#solution is to not vote. which part of me understands but i don't understand how we make any head way under a trump presidency when he's

[spurgie-cousin]

i ask this in 100% good faith as some one who's just read over Trump's 2025 manifesto: what the fuck are we supposed to do

like i know the big call is to not vote for Biden or Trump and trust me I do not want to vote for Joe, but the manifesto is going after the rights of women, pregnant people, every type of person under the LGBTQ umbrella, POC, and in a political climate where Roe v. Wade was overturned i feel like it's completely possible that he'd be able to achieve at least some of that so

is there a 3rd party candidate I don't know about?? or what is the plan here bc tbh as a queer person and someone who was planning to be pregnant in the next year I'm scared as hell like are we really just not voting? It's 7 months out and I feel like no one is agreeing on what to do

[khywae]

No more fanfiction

Hey loves,

I just wanted to chat with you about a new direction I'm taking in my career.

My recent trip made me rethink a lot of things. It made me realize how short life is and how much time I've “lost” due to mental health struggles. My mind was my number #1 enemy, but not anymore. Now I'm determined to pursue my dreams unapologetically.

My biggest dream is to create a lasting legacy. I want to leave behind tons of content with the female gaze, portraying men as objects of desire rather than just women. It might seem like a silly dream compared to other, more grandiose ones, but I never had access to a lot of content like that. I always felt starved, scavenging the internet for scraps, especially when it came to submissive men. While I've found solace in the writing world, which flourishes with the female gaze, it’s still not enough. Men are just too gorgeous not to be appreciated in other forms of art. I want to live in a world where women have access to quality female gaze content and don’t have to resort to the male gaze if they don’t wish to. That means no faceless dudes, no showing only the woman’s body, and no men so ugly that could make a freight train take a dirt road. Enough.

To turn this dream into reality, I started to think. I could continue with writing, but as you guys can see from the number of words in The Muse and the time it took me to write it (6 fucking years), it would take too long. As the old saying goes, ars longa, vita brevis. Art takes a long time, and life is short. And I, my darlings, have a mission.

Because I love writing too much, I need something that limits the amount I can write. I thought about making videos, but it took out a large portion of the writing part, and it left me unsatisfied. After a lot of thought, I realized that video games can be the solution. They have visual elements, so I don’t need/can’t rely so heavily on my writing; I love games, I play them every day; and I can count on my fingers the number of adult games for women, meaning we need more. A lot more.

Like our himbo icon Kronk says, oh yeah, it’s all coming together.

So I'm excited to announce that I'll be creating games – fangames at first – that mix the interactive side of games and the smut from fanfiction. The SFW version of the games will be free, and the NSFW version and other perks can be accessed through my (freshly launched!) Patreon. There you'll have the power to vote for the next character featured in the games, access work-in-progress pictures and animations, see my writing process, and more. I’m still figuring things out, but I’m super hyped for this!

Currently, I’m working on the very first game of this legacy, called My Assassin Bodyguard. Yes, I transformed the Toji video/fanfic idea that I posted before into a game. You can play the demo now on itch.io!! You don't even have to download woooo!! The game may seem really basic as I get a hang of things and learn new software, but with time we’ll make improvements, such as adding different player characters, a smut gallery, and voice acting (!!!). Anything to make the experience the best it can be.

For those of you who are mostly here for my writing, don’t despair. My writing will still be alive, just in a different medium that needs me right now. I hope you understand. Thank you for your support all these years, for being here through it all. I'd be thrilled for you to join me on this new journey and help me bring this dream to life, together.

So here's the link to Patreon! (⸝⸝ᵕᴗᵕ⸝⸝) I hope to see you there! But if you can’t, I’ll still post updates here and you can always play the games on itch for free. After this dream is accomplished, my next mission will be to write books. Maybe I’ll do it along the way. We’ll see. Life’s full of surprises after all, and that’s the beauty of it. Let's enjoy it the best we can ♡

With love,

Khywae

TL;DR: Life's too short, I write too much and too slow, and I've got a ton of content to create to make my dream happen. So I'm switching to game development for now. I'd love for you to join me on this journey to make this dream a reality. Thank you for everything, love you.

P.S.:

About the Lore

I was so excited about this that I created a little world. Based on the two iconic fanfiction terms —ship and canon—, and my love for Pirate AUs, I came up with a world where we sail across the ocean, collecting ingredients to craft Tapes that connect us with different Alternate Universes. It’s basically a Witch-Pirates-‘90s nostalgia mix. I've got plans to flesh it out even more over time, like adding some decorations, some hot pirates... Important stuff, you know?

Here's the boat in its simplest form, to symbolize that our journey is just starting:

[blueepink07]

Not what I usually post, but I wanted to share my thoughts about a take or an opinion that I really despise: that Mahiru is an evil, manipulative person that can't wait to kill again.

(What I write here is basically what I posted on my twitter account as a quote response for somebody who claimed how dumb is this take. So I apologize if the wording is not that good)

For me it doesn't make sense how Mahiru is thought to be manipulative. Yes, she doesn't want to change her views of love, but why would she? Does Milgram showed her a different way to love? She is just being honest, she will continue to love the way she loved before, because that's the only way she knows to. And Mahiru actually states a good reason for why she doesn't want to change her mindset. By voting guilty, she now believes that we want to take the act of loving away from her. Mahiru's character and personality revolves a lot around it, so, for her, to change all these views, it's like we are trying to kill her (literally and metaphorically).

Literally -> because it's Milgram and death it's not something unexpected.

Metaphorically -> with our votes we are changing the prisoners based on our own moralls and how we want them to start acting. Voting her guilty, we are basically trying to erase even more of Mahiru's personality which, for her, it feels like we are killing her.

Also, it's really funny to me to hear that Mahiru is manipulative. Like. Are we really talking about the same person??

(A translation from the official account)

She is said to be easy to trick and genuine... I don't think these are the triats that a manipulative person would have.

Moreover, Mahiru says that she likes reading romance books, watching dramas, reading magazines. Meaning that for the most part, Mahiru took the ideas about relationships presented there and used them in her own. Not to forget the beautician, at the salon she usually goes, who acts as an advisor to her.

Mahiru's views of love are mostly taken from other sources. The bad part? They are not necessarily actually good advices, thus why her ideas are very flawed.

However, if she were to escape Milgram, and return to her normal life, with proper advice and support from people, Mahiru will definitely change to better. She is only refusing to change her views right now, because Milgram it's not a system who can help or give solutions for her problems. Mahiru doesn't have any reason to change her personality and thoughts just so we approve of her.

And what I like about this? Is the fact that she is not hypocritical at all in the way she thinks. She is encouraging Es to vote and do as they wish, and understands the fact that Kotoko acted based on her own beliefs too. She is respecting and emphasizing with their ideals and, at the same time, she is standing her ground and doesn't give up on her own ideas of love.

So, in conclusion, Mahiru can grow into a better person, but not in Milgram. And she is not manipulative at all. In fact, I can say that she is one of the most honest prisoner.

Not to say that just because she wants to love again, doesn't mean that she is not suffering from the loss of her boyfriend...

[iamnmbr3]

Do you mind if I rant to you? I hope not because I need to talk about this with someone and you’re the only blog I can think would understand, so here it is. I’m brazilian and I’m so fucking pissed at my president, I’m left wing but holy shit he’s saying some dumb shit about Israel and it’s disgusting, not mention making out situation in international politics while also sinking the left with him. But beyond that, his remarks about Israel genociding gazans like the nazis did to the jews is so fucking disgusting and seeing how dumb and shameless he’s about this is infuriating, and what’s worse the left in on his side and celebrating him! So. Fucking. Disgusting! Anyway, there isn’t really anything I can do about this, except voting but who the fuck knows who’ll be on the ballot next election. Knowing my country, it’ll probably left wing nutjob vs a rightwing nutjob. But thanks for being a sane person in this hellsite, it gives me hope seeing there’s other sane progressives around.

I really wish people on the Left would stop feeling the need to compare the current situation in Gaza (and in Palestine more broadly - though a lot of people are so misinformed they don't even know the difference between Gaza and the West Bank) to other past or current global tragedies.

It is minimalizing, inappropriate and frankly deeply disgusting to try to turn Gaza into some type of competition and pit it against other tragedies or other parts of the world that are suffering now. Furthermore, something can be bad and not be just like some other historic event that was different or bad in its own way.

I wish people would put this energy into actually trying to find a workable peaceful compromise solution that would allow for coexistence instead of just pointlessly shouting inflammatory things which does not help people in Israel or Gaza or the West Bank in any way whatsoever. I guess a lot of Leftists want to center themselves rather than the actual people impacted by this conflict.

[reflections-in-a-critical-eye]

It's not like I have this on my schedule, but somehow it seems like I end up making a list with thoughts in the middle of the week. They pile up and most of the time, a lot happens in one day.

Someone sent me an ask about Taemin and Key making colorist remarks towards Minho because of his tan. It's also been extensively talked on twitter currently. Yes, it did happen and Shawols are sharing their thoughts, making extensive use of Weverse. No cursing, death threats or cancelling anyone immediately. I think that's an admirable behavior from a fandom that expects certain standards from their own members, but also the kpop artists they like. The remark was indeed wrong to make. Just because something is rooted in a country's history, it doesn't mean it can't be criticized. Our behavior and mentality changes with the times and it is our duty to be informed as members of society and to take into consideration prejudices we have. We're also connected globally and we know what's around us. We also shouldn't sweep under the rug or consider it part of the culture as a way to excuse various -isms and -phobias. But so far, I've witnessed a respectful debate over this, which is very good. Cancelling someone immediately is a waste of time, especially without given the chance for them to learn from it. This could be a more sensitive topic for other people and they have all the right to share their thoughts. For me, Taemin and Key are still the artists that I like and if they do something regarding their remarks, then I'm hoping it turns out well.

I'm not interested in those popularity awards and all the voting efforts because it's not the way I wish personally to engage in a fandom, but I've briefly seen what is happening with the voting for Fact Music Awards. I'm not surprised at Army's behavior and the choice to deal with it the way they do. It all tracks with the usual modus operandi. Perhaps I'm naive once again, but isn't the most obvious solution to just let people simply vote for who they want? Do personal choice and thought have again little importance in that fandom? Or is this pettiness because JM and JK are usually more popular? Absolutely ridiculous issue, but once again it leads to obscene comments which is usually the worst outcome and the most common.

I don't have that much more to say about Jungkook's collabs and how army in general has been responding to that. I'm also done with having that fandom be the center of influence. I find it all irelevant. Everyone can see there's no unity and most of it it's a facade in terms of those who are actively engaging online. Whatever happens, they can twist and turn in order for their current opinions to make sense.

JK's career choices are very far from everything I'm interested in and so be it. I wasn't on tumblr back then, but I would have said the same thing about Jimin and his involvement with the Fast X soundtrack collab. A mess that I almost refuse to acknowledge. The only way I can understand it is he did it for the money and because it's a famous movie franchise. Which I get wanting the money, I really do (at least he released his album that is 100 percent Jimin). I'm not gonna praise everything my fave does just because I'm his fan. Just as it's the case with Jungkook now. It's his choice to release these songs which are deals that involve a lot of money and Western exposure and it's my choice to not like it and talk about it. That's it. I'm also not canceling him, lol. How could I?

For the first time, I find myself liking an idol only based on his looks and it's so refreshing to not know almost anything? I don't care about his music, his ships, any potential drama, nothing. It's just Jeonghan and is beautiful hair and thanks to Paris FW and the YSL show in early 2023, now I follow focus accounts with cute pictures 😊 Oh, he's a libra like Jimin and born in the same year 👀

I've started watching Cassandro, I'm only half way through it because I had to prepare dinner and then I read for a bit. But it reminds me once again how good of an actor Gael Garcia Bernal is and how his filmography is so freaking cool, from beginning until today. He's always taken "risks" and it paid off.

And speaking of reading, there's this article in The New Yorker (I'll link it below). It takes a bit more than an hour to finish, but it's worth it and I really recommend it. The subject focus is Evy who at the age of nine, spent a few months in the 1970s in a villa with other children where doctors/researchers did experiments. What the article is actually investigating, alongside Evy's journey as well, it's these institutions that were opened in Austria in the second half of the 20th century and which were basically places of torture. And as barbaric as it sounds for that period, the existing mentality of some researchers at that time was that in order for children to grow up as functional members of society, they had to learn how to behave. Forcefully. The focus was mostly of sexuality and how expressions of it must be eradicated through punishments and medication. Coming from a working class background, living in an orphanage, having too much energy, were all elements that had to be punished and converted. It ties with fascist ideology not only through ideas, but also with the people who used to run these experiments. There's a lot more in the article, some of it shocking and heartbreaking and it's hard to grasp how those kids had to live with that trauma.

[countkunt]

We don't fucking like Biden or support his genocide, we're trying not to get slaughtered ourselves by the violent fascist regime looking to seize power here. And unfortunately the only fucking option to prevent them from gaining more power is to vote for Genocide Joe.

It's not a good solution. But it is a means of self preservation. I can't fight for Palestine to be free if nazi trumpers have locked me up or murdered me for being queer and disabled.

Quit punching down on the people who are trying to prioritize their own lives over being a perfect ally in an imperfect world. Only ever supporting perfect people isn't going to make the world perfect. It will just make it easier for the worst bastards to enact their wills on the less fortunate.

keep enabling one wing of the same bird that hates you in the name of “self preservation” and you will have nothing left to preserve. biden is as much a fascist as trump. if the past 2 months haven’t made that clear to you i’m not sure anything will. in fact, looking at his career, he’s actually had a decades long track record of radical support for the zionist project. your final hope against fascism is to the far right of ronald reagan on israeli violations of international law. guess what that effectively makes him and his supporters?

libs have bought into a perverse and frankly racist ideology that anything can happen over there as long as it doesn’t happen here. but even if we convince ourselves our “safety” is more important, let me assure you we are more interconnected than that. if in the year of 2023 joe biden can explicitly and zealously (as he’s done throughout his career) endorse, fund, and arm the second Nakba, and fucking win the next term, what message does that send the Democratic Party? what lines are left to cross? do you actually understand the type of world neoliberalism is and has been building?

if both parties are coming together to censor dissent across the country, if the House is proposing a bill legally redefining anti-zionsim as anti-semetism, if what’s left of Gaza is destroyed with our tax dollars and arms dealers, and voters don’t even fucking flinch in the face of it, exactly what kind of future do you think you’re preserving for us? Cop City and the surveilance state are being championed just as hard by dems, and of course they're learning plenty from israel on how to go about it. biden is continuing the border wall after promising not to and waiving any environmental and indigenous protections in his way. the kids in cages libs used to be crying over are still being put in them. families are still being separated. biden continues the muslim ban. hate crimes against arabs and muslims are drastically on the rise thanks in large part to his administration's abhorrent leadership.

lie after lie, attack after attack against the most vulnerable of the domestic minority and global majority. the House just voted for H. Res. 894 that will legally censor anyone who’s against apartheid israel-finally finding a way to legally redefine anti-zionsim as anti-semitism. 311-14. the US has long dictatied what politcal movments youre allowed to support, but now Congress is bipartisanly deciding which politcal movements you're allowed to be opposed to. even those among the 14 reps who voted against H. Res. 894 have voted for aid to israel in the past or cowardly abstained, and that includes members of the beloved squad ilhan omar and aoc (.). this is the exact shit that got us to this point. and you still think you’re safer under fascists and enablers in blue. giving our government a bright green flag to act upon anyone they don't like with impunity is what liberals are working with conservatives towards.

i want to say more about how as we worry about ourselves a generation of Palestinians are being permanently disabled, how netanyahu is speaking with our congressional leaders of both parties about “thinning” a population of 2.5 million as we try to convince ourselves biden’s ghouls are any better than trump’s. but what can i say that hasn’t already been better said? it’s long past time americans admit that you can’t claim to be against something and then vote for it every election day. the capitalist system is irredeemable. neoliberalism is unsustainable. all our politicians are bought and sold by the ruling class and therefore only serve the ruling class. not disabled people. not the lgbtq community. the ruling class. you couldn’t change that in a voting booth if you tried and this system is not going to get better in any meaningful way. that is not punching down, this is the reality we have to work with. every time a liberal chooses their (ever right-shifting) status quo over human life, that’s punching down on all of us, hardest on the "third world." no one is free until Palestine is free because no one is free until we all are free.

or else, human life is worthless and we in the US will spend the rest of our lives (more time for some than others) watching BOTH parties chip our rights away as they condition the population to accept that this or that minority is merely collateral. or a nuisance that must be disposed of. or it's just the way of the world. fuck that fuck Joe biden and fuck everyone who tries to shame people into playing their games.

[rin-and-jade]

this is my experience with DID

short-term system problem : making sure all daily tasks are completed, no matter who fronts. keeping a routine, basically.

long-term system problem: we don't have higher education because we can't settle on a career path. we all have wildly different ideas of what we wanna do with our lives, so nothing is actually happening (for now). that's honestly one of our big problems as a system.

I hope you don't mind me telling this via my experience since we have this same issue and managed to overcome it, though i'll provide more general tips at the bottom so lets start:

For daily tasks, the rest managed to keep on the routine streak because i used my initiative to tell them what to do, when, how and why to make sure the one who's out understand it completely (im a gatekeeper, so make sure you do have one to make it easier) plus, sometimes i also go to co-con and guide them to make sure its actually being done (i don't want to spoil them via co-front because they have to be self sufficient and adapting). But sometimes others are also able to pick it up and remember those things themselves via co-con but not as usual.

For carrier, man, this, this is also a hard one,, but possible. Our people kept rambling about "let's pick being a graphic designer", "no don't do that, pick psychology", "why not just freelance?" and etc etc. so we scheduled a whole day dedicated for voting, discussing, jotting down pros and cons in a career, and other things like background researching and seeing prices for applying to each major, you know it. And we ended up at Hospitality/Hotel Management major.. i don't know the other name for it. We chose this because most of us are capable on performing hospitality, cooking, socializing,, something that doesn't require doing tasks were difficult on (for us its complex calculation, formula memorization).

Because experiences isn't a foolproof way to find solutions, here are my thoughts on what you can do that can help too:

For daily task, by using post-notes or in an app, write all the to-do for the day and another one for the daily routine,, make it clear that anyone can add to the list or cross it out if something changes. if you don't like notes then if it's possible by updating the person before it fronts (not possible for involuntary fronts tbh).

For choice of career, why not list who can do what, who gets out the most, who is responsible enough to carry on menial task/jobs, which hobbies pops out the most (this is because it has a potential to make it the main choice of career), rethink which from those listed are easier to manage and pursue (the major for career part) and cross the harder ones out, then discuss, vote vote vote, choice decided. finished.

Hope this helps, kuddos to you.

- j

[manonamora-if-reviews]

Hand Me Down by Brett Witty

============= Links

Play the game (IFComp) See other reviews of the game

============= Synopsis

Ruby Walker takes a hesitant bus ride to the hospital where her father has spent the last nine months. But he has not called her there to discuss his condition. With James, her supportive partner by her side, Ruby is about to discover a deeply personal project decades in the making.

============= Other Info

Hand Me Down is a Twine(Harlowe)/TADS game, submitted to the 2023 Edition of the IFComp.

Status: Completed Genre: Slice-of-life

CW: Terminal illness, divorce, very mild rough language /- AI asset

============= Playthrough

Played: 9-Oct-2023 Playtime: around 1h Rating: - [IFComp vote] Thoughts: Will pinch your heart...

============= Review

Hand Me Down is a choice-based/parser mix game in three parts, with the middle one being the parser. You play as Ruby, who is visiting her father in the hospital (the Twine bits), during which she is prompted to play a project (the TADS bit) her father made. The parser bit includes an external walkthrough. While there are multiple ways to solve the parser, the story is linear, and with four ending.

Spoilers ahead. It is recommended to play the game first. The review is based on my understanding/reading of the story.

I'm always interested in non-traditional IF, the projects that mix and match elements of different gameplays, and blur the lines of the parser/choice-based divide. I was especially intrigued with this entry how the parser bit was implemented into Twine, especially with code from another parser language (separate files, it turns out).

And the game introduces the inclusion of a parser bit inside the game, and why you play it, quite smartly. Out of all three acts, I felt like the opening of the game was the strongest, introducing the characters and their wants and fears, and the relations between them. It was very touching, and also heartbreaking, to see Ruby and her father interact with one another, as he wants to avoid any negative conversation with her and to focus on showing her his project, while she wants to know what's going on with his health.

The weakest, to me, was the last bit. While the storylet mechanic was pretty well done (really worked with pushing your father to talk things out), there were some issues with that part not taking into account the actions of the previous acts or within that bit itself. For example, when calling the mother for advice, it did not take into account that I lied to her in the opening; or when she calls, disrupting the conversation, she doesn't acknowledge you called her moments ago; or when discussing the game with your dad, you have options to pick invitations or outfits you might not have found in the game (that one felt a bit cheating). Since it's hard to implement different programs into one game, it made sense that the bits didn't "talk" to each other. But it also made it noticeable when things were not fully coherent. I wonder if creating codes for actions in the previous act, to input in the last one could have helped track some choices?

I think I missed quite a bit from the parser bit itself. That part of the game seemed to be quite large (you have essentially 5 solutions for each box to tick), with apparently Easter eggs hidden throughout (notes of the father - I found one). Each item to get come with its personal puzzle, over 15 of them, each of varying length. But if you don't try to find every invitations, or costumes, or gift, or if you used the walkthrough to go through the parser, it's fairly easy to miss the seemingly gargantuan work the father had done over the past 20 years. I shared Ruby's sentiment of "uh... that's it?" when I moved on to the last act, and felt bad for the father for having put so much work into something that seemed so small... I would have loved a map to be included in the walkthrough, some of the directions were confusing...

This was a neat experiment, with a touching story. A real tearjerker.

[mariacallous]

I’ve been in academics for more than 20 years as a member of the physics faculty at Southeastern Louisiana University in Hammond, Louisiana. Here, the department is small enough that all of us get to share in the course load, which is quite nice—it gives me an opportunity to teach a wide range of courses, from physical science (for non-science majors) all the way up to quantum mechanics.

During the first years of the pandemic, everyone in education had to adapt, and most of our activities weren't conducted in the most ideal environment. At my school, we started off by moving all classes online using Google Meet. (That wasn’t too much fun.) This was supplemented with short lecture videos. (I actually enjoyed making those.) Next, we implemented a hybrid model where some students would be in class and some would be online. (This was terrible.)

While remote learning can have some advantages, as a teacher I noticed that we all picked up some bad habits over the past couple of years. Have you noticed that after a holiday, when you’ve sat around and watched too much football while eating more than you normally would, you might not be at your regular level of fitness? Well, the same thing can happen with learning.

With exercise, you know that after the holidays you have to hit the gym or get outside in order to get back in shape and feel ready to take on the world. With learning, I think it is more about figuring out how to constructively use the technologies that helped us go remote instead of relying on them as a crutch.

Smartphones

It can be shocking to realize how much power we carry around with us all the time. Not only is your phone a very powerful computer, it also has a decent camera and a host of other sensors.

And smart phones often belong in school: It's possible to use your phone to collect and analyze data. For an experiment, students can use the accelerometers in the phone to measure the distance an elevator travels. Or how about using a long-exposure photo to measure the speed of the International Space Station? You can even solve physics problems by creating Python code right on your phone, or use built-in lidar to create 3D maps of a room.

In larger lecture-style classes, as a first step in class discussions, I have the students use their phones to vote their answers to conceptual questions. (One of my favorites is about the acceleration of a tossed ball at its highest point. A common answer is that since the velocity is zero, the acceleration is also zero—but that’s not true. In fact, if the acceleration was zero at the highest point where the velocity is also zero, the ball would just magically appear to be stationary.)

However, there is one way the students use their phones in class that I think is not always such a good idea: They take pictures of everything. (Admittedly, this has been going on for a while, so it’s not purely pandemic-related.) Now, don't get me wrong—I also take a lot of pictures. Photos are not just a great way to capture memories of your favorite dog; they can also serve as a reminder of things we need to do, like taking a picture of the grocery list. So what's the problem with students taking a picture in class of a physics solution or the derivation of an equation?

Let me give a real life example. It's my introductory physics course, and I'm going over a practice problem. I find it to be useful to model effective problem-solving strategies so that students can see the entire process. Of course, students have an opportunity to ask questions as I demonstrate the solution, and I pause several times to let them attempt each part before progressing. Once we make it to the end, the problem is finished, and at least part of the solution is written on the board. (Sometimes stuff gets erased.) Before you know it, some phones come out. Snap!

Why is that bad? I think it encourages students to think of physics problems as being like the game Pokémon Go, where the object is to capture as many solutions as possible. But it’s not: The process is important, not the solution.

I don’t mind if the student is just taking a picture to help them remember the result, intending to go back and work through the whole thing on their own. That's not a bad idea. However, I'm just afraid that all too often a student feels that the solution is the goal. Having the answer is not the same as understanding.

Or take the example of students who start off working on a problem in pairs using presentation boards mounted around the room. After working for five minutes, each student will move to a new board with a new student to work for five more minutes. This goes for three or four rounds until most pairs have solutions. (I got this idea from a fellow physics educator; it's called whiteboard speed dating.)

Sometimes these speed dating problems are a little difficult. Students can find it challenging to even start. They are afraid to put something on the board that might be wrong, because no one wants to be wrong. Wouldn't it be better to just not write anything down and wait? I mean, surely Dr. Allain (that's me) will eventually go over the solution and then boom, phone picture!

When this happens, I tell the class the following very important idea: "It's better to do something wrong than to see something right."

Those mistakes are part of the learning process. You can't expect to always get everything right when you are learning. It would be like going to basketball practice but not taking any shots because you are afraid that you might miss. Yes, you are going to miss. Missing a goal is how you get better at taking shots. The same is true for physics or any type of learning.

In the end, I let my students take photos, because there’s a chance they might actually use the pictures in a practical way. Also, banning phones would mean that I couldn't have any phone-based classroom activities, and it might send the wrong message that I have all the answers and the students need to earn those answers through hard work. Instead, the answers are just the tip of the iceberg.

But if you’re a student heading back to school in January, and your teacher allows phones in class, my advice would be to take pictures if you need to save something off the board. But don’t stop there. Force yourself to go back and work through any problems or solutions from those pictures. Treat the photo as the beginning of the learning process, not the end.

Online Answers

There's another place where the students’ focus on answers—instead of the learning process—is clearly visible: websites that give solutions to physics problems. During the pandemic, students took advantage of these more often, because more assessment was moved to an online form, which makes it easier to cheat. And because these sites are becoming more popular, there are now more of them. This makes me sad. The problem is that students can just copy a solution without understanding it, and it's all too obvious that many times this is exactly what happens.

Consider the following very common projectile-motion problem that is covered in just about every physics textbook: A ball is launched horizontally off a table that is 1.2 meters above the floor, and it hits 1.7 meters from the starting point. What is the launch velocity of the ball?

The problem is normally solved by looking at the horizontal and vertical motions separately. (That's the cool part of projectile motion.) Just about every textbook calls the horizontal velocity vx and the vertical velocity vy. So, when a student submits a solution using u for the horizontal velocity and u' (called u-prime) for the vertical velocity, it just looks weird. Why would they pick those symbols for the variables? You know why: They found the answer online.

You might think that if instructors assigned unique physics problems, the students would actually create their own solutions. That doesn't work. I can make something weird (and honestly quite fun) for a physics question, but students post it online within hours. It would actually be funny if it weren't so bad for learning. And even worse, someone is making serious money from these online solutions, which often require a subscription to their services.

If you’re a student who is tempted to use online answers, I’d urge you to use them only to work through a part of a problem that you are stuck on or to double-check that you’ve understood the problem correctly.

Attending Class

There's one more thing that students have a problem with lately—going to class.

Online learning isn't all bad; in fact, for some learners, it offers opportunities that weren't there before. Videos can help students keep up with class—well, if they actually watch them—and they provide an opportunity to review material that was perhaps a bit confusing. Going remote gives students a certain amount of flexibility to compensate for things that happen in real life, like catching the flu or getting a flat tire. Life happens, and it would be a shame to miss out on school. And it can be a bonus in Louisiana: When we have to cancel class because of a hurricane (yes, that happens), we won’t lose much class time since we can just switch to an online mode.

But there's something about in-person classes that I've found difficult to replicate in an online environment. I like to think of a physics class as a community of learners. Students can play the role of educator and learner at the same time when they interact with their peers. (And don't forget the other learner in the course—the instructor. Even teaching an introductory physics course, I still find some new understanding every time I teach it, which is why I love it so much.)

If you’re a teacher, there’s so much more that can be done during class time than just lecturing. You can have students work on problems—or even better, have them find the error in a solution to a problem. You could have them create problems that other students could solve. Honestly, the possibilities are endless. If you are looking for more ideas (at least in physics), check out the American Association of Physics Teachers’ resource site: Compadre.org.

If you are a student, try to attend class as much as possible. Don't think of it as though you are in a movie theater watching a bunch of answers. Instead, use that time to engage in all the learning opportunities.

In the end, the goal is to practice, not to get everything right. When it comes time to work on your homework, let yourself get stuck. Work the problem to the point where you don’t know what to do anymore. Getting stuck is the first step to getting unstuck, right? After all, if you don't have any troubles with a physics problem, then you either already understood it or it wasn't that great of a problem to begin with.

[lettucedloophole]

I'm a bit confused by the not-voting thing? I think it would be really bad if Trump won. Like right-wing rhetoric on racial minorities has been getting worse and worse (e.g. the whole thing with inciting racial hatred through lies of "Haitian migrants eating pets"). It also hasn't been as much of a focus lately but they're obviously still extremely anti-LGBT (e.g. last year Michael Knowles said that "transgenderism" must be completely eradicated). I know this is still focusing on Americans, but we also really shouldn't deceive ourselves into thinking that the USA being ruled by fascists wouldn't have global consequences. I know you said that joining organizations against it is a better solution than voting, but that's much harder to do once the fascists are in power (e.g. in Nazi Germany communists were one of the first groups that the Nazis cracked down on since they were the biggest threat to them).

I hope this doesn't come off as antagonistic because that's not my intention at all. I don't really blame people for not voting Democrat because of the Gaza genocide since it's so horrible (if the genocide causes Trump to win then I fully blame the Democrats for it). But I just genuinely don't understand what the actual benefit is from not voting. If we don't vote, and Harris wins anyways, what was the benefit? If we don't vote and Trump wins, what was the benefit?

these are fair questions. i do want to correct you though and say the U.S. is already ruled by fascists who are commiting genocide and putting immigrants into camps. the 99% hitler comparisons are apt.

my reasons are potentially selfish and maybe misguided? the benefit of not voting and harris wins anyway is i didn't have a part in it, but that doesn't mean much when Living in America Is having a part in it. the benefit that has nothing to do with me is to show democrats genocide is not an acceptable platform and potentially spur them into not doing that, but i don't think that's going to happen either realistically. the most likely benefit is introducing america to an actual left-wing if jill stein or claudia de la cruz get a lot of votes. another benefit is a potential disillusionment from liberals when they see harris continue to fund genocide and fuck over trans people and women, but i don't know to what degree harris is going to do that and if it would change anything.

the benefits and detriments of trump winning are more significant. it's obviously bad in that he'll hurt more marginalized americans. practically though, and this belief is rather accelerationist which i've Heard is bad, i think a trump presidency is more likely to expose america's true colours as a fascist state get moderates off their asses to do something. i don't know how likely that is either, and it would cost more lives, which is why i can't possibly bring myself to fully embrace that and vote for trump either.

this is not directed at you, but i would get pissed off if someone shit their pants at my 'accelerationism'. vote blues tout being strategic and making tough choices for the greater good but it's really just the greater good for americans. i find that so, so maddening, that even in radical spaces the primary consideration is americans.

it really seems like there's no winning here. i feel really lost and i don't think my thought process is perfect either, so i don't mind criticism or a questioning of where i'm coming from. i would love to hear ideas of alternatives but it feels like there are so little choices. what could i do that's meaningful alone?

it does seem like voting blue is the obvious choice if only for americans, though i think a 100% hitler would also be a little bit worse for the world. that's not people's primary concern, though.

i'm frustrated by my powerlessness here. to psychoanalyze myself, maybe i'm just lashing out against people in my life like my parents who ultimately believe the well-being of Our Great Nation is the most important just because we live here, and we can't do anything about how bad it is but we're fine so Vote Blue. i'm actually so sick of it. i feel really hopeless.

i feel like any choice i could make would be selfish. oh you voted harris to improve life for yourself and your fellow americans? oh you voted trump out of some misguided effort to sabotage america? oh you voted stein because you put some idealistic notion over the reality of the situation and the lives of people? i just can't stomach it. talking about it makes me sick, but i guess it's my Civic Duty to vote! so i guess i'll choose... being selfish no. 3!

idk man. i'm just sick of this place

[shahronak47]

Problems with democracy.

When I was growing up, I was always under the impression that democracy was the best way to govern a country. It was always portrayed very strongly by using phrases like government of the people, by the people, and for the people. Dictatorship or communist way of ruling a country is very oppressive. However, as I have grown up and read/experienced different things I have started seeing some flaws in democracy and I doubt if it is the best way to govern a country. Here, I want to put across certain thoughts that I have regarding the same.

I am going to mostly speak about democracy in an Indian context since that is what I am most aware of.

Firstly, in a developing country like India, not everyone is capable of thinking long-term. They are highly influenced by short-term results and decisions. If we are going to allow 1.4 billion people to have an opinion where the collective intellectual is low (?), it is going to create chaos and directionlessness.

When you are trying to give a ticket to a candidate in a particular locality, the most important parameter that you have to consider is the religion of the candidate vs that of the majority of people in the locality. How much influence does that person have in the locality? Unfortunately, it is not based on the work he/she has done in that area or their vision of the locality they are serving. The party needs to select candidates from specific communities if they have the majority in that area irrespective of their skillset because that is how people vote. So if there is a Muslim candidate in a Hindu majority locality who is very well educated, with a clear vision, and is not corrupt. The chances of that person getting a ticket are very low because people still vote based on religion. The opposite also is true about a Hindu candidate in the Muslim majority. In the long-term whose loss is that? When a candidate can take you from 1-10 in 3 years, you settle with a candidate who'll only take you from 1-3 in 3 years. In the worst case, some candidates also take you in negative but people still vote for the candidate based on their beliefs.

They also need to lure people to vote for them by introducing freebie schemes which are a disaster for the nation. The majority of people find free buses and electricity as beneficial. Again, they don't understand that nothing is free in this world. Someone somewhere is paying for that stuff. States are going more into debt by announcing such free schemes. The political parties do not worry about finance nor do they worry about the state or country for that matter. If my announcing these schemes gets me elected for the next 5 years let me do it, the financial burden would be taken care of by the next person and you know what the worst part of this is? Other states seeing this start demanding the same thing which takes more states into debt making the country poorer. Again the short-term benefit of free busses introduces the long-term impact of higher taxes. However, people seem to be ok with it. I am not saying that there should not be anything free in the country. Definitely, some people are extremely poor and they deserve this free scheme but it should be a very small percentage. Making bus travel for all the women or all the elderly is not a wise move in my opinion.

People with criminal histories are given tickets because they always get elected. Political parties need seats and they are ok to accept anyone in their party as long as they win the elections. Political parties say that only these people get elected so we need to give them the seat whereas people say that we have only such people on our list so we don't have any other option to vote. Both of them point fingers at each other.

Personally, as a solution, I have started tilting away from democracy at least in the initial period. Until a country reaches some x% of individuals who are educated and y% of GDP per capita income till that time the reigns of a country should be given to one person who we collectively believe in as our leader and trust who has good intentions for the country. Give them a free hand to do whatever they want to without the fear of losing their chair. Lots of decisions, policymakers are feared to take because it is bad in the short term for the people but in the long term, they will yield good results. Because of a lack of education, a lot of people can only look at the short-term results so such decisions can be taken now since you have a free hand. Give that person 15 years and see what he can do.

After you achieve the key milestones of x% of education and y% of per capita GDP we switch back to democracy mode hoping that the mentality of most people is now changed and they have country country-first approach in mind rather than me first or my caste first or my religion first.

The major part has to be played by common people. In a democracy, political parties are going to become what we want them to become. All the parties have some corrupt people, some criminals, etc. If we really don't have a candidate in our constituency that we can support can we choose the None of the above (NOTA) option. It has been built for this purpose. There are less than 1% of people who vote for this option but I think we should increase this percentage so that these parties start taking it seriously and then talk with people asking them why they chose this option.

Moreover, there should be a feeling of ownership. When I see my house is dirty, the first thing I am going to do is start cleaning it before pointing fingers at others that they did it and they should clean it. It is not my responsibility to clean the house.

[crazy-pages]

I'm going to start by saying that this isn't telling anyone to not vote for Biden. I think the points everybody is making above are good and important. My problem isn't with the idea that we should vote for Biden instead of Trump, it's what the article OP posted says about the author's political understanding, and how scary it is to me that this is the political understanding of much of our establishment left wing.

Okay, let's talk politics here.

We have always been aware that political excitement hinges on heartstring issues and a perception of just and fair play, more than decent day to day governance. That's not to say you can't have decent day to day governance, but it's got to have a compelling narrative heart to it. This is just how politics works and no one in politics is surprised by this.

Which is why articles like the above feel disingenuous to me. They're all "Woe, how could Biden be polling so poorly, this is inconceivable!!!" But then they give a list of *checks notes*.

50 year violent crime low ... not Biden's doing, predates him and is a pretty constant reduction across presidents.

Unemployment is low ... but also Biden came in on the receding edge / collective ignoring of Covid, that's not surprising, and also those unemployment metrics radically lie to miscategorize people who haven't had work in >6 months, which most people feel even if they don't know the specifics.

The DOW ... AHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA oh my fucking god they think people who are frustrated with US politics still believe the DOW means the economy is doing well.

More Americans than ever have health insurance and we're producing more energy ... results of increasing population size for the most part, not policy decisions.

Articles like this pretend they don't understand why Biden polls poorly (or god help us they actually don't understand), because he is doing decent day to day governance within the framework of our system and the classic metrics of Successful President™️ are doing alright. But the problem is - and this is always been the truth about politics forever and anyone pretending to not understand this is either delusional or a fool - that's not how politics works.

Those metrics used to be a measure of successful presidency because there was a strong narrative around them. It was part of the Cold War narrative, the rah rah capitalism narrative. Order in the streets, the glory of the stock market, stability and security through your employer! That narrative turned banal statistics into a force a president could get elected on.

But the narrative has changed.

There is an understanding that the system as it currently exists isn't a good thing. It may be better for the system to continue working well then to collapse entirely, but that doesn't mean the system working well is politically motivating.

The DOW going up isn't a good thing, it's an indicator that billionaires are raking in profits at our expense when we go to the grocery store or we pay rent.

More Americans having healthcare doesn't feel motivating when we are so aware that public healthcare is an option, and every single time we make use of that healthcare feels like having the insurance companies drag you through the streets by your guts.

Lowish unemployment (if you cook the numbers) is better than the alternative, but it doesn't make people feel motivated when workplace abuses are on the rise, monopolies are suing to destroy the National Labor Relations Board, everyone's wages are depressed, and the White House solution seems to be "Don't worry, we've got the system functioning again and it will fix things!". And yeah, a functioning Department of Justice is going to allow the less abuses through than a fully collapsed one, but this is still the same core system that led to these problems in the first place. There is an awareness that a lack of serious fundamental changes means things will still get worse.

That's not motivating. And I don't say this to tell people not to vote for Biden versus Trump, but to chide the people writing articles like that who pretend like this is shocking and baffling and incomprehensible.

It's not! It's practically politics 101! Democratic elections live and die on narratives, and banal statistics only help you if there is a strong narrative backing them up! But the narrative among people disillusioned with US politics, at whom this kind of baffled rhetoric is directed, have a narrative to which this kind of banal pride in lightly massaged statistics is demotivating rather than motivating!

So what are the big heartfelt narratives around Biden? Well, there used to be an underwhelming narrative about him being ineffective which he wasn't combating very well, I think in large part because his team doesn't understand why these banal statistics worked 30 years ago in the first place. But beyond that there just ... wasn't really a narrative. He kind of made some half-hearted efforts to turn bipartisanship and righting the ship into his narrative, but again there was a lack of understanding which prevented that from getting off the ground. For a while there was kind of a weak narrative about Biden doing the difficult and ignoble work of fixing old mistakes, when we pulled out of Afghanistan?

And then October 7th happened.

And the United States careened right back off the cliff into a Middle East conflict, this time wholeheartedly funding genocide.

And damn if Genocide Joe isn't catchier then "Less than 4% of Americans are unemployed, and if that seems wrong it's because our government massages the unemployment statistics to ignore people who leave work to care for family members or have been out of work for more than 6 months or any number of other factors, but that's still a better statistic than it was a could years ago during the plague, so let's give Biden a hand!"

This isn't surprising. This isn't baffling. This isn't confusing. This isn't abnormal. This isn't a paradox. The fact that left leaning people are disengaging from politics when Joe Biden is objectively a safer electoral choice on every front than Donald Trump is. Not. Surprising.

This is the basic principle of political election in the United States where voting is not mandatory and turnout is low. Elections live and die on enthusiasm. Enthusiasm lives and dies on a good narrative. And Biden was trying to limp along on a deeply outdated narrative running directly contrary to the modern zeitgeist, until he leapt dick first into a genocide.

This is politics 101 and it always has been this way here and it is many things, including terrifying to me, but it should not be surprising.

“By the usual measures, Biden should be cruising to reëlection. Violent crime has dropped to nearly a fifty-year low, unemployment is below four per cent, and in January the S. & P. 500 and the Dow hit record highs. More Americans than ever have health insurance, and the country is producing more energy than at any previous moment in its history. His opponent, who is facing ninety-one criminal counts, has suggested that if he is elected he will fire as many as fifty thousand civil servants and replace them with loyalists, deputize the National Guard as a mass-deportation force, and root out what he calls “the radical left thugs that live like vermin within the confines of our country.””

— Joe Biden’s Last Campaign

[thoughts-on-bangtan]

Just read your post and agree with everything, esp about bad ship theories. One thing you said, kinda stuck out. The voting argument where Jimin went without JK, so therefore they seem to live in different areas. Then does this mean you think Vmin live in different areas? I mean, if they have been together for years, why would they not be living together? IDK, I just always kinda felt Vmin low key live together this whole time, but now your answer has me doubting that. You don't think Vmin do?

Admin 2: Hello anon,

In my reply I will try to convey to you my personal point of view in regard to Vmin and their relationship and in this case, how I see the question of them of living together.

The fact that four BTS members voted at the polling stations of their district shows that not all of them are registered in Hannam in their shared dorm.

We know, and it is no secret, that Taehyung bought an apartment in autumn 2019 in which, as you can see, he also seems to be registered. We know that Hobi and Jungkook bought their apartments at the end of 2018 in the same building and supposedly even on the same floor. Taehyung has posted photos from what looks like his apartment more than once and it is no secret that he owns and stays in this apartment. During some program on TV, one of his Wooga squad friends talked to Taehyung on FaceTime, who seemed to be at home in his apartment and wondered what he should eat.

Of course, there is more information from illegal sources, but we will not touch any of that.

It is known about Jimin and his living situation that his apartments (building) are under renovation.

Ok that's official facts of things we know. However, we do not know what the actual living situation of the individual members looks like.

Actually, all options are theoretically possible, but based on some logical considerations, some arrangements can be deduced. The fact that Taehyung is not registered in the dorm does not mean that he does not live there, or at least that he does not stay for a long time.

Jimin likely being officially registered as living at the dorm does not deny that he could also spend some time at Taehyung’s apartment. Do you understand what I'm going for? However, I exclude that officially Vmin or any couple could officially be live together. We have heard more than once about the obsessiveness of fans, about the stalking of the saessangs, about them occupying whatever buildings BTS are staying at, about the way they even go after the members families to get their hands on any kind of information’s.

Therefore, the best solution for Vmin is that they have access to Taehyung’s apartment. I think that in the dorm, and anywhere else (except for their bedrooms within the dorm), it would be impossible to lead any kind of relationship in peace.

There are all sorts of people at the dorm, their staff (like their managers) have success to the dorm and could just walk in at any time. The mere fact that Vmin (we assume they are a romantic couple) is in a fragile relationship and therefore any kind of leak, so to speak, would lead to a catastrophe. Antis and alike are just waiting for such "interesting" details from the private lives of the BTS members.

I believe that it is not possible to have any romantic relationship in a classic way within the group, and it is completely impossible for two members suspected of a romance to live together. (The same applies to J/k/ok etc.)

However, I am personally convinced that Vmin spends a lot of time together, even if only because they study together for their now master’s degree. I suspect they stay a lot together because Jimin wears Taehyung's clothes (especially his oversized boots) because even after work he was supposed to go to Tae (or Tae to Jimin) during the Billboard H100 # 1 night. We have screenshots of conversations with fans during games where Tae said he had to stop because Jimin had just made ramen, some other time he’d mentioned he was planning on doing something with Jimin the next day etc. Jimin said during Vlive in April 2020 that him and Tae like to go driving at night and many other things.

"Someday, when these cheers die down, stay hey

Stay with me by my side"

And that is also my opinion: A normal relationship will only be possible for Vmin when they are no longer the most famous musicians in the world living in a very conservative Korea, especially since they (and other members as well) still have to go to their military service in the VERY conservative Korean Army. Actual suspicions of a queer relationship within the group could and likely would only endanger the members during their service, just like I previously mentioned in my reply to an ask about Jin’s reaction to Taehyung’s “Jiminah I like you the most”.

I would also like to add some observations and thoughts to members speaking about their situation in life.

I have a strong impression that it doesn't matter so much to the fans whether Namjoon or Yoongi or even Jin live at the dorm or anywhere else.

What obsessive fans care about is where and with whom the maknaes live.

Therefore, I often get the impression that some dialogues, some scenes in RUN or interviews or other shows are shown in such a way that there is some confusion about who with who and confusion about where the maknaes live and whether they live together or not. I may be delulu, but I often get such an impression, especially when it comes to Jimin, that he deliberately says certain things in a way that can be interpreted in multiples ways, or like they mean something, even though likely it doesn’t mean anything at all.

We know Jimin is very private and doesn’t readily share private information’s, so it just seems like he “feeds” obsessive shippers, of whom I’m sure he’s well aware they are listening and just waiting for it, something that really is empty just so they have something to do, like JK saying he wants to make pizza at the end of some RUN episode to which Jimin asked “at home?” which was asked (or at least translated by weverse/vlive) in such a manner that shippers spent the next two weeks discussing what home he meant and if that means they do live together. Because of that, really, Jungkook can keep his privacy, as can vmin, since shippers will hold on to those empty phrases (fanservice) while the members can do whatever they want away from the cameras. Does that make sense? So, in the end, even if it seems like Jimin shared some insight into their living arrangements, we really still know nothing at all about where the maknaes live and with whom. It’s very smart PR and fits with the media training Idols in general seem to receive.

Edit: I read your comments and I want to clarify what I meant with the above part about Jimin, since I really didn’t mean to shift the blame for bad shipper behavior on him in any kind of way: 

I’m sure we’ve all seen bad shippers make the argument that the members that are part of their ship supposedly purposefully say certain things to send them “secret/hidden messages” or “hints” that “only they will understand” which in turn are meant to prove their ships. That’s what I meant by “seems to “feed””, not that he’s purposefully “lying” in their favor or feeding into their weird fantasies, but rather that the vague things he sometimes says, or his occasionally cheeky/teasing comments made in good fun with the other members, are taken by shippers and interpreted in ways to fit their narratives, even if what Jimin says has nothing to do with ships at all, he’s obviously just joking/teasing, or it’s just a vague “empty”/deflective statement to keep private info private. 

In all those cases the blame is on shippers and their bad behavioral habits of twisting the members words instead of listening properly and realizing that Jimin is joking or that what he said isn’t a hint or anything at all.

After all, Jimin said so much, supposedly, and yet we know nothing, not even about him and Taehyung studying together, which was quite literally never mentioned by them. Not even once in passing.

Of course, everything I've written is just my personal opinion and point of view. I could of course be totally wrong.

From anon: I agree that "Feeding the Schipers" isn't the happiest phrase, but I get what is going on. I think what J/m says and how he says it is like fodder for ships. I don't think he's doing it on purpose, however. Definitely not. J/m has this style of teasing, joking and shippers buying it as "secret confessions or notices" but a cool comment in general.

Admin 1: I’d like to quote myself from my asks post yesterday as reply to this ask, since it fits here as well:

Besides, at the end of the day, their living arrangements are not something we are privy to and that we shouldn’t try to figure out either. The members say they still live at the dorm, and if that’s the version they want us to believe, that’s the one I’ll stick to, unless they tell me otherwise.

[uncloseted]

How do I deal with being unattractive? Not like "I'm ugly (but I'm actually pretty)" but knowing you just don't catch people's eyes and your looks don't stand out. I know I'm like this because both of my friends are conventionally attractive and wherever we go they get looks, hit on, and on dating apps they constantly get matches and significant numbers of people wanting to sleep with them, whereas I get ignored or ghosted by people online and offline. I don't even really want to sleep with anyone, I just feel bad because I know I'm not beautiful and I'll never be the beautiful person but I want to move past it and forget my looks even exist tbh. Do you have any advice?

There's a lot to unpack when talking about beauty. I think typically the response to someone feeling unattractive is either denial of the person's feelings ("but you are pretty!"), a fallback on useless platitudes ("Everyone is beautiful!"), or a dismissal of beauty as something that holds value ("why do you care if you're pretty? That's so vain, there are more important things in life" or "beauty standards are just social constructs").

To a degree, I understand why people would say things like that. Many people who don't feel beautiful are still attractive to others. The beauty standards we hold are frequently xenophobic, racist, colorist, homophobic, transphobic, ageist, and ableist. There are all sorts of things that are more important than being beautiful, like the quality of a person's character or the contributions they've made to the world around them.

But I don't think those responses make the experience of being unattractive or unremarkable but wanting to be beautiful any easier. We can cognitively understand that the standards of beauty we're held to are problematic while still wanting to be beautiful. So what's the solution? I think there are probably a few different options that need to work together.

First, there are external ways to become attractive. There's the obvious, like finding makeup looks that make you feel pretty (or attract other people to you), or finding clothing styles that really suit your body, or, at the more extreme end, getting cosmetic procedures done to change how you look. I recognize that this is a bit of a problematic suggestion given that we're all supposed to learn to love ourselves the way we are and never put any effort into "improving" our appearance, and I feel a kind of kneejerk reaction of guilt for moving away from that. But fashion and cosmetics are such giant industries for a reason; they make people feel more beautiful. And in a world that insists on beauty, I don't think there's anything wrong with using the tools available to us to feel more beautiful.

As an extension of the physical, or perhaps, as an alternative, you could focus on style instead of beauty. This idea of style as an alternative to beauty is one that I was introduced to through a Contrapoints video where Natalie discusses her own relationship to beauty. In it, she talks about how a person can be stylish at any age, regardless of if your physical appearance is conventionally attractive. It's a way to cultivate a personal visual aesthetic for yourself, one that lets people know who you are without having to conform to beauty standards. Style is a way to stand out and to be seen, beauty or not.

Which, in a roundabout kind of way, brings me to my second point- the internal. Oftentimes, I think we approach physical attractiveness as if it's a purely physical trait, but that's not really the case. Think about the women who are consistently voted as "the most attractive woman alive". They're not usually the blonde, baby faced lingerie models that we (culturally) think of as the pinnacles of beauty. They're typically actresses. And sure, they're physically beautiful, at least, after the cosmetic surgeons, makeup artists, stylists, hairdressers, and photo editors have done their jobs (you would be surprised how many celebrities aren't naturally beautiful).

But more than being physically attractive, they're charismatic. It may sound cliched or a bit mumsy, but I really do think that we're attracted to confidence and charisma more than we are to how a person physically looks. And that's why style works; it's a physical expression of confidence in yourself, a visual expression of charisma.

So, okay, then, how do we build charisma? MacArthur “genius” psychologist Angela Duckworth says that charisma basically boils down to communicating, “I like you and I like me/the world likes me”. If you want to communicate that you like someone else, eye contact, saying their name in conversation, and being interested in them and what they’re saying are all easy ways to do it. Communicating, “I like me” or “the world likes me” is more complicated, and it’s really where confidence comes into play.  Smiling, not being self-deprecating, and holding yourself in a way that communicates confidence (open and with good posture) are all part of that. But to truly like yourself, you need to start building your self-confidence.

Building self-confidence is a process, but I would start with a simple exercise. Every morning, look at yourself in the mirror and say some things you like about yourself.  Focus on those things that you like and try to only focus on those things.  Each day, try to add a new thing to the list.  When you’re out and about, remember those things that you like about yourself, focus on them, and try to draw attention to them.  When other people compliment you, add those to your list as well.  I think eventually by recognizing all of the things that you like about yourself, you’ll be able to feel like there are things about you that you can be confident in, and you won’t focus so much on the things that you feel are negative. These don't have to be just physical attributes; include things about your personality and your relationship to world as well.

Another thing you can try is looking for celebrities who you find beautiful who have similar traits to the ones you dislike in yourself. It can be hard to appreciate our own traits or see them as beautiful, but sometimes seeing them on someone else can help us to realize that actually, they can be really pretty.

Finally (and sorry this has been so long, there really was a lot to talk about here), it's okay to totally move past how you look and to adopt a policy of body neutrality. You don't owe anyone physical beauty. You can live a fulfilled life without being attractive. Your body is capable of doing all sorts of things that allow you to engage with the world, and that is more than enough. Practicing body neutrality may include things like being grateful that your legs allow you to walk from point A to B, or that your arms allow you to hug your loved ones, or that your lungs allow you to breathe. It may look like wearing clothes that are comfortable for you instead of focusing on how they look. It may look like caring for your body because regardless of how you feel about it, it's the only one you have. It may be focusing on your passions and goals and appreciating how your body allows you to achieve them. It's okay to not want to engage with beauty as a concept.

[werevulvi]

Has radical feninism improved your life at all? What do you get out of it that other subbranches of feminism or trans activism don't give or offer?

You know what? Sometimes I ask myself the same question, lmao. It's a harsh branch, and I find myself unhappy with it as I have with any other ideology. But despite that, I still hold onto radfem, at least half-assedly. Because despite the greviances I may have with some of it, it is the only branch of feminism that is based on reality. The harsh, painful reality that tries to break me down. And I guess keeping my chin up in that sorta weather makes me feel stronger and more powerful.

Radfem helped me forgive myself for being female, and to dig into my internalised misogyny, which helped me find self-love. That is invaluable. Although that's not saying I think I owe radfem in any way. It also made me more angry at the world and feeling more trapped and hopeless. Because if I can't escape my female sex, then wtf can I even do? And can I even cry "misogyny" when I'm being rejected things I always thought I could take for granted as a woman/girl, perhaps even discriminated against, based on my masculine appearance? Or is it all my fault?

I felt my internalised misogyny get better after tons of self-therapy and healing, only to feel it again plummet to the bottom again, when I noticed that I'm being treated on some kind of a mass scale just for the way I look. Can feminism help me? Is that selfish of me to even utter? Who knows. I am not a collective of common women's issues to bring to the table. I am just me. Me and my stupidly unique issues.

But what I need to remember is that my suffering is none of radfem's fault. It only opened my eyes. I knew I might likely hate what I'd see if I did. Yet, I still chose to open my eyes. What depresses me is patriarchy, and frankly trans activism and it's near constant putting sticks in my wheels.

It might be petty, but to me, understanding that biological sex is immutable is not only the scientifically correct understanding of biology, but also the most logical one, but perhaps most of all... it's the only thing I can base my womanhood on. Trans activism is incredibly quick to discredit me as a woman because I transitioned and don't like "looking like a woman" (I dunno what that looks like, but I know it's not how I look) because they deem it transphobic to base womanhood (or manhood) on biological sex. Even when I do not even discredit trans women as women. (I mean I kinda do, but not like publically. I tread around that topic like a sleeping wolf.)

Honestly, I'm way too much of a nihilist (realist/pessimist) to even be able to hope that patriarchy can be torn down, within my lifetime or ever, so in regards to making real life changes... feminism is kinda pointless. The world is just too rotten. But I guess I see it as that I'd rather die trying, you know.

Although my allegiance to radfem specifically is waning. I don't like the collectivism part of it, nor do I like most suggested solutions like the Nordic model for solving the issue of prostitution (I'm a Swede, we have it here, it's awful, I'd rather vote for the Australian model.) As a starch centrist and libertarian, I also strongly disagree with the heavy socialist (not rarely even communist) thread that runs through radfem. Although I really don't care to fight others for being socialists, I just can't fully agree with that.

So with my string of rather small, but still, perpetual disagreements with probably most radfems... I'm straying all the more from the ideology as a whole. I'd say I more consider myself just a gender critical feminist nowadays. Which yeah, is probably "practically the same" for an outsider, but for someone's who's been digging around in it for a while... there's whole lotta difference between, for example Andrea Dworkin (radical feminist) and Posie Parker (gender critical feminist) and not just because the latter wears more makeup than the former did, lol. But that's not saying I'm 100% onboard with Posie's opinions either. They're both just examples.

With that all said, I think it's important for me now to take what I agree with about radfem and leave the rest behind me. Take what I like about trans activism, and leave the rest behind me. Think for myself, form my own opinions and walk my own road, come what may. I've never been much of the type that flocks or relate to whole communities.

But has radfem improved my life at all?

Yes, definitely. It taught me there's nothing wrong with being female. It taught me that womanhood has nothing to do with outward appearance or what sex stereotype you wish look like. It made me aware of my internalised misogyny, and helped me understand my sexual traumas better as well. All of that and more... helped me heal tremenduously. It made me realise that it's in being female I find all the gender comfort and stability I'll ever need... without even trying. That was groundbreaking for me, and it still is. Radfem gave me the view of womanhood that I sorely needed, which trans activism never could. And I am forever grateful for that. I said those same words 2 years ago shortly after I first detransitioned, and I will keep saying it.

I may casually call myself a "cis" woman, but it's just political and it's fun because the TRA's hate it. Someone like me openly identifying as a cis woman is exactly what the world needs... I think. Because that might actually change things. And that is... I think, probably the most impactful thing I can offer for feminism. My refusal to "look like a woman" (again, unsure what that means), yet being proudly a woman based solely on my biology. But I digress.

But point is I'm a "cis" woman by my own standards. I could never even possibly touch that label with a ten inch pole by TRA definition of it. This matters, because to them it's only trans and cis, and vast majority of people do not fit that model. No matter how much I listened to TRA's, they only ever had me spinning in circles, and radfem finally broke me free from that seemingly endless sphere. But I digress. Again. Fuck, it's 2am and I'm spiritually already asleep in bed. Was just gonna write a few sentences for a reply, I said. It will go quick, I said. Well, oh well... I think it's been an hour, and I need a smoke. So I won't proof-read this mess.

Sometimes I wonder if that's the only true "female liberation" there can be: to finally understand your trauma, and starting to defend/trand up for yourself and other women.

What radfem gave me was kind of a chance to turn my life all around, and finally transition from victim to survivor. And I think that's not a small gift. It's about the greatest thing I've ever gotten.

But please do keep in mind that I am a very multi-layered person. And most of the time I'm not even fully aware of what most of my brain is doing. Even when it’s not 2am. I'm not nearly as self-aware as I think I am, literally. I'm a bit fragmented still. Who knows what my billion different aspects and opinions are doing, but they’re surely not communicating, lmao. Alright I'mma go to sleep now. Sorry this response became so disorganised. It was a good vent though, and gave me a lot to think about, so I hope you like it.

[thedoralian]

A Conversation With Doral Council Candidate Oscar Puig

As part of our election 2020 coverage, we are conducting interviews with all candidates for local office that have chosen to accept our interview request. All candidates have been contacted. Oscar Puig is a 20 year resident of Doral, a vital part of its founding, and an active leader and participant in many of the city’s civic organizations. He is running for Doral Council Seat #3. Oscar endorses J.C. Bermudez for Mayor and Claudia Mariaca for Council Seat #1. He has been endorsed by J.C. Bermudez. In this article, The Doralian is proud to present it’s first interview. Let us know what you think! If you have any questions please DM. Please like, comment, and share! *This is not an endorsement*

Interview Transcript

Doralian: So, I want to start off by talking about your platform. Here at The Doralian, our goal is to inform the public. Unfortunately, many voters struggle to understand the stances brought by candidates for local office. Could you highlight maybe 2-4 pillars of your campaign that you want voters to know?

“1) Number 1, I would call continuation. We have built a wonderful city. Since I was involved in the creation of the city, I was one of the co-founders and we saw how the city deteriorated and zoning changes were made (before the city's incorporation and during Luigi Boria's mayorship) that weren’t supposed to be made and that's one of the things that I want to prevent. So, the continuation of these last four and the previous ones during JC's first years in office I think is important to maintain and have somebody that has the time invested like I do in the city for many years. That's one.

2) I think that with this pandemic, we will see a difficult time ahead of us because of budget shortfalls, as a lot of people are without a job. That's going to affect a lot of projects because of property taxes. People losing their homes. So I hope to be a voice to find solutions to help our residents, our business, so that if affected, we continue to ask the federal government, the state, and the county, for funds to help the citizens and the small businesses.

3) I am also big on two other things. One of them is small business. Aside and before the pandemic I was supported by 15 good, small sized business that have been here for a long time and I see that there's got to be a movement to help and facilitate the process of the city, which already started, I know that JC announced in their state of the union, several things that are going to help the small businesses and streamline the processes of the city, and I want to support that and make sure that small business can also do marketing events with the city. Marketing strategies with the city that can help them grow and ultimately push the theme that will help people understand that they can eat here, that they can play here, that they could have a good nightlife here, they can eat here. It's changed a lot, so you don't have to drive anywhere else. So, if we can, as a city, start a movement to keep people to spend within the city, they will help small businesses a lot.

4) The last one is the special needs and the elderly programs. I support them 100% and anything we can do to make them better. In the city of Doral, we have a lot of participants in Special Olympics. We have a great special needs program and I want to support them and the elderly of course, our most vulnerable, especially during these times when they're alone. So, look for ways that we can, even if it's digitally, help them not be alone and satisfy whatever needs they have.“

Doralian: The reason I’ve invited you here today is to try to highlight some of the distinctions between you and other candidates. My next question is, whether it involves your qualifications or policy stances, what makes you different from the other candidates?

“I don't think I like to talk about my differences with others. I'd like to say that my experience within the city, I've been involved since the year 2000, in many, many ways with schools, with the parks, with the city committees, selection committees, park director selection committees, and years back the city attorney selection committees. Important committees that I've participated in to service our community with my family and their families in mind. Just making sure that, like I said before, that we have a good transparent and effective government that represents the best interests of the residents at large, whether they vote or not. It's important to represent everybody and that the city is in good shape. My qualifications are my experience and dedication that I've given for the last 20 years to our city.”

Doralian: What is your individual take on the city’s public transportation system? What direction must the city turn to improve its public transportation infrastructure?

“As a city, for 20 years, we’ve done a lot to improve, but at the same time, we went from 20,000 to almost 70,000 residents, plus the 100,000 when we include all the people that come in and out of the city to work. It’s a positive, because we have a good base of employment and a good base of residents but at the same time it creates that whole complicated issue of traffic. I therefore believe that traffic is not just a Doral issue, I believe that Doral and every city in Miami Dade County and the County has to sit down and start looking for solutions of mass transit. Expand the rail. The growth we have had as an entire county has not been followed by investment needed in mass transportation. So, if we think of Doral only, we are not going to solve it, because when Palmetto and Turnpike are, you know, a bottleneck, there's hundreds of thousands of vehicles stuck there for hours, it's going to ripple down into the city because people cannot get on the highway, so then eventually creating traffic within the city. That's where we see most of the traffic, when people are going to get on the highway. And when you look at Doral during the weekend, we have very little traffic, if any, which is a great thing for us. So it's all created by this large base of businesses and residents that we have that are active during the week. So, I think this is a regional problem and we have to look at it that way, but continue to invest as a city: opening streets like we've done many, many times, we're now going to open 25th street to the turnpike, an exit and an entrance, so that's going to help traffic on 41st and 12th, even as high as 74th street. The major problem is regional, we have to make sure that we start investing in that and I want to be a loud voice to bring that to the table.”

Doralian: So, you mentioned rail for a second there and one mayoral candidate has proposed lobbying the county to bring rail to Doral. Do you support the expansion of Miami-Dade's Metrorail to Doral?

“I support it anywhere it goes. We will have to look at where and how, of course, those are things that are important, but in general, yes, that's what I'm talking about when I speak of mass transportation. But more than that I think Kendall area, a train from Kendall to the East and to the North is important, these are areas that are very effective because of the lack of mass transportation. Because we have rail here in Doral and some of our residents do take it. We have now a bus system that goes straight from the new area by 12th street all the way to downtown and those are great solutions. We need to continue this.”

Doralian: My next question is an attempt to understand what kind of development you would encourage while in office. I'd like to ask, in your vision of a future Doral, what does the city look like to you? Does it look more urban? Is there more mixed-use development like CityPlace or Downtown Doral in which residential districts are heavily mixed with entertainment districts? Or does it look more suburban, more classical Doral-like? Something like Doral Isles or Islands at Doral.

“That's what I'm talking about when I talk of a master plan. There's going to be areas that are going to be preserved as the more suburban, which is the West side of Doral, even though there was an application that was approved on 107th and 74th that brought some buildings. But still, now it's back on track, like the mayor says, so that shouldn't happen anymore. We have a good master plan now that prevents things like that from happening. I support that masterplan, we have to tweak it but yes, on the east side I support what's going on with Downtown Doral and CityPlace because one of the things that's going to prevent the traffic is the presence of an area where you can live, work, play, and learn. It's important because you don't have to get out and get in the car to do grocery shopping like it happens in Downtown Doral or take your kids to school or any of that. You know, you don't have to get out of that area at all. As a resident, you have it all there. That's a solution to traffic. People like it. I think a lot about the people that live in those areas and they enjoy it a lot. It's an easier life when you don't have to drive somewhere to eat or take the kids to school. I would embrace those.

Doralian: What specific policy proposals do you suggest for the city to help local struggling businesses?

I think again we have to find a balance, I think we are at a balance right now where you can go out and make sure that we continue to protect ourselves but at the same time closing businesses I don't think is the right solution. I think we have to, again, have a balance, make sure that businesses and people are following the CDC guidelines and whether they're in or outside the city. So, to me it’s important to have the economy moving because it could be a disaster later on to have the economy affected. But at the same time, we need to be proactive in getting involved and being part of the solution.

Doralian: Are there any candidates for the other local elections that you would like to endorse?

Yes, Claudia Mariaca and J.C. Bermudez

Doralian: Any closing comments? Is there anything you want residents of our city to know?

Yes, there is something that to me is very important. It's participation not only when you go out and vote but also participate as a resident in many ways and hopefully things will go back to normal soon and you can participate as a resident. Doing something that adds value to the city, to the residents, being part of the committees, getting involved with the parks, non-profits, the Chamber of Commerce, we are now going to have a Doral Contemporary Art Museum. See what's going on, the schools, the PTA, that's how I started, with the Chamber. To start getting involved and bringing solutions to the city I think is very important. I'm more than open to helping and guiding everyone that is interested in coming on board and knowing what I did and how I did it so they can do it better.