#solas is traumatised

[thepsychonyx]

The Dagger is a representation of Solas Duty and Trauma

DRAGON AGE THE VEILGUARD SPOILERS AHEAD

I believe the dagger being left behind in Redemption endings symbolise Solas finally being freed of his duty & trauma whilst non-redemption endings force that pain to go with him. The dagger reminds him all he lost & sacrificed vs in Redemption he is free and regains his autonomy.

Before anyone yells at me that this is a reach, I get it- but walk with me. The dagger was commissioned by Mythal, he was against its creation and against its purpose to sunder the Titans, it was also used to kill Mythal and is essentially a symbol of all of Solas' original sins

Though some of us agree that none of these things sit solely on his head, they do sit on his conscience.

The grief of having a part of your autonomy irreversibly altered as they did with the Titans is a reflection of how he was forever condemned to himself. His one salve? Duty.

I've never thought Mythal's words in the Redemption endings were an indication of him prizing her affection above the chance Rook gave or Lavellan's pleading, she mutilated his spirit and perverted his purpose. For which, her taking accountability unbinds him of the emotional and mental toll. This is only one aspect of why the dagger is key to redemption. The important thing is he needed to be freed of his duty, he feels he has gone too far and taken too much. He knows the price has been too high and that is why he wants to be stopped, one way or another. Hence leaving hints for Inquisitor and Varric, as well as stating to Rook he fears becoming like Elgar'nan, too powerful with no one to check him. He never wanted to be this, and he is ready to die. Solas is exhausted of what this duty has taken from him as it has costed him everything.

Crucially, freeing him from his duty finally allows him to let go of the purpose he made himself physical for. He was brought into the world to give her wisdom, wisdom she denied and without her to unbind, his reason for being physical is left to trying to heal the wounds he made.

In DAI, if you drink from the Well, thus putting you into Mythals service, Solas is incredibly angry for valid reason. He just watched you make the same error he did!

He bears these words so heavily because this is also the burden he bears - he is stuck in the cycle of what this duty demands of him.

Solas asks you what will you do after Corypheus and he only *Approves* if you say "I'll restore what was" - he associates bettering the world with undoing the condition his actions have forced it into.

"You honor the past and work to recover what was lost, even if the cost is high." It is not all about Mythal, it is about fixing his biggest mistakes and restoring the world to what he, someone duty bound to the people for causing the problems, took away from *everyone.*

He knows the cost is high, that's why he wants to be stopped. That's why he leaves hints for Inquisitor. It's why he says to a friend, "I would treasure the chance to be wrong again" - he just cannot see another way because he is bound by his purpose for why he entered the world.

This is why the Trick ending also works because it forced Solas to see another way to atone, but the dagger - the grief and trauma - goes with him. The bad ending is him completely forced (stabbed) into becoming a manifestation of pride. His duty completely corrupting his values.

Whilst the Redemption ending is the most fulfilling as it finally let's him allow himself to let go. He is forgiven, for the first time ever by his friend or true love, he is absolved of the burdens and duty that haunted him, he is given the wisdom he has always been denied.

Someone who only wanted to free others finally being freed themselves, who endeavoured to unshackle the chains of others finally being unbound of his own, isn't that a beautiful ending? He is just a man, a faulted haunted man who did his best and I think that is worth something.

The beautiful thing, is with the Solavellan ending, Inquisitor Lavellan gives him more than just atonement to live for. Bereft of his original purpose of bestowing wisdom as he has confined himself to atone, she posits a new purpose. Their love, eternally, will be their new fate. He will never be alone again, and together work towards his new purpose. For a man who was enslaved by a friend (he wore Mythal's valaslin!) who used him and ignored him, to be given salvation from the love of his life who listened to him and wants to be beside him through everything - I cannot imagine a better conclusion and retirement from his Duty and the first crucial step into healing from his Trauma.

(Ignore me in the corner teary eyed lol)

This post by Trick states that the endings with the dagger mean it’ll be harder for him mentally to become free - it may be a simple association that no dagger = redemption, but this is DA it has to mean more. At least, it does to me.

[talktorook]

Lucanis with Rook after Tearstone Island (or any day of the week really):

[baphometsss]

I don't wanna sit here and act like I'm a professional or anything, because I'm not, but as someone who has had to do a lot of work to overcome trauma and reconfigure my brain more or less from the ground up, there's a lot I have to say about Solas's mental state

We know that Solas was essentially used and abused by Mythal for millennia. Even if he wasn't under a geas, he was twisted from his purpose by being made to fight, and then created the Wolf's Fang which was used to make the Titans tranquil and started the Blights. He made those choices himself, but it's important to understand that no choice is ever made in a vacuum. She took advantage of his vulnerability when he was given a body after however long as a spirit semi-existing peacefully in the Fade, and moulded him into a weapon.

He is broken, because Mythal broke him. I'm not incapable of seeing why she did what she did because like I said, no one makes choices in a vacuum and I could write about her for a long time too (in a similar way to how I have had to do myself in my own life in understanding why others abused me). He was so traumatised by everything that happened and he was trauma bonded to Mythal pretty much from the minute he gained a body. Trauma bonds are not about love. He definitely interpreted it that way, as most people do, but that's the weapon abusers use to keep the victim under their control. Abuse abuse abuse show a scrap of love and then abuse some more. If I just take it, I'll get the love/attention I need. I will earn it, because love is suffering, and I have to suffer to earn getting my basic needs met from my family/friends. Mythal, as his creator, was the one who he would've attached to in a similar way to spirit Cole/human Cole.

Trauma bonds are pathological. Mythal made him believe that if he did as she asked, and kept supporting her, then eventually he would gain her favour and they would be able to free all the elves, and he'd be able to live according to his true nature, which is one where he doesn't have to fight. (Remember his personal quest in DAI? He actually kills the rebel mages for corrupting his friend--another Wisdom spirit--into Pride.) In reality, she was just using him. She always kept the bone just out of reach for her lapdog. The line from Rook where they say (paraphrasing here) 'you know, I was actually excited about getting your approval... That's how you do it, isn't it? Keep giving little scraps of approval to keep someone loyal, and then you turn around and betray them' is so telling too.

Where--or from whom--do you think he learned to do this?

It literally reeks of a pathological trauma bond and honestly, with how isolated, 'grim and fatalistic' Solas is, it is not a surprise that he's so broken.

Solas, essentially, is little more than a lap-dog to Mythal. He followed her like a lost puppy, because especially in his early days, that's kind of what he was. You have to remember that most of the insight we get about Mythal is from Solas's perspective, and he is not a reliable person when it comes to her after so long being repeatedly terrorised and twisted and manipulated. There are several instances where he describes being betrayed by her, and mentions some of the things she did, but he never quite holds her fully accountable and ends up directing his rage elsewhere. (The parallel between Mythal/Solas and the rebel mages/Wisdom is important here.)

This awesome post by @mythalism only reinforces this. He is so messed up in that scene, he is broken, he is holding the Wolf's Fang up, trying to give it to her because it symbolises the burden he has carried for thousands of years trying to avenge her death. He never wanted the Fang, like he never wanted a body. Mythal just stands over him, fully aware of what she did to him, and only getting him to stop because Rook petitioned her successfully, and the reunion with the more benevolent Mythal within Morrigan tempered her anger. She was a goddess, with the unequal power dynamic, right to the end.

As a side note, on the potential romance element between Mythal and Solas, I read an excellent breakdown of it on Reddit a while ago about how out of character it would've been for Solas to keep something like that from a romanced Lavellan, especially in Trespasser when he comes clean about his plan/past. I can't find it now because it was pre-Veilguard release, but it made a lot of sense to me. Solas and Lavellan never have a love scene in DAI because Solas didn't want to 'lay with them under false pretences'. Lying about who you are when sleeping with someone is nonconsensual. You can't consent to sleeping with someone if you don't know their true identity, and someone who knowingly lies about who they are to get into your pants is a sexual predator. For someone who led a slave rebellion (no doubt many of them being sex slaves), and a former spirit of Wisdom, Solas would've been well aware of this. In the unsent letter from Solas to Lavellan he says he came so close to breaking and desperately wanted to stay with them as Solas, with the implication being that that is where he planned to sleep with them once he'd come clean. But because he stops, because he's still unable to forgive himself or release himself from his trauma bond with Mythal, he breaks away, and they never have sex.

Bottom line: Solas would've been honest about it. Especially that. As the Inquisitor says, he can't lie about his heart.

And it's why the Solas/Lavellan romance is so powerful because quote, 'you change everything'. Solas thought he knew what love was, that love was loyalty, devotion, worship, etc. It's not just his plans or worldview that Lavellan changes. Lavellan sees him for who he is, without the mantle of Dread Wolf, and because of that he's able to express his true nature to her, even if he's not being totally honest in Inquisition. Lavellan got much closer to the real him than most, as he says, and changed his understanding of love completely. Unfortunately, he has unfinished business, an unresolved trauma bond, and his crushing sense of duty to the past is what keeps him from taking that final step towards letting go of it entirely. Trick also says Solas doesn't think he deserves love, which tbh is kind of a hallmark trait of people who have survived abuse.

And honestly? Call me a simp but I think he really was trying to get the Inquisitor to stop him. He saw himself being unable to let go because he was so broken and burdened by his guilt, and knew he couldn't save himself--was too proud to admit that he couldn't, because how pathetic does it make him look? And how could he stop now without rendering all the damage he'd wrought pointless? Yet here was someone who had changed him right down to his core, who understood him in a way few people ever had, whom he trusted, whom he loved in a way he hadn't loved anyone else before. It took him 'centuries' to build up rapport with the members of his rebellion. The man does not know how to form attachments without trauma, and suddenly he forms a strong one with someone who loves him completely and without condition. It's a jarring change.

Lavellan says that maybe they're being prideful themselves, refusing to see their own folly. But I think in admitting that they might be wrong, that it might be wishful thinking borne from misguided love to a truly terrible person, they've rendered the point moot. It shows self-awareness, which isn't folly.

If anyone can make Solas understand true love, it's Lavellan. Lavellan loved him when he was being his true self. Lavellan loved him after his betrayal was revealed. Lavellan loved him when his guilty conscience and terrible actions almost destroyed the world. Lavellan loved him because they knew the real him, and knew that his heart and spirit were broken, and knew that their love would endure, that their love would heal him.

And that's exactly where they end up. Healing the past, soothing the Blight, and loving one another completely.

[vigilskeep]

how would you describe the relationship between sol and viago (at length?) a lot of people in the fandom often characterize viago as very paternal and I wanted yr thoughts

oh mannn

if u have to characterise it in terms of family, i would describe them more as siblings with a large age gap. i usually put them at like an 8-10 year age gap and they met when viago was still a teenager. sol would laugh in ur face if u called viago their dad. they definitely have some sibling behaviours and i do talk abt them in those terms. they are close enough in age to have the trauma bond of growing up in the same bad place rather than sol growing up there while viago was a grown-up agent of that place, if that makes sense, which is quite a key difference to some dynamics i see

but it’s more complicated than just being found family or whatever. sol views the relationship in quite transactional terms because they were a very traumatised kid who would not have been able to rely on anything less solid under their feet. from the start they presented themself as someone little but resourceful who could help him and also be an investment for later. sol worked really really hard all their childhood to be strong enough to “pay him back” for the little he was able to protect them as a kid, and to prove to him that they could be of further use, because they were convinced that one day he would be talon and if they were his then they would finally be safe. ironically it’s viago—who is less openly affectionate—who has always been more aware that he is in this because he cares about them. because, you know, sol was not actually that much help when they first met, because they were busy being, like, seven. it was only later when they kept trying so hard and beating impossible odds that he established sol in his head as always thinking of something and always winning in the end. back then they were just the only little source of warmth in the world

sol can joke around with and get physically close to viago in a way almost nobody else ever is allowed, just bc they always took those liberties and he never stopped them. he thinks they’re rash and impulsive because he has always let them get away with too much, but he also trusts them with his life when danger comes: they often take a bodyguard role, and also if, say, something went wrong with his poisons and he needed help, sol would be the one he would trust to be around him and take care of him when he was vulnerable. (they used to be the only one. other people like teia now being able to fill this role was another factor in sol becoming unnecessary in the few years before veilguard and it destabilising the relationship.) that’s also kind of why they have no fear of him in the way any other crow would fear their talon. he would not get rid of someone whose loyalty is a proven absolute. even when they don’t believe in him caring, they always confidently count on him just being smarter than that

while the love is there, as i like to say, viago’s still a talon of the crows and sol’s his subordinate. a lot of the affection is not being expressed and sol does not expect it, and sol is all smiles with everyone so even their side doesn’t necessarily come through either. viago has ordered them to do some fucked up things, both crow work—sol helped maintain house loyalty and discipline with everything that entails—and undergoing the extremely dangerous rituals that gave them some of their quasi-magical abilities.

at the start of the game, sol is prepared to get themself killed on this mad quest rather than face either going back to the crows, or leaving and losing viago, unsure whether they dreaded more him hunting them down or simply letting them go. (he’s all they have, and they also have like... a sunk fallacy situation where having sacrificed everything else to their loyalty to viago, they physically cannot give him up now. the solas mythal parallels go crazy. minrathous burns because it was not the city viago was in.) by the end of the game, sol has come to the conclusion that he loves them. but they are also now able to ask questions like: if he really loves them, why’d he never try to get them out? if he really loves them, if he regrets anything they’ve gone through, how can he still be a talon of the crows? how can there still be fledgelings in those grim training houses where they grew up, if he loves them?

it’s complicateddd and it always will be. are they the closest thing each other has to family? yes. was the best year in sol’s life the one where they were away from him with varric? yes. is being a crow fundamentally soul-destroying to them and are the best endings for them also probably the ones where they never see him again as long as they live? Well Yes But It Makes Me Sad.

[lesbiansforboromir]

Anyway um. The general narrative position of Orzammar in Veilguard makes me want to throw up blood <3

And like the argument can of course be made that it is being percieved through a very biased lense, Kal-Sharok has held this grudge for nearly a thousand years now and therefore obviously are going to percieve themselves as the more morally pure culture in comparison. And Lace is a surface dwarf who really knows nothing about Orzammar except for the discrimination she has encountered when interacting with it. Okay, sure, Dragon Age has always somewhat awkwardly attempted to be an entirely unreliable-lore tale, nothing can be taken without a grain of salt etc etc.

So I suppose my main grief and agony is more with the DECISION to make these people the only ones who get to say anything about Orzammar in this, the final reveal of the true crushing extent of the Dwarven tragedy!!!! I have spent literal decades within the understanding that Orzammar is living on borrowed time, like pretty much every codex entry written by a dwarf about themselves mentions the 'long struggle' that will eventually be lost, the darkspawn will someday claim Orzammar too and with nothing of the Deep Roads left to conquer they will finally surge to the surface and begin the endless blight. Orzammar was made the unwilling blockade for the surface against the darkspawn.

And now we find out?? That the thing that was going to be the death of them, that has been eating away at the dwarven people for millenia, the cause of a thousand thousand horrors and griefs and terrible choices and screams in the lonely dark- That was the very thing they were begging to protect them!!! Stone protect me, Stone keep me, Stone's blessings to you, she encircles us and we must protect her here where darkness meet's light- but they were not protecting her!! And she wants them all to be consumed by the tide of her righteous retribution, for forgetting her, for using her, for building their civilisation upon the wreckage of her and leaving her trapped and alone in a purgatory between life and death, between existence and absence, cut off from they who made her whole and yet they thrive and she is left behind.

But they didn't know! They don't remember! All the dwarves have been doing for generation upon generation is unconsciously trying to clumsily recreate that lost soulful feeling of being part of a cohesive whole, Solas literally calls them 'the severed arm of a once mighty hero, lying in a pool of blood' (biting him biting him biting him b-) but the point is they were also traumatised by the loss and have spent ages and ages just trying to figure out how to exist without like... THEIR CONTEXT!! Their dreams!! Like Dwarves ARE STILL part of the Titans, evidenced by the fact that when the Titans lost their dreams so did all the dwarves, even those born post the calamity, they just are disjointed, disassociated!!!

... But Orzammar is just a stupid, hidebound, oppressive, politically-putrified, 'immoral' city of people whose perspective on all this is ergo completely superfluous, uninteresting and unimportant. And Kal-Sharok (who are just sooo morally pure they're making all the GOOD choices and don't have any prejudice in them at all and their own tragedies only drove them towards good things so I guess it was good Orzammar cut them off after all???) Well they apparently already know most of it anyway and they're ready to move on and grow and learn and it's all just so neat and clean and no dwarf who venerates and loves the Stone has any catastrophic or ugly feelings about this whatsoever! Orzammar APPARENTLY doesn't even care so yaaay how cool wow that's so cool an entire culture just doesn't care about their religion and it's origin? They just don't care? Haha! They just don't care! They're probably even suppressing it for evil oppressive reasons, completely ignoring the fact that even the Casteless have a relationship to the stone, wow! That's so compelling haha! I hate it when societies have to actually struggle with something or when religion is important to people, booo imagine... imagine......

[felassanis]

So interested in what Felassan would be like post Masked Empire if he survived Solas's attempt/was cured of Tranquility

I'm trying to write Felassan for a fic I'm planning, and while I don't think I have the worst handle on him as a character. I also want to hear what other people think. Because I have a tendecy to jump the gun on reading characters instead of stopping to really think.

But imagine Felassan. He came to realise Thedas was just as real as his old world. And he went to his death willingly to defend that realisation. And to defend the girl he practically raised so she could have her rebellion with the tools she needed. The tools he and Solas needed when they had their rebellion.

A man like that...isn't going to have many plans after living through an attempt on his life he didn't PLAN to survive.

In all scenarios. Solas tried to kill Felassan. Although Felassan knew there would be no room for compromise or arguments. That's still got to sting? (I'm aware the Solas we briefly got in ME isn't the same iteration we got in DA3 but I believe echoes of that initial concept can still ring true with what we have) To have fought beside someone for so long, to trust them as a friend. Only to have them kill you? Regardless if Felassan knew what he was getting into when he reufsed to take the password. That is a betrayal. Even if he knew there would be no exceptions...

Felassan maybe even knew Solas would chalk his death up to just one of many regrets in a long line of them. And that is frustrating.

And for, in the worst case scenario, for Felassan to have been made tranquil? I refuse to believe Solas would INTENTIONALLY make Fel tranquill, so going off the assumption it was accidental. Still, for Solas to not even CHECK Felassan was dead and leave him stranded in such a state for god knows how long. THAT HAS GOT TO STING.

I imagine he'd hide it. But there is a bitterness there. A heaviness to his heart as he realises he really wasn't an exception to Solas's sunk cost fallacy. I think Felassan would still care for Solas despite it all. But I can't imagine walking away from all that with a genuine smile. A shurg of the shoulders. That is traumatising.

And then what? Would he go find Briala? I believe he would think he left her with all the tools and words of wisdom she needed. She doesn't need him. But that doesn't mean Felassan doesn't need her.

Would he take an active participation in stopping Solas? Yes, Solas's plans means the return of his old world, but is it really their old world? How many will die? How many will stay dead because the violent effect of the veil being put up cost so much already? Would he stand up to is old friend? Would he stop him no matter what?

Let me crawl inside this elf's head fr fr.

[evanhereonearth]

Since I’ve gotten a few questions about my original books and where to find them, I figured I should do an introduction/master post, because I’ve a whole heap of things I do.

I’m a polymath, a pain in the ass, a massive pain

If you’ve enjoyed my Solavellan meta and want to support me, I would be honoured. I’ve just been totally cleaned out by a gruelling and traumatic immigration process (that is ongoing), and honestly *any* support is an enormous help in getting back on my feet so my life in my home can…finally begin.

I’m a fantasy author of over 25 novels across several subgenres, but all of my books have a romantic element or are romances. I’m also an award-winning Gaelic singer and songwriter who has represented Scotland internationally twice and been invited to perform for our parliament’s 25th anniversary celebration.

I’ve been at this a long time, and I keep kind of getting knocked backwards onto my arse and am pretty exhausted! Here’s my erm…life’s work below the jump!

Books

If you want to read my current series as I write it, check out my Patreon! I’m back on my Solavellan bullshit with it: if Lavellan met Solas somehow both as Solas and simultaneously as rebellion-era, peak traumatised Dread Wolf…and had to reconcile those experiences on the fly as her people’s oppressors subject her to impossible trials to steal what remains of their Indigenous magic? Aye, that’s Wilder.

You can follow along for £1 a month on Patreon. It’s going to get very spicy.

My most recent published series is a Solavellan-inspired romantasy trilogy (complete!) that I wrote over the last five years of absolute panic that we wouldn’t get a happy ending.

Complete trilogy!!!

Mutual pining

Souls bound across time and space

Big Dragon Age and Solavellan vibes

Banter!

“We shouldn’t” 👀

Low spice (honestly I kinda regret not making it spicier so might make some erm…bonus scenes at some point)

In KU/ebook and available in bespoke deluxe paperback from my own shopfront

Elven gods and mortals romance episodic series where the gods are being punished by a greater power for being assholes and can only find redemption by winning the heart of their mortal soulmates 😌

Queer-norm world!

Book 1: m/f

Book 2: f/f

Book 3: enby/f

Book 4: m/f

In KU and ebook only; they’re just short lil guys

Complete trilogy!

Spell-induced climate change, one land magically draining the resources from another, and those dead set on righting the wrongs (or making it worse 😳)

Giant sapient bats

Giant cats and those who bond with them and ride them

A land cut off from the world by an ancient curse

Ace rep!!!

Profound friendships and trust

Available in ebook, hardcover, and paperback

Complete quartet!

Lots of snark

My earlier work but I’m still proud of it 🥹

Bi lead, f/f endgame

So many butts

Adorable demon hybrid lads who are very wholesome and also always naked

NANA THE BUNNY, best bunny

Available in ebook, hardcover, and paperback (and audio, narrated by the amazing Amber Benson of Buffy the Vampire Slayer fame—she’s truly an absolute legend 😭!)

Look to the Sun and A Hall of Keys and No Doors are both available in ebook, paperback, hardcover, and audio. Also narrated by the amazing Amber Benson!

Two standalone YAs, both lightly paranormal

Non-binary autistic leads in both

Big themes of surviving and recovering from trauma

Sweet romance in each

Demi/grey ace rep in each

Will is obsessed with Solas just like me lmao

Target of banning in plenty of US states 🙃

Sam got nominated for a Nebula award 🥹

Available in ebook, paperback, hardcover, and audio (Sam is narrated by Allegra Verlezza, and Will by Vico Ortiz—yes, that Vico Ortiz!)

Seonag and the Seawolves: free to read at Reactor Mag!

A Gaelic reimagining of a Green Man tale with a sea-based protector and their wolf guardians. Set in South Uist!

Long listed for a Hugo award 🥹

The Quiet: A tale of a woman who bridges worlds to seek out her lost sister in the face of an ancient threat. Has selkies!

Perchance to Dream: An m/m tale of Sleeping Beauty if the legends didn’t get it quite right and neither Aurora nor Phillip wanted anything to do with one another, beginning from the wake-up kiss

The Quiet and Perchance to Dream are both available in ebook and KU!

***

Beyond this, I have a whole series of LitRPG under another name that I’m toying with outing myself about.

Music

I also have a wee EP of demos of my original Gaelic songs and one translation of Once Upon a Dream over on Bandcamp. It’s a pay-what-you-want dealio!

Art

You may have seen my lil Solavellan art going around! You can get it on a T-shirt in my shop, along with other wee bits and bobs I’ve painted.

And, of course, if you want to just read my Solavellan long fic, you can do that here. 💕

[isobellenoire]

Is the Dragon Age fandom still alive, or are you all romancing another traumatised elf in BG3?

I'm still hung up on Solas...

Maybe I'll make this into a series?

[thebestbobaflavour]

no one asked but i will write about it bc of the mythal post. idk why i am afraid to post anything that can be labeled as My Thoughts but its 3am and I have slept poorly for days so I am just going to... do it.

PLS NOTE that this is just my personal take of my fanon. not forcing my beliefs on what you should think abt her or establishing this as canon.

-

Mythal's first and foremost thing is that she wanted to be loved. She herself was a lover, she loved Elgar'nan, her children/"children" and none of them reciprocated her love in the similar way. Either they saw her inferior or superior.

Eventually seeing Andruil growing close to Ghilan'nain she reached her breaking point bc she saw even clearer what she was missing. Not necessarily like she longed for romance, there was really no labels or societal norms for feelings since they're essentially spirits themselves. But she yearned for intimate closeness.

So she turned her attention to her closest spirit-friend with whom she shared mutual respect (possibly ever since they were both spirits) and what she thought could carry over and become love if only that spirit would come to flesh and be with her and see for themselves.

Of course it would not work out. She made Solas for herself, at this point in desperation, as a last resort. (note: Solas kinda even resembles Elgar'nan – he has the chin thing and just overall similar features, at least in my opinion. subconscious or not since she did want Elgar'nan to love her like she loved him. i really think mythal made his body and not Solas himself.)

But she did not know it was a folly. She tried to take everything she knew about love, the companionship she wanted with Elgar'nan, the love for her children, the innocent romance of Ghilan'nain and Andruil, and throw it all into blender and thus Solas came to be. With vallaslin, bc she wanted him to belong to her only. And of course that was one fatal mistake.

And yes. Solas did love her so very much, but it was not right either. None of it was and it was Mythal's tragedy. Solas loved her like a dog loves his master and it was not enough for Mythal who wanted an equal partner then didn't know how to be one. She ended up hating that kind of love and felt terrible for inflicting it all upon Solas who did not even want to have a body. But because he loved her, he did anyway. And now he could not go back.

So yeah, the whole relationship was ofc extremely toxic from start to finish. Is Mythal immoral (on our modern standards that didn't even exist back then) and deeply traumatised and fucked up: yes. She is a slaver. She can be cold and ruthess. But is she evil and malevolent? Not really. At least not when it comes to Solas, bc he is everything to her and she tries to live with the quilt and wrong kind of love. And then Solas betrays her and its worse than anything she has endured before.

Goddess of Love who could not be loved or even define what love meant. I think she is tragic af.

Justice becomes vengeance, love turns not into hate but indifference. I LOVE MYTHAL SM. A character ever.

[adainesjacket]

so intrigued by ur seong/solas vision please say more!!

@vigilskept i feel so bad about it... my poor boy. this isn't my canon worldstate but a sort of alternate timeline i indulge in sometimes when i want to whump him.

so there's a period of seong's inquisition experience where things are Very Bad. 'in hushed whispers' has happened and traumatised him deeply, he's in (seemingly) unrequited love with dorian, and he's finally found his missing twin sister, only to find she's been made tranquil. he's doing good work as the inquisitor but he feels completely unqualified for the position, and he's got the weight of the world on his shoulders. (he cannot emphasise enough to everyone that he is Just A Bard who was in the wrong place at the wrong time).

enter; solas, who has always been pissed off that the anchor was found by someone who is a human, a non-mage, and frankly, a bit of a brat! (especially considering how old we know solas is, and seong being in his early/mid twenties.) solas is keeping himself to himself, working on studying the anchor and also on researching the cure to tranquility that cassandra found. and then he comes up with the idea that if seong starts taking lyrium, his connection to the fade via the anchor will be stronger, and that could help with his efforts to reawaken his sister and close rifts and save the world.

this, of course, is bullshit - solas just wants a way to control him. seong is an upstart who knows nothing about the veil and clashes with him over everything, he's taking this inquisition nonsense forward in a way that the Dread Wolf tm never anticipated, and what's one way to calm him down and make him compliant and dependent on you? get him strung out on lyrium and convince him you can be a trusted mentor. (and then tell him that he shouldn't tell anyone else about your secret lessons and the addictive drug you're convincing him to take, obviously.)

and then (extremely dubious consent warning!) they fuck about it, sort of, because solas doesn't ever really touch or kiss him - he invades his dreams instead and it's all about power and humiliation and extremely manipulative 'aftercare'. and being hooked on lyrium. seong does eventually come clean about this to someone - probably dorian or cassandra - and gets help. (and viola does get cured of her tranquility, but that's a different story.)

seong ends up in a healthy if complicated (bc of long distance) relationship with dorian, becomes the great inquisitor everyone knew he would be, will always be addicted to lyrium but manages the condition as best he can - and is Not A Happy Bunny when solas appears in trespasser.

[sexilydrawn]

Max really hates all qunari JUST because I ron Bull??

All of Max's character ques come from Inquisition's gameplay and then I'll expand on things here and there with canon lore, maybe fill things in etc.

It's more like he's ignorant of all qunari. He's just never met one he liked. He's from a historic family in Ostwick (btw how come they never mention Ostwick) a qunari occupied city so traumatised it built double walls around itself. (Technically they landed near the city and launched an invasion of the entire Free Marches).

In his world state Ostwick has 2 branches of Trevelyans- blacksmiths and soldiers/horse breeders- During Ostwick's invasion it was Max's side of the family that suffered most of the losses. Men, money and most importantly horses. Even though Max is born like 200+ years later his family still harbors a generational hatred of qunari. Hating qunari in Ostwick is like hating on Antivas in Tevinter.

Max particularly is a third son, the vanity child you have to show off. Most often overlooked ending up in the chantry. He had 2 high performing older brothers and as a result Max became a people pleaser which in his family often meant taking part in discriminating against qunari. Becoming Inquisitor corrected this behavior a little, but by then he's simply too old to unlearn hundreds of years of rigid thinking. His sister Evelyn escaped this prejudice because she spent most of her formative years with Max who by then was aware of himself enough not to pass it on to her.

Over time I thought of fixing this note of his character, but to have him be too perfect and too understanding, too inclusive would make him flat and unrealistic. Instead I focused on him fixing his ego. I DID include a stupidity modifier though! Max is an oblivious man in the best way. If there's something, any one thing that he likes about someone he will overlook or even fail to notice general characteristics like race. To this day he canonically doesn't know Maevaris is anything, but a woman, he had to be told about Krem and not even the veil's collapse could turn him against Solas, because he was his friend.

[bookerwrites]

Coming Up!

I've been having some intermittent writer's block but here's some updates on what I'm working on!

Returning - Chapter 2

It's happening! I know I said that last time but rest assured I'm still working on this and it'll be out as soon as I figure where the chapter should end and how badly I want to traumatise Solas.

Lover's Eyes - Chapter 2

Also still in the works but pretty much ready to go! I'll also likely be returning to Chapter 1 to make a few tweaks and set up the dynamic between Varric, Helena and Hawke properly for later chapters!

Bad Timing - Jack Daniels (Agent Whiskey) x Reader Fic

My submission for @penvisions' Give a Little Love writing challenge! I got the trope 'bad timing' and knew immediately what I was gonna write about!

Currently Untitled - Edgar Swansea x Reader x Jonathan Reid Fic

I only recently got into Vampyr, but these two have taken over my whole brain and it's led to thoughts like 'Hey, what if you were Swansea's hot vampire wife and you both realise that you're down bad for Jonathan?'

[videogame-ocs]

Happy Veilguard day for those who are celebrating!

As a result of Dragon Age The Veilguard coming out today I’ve been non stop thinking about my canon Worldstate so I’ve decided to explore where all my characters (and their love interests) from Inquisition and especially my canon inky is pre Veilguard.

I’ll start with my canon inky who WILL be making an appearance in my first play through of Veilguard starting today and I have the most headcanons about her:

(Former) Inquisitior Anya Trevelyan & (former) Commander Cullen Rutherford:

Anya Trevelyan is still pretty traumatised by the events of Trespasser. I mean she’s still clinging to guilt of not being able to persuade Solas to stop in that moment almost ten years ago.

But she’s now living on a farm just outside Redcliffe with Cullen…..and their children.

Anya and Cullen now have three children; Leon, Sophie and Dorian. Leon (Leo) is six, Sophie is four and Dorian is a ten months.

They occasionally see both sides of the family, Anya’s is a bit far to travel so is less frequent but they’re all pretty close.

Anya was adopted immediately into the Rutherford family. I mean she was adopted even before they properly met but afterwards they almost got adoption papers ready and everything. Mia is especially protective of Anya. But the two Rutherford sisters basically see her as a younger sister.

Anya’s mother, Lady Sophia Trevelyan is still convinced she’s the Herald of Andraste but Anya doesn’t mind this one person holding onto that belief. She only minds when she makes a huge fuss about it to her friends or fusses over and smothers her as mothers tend to do. Her middle brother Elias, does also believe that fact. Her father and five other older brothers believe Anya that she’s not the herald but still hold her achievements high when she visits and humours Lady Trevelyan and Elias’ belief.

Anya’s family treat Cullen as a sixth brother. Bann and Lady Trevelyan did accept Cullen’s request the propose and did kind of half suspect they were going to elope so they did make a clause that Cullen could propose if they had a wedding reception afterwards if they chose to elope. Lady Trevelyan is not entirely impressed by the decision though, and Bann Trevelyan is a tad upset he didn’t get to give his daughter away but Anya and Cullen have more than made up for it.

Cullen, of course retired from active duty after the Inquisition disbanded, but he still set up a sanctuary for former Templars who wanted to kick lyrium and for Templars who’s minds were too far gone from lyrium so they have comfort in their final days. So he’s away quite a bit but not all the time, he’s always back by the weekend.

Anya despite disbanding the Inquisition also never stops trying to find a way to stop Solas and make him see sense without violence. She has constant updates from Varric and Harding and former inquisition agents on the matter.

Speaking of Solas, Anya still sees him as a close friend, I mean he saved her life by severing her arm, and several times before then, of course she’s forever going to be grateful to him and view him as a friend. Which you know adds to the guilt she feels.

Anya gets phantom pains in her left arm stub. they’re more manageable than they were years ago when she still had the anchor and her arm. They’re more twinges now. Her friends got her a custom prosthetic arm which she wears most days. But she’s still kind of sad she can’t hold her children with two biological arms.

It took her a while to learn how to fight and adjust to life again after losing her arm, her speciality was two handed swords so she had to adjust to using them again. But she’s very skilled at it again.

She also cut her hair even shorter some time between trespasser & veilguard because it’s easier to manage (as someone who has a disability that means I can’t use my left arm as well and can basically only use my right, I can confirm this is true, I cut my hair short for this exact reason and my blorbo inky did too).

Anya still cares for her horse Chester. She still rides him about the fields and everything but he’s pretty elderly now.

Cullen’s Mabari, Captain, is still alive and absolutely loves the kids and Anya. He’s very protective of the children, and is usually either found following both Leo and Sophie everywhere or by baby Dorian’s side.

Anya does worry about the kids a lot, mainly because she has the whole Solas’ plan hanging over her head, knowing that her children might not live to adulthood, if she can’t stop Solas, well that’s not something you want to know or live with. That’s probably one of the main reasons why she’ll be jumping to help the Veilguard.

Cullen isn’t the only one who suffers from awful nightmares. Anya does too, maybe even worse than Cullen now. One day she’s going to have to explain to the children why she wakes up screaming and it terrifies her. Luckily Cullen is always there to reassure her and he’ll be there to support her when that day comes.

Solas also appears in her dreams sometimes, just watching. She doesn’t know if it’s better or worse that he refuses to talk to her.

There is still a chance she’ll become Bann of Ostwick in the future, Ostwick’s Bannorn doesn’t have a birth hierarchy when it comes to heirs so she’s aware that might happen. She intends to decline and pass on it should it happen, she never ever wanted it, similarly to how she never wanted to be the herald or inquisitor but she can turn that title down.

A more lighthearted one to end on with Anya for now, Dorian and Anya have bi weekly wine nights on a Friday, where they drink a glass or two of wine or any alcohol (or under some circumstances a non alcoholic beverage) and over the Crystal, catch up and talk about what’s going on in their lives. This is a regular thing, they do not miss it. Cullen looks after the kids if they’re still up and Dorian always schedules it in his busy schedule at the exact time every other week. The two best friends always make time for it.

Non inquisitor OCs below (because all of my inky’s are canon but they’re not the Inquisitor in my canon Worldstate, Anya is the only inquisitor):

Percy Trevelyan & Dorian Pavus:

Dorian is of course a magister.

But he does have frequent contact with Anya.

And Anya’s brother Percy.

Percy and Dorian got quite close during Inquisition. They both mostly were in the library in skyhold together, when Dorian was not out on mission with Anya. Percy, a circle mage fugitive, was recruited by Anya post Redcliffe to help research stuff, not that Percy needed recruiting.

So…Dorian and Percy were close. Very close.

So close in fact that they got married before Trespasser. It’s a secret so nobody knows….except Anya, Cullen, Maevaris and the main Trevelyan family.

Percy lives in Minrathous with Dorian most of the time. He’s Dorian’s chief researcher there.

Percy and Dorian frequently check in on Percy’s younger sister. Like I said, Dorian and Anya have wine nights, and Percy likes to check in on his younger sibling.

They have adopted an child, Felix although officially he is Percival’s child.

Bertrand Trevelyan & Cassandra Pentaghast:

Bertrand the oldest of the Trevelyan’s children is still an orlesian bard, so he returns to Orlais where he was recruited as a inquisition spy from.

But he now serves the divine (Leliana).

This allows him to be close to Cassandra who is on the exalted council.

Cassandra still revives the seekers. Bertrand goes with her.

Cassandra is still baffled by his choices and personality sometimes but loves him dearly.

Bertrand plans to marry Cassandra eventually when things are a bit quieter.

They both like to check in on Anya occasionally and see how she’s doing.

Thalia Lavellan & Solas:

Thalia is obviously, not happy.

She’s not miserable but she’s also not happy.

Thalia was supposed to keep an eye on the inquisition for her clan & work in the Herald’s rest but….she fell in love with Solas. Solas reciprocated and well broke it off.

But unlike Lavellan solas romance she didn’t get anything any closure or a talk until she discovered he was the dread wolf from rumours.

Solas still appears in her dreams and she desperately reaches for him in them but solas is actively keeping her at arms length.

Anyway she joined the veil jumpers in arlathan forest. Unknowingly close to a certain elf.

She has friends, she’s really good friends with Ashara, an older Dalish elf like her who is from Ferelden.

It’s not all doom and gloom but she’s still not over Solas and hopes that one day he’ll see reason or someone will make him see reason. Non violently.

And maybe, just maybe, their love will endure and he’ll come back to her.

[baphometsss]

will the haters' patronisation of solas enjoyers ever end

for some reason people feel like hating a character who starts off with a shitty outlook and then has it challenged and unravelled in the story makes them morally superior. it's purity culture at its finest. we're literally at the point of these people accusing solas enjoyers of being racist/xenophobic/manipulative/abusive/insert whatever hatemongering buzzword they can think of as if it somehow bolsters their argument, when it actually just makes them look childish and willing to reduce very real and painful struggles to a metric in point scoring for petty online squabbles

i have actually seen people accuse critics of the veilguard as a game to nazis. i wish i was joking. like this is the point that we're at and it's so unbelievably dumb it's kind of funny

one of the reasons arguments based on this logic don't really achieve anything is because they frame every single thing around victimhood and a false dichotomy of victim/perpetrator. like t/erfs for example. they're a fringe movement within feminism for a number of reasons but one of the fundamental reasons is that they heavily focus on reinforcing victimhood rather than empowerment. they seek out and prey on traumatised women, take their trauma and twist it into hate by validating victimhood repeatedly until there's nothing else left but piss and vinegar for other people who aren't exactly like them. in fact, this formula is straight out of the radicalisation playbook used by neo-nazis, terrorists, and similar pieces of shit

instead of reinforcing self-actualisation, self-belief, hope, communion with other people, and understanding of the vulnerability inherent to all human beings (the things trauma survivors actually need), they focus on biological essentialism and other claptrap to explain why more segregation and hate is necessary. it makes this messy, complicated world more digestible for people with cognitive distortions that are so extreme. all under the guise of 'women's safety/rights'. it's unsustainable, because at some point we become perpetrators too and this ideology doesn't make room for that. hence why there's truth to phrases like 'scratch a terf, find a racist'. they flatly refuse to acknowledge intersectionality, because that requires accountability for oneself and by the time they're radicalised they can't view themselves as anything other than victim. and once you're radicalised, you can't connect with people who haven't also been radicalised, so it becomes a vicious cycle.

it's something that's so insidious but it's made its way into every part of our lives. you're not perfect. no one is perfect. everyone is a clusterfuck of bullshit mixed with beauty and love and the potential for pretty much unlimited evolution. that's why i love solas. he's an absolute fuck up in so many ways, but he's also a victim of eras-long emotional abuse, he's suicidally depressed, he's a monumental failure, he's a sad wet cat in elven form and he's one of the most interesting characters i've ever seen. i would take that over some morally 'pure' but flat, one-dimensional and boring companions who talk in therapy speak all day long.

but while we're on the topic of 'fixing him'... what exactly is that even supposed to mean? people can't be 'fixed'. all you can do is heal. and love is nourishment in its purest form. lavellan doesn't 'fix him', nor do they try. they try to help him because they love him, but they're not trying to 'fix' him. the use of this phrase only reinforces my belief that people are falling for the radicalisation in online spaces even more, because it screams cognitive distortion. if you play a high approval inky, they're trying to help him grow and learn and understand. it's sad that so much of social justice has become divorced from love when love is the most important aspect of any kind of justice. people hand-wave and piss on love as if its a bad thing. it's not. and it's certainly not a bad thing to love a character who's fucked up, because they're the hardest ones to love, and therefore the ones who need it most.

[trulycertain]

Decided to un-hide helmets. This was, in retrospect, perhaps a cruel decision. Dorian's sort of makes sense, he's got a hood for the rain, but Sera… and Cass… and Gal…

Look at Gal's traumatised face. He's just realised he has a chicken on his head.

The thousand-yard stare really adds something, I think.

Cass is the most "disgusted noise" she's ever been.

Sera is looking pissed off, fairly, because this is some Solas nonsense she'd never wear.

Dorian's doing pretty OK in an AssCreed sort of way, but helmets shave your head because they're a replacement mesh for hair, so…

Of course it has a fancy little border. That boy does like embroidery. Though, um… is anyone going to tell him he looks like a Venatori?

[calico-callista]

Inquisitor outfit backlogs- Hell hath no fury like a Lavellan that romanced Solas and was already a traumatised mess