#some of these are more ties but I did my best

[catchastarorten]

—Pause the game.

Pairing: the salesman/recruiter x wife!fem!reader

Summary: your husband had some ‘work’ to take care of with the two people that had been trailing after him all day, but when your call came in, and when he found out that you felt sick, you became much more important than whatever he had going on.

Warnings: mainly fluff, mentions of Woo-seok and Jeong-rae following snd spying on him, some parts of the Russian roulette game, he’s soft for you, he misses you, English isn’t my first language, mistakes should be present, not proofread, sorry!

Word count: ~ 1.4k

The day had been long, even by his standards. A hundred lottery scratchers, a hundred loaves of bread, the park, the homeless. He had been up to a little ‘social experiment’. Even then, he caught onto the two men who had been trailing behind him since the subway station.

He wasn’t stupid. Someone was after him, and these two lackeys were clearly here to track him down. His best guess? Seong Gi-hun.

Woo-seok and Jeong-rae had been following him like shadows—clumsy ones, attempting to blend in with the surroundings every time he stopped, as if they expected him to turn around and strike at any moment. And eventually, he did.

He had let them tail him, then to his surprise, they made the first move down an alleyway to avoid losing him. By the time they realized they had made a mistake, it was too late. He had taken them down quickly, efficiently, the way he always handled these things. No emotions, no hesitation.

Jeong-rae had gone down first, crumpled to the ground. Woo-seok tried to fight back with the poor attempt of using a small knife, but a sharp blow of the suitcase to his head had knocked him out.

Now, they were sitting across from each other, bound to chairs, tied up with ropes, their mouths gagged, their muffled groans filling the dimly lit room. They couldn’t scream, couldn’t beg—just incoherent muffled noises as they squirmed like trapped animals.

He slowly circled the two men, then stopped to place a hand on each of their shoulders, eyes filled with amusement at their looks of terror.

“We're going to play a game now... Rock, Paper, Scissors, Minus One. I trust you know the rules.” his gaze flickered from Jeong-rae to Woo-seok, a smile forming on his lips.

“You form a shape with each hand, then take one away. The game is decided by the remaining hands. Of course, there’s a penalty for the loser.” he picked up the nearby revolver and inspected it, then pressed the barrel to his temple. “Russian Roulette.”

Their muffled protests grew louder, their bodies twisting against the ropes in a futile attempt to escape. The two men were shaking, their breaths heavy as he leaned closer, his finger on the trigger.

Click.

Empty.

His smirk widened as he backed away slowly.

“Alright. Now, let’s play. On my count.”

But then, as he was getting ready to spin the cylinder of the revolver, his phone buzzed in his pocket.

His brows furrowed, the interruption pulling him out of the carefully constructed moment. He pulled the phone out, and the sight of your name on the screen made him pause.

He froze for a moment, staring at the screen as his heart softened. It wasn’t like you to call him in the middle of the day. You knew he was busy—always busy. The ‘work’ he pretended to do required him to keep odd hours, to vanish without explanation, and you never questioned it. You trusted him. And he loved you for that trust, even if he didn’t deserve it.

His thumb hovering over the answer button before taking a deep breath and sliding his mask of indifference back into place. But when he answered, his voice betrayed him. It was warm, gentle—a tone he reserved only for you.

“Hey,” he said, his voice soft, the edge it had carried a moment ago completely gone. He shot the two men a warning look, his eyes narrowing as if daring them to make a sound.

Turning away from them, his tone dropped into something almost tender. “What’s wrong, sweetheart?”

Your voice came through the line, quiet and tinged with vulnerability. “I… I didn’t mean to bother you. I just… I’m not feeling well.”

He could hear the catch in your throat, the faint rasp. “Are you sick?” he asked, straightening.

There was a pause on your end, then a soft sniffle that nearly broke his heart. “Yeah. Just a cold, I think. My head hurts, and I’m all stuffed up.”

He closed his eyes, letting out a slow, steadying breath as guilt twisted in his chest. You sounded miserable, and he hated that he wasn’t there to take care of you. Hated that he was here, in this cold room, when he should’ve been home with you.

“I’m sorry,” you murmured. “I know you’re busy. I just… I just wanted to hear your voice.”

“Don’t apologize,” he said quickly, his voice gentle but firm. “You can call me anytime, okay? I mean it. Anytime.”

There was a pause, and then he heard another sniffle on the other end. It made his chest clench. “Where are you?” you asked. “Are you coming home soon?”

He glanced down at Woo-seok and Jeong-rae, their wide, panicked eyes watching him like trapped prey. The revolver gleamed on the table beside him, a stark reminder of the life he led when he wasn’t with you.

For the first time all day, he felt a pang of guilt—not for them, but for you. For the life he kept hidden from you. You had no idea what he did, the darkness he waded through every day. And he wanted to keep it that way. You were his light, his one connection to something pure and good in a world full of shadows.

“Soon,” he promised, his voice softening even further. “I’ll be home soon."

You didn’t reply right away, but he could picture you nodding, your lips pressed into that small, tired smile you always gave him when you were sick. He could see you in his mind—wrapped in a blanket, your hair messy, your cheeks flushed from the fever.

“There’s soup in the fridge,” he added gently. “I made it this morning. Heat some up, okay? And the heating pad’s in the bottom drawer. You’ll feel better if you use it.”

“Okay,” you murmured, your voice tired.

“I love you,” he said, the word coming out more vulnerable than he intended.

“I love you too,” you replied, and he could hear the faint smile in your voice despite the cold.

His chest tightened at the sound of those words. He glanced away from the two men on the floor, his jaw clenching as he fought the sudden wave of emotion that threatened to rise. “Now go rest, my love. I’ll be home soon.” his voice was thick with sincerity.

When the call ended, the room was silent. He stared down at the phone in his hand, his mind still on you.

For a moment, he let himself imagine walking through the door of your shared apartment, dropping his keys on the counter, and finding you curled up on the couch. He’d press a kiss to your forehead, make sure you were warm, and hold you until you fell asleep. That was all he wanted.

But instead, he was stuck here.

He slipped the phone back into his pocket and turned his attention to Woo-seok and Jeong-rae. His expression hardened once more. “Well,” he said. “Where were we?”

He reached for the revolver, spinning the cylinder with a practiced flick of his wrist. The sound echoed through the room, sharp and final.

“Rock, paper, scissors,” he said, his tone almost mocking. “Loser gets to test their luck with this. Simple, right?”

He crouched down in front of them, his movements slow and deliberate, as if savoring their terror.

They shook their heads frantically, their breathing heavy, protests muffled by the gag. He sighed, standing up and running a hand through his hair. “You know,” he said, his voice almost casual. “I’d love to stay and play, but I’ve got someone waiting for me at home. So let’s not drag this out.”

Their muffled protests grew louder, but he didn’t care. This was his world. His game.

And when it was over, he’d go home to you. To the warmth of your love, the softness of your touch.

You didn’t know what he was. What he did. And he intended to keep it that way.

Because as long as you were safe, as long as you loved him, he could pretend—for just a little while—that he was someone worth loving.

[obae-me]

How He Kisses

Hey there, so things are...kinda awful right now, and while I don't want to fully distract myself from my other works I'm chipping away at, I did want to post something a bit short and sweet to hopefully- well, saying "to make everyone feel better" feels sort of self-inflated, but if I can make everyone stop and think about something happy for just one second, that's more than I can ask for. I have no idea how similar this is to my hug headcanon ones. Not really checked for too many errors, this was all kind of done in the spur of the moment, but I don't think that matters too much.

Lucifer

Proper and slow. He likes being patient, kissing you once before pulling back to look at your face. He feels a sense of Pride when he can see the effect he has on you, knowing that he can comfort you like this. He's a perfectionist, he likes the whole experience to be included. That's why he likes to do it more often when you two are alone, knowing he has the freedom to do whatever it takes to make this moment perfect. Whether it's music, a lit fireplace, over a dinner, under the comfort of a blanket, everything is set up for you. To show his love for you, nothing less than high quality will be accepted. The kiss is simply the bow that ties everything together. And he'll take his time to relish in this moment with you.

Mammon

Fervent and greedy. He cannot contain his love for you. Even around his brothers, he lets it slip. So when you find yourselves alone, it's like pulling the lid off a stuffed container. Your eyelids, your ears, your forehead, cheeks, chin, lips, none of them shall be spared in his spree. It's almost frantic, as if he doesn't get as many now, he'll never have them again. He craves all of you, and he wants to be only yours in equal measure. Love, soul, attention, all of it is for you. It's as if he has to make up the seconds lost whenever you're apart. He never wants it to end. He hardly breathes. Every one is just as good as the last, and he is focused on making it just as wonderful an experience for you as well. After all, he wants you to be greedy too. Tell him your every desire.

Levi

Eager and grateful. Push past the anxiousness and the self-doubt, and you find a Levi that adores you more than anything. Like an ultra rare drop he can't get anywhere else. If he can stand in line for days for something he wants, he will stand with you till the end of time. His kisses show that, how deeply in love he is for you. Given the chance, he has the confidence to prove to you how special you are to him. Every kiss gets him more excited than the last, and in turn, he's determined to do whatever it takes to make you feel just as joyous as he is in these moments. Thank you for being here with him, your presence means more to him than you currently know, and he'll spare no effort to start showing you that.

Satan

Meek and curious. Whether or not it is considered if he's kissed someone before, every time he kisses you, it feels like the first time. He almost always has a distant look on his face, as if he's thinking about a million other things at the same time, and every million of those thoughts is something about you. He learns something new every time and commits it to memory. Which way your head naturally tilts, where you prefer his hands to be, how many you like, how long they take, he's going to remember them all. Well, he says that, but oftentimes its as if his mind wipes after every kiss. It's hard to think during those moments. But he's not worried about it, that just means he'll have to keep going. He has no plans to leave your side anytime soon after all.

Asmo

Uplifting and addictive. He likes to kiss for every occasion, every emotion. Happy? Kiss. Excited? Kiss? Sad? He says he saves his best kisses for those moments especially. Maybe it's shared love that makes his kisses almost tingle, or maybe its some kind of magic. It makes you feel light. And he'll give you as many as you want. He adores kissing you, not able to get enough of it. It's as though he's almost on clockwork, having to give you an embrace at perfect intervals throughout the day. He can't get enough of you, and he can't help but get giddy at the thought of running to your side and letting you know exactly just how much he loves you.

Beel

Warm and encompassing. Gluttony often gets mixed up with Greed, but this is one of those instances where the differences are clear. Every kiss is slow, and feels as if it lasts several lifetimes. It's as if he's drinking you in, savoring this moment in it's entirety. Of course he'll come in for seconds, and thirds, and fourths, but it comes steadily. Something about his kisses fills you with a warmth that's hard to describe, similar to soup or a hot beverage seeping through every part of your body to endure the coldest of days. It makes your toes curl like they're in warm socks. It makes you feel as if nothing can get to you. And with him around, nothing will.

Belphie

Soft and persistent. No amount of drowsiness can stop him. Even if he's asleep, the demon that will normally sleep like the dead will wake himself up and make sure to give you a kiss. They're so gentle, and it's difficult to tell if its tied to his personality, or if he's afraid of hurting you. Sometimes they're as light as a feather, almost tickling you. If you're falling asleep, they'll never wake you, only guiding you towards sweeter dreams. With every movement you make, you'll almost recognize the sensation of his kisses. They're like a promise, an assurance, that even in the deepest darkest of dreams, he's right there. They always lull you into a sense of peace.

[natalicss]

Like We Were In Paris

kwon ji-yong x american pop star!reader

summary: you and ji-yong have been dating for a couple years, keeping it under the radar the entire time. you’re both invited to the gala de pièces juanes 2025, and it’s the first time you get to see him perform live

warnings: celeb!reader, implied age gap (reader is like…mid twenties?), whole lot of fluff, basically ji-yong being a simp, taeyang & rosé being captains of the ship, use of y/n, i don’t use tumblr so bare with me while i figure this out. i tried to keep descriptions of the readers outfit vague so you could imagine it to your liking!

word count: 4.1K

nat’s notes: hey y’all! i was convinced into writing a g-dragon fic (by like 3 people). i’m kinda obsessed with this. i had so many ideas while writing it & so im kind of tempted to write more of these two, but i don’t know!! this is my first like… irl person x reader (ive only written one other fic on here lmao) & i am new to g-dragon, bigbang, all that so i kept it pretty current. to me these two are very dancing with our hands tied by taylor swift coded (or just reputation coded), i cant explain why it just makes sense. the divider right below is from enchanthings here on tumblr, and the other one later on….idk its for my wattpad LMAO. anyways i hope you enjoy, and im sorry in advance if you hate it. toodles!

You still remember the first time you met Ji-yong.

You were in need of some inspiration. Working on your fourth album, the intense gaze of your record label, your management, your fans, and your musically gifted peers was crushing you. It seemed to do more harm than good. For weeks, you stared at notebooks and computers and instruments. Your manager tried to get you with various song writers. Nothing worked. So, after some persuasion from your best friend (who knew you better than anyone, having been your best friend since you were kids), you decided to do a vacation. Just you and some required security (per compromise with your team). You decided to go to Seoul, having loved it in the few times you’ve passed through on a tour. The fans there were great; always warm and welcoming and always one of your loudest shows. The culture was breathtaking. It felt like the perfect opportunity.

Your team had found a studio for you to work in. You were only there for a few weeks, but they wanted some hope that you’d come back to America with something. It was week two when you met him. You were walking towards your studio, he was walking out of his. The two of you made eye contact, and you were instantly swarmed with warmth. You didn’t believe in love at first sight (neither did he, to be fair), but you started to question it as you walked past him.

From then on, each of you seemed nosy about the other. He asked his friends who the girl was in the other studio. “Oh! The American! That’s Y/N,” He recognized your name, and now your face. He hadn’t seen you outside of a red carpet or a concert venue photo, so he didn’t recognize you with little-to-no makeup and comfortable clothes. But once it clicked, it clicked. You had asked someone working at the studio about him. They mentioned his name, Kwon Ji-Yong, and you googled him that night in your rental house.

You knew about G-Dragon, the impact he had on K-Pop and the music industry. You had heard a song here and there, but you had never seen him. Not til that day in the studio.

It was a few days until you saw him again. Your schedules just missing each other. Then, one day, your producer was running freakishly late to your meeting time, and Ji-yong was walking out of his own studio. You stood there, more like paced there, tapping wildly on your phone trying to get in contact with your producer, whispering to yourself in frustration.

Ji-yong had the courage to speak up, say hello, and the rest is history. Stories for another time, maybe. 

Your friendship eventually blossomed into a relationship, defying all cliches of long distance and the terrors that often comes with it. It helped that he was on hiatus and you had became a professional of staying out of the public eye. You both wanted to keep what you had to yourself. Your teams did, too, but they got less strict as two months eventually became two years. It was on your terms now, when you'd let everyone know about your status, but neither of you had felt ready to let the world in on something so…yours. So peaceful, so effortless, so pure. It was easy, the two of you traveling between South Korea and America to spend time together, or going on vacations together, or just taking quiet retreats into each others homes. 

Nobody ever thought of it, either. There was no reason to. Unless they’d been in the studio that day, the media had no way to expect any crossover of America’s Princess and the King of K-Pop. The media would rather gossip about you in relationships with the usual Hollywood celebrities, some of whom were just friends, some you’d never met. Neither of you mind rumors, it kept the media out of your relationship and sometimes they were hilariously ridiculous. So, you let the press talk their talk. You and Ji-yong kept to yourselves, careful on your information you’d share with friends (it was easy for things to be leaked, these days).

When Ji-yong told you he was officially making his comeback to the industry, you were ecstatic for him. You knew how much he loved making music and performing. You also knew, though he’d never admit it, sometimes when he’d sneak to join you on tour, he got a bit jealous watching you sing and dance on stage. He’d watched you collab with numerous artists, tasting just about every genre you could before eventually finding your new sound. It made him sad, some nights, missing that glow you often had instead. But most nights? Most nights he was beaming from behind the stage, watching you do what you loved most. Most people sink in this world, but you? You swam, no, you effortlessly floated in the sea of fame. And it was obvious to anyone around you. Part of what he loved most about you was your creative drive, something he shared. It inspired him, more than you’d ever know. 

Ji-yong's comeback had been more than successful, as expected. Throughout your relationship, the two of you had fumbled with varying songs and styles for each other. Oftentimes more playful than not. You guys fueled each other in the best ways. You released your newest album in 2024, and you were about to start your world tour in the early months of 2025. Ji-yong would follow suit, his first solo album in years coming out soon and then starting his own tour. 

Both of you were wracked with nerves, spending days in rehearsals, wardrobe tests, photo shoots, traveling all over for various projects. It had been weeks since you’d seen each other. After the holidays you were swimming in press for your new tour. He had been equally busy, filming his show, performing at various shows. You both loved it. You loved your jobs and you loved each others jobs. But even you two would struggle on the days where it’d been long, exhausting, and mentally draining; wanting nothing more than each other’s warmth.

The Gala des Pièces Jaunes, a show that helps collect donations for charity in Paris, had invited both of you to perform, along with other various stars. Little did they know, they had invited the world's most popular secret couple. You had been ecstatic. Not only did you love the message the event had, but you loved the idea of sharing the stage with so many extremely talented artists. Including, your boyfriend. 

The night before the show, you had inconspicuously snuck your way towards Ji-yong’s room. You had wanted to get a hotel room together, but knew that you had to be careful with the amount of eyes on both of you this weekend. Still, that didn’t stop you from wondering around until you ended up at his door. With your special knock– each knock a syllable in your names –you waited patiently for him to open up the door to you. His eyes were sparkly, even in the shitty lighting. They always seemed to do that with you. 

“Finally,” He breathed, pulling you into the room quickly. You giggled as he used your body to shut the door, his arms around you tightly. You had seen each other, earlier in the day during rehearsals. Pretending like it was your first time meeting him and Taeyang was hell. Pretending you didn’t know their names, pretending Ji-yong didn’t pick out your outfit on FaceTime, and pretending you didn’t want to latch on to him and never let go. 

The only people who knew about you two were Young-bae, of course. He and Daesung had known about you for a while now, teasing their friend and bandmate for not telling them right away. The other person was Rosé, who’d been your friend for years and one of your closest friends in the celebrity world, both of you having blown up in popularity around the same time. Both of them seemed equally amused, watching you and Ji-yong try to act nonchalant around the other. Young-bae chuckling as Ji-yong watched your rehearsals in a stunned silence. He knew every song of yours by heart (even the ones from before he met you), and even when trying to act like he didn’t he could feel himself mouthing the words as he watched you and your dancers on the stage. Rosé would wink at you when she’d walk past you, and everytime you almost missed it cause you were too busy watching Ji-yong talking with his team.

But now, the two of you didn’t have to act. You couldn’t stop laughing in awe, Ji-yong smothering your face in feather-light kisses. You held on to him, your face turning pink as he continued his full-blown kiss attack. “I missed you, jagiya, so much.” He muttered against your skin. Finally, he pulled back to look over your face, pressing another kiss to your lips. You melted into his arms, your mind momentarily fuzzy. There was nothing else but him. His hands on your waist, his shirt clutched in your hands, his scent that had became your favorite. Him. Him. Him. It was always him. 

“I missed you more,” You whispered, running your fingers through his minty-colored hair. He closed his eyes softly, as if soaking in your touch. Your heart swelled, as it always seemed to do with him. You had never felt this way, not in any of your previous relationships. You had been positive for a while now, Ji-yong was it for you. “Are you excited?” You asked him, tilting your head in curiosity.

He slowly opened his eyes, meeting your soft expression. He loved how you looked at him. It was something you couldn’t hide, not even at rehearsals. He sighed, pulling you by your hand further into the hotel room. “Yes. Nervous, too.” He added. You nod in understanding, he had only performed a few times since the comeback. He loved it after, always, but the nerves had been hard to shake off, even still.

“I’m excited to see you,” You beam, still keeping your fingers interlocked. You hadn’t seen him live, not yet. You had been back in America finishing up your album and starting a press tour at the time, but you always called him right before he went on to give him a final good luck, and you always snuck onto a live stream to watch. 

He rolled his eyes shyly, leaning his head into your neck. “Young-bae is going to make so much fun of me.”

“Why?”

“Cause I’m more nervous for you to see my performance than I was at MAMA.” 

You laughed at that, bringing his face into your hands and looking at him. “You’re going to be amazing. More than amazing. You’re going to be perfect.” You reassure him, leaning in to kiss his lips softly. “And I am not afraid to bully Young-bae,” He laughed at this, throwing his head back slightly. He knew it was true, your friendship with Taeyang almost too sibling-like, to the point you two teased each other about everything. 

“Are you nervous at all?” He asks you, looking over your expression, as if he’s trying to find your answer in your gaze. He did this a lot, knowing you for so long he began to pick up on things, even before you did.

“I am, but only a little,” You decide finally. It was a short set, only a few songs to perform. You had picked your most popular hits and your newest single for the setlist. And your outfit was your favorite part, matching your dancers whilst still making sure you stood out and felt confident. “Oh! I have to tell you about this thing I saw.” You pulled out of his arms, suddenly distracted by something you wanted to tell him about when you were in your room. 

Ji-yong watched you quietly. His eyes filled with a lightness and admiration. He listened to you talk as you grabbed a water, waving your arms wildly to dramatize the story. He smiled, leaning against the couch in his room as he thought about how much he loved you. He loved everything about you. From the way you talked about your passions to the way you scrunched your face when you ate something you didn’t like. He loved the way you danced in the car when your favorite song came on. He loved the way you loved the people around you. He loved the way you waltzed into his heart like it was your home, and wrapped your arms around him like you were his home. You are his home, he’s sure of that. Even now, as you ramble into near nonsense about something he has no understanding of. He still watched you like you had been the most beautiful work of art he’d discovered. He was certain that was true.

Le Gala des Pièces was in full swing. Everything was going well, perfect, all of it. And you were backstage, getting your makeup touched up as you saw someone walk past your open door. You recognized him instantly, you always did. And part of you couldn’t let him go on stage without a final goodbye.  “I’ll be right back!” You pushed yourself out of your chair, rushing after him. You could see him walking through the hall, too busy with his own thoughts to notice you coming to grab his wrist.

Ji-yong felt your touch, his head moving so fast he swore he heard a crack. His eyes met yours instantly, then looked you over in surprise. He hadn’t seen your outfit yet. It complimented his, something he wasn’t sure if you had done on purpose or not. A black and red outfit, the red the exact same shade as his tie. As he looked you over, you could see the different emotions flicker on his face. Admiration, lust, maybe hunger, and love. He looked up at your face again, smiling, “Hi, Y/N,” His name feels unfamiliar on his tongue, now. Over the years, nicknames had become your normal. Another thing to add to the list of things you hated about pretending you didn’t know him.

Your mouth hung open for a moment as you looked at him. You hadn’t been sure if you’d see him before he went on, so you hadn’t exactly planned your choice of words. “I wanted to wish you luck,” You stuttered out, suddenly aware of how many eyes could be on the two of you.

Ji-yong’s eyes were laced with amusement, seeing your cheeks turned pink. “I have to grab something to drink, come with me?” He asked, playing it as cool and casual as humanly possible. You itched to reach for his hand, but kept to yourself as you followed him. 

As soon as you were in a dark corner, away from prying eyes, he was on you. The two of you pressed your lips together like perfect puzzle pieces. Your hands roamed his chest as his roamed your waist. You hummed happily, wishing this moment with him would never end. Adrenaline, nerves, excitement all were running high. From the show, from being around each other, from sneaking around. You felt his hands squeeze your hips, the two of you forcing yourselves to pull away. You smiled up at him, almost dizzy from him simply being in front of you. “Good luck,” You beamed.

“Is that how you wish everybody good luck?” He asks playfully. You rolled your eyes, smacking his chest as you adjusted yourselves. “I’ll see you as soon as I’m done,” He leans to kiss you again, “I love you,”

“I love you more,” You winked as he sauntered off towards where his team was waiting for him. You stayed back a moment, blushing wildly and hopping in place happily before rushing back to your own people.

You watched from backstage, wrapping yourself in a black robe to hide yourself as much as you could from the crew around you. You had passed Taeyang, who gave you a subtle handshake as he passed by for his cue. You watched in awe, seeing Ji-yong, no, G-Dragon on that stage. Seeing him do it all in person…it was ethereal. The way he moved through the stage and carried himself with this aura. He was almost mesmerizing, distracting you from the chaos backstage and your own nerves. It didn’t shock you, you’d known forever how talented he was. You’d seen videos of him from before you met, you’d seen him work for hours upon hours in studios, and you’d seen him on set for his music videos. But this was different. This was really him. This was what he was born to do, if destiny and fate were real. This was exactly that.

“Hey, pretty,” You turned your head to Rosé, Rosie, who only smiled knowingly. She linked her arm with yours, leaning into you. “You happy?”

“Happiest,” You answered, “He’s so good.”

“He is.” Rosie agreed. She giggled at your face. The two of you had met years ago, you had blown up in the music scene shortly after Blackpink. The two of you crossed paths at an event, not knowing anyone else there, and you two stuck by each others sides much like you were now. You two had been closest friends. When you told her about your first date with Ji-yong, she was ecstatic. She knew Ji-yong, and she knew that he’d be good to you. She wanted you to be happy, and that's what you were. Always when it came to Ji-yong, you were the happiest person she'd seen.

You watched the rest of his set. You smiled giddily as he and Taeyang performed together. You bit your thumb nail as you watched him move around the stage in the second outfit with the sparkling black jacket. Rosie nudging you every time she noticed you blush. 

When he was off the stage, he had found you waiting for him amidst the crowd of people. He smiled happily, reaching you without much thought about anyone else. His arms swooped you in, hugging you tightly. You laughed, hugging him back. “That was amazing!” You beamed. For a moment, the two of you forgot where you were. Forgetting the curious eyes who thought you barely knew each other. When your senses kicked in, he was quick to put you back at a friendly distance. Your gaze moved to Taeyang, “You guys are phenomenal!” You hugged Young-bae too, hoping that if you acted friendly with everyone it wouldn’t cause more suspicion. “Thank you,” Ji-yong muttered, suddenly shy again. He bowed quickly at you, trying to play it off. In moments, you were hearing your name called, and his own team was surrounding him. You smiled warmly, disappearing in the crowd of crew and stars. 

Ji-yong wanted to keep close to you. He wanted to wrap you up in his arms until the very moment you were on stage, but that was impossible. You were back in your greenroom, getting makeup and hair touched up, and then you were taking photos with crew members and doing more vocal warm ups. You were being whisked around every which way. He and Young-bae were staying close together, feeling the most comfortable with each other as they simply watched the show continue.

Young-bae was smiling to himself. He had been so happy for Ji-yong when he introduced you to him and Daesung. It was blatantly obvious to see how happy you made him. You made Ji-yong smile at every moment, you'd giggle at his jokes (even if Young-bae didn't think they were that funny), you would help him if you noticed his hesitation. You encouraged him. You built him up. You even started secretly learning Korean, calling Young-bae for help every now and again. The next time you visited Ji-yong, you had managed to say your first sentence in Korean, and it was actually good. You were this ray of sunshine. Anyone who knew the two of you knew that. He was honored to be in on your guys’s little secret. Otherwise, he’d feel cheated out of watching two people he cared about falling in love. 

Unfortunately, Ji-yong didn’t get a chance to see you before you were whisked away under the stage to make your entrance. Still, he watched quietly from backstage. He clasped his hands together, watching the crowd scream with anticipation as your intro started. Fog began to cover the stage, the lights flashing every which way with the music. Your dancers surrounded the area you’d rise from. Once you did, you immediately went into the first song, dancing on every note. The crowd was wild. Ji-yong smiled proudly. On stage you were someone else entirely. You were confident, you moved with ease and exact precision. Your body moved with your dancers, most you’ve known for years. Their hands grazing your hips as you all moved together in sync. Ji-yong never got jealous, knowing how these things worked. He was no stranger to any of it. 

He’d seen you perform, maybe a hundred times now, and yet it never got old. As the song transitioned to another popular track, the crowd somehow getting even louder, he thought about how you might’ve looked earlier. Standing in the same spot, only a short time ago. He could only assume you looked much like he did now. Body swaying to the familiar music, mouthing the words, eyes sparkling at him like he had hung the moon and the stars only for you. He wasn’t sure what he did to get so lucky.

He clapped as the crowd did. You were at the far end of the stage now, dancing with another male dancer to the third song. The song had been written for him, though not many people knew that other than you and him. A romantically charged song. It was one of his favorites. He remembered the day you showed it to him, all shy and quiet, which was unusual for you. You had told him you had a song to show him, wanting to release it as a single in the future. When you played it, you only stared at his face while he stared at the computer screen. He considered marrying you right there. 

As you performed your fourth and final song, he found his way to where you’d end up off stage. He played with his sleeves, smiling shyly as people greeted him as they passed by. He wanted to see you. No, he needed to see you. 

And he did. You came off the stage, glistening from glitter and sweat. You hugged your dancers and thanked them, high-fiving other members of your crew. As your eyes met his, he could see them light up. But you stayed put, not wanting to make another scene. He winked at you, moving in the direction of your greenroom.

It took you a couple minutes to get your micpack off and head towards your dressing room to change. Once you did, you smiled wide at the man waiting inside. “We did it!” You beamed as you jumped at him. He caught you easily, swinging you loosely in his arms as you pressed your lips against his. It wasn’t rushed or adrenaline-filled like before. This was softer, still full of energy, but only relief, love, and pure joy. “We fucking nailed it, baby,” You said as you looked up at him. He swore he might die from the way you love him.

“You were beautiful,” He hummed, leaning into your hair. He hummed, squeezing you tighter. “I love you. So fucking much.”

You closed your eyes, taking in the moment as best as you could. There was no place on this planet you loved more than being in his embrace. You could be anywhere, at any time, anything could be happening, and all you’d want is him. That’s all you’d ever need, The lazy mornings in your LA home where you’d surprise him with breakfast in bed. The romantic nights in Seoul where he’d take you out to dinner at your favorite place. The bustling mornings when one of you had a meeting to get to. One of you having a mouth full of toast trying to run out the door, only to scramble back to give the other a kiss. Late nights in studios, falling asleep in random spots as you tried to come up with new lyrics and beats. Your favorites were the quiet nights, the two of you tangled in bed sheets as he stared at each other, talking about whatever came to mind as one of you played with the others hair, or traced shapes on bare skin. Gentle kisses passed back and forth. Life was perfect, and he was perfect. 

“I love you, Ji,” You whispered, kissing him again. He hummed into it, smiling. You looked him over appreciatively, fiddling with his outfit. “I need to change, wanna pick my outfit out for me?” You asked, raising a brow. His eyes flicked with mischief as he looked back at the rack of clothes you had. He looked back at you, pulling you back into him again.

[kaneaken]

content notes; Natlan AQ spoilers, spoilers for Capitano's real name & backstory, grief, anger (reader), depictions of a nightmare, angst, gn!reader, can be seen as a continuation of my previous capitano drabble

author's note: Please, if you're going to read this, make sure you checked all the content notes! This one is pretty heavy, so please read with caution. I did my best to take from my own experiences as well as some research to make this accurate. I'd hate to write something that was insensitive to people who have gone through these experiences as well. Of course, grief is different for everyone, so I will most likely not be accurate to everyone's experience, but I did my best!

You hate the quiet. Despite its emptiness, you feel closed in. For a nation known for its heat, you feel undeniably cold as you sit, looking out at the blazing sun.

It mocks you. Its bright rays remind you of the life prior to all of this. Your beautiful home. Your love. Everything.

There's a knock. You don't flinch. It was common for the soldiers to check up on you constantly, especially after what happened. However, the soft tone that calls out to you is unexpected.

"Sorry to disturb you. Oh, it's Ororon, by the way. Do you remember me? I brought you some carrots last week. Were they good? They were from my garden, so I can guarantee that they were fresh."

You remembered him. The child from the Masters of the Night Wind. You grew to have quite the connection when he agreed to help the Fatui. The soldiers had told you about him coming by to drop off vegetables. He hadn't stayed long, especially since the soldiers had told him you weren't taking visitors.

You sigh. You wonder what he would say in a moment like this. You should get up. Get up. Get up. Get up already.

You get to your feet, dragging yourself to the door. You must look like a mess as you crack the door open. Ororon's facial expression shifts. Pity. It's always pity when it comes to you. Pity. Pity.

You force a pleasant expression, but you know it looks strange. Your eyes are puffy and red, which help distract from the lack of light in them. Your skin has lost its color. You look pathetic. Extremely so.

"I just wanted to check in again. They actually let me through today, so are you feeling a bit better? I brought some spinach. Granny says they're good for you. Oh, and she asked me to bring you one of her wind chimes for your nightmares."

He hands you a basket with said items. You stare. Your heart felt... warm for a second, but then, the thought that had been haunting you comes back. Were you allowed to accept this? Were you allowed to be happy again? No, not without him. It wasn't fair.

"Oh, one more thing. If you're up to it, the Archon is holding a ceremony tomorrow. It's to unveil the monument to the fallen heroes."

Heroes. Was he a hero? Perhaps to the Natlanese he was. To you, he was a fool. Tied to duty all his life. He left you because his duty to his people came before you.

"I could come by, and we could go together if that would help you feel comfortable. I'm sure Granny won't mind passing by. She hasn't seen you in a while."

Could you stand to see such a thing? A monument to fallen heroes. Could you stand to stare at their immortalization of his honor? Did you owe it to him to try to attend even if the idea causes your heart to twist?

Ultimately, you nod despite the jumbling thoughts in your mind. You needed to make the first step forward, but did you deserve to take that step without him?

It begins happy. You are staring at the cloudy sky with him by your side. You are smiling, and so is he. It almost seems unreal. You've dreamt of this before. It's a memory of when he proposed to you. It was a day you hadn't expected. He always found a way to surprise you, whether it be through gestures or gifts. That day had been no exception.

"You're stiff. Is something the matter?"

"Ah, I suppose I am nervous."

"Nervous? About what?"

"The future. Our future."

He turns to you. You see his smile soften before his face becomes a blur. Again. Just like every night since he left.

When would be the next time you'd see his face? The one hidden behind the mask? Did you even remember what he looked like? Is that why this kept happening? Were you forgetting?

"Did I frighten you?" You let out a breath you hadn't known you were holding as you stared at him. His robes changed. His face became obscured.

"It's me, my love. Do not cry. I am right here."

Liar. Liar. Liar.

There are tears in your eyes again. However, unlike your first nightmare, they don't startle you. You simply wipe your cheeks and sit up. You were sure you wouldn't get any more sleep, so you got ready for the day.

For the past week, you had been in bed, refusing to come out of the room. The soldiers didn't mind you. They brought you food and water and reminded you of your return trip home. You couldn't stand being in Natlan any longer. Not when they threw you glances of pity.

The first knock at your door is a soldier delivering your breakfast. They seemed startled to see you out of bed, almost dropping the tray in their hands.

"It's nice to see you again." Is all they say before they exit.

The second knock at your door is the duo of Ororon and Citlali. They also seemed startled with a hint of relief amongst it. Although, you notice the crease between Citlali's eyebrows as she stares at you. Regardless, she greets you with a smile.

"Thank you for agreeing to come along. I'm sure it isn't easy for you at the moment. If you need anything, we'd be happy to assist in any way," She reminds you to which you nod.

"Granny's right. We're happy to help," Ororon adds.

"Let's get going. I'm sure the ceremony will be starting soon."

You can feel their stares. No matter how much you look away, you feel their stares. Their pity. Stop. Stop it. Don't look. Please.

You are grateful for Ororon's tall stature. Once he notices your discomfort, he does his best to keep your figure hidden. Despite this, you continue to stare at the ground.

You don't lift your gaze as you hear Mauvika take her place in front of the monument. You didn't want to look at her. You didn't want to look at him. You didn't want to look. You were fearful of it coming down on you again. The fear. The dread. The knowledge that he was gone.

"I would also like to take the time to recognize a Fatui Harbinger who sacrificed his life for our cause."

You can't stand it. You feel your heart clench, and your eyes squeeze shut.

"You don't owe them anything! What have they done for you? They treat us as threats!"

"... he defeated his fated foe and protected me in the process."

"My duty is to my people as well as those who fight alongside me."

"But, on this occasion, we honor him as one of our own. In Natlan, all heroes are worthy are celebration."

"What about your duty to me?"

You feel a hand on your shoulder, causing you to look up for the first time since you arrived. Mauvika stands before you, her hand planted on your shoulder.

"I know there are no words that will erase your pain."

"I want to be the one to hold you and love you through it all."

"But I want you to know--"

"Will you marry me?"

"He was a hero."

Hero. Hero. He was a hero to them. What was he to you? A duty bound fool.

"The Captain saved us, all of us. He will always be remembered--"

A fool, but he was your love. He still is. He always will be. Thrain. Thrain, why did you leave me?

"Thrain," you mutter. Your voice cracks. You look into Mauvika's eyes. Her confident stare is a contrast to your shaky gaze. "His name is Thrain."

Thrain. Your strength gives out. You feel your legs buckle under you, and you fall to the ground in tears. You look pathetic. You're sure of it, but you couldn't take it anymore.

Not them pitying you. Not them treating him as a hero. Not them acknowledging his strength, not his life. Not them honoring his title, not his name.

"His name is Thrain," you repeat between tears, clutching your hands to your chest. Your ring reflects the bright sun, reminding you of his smile.

"Don't cry, my love. I only wish to make you happy. Will you grant me my wish?"

"I will."

"Even if death rips me from your arms, I shall stay by your side. You will never be alone again."

Liar.

[ranunculussy]

enigma | part 04.

saturday

ꕥ part 01. | part 02. | part 03. ꕥ pair: Spencer Reid × BAU!fem!reader ꕥ warnings/tags: canon-typical violence, mentions of human trafficking, gunshot, blood, swearing, somewhat oblivious Reid and reader, age gap, moderately jealous Spencer, slow-burn, mutual pining, rivals to lovers, english isn't my first language so bear with me pls, idk about other warnings ꕥ word count: ~3.3k ꕥ summary: Spencer can't quite figure you, his rival out and this annoys him more than it should [this fanfic is also available on AO3with the same title and username]

One of your best and worst traits was your competitiveness. You were able to turn anything into a race in your head. You loved the feeling of adrenaline rushing through your veins, making your blood pump and your attention sharpened. You always performed better like this, whether it was an important or a trivial matter. So, when you felt Reid was inviting you to tango by how he’s acted since Wednesday, you weren’t one to shy away from the challenge. You were sure that everything he did was to make you look less professional. You simply thought he was this childish, even in his late 30s.

There was a subtle but undoubtable shift in your relationship with the genius. Like, when spring was around the corner around mid-to-late February. You couldn’t exactly see the changes, but there was something different in the air. The feeling and even the taste of the wind got a bit gentler and more welcoming. Of course, around this time of the year, rain also became more frequent. Just the same as the weather around a new season, you two also became more unpredictable by the day.

Now, as the beginning of the auction got closer and closer, you’ve also grown more and more anxious. The pastel high heels made soft thuds as you paced back and forth in the bougie guest room of the lakeside villa that the FBI provided for the mission. This time, you were wearing a flowy, blush-pink dress with beautiful gold jewellery. The carefully created thin pieces were the fruits of exemplary craftsmanship and were closer to art than to simple products, in your opinion. It was a tactical choice, to dress yourself like this. This way you’d seem less threatening to the men by giving a false sense of naivety and harmlessness.

“My sweet-sweet sugar bomb, since your ears are like a fancy Swiss cheese, I was able to get some piercings with mics in them. It’s not much but at least this way I could stay in contact with you,” rushed into the room—which up until this point was only occupied by Hotchner and some AT unit members—and straight to you Garcia. “It’ll match your aesthetic, don’t worry.”

Penelope wasn’t lying but still. Your ears didn’t look exactly like Swiss cheese. Yes, you had a few piercings, but nothing over the top. However, people liked to tease you when you showed up with a new hole in your said body parts.

“Damn, how?”

“Oh, I just pulled some strings, nothing serious,” waved her hands and let out her signature giggles the tech wizard after she handed over the fake pieces of jewellery to you.

“From whom can I expect a complaint soon?” sighed your boss, who was sitting in an armchair, pinching his nose bridge. Similarly to you, he was already in a full formal set, looking handsome as ever, ready to head out. You were waiting for the rest of the team who’ll infiltrate the mansion of Jonathan Grace with you as servers.

“Nobody, sir. Pinky promise.” she grinned a bit too brightly as she held up her finger to further reassure the stressed man, but her attention quickly shifted towards the opening door of the room. The two other BAU members who will be undercover with you walked in, looking beyond annoyed. “Why hello, my beautiful behavioural analysts!”

“Help me out with this, dollface.” Morgan basically whined as he held up the black piece of clothing that needed to be tied into a bow and apparently, he was unable to do it by himself. A bit behind him stood Reid with the same defeated look on his face. Ah, this is wonderful.

Both of them looked great. Beyond great, even. They were wearing pristine white button-ups, black vests and black suits. The only missing accessory was the bowtie, and none of them were able to figure out the technique of it.

A small plan formed in your brain and without a second thought, you walked up to the genius. Your steps were deliberate, making your walk look elegant and eye-catching. Even though you were slightly panicking on the inside, you were way too proud to show it and let him win the contest of who can make the other more flustered, which probably only existed in your head. You stopped right in front of him and took the piece of clothing from his hand before he could say anything. “Let me help you with this.”

Reid wanted to say that there was no need, but he couldn’t. Not when you looked like someone out of a fairytale, with your pretty dress and carefully styled hair flowing around you so effortlessly. The makeup was a perfect touch, the cherry on top, the point to the letter ‘i’. Before he noticed, your tender hands were already around his neck, working efficiently. He tilted his head and found your eyes with his. You tried to ignore the blushing that kept creeping up on your neck and not break eye contact, but you weren’t exactly practised in this, so after a few seconds that felt never-ending, you lowered your gaze to his chest. Damn it, now I just look stupid. Get your head in the game, Y/N. Just take deep breaths and don’t think… about literally anything. Realistically speaking, only seconds have passed, I’m sure I wasn’t that awkward.

You were still halfway in your thoughts, reasoning with yourself when you finished with the bowtie and were about to pull your hands away, but he quickly caught your wrists and firmly held it in place.

“Hmm?” was the only reaction that you were able to muster out of yourself. You looked at the man in front of you with wide eyes as your brain short-circuited. Oh, how you’ll hate yourself for this in the future.

“Thank you,” he said in a low, slightly hoarse tone. From this close, you were able to smell his perfume which was a perfect match for him. It didn’t smell too strong or rich. It was more deep and refined.

“Ah, uhm. It was nothing, really. Everybody has their shortcomings, doctor. Maybe this is one of yours?” you asked with a playfully arched eyebrow as a sly glimmer flickered in your irises, not missing Reid’s attention.

“Let’s just say that my fingers are skilled in a different way,” he replied almost immediately, shattering that tiny amount of false confidence you were able to gather. You couldn’t believe your ears. Yes, you knew that the man wasn’t that innocent, lost boy that the others often reminisced about. You didn’t know Reid when he began his career at the BAU, but you heard he was different back then. Shy and even naïve when it came to topics like this. He obviously changed a lot. This job changed him. You knew that it cost him everything, like it did for most of the team. Also, he simply grew up, which was an unavoidable side effect of life. Still, this kind of suggestive talk was more like Derek’s style, not Spencer’s. You had no idea how to react cleverly.

Luckily, Penelope unintentionally saved you from having to come up with anything at all. “Look at that, boy wonder has finally learned something from you!” she teased the tall man while she pushed Morgan’s shoulder with her own. You took advantage of the distraction and pulled your wrists out of his massive hands, then took a few steps back.

×××

This case seemed so doomed by the narrative from the very beginning that you genuinely had no idea at which point things went diabolically sideways. But they did, and now you were bleeding out as if you had nothing better to do, as if you had so much free blood in your body.

At first, everything went smoothly. You and Hotch were able to play the perfect couple with awfully conservative values and noticeable dominant-submissive dynamics. Those assholes were eating it up and the only thing holding you back from frowning was the knowledge that they’ll all be behind bars very soon. Or you hoped.

Occasionally, you caught glimpses of the two other men serving drinks and honestly unappetising finger food that looked borderline inedible to the attendees while taking mental notes about their faces for later. Aaron’s left arm was constantly around your waist, keeping you close to him at all times. Both of you were sure as hell that the rest of the team will be up in your asses about this for months at least.

As the event lazily stretched into the sultry night, a strong sense of discomfort and worry sneaked upon your shoulders, making your stomach twist. Something felt off. You couldn’t quite explain it, but you were sure that there was something definitely wrong.

Jonathan Grace has never left the crowd, not even for a few minutes, which didn’t seem logical. Managing this many victims from different locations was extremely risky and required a high level of organisation. His attention was a crucial factor for the traffickers to be able to pull this off without complications, still, Grace seemed almost nonchalant.

You carefully looked around, searching for any prying eyes, but only found the occasional gaze of your unit members. This was good. You managed to avoid suspicion so far.

When you made sure you weren’t being watched, you wrapped your arms around your boss’s neck and leaned to his face, as if you were hinting a small peck on his slightly stubbled skin.

“We’re missing something,” you murmured into his ear.

“I know, Grace is too calm.”

“When the auction starts, go alone. Say that you’re testing my trust in you. I’ll look around.”

“Fine, but be careful, Agent.”

After this, you did exactly what you agreed on. When Jonathan announced that the auction was about to start and opened the way to a secluded hall, you stayed behind, like many other women and all the staff members. You tried not to worry about your boss, who just entered a den of snakes all by himself and instead, you slipped away from the small crowd.

“Garcia, can you pull up the layout of this place? Or some kind of surveillance footage? I’m looking for a private study,” you whispered, hoping that the incredible tech goddess would hear you.

“In a second, my gorgeous, sweet macaron!”

You already started snooping around while you were waiting for the directions. You felt like staying in motion would help in not getting caught. Echoes of footsteps broke the silence of the dimly lit corridor where you currently were, making your pulse quicken and your breath hitch. You turned around and were ready to come up with some bullshit excuse when you noticed those all too familiar hazel curls.

“God, you almost gave me a heart attack,” you mumbled but couldn’t help a smile spreading across your face as Derek and Spencer reached you.

Instead of reacting to your sentence, Reid said “We’ve missed something.”. His tone seemed normal, as if he was stating a simple, harmless fact but his expression gave away the anxiety he felt.

“Yeah, Hotch and I thought so too,” you nodded. A few seconds later you’ve got some possible rooms from Penelope, who was only able to find a ground-plan, and decided to split into three, all of you covering a place.

“Here,” before you all went in different directions, Derek grabbed your forearm and handed you a gun.

“Damn, I’m impressed. How did you manage to get this in?”

“Found a window that was left open while I was clocking in,” he shrugged and revealed another weapon, hidden at his ankle, which he gave to Reid. “Imma be honest, it’s a miracle that I didn’t get busted. These guys are throughout.”

“Regardless, I could kiss you right now,” you joked as a wave of relief washed over you. You were nowhere near wrapping up this case, but you felt much safer.

“What’s stopping you, pretty girl?”

“I’m married,” you sighed as you held up your hand, showing the fake wedding ring hugging your finger.

Derek laughed and ruffled your hair. “Be careful.”

“You too,” you nodded, then looked at the silent doctor, “And you too, Reid.”

He nodded, but nothing left his lips. His eyes did the talking instead, which were more expressive than anything he could’ve said. He was worried and filled with anxiety. He was never a fan of splitting up on the field when the area was unknown and they had no way of communicating, but now they had to be quick, so this was the only logical option.

Well, it’s safe to say that you weren’t careful. You reached the room that Garcia was guiding you to and slowly pushed down the handle, but the door didn’t budge. So, you did what any skilled agent would’ve done in this situation, which is taking out a hairpin from your decorated hair and fucking around with the lock until something would work out. After you heard a quiet clicking noise, you eagerly opened the door and stepped into the poorly lit study room, only to hear a loud noise and feel a sharp pain in your right side, above your hip. Your reaction was instinctive, aiming the gun in the direction of your attacker and shooting before a second thought.

You only stumbled after a loud thud let you know that whoever was in there, wasn’t alive anymore. You took a deep, shaky breath and lowered your gaze towards your waist, which was now covered with warm, crimson blood, ruining the dress that was probably more expensive than your monthly mortgage.

“Oh, the Bureau will hate me for this,” a painful groan left your lips as you tried to ignore Garcia freaking out at the other end of the line and instead walked towards the massive desk in the middle of the room. You were extremely lucky that the bullet missed every vital organ, but still, you were heavily bleeding. You knew you only had a few minutes before blacking out if you were lucky. You had to make this search as quick as possible.

You rummaged through every drawer of the heavy oak furniture with one hand while you pressed the other one at the open wound, trying to gain some conscious time. At first, you found nothing worthy, which made you panic. You were about to faint in enemy territory without any information. But just as you were about to spiral, your knuckles hit the back of one of the drawers, creating a hollow sound. With all your remaining strength, you tore the fake divider out of its place and found a folder behind it.

“Y/N please say something, I heard shots, what happened?” Penelope’s worried voice dragged you back from your momentarily dazed-out state which occurred sooner than you’d anticipated. You placed the folder on top of the desk and started looking through the files.

“Everything is fine Garcia. Look something up for me real quick, please. Since when does Jonathan Grace deal with transporting fish? We thought all his business was related to constructions.” you tried to sound stable to calm down the analyst, but your head was already spinning so you had to lean on the edge of the desk.

“Since never. There is nothing under his name or any of his aliases with connection to the fishing industry.”

“Then why…?” you mumbled to yourself, but the answer came quicker than you could’ve finished your own sentence. The other victims were never meant to be brought here, all of this is a fucking distraction. “Pen, alert the others. The victims are getting deported in containers, hidden under the fish, right now. There’s a contract for cargos to overseas, we’ll lose them forever if they leave the States.”

By this time your vision got blurry and most of your strength left your body, so you didn’t notice the two other agents hurriedly entering the room and rushing towards you. Only when someone’s arms secured your numb self and laid you down gently did you realise that you weren’t alone.

“Y/N, listen to my voice,” Reid’s firm tone slowly reached your brain as you tried to blink the dizziness away, with no success. The doctor placed his strong hand on the wound and pressed on it, trying to slow down the process of you, bleeding out. “Stay awake.”

“I’m fine, you should see the other guy.”

“Do you really feel like this is an appropriate time for your jokes?”

“If it annoys you, then the answer is obvious.”

The harsh, sharp sound of sirens that filled the air calmed you down. The place probably was being raided, meaning that the end of this tiring case was near.

“Reid, I’ll go look for Hotch. Make sure she’s okay.” Morgan's words almost sounded like an order, and even though it was meant for the agent who was a bit more collected than you at the moment, you held up your arm and showed a thumbs-up in the direction of the leaving man.

“Keep still. If your body loses more than 20% of its blood, you could go into haemorrhagic shock. That is when the heart slows down and can't circulate enough blood around the body. Blood pressure plummets when this happens and there’s a massive drop in body temperature. If the body loses more than 40% of its blood, all the organs start to shut down and death is likely.”

“I know, and you aren’t exactly calming me but don’t stop talking,” you mumbled. You were about to close your eyes when he gently grabbed your cheeks and turned your head towards him.

“Only if you’ll keep looking at me,” he said, his voice soothing but commanding. After a painful groan, you opened your eyelids and even if you had to narrow them so that you wouldn’t see two of him, your eyes still found his. “Good girl.”

Am I tripping that hard or did I hear him correctly? If you weren’t in your current state, you would’ve become a blushing mess at those two words. You were sure that it had no meaning behind it, not when it came to Reid. He was just probably trying to take control of the situation and didn’t even notice what he said. Yes, it must be it.

For a few minutes, Reid rambled about techniques that were used even in ancient times to prevent soldiers from bleeding out, and how many methods are used in modern days too. His captivating eyes were focused on your face which has slightly glimmered since you started sweating. You tried not to break the eye contact, but you felt more and more tired to the point that you were hardly able to control your heavy eyelids. As if your lashes suddenly weighed tonnes. He was about to explain in depth the history of cauterisation when the medics entered the room, taking you away from his warm arms and lifting you with a stretcher.

From this point on, you had no memories. Everything went dark and silent. In a sense, you felt comfortable.

thank you so much for reading my work, hope you're having an awesome day! taglist: @halfbloodwriter divider from @cafekitsune gif from @reidgif

[wreckless-tempestry]

“May I have this dance?”

Year of the OTP 2025 — January Prompt

Characters: Finn x Shrimpo (Dandy’s World)

AN: WHOO I managed to make this 4.2k words exactly lmao. Anyway euhh this is my first time posting my writing to Tumblr so I hope you enjoy! These two tickle my brain so I dedicated my January to them (and will probably do so again for the rest of 2025 💀). Not sure how many shrimpbowl enjoyers are on Tumblr but pspspsps come out come out wherever you are.

As far as the whole New Years thing went, Shrimpo wasn’t a fan. Maybe other Toons felt the need to make silly resolutions, or claim it was time for a ‘new them’ but not him – he was already awesome and the best of all Toons just the way he was; there was no need for change! Thus, every January 1st that rolled around was met with Shrimpo’s typical disdain. Clearly such a meaningless date change warranted no means for celebration.

His obviously impeccable logic never seemed to pick up with the other Toons, however, and just like every year Gardenview was hosting a dance that night in the center, with all Toons being welcome to attend. A certain hum of anticipation could be felt throughout the day, with all of Gardenview’s inhabitants bustling about to make sure everything was ready for the big event. Several Toons were helping to set up the final decorations, with Dandy’s supervision, and the rest were getting themselves properly dressed and prepared for the evening.

Shrimpo was… in his room, predictably. He was trying to get in some boxing practice, but it was proving rather difficult to get in the zone when Scraps was loudly rummaging through her closet next door, giggling with her brother Goob all the while. He hated Scraps, he hated Goob, he hated dances, hated hated hated—

“Heya, Shrimpo! You pumped about the dance too?”

Shrimpo’s fist missed the punching bag entirely at the sudden voice behind him, and he whirled around with boiling ire to yell in some idiot’s face — to be met with a familiar gap-toothed grin.

Finn had traded out his usual orange life vest (god how Shrimpo despised that thing) for a white dress shirt and crimson tie, accompanied with slacks that matched the shirt. The cuffs were folded back several times, and those shoes had to be at least 2 sizes too big, yet the fishbowl seemed practically ecstatic. Like staring at a goddamn sun, Shrimpo thought, his previous loathing bubbling down to faint annoyance.

“Your tie’s crooked, dummy,” Shrimpo commented rather than replying, turning back to his punching bag.

“Ack! Come on, Goob, I trusted you!” Finn replied semi-jokingly as he attempted to tighten the offending tie, with little success. Shrimpo sighed in agitation, staring at the bag in front of him for one fleeting moment before reluctantly beginning to take his boxing gloves off. 

“You asked Goob to do your tie? That’s the dumbest thing I've ever heard.” Shrimpo snorted as he approached the other Toon. 

“Well, it was his tie, and he seemed so happy about–” 

In one swift movement Shrimpo grabbed the tie in his hands and yanked the knot upward (albeit perhaps a little too forcefully) so that it rested snugly against Finn’s neck. The boy in question coughed in mild surprise and tugged on his collar slightly. “Are ties supposed to be this tight?” he queried.

“Of course it is! I always tie them right,” Shrimpo boasted, a small smirk appearing on his face as he stepped back to admire his handiwork. No need to mention it was the only time he’d ever tied a tie — surely this was proof enough. 

“Well, if you say so,” Finn conceded, his previous grin reemerging. “Thanks, Shrimpo! You’re a big kelp.”

Of course. Shrimpo knew it was too good to be true, to have evaded any aquatic puns for so long. His smirk fell almost instantly. “That doesn’t even make sense!” he answered with a scowl, crossing his arms. “All you did was switch out a letter!”

“I’m running low on material right now, okay?” Finn complained in response. “I’m going out to pick up some more books tomorrow, and then I’ll have a ton of good jokes for you, promise!”

Shrimpo was tempted to retort that all of Finn’s jokes were terrible and he was a menace to everyone around him, but the fishbowl was already backing out of the room. “Thanks again! Can’t wait to see you at the dance!” were Finn’s final words before he scampered off down the hall.

“Huh? Hey, wait—!” Shrimpo was far too late to call out to Finn and explain that he had no intention whatsoever of leaving his room tonight. What, did Finn think he’d be caught dead on a dance floor? Hell no. Besides, with all the other toons up at Gardenview Center, he might finally be able to get a moment of peace and quiet down here. 

With an exasperated groan, Shrimpo shuffled over to his bed and flopped down onto the somewhat stiff mattress. Punching the pillow once, he rolled onto his back and stared up at his remarkably unextraordinary ceiling. The hallway outside had quieted down significantly, he realized; most of the Toons must already be making their way upstairs to the dance. “I hate pillows,” he muttered for good measure.

It was at rare moments like these, when there was no one around to berate and nothing to profess his undying hatred towards, that Shrimpo presumed he would have some peace of mind. Usually he did, or at least his thoughts weren’t quite so loud. Today, however, his brain seemed to have different plans. Against his own will, he started to think with purpose, and not only about his hate for remarkably unextraordinary ceilings.

The hall was silent. Everyone else was at the dance. Shrimpo was alone in the dorms. The dance would last a couple hours. He had nothing important to do and a lot of time to fill. Thinking would only last him so long before he didn’t want to anymore. Nobody had any plans of running into him. 

Well… almost nobody.

Heya Shrimpo! You pumped about the dance too?

Are ties supposed to be this tight?

Thanks again! Can’t wait to see you at the dance!

Might as well go to bed a little earlier than usual, eh? Not much else to do anyway. He closed his eyes. He could hear the faint buzz of the fluorescent lamps out in the hall. He opened his eyes. He looked at the clock. Four minutes had passed since the dorms had cleared out. 

Thanks again! Can’t wait to see you at the dance!

He looked back up at the empty, empty ceiling.

Thanks again! Can’t wait to see you at the dance!

He swung his legs over the edge of the bed. He walked over to where he had placed his boxing gloves, stared down at them, and turned back around again. Shuffling a little ways, he opened his closet and stared at what little contents it harbored. He closed it, looked at the bed, looked at the doorway.

Thanks again! Can’t wait to–

He slammed the closet open again. The room felt smaller, the silence deafening. The air hung about him like a blanket made to smother.

‘I need to get out of here.’ He whipped around again to make for the hall, then paused. Where to? Hell would freeze over the day anything worth visiting popped up in this hellhole. The food in the cafeteria might as well be garbage, and he didn’t particularly have an appetite at the moment anyway. Stopping by the rooms of other Toons would be weird, not to mention pointless — everyone and their mother was probably at the goddamn…

He stood in the center of his room, breathing out of his mouth and his sights fixed on nothing. He looked up and to the side. Four minutes had turned to seven.

Thanks aga–

He turned, excruciatingly slowly, and glanced back at his closet. 

Gardenview Center was, predictably, chock-full with guests. Several were up on the dais in the center of the room dancing to the music being broadcast over the speakers. Others were milling around by the food and beverage stations, and yet others were wandering aimlessly about, whether by themselves or with friends. Finn was nowhere in sight.

Shrimpo stood stiffly in the entryway, hands in fists at his side. The most remotely formal thing he could find was some unlabeled letterman jacket, which he had slung over his regular attire. 

“Shrimpo! Glad t’see ya here, friend!” Goob waved at him as he walked past, his sister at his side. He sported an uncharacteristically dignified tuxedo, bowtie and all.

“Shut up!” Shrimpo hissed immediately. “I hate dances and I hate you!” He silently congratulated himself on not completely losing his touch; he still had his fiery tongue after all. Goob gave him a weird look before turning and making his way inside. Scraps gave Shrimpo a dirty side-eye as she passed; he shot her the finger in return.

This is stupid. He whipped around on his heel, fully prepared to take his leave. Why the hell was he here? He had made it abundantly clear to everyone that he wasn't all for such events. Finn would just have to suck it up and deal with it; what sort of imbecile leaves a guy hanging after all but–

A hand grabbed his own from behind him. For the second time that day, Shrimpo spun to shoot a scathing remark at an unfortunate Toon, and was met with the same face.

“There you are! I was waiting for you.” Finn shot him his trademark grin. When the hell would that tooth grow in again? “Not trying to leave yet, are ya? You haven't tried the punch yet!”

“Wh–” Shrimpo was already being all but dragged across the room to the food stations. A couple of Toons glanced at him in what looked like surprise – Shrimpo made a point to glare at them all, despite his slight daze from the abrupt change in plans that was occurring in front of his very eyes.

He blinked, and then he stood in front of a bowl full of some crimson liquid, which Finn was currently ladling into a Solo cup. “Trust me, it’s great stuff!” the fishbowl assured Shrimpo, extending the cup to him. “Teagan was the one who made it, so you know it’s COD-ta be good! Hehehe.”

Shrimpo stared at the offending cup, and the contents of which were the reason his plans of escape had been foiled. Coming back to himself somewhat, he briskly snatched the thing from Finn’s hand, glared at the punch it held within, and downed the thing in one angry gulp. Sweet was the first word that came to mind, though not unbearably so. Tasted sort of like strawberries.

“I hate punch,” he muttered, not with the same bite as he thought it would have. He wondered where all his capability with Goob had gone. All that had changed was the audience, so what was it that kept him from speaking with the venom he knew he was capable of?

“You say that about everything, silly,” Finn chuckled, his eyes glinting in the dim lighting as he helped himself to his own cup. “SHORE-ley there must be something you don’t hate, right?”

Shrimpo was fully ready to counter that it was entirely possible and absolutely true that he despised everything, and maybe Finn should come to terms with that and stop trying so hard – and then all of a sudden they weren’t alone. Skittering towards them was a familiar little runt with a wide smile on her face, Rodger tailing close behind.

“Finn!!” Toodles hopped in place upon reaching them, hands clasped tightly together. Her usual hoodie had been replaced with a remarkably similar dress, except with a lot more unnecessary frills. “Hi hi hi!” Her gaze drifted briefly to Shrimpo, and her facial expression switched to the sort of look bratty little children give you when trying (and failing) to appear aloof. “And you’re here too, I guess.” 

“You little–” Shrimpo had the sudden urge to upend the punch bowl over Toodles’ sorry mug, but was interrupted by Rodger’s more even tone.

“I apologize. Toodles, be nice,” he hummed, his one eye half-lidded as always (though he didn’t look too apologetic). “Though I will say I am… pleasantly surprised to meet you here, Shrimpo.” The older man continued on before Shrimpo could cut in. “Finn, I asked Teagan to reserve Toodles and I a table, and she requested that I open an invitation to you as well. It’s… quite a large table for only three.” Glancing at Shrimpo once more, he added, “I suppose you can bring along your company, if you’d like.”  

“Really?!” Finn brightened immediately, his smile widening. “Well… gee, I’d love to!” His gaze turned to Shrimpo suddenly, fixing him with his bright, questioning gaze. “Only if you want to as well, though,” he added with a light laugh.

‘What the hell –?’ Why was Finn so adamant on keeping him around? Shrimpo wasn’t dumb; he was well aware that he would not be what other Toons might consider good company or whatever. Even Rodger, who was arguably one of the more level-headed members of Gardenview, seemed somewhat hesitant about extending the offer to him – his sole reason for doing so seemed to be out of politeness for Finn’s sake. The boy could have used this opportunity to slip away and head off to do whatever it is normal people do at a party.  Yet for whatever reason, Finn seemed to be completely unbothered by Shrimpo’s demeanor. It baffled the shrimp to no end. And Shrimpo hated being baffled. 

 “Whatever,” he grumbled after a brief pause, glowering at the floor. Seeming to take this as a yes, Finn took Shrimpo’s free hand once more and proclaimed “Lead the way!” to Toodles, who seemed to have gotten bored of her withdrawn charade and was already beginning to skip off in the direction of wherever the hell they were headed, Rodger close behind and Finn and Shrimpo taking up the rear. The latter got the sense that he would not be arriving back at his dorm for a long while. 

Sitting with Rodger and the rest wasn’t… horrible, Shrimpo supposed. Much better than dancing at least, God forbid. He had sort of tuned out the second the rest of the group had moved on from greeting each other, and was now staring off into space with his resting bitch face. 

At least Finn seemed to be enjoying himself, Shrimpo mused with a sideways glance at the boy, who was amiably chatting it up with Teagan. The two of them had always had some sort of friendship, with the latter often inviting Finn to some dumb tea party or whatever. What was the point, anyway?— He would just end up drinking water the entire time. Somebody should host a water party instead; Finn would surely all but jump for joy at the—

“Alllright folks!” Dandy’s sunshiny voice echoing from the speakers derailed Shrimpo’s train of thought. Jeez, could he finish one sentence even in his thoughts?! “We’ll be wrapping tonight up with one more song! Everybody, grab a partner or two and head up to the dance floor!” Cheers rose joyously from the crowd, before hands started grabbing other hands and any Toons not already on the dais began to swarm forwards in small crowds. Toodles grabbed the hands of Rodger and Teagan and leaped out of her seat to join the throng, towing along the two chuckling adults.

‘Ugh.’ Shrimpo had never attended one of these godforsaken parties before, but already he could tell that this was his cue to head out. He rose from his seat, empty plastic cup still in hand – only for his free palm to be captured by another. 

“May I have this dance?” Once again, Finn’s eyes that seemed to almost sparkle met Shrimpo’s, his hand extended towards him. Briefly taken aback, Shrimpo hurriedly regained his scowl. “Are you kidding me? You couldn’t bribe me a million dollars to go up there.” (If such an amount was actually procured, Shrimpo may have reconsidered, but no matter.) 

“Oh, come on. Would it kill you to enjoy yourself, just this once?” Finn’s voice had gotten quieter. “It’s only one song.” 

“I hate dances.” The words sounded less convincing then they had the first time around. 

“You say that about everything,” Finn answered softly for the second time that night. He wasn’t laughing this time. The room seemed to get a couple degrees warmer.

“I can’t promise you you’ll like it, but better to try now than to be left wondering later, right? I have a feeling you’d be even less satisfied than if you just take the risk and see for yourself.” 

People did not look at Shrimpo the way Finn was looking at him now. “I…” Shrimpo scrambled to speak, to refute Finn’s abruptly silken words – what do you care? How can you claim to know how I feel? – and for once in his life found his jaw unwilling to let the words loose. 

Why? When any other Toon could have easily left him aside with little remorse, Finn seemed determined to pull him off the sidelines. He didn’t have to invite Shrimpo to the party, nor did he have to extend a seating invitation meant primarily for him to Shrimpo. And most certainly he did not have to invite him to dance. It could have been anybody that Finn invited. So then why him?

Shrimpo did not know. This he could not deny, no matter how much it terrified infuriated him. 

The music was starting, sounding as if it were reaching him from underwater. Finn’s other hand reached forward to join its twin, wrapping lightly around the back of Shrimpo’s palm. The twinkle in his eye had become warmer. “Please? For me?”

One other fact Shrimpo was forced to acknowledge: Finn did know him, perhaps alarmingly well. Though his brain urged him to refuse, to play it safe as he always did, there was a nagging little flicker of curiosity that could not be beaten down. It whispered possibilities and queries in his ear, one after the other.

What’s it like to dance? Would people be looking? Would I care? Would I enjoy it?

Would I enjoy it more with Finn?

Finn knew the answer to none of these questions.

But maybe he’d be able to find them out.

“Fine.” His voice was almost a whisper, his gaze set on the ground underfoot. He could almost hear Finn’s eyebrows raise. The silence between them seemed to ring in Shrimpo’s ears.

Had Finn remained quiet for any longer, Shrimpo would have disappeared from Gardenview Center faster than Pebbles could bark, but such a thing was never to happen, for Finn smiled and replied, “Okay.” And then the two of them were walking towards the dais, their hands still intertwined. Shrimpo didn’t know if he felt weightless or even more weighed down than before. 

The lights were glaring and the music was even louder and Shrimpo was already having second thoughts, but Finn captured his attention and kept it, and he felt a little more grounded. It took a second of standing and staring at one another to realize that the action of dancing was now a requirement.

“...Um. I might not actually know how to dance,” Finn admitted, giggling sheepishly.

“Are you for real?” Shrimpo quirked one irritated eyebrow, though he found he didn’t feel the familiar boil of anger beneath his skin. It felt funny… not necessarily in a bad context. 

“Oh, I’m sure it’s not that hard,” Finn dismissed with a carefree wave of his hand, glancing over at some of the other dancers. “Uh, let me see… okay, okay, I think I get it! Sorta. Just… try to copy me, I guess. Okay?”

Not unsurprisingly, the instinct to make a snappy comment threatened to resurface, but no words ended up leaving his mouth. Instead he watched where Finn was stepping, how he held himself, and he took the same step. And he did it again. And again. 

Not once did their hands part.

If other Toons had been looking, Shrimpo hadn't been paying attention.

“Let's give a round of applause to Boxten for helping to assemble tonight's playlist!” Clapping ensued from the crowd, with Glisten grinning and uttering a whoo! The music box in question turned a light shade of crimson and ducked his eyes, though a small smile flickered across his lips. “Thank you all for attending, and have a wonderful rest of your year!” The speakers shut off with a click, and all the gathered Toons erupted in jubilant chatter. Some began to file out, while others lingered around for conversation.

Shrimpo stared at it all, unmoving. He didn’t know how to feel. His naturally angry front seemed pointless to him now, so how should he be instead? His chest felt tight, his head a little dizzy, but the sensation was… certainly not unpleasant.

The warm pressure on his hand tightened slightly, returning his attention to the present. “So?” Finn surveyed him inquisitively, grinning from ear to ear. His eyes were brighter than stars. “Was it okay?”

Shrimpo seemed to be having a bit of trouble with his reaction time, for it took a moment of all but gawking at the other boy before he could muster up a response. “...It… wasn’t bad,” he finally answered. 

“Are you glad you tried it?” The two had started ambling out of the center along with the rest of the lingering partygoers, almost without their knowledge. 

“...Uh-huh.”

“I thought so.” 

Neither Toon spoke for the rest of the trip to the dorms. 

“I guess this is where part ways for the night,” Finn hummed as the two paused outside of Shrimpo’s room. The muffled sounds of Toons winding down for the evening could be heard around them. 

“Eh? Oh.” Shrimpo had thought the walk would take longer than that, but he supposed he wasn’t in the most capable state of mind to be the judge of such things.

“Well… Goodnight, then. And, uh…” Finn lingered, looking almost uncertain for a moment. “…I had fun, earlier.” Shrimpo’s hand was released, leaving his hand abruptly cold. He tucked it into his pants pocket, feeling an odd sense of loss.

“Um. Me too. I guess,” he added, his usual habits refusing to be fully abandoned even now. A brief pause, in which the two boys stared unblinkingly at each other. Finn had small specks of amber in his eyes amidst the usual blue — like grains of sand, Shrimpo noted.

The silence quickly devolved into awkwardness, so to spare himself from further tension he muttered, “See you tomorrow,” and began to turn towards his doorway. 

He felt the faint brush of warmth against his cheek, a single soft breath close to his ear, and when he glanced to the side Finn was already dashing off down the hall, whipping around a corner and out of sight in a matter of seconds. He blinked, then blinked again. The hand that had been occupied by someone else’s moment before now raised to touch his fingertips to the skin. 

If he thought about it a little too hard he started feeling weird and fizzy, so he put that train of thought aside, shook his head and entered his room.

Other thoughts quickly rose to fill the empty space in his brain as he took off his letterman jacket. He felt as if something had shifted slightly between him and Finn tonight, though what exactly it had become he could not pinpoint. Should he ask about it, or should he just… know? Or maybe he wasn’t supposed to talk about it at all? Where did they stand with one another now?

Come to think of it, he had never really known what the two of them shared. He had thought that he would naturally be unapproachable with everyone, but a certain someone seemed to not apply to this dynamic the way everyone else seemed to. He found himself acting differently around Finn than he might with other Toons, even if it was but a slight difference — and what had transpired at the dance was decidedly not slight.

But… looking back, although he had certainly felt a little out of place and unnatural, he had felt almost… liberated, in a way. The act of ire came easily to him now with how often he used it around others, but back up on the dais, when the people around him were the last thing on his mind and his only focus was the mimicry of Finn’s steps… he hadn’t felt that uninhibited in years. And, he realized with shock, he wanted to feel that way again in the future.

Which left him wondering: 

How many things did he do, did he say, simply because he wanted to?

Perhaps he should save this revelation for another time. He slipped on his sleepwear and rolled onto his mattress, laying in the same position which he was in only a couple of hours before; the high of the night’s events was beginning to catch up to him. His ceiling was still remarkably unextraordinary. He didn’t mind; there were plenty of other, more extraordinary things he could think about instead.

He rolled over to face the wall and shut his eyes. He was out in seconds.

He dreamed of sparkling eyes and a gap-toothed grin. 

[jaehaeryshater]

England’s Pearl and Their Beloved Queen

Mary I and Katherine of Aragon by @francy-sketches

Guys. I have not been so excited for a commission in my life. I know it’s not ASOIAF so definitely not as anticipated among my friends, but it’s just so well done. I adore Katherine and Mary and this turned out so beautifully. I cannot sing Francy’s praises high enough; after the initial reference pictures I sent her, I did not need to correct anything at all, she completely got the vision.

As anyone who has ever encountered me before will have known, I am incredibly particular about commissions and therefore very involved. I usually like to give pieces I pay for extra thought and historical authenticity. For this piece, I went and looked for available quotes and contemporary accounts of Katherine’s fashion choices. I wanted to make sure from the base of the dress (the farthingale underneath) to the jewelry were all as accurate as was reasonably possible. I did even learn a thing or two, despite my initial intention of just checking to make sure everything I had previously believed was true. For example, I learned that Katherine sometimes wore a flemish hood, which I wouldn’t have thought that would align with her fashion sense; I was proven wrong. I have seen practically all the artworks available to the public that have been confirmed to be Katherine, so I had already guessed black was her favorite color to wear. But I did learn that her other favorites were purple and red. I decided to keep it simple with the black. It’s elegant and regal, black was an expensive color but still is not obnoxiously ostentatious. The jewels around her neckline as taken directly from portraits of her. The pearls seem a mainstay for her, but I did learn that her dresses had many other colored jewels tied into them. I just thought black looked the best. Her dresses were fur-lined, although I would definitely say we took some liberties on what the fur looked. The fur she wore was pretty much exclusively ermine. The sleeves also have true gold, which Spanish royalty traditionally loved (for hundreds of years, by this point, at least). Katherine’s Spanish outfits, of which she had many, definitely collected dust in favor of more traditional English outfits. There’s no indication that she was forced into this, as she did sometimes dress in the Spanish style when it struck her fancy, but it was important for her to present herself as English with English loyalties and priorities in mind. That being said, something as innocuous as gold embroidery, which was not completely foreign to the English court, was definitely something she could implement from back home without seeming like a foreigner. I have pomegranate embroidery on her sleeves, which is more of symbolism rather than something accurate. There’s no proof she ever wore pomegranate embroidery on her sleeve, but her official symbol was of a pomegranate, so I figure that was something important to her.

Katherine’s necklace is obviously a direct copy of the necklace she wears in several of the contemporary artworks depicting. This is pure speculation, but I personally believe that this necklace could have come from old English jewels that had been melted down and repurposed for her. Generally, people weren’t as sentimental in the same way we are today, nor worried about these aspects of preservation, so jewels were melted down and used for other purposes all the time. She also usually wore many strings of pearls, but it just would have looked like too much and would take away from the piece overall, so we decided just to do the necklace. Her gabled hood is also directly taken from her contemporary portraits, the gold and black with the red jewels was what she usually wore. She has a girdle belt with a long string of pearls. Sometimes she would wear a cross at the end or some black jewels that matched her necklace. What’s depicted in this is actually a pomander that turns into a rudimentary clock when it is opened. Katherine is recorded as having one of these; I thought that was very cool. I also asked for her to have some rings. She did have a wedding ring, but I found no description of it, so the artist just did basic gold. She’s wearing two which I think is pretty funny considering she was married twice, of course she wouldn’t have worn two wedding rings, but imagine if she did have the audacity to. Katherine had so much jewelry, more than any of Henry VIII’s wives. She had the royal collection available to her, pieces from Spain, and gifts from Henry specifically made for her. She usually decked herself out as expensively as possible.

Unfortunately, there is basically no information on how Mary dressed as a child. We know her mother dressed her and was having the clothes ordered herself, but beyond that, there’s really nothing available that I could find. I felt that Mary would be dressed similarly to her mother, but I wanted to give her a purple dress because purple fabric was generally the most expensive thing you could buy. I wanted to illustrate how loved and well taken care of she was. She has matching rings with her mother, but no girdle belt or necklace because I’m envisioning her as being 6-9 in this, so I wanted to give her something she could play in. She’s wearing a French hood. Katherine ordered her one in 1520, when she was four. My references on how hers should look is from portraits of her aunts Mary and Juana. I felt that Katherine would probably want to buy a style she was familiar with. Mary’s embroidery is of the Tudor rose. It turned out so beautifully. Similarly to Katherine, there’s no evidence that she actually wore that embroidery, but I wanted some symbolism in there.

My intention with this piece was to show the closeness between Katherine and Mary. Katherine loved Mary with all her heart and showed no outward indication of disappointment that Mary was a girl. She spent more time with Mary than any other highborn individual in this time period that I know of. I wanted to show that Katherine is someone that Mary deeply and completely trusted, even when court could be over the top and crowded, frightening for a child. I feel as if people other themselves from people in the past. People often feel as if people 500 years ago did not care as deeply about their children or weren’t attached to them. I believe this is true in some instances, but generally we are more like the people of the past than we like the believe. As far as any research I’ve done has shown, Katherine loved Mary as much as any mother of our time loves her children.

I believe Francy did a beautiful job, so all compliments go to her, I hope everyone checks out her page to see her amazing work. The caliber of this is unlike the commissions I’ve done in the past. I cannot thank her enough.

I hope this ended up being relatively historically accurate, I’m sure someone will let me know if it’s not haha.

[t00tsmcgee]

Rook as a Companion Banter Episode two: Bellara

Part 1 (Neve) | Part 2 of ?

Banter written with my Rook in mind <- Link to his own post if you want to read more about him!

-

Bellara: “You seem sad, Calais.” Calais: “Just Cal is fine, Bellara.” Bellara: “Oh, right. You seem sad, Cal.” Calais: “Yeah.” Bellara: “Is it because of everything that’s happening?” Calais: “It’s not the only reason, but it doesn’t help.” Bellara: “When I was sad Cyrian always asked me silly questions to cheer me up. Like, what happens if you get scared half to death twice?” Calais: “You know, he was on to something there.” Bellara: *chuckle*

Bellara: “Is it true cannibals don’t eat clowns because they taste funny?” Calais: *laughing* “Ugh!”

Calais: “Why aren’t blueberries blue?” Bellara: “They are! In a certain light anyway.” Calais: “Bella.” Bellara: “Oh, were you doing the silly question thing?” Calais: “Trying to anyway. Not very successfully judging by your reaction.” Bellara: “Yeah, still needs work. But you’ll get there.”

Calais: “Are the good things that come to those who wait the leftovers of those who didn’t wait?” Bellara: “Wow, that one’s deep.”

Calais: “If a fork was made of gold would it still be considered silverware?” Bellara: “I think you’d just call it cutlery.” Calais: “You’re really cramping my style.” Bellara: *laughing*

Calais: “Why does it take 10 minutes to cook rice?” Bellara: “Does it? I thought it took at least 15!” Lucanis: *disgusted noise* “This explains so much about that risotto you made the other day.”

Bellara: “Why is it called a pair of pants, when there’s only one bit of clothing involved?” Calais: “That’s what I’ve been saying!”

Calais: “I’m sorry about your brother, Bella.” Bellara: “Yeah, me too.” Calais: “We’ll find a way to help him. I know we will.” Bellara: “I hope you’re right.”

Calais: “If you tied buttered toast to a cat and dropped it, what would happen?” Bellara: “You’d never do that to a cat.” Calais: “No, you’re right. I’m just upset my buttered toast dropped this morning.” Bellara: “It was a heavy blow for us all.” Calais: “I might never recover.”

Bellara: “What was it like, growing up in the Necropolis?” Calais: “It was idyllic, I suppose. Vorgoth did the best he could to raise me as normally as possible. But my gift set me apart. It was hard to make friends.” Bellara: “Why?” Calais: “When you can peer into the veil and speak with spirits as if they were standing next to you, it gives you a leg up in a place like that.” Bellara: “Oh, leg, because of your leg thing?” Calais: “No, leg because that’s the turn of phrase.” Bellara: “Is it? Oh, right. I got them mixed up again. Sorry, I didn’t mean to be insensitive.” Calais: “That’s alright, you weren’t.” Bellara: “Does it hurt? Your leg?” Calais: “Yeah, all the time. Every day.” Bellara: “How do you cope with it?” Calais: “I have salves, and an elfroot tea that helps. Tastes like ass though.” Bellara: “Could you get a brace made, to help with the pain and the walking?” Calais: “I had one made, but I never wear it. The thing is more uncomfortable than the pain my leg causes me anyway.”

Bellara: “I heard you play piano the other night, in your room.” Calais: “And here I was, thinking I had a nice moment to myself.” Bellara: “You're very good. I stood and listened until you stopped playing.” Calais: “Thank you. And yeah, I fell asleep eventually.” Bellara: “You play until you fall asleep?” Calais: “On hard days.”

Bellara: “Will you play piano for me some time?” Calais: “I don’t do well with an audience.” Bellara: *deflated* “Oh..” Calais: “But, for you, I’ll try.” Bellara: *excited gasp* “Thank you!”

Bellara: *Humming song* Calais: *chuckling* “Liked that one, did you?” Bellara: “Oh, yes! You’re a very good piano player, and that song was so catchy. I keep hearing it in my head.” Rook: “Now I’m curious.” Bellara: “Cal played me a few songs last night, to help me get to sleep. But they were so good they kept me awake because I wanted to listen to them.” Calais: “Yeah, missed the mark on that.” Rook: “But it seems you’ve found a captive audience at least.” Calais: *chuckles* “Yeah. Who knows, maybe I’ll play in front of the team at some point.” Bellara: *excited noises* Calais: “No promises!”

[cantareincminor]

Day 28: Favorite Theory for the End

I haven't looked into many fan theories for the end! But I did write my own version of the end in my longest fic, tying up Project Apple and other political threads.

Spitballing, I think the canon ending is likely to have these elements (rather boring predictions):

Forgers stay together, Twilight is allowed to retire as Loid Forger (there is precedent for this in the lives of real spies)

War is averted, and Ostania and Westalis establish more peaceful ties

All of the Forgers' individual secrets are revealed to each other, and while the journey to acceptance may be rocky (especially between Twilight and Yor), they ultimately forgive and understand each other

The "bad guys"---the political and scientific figures behind Project Apple, plus the warmongers, are defeated

Bonus: Franky gets a girlfriend!

Beyond this, there are more nuanced questions I'd like to explore:

Will Twilight have to leave the Forgers at some point?

This one's 50/50 to me. Having Twilight disappear for a while--whether it's because his cover is blown or because WISE needs him elsewhere--could introduce a lot of active tension and mystery. From a storytelling perspective, if Endo chose not to reveal Twilight's fate or narrate from his POV for an entire arc, it would help put the spotlight on other characters and give them a chance to shine.

It would force characters like Yor and Anya to change the status quo of their behavior, ask questions, hunt for answers. Especially if Anya came clean to her mother about her and Bond's powers and was able to assist in finding Twilight and helping him out of whatever predicament he might be in.

Will Twilight and Thorn Princess have to fight each other, even if just for a few minutes when they're taken off guard?

This one's 75% likely to me. While Endo teased it in Yor's drunken imagination, that could still have been legit foreshadowing of the eventual showdown. There are so many great fics about Twilight and Thorn Princess running into each other on the job by accident that explore this already, I won't go into the potential setup here.

The main reason I think it's likely is because the whole premise of the story is these two extremely competent underground professionals from opposing countries living together and having no clue about the other's identity. It would make sense for them to have an explosive surprise encounter where the house of cards falls apart.

But what happens after the encounter is the main question. Does one of them leave the Forgers? Do they fully come clean or does Twilight continue to lie and try to trick Yor? Does all the trust they have accumulated in their relationship vanish and have to be painstakingly rebuilt? Or will it be a quieter scenario where they each own up to their guilt, and commit to understanding the other? I'd like to lean toward the latter, especially with Twilight's personal philosophy of relentlessly trying to understand every unknown he comes across. As he told Donovan Desmond, he believes that it's worth trying to understand other people even though it's very difficult.

Will Anya be captured/threatened by Project Apple in some way?

75% likely. This again has been explored in many fics.

From a storytelling perspective this makes sense because it would serve as a unifying factor for Twilight and Thorn Princess to work together, and WISE and Garden perhaps as well (or for their best operatives to go rogue, which can be even more interesting).

Anya, and children as a whole, are cast as the beacons of hope and innocence, worth protecting at all costs, throughout the narrative. This is apparent from chapter 1 when Twilight reveals his inner motivation is to make a world where children don't have to cry. It's reemphasized through Yor's own backstory of raising Yuri at great cost to herself; when we see Twilight's own tragic backstory of everything he lost and how he became a spy; when Sigmund Authen says that children are the world's greatest treasure; when Jeeves looks on Damian and his friends and is happy to see him loosen up and be himself, instead of constantly feeling burdened by adults' expectations. All this is to say that, when an author sets up a person/concept like this as "The Precious" in a story, they're likely to threaten it with grave danger as the pinnacle of the conflict--for all the competing sides to give up their differences and come together over the one thing they can agree on.

Will any important characters die?

75% likely. To fuel the narrative, Endo may kill someone off, as is common in longer mangas. The convenient way to do this is with an older mentor figure like Sylvia or McMahon--which leaves their subordinates devastated and lost and looking for answers or retribution. If Sylvia dies, Twilight may be forced to step up as commanding officer of WISE until the parent organization can send a replacement.

Other than that, I really have no clue.

How will Yor and Yuri confront each other about their respective secrets?

I believe this will happen after Twilight and Yor find out about each other. It might come as part of the identity reveal convo, where Twilight discloses this to Yor. He would definitely need to prevent her from giving away any signs to Yuri that her husband is a spy.

Other than that, I really have no clue again, lol

And finally, a less important question, but one I've seen fans debate about now and then: will Twilight and Yor have more children together?

50/50. (This includes both biological children and adopting--to cover the possibility that one or both of them have become infertile due to the demands of their jobs.)

Obviously I do not think this will happen until way later, after all the identity reveals, after peace has been achieved. Endo might conclude the manga with a timeskip to show what our main cast's lives are like (and the overall political landscape), and that might be when we glimpse a Twiyor baby or two.

From discussions with other fans, I think that opinions about the "Twiyor baby" largely hinge on a fan's personal preference for whether they want children in their own lives. Of course there are exceptions, but in general, fans who have or want children of their own headcanon that Twiyor will have more children, while those who don't want children hc that Twiyor will stick with just Anya.

Given that much of this question is speculating on future Twilight and Yor (I'd say at least 3 canonical years after where we currently are in the manga), it's really hard to say where their mindset will be at that point. But, I'd say Yor is more likely to want another child than Twilight. Family life with the Forgers has given her new purpose and joy; she loves being a mom to Anya, and whenever we see memories of her youth, we see her happily taking care of Yuri and treasuring those times with him. Twilight, on the other hand, needs to undergo A LOT of character growth before he'll even consider a question like this. Right now he doesn't even acknowledge Anya and Yor as his family beyond mission purposes, is trying to emotionally distance himself from them, and is still committed to the whole "hero who casts no shadow" business.

Thanks for reading this far if you made it down here!

[nandermoenthusiast]

oh my god i got so emotional SHUT UUUUUP

[a-cloud-for-dreams]

tysm for the tag Lizzie and Ava!! mwah 💗 the images are "objectively" ranked (left->right, then top->bottom) but the explanations are moreso based on personal attachments

kali: flame of samsara/song of the crimson nile: despite my well-known hatred for remy, she always has some of the most interesting story concepts (even though they're poorly executed especially past S1). i love her MCs, LIs, and and the historical settings infused with fantastical/mystery elements (even if they aren't handled well.) in my heart, i knew these books could be better with a stronger writer, but i have a soft spot for these characters and always play remy's books first after every update before moving onto other books. i would rewrite a lot of their S2s (and SOTCN's S3) to make them cleaner and more efficient because there technically is a lot to work with

astrea's broken heart: i don't think there's anything unique i can say here but i LOVE LOVE LOVE this book!! i have a soft spot for this book since it was the first RC book i saw update from the very beginning rather than jumping into an already ongoing/completed book. i love the concept, the MC, the art style, the LIs, the MYSTERY!! it's a book that is really easy to rec to new RC users (even tho the Wattpad nature of writing for S1 did make me cringe a bit i'm sorry 😭). i wish this book wasn't tied down by the HS-verse of it all but at least they set it up? and i want to see where they go with this

heaven's secret requiem: specifically S1, but i'm still giving S2 room to improve itself ig. i adore lane she's literally one of my favorite and most relatable MCs. the unsettling atmosphere, the morally grey characters, the overall concept, the WRITING STYLE?! top tier. if someone else were to write for greg and anna (along with letting boris stay dead but still haunting lane) this book could be PERFECT. also i will mention lane again because i love the way she's written as a sort of unreliable narrator who doesn't even know what's going on with herself. *chef's kiss*

soulless: wow, just, wow. i need to give a standing ovation for Wincy for how much she DEVOURED with this book. i don't even know where to begin but the way haters turned into fans when they realized this book would be deeper than "haha smut" was INCREDIBLE to watch unfold! I love vyx sm like lane she's such an amazing MC with some of the best character development on the app I can't wait to learn more about her

shakespeare's code: when it was revealed amy was the one writing for this book, i will admit i was skeptical. but thankfully i was proven WRONG. amabelle is literally one of my favorite MCs we finally get to play as someone who is evil and doesn't have to become a better person (alongside lane)!! i love how many stats you can play through and the LIs are all unique and interesting, we love to see it. i love the current ongoing theory that amabelle is a "lost shakespeare character" in one of his plays that never came to light which is why she's being surrounded by shakespeare characters in other plays in one world that shakespeare is holding together to avoid coping with a grave loss (ok wandavision). but tldr i can't wait to see what amy does with this book <33

and the haze will take us/the thunderstorms saga: these books are somewhere between being honorable mentions and faves. bear in mind that i haven't read their recent updates yet, but both books are really well done and have wonderful MCs/worldbuilding!! i always enjoy playing them but i don't have an aggressive attachment to them like i do with other books even if those other books are objectively worse if that makes sense?? it's like after i close the book i don't spend a lot of outside time thinking about them unless i'm in the mood to do so. i love the way haze is centered on slavic culture and i feel like it's difficult to mess up fantasy/elves it's so classic!

honorable mention: the missing (it's too early to officially declare it a fave but i LOVE it so far) & w: timecatcher (really well thought out book and you could feel the love arina has for all of her characters)!!

Bringing this back !

Here's a fun little thing I'm bringing back for the fandom - reblog this (or make ur own post) with your favorite ONGOING books, if you want you can add reasons as to why they're your favorites, and tag people who you think would like to participate ! 😁

reasoning & tagging below the cut to not clog the post ✨

honorable mentions: astrea's broken heart, the missing, w time catcher, kali: flame of samsara.

tagging: @theodoravery @suckitphaneuf @lanesrequiem @haitianempress @ratanslily @jillfvs @a-cloud-for-dreams @taemcains @webanglikethat @hexesandroses @renninflight @rosesandpearlss and anyone else who would like to participate ! <3

a) Soulless - where do I start ? Amazing. Showstoping. Spectacular. Totally unique, completely not ever been done before. I LOVE every single love interest, I love Vyxaria as an MC no matter the path, I looove how neatly the plot all ties together - it's just all amazing. Best ongoing story I think.

b) Shakespeare's Code - despite the fact it's been 6 episodes, this story is bumped to the TOP of my favorites. It's just amazing, Amabelle is extremely entertaining as an MC, the love interests all have different plotlines, and I love how many stats & combinations you can have !

c) 7 Brothers - of course, it wouldn't be fair to talk about my favorites without talking about this story I've been defending tooth & nail since forever. A misunderstood work of art, I really like the MC, Jaynie's so relatable & an all-around character, I absolutely cherish her. Of course, there's the love interests & Langley's amazing writing strikes again. It's always the first story I play every update <3

d) Love, Sin & Evil - another underrated work of art, my favorite thing about this story is the mechanics of saving the characters ! Super innovative, I love it. I also think Mina's a super entertaining MC and the fashion is just top notch, though on the more expensive side 👌 Eagerly waiting for the next update & the upcoming finale.

e) Heaven's Secret: Requiem - unfortunately, despite all its problems, specifically romance-wise, I still really like this story, at least for the plot of it. I'm still invested in what the fuck is the deal with Lane, and how it's all going to end.

f) And The Haze Will Take Us - Suuuuper invested to see where Alice is taking this story. I was kind of torn on season 1 but I'm actually really focused on season 2 to see where this story and this haze will be taking us ! Looking forward to the next update.

[box-dwelling]

OK so I am like a day past completing the Ansur dungeon and it's been enough time to let my thoughts on it settle. Spoilers ahead.

For context, first playthrough with a basic tav. I'm a good way through act three and have finished a few of the pc quest lines. Minsc, Jaheria and Astarion are done. I have yet to get the hammer or do the house of grief but I have done sorcerers sundries. Also I haven't refused Ulder yet but it like the next thing I'm doing. Other context is that dnd is a huge special interest of mine. I've been playing for about 7 years straight. Both dming and as pcs and I have played under professional dms before. This does affect how I view the game but it's mostly postively.

Disclaimer, I haven't finished the game so there may be some stuff that ends up being done that I just haven't seen but the quest line says it's over and from what I've read online it doesn't seem like that's the case so.

So let's start off with the pros because I honestly have less to say there

As a dm I can and always do look at the dungeon design. Larian is genuinely really really good at this, and this dungeon is no exception. I loved the puzzles though a few could use some tweaking. They arent all great. But there's ideas there that I will probably introduce in my games some time. A chess puzzle especially is such a great idea. That was so cool and the fact bring gale along means you can get the answer free I'd you don't play chess makes perfect sense. Genuinely great.

I also liked the visual design. I had expected the appearance to be what I was starting to dub in my head as the "character development dungeon aesthetic " given that really in terms of design and function cazadors dungeon, the gauntlet of shar and the sorcerers sundries vaults are very very similar. But this one wasn't and I'm very happy about that. Give me some variety.

The Ansur fight itself, AMAZING. Great boss battle. I loved the hell out of it. I'd have to dig into the code to properly tell but it looked like they used a varient of the colossus fighting rules which while I've actually never run but I have been at tables where it has been run to incredible effect. They're good rules. I'm glad to see them used. It honestly makes me consider running them myself.

Last pro, on the face of it, I like the idea. I like the concept of wylls character development dungeon being about learning about the tenants of being a hero from one he looked up to. That tracks. It's a good place to take his charcater at least in theory.

As for the cons, it's mostly one but it's also a big one that has majorly pissed me off. Because Wyll is in my joint top 3 for favourite characters and they did him so fucking dirty.

I really really hated how they handled the twist with the Emperor. I don't dislike him as a charcater but I think it's at least to me pretty unambiguous that he's a pretty shady and morally grey charcater. Which is fine. In fact, it's actually a pretty interesting way to take Wyll's arc. That he looked up to this hero, internalised his mindset through the chambers and then learns that he was actually a pretty shady morally complex figure that doesn't live up to wylls expectation, that is a GOLD mine of character development. That is absolutely fascinating. Except, it doesn't do that. He barely even comments on it. Just says he's forged into a new hero by the trials while ignoring the person who set them is the very shady figure who has honestly fucked us over a lot.

You know who's another hero wyll probably looked up to? Minsc! And the Emperor is a real fucking bitch about letting him join the party.

This is compounded by the fact his good/bad ending choice rather than being a slow build up like everyone else where they get tempted by power and then have to turn it away, he instead just says "hey I could become grand duke" out of no where and then doesn't even need a persuasion check to get talked out of it like everyone else does.

So, I would be remiss without giving a way I'd fix it. So here is that.

Th ansur dungeon isn't given to us by florrick in the lower city. It's given somewhere else before you get there.

I'd recommend like, it being in a book or something in Wyrms crossing. The location is tied to wyll anyway. Maybe add in his childhood bedroom that he asks to go visit. You can put in some environmental storytelling telling that can expand on his complicated relationship ulder. Maybe the room is bordered up and untouched but when you get inside there evidence of genuine love.

When you get there you get the story of ansurs legend and wyll becomes obsessed with using this as a way to help save the city.

The ansur dungeon then gets basically left untouched. Twist and all.

But at the end of it, rather than just deciding he's going to become grand duke, it becomes a question. He can't become grand duke while Ulder is alive. And Bauldrian the great adventurer became a politician after wards. Give the Emperor a reason to not want ulder alive. Maybe Ulder risks not being able to defeat the elder brain in some way, and tie it into his reaction to Wyll taking a deal with Mizora.

Wyll is now conflicted. If his father dies he can carry on in both his and Bauldrans footsteps. Ulder left his child in command of an army before he was an adult. Can he really be trusted to take care of the city? Of course wyll loves him and of course wyll wants to save him but there's that doubt there. I have been reforged in to bauldarns heir. I could do a better job. I could save more people. He abandoned me. Why should I save him? If he breaks his pact this is also fed into by the fact it puts him at very active threat from mizora. It's not that prevelant. Wyll is wyll he's not that susceptible to corruption but a little bit of doubt, coaxed on by the Emperor is all he needs.

Then the lower city.

Make sure you have to get minsc before continuing his quest line. Have wyll have a reaction to the Emperor 's distrust of minsc. These are two of his childhood hero's fighting. Play that up for some drama.

Then saving ulder becomes the thing that either makes him the blade of avernus or the grand duke. He can either choose to not save his father, take on the title of grand duke and rule the city following in baulderans footsteps or, he can kill mizora and swear his life to killing demons as a the blade of avernus. . Later becoming a ranger just like minsc. Even give minsc a few lines giving him a pep talk about it. Maybe even having him explain that wyll need to be his own kind of hero taking the infulances he has from the past and learning from them to become a better one. If the pact stays he just remains the blade of the frontiers if he saves ulder but can become grand duke if he doesnt.

Then, have ulder apologise and then reconcile. Have wyll learn to actually recognise his father as a flawed man who hurt him but who is also complex. Maybe even have an option for if he chooses to fully reconnect their relationship or not.

The bones of a really really really good story are here. Please, for the love of God, larian actually tell it.

[tofupixel]

⭐ So you want to learn pixel art? ⭐

🔹 Part 1 of ??? - The Basics!

Edit: Now available in Google Doc format if you don't have a Tumblr account 🥰

Hello, my name is Tofu and I'm a professional pixel artist. I have been supporting myself with freelance pixel art since 2020, when I was let go from my job during the pandemic.

My progress, from 2017 to 2024. IMO the only thing that really matters is time and effort, not some kind of natural talent for art.

This guide will not be comprehensive, as nobody should be expected to read allat. Instead I will lean heavily on my own experience, and share what worked for me, so take everything with a grain of salt. This is a guide, not a tutorial. Cheers!

🔹 Do I need money?

NO!!! Pixel art is one of the most accessible mediums out there.

I still use a mouse because I prefer it to a tablet! You won't be at any disadvantage here if you can't afford the best hardware or software.

Because our canvases are typically very small, you don't need a good PC to run a good brush engine or anything like that.

✨Did you know? One of the most skilled and beloved pixel artists uses MS PAINT! Wow!!

🔹 What software should I use?

Here are some of the most popular programs I see my friends and peers using. Stars show how much I recommend the software for beginners! ⭐

💰 Paid options:

⭐⭐⭐ Aseprite (for PC) - $19.99

This is what I and many other pixel artists use. You may find when applying to jobs that they require some knowledge of Aseprite. Since it has become so popular, companies like that you can swap raw files between artists.

Aseprite is amazingly customizable, with custom skins, scripts and extensions on Itch.io, both free and paid.

If you have ever used any art software before, it has most of the same features and should feel fairly familiar to use. It features a robust animation suite and a tilemap feature, which have saved me thousands of hours of labour in my work. The software is also being updated all the time, and the developers listen to the users. I really recommend Aseprite!

⭐ Photoshop (for PC) - Monthly $$

A decent option for those who already are used to the PS interface. Requires some setup to get it ready for pixel-perfect art, but there are plenty of tutorials for doing so.

Animation is also much more tedious on PS which you may want to consider before investing time!

⭐⭐ ProMotion NG (for PC) - $19.00

An advanced and powerful software which has many features Aseprite does not, including Colour Cycling and animated tiles.

⭐⭐⭐ Pixquare (for iOS) - $7.99 - $19.99 (30% off with code 'tofu'!!)

Probably the best app available for iPad users, in active development, with new features added all the time.

Look! My buddy Jon recommends it highly, and uses it often.

One cool thing about Pixquare is that it takes Aseprite raw files! Many of my friends use it to work on the same project, both in their office and on the go.

⭐ Procreate (for iOS) - $12.99

If you have access to Procreate already, it's a decent option to get used to doing pixel art. It does however require some setup. Artist Pixebo is famously using Procreate, and they have tutorials of their own if you want to learn.

⭐⭐ ReSprite iOS and Android. (free trial, but:) $19.99 premium or $$ monthly

ReSprite is VERY similar in terms of UI to Aseprite, so I can recommend it. They just launched their Android release!

🆓 Free options:

⭐⭐⭐ Libresprite (for PC)

Libresprite is an alternative to Aseprite. It is very, very similar, to the point where documentation for Aseprite will be helpful to Libresprite users.

⭐⭐ Pixilart (for PC and mobile)

A free in-browser app, and also a mobile app! It is tied to the website Pixilart, where artists upload and share their work. A good option for those also looking to get involved in a community.

⭐⭐ Dotpict (for mobile)

Dotpict is similar to Pixilart, with a mobile app tied to a website, but it's a Japanese service. Did you know that in Japanese, pixel art is called 'Dot Art'? Dotpict can be a great way to connect with a different community of pixel artists! They also have prompts and challenges often.

🔹 So I got my software, now what?

◽Nice! Now it's time for the basics of pixel art.

❗ WAIT ❗ Before this section, I want to add a little disclaimer. All of these rules/guidelines can be broken at will, and some 'no-nos' can look amazing when done intentionally.

The pixel-art fundamentals can be exceedingly helpful to new artists, who may feel lost or overwhelmed by choice. But if you feel they restrict you too harshly, don't force yourself! At the end of the day it's your art, and you shouldn't try to contort yourself into what people think a pixel artist 'should be'. What matters is your own artistic expression. 💕👍

◽Phew! With that out of the way...

🔸"The Rules"

There are few hard 'rules' of pixel art, mostly about scaling and exporting. Some of these things will frequently trip up newbies if they aren't aware, and are easy to overlook.

🔹Scaling method

There are a couple ways of scaling your art. The default in most art programs, and the entire internet, is Bi-linear scaling, which usually works out fine for most purposes. But as pixel artists, we need a different method.

Both are scaled up x10. See the difference?

On the left is scaled using Bilinear, and on the right is using Nearest-Neighbor. We love seeing those pixels stay crisp and clean, so we use nearest-neighbor. 

(Most pixel-art programs have nearest-neighbor enabled by default! So this may not apply to you, but it's important to know.)

🔹Mixels

Mixels are when there are different (mixed) pixel sizes in the same image.

Here I have scaled up my art- the left is 200%, and the right is 150%. Yuck!

As we can see, the "pixel" sizes end up different. We generally try to scale our work by multiples of 100 - 200%, 300% etc. rather than 150%. At larger scales however, the minute differences in pixel sizes are hardly noticeable!

Mixels are also sometimes seen when an artist scales up their work, then continues drawing on it with a 1 pixel brush.

Many would say that this is not great looking! This type of pixels can be indicative of a beginner artist. But there are plenty of creative pixel artists out there who mixels intentionally, making something modern and cool.

🔹Saving Your Files

We usually save our still images as .PNGs as they don’t create any JPEG artifacts or loss of quality. It's a little hard to see here, but there are some artifacts, and it looks a little blurry. It also makes the art very hard to work with if we are importing a JPEG.

For animations .GIF is good, but be careful of the 256 colour limit. Try to avoid using too many blending mode layers or gradients when working with animations. If you aren’t careful, your animation could flash afterwards, as the .GIF tries to reduce colours wherever it can. It doesn’t look great!

Here's an old piece from 2021 where I experienced .GIF lossiness, because I used gradients and transparency, resulting in way too many colours.

🔹Pixel Art Fundamentals - Techniques and Jargon

❗❗Confused about Jaggies? Anti-Aliasing? Banding? Dithering? THIS THREAD is for you❗❗ << it's a link, click it!!

As far as I'm concerned, this is THE tutorial of all time for understanding pixel art. These are techniques created and named by the community of people who actually put the list together, some of the best pixel artists alive currently. Please read it!!

🔸How To Learn

Okay, so you have your software, and you're all ready to start. But maybe you need some more guidance? Try these tutorials and resources! It can be helpful to work along with a tutorial until you build your confidence up.

⭐⭐ Pixel Logic (A Digital Book) - $10 A very comprehensive visual guide book by a very skilled and established artist in the industry. I own a copy myself.

⭐⭐⭐ StudioMiniBoss - free A collection of visual tutorials, by the artist that worked on Celeste! When starting out, if I got stuck, I would go and scour his tutorials and see how he did it.

⭐ Lospec Tutorials - free A very large collection of various tutorials from all over the internet. There is a lot to sift through here if you have the time.

⭐⭐⭐ Cyangmou's Tutorials - free (tipping optional) Cyangmou is one of the most respected and accomplished modern pixel artists, and he has amassed a HUGE collection of free and incredibly well-educated visual tutorials. He also hosts an educational stream every week on Twitch called 'pixelart for beginners'.

⭐⭐⭐ Youtube Tutorials - free There are hundreds, if not thousands of tutorials on YouTube, but it can be tricky to find the good ones. My personal recommendations are MortMort, Brandon, and AdamCYounis- these guys really know what they're talking about!

🔸 How to choose a canvas size

When looking at pixel art turorials, we may see people suggest things like 16x16, 32x32 and 64x64. These are standard sizes for pixel art games with tiles. However, if you're just making a drawing, you don't necessarily need to use a standard canvas size like that.

What I like to think about when choosing a canvas size for my illustrations is 'what features do I think it is important to represent?' And make my canvas as small as possible, while still leaving room for my most important elements.

Imagine I have characters in a scene like this:

I made my canvas as small as possible (232 x 314), but just big enough to represent the features and have them be recognizable (it's Good Omens fanart 😤)!! If I had made it any bigger, I would be working on it for ever, due to how much more foliage I would have to render.

If you want to do an illustration and you're not sure, just start at somewhere around 100x100 - 200x200 and go from there.

It's perfectly okay to crop your canvas, or scale it up, or crunch your art down at any point if you think you need a different size. I do it all the time! It only takes a bit of cleanup to get you back to where you were.

🔸Where To Post

Outside of just regular socials, Twitter, Tumblr, Deviantart, Instagram etc, there are a few places that lean more towards pixel art that you might not have heard of.

⭐ Lospec Lospec is a low-res focused art website. Some pieces get given a 'monthly masterpiece' award. Not incredibly active, but I believe there are more features being added often.

⭐⭐ Pixilart Pixilart is a very popular pixel art community, with an app tied to it. The community tends to lean on the young side, so this is a low-pressure place to post with an relaxed vibe.

⭐⭐ Pixeljoint Pixeljoint is one of the big, old-school pixel art websites. You can only upload your art unscaled (1x) because there is a built-in zoom viewer. It has a bit of a reputation for being elitist (back in the 00s it was), but in my experience it's not like that any more. This is a fine place for a pixel artist to post if they are really interested in learning, and the history. The Hall of Fame has some of the most famous / impressive pixel art pieces that paved the way for the work we are doing today.

⭐⭐⭐ Cafe Dot Cafe Dot is my art server so I'm a little biased here. 🍵 It was created during the recent social media turbulence. We wanted a place to post art with no algorithms, and no NFT or AI chuds. We have a heavy no-self-promotion rule, and are more interested in community than skill or exclusivity. The other thing is that we have some kind of verification system- you must apply to be a Creator before you can post in the Art feed, or use voice. This helps combat the people who just want to self-promo and dip, or cause trouble, as well as weed out AI/NFT people. Until then, you are still welcome to post in any of the threads or channels. There is a lot to do in Cafe Dot. I host events weekly, so check the threads!

⭐⭐/r/pixelart The pixel art subreddit is pretty active! I've also heard some of my friends found work through posting here, so it's worth a try if you're looking. However, it is still Reddit- so if you're sensitive to rude people, or criticism you didn't ask for, you may want to avoid this one. Lol

🔸 Where To Find Work

You need money? I got you! As someone who mostly gets scouted on social media, I can share a few tips with you:

Put your email / portfolio in your bio Recruiters don't have all that much time to find artists, make it as easy as possible for someone to find your important information!

Clean up your profile If your profile feed is all full of memes, most people will just tab out rather than sift through. Doesn't apply as much to Tumblr if you have an art tag people can look at.

Post regularly, and repost Activity beats everything in the social media game. It's like rolling the dice, and the more you post the more chances you have. You have to have no shame, it's all business baby

Outside of just posting regularly and hoping people reach out to you, it can be hard to know where to look. Here are a few places you can sign up to and post around on.

/r/INAT INAT (I Need A Team) is a subreddit for finding a team to work with. You can post your portfolio here, or browse for people who need artists.

/r/GameDevClassifieds Same as above, but specifically for game-related projects.

Remote Game Jobs / Work With Indies Like Indeed but for game jobs. Browse them often, or get email notifications.

VGen VGen is a website specifically for commissions. You need a code from another verified artist before you can upgrade your account and sell, so ask around on social media or ask your friends. Once your account is upgraded, you can make a 'menu' of services people can purchase, and they send you an offer which you are able to accept, decline, or counter.

The evil websites of doom: Fiverr and Upwork I don't recommend them!! They take a big cut of your profit, and the sites are teeming with NFT and AI people hoping to make a quick buck. The site is also extremely oversaturated and competitive, resulting in a race to the bottom (the cheapest, the fastest, doing the most for the least). Imagine the kind of clients who go to these websites, looking for the cheapest option. But if you're really desperate...

🔸 Community

I do really recommend getting involved in a community. Finding like-minded friends can help you stay motivated to keep drawing. One day, those friends you met when you were just starting out may become your peers in the industry. Making friends is a game changer!

Discord servers Nowadays, the forums of old are mostly abandoned, and people split off into many different servers. Cafe Dot, Pixel Art Discord (PAD), and if you can stomach scrolling past all the AI slop, you can browse Discord servers here.

Twitch Streams Twitch has kind of a bad reputation for being home to some of the more edgy gamers online, but the pixel art community is extremely welcoming and inclusive. Some of the people I met on Twitch are my friends to this day, and we've even worked together on different projects! Browse pixel art streams here, or follow some I recommend: NickWoz, JDZombi, CupOhJoe, GrayLure, LumpyTouch, FrankiePixelShow, MortMort, Sodor, NateyCakes, NyuraKim, ShinySeabass, I could go on for ever really... There are a lot of good eggs on Pixel Art Twitch.

🔸 Other Helpful Websites

Palettes Lospec has a huge collection of user-made palettes, for any artist who has trouble choosing their colours, or just wants to try something fun. Rejected Palettes is full of palettes that didn't quite make it onto Lospec, ran by people who believe there are no bad colours.

The Spriters Resource TSR is an incredible website where users can upload spritesheets and tilesets from games. You can browse for your favourite childhood game, and see how they made it! This website has helped me so much in understanding how game assets come together in a scene.

VGMaps Similar to the above, except there are entire maps laid out how they would be played. This is incredible if you have to do level design, or for mocking up a scene for fun.

Game UI Database Not pixel-art specific, but UI is a very challenging part of graphics, so this site can be a game-changer for finding good references!

Retronator A digital newspaper for pixel-art lovers! New game releases, tutorials, and artworks!

Itch.io A website where people can upload, games, assets, tools... An amazing hub for game devs and game fans alike. A few of my favourite tools: Tiled, PICO-8, Pixel Composer, Juice FX, Magic Pencil for Aseprite

🔸 The End?

This is just part 1 for now, so please drop me a follow to see any more guides I release in the future. I plan on doing some writeups on how I choose colours, how to practise, and more!

I'm not an expert by any means, but everything I did to get to where I am is outlined in this guide. Pixel art is my passion, my job and my hobby! I want pixel art to be recognized everywhere as an art-form, a medium of its own outside of game-art or computer graphics!

This guide took me a long time, and took a lot of research and experience. Consider following me or supporting me if you are feeling generous.

And good luck to all the fledgling pixel artists, I hope you'll continue and have fun. I hope my guide helped you, and don't hesitate to send me an ask if you have any questions! 💕

My other tutorials (so far): How to draw Simple Grass for a game Hue Shifting

[itsalwaysdark]

thank GODDD the doctor is taking time to work on himself maybe now he can stop ruining womens lives .

[ageofkarme]

It was like knowing Polaris just wanted to get a reaction out of him did nothing to stop the reaction. Of course, a handful of words was all it took for Karme to unravel. He tried to come up with a seductive rebuttal of his own, but all he managed was to audibly expose how tongue-tied he was. "I … w-well we uh…" After that, Karme failed to say anything that could be considered common speech, growing red in the face from the situation and the assertion that the night was too young to consider their date nearing its end.   He felt so out of his depth, their intertwined hands serving to remind Karme that this was real and any doubts he had were unfounded. Still, he was a sheltered witch who was only just now trying to stand on his own two feet and Polaris was seriously considering buying a club on top of everything else. Karme was expecting to see some regal, avante-garde space upon climbing the stairs but was pleasantly surprised that the studio looked more personal than that. True, his own workspace was consistently chaotic, displaying Karme's capacity to jump between ten different projects in an hour, but he recognized the signs of inspiration and dedication that littered the space. After all, why bother cleaning when that time could be used toward creating?   Karme's mouth was agape in a smile as he looked around in wonderment, thinking that maybe he could relate to Polaris. Possibly. Be less extravagant in his wooing attempts? Well, it'd certainly be something Karme had to try since all he wanted to do was impress the other with everything he was capable of, especially now that he was getting to see the sculptures. He kept bouncing between accepting Polaris was way out of his league to thinking that maybe they were closer to the same level to acknowledging that he had no idea how he would keep Polaris liking him if he had to be simple in his approach. Karme had a lot of thoughts brewing all at once, so he jumped at the opportunity to burn some of that excess energy off by doing something. "Oh I can get comfortable really quick. Now that I've seen how talented of a sculptor you are I can't wait for you to do me!" he exclaimed, an involuntary laugh bubbling out of his throat as he discarded his fancy overcoat to literally leap onto the modelling stand.   "Check it! I can do a heroic pose—" Karme stands with his fists pressed into his hips and his chest pushed out for a couple of seconds. "—ooo! Or I can do a…" This one he doesn't name, instead falling silent as he attempts to look thoughtful while crossing one leg. He loses his balance quickly and nearly tumbles over, but he's quite used to recovering quickly after a blunder, grinning as he sits straight and flexes both arms. However, despite this and the tightness of the shirt he purchased for their date, there's no noticeable lift in his shirt over his "flexing biceps". "Hey! What about this? I could probably hold this for a while, plus you'll get to witness my best side," Karme quips, bouncing his eyebrows at Polaris.

Polaris's thoughts traced the past like a record, his mind elsewhere as the distant call of a far-off home rang true. Maybe, yes. Maybe in another life but this was the one they'd both been saddled with. Polaris's smile was tight but fair, drawn from the edge of it as he held the witch's hand in his own. "Well," at the rawness of it all, Polaris leaned closer, "the night is young." Karme spoke of the stars and far-off lands but quiet comforts were far more pleasurable for someone who bored his way to the top.

"Nothing so extravagant," Polaris assured Karme before he tilted his head slightly in indication for the witch to follow him. A simple turn of a key in the lock and the door beckoned them forward through a foyer that was rarely used and up a set of stairs that led to a broader area. Despite his refinement, the sculptor didn't transpose as much organization toward the studio as his disposition might have implied. Everything was where it ought to be, but the rawness of materials led to an array of organized clutter - dust, paint, and other bits scattered about. Polaris rarely ceased a project part way, so the statues that littered the studio were complete and intentionally placed.

Polaris led Karme by the hand to the modeling stand, "Why don't you take your place?" He tilted his head toward it, "You'll have to get comfortable up there eventually." They'd try a few poses but that wasn't anywhere near the dragon's intention.

[gooobraghhh]

t4t sex I had that some of you might be interested in:

Started yesterday by sending nudes to a trans guy while he was at work in order to get him all riled up. When I picked him up I made him put a big toy in his boy cunt which he did in the passenger seat of my car like a good puppy. Proceeded to take him on hours of errands and a dinner date all the while whispering naughty things in his ear. He would whimper and moan whenever he had to lean or bend over which only made me put him in more situations where he had to do exactly that. By the end of it he was begging me to touch his aching tdick which I was willfully ignoring. He was constantly trying to touch himself over his clothes and bucking his hips in needy want for attention but I would bat his hand away. He even asked if he could get off while we were in traffic, I guess I can’t blame him though since I had been teasing him for 6 hours at that point. When we finally got home I gave him an edible as his treat, tied him up, blindfolded him and started thoroughly fucking him with toys making sure not to give him any attention on his throbbing dick. He was loudly pleading with me to touch him there or at least let him touch himself but why would I when his begging was sooo cute. I would occasionally let him rub against my thumb but I would never put enough pressure for him to really get anything out of it, I just liked watching him desperately move his hips up and down for me. After over an hour of this I finally agreed to let him touch himself as long as he promised to be a good puppy and cum nice and hard for me, as well as saying thank you when I got him off. He was so loud about how thankful he was and even louder when I started fucking him hard as he desperately rubbed a toy on his tdick trying his best to cum before I changed my mind. He finally got off and I felt him tighten up. As he kept repeating “thank you mommy” in a really cute voice. He was twitching and shaking and made a giant mess all over my bed like a bad dog so I made sure to spank him really hard as a punishment.

In total I started teasing him around noon and he finally got off at about 3am so you can imagine just how pent up I got him. I wonder if any other trans guys would like me to tease them like this.