#soli's imagines

[hansolsticio]

✦ — "cherry on top". ᯓ c. seungcheol.

— namorado ! seungcheol × leitora. — 𝗰𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗴𝗼𝗿𝗶𝗮: smut. — 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗱 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁: 5986. — 𝗮𝘃𝗶𝘀𝗼𝘀: linguagem imprópria, penetração vaginal e anal, creampie, fingering, oral (f), praise kink (cheol r.), cheol atrevidinho, bebida alcoólica, quebras temporais & muito palavrão. — 𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗮𝘀: aniversário fora de época, pois tenho licença poética pra isso (não tenho não, mas colaborem aí).

Aniversários eram considerados especiais para Seungcheol desde que ele se entende por gente. Começou cedo, na família era comum dedicar o dia para fazer a felicidade do caçula que cultivou o apreço pela atenção que recebia nessa data tão especial até depois de adulto. Só que nos últimos tempos havia um diferencial no pedido que o homem fazia sempre que soprava as velinhas: você.

Seungcheol estava preso à necessidade de te incluir em cada detalhezinho dele mesmo, enquanto você estava empenhada em manter a tradição de celebrar o dia em que o amor da sua vida veio ao mundo intacta. Queria mostrá-lo que ele era especial e amado — fazia-o todos os dias é claro, mas aproveitar-se da data parecia o mais correto a se fazer.

Desde o início do relacionamento, a transição do calendário de sete para oito — exatamente à meia noite — era acompanhada de muito chamego e de uma sessão super calorosa de amorzinho que costumava durar até a manhã desse mesmo dia. Porém, dessa vez, Seungcheol não seguiu com os planos. Já fazia um tempo que o homem tinha uma pergunta a ser respondida:

"Okay. Hora de acabar com o suspense. Qual que é o meu presente?", perguntou ainda com seu corpo no colo, fez questão até de interromper o beijo entre vocês dois — estava empenhado.

"Suspense?", olhou-o intrigada.

"Sim. 'Cê 'tá fazendo um puta arrodeio com esse assunto faz umas duas semanas, mesmo eu falando que não precisa me dar nada.", a teimosia vinha de fábrica. Seungcheol era sempre relutante em deixar que você gastasse um centavo sequer com ele, pelo contrário, insistia em comprar coisas para você — mesmo que o dia fosse dele.

"É que eu quero te dar algo diferente, Cheollie..."

"Realmente não precisa, amor.", relutou mais uma vez. Manipulável, não foi páreo para um segundo sequer do biquinho que apareceu nos seus lábios. "Mas já que você quer tanto eu deixo dessa vez, mocinha.", rendeu-se."Então, fala 'pra mim: o que é?"

Foi sua vez de se deixar intimidar pela expressão do homem. De repente, estar sob o olhar dele era sinal de ameaça — ainda que ele não fizesse ideia alguma de seus planos. Desviou o olhar ocupando-se com o anel de compromisso que enfeitava seu dedo anelar.

"É algo que eu sei que você quer faz um tempo...", não conseguiu ser direta. Sequer sabe como chegou a conclusão de que queria dar isso à ele, precisou de um certo debate mental, mas estava certa de que realmente queria. Seungcheol pareceu notar o tom hesitante.

"A gente vai brincar de adivinhação?", arfou um risinho. Você acenou, ainda ignorando o olhar do homem à sua frente.

"Tá bom.", suspirou numa pausa, parecia pensar. "Eu já te pedi essa coisa?"

"Hmmmm... não. Não diretamente."

"Já tá me deixando confuso, princesa.", não precisou olhá-lo para ser capaz de identificar o biquinho que ele provavelmente fazia. Impaciente, detestava enrolação. "Me diz o que é. É mais fácil.", separou suas mãos na tentativa de chamar sua atenção, mas você só desviou o foco para o torso descoberto.

"Eu...", silêncio, absoluto silêncio.

"Tá com vergonha, amor?", outro aceno de cabeça e mais um suspiro da parte dele — voltariam ao jogo de adivinhação. "Tá... 'pra você agir desse jeito é porque envolve sexo, não é?", simples e direto, você sequer tinha como discordar. "Não deve ser dar 'pra mim, afinal 'cê já faz isso todo dia.", sequer concluiu a frase e ele conseguiu a proeza de ganhar um tapão em um dos braços — a falta de filtro que ele apresentava algumas vezes te deixava muito sem jeito. "Ai! E eu 'tô mentindo por acaso?"

"Não. Mas mereceu.", justificou, mal sustentando uma chateação teatral. "E é... é isso.", finalmente teve coragem de olhá-lo outra vez, porém quase se arrependeu de novo — sequer parecia namorar esse homem a mais de dois anos.

"Dar 'pra mim?", o sorriso sacana só cresceu ao te ver concordar. "E o que tem de diferente nisso?"

"Quero fazer isso... de outro jeito.", remexeu-se desconfortável no colo do homem, essa conversa já durava muito mais do que você gostaria. Seungcheol franziu as sobrancelhas e você quase praguejou, não queria ter que dizer com todas as letras.

"Que outro jeito, amor?", o questionamento veio e morreu ali. Recusou-se a responder, encarando seu namorado como se esperasse que ele fosse capaz de ler a resposta no fundo dos seus olhos. E ele tentou, correu o olhar por todos os cantinhos do seu rosto pelo que pareceu ser uma eternidade. "Diz.", pediu, os lábios refreando um sorriso maldoso — ali você teve noção de que ele sabia exatamente o quê era.

Num movimento só enfiou-se no pescoço do homem, se encolheu inteira. Uma gargalhada baixinha fez o corpo dele balançar, você sentiu sua pele queimar ainda mais, agarrando-se ao peitoral dele como se ele não fosse o exato motivo da sua vergonha.

"Vai me deixar foder seu cuzinho, princesa?", o sussurro acompanhou uma respiração quente bem na sua orelha.

Arrepou-se inteira.

Deus...

O segundo tapa que Seungcheol ganhou naquela madrugada foi fruto de uma reação quase fisiológica. Nunca sentiu tanta vontade de desaparecer, reagiu como se aquilo fosse suficiente para expulsar o sentimento. Esse foi bem no meio do peito, mas o homem sequer preocupou-se em fingir que doeu dessa vez, rindo ainda mais do seu estado encabulado. A voz esganiçada murmurou algo que pareceu ser um "para" contra o pescoço dele. Tentou mudar o alvo, mirando um tapinha no outro braço, mas Seungcheol agarrou sua mão, dando tudo de si para cessar o riso.

"Como você sabia que eu queria?", selou cada um dos seus dedos, deixando claro que estava disposto a não rir mais da situação. Você respirou fundo tentando espantar a timidez do corpo.

"Você sempre brinca lá... então achei que quisesse.", explicou, a outra mão ocupava-se em brincar com os fios curtinhos da nunca do homem.

"Porra, eu quero. Quero tanto...", a imaginação já corria livre, assim como o olhar dele pelo seu corpo. "Mas tem certeza? Não precisa.", te apertou num abraço, era seu aconchego — só queria o que também fosse bom para você. "Você sabe que eu odiaria te deixar desconfortável, amor."

"Eu também quero.", era sincero. O estômago revirava só de pensar nas coisas que Seungcheol faria, no que te faria sentir...

"De verdade?"

"De verdade.", acenou contra o pescoço dele.

"Olhando 'pra mim.", te puxou pelo queixo, o rosto avermelhado entrando no seu campo de visão — mas aquilo estava longe de significar vergonha no homem. "Tem certeza?"

"Tenho."

[...]

Cair no sono foi uma das coisas mais difíceis que Seungcheol fez depois daquela conversa. Fingir não estar totalmente excitado quando você deixou claro que estava pronta, mas não pronta naquele exato momento, foi uma tarefa árdua. O homem nunca teve tantos pensamentos numa noite só, sequer dormiu direito. Acordava no susto em alguns pontos da madrugada, olhava seu rostinho, constatava que ainda estava duro 'pra caralho e tentava dormir outra vez. Noite complicada.

Você foi capaz de constatar isso assim que viu a silhueta grande se arrastar pela porta da cozinha. Seungcheol parecia destruído. Quem visse não diria que o homem havia acabado de acordar. Rir era inevitável, mas você fingiu ter pena. Terminou de digitar a mensagem que havia iniciado no telefone, logo largando o aparelho para ir de encontro ao seu homem.

"Não dormiu, Cheollie?", a vozinha era doce ao ponto de ser nauseante — mas era exclusividade entre vocês dois, então não importava. Abriu os braços e Seungcheol te pegou no colo por instinto, negando com a cabeça ao que tomava a pele do seu pescoço entre os lábios. "O que foi, hm?", sentiu o contato gelado do m��rmore embaixo das suas coxas, sendo colocada ali.

"Não consegui parar de pensar em você, amor...", ainda meio rouco, confessou contra sua pele, as mãos tomando posse do seu corpo. "Nessa boquinha gostosa.", levantou-se, selando seus lábios com apreço. Você suspirou, não era imune a se sentir mole recebendo esse tipo de atenção. "Nesse corpinho lindo e-", interrompeu-se. "Mostra os peitinhos 'pra mim.", você obedeceu de imediato, enrolou o tecido do pijama apertadinho até que ficasse com os seios à mostra. Seungcheol avançou neles com fome, mamando e esfregando o rostinho como se tentasse se satisfazer. "E em como eu vou foder contigo hoje.", as mãos correram pela parte posterior da sua cintura, agarrando sua bunda como podia. "Princesa, eu preciso tanto...", os olhinhos suplicante te olhavam por baixo das sobrancelhas franzidas.

Porra, era ridículo o quão fácil era fazer sua bucetinha se melar — mas era Seungcheol ali, isso explicava maior parte do problema. Porém não podia. Não agora. Não podia porque-

Campainha.

Sim, o barulho da campainha. Bem que ela disse que estava por perto.

Seungcheol te olhou enfezado. Vocês mal recebiam visitas, é impossível que alguém resolvesse aparecer logo agora. Dava para ver cada palavrãozinho que passou pela cabeça do seu namorado.

"Sua mãe."

"Minha mãe?!", ele entrou em pânico assim que assimilou a informação, os olhos duplicando de tamanho.

"Ela veio trazer café da manhã 'pro príncipe dela.", adocicou o apelidinho de propósito, sorrindo ao brincar com o cabelo dele. "Só pediu 'pra eu te enrolar."

"E como que eu vou atender ela assim?!", olhou para baixo e te fez encarar também. O volume delicioso no short fez sua boca salivar. Ele definitivamente não era o único a detestar a interrupção, mas, diferente dele, você conseguia ser bem resistente.

"Se vira, amor. Minha parte eu fiz.", empurrou o corpo grande, descendo da bancada num salto. Cobriu os peitinhos babados, tentando usar o tecido para disfarçar o jeito que os biquinhos ficaram inchados. Esticou também o short do pijaminha, esperava muito que sua sogra não achasse inapropriado.

"Espera.", o homem te segurou pelo pulso, mas você foi rápida em se livrar.

"Não."

"Amor-", já ia longe.

"Tô indo abrir a porta, Cheollie~", cantarolou, rindo do desespero dele. Destrancou a porta com certa calmaria, queria dar tempo para Seungcheol se ajustar.

"_____!", a mulher mais velha te abraçou de um jeito desajeitado, mas caloroso. Segurava um cesta recheada e muito bonita.

"Senhora Choi!"

"Vai bem, querida? Cadê o príncipe?", entrou sem pedir licença — era de casa, afinal de contas.

"O Seungcheol? Ele tá na...no-", o barulho de água ao fundo te desconcertou, precisou segurar o riso. "No banho.", finalmente respondeu. "Ele tá no banho."

"Mas ele não tinha acabado de acordar?"

"Ah, sogrinha... a senhora sabe como ele é, 'né? Vaidoso..."

[...]

Nunca havia visto Seungcheol tão desconcertado na presença da própria mãe, evitava até mesmo de olhar diretamente na sua direção. Você estava certa de que a mulher havia percebido, ainda que não tivesse dito em voz alta — se dissesse talvez o Choi ficasse mais encabulado ainda.

O restante do dia não foi nada amigável com seu namorado, todas as chances de ficar a sós contigo foram arruinadas por uma série de pessoas diferentes. Jeonghan e Seungkwan foram os primeiros a aparecer logo após a saída da senhora Choi. Basicamente sequestrando você e ele para um restaurantezinho ali perto, alegando que o homem não podia fugir da tradição de tomar a sopa de algas. E o processo de como isso virou uma reunião num barzinho próximo ao local foi história.

Você voltou a mesa, carregava a bolsa da namorada de Soonyoung — que precisou sair — juntamente com a sua. Encontrou Seungcheol ninando uma garrafinha de soju e ele parecia miserável demais para um homem que estava comemorando o próprio aniversário. A constatação te fez querer rir.

"No quê o meu aniversariante favorito 'tá pensando?", chamou a atenção do homem, ganhando uma secada nada inocente da cabeça aos pés. Seungcheol sorriu demorando mais tempo que o necessário para responder.

"Que a minha princesa ficou linda com esse vestido.", ah sim... essa era a resposta livre para todos os públicos — a resposta certa com certeza ficou muito bem guardada na cabeça do seu namorado.

"Ah é?", driblou Jihoon — que estava sentado a algumas cadeiras de distância — e sentou-se bem ao lado de Seungcheol.

"Uhum.", ganhou um cheirinho no pescoço e a pele arrepiou. Já havia bebido o necessário para fraquejar a qualquer toque do homem.

"Eu não tô bêbado o suficiente 'pra isso...", a observação soou de fundo. Um arrastar de cadeiras indicava que Jihoon havia se levantado.

"Tá vendo? Até o Ji sabe que você 'tá mentindo.", acompanhou a saída do homem com o olhar. Não sentiam incômodo, sabiam que Jihoon só não curtia gente melosa demais.

"Ji, é?", sério que foi só nisso que ele prestou atenção? Típico de Seungcheol.

"Ji."

"São íntimos agora?"

"Sempre fomos.", provocou. Seungcheol não te ofereceu mais resposta, arqueando as sobrancelhas. "Não me olha assim..."

"Mais uma gracinha e eu te coloco no meu colo na frente deles."

"Você não é maluco..."

"Você sabe que eu sou.", ele virou um gole generoso da garrafinha de soju sem deixar de te encarar. Era cada vez mais complicado fingir normalidade com Seungcheol te comendo com os olhos na frente dos próprios amigos.

"Eu não menti.", retomou. "Você 'tá linda."

"E é só nisso que 'cê 'tá pensando?", brincou com a gola da camiseta do homem, ainda meio tonta com o cheirinho de perfume masculino.

"É."

"Cheol..."

"Você não quer saber no quê eu tô pensando, amor. Fica quietinha.", livrou o tecido das suas mãos, no estado em que estava não suportaria a proximidade com você sem acabar fazendo besteira.

"Se eu tô perguntando...", fez-se de desentendida, arrumando os fios soltos na testa do homem.

"Vem no banheiro comigo que eu te mostro.", descarado, sussurrou a proposta sem sequer olhar em volta.

"Você sonha tanto...", desdenhou. "Não me arrumei inteira 'pra foder contigo no banheiro, Seungcheol.", ajustou o próprio vestido, deixando explícito o próprio argumento.

"Não falei nada sobre foder... e se eu só quiser usar essa boquinha?"

"Vai borrar minha maquiagem.", fez pouco, observando o movimento em volta. O homem soltou um risinho de canto, te olhando com descrença.

"Quando que 'cê ficou mimadinha assim, hein?"

"Mérito seu."

"Talvez seja...", lambeu os próprios lábios. "Mas é meu aniversário, sabia?"

"Você sabe que o quê eu quero te dar é muito melhor que isso...", pendeu a cabeça. A excitação era palpável, quem visse de longe notaria que vocês estavam a um deslize de pular um no outro.

"Sei, é?", questionou. "Por que você não me faz lembrar?", uma série de palmas cortou o clima de vocês, chamando a atenção de quem estivesse por perto.

Boo Seungkwan.

"Okay, deu de grude por hoje! Foi um inferno trazer todo mundo de volta 'pra mesa.", gesticulou afobado, você quis rir. "Tem um bolo. Vocês notaram que tem um bolo?", apontou para o centro da mesa. Era uma torta cheia de chantilly decorada com uma cereja no topo.

"Eu notei.", Hansol fez questão de se pronunciar. Encarando a sobremesa com os olhos cheios.

"Trouxe até velinha, poxa...", choramingou.

"Tá uma gracinha, Kwannie!", você tentou consolar o homem, sorrindo amena.

"Kwannie?", o tom enciumado entra em cena mais uma vez, fazendo com que Seungcheol ganhe sua mãozinha linda sobre os lábios dele, impedido qualquer bobagem que ameace sair dali.

[...]

"O presente é meu, amor. Então a gente vai seguir o meu plano.", já entrou em casa reclamando. Teve que refrear um Seungcheol muito apressado, que tentou te agarrar desde o hall de entrada.

"Só mandar. Eu obedeço.", respondeu dotado de uma ironia que você fez questão de ignorar.

"Tira a roupa.", o homem te olhou como se você tivesse três cabeças. "Não é isso! Quero te dar uma massagem antes, sabe? Pra criar um clima."

"Mas eu tô no clima...", refutou. Talvez devesse ter deixado Seungcheol beber mais um pouquinho, ele se tornava obediente depois de um certo ponto e agora esse definitivamente não era o caso.

"Vai ficar reclamando?"

"Não 'tô reclamando, amor.", fez dengo, os braços de apertando num abracinho caloroso. "Mas vem cá: me fala uma massagem sua que durou mais que cinco minutos.", o tom de provocação não era nada discreto. "Usa a cabecinha, princesa.", cutucou uma de suas têmporas, como se questionasse a uma criancinha lerda. "Me fala só uma vez que você não desistiu logo no começo 'pra dar a bucetinha 'pra mim."

"Você é um idiota, sabia?", hostil, detestava quando Seungcheol pagava de marrento para cima de você.

"Só tô explicando que é mais fácil ir direto pro principal, meu amor.", deu de ombros. "E fala direito comigo, 'tá toda malcriada hoje."

"Ai deita na cama logo, Cheol! Não estraga...", bufou e o homem riu de canto, o teatrinho entre vocês não era nada duradouro.

Seungcheol livrou-se das roupas, largando o corpo de bruços no colchão. Mesmo depois de tanto tempo, você ainda ficava impressionada com o quão... grande tudo nele era. Você também aproveitou para se livrar das suas, reservando a lingerie vermelhinha para que ele tirasse. Deixou a playlist rodando sozinha no canto do cômodo, pegando a garrafinha de óleo que preparou especialmente para a ocasião.

Sentou-se nas pernas de Seungcheol, debruçando-se para espalhar o líquido. O contato quente entre as peles te fez lembrar o porquê de nenhuma massagem sua durar mais que cinco minutos. Chacoalhou o pensamento, esticando o corpo para iniciar a massagem. Apertou-o como bem sabia fazer, os suspiros te incentivavam. Foi inocente por um bom tempo. Bem, isso até resolver correr as unhas pela dorsal masculina.

"Sacanagem, amor...", contorceu-se, rindo junto assim que ouviu seu risinho sapeca. Os toques rumaram mais baixo, tomando caminho através da parte inferior da coluna do homem. Você quis resistir, quis manter o clima sensual... mas o apertão generoso na bunda do seu namorado foi inevitável — se estava lá era por algum motivo. Seungcheol saltou na cama e você engasgou uma gargalhada.

"Isso faz parte da massagem?"

"É claro que faz.", rebateu, rindo baixinho. "Tá... de frente agora.", trocaram de posição, agora tinha-o secando cada cantinho do seu corpo.

"Porra, eu 'tô tão duro.", admitiu, como se isso não fosse a primeira coisa que você percebeu quando sentou no colo dele. "Eu podia só bater uma 'pra você e ia dormir feliz.", tentou apertar suas coxas, mas você foi ligeira em se livrar das mãos antes que ele conseguisse. Um rostinho de quem não estava nada impressionada. "Tô elogiando meu presentinho, não pode?"

"Eu te amo, sabia?", desconversou.

"Sabia.", Seungcheol te ofereceu um sorriso de canto, convencido. Mas nunca ia mais longe que isso e você conhecia bem. Abaixou o torso, selando a boquinha vermelhinha.

"Você é tão bom, Cheollie.", outro beijinho, mais demorado que o anterior. "Cuida tão bem de mim...", mais um. "É o namorado perfeito.", outro. "Meu príncipe lindo.", outra vez. "Forte.", mais um, definitivamente não se cansava. "Que fode gostoso 'pra caralho...", nesse fez questão de encarar Seungcheol, sabia o que viria a seguir. O homem cobriu os olhos com o antebraço, o rosto rubro e o sorriso sem graça deixavam claro que ele havia perdido totalmente a pose.

Não conseguiu mais segurar o riso, ficava abismada com efeito que tinha num homem daquele tamanho — Cheol era adorável. O problema foi ter rido até demais, seu namorado nunca foi de deixar barato. Descobriu os olhos assim que finalmente se livrou da ardência que sentiu no próprio rosto, afiando os olhos na sua direção. Nada disse. Te agarrou pela cintura e, num solavanco, trocou as posições.

A diferença entre vocês dois é que ele não precisava te dizer uma palavra sequer para ter o que queria. Sentir a boca quentinha na sua e a mão estrategicamente colocada no seu pescoço foi mais do que suficiente para te deixar sem ar. Te invadia e te tocava em todos os sentidos e sem pudor algum. A língua explorava sua boca e as mãos sentiam cada partezinha do seu corpo.

Nem sabe como aconteceu, mas quando deu por si já abria as perninhas para deixar Seungcheol te tocar. Arfava contra os lábios do homem, pedindo por clemência através dos olhinhos.

"Bucetinha gostosa...", o elogio foi praticamente sussurrado dentro da sua boca. "Tá se melando inteirinha 'pra mim, amor... implorando 'pra eu usar ela um pouquinho.", colocou os dígitos sem ter piedade, abusando da entradinha — sabia bem como você gostava. "Deixa eu usar ela, princesa? Só um pouco?", a pergunta era retórica. Seu rostinho tonto deixava explícita qual era a resposta.

Te livrou da calcinha sem muita cerimônia, pincelando o falo contra o lugarzinho encharcado. Não satisfeito, cuspiu nos próprios dígitos, masturbando a extensão antes de forçar entrada. Sequer precisou se preocupar com alguma coisa, vocês nunca tiveram empecilhos ou inibições 'pra foder gostosinho assim. Já faziam a tempo demais. Faziam sem pensar.

Seu corpinho balançava a cada estocada mais forte. Gemia dengosa sem conseguir conter o tremelique das perninhas — sabia que Seungcheol iria comentar se notasse. A visão ficava turva. Aqui sempre entendia o porquê de ser tão obcecada, porra... ninguém mais era como Seungcheol.

"Princesa...", ele arfou, os dedos quase rompendo a pele da sua cintura num aperto firme. "Eu não consigo parar...", ondulou o quadril para ir ainda mais fundo. Seu corpo ficou molinho com a sensação. "Deixa eu jogar dentro, deixa?", suplicou, a voz mansa surtindo efeito sem esforço algum. Você só concordou, aceitando qualquer coisa que ele quisesse te dar. "Tá tão gostosa, porra."

Esvaziava-se de si própria sob o domínio de Seungcheol. Era uma versão totalmente moldável de si mesma, feita unicamente para sentir prazer. E, em muitos casos, esse prazer vinha do ato de satisfazer o homem — de ver ele te usando para se sentir bem. Era explícita a vontade irracional que você sentia de ser boa para Seungcheol, quase tão boa quanto ele era com você.

Os olhinhos foram parar atrás da cabeça ao sentí-lo gozando, o ventre se apertou tanto que por pouco não expulsou-o da sua entradinha. Sedenta, forçou a própria bucetinha a aguentar tudo, rebolando contra a extensão que pulsava. Queria tudo dele, queria-o completamente exausto de tanto usar seu corpo. Gemia carente e tentava se foder com mais afinco, embriagada com os estalinhos que eram produzidos pelo esperma espesso escorrendo para fora de você. Seungcheol apertou seus braços contra a cama, superestimulado.

"Shhhh. Relaxa, amor...", murmurou em meio a um risinho desesperado. Seu rostinho vazio era o motivo da graça — a carinha de quem claramente só 'tá pensando em ganhar mais porra. Ele forçou o peso do próprio quadril contra o seu, foi o suficiente para te deixar paradinha de novo. "Gosta de ficar cheia, é? É tão boazinha comigo.... linda."

"Eu quero mais..."

"Eu vou te dar mais, princesa. Só que de outro jeitinho.", retirou-se devagarinho, guiando suas perninhas para se abrirem mais. "Deita 'pra mim, amor. Assim, relaxa.", abaixou-se, acariciando o interior das suas coxas. Você tremeu por dentro, sabia o quê estava cada vez mais próximo de acontecer. Sentiu o carinho desviando para a bucetinha maltratada. Seungcheol te daria algo familiar antes de qualquer coisa. Lambeu o buraquinho arruinado, recolhendo o líquido espesso só para esfregá-lo no seu pontinho. Usava a própria porra como lubrificante.

Era obsceno 'pra caralho, mas o homem já havia te livrado de qualquer senso moral faz bastante tempo. Os dígitos grossos se juntaram à bagunça, arrastando outra parte do líquido até a entrada mais fechadinha.

"Posso colocar um dedinho?"

"Devagar...", concordou ainda meio nervosa. A boquinha soltou um arfar quando sentiu ele forçar o dígito, mas ainda não era território desconhecido — não era nada que Seungcheol já não houvesse feito antes.

"Apertadinho 'pra caralho, princesa.", observou, os olhos grudados na cena. "Vou ter que te abrir por conta própria.", arriscou movimentar, fodendo devagarinho. Ia da pontinha até a base, observando suas reações. Você fechou os olhos, tentava familiarizar-se com a invasão, não era tão ruim... dava para se acostumar. "Shhhhh. Pensa em mim te fodendo aqui, amor, bem gostosinho...", acelerou o movimento, tornando as estocadas mais curtas. "... usando como se fosse sua bucetinha.", mamou o clitóris sensível mais uma vez, você saltou com o susto. Cheol afastou-se, um líquido gelado fez sua pele arrepiar — julgou ser lubrificante. "Mais um.", murmurou.

O ritual seguiu até que três dígitos estivessem socadinhos em você. Seungcheol fodia com habilidade e sabia que o jeito que aquilo fazia sua buceta escorrer definitivamente não significava desconforto. Por isso, foi natural se aninhar ao seu lado, ajudou seu corpinho a se posicionar, colocando uma das perninhas em cima do quadril dele.

"Eu preciso que você confie em mim, amor.", selou seu rostinho, te assistindo concordar. "Nunca vou te machucar. Mas me avisa se doer, hm?", mais um beijinho para te assegurar. Você sentiu a glande pincelar contra a entradinha relaxada e seu estômago revirou. "Devagarinho, fica calma...", te invadiu finalmente, colocando só a cabecinha. Você franziu o rosto, era diferente dos dedos. "Assim dói?"

"Não, só é... estranho."

"Mais um pouquinho então.", forçou mais e você precisou puxar ar para dentro dos seus pulmões. Não era mesma coisa. Te deixava tão... cheia. Os olhinhos arregalados fizeram-no parar de imediato, esperando alguma resposta sua.

"Amor?", você mal piscou. "Eu tiro?", negou imediatamente, aguentaria. Só precisava se acostumar, mas aguentava.

O rostinho estúpido fazia seu namorado pulsar. A boca sequer se fechava, soltando arfares curtinhos, incapaz de tirar os olhos do rosto dele. Parecia não saber o que fazer consigo mesma, apertando o pescoço e ombros dele em busca de apoio. Ganhou um beijinho na testa, Seungcheol te olhava preocupado, buscando qualquer sinal de desconforto no seu rosto. Forçou-se aos poucos, enfim entrando por completo dentro de você. Pareceu te sobrecarregar, apertou-o sem querer, sentindo-se mais cheia ainda.

"Porra, princesa, relaxa...", arfou, apertando o lençol. "Fode a bucetinha pra mim, vai...", beijou sua testa outra vez. Parecia tenso, quase incapaz de se controlar.

"Fundo, Cheollie... tá-"

"Eu sei, eu sei. Brinca com ela, amor, faz passar.", lutava para ser paciente, massageando seus seios na tentativa de te confortar. "Tô parado, princesa. Relaxa 'pra mim.", sussurrou, o rostinho encostado na lateral da sua cabeça. "Que tesão do caralho...", a voz quebrada fez seu ventre contrair mais. "Não, não aperta.", droga... por que isso era tão excitante? "Não, não, não, não... princesa. Me escuta, porra.", entre-dentes, soou alterado dessa vez. Não entende o porquê, mas isso fez seus olhinhos arderem — estava sensível demais nesse estado.

"Cheol..."

"Shhhh, não 'tô brigando com você, amor. Não chora.", retrocedeu, falando calminho outra vez. "Escuta o seu Cheol: brinca com sua bucetinha e relaxa 'pra mim, hm? Você consegue, amor?"

"Consigo."

"Me obedece então, princesinha.", um beijo casto na sua bochecha te fez amolecer. Os dedinhos se esticando para estimular seu pontinho. Era gostoso, a porra de Cheol ainda estava ali. "Isso... isso.", sorriu meio fraco, a boquinha não saía do seu rosto — parecia instinto te encher de chamego. "Que porra, eu vou gozar..."

"Mexe, Cheol."

"Pode, amor?", esperou outra confirmação. "Devagar então. Fala se tiver machucando.", começou timidamente. Os olhinhos vidrados no seu rosto, só que isso não durou muito tempo. Foi fácil ter o homem completamente dengoso procurando pela sua boquinha. Agia como se estivesse bêbado de tesão, roçando a língua na sua numa espécie de êxtase. Grunhia carente, esfregando a mão em cada partezinha do seu corpo. O rostinho cheio de prazer fazia sua bucetinha babar, não demorou para que também estivesse presa num frenesi tão gostoso quanto o dele.

"Cheollie, é... ah... isso..."

"É gostoso, amor?", concordou com a cabeça. Lambendo os lábios do homem mais uma vez. "Deixa eu foder outro buraquinho seu então.", esticou-se socando dois dígitos na sua buceta sem dificuldade nenhuma — ainda estava abertinha, aceitou de bom grado. "Devia ter comprado um consolo 'pra socar nessa buceta, amor... usar todos os seus buraquinhos de uma vez.", segredou no seu ouvido. Voce fechou os olhinhos, arrepiando-se inteira com a proposta indecente. "Você quer, princesa? Quer ficar toda cheinha?", concordou de imediato. "Cê 'tá tão melada, porra..."

Estúpida com o prazer, esfregava o corpinho em Seungcheol. Juntou seus dedinhos aos dele, recolheu quanta porra conseguiu só 'pra colocar na boquinha. Foda-se. Agia igual vadia só por tesão, era desprezível.

"Cheollie... hm, caralho...", choramingou, estimulando o clitóris com os dígitos babadinhos. "Fode, ah! Cheol... fode sua putinha, fode...", porra... ia gozar, nem sabia mais o que estava falando.

"Shhhhhh, não. Não é putinha hoje. É a minha princesa. Minha princesinha linda.", corrigiu.

"Cheol... eu vou- Cheol... que gostoso, porra.", a garganta arranhava a cada gemidinho quebrado. Sentia o peito encher de uma pressão estranha, como se o coração não batesse direito. "Eu... eu quero gozar, por favor...", os dedinhos rapidamente saíram da entradinha judiada e agarraram-se ao braço de Seungcheol — pouco importava se estavam sujinhos. "Eu... Ah... Ah...", não se via mais capaz de manter o estímulo ali, tontinha demais em ter seu buraquinho fodido de um jeito tão bom.

Forçou a abertura das perninhas, contorcendo-se na tentativa de abrigar ainda mais o falo cheinho — rebolava gostoso, embriagada com a expressão quebrada do seu namorado. Seungcheol parecia arruinado, o rosto vermelhinho escorria suor, arfava um palavrão por cima do outro, mordendo a boquinha gostosa sempre que queria gemer.

Porra, era tão bom quebrar o seu Cheol... se sentia gostosa 'pra caralho, a putinha perfeita 'pra ele — foda-se se hoje ele só te quisesse como princesa, ainda era a vadiazinha perfeita quando se tratava do homem, era tudo que ele precisava.

"Amor, fode meu cuzinho...", provocou e sentiu o aperto no seu seio se fechar mais, a bucetinha vazando só com isso. O rosto dele colapsou contra o seu ombro, a mão enorme que quase te sufocou pelo pescoço pressionou seu corpo contra o colchão. Seungcheol agora arremetia agressivo, o som que era produzido pelo contato entre as peles ecoava mais ainda. Arruinava a entradinha que mal havia aprendido a abrigá-lo ali. "Cheol, ah! fode... me come... amor..."

O homem sentia que iria enlouquecer. Porra, você 'tava levando tão gostoso. O corpinho trêmulo, a vozinha quebrada, a bucetinha que não parava de expulsar a porra dele — ele sentia o líquido escorrer. Socou mais forte, sorrindo ao ver suas perninhas se fechando ao que você enfiava as unhas no quadril dele. Um chorinho dengoso encheu a audição do homem, sabia que você tinha gozado. O buraquinho apertava, mas você ainda tentava se foder.

"Me enche de porra, Cheollie...", a provocação dessa vez acompanhou um gemidinho quebrado, sabia que surtiria efeito. Mas talvez tenha surtido até demais.

E mesmo assim, ele tentou sair. Jura. Jura que tentou. Mas você 'tava pedindo, porra, tava pedindo 'pra ele usar seu rabinho até o final, 'pra deixar cheinho... ele precisava. Precisava marcar a princesinha dele e você merecia. Merecia ficar cheia em cada cantinho. Precisava para mostrar que era só dele.

Não resistiu. Não dava 'pra segurar. Os dentes agarraram a carne do seu ombro enquanto ele se deixou vazar, jorrou o líquido quente bem fundo. O jeito que o calor se espalhava por dentro do seu estômago te deixava em êxtase. Ele estava te enchendo tanto, cacete, e era tão gostoso, tão... as mãozinhas agarraram-se a parte mais baixa do ventre, a cabecinha burra ainda não sabia assimilar o tanto de porra que lotava seu corpinho. Tremia. Choramingava.

Tentava olhar Seungcheol totalmente atordoada, mal se importando com a dorzinha no local que foi mordido. Os olhinhos se derramaram sem te deixar pensar, ainda sentia prazer, mas estava tão confusa. Convulsionou ao senti-lo te estocar mais algumas vezes, quase gozou, não sabia mais o que fazer consigo mesma.

"Cheol, Cheol... espera, por favor... por favor...", soluçou e pareceu trazer o homem de volta. Seungcheol se retirou com cuidado, te aninhando entre os braços em meio a uma risada molenga, talvez ainda estivesse um tantinho fora de si mesmo.

"Nunca mais me fala uma porra dessas, princesa.", sussurrou, a voz falhava. Tentava te manter dentro do abraço, te beijar, limpar o próprio suor, tudo ao mesmo tempo. "Cacete... achei que eu ia desmaiar.", ofegava te assistindo respirar tão desesperada quanto. Secou seu rostinho com o lado traseiro da mão, limpando algumas lágrimas no processo. "Tá bem, princesa? Eu te machuquei?", você só foi capaz de negar com a cabeça, hipnotizada com o sorriso bonito acima do seu rosto.

Seria loucura achar que essa foda em específico te deixou mais apaixonada?

"Tem certeza?", concordou. Queria beijar o homem até perder o ar, só que você não tinha recobrado ele ainda. "Eu vou te limpar, tá bom?", propôs amoroso e você quis concordar outra vez. Mas, espera aí... limpar...? Não. Definitivamente não. Envolveu o homem pelo pescoço, fazendo-o praticamente cair em cima de você. "Não pode?", questionou aos risos, ganhando um chorinho estressado. "Por quê não?", riu mais ainda, outro chorinho. "Shhhh... okay, okay. Eu espero um pouco."

"Droga, 'tô me sentindo uma pervertida.", reclamou. A realidade bateu mais rápido do que você gostaria. Esperou algum tipo de resposta imediata do homem, só que recebeu:

Silêncio...

"Mas você é...", pareceu sincero até demais. Você se remexeu irritada, ameaçando livrar-se do aperto dele. "Não, não, não, não! É brincadeira, é brincadeira! Fica, fica aqui.", a risadinha meio estridente do homem te fez querer rir também, mas precisava manter a atuação. Lutou para sair do abraço o quanto pôde, só desistindo quando Seungcheol te encurralou com o peso do próprio corpo. "Não é pervertida não, princesa, desculpa...", largou um beijinho casto na sua bochecha, fazendo o carinho viajar até pertinho da sua orelha. "Só por quê você gosta de dar o cuzinho 'pra mim? Claro que não." sussurrou, deu corpo ardeu em brasa — Seungcheol era um insuportável. Debateu-se novamente. Mas, sabendo que a estratégia era falha, estapeou as costas do homem, sem forças — afinal você não tinha. "Ai! Espera. tô brincando.", mais um tapa. "Shhhhh, não! Não bate. Quieta, quietinha...", agarrou seus pulsos, choramingando manhoso contra o seu pescoço. "Calma, amor..."

"Idiota..."

"Que feio, princesa... batendo no aniversariante?"

"Já passou da meia-noite faz tempo."

"A gente não dormiu, então o dia não virou.", levantou-se brevemente o nariz roçando contra o seu.

"Isso nem faz sentido.", fez bico.

"Agora faz.", te tomou num beijo gostoso sem cerimônia alguma. Não tinha pressa, desenhava cada promessa de amor que te fez um dia dentro da sua boca. "Ei...", afastou-se, embriagado pelo estado entorpecido de vocês dois. Sorriam com cumplicidade. "Obrigado."

"Por dar 'pra você?", ironizou.

"Por ser minha. Por ser perfeita 'pra mim.", confessou e você jura que sentiu seu coração falhar um pouquinho.

Você definitivamente se sentia mais apaixonada depois de hoje. Bastava descobrir o motivo.

"Eu te amo, Cheol.", era tão gostoso dizer, queria repetir para sempre, especialmente com o jeito que o homem te olhava. Seungcheol se enfiou no seu pescoço outra vez, produzindo um som manhoso e meio esquisitinho de se ouvir.

"Caralho... eu quero tanto te pedir em casamento agora.", mais uma confissão e essa te fez querer cair na gargalhada.

"Pede, uai."

"Não, desse jeito não...", choramingou outra vez — esse era mesmo o homem que estava dentro de você minutos atrás. "Mas eu vou casar contigo, porra. Preciso disso."

"Precisa?"

"Preciso ou vou ficar maluco.", levantou o torso de supetão te encarando de cima. "Eu te amo tanto, princesa... sou doente por você.", os olhos se enchiam de um brilho diferente, pareciam expandir — ou talvez você só fosse muito obcecada por ele. O homem suspirou. Rendição. "Casa comigo?"

"É um pedido sério?"

"Sim... mas saiba que eu vou pedir de novo.", a justificativa te fez rir, Seungcheol era teimoso.

"Hmmm... vou pensar até lá então. Depois respondo.", desconversou, fingindo pensar.

"Princesa..."

"Ai, você não tem senso de humor!", revirou os olhos, era pura atuação. Os dois agiam como se não fossem capazes de sentir os corações um do outro quase saltando para fora. "Claro que eu aceito, seu chorão.", foi sua vez de se render. "Esqueceu que eu sou sua?"

# — © 2024 hansolsticio ᯓ★ masterlist.

[revasserium]

loving you was red

sylus; 4,627 words; fluff, banter, no "y/n", mild spoilers for sylus's main storyline, subtle but not so subtle flirting, nicknames (kitten, little crow), kinda enemies to lovers

summary: the beginning of everything, all in shades of red

a/n: this was supposed to be fun lil drabble; alas, that's not what it turned out to be, but i hope you guys enjoy it nonetheless. i had fun with the banter in this one u__u

001. fire and brimstone

The city below is a shatter of broken stars, and from up this high, none of it seems real. You cannot reconcile the sight of all those scattered, pinpoints of light with the lives you know shine behind them. You cannot imagine sitting in your living room, scrolling through your news-feed, waiting for the water to boil for late night ramen.

“Trouble sleeping?”

You congratulate yourself on not wincing, on keeping perfectly still.

Sylus joins you by the window, his arms looped lazily in front of his chest, his dark silk robe falling open to reveal his chest. You keep your eyes resolutely on the technicolored skyline.

“Yeah,” you say, feigning a yawn, “just something about being held captive against my will that just… messes with my circadian rhythm, y’know?”

Sylus chuckles, the sound rumbling through him, low enough to make you shiver.

“Don’t tell a girl like you still needs someone to sing her to sleep.” He’s teasing. You know he is, and yet you can’t keep the heat from clawing up the back of your neck. You scowl, chewing on the insides of your cheeks.

“What gives you that idea?” you ask, still in your flailing attempt to seem calm, seem collected.

"Nothing in particular… just… the twins found a shocking number of plushies in your room so —”

"You had them go through my stuff?” you round on him, glaring, your fingers clenched into fists.

Sylus shrugs, peering at you out the corner of his eye, an amused grin ticking at his mouth.

“Feisty little kitten, aren’t you? Though for what it’s worth — they didn’t find much on how your Evol works.”

You huff, turning back to the floor to ceiling windows, knitting your arms tightly across your chest.

“You heard the shopkeeper — we have to — to…” you trail off, the words caught in the back of your throat like peach pits, hard and large and impossible to stomach. You flush, biting down on your lips.

“To what, hm?” Sylus sounds amused, and it’s this more than anything that spurs you onwards.

You turn to glare at him, “To not hate each other!”

Sylus cocks a single, arched brow.

“So, do you?”

You blink, feeling the ever-present heat prickling into your cheeks as you stare resolutely at the skyline outside. From this distance, Linkon City could be any other city, with it’s towering skyscrapers and twinkling lights.

“Do I what?” you ask, your voice softer as you try to pinpoint the exact location of where you used to live.

“Hate me.”

You turn; in the dimness, all you can see of Sylus is his firebrand eyes and his stone-cut features. The dark curve of his mouth and the sharp jut of his nose. When he turns to meet your gaze, you can barely stifle your gasp — his eyes are so red, so deep and strange.

“Brimstone…” you say, without really thinking about it.

Confusion flickers across his vulturine features.

“Hm?”

You lick your lips, feeling the dryness that had since collected there.

“Brimstone,” you say again, shaking your head and averting your eyes, only for Sylus to catch your chin in his fingers and force you to look back at him, to be swallowed up by his gaze, “it’s… something from… the ancient religions. It’s — back when they believed in gods and monsters, people would use the word brimstone to signify divine wrath…”

His finger slacken on your chin and you let your head fall as he takes half a step away.

He lets out a mirthless laugh, his eyes faraway as he stares out at Linkon City, laid out before his feet.

“I can’t say I know much about gods, but… monsters?”

You swallow, feeling the imprint of his fingers on your skin.

He turns back to look at you, his gaze soft, but no less startling. You feel an unnamable fire frisson up your spine and skitter back down again.

“Monsters are very, very real,” he leans in, closing gap between your body and his, till he has you nearly caged against the cool glass of the penthouse windows. He shifts to brush away a strand of hair, tucking it behind your ear with too-gentle fingers. His next words are whispered, his voice in a register so low it almost sounds like the shadow of sound — he leans in, his lips brushing by your cheek till you can feel the heat of his breath right next to your ear —

“And they look just like you and me.”

002. lipstick

“So at the auction —”

“Just do as I say, and you’ll get what you want.”

You narrow your eyes in the mirror, staring at the reflection of Sylus fastening a pair of ornate silver cufflinks to his impeccably tailored suit.

“Give me one reason to trust you,” you say.

Sylus looks up, a hand still on his cuffs as he meets your gaze in the mirror, unflinching.

“Since when have I ever asked you to trust me?”

Over on the dresser, Mephisto lets out a soft caw that sounds almost mocking. You swirl to glare at him and he has the decency to flap his mechanical wings, shuffling until he’s hidden from view behind Sylus’s shadow.

Sylus laughs, “Alright — settle down, little crow.”

You frown, “Little crow? What happened to kitten?”

Sylus shrugs, “Changed my mind. Figured little crow fits you a bit better. You know — loud, defiant…” he smirks as his voice trails off.

You don’t try to hide your consternation, “Often associated with murder?”

Behind him, Mephisto lets out an indignant ca-caw.

You try to sidestep Sylus, only to find yourself trapped against the mirror by his strong arms. He grins down at you, his canines flashing over his lower lip as he cocks his head.

“Like I said, fits better, no?” he asks.

You stare up at him, trying to make out what he’s thinking behind those firelight eyes of his.

“Let me go — I still need to finish my makeup,” you say, pressing a palm to his chest. You try not to think about the firmness of his muscles beneath your touch, or the heat of his skin, even through all these layers of clothing.

“What else is there?” he asks, his eyes flickering over your features; you shiver, feeling the weight of his gaze as it sweeps over your face like a sudden flare of heat, “you look pretty finished to me.”

You lick your lips, and feel a strange, savage satisfaction at the tick of his eyes down to your mouth, at the way his pupils dilate, at how they track the slow progress of your tongue as it laves across your bottom lip before disappearing back into your mouth.

“Lipstick,” you say, trying not to sound too smug.

Sylus puffs out a laugh before reaching over to the low dressing table and grabbing a tube of lipstick. He uncaps it with a finger, and twists out the color without once breaking your gaze. Vaguely, you feel your stomach tense, and you ponder the unfairness of this one, single act — how could he look so stupidly attractive doing all this when he’s got you trapped here? Like some sort of exotic songbird in a golden cage.

“T-that’s not the color I wanted —” you say, but even to your own ears, you don’t sound convincing.

Sylus’s smile slackens into a lopsided smirk as he tilts your chin up to press the cream of the lipstick to your lips, dragging it delicately across one way, then back the other.

“Press your lips,” he says, his voice softer and gentler than you’ve ever heard it before.

You do, feeling a stifling thump-thump-thump rise up to beat against the back of your throat as his eyes flick down to watch you.

“Mm… as I thought, this color looks great on you,” he says, pulling back to admire his handiwork.

You feel the air rush back into your lungs in a single, searing breath, caught between the urge to brace your arms against your knees and heave, or to drag your hand across your mouth to rid yourself of the lipstick.

You do neither though, because at that moment, the twins call from outside the door —

“Auction’s about to start!” says Luke.

“Hope you’re both ready!” says Kieran.

Sylus straightens, capping the lipstick with a sharp click. You force yourself to calm down, to focus on your breathing — four counts in, seven counts out.

“Are you ready?” Sylus asks, his tone once more whiskey-smooth and just as potent.

You roll back your shoulders and give a quick nod, speaking to yourself just as much as you’re speaking to him —

“Sure. Let’s get this over with.”

003. blood and roses

There’s blood on your hands and blood on the pavement. The world shimmers around you in wildfire and smoke.

“… so… so much blood…”

“You can’t die here —” Sylus’s voice cuts through the memory like a struck chord, resonating inside you till it’s the only thing you can hear, “that life you owe me? It’s not your time to pay it back yet!”

You reach for him, and the moment you feel your palms connect, a bead of heat pulses out from the center of your clasping hands. Your skin is slick with sweat and blood, but his hand beneath you is oddly cool and smooth.

The charred ashes of the beaten Wanderer fall around you like flakes of misbegotten snow; you wave your free hand to keep the pieces from falling into your eyes. A river of light seeps from the Deepspace Tunnel into the center of your chest, glowing brighter and brighter until it coalesces into a familiar gem-like shape.

It comes to a rest between your fingers seconds before it cracks, the light flickering once along the seam before going out.

“It — the Aether Core —!”

“It’s power is yours now. Why’re you so surprised?” Sylus doesn’t let go of your hand, but realizing this, you pull away first, and he makes no move to stop you.

“D-did you know?” you ask, unable to keep the accusation from seeping into your voice.

“Does it make a difference?”

You clamp down hard on your bottom lip, weighing the answers. It isn’t until you reach up to absently card your hand through your hair that you notice — your wrist and his, linked together by a tangible string of red, pulsing power.

You gasp, “W-what —?”

“Tch.”

You wave your wrist, watching as Sylus’s hand follows the movement. Your cheeks darken as he looks away, sighing audibly.

“If you planned this —!” but your words are cut short by a sudden wave of vertigo — the world spins around you and for a second, all you can see is the pinwheeling stars above you, the bright, pulsating edges of the Deepspace Tunnel, and then — everything fades to a sweet, merciful darkness.

You wake up to the smell of roses, and a warm body next to yours. Groaning, you try to shield your eyes from the light filtering through the massive windows.

It takes you a second to orient yourself, and to realize why your wrist seems so heavy as you try to lift a hand and rub at your eyes.

“Looks like you’re up early, though Mephisto still has you beat.”

You blink blearily up at Sylus, sitting next to you in bed, his back propped up on a fortress of pillows, a tablet in one hand, the other still linked to your wrist, half-raised to your face.

You squeak, ducking down to hide beneath the covers, hurriedly wiping at your eyes and your mouth, a mix of horror and embarrassment mounting in your stomach as you realized you must have been drooling in your sleep.

“What did you do to me?!” you demand, pulling back the covers when you’re somewhat certain that you don’t still have drool-marks at the corners of your mouth.

Sylus, for his part, looks only mildly ruffled by your sudden stint back to wakefulness. He takes his time setting down the tablet with his free hand and picking up the steaming mug of black coffee.

“You fainted,” he says, as if that explains everything, “after the resonance worked. Though it makes sense you would — after finally getting the Aether Core and all —”

“No! I mean —” you gesture desperately between you, the pristine linen sheets twisting around you both like waves on a white-sand beach, “how did I — we — get here? Who changed me?” you ask, your cheeks flaring up even as Sylus sips at his coffee, seemingly content to watch you sputter yourself dry.

“Really? After all that, the first question you have is who changed your clothes?” Sylus asks, a distinct tone of mockery clear in his every word.

“Shut up! You know what I mean!”

“Do I? I don’t think I do — you’re going to have to be a bit more specific.” He grins, all splitting lips and too-white teeth. You stare, dumbfounded at his nonchalant expression before huffing and slumping back into your own pile of pillows. You blink, throwing up your free hand to shield yourself from the too-bright light of sunrise, shining straight into your eyes.

Wordlessly, Sylus taps a few buttons on his tablet and the windows darken, filtering out the harsh morning light, leaving the pair of you in a dim, yet luminous shadow.

“I just —” you cut yourself off before you can ask yet another mundane question, and finally, after a few minutes of mulling over what exactly it is you want to ask, you settle on, “what now?”

Sylus shrugs, casting his eyes back down at his tablet, setting his half-drunk cup of coffee on the bedside table.

“Now, we do whatever we want. You have your Aether Core and I have mine,” he lifts up his wrist, shaking yours in the process, “and we try to figure out how to manage this.”

“And if we don’t?” you ask dryly.

Sylus chuckles, “Then, we figure out a way to live with it.”

You roll your eyes involuntarily, “Ugh. Of all the people to be stuck to…” you mutter to yourself. And though you’d said it quiet enough for it to be an afterthought, both of you knew Sylus had been too close not to hear.

He scoffs, pulling you close, tipping you off balance so that you topple face-first into his chest.

“Wake up, little crow,” he says, his tone caught halfway between mocking and maleficence, twisting your face till you’re forced to stare out of the window at the dulled-out skyline below.

“You think you’re so great, being a Hunter and getting rid of Wanderers,” he says, a sharp venom seeping into his words as he speaks, and slowly, he punches a button the tablet that makes the windows un-tint themselves.

You watch as the sunrise bleeds itself dry over Linkon City, the harsh, morning light slicking the entire city in a vapid, orange glow.

“The brighter the light, the darker the shadow — do you really think that just because you and your little Hunter friends are out there killing Wanderers and saving the world, that there isn’t the a need for people like us?” Sylus pushes you away from him. It’s not a harsh move, but it’s not exactly gentle either.

And again, you can’t help feeling the imprint of his fingers, almost as if burned into your skin as your rub at your jaw.

It’s when you turn to glare at him that you meet his gaze and find him staring at you with a look that’s much more haunting than ghost. Much more longing than loathe.

“Well… you’re one of us now. And newsflash, little crow — sometimes, the world just doesn’t want to be saved.”

You let his words sit with you, like river stones, hard and smooth, feeling them sink slowly down the length of your throat to settle somewhere in the wide basin on your stomach. You avert your eyes, and it’s only then that you notice the bouquet of flowers sitting on your bedside table.

“What are the roses for?” you ask, reaching out your free hand to run a thumb along a single, velvet petal. It comes off at your touch, and you watch it fall against the unmarred white marble of the table top.

“A little present,” Sylus says, waving you away, “a thank you - for a job well done last night.”

“You don’t need to thank me,” you say, unable to keep the bitterness from your tone, “it’s not like I had much of a choice.”

“You did,” Sylus says, “you could’ve killed me. And you didn’t.

“I could still kill you now,” you say, though there’s no conviction in your voice at all. Instead, you reach out to tug at another dark red petal. It comes off just as easily as the one before.

“You could. But you haven’t. And don’t you think that warrants a reward?”

004. dawn

“I’ve never hated you, you know.”

You frown, squinting against the early-morning light.

It’s not the first time you’ve found yourself waking up next to him, and you think it won’t be the last. You flip onto your side to face him, feeling a familiar rush of heat crest into your chest as you come nearly nose to nose with him.

Sylus barely even flinches, cocking an eyebrow before reaching out to tug a stray piece of hair from your face.

“What?” you ask, even though you know full well what he’d said. So maybe, you just wanted to hear it again — is that so terrible?

“Hn,” Sylus grins, rolling onto his back to cast his eyes up at the ceiling, “I said you’re getting drool on my pillows.”

You squeak, fumbling to wipe at your face before the realization hits, and you jerk up, pouting.

“That’s not what you said!”

“Then you did hear,” Sylus casts you an amused glance.

You lick your lips, the soft cotton of sleep still muffling the world such that everything except him feels strangely out of focus.

“I — I heard… a word here and there —”

“Has anyone ever told you that you’re a terrible liar?”

You scowl, whipping around to pin him with a stare, “Where I come from, that’s not a bad thing.”

Sylus’s eyes tick towards you, his expression amused as he appraises you, and not for the first time, you feel yourself go warm beneath the solar-storm fixation of his attention. Like this, you can feel the air between you blistering, as oil to a lit fuse, as his eyes travel over the planes of your face, the curve of your shoulder, the thin silk strap that had since slipped to cling to your upper arm.

“No? I suppose not,” he concedes, pushing himself up, reaching over the bedside table to push at a small button on the far side. Somewhere else in the penthouse, you can hear an alarm bell ring.

“What’s that?” you ask, pointing.

“Coffee,” he answers, and you fall silent again, turning your face away from him to look back at the heartbreak city, carved in shadows against dawn’s liquid light. It’d only been — what — a week? A bit more? And yet you can’t bring yourself to see the city the same.

Nothing has changed — not really.

But everything’s different, you think, as the door on the far side of the bedroom cracks open and Luke peers in with a smug smile and two steaming cups of coffee.

“Black for the boss, and milk and sugar and all the trimmings for the little crow.”

Sylus tsks, a frown digging itself into the space between his eyebrows, his eyes flashing as he takes the two cups. Luke, to his credit, jerks back, dancing out of Sylus’s reach.

“Ah — sorry, sorry — didn’t know that was a special nickname,” he says, making a show of stooping to apologize, though neither of you miss the jesting crow beneath his voice.

“Out.” Sylus orders, and Luke doesn’t waste time scurrying from the room, cackling beneath his breath like a gleeful child.

You take your cup from his hand and give it a dainty sip, adjusting yourself against the pile of pillows.

“What? I thought that nickname was your idea.”

“It is,” Sylus says, relaxing back. The tether between your wrists sits slack and nearly invisible on the sheets between you. He stares down at the dark liquid surface of his own cup before turning to smirk at you, “doesn’t mean it was meant to be shared.”

You clamp down on another wash of heat, threatening your cheeks as you sink a bit deeper into the luxurious bedding. You wonder if you’ll ever be able to sleep on sheets this nice again once you figure out how to break the tether between you and you’re finally allowed to go home.

“Why say it where other people can hear if you didn’t want them to pick it up?” you shoot back, determined to get the last say, at least in this.

Sylus sets down his cup, cocking his head to look at you, “It’s not a joke if there’s no one around to hear the punchline.”

You level him with a glare, “Is that all I am to you? A joke?”

“Shouldn’t be a problem if I’m just your captor, right?”

You open your mouth to retort, only to find your voice stolen by the sight of him, kissed gold by the rising sun. You’ve never been one to obsess over beauty but even you can’t pretend to be unaffected.

Like this, he looks hewn from marble, a statue at the loving hands of a besotted sculptor — a lazy god rendered into silk and stone. He is smooth skin and burning eyes and a jawline that might’ve been turned on a diamond cutter’s lathe. There’s a base carnality in the way he looks at you (and looks at you) — his gaze so penetrating that somehow, you don’t think you’ve ever been seen this way before.

There’s a damnable elegance to him, even as his lips twitch up into a tell-tale smirk.

“What?” he asks, leaning forward just an inch, but the distance feels exaggerated by your closeness, such that suddenly, you’ve got to lean back to look into his face. He licks his own lips languorously, and you feel your chest tighten on a torque, caught in the turn of his smile.

“Kitten got your tongue?” he asks.

You shake yourself, shifting back slightly, “You’re mixing your metaphors,” you say, trying to keep your eyes from straying back to his face.

“They’re my metaphors to do with as I wish. So. Aren’t you going to answer?”

“Answer what?”

“What you think you heard me say, right before you woke up.”

You cup your palms around your coffee mug, feeling its heat seep steadily into your skin. There’s a familiar tingle at the tips of your ears and you know you’re already blushing.

Stupid coffee, you think, trying hard to school your expression into a frown, stupid Sylus, you add to yourself, taking a long sip and biting back your sigh of relief at the mundane magic of caffeine and sugar.

“Does it matter what I think?” you sidestep the question.

Sylus doesn’t miss a beat, “If it didn’t, would I have asked?”

The torniquet in your chest twists tight enough to make your stomach flip as well. You chew on your bottom lip, mulling over your answer.

“I never hated you…” you say, finally, your voice barely more than a whisper or a breath. And even as the words fall from you like so many rose petals, you’re unsure if you’re repeating his words back at him or making an admission of your own.

Sylus only shifts back to his side of the bed, leaning against his pile of pillows. Your wrists sit atop the sheets, inches apart, and yet you can’t deny the dull pull of gravity between you, as if something beneath your skin is itching to be close to his.

You turn to face him, twisting your fingers in your lap.

The quiet softens around you both, settling until you let out another long breath.

“So…” you drag out the word as Sylus glances up at you, expectant. His eyes flicker with the fire of the rising dawn behind you, and in them, you can see the shadow of yourself, painted in darkness against the light.

“What’s for breakfast?” you ask.

Sylus chuckles, his head listing sideways as he studies you.

“Whatever you’d like.”

“Hm…” you make a show of swinging your legs out of the bed, shivering slightly as your feet come into contact with the cool marble floors, “are there pancakes?”

Sylus stretches his arms over his head, letting out a soft groan that evokes something inside you that you’d rather not examine at the moment. You keep yourself turned resolutely away from him even as you hear the distinct sounds of him getting out of bed as well.

“No, but there can be — you only need ask.”

“Fine, I want pancakes,” you say, finally turning around, only to find him standing right behind you, his silk robe discarded on the floor by the bed, his chest broad and entirely bare. Your breath catches in your throat as he cocks an eyebrow.

“Is that asking?”

You crinkle your nose, forcing air back into your lungs.

“Okay, okay — can we have pancakes?”

Amusement dances behind his eyes as he bends over you, propping a hand casually on the dresser behind you to limit your movements.

“And the magic word?”

You narrow your eyes, “Nevermind!”

“Mm — wrong. Two more tries.”

You try to duck under his arm but he catches you easily, spinning you back around to face him, nearly sweeping Mephisto from his perch on the dresser. The crow lets out an offended caw and flaps off towards the far end of the room, coming to a disgruntled rest on the back of a satin loveseat.

“Let me go!”

“Wrong again — last chance.”

You sink your nails into the skin of his forearm, trying not to think of the taut muscles corded there. He doesn’t even wince, though for a second, the tether between your wrists flares up like a fanned flame.

“Fine! Please!”

Sylus straightens with a satisfied smirk, turning around to make for the bedroom door. Your chest is heaving, and the sudden space between you make your head spin. You blink at his retreating form, and it isn’t till he reaches the door that he turns to glance at you over his shoulder.

“Hope you like raspberry jam.”

You level your breathing and hurry to catch up, clutching your own sleeping robe tighter around your chest as you fall into step next to him.

“I thought you didn’t like sweet things.”

He opens the door and steps aside for you to walk through first.

“I never said it was for me.”

---

be part of my taglist! or read me on ao3

[mugiwara-lucy]

I just had the funniest dream last night 😂

Imagine the Straw Hat Crew ending up in Wisteria Lane and meeting the Wives! 🤣😆

[waaana]

Sunmi ( solista )!★

[bleaksqueak]

Audric is so damn pretty!!!! Have you ever thought about drawing genderswap versions of your chars for fun?

Big sis Audrelia with little sis Elisa?

And otherwise - how would they react to seeing their brother genderswapped suddenly?

ahaha ty! He has an unfair advantage with the gift of his parents' genetics. (Lyra acting like an unhinged goblin in the bg, but her beauty shines through.) Hmm... honestly I don't think anyone would even notice with Elias. Not at first, anyway.

[psychopomp-namine]

hiiii lotm fandom, I'm super new to this so I'm gonna come off as ignorant. but does anyone know if the spark nexa lotm game is like. I thought it was fanmade at first, but is it actually legit? they're making a lotm game? :o

also I'm only in ch33, I'm still at the very very beginning so please don't spoil. the video just randomly came up on my youtube recommendations so now I'm curious what the state of lotm adaptations are (I know there's a donghua coming sometime this year I guess I'll try to catch up to that arc by then)

[skitskatdacat63]

“Amore et Timore” - King Fernando I “El Animoso”

[oceanfalls-official]

Oceanfalls and Antino go extremely hard, I'm impressed with your work on it.

What would you do if you met characters like everybody in Oceanfalls, (Counting multiple iterations of Nino's behavior as separate or the same depending on what you want). People extremely similar to them, but not actually them in real life, but similar to the point of you questioning everything's sense of humor.

Thank you Anon! I am glad you enjoy it.

Uhmm, I guess it could be fun to befriend such people? Some of the Oceanfalls characters have personalities I would get along with really well IRL. For example I would probably go out of my way to get to know someone like Aria or Reed better, despite normally being a pretty reserved person myself.

[hansolsticio]

★ ˙ ̟ ─── . “𝒅𝒂𝒚𝒅𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒎 (make me empty)”.

— heeseung canalha × leitora. — 𝗰𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗴𝗼𝗿𝗶𝗮: smut. — 𝗽𝗮𝗹𝗮𝘃𝗿𝗮𝘀: 3141. — 𝗮𝘃𝗶𝘀𝗼𝘀: continuação de “chantilly”, plushie riding, innocence kink, penetração, oral (m. & f.) & autoerotismo. — 𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗮𝘀: oi, cês já podem parar de me xingar.

𝒔𝒊𝒏𝒐𝒑𝒔𝒆. ficaria entre você, ele e os bichos de pelúcia.

O sangue fervia, remexendo-se na cama desde que resolvera se deitar. Já havia tomado banho e trocado de pijama, a outra peça tinha sido arruinada, impossível dormir com ela. A última resposta de Heeseung deveria ter sido há uns quarenta minutos, é provável que ele próprio tenha caído no sono — coisa que, inclusive, você queria ser capaz de fazer, mas havia algo te impedindo. O incômodo em certa parte do seu corpo era digno de vergonha. Precisou pressionar as pernas uma contra a outra mais vezes do que gostaria de admitir.

Suspirou, virou-se na cama novamente.

Sabia o que precisava fazer para ficar em paz consigo mesma, porém não queria aceitar. A mente tornava-se criativa demais quando estava regada de pensamentos corrompidos: não queria render-se ao mesmo método de sempre, sentia-se especialmente mais obscena — queria algo tão impuro quanto o que Heeseung estava prestes a te oferecer mais cedo.

Mordeu um sorriso dentro da boca com o primeiro pensamento que apareceu para remediar seu tesão. A parte moralista do seu cérebro — minúscula nesse momento — quis te reprimir, te fazer sentir vergonha por sequer ter pensado sobre isso.

Foda-se. De verdade.

Agarrou um dos ursinhos de pelúcia que estava jogado ao lado do seu corpo. Não era de todo inusitado, já havia brincado assim antes. Por isso, soube exatamente o que estava fazendo quando abriu as perninhas para acomodá-lo ali no meio, posicionado-o do jeitinho mais gostoso que conseguiu. Impulsionou os quadris com certa timidez e o carinho gostoso foi bom o bastante para te fazer querer mais. Apertou a pelúcia entre os dedinhos trêmulos empurrando os quadris contra ela mais uma vez. A sensação lançou um arrepio pelo seu corpo, porém não seria suficiente — e era trabalhoso demais fazer desse jeito.

Riu em descrença quando se viu tirando o shortinho do pijama que usava. Só podia ser a porra de uma adolescente na puberdade para tomar essa decisão tão descarada. Livrou-se da parte de cima também, levantando-se cuidadosamente para colocar o ursinho no meio das pernas. Sentou-se abrindo as coxas o quanto podia, encaixando o relevo no pontinho sensível. Sentia-se degenerada, imoral… mas isso estava fazendo sua bucetinha escorrer e era só o que importava agora.

Apoiou as palmas no rosto do ursinho — já que esta era a parte que ficava para fora. Correu os olhos pelo cômodo, sabia exatamente para onde queria olhar. Cruzou olhares consigo mesma ao encarar o espelho ao lado da porta, o móvel era grande o suficiente para te deixar ter uma boa visão de toda cena — ainda que com a iluminação limitada do abajur ao lado da sua cama.

Sorriu corrompida, como se provocasse a si mesma. Deslizou pelo reflexo, hipnotizada com sua maneira desesperada de rebolar, faminta por prazer. Cada detalhe da visão era excitante, desde a força explícita com a qual você se agarrava à pelúcia, os dedos quase perfurando o tecido, até o fato de estar usando algo tão puro e casto de um jeito tão sujo. Rebolou mais forte, exibindo-se para o espelho. Arrepiou-se ao que a fricção fez arder um pouquinho. Os olhos voltaram a fitar seu rostinho, a expressão tornava-se cada vez mais enfraquecida, mais manhosa. Mordia a boquinha excitando-se com a cena — parecia tão estúpida, rendida à própria bucetinha e ao quão bem ela fazia você se sentir. Deleitando-se com o fato de que poderia brincar com ela o tempo inteiro, sem nunca se cansar.

Cuspiu nos próprios dedos com pressa, levantando-se um pouco para levá-los ao meio das pernas. Espalhou a saliva entre as dobrinhas a fim de tornar a sensação melhor, mas se perdeu fácil no objetivo: os olhinhos se apertaram ao sentir o quão inchadinha estava, o quanto escorria — gostosa pra caralho. No entanto, impediu-se de fazer mais que isso, sabia que gozaria rápido demais se usasse seus dedinhos. Resolveu brincar com seu corpo, voltando a rebolar no recorte de tecido já encharcado do ursinho. Pendeu a cabeça para o lado, apertando as próprias coxas, arranhando a barriga…

O toque correu fácil, quase escorreu.

Alcançou os peitinhos bonitos, os aconchegando nas mãos. Os polegares esfregaram os biquinhos com cuidado, a sensação era leve, mas ainda assim muito boa. Quis colocá-los dentro da própria boquinha, eles mereciam tanto carinho quanto seu pontinho sensível — o faria se pudesse, mas tinha que se contentar só com suas mãos. Rebolou com mais força para tentar compensar a falta de estímulos a mais, a testa franzindo com a mudança na intensidade. Nem a pressa em morder o lábio te impediu de deixar um gemidinho escapar. Foi fraco, hesitante, porém suficiente para fazer você se arrepiar inteirinha. Arriscou mais um, baixinho — intencional dessa vez —, embriagando-se com o som gostoso.

Um nome específico dançou na sua boca em meio aos gemidinhos.

O pensamento voltou a Heeseung, foi inevitável.

Ficaria tão dengosa assim quando fosse ele te fodendo? Talvez ficasse bem pior. Precisou morder a língua para se conter, queria implorar em voz alta, chamar por Heeseung, pedir ‘pra ele usar sua bucetinha bem gostoso — assim como ele prometeu que faria.

Sente ter fantasiado tão intensamente que acabou materializando-o.

O trinco virou e o homem abriu a porta num movimento lento demais, a aparição parecia invenção da sua mente entorpecida, mas sabia que finalmente era ele. O rosto masculino iluminou-se em surpresa ao vislumbrar a cena que você não fez questão de esconder — ele era o motivo por trás daquilo afinal.

Ele aproximou-se com cautela, parecia temer te assustar ou algo assim. Sua cintura desacelerou, mas não cessou o movimento. O homem abaixou-se para deixar um estalinho molhado na sua boca. Íntimo, apreciativo. Porém logo lambeu os lábios, prestes a dizer algo malicioso:

“Achei que ‘cê fosse minha princesinha inocente…”, sussurrou, olhando de cima a baixo como se te julgasse — não houve um átomo de irritação no seu corpo dessa vez, só te esquentou.

“Eu sou…”, fez charme, as mãos se cruzando em frente ao corpo para se apoiarem na pelúcia novamente, posando como uma gatinha.

“Não, não é.”, negou com mais firmeza, aproveitando-se da diferença de altura oferecida pela posição para te subjugar. “Não soube esperar por mim e ainda te encontro fazendo coisa de putinha? Que feio...”, só que a atuação não se sustentou muito, o olhar preso no ursinho no meio das suas pernas fez ele rir de canto. Heeseung observou a quantidade meio vergonhosa de pelúcias espalhadas pela cama. Algumas de infância, outras que você comprou já depois de adulta, algumas presentes de ex-namorados… te faziam companhia todas as noites. Mas aparentemente não era só isso que elas faziam.

“A gente precisa ser rápido, hm? Se teu irmãozinho acordar e não me ver lá, ele deve vir atrás.”, a menção ao homem dançou cheia de desdém em meio a um sorrisinho canalha. Heeseung levou as mãos ao cinto da própria calça, desatando o enlace. Livrou o pau da calça sem fazer cerimônia alguma, não havia novidade naquilo — não depois do que aconteceu na cozinha. Segurava a extensão com uma das mãos, as veias pulsar languidamente, lutando contra o cerco, a glande vermelhinha expelia uma gotinha grossa de pré-porra que fazia sua garganta secar.

Era difícil não encarar e Heeseung pareceu perceber isso, afinal um risinho sacana alcançou sua audição:

"Tão linda… sou apaixonado nessa boquinha, sabia?”, soube exatamente o que estava prestes a vir. Pulsou, pressionando o quadril para baixo com mais força. “Deixa eu colocar meu caralho aqui, vida? Só um pouquinho.", o pedido veio coberto de um dengo teatral, manipulador. Você não quis negar nem por um segundo, de acordo em ser usada do jeito que fosse — só queria saciar a fantasia.

Estar perto da borda te ajudou muito. Não precisou desmontar da pelúcia para ser capaz de alcançar Heeseung, ainda que precisasse se inclinar um pouquinho para ficar na altura correta. Obediente, não fez nada por conta própria, nada que ele não mandasse. Abriu a boquinha, se mantendo estática ao que olhou-o por baixo dos cílios. Ganhou um afago nos cabelos, que logo serviram de acessório para que ele conseguisse manipular sua cabeça.

"Só um pouquinho, ouviu?” , reforçou, guiando a extensão até sua boquinha. “Só vou dar leitinho gostoso dentro dela depois…”, esfregou a glande contra sua língua antes de forçar a entrada do restante da extensão.

O paladar encheu-se de um sabor salgado, fincou as unhas contra o ursinho quando notou que a espessura te forçava a abrir mais a boca — mais do que você havia calculado. A língua inquieta forçou-se contra a lateral, sentindo o desenho das veias protuberantes. Os olhinhos pesaram de tesão, quis mover a cabeça para mamar a extensão gostosa por vontade própria, porém Heeseung não livrava o aperto nos seus fios, não importa o quanto se esforçasse. Descontou a frustração no movimento da cinturinha, rebolando com mais pressa.

"Gostosa filha da puta, porra...", grunhiu, sorrindo degenerado. “Baba meu pau, vida. Vai entrar mais gostoso assim.”, a orientação acompanhou mais um afago terno na sua cabeça. E obedecê-lo havia virado natural. Abriu mais a boquinha, deixando a saliva escorrer da sua boca. Sentiu o líquido traçar caminho pelo seu queixo, pingando no vão entre os seus seios — pareceu queimar, sua pele arrepiou. Cerrou os olhinhos outra vez, apertando o interior das bochechas para sugar a cabecinha.

Heeseung jura ter perdido o controle por alguns segundos, achou que ia estourar de tanta porra. Libertou-se do aperto da sua boquinha num empurrão meio desmedido te fazendo cair de pernas abertinhas em frente a ele, os braços se apoiando atrás do seu corpo no último segundo. Você demorou a assimilar o que aconteceu, tão atordoada — só conseguia prestar atenção na ardência no meio das suas coxas. Assistiu o homem se ajoelhando aos pés da cama, o olhar fixo em um só ponto:

“Porra, até a bucetinha é de princesa…”, resmungou, o olhar vidrado no lugarzinho arruinado. Os dedos dele correram pelas dobrinhas com delicadeza, como se temesse machucar. “Maltratou ela todinha. Tá até inchadinha, vida…”, o denguinho nas palavras te enfraqueceu — sentiu a entradinha vazar, era patético. “Eu posso dar beijo, linda? Precisa beijar ‘pra sarar.”, a pergunta era retórica, tanto que sequer esperou uma resposta. Heeseung afundou o rosto no meio das suas coxas, a ponta do nariz fazendo pressão contra o buraquinho. Selou o clitóris inchadinho, lambendo a bolinha de nervos com cautela. Claramente preocupado com a falta de tempo, envolveu as dobrinhas num beijo generoso.

Cuspia, te lambia inteirinha, chupava cada cantinho… basicamente esfregava o rostinho bonito na sua buceta.

Você assistiu a cena totalmente estúpida, tão embriagada com a devoção do homem que mal reagiu ao prazer. Quis até mesmo resmungar quando ele engatinhou até sua boca — rápido demais na sua opinião —, compartilhando o gosto do seu melzinho com a língua na sua. E Heeseung não era idiota ao ponto de não notar o quão desconcertada você ficou com tão pouco:

“Sem apaixonar, princesinha.”, sussurrou contra os seus lábios, você deveria ter previsto que o risinho malandro não prenunciava coisa boa. Era um convencido.

“Vai se ferrar…”, acabou por rir também, nada ameaçadora, talvez pelo fato de você também não conseguir evitar um sorriso bobo — ou sequer se afastar da boca dele. Se antes achava impossível sentir-se ainda mais nua e vulnerável do que agora, havia mudado de ideia. O homem puxou um preservativo do bolso de trás, colocando-o com agilidade. Cuspiu nos próprios dedos, masturbando a extensão com pressa antes de pincelar a ponta contra o buraquinho molhado. Te invadiu devagar, Heeseung parecia ter noção de todos os pensamentos que rondavam sua cabeça quando forçou mais um pouco, assistindo você lutando para não deixar que os olhinhos revirassem.

"Tá tremendo por quê, neném?", zombou, assistindo suas coxas lutando para se manterem abertas. Estava fundo ‘pra caralho, não achava ter ido tão longe com nenhum dos seus brinquedinhos.

“Va-vai se foder…”, o tom choroso sequer te deixou soar séria. “Hee, não dá…”, negou com a cabeça, sofregando baixinho a cada centímetro que te alargava. Gulosa, no entanto, não queria abrir mão — por isso, não desfazia o enlace das suas pernas na cintura dele mesmo reclamando.

“Quietinha. Aguenta quietinha.”, sussurrou, encaixando mais. A bucetinha contraiu com a voz gostosa, Hee nunca conseguiria colocar tudo desse jeito — era uma princesinha sensível demais. Mudou de estratégia, girando vagarosamente para trocar de lugar contigo sem tirar o caralho de dentro de você. “Faz sozinha, princesa.”, comandou, as mãos grandes apertando a sua bunda para auxiliar. Esticou seu rabinho o quando pôde, como se tentasse abrir a bucetinha apertada no processo.

Você já estava burrinha demais para sentir outra coisa que não fosse tesão com cada coisinha que o homem fazia com o seu corpo. Forçou-se para baixo, encaixando o quanto conseguiu. Afundar o rostinho no ombro dele foi a única coisa que te restou para remediar o quanto o buraquinho reclamava, os chorinhos eram adoráveis — Heeseung precisou respirar fundo ‘pra não esporrar na camisinha.

Pareceu perder qualquer inibição quando passou a rebolar. O corpo desmanchava-se num laço que desatava devagar, como se fosse capaz de sentir sua sanidade evaporando aos pouquinhos. Absorta, pensando no quanto precisava experimentar mais daquele prazer, do quanto precisava que a sensação no meio das suas pernas se espalhasse para todo o resto da sua pele.

Te sobrecarregava, mas era insuficiente.

Não conseguia parar de pulsar, mesmo rebolando mais forte. Porra, era tanto tesão que sentia seu corpo enfraquecendo, precisava lutar contra si própria para continuar se movendo.

“Hee… por favor…”, pede por clemência, ainda que não soubesse muito bem o que clemência significava nessa situação. Forçou os próprios olhos a se abrirem, Heeseung não parecia tão diferente. Mordia o lábio, a testa franzida com todo o esforço que ele fazia para não te agarrar pela cintura e te usar como bem queria. “Por favor…”, choraminga outra vez, mas faz questão de olhá-lo nos olhos agora.

Heeseung quer te arruinar, mas você o faz antes. O movimento vagaroso não é mais suficiente, precisa dele forte, bem fundo — dando o carinho que você precisava. Ergue a cintura, subindo até a cabecinha sensível para deixar o corpo cair com toda a força que consegue. Produzia um ruído pegajoso, a bucetinha escorrendo um líquido esbranquiçado em volta da extensão que mal cabia por completo.

"Shhhh… devagarinho.”, as mãos subiram até sua cintura, apertando a carne em tom de alerta. “'Tá querendo que seu irmão apareça aqui?", ameaçou. Não surtiu efeito. Molhava-se tanto que basicamente sentia a entradinha gozando com cada sentada mais forte. “____. Devagar, porra.”

“Heeseung-”

“Para. Já deu.”

“Eu quero forte…”, faz manha, o timbre é digno de pena. Heeseung sequer conseguiu fingir que não foi afetado, a extensão pulsando dentro de você.

"Porra, 'cê sabe que não dá. Se comporta que depois arrumo um lugar 'pra te comer direito.”, firmou o aperto no seu corpo, finalmente forçando os movimentos a diminuírem de velocidade.

"Eu quero agora...", patética, tão fraquinha de piroca que sequer consegue se impedir de agir como virgenzinha — Heeseung deveria mesmo estar achando que você nunca deu a buceta.

"Fecha o olhinho e aproveita.", ignorou deliberadamente, forçando um vai-e-vem vagaroso com os seus quadris. As bocas buscaram uma pela outra em meio ao movimento, presos num frenesi gostoso demais, mal conseguiam mantê-las juntas — afastando-se a cada segundo para arfar. Carente, você mamou a língua grossa para se impedir de gemer alto, o corpo amolecendo com cada estalinho ruidoso. Heeseung fazia questão de babar sua boca o quanto conseguia, mordendo seus lábios sempre que te sentia apertando a bucetinha.

Quando a porta do quarto a frente do seu abriu vocês não foram exatamente capazes de ouvir, tão embriagados de tesão que a única coisa audível era o beijo dengoso que compartilhavam. Somente quando passos descendo as escadas ecoaram pelo corredor que vocês dois trocaram um olhar meio desesperado — ainda incapazes de assimilar muita coisa que não o tesão que sentiam. Você foi a primeira a reagir de alguma maneira (novamente), afastando-se da boquinha gostosa num estalo. Heeseung não mostrou reação, a piroca babona ainda pulsando dentro de você.

Viu-se cega por prazer outra vez. Não poderia perder a chance de novo, droga, não. Já viciadinha demais na sensação melada no meio das suas pernas. Num impulso, livrou-se de todos os esforços do homem de se manter em silêncio — seu irmão estava na parte de baixo da casa, sequer deveria escutar —, voltou a sentar meio desesperada. Foda-se. Só conseguia pensar em transar até Heeseung te fazer chorar.

“Hee, ele-”, tentou explicar a mudança repentina. Mas o homem sequer quis escutar:

“Shhhh, quieta.”, guiou o movimento, te estimulando a continuar. “Teimosa do caralho. Não sabe nem pensar direito por causa de pau, ‘né isso? Goza então, porra. Mas goza rápido.”, puto — o suficiente para te fazer virar os olhos, gemendo meio desesperada. Ele já devia ter previsto, tanto que usa uma das mãos para cobrir sua boca.

A urgência em se entregar parece triplicar. Não finge recato, não mais. Tudo em Heeseung te forçava a ser tão suja quanto queria. A adrenalina contida em cada passo do lado de fora fazia seu ventre apertar. Os olhinhos arderam em prazer, soluçando alto contra a mão dele ao que rebolava sedenta no caralho que fazia você se esticar inteirinha. Ouviu os passos voltando a se aproximar, somados à porta do cômodo a frente abrindo — ele devia estar entrando no quarto.

Seus movimentos aumentaram a cadência. Desesperada para gozar, jura ser capaz de sentir o gosto do orgasmo na sua boca. O suor escorria pelo seu pescoço, mas não ia muito longe: Heeseung agora lambia cada gotinha sem pudor algum.

“Dando ‘pra mim com ele atrás da porta? Tão vagabunda...”, sussurrou, o timbre grave enchendo sua audição. A persona arisca de mais cedo reduzida a uma cadelinha sedenta por pau. Dengosa e fraca demais para ser capaz de rebater — era excitante abrir a boca só para pedir por mais prazer. “Falei que ia te fazer virar putinha, não falei?”, uma lambidinha foi deixada no lóbulo da sua orelha. Heeseung apertou os dígitos na carne da sua bunda.

“Para, Hee…”, choramingou abafado. O buraquinho judiado vazando, pingando quase.

“Para você.”, o comando não tinha peso algum, na verdade, soou como se te desafiasse — afastou-se, o olhar voltando ao seu rostinho sedento. “Não consegue parar?”, inclinou a cabeça, zombando da tentativa que nem existiu. “Olha a bagunça que ‘cê tá fazendo…”, o discurso obsceno não parecia ter fim. “Deixa eu foder essa bucetinha no pelo, vai?”, a proposta acompanhou uma lambidinha no queixo, você jurou que ia gozar com a possibilidade. A boquinha aberta ‘pra gemer perdia o controle outra vez, quase babava. “Igual putinha de verdade, bebê. É mais gostoso.”, sedutor, miava as palavras contra o seu rostinho fraco — sabia que não precisava de muito para conquistar. “Deixa?”

Três batidas na porta deixaram a resposta presa na sua garganta. O destino parecia empenhado em evitar que você tomasse decisões imprudentes nessa madrugada:

“_____? Tá acordada?”

— 𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗮𝘀: "é que nem a billie eilish batendo siririca pra ela no espelho... não viram essa notícia?"

( ✶. ) © 2025 hansolsticio ── 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓.

[revasserium]

you

hayato suo; 5,844 words; fluff and angst, semi!dark content, obsessive behavior, stalking, emotional manipulation, stalker!suo,big brother!togame

summary: fool me once, shame on me. fool me twice, shame on you.

a/n: this was written for both @pixelcafe-network's challenge friday prompt (i got the song 'shinunoga e-wa' which... well.) as well as @peachsukii's wonderful horror event! pls proceed with caution!

It is not a healthy obsession.

But obsessions rarely are.

The first time he sees you is through the hazy mist of a Monday morning, walking to school with Sakura and Nirei trailing behind him, bickering about a possible pop quiz in Japanese Literature that afternoon. Suo grins, his fingers laced behind his back as he nods along. He’ll do fine even if there is a pop-quiz. He knows, he knows —

And then, there you are, caught in the glimmer of sunrise, your cheeks brushed pink by rosy-fingered dawn — standing across the street, a tinkling conglomeration of phone charms dangling from your wrist. You’re turned to one side, laughing with someone he can’t quite see — and in that moment, Suo Hayato learns the meaning of the word jealousy.

He thought he had known it before but he knew then that every emotion he’d felt prior to this has been a mere shadow, a weak and straggling imitation of the real thing — curiosity, jealousy, fear, want —

“Suo-san?” Nirei’s voice is an unwanted interruption to his intense study of you, but he has a reputation to upkeep, so he turns and grins.

“Hm?”

“What’re you lookin’ at?” Sakura supplies over Nirei’s hitched hesitation.

Suo turns back towards where you were standing just a second ago, but you’re not there anymore. For a stomach-wrenching moment, he thinks he’s lost you, and he scans the street desperately for the shape of you until — ah — there.

“Who is that?” Suo asks, taking care to keep his voice casual, leaning over to bump Nirei with his shoulder. Nirei goes red at the contact before whipping out his little black booklet and flipping through the pages, clearing his throat.

“She just moved here!” Nirei supplies after announcing your name, “seems like she’s good friends with Togame from —”

“Shishitoren,” Suo finishes, his voice falling flat. His eyes catch on the sweep of your skirt as you casually loop your arm through Togame’s, leaning into his body as he ruffles your hair. Suo wonders, briefly, if he’d have been able to beat Togame had they been paired together in the faceoff and for a second, he resents Sakura for being the one chosen to fight him.

That night, he dreams of the softness of your touch, the tenderness of your palms, warm against his, and the intoxicating sweep of your eyelashes. He dreams of the milky skin of your thighs, of the candy-cane sweetness of your breath when you lean in to whisper something in his ear.

He wakes up sated and tempered, and he resolves to find out everything about you.

And it’s not difficult, not with a friend like Nirei.

You’re a childhood friend of Togame’s, a recent addition to the Shishitoren roster, though you’re not a fighter yourself. You remind him of Kotoha and he can already imagine you quipping back at his good-natured banter, how you’d flick your bangs from across your eyes.

He wanders across the borders on purpose, just to see you, but he’s good enough to stay out of sight. Though, even if he were found out, things between Boufuurin and Shishitoren are good now, aren’t they? There’s no reason he shouldn’t act as liaison, and build some new bridges between the two, is there?

“You were so serious for a while, Jou,” he overhears you say, hidden behind a hedge at a nearby park, his back pressed to the large tree under which you and Togame are, the pair of you on the park bench just beneath it’s shade.

“Was I? Yeah… guess I was. Went through a bad patch there,” Togame’s voice is deep, churning Suo’s stomach till it goes sour. Suo wonders if you like guys like this — all whisky and smoke and lazy Sundays. Somehow, he thinks you’d be more into guys like him —

Guys who would hold your hand like it’s the only thing they were put on this earth to do right. Guys who might kiss you and keep kissing you till he’s sure it’s perfect. He feels a gut-deep hatred of Togame, of the careless way he slings his arm around your shoulders, or the way he reaches out to ruffle your hair, mussing up your bangs.

Suo closes his eyes and leans back against the thick tree trunk and to anyone else, it might’ve looked like napping, or an afternoon meditation session. But in the theatre of Suo’s mind, he can see the way he would comb his fingers through your hair, how he’d treasure each silken tress, how he might press his nose into the crown of your head and breathe in deep — he can almost smell the citrus and coconut scent of your shampoo — he’d seen it when he paused by your house earlier that week.

It had been such an easy thing, and you’re so, so trusting. Leaving your front door unlocked, hurrying out because you were late for an afterschool cram session. Suo had followed you all the way from underneath the train tracks, telling himself that he was only watching out for you, like any good gentleman might do. He couldn’t exactly count on the ruffians from Shishitoren to look out for you — not like he would.

He’d slipped into your small house, easy as pushing through the door. And immediately, he’s caught by the scent of you — the slightly musty smell of wood and tatami mats, the floral, milky scent of your body cream, the damp trail that undoubtedly leads into your bathroom, where you’d just taken a shower (he’s sure; your hair was still wet when you ran out the door). He’d wandered through your house as if walking through a dream, lingering over the plastic wrappers in your garbage, from convenience store sandwiches. He frowns — a girl like you should have a more balanced diet, and he makes a mental note to change that.

He’d gone from room to room, pausing over this and that, tracing his fingers over the corners of your cabinets, the thin wooden railing along the steep flight of stairs leading to the second floor. He’d paused by your bedroom just to take it in — the girlishness of it, the pink bedsheets, patterned with tiny flowers, the stuffed animals toppled one over the other, the indent where you’d probably sat as you dried your hair. It’s not as neat as his own room, but there’s an orderliness that pleases him. He smiles as he notices a pair of discarded sleep shorts, crumpled by the bed; he toys with the idea of picking it up before thinking better of it.

Not now — not yet.

He takes careful stock of your medicine cabinet in your bathroom, memorizes the shampoo and conditioner bottles. He uncaps your favorite bottle of perfume (the one that’s almost finished) and breathes in deep, his senses sizzling within him as he feels his body prickling with heat, a swirling desire crystalizing at the base of his stomach.

Carefully, he unscrews the top and dabs a drop on each of his wrists before capping the bottle and placing it back exactly as it was.

And now, sitting here, listening to you and Togame talk, he feels a deep sense of satisfaction as he pulls a fresh bottle of the perfume from his pocket, turning the little bottle over and over in his palm. He’d found it easily enough, it’s a well-known brand, and not overly expensive.

“Oh — thanks for the fruits, by the way,” you say, “it had all my favorites!”

“Ah… fruits?” Togame asks.

“Mm — the basket that was sitting outside my door… wasn’t it from you? Or maybe Chouji… but anyways, it was nice! I had almost finished the lychee in one sitting — had to stop myself before it gave me a stomach ache.”

You laugh and Suo basks in the sound.

Togame chuckles, though there’s a distinct note of uncertainty that makes Suo’s lips twist.

“You used to eat them until you gave yourself nosebleeds,” he says, and there’s the distinct sounds of a tussle. You yelp, the sound dovetailing into a laugh as the smile slips off Suo’s face. His eyes snap open — he can almost see it, how Togame might reach over to pinch at your cheeks, how you might duck or swat him away.

Suo himself would never be so unruly.

“I gotta get to the bookstore — I’m covering for Momo’s shift today.”

He hears you getting to your feet, Togame following suit. Togame offers to walk you but you decline. And then you separate, each going your own ways. Suo waits till he’s sure you’re both gone before slowly getting to his feet, tucking the bottle of perfume back into his pocket.

The bookshop is a quaint little thing, tucked into a row of storefronts, all family owned and run. He takes a deep breath before ducking in, hitching a pleasant smile onto his face.

“Welcome!” your voice is bright as silver bells, “can I help you find anything today?”

Suo makes a show of looking around, eyes scanning the rows and rows of books, and then the manga section in the back. He points.

“Actually, yes — there’s a manga series that I love and I’m waiting for the next installment.”

You grin, “Sure! What’s the name? We don’t carry a huge stock, but I can definitely check for you!”

Suo delights in the blush that seeps into your cheeks as he mentions the name of your favorite shoujou manga (he’d seen the volumes at your house, the latest volume left open on your bed).

“O-oh! You like that one too?” you ask, your eyes scanning his face, as if this all might be a joke.

“Yeah!” Suo answers, linking his hands behind his back as you round the front table and lead him towards the manga section, “I think the art is nice but mostly, I like the slow development of romance between the two main characters — even though you know from the beginning they’re meant for each other.”

He’d done his homework; it’d taken a few days for him to read through the entire series, but he’d done it. For you, he would’ve done that and more.

You turn towards him, eyes wide and bright and excited.

“Yes! That’s so true! Here — this is the newest one, just came out three days ago —”

Suo takes it, letting his fingers skim by yours, reveling in the way your skin feels against his. Of course, he’s already read the latest volume, but he clutches it to his chest anyway and follows you to the front, content to listen to you chatter about the series and the reasons you love it.

“— just… I know it’s a shoujou series, and the main guy is meant to be lovable but — it’s just so realistic! Like he’s not perfect, but he just wants to do his best to protect the girl, y’know? And it’s so cute —”

Suo nods, reaching into his pocket for some cash.

You flap him away, “You can have that one! Think of it as a bribe — to keep you coming back for the next one,” you say, twin patches of darkness riding high in your cheeks.

Suo schools his expression into a bashful grin, “Are you sure? I can pay — I mean, I’d never turn down a gift from a pretty girl but —”

You tuck a strand of hair behind your ear, fiddling with your fingers, “I’m sure! Just… promise you’ll come back when you finish it so we can talk about it, okay?”

Suo nods, curling his fingers into the cover of the book, his heartbeat in his throat.

“Alright then. It’s a date.”

That night, he places the manga volume and the bottle of perfume next to each other on his shelf, leaning back to admire his handiwork. He brings his wrist up to his nose, taking a long breath — it’s not the same, the perfume against his skin as it would be against yours, but it’s enough for now — enough to pretend.

It does not take long after that, not with his frequent visits to the bookshop (he’s long since memorized your work schedule) and the growing friendship between Shishitoren and Boufuurin — it’s almost easy. Too easy.

And you are so perfect, so naive — so easy to manipulate that Suo almost feels bad — almost. When he leans in to kiss you for the first time, the pair of you tucked in the far stacks of the bookstore, him under the guise of helping you reach the upper shelves, he nearly loses himself in the way you gasp against his lips, your fingers curling into the front of his uniform.

He feels the reckless hunger that has been threatening to tear him apart every night since he first saw you that morning across the street coiling up the back of his throat as he curls his fingers into your hair and presses you to him.

When he forces himself to pull away, he’s pleased to find your eyes glassy, your lips dark and kiss-bruised, slick with spit and parted. You’re panting, your chest heaving with the sheer force of the kiss.

Suo leans down to press his forehead to yours.

“Finish your shift… I don’t want to distract you from your work.”

You nearly whine as you bury your face in his chest.

“What if — what if I want you to distract me?”

It’s a horribly cliche thing to say — in fact, Suo is certain that it’s a line lifted straight from your shoujou manga. He swallows down a groan at the thought of pushing you into the back closet and having his way with you then and there but — he reels in his mind and takes a breath, shaking his head.

“Finish your shift first,” he says, playing the part of the ever-considerate boyfriend, “then… I’ve got a present for you.”

He tugs away to press a chaste kiss to your forehead, letting his lips linger, before pulling away completely and bending down to pick up a stack of books that still need to be shelved.

You heave a long sigh, but don’t complain as you follow after him, trying your best to hide a smile that nevertheless pulls at your cheeks.

Outside the bookshop, Suo presents you with the bottle of perfume.

“I know it’s not very expensive but… for some reason, the scent made me think of you,” Suo says, his voice the perfect timber between hopeful and hesitant. You gasp, looking down at the label.

“Hayato! This is my favorite perfume! How… how did you know?”

Suo shrugs, smiling that enigmatic smile of his, “I didn’t — I just… I saw it at the store and thought of you,” he lets the heat flush into his cheeks, pursing his lips in a perfect imitation of bashfulness.

You throw your arms around him and press your lips to his cheek.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you! And I was so close to finishing my own bottle too! Ugh — this is just too perfect!” you sink back to your feet, your arms still looped around his neck.

Suo lets his hands settle around your waist, laughing as you smile up at him. And then — you’re tugging him down by the collar of his uniform, your lips finding his, and all coherent thought leaves him again.

It isn’t till someone coughs that the pair of you pull apart.

“Ah… if it isn’t Suo-san,” Togame’s voice is at once amused and slightly suspicious. Suo peers over your head and shoots him an unassuming grin.

“Togame-san — it’s been a while.”

“Jou… I didn’t know you were coming over today,” you say, ducking your head as you surreptitiously wipe at your lips with the back of your hand.

“I wasn’t, but I found myself in the area so I thought I’d drop by,” Togame’s eyes flicker between you and Suo before settling on you. There’s a curious tick to his eyebrows as you refuse to meet his gaze.

You chew on your bottom lip for a good second before saying, “So… you guys have met before, right?”

Suo nods, “Yep! It was quite a meeting, but I think we all came out of it pretty okay.”

Togame lets out a low chuckle, “Sure. You could say that. How’s Sakura doing?”

Suo shrugs, “He’s fine — but there’s not much that’ll get him down. I heard Tomiyama-san’s doing much better now too.”

Togame bobs his head, tucking his hands into his pockets, “Yeah, he is. Uh listen… I didn’t mean to intrude or anything — just wanted to check in on my uh — friend here —” he jerks his head in your direction, smirking as you blush, looking anywhere but at his face.

“I’m fine Jou — I don’t need you to babysit me.”

“Dunno, you still act plenty like a baby sometimes.”

You pout, eyes flashing as you turn to glare at him. There’s an easy tease in the lilt of Togame’s voice that sets Suo’s teeth on edge. He doesn’t like how close you and Togame are — never have — but he supposes there’s nothing he can do about it. Not right now, at least.

“Okay well we were just leaving —” you say, tugging on Suo’s sleeve.

“Yeah? Where to?” Togame asks, casual as anything, sauntering over to keep pace with the pair of you as you start down the street.

“Uhm…” you start, clearly not having thought this through, but Suo swoops in gallantly, reaching down to lace your fingers through his in a smooth, familiar motion.

“We were going to her place — to watch a movie.”

“Yeah?” Togame peers at you from over the rims of his tinted shades.

“Yeah!” you answer, perking up as you give Suo’s hand a grateful squeeze, “there’s one we’ve been meaning to watch —”

“The Talented Mr. Ripley,” Suo supplies, easy as anything.

You blink up at him, startled, but he only grins. A moment later, you blush, eyes flickering back towards Togame.

“Y-yeah — that one —”

Togame’s gaze ping-pongs between you and Suo, his brows ticking up ever so slightly.

“Yeah… I’ve seen that one — about a guy who pretends to be someone he’s not, right?”

You frown, but Suo squeezes your hand.

“Yep, that’s the one. It’s got a great roster of A-list actors, and the cinematography is really good.”

Togame nods, his eyes settling on you. You lick your lips, nodding along with Suo, flashing Togame a smile that he doesn’t return.

He walks all the way to the end of the street with the pair of you before pausing, cocking his head to watch you turn down the right with Suo at your side. You glance over your shoulder and catch his eyes; there’s a strange glimmer in them that you can’t name but it roils your stomach and makes your heart sputter like a blown out candle in your chest.

You don’t end up watching a movie at yours, but you do laze against Suo’s chest, his fingers threading through your hair as you flip through your favorite volume of your shoujou manga. Suo shifts, his nose pressing into your hair.

“I’ve always loved the scent of your shampoo — you’re almost out though, right?”

You nod absently, “Yeah, I need to buy more…”

You flip another page, and then another. In the intricately drawn manga panels, the protagonist blushes as the male lead traces his fingers along her jawline, tipping her head back for a kiss.

Suo trails deft fingers along your jaw, twisting you around. The manga falls face-down on the worn tatami mat as he covers your lips with his. There’s always been a ferocity to his kisses, but while at the bookshop, he tried to keep his decorum. Here, however, he makes no attempt to mask his hunger, his urgency as he digs his fingers into the skin of your cheek, holding you so tightly you nearly gasp at the sting.

You’re breathless when you pull back, and so is he, his eyes unfocused, his fingers curling into your hair till you wince.

“H-Hayato?” you ask, pressing a palm to his chest.

“Hm?” his single eye flickers wildly over your face, as if desperate to capture the image of you, as if might never be enough just to see you, but to carve you into his memory —

“How… how did you know about my shampoo?” you ask, tilting your head, a tiny frown creasing your forehead.

“What… what do you mean?” he asks, tugging you back down to graze his lips along yours, his words soft and distracted. You groan as he kisses you again, hoisting you up till you’re sitting over his lap, your thighs straddling his.

But you pull back, shaking your head, laughing as he chases you.

“No — I was just — I don’t think I’ve ever told you about my shampoo running low.”

Suo’s frown mirrors your own, his expression one of perfect, innocent confusion.

“Hadn’t you? Maybe I saw it the last time I was in the bathroom.”

You purse your lips, but decide not to think too hard on it. You’d probably mentioned it to him in passing — you’d spent so much time together in the past few weeks. It’s not an impossible thing.

He does so love to listen to you talk, about anything, about everything.

It isn’t till he leaves much later that night that you flick on the light in your bathroom and pull back your shower curtains.

There sit your shampoo and conditioner bottles, lined up along the wall just as they’ve always been. And, just as you remember — the bottles are definitely not see-through.

Little things start to go missing after that — your favorite hair tie, one of your well-used pencils, a single earring, a pair of sleep shorts. Though when you complain to Suo that you seem to be losing more things than usual lately, all he’d done was grin and take you to the shopping center, promising to buy whatever it is that you’d lost.

He helps you pick a new hair tie, a new set of pencils, new earrings that sparkle just as well as the first pair. You blush as he leads you towards the loungewear section, but he presses a reassuring kiss to your temple and tells you that he likes shopping with you — for you.

He whispers against the shell of your ear that he likes the thought of you in things he’s picked out for you.

You shiver at his words, all thoughts about your lost items forgotten.

Togame, though, does not seem to share your optimism about the relationship.

“Dunno — I thought he was alright when I first met him but — even then…” he trails off, casting his eyes up at the light-specked canopy of the large tree you’re both sitting under. You’d wanted to do a picnic before the weather gets too cold for one, and he’d begrudgingly agreed.

You reflect, vaguely, that you’d been seeing less and less of him these days too.

“You’re just mad that I’m spending more time with someone from Boufuurin,” you say with a determined, teasing smile. Togame fixes you with a look over his customary shades, holding your gaze till you flush and look away.

“Yeah. Sure. Maybe.”

You huff, folding your arms, “He’s not that bad! He’s actually really nice to me!”

Togame chuckles, “I believe it, it’s just… nice isn’t exactly the same as good.”

You scowl at him, “What does that even mean?” but something crystalizes in the back of your mind, hardening into a dark speck of suspicion.

You try not to think about it, try not to let it invade your thoughts — but sometimes, when you’re at the bookshop, or even when you’re home alone at night, you’d feel it — the sense that something isn’t right, that someone might be watching you.

But every time you’d turn around, you’d find yourself alone — the bookshop empty, the house quiet, except for the ancient creak of wood and the shuffle of tiny little critters beneath the floorboards.

“Why do we never go to your place?” you ask one day, over steaming bowls of noodles, the wind outside howling something fierce. Suo looks up, blinking.

He swallows his mouthful of ramen and wipes his mouth with pristine, practiced motions.

“Ah — it’s honestly a little embarrassing but… my place is a bit uh —” he shrugs, “a bit messy.”

You frown, “But… you told me that you hated mess. And there was that one time you offered to help me organize the books at the bookstore alphabetically because you said that’s how you organized them at home… right?”

Suo stares, something very much like annoyance flickering behind his eye. But a second later, he lets out a bright laugh.

“No, you’re right! It’s just — it’s not very clean right now — but if you want to see my place, you’re more welcome to see it.”

You nod, trying to convince yourself that you’d been worried for nothing.

“Yeah, I’d love to see it! And you don’t have to clean stuff up for me — I won’t judge you, I promise!” you grin, and lower your eyes back to your own bowl of ramen.

“Sure, you can come over tomorrow if you’d like,” Suo says, watching you slurp at your noodles with an indulgent grin.

You nod, flushing as you almost choke on your mouthful of noodles in your eagerness.

“Y-yeah! I’d love to! We can — we can watch that movie you were talking about.”

“Hm? Which movie?”

“Oh — that one you mentioned to Jou that one time —”

Again, that flicker of something like annoyance, sharp as a knife’s edge, and gone just as quick.

Suo’s smile is impeccable as he calls for the check, “Oh yes — it’s a great movie, one of my favorites. And I think you’ll like it too.”

“Yeah, I’m sure I will! Our tastes are so similar,” you say, grinning as the waiter brings over the check and Suo sets a stack of immaculately folded bills on the table.

“You don’t always have to pay for things, you know,” you say as he laces your hands, the pair of you ducking out into the mid-autumn chill. He reaches out to pull on your collar, adjusting your muffler, tracing the line of your cheek with an affectionate finger.

The muffler, he’d given to you as a gift only two weeks prior, saying that he’d seen it at a sale. It’s your favorite color — but just last week, you’re sure you’d passed by a storefront with the exact same muffler, touting the season’s latest fashions, with a price tag that had made your stomach drop clear out of your body.

You’d convinced yourself that there’s no way he’d spent that kind of money on a gift for you. You’re both still in school — where would he have gotten the cash? Briefly, you consider that he might’ve stolen it.

But you quickly discard that line of thought as well, berating yourself internally for doubting your own boyfriend like this.

“I know,” Suo says, grinning as he leans down for a kiss, “but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to.” And he sounds so earnest, so utterly besotted that you don’t have the heart to doubt anything else.

“You’re too good to me,” you say, shy as the pair of you start on the now familiar walk back to your tiny, two story apartment.

“Banish the notion,” Suo declares, his voice gallant, and you laugh. But he tugs you close to wrap an arm around your middle and press chilly lips to your cold-kissed cheek, “there’s no such thing.”

You flush with a delighted warmth and lean into the comfort of his embrace.

The next day, Suo brings you to his place, just as he’s promised. And just as you’d expected, it’s impeccable to the point of derision. You bite your lips, looking around at the immaculate walls and floors, the perfectly lined shelves, the cupboards stocked and stacked as if by a rather neurotic military sergeant.

“So… I’m guessing you cleaned?” you ask, setting down your bag by the door and toeing off your shoes.

Suo laughs, nodding, “Just a bit, yes.”

“A bit?”

He grins, leading you into the living room, where a tea service is set up and water is already boiling in the kitchen.

“How… what —” you’re at a loss for words as Suo kneels by the low table and washes the tea with the boiling water.

“Can you blame me? It’s my girlfriend’s first visit to my place — I had to make it perfect.”

By the time he puts on the movie, you’re already heavy with an amazing dinner and sleepy with hot tea. You lean against him, drowsing as the movie picks up and a gorgeous, dirty-blond man chats up an equally gorgeous platinum blond woman.

“Mm… which one’s the bathroom?” you ask, your voice sleepy as you totter to your feet.

“Just down the hall — second door to your right,” Suo calls.

You nod as you patter down the dark hallway, keeping one hand on the wall to steady yourself. At the first door, you twist the knob out of reflex, only to find it locked.

Frowning, you twist it again, feeling the old lock jiggling in the door frame.

Suddenly, all hints of drowisness gone, you go still, a strange, vibrating giddiness welling up inside you at the thought of seeing Suo’s bedroom.

Why would he keep it locked? What embarrassing things might you find?

You twist the doorknob slowly, putting pressure on the bottom of the knob till you feel the lock give and the door swings open into a dark, nebulous space. And with one last glance over your shoulder, you slip inside.

The bedroom is small, and neat to the point of sparseness. There’s a writing desk sitting beneath a small window, and a small bookcase tucked against the opposite wall, next to a chest of drawers.

There are no posters on the wall, but there does seem to be a map of some sort. And at first, you think it’s one of those artistic print-maps of Tokyo or some bigger city, but as your eyes adjust to the dimness, you notice tiny little flag markers, and streets that are all too familiar.

You creep closer, as if drawn by an invisible string, until you’re almost nose to nose with the map — and seeing it clearly now, your breath deadens inside your chest.

You know these streets because they’re the streets of this city — of your city, and Suo’s as well. But it’s the thin lines that connect a series of tiny flags that makes your chest go cold — spot markers of your house, your cram school, the bookstore you work at, your favorite shops and restaurants, even the park that you and Togame always go to on weekends.

And the thin lines between them — the routes you take, day in and day out, all meticulously mapped.

Dizzy, you spin around, your eyes catching on the bookshelf, where a series of little trinkets sit in succession —

An empty perfume bottle, a volume of shoujou manga, a hair tie, a pencil stub, and a single glimmering earring.

Blood thunders behind your ears as you brace yourself against the writing desk, the wood creaking slightly beneath your palms.

Your eyes catch next on the chest of drawers, and a single article of clothing crumpled, sitting at the very top — a pair of sleep shorts, thin and worn and trimmed in lace.

Yours.

“I thought you needed to use the restroom.”

You jump at the sound of Suo’s voice, soft and calm and unnaturally steady.

You press a hand to your mouth to stifle what would’ve been a scream as Suo steps into the room and closes the door with a snap behind him.

“You know… it’s not very good manners to go into someone’s bedroom without their permission.”

You lick your lips, shaking your head.

“Hayato… what —” but you can’t the words — because there are no words. Instead, you gesture at the strange collection of baubles on his shelves before turning back to motion at the giant map tacked to the wall.

Suo nods, his hands laced behind his back, his expression amiable.

“What… is all this?” he asks, taking a few steps towards you. You scramble back, but find yourself already cornered against his writing desk. He makes no sudden movements, even as you look wildly around for any kind of escape route, your heart battering against your ribs, a scream building just beneath your lungs.

“It’s… a testament, I suppose,” he says, opening his arms, sighing, “to my feelings for you —” he takes a few more steps, closing the distance between you and him in a single, shuddering heartbeat.

His eye glitters almost red in the iridescent darkness.

“Because… don’t you see?” he asks, his voice now nothing more than a whisper as he reaches out to cup your cheek. You go still beneath his touch, as a deer caught beneath the bright beam of a hunter’s light.

“It’s always been you…” he says, crooning the words into your ears as he trails his fingers along the line of your jaw down to your throat, his thumb dipping into the hollow there before his fingers dig themselves into the nape of your neck.

You let out a soft whimper, feeling the hard crescents of his finger nails as they sink into your skin.

“I love you,” he says, his voice smooth as silk and sweet as poison, “and I wanted — no… I needed you to love me too.”

be part of my taglist!

[mugiwara-lucy]

Rewatching Yu Yu Hakusho clips on YouTube made me think, since it’s a quartet of four in an ensemble cast and since I just gone done rewatching Desperate Housewives; imagine Yusuke, Kuwabara, Hiei and Kurama meeting the Desperate Housewives! 😆

Especially since they are kinda similar….😅

Kurama is definitely the Bree here, Kuwabara would be like Susan, Hiei is Gaby and Yusuke would DEFINITELY be Edie 😆

[meagancandraw]

Sun and Eclipse's fusion! You can read about his personality here

I imagine that this version of Solis would've either happened later on in the SAMS timeline (Like in @jayde-jots' au), or in an alternate version of the What If episode where Sun and Eclipse agreed to merge instead. Otherwise, I don't see things ending well for anyone, especially Moon rip

[akaviri-dovah]

"undignified in certain circles" ... like the Thalmor, and/or the upper classes of Alinor society? though she was raised in a minor noble house and underwent decades of training as an agent for the Thalmor, my Aevalinwe still has... quite a bit of trouble with keeping her ears under control, much to her chagrin. yes, she has mastered keeping them still during moments of annoyance or disappointment, wherein they would normally pull backwards or droop... but alas, as if being easily flustered was not enough, having such be on display for all of Nirn to see with perked-up ears blushing so intensely as to be just a few shades lighter than her hair? poor Aeva wishes her soul would leave her body during those moments - those are feelings she wants to hide for a reason, darn it! even moreso when a certain someone picks up on it and teases her about it!!

sometimes she wonders why she didn't get the hooded variant of the Thalmor uniform that she sees quite a few of her comrades wearing, which (in my headcanon design) has pockets on each side of the hood to comfortably fit the wearer's ears. while the pockets themselves have some space inside to allow for subtle wiggles and twitches, they are made from the same leather as the rest of the hood and coat and are thus too rigid to move in accordance with the aforementioned drooping/perking-up/pulling-back etc. very useful for maintaining a professional, cold, intimidating air for those who want to have their comrades pay attention to them, and come off as virtually unapproachable to any and all non-Thalmor's.

i like to imagine mer with very expressive ears—though it's probably considered undignified in certain circles. elentari might be a breton (albeit one descended from snow elves) with comparatively little ears, but they wiggle a lot when she's happy, twitch when she's focusing, and go bright pink when she's flustered. don't point it out to her or she'll hurry to strategically rearrange her hair so you can't see them.

my dunmer, meanwhile, have long, curved ears (which turn out to be perfectly suited for flicking ash away). due to the untold amount of time he spent as a thrall, solis has unconsciously trained his not to move as much, but vanna can tell when he's annoyed or otherwise agitated because one or both will start twitching like a grumpy cat's.

"what's gotten into you? and don't you try to deny it; you're almost causing a draught in here—"

[fightingthetoxicallegations]

OPEN STARTER:

I want some sort of balloons, and your tears can be the confetti!

Theo left. He just... left. At this point, it should not be surprising. He leaves all the time. But this felt off. If anyone were to be near Commodus's palace, they might've seen him walk off with a bunch of boxes that looked to be gifts, headed to his usual spot in the nearby forest. Probably to relax. People probably shouldn't bother him. But why did he have boxes with him this time? He usually leaves empty-handed.

Today is... off. It's been feeling off. He knew why- but he didn't want to bother anyone with it. Theo didn't like today, anyway, so why should he tell anyone? It wasn't their problem, plus if he told them... He could imagine their reactions. The unwanted attention he'd draw to himself. He'd hate it. Hate hate HATE it. It wouldn't even be an exaggaration if someone were to say he would want to die.

So, he decided to spend today alone. Today wasn't special. He made sure he made today not special at all. The one thing that was different today were the gift boxes he took with him. He finally finished his projects, so he just... stared at those boxes. Did he really want to give them to people? Were they enough? Was he enough? He's been acting like an asshole so much lately, did people even want to hang out with him at this point?

He sat on the forest floor, the boxes spread out in front of him as he just... stared. That's how you found him, sitting with his knees up to his chest, hands around his legs, staring. He didn't even notice that someone came near.

Taglist (ask to be added or deleted!!!): @the-great-emperor-commodus @another-argo @literally-tinker-bell @roryandthethorns @reyno-solis-real @glitchyk @judas-of-eris @notaeoluschild @the-little-tadpole @the-daughter-of-thanatos @tickle-anon-the-god

[ohnoitstbskyen]

What’s the difference between Ascended, Aspects, Freljordian demigods, Aurelian Sol, and whatever Soraka’s got going on? Are they all just different varieties of League gods?

Hoo boy, okay, so. First of all, Riot have been pretty adamant that there are no gods in Runeterra, every god-like being that exists in that universe is actually a spirit or just a very powerful being of some kind, but definitely no real gods, no matter how much it seems like they are definitely writing these characters to be actual literal gods.

I don't 100% know why they are so insistent on this, but I imagine it has something to do with censorship and ratings agencies, or maybe they just don't want to have to establish any actual theology on Runeterra. Volibear isn't the god of storms for real, he's just a super powerful spirit that can create storms in the Freljord, but not all of them, so please don't ask us whether every single thunderstorm in the Freljord was something he did deliberately. That sort of vibe.

To go through them point by point:

Celestials & Aspects

The Celestials are beings like Aurelion Sol and Bard, which exist as cosmic entities operating on levels of power and motivation beyond human understanding. They came into existence with the universe itself, and tend to busy themselves governing various parts of its operation. They are, again not gods (Riot is very insistent on this), but Aurelion Sol literally made every star in the galaxy, he's functionally the progenitor god of Creation.

Some of them, though, like to interfere in the mortal world of Runetera in various ways, and they tend to use mortal vessels to do it. That's where we get Aspects: Aspects are mortals who are chosen by the Celestials that live on Mount Targon to contain their power and be their avatars in the mortal world.

Leona is the Aspect of a Sun celestial, Diana of the Moon celestial, Pantheon is the Aspect of War (or he was, until Aatrox killed it, but he retains access to many of its powers), and Zoe is the Aspect of Twilight, and so on.

Soraka is another Celestial in mortal form, but she is NOT an Ascended. Rather than possess a mortal, she created a mortal body for herself and poured the whole of her being into it, which is causing her body to permanently burn up from the inside while she regenerates it with her magic. She lives on Runeterra and acts as a mysterious mystical wise guide and mentor to mortals who need it.

Ascended & Darkin

Ascended are somewhat similar in kind to the Aspects, but usually lesser in power. The Ascended are also human beings infused with Celestial magic and power, specifically with the power of the Sun, although as far as I know, that power is drawn not from the Celestial of the Sun who empowers Leona, but directly from the physical Sun itself. This means the Ascended aren't possessed by Celestials and retain full free will, at the cost (or let's be real: benefit) of being transformed into furries, which extremely coincidentally just so happen to closely resemble the gods of the Egyptian pantheon. but again, they are definitely not gods, please don't put it in the newspaper that they are gods.

I don't know exactly how canon Riot considers this anymore, but the lore was that the Aspects of Mount Targon gifted the power of Ascension to Shurima in order to produce Ascended that could serve as shock-troops in the war against the Void, which is a swarm of extradimensional horrors that are constantly trying to eat the world. Whatever the case, the Ascended DID fight the Void, and it traumatized and corrupted them so badly that they degenerated into body-horror blood monsters called the Darkin.

The Darkin fell into civil war and it got so bad that The Aspect of Twilight (not Zoe but her predecessor in the role) decided to use some magical trickery to imprison them all in their weapons, which is where they've stayed for a few thousand years, getting even more traumatized and mentally destabilized by the total sensory deprivation and solitary confinement. If any mortal touches a Darkin weapon, it immediately assimilates them and uses their flesh as a new host, and then goes on a killing rampage about it. That's where you get your Aatrox, your Varus and (eventually, once he devours Kayn) your Rhaast.

Gods, Spirits & Demons

This is the category for Ornn, Anivia, Volibear, The Seal Sister and so on. The Freljordian people worship them as gods, but they are, technically, only extremely powerful nature spirits, manifestations of the nature of the Freljord itself, which draw power from the land and to a lesser extent from their worshipers. There are many, many lesser nature spirits, which might be worshiped as gods by particular tribes or hold power over particular areas, but Ornn, Anivia, Volibear, The Seal Sister and the Iron Boar are the most powerful and most widely revered.

On a similar note, Ionia is absolutely choked to the gills with spirits, because those lands are soaked in magic. They are usually not worshiped as gods specifically, but take the shape of everything from dragons to living trees to sprites and will-o-wisps and which roam fairly freely in Ionia. This includes characters like Lillia, who is the daughter of a magical tree of dreams on whose branches the dreams of mortals grow and mature, and it includes Ivern, who is an extremely powerful and ancient nature spirit formed from the soul of a magical tree.

Demons are distinct from spirits, in that rather than drawing on the power of the land or fountains of magic, they draw on the emotions of living things for their powers. The most powerful demons are known as The Ten, who get their power from the most primal emotions that living things feel. Fiddlesticks is the demon of Fear, and Nilah somehow draws her strength from Ashlesh, the Demon of Joy, whom her order has imprisoned. We don't know who the rest of the Ten are yet, but Riot seems to have that worked out somewhere in their internal deep lore.

Swain has a lesser (but still powerful) demon of secrets called Raum bound in his arm through some sort of deal, Evelynn is a demon of anguish and pain, Tahm Kench is a demon of addiction, and Nocturne is a demon of nightmares.

Besides those, there are an untold number of lesser demons, who feed on more and more specific feelings, and thus are less and less powerful because there's simply less of that stuff around to feed on. They are often called Azakana, and may be demons that feed on feelings as niche as, like, noblemen's fear of their extramarital affairs with handsome commoners being discovered. Yone hunts the Azakana and collects their mask, although even he doesn't know quite what for.

Death

This is where we place the Kindred. Technically they are merely Spirits of Death, but more than perhaps any other category of creature, Riot keeps writing them as Literal Gods of death and I don't think it makes sense to think of them any other way.

The Kindred take on many different shapes all across Runeterra, seemingly influenced in large part by the expectations of the people or creatures who are dying, but their most popular visage is that of a Lamb and a Wolf, hunting together. Lamb's merciful arrow ends your life if you accept that your time is up and go gently into that good night, but Wolf hunts you down and rips you to shreds if you resist and fight to your last breath, destiny be damned.

The Kindred are there for every death on Runeterra, they are the mediators (as far as we know) of all forms of death everywhere, and by far the most classically "anthropomorphic embodiment of universal existence" style god in the lore that we know of. Where a god like Anivia only really has power in the Freljord, the Kindred have power everywhere there is life. Only the undead escape them, and even then, only temporarily.

In Conclusion

YES Runeterra has tons of gods, it obviously has gods, you can't walk five feet in that universe without tripping on a god, but they tend to be gods with hard limitations on their power and influence, and rarely have powers on the level of bending reality itself.

Even Aurelion Sol, who literally makes stars, can't snap his fingers and undo causality, for example, or suspend the laws of physics wholesale.

Riot's weird insistence on "no gods in Runeterra" is more of an affectation, a bit of a put-on, than an actual narrative principle, and most of the gods of Runeterra can be understood very comfortably through the lens of various non-Christian religions like Norse or Greek mythology, or the hero/god characters of something like Polynesian myth.

[violet-moonvine]

Hand in Hand

I stand at the threshold of Soli’s hab.

In front of me is an impossibility. Beautiful trees, cobblestone streets, and smiling faces all revolve on colossal rings around the radiant central axis of the Menara, a whole world in miniature beyond the reach of scarcity and capital.

Behind me is the hab where I’ve spent the two most important weeks of my life, and the kindest, gentlest person I’ve ever known.

It feels like I’ve stood here for hours.

Catching up with my old crewmates should be an easy thing. It hasn’t been long. The pub where we agreed to meet is nearby, and apparently it even serves the weirdass Viburnian pub food most of us remember from before the ships came down and took us from one hell to another. And judging from some of those screen names in the group chat, I might not be the only one there sporting a shiny new gender.

“Are you alright, Natalie?” Soli asks. “Do you need help?”

Natalie.

I’ve heard people complain that affini are too fond of using pet names to address people. It makes them feel funny. Demeaned. Personally, I can’t relate. Nothing makes my heart flutter like hearing “Natalie” in the angelic voice of Soli Actipsis, 2nd Bloom. It makes me melt every time.

“It’s fine, Miss,” I say. “Just nervous.”

A half truth. The prospect of meeting “The Lads” as I am now is a little intimidating, sure, but deep down, I’m terrified that what’s stopped me in my tracks is not who I’m about to meet, but who I’m about to leave behind.

She’s done so much for me. She’s the one who encouraged me to be honest with myself and with her about my gender, after keeping it locked up for so long. She’s the one who calmed me down after waking up with that weird medical implant. The one who medicates me every morning. Who helped me walk again, who helped me eat normal food again, and so on, and so on. If the Affini believed in debt, then mine is one I could never repay.

Which is why it sucks that I’m down bad for her.

I have been ever since I woke up, after the Punisher was boarded, and I still don’t know how it happened. All I know is that I heard her serene voice, I saw her gentle, honey-gold eyes, and Limb-Loosening Eros took me.

It’s not fair to her to feel like this, to want even more from someone who’s given me so much. To want to hear her call me Hers. To know what her flower petal lips taste like. To be surrounded by her, in ways only an affini can.

I see her perfect face on the inside of my eyelids. I hear her voice in the quiet of my mind. I smell the phantom traces of her perfume in every corner of her hab.

I feel like I’m standing on the edge of a volcano, and the part of me that holds me back from jumping gets weaker every day.

And it is a danger, at least of a sort. She’s given me a whole life to live, on my own terms, in a way that I could never have imagined even a month ago. A life free of poverty, free of mandatory work, and free of the pressure to exist for another. And I’m already daydreaming about giving it up. To be a floret is not a punishment, but it’s certainly a forfeiture of everything Soli’s given me.

And if even taking a step outside Soli’s hab is fucking me up this bad, I’m really in danger.

“Natalie, you haven’t frozen have you?”

Her voice finds its way inside my chest and coils around my heart.

“N-no, Miss. I’m not sure why, but…” I try to take a step outside. My foot crosses the threshold, then retreats like a bug scuttling back under a rock.

“It’s okay that you’re nervous, little Natalie. Maybe having some moral support would steel your nerves?”

It takes me a few seconds to piece together her meaning. She wants to come with me.

I turn to look at her. Her two gentle ambers pull my attention.

I almost say yes.

“S-shouldn’t I do this myself? I need to- to get used to being-”

“Nonsense.” She interrupts me. I let her. “Part of being independent is recognizing when you need help, after all. Let me come to the pub with you.”

That seems reasonable.

Soli stands up from her seat to join me. I watch her flowing, goldenrod hair bounce in time with her elegant gait. Her simulated high heel boots click-clack against the floor. Her form is mesmerizing, and the way her “boots” and her Lady Godiva hair contrast with her otherwise seemingly undressed body just makes me feel all the more sinful for it. I tell myself it’s like she’s wearing a catsuit. Unsurprisingly, that doesn’t help.

She walks up to me, towering above me, at probably twice my height. I wonder what it would feel like to curl up in her lap.

“Here, my little Natalie. Take my hand. Let’s go together.”

I nearly swoon. My little Natalie.

And then I register the rest of what she said.

The last time I let her touch me was the night I woke up. I was still exhausted, barely recovered from… everything. And I let her bathe me.

I dreamed about her touch for nights afterward.

She was perfectly respectful and quick about it, a consummate professional. A growing part of me wishes she hadn’t been.

I look up. Soli extends her hand down for me to take.

I shouldn’t.

I think it would end me.

It might actually break me.

My hand rises, in defiance of my will. My fingertips slide against hers. I feel the deceptively soft flesh of her fingertips against the swirling ridges of my own as they slide deeper into her, by inch by ruinous inch. My fresh, red nails disappear over the horizon of my knuckles, eclipsed by hers. The disparity in the size of our hands makes me nearly swoon all over again. It reminds me how small I am. How vulnerable. Soli could do anything she wanted to me, and it’s by the grace of her honorable character that she’s used this power for good. I almost wish she’d use it for evil. It’s not like I could stop her. I probably wouldn’t even try.

My hand tries to close around her fingers, but she continues her advance down my arm. Not content to merely hold my hand, in a chaste, finger-against-finger position, she swallows my whole hand in hers. She wants to take it, every inch.

I feel my heart race.

She engulfs me in her powerful hand, and she holds me tight. It’s warm. I feel the currents of hot sap coursing beneath the soft surface of her palm. I feel my own heartbeat in the rhythmic expansions of my fingertips against her. She must feel it too. Does she know?

I scrabble around the inside of her hand, desperate to somehow make this gesture symmetrical. To prove that I have at least a little agency in this arrangement. I fail, of course. The Affini don’t do symmetrical. She’s taken my hand as presumptuously as she’s shouldered the burden of my recovery, and in neither case is anything expected of me. My sentence is to be cared for, and to give nothing in return.

My hand submits to hers, and simply rests within its belly, palm-to-palm. I rub my fingers against her simulated palmar muscle. I can feel the strength in them.

I look at the verdant cocoon surrounding my hand, squeezing it tight.

I feel it squeezing my heart tight, too.

My eyes squeeze shut.

I’ve clung so hard to my coming independence. I should get to live a life of my choosing, on my own terms. The opportunity is right there for the taking. For the first time in my life, the only thing in my way is me.

And I still want it.

I just want Her more.

Something in me shudders apart.

I let go.

A tear meanders down my cheek. It’s warm and gentle, like her. My breathing slows. The static in my mind clears.

I look back up at Soli. She returns my gaze with nothing but love and patience.

I resolve to ask her the Big Question tonight, after dinner. I hope she says “yes.”

“W-we should get going, Miss,” I say.

“Lead the way. My little natalie~,” she says.