and intimate with only your close friends and some family members.

exhusband!nanami worked his ass off ever since you accepted his proposal. even if it was just a marriage of convenience, he wanted to make sure you lived happily with him.

exhusband!nanami was the perfect husband. he was attentive, loving, and always spoiled you with everything you could ever want. the ladies in your neighbourhood loved him, wishing that their husbands were a fragment of what nanami is.

exhusband!nanami spent almost 5 years of marriage in bliss with you until you started pulling away. he never pushed you to talk though because he knew you were going through something. so he waited until you were ready to talk to him.

exhusband!nanami who felt in the dark when he was served with divorce papers. he was busy with paperwork, not bothering to look up at whoever was knocking on his office door. it wasn't until the manila envelope was placed on top of his desk that he looked up to see whoever served him.

exhusband!nanami wanted at least an answer before he signs the papers. you just told him the most vague answers. "I feel like we've grown apart" "we want different things in life" "I just can't do this anymore" he was confused with every reason that you gave.

exhusband!nanami couldn't wrap his head around the separation. he thought everything was going well but once he signed the papers to finalize the divorce, he felt the weight of losing you come all at once.

exhusband!nanami who hated being with anyone else but you. even if it did start out as a loveless marriage, he fell for you hard throughout the years. every "I love you" he's ever said, he's meant it. every kiss, every hug, nanami was surprisingly a good actor but he could never fake the affection he felt for you.

exhusband!nanami despises coming home. it was eerily empty and quiet, the sound of his footsteps were the only thing he could hear. he frequently thinks about moving away to get his mind away from you but he can't. he stays at the same place you've always know where he's been just in case you ever come back.

exhusband!nanami started drinking and smoking to waste his time. he rarely drank during college and he only did during parties with you. now that you're gone, he's turned to his vices. he knows that you hate the smell of cigarettes and you hate people who couldn't handle their alcohol but why does it matter if you're not with him anymore?

exhusband!nanami still remembers every little detail about you. no matter how hard he tried, he could never forget you and everything about you. you're the love of his life even if you don't feel the same about him.

exhusband!nanami felt like everything stopped when he saw you again on the street. you're still as beautiful as ever. your hair's longer and you've changed your style, but other than that you're still his pretty ex wife.

exhusband!nanami breathlessly greeted you back when you came up and said hi to him first. he thought you would've ignored him and just went along your way, but you stayed. your eyes stare up at him as you watch him fumble over his words. his heart skips faster as he sees you grin over his flustered state.

exhusband!nanami watches you leave after catching up. he wishes that it lasted a minute longer because for the first time in what feels like forever, he feels like he can breathe properly again.

exhusband!nanami starts sobering up and taking care of himself. he threw away the bottles of alcohol and cigarettes packs so that he can get away from feeling sorry for himself. if he ever sees you again, he wants to impress you (and make you regret your decision).

exhusband!nanami is shocked when he sees your face on the doorbell camera. the weather was relentless and he sees you shivering in the cold so he opens his door immediately. he hands you a change of warm clothes and turns up the thermometer of the house. 

while he's making hot tea for the both of you, he notices the bathroom door open and out you step, his clothes basically engulfing your body. nanami looks away, trying and failing to get rid of his lewd thoughts.

"sorry those are the only clothes I have that could fit you." nanami apologizes but you shook your head. "no don't be! if anything I should apologize for inconveniencing you."

nonsense, nanami thinks, you could never bother me.

nanami disregards his thoughts, "don't worry about that, I'm just glad to get you out of that snowstorm."

he hands you a cup of tea and you take notice of the mug he has in his hand. you think out loud, "you kept that mug?"

"hmm?" nanami glances up at you then to the cup, "oh yeah. how could I throw it away? you made it for me."

"but that was back in high school."

"and? I've kept everything you've ever given me." nanami cooly responded.

you kept quiet as you take sips of the tea he made for you. the taste is familiar until you remember — he made your favourite tea, just the way you like it. you dart your eyes between the tea and the blond man.

why is he like this? why is he still making your heart flutter after all this time? you wanted to get away but you couldn't, not until the storm calms down. the news reported that it'll continue until early in the morning meaning you'll have to stay inside — with him. knowing nanami, he would never let you out because he still worries for your safety.

sleepiness was creeping up on you as you both sat in the living room. nanami sees your head bobbling through his peripheral and offers you the guest room that you promptly accepted. he leaves you be, letting you explore the home that is exactly the same as when you used to live in it.

nanami laid in his bed, moving constantly to find a comfortable position enough to fall asleep. but he couldn't.

the only thing in his mind was you who was only a few doors down away from him. were you sleeping soundly or do you feel as insomnolent as him? he wants to get up and check on you but he restrains himself. with the wind blowing, all he can hear is the rage of the snowstorm hitting the windows of the house.

nanami directs his attention from the windows to the knocking of the door. "nanami? are you awake?"

he instructs for you to come in, the light from the hallway seeps into the darkness of his bedroom. he sits up and taps the space in front of him on his bed to tell you to come sit there. "why are you still awake?"

"couldn't sleep after I got into bed. you?" you wonder as you go to sit on his bed. he chuckles, "same. do you wanna talk? I remember you used to fall asleep to me talking."

"you remember?"

"how could I forget?"

you lift your legs to place them onto the bed and cross them, wrapping your arms and pulling your knees onto your chest. "why do you still remember everything about me?"

"I was your best friend before I was your husband. even if I wanted to forget, everything about you is engrained in me." his hand moves up to tuck a piece of your hair behind your ear. "you were my first and my last, it'll be that way till I die."

"you're so dumb," you mumble into your arms, "I divorced you and you still treat me so well."

nanami grasps your wrist and brings you to his lap, his arms wrapped loosely around you. he kisses your temple softly. "does that bother you?"

"I don't know," you confess. nanami exhales before he changes the topic. "if we're being honest, can you finally tell me now why you wanted a divorce?"

you shook your head. "not really, you might hate me."

"I won't." nanami reassures, "just be honest with me dear."

you sigh.

"the marriage was feeling too real."

nanami's expression twists into confusion.

"it was an agreement between us that if one day one of us wanted to stop, we will," you continue, "and one day, I thought about it. there's going to be a day you come up to me and maybe you'll tell me that you found someone else. I don't want to go through that, I don't want to lose you but we've already gone so far. I figured it was best for me to leave before that day does come.

"you'll never have to worry about that," nanami tightens his arms around you, "it's always been you."

you hugged him back, the scent of his cologne intensifies as you nuzzle your face into the crook of his neck. "can we start over? but for real this time."

"we don't need to start over," nanami places a kiss on the top of your head, "we can just pick up where we left off."

as soon as the storm stopped, husband!nanami takes you to city hall to sign a new marriage certificate.

husband!nanami makes sure to treat you right this time. if you think that the act he was putting up was good, then nanami not having to hide his feelings is better. he's not one to shy away from physical affection in public as he always wants to hold your hand or stay very close to you.

husband!nanami who will always reassure you that he'll never leave. you are the light of his life, the reason he wants up everyday. he'll never take a day with you granted.

husband!nanami finds it adorable when you watch over the neighbour's daughter. he'll wait until her parents pick her up and then he'll bring up the thoughts that's been plaguing his mind for a while now.

"honey, what do you think about starting a family?"

ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈┈

as per usual, not proofread!! ◡̈

[animentality]

I know x reader fans have always existed, and I don't generally mind them.

however I feel like the way they've overtaken fandom analysis/ shipping culture is an indication of the general decline of fandom communities.

they are normies, guys. I'm sorry.

it's not a slur, it's just a fact.

normies infiltrated fandom spaces because of covid.

they come in and just want to thirst after a particular character... and that's like. fine. of course it's fine it's always happened.

but they don't seem to actually care about the character being in character. nor does it really require any analysis of that character's motivations or story, or their relationship with others.

I know not everything HAS to relate to canon. like duh, we are here to make our own canon.

but come the fuck on. I go into a tag and it has a character tagged being some dommy daddy when that character is nothing like that in canon... and there's this line between making a character act a certain way bc that's your fetish, and completely ignoring who that character is entirely to the point where you could just replace their name with anyone else in any other show, and it wouldn't make a difference?

like that's... normie shit. it's people who do not think deeply or passionately about that media, it's just them having this surface level grasp of the physical attractiveness of the character.

and again. I'm not saying these people are stupid or whatever, just that the overabundance of this watered down ass content is an indicator of how much fandom has changed.

fans are not the socially awkward introverted queer voyeurs anymore, who enjoy fantasies and daydreaming about being someone else because of this disconnect with the self, or this fear of others that leads you to seek human connection in fiction.

they're the people who do just fine with other people ... and I'm not gatekeeping fandom from people who aren't socially awkward or anything.

but they come here, and they do shit like say you can't like this ship bc it's morally wrong .. you're not allowed to thirst after an 18 year old that makes you a pedophile... I'm 15 and I'm allowed to lust for Gojo but you a 25 year old woman, aren't allowed to write itafushi fanfiction.

go back to taxes and your job!!!

like that drives me fucking insane. these people want to insist they're not normies but they then go around insisting that being over 20 means you need to Work and Be a Normal Adult... bitch.

adults make fandoms. not you fucking children. you don't know how to build communities, you barely know how to make friends.

attacking people who like the same thing you do? is that what you think community building is?

oh this poor generation. anyway.

they come here and are disgusted by weird fetishes and obsessions. and by people sharing sexual headcanons or ideas about sexuality that make them uncomfortable because they've never ever been counter culture, they've never felt the need to go against the status quo.

they're cis straight girls/women mostly, whose mothers basically fuel the ya spicy romance booktok industry.

they're just younger and think it's trendier to be "in a fandom" than a fucking book club.

they're modern day bodice ripper fans... which again

would be so fucking fine, if they weren't doing the youth version of karening the fuck out.

and flooding the fandom with both hyper criticism of how you conduct your business AND an aggressive market for just imagining yourself with a character.

like fandom was originally just hyper passionate freaks.

they discussed movies and TV shows like life and death. they were fucking nuts but in the way where they needed to seek one another out, to share in this joyous sensation of being a freak obsessed with something beyond the point of reason.

now?

now it's like ... oh.

Sally from Bio thinks your love of Gaara is super creepy when you're 19. like what, are you a pedophile? why are you imagining him getting married to Naruto? are you a fucking pedophile who gets off to teens making out? they need to check your hard drive!!

like ok Sally.

ok.

I just think x reader is such a strong indicator of what kind of fan you are.

and if a fandom is mostly x reader... then it can't be that popular. it can't be a proper community.

how can it be?

it's as watered down and generic and bland as a marvel movie. it's stripped down of anything unique. it is pruned of controversy and humanity.

you are literally stripping yourself down into a non character.

you're not truly projecting yourself into a character, because the you that you read about is nothing. a placeholder. you are a passive observing robot who exists only in the form of a faceless and personality less entity.

and I don't get it.

what's the point then?

isn't fiction about realizing something about yourself or others

if your only manner of engaging is stripping yourself of personality... is it engagement at all?

or is it just more mindless consumption?

just watch law and order, man.

watch the good doctor or some shit on lifetime.

there's shows with passionate fanbases who theory craft and endlessly obsess with relationships and world building, and then there's shows with x reader only content and you know exactly why now.

[mommyslittlebird]

A Room of Your Own

Married!WandaNat x Reader

Summary: After getting kicked out of your college dorm, you find yourself living with two older strangers. It was never meant to be anything more than a temporary arrangement born out of necessity, but as the semester continues, something new starts to grow.

CW: Homophobia, Getting Kicked Out, Slow Burn (No sex or romance in this chapter), Age Gap

Word Count: 1.9k

A/N: I’m back from the dead, though probably not in the way you wanted or expected. I had to take a (not so) little break from one-shots and smut for the time being for some personal reasons. But I’m still finding ways to write and enjoy myself. Some of you probably have already seen this. It’s been up on AO3 for a while now. But I figured I’d post it here too.

A/N: This is my first attempt at writing any sort of slow burn, so we'll see if I can resist having them all fall into bed together in the first few chapters. I also don't know how to write an introductory chapter without making it boring as shit, so I at least made it short to spare you all. I promise it gets better.

Chapter 1 of A Room of Your Own

You sat, knees curled to your chest, on the curb in front of what used to be your dorm. It was late, a little after midnight, and absolutely pouring rain.

Three days. You had been in the dorms for three days and you had already been kicked out. You’d expect some pushback, going to a religious college and being queer, but nothing like this. Nothing like getting kicked out of your dorm in the middle of the night because you were making your roommates uncomfortable. You’d tried so hard to get them to like you. They seemed sweet. Not your type of people, sure, but you thought the three of you could get along just fine.

As it turns out, they were actually so repulsed by your presence they couldn’t even wait until classes started to kick you to the curb. Literally.

“Hey!” Somebody shouted from the doorway, holding a large umbrella. You turned to see her approaching and shrunk back in on yourself. You didn’t think you could handle anymore ridicule that evening.

When you didn’t respond or turn to face her, she sat down next to you, sure to cover you with the umbrella as well. She spoke softer now. “Hey. I’m sorry for what happened back there.”

You still didn’t speak, but you looked at her now, partially soaked from where she was sitting next to you on the wet concrete. “I’m Yelena.” She reached her hand out for you to shake.

You shook her hand. “Y/N. Nice to meet you.” You recognized her from your dorm floor, though you’d only ever seen her in passing.

“It’s nice to meet you as well,” she smiled softly. “I wish it were under different circumstances.”

You nodded, turning your gaze back to the raining night.

“Do you have anywhere to go? For tonight I mean. I would offer you to stay in my room, but…” she turned back to the door of the building. You both knew you couldn’t go back in there.

You shook your head. You hadn’t even thought where you would stay tonight. You could always stay in your car. It wouldn’t be the first night you’ve slept in the backseat. Still, the sopping wet clothes would surely make for a morning full of rashes and blistered skin.

Yelena sighed, looking at the ground. She was silent for a moment before she came up with an idea. “Let me call my sister. She and her wife have a massive place not so far from here. They’ll have a bedroom or two to spare.”

Before you could form a rebuttal of any sort, Yelena pushed the umbrella into your hands and dashed back inside. You tucked the umbrella between your leg and the crook of your arm, resting your head on your knees.

It wasn’t very long before Yelena was by your side again. “Okay she’s on her way. She’ll be here in about 10 minutes.”

You didn’t look at her, facing intentionally in the other direction. You felt so horrible. You just wanted to curl up and disappear. And now you were going to be picked and taken to the home of some random classmate’s sister? You try to formulate a response, a reason that you will be fine on your own, but there was nothing. It was either this or the back seat of your 1993 Toyota Corolla. Somehow, you bet Yelena wasn’t going to take that as a reasonable explanation as to why she should call off her sister.

“Are you coming with me?” You asked weakly.

She sighed and put her hand on your back. “I wasn’t planning on it, but I will if you really want me to.”

You finally turned to face her. She didn’t look thrilled at the prospect of leaving. She was probably a freshman. It was her first couple days in the dorm too and everything was so new and exciting. The last thing she wanted to do was go back home with her sister.

“No it’s okay,” you responded. The last thing you wanted was to inconvenience someone else tonight, and it’s not like a freshman you hardly knew was going to bring you much solace anyway.

She patted your back. “They’ll take good care of you, I promise.”

Before too much longer, Yelena stood up at the sight of headlights. She waved her arms in an “over here” motion. The car approached Yelena, stopping hard in front of the curb you were sitting on. The tires splashed you in rainwater and mud. Yelena winched, walking back towards you to usher you into the car.

She led you to the passenger door, popping it open and peeking her head in. “This is your girl,” she said, pointing back towards your soaked, mud covered figure. She motioned for you to sit.

You hesitated. The car looked nicer than any you’d ever been in before. The idea of ruining the nice leather seats made you want to shrink further into your ball of shame.

The woman in the driver's seat noticed your hesitation, but didn’t seem the slightest bit concerned with her seat. “Come on in,” she ushered. “Get out of that rain.”

You handed the umbrella back to Yelena, reluctantly taking a seat in the car. Yelena peaked her head back in to say “take care of her,” before closing the door and scurrying back into the dorms.

The woman looked at you, reaching up to pop on the overhead light. The sight of her in the light nearly took your breath away. She looked oddly familiar. Maybe you’d seen her around town. You sharply inhaled as the most beautiful woman you’d ever seen leaned over the console towards you. She frowned. “Oh you poor thing!” She reached out to wipe off your face. You cringed when you saw the mud smear across the sleeve of her jacket. “Let’s go home and get you cleaned up.”

You nodded and she turned the light off before pulling out of the parking lot. You fought the urge to curl up in her passenger seat, fearing further ruining her seats with the dirty bottoms of your shoes. When you didn’t speak, she offered up an introduction of her own. “My name is Natasha. I don’t know what Yelena’s told you, but I’m her sister. My wife and I have a place not so far from here.”

“I’m Y/N” you managed.

“A friend of Yelena’s?” She asked.

You chuckled a little. “I suppose you could say that. We met about 20 minutes ago.”

Natasha chuckled. “Of course. Leave it to Yelena to seek you out after such an injustice.”

You bit the inside of your lip. You wished you had heard the phone conversation so you could gauge just how much she knew.

It was as if Natasha could read your mind when she started next with the details of the phone call. “Yelena told me you got kicked out of the dorm by the other girls. They were uncomfortable because you were gay? I never expected to hear anything like that happening in 2024, but I guess I stand corrected.”

Well, that was one way of telling the story. At least Yelena had left out the peeping Tom allegations that got you chased off the floor by everyone who had to share a bathroom with you. They weren’t true, of course, but the fact that you’d made people so uncomfortable they were willing to name you a pervert without second thought made your skin crawl.

After a short, largely silent car ride, Natasha pulled the car into a garage. You hadn’t gotten a good look at the house, both because of the dark and getting lost in your own thoughts, but even by the state of the garage you could tell it was nice.

Natasha got out of the car, unlocking the door and leading you into the kitchen. You took your shoes off by the door, then decided to take your socks off too to avoid tracking muddy water through the house. The woman took your hand and guided you to the stairwell, then to a bathroom. She turned on the lights and opened up a cabinet, pulling out fresh towels and washcloths.

“I’ll get you some fresh clothes and sheets. The bedroom is through here.” She opened a door that revealed a sizable bedroom connected to the bathroom. You could hardly believe this wasn’t the master suite she’d led you too.

She turned to face you, exhaling as she once again took in your disheveled state. She picked some errant pebbles from your tangled hair and wiped it out of your face. “Now,” she started, “do you need anything else before I let you get cleaned up and off to bed?”

You shook your head. “No. You’ve done enough already. Thank you, Miss Natasha, for letting me stay here. It means a lot. Truly.”

“Of course.” She smiled. You didn’t notice the blush that crept onto her face at the formality. She swiped away the hair that had fallen in front of your eyes again. “We wouldn’t want a sweet girl like you sleeping out in the rain.” She booped the tip of your nose. “Now promise you’ll wake me or Wanda up if you need anything at all. We’re just in the room across the hall. Can’t miss it, it’s the only door on that side.”

You nodded slowly. There was no way in hell you were going to wake her or Wanda, who you assumed was her wife, for any reason. But you nodded anyway.

She smiled and rubbed your chin. “Good girl. Now go get cleaned up and try to get some rest.”

As she set off to her room, you hoped the mud had covered how pink your cheeks had gotten. You headed to the shower, sliding open the glass door and turning on the water. You decided to hop in with your clothes at first, hoping to get enough of the mud off that you could wear them again tomorrow. Then you wrang the clothes out and threw them over the door to dry. You took your time in the shower, letting the hot water warm you up from the cold rain. By the time you were finally clean, you grabbed the fresh towel Natasha had left for you.

Your clothes were, obviously, still soaked save for your underwear. You were thankful for the little time it had taken the thin silky material to dry. You put them back on and wrapped yourself in a towel before entering into the bedroom.

There was a maroon hoodie at the end of the bed. It had been there since Natasha first showed you the room, so it clearly wasn’t laid out for you. However, in lieu of other clothes, you decided the owner probably wouldn’t mind if you borrowed it for the night. You slipped the soft fabric over your head. It was much too big for you, going down to almost your mid thighs while the sleeves dangled over your hands. But it was, quite possibly, the softest material that you’d ever felt. It felt simultaneously brand new and freshly washed.

You crawled up into the queen sized bed, slipping under the covers. You held the fabric of the hoodie close to your face. It smelled nothing like the musky bergamot of Natasha, which had been equally as entrancing in its own way. This was distinctly different. It smelled soft and comforting like lying in a meadow on a spring day. The comforting smell and warmth, along with your own exhaustion, quickly had you asleep.

[ksfd892]

I forgot about the whole storyline where Luke gets married to Nicole (probably because it was so ridiculous), but it serves as another reminder of something negative with the wrong people. Luke goes through the motions of it and even tries to 'date' Nicole, but the marriage is always doomed. In contrast, he and Lorelai hesitate to make the leap, even though they are meant for each other, because of their independence. It's not a factor with Nicole because it was never meant to last.

It perplexes me that GG has an arguably conservative take on relationships and getting married. Being part of a relationship doesn't 'count' as enough - the couple have to get married in order to be truly committed to each other and to be taken seriously.

It's both interesting and confusing that engagement and marriage are often used to fix fights between couples or as a sweet, spontaneous choice. Sookie and Jackson decide to skip living together first, Lane and Zach get engaged rather than deal with the issues they were fighting over and Liz and TJ get married comically fast, relatively speaking. Part of this is due to the screwball comedy theme throughout the show (discussed here x), but part of it also seems to be this traditional view that to really love someone, you have to marry them.

Lorelai is an exception to the couples above in that despite Max also proposing to make up an argument, she eventually cannot go through with it. Marriage is also shown as the wrong decision when Christopher proposes when she is pregnant with Rory and, later, when Christopher spontaneously says he wants to marry her during his visit in S1. This is largely due to Lorelai being the main character, whereas the other couples are secondary, yet her hesitance to get married is criticised later on. Although not marrying Christopher because Lorelai didn't love him (and because pregnancy is not enough of a reason to get married), and later turning down Max because she doesn't love him either are shown as good choices, her issues with marrying Luke are shown in a more negative light.

Lorelai breaks off the engagement with Luke at the end of S6 and as in AYITL, this is seen as a weak choice, as she ended the engagement in a fight and still hasn't married him, even if their relationship is repaired. Lorelai claming that she and Luke are 'partners' is shown in a dismissive light, by Emily calling them 'roomies' and contrasting it to her marriage with Richard. The series as a whole shows it as a fear of commitment and, while Emily is blunt, she is not wrong. While obviously fear of commitment can be true for some people in real life, there are also just as many relationships where the couple simply have chosen not to get married and are no less in love. This is not shown as an option in the series for any couple. If you are 'truly' in love you should just get married. The questions about how Sookie and Jackson adjusted to living together, how Lane and Zach handled their issues and how Liz and TJ faced problems as a couple are either ignored or 'fixed' by getting married. The only married couples who do face problems are Dean and Lindsey, as they get married for the wrong reasons and are set up for Rory to make a terrible, desperate choice romantically, and later Emily and Richard, who 'solve' their problems with a vow renewal. The issues behind their separation are dropped after the second wedding. The other couples discussed are shown to have made the correct choice without any question.

GG is a comedy-drama and, obviously, isn't going to focus on marital difficulties (for the most part), but it's interesting to see this traditional life path celebrated in what is generally a very liberal show (abortion aside, but this is probably partly due to the network and TV landscape at the time). Clearly, numerous couples choose to get married and there's nothing odd about depicting it, but numerous couples do not, for a whole myriad of reasons, none of which are portrayed. To truly love someone, you must marry them, otherwise you are playing at being 'partners'. Marriage is attempted to be shown in a more nuanced light in S7 but, as ASP didn't write it, it stands outside of the show's main narrative. At the end of AYITL Lorelai arrives at a new stage of adulthood, but it's not by her and Luke really communicating - it's by their decision to finally get married.

[imagitory]

Not to call anyone out because everyone's entitled to their opinion and I don't want anyone getting attacked for theirs...but I saw a pro-Calypso post on an Epic the Musical community I can't reply to that kind of sent me spiraling that asked why Beast from Beauty and the Beast gets so much less hate than Calypso does when they "did the same thing."

Now I don't know if we're talking Disney's animated classic Beauty and the Beast specifically or the OG fairy tale or whatever, but um...have we forgotten the fact that Belle chose to stay with the Beast? And that Odysseus, in contrast, had no choice in whether to end up on or stay on Calypso's island? On the contrary -- Ody not only actively wants off, but he is so unhappy at the thought he'll never get home that he tries to unalive himself at one point. Then of course if we're talking Disney's Beauty and the Beast in particular, we can point out that Belle stays because she gave her word, not because she was physically unable to leave, and she leaves the castle out of fear for her own safety after going into the West Wing and enraging the Beast ("promise or no promise"), only to take the Beast back because he saves her life and is badly hurt in the process. Then the two nurture a real friendship -- something Odysseus and Calypso never did, in all their time together -- before Beast willingly lets Belle go with no expectation that she'd return, let alone break the spell on him and the castle servants. In contrast, in Not Sorry For Loving You, Calypso doubles down on how she treated Odysseus and turns everything into a pity-party for herself. She acts like she's sorry about how she treated him, but frames her disregard for his boundaries and freedom as her "coming on too strong" without ever acknowledging that she legitimately ignored Ody's feelings and wishes at the expense of her own. She uses the abusive-partner playbook to the nth degree, attempting to invalidate any hate Odysseus might legitimately feel toward her for what she did by passive-aggressively acting like it's his fault that he didn't accept her "love" for what it was ("and if you hate me, then I'm sorry my love's too much for you"). She even gets upset about why he "won't love her too" even though she knows full well he's a married man still very in love with his wife Penelope, who Calypso has been purposefully separating him from for years. Oh yeah, and on that note, Odysseus is already romantically committed to someone else, so Calypso has even less reason to presume Ody should return her feelings. Even Beast, who is in love with a single person and also has a ticking clock over him to fall in love quickly to break the curse on him and all of his servants, loves Belle sincerely enough that he didn't get angry or resentful at the thought that she might not love him back. He doesn't try to guilt-trip her into loving him. Even though in the original Beauty and the Beast fairy tale, there are a lot more toxic elements -- such as the Beast claiming he'll die if Belle doesn't return to him -- that doesn't change the fact that Belle has some agency in her situation, with the Beast connecting emotionally with this single woman over time in a way that she comes to see him as a dear friend despite his hideous appearance. And of course just about all adaptations of the story heavily lean away from or outright subvert the original's more problematic elements because they're rightly seen as toxic.

Look -- I don't see any problem with anyone feeling pity for Calypso. With her lonely backstory and lack of knowledge of how to interact with others, it's easy to. I could even see people arguing she cared for Odysseus in her own weird way. But that doesn't change how much she disrespected Odysseus's agency and used her goddess-y powers to keep him just as trapped on her island as she was, at the expense of his and his family's happiness. I personally view Calypso as a very well-developed anti-villain for this reason -- she can claim she loved Odysseus...but if she did, she didn't know what love really is, because love at its core is about selflessness, and Calypso at her core is incredibly selfish.

[synergysilhouette]

9 hot takes/unpopular opinions with DC and Marvel Comics

Originally this was a Marvel-exclusive post with just 5 hot takes (because I was NOT ready to defend myself against people who disagreed with 10), but some of my hot takes were things I shared with DC, so I thought I'd just do a 10-point hot take post on both (only to realize I miscounted this after posting, so it's just 9). And these opinions are slightly generalized, with very few focusing on individual characters. This is largely still an X-men post, but has some other things.

Different codenames--It's fairly common in comics books for a character to take a codename that someone else already had, either for story purposes (ie to honor the character) or for marketing reasons (certain names carry a lot of weight and would make people more interested in an unrelated character). That said, it's very unimaginative and boring to me. Unless you're purposefully trying to steal someone's identity or deceive someone, get your own codename.

2. No magical mutants--(Dislaimer: BIG X-Men fan). Okay, everyone's gonna kill me for this, especially since this has been a staple since I got into comics, but I'm not the biggest fan of it. At the very least, stop doing it going forward. I'm not against mutants having fantasy adventures and villains (ESPECIALLY as a fantasy fan), but being mutants is supposed to be what unites them, having powers derived from human evolution and the consequences that come with it. Not saying every story has to be about racism and how they overcome it, but I do think characters with powers independent of their mutant status kind of cheapen the experience. It's almost like "why be a mutant at all?" And for some characters, it's not entirely clear what powers are mutant, and what are magical. While having magic powers would get some prejudice, magic is treated a bit differently in the Marvel universe, from what I've seen. It's almost like "What are you fighting for?" It kinda reminds me of how Chris Claremont had Scott marry Madelaine, start a family, and wanted to retire him from the superhero business--but you don't retire from being the victim of racism. I think this is why Krakoa was so fascinating to me since it's founding was based on helping mutants escape the prejudice of regular humans.

3. Families/marriage--It's often said that couples in comic books don't last because writers don't know how to keep them together and interesting, along with the misguided belief that adding kids to the equation automatically makes you boring and retired, even though this isn't necessarily true. Plus there's also the publisher's preference to "shake things up" in order to keep people engaged, even if we were happy with what we had, meaning messy breakups, death, etc. It's all about how you write it, and relationships in comics shouldn't be treated like they're that flexible. We love consistency.

4. Stoic Batman needs to stop being the default--Most modern depictions LOVE to depict Batman (and Bruce Wayne) as emotionally distant, cold to those he cares about, and prefer to do things on his own because he believes he's the only one capable of doing so. The reasoning is often just because it's cool to be edgy (another issue I have with comics), and sometimes chalking it up to trauma, but in the world of comic books, I feel like you don't have to depict him as consistently a jerk about it. Batman's most emotional and compassionate moments are some of his best. Not saying he needs to have a bleeding heart, but having an emotional core isn't a crime.

5. No uniforms--This is just a matter of preference, but I don't like uniforms. I count uniforms of one of three things: having the same/similar colors but different styles (ie W.I.T.C.H.), having different colors but the same/similar style, or both the colors and style being the same or at least similar. I was never a fan of it, preferring individuality in appearances and personal style.

6. No major sexuality changes if you've been depicted as a certain sexuality for 15+ years--As a gay guy, this frustrates the heck out of me. Aside from drawing attention away from LGBT+ characters who debuted as such or were addressed as such early on, major characters getting sexuality retcons feels like a betrayal of character consistency (again: WE LOVE CONSISTENCY). I like to use Iceman as an example, because a lot of people say he was gay-coded when people argued against him coming out as gay. Yeah...in my opinion, he wasn't gay-coded, he just had a backstory that could be READ as gay-coded, matching his new sexuality; there's a difference between being coded and it just conveniently serving the current, unrelated narrative. And Bobby's sexuality has almost become a persoanlity trait for him like that's all he's got going. I have a similar issue with Tim Drake, who's depicted as bi now, with bisexual-debuting character Ghostmaker (a member of the Batfamily who was shown as bi shortly before Tim was), gets less attention. And given DC's mistreatment and mismanagement of Tim, them making him bi feels like they were desperately trying to find a way to market him in a way different from the other Robins when everything else was failing. Even ignoring my regular feelings about sexuality retconning (though I should note that an artist for Tim in the 2000s did try to hint at him being into guys), DC's had major issues with characterizing Tim as indecisive when they have to walk back on decisions they make because fans don't like it, ie Tim's "Drake" codename and costume. Because of that, him being bi feels like DC subtley trying to double down on him being indecisive/of two minds, which is insulting.

Sorry for the rant! But that brings me to my next point.

7. Tim Drake is continually being set up to fail--ARGUE WITH THE WALL. This topic is a bit more heated for me than others, but it's true. Tim joined Batman because he saw how he changed emotionally when Robin (Jason Todd) died, as well as having a family, a social life, and was the smartest Robin at the time, as well as becoming Robin voluntarily. However, with time, this was changed; the other Robins became more tech-savvy and Tim became and orphan and was adopted by Bruce Wayne, removing Tim's sense of identity to a significant degree. On top of this, any teams he led or friend she had were sadly underrated himself, preventing him from using any A-list connections outside his family to elevate his own position. Plus Tim has usually always been happy as Robin, but several situations have arisen where him advocating Robin as Batman's partner instead of sidekick have been undermined by others trying to tell Tim to do something else that was "his own." However, when he tries this, DC does it in a way that is uninteresting or annoying to the fans, like the aforementioned "Drake" debacle (brown as a costume choice isn't very eye-catching, and using part of your name as a codename in the modern era should be outlawed). And even when he got a comic of his own after he came out as bi, DC had the art done by Riley Rossmo, whose art style was...not great, only getting a different artist towards the end, but it was very clear that they were kinda just giving him a solo just to say they did; he didn't have an artist to actually do him right, nor a story that felt empowering to his character or unique.

8. Skintones should be more consistent--It's a personal opinion of mine (especially for POC) that a (human) character's debut skintone should be their canon skintone, no matter how light or dark it is, with little room for variation. A lot of characters end up looking WILDLY different, sometimes with even different facial features and eye colors. I feel like there should be a comic bible for this.

9. Krakoa should've lasted longer--Is this a hot take? Inn any case, it was really fun seeing some villains turn over a new leaf, familiar characters go down a new path, and new characters/underrated mutants getting attention. Definitely feel like this should've been at least 10 years long.

[jedi-enthusiasm-blog]

"The Jedi are stuck in their ways! They still don't allow marriage!"

Woah. There's too much to unpack here.

Marriage has baggage, even in the GFFA. It's an institution that has been used to abuse and opress people, even in Star Wars (Nightbrothers and Nightsisters inmediately come to mind). It's reasonable that, to a culture like the Jedi who are all for compassion, equality and non-possessive relationships, this baggage would at least give some pause.

To add to the above point, if they were allowed to marry, why would they do it? The benefits of marriage are moot when it comes to the Jedi: raising children is done communally, as far as we know Jedi don't pay taxes, etc.

The only way I can see them marrying is if it's something important for their birth culture or if it's something their partner wants to do. And even then that's an if.

Plus, why do people marry? For companionship? The Jedi have that more than covered. Children? There are hundreds of children in the Order, I don't think having bio-children would cross their minds. Because of social pressure? That wouldn't exist in the Order because their whole thing is "duty first" and "no attachments", which means they wouldn't care much for marriage (something that typically is used to say you love that person above all else, which a Jedi cannot do). Because they feel lonely? They have like, thousands of people in their corner, all of them compassionate and supportive.

Moreover, have you considered that the Jedi way of life is so fulfilling people wouldn't feel the urge to marry? That they're completely happy with their lives? That they're connected to the soul of the universe and have reached spiritual enlightenment, and marriage pales in comparison?

Legends supports my point. In Cade Skywalker's time, despite marriage being technically still allowed, most Jedi choose to not get married. Aayla Secura, Kit Fisto, Siri Tachi and the man the myth the legend Obi-Wan Kenobi himself are all Jedi who fall in love, yet choose not to pursue a relationship because being a Jedi is much more important to them. And in canon the Jedi who get into relationships are Kanan and Cal, after Order 66 where they wouldn't have an entire community right behind them. Quinlan Vos falls in love with Ventress but returns to the Order if I remember right, but this part is foggy so excuse me if I misremember.

I'm biased because I don't even want a relationship, but… why the heck are y'all so obsessed with marriage and babies? Why are we using a culture allowing or not allowing marriage as a baseline for progress?

Why is marriage so important to you people that you cannot understand that some people set it aside to focus on other things for pragmatic, work-related, religious and spiritual reasons, or a simple lack of desire?

Just food for thought.

[iliiuan]

Some thoughts about Egwene

First, she is not the one who chose Rand. In the Ravens prologue, she is purposely trying to find out who this boy is that she's supposed to marry. Since Rand is unaware of the arrangement at that point, I'm guessing this was manipulated by Marin, though to what end, I'm uncertain.

The misandry flowing off of Marin is a big problem. What man wants to be around that? What family wants to throw their son into that? The rest of the village, having extended families to protect them, won't touch the al'Vere girls. Rand lives with Tam alone, and has no female relatives to protect him, making him an easy target.

I think that Egwene is copying and echoing her mother. Whether she would have grown out of it is up for debate. I think that being on the al'Thor farm with the healthy influence of Tam would have potentially cracked that particular aspect of her personality. She very well could have come to see how awful her mother is. As Wisdom, I don't think she ever would. In the wide world, she doesn't really get a chance, and the broader social forces don't really give her a reason to.

Similarly, I think her view of Rand as a stubborn foolish woolhead stems from how her mother talks about him. She very probably lumps the three ta'veren boys together. You throw in a dash of her misandry, and you end up with an insultingly negative view of all three.

No 9-year-old wants to be treated like a baby. That's just normal. Her sister was highly inappropriate to take out her grief on Egwene.

Her jealousy streak is all her.

The relationship to authority thing is too relatable to me to judge her for it. I hate when motherfuckers tell me what to do. Piss off and die, assholes.

I do think, even so, that her early resistance to authority is within normal range. She's power-seeking, but not psychotic about it. Then she gets collard by the Seanchan. The level of trauma she experienced in what? a month? was so profound, and no one wants to acknowledge it, because she berated Rand before it happened. But what trauma like that does to a person is to give them a deep-seated fear of not being in control, and pulls forward all of their personality flaws. At that point, there was no path away from her misandry, no way that she was ever going to secede power if she could find a way not to, no possible solution to her arrogance and self-righteousness. She does treat her friends like shit. After her trauma.

So, I don't buy the whole "Egwene was already awful at 9 years old." She was a normal child, with a particular home life that inculcated some bad habits, and with a large dose of ambition. The trauma of being collared, with no way to save herself, being required to perform at the whim of other people, being treated like a dog, having no autonomy, and being viciously punished for any transgression...well, that is what created the power-hungry, abusive character that everyone loves to hate.

Elayne latched herself onto a group of people leaving for an adventure as surely as Egwene did, yet I don't see people berating her for it like they do Egwene. Almost like following someone else's call to adventure is perfectly reasonable, after all?

[disgracefulthings]

Is it me or...

Is Han Sooyoung from Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint very similar to our resident hamster?

[non-un-topo]

Should I see a therapist for my unexplained contempt for my Heterosexual Family Members and their wedding planning and their baby-craziness y/n?

[tousey-mousey]

I put too much in the tags.......

Read options carefully:

I do not like queer for myself / I don't identify with it. When people refer to the queer community I feel they are referring to me and I am uncomfortable with it :'(

I do not like queer for myself / I don't identify with it. When people refer to the queer community I feel they are referring to me and I am fine with it

I do not like queer for myself / I don't identify with it. When people refer to the queer community I feel they are not referring to me. I am fine with that

I do not like queer for myself / I don't identify with it. When people refer to the queer community I feel they are not referring to me. I feel excluded :'(

I do not like LGBT(and extensions) for myself / I don't identify with it. When people refer to the LGBT+ community I feel they are referring to me and I am uncomfortable with it :'(

I do not like LGBT(and extensions) for myself / I don't identify with it. When people refer to the LGBT+ community I feel they are referring to me and I am fine with it

I do not like LGBT(and extensions) for myself / I don't identify with it. When people refer to the LGBT+ community I feel they are not referring to me. I am fine with that

I do not like LGBT(and extensions) for myself / I don't identify with it. When people refer to the LGBT+ community I feel they are not referring to me. I feel excluded :'(

I am comfortable with both queer and the various initialisms

Something else - talk about it in comments and tags!

[charminglygrouped]

For the past several years (and perhaps longer) in the P&P fandom I've seen a lot of people who want to rehabilitate Mrs. Bennet: like, sure, she's uncouth and seems greedy, but it's because she cares so much about her daughters' futures; her situation is actually really stressful and uncertain and she's powerless to change it and her husband makes fun of her, and so it's natural that it would cause her to be anxious all the time; maybe she doesn't have the intelligence or social awareness to understand that her behaviour is actually harming her daughters' prospects, but at least her heart is in the right place.

I'm usually not the type of person who argues that fandom is actually being too nice to a female character, but in this case I don't buy the counter-narrative (which I think is popular enough at this point to be fanon / a narrative in itself) about Mrs. Bennet.

For one thing, she was never really powerless in this situation. These people are rich even for gentry. Mr. Bennet's income was always good, at 2,000 pounds per annum (even though I can't believe he isn't neglecting some practices that could raise it higher). Mrs. Bennet had 4,000 pounds from her parents and a further 1,000 from Mr. Bennet. Invested in the 4 per cents (for example), this is 200 pounds per year in pin money that Mrs. Bennet could spend without touching the principle of her dowry, and without affecting Mr. Bennet's income. This is more than some people's entire yearly incomes.

The picture of Mr. and Mrs. Bennet that we get in P&P is not of people who are helpless against their circumstances, but of people who are extraordinarily neglectful. We're told that:

Mr. Bennet had very often wished, before this period of his life, that, instead of spending his whole income, he had laid by an annual sum, for the better provision of his children, and of his wife, if she survived him. [...] When first Mr. Bennet had married, economy was held to be perfectly useless; for, of course, they were to have a son. This son was to join in cutting off the entail, as soon as he should be of age, and the widow and younger children would by that means be provided for. Five daughters successively entered the world, but yet the son was to come; and Mrs. Bennet, for many years after Lydia’s birth, had been certain that he would. This event had at last been despaired of, but it was then too late to be saving. Mrs. Bennet had no turn for economy; and her husband’s love of independence had alone prevented their exceeding their income.

We also know that the "continual presents in money which passed to [Lydia] through her mother’s hands," plus her allowance and food, amount to about 90 pounds per year. Rather than saving up from the beginning in case the entail is not broken, rather than beginning to save once it's clear a son will not arrive, rather than making Jane's dowry the full 5,000 from her mother (which would be something) and saving up for the younger girls' dowries thereafter—which is what would be typical, and that's why Lady Catherine was so shocked that all the girls were out at once—Mrs. Bennet's housekeeping, dress, the girls' allowance, presents of money over and above their allowance, plus whatever Mr. Bennet is spending money on (and other expenses relating to servants, carriages, maintenance &c. which are unavoidable), add up to their entire income. The only reason why Mrs. Bennet doesn't overspend even that is that that's where Mr. Bennet puts his foot down.

Mrs. Bennet is actively harming her daughters' prospects, not even of marriage, but of living respectably if they don't marry, because she doesn't have the temperance not to spend all of the income that is allotted to her. It is the role of the woman in a marriage to take charge of the housekeeping, servants, cooking, furniture, and all expenses relating thereto (plus certain attentions to her tenants and any living in genteel poverty in the area, though presumably this will depend on her income and whether there's a parish church with a parson's wife who's doing some of these things). She's an adult who should be competent to manage these things in a reasoned way without needing to be dictated to.

It is supposed to be the role of the woman in a marriage to take charge of her daughters' education—and yet Mrs. Bennet did not hire a governess, and Elizabeth says that she didn't spend much time teaching her daughters anything (it's not clear to what degree she's educated herself). Granted, the girls did have masters—but, from the sounds of things, that was only if they requested them. No one was required to learn much of anything, which will probably further harm the marriage prospects of the girls who "chose to be idle."

I think the "point" of Mrs. Bennet is that she is one half of one type of bad marriage which the novel illustrates, in contrast with the Gardiners' marriage. These marriages are two possible models for the Bennet daughters to look to. At one point, Elizabeth's prospective marriage is explicitly compared to her parents', with her in the role of her father: Mr. Bennet says "My child, let me not have the grief of seeing you unable to respect your partner in life" (emphasis original).

We might wonder whether Elizabeth saw herself potentially in the role of her father, in a marriage that was very intellectually unequal, when she rejected Mr. Collins; or whether she also saw herself in the role of her mother, married to a man who insults and doesn't respect her, when she rejected Mr. Darcy. Ultimately, she accepts Mr. Darcy after she realises that he is nothing like her father; that he is diligent in attending to his responsibilities, and that he does evidently respect her mind.

This isn't me defending Mr. Bennet, who is also a bad parent and a bad spouse. I do, however, find it a little disturbing when people suggest that Mr. Bennet is at fault for not controlling or curtailing his wife. His wife is a grown woman. Surely we don't actually believe that a situation where a man is legally in complete control over his wife, merely because he is a man and she is a woman, is in any way natural, moral, or just? (This also goes for people who suggest that Mr. Bingley needs to get his sister 'in line' 😬😬😬.)

Mrs. Bennet should be competent to manage her household and her daughters. Given that she's not, yes, Mr. Bennet, according to Georgian and Victorian ideas of the role of a man in a marriage, "should" have stepped in and started dictating to her. But I don't really think that's what Austen is suggesting went wrong here. The models of good marriages we have—the Gardiners, the Bingleys and Darcys after their weddings—are all ones in which the women were basically sensible people to begin with. In the latter two cases, we are told of particular ways in which the men stand to benefit from some mental quality of their future spouse (Elizabeth's good humour and ease in company; Jane's steadiness and determination).

The ideal which some Georgians had of a husband's role being to shape his wife's intellect doesn't seem to be what's being advocated here. If Mr. Bennet made a mistake, it was in marrying a silly, selfish, ill-tempered woman to begin with, not in failing to browbeat her into submission once he found out that she was silly, selfish, and ill-tempered. The idea is that you should choose your spouse carefully. But that message doesn't work if Mrs. Bennet is just a woman in a difficult situation who has her heart in the right place.

[saving-people-haunting-things]

The main episode tags are uninhabitable.

[bravesaboteur]

The more I think about it, the more Laios and Falin's different perceptions of their parents are a case of "same parents, different childhood".

Whenever someone asks Laios about his and Falin's family, he comments on how they treated Falin but never comments about how how their childhood affected him - in fact, he kind of glosses over it. It's Falin that everyone is rallying to save, it's Falin that's Marcille's friend, it's Falin that everyone has a positive opinion of - he's just the weirdo brother that gets to share some of her light sometimes. He's the one who's only tolerated when he's useful in a dungeon. Falin's treatment is a large part of the reason that he left, but it's the symptom of a larger issue.

When we see Laios' thoughts of his parents in his nightmares, it's all about the expectations that he's supposed to live up to: the expectation to stop being "childish", the expectation to get married (to who his parents picked) and have children, the expectation to take over from his father as the village chief, the expectation to adapt to something that he isn't able to be in the way that people want him to. And these are all things that he has had to be told in some way: he had to be told that Shuro didn't like him, he had to be told that told that the gold-peelers were taking advantage of him - these aren't thoughts that just appeared on their own, these are all failures that someone has explicitly pointed out to him and they haunt him. Some of the things he considers his biggest failures are his failure to provide for and protect Falin and those have very tangible examples he can point to.

We get a glimpse of what happens when he fails to live up to his father's expectations when Falin is born. He expects a certain reaction from Laios and when he fails to give that reaction he physically puts him down, dismisses him, and underestimates how much he understands.

And that's something that's shown to be a bit of a sore point for him - people thinking that he doesn't understand something because he doesn't express himself like people expect. The few times we see him snap at people are because people think he isn't understanding something because he isn't reacting "normally".

On Falin's side, the expectations seem to be a lot different - she's the younger one, for one, she's a girl, and she was so young when the fallout from her having magic happened. She too had an arranged engagement, but that was broken off when she was sent away to magic school and since then, their parents only seem to be passively involved in her life. She's mostly been freed of the expectations that their parents had for her in her village - she won't be coming back after all. She understands why they sent her away, she wasn't completely oblivious to the villagers treatment of her and it was, arguably, for the best so she is at peace with what their relationship is for now. But she still wants to go to her hometown and see for herself with adult eyes because she has never really had the space to do that.

I don't think their parents are inherently evil people - the truth is probably somewhere between Laios and Falin's version of the story, Laios' side tinged by too much cynicism and Falin's by too much naivete.

It just strikes me that when he tried to provide the "normal" way he failed, but given the space to do something similar to what people expected of him, but in his own way, he succeeded. He isn't perfect but his efforts are ultimately fruitful and he is able to carve out a place for himself, Falin, and others who had been ostracized like them to call home.

[bitchthefuck1]

I actually don't fully vibe with my point here anymore. I think there's definitely an element of this going on, and it was never supposed to be a full explanation of his whole "thing", but it still feels a little too simplistic and overcooked. Post cancelled.

I feel like a really crucial scene for unpacking Roman's whole "oedipal" thing is the bit in Prague where he sees Tabitha, because one of the first things he says is "dad would go fucking nuts for her." He is constantly using "well it's what dad would do" as an explanation for his actions, and I genuinely think the jokes about wanting to fuck Marcia/Caroline are less about his mommy issues and any actual attraction to maternal figures and more about "well these are the women dad's into, so they must be the right women to be attracted to." It's like a defense mechanism--Logan can't think there's something "wrong" with his sexuality if they're attracted to the same people. It's what he would do.

Except this is obviously flawed logic that only makes him seem more "wrong," because "if dad does it then he must think it's okay to do and he won't get mad at me for it" isn't even the mostly-coherent reasoning of an adult choosing a partner their parents approve of, its the logic of a kid trying not to get hit.

[ryemiffie]

I love imagining the scenario where one of Bruce's kids is getting married but no one knows Bruce's identity and it creates shenanigans. Like for example, Dick is marrying Starfire and she doesn't know Bruce's identity.

And they of course want Bruce at the wedding since he's Dick's dad, but they also want a hero as security due to the nature of the wedding, not only as a wedding between two heroes but also a Wayne wedding (not to mention holding a wedding like that in gotham is never easy) which is a pretty big deal in both respects and garners a lot of attention to be the perfect opportunity for a villian attack. So Starfire and Dick decide to request a justice league member there as security. Some heroes are eliminated due to them already being meant to attend as guests who are meant to be able to enjoy the wedding and some already have missions that need their attention, like Wonder Woman, Aquaman, and the Martian Manhunter are busy off-world, Shazam and HawkGirl are busy with a villian who's been on the run, and Superman is supposed to be doing press for the wedding as Clark, so they decide to give the task to Batman seeing as he's more than qualified and is already accustomed to the area (gotham), he can't figure out a way to decline the mission without risking his identity being leaked since he really has no reason to not be able to do it, except of course saying he has civilian business, on the day of the wedding, at the exact time of the wedding.. yeah hell no, Batman is way to paranoid to say something like that! So he agrees to do security as Batman for the wedding while also agreeing to attend the wedding as Bruce, ya' know, so people don't suspect anything about his identity due to the situation.

And before you ask yes Dick has realised the situation but no he is not helping Bruce out of it because its fucking funny to him, and none of the other batkids agree to where the suit for the day since they're also guests and they also find the situation funny as hell. So cue Bruce trying to constantly switch between making appearances as Bruce and doing security as Batman, like the classic sitcom episode where the person has to constantly switch between one date to the next, but it's Batman just trying to enjoy his kid's wedding.