#some of my favourite weirdos

[aotearoa20]

“What troubles you?”

Elwë stared at the spaces between the stars as he lay in the quiet glade. His love is a shadow, dancing around the ripples of his fëa. He could feel his discomfort running between her fingers.

“I’m so happy” he said, mouth open but without words. It was the truth and made it difficult to discern his discontentment.

“I’m so glad.”

She was tangled in the meadowsweet in his hair and singing of things unthinkable. In her voice he saw impossible themes and colours.

“I… I want to tell someone.”

He thought that he must. He was so full of wonder he though he would break.

“You just did.”

The Maia giggled and the trees about them shiver and shook golden seeds onto the ground. Elwë doesn’t think he’s ever heard so sweet a sound.

Though he still smiled, his brow began to furrow in thought. Melyanna hummed in displeasure bringing a hand into being to smooth down the lines on his face.

“No, someone - ” He grimaced as his tongue became dry and heavy in his mouth, “someone else”

He blinked and tried to sit up. The flowers in his hair and along his arms tugged idly at him but released him nonetheless. Melyanna hummed again, a question in her melody.

Yes. Someone else. That made sense. There were others out there in the world. Others, that weren’t him or his beloved. Elwë shook his head. It wasn’t not a bad thing, for there to be others. So why did it fill him with dread?

“You are upset.”

A breeze, warm enough to feel as arms draped over his shoulders, and a kiss pressed on his cheek and Elwë was lost again in the heady joy of being loved. He fell back and the flowers reached out to soften his fall.

But the thought would not leave him entirely, bubbling forth as he stooped over the stream. This was too much happiness to keep to himself, he longed to tell someone.

He though he caught sight in the water of a reflection not his own. Though silver was its hair, as his, and its eyes were blue, as his, and deep as… water, deep water. But the face was rounder and the turn of his mouth though different, no less joyful. A strange longing tugged at his heart. He leaned down, desperation like he’d never known drawing him closer.

But the vision was gone and the name on his lips turned to smoke before he could call for its return.

A cloud of nightgales dragged from the bank, singing and tugging him playful into a dance. And he tried to follow along with them, with her, as he always had but today he couldn’t concentrate. Something weighed heavy on his mind and the steps seemed far too fast. He stumbled to a halt.

“Elwë?” His lover called.

The voice tugged at the darkness of his thoughts, trying to pull him free of it but in the echo he heard another. He gasped staggering back into the trunk of a tree that bent to hold him in its embrace.

“Elwë?”

He shuddered as he caught sight of a vision. The same ner from the stream. And before him, in between them both, another with hair dark and thick. He couldn’t see the new stranger’s face but he can see the way Olwë shakes his head. The grief that coloured his features.

“No!” Elwë cried, reaching out to his friend with dark hair. Whose laugh didn’t echo with the sound of fallen leaves. Whose questions used to drive him insane and now pulled him to the brink of madness.

A bough bent over. It’s knots were twisted into something resembling a face. His eyes flicked to it unbidden and the vision was gone.

“What’s wrong?”

“I lost something,” he whispered, “I must find him”

“What have you lost my love?”

Elwë feels tears prick in his eyes. The rough bark that holds him doesn’t seem so safe anymore. But his fear seems only to make the branches wrap around him all the tighter

“I have eyes all across this forest, my light,” And for a split second he saw them. Silver eyes cracking open across root and leaf. Upon the wings of the nightingales still singing above him and upon his own being arms and face and his eyes themselves. He choked on a gasp but his lover continued in earnest, “What is it? If it is here I would find it for you.”

He pushed the crawling branches desperate to get away. They part easily under his hands but then grass begins to curl around his feet. He glances around wildly but the river only ever sang Her songs and the stone would grow warm under his touch at Her command.

He runs.

Where? Where can he go. It’s been so long. How long? He can’t remember the way out. The forest reached for him. Roots curled up to trip him. He dodged them deftly it but it slows him down and he’s already so late. Too late. Oh Stars, how long has he been here!?

He is caught under the willow tree.

Too slow. The thin branches entwined themselves and wrapped around his arms. He shouted as he is wrenched for the ground, struggling in the air long after he knew it was hopeless.

“No,” he shouted, “No, let me go! He is gone… Finwë, where is he… I came looking for him… Where… how long have I been here?”

The last words came out in a horrible sob. A hand reached up, and of, the ground to wipe away his tears and smear dirty tracks of earth over his face. It just made him weep all the more.

A low whine trembled all around him. It breaks the heart of all the birds and beasts that hear it. Then it breaks his own without his leave.

“What have you done to me?”

“Nothing…” Her voice was distraught, “I… I don’t understand. Why are you crying?”

“I have to go!”

“No!”

“You are hurting me,” he grimaced as the branches around his wrist tighten and she gasped

“No no no,” she murmured and he is released immediately, earthen arms coming up to soothe the angry red marks. They are healed even as he rubbed of the mud.

“You are so fragile,” the leaves whispered.

He didn’t answer, The willow branches are draped around, anchored in the ground around him like a cage. He couldn’t run, so he just remained kneeling as he was. Quivering in unison with the leaves.

“I love you,” The ground is damp. She sounded so sad, “Why are you running from me? Why are you afraid?”

How he wished he could see her face. If he could perhaps he could know if she was genuine. But the last time he did he could not look away until his eyes burnt like glass. She had hidden such thoughts, for they hurt him. She had not shown herself since they were released. Now he could not say for sure he knew what she looked like at all.

“You know me,” she insisted, “I love you!”

And the words echoed around his head until he’s dizzy. I love you. I love you. I love you. He could drown in that love and a part of him wants to. But he can’t.

“Why? I know you love me also. I’ve seen it. I’ve seen your fëa. Why do you want to leave me?”

“I love you.” he whispers the words, as they become truth in the air between them. “But it’s not in my nature to love only one thing. I have brothers whom I love, they were given to me I need them. And people also who followed me. I abandoned them, how could I do that?”

“You are beautiful.”

He looks up sharply at the silver eyes in the willow bark.

“I can’t give you what you want,” he said

“You do not know what I want.”

He pressed his lips together. He speaks as she does. As she had taught him, with feelings and visions he shows her a creature with his face. Lying in bed of poppy and meadowsweet. So full of someone else’s affection with he was barely a person anymore.

The ground rumbled beneath him in irritation but he wasn’t afraid. When she speaks she does so with words. The words of his own people, he’d long forgotten to use. The sound clunky in his ears but he listens.

“You came to me and loved me. I only ever took what you gave me and you gave me everything. I thought that was how your people loved so I did the same.”

“It isn’t.” He replied, he tries to cast his mind back to that day. Melyanna gave him back what he asks for even though the memory makes him flinch, “You… you are not of my people, you deserved more, I tried to give you more but…” he hung his head with a shame she could not fathom, “it is too much. I can’t give you all the love you deserve, I can’t give you everything. Love already I have given to others and that I abandoned them does me shame.”

“Don’t be angry”

“I am not angry at you.”

“There’s no one else here,” she said with genuine confusion.

He lookec up at her, an impossible smile on his face. She is strange. So strange and why should she not be. A being of such power and wisdom and beauty. Who is he that she should try to love him.

“I can’t give you what you want,” he said again.

“You do not know what I want.”

“Then tell me, my Lady. What do you want?”

For a moment there is absolute silence.

“Whatever you are willing to give me,” she said with a certainty he couldn’t help dismissing, “Whatever is good and natural for you to give. I want nothing more. Only… only do not leave me entirely.”

“Lady…”

“You don’t believe me.”

He could not speak, not to lie to her.

She hummed once more and the branches pick up and reach for him. He closed his eyes as they brushed over, little green leave tracing ever part of him. He was not scared anymore.

There is an almighty crash. Lighting, bright enough to flash behind his eyes crackled against the willow tree, leaving the tangy scent of wood smoke.

He stumbled back from where the trunk of the tree has split in half. What he doesn’t expect is the head of a woman to peer over the splintered wood.

She is tall and stepped unsteady over the burnt branches. Her hair flowed about her head as though she was walking through water and stars are entangled in it. Her eyes were as stars also, almost to bright to look upon. Almost.

She glanced down, spinning in a slow circle. Satisfied with her work she nods and turns back to him.

“What have you done?” he asked his heart full of both terror and awe.

“I want you to be able to look at me.” Melyanna smiled, blood rushing to her face and tinting her cheeks gold. “I want you to look me in the eye before you tell me no.”

Blinking he looked her over. His lover, elven in form. He can almost recognise her and he shook his head, angry again.

“You shouldn’t have done that. You shouldnt have lessened yourself, not for anyone. Least of all me.”

“Say not lessened,” she frown and Stars have mercy, it was a delightful look upon her new face, “Say changed for I have changed for you. As you have for me”

He shook his head.

He didnt see how he had grown. He didnt notice yet the pale spiderthread marks her vines had left on his dark skin. He didnt realise how his eyes saw song the way none of his kindred ever had or ever would. How his hair shone with a light unlike the stars, a shimmering silver mantle.

But he would. When he was back among his own people. Then he would understand.

“Trust me,” she whispered ,just until then, she took a tentative step towards him.

He looks at her as if seeing her anew. And falling for her all over but it’s different this time.

“Take me with you?” she asked

And he saw the question for what it always was. A question and not an order. She would not force him to stay, she did not want to.

“Why?”

“I love you.”

And suddenly it doesn’t sound like a threat. He dares to step closer. She reaches up with fingers They sparked as they brush against the side of his cheek. He would not have been able to bear it before but now he rests against her touch.

He looks up fully into her face, leaning in ever so gently before pressing his lips onto hers. He had never done so before. And neither had she but they fit together so perfectly. Only once does he pull away

“Come home with me,” he breathed.

She smiled triumphant and leans back into his embrace.

[misiahasahardname]

tmnt 2012 has so much shit i usually hate (forced/badly written romance, random gross out humour, unecessarily dark/serious scenes) and yet it's my favourite iteration of all time. YES, IT BEATS OUT MUTANT MAYHEM AND RISE WHICH I FOUND CONSISTENTLY MORE ENJOYABLE AND EASY TO WATCH.

SOMEHOW 2012 makes me enjoy tropes i don't enjoy. i was fully invested the whole time i watched. magical for someone like me

[fazcinatingblog]

Oh yeah I saw Bron Lewis work in progress show last night and she quit teaching to do comedy and she's like "okay I've got all these teaching stories, just have to make them funny" but when she sat down to write it, turns out all her stories are like deep seated trauma and

[queerstudiesnatural]

good sensations can sometimes be extreme, and i know i personally enjoy a good few of those, so i wanted to know which of these types of pain are the most commonly enjoyed :)

basically my question is. am i such a touch deprived weirdo that i'll enjoy fucked up sensations no one else likes or am i normal

[norrisjpg]

novacane - ʟɴ⁴

in which, lando is completely and utterly obsessed with his girlfriend, and can't seem to keep his hands off of her - especially when she's in that dress.

contains: NSFW; smut, oral (f recieving), fingering, body worship, p in v, unprotected sex, squirting, cockwarming; tiny bit of fluff at the end.

lando norris x unnamed female character

...

...

lando thought he was actually going to die. there in rome, he was sure of it. they had been together for two years at this point, and don't get him wrong, she always looked good - but something about the air in rome was making him fall in love with her all over again, and he was going feral.

the couple had decided to spend a few days in italy together, first venice, second maranello, and last rome.

venice had been brilliant, spending a few days with max and pietra, exploring the city together, and many other late night activities. maranello had been nothing if not wholesome, that being where his beloved girlfriend's family lived - lando having rekindled his bromance with her dad and older brother, and not to mention seeing his favourite dog again.

"can you help me with my heels, baby?" her voice snapped him out of his trance.

fucking hell.

she had walked out of the bathroom, looking like a divine treat for him to devour. it was a sundress - her sundresses always did unholy things to him - of course, and her tanned skin looked particularly endearing against the flimsy white material.

his mouth hung agape, eyes flitting over her body rapidly. his mouth could have (and almost did) water at the sight of his girlfriend, looking oh-so-innocent with her pretty eyes and glossy lips.

again, lando thought he was actually going to die.

"yeah, come here." lando gestured with his fingers, getting up so she could perch on the edge of the bed.

he got to his knees before her, grabbing her ankle gently and delicately tightened the clasp until it clung to her skin snugly, repeating the same action on her other ankle.

"thankyou, sweetheart." she responded, running her fingers through his hair briefly.

yep, he was definitely going to die.

...

if he thought he was going to die earlier, he was dead now.

she was sat there, fiddling with the necklace he'd bought her a few months ago, blinking at him through her lashes as she spoke about their plans for the rest of the summer break.

he could have actually fall to his knees in the restaurant right there and then - she looked utterly and completely irresistible.

"can we go now, please?" lando pleaded for around the third time.

he had asked her after they had finished his main course, and then after they'd finished their desserts, and now when they were having another drink.

"god, what's gotten into you?" she laughed as she swallowed the remainder of her wine.

"nothing, i just want to go home." he shrugged, trying not to let her onto the fact he was planning every single thing he was going to do to her once that hotel room door was closed.

"okay, weirdo." she shook her head with another laugh, before politely asking for the bill.

technically, it was her turn to pay for dinner - but lando never let her pay anyway. his credit card was being swiped across the card machine before she could even get hers out of her purse.

"let's go, come on."

...

as soon as that hotel door had latched shut behind her, lando turned into some sort of rabid animal with no self control.

she found herself pinned up against the door very quickly, dress bunched up at her hips as he began his assault on her neck.

“god… needed you since i seen you earlier.” lando murmured, hoisting her legs up around his waist.

“yeah?” she nodded, arching her eyebrows as her eyes fluttered shut.

“mhm.” he hummed, his hand shifting to her lower back as she was then moved to her feet. “look so pretty — turn around for me?”

she spun her heel slowly, allowing lando to effortlessly pull on the delicate white bow, the thin straps loosening and falling below her shoulders. his hand trailed back down her arms, pulling the dress down and allowing it to fall to a puddle at their feet.

“so gorgeous.” he whispered, hot breath fanning the back of her shoulder — before his hands whipped her around to face him again.

"you think?" she responded quietly.

"of course, pretty girl." he pressed a kiss to the side of her neck, before spinning her round and walking her backwards to the bed - eye contact very, very intense.

a gentle shove rendered her flat on the bed, propped up on her elbows shortly after her back hit the soft mattress. just as he'd done earlier, lando dropped to his knees and now started to remove her heels.

god, she looked divine.

she was now only wearing the prettiest white lace underwear, but lando was trying not to focus on it - due to the fact that he was painfully hard, and that if he looked at her, all of his self-control would fly out of the hotel door (not that she would have minded that.)

a quick toss of the heels behind him made soft thuds in the room, but lando was already softly kissing up from her ankle to her inner thighs, rendering her unable to think about anything else.

"god..." she breathed out, tossing her head back as he skimmed his nose over the delicate fabric of her panties.

a soft chuckle reverberated through her from lando, he was literally laughing into her pussy - how hot could this man get?

"someone's needy." he whispered, lips brushing against the lace once again, resulting in her clenching around nothing.

"shut up." she whined. "just do something, please?"

"as you wish, baby." he mumbled, tugging her underwear down effortlessly and discarding them across the room.

he was like a man starved, denied of watching his girlfriend squirm underneath him for a mere few hours - that seemed to feel like years.

not that she needed any sort of lube, she was soaking wet by the time lando's thumb circled over her clit agonising slowly, but lando felt it necessary still to let a string of his saliva drip down on her aching cunt, spreading it adequately around with his tongue.

she was just about to beg, but he latched his lips onto her before the pleads could leave her lips. the noises made between his lips and hers were disgustingly hot, his fingers slowly beginning to prod at her entrance, teasing her tightness. his tongue drew shapes on her clit, he was spelling his fucking name, and she was seeing stars when a thick middle finger slid into her.

over and over again the same shapes danced over her heat, and lando slowly began to curl his finger to push against her g-spot. an almost pornographic moan left her lips as she felt the pressure of his index finger alongside his middle finger inside of her - whines and whimpers now a constant sound in the room.

they weren't just from her either, when her hips pushed into his face, lando wasn't ashamed to let a low groan out, the vibrations making her back arch up off of the bed - only for her to quickly be pushed back down by a veiny hand.

"fuck.. lando..." she moaned airly, a hand clutching onto his hair for dear life.

the soft bite to her clit was what sent her over the edge and into space. her legs shook around his head, the most lewd moans tumbling loudly from her lips. he pumped his fingers in and out of her and kitten-licked her through her orgasm, allowing her to float on her cloud of ecstasy for a little longer as she spasmed around him.

"you with me, pretty?" he softly spoke, now having moved his hands from her heat to her ribs, gently rubbing his thumbs up and down.

"yeah." she panted, nodding her head. "so fucking good."

he laughed airily, pressing soft kisses from her lower stomach up to her pillowy lips - swollen from how much she'd bitten down on them over the past few minutes.

their kiss was soft and gentle, she could taste herself on his lips, making her grow all-the-more wet again.

"take this off." she murmured into his lips, making a small noise resembling both a laugh and a whimper leave his lips as she tugged at his shirt.

he began to unbutton his shirt, while her hands frantically made their way down to his dress pants, unbuckling his belt and unzipping his trousers. both items of clothing were quickly a puddle on the floor, his boxers swiftly following.

lando's necklace dangled down and rested just below her chin, then sitting comfortably on the centre of her neck as he kissed her again - teeth clashing and tongues pushing against each other for dominance (lando won, obviously.)

the hand that wasn't holding his body up above her, made its way down to his erection, running it up and down her slit to lube it.

breaking the kiss, the look in his eyes asked her the inevitable, and a quick nod followed.

the tip of his cock pressed into her, still stretching her out. you would have thought that after almost three years of very frequent sex, both would get used to the other - but no, every time they felt each other, it was like the first time all over again.

she quite literally fluttered around him, eyes squeezing shut as he bottomed out a few moments later. a low groan escaped his lips, cut short when he realised her eyes were closed.

"hey, eyes open, baby." he whispered, tapping her cheek gently. "want to see the look in your eyes when you fall apart, yeah?"

pretty eyes met his once again as she blinked up at him, some form of a moan leaving her lips as he spoke to her - how could such dirty words come from a man who looked like a fucking angel?

"good girl." he nodded, pressing a small kiss to her nose as he began to slowly thrust in and out.

now, usually, rough sex was lando's thing - but there was something about the way she looked up at him, it made him want to fuck her nice and gentle, slow and deep - so he did.

his strokes were fucking delicious, taming the fire in her lower belly in just the right way - a way that was building the indescribably incredible knot thick and slow. something was different, it was overwhelmingly good - the softest yet neediest moans tumbling from her lips at an almost alarming rate.

maybe every other deep thrust, she'd clench around him, even more blood rushing to his throbbing cock - he wasn't really sure if it was her that was pulsing around him or it was himself, but either way, it felt fucking good.

his lips made their way to her boobs subconsciously, feeling as if he'd neglected them. swirling his tongue around one hard nipple, he slid two fingers inside of her mouth to wet his fingers - before returning them to the nub his mouth wasn't paying delicate attention to, pinching and pressing the pads of his fingers to them.

sensitive from her previous high, the next one was encroaching quickly, warmth spreading to her inner thighs and lower tummy. he could immediately tell she was close. there were tell-tale signs - loud moans would turn to quiet, short, sharp whimpers, she'd become grabby with her hands - needing something to clutch onto as she fell into the abyss of ecstasy - simultaneously clenching around him so tightly that sometimes she'd accidentally restrict his movement - and all were currently taking place.

"go on, pretty girl, cum for me."

she was so gone.

lando's back suffered as her nails scratched into it, leaving red lines painted across the muscles - his trainers wouldn't ask any questions, it's not as if they hadn't seen worse marks before anyway.

she tried so so hard to keep her eyes open, but it was just too hard. her eyes fluttered closed as her mouth hung agape, eyebrows arched as her nose scrunched up a little - lando wanted the image etched onto his retinas.

she gushed all over him, pretty liquid squirting from her cunt, painting his abdomen shiny as the juices splattered on him.

she thought she was going to die, and she would happily like this.

that was actually all it took for him. hot ropes of cum spilled deep into her, stuffed up against her cervix as he tried his hardest to keep thrusting into her - his hips stuttering as he started to get a little overstimulated.

slowly but surely, the two came down from their mind-blowing highs, lando rolling them over so she was laid on top of him, her walls still unconsciously clenching and fluttering around him.

"you good, baby?" he whispered, his hands rubbing up and down her back.

"think so, tired now." she smiled wearily, pressing a soft kiss to his lips, before letting her head roll down into the crook of his neck.

"want to sleep or clean up?" lando asked softly, running his fingers through her hair.

"sleep, definitely."

[dante-mightdie]

butcher!simon is also weirdo simon, socially awkward simon, slightly reclusive simon.

has questionable game. fumbled his way through courting reader.

once forgot to change his shirt before showing up for their date, has her opening her door to a blood splattered work shirt and a bouquet of flowers (atleast one or two of them are crushed) instead of his carefully planned carrhart and jeans combo. (poor things spent so long figuring out his outfit, even asked his linecook friend soap for help (like that was the best idea… he don’t know no better😔))

“did you just.. did you just kill somebody?”

“sumn’ like tha’, yea.”

it’s not until he sees the way readers eyes widen that he realizes he never really explained his job and exclaims,

“shit- no! no dove, i’m just joking-“

- ☕️

yes absolutely zero game simon is my favourite

he spent your entire first date just staring at you with a furrowed brow, listening intently to every word you said. his hand would flex on his thigh, like he was itching to snatch you up like a cut of meat

tells you ‘funny’ stories about his work and his ‘friends’ but the stories aren’t funny at all, they’re weird and unsettling and his friends sound like total lowlifes. lets out a little deep chuckle before realising you aren’t laughing, then he does completely stoic on you again

all you knew when you finished that date was that you had to have this absolute specimen of a man. he had to be yours. no one else could handle him

even now as a married couple, he’s still an oddball but he’s yours and he’s good to you. gets out of bed at night when you hear strange noises and you know you’re safe. has a steady income and a flat big enough for you both even if it is humble. you don’t mind that he wants you to he a homemaker because you know he can he a provider

I know this is gonna be a miss for some of you but there’s something about simon heavy, deep, mouth breathing in my ear. like he’s drooling over me 🤭

[christiangeistdorfer]

SOME MORE JOHN WATSON LORE !!!

His father used to race cars in Ireland, and the family had a good relationship with Ron Flockhart

Here’s a little picture of baby John with his parents and Ron Flockhart !!! Ooooh !!!!!!

John’s first love was a Porsche 356, who can blame him?

He always wanted to become a racing driver and nothing else

He did really badly at school because he didn’t see the point in learning something like Latin to become a racing driver.

His favourite win was 1976 Austrian, his first win!

When he first joined Penske, he was the only member of the team to have a beard.

Picture of him fresh after cutting it [literally at the next grand prix]

Hot

When he saw Ayrton Senna drive at the 1985 European Grand Prix, he knew it was time to retire from Formula 1. He said, “there was no way I could compete at his level.”

He also said if he could race with any driver from any time it would be Senna :)

Another reason he didn't go with Lotus for the 1984 season was because he wasn't trusting of Peter Warr.

CAN YOU IMAGINE HIM AND ELIO AS TEAMMATES THOUGH?????? CAN YOU????????????

He also said that they didn't really want him, they just didn't want Nigel Mansell because some people in Lotus didn't like his accent LMAO

He likes the street circuits such as Monaco & Dundrod, but his favourite circuit [in his favourite country] is Autódromo Oscar y Juan Gálvez in Argentina

His favourite car he drove was the Hexagon Brabham BT44… super sexy

After Niki was pulled from his 1976 Crash, John made him relax by letting Niki rest his head on his lap until the ambulance arrived.

Apparently, René Arnoux is very bitter about John winning the 1981 British Grand Prix. "You didn’t win it, I lost it!’

He was called ‘What’s wrong’ due to the serious facial expression he had.

He then gave the nickname Tadpole to Alain Prost

What’s Wrong & Tadpole!!!!

Now the next three dot points involve death, pls skip if you do not wish to read

After his best friend Heinz Hofer died in a car accident, John was the one who had to identify his body at 4am in the morning. He later described it as the most harrowing experience he ever faced.

He pulled Gilles Villeneuve out of the catch-fencing after his crash at the 1982 Belgian Grand Prix.

Indeed it was John who found Barbro when she died, he had to break down the bathroom door to get to her.

Sid Watkin describes John as ‘one of his favourite people’ and I quite like that :)

Some facts about John Watson

Happy Birthday John

• He was born in Belfast

• He had a bet with his team leader at Penske that if he won a race he would shave off his beard that he had grown. He won the 1976 Austrian GP and stuck to his words shaving it off.

• After he had shaved his beard, team leader Penske didn't even recognise him when he turned up at the hotel lobby

• Niki Lauda who was in hospital at this time called John up and thanked him for winning and preventing James from getting some more points in the bid for world championship

• He was the first man to ever test a Jordan f1 car in 1990

• He loves fishing

• He also loves golfing

• Jackie Stewart said John was "too nice to win races"

• In 1984 he was let go from Mclaren as he wanted to be paid more like his teammate Niki Lauda but Ron Dennis didn't want to do that when he got get Alain Prost in for a lot cheaper

• He started dated Ronnie Peterson's wife, Barbro, after Ronnie had died. It is believed he turned down an offer to race at Lotus in 1984 because Barbro was too anxious about it. Sadly Barbro couldn't handle the depression she got after Ronnie's death and its reported that John might have been the one that found her.

• His nickname is Wattie and John whatswrong

• Described as kind but with a great sense of humour

[fastandcarlos]

Just A Ski “Inchident” : ̗̀➛ Charles LeClerc

summary: a chaotic trip to the ski slopes was never going to end seamlessly, was it?? ⛷️

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by carlossainz55, carmenmmundt and 482,827 others

ynusername: what could possibly go wrong here? ⛷️

31,048 comments

username1: why do I feel like this is gonna end so badly?

charles_leclerc: I’ll be right there to make sure that you’re safe sweetheart 💕

ynusername: @/charles_leclerc you’ll be off and forgetting about me in no time

arthur_leclerc: @/charles_leclerc @/ynusername and if he doesn’t keep you safe I’ll be there to push him down the mountain 😂

username2: omg hope you guys have the best trip ever 🤩

landonorris: I’m betting £20 you come back with a broken bone!

ynusername: @/landonorris pls don’t jinx me like this 😭

username3: pls just stay safe both of you we don’t need any injuries 🤞🏻

carlossainz55: you’re so brave trusting charles to take you skiing!!

username4: I don’t have a good feeling about this 😂

maxverstappen1: next time we’ll have to go on a couples holiday down to the slopes!

ynusername: @/maxverstappen1 I don’t think I’ll be at your level of skiing for quite some time 😂

username5: everyone on that slope better watch out with you two about!!

iamrebeccad: I promise you’ll love it, skiing is the best thing ever once you get the hang of it 🫶🏻

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by landonorris, pierregasly and 2,048,462 others

charles_leclerc: back on the slopes doing one of my favourite things in the world 🏔️

204,473 comments

username6: there’s something about charles in ski gear that really speaks to me 🔥

georgerussell63: enjoy your trip, nothing quite like the adrenaline of flying down the slopes ⛷️

username7: is there anything that this man can’t do??

danielricciardo: I’ll laugh now if you come back more broken than yn does

charles_leclerc: @/danielricciardo that’s impossible, you just wait until you see poor yn ski 🥹

username8: poor yn is probably cursing charles out so bad rn!

maxverstappen1: still slightly offended I didn’t get an invite ngl…😂

username9: he looks like he’s in his element ngl

carlossainz55: please come back in piece to try and finish off the end of the season 🙏🏻

charles_leclerc: @/carlossainz55 it’s not me you need to worry about…

username10: I bet he’s one of those show offs that makes it look so much easier than it actually is 🙃

ynusername: I’m still sat here wondering how you ever convinced me to do this 😂

charles_leclerc: @/ynusername by the end of this trip you’ll love skiing, trust me 💞

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by charles_leclerc, oscarpiastri and 573,049 others

ynusername: this weird guy kept following me up the slopes, apparently he says he’s some sort of expert but I’m yet to be convinced 😂🚠

48,201 comments

username11: ngl I wouldn’t mind that view staring at me on a ski lift 🫠

iamrebeccad: you look like you’re doing so well, told you you’d get the hang of it 🤩

username12: he’s an annoying expert at everything he does 😂

pierregasly: don’t believe him yn, trust me, I’ve been skiing with him before!!

username13: I love the relationship that these two have omg

landonorris: you’re so right, he’s a giant weirdo 😂😂

username14: what I would give to be in yn’s shoes rn rather than staring at these photos kicking my heels in bed

username15: at least charles looks like he’s taking care of yn so far 😂

arthur_leclerc: the going up is fine, it’s the going down you’ve got to worry about⛷️

ynusername: @/arthur_leclerc don’t say that 😭

username16: best of all you’re still standing, that’s the main thing!

danielricciardo: how much are you regretting saying yes to this trip out of 10??

ynusername: @/danielricciardo 10/10 what have I signed myself up for!? 💯

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by iamrebeccad, arthur_leclerc and 472,927 others

ynusername: it turns out quite a lot can actually go wrong when skiing 😭

61,048 comments

username17: oh yn only you could end up doing something like this 😂

georgerussell63: I’m trying so hard not to love but honestly how do you manage to always end up like this!

ynusername: @/georgerussell63 I told you all I wasn’t built for skiing

username18: sending you so much love and hope the injury isn’t too bad 🤞🏻

charles_leclerc: at least you got to go back and enjoy the hot tub 😉

ynusername: @/charles_leclerc I almost got some peace and quiet until you appeared 😂

username19: please make sure you get plenty of rest and take care of yourself!

maxverstappen1: I don’t even think I want to ask how you managed to do this 🤦🏻‍♂️

username20: I blame charles for this, even if he wasn’t even there!

carmenmmundt: wish I was there to give you the biggest cuddle rn 🫂

alex_albon: and this is why I refuse to take lily skiing every year when she asks!!

username21: oh yn, I’ve never met anyone so clumsy in my life 😬

landonorris: is it broken?? do I get my £20??

ynusername: @/landonorris none of your business 😂😂😂

charles_leclerc: @/landonorris nothing broken so no one is coughing up just yet!

username22: I can just picture charles laughing his head off at this too

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by maxverstappen1, danielricciardo and 2,028,574 others

charles_leclerc: just to let you all know yn is back in the cabin and resting well, when I offered to stay and take care of her she told me to go away and that I’d done enough damage 😂😂

197,473 comments

username23: glad to hear yn is on the mend and getting plenty of rest 🥺

iamrebeccad: yes @/ynusername put him in his place 😂💪🏻

username24: bless her, hopefully the injury isn’t anything too nasty

arthur_leclerc: she’s only resting because you’ve finally stopped laughing at her 😂

oscarpiastri: why you’d pick to ski anyway when there’s all that sunshine is crazy to me!?

ynusername: you did enough damage suggesting we go skiing in the first place 🤦🏻‍♀️

charles_leclerc: @/ynusername how was I supposed to know you’d be this bad at it??

ynusername: @/charles_leclerc it’s like you forget how clumsy I am 🙃

username25: looking at that cabin I’d want to be left alone to enjoy it too!!

carlossainz55: yn saying what so many of us have wanted to say for so long 🙌🏻

charles_leclerc: @/carlossainz55 have you forgotten were teammates?? you’re supposed to be on my side!

username26: she’s probably just embarrassed charles to be hurt 😭

danielricciardo: I think I’d much rather be where yn is, it looks so warm and cosy 😍

username27: you two can’t go anywhere without causing chaos 😂😂

maxverstappen1: at least now you can go and show off without having to worry about yn

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by carlossainz55, landonorris and 582,713 others

ynusername: charles fell on his ass so hard today and I can’t begin to tell you how hard I laughed 🤣🎿

52,958 comments

username28: revenge is the sweetest dish ever!!!

lilymhe: you guys are adorable 🥹

charles_leclerc: I’ll give you that one, I probably deserved it 🤣

ynusername: @/charles_leclerc the best bit is I got in on camera to hold against you forever 🙌🏻

maxverstappen1: @/ynusername I’ll pay you a thousand pounds to send me that video!!!

username29: go on yn! get him back for laughing at you!

carlossainz55: I hope you got right up in his face and laughed too 😂

username30: I swear he’s just as clumsy as you are sometimes 😂😂

iamrebeccad: glad to see you finally smiling again girlie 💕

username31: I can’t get over how messy this whole trip has been for you both 🤦🏻‍♀️

danielricciardo: it’s gonna be a miracle if you both make it home in one piece at this rate…

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by arthur_leclerc, ynusername and 2,958,473 others

charles_leclerc: the trip of a lifetime, even if the two of us are returning much more battered and bruised than we were when we arrived 🎿💕

278,500 comments

username32: please hurry up and get home where we know you’ll be safe from injury again 😂

ynusername: definitely a trio of a lifetime and never again!!

charles_leclerc: @/ynusername let’s stick to the beach next year 💞

username33: promise us you’ll never go skiing with yn again charles!!

alex_albon: why you’d decide to throw yourself down on a mountain on skis is beyond me 🙄

username34: I dread to think how broken your bodies are rn…

maxverstappen1: maybe we’ll rethink that couples holiday after all 😂

username35: you guys are definitely built for the sunshine ☀️

danielricciardo: I can’t see yn agreeing to one of your ideas for a while after this

username36: I’m just impressed you’re both still standing at the end of it 😂

landonorris: can’t believe I didn’t win my bet, I’m impressed there aren’t any broken bones!

charles_leclerc: @/landonorris no one is more impressed than me 😂

username37: yn really was brave for ever agreeing to this!!

iamrebeccad: can’t wait to have you guys back home and where you belong 🥺

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

[siddyyyyyyyy]

Unhinged

Jason Todd x Reader

MDNI wc: 0.7K summary: your roommate finds your messages you send your friend about him. warnings: suggestive themes, no y/n used, actually kind of cringe a/n: my dear friend accidently gave me this idea while spamming me with delicious Red Hood edits (@dollyure), evidence will be shared at the end. enjoy!!

You never thought this could happen. You were so careful to leave your own thoughts to yourself and never let Jason see the things you tell your friend. But of course, nothing really goes your way for some reason.

It took one thing for you to end up in this situation. One thing. And that was leaving your phone unattented on the sofa for a minute. Unlocked.

It was a typical evening as any other, just getting to relax and wind down at the end of the week on your favourite spot at the couch with your roommate. Jason was always pretty quiet but respectful of the shared space, a good friend if you want to wind down together. You rarely get to see him in the evenings but on days like this, when he stays in, it feels like a small reward for you.

Of course he doesn‘t know about any of this. Doesn‘t know anything about what your silly texts between you and your friends. You keep it a secret pretty well, so he won‘t think you are a complete weirdo.

Well, until that evening. Setting your phone quickly aside to get to your boiling tea kettle, you forgot to lock it. Jason sits at the other end of the fluffy couch and watches how you scurry away to get the boiling water to a stop. With an amused grin he gets back to his book but keeps getting distracted by the bright phonescreen just a little away from him. Glancing over, he sees the outlines of text bubbles but he can‘t see what‘s written in there yet.

He isn‘t trying to pry or get into your privacy, but the way the other person spams you non-stop is making him more curious. Whatever this conversation is about, he wants to know if it‘s a conflict or some sort of gossip.

Jason checks if you are still in the kitchen and sees you preparing your tea and some sweets. He technically has enough time to snatch your phone while it‘s still open and gets to have a look over the texts. Who knows, maybe he will find out some interesting things on there. So, with these weak excuses, he grabs your phone and starts reading through them.

UNTIL YOUR TONGUE FADES COLOUR??? I mean every word I say. Wow. Just…

His brows furrow. What does this even mean? Are tongues even capable of fading colour? With a quick glance to the kitchen, he scrolls up, reading through the older messages.

From the couch, to the shower, to the bed, from the wall to the floor from missionary to cowgirl, straddled on top JUST LET ME HITTT

His jaw drops. Jason quickly composes himself and sits up, clearing his throat. He is sure he will need extra therapy after this. Ignoring the unfamiliar, warm feeling in his lower abdomen, he continues to read through them. Unsurprisingly, he finds a picture of himself in the chat. His profile picture, some random pictures he didn‘t even you had in the first place.

Until my throat memorises every vein.

That‘s the last message he sees from you before you appear in his sight again. Tea in hand, some cookies in the other. But most importantly, your flushed cheeks and regretful expression. His hand drops your phone and his cheeks also flush.

You can‘t look into his eyes anymore. This is the next worst thing that‘s ever happened to you so far. There is no way you can talk yourself out of this situation at all. He knows basically everything now. From the fact that you crush on him to the fact that you literally want to devour him whole.

Silently, he sets your phone back to its original spot and gets off the couch to stand up. Again, he clears his throat and speaks up first.

»I‘m gonna pretend I didn‘t see all this...«

And before you could apologise or say something to your defense, he is gone, retreating himself into his own room. Maybe even for the better, you can‘t imagine how awkward it would‘ve been if you were to sit next to him for the next few hours.

here is the so called evidence ( from my friends perspective)

and this was the final message that made me do this:

hope you enjoyed it somehow(★‿★)

part two

←MASTERLIST

[wonryllis]

さ 𝇃𝇂 ENHYPEN WHEN THEY GET JEALOUS OVER A GUY HITTING ON YOU.

╰ 𝖺𝗅𝗍𝖾𝗋𝗇𝖺𝗍𝗂𝗏𝖾𝗅𝗒, 𝗐𝗁𝖾𝗇 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗒 𝗍𝖺𝗌𝗍𝖾 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗉𝖾𝗋𝗂𝗅𝗌 𝗈𝖿 𝖺 𝗉𝗋𝖾𝗍𝗍𝗒 𝗀𝗂𝗋𝗅𝖿𝗋𝗂𝖾𝗇𝖽.

𝒏o𝓉ℯs. the trigger of possesive enhypen 𖥔 ݁ fluff and love, and your man, LIBY? fem!reader requested word count ` 1513 unedited.

𝐋𝐄𝐄 𝐇𝐄𝐄𝐒𝐄𝐔𝐍𝐆 you're at the mall to watch a marvel movie together all excited. and there's this boba store right next door to the cinema hall, they have your favorite flavour but there's a long ass line. heeseung baby being down bad for you is rushing to get you what you want without a thought. even if he has to miss the grand opening scenes, he's getting you that boba you love. he's literally right next up when he notices this weirdo approach you. quickly gets your drink and runs back, more like long intimidating strides with a deep ass scary voice,"babe, who's this guy?"

immediately notices the dial pad open on his phone understanding that this frog was asking for your number. does a whole public display of affection, putting in the straw, holding the cup while you take a sip, squeezing your cheeks and going,"does my sweetcheeks like it?" leaving a kiss when you nod. "m sorry do you like need directions or something?" he's so jealous right now that this guy thinks he can bag you, and he's gonna take it out by embarrassing him. what to do you're so beautiful that flies keep getting attracted, he's found a tactic for this.

𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐊 𝐉𝐎𝐍𝐆𝐒𝐄𝐎𝐍𝐆 okay now this one is the wooing stage where you're seeing each other every other day but do not have a strict label yet, more like jay trying to do all it takes to win your heart. with the gentleman he is definitely it doesn't take him long but there are times when he's not so gentlemanly though not to you, you'll forever be his queen. it's friday night and he shows up at your doorstep unannounced waiting for you to get back home to surprise you with a bag of your favourite takeout. he's just steps away from your apartment door when he notices the bouquet of flowers stuck on the door with a small bag hanging beneath.

immediately searches through it to find a note with a number. types it in and makes a call giving the guy a really good piece of his mind to stay away, throwing away the flowers and the gift in the bins downstairs. and then he spots you talking to some guy? okay now he doesn't know if it's the same one or someone else so doing what would be graciously the best he walks over and pretends to be your boyfriend,"hey honeybun, i was waiting for you upstairs with this," showing the bag of food triumphantly and and then giving a sly look over to the guy.

𝐒𝐈𝐌 𝐉𝐀𝐄𝐘𝐔𝐍 so you're in ikea looking for a new bed for jake because y'all broke the last one while pillow fighting on it. cliche but you get lost amidst the aisles and jake is roaming around tryna find you first whereas you are least concerned about being separated like you'll reunite at some point anyway? right? however just two meters away from your boyfriend and some dude is walking right up in between, hand scratching the back of his neck just like how jake used to do early on in the relationship.

literally as awkward as it can be, the guy going on about how he's been looking at you for a while and how he'd like to get to know you, while your eyes are trained behind him at jake who in turn is shooting daggers at the guy. you don't know what to say hoping jake would come over but he's too busy feeling the jealousy lol, "my man wouldn't like that and neither would i so plea-" "oh come on he's not here is he-" "ayo sorry to disappoint buddy, but her man's right here," at first jake was super jealous like feeling the need to claim dominance but lord the moment you referred to him as 'your man' he's forgotten all about it.

𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐊 𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐆𝐇𝐎𝐎𝐍 you were meeting up for a lunch date at your favourite place. and as always hoon was running a little late, leaving you waiting outside the restaurant. you're just on a bench nearby texting on your phone, when you feel someone sit beside you. you smile, thinking it's your lovely boyfriend but when you look up you find an unfamiliar guy grinning his tooth out at you? "hey i was watching you and you seem to be alone," oh no you already feel it going bad "uh no, im not alon-" "i was wondering if you could give me your number, i'm fun to be around really," he keeps on interrupting you again and again when you try to tell him you're not interested and taken.

"my pretty girl, let's go," sunghoon shows up, taking your hand into his and leading you away into the restaurant, straight up ignoring the guy. internally he's quite literally fuming his fists iching to throw a punch at the guy who thought it was okay to hit on you like that. he excuses himself to the washroom after placing the order to secretly check if the guy is still lingering around and if he is then god save him from sunghoon's wrath lmao.

𝐊𝐈𝐌 𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐖𝐎𝐎 you're in the mall,. shopping together, going around stores and trying on clothes. you find these bunch of cute floral print mini dresses and sunoo so encourages you to give it a try and see if you like it, promising to stay close by the fitting rooms to have a look and give feedback. however when you open the door for the third outfit instead of your darling there's a staff waiting around. he's immediately jumping at the opportunity to compliment how your body looks so good in it and how you rocked the previous dresses too. "uhm yeah thank you, but the man here-"

"babyyy, im so sorry i went to look some more for you and look what i found, you'd look so damn pretty in it all for me to see," sunoo walks over with a lingerie in his hand ksjskjskhhsj, he hands it over to you with a lovely smile on his face but as soon as you close the door, he's so giving it to the guy for trying to hit on you, "don't you think it is inappropriate to be saying all that to someone who clearly is not looking for and does not absolutely want your advice? and you're at work don't you have basic employee customer decency, where's your manager, i wanna speak to them,"

𝐘𝐀𝐍𝐆 𝐉𝐔𝐍𝐆𝐖𝐎𝐍 this guy is always on his toes to pick you up from anywhere and everywhere. this time it was the library you frequent. it was late in the evening and it was raining, the perfect scenario for jungwon to be a knight in shining armour. by the time he's reached, you're supposed to be waiting by the door as your texts said but you're nowhere to be found. baby is confused, doesn't waste a second to go inside in search of you. and he's so glad he did because the first thing he sees is you uncomfortably standing by the front desk seemingly talking to the librarian guy.

the same one whom he has always noticed giving you the ogly googly eyes whenever he's been here with you. however won never thought of doing anything about it because it never went beyond just lovey dovey stares. until today that is,"excuse me i don't think you know but this gorgeous lady right here is in a committed relationship and we'll appreciate it if you stop with these inappropriate advances, it's really disrespectful to us both," damn that guy he got the message so clearly he ain't looking your way ever again,"let's go baby," jungwon is so coddling you after.

𝐍𝐈𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐌𝐔𝐑𝐀 𝐑𝐈𝐊𝐈 boy doesn't show a lot of his emotions especially in public. his best response to jealousy so far has been to stay quiet at the moment and then later on try to do more pda and all to show you're taken. this time it was valentines week and everyone at college was going around gifting chocolates and roses and other cutesy gifts. of course riki planned out a whole romantic date with your favourite flowers and sweets and everything thing you love. also he had this plan on that random people would come over to give you roses on his behalf and the last one will be him.

however it takes a twist when the random guy with the rose doesn't just leave after handing it to you, he's asking for your damn number man, riki gets so pissed, ready to throw hands more frustrated- jealous than ever especially that his secret plan is getting ruined, also he's like right beside you? "shut up, take this shit back and know your place!" he literally snatches the rose from the small bundle you hold and shoves it roughly into the guy before taking you away,"im so sorry baby for getting angry, i promise this won't happen again everyone will know you're mine,"

taglist ( open. ) @kangseulgithegreat @s00buwu @luvyev @pockyyasii @nctislifue @ashtxrie @miniature-tragedy @jayujus @brachives @thoughtsmeander2tumblingblindly @eeunoia

[bbrissonn]

𝐦𝐲 𝐟𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬 - 𝐥𝐮𝐤𝐞 𝐡𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐞𝐬

summary: in which your instagram post about your new year's kiss causes your brother to freak out slightly

warnings: not proofread

pairing: luke hughes x zegras!reader (lemon au)

a/n: happy holidays to all of you, hope you enjoy yourselves💗

⊹₊ ˚‧︵‿₊୨୧₊‿︵‧ ˚ ₊⊹

-January 1, 2025 -

y/nzegras

liked by lhughes_06, _quinnhughes and others

y/nzegras new year same us 🩵

👥 lhughes_06

view all 143 comments

lhughes_06 i love youuuu

y/nzegras @/lhughes_06 i love you more lemon

lhughes_06 gosh i look good

lhughes_06 we ate?

y/nzegras @/lhughes_06 WE ATEEEEE

jackhughes yuck

friendsuser so adorable omg 🥹

jackhughes wait hold on where the hell are my pic creds??

y/nzegras @/jackhughes up your booty ;)

trevorzegras EW WTF Y/N/N

trevorzegras @/jackhughes "DW BRO ILL KEEP THEM UNDER CONTROL" MY ASS

jackhughes @/trevorzegras ... but they're so cute trevorzegras @/jackhughes NOT YOU TOO OMG-

trevorzegras im taking your phone privileges away

y/nzegras @/trevorzegras get out of here you weirdo

friendsuser my parents frfr

_quinnhughes taking this as a sign that there's still hopes for me

lhughes_06 @/_quinnhughes awh quinn that's so cute _quinnhughes @/lhughes_06 shut up.

load more...

⊹₊ ˚‧︵‿₊୨୧₊‿︵‧ ˚ ₊⊹

lhughes_06

liked by y/nzegras, _alexturcotte and others

lhughes_06 my favourite kiss 🩵

👥 y/nzegras

view all 643 comments

y/nzegras I LOVE YOU

lhughes_06 @/y/nzegras 🩵🩵

y/nzegras i look so good omg

y/nzegras and you look good

y/nzegras we look good holy

jackhughes STILL NOT PIC CREDS??? REALLY

lhughes_06 @/jackhughes stop whining like a baby y/nzegras @/jackhughes AH BABY

trevorzegras ... you guys are testing my limits rn

trevorzegras i will jump on my plane rn do not play with me luke

lhughes_06 @/trevorzegras what did i do this time 😭 y/nzegras @/trevorzegras leave him alone omg

user643 they're so cute i actually cant

user910 may a love like this find this year 🕯️

colecaufield so adorable

trevorzegras @/colecaufield TRAITOR

user543 how does one acquire this? asking for a friend 🌝

_quinnhughes so happy for you two !! 😃

lhughes_06 @/_quinnhughes im sensing some sarcasm here...?? _quinnhughes @/lhughes_06 whatttt never dude

load more...

[baggebythesea]

My favourite kinds of museums:

"SCIENCE/HISTORY/ART IS AWESOME, KIDS!"

"Ummm.... so we spent the last two centuries stealing a bunch of shit. Here are some of the least offensive artifacts."

"We now have a bigger museum of whatever than our neighbouring city/municipality/country! Haha!"

"This is where this famous weirdo lived."

"Soooo.... there was this unfamous weirdo who was REALLY into collecting/building weird shit, so I guess we have a museum now."

"When we tore down the old to give way to the new we missed a spot, so I guess we have a museum now."

"Second biggest ball of twine of the municipality"

"Boy did grandpa's work lack OSHA regulations."

"THESE TRAINS HAVE RUN FOR A HUNDRED YEARS AND WILL RUN FOR A HUNDRED MORE!"

[xipho-reblog]

I actually made a list of all my faves a day ago and it's like 10% of the pokedex rip

another "current favorite of each type" thing is going around so I did one real quick https://pk-diagram.pages.dev/

[elijahstwink]

Hello love 🤍 I was wondering if you would like to write nsfw alphabet Elijah mikaelson ❤️ because he is the daddiest of them all 🫠

𝓔𝓵𝓲𝓳𝓪𝓱 𝓜𝓲𝓴𝓪𝓮𝓵𝓼𝓸𝓷

NSFW Alphabet

This is for Elijah x f!reader

Thank you @b1tchy for being my first request :)

I wanted to do a male version cause I’m a guy but I just didn’t know if anyone would like that.

𝓐 - Aftercare - Does he do it/ What is it like?

Of course Elijah does aftercare. He loves to clean you up with a bath or a wet towel, whispering praises in your ear. Although sometimes he struggles to not clean you with his tongue instead. He also is super cuddly.

𝓑 - Blood

I mean blood play kind of comes along with being a vampire. Elijah is very cautious with it though due to his past trauma. He likes to feed from your thighs, even though there isn’t as much blood flow as the neck. When he feeds you he does it from his wrist. Sitting you on his lap and holding your hair out of your face.

𝓒 - Cum

Elijah’s a neat guy, everyone knows that. Well sex isn’t any different. Elijah would 100% prefer to cum inside you then lick you clean or cum inside your mouth instead of coming on your body.

𝓓 - Dominance

Elijah is extremely dominant most of the time. He enjoys being in control and watching you come undone by his hands or cock. That being said there is also a more submissive side of him that doesn’t come out as often, a side that wants you to tie him down a chair and edge him for hours while riding him.

𝓔 - Edging

Well talking about edging. Elijah is pretty neutral about it. As much as he loves to make you cum over and over, he also enjoys edging you for hours to give you that one extremely powerful orgasm.

𝓕 - Fantasy - A fantasy of his

Elijah has definitely had a fantasy about fucking you while in his red door mode, naked with blood running down his body. He’s ashamed of this though.

𝓖 - Grooming Habits - Hair not the other grooming u weirdos

Elijah keeps everything down there as neat as he does the rest of him. He keeps some hair but would be willing to go bare if you wanted.

𝓗 - Hard ons - What gets him hard?

Neediness. Knowing you want him turns him on immensely. When you beg him for anything with those big doe eyes he can’t help but want to shut you up with his cock down your throat.

𝓘 - Ick - What gives him the Ick?

Elijah wouldn’t be comfortable sharing you with anyone else. His possessiveness gets the better of him. You’d probably find another guys heart in Elijah’s fist before you could get near him.

𝓙 - Jokes - does he joke around during it?

Elijah’s pretty serious when it comes to sex, especially due to his dominant role. but there has definitely been times when he cracks.

For example that one time when he was fucking you against the wall so hard that it literally cracked down the middle. He couldn’t help but burst into laughter when he put you down and saw it.

𝓚 - Kinks

Elijah definitely has a size kink. He adores princess treatment and loves the idea of your hand being too small to wrap around his cock. The first time your belly bulged when he was fucking you he instantly came like a horny teenager.

However his size kink doesn’t mean skinny, he finds all body types attractive.

𝓛 - Lasting - How long can he last?

Elijah is a thousand years old… I’d say he could last the same amount of time.

𝓜 - Marks

Elijah is a private type of person, so if he was to mark you (assuming you are human) then it would be somewhere hidden. His favourite place to leave hickeys is on your thighs.

As for other marks, he loves to see the effect he’s had on you with tear stains, handprints on your ass or rope burn on your wrists.

𝓝 - Names - What names does he like to be called/call you?

You cannot tell me this man doesn’t have a sir/daddy kink. He fully plays into the parental role outside the bedroom anyways so why not in? He’d also be happy to only do one or the other if you didn’t like it.

He’d be pounding you from behind, your back against his chest with one hand around your throat and the other playing with your clit.

“You like how daddy’s fucking you?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Good girl.”

As for what he would call you

Baby, angel, my love, princess and darling are all ones he commonly uses. For more intense moments he uses: Brat, minx, slut and whore.

He also loves to say ‘my girl’ and ‘good girl’.

𝓞 - Oral - is he more into giving or receiving?

Elijah is a gentleman, so he definitely prefers to give. He could spend hours between your legs without even thinking about himself.

However he would never say no to using your mouth. Making you choke on his cock until tears stream from your doe eyes absolutely wrecks him.

𝓟 - Pain

Despite being very dominant, Elijah is a gentle man. He wouldn’t go further than spanking you with his hand or pulling your hair unless you asked.

As for himself, he loves the feeling of your nails dragging down his back, drawing blood then healing so you can do it again.

𝓠 - Queer - what’s his sexuality?

I will always say that anyone who has lived as long as Elijah has tried everything. Personally I believe Elijah likes who he likes, regardless of gender. He’s definitely fucked and been fucked.

He’d be amazing with different pronouns if you asked.

𝓡 - Role - Top / Bottom / Switch?

Elijah is 100% has a top mentality. However if you wanted to peg him I doubt he’d say no to you.

𝓢 - Sex Position - What’s his favourite?

Elijah loves doggy, especially when he pulls your back up against his chest so you’re both kneeling.

𝓣 - Tease - is he a tease?

Elijah is a massive tease. He will sit in an armchair pretending to read a book while you kneel at his feet, begging and working yourself up until you’re rutting against his dress shoe. Then when you’re almost crying from desperation, he’ll pay you attention (even though his eyes have been stuck on the same word in his book the whole time, too distracted by your whines.)

𝓤 - Unique - something that makes him unique.

Elijah finds it really hot when you’re completely naked on his lap while he’s fully clothed. Sometimes he purposely leaves his clothes on just for that feeling of dominance.

𝓥 - Volume - How loud is he?

Elijah doesn’t moan that loud. He’s more of a grunter. But it’s never quiet with him, he makes up for his quiet moans with his dirty talk. He is the definition of ‘talk you through it’ and can’t help but constantly communicate to make sure you’re happy with everything he’s doing.

𝓦 - Wild Card - anything

Elijah loves when you ride his thigh, especially with his suit still on. He always chuckles at the embarrassed flush of your cheeks when you see the big stain your release left on his pants, ruining his immaculately clean look.

𝓧 - X-Ray - what’s he packing?

He’s just above average in length. But when I tell you Elijah fucking Mikaelson is THICK. His girth is unmatched, always stretching you to your limit, reaching every spot inside you.

𝓨- Yearning - how often is he horny?

Elijah will usually let you initiate any sex, but only because he’s polite. Secretly he would be in the mood to take you anywhere at anytime. You make him feel like a teenage human again, with a libido the size of Nebraska.

(Idk why Nebraska I’ve never set foot in the us lol)

𝓩- Zzz - is he tired after/ does he sleep straight away?

Unlike those sparkly cum coloured bitches in twilight, Elijah does sleep. He always holds you and waits until he’s certain you are asleep and happy before he drifts off.

Thanks for reading guys hope u liked it ;)

Remember to request something on my profile!

- 𝓓𝓮𝔁

[fandom-lover2]

Actions Speak Louder Than Words

Miko has a bad day, and Optimus learns what body language is.

Word Count - 3040

-image not mine-

Today was… normal.

As normal as one could get when their guardian is a 20 foot tall metal warrior from another planet, but today hadn’t been any different than the others.

Woke up, got ready for Saturday (Ratchet’s favourite day because we were at the base all day) and hitched a ride with Bee and Raf to base.

We were the first humans here. Ratchet and Optimus were already hard at work at the monitors, scanning for energon and logging reports and doing whatever it was that they continuously did at those computers.

After exchanging greetings and brief conversation, Raf and I settled down while Bee waited for Bulk so patrol routes could be run.

It didn’t take long for the roar of a motorbike’s engine to fill the tunnel and Jack was rolling in on Arcee, Miko and Bulk close behind.

“Thought you had work today?” I called down to Jack, not moving from my spot at the desk with the human monitors where I was preparing to start my history essay on the similarities between Ancient Greek mythology and Shakespear (don’t judge, I find it interesting).

“Schedules got moved around. Apparently I’m ‘Working too much’ and they don’t want to pay me.” Jack replied, beginning up the stairs.

What followed was the sound of two Autobots transforming, and then silence.

I glanced over my shoulder, making sure Bulkhead had actually brought Miko. There she was, walking up the stairs behind Jack. I frowned, but turned back to my papers.

“Where to today, boss?” Bulkhead questioned.

“Once you have restocked your energon, we are going to northern Alaska. Our scanners have sensed an energon signal.”

“If it’s black, fight back.  If it’s brown, lie down. If it’s white, goodnight.” I warned jokingly to Jack and Miko, not looking up from my textbook.

For mid-April, Alaska would be warm enough now that they could go along and maybe not freeze. That also meant the bears would be out and about.

Me personally, as much as I wanted to tag along, this essay would take a while and with spring break around the corner, I didn’t have time to go off on excursions.

That’s why I came here to work on it, Ratchet would keep me from getting too distracted. I’d texted last night asking as much.

“Eh, I have some homework to catch up on.” Jack answered, and I heard him pull out the chair at the desk near the couch and get settled. Beside me, Raf was already lost to the world of coding and typing away on his laptop with ferocity.

I waited for three breaths, and then frowned when there wasn’t a reply. I spun in my wheelie chair, and watched as Miko sat down on the couch.

Ok, what was up?

Firstly, she didn’t sit anywhere, she flopped. And secondly, she never took up only one end of the couch. Usually, she dramatically lounged across it while whining that it was taking forever for Bulkhead to get ready so they could head out. And also, what was with the silence. Not even a sarcastic greeting to Ratchet.

Something was up with her. It wasn’t her birthday, wasn’t a Japanese traditional holiday she was missing, wasn’t school related cause yesterday she had a good day.

I glanced over at Jack and he was turned in his seat too, looking just as confused.

He caught my gaze and gave the ‘you see it too?’ look.

‘Yeah. What’s up with her?’ I shrugged subtly.

Jack raised his brows slightly, ‘I don’t know. She didn’t say anything to me.’

 I rubbed my lips together, my go to for thinking.

‘You should talk to her.’ Jack prompted, jerking his chin just a bit.

‘Me? Why me?’ I frowned.

‘Well I can’t. I’m a guy.’ Jack answered, looking down at his chest and then back up to me.

‘Fine.’ I agreed, rolling my eyes. Men are such weirdos.

With a sigh that didn’t need to be that dramatic, I got off my chair and made my way to Miko. On my journey, I happened to glance over and found Optimus watching me with an intense stare.

It was almost enough to make me stumble over my own feet.

I had long since given up trying to understand Optimus, mostly because there wasn’t much to understand. He was a simple guy, someone who carried a lot of weight on his shoulders and had only made it so far in life by concealing his emotions.

If he was pissed, you’d know it in the way he spoke. If he was at ease, he’d hang around a little longer in the common area before heading off to wherever it was he went. If he was stressed, he’d assign himself the longest patrol route so he’d have more time to get away. Easy as that.

This, open and intense studying, was a new one. A part of me wanted to ask, but I was on a mission already. Sky and ocean blue would have to wait.

As I got closer, it was obvious something was wrong. She sat hunched, eyes glued to the floor and hands folded in her lap. Her eyes were puffy and a little red, and she sniffed when I got close.

Crying, hunched over, hands in good posture… oh god. She was going back to Japan.

“Hey Meeks.” I greeted, sitting on the sofa beside her.

There was the long approach, of asking how she was, and then going through all the small talk. Or, I could ask it upfront and get this going. Knowing her, the only way to get it out was to hit her hard.

“What’s wrong?” She looked up at me, and as it always happens when someone asked ‘Are you ok?’ when you already aren’t, the water works started.

“They won’t let me dye my hair.”

Between the beginning to cry breaking her voice and the fact that she lunged at me, I only got some of the words before she was burying herself into my chest and sobbing. My arms wrapped around her, shuffling forward so I could pull her into my chest and cradle her closer.

“What?” I asked, needing to hear that again.

“My host parents.” I could faintly make out. “They won’t let me dye my hair.”

Her outburst had caused everyone to look at us, and Bulkhead was rushing over from the supply station, an adorably confused face that suited a toddler better than all 18 feet of him looking to me for the answers.

Either he didn’t know how to start this conversation, or he’d not seen something was wrong on the ride over. Either way, I was now being watched like the one with the answers.

Miko sobbed into my shirt again and I realized I was supposed to be doing something.

Ok, let’s back up to what she said. Her host parents wouldn’t let her dye her hair. Well, the pink was starting to wash out a little, leaving only the bleach behind. And, her hair had grown out a bit since our first meeting. And, based on what she’d told me about her host family, they did seem very ‘stick up the ass’ about this kinda thing.

Still, not letting her dye her hair. Come on, assholes. It’s part of who she was, her personality. It was just hair dye.

Miko sobbed again, and I continued to hold her close.

It was just hair dye, and yes it made her seem like a delinquent, but in the land of Freedom, let her live. No one was getting hurt.

“So fuck them.” I spoke, plain and simple.

“Kristin!” Jack chastised.

“What?” I demanded.

Miko had released me in her shock and was now sitting upright, wiping her tears.

I turned to Optimus. “Mind if I pull Bulk for a couple hours?”

He didn’t take long to consider it. “You may.”

I smiled back at him in thanks, standing and heading for my bag, which was left by my books. I paused just briefly, but then slammed my textbook closed and slung my bag onto my shoulder. I could do it later.

“Coming?” I asked Miko, making my way to the stairs and skipping down them.

“Where?” Miko asked, hesitant to follow.

“To buy hair dye.” I called over my shoulder.

I heard her gasp, then scramble to rush down behind me. Bulkhead transformed, opening his front doors for us.

Miko reached me as we got to the bottom of the stairs, slamming into me from behind and encasing me in a hug. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!” she repeated over and over.

“Yeah, yeah. Get in.” I redirected, shrugging her off.

“Bulk, play something awesome!” Miko instructed, rushing to get into his passenger seat. A moment later, something metal and ear assaulting blasted from his speakers.

I regretted this already.

---

I, thankfully, got to choose the music on the ride back, so Elle King announced our arrival back to the base.

Bulk pulled to a stop and we jumped out his cab, me pulling the two plastic bags with us.

Miko took off into the base, not a glance back as she shouted “Come on!”

I had one pit stop to make before we commandeered the bathrooms.

“Jack!” I called, jerking my head for him to meet me halfway as I started up the stairs.

He did, and I handed over the second bag.

“What’s this?” he asked, glancing inside to find soda, candy and some bags of chips.

“Do not disturb tax. We’re having a girl’s day.”

Spinning on my heels, I marched back down the stairs and made my way into the base.

---

I flopped onto the old chair with a groan, my back protesting. Three hours of standing was not easy.

But hey, Miko has bright pink ends and was currently kicking Raf’s ass at Mario Cart, so it was worth it. Kinda.

This shirt had been one of my favorites and now it was bleached to all hell.  And my ears were still ringing from the speaker we’d used.

But hey, karaoke was the bomb. Totally worth it.

I moved my hands to rest on my back, using them to lean backwards and stretch my spine.

Primus, what time was it anyway?

Jack had left a couple hours ago for his shift and said his mom had made us stuff for dinner that’d he bring back. Miko and Raf would be getting ready to head home soon.

Jack and I would probably spend the night. June had nightshift and my parents were out of town again so there wasn’t a reason for either of us to make the trip back.

Spinning the chair around, I opened my textbook again. Interlacing my fingers and giving them a crack, I started up my laptop and got busy.

At first I struggled to find a point to start on, but once finding a cool quote online, the words started flowing and flowing.

I apparently missed Raf and Miko’s goodbye and Jack’s arrival because the next thing I knew, Ratchet was using a digit to cover my screen.

“Oi!’ I turned to glare up at him.

“I understand all the well putting your health aside for a project, but you need food and sleep.”

I glanced down at my phone and tapped the screen, 11:34pm shining back at me.

Oh scrap, I had been here for almost 4 hours. How was that even possible?

I looked around the base. Optimus was watching with just as much concern as the medic, Jack asleep on the couch already. Well that explained why my eyes were burning and why my stomach ached so fiercely.

“Yeah, ok.” I conceded, rubbing my eyes. “Lemme just save this quick.”

Ratchet relented, moving his digit so I could quickly save the document before gently closing my laptop.

Standing, almost every bone and joint in my body cracked. Ratchet cringed, having verbally stated his hate when I did that many times before.

Barely having enough energy to shuffle, I made my way to where ‘dinner’ sat cold. Eh, lasagna was better cold anyway.

Grabbing a plastic fork, I ate straight from the glass dish, barely able to keep my eyes open. Ratchet wished me a goodnight and I returned the sentiment between yawns.

I had just finished all I was going to eat and was preparing to get settled on the smaller sofa when Optimus walked over and held out his servo for me. No need to tell me twice.

I climbed abord and let him carry me to his room. When we got there, he sat on his berth, and then swung his legs over and got settled on his back while I situated myself on his chestplates.

The pillow and blanket that were left in his room for occasions like this were brought up for me and I thanked him, curling in onto him.

Yeah, I slept on his chest when I slept over. And yes, it was extremely dangerous but he was yet to roll over in his sleep and kill me so we’d keep doing it.

“Y/n,” he started.

I hummed in the form of a reply for him to continue, fluffing my pillow.

“You planned to do your school work earlier, but then when Miko confessed her distress, you abandoned your work to help her. Why?”

What kinda question was that?

“She needed me.” I answered simply, shifting slightly so I could look him in the optics. “I could always do the work later. She needed me then.”

Optimus seemed to accept that answer. “How did you know she was in trouble?” I went to answer, but he continued. “And those actions you and Jack exchanged, almost as if you were having a conversation, but without words. How was that possible?”

I huffed a laugh, getting settled once again and closing my eyes. “Body language. We could read each other through our actions, and those translated into words. Same thing with how Miko was acting. She wasn’t talking, sitting by herself, hunched into herself. She was sad. Jack shrugged, meaning he didn’t know why.”

I paused, thinking of how I could possibly explain it any further and found there really wasn’t much more I could say. Body language just was.

Thinking back on it, the bots never really did speak through body language. All conversations were verbal, and I’d never seen them silently gesture to one another before.

There wasn’t really a way to explain it to someone. You could explain some of the actions, but it was so ingrained in human culture, it was never a need explain. It was the universal language, though now I guess it was only the human language.

“I’ll teach you sometime.” I said through a yawn, settling down further into his warm metal.

“Rest well, My Spark.” Optimus agreed, bringing up his servo to settle over me.

I drifted off to sleep moments later, the sound of his spark beating steadily in my ear.  

----

“You are… cold.” Optimus finally settled on his answer, which was so far from the correct answer Miko and Raf dissolved into giggles.

Jack looked wounded. “Am I that bad at acting?” he lamented, giving up and walking away.

The intended action was bored, or uninterested, but to the Cybertronian warrior, somehow sitting with a sigh and resting your head on your fist meant being cold.

These lessons were taking a lot longer than I thought they would, and apparently more coaching than I’d imagined.

Body language was seriously something none of the bots knew. In fact, Ratchet had laughed at the concept until I’d explained to him some of the common actions we did.

He then grumbled about how these pointers would have been helpful when dealing with Agent Fowler, like it was our fault no one debriefed him on human mannerisms.

“Bored. He was bored.” I answered, standing too. This was not going well.

“He is not the only one.” Arcee mumbled.

I turned to glare over at her. “No one asked you to join in.” I muttered even softer than her quip.

“You don’t like Arcee.” Optimus blurted out.

Jack barked out a laugh so hard he missed the chair he was aiming for and hit the floor. Miko and Raf dissolved into more giggles.

“Well that only took 6 months.” I sighed. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea anymore.

The blue and pink stabby stabby femme turned to look at me, her optics narrowed. I looked away to avoid her gaze.

No doubt this would come back to bite me in the ass later on.

“You are embarrassed.” Optimus helpfully decided to test his knowledge.

He wasn’t wrong, but I wasn’t too embarrassed. I wasn’t trying to hide my dislike for her. But being called out in front of her by him was a little harsh.

“Good work, Optimus.” I rewarded his observation. The proud little smile he awarded himself was too adorable.

All jokes aside, we were making some progress. And once I’d see the bots use some of our gestures when they’d been sneaking up on ‘Cons and couldn’t talk.

In some ways, us humans were actually helping out there. And teaching these ancient bots something new.

And Optimus was like a little puppy, so excited to learn more and prove his skills, which were still in development but he was getting there.

We still had to work on his ability to read the room, and when to keep his observations to himself.

But we’d get there.

To save everyone from the embarrassment, the tones sounded for energon signals being picked up.

“Time to roll!” Miko cheered, like she going to go anywhere.

“Sit down.”

“You are authoritative.”

“Optimus, just go out… there, somewhere!” I snapped, gesturing to the opening portal.

This was seriously turning into something I regretted.

The Prime walked over to his screen, and made a plan with his team, and then just before slipping through the groundbridge, he turned to me and said, “You are annoyed.”

“Optimus!” I picked up an empty soda can and yeeted it towards him.

I seriously needed to rethink this decision.

[haikyu-mp4]

The Guess Monster legacy

Your son wants to play volleyball, like his stepdad Tendo, for my Parenting event<3

requested by @sharkissm. word count; 504 – gn!reader

There was only one week left until your son was going back to school when he announced:

“I want to play volleyball.”

He looked surprised when you and Satori gasped simultaneously and turned to him. Satori was already tearing up, thinking of the summer he had spent getting to know his stepson even more after moving in with you two.

Satori could be a lot, so he did his best to tone it down while your son got used to having an extra person in the household. Even if they got along well before the wedding, he didn’t want the kid to think he was trying too hard to be a father figure to him just because they lived together now.

However, he found one thing to bond over: Passing a volleyball in the yard. Obviously, a volleyball lay amongst the things Satori brought when he moved in, and it awakened a curiosity in the active young boy. Spending time together like this gave Satori the opportunity to teach him some technique, while also giving them time alone to talk.

You would typically be off doing something else when this happened, lending your two favourite people some guy time.

Halfway through the summer vacation, they got to the point where a cheap net was put up in the yard, and Satori started giving some pointers on blocking.

So now, as your son expressed that this shared time had indeed left its trace on him, Satori couldn’t contain himself when he abandoned the laundry he was folding with you to squeeze your son in a hug.

They immediately started researching places that offered training after school, which then led to seeing which middle school he should pick for next year. You’d watch them sit huddled together, Satori’s excitement equal to his stepson’s, and nothing could have made you happier.

Few parents would attend volleyball games, but you and Satori came to as many as possible. Sometimes, you had no choice but to stay late at work instead, but Tendo would be just as insistent on coming to watch his stepson.

Let’s just say there’s a new Guess Monster around and he’s wearing that same purple uniform, because you learnt a few years later that your dear husband started saving up the very same day your son told him he wanted to play volleyball, so that he would have the option of going to any school he wanted when the time came.

In his first high school game, someone on the team asked your son who that red-haired guy singing in the bleachers was. “That’s my stepdad. He was a starting player, and middle blocker for Ushijima when they went here. They’re best friends,” he answered with pride, and you had to hand Satori the napkins much earlier than expected to dry his tears.

His stepson isn’t embarrassed of him at all. That little weirdo on the court who sang teasing songs for his opponents was happy to be a Tendo, carrying on his stepdad’s legacy.

masterlist

for the requester: this was one of my favourite requests for this event, I hope I did it justice<3 thank you for participating!