#soccer cop

[existingingrey]

Love at first sight for our Seoul rat

Mianhada Sangcheol-ah but "trust at first sight" is not a thing.

백설공주에게 죽음을 expanded version.

[brinnanza]

"this unhoused person refused my leftover car burger so they're not really hungry" bro I'm not eating your stank burger either I don't know how to tell you this but being alive costs money

[ripmyselfxd]

J.F - (Joao Felix) PT. 2

Warnings- Stalking, blood, scary Joao, swearing, knife play, hide and seek, kind of a happy ending…

PART 1:

https://www.tumblr.com/ripmyselfxd/767901801435578368/jf-joao-felix?source=share

You were shocked, how could Joao do this- to you! “Joao,” Your voice was shaky “You need to stop.” Joao smiled, leaning close and whispering into your ear “Oh baby, I’m just getting started.” He sly backed away still smiling, he then put the knife that he carved his initials into your skin on your kitchen counter, then he left. “I’ll be back.” He said in a sing-song voice.

The next couple days you stayed cooped up in your apartment watching happy movies, so you wouldn’t think about what happened with Joao. It was Wednesday night and you fell asleep on the couch, and forgetting to lock the door. Joao had been watching- no, stalking you, waiting for the perfect moment to strike. And this was it. Joao sneakily entered your apartment, careful not to wake you as he went to your bedroom. He searched through your drawers, your desk, your bed, anything that he could look through, he did. Once he was done going through your things he entered the living room, where you slept softly and quietly. “Oh bunny?” He called out, you woke up at the sound of his voice. You quietly, knowing that he was about 10 feet away from you, hid from him. You hid behind the couch, and every step he took towards you, you did the opposite. Slowly making your way to the kitchen. Once he turned his head away from you you ran to the door. It was locked, and your key was in the office two rooms away from your door. ‘Fuck’ you thought to yourself. You could hear his footsteps going into the bathroom, and you went back into the living room. Trying to make your way to your keys in the office room. You had keys to your door because it was an old door that didn’t close very well- keys was your only option other than getting a new door and you weren’t spending 10 grand on a new door. “Come out and play with me, kitten. I know your here somewhere…” He called from the bathroom. ‘Why is his voice this attractive?’ You thought as you crept your way through the living room into the bedroom. Once you where into your bedroom you sat up and took a break, wiping the sweat that was formed on your brow. You heard him moving again, towards the kitchen. You crouched again and kept moving forward towards the office. “Oh baby, don’t be afraid. I’ll protect you unlike other fuck-boys~” You heard a smash, a vase breaking in the kitchen, “JUST FUCKING C’MERE ALREADY!” He yelled, starting you. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have… done that.” He said, footsteps getting closer to you. You got to the office and grabbed your keys. Standing up and turning around, coming face to face with Joao. “AH!” You jumped, he smirked, “Aww, kitten. Did I scare you?” He kissed your arms where he left his initials carved into your skin from the other day. “Are you afraid?” He asked, almost as a threat. “Y-yes.” You replied with tears in your eyes. He looked up at you and wiped your tears away, “Shh, don’t cry now, bunny.” He took his knife and wiped your tears with the knife while saying, “There is nothing to be afraid of.” He pulled you into an embrace and smelled your hair, “God, you smell so good.” He groaned and pressed his body against yours. “Joao, stop~” You pushed him away but he didn’t budge.

Suddenly, 2 people came barging into the room with a police outfit on. Joao let go of you, spinning on his heels to face the men. “Drop the knife!” One of the yelled, holding a gun at him up while the other grabbed you, putting you behind the two men. “What the hell is going on?!” Joao snarled at the men, dropping his knife. The one that had pulled you away from Joao spoke up, “(Y/N is my best friend. When you came to her house that one night, she called me as soon as you left. Telling me that you’d be back. I’ve been patrolling her apartment every night since then and when I got a text from her just saying ‘x’ I knew she was in trouble. I’m a police officer if you couldn’t tell, my name is Tyler and this is my buddy, Mark. And you sir, are under arrest.” Mark grabs Joao and put him in handcuffs, leading him out of the apartment. You see Joao go into the officer’s car and Mark waiting for Tyler outside of the car. “Thank you so much, Tyler. I could have died tonight.” He smiled at you and pulled you into an embrace, “Your so welcome.” He pulled away and looked down towards the car, “I should probably go now, Mark is waiting.” He smiled once more “See you ‘round. ‘Kay?” You smiled and nodded “See ya!” He walked out, and you saw Tyler and Mark take your boyfriend to jail. A sight you thought you’d never see, but, the future changes. Very much like Joao.

[liverpool-enjoyer]

footballers reacting to a younger player calling them dad (long as hell version)

anon requested it n so it shall be!! ngl for some a the teams i simply googled "youngest player on INSERTTEAMHERE." ive never written formal fic for football so i apologize for this being iffy n also for the SHITTON of innacuracies theres bound to be. oh n also that everyone talks like a twenty year old american college student

leo:

"Thanks, dad," Warren said nonchalantly as Leo helped him up off the ground. He had stumbled a little and fell during the last part of training.

Leo only narrowed his eyes a little in response. Dad?

Poor Warren clasped a hand over his mouth, seemingly mortified. "I'm so sorry," he said, chuckling even though he didn't look like he found anything funny. "I guess I just- And then- Yeah I'll, uh, get going now." He scampered away not once looking back.

Leo got to thinking as me made his way back to the locker room. He's used to being called that; he has children of his own. But he's never considered a teammate of his as his own child. Sure, he was helpful, a mentor maybe, but fatherly wasn't how he would describe his behavior with his younger teammates.

There was only one thing to do, obviously. Ask a younger teammate.

When he got to the locker room he approached Neymar, who didn't notice him at first.

"Ney."

His friend's face brightened upon noticing Leo was there. "Yeah, what's up?" he asked, before taking a swig of water.

"Do you see me as a father figure?"

In response, Leo was met with Neymar choking and coughing. "NO, GOD NO-" he stopped to cough again and catch his breath. "WHAT GAVE YOU THAT IDEA?"

"Nothing, jeez, calm down."

---

ney:

"Woah, not like that, you could hurt yourself," Neymar told Bitshiabu. He was doing an new training excercise incorrectly, and the last thing PSG needed was a good player pulling or straining something.

Neymar took a minute to show him how to do it properly. "Thanks, dad," the seventeen year old said sarcastically. Despite the snark, he appreciated the help.

Neymar just laughed in response, but for the rest of traning the thought kept bouncing around in the back of his head. 'Dad? I was acting like a dad? Some of them see me as old enough to be their father?'

Well, he was a father, but that was different. His teammates were much older than Davi.

Oh, gosh, was he getting old?

Later in training, when he saw Leo, he grabbed the poor man by the shoulders without so much as a hello. "Leo. Do you think I'm getting old?"

In classic Leo fashion, he looked like he'd rather be anywhere than here, interacting with someone. "Well, technically we all are... You're older now than you were yesterday, so I guess you are get-"

Neymar let out an exasperated sigh, unhappy with that answer.

His next victim was Sergio, who's phone conversation he interrupted to ask him the question of the day.

"Do you think I'm getting old?"

"You interrupted my conversation with Lukita to ask me if-"

"JUST ANSWER."

"SURE, I GUESS. I DON'T CARE."

Damn. Neymar was gonna have to get hammered tonight. To prove he still has it in him.

---

milly:

"What about you, Milly? Any fun weekend plans?" Andy asked. Some of the team were talking about the plans they had for the free weekend they had coming up.

"You bet; I have a date with my new book and chamomile tea."

This earned him a few eye rolls, most noticably from Trent. "Aw, that's so boring! Robbo and I are hitting this new club Saturday night, aren't we, mate?" he reached across the kitchen island to fist bump his friend. "Surely you've got something more fun in mind."

"I might fire up the grill if the weather allows..." Milly started. "Oh, and I should probably get my car checked out; it's been making this weird noise."

"Yeah yeah, we get it, dad, you're boring."

Milly didn't hesitate. "I am nowhere near old enough to be your dad," he said with his typical snark.

"You do act like it though..." the previously quiet Alisson chimed in, peering at his friends from over his coffee mug.

"And you're no spring chicken either," Milly remarked, which shut the goalkeeper up. "Will you lot ever get bored of the 'James is old' joke?"

"Aw, don't be like that, mate," Andy said with a hearty laugh, putting an arm around Milly's neck and ruffling his hair. "You know it's just because we love you!"

Milly sighed. Yeah, he did know, he supposed.

---

kdb:

"I mean," Alvarez said between passes. "You're practically his dad."

Kevin rolled his eyes for what was probably the third time during that conversation.

"Ah, shove it, you know I'm not that old."

"It's not about age," his younger teammate responds, accepting the ball Kevin passed to him. "You're always like... I dunno, dadish."

Kevin just gave Alvarez an absolutely bewildered look. "...Are you actually saying these words?"

"I'm serious, mate! You're always, y'know, taking him out for ice cream after training, making sure he gets home safe, whatever that means-"

Kevin brought up a hand to rub his temple. "Oh my gosh, I don't see him as my kid. Can't I just be nice?"

"No."

"Shove off," Kevin said playfully.

An amused grin crossed Alvarez's face. "Speak of the devil."

Kevin turned to see Erling walking up to the pair.

"Hey guys!" Erling said with a polite wave, and Alvarez waved back.

"You need anything?" Kevin asked.

"Yeah, actually," he said, rubbing the back of his neck. "Do you think you can give me a ride home after training? Jack drove me but he had to leave early."

"Of course, no problem," he replied without hesitation, and clapped a hand on Erling's shoulder for seemingly no reason.

Erling nodded happily in response. "Thank you, dad!" he said with a bright smile, before walking away as if what he said was completely normal.

It was taking everything Alvarez had in him to not start rolling on the ground with laughter. "What was that about not being his dad?"

"Shaddup."

---

luka:

It was actually Luka who started it.

Everyone entered the locker room very happy, fresh off a 44th minute goal from Rodrygo that had earned them the lead. The young player received hugs and claps on the back from pretty much every player. The attention was well deserved; the goal was a beauty, after all.

One of the last players to congratulate him was Luka. "Good job, hijo!" he said, hugging his teammate. "You were brilliant out there!"

"Gracias, papa," Rodrygo said, casual, even though he had never called him that before. "But it wouldn't have happened if you hadn't set me up for it!"

"Aw, aren't you the sweetest," said Luka, smiling proudly as he ruffled up Rodrygo's short hair beyond repair.

Rodrygo reached up in a futile attempt to fix his hair, and even though it wasn't said out loud, he got the feeling that he could call Luka that anytime he wanted.

---

luis:

Training had long since ended, and everyone was in the locker room, gathering their belongings and talking amongst themselves.

Luis and Kauan had been making small talk, with Luis telling his youngest teammate about some of his exploits and giving him some pointers.

"Y'know," Kauan eventually said. "You kinda remind me of my dad!"

Luis immediately burst into laughter, but it was out of genuine joy rather than condescension.

"Oh yeah?" he asked, not bothering to wait for an answer. "I'm not that old, kiddo. Now would your dad do THIS?"

Before his teammate could respond, Luis had taken Kauan into a light, non-painful chokehold n given him the strongest noogie he could muster, sending Kauan into a fit of giggling.

When Luis had mercy on the kid and let him go, Kauan needed a minute to catch his breath and compose himself.

Kuan gave Luis a sly grin. "Y'know, my dad does that to me all the time!"

"Damnit."

---

lewa:

It wasn't Gavi's day. Or his week, and it wasn't shaping out to be his month, for that matter.

He didn't know what was wrong; he just wasn't playing like his normal self these past few games. But the crushing blow was this game in particular, when he was subbed off in the first half due to his performance.

The atmosphere in the locker room after the game was still positive, however, as they had won. But Gavi wasn't participating in the celebrating and joking. He had changed and was just sitting by his locker, just... thinking. He hated sulking like this. He felt like he was being dramatic. Maybe he should go.

He didn't notice someone had approached him until he heard his voice.

"Gavi?" Robert asked, voice laced with concern. "What're you doing here all by yourself?"

The younger player just shrugged, blinking away tears that definitely weren't forming.

"May I?" Robert asked, gesturing to the spot next to Gavi on the bench.

Gavi just muttered a quiet "yeah," and Robert sat closely next to him.

Robert took a good look at Gavi, and for a moment he was reminded of his girls.

"You don't seem to be too happy with yourself," the man said.

"Can you blame me?" Gavi asked, trying not to sound sarcastic.

"Well, I understand. But I don't think you should be so hard on yourself," he put an arm around the young player. "You're talented, Gavi, and you're only going to get better from here. You just had a few rough weeks; it's not permanent. And I'm saying that because I really believe it." He smiled warmly at the young man.

Gavi would be lying if he said he didn't feel just a little bit better. He found himself resting his head on the other's shoulder.

"Thank you, dad. I mean- shit, I-"

Robert just chuckled in response. "It's ok, really, I'm honored," he said, holding the other just a little tighter.

---

sergio:

"Hey, dad? Do you-" Vini shut his mouth quickly after he realized what he had just said.

Sergio was on him before the young player could even apologize. "I'm sorry?" he asked, feeling kind enough to at least give the young player a chance to explain himself.

"I don't know, I guess I just got my wires crossed, or something-"

"I thought so. Just don't let it happen again," Sergio said, sounding less angry and more just... irritated. And with that, he left.

Much later in the day, Sergio found himself at Luka's place eating dinner with his teammate, as was pretty much tradition after training.

"Y'know," the team captain said between bites of what Luka made him. "Those kids of ours are really improving. I mean, they were always talented but, y'know..."

Luka just smiled and kept his thoughts to himself. He knew if he made mention of Sergio referring to the young players as their kids, he'd deny it faster than you could say Madrid.

---

pep:

"Don't overwork yourself, Cole, I don't want you getting hurt," Pep said to the young player. It was Cole's first training back after recovering from an injury, so he was prone to hurting himself again.

"Sure thing, dad," Cole said sarcastically.

Pep simply blinked at the young man. He had been managing a long time and had been called many things by all his players over the years. But this was definitely a first for "dad."

After a few seconds of silence, Cole could tell that his attempt at a joke was not well received. He simply stared at the man staring back at him, waiting for whatever stupid prize awaited, and kind of hoping he would just die right now.

"Laps."

Cole's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "Hm?"

"Laps."

"Uh... don't you think that's too exerting? You just said I should take it e-"

"Laps!"

And without another word, Cole took off running. It wasn't until three laps in that he realized he never asked how many of these things he should do.

Shit.

---

klopp:

"We've won our last five matches," Darwin said.

"And it's raining outside, so traning will be, uh... Not as good," chimed in Harvey.

"And we promise to train extra hard tomorrow! Don't we, lads?" Cody asked, turning to his teammates, who nodded furiously in response.

"I still don't know if you can afford to miss it; training every day is important," Jurgen told the boys. There was a new movie out that the boys wanted to forego traning to go and see. Rather than sending one person to him to be The Negotiator, the boys thought it was better to approach him with their request all at once.

"But papaaaaaa!!" damn near all of the teammates chimed at once.

Jurgen clenched his expensive-ass teeth. These boys always knew how to get to him. He loved being reminded that they loved him and saw them as a father, as someone to be trusted and depended upon. He couldn't even remember when they started calling him that.

He loud out a long, overly-dramatic sigh.

"Fine."

In return, he received a chorus of cheers. An onlooker would think these boys just watched their teammate win them a penalty shootout.

In no time at all he was swarmed with hugs and "thank you, papa"s from too many of the boys to count.

The boys all stopped at the door when they saw their gaffer wasn't following them.

"Aren't you coming?" Alisson asked, eyes kind and welcoming.

"Do you want me to?" questioned Jurgen, looking at his boys' faces for signs of approval. Most of them just rolled their eyes at the suggestion that they didn't want him to join them.

Alisson approached him, took him by the arm, and dragged him to the door himself, Jurgen laughing while following him.

"Of course we do, papa."

[kuuchuuburanko]

but if I say 'kaiser would rather continue the cycle of abuse than get therapy' I'd be jumped so I won't say that someone else said that not me tho

[boygirlctommy]

QOTD: Have you ever seen a bear in person? Where were you? Is there a story to go with it?

i live in the woods, i see bears all the time! when i was a kid, my gym teacher chased a bear off the soccer field and into the woods. my whole class assumed she was going to die and we mourned her (it was only her first day working at our school lol) she was in fact fine but i still dont know WHY she thought that was a good plan

[aro-screams-into-the-void]

He just wants to be loved!!

[muirneach]

moms love to turn a funny story into a lecture. oh my god girl take a joke

[sukirichi]

i’m so normal about aiku haha

[nando161mando]

His politics are absolutely suspect. Cops get called worse than that every day.

[silverysnake]

Tagged by @pumpking64 thank you so much!!

Share your wallpaper: It‘s THIS art by @neverland-in-space (not gonna put it here bc I don‘t wanna repost)

The last song you listened to: I have a playlist with my favourite songs from this years eurovision that‘s just on repeat the whole time so I‘m gonna put the six songs that are in it here: Cha Cha Cha by Käärijä (Finland), Queen of Kings by Alessandra (Norway), Promise by Voyager (Australia), Blood & Glitter by Lord Of The Lost (Germany), Who the Hell Is Edgar? by TEYA and SALENA (Austria), Carpe Diem by Joker Out (Slovenia). Cha Cha Cha and Queen of Kings are definitely the two I‘ve listened to the most tbh bc I keep putting them on repeat until I remember that I could listen to some of the other songs too.

Currently reading: Started rereading Good Omens for idk the sixth or seventh time now and spatort fics of course

Last Movie: Stereo. Please don‘t ask me what it was about it was some weird german movie I found in the depths of netflix, the only thing I know for sure is that there was a ghost that was played by Moritz Bleibtreu. The last movie I‘ve seen in the cinema was the new Guardians of the Galaxy which made me cry my eyes out.

Craving: Some coffee and for my schürk/ross wg fic to finish itself bc I can‘t find my motivation

What are you wearing right now: cargo-pants and a batman-shirt

How tall are you: 173 so pretty average haha

Piercings: Had earrings since I was six

Tattoos: None, but I wanna get one soon

Glasses? Contacts?: Nope

Last drink: Water. Stay hydrated guys!

Last show: ‚last‘ ist good, I‘m watching seven shows rn (and yes I‘m gonna elaborate on that): 1) Spatort, 2) Soko Leipzig, 3) Polizeiruf Swiecko (the sad gay german cop shows, no one should be surprised by this), 4) Magicians with some friends (how does this show have so much plot I still don‘t understand?!), 5) Dark (every time when I say „hey this would be a funny thing to reveal but actually please don‘t i don‘t want the situation to get worse“ that exact thing is revealed like in the next one to three episodes and by now I‘m just horrified by everything), 6) Mord mit Aussicht (my bestie pressured me for weeks until I gave in and honestly it‘s pretty entertaining and another german cop show), 7) Supernatural bc for some reason I thought that is a good idea

Last thing you ate: some bread for breakfast

Favourite colour: Purple and green :)

Current obsession: The already mentioned sad gay german cop shows

Unrelated obsession: Norse Mythology

Any pets: Nope, but my parents have two cats and I‘ve missed them every day since I moved out

Do you have a crush on anyone: Nope

Favourite fictional character: It‘s been Loki for years so I guess he deserves to be on here (not just the Marvel version but in general) and I guess currently it‘s Adam Schürk haha

The last place you traveled: Spent a week in a village near Burg (bei Magdeburg) last month :)

Tagging: @shadow-of-a-cloud @homoromoacecase @neverland-in-space @lyxchen @anotherobsessedfangirl @schuerk-wie-schurke @ancient-namess and anyone else who wants to do this :)

[paopuofhearts]

Call me Straight but this was the only thing I cared about at Pride today.

[selamat-linting]

bland milquetoast take here but i think casinos should be even more hated. like, i dont hate the people getting roped into it, i know how life-ruining yet addictive gambling is, i have sympathy for them. but fuck everyone and everything that enabled gambling as a business and a culture. ESPECIALLY gacha and lootboxes, its predatory to kids and young people!

[batshit-auspol]

For those that aren't in Australia right now, we have the funniest scandal going on.

Firstly let us introduce you to the eye of the storm: Sam Kerr. Sam is a women's soccer player who has in the last year become one of the most famous and beloved athletes in Australia. Captain of the women's national team, Sam became something of a cult figure after the last Women's Soccer World Cup became a complete unpredicted sensation in Australia, with the whole country getting behind the team.

Sam, up until now, has had probably one of the most squeaky clean images in sport. Generally in Australia it is not uncommon for our sports stars to be caught up in scandals involving drugs:

violence:

drinking their own urine:

or if you're cricket legend Shane Warne, probably all three at once.

Contrasting all this, Sam's image as the squeaky clean saviour for sport made it all the more shocking this last week, when it was announced that Kerr was to face trial after having been charged by the UK police of a "racially aggravated offence" involving a taxi driver.

This was shocking news. Nobody knew what to make of it. Sam was a model for young girls everywhere and a national treasure. "This is why we can't have nice things" screamed the nation. It seemed like all hope was lost.

That is, until, yesterday, when the UK police finally revealed the full details of the case, in which Sam Kerr, sporting legend, was arrested for vomiting in a cab, and then telling an intervening police officer that he was a “stupid white bastard”.

Now we probably don't need to point out that in Australia, vomiting in a taxi and then calling a cop a bastard is about as close to a national culture as we have.

You could not have come up with a better headline to make someone a national hero.

Needless to say, Sam in now being hailed down under as the greatest legend that ever lived, and a petition has already been started to have her picture added to the $5 note.

The tide has swung so far that not one, but TWO, state Premiers have spoken out in support of Kerr, and the Prime Minister has even gone on the record describing her as "a delight".

And so ends the racial abuse saga of our greatest sports hero of all time, and the very first reverse milkshake duck to ever exist.

[aromanticannibal]

bro I had to call the damn cops bc I was hearing screams and it was absolute morons being too invested in soccer

[fissionmate]

For those not in the know, Sam Kerr, the captain of the Matildas (Australia’s women’s soccer team) and arguably the people’s princess of Australia was charged with the racially aggravated harassment of a police officer in Britain. Everyone was extremely disappointed and shocked, until it was revealed that said “racially aggravated harassment” was her calling the cop a “stupid white bastard”.

Aussie twitter is currently losing its shit, she could actually face jail time over this, and if she faces any punishment or imprisonment over this there have been calls to use this as justification for becoming a republic.