#some of the stuff that can easily push him into a full breakdown: snapping a cd where he has to watch you monster

[kidknux]

TFRQ Blaster, a bot that i know almost nothing about but boy who I was madly possessed to design anyways. He’s of a similar build as Soundwave, turning into a slightly smaller CD player, and for part of the war he served as a deployer captain in much the same way.

It’s a shame that CDs are so fragile.

After an unfortunate incident destroyed his team, Blaster was left unable to work on the field or with new deployers without breaking down. Because of that he was relegated to work behind the lines, primarily recording and transmitting messages between the Autobot leaders and their troops. It was while he was working with communications that he met the archivist, Rewind, one of his closest friends after the incident. Other bots he’s close to are Rewind’s conjunx, Chromedome, and fellow music lover Jazz. He’s a lot more skittish and easily set off than he used to be, something he tries to cover up by playing up his upbeat nature.

His paranoia has also given his pirate radio station incredible security. Unwilling to do nothing about the war and their own corruption, Ultra Magnus recruited Blaster as part of his own group, working to destabilize the government and purge it of any remnants of the old functionalist senate. Under the fake name Twincast, he leaks information on the darkest parts of the council, broadcasting their skeletons in the closet out where anyone on cybertron can see them. Naturally, Twincast is a highly wanted bot, and Blaster keeps his secret from everyone short of Ultra Magnus himself out of fear that spreading the information any farther could lead to him being offlined or worse.

[shorkbrian]

What's Deku like when he gets jealous?

Prelude - This is just an excuse for me to write subby(-ish), angry baby boy with a mommy kink, sorry. Want to put a little reminder here that this is fiction, and it’s depicting a bad relationship

Seriously you guys, I feel like I need to reiterate that a relationship like this isn’t healthy. Your partner should not cling to you 24/7, they should not try and manipulate your feelings. They can communicate their feelings in such a way (Baby, I’m feeling a little lonely right now, would you be up for some cuddling?) that doesn’t force you into rushing to assure them that you still love them because otherwise they’ll have a complete breakdown. I feel like this fic is an example of some unhealthy codependency stuff. I don’t condone this stuff, it’s not good, it’s very unhealthy. 

Pls, pls, if you feel like your relationship might be bordering into something where you feel pressured to cater to your partner in ways you’re uncomfortable with out of fear that they’ll have a breakdown, talk to someone. Anyone. A therapist, a friend, a trusted adult, anyone. This is fiction, and it isn’t healthy, nor good

Pairing - Izuku Midoriya X Reader

Warnings - NSFW, unhealthy relationship, dubcon, co-dependency. 

Music - https://open.spotify.com/track/2hfoyc7ve6xM4ZEiNIiU1B?si=w7PXedqHQPqUFPQTDcEYuA

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Needy

When Izuku sees another man talking to his girlfriend (it could be anyone, a store clerk, your coworker, the guy delivering pizza, your brother for christsake) he gets so incredibly needy. 

Pulling at your clothes, whining when you have to leave for work in the morning, clinging to you like a child and refusing to let go.

He makes you late for work sometimes, working himself up when he wakes up in bed to find you getting ready in the bathroom, stumbling to your side and draping his arms around you before begging you not to leave. Acts like a petulant baby while you try to make coffee, grabbing your mug and putting it somewhere out of reach with a frown (if you can’t make coffee, you can’t leave. he knows that’s not how it works but he doesn’t want you to go, Izuku’s willing to try anything to get you to stay), his eyes so hurt and upset when all you do is huff and grab another mug from the cupboard.

Izuku holds you too close when he gets jealous, almost crushing you in his grip when he comes up and hugs you while you’re paying the delivery guy, glaring over your shoulder to make it clear that you’re his. When you’re talking to your brother, Izuku clings to your hand, pulls you into his lap, tries to touch (sometimes inappropriately) so much that you find yourself annoyed with him, batting him away so you can have a conversation with your brother.

And that hurts Izuku even more, feeds the flames of his jealousy until they’re an all-consuming fire of bitterness and insecurity.

The man is sure to swing by your office on his lunch breaks, bringing you your favorite foods to show you how good he is to you, even sitting and eating with you like a good boyfriend. He makes sure to be overly affectionate, holding up his chopsticks to your mouth, cooing at you to open so he can feed you, giving you a peck on this lips after you take a bite. If he finishes his own food before you do, Izuku spends the rest of lunch kissing at your neck, occasionally stopping to rest his head against your shoulder like a sleepy toddler. 

One time, your coworker had passed by the break room, and made eye contact with you while Izuku was trying to suck at your neck with his arms wrapped around your shoulders. It made you blush so hard, and you couldn’t talk to that coworker for at least a week. Obviously, that’s always Izuku’s goal with such overt PDA whenever he stops by your office.

It’s hard not to get short with him, shrug him off or let you irritation show in your voice when you tell him to give you some space. Izuku takes that personally, somehow wiggles himself even closer while pouting and trying to make excuses for why he needs to be in your space.

When you do snap, raising your voice a bit at your boyfriend and telling him you’d like to watch the movie alone, Izuku rears back from your body, eyes wide and breathing hard, as if you’d physically struck him. You don’t feel guilty though, he’s been hounding you all week, never giving you room to breathe, initiating sex every single night just so you can feed his craving for your touch.

He leaves the bedroom, sulks off to the living room with his tail between his legs, letting you finally take a breath.

You only finish an episode or two before his back, clutching at his sleeves, tears in his eyes, sniffling and looking so small. He’s past 6′, a full grown man, and yet he’s shrinking in on himself so much that he looks far shorter than you.

“Are you mad at me?” 

And of course you aren’t, not really. But you’re a full grown adult, and it’s not healthy for Izuku to be so dependent on you, so clingy and needy and possessive.

“I’m not mad Izuku, I just wanted some space.” You sigh.

“You’re ignoring me.” And his tears hit full force, bubbling over and running down his cheeks, and your heart drops.

He’s manipulating you, always does. You’re not stupid, you know this isn’t a good relationship - Izuku’s dependent and jealous of anyone who isn’t him, and you enable that behavior, don’t do enough to curb it. But he’s a full grown man, you aren’t his mom. 

Izuku doesn’t agree.

“’M sorry mommy, I just want to be close to you... please don’t make me leave.” And he looks so pathetic, so desolate standing there in the doorway, cheeks wet and red from crying.

A beat passes while you war with yourself.

But you can’t ever seem to uphold your own boundaries.

“C’mere, it’s okay.”

And he’s by your side in a flash, climbing onto the bed, face-planting into your chest, his hands desperately petting at your neck and hair as if he’s trying to soothe himself. It’s an awkward position, but it’s one that he’s comfortable with. you know trying to encourage him to put his face anywhere else would result in a giant fit.

He’s crying heavily, tears soaking your shirt, mumbling about how he’s sorry, how he needs you, how you’re making him sad and feel so unloved.

You feel a little bit guilty, even though you know you shouldn’t 

Stroking his hair, you making shushing sounds, trying to calm him. “Shhh shhh shh, it’s okay Izu. I love you, you’re okay.”

“But I’m not!” He cries, head lifting, fixing you with a pouty glare. His eyes are puffy and red, he’s biting his lip, and he looks like a man again, angry at you. “You’re getting tired of me and you don’t want to date me anymore.” Izuku’s lip wobbles, and then he’s burying his face back into your chest unhappily.

“Izu... no baby...” You start. “I love you so much, I’m not breaking up with you.”

Although, maybe you should. 

The man shakes his head, and you want to huff at his childish display, but you know he’s sensitive, know he’s a bit more emotional than most, always has been.

“You don’t love me. You keep talking to other guys, and you won’t spend time with me anymore. You don’t even want to have sex with me, I know you don’t, I can tell.” He accuses.

That’s not the truth at all, and part of you knows it. He’s good at fucking you, knows how to play your body like the most treasured instrument. Izuku’s so enthusiastic, so eager to please, going down on you with determination to make you writhe and scream on his tongue. When you pull him away, he’s blushing, panting, almost dizzy from the rush of making you cum.. 

“Tell me it feels good. Did I do it right? Did I make you cum?” and you’re nodding your head, pussy still pulsing lazily from the aftershocks.

He always grinds himself against the bed, and it must feel good because by the time he pushes inside, he’s barely able to stop himself from cumming at the oversensitive squeeze of your cunt.

But he always makes sure to make you cum one last time before he finds his own release.

And it’s not true that you won’t spend time with him, or that you’re always talking to other guys. You hardly talk to anyone anymore, Izuku even finding problems with your female friends (”They aren’t good for you, I bet they’re talking about you behind your back. I mean, look how easily they talk about that one girl when she's not hanging out with you all.”)

“Izuku, you’re being a dumb baby, get up here.” Sometimes the only way to shut up his insecurities is to take control, so you do. Tugging on his hair until he pushes upward, you find his mouth, kissing him deep.

When you pull away, eyes closed, lips warm from how intently Izuku kissed you back, you can feel your boyfriend hovering, mere inches away from your face.

“Show me you love me. I want.... I want you to show me mommy. Make me feel loved, please?”

Ah, so that’s how he wants you.

When he gets angry, upset with you, Izuku resorts to name calling. not the vicious, cruel, bullying kind. No, he calls you mommy, expects you to take care of him, make him feel good and shower him in love ‘til he cries, until he doesn’t have to doubt you.

You always do whenever he calls you mommy. There’s an underlying threat whenever he insists on the dynamic, a simmering malice that you can barely pick up on. A little bit of you is... almost afraid. But if you’re quick to adapt to the role he wants you to play, as you always are, nothing comes of that hint of hostility hiding beneath his cry-baby cover-up.

“Turn over then baby.” You tell him, pushing at his chest.

He does so easily, watching with wide eyes as you rise to your knees, beginning to strip seductively, starting with your shirt.

“Keep your eyes on mommy, want you to watch.”

“Okay.” He breathes, a hand falling to his crotch, squeezing at the quickly-developing bulge there.

You allow it for now, more focused on swinging your hips, bringing your shirt over your head sexily, letting it mess up your hair as you tug it off before throwing it off the bed. 

Shimmying your bottoms down, you leave your panties on, shifting to lean against one hip to pull your bottoms the rest of the way off, pointing your toes as you bring them past your feet.

Izuku’s eyes follow the garment, before flicking back to your panties.

They’re nothing special, just simple cotton underwear that keeps you covered, but Izuku thinks you look hot in everything, anything.

“Mommy... want you bad. ‘M hard, please-please fix it.” He whines, bucking his hips up into his hand.

You swat at his hand, and he yelps a little before looking at you with confusion.

“No touching, only mommy gets to do that.”

Izuku nods so quickly his neck pops, which makes you smile a bit. When he’s not being needy or clingy, he’s cute. It’s what drew you to him in the first place, what reeled you in.

You start by running a hand over his clothed chest, dragging fingertips over his nipples, watching as your boyfriend puts his hands above his head and lays back, eyes fixed on you.

Hands hook around the waistband of his sweatpants, beginning to slowly drag them off his body. You press them down hard over his bulge, and your boyfriend stutters out a breath.

His shirt gets pushed up to his face, where you hold it above his mouth.

“Open up baby boy.”

He opens his mouth, and you stuff the hem in, telling him to bite down. He does.

You duck down a bit to lick at his chest, laving over his nipples with the flat of your tongue just to feel the man jump a little, arching his back to press his chest further into your mouth.

But you were only here to tease, so you pulled away , running a hand down his abdomen so you could trace a finger up his hard cock.

It was easy to get him worked up, tapping two fingers against his shaft, lightly giving his balls a squeeze, scratching at his thighs with your nails.

Izuku was getting his shirt wet, whining around the fabric, bucking his hips into you touch, trying to entice you to stroke his entire shaft instead of teasing.

You quickly put a stop to that with a hand pressing down against his hipbone, pinching the skin there to make it clear that you didn’t want him to move.

Teasing a bit more, you leaned down, blowing cool air across the tip of his cock to watch the man jump, eyes flying open at the sensation. When you did it again, following the movement with attaching your mouth around the head and suckling, Izuku’s eyes rolled back in his head, toes curling.

He was moaning behind his shirt, trying to say something, but you were too preoccupied with digging your tongue into the slit, slurping at his cock like it was a piece of candy.

Your hand finally closed around his length, giving him a light, quick stroke before letting go, popping your mouth off his cock to lick at the sides, closing your mouth over the tender, barely-there veins and giving them a quick suck.

Izuku choked out a loud moan, and you looked up to find him staring at you, pupils dilated, breathing hard through his nose.

He was wanting you to hurry up.

Even though you were supposed to be in charge right now, Izuku still held the power.

You gripped his shaft again, rubbing the velvety skin between your fingers and palm, before slowly beginning to jerk him off. It was too dry, too rough though, and you know Izuku wasn't fond of that, so you stopped a moment to gather spit in your mouth.

“Izu, watch baby.” You told him, making sure he was looking down at you before you opened your mouth, letting your saliva slowly drool out and onto his cock.

The man looked like he was going to burst.

You did that a couple more times, telling your boyfriend to watch each time.

Now thoroughly wet, you gripped him tight again, resuming your leisurely pace.

“Izu baby, if you want to cum you gotta ask.” You say gently, hand speeding up around his length.

Izuku groans, throwing his head back onto the pillows, letting the wet hem of his shirt fall from his mouth. “Can I... can I cum mommy? Please? I-I need to cum.”

You stay quiet, wanting to push him a little more, hand barely moving around his cock, but your grip tight and slick.

His face is all red now, the tears from earlier dry on his cheeks. “Oh mommy, please let me cum, you feel so good. ‘M so clo-se! Please, please-”

Twisting your hand around the tip before letting go, you watch his cock bob, twitching, so red and hot. The veins on the underside are pulsing, Izuku’s balls drawing up, his stomach tensing as he struggle to hold back, struggles to be a good boy.

You know he loves this - loves when you make him wait, when you make him beg.

“You don’t sound like you really want it ‘Zuzu, I don’t know if I should let you.” You’d learned over time what he wanted when he got like this, what you were supposed to do to make him happy.

Izuku wanted you to be a bit mean, to tease and tease and not let him cum.

He let out a wail, squirming against the sheets, hands still obediently above his head, although they opened and closed shakily as if he wanted to grab onto something, probably you.

“No, ohhh, mommy I do, I want it s’bad!

Shaking your head makes Izuku whine, his hips thrusting into the air desperately before they stilled.

“Please... You make me feel so-so good mommy. I love you so much. just wanna cum...”

And his voice sounds so broken, all raspy and breathless, so you relent.

You strip his cock hard and fast, the wet sound of your hand around his length clicking around the room as Izuku almost screams at the sudden stimulation.

He jerks against the bed, thrusts up into your hand, you watch his abdomen ripple and his thighs tense and-

You let go of his cock right as he starts to cum, and Izuku lets out a wounded cry. His hands fly to his aching cock to rub himself through his orgasm, ease the tingling and the throbbing as his cock jerks, but you’re faster. His wrists are grabbed, and you pull them to your chest, ignoring the eyes looking at you pleadingly. Your own eyes are focused on his cock, globs of cum oozing out of the tip, running down the sides, his cock twitching and moving as if it had a life of it’s own.

“MOmmy no!” The man cries, but it’s useless now, his orgasm’s already been ruined.

“Shh ‘Zuzu, you’re okay. Mommy loves you.” You soothe, moving to his side so you can give him an awkward hug, his hands flying to clutch at you as soon as you let go of them/

“Mm, love you, love you mommy. Love you so much.” He sniffs, his hands pulling you to him so tight that you almost lose your balance.

You give him a pat on the shoulder, before trying to pull away, stopped by his firm grip. “Baby, let mommy go so I can take care of you.”

The man sniffs once more, pressing himself to you tightly with a wet kiss to your neck before relenting, letting you sit up.

A timid smile graced your lips as you shuffled down again, attention back on his cock. 

It was even wetter now, cum barely dribbling out the tip, some of it on your boyfriend’s lower tummy, some of it slipping to his balls. His legs were spread, and you’d be surprised if some of the whiteish liquid hadn’t dripped down his taint.

Gently, you started rubbing his thighs, soft little circles meant to soothe and calm. 

You spent a fair amount of time doing that, ten minutes, fifteen, then twenty, laying your head on Izuku’s knee as you lost yourself to the mechanical movement.

But then his leg jerked, shaking you to the present and out of your thoughts.

His cock was hard again.

He was looking down at you with big, expectant eyes, watching your every move like a cat watching a mouse. You were supposed to be in charge, but you never truly felt like it. 

“Pretty boy... you’re so pretty, know that?” You cooed, reaching up to start sliding your hand along his length, the texture slick and somewhat sticky.

Izuku moaned. “Not-not as pretty as mommy... You’re the prettiest. Love you...” He trailed off, obviously wanting you to say it back.

“I love you too Izuku.” And then it was back to teasing, rubbing at his cock before gripping him tightly, squeezing at the base, playing with his balls, fondling the soft skin.

He was getting impatient.

“Mommy, I wanna fuck you.” Izuku whined, his eyes tearing up, already shuffling so he could sit up.

You were tired, but you figured that he might as well. Telling him no might lead to a big fight, and you’d be back where you started, Izuku accusing you of the unforgivable offense of no longer loving him.

Nodding, you let go of his cock.

Within seconds, you were on your back, your boyfriend pushing and pulling at your limbs until they were where he wanted them.

“Oh, look at mommy, look at this.” the man sighed, pulling your panties to the side to reveal your slit, already glistening. “All for me, right? Just me?”

“Mm-hm.” You reassured him, jolting a bit as his fingers started to slide against your folds, before rushing to dip one inside.

He was often too eager with this stage, wanting to fuck you now. But you endured, wincing a bit at the slight sting as he began pushing in and out, dipping down to mouth at your neck.

Green curls tickled your skin, and you latched onto them, tugging a bit when he pushed another finger inside, impatient.

“Sorry, I just-just wanna feel-wanna fuck you, you’re.... I love you.”

He couldn’t stop himself from telling you every other second, adding a third finger, scissoring them inside you a bit too fast for it to be comfortable.

But then they were gone, and he was lining himself up.

“Be gentle-be gentle-!” You cautioned, words cut off with a small gasp as he pushed inside, only half listening.

He was average, definitely not the biggest you’d ever taken, but thick enough to have your eyes fluttering shut with each rock of his hips against your body. 

You still had your hands buried in his curls, Izuku lifting his head so he could kiss you on the mouth, wet and warm and hungry for every ounce of affection he could pull from you.

It didn’t take long for him to find his rhythm, thankfully not hammering into you, just thrusting quick and short, barely pulling out before seating himself balls deep again.

And it took even less time for him to start moaning about his impending release.

“Mommy, fuck, you feel amazing, I’m so close.”

You were on the pill, but Izuku knew how much you didn’t like him cumming inside. It felt weird, and you hated the cleanup, and it was just a general mess you’d rather avoid.

“Izu...oh pull-pull out baby, don’t cum inside mommy.”

His eyes fix you with a stern glare, as stern as he can manage after being teased and having his orgasm ruined and teased again until he cried. But then he softened, burying his face into your neck, whining quietly.

“No, no, nuh-uh mommy-y, wanna-wanna cum inside. I wanna cum inside mommy, I’m-I’m gonna cum inside mommy.”

His thrusts faltered, becoming jerky and quick and entirely focused on his own pleasure as little moans and gasps punched out of his throat. “Wanna cum, wanna cum, wanna cum-!” He cried, humping against you like an inexperienced virgin.

His load gushed into you like a flood, and you barely thought to wince before you were bumming yourself, limbs twitching erratically as you rode out the waves burning through your body.

It takes you a few minutes to come down, Izuku’s bigger body draped across your form as he tried to even out his breathing, gulping in air as if he’d just finished a marathon.

You felt irritated at him, that he had cum inside, at how he always bulldozed past what you wanted. 

A small part of you knew that this wasn’t.... it wasn’t okay. He was breaking your boundaries, and the unending reliance and worship made it hard for you to tell him no.

It felt good though, having someone tell you that you’re the reason that they woke up every morning. That they couldn’t live without you, how you were their everything, their one and only. He lifted you up, praised you and made you feel wanted and needed.

Your relationship was a pot of water being brought to a boil. You knew it was happening, you knew it wasn’t good, but the water felt warm. The sting of it’s heat was welcome for now, even though you knew that it would end in nothing good.

Even if you wanted to get out, how would you? Izuku kept such a tight grip on you, even now, his arms holding you close, his bodyweight crushing you.

He was just so needy.

And you were willing to give.

[believinghurts]

To Lose, But to Gain Part 1

Requested: No

Warnings: Death, anxiety  (Y/N) has been friend with James Potter since she was a little girl. His parents considered her their daughter. She moved into the Potter residence after her family joined the Dark Lord, much like Sirius. But what happens when Fleamont and Euphemia dies, leaving James broken? (Y/N) helps to comfort James in his time of need, while trying to battle her own feelings.  **Lily is in this, but I have portrayed her as kinda mean. Jealously is an evil thing. I am not sure when I’ll the next part up. Hopefully soon. Feedback welcome. Request open!*** March 12th, 1979 was seemingly the worst day of your, but it was nothing compared to how you know James felt. It was only four months; four months since James cried on your shoulder after his parents told him that they both had contracted Dragon Pox. The doctors said the potions wouldn’t help much, but they took them anyway in hopes of sending just a little more time with James. Four months was seemingly a decent amount of time, but she could only wish for more as she stood next to her friends in a room full of strangers. 

(Y/N) pressed a gentle kiss to Sirius’s cheek before passing him off to Remus. She weaved her wave through the throngs of people till she reached James at his mother's casket. (Y/N) pressed her hand into James’s back causing him to turn towards her. His cheeks were sunken in with dark bags under her eyes, and tried tear tracks running down his face. He grabbed her hand to pull her into his side. She leaned her head onto his shoulder as the onslaught of memories that lead to this spiral of grief crashed onto her. 

Sirius, Lilly, Remus, and (Y/N) have all been staying at the Potter residence, with Peter joining every now and then, after Euphemia got bedridden on March 8th. Although James was their only child, Fleamont and Euphemia considered all those currently staying in their house their children. The Potter house was a safe haven for all those who came, something that all of them, especially Sirius and (Y/N), knew and loved. But that all seemed to crack when Sirius let out a gut wrenching cry for the woman who had taken (Y/N) and himself in when their own parents kicked them out. 

He was the first to notice when Euphemia stopped breathing. Tears fell down (Y/N)’s face as she turned to watch James breakdown at the sight of his father kissing his mother one last time. He didn’t utter a word as his father brought him into a hug, crying with his son over the woman they both loved. (Y/N) took Sirius’s hand to pull him, along with Remus, and Lily out of the room to give James and Fleamont some time with Euphemia. She wiped her tears knowing that it was going to be a long and hard couple of days for everyone, and that she needed to stay strong.

 When she reached for the door handle, but halted when she heard Fleamonts voice, “(Y/N), princess stay. You are just as much a part of this as James and Sirius.” 

She looked up at the man who had loved her as his own since she showed up on their doorstep at the age of seven asking to play with James. She glanced up at Remus who nodded at her, “Go, I’ll take care of it. James needs you. They all do.” 

No one seemed to notice the look of jealousy that passed on Lily's face when she saw James bury his head into (Y/N)’s neck. The trio plus Fleamont stayed with Euphemia till St. Mungos came to take her body. Shortly after Fleamont pressed a kiss to their foreheads, before retiring to the guest room down the hall since he almost collapsed from exhaustion. The time James hadn’t released his hold on (Y/N). They moved to join the others in the living room where Peter had joined Lily, and Remus. The latter had set up mattresses on the floor for everyone already expecting that they all would want to be close. 

(Y/N) gently untangled her hand from James’s, but the look of panic in his eyes made her quick to explain, “Stay here. I’ll be back soon. I’m gonna go check on dad, okay?” 

James nodded his approval. (Y/N) would have to talk to Remus if James didn’t speak sometime soon. But she quickly decided that it could wait till at least tomorrow since she currently didn’t feel like talking very much either. She squeezed his hand before looking at Lily who had stepped up next to James. Lily grabbed his hand and pulled him to the mattress on the end. 

When she was sure James would be okay for a little bit she made the trek down the hall to Fleamont. She knocked softly before pushing the door open when she heard an entry call. 

“Hey, sweetheart,” Fleamont greeted the young girl who he had grown to consider his daughter and his son's happiness. 

(Y/N) forced a small smile onto her face, crossing the room to sit on the edge of his bed to get a better look to see what he had in his hand. The forced smile on her lips quickly turned into a real one when she saw what it was. The picture he was holding was a wizard photo that played on a loop. It was taken their 4th year when Sirius had moved into the Potter's house. The family, James, Fleamont, (Y/N), Euphemia, and Sirius, were gathered at a Christmas tree farm on a snowy day. The older couple was laughing while Fleamont dipped his wife back to kiss her as the group of teens made gagging noises. It was easily one of (Y/N)’s favorite memories. 

(Y/N) hadn’t noticed the tears leaking from her eyes till she felt a hand on her cheek wiping them away. “Don’t cry. We will all be together again someday. She wouldn’t want the sadness instead remember all the happy times we had, and I want the same when I’m gone.” 

That caused her head to snap up, “Wh-what?”

“It won’t be long now. Especially now that I know that all three of the kids will be taken care of by each other and Remus. All parents want for their children is that they are supported and loved. You and James do that for each as do Remus and Sirius.” 

The sobs that had been stuck in her throat came out full force. She begged him not to leave them so soon, that they needed him. Fleamont pulled her into a hug, “All you need is each other and you have that more than you realize. Hold on to one another, love each other, don’t let things go unsaid. And remember the ones that love us never really leave us, you can always find them in here.” He placed his hand over her heart before kissing her forehead. “Now, go. Hug my boys for me and Mia. Tell them we love them just like we love you.” 

(Y/N) nodded softly before pressing a kiss to his cheek, and helping him get comfortable in bed. Unbeknownst to the two Lily had heard all of the conservation after she was sent to get (Y/N) when Sirius asked for her. 

Rest was not seen very well for the group. Peter had taken the shorter sofa, and could be heard tossing and turning. Remus took the larger sofa, but instead of sleeping he was reading Mrs. Potter had given him for Christmas. James and Lily had taken the mattress furthest from the sofas; James was curled in on himself pretending to be asleep, but couldn’t actually sleep too afraid of nightmares he knew would come. Lily had fallen asleep a little bit after she thought James was, but kept moving every couple of minutes. Sirius had curled up in between Remus' sofa and the girl who he considered a sister. His head on her chest while she played with his hair while he played with Remus’s free fingers. The hours passed slowly, but no one dared to speak. The emotional exhaustion seeped into their bones and finally they fell into a fitful sleep. 

When (Y/N) woke a few hours later the first thing she noticed was the second body on her other side. James had woken up from a nightmare and quietly left his bed to join her and Sirius. Sirius had tucked into her shoulder so James had laid his head on her stomach with his body in between her legs. Her hand was tangled with his much like all the other times they had done this while talking about nothing yet everything. She looked out the window to see the light beginning to rise. Knowing that she wouldn’t be going back to sleep, she slipped out of the boys grasped and tip-toed down to where Fleamont was staying. She wanted to see if he was awake before she woke James and Sirius so they could spend the day with him. But those plans came to a stuttering halt when she noticed the bluish tint to Fleamont’s skin. 

Her breath hitched in her throat as she prayed to whoever was listening that he was breathing. He wasn’t. Her tears dripped down onto his cold skin as she kissed his forehead. She sank to the floor in the corner of the room sobbing quietly, while she tried to gather herself to go wake the others and break the news. She buried her head in her arms as she pulled her knees to her chest crying as if it would be her last. She wasn’t sure how long she had been sitting there, but when she felt arms wrap around her, and tears hit the top of her head causing her to jump. 

“I’m so sorry, Jamie,” she whispered. 

James sniffled, “It’s okay. He’s with Mum now. I-I talked to him this morning. I wa-was with him when he….I waited to tell everyone. I wanted some time with him and I figured that you and Sirius would want to say goodbye.” 

(Y/N) understood where he was coming from. And although these were his parents he was still thinking of his friends who loved his parents as their own. She was glad that James got to see his Dad one last time. This would be the first time that James had ever faced a loss as big as this one. “This maybe a stupid question, but are you okay? 

She raised her head to look at his face, wiping his tears with her thumbs. He smiled pitifully, “Okay? No. Will I be, eventually? Yes.” He shifted them so that her legs were over his with her head on his shoulder, and her playing with the fingers of his left hand while his right ran down her back. “He, um, told some stuff before he…..” James couldn’t bring himself to say the ‘D’ word, but (Y/N) understood what he meant. “He said that I was a great son, and that he and Mum were so proud of me. And that the only regret they had was that they wouldn’t be able to see me marry the woman I love.” 

(Y/N) tried to keep her face as blank as possible while she remembered the words the Fleamont had told her last night while processing what James had said. Was Fleamont talking about her when he said those words to James? (Y/N) had been battling feelings for her Best friend since their sixth year, but had been working her hardest to get over them knowing that James loved Lily. “Yeah, they always loved Lily.” 

(Y/N) missed the look of longing in James’ eyes as she turned towards the doorway after a creek came from the floorboards. Remus, Sirius, and Lily were all there looking at the cold body of Fleamont Potter. Sirius turned, shoving passed the others, storming into the kitchen. 

Remus gave the two on the floor a sympathetic smile, “I’ve got him.” Before following Sirius out.

 Lily made her way over to James as (Y/N) kissed Fleamont’s cheek one last time before heading towards the door, “I’ll send word to St. Mungos, so you can have a little more time with him, Jamie.” 

“Thank you, but can you come back once you're done? I-I don’t want to be alone.” 

“I’ll stay, James,” Lily said, grabbing onto his hand.

James kept his eyes trained on (Y/N) who was looking at Lily. “Please, princess? I just need someone who-who understands. Please?” 

The nickname sent a pang of hurt straight through her heart. Fleamont was the one who gave her it, but the boys quickly picked up on it. Being the only girl in the Mauraders meant she was the princess of the group even when Lily entered. Despite the hurt it sent her, it also made her incredibly relieved that James was talking. She knew that she would do whatever it took to make sure James was going to be okay. (Y/N) locked eyes with James, nodding softly. She noticed that beside James Lily was glaring softly, but was smart enough to make sure that James didn’t see it. “I’ll send an owl, and the we can stay as long as you want.” 

****************

She blinked back tears as she was brought back to the present by James tugging on her hand to move to his father's casket. The duo stayed even after people started moving to where the drinks were. (Y/N) noticed James looking around the room slightly, “We can stay here as long as you want, you know?” 

“I know, but I-I said my goodbyes already. I just needed to look at them a little longer, but I think I’m ready now.” His voice hoarse. 

“Whenever you know you’re ready is when we leave. Not before that.” (Y/N) whispered into his shoulder where her forehead was resting. 

“I just want them to be at peace with each other.” James linked his fingers through hers. (Y/N) nodded before guiding him to where everyone else was. The room was packed with people who knew the Potter’s. She spotted Remus, who had Sirius buried in his shoulder, in the corner of the room. She began to pull James towards them, but was stopped by multiple people who were giving James his condolences, and letting him know that they were there for him. From the look on James’s face she could tell he had no clue who half of these people were. One particularly old wizard didn’t seem to notice the look on his face, and kept talking about something she didn’t catch. She could tell that James was getting close to losing it. 

“I’m sorry, sir. But you’ll have to excuse us.” She didn’t wait for a reply before leaving with James in tow. She pushed James into a chair beside Remus, loosening his tie slightly so he could breathe a little better. “I’m going to get you some water. Do you want anything else, Jamie?” 

He shook his head. On the way to the drinks, (Y/N) passed Lily who was talking with Marlene and Docras. The latter sent a small smile when she noticed her while the other two just looked at her. (Y/N) grabbed some water for both James, and Sirius, knowing that Remus would share with Siri if he wanted some, as well as a chocolate chip muffin hoping that she could get James to eat at least a couple of bites. Upon arriving back to the boys, she was greeted by the sight of Minevera McGonagall who was talking to James. She was still too far away to hear what was being said, but whatever it was caused James to smile despite the tears running down his face. Leave it to Minnie to be the one who makes him smile for the first time in days, (Y/N) thought. 

McGonagall hugged James before moving to speak to Sirius and Remus. Minnie gave her a hug as she walked past, letting her know to contact her if she or any of them needed someone to talk to. Although they had all graduated over a year ago, they all still kept in touch with their favorite professor. 

(Y/N) handed a water to Remus before going to James. Lily stood beside his chair looking down at him. “Do you want or need anything else?” James shook his head before leaning onto (Y/N)’s shoulder as she perched on the arm of his chair so she could quietly talk to Remus. Without thinking about it (Y/N) started to run her fingers through James’s already messed up hair making the boy relax into her side. 

Remus noticed James' position on his other friend. He was worried about his three best friends. They had lost the only parents they had ever known within days of each other. He knew that (Y/N) was trying to stay strong for Sirius and James, but was forgetting herself. Yes, she had cried some, but she hadn’t talked about any of it. Truthfully Remus knew that she had feelings for James. It became obvious when she turned slightly red faced in their sixth year when James cuddled her on the Common Room couch, but she never told anyone. Remus loved (Y/N) like the little sister he never got to have. Besides Sirius she was the one he was closest too; she was his person. Just like he knew he was hers. This only made Remus want to make sure that she was going to be okay since she wouldn’t do that for herself. “How are you doing, (Y/N)?”

“Uh? Oh, I’m okay. Just trying to keep an eye on Jamie the best that I can.” She glanced down at the brown eyed boy noticing that his breaths were starting to even out. Remus also noticed that James was essentially asleep on (Y/N), prompting him to ask how James was sleeping. They all, minus Peter and Lily most nights, had been staying at the Potter residents, not leaving one another alone for more than a few minutes at a time. “He keeps having nightmares. We’ll try to go to sleep in our own rooms, but either I’ll wake up to him kicking the wall or him crawling into my bed. I think they are getting a little better, but not much. He slept a little more than two hours before he woke up. Granted we just slept in my bed last night not even trying to sleep alone.”

“I know that you are trying to make sure that he is okay or is going to be okay, but you need to take care of yourself too. We’ll take care of James tonight. You need some sleep, I can tell. Sirius usually sleeps through the night if he takes the Draught of Peace, right Siri?” Remus said looking at his lover. 

Sirius nodded, “I do, but he won’t let you take over Rem. He won’t be able to go back to sleep if he wakes up with a nightmare, and that’s if he lets her go long enough for her to even get into her bed.” He tilted his head towards James showing the other two the tight grip James had on (Y/N)’s waist with one arm, and her hand with the other. 

“He’s right, ya know.” James’s voice startled the trio. “You keep the nightmares away, princess. Always have. I know you need sleep too, and you can just please stay with me? All I need is your presence, I promise.” 

(Y/N) nodded softly at James, squeezing his hand. James looked at his friends, “Can we please leave? I can’t be here any longer.”

They all stood to make their way to the apparition point. Remus leading holding onto Sirius’s hand with (Y/N) following holding onto James. Someone caught James’s other hand, he looked back to see Lily. “Where are you going, James?” 

“Oh, um, home. I can’t- I can’t be here any longer.” He stopped to talk to his girlfriend causing the other three to wait on him. “Um, you can come over later if you want. I just need some time.” 

Lily nodded, “Okay, I will. Are you sure you’ll be okay alone for a while?” Lily already knew that James wasn’t going home alone. She knew that at least (Y/N) was going to be with him. And she tried to look past it. Thinking that they were just best friends who were leaning on each other in a time of need, but she couldn’t help to notice the touches, and some looks passed between the two. 

“I won’t be.” He tilted his head in the direction of Sirius, (Y/N), and Remus. “They’ll be with me. Just come over later or something. I have to go.” He was getting overwhelmed at all the looks of sympathy getting sent his way. He didn’t wait for Lily to reply before walking past his friends, and apperating home. 

[mattzerella-sticks]

“is scamming gay rights?” - Dean & Jack, DeanCas, Bi!Dean (ao3)

Jack tries teaching Dean about his latest obsession, TikTok, except a breakdown in communication teaches Dean that, sometimes, acronyms can mean more than one thing.

           Dean didn’t understand exactly what Jack rambled on about, but he passed the point of no return a few minutes back and couldn’t interrupt without revealing he had no clue what the younger boy prattled on and on about. As it was Jack currently kept pushing his phone in Dean’s face, gesturing at it and shaking it every ten seconds or so. Dean glanced between Jack and it; each time he did there was a new video on screen and by the time he shifted his focus back to his son the lecture had moved elsewhere along a road he had trouble following. By then, he let himself sink into the comfortable numbing cadence of Jack’s speech, sipping at his beer, surfacing only when he recognized a word before diving back under.

           His ears perked in familiarity as Jack used an acronym Dean recently learned, and so he tuned back in. Jack drew the phone closer to his side of the kitchen table, tapping on it. “There was this big problem with mlms actually, and even though I filtered my home page to avoid profiles like that, they kept popping up,” he said, “Luckily TikTok went ahead and basically blacklisted and deleted all mlm content. Now, I rarely see any of those kinds of content.”

           Dean’s features shuddered, mouth dropping slightly in fright. His ears echoed with the awful drumming of his heart, and a painful wheeze tickled his throat, demanding freedom. He released it on a sigh, slightly curling in on himself. “W-what?” he asked, “You… you didn’t like it?”

           Jack shrugged, “I mean, it was kind of annoying, but I learned to ignore them. When I learned how harmful the content was, however, I was very glad to hear that TikTok went ahead and took some sort of action – Hey!”

           On autopilot, Dean snatched the phone out of Jack’s hands. He slammed it, hard, on the table between them. Dean pointed a harsh finger towards Jack, snarling his next few words. “I don’t want to ever hear you talk like that again.”

           “What?”

           “Or!” he added, fist hammering Jack’s phone further into the wood, “use this, this damned app – if this is what it turns you into!” He huffed, hands retreating to steeple at his chin. “You think you’re raising a kid right… raising a kid to be accepting despite being so close to the Bible Belt… and one dumb app undoes all that hard work.”

           Jack, frozen in his seat, stared at Dean with concern shining in his comically wide eyes. “What are you talking about, Dean?”

           “Look,” Dean said instead, his finger extending once more to point at the younger boy. It was a less accusatory gesture, softened by the gentle tone Dean adopted. “I know I haven’t been the best role model with… with that kind of stuff. Hell of a lot better than my dad was, though… still not the best. But I’ve been getting better, especially after I…” His words bottlenecked on his tongue, and through great effort did Dean spit them out. “After I admitted my own attraction to… to men, especially one man in particular…” Dean’s head felt like it might erupt, magma-like blood swelling his brain to dangerous sizes. “Cas.”

           “Yes, Dean,” Jack nodded, “I know that. I’m… I’m confused what any of that has to do with this?”

           “What it has to do with…? Jack…” Dean pinched his brow, tense shoulders collapsing as the strain became too much, muscles snapping like bridge cables. “I might not be the most… the most out, or the most proud, okay? But I’m trying. Remember that bi flag pin I wore during that hunt one time? That was me… trying. And I’ll keep trying, because this isn’t something I’m ashamed of.” He reached for Jack, ensnaring his wrist to make sure his message was well received. “So you see, being gay isn’t – it’s not annoying. It shouldn’t be hidden, or… banned and it certainly isn’t harmful despite what some repressed shitheads might think.” Emboldened, Dean levelled a disappointing glare at Jack. His lower lip jutted out in fatherly disapproval. “And I’d rather be staked on some piece of rusty rebar than let a stupid app make you homophobic. No more… Ticking-tock. Period.”

           While Jack might not appreciate Dean’s ultimatum now, he will later on in his life. Dean imagined a future where he and Jack, much older than they were in this moment, sat on a porch swing talking about how good a job Dean did raising him to be a decent human being, as Jack’s partner, whose features he couldn’t distinguish from such a distance in their front yard, played with their son, named for the man who set Jack on the right path, obviously. He was knocked out of this fantasy, unfortunately, by the lumbering footsteps of his oafish brother.

           Sam entered the kitchen, Cas at his side with a tome held open in his hands. Their conversation withered as they took in the scene they walked in on. “Hey,” Sam said, shuffling his way to them, “what’s going on?”

           Dean opened his mouth, about to explain that he was dishing some serious parental law and wisdom. Except Jack hurriedly interrupted, rushing to speak first. “I have no idea,” he told them, “I was explaining TikTok to Dean, and suddenly he starts ranting about how it’s a homophobic platform?”

           “Because it is!” Dean argued. He grabbed Jack’s phone, waving it at the others. “Jack told me that they’ve gone full Russia – banning mlms and… and it was brainwashing him, making him hate gay people!”

           “Dean! I don’t hate gay people –“

           “Because I acted before any of the damage actually managed to take root,” he said, “If you used this any longer you would’ve had more harsh things to say about mlms than they’re annoying.”

           Jack groaned, scrubbing his face with twitching fingers. “They are annoying!”

           Dean gestured at Jack, asking with exaggerated brows and frown lines, what they should do about Jack’s denigration. Sam, for his part, seemed unbothered by Jack’s callous attitude. “I mean,” he shrugged, “Jack’s not wrong. Mlms are… pretty annoying.”

           Betrayed, Dean staggered to his feet. He faltered visibly, enough that Cas rushed over, dropping the yellowed book he held, and offered a hand. Dean accepted it, leaning on his boyfriend’s shoulder. The touch on the small of his back renewed his strength. “Sam,” he muttered, voice cracking, “how could you say that?”

           Sam mirrored the confusion noticeably present in Jack’s features. “Dean, why are you taking this so personally?”

           “Because, apparently,” Dean shouted at him, “you find me annoying!”

           “No more than I usually do,” Sam told Dean, “But that’s never bothered you before?”

           “Well, it’s pretty hard staying fucking unbothered when you think my sexuality is annoying.”

           “What?” Suddenly, something flashed behind Sam’s eyes, and the fog of bewilderment dissipated as pure rays of understanding shone from his smug expression and annoyingly struck Dean in the face. “Dean,” Sam sighed, “you… we’re not talking about gay people.”

           Dean snorted, “Of course you are. I’m not stupid.” Sam’s bitchy expression disagreed. “I’m hip, Sam. I know the lingo – better than you would, anyway… ‘ally’. Mlm… men loving men… What else could it be?”

           “Mlm is an acronym for multi-level marketing, Dean,” Sam explained, “that’s the kind of mlm we’ve been talking about this entire time.”

           “What?” Dean’s gaze bounced around the room, from Sam to Jack, then Cas, finally returning to Sam. “No, but I… the Internet, mlm is… it stands for…”

           “Things can have more than one meaning,” Cas supplied, appearing pained as he spoke, “especially acronyms.” He pressed a consolatory kiss upon Dean’s cheek, touch sparking a flame on his already burning skin. “It was nice to see how outspoken you’ve become, though.”

           “Yeah,” Sam agreed, “Like a modern-day Harvey Milk.”

           Dean refused to comment on Sam’s teasing, sinking into his seat again while his mind processed this new information. Cas joined him, continually rubbing soothing circles into his back. Sam sat next to Jack, across from them. Jack, sullenly tracing the cracks Dean made in his phone screen, asked, “Does this mean I’m not banned from TikTok?”

           “I just don’t get it,” Dean said, ignoring Jack’s question, “why would something that sounds boring like multi-level marketing even deserve its own acronym, let alone be banned from a whole app.”

           “Because it’s bad, Dean,” Sam explained, “multi-level marketing is, like, an evolved pyramid scheme, made more prevalent because of how easily social media disseminates misinformation and reaches impressionable people. Companies like TikTok are doing what they can to try and curb all these kinds of scams because, well… they’re annoying.”

           Adamant, Dean scowled and shook his head. “Mlm meaning that is what’s annoying.”

           “Too bad, Dean,” Sam said, “that’s probably the universally accepted meaning for it.”

           “No!” Dean said, “No, mlm is about gay people. It doesn’t have anything to do with scams.”

           Cas scoffed at Dean’s side, mumbling, “But what if scamming people is gay rights?”

           It was ridiculous, made in jest, and held no actual weight in a discussion, but Dean latched onto the throwaway line like it were the last life preserver on the Titanic. “You know what, Cas, you’re right!” he crowed, “Scamming is gay rights.”

           “It is?”

           “It should be,” Dean said, “I mean, do you know the number of times in my life I’ve scammed bigoted jerks for all they had? Scamming definitely feels like something that’s for gays only.”

           Sam rubbed his temples, battling an incoming migraine. “I don’t know why, but that take feels homophobic.”

           “Hush, Sam,” Cas told the other man, “I want to see where Dean goes with this.”

           Jack nodded, camera eclipsing his features. “Just let me hit record first, Dean. This could go viral.”

           Dean waited for the signal from Jack, a small thumbs up, and then he cleared his throat. “Okay, so here’s why scamming is a right for the gays and the gays alone…”

[needs-to-stop-looking-at-valves]

Let's say Megatron wants to have his Bride and Knockout wreck him to Pit and back, but Bride is still feeling petty over the whole 'Knockout is pretty' incident. So when dear doctor comes fully prepared and with clear experience of what his liege likes best, the two of them get a bit... Competitive. ~G🏩

(what can I say, your KO x Megs headcanons have some amazing hardcore stuff💥 If you feel like it, go wild with the scenario)

Let’s do this, let’s fuck up tits mcgee up here.

*this WILL include rough shit. Maybe overloading in wounds, maybe a shock stick up the valve- I’m making it up as I go along. But this isn’t for everyone, this is what MEGATRON would want. You have been warned.

“YOU’RE NOTHING BUT A TIN CANNED WHORE!”

You could feel your vocal processor strain under your screams. You thought Megatron telling Knockout he was pretty was just him being an absolute dick bag. But no. Megatron had the gall. The NERVE to actually invite the medic to your berth. Knockout wasn’t even THAT attracted to Megatron. He just liked the big, powerful mechs giving him compliments and making him feel good. It’s why he just sat there and watched as you threw yet another vase at your sparkmate. This one hit him square in the chest, making him swear. He found you gorgeous while you were angry, but he knew better than to push it when you were in the throwing stage.

“You said I could invite ANYONE to the berth, so long as you were here too!”

“Not HIM! I’m a SEEKER, he’s a GROUNDER. You shouldn’t even be LOOKING at him!”

You threw a plate this time, barely missing his face. You were known for your tantrums, and while he found it stunning, he was also terribly fearful of getting too close. Hell hath no fury like a seeker scorned. You were looking around for something else to throw, before Knockout stood up, hands gently raised in hopes of getting you to stop, just for a moment.

“As much as I’m into watching a meltdown, why don’t we cool it down, just a bit? There’s no need to be jealous. Starscream is just as prideful as you, but even HE concedes that I’m pretty much a piece of art.”

You turned to look at him. This red tricycle actually had the nerve to say YOU were jealous. Your anger turned towards him now.

“I beg your pardon?”

“I’m saying there’s a reason why he wants him to frag him stupid. I’m gorgeous, I’m small, I’m quick witted, I can bring him to his knees in a sparkbeat- really stop me at any time.”

This ground pounder HONESTLY thought he could hold a candle to you. You couldn’t believe it. You folded your arms across your chest, arms perked all the way up, just in time to catch his attention.

“You think fragging him is just so easy, don’t you? It isn’t. He’s nothing but a hog in metal skin.”

“I just don’t think you know what you’re doing. Watch. Big M, on your knees. Now.”

“What?”

Knockout suddenly brought out his shockstick, and jammed it right into Megatron’s bust. After a cry of pain, he was brought to his knees, lightly swearing. You were about to kick his aft for hurting your Megatron (as much as he deserved it), when Knockout grabbed a hold of his chin, forcing his gaze upon him, and him alone.

“Pay attention, my liege. I don’t want to repeat myself. Now, be good, and open up that panel for me.”

Megatron obeyed promptly, and you watched as his shockstick was used to slowly rub against his big spike. Knockout looked at you, looking almost bored as the warlord slowly grinded against the weapon’s end.

“See, you really think I can’t do what you can do. You don’t think I can’t be pretty AND fuck his processor out. And all without wings. Take a gander. He isn’t even looking at you. It’s funny, how I could be his little bride, all without the tantrums and rules. I’m the medic. I know exactly what his body needs. You wanna cum already, don’t you big M?”

He looked down at the mech on the floor, and he nodded furiously. You had your wings spread out and everything, yet, this medic had ALL of his attention. Knockout tore his weapon away, before slamming his pede right on that spike. Megatron threw his helm back in a loud swear, and he overloaded, right over his pede. You wanted to throw Megatron out like yesterday’s garbage. How DARE he overload so quickly and easily? Knockout snickered as he dug his pede into him, forcing more beads of overload to dribble out of him, all with him groaning in clear satisfaction. Knockout lifted his pede up, and pushed it towards his drooling face.

“Clean me. Now.”

Megatron held onto his pede, and like the slut he was, he lapped up all of his overload clean off his pede. He did so hungrily, eager to satisfy. Knockout looked towards you, and had the nerve to fan you away, like some service drone.

“Why don’t you go and yell at some Steves? I’ll take care of him. Clearly you can’t.”

You couldn’t believe it. Megatron even went so far as to KISS his pede once he was finished. And Knockout didn’t even look mildly aroused. That was when you had an idea.

“Alright, how about this, you absolute stain. Let’s BOTH make this loser overload. Then, once he’s all dried up, we’ll see who HE likes best.”

“Megatron admitting I’M the fairest con on board the Nemesis….what bragging rights. Alright, deal. Just don’t scratch the paint once you lose, ‘bride of Megatron’”

He snapped his servos, finally making Megatron stop with the pede kissing. You both decided that as your ‘guest’, Knockout could go first. Knockout helped himself to your berth, sighing as he sank into the sheets.

“Oooh that is some soft stuff right there. Megatron, buy me these pillows once we’re done here, Breakdown would love these.”

And you thought Megatron was a whore. Knockout was here, toying with another mech, while he already had a hunk of a mech at home, waiting for him. Greedy. Megatron looked over at you in almost permission, before Knockout jabbed his shockstick right into Megatron’s neck, really getting throughout his frame. Megatron turned to look at him. Knockout shot him a grin, and after exposing his valve panel, made a ‘come here’ motion with his servo.

“Get over here. Show me what the pits of Koan have to offer~”

Megatron didn’t even hesitate. He was on that berth like a fly to shit, and his spike was in him faster than you could say ‘slut’. Megatron thrusted into him in a hungry, forceful fury, much to Knockout’s delight. It was funny, despite the fact that Megatron was on top, Knockout was the one in charge.

“You feel SO good-”

“Less talking, more fucking me. Make your little bride jealous~”

He even had the ballbearings to shoot you a wink as he said this, right before Megatron adjusted his stance, and REALLY started slamming into him. It didn’t help that Knockout was not only smaller than you (making his valve smaller), but the fact that he was using Megatron’s back as a scratching post; tearing through his metal enough to draw energon. All while he threw his helm back and offered such loud, slutty (and totally fake) moans of ecstasy. All while Megatron was eating it all up. You couldn’t believe the ‘yes, fucking scratch me’, and the ‘shove it all in me, big mech’ you heard between the both of them. It was like a shitty porno. And Megatron was enjoying every second of it. The berth rocked from the force of his thrusts, fluids sullied the sheets, and drool dribbled down his tratorious grin.

“You’re gonna overload, aren't you? I can feel you fucking throbbing.”

“I am. I’m g-gonna overload, let me just pull o-”

“No no no. Go on, overload in me.”

You stomped your pede on the floor, damn near ready to tear his helm off.

“Don’t you overload in that waste of paint.”

Megatron hesitated, only to have Knockout chuckle.

“No no no. Overload in me. Come on, stuff me. It’s nice and tight for you. I know you want to.”

Knockout then managed to hook his pedes around his shoulders, and with a good, tight grab of Megatron’s aft, he overloaded. He didn’t even try to hide it. He swore, he groaned, held onto the wall and everything. All while Knockout snickered. With a snap of his servos, Megatron slowly pulled out of him, revealing a full valve, slowly spilling out fluids as he rubbed at his node. All while Megatron stood there, holding onto the headboard, panting in clear content.

“I do believe it’s your bride’s turn.”

“You….might have to give me just a second, dear.”

You wouldn't believe your audials. Megatron needing a BREAK? Knockout smiled smugly, spanking Megatron right on his node, all while meeting your optics.

“Aw, was I too much for you, big grey? That’s fine. You take your time. Nothing important you need to do anyway.”

You were going to kill him. Completely and totally.

[ateezmakemeweep]

richboy!seonghwa (part 26)

word count: 5k

angst, fluff, smut

(part 25) (series masterlist)

you had spent the first half of the night crying. full on ugly crying, tears streaming down your cheeks and your sobs muffled into whichever boy was comforting you at the time.

mingi had proved to be the rational one. still sweet and gentle in the way he comforted you but also trying to get some coherent words and thoughts out of you. "you need to talk to us so we can help you, y/n. you'll feel better then."

but yunho understands that sometimes, crying it all out helps. that getting all of your hurt and anguish out in the form of sobbing is sometimes the way. thought his heart does hurt thinking about how much you've cried these past months, surprised that you have any tears left in you.

though how can you not?

with seonghwa's brokenness and dejected spirit in your mind. the way he drank himself into his most vulnerable state and confessed to how lonely he's been these past months.

with the way yeosang had acted so defensively and didn't seem to trust you. how neither of you contacted each other and now left you with the feeling that everything might be over.

for your own self, how you feel so much guilt and sadness for both of the boys. how the pit in your stomach is only grower larger and larger, feeling like after all of this time, you still haven't made a choice.

the choice you thought you made the second you decided to date yeosang, if the way you were just a second away from telling the boy you loved him was any indication. but now the way he reacted hurt you, him throwing your obvious confusion and past mistakes in your face so easily.

because while you don't believe kissing either of them was a mistake, being more open and honest in the first place might've saved everyone a little bit of trouble. the trouble that now you can't help but feel responsible for.

"it wasn't only you," mingi's quick to say, his large hands dabbing at your wet cheeks. "yeosang knew of seonghwa's feelings and seonghwa came on way too strong the second he met you."

it's words you've heard the boy say multiple times and usually, they slightly comforted you. but now it only makes your heart tug at the awfully messy situation this all had become. you think the worst part is that it could've destroyed a friendship, had yeosang and seonghwa not already been through so much together.

your tears finally stop after a few more softly spoken words from mingi but eventually his blunt and abrupt "enough fucking crying, y/n," snapping you out of your pity and shameful breakdown.

yunho eyes snap to the boy, his face twisting into one of shock. "mingi..." the boy says lowly, his eyes softening as he looks at the boy in disapproval.

"i'm not being a dick, y/n," he says, wiping at your wet cheeks one more time before taking your hand in his. "i'm just so sick of seeing you cry over this."

"and you think i'm not?" you whisper-yell, trying to keep your voice down to not alert your parents. "i don't know wh-what to do. i still don't know what to do, mingi. i've had fucking months to get it together and i'm still sitting here crying like an idiot. i'm toying with both of them like a selfish bitch and both of them are gonna tell me-"

"stop," yunho says, his deep, commanding voice causing your eyes widen; you've never heard him talk like that. he rises from your chair in the corner and sits on the other side of you, placing his arm around you and tugging you into his broad chest.

"listen to me. you're not gonna call yourself that again. we're gonna talk everything out even if it means staying up all night to get your head on straight again. okay?" he eyes mingi who's watching both of them carefully, smiling softly at the boy as if to say that's how you approach a crying teenage girl.

the three of you talk until your throat is raw, explaining to them how much it hurt you to see seonghwa like that. how you couldn't physically leave him at a bar drunk and upset when you knew you were to blame; and even if you weren't to blame, you couldn't allow that.

"but like i told yeosang, i would've done that for anyone. like if it was one of you, obviously. so i don't know why he had to throw that in my face!"

mingi and yunho smile softly at you, one of their large hands coming up to pat down your messy hair.

"i know, sweetling. he knows that too," yunho tells you, "he probably just felt threatened and scared."

"but why?" you cry out, looking at the boys with a baffled expression. "i was literally about to tell him i love him and now he's upset that i went to pick up our fri-"

"wait, what?" they both blurt out, yunho's eyes lit up with happiness and surprise as mingi's mouth is dropped into an o shape.

"yeah," you say, nodding your head a shy smile makes it way on your face; you suppose you'd never said that out loud before. "i really felt like i was ready to say it, especially on our trip together. but now with this, i don't-"

"one fight doesn't mean you don't love him anymore," mingi says, "you either love him or you don't."

you take a moment to think about his words, remembering all your good moments with yeosang. from both ski trips and your time at school and on all of your dates and times at his house.

and you think, even given the way you guys first met an were with each other, that the good outweigh the bad. he brings out a spark in you that you were always too scared and timid to show. he pushes you to go out of your comfort zone and will tell you things you need to hear even if they're harsh.

"i-i do," you eventually find yourself saying, a happy feeling fluttering in your stomach as you admit it aloud.

because when it comes down to it, if you guys broke up over this, you'd be devastated. if you guys broke up at all, you couldn't imagine seeing him and being okay with not talking to him, not going home without him and never being able to laugh with him on his couch.

"okay, good," yunho says with a smile. "that was one of the two things we have to settle." the blonde looks at mingi with a leading look, the redhead rolling his eyes slightly at his....friend.

"why do you make me say the hard stuff," mingi growls.

"because you're the mean one. i'm the nice, soft spoken one."

you giggle when see mingi's eyes narrow at him, affection and care even obvious in his 'angry' expression.

you know tonight is a time for you to get your shit together, so everyone can move on from this and maybe every interaction won't be these two boys comforting you. but you can't wait for the moment you can finally ask them what's been going on between them.

because you know it's something.

"whatever," mingi says, the growl in his voice not all that biting or scary before he turns to look at you. you see his eyes soften as he looks over your face, bringing his hand down to rest atop yours again.

"but then we have to ask, what about seonghwa? do you love him too?"

you lick at your lips anxiously, almost wanting to laugh at this. because you're just a group of teenagers sitting in your bedroom at 2 am, crying and talking about love like you guys know anything at all. but it truly feels like everything is so intense and serious; because what love is more passionate than those of naive high schoolers?

your mind wracks over the not so simple question for a few minutes. you think about your memories with seonghwa and the pang in your heart tells you you care deeply for the boy and the memories he's given you. you love that he was there for you and helped you and was kind to you.

but that might be the difference. the cliche, well-known idea of loving someone versus being in love with someone. but that feels like the only way to describe yourself in this situation. describe why not a single part of you wants to hurt seonghwa, why you've maybe been dragging your feet through all of this and finding it so incredibly hard to deal with.

because even after tonight, you don't wanna make the choice. consider what seems like the most obvious choice in the universe but knowing that's not what you want. because who wouldn't pick seonghwa? it seems as if right now, you should be leaning towards him.

but the way your eyes well up with tears is the first indication to everyone in the room that, while you might love him, it's not the way you love someone else.

so the second half of the night is spent coming to terms with his decision, laying right in the middle of yunho and mingi as you tell them about the first time you met seonghwa and how much he helped you in 4th period. how pretty much before you could defend yourself or say something back he was always there. how gentle and delicate and soft he always was with you.

the stories are such sharp contrasts to your beginning ones with yeosang that it should place some doubt in your mind.

but when your eyes are finally threatening to shut, your mind fogging with sleep and drowsiness, your last remaining thought is you hope you wake up to a message from your boyfriend.

and just a few hours later, that's exactly what happens.

the second your eyes snap open, you sit up slowly, yunho's heavy arm around your waist holding you down, before you reach out and grab your phone. it's barely eight in the morning but you already have two messages from yeosang and one from seonghwa, your heart falling into your stomach at the sight.

because both of the boys had said the same thing.

seonghwa:

-> i'm sorry.

yeosang:

-> i'm sorry, baby.

-> can we talk?

you let out a shaky breath, rising out of bed quietly as you pad over to your chair in the corner and decide how to respond. a quiet, almost pained groan leaves mingi's mouth when you click into your messages with seonghwa, looking at the boy with your eyebrows furrowed.

and then your heart nearly explodes when you watch yunho reach out in his sleep, his hand stretching out until it finds mingi's. you can't seem to look away as yunho's thumb unconsciously calms the boy, soft gentle strokes that causes mingi to roll over and move himself closer to him.

it's all so natural and instinctual, you can't stop the tears from pricking your eyes. you're even half tempted to snap a photo but decide against it, wanting to talk to the boy's first before you start taking their photos with the sole purpose of seeing them blush and hide into one another.

you look down at your phone and swallow the lump in your throat, your thumbs twiddling over the screen.

you don't know if he remembers anything he even said, if he only woke to san's concerned gaze who told him a...minute version of what happened. it's why you only respond that it's okay; you wanna say so much more, apologize yourself and assure him that he didn't do anything wrong, but you know now isn't the time.

seonghwa needs time to himself and you need time to talk with yeosang. which is why you respond to his message with a short "yes," his immediate text back asking if he could pick you up.

you text yunho and mingi in your group chat that you went to yeosang's and that your parents still know they're there (you made sure to tell your mom in the event that she walked into your room and saw the two large boys spooning on your bed).

yeosang's familiar car pulls up in front of your house as you sit on the couch with luna, stroking her white fur while trying to consider why you never thought to blame her. because if it hadn't been for her antics, you would've never wound up in seonghwa's backyard. but then she purrs on you and it's all over, petting her neck one more time before shooting up and out your door.

any hesitance and nervousness you feel when you sit down in yeosang's car vanishes the second you close the door. because when you turn around, he pulls you into his arms. it's a slightly awkward hug, given the console in the middle of you, but he couldn't wait any longer after the nightmare that was the past ten hours.

"i'm sorry," you hear his deep voice say quietly, "i'm so sorry for what i said. i was a fucking asshole and i didn't mean any of it."

tears prick at your eyes because of all the scenarios you thought of happening, this was the best possible case. knowing you guys still had things to talk about and feelings to confess but getting apologies and regrets out of the way immediately. not holding on to any anger or animosity.

"i'm sorry, too," you mumble into his neck. "i-it wasn't fair of me to say that and not listen to yo-"

"you don't have to listen to me, you can make your own decisions," he says as he pulls back, taking your face in his hands and running them over your cheeks. "i was just being a fucking pussy and thought you...wanted to be with seonghwa."

your lips can't help but quirk into a smirk at his vulgarity, shaking your head as your gaze meets his head on. he's looking at you so intently, eyes boring right into yours as they hold all the emotion and stress from the long night, even with you now in front of him.

"no," you say softly, shaking your head as you take his hand in yours. "i care about seonghwa but i..." the words are right on the tip of your tongue but you don't think this is the right place to say it. in the car, two seconds after making up from a fight. "i wanna be with you."

he tightens his hold on your hand, bringing it to his mouth to place a chaste kiss on. the smile he gives you makes your stomach flutter and swoop, no hint of the painful knot that was torturing it all night.

"thank god," he sighs out, "i thought...i wanted to..." you watch him struggle with the words and don't know it's for the very same reasons you were just struggling with. "just...thank god."

you smile and lean over to place a peck on his cheek, pulling back and immediately flushing when the low growl of your stomach erupts in the car. he raises his eyebrow playfully at you, your lowly spoken "shut up," causing him to smile.

"how 'bout we get breakfast?"

your breakfast date was fun and relaxed, given the circumstances. he drank half of your juice and you accidentally doused his waffles with too much syrup, both of you swatting playfully at the other. but the second you get to his house and take a seat on his sofa, you know the talk isn't over yet.

because when things are said like that in the moment, it's important to know if those are hidden thoughts that you've been keeping from each other. it's why you're the first to prompt the question and start the conversation, even though you just wanna bury yourself in his chest and take a well-deserved nap.

"does...the fact that i kissed seonghwa still bother you?"

he isn't even thrown off by the question, the sharp inhale he takes more at the reminder he spit that out in a fit of rage. it was that comment that made his blood boil, not at the fact he had to remember that fact, he remembers it everyday because of the impact it once had on you and him and his best friend.

it was more so that he used it against you, knew how much it upset you and how much you struggled with it but still decided to throw in your face. and for that, he's always gonna feel like an asshole.

"no, baby," he says, voice soft and sincere. he sees you give him an unconvinced look, your head cocked to the side with your eyebrow raised. "i'm serious," he continues, "i knew back then that...that was a possibility. in case you forgot, i used to have to watch you and him be all over each other."

your head falls to your chest despite his teasing tone, a tiny sigh leaving your mouth causing him to frown. he places his under your chin to lift your head, leaning forward to press a kiss to the tip of your nose.

"i was kidding, love. i promise, though, it doesn't bother me. i...only said that to be a dick. because i was feeling threatened and scared."

"like a pussy," you mumble lowly, not being able to control the smirk pulling at your lips. he snorts as he shakes his head, squeezing your face ever so slightly as he does so.

"like a pussy," he agrees, the chuckle that bubbles out of his mouth contagious. but then the laughter stops and his eyes soften, remembering the comeback you said that gave him a hard, aching blow to the heart.

"in case you forgot, he was saving me from you. because you were always the one being an asshole to me and making me cry."

because he couldn't even deny this part of it. he was an asshole and he did make you cry and seonghwa did save you from him every single time. in the library and on the ski trip and even on new years when he fucked up again.

which is why it's baffling to him why you're choosing him. why you're still with him when it's obvious seonghwa should be the one you're with.

"y/n," his deep voice utters quietly, knowing he was gonna speak by the way his eyes were currently roaming your face.

"what?" you squeak, the constant change of the mood today nearly giving you whiplash.

"i'm sorry i was such an asshole to you, in the beginning," he says. because while you guys joke that he's an asshole now, he knows he was an honest to god, true asshole. mean and conniving for no other reason than that that's how he was fighting his feelings for you.

and it's such lousy, juvenile excuse. but it's the truth nonetheless.

"i hate that i've made you cry so much," he hums, trailing his finger across your face gently. you swallow at the delicacy of his touch, warm and familiar and so gentle like he thinks you're gonna break at any moment.

"it's okay, yeosang," you mumble, your glossy eyes meeting his as you feel your throat grown thick with emotion. "i-i know you had your reasons."

a humorless laugh leaves his mouth as he shakes his head at you, feeling his heart pang again because "no reason would justify it, y/n. i was a dick and you shouldn't let me off the hook so easily."

you narrow your eyes at him, turning your head to the side as you take in his words. "what should i do then?" you eventually ask, "dump you? never forgive you?"

"yeah," he mumbles lowly, feeling in his heart and soul that's what he deserves. he shouldn't get to have you when you have other..suitable options. he shouldn't allow himself to accept your kindness and graciousness and affection. he should tell you to leave him and never look back but, because he's not a suitable option, he's too selfish to say that. "something like that."

"well i don't want to," you say firmly, knowing in that obnoxious little of head of his he's probably making up excuses as to why you should want to. that the way he's treated you should outweigh how is he now and probably some other nonsense about how he shouldn't accept your love. because that's what it is.

"because i love you. and i'd be really sad if you made me break up with you just because you're deciding to be a-"

"what?" he asks, his heart stilling and body freezing at what he thinks he just heard.

"what?" you parrot, trying so hard to contain the smile threatening to pull at your lips. but you can't help it, the look of absolute shock and disbelief on his face is far too funny.

"what did you just say?"

"that i don't want too?" you ask, met with a firm shake of the head.

your eyebrow raises in mock confusion. "that i'd be really sad if you made me-"

"y/n," he says warningly, very much on the verge of passing out or exploding.

your small, teasing giggle rings through the pool house and he'd wanna reprimand you if he wasn't in such a flustered state. because there's no way you said that. he had to have misheard, just hearing what he wants to instead of a very obvious-

"i love you," you repeat, the words still foreign and weird on your tongue. but it feels good to finally say it to him, a sad, sick part of your brain wondering when the last time he heard that was.

"why?" he asks, his mouth slightly agape as he eyes you warily. warily like someone trying to protect themselves, save themselves from being hurt by something that could potentially make them crumble and really break into pieces.

but you have no intention of doing that.

"because i do," you tell him, scooting closer to him to straddle his lap and wrap your arms around his shoulders. "so don't tell me to break up with you again or not forgive you," you warn, "because i won't listen and you're not the-"

his lips crashing on yours stops the words from leaving your mouth, smiling into the kiss as you pull yourself closer to him. the kiss itself says everything he hasn't yet, his hands coming up to your cheeks and pulling your faces impossibly closer.

you guys have kissed a lot and this is probably the most passionate. no dominating tongues or threats to make you shut up or an underlying notion to tease the other. just your lips connecting and fitting together like it was meant to happen, your giddy smiles and giggles against one another lips eventually being the thing that makes you pull apart.

"i love you, too," he says, his forehead leaning against yours as he tries to catch his breath. "i don't know why you love me but i know for sure that i fucking love you."

your cheeks warm at his words, your stomach and heart fluttering as you bury your face shyly in his neck. because you hadn't thought about how'd you feel hearing the confession back and it's made you a whole lot more flustered than you thought.

"all the things we've done on this couch and that's what it takes to get you shy?" he laughs against your head. you poke at his stomach harshly and he narrows his eyes, pushing you down quickly as a surprised squeal leaves your mouth.

he's hovering above you for a few seconds before your lips collide again, his tongue teasing to slip inside your mouth that you eagerly open for him. your hands travel up to his hair and you pull him closer by the strands, his small groan vibrating against your mouth before he pulls back.

his eyes roam over your red lips and flushed cheeks, your wide eyes looking up at him with such happiness and love he still can't grasp the fact that this his life. can't grasp that fact that someone like you would want, love, someone like him.

"i love you," he blurts out again, your smile widening at his deep voice uttering that word again.

"i love you," you say back, feeling yourself grow shy again. but it only causes him to laugh, his hand reaching out so his finger can graze across your pink cheek.

"i can't believe you said it first," he says in disbelief, feeling confident just yesterday that he was gonna be the one to crack.

"i can't believe you tried to get me to break up with you a second before," you retort, narrowing your eyes at him in disbelief. his hand gently trails along your jaw, running along your parted lips before he taps you on the nose.

"i still wouldn't blame you if you-"

"shut. up." you say, his eyes widening and a smirk on his face at the aggressive way you say. but it's not as aggressive as the way you sit up, push him back and jump right on top of him. he lets out a strangled groan at your weight on him and you can't help but giggle, placing a peck to his lips before you ask if you can take a nap now.

and that's how the rest of the day goes. your body on top of yeosang's, head on his chest while your legs lay between his, as the both of you sleep soundly. you both needed it after the restless night of sleep you'd gotten, far too concerned about fixing your issues and getting back to this very spot.

it's why when you guys wake up hours later, the winter sun already long gone, he asks you to sleepover.

"please, baby," he whines, his voice still deep from sleep and rendering you completely unable to say no. "i need you, tonight. i wanna wake up to you."

you bite your lip at his uncharacteristically sweet words, smiling as you place a peck on his cheek. "you said the l word five hours ago and you've turned into a sap," you tease.

and any other day, he wouldn't allow you to get away with that. but he's feeling far too lucky and sentimental tonight, still half convinced you're gonna turn around and say never mind.

but of course, you don't. instead you agree to sleep over and wiggle excitedly, jumping up to see if he has any popcorn for a movie marathon you guys just have to have.

and at a new personal record, it takes you both until twenty minutes into the third movie to completely abandon it in exchange for a heated make out. you're laid out below him in just his t-shirt, moaning at the feeling of him kissing down your neck and rubbing at your exposed thighs. you push him backwards when it takes him too long to touch you where you want him to, straddling him with ease before you, without hesitance, pull his shirt over your head.

his eyes widen for a second, thrown by the action, before you press your lips back on his. you both are eventually only in underwear, his hardness right under your soaked thong as you rub against him purposefully.

"i-i'm ready, yeosang."

the boy's eyes widen at your words, immediately shooting up like you aren't riding over his leaking cock and making his body pulse with arousal.

"what?" he asks breathlessly, looking over your flushed body and messy hair. "are-are you sure?"

"yes," you tell him eagerly, "i promise."

"baby, if this is because we said i love you it doesn't mean we-"

"it's because i want you to fuck me, yeosang," you tell him, hazy eyes looking right at him as you do so. and that's all he needs to shut off the tv and throw you over his shoulder.

you giggle and smack his back until he throws you down on the bed, pulling at his boxers until his cock springs out of them and his body hovers over yours. he presses a deep kiss to your mouth before he trails down to your hickie-covered neck, licking over each and every one before he latches on to your nipple.

you cry out at the feeling, more wetness pooling between your thighs as you whine his name.

"gotta wait, baby," he says, moving to the other and causing you to throw your head back with a loud moan. "we're gonna do this slow." and slow it was, his lips inching himself further and further down your body until he was finally face to face with your core.

he rubbed his finger over the wet patch, humming in satisfaction when he hears your breathy sigh and quickly takes the waistband between his fingers. you feel yourself exposed to the cold air before his mouth attaches to your clit, your cries and moans of his name only getting louder the more he eats you out.

he sticks a finger in you to stretch you before adding another one, curling them just moments before the flicking and lapping of his tongue makes you scream out as an orgasm rips through your body.

he gives you a second to catch your breath before he's hovering over you again, taking you by the wrists and putting your hands above your head. "are you sure you wanna do this?" he asks gently, bending down to kiss you again. "we don't have to."

"i'm sure," you say, nodding your head with your flushed face and glossy eyes. you can still feel how wet and ready you are for him. "please."

you remember him taking your hands in his and intertwining your fingers as he entered you, the slight sting causing you tighten your hold on him. but then the pain passes and you're whining out again, getting off solely on the feel of him stretching you and his loud grunts echoing through the bedroom.

neither of you hear how the headboard starts smacking against the wall nor the way your moans and grunts and groans get louder and louder as the smacks get more persistent.

you only remember crying each others names at the same time, the feeling of him releasing inside of you the final straw in causing your eyes to roll back into your head. you're slightly aware of him pulling out of you and pressing a kiss to your forehead, leaving the bedroom to get a wet cloth and a glass of water.

"are you hurt, love?" you hear him ask, wincing only at the surprise of the warm towel between your thighs.

"no," you tiredly mumble, "good. re-really good." you smile lazily when you hear his laugh bounce off the walls, the bed dipping before his arms wrap around your waist.

"you're right," he mumbles into your skin, loud smacks of his lips kissing you causing you to laugh softly. "really good."

you turn in his hold and smile up at him, mumbling your last "i love you" before your face falls into his chest and sleep finally takes over your body. he mumbles his response over and over again, even when you're sleeping and completely unaware of it.

because he loves you and you love him and it's the first night he's peacefully fallen asleep, with a smile on his face, in this usually very cold, very dark bedroom.

(part 27)

[neo-culture-mafia]

IV. Sorry, My Dear

⚠️⚠️TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️⚠️

The following story contains themes of suicidal thoughts and addiction. Please do not read if you find these themes triggering in any way. Read this post before reading this piece of FICTION

Have you heard the story of the guy,

Who decided not to die?

"Another day at the office...another day in hell." Jae mumbled to himself. The black lettering seemed never ending as he moved page after page.

Everyone was long gone and he was left with his thoughts that reflected the current state of his desk: scattered and full on unwanted words.

"Come on, Jae. Let's go get drinks with Boss." Jae had mimicked the voices of the other associates that worked in the office today. "No. I'm good. Got to finish this work. Beep-boop-boop." He moved his arms in a robot-like fashion.

"Look at me. Working me life away. Jaehyun. That's my name." He moved the papers in random places. This would be Jae's 4th breakdown this week where he needed to tell himself to hold on until tomorrow.

Johnnny looked on in concern from behind the entrance wall. "No good, Jaehyun. Don't wear it out." Jae's hands waves over his head in a dramatic fashion as he pushed himself around in his wheeled office chair.

It wasn't until Johnny saw Jae's hands form into a gun shape that he intervened in the middle of his best friend's scary emotional outburst.

"Jae! There you are!" He rushed over and punched his friend's arm. The look in Jaehyun's eyes made Johnny uneasy. It looked like he had been caught which made him break more. "You almost finished? I wanted to catch a movie with you and maybe have a hangout night," Jae was taken aback by the energy outburst at 2 am.

He could only look at Johnny's excited face from where he sat in his chair, strands of hair obstructing only pieces of his vision. "I got the new Call of Duty and PubG for the console." Johnny's hands rummaged in his pockets till he pulled out his phone, his eyebrows wiggling fiercely. "It's only...2:17. We got all the time in the world."

Johnny picked up Jae's suit jacket that was thrown over the cubicle wall and the younger boy's heavy bag. "I'll drive." Johnny pulled Jae up and turned off his lamp.

They were in the darkness of the office and Jae was still shocked that he was caught before he got worse.

"What do you wanna eat? Steak? McDonald's? Junk food?" Johnny's rambling was tuned out of Jae's mind. He followed the taller man willingly down and out of the office building and to his familiar car.

"Uh...doesn't matter." Was the first thing that came out of Jaehyun's mouth. "Then we'll get everything." Johnny's laugh made Jae's heart swell with hope for the first time in weeks.

'Maybe next time,' he thought, 'I'll hang out with Johnny one last time.'

The car ride was filled with laughter and being in the cold air surrounding the both of them.

Johnny still wonders to this day what would've happened if he didn't walk in the time he did. He had been called to pick up the paperwork from Jae's desk but was met with a sad reality.

Jaehyun wanted to escape reality.

Just kill me in my sleep,

Smother me with pillows and kindness, in which I have never seen

This was it...this was the day. He's written the letters and found a place to go calmly. He was in a euphoric sense that nothing really mattered anymore.

He had been on cloud 9 all week as he's happily been overworked and no one ever asked how he had been doing.

Right now, he was just driving. Driving to take in his home city one last time.

The sun was setting when he came to Han River Park. The clusters of happy people congregated in small bursts of happiness and 'its okay' and 'everything will be alright's.

He parked and stood at the grass's edge. He took deep breaths as the air swept across his body calmly. "Everything is so beautiful." He whispered to himself as he watched the birds dance across the water with such grace.

The lump in his throat that made it home was beginning to ache. Yet, he swallowed his pride and continued looking over the people who would continue their own story's even after his had reached the end. The credits would roll and everyone would walk away from the theater without a second thought.

"I mean. I get that's it's pretty. But I haven't seen someone cry at the scenery since my last romance movie." He was snapped out of reality to see a girl standing next to him.

"Excuse me?" Was all he could manage to get out.

You chuckled, sticking your hand out. "Y/n." You introduced yourself and he was trying to not shake your hand, look the other way, and leave without another word being exchanged.

"Jaehyun." His actions spoke for him as he reached his hand out to meet yours. Your hand was soft and warm in his. A warmness and calm he hasn't felt in a while.

"I'm gonna go get some ice cream. Wanna come?" You barely knew him and we're asking him to accompany you to a sweet treat. "You don't know me." Jae got defensive, his arms crossing over his chest.

"I could be a murderer and you invited me for ice cream?" His questions had your face turn up. "Well I'm sure that murderers like ice cream too. So let's go." You grabbed his arm and pulled him down the long stretch of concrete. You walked and tried to match your steps with his long strides. Your arm cutely wrapped around his as you walked.

"So tell me about yourself, Mr. Jaehyun."

He figured living was just easier than falling really high

"We need to clean." You whined while rolling around in the vast bed full of messed up sheets and a relaxing Jaehyun. "Not now. I just wanna cuddle." He grabbed your body and held you close.

"No. We've been cuddling all day. We need to clean." You got up and pulling at his hands. "You can clean the closet and I can clean the rest of the room. Then cuddles." You reasoned and he groaned as he got up, giving into your wishes.

"Fine." He automatically sat on the ground and opened your shared closet doors.

"I'll be tidying up around here." You ruffled his hair and kissed the top of his head sweetly. "If you need anything just shout." He called as you exited the room to probably start on the kitchen.

Box after box of paperwork and more paperwork from the last 10 years of working in his like of work.

Your singing could be heard through your house as you comedically sang some of the greatest hits. His laughter broke through the apartment when your own voice shook with laughs.

He came upon some photo books with Polaroids of you and him. The last 2 years had been lived in a heaven like state. He hadn't touched alcohol and drugs like he was earlier in his life...before you changed him.

His physical and mental growth were apparent in the pictures as he flipped through the pages. Your hand drawn hearts and small journal entries under some photos had his heart beating rapidly with joy.

He put the book next to his side to look at later with you. His hand came across an unmarked cardboard photo box that had a thin layer of dust on it.

He jiggled the lid off and was met with envelopes. The letters. His notes to his bosses and his friends apologizing for what he was about to do.

Apologizing for the mess they were going to have to clean up in his apartment and in the office where his files would never be filed. Apologizing for giving up so easily and not serving out the rest of his life like he had sworn. Apologizing for not being strong enough to ask for help when he really tried to make it obvious. Apologizing to whoever had to find him after it was all said and done.

Apologizing for not saying goodbye.

"Hey. Do we have any tile cle- oooo letters. Who are they to?" Your voice had made Jae jump like when Johnny caught him that dark night in the office. Like he was caught doing and thinking stuff he shouldn't be.

"No one. Me. In 50 years. Y'know," he shrugged, tossing them back in the box and throwing them in the closet and standing up quickly, "time capsule thing me and the guys did." He shrugged it off and you could only nod.

"Well that's cool. Can't wait to see how you've grown." Your smile had his own lips mimicking in want. Wanting to have your blissful ignorance of what those letters really were.

"Oh yeah. Do we have any more tile cleaner?" You asked and he lead you out to the closet where he scowered the top shelves in search for the cleaning supply.

"You can have it. For a kiss." He held it above his head. You waste no time in kissing his cheek and pulling on his arm till you grabbed the cleaner and ran. His laughs chased your own as you both wrestled for a while.

Both of you laid on the living room carpet, just enjoying the close presence.

His heart was at peace.

I'm okay,

I'm okay,

I feel a little bit sick

You had began to notice how Jae had been getting more dull. A year had passed since the night you pointed out the letters. It began to go all down hill from there.

He gave you the same love and affection he usually did, but his eyes held no emotion to big events outside. Alcohol had started to replace meals and sleep.

"Jae you need to eat." You laid a hand on his shoulder softly. "I'm actually going to go grab a drink with some of the boys." And like that. He was out of the apartment. Yet, everytime he came stumbling in the front door with a stench that could repel nuclear waste, you nurses him into bed. Setting an aspirin and water next to his head. Most nights didn't wrap up until 4 am when you knew he was home safe.

You slept with your arms wrapped strongly around his body, afraid he would try to get up and leave to drink again without you noticing.

Mornings would be a rough time as you awoke to a sick Jaehyun who couldn't tell left from right. You were there were comforting words and endless services if bet only asked.

His guilt ate at his chest till there was a free falling feeling that would cease when he took his first shot.

He knew he was getting bad again. He knew he needed to get help but everytime he woke up to face an aspirin and a cool glass of water, the guilt made him drink even more the next night.

He sometimes wished you would leave him to make this easier on you. He wished you would fall out of love and go to bed before he got home.

He wished you didn't introduce yourself in the first place.

But have you heard,

The story of the guy who decided not to die?

Jaehyun got clean again. He started being more present in reality and eventually returned to normal. Sometimes he did get carried away with the alcohol but you were there to help him put down the bottle.

He started openly hanging out with his friends in large gatherings where he didn't mind starting the conversation. He got addicted on life again.

You were all out on a big dinner. You and the other women of the mafia men gathered in the social room while Jae and his closest friends talked and joked around in the parlor.

"Want another drink?" Mark asked as he nudged Jae's elbow. "No I'm okay. I hit my limit for the night."

His friends were the most supportive people that he originally thought wouldn't be. Once be reached his limit, they all switched to fruity drinks followed by water. "So I need your guys' help with something." Jae smiled, taking the blue chalk and rubbing it on the worn end of the billiard's stick.

"What's up, dude?" Johnny asked and all the boys tuned into Jaehyun and his request. "I want to propose to y/n." He said and the room automatically erupted in shouts and cheers. "Sssshhhh." He tried to shush everyone. They remembered the presence of the women in the building and quickly shut up.

"Y/n said she wanted a wedding in the flower fields about.." Jae recalled the previous conversation he had with you. "2 hours from here?" He said and Hyuck automatically knew which ones he was talking about. "It's going to have to be a spring wedding!" He said excitedly and grabbing a pad of paper and a pen from his pocket.

"Alright, lover boy, spill." He said knocking all of the pool balls out of the way, "hey we were playing!" Doyoung protested and Hyuck could only write down the location of the fields, "I'm helping our brother get a wife. Go play with your balls somewhere else." He back handed which caused the room to erupt in laughter.

"Okay. Now. I'm going to need time to get the catering. I'm thinking pork," Hyuck rambled writing down the possible ideas, "or is she more of a chicken person?" he continued which caused some of the boys to chuckle at the wedding-excited nature no one knew Hyuck possessed in himself.

"Also I need to find a cake. I would make it myself but we all know that these beautiful hands would be wrinkly by the time I'm done icing cake for 500 people-" "500?!" Jae said loudly which caused Johnny to slap a hand over his younger friends mouth. "Well duh. That's a minimum." Donghyuck shook his head, drawing a picture of what the cake needed to look like. "amateur."

"I need to get the ring first." Jae said quietly and Taeyong piped in. "Don't even worry about it. I'll take you in the morning to the jewler's to pick out the bands and diamonds. Maybe you could get an engagement ring with her birth stone then the real ring with yours and your wedding band could have hers." Taeyong started rambling ideas, Hyuck writing lightning speed on the pad of paper.

"I call doing the gifts!" Mark and Jungwoo said at the same time. "I'm nominating myself as the planner." Hyuck said writing the roles down. "I'll get the tuxes for us." Taeil nominated himself for the job with a smile. "We need to get Yuta and the rest of the boys up here!" Doyoung brought up a good point.

"Yuta will just bring baby supplies. We're not telling him until a day before the ceremony." Hyuck pointed at the boys but was met with a hit upside the head from Johnny.

"I have to find out the color palette. I'll go to Renjun and then I'll go to Jaemin for the fireworks- Jisung will be the flower girl." Donghyuck kept rattling off things he needed to get done.

"Thank you for giving me this job. I won't let you down." He finally said, laying a hand on Jaehyun's shoulder.

"Better not. It need to be perfect for her. Perfection deserves perfection." Jae said and some gagged while other coo'd at his unwithering love you for you.

The chatty hustle didn't cease as Johnny patted on Jaehyun's shoulder. "You okay?" Johnny asked with a smile on his face. Jaehyun couldn't keep the smile off of his own face. "Never better. On cloud 9." He said and Johnny's heart eased from the constant fear of Jae not being here the next day. But he didn't need to worry anymore.

"I actually need to ask you." Jae said finally putting the polished stick down on the table. "Will you be my best man?" Johnny's eyes lit up like fireworks as he brought Jae in for a manly yet friendly hug.

"I'm so proud of you, Jaehyun."

I'm enamored with the thought of seeing angels in the sky singing,

Singing, "Everything's alright."

Jaehyun proposed the next week. You both went out to an amazing and fancy moonlit dinner where you both danced and decided to start this new journey together.

Then two days after the proposal, he relapsed the worst he has ever had. Johnny found him in your guys' apartment and immediately called you and everyone who he thought he could help.

It's now present day and you can only look at Jaehyun with guilt in your eyes.

The funeral was held in the flower fields you both planned to get married in. The day was cold and dark but he had never looked so happy in his final resting place. "I'm sorry I couldn't give you the happiness you craved." You kissed his cheek before the lid was finally closed.

Now the marble had been set in place and you were alone again.

"I'm not mad. I'm jus-just so...so sorry." You wept, reaching out for him.

"I read the letter and can only ask. Why?"

The only things he had left was a damn note with the words, 'Sorry, My Dear' signing off the page as if he deemed it enough. As if his love had a capacity limit.

"I'm sorry you-you thought I was going to leave you if you told me you were so un-unhappy with life." Your stuttering didn't come to a stop as you could only imagine tears streaming down his own cheeks wherever he was in the universe. The feeling of being ashamed sent you reeling down where you had to support yourself on your knees.

The silent sobs hurt your chest as you had this free falling feeling in your chest getting more deeper. It was as if someone was pounding your chest with a drum mallot. Your heart was breaking as you felt a hand on your shoulder. Yet, you knew no one was there.

"You promised me forever." Your voice was shaky as you brushed the stray pieces of grass away from the marble in the ground.

'Jaehyun. Found happiness in where ours couldn't reach.'

"And I promise, Jae. I will love you...forever."

"And I'm so proud of you for making it this far." You whispered, fingers tracing his name on the polished marble for what felt like the millionth time.

You laid on the ground next to his resting place and looked into the vast blue sky where you imagined him reaching down to you; his soft voice that he used to sing you to sleep with carrying you with him to where you both could live happily ever after. You lifted your hands up as the tears came down.

"You did well."

[taetaespeaches]

I really want read some scenario that y/n is a doctor or student at a medicine college :(( pleaaase can be with anyone

Moodboard by @la-vie-en-tae

“So that’s the part of your brain that makes your heart race when you see me?”

Jimin x MedStudent!Reader

Word count: 2.7K

a/n: Here you go sweets! Sorry it took me ages, but I hope you enjoy. Medical stuff is way over my head so I did as simple as I could think, and that one day you said you were studying the brain sooooo yeah. The brain is complicated though, damn. Oh and I chose Jimin just because.

Gibberish. A textbook full of nonsense. At least that’s how it appeared to you after hours of your day were spent reading, highlighting, scribbling notes, and trying to hold back from screaming, or crying, or both, your well-being teetering on the edge of a mental breakdown. The words on the page were no longer forming coherent sentences, but were rather just random letters pulled from a hat, stuck together, pretending to hold actual meaning.

Flicking your pen back and forth as you held it between your pointer finger and thumb, rereading the supposed sentence for the fifth time in a row, still with zero consciousness of what the fuck it said, the writing utensil suddenly soared out of your grip, slamming against the window across the room, falling somewhere behind the loveseat that sat in front of the window.

With a deep breath in, you clenched your jaw, exhaling in a loud groan.

At the sound of your vocalized stress, Jimin raised his eyebrows, looking towards the living room from where he stood in the kitchen, his fingers gripping the end of a teabag, dunking it in and out of the scolding water. Craning his head to get a better view, he just barely caught a glimpse of you, bending over the back of the loveseat, ass up in the air as your arm fished around behind the furniture.

Jimin’s lips quirked upwards into a small smirk as he discarded the tea bags, lifting both mugs, carrying them to the living room. Setting the mugs onto the coffee table, he bit his bottom lip, his eyes glued to you. “You’re such a tease,” he flirted, breaking the silence in the room, pushing his hair back as he sported a stunning smile.

Snapping your head up, you shot a glare at him, warning him you were not in the mood. Your boyfriend quickly took notice of your current mood, and with the pieces of paper scattered across the coffee table, pens and highlighters strewn across open text books, he easily gathered that the studying must have crashed and burned in the few minutes he was out of the room preparing tea. “Dear,” he pouted. “What are you doing?”

“I lost my pen,” you said plainly, no explanation. Jimin had to hold back a chuckle that threatened to surface at your cute mad expression, eyes squinted, eyebrows pulled together.

Looking past you, Jimin pointed to the loveseat. “Behind there?” He asked, confusion setting into his features. You nodded, turning back to continue looking. “How did it get back there?” Jimin curiously approached you, standing at your side, peering over the back of the sofa.

With a huff, you sat back, crossing your arms over your chest. “I threw it.” Jimin raised his eyebrows in surprise. “Not on purpose,” you clarified.

“Dear,” he held his hand out to you, waiting expectantly for you to take it. “Come on,” he gestured to his hand with a nod of his hand. Staring at him stubbornly, he sighed. “You have about five more pens over there,” he gestured to your messy study area with a nod of his head, though he kept his eyes on you. With a huff, you placed your hand in his, allowing him to gently lead you off the loveseat, only to plant himself right in the very spot you just stood. “Here, sit down,” he tugged on you, gesturing to the floor with a nod of his head.

Cocking your head at him, he smiled brightly. “Trust me, calm on,” he told you with a small giggle. Swiping your tongue along the inside of your cheek, you held back a smile, though the corners of your lips did curve upwards just the slightest bit, which did not go unnoticed by your boyfriend.

“What are you doing?” You asked suspiciously. “I don’t have time for any funny business.” The feigned scold in your voice had Jimin fake scoffing.

“Yeah you wish,” he teased, and you could hear the smile in his voice, which in turn made you smile just for a brief moment before you remembered your studies and how little you were understanding them. Sitting down, you scooted towards Jimin until your back hit the sofa, your biceps cradled by your boyfriend’s toned thighs. “So, the brain,” Jimin started, his hands soothing over your upper back and shoulders. “Tell me about it.”

You attempted to look up at your boyfriend, however, his hands positioned themselves on the sides of your head, keeping it in place. “What are you talking about?” You let out a confused giggle.

“We’re studying,” he told you. “What part of the brain is this?” As Jimin’s fingers dug into your strands and massaged your head just behind your temples, you couldn’t help the small moan of relief that left your lips.

“What do you mean?” You asked, your eyes fluttering shut at his touch.

“What part of the brain is this? What is it called?” He asked again, a small smile on his lips, his tone gentle and soothing.

You hummed at the sensation. “That’s my skull though,” you teased, leaning into the pressure his fingers were applying to the spot.

“Ok, Smartie, you know what I mean,” he giggled. “I’m trying to help, play along.”

A small breathy laugh left your lips, Jimin’s thigh nudging against your arm in protest of your defiance to humor him. “It’s the temporal lobe,” you informed him, leaning your head back against his lap.

Your boyfriend hummed in thought. “What does the temporal lobe do?” His fingers continued working in that spot for a moment as you responded.

“Auditory perception,” you groaned out.

“So sounds?” He inquired, seemingly genuinely interested as his palms flattened against your head, touching a much bigger expanse of your head.  

“Perceiving sounds, where our brains detect vibrations and receive and interpret information,” you explained in a light voice, your tone showing your distraction. “But yeah, sounds.”

“See you’re so smart, you know this stuff,” Jimin said cheerily, leaning down to kiss the top of your head sweetly. Leaning back so the back of your head sat fully in his lap, your eyelids flickered open, your eyes meeting Jimin’s sparkling ones.

“Honey, it’s not that simple,” you frowned at him, “It’s not just simply anatomy, the brain is so complicated.”

Jimin’s lips spread into a smile as he spoke the words, “Believe in yourself,” in an amazingly assuring tone that had your heart skipping a beat. It wasn’t just any smile. It was the kind of smile that stunned you, opened up your heart and filled it with love and confidence. You could see the confidence he had in you, making you feel the belief in yourself that he had for you.

Believe in yourself. You could take that as simply naivety. A lack of understanding of the complexity of the material you were studying. But you knew it wasn’t Jimin being naive. He truly believed in your capabilities and your mind. Those three words were strung together in such a way to comfort you. To assure you. And the way he spoke them and continued to look at you with that smile, holding all the warmth that existed in his big heart.

You smiled up at him, not because your stress was gone, but because of him. You had him. Jimin’s smile grew even more, his eyes disappearing into crescents, shaking his head as he bent over, leaning down to place his lips on yours in a happy, toothy meeting. The kiss didn’t last long before you both couldn’t hold back your expressions of happiness, grins and laughs taking over, leaving you both to look at each other fondly before Jimin straightened his back, looking down at you. He placed his hands at the sides of your head to shift it forward, his hands traveling down the sides of your neck.

“What part of the brain is this?” He asked with a stupid grin, his finger massaging the back of your neck.

“That’s my neck,” you giggled, “It’s not part of the brain.”

“Isn’t it related to the brain?” He asked curiously.

Giggling, you nodded. “The spinal cord and the brain make up the central nervous system, yes. The spinal cord attaches to the brain stem. But it’s not part of the brain,” you giggled as Jimin shushed you.

“You knew what I meant,” he whined out with a smile that you could hear. “What does the brain stem do?”

You let out a small groan at his hands massaging along your neck. “It connects the cerebrum and the cerebellum to the spinal cord. It performs a lot of our automatics functions like breathing, wake and sleep cycles, heart rate,” you spoke as Jimin hummed along.

“Your heart rate? So that’s the part of your brain that makes your heart race when you see me?” He teased, an adorable proud giggle leaving his lips.

“Jesus Christ,” you giggled. “You’re the worst,” you told him with a fond smile.

Jimin laughed more as his hands traveled to your shoulders, gently massaging the area, trying to work out the tension. “And what part of the brain is this?”  He stupidly asked as he worked your shoulders and upper back muscles.

Giggling, you shrugged him off, however he didn’t budge, his hands still working at the tension. “The shoulders aren’t part of the brain,” you grinned at his silliness.

“See,” he leaned down to your ear, leaving a kiss to the shell of it. “You know your anatomy,” he whispered, his hands traveling down to your sides, his fingers ghosting over the material of your t-shirt. “I think you can afford a little break.” You immediately shook your head in protest, however, Jimin quickly leaned over, attaching his lips to your forehead in a sweet kiss. “What part of the brain is the forehead?” He giggled against your skin as you tried to pull your head out of his grasp, only for him to leave his spot on the sofa to crawl onto you, tackling you to the floor, peppering kisses all across your face. He continued his actions even as you squealed and pushed against his chest, uncontrollable laughter rolling out of your mouth.

Caging your body between his arms, he hovered slightly above you, his breath fanning your face. Jimin’s eyes flickered to your lips just in time to catch you in a big yawn. “Sleepy, Dear?”

You widened your eyes at his question, responding with, “Who? Me? Nuh uh,” as you shook your head in protest.

“Hmm, your brain stem is telling me otherwise,” he grinned at you as you burst into laughter at his silly remark. Threading your fingers into his hair at the back of his head, you pulled him into a kiss. Breaking away for a moment, he mumbled, “Did I get that right?” against your lips.

“Shut up, you dork,” you laughed against his mouth before working your lips against his again.

Pulling away again with a stunning grin on his face, he said, “you know, because the brain stem controls sleep cyc–” you pulled him to you again, whispering a shush against his mouth. As you kissed, Jimin’s hands started traveling down your body, sneaking under the material of your baggy t-shirt, gripping onto the flesh of your newly exposed hip. “Wait, wait,” Jimin pulled away again, causing you to groan in frustration. “Are you sure you don’t want to take a nap?” Your facial expression morphed into one of disbelief at his comment.

“Jimin, you’re on top of me, and I’m making out with your face. You really want me to take a fucking nap right now?” Jimin’s eyes widened in sudden realization.

“No-no-no-no-no,” he quickly spoke, leaning down to peck your lips a few times. “I was just being considerate, I’m good with this. Actually, I even read somewhere that breaks are good for your brain. Fifteen minutes are ideal, unless of course, you feel you need longer,” he pecked your bottom lip as it curved into a smile at his lesson about breaks. “And I’m pretty sure this is all legit,” he assured you, his eyes wide and serious.

Letting out a breathy laugh at your boyfriend’s expression, you nodded. “I believe you.” Smiling, he leaned down, biting his bottom lip as his eyes scanned your face.

“You’re mine for 15 minutes,” he murmured as he attached his mouth to yours, his actions carrying more intention and heat than before. You both got carried away, Jimin’s hands moving up your abdomen, his fingers grazing across your top rib, sending shivers all along your skin. One of your hands found Jimin’s lower back while the other was connected to the side of his neck, occasionally tugging on strands of soft hair. Your opposite hand traveled from the small of his back to the waist of his lounge shorts, your fingers slipping underneath the elastic, your fingers brushing along the top curve of his ass.

Jimin placed a hand on your chin, turning it to the side as he trailed wet kisses along your neck. With your eyes shut, you dug your fingers into the strands at the nape of his neck, pulling him closer to your skin. Your mouth parted in response to the sensation on your sensitive neck, eyes flickering open only to take notice of the couch that was a mere six inches from your face. Just as you let out a small moan, encouraging your boyfriend’s actions, your orbs starting to flutter shut in pleasure until something caught your eye underneath the sofa.

Squinting at the object curiously, Jimin moved towards your jaw, trailing back to your lips. Just as his mouth found yours again, you gasped in surprise. “My pen,” you said, almost in disbelief, reaching your arm underneath the loveseat as Jimin’s weight on top of yours restricted your range of motion. Jimin’s face contorted into an expression of confusion as he watched you try to reach further under the furniture.  

With a groan as you stretched your arm out, a mumbled “what are you doing?” rolled off your boyfriend’s tongue, a slight annoyance in his tone.

“Ah,” you exclaimed happily. Pulling your arm out, you held your hand in front of Jimin’s face, showing him the pen. “My pen,” you smiled widely.

With his eyebrows scrunched, Jimin looked from the pen to your face, back to the pen, and back to your face. “Fifteen minutes!” He complained in frustration. “I get you for fifteen minutes, it’s been like five.”

“Ok,” you giggled, “I know, but Baby I have so much to–”

“No,” he quickly kissed you to stop you from finishing your sentence. His hand found yours as he took the pen out of your grasp. “Fuck your pen,” he said against your mouth as he threw it somewhere across the room, the sound of it smacking against the wall and dropping to the ground echoing throughout the space.

“Jimin,” you squealed as his lips attached to yours again.

“Ten more minutes,” he mumbled against your lips. Pulling away just the slightest so his face hovered just above your own, he kissed the tip of your nose sweetly. “I’m doing this for you and your brain, Dear. All because I love you. Appreciate me,” he pouted as his voice took on a whiny tone at the end of his sentence.

Rolling your eyes, you fought back a smile. “All for me and my brain huh?” You asked, raising your eyebrows in scrutiny, only for him to nod as he sported an innocent expression. “You’re not getting any enjoyment out of this at all?”

Jimin’s lips spread into an amused grin as he softly placed kisses on your lips. “None at all.”

“Mmm, you’re so selfless,” you teased between his actions.

Giggling against your lips as he deepened the kiss, he breathed out, “I know,” he confirmed as he rolled over, pulling you on top of him, making you squeal and laugh against him. “You’re so lucky to have me,” he teased.

“Ugh,” you groaned into the kiss as Jimin laughed at himself.

Taking your face between his hands, he squished your face. “I’m the best,” he cooed with a stunning, cocky grin.

“You’re the worst,” you mumbled through your squished cheeks and forced puckered lips.

“Yeah,” he kissed you. “You’ve said that,” he giggled as you both deepened the kiss, taking full advantage of the eight remaining minutes of your 15 minute break.

[ilovereadingandilovebreathing]

Ooo I have a few weakness for irondad stuff ._. Could you maybe write Peter taking care of his dad? Or maybe Tony noticing how strong Peter is and how much he has to hold back during hugs? Or hmmm what about comfort cuddles? Honestly anything would be fine though ^-^ cause I love what you write and as long as you have fun with it I'm pretty sure I'll love it! But yeah! I hope maybe these suggestions help ^-^

IronDad writers have literally been making and breaking my whole life these last few months LOL How about all 3?? Great suggestions, Nonny! I appreciate you. This helped immensely.

Random AU in which May is dead and Tony adopted Peter. Shocking, I know, but you said dad, so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Characters/Genre: Tony Stark & Peter Parker (IronDad & Spiderson); mostly hurt/comfort, tbh

⚠️ warnings: mentions of gun violence (yes I brought up Ben. Don’t hate me.), crying, broken body parts

•••••••

“Hey, Pete.” Tony tried to keep his tone light as Peter fluttered around him like an anxious little bird; the boy muttered quietly to himself as he pushed various pieces of furniture a few inches to one side, looked over the set up, and then pushed some of them back the other way again.

“Pete.” Peter seemed to not hear Tony at all as he breezed toward the kitchen at a brisk pace, quickly returning with a cold compress which he absently laid on the coffee table just out of Tony’s reach.

“Peter!” Tony’s tone was loud but not angry as he called out to the teen; Peter jerked to a stop, seeming to come out of a trance as he stared and blinked at Tony for a good five seconds before speaking.

“Yeah? Why’re you yelling?”

“Because I tried to get your attention in a normal person way, but apparently you’ve focused all of your energy on scuttling around like a frightened hen instead of allowing your ears to pick up sound outside your own head.” Tony accentuated his comment with a grin to show Peter he wasn’t truly upset with him, but Peter’s face fell anyway, his eyes wide and shimmering as he pointedly only looked at Tony’s face. “Oh, sh- Awh, buddy...”

[[MORE]]

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Tony. I didn’t mean to upset you. Please just relax. I can go to my room if that’ll make you feel better. Or I can just leave all together, I guess; I’m sure Rhodey or Happy could-”

“Kid. Stop. Before you give yourself whiplash.” Tony sighed and gestured for Peter to walk toward him. “Come here.”

Peter stayed frozen in place, a look of horror washing over his features that might have been comedic if Tony didn’t know it was genuinely wrought from a place of fear.

“Pete. You’re not gonna break me, kid.” Tony grimaced when Peter flinched, catching the mistake far too late. “You know what I mean. Just get over here or I’ll come over there.” Tony reached for the crutches propped nearby, wrinkling up his nose and making a mental note to get to the lab to make a suitable replacement when Peter wasn’t looking. If that was possible.

“No! No no no! I’m coming; I’m coming. Don’t move!” Peter scurried over to Tony and stopped inches from the side of the couch; his eyes shone even brighter than before, and Tony braced himself for the inevitable flood. Peter hadn’t cried since everything started, and he knew it was only a matter of time before the kid’s guilt shattered him to pieces.

Tony shimmied back so that his side was against the back of the spacious sectional sofa, patting the now empty space beside him. Peter eyed him warily, finally looking at all of Tony before letting out a shaky sigh.

“Please, Tony.” Peter whispered, his voice catching painfully. “I....I can’t. Not yet.”

“Okay.” Tony reached out a hand, and Peter took it slowly, eying Tony in case he tried anything. Tony smiled stiffly and rubbed his thumb over the back of Peter’s hand while studying the boy’s face carefully. “It’s not your fault, Peter.”

Peter jerked violently and dropped Tony’s hand; he stared in disbelief at his mentor-turned-father, his mouth slightly agape and nostrils flaring. “That’s...how can you say that?” His voice was low, but his tone was bitter and biting though Tony knew Peter’s ire was not aimed toward him. “You wouldn’t be in this situation if it wasn’t for me.”

“I mean, you’re not wrong.” Tony sighed at Peter’s shocked expression. “You definitely played a part in this situation, but so did I. And so did the idiot who didn’t know how to stop or redirect a pair of ice skates. I guess he was shocked that a toothpick could pick up such a hunk of meat.” Tony snorted but immediately ground his teeth together when his comment didn’t soften Peter’s gaze at all. “Look, Pete. Times were had. Mistakes were made. Tonys were dropped, and a foot was broken, but it’s not the end of all things, okay? I’m not a fragile little porcelain bird; I don’t always shatter when I fall, but this time just happened to be a bad break. No pun intended.”

“But that’s the point!” Peter was actually on the brink of a breakdown, his voice manic with fear and guilt. “You’ve done so much in your Iron-Man suit, and you’ve ended up okay. I’ve been so careful to control my powers, but the one time I decide to have a little fun, I screw everything up by being careless, and now you’re hurt!” Peter threw an arm toward Tony’s left foot which was encased in a red cast and propped on a stack of throw pillows that had come with the couch.

“It was fun, though.” Tony drew up a fond if not slightly devious smile. “I haven’t been carried around like that since I was a kid. I felt like a five-year-old. And the look on that guy’s face. I’ve never seen a man more terrified of me. Did you hear how he said, ‘T-Tony Stark?!’” Tony brought his hands to his mouth in a cartoonish manner, eyes comically wide and teeth chattering like a frightened Scooby Doo. He quickly dropped the façade and smirked devilishly. “I wonder if he thinks we’ll sue. We’ll hold off on making a statement; that’ll be plenty of karma for my foot.”

Peter’s brow creased at “we,” but he stayed silent, pulling and twisting at the edges of his sweater’s sleeves and worrying his bottom lip between his teeth.

“Pete, I can’t truly have fun with the situation if you’re all pouty like that.”

“What’s fun about this?” Peter grumbled and slouched with his arms crossed.

Tony laughed out loud, startling Peter with the boom in his tone. “Now you look like the five-year-old. There’s plenty that’s fun. I can order Happy around in a way I haven’t been able to since Afghanistan. He’s even better than you at the worried hen impersonation.” Tony just wrinkled his nose at Peter’s sidelong glare. “Pepper won’t dream of getting on my case right now; at least, not like normal. A short break from Stark Industries stuff is a nice change of pace. Definitely no Avengers stuff for a while which is fine with me. I need time here to settle in with my kiddo.” Tony’s features softened when Peter’s cheeks heated with a blush; the teen refused to meet the billionaire’s gaze, so he continued on quietly. “My son. My adopted child named Peter Parker who is one of the best things that’s ever happened to me, regardless of what has happened or will happen. Sleepless nights and broken feet and all.”

Peter worked his jaw painfully, his lips curling and uncurling as he fought with himself.

Tony lightly snapped his fingers and gestured for Peter to meet his gaze, smiling a closed-lipped smile that reached to his eyes before quietly but firmly declaring, “I forgive you, Peter.”

Peter didn’t react at first. He stared at Tony for a moment with his jaw clenched so tight Tony worried he might break a tooth, but then twin tears broke free when Peter blinked for longer than normal, and his face crumpled. He let his head fall forward into his hands as quiet, broken cries tore up and out of his throat.

Tony reached out and tugged lightly on Peter’s sweater until the boy finally acquiesced and dropped onto the very edge of the couch, sitting parellel to Tony. Rolling his eyes, Tony sat up and pulled Peter into his arms, cupping his son’s head with one hand as he cried into Tony’s shoulder. “I know, buddy. I know. It’s okay. I’m going to be okay. And so are you.”

Peter finally wrapped his arms firmly around Tony’s midsection, clinging to the back of his sweatshirt, and Tony tilted his head to rest against Peter’s.

Tony gasped when Peter’s hug became just a bit too hard, squeezing the air out of him, and he felt Peter stiffen in his hold and try to pull away. Tony, however, had no intention of letting go of his kid until his cries died down, so he held Peter tighter and reclined back against the couch, giving them both a second to readjust before sliding his hand back into Peter’s messy curls.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” Peter was muttering repetitiously into one of his hands which was balled in a tight fist against his mouth, trying in vain to keep in his cries.

“I forgive you, Peter. For everything. I’ll never get mad at you for loving me.”

“But I hurt you.”

“On accident. While showing how much you love me by having fun and hugging me. I’m not mad, buddy, so I need you to get out whatever guilt you’re feeling, okay?” Peter took in a gasping breath, and it finally clicked for Tony; he rested his chin on Peter’s head and murmured into his hair. “Not that I don’t think you love me or anything, but what’s really got you so worked up?”

“What do you mean?” Peter stuttered quietly.

“I know you feel bad about dropping me, but we both know I could’ve gotten out easily and that it was the other guy’s fault, not yours.”

“But I snuck up behind and surprised you.”

“So? I could’ve told you to put me down, and I know you would have. Please, kid, you gotta tell me what’s had you creeping around me like a hand-shy stray kitten for the past few days.”

Peter was silent save for his cries, and Tony looked toward the ceiling and closed his eyes, willing himself to be patient.

After a full minute of silence, Peter sighed heavily.

“...You know what happened to Ben?”

“Only what you’ve told me.”

That wasn’t entirely true. Tony had definitely dug up what he could on Ben Parker’s murder, and, putting Peter’s and his pieces together, he knew Peter had his powers when his dad’s brother, a police officer and Peter’s guardian at the time, was shot outside of a gas station in Queens while trying to stop a mugging. Unarmed. Tony had come to understand so much about Peter after reading about Ben’s case.

Tony’s wandering thoughts halted when Peter cleared his throat.

“It’s just...I was there...the night he died. I was in my crummy old Spider-Man costume, watching Queens from a building near the gas station.” Peter sighed a deep, trembling sigh, and Tony felt tears drip onto the hand that held Peter against him. “I heard them yelling, but I figured it was some drunk guys fighting over a lotto card or something, but when I really listened, my enhanced hearing picked up his voice. I tried to web over, but...it was too late.” Peter’s voice cracked and trembled. “So now, knowing that I have these powers that can do good...that could have done good...I don’t want to do anything else, you know? I never want my powers to be a bad thing, so it just sucks so much that I hurt my dad-” Peter cut off with a sharp intake of breath, biting his lip hard and squeezing his eyes shut though tears still leaked out. “That I hurt you, especially after everything you’ve done for me. I just feel so bad.”

“I know.” Tony readjusted them so that Peter’s head rested against his shoulder; his tone was low and even in Peter’s ear. “I know you get your moral compass from Ben and his self-sacrificial nature, and I’m so glad you had someone as loving and dedicated as Ben to raise you during your formative years.” Peter shook against him, his breath coming in short bursts, and Tony wrapped both arms around Peter to secure him as closely and tightly as possible. “But, Peter, you have to drop this guilt, okay? I know I didn’t know Ben, but he wouldn’t want this for you. He’d want you to be living it up and happy with me. Not mulling over something you didn’t have control over. Multiple somethings.”

Peter continued to whimper into Tony’s neck, and Tony just held his newly adopted son, hoping his words sunk in as he allowed the boy to cry himself out as he needed to. The stress of the last day, really the last year since May’s passing, had really worn Peter down to the bone. Despite his healing abilities, Tony had noticed the frequent glaze that settled over Peter’s eyes and the hoarse undertones in his voice. The kid was sleepless, running himself ragged at night being Spider-Man and searching for May’s killer. (Peter has never confessed this, of course, but Tony knew there was a reason Peter just couldn’t seem to make curfew....Plus he’d used FRIDAY to make Karen tattle, but for now, Peter could believe she was keeping it all on the down low.)

Tony had heard (read: read online) some teenager adoption stories that were outright horrific, but the majority of adoptive parents just warned about emotional instability, pushing boundaries, and the critical step of forming strong relationships. Tony had definitely experienced the first two, mainly before he’d even had a reason to adopt Peter, but he often worried about that last part. Was he forming a strong relationship with Peter, built on boundaries and actual bonds? He doubted this often, especially when Peter exploded or they disagreed loudly, but right now, with his kid in his arms and finally, if not too carefully, hugging him back, Tony told those fears to back off.

Peter was his kid, and Tony loved Peter Parker more than any other teenager in the world.

Superpowers, broken foot, crying mess, and all.

[deck-of-cards-arc]

🃏-🌹

🌹 “Jacques?”

I could only see their blonde head flinch upon their name, before turning back to me

🃏 “Oh! Rose, sorry I must’ve woken you!”

🌹 “It’s fine. What about you?”

🃏 “Hehe, I just like to get up and early. Maybe a little too early, whoops!”

🌹 “Uhuh…”

🃏 “No worries! I’m okay. I have the sound of the water reminding me of the rain. I always enjoy the rain, splishing and splashing in the puddles. Like when I just a wee child too!”

I raised an eyebrow as Jacques giggled, it wasn't long before the laughter had died down. The sound faded, blended into trickling of water.

🃏 “Guess I don’t really fool anyone anymore, do I?”

🌹 “After your breakdown, maybe not. You know you don’t have to fake a smile for me.”

🃏 “Just, a force of habit, really”

🌹 “It’s okay, you can just…be honest with me right now.”

🃏 “Then, hmm, I guess…I could use a walk. This place is really stuffy, after all. There’s a bit of a problem with that.”

🌹 “And what’s that?”

🃏 “I…I don’t know where to go”

🌹 “…really?”

🃏 “I get lost easily, sometimes. I’m not exactly too bright with directions, not unles I’ve been here before. And everyone else is asleep so…”

🌹 “I can just teleport you out, but I have to tag along to bring you back.”

🃏 “It’s alright, it’s only a walk. Plus, it’ll be a quick bonding time for us”

🌹 “Heh, sure. C’mon.”

Crawling my body near the edge of the wooden frame, I placed a limp hand on their shoulder and snapped my fingers with the other. Just as they blinked, their heterochromatic eyes met the coloured night sky. The darkness above us, painted with blue and pale white streaks of midnight across the clouds. The soft luminance of the moon, coupled with the splatter and splash of the stars across the canvas. The breeze passing us by as we stood in front of the view of the village. Some lights were left on for the night owls, though the most had shut or began to shut their windows tight for the eventide. It was a gorgeous sight, one to be distracted by. And Jacques was completely enthralled, their eyes seemingly regaining the sparks they once had. Although, not as excitedly as I would've imagined, just a calm smile as they surveyed the sleepy town. The Joker-bound stood up from the grassy plain, bending back down to offer a hand. Naturally, I took it and let them pull me up to stand as well.

It was automatic, we began strolling the perimeter near view. How far we had walker, I wasn’t sure. All I could tell was that we made a considerable distance yet it felt mere second passing. I simply walked with my hands holding each other behind my back. The blonde skipped slowly, hopping from each spot of grass with satisfying crinkles. However, despite such playful behaviour, the silence was solemn. As if it were to send one’s condolences rather than enjoy the peaceful night outside. I clutched my own hand tighter upon such a thought, so I picked up my paces and scampered closer to Jacques.

🌹 “You seem to enjoy the outside a lot”

🃏 “Mhmm…I don’t think you know this about me, but my family is entirely made up of farmers. I practically grew up with nature as my third parent”

🌹 “Really? That's interesting trivia.”

🃏 “Yeah, it’s apparently a shock to many as well... I guess they envision me from a long line of warriors or noblemen, or something. Really, the Joker card can pick anybody…doesn't really matter as long as the card deems you fit to wield it”

🌹 “Does the card have a sort of consciousness then? It should have since it made the choice to pick you”

🃏 “I think so, maybe. Nobody really knows how these cards came to be, what gave them this power. Not even the Priests and Priestesses truly know the source of it all. And they dedicated years to learning these cards.”

🌹 “Hmm…”

🃏 “I don’t come from a family that bothers too much in this sort of stuff, so it’s a mystery as to why I was picked. But my fate was sealed anyway…”

They stop skipping, halting in their place. I stopped too. Taking an eye off the scenic spot, my ice blue gaze trailed to their hand. Holding the Joker card, possibly crushing it in their grasp.

🃏 “And I’ll have to bear the costs this power has. Until I die.”

The silence afterwards was just as crushing. I couldn’t really think of anything to say to alleviate the tension all of a sudden, at least not before Jacques's head perked up.

🃏 “Wait a minute, I know this stretch of land!”

In just a blink, they launched themselves into a full sprint towards the west. I barely had the bearings to run fast enough behind them. I didn’t even know where they decided to venture towards, not even sure where exactly my feet were stepping on. All was on m mind was simply catching up. Surprisingly so, I did manage to make some good headway before Jacques pulled the brakes and drifted through the soil. I was panting heavily until Jacques clamped my mouth. Just before I could retort, they shushed and pointed just far beyond the shrubbery. I poked my head of charcoal hair through, spotting a small field of soil. Raked, sowed and watered seemingly with love and care. Tiny dots of green sprouts poked through the group, as far as I could see. A barn with fenced-in cattle and poultry situated just beside the field. Along with a smaller house a few feet further away. The town was just a drive away, or rather a horse ride away. Amongst the flat field, was a lone farmer, tending to a small plant. Whoever it was, it seemed to bring Jacques a wide smile.

🌹 “Is this…”

🃏 “Home.”

🌹 “Wait, so this town is YOUR hometown?”

🃏 “That’s why the resistance is here, this is the only place that wasn’t afraid to let us stay. All the other towns were fearful that the Rouge Kingdom attack them. But here, everyone knows that I’m ‘amazing’ and ‘undefeatable’, or something”

🌹 “Guess they idolise you too, huh?”

🃏 “In a more a way your parents would be proud of you for achieving something grand. Still hurts to be treated like prize more than anything.”

🌹 “Do you want to say hi to your parents? We have time”

🃏 “No, at least not at this hour. Papa likes to work late but it gets him sort of cranky. Plus all that work does a bit on his back, so he can get extra mad too. So we just leave him be to sleep at night. I’ll visit them in the morning, no worries.”

🌹 “How old are they? You’re twenty now, right?”

🃏 “They’re uhm…around fifty? Or younger, maybe. My my, it’s been a while since I counted their ages, oh no”

🌹 “So they’re on their own without you?”

🃏 “It's not like they're completely alone, I have siblings. Even then,  I didn’t want to leave, they just decided for me. I just had to smile for them as they wished me well and sent me off.”

I heard the rustling of the foliage and fingers tracing the dirt just beside me, causing me to turn my head back to Jacques

🃏 “I guess everyone changes when they’re around me. I’m the chosen hero of the lands, after all. I was fated to bring hope, peace, balance…To bring a smile to everyone's faces”

🌹 “You’ve never been given a choice in any part of this. Even far beyond being the Joker…”

🃏 “I was chosen for a reason. All Jokers are chosen for a reason. My reason is that I’m good of heart, I can't just reject the choice to be the hero of the lands. Not when it saves lives. And it has”

🌹 “Still, you were pushed into this life, driven away from your home. You had to put on the persona of the Joker by force. Hasn’t it hurt you?”

🃏 “I…I don’t regret becoming the Joker, Rose… I met so many friends through my journies…but…”

🌹 “But?”

🃏 “…But…it has hurt me in more ways than one. I miss my home, I miss my parents, I miss my siblings, I want to just come here without the threat of war down my neck. I just want to help out on the farm, just like I wanted since I was a kid. I don’t want people thinking so much of me. S-so many eyes, so m-many standards, so m-many t-things to think about a-all the time…”

Their legs curled up to their chest, blond head ducked into their knees. Without their beanie, their locks simply flowed in the gentle wind as soft sobs began to gain volume. I kneeled in front of them, pulling them into a tight but breathable hug. Arms wrapped around their fragile form, shivering in my grasp. It didn’t take too long for them to hug back, their arms weak but enough to hug back. Their face laid against my shoulder, I didn’t mind a few tear stains on my shirt anyways. Rubbing their back, patting their head, softly whispering comfort, all the like. I wasn’t going to mind. They needed some release after today…after so many years. How could I deny them of that? So there they were, curled up in my hold until no more tears dripped from their eyes. In the gentle, still night…I let them relax. Let the ambience of the midnight lull them away from the worries for tomorrow. For now, it wasn’t time to think about being the Joker. For now, it was just Jacques and me under the glow of the stars.

 > Next morning

[broken-clover]

Goretober Day 3- Amputation

Hiiii! Happy Goretober and happy national boyfriend day! How ironic. Well, we’ll get to that later!

Since this was another topic that’s a repeat, I tried to do something a bit different. This is short, but I actually kinda like it? I think it turned out nice.

Finally getting into Guilty Gear, hello to Dr. Faust! Plus a certain old friend we haven’t seen in quite a long time.

Additional content warnings for psychosis/psychotic breakdowns, I’m not sure if that’s quite correct but I don’t want to accidentally trigger anyone by accident.

Faust couldn’t contain the venom in his tone as he snarled at the figure staring down at him.

“You’re supposed to be dead.”

“Perhaps so, Faust dear, I suppose I am.” A sickly-sweet voice echoed back at him. “But do you really think you’d be able to get rid of me that easily?”

The doctor shivered in the evening light, from the brisk fall air and from the sheer hatred burning within him. His expression was hidden away behind his bag, but from the way his hands twitched, Faust looked ready to lunge to his feet and strangle the man across from him at any given moment.

A pair of round glasses shone back at him, the eyes hidden beneath hardly visible. A long, snake-like tongue slipped in and out of the man’s mouth, licking his lips like he was starving. Despite being far less dressed than Faust was, he didn’t shiver in the cold. He merely stood tall, restlessly tapping the blunt end of his long blade against the ground.

“Such a shame, I thought you’d be happier to see me again…”

Faust’s glare hardened. “How many times do I need to put you into the ground, Baldhead?

“Kihihi! That’s for you to decide, don’t you know?” The man replied, shoulders shaking with laughter. “How many times do you have to make me come back?”

"I don’t want you here.” He’d just been walking back into town. Things had been calm and normal. Why did it have to end up like this?

“You say you’ve changed, but you don’t really mean it, do you? You still get that adorable little glimmer in your eye, I can tell you just want to take that pretty scalpel and dig it into some poor kid’s ribcage, don’t you?”

“You’re full of it. I don’t need to take this from you.” He snapped.

“You can shut me up whatever you want, Fausty-boy.” Baldhead tossed a pair of gardening shears between his hands, eventually tauntingly offering it out to him. “You’re just too chickenshit to do the job yourself.”

“I can shut you up some other way. That’s how I’ve always done it.”

The mad doctor rolled his eyes. “If that worked so well, then why am I still here?”

Faust didn’t answer. He couldn’t think of an answer. But he didn’t want to give Baldhead the satisfaction. “I’ll just keep doing it. It’ll keep working.”

“It’s because you want it, I know you do. Did you see the look on your own face when that little assassin boy nearly figured you out? Ah, I finally thought I’d get the chance to have some fun~”

“Shut up, you foul excuse for a person. I’m not a monster.”

“What a sick, twisted little monster you are. You know what the worst part is? You won’t even admit it. You act all charming and quirky and innocent and pretend you’ve never hurt anybody in your life-”

“I’ve never said that!”

“It’s not always about the things you say, you know...ahaha, I’ve wasted so much time already. I’m going into town tonight, Faust, care to join me? I’m sure there’s plenty of innocent blood to be shed.”

“I’m not going to let you do that.” The doctor finally got to his feet, staring eye-to-eye at the person who destroyed his life, a perfect mirror image of his own face.

Without even saying it out loud, Baldhead sneered at him. “You like to pretend that you and I are something different. Aren’t you passed that sort of naivete? I am you, and you’re me. One in the same.”

Faust could feel his blood boiling. Without realizing it, he ripped the shears from the man’s grip and buried the sharp end into his abdomen, pushing in as hard as his arms would allow.

“Ah-” Baldhead made a breathless sigh, apparently just as surprised as Faust. Rather than wail in pain, he began to laugh. “FINALLY! Finally, you do it! I knew you had it in you, Fausty-boy!”

“SHUT UP!” Faust didn’t know what he was trying to do. All he could feel was the sheer burning hatred as it seared through him, screeching for blood to be shed. There was plenty to be had in the growing red stain that seeped out through the mad doctor’s clothing.

Baldhead tilted his head backwards, panting and drooling. “Hehehe! AHAHAHAHA!! MAKE ME! MAKE ME!

In one smooth movement, he tackled the man to the ground. Faust tore the shears out of his abdomen, and used the other hand to stuff it into the madman’s mouth. The pink flesh was slippery and wiggly, but he fought to yank it out to its full length until it strained from the force.

“I’ll shut you up. forever.”

The sharp blade sank into the muscle tissue, severing a chunk with a spray of blood. His hands and the man underneath him shook, making the ensuing cuts sloppy and crooked, hacking into whatever it could in an attempt to finally sever the ligaments and rip the whole thing out by its roots.

He cackled madly as he chopped and chopped and chopped, hacking away at the flesh while blood gushed out and soaked his hands.

“YOU’RE NOT ME!! YOU’RE NOT ME!!”

++++++

Illyria National Hospital Medical Report: File #443097961

Doctor on call: Dr. Burton Goethe

Patient Name: John Doe (Identity Unconfirmed)

Description: Patient found unresponsive somewhere in the woods outside of Tivoli, bleeding heavily from the mouth and abdominal area. Locals alerted to the sound of illegible screaming, presumably the patient’s, but no Gears, animals, or other people were present at the site. Patient found with a pair of pruning shears, stained in blood. Additionally, upon further inspection, the patient’s tongue appeared to have been roughly cut out, and a two-foot tongue-like structure was found gripped in his hand.

Current analysis suggests some form of psychotic break, as the patient amputated his own tongue for unknown reasons, and appears to have stabbed himself at some point prior. Patient is currently in a stable state, albeit still unresponsive.

More to be added later.

[jj-ktae]

Millennials - Part 4 -

Title: Millennials Genre: Fluff, romance Pairing: Kim Yugyeom x You Summary: Life is made of stages and each of them is a hard push on the back, forcing you to forge ahead. You’re facing your biggest crisis, and then there’s him, who lives from day to day. Of course he does, he is just a kid. Words: 4749 Warning: Small age difference. Yugyeom x Noona Reader.

Check my masterlist for previous chapters!

Part IV

You don’t know how to deal with yourself. Most of the time, you know how to handle sticky situations, stress, or even yelling customers. So far you did great, dodging the bullets sent your way with little to no difficulty.


But that dress is too tight for a simple drink downtown.

“What, you don’t like it?” Naya enters your living-room with more clothes and toss them on the couch. “I think it suits you.”

You puff, hair flying away from your frustrated face. You’re not sure you can walk around wearing that. “Aren’t we overdoing it? It’s just-”

“It’s a date. You’re supposed to make yourself pretty for a date.” Your friend’s voice makes you groan louder, hands on your hips in front of the mirror.

It’s odd to consider this whole thing a date. Naya can’t stop nagging you about how pretty you have to be and how you should be kind and receptive to Yugyeom. She already teased the shit out of you for accepting, now she is going on and on about how you should apply makeup or how short your dress has to be.

You don’t want to wear makeup and you certainly don’t want to wear a tight dress.

She doesn’t seem to get the whole concept of being natural so you play along, not in the mood to crush her hopes and tell her you won’t be wearing anything too fancy as it doesn’t reflect your personality. She would insist, though, because ‘you can’t go wearing those lame jeans and dirty sneakers. Level up for that kid!’

What the hell does she mean by ‘level up’? Yugyeom is a boy who doesn’t seem to be into fancy and shiny stuff, which shouldn’t even matter because you don’t plan on seducing him. It’s a date for everyone else but you, even though your mind screams at you to just let it go for one evening and enjoy. You sigh loudly, pulling on the fabric to make it longer.

“I don’t think he expects me to be this…glamourous.” You try one last time, checking the clock on your living-room’s wall. “Also, I have to go soon.”

Naya clicks her tongue, finally giving up and aiming for a casual outfit. “This.” She shakes another piece of clothing, this time longer and thicker. “Is that fine with you, boring girl?”

You eye the deep blue clothes, tilting your head. Finally, some normal outfit.

You still don’t know why you agreed. You want to find an explanation to such a weird behaviour but you know there’s nothing more to say.

Against every attempt to lie at your stubborn self, you conclude that you agreed because it didn’t sound like a bad idea. There’s no reason to reject him, after all. You tell yourself that you hate him and everything he represents, but that doesn’t mean you have to crush him and his candid hopes.

Maybe it’s because he gives you attention. Maybe your conflicted feelings come from both his bubbly behaviour which you despise and his caring side which stirs your interest unwillingly.

You can’t deny your behaviour changed.

It makes you go back on full cold mood sometimes, when you notice your own body warming up to his presence. It’s a mere need for validation you think, it’s nothing romantic so you refuse to call this whole thing a date.

The scariest part lies in the fear of him being disappointed by your insignificant existence.

Yugyeom texted you two days ago, asking if you were free tonight. He had a few days off because of important exams and explained they would end today. You accepted, trying your best not to chuckle at how clumsily he writes all his messages.

This morning he sent you a very intimidating “I can’t wait for tonight, noona.” Which turned you muted and resulted in leaving him on read.

Naya’s voice echoes in the room and it feels like a huge bell destroying your eardrum.

“I’m coming!”

--

Yugyeom doesn’t usually panic. He had dates with pretty and funny girls in the past, but never was he so stressed about a mere evening with you.

He hates himself for being so shy around you, his hopeless love crushing every attempt at being somewhat normal. Yugyeom is not normal in front of you and it scares him how easily you would end him with a simple remark. He then does his best to make that date perfect despite his poor competences.

Yugyeom goes for what he thinks is the easy route and asks for advises.

But as he stands in front of his friends, he starts questioning his life choices.

Bambam introduces the situation like he is a dumb guy, a fool who can’t be saved. “Kim Yugyeom, 21, asked his crush out and she said yes. The date is tonight but look at him,” His thin arms shake around him, like he is about to make him disappear. “he won’t make it without us.”

Yugyeom shakes his head, choosing to ignore instead of beating his best friend up. “No one asked you.” He sits the opposite direction so he can face his two other friends.

Maybe Jackson and Jinyoung aren’t any better.

Jinyoung doesn’t know how to stop being a bastard, while Jackson offers way too much to anyone who’s willing to even smile at him.

“Why so anxious? She said yes, right?” Said Jinyoung starts, arms crossed over his chest like he owns the whole building. “Be natural.”

Jackson scoffs, getting up and everyone knows he is going to be noisy from the way his mouth opens. “Let’s prepare you a little bit. Jinyoung, don’t tell him to be natural when your last crush ran out of your store, crying.”

Bambam chuckles, now twirling around the trio while whistling.

Jinyoung hums, unimpressed. “Says the guy who gave all his savings to a girl who told him she needed it for her mother’s hospital bill. Yeah Jackson, let’s all follow your disgusting and stupid gullibility.”

Jackson gasps, pointing an angry finger at his friend while Yugyeom closes his eyes in frustration. “She told me she loved me!”

Bambam stops to snap his fingers at the pair, his body now against the couch where Yugyeom is close to having a very dangerous nervous breakdown. “Why did you ask these two? Even google would provide better advices.” He whispers, shrugging.

Yugyeom groans, getting up. “Forget it. I thought you’d be of any help but I guess I’ll just suck it up and do as I please.

Both Jinyoung and Jackson stop. “No!”

Yugyeom freezes, bewildered.

“Joke aside, stop freaking out. She agreed so don’t worry about messing things up. Talk about yourself but not too much, show interest but not too much, be a gentleman, laugh at her jokes and don’t make the situation awkward. Do you really need us for that?” Jinyoung sighs, lifting a hand toward Bambam who is busy playing on his phone. “You, get me something to drink.”

Bambam snorts, getting up and whispering about bossy friends.

Jackson nods, face now serious. “Do you have condoms?”

Yugyeom turns red with embarrassment. “What? Why? Can we not talk about sex like you’re my parents?” “Safety first! Get prepared for any outcome.” His friend continues, not the least bothered.

Jinyoung slaps his arms, slightly offended and looking nauseous. “I don’t want to know either and I don’t think walking around carrying a pack of condoms helps in conveying honest feelings, Jackson.”

“Fine. Suit yourself.”

Yugyeom lets Jackson pout while Bambam comes back with a freshly made coffee and a straight-out of the dry-cleaning outfit.

“Here. Black for you. Wear that turtleneck, it’ll make you look older than these weird stripped shits you wear. If I were you I’d show my tattoos but well, suit yourself.” Bambam lets the clothes fall on Yugyeom who is torn between being thankful and smack his friend’s head.

He doesn’t know why he asked for help but somehow, he feels relaxed from all the bullshit he just heard. Yugyeom gathers the tiny bits of courage left in him to get prepared at Bambam’s place and is extra careful when he styles his hair, opting for a laid-back style with enough fashion to make it look like he isn’t a boring guy.

He goes out of the bathroom, anxiously looking at his friends. “I’m ready.”

--

You don’t expect Yugyeom to be waiting in front of the brasserie but he is there, hands deep into his long coat’s pockets and leaning against the wall. He doesn’t see you immediately, too concentrated on whatever is happening across the street to notice your approaching form, small and anxious.

“Am I late?” You startle him, body now as straight as an I.

He lifts his arms in a soft protest, head shaking. “No, no. I came early.” He stops then, finally noticing your obvious effort – and you totally blame Naya for this – at makeup. “You look different, noona.”

He inhales, heart fluttering at the sight of you and if he didn’t know better he would have showered you with compliments already.

But somehow, he knows that won’t work with you.

You can only nod, somewhat conscious of your appearance and cursing your best-friend for making you stand out when you only live to blend in. Yugyeom coughs, obviously awkward yet determined to take the best out of this evening and turns around, aiming for the door.

The place is not as busy as you thought it would be. It looks fancy and simple, like these places they show in documentaries about cool kids enjoying night-life the posh way. You look at the paintings and decoration, a mix of renaissance and modern furniture giving off soft Italian vibes. Yugyeom is two steps ahead of you, eyes scanning the area as he stops to talk to one of the waiter.

“Follow me.” The thin guy walks, hands busy with a bottle and glasses, toward a semi-circular table. “I’ll be right back with the menus.” The seat follows the table’s pattern, circling it with deep green padded velvet and sending off intimate vibes wrapped in golden, tiny lights.

Yugyeom pinches his lips, forcing a smile as he leans to speak. “Is this okay for you?”. It looks awfully romantic but even though he loves it and wouldn’t mind snuggling next to you, he knows you can run away at any moment.

Yugyeom doesn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable.

He had planned this out in his head a million times. He knew what to do and not to do, how to behave so you won’t hate him even more, what to talk about so you won’t feel bored. He doesn’t want it all ruined right from the start.

You look up from the table, meeting an expectant Yugyeom who is already taking a step back to let you sit. “It’s fine. I like it here.” It’s true. You do like this table. It’s not in the middle of the restaurant so no one walks by and it’s quiet without it being suffocating – the soft music definitely helps filling the blanks. Yugyeom smiles when you approve and you force yourself not to shiver when his hand falls on your back to lead you to the seat.

It’s still so unusual of him to be taking the lead. It makes you see him differently, almost ten years older than he is and you don’t want to think about how manly he appears to be, now.

But all your resolve evaporates like steam when he takes his jacket off and sits next to you, revealing a tight turtleneck and black pants.

Was he always so built?

Maybe you were wrong from the beginning. Maybe you started seeing him like a kid from the moment he applied for the job at the grocery store. Maybe it comes from your initial hatred. It made you built an image of him which you refuse to take away.

But as he softly stretches his arms and unconsciously offers his chest, firm and defined, all reasoning goes to the garbage. Has he ever worn such fitting clothes before? You’re quite sure he never did, his usual style more of a comfy and layered one rather than a subtle, charming one.

“Are you okay?” He asks when confronted with silence and even his voice sounds deeper to your ears. You look from the busy room to his face and you can only nod at his puzzled face.

You’re not ready for what is about to come.

Therefore, you stay on your guard at the beginning, answering with short sentences and letting Yugyeom order for the both you. He doesn’t force anything on you, even when the two of you stay silent for a while. He knows you won’t become a chatterbox in the blink of an eye, for you can barely handle his presence most of the time. 
Still he tries, opening up about how he has been exhausted for the past month and how this exam period was going to end him. It pushes you to ask more, hence you end up with a lot of information, from why he decided to become a dancer to what he wants to do in the future.

Yugyeom is ecstatic. He answers with glee, eager to tell you more about him yet cautious not to sounds childish. He knows too much about that side of him and wants it to stay hidden, at least for now. He explains everything with care, from how he felt safer dancing, how it helped him deal with bullying, but also the opportunities it offers for the future.

You seriously never thought he had such deep thoughts about his career plan. He cherishes this discipline so much and seems to be so passionate as he explains how free he feels every time the music starts playing.

You can only listen, brain absorbing all his words and it soon becomes a comfortable exchange between you two. You don’t need to talk a lot, for Yugyeom always adds enough words to keep the evening alive. He leads the conversation like he knows that you don’t want to talk about yourself and he is fine with it.

It’s only when you’re done hearing about him that you decide you must share your story.

“My career path is a lot more boring than yours,” You start, fork playing with a piece of marinated artichoke. Yugyeom pours you another glass of Lambrusco but lets you speak. “I just gave up on school to work because I had no dreams for the future.”

Yugyeom hums and as you glance at his face you notice it doesn’t have that look of disappointment most people have when they learn about you.

Instead, he looks as handsome as ever, a smirk displaying on his now peaceful features. “So that’s how you applied for a job at the grocery store?”

You acquiesce, not knowing how to act when confronted with your own insecurities. You’ve never found yourself interesting nor worth spending time with. You understand how that country works and you know you don’t fit in anyone’s image of an ‘accomplished human being’. “It’s not something to be proud of.”

It scares you how you talk too much all of a sudden. You blame your behaviour on the sweet and sugary wine, but you know the truth.

It’s all Yugyeom’s doing. It’s all because of him and his caring face.

He sighs, breaking the peaceful yet dreadful moment. “But are you okay with your current situation?”

You think for a second. “I don’t know. I don’t know if I’m dissatisfied because it’s not what I want to do or if it’s because it’s not what society wants me to do.” You used to be fine with dropping out of school and not pursue a long and profitable career, but as you keep getting old, you start to wonder if it didn’t make you lose your value.

Nothing made you think otherwise, so far. Nothing and no one made you think like you were fine the way you were.

Yugyeom swallows his food and moves on his seat so he can face you, “You may think I’m a brat for what I’m about to say,” He wipes his mouth with the bright napkin and puts it on the table. “but society and what it wants us to be is bullshit. No one should be forced to do anything because of a bunch of people who think they know what’s best for everyone.”

You blink softly, finding it hard to believe that Yugyeom is actually being deep about such an important matter.

He keeps going. “My father used to tell me dancing isn’t a real job. He told me I would end up old and without any real source of income, that I would be a disgrace to the family and society. I promised him I would succeed and show him as valuable as anyone else I can be. I took a part-time job because I wanted him to see I could manage well on my own. So far he never complained, but I know he isn’t satisfied with what I want to do.” He laughs to himself, quietly. “I’m talking about myself way too much, sorry about that, noona.”

You shake your head, fidgeting on your seat so you can also face him. “It’s fine. I’d rather hear you talk about yourself than talk about me. There’s nothing much to say about me anyways.”

Yugyeom looks surprised, eyes wide under the thick layer of bangs. “It’s not true. I think you’re very interesting.”

You try to focus on his gentle face, your heart slowly clenching at the words. “You don’t have to, but thanks.” Of course he doesn’t want you to feel bad about yourself. He is always so soft and caring, why would he confirm the fact that your existence is nothing but a big failure?

He munches on his last piece of bread, laughing and shaking his head. “I mean it. You are as important as anyone else in that damned country. It’s just that we need validation, right? I used to think the same, but now I don’t care that much. I’m happy with the way I live and no one will take that away from me.”

“But you have a dream, at least.” You utter, not comfortable with the compliments.

He scoffs. “It’s all the same, noona. No one cares about a kid who wants to become a dancer.” He puts the fork down and gulps down the rest of his glass, feeling full. He didn’t except the conversation to be this serious but then again, he is happy with the outcome.

He can feel how you underestimate yourself because he used to feel the same. He hates how low you think of yourself but he isn’t surprised. It explains a lot, now.

“Will you show me how you dance?”

His breath gets caught in his lungs, making him cough. He is already too anxious because your knee is touching his and you want to see him dance? Good lord, he might not survive that. “What?”

He looks so alarmed as you laugh. Why does he have to be so adorable? “You don’t have to agree. I’m just curious, now that you told me how passionate you are.”

“We-well, I guess yo-yo-you can come see m-me.” He finds it hard to spit the words, his heart erratic and body warm with apprehension.

Once you're done drinking, you notice the silence is not as uncomfortable as it used to be.

--

Yugyeom almost fights you so he can pay, insisting it was his idea and you shouldn’t have to pay for anything because he wants to invite you and you give up, laughing at how his broad body takes most of the space, blocking you. You end up thanking him, slightly embarrassed because now it does look like a real date.

As soon as you’re out, he spins around, a tiny smile illuminating his now calm face. “Do you want to go for a walk?” He takes his phone out of his pocket, checking the time. “It’s still early.”

You agree, not finding it in you to reject his offer even though you are freezing and were sick a couple of days ago. He carefully walks, trying not to go too fast for he isn’t used to stroll around and glances next to him from time to time just to check on you.

You follow, eyes looking at your feet. Weirdly, you enjoy the feeling of walking around peacefully, without feeling obliged to speak and be social. Yugyeom lets your mind wander wherever it needs to go and you wonder if he also enjoys the moment.

You walk into a busy street and it’s only then that Yugyeom speaks. He finds the noises comfortable enough for him to finally speak his mind and takes a deep breath. He can do it.

“I really enjoyed that diner with you, noona.” You find him looking everywhere else but at you, but you don’t miss the way his face turns red.

You snuggle into your jacket, agreeing. “I did too, Yugyeom.”

He loves the way his name feels on your lips and he finally looks down at you, ready to fire you with more compliments yet fighting with that tingling feeling at his nape.

He sees you all hidden into your clothes and gasps. “You’re cold? I’m so sorry, ah, and you were sick.” His alarmed face looks around the street as he stops to face you.

“It’s fine, It’s not that cold any-”

“There!” He offers his best smile and grabs your hand before walking toward one of the shop. “Hurry, let’s get you some warmth.”

He grips your hand like his life depends on it and you follow, his long legs giving him a speed you find hard to keep up with.

Yugyeom rushes into the shop, aiming for the clothing section and grabbing a deep purple scarf. “You like the colour?”

Before you can even agree he rushes to the counter, not even letting go of your hand even when he struggles to reach for his wallet in his back pocket.

“Wait, I can pay for-” Any form of protest is useless with Yugyeom, who clicks his tongue and explains it’s his fault you’re in the cold. You’d rather say it’s your fault for not covering yourself, though.

Yugyeom lets go of you when you’re both out of the shop. His hands unfold the scarf and leans to wrap the thick knitted clothing around your neck. He scrunches his nose at how it almost covers your face but seems to be satisfied.

He is dying inside.

You blink, eyes barely able to look at him from behind the scarf. When did you become so obedient around him?

He made you loosen up when you thought you had everything under control. You don’t even mind, wondering when was the last time you got someone caring about you so genuinely. “Are you satisfied now?” It makes you tease him, feeling somewhat overwhelmed. You never thought it would turn out this way when you agreed on meeting Kim Yugyeom.

Maybe you knew. Maybe it’s why you didn’t want to do it initially.

“Very much so.” Yugyeom smiles the brightest smile he has ever showed you, straightening his back and walking again.

He doesn’t reach for your hand a second time.

Instead, he walks closer, still looking at the shops and avoiding people walking by. You both keep on walking, Yugyeom pointing at things from time to time to tell you more about him, which results in him explaining the importance of chocolate milk in his life and how he loves eating the same thing over and over again.

He makes you laugh frequently and always ends up feeling flustered which you find endearing. How can this kid be so cute and manly at the same time?

You end up to the conclusion that this is what makes him so charming. The fact that you always had to deal with his bubbly side made you think that he was only a needy child but you were wrong. He too, can be complex.

It makes it all interesting, from the way he seems to understand your struggles to how calm he can be when needed. You never thought he could be so attentive.

“Do you want to go back home, noona?” he speaks when the wind start getting stronger. “I can walk you home.”

You wonder if you should agree. So far you accepted everything, from the bill to the scarf. Maybe you shouldn’t rely on this kid, it’s dangerous for both of you. “I’ll just take the last bus.”

He seems disappointed, but also worried. It’s like you’re the younger one, the girl in distress who needs a man beside her for safety reasons. “Is it safe? I made you come all the way here…” He doesn’t insist but blames himself, his face now pouty and it’s the only thing you need to give in.

He gets you too easily.

You walk toward a bus stop, checking the time. “I just don’t want to be a burden.” You utter, more to yourself than to him.

Yugyeom’s cheeks go up and he is relieved, now. “You could never be a burden, noona.”

You hum, nodding and taking the seat at the empty bus stop. He stays next to you, hiding his ecstatic face into his coat.

--

Yugyeom looks at your building, fascinated. You don’t live that far from his parent’s house, but the feeling is different. It’s a cool neighbourhood, with brick walls and plants hanging onto the numerous windows. It suits you.

You grab your keys, the noise getting his attention. “Thank you for the food, the scarf and for walking me back here.”

The boy nods eagerly, feeling nervous. Can anyone die of a heart attack at twenty-one? “Don’t thank me, I really had a great time with you, noona. Thank you for coming.”

“I did too.” He looks so pleased with your answer. How? How does this boy find happiness in the most trivial things you do or say? It makes you turn soft, so soft you want to slap yourself.

You stop talking, eyes focused on his disturbingly gorgeous face. You don’t understand why that boy is looking at you like you’re the most important person.

You never imagined someone could feel that way about you.

Yugyeom waits for you to speak, but you say nothing. He chuckles, embarrassed for expecting anything and opting for a goodbye. “Good night, noona.” He bows swiftly, heart clenched.

He must run out of here before he starts doing creepy things. He can already picture Jinyoung smacking him for being too confident. Despite his evident disappointment, he turns around and walks away.

Yugyeom is proud of himself. He didn’t do anything bad – at least nothing that made you kick him and he is pleased with the outcome. He knows nothing about the future and how your relationship will evolve, but he is glad it changed positively.

“Wait!” He turns around before crossing the street, not believing his eyes when he sees you running toward him. “Your legs are so long; you walk way too fast! I couldn’t even say bye.”

You know it’s not true. You only snapped out of your reverie when he walked away.

Yugyeom opens his mouth, ready to tell you that it’s fine, that you don’t have to worry about a mere goodbye but he stops breathing. He literally holds his breath like he is in deep water.

The water being you, wrapped around him, on the tip of your toes.

“Noona, are you okay…?” he whispers, words jerky. Maybe he died of a heart attack a couple of minutes ago and it is what heaven looks like?

You part from him, hands on his shoulders and giggle at how lost he seems to be, before you.

“Next time, I’ll pay.” You breathe, not caring anymore about any type of blush appearing on your face.

Yugyeom makes you do things you never did. It’s as refreshing as it’s scaring you but it’s one of those days, one of those days you want to believe and accept something as bright as his personality.

So naturally you reach for his face and peck his cheek, sweetly.

“Sleep well, Yugyeom.”

--

[heartfeltheart]

Alchemy: Tiny Steps

Chapters: 14/45 Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist/Harry Potter Rating: T Relationships: Edward/Winry, Lan Fan/Ling, and May/Alphonse. Primary Characters: Edward Elric, Severus Snape Additional Tags: Crossover, Teacher!Edward, BrOtp Edward/Severus. Sassy beyond measure. Pro!Snape Series: Part 2 of 9. Summary: Part two of the Alchemy Series.  Politics. Either you love it, hate it or you live it. For Alchemy Teacher Edward Elric, he lives it, hates it and loves it when he gets the upper hand. Here is to another year of hell… D/C: I do not own Harry Potter or Fullmetal Alchemist. Discord: La Red(Mesh Mash of… stuff.): https://discord.gg/KYjmVAb Alchemy Series: https://discord.gg/DejEYNJ

Clang.

Clank.

Clunk!

"Too slow."

"Not enough strength."

"To much power."

"Almost there."

Susan Bones panted heavily as she faced off against the indomitable Major General Olivier Armstrong, sword in hand. Five minutes haven't even passed, she already is out of breath and any moment the young girl looks like she is about to keel over. This is the most fun she had in the longest time. None of her previous teachers had ever gone against her in such manner and gave her helpful criticism.

Here's to hoping Susan can still feel her arms by the end of the practice.

Sitting in the corner of the training room is Susan's aunt and guardian, Madam Amelia Bones. She quietly poured herself a cup of tea, non-magically. Something about not wanting to dilute her tea with magic. She also poured another cup of hot tea for Major Miles, whom is sitting on the other side of the small table that sat in between them. They were invited to watch the practice and it amuses them both for different reasons. Bones for reminiscing on how much Susan reminds her so much of her late brother, even down to her footwork. For Miles, the only time the Major General had ever been around children is her own and that's all. It's a refreshing sight.

With one last, clank, Armstrong easily pushed young Susan down to the ground before she put away her sword. She looked down at the young girl with a stern expression, Susan looked heavily bruised, breathing harshly and one of the biggest smiles she'd seen. "Again!"

-.-

"So much…fear. So much… chaos." Edward chanted out into the empty room, his eyes blank and body nearly lifeless. Sitting at the other side of the room is Roy, who is just as traumatized, mumbling to himself quietly. It's only been three days since the last meeting with the Ministry Officials, and many of them are still healing from their wounds. It was agreed that all meetings will be postponed until the last week of August or until the official nomination of Minister is announced.

"I am rethinking if my plans of leading Amestris." Roy stated in a blank voice, he twisted his head just enough to looked over at Edward.

Edward snorted, his previous trance all gone. He now causally sat in the chair and faced Roy with a placid expression. "Now, now. Don't quit while you are already ahead, Mustang. The Major General took care of majority of the work. We just have to finish it…"

"Here's to hoping she doesn't kill us before we can finish whatever we are doing in the first place." Roy deadpanned.

Edward paused for a moment and promptly shivered out of fright. Oh yes… everything will be for not if he gets killed. "At least she took out our main opponent and caused this place to rethink their opinion about us."

"Ah… yes… Opinion." A new voice chimed in tiredly.

Edward and Roy turned to see Alphonse walking into the room looking completely worn out. He had dark circles around his eyes, hair disheveled and looking like he is about to fall over at any moment. In Alphonse's hands is a clipboard that is overflowing with papers, letters and other random items. "Everyone that Major General Armstrong confronted against in the meeting are at St Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries. Fudge just experienced a third mental breakdown, Umbridge is dealing with a broken skull, fractured femur and a couple of torn up ribs, and everyone else have similar outcomes as them."

"What about that reporter?"

"Er…" Alphonse looked through the documents and pulled out a rather thick envelope. "Both wrist broken and dealing with hair loss. Ms. Skeeter is planning on taking us on in court."

"…Can she do that?" Roy asked with an eyebrow raised.

"We'll… unfortunately for her, Madam Bones allowed what occurred in that room to slide under the table due to an old law. Plus, Skeeter wasn't even allowed in the meeting that day and was only permitted under Fudge's watch. She was his responsibility." Alphonse read the letter tiredly. "Bad news, she might continue to slander our names."

"Does she really want to risk the anger of the Ice Queen herself?" Edward deadpanned.

"Well… when she was saying all of this, apparently she was still under the weather. It's up to interpretation at this point."

"...I wonder what's Winry is doing right now?"

-.-

'Think of the honeymoon. Think of the honeymoon.' Winry thought repeatedly in her mind as she fought of another shiver. Half a year at Briggs and that dream vacation is hers…Hers and Edwards. Yeah…theirs…

-.-

Severus peeked his head through the doorway he knew Edward is currently located at. He is carrying a bottle of finely ages firewhiskey and a couple of glasses. Hopefully he'll manage to pry some information from him and break him from his trance. By the looks of it, Edward had snapped out of his comatose like state. Edward sat in a front of the fireplace with his rough draft of his book. "Edward?"

"Hm?" Edward hummed out, his attention still on his book. "Vat?"

"Care of a drink?"

"It petter pe fireviskey." Edward stated, his accent back in full blast. His eyes narrowed on the bottle Severus is waving around in front of himself. "Kood. I'm in need of it."

Severus snorted, he handed Edward a glass before he sat down in a chair next to the Golden Blonde. "That bad?"

"I haffe zeen many zings in mein life. Zeeing zee Ice Gueen in aczion once more, prings pack mein nightmares." Edward flinched at the first memory of meeting the eldest child of the Armstrong Family. He extended his arm out with the glass in hand for Severus to sever him his drink. "I vould face off mein demons any day zan to effer face her head on."

"What did she do?"

"Sche uzed her svord... zen uzed ein ben... after preaking zee ben... sche schtarded kicking... Oh truth..." Edward gulped down his drink in one gulp, he shook his head at feeling the drink prickle his throat as it went down. "Zen... it vas offer. Zey vere all fordunate sche did not kill any of zem."

"You make it sound like you expected death?"

"Ja." Edward answered with a snort. "Hoveffer... from vat I haffe peen told, killing vould rezort to haffing zomeone takeoffer her Briggs Bears."

Edward extended his arm out again, signaling for Severus to refill his glass. Severus rolled his eyes as he filled the Alchemy Teacher's glass once more. At least he got some information on what occurred in that meeting room. Major General Armstrong was insulted, she took personal action and the end result are many taken to get medical attention. Nothing new. Nothing old. "I am surprised none of you were ordered to leave the country or have your minds obliterated."

"...Madam Bones found ein old law..."

"…Of course, she did."

-.-

"Are we going to allow them stay here?"

"I don't know. They should be kicked out! Their minds completely gone."

"Now, now. Let's be rational here. We have to look at it at both sides here. The woman was insulted and acted as such. Perhaps this is normal for them in their country."

"Ugh… that's rather savage."

"From what I've heard, that Armstrong woman wanted to duel them but they declined. Apparently, there's an old rule about this somewhere. By law, none of them did anything wrong."

"…Thinking about it… I think I've read about that law. It had to do when previously no one could come up with an agreement and well… there was a reason bodyguard were allowed now to be in certain meetings."

"What good did for Fudge and everyone else in his entourage."

"…I still say they all should stay. When are we ever going to get someone to teach Alchemy to our children? My son was one of the few that visited Amestris, what he saw over there… Alchemy surpasses Magic in many ways. Did you know Alchemy is highly known over there?"

"What?"

"How!?"

"Public knowledge?"

"Yes. Same goes for Xing. From what he told me, both Alchemy and Magic are similar yet vastly different."

"How are they different?"

"Dunno. All he talks about now is how much he needs to study to continue taking the class."

[minero-tan]

11 please!! For the artist number ask!

OH, SOMEONE ACTUALLY SEND AN ASK!! THAT’S RARE, THANK YOU! 

 11. How many OCs do you have? Introduce them 

 OOF, I have 44 if I haven’t forgotten anyone lmaooo but here goes (introducing them in no particular order)

1. Booty = my first oc ever made. She came to life in 2015 when I was showing my friends the butt of an anime girl as a joke. It was all fun and jokes but for some reason despite me joking around she became the most serious and strickt oc. She’s pretty much the mom friend 

2. Up = my second oc ever made. She’s really carefree and loud. I made her in class when I listened to the song “Up” by olly murs and demi lovato. She’s the complete opposite of booty and she gets stressed out by up the most out of all 44 oc's 

3. Delta = my third oc ever made. He died as a normal dude and then got turned into an android. He’s really quiet and usually in a bad mood. Would kill people a lot more if it weren’t so bothersome 

4. Vision = He’s blind. That’s right, i’m a cruel mother who names her blind child Vision. Anyway, he’s a really kind dude who gets along with a bunch of people. The cool uncle in the group 

5. Mokka = A half cat half human boyo. In the story people who’re pure animals have both animal ears and tails while mokka only has a tail. Had cat headphones in his old design because he hated his human part thanks to his mom who neglected and hated him for not being a pure breed (she cheated on her husb. And he left her because of her cheating so she now gives mokka the fault for that), but in his newer design he grew older and accepted his human part. Grumpy guy who flirts a lot but who’s really bad at it. Also he’s real good with computers. oh AND he’s a Prince

6. Tiptoes = alright, don’t judge me for the weird names, I made her when I listened to the song “Tiptoes” by Jayme dee. She was originally a dancer, but in her new design I made a cheerleader out of her. Still, she loves all kinds of dances and she’s really fit. She’s quite cheeky and will nag on grumpy people like mokka

7. Neta = ah yes, the oc who I probably draw the most. She’s a dog who’s really into fashion lmao. She’s really quiet and collected and really popular with the guys, but at some point I made up the fact that she’s a meme dealer and I decided that I have to keep that personality trait at all costs 

8. Enno = Netas twin brother, but they’re the complete opposite. Enno doesn’t care if he gets dirty or not and he will definitely fight anyone who just looks at him weird. Tough guy, but a complete dumbass who probably can’t even count to 10. Very clingy though if he likes someone 

9. Latty = Neta’s and Enno’s wolf cousin. She’s really loud and really stupid. Wants to be like neta. Gets bullied a lot because out of all the wolfes in her pack she’s the only one who has a white streak in her black hair. But she’s quite the optimist and is practically amazed by everything she encounters 

10. Live = The goddess of Life. She’s really calm and gentle. She can revive dead beings, heal beings and it’s said that she’s the reason babies of both animals and humans are born. Really friendly, laughs a lot 

11. Chi = Live’s evil cousin. Her parents were salty that they didn’t become gods as well and that they were left off with the Knight job where they have to protect the gods and gave their hatred onto their daughter. Chi basically murdered a bunch of gods and wanted to kill her cousin as well but the other gods stopped her and locked her away. Will act like a trust worthy person to get what she wants. Mind games are her thing

12. Mocchi = A bubbly normal girl who just sees the best in everyone. Real optimist, can befriend everyone. Is there for you if you’re having a hard day 

13. Zadora = I was really inspired by a horse I knew lmao. Small shy girl who’s scared of a lot of things, especially strangers and big crowds. Kinda awkward but makes a good friend who’s always happy to spend some time with you. Loves her friends and family a lot 

14. Lium = Quiet demon dude who is really awkward. He could put people on fire with his supernatural abilities, but chooses to be nice since he just wants some friends. Gets terrorized by his look alike twin a lot, but he got used to it 

15. Laru = Lium’s evil twin. Will melt the ice cream of a little girl just for the laughs. Picks on his brother a whole lot but if someone else picks on Lium then Laru will snap their neck in half. Basically wants his brother to become evil and do bad things but he’s not quite succeeding. Good friends with Chi 

16. Frei = A fox spirit lady who actually lived in a shrine but then decided to travel. Real carefree and somewhat of a hippy. Really chill person, great to hang out with 

17. G = another android who got build for the military but then got replaced by newer models (I made him before dbh was a thing). Is a killer machine on the battlefield but will pick a rose and just give it to the nearest person when not on the battlefield. Really protective, he basically has it programmed into his brain to fight the enemy and to protect the innocent. Would be an A+ dad 

18. Majo = A small witch girl who’s pretty much an asshole. Will scream if she won’t get what she wants and will laugh at you if you’re dumb enough to give it to her. Fucks with people, not in a horrible cruel way but putting a dollar on the ground and then pulling it away whenever someone tries to pick it up is basically her go to thing 

19. Shepper = A Sheep boy who’s the biggest pushover, only because he’s so awkward and kind. Will listen to your worries but it’s easy to make him get and do stuff for you only because he can’t say No. Will cuddle you and sing you a lullaby if you’re having trouble sleeping. Gets pushed around by Majo 24/7 but he sees it more as baby sitting since Majo is younger than him 

20. Twen = my 20th oc! Get it? Twenty? Hhhhhhhhh,,,,, anyways, he’s a boy with a lot of energy and a passion for football/soccer. Like, he REALLY loves that sport, he will fight anyone who says that It’s bad. Basically your typical white boy. Still a nice dude, he’s a good sport 

21. Rhett = tall dragon boyo. Really shy but also really gentle. Works as a servant and enjoys it. Will breathe fire if he’s getting really flustered. Scared that he will hurt someone with his tail or just with his big size in general. “You want to shake my hand? Let me bow instead since I don’t want to hurt you"    

22. Morgen = a girl who I’ll have to redesign soon because OOF. I made her after listening to "Morgen Stern” by Rammstein. Basically, she’s really ugly and wishes to the stars that she becomes beautiful like all the other girls. Has her face covered up by bandages which I’ll probably change into a mask lmao. Really sad girl, scared to look people into their eyes. She also gets bullied a lot, and she cuts herself. Morgen hates herself and wishes she would be someone else

23. Rema = there are a few similarities between him and Morgen. Rema’s whole body is covered in scars thanks to his mom who hurt him a lot when he was little. She pretty much destroyed his whole face and then called him ugly. After being called ugly for a bunch of years he grew up to believe that he’s ugly. He came into an orphanage after his mom left him on the streets in the middle of nowhere, so in the orphanage he found a mask which he wears since then. Calls himself ugly and believes that other people think that he’s ugly as well but pretty much no one really cares. Real scared to take off his mask. He’s kinda awkward but makes a good buddy. Will tell you that you’re beautiful 24/7 

24. Kairi = a now zombie girl. She worked in a circus but got killed there by some of her co workers, killed everyone in the circus and basically took over the role as the circus director. Now the circus is closed but the few stupid people who visit the long abandoned circus die there by the ghosts of the people who Kairi killed. She’s Chaotic evil, has a lot of fun when killing. Also mourns over her life when she was still alive 

25. Cchia = ayyy, remember Mokka? This is his half sister. The beloved daughter who can do everything better. Mokka can’t really stand her that much even though Cchia is super supportive and nice towards him. She always got all the praise by their mom because she’s a full cat and was made by both the king and the queen and not by the queen and some normal human dude who the queen had a nice night with, so mokka kinda dislikes her, but she was the only one who stood up for him when he needed it, so he also feels kinda bad for disliking her. She was the one who gave him his cat headphones to make him feel more part of the family. She’s basically amazing at everything but she knows jack shit about technology

26. Melior = Pretty much Aph Poland but as a bunny. 

27. Kureiji = He’s a lot like Up but with a shot temper. One second he laughs and the next second he will destroy a whole house if something happened that made him angry. He’s one of the older oc’s but he’s basically a child. Also, really strong like oof, where does he get all his strength from when he’s just a mortal dude 

28. Joycake = I was listening to a song and it sounded like the girl who was singing said “joycake” and I went “wow, that’s a nice name!!!” So yeah. A really energetic and popular girl. Does dumb jokes and is kinda paranoid. Is a model actually. Does not know what personal space is until she needs it herself. Will fight people for 2 cents, also gets breakdowns quite easily 

29. Mirai = Joy’s twin sister (so many twins in this family). Again the complete opposite of her sister as with every twin what I literally just now noticed. Really serious and doesn’t understand a lot of fun. Hates her sister, like, if someone would throw a rock at joy then mirai would probably just keep walking. A hipster, listens to jazz on a rainy day while sitting on her laptop at starbucks. Wears oversized jackets and has messy braided hair like literally always 

30. Blini = ANOTHER android. She’s like 10 cm tall. Has to get charged with her tail like charger which comes out of her back/butt. Turns red if empty, yellow if half full and green if completely full. Gets angry at everyone, except for little kids. Has to get carried 24/7. Will put a virus on your computer if she hates you 

31. Destiny = the goddess of,,, Destiny. She decides what happens to people and how things turn out. Has a deep history with live. She’s really quiet and can be really serious if she has to be, but deep down she’s just a awkward lady who doesn’t know how to make friends. Takes her job real seriously 

32. Faith = Trans woman! Loves life and is just a really gentle person. Another mom friend but in a kind way, unlike booty who will yell at everyone because she’s worried. Will crochet you a blanket if you’re cold 

33. Mattis = awkward dad friend who’s in love with Faith. Has never fought anyone but will act intimidating if he has to. Has good advice to give. Real quiet, doesn’t talk much but he’s a great listener 

 34. Péja = so many androids! I swear that I made them all before dbh was out! A android specifically made for taking care of the household and little kids. Quite a cheeky android who jokes around a lot. Can easily beat the asses of 5 guys at once and will do so. Gives horrible advice, she really doesn’t know what she’s talking about 

35. Bennett = another fox spirit. He doesn’t work at a shrine like Frei does, but works for a specific royal family. Basically, the queen was about to get hanged so she ran into the woods with her baby because she knew that a spirit lived there and asked him to take care of her child. He’s pretty much a nanny now. A real gentle man who respects nature and every creature on it. Bad at fighting but good at hiding. Great with kids 

36. Temmie = A ghost lady who died as a kid but still aged as a ghost??? Idk what I was thinking there. She lived in a house with her parents who were alcoholics and who beat her more than once a day. She chose to not speak anymore since whenever she opened her mouth her parents already told her to shut up. At some point she tried to run away from home but got hit by a truck and died. Now she’s a friendly ghost who’s just kinda hanging around

37: Totengräber = Their name basically means “dead digger”, which is a grave digger. They are some kind of supernatural being who usually lives on graveyards. They dig out the coffins in order to take the souls out of the deceased bodies and to feast on them which gives them their supernatural powers. They’re quite the trickster but all in all very friendly and usually they befriend the local grave keeper. Can become both genders or neither if they wish so. They can also turn into a beast 

38: Błysk = a old ass dragon man, who acts like a snob and a ladies man. Has tattoos all over his body and is not scared to show em off by walking around completely naked. A real dumbass who doesn’t know much. A “collector” dragon, if he sees something pretty then he will keep it. He’s not awkward or shy but he’s been living alone for so long that he kinda forgot how to have a proper conversation with other people 

39. Damien = A dude who kills all of his girlfriend’s. He falls in love, after a while he gets the feeling that she doesn’t love him anymore and kills her. Usually he scrapes off the meat from the bones and eats it but sometimes he also just buries the corpses in the woods to which he lives close to. He’s been searching for his one true love since forever and once he finds her he is not going to ever let her go again. Will probably tie her down in his basement. Real horny. Really good at making friends and great at acting like he’s just a normal dude but pretty much has two sides which got used to working with each other. Cannot be trusted, he’s real good at lying and making things up to his favour 

40. Ghost man who I don’t have a name for yet = he lives in the snowy mountains together with a bunch of little creatures which contain the souls of little kids who ended up dying on that mountain. Real dad, loves all his children. Really chill and sleepy 24/7 but he doesn’t sleep since he’s already dead. Means no harm, he’s just there to take care of the little one's 

41. Zombie girl #2 who I don’t have a name for yet = Do you know the movie “Warm bodies”? I didn’t take inspiration from that movie, but it’s pretty much this girl who’s the only zombie who can even remotely think and act like a normal person. She was on a trip with her camping school club since she loves nature and all, so when they arrived she decided it was the perfect time to hang herself since she had bad depression and tried to kill herself a few times before. But while she was on her way to find a good hanging spot the other campers got eaten by a few of the first zombies. She hang herself and died but like two minutes later she opened her eyes and just went “Why does god hate me”, since the zombies ate a part of her and so “revived” her lmao. She’s smiling 24/7 even while she’s trying to find a new way of killing herself. Numb inside but still friendly. Has no intention of eating people 

42. Yvette = a ghost boy who’s soul wandered off onto an island where it then possessed the life size puppet which was made by “the doctor”. Originally the doctor was hoping that a female soul enters the body since he wanted to have sex with it but once he noticed that a child soul entered the body he threw it out. Yvette sees the doctor as his dad now. He’s a friendly little fella who cannot remember his past, so now he lives on an island with either crazy or dead people. Seeing a half dead person who got sewed onto the body of a cow is something completely normal for him. Thinks that if humans loose all of their limbs that they’re not going to die since everyone on the island is already not a living human being anymore. Sees the right hand (who’s called Espen) of the doctor as his brother. Gets pushed around by Espen a lot. He’s a child,he just needs some love

43. Voks = one of Yvettes friends. She’s made out of bones, rotten flesh and wax. “The professor” who also lives on that island made her. She’s really supportive, curious and happy, but she has to keep the power of her soul quite high so that the wax that is all around her body stays soft and flexible. If it gets too hot then all the wax will melt off, only leaving the rotten corpse from some kid behind. If it gets too cold then she won’t be able to move. Could kill a bunch of people on one spot 

44. Rakel = a deer slasher lady who lives in the norwegian woods. She leaves the woods only to get some sheep which she will take with her and devour. She’s real scared of adults, so if one goes into her forest then she will feel threatened and impale them with her pointy legs and also eat them afterwards. If a human child goes into the forest then she will either take it back to the border of the woods or take it with her to her barn where she will try to take care of the child herself which sadly usually ends up in the child’s death. Rakel always tries her best to keep them alive, but sometimes a little baby just can’t live off of a sheep cadaver. If someone goes deep into the forest then they will never find out again. Even if they put out a trail of some sort, it will just circle them right back to the middle of the forest. Rakel is the only one who knows how to leave the forest without getting lost. She really just wants to be left alone 

[ellanainthetardis]

A breakdown is coming! I want to know all your thoughts about it!!

[ff] or [ao3]

Chapter 56 :  Escorts Are Forgotten

Haymitch was so focused on the chessboard that he didn’t pay attention to the increasing loud voices until they were impossible to ignore. He looked up at Peeta who was trying – and failing – to get out of the trap he had forced his queen into but the boy looked as puzzled as he was.

Haymitch turned toward the living-room door with a frown. They had the morning off and he had taken advantage of Peeta’s offer of a game of chess, just to make sure he wasn’t too rusty. It was supposed to be his talent this time around. After lunch, he would go on Caesar’s stage and face a Capitol chess champion. It wouldn’t make for a riveting talent show but maybe he would manage to enjoy himself.

Then of course, the rest of the afternoon would be full of pampering for the Victory Party at the Presidential Mansion that night. He wasn’t looking forward to that at all. He was even less enthralled the long train ride that would take them to Twelve after that.

“No, I will not calm down!” Effie’s voice thundered from somewhere in the penthouse. “I do not care how respectful you feel I should be to you!”

His frown deepened but he didn’t stand up from the couch yet. Nobody had come in or out of the penthouse in hours. Whoever she was arguing with, it was someone from the team and he wasn’t exactly eager to get involved. It was refreshing not to be the aim of her ire for once.

Alys hurried into the living-room, all wide frightened eyes and fretfulness.

“What’s going on?” Peeta asked.

Their future escort cleared her throat and nervously twisted her hands. “Effie does not like the outfits Mr Harwyn prepared for tonight.”

“I cannot believe you would do this to me!” Effie shrieked. “How did you even… Haymitch!”

Peeta’s eyebrows shot up and he hastily looked back down at the chessboard, suddenly completely focused.

“I don’t know what you did but I have never seen her that furious.” Alys warned in a whisper, almost throwing herself in an armchair before grabbing a magazine to hide behind.

Haymitch barely had time to stand up before Effie came storming in, followed a lot more slowly by the stylist who was leaning heavily on his walking stick. The gem was orange that day.

“The fuck…” he started because it was always better to take the upper ground with Effie.

“Why would you do this to me?” Effie hissed, her eyes bright with tears. And he shut up because she wasn’t just furious, she was deeply upset. A few tears escaped and ran down her cheeks, tracing clean tracks in her make-up. She wiped them away angrily. “I cannot… This is…” Word were failing her and he watched, helpless to stop it, as her control finally broke and a sob escaped her throat. Peeta looked up, horror-struck because a crying Effie wasn’t something the boy knew how to handle – not that he knew how to do that better. “Oh…” she breathed out heavily, clearly trying to keep a hold on herself. “I trusted you. I trusted you both.” Her blue eyes darted from him to Harwyn. “That you would humiliate me like this…”

“My dear, you are being quite unreasonable.” the stylist sighed. “There is no need to put yourself in such a state over this. Why, you almost look like your mother!”

Haymitch winced.

Effie glared. “You stole my designs and now insist I must parade around wearing them for everyone to see. Worse, you somehow got my lover to steal them for you. You plan on publicly humiliate me and now you dare accuse me of being overdramatic because I am upset?” Her face contorted in anguish. “I thought we were friends! I have always looked up to you! I have always…”

She turned around and rushed out of the room before Haymitch could even try to reach for her. It was too late though. They all clearly heard her erupt into tears in the hallway.

“What the hell did you do to her?” Peeta growled.

“Yeah, the fuck?” Haymitch snapped, turning to Harwyn, hands bundled into fists. Seeing Effie so upset was doing nothing good to his temper.

“The outfits for tonight’s party are hers.” the stylist explained. “She did not take kindly to it.”

“What?” he scowled. “That wasn’t the plan. The plan was…”

“The plan was to have some of her designs put together so she could see she was being unreasonable.” Harwyn cut him off. “And here we are.”

“It was supposed to be a gift, not a bloody trap.” he retorted.

He had snatched a few of her more recent sketchpads before the Tour and he had handed them to Harwyn, mostly because the dinner with her family had been an eye opener on that front. Her mother had drilled it into her head she had no talent and now she refused to see that she could do something for herself on the fashion field. Not that he knew a lot about that but if Harwyn said she could do it he was inclined to trust the man – he wouldn’t put his entire legacy in the hands of someone he didn’t believe could hold the fort.  And he knew it was a dream she would never dare voice. Being the Head Stylist of Harwyn fashion house would be… Well, to her, it would be an achievement and he wanted her to be happy.

So he had done what he had thought would help. He had stolen her designs and had passed them along, hoping that once she would see them sewed together she would realize she, in fact, had some talent. That it would… help.

But he had never meant for her to be forced to wear them at the most important party of the year.

“I have known Effie for a very long time.” the stylist insisted. “And…”

“Oh, shut up.” Haymitch spat, not in any mood to face that particular brand of patronizing lectures. They didn’t need to play at whom had known Effie the longest for him to be sure this wasn’t going to go down easily. “I never meant for this to make her feel that bad.”

“Can someone explain?” Peeta frowned.

He shook his head. “He’s gonna explain.”

And with that he left the living-room. His first stop was the roof but it was empty so he went on to their bedroom, wincing when he found her lying on her stomach in the middle of their bed, her face buried in a pillow, her frame shaken by big sobs, her despair obvious.

Effie hardly ever cried.

Or at least if she did, she never let him know.

“Go away!” she snapped when he sat down. She hadn’t looked up but he supposed she had felt the dip in the mattress. “I do not want to see you. I do not want to look at you. How could you? How could you?”

It might have been a more impressive rant if it hadn’t been so broken and heaved.

“Wasn’t supposed to be like this.” he mumbled, placing a hand between her shoulder blades. She shrugged it off once but when he rested it there once more she didn’t try that again. He gently rubbed her back. “Was supposed to be a surprise…”

“A surprise? A surprise?” she screeched, sitting up and twisting around so she could face him. Her make-up was beyond repair. The smudged mascara made her look like a pink panda but he wisely did not tell her that. She glared at him. “This will be mortifying. There is still time to send for replacement suits for you and Peeta. But me? No suitable dress can be found and adjusted in such little time, not when I am supposed to take care of the talent show. I do not have anything with me that I haven’t already worn on the Tour because Mr Harwyn was supposed to take care of tonight’s outfits and now… Now what am I supposed to do, Haymitch? Even if I dash home and come back with a dress… At worse it will be out of fashion because I haven’t gone shopping in a whole month, at best it will be something I already wore elsewhere and that… You cannot go to that sort of events in a dress you already wore elsewhere! You cannot! What am I supposed to do?” It was impressive how she could rant so long without taking a breath. She did then, a deep long breath. Haymitch opened his mouth but before he could say anything, she was talking again, suddenly calmer. “Of course. I cannot go. I won’t. You will have to invent an excuse. Take Alys as your date. Tell them…”

“Over my dead body.” he scoffed. “You’re coming with me. I need you there. Can’t go back to that place without you.”

The mere thought of standing where the Cornucopia had been… Of dancing where Chaff had laid dead… No. Without her to hold his arm and squeeze his hand when he started to back out, there was no hope of him lasting the night there without going completely crazy. Not after spending the last month revisiting his latest arena.

“Well, you should have thought about it before trying to publicly humiliate me.” she snapped. “I cannot go to this party wearing a nobody’s dress. What am I supposed to answer when they ask me where I found that ugly thing? Oh, I did it myself?”

“Yeah, actually.” he shrugged, a bit irritated. “Harwyn says your stuff is good. Why can’t you…”

“Because it is not!” she cut him off, raising her voice. It wasn’t often she lost her temper so much that she would scream like that. Lately, when they argued it was more in cutting attacks than in shouting matches. And…

“You’re scared.” he accused. It helped quell his annoyance a little. Even if the whole thing was ridiculous in his opinion, just as ridiculous as the pink wig sitting askew on her head. That someone could be so upset over clothes… But clothes were her battle armor and Harwyn should have known better than messing with that.

“Of course, I am scared.” she huffed. She licked her lips and averted her eyes, hugging herself. “I know you have much bigger problems and they have to come first right now, considering, but… After tomorrow a part of my life will be over and… The aftermath… Escorts are forgotten. They become nothing. And…”

“Sweetheart.” he said firmly. “You’re not nothing.”

“But I won’t be an escort anymore.” she retorted. “And I won’t be a model much longer either. Mother is right, I am pushing it. And becoming the Head of Mr Harwyn’s house… It is an amazing opportunity but it won’t be the same. I won’t be in the spotlight as much and…”

“Not being in the spotlight isn’t bad.” he scoffed.

“For you.” she commented. “For me… It is the only way I know to exist.”

And it was sad. Very sad.

He sighed, trying to keep his irritation and impatience in check. Effie had her quirks and even though the whole thing seemed so trivial to him… It wasn’t to her.

She loved being loved, worshipped. It came down to that. Sure, she would remain famous – all the more so with him for a live-in companion – but it wouldn’t be the same. She wouldn’t be queen of the bees anymore. She would be… She would be like her mother and her sister. The former model, the former escort… Famous still, wealthy beyond measure, maybe an important sponsor – though he couldn’t see the Gamemakers allowing that, given their relationship – but not… Not the hit girl she used to be. Not the number one.

And that was without taking into account all the people who had died in the last year and how badly the Quell had shaken her up. They had been very focused on him and his own problems, his night terrors, his panic attacks, his grief and his guilt… He couldn’t really remember them going over her own feelings about the whole thing in depth.

He knew Effie. She would focus on the obvious: the loss of her job to avoid thinking about the rest too much. And, as a result, she would make a big deal out of it. Which meant she had probably been silently agonizing over it for months.

“You’re having a life crisis behind my back, sweetheart?” he joked, tugging on her pink wig until it completely came loose.

She smiled but it was unsure and fleeting. “Perhaps.”

“Should have said.” he rebuked without much heat.

“You have your own worries and I do not want to add to them.” she whispered, looking down. “Your problems are bigger than mine, I know. But…”

“Effie.” he cut her off firmly, slowly combing his fingers in her blond hair. He wasn’t quite sure how to voice what he wanted to say but he knew for certain it had to be said. If they wanted a chance at making this work in the long haul, it had to. “We’re in this together, yeah? Means there’s no bigger than mine, smaller than yours, alright? You’re not feeling well, you tell me. You’re getting scared, you tell me. We figure it out together.”

She glanced up at him, studied him for a second, and then she slowly crawled on his lap and rested her head on his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around her, holding her tight, feeling like an asshole for not noticing it had been that bad… He should have.

She was so good at fooling everyone, at keeping up the cheerful happy pretence… He usually saw through that easily enough but lately… Well, he had spent the last six months focused on himself, couldn’t bring himself to care for anything else.

“I just… I do not know what happens next.” she whispered. “It has been thirteen years and now it is over and… I am excited about the new job and our new house and… I am excited but leaving all this behind is…”

“Huge.” he finished for her when her voice trailed off.

“Yes.” she admitted. “Stealing my designs… It was a cruel joke.”

“Wasn’t a joke at all.” he sighed. “Look… Way I see it… You have a chance here. You’re always sketching clothes, sweetheart, you’re always playing at dressing me or your friends up…” He had been forced to retreat to the kitchen often enough while she played dress-up in her walk-in closet with a gaggle of her friends, after all. He would know. They all listened to her, they all trusted her with their looks… And Effie loved that. She loved making them feel good about themselves – at least when she wasn’t trying to sabotage them. “That’s your thing, yeah? The thing you like most? You’ve got a shot at doing it for real. You go out there, you try, you knock them all dead.”

“You are asking me to take a huge gamble, Haymitch.” she replied. “If I end up a mockery…”

“Yeah, but what if you end up a star?” he countered before rolling his eyes. “When have you ever ended up a mockery? You’ve been my escort for more than a decade and no one ever dragged you for your looks now, yeah?” He gave her a small shake to make his point and then propped his cheek against her forehead. “Being scared of doing something… It ain’t you. Effie Trinket’s never been afraid of anything in her life. She goes in and she conquers. No other possible option. Yeah?”

He understood why this was so difficult for her though. She was always so arrogant it was hard sometimes to remember there were matters about which she was vulnerable. Her mother’s harsh opinions had made some damages here and there. Her natural looks were one. Her designs were another. He was sure there were more she was good at keeping from him still.  

“True.” she admitted. “I make the rules.” She chuckled slowly. “Why, I even managed to make jumpsuits fashionable. Perhaps I will make headscarves trendy again next.”

“That’s my girl.” he praised with a smirk, pressing a kiss on her forehead. Her skin tasted like powder, familiar but not quite pleasant. “We go and we kick their ass with your awesome outfits.”

“And if everyone claims I lost my mind and it is a total fiasco in tomorrow’s newspapers?” she asked.

“Tomorrow we’re gonna be in Twelve. No newspapers there.” he shrugged.

“Will you still love me if I am a failure of a stylist?” she insisted, a bit too uncertainly for his tastes. Sometimes, he really wanted to bash her mother’s head in with a very thick club. The idea that someone’s affection depended on whether or not the other person succeeded or failed…

But he remembered the beauty pageants trophies and other awards that occupied an entire shelf in their living-room. He remembered that there were a lot of runner-up and second place medals pushed at the back and it made him wonder… He knew she had been doing pageants since she could walk and he also knew from comments here and there that her sister was usually the one taking the first place home. It made him wonder just how her mother had reacted to her not managing the same thing.

Probably not well. Probably making her feel like less than she was. Probably implying she wasn’t a good daughter for letting her down. Probably withdrawing a love for which Effie was starved.

His only reaction was to scoff. “Princess, trust me, if you being an escort wasn’t the deal breaker, being a failed stylist won’t be enough to drive me away.” He rolled his eyes. “Not that you’re gonna fail.”

She breathed out slowly against his neck. “I don’t think anyone has ever loved me that much.”

It was murmured and probably not really meant for his ears.

He bumped his head against hers but didn’t offer an answer.

Because she might think that but he knew he could do better. He should have noticed she wasn’t doing well. He should have been paying more attention.

And from now on, he vowed he would.

[theproofinthisong]

WALLS REVIEW

i’m back for my review of walls!!

kill my mind: the perfect opening for the album & to announce the new era. i remember listening to it for the first time and my jaw dropping because i didn’t expect that sound & at the same time, it made total sense. it’s not my favorite genre personally but this track is so audacious and amazing. it’s probably the one that is the most different from louis’ previous sounds (in the band or solo stuff) and he’s giving us LIFE with the pop punk bop we always dreamed of. his voice is unique in every song but it especially stands out in this one, particularly at the beginning of the track. it’s such a fierce catchy and energetic track, you want to scream it at the top of your lungs. this is the type of song that makes the crowd lose its shit live. can’t wait to see it. the gimmicks in this one (the aaaah aaah part and the kill my kill my at the end mostly) are so clever, you hear them one time and boom, they can’t leave your mind, it’s witchcraft. i love the contrast between the very high and very low notes, they’re just perfection. AND THE BELTING!!! it’s hot. the earlier pop inspirations are pretty much there and it’s such a wonderful tribute. no wonder why louis loves this track so much. it’s gold and very very bold. 

don’t let it break your heart: see, the first time i listened to the new tracks (at ccme), i was instantly captivated by defenceless & habit. dliby was not a favorite instantly. but it became one. i don’t know why THE FUCK i didn’t pick as a favorite right on the spot. because it is a godsent. like hell!!! the nostalgia!! the raw emotion!! the hope it’s giving you!! the goosebumps!! and OH MY GOD louis’ voice in his...one of his best vocals. like period. it’s so soft and so strong at the same time. it’s so full of feelings, like the vulnerability!! the song speaks to me so much. AND OH MY GOD THE ALBUM VERSION!!! the single one was already extraordinary but the album arrangment makes it even more perfect and delicate!!! the writing in this one makes me cry, it’s so to the point and honest, like you can feel his heart beating in it. it’s the kind of music you carry with you. i know decades from now, it will remind me of my youth and the happy times i had back then. god i’m already sobbing.

two of us: honestly, there are no words for this one. it’s above everything. it’s without a doubt louis’ most personal and gutwrenching track. it’s not the one i listen to the most because it’s painful and so real. you can feel every crack, every hurdle, every tear, every ounce of desperation, every bit of newfound hope. i have a personal connection to this one because i experienced what louis is talking about. i lost my dad when i was 16, a little younger than louis. and oh my god the words he uses to talk about it and his grief is what i felt and still feel. those songs where EVERY WORD could be applied to you and your situation almost never happen. it’s a miracle. so yeah, it hurts to listen to it. but it also makes me really happy. i feel understood, i feel a kinship to him. and while i have no doubt everyone can relate to this song and have it resonating with them, losing a parent is a very specific kind of grief. and i never saw someone describing it so well in a song. his voice is so angelic in this. it’s so controlled but at the same time it’s on the verge of collapsing everytime and never does. god. if i had to pick a song to have as a tattoo, i will pick this one for sure. what a masterpiece.

we made it: BLOODY WE MADE IT. one of the most IN YOUR FACE larry songs out of walls (even if they all are) and i’m dying. it’s easily in my top 3 of louis’ songs performed live. THE POWER. THE CERTAINTY OF IT ALL. like his voice is so assured in this while still being able to be vulnerable and fragile. HOW?? HOW CAN YOU DO IT?? it’s one of the sappiest love songs i’ve ever heard but those are my weakness and fave. what a beautiful declaration. the lyrics are...well i still can’t believe they’re real. he deadass told us everything about his relationship with harry and how they were able to overcome all the obstacles thrown in their faces. in terms of melody, it’s a 10000000/10. you can’t help but sing it with him. it’s wonderfully produced, like the best kind of pop. it has a bit of those oasis vibes (walls and dlibyh also have them) which i’m a HUGE fan of. it’s such an effective single, like i can’t even count the times i listened to it. fucking treasure.

too young: another case of a song i adored the minute i listened to it, but it wasn’t as intense as with others. now it’s truly one of my most cherished tracks out of the album. the opening lines simply kill you, it’s whispered, it’s tender, it’s!!!! too much for my heart!! i’m swooning. i love that he doesn’t push his voice there, it stays at a low level and it makes it even more louder, in a way?? you feel like he’s speaking to only one person (who?? i wonder...), it’s so intimate i almost feel like intruding?? it’s a fucking gift. in terms of writing, it’s also one of my favorite because there are no filters. it tells the story without fear. louis just spilled his whole heart out in his track and that’s so fucking admirable. a jewel we need to protect.

walls: FIRST THE FUCKING INSTRUMENTAL. it fucking ruined me. someone said this song was like a late night conversation and it’s true. walls is probably the song that shows his personal growth the most, like louis couldn’t have written this song five years ago. it’s so grown. it’s so wise. so full of life and conclusions you made. it’s peaceful. it’s reassuring. i don’t know how a song can make you feel all of that but it does. and the lyrics are one of his best. it’s so significative at times (the goodbyes line for example), but metaphorical also (the cardboard full of clothes lines IS GENIUS and the walls one...obviously the best) and opening the song with a sentence and ending it with it is...pure magic. it’s clever but not only. it shows how much he went through and how he’s healing from it and how it helped him, in a way. and the voice. liquid honey. bye.

habit: legend snapped when he included the princess park line. what a chaotic larrie. i expected nothing less from him. i love the melody, it’s so catchy and happy!! it’s kind of a break after the rollercoaster you just went through. very needed. i’m still having a breakdown over it though. it’s such a cute ballad and beautiful love song. you just wanna move your head to it, it makes you truly happy. sunshine in a song form. like i’m smiling rn. and you can hear louis smiling while singing it too!!! it’s...wow. he’s able to communicate his feelings in a manner no other artist can. i will never get tired of it.

always you: we did our waiting. we were fucking starved. now we’re being fed babes!! miss always you is so iconic. the melody is ingrained in my brain after hundred times of listening to that damn snippet. the things i would do for louis. i love what he does with his voice in this, like he’s changing tones and going from one note to another like a champ. this song is so fucking hard to sing and louis is the ONLY one who can master it. shows how unique his voice is. i’m in love with the high parts and the chorus. dang. that’s a song. tell me that this song isn’t THE SHIT. it’s iconic as fuck. and it’s so lovely. still haven’t recovered from all the baby and home mentions. ALSO the legs wrapped around me line??? kill me please!!! i do not thank you.

fearless: now that’s an adjective that comes to mind while talking about louis. the verses aren’t my favorite melody wise but omg the bridge and the chorus!! he did that!!! it’s also the song where he’s singing the lowest (that head voice bitch) and omg. for now it isn’t in my top but i know it will grow on me and i can’t wait.  the lyrics are amazing nonetheless.

perfect now: we know it’s louis’ least favorite track and it’s mine too. it’s still louis though so still amazing. just like fearless, the verses aren’t my favorite part but same, the bridge and the chorus are wonderful. it’s pretty soft. also this is a song about harry (you steal the scene and it’s unrehearsed??) but some sentences can be applied to family and it’s such a nice & encouraging track to listen to when you think about the people you love. it’s very happy. makes you feel loved and exactly where you should be. and as always, his voice is to die for in it.

defenceless: to the surprise of exactly nobody, it’s my favorite song out of walls. it was love at first sight. you cannot explain it. it just is. in terms of writing, it’s my personal favorite (especially “sleeping on our problems and we’ll solve them in our dreams” which is pure poetry...the talent, the impact...i’m dying. also i put this quote everywhere i could, i’m OBSESSED with it). it tucks at your heartstrings, like it’s a very hopeful song but at the same time it’s full of memory of heartbreaks. i could bawl talking about it. harry and louis’ situation is impossible to describe and to comprehend. the things and contradictory feelings they had to face..i can’t even imagine. but he gives us a full glimpse of it in this song. and it’s so fucking brave to be this honest. it takes so much courage and trust. and i’m just in awe. artistically speaking, it’s a fucking tour de force. but like personally, what it means to louis...oh god. i’m dead. and THE MOTHERFUCKING FALSETTO. louis almost never uses it and oh my god. it’s breathtaking. it’s what you hear when you enter heaven. no one, fucking no one, has this kind of falsetto. it’s so special. it makes me wanna die. it’s too much for my heart. my god.

only the brave: it would have been ALSO my favorite song out of walls it it was longer. because it’s...i’m speechless. also very oasis but very louis. and sorry, but it’s better than oasis will ever be. there i said it. the lyrics are objectively the best out of the album, like i’m a slut for metaphors and they’re everywhere in here. i don’t know how to qualify it really but it has this anthem like quality? i can see the arena and thousands of people singing it back to louis. it reminds me of home in the sense that it’s subtle but very blatant at the same time. like he wrote this for us gay people. that ache is there. the pain. the underlying anger. but the optimism. knowing the hurt but never wishing to go back. the vocal control is incredible in this, i’ll say it again, but the ability to switch to chest voice to head voice back to back...he’s one in a billion. there is an intention behind every line and you can feel it piercing your soul. gimme rest.

4 years in the making. i’m so glad i waited and was besides Louis through it all. i’m so fucking proud i could cry. it’s a masterpiece of an album. it has everything. simply everything. i couldn’t have dreamed something better. the voice, the melodies, the lyrics, the emotion, the confidence, the range, the diversity of sounds, the different influences and the way he’s able to bring the best out of them and make them this, the old pop vibe of it while remaining extra modern..it’s pure art. it’s what art should be. making you feel every emotion the artist wanted you to. no one does it better than louis. god. thank you.