#some of them are also literal accidents and were not meant to exist

[amsgrey]

request for a kaz brekker x reader one bed trope! literally some of my favorite fics to read ever!!! def with some angst maybe reader gets injured on the heist and kaz has to help. reader insists that they should sleep in the same bed and they end up confessing feelings or something. SO GOOD

Thank you for the request! Sorry it took so long but hey, it's alright.

Warnings: Violence, Blood, typical canon violence, kind of OOC!Kaz, semi-bad writing.

“Hey,” Nina didn’t bother knocking as she stepped into your room, “There’s someone here to see you.” 

You looked up from your small desk, “Who?” 

Nina shrugged, “Wouldn’t say, but she won't leave until she speaks with you.” 

You frowned, getting to your feet and following after Nina. A million possibilities ran through your mind as you descended the stairs, you didn’t know many people from Ketterdam, or you didn’t know anyone that Kaz also didn’t know. WHo had come to speak to you was a complete mystery to you and judging by the way the Crows were gathered at the bottom of the stairs, it was a mystery to them too. 

“Who is she?” Jesper broke the heavy silence first.

You rolled your eyes, “How am i supposed to know, Jes?” 

Walking past him and the others you looked for the woman. There were a few dregs hanging around in the slat, like always. Hiding from the damp Ketterdam air or filling in their afternoons with ale and gambling. It meant the woman stuck out like a sore thumb. When you finally saw her, your blood ran cold. 

“Oh, my,” The woman stepped forward, she grabbed your hands and smiled at you, “Look how grown up you are, my dear.” 

She pulled you into a hug, an awkward show of affection that she had never done before. 

“Mother.” 

She hadn’t changed in the 7 or so years since you saw her last, a few graying hairs and wrinkles around her eyes were the only evidence time had passed. She still wore the same turquoise dress, the fabric stained and dirty where it spent too many years dragging on the dirt. She had tied a knitted shawl around her shoulders, to stave off the cold of the barrel and to make herself look more presentable. When you were a child on the farm with your parents, your mother would refuse to do any of the hard labor or household duties, always dressed in her ‘fine’ clothes and sitting by a window like the queen of Ravka. 

You hated her for it then, the way she forced you to conduct her duties. The hard labor with your father on the farm, the chores inside the home, raising your three younger siblings. Looking at the woman before you now, you hated her just as much. 

“What do you want, mother?” You forced out through gritted teeth. 

The woman batted your hand she still held, a sharp smack to chide you for your tone, “Is that how you speak to the woman who raised you?” 

She didn’t raise you though. Your father was the one who taught you everything you knew, cared and loved you. The marriage of your parents had been of convenience, a rich farmer up the road had fallen on hard times so he married off his only daughter to your father. Something neither of them wanted. 

When your father had died suddenly in a farming accident, your mother had sold you to slavers, without a second thought. You had spent years in Ketterdam trying to bury the memories of your younger brothers screaming for you to stay, the chains that chaffed and burnt your skin and the cruel men who didn’t care about anything but making coins. 

Standing with your mother before you, her soft hands gripping you so tightly, you felt like a young girl all over again. Begging for affection from a woman who hated your existence, cursed to always be nothing to her. You could still remember the beatings and the screaming, the bruises that you tried to hide and the permanent split in your lip which took years to properly heal. 

Kaz was watching the whole encounter, quiet and calculating like he always was. The other crows were growing concerned, there was an air of uncertainty that settled over them all. 

“What can we help you with?” Kaz finally spoke, he stepped closer to you, towering over your mother. Having him at your side brought you ease, a feeling of calm that always came over you when he was near. Kaz was prepared for anything, he always looked out for you and the crows. 

“And you are?” Your mother snapped, glaring at Kaz. 

Kaz didn’t seem bothered, “Are you here for something? Or to terrorize your daughter?” 

You glanced back at Kaz, he had a look of pure rage in his eyes. You hadn’t told Kaz the details of your past, but he knew your mother sold you to slavers. You realized suddenly you didn’t want to be in the middle of Kaz and your mother fighting. 

You grabbed your mothers arm, dragging her away from the gathered Crows and Kaz’s glower and pulling her outside. In the Ketterdam air things were immediately colder, you hadn’t grabbed your coat so you could feel it even more. 

“What are you doing here?” You demanded. 

“Can I not come see my daughter?” 

“You never cared before, I didn’t even know you knew this is where I lived. You sold me to slavers,” You cried, stepping away as you started to get upset. “What in Sankta Alina could you want?” 

“I am married,” Your mother boasted, “He lives in the Zelver district, we want you to come have dinner.” 

You were reeling, so much information was thrown at you all at once. You gapped to answer. 

“Your brothers will be there too,” Your mother waved her hand like she was dismissing your concerns, “They stayed on the farm.”

“Why- why do you want me there?” 

“To make amends, my love,” She took your hands again, “It is time we act like a family again. Perhaps you could bring that guard dog of yours, act civilized.” 

You wanted to say yes, straight away you wanted to say yes and trust that she had true intentions. But there was something nagging in your mind. 

“Who is it that you're married to, mother?”

“A Merchant, trades with the Ravkan crown, Alexei Berezin.” 

You recognized the name immediately, he had one of the largest mansions in the Zelver district, rivaled only by foreign dignitaries. He had brought in a large shipment of Ravkan gold and silk, Kaz had stolen half of it almost immediately, because Berezin had thought himself untouchable. 

“When's dinner?” You forced out, trying not to let your knowledge of the man show. 

“Tomorrow, be there by seven.” 

She wandered away, slipping into the crowd of foot traffic and joining the mess of colours. 

-- 

“Alexei Berezin.”

You forced a smile, “It’s a pleasure to meet you.” 

The man looked over you and Kaz like you were nothing, he grunted in greeting and disappeared towards the drinks cart. 

You looked at Kaz, “Too late to leave?” 

Kaz smiled, it made him look softer somehow, “We don’t have to stay long, let's hope Inej and Wylan are quick.” 

A servant greeted you as you walked further into the drawing room, she offered you and Kaz wine in crystal glasses. You had played being rich at banquets and galas before, it was easy to hide in a crowd of rich people to steal from them, but here holding the crystal glass made you feel so exposed. The only thing that was stopping you from running out the door was Kaz by your side. He always looked out for you, tonight would be no different. 

Your mother had lied, your brothers were not at the dinner. She had spun some more lies about how they hadn't been able to make the journey but you wondered if they were even invited in the first place. You, Kaz, your mother and her new husband all sat at the ridiculously long table, eating silently except for a few forced comments. 

“So,” Berezin belched, downing his fourth glass of brandy, “Mr Brekker, how is business?”

Kaz looked at you from across the table, “As good as yours, Berezin.” 

Berezin snared, “So then you admit to taking my shipment?” 

“A shipment?” Kaz leant back, starting to enjoy the game. 

Berezin started getting red in the face, rage barely contained in his eyes, “You know exactly what I’m talking about, Dirty Hands.” 

A smile ghosted across Kaz’s face, “Is this why you extended the invite, Berezin? Hoping to get your silks back?” 

You jumped when Berezin slammed his fist on the table, he stood abruptly, his chair falling backwards loudly, “You listen to me here boy! You will pay me back what I am owed or I will make your life a living hell!” 

“A living hell?” 

“You have no idea who you are messing with, you and your little whore will pay-” 

Kaz was on his feet faster than you had time to process, “Watch your mouth, Berezin, or silks won't be the only thing you lose.” 

Berezin started shouting in rage, his words mostly coming out as jumbled insults and threats which didn’t mean anything for you and Kaz. 

“We’re leaving,” You said to your mother, not bothering to bid her a proper goodbye as you joined Kaz’s side and retrieved your coats. 

You were both halfway through the foyer when things took a turn. 

Somewhere in the garden outside a fire roared to life, a green chemical fire that was Wylan's emergency beacon. Kaz urged you to walk faster, his cane striking loudly against the marble floor as you both tried to leave before Berezin caught on. 

“Thief!” 

Kaz grabbed your hand, and both of you ran the rest of the way out of the house and down the garden path. Berezin was screaming from inside the house, shouting orders to his few guards and screaming for someone to alert the Stadwatch. You and Kaz didn’t stop running until you reached the canal, skittering to a stop and dropping into the waiting boat. Matthias and Wylan were already there, Wylan was heaving like he had just finished a mad dash too. 

“Did you get it?” Kaz demanded as Matthias started to row the boat towards 4th Harbor. 

Wylan was nodding, “Handed it off to Inej, she and Jesper are heading to the warehouse now.”

You had to give it to Kaz, when he had explained the plan this morning after all-night scheming, you didn’t think you would be able to pull it off. But yet again, he proved he knew everyone's skills. 

The plan was somewhat simple, you and Kaz would entertain Berezin while Wylan posed as a servant and slipped into Berezin's office. Wylan would swipe the key to Berezins safe which sat in his warehouse; it was old and Ravkan, protected by small science. You didn’t have enough time on the first job to try and crack it, so now was the perfect time. The original plan was for you and Kaz to stay all through dinner and whatever other pleasantries were to be had, while Wylan snuck through undetected. His Green fire beacon was a sign he had been caught, so you and Kaz hightailed out before things got too nasty. 

 Inej and Jesper were on their way to the safe now, while you, Kaz, Matthias and Wylan drew attention in the opposite direction. Headed towards 4th Harbor meant the four of you could lead the following guards and Stadwatch into the twisting streets and narrow wharves and hopefully escape into the crowd. 

As Matthias moored the boat to the side of the canal, you and Wylan climbed out and surveyed where you were. 

“Are you alright?” You asked him, still aware of how his hands shook. 

Wylan nodded, but you were unconvinced. 

Matthias and Kaz climbed out of the boat after you, the four of you standing at the canal edge for a moment while you tried to compose yourselves. 

“Hey! Stop right there!” 

“Bastards,” Kaz swore, already ushering the three of you to run before they started to shoot. 

“Kaz, they're after us, not Wylan and Matthias…” You shouted as you ran down the street alongside the canal, headed towards the Council of the Tides Watchtower. 

Kaz ordered everyone to stop, “Y/N’s right, Wylan, Matthias, head back towards the slat, take the long way and check for tails, we’ll go the opposite way.” 

Matthias started to argue, “No, we should-” 

You all ducked as gunfire echoed through the streets. Bullets ricochet off the cobbles at your feet, dangerously close to hitting one of you. 

“Go!” Kaz yelled over the noise, blindly reaching for your hand and pulling you along with him as you headed away from Matthias and Wylan and towards the government district. 

You were right, the three or four guards from Berezin's estate followed you, not your friends as you rushed through the dark streets. At this time of the night, the Crow Club and the surrounding area would be buzzing with life, but in this part of town, everyone was shut inside asleep. There weren’t many lights, aside from a few lanterns left on in people's doorways, so as you and Kaz ran you stuck to shadows and unlit alleyways, hoping to lose your stalkers in the maze of buildings. 

Kaz pulled you to a stop after running for ten minutes and started to take a toll on him and his leg. The two of you ducked into an alley, Kaz leaned heavily against the wall and his cane, heaving as he regained his breath. You glanced over him, worried that he wouldn’t be able to continue for much longer. 

“Maybe we lost them,” You whispered, peaking around the corner to the main street, which was completely deserted aside from a rogue tabby. 

Kaz nodded, unable to speak a reply. You kept glancing from the main street to the end of the alley, which appeared as if it curved around and kept going. You had no idea if it was a dead end or not, but staying here was making you anxious, it was still too exposed. 

“I Have a safe house not far from here,” Kaz said, pushing off from the wall and leaning on his cane. 

“A safe house?” You replied, “In the government district?”

Kaz rolled his eyes, “You underestimate me.” 

If he hadn’t been hurt you would have pushed him away, chuckling at his comment. Instead, you opted for offering him your arm so you could walk out of the alley together, hopefully, Stadwatch who patrolled the area would think you were a couple returning home. 

The two of you walked arm and arm down a few streets, smiling pleasantly at the passing Stadwatch or the rare delegate returning to their boarding. After a few turns Kaz said you weren’t far from the safe house, which was an old apartment above a tailor.

“How did you even get an apartment above a tailor?” You teased, “Hiding a side business?”

The sound of a gun cocking stopped you both in your tracks. 

“You even twitched, I put a bullet in the girl.” 

The barrel of the gun was jammed into your back, the voice behind you ordering you both to turn with your hands up. 

The two men before you were guards for Berezin, you could tell from the crest that was pinned to their jackets. You looked around for the other two men, but they weren’t around. Hopefully, they were far away, you weren't sure if you could win a 2-1 battle tonight.

You moved to pull your flint from your pocket, you had stowed it away safely the first time you and Kaz had run for your lives tonight, now you wished you stayed holding it. Your hand slipped into the pocket of your coat, your fingertips brushed the cool material, pulling into your fist and preparing yourself to summon. You only had one chance at this. The sound of the gun firing struck you first, the deafening crack that bounced from the walls. The searing pain in your right side forced your fist open in shock, your flint clattering to the cobbles as your other hand came to cradle your side. Immediately your blood started seeping through your fingers, soaking through your coat and dripping onto the street below. You looked up at the man who shot you, just in time to see Kaz bring his cane cracking into the side of the man's face. It sent him sprawling, the force of the blow knocking him off balance. You used your opportunity to kick the second man in the shin, stunning him for long enough for Kaz to incapacitate him too. 

Kaz wound his arm around your waist, pulling you away from the two men as they groaned on the ground and dragging you up the street. 

“Just hold on a little longer,” He spoke as he led you down another side alley, “We’re almost there.”

He forced you to stop before an old door as he fiddled with the lock. The dark green paint was peeling, revealing the chipped and water-stained wood. Kaz flickered with the lock for a few seconds and the door swung open, revealing a steep staircase into the safe house. 

“You’re kidding,” You groaned, letting Kaz shuffle you into the small space as he shut and locked the door. 

“Go on then,” Kaz smirked, pushing you up the stairs. 

The two of you climbed up the stairs, silent as you struggled together. When you reached the top, Kaz opened the final door and you both tumbled through over the threshold. The safe house was less of a house and more of a safe room. Filled with crates and shadows of objects you couldn’t make out, it felt much more cramped than your room in the Slat. Kaz pulled out his bone light, casting the room in the pale green light. With the new light, you could see the space clearer. A sink in the far corner close to the only window, and a bed pushed as far from the window as possible. You stumbled over to the sink, holding yourself up on the basin as you tried to get a look in the small mirror at your wound. 

“Let me help,” Kaz ordered, pulling out a crate from the wall and forcing you to sit down. 

Kaz looked over your side, letting you know the bullet had gone straight through, but would need some stitches and to be cleaned. There was a pause where you both realized you would have to remove your coat and top so Kaz could see better. With shaky hands, you slowly unbuttoned your coat. Kaz helped you guide it off your shoulders, letting it fall out of the way. 

“You’ll have to unzip my dress,” You whispered to Kaz, hands going back to your throbbing side. 

Kaz cleared his throat, nodding and stepping around you to follow your instructions. You could feel the smooth leather of his gloves ghost over the skin on your neck as he fiddled for the zip. He couldn’t get a good grip, abandoning one of his gloves on the floor so he could hold the small tab properly. Kaz’s fingers were freezing, When he touched the skin on your back the chill seeped under your skin and into your bones. You focused all your energy on not shivering against the feeling. He gently folded the dress down, letting it fall around your hips so he could see the bullet wound clearer. It left you in your bra and skirt half of your dress, yet you didn't feel exposed. Kaz was nothing if not respectful to you and you truly felt nothing but trust for him now.

 There were no words between you as Kaz stepped to your side and crouched down. You could see him out of the corner of your eye, but he was focused solely on your wound, his brow scrunched up in a frown. 

The two of you stayed silent as Kaz worked. You handed him what he asked for, a wet rag, sutures and a needle, a bandage. When he had finally tied off the last stitch, he started to bandage your waist. By now he had abandoned his other glove to the floor too, both of them covered in your blood and useless to him. He focused on the warmth of your skin as he wrapped the bandage around your waist, making sure to wrap it a few times to ensure it was secure. When he was finished, he noticed how quiet you had gotten, staring down at the floor with slightly glazed eyes. 

“Are you alright?” Kaz’s voice came out more of a croak, just above a whisper. It pulled you from your dissociation, pulling you into the moment. You turned to look at him, The bastard of the Barrel kneeling by your side, hands stained with your blood and the most caring, almost loving look in his eyes. 

You must have lost more blood than you thought, Kaz did not love you. 

“I’m fine.” 

Kaz nodded once, shakingly pushing himself off the ground and turning on the water to wash clean his hands. You didn’t move from the crate, mostly because you were unsure of what to do and also because there wasn’t exactly space to move in the room anyway. 

“You should sleep.” Kaz said, refusing to look up at you from the sink. 

“We both should. You can take the bed.” 

Kaz shook his head, “No. You're injured, you take it.” 

You rolled your eyes, “Did you sleep last night Kaz?” 

There was a heavy silence. 

“So you need to sleep now. There's plenty of room for both of us anyway.” 

You knew as soon as you said it the atmosphere had changed. It was well known Kaz kept his distance when he wasn’t wearing gloves. You had rarely seen him without them no matter where he was. After the longest silence, Kaz finally nodded, letting out the quietest, “Okay.” 

He turned to you, “There should be a stash of clothes in one of these crates, I could find them?” 

You smiled, nodding. Sitting with the top of your dress folded down was starting to get cold and sleeping like this would only make things more awkward. 

Kaz riffled through a few crates, finding ammo and whiskey before finding the crate filled with shirts and trousers. He pulled one of each out, setting them on the bed and turning his back so that you could get changed with some semblance of modesty. It was amusing for you, that he had already seen enough but he was too kind to even risk a glance now. 

When you had gotten into the clothes, with a little struggle trying to lift your arm into the sleeve, you pulled back the quilt on the bed. Kaz helped, letting you shuffle across the bed to where it pressed to the wall. The bed was so much bigger than your one, more likely double the size. Your bed hardly fits you in it, slightly too short and skinny because of the awkward rooms of the Slat. This bed was different. Although not as soft as your own, the size meant you and Kaz both had enough room so that you weren’t too close. 

Kaz was about to lie the quilt down and get on top when you stopped him. 

“Are you mad?” 

“What?” He scoffed, confused as to why you were heckling him now.

“Kaz Brekker, you will get cold. Just get under the quilt and stop acting like we’re some teenagers who can’t get ahold of ourselves.” 

Kaz stared at you in shock, blinking down at you with pure perplexion in his eyes. 

“Jesper was right,” He sighed, getting situated under the quilt to please you. 

“Right about what?” You pressed, turning in the bed to fix him with a glare. 

“You are cranky when you're tired.” 

“Oh shut up,” You scoffed, rolling back to stare at the ceiling and now him. 

Kaz chuckled, by now the bone light was fading steadily, the pale green light becoming nothing more than a faint glow from the corner of the room. You couldn’t see Kaz���s face too well, barrel able to make out the faint outline of his features in the dark. 

For a while, the two of you lay in silence, the only noise coming from the far-off sound of waves in the harbor. With no one else on the streets, every time footsteps echoed around in the streets below, you held your breath. 

“They won’t find us,” Kaz whispered, feeling you tense next to him. 

You didn’t respond, trying not to panic yourself further. 

“Listen to me,” Kaz shifted, the bed shaking slightly under you both, “We’re safe here, I won’t let anything happen to you, not again.” 

“Wasn’t your fault,” You responded, mirroring Kaz’s movements to face him, “Jobs go wrong sometimes.” 

Kaz didn’t react, “Sleep. We’ll head back to the salt when the city wakes up.” 

You wouldn’t say it out loud, but Kaz being by your side to protect you filled you with a sense of ease. You could relax back into the pillow and trust that he was going to look after you, no matter what. As you slipped into sleep, you thought dreamily about how much you cared for the bastard of the barrel, even if he didn’t share the same feelings. 

Kaz was thinking the same as he watched over you. He sat up in the bed as soon as you had fallen asleep, staring at the door in the dark, prepared for anything that might come barreling through it. He cared too much about you to let you get hurt again, especially when he was the only one around to protect you. He would never say it out loud, like you, but he would do anything to protect you from harm in the city where no one mourned. 

[1moreff-creator]

your DT x Eden's and DT x Tetro posts were so good, clearly now we need an Eden's Garden x Tetro Pink post to close the circle :V (not to pressure you or anything though, I know it's a lot to ask so soon after the last one)

I mean, clearly, it's gotta happen! Can't leave that little pair unchecked! Don't worry about pressuring me btw, I like receiving asks :)

Spoilers for P:EG CH1, TDRP CH4. CW: Murder, suicide, (referenced) sexual harassment, bullying, cheating (relationships), (referenced) alcoholism and domestic abuse, drugging (adrenaline).

Setting

The setup would be similar to the DRDT x TDRP thing: the country is a vague mix of the US and Japan, Eden's Garden Academy exists and people know what Ultimates are, but only the EG cast knows they're Ultimates when the killing game starts, etc. I'll mostly use Tetro motives not only because there's more of them, but also because Tozu doesn't seem to have any actual pre-planned motives other than the Traitor Perk (which will be a thing).

As for Confession Game, we run into an issue. Not everyone in EG has had their secret revealed, and even the ones we have can get pretty vague. I'll list all the secrets I think could end up in Confession Game, both from confirmed secrets and the characters' backstory. This list will obviously become outdated as we get more info on the EG cast, but for now:

Cassidy: "This student refuses to leave their home for any reason other than selling pastries." Canon secret.

Desmond: "This student always makes it a point to carry a weapon on their person, as there is only one person they trust." Canon secret.

Diana: "This student completely changed their personality to befriend their high school friends." I think this is only a theory but I'm going with it fuck it.

Eva: "This student was scouted by Eden's Garden Academy as the Ultimate Mathlete." Student profiles in Tetro only show up in CH4, and since Eva has no reason to even claim an Ultimate talent (the Tetro cast doesn't know they're Ultimates at the start, so she wouldn't stand out if she said she just didn't have one herself), this little detail being revealed in Confession Game makes sense.

Ingrid: "This student uses out of date cleaning supplies." Canon.

Jett: "This student is hiding burn scars from a horrible accident." Jett says he wears the suit for anonymity but I don't think most people believe him.

Mark: Depending on how literally we're meant to take his Imitation Piece, it could be related to the hospitalization shown there.

Toshiko: "This student cheated on their boyfriend in third grade." Canon.

Wenona: Something about unethical business practices, though I doubt she'd hesitate much before hitting the button.

Wolfgang: "This student holds many of the same inclinations which make them hate their father." I have no fucking idea how to actually word this what does "wolfish mind" even mean bro?

Damon, Eloise, Grace, Jean, Kai, Ulysses: I have no fucking idea what these people's secrets would be, sorry :v Let's just say they wouldn't cause much drama to avoid the issue.

Alright let's actually start now.

Researchers & Monomoko & Tozu & Mara

Monomoko would resent Tozu's theatrics, and Tozu would constantly try to get Monomoko to get into the spirit of the killing game a little more. The tension would definitely be there, but it wouldn't actually be too bad. They'd get through it.

Monomoko is, to be frank, a little scared of Mara. Mara doesn't mind it, and secretly enjoys petting it when no one's looking. Monomoko can live with that.

Dr Yonekura gets real sick of Tozu's bullshit, real quick. Tozu has to abide her orders and chill out a bit when asked, but he'd still try to sneak his theatrics in as much as he can regardless. Meanwhile, every researcher respects Mara as a professional coworker, though some are a little scared of her as well. Mara doesn't talk to them if she can help it, but she's still professional when she needs to be.

Sasaki & Wolfgang

Finally, Sasaki doesn't have to be the leader! At the start, at least. Although she'd probably still try to organize everyone up to and including the mock trial (which I'm assuming is happening because why not), once Wolfgang gets his big moment in said trial and everyone starts following his lead, Sasaki's happy to at least share the role with him.

Okazaki & Jett

Mask buddies mask buddies mask buddies. They’d bond over their shared sense of style immediately, and Jett would be seen hanging around Okazaki a lot because of this. At least at the start.

Chiba & Diana

They bond over makeup :D Diana would probably fit in pretty well with the Hama - Chiba - Harada friendship group, though I actually think she’d hang out more with the other people I’ll mention her alongside.

Chiba & Toshiko

I have genuinely no idea how this dynamic would even begin to play out, but it’s a really interesting one to consider. A big part of Chiba’s character arc is wanting to “grow up”, and the fact that Toshiko, who is three years her junior, wants to be treated the same way as her teenage classmates, would be an extra incentive for Chiba to start that arc. As for Toshiko, I think she’d just be confused and would maybe just avoid Chiba? I don’t know. I don’t have a good enough read on Toshiko for this. 

Hiroaki & Eva

The outcasts! Eva’s little speech at the end of the mock trial would be just as divisive in the combined cast than in canon EG, and Hiroaki’s own divisive personality hasn’t gone anywhere, so they’d naturally get pushed aside by the others. Although I still think Damon would be closer to Eva than Hiro, the Mathlete and Designer would still have some form of unspoken solidarity between each other. For a while.

Ojima & Damon

Damon’s whole speech at the end of the mock trial is very divisive in canon EG, and it would be even more so in front of a cast where half the members don’t know they’re Ultimates. However, there is precedent for Ojima approaching outcasts, so I think he’d at least try to form some kind of friendship. Like with the previous section, I still find it pretty likely that Eva and Damon would gravitate to each other, as well as Hiroaki and Ojima, so the Ojima - Damon connection is tenuous, but I’d say it exists. 

Ojima & Hiroaki & Diana

Ojima and Diana are both known to help the “leaders” of their respective killing games while at the same time reaching out to the outcasts, so I  think they’d end up forming some kind of bond over that, basically working together to reach their goals. And since Hiroaki would be interested in Diana’s talent (fashion buddies!), they could end up becoming a pretty odd little friend group, but a surprisingly wholesome one at that. 

Yanagi & Ingrid & Toshiko

Of all the women in the EG cast, none would be more receptive of Yanagi’s behavior than Toshiko. Not in a romantic way (Yanagi would probably need to clarify that to someone at some point), but in the “treated like a ‘proper lady’” kind of way. They’re both relatively traditional people, so they’d mesh pretty well, and Toshiko would probably enjoy the whole “princess” thing. As an immediate result, Ingrid would end up liking Yanagi. I think she’d find him “adorable”, and while she’d repeatedly tell him she doesn’t need protection herself, she wouldn’t mind too much because she just wouldn’t take Yanagi very seriously in general. Another odd but weirdly wholesome friend group!

Kamimura & Mark & Desmond

I actually think Kami would like these two well enough, given they have a fair amount of common sense. Mark even has a relatively similar attitude to Kami in a lot of aspects. That said, since Desmond usually spends time alone with Eloise, and Jett is usually seen around Mark, Kami would still probably end up hanging out with Hasegawa a lot.

Okazaki & Ingrid

I don’t actually know how willing Okazaki would actually be with revealing her gender identity if the topic actually comes up, but on the off chance that she’s willing to…

Ingrid: Strangers’ll usually be more comfortable spending the night with the same gender.  Okazaki: Does that mean no one will be comfortable with me?  Ingrid: Huh? Oka: I go by any pronouns. I don’t think anyone here shares that. Unless I’m wrong…? Ingrid: Oh. Hiroaki: Well, I don’t think anyone’s gonna be comfortable with you, but your gender has nothing to do with it.  Oka: I pick Hiroaki.  Hiro: Ah! Takeshi! Okazaki ended up rooming with Watari.

First Motive: Hasegawa & Ulysses

The first motive would be just as much of a problem to Ulysses as it was for DRDT Rose. My guy’s always two seconds away from falling asleep, so he needs some way to stay awake through the bullshit. The solution? Whenever Ulysses is struggling, have Hasegawa talk with him about increasingly specific historical facts. Hasegawa would probably enjoy the conversations enough to keep them up for long enough to return a bit of energy to Ulysses. Kamimura is sometimes there, but he usually needs to leave before their conversations put him to sleep.

-----

Confession Game

Alright time for this.

Harada

Toshiko would take a professional interest in his secret. If she can study Harada’s incredible Game, she might be able to better advise her clients on how to seduce women. She’d occasionally look at him and write something down in a little notepad. No one knows what notes she’s actually taking, and she’s quite secretive about them. In reality, they’re nothing special, though they include a few more tigers than her regular dating advice usually has.

Hayashi

Always a bit of a bombshell secret, but I think like the Tetro cast, the EG cast would be able to move past it relatively quickly. Except Wolfgang, who is really passionate about murderers. He’d probably ask a few questions when the reveal happens, trying to determine exactly what happened. The question here becomes whether Hayashi would end up spilling the whole backstory she gives in Bruise, in which case Wolfgang would probably be willing to support her, or if she just gives enough details to get him to back off without telling the full story. I find the latter more likely.

Tamba

Tamba’s secret would greatly annoy people like Grace or Damon or even Desmond, who think working hard for your talent is of great importance. A lot of Tamba’s relationships would suffer because of that, even if she has moved past hurting her competition.

Yanagi

Assuming a few things about Wolfgang’s past here, it’s very possible he’d relate to Yanagi on his “family ruined by alcoholism and domestic abuse” secret. Hell, the secret might have to be reworded so it only applies to Yanagi instead of applying to Wolfgang too. I don’t think they’d talk about it much, but they could have at least one discussion or two about it.

The Other Horrifying Ones

The EG cast would probably handle the other pretty disturbing secrets (Kamimura’s, Chiba’s, Isono’s, Sasaki’s, Ojima’s, etc.) similarly to how the Tetro cast handled them. Which is to say, moving on quickly because the person in question doesn’t want to talk about it much. 

Cassidy

This would probably create at least one interesting conversation with Isono, who would discuss her agoraphobia with Cassidy. I don’t think it’d go too far, but Cassidy and Isono would probably grow closer because of it.

Diana

I think most people would just kinda ignore this. Wolfgang, for example, would insist that how Diana came to be the way she is doesn’t matter, what matters is that she treats others with extreme kindness and compassion, and that’s enough for her to be a good person. Basically working his magic as a defense lawyer there. But it would make Eva even less receptive to her kindness than in canon, and Damon might trust her even less. I could also see some of the Tetro cast, such as Kamimura, eyeing her with suspicion for a while, but he would eventually let it go.

Eva

Sasaki and Hasegawa don’t understand why “Mathlete” is considered less socially acceptable than “Influencer.” Yanagi, Tsuno and Isono would try to defend Eva from bullying. Harada would be uncomfortable with the people making fun of her because of his past. Hama would tell her that hiding it was stupid because, quote the man, “math is badass.” In fact, with so many people in Tetro being either too nerdy or too nice to insult Eva, it’s possible the majority opinion would switch to “Mathlete is a perfectly fine talent why the hell did you hide it.” Especially since the "Ultimate Liar" title would have never been in the conversation. Unfortunately Eva is still not good at receiving kindness and thus would still end up falling into her “me vs them” mentality.

Ingrid

Kamimura would be on her ass about this. He’d start ranting about all the issues with using out of date cleaning supplies, with enough rage that he has to actively hold himself back lest his heart rate spike into cataplexy territory. He’d probably end up joining the clothes washing squad just to make sure Ingrid isn’t using anything out of date. 

Toshiko

Yanagi would feel conflicted about the thing at first, but like everyone else, he’d eventually let it go because Toshiko was, like, 9. 

Wolfgang

Since this one’s a comment on his personality, it’s easy to dispute as inaccurate or misrepresentative. Sasaki, for example, would use the same defense Wolfgang gave of Diana; it doesn’t matter what the masterminds say, only the way Wolfgang treats the others, and he’s been very nice (relatively speaking). Diana, Isono, Tsuno, Ingrid, Toshiko, Grace, Cassidy, Jett, Jean, Harada, Hama, Chiba, Watari, all would vocally voice their support of wolf boy. 

-----

Wada & Tsuno & Isono & Diana

The Wada Fanclub grows… yeah that’s it Diana would join the Wada fanclub post Confession Game, and it's probably the group she'd spend the most time around. 

Eva & Everyone

Since the Traitor Perk’s still a thing, and it was a thing that was kinda targeted at Eva, she’s still likely to be the CH1 killer, and I still think Wolfgang is the likeliest to be her victim. Her murder would come before anyone snapping, though it would probably require a different setup since knocking Wolfgang out might set off the motive alarm. In any case, a bunch more people than Diana would have tried reaching out to Eva at that point (Isono, Tsuno, Hama, Hasegawa, etc.), which would make her claim that everyone hated her even weaker than in canon, but it still applies. Lots of sadness over both of them.

Diana & Tsuno

Diana’s whole chameleon speech at the end of trial 1 wasn’t all that well received in the EG cast, but it’s the kinda shit that’s right up Tsuno’s alley. Tsuno would probably join her, even. With such incredibly earnest enthusiasm, she’d be an incredible partner to the Ever-Present Arm of Justice! 

Surely becoming Tsuno’s unofficial sidekick won’t cause issues with any Mask Artisans around!

Hiroaki & Grace

Look, we have a problem. With EG only being up to CH1, we’ve yet to truly see how deep its cast’s insanity goes. As a result, it’s hard to imagine how they’d act moving forward, which makes it hard for me to think of plot points that aren’t just “Tetro, but again.” However, I need to come up with something, so allow me some creative liberty with these guys’ decision-making.

Let’s say Eva’s murder happens before the reward swap. That means Hiroaki doesn’t read Sasaki’s diaries, meaning Yanagi doesn’t have reason to get mad at him… beyond the usual anyways. However, adrenaline motive is still a thing, and Hiroaki’s still Hiroaki. And, we have precedent from the prologue of Grace sometimes being physically violent. 

This is all to say that in this AU, Ice Fairy happens with Grace replacing Yanagi. Hiroaki makes an insensitive comment about Wolfgang, and hopped up on adrenaline, Grace beats the shit out of him. You can also replace Hiroaki with Damon if you want, they’re both pretty likely to say the wrong thing. 

Hayashi & Grace

Naturally, as per the Tetro standard, that means Grace gets locked up somewhere. She’s gonna be real pissed about it, but it’s gonna happen. Hayashi, Hama, Ingrid, Jean, all are gonna have to be on constant lookout because, unlike Yanagi, this one bites (metaphorically). It would probably drive her insane, and I’m not sure she’s actually going to chill ever. She’d pretend to be more relaxed so she can get out, but inside she’d still be seething with rage.

Tsuno & Jean

Jean strikes me as the type who might have pre-existing medical training. Even if he doesn’t, though, I think he’d be ready to help out Tsuno in the Infirmary once people like Hiroaki/Damon start getting injured. Tsuno is in less danger of burning out thanks to this.

Chiba & Ingrid

Remember the thing about Chiba wanting to grow up? Yeah that happens in CH2. Instead of going to Hayashi, though, she’d go to Ingrid, who acts just as grown up as Hayashi but is even older than her. This means the advice she receives is significantly better, and she might not even have the issues with Hama that she had in canon. 

Harada & Ingrid

Assuming there’s still a gym vent equivalent, I think the second murder might still be adrenaline induced Sawa violence on Chiba. The issues of not having much EG content yet. In any case, that would make Ingrid very conflicted, as Harada is nice, but she feels real sad about Chiba, too. 

Okazaki & Diana

Once Okazaki starts bullying Wada, the Wada Fanclub jumps into action. And that includes Diana. However, unlike Tsuno or Isono, who would unconditionally take Wada’s side, Diana would try to somehow extend some kind of olive branch to Okazaki. She’d tell Oka that bullying Wada is wrong, but she’d also try to ask her why she does it and try to negotiate with her or something. 

Unfortunately, this may mean Okazaki would decide Diana could also be an easy target, and start bullying her as well. Boiling Point would still have Oka beating up Wada (Diana is physically stronger, after all), but that doesn’t mean Diana is safe.

Okazaki & Everyone

Oka would still kill Kamimura (cataplexy was part of the method), though the second victim can be Tsuno or Isono or Diana at discretion. Nevertheless, the crashout at the end of Trial 3 would still be just as legendary as ever. You know how the Tetro cast reacted, but as for the EG cast; Diana is upset and still sad Oka’s dying despite what she did, Wolfgang (if he’s somehow alive) would be losing his fucking mind and yelling at Oka, Wenona and Mark are just kind of frowning and demanding the vote start already alongside Damon and some of the Tetro cast, Ingrid is trying to cover Toshiko’s ears while Toshiko is fighting with all her might not to mentally write Tsuno x Oka enemies to lovers fanfic, Ulysses can’t figure out what exactly to write in his book to properly convey the extent of the Bullshit he’s seeing, Cassidy shouted “it’s just like Persona!” at the exact same time Wada did, Jean is holding back Grace so she doesn’t go up to Okazaki to beat her ass, etc.

At the end, Oka gives a few final words to her mask buddy Jett, which he cries about even if he’s really upset at her, then she says the “I’ll follow your flame” line and now Toshiko has to stop herself from mentally writing Watari x Oka fanfic, and finally execution. 

This marks the end of the plot points I’ll make for this AU, so we’re going on to general dynamics!

Isono & Kai & Cassidy

Influencer squad! Although Cassidy and Kai haven’t interacted much in canon, I can see these three having some interesting interactions in regards to the whole social media thing. I already mentioned Isono and Cassidy discussing never leaving their houses, but Isono might still be able to strike some conversations with Kai about a couple of things. Also, you know that thing where Isono went to Hasegawa’s room and basically implied she wanted to be his girlfriend? I don’t think we ever got explicit confirmation on what that was about, or even if she had genuine romantic interest on Hase or not (I could be wrong on this btw), but I could see her trying that thing with Kai instead. Maybe.

Ojima & Eloise & Desmond

I think Ojima would get along well enough with those two! Eloise and Desmond would probably avoid Hiroaki, so Ojima wouldn’t end up hanging out with them too much, but they’d still enjoy some quiet time together from time to time. 

Watari & Cassidy & Jett

Basically, Cassidy and Jett’s little friendship probably has Watari in there too. All high energy, very positive people, they’d obviously get along. In fact, Cass and Jett would probably be offered positions on the school staff, and they’d readily accept for the Silliness of it. Jett especially would love to hang out more with his animal mask buddy Okazaki, at least until Oka starts her crashout arc. 

Sasaki & Jean

Both of their talents are related to leadership, and unlike Wenona, they’re both social enough to talk about it! Well, if Sasaki ever finds out what her talent is meant to be, anyways. Jean might have some sage advice about not overworking and delegating tasks to avoid stressing out too much. I imagine it’d be Jean approaching Sasaki about it, since Sasaki’s past with adult male authority figures is not particularly pleasant. In fact, I could even imagine her being a bit uncomfortable around Jean if he approaches her out of nowhere, though hiding it out of civility. Even if that’s the case, though, I can imagine her trusting him not to do anything weird eventually, it’d just take a while. 

Hasegawa & Wenona

Hasegawa: … Wenona: … Hase: C-Can I help you? Wenona: I’m trying to figure out which one of us is richer, and it’s annoying that I can’t tell. Hase: … ???

Hasegawa & Cassidy

Cassidy: Hey, my dude! Look, I heard something a little weird about you, and I wanted to, y’know, confirm if it was fake or not! Hasegawa: O-Oh, uhm… Alright, w-what is it? Cassidy: Are you really, like, a billionaire? Hase: O-Oh! Uh, y-yeah. I’ve, uh… I’ve won a lot of money, o-on gameshows.  Cassidy: … Hase: … Wh-Why are you looking at me like that? Cassidy: Bourgeoisie scum!!! Hase: ?!?!?!

Hama & Wada & Ulysses

Although Ulysses wouldn’t particularly want to read the books that Hama and Wada both enjoy in canon, the fact that he has, in fact, read every book in a library once would come up when the book club forms. Wada and Hama are impressed. In Hama’s words, “that’s badass.” 

Tamba & Watari & Yanagi & Toshiko & Ingrid

Hey guess who joins the whole “princess” dress up scene? Yep, Toshiko! Again, she enjoys being treated like a lady, so she’d appreciate it. Ingrid’s there because the whole thing is so damn cute, she just can’t help it!

Yanagi & Kamimura & Ingrid

Yanagi gets called into laundry duty because of his suit, but Kamimura ends up being the most competent person in the clothes washing squad, no contest. Hasegawa gets dragged into the event too as a result of Kami being there.

-

And I’m calling it there! Hope it was enjoyable enough! Thanks for the asks! 

[deadgirlwalking91]

new update - 'thank you for the venom', chapter 3: 'a killing spree through eternity, the devil stabs you in the back'

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter 3 Summary

A minor training accident lands Adam in hot water with Sera.

Author's note:

I have a confession to make - I lied. At the end of the last chapter, I teased we'd hear the first time we'd hear Adam call Lute 'Dangertits'. I grossly underestimated how long this chapter would be, so you'll have to wait until next time for Lute's nickname. It's worth it, I promise! To everybody who has read, liked, commented, reblogged - thank you so very much!!! I hope you're enjoying reading about these two as much as I am writing them <3

Slight content warning - this chapter is Adam-centric, so expect plenty of swearing and mention of sexual activity.

***

Sera’s Office, Exorcist Training Centre, Heaven

Adam hated waiting outside the door of Sera’s office. It usually meant one thing, and one thing only: he was in trouble.

Leaning against the wall, he turned his head and pressed the side of his helmet to the cool surface that separated him from the two occupants inside the room. Holding his breath, he remained still, trying to eavesdrop on the conversation he had been excluded from. If only he could catch a word or two, he could give himself something to work with when he was inevitably summoned before Sera to plead his case.

Shit.

Exhaling in frustration, he located his phone in the pocket of his robes, unlocked it and opened his favourite dating app. A fond smile tugged at the corner of his mouth at the sight of the first profile he came across. Ah, Layla. A gorgeous brunette Exorcist, her beauty would have rendered most angels speechless as they madly tapped on her photo, hoping for a chance to connect with her.

Not Adam, however. Well, not this time, anyway.

Fucked her - twice. Swipe.

Boring. Swipe.

Into pegging a little too often for my liking. Swipe.

Ugh. The same babes, same bodies, same personalities that he’d become so familiar with over the years. It almost felt like they were all beginning to morph into the same woman, into one collective being. It didn’t matter anymore what their name was or where they came from – there was no discernible difference between any of them.

Not that they were aware he felt like that, of course. After all, he was the First Man, the Original Dick. His title alone granted him an untouchable celebrity status of sorts in Heaven – women literally threw themselves at his feet daily. As a man with needs, this suited him just fine. After an introduction, the roadmap to his bed was simple, almost formulaic: he’d flatter them, then back it up with some light flirting – never too heavy, or else they’d get the wrong idea. He was after a good time, not a long time. After the usual small talk, he’d flippantly mention something about not wanting to go home lonely, and his new lady friend would be only too obliging to accompany him not only to his home, but to his bedroom too. His method was foolproof, to say the least.

And yet, if he was perfectly honest with himself, it was also a little…boring. Sure, the women he bedded were hot, their personalities were…fine, and the sex perfectly enjoyable, but they were all totally predictable. Lately, Adam found himself craving something new, something challenging and… dare he say it, chaotic.

Too bad Heaven was as far from chaotic as realms came.

He sighed and shoved the phone back into his robes. Oh well. Better luck next time, maybe.

An abrupt scraping sound suddenly caught his attention, a tell-tale sign that the conversation inside Sera’s office was finally coming to an end.

About fucking time.

The door to his right creaked open, and without looking he knew exactly who was about to walk in the hall where he stood. He could practically feel the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end as he felt the hall grow colder with her nearing presence.

Lute.

The bane of his existence. A permanent thorn in his side, if you will. He was sure she’d be the eventual death of him – and given her penchant for bloody theatrics, it would be a drawn-out, brutal, excruciating demise that would have him painfully suffering until he drew his very last breath.

Well, if angels could die, anyhow. Unluckily for him, they couldn’t, which meant he was stuck with the she-devil as his second-in-command for God-knows how long. For-fucking-ever, probably.

Play it cool, dude. Just ignore her. Don’t -

“Have fun running off and telling Sera about our little incident today, Lieutenant?” he found himself blurting out, against his better judgement. “Though, I’m not surprised – coming to me first like an adult isn’t really your style, is it?”

Lute didn’t bother acknowledging his question, opting instead to salute him with a stiff middle finger over her shoulder, her other hand supporting her lower back as she walked gingerly down the hall. Adam couldn’t help but notice the slightly unnatural way her right hip rose and fell with each step that she took. Satisfied at the sight of her vulnerability, he smirked to himself as he watched her limp out of sight.

Bye, bitch.

“Adam, can you come in here please?” Sera called, interrupting his joy at relishing in his lieutenant’s injury. Anticipating the lecture he was about to endure, he rolled his eyes and strolled into Sera’s office, shutting the door behind him.

“Heyyyyy, boss-lady,” he chirped, scooting into one of Sera’s sterile office chairs. Knowing he’d have to kiss some serious ass to come out of the conversation unscathed, he took his helmet off, shaking his thick, brown hair out of his eyes, before setting it down on the adjacent chair. He never took his mask off for anybody. Ever. In fact, only Sera knew what he looked like underneath it – and that’s only because she���d been around for as long as he had.

Without fail, the women he took home would beg and plead for him to remove it during more intimate moments, but he’d gently chuckle and deflect the conversation.

‘Babe, that’s what makes this so hot, am I right? The mystery of it all? Wondering what the First Man really looks like as he fucks you?’

The line worked, every time.

Still, perhaps showing some vulnerability might win him some brownie points with his boss. “How’s my favourite Seraphim?  Busy day?” He flashed her a rare, charming smile, his golden irises twinkling, charisma oozing from every inch of his body.

“Adam,” Sera ignored his greeting completely, her interlocked fingers supporting her chin as she glared at the man opposite her. “Can you tell me about what happened in your training session just now?”

Adam’s smile faltered, and he knew by her matter-of-fact tone and pointed look that his suspicions were confirmed: he was in Trouble with a capital T. Fucking Lute, running off to tell Sera about their minor mishap. This conversation was going to be a real uphill battle if he had any chance of coming out the other end unscathed.

“Mmm, not really, no.”

“Would you like to try answering me again?”

“Ser-aaaaaaa.” Adam groaned and rubbed his face with his hands. Fuck it, he had no hope of escaping without some form of reprimand. May as well drop the act. “Why are you pulling my dick about this? It was just a little accident.”

“Your lieutenant doesn’t seem to think it was an accident.”

“Yeah, well, my lieutenant can go and get fuc-”

“Adam.”

He groaned and threw his head back, the nape of his neck resting atop the frame of the chair. “What do you want from me, Sera?” He squinted up into the fluorescent lamp directly above him, attempting to distract himself from the conversation at hand.

Ah, that’s bright as fuck.

“I want you to tell me what happened this afternoon.”

“Why? So you can lecture me on how I’ve supposedly fucked up – even though this was her fault - and then punish me by making me apologise to her? Nah, I’m good thanks, boss.” Blinking rapidly to rid himself of the dark spots that danced across his vision, he sat upwards again and crossed his arms, glaring at his superior.

Sera rubbed her temples, a tell-tale sign that a dull ache was beginning behind her eyes. Not an unusual thing to happen when she was in Adam’s presence.

“Adam, please. Lute can barely walk, she’s in that much pain.”

“I saw her walk out of here just fine, she’s putting it on. Come to think of it, she would be the kind to fake it.”

To his surprise, the word ‘fake’ stirred up a recent memory; one he thought he’d filed away. It was from when Lute had unveiled the new training plan to the Exorcists. More specifically, the sound Lute had made as she massaged her head after removing her helmet. A throaty ‘mmm’ totally unlike a noise he’d ever heard her make before as she’d closed her eyes, tilted her head back and arched her spine, clearly enjoying the satisfaction the feeling gave her.

‘That sound she’d made that day wasn’t fake though, was it?’, an unfamiliar voice in his mind questioned tauntingly, sending cool shivers down the back of his neck. ‘What if you could make her moan again like that? ’

What the fuck was that?!

Adam shook his head, pushing the unexpected image out of his mind. Whatever that was, it was fucking weird, and unwelcome and wrong and…and…

“I’m not going to ask you again. Please stop with the petty name calling and tell me what happened. Now.” Sera sat back in her chair, arms folded, waiting for him to fill in the gaps of the story Lute had told her moments earlier. Welcoming the rescue from his overactive imagination, Adam wearily eyed the faint outline of many ethereal eyes beginning to etch over Sera’s body. It wasn’t often that she lost her composure, but when she did her usually calm demeanour turned from ‘mildly annoying authoritative figure’ to ‘downright frightening, head-bitch-in-charge’.

“Alright, alright, fine. Jesus Sera, put your weird-ass eyes away, you know they scare the shit out of me.”

“I would have thought after thousands of years, you’d be used to them.” Sera motioned with her hands for Adam to begin before settling them back underneath her chin, her extra eyes fading back into her hair and clothes until there was no trace of them left. He ran a hand through his hair and exhaled deeply, glancing out the window, searching desperately for something else to focus on. He’d hoped for a distraction, but the quiet streets below failed to give him inspiration for a reprieve from his inevitable interrogation.

“You’re really gonna make me do this, aren’t you?” he scowled. Sera simply raised her eyebrows in response. “Fine, today was the first day the girls were allowed to start sparring with one another. No weapons or anything badass like that, just hand-to-hand combat. Like a shitty version of a catfight.”

“Why do you think it’s taken six weeks for that to happen?”

“Um,” Adam ruffled his hair again. “She didn’t think –”

“She has a name, Adam.”

“Fucking seriously, Sera?!” he exclaimed. “You know who I’m talking about!”

“I do, but if you’re going to move forward from this incident – and I’d think about this very carefully, Adam - you need to start to refer to Lute by name.”

“Ugh, fine.” Adam rolled his eyes. He usually found great entertainment in pushing the boundaries with other people’s patience, but Sera was one of the few people with the capacity to genuinely terrify him.

Plus being unmasked meant he was without his usual layer of defence.

Focus, Dickmaster.

“So for the past six weeks, Lute – happy now? - has been getting the girls to focus on improving their physical strength. Y’know, lifting weights, high intensity exercise, yada yada yada. Said she didn’t think they were ready to move forward until she saw they were fitter – mind you, I’ve always thought they were pretty fit myself, if you know what I mean.”

“Do you think they’ve improved?”

“Mmm…” Adam rubbed his chin, considering her question, shadowy stubble prickling his hand. “Look, they can run for longer periods of time, I guess? And she – Lute – isn’t dishing out as many burpees as punishment as she used to, so I s’pose they’ve also stopped fucking around as much during training. Anyway, this afternoon Lute got the girls to pair up and she forgot she needed a partner to demonstrate the manoeuvre on. ‘Coz there were uneven numbers, I was the sucker who ended up as her training dummy.

“So she starts telling the girls that if they find themselves alone and unarmed in Hell – which, can I just say, wouldn’t fucking happen under my watch - they need to know how to knock those demon cunts out – ”

“Her colourful language or yours?” Sera grimaced in disapproval at Adam’s word choice.

“Mine. Although I’m not sure if you’re aware, Sera, but your little pet project has the filthiest mouth –”

“Back to the point, Adam.”

‘She would be filthy, wouldn’t she? Bet she fucks nasty.’ That smug voice in the back of his mind whispered again tauntingly. Adam groaned.

“Shut up,” he muttered under his breath.

“What was that?”

“U-uh, n-nothing. Anyways - you interrupted me, remember, boss.” Adam waved a hand dismissively, recovering quickly from his outburst. “Lute tells them they need to know how to render a demon unconscious by beating the shit outta them so they can call another Exorcist for backup or escape the situation. Then, she has the fucking nerve to grab me and say, ‘allow me to demonstrate’!” He folded his arms. “She shows them where on the body to strike – can’t remember all of them, but I do remember one.” The corners of his eyes crinkled as he winced. “The groin.”

“The groin,” Sera echoed.

“There was no way in Hell I was letting her get her hands on this,” Much to Sera’s horror - but not surprise - Adam gestured towards his crotch in a downwards motion with both hands, spreading his legs apart for full effect. “Literally the goods that created all of humanity, and you think I’m going to let some tiny, psycho murder machine get her vicious hands on them? Not a fucking chance! Anyways, before she got the chance to manhandle me, I got to her first.” He crossed his arms again defiantly. “I tackled that bitch to the ground.”

“Adam…” Sera groaned, putting her face in her hands, her feathery, grey hair spilling around her face onto her pristine desk. “You do realise she wasn’t going to actually hit you, don’t you?”

“Sera, have you seen her in action? Like I know you’ve read all her boring reports and shit so you know her stats and whatever, but have you actually watched her tear a demon limb-from-limb? She’s like one of those animals that plays with their prey for fun before finally putting them out of their misery and killing them. She’s a bloodthirsty motherfucker. Tackling her - it was practically self-defence!”

“Self-defence is when you protect yourself after somebody attacks you first, Adam. Did she hit you at all before you decided to tackle her?”

“Well… no.” Adam admitted, fiddling with the sleeve of his robe. “I just have her figured out, and knew she would have used me as her personal punching bag.”

“Adam, I’m going to cut to the chase and be honest with you here.” An amber glow from the late afternoon sun now trickled into the room, and as Sera stood, drawing herself up to her full height, Adam couldn’t help but notice the reflection of the light flicker in her eyes. Creepy. “You need to figure out a way to work peacefully alongside your lieutenant. Fast.”

He eyed her wearily. “Why?”

What’s going on?

Sera narrowed her brows “I feel that over the years I’ve made it quite clear that I feel deeply conflicted about the yearly exterminations. Yes, it helps reduce the overpopulation problem in Hell, but given the falling numbers in recent years I can only conclude that your focus has shifted. When you pitched the idea to me, I was under the impression that it was a genuine attempt at population control. Now, it seems that it has become an excuse for you and the Exorcists to take a field trip to Hell once a year and slaughter demons for a little bit of fun. Then, when you return to Heaven, you throw a great, big, raging party and all you do for the next year is show up to work, until the next Extermination, where the cycle repeats.”

“O-kay… great story and all, but what’s that got to do with me getting along with Lute?”

“Everything. Lute’s training regime has been designed to dramatically improve stats, get back to basics and ensure we get the job done properly. If her plan is successful, and we bring Hell’s population back under control, I won’t have such a moral conflict with your yearly excursion because we’d be succeeding in what you initially proposed to do. If not…” She stared out the window, golden sunlight now illuminating her entire face in an eerie glow. “Then this upcoming Extermination Day will be the last. Which circles back to my point, Adam.” She looked him dead in the eye, holding his gaze. “If I cancel Extermination Day, you no longer have a job. Something to keep you occupied on a day-to-day basis. And I know you don’t do well with boredom.”HeH

Adam’s cheeks puffed as he exhaled deeply. Breaking eye contact with Sera, he ran a hand through his hair again. She was fucking strong-arming him. Either work with the most infuriating angel known to existence – well, second to Lucifer, or lose his job, the one stable, constant thing he’d had in his life for eons. The very job that he, up until mere moments ago, had been under the impression he’d been doing perfectly competently.

Turns out, he was a big, fat fucking failure and the future of said job rested on the tiny shoulders of his least favourite being in Heaven.

Fuuuuuuuuuuuck.

“Yeah, wow.” He muttered darkly, feeling his cheeks grow warmer with anger. “Cool. Way to make a guy feel valued after centuries – actually, no, millenniaof dedication, Sera.” The familiar sound of scraping metal filled the room as he signalled the end of the meeting. He reached down and grabbed his helmet, jamming it over his head and obscuring his face from view. Despite the electronic display, he felt a sense of relief that he now hid his glowering face from the view of his boss. “Does she know about this?”

“No. I’m not putting that pressure on her, she’s under enough stress as it is. I’d appreciate it if you didn’t mention this to her.” Her direct tone implied the matter wasn’t up for negotiation, either.

“Right. So you’re worried about stressing her out, but you’re happy to pull the rug out from under my feet. Got it.” He let out a hollow laugh. Fuck, he’d really slipped down the pecking order in a short matter of weeks. All because of that infuriating, antagonistic, mouthy little bitch.

“This isn’t a decision I’ve made lightly, Adam,” Sera said gently, “In fac –”

“Forgive me,” he interrupted coldly, “For saying that I don’t really give a shit how you’ve made the decision. You’re not fucking forcing me out of a job, if it’s the last thing I do.” The yellow eyes of his mask paused to glare at her, wanting her to meet his eye. Needing her to understand that he wasn’t going to take this shit lying down. He was fucking Adam, for Christ’s sake. Didn’t that count for anything anymore?

She didn’t even have the decency to look him in the eye, instead choosing to gaze at a spot somewhere above his left shoulder, her features set in a blank poker face. He scoffed, shaking his head in disgust.

Pathetic.

“I’m out. See ya.” Turning his back, Adam strode quickly towards the office door, desperate to put as much distance between himself and his boss as possible before the shock of the situation wore off and the rage kicked in.

“Where are you going?” Sera called, worry evident in her voice. Adam paused as he pushed the door open, the handle clattering slightly as he tried to suppress the anger that was beginning to radiate through his body like the fire of a thousand suns.

“To find my fucking lieutenant and get her to play nice.”

***

Next time: we really do find out how Lute earned the nickname 'Dangertits'. She should also really remember the importance of locking her door...

[what-if-i-just-did]

Guilt & Revenge: Trust Issues

Whumptober Day 2: Trust Issues

Guilt & Revenge Masterlist

Wa I'm so excited to introduce ya'll to Noah-Elise!! Honestly she's so stubborn she just decided to be the caretaker in a story that wasn't supposed to have one but I'm just gonna sit back and see where she's taking this.

(I've literally made moodboards for every room in her apartment and I have a floorplan of it help)

TWs: Recovery after years of torture, anxiety, fear of breaking rules, mentions of food, blood, lack of clothing options, being deadnamed, getting startled by a slammed door, tears, having a bath, cells, and being really skinny

Amber hesitantly looked around the part of the apartment he could see. It wasn’t that big, but it was decent, considering they were in NYC. It was much bigger than the cell. 

The colours in the living room, where they were standing, were all tints of cream and gray and brown and natural greens, all very homey and comfortable. Still, it set his nerves alight. Noah-Elise was wearing a baby blue dress with a black corset, neon blue and black striped thigh-high socks, a lot of gothic jewelry, and a dark blue flannel. It had been a while since he’d seen anyone in alternative clothes. It was weird, remembering how he used to spend all his time being a part of those subcultures. He eyed the flannel suspiciously. It looked eerily similar to one that Mercedes had.

He could see a few doors, all open. He saw black tiles from a bathroom floor, and he was suddenly very grateful they weren’t white. He didn’t think he’d’ve liked going in there if it had been white. He could see the counter of what seemed like a narrow kitchen. He saw a double bed and a large, mirrored closet in another room, and quickly averted his eyes. It was clearly Noah-Elise’s bedroom, and.. he didn’t like the mirror. There was one more door, which wasn’t quite shut, but nonetheless, he couldn’t see inside the room behind it.

The past few days had been entirely chaotic. Passing out wasn’t a particularly new experience to him, but waking up in the hospital had been. He still couldn’t believe it had taken him several days to wake up. Noah-Elise had come almost as soon as he’d called, and their reunion was tearful and overwhelming. Everything had been so overwhelming.

The doctor had come and checked him over, Noah-Elise had said that he’d be staying with her, and she’d gotten instructions on how to take care of him and to watch out for refeeding syndrome and all these other things that, frankly, scared him. Everything scared him.

“Want a quick tour? There’s not really much to see..” Noah-Elise smiled apologetically. He hated it. He hated the way he was being treated like he was fragile- he hated more than anything that it was for good reason. It all felt so wrong. He shouldn’t’ve gotten out. It was a mistake. An accident. If he was as obedient as he was supposed to be, he should go back. Tell them he wasn’t dead, they made a mistake. Face whatever punishment was deemed suitable for this all. But he was so desperately relieved to be out… he couldn’t go back even if he wanted to. Not that the doctors or Noah-Elise would have allowed it. But still, it just.. felt wrong.

He nodded silently, and she smiled wider in pride. What was there to be proud of? All he did was nod. He sighed, and trailed after her. She pointed out the bathroom- which was dark purple and black, darker colors than he’d seen in a very long time. The hospital had seemed so colorful after years of a plain white cell, but Noah-Elise’s apartment really reminded him that other colors also existed. It was startling but.. good. It was a very fancy-looking bathroom, and he knew instinctively that Noah-Elise had DIY’d her way through most of the decor. That hurt, for some reason. He knew her so well.. had known her so well. And now, who knew how she had changed? 

He was scared of her. Couldn’t help it. For years, the presence of another person had very rarely not meant pain. He hated it. He wanted to trust her, to curl up in her arms and feel safe, like he was fifteen again, and cry. But he couldn’t. He couldn’t trust her. His guard had been up ever since he’d woken up, with all these strange new things that weren’t actually new and he was exhausted. He wanted her to leave him alone so he could curl up and sleep without worrying about being woken up and thrown straight into more pain. He hated himself for wanting her to leave when she’d been nothing but kind to him- taking him in, taking care of him, but not just now. Ever since they were thirteen, she’d been there for him. What had he ever done for her? 

The kitchen was very narrow, even more than his cell. It was white, and had paint splattered strategically all over the wall and cabinets. For a second Amber thought it was wallpaper before he spotted the stray splotches on the ceiling, past the line of where the painting tape must have been. “Did that ourselves”, is what Noah-Elise said when she caught him looking. Which startled the fuck out of him, making him feel like he’d been caught breaking a rule. A flicker of pity, or realization, crossed her face, before she slightly stammered and moved on.

She opened the door at the far end of the kitchen, leading to the balcony. There was a potted sunflower in the corner, and a hammock in the middle, and not much else. “This is one of my favorite places to hang out and read when it’s sunny. You’ll love it”, Noah-Elise said, with a soft, hopeful smile that broke Amber’s heart. He knew that damn smile. Same way she smiled after Jake got into a bar fight and she’d disinfected his scraped hands. Same way she smiled when Trevor came home after someone at school had bullied him for having two dads. He knew the damn smile, because he knew her, so why did he feel so fucking unsafe with her? If he couldn’t even feel safe with Noah-Elise… 

The first year, or two.. on the boat, it was hard to tell the time but.. the first while, all he’d thought about was coming back home to her and Jake, and Trevor and Dave & Zander. He was out!!! Why couldn’t he just be okay now?!

Amber was startled out of his thoughts by the sound of a door slamming. Immediately, a thousand apologies and pleadings were on his tongue, but they died at his lips, when he saw Noah-Elise’s face. Her face had changed too, of course. She was older now. Not really a teenager anymore. Fuck, neither was he. “Shit! I’m sorry, Am. The balcony doors are really hard to close, I just.. I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking, are you okay? Amber?”

He still wasn’t used to being called his real name again. His vision went blurry with tears, and he couldn’t tell if it was from the fright, or from the sheer relief that overcame him. He quickly nodded, hoping she didn’t notice. “I’m okay,” he whispered, “Just scared.” 

Noah-Elise seemed to realize he didn’t couldn’t handle comfort right now, and he was grateful for the fact that she just moved on without mentioning it.

She showed him her bedroom without entering it. It was mint and baby pink. Not just the walls… everything. The bedding, the floor, the rug, the curtains, even the bathrobes hanging on the door. 

“If you need something while I’m in here, please knock, kay? Unless it’s uh, an emergency, or if I’m asleep. Yeah?”

He nodded silently, noting that he wasn’t allowed in her room without permission. He ignored the “emergency” thing. Emergencies mean urgency, and urgency meant it was about something important, which he was not. He didn’t even have to go through that thought process, it was just obvious to him that emergencies could never apply to him. 

Amber wondered if he’d be allowed to sleep on the sofa in the living room. It seemed really comfortable.

“You also saw the living room since it’s also kind of the hallway so… last but not least, the guest room. Or, I guess it’s your room now.” Noah-Elise further opened the door that he hadn’t been able to see past, revealing a bedroom with dark blues and pastel yellows, almost a beach theme. His jaw would have dropped if his most prominent stress response wasn’t a poker face. He got a whole room to himself..? Fuck, that bed looked amazingly soft. His own room? She was planning on keeping him that long? He got to.. to stay here? Holy shit. He couldn’t even comprehend.. this wasn’t a joke, right? He could barely comprehend that he’d be allowed to sleep in that amazing-looking bed, with proper bedding, holy fuck..

Suddenly he became aware she was still talking. “Sorry, what?” He felt so bad for interrupting her but he didn’t wanna miss any more of what she was saying. It had to be important if she was bothering to tell him. The color in the room was colorful enough not to remind him of his cell, but still calm enough that he didn’t feel too overwhelmed… it was perfect. 

“I said, let’s get you some clean clothes… yeah?” Noah-Elise looked at him, concerned.

He stared at her, even more speechless than he’d been before. Clean clothes..? He looked down at what he was wearing. A tank top that was once white, now almost brown with filth and dried blood. Cargo shorts that Paul bought him… maybe a year ago already? Also covered in filth, but more sturdy than the top, which was even torn in places. It wasn’t visible, but he knew that the boxershorts he was wearing under the cargo shorts had a few holes in them, threadbare in some places. He’d only gotten new underwear once since he’d woken up in the cell.

“Okay, you can wait for me in the bathroom, I’ll be right back.” 

An order, one he was more than willing to follow. He hated how being given a command slightly calmed his anxiety, but he obeyed anyway. He’d get clothes. And a soft bed. He couldn’t afford to screw up. A tiny voice, somewhere in the back of his mind, told him Noah-Elise wouldn’t withhold clothing or bedding if he didn’t obey her. He frowned at it. 

Why wouldn’t she? That’s how things work. Right? He shook his head.

After a few minutes, Noah-Elise came back with a little pile of clothes. “Here”, she said. “I’ll give you some privacy to change. Tell me if you need anything?”

Amber looked at her in awe, and nodded. Then his brain caught up, and he realized he was given permission to request something. He was already given so many things but… “Food?”

“Oh! Of course. I’ll have dinner ready once you’re done, if you wanna take a bath. And.. Amber?”

“Mm?” He was still staring at the clothes. 

“I’m glad you’re home. Like.. really glad.”

He looked up, and for the first time in probably over a year, smiled genuinely. “Me too.”

He locked the bathroom door and ran a bath, sitting in it until the water was brown and cold. Afterwards, he got dressed in the clothes he’d been given; a pair of skinny jeans that didn’t feel tight on him, a band shirt of Within Temptation that felt like it was swallowing him whole, and a red flannel. He felt more covered than he had in years. He wasn’t even questioning why Noah-Elise had pants that actually reached down to his ankles, cause fuck knows if they were hers they wouldn't have. He’d been promised food- he could even smell it. And there was a soft bed waiting for him. And… it was all because of Noah-Elise.

He quietly slipped out of the bathroom and watched her cook. He felt like he was breaking a rule, looking at her without her knowing. It made him nervous. But he stayed for a minute, just watching. He was still scared. That wouldn’t go away any time soon. But maybe it would eventually.

Maybe he could learn to trust his best friend again. 

[cinderella-ish]

The Intersection of Purity Culture and OCD

(Reposting my comments on this post, because they were getting cut off in dashboard)

The ways purity culture intersects with OCD are striking.

Let me tell you about what it's like to be a person with OCD. Our brains are thought-generating machines. We think more thoughts than we can feasibly process.

Most people are able to filter out the important thoughts from the random, background thoughts. A person with OCD will latch on to some of those random, background thoughts - usually the absolute worst, most upsetting ones - and ruminate on them.

We do this because we care about whatever that thought is. In my case, I obsessed over causing harm. I constantly worried that I had hit someone with my car but didn't know it. Or that if I were ever near a dangerous item (an axe, a chainsaw, or a firearm), I was sure to hurt someone badly. I was in a state of constant vigilance against my own actions and thoughts, and I was convinced I secretly wanted to hurt people even though that was literally the most upsetting thought to me.

And then, when we find a compulsion that temporarily soothes the thought, we repeat that ad infinitum, hoping we'll rescue ourselves if we just do the thing just right, or enough times, or completely for the rest of time (as in the case of an avoidance compulsion). I just had to never be near a chainsaw, or an axe, or a firearm, or a car.

Thinking these things didn't ever mean I wanted to hurt people. It actually meant exactly the opposite. I was obsessing over those particular thoughts because they were so deeply upsetting to me.

I now own a cleaver, and I'm comfortable using it in the kitchen and sharpening it myself. (I know this is not revolutionary for most people, but to me, a cleaver is just a mini axe. Those things are were scary!)

I now know those thoughts are a normal part of having a brain, and exploring them in a safe way (i.e.through fiction) is actually incredibly helpful to me, because it allows me to have agency as I explore thoughts and concepts that used to trigger bad obsessive spirals. For example, when I was going through exposure and response prevention therapy (ERP) for OCD, one of the exercises I would do was carrying one of my intrusive thoughts to its natural conclusion.

Well, what if I DID hit someone with my car? Well...first, I'd try to help them, call 911, administer the first aid I know, etc... If I was at fault, I might face charges, which would be a hardship. It would be harder if the person I hit suffered serious harm. I would have to live with that for the rest of my life. And of course, it would be even more painful if the accident happened without me knowing. BUT worrying about it constantly won't actually change whether it will happen. I've now given enough of my brainspace to this, and I won't need to worry about it again unless it actually happens.

I imagine the current purity culture must be incredibly hard for people whose OCD is not managed, and may be pushing people with a propensity for OCD into some bad spirals.

There's also the fact that survivors of trauma often use role play or fiction as a way of working through their trauma.

And NO ONE should have to disclose their trauma or medical conditions for their engagement with fiction to be "valid." Everyone worries sometimes, and fiction can be a way to work through those worries.

Fiction can also provide catharsis, especially tragedies and "dark" fiction. We all need to be able to experience the full spectrum of emotions, and fiction can help us do that.

I also think it's totally valid to criticize fiction. There are a lot of pieces of fiction (all media) that I personally find irredeemable. And it's literally all problematic (because nothing is perfect!). My beloved Fruits Basket has tons of very problematic elements. But there's a wide gulf between "I won't read that" and "it shouldn't exist."

But with that said, it's important to be aware of the current climate. There's a huge difference between saying "this trope is frustrating and here's why" or "this novel by a well-established author didn't successfully make the point it wanted to make" vs. "this fanfic is Bad therefore the author is Bad and anyone who engages with them is Bad and deserves whatever consequences they get."

(Plus, I think the Netflix AtLA adaptation is proof that fiction needs problematic elements and characters to have any heart at all. Give me sexist Sokka and angry Katara and an Aang who runs away and murderous, angry Zuko any day over what we got! Characters need room to GROW! And "problematic" characters show real people there's a way forward!)

(This isn't even getting into the roots of purity culture in colonial, Evangelical Christian ways of thinking. Purity culture is, by its very nature, a tool of the oppressors.)

[munchkin1156]

I have fallen (but have faith, for I shall rise once more)

. . .

Borrower Techno with rest of sbi as god's? More likely than you think :D

2.2k words for part one, definitely going to make a part two because I'm not about to LEAVE y'all on a cliffhanger like that.

(Cw: Blood, injuries, mention of death (non happens) swearing, angst, accidental fearplay and Techno passes out due to blood loss.)

Hope you enjoy my (technically) first addition to the mcyt g/t community from my user!

. . .

Technoblade wasn’t like other borrowers.

Other borrowers didn’t have voices in their heads, who screamed at him for blood, grew emotionally attached to the most random things, or know things that helped him evade capture multiple times.

Other borrowers didn’t have memories that never existed, searing into his brain at moments when he loses themselves, of friendships with beings of power, of him being a being of power, of falling from the clouds for a crime he did not do.

When his sword is stained red from those who wronged him, then in his head it rings. When the voices, or as he called them, Chat, started chanting. It never made sense, what they chanted.

Blood for the blood god

And it scared him, not knowing what it meant. But he couldn’t dwell on it now, just like he couldn’t dwell on it yesterday. He was a borrower, and that meant he needed to borrow.

Techno stepped outside of the comfort that was the shelter that he had been using for the past week. Being a wandering borrower, he didn’t have a home, exactly. He wandered from place to place, travelling lightly and swiftly, being able to escape at a moment's notice.

He had bases in some places, so he could restock and rest for a bit, but he was exploring a new area and that came with the consequence of not knowing where safety lay, so if a bean were to see him, he might not be able to get out of there fast enough.

But it wouldn’t come to that. Techno was an amazing borrower, and his motto was literally ‘Technoblade never dies’. He started walking through the long grass, humming to himself. He wouldn’t get caught, he was certain of it.

So why did he feel so uneasy?

. . .

“Hey- Hey! Stop it!” He whispered, whipping his sword out as an act of defence. The crow squawked defiantly but didn’t stop trying to pick him up with its beak.

Techno groaned. Crows were always nice to him, and they were one of the few things that gave him those memories other than blood. 

Memories of black wings surrounding him, feeling safety and warmth, and when he looked into those eyes-

Other things that did this were music, especially guitars or discs, the colour red, and that one statue. It had been in some rich fucker’s garden, and from what he had overheard the people in it were gods, whatever that was.

Their names, according to the beans he had been eavesdropping on, were Philza, Angel of Death, a golden blonde man with large black crow wings, a fatherly expression on his face as he stared at Soot, the god of music and chaos, a brunette who was laughing and ruffling the hair of Innit, god of discs and the wilderness.

And, standing a little bit away from the others, was a statue with its head gone. According to one of the beans, it was because they had been banished from the kingdom above, for a crime so terrible, and therefore been erased from history.

He also heard them say that it turned out to be an accident, that DreamXD, had framed him. But by that time it was discovered, it was too late, and he had been cast down, though it is said those three gods still search for him, in the hopes that they could bring him back.

They said his name was Blade, the god of war and blood. And that’s how he got his name. 

Technoblade.

And, another funny thing is, no matter how hard he sees those gods as Philza, Soot, and Innit, like the man described, some hidden part of his mind changes that to Phil, Wilbur, and Tommy. But that was beside the point.

The point was, that no matter how nice the crows were to him, they kept trying to take him somewhere.

Usually, they’d stop if he complained or shouted, or drew his sword (never intending to kill, just to scare them off) and they’d stop. But this one was even more persistent, and Techno realised now that he’d either have to fight it (something he would like to avoid if possible, he liked crows and they sometimes brought him gifts) or run.

He chose the latter, dashing to the side the moment the crow grabbed him. It squawked in outrage and Techno realised that it couldn’t chase after him on foot, with its legs like sticks. Birds were meant to fly, not walk.

‘Looks like I win this time, eh?’

He thinks, grinning to himself. The crow that he escaped from cawed loudly, and he only had a split second to wonder what that could mean before another crow SWOOPS down out of nowhere and yoinks (he’s not even sure what that word means but it seems about right for this situation) him up in its claws.

He had jinxed it. Techno didn’t believe in superstition, but he was certain that was what had happened.

The pinkette struggled in the crow's grasp, desperate to get free before it took him to… Well, wherever it was taking him. But it was no use. He wondered why it was so determined to bring him wherever it was going. Techno supposed he’d find out, soon enough.

Eventually, after a few minutes of flying, the borrower noticed something very, very strange. The crow was taking him up. And by that, he meant really, really high up. The world below was barely visible, as they went higher and higher, through the clouds.

And once they came out of the clouds, Techno couldn’t believe his eyes.

“The kingdom above… Fucking hell it’s real…”

He muttered to himself in awe. It was made out of pristine white shining material that might’ve been made out of the clouds themselves, with magical glowing lanterns floating in the air.

Techno’s first thought was that it belonged to the ruler of this kingdom, or at least some kind of person in power, I mean it was so fine and well-kept that it had to be, right? Wrong.

On closer inspection, he realised that the people walking down below were… Normal. This was a normal town here, and these were normal civilians.

The crow flew past it though, taking Techno with it. Its wingbeats never slowed, and it showed no sign of tiredness. This was no ordinary crow, he was sure of it.

And this was no ordinary place. Chat had stopped talking altogether, and his mind felt as if it was his own, at last. It was as if someone wanted him to be peaceful, but that was silly since he was literally getting kidnapped by a bird.

What a great day Techno was having, right?

Aaaaand now the crow was flying down, towards three people that looked awfully familiar, but he just couldn’t put his finger on it and then-

Oh fuck that’s Philza, Soot and Innit. He’d recognize them anywhere, after the incident with the statue. Oh, he’s fucked. He’s going to die, oh stars he needs to get out of this mess-

‘But aren’t the gods his family?’

He brushed that thought off with a shudder. Why on earth did he keep thinking stuff like that!? It didn’t make any sense, and you better believe that he was gonna get to the bottom of this.

Not today though. He was about to get caught by some of the most powerful beings in the entire universe, and he’d actually rather not. He valued his life, after all. So he did what any self-respecting borrower would do and fucking stab the bird.

Techno hadn’t particularly wanted to stab the crow. As he might’ve mentioned before, he liked crows. There just hadn’t been another choice. 

And it had worked.

The crow dropped him with a screech, alerting the three gods immediately. Their gazes fell on the bleeding crow who flew over to them with a lot of effort and landed on Philza’s outstretched arm. It healed almost instantly.

But the pinkette didn’t know any of this, because he happened to be falling when that situation had played out. And when Techno hit the ground, he felt his body scream out in pain and his head ring in agony.

The world around him felt loud and blurry. His head seemed to be sticky with what he could only assume was blood. He forced himself to stand, he needed to get out of here, needed to be safe-

Chat was back now,  just as incoherent and jumbled as his thoughts, and from what he managed to make out, delusional. They kept saying something about… Dadza? Who the hell was- Oh. Wait what!?

So Chat was no help. 

Techno winced. He couldn’t think, everything was just so loud and it hurt so damn much and he couldn’t understand and oh fuck did one of the Gods? beans just spot him and oh no they’re all walking towards him now.

The borrower’s eyes widen, and he couldn’t help but shrink back as the three gods towered over him, eyeing him over with such a strange expression of hope and longing that made Techno wonder if he actually was delusional.

The silence was broken when one of the gods, Innit, spoke up, voice breaking slightly and eyes glazed, as if holding back tears.

“Holy shit… Is it him? Like, really him?”

Philza responded, managing to sound calm and yet so desperate that it made Techno’s cold heart shatter, though he was not sure why.

“I don’t know Tommy (wait WHAT-), why don’t we ask him instead of talking over his head?” The angel of death suggested, and now they were all staring at him again, possibly even more intensely than before.

“So,” Philza said curiously. “Who are you, why did you stab my crow and why did it try to bring you here?”

There was no malice in his voice, it was just confusion and subtle amusement, but that just made Techno’s nerves worse. The only reason he could think of that would involve the god being amused about his half-dead state was-

Oh fuck, were they going to torture him?

“I’m Technoblade,” He said, after a few moments of hesitation. The pinkette ignored the sharp gasp of air from above, acting like he didn’t hear it, because he did not want to think of why the god might be shocked, and instead continued.

“I stabbed your crow because I was about to get seen (and look how that ended up) and I have no clue why it brought me here.” Techno knew it was not a smart idea to lie to a god, and he was anything but stupid. His injuries throbbed painfully, but the gods either didn’t notice or didn’t care.

Techno wasn’t about to guess which one…

After a very long while (in which Techno was trying his absolute hardest not to die on the spot) Soot spoke up. “So that’s a- a yes, then? It’s him?” He asked, voice cracking slightly. “Yes, Wilbur, (WHAT THE FUCK) It’s really him.”

The borrower didn’t have time to question what in the world he meant by that, because at that moment  Philza reached down, and Techno realised what was about to happen a second too late.

He scrambled backwards as the hand came towards him, absolutely terrified out of his wits, but the god paid no mind to that, plucking him off the ground by his waist easily. 

Techno struggled in his grasp but fell limp almost immediately. There was no way he was escaping from Philza, even though he wanted to, and besides, it just made his injuries worse. The tight grip the god had him in didn’t help either.

“What do you want from me!?”

He shouted, glaring at the gods, though it quickly fell as he remembered how easily they could crush him. Soot made a small noise (pity?) but he ignored it. “You- you really don’t remember us?” Asked Innit, with a look of despair on his face.

‘Remember you? I’ve never seen you before in my life!’ 

Not in this one you haven’t.

 Responded one of the voices, before it faded back into the clutter of noise. “Chat?” Philza asked, and Techno almost responded with ‘Yeah, it’s making no sense…’ when he remembered that he never told them about Chat.

Something clicked behind Soot’s eyes, and he spoke up. “So you really don’t know who we are… Right?” Techno nodded. Where exactly was (Wilbur) Soot going with this? “So that means…” “Means what? I’m not about to sit around all day waiting while you give me half-formed answers,” the borrower responded, with more challenge in his tone than was wise.

It’s not like you could stop them from doing that…

Said another one of those loud voices unhelpfully. ‘Thanks a lot…’ He thought to himself irritatedly and stared at Soot expectantly, which was harder than it seemed because his eyes kept unfocusing, and the corners of his vision were blurry and stained red. ‘Blood?’

“Listen, Technoblade, I don’t know what species you think you are, but…” He hesitated again, before continuing.

“You're a god, and our brother, at that.” Soot paused, and then started saying something more. “I’m so glad we finally found you, we’ve-”

But Techno didn’t get to hear what they’d done, the blood loss had finally caught up to him, and he passed out, darkness now surrounding him as he finally drifted into a dreamless sleep.

. . .

Aaaaaand that's it, folks! Great ending we got there, right? Hope you liked it :] Big thanks to Beckyu for helping me choose how to end it, and start next chapter.

That reminds me...

@i-am-beckyu and @brick-a-doodle-do, thank you for wanting to be tagged! If you want to be tagged, comment, ask or dm me and I'll add you! :D

Bye for now!!!

[randomfandomdreaming]

My Reality Shifting Experience

Otherwise known as the post I meant to do after work one day and forgot.

Long post incoming. You've been warned lol

Word Count: 1,601

Please keep in mind that what works for me may not work for someone else. My spirituality, beliefs, and practices come solely from my experiences, and not what I've read on the internet. I did have to do some minor research for this post so that I could put commonly used names to what I do. I also only talk about the Star Wars galaxy as that is the only one I have actively shifted to. I know there are others, but I genuinely can't remember them.

What is "reality shifting"? Reality shifting, as a definition, is the practice of transferring or moving your consciousness to another world/universe/dimension/whatever you wish to call it. It can be fictional or not. This destination is usually referred to as your "desired reality", or DR for short. Your current reality or original reality (CR or OR, respectively) is the one you're probably reading this post from.

Here's where things start to get a little messy, at least for me. I personally put reality shifting under the same umbrella as astral projection and anything similar, as these various methods are just that to me. Different methods and names for the same exact thing: A way to interact with the areas that our universe has allowed us to have. To keep everything simple, I'll refer to these methods as reality shifting.

I've been shifting to the wondrous galaxy found in the Star Wars franchise since I was just eight years old. I first encountered Obi-Wan Kenobi and Mace Windu on the street here on our very own planet mere days after first discovering the franchise. I had only seen one episode, and had only been introduced to Obi-Wan, Anakin Skywalker, and a few other characters. Yet here was a Jedi Master introducing himself as Mace Windu before I had ever even heard of the character. That single episode was my first exposure to the franchise. I didn't even know about Master Yoda yet.

When I first started shifting, I had no control over it. Sometimes I still don't. I genuinely don't know how I do it, as I don't really use any well known methods in order to do it. The first time I ever encountered anything to do with reality shifting was completely by accident, as they found me. But the stronger my connection to the people in that galaxy became, the easier it was to make the connection and shift.

Realities overlapping is quite commonplace. There have been times where the image of Obi-Wan or someone else has quite literally flickered into existence, even including the area just round them, allowing me a glimpse of where they currently are. I've been told the same has also occurred on their end. There were even some times where It wasn't just an image, but the realities literally colliding, allowing us to actually converse as if we weren't in galaxies several parsecs away, but instead standing right next to each other in one galaxy or the other.

Some of the physical interactions I've had:

The very first meeting with Master Windu and Obi-Wan.

Someone who looked exactly like a clone trooper (height, looks, everything) once entered my history classroom in third grade to speak with my teacher. Being a child, I asked him outright if he was a clone, and he responded by saying no while laughing after looking at me scared. His expression is one of the few I will never forget.

A Patrolian in the park in my town.

A metal statue cut clean through in another park in my town. Parts of it were melted along the cut. The cut was also too straight for anything we could possibly use. It was cut in one fluid motion.

Hearing the rattle of clone armor by the lake near my apartment. My roommate heard it as well. We were the only ones around and it was the middle of the night.

Almost every physical interaction I've had has had someone else confirm that they were indeed physically there (I was the only one who saw the Patrolian).

One of the most interesting things about this experience as a whole is how much actually carries over to here. Mannerisms, beliefs, even abilities have transferred to this galaxy.

For example, with the Force, you're able to sense another being's presence, even distinguish exactly who it is. Every living thing, from the largest sentient being to the smallest organism, has their own unique presence in the Force. One thing that has carried over for me is a very diluted version (best way I can describe it) of being able to sense a presence.

Things I've learned about the SW galaxy through shifting:

They actually have a name for their galaxy. It's called the "Virdon Galaxy".

They know of other galaxies and have named them as well, regardless if the occupants of said galaxy call it that or not. They call the Milky Way galaxy (our galaxy) the "Retuura Galaxy". They also call Earth "Areen", Mercury "Bentuu", and Pluto "Virk". The other planets never came up in any conversations.

Our entire planetary system was never charted on any official star maps prior to Master Windu and Obi-Wan's visit. I was never told why.

They consider us a backwater planet and very primitive. Don't be offended. A lot of backwater planets get overlooked, and during the Clone War, that can be a really good thing sometimes.

The clones are some of the greatest people you'll ever meet. It's like having a giant family of protective brothers you didn't know you wanted. That being said, they're still soldiers, and men. They talk very coarsely. A lot. Especially when they think younglings can't hear them. Those men have absolutely no filter when they think they're just with their brothers.

The timeline we know to be canon within the franchise is not the actual timeline there. The franchise has been made for entertainment, rather than accuracy. I first met Obi-Wan while the Clone War was ravaging the galaxy. I've also met Qui-Gon Jinn, who unfortunately did perish later on in the Clone War during a mission. In the franchise, he perishes on Naboo.

Time doesn't move the same for each of our galaxies. There have been times where a month has passed here, and only a week has passed there, as well as vice versa. Time is genuinely an illusion with our galaxies.

Force abilities, whether from a natural born being of this galaxy or a Jedi from Coruscant, are weaker in our system than any other known location. Obi-Wan had once mentioned to me that being in this system dulled his senses, as if the system was almost non-existent in the Force. The Council tried to look into it, but not a single member could figure why.

These are all things I learned before I even turned ten. Yes, children have very active imaginations, but there are certain things that not even a child should be able to come up with. I was a very sheltered child, being raised in the church (I won't say what one) by my grandmother. There were certain things I never knew about, let alone even think to research. Anything related to astral projection, reality shifting, or other things considered more spiritual were never exposed to me until I was almost eighteen. So how would an eight year old youngling come up with the idea of practically being an experiment of the Jedi Order? Especially when there were physical interactions. (I say experiment because that's essentially what my training started out being. The Council wanted to see if someone from this Force-starved system could even be trained in the Force. So, quite literally an experiment.)

As for methods? That is unfortunately where my knowledge on the subject ends. Some people write out, or script, where they want to go, what will happen, everything about their desired reality. Some people prefer to meditate before attempting to shift, while others simply jump into it. What's important is that you find what works best for you. Not what works for your parent or your best friend, but for you. Trust your feelings, but do your research. If something feels right or wrong, then it probably is. There's no "one method fits all".

Don't be discouraged if you don't shift on your first try. Some people are more naturally inclined to shifting than others. It's not uncommon for someone to not shift on their first try. It takes practice. Even I still have to practice and I've been doing it for years.

I know this post is slightly all over the place, so if you need clarification on anything or have any questions, please don't hesitate to send me an ask. Please know that any asks I receive (if any) will be posted to benefit anyone else who may have a similar, if not the same, question as long as they are reasonable. Feel free to use the anon option if you don't want your blog name to be shown.

Whether you believe something like this is possible or not, please be respectful to those who believe and have experienced things themselves. Just because someone else was not around for something that someone experiences doesn't mean that it isn't real. We don't truly know what all could be out there. We can barely make it to other planets of our system with robots, let alone vessels that can transport living beings. Things such as reality shifting may seem insane to some, but they are very real to others.

[miradelletarot]

You know another irl job that would work for Gale aside professor? Detective. I don't know, something about that really suits him. If you want to share how you would picture it then please share!

Have a good day!

I had to give this some thought honestly, and at first, I was inclined to disagree simply because of his alignment (According to the Gale Dekarios Wiki, the game says he's true neutral).

Just in case, spoilers for Gale's storyline are ahead.

Mira's Maunderings: I DISAGREE with him being true neutral because his in-game interactions point to him being a more neutral good character alignment. Depending on how you play him, however, you could possibly sway him, but he needs A LOT of convincing (Persuasion checks) to do stuff that isn't inherently *good*. If we are talking about God!Gale though, he is most certainly true neutral because he simply doesn't interfere. He merely exists, and as long as one has the drive and ambition to do what they set their hearts out to do, he supports it regardless of whether or not they are good or evil (yet he still does not get involved because that's not what he does or wants to do.)

One could argue that is desperate times, he is willing to do something morally grey, but that's where the neutrality comes in. But that's a whole long ass topic I really don't wanna dive into rn (b/c I'm lazy and tired, and honestly, it's been discussed by others before and far more eloquently than I could ever convey).

So, *IF* we are to throw the canon alignment out the window and go by the assumption that he's neutral good, I think him being a detective would be a solid choice. Why? Because deep down, he's a good person, and just wants to see people happy and safe. Knowing he could play a part in that goal would fill him with satisfaction and even validation. I see the "morally grey" neutrality coming into play when it comes to matters of lawfulness.

Let's say, in a situation where there was a victim who endured a horrific crime (I'm talking some dark shit that i won't outline...use your imaginations,) and the criminal was caught (and it was known beyond a shadow of a doubt that this person was, indeed, the criminal,) Gale would be inclined to 'turn the other cheek' if it meant justice for that person would be served better outside of the legal system. A little tweak of paperwork here and there and make it look like a freak accident or literally anything else. Perhaps enough to raise an eyebrow of suspicion from his colleagues, but not enough for them to care otherwise because at the end of the day, justice was served. (This is only one example, but hopefully you see what I am going for here).

If he were lawful neutral the extent of his lawful nature wouldn't necessarily be good. it could be, but it could also be evil. If he were lawful good, that criminal would be caught and sent to face justice "the correct" way, and be hauled off to jail for the legal system to deal with as the laws of the land intended. Whether or not true justice for the victim(s) actually gets served wouldn't be up to him to decide.

If we look at Gale as true neutral (as is canon,) I really think this could have the capacity to take him down the road of "dirty cop" material. (arguably, so could lawful neutral, but i'm going with his canon stuff rn so go with me on this journey if you would.)

A true neutral detective Gale would likely be someone who is so disenfranchised with his profession, and would probably quit if it didn't afford him some liberties that a badge comes with. Maybe he was good once, and truly believed in the system at large. Over time, just becomes jaded, perhaps overworked, and under appreciated for his efforts. But, he'd have a pension, and stability. It's sensible, albeit a little dangerous at times. Still, it's not a pleasant lifestyle. Perhaps he's alone, just barely above paycheck to paycheck. Maybe he's suffered from permanent compassion fatigue among other things. He becomes more aloof.

I think if an opportunity opened up to him for him to get in on something a bit nefarious, or he accidentally got swept up in a case that now he simply knows too much, he might hate it at first. Hate himself for what he's become, but logically, he knows there's no way out of it that doesn't end his life with a period. (if you know what I mean). Then again, he could decide to take a position of power because he thinks he can do better and get corrupted in the process.

Imho, this is kinda how we end up with God!Gale because he is so done with gods and their ways. How they meddle with people and use them as play things.

His superiors and the local government play bureaucratic games instead of focusing on actually helping people, or making their jobs better. He grows tired of it, just as in-game Gale grows tired of the Gods, and decides to take matters into his own hands thinking he can do better. In the end, he would be no better than them (if not arguably worse).

idk, i went on a huge alignment tangent, and i fear i didn't totally answer your question, but this is what my brain did to me since you sent this, Anon so...suffer with me lmao.

Thanks for this ask though! This was a fun consideration, and of course if anyone has anything to add please share your thoughts! I'd love to hear them!

[blade-that-was-broken]

People love to mention that JD made a joke about not sticking around after rescuing Floyd and set of branches abandonment issues but they never mention that JD only made that joke after all three of the brothers that were with him expressed that they didn’t want him around. Like how was he supposed to know that Branch secretly wanted his brothers around after he disowned JD to his face five minutes into their reunion.

Like my dude had every reason to think that branch and the rest of his brothers wanted him to fuck off back to the wilderness after rescuing floyd.

Honestly within the context of what jd knows in this scene it shows how much he grew up from his teenage self. He saw his brothers expressed his love for them his brothers set a boundary that they didn’t want a relationship with him and he immediately accepted that boundary regardless of the fact that he missed them and wanted to reconnect. He was willing to leave them alone despite how much he missed them if they didn’t want him around. That’s called respecting boundaries.

I saw another conversation about this thing not that long ago and I whole heartedly agree. Some things are played off as laughs or simple because it is a kids movie but JD seems to be the guy who accepts they don't want him and even though it OBVIOUSLY hurts him, he's all like okay, that's fine.

I know people rag on him for him going up to Branch in the beginning like that and whatever, but dude thought Branch was dead! I give him a little more leeway to hug him like that and be that happy and excited. It's been a hot second since I've watched Band Together but if I remember correctly, he doesn't continue to act like Branch is a baby. He might but I don't remember that off the top of my head. He jokes around stuff but he's really also very focused on finding and saving Floyd. He isn't even phased that Branch has a girlfriend - and even approves/praises her! (Literally JD and Poppy friendship train, here is the conductor woot woot)

JD seems to be the kind of guy that would come if you called - no matter what. Dude literally got one singular vague note "from" Floyd and literally high tailed it to help him.

He literally forgot the harmony existed until Floyd told him.

During the fight, he literally tries to soothe it down by pretty much TELLING them he wouldn't be around afterwards. It was meant to be a comfort for THEM because yes, it was obvious they didn't want him around. (I also have feelings about the whole "him being bossy during that scene too but that's a whole other thing) and it was entirely by accident that he stumbles into Branch's desire to be a family again.

He hasn't gotten any real indication that Branch wanted that.

So like it's a whole thing. I am often seeing lots of these things in a slightly new light and frankly, it's still making me just sympathize with John more and more.

Give the poor dude a hug, geez.

[n-hospital]

okay time for my own messy fionna and cake analysis post. spoilers below the cut

the story is only six episodes in and it's already very dark and has very strong philosophical points and whatnot about identity, but it's showing signs of getting much, much worse. simon feels alien outside of his madness and all alone in the world after losing betty forever (again) and he is currently actively trying to get back to being miserable and insane because "he seemed happier" and he feels it would make him fit into the crazy world of ooo again. and his identity issues are also projected onto fionna, she feels completely out of place in her own world and there is something very wrong with her (affectionate) and a lot of sorrow and anger in her heart. she could never keep anything steady and her life was a shitty mess. however, all her counterparts from the og adventure time (marshall, gumball, etc) do not feel it. only she feels out of place and tormented by an ambiguous sense of unbelonging.

even the selfcest jokes with winter king x simon, although funny, have some really dire undertones. is winter king still simon? is he still ice king? he is seemingly what simon believed would be the "half point" between him and ice king but he just inherited both of their worst traits (simon's profound loneliness and inability to move on as shown with ice marcy and suggesting simon makes an ice betty, and ice king's very unsettling harmful whimsy and lack of morals) while being sexy as hell sentient and aware of his actions... to some degree.

and don't even get me started on fionna and cake /literally/ sucking the magic out of things just by TOUCHING them for too long. that's extremely unsettling. imagine you finally find a place that is your dream of belonging in a freaky magic up world but existing in it, experiencing it, is killing it. you are killing your dream life by existing.

because your existence was made on a whim by a bored god-lite and stored in the brain of a crazy magical god-lite and now that he's just normal and depressed and no longer magic, so are you and everything you touch, and that is far beyond your control. you were born for someone's entertainment and despite being your own person you aren't really your own person.

you have free will but it ruins the world around you. you don't belong anywhere because you were not meant to exist. there is no you. you are a hollow shell and copy of a person who doesn't really know or care you exist. everything about you was an accident, from your birth, your life being shitty, and to you coming to a magical dream world.

[hallucinateonpaperspines]

So, I was rereading Chapter 5 of OUAT, and it just registered to me what the statue meant. Like, I didn’t really pay much attention to it at first (because I was too excited for the update lol), but rereading it now, I just now see the messed up implications. Like, Cybertronians literally rewrote history. They made it seem as if both sides were protecting humans, specifically the three children, as if both sides were interested in preserving the native population, which is obviously not what happened. It was Megatron who wanted humanity gone, it was Megatron who wanted to claim Earth for his own and it was Megatron who ultimately destroyed it (as far as Cybertronians know.) So seeing him cradling the kids, as if he was also the one protecting them is just… so infuriating. It makes sense for Optimus to be depicted, because he was the one to truly care about the children, but Megatron being there is such a slap in the face. No wonder June almost snaps. Seeing someone, who held no regard or respect to your species and wanting to actively kill you, being depicted as a sort of hero is so…jajdfcvkh, I can’t put it into words! To add to this, Optimus was the one who built the Archival Project, so was he the one who made or commissioned the statue? It seems unlikely, but I saw in one of your posts mentioning that the bots don’t talk about Earth to others? Implying that they also don’t really talk about the true events that transpired there. So, were they the ones who fabricated the story in an attempt to bring the peace treaty between Decepticons and Autobots closer, or were these just speculations they let to cultivate? Either way, the whole statue scene is so messed up…

Yep, that statue was an important hint and existed in the first drafts of OUAT. Earth has done something similar, but instead of rewriting the truth it just isn't widely known. The information is there, but it takes a level of effort to get to it.

But you are 100% correct, history has been rewritten and the more concerning details of the truth have been tweaked for a more acceptable narrative. This will cause some confusion when the new Prime decides to lead some peace-keeping efforts.

It was a combination of speculations and white lies that caused the entire "propaganda" to form. Elements of the organic Earth remain via recorded media and some artifacts that were on the Nemesis (thanks to quite a few vehicons and KO). Those glimpses into a society so similar and yet so different from Cybertron sparked something in the war-torn generations. For some, that is the only taste of peace-time that they've ever had, for many, it's a reminder of what they lost.

When the treaty went into effect, for the first time in millennia, there was time to focus on something beyond the next battle. With that sudden shift away from warfare, there was be bit of a vacuum and sentimentality developed a deep anchor. Humanity's remnants became a way to channel that. (hence why Stunbolt knows some Japanese... the bot is a weeb).

But Cybertronians only know fragments of humanity, heavily edited fragments that were produced for entertainment purposes.

Of course, eventually, someone asks what happened to the humans. Are they still there? Why are they gone? Obviously, some of their species made it to the planet, so what happened?

And of course, no one bothers to answer the questions. They don't really care. They don't deserve to know.

So the Autobots hold the treaty's tributes tight and keep their mouths shut. The Decepticons don't say anything either, but their silence isn't as absolute.

Rumors spread. A word at a bar. A half-sparked muttering overheard. A sentence picked apart by obsessed fans that have nothing better to do than focus on this little mystery.

The world was destroyed.

It was an accident.

It was on purpose.

It was a disaster.

It was a force of nature.

The narrative pieces itself together. Sentiment winding with truth, blurring the lines between what was and what might have been. Eventually, the tale is so disjointed from reality that it is nothing more than fiction, a once upon a time that makes even the ones who know the truth feel a little less guilty about their part in it.

Earth is dead. It isn't coming back, so what is the harm in lying when no one can get hurt anymore?

When the Children finally die, the last tie to the truth is severed.

Team Prime has mixed feelings about it. Arcee finds it appalling, even as she keeps her silence. She hasn't visited the memorial in years, unable to step foot in the tomb housing her partner's preserved body when she is allowing his sacrifices to be erased. Bulkhead is similarly torn, the lies help to ease things, to create connections between sides and a middle ground. But he would be lying if he said he never wanted to pound a mech's face every time they started speaking of Earth. He and Jackie will change the conversation, and laugh it off before disappearing so Bulk can drown himself in high grade and Wheeljack can sharpen his sword. They don't talk about it. They don't talk about it or else they'd argue about visiting for the death-day anniversary. They have their own memorial, pictures set up instead of a body and that is enough. Bulkhead doesn't need to go traversing across the galaxy to pay respects when the memories of his sparkling are right there.

Bumblebee doesn't talk at all. It's not hard when he can barely vocalize properly anyway. He doesn't talk, but his optics scream murder. Ratchet is used to this. He remembers political machinations such as this from his days waiting on politicians during the Golden Age. If this sacrifice is what it takes to keep some semblance of order and peace, then he will bow his helm and remain silent. He still has a drawer in his personal quarters that he keeps locked. The equipment he built, too tiny for any use now, but once had brought comfort to the three ailing organics. He doesn't open the drawer, but he does visit the Archive every 360 earthen days on the anniversary of their return from Megatron. He apologizes and hopes that it might be enough. His spark knows it isn't.

Optimus is ashamed. The memorial site was constructed, and the statue was meant to depict the unification of their species through a shared love of the tributes, of the children, but it quickly turned into something out of hand. They had not dismissed the rumors of Earth's ending, and now, the Prime had all but confirmed that the loss of such a young and beautiful world had been a freak accident that both factions had come together over. Mourned together over. He does nothing but nod and approve the project. No one present knows him well enough to see the disgust and sorrow that mars his optics. No one but the mech seated across from him.

Megatron shares that disgust. He has his own feelings concerning his failings and the humans, but they are a complex mass that no fairy tale could hope to explain. He winces as Rodimus Prime launches into a speech about the asteroid attack and the value of preserving life. He does not contradict. He simply leaves.

Oh yes. Once upon a time, he would have felt nothing over humanity dying. He didn't care one way or another about the collateral damage between him and his ultimate prize, but now... Now the warlord was disgusted at himself for becoming a part of the same system he had dismantled to begin with. The same lies.

Rumors started with negligence. But the Archival Project is opened with falsehoods pouring out of the intake of a mech who could never know better.

Humanity would be rolling in their graves had they known.

Instead, they're digging their way out, and soon, they'll find out for themselves.

[gyubby99]

"She's so naive she's obviously the worst sister-" WITH ALL DUE RESPECT GO ARGUE WITH A WALL!

In honor of her birthday I will be ranting about this. Yes.

Like- how the hell do you EXPECT someone to have her literal memories of her sister's powers ERASED from her head to know about the said powers?? "She should've known better" MY GIRLIE WAS SHUT OUT ALL HER LIFE AND SHE DIDNT EVEN KNOW WHAT SHE DID WRONG !!!!

Do yall expect her to be like "oh okay I'll just go back to wanting love from everyone else but my sister" ????? How do you expect her to react??

Don't even get me started with "but she married a man she just met!!" Bs.

Attatchment issues are a real thing and Hans was the ONLY person who's shown her "love" after THIRTEEN YEARS. Ofcourse she's going to be attatched to him and would want to marry him. Also let's consider the fact that she was only 18. EIGHTEEN. With the word "teen". You expect her mind to be matured enough to "know better" ?? She only had paintings to talk to throughout the rest of her childhood. Not to mention she grieved all alone for her parents at the ripe age of FIFTEEN. If anything I'm proud of her for staying strong after all of that. Hell, she even reached out to her sister one last time.

"It's not that deep" it kinda is, for someone who relates to her. For ANYONE who relates to her and had the same experience and trauma as her. To anyone who has her as their role model. Like you can't blame someone who only had paintings to talk to, to not be attatched to someone who has given them the attention/affection they've been looking for for a long time. Also, the literal point is, Anna doesn't know anything about true love. Because She never had it! She doesn't know what it feels like because her own sister shut her out.

Also how was she even supposed to know he's a villain in the first place when he only gave her what she's been looking for for THIRTEEN years. (Spoiler alert: that's how manipulation works) Also, keep in mind she was Eighteen with a high emphasis on "teen". She never had any experience with love for a long time. She was a hopeless romantic looking for someone who wouldn't shut her out like her sister did. I feel like Anna gets more hate than Hans at this point.

Also, did ANYONE in real life not make stupid choices as a teen? No? Thought so. She wasn't even in her 20's yet and yall judging her for making a dumb choice she didn't even know was dumb because she was 18 and naive. She lived, she learned, she moved on and yall are still stuck on that one time where she married a man she just met just to have an excuse to hate on her.

I think Anna is rlly great. She worked hard for what she got in the end and she absolutely deserved that crown, because the whole point of the 2nd movie was that Elsa did not feel like she was meant to be queen.

"She shouldn't have pushed Elsa" Anna has been shut out for 13 years and had memories erased by the trolls. What do you want her to do?? Talk to her calmly after the ball when she was so desperate for answers on why she was shut out?? She has so many questions in her head that she couldn't take it anymore. Do you ever have this.. breaking point? Do yall even know a breaking point exists? Because I think that's what she had.

And while I understand Elsa's side, I'm explaining Anna's since you guys love to bring up the mistakes she did when her brain has not fully matured yet in the first movie. In the end, it was no one's fault and everything was just the result of both of their trauma's, but they learned to fix it at the end, didn't they?

Oh! Almost forgot the accident! Yeah! You have never been near a child in your life if you think that Anna shouldn't have gone too fast. Some kids CAN get carried away, and no, it can't be stopped by a simple "slow down!" Anna was being a child, and it was NO ONE'S fault. That's why it's called an "accident." Even Elsa said it was.

The point in this is that it was not Elsa nor Anna's faults. They were literal children when it happened, and their parents didn't know what to do because their kid has literal ice magic like.. none of her parents or grandparents even had anything like that so they did what they could to keep them both safe, but obviously that did not work. They're kinda flawed on the "conceal don't feel" part tho.

So yeah. Happy birthday Anna and I wish all of her haters a very warm pillow on both sides.

[moonssugar]

10, 16, & 20 for the pride asks please! :)

20. Have your ocs helped you in self discovery? How?

lets start off with 20 because its defintely the funniest lmaoooo

my main character sam is transmasc (a trans boy) and my tertiary protag is a lesbian (aubry) and she discovers this as the story goes out and let me to tell you there is nothing more hilarious than 1. writing and thinking extensively about how your character is a lesbian and pouring so much into that while being in total denial about yourself and 2. discovering even more about your own inwards trans feelings by giving your transmasc oc 90% of your personality and also through metaphor and symbolism by making a lot of the story a trans analogy. but wait, the character i see the most of myself in, sam, is transmasc but aubry, the second character i see so much of myself in, is a lesbian so how can these seemingly contradictory things be true simultaneously you ask? well it turns out that im a transmasc lesbian. who couldve saw that coming, right? (me. i saw this coming). still the funniest fucking thing about me like "yeah go ahead and tell yourself a story and accidently awaken something in yourself, this will be so funny and cool" and honestly it is so cool! one of the most writing things ive ever done

10. Does your oc celebrate Pride? How?

yes they do! sam has been to a local pride parade/event at some point with his parents (who are bi4bi). he also has a trans flag hanging up in his room that dual functions as a symbol of pride and also a window curtain that turns his room pink and blue at certain times of the day (its intentional). chelsie celebrates pride as well, mostly through self expression like with her clothing and style but she loves pride events too and collecting little pride themed objects that end up in random places. i feel like chelsie's way of celebrating pride is chaotic and spontaneous which suits her. both of them have pride themed bracelets and backpack pins, you know the baby queer stuff i love (i still love the baby queer stuff idc) and sam has trans, bi and rainbow themed tie dye shirts he made and loves to wear. aubry has never seen any pride flag or been to an event and she didnt even know gay people existed as well people and not the boogyman or theoretical person she heard about in church until she realized she was gay and met other queer people (and she literally has two dads LOL). but once she does she cant get enough of rainbows and the lesbian flag which in the alternate universe world where shes from no one knows its meant to symbolize queerness. so she gets to walk around with flags and colors that no one recognizes except her and her family. its hilarious, its her own "no one knows im a lesbian" pin. they just think shes from a different country or something (where all the pretty girls are from). sam and chelsie gifted her a lesbian flag through their mail system once she returned home and she cherishes it. mostly, i'd say my characters celebrate pride through living, being who they want to be and uplifting each other amd they love their glitter, music, make up, tie dye shirts, flags and rainbows too

16. Did you ever change an oc's identity when they were already established? Why?

my character's queer identities have been pretty solid since inception and through their development, its one of the things that have changed the least about them. sam used to be some flavor of trans/nonbinary but there are other nonbinary characters in my story now and sam ids with transmasc the most instead of nonbinary. chelsie has always been transfem as far as i can remember although i mightve imagined her cis one single time and then said "nah im gonna trans your gender no way in hell youre cis" when i didnt feel connected to her characterization [transgenderfication beam]. and aubry has remained gay as hell even as she started off as a completely different person that split into two then i used one half of the personality, refurbished it by gave it some religious trauma, pining and autism to create modern aubry then used the other half for something else. everyone else's personalities have started at the surface level idea of who i think they are and deepened and complexified from there and thats even more intricate than i could describe in one sitting and not always specifically about their queer identity

oh i almost forgot! one character (benjamin, aubry's father) has a bi panic awakening after he went through life identifying as gay and instead of a guy being the source of the panic it was aubry's mother (valid, i'd panic if i saw her too). his character started off as gay but aubry didn't hatch from a magic egg or grow from a pumpkin in a patch or fall to earth like a shooting start (amos's many joke versions of the birds and bees, amos is married to benjamin and is her dad #2) so i needed an explanation for that. he also discovers he's polyamorous in the process so good for him! other characters have become noticeably less cis over time but were already kinda gender weird to begin with if i squinted hard enough. like are you really cis if im writing you? be fr

also, sam's parents in my mind

[therummonster]

here's some art! below is gonna be me rambling ^w^

angst rambles, warnings for: mind fuckery, angst, memory loss, possible feelings of helplessness, mutilation maybe, sororicide, and more angst :}

side note, this is written as a script type thing, and meant more for people who are focusing on unicorn mann and ryan. enjoy!

two universes, this is gonna be gore on crack. we take the "100 days as" series, specifically the ones with the slaughter houses run by Farmer Unicorn, then we take the friends series and put that in the same universe!

let me explain. Ryan in the friends universe has the spooky scary spell book of dark magic. easy to transition into body stealing shapeshifter, especially if that same child is fighting a war and suddenly needs to do something super risky.

Unicorn Mann however, he's not a hero. no no no, he's something SOOO much more oh no. he's the terrifying boss of Unicorp. as in, fuck with him and you'll be on the other end of his boomstick for a few seconds before you're a bit of everywhere.

if i decided to draw this guy, it would be holding a minigun one handed level of "oh no no no no no-" vibes.

anyways, Ryan gets 100 days to get out or complete his objective in a farm before he gets found out. usually the objective is just escape, but there have been a few times where he had to destroy a location. such as the pet zoo and lamb chop diner. {breaking point!!}

the important order to see how messed up this can get is the first four, chicken, cow, pig, sheep.

that sheep is special, like the "ohhhh nooo..." of sheep. because that's bluey the sheep! not to be confused with bluey the wolf in this series.

after that event i head canon that he had to take memory loss pills because he couldn't function with out breaking down. {the sheep one made me go "yo should someone check on him? is.. is he alright? my goodness gravy..."}

but he starts acting tired and he keeps forgetting more stuff. and Ryan? oooo boy. the sheep farm destroyed both of them mentally...

Ryan stopped trying to save the other creatures in the slaughter houses, because the stakes were literally rigged for him to be the one to escape in the sheep co-op slaughter house.

the pink sheep he was doing the co-op slaughter house with literally 180 no scoped into lava when it died. Ryan got to witness that through a window of glass after trying to convince them that he'd find another way to save them.

more info: Unicorn Mann doesn't have magic, because "Santa Claus" has his wish magic. but Farmer Unicorn still knows how exactly to deal with it and keep him from using the magic, he also knows the consequences. as in, he got wished OUT OF EXISTENCE BY THE END OF THE EPISODE.

but he still came back, showing that being wished out of life is temporary. {this gives me more angst ideas, but that's on a different tangent that could probably get me shot.}

the butchers are horrific, they are supposed to be humans but it seems more like horrible accidents that wear bags over their heads to hide the fact they are bloody walking meat. and no, that's not the british slang bloody.

and i almost forgot to talk about the bosses. such as, Gertrude, Burtha, Big Sheepus, Bently, Honky Horse, BIG FEEESH, Big Fish, Weeper, Borbav, Endie, Ms McMuscle, Buff Zombie Boss, Big Skelerton, Crazed Goat Man, Snow Man, Ghast, McCrushy, Chief Enforcer, General Jim, Elf, Chargin' Chuck, Mecha Bat, Mecha Spider, Mecha-Spider Prime

some of them are well cared for, some of them are robots, others even unicorn mann in his distorted state goes "yeah this bitch crazy, anyways! you're the sacrifice right now!"

now to what i hope will be not me rambling about the farms.

Ryan being a very unstable and cold being barely holding it together, Unicorn on the verge of a break down. Ryan shifts back into human, Unicorn Mann sees, and is just flooded with memories.

he's fine. {i definitely don't like to pull this move when he's about to kill Ryan by blowing his head off.}

as an extra little side bit, the pink sheep being a combo of Pink and Kara :} cause kara is a ram, and pink is pink! so why not have a horrific realization that your pseudo sister and one of your friends is dead and it's your fault?

this is all just ramblings and ideas, thank cheese stick for dragging me back here and getting me to reveal the fact i have this despite the anxieties.

[cinderella-ish]

The ways purity culture intersects with OCD are striking.

Let me tell you about what it's like to be a person with OCD. Our brains are thought-generating machines. We think more thoughts than we can feasibly process.

Most people are able to filter out the important thoughts from the random, background thoughts. A person with OCD will latch on to some of those random, background thoughts - usually the absolute worst, most upsetting ones - and ruminate on them.

We do this because we care about whatever that thought is. In my case, I obsessed over causing harm. I constantly worried that I had hit someone with my car but didn't know it. Or that if I were ever near a dangerous item (an axe, a chainsaw, or a firearm), I was sure to hurt someone badly. I was in a state of constant vigilance against my own actions and thoughts, and I was convinced I secretly wanted to hurt people even though that was literally the most upsetting thought to me.

And then, when we find a compulsion that temporarily soothes the thought, we repeat that ad infinitum, hoping we'll rescue ourselves if we just do the thing just right, or enough times, or completely for the rest of time (as in the case of an avoidance compulsion). I just had to never be near a chainsaw, or an axe, or a firearm, or a car.

Thinking these things didn't ever mean I wanted to hurt people. It actually meant exactly the opposite. I was obsessing over those particular thoughts because they were so deeply upsetting to me.

I now own a cleaver, and I'm comfortable using it in the kitchen and sharpening it myself. (I know this is not revolutionary for most people, but to me, a cleaver is just a mini axe. Those things are were scary!)

I now know those thoughts are a normal part of having a brain, and exploring them in a safe way (i.e. through fiction) is actually incredibly helpful to me, because it allows me to have agency as I explore thoughts and concepts that used to trigger bad obsessive spirals. For example, when I was going through exposure and response prevention therapy (ERP) for OCD, one of the exercises I would do was carrying one of my intrusive thoughts to its natural conclusion.

Well, what if I DID hit someone with my car? Well...first, I'd try to help them, call 911, administer the first aid I know, etc... If I was at fault, I might face charges, which would be a hardship. It would be harder if the person I hit suffered serious harm. I would have to live with that for the rest of my life. And of course, it would be even more painful if the accident happened without me knowing. BUT worrying about it constantly won't actually change whether it will happen. I've now given enough of my brainspace to this, and I won't need to worry about it again unless it actually happens.

I imagine the current purity culture must be incredibly hard for people whose OCD is not managed, and may be pushing people with a propensity for OCD into some bad spirals.

There's also the fact that survivors of trauma often use role play or fiction as a way of working through their trauma.

And NO ONE should have to disclose their trauma or medical conditions for their engagement with fiction to be "valid." Everyone worries sometimes, and fiction can be a way to work through those worries.

Fiction can also provide catharsis, especially tragedies and "dark" fiction. We all need to be able to experience the full spectrum of emotions, and fiction can help us do that.

I also think it's totally valid to criticize fiction. There are a lot of pieces of fiction (all media) that I personally find irredeemable. And it's literally all problematic (because nothing is perfect!). My beloved Fruits Basket has tons of very problematic elements. But there's a wide gulf between "I won't read that" and "it shouldn't exist."

But with that said, it's important to be aware of the current climate. There's a huge difference between saying "this trope is frustrating and here's why" or "this novel by a well-established author didn't successfully make the point it wanted to make" vs. "this fanfic is Bad therefore the author is Bad and anyone who engages with them is Bad and deserves whatever consequences they get."

(Plus, I think the Netflix AtLA adaptation is proof that fiction needs problematic elements and characters to have any heart at all. Give me sexist Sokka and angry Katara and an Aang who runs away and murderous, angry Zuko any day over what we got! Characters need room to GROW! And "problematic" characters show real people there's a way forward!)

(This isn't even getting into the roots of purity culture in colonial, Evangelical Christian ways of thinking. Purity culture is, by its very nature, a tool of the oppressors.)

I really think everyone needs to truly internalize this:

Fictional characters are objects.

They are not people. You cannot "objectify" them, because they have no personhood to be deprived of. They have no humanity to be erased. You cannot "disrespect" them, because they are not real.

[the-blorb-system]

Most of ours also at least partially identify with their source, but we do enforce some basic level of separation with everyone, because we already got to a position where it seriously risked our life once cause someone didn't realize that he is in fact, not immortal, and that he cannot fly anymore.

We also have many from cartoons, or at least, by cartoon I mean animated. I assume that's what you mean by cartoons.

We have a group, the old 'original' group of 6 Introjects that were the 'original' system in a way before everything was revealed and more were split. All six of them were born of a 'cartoonish' show.

It's called digimon frontier btw if you ever wanna give it a watch, it's about 40 23-minute episodes and there's one movie whose sort of not canonical in the original timeline of the show, which I didn't watch as obsessively as the show itself (over 60 times in dub, about 39 in sub. J.p's JPN VA sound too much like a sick little victorian child with a cold).

The show has a unique concept with hurt and magic, especially that it came straight after tamers who pretty much dump trauma on your face like it's scorching water. Frontier sadly, was not originally meant to be a "saving the world" sort of season of Digimon, but instead some sort of "battle tournament" season.

They changed too much, and they neglected many of the Characters. Takuya's trauma and stress as the literal leader whose job is to keep all of those kids alive and the world saved at age 11, is not addressed at all. There's only one time where we see him showcase something that's akin to a PTSD based panic attack in the whole show, and even that he somehow managed to repress despite literally almost dying from what caused him this panic. As for the others- the twins does have something quite fleshed, but it feels amiss to a way I can't Express. We don't know how did their relationship with their parents changed at all- especially to koji who suffered all his life under the belief his mother was dead by his father's words- the only parental figure he had. If I was him, my trust in him will be nonexistent. And we don't know what koichi think of their dad and if he even want to pursue a connection with him. They left it all too ambiguous. All of Tommy's character development just get erased constantly and he is always seen 'growing' in the same aspect he did two minutes ago with no Actual development, because his entire purpose is dependency on the rest of the cast and a weak try to grow a backbone and self confidence and independence. Zoe's and J.p's Characters are just wasted potential, j.p's moreso than Zoe's. J.p's character just get mistreatment after mistreatment, and there's no information about his childhood or anything about him aside what is his 'character growth' meant to be. But there's small hints that he was meant to be more important- he's a main cast member after all. We learn he live with his aunt, which raise many questions about why he doesn't live at home with his parents, and he's very cagey about info about his home life as seen in episode 9. But there's little to no info, because he isn't "the main main character/s"

Takuya's character showcase many symptoms of ADHD, something that I think is a somewhat common trait among the goggled leaders of digimon, but he unlike them also gave a small tap into the self frustration of being unable to focus and carry things to term, and of course the cut-offs in attention, unlike most depictions who only give show to the hyperness.

All 6 members of the 'original' group, have immense traumatic experiences. They all split around when we were roughly 8 to 9 years old, I don't know the exact date as I only discovered them when I was 12 years old, by accident. The mind of a 8 year old should not even know half of the things that some of them experienced even exist, let alone know it by name. And I suppose I didn't, E. Kept me very sheltered from what he could, and they all did too in their own way under the secret of dissocation. But still, the trauma is there. All of them are still present and alive and try to keep living life as good as they can manage in our current situation, but it's hard. Sure stereotypes are very rough, even if it doesn't happen often as their source isn't very well known at all.

I fully understand that tbh, shame fakeclaimers don't remember or know that and target it.

And don't get me started on having different memories than your source...

- Digi

Damn...

It's a lot, yeah. I never actually watched Frontier, actually. Sometimes I wish I had, but I got so attached to Digimon Adventure that all the other versions felt wrong to me- I didn't like how the rules of things changed or were contradicted and the change in the nature of the adventure or the types of humour and character arcs being so wildly differently defined. Was definitely biased, and I wouldn't be surprised if there were some introjects somewhere, dormant or hiding, but idk.

I do understand relying on a show so heavily and analyzing the characters and their traits to a point of internalizing them when/if those characters lead to introjects. I used to make charts and pages of basic character dynamics and social status and personal development for characters from Digimon Adventure and 02.

It actually makes a lot of sense why you would want that separation, actually, after seeing your reasons. I think we tend away from the idea of total separation because the characters are what define the basis of most of our fictives' personalities and belief systems and values and experiences and behavior. That's what they started with and they don't want to be separated from that. They don't want tilt to be lost that they came from, oftentimes, and animated series because that was their life and that's often how they ground themselves to their sense of identity.

It's been a more inherent thing for them to understand things that don't carry over well to this reality and this body, if uncomfortable, so we just haven't thought about it from that perspective. No one's likely to pull dangerous stunts or break the law or eat poison that they were once impervious to when in front because there's a sort of.... osmosis of memories that happens when they split, I guess? Most new alters already have an understanding of who the host is, what the body is, the most pivotal experiences the body's had, who the biological family is, the basics of how the world works to our collective understanding. Sort of like how people can be amnesiacs and forget who they are, but they still know their language, they still know what most foods they like are, they still know basic skills and most social communication they've developed, etc. There's like a baseline of how to understand this world that most new alters just... have. It's kind of weird.

I kind of wish I discovered the system sooner, sometimes. I know there's a new level of distress and confusion that comes with that, but it would have been nice to know who was there before dormancy occurred, to at least have said hi intentionally or have had a chance to bond beyond what I thought was just imaginings and pretend scenarios with characters I liked. I'll never know if that was just me daydreaming or not. I didn't discover anyone until I was 22. Is what it is though 🤷‍♀️

-Lizzy