#socially deviant grief!

[lenaschin]

The Haunting of Hill House

In “We’re Going to Make You into a Proper Woman: Postfeminist Gender Performativity and the Supernatural in Penny Dreadful,” Pedro analyzes two female protagonists in relation to their supernatural abilities, or "uncanny doubles," a term used to personify the socially deviant side of one's identity--ones 'otherness.' Pedro critiques the lack of liberation for these women, whose tragic endings frame their 'social deviance' as not only failed, but as worthy of punishment. The show thus reinforces gender norms despite its focus on female perspectives. The Haunting of Hill House similarly explores “uncanny doubles,” which take the form of supernatural spirits that haunt Olivia and Nell Crain (mother and daughter). The show surrounds the Crain family reunion (4 siblings and 1 father), as they gather for Nell's funeral. We soon learn of the family’s complications, all of which are tied to their summer at Hill House (~30 years ago), where Olivia (wife & mother) was driven to hysteria and committed suicide. I focus on Episode 5, as Nell’s perspective is shown through flashbacks, and the supernatural forces behind her death are revealed.

1. How does the series form and content inform the relationship of female physical and emotional growth and development?

The show’s form as a gothic horror enables a fictitious and creative exploration of loss, grief, & trauma's effect on female growth. Nell’s trauma takes the form of the Bent Neck Lady, a spirit whose random appearances cause paralysis and constant fear. This hinders Nell's development, resulting in her social withdrawal. Flashbacks reveal the spirit emerged at Hill House, creating a tie between the trauma experienced there, the Bent Neck Lady and Nell’s resulting development. While Nell temporarily finds a loving partner and shows positive growth (confronting her emotional trauma and fighting her physical paralysis), his death both halts and reverses her positive development, as her childhood grief resurfaces. At his death, the Bent Neck Lady stands next to his dead body, and visually marks the parallel between this loss and that of her mother. This marks the beginning of Nell's end, as she becomes emotionally weak and returns to Hill House. Her final development occurs at death, when she falls through time and realizes that she has just become--and has always been--the Bent Neck Lady. The series illustrates the role of loss in female development through Nell's final transformation into the Bent Neck Lady, aka, her trauma; trauma defines her--she has internalized her loss, and we watch grief literally consume her from the inside out.

Arthur's Death

2. In what ways does the series use cinematic timing to chronicle character transformations? 

The show provides information surrounding the Cain family members’ individual character transformations through its editing style, in which flashbacks to 1) ~30 years ago at Hill house and 2) the recent past–prior to Nell’s death, are interspersed throughout the present (Nell’s funeral). Each episode focuses on one character’s perspective, and reveals their individual childhood experiences at Hill House in relation to their current adult lives. Luke, Nell’s twin brother and the second most affected of the Cain children, exemplifies a stark transformation through two back-to-back scenes. We flashback to childhood, and see him as a strong, self-sufficient boy who takes care of Nell–he teaches her a counting method to use as a distraction from the Bent Neck Lady. This is contrasted by a switch to the recent past, in which Luke–an addict a dirty, scratched face–walks the streets alone. The Tall Man—a spirit that emerged at Hill House—floats behind him. He uses the counting method he previously taught Nell, now attempting to distract himself, rather than helping her. His initial youthful fearlessness and positivity contrast with his current vulnerability and anxiety, and this transformation is heightened through the switch from the past’s bright, colorful clarity to the dark, sickly yellow tones of the present. The Tall Man’s presence and his switch to represent Olivia at the end of the scene visually highlights this transformation as directly tied to his childhood trauma and loss.

Luke's Transformation (15:55 - 17:25)

3. How are the primary characters’ ages and development coded by the characters around them? 

All of the primary characters develop with age, and initially represent narratives of youthful innocence, but take a turn after their summer at Hill House. I focus on Nell, as her siblings play a particularly large role in the choices she makes, including her eventual death and final development into the Bent Neck Lady. Nell’s siblings treat her as a naive child during both childhood and adulthood, leading her to internalize feelings of “invisibility.” This invisibility follows her throughout life, as her siblings disregard her fear of the Bent Neck Lady and ideas of the supernatural, blaming them on mental illness. This treatment results in Nell feeling unheard–invisible–, and leads to feelings of worthlessness and isolation, which are framed as partially responsible for Nell’s eventual despair and return to Hill House/death.

Nell's Invisibility

4. In what ways does the series reflect narratives of youth and represent narratives of adult functionality or dysfunctionality?                               

The series focuses on youth as a key part of the Crain childrens’ later identities as adults, connecting their level of functionality to the varied levels of trauma they faced as children. Youth is portrayed as naive and innocent; a blank canvas to create a fully functional adult. Those touched by trauma develop into dysfunctional adults, while those less affected are more functional. The two most dysfunctional adults are Luke and Nell, who experienced the consistent appearance of evil spirits at Hill House. Steven, who experienced the least supernatural trauma, is framed as the most functional sibling, and as such, doesn’t understand the source of his family’s dysfunctionality. He blames his mother’s haunting on mental illness, and later does the same with Nell. Nell’s dysfunctionality is framed in contrast to Steven’s functionality, evident in a scene where she crashes his book signing at the height of her grief.

Nell's Breakdown

5. How does the series use the fantasy genre as an area for framing virtue and villainy?         

Just as Pedro notes in the reading, the supernatural can be used to empower women, but this series fails to do so, and instead frames the two most narratively significant characters as villains. While Olivia is initially framed as a warm, loving mother, her victimization quickly leads to her villain hood. Poppy Hill, an evil spirit, feeds on Olivia’s loving emotionality, and convinces her to kill her children to save them from the “evil” of the outside world. While this plan fails, Olivia accidentally poisons a little girl in the process and is framed as hysterical. Years later, her vilification continues when Olivia's spirit fully consumes the role of her uncanny double (Poppy's spirit), orchestrating Nell’s death just as Poppy did to her.

Poppy Hill (spirit) urges Olivia to "wake her family up" from the nightmare of life--to kill them, keeping their spirits 'alive' and 'safe' in Hill House, forever.

Nell's Death (TRIGGER WARNING: Stop Before 1:35)

Nell illustrates an even clearer clash between victimhood and villain hood, as she has always been her uncanny double, the Bent Neck Lady. By framing Nell as her own villain, the narrative blames her for her own victimization, and thus punishes, rather than liberates her. While last episode allows her to reclaim virtuosity, as her dead spirit helps her trapped siblings escape from Hill House, the truly impactful act is framed as her father's sacrifice, shifting the focus to male heroism and away from Nell.

Moments before Death, Olivia blurs Nell's view of Hill House. She hallucinates beauty and the presence of her loved ones, and only wakes up when it's too late, and Olivia literally pushes her to death.

Critical Thinking Questions:

Do you think that Nell and Olivia are victims, villains, or neither?

Hill House is framed as a place where time is non-linear, which enables the characters (Nell) to interact with themselves in different time periods. How is this meaningful in relation to confronting their trauma?

In the end of the show, Hugh sacrifices himself, fully calming Olivia down and enabling his children to escape from Hill House. Do you think his heroism overshadows the horrible fates of the female protagonists?

Nell's constant anxiety is only truly resolved when she returns to Hill House, the source of her trauma. In response to this, do you view her ending as closure instead of punishment/torture?

#oxyspeculativetv @theuncannyprofessoro

[giveamadeuschohisownmovie]

Speaking of video games, another game I picked up because the semester ended was “Detroit Become Human”. I never finished the game, so I wanted to go back and actually do a full playthrough. I managed to beat the game in two days.

My overall review is that the story is really engaging and I enjoyed how everything was unfolding. I could see this being an actual, high-budget show. It’s just, the handling of the social issues that it’s trying to represent is heavily flawed. Good message, but really questionable presentation. Still, it’s a really well-crafted game that I enjoyed playing. It’s basically on the same level as “The Last of Us 2” for me (I also thought TLOU2 was a well-made game, but with an iffy story that didn’t really work in certain ways).

Highlights from my playthrough:

1) How I played the trio -

* I played Kara as the fierce mother who would do anything to protect her child, such as shooting Todd, robbing the convenience store at gunpoint, and staying at the motel since that was the most secure of the hideouts.

* I played Markus as Martin Luther King, Jr who had no hatred towards humanity due to his connection to Carl.

* I played Connor as the ULTIMATE bootlicking cop, always loyal to CyberLife and advancing human interests. Why? Because I wanted to spice the story up, so I had Connor play the role of the central antagonist. Everyone does Deviant Connor, so I wanted to go against the grain.

2) Kara, Alice, and Luther made it across the border! I was really proud of that.

3) Connor died three times in my playthrough. Hank shot him out of disgust, then Markus shot him in self-defense, and then he killed himself to escape the authorities who stopped him from assassinating Markus.

4) I was fully committed to villain Connor until the end. I didn’t want him to kill Markus after he won through peaceful means, so I had him go deviant ONLY at the very end.

5) My relationship to Hank sunk to hatred because I was playing the villain. This also meant Hank shot himself out of grief, which was pretty surprising since I never knew that could happen.

6) Markus got together with North in my playthrough. I did the ending where he kissed her, which convinced the public we were humans.

7) I accidentally killed Simon. I spared him as Markus, but then Connor found him on the rooftop. I swear, I didn’t mean for that to happen, I was just following the blue blood.

8) My body count was pretty darn high. Todd, both of the Tracis, Chloe, Rupert, Simon, Hank, Carl…lots of characters bit the dust in my playthrough.

[johntylermounce]

Wish, only, for their spirit, grief stir.

Every sporadic moment comes forth..

Pliers places shaken down with cope.

Anomalies begun to the sewing machine

The nebulous of her social disease

Modicum came through her stool

Lauds of an overloaded spite.

Malaise the missing of her womb.

His soul is back with her designation

Palatable praise put to heir's pillow

Deftness denied but doesn't dynasty

Mistaken misdeeds misled by mindset

Deviant death that curse I felt

Scathing with a soul that shall succeed

Kinship with only kindness my heart to retrieve

Purportedly place the memory bank

Fraught with a foreign storm of sound

Alas her pain has surrender to thine

Pernicious this proper place

Loathsome the longing of this man

Futile to a fight that held they hand

Inscrutably idiosyncratic illness

Protagonist prayers that peep

Ailing the magnate to.. rest easy, verily.

[projektimpworld]

[HS2/AI] Senran Kagura ~ Shiki

Senran Kagura series for Honey Select 2 (ハニーセレクト2 リビド) / Ai Shoujo 少女 Name : Shiki (四季) School : Gessen Girl's Academy Origin : Senran Kagura series Costume : Academy Birthday : March 25th, Height : 161cm Character Build : Projekt IMP Build version : 1.0 Mod by : chw, kuroshiba, mlekoduszek, sjjpl Profile : https://senrankagura.fandom.com/wiki/Shiki

Shiki (四季, sometimes spelled "Siki") is a playable character from the Senran Kagura video game series. She makes her debut in Senran Kagura: Shinovi Versus.

A first-year student at Gessen Girls' Academy. She uses high-spirited gyaru language (adapted as "valley girl" speak in the English version) and makes friends everywhere she goes, often texting them at inappropriate times.

Despite her shinobi training and discipline, she hasn't forgotten her younger days as a freewheeling rich girl and still misses her parents deeply. To soothe her grief, both for her parents and her adopted grandfather Kurokage, she often recites the Heart Sutra to herself. ---------- Card & Mod Pack ---------- ► Download : https://projektimp.gumroad.com/l/pjzze ► Store : https://projektimp.gumroad.com/ ►Install Note : Extract Zip to your game installation folder : X:\Game\Illusion\Honey Select 2\(HERE) ► Overlays Note : Load overlays manually IF needed, face, body or clothes overlays can be found at X:\Game\Illusion\Honey Select 2\UserData\Overlays\IMP\(HERE) ► Gumroad download instruction : Put any amount inside "$ box" before check out. Ex : $.0 and click I Want This/Buy This. Fill the email section, fill discount code if you are a patron member, click "Get", click "View Content", Click "Download" to download your card file. ► Guide and tutorial to download and install : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Ubmg-NUPaU

If you encounter any problems or have any question, feel free to reach our support. Contact Support : projektimpworld@gmail.com

---------- Social Media ---------- ► Pixiv : https://www.pixiv.net/en/users/74997946► Twitter : https://twitter.com/Projekt_IMP► FB Page : https://www.facebook.com/projektimp/ ► Youtube : https://www.youtube.com/c/ProjektImpWorld ► Deviant Art : https://www.deviantart.com/syncvloid► Patreon : https://www.patreon.com/ProjektIMPworldAlso Available at IG, Pinterest, Tumblr and Pawoo. Best regards, Projekt IMP 世界 Disclaimer : All character model available at Projekt IMP store are built by Projekt IMP. Projekt IMP 世界 character card store is ONLY selling base character model, not the mod. Please keep your KK manager updated. Mod creator will always mentioned at description box. Please do support Mod creator listed in the description for their awesome works. All character created in this channel is a work of  fiction. Unless otherwise indicated, all the names, characters,  businesses, places, events and incidents in this creation are either the  product of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any  resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is  purely coincidental.

[transgressiveprocess]

Quality of life...

The stench of semen in the air...

...rotted...

...putrid...

Curdled reproductive fluids ejaculated overnight into hermetically sealed underwear, sexually frustrated pustules bursting in tandem, synchronised wet dreams gush forth from minds twisted, knotted, fused together, an orgiastic frenzy, a violent gangbang forged in the sick and depraved minds of those deemed too unhinged for even a society as sick as this…

“But what about consent?”

The doctor threw his head back, spewing forth his filthy laugh, shrill and hollow, the sound a jackal might make when it’s dying of dysentery, it’s bowels so mangled and liquefied they slide right out, a prolapsed rectal void. That’s the sound.

“Consent is a bourgeois illusion perpetuated by those with something to lose.” He rose the base of his thumb, his hands twisted, burned, warped by scar tissue like gloves made of mummified human skin soaked in blood and left out in the baking sun, rotting, drying out until they were a size too small...

...if the gloves don’t fit, you must submit...

...and did a bump.

“We are born into this world, a lost barren landscape kicking and screaming, covered in blood and shit and vaginal mucus, the of fusion semen and eggs, the by-product of reproductive waste voided by first man then woman, gestating and gesticulating until we are thrown out into the world to fend for ourselves, hopeless, lost, the stench of cock and cunt burned into our fibre, a twisted spermatozoa double-helix bonded by sticky mess of fallopian excretions.

“We no more consent to life than to death, but”, he said, taking another bump, “only one of those is illegal.”

***

...The Greater Globetown Centre For The Socially Defective…

...Sickos...

...Psychos…

...Deviants…

...row after row after row after row after row...

“He was such a happy child.”

A lonesome tear formed in the corner of her eye…

Emotional pre-cum, the nurse thought, rubbing his cock absent-mindedly…

...widows... mothers... sisters... husbands... brothers... fathers… therapy pets…

...no questions asked…

Nothing was more arousing than death now. Grief was his porn.

Tears…

Sobbing…

Howling…

...foreplay before the life-affirming fuck, the cum as you are frenzy of grief, comfort in the filth of carnal abandon…

...a stranger’s jizz leaking out your ass during a funeral service… accident-proof underwear stolen from the Centre’s laundry…

…stale… crusted… worn in…

…no more embarrassing stains… no having to explain… bent over casket… pay last respects… rectal leakage… a large dark spot develops on the ass… food poisoning… incontinent with grief… buggered in a side room… parents and children outside… family and friends … waiting patiently… compose himself… let it out… let it all out… one heaving ejaculation of grief… a willing repository for anger… frustration… pain… loss… the agonising emptiness and futility of existence… Give it to me… I’m here for you… Don’t mention it… All part of the service…

Two hundred mourners in all listening to the man of the hour howling with the pain of loss in a locked bathroom, the air still buzzing from the vicar’s early morning shit, the bitter notes of early morning coffee and late-night communion wine floating up his nostrils like the spirit of The Lord…

Humanity, the ultimate morning after regret…

…the solid, festering bowel movement that not even God can flush...

…her husband goes to grab a tissue from the bedside cabinet. The nurse grabs his wrist… firm, strong, practised… his pulse pounding… He makes a bet which one will go first, mother or son…

“I’m sorry”, he says, feeling the blood, clotting like milk left out of the fridge, pumping through his shrinking veins, “but those are for the patient’s use only.”

“He’s comatose, for fuck’s sake”, the man yells, ripping his hand away from the nurse’s clammy grip, his fingerprints etched into whitened skin, “what does he need tissues for?”

Immediately, he regrets the question…

…the elephant in the room… standing to attention… a throbbing erection unable to be suppressed by even weighted blankets protrudes from under the covers… twitching instinctively at the smell of nearby clunge…

“Have one of mine”, says the nurse, holding out a fresh, crisp packet of tissues…

It always helps to be prepared…

[toxicgreenslushi]

The Jury is out on Deviant behavior

The jury is out.

Yet according to societal norms I am deviant. Cut from a different cloth. Weird. Problematic.

Most of us, many of us, know how this feels in some manner. If you don't you are chaste and committed to a disciplined lifestyle. Perhaps it was one already carved out for you, perhaps it was one you chose.

If you go against the grain there will be retaliation. There will be those that condemn you, openly express their disdain for you, persecute you. In extreme cases and environments if you do not shield your so called deviance you may be in danger. Threatened with violence, incarceration, exile. Exile being the least extreme but none the less ostracizing. You will be ostracized in some regard.

You can accept the labels or shun them. I think the nuances are overlooked on macro scale. If one cannot be compartmentalized, you are suspicious. Being queer, belonging to a sub-culture, having opposing political beliefs, speaking your mind without thought, mental illness, any type of marginalized persons, and more...you are othered. You are the outlier.

Is it shameful to be the outlier? Many great figures in history and innovation have been outliers. Many discoveries and groundbreaking ideas, inventions, and movements have come from outliers.

Sometimes we find community, best case scenario we find communities that accept us. That do not pass harsh preconceived judgement. Those that make us feel safe and free to be our authentic selves.

Is the real problem the ones who have othered us, the conformers or the normcore extremists cannot tell the difference between "different" and "evil". They find the sometimes problematic behavior that most people face or will face as EVIL. Because in our sub-cultures and communities we have embraced ourselves, our sexualities, our cultural practices, our identities, our otherness. They see no difference between harmful actions and free consensual actions. People cherry pick their beliefs without proper language. They condemn those they love sometimes without knowing and in more insidious cases with intention. When we embrace ourselves, there will be people that either condemn us or question us. Tell us we are lost, tell us we are wrong. Deviant.

When we make our own communities and they thrive they try to burn them, abolish them with laws, slander us in the media, commit hate crimes, make snide comments in the super market, belittle us, see us as less than human. Deviant. Invalid. Lost Soul. Confused. Wrong. Disgusting. Misguided. Damned. Evil.

Are we evil? I don't believe that. But in life you will be met with many roadblocks, conflicts, and potential adversaries. You need not engage with them if you can avoid it, I would say it is best to do so. We stand up for ourselves but do not intentionally put yourself in harms way. Do not argue with those committed to opposing you. It is futile and a waste of energy.

It saddens me that we are so disconnected because of our differences. That we are not seen as human but as walking atrocities, social pariahs, lepers, demons even. How sad and confusing for everyone living through this. How horrid that any youth that is different is deemed "confused", wrong, bad, shameful, or simply "ill". What a fearful world. It is stifling, it feels like suffocating.

Jumped from ships to escape slavery. Exiled and walked through miles of desert to a strange land. Spit on. Beat up. Abandoned or disowned by those who claimed to love us. Hung, burned, tortured, imprisoned, banished. This is not loving thy neighbor. This is pure hatred. It is a deep grief the body carries throughout life. We look to substances and vices. If we are lucky we have elders or wise persons in our communities to help guide us. But ask us why we are lost?

The condemned and deviant are deemed radical criminals with illnesses that cannot be treated. Ill in the body and the mind. Not all of us have been nurtured, so sometimes it is believed that we are bad. Shameful. Sinful.

God help the outliers. I still believe in you. We may have been created equal in God or the Universes eyes, but we are not seen as equal. We have broken apart and fought each other over difference in opinion since the beginning of time. It is not criminal activity I refer to here, it is simply difference. A stark difference is a target on your back. I still look to God to guide me, I do not believe I am condemned.

We are a broken species. Lost. Not just the ostracized.

[ohcyrus]

Oh, Mighty Isis!

Let's talk about Queen Aset--poor woman. Right, I know incest probably was popular Before Christ in Egypt, what with them customarily slaying and eating each other, but something in my gut tells me Osiris wasn't such a stand-up gent. Set certainly wasn't, but imagine that kind of pressure from your brother, the King--I mean, I'd certainly be afraid not to marry him. Anyway, you elope with your brother, and you can't even confide in your other brother about it because he's mad you ain't fuckin' him, dawg. God fucking shit. I would imagine, that when Set went and diced Osiris into a fourteen-piece McNugget meal (Dick on the Nile), the Queen wouldn't be able to help but feel responsible, twisted as the human mind is. I imagine she'd go mad with grief, especially after doing what a woman is asked of, cleaning up the boys' mess and, you know, reassembling her brother-lover along the way. I also imagine that Horus (somehow worse than the name Isis), being a product of incest, would look something like Sloth from The Goonies, with a bird's head and everything. Like the hawk he was, he tracked and killed his Uncle Dahmer, but where does that leave our Great Mother Isis? Sadly, she took pity on her brother during his battle with her son, causing her buckled baby boy to lop her head off. I feel like our Great Mother is forever embedded in the sands of her brothers' and son's sins, where not a single thing that comes to her will ever feel like her own. That's no way to live and, luckily, the Egyptians didn't care much to anyway. If I had to guess, Isis is probably frozen by her false guilt in a nasty pattern: birthing herself into the bodies of those who are worthy; those with an unwavering will and taste for the Old Flesh. Yes, Isis is most definitely cohabitating with some deviant right now, the Akh to their Ka and Ba, whispering secrets of a life before life, guiding them to the particular extremities of fourteen unlucky souls, to bring her King back into the world--our world--of flesh and blood. To free herself of his suffocating, watchful eye or to just keep her mind occupied, I'm not sure. But I'd guess it's simply out of love, and that's the evil in it: even a Martyr to the worst destruction it brings, even a Goddess of Healing and Magic, cannot break its hold. Man. So is love, and so is life--at least it's no longer custom (or socially acceptable) for the rich to go fishing for poor children from their bedroom windows.

[theropoda]

Realizing. youve been struggling from disability your whole life only a few months ago is crazy. it didn't change anything but it changed everything. it changed my perspective completely it changed the way i view and live life and i feel like im grieving because like Whatever emotional process that realizing i am disabled just triggered, it's.... it's probably closest to that. Or something. grief.

i understand what a disability is and how it works. now so i can view my life differently now through a more informed lens and that lens is called the nightmare goggles cause it really ruined everything. its why im uneducated why im stupid why im dirty why im ugly why i don't know my mother tongue why i act childish why my parents smother me why no one trusts me to handle myself why i have no social skills why im so fucked up its responsible for all these things directly or indirectly. jesus Christ man. it's why ive always hated the label of human and always felt more like an animal than human, why me being a furry isn't just an aesthetic art hobby thing but also a deeper way to look at myself because i don't want to be human because if im a human im an absolute failure deviant freak of a human i feel more like a stray dog than anything. its why ive always felt so isolated and lonely and unable to relate to anyone else or anyone else's experiences in the world, good or bad, and the list goes on, like. okay man. What am i supposed to do with this information

[mental-scurvy]

Me: *makes a post about a fanfic, tags it really thoroughly including the name of the fic*

* the author of that fic sees and reblogs my post*

Me:

[thyandrawrites]

it really was pointless!!!! Toga has his blood, he should have anticipated it! The first clone Toga makes (not her actually transforming) WILL have Jin's personality, memories, etc. He'll be "back" temporarily, and could make infinite clones ESPECIALLY since we know Jin's clones can be used for blood transfusions so she could potentially harvest infinite amounts of blood for keeping the transformation/making sure she can constantly create more clones. There was literally NO point. And Hawks is supposed to be smart enough to have realized this was a possibility given he knew their abilities.

I agree. Hawks should have seen this coming, but I think his oversight (and the Commission's) actually works with his characterization, not in spite of it.

(I hope you don't mind a longer and ramblier response, but your ask gave me food for thought)

Iirc, Toga's powerup, the ability to use the quirk of the people she transforms into, relies on the strong love she feels for them. But Toga is widely perceived as a deviant, and no one except for Jin and the League was ever able to accept her definition of love. In this light, I think it makes a lot of sense for Hawks to underestimate the threat her quirk awakening poses. Hawks never really understood the League as people, or the ties between them as care.

After all, we already have an example of Hawks Othering Dabi because he can't understand his reaction to Twice's death. He never got to know Dabi well enough to learn that he smiles when he cries, and in absence of tears he's just left grinning manically. So when Hawks sees an expression that he cannot immediately categorize as grief, he tells Dabi that this is not what loss should look like, implying that his reaction is heartless, that Dabi's the monster here, not the person who actually struck the killing blow.

Imho Hawks' failure to read any humanity in the League is supposed to mirror hero society's rejection of those that don't fit in. Compare for example his horrified and judgemental shock to the reaction Toga always receives when she drinks blood or otherwise experiences her version of love:

The dehumanization at play is very similar. The basics are: "you're emoting in a way that doesn't fit social norms I'm accustomed to, thus you're a deviant that doesn't conform, and as such, a monster".

Considering how Hawks only offered a chance for a fresh start to Twice, despite his time with them he never really got to see past that superficial impression of the League as violent freaks and murderers. It wouldn't surprise me if his idea of Toga is not to far off from that of the people who covered her childhood home in offensive graffiti.

I'm mentioning all of this because Hawks refused to acknowledge Jin's dying words. The hankie story.

In his dying breaths, Jin was trying to make Hawks see the humanity of the people he befriended in his time with the League. He tells him that heroes always divide people into "the virtuous," aka those deserving their help, and the "downtrodden folk" like the League, who don't. And he tells him that even if society sees his friends as hopelessly inhumane, beyond salvation, it was Toga who helped him at his lowest point, lending him a handkerchief to wrap around his head and ease his fear of splitting up. When the heroes left him to fend for himself until he lost his mind, it was a villain who cared to put him back together.

But Hawks never got to see that side of Toga, or that side of everyone else beyond Jin. He never acknowledged Toga's love as care the same way he recognized Twice's genuine love for his friends.

Hawks' worldview isn't wide enough to accommodate for such gray areas. I've written a post before on how I think Hawks functions on a categorization of people into "good" and "bad" boxes because that's what helped him survive the abuse, and imho this is just another example of it in practice. So he decides that Jin is a good man who was led astray by bad company, and only sees the rest of the League as monsters incapable of being as "good" as Jin.

I think Hawks' failure to foresee the consequences of killing Twice might fit into this narrative. It's not that he lacked any intel to make the connection, or that he had an uncharacteristic moment of stupidity and didn't think of the ramifications of murdering him. But if we read him as sufficiently socially inept to miscalculate the bond between lov members as purely transactional, like his reading of Dabi in relation to Jin, I think it helps understanding his incompetence better.

To put it in simpler terms, maybe it's not that he didn't anticipate that Toga could turn into the people she loves, but he simply didn't think that Toga could love Jin. Cause he assumed her version of caring was something more twisted and freaky than a "normal person's." That it had to be fundamentally different from the way people like him and Twice experienced it.

It's true enough that Toga only ever verbalized her romantic love/obsession for Deku and Ochako. We readers of course know that's not the whole extent of it, and that she draws even more strength and growth from the platonic bonds with the Lov. But it's also true that Hawks never acknowledged the League as a group of people brought together by the necessity of belonging with someone who can accept them for who they are. He just sees the villains, but not the humans underneath. Jin could,

But Hawks doesn't.

In that light, then, when Toga will bring back Twice, that won't just be a moral slap in the face that shows the force of the bond they shared, but it will also nullify Hawks' efforts towards protecting the greater good at the expense of the "downtrodden folks" like Jin.

And in doing so, it might show old guard heroes like Hawks, who represents the HPSC and thus the system itself, the fatal mistake of believing villains aren't human at the end of the day, and exactly what needs changing to have a better future

[complete]

Being trans (and left-handed!) [ID: a facebook post, with the author blanked out: Being trans (and left-handed!) In case you missed it, I'm trans.  I'm a trans woman, yes with a beard, and various other typically "male" traits. I'm also left-handed.  Not my choice, I was born this way, and strangely enough, no-one has ever given me grief for being left-handed.  Is that a problem for you? Being left-handed is a good example of how diversity works. 100 years ago in the UK (a supposedly "progressive" and "reasonable" nation) kids would get disciplined by teachers in school for being left handed, sent home from school, called names in the street, told they were being deviant, bullied, socially ostracized, and sometimes even physically harmed.  (I've not looked that much up of the stories of abuse left-handed people received, because some of the stories are quite grim, but they're not that different from the "punishments" or "exclusions" given to those who are neurodiverse, gender diverse, body diverse or sexuality diverse in the UK today.) Churches taught that being left-handed was of the devil, because it was "sinister" as opposed to "righteous" (literally - look up the etymology!) And people faced all sorts of ridicule and questioning over why they had "chosen" to be left-handed, with many choosing to suppress, work against, or hide their natural state and instead learn to pass as "right-handed".  What changed? Science disproved the hysteria, and education reinforced that there was nothing "wrong" with being left-handed, it was as natural as being right-handed, but there were a few social and practical adjustments that could help lefties in a right-handed world. To me all diversity seems like that, just a natural thing that we've been totally socialised to reject and freak out about, but it's not so different from being left-handed. Us people who don't fit the imaginary "norm" just need some love, acceptance and practical adjustments made to be able to better function in a world that often excludes us. That's your thought for today.  Maybe try loving and understanding people that are different to you, instead of freaking out about them? :)  x ENDS]

[starkrevolution]

Detroit: Become Human

Detroit: Become Human is absolutely brilliant, and frankly it deserves to be buried in mountains of awards. I'm not even going to get started on the environments, the scores, the costumes, the acting, or the way the gameplay begins very restrictive and becomes freer as your characters do. 

I’ve just been dying to make a list of SOME of the many, many, many references to historical/political/social events established in the game. I threw them all under the cut because it’s basically just a long list of me incoherently rambling. It’s in no particular order, and it’s lacking in research or cited sources. This is just the list of things I picked up on when I was playing. There’s definitely far more referenced in the game than what I’ve observed so far.

French Revolutionary Wars — Markus and the androids marching, planting the flag

Detroit's post-Motor City drug epidemic — Todd and red ice use

The Holocaust markings — androids wearing band and triangle

The demand to surrender a state, usually Texas — Markus' speech

Most dictatorships do it in some form, but the Soviet Union had a real penchant for killing its own agents when their job was done as it made them a liability — Connor RK800 replaced by RK900

Media bias — one-sided news narrative in support of the State

African American Spiritual — Luther singing Hold On

Mass graves — Markus climbing out of the pit

Corrupt political state - President Warren manipulating the narrative

Police state — androids violently attacked even when they try to march and demonstrate peacefully, non-violently

Black Lives Matter — like, close your eyes, throw a dart, and whatever you land on will probably be relevant to the BLM movement, but especially the CyberLife store break-in scene

Domestic abuse — Kara doing anything necessary to protect her child, Alice, from an abuser

Fleeing to Canada to escape slavery — Kara, Alice, Luther

Slavers posing as allies to capture slaves — Zlatko

Labeling Theory — criminalizing the self-aware androids by labeling them as deviants

The Industrial Revolution, job loss — over-arching theme of replacing skilled workers with machines

Depression, grief, suicide — Hank

Turing test/Uncanny Valley — Chloe

"The arrogance of man is thinking nature is in their control..." — Kamski

The "better treatment" of the house slave versus the field slave — Markus' life with Carl when compared to the lives of the other members of Jericho

"The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb." — The over-arching themes behind the bonds each of the main android characters make throughout the game.

Peter the apostle of Christ, the rock — Simon

Joshua, the assistant to Moses — Josh

Polaris, the guiding star — North

Sex trafficking, criminalization and devaluation of sex work — Eden Club

Underground Railroad — Rose and Adam

Honour suicides — androids killing themselves to protect Jericho

Spartacus, the Thracian gladiator who led a revolt (who was in fact a real person, but is often symbolized and best remembered by the fictional "I Am Spartacus" line from the 1960 film) — Markus/RA9, Everyone who fights for freedom is RA9. They are all RA9.

Religion, salvation, saviour — RA9, Markus, Connor, etc

Tearing down Confederate/Columbus statues (or statues in general) — Markus destroying the android statue outside CyberLife

The preacher near the paint store reminds me of someone but I can't pin down who so feel free to throw your thoughts out there.

The sociological implications and moral decisions you encounter while playing are heart-breaking and challenging. DBH will definitely make you reflect on yourself and your beliefs, regardless of your existing stance.

There are a million other magnificent references and nuances, but these are the ones that come to mind off the top of my head. I may add more as I continue to play and replay this game. Forgive the barely coherent information dump, but I want to yell about this game from the top of a building somewhere and I don't think QuanticDream has enough time on their hands to listen to me blather on.

I'm not being even remotely facetious when I say that this video game is an absolute masterpiece, and a great way to start discussions about really serious topics. I play it on SharePlay one-on-one with a friend two to three times a week in two-hour sessions, and she's gone from saying "Oh, the Holocaust markings are cringy" to "Wait, when you said Luther was singing a Spiritual, what do you mean? What's a Spiritual? Kamski just said something about a Turing test—what's that? Why is everyone on red ice? What do you mean it's like Detroit in the 70s? What happened in the 70s?"

Detroit: Become Human should be required homework for gamers everywhere.

[things2mustdo]

I went to visit my family for Thanksgiving, and as usual, I was confronted with numerous blue pill beliefs. While I’m no longer annoyed by these things, because I’ve gone through the “Return Journey” phase of swallowing the red pill, I did notice something that was extremely disturbing.

As I grew tired of arguing over basic political, economic, and gender points, I meandered downstairs to my family’s recreation room. There was a group of my younger relatives, aged 16-20, watching some show on Netflix about trans-gendered individuals.

I don’t know what the show was called, but one thing that really struck me was the show’s uncanny ability to use emotionally charged scenes and drama to elicit a feeling of compassion for the characters. In other words, numerous TV shows are now starting to take advantage of our natural empathy, and using it to sway our political and social opinions.

Emotionally Gripping

As I stood behind the couch watching a few minutes of this transgender show, I saw a very heart wrenching scene take place. Although the nuances of the story line were lost to me, I gathered enough information to see what was going on.

Basically, some guy was getting surgery to turn into a woman. As he was in the operating room, something went terribly wrong, and despite the surgeons’ desperate attempts to save him, he ended up perishing.

The following scene was comprised of extremely grief-inducing piano music played to various clips of the man’s children all mourning their loss. While this may seem innocuous, or like it’s just “creative, dramatic television,” I believe that it’s actually something far more sinister.

What’s going on here, is that the elites (because remember, this is a top down operation) are trying to traumatize the average American youth with images of the “horrors that transgender people go through!” They’re using television to create these emotional “triggers,” if you will, that will be ignited anytime someone says something against transgenders.

In other words, the trauma that occurs from becoming engrossed in this TV show (in our example) leaves an emotional residue of sorts, so that whenever the topic of transgenderism is brought up in conversation, the viewer subconsciously remembers the emotions associated with the topic which the TV show implanted into his mind.

Emotional Triggers

This became abundantly clear to me as I was arguing with a friend from the West Coast over transgenderism. I very calmly said that I believe it’s a mental illness, and should be treated as such. I said that these people need help, and we shouldn’t encourage them. I backed my assertion by referencing how the chief psychologist at Johns Hopkins Hospital has vehemently called out doctors who perform transgender surgeries as “collaborating with a mental illness for profit.”

Despite my calm and collected assertions, she grew EXTREMELY emotional and automatically assumed a whole host of things about me:

I’m a disgusting, careless sociopath

I have no sympathy for others’ suffering and I’m a cold-hearted bastard

I vehemently hate anyone who’s different than me

Despite the fact that none of these things are true, it became clear to me why she automatically believed this about me: the TV shows that she watches had been subtly implanting little emotional biases into her brain. This is how manipulative our “real” media is.

What happened, in psychological terms, was that as I was calmly explaining my perspective on transgenderism, her subconscious was flooded with all of the EMOTIONS that she associates with the topic:

All of the pain and grief she experienced from TV shows depicting transgender “issues”

How Bruce Jenner is a “hero,” and how much mainstream “opposition” he encountered when coming out

All of the anger she experienced when the token “anti-transgender person” in each show was a huge dick to the main character (more on this in the next section)

All rational thought was completely stopped, as she had literally been trained to elicit a certain response whenever the topic of transgenderism is brought up. Do you see my point? By repeatedly exposing people to scenes that elicit sympathy for transgenders, the media is engineering a widespread social response in favor of it.

Token Characters

As I alluded to before, another underhanded tactic that mainstream TV shows use is that they never have a rational, level-headed man who supports traditional marriage and normal heterosexuality. Any time someone in mainstream media doesn’t support the main character’s disorder, he’s always portrayed as a complete asshole.

This can take the form of him beating up the main character, bullying the main character, or what have you. I recall several years ago there was ample talk at the work place over some “anti-homosexual” character in glee that smothered a smoothie onto a guy just because he was homosexual, or something ridiculous like that.

Despite the fact that NOBODY I know would do something like this, the elite-sponsored TV utilizes token characters in order to implant a certain idea into our heads—the idea that everyone who opposes deviant sexual orientations is a cold-hearted bully. I recall that this was pointed out to me by a Catholic high school teacher, and it didn’t make any sense to me back then (before homosexuality was normal).

Now, in retrospect, I’m extremely thankful that he planted that seed in my class’s mind. The more that I look at television through this lens, the more I see what he was talking about. There’s never a level-headed, confident, genuine man that has game, either. It’s always either a completely meek beta male, or a chauvinistic “bad boy” Hank-Moody type character (although I do love me some Hank Moody).

This phenomena is taken even further as the transgender or homosexual person in mainstream TV is almost always portrayed as some brave, sweet, sensitive soul, with a hard life. In other words, the elites are engineering a dichotomy as Roosh has referenced before.

The dichotomy is that you’re either a sweet, empathetic, gentle-hearted person who supports transgenderism and deviant sexual preferences, or you’re a complete asshole who bullies and berates people just because “you’re mean.” This use of labeling brainwashes others into IMMEDIATELY putting you into the “sociopathic jerk” category if you don’t support transgenderism, making any and all rational discourse folly.

Subtle Desensitization

Another terrifying event that comes to mind of the media’s disgusting methods was when I was watching a popular kid’s TV show known as “Adventure Time,” a year or two ago. Again, I was with my family for some holiday event (I can’t remember which), and recall some of the kids watching this show.

Despite the fact that it’s labeled as a kid’s show, I saw an insidious little dialogue take place that was meant to desensitize children to pedophilia. In the show, there was some ball going on (I assume it was like a “prom” type deal), and the old wizard was looking for a partner.

He ended up going with some underage girl, who was probably 60 years his prior, and when the main character pointed this out, the old wizard simply stated: “Age…is nothing but a number!” Upon which the characters started dancing and doing comical things to prevent any sort of rational thought occurring after this was said.

After seeing this I became extremely disgusted and turned off the television, but that’s beyond the point. Why is this type of dribble being used to brainwash our youth? Anyone with half a brain can see that the point behind this scene was to start subtly implanting the seeds of pedophilia into a child’s mind.

Again, the words of my wise old Catholic high school teacher come to mind. I’ll never forget when he told me that “in 15 years, pedophilia will become normal.” My entire class was shocked, and couldn’t comprehend such a thing happening. He said this in 2009, and it seems that his prediction is coming true.

“First it will start with the media,” he said. “They’ll have some show where they make jokes about it and they’ll keep the humor very lighthearted, never showing the actual act. They’ll begin the process of desensitizing you, then eventually some politician will bring it up, and it will be an official stance that other politicians will be forced to take. This will begin the process of slowly normalizing it.”

My God was this man spot on, because this is EXACTLY how the media sways our opinions.

Keep in mind that their methods are SUBTLE, and that’s the point—they want to keep it below the level of thought so that you never question what they’re teaching you. Any time a strange or ridiculous belief is asserted, they very quickly move into a joyful scene or celebration to not only prevent you from thinking too much about the ridiculous belief, but to have you associate happiness with it, as well, which brings me to my next point.

Association And Correlation Bias

There’s a very powerful phenomena in psychology known as association; this is sometimes also called the correlation bias, or “Illusory Correlation.” This is basically your mind’s tendency to look for relationships where there aren’t any.

For example, why do you think most modern girls aren’t girlfriend material? Why do you think that the average man is weak, pathetic, and emasculated? It’s because of the media’s tendency to slowly create illusory associations within your mind.

The media causes women to associate happiness and a successful life with the following:

Being a man-hating feminist, who can’t submit to a strong, confident man

Not cooking or cleaning, because that’s “sexist”

Riding the alpha male cock carousel, and not getting married, because marriage is “oppressive”

The media creates a false correlation in women’s minds by constantly portraying bitchy, overly-masculine, slutty women as being empowered, sought-after, and happy. As any man who’s been learning game knows, this is absolute nonsense.

It doesn’t matter, though—once your brain has an association, it’s extremely difficult to get rid of it. This is why so many men are emasculated nowadays. It teaches us to associate:

Being a weak bitch with getting a hot girlfriend

Being a feminist and leftist with having girls think you’re noble and heroic

Courting a slut with being a gentleman

As any modern man who reads the manosphere knows, these are completely fallacious beliefs. Being a weak, low-testosterone man will not in fact land you the girls. Being a screaming leftist who holds those “I’m a feminist because,” signs will not get you the approval of women, and courting a washed up slut does not make you a gentleman (it makes you stupid).

Despite the obvious illogical nature of these beliefs, because the mainstream media has 8 hours a day to indoctrinate us, most men end up buying into them wholeheartedly, and will even berate you for having game when you CLEARLY get more women than them.

“So What Can I Do?”

First things first, stop watching mainstream media. In case you haven’t noticed, the MSM is starting to feel the effects of men waking up; in fact, they’ve recently gone on a long, drawn-out tirade about “fake news,” or in other words, news that is red-pilled.

I haven’t watched mainstream media EVER—the only time that I ever watch MSM is if they’re interviewing a pickup artist, a manosphere blogger, or if I’m trying to debunk their ludicrous reporting. I get almost all of my news from sites like ROK, Danger And Play, Info Wars, Natural News, and the people that I follow on Twitter.

In addition to only consuming a red-pilled information diet, ensure that your children don’t watch TV unarmed. I saw a phenomenal post recently on “How to Raise Red-Pilled Daughters,” and the ROK author talks about how he doesn’t flat out ban TV, but rather teaches his daughters to think rationally and learn to see the foolishness of MSM.

Aside from not watching MSM and raising your family to be skeptical of it, you can also support alternative media sites by simply tuning in. You don’t have to buy any of their products (although it helps); simply giving them your attention and leaving a thoughtful comment or two is enough to generate interest.

All in all, we’re facing extremely tumultuous times. More and more people are starting to break free of the MSM’s grip on their mind, but the men who get left behind end up more brainwashed than ever. Eventually, once the MSM dies, we can begin the long and arduous process of reclaiming our country—and this, my friends, is something I believe is worth fighting for.

Read More: Fact Checking Emotional Propaganda

When I was making a purchase at my local bookstore last week, the cashier solicited me for a donation. This donation was for a charity dealing with sick children or something. I told cashier I came here to buy a book not make donations. I guess she realized I am not one to be guilt tripped into doing things and told me that many people do not have the courage to say no. This pressure to comply due to emotional appeal has run rampant in America. When people make decisions on how they feel or manipulated by their feelings, not many good things can come of it.

Usually I do not delve into the details of the various schemes and manipulations that powerful people do in order to influence people’s behaviors. Someone actually fact checked one sales pitch for the limitation of guns. This exercise in breaking down an argument outside of the emotional shows that emotion is all it has. While the premise is guns, the method is pure emotional appeal.

The Mayor of New York City, Michael Bloomberg has decided to throw his hat in, as well as his capital, in a political fight against the NRA by spending an estimated fifty million dollars to start up Everytown for Gun Safety @ Everytown.org. If you go to his website, one of the articles pops out on the front page is an “analysis” of the over sixty “school shootings” that have taken place since the Newtown massacre on December 12th, 2012.

In this era of political rhetoric and ideological echo-chambers, there is little in the way of fact-checking and realism with statistical data. The media is off  panicking the masses of soccer moms and metrosexual dads that mass shootings are a growing epidemic, apparently none of whom look at the FBI’s Uniform Crime Reports of homicides every year. Of the sixty-two incidents on Everytown’s “analysis”, only one can be classified as a mass murder. The FBI is quite clear that a “mass murder” involves the homicide of four or more individuals with no cooling off period between the murders. The article would lead readers to believe that there have been sixty-two incidents of similar scope as the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting. But this is simply not the case.

With a total combined death toll between the sixty-two “school shootings” of 39, it’s hard to match them up to Newtown, which in one incident saw 28 deaths, including the perpetrator, Adam Lanza. Despite what the media might portray for politics, ratings, or profit, such shootings are exceptionally rare. Of course, a large amount of the focus is on the AR-15 reportedly used,the  gun control advocates would like gullible Americans to think without which Adam Lanza would not have been capable of such carnage. But if you remember the Virginia Tech shooting on April 16th, 2007. Seung-Hui Cho managed to kill 32 people, then himself, with nothing more than a .22LR caliber Walther P22 and 9mm Glock 19; the Walther with a magazine capacity of ten rounds and the Glock a bit more at fifteen. There is little discussion of firearms in the Everytown analysis, probably because they are virtually all handguns or the suggested firearm for home defense of Vice President Joe Biden, a shotgun.

Let’s look at that the lack of analysis this “analysis” gives us, as it’s little more than a picture of a crying woman and a list of schools at which a firearm was discharged on or nearby campus grounds since December 2012. Thirty-nine people dead, because of school shootings, between December 13th, 2012 and mid-April 2014. It’s hard to find statistics for causes of death even near that number. The United States averages roughly 51 deaths due to lightning strikes per year, over the last 20 years; according to NOAA. According to the CDC, there was an average of 3,533 unintentional drownings per year for the years of 2005-2009. Yet where is a politically motivated and affluent billionaire to launch a safety campaign outlining the dangers of pools or thunderstorms?

The fact that Mayor Bloomberg has taken Chicago Mayor Rahm Emanuel’s now infamous quote “never let a good crisis go to waste” to heart, is no surprise. But who thinks about the political realities of why someone is making moves against one of the GOP’s biggest political lobbies, using a tragedy like Newtown as the crest on their flag; when they are busy being emotionally compromised by the idea of children being gunned down in their school classrooms?

Among the 39 deaths, there is a justified case of self-defense, a possible case of self-defense, and seven cases of nothing more then suicides by firearm. The biggest trend among these “school shootings” is the shooters and victims are young black men. This reality is in stark contrast to the media image of upper-class white elementary school kids gunned down by socially awkward psychopaths with AR-15’s or other “assault weapons”. Few if any of the mainstream gun safety campaigns reflect the reality of gun violence. Remember, you are more likely to be killed by bee stings than you are to be shot on or around a school campus.

In conclusion, this emotional appeal by Mr. Bloomberg seems to be all about coercing a population into following his politics through emotional appeal. His advocacy gives them an audience of motivated people controlled by their emotions. What could a powerful person do with this audience aside from campaign against guns. I signed up at this website to get the newsletter. This newsletter only talks about political activism for those that seem to not be able to make up their own mind. Be aware of those that appeal to your emotion, because they may not appeal to your interests.

Note: The author received help from “Glocktopus”, a member of the notorious “Donk Chat” in writing this article.

[hennock]

YES TO UNDERSTANDING THAT DOING THIS [ANTI-RACISM] WORK ALSO MEANS SAYING YES TO THE DARK GODDESS. Not as a deity to be worshipped. But as an embodied practice of working with the Dark Feminine within yourself. The times that we are now living in and the work of social justice necessitates having a relationship to and embodiment of aspects of ourselves that patriarchal white supremacy has deemed as wrong, deviant or dangerous. The Dark Feminine and her myths from around the world as Kali Ma, Inanna & Ereshkigal, Demeter & Persphone, Isis, Sekhmet, Cerridwen, Hecate, Pele, Durga, Oya, Lilith, Baba Yaga and many more, have so much to teach us about what it means to embrace and transform the shadow – both within ourselves and in the collective consciousness. I will be writing and speaking much more about the Dark Goddess in the future, but for now what I want to say about this archetype is that through her myths, she teaches us the importance of transformational portals like rage, death & rebirth, grief, power, the mystery of not knowing all the answers, sexuality, no-bullshit truth-telling, strong boundaries and doing what is right rather than what is comfortable. To the extent that we are unable to tolerate and embrace these dark aspects, we will similarly be unable to do the work of sacred activism. If you cannot be with your own rage, then you cannot be with the rage that arises when a POC is getting frustrated with you because of your white privileged behavior. If you cannot be with your own grief, then you cannot be with the grief that POC feel as a result of living with the constant trauma of being oppressed and discriminated against. If you cannot be with your own power, then you cannot make space for POC exerting their power through their voice, their boundary-setting and their no bullshit truth-telling. If you truly want to do this work then saying YES to all of the above is a non-negotiable. Anything less than this is performative. It is wanting to give the perception of allyship and solidarity, without fully committing to it. And if a part of you is saying ‘Layla, you’re asking too much of me. I don’t know if I can do that’, then know that that in itself is privilege in action. Doing this work is an option for you because of your privilege. It is not an option for black and brown people, because it directly affects our lives. I also hear the highly sensitive, introverted empaths in the back saying, ‘But this will exhaust me!’. Guess what? There are highly sensitive, introverted empaths who are black and brown (like myself!) who are exhausted too. Sadly, we don’t get to opt out. I’m not saying don’t tend to your self-care needs to do this work. I’m not saying sacrifice your mental and emotional safety to do this work. I’m not saying nothing else matters except this work. I’m saying you can do both. You can do this work, and tend to your needs. Most POC you know are doing both all the time. Whether we want to or not. Remember, I am not asking you to do any of this perfectly. I am asking you to do it sincerely and with integrity. Just begin. Try. Fail. Listen. Learn. Speak. Be quiet. Change. Fail. Try again. Do better. Keep going. And don’t stop. Not ever. Not until all of us are free.

Layla Saad

[mountaingrll]

FÍLI X SORCERESS READER

ORIGINAL FANFIC I WROTE ON DEVIANTART

IF YOU WANT TO READ IT ON DEVIANTART HERE’S THE LINK: https://www.deviantart.com/ixdeadlynightshadexi/art/FILI-X-SORCERESS-HUMAN-READER-Chapter-1-838839997

CHAPTER: FIRST CHAPTER

WORD COUNT:  1000 words

READING TIME:  5 minutes and 6 secs

RATINGS FOR THIS CHAPTER:  Fluffy, All Ages

RATINGS FOR FULL FANFIC: Fluffy, 11+, Brief Mentions of Painful Injuries.

LONG CHAPTERS, BUT LESS THAN FIVE CHAPTERS

(JUST SAYING FOLLOW MY DEVIANT ART, LOL)

BAG END AT THE START OF THE HOBBIT

The crispy morning air was rushing through your nostril reaching your lungs. Making every inch of your tired body feel rejuvenated and alive. The birds twittered and frolicked around Bag End and flowers of the shire seemed to speak to each other, as you watched the early sun slowly rise bringing warmth to everything it touches. You were alone in this bliss, well at least you thought you were alone until a twig snapped behind you. You automatically spun around and saw two dwarves creeping behind you, these were the two nephews of Thorin you thought. Fíli and Kíli you met them briefly last night in Master Bilbo’s house when you first met the company.  

“Erm…hello (Y/N).” The brown-haired dwarf said, “Thorin told us to tell you that we are leaving soon, Master Baggins still hasn’t woken up and times wasting.” He continued.

“We’re starting our journey without our burglar?” You queried.

“Unfortunately, he seems a lost cause.” The blonde one answered, you thought he must be Fíli, for some reason the sound of his voice made your stomach fill up with butterflies. You hardly got this feeling when it came to men, and it made you uncomfortable. It was best to stay away from him, you shouldn’t have any distractions in this adventure.

“Well, thank you Kíli… and Fíli.” You liked the way his name sounded when you said it, which made you scold yourself even more. “You may tell Thorin that I will prepare my pony soon. Good day.” You finished abruptly. For some reason, the blonde dwarf felt hurt by your rigid antisocial behaviour; and started walking away to Thorin with his head hanging low. You felt a pang of guilt. Though Kíli the younger dwarf did not get the hints you were giving and lingered curiously by your side.

“So, you really are a sorceress?” He tested. You’re ears perked up, and you felt mischievous. Well… you had tried not to interact, it wasn’t your fault that your actions failed.

“Well, yes I am I was taught when I was a wee lass by Gandalf the Gr- “

“Really? Did you hear that?! She was an apprentice of Gandalf! Come here Fíli, it’s not every day you meet a sorceress our age!” Kili interrupted; he was quite slow on social ques, he reached over to Fíli and dragged him so fiercely that he fell almost on top of you. Fíli was obviously mortified and flushed red, he looked down but couldn’t help getting lost in your (e/c) eyes.

“If you’re really a sorceress why don’t you look like one!” Kíli yapped while Fíli’s eyes grew large in shame at his brother’s rudeness. “I mean when Gandalf told us a sorceress was joining us I thought he meant that an old pruney hag would be joining us, who would turn us into toads if we didn’t massage her bunions.” He said carelessly. Your face shot up at Kíli in amusement and bewilderment at his bluntness. Fíli turned crimson and elbowed his brother.

“Kíli can you be any ruder, you mortify Durins and make people uncomfortable.” He whisper shouted while growing as red as a tomato.

“It’s fine Fíli, Kíli’s just curious…though I will turn you into the toad if you call me a hag one more time!” You jeered.

“I’m sorry he doesn’t think before he speaks.” Fíli apologised for his brother. “He just meant he didn’t expect a sorceress to be so young and beautiful….” Fíli stopped speaking realising what he had just said a second too late, while Kíli suppressed a laugh. You looked down feeling your face grow an embarrassing shade of pink. “I…I…erm…sorry…I didn’t mean.” Fíli tripped over his words, though he gave up trying to explain himself for his mouth stopped working. The three of you watched the sunrise over the shire in awkward silence until you couldn’t stand it any longer.

“Well, may I just say that… you weren’t what I expected when Gandalf said that we’d be travelling with dwarves.” You started breaking the silence, which Fíli was grateful for.

“What did you expect of us (Y/N)?” Fíli asked inquisitively.

“Well if you don’t mind my saying so, I expected grey, wrinkly, stout dwarves that only come up to my knee. But you two are quite tall for dwarves, especially you Fíli.” Fíli met your eyes when you said this and your stomach leapt a tad as you looked into each other’s eyes. You were interrupted by Gandalf shouting at you to prepare your pony, though you all ignored his remark.

“What else did you expect of us?” Kíli requested, urging you to continue.

“I expected long white beards and bald shiny heads like Dwalin, with sharp tongues that would say bitter comments at the sight of a female sorceress.” Kíli and Fíli’s eyebrows raised, and you turned to Fíli and said, “Though most of all I didn’t expect such a kind and handsome dwarf such as yourself.” You said in a sly impish voice that made the tips of Fíli’s ears turn pink and his big blue eyes shine even bigger and bluer.

“(Y/N)! This is your final warning, I swear on Saruman, lass if you do not prepare your pony so help me!” Gandalf roared poking his head out of a window of Master Baggins’ House. Though you hardly noticed as you stared deep into Fíli’s eyes, then wandered up to Gandalf in the most enchanting way you could muster making sure that the befuddled dwarves were watching.  

BONUS:

Fíli and Kíli watched as you sauntered up the hill to the ponies.

“Fíli, she’s…she’s gorgeous. Imagine. We’ll be with her for the whole journey to Erebor. Sleeping next to her in camps, and you know we might be lucky enough to see…something…. If she bathes close to camp. She’s got excellent hips…” Though Kíli couldn’t say anything more as Fíli grabbed him by the neck and punched him in the nose as his fists trembled in indignation.

“How dare you Kíli, how dare you!? Speak about (Y/N) as if she’s rabbit meat! You should be glad Uncle Thorin’s here so I can’t continue beating you, or you would have lost the ability to feel anything. She may be beautiful and smart though she’s a warrior like one of us. You should be ashamed.” Fíli bellowed.

“Mahal, I knew it. You have feelings for her.” Kíli blurted still in shock as blood ran out of his nose.

“What?”

“For Mahal’s sake, you love that girl!”

“Alright then, I do. I love her, which is much more than you can say. You, on the other hand, would have treated her like a pack of meat if I wasn’t he-“

“Don’t you understand Fíli I didn’t mean anything of what I just said! I just wanted you to admit your feelings for her! I didn’t expect you to murder me!” Kíli barked.

“You meant what you said about her! Don’t turn this around with that excuse Kíli,”

“I made it all up so you would admit your love Fi, don’t worry she’s all yours. She’s gorgeous but I don’t fancy (Y/N).”

“Well then who would you fancy Kíli?” Fíli insisted.

“Well, let’s see. A pale lass with fiery red hair and good with arrows, quite tall too-” Kíli began.

“Good grief Kíli, with that description you’re better off with an elf,” Fíli said bitterly, Kíli was astounded.

“Sod off Fíli, you know I would never fall for an elf.”

I'LL PROBABLY EDIT THIS AND INSERT THE LINK FOR NEXT CHAPTER WHEN I'M FINISHED:

I SADLY DON'T OWN ANY OF THE CHARACTERS.                      

REBLOGS NO REPOSTS!

[smuttymess]

bts astro soulmate reading | for kristen

sign: leo sun | libra moon | taurus rising

lover: kim seokjin | soulmate: park jimin

This reading is for Kristen, a Yoongi/Hobi double bias with Taehyung wrecker. Your life must be such bliss? Please enjoy this reading <3

A Leo sun with a heart of gold, you are known for your caring, friendly, and intelligent demeanor. There is a naturally positive and regal energy to you that people are highly drawn to, making your social circle a vast one. More than anything you are popular - not prone to anger or unpleasantness, which your Libra Moon avoids like the plague. A natural motivator, you are able to bring people together and inspire them to reach higher. As a result, people often seek out your enthusiasm as it simply radiates from you and is very attractive. Your Libra Moon lends to your more emotional heart that seeks balance, fairness and kindness across all areas of your life. It also explains why you are able to remain quite optimistic even when surrounded by a group of pessimists - for you, there is always an upside and something to be appreciated or grateful for. Your boundless optimism and idealism in others can ultimately prove to be a double-edged sword, however, which people can take advantage of and you try tirelessly to protect yourself from. Being so in tune with those around you and direct feedback, you are extremely sensitive to the critiques and opinions of others, often seeing yourself through their eyes - potentially contributing to a weak sense of self behind a boisterous, confident persona. It may sound like you are all fire and emotion, but in fact you are rounded out quite nicely with your Taurus rising, which gives you the gift of effortless calm and coolness at least when people first meet you. Deep down, want people to perceive you you as calm, reliable, and deserving of the utmost respect.. Beneath this persona, however, is someone who desperately wants to be loved, cared for, and appreciated for their innate goodness as a source of comfort and nurturing for others. It is this goodness that attracts close friends and relationships into your life, and once they pass the initial barrier of your discerning Taurus rising, they are gifted with your limitless loyalty and dedication. 

A fiercely romantic individual, you are very much a believer in soulmates and deep, emotional connection. While there certainly may not be a "one" you know that there may be several individuals that are perfect for you and it is up to you to explore these options, making sure that you only date those who give you the high level of respect and affection you desire. You know that you cannot meet these potential love matches in the comfort of your own home, so it is not unusual to find you at some sort of event or gathering wherein you can be your sociable, friendly self. You certainly do not go out with the intention of meeting someone, but are highly open to any and all possibilities, of which you know there are many. Ever the center attention even when you are just minding your business, it is not usual to find a small circle in your orbit as you tell an amusing story to your adoring fans. While out with friends karaoke bar, you find yourself wrangled on stage to sing your favorite Bangtan song to rousing applause and laughter - your infectious charisma proving more important than your lacking fluency in Korean. After coming off stage, you're approached by an extremely handsome stranger. Excuse me miss, he says while extending his hand out to you. Sorry, I couldn't miss the chance to talk to the famous singer. Usually I'm the King of Karaoke but it looks like I have some competition. This sparks your playful, competitive spirit, daring him to show you what he's got. Your friends laugh at you when the shock emerges from your face once you're informed that the handsome man goofily singing on stage while staring directly at you is the infamous Kim Seokjin. 

In your early days with Seokjin, you two vibe extremely well, with you attracted to his very confident, humorous demeanor and he to your abundant positivity and charm. With his Mercury in Scorpio, he is known for his sociability and naturally strong communication skills, and together two are the life of any party. You are the pair that other people simply want to be around but also envy in that you two know how to have fun, above all else. While your Taurus rising may make you slightly more hesitant before acting spontaneously, Seokjin takes your hand and pulls you right off the ledge with him (a true Sag!) This level of adventure does not stop in your sex life, which is both a means of expression and an olympic sport. When you two get together, there is nothing (or nowhere) that is off limits, and there is adventure around every corner. Jin is traditional in many ways, but Venus in Capricorn provides him with high levels of creativity and romance, which when combined with his Sag Sun results in taking things to new heights - literally. It is not unlike him to have you straddle ride him in the back of the private jet on your way to some foreign locale, unable to wait until you land, frantically running his hands over your hips, curves and ass before sliding your panties to the side. While a gentleman in public, he is unafraid to let loose in bed, your moans likely heard by the the pilot as he flips you over, legs up propped on his shoulders as you soar thousands of feet above ground. Even hitting some turbulence wouldn't kill the mood, with the highly adaptable Seokjin able to make any situation work to his benefit - in this case, an immediately change in sensation or angle.Overall, sex between you Jin is always a fun and fully enjoyable experience, one not to be taken too seriously and bogged down in any fuss or worry.

While Seokjin adores you, ultimately his Sag tendencies is not able to give you all of the care, affection and attention your Leo heart requires. Not wanting to rock the boat in your relationship, you attempt to convince yourself that you are fine to live with less than what you desire. This, of course, fails as your resentment comes to the surface resulting in passive-aggression and avoidant tactics to get attention, and even the occasional outburst - which is quite out of character for you. Your Libra Moon makes you prone to jealousy - despite your own flirtatious ways - which only worsens when you feel your needs are not being met. All of these indirect behaviors are directly at odds with Seokjin's Sagittarius sun which fears being controlled or restrained in any capacity, causing him to distance himself further to the point where you barely know each other. It is after a lot of internal grief and increased loneliness on your of pain that you decide to part ways, making way for a new partner who can suit your needs better. While you know it is the right choice, you hate to see close relationships - especially romantic - to come to an end. 

Your three placements in Leo, Libra and Taurus lend you to over-indulging in the finer things in life. One of the most romantic signs in the zodiac, you regularly fall in love with people, ideas, and material things. There is so much beauty to be experienced in the world, and you want it all. In a perfect world, you would only be surrounded by the most beautiful and enjoyable things - especially after such a painful breakup, wherein few things can soothe you more than a bit of frivolous distraction. Despite the caution afforded by your Taurus, you may occasionally spend irresponsibly, preferring to live in the moment and enjoy the present - you can't take it with you, as they say. You are known to have expensive taste, and are known to enjoy life's many luxuries from art and culture to food and drink.  This is what brings you to Paris where you soak in all of the romanticism at your fingertips and perhaps even window shopping along the Champs-Élysées, your eyes growing wide at the magnificent architecture and the pieces lining storefront windows. Parched, you a break at an outdoor cafe space, not realizing the table next to you is occupied by another patron. It is not long before he leans over and introduces himself as Park Jimin and you find yourself sharing a drink with him, discussing your travels and what brought you here. Jimin knows exactly how to approach you, immediately drawn in by your regal nature. You two are quickly drawn to each other's very evident kindness, conversation flowing easily as expected between fire and air, and you can both sense a fire that lies beneath the surface of the other's charm, curious to learn more. Are you busy right now? My hyungs ditched me for the afternoon and I could use some company. 

Maybe its the romance of Paris or the beautiful Libra you've met, but you two are practically inseparable from the start. You turn heads, but people admire your genuine adoration for each other - your shared enthusiasm for one another comes naturally. The relationship exists on a pleasurable note, with both of your signs highly averse to drama, ugliness or vulgarity. Another natural leader of the zodiac as a Cardinal sign, Jimin intrigues you with his passionate, driven energy that is at once determined and strong (Mars in Scorpio) but upbeat and relaxed (Saturn in Pisces). He is drawn to the grace and sensuality in your mannerisms and your speech that is attractive as he cares a lot about how he and the people around him are seen and perceived, and like you he is very invested in putting forth his best self through his style and behaviors. You both exist on a similar wavelength of high quality in your appearances and actions, which allows you to quickly become confidants friends even before things deepen into romantic territory. 

Even in your initial interaction, is not lost on each other than you are attracted to each other, so why wait? Under Jimin's angelic, ethereal aura is a bit of a deviant with a rebellious side, and with he feels comfortable in existing more freely by following your fiery lead once he breaches any protections your Taurus rising may have put in place. In a way, he lives vicariously through your strong sense of creativity and individuality, which allows him to become a truer more version of himself without fear of judgement from others. Your shared desire to be the center of attention and adored, with the potential for volatility in other astrological pairings, is actually understood between you and Jimin. His Venus in Scorpio makes him more amorous and flirtatious but also jealous and possessive of his partner. You're both attention whores in a way, wanting to the adored and admired, but instead of resenting each other for it you are able to accept that your partner is a flirt and will have eyes on them - and it doesn't matter so long as they only have eyes for you. It is not unusual for you two to play in public, using your jealousy to your advantage as you find it makes for incredibly make-up sex after the night is over. Sex with Jimin is gentle but passionate, with each session bringing new exciting intimacy and closeness that comes from earning each other's trust and devotion so soon. Like you, Jimin likes to indulge in intimacy and savors it like a delicious meal. You're happy to be devoured - his hands grabbing the back of your neck as he pulls your mouth to meet his with your back against the wall the second you walk in the door. You two know how to rile each other up, your teasing smirk igniting him as he presses firmly into your frame, gently separating your legs to slide two fingers into you to make you immediately crumble to his touch. My girl loves attention, hmm? You loved how everyone checks you out and wants you? Tell me you're mine, baby, I want to hear you. 

In time, the home and life you build with Jimin is an idyllic one of beauty, comfort, and harmony. While things are not always perfect (don't dwell too much in jealousy or moodiness!) in each other you find that the scales are balanced equally, which both of you desire above all else. This match is prepared to keep navigating life's ups and downs, mastering the art of working hard in their respective fields and playing harder once the day is done, affording each other the space and closeness you crave in a relationship.You are both committed to living luxuriously but not irresponsibly, and that shared ethos affords you a very harmonious life where you are secure and rarely wanting for anything more. Your relationship is involved in a lifelong dance of playfulness, flirtation and romance, wanting to maintain the union by any and all means necessary - whether that is a nice home cooked meal or a trip to Paris to revisit where you fell in love.Ultimately, this pairing is an example of two like-minded, intellectual, caring and peace-loving signs come together - a great match!