#some of this might be turned into separate posts

[osterby]

So the flavour of the day is Bad Fandom Stats, and it turns out that not only is centreoftheselights using a wildly inaccurate method of counting ship popularity during a given year for the Year In Review fandom stats, but also that nearly every column on the chart is a lie. @5ummit exploded the whole methodology issue last year, so I'll just link their post and dive into other stuff.

One would think, looking at a list of popular ships with their fandoms listed next to them, that the named fandom is simply the one within which the ship exists.

The ship at the top of that list is "Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)" and the fandom is listed as "9-1-1 (TV)"; that's pretty straightforward, there's only the one TV show and those characters are from that show.

But then we get down to ships with characters that exist in multiple versions or subsections of a canon which have their own fandom tags on AO3, and things start getting janky

One of the first things I noticed was weird about this year's chart (aside from the numbers themselves being just straight up wrong) was that the fandom for Kirk/Spock was listed as "Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)", the AO3 tag for the reboot movies. That felt wrong, because while I know the reboot movies are big on AO3, most of the K/S stuff I've seen recently has either been expressly original cast or not specific to any one cast or iteration of canon.

I thought that the list might have been saying that Reboot Kirk/Spock alone was big enough to make the list while Generic and Original Kirk/Spock were separate fandoms that hadn't gotten onto the list. That would be absurd for new fic count, but there are stranger things on this list and the methodology favours newer ships, so I went digging.

A search for Kirk/Spock fic posted in 2024 and a glance at the sidebar gives us this, out of 2,255 total fics

Searching for Kirk/Spock fics updated, rather than newly posted, in 2024 also puts the All Media Types and Original Series tags above the Reboot Movies.

But searching the entire unfiltered ship tag gets us this, out of 22,426 fics

This means two things.

1.) Despite the listed fandom on the year end chart, Kirk/Spock (and by extension, all the other ships from fandoms with more than one iteration of canon [and some Batman ships are on there, so we've got far more complex things than simply reboot movies and TV/anime adaptions of novels/manga]) is a generic ship tag.

2.) the fandom listed was taken from the unfiltered tag, not from this year's data.

And centreoftheselights confirms that this is indeed her methodology.

The fandoms are, quite simply, wrong.

--

Since we do not have access to her data and her methods are not replicable, we can't check how many of the ships might have been struck with a mismatch between which version of their canon is most popular overall vs this year.

I can't even be certain that there is a mismatch for Kirk/Spock. It's possible that the fics that actually make up her numbers have more reboot movie fic than otherwise. No one will ever know.

--

It is interesting to dig into the differences. I find it utterly fascinating that Kirk/Spock had a period that pushed the reboot movies to the top of the list overall and has since settled into Original Cast being more popular, all while the ships remained consistently popular enough to regularily end up on Top Ship Lists.

Centreoftheselights' data does not allow us to dig into those differences, or even to meaningfully speculate about them.

--

And yet more! As I explained in this reblog, the "type" column is not harvested from the data itself, but is a subjective interpretation of what centreoftheselights believes the characters' genders is or could or might be. So not only are all the columns wrong, they aren't even wrong in the same ways.

Over the whole sheet, the columns are: ⚠️Rank: Well, it accurately lists the order of the inaccurate counts, so I guess the column technically isn't inaccurate ⚠️Change: This is indeed the change in rank from last year's chart. It accurately lists the difference between two different inaccurate ranks ✔️ Relationship: accurate! This is the ship tag on AO3 ❌ Fandom: Inaccurate. Actually a top tag within the ship tag, not the fandom the ship is from ❌Works Gained: Inaccurate. see @5ummit's debunk ✔️Total Works: accurate! this is indeed the size of the tag on AO3 ❌Type: Inaccurate. OP's best guess, subjective interpretation, or headcanon ❌Race: Inaccurate. Same as above.

--

Tagging @olderthannetfic and @5ummit since you two have kind of been doing the heavy lifting on this one :)

Also plugging the more accurate chart by Randomist1031, which, in addition to having accurate fic counts, also lists fandoms by generic names rather than top tag, which increaes both accuracy and readability. https://archiveofourown.org/chapters/158271001

[dunmeshistash]

If Izutsumi only has a 'bit' of human soul where's the rest of it? Dead and gone? She doesn't suffer for the lack of it, so it doesn't seem like people need their whole soul. Could someone even take the piece she's missing and stuff it into another monster??

Well, this is gonna be a lot of speculation and very little facts, so beware (will never forget you anon who said I posted my opinions without clarifying it was speculation)

My theory is that in dungeon meshi bodies and souls have some sort of relationship? After all Marcille used the dragon's flesh to resurrect Falin and that cause part of its soul to be mixed in with hers, and at the end to get rid of his soul so Falin could be brought back without being a chimera they ate it's flesh and ground up it's bones so plants would absorb it. So I think it's safe to say there's some relationship between body and soul, at least inside the dungeon where resurrection is possible.

If we take Izutsumi's timeline as a basis, she was a 6yo child when she was taken from her parent's and turned into a beastmen (you could argue that it was a 6yo monster but Izutsumi's ages like a tallman so I doubt only here it would be referring to the monster)

So she was a small child fused with a big monster, so maybe that in itself is why there's way more monster?

The other possibility is that only part of the child was fused with the monster, or perhaps they did take the soul out of her body to put it in the monster, maybe like how ghosts that don't have a body might posses someone that dies and is resurrected and their souls are fused??

But here she only talks about the "personality" changing not their appearance, I really think beastmen and chimera fusions where parts of each show up in the final form makes more sense if their bodies (along with the soul) is fused too? But I'm just speculating.

Anyway, two possibilities

The (whole) child was fused with a much bigger monster and that's why it's the smaller part

The child killed and then only part of her (or her soul) was fused with the monster

Very fucked up either way, about your question if there could be two izutsumis made from the soul of the same child I doubt it, if we take resurrection as an example I don't think they can "divide" the human soul in two different beings? Same as how they couldn't separate part of the dragon soul away from Falin's without before consuming it's flesh? So maybe they burned the rest of the child's body to get rid of the rest of her soul in that second possibility

The AB comic about resurrection says you can't really bring back someone from pieces even if you try to resurrect all of them, so I'd ASSUME that's true for trying to use the same soul for different beings

Anyway these are my thoughts, I love Izutsumi's backstory is so fucked up and tragic... what was done to her is horrible.

[mt-lowercase-m-derogatory]

I really love this post, and if I better understood why, I could explain it in shorter terms than I'm about to.

There is something pure about how well the idea of "failure standards" is separated out.

A part of me consistently tries to parse out what mood people feel is "right" for their recollections, and that part of me first just stumbled on "I can do all these really cool things" and just put a lil 🙂 (slight smile) in my mind.

There is the ghost of effort from people who would feel like they failed, but it feels like it's okay. Something was gained, and it might have been a better experience for everyone with a different understanding of people and goals... But the impression is that it turned out alright. It's like there very well might be relevant things "out of frame" that carry a very different mood, but that's not here. That's not this.

...

I've been experiencing some very different speech problems, especially in certain contexts and in the past few years, and reading this is making me realize a whole lot about them. I think the fact that I'm not actively parsing it as "not how I feel about it" makes it easier for me to compare and contrast it to my own difficulties.

(more personal stuff under the cut if anyone's interested)

I feel like I have completely opposite speech issues: I cannot do "automatic" speech tasks most of the time, but word-centered "conscious" tasks are easy.

Echolalia, single words that would communicate something important or direct attention well, singing along, or repeating/reconveying a meaning need complete focus for me.

I find it extremely easy to sensibly use complicated words and speech frameworks and keep track of all their implications and meanings.

I can hold the totality of a set of words in my heart and feel my mind racing the entailments and metaphors in them... But I find it very difficult to just... Not use them. To talk about something only in terms of signifiers already established in discussion, tracking "what gesture a word has been used and acknowledged to represent" without a framework of a thousand words.

It's not about needing to stick to dictionary definitions at all, it's about... "Semantic" meaning, the meaning that the actual significance of words represents, and not the fact that someone is saying them.

It's like if you pointed at a ball and an animal understood that you are putting the ball in focus, but not that it means you want to play with it/have it fetched/give it to the animal.

So I know this "Be careful what you say" post is an older post, but I just wanted to show you what making a lot of progress as a "nonverbal from birth" person can look like. Regarding speech.

I don't have regressive autism, my inability to speak was there since, well, forever.

So. I was put in a lot of therapies. Speech therapy to 1. learn sign language and handle an AAC device, 2. to understand spoken language (I didn't understand spoken language until I was 3), and 3. to get more conscious of what my throat does, etc. Music therapy because I always loved music and tried to hum along to songs even back when I didn't understand language.

At some point they checked if I could say single letters or words, etc. And so on. They/we tried a lot.

So, what's the result for me personally now?

I can sing along to songs as long as I know the lyrics by heart and don't have to think about what my mouth does.

I can sometimes say single words as long as I don't have to think about what my mouth does (it doesn't work if someone says "Hey, say [word]").

I can sing melodies using vowels (a, e, i, o, u), as long as these melodies don't contain words.

I have echolalia - which makes sense because echolalia is "automatic" too and not a conscious effort to speak.

So I can do ALL of these really cool things after years of therapy..........

But I still can't speak. At least I can't communicate via speech. After all these years where people tried so much, I still can't speak.

So much for learning how to do something if you just try hard enough ☝🏼

[requiemforthepoets]

first encounter ⟢ CL16

⟢ part two of you’re the closest to heaven that i’ll ever be

�� series masterlist ⟢ playlist ⟢ part three ☽

PAIRINGS: charles leclerc x celestial!reader

SUMMARY: all thanks to leo, charles finally got the chance to meet you—the celestial being who has consumed his every waking thoughts, and managed to find out new things.

REMINDERS: this is purely fiction, the way how the character is portrayed in my story does not reflect the person that is portraying my character in real life. always separate fiction from reality, and do not repost or copy my work in any way.

WARNINGS: bible angel names references, some people may find this fic offensive, concept of divine beings and heaven & life and death, no use of y/n, angels and devils, mentions of papa leclerc (beginning is set in 2017) and jules bianchi, fluff, falling (literally & figuratively) in love, named side characters, angst but with a happy ending, purely written fic, a little bit of world building (concepts), mentions of death, bad/evil people, cursing, not proofread, and typos.

WORD COUNT: 5k

AUTHOR’S NOTE: this fic may not be some people’s cup of tea, if you don’t like it, don’t read it. sorry it took me a LONG time to post the part 2 of this series, i already have this on my drafts but never got the time to check on it bc i’ve been working on my other series (fa14 series), but finally, here it is! the part 3 may take a long time to be posted again 🥲 but you don’t have to worry bc i intend on finishing this series. taglist is open for this series, so just comment or message me if you want to be tagged. your comment/reblog is highly appreciated, and i hope you’ll enjoy this second part of the series!

It was a warm late afternoon in Monaco, and Charles had finally pulled himself out of his apartment, hoping that some fresh air and Leo’s cheerful company might turn off the constant thoughts running through his mind. Since that night in Singapore, you had been all Charles could think about—the image of you standing before him, looking at him as though you knew the secrets he hadn’t even dared to ask himself. Charles had barely gotten a word in before you disappeared, leaving him with nothing but more questions.

The park was mostly empty, allowing him and Leo to stroll without the usual flood of cameras or people hoping to get a quick word with him. Charles enjoyed these rare quiet moments, watching Leo run through the grass, capturing photos of him mid-leap, his ears flapping, and his tail wagging in pure delight. For a while, it was peaceful—that is until Leo began barking persistently, his gaze fixed on something in the distance.

“Leo, calme-toi.” Charles called, trying to soothe his normally docile dachshund.

Leo rarely barked at nothing, and Charles couldn’t see what had him all stirred up. As he looked past Leo, his heart skipped. There you were, standing at the edge of the park, just as he had remembered you, dressed in black, untouched by the brightness of the world around you, as if you had stepped from a different realm entirely. Slowly, Charles walked over, kneeling beside Leo, who was still barking.

“Can you see her too, buddy?” Charles asked softly, but Leo only turned his head back towards you.

His barks began shifting into a delighted whine, tail wagging as though greeting an old friend. To Charles’ amazement, Leo took off towards you, bounding across the grass with uncharacteristic excitement. You bent down on one knee as Leo reached you, his small body pressing happily against your touch. Charles just stood there and watched, captivated by the whole sight, how your hand moved over Leo’s fur, and how the dog responded, oblivious to the fact that what he felt was something beyond the ordinary. You then looked up at Charles and smiled, a gentle, knowing expression on your face.

“Hello, little one,” you murmured to Leo, reaching out to stroke him. Your gaze followed Leo’s figure as he trotted back toward Charles. “He’s a beautiful soul. It’s clear how well you take good care of him, he is very happy with this life.”

Charles swallowed, taken aback by the warmth of your words. He felt a huge wave of relief washing over him, and somehow, you were not a figment of his imagination. You were in front of him, speaking to him, your voice soft but firm, grounding him in the reality of your presence.

Noticing a bench nearby, you gestured, “shall we sit?” Charles nodded.

He followed you as you walked, though he kept glancing around as if worried that someone might catch him talking to thin air. The two of you sat side by side, your gaze focused on Leo as he scampered around, while Charles couldn’t seem to look anywhere but at you. The silence between you felt almost sacred, deafening, thick with all the unspoken questions he longed to ask.

“I know you have many questions,” finally, you broke the silence. Your voice was gentle. “Especially as to why you can see me, when others could not.”

Charles let out a shaky breath, nodding. “I—I don’t understand. I’ve seen you before, but you keep on disappearing, and no one else…they never see you.” his voice was a soft murmur, filled with confusion and wonder.

“Our kind, like myself, we’re not meant to be seen by human eyes. We’re here to watch and guide, but only from afar. Most humans only sense us as a passing feeling, a presence.” you softly said, as you studied him with a faint smile. “But in your case, you see me. Truly see me.”

“Why, though? Why am I able to see you?” Charles’ brows furrowed, his gaze intent on yours.

You turned to look at Leo, who was now sitting a short distance away, watching the two of you with a curious tilt of his head, and you couldn’t help but smile at the sight of Leo.

“It’s rare, Charles. But sometimes, there is a connection between our kind to your kind that goes beyond the veil. I’ve thought about it myself, and though I don’t have all the answers, it’s clear that there’s a reason you and I keep crossing paths.”

Charles’ heart raced. The way you spoke, as though fate had woven an invisible thread between you had left him reeling. He glanced around the park, reminded of how strange this conversation must look to anyone passing by, but he did not care at all. The need to understand, to know you, outweighed any risk of prying eyes.

“Maybe…maybe we should go somewhere less public?” Charles suggested, his voice low.

He did not want this moment to end, he couldn’t let you disappear on him again before he had the chance to understand this kind of connection. You looked at him for a long contemplative moment, then nodded.

“All right, lead the way.”

Charles led you quietly through the streets of Monaco and up to his apartment. He hadn’t said much on the way, clearly lost in thought, yet there was an unspoken understanding between the two of you. When you entered his apartment, you immediately noticed how it held an essence of him. Warm, understated, and filled with memories. The walls were decorated with framed photographs spanning his life from childhood karting days to podium celebrations in F1. Trophies were all lined up on the shelf, and each piece seemed to carry a story of its own.

You were drawn to the photos, especially those capturing his relationships, the warm smiles he shared with his family, playful moments with his friends, and candid shots of him and his brothers. Then your gaze settled on one particular photograph, and a bittersweet feeling bloomed within you. It was a younger version of Charles, perhaps in his teens, standing alongside a man whose face you recognize. Jules Bianchi.

Charles noticed the direction of your attention as he finished filling up Leo’s dog bowl, and he stepped over to join you, his expression softening as he saw the photograph. Jules had been so much more than just a mentor to him. The man in that photo had shaped parts of his soul and his dreams. You could feel the weight of Charles’ emotions lingering in the air, a tender ache mixed with recognition.

“You knew him?” Charles’ voice was quiet as he stood beside you.

You nodded softly, your own voice taking on a gentle tone. “I was there in his final moments. I was the one who guided him when he was ready to go, helping him crossover.”

Charles’ face was a mix of expression, caught between surprise and disbelief. For a second, he seemed unable to respond, the information settling slowly. You watched him intently as he took a deep breath, grounding himself.

“You…you spoke to him?” he managed, his voice strained with a mix of sorrow and longing.

“Yes,” you said, your voice steady but tender. “I spoke with his soul as he lingered between here and the afterlife. It was…peaceful. He was calm when I arrived, almost as if he knew he was not going to stay.”

You paused, “I then asked him about his life, what his favorite thing about life was.”

”He told me that his family meant everything to him. He then mentioned being a godfather, and his dreams for his protégé, a young man named Charles.” you added.

“He said that?” he whispered, breath hitched as he instinctively reached up to touch the frame, his fingers resting just over the image of Jules’ face.

“He spoke of you with such pride, with hope that you would go on to achieve everything he had dreamed for you. Jules saw himself in you, Charles. His last thoughts were with his family and you.” you looked at him softly. A quiet rage simmered in Charles’ eyes as he turned to look at you, his voice tinged with frustration.

“But why? Why couldn’t you let his family speak to him, too? They waited for so long, hoping he’d wake up, to say goodbye properly.” the raw pain and anger in his voice were unmistakable.

Charles had not meant to question your intentions, but the loss of Jules had carved a wound that had never fully healed, and in his grief, he momentarily forgot you were not human. You looked at him with a soft, understanding smile, letting the weight of his sorrow wash over you. You had witnessed this kind of reaction before, how those who are grief-stricken often felt deprived of closure.

“I understand, Charles. If I could have done differently, I would have,” you replied, your voice gentle but firm. “But it wasn’t his body I spoke to, it was his soul. Jules was already watching from the other side, beyond the reach of the physical world. In those moments, he wasn’t in his body anymore, he was seeing all of you from a place where time no longer held sway.”

Charles looked down, processing your words, the anger fading slowly as he tried to keep his emotions steady. He tried to reconcile his emotions with the reality of what you had just shared. He ran a hand through his hair, gaze fixed on the floor as he took in a shaky breath.

“So he…he was watching us all along?” he whispered.

“Yes,” you assured him. “He was with you. Every tear, every moment spent beside his hospital bed, he saw it all, even if he himself couldn’t respond in a way you wished for it to be.”

“Souls don’t always leave the way we want them to. They transition gently, often lingering just to be close to the people they love.” you added. Charles’ shoulder slumped slightly, and he let out a shaky sigh, nodding as if finally accepting what had once seemed unimaginable.

“It…it makes sense,” he murmured. “Jules was always calm, even in the most difficult moments. Maybe he knew it would be easier this way.”

There was a peaceful silence that settled between the both of you, the only sound being Leo’s soft footsteps as he padded over to sit by Charles’ feet. Charles looked at you again, the sorrow in his eyes tinted by a glimmer of gratitude.

“Thank you,” he said quietly, a sincerity in his words that touched you deeply. “For…for being there with him, and for telling me.”

You gave him a reassuring nod, feeling the depth of his appreciation. “He is proud of you, Charles. More than you know. You are honoring his legacy every time you step onto the track.”

Charles closed his eyes briefly, absorbing your words, a new sense of peace settling over him. He knew that the ache would remain, but perhaps now, with you there to share this part of Jules’ journey, it would be a little easier to carry.

Eventually, you found yourself seated on the barstool, observing how Charles moved around the kitchen, gathering ingredients as he prepared a dish called pasta, and noting the way he moved with a quiet confidence. He seemed at ease, but you could tell by the occasional glance he cast your way that he was still processing everything. The strange connection he had with you, a Celestial he could see but others could not. As he stirred the sauce on the stove, he broke the silence, glancing over his shoulder with a raised eyebrow.

“So…what exactly are you?” Charles asked, attempting to sound casual, though his curiosity was clear. “Are you like an angel of death or something?” his brows furrowed slightly as he added.

“No, Charles. I’m not here to take you away,” you assured him, tone gentle, and couldn’t help but smile at his suspicion. “Think of me as a guide and a protector. My duty is to help souls cross the afterlife, to make sure that they are not alone and lonely when they cross the other side.”

“So, you’re…you’re not here for me?” he asked, his voice tentative. You could see the worry in his eyes, as if he had been half afraid that he might be speaking with the very spirit that would one day guide him out of this life.

“Not at all,” you replied. “I’m here because, somehow, we have this connection. I was there in the hospital room, with your father, when you saw me for the first time. It was a natural part of my duty, I was waiting to guide him. Just as I was there for Jules.”

“So you only appear when…someone’s close to death?” Charles’ gaze dropped to the countertop, and he nodded slowly, as if piercing it all together.

“Typically, yes,” you replied. “Humans are not meant to see me. They may sense it, a presence, calmness, or even a cool warmth when I’m near, but that’s usually all. So, I could not quite understand why you could see me. It isn’t common.”

“But I can see you.” he said, almost to himself, as if still trying to grasp this phenomenon.

“Exactly.” you looked at him thoughtfully. “Over time, as I have watched over you, you’ve somehow become aware of me. It’s as if the bond between us allowed you to see me when others can’t.”

You let the words hang, hoping it answered the mystery that had puzzled him for so long. Charles turned back to the stove, his movements slower, as if he were allowing himself time to absorb what you had just said. After a moment, he turned to look at you again.

“Back in Singapore…I kept thinking of you, wondering if you were real or just in my head.” he hesitated, then continued. “And you appeared, it was like you sensed me or something.”

“That’s precisely what happened,” a gentle smile crossed your face as you saw the gears turning inside his head. “I could feel your thoughts, your longing to see me, and so I came to you. Your thoughts, they called to me.”

“But why do you always disappear?” he asked, his tone a mix of curiosity and exasperation. “Every time I think I already have you here, you’re gone the second I look away.”

“It’s not by choice, Charles.” you met his gaze, understanding his frustration. “My presence here beside you is not permanent. I have duties beyond just watching over you, it is my duty to guide other people as well. My duty is to help those souls cross peacefully into the afterlife, which means I’m often called away. That’s why I can’t always be here, even if you want me to be.”

“I understand,” he said softly as he looked down, absorbing your words. “It’s…strange, but it does make sense.”

A comfortable silence fell between you and Charles as he took out a plate and transferred the pasta dish on it. You could still feel the wheels turning in his mind as he processed everything. After a moment, you spoke again.

“If you want me to be with you, well, there is a way.” you said.

He looked up at you, now intrigued. “A way?”

You nodded. “Yes. If you light a match or a lighter and call for me, then blow it out, I’ll hear it, and I’ll come to you.”

“Why a match?” Charles’ brows furrowed as he considered it.

“Fire.” you explained. “It is a symbol of transition. It’s an ancient element that is used to connect realms, to call forth spirits, and to bridge the distance between worlds. When you light a match or a lighter, you are creating a momentary flame that connects you to my realm, and when you blow the fire out, it becomes a message—a summons. I’ll hear it, wherever I am.”

“So, I just…call out to you, light a flame, and you’ll come?” Charles’ lips curved into a small smile.

“Yes.” you returned his smile, feeling the warmth in his gaze. “As long as you need me, Charles. Wherever you are, I’ll always find a way to be there.”

Charles looked at you with a mix of gratitude and something deeper, a newfound comfort that seemed to settle over him. In that quiet moment, Charles reached for his fork, but his gaze lingered on you, a newfound clarity softening his features.

“Thank you.” he murmured, voice barely above a whisper.

He then placed a plate of pasta right in front of you, and you tilted your head, looking at the dish with sheer curiosity and slight confusion. Charles noticed your expression, stopping mid-motion as he raised his own fork.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, his voice gentle but genuinely concerned.

“I don’t…eat,” you explained softly, gaze flickering between him and the plate, offering him a small, apologetic smile. “Celestials don’t have the need for food, so I don’t know what it’s like to taste something, let alone pasta.” you could see a flicker of surprise and something that almost looked like offense pass over his face.

“What? You’ve never tasted pasta?” he asked, shocked, as he looked down at his beloved dish, looking genuinely horrified. “Pasta is…it’s comforting, it’s warmth and tradition. It’s something everyone has to try.”

“Okay, imagine this—it’s soft and a little chewy, warm and…kind of like a hug, but for your mouth.” he added, grinning at you with his eyes lighting up. “And with this tomato sauce, its got this balance of sweet and tangy, a bit salty too, it just…makes everything feel better.” his expression softened.

You watched Charles as he spoke, entranced and touched by his earnest attempt to describe something so familiar to him yet so foreign to you. Spending this time with him, watching his animated expression, hearing his heartfelt explanations, you begin to understand why his father and Jules had spoken of him so warmly in their final moments. Charles was not only passionate, but genuinely kind and unpretentiously funny. There was a gentleness to him that touched your heart, even if it couldn’t beat the way a human’s did.

Hours slipped by so fast, and you both found yourselves seated on his living room couch, talking quietly, the evening light fading around you. Charles asked questions after questions, fascinated by your world and by what you do. You answered each one as best as you could, and with each answer, his awe seemed to deepen. You shared stories of guiding other souls, moments of peace and love you had witnessed. He listened, hanging onto each word, and you could see a newfound calmness in his eyes.

While you were in the middle of telling him a story about guiding an elderly woman who had waited until all her children were by her side before letting go, you heard a soft sound. Glancing to your right, you found Charles with his head tipped back against the couch cushion, his breathing steady and calm. He had drifted off, exhaustion settling over him like a soft blanket. For a moment, you just watched him, studying his peaceful face. Charles’ long lashes rested against his cheeks, and a gentle warmth seemed to radiate from him, a stark contrast to the chill you carried with you.

A quiet yearning tugged at you as you lifted a hand, your fingers hovering near his face. You wanted, just once, to feel the warmth of human skin, to know what it was like to truly touch, but you know better. If you let your fingers graze him, he would only feel a cold wisp of air, a reminder that you didn’t belong to this world in the same way as Charles did. So, reluctantly, you lowered your hand and simply looked at him, memorizing the moment.

You had spent nearly the entire day with Charles, and though part of you longed to stay, you knew it was time to leave. Quietly, you stood up from the couch and made your way to where Leo was resting nearby. You knelt down beside the little dachshund, who lifted his head to watch you with those soulful eyes, tail giving a soft wag, and you reached out, your fingers ghosting over his fur.

“Leo, I know that your past life was not kind to you and had been cut short, but you’re safe now. In this life, you’re well taken care of and so loved.” you spoke softly, as Leo seemed to tilt his head, like he understood every word you say. “Charles is a good man, he will love and take care of you, always.”

As you straightened up, Leo continued to watch you, his eyes filled with a sense of understanding. You turned to take one last look at Charles, still asleep on the couch, chest rising and falling in steady rhythm. A soft smile crept over your face as you watched him, there was a wave of warmth washing over you, even without a heartbeat to drive it.

With a final, quiet glance at Leo, who looked back at you with trusting eyes, you let yourself disappear, and slipped back into the unseen world that had always separated you from the people you guided. Yet, for a short moment, you knew you had left a part of yourself with Charles and Leo in that Monaco apartment.

Charles woke up with a dull ache running through his neck, reminding him of the night he had spent sleeping on the couch. He rubbed the sore spot, groaning slightly as he tried to stretch out the stiffness. For a moment, he just sat there, gathering his thoughts, until the memories of last night’s memory surfaced. The conversation, quiet moments, and then the emptiness when he realized you had left. He sat back on the couch, staring at the ceiling as a sense of longing settled over him, a quiet ache that wasn’t so easily stretched away.

A small bark drew his attention to Leo, who was sitting nearby, watching him with an endearing tilt of his head, and noticing Charles’ contemplative state. He smiled and reached out, calling Leo over.

“What do you think, Leo? It was one strange night, huh?” Leo padded over gently, wagging his tail as Charles scooped him up, holding him close.

For a few minutes, Charles simply enjoyed and basked in the warmth of Leo in his arms, the familiar comfort that Leo offered in the midst of all the strange, unexplainable things that he was feeling. Last night had been a fever dream for him, but he knew that it was real, that it happened.

“Do you think it’s strange? Wanting to see her again?” he added. Leo just responded with a quiet, comforting look and nestled close to Charles.

After a while, curiosity began to gnaw at him. Charles could not shake the desire to know more about you, as to why he felt this pull, this connection that seemed impossible and yet so real. He padded into his bedroom, grabbed his laptop and settled in, typing Celestial Angels into the search bar. Countless articles, myths, and even fiction flooded his screen. Charles sifted through several pages, skipping over anything that seemed overly romanticized or far-fetched, until one article caught his eye.

The article spoke of Celestial Angels who formed deep bonds with their humans, describing how they acted as protectors, watchers, and guides. It mentioned the rare connection that could occur, a phenomenon where an angel might become so deeply intertwined with a human soul that they developed a sense of longing or even love, something that was both a blessing and a curse for the Celestial. As he read further, Charles could not help but wonder if this was what he had experienced, if this was the reason he kept seeing you, why he felt such a pull toward you.

Charles then stumbled upon a book: The Celestials by an author named Celestine Williams. The cover featured a faint, ethereal image of a figure wrapped in light, the silhouette barely discernible, much like he imagined you, and the description noted that it explored the stories and folklore surrounding Celestials and their interactions with humans, a deep dive book. The reviews were glowing, a few feedbacks talking about how the book shed light on the mysteries of these beings and the unique connections they could form. Without a second thought, Charles clicked buy, hoping the book would give him a glimpse into your world, something that might help him understand you much better.

Charles then returned his attention back to the article. But his focus kept drifting, thoughts of you had surfaced in his mind unbidden, wondering where you were right now, what you might be doing, if you were watching over someone else or wandering through some hidden place unknown to humans. The pull to see you, to call you, was growing stronger by the second, becoming a quiet ache that settled deep in his chest.

He set the laptop aside, exhaling as he mulled over the idea. Charles remembered what you had told him when he needed you—that he could call you by lighting a match or a lighter, a summon that would draw you to him. He doesn't know if it would even work, or if you would even come, but the need to see you was already overriding any doubts that he has. So he then grabbed a small lighter that he kept somewhere hidden in his kitchen and went to his living room, sitting down on the couch with Leo curled up beside him.

Charles knew it was kind of absurd, like it was something straight out of a fairy tale of a late-night ghost story, but last night, you had told him that if he wanted to see you, all he had to do was light a flame and call out to you. A part of him, the rational side, wanted to shrug it off as nonsense. But then the other part of him had witnessed things that were impossible and felt that strange connection to you, urging him to at least give it a try.

“Am I really fucking doing this?” he murmured, looking down at Leo for approval. But Leo just looked at him, with a face that said ‘what’s the harm in trying?’ “Ah, fuck it.”

Finally, with a deep breath, he flicked the lighter on, watching the tiny flame flame dance as he whispered out to you, a barely audible plea for you to return. The flame flickered as he called out to you, then he blew it out gently, his eyes lingering on the wisp of smoke that rose and faded. His heart was pounding, unsure if should expect an immediate response or if he had simply made a wish to the empty air.

A hush settled over the quiet living room, and for a moment, nothing really happened. Charles felt a pang of disappointment, even a touch of embarrassment at how eager he was and had hoped. He let out a disheartening chuckle, letting out a quiet sight right after, and lowering the lighter, thinking that maybe he had been mistaken or that the depth of the bond he felt was just his pure imagination.

Just as he stood up, about to return the lighter back into the kitchen, Charles felt a shift in the air, a delicate, almost undetectable shimmer, like a faint breeze brushing across his skin. He looked up, and there you were, standing in the soft morning light, an almost imperceptible glow framing your presence. The world seemed to pause, the weight of the day fading away as he took in the sight of you. You stood there, a soft, otherworldly light around you, the faintest hint of warmth in your eyes as you looked at him. Charles felt his breath hitching, he had not realized how much he missed seeing you until now. He began feeling a strange mix of relief and happiness.

“You called for me?” you asked softly, your voice like a distant melody.

Charles nodded, suddenly feeling a little bit embarrassed, but unable to look away at you. “I…I did, I hope it’s okay. I just…” he paused, fumbling over his words. “I wanted to see if it works, and to see you again. I don’t know why, but I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”

“You’re allowed to call for me, Charles. That’s why I told you how you can reach for me.” you smiled gently, a warmth in your expression that seemed to reach him despite your distance.

“I’ve been reading about Celestial Angels, trying to understand.” he let out a soft chuckle, placing his hands inside of his pockets, feeling uncharacteristically vulnerable. “I came across all these stories about angels who…form connections with their humans.” Charles looked down, collecting his thoughts.

“I guess I just wanted to understand what we have. Why do you keep on appearing, and why does it feel like I know you, even though I don’t really.” he added.

“The connection between an angel and their human isn’t something that happens every day. It’s rare, something beyond explanation.” your expression softened, and took a slow step forward, closing the gap between you. “We’re not supposed to form attachments, but sometimes, it’s as if the universe allows it, just for a moment.”

“So…it’s real, then? I’m not imagining it at all?” his gaze never leaving you, but filled with curiosity.

“No, Charles,” you shook your head. “You’re not imagining it. It’s real. You were always different, even from the first time I saw you.”

“I don’t know what this all means, but I want to understand.” he let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding, voice quiet, and a raw honesty was lacing his tone as he held your gaze.

“Sometimes, understanding isn’t possible, not in a way humans desire. Some things simply are.” you said quietly.

You then placed a hand near his, close enough that Charles could almost feel your presence, but not quite touching. The silence stretched, rich and weighty, filled with words left unsaid. Finally, he managed a faint smile.

“Thank you. For you know, for coming.” Charles said softly.

“For you, I always will.” you replied, smiling at him.

taglist : @charlesgirl16 , @chloes-book-corner , @wierdflowerpower

[turtle-ly]

So a lot of monkeys died. And wukong crossed a lot of monkey names from diyu book. Are there a bunch of monkeys in the white void like baal and aym

Thank you for the ask! This is gonna be long lmao, to answer this question we need to be clear on some things:

Wukong crossed out his own name, mac's name, and some monkeys names from the scrolls of death, effectively made their souls no longer tethered to diyu's alert system for collecting when they die. Instead their souls got tied to wukong as their new "death king"

When people die, their souls get separated from their bodies. To be resurrected, they theoretically need both the soul and the body to merge in order to interact with things in the mortal realm/earth

Wukong's prison (the moutain) is not in any of the pre-existing realms. It's actually its own pocket dimension. idk if i made it clear in the fic but i had this info in the inspiration post. Which means the "gate" or barrier between wukong's realm and the other realms is much, much tighter compared to the celestial's or diyu's and earth. You can only transfer matters to it through established connections, say, like the chains channeling the energy of the containment seals from the mortal realm that the camel ridge trio and dbk is holding.

Does this mean they can travel to wukong's prison? not quite, like i say, the gate is Very small, and you cant just waltz in knowing there's a hole to it. humans cant travel to the celestial realm or diyu even if the connections are stronger yknow?

Now, here's another gate to wukong: the shadows. Shadow exists in that moutain, even in another realm, so theoretically if you were to travel in the shadow realm, you might find a gateway leading to the shadows in wukong's prison. But finding that gateway is a problem, squeezing yourself through that gateway is a whole other can of worms

When erlang shen burnt down the mountain, he didnt use just any fire, but the Furnace's Fire, the one capable of melting down immortality or say, souls. All the mortal and "immortal" monkeys who were caught in that fire got erased, the fire is the magical equivalent of white phosphorus and shit. So there were nothing to attempt merging or resurrecting those monkes :(

Of course, there were a few monkeys that werent burnt by Laozi's fire, even though they still died by Heaven's weapons. Their souls got separated, no way to merge with their decaying bodies on their own, but they cant find the way to wukong's realm either because they cant access the shadow realm. So yes, there are ghost monkes on FFM now, wandering souls forever feeling the urge to go somewhere yet they dont even know why or how :((( even if they are brought to the shadow realm and somehow get to wukong, they are still ghosts, unable to carry their mortal bodies thru the gate

So how did mac get in? well here's where i go apeshit with my hc: mac isnt actually soul-solid??? in my shadowpee births hc post i implied that mac was born from the shadows of earth convened. Shadows are not alive, are they? he's pure magic gained sentience. That explains how he could get to wukong's realm the way water leak through the cracks on walls, he has no body once he died, his form bleeding shadows and returning to the earth as dbk described in chapter 5

Wukong, on the other hand, was born from life magic and the blessings of the world. There was so much life energy in his components that even though he's technically a rock, he has a heart and is mortal at birth. shadowpee were so close to each other that mac's magic was affected to a degree that he grew a heart too :))) its part of his magic core separated, a mimic placed in front of the real thing. when he died it turned back to pure shadow, erlang's weapon piercing both his "heart" and his magic core

Sowwy for going off on a tangent about souls system but i got too excited about lore lmao. i could go on about the differeces bettween dbk's core and the camel ridge trio's cores too but i feel like you dont wanna read 10+ points on a reply for One ask. so yeah, ghost monkes, shadow monke, lets leave it until another reader send me an ask for it, which could be never <3

[jaijeijayjei]

In Defense of Mel Medarda

TLDR; Many viewers accuse Mel of hating or having disdain for Viktor. However, Mel has consistently shown she respects and cares about him as a person.

1. The Lab Scene

“Mel looked at Viktor with disdain and ignored him”

- Mel focused on Jayce because he was more likely to be persuaded. She was being pragmatic and defending her stance. She isn’t making a personal dig against Viktor.

- Making sweeping assumptions about Mel’s perception of Vik based on ONE scene is crazy. More on this later.

2. Hextech Weapons

“Mel wanted to turn Viktor’s invention into a weapon”

-Jayce used hextech to attack a factory and outfit a kill squad. Viktor used hextech to make super soldiers for a warlord. Yet Mel gets so much hate for suggesting weapons ONCE? And, for the rest of the show she is strictly against Hextech as a weapon.

- In S2E1 Mel tells Jayce, “I won’t let them corrupt your dream,” then the shot pointedly draws attention to her grasping Viktor’s cane. She’s most likely referring to both of them. In any case, Mel ultimately respected Viktor’s wishes (looking at you Jayce).

3. Mel’s perception of Viktor

- Mel respects Viktor’s skills and abilities. In S2E8 Mel describes Jayce and Viktor as “two brilliant young inventors…rallying the hope and hearts of a nation.” She sponsored hextech for years because she believed in the two of them.

- Mel has empathy for Viktor. You can see it in her expression when she learns he’s dying. She encourages Jayce to spend time with Vik so he won’t be alone. She goes to check on him after the explosion and is visibly concerned. “He’ll come back to us”

4. Other Thoughts

- Mel doesn’t hate Zaunites. She’s the first to vote for their independence. After the attack she and Caitlyn argue it was caused one person, not all of Zaun, and advocate against invasion. When Caitlyn reveals her plan she’s clearly disturbed. (Might make a separate post on this)

- One conversation doesn’t indicate the whole scope of a relationship. Here’s an example, Jayce told Viktor, to his face, that Zaunites are dangerous and scolded him like a child. Does that mean Jayce hated Vik? No, was a lapse in judgement, not an indication he secretly looked down on Viktor. Why does Mel get so much more hate?

- Mel, at her core, is a good hearted person who values peace and mercy. Yes she has many flaws but characterizing her as a cold, self-serving person is incredibly unfair.

- If Jayce could see how two of the most important people to him are pitted against each other he’d be disappointed.

Thanks to @magalimoons, @starglossie, @bichletmepickaname, @mercutio-the-velaryon and nayabayybe on TikTok for inspiring some of these points.

[b33tlejules]

Revised relationship chart between mine and @localcryptic's sidesteps.

Explanation if anyone cares:

Ripley and Teo: Siblings. Brother and sister, Ripley's older. Live together, do villain shit together, codependent as hell post-heartbreak. Ripley's the yapper, Teo's the more quiet one. Do not separate them.

Rhan and Teo: Exes, dated on and off. Rhan wasn't really as romantically into it as Teo was, and saw it more an excuse to hook up every now and then. It wasn't a very fulfilling relationship for either of them, so the breakup was relatively smooth all things considered.

Al and Teo: Lovers <3 Started as villain rivals, then made out in the tunnels, then Teo performed life saving surgery on Al, then gave Al a place to stay after she broke up with Judas. Now they're taking things slower. Kind of did their relationship shit out of order but hey! They got where they needed to be. Also Teo helped Al realize she was trans that's a big one.

Judas and Teo: Judas has no clue who Teo is, besides the vague idea of someone who picked Al up after they broke up. Teo knows too much about Judas from Al and may or not be planning on ruining his life. The haterisms are more one sided.

Al and Judas: Where do we even begin here. Al and Judas were peak toxic yaoi of their time. Judas, a person notoriously obsessed with control, got into a very close relationship with Al, a person notoriously prone to being manipulated. Their relationship had a very classic "you belong to me" "okay <3 yay <3" dynamic happening between those twinks. What was once endearing turned sour once Judas suspected Al was talking to other villains. It got to the point where he slit her throat, failed to kill her, got stabbed by Al, and Al still apologized to Judas. They kept dating after that! All it took was Teo finding the tracking device Judas put on Al's suit for Al to finally put her foot down and say "Yknow what? fuck this" and she left him.

Ripley and Judas: Ripley just hates the guy on principle. Judas' tendency to attempt to establish his authority everywhere he goes versus Ripley's natural hatred for anyone with authority.

Rhan and Judas: Coworkers. For some reason I have no idea what their actual dynamic is. Judas hired Rhan once for a job and then became the person he vented to when Judas and Al broke up. Rhan keeps blocking his number but for some reason Judas is under the impression they're friends.

Al and Rhan: They don't know eachother very well. Rhan knows Al is the person Teo's seeing after they broke up. Al knows that Rhan was the person Teo was seeing before they got together (and a little bit during. It was complicated.) Who is jealous of who? Don't worry about it.

Ripley and Rhan: Haters but for no real reason. They're both assholes with weird complexes and gay in the opposite directions from one another. If they were normal kids they would've played wolves together. But they're grown ass adult regenes and neither are willing to be friends.

Ripley and Al: In avi's words: "Ripley acts like he's annoyed [by Al and Teo] but he actually thinks it's cute. He likes seeing Teo so happy. Al might think Teo's affection is more subdued but Ripley knows Teo, and that this is the height of romance for her. He genuinely really likes Al in that 'if you break my sister's heart you're fucking dead' kind of way. Once he gets past the initial 'There is a Stranger in my House' weirdness, [Ripley and Al would] end up being really close. Al probably thinks Ripley hates her a little bit because Ripley shows his genuine affection through loving teasing. Ripley hopes Teo and Al stay together forever"

[radioactive-killjoy]

I’m watching the Final Fifteen and at 40:49 I realize that you CAN actually see Give Me Coffee or Give Me Death through the window (which I’m sure others have pointed out but my understanding of the layout of that street isn’t very good), and then a few seconds later Aziraphale DOES look over at the window. So he knows that’s where the Metatron went and can even possibly see Muriel and the Metatron. In fact, Aziraphale looks to his left (Metatron) six times, plus an additional two when the POV is from behind him.

Then I watched the speech again. Now, I know that Crowley has always been more in tune with Aziraphale than vice versa (“I know what you smell like,” talking about Aziraphale calling for three reasons) but Crowley was not being subtle. He said he wanted to go first AND he says “Really?” when Aziraphale interrupts him. So Aziraphale is choosing to carry on anyway.

I’ve always hated when Aziraphale calls Crowley “the bad guys” because both seasons made it clear that Aziraphale doesn’t really see Crowley as being part of Hell. I thought it was out of character and needlessly cruel. But when Aziraphale says “We can be together…angels” it made me realize that he’s trying to get Crowley to read between the lines. Saying “I need you” was his last resort. Through the rest of his speech, he’s expecting Crowley to pick up on the things he’s not explicitly saying.

Whenever Aziraphale and Crowley have secret codes, Crowley always comes up with them. I’m thinking of “to the world” which is about more than the world. Crowley isn’t picking up on Aziraphale’s pleading because Aziraphale tends to be straightforward with him. Why wouldn’t he take this at face value when Aziraphale is telling him angel or bust?

Aziraphale and Crowley are exposed in the bookshop. This is not a private moment for them. He can’t be honest with Crowley for so many reasons, and this is BEFORE he knows about the real danger. When Crowley doesn’t pick up on what Aziraphale isn’t saying, the only thing Aziraphale can do is push him away. There is no other response he could have given to the kiss if he was under ANY impression that the Metatron was watching.

I don’t know if the Metatron really knows the extent of their relationship, but the moment he brings up Crowley as a sort of ally to Aziraphale, Aziraphale freezes. If Aziraphale showed that he valued Demon!Crowley more than Angel!Crowley, then that would raise suspicions. So he has to play it off like that’s what he would want. He has to say, multiple times, that he wants Crowley back as an angel. Anyone watching the show should know that it’s just not true. It’s Demon!Crowley for him, every time.

[enden-k]

promise

[freaky-flawless]

It's black history month and I wanted to draw some black monsters, particularly ones that don't get enough love!

ID in alt!

[bromcommie]

I AIN'T MARCHING ANYMORE a steve rogers playlist, start to finish

Listen on YouTube (click on images for full resolution!)

sam | nat | bucky

[buttercup-barf]

Under the cut are mostly self-insert doodles of decreasing quality. Again, not much directly tied to Team Fortress 2. Might as well toss these out while I have no access to my puter. Much yapping under the cut and in the tags incoming.

Another self-insert, this time less of a "here's me as a tenth class" and more of a "here's my game experiences translated into the class I would take the place of". The Cleaner. Although I guess they could still be wearing either suit. It doesn't matter that much.

That one Convict's Case taunt with Backup would be extremely funny, because the man would be on the verge of a breakdown (he does not want to go to jail so bad you have no idea). The second image- I owe no explanation. You know what I am. You see the pattern with my favourites.

The duality of the man. Resting face versus "just heard you express interest in religion/Russian folklore" face. He's not that hard to make friends with, when you pull him away from all the explosions.

Some doodles of trying to figure his face out. Unfortunately, the more I stare at him, the more I worry that he looks like A Certain Guy With The Last Name "Kazarin", and the fear of never being original in my life caught up to me.

Don't look at me, don't perceive me, I refuse to explain any of my actions to you.

[brittlebutch]

it's actually so fascinating to me that Brennan has created a character that maintains a pretty relaxed and mild-mannered demeanor and has said multiple times that the absolute Core of her is "FEAR" and how often we see this Fear manifest specifically in Avoidance; it really nails a relationship to that mentality where your brain fully Stops recognizing the emotion properly out of like, sheer self-defense from the stress of having to carry it all the time

I think this is also perfectly showcased in the way we tend to see Tula swing so suddenly from 'level and steady' to 'snarling Panic' and then back again - Just because your brain has detached itself from the Conscious Recognition of the emotion doesn't mean it can Actually stop itself from experiencing it. So the Fear is always there and always acting as a stressor, but because of that inability to Identify it there's no way to recognize or address it before that final straw hits and your bodymind jumps Straight into Full Meltdown Mode; but then once again, once you drop even a Little bit below that Peak Terror your brain ceases to process the emotion; it's like the most exhausting form of Poor Object Permanence in the world

And even if Tula is aware of this happening to her, that doesn't really make it any easier to deal with / address. Even if you're able to spot the symptoms Around the emotion -- chest pain, irritation, nausea, whatever -- because the Emotion Itself is basically impossible to find, you can't really Successfully Pin Down what the problem is OR a way to cope with it. If you can't figure out That You Are Anxious, then figuring out What Is Making You Anxious is impossible, which makes Find A Way To Make Peace With That incomprehensible. That's where the Avoidance comes in: you can no longer identify what might be a Dangerous Situation, which means that Anything New has a big potential to be Really Bad in a variety of ways (ranging "I don't Feel Good" to "Fully Lashing Out bc you've entered Fight/Flight and can't get out of it" to "Actual Outside Danger This Time") and that means the Only Way you know how to be Safe is to just Avoid Doing Anything New and Only stick to Familiar Situations, because anything unfamiliar is a monster of a gamble you don't know how to prepare for or cope with

[girls-and-honey]

.

[mydaylight]

If Julian Fellowes really intends to make us go through a GeorgeBertha divorce a la the Vanderbilts, can we at least have Alva's 1884 pregnancy first? I mean I am not usually a huge fan of pregnancy storylines but the least they could do is to give us something sweet to tide us over

(I mean I'm definitely not convinced it will happen, but just saying)

[sundial-bee-scribbles]

Okay fine I made a Flower playlist

Honestly the only reason Fear Garden is there because y'know. Plant joke.

Though if i just make Flower a plant creature it could fit in a different way 👀

-🌟

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omg that was fast HKDJGHKJHK didnt mean to rush 😭

interesting song choices here too... theorizes in my head

and hmmmm though if you do have plans for plant flower i would b willing to hear... 👀