#some days it feels like people looked at terfs and went

[death-rebirth-senshi]

I'm not saying there's been no backsliding on this front because there definitely has, but posts that are like "I thought we understood talking about sexism isn't man-hating" do make me laugh a bit. I think a lot of people on this website never learned that, especially in fandom circles that like to play fast and loose with the definition of "man-hating."

[euniexenoblade]

I'm transmasc and I don't think I completely understand the discussion around TMA/TME.

I'm pretty sure I mostly agree with you. Like, "transandrophobia" is not a helpful or accurate description of the transmasc experience, and I can see how it could be used to belittle what transfems go through.

Transfems definitely get more attention from hate groups. Transmasc erasure sucks, but it can definitely be a blessing when the bigots are picking their targets.

I keep seeing posts comparing trans men to incels and MRAs. I haven't seen many transmascs who would warrant that comparison.

That's not to say it's necessarily an unfair comparison. On the contrary, it probably means that there's a lot of transmisogyny going around that I'm not seeing. And if I'm not seeing it, that probably means I'm inadvertently participating in it.

IDK why I felt the need to send this to you. I guess I was hoping you'd tell me how to do better, which totally isn't your job. Feel free to ignore me and/or tell me to fuck off.

I'll send you $20 for tolerating my bullshit. Have a nice day.

Ok I wanna answer this before I get too high (I'm honestly feeling it already). Thank you for the $20, when I realized I forgot to pack a lunch today that money helped me eat still so legit thank you.

So first off, "trans women get more attention from hate groups, transmasc erasure sucks but can be a blessing." (I can't copy and paste on this screen, so I'm paraphrasing) yes but I wouldn't call erasure a blessing, no matter who it's for. They're two sides of a very fucked coin, on the one side transfems get lots of attention and vitriol, and the erasure of transmascs makes it harder for some transmascs to understand they can be trans. But on top of that, the form of transfems we see are never real representation, 99% of the time it's a transmisogynistic ideal of trans women, it's the weirdo white boy spreading lipstick all over their face just before they smash the mirror in a fit of "dysphoria" kind of shit. Though transfems have extreme visibility, our actual selves are not visible, we are ultra violet rapist horn dogs or we're the super ignorant, super emotional crybaby.

And, a side tangent, cuz you sorta did a thing the transandrodorks do that is frustrating. It's not a measurement of what's "worse." That's not how oppression works, that's not what we are saying, we are talking about the forms of oppression.

Men are not oppressed for being men. They can be oppressed for a variety of things, racism, ableism, interphobia (is this the right term I forget), homophobia, etc etc. Masculinity is rewarded, masculinity is the desire, patriarchy exists so men get to be above women. Things like "misandry" do not exist, they are inventions of violently misogynistic men, your MRAs, your incels, your conservatives (this includes liberals btw).

The person who coined "transandrophobia" used to talk about wanting to correctively rape lesbians. I'm not gonna go at someone's kinks, but the blog was not presented as a kink blog, I literally went there myself and read the posts when this first popped off and they come off as true lesbophobia in the context of their blog and coupled with the misandry posting, this person literally looks like MRAs and incels. The defense the community uses is "it's a kink are you kink shaming?? It was on a private locked blog!" Which, the latter, no it wasn't, I literally went there and looked, and the former. Idk I think if you're saying you want correctively rape lesbians while also talking about misandry and counting "transandrophobia," you look misogynistic and homophobic.

The main writers people follow for transandrophobia related content are straight up liars, who make shit up, and one specific non horse entity consistently cites himself as his own "source" and when he doesn't, he cites terf blogs that are connected to kiwifarms and sites of the sort. They will take bits talked about in feminism and present it as a thing they discovered and present it as transandrophobia. Ie. "Men can't show any femininity and can't cry and that's misandry" despite things like this are discussed at length in feminist texts, men can't do these things cuz that makes them more "woman" in the societal lens. Yeah it's fucked, but it's misogyny, not misandry.

I am, consistently, misgendered by the transandrodorks, and so is every other trans woman that disagrees with them. And it's definitely intentional.

Then there are token trans women who don't know much of anything about feminism or transphobia and will straight up harass you for saying women are oppressed. They often weaponize transmisogyny against other transfems, they misgender, suicide bait, or in velvetvexations case, will stalk your blog for two days even though you ignore her and when she's sees you're on a date with your wife, she goes to your wife's blog and starts messaging her instead. Legit, this woman is one of the worst people on this website, the only reason she's not seen as communismkills 2 is cuz men like her.

On top of this, terfs consistently support "transandrophobia" as a concept and constantly say that transandrophobia is compatible with terf ideology. The transandrodork community is ripe with terfs and crypto terfs. Like that one who said he hoped a friend and I get raped, cuz saying "men arent oppressed" warrants wishing rape on people. Or the trans guy that outright said "trans women are male" and tripled down harder saying "trans women don't experience misogyny and oppress transmascs cuz they're really men," claims that were so wild that even velvetvexations couldn't agree with them lol.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: not every person that believes in transandrophobia is a bigot or a bad person. A lot are just young transmascs who are under read about oppression and history, and this terf/transphobe community swoops in and pretends to be representing them and sucks them in. For every disparaging transmisogynist piece, there's two more that are talking about the problems of transmascs. So when you tell these guys "that's a hate group" they don't remember the post calling trans women men, they remember stuff about T being super illegal. So they think we are attacking them for having a problem, not the actual bigotry on display.

Honestly, if these people would just stop misgendering trans women, they might have more trans women who'd be nice to em. But that's the consistent trend.

Transandrophobia is a violent, transmisogynistic ideology that is propped up by terf ideology. That's why they are compared to MRAs and incels.

[lostloveletters]

I Left My Heart in San Francisco (John Brady x OC)

Summary: John's heart feels a thousand miles and just as many memories away in Stalag Luft III.

Note: Title comes from the song, of course (you don’t have to listen to it while reading, but I listened to it while writing this). Do not interact if you're under 18, terf or radfem, or post thinspo/ED content.

Word count: 1.7k

Warnings: Fluff and angst, mostly introspective. Somewhat non-linear narrative, I guess.

“I won’t get any good if I don’t practice,” John insisted. 

Woody smiled, her green eyes sparkling. “Alright, but you watch that pipe of yours. If I smell burning hair—“

He grinned, taking his pipe out of his mouth. “You won’t, sweetheart, I promise.”

Woody braided her hair first thing in the morning, after hastily raking her fingers through it, tugging out any knots that formed overnight. By the heat of the afternoon, enough hair would come loose and stick to her sweaty skin that she’d have to redo her handiwork, already knowing to anticipate the black streaks of grease she’d have to scrub out of it at the end of each day.

Sometimes Holly would be around to give her an intricate and sturdy French braid, able to withstand sweat and hard work. But John had never braided hair before he asked to do hers one evening, and then with increasing frequency as time went on, desperately needing something to lose himself in. 

She sat between his legs, still and patient as he ran his fingers through her wavy hair. He parted it in two sections, letting the waterfall of blonde flow down one of her shoulders while he gathered the rest of her hair, silken to the touch compared to the standard blankets and bedsheets they were issued.

A shiver ran down her spine when his fingers gently brushed the nape of her neck.

“Sorry,” he mumbled.

“You’re fine, honey.” Her voice was soft, almost a low purr that echoed in his ears. He couldn’t remember another time when she called him honey. Usually just Johnny, which sounded wrong coming from other people, even jokingly, since it became hers, but he wasn’t sure how to tell her he liked honey too. 

He carefully layered one thick strand of hair over the other until he finished a braid on one side. Looked good, but he knew at a glance he could do better. Woody braided her hair for utility, not just to look pretty, which was a bonus in his opinion, but not her priority.

He puffed on his pipe, shaking his head before setting it aside. “They’re not even. I’m gonna try again.”

“Go ahead, Johnny.”

John stroked her hair, thinking about how he wished they had met under different—better circumstances, where she wasn’t under constant threat of losing him. He used to figure that there was a proper way to get to a woman’s heart, the way god intended, or so he’d been told: meet a nice young lady, ask her father for permission to take her out on a date, get to know each other, bring her home on time. Rinse and repeat while trying not to get too handsy before getting a ring involved.

Then the war happened. 

Then Woody happened, who probably wouldn’t have described herself as a nice young lady in the first place. No father to ask permission to take her out on a date. He wasn’t quite sure they actually saved anything for marriage (besides the having kids part, thankfully). He figured god would be flexible, all things considered.

“Everything okay?” she asked.

“There’s a knot,” he mumbled, brows furrowed in concentration as he carefully pulled at strands of hair to free them from each other.

“When I was a kid, if I had a really bad knot I couldn’t get out myself, I’d just cut it with some kitchen scissors. My hair probably looked awful.”

He almost instinctively asked why she didn’t ask her mom to brush it out, but felt the slightest bit of rage burn in his chest when he caught himself and remembered. “I care enough about you to do this right.”

“You’re also pretty good with your hands.”

“I’m glad you think so.”

“I know so,” she said, “and thank you for always being attentive.”

“Are we still talking about your hair?” 

“Oh, of course.”

He snickered, working on braiding her hair again. “Of course.” 

Neither of them spoke of the future very much, but he knew he wanted one with her. Just wasn’t sure how to go about the discussion without scaring her off, if she’d even be open to settling down. Settling. The word weighed heavy in his mind. While Woody claimed no nostalgia for her native city, a sad fondness laced her voice when she spoke of it, of the excitement and freedom San Francisco had offered her when she needed those things most. Sometimes John wondered if Ithaca would be enough, if he would be enough when all was said and done.

He swallowed roughly. “Take a look and tell me what you think. Be as brutally honest as you need to be. I can take it.”

Woody half-turned to him, an amused smile spreading across her face. Made him feel like he was being let in on a secret the way her smile sometimes did. “You could make my hair look like a bird’s nest and I wouldn’t tell you.” She gave him a quick peck on the cheek before getting up. He followed, almost nervous as she inspected her appearance in the small mirror sitting nearby. She beamed at her reflection, turning excitedly to him. “Johnny, it’s perfect.”

She stood on her toes to kiss him, deep and real, the kind that made any lingering doubts dissolve. Her lips were soft, as if she put on lip balm before he got there. Everything about her was soft, except for her hands, always rough and calloused, but something would be wrong if he felt a smooth palm cradling his jaw, or gliding across the expanse of his shoulders, down his back to cling to him. But he was clothed. Or he thought he was. Lost himself for a moment before he found the sound of her voice again.

“Before I forget—” She slipped her hand into one of her pockets. “Here, I want you to have this. I don’t really have any other photos of me, but I wrote a little note on the back of it for you,” she said. Her cheeks flushed, eyes flicking away from him for a moment. “Just so, um, you know it’s yours.”

He smiled at being handed the photo, a little shadowy and out of focus, but her nevertheless. To Johnny, all my love and more, your sweetheart, Woody. She had drawn a little heart next to his name, Xs and Os after hers. “You look beautiful. Thank you, sweetheart.” He kissed her forehead, the tip of his nose brushing against her skin. “I’ll keep it with me.”

And he did. All the way to Stalag Luft III. Looked at the photo and tried to remember the feeling of her hair between his fingers.

He nearly tore Hambone a new one for taking the photo from his hands without asking, not that he would have let him touch it in the first place even if he had. While far from salacious, having other eyes besides his own on Woody’s photo felt almost sacrilegious. After all, he kept it in the same pocket as the St. Christopher card his mother had given him before he left for basic, its laminated corners curled from his incessant toying with it for reassurance. He hardly looked at it since they bailed. Patron saint of travelers. Some good St. Chris did him.

Buck stepped in and got John his photo back before the situation could escalate further. But the cat was out of the bag. As if it even mattered then, anyway. He did take some pride in everyone’s shock at him and Woody managing to keep their relationship under wraps for nearly four months.

He didn’t expect it to come up again, but he wasn’t exactly expecting Bucky to be alive either. In the midst of Bucky's bittersweet reunion with the other members of the 100th who’d been taken prisoner by the Germans, it was mentioned among the updates everyone was clamoring to give him after he relayed what he could muster of how he survived and ended up there.

Hardly relevant, but Bucky fixated on it after John let one small detail slip out.

“You and Woody? How the hell did I not know this?” Bucky asked. 

“No one knew, except for Holly,” he said.

“Holly knew?”

“It wasn’t my idea, but Woody tells her everything. Told her about us the night you two made the bet on that baseball game.”

“That was back in June!" Bucky exclaimed, a strange combination of disbelief and slight betrayal that felt almost out of place compared to everything else going on. "She’s known for four months and didn't tell me?”

“Woody swore her to secrecy or something.”

Bucky shook his head. “You sly dog. Under everyone’s noses…” Clapped him proudly on the shoulder. “Good on you, buddy.”

John smiled. “Thanks, Bucky.”

“Don’t expect any details,” Murph mumbled.

“I’m not telling any of you about my sex life.”

“But there was one?” Bucky asked.

He sighed, resisting the urge to glare at his friend, who up until a few hours prior, he wasn’t even sure was still alive. “We didn’t sneak around for four months just to hold hands.” 

Even if that was all they’d done, his relationship with Woody wouldn’t have been any less important to him. Still, it was nice to have actual experiences to pull from, build fantasies that could get him through some of the lonelier nights when he wished he were with her, just about anywhere in the world but Stalag Luft III. The four months that were all theirs became his lifeline.

Four months. Maybe that was long enough for him to ask her to marry him. After writing to his family, that’d be his first order of business. Woody already had his heart, so he’d promise her everything else on top of that he could think of. Let her point anywhere on a map and take her there on a month-long honeymoon. Move all the way out to San Francisco with her. If she said ‘no’ or sent the letter back unopened, at least he could say he tried.

He laid back on his bunk that night, doing his best to ignore the shouting outside. Like the night guards did it on purpose to keep them exhausted. Closed his eyes. Kept her photo pressed against his chest. Tried to remember what her hair felt like between his fingers. Silk compared to the threadbare blankets the Germans gave them for the rapidly approaching winter.

“I won’t get any good if I don’t practice,” he insisted.

She smiled, her green eyes sparkling. “Alright, but you watch that pipe of yours. If I smell burning hair—“

He grinned, taking his pipe out of his mouth. “You won’t, sweetheart, I promise.”

[rjalker]

>:(

if anyone tell you pap smears don't hurt they're a gods damned liar

next time I'm going to ask them to just give me fucking laughing gas or something.

Edit two days later:

For the fucking record to ward off jackass, this post is being made by a nonbinary trans person. My pronouns are it/its. Any TERFs or other transmisics who touch this post will be fucking vaporized.

For a damn preface, for those unaware, a pap smear is a procedure done on people with vaginas to test for cervical cancer or other health problems. It involves sticking a medical device into the vagina and using it to widen the walls of the vagina so the doctor can stick a tiny brush into the cervix to collect cells for testing.

And if you try to look up whether or not this procedure can hurt, every where you look will tell you it doesn’t.

And I'm still fucking infuriated by this. Because it’s a fucking lie. Everywhere I looked beforehand said it wouldn't hurt, I might just feel some pressure. Every single fucking website and blog post and video said "It won't hurt! It doesn't hurt!"

Even now when I am specifically trying to find other people talking about how it hurts, 99% of the results are saying it doesn't hurt, and if it does, it's just because you're nervous and anxious and causing yourself problems.

Except every where I fucking looked told me it wouldn't hurt. The doctor said it wouldn't hurt. My fucking mom said it wouldn't hurt.

I was not tense. I was not anxious. I was told it wouldn't hurt and I believed all the people who'd said so.

And then it felt like having a knife shoved inside my body.

And I was told to just do some fucking breathing exorcises and relax.

Even though I'd been fucking relaxed until it started hurting, because everyone fucking old me it was painless, just mildly uncomfortable.

And I am not talking about pain like "a little pinch", I mean fucking pain like being stabbed with a needle or having a knife twisted inside you. And it just got worse the longer it went on. They had to fucking stop early and might not have even been able to collect the fucking cells they were supposed to be testing.

And when this was finally over the doctor told me that the only reason it hurt was because my hymen was intact (So what about all the fucking shit going around for years about how that breaks for everyone in fucking gym class???? More fucking lies!!), as though that had anything to do with the pain inside.

And now every fucking thing I try to look up for reasons why it can hurt is literally just fucking repeating the same shit about how it doesn’t hurt, and if it does, it’s only because you were nervous and anxious and embarassed and all the fucking things I WASN’T. BECAUSE I WAS TOLD IT WOULDN’T HURT.

Every where I fucking look, I’m told that these things don’t hurt, and it’s just anxiety, and blah fuckity blah.

For fuck’s sake, this is real fucking medical gaslighting going on on a fucking absurd level.

These fucking websites and videos and blog posts and articles may as well just fucking call my hysterical at this point for all they fucking give a shit about people who are hurt by this procedure.

Everyone’s too fucking busy insisting that it doesn’t hurt and you have to get one and if you avoid getting one then you’re a bad person and you’re going to get cancer and die.

I’ve literally found exactly one (1) article talking about how it does hurt for some people, but that this gets constantly brushed under the rug and shouted down, and how this is a fucking problem. One fucking short article out of almost a hundred that I checked.

If you are so hellbent on getting people to get pap smears that you will literally fucking lie about the fact that not only can it hurt, it can hurt extremely, then you are not fucking helping anyone! If no one’s allowed to fucking talk about how painful this procedure is, no one can actually fucking give informed consent, because all of society is apparently too damn busy lying and saying it doesn’t hurt!!!!!!

This is blatant fucking medical misogyny and medical gaslighting everywhere you look and I’d have to be fucking knocked unconcious or given fucking laughing gas before I ever agree to do that again.

There’s even a fucking tiktok someone put on youtube where the original person was talking about offering anesthesia for pap smears, and then a fucking gynecologist comes in to say that’s stupid and useless and absurd and pretends that the only reason it can hurt is because people aren’t relaxed enough.

This is literal fucking society-wide misogynistic lying and gaslighting and it is pure fucking evil.

So pro fucking tip, for people who need to get pap smears: It can in fact hurt. Do not fucking let anyone tell you that you’re imagining it or you’re immature or you’re causing it yourself by being anxious. Do not fucking let them gaslight you and victim blame.

Pap smears can hurt, a lot, and anyone who tells you they don’t or can’t is just straight up fucking lying to your face.

So does this fucking mean I have endometriosis? Vaginismus? Some other fucking horrible thing I haven't heard of yet??? I don't fucking know! And it's gonna take three weeks to fucking find out the test results, assuming they even got to collect any of the gods damned cells in the first place!

Either fucking way, the fact that no one is allowed to talk about how this procedure can be excruciatingly painful because everyone else is just shouting at the top of their lungs that it doesn't hurt and you need to be a Big Girl™ and stop being embarrassed and go get one is fucking evil and I am fucking enraged.

(Edit again for the anon: Yes, you can reblog this, I am not embarrassed, more people need to talk about this so people can at least have some fucking warning. Feel free to copy and paste to other sites too.)

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for inviting my cousin to an LGBT meet up?

Cw: mentions of suicide and transphobia

I (18M) am a trans man and my cousin N (21F) is a lesbian who is very masc presenting. We're the only queer cousins in the family (at least in our generation) so weve always been good friends and shes been one of the biggest supporters of my transition, defended me from bigoted family members and always corrected family when they used my deadname/old pronouns. I lowkey hoped she would come out as a trans man or nonbinary as well. We dress in the same style which makes it so when were hanging out together one of us is gonna get misgendered since people asume both of us are trans men or masc girls. When N is the one being misgendered she doesnt bother fighting it since its more trouble than its worth but looking back i think it really annoyed her.

Earlier this year N was severely struggling with her mental health. I apologize for the wording i may have since i dont know the proper terminology for this stuff or any specific disorder diagnosis she may have (other than autism). She was having some sort of manic or depressive episode. She was dead set on pushing people away and making them hate her so she could take her own life without regrets.

I visited N once to give her my support during a struggling time but i stupidly told her there was nothing she could say that would push me away. She told me not to test her but i kept pushing it and i admit what happened next was my fault. She told me in a very cold voice that she was a terf, though that she didnt want me dead but that "we" (im guessing she meant trans ppl) made it so much harder for her to exist(???????). I didnt let her keep talking just and left her room, said my goodbyes to her family and just cried while driving home.

Im still not sure if she meant it or if it was part of her mental episode and just a way for her to hurt me and push me away. On one hand ig it explains some of her behavior? N sometimes complained when she got asked for her pronouns or being misgendered like I mentioned before. On the other hand, I gen do not believe she has been a terf all along esp with how supportive shes been of me. If she was a terf youd think she would try to subtly talk me out of it, but that has never happened. My friends have nicknamed her schrodinger's terf lol

Anyway, i went no contact with N for a few months for my own wellbeing. During this time i heard that she tried to kill herself a few times, which got her into a mental hospital. She was given higher doses of meds and seems to be doing way better.

We had a family reunion this week and i decided to approach her. N seemed a little hesitant to talk to me but stayed polite. I tried testing her and talked about the effects T has been having on me but she acted like she always had and congratulated me and even complimented me on how deep my voice has gotten. I wasnt satisfied cause i wanted an apology for what she had said to me so i pushed it more. She did end up apologzing but it was a very surface level apology. At this point i didnt want to keep pushing in case it set her off again so i just took her apology (plus i wanted my best cousin back) and spent the rest of the day hanging out with her.

On the way home my mom said she was happy me and N had made up and that i should invite her to the lgbt club meetings Ive been going to this year. It seemed like a good idea to me, she lost a few friends during her episode and she could make more queer friends here. If N is trans and just in denial it could help her get the resources she needs to feel comfortable coning out. If N IS a terf maybe having more positive interactions with trans ppl could change her mind on it. Overall i thought it would be a win for her.

I brought it up to my friends and some of them blew up at me. Their argument was that itd be exposing the other trans ppl in the group to a terf and putting them in danger. I truly hadnt considered this angle so im kinda conflicted now. She had never felt like an unsafe person before and now that her episode is over she feels normal again. Even if she is a terf i dont think she could actually cause harm? I want N to get better but i dont want to put my trans friends at risk.

So tumblr, WIBTA for inviting N to my lgbt meet up?

What are these acronyms?

[adelaidedrubman]

some scattered thoughts on plagiarism and sharing creative space in good faith before i turn my phone off and walk into the swamp 

so, this is a post i have avoided making for well over a year now. because i have spent well over a year minimizing, excusing, and trying to convince myself that i’m crazy and just imagining things. even more so, convincing myself that it’s worthless to talk about, because even if i talked about it, no one would particularly care, and i would only cause myself more heartbreak by officially confirming that. 

but the past few days in fandom have dredged up a lot of things for me and made me reevaluate. i’ve found immense reassurance from seeing how ready and willing everyone is to band together to keep the community safe from those entering with the intent to copy the work of others rather than creating their own. i won’t lie, seeing that unity and mobilization on my dash was at times bittersweet when it was interspersed by reblogs from someone who’d plagiarized me. 

but i also took the opportunity to move past the hurt and remember this is a community — seeing others have the courage to come forward and talk about the plagiarism they’d experienced inspired me to open up to more and more friends in private about my own experiences, and i cannot describe to you how relieving it has been to find myself validated and supported. sincerely, to everyone who has lent me an ear over the past few days, i appreciate it more than you know. i’ve been brought to tears several times, and feel like i now have the strength to talk about this. 

this is also a post i have backspaced on several time, because. well. frankly it’s difficult to even allude to the vague category of most obvious thing that was stolen from me without this amounting to a de facto callout post, which isn’t my intention so much as getting out my feelings and hopefully opening a dialogue about the lasting harm plagiarism does. 

so. i’ll just start by saying one of the most hurtful things about plagiarism is that it destroys the implicit trust that everyone is entering a creative space in good faith. most of us don’t come into fandom and oc communities preemptively guarded and ready to go looking for instances of plagiarism, and are far more likely to perceive things as incidental overlap than malicious theft even under circumstances where the latter is more likely. personally, it didn’t even initially set off alarm bells for me when i saw an oc with jestiny’s exact design plus color contacts and terf bangs also sharing prominent symbolism utilized in her story. 

my first instinct was to be welcoming and supportive in the spirit of celebrating that creative minds can find inspiration from the same sources. even as the symbolism began less and less to in any way resemble the context of said source material and more and more to resemble the version of the story i told, increasingly picking up elements that weren’t in the original but were sure as hell in my fic. in fact, i went as far as to offer resources on the source material in hopes that it would motivate the person to dig into it and find a way to make it their own, still hoping this was a case of overstepping taking inspiration at worst. 

it was after pushing my goodwill that far and giving an out only to then see another of my most well-known scenes copied down to my exact wording and pacing that i got the nerve to block. 

and i was naïve enough to think that would actually end it — hurt as i was by what had already happened, at least it was over. 

nope. 

even after blocking, i went on to see the scraps of another of my most well known scenes lazily repackaged. (i can forgive ripping off jestiny, but i draw the line at sullying poor daniel’s memory. he’s been through enough.) in fact, it continued incessantly enough that i have had multiple people independently send me screenshots of the same passage from within the past month commenting on how blatant it is. 

it should go without saying what a violation this was of my boundaries and my creative labor. every single aspect of jestiny’s story is deeply personal to me, both because of the extensive effort i have put into researching and crafting it and because of the pieces of my own experiences and emotions its founded in. 

but more than that, what sticks with me is the violation of the implicit trust and vulnerability that comes with choosing to share a creative work. i stretched my benefit of the doubt to its limits at the expense of my own mental health, i assumed good faith and tried to make space, and when i could no longer endure i quietly isolated myself rather than risk sowing discord or simply being a bummer in a fun time space. it made me no longer feel safe sharing works that were especially personal. the pain of the experience was one of the primary reason i put wildfire on indefinite publishing hiatus despite still loving the story and greatly enjoying continuing to write it in private. 

still, after the past few days and my own slow process of opening up, i am beginning to develop a renewed hope that we can act as a community and look out for each other. i still genuinely want to think we can by and large share creative space in good faith, and that people coming forward will leave us more ready to identify and deal with bad actors when they do pop up. 

and i have hope that i can heal and find ways to be open and vulnerable with my work again. that might mean soon thinking critically about how to curate my fandom experience in a way that will minimize having plagiarism thrown in my face, but for now that’s still a problem for future liz. 

for today, i just want to thank anyone who has read this far (y’all know i’m bad at shutting up). i’m still not ready to be super detailed in public, but if anyone wants to know more about the 5 ws and 1 h, you’re welcome to dm me — although i might be slow to respond right now, because i wasn’t being hyperbolic with the title. i am going to be on a camping trip in the swamp the next few days, and might not be online much. 

i am excited to have the time to unplug and reflect, and look forward to coming back recharged. until then, please know i am so thankful for all of you, from the bottom of my heart. 

[pocket-lin]

Hey!! 💕 for the fandom ask game, 5, 9 and 20? 🤩

hi!!! thank you for sending me this ask!! once again apologizing if the format for this is all janky, assume I have no clue what I'm doing 80-90% of the time!! also I found out so many of these writer's have tumblrs that I wasn't following so that was exciting!!

please note: this is all about the harry potter fandom so if you don't follow me for that, please look at my pinned post!! tldr is fuck jk and fuck terfs, I won't let her steal our joy!!

5. something I see a lot in fics and love

hmmmm... this is hard to narrow down!! so here's a few things I've been enjoying in hp fics I've read lately!

harry potter who is just so fucking earnestly in love. like, he's tripping over his feet so he can hold the door open for draco and looking at him with big heart eyes from across the pub. harry's got draco's order memorized from that takeout place he loves and he's been pining for draco for years in such an embarrassing way and all his friends are rolling their eyes and placing bets on when harry will finally make a fucking move.

adult ron weasley taking after his mother!! he makes delicious food and makes people scarves and shows his love through his actions!!

draco being absolutely rocked when he finds out that harry is queer! especially when harry is confident and completely unashamed of his sexuality. also throat goat harry

magic being tangible in some way!! like, a strong spell giving off the smell of ozone, being able to feel it in someone's hands, everyone's magic having a unique vibe.

harry as the ultimate dad. like, that dude 100% has so many complicated feelings about family and his kid(s) would be everything to him.

9. a ship that isn't your OTP but that you enjoy

I've been dipping into alllll kinds of ships lately. I love to just go look at individual ship tags on a03 and read the stuff with the highest kudos and then some of the most recent fics. I think you gotta do both to understand the ship!! here's some I've been vibing with lately (also realizing how many of these are drarry+someone else hahaha)

harry/draco is my otp BUT harry/ron and harry/ron/hermione are tied for second. that's harry's family!! they were his first friends and the first people to show him love and they literally went through war together. they know each other!! two favorite harry/ron fics of mine are Sun Kissed by @static-abyss and A tangled mess by @orange-peony! two harry/ron/hermione favorites are nineteen years later by wendydarlings and try to fix you by @maesterchill!

snarry - I was sooooo not into this in my early fandom days because so much of the ship stuff I saw was underage teacher/student stuff and that's very much not my thing. the first dip into this ship was actually through @writcraft's harry/draco/severus fic, A Life Worth Remembering, which is almost a complete subversion: Severus gets de-aged to 25 through a potions accident and has to stay with draco and harry, who are middle-aged and in an established relationship. its a gigantic change for everyone involved and the way their all find their way to each other is sooooooo good. from there I read all their snarry stuff. one of their other snarry fics I love is How We Were Warriors. I've actually been back into this ship the past few weeks and have loved On the Deficiencies of Translation Spells and old fires and phantom limbs by @liladiurne, as well as A Turn of the Page and Severus’s Story (or, A Hero’s Tale) by avioleta!

neville/harry and harry/draco/neville - I think about @kittycargo's Love to Give soooooo often. also absolutely love When it Returns by @academicdisasterfic and Touch Your Lips Just So I Know by @saxamophone!!

harry/draco/charlie - everyone go read Licurici by @lou-isfake and tell me you aren't a changed man!!!

ron/draco/harry. I can't even begin to talk about this one because we'd be here for a million years!!

20. your very first fandom!

I started doing irl fandom things for harry potter with my mom and sister when I was a little baby (I learned to read with the harry potter books!!) but my first solo (and almost exclusively online) fandom was the the teen titans!! I was obsessed with the marv wolfman and george perez comics from the 80s and completely lost my shit when they announced the teen titans animated series. that show cancellation still hurts 😭

[painfullymeta]

Warning: I'm Gonna Be Earnest Now

I am deep in my feels right at the moment so I am actually making a post of my own on this, the deep in my feels hellsite.

I am late GenX.  (Not quite what gets called Xennial IMO but definitely in what gets called the Oregon Trail (Micro)Generation.)  And for all you young whippersnappers, you have to understand "The past is a foreign country: they do things differently there.” ( - L. P. Hartley)

I am old enough to remember when AIDS was named GRID.  ("Gay-related immune deficiency.”)  I am old enough to remember ACT-UP, the Reagans’ abandonment, “If I die of AIDS just leave me on the steps of the FDA”, all those things that tired older people on tumblr try to remind people of when the TERFs come around to tell us to stop saying “queer” as if Queer Nation was a goddamn hallucination I had when I was a kid.

On the last day of high school, after the last exam, when none of us would have to ever see each other again if we so chose – that was the day that one of my friends, someone I had eaten lunch near every day since partway through freshman year, said to me “I have something to tell you.  I’m gay.”  And then he followed it up with “Is that okay?”

I hugged him.  He broke my goddamn heart and I hugged him.  "Is that okay," he asked me. Is it okay to be who I am, near you.

I was in college before I met someone who identified herself as a lesbian — and I went to a women’s college until I lost my shit and dropped out, and I expect that if I hadn’t done that I might have gone longer.

(Of course at the same time as I was clueless and not meaningfully connected with any sort of queer culture I somehow wound up with a friendgroup who, if we got bored and couldn’t come up with anything else to do, would watch the Rocky Horror Picture Show together.  This is what we did instead of going to Homecoming.)

By 2000, I was vaguely aware of trans things existing, and in fact met my first trans person while at Brighton Pride that year, though we didn’t really speak (I was there as the guest of some people in his extended social group) and I was vaguely confused and too awkward to try to do more than ‘observe and try not to fuck this up’.  I met a nonbinary person for the first time around then as well, and zie was the only one I knew of for nearly a decade.

By the mid-oughts I was with it enough to ask someone what pronouns she wanted me to use for her before sharing something about her on a message board.

(I am also old enough to have spent time on multiple message boards.  I’m old enough to resent the internet going through the world wide web instead of email and usenet actually.)

Sometime in the early oughts I guess I was at the subcommittee hearing in the Boston State House that was discussing, among other things, whether we might consider possibly condescending to allow same-sex couples to marry.  I was even going to testify!  (Please be impressed with my early twenties autistic ass I was terrified.)  There was a guy there - a senator on the committee - who was asking every person who came up if they were going to force his church to marry the gays.  Catholic, y’know, this being Massachusetts.  I revised my speech in my head to note that if we weren’t forcing the Catholic churches to marry divorcees yet he didn’t need to worry about it.

(Then my nose decided to haemhorrage all over my entire life and I couldn’t get it to stop bleeding so rather than testify while looking like an entire murder victim I went home.)

I was in my thirties when pregnancy-induced dysphoria made me start seriously thinking about my own sense of gender.

I was in my forties before I bought a binder.

I am from another fucking planet.  (The past is a foreign country.)

I know kids - multiple kids - who knew enough to identify as lesbians at an age younger than I think I knew that word.  (And I am one of those humans of freakish and unreasonable vocabulary and always have been.)

I crack jokes with one of my kids about the Queer Kids Stairs at their school, because that’s where the GSA kids hang out together after activities get out.  (While GSAs were around while I was a kid, they started in Massachusetts according to Wikipedia and that is not where I was when I was a kid, and to my best recollection I didn’t hear about them existing at all until I was an adult.)

I live in a world where my social circles include queer people of my generation, of older generations, of younger generations, and oh my gods, I look at the kids and my heart tries to explode.

My oldest knows more than one trans kid.  More than one *affirmed* trans kid.  (And we’ve talked a bit about the social dynamics that might make it more likely for the trans boys to be out than the trans girls, even now.)

And I’m writing this because of one of those trans boys, who is in the Coming of Age group at our church, and who is, apparently, in his credo, citing that thing I’ve seen on the tumblrs more than once, about how being trans means being a participant in the holy, divine process of creation, coming into being as himself.

And guys?

I’m not from the same planet as that kid.

Because I’m in my forties and I don’t even know what I’m creating.  And I’m terrified.

And here’s this kid coming out there with that as a core statement of belief that he’s prepared to stand up in front of, as the phrase goes ‘God and everyone’, to claim.

(I need to remember to talk to him about how in my Craft tradition there’s a canonically transmasc god.)

I know I’ve got at least two teenagers reading me and I just.  Y’all got this.  I know it’s hard and the world is scary and it’s fucking coming for us all but you are amazing and I am so full of inarticulate alexithymic feelings about all of you. The ones I know and the ones I don't.

We've come a long way from "Is that okay?" and you heal my broken heart.

[kiefbowl]

In response to your post about recently peaking: I think I'm still very much in the progress of getting into radical feminism, but one of the things that made me start to search it out was the huge discrepancy I noticed online with regard to how for example J.K. Rowling is treated by TRAs compared to any man ever who also has a "bad" opinion. That made me want to look up what so-called TERFs actually have to say, and I had to admit to myself that a lot of it made sense. A lot of things I felt uncomfortable about regarding gender politics and sexwork for example started falling into place as I read through more radfem blogs on tumblr. I want to use my free time this summer to read some proper feminist literature (very open for recommendations!)

I must say I feel hesitant sometimes to go further and actually peak though, because ever since I went on this journey a few months ago I've started to notice the misogyny in many places where I could ignore it before, and it scares me sometimes. I'm worried that if I become to aware the anger I feel about how women are treated will keep growing and I won't know what to do with it.

Sorry for rambling in your askbox! It felt kinda nice to write it all out once, I don't feel comfortable yet discussing all these thoughts with the people in my life unfortunately

Anger can be a very productive emotion if you're willing. I've been watching a youtuber who does recaps of SisterWives, and she said something in one of her videos recently that I agree with but never heard it articulated this way. I'm paraphrasing but: Emotions are like our five senses, they're there to give us information. Then, you have to process that information and decide how to act on it.

The example she gave is if you see someone far away that looks like your friend, but you're not sure - your eyes gave you information, but you have to go look closer to investigate to see if it's really them. If you feel angry, you have to investigate and take some time exploring why, and to what extent, and what you're willing to do about it.

Maybe you've never had anyone say this to you plainly but: I don't see my ideologies as an identity. I don't see my social identities as extensions of my virtue. I'm not afraid to get angry because if I'm angry it's probably something worth getting angry about. As with sadness, or happiness.

Misogyny is scary, but life has many facets, and truth is a worthwhile pursuit. I can't imagine my life another way because I can only be living this life as me, and like every life, it's full of complexities. I'm subjugated, I'm privileged, I'm a good person who has made bad choices, I'm a smart person who can be obtuse, I've been poor but never the poorest, I come from grandfathers who fought in wars and grandmothers who raised children in a bad religion yet they are all so deeply in my heart, and I've had to weigh my values against self serving decisions time and time again to get some of the comforts I have now. I have to live in the world now, and I'd rather live with open eyes despite any pain, because otherwise I miss out on joy. This is my only chance of joy, so I'm taking it. I will never turn my back on knowledge lest I leave joy on the table. Maybe one day, you'll see what I mean. Good luck sis! Thanks for sharing :)

[xxx-sir-pentious-xxx]

Pentious fucking wrecks the Vs[title pending]

Absolutely funny and cool and badass, totally not written by pentious lol, angel dust is sneaky.

Angel dust made one joke, resulting in the fight being stopped and Cherri being forced to let the battle go, especially since Sir Pentious would leave her terf alone permanently. Only for his son would he do this.

The trick went so far that Pentious actually got to the hotel before the opportunist Alastor.

Due to the fight being stopped in such a sweet manner the news report went may smoother. Peoples opinions shifted, maybe the hotel was reforming Angel Dust, I mean really hes reuniting with his father.

All was going so well, Pentious was funding the hotel and manning it with security. Angel had to rein his emotions a few times but eventually he was warming up to the crew, he was getting protective of them. They were like his eggies, precious and fragile.

It was the moment Angel mentioned his soul contract and abuse that Sir Pentious snapped a bit and hugged Angel close,

"My sssweet son... I'll fix thiss. Dont you worry your precious little head..."

And like that he began crafting with angelic steel. It was intense, the look on his face when he was eating with his crew, his family. Within two days he was ready. He showed off the look of it to angel who was honestly freaked out.

"Hey uh.. Dad ya arent gonna... you wont actually do it right?.. it's dangerous you might get hurt..."

Angel had actually gotten pretty fond of his 'dad', his confidence scared him as he got hugged and watched Pentious go to slaughter the V's like a assassin.

He played it cool.

Then as soon as someone made a fuss he threatened and made it clear what hes there for, it took a simple look of the weapon to make anyone crack.

To be honest most kept it easy, some gladly guided him, hell they begged him to do it.

It felt so good to meet the V's all together and the be seen as a real threat. Vox tried to do something but Pentious had frequency jammers. He got loud at Pentious calling his bluff, which only resulted in a chest shot,

"IM NOT FUCKING AROUND. YOU WILL TAKE ME FUCKING SERIOUSLY, IM GONNA FUCKING KILL EACH ONE OF YOU."

Val couldnt fly, not good but he tried, it only lead to his wings being blown off and most of his back.

Velvette got the idea to call for help but got told shes shit outta luck, they wanted to be free. Her head was quickly blown off.

Pentious slithered to the dying Val who's completely in shock.

"I wanted sssome of your fluff."

The sound of a blade was heard and next thing anyone knew he had his head. Then a feeling washed over Pentious.

"I... I won. I WON. Oh I'm sssso happy!"

He turned off the jammer and the cameras showed the scene to the masses after a few minutes. A employee probably wanted to see what had happened completely forgetting to not broadcast it. Or did they?

The masses saw the mess, they saw Pentious laughing about it, Vals head in hand,

"I MURDERED THE V'sss IM THE SsECOND GREATEST OVERLORD EVER!!! I DONT NEED TO PRETEND TO BE THREATENING ANYMORE!!"

He could finally relax his worries, no more dangers now to him, only peace.

What he didn't consider was how the people seemed to flock around him, worshipping him almost, yeah he owned them now but he expected.. what? He wasnt sure really.

He appointed the workers, his new underlings to just do whatever felt right. Broadcast what they like, make whatever. Oh and he made sure to make the bank accounts and funds of the V's his own. That way he can afford and handle these things.

He felt so... powerful. He was like a king.

"King Cobra sssoundsss good... yeah, king cobra! Hass a ring to it..."

People could finally think again, no more tv hypnosis, no more pain from unwanted sex or being stabbed with needles. Sir Pentious was a hero to them.

Alastor felt a bit threatened and tried to talk to him when he assumed it right but didnt account for the fact he scared the snake and was quickly dead too.

"Oopsss! Oh hehe, well who's gonna care.. no one will know! This meansss I own his soulsss too now... FUCK YEAH IM AWESssOME!!"

He slithered along into the hotel glad to be home, feeling cocky as fuck. He made sure he put the safety on the canon gun and turned it off to avoid another accidental murder.

His family and crew was small he felt. He gave his new power a try, spawning Nifty and Husk and eagerly telling them their new roles and that they really couldn't back out but he wasnt gonna beat them if they were gonna be stubborn. Everyone watched him giggle and play with his powers outside,

"Aw yesss, I'm so powerful!! No drawbacks!"

He was a good leader really, he can do it all. He will do it all. He noted his looked bigger too, more filled out, tail bigger. He could hug his new family with this tail! He had to stim a little and decided it was safe to slowly let loose some power into the air making everything glittery. He couldnt sleep, he was much too energized and high off it all.

Angel dust had to really take in the fact that he started this. Wasnt bad feeling actually. Felt great, he could feel it too. Felt warm and fun. Felt like child to father love.

[daughter-of-sapph0]

i feel fucking sick.

I said I was never gonna use tiktok again. but I went and looked at my video that I uploaded explaining that the hairy potty game was blood libel and extremely antisemitic, and there were fifteen comments all saying "wow I'm buying 10 copies!" "good! she's getting all my money!" "I wish it was real, and it was you in the game [antisemitic slur]"

I literally do not understand how people can be so vile and hateful and evil?

how can you hear someone say "hey, this game literally perpetuates myths that people used to enact genocide against my people" and respond with "good! I love the game even more now"

it's not even "I'm playing this game despite what my Jewish friends say" anymore. because if you play this game, you don't have any Jewish friends. it's "I'm playing this game because I hate Jews".

tiktok seriously gives people brain rot. they can say the most racist homophobic transphobic antisemitic Islamophobic bigoted vile evil genocidal shit imaginable, and face absolutely no consequences at all

but when Black creators dare to say that racism is bad, they get hundreds of racist comments and then are mass reported and banned. when queer content creators literally just exist, they get called pedophiles and suicide baited and doxxed by far right terrorists. when Jewish creators beg and plead you not to spread antisemitic ideologies, they face literal death threats and calls for genocide.

and the people who spread this bullshit literally face zero consequences. the whole system is rigged against marginalized groups. you know how people discovered that there was a terf on tumblr staff and that was why terfs are so hard to get rid of on this site? well tiktok is a thousand times worse. the entire company behind tiktok moderation must be just white supremacists. that's really the only explanation I have for this shit

these people, some of them as young as thirteen, are commenting the most vile, gross, disgusting, horrific, repulsive, evil things imaginable. and they get away with it. it just festers in this little bubble where they can say all this vile shit without fear of backlash.

not to sound like a piece of shit boomer, but I genuinely think that the latest generation is fucking ruined by social media. they're able to say whatever they hell they want. a constant stream of racist lies and nazi propaganda is fed directly into their brains. and the only consequences they'll ever face, if any, is getting comment blocked for a few days.

tiktok is not a social media website. it's an algorithm specifically designed to make as many teenagers into nazis as possible.

i just feel disgusted right now. i don't understand how people can hate other people so much

[sapphsorrows]

hiding in anon

the more I look and research and read from radfem accounts the more I realize just how wrong a lot of things that are said are

wont say much more for youre doing the work of a champion

thank you <3

it takes a lot of courage to admit you were wrong.

especially for me! i know i can be quite rude/blunt on this blog. i like to think of this blog as a kind of like a radfem blog version of "the atheist experience." it is/was an atheist public access talk show in texas that aired on sundays, and 99% of the callers were christians calling to complain about the show existing or calling to tell the hosts they were wrong and going to hell, and sometimes they'd even get callers that genuinely wanted to talk and learn. i think one of the hosts said something along the lines of "i'm not trying to change the minds of the callers. they probably won't change their minds. i'm trying to change the minds of christians who might be watching." that's what i'm trying to do here. me explaining my position to someone calling me a nazi or a terf won't change their mind, but it might change the mind of someone who has started hate-reading my blog.

that's kind of how i started in the radfem field - by hatereading blogs! i went to the gender critical/terf tag to have a laugh. i have habit of looking up bizarre tags on tumblr to have a laugh, think stuff like #syscourse and #kinphobia and all other kinds of strange discourses you can only find on tumblr. i actually found this one blog (it was kronkk haha) that i would check for like 5 or so days straight just to see what she had to say. at first i was appalled. she was so blunt! she even misgendered blaire white, who i was a huge fan of at the time and thought was on the side of gc people. i couldn't look away for some reason, even though i disagreed. but idk... something just started to click for me. and i was like wait a minute... this whole trans thing. it actually makes no goddamn sense. i don't know how to describe it, but it was like a bubble popped in my mind. it literally burst my bubble. and i was like, what do i even do with this newfound knowledge? no one on my main will listen to me. they'd unfollow and blacklist me. so i made this blog as a space to vent my feelings.

anyway idk why i'm telling you all this. i just wanted you to know i was in your shoes once, and you're not alone!

[frogofalltime]

16.02.2024

i woke up late after having many nightmares. i was sick but i forced myself to get up around 11am. i was also in pain again but it was okay. i decided not to shower. i ate some breakfast and got dressed and went out to spend time with my friends.

i was more than half an hour late but it was okay, we didn't really have any plans. i ate my lunch which i had left in the fridge from the day before, played super auto pets with my friends, played in the basement, etc

i was trying to take photos of my friend for a project they are working on and we ended up just messing around. they took a photo of me from their height which was really funny. i looked like a tiny old man. also we were both wearing very similar jumpers, this happens quite regularly in our friend group (i'm on the left and my friend is on the right)

then i went to the park to walk around and feed the birds with @wiggles-mcgee, i don't think our flock was as hungry as usual though because they had probably already eaten a lot today due to a lot of people going to the park in the nice weather. it was really cold but lucy gave me their hoodie which was extremely appreciated and warm and gay. and we also saw some blossom, which means spring is coming !!

then we had a house meeting which i decided to attend because i was involved in the situation it was about. i was worried it was going to get really angry and unproductive but i think it went okay.

after that @etherealspacejelly showed me a bajillion pictures of his cat and then made dinner for us both which was really nice, i think cooking my safe foods for me is the key to my heart lol

we stayed up chatting until like 11pm. at one point i felt myself getting upset due to being proven ignorant of basic common knowledge again (this is an almost daily binya occurrence) but i laughed about it and it was okay. i was very tired and it made me feel kind of insane. at one point robin made a joke, i don't even remember what it said, but i couldn't stop laughing for ages and my stomach and chest were really hurting (in a good way)

oh yea also during the house meeting people thought it would be funny for me to wear this legal observer vest to like. be a neutral party in the situation. but then my friend said i looked like bob the builder so she took this photo and sent it to the group chat with the caption "binya the builder" lmao

finally i went home and procrastinated going to bed. on the way home some guy said "nice checkered shirt dude" to me and it made me so happy !! gender euphoria is truly the best feeling in the world and i am overjoyed every time this happens.

i debated taking a shower but i was too tired. when i was finally in bed i made the mistake of checking my phone and i ended up having a really bizarre conversation with someone i used to go to school with like 10 years ago. she messaged me out of the blue and started asking me questions about gender and religion and basically trying to make me question everything because it is all cultural and not the truth ?? honestly i don't really know what she was talking about but it really felt like she was trying to get me to open up to her so she could change my mind with terf arguments. idk. it was really strange.

in the end i just had to say "i'm really sorry but it's 3:30am please can i go to sleep" because i could Not keep my eyes open and i was just so confused. i eventually got to sleep after that, but yea that was Extremely Weird.

i don't have any conclusions just that i am very tired but it was overall a pretty interesting day !

[the-trans-folk-witch]

A not so kind rebuttal to my interview with Dazed Beauty Magazine. Trans witches were wronged.

First, some quotes from friends, and strangers turned friends on the matter:

“PLEASE!!! Florence! I think everyone needs to read something of substance around this. The banal saturation is fucking mind numbing.”- Samanthareadsgood

“Think about yourself and don’t be worrying about hurting other people feelings because she’s not considering you… And look at it coldly…She interviewed you for something which you consented to and then she did something else. That’s not okay.” -René ( victim Former friend of the author Isabella AKA sister_bella on Instagram.)

And last but not least, “IM SCREAMING. STOP 4RrEAL!?” Austin of banexbramble on Instagram. Typos intentional and copied.

The article in question- (I hate to give it traffic but context…) https://www.dazeddigital.com/beauty/article/59809/1/why-trans-people-are-finding-power-and-place-in-witchcraft

The story-

Awhile back I was randomly messaged by an Instagram page run by a writer for dazed beauty. She expressed that she was writing an article on transgender witches and wanted to interview me. But it needed to be done that night. I did not see the message until a few days later. It seemed sketchy but as a fan of the magazine I took the bait. The woman seemed nice enough and I enjoyed the idea of transness being represented in witchcraft conversations. She had her due date extended.

She asked several questions which I thought were very well crafted. I formulated my replies to her via text and spent a total of two hours chatting with her on the subject. There were paragraphs of content to write on. I was very proud of my work. I was ready to discuss the history of trans people as learned in college through my gender studies courses. I wanted to discuss the GallI of Greece, the Gala of Sumer, the two spirit and other indigenous titles for third/alt genders- my fav being the Hijra of India. I wanted to discuss the transness of the Ethiopian eunuch in the Bible… not Joan of arc… I didn’t mention her. But none of that was of interest clearly. The History was too in-depth to write on for this magazine probably. Word counts and all…

I was lead to believe that this informal and rushed interview was going to be in a interview-to-text- format. I assumed it would be stylized with a question from the writer in bold, and a long winded response from me below it. Like how celebrities are interviewed haha. But girl was I wrong…

Not only was the entirety of the article kept from me post interview, but only one small paragraph was shown to me from our entire conversation. I assumed there was more… there was not. My time and words wasted for a misquote. One sentence of mine made it to the article. And it was not even worded properly. it’s context was stripped. I was explaining how in traditional witchcraft, witches are seen as “other”. Not in a other-kin way, but in a transformative way via gnosis. I went on to describe my feelings of dysphoria and it’s overlap with my spiritual beliefs. But all she heard was “Florence thinks being trans is inhuman and I’m going to word this in a sloppy way to validate TERF’s and their dehumanization of tranniez.”…

On top of this money grabbing terf ridden article, there were loads of TERFy comments making fun of the lack of sources, proper historical legitimacy, and me.

To make matters worse better, i was not tagged in the article advertisement on Instagram. This both angered me and relieved me. My name was not caught up in this shit. But my time was not being recognized. Instead, the more famous, more appreciated interviewed were highlighted. And there is no telling if their logic was sound. I was not aware of their interviews. Judging from their Instagram content, I’m sure they are less informed on true magic or history… if you read this article, I’m sure you saw the portion comparing Joan of arc to trans men. I would like to say the writer of the article completely fabricated that herself. But who knows what other shit people are spewing.

When I heard of this article, I thought a cis woman was highlighting the experiences of trans people by giving us a platform. This is something I gladly allow! But instead, she was taking the crumbs of our words and using them for woke points and click bait. It was a poorly formed article with no real point. It was a mishmash of words speaking loosely of an issue that is already difficult to describe. It allowed space for terf’s and non witches alike to give their shitty opinions. And the writer??? Nowhere to be seen. Dazed beauty? No reply or combat against the ever-flowing comments. It’s as if this entire article was a ruse to make us all look stupid.

So now that I’ve got that out of the way, let’s talk about the author and her personal life. When she approached me she seemed nice. I genuinely thought I had a shot at maybe being represented in a magazine I like. She was willing to offer me that. But little did I know, she had sketchy occult business practices of her own. This woman has titled herself a “priestess, sorceress, spell caster” and other trigger words to make her look powerful. Other than aesthetics, she has no real grab on a magical tradition. I was informed of her moving to Mexico and hosting “full moon rituals” of some ambiguous type. At these rituals she was charging people 300 MXN twice a month on full and dark moons with no explanation of what would take place there. People were somewhat pressured into discussing sexual trauma, and others believed it was a safe space to share things. However, it was cult-like psychology at play. There was no real therapy practices implemented. It was just an unqualified woman just crying to strangers and making them pay her since it was cheaper than real therapy. It was not sound. It was not ethical.

People tried leaving. To which she would send many many messages to those people as if they were friends. She was trying to make people feel guilty for not coming to her “rituals” that cost money. It was treated as betrayal to her…

Anyway, all of that mess aside, let’s show some actual sources to discuss the history of Trans people. I have said this many times before and I hope I don’t sound like a brag, but I have 2 degrees in sociology at escalating levels. I actually am hoping to write a text book in collaboration with my university next year on similar subjects. Here are some texts I read in my gender studies classes and plan to cite in future works. Please please consider these texts. I do not want to waste my time explaining what’s already been beautifully written by others. Especially for FREE on TUMBLR.

-Histories of the Transgender Child by Jules Gill-Peterson

-Sexing the body: Gender politics and the construction of sexuality by Dr. Anne Fausto-Sterling

-Brain Storm: The Flaws in the Science of Sex Differences. By Dr. Rebecca Jordan-Young

-Measuring Manhood: Race and the Science of Masculinity by Dr. Melissa N. Stein

-Sexual Science: The Victorian Construction of Womanhood by Dr. Cynthia Russet.

As for trans people’s place in occult spaces or religion, I highly recommend reading the following links and titles. [It’s also important to note here that the Joan of arc mess in the original article, could have been replaced with the Ethiopian eunuch of the Bible… “but no. Cis girl brain go brrrrr. Must pick popular feminist figure and make up a history”]

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6830999

The Soul of the Stranger: Reading God and Torah from a Transgender Perspective. Chicago, Illinois: The University of Chicago Press.

A Comparative Analysis of Hijras and Drag Queens: The Subversive Possibilities and Limits of Parading Effeminacy and Negotiating Masculinity." Ed. Stephen Hunt, Religions of the East. Surrey: Ashgate, 2010.

The Invisibles: A Tale of the Eunuchs of India.

Islamic Homosexualities: Culture, History, and Literature (for Sumerian trans priests)

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gala_(priests)#:~:text=The%20Gala%20(Sumerian%3A%20%F0%92%8D%91%F0%92%86%AA%20gala,institutions%20of%20Mesopotamian%20city%20states.

Thank you. That is all.

[inazuma-fulgur]

In pain whenever someone insists that being naked around children, like in general, is bad

No cloths = pedo (this here is slightly exaggerated but some people actually say that. With words.)

Because nakes = sexual and sexual = bad and impure and children = pure and innocent and without agency

Waiting for the day where changing your childs diaper also becomes sexual and pedo unless *insert arbitrary metric*. If I had to imagine it'd probably be more terf shit, a la all men are horny monsters or only parents of the same SEX as the child should be allowed to.

I will nopt discuss further complications around childbirth because none of this makes sense anyway

I find it especially jarring when other queer people make arguments like that.

Like, y'all can't look at other people and be normal about it. It's not weird to be naked, you are weird for being unable to confront nudity without having secondary thoughts about it. You are the one uncomfortable with it so no one else is allowed to be comfortable with it?

Thinking about FKK (something I don't even know an english term for. Mom told me she and her parents often went to fkk places, because older people still found nudity more normal than we do I'd guess. Maybe they were an outlier but I can't shake the feeling that the younger people get the weirder and less tolerant they get of nudity and other peoples bodies.)

Every year when there's kink at pride discourse I can't help but think about how I wouldn't give two shits about people fucking in public, like it wouldn't be any more annoying that people blasting music and being loud, that's it. It definitely wouldn't smell as bad as some other stuff, like fireworks for example.

I also can't help but think about one of my friends from school who very amused told an anecdote where she went into her parents room while they were having sex when she was a little kid. Shocker, nothing happened to her. Plain seeing sex doesn't hurt, unless you already have been traumatized or smth. Also most of these super weird puritanical ideas only work under the assumption that children have the very same understanding of everything us adults do. Which they don't. How could they, they're learning everything about the world still. Explain it to them so that they can keep themselves safe, you'll have to do it regardless some day.

Go listen to what they're curious about, teach them at the pace they want, answer what they ask.

Because even if I say they don't have the same understanding of things us adults do, that doesn't mean children aren't smart and capable of understanding the bigger world, expanding their horizon.

People like that, in my opinion, just hate children.

Want to control them. Mold them into copies of themselves, perfect what they feel isn't perfect about themselves.

That's not how you treat another person, give kids agency and let them explore stuff. Let children be curious and nosy.

Teach them about consent, because consent isn't just sexual.

Teach them general things that are useful and good.

Teach them about their bodies and signs to look out for, built trust so that when they hit puberty and their needs and experiences change they will talk to you, ask and share what they feel and see. And then expand their horizons more

Please never raise children with preset ideas of how a well raised child has to turn out, with ideas of a fixed process with a fixed result, where certain things are off limits and shouldn't be allowed because they could lead to people growing up who don't fit your personal ideal(s).

Diversity of thought does not mean "diversity until I can't personally understand/relate anymore, beyond that it's evil". The only evil thing is you limiting the beauty and vastness of humanity

Children won't ever fit into your preconceived notions and that's a good thing, we're constantly learning and ideas are changing, and I'm not blaming you for growing older and having bigger more pressing worries and growing out of touch a bit, just don't denie others because of that.

The only way for children around you to be exactly like you is for them to grow up under the exact same conditions as you. But the world around you is changing constantly, even if you feel like YOU are a constant I assure you, you aren't.

Not even siblings or even even twins have that work out for them. Everyone makes different experiences, spends their time differently, cares about different shit. For better and for worse.

Embrace the potential for the worse, because it will lead to the better future you dream of.

If bad ideas are off limits and can't be talked about those ideas can't be challenged.

And if new ideas can't be brought forth nothing better can come into existence.

Yes new ideas will be not just good, there are bad ones. But that's why we discuss and make an effort, that's why we try things to see whether they work or fail.

We can't create the perfect world through logic in our heads and then execute it. Because humans aren't rational, logic is kinda fake even if it isn't, embrace that. Failure is human, failure leads to growth.

Many good things came from experimentation and theory but also from testing and trial and error, brute forcing stuff. Taking what works and optimizing it. Taking what didn't work and tweaking it slightly or taking notes on what has to be avoided in the future.

I love humans, I am human

I wish we would all stop dehumanizing each other constantly

[rakassauce]

welcome, and howdy!!!

yo, I'm raka. an artist who adores the scene subculture, anime/cartoons, and the old internet. been a while since i did an intro, and I don't particularly enjoy my current one. so, i thought i'd fix that!

but before i get into it, lemme begin with some ground rules:

DNI if you are/support ANY of the following:

a proshipper/comshipper

a terf/truscum/transmed/transphobic in any way

anti-palestine (however, that doesn't give you the right to be an anti-semite, that shit ain't cool)

Are a pro-lifer, this is a pro-choice zone babie

anti-neopronouns

ableist

a MAP/YAP, get that pedo shit outta here

a neo-nazi/on some type of white supremecist shit

a zoophile

...they gone now? yeah? cool, let's rock n' roll. (quick heads up for flashing blinkies/images, and eyestrain. that's gonna be a constant on this blog.)

name: raka/alex/izzy

age: 16, turning 17 on JULY 14TH!!!

DOB: 07/14/2007

pronouns: she/he/they

current hyperfixation: YU-GI-OH!!!!

favorite color: hot pink/red/neon green

favorite song: party like a millionaire - millionaires/i also like genres like rock, electronic, and pop

favorite games: sims (4 and 3), touhou project, legend of zelda

hobbies: scouring the internet, watching anime, drawing, spending time w/ my bf

favorite food: menudo!! my nanny (that's what I call my grandma ^^;) makes it for me occasionally and on my bday nearly every year

dislikes: assholes, unnecessary internet discourse, instagram comments, my horrible sleep schedule (help lol)

favorite movie(s): yugioh the movie: pyramid of light, bill and ted's excellent adventure, idle hands

likes: the night, old internet vibes, art, magical girls (SAILOR MOON), scene kid stuff

loves: my dad and my boyfriend!!!

rando facts: i'm half mexican :] i wanna learn more spanish to be in touch with my mom's side of the family. i've only ever finished one anime despite starting a few, and that would be Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood. even though i'm on ep 27 of the 2003 version of FMA (it's on hold since it isn't my current fixation), i honestly prefer it. my favorite vocaloids are hatsune miku and kagamine rin and len)! now if we're talking utauloids: yokune ruko and kasane teto.

my tags:

#raka's sauce (my art)

#other people's awesome sauce (reblogged art)

#raka reblogs!

#raka's brain dump

#raka's cc finds!!

so, i'm raka. i've lurked around the internet for a little while now--since I was about five. restricted internet access? don't know her. i only started really participating in online communities when i was about 10, on quotev and amino (rip, it was a shitshow but i had a good time for the most part). at some point i just kinda...fell off of trying to find internet spaces? it didn't really feel fun anymore, y'know? i went back to lurking, looking at stuff i enjoyed/making things in silence.

well, fuck that. if i wanna have fun, i'm gonna make it fun. i love drawing, i always have!! i've been drawing since i was about five or six. it's always been an escape for me during REALLY rough times--it made me happy to draw my favorite characters, and even create my own! i love interacting with fandom spaces too, finding folks who are into the same stuff i am. connecting with strangers is fun, when you don't really know anybody irl who shares your exact interests!

i wanna make/reblog fandom art on here, and maybe make moots/friends. i also have OCs i love and adore that i'd like to share--with lore, of course.

i hope y'all have a wonderful day or night!!! take care of yourselves!!!

with all that said, blinkie/stamp dump time!!! a further insight of myself, if you will

sources for a few stamps:

Mel-Rosey on Deviantart

StarriiChan on Deviantart

kas7ia on Deviantart

blinkies.cafe for blinkies

YukiMiyasawa on Deviantart | another stamp from them

hissatsugirl on Deviantart

Papikari on Deviantart

Magica-28 on Deviantart

RaptureCyner on Deviantart

and feel free to hmu on other things such as:

discord - rakassauce

artfight

spacehey (i need to finish up my profile :/ sorry for mess)

instagram