#Mira Maunders

[miradelletarot]

This Christmas, I find myself being contemplative.

Two days after Christmas last year, I officially walked out the door, and separated from my husband, letting go of a 16 year marriage in the hopes that I could turn my life around and find my happiness.

It was the scariest and most difficult decision I ever made. I had no idea if I would be okay, if I would fail. If it weren't for my best friends offering their home to me, and my 1 boss buying a car for me to use to get to work, I wouldn't be where I am today.

It's not been an easy year by any means. But, compared to where I was exactly a year ago today, I'm so much better. I'm healthier, happier, and more stable. I'm still not completely on my own, but that's ok. I'm in a supportive and positive environment and I'm growing. I'm in therapy, I paid off my car this week, and I opened a high yield savings account. I'm making moves for my future in a very big way.

I see where my ex is at and it's the same struggles as always. He's kept himself in the same pattern of inadequacy, and I'm so glad I got out.

On top of it all, I cut contact with my parents and my brother. All these toxic, unhealthy connections are being removed and I have never been happier.

The only thing I find I'm missing is full independence. I want a home of my own. I want a job that can allow me to afford an apartment or a house.

I'm also missing companionship. 16 years with a partner then suddenly going without really hits a certain way. It's a void that can't be filled with family or friends unfortunately. Not to be a pessimist, but I don't have a lot of confidence that I'll find someone that will meet my now-high expectations. Gale kinda ruined that for me lol. That's the bar, unrealistic as it may be.

Despite that, however, I'm happy. Truly happy. I no longer blame myself for the failings of my marriage. I gave it my best. I really tried to anyway. I told my ex that I wanted couples counseling. He declined. That was my condition for staying. He said he wasn't interested so as far as I'm concerned, he threw away the relationship. Not me. My mediation is in January so hopefully it'll be over by then.

So many of you have been supportive and loving as I went thru all of this. I am grateful for the friendships I've made on here. I wish I was around more to interact, but please know that I appreciate the help out of y'all and your kindness. This community has lifted me up in ways that I never expected.

Thank you, everyone. Thanks for being here while I grow.

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and have a spectacular New Year. ❤️

[miradelletarot]

ya knowwwwwwwwwwww.... I mean, I'm just saying. I'm so glad for you if that's the life you want, but...as someone who was basically brainwashed into believing this is the life I needed to have in order to be a worthy person in society I will never be Ok (personally) with "traditional values" bullshit. If that's your jam and toast, you go right ahead, Skippy McJenkins. But many of us who were forced into that life, and have gotten out of it (or want to but for reasons...CAN'T) I can understand why these songs exist. Some of us are trying to take our power back, and show that we can be so much more than just a baby factory, destined to only wash our husband's underwear, and have dinner on the table by 5pm.

[miradelletarot]

Listen y'all, I need someone to make a set of bg3 tarot cards. Desperately.

But I STG, please PLEASE do not make Gale 'The Magician'. He is a much better representation of The Hanged Man imho. I mean I get it. He's a wizard. A magician. Sure. But that doesn't embrace the depth of his character compared to what the card means.

I really need to find the list bestie and I made... We outlined a whole bunch of the characters at one point. It was a fun project tbh.

If there are any other tarot readers in the fandom, I'd love your input. Maybe, we can combine our knowledge, and then find a willing artist to take on the idea. A true, fandom deck made by and for tarot readers.

I see so many decks for popular media, and so many of them just slap a character on a card without a deeper understanding of the meanings, and how it connects to the character. It makes me sad tbh because I can't fully enjoy using those decks.

It would be one hell of an undertaking of course, but... It would just make me so happy to see a thoughtfully composed tarot deck for bg3.

[miradelletarot]

Ughh this is gonna be a messy post, but I want to say some things that are on my heart rn.

First of all, this blog will always and forever support LGBTQIA+. No intentional erasure of any kind will happen here. I just want to make that clear.

All my life (despite a very Conservative, bigoted and r*cist upbringing with silent gen and boomer parents,) I have always fought to love everyone. To treat everyone the way I wanted to be treated. With love and respect.

I spent my whole life with a binary mindset, trying to understand and learn about all the different pronouns and identities. I still have a lot to learn and understand. I'm getting there. (And I hope you'll be patient with me as I continue to grow).

Now, here I sit, months after discovering my own demisexuality... And I'm straight. Talk about feeling like a round peg trying to fit thru a square hole. My identity means so much to me right now because it's belonged to everyone else for all these years. I was brainwashed into believing I had no autonomy. I'm finally in a place where I can reclaim what's been taken from me. (I won't go into how Christianity hurt me...but let's just say, I have a lot of trauma bc of my old faith that ties into a lot of this. I'd need to make an hr long video just to unpack it all.)

What's great is that I have been met with nothing less than love, respect, and kindness, welcomed with open arms without terms and conditions from this community. On and off Tumblr. More than I've experienced in any community ever. Even more so than the witchy/pagan community.

I guess I just want to say that I love y'all. A whole fucking lot. Thank you for making me feel seen. Thank you for your love.

And I hope it's ok to say this but... I'm excited as hell to celebrate this year's Pride month, no longer just as an ally...but as a part of the Ace community.

Thanks for giving this odd, funky-shaped peg a place to call home.

Happy Pride. 🏳️‍🌈

[miradelletarot]

Evacuating

My ass usually doesn't leave when there is a hurricane because, typically, my area doesn't ever get a direct hit. Plus, I am far enough inland that we don't get flooding or storm surge.

But this one? This one looks like it's headed right for my area, and people who usually do not leave, and often diminish the severity of these storms, ARE LEAVING. My ex is one of those people. When even that guy tells me he's taking the kids and getting the hell out of dodge, I know it's bad. Esp because their house is not in a marked evacuation zone. People go there to shelter if they are asked to evac. So, if *he's* leaving? I'm not sticking around either.

I was fortunate enough to get my ticket changed for my flight that was supposed to leave later this week. Now, i'm just dealing with tight financials and lodging. I'm praying i can find something that won't cost me the rest of my funds because I already scrimped for this trip as it is. If my ass has to sleep in the airport then I just might.

But, if you don't see/hear a ton from me after Tuesday that's why.

In the meantime, I FINALLY finished updating one of my chapters for The Weave and the Vines, so be on the lookout for that. If you haven't read the OG chapter "Under the Moonlight," now's your chance to do that before I put it in the vault. =]

[miradelletarot]

Ok but really though...

I'm going to try and make this make sense. Art inspires people. This art happens to be interactive. Sometimes you can have people in your life screaming at you to make a change, to do something better for yourself, but often those messages are better heard through art, or music.

Many of you may think 'it's just a video game,' but for someone like me, this was an escape from my reality that hurt me so much. I connected with Gale as a person because we experienced very similar types of pain. Sure, he's hot ASF, and I'd give my body to him in a second, but honestly? He's a comfort to me. He said all the right things to make my brain suddenly go 'why the hell am I allowing myself to be hurt like this?' 6 months later, I'm not quite on my own two feet, but I am thriving in comparison. And all it took was a few words from a video game character to help me see that I could have something better.

So, when I say that Gale changed my life... I mean it.

I’m losing my mind

[miradelletarot]

Another day...brainrotted all to hell with Gale 🫠

I'm basically SpongeBob at this point the only things in my head are:

Breathing

Gale Dekarios

[miradelletarot]

Based on a conversation I've seen come up a lot lately:

There is NOTHING WRONG with being vanilla. There is NOTHING WRONG with being monogamous. These are not things that need "fixing". Just like any other relationship and sexual preferences. You like what you like, and whatever you're comfortable with is OKAY!

I don't get why everyone gets so pressed about how someone else fucks another human.

Y'all need to calm down, mmk?

[miradelletarot]

My fellow writers,

Some of you know that I'm (slowly) revising The Weave and the Vines. As my writing improved, I felt the need to go back and make the story better. Not that it was bad necessarily the first time, but now that my writing has gotten a little bit better I feel like the story deserves to be revisited so it can have better flow and continuity and just sound better in general.

When I was talking to my best friend last night though she made it sound like that was a mistake. From her perspective, she said that would take the story away from the people who read it before my edits, especially because I'm making significant changes to some of the chapters. The changes aren't necessarily changing the story, the story is the same, but I guess I'm giving them a facelift in a way.

I guess now I'm second-guessing myself. I worry that I may have made a mistake and I should have just left it well enough alone.

So what do y'all think? I merely see this as me improving upon something that was born out of a lot of intense emotion, and now I'm refining it. But maybe that's the wrong way to look at it I don't know.

[miradelletarot]

I'm gonna tag along on this discussion because I have a LOT of thoughts on it.

Also, if you disagree that's cool! Don't yuck my yum, this is just my thought process on this whole Dad Gale discussion. You are free to have your own perspective.

Now that we got that out of the way, I firmly believe that Gale is...INDIFFERENT about having children. Though, I lean into the idea that maybe after a while with just him and his partner, and a considerable amount of time healing from his past trauma (not only from his time with Mystra, etc. but also from the tadpole nonsense,) I think he COULD be receptive to having children! Let's look at the discussion with Halsin to start off (since that's how the discussion with Gale gets triggered) : Tav approaches Gale about Halsin's proposal to be a third in the relationship. Gale's first thought is bringing a child into the mix b/c Gale is a monogamous lover. The idea of another romantic partner in the dynamic just isn't on his radar so it isn't the first thing that comes to mind. When Tav clarifies, he sets that VERY FIRM BOUNDARY that he is perhaps a bit more old-fashioned, and that he only desires to give his whole heart to just one person. If Tav can't reciprocate that then the relationship won't work, and Tav has to make a choice. He's extremely clear about his desires there, even if it leans a little apologetically because we know Gale just wants to please his partner (often doing things he might not be comfy with *cough* Drow Twins *cough*) to seek Tav's approval and make them happy. In this case with Halsin though, he doesn't sugarcoat anything because let's face it...there is only so far he's willing to go with Tav before it truly goes out of his comfort zone. All of this is prefaced to bring up the "father material" stuff. This is where my HC takes over a bit here, but it's still plausible imho. When he says he doesn't consider himself father material, he IMMEDIATELY follows that with "Besides, our lives aren't what you would call 'settled.'" This statement is not as firm and clear-cut as his discussion with you about Halsin is. I honestly get the feeling that during his time with Mystra, she really took a lot of his wants, needs, and desires away, or made him feel like he had to put all of those things in a box, tucked away into the dark corners of his mind, and left them to be forgotten about because it wasn't what SHE wanted. He grew accustomed to acquiescing to HER desires that anything he wanted was disregarded. Becoming a father *could* have been one of those things.

Let's also consider that by Act 2, Mystra says 'Go kys, Gale,' so his state of mind from then on is 'perhaps I should go blow up because it's better for everyone.' Why in the hells would you wanna bring a child into the world with Tav assuming you're not gonna be around to share that with them? Even in Act 3, when he promises that home-cooked meal after the absolute nonsense is over, the dev notes state that he is basically lying to Tav because he still believes he won't be around to actually be with them. At this point, there is no way in hell that Gale would be interested in having children.

Now, because everything after the game is over is purely 100% head canon, we can only assume what life will be like for him and Tav post-epilogue. It's my theory that after a period of time (at minimum a couple of years,) him AND tav would have had a reasonable amount of time to settle into their lives, heal from their past trauma, and possibly get some therapy. Then and ONLY then, do I think Gale would feel OK enough to consider having a baby with Tav (whatever that looks like: preg tav, adoption, surrogate...pick your poison here).

If/When that time comes, he would make a spectacular father imho. My guess is that Gale would probably freak out a bit, run to every bookstore in town (and some outside of town if he really wanted to,) and get every text imaginable on the subject. If Tav is pregnant, Gale would 1000% be the most attentive partner, doting on them every chance he gets. When the baby arrives (again, whatever that looks like in your HC's,) he'd be right there helping with the baby as much as he can get away with.

I, of course, expect him to .exe and go into a mini existential crisis the first time Baby Dekarios drools/colors/rips/otherwise damages a book, but he'll get over it...eventually. The bookshelves, and anything else in baby's reach will have some sort of baby-safe enchantment on it to protect anything from getting damaged (or baby getting hurt even).

All in all, I support the dad!gale HC's, but our sweet wizard needs some time to heal from all of his trauma before I think he would be ready to parent a child. I imagine he'll be a bit overzealous at first (like most new parents can be...ask me how I know. lol) and Tav will have to reel him in a bit here and there, but everything he does is with Tav and Baby in mind because he loves them, and that's just the kinda guy he is. Not to mention Tara would fireball his ass if he was anything less than a doting partner and father.

Also, adding to this long ass post, I HC that Gale's dad fucked off on him and Morena, so if Gale and Tav have a baby, he'd likely want to prove that he can be a better father than his was to him. Learn what *not* to do, and provide for his family. Not to mention that it would be hella adorable for any of their children who are magically inclined to start their first year at Blackstaff, and they go there with daddy, dropping them off in the children's class hall before he dashes off to teach his own students. It becomes a sort of cute thing they bond over as kiddo grows up. My final though here though: I *did* mention that he would be indifferent about children. He would be a fantastic dad, but he doesn't NEED to have children with Tav in order to have a fulfilling life. I think he would be happy regardless of whatever they decide to do, and that's the beauty of it. As long as he has his magic, Waterdeep, Tav, Tara and his mom, he's happy as fuck, and everything else is just icing on the proverbial cake.

I have been thinking about this for a *very* long time, and I have had a LOT of thoughts about it so sorry for the tangent, but I'd love to hear your thoughts on the matter too (so long as they are respectful, please...this topic really brings out the angry and feral in people).

I just binged most of your writing just before my test lol and I loved it <<<3333

Just * chef's kiss *

I need to know your thoughts on dad gale. Cuz when you ask him about adding a third person to your relationship and he instantly assumes it's kid is so cute.

omg thank you so much!!

it's so funny because there is an instance in the game where he talks about how he DOESN'T want kids, but aside from Wyll, I feel like he would be the best parent out of all the companions?

he obviously has a HUGE thirst for knowledge, which he would pass along to his children. tim downie also said that in his own gale backstory, gale was bullied as a child, so i feel like gale would help lift his children up and make sure that they are proud of who they are and what they like, even if it's "different" than everybody else. he would be SO supportive as well, and would do anything to help his kids be able to experience what they want to know about.

i feel like he also would let his kids get away with a lot lmao. like he definitely is goofy fun dad, and his partner is probably going to be the more strict parent (especially since we see him with the "oh yeah...uh...stop that?" with tara and her pigeons lmao. like he does not care). there would always be laughter in the house because he'd always be having so much fun with the kids.

i also think he would be really sensitive as a dad, and show his kids that feelings and the like are normal and healthy, and encourages his kids to speak their minds on things. lots of hugs and kisses and comfort.

family game nights/family dinners/outings togethers are a must. his family would be tightknit, and i think because he is so kind, they would be close forever. he cherishes family, especially since he was so hurt and traumatized by mystra, he didn't know that love like this was possible, or that he was worthy of it.

[miradelletarot]

I really wish this headache would go away.

I also wish I had money for another Tim Downie Cameo bc I have a mighty need for Gale to comfort me when I wake up in the middle of the night with a panic attack.

[miradelletarot]

Just saying hi to the mutuals.

I'm grateful for y'all, and ily. I hope you have the best day ever. 💜

[miradelletarot]

Ok friends...

Despite how fucking terrified I am, I will declare that if I make any loopy asf posts, or say anything that's far more unhinged than my usual just ignore it.

Unless it's funny asf, and would make me Tumblr Famous™️ 😂

Seriously though, I have a couple of prompts to get to, but they won't be done till next week probably. So, if you've sent me something to work on please know that it's not forgotten. 💜

And if anyone feels so inclined please bless my TL with as much Gale content as possible 😆

I delivered three kids so a 30 min outpatient surgery should be a cakewalk right? 😰😬😶‍🌫️

[miradelletarot]

Hey frens =>

I'll literally pay someone to make me a Gale Dekarios themed Sticker Chart.

I need to motivate my ass to exercise (I can't for at least 2 weeks, and it has to be very light like walking or yoga...) but I am legit gonna buy rainbow stickers on Amazon, and make it like one of those reward charts when your kid uses the potty or some shit.

I need a way to motivate my ass to exercise again, and I need Gale's face staring at me until I succumb. I am also not crafty or creative.

[miradelletarot]

Sry for being kinda not here as much, y'all. Social media in general has been overwhelming lately. I've seen those tags in those positivity posts, and lemme just say that it really warms my heart to know that y'all still think of me over here. I feel bad for not participating, but by the time I get around to that stuff everyone i woulda tagged is basically already tagged. Plus, I'm just a tired noodle, and I wanna turn my brain off.

So! Hopefully this reaches y'all, but if you see this, consider yourself loved and appreciated by me. You share your art, stories, lives. It's such a beautiful, human thing to do. A simple thing, and yet so huge. To let strangers into your mind and heart. To share something so uniquely you, across miles and oceans, this silly app connects us.

It's the little things.

These little opportunities to connect and understand. The stuff we often take for granted because we are so caught up in the hustle of work, to live and survive. Yet, these moments, where someone just decides one day to tag their friends and start a chain of love and positivity in a world so bleak.

I love that. I hope we never stop.

if you see this, I'd love it if you could comment on something you're excited about. What are you working on? What are you looking forward to?

Me, I'm in a couple zines, and focusing on working on those projects. I have a WIP of something I'm working on too that's based off a song by The Midnight called Last Train. I'll try and share more about that soon if I get around to it. Other than that, I'm working and dealing with life. Lots of good things happening. Lots of progress. I only hope it continues from here.

[miradelletarot]

My productivity at work lately has been so bad. I'm glad it's just a small office with only me doing the work but since I've been back in just so...*ehhh*.

I am requesting motivation from my Tumblr friends. I will repay your kind gestures with head pats, hugs, and sweet nothings in your general direction 💕