#socially acceptable abuse
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sparklecryptid · 8 months ago
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Look, I think we can all agree with the fact that abuse thrives in darkness. So explain to me why a 21 year old used the word pdfile and pronounce it exactly like that when we were talking about child abuse. Censoring the word does nothing. It literally took me several seconds to understand what she was saying. Clear communication is vital when someone comes or tries to come forward. It can be the difference between them feeling seen and heard and refusing to divulge anything. When you censor words like that in real life there can be consequences because you are obscuring information and hurting communication. Use the proper words. And if they make you so uncomfortable you can’t use them then maybe you shouldn’t be having a conversation that requires use of those words.
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raindrvq · 6 months ago
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happy halloween tumblr 🎃👻🦇 do u like my costume
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added the tiktok bc im so bad at taking photos so. stalk me idc lmao
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fabiotheguitar · 9 months ago
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saw tags on @lottieurl ‘s post and now I find myself also asking the question what does saira think about gay marriage. she hates straight marriage because of its patriarchal origins and family trauma ofc… does it extend to gay marriage? is she talking about the Islamic concept of marriage or the social/economic model of marriage? does she distinguish between the two? does she know that there are imams who do gay marriages? does she know she wants to get gay married? to amin-
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swiftfootedachilles · 1 year ago
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trevor saying "this is about you loving all the attention" ........uh. well yeah obviously...... did you miss the part where ian was abused and neglected growing up? do you expect him to hate the attention he got? i need you to be so fr trevor
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draconicace · 9 days ago
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i can't say this to my mom because she gives me rides and i can't afford to piss her off. but considering my brother (allegedly) stole from her and she loves stealing from me, it must be fucking hereditary
also don't read the tags if you're a worrier. it sounds bad and it is bad and life is bad for me right now. but causing people to worry over me isn't going to help
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vally-vall-vall · 5 months ago
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So, like, I'm really happy that autism has been getting quickly destigmatised in the past ten to fifteen years and while there's still a long way to go, I'm happy that it's being accepted and normalised by more and more people every day. But also can we get a move on with it? Because yeah, sure, having special interests is seen as normal and acceptable now, but only when it's "normal" stuff like crocheting, baking or the infamous trains. I wanna be able to tell people that my special interest is long-term psychological and physical consequences of drug addiction (specifically opiate-based drugs) without them looking at me like I grew the second head. Please. I don't wanna have to pretend that my primary special interest is Starcraft and comics
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sndwave · 23 days ago
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only just now learned that "delayed sleep phase disorder" is a thing and on one hand yeah cool to acknowledge its a Real Thing but also (at least at my level of it, where its a Consistent Schedule just not "normal") its only a "disorder" by virtue of clashing with social norms. literally theres a fuckin mayo clinic page on it and "treatments" is entirely about forcing yourself to a morning people schedule
ive spent years and years trying that lol and even allowing myself waking up at noon im still dead tired. a week and a half on the 3rd shift going to *bed* at 8am and suddenly i have more energy than ive had in years and dont need 4 alarms on my phone to get out of bed, and i can consistently go to bed at the same time instead of accidentally staying up four hours late
but its a Disorder, i guess 🤷
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gardenofkore · 8 months ago
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Not only are children, especially boys, employed at a very early age in all the trades I have mentioned, but young boys from fourteen to sixteen perform, as I have said, in the mines and elsewhere an incredible amount of the crude, rough work of the community. I remember, one day in Palermo, seeing, for the first time in my life, boys, who were certainly not more than fourteen years of age, engaged in carrying on their backs earth from a cellar that was being excavated for a building. Men did the work of digging, but the mere drudgery of carrying the earth from the bottom of the excavation to the surface was performed by these boys. It was not simply the fact that mere children were engaged in this heavy work which impressed me. It was the slow, dragging steps, the fixed and unalterable expression of weariness that showed in every line of their bodies. Later I learned to recognize this as the habitual manner and expression of the carusi, which is the name that the Italians give to those boys who are employed in the sulphur mines to carry the crude ore up from the mines where it is dug and to load it into the cars by which it is conveyed to the surface.
The work in a sulphur mine is organized in many respects, I learned, like that of a coal mine. The actual work of digging the sulphur is performed by the miner, who is paid by the amount of crude ore he succeeds in getting out. He, in his turn, has a man or a boy, sometimes two or three of them, to assist him in getting the ore out of the mine to the smelter, where it is melted and refined. As I myself had had some experience as a boy in work similar to this in the mines of West Virginia, I was interested in learning all I could in regard to these boys and the conditions under which they worked.
In the case of boys employed for this work, the Sicilians have a custom of binding out their children to the miner, or picconiero, as he is called. Such a boy is then called, in the language of the country, a caruso. As a matter of fact, a picconiero who buys a boy from his parents to employ him as a caruso actually purchases a slave. The manner in which the purchase is made is as follows : In Sicily, where the masses of the people are so wretchedly poor in everything else, they are nevertheless unusually rich in children, and, as often happens, the family that has the largest number of mouths to fill has the least to put in them. It is from these families that the carusi are recruited. The father who turns his child over to a miner receives in return a sum of money in the form of a loan. The sum usually amounts to from eight to thirty dollars, according to the age of the boy, his strength and general usefulness. With the payment of this sum the child is turned over absolutely to his master. From this slavery there is no hope of freedom, because neither the parents nor the child will ever have sufficient money to repay the original loan. Strange and terrible stories are told about the way in which these boy slaves have been treated by their masters. Before coming to Sicily I had met and talked with persons who described to me the processions of half-naked boys, their bodies bowed under the heavy weight of the loads they carried, groaning and cursing as they made their way up out of the hot and sulphurous holes in the earth, carrying the ore from the mine to the smelter. All that I had heard elsewhere was confirmed later by the details furnished by official reports and special studies of conditions in the mining regions, made at different times and by different persons. In these reports I learned that the mines had been in the past the refuge of a debased and criminal population, whose vices made the bleak, sulphur-smitten region where the mines are located as much like hell as it looks. The cruelties to which the child slaves have been subjected, as related by those who have studied them, are as bad as anything that was ever reported of the cruelties of Negro slavery. These boy slaves were frequently beaten and pinched, in order to wring from their overburdened bodies the last drop of strength they had in them. When beatings did not suffice, it was the custom to singe the calves of their legs with lanterns to put them again on their feet. If they sought to escape from this slavery in flight, they were captured and beaten, sometimes even killed.
As they climbed out of the hot and poisonous atmosphere of the mines their bodies, naked to the waist and dripping with sweat, were chilled by the cold draughts in the corridors leading out of the mines, and this sudden transition was the frequent cause of pneumonia and tuberculosis. In former years children of six and seven years of age were employed at these crushing and terrible tasks. Under the heavy burdens (averaging about forty pounds) they were compelled to carry, they often became deformed, and the number of cases of curvature of the spine and deformations of the bones of the chest reported was very large. More than that, these children were frequently made the victims of the lust and unnatural vices of their masters. It is not surprising, therefore, that they early gained the appearance of gray old men, and that it has become a common saying that a caruso rarely reaches the age of twentyfive.
It was with something of all this in my mind that I set out from Palermo a little before daylight one morning in September to visit the mines at Campofranco, on the southern side of the island, in the neighbourhood of Girgenti.
[…]
The mines at Campofranco are on the slope of the mountain, just above the railway station. A mile or more across the great empty valley, high up on the slope of the opposite mountain, is the village from which the mines get their name, a little cluster of low stone and cement buildings, clinging to the mountainside as if they were in imminent danger of slipping into the valley below. […]
It was at the mouth of one of these entrances to the mines that I got my first definite notion of what sulphur miners look like — those unfortunate creatures who wear out their lives amid the poisonous fumes and the furnace heat of these underground hells. There was a rumble of a car, and presently a man, almost stark naked, stepped out of the dark passageway. He was worn, haggard, and gray, and his skin had a peculiar grayish-white tinge. He spoke in a husky whisper, but I do not know whether that is one of the characteristic effects of the work in the mines or not. I was told that, in addition to other dangers, the sulphur has a bad effect upon the lungs. It was explained to me that the sulphur dust gets into the lungs and clogs them up, and that is what accounts for the groans of the carusi, so frequently spoken of, when they are tugging up the steep and winding passageways with the heavy burdens of crude ore on their backs.
It had been many years since I had been in a mine, but as I entered the dark, damp gallery and felt the sudden underground chill, the memories of my early experiences all came back to me. As we got farther into the mine, however, the air seemed to grow warmer. Suddenly a door at the side of the gallery opened; a blast of hot air, like that from a furnace, burst out into the corridor, and another of those half-naked men, dripping with perspiration, stepped out.
We passed at intervals along the main corridor a number of these doors which, as I discovered, led down into parts of the mine where the men were at work. It seemed incredible to me that any one could live and work in such heat, but I had come there to see what a sulphur mine was like, so I determined to try the experiment.
The side passage which I entered was, in fact, little more than a burrow, twisting and winding its way, but going constantly deeper and deeper into the dark depths of the earth. I had known what it was to work deep down under the earth, but I never before so thoroughly realized what it meant to be in the bowels of the earth as I did while I was groping my way through the dark and winding passages of this sulphur mine.
It is down at the bottom of these holes, and in this steaming atmosphere, that the miners work. They loosen the ore from the walls of the seams in which it is found, and then it is carried up out of these holes in sacks by the carusi.
In the mine which I visited the work of getting the ore to the surface was performed in a modern and comparatively humane way.
It was simply necessary to carry the ore from the different points where it is mined to the car, by which it is then transported to the smelter. In those mines, however, where the work is still carried on in the old, traditional fashion, which has been in vogue as far back as any one can remember, all the ore is carried on the backs of boys. In cases where the mine descended to the depth of two, three, or four hundred feet, the task of carrying these loads of ore to the surface is simply heartbreaking. I can well understand that persons who have seen conditions at the worst should speak of the children who have been condemned to this slavery as the most unhappy creatures on earth. From all that I can learn, however, the conditions have changed for the better in recent years. In 1902 a law was passed which forbade the employment of children under thirteen years in underground work, and to this was added, a little later, a provision which forbade, after 1905, the employment of children under fifteen in the mines.
So far as I am able to say, this provision was carried out in the mine I visited, for I did not see children at work anywhere inside the mine. I saw a number of the poor little creatures at work in the dumps outside the mine, however. They were carrying refuse ore in bags on their backs, throwing it on screens, and then loading the finer particles back into the cars. Once having seen these gangs of boys at work, I could never mistake their slow, dragging movements and the expression of dull despair upon their faces.
It is said that the employment of boys in the sulphur mines is decreasing. According to law, the employment of children under fifteen years of age has been forbidden since 1905. As is well known, however, in Italy as in America, it is much easier to make laws than to enforce them. This is especially true in Sicily. The only figures which I have been able to obtain upon the subject show that from 1880 to 1898 there was an enormous increase in the number of children employed in and about the mines. In 1880 there were 2,419 children under fifteen years working there, among whom were eight girls. Of this number 88 were seven and 163 were eight years of age, while 12 per cent, of the whole number were under nine years of age. In 1898, however, the number of children under fifteen years of age was 7,032, of whom 5,232 were at work inside the mines. At this time the Government had already attempted to put some restrictions on the employment of children in the mines, but the age limit had not been fixed as high as fifteen years.
The sulphur mines are located on the southern slopes of the mountains that cross Sicily from east to west. About ten miles below Campofranco the two branches of the railway, one running directly south from Roccapalumba, and the other running southwest from Caltanisetta, come together a few miles above Girgenti. On the slopes of the broad valleys through which these two branches of the railway run are located nearly all the sulphur mines in Sicily. From these mines, which furnish something like 70 per cent, of the world's supply of sulphur, a constant stream of this yellow ore flows down to the sea at the port of Girgenti.
After leaving Campofranco I travelled through this whole region. In many places the mountain slopes are fairly honeycombed with holes where the miners in years past have dug their way into the mountain in search of the precious yellow mineral. For many miles in every direction the vegetation has been blasted by the poisonous smoke and vapours from the smelters, and the whole country has a blotched and scrofulous appearance which is depressing to look upon, particularly when one considers the amount of misery and the number of human lives it has cost to create this condition. ' I have never in my life seen any place that seemed to come so near meeting the description of the "abomination of desolation" referred to in the Bible. There is even a certain grandeur in the desolation of this country which looks as if the curse of God rested upon it I am not prepared just now to say to what extent I believe in a physical hell in the next world, but a sulphur mine in Sicily is about the nearest thing to hell that lexpect to see in this life. As I have already said, however, there are indications that in the sulphur mines, as elsewhere in Sicily, the situation of the man farthest down is improving. I pray God that it is so, for I could not picture an existence more miserable than the slow torture of this crushing labour in the hot and poisonous air of these sulphur mines.
Let me say also that I came away from the sulphur mines and from Sicily with a very much better opinion of the people than when I entered. I went to Italy with the notion that the Sicilians were a race of brigands, a sullen and irritable people who were disposed at any moment to be swept off their feet by violent and murderous passions. I came away with the feeling that, whatever might be the faults of the masses of the people, they were, at the very least, more sinned against than sinning, and that they deserve the sympathy rather than the condemnation of the world.
The truth is that, as far as my personal experience goes, I was never treated more kindly in my whole life than I was the day when, coming as a stranger, without an introduction of any kind, I ventured to visit the region which has the reputation of being the most wicked, and is certainly the most unfortunate, in Europe. I mean the region around and north of Girgenti, which is the seat at once of the sulphur mines and the Mafia.
If any one had told me before I went to Sicily that I would be willing to intrust my life to Sicilians away down in the darkness of a sulphur mine, I should have believed that such a person had lost his mind. I had read and heard so much of murders of the Mafia in Sicily, that for a long time I had had a horror of the name of Sicilians; but when I came in contact with them, before I knew it, I found myself trusting them absolutely to such an extent that I willingly followed them into the bowels of the earth; into a hot, narrow, dark sulphur mine where, without a moment's warning, they might have demanded my life or held me, if they cared to, for a ransom. Nothing of this kind occurred; on the other hand, I repeat, every Sicilian with whom I came in contact in the sulphur mine treated me in the most kindly manner, and I came away from their country having the highest respect for them.
I did not meet, while I was there, a single person, from the superintendent to the lowest labourer at the mines, who did not seem, not only willing, but even anxious, to assist me to see and learn everything I wanted to know. What is more, Campofranco was the only place in Europe where I met men who refused to accept money for a service rendered me.
Washington Booker T., The man farthest down; a record of observation and study in Europe (1912), p. 200-216
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dykethang · 1 year ago
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one of my worst traits is that i believe fully that if i just think about it really hard i could make myself not bipolar. sheer force of will
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milkymooshi · 1 year ago
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Just to be clear, I don’t desire gotham characters in an “I can fix them they’re just a cutie patootie <3” way. I desire them in an “I will enable all your bad behavior for a shred of attention” way.
I don’t want anyone to misunderstand me when I say that I desire Oswald carnally with my teeth bared, but not biting.
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amorremanet · 2 years ago
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Happy Monday, this Barbie is seething in her corner because her fellow westerners insist on being ignorant jackasses about going “wAaAaAH, BuUuUuUuT iT’S iIiIiIiNcEsT!!!!1” with regard to Chengxian/Xiancheng, a ship that:
1. literally is not, by any definition, incest;
2. hugely affects the plot of its story in several ways that are directly related to it NOT being incest;
and 3. has several explanations about why it IS *NOT* incest out there, across multiple platforms, written by fans who actually know Chinese, don’t have to engage with the text exclusively in translation, and have a much stronger understanding of the cultural normas and nuances at play in this relationship than us westerners, who can read and learn and try to do better about checking ourselves while engaging with CN texts, but will likely always be, to some extent, projecting western ideas onto them
but………y’know, sure, whatever. If it makes you happy to completely flatten a deeply complex and nuanced relationship into “everything about them is Normal Sibling Behavior and that’s literally all it will ever be,” despite both CN fans explaining why that’s wrong and the text itself offering multiple examples to the contrary, then hey, be my guest (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧
#opinions for ts#wank for ts#venting for ts#disclaimer: i fully endorse blocking anyone you want to block; i'm just venting abt people in mdzs/cql fandom doing so for reasons that are#at BEST based in serious cultural ignorance & projecting western ideas/definitions onto chinese media & seriously the puritanical#pearl-clutching of it all? mn. FAR too much. BUT WITH THAT BEING SAID:#mine: text#fandom shenanigans#mdzs#chengxian#imagine saying with your whole chest that you block people who 'tag [your] posts featuring siblings as incest ships'#about a relationship that would genuinely be more socially acceptable in its own context if it WERE incest#because if it WERE incest then they would have 1.000% more of an excuse to be as obsessed with each other as they are#imagine calling yourself a jiang cheng stan & not understanding that: 1. he is genuinely obsessed with wwx to a degree that FAR EXCEEDS wha#is generally considered 'typical' or 'normal' for actual brothers (be they biological adopted sworn or martial); 2. jc gives wwx WAY more#latitude than actual blood family would get if they were doing even a fraction of what wwx does during his yllz arc; 3. jiang cheng's life#would be SIGNIFICANTLY FUCKING EASIER on *SEVERAL* counts if wwx were actually his brother—something jc COULD HAVE MADE HAPPEN with a sworn#brother ceremony but he just?? didn't?? felt it wasn't necessary maybe?? possibly internalized some of yzy's abuser logic about how wwx was#always showing him up & a Threat to him?? A LOT OF REASONS PROBABLY; MY MAN IS COMPLICATED—but doing said ceremony would've made jc's life#SO much easier bc he would've had an actual socially acceptable reason to treat wwx the way he does (& not to sound like enoby dark'ness#dementia raven way but: a/n—if u think either of them treats the other like Normal Brothers GET DA HELL OUTTA HERE. literally they only act#like Normal Siblings if your standards are the so-called 'erotic codependence' of Sam & Dean Winchester or literal canonical sibling-fucker#Cersei & Jaime Lannister………but lol ok sure jc's behavior toward wwx is TOTALLY just LiTtLe BrOtHeR SyNdRoMe!!!1); & 4. within the context o#the narrative? lmao 'normal' brothers do not sacrifice themselves for each other like jc does for wwx (& vice versa). 'normal' brothers in#mdzs spend 10+ years plotting an elaborate baroque revenge scheme to completely ruin a sworn brother's life bc he killed the bio-bro & also#stole nmj's filial vengeance kill by saving nmj from wen ruohan. 'normal' brothers judge each other's choices in precious meow-meows like#'i don't mind you being gay but does it have to be THIS guy?' 'normal' brothers send their bros to qiongxi pass knowing that Some Absolute#Fuckshit will likely ensue. like?? nowhere in the text of the novel do ANY of the 'normal' brother pairs behave ANYTHING like chengxian#i've said it elsewhere but nhs looks at chengxian like 'damn that's intense. can't relate. glad it's not me.' grigor mothman (he who gave u#cersei & jaime—literal twins!—fucking in a church next to their dead teenage son's corpse while she's menstruating) looks at xcx & goes
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kindnessoverperfection · 2 years ago
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I can't stand being open about negative emotions, but covering them up feels like a fucking knife to the chest.
I think it's because the system is autistic and misses social cues / boundaries, so Grey has overshared and accidentally put too much on people in the past.
And from a combination of autism trauma + abuse & us not actually knowing the line between healthy sharing/support and Too Much, my brain processed it as "if you admit you're having a hard time or ask for support, they won't love you"
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karmaphone · 2 years ago
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also I fully believe if the Menendez trial(s) happened today it would have swung in the brothers' favor for two distinct reasons: 1) metoo means people are way more willing to believe survivors of sexual assault, including boys and men and 2) there would have been so much more public backlash as a result of disallowing making any part of their abuse part of their defense in the second trial they would have had to reverse it, if it was even attempted at all
#ask to tag#like the second trial is just so fucking BONKERS to me holy fuck#how do you lose a case then go 'well it was your good defense actually. that's not allowed' like holy FUCK#a hung case is still considered lost btw#bc the prosecution failed to prosecute#also sidenote: I don't fuck with you if you don't believe them#how can you watch the documentary that Erik narrated from prison and not believe it holy fuck#like. we got a hung jury IN THE NINETIES. that was 30 years ago. unwind 30 years of progress against social stigma in your mind. there was#still enough evidence for reasonable doubt with all of that bias. imagine if it had been tried today!!!!!!#30+ years of them in prison for no fucking reason!!!! I mean they#probably would have gotten out on time served if they got convicted of voluntary manslaughter!!!#to paraphrase the defense is the only good abuse victim a dead one? we've been having this (lack of) conversation about how acceptable it is#for abuse victims and survivors to Fight Back for decades. now look at amber heard. holy fuck#I just. I think about it a lot sometimes#do you think the jury for the second trial after they convicted found the evidence from the first trial and would have changed their minds?#because they convicted based on evidence presented and they weren't allowed to present anything to do with the abuse at ALL#like. none of the cousins who said that they told them they were being touched. none of the family who saw suspicious things. none of the#coaches and teachers who never saw any affection from their parents only punishment#I just. the second trial is actually disgusting to me lmfao
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