#some darkstar politics in here

[compacflt]

wip wednesday: made a HUGE amount of progress this week (for context—purple is unfinished & yellow is finished; last week all of them were purple) … i am in the home stretch here

[bonefall]

wait, two children? leopardpelt had a sibling??

Yeah! Carpwhisker isn't SUPER important, but she is here now.

[ID: An anxious looking, brown, spotted cat with a white belly and green eyes.]

She is a kit save because I needed her genetics around for the RiverClan Family Tree, she is the mother of Duskfur, Voletooth, and an apprentice who dies during TNP, Splashpaw.

But most importantly, she was added because I'm telling a very different story with Leopardfur. I am very frustrated by how canon decided that a large motivating part of her villain arc is... being spoiled by her dad for being an only child with a dead mom.

So there's been some real big changes to Leopard's family.

Brightsky isn't dead. She left to become a kittypet, but gave half of her litter to Mudfur.

Brightsky and Mudfur used to be very united in their criticism of Clan culture, and the path it was taking. Brightsky decided that there was no fixing it, and it was better to get away from it completely.

She begged Mudfur to come too... but he couldn't. He couldn't leave his life and legacy behind. But he asked to keep his children-- no one knows what happens to kittypet kittens when they become too old.

She wanted at least two of them to have a peaceful life. Water and Oat stayed with her. Leopard and Carp went home.

Carp was probably sent back, in particular, because she has a family resemblance to her famous ancestor Volestar. Successor of Darkstar, creator of the Queen's Rights.

And on that note, only Hailstar was told the truth about Brightsky. Him and Mudfur agreed that the official story would always be that Brightsky had died trying to escape kittypets, but that Mudfur had been able to save his kittens.

If Mudfur had known what would happen to Leopardkit, if he could glimpse into the monster that she would become, he would have left both of them there, in that warm nest beside their mother.

Carpwhisker is not an ambitious person, and honestly a bit of a coward. She's easily walked over and on the quiet side, not the sort of person who will jump to the defense of a friend, even if she wants to. She used to like Aftergatherings, but stopped when Leopardfur told her it made her look disloyal.

She helps out in the nursery, and is one of the reliable members of the Construction Patrol. Her political profile leans heavily towards Fire Alone, but she was not trusted to be a TigerClan rebel because it was known she was rather meek.

What DID she do during TigerClan? Well, actually, it was HER idea to create a mud facade so the Bonehill wouldn't be solid bone, and reduce their workload by a lot!! And then Tigerstar decided it was his idea. ah.

[the-hard-deck]

IceMav Fic Recs: 15k+ Fics

If you've got a craving for a longer IceMav fic, try out one of the fics below: Dreams of Impact by thecarlysutra [19.8k, M]

Maverick's trip in Darkstar takes him further than he ever imagined possible.

Reccer's Notes: Lovely exploration of the IceMav relationship via a sadly under-used plot device in the fandom.

Indian Ocean. Present Day. by tryfanstone [16.4k, M]

Isolated on an aircraft carrier in the middle of the Indian Ocean, cut off from any source of information about the global political and environmental disaster which has engulfed the planet, Maverick and Goose struggle to make sense of an increasingly claustrophobic command structure and failing resources on board. When a refugee helicopter is spotted approaching the carrier, its pilot could be the catalyst for an explosive re-evaluation....

Reccer's Notes: IceMav over an intriguing background - the plot kept me on the edge of my seat while reading.

Kings of the Air by FabulaRasa [24.9k, M]

Fighting and fucking: two things he did extraordinarily well. How could he have known what the effect would be when you combined the two?

Reccer's Notes: Kings of the Air is a must-read fandom classic, and a great fic about how Ice and Maverick's relationship may have gone if they'd both taught at TOPGUN after the first movie. Note that the fic is archive-locked and you must be logged in to an Archive of Our Own account to read.

Lead Me On (To The Other Side) by boasamishipper [19k, T]

Goose talked to him most nights. His choice of conversation was normal — movies he’d seen, music he liked, stories about his wife and son — and sometimes Ice almost forgot that Goose was dead at all.

Reccer's Notes: A terrific Ice POV fic that delivers on its premise: What if Ice starts seeing Goose's ghost? It also has sequels, for your further reading pleasure.

Make A Wrong One Right by boasamishipper [18.8k, T]

Terrified, Maverick grabs the newspaper off the doorstop and tears the thread off, tearing it open. There’s a story about the nuclear reactor that exploded in Ukraine in April, and another about the death of Ted Lyons. Ronald Reagan is the president of the United States, the Cubs beat the Dodgers last night 9-4, and Aliens is the number one movie in America. The newspaper is the San Diego Union. The date is July 26, 1986. Maverick clamps a hand over his mouth and barely makes it back in the house in time to fall to his knees and vomit into the toilet. - Maverick makes a wish and wakes up thirty years in the past. He reacts accordingly.

Reccer's Notes: The time-travel fix-it is a time-tested plot, and boasamishipper uses it to great effect here to explore how an older Maverick might react to being catapulted back to a time when Goose is still alive.

May by leoandsnake [33k, M, also on FF.net here]

Twelve years into the future, Maverick's marriage to Charlie is dissolving, his relationship with his son is strained, and he has to cope with Iceman returning from a decade-long tour of duty to teach alongside him at Top Gun Academy.

Reccer's Notes: May is a bittersweet fic - Ice and Maverick's relationship is complex and formed by events occurring during their time apart. A unique take on their relationship within Top Gun fic.

The Next Step by thedevilchicken [21k, E]

When he takes a job as an instructor, Maverick has issues to deal with. Ice shouldn't be the one to help him.

Reccer's Notes: Another classic 'what if Ice and Maverick both taught at Top Gun post-movie.'

time = distance + speed by omnidirectional [25.2k, T]

Maverick hasn’t seen Iceman in years. But inevitably, they always cross paths again sooner or later. Five (plus one) potential timelines in which Maverick meets Iceman again 35 years later; some more on the comical side, others less so. Or, a pre-emptive strike: Six scenarios I’d prefer to see than whatever the actual sequel turns out to be. (If it ever comes out.) Reccer's Notes: Written right before Top Gun: Maverick came out, this fic is a great 5 + 1 that's funny and emotional in turns. All the different scenarios are fascinating and great to read about.

When We Get Around to Talking About It by COMPACFLT [69.5k, M]

Goose has been dead for a week and a half when Iceman loses his first wingman in a dogfight with six Soviet MiGs over the Sea of Okhotsk. Goose has been dead for thirty years when Iceman loses his second wingman to a surface-to-air missile on the tail-end of a mission he's responsible for: he's sent his family on a suicide mission to destroy a uranium enrichment facility in Siberia. This is the story of those thirty years in the middle. (Or: Tom Kazansky rises through the ranks while trying to stay a good man. If he ever was one to begin with.) Reccer's Notes: Written post Top Gun: Maverick and taking its story into account, this fic is a nice look into Ice's PoV as he goes through the years between movies. You can tell the author put a lot of thought, time, and research into the fic. It also has additional stories in the series for further reading.

[dawngen]

"How are you holding up, Suntuft?"

Lifting her head from her nest and the kits nestled against her belly, Suntuft greeted Butterflyfur's approach with a weary smile.

"Better than others."

The last few sun cycles had been absolute madness. From the birth of Brightstorm's kits and her own, to the discovery that they were Eagleburn's, and then, the cruel death of Bayspots at the claws of Eagleburn and the current debate of whether or not it could be considered self-defense with no witnesses...

She tilted her head, peering out beyond the nursery. As she suspected, once her eyes adjusted to the sharp, leaf-bare morning light, Brightstorm was still laying outside of the warriors' den. It seemed her adult kits still did not feel ready to accept her comfort. Sandfeather had refused to speak to her at all, and while Frostspots and Sparrowshadow had been more forgiving, they were focused, understandably, first on Sandfeather's recovery.

It was only a day after Bayspots's vigil, and unfortunately, she didn't anticipate there to be much of a change in Sandfeather so soon.

"Figured you might want some breakfast."

Setting down a small, thin sparrow in front of Suntuft, the queen gave Butterflyfur an appreciative glance.

"Thank you, Butterflyfur. How are you doing?"

While they had never been particularly close, Butterflyfur and her siblings had been brought to the clan by Slatespots about the same time as she and Brightstorm had been brought by their deceased kittypet mother.

Not only that, although she hadn't thought much of it, but Butterflyfur was also one of Eagleburn's siblings. Grayfade, their other sibling, had buried herself in her medicine cat work to avoid the sight of Eagleburn in his temporary prison. Her gaze softened with sympathy, feeling bad for not checking in with the she-cat sooner.

"This must be hard on you, especially since..."

Slatespots and Creekberry had died some moons ago, and the absence of support for their kits surely must be felt. She knew she often yearned for Boulderfrost's guidance.

"It's okay," Butterflyfur interjected. "I know everything is going to be fine. Eagleburn wouldn't have done it if he didn't absolutely have to--he wouldn't betray the clan like that. But I'm still sorry it all happened."

Ears twitching, Suntuft did not know how to feel about such a statement. She and Bayspots hadn't been close, but, wasn't it a little cold to dismiss her death like that?

She could only manage to nod, looking back to the kits when one began to mewl, nudged away from her warm belly by one of the others.

Leaning over to push the kit back into place, Suntuft listened as Butterflyfur awkwardly cleared her throat.

"I just wanted to say, Suntuft, before I go--if you need any company, I'm here for you."

Suntuft paused, and peered back.

While words alone implied nothing short of an innocent offer, the hopeful, soft shine to Butterflyfur's eyes was one she recognized. She had seen it in how Brightstorm sneakily watched Eagleburn, and how she had looked at Bayspots early in their relationship. Even could she vaguely recall how Boulderfrost would occasionally look at Darkstar with similar eyes, though nothing came of it.

"... That is very kind of you, Butterflyfur, but I think I'll be fine. You should check on Grayfade."

Kind, but polite, she watched as Butterflyfur's face dropped, though if one blinked, they would have missed it. She recovered swiftly and bowed her head courteously.

"You're right--thank you for thinking about my family when yours is suffering even more."

"DawnClan is just one big family, isn't it? You're like a sibling to me, Butterflyfur."

Butterflyfur tensed, then managed a stiff smile.

"Thank you, Suntuft. I'll let you get some rest."

Carefully leaving the den, Butterflyfur made her way to the medicine cats' den while Suntuft watched after her, curious.

They never had been particularly close--where had this all come from?

[sebastianshaw]

“The Golden Compass” in the His Dark Materials trilogy always makes me think of winter because of all the snow and cold in it, and I absolutely love the original world (a 19th century gaslamp fantasy alternate Earth where everyone’s soul is an external being called a daemon shaped like an animal to reflect them) and I started this fic of Pyro, Darkstar, Haven, Shaw, Fantasma, and some lady Eternals last year. Finally wrapped it up! You can PROBABLY guess from context, but in this world Muscovy = Russia, Brytain = Britain, and the Kingdom of Auster = Australia. Tagging @sammysdewysensitiveeyes​ for Pyro content but you don’t have to read!

“Idti idti idti!” Laynia Petrovna cried out as she shoved St. John Allerdyce on the train.

“Hey!” St. John turned back in the door, “Just because you’re helping me, doesn’t mean you can call me an idiot!”

 There were, admittedly, a great many things he’d done to warrant the title. Some people would say that investigating a story of top-tier political corruption in the heart of Muscovy was one of them. St. John, however, would not agree; not in this case, anyway. He’d been an idiot when he’d tried to haggle with a pack of impatient Tartars over the only sled for sale for miles, and he’d most definitely been an idiot when he’d tossed a lit stick of dynamite at a cliff ghast perched on a rock that was JUST above their trail through the winding Siberian mountains, but when it came to journalistic integrity and people knowing the truth, well, there was nothing stupid about that! Even if he had to give his life for that!

 And Laynia had to know that too, or else why would she, an agent of the Muscovite government, have turned her back on her very nation to help him escape its clutches and get his story back to the rest of the world? Though the way she saw it--

 “Nyet, idti means go!” Laynia said. And in the second that it took her to explain this, the train doors shut, and she and her daemon were trapped on the locomotive with St. John and his. The color drained from her face, and she whirled around, her long blonde hair whipping behind her from under her furry hat, and she began to beat at the door, but it was too late, the cars were in motion!

 “Looks like you’re catching a ride with me, love,” St. John said,

 “Might be for the best; truth be told, I was more than a little worried about what might happen to you here.”

 “I was going to surrender myself,” Laynia said, her back still to him.

 “Exactly! You can’t expect mercy from the State, love---especially knowing what you do now.”

 Laynia turned to face him, her expression the collected one of a martyr who had freshly accepted her fate, “Being shown mercy was not the idea. Being honest and accountable was. Just because Mother Muscovy’s leaders have forgotten how to do so, does not mean--”

 “And I appreciate that about you, Laynia, I do,” said St. John, “It’s why you saved Heph and mine’s skin instead of bringin’ us in, after all. But right now? Might be better to pipe down and find seats.”

 Laynia’s special forces badge and papers would normally have worked in lieu of a ticket but there was a warrant out for her arrest as a traitor now, so she couldn’t pretend to have St. John in custody like she had before on the way here. They had to hide, and quickly, before the ticketmaster got to their car. Laynia and St. John were both people who were used to navigating difficult situations, given their respective careers, and so were their daemons. Hephaestus, being a cat, was a naturally sinuous slinky silent sort. . .most of the time. Well, no, actually, most of the time he was a ball of orange-furred chaos, but like St. John, this belied a capable and wily nature most missed. And while Drioma the white wolf was no small creature---though a trifle daintier built than most of her kind---she had the willowy grace of her human Laynia, her paws as soft through the train car carpeting as they might have been through snow.

 Both daemons had one unusual thing in common: they were the same sex as their humans, instead of the opposite as was typical. It was rare but it happened. People said it meant different things. Neither Laynia and St. John had commented on this to the other, neither desiring to bring up one of the most common interpretations, as it was, in their case, the correct one. It was hardly relevant to their situation anyway!

 Speaking of daemons though--

 “Let’s head to the car for large daemons,” St. John said, “We can hide behind some of ‘em if anyone comes looking.”

 “That is a. . .shaking plan,” Laynia said, meaning shakey, “Who is to say the people will let us?”

 “You have a better idea?”

 She did not, and so they entered the car, with little time to rehearse an explanation. In it were two people, and both were, like their daemons, unusually large. One was a tall (this could be seen even though he was seated) white man well into middle-aged, broad and powerfully built, his dark hair receding on his head but very clearly thriving everywhere else, if the the nearly furry hands that extended from the cuffs of his well-tailored suit were any indication. The woman who sat on the other side of the car was nearly as tall as the man, and her dark bay skin and garb indicated she was from India, an unusual sight indeed in snowy Muscovy. By the side of the man’s seats lay an enormous black ox, and by the woman’s, a white cow of the Brahman breed.

 The woman looked mildly surprised, the man irritated, and it was he who spoke first to the strangers, “You’re in the wrong car.”

 “Are you lost?” the woman’s voice was kinder, and she stood up, fishing in a beautifully beaded bag til she pulled out a little pamphlet, and unfolding it, said, “This is Car F, so if your car is before that in the alphabet, it’s back that way, and if it’s after---”

 “This wouldn’t happen if the Muscovites had a concept of first class and private cars,” the man interrupted, sounding extremely irritated by the fact they did not. St. John pegged his accent as an American.

 “So sorry to interrupt, folks,” St. John put on his brightest smile, and Hephaestus stepped forward with his most friendly of expressions,

 “We’re part of the entertainment package! It’s such a long ride that the Muscovy Express has seen fit to provide its passengers with a show to pass the time.”

 “No thank you,” said the man dryly.

 “It’s complimentary,” St. John returned, his smile a trifle tighter.

 “I’m not interested.”

 “Well, you’re not the only one in the car!”

 The ox raised her huge black head.

 “Please, sir, madame, it is our jobs,” Laynia and Drioma stepped around Pyro and Hephaestus, “Only let us get through the routine and we will be on our way.”

 The man gave a soft snort and picked up a newspaper, while his ox lowered her head. The woman looked with polite expectation at the pair, as did her cow.

 And St. John and Laynia looked at each other, then at their daemons, with none of them having any idea what to do.

 And that was when something huge hit the side of the train car, and with such force it was knocked to the side, its link to the rest of the train severed, and went tumbling down the enormous snowbank to its left side, its inhabitants spinning and screaming like flakes in a child’s shaken snowglobe.

 For a moment, there was silence within the car. Then, the voice of the Indian woman,

 “Is anyone hurt? Pralaya, where are you?”

 “Here, Radha,” assured a plaintive moo. It was hard to lose an entire cow daemon in such a small container.

 “Who touched Opis?!” demanded the large man, while his ox bellowed in equal offense. Daemons might touch each other in violence or friendliness, but for a human to touch another human’s daemon was the greatest taboo, a sense of deepest violation that stretched across cultures.

 “How could anyone avoid her, she’s a great bloody cow!” St. John shot back, disentangling his legs from some luggage, “Heph, Hephastus are you hurt mate?!”

 “Think I brushed up against someone,” Heph jumped out from between the sideways seats into St. John’s arms and shuddered. Laynia likewise embraced a whimpering Drioma, though silently.

 “If anyone touched anyone’s daemon,” the taller woman said, one hand on the velvety hide of her Pralaya as though to reassert their connection over whatever sullying had just occurred,

 “It was an uncontrollable accident. We have no way of knowing who touched whom, and it is best to forget it for now.”

 “She’s right,” said the large man, though he sounded like he resented that,

 “The thing to do now is stay put and wait for rescue. Now, in case it takes them awhile, we’re going to need to work out how to stay warm. This car offers some shelter, but--”

 And then the top side of the car was blown off, peeled by invisible force like someone tearing the lid off a can of sardines, metal ripping as easily as tissue paper was shredded, and tossed aside as if it were just as flimsy. The cold air rushed in, as though it had eyes and had spotted them now that their shielding shelter was torn away, eager to sap the warmth from their bodies.

 But the cold was not the only threat, nor any longer the most immediate one. Above them, hovering in the air, was a witch. The other knew she must be a witch for the simple fact she was hovering, for only witches could fly., and her sparse attire---downright skimpy, in fact--showed off how her kind was immune to the cold. They knew what she was without knowing her. But Laynia knew her personally, by name.

 “Fantasma!” the blonde cried out in recognition.

 “Friend of yours?” St. John asked.

 “Laynia Petrovna,” the witch called Fantasma called down in a voice as imperious and cold as the swirling snow on the wind,

 “You stand accused of treason to the great nation of Muscovy by aiding and abetting the spy St. John Allerdyce and his daemon, who also stands accused of the aforementioned acts. You are BOTH under arr--”

 “How dare you madam!” The large man pointed an accusing finger up at Fantasma, who looked taken aback at the interruption. He continued,

 “You are absolutely incompetent! You derailed an entire train car, containing private citizens who are not under your jurisdiction, to obtain these criminals?! Why could you not simply fly by a window and break in?! Or await the train at its destination?! You have caused me more than a massive inconvenience---I’ve been separated from my luggage, I could have been seriously hurt, and I could yet be made ill by the cold! How are you going to remedy this? To compensate?”

 “I---that is not my concern!” Fantasma regained her composure. But while the man had been ranting, St. Pyro and Laynia had slipped off into the snowy woods with their daemons! Snarling as soon as she had spotted this, Fantasma flew in the direction of their tracks, leaving the man shouting behind her and his ox daemon bellowing in tandem. 

 When it was clear she was not going to return to do anything to help his situation, however, he turned to the woman, who had pulled her dupattra---velvet, an unusually heavy fabric for such a garment, but still such a flimsy thing in the frigid face of the Siberian weather-- around her tightly, her massive daemon pressing tightly against her like a cat, so much so she was in danger of being knocked over by her.

 “I don’t suppose you have any wilderness survival skills?” he asked snappishly, and then without waiting for an answer,

 “I’m a city boy myself, born and bred, but at least I had the sense to dress somewhat adequately for the weather. Here, let me loan you my coat---loan, mind you---while I dig into our luggage. We’ll pile on everything we can and I’ll find a way to start a fire. You just...stand there and be useless, I suppose.”

She did stand there, speaking softly to her white daemon, which blended against the snows as much as she stood out brilliantly from them with her dark skin and bright clothing. “Excuse me,” she spoke to the man, but her voice was lost in the sounds of him rifling through the trunks and suitcases. “Excuse me,” she said again, slightly louder. Still no response. Her daemon lowed, gentle but more than audible, and both the black ox and the man turned their heads in tandem with matching irate expressions. “What?” “We will find help swiftly if we go this way,” she said, pointing into the trees to a particularly lumpy. . .path was too generous a term. “How the devil do YOU know?” he demanded, his irritation increased and joined by disbelief. “You may have noticed Pralaya is a female daemon,” she said, placing a hand on her cow. “Wasn’t my place to comment,” he grunted. “There are many reasons one might have a daemon of one’s own sex. I cannot speak for if most are true. But the claim that those with a daemon who matches you in gender means that one possesses a second sight. . .it is true for me. Pralaya knows things, and she tells me, but what relays them to her, neither of us know. We only know that these insights are never wrong.” “I am not about to burn my energy and leave this shelter, broken though it may be, to traipse through this frozen waste on the words of a madwoman stranger.” “I understand, I do. It does sound unbelievable, and I do not blame you for your hesitation. But this circumstance is dire–” “Which is why I will not!” “For your own sake–” “Exactly!” They went on like this for a bit, til Pralaya tugged at the woman’s long garb with her teeth in something far too delicate to be called a bite, and spoke to her. As was typical between human and daemon, it was not said loud enough for anyone else to hear; daemons nearly always spoke only to the person to whom they belonged, for a daemon was one’s own soul made flesh. How strange would it be, if someone’s soul spoke casually to others? The woman looked from Pralaya, and then back to the man his equally obstinate daemon, the latter of which stood glaring at them as he resumed digging for extra coats. “I’ll come back for you,” she promised, “When I get help. And to return your coat. Thank you for it.” He grunted, and whether that was in response to her or just a sound of animal effort, she didn’t know, and she made no more fanfare as she departed down the path—or lack thereof—she had pointed towards, one hand on Pralaya to help keep her balance through its treacherous little hills and valleys and hidden holes. The man never looked up. *** Blasts of magic rained down at Laynia and St. John like deadly hail. They had dodged it thus far, as evident by being alive and in one piece each, but each one impeded them further even though they didn’t hit; the force of the mystic blows sent explosions of snow shooting up wherever they landed, making it hard for the pair to see where they were going. With every step, they grew clumsier and more disoriented, and the same was true for their daemons, who were closer to the ground. The cuckoo bird daemon of the witch Fantasma only served to exacerbate this, swooping down at the other daemons and tearing at them with her beak and claws as much as she could through their fur. She would not touch another human, but daemon to daemon contact was, again, permitted in acts of love or war. Of course, this wasn’t so much a war, as Fantasma saw it, as a massacre. At least, that was what she was intending. “My orders did NOT dictate I must bring you alive!” she cried from above where she soared like a bird herself. A bird of prey. Prey that was fast growing exhausted. St. John stumbled into a tree, blinded by the snow, and Drioma had to pull Laynia by the coat using her mouth so that her human would not collapse. “It would perhaps be mercy to end you here,” Fantasma said with cold factuality as she hovered above them, her cuckoo crowing beside her, “The torture you will endure for your crimes will make you wish I had.” She raised her hands. Magic gathered around them in crackling purple energy like ball lightning.” All St. John, Layna, and their daemons could do was brace themselves. And then Fantasma was sent hurtling into a tree, her cuckoo daemon crying out from her human’s pain. Hovering behind where the witch had once been were three more women, indisputably also women from the fact they too were flying. Three of them, all black-haired, all around the same apparent age, though doubtless far older; witches did age and die eventually, but their longevity far outstripped a normal person. As with all witches, their daemons were bird: A peacock (airborne despite true peacocks being flightless), a peregrine falcon, and a great gray parrot. The trio of birds took after the reeling cuckoo, which tried to evade, but the peregrine falcon is the fastest of birds—the fastest of all creatures in the world–and the smaller daemon had barely begun his escape before he was snatched in the peregrine’s talons. Just as her cuckoo had cried out with her pain, Fantasma cried out with his, reaching out as she thrashed in the snow, feeling as if her sides were about to bleed from the talons that held her living soul fast in his clutches. Despite what she had been about to do to them, Laynia pitied her. It was a horrible thing to be trapped, she knew firsthand. And who could NOT pity someone whose daemon was harmed? St. John, that’s who! “That’s it!” St. John jumped to his feet, his hissing daemon mimicking the action, “Kill her, ladies! Take her out!” “That is the intention,” said one of the women, with light brown skin and long wavy hair. The parrot hovered by her shoulder.  The peacock appeared to belong to the pale woman with long straight hair, which meant the peregrine falcon must be the daemon of the dark-skinned woman with short, very curly hair. The woman who spoke continued, “Makkari, you may–” “No. Please, no. Wait.” To the far left of them all, stood the tall woman and her white cow daemon. She spoke softly, yet her words carried as powerfully as the magical blasts had. Even the witches looked stunned. Indeed, they looked far more surprised than Laynia and St. John did, as if they perceived something when they looked at her that the other pair did not. Very likely, they did. “My daemon speaks to me with second sight,” she said towards the witches, her tone suggesting she was answering something they had not asked allowed, “She knows what it is you wonder: why a fellow witch is in the service of men, why she went so far astray, helped in the persecution your kind and others. Please, stay your hand; she is not to blame. Like the form her daemon takes, she is a bird in the wrong nest through no fault of her own.” Fantasma stared at her evidently confused. Before she could ask, the woman spoke towards her, “I know you do not know. It’s alright. All will be made clear.” “Listen, I’m sure we’d all love that, love, but think we could get out of this cold soon?” St. John asked, “Don’t want to be rude, but now that adrenaline’s worn off, I think I’m about t—” And he passed out. * * * When he came to, he and Hephastus were in the plush cabin of an extraordinarily lavish zeppelin. In it was Laynia, the tall woman, and their respective dameons. “Oh good,” the tall woman said warmly, almost as much as the wonderful interior heating, “The doctor said you’d wake soon, but I was worried.” “He said you’re just thin and not used to all that cold, coming from the Kingdom of Auster,” Layna added, “Anway, this is Radha Dastoor, called Haven in the west, and we’re in her zeppelin.” “Heading to Brytain,” Haven added. “And you were taking a TRAIN before?” St. John goggled incredulously. “Pralaya told me to be there,” she said, placing a hand on the white cow that sat curled at her feet like a cat. “Yeah, about that. . .” St. John sat up rubbing his head, “What was it she told you that you told those witches? What happened to the one after us?” And Radha explained how the witch Fantasma had been an unwilling changeling, found amnesiac by the Muscovite branch of the Magisterium after one of their assaults on witchkind. The Magisterium, the all-powerful church, was worldwide, omnipresent and often omnipotent, and devoted to stamping out heresy. . .yet not, apparently, opposed to using heretics for their own purposes, yet properly reprogrammed. “How’d you know?” John asked. “I. . .felt it when I became close to her,” Haven explained, “I wish I could give a better explanation. My daemon is more than my soul—she is as a conduit for second sight, feelings, messages. . .I didn’t know the whole story when I arrived on the scene, but as we sorted it out. . .well, she’s alive. Her fellow witches took her back into their fold. She’ll get her memory back in time.” “The Magisterium. . .damn, what a story,” St. John shifted thougtfully, “They’d be worse than a million Muscovy governments, o’ course, but what a story.”

“Please, don’t,” Laynia begged. “Oh, I won’t—but only because I don’t have proof,” St. John said, sitting up entirely now, “Besides, first I got to blow the door open on your god old Mother State!” Laynia sighed. St. John didn’t see why. Muscovy had betrayed her, not the other way round. “Oh,” he said, considering one more time, “What happened to that big ugly bastard, the one with the ox daemon?” “Oh, Mr. Shaw and Opis are just fine,” Haven smiled. “When we came back to the train car, they were both fending off wolves,” Layia explained, “And winning, too. You see, the wolves were attracted to the smell of the bear that he’d ALREADY fought and killed for its coat and meat.” “It really does surprise me,” said Haven in the most casual of tones,”He had assured me he was a city boy.” END I kinda cheated by taking the “and then he passed out and had everything explained to him after” shortcut but I ran out of steam! As a note on Drioma and Hephaestus, I picked them to be the same gender as Laynia and St. John because, duh, they’re gay, and that’s ONE of the reasons someone might not have an opposite-gender daemon. Another might be having second sight like Haven. Pullman basically goes with “I don’t know, you make it up” on a lot of stuff when asked, which I love. I picked a wolf for Laynia because they’re loyal pack animals; soldiers and servants in the books are often depicted with dog and wolf daemons. I picked the name Drioma after a Slavic spirit of the evening and the night. Hephaestus is of course after the god; I felt like that reflected both St. John’s creative nature (god of the forge) and also a nod to his powers as Pyro in canon (god of volcanoes). He’s an orange cat because I think the chaotic blend of impulsive and intelligence is pretty perfect for him. All witches are women and they all have bird daemons. Fantasma’s is a cuckoo because of their tendency to replace the babies of other birds. Ajak’s is a parrot because in canon, her talent is to be able to speak to the Celestials. Makkari’s is a peregrine falcon for their speed. And Sersi’s is a peacock because of their beauty and association with pride. For Shaw and Haven: Opis was the Roman earth goddess of wealth and oxen because of their association with hard work and strength but also aggression, and Pralaya as in the Hindu cosmological term (Mahapralaya means great pralaya) and a cow for their associations with motherliness, nurturing, and their presence as a sacred or sacrificial symbol in many faiths, especially being important in Hinduism. Hope you enjoyed!

[inkwell-passion]

"I agree with some of them," Seismic finally admits, before continuing, "Sure they may be going about it the wrong way, but they make valid points and the right way is either cloaked in Bureaucracy, or won't make any actual progress due to legislators finding a new way to circumvent their checks and balances." The other heroes stand in shock. "So why didn't you become a villain?" Darkstar asks. "Because," Seismic continues before making a face at Darkstar like 'What the fuck?' and continuing, "I'm not here to make some political statement or anything like that, I'm jut here to help people. Things can't get better if the planet is destroyed by some rogue asteroid, now can it?" Every time another hero tries to make a comeback they just pause for a second. "Well what about their means? Endangering the lives of Civilians!" Valentine asks. "It's never their intention, have you actually talked to these guys?" Seismic accuses, sipping his coffee and taking a biscuit from the pile in the center of the coffee table. "They target government buildings, and some of them theorize that Police Chieftains have been going out of their way to route traffic over to these buildings when they think an attack is going to happen, using them as hostages. Its incredibly fucked up."

The rest of the heroes sit in contemplative silence, before Justice, the one who had never really spoken up in these meetups finally asks the question, "So how do we help?"

You're a superhero who specializes exclusively in stopping disasters. The other heroes just don't understand why you need to remain neutral to the villains…

[kariachi]

So on Sunday my brain decided to throw Gwen/Mike/Kevin/Argit at me for some reason and today decided to continue with it, so.... Have a couple thousand word double feature.

~~

The house was smaller than the one Mike had been living in when they met, but just as if not more grand. Enough so that even Gwendolyn, nonetheless Kevin and Argit, had to stop as soon as they were out of the car to stare at its white stone walls, intricately paned windows, and the sheer amount of well-tended greenery and flowers. For all they had been told this wasn’t the normal place for family get-togethers due to being ‘not fit for hosting’, they simply couldn’t see it. It was still huge and gorgeous. No wonder Mike had been rolling his eyes when he said it. They couldn’t have been stood there gawking long before the front door opened to reveal a small woman dressed to impress.

“Mikey!”

“Monie!” And immediately Michael Morningstar- who in the three years since he’d gotten clean and the two he’d been a part of their little quartet had not engaged in displays of affection more grand than jewelry- bolted across the lawn, scooped the similarly excited woman up into a spin, and hugged her fiercely as soon as her feet had touched the ground.

“Remind me to get him to spin me at least once during this relationship,” Kevin grumbled as he and Gwendolyn rounded the car. “I don’t care if it happened right before he drops me into a volcano, as long as it happens.”

“Jealous, much?”

“Don’t be a hypocrite, Red. And stop scowling, she’s his cousin for fuck’s sake.” Something that was easier to tell as they came closer. There were plenty of differences- golden toned versus pink, tall versus short, blond versus grey, blue eyed versus green- but a few key features stood out. Their eyes were the same shape, they were of similar narrow build, and they carried themselves with the same proud bearing. The woman- Monie- stepped back as they approached, flashing them a toothy grin as Mike turned to present them.

“And these are my…” He goes quiet, mouth twisting and hand curling shut. They’ve never really worked out terms. Kevin and Gwendolyn were boyfriend and girlfriend, Kevin and Argit were partners, but Gwendolyn and Argit? Any of them and Mike?

“Yours?” his cousin offered in fond amusement. Mike nodded.

“Mine. Kevin Levin, Argit Levin, and Gwendolyn Tennyson.”

“Monette Morningstar,” she introduced herself, stepping around Mike and towards them. Gwendolyn stepped forward to offer a hand to shake, only to be wrapped in the same fierce hug Mike had gotten, and for Monette to quickly do the same to Kevin and Argit. “It’s a pleasure and an honor to have you here.”

“It’s a pleasure to be here,” Gwendolyn answered, still reeling a bit from getting a warmer welcome than she got from a fair chunk of her own family.

“We were beginning to think Sparkles was lying about having relatives,” Argit continued, “to make himself look better.” Kevin and Argit only had family in the Amalgam Kids and Cooper, who were always around, and they all were practically tripping over Tennysons, but Mike was the only member of his family he interacted with in their area, and the three times he’d gone to family events since they’d gotten together he’d insisted on going alone.

“Not surprised,” Monette said with a nod, “most of the others already hate you.” Gwendolyn snorted derisively while Kevin groaned beside her. They’d been warned the entire drive up, but still. “He doesn’t shut up about you, you know. Well, he hasn’t shut up about you since he was twelve-”

“Monie!” The woman kept her same easy, welcoming smile as he and Gwendolyn both went red around the edges.

“-but he’s even worse now. Shame, it would’ve been so fun to see him just drop you all on the family at once.” Stepping forward, Mike scowled at her.

“I am not putting them through that,” he said with finality as Argit snickered.

“Of course not,” she replied, waving off the very idea. “It’ll still be the funnest holiday since you ran off.” With another flash of perfect teeth she gestured them towards the house, falling in behind the little group with light steps. “Now come on, lunch is all ready and you kids must be starving-”

~~~~~

~~~~~

They had claim over the master bedroom whether they wanted it or not, their hostess more willing to eat her own legs than to risk them being crowded in one of the smaller beds. Not that it was much of a concern. Kevin had always been a tactile man, Argit had been born for piles of people, and between them it wasn’t at all difficult to cram the four of them into a space smaller than they had available.

It just meant they got to stretch out a bit, was all.

Gwendolyn was taking up as much space as possible, her legs hanging off the side of the bed and her head on Kevin’s chest. Meanwhile Mike had pressed the whole of himself against Kevin’s other side, stretched over him just enough so he could hold a tablet in place for he and Gwendolyn to read the book on it together. Argit didn’t even bother with distractions, content to doze splayed out across the boys’ legs, tail wrapped around Gwendolyn’s wrist. This was the norm for them, and Kevin had long accepted his destiny to be a mattress, generally working on a project or a book over the others’ heads until one of them groggily forced him to set it aside and go to sleep.

He’d already set it aside himself tonight.

“So,” he said into the quiet, fighting back a smile, “are we just not going to mention the whole ‘mine’ thing?”

“Yes.” Ears twitching, Argit snickered.

“Good. I’d much rather hear about how you talk about us all the time.” Mike groaned, shifting forward to bury his face in long red hair.

“Gwendolyn, lovely, perfect Gwendolyn-”

“Sorry, it’d work with Kevin but you know I can’t shut Argit up.” She shuffled away, just enough that she could turn her head and crane up to plant a kiss on his cheek. “It was nice to hear though. You’re harder to get an ‘I love you’ out of than Argit.”

“Because I don’t love you, Red,” Argit cut in cheekily, as Mike heaved something between a huff and a groan, “I tolerate you for the men’s sakes.”

“Uh-huh,” she replied, fidgeting with his tail, “you keep saying that.” Beneath them, Kevin chuckled as he reached out to tug gently at a lock of blond hair.

“We love you too, Sparkles.” In response Mike just pulled away with roll of his eyes and a huff, as if he wasn’t going red for probably the fourth time just since they’d pulled into the drive.

“I hate you all,” he answered with far less bite than he likely intended, “and one day I’m going to eat you out of pure spite.”

~~~~~

~~~~~

The first day of their holiday was definitely the best one. A nice, if simpler than expected, lunch with Monette. Meeting Mike’s Uncle Hector (Zombozo. Mike’s uncle was Zombozo. Zombozo, who wanted to start over fresh because apparently his line in the sand was risking making things harder on his nephew.) They’d had fresh pasta and baked apples at dinner, spent the evening exchanging stories, watching movies, and looking at pictures of Mike from birth to his teen years. Pictures Mike assured them, with a pained expression, had not been gathered for this event. His cousin and uncle were just exactly the types to have them on hand.

Monette’s parents had shown up on the second day and things had started getting tense. They loved their daughter, that was evident from the first moment they’d arrived, but otherwise… Nobody could really blame them for being openly unimpressed by Hector- excepting the younger Morningstars, apparently- but they treated Mike the same way some of Gwendolyn’s relatives treated her. Loving, but with the sharp edge of impossible expectations. The rest received polite distance, like they were some fling Mike’d drug along rather than people he’d been with several years. Still, they managed a nice, if awkward, dinner, and sat up late listening to embarrassing stories of Monette and Hector’s childhoods. It wasn’t fun, but there were fresh desserts and the evening wasn’t any more painful than larger Tennyson gatherings.

The third day though, that was Thanksgiving proper, and it brought the rest of the family. The middle cousin, Teddy, and his fiancé. His parents. Great-aunt Winnie. And suddenly, like a curtain was flung open, you could see how Darkstar happened. You could even see how Zombozo started.

These people did not like mutants.

They did not like aliens.

They did not like bastard children.

It hurt to know that the two had been outnumbered for so long.

Dinner was beyond awkward. Passive-aggressive comments flew to a degree even Argit hadn’t seen before, and he made it his job to antagonize Gwendolyn’s mother’s family whenever they met. Both sides threw jabs back and forth- about people’s jobs, people’s diets (never before had Kevin been seen passive-aggressively giving someone food but the moment Winnie had said something about Mike’s appetite it had been war), people’s lifestyles, people’s taste in clothing. Nothing, it appeared, was off limits, with the exception of a single “while you’re around” comment batted at Gwendolyn that’d had Mike tensing on the other side of the table and Monette putting her foot down as hostess. What sort’ve jab it had been was unknown to the non-Morningstars in the room, but it took a good forty seconds for people to begin talking again after the snapped reprimand.

By the end of dinner nobody was in a good mood. There was a steak knife lodged to the handle in the far wall of the dining room, from where Kevin had lost his temper and flung it at Teddy’s head (in his defense, he had warned the table about making any more comments about his partners, and Monette treated it no differently than if he’d had the misfortune to drop it on the floor), Argit was muttering about “no wonder you didn’t bring out the good cutlery for these people”, Mike, Gwendolyn, and Hector evacuated the room as soon as it was polite to do so for their own mental health, and Monette had a smile on her face that was sharp enough to cut glass. It was amazing nobody (namely Winnie) had been thrown out a window and most likely that was only because they were really nice, presumably expensive, windows.

The rest of the evening didn’t even have the decency to be entertaining. Just a slog they got through with tight-lipped politeness and a healthy dose of passive-aggression before heading to bed- ignoring the pointed comments about ‘making’ Monette give up her room as they went. Mental and emotional exhaustion had them sleeping soundly, waking at first light. They stayed long enough for coffee, breakfast, and Mike to hug his proper family members goodbye before heading out before anyone could wake up enough to start in again.

They were an hour down the highway when Kevin pulled over.

“Okay, I’m saying it now,” he announced in a tone that brooked no argument, “Monie can visit anytime, your uncle is a maybe, but I am never sitting at a table with the rest of those fuckers again in my life.” The others nodded at Mike in agreement, though Gwendolyn at least had the decency to try to look sorry.

“You know,” he replied, honestly looking like a weight had been taken off his shoulders- and with how Gwendolyn could be about her own family it probably had been- “I think I can live with that.”

[starksinthenorth]

The Winds of Winter Outline

No one asked for this but I don’t have the time to write my full predictions for The Winds of Winter as a fanfic so here is a potential outline. Some plots that I care or know less about probably have more detail plots (ex: Asha and Theon at Winterfell). There are also some chapters I can imagine being separate that could easily be combined (ex: Sansa and the Tourney of the Winged Knights, Sam’s training). 

This is probably 10-15 chapters too long. It might be a little out of order, but this is generally how I imagine things might go.

POV deaths: Barristan, Jon Connington, Aeron, Areo, Victarion

Prologue: Ser Forley Preston, the attack by Lady Stoneheart on Jeyne Westerling and Edmure’s journey to the Westerlands

Barristan I: Meereen, preparing for battle (already released)

Theon I: Stannis’s Northern Camp, sees meetings and advises Stannis, is marked for death (already released)

Dany I: Great Grass Sea, on road with the Dothraki

Sansa I/Alayne I: preparing for Tourney of the Winged Knights (already released)

Jaime I: Riverlands, journey to the Red Wedding 2.0 with Brienne

Arya I/Mercy: learning to join the play scene and killing Raff the Sweetling (already released)

Aeron I: Waters off the Reach, prepping for Euron’s attack (already released)

Theon II: Stannis’s Northern Camp, brought to be executed beneath a weirwood, hears Bran talking about tunnels underneath Winterfell and uses the information to bargain for his freedom

Arianne I: Dorne/Stormlands, heading to meet Aegon (already published)

Asha I: Stannis’s Northern Camp, attack by Ramsey’s people and Stannis winning

Victarion I: Meereen, preparing for battle (already published)

Tyrion I: Meereen, pre-battle, sees the Iron Fleet on the horizon (already published)

Dany II: Vaes Dothrak, joining Dosh Khaleen and being hailed as the Stallion Who Mounts The World

Barristan II: Meereen, the battle (already released)

Tyrion II: Meereen, pre-battle/battle (already published)

Victarion II: Meereen, during the battle

Tyrion III: Meereen, potentially heat of the battle

Victarion III: Meereen, blowing dragon horn and sending at least one of them (probably Rhaegal) towards Westeros, dies

Barristan III: Meereen, more of the battle and winning it until Rhaegal flies away and he retreats into the city (mildly doubtful of this chapter, tbd)

Davos I: Skaagos, arriving, gaining their trust

Brienne I: Riverlands, journey to the Red Wedding 2.0 with Jaime and some of the Brotherhood without Banners

Cersei I: King’s Landing, Kevan is dead, pretrial stress/anxiety, Trial (she wins)

Dany III: Somewhere in Essos, Journeying to Meereen

Theon III: Winterfell, Battle of Ice and leading the people into the tunnels

Asha II: Winterfell, Battle of Ice aftermath, bonding with Mormont ladies, potential arrival of the sellswords from Braavos

Jon I: the Wall/Gift, in Ghost’s brain

Tyrion IV: Meereen, post-battle capture or getting involved with Barristan in the rule of the city

Barristan IV: Meereen, finds Shavepate taking over the city, killing Hizdahr and Dany’s cupbearers, dies

Areo I: Dorne, chasing Darkstar

Arya II: The Little Lost Girl - hears about “Arya Stark in Braavos,” (Jeyne Poole) and “dead Jon Snow” leaves the Faceless Men (this may be two chapters, three max).

Sansa II/Alayne II: the Vale, Gates of the Moon, the Tourney of the Winged Knights

Dany IV: Meereen, definitive ending to the Siege of Meereen, mourning Barristan, getting Ironborn support, leaving the city

Sansa III/Alayne III: the Vale, Gates of the Moon, post-or-during-Tourney, ends with Sweetrobin’s death

Arya III: journey from Braavos and arrival in the Saltpans

Melisandre I: the Wall, post-Jon death’s chaos and noticing him in Ghost, “Arya Stark” arrives at the wall then heads to Eastwatch-by-the-Sea to go to Braavos

Bran I: Beyond-the-Wall, some kind of training and visions of Jon and the Others

Tyrion V: Meereen or the dragonroads, Meeting Dany, potentially narrator for some of her events and battles

Sansa IV/Alayne IV: the Vale, chaos post-Robert’s death, she’s kidnapped

Arya IV: Riverlands, Inn at the Crossroads, unites with Gendry

Arianne II: Stormlands, heading to meet Aegon

Sansa V/Alayne V: rescued by maybe Harry, reveal of who she is

Jaime II: Riverlands, Red Wedding 2.0 and forced to fight Brienne

Brienne II: Riverlands, Red Wedding 2.0 aftermath after running away from the Brotherhood

Tyrion VI: Dragon Roads, general advising Dany and gaining her trust, potentially an attempt on his life for Cersei that spreads news he’s dead (so Sansa can get married without that sticky plot point)

Sansa VI: Wedding, potentially poison reveal and blame on Littlefinger

Cersei II: King’s Landing, Tyene Sand is up to some mischief as her Septa companion, dealing with Mace Tyrell naming himself Hand of the King, potentially Myrcella arriving back in King’s Landing, Mace goes to Storm’s End to deal with Aegon

Arianne III: Stormlands, meet Aegon + siege of Storm’s End

Jon Connington I: Stormlands/Crownlands, wary of Arianne and the Dornish

Arianne IV: Stormlands, plans / agreement to marry Aegon after siege is ended

Arya V: Riverlands, Somewhere, Gets Nymeria’s Wolfpack (maybe near Harrenhal? I feel like one of the Starklings end up back there at some point)

Cersei III: King’s Landing, scheming, trying to get back in charge, Nymeria chaos on the small council

Asha III: Witnessing Winterfell, politics of the North, Theon gets to live for identifying a living non-Arya Stark child

Davos II: Skaagos, finding Rickon, convincing Osha to take him to Winterfell and his people as the last remaining Stark

Sansa VII: gets some kind of news (maybe Stannis claiming the North and looking for Lord of Winterfell), head to Gulltown to launch North

Arianne V: Stormlands/Crownlands, wedding or maybe POV for the Second Sack of King’s Landing (little later if its that second option)

Areo II: Dorne, chasing Darkstar, something at the Tower of Joy(?)

Melisandre II: the Wall, raising Jon from the dead

Dany V: Volantis, conquest of the city and freeing of the city, being hailed and crowned as Azor Ahai

Arya VI: Riverlands, Around Riverrun, Meets (and Kills) Lady Stoneheart

Cersei IV: King’s Landing, siege by Aegon and co.

Jon Connington II: King’s Landing, sack of King’s Landing, probably orders a mass slaughter when the bells are rung in celebration of Aegon’s coming even though they claimed the city peacefully

Cersei V: King’s Landing, siege part ii, Tommen’s death and fleeing King’s Landing

Bran II: Beyond-the-Wall, “Hold the Door” attack by the others

Davos III: Skaagos/Sea off Skaagos, journeying to White Harbor, see things (wights) moving in the water

Sam I: Oldtown, learning things and preparing for the soon attack, sending Gilly and Little Sam to Horn Hill, realizing important info about Wall, Jon, or Dragons

Dany VI: Roads of Essos, gets notice about Aegon in Westeros, turns towards Pentos

Sansa VIII: Maybe lands in White Harbor

Arya VII: Riverlands, Around Riverrun, somehow the 10/12 yo takes control of the Brotherhood without Banners and convinces them to follow her to end the remaining Freys at the Twins and free the Northerners there; potentially uses the reclamation of Riverrun to rally the Riverlords and ladies to her side (using friendship with Lady of Acorn Hall)

Bran III: Beyond-the-Wall, retreat south, visions

Cersei VI: Riverlands, running from chaos in the city

Jon Connington III: King’s Landing, feeling guilty when there are reports of greyscale in the city

Dany VII: Pentos, destruction of

Arianne VI: King’s Landing, crowned, marries Aegon if not yet, catches him with Elia Sand, maybe breakout of greyscale in his people

Jon II: the Wall, arisen from death, punishing those who did him wrong, someone tells him that “Arya Stark was at the wall,” he goes to follow her to Braavos 

Sam II: Oldtown, learning things and preparing for the soon attack, seeing Ironborn on the horizon

Aeron II: Oldtown, siege and bearing witness to Euron’s attack

Sam III: Oldtown, the Ironborn attack, seeing Euron’s Monsters of the Deep (Eldritch Apocalypse), escaping

Dany VIII: Pentos, giving it to the Tattered Prince and burning Illyrio Mopatis alive for betraying her, ends with her symbolically turning west

Areo III: Dorne, encountering Darkstar and dying

Sam IV: Horn Hill, after fleeing Oldtown, also his father may be there, sent by Cersei, sends out the ravens to warn Westeros of the threat of the Eldritch Monsters, heading North to help at the wall

Arya VIII: Riverlands, Around the Twins, claims the Twins, gets news of Stannis claiming Winterfell and trying to name a Lord of Winterfell, heads North with support of the Riverlands to claim her birthright as Lady of Winterfell since she thinks she’s the last Stark

Cersei VII: Casterly Rock, establish a court in exile and crowning Queen Myrcella

Davos IV: White Harbor, giving Manderly his King

Jon Connington IV: King’s Landing, dragon attack and death in wildfire

Jon III: Eastwatch-by-the-Sea, abandons his watch, someone tells him “Arya” had really pretty brown eyes, he realizes its not his little sister and determines to head “somewhere warm” or else somewhere South (potentially Winterfell - I go back and forth on if he’ll end up at the Tower of Joy or Dragonstone himself)

Sansa VIX: go to Stannis/fly banner over Winterfell, potential arrival/tension with Rickon and Davos and death of Littlefinger if he’s not dead yet

Brienne III: Riverlands, gets news Sansa is heading North / married in the Vale and that Tommen is dead; parts with Jaime - him for Cersei and Myrcella and her for Sansa

Dany IX: Dragonstone, her homecoming and arrival and crowning

Aeron III: Oldtown, going to the top of the Hightower and watching Euron blow his horn, dying

Melisandre III: the Wall, invasion of the Night and Others

Bran IV: the Wall, it falls

[thecorteztwins]

(Just a basic superhero vs supervillain brawl here between Force of Nature and the ladies of the Winter Guard, with a little twist at the end! No deep character stuff, but tagging @sammysdewysensitiveeyes because Pyro and Avalanche are in it!) Russia had the largest amount of forests of any country on Earth, even more so than the famous Amazon rainforest, boasting 55% of the world's conifers and 11% of the Earth’s biomass. And yet, the logging industry, especially the illegal side, was so rampant and unrestrained that deforestation was threatening even this arboreal giant. It was for this reason that Force of Nature was sent to attack the headquarters of one the largest logging companies in the nation, and one with the most illegal activity under its belt. It was the first mission for their new recruits---two mutants, Pyro and Avalanche of the Brotherhood, representing the elements of fire and earth. Though their origins were in the very political Brotherhood, they had the right mercenary attitude for the squad. They also got on well with the two pre-existing members. Well, no, they got on well with Aqueduct, not so much Aireo. But Aqueduct assured them that no one really got on with Aireo, and that he was just glad to have a couple of “normal guys” like himself on the team at last. “It’s not that I didn’t LIKE Theary and Terraformer,” he hd said, “But you couldn’t really have a beer with ‘em attitude-wise, you know? And I literally CAN’T with Aireo, poor guy’d die of alchohol poisoning after one glass. He’s got a real weak system, Inhuman, y’know.” They knew. It was getting him to SHUT UP about it that was the issue, Pyro had found. The skinny beanpole---for once Pyro got to call someone else that!---really got under both their skins, his and Dom’s, with his superior species bullshit. Though St. John kinda had to admit there was an irony to it, given how he’d and Dom had used to run in the Brotherhood, which preached the same thing, just with regards to a different species. And it was kind of novel how Aireo looked down on them for BEING human, rather than NOT being human like most people. Pyro would give the wind-master one thing, he didn’t discriminate against mutants, just ALL humans in general. There was a fairness in it he could respect---if it wasn’t so damn IRRITATING! That aside though, it turned out they worked well together in the field---Skybreak stayed aloft where he could be hit accidentally by Avalanche’s seismic waves, and his winds helped fan Pyro’s flames from above. Speaking of Pyro’s flames, Aqueduct could put them out if they got out of hand---a much quicker way to do it than relying on Pyro to calm them, something he always had trouble with---and he could also make mud for Dom to send his shockwaves through, which made for some interesting effects you couldn’t get with just dirt and stone. It was really just plain FUN, in Pyro’s opinion, to watch some fucker DROWN in it. Right now though, a few logging employees were drowning in the wood chips that had been knocked over by Avalanche’s avalanches...the ones that Pyro wasn’t lighting up, anyway. “Talk about burning through your profits eh?” St. John yelled to his team over the din as workers and officials scattered. One brave soul tried to spray a fire extinguisher at him, Dom’s shockwave knocked him off his feet while a breeze from Skybreaker sent foam back in the poor sod’s face, just before a wave from Aqueduct washed him away clear to other side of the room. “Come on mate, your life’s not worth whatever crap they’re paying you”, Pyro called over to the guy, though he knew the Russians likely didn’t understand him. “Yeah, nobody try to be a hero here”, added Aqueduct.

“Oh, but I think I will,” said a woman’s voice from behind him the water-wielder. It came from within the swirling black portal that had opened at his back, and poor Aqueduct turned his head just in time to get the side of his face punched by a white-gloved fist emerging from the portal, followed by a black-haired woman attached to it, wearing a red costume with a white-pointed white star emblazoned on the chest. Another black-haired woman stepped out with her, this one in a barely-there purple getup with thigh-high boots, and a younger blonde between them in a black costume with a yellow diamond star and a bejeweled headband. Pyro didn’t recognize them but he knew what they were-- “Supes!” Dom yelled. “Correct,” said the blonde in Russian-accented English, “We are the Winter Guard, defenders of Mother Russia and all her people---and we give you ONE chance to stand down and surrender!” “One chance is all I need to boil up some Russian hotpot!” Pyro proclaimed, turning his flames their way...only to have them harmlessly swallowed up by the Darkforce portal that Darkstar, the blonde, summoned to intercept them. “Wha---that’s cheating!” St. John exclaimed. “Then let’s even the score, Johnny,” growled Dom, sending a quake out from his hands towards the women...only for it to turn out THAT--- “They all can fly?!” he exclaimed. That REALLY was not fair! “They may ride the air,” scoffed Skybreaker from above, “But---can they command it?!” With that, the Inhuman hurled contained hurricanes intended to grab the women, knock them around, even break their bones inside it---or worse, hopefully. Darkstar teleported away, but the others, Starlight and Fantasma, were caught by the tornadoes. Skybreaker started to laugh, but his triumph was short-lived---a Darkforce portal appeared behind him, and he was pulled in by Darkstar, then spat out into the tornado himself, right next to Fantasma. The sorceress seized the opportunity, and seized Skybreaker himself, grabbing him and manipulating his bio-field to render him unconscious. Thus, the tornado stopped, and he dropped to the ground before Starlight or Darkstar could grab him, which Fantasma did not even try. blonde, Darkstar, ported away “Aireo!” Aqueduct yelled, “Hey, he’s got delicate bones!” “Your concern for your comrade is admirable,” Starlight commended “But you should worry about yourself,” added Fantasma “Get the ‘porter,” Pyro commanded to Aqueduct and Avalanche, having learned from what he just saw, “She’s the real threat, herd her to me and I’ll toast her!” “You like playing with fire, hmm?” Starlight had overheard, “How about nuclear fire?” And with that, Pyro found himself surrounded by flames that emanated from her body. Normally that was something he would have no fear of, quite the reverse, but this fire felt...wrong. He shrank from it reflexively, as he would something alien and dangerous. “My radiation is not something I wish to inflict on anyone---especially not one with infractions so minor as yours---but threaten the life of my teammate, and you can consider your own to be forfeit!” “Ulp,” Pyro replied, “Got it.” With Skybreaker down and Pyro caged, that left Aqueduct and Avalanche, and Pyro didn’t have much hope for them. Great guys, but not great thinkers, those two. He didn’t expect this fight to last much longer, and he was right. The last thing he remembered was one of Darkstar’s portals surrounding him, and then everything was black and cold... ...and woke up into just more darkness and coldness. “John? John!” Dom was leaning over him, his square face contorted in concern. “Ahhh...” Pyro sat up, rubbing the back of his head, “Feels like I got the world’s worst hangover...” “We all did,” said Aqueduct, “Everybody except Aireo.” “I was passed out already before that witch passed us through our portal,” Aireo said venomously. Pyro didn’t need to ask where they were. He could tell already. A prison cell. A bad one too. No beds or benches attached to the walls, no toilet, no bars, just three walls and a solid steel door. It was very, very cramped in here too, with minimal light coming only from the tiny window in the door. And he didn’t like the crusty brown rim around the drain in the center of the floor. Pyro also knew that power-dampeners must be installed, or these three would have already busted loose with him in tow.  This...did not look good. Pyro had HEARD what the Russians did to mutants, even the ones who WEREN’T foreigner criminals... “Johnny, get down!” Dom yelled, and pulled Pyro away from something. Pyro turned and saw that behind him, one of the Darkforce portals was forming. “What do you want?!” he demanded of Darkstar and Starlight, who were visible within it, though not emerging due to the cell being so small. “For you to come with us,” said Starlight. “We love our country, make no mistake,” explained Darkstar, “But the present government’s treatment of the super-powered who do not serve it is inhumane.” “Even for villains,” Starlight added. “Where’s Stripperella?” Pyro asked, noting that what had been a trio was now a duo. “Fantasma...has a harder time understanding the nuances of these things,” Starlight said, “She follows the law, and believes it is good. And it is. And you broke it. You should be punished, as the law demands. But not like THIS.” “What’s...this?” Aqueduct asked. He was apparently not as well-read as Pyro about how Russia did things. “You do not know what is in store for you?” “Er...no?” Dom said. He was also not exactly on the up and up in this department. The women exchanged looks. “Better that way,” said Starlight, “Come on---enough talk.” “We’ve just shut down the power nullifiers,” said Darkstar, “Quickly, make a mess so it looks like you escaped on your own---we’ll help make sure you get through the facility, you just leave a ‘trail’ as you go.” They did exactly that, their elemental powers wreaking havoc through the facility, while Darkstar’s portals enabled them to evade being seen or caught. The portals were bad enough though; Pyro realized now why he’d felt so terrible after going through one, why he’d passed out. It was staggering to go through them, even for a second, and all four of Force of Nature quickly protested their use, preferring to take their chances being seen. “It is the Darkforce,” Darkstar explained apologetically, “To me, it is friendly, harmless---but when others travel through it, the effects are...unpleasant. It is helpful for quickly subduing foes, as I did you before, but it makes it less than ideal for transporting friends, especially those unused to it.” “Even I’m still getting used to it,” admitted the sturdy-looking Starlight, who appeared to Pyro no worse for the wear despite the multiple small trips....while he felt like he was going to drop again, and the others looked about the same. Finally, they reached the end, a wall that Starlight instructed them to burst through, which Avalanche did with ease. They walked for awhile, Pyro burning a path through the snow---the ladies had considerately brought him a lighter---til they had left enough of a trail, then Darkstar took them all for one last ‘port, in the opposite direction, to the outskirts of Moscow, where they could find a way to contact their employers and get a flight scheduled. “From here, you must make your own way home,” said Starlight. “And never return, “Darkstar warned, “Or else you may not find us so merciful next time!” Actually they would be---but they didn’t want to risk these dumb-asses knowing that and coming back.

[studentsofshield]

A Hypothetical Mapping of Marv Wolfman’s Teen Titans Run Into Omnibuses

I tried to figure out what would be decent cutoff points for New Teen Titans omnibuses based on the size of the three new editions released/solicited. This also doubles as an abridged chronicle of the run.

New Teen Titans Omnibus Vol 1 - already released DC Comics Presents 26, New Teen Titans Vol 1 1-20, Tales of the New Teen Titans 1-4 The big kickoff to one of the best superhero runs of all time. All Marv Wolfman and George Perez. Introduction of Cyborg, Starfire, Raven, Deathstroke, and more.

New Teen Titans Omnibus Vol 2 - coming in February New Teen Titans Vol 1 21-40, Tales of the Teen Titans 41, Annual 1-2, Batman and the Outsiders 5 The main developments here are Brother Blood and Starfire's Tamaran connections. Terra and the Vigilante get introduced.

New Teen Titans Omnibus Vol 3 - coming in July Tales of the Teen Titans 42-58, New Teen Titans Vol 2 1-9 The Judas Contract, shit goes to 11 for the Teen Titans, Terra, Deathstroke. Dick Grayson becomes Nightwing. Jericho is introduced as a new core member. The series gets so popular that it gets the Baxter treatment. Which means getting printed on nicer paper with less ads. Which came with a renumbering I guess. The opening of that volume seems to resolve Raven's plotline (which was also the genesis for the team in the first place). The Titans defeat her father and she disappears.

George Perez also ends his continuous run as penciler for the series with Vol 2 #5. Most of the major plots up to this point are resolved. These are the only solicited volumes right now. So this is actually a good jumping off point.

So what might come next?

New Teen Titans Omnibus Vol 4 New Teen Titans Vol 2 10-25, Annual 1-2, Teen Titans Spotlight 1-6, Omega Men 34-35 Classic DC artist Jose Luis Garcia-Lopez follows up Perez for a short stint. Kole is introduced. But then quickly killed alongside Aquagirl and Dove in the Crisis on Infinite Earths. Which will impact some Titans history for a while. Starfire is forced into a political wedding, which pushes away Dick. Roy Harper discovers he has a daughter with the villain Cheshire. Among all this chaos, Donna Troy tries to assemble mismatched pieces like Jason Todd to lead the Titans.

New Teen Titans Omnibus Vol 5 New Teen Titans Vol 2 26-49, Annual 3-4, Infinity Inc 45 Eduardo Barreto is now the consistent artist on the book. The team finds Raven again and defeats Brother Blood again. They encounter the Wildebeest Society, which will factor heavily into the book as time goes on. An annoying kid named Danny Chase joins the team. They help out Dial H for Hero and Red Star.

Besides those JLGL issues and a few major plot points for characters, this chunk is a valley rather than a peak, but it’s not really bad. Wolfman has claimed in interviews that he was suffering from writer’s block for a few years. So there are some repetitive plots.

New Teen Titans Omnibus Vol 6 New Titans 50-69, Annual 5-6, Batman 440-441, Secret Origins Annual 3 Eduardo Barreto is gone. But who better to replace him than the return of George Perez? The side effects of the Crisis are really starting to be felt across the DCU. First on the docket is to fix Donna Troy's continuity for the second time in the Who is Wonder Girl story. She becomes Troia. The next issue addresses some Titans West stuff. Then the Secret Origins Annual recaps and fixes the entire Titans continuity post-Crisis. Perez drops off from drawing the book and then from co-plotting. He's still writing Wonder Woman and gearing up for the War of the Gods crossover, so maybe he was too busy. Bat fans should recognize those issues as half of A Lonely Place of Dying, which handed the Robin mantle to Tim Drake.

Again, another stopping point. Perez is now 100% done with the Titans besides drawing the cover for the final issue of the series. The stability of the book is about to be all over the place too.

New Teen Titans Omnibus Vol 7 New Titans 70-92, Annual 8, Team Titans 1-3, Deathstroke 14-16 Two huge controversial storylines here. Tom Grummett (Superboy, Robin) is now the artist, with a more cartoony but also 90s style. The original Titans Hunt featured the Wildbeest Society hunting the Titans. Spoilers for a 30 year old story, but Jericho is revealed to be leading them. His father (Deathstroke for the clueless) kills him and helps the Titans in the finale. Some D-listers like Red Star, Pantha, Phantasm, and Baby Wildebeest join the team. Raven and Cyborg are constantly changing. Titans Tower is destroyed. Then right after that insanity, a team of weird Titans from a future timeline appear. One of them seems to be the long dead Terra. They want to kill Donna Troy because allegedly her baby is basically the Anti-Christ. Turns out that's not true and these alternate future peeps just stick around for a while.

Depending on who you ask, Titans Hunt and Total Chaos are 90s trash or an exciting uptick in the history of the Titans with a blockbuster story and lots of status quo changes. However, past this point the book officially devolves into standard 1990s fare and loses a ton of focus. 

New Teen Titans Omnibus Vol 8 New Titans 93-114, Annual 9-10, Sell-Out Special, Showcase 94 11 The book is kind of shit now, but not absolute shit for some of this. A major editor left and Wolfman is running out of ideas. Roy Harper comes back and becomes Arsenal. Nightwing and Starfire get engaged, only for their wedding to be absolutely ruined by Raven. Tom Grummett leaves and is replaced by a very 90s nobody. Everyone you care about leaves the team at the end of this.

New Teen Titans Omnibus Vol 9 New Titans 0, 115-130, Annual 11, Deathstroke 48-49, Green Lantern Vol 3 65, Darkstars 32, 34, Damage 16 And we reach the end of the journey with the final volume. With a broken team and Zero Hour allowing for soft reboots, Arsenal assembles a new one. Featuring characters you like such as Donna Troy, Kyle Rayner, Impulse, Damage, and Terra (the fake one). Or at least you liked them if you were still reading comics in 1995 for some reason. That shitty 90s artist is even gone and replaced by someone tolerable. But it's totally lost the flavor that made the book so genius 10-15 years before. Fans were completely burned out from the direction and the industry at large, so the book was canceled.

My divisions are based mostly on natural cutoff points and also shooting for similar sized volumes. The three existing volumes all sit around that 24-27 issue mark.

So depending on what kind of Titans fan one is, the options would be 1-3, 1-6, 1-7, 1-8, or 1-9. It seems like each omnibus is about 3 trades, with some wiggle room.

Addendums:

Teen Titans Spotlight is a 21 issue spinoff series created so that Titans related characters could have solo stories that wouldn't work in the context of a team book. Wolfman only wrote 1-6, an arc about Starfire dealing with South African apartheid and a Jericho arc. No other issues are really integral to the main plots. So these are the only ones that make sense in these collections, if at all.

Other semi-significant Spotlight stories though: -7-8 - Hawk in the period after his brother's death but before Dawn Granger pops up -9 - Changeling (Beast Boy) doing some more reconnecting with his Doom Patrol past -10 - Aqualad, technically does continue from a main series plot, but who cares -13 - JMS' first comics work on a Cyborg vs Two-Face story -15 - picks up on some Tamaranian plots, but effectively a minor epilogue to the 80s Omega Men series -21 - a Silver Age throwback issue from Mark Evanier and Dan Spiegle 

Team Titans is the book starring the alternate future characters that no one cares about besides Terra. First three issues are part of Total Chaos. The damn book somehow lasted 24 issues though. Wolfman was involved in the writing of the first half. There is really no reason to include those other 9 issues. And the series is totally pointless and bad.

New Titans ends in 1996. Also when Wolfman's other ongoing Titans work ends. That being Deathstroke Vol 1, which lasted 60 issues. Giving the Terminator his own book was majorly inspired by the success Marvel was having with the Punisher. The first 34 issues are all drawn by the same artist, Steve Erwin. Past issue 40, Slade is framed for murder and all kinds of DCU characters try and take him down. His daughter Rose is introduced here.

Just like the main Titans book, sales were lagging hard near the end. So they did some stupid thing where Slade literally walked out of an explosion a changed man. He was de-aged, had amnesia, a dumb new color scheme, and a new artist. It was stupid and didn't help sales.

DC has been reprinting this Deathstroke series alongside New Teen Titans. They're up to four volumes, getting to #25. The early half of this run is actually good and a decent companion piece to Titans. And obviously people are digging Rebirth Deathstroke now. Wolfman did a major plot with Batman before Christopher Priest. Avoid all N52 Deathstroke junk.

Marv Wolfman's Titans run is just over 15 years. A couple years short of Claremont's legendary X-Men run. Though Claremont also wrote and maneuvered around a wider line of closely related spinoffs. Claremont also maintained a higher average. Those first five years of NTT with Perez can rival the heights of Claremont though. Maybe blasphemous, but I find Perez more interesting than Byrne. Then there are occasional highs for another seven years or so.

For comparison, Claremont's complete original X-Men run sits at a similar 10 oversized hardcover volumes or so. Though they're a little larger on average. 1. UXM Vol 1 2. Vol 2 3. Vol 3 4. Eventual Vol 4 5. Mutant Massacre/uncollected gap 6. Fall of the Mutants 7. Inferno Prologue 8. Inferno 9. Claremont and Lee Vol 1 10. X-Tinction Agenda/Claremont and Lee Vol 2

[bonefall]

Love the Clanmew dog/hound distinction as it relates to Houndstar because it really is almost a kind of nominative determinism. Her parents were out here naming her after the worst most fearsome thing they could think of so she would grow up to be ShadowClan Based. Makes me wonder what her warrior name would have been. Houndclaw, for ferocity. Houndrun for speed. Or something totally off the wall like Houndcatcher because it seems like something she would do. Apprentice Houndpaw absolutely fucking up a dog and getting a badass name and probably some scars out of the deal. You've got me rotating her in my brain like a rotisserie chicken. She's a menace. She's a theologian. She's a slay queen. Love her.

Answering this before dropping a post on her because goddamn it now I'm thinking about her too. Dude she's supposed to have like 4 lines in the entire thing now I'M obsessing over a background character who is just there to provide politics to Darkstar's Commandment

Her warrior name was Houndfang, for the most dangerous part of a large dog. I'm still nailing out the EXACT timeline (because these cats are so far back that I don't actually have enough modern canon characters to pad it out) but it was either one of Ripplestar's final names, or one of the first Marshstar gave.

Either way, Ripplestar had it decided before his death, and Marshstar giving it to Hound was kind of like bestowing his final gift or being reminded of his loss constantly. Houndfang was ferocious and ambitious, but Marshstar's entire rule was characterized by lethargy.

It's a very sad era for ShadowClan, which Houndstar was determined to bring them out of. With violence, of course!

[tessatechaitea]

Darkstars #4

Hey hey! It's the Nineties!

I sometimes wonder how people into fashion and fashion history can look at some item of clothing and know exactly when it was created. Same with experts on music and visual art and poetry. But then I realize that even though I'm hardly an expert, I could probably do a fairly decent job of looking at comic book art and guessing what era it was from. I'm sure if I studied a bit, I'd be excellent at it considering I've done so much pre-course work due to my comic book hobby. The only really difficult part would be guessing art from artists who have really long careers and their style doesn't change a great deal. Like maybe somebody like Curt Swan, you'd be able to guess when he started and maybe a decade or so after as his form improved. But at some point, Curt Swan is just fucking Curt Swan for, like, decades! So I'd probably be terrible at recognizing the minutia that would be the fingerprint of the decade he was working in at the time. What I'm saying is, "This cover looks like if The 90s ate some bad oysters and wound up shitting and vomiting at the same time but got caught in the rotation so neither The 90s mouth or butthole were facing the toilet and the sick just sprayed out of both ends and landed on the cover of Darkstars #4." And that was one of my less tortured metaphors! According to this cover, somebody is still trying to make "The Darkstars" happen. According to next issue's cover, it didn't happen. I knew I was on the right side of history when I refused to use the article! This is the title of this issue:

Imagine how much more exciting George Lucas's movie franchise would have been had he chosen to put an exclamation point at the end of the title. What a tragic loss!

I want my legacy to be, "He wrote a thing that was as good as Lucille Bluth's 'Here's some money. Go see a Star War.'" Evil Star begins destroying a city because he's evil. The star part of his name must be vestigial because he doesn't act like a star. Unless he doesn't mean the astronomical star but the Hollywood star. I guess the tantrum he's throwing because Green Lantern hasn't welcomed him to Earth is quite star-like. I take it back about the "Star" being vestigial but mostly because I was probably using vestigial wrong. And if I was, just know I was using it metaphorically which means you can't criticize me for using it wrong. Evil Star calls Green Lantern "the green coward." In the last three issues, no character has actually said "Green Lantern." It's like when a star on a game show is from a show on another network, they don't mention the network because it's their rival. Although they do sometimes. I think it was probably a certain time where nobody would mention the competitors. Probably the 80s. And since I don't know as much as I thought I knew before I started typing this crap, maybe I should have stuck with the analogy of how Marvel and DC always refer to each other as "the competitor." Unless it's another word that's a synonym for competitor. See, I don't know much about that either! The Eee! Tess Ate Chai Guarantee: "I might sound like I know everything but I'll readily admit to you when I absolutely know nothing (but only if called on it and can't deflect the accusation)." Some cops pull up to stop Evil Star and one cop is all, "I'll show you power, jerko!" And the other cop is all, "No, don't!" Not because he's against lethal force but because he realizes Evil Star has even more lethaler force, a lesson the cop learns for himself rather quickly.

I'm not saying I cheered at this panel because that would open me up to a bunch of criticism from online jerks who don't understand fiction, satire, or hyperbole.

So with the cops dead, it's up to Darkstar and his sidekicks (one of which is a cop) to stop Evil Star! Unless Green Lantern suddenly appears but I think he's not allowed to show his face in this comic book and/or he's busy becoming Parallax. So there's this big comic book fight and it's a lot like every other comic book fight you've ever read. Which really makes you wonder why some comic book fans only want to read comic books where there are big fights. Why would you want to read the same thing over and over again?! Some people just like to look at the different outfits, I guess. Anyway, I'm not going to describe the fight blow-by-blow. Y'all know how these things work! The good guys get beat up for awhile and maybe defeated after which the bad guy flees instead of killing them. Or the good guys get beat up for awhile before digging deep and defeating the bad guy. It all depends on how many issues the story is set to run. And since I think this story is over this issue, the fight will be of the latter sort.

I'm not saying, after looking at this panel, I subsequently wrote a fan-fic story that went into way too much detail describing Colos's cock and how Detective Beer-Guzzles' mustache felt rubbing against the thick, pink skin because that would open me up to a bunch of fan-fic writers who would try to befriend me so we could swap dirty stories.

Meanwhile, Carla White learns that you can't quit family. Or mob bosses.

He's from America. Another thing you learn in America: if somebody doesn't respond to you being polite, you have every right to become a violent asshole. It's the major defense on Judge Judy. "Yes, your Honor, I smashed up her car. But she wouldn't move it when I asked her politely to move it for no reason at all except that I wanted to park there!"

Evil Star retreats to a junk yard to engage in an existential crisis. Why is he evil? Why does he do bad things? Why does everything have to die? I mean, on a metaphorical level and not on an evolutionary level where death drives evolution, creating room for offspring more and more capable than the parent of living in specific environments through the recombining of different genes and sometimes through lucky mutations. Darkstar feels like it's a good time to wait and see what Evil Star winds up doing but Detective Mustardstache has a better idea: beat the living crap out of him and maybe kill him if he gives him any fucking excuse at all! Detective Darkstar gets his ass kicked by the Starlings and Darkstar has to rush in to save him. They then retreat to observe Evil Star.

Every right winger on Twitter who thinks they're the greatest debater since some famous person who could debate well. Napoleon, maybe?

Detective Pork-chops-as-an-appetizer apologizes for getting carried away. Notice how Homeless Mo didn't get carried away and try to kill the perp even though he hasn't had nearly as much training as the cop? Carla was kidnapped by her ex-client, the guy being used by the aliens to run the Loco drug ring. Kidnapping a lawyer seems like a bad idea. I mean, kidnapping anybody seems like a bad idea but kidnapping a lawyer seems like it would have extra consequences. I used to do cabinet work for my cousin's cousin David. He was a train wreck of a human being but he did good cabinet work. At one point in his life, he had a lawyer working on his DUI case to try to get it dropped and he was juggling his bills. His solution was to bounce a check to the lawyer. I don't know how that all worked out because I tried not to work with him too much (only enough to pay for comic books, really) but I'm assuming his lawyer decided not to argue the charge down and David wound up in jail.

This is the argument of everybody who has ever kept the world from becoming a better place.

Carla refuses to keep working for the mob boss so now he probably has to kill her or else he's facing kidnapping charges which are as bad as murder charges. Which seems like a bit of a mistake, in my opinion. I mean, sure, you want kidnapping to have a steep punishment. But if kidnapping is equal to murder, every kidnapper is just going to murder the person they kidnapped because it does away with the main witness. I guess the point is that people that wouldn't murder won't kidnap either because the penalty is so great. But if somebody is kidnapping somebody and the penalty were only a year in prison, they'd still probably murder that person in the hopes of getting away with it and not having to spend a year in prison. Darkstar, using his super computer on his ship orbiting Earth, learns that Evil Star's mind shackle that keeps him from turning into Evil Star is on the fritz. So he's occasionally feeling like a genocidal maniac while mostly just feeling scared and guilty about his terrible thoughts. To stop him, Darkstar inundates him with images of all the people he killed on his home planet. I guess Evil Star was the original Lobo, committing planet-wide genocide.

Earlier I mentioned how he laughed while his wife and son died not because I'd read ahead but because, probably like the author of this story, I read the Who's Who entry on Evil Star.

Evil Star collapses from the guilt and Darkstar takes him into custody. He encases the Starlings in scrap metal and, I don't know, sells them at a yard sale. Carla gets extra-kidnapped by the mob boss whose name I probably should have learned four issues in. Darkstars #4 Rating: B+. This issue was better than the previous three but I can't explain why. Maybe because there was a super villain and most probably not because some cops died and the other cop got harshly reprimanded for immediately resorting to violence. The Darkstar Colos has turned out to be far more diplomatic than I was expecting. I wouldn't have guessed that Hal Jordan was more temperamental than some testicle-headed alien in a 90s costume called Darkstar.

[thebeercavalier]

Judgement is Upon Us!

Ok that’s a bit dramatic, but it is time for the 7th Annual Spa Valley Railway Cider & Real Ale Festival.

Last night I was lucky enough to be able to attend the judging of the Ian Dalgleish Award for Green Hop Beer of the Festival 2017 – named after the festival originator and instigator of the competition. The judges were a mixed bag of local publicans, Councillors, brewers, hop growers, beer writers and some absolute beer royalty in the form of the first female beer sommelier in the UK, Sophie Atherton (@sophwrites) and the writer of the CAMRA Good Beer Guide himself, Roger Protz (@rogerprotzbeer). I was awestruck to be completely honest, but with the burden of being your eyes and ears behind the scenes and just that many amazing beers to try… I muddled through.

So, how does beer judging work?

In this instance there were 24 entries into the Green Hop Beer competition (for more about green hops, see my previous posts). These beers were tasted ‘blind’ by 24 judges in two rounds. The best 12 were then tasted blind by 12 judges in a semi-final and then the best of those were brought forward to a final tasting of 6 beers to determine the winner.

Sophie was keen to offer new judges some tips, “It’s not about whether you like the beer or not, it’s about whether it is a good beer. If you have to come back to a beer after a few minutes to decide, that’s perfectly fine.”

Roger Protz was keen to add that, “this is a remarkable time to be drinking beer in this country. When I started writing the Good Beer Guide there were just over 100 breweries. Now there are over 1,700.”

Hearing from our celebrity judges did give me a moment’s pause. Sophie’s words reminded me of something that I often state in the courses that I offer: You don’t have to like all beer. Ultimately what you like and don’t like is down to taste – because afterall, this is just food. But it is important to try things, and understand that something can be good, whether you personally like it or not. Roger’s comments also made me think about the massive explosion craft brewing here in the UK that has taken over in recent years. The staggering variety which it has provided beer drinkers, and the number of new converts is a brilliant thing – but with such variety there is a risk of leaving some people behind. The more jargon and options we through into a beer list, the more people will start to feel ill informed or ‘stupid’ and nothing puts people off faster than feeling like they’re on the outside.

At any rate, the judging commenced with all suitable amounts of swirling, sniffing, slurping and gargling – there were even a few notable attempts at shining a torch through some of the beers. There were clearly key moments where judges were very impressed – I’m reminded of when a local restauranteur put aside me standing too close looking over his shoulder to hand me his glass and say ‘you have to try this.’ Unfortunately I’m also reminded of at least one occasion where a small group of judges were trying to find a way to be polite about a beer that they spit out. All part of the process though, I assure you.

In the end there could be only one (or three in this case), so your 2017 Green Hop Beer winners are:

3rd Place – Pole Dancer from Cellar Head Brewery (a massive achievement for such a new brewery) (@cellarheadbrew)

2nd Place – Route 13 from Downlands Brewery (@DLbrewery)

1st Place – Green Hopped IPA from Darkstar Brewery (@darkstarbrewco)

All three of these brilliant beers (and the 21 other Green Hop entries) can be sampled Friday, Saturday and Sunday (or until they run out) this weekend at the Spa Valley Railway! If I were you I would get there sooner than later for one last taste of summer.

Keep up to date with the goings on at the festival:

Follow me: @thebeercavalier

Follow the Festival: @WKCamraSVRFest

[sebastianshaw]

Okay so at one of the boards I’m at, in the OOC section there’s a thread where you write about “what would your characters be in DnD” so I did that, and I’m just posting it over here too cuz it’s fun. In addition to Shaw, I also write DARKSTAR and AMANDA SEFTON there.

Amanda is a SORCERER whose hereditary powers hail from, of course, the Winding Way. None of the available canon DnD options for sorcerous origins really fit the Winding Way that I saw, so I’d just have DnD Winding Way be a homebrew thing. I’m not sure about her race in DnD terms; I feel like having her be of a people who are typically looked on unjustly  with suspicion and bigotry would be a good reflector of her being Romani, so I considered tiefling for a brief second, but them immediately went...I don’t think that using “literally descended from demons” is a metaphor I want to go with for ANY real-world race, especially not the Romani, yikes (though I think it would work GREAT for Nightcrawler!) Likewise I like the VISUAL in my head of her as a centaur, because I just really like centaurs, but like...the politics of making her half animal seem almost equally iffy. So I’m just going to go with plain human for her and have her come from a people who have an in-universe status similar to Romani. Her alignment would probably be Neutral Good or Chaotic Good. Darkstar is also a Sorcerer, with her powers coming from SHADOW, which is a really near-perfect equivalent to her canon Darkforce abilities and link to the Darkforce dimension. Her “quirk” is being icy cold or not appearing to breath when asleep. She’s a high-elf or half-elf, because she’s got that willowy blonde classic Tolkien type look, but while most elves are freedom-loving wild things who are of Chaotic alignments, Darkstar is very very Lawful Good, reflecting her backstory as being trained from birth to serve the USSR and often finding herself in moral conflict with that, but always returning to Mother Russia time and again despite her misgivings. In this world, her reasons for being Lawful would probably also have something to do with how she came to be touched by the energies of the Shadowfell, or related to it in some way. Elves are also associated with nature and the wild, and she’s very quick to point out that shadows and darkness and death are all a part of nature too; she’s very defensive about that. Shaw wouldn’t be any of the player classes because he wouldn’t be a player character. He’d be an NPC, probably an antagonist or at least some type of obstacle, ranging from someone you have to bribe or work with or do a favor for to get by or get info or get SOMETHING, to the Big Bad of the whole campaign depending how the DM wants to use him and what he would be. Alignment-wise, Shaw’s pretty solidly between Neutral Evil and Lawful Evil, and which side he falls on would, again, depend on how he’s used. He could be a merchant who has simply acquired a lot of social/political power and influence due to his wealth and thus maybe the party needs his help (or they’ve gotten on his bad side and he’s turned it against him), a corrupt rich guy doing corrupt rich guy things in the pursuit of more wealth and it’s caused Problems that party has to fix and then stop him, the asshole who is hiring them for jobs, the agent of some greater evil, to head of some secret society they’re infiltrating, a rival who is after the same treasure, honestly loads of things! Race-wise I could see him as a human, a red dragon or archdevil in human guise, or, perhaps most fittingly for his appearance, a half-orc. I think I like the human or half-orc options best, because they have a CHOICE in their alignment and can be anything they choose, whereas devils and chromatic dragons are evil by default. Shaw choosing to be what he is is both accurate to his character and thematically essential to him in my opinion.

[bonefall]

OUTDATED: Bonefall Rewrite History Lesson

Hey there! This post is outdated! I rebranded to the Better Bones AU a while back. This post is still up for posterity's sake, but if you found your way here looking for a History Lesson, please go HERE instead!

Here’s that history lesson I promised!

I hope that this makes an accessible guide to the Bonefall Rewrite as a whole. Because I’m trying to be succinct with a really big project, this guide will just contain a brief recap of each ‘time period’ as I’ve rewritten them, followed by a straightforward list of eras.

Each arc has an Era Name to refer to the events that happen in it, instead of just referring to the nearest main series arc. 3 Eras create a Period, which carries a unique theme. I hope that they help to summarize events better!

There are 5 Periods so far; Ancient, Chivalric, Slash-and-Burn, Reaching, and Shifting.

Period 1: Ancient Period Dawn/Code/Skyfall Eras (This is the equivalent of Dawn of the Clans, Code of the Clans, up to Cloudstar’s Journey)

The Ancient Period is remembered through dramatic legends, exaggerated into fantastical myths and losing exact details over time. History becomes more 'accurate' and realistic as it becomes more recent.

Its first era, the Dawn Era, is the Clan's creation myth. It's an epic tale of the fall of the Great Clans of Lion, Leopard, and Tiger, and the rise of the modern 5. The founders are remembered on a level close to gods.

The Code Era that followed is remembered as a series of parables, each with a lesson about its attached part of the Warrior Code. The bulk of the code was formed in this time, but continues to be altered to the modern day.

The final, the Skyfall Era, consists of the events that eventually drove SkyClan out of the Forest. It’s largely used as a cautionary tale about how twolegs cannot be trusted, not as a lesson about how to prevent it from ever happening again. SkyClan is largely blamed for the reasons it was eventually banished.

Period 2: Chivalric Period Ripple/Crusade/Campaign Eras (This stretches from the exile of SkyClan to the death of Raggedstar, and includes books like Mapleshade’s Vengeance, Yellowfang’s Secret, and Bluestar’s Prophecy) 

The Chivalric Period is considered the ‘golden age’ by the Clan’s battle culture standards, full of deadly battles, invasions, and the largest revision of the Warrior Code in Clan history; it would remain unmatched until the later events of The Broken Code.

Its first period is the Ripple Era. After the exile of SkyClan, Dawnstar’s successor, Ripplestar, led a rebellion hoping to make space to bring them home. Its failure was taken as a sign the Clans were righteous. 

The next period was the Crusade Era. The drowning of Mapleshade’s kittens and the subsequent murders infuriated StarClan and caused them to give Darkstar a new commandment, leading to the Queen’s Rights. Oakstar tried to repent for his sins by starting crusades on the twolegplace, giving the era its name.

The four Clans dabbled in these crusades, until the Campaign Era, when Heatherstar began a war to take the Mothermouth Moors from ShadowClan. This sparked new inter-Clan conflict, as all four fought to reshuffle borders. From this time of war, the seeds of Thistle Law germinate in its founder’s mind.

Period 3: Slash-and-Burn Period Thistle/Fire/Ash Eras (This covers The Prophecies Begin, the reworked versions of Firestar’s Quest and Spottedleaf’s Heart, and other events in the same time.)

The Slash-and-Burn Period was a time of massive political upheaval for the Clans, beginning as Brokenstar took power and implemented Thistle Law into practice, reaching crescendo when Fire Alone saved the forest from Tigerstar, and ending during the destruction of the forest territories.

The Thistle Era was slowly born from the erosion of the Warrior Code during the brutality of the period before it. Thistle Law is a strict and bloody interpretation of the Code, emphasizing loyalty above all else, and is named after its founder Thistleclaw. It officially started when Brokenstar took power, as it was the first time Thistle Law was put into practice.

The Fire Era began when Firestar became an apprentice of ThunderClan. With his selfless actions, defiance of old customs, and Bluestar to mentor him, he founded a counter ideology known as Fire Alone. This came to a head with the Battle with BloodClan, which ended in the honorable defeat of Scourge and negotiations thereafter.

The Ash Era was a time of relative peace and reckoning, brought about through relations with new neighbors in BloodClan and truce between the forest Clans. This lasted until the destruction of the forest forced the Great Journey on them.

Period 4: Reaching Period Journey/Power/Omen Eras (This covers the later half of The New Prophecy, Power of Three, up to the battle with the Dark Forest in Omen of the Stars.)

The Reaching Period is so named because the entire period was defined by reaching new things. A new home, new understanding, new planes of existence… it’s fundamentally a period of new things, and acquiring them.

The Journey Era includes the trip to the lake, a brief stay with the Tribe, and officially ended with Mudclaw’s Rebellion and the punishment of the rebels that came after. The Clans don’t completely agree on when this period ended exactly; ThunderClan is partial to Brackenfur’s appointment as deputy, RiverClan argues that it ends with the sudden death of Leopardstar.

The Power Era was a calm but tense period of the Clans adjusting to new life at the lake, shifting borders and attempting to assert independence, as if it was a push against the oncoming tide of inter-clan cooperation. ThunderClan and its leadership, Firestar and his deputy Brackenfur, pushed for diplomacy until Brackenfur’s mysterious murder, followed by Firestar shortly after, thrusting Bramblestar into sudden power.

The Omen Era crashed into existence with tumult, the clans plunging into paranoia and violence. The Dark Forest grew in strength as the Clans engaged in pointless squabbles, and Lionblaze pushed his children, Ivypool and Dovewing, into danger for the 'greater good'.

Period 5: Shifting Period Revision/Rearrangement/Reckoning Eras

(This will cover the events of A Vision of Shadows, Tigerheart’s Shadow, Squirrelflight’s Hope, and The Broken Code)

The Shifting Period is about changes, as the Clans finally reckon with their culture producing the threat of the Kin, the territory shift to accommodate SkyClan’s return, and finally the tyranny of Ashfur.

During the Revision Era, Darktail seized discontent within ShadowClan to create a movement he could use to destroy them. Many half-clan cats, ex-dark forest trainees, and other code objectors joined his movement, only to find out he was using them. The Kin was only put down with the return of SkyClan, and Darktail's death marks the end of this era.

The Rearrangement Era refers to the literal rearranging of borders to welcome SkyClan to the Lake, a move that sparked war and controversy, even causing them to attack peaceful neighbors to make room. An amendment to the code was made in this time-- that all clans had a responsibility to ensure the preservation of the other 4.

And finally, the Reckoning Era was sparked by the possession of Bramblestar's body by Ashfur. Exploiting the code and resentment towards disloyalty sparked by the previous eras, Ashfur pushed Ivypool into being his pawn, eventually killing her daughter Bristlefrost for being in a half-Clan relationship. Bristlefrost sacrificed her own eternity to finally end Ashfur's tyranny in the Dark Forest, leading to the newest addition to the Warrior code-- Bristlefrost's Law.

And that catches us up!!! I won't be adding A Starless Clan to this list until it's all totally released, and for now we're all caught up!

That was a lot, so HERE'S just the straightfoward list of Periods and Eras, no notes, no nothing.

Ancient Period - Spans from the Sun Trail to the Exile of SkyClan.(Reworks books such as: Dawn of the Clans, Code of the Clans, and Cloudstar’s Journey)

Dawn Era Code Era Skyfall Era

Chivalric Period - Spans just post-Exile of SkyClan to the death of Heatherstar. (Reworks books such as: Mapleshade’s Vengeance, Tallstar’s Vengeance, Pinestar’s Choice)

Ripple Era Crusade Era  Campaign Era 

Slash and Burn Period - Spans from the Rise of Brokenstar to the Destruction of the Forest. (Reworks: Bluestar’s Prophecy, The Prophecies Begin, first half of The New Prophecy)

Thistle Era Fire Era Ash Era

Reaching Era - Spans from the Journey to the Lake, to the Dark Forest Battle. (Reworks: Power of Three, Omen of the Stars)

Journey Era Power Era Omen Era

Shifting Era - Spans from after the Dark Forest Battle up to the death of Bristlefrost. (Reworks: A Vision of Shadows, Squirrelflight’s Hope, The Broken Code)

Revision Era Rearrangement Era Reckoning Era

[tessatechaitea]

Darkstars #2

Darkstars had adult coloring book covers before it was cool to be an adult who colors.

Funny how we're lots of years of continuity into the DC Universe by 1992 and nobody ever mentioned the Darkstars before now. You'd think Hal Jordan would have, at least once, mumbled, "Fucking Darkstar sons of bitches." But no! Never! At least as far as I know. Maybe Hal talked about the Darkstars all the time! It's not like I ever read more than a few dozen Green Lantern comic books prior to 1992! One of them was the one where Guy Gardner gets fucked up by using Hal's lantern, sent to the Phantom Zone, and later winds up with brain damage. Speaking of Guy's brain damage, every fucking character in the DC Universe who ever called Guy an arrogant prick was an ableist asshole. The guy was dealing with a traumatic brain injury! And eventually Batman punches him directly in the brain injury causing him to develop a completely different personality and everybody is all, "This is okay because Guy is nice now." What a bunch of fucking assholes! At the end of the last issue, Detective Chicago-head was thrown out of a window by a huge alien. This issue begins exactly where that one left off which might be surprising to people used to reading comic books by Scott Lobdell. They're probably thinking, "What is linearity?! How do time go?! Is Superboy really a living weapon developed by N.O.W.H.E.R.E? I've only been told that 27 times so who can know for sure?"

I guess in Colos's language, "Whoooa!" means "You catch meaty men like a drunk St. Bernard!"

Detective Ketchup-on-a-hot-dog-is-a-crime-head tells the Darkstar that there's an alien distributing drugs in the warehouse. That leads to another scene with somebody going through a window and Colos mistranslating another exclamation.

The Schoolhouse Rock song, "Interjections," must be like an ancient Middle-English epic to this guy.

Colos sees the Chicago-headed cop begin beating the shit out of one of the warehouse workers and just stares at him. At first I thought, "Oh, Colos is pretty brutal but he's incandescent with rage at the brutality of this cop!" And then the logic gears in my brain suddenly caught some traction and stopped spinning uselessly (they've become stripped from years of trying to rationalize the thoughts of Ayn Rand and C.S. Lewis lovers) which caused me to blink and gasp out loud, "Oh no! He's admiring the brutality!" After that, I was so incensed by the idea that people are still supporting cops after all the brutalities they've committed against protesters protesting police brutality that I went on Facebook and defriended four friends who just seemed like the types of asshole that would find any excuse to defend a cop for murdering a suspect during an arrest. You gotta just despise these jack-offs who demand we wait for all the evidence and maybe a trial before judging the cops because everybody is innocent until proven guilty but they don't fucking give a damn that the cops just killed a person who was innocent until proven guilty and never got a trial. Now I'm super mad at this comic book! I think all shows about cops should have to draw a new genre out of a hat for their next season. Keep all the same character but now instead of Brooklyn 99 taking place in a police station, have it take place in a library. Or now every NCIS takes place at the mall at a Hot Dog On A Stick. Fuck all cop shows forever.

The number one thought of every cop: "Just let me get my hands on this gun!" Also notice they're friends now that Colos saw how well he brutalizes perps? And also, they're "palm-masers." Whew. That's a lot to take in over just a few panels! Especially the "palm-masers."

That fat guy from the cover of Issue #1? I don't think I really talked about him in the last review. He's a big gangster who was cleared of all charges of gangstering by a hot shot lawyer named White. She's one of those ruthless lawyers who gets the job done no matter how unethical the job is because she's awesome. I mean, that's what people who think they're good at arguing think of themselves. They're awesome! But really they're just selfish assholes that don't care what burns as long as they get big bucks and a ton of prestige. Here's a simple way to know if you're one of these asshole types: if you've ever said, "It's not personal; it's just business." Boom. Asshole.

So far Paul is my favorite character in this comic. If you don't speak up and tell your asshole friends that they're being an asshole, you are also an asshole.

Although some of us aren't great at confrontation so to keep from being an asshole yourself, I'll also accept simply ghosting your asshole friend and passively aggressively shining them off whenever they want to get together. That's what I've been doing with my dad because I don't have the emotional wherewithal to confront him about his terrible politics and shitty jokes without also coming completely unhinged about his near total absence throughout my youth and the problems that caused in mine and my sister's relationship with our mother. Fuck that coward. Even as an adult when he thought he could be friends, he proved to be deficient in his ethics and his compassion. White pulls all the "Everybody needs a defender!" crap that might be true but she still knows what she's doing is making the world a worse place. And if she doesn't do it, somebody else will, so why shouldn't she get her piece of that pie? Besides, maybe a different defense attorney would be even more evil than she is! They might not do any good at all! Paul winds up apologizing to her because he's not as awesome as I thought he was. But he's still better than everybody else so far, aside from Mo. Mo might be all right. It's too early to tell. You might be thinking, "If it's too early to tell if you like Mo, how can you hate all of those other characters?" Easy! I start off every comic book hating every fucking character. You can't properly review a comic book if you give every aspect of it the benefit of the doubt like those terrible reviewers at the Weird Science blog! I hesitate to even call them reviewers! They're more like synopsisers who don't understand punctuation. Meanwhile in space, some guy in a ship is being chased by some other mysterious guys and he's having a full blown paranoia attack. I think he's probably Evil Star. Back on Earth, Darkstar Colos and his new friends stop the Loco drug ring and save the day. Being a comic book, that one sentence lasts for about ten pages of lasers and stupid one-liners. After the battle, Colos takes his buddies to his ship so they can be there when he tells his boss that he solved the case with their help. The boss is all, "Welp, I guess you're Earth's Darkstar then!" And Colos slaps his hand to his face and everybody laughs as the credits roll. Darkstars #2 Rating: B. The best thing I can say about this comic book so far is that the protagonists actually stop some crime. That's actually high praise from me because too many superhero comic books simply have the hero defending themselves from bad guys set on hurting the hero. You'd think it wouldn't be that hard to write stories about heroes actually doing good and making the world a better place but I've got over one hundred issues of The New Titans that prove it's actually really difficult!