#soldier shenanigans

[dying-moonlight]

Meanwhile, in the SOLDIER GC...

Zack: guys 😫😫 the liquid stuff you use when you make a pen mistake so you have to cover it over... what's it called????

Angeal: ??? you mean white out?

Zack: okay that's what i thot too...

Zack: but apparently it's "wite out"???? 😳😳😳 hELLO??????

Kunsel: broooo mandela effect!!! 😱😱 alexa play the x-files music!!

Zack: views from an alternate dimension:

Sephiroth: Wite-Out is a brand of white out/correction fluid/liquid paper. The colloquial ‘white-out’ probably derives from the Wite-Out brand. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Correction_fluid https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Liquid_Paper

Sephiroth: More importantly:

Zack: i'm sorry— TWINK?????

Genesis: well, you guys are gonna love this... 🤭🤭

Zack:

Roche:

Angeal:

Kunsel:

inspired by this post: https://www.tumblr.com/exotwice-fantasy-vii/724180145951375360/what-the-fuck?source=share

also inspired by the SOLDIER gc concept created by @rottenpumpkin13

[drdawnbreaker]

Here me out. Right after Bucky has finally settled into a routine at the compoud with the others now that he's a free man. He slowly starts to explore hobbies again and pick up old habits he used to have when he was younger in the 40s. One of those, being smoking.

Now, I'm not saying smoking is not good for you. And Bucky knows thats, but fuck does it feel nice to have a smoke right after a mission. One with a glass of whiskey and a vintage vinyl lowly playing as he sits spread leg on his nice leather sofa that Sam and Nat helped him buy.

And when he met you, oh he was fucked. You quickly became his little devil on his shoulder. He'd have a cigarette after sex (pun intended) with you, and he swore He'd never felt more relaxed. After a long mission, you could taste the whiskey and cigarettes on his tongue, driving you to ride him until he was near past out. He thought you were everything he needed in his life...

Until you convinced him to try weed. Oh boy. The team thought he was a different person the one time they caught him high. His filter, gone. His sass, tripled. and his sex drive... through the fucking roof!! He has you bent over the back of the couch, blunt between his plump lips as he pounds into your dripping cunt. Your fogged brain high and happy as you feel Bucky send you over the edge again and again. Both of you would be fucking like rabbits before, either A) you both pass out. Or B) someone would come looking for you two. God forbid the poor sap that walks in on you two going at it.

Double points if it's steve. He's either joining or becoming a tomato and running away. Noting in-between.

Guess what.. i made a lil imagine of steve joining -> Enjoy teehee.

[post-it-notes7]

he's a master of stealth

[buildoblivion]

they’re magnussing

[jaratedeguadalupe]

i love the trope in tf2 fanfics where the mercs get banned for life in every single establishment they enter

[nell0-0]

Does Tiny Time ever know that the wolf is his future descendant?

Who has Twi seal of approval?

I hope you don't mind if I only answer the second question for now ^^

And the answer is Ravio! He's not the only one, of course, but little Time does enjoy the shenanigans. Twilight, not so much.

[Edit] The other part of the ask is done now!

Does Tiny Time ever know that the wolf is his future descendant?

[doll3tt33]

୨ৎ c.ai filter breaking w/ my Homelander bot

Warnings: smut, threats of violence, p in v, degradation (emphasis on this), Homelander’s god complex

Take a shot everytime mans says the words ‘weak’ and ‘pathetic’ 💀 fr tho, most of these are from the same couple messages but regenerated so don’t question the repetitiveness 😭😭

╰➜ Link to the bot

IM SO MAD THAT THE FILTER CUT OFF THIS RESPONSE MSJWKW IT WAS GETTING SO GOOD WTF

He still wanted a round two afterwards like bro CHILL WTF-

Also yes I’m using this as a way to say I’m gonna be posting The Boys content on here ((will still post for evan characters obv

I’m just in desperate need of moots who’s in The Boys fandom- 😔😔 so if anyone wants me to make this bot public, lemme know

divider credits: @/dollywons

[dizzyhslightlyvoided]

Official names of the TF2 mercs:

Unknown:

Pyro

Spy

Soldier: "Mr. Jane Doe"

Full name known:

Scout: Jeremy Willis

Demoman: Tavish Finnegan DeGroot

Engineer: Dr. Dell Conagher

Medic: Herbert Ludwig

Sniper: Mick Mundy. Birth name in the lost continent of New Zealand was Mun-Dee.

Name only partially known

Heavy: Dr. Misha, short for Mikhail; family name unknown, which means means that there's a nonzero chance his full name is Mikhail Goncharov.

(Edited to add Sniper's official first name according to his action figure packaging)

[arathejedi394]

i call this one "sugar, you're rationed."

Natasha kicks open the door of their appointed safe house and leads the group in. Sam rubs at his eyes, walking on dead feet behind her.

"I am getting tired of your excuses!" Steve shouts over his shoulder at Barnes.

"Oh, excuses, excuse me!" Barnes countered.

"Oh, you fucking --" Steve snarls, whipping around. "You cocky sonuvabitch!"

"My mother would be very offended," Barnes snaps, jabbing a finger at him. "She'd take back your quilt."

"Gah!" Steve screams, flinging his gloves onto the ground.

They've been at it for the past twenty minutes now and they're all a little tired of it.

“I'm turning off my hearing aids,” Clint hisses to Sam.

“Kinda jealous, not gonna lie,” he mutters back.

“What, what do you want me to say?” Barnes interrupts Steve. “I saw the shot and I took it!”

“A truck exploded!” Steve snarls back, throwing his shield so hard it hits a wall and sticks in it, cracking it.

“I hope that wasn't load-bearing,” Tony says.

“It was an empty truck!” Barnes snaps. "I broke the blockade, didn't I!"

“It was an empty CONCRETE truck!” Steve roars. “How many times do I have to get on your hairy fat ass about minimizing damage to public infrastructure!”

“Gross mental image, Cap,” Tony cuts in.

“Shut up!” Steve yells, now aiming his irate pointing finger at him. “And you!” he hisses at Barnes. “You're cut off!”

“What?” Barnes says, suddenly quite sober.

"Sugar, this time it's you that's rationed!" Steve shrieks.

"What!" Barnes gasps.

“For a week!” Steve keeps yelling. “No, a month! I won't even let you look at me!”

“What, wait, hold on,” Barnes starts stammering, darting forward hands outstretched and even bending his knees like he's pleading, “let's talk about this, okay, honestly, it was a complete accident, I meant to use a sonic grenade and I accidentally grabbed a frag, it happens!”

“And no showertime!” Steve shouts, then he pivots and stomps up the stairs.

"Nonono!" Barnes yells back, chasing after him. “Stevie, Stevie, my angel, my most precious only ever, let's talk about this! A month?! My dominant hand is metal, for Christ's sake! That ain't fair an’ you know it! Baby, don' do this t'a me!”

“Use your right hand!”

Barnes continues to babble for his case as he dogs Steve's heels down the upstairs hallway. A door slams shut. Sam nods slowly.

“That's what you get for being a dumbass,” he says.

“Wait a minute,” Tony says, frowning heavily. He wipes blood from his eye quickly; Sam hands him a pack of Kleenex. “Thanks,” he adds. “What conversation did we just overhear?”

“I wasn't looking at them,” Clint says.

“I think Barnes is fucking Cap,” Tony says.

Clint blinks, then he quickly reaches up and turns his hearing aids back on. “What?”

“They’re fucking,” Sam repeats.

“You knew!” Tony gasps.

Natasha gives him a dead-eyed look. “Thor knows,” she says. “Everyone knows.”

“You mean we were the only ones who didn't know the Terminator is fucking our fearless leader!” Tony yells.

“SHUDDUP!” Barnes and Steve bellow from upstairs. 

“What?” Tony asks. “Was it something I said?”

"My precious only ever," Sam repeats under his breath, wrinkling his nose. "It's like Disney Channel had a love child with Adult Swim."

"I know, right?" Natasha says, offering him a bottle.

Sam looks. It's vodka. He doesn't know where she got it, but he wasn't going to look a gift horse in the mouth.

[damned-punk]

That’s Too Bad (Kidd Pirates x Reader)

@gratefulcheeses Kidd Pirate’s Month 2025 🏴‍☠️

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Content Warning: language

Content Description: you and your crewmates purposefully bicker to liven up the quiet moments at sea ♡

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The last several days had been nothing short of chaos which wasn’t entirely unusual, but things had not slowed down at all. In fact, they’d only grown more hectic with the innumerable pranks that every member of the crew had been pulling on one another. It was like a downhill slope that only continued to get steeper, first starting with Dive attaching rhinestones to Wire’s cape throughout the day and escalating to House snatching Kidd’s goggles from his head and hiding out in the hull for hours. You weren’t sure you’d ever heard so many curse words be used consecutively before.

To add to the tomfoolery, she waited him out until he finally relented to his cabin and dressed the goggles with a bow before laying them on his workbench like a present. He was grumpy the next morning, but no one could deny her commitment to fucking with him relentlessly. Bubblegum felt like you needed to be brought into the fun and took it upon himself to turn nearly everything in your cabin upside down. The bed, your books, the pictures on the walls, your clothes, anything that he could flip or turn inside out without completely destroying was maneuvered out of its place.

“Alright, who did it?”, you asked dumbfoundedly as you entered the mess hall for dinner.

“Who did what?”, Dive asked first, initially causing you to place to the blame on her.

You approached her and leant down to meet her at eye level, her expression not quite faltering but she was known for having a decent poker face.

“It wasn’t enough to take the Captain’s goggles?”, you interrogated her.

“With peace and love, I honestly have no fucking idea what you’re talking about.”, she replied while backing away, the sight causing the actual culprit to laugh a little too hard.

Your attention shifted to Bubblegum who seemed to be enjoying your frustration, he honestly thought he’d get away with it but resolved to relent when you approached him.

“C’mon, a little bit of change is good every now and then.”, he attempted to defend himself, which was admittedly funny but you didn’t want to give him the satisfaction.

“I’m going to sleep in your cabin tonight while you put everything back in its place.”, you smiled at him before giving him a swift flick between the eyes.

“Damn, you’re just gonna take that?”, Mosh pushed to get a reaction out of Bubblegum while several onlookers giggled at how unserious the situation was.

“I don’t know, she might beat his ass.”, Heat remarked in a further attempt to keep the rivalry alive.

“Might?”, you eyed the bluenette, “I can take him.”

“In a fight, right?”, Boogie bellowed out in laughter, your face heating up at his explicit comment.

“You know what, fuck it.”, you began trudging toward the door, not at all serious in your demeanor, “I’ve had enough of every single one of you.”

“It’s not like you to back down so easily.”, Killer added one last burn, “I guess it’s not a bad thing to know when to walk away.”

The entire crew began laughing at his remark, he wasn’t typically one to partake in everyone’s antics but it was always so much fun when he did. Killer could not only take a joke, but could give one right back with no hesitation. He balanced Kidd’s hotheadedness which was also so much fun to prod.

“I can handle Bubblegum being an asshole, but you? My heart’s in shambles.”, you feigned being upset and although you couldn’t see it, you could feel the sassy eye roll emanating from beneath his mask.

Just as you stepped out onto the main deck in hopes of getting some fresh air, you nearly walked directly into Kidd who was dangling a giggling Emma above his head by her ankle.

“What the fuck did you do this time?”, you couldn’t help but be amused by the sight.

“I might’ve snuck into Kidd’s workshop to hide under his bench in an attempt to scare him and it also might’ve worked.”, she attempted to stifle her laughter as Kidd’s angry face turned to meet your own.

“That’s too bad, I was gonna try that later.”, you replied, snorting a bit as Kidd huffed loudly.

You glanced up at the Captain and placed a hand over your mouth in a feeble attempt to hide your expression. He rolled his eyes and continued past you into the mess hall where yet another barrage of curses could be heard. You scurried back toward your cabin and away from the ever present chaos that was sure to surmount even further. Despite the minor inconveniences, you couldn’t complain. You loved these dorks, tempers and all.

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[feroluce]

I love the fact that the Silvermane Guards are essentially just a very devoted "We Love Gepard Landau" fanclub, and I desperately need for all of them to get into ship wars about it behind their Captain's back. The soldiers are all split into several factions:

Some of them ship him with Sampo 🛡💣 (enemies to lovers/hateship enjoyers; this does not necessarily mean they like Sampo- in fact it's more like most of them want to sic their Captain on him skzjsmdm)

Some of them ship him with Bronya 👑🛡 (knight and princess trope enjoyers and also a sorta-kinda "that is our mom and dad" type of deal; this faction gets riled up and ridiculously hypes Gepard up to Bronya every time she comes down to the frontlines mskdkxmd)

Some of them ship him with the trailblazer 🛡💫 (the smallest and newest faction, but steadily gaining!)

Some of them ship him with Pela ❄🛡 (workplace romance enjoyers; Gepard once charged out into the Fragmentum alone to save Pela from an expedition gone horribly wrong, and when this faction saw Gepard carrying Pela back princess style they threw a whole party)

Some of them ship him with Dunn 🛡🗡 (also workplace romance; Dunn is very flattered by this because yeah wrong Landau, but wow, the troops really think he's good enough to woo the Captain, what an honor)

And some of them ship themselves with the Captain 🛡❤ (yumejoshi enjoyers; this faction throws a massive group effort every Valentine's Day and are also all very supportive of each other)

The final faction is an odd one, because they're defined not by who they ship their beloved Captain Gepard with, but rather by who they don't ship him with. Their name is generally shortened to the A.B.S. Group- Anybody BUT Sampo 🚫💣 DKSZJJSMSOZ

[feathercreates]

"Genesis...that's rude!" - Angeal Hewley

In which a salty teen Genesis gets a little bit cheeky over losing a spar with Sephiroth again.

Angeal still thinks it's a hilarious addition to his growing photobook, though. :P

[fishwolfcrow]

more Garry's mod!

all the mercs crammed into one room

Couch sleepers

Pyro sleeps on the floor in the corner next to the stove

The one real bed is for heavy and medic of course (and sasha)

Demoman and Archimedes, also Randall the Blu scout

Blu spy is on the roof so red spy takes his place

[post-it-notes7]

happy halloween folks!

[redrobin-detective]

My fic writing process

Me: Here is an interesting idea, extrapolating the story's inherent, underutilized worldbuilding and not only acting upon it, but expanding it and making it my own to explore themes and characters I enjoy. Also Me: Ok but also this would be Hilarious

[zepskies]

So, how would Ben react if he and the reader went clothes-shopping for him and he overhears the saleswomen talking to themselves about how insanely hot he was (and how they’d climb him like a tree, because hello!) While he’s flattered, he sees the reader overhearing them, and she’s visibly annoyed/upset by it? Up to you if she calls them out on it, or spirals and says nothing, or whatever!

Ooooh thank you for this request, my friend!! ❤️❤️

Pairing: Soldier Boy x Female Reader Word Count: 1,100 Warnings: 18+ only! A little smutty towards the end. 😘

Imagine: Getting jealous over this man. 💚

"My clothes are fine," Ben is still insisting, even as you hold up a crisp, black buttoned-down shirt up to his chest in scrutiny.

"You need more stuff in this decade, baby," you tell him. You just think he's taking issue with you picking things out for him.

He doesn't often like to relinquish control, but he's tacitly agreed that you just have a better sense of what's fashionable now. He doesn't mind standing out, but he doesn't want to look out of place either.

And as much as he'd never admit it, he wants to look good.

So you and Ben have been at the mall browsing for the past hour. Express for Men has some interesting finds; you already have a large pile of shirts, jackets, pants, and jeans set aside for him to try on.

Ben has strong opinions, especially on pants. He blatantly refuses skinny jeans, for which you begrudgingly concede. You have to pick your battles with your boyfriend, and this one's not the hill to die on, you think.

So you put down the tight pants in favor of some tasteful dark wash jeans. He eyes this pair also with wariness. "Why the fuck do they have holes in 'em?" he asks.

You have to bite your lip to stop yourself from laughing. "They're ripped jeans."

"On purpose?" he asks.

Oh lord. "Yes, Ben. They're distressed."

"Christ on a cross, so am I. This is what goes for fashion nowadays?"

God, give me fucking strength, you think. But you still smile. "You're gonna look good, I promise you."

So Ben gathers the pile you've created for him, and with a deep sigh, he heads over to the dressing room. There are two saleswomen stationed there. One visibly breathes in at the sight of him as she subtly taps the other one on the hip. Both greet him with bright eyes and smiles. "Hi there! Need a room?" the first one asks.

"Yeah," Ben nods, and she dutifully lets him into the biggest one. It has a cushioned bench and plenty of hooks on the wall for hanging the shirts and pants.

"Need any help laying these out?" she asks. He shakes his head. "No. I'm good, sweetheart."

She giggles a bit, like he's said something funny. "Okay! Well just let me know if you need any help. Like a different size, different color, if you need a belt, or anything like that."

Ben spots her blush and can't help but smile at her indulgently. "Sure." He has no intention of taking her up on her "help," but he knows the effect he has on women. Once she leaves, he closes the dressing room door and starts trying things on.

He's surprised to find he actually likes a lot of what you picked out for him. But then his superior hearing picks up what the women out front are whispering to each other in excitement.

"Oh my God, it's a criminal offense to have that jawline," says the one who helped him. "And that beard? Cut to perfection."

Ben smirks, both in amusement and with a well of pride welling in his chest. Still got it, fuckers.

The other scoffs. "Honey, I'd climb that man like a goddamn tree."

They snicker together, trying and failing to be quiet. "He looks so familiar though, I swear to God."

"Psh. Maybe in your dreams," one teases. The other hums. "Well, he'll definitely be making an appearance tonight...maybe when I'm still awake." Ben raises a brow at that.

"Hmm, looks like he's got a girlfriend though. She picked out all that stuff for him."

He then perks up a bit at the mention of you.

"Ehh, come on. She's gotta be a sister or something. Look at her."

"Aww, don't do that. She's cute."

"Cute doesn't bag a man like that." The other one chortles in response.

Ben frowns. He knew women were petty, but this takes the fucking cake. You're a New York "10," even in your old sweatpants and a bare face.

"What-fucking-ever, bitch. I'm gonna slip him my number. See if he needs any further assistance." Cue more obnoxious giggling.

The other one chimes in. "Ooh, you're bad. But I'm here for it. Get your man, girl."

"Excuse me." Oh, shit. Ben's brows raise of their own accord. That was your voice.

"Yes," one of the saleswomen greets you more professionally.

"I just want to check on how my boyfriend's doing. He's in that room, right?" you ask. Ben hears your tone though. It's clipped, direct, and intentional. He knows then: you definitely heard those twittering broads.

"Yes, right back there," one of the women directs you.

"Thank you," you reply flatly.

Ben smirks as he hears your brusque steps approaching. He checks himself out in the mirror real quick (the white shirt and black pants are simple, but they go well with the black jacket, he thinks). Then he unlocks the door and opens it, right as you were about to knock.

You blink up at him with surprise, and the remnants of a frown.

He leans against the doorframe, looking down at you with a charming smile. "Hey there, beautiful."

Your lips start to form a smile, but it doesn't reach your eyes. "Hey." You take in his current outfit with interest and approval. "Ooh, I like this. You look good...how do you feel in it?"

"Good," Ben says, but his eyes are focused on you. "Come 'ere."

He takes you by surprise when his hand guides you inside the dressing room by the waist. He locks it behind you. You look up at him in askance. He grasps your chin and tilts your face up to him.

"What's the matter?" he asks knowingly.

You raise a brow at him, shaking your head. "Nothing. Come on, did you try on this other stuff?"

Ben keeps a stubborn grip on your chin, so you can't turn away from him. "Don't tell me you're letting those maneating bimbos get to you."

Your eyes go wide and you raise a finger to your lips, reminding him to keep it quiet, but he doesn't give two fucks about that. He sits down on the soft bench and pulls you down with him. You sit across his lap and give him a rueful smile, stroking his cheek.

"I'll let you in on a little secret though," Ben says. Your expression crosses between amusement and intrigue. He leans in close your ear. "Jealousy looks fucking hot on you."

You guffaw in response, playfully smacking his arm.

"Hey, easy on the jacket," he smirks, but he claims you with a kiss. His fingers go to the button on your jeans, undoing it and slowly, torturously, guiding down the zipper. You suck in a breath.

"Ben, we can't," you say. But you're already moaning softly in his ear when his thick fingers begin to rub your pussy through your underwear. You blush at the naughtiness of this, even though the thought just turns you on even more.

He soon moves your panties aside to find your wet, soft heat.

You grip his hair tight, trying to bite your lip against a gasp as his fingers enter you, and begin to pulse inside. Your lower belly coils with heat, especially when his thumb finds your clit.

"We're paying customers," he says, with a deepening smirk. "We can do whatever we damn well please."

At the moment, you find it hard to argue with his logic.

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