#some next gen type shit

[shrimpalbuspotter]

Albus making eye contact with James Sirius in a crowd of laughing students after he was just WINDED by Karl Jenkins and is currently fighting for his life on the hall floor

James Sirius about to comically whistle and look around them then begin muttering something about "how wonderful the walls look today, does Hogwarts have a skin care routine?" before not at all inconspicuously bolting in the other direction

[aceofwonders]

found this quote in my notes that i have no memory of writing...

‘Jekyll’ to ‘Hyde’ – “I do not fault you. All you’ve ever known is war. But it is over. You must adapt…we must adapt. Together.”

[mv1simp]

I am in ur walls

I have come to raise the idea of, and hear me out, Max x PR officer reader. I’m just gonna yap now, hear me out

Like can you imagine Max going through his hoe phase and reader having to clean up his image, and she’s just fondly like UGH MAX. Part of her is like blehhhhh because more work, but the bigger part of her is like ✨jealous✨

And then at some point she makes an offhand comment like if you want to be a whore, can you at LEAST not make more work for me????

Cue Max and her starting to be a thing, and him trying to rile her up enough to get her to be their own PR issue just for shits and giggles and he gets quite risque and horny and her resistance to it just turns him on even more until he’s saying and doing the filthiest shit in the middle of the paddock just to get her to crack——

Also can you imagine how hilarious it would be if they get caught and GP is like NOT YOU TOO READER LIKE DOES HE HAVE A MAGIC DICK OR SMTH——

WELCOME TO MY WALLS!!! This idea HAS ME ahahahah see I was always a crackfic writer at age 12 on wattpad, its time to remerge into the light with this prompt

Like you know how max is so millennial coded. And she’s actually the same age as him but he thinks she’s older cause she’s always looking so stressed. And she like um that’s cause you’re a fuckin manwhore max?!? Have you thought about celibacy for a hot second? And as they become better friends she demands he hand over his card so she can invest in some good skincare

(max also suggests maybe she needs to get dicked down good, he’s happy to provide that if she wants or? 🤭����)

But anyways she’s pumping out Gen z memes left right and centre to distract the masses from his slut era and he’s always like wdym “i have zero rizz and am a bitchless cat dad”?? I know memes?? Remember hawk thua-

ALSO WHENEVER HE REALLY TRIES TO RILE HER UP ON THE PADDOCK AND SHE CANT DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT SHE MAKES HIM DO THE MOST ANNOYING SOCIAL MEDIA CHALLENGES TO GET BACK AT HIM like imagine her making him do a kiss marry kill with the drivers and he’s like 😑😑 and everyone’s like babes come here we got max Verstappen saying he’d kiss Alonso, marry charles and kill George before GTA 2024

ALSO I’m jumping the gun but after he ✨seduces her ✨ there’s so much scope for the classic shenanigans. Accidentally wearing shirts inside out. Accidentally wearing each others Redbull shirt and she could get away with oversized style but everyone’s like “max why tf are u wearing a crop top”. (GP knows. He knows and he can’t look either of you in the eye. Everyone has started asking why he loudly announces himself and waits 10 seconds before walking around the corners of the Redbull garage and he’s like…no reason. But his face is one of a man who has seen many, many things)

Anyway you have ban any contact of sexual nature after that incident that you have dubbed CropTopGate. But obviosuly that just makes max even more feral cause we know how competitive he is 😼

ALSO he’s notorious for going through personal managers as well but once you two start getting tension but you’re still all like “nooo 6 foot driver millionaires aren’t my type okayyyy 🙅‍♀️🙅‍♀️”

So he demands that you be promoted to his personal events manager as well. To which you are adamantly like NO knowing what this means for your poor self control but Christian Horner is like yes maxie boo 🥰 so now you also accompany max to all his lil modelling gigs, looking anywhere but at him while he stands shirtless next to you with a cocky grin.

OR LIKE IMAGINE HE AND A MODEL ARE DOING AN ADVERTISEMENT TOGETHER LIKE ONE OF THOSE SEXY PERFUME ONES. AND DURING A BREAK THE PHOTOGRAPHER NOTICES YOU AND MAX TALKING TOGETHER

and he’s like i don’t care who you are get over here NOW this sexual chemistry is insane so you end up in a very compromising pose up against max verstappen, F1 driver, cat dad, and certified slut while he’s whispering dirty things in your ear

(He catches on quick that you really likes it when he speaks Dutch, good thing you can’t understand it cause he’s just reciting his grocery list and enjoying watching you blush and squeeze your legs together)

very cute idea hehe thank you for messaging!! I LIVE for some sexual tension, reader is a better woman than me for trying to resist the advances of max 😮‍💨😮‍💨

[stonedficz]

✰ star shaped ✰ ch. 2 ❛ i've heard about you ❜

[schlatt x streamer!reader]

ch. 1 / ch. 3 / ch. 4

note: this has lots of music. the music helps set the tone for the story. There may be formatting errors, typos, etc. Please excuse them.

and SURPRISE! Due to the high volume of music linked in this chapter, the fic playlist is live! (this fic includes some of schlatt's music :))

[accept request?]

Click.

-POV: you. 10 am-

Inevitably, after the stream, I went to sleep. A nice calm slumber with schlatt's videos in the background. It was calming. I love his voice.

The next day came fast.

"Shit!" I ran out the door, late for my monday-morning class at college. Community. I wasn't exactly the high-achieving type. Well - I guess I was, but I'm not good at school. I was really smart, charming, and funny, but if I have to sit down to take a test, I might have a panic attack. The student rep's office didn't care, either, and said I had to have a disability diagnosis to qualify to even test in a separate room away from everyone else. I'm not disabled... just late.

I slammed through the doors to the building all but one of my classes took place in. Today was gen. ed., English. God, I hated this. What good was English class if I already knew how to speak it?

Using it to read and write, I guess. Cracking my laptop open, I managed to ignore the entirety of the lecture while prepping ideas for my next stream. THIS was what I aimed high for. Stardom. I hoped for it, at least. I never really thought I would be able to do it, I just wanted attention. Good attention - the kind that made people want to share their stories with you. None of that mattered anyways. I wanted a man. Schlatt. God, he was on my mind all the time. His hands.. his arms.. God, his voice. That man was so attractive I could drool. I needed him.

-General POV.-

As your professor droned on for 2 hours, you scoured the internet for ideas, help, and schlatt fics. You even pre-wrote some of your messages to schlatt. You were incessant. Right now, you were back in his DMs writing another sweet message. You worried this would drive him away - but he never came close to begin with,

what did you have to lose?

Your breakfast, apparently.

As you typed, you noticed something. Your breath hitched, hands instantly becoming clammy, shaky, and glued to your keyboard. Vomit crept at your throat.

Instead of seeing a notice - one that reminded you every day that he was out of reach - one saying "Invite this person to message.", you saw:

read yesterday at 10:48pm

"What." your breath hollowed out your chest like the hole Alice fell into. Your wonderland. You barely muttered that into the air at the back of the lecture hall. You slammed your computer shut, packed your bag, and ran out. You threw yourself and everything into your car, aimlessly scratching at your phone. You were desperate. Panicked. Nauseous.

-

cookkizkill

hi buddy! hope you're having a great day <3 I just finished recording another video for youtube. you're a great inspiration.

cookkizkill

hey babes! i just had my first stream. i got a few viewers. i try to imagine what you felt like when you first started to give me comfort when i worry nothing will ever come of this. i loved your most recent vid <3

cookkizkill

hi handsome! i finally hit 5 twitch followers. yesterday i hit 200 subs on yt. thank you for being a great influence!! i know i wont be huge, but I’m thankful i get a chance to share my life with people. thank you for your stream today! i hope to be on one with you sometime <3

read yesterday at 10:48pm -

"WHAT THE HELL?!" a blood curdling SCREAM croaked out of your throat. Thank God your windows were rolled up. You wiped the sweat off your forehead, leaned your head on the steering wheel, and held your phone. You shook. Panicked. Lost your marbles, for hell's sake.

"It was a terrible idea to ever message him," you started to hyperventilate. Tunnel vision ate away at your already poor, astigmatism ridden eyesight. Your eyes welled up with tears. You were so confused.

"What is going on? Why can I text him? WHY WAS MY TEXT READ?!"

Your head slammed back into the seat headrest. You had one person to call about this - your childhood best friend. She wasn't exactly reliable, or smart, but by God was she a party.

riiiiiiiiing, riiiiiiiiing, riiiiiiiiing click "Bex!! Oh God, you're not ready for this," "What are you talking about? What happened? Why do you sound so freaked out?!" "Schlatt read my texts. He accepted my dm request and now I can text him." "NO FUCKING WAY" "WAY" "AAAAHHHHHHH, Y/N, this is your DREAM! Get that sucker to collab and you'll be famous!" "It's more than that, though, I'm worried this is bad. Like he's gonna blast me on his stream or something. What do I do?" "You play the part, you get his ass." "Dude. Stop. I'm not scamming him. I WANT to be like him, not be his enemy." "God, okay, fine. But when you ain't got that bag girl.. don't come crying to me." "Alright, bud. Bye." "Byee~" click

"Motherf.." your eyes glanced back down at the phone. You opened up the chat again.

What now?

A short time had passed, just enough to get home and settled, but also enough to make you feel as if father time had fallen asleep on the job and forgotten to make the clock tick. You went home and got back to your desk. Maybe now you could gather an idea as to what was going on.

c l i c k c l i c k c l i c k

You desperately tried to find the words. Any words, actually. The only thing that came to mind was to be completely honest and truthful.

cookkizkill

hi again handsome! I saw that you accepted my dms; what's going on!

-

You waited. Very impatiently at that. The time couldn't go by any slower, at this point. You anxiously sipped water at your desk. Did I mention you were waiting?

Your mind travelled all the possibilities of this - it could mean nothing, he could be belittling you, suing you, or doxxing you. Maybe this was him begging you to leave him alone. Maybe he would invite you onto a podcast, and if it didn't pan out well, you wouldn't reach the air at all? Maybe he was proposing. No, that was a weird thought for even you to think. He’s a star, not someone normal like you. You clicked off your tab and slammed your phone down onto your desk. God, you were a wreck. HE wrecked you. Emotionally at least..

bzzzt.

You ripped your phone up from the desk with your nasty, clammy hands. You were drenched in sweat.

-

read just now

jschlatt

I have a lot of respect for someone trying to make meaningful content. I've kept up with your messages since a bit ago. Doing good dude. Keep it up. Let me know when you do your next pod and I'll ft. If you want to go through with this we can get all the details and paperwork set up with my lawyer.

-

“‘Doing good-‘ ‘Keep it up’? HE’S SEEN MY VIDEOS?!” You clawed at your beet red, sweaty face. “Holy SHIT. HOLY FUCKING SHIIIIIIIITTTT!” your screamed like a little girl meeting a disney princess for the first time. That was a mistake, as it was met by angry thumping on the other side of your apartment.

“Sorry!” You yelled towards the wall. Your crotchety middle-age man neighbor hated your guts for being loud. It was broad daylight, God forbid you make noise.

-

cookkizkil

i really appreciate that! i adore the weekly slap :) you’ve been a great influence for me doing everything i do. especially the live pods. they’re a GREAT deal of fun for me, and i know you try to do content you enjoy.

I’m sure you’ve seen me with my best friend, if you’ve seen any clips or anything, but we chat just for fun. i can get all the paperwork done today! when would you be interested in collabing? and do you prefer to do a fun pod or a more philosophical leaning one?

jschlatt

Up to you. I’m already established so idgaf what we do, do your content for your socials. I’ll be the usual.

cookkizkill

usual what, if I can ask? Also, i know YOU know, but don’t expect to make more than a buck (if that) off this collab. just a warning lol. my email is cookkizkillsocials@...com. send those bad boy legal documents over!

jschlatt

Me.

I’ll have my lawyer email you the forms. Money isn’t a motive here, you enjoy my podcast, I enjoy yours. Win win.

-

You almost pissed your pants.

"HE ENJOYS MY PODCAST?!" you absolutely screeched from your desk into your hands over your face. What WAS THIS? Was it a dream? A terrible, irresistible, divine dream? Your favorite person ever, whom you were utterly obsessed with, liked YOUR podcast? You slapped yourself so hard it would burn. Why? You didn't know, but by God, you came to your senses.

"I gotta get down to business. I need time with him. Content or not, this is going to fill every gap in my heart that ever existed. Holy shit. I can't believe this." your stomach fluttered inside of you, the weigh on your chest became crushing, all at the same time. "Holy fuck. I'm gonna meet schlatt. In person or online, one way, or another."

-

cookkizkill sounds great!!! let me get some plans pulled together over the next day or so and we can discuss this further. :)

-----------------------------------

-POV: Schlatt. 12:53 pm-

"She finally saw, huh?" he muttered to himself. He sat at his desk while he uploaded the latest VOD, hearing his phone buzz. He just guessed it was her. His phone didn't go off much. Just Tucker and him exchanging wordles every day, and that had already happened. What else could it be?

-

cookkizkill

hi again handsome! I saw that you accepted my dms; what's going on!

-

Well that was a let down.

"She's not freakin' the fuck out? Jambo, what the hell is this? Bitches love me. Why isn't she spamming me gibberish?" he chuckled to himself, rubbing the cat's head.

"She makes some good shit. She's normal too. Unless she's faking it, then whatever I guess." he scoffed. "Maybe.. nah.

Fuck it."

his fingers diligently typed a reply to you. He carefully worded everything, in the event you decided to screenshot, or let all of your 5 twitch streamers what happened. He scoffed again. "The fuck am I even doing? I know I shouldn't.." he backspaced a few letters, his breath hesitating as he stared at his screen. "..What would 200 people on youtube do to someone like me? Nothin'. It'll be fine. Bitch probably won't even say yes."

He thought back to about 6 months ago, when he first read your message. You were a frequent stream watcher, donator, and you messaged him everywhere, all the time. He knew it was you, your handle was the same on every platform. You were unmistakable. Obvious. Incessant.

~~~6 mo prior...~~~

"Damn. She fuckin' likes me, huh?" Schlatt looked at ted and showed him one of your many dms, holding his phone out to him. They both let out a deep chuckle, having a few drinks with Tucker at the end of recording one of the few Chuckle episodes left.

"Yeah bud. Just like the other 13 women that watch you." Ted snorted, sipping. "I do think it's sweet though, y'know? All these people genuinely look up to us sometimes. Means a lot to me." He took another large gulp.

"Let me see!" Tucker said in a drunken stupor. "I'm a member of this podcast, by God! Fuck you!" Ted pat him gently on the back as he started hilariously laughing after yelling at Schlatt.

"C'mon bud, I'll get you upstairs. You know your wife is waiting. She went to bed three hours ago." Ted chuckled softly, smacking Tucker on the back as he tried to stand up. "BRB schlatt."

"Yea, fuck 'em. Fuck you too tucker." Schlatt drunkenly chuckled. He looked back down at the message he showed his friends.

"well, maybe.."

His thumb hovered.

[accept request?]

"Nah."

Click.

~~~now~~~

-

jschlatt

I have a lot of respect for someone trying to make meaningful content. I've kept up with your messages since a bit ago. Doing good dude. Keep it up. Let me know when you do your next pod and I'll ft. If you want to go through with this we can get all the details and paperwork set up with my lawyer.

-

He started to scroll through your Instagram. Photos of you, your favorite people, your cat, your car. You had a small black tabby and a shitbox of a car. You acted as if they were the best things in the world when you posted. Why? Grateful for the little things, Schlatt guessed. Maybe you grew up poor. Maybe.. you were just a good person.

You two were messaging back and forth for a few minutes. He let you know he didn't care about the money. You were a small influencer doing something he deeply respected: what made you happy. Now, it was all on you to get the podcast episode together. He would just sit and chat on it - no leg work needed. Easy money. Or lack thereof.

He went on your youtube. The only thing he kept up with was this. Vlogs, GRWM's (which he didn't particularly enjoy, but he wanted to see what you were all about) VOD's of the lives you deemed genuinely entertaining, recipe videos, everything.

"This chick's still got her whole damn life on the internet, huh?" he snorted in confusion. "The hell?" he glanced down at the very bottom of your channel, starting a year and a half ago. He hadn't seen this before.

"To the people who sparked my inspiration:" 15 min. 4 sec.

"Well, you got my interest sweetheart. I'll bite." he sighed with a small and unintentional chuckle. His finger hovered over the thumbnail of your sweet face.

Click.

"Hey guys! This will be one of the first videos I really get out there, but in the event I randomly blow up hehe, I needed to get this out!

I'm starting my freshman year of college soon.. I never wanted to go, but I know it's what I should do. I don't even know what I'll be going for. I don't really know what to do. One of my favorite people has a similar story - except he dropped out to follow his own path. I may end up doing the same. I don't know what my future looks like, but I do know I'm gonna do my best to GIVE myself a future, and to make it authentic. I want a community."

He listened to all 15 minutes intently.

You had him hooked.

[bisexualmcqueen]

may i offer this thought for the feral racers hc

racecars are like loyal little guard dogs (not little at all. those are metal beasts) with the people they love. they just kinda like. imprint on people and its like an immediate switch to feral mode when they perceive threat and danger to loved one. and they do that thing where they try and make themselves bigger to intimidate enemies.

idk if its something similar like this has posted about or discussed before but uh yeah. the feral racers hc just kinda read to me as racecars being like dogs. wolves. instinctually wild animals. i like how strip and doc being particularly old veterans translates into them being Extra Dangerous or Extra Feral, something like that. though i dont even think racecars get normaller the newer/younger. i think the next gens are just a different flavor of freak (i.e. chewing, zoomies) like they're domesticated sort of in a way

YES YES exactly

ok many thoughts. lets see here

so ive been thinking about this and. the thing is. that part of what makes this headcanon so fun is that theres actually canon precedent, in a way.

Lightning for example. is crazy protective. like instantaneously. zero forethought, action only, putting himself between the Danger and the Friend.

some examples:

in cars TVG, Chick hires the DRH to rob Mack so Lightning will be without supplies for the upcoming race. when Lightning hears that Mack was very upset about it from Sheriff, he gets so pissed off he takes to the streets, tracks the DRH down, and proceeds to spend all night chasing and beating the shit out of them until they drop his stuff. not because he was Robbed, but because they Upset Mack.

i think its funny that Sheriff doesnt say Anything. he just nods in agreement. ...not that i think Sheriff could have stopped him though. Lightning is sort of Insane about Mack. Mack is the greatest. [two quality versions. one oldschool for nostalgia and one more HD]

in the comics (admittedly ive only read in sections), Mater was beefing with Bubba, Lightning also started to get pissed off at Bubba being rude + protective of Mater:

i dont know if Lightning would be good at fighting or get his ass beat terribly. either way, i want to watch.

next up is my favorite example: the thunder hollow crazy 8 race. Lightning LEAPS in to help Cruz several times. it is my fucking Favorite.

HERDS HER BACK OUT ONTO THE TRACK

and then he jumps in front of a speeding attack-bus and takes a metal sawblade to the drivewheel for her. NO thoughts, head empty, protect Cruz. love this man. apparently, type-c school busses can be between 10-20,000 pounds. crunch.

and my last example on this topic: the radiator springs 500 1/2:

these racers show up in town looking for trouble. its supposed to be a silly little western parody, but in terms of this headcanon it comes off as territorial as hell imo. wdym other racecars show up at his house to fight him. hello. and then they insult Stanley, which deeply upsets Lizzie:

cue getting their asses kicked by mcqueen. that is HIS freaky old woman.

[i love this short]

so yeah. my terrible guard-dog-horse-thing-car.

Doc is largely The Same:

14 billion KEEP OUT signs. shooing Lightning away from his friends family because he is A Perceived Danger. another racecar standing in his lawn barking. yeah. you territorial old wet rag.

I agree with what you said its very in line with the vibes of the headcanon yes. true and real. def like dogs/wolves, and i personally try to throw some cat/horse stuff in there too. again, i blame being an x-men/wolverine fan.

a few other tidbits from source material for funsies:

^that ones wallpaper, apparently. for like a Room. in a house. my cars wallpaper merch thats 2018 xrs drag racing diecast merchandise.

Doc was so amped to do racecar stuff again he wakes Lightning up in the middle of the fucking night to run around in circles with him the moment he shows back up in town.

they lost Guido in the fucking sand.

Cars Origins: Struck By Lightning quick aside: "everyone's going to think something is wrong with me" Lightning these are not mentally stable thoughts im so sorry.

second topic: generational/evolutionary differences.

first of all i would like to point out that my basis for strip especially being some sort of craazzy toothy freak is entirely the headcanon of @youhavehitawall that i adopted out of coolness. non has some lore about the weathers that explains it, but basically it boils down to a repeated expression of racecar genes getting more pronounced the more generations it travels down (so long as its an expressed gene).

now for the nextgens (funny calling them that in 2025. theyre all in their 30's lmfao. not saying thats 'old', but they arent rookies anymore, damn does time fly). [disclaimer: dont quote me on this, my knowledge is an approximation] in real life NASCAR, they used very old technologies right up until about 2012. carburetors, leaded gasoline, 4-gear h-box frontend transaxles, reticulating ball steering, etc. most of these things vanished from the dealership road cars between the 60's and the 90's. Meanwhile cars like Lightning and Cal are still running this stuff in the mid-aughts. so when the nextgens came along, they showed up with fuel injection, e85 15% ethanol fuel, 5-speed sequential rear-mounted transaxels, rack-and-pinion steering, bigger aluminum wheels, bigger calipers, and less ground clearance/more areo, there was a very sudden and massive shift in what sort of technology was being run in the piston cup. tech-wise, Lightning +co were very similar to cars like Chick and even Strip. the change in tech could be a good marker for other genetic shifts too. cars change much, muuuch faster generation-to-generation than mammals. its Moore's Law in a way: theyre machines. add that to the incredible 12-week turnaround in which every team booted their driver and replaced them with a 'nextgen', and ive had to spend some time wondering Why? why??? thats brutal! Doc certainly warned us, but goddamn. imagine if that happened mid-season in any real sport! holy shit! (i still want to know more about the fan's reactions to this...) in the context of this headcanon, i Also wonder about what you said, the nextgens being feral in a little bit of a 'different' way. maybe theyve got easier-to-handle temperaments; an added bonus to their overall higher speeds+better track times. uhm. Jackson being the temperament-outlier here, maybe.

to be fair, he did get fired after throwing too many fits.

Cars Origins: Storm Chasing

But yes... racecars!! they are a lottt to handle. the driver AND the incredibly powerful machine mashed into one?? hooo boy. honestly i am a bit fearful of racecars irl. very loud, very fast, smell bad, they breathe fire, etc. why not reconcile that by making the talking ones into Beasts. theyre already crazy, already quadruped, my brain just starts assigning horse/wolf to them. and some of it comes down to me loving logan-wolverine tropes. protective growly little guy with pointy teeth. yeah can i get 5 more of these little fanged bitches.

ok i have to stop yapping now this turned out quite long, but i still have Things to Say about this headcanon/worldbuilding. i didnt even get into the amazing bonds racecars seem to have with their teams/families (the 'imprinting' thing you mentioned!). very fun!!

thanks for the ask!!

[xadeone]

I'm halfway through Season 1 of Hamster and Gretel and I need to say I expected much. Much less. I came in with mild expectations, thinking it was going to be an okay show with an entretaining enough premise and that'd be that.

Oh my god how WRONG I was.

It is SO GOOD. First the characters: I had seen screenshots of scenes and some characters I thought would be cliche and annoying (Fistpuncher and The Destructress). Again I was wrong. Not only no one is annoying but the interactions are funny and feel honest. Kevin and Fred are great for grounding and slowing things down a bit from all the superhero action and I love them dearly, the cousins ever.

Next, the humor. I am marvelled at how it manages to have a current more gen z or younger humour without being cringe at all. It understands its audience and uses the typical vocabulary accurately and efficiently. Just the fact that it isn't cringe at it is more than a lot of shows out there trying to be like "Ah How Do You Do, Fellow Kids" type of shit. No, HnG nails it.

The songs???? Some of them have no right to go that hard. My favorites so far are La Cebolla (its so silly omg) and Tearing You Down. But most if not all are bangers.

I need to tag @adhdoofenshmirtz bc they are the number 1 reason I started watching. I am so sorry for having such low expectations lmao You are so right This Show Is Great.

[hanjicakes]

ᯓ tangerine_hyo93 ᡣ𐭩

synopsis .�� - after an online argument, an unexpected friendship blossoms

content info .ᐟ - nonidol!yoongi x gender neutral!reader, yoongi is a rage baiter and little shit, reader stans le ssera and yoongi stans twice, enemies to friends, they both are chronically online

word count .ᐟ - 2.0k words

author ' s note .ᐟ - i wrote this in a day it's just something short and sweet for the kids DAMN!! i was busy with ap testing but summer is here and i'm READY.... also no hate to either groups mentioned i love both twice and le ssera so don't think I did this to express hatred towards them m'kayy?

my mastrlist ૮₍›ᆺ ‹ ₎ა

Being a K-pop fan was something you took particular pride in. You were loyal to your favorite group and always bought their new albums or defended them in Twitter arguments that wasted more time than they should. The walls of your room were covered in more posters than your roommate appreciates, but you never cared. You saw it more as a wall of appreciation— a patchwork of all the things that bring you joy and fill you with passion. 

You sit on your couch, wrapped up in an old blanket. It was well into the night and you didn’t have to work the next day, so you decided to go on a movie marathon. You lazily reach into your chip bowl to gather something to snack on, only to realize it was empty. Too tired to get up off the couch, you just frown and settle back into your position. Your eyes scan the screen and you quickly remember how boring you found this scene to be. The main character and her love interest are in another fight and you know it’s going to end the same way as the last one. Instead of paying attention, you reach for your cellphone and log onto Twitter. Just to pass the time.

You scroll mindlessly while reading tweets about upcoming comebacks, concert clips, and controversial opinions about if idols should sing live or not. You don’t really think about any of it until you find a post from a fancam account. Your favorite idol is performing at K-Con, singing their latest solo song. Automatically, you open the comments and begin to type out an overly affectionate message about how beautiful they look and how much they’ve improved. Just as you are about to press send, your eyes read over a comment from a day ago.

tangerine_hyo93: sounds similar to feel special. twice will always be the blueprint for these new groups lmao

What the hell? You squint slightly, making sure you’ve actually read that right. Is this person hard of hearing? This song sounds nothing like any Twice song. Your thumbs begin to move toward the backspace button to erase everything you originally wrote.

yxnjin_prtty: are you deaf or just dumb?? IJBOL those sound NOTHING alike just bcuz ur miserable doesnt mean that le ssera is so why dont you just crawl back into whatever hole you slithered out of??

You never really addressed hate comments. Those people were miserable, anyway. But, this specific comment irked you. Something about this person, how they said that the song was copied from Twice so casually, as if it were fact, upset you. Maybe you need to log off and touch some grass. The movie is probably getting good again.

Your phone buzzes just as you are about to reach for the remote. Tangerine_hyo93 replies already? Don’t they have a damn job? Well, it is 9 PM on a Friday, most people wouldn’t be working. Despite what your gut says, you open Twitter again. This is going to be a long night…

Two weeks later, you sat slouched in your usual cafe booth. Your left hand held the blueberry muffin you ordered while the other held on to your phone with the Twitter app open. Somehow, that one interaction during your weekend off had spiraled into some weird internet rivalry. Wherever you were, tangerine_hyo93 managed to be there, too.

tangerine_hyo93: these are the 4th gen leaders? kpop is ruined…

tangerine_hyo93: i thought id be kind and show you some real talent @ yxnjin_prtty

tangerine_hyo93: how are these girls still relevant? is anything they do original?

yxnjin_prtty: do you have a life outside of being obsessed with me and le ssera on twt? ur more of a fan than i am LMAO 

tangerine_hyo93: you’re right… their fans hate them enough lol

A huff of irritation leaves your lips and catches the attention of your friend sitting across from you. She furrows her brows while stirring her drink with a metal spoon. “What’s your problem? You’ve been acting like a wet cat all day.”

“This… Guy! He’s always replying to my comments and mocking me, it’s so stupid! This is Twitter and he acts like it’s his full time job!” You complain, letting out all the frustration that had built up over the past few weeks. You take a bite of your muffin as your friend speaks again.

“Well, you’re still replying to him. Just turn your damn phone off, dude. It’s just music, it isn’t that serious.”

“But it is!” You retort, “Le Sserafim doesn’t need any more obnoxious haters!”

“So, you feel like it’s your… Moral duty to defend these girls from some guy with a Twitter account? You’re too deep into this K-pop stuff…”

You grunt under breath as she points out how you aren’t being reasonable either. You chew silently, thinking over how to end this obnoxious behaviour.

Sitting at your desk, you stare at the Twitter webpage. You had to end this madness. It was going on three weeks— you had a life to live that didn’t involve checking Twitter replies every five minutes. With a hesitant click, you start a new DM.

yxnjin_prtty: hey, dude. this has to stop. I get we both bad each other mad abt our favs but like i have a job i need to do and this isnt working… cant we make some sort of peace treaty or smth??

Pressing send felt like a weight being taken off your shoulders. You weren’t sure why you didn’t do this before. You weren’t sure why you started this in the first place. You go to open a Youtube video while waiting for a reply. About half way through your video essay video, you hear the familiar bird chirp. You quickly switch tabs and read the response you got.

tangerine_hyo93: sure, i guess. i was just bored and you were easy to make mad lol

A faint sigh of relief leaves your lips as you accept the fact he is ready to quit, although you aren’t a fan of him finding you an easy target.

yxnjin_prtty: im not easy to make mad tf??

tangerine_hyo93: i just spent a month ragebaiting you lol. you’re very easy to make mad, it’s funny

yxnjin_prtty: right… so ur like a jihyo stan or smth??

tangerine_hyo93: was that not obvious?

yxnjin_prtty: no it was very obvious but i honestly like her solo album

tangerine_hyo93: yeah, it was peak

Over the next few weeks, you slowly warmed up to this annoying stranger. You found out his name was Yoongi, and he was a huge Twice stan. He admitted after a while that he didn’t even hate Le Sserafim, he just got a weird kick out of making people mad— something you would definitely need to get used to.

Turns out, the two of you actually liked a lot of the same groups and would often share funny memes or new songs with each other. You were open about being mutuals with him and would often tag each other in posts to defend your favs together. After two months of friendship, you actually asked him to meet you at your favourite cafe, but you quickly found out he actually lived in Korea. You didn’t let that fact deter you and you decided that meeting each other could definitely wait. Maybe you were rushing it. You hated his guts a few weeks ago, anyways.

The more time that would pass, the closer you would get with Yoongi. You had evolved past just Twitter mutuals and would actually contact each other with your real phone numbers (probably a bad idea, but high risk equals high reward.) Once a week, you Facetime and just talk about your weeks with each other, no K-pop involved. You learned more and more about him. He worked in IT and was actually pretty decent at the guitar. He was planning on saving up to fly to Los Angeles for Waterbomb with a few of his friends. The idea excited you a bit. You could easily drive to Los Angeles, well, not easily but it was definitely doable. 

“What?” He said, his voice muffled slightly from both the bad connection and the noodle he slurped in his mouth. “Why would you drive to LA? That’s not possible.”

“Oh, it is. There’s highways everywhere in America. It wouldn’t take more than a day or two.” You respond. The two of you were on call as you got ready for work. Time zones often made your interactions limited, but you quickly found out that his sleep schedule was non-existent. It makes sense how he was able to constantly reply to your comments.

“America is weird…” He grumbles.

“Yeah, but it works out well. I can buy tickets after work if you do? I need to plan my days off and get a hotel room…”

“I’ll… Talk to my friends.” He says, scraping the last few noodles into his mouth. He chews them slowly. “But, I’ll try and get a flight tonight, too, I guess.”

You glance towards the camera as you pump lotion into your hand. “You don’t sound excited for this, are you sure you still don’t secretly hate me?” You ask jokingly.

“Nah. I never hated you. Just liked getting a rise out of you.”

You don’t think you’ve ever been more embarrassed in your life. Not when you got that ridiculous haircut in middle school. Not when you showed up to a job interview in sweats and a stained t-shirt. Not even when you sneezed on your dentist when you couldn’t candle your appointment because of your cold. The California sun beats down on you and makes you sweat more than your nerves already do. Oddly enough, Yoongi told you to meet him by the port-a-potties.

You wave your electric fan in front of your face as you scan the faces in the moving crowds. Your lips press into a thin line while you reach into the back you brought with you— the same one covered in loud keychains and decorated photocards of Chaewon. Pulling out your phone, you go to text Yoongi to see if, maybe, he was almost there. Hopefully, he was just trying to park somewhere?

‘Hey, man, where r u?? it lowk stinks out here…’

You wait for a bit, but never get a response. You quietly turn off the device and slide it back in your bag. Your shoes are starting to get uncomfortable and you're starting to get irritated with the heat. You decide to scan the crowd one more time before going to the main stage. Almost immediately, your eyes land on him.

He glances around the park with a bit of a clueless expression. Wearing a plain white tee and a pair of jorts, he shifts closer to where you stand. Pushing away any lingering hesitation, you move towards him and grab his arm once in reach.

“Yoongi!”

He jumps slightly, pulling his arm out of your grasp. He looks at you with an upset expression but it quickly fades away as he recognizes you.

“What the hell… Do you normally go up and grab people like that?” He grumbles, his hand fidgeting with the plastic water bottle he brought with him. “Let’s go, it’s hot.”

“Wait, we have to take a photo…” You mutter, digging in your bag to pull out the small digital camera you brought in. He watches you try not to drop all the things you’ve stuck into your bag, which definitely is too small to hold everything.

You quickly move over to Yoongi’s side and wrap your arm over his shoulder, forcing him to crouch down slightly. Before he even gets time to adjust to the camera, you snap several photos and quickly send them over to your phone.

“I didn’t smile?” He mutters.

“I know. Doesn’t matter.” You say.

Later that night, after you and Yoongi bid your farewells for the day and returned to the hotels you stayed at, you logged into Twitter. With a faint smile gracing your lips, you type up a new post for Twitter.

yxnjin_prtty: met oomf today <3 enemies to lovers fr @ tangerine_hyo93

tangerine_hyo93: we are not lovers?

[mr-walkingrainbow]

Okay maybe it’s just me but, this episode kinda? Sucked ass???

Yellowjackets season 3 episode 7, a rant

Okay so first we get some long ass frog thing. Then literally TEN WHOLE ASS MINUTES OF ABSOLUTELY FUCKING USELESS BACKSTORY ON THE BIRDERS. I skipped that shit instantly cause I knew it wasn’t gonna matter and I was right.

They literally take two steps in and Lottie goes FUCKING BATSHIT CRAZY. And absolutely MURDERFIES the guy. Like stabs him so severe she rips off his whole ass scalp and everything. Love her. But also she’s fucking insane and finally everyone realizes that.

This isn’t Lottie hate btw. People just needed to stop believing her delusions. And MH GOD NO AKIHLAH. FUCK THAT. Her trying to reason with it to Travis? No baby girl. My Shayla. Baby. She’s excusing murder now girlie was converted

Lol I’m sorry but Melissa getting shot and being like ‘Shauna don’t leave me!’ 🥺

And then Shauna LEAVES HER ASS.

(Okay yes she threatened Maris life and said if Melissa dies she dies. But like. It was still hella funny to me that Shauna just dropped Melissa like a fuckinb potato for the hunt.)

Okay I fucking hated the hunt. What were the writers thinking. They dragged that shit out for literally like 65% of the whole episode??? They didn’t need to. Not to mention it was really poorly lit so it was almost impossible to see shit.

I will say,

Natalie being immeadiately given the lead to help hunt them. Love that. She’s still my antler queen.

Vans desperation for the phone to work and her immeadiately trying to call her mom had me nearly in tears. Like. Van wants to go home so badly. She still just wanted her Mama even though her mom’s a peice of shit.

LOTTIE PLAYING WITH THE GUYS BRAINS AND BLOOD SHES CRACKED OUT NOW

Mari fucking I love you Ibarra just trying to revive him and scoop the brains back into his head 🥺. She’s so dumb but I love her so much

Liked the gore of pushing the arrow through

Okay now onto the stuff they rushed

Loved the car scene. Yellowjackets road trip is lit at. THE TEXTING SCENE HAD ME DEAD.

GUYS GUYS GUYS GUYS. CONFIRMATION. CONFIRMATION MELISSA AND GEN ARE DEAD. THEY ARENT THE BONUS SURVIVOR. GUYS MARI OR AKIHLAH COULD BE THE ONE.

this genuinely shocked me cause I thought they were headed to having Melissa be the bonus jacket.

The pain in taissas voice when she called out for Van as soon as she started coughing up blood was 10/10. Very angsty.

Taissa absolutely folding and copping to be Vans wife.

VANS HALLUCINATION WAS HER YOUNGER SELF AND BEING MARKED FOR DEATH

VAN REALIZING ITS BEEN DARK TAI ALL ALONG FUCK.

10/10 creep factor. Taissa covered in blood and dirt and saying she won’t let them take Vans eyes? Absolutely obsessed.

And then it just cuts her her giving Vans blood type and genuinely being so fucking scared for her.

But 🥺 Van begging dark tai to let her tai come back. Cause in the end she just wants her Taissa.

Okay but Misty confronting Shauna and Shauna denying it only to literally OEEL THE FUCK AWAY ONCE AGAIN. I’m sorry but that is SO damning.

My rating for this episode? Honestly at 4.5/10. It had some great moments but overall it very much felt like the loser filler episode that all tv shows have. They over did the hunt way to fucking long. And we literally didn’t need to know shit about the hunters. I understand the rest of the episode without that useless ass ten minutes. I’m actually really fucking dissapointed in this episode. There was so much anticipation riding on it from last week and they just absolutely NUKED it. Completely ruined the vibe and the build up. It’s a shame too. That build up was coming since the very first episode of this season and for them to actually butcher it like that was extremely upsetting and disappointing. The next episode better be twice as good as ep 6 to make up for this shitty ep

[zoniteillusion-pyritedreams]

Sunghoon as a boyfriend??👹❤️

I feel like I constantly want to be shocked in terms of these readings when it comes to again the 4th / 5th gen boys but like I'm just I'm not. Mainly because again I feel like they're all just a little traumatized and because of that they all happen to be just a little possessive a little obsessive a little if you genuinely want a booktok Wattpad fanfiction ask type of boyfriend. Then baby y'all need to sit there and start using the law of assumption( the law of attractions perfectly fine I personally don't like it but you know whatever we're not talking about spiritual shit technically.) And start trying to manifest yourselves a fourth/5th gen Idol boy.

I personally blame Jackson Wang yeah that man sat there and accidentally became the very thing that fans were unintentionally manifesting him to be and I feel like because of that now the fan energy is so God damn strong in the universe that a bunch of fans have accidentally manifested two entire generations of boy group members that are exactly how the absolute filthiest most unhinged what the fuck was wrong with us slash honestly make sense when you think about it FanFictions that used to be and probably still are written about some of these celebrities and how people would just imagine them to be in a relationships has somehow managed to manifest again into two whole ass generations!

What’s Park Sunghoon Like As a Boyfriend?

First song on the playlist?

“First Guess” by Charli XCX

Translation:

“I knew you were gonna wreck me... and I let you.”

We’re not even five seconds into this and already? CHAOTIC LOVER VIBES.

Sunghoon isn’t the “safe pick” he’s the “I know better but I want it anyway” boy.

You’re not falling in love. You’re getting dragged into (the kinky depths of hell while he rearranges your guts and makes you sit there and cry out in desperation pleading gagging not being able to breathe. All while he has that ridiculous smirk on his face and then act like nothing happened 5 minutes later and that he does not understand why you can't walk straight and instead please the docking oh no are you okay boyfriend while you're sitting there trying not to let everyone else know that he just rearranged your guts dressed you and then offered you out of the house because you had plans and the idea of you possibly turning other men's Head absolutely made him go feral.) it—lip gloss smeared, phone on DND, body aching, soul trembling.

THE ASTRO COCKTAIL:

Neptune Reversed:

Oh babe, he’s hard to read. The man gives illusionist energy one moment he's soft, the next he ghosts you emotionally (not literally, he's too loyal for that).

You think you know him? Plot twist he just shapeshifted into a completely different flavor of boyfriend.

Jupiter Reversed:

He’s slow to open up. Not into big, flashy declarations of love until he’s 110% sure you’re not here to break him. His love language? Earned trust. And once you pass the test?

He spoils you in his own understated, hot-boy-in-love way.( Plan B birth control and condoms are your new best friend.)

Sagittarius:

Don’t get it twisted though he might be cautious emotionally, but this man?

Adventure in the sheets.

( Kelly Rowland Motivation now playing)

Witty, flirtatious, dangerously charming when he’s in his comfort zone. He’ll pull you in with a dry joke and next thing you know your hoodie is off and you’re in a very unholy position, legs in the air head on the ground pretending to be watching the anime playing on the TV.

THE LOVER’S ORACLE SAYS:

“Feel your relationship being healed this very moment…”

This is a man who loves deeply but with scars. He wants to be seen not just for the pretty face and Idol image, but for the quiet, observant, moody boy underneath.

He’s healing.

You’ll feel it when you hold him.

You’ll feel it when he says “thank you” after you kiss his cheek instead of his lips.

(As I had stated and hinted at before homeboy is currently in the middle of healing. 100% still stick by the fact that I don't think you'd be getting into any sort of a serious relationship or ready to be in one for the next few years I'm talking 2029. But he also gives off Slow Burn energy so technically speaking anytime during the next like this year and 3 years following he could still technically meet someone it just will be a slow burn. Unless of course they can like like that fire Underneath Him or they happen to be a spiritual girl eat yourself like I said people need healing and people heal differently all of the time but nothing is set in stone also if you know anything about the laws of the universe you can quit literally manifest shit that you shouldn't be able to. I think I would have to do a story time about like the several times I accidentally manifested going to concerts and then the few times I accidentally manifested having my tickets upgraded because like holy fuck was those experiences. Though I would probably never do standing or VIP pit area unless they're seeing because Ur spiritual bad bitch also happens suddenly be 144 / 145 cm tall for my Americans that don't know how to convert that obituaries only 4 ft 9 1/2 in tall. Even though I tend to wear chunky golf step on me mommy heels two concerts that are comfortable as fuck a bitch is still not seeing over like 5'3.)

ISLAND TIME TEA:

Addiction:

Once he lets you in, he’s OBSESSED. You become his person. His comfort. His addiction. He might get a lil clingy without realizing it (he’ll play it cool, but he checks your texts five times before replying).

Love:

He loves hard. He won’t say it right away... but his eyes will. His actions will. That one late-night “did you eat?” will hit like a sonnet.

Karmic Relationship:

This is not puppy love. It’s "you triggered me and I still want to hold you until I can breathe again” love.

The kind that teaches him things. The kind that hurts a little because it matters a lot.

( all together now. A little traumatized!)

MESSAGE OF LOVE:

Boundaries:

He respects yours but also needs his. If he shuts down? Don’t push. Just hold space. He’ll come back with a softer version of himself and a hoodie for you to steal. Also may end up being slightly clingy for a little bit 48-72 hours of soft boy Hoon.

Vulnerability:

He’s selective. You’ll only see the realest, rawest sides of him if he feels safe. He’s emotionally intelligent under the surface but guarded like Fort Knox.

Support:

The boyfriend who’ll stay up with you when you're anxious. Will never mock your dreams. Will let you lay on his lap while he strokes your hair in silence.

Soft touch. Quiet loyalty. Ride or die in disguise.

SO WHAT’S HE LIKE?

Sunghoon is the “slow-burn, enemies to lovers” main character of your life.

He starts as a mystery,

becomes your warmest blanket,

then surprises you by whispering filth in your ear at 3 a.m. with a smirk that ruins your whole soul.

He’s:

The glacier that turns into lava.

Soft-spoken in public, POSSESSIVE IN PRIVATE.

Quick with a dry joke, slow to say “I love you,”

but when he finally does?

It’s in the form of soft groans, sleepy eye contact, and holding you like his life depends on it.

Aesthetics? Cold prince.

Vibes? Soft dom.

Heart? Hidden in layers, wrapped in silk, pulsing for the one who earns it.

You don’t date Sunghoon.

You UNRAVEL him.

And once you do?

You’re ruined for anyone else.

[ceoandslutler]

Shit i hope u get depression then slit ur wrist open u child loving fucktard

On god a drunk driver needs to smash u in between a tree before u rape a kid, you fr need to die

Fucking nasty ass pedo, literally Diddy Jr fucking off urself u pedo cunt

this doesn't really affect me but it's kinda funny how it's not ending. anyway in light of this happening, i would like to remind you that i am a real person.

hi, my name is sayé, im an adult gen z who's currently studying in university. i was born, raised and live in london and have two parents i love a lot. i also have a lot of friends but i used to be badly self conscious when i was a child so i tried to be more confident/reach out to others and ended up making friends with lots of different types of people.

my favourite colour is purple but i also like gray (if you couldn't tell lol). i really like queen esp a night at the opera and a day at the races (my fave albums!!) and have a huge crush on freddie mercury. also im a loser who listens to bts and have their posters in my room next to freddie 😭 i can do a mean serve and play really good tennis so much that in secondary school i was banned from serving during PE. i suck at baking but my best friend is an avid baker (so is my mum). BUT i can cook a delicious minted steak. my mum scolds me for always making my food too spicy. my dad always brings me a red bull whenever he sees me and loves ruffling my hair. my mum and i watch horror movies together every week (but my dad is too scared to watch them). i buy homeless people food whenever i can. i really want a cat but i don't have time for one. my favourite holiday is nowruz but i also love christmas because the street decorations in london are so nice. like most brits, i love princess diana but hate the monarchy. i used to watch "a place in the sun" often (british telly win). speaking of, i adore 5 oclock in the morning by lily allen. it's one of my favourite songs. fun fact i adore playing rhythm games and im really good at mobile ones but suck at osu!, also i may be addicted to dave the diver 😭 i love seafood, esp smoked basa, my mum fries it for me every nowruz (since fish and herb rice is our cultural new years' dish)

here's some of my most recent conversations w different friends that aren't too personal (no hate to law students LMAO)

i am a "normal" person. i live a "normal"* life. if you saw me face to face, you would not say this to me.

*by normal i just mean everyday, obviously norms are just social constructions but ykwim

if you saw a young adult w their friends, you wouldn't have the gall to even approach them.

if you saw me out w my sweet middle aged parents, you would think we're just a happy family.

i am a real human being.

i was part of this fandom since i was a kid. this blog is new but it does not contain anything explicit about fictional children/minors doing sexual acts. because i am not interested in that personally. it doesn't mean i will police anyone who does want to see that kind of content however because fiction is not real.

people telling me to die doesn't hurt me. but that doesn't mean others won't be hurt. my mental strength is not a pass for you to tell me or anyone to die.

i am a real person and so is everyone on this website.

anons need to remember that.

[crookedkryptonitebeliever]

Oc battle royale

For my convenience, I am only including my Gen 3 ocs (Yves, Montgomery, Cyprus, Blanche and Leveret even though he belongs to Gen 2 because he's one of the 3 brothers)

Im gonna call this series Fabricated Reality Au

TW: violence, like a LOT of it, blood, gore

I did have like thoughts of putting all of them in a Big Brother (the TV show) situation, like all of them in one huge gated community complete with a gym, theatres, mock shopping centers, etc, and basically like a mini town in the Truman Show, none of them get to leave but they do get to access the internet and order stuff from there. They can't leave due to some paranormal shit (the author keeps teleporting them back or there is an invisible wall like most sandbox video games)

Everyone lives in this one mansion, including you, who spawns in with no memories of who any of these men are. You don't even have memories of your past identities. Unfortunately, though, they all knew you from their respective timelines and loved you to bits.

Yves would be the first to realize what is happening because he is the oldest and has encountered weird shit like this before, already have a theory that everyone is in a simulation and has some other eldritch knowledge that may or may not break the 4th wall, so he's calm as hell and sets up his hidden cameras and does his own thing and experiments. The mansion will have his entire vault under it, Yves can freely access it however and whenever he wants through his personal office

The same goes for Blanche, he's slightly shaken but knows things like these happen, so he would try his best to navigate the anomalies while staying optimistic. Leveret has an idea of what might be causing the strangeness and how to deal with it just like his 2 other brothers, but he doesn't seem to care too much, as long as he has access to you, his skin care, hair care and wardrobe, and whatever he deems necessary, he will be fine

Cyprus and Monty would be freaking the fuck out because they're in a perfect replica of their rooms (or in Monty's case, his childhood room) but once they exit it, it's the hallway to some fancy fortress. Weird shit keeps scaring them; like things that are not approved by the entity that's controlling the situation (author) keep disappearing, lapses in memories when they discover something that they're not supposed to yet and they swear they saw Yves phase through walls at some point.

They tried killing the three brothers (and each other) using all kinds of methods- violent or otherwise, but each of them came back unscathed the next morning. Yves and Blanche would pretend nothing happened as part of their strategy. Leveret would raise hell and kill them back to get even. Only to be resurrected the next day and be the receiving end of Leveret's cold shoulder.

Cyprus goes on a bloodbath after he gets his first death until he calms down and realizes that he's merely wasting his energy, they all keep coming back and Yves is the only one who frustratingly cannot seem to be killed; not even once. His ego would take a massive hit due to his inability to even land a punch on Yves no matter how hard he tried. Fighting Yves will always end up in Cyprus tiring himself out to the point of collapse, or instantly getting killed if Yves isn't in the mood that day to waste some time. The only time Yves LETS anyone kill him is when you're watching, to taint your view on them.

Blanche would pretend to be feeble and eat all his blows no matter how deformed his face would get, so if Cyprus tried to give him a beatdown, it just looked like a big bad bully tormenting a harmless and frail old man. And that isn't a good look for Cyprus, especially if you're the empathetic type. But all of the men knew what that grey-haired bastard was capable of with his brass knuckles. If Cyprus and Blanche were to go one-on-one without any weapons, it would be a stalemate with both leaving each other in puddles of blood, broken bones, and mangled flesh.

Monty takes on a more passive approach of staying away from everything (and of course, attempting to protect you from it too by keeping you in his room, or even in Yves's care if things get too chaotic in the mansion) until he gets a decent grasp on the reality he was thrust into, he would refrain from engaging in violence even though he might get pretty violent himself if stressed out enough.

However, most of his attacks are defensive. He wouldn't feed anyone a knuckle sandwich first as long as they don't bring you into it.

After his first respawn, he would be flabbergasted but a lot more relaxed knowing that he would always come back. He's still going to be peeved as hell if someone tried to kill him just for the lulz because dying HURTS like a bitch. Montgomery would engage in murdering the other participants ONLY if there is zero chance of you witnessing it. He would try his best not to let you see his death despite you knowing no one really dies here.

Leveret is not getting his pretty nails crusted with blood. He carries a gun with him at all times, because sadly he is the weakest of the five in terms of combat. Not to say he doesn't have any fighting skills, any normal person would be dead if they were to take him on hand-to-hand. But he is only slightly faster than Montgomery, who only has his prior farm and construction work to prepare him for combat.

Without his gun, Cyprus could one-punch him into oblivion. Montgomery could easily overpower him, Blanche would pulverize him into meat paste before Leveret could blink, and obviously, no chance against sweet, sweet eldritch entity Yves.

Each of their financial assets would be transferred into this reality, Yves being the most advantageous because he's already in the top 0.05% in his universe.

Blanche would be next because he earned quite a lot from his organ harvesting side hustle.

Leveret keeps his financial side vague, but he can effortlessly afford items that most middle-upper-class workers can't.

Cyprus isn't necessarily the uberwealthy, but he has more than enough money by working as an accountant for various corporate offices to live very, very comfortably. However, it's not unlimited, if he wants to continue providing a good life for you and him (And to earn your favor in this fucked up situation), he has to pick up the slack and find a way to keep his bank plump.

Montgomery is the poorest, so even in this reality, he has to get out there to get some cash to spend it on you.

This leaves the three brothers to occupy most of their time at home while the other two are out there making a living. However, Leveret's clandestine job requires more of his attention sometimes, and Blanche actually has to acquire organs from someone else (He can just kill Cyprus, Montgomery, or Leveret to steal their livers now) to sell.

Leaving Yves to spend the most time with you and to run the household. You eat his cooking the most and receive much more cuddles from him.

He doesn't like it when the men murder each other, because it ends with him scrubbing the floors so you wouldn't slip on their viscera, get sick, or be bothered by the smell/ appearance of it. Yves tried hiring maids and butlers, but they kept dying at the end of the week. And not in a peaceful way either, having the other servants clean their coworkers' remains up isn't helping their morales. No matter how many safeguards he tried to put in place to protect them, your other deranged self-proclaimed husbands would get to them like the feral beasts they are.

It's mostly Blanche and Cyprus being the culprit- being the two most jealous of the five, occasionally Leveret when he's feeling murderous and petty. Montgomery would discourage everyone from killing the servants because he knows that they're just doing their job and merely existing, it's not like they can take you away from them. He trusts that Yves has something to prevent that.

So Yves resorted to being the one who kept everything in order, the patriarch of this fucked up "family". Everyone except yourself has chores to do each day and was told to please clean up after themselves. He has to put up posters reminding all the men to "Please dispose of your corpses appropriately", Yves would personally train them to adhere to certain protocols. Hell, he even opened up a conference room especially for the men to "settle their differences", but Cyprus pointed out it's just a murder room with all the plastic sheets covering the floor and walls being replaced each time it's been soiled. It's heavily soundproofed too with an array of tools and weapons being displayed on the racks.

Yves told them to call it whatever they wanted, as long as the blood didn't reach the hallways because it kept traumatizing you- their beloved, and he was tired of being their caretaker when he was supposed only to be that to you.

Surprisingly, it didn't take long for them to use it as intended. Because they realize the effect it had on you is not at all positive. It doesn't stop Blanche from trying to get any of the 3 men (he knew Yves would never fall for it) to hurt him in front of you, though.

Because of his shrewdness, power, and wealth, all 4 of them begrudgingly agreed to have Yves set the rules. No one trusts him, but he's the most competent and scariest. He knows how to get each of them on the floor, in a fetal position, shivering, sobbing, and begging for mercy without even touching them or using you as a threat. Yves knows the most and knowledge is what makes him unstoppable.

Yves despises sharing you. But under these circumstances, he knows he has to. He is horrifyingly adept at playing domestic politics, the men knew never to outwardly question Yves if he suddenly graced them with more bonding time with you; just appreciate the opportunity and focus on enjoying while they can. They all knew it was always some sort of plan to keep all of them compliant, but with Yves being the way he is, it's really better to just roll with it. Never get on his bad side or he will turn the entire household onto them, including you- which is a fate literally worse than death for all of them.

None of them knows what the goal of this anomalous reality shift is, except Yves and perhaps Blance and maybe Leveret, who vaguely knew it's some form of entertainment to beings on another astral plane. But even he could not confirm if his theory is true, he only knows some of the rules and logic. Not a single one knows if things will be back to how it was, or if this will be their new normal permanently.

But they do know they share a similar purpose: to love you, to keep you safe and happy. To the best of their abilities, at least. And you're the only thing keeping them from nuking the entire town to billions of pieces.

[tirednshet]

Httyd, Next Gen.

IVE DONE IT, PEOPLE!

After days of writing, trying to find proper names, and (trying to) make it as accurate as possible, I present to you my version of the next generation of dragon riders in httyd (in this AU)!

*(Btw, the descriptions are from a series of stories im making, so it will contain a shit-ton of lore. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!)

Zephyr Haddock - The eldest of the Haddock children, and the future heir to Berk. She reflects her fathers sarcasticness and creativity. She rides a Stromcutter she named Skysplitter. She is also the unofficial leader of the next generation of Dragon Riders, and is willing to protect all of them, especially Nuffink, when they are in danger. She often feels pressured by this new role, due to the fact she was placed in it overnight, but is guided by Avery. She feels guilty and feels as if it is her fault that her parents, and Berk, are in the state they are in in the first place. She doesn't like to talk about it all that much.

Nuffink Haddock - The youngest of the Haddock children, and while not the heir, still the Chief’s son. Unlike Zephyr, he reflects his mother’s traits of being adventurous and brash. He rides a green Nadder named Buckwing. He tries to help Zephyr the best he can on Dragon’s Edge, but sometimes goofs off with the cousins and Eira. He doesn’t like hearing about Berk, because it reminds him of his parents and the condition they are in.

Scullnut Thorston-Jorgenson - The son of Snotlout and Tuffnut (fraternal mother was Ruffnut). He inherits both of his fathers’ chaotic personalities, while also reflecting their loyalty to their old team. He rides a Typhoomerang named Glowtorch. When he escaped from Berk, Thornut wasn’t on the best terms with his parents (there will be TONS of context on that later). He feels guilty about it, and often feels like they ended up in their condition because of him. He takes his guilt out on the other riders in various forms, like questioning Zephyr’s leading, disobeying Avery and running amok on Dragon’s Edge with the cousins, and often zoning out during combat lectures. (He just doesn’t know any other way to deal with it, and certainly is not the type to talk about his problems).

Runa Ingerman - The daughter of Ruffnut and Fishlegs. She inherited Ruffnut’s chaotic personality and Fishlegs’s love for dragons, so the result was a chaotic love for dragons (I seriously don’t know how that would work out). Runa rides Fogs and Gust, a Zippleback from the Hidden World. She and Scullnut are thicker than the hairiest yak on Berk, because I mean, they are cousins, after all. They often secretly go on little adventures around Dragon’s Edge, just to loosen up a little. They also try not to think of the state Berk, and their parents, are in, afraid of what might’ve happened to them.

Arne - The eldest child of Dagur and Mala, and the future heir of the Defenders of the Wing, and the Berserkers. He reflects his mother’s traits, being calm and collected in times of danger, and knowing when the right time is to strike. He rides a Thunderdrum he named Waves, and often helps Zephyr as second-in-command of the riders, and keeps everyone, especially Eira, in check. He also comforts the riders when they feel at their lowest, and assures them that they are going to defeat Zelda and get their islands and people back.

Eira - The youngest child of Dagur and Mala. She inherited her father’s red hair and wild personality, and his fighting skills as well. She rides a Triple Strike named Wildeye. She has a hobby of chasing some of the Night Terrors around Dragon’s Edge, along with the cousins (Runa and Scullnut). Sometimes even Nuffink joins them as well. But Eira does have a more serious side to her. She looks up to both of her parents (mostly her father), and refuses to believe that he fell to a crazy lady and her dragon. So, whenever someone mentions him or anything related to him, she goes quiet and isolates herself for the rest of the day.

*I'm sorry if this isn't accurate/is cringey. As I said before, I tried to make it as accurate as possible (for this AU).

[lovelysoapy]

HEY IM BAAAAAAAAACK

predictions for episode 8 as of 6:53 pm on march 27th:

- hillary swank is adult melissa, shauna’s face was too weird in that one scene

- there’s gonna be a death tonight. probs britt or gen bc they simply haven’t been doing enough

- i don’t think that we’ll see pit girl until the season 3 finale, but idk. anyway i think it’s possible that mari could be the last death since they gave us more info about her character this season OR it could be hannah because i think she sounds a lot like the girl in the pit girl scene. i don’t think it’s robin

- i think tonight we could possibly get our first look at the winter

- maybe we start to see them wearing all the pit girl scene outfits for warmth so we see them in the clothes a lot

- guys i’m getting nervous for van but like what if tai kills someone in the hospital that’s already on their deathbed

- i want to see some more mari and nat after that fucking look nat gave her 😭

- i will not take callie slander on this page, i hope this girl gets on her detective shit

- i think kodiak is gonna kill akilah but maybe in the ninth episode. i saw this on tiktok a couple days ago, but it was my first thought when i heard what his name was. kodiak is a type of bear and in akilah’s vision there was that weird bear 💀 i just think the connection is right there

- someone needs to confront lottie 😭 i fear it’s getting out of hand and the licking blood last episode was crazy (i love you lottie you’re my baby but i just wanna talk and make sure you’re doing alright 💀)

- also i honestly really hope we get a scene for melissa and shauna. that could be either super sweet or a break up scene. i literally don’t care. i just need to know what goes on with them

- speaking of breakups…. um…. tai and van…. when is thaaaaaat gonna happen?

*i did not proofread or check that i spelled everything right, i just started rambling. enjoy my thoughts and predictions for tonight + a lil for the next two eps😍

[blueridee]

jjk second years

author's note- i loveee the second years sm and there's not enough hcs about them so i had to add some lol

<3

Yuta

We know how much this man loves his friends, always asking if they've had their lunch or keeping up with their missions. So he's definitely the type to keep emergency snacks or water bottles on hand.

Unintentionally flirty due to his kind nature, but when called out, he turns red and starts rambling, “No, no! I didn’t mean it like that—I mean, not that you’re not—you are, but—ah!” Cue more teasing.

To ease his nerves, he tries different crafts or hobbies like crocheting or building model kits, but he's terrible at most of them. Surprisingly, baking actually worked out(?) and now everyone at the dorm gets cupcakes whenever he stress bakes lol. They're probably ridiculously over-decorated because he overthinks the designs.

I hc that he has insomnia or at least has trouble sleeping. So although it doesn't help much, he has a collection of different tea bags-green, chamomile, ginger, tulsi, lemon, anything you say, he has it.

About the unintentional flirt lol, toge made a joke on a gc once and now panda and maki love teasing Yuta about his "pretty boy" reputation, often telling strangers that Yuta is a famous model or something equally ridiculous.

Maki

Total gym rat. She’ll 'gently' scold the others if they don’t push themselves during workouts, "If you can’t finish this set, how do you expect to survive a curse attack?”

Has a secret stash of sweets she claims are "for energy". Some of Gojo's sweets randomly go missing, but no one suspects her lmao

Shows affection through roasts and training sessions, but she’s fiercely loyal and will stand up for her friends no matter what.

After the incident with her ass father, she might not show it but she'd be a little insecure about the burn marks. Not because of how they look but more so that they showed that he had managed to overpower her. So whenever she has those thoughts i can see her training extra hard, pushing herself on the field till she collapses. Yuta and toge got her some scar cream, there wasnt an explanation but the silent support made her treat herself a little more kindly

She’s surprisingly patient with toge and probably was the one that suggested that they should all try and learn basic sign to surprise him, she'll never admit to it though.

Toge

I mean we all know he's a total troll and a menace online, he definitely speaks in gen alpha slangs. Has spammed the gc with memes at 3 am so they all have it permanently on silent notifs now.

Has quite the... interesting music taste lol, ranging from lo-fi to heavy metal and loads of video game soundtracks. Everybody dreads it when toge gets the aux cord on long rides but they dont point it out. He knows about their suffering but he doesnt care, prolly even gets joy out it lmao.

Doesn't like signing unless he absolutely has to, like if he was talking to a stranger, that too most ppl dont know sign lang so he either texts them or writes it in his notes app. Plus he’s expressive enough to rely on context and vibes most of the time.

They had a sleepover during their 1st year and this shit decided to set the mario cart coin sound as the alarm. for 5 am. on a sunday. highest volume. and proceeded to sleep through it. Yuta and panda had to hold maki back from suffocating him with a pillow.

Panda

If someone’s upset, he’ll offer big bear hugs or sit quietly next to them until they’re ready to talk.

Comes out with random nuggets of wisdom at the strangest times, leaving everyone wondering how a cursed corpse got so philosophical.

Loves hosting movie nights and insists on popcorn fights during action scenes. Would insist on themed snacks for each movie (“Kung Fu Panda”? Dumplings!) lol ofc it's kung fu panda

The peacemaker between the group but also eggs on all off toge's or yuji's dumb ideas, “It’s for their character development.”

A shameless dancer- panda is always the first one to bust a move when music plays. He’s not particularly good, but his enthusiasm is infectious.

[sephifrog]

Genesis Rhapsodos alphabet headcanons

A -Affirmations (what he calls you)

 My Goddess, love 

B -Blush (does he blush when you're close by?/How do you make him blush)

Feel Gen only gets flustered when he’s drunk because if you try to make him blush he just turns it right back around on you-it’s worse if you were trying to embarrass him and he just chuckles deeply and sends you a smirk before turning the tables, your usually the one that's blushing and pouting

C -Comfort (how does he comfort you or what do you do that comforts him)

Playing with his hair or singing to him even if you’re bad at it he likes hearing your voice it grounds him, and if you play with his hair he’s putty in your hands

When he comforts you he gets you to cuddle up to him and reads you a book (more than likely loveless), hearing his heart as well as having his arms around you makes you feel safe and calm

D -Dates ( what do you do on your dates)

Wine and diner-he would parade you around - he also has moments when he wants you all to himself however so you’ll have the occasional at-home date and eat his cooking

On your first date, he took you to an expensive restaurant and ordered the most expensive wine he could get, he wanted to impress you (and he was nervous below his cocky attitude and needed some liquid courage) E -End (what would end your relationship?)

Being in Silver Elite -not believing in him, I feel he’s very touched and love-starved and if you start to doubt him it will hurt and he will lash out with his words

F -Fear (what he’s afraid of)

He fears you choosing someone else over him and leaving him - if it's during crisis core he’s afraid you’ll hate him or someone will hurt you

G -Genesis Rhapsodos

An arrogant, prideful man but if he loves you , you get to see a softer side, one that loves Dumbapple pie and reading poems at all hours of the day, he’s petty though so be careful if you upset him he’ll never let it go until he messes up (but he would argue he never messes up)

H -Hold (how he holds you)

Genesis would always hold you from behind loving the feel of your hips in his hands, even if your taller he would just rest his head on your shoulder -he also loves it when you hold him

I -Injured (what would he do if you were hurt?)

He’s a hot head if he saw it happen whatever hurt you is on fire withering on the floor while he checks on you, he would be the type to lash out at anyone except Angeal if they tried to take you from him

J -Jealous (is he Jealous?)

Not really, he knows he's hot shit and that you love him, however, if you show Sephiroth even a pinch of affection he's a sulky mess or about to challenge him to a sparing match he doesn’t play when it comes to Seph

K -Kiss (favourite place to kiss)

He loves kissing your neck and lips

He loves it when you kiss his chest or honestly anywhere 

L -Laugh (something that makes him laugh)

The way you try to read loveless and your brow furrows in annoyance when you don’t understand and have to trot over to him and ask

M -Memory (his favourite memory with you)

When you wore his uniform and pretended to be him

N -Needy

Not as needy as Zack but still quite Neddy especially behind closed doors

O -Over (what is something you had to get over as partners)

His fans, their very upset he’s off the market

P -PDA

He is very open, not caring who is there to see he knows he can protect you from his fan club and honestly wants people to know you tied to him

Q -Quip (can he joke around with you? Do you have inside jokes)You have a few but most of the time his jokes fall flat and he doesn’t get some of your humor

R -Romantic (is he romantic?)

Overly so, it can get too much sometimes so he’s learned when to tune it down

S -Sleep (how do you sleep next to one another)

He holds you to his chest most of the time he sleeps on his back with his arm around you

T -Treasure (what is something he had that reminds him of you and what did he give you to remind you of him?)

 a painting of you both one he had done on your first date without you knowing

You gave him a limited edition Loveless copy maybe someone in your family had it and only a few were made

U -Unlikely (what is something that he would probably never do)

To change himself for you he likes who he is

V -vulnerable

Only behind closed doors he has an image after all

W -Wedding (would he want to get married?)

Man would want the flashiest wedding

X -(e)X (would he be friends with an ex)

No, man is petty, and after he splits with someone he’s done with them

Y -Year (how would he act on New Year's?)

Would take you out to a flashy New years party and kiss you passionately when it strikes midnight

Z -Zoo (would you get any pets?)

Feel a cat just as temperamental as him-

[vicekings]

hello everyone. Come let us play video games together. I tried to get a good mix of big and small devs + different types of games I’ve been enjoying recently. These will not be deep cuts for your average hashtag gamer but it’s stuff I like so 🤷‍♂️

Arachnophobia warning for the bonus game recommendation (webbed)

1. The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt

With the Witcher 4 trailer dropping awhile back, it made me revisit the Witcher 3. And goddamn is this still so much fun. Story’s fun, characters are fantastic, both major DLCs add a ton of fun extra content.

- the fashion in this game is off the shits. If you’ve ever explored armor mods in Skyrim, you’ll probably recognize a lot of this game’s outfits and armors. Geralt is your beautiful buff Barbie doll and you can dress him up very pretty and cut his hair and beard.

- If you’re a fan of old man yaoi you’ll love Geralt and Regis in the Blood and Wine DLC

- If you like card battlers you’ll love the Gwent minigame. if you don’t like card battlers you can avoid Gwent but honestly it’s worth getting into regardless because the Gwent stuff in this game is surprisingly addictive

- Literally all of the music in the Witcher 3 slaps hard as fuck

- The next gen 4.0 update adds some great quality of life features like fast casting for signs, auto-applications of blade oils, and improved combat controls

- modding community is big and there’s a lot of fun stuff to play with, there’s official an official modding toolset (Witcher REDkit)

- Geralt is genuinely one of my favorite characters from anything ever. This game rec is definitely affected by recency bias bc I just finished my replay of the main story and both DLCs but like I can’t state enough how much love I have for this game

2. Buckshot Roulette

It’s Russian Roulette with a shotgun.

- You can play against the handsome gentleman depicted above called the Dealer, or in a multiplayer lobby with your friends.

- It’s full of pumping euro tech club music set to scary mode.

- If you shoot yourself in the face you will be resuscitated with a wild ass defibrillator.

- You can shotgun a beer.

It’s surprisingly relaxing when you get into the flow of it. It’s like 4$ even when it’s not on sale. Well worth the couple bucks you spend. Also you can get it in a bundle with Inscryption.

3. PowerWash Simulator

Speaking of surprisingly relaxing, powerwash sim is the king of games for when I just wanna chill. The controls are super satisfying, you can unlock super useful upgrades, there’s a batshit insane background story told through text messages, really good game to play while listening to podcasts or catching up on an audiobook.

- You can play alone or with friends.

- There’s a bunch of fun dlcs that add more stuff for you to wash. There’s a Shrek dlc. There’s a SpongeBob dlc.

- You can use the power washer to draw penises.

- you can put it down and pick it up again at any point so it’s great for when you’re going insane at like 1am and need something to do with your hands without getting too overstimulated.

4. Chicken Police - Paint It Red

As mentioned in the screenshot above, Chicken Police is a noir detective visual novel. The aesthetic can best be described as “photorealistic anthropomorphic Sin City.” Genuinely such a uniquely styled game that is a lot of fun to immerse yourself in. I won’t say too much because I don’t want to give away the story, but if you like detective media then you’ll like this.

5. Vampyr

From the developers of Life is Strange, Vampyr is a game about eating rats.

It’s also about being a newly-turned vampire in post-World War 1 London, trying to balance being a good doctor with handling your new dark lust for blood.

For me, that meant eating a lot of rats. For you, that might mean eating a lot of people. Up to you. Vampyr is a game about choices and consequences of those choices. A lot of people shit on it when it first came out, but I love it and I love the story, and I highly recommend it to anyone who likes a good battle of man vs self story.

Bonus: Webbed

Webbed is a cute pixel art 2D platformer where you play as an adorable little jumping spider rescuing your peacock spider boyfriend after a fuckass crow kidnaps him. you can shoot lasers. The first ever input you’re taught to do is press Q to dance. Watch the trailer it’s so fucking cute man