#so... so I can't tell if they're so stupid they literally need medical care because they're non fucking functional with their stupid

[medicinemane]

You know, I'm never letting those fucking cops who parked their car with a lady in it on the train tracks and it got hit by a train live that down (thankfully she lived)

Anytime I see train tracks I tell whoever's with me that they need to pull over to the perfect parking spot, that they need to think like a cop

I will never stop making fun of them for it, not even because it's funny, but because fuck them, they were so stupid they nearly killed someone and it's only good fortune that saved her from them. I legitimately don't know how they manage to remember to breath while being that stupid

[karinadele]

Continuation of:

I'm just too lazy to throw them into proper paragraphs and I'm also not sure which way I want to develop the story, so it gets thrown in here.

• You make your way down to the basement garage, heading to your parking spot where Ratchet is. After having a shower and shoving down some leftovers, you finally feel more like a human being.

• "Ratchet!" You exclaim. "Hey I got a question for you..." You give his hood a light pat. "Have you had anything to eat yet? Or uhh.. do you guys even eat?" You're not sure if Cybertronians need to eat, or fuel, or whatever, but if they're sentient, they must need something to sustain energy right?

• You get a grumble back. "No. There wasn't enough time to grab energon from the base when we left. But I'll be fine without it."

• "Energon?" you ask. "Is that what you guys eat?"

• His alt mode shifts a little. "Yes. We consume energon as our fuel and as what you guys would call it, our life blood."

• Hmm. okay. Seems it's like the equivalent of water if its both consumed and in their veins- whatever veins they have. "Where do we get this energon thing?"

• "Energon deposits have been located all over your planet."

• You're not convinced that he can survive without it. Perhaps they don't need to eat as often as humans, but eventually he will need it. And you'd be damned if you start dealing with a suicidal anorexic space robot. "Where do we get them?"

• He drives forward a bit, causing you to jolt back and flinch a bit. "You think it's that easy?! Energon deposits are terribly difficult to locate, especially now that the Decepticons have decided to make earth their playground. And besides, it needs to be refined and processed before it can be consumed.

• You hummed for a second, not liking his attitude toward all of this. "Well, if it's on earth, there's no reason we can't try to get some." You tell him as you pick away at a chunk of dried lip.

• If he had the space to transform, he most definitely would have. "You?! You want to mine energon?!" He scoffs. "Hah! That's ridiculous! Energon is toxic to humans!"

hdfjghsgsj why am i writing it like this

• You argue with him back and forth until he agrees to run a scan of the local area, no doubt to get you to shut up. To both of your surprises, there seems to be a faint reserve of it by the mountain up north. Pays to live in the middle of no where you guess. You hop into his alt mode and both of you head off to do a recon. He'd mention energon was toxic to humans, but you'd be damned if you didn't at least try.

• The coast is clear. No one comes out here anyways. Ratchet is scouting the perimeter as you- against your better judgement and warning, with the lack of care you have for yourself and nothing but sheer will of refusing to let someone die on your watch, you head on into the mines. You're greeted with a cavern of beautiful glowing blue crystals. They have a slight translucence to them, and glow faintly. Something about the pulsing light made you reach out to them. The warning Ratchet gave you has long escaped from your smooth brain.

• On contact, as expected, you felt a weak electric shock run a surge through you. You force your eyes shut and blink a couple times to try to ease the nausea and give your hand a shake. Because you're stupid, you try to break a chunk of it off, unsuccessfully not to your surprise. You whip out the blade that's on your keychain, and give it a little scrape. Fluffy light blue white powder falls into your hands. And either because you just came back from doing lines or because you really are dumb, (its both) you sniff some up your nostrils without having any second thought.

• Honestly? You expected worst. Maybe like instant death. But it really feels no different than literally having ground glass up your nose. And you don't feel any different, maybe a little more energetic, but that's definitely placebo.

• Ratchet's scanner picks up a foreign detection of energy, so he picks up his pace and heads towards into the cave. What he finds, is a stupid human standing in front of an energon crystal with her palm out almost cupping the crystal. Without a thought, he lunges forward to pull her away, all the while screaming "What in Primus' name are you doing?!" and "Frag! What is wrong with you?!" "Did you touch it?!" amongst others.

• How do you tell him you not only touched it, but snorted it like the missing braincell drug addict you are? I mean, you're fine so you can probably skip it? You tell him you're fine, but he doesn't buy it. He picked up a weird energon energy that he's never seen before, his scanner can't even identify it. And all of it is pointing to you. Oookay. Maybe you can't skip it afterall.

--------

extra gurgles: MC seemed to have had contact with ore 13 and some sort of energon mutation. I think I want to make her carry a bit of true energon? i need to connect her to cybertron somehow HAAHAHAHAH

I also wanted to write a deviation version where mc is normal and just joins the team and do shit?? but thats so plain??

[perryabbott]

ben being the "only adult" hasn't actually mattered since the crash. it was subtle at first but then laura lee essentially tells him to shut the fuck up and the energy has a noticeable shift. there's a similar moment in 1.10 and all of that just solidifies it for ben: his "authority" means nothing out here. i do personally think some of it stems from the loss of his leg and his having to rely on the girls (i don't think any of them recognize that/outwardly think bad about him because of his disability, but it's a survival situation and it's impossible to not have that influence so much of their dynamics) but regardless, "adult" is a qualifier that's been meaningless for months now. we never really see ben have any interactions with the kids besides nat and travis (no, i will not be mentioning misty since she assaulted him, thanks!) like. he has spent his entire life being Othered. and he is still Other out here. because of his age. his gender. his disability. he is so completely and utterly alone. he is in the process of a mental breakdown. i truly don't understand how people are reading these scenes with paul as "flashbacks" or acting like they're willing at this point and not the product of his incredibly fragile mindset. paul's home was the cabin in 206. he could still hear the screaming. his mind is breaking down. no, his "gay fantasies" were not more important than shauna. it's a psychotic break. did no one see him almost pass out? (he's consistently had physical reactions to blood/injury. btw) does no one remember he didn't eat jackie, and probably hasn't eaten much since then?

does no one realize he can't exactly kneel in front of shauna and do anything meaningful because he's disabled?

but really, what can he even do? he isn't a "health teacher." i'm going to assume a lot of the people acting as if he has some kind of educational qualifications aren't american. i feel like it's pretty common in america for "health class" to be taught by a PE teacher/coach with no background in it who just plays video and reads out of a book. he doesn't have a medical history. he literally says, "i just press play on a video." no, misty and akilah aren't trained, but misty clearly paid attention in class and akilah's sister had given birth. they do know more than ben.

and no, ben didn't look at shauna and go, "that's gross." the blatant homo- (and transphobia) in acting like a gay man was just "disgusted" by childbirth is just disappointing to see.

if you really want to be upset by ben's actions, obviously, you can be. maybe he could have done more to be comforting but i just don't think he could have "saved" the baby. it was already dead. to blame him, to act like he willfully killed the baby/did not care about shauna, is just silly. to say that the disabled gay man needs to kill himself so the girls can eat him now is an insane take. to act like he needs to be punished for something out of his control is stupid. to single him out when he was far from the only one being "useless" is just weird. why is there a sudden lack of critical thought re: his character?

and can we wait to see everyone's reactions before deciding everyone hates him for it?

[weaselbeaselpants]

Lorch opened her big stupid mouth again and decided to lean into "addicts are all awful and deserve to die" territory. How adorable.

My father functionally drank himself to death after he finally drove us away for good with his constant rage sessions, bouts of anger, stalking, suicide baiting and threatening us with guns, and all of this after a period of hightened emotional and verbal abuse we were subjected to after the death of my grandmother which lead him to self-medicate even harder than he already did throughout my whole life. I get really pissed at the idea that drugs, ANY drug or substance, can "save" you. It can't. You have to save you and self-medication can kill and does kill. It ruined my life because it ruined my dad's life and it ruined his immune system to where he died of bronchitis. I know from watching my dad's brother, my uncle, who did do HARD drugs and had the same issues as my dad, that hard drugs are easy to get into after you keep clearing hurtles to escape pain/feel higher, and then DANGEROUSLY hard to escape from. No Lily I didn't need Requiem for a Dream and Trainspotting to tell me that though I've heard from people that both those movies are disturbingly accurate about heroine, which is horrifying. No one should go through what happens in those stories and they sure as hell shouldn't be blamed/shamed/treated like 'filth' for being in that position at all.

The thing is, people are responsible for themselves. Not taking prescriptions right is bad. ALWAYS talk with a psychiatrist they are literally there to hear how you're doing on your drugs; never drink/smoke/toke and drive or handle machinery. It is absolutely not worth it get your friend or family to do it PLEASE even if they're annoying (at best) and chast you for that. If there's any way in which weed can directly kill you -Lily- it's through this. Wait till you're home; I'm not telling you this crap because I'm your mom, stranger on the internet reading this. I'm telling you this as a person with my own vices who lives around other people with their own vices; take care of yourself as best you can. You can do better, but you can never be perfect and that's okay. Don't abstain from stuff you can't quit but please be responsible. And godspeed to people dealing with addictions to hard drugs. I wish you the best - you can do it and as impossible as it may seem you will find the things you need in life to escape your pain without your addiction. I wish...so much that vibes and prayers and good thoughts could do more for you; especially the people dealing with drugs and homelessness right now which is SO MANY in my county alone. My government is screwing you over. You deserve to live and you ought to have your story told no matter what.

Anyway fuck you six ways to sunday Lily Orchard in the name of HUMANITY. You miserable, awful woman- wishing death and eugenic talk onto addicts for the crime of being an addict. You're the kind of person who doesn't just get uncomfortable+scoot away at a clearly tripping person on the bus, you actively say vile things abt them under your breath and scream at them if they even come near you. You have no empathy. I pray to god you never come across a homeless person. You must think the same backward garbage about them too.

Also speaking of vices and lecturing people on them, I find all this rich coming from the woman who wrote incest-laden cp left and right in her heyday, blames other people for it and very likely has accounts full of visual cp under your sockpuppets. I don't drink, smoke or take heavy drugs myself, Lily. But, just looking at what your good old friend Tara (who is not Sai. We both know this I don't even like Sai and I know it's not Sai) has hidden on the web I kind of want to now just to get those images outta my mind. "Quit at anytime/just NOT do the dangerous this" clearly doesn't apply to you. Predator.

[kkatastrophic]

RAMBLE TIME YAY!!!

Bro I genuinely give up on reasoning with my parents at this point, especially my mum. I don't need phone time, and we've had it for two years and it isn't working, you get mad at me every time I "break a rule" but it's just finding loopholes because I'm done with this shit. Like I don't want to talk about my phone usage at the moment, I don't care what limits you give me because at the end of the day if I use an app for more than 20 minutes a day you're putting on a limit. Just because I don't want to talk about it right now doesn't give you the right to put settings on all of my apps and lock my phone as soon as you're not happy with how I reply.

I don't care about it. I don't actually fucking care about the limits, I could not care less. I know I'll find loopholes anyway, like I always do. I have three different ways to get onto tumblr even if you block it on my phone, excluding my laptop. I can just use google and go on the web version of most apps, and if you block or time limit google I can just use the internet app to browser search for it. Block that too? I have the password.

My mum says that she's tired of "micro managing" me but she gives me no freedom, and any room to move that she gives me is overshadowed by "I don't trust you enough to let you do that".

It's so difficult trying to reason with parents, especially a TEACHER parent, who thinks that just because she's in the education industry, that she knows best and is automatically correct in any assumptions she makes.

I honestly hate it.

She locked my phone for no reason just now, because I didn't want to TALK about my phonetime while I was doing something else! I ask her to talk about loosening the restrictions and rules and she says "after this, after this, no I don't feel like it." but she's not giving me a chance to do the same?

And don't get me started on when she thinks I'm FAKING my WORRIES because of the INTERNET! I came to her super worried and upset because she's my mum, parents know everything they just have to always be there and usually they are. And I told her I was worried something was wrong with me, and she doesn't reassure me and say "no this is normal blah blah blah" she tells me I go through phases of reading something online and then "developing symptoms" and faking it.

Like I was 11 the last time I did something like that, and I regret it so much I actually cry every time I think about it, second-hand embarassment exists don't be stupid as a kid.

And like... then she follows up with "if you want to see a therapist we can book you in for one" ... now that you tell me you think I'm faking you want me to make you "waste money" on a therapist. You said my problems are non-existent and put me through this spiral of denial and confusion just to tell me "oh by the way, if they're not then we can see somebody about this issue! :D"

I don't WANT to anymore.

Like literally yesterday I waited for 30 minutes for food and was too scared to ask if they were preparing it. (AT A BBQ GUYS, A FRICKING BBQ!) LIKE I ALMOST CRIED WHILE ASKING?? And I'm legitimately the most extroverted person on the planet.

I've been taking mild stress medication every day before school, and I've been taking tablets to sleep every now and then. BECAUSE I BELIEVE SOMETHING MAY BE WRONG WITH ME!!! And if you can't support me when I THINK that, then how are you going to go if something really does happen?!

Idk bro maybe I'm overthinking all of this but I just can't anymore with this.

[lukewarmsoapytoast]

UGH the URGE to just spam this acc with angst writing is INSANE. Sadly, I haven’t written a full-length read in a while, I’ve had college classes in the mornings and I get busy in the afternoons. So, my point is, HERE’S SOME QUOTES I CAME UP WITH OR WANT TO USE‼️‼️

Please only reuse w/ credit!

Most of these taken from irl because it was funny 😭

LET ME KNOW YOUR OPINIONS AND WHAT YOU WANT TO SEE WHAT QUOTES AND SUCH IN!!!

Quotes

•

"Of course you do, and you’re going to regret those bad decisions in the morning when you’re sober."

“What morning?”

•

“You ignore my requests like they’re food allergies at a foreign restaurant and you wonder why I wanna hang out with girls more.”

•

“I wish I could love you, too.”

•

“It’s because I’m in love with you.”

“Because you wha—oh my god, it all makes sense now.”

•

"Alright, alright, I’ll tell you. But you can't laugh, okay? Promise me you’ll listen without judgment."

“I mean unless you say that you managed to kill a god, I won’t laugh.”

“Gee, thanks for the vote of confidence.”

•

“My love…You— You know there isn’t any recovering from this, the medics won’t arrive in time, I-I’ll die. I deserve to be made fun of for being that stupid, but I don’t regret my choice…saving you was my goal overall in life, my purpose, and I succeeded..I can die happy, but you need to let me go, first.”

•

“And how am I supposed to believe you, huh? You wanna bring that fucking whore in to confirm that you still love me? That you regret fucking her over and over, and over, repeatedly, on our own damn bed??”

“[First Name], I—”

“It’s [Last Name] now, that’s what you’ll be referring to me as. No more pet names, no more first name. Goodbye, find somebody else to manipulate.”

•

“Dude, you literally shot me.”

“I was beat as a child, do you hate me, do you want me dead, I know you do, I understand—”

•

“I have a penis and it isn’t mine. ☺️”

“Uhh, what?”

“You heard me.”

“Where r u rn??”

“I’m w ur mom”

“Bruh”

“The party you told me not to go to.”

“Omw.”

•

“If you could have any superpower, what would it be?”

“😈”

“Uh oh? Please tell me you haven’t written an essay about this already and I happened to send that around the time you finished it.”

“I think I'd have the ability to persuade people. It's nothing special but imagine how much success you could end up having and also how many people you could befriend. I like having friends. ALSO you can stop any wars with just a "Stop pretty pls 🥺👉👈" like it's the best superpower. You could save the world with it basically, screw pollution”

“Dear god, keep going. I’m interested.”

“People who wanna fly are confusing, like, go skydiving or something like that, pull a hiccup from HTTYD. And why obtain invisibility when you can just tell people you aren’t there?”

“Wait, you’ve got a point.”

“Somebody asking why we’re stalking them? Hit them with the ‘NUH UH! I’M NOT EVEN HERE, BABY! I’M A HALLUCINATION!’. That’ll win.”

“Oh my god you’re onto something.”

“Someone trying to end the world? Nope. ‘Pretty pls be a good person 🥺’ them.”

“How long have you been thinking about this?”

“Since you asked.”

“YOU THOUGHT THAT UP THAT QUICKLY???”

•

"What if he thinks I'm being dense?"

"Then he'll stop liking you. Problem solved."

Ideas

•

When they're constantly assuring as they lay dying, "I'm fine, I'll be okay, don't worry about me, l'll live." But their final words, whispered, barely audible,

"I don't want to die."

•

“I’ll be there for you”, “I’m sorry”, “I love you”, over and over again. “don’t hurt yourself”, “We need a break”, “I need you”, All of this, but you never mean it. Never. Not when I need you, your mistakes are a record on loop, your love is as present as my father. You don’t care if I hurt myself, especially because you hurt me. Can this break last forever? You need me to do as you say, you don’t need me there.

•

If HS!Gojo had a crush he’d confess like this:

(Texting)

“Let’s go on a date, do you like sex? Lol. <3”

•

Chr picks up a completely dry and closed jar of salsa.

“Salsaaaa…”

Something drips on their toe.

“Is…Is it wet?”

Frantically checking the jar for water droplets or cracks. Nothing.

“Excuse me???”

Confused.

“WHY???”

Concerned.

•

Father telling small adopted demon child to stay behind while they search for a plushie.

"Perhaps you should stay here, honey. This is no place for a child anyways. I'm sure we don't want you getting kidnapped by some kind of murderer, do we?"

"👹" Foaming at the mouth.

"Dear god, what have I done?"

•

Two characters arguing in a group chat over who’s hotter and it turns into an argument over who would be a better boyfriend to you. This is how you make your grand entrance.

“What did I just stumble upon at this very unfortunate hour. I wish to die.”

[fledglingmaster]

I'm not at 100% but I am on the mend. I drone on under the cut. I mean I really do. If you read thank you, if not it helps just to get everything out. My dental care the past year has been seriously traumatic.

I had an inflamed tooth that was extracted yesterday. After needing to be extracted for a week. I have medication for pain and infection. Though opioids never seem to help much. Last night I was able to get some sleep and I can chew again. My body has a lot to repair still.

This experience was a blessing in disguise, as odd as it may sound. For those who don't know, I am disabled. Sadly not in the legal sense. I can't get government support, yet I can't work a steady job because of my conditions. To put it plainly, I'm broke and must take what is given. I was without health insurance for a few years before I got medicaid. Medicaid does provide dental care, that is if you can find someone that takes it and is accepting new clients. It took over a year to find someone that was willing to take me on.

My current dentist has been a nightmare. The receptionist is obviously someone who has never struggled with money or her health. The queen bee type even though she must be in her 40s, low-key Karen. She treats everyone as if they are stupid and is extremely judgemental. Though not a major problem, dealing with her reminds me of all the girls that bullied me in my school years. That's still a sore spot for me.

The dental assistant can't take a proper x-ray. I'm not exaggerating when I say every x-ray needs at least 4 attempts. One time it took 7 tries. There is a major communication issue. I spent 15 minutes on the phone with her explaining that my filling fell out and that I can see the hole in my tooth. I don't know what she wrote down but no one knew I was coming in to have a filling redone. She is the go between for the front desk and the doctor and no one knows what's really going on. Every time I have work done she about waterboards me. She also is out of synch with the doctor. The doctor has to prompt her and even then sometimes she doesn't do what she needs to. They usually fight with each other. She is a nice person, but I feel she isn't qualified to do what she's doing.

The doctor is...something. When she isn't doing work on me she is okay and listens to me. When she's doing work she's no non-sense, which I respect, but it doesn't help my anxiety. She tells me to not fight her and to keep my head still. (I'm sorry, I can't breathe and I'm trying to not die but okay. Besides I barely moved, but now you can't see what you're doing because this place is lit worse than Dracula's castle.) She has me bend my neck back in an unnatural position that makes it difficult to breathe. I'm getting blasted with water going down my throat. I'm not completely numbed out, yet I get trigeminal neuralgia that I have to deal with for a week. (That has happened twice.) My tongue will be cut and/or burnt. I've had my lip and chin sliced as well. The entire time I feel like she's either going to yell at me or give up and say, "I can't work on you." I'm good at reading people and I can sense her frustration.

As mentioned, the lighting in there is terrible. The overhead light isn't adjustable or very bright. The chair doesn't allow for the head to gently fall back, hence the awkward pinch neck/pinned back head position that you have to hold. They don't let me see my x-rays or explain things in layman's terms. I haven't memorized teeth numbers as I didn't know that was a skill I needed. They can't seem to say 1st molar on the bottom left, just tooth 19 and I'm supposed to know which one that is. Communication over all is poor. They don't offer a print out of treatment plans so I can just figure it out myself. Their x-rays can't tell them if I need a root canal done on teeth or not. Which reminds me, they don't do root canals because they don't have the machine. They're impossible to get a hold of, they literally don't answer the phone. You have to leave a message and wait for them to get back to you. They don't have an emergency line meanwhile they are closed friday-sunday. Every time I go there I leave feeling stupid, worthless, and ugly. But, they're the only place I can go to for free and I have a lot of dental issues. End background origin.

So less than a year ago I had a filling done. It never sat right, it was overfilled, it hurt, eventually there was a gap, in Dec it fell out, 1 out of 10 bad. They had to redo it and made it sound like it was my fault it fell out. As they worked on me the tool broke. It was an interchangeable part but the new piece didn't fit. So they had to try to get the old one to work again, which they did. But if they couldn't get it working I guess I would just have to deal with an even bigger hole in my tooth for who knows how long. They told me if the pain lasts longer than 2 weeks to tell them. 2 weeks go by and I'm feeling pretty good. Slight soreness, but for a deep filling seems okay. 2 weeks and 3 days later, oh this actually hurts...but it is a major filling, the other one was like this and the pain went away after a few additional weeks. I thought it was part of the healing process as I've heard deep fillings take longer to heal and can be more painful than small ones. A couple more days, holy shit this pain is bad! I need my tooth pulled! I call and get no response, I email and get nothing, I even showed up in person and they were closed. Which is why I didn't get a response. It was during business hours on thursday. They're going to be closed all weekend. I considered going to the ER, but there isn't much they can do besides pain meds while there and antibiotics. I'm in the worst pain of my life. (This is coming from someone who walked on a broken foot for a month before finally admitting to myself it was broke and I should get medical help. I know pain.) Not only that I am worried about infection.

My mom gets and pays for my appointment at a local dentist for the following day as they do emergency appointments even for new clients. They happen to be running a deal this month and the cost ends up $19 for a full consult and extensive x-rays. Which they want to do before doing any work, understandable. Everyone there is pleasant, there's zero judgement. The place is well lit, too bright for me but absolutely needed for them. There is laughing and jokes between the staff. I get my x-rays first. None of them had to be redone. They also can tell which teeth need root canals. Everyone there listened to me and was sympathetic. When I told them my dentist didn't do root canals they were shocked. They showed me my x-rays and explained exactly what was going on with all of my teeth using layman's terms. They gave me multiple options far as saving teeth vs extractions. I told them with how much work was done on the one tooth and how much it hurt, I just wanted it gone. I was reassured that missing one tooth shouldn't cause me problems and all my bottom teeth looked good. They didn't mention how they were overcrowded, just they were healthy. They talked about my top teeth...yeah a lot of work still on those. But they can give me my smile back. I had a couple accidents which have cost me 2 teeth already, a baby tooth that needs to go, and now a days 3 that have major cavities that I could lose. All of which is, well depressing, but I was aware of it all already so it wasn't a shock. A lot of factors have gone in to my teeth but many people see missing teeth and judge. Even if they didn't I feel ugly. The past three years I haven't smiled much and I avoid photos to the point that people comment how great I am at dodging photos. My grandma felt bad and was willing to pay for an implant for my front tooth. Though I still would be missing a lot and thus still feel unattractive. For around the same price I can get a partial denture and have all my missing teeth filled in. My other dentist never gave me that option and wanted to push a bridge that would cost that only covered some of the back teeth. I already planned to go back just for the partial at some point but the extraction sealed the deal.

While they don't take medicaid, they do have a discount program that has a yearly fee of a little over $100. I signed up and already saved $330 on the extraction. Technically $230 if you subtract the yearly fee. It will knock down the price of the denture too. All work gets a discount. It's not free but it's about as cheap as you can get.

Extraction day I'm numbed out and wow am I numb! It's then that it hits me. I never felt that numb for work at the other dentist even with them doing more shots than what was done there. The chair lets my head fall back and I don't have to do the kink neck thing. I can breathe normally. They move the light and it adjusts. It's blindingly bright and they give me sunglasses to wear. The two of them moved so well together I could swear the doctor just had four hands. Anytime he said he needed a tool or suction, she had it covered. She did spurts of water and suctioned it out, none went down my throat. He kept telling me how good I was doing. He apologized a few times and when I alerted him to my tmj hurting on the opposite side he supported my jaw. I know my head moved just because of the force of everything. That wasn't an issue for them. Zero injuries to my tongue or face. Unfortunately, I did still have pain, but I know without a doubt I had the least amount of pain possible. He asked if I wanted any meds, another thing that my other dentist never offers. They are open more hours AND they have an emergency line that can be called.

It was night and day. I felt safe and I was treated like a human being. I will have to talk to my grandma and see if she will support me in getting most of my work done there. I will use the other place to get my two crowns covered and an easy extraction, the baby tooth, then goodbye forever. It's like feeling real love after being in an abusive relationship. I can't believe how I was treated. Maybe if I was in prison I could understand it. Even then I think it's still inhumane. I got a deep cleaning done at the new place as well as some preventative care. There are so many more people there and all of them are friendly and caring. 10/10

I cancelled my cleaning for the other dentist and they got back to me instantly. Hmm...okay, you don't like me cancellin, yet you don't do anything to keep me around. They actually got back to me the night before my extraction. While I was waiting on them I got antibiotics and an appointment for the extraction within a few days. I'm sure with them it would have been a week or more I'd have to deal with the pain.

This discount thing I have apparently has something with vision care as well. My eye care is a very similar story...I should see if walmart takes it because I went to them for years and never had an issue. Well besides the air puff machine punching my eye. That was a one-off thing. This other place, nothing but problems. When you have medicaid you're treated like shit. At least my doctor-doctors and specialists are all wonderful.

[dwarf-vader-of-middle-earth]

I fucking hate the USA. So much.

My mother sent in paperwork weeks ago to the insurance company, stating that they had agreed to keep her covered while she was recovering and laid up from work.

Yesterday, our insurance company suddenly said they never received the paperwork that was faxed directly to them despite the fact that I had witnessed it being done so, and that the insurance was cancelled indefinitely.

Today, my tooth broke horribly and is super sharp and painful, it's scraping my cheek inside until I can't even talk without feeling pain, and I have a bad taste in my mouth from it. I am mid lupus flare, and my migraines are returning as a result. And the most agonizing thing of all is I have suddenly developed a fissure in my lower body and I am in such horrible agony that I cannot use the bathroom without screaming and crying.

And I can get help with none of this. All because the fucking insurance company probably threw aside the faxed documents and ignored them completely, and they're just sitting there in a pile or on a computer and will never be seen.

I am suffering. I am in severe pain in multiple places and it is actually making my life unliveable. I cannot do basic functions (use the bathroom, walk, eat). And there's not a damn thing I can do for this until the insurance company agrees to sign us back on, and there is legit no telling how long it'll be. Last time this happened, it was a full month we had to go without insurance. And apparently that's a short time.

Doctors will not and cannot see me because I am not covered by insurance, and therefore I am not permitted by their practices to be treated since having no insurance is a liability issue. If I managed to find a private practice primary care doctor, and oral surgeon, and rheumatologist, which is basically impossible on all accounts, my family would be shelling out literally hundreds of dollars for just one visit to each one where I'd have to go for even more expensive testing that would be tens of thousands of dollars, and none of it would even including the far more expensive meds that would be thousands of dollars each and I'd need at least 6 prescriptions covered. And my mom currently has to pay off the insane hospital bills and surgery bills and helicopter medivac ride bills, the last of which isn't even covered by insurance despite the fact that it was necessary for her life to be saved. So there is no money for uninsured doctor visits.

American healthcare is a Godsforsaken scam that fucking kills people. I'm not even making that up. Doctors here admit insurance companies exist to scam you out of your money. And it's illegal to not have health insurance. And having no health insurance means no care which means death. If you do have health insurance then it means you're denied care and coverage and limited on where you can go for any appointments and what steps you must take to get an appointment, the steps of which each require increasing copays just to be told you have to find another type of doctor, and pay them a copay for them to say the same thing, and it keeps going until the issue is so bad you wind up in the hospital. If you don't know what you're doing when finding doctors and filling out paperwork and signing documents for things regarding health and treatment, you're scammed out of literally hundreds of thousands of dollars.

Insurance companies are bullshit. They will profit off you, then refuse to benefit you in any way, and then take away all medical resources for stupid reasons without notice, literally leaving you to suffer and die without care.

Fuck the USA.

[reinedeslys-central]

more for this nico-dealing-after-blood-of-olympus fic:

it's just like his brain is somehow - offline. Not willing to help him string up the words to this sentence that's sitting on his tongue. The disrespect.

He's still got to power through, though, and now he's just been standing here at the table for a good ten seconds without saying anything, gods, Will must feel so awkward trying to politely ignore Nico standing behind him. What to say, what to say, need to provide a functional human first(-ish) impression on the conversation -

Will bends his head further over the book he's reading, which seems to have a diagram on it. He shifts his neck to look at it from another angle, just enough for Nico to see the page's title: "Cross-sections of the Circulatory System".

Oh, so - a biology textbook. Cool, cool, that makes sense, since Will's the head camp medic, so maybe -

Before he can stop himself, he blurts out - "The, uh, the medulla oblongata controls parasympathetic ventilation, like, coughing and sneezing and stuff." Or - is that even correct? Damn, what if Will's going to make fun of him for getting it wrong, maybe he should try another one -

"..The pancreas secretes sodium bicarbonate, lipase, protease, and amylase into the small intestine to help with digestion." There, that works for a conversation starter. Will should definitely know about that since he lectured Nico about his starch intake last week in the infirmary.

("I don't care if they're all carbs, di Angelo, at this point you just need to eat, I don't give a pegasus' ass whether it's all carbs and fats -" - which, whatever. )

It takes him a moment to realise Will hasn't said anything back. In fact, he's barely even moved, only enough to squint at his textbook from a new angle. Clearly the most self-aware guy in the room, this guy.

He tries again. Can't have people calling him un-persistent, or whatever.

"So, the, lumen of the vein is larger than the artery, right? Since they have thinner walls?" Oh, curse me. His own insults to that zoom around his brain like a sledgehammer on nectar. And for all his embarrassment, what does he get? Nothing. Solace is still sitting, thumbing through the pages like he hasn't heard anything.

So much for Reyna making his promise to try having friends, and so much for Solace dumping out on him for pushing people away. If he's going to ignore him, and not even tell him why like - like someone who'd promised to be honest with him, then he can just catch up with his textbook in private and not have to deal with Nico's awkward conversation starters or help in the infirmary again.

Fuck it. He stomps away, shaking out his fringe and angrily pressing his thumb into the indent of his initials in his sword's hilt.

No need to let anyone think the Fates are playing favourites, because clearly Nico's in a league of his own with them. Even better, they must love him so much, because right at that moment, when he's suddenly, too irrationally angry to think about where he's going, he trips over a side table and goes careening headfirst into the shelf by the window.

Ah, merde.

"Hey, are you al- wait, Nico? What are you doing here, man? You okay?"

...And of course that's what finally makes Solace wake up from his biology-induced lotus casino haze.

As Solace bounds over, ostensibly to do his whole why-aren't-you-taking-care-of-yourself-better-nico-listen-to-me-I'm-a-doctor-so-I-know-best-and-you-don't routine, Nico resists the urge to melt into the wall, literally. Why did he tell Reyna he'd try making friends? Look where it gets him. Why, of all people, did he have to say he'd try hanging out with Solace of all people when Reyna demanded he give her some actual names to back up his promises?

- ..stupidi ragazzi carini con i loro stupidi sorrisi e le loro stupide lamentele e la loro mancanza di consapevolezza spaziale perché los tre Moirai sono così per me, mamma? perché, dei, perché....

Solace hauls him up halfway into his arms and starts asking him random questions, like:

"What's your name?" Rude, didn't he just call Nico from across the room?

"Okay, okay, cool, I deserved that one, can you tell me what day it is?" How is Nico supposed to answer that. He barely knows what day it is on a good day, he just follows camp schedule through osmosis most of the time, asking random campers what the strategies for the next capture the flag game are to get a gauge on how far away it is -

"Shit, c'mon man, help me out here, what were you looking for in the library anyway? I didn't know you were the reading type - " Which, again, rude? Does Nico not look like the reading type? Is it the black and silver? Does he not look smart enough or something? Hazel's a literal whiz, and Solace knows that, so it can't be a Hades thing.

"Come on, Nico, talk to me. You know why you came to the library, right? Can you at least tell me that?"

To talk to you, dumbass! Because you're ignoring me! Like I'm only worth your time when I'm a patient!

But it's not like he can just say that, because that would be weird. Joy of joys, Solace is getting even closer now, what the hell is going on?

"Uh - listen, don't freak out, maybe I'm freaking out, it's okay, stay calm, I'm calm, I literally do this every day, uh, can you just look straight at me, di Angelo? Need to get a good look at your eyes, figure out how bad we're dealin' here -" and he starts leaning in even closer what the literal fuck -

Is this Nico's punishment for insulting the Fates? Because, damn.

Also, because Nico's brain loves him, it abandons him once more in his time of need, forcing him to let out the weirdest squeak he's absolutely going to deny he ever made. He feels his cheeks warm, and jerks an inch away in a weird full-body shake like Frank sometimes does after returning to his human form.

Gods, what a nightmare. He lifts his hands up to cover his burning face and discreetly look for the nearest shadow when he notices Solace's ashen face, freezing.

Before he can get a real, human word out, Solace is suddenly stepping forward and cradling the back of Nico's head in a ridiculously warm hand while the other cards through his hair.

What the fuck. What the absolute fuck. He would say it feels like his soul is leaving his body if he didn't already know exactly how that felt. His eyes go wide as he wheezes, trying to stammer out a demand for Solace to fucking explain himself, taking liberties with his person -

Solace steps back, clearly confused. "No huge bumps, alright.. maybe shock?" His eyes widen again, as if he's just now noticing the state he's left Nico in.

"Shit, shit, it looks like shock, dilated pupils, difficulty breathing, hold on, di Angelo, let's get you to the infirmary - " Uh, absolutely not? 'Di Angelo' has had enough of the infirmary for a lifetime, grazie mille, Dr. Solace. There isn't even anything wrong with him this time! He's not the one asking weird questions and doing weird things this time.

Without any further thought, he turns around and starts fighting his way out of Solace's grip. If his favourite doctor's shocked cursing is anything to go by, it's the first time a patient's actively tried to escape his tender mercies.

Scratch that. Solace's arms tighten around his waist and the ensuing scuffle makes it clear this is not his first time. Shit, Nico might actually lose this one.

"Sunoffa- Nico! I'm trying to help, calm down!" Like hell you are, Solace. Let me the fuck go (so I can run away and wallow with the nymphs) and maybe then we'll talk.

He redoubles his efforts while pivoting to avoid the lamp on the table next to them.

"You fucking menace," Solace hisses, and if that hidden loss of cool makes Nico grin, well, what's a skull scarf for. Not every day you get to make Sir Doctor Extraordinaire stop being all sunshiney for a day.

Solace finally growls and stops fighting him. "Alright, you win! Hey, can't you stop aggravating your injuries for once?" Which. Wait, what injury? Nico's in perfect health!

"- and like, wartime's one thing, normal camp is another. Do you seriously not respect your body at all? Come on, you haven't even argued it! D'you seriously hate the infirmary that much? Are we a joke to you? You haven't even said anything since you hit your head and - " Nico lets the rest of Will's rant fly over him as he stills, and his mind goes, oh. Oh, this is hilarious. Okay, well, all he's gotta do to correct Will's little misconception is to say something then, right?

He opens up his mouth to cut Will off when he lands on his burning blue eyes and realises, belatedly, that Will's warm arms are still ever-so-gently and firmly cradling his waist, curling around the coarse fabric of his Camp Half-Blood tee.

As his brain goes offline for the the third and hopefully final time, Nico bemoans his existence and prepares himself to blurt out:

"The kidneys are where erythrocytes go to die."

Oh, Dei miei. That's not even right. "Well, no, I mean, the kidneys are where erythropoietin is produced, when the medulla oblongata detects a lack of oxygen in the body, which stimulates the growth of more red blood cells in the bone marrow..."

At least Will's shut up now, which is great. Nico can already feel the headache brewing from his ranting. Instead of backing off, however, Will absentmindedly adjusts his grip on Nico's waist and cocks his head to the side.

"...Did you come to the library to ask me to help you with your biology homework? Because, and I really mean no offense, buddy, but I kinda thought you were a year-round camper. Where'd you find the time to study AP Bio?"

Nico gives up and melts to the floor, ignoring Will's cries to groan and repeatedly thunk his head into the thankfully carpeted floor. This is how Nico dies. He prays for his father to open up the ground and bring him down to the palace for a visit. Will's still struggling to pull him up off the floor (if he's going to chase after him, he can deal with having to catch him, damnit), but only one thought is playing through Nico's mind.

Oh, I'm never going to live this one down, am I?

same fic different scene 0 - prologue-ish

[murderenjoyer]

It's really frustrating when people get on my ass for forgetting things. As if I'm actively choosing to eject the information out of my brain. As if, after a conversation, I sit back and nefariously smile and rub my fly hands together and say "heheh, and now I'm going to wipe everything they told me from my mind. Because I don't care about them or their story. Because I don't value them as a friend or a person. Heheh."

I don't forget things because I want to! I don't only forget what you specifically tell me! I forget everything dude my brain is like a sieve and information runs through it like water.

I don't remember the majority of my childhood. Some of it is better off forgotten sure but do you think I'm happy I have essentially no memories of my dad? That I can't remember anything at all about my uncles? My cousins? My aunt? My grandma? They're dead now, I'll never speak to them again, all I had of them were memories. And I dont even have those. What about childhood best friends? Teachers that I enjoyed? Experiences that were important? They're all gone. Lost to the void.

It's happened to me over and over where I'll be somewhere and someone will approach me like "woah Tama hey!! I haven't seen you in so long how have you been?" And I'll have to smile and act excited and reply "heyyy! How are you! long time no see haha!"

And I have no idea who they are. I'll manage to parse via conversation that we apparently used to be close friends. We apparently went to school together and hung out every day. We apparently used to be online pals and we dm'd back and forth all the time. They're literally a part of my family and we used to hang out, we used to chat, we used to live in the same god damn house. And I have no memory of them. Not even a vague shadow of a memory.

It's less of an issue currently because I don't work or handle really anything outside of childcare and house upkeep but it can be downright debilitating.

When I was being questioned about my SA case when I was a teen, I literally could not answer so many of their inquiries. Does he have any distinguishing marks like moles or scars? I don't know. When did the abuse start? I don't know. What are the things he'd say to you? I don't know! I don't know I don't know I literally cannot remember no matter how hard I concentrate! I think back and there's just nothing but blackness, nothing but a void. People assumed that meant I was making it up. People assumed that meant I was lying. Doctors scoffed at me. Police rolled their eyes and talked down to me like I was stupid.

When I'm applying for jobs I can't answer the "list your previous jobs" question. What was my first job? How old was I when I started working? Where was I employed the longest? What was my most recent job? Why did I leave? I don't know!!! I'll think "it was definitely Walmart for sure, stayed for one year, quit six months ago. I started in summer." I'll double-check with my husband. I'll find out I haven't worked there in over five years. That my employment lasted four months. I started in winter.

When I'm trying to sign up for disability benefits, I can't answer the questions. What medications have I taken? I don't know. How many times have I been hospitalized and where? I can't remember. How long have I been moving through the mental health field in general? Who fucking knows man. Who knows. And I'll need to remember to call them on X day at X time to continue with the application process. Might as well just turn me down right here right now because I am surely not going to remember to do it.

"Set a reminder in your calendar set an alarm." Bold of you to assume I'm going to remember to do that and not instantly wipe my mind clean the moment I hang up the call.

When I was in legal trouble the last couple times, I couldn't answer the judges questions. I couldn't describe the timeline. Because I didn't know. I didn't remember.

I don't know my kid's birthdays. My own children, aged 12 and 5. I've had 12 years, 5 years, to memorize this information. When prompted for their DOB I nudge my husband because he knows.

I miss therapy appointments over and over and over. I do have a reminder in my calendar I do have an alarm on my phone! Therapy is every Monday at 1pm like clockwork! But when Monday rolls around and the clock strikes 1, it's the furthest thing from my mind. I don't think to check my calendar just in case because I don't remember that there's a reason to do such a thing in the first place.

I'll think of something and navigate to the google bar and click it and the keypad comes up and I don't know what I was going to search. I don't know why I opened the search tab at all. What was it? What was it? Was it important? I'll go back to my open apps and scroll around hoping to jog my memory. Sometimes it works. Usually it doesn't. Guess I'll never know.

Massive chunks of my experiences and relationships and important shit are just gone. They're gone, deleted out of my mind in an instant, so suddenly and thoroughly that I don't even know I forgot something in the first place. It may as well have never happened at all.

It is a mental problem it is a disability it is not a choice. I keep telling people that when they're mad I forgot some piece of trivia about them, when they're annoyed I flaked on the 3rd scheduled hangout in a row, when they're frustrated I dropped the ball on something that is extremely important. I tell them "I don't know why, I don't know what's wrong with my brain, but my memory is broken. I don't choose what information I do and don't retain. I'm trying I'm really trying but I'm not in control of the situation" and still they talk down to me like I'm an idiot and berate me like I'm being intentionally dismissive and snarl and snap that I fucked something up that I forgot something really really important that they said to me.

Its frustrating living like this. I'm basically floating in a haze with blinders on. I can't see the past. All those happy memories I made with friends and family vanish. All I have left is bits and pieces, little slivers of memories, vague ideas that something happened before.

Do you know how hard it is to live like that? Do you know how sad it is? Not being able to remember anything from your own kids' lives until you open your HD and browse old pictures and videos? Forgetting entire people you were close with? Never being sure of anything ever?

So much of how a person understands and interprets their life, themselves, their loved ones, is based on memories. And I don't have that. I feel like a shard of a person because all the pieces that went into forming me as I am have been lost to time.

It's not a choice, okay? It's not a fucking choice.

[dnalkaline]

ugh nobody actually has to read this i just feel like i need to type all my thoughts out somewhere or i'll explode.

I know like 9-12k$ isn't like impossible to get but it feels so daunting and i know barely anyone will reblog or donate to my GFM if i made one (as always happens for my medical shit. even for my pets) so idk what the fuck do even do about this. I'm trying not to be cynical about it but that's just been the running theme since. literally my entire life. i don't even know why i bother anymore

Honestly i have no hope for my future if that shit grows back and leaves me in the same amount of pain as someone going through labor multiple times a year AGAIN i think i will actually kill myself for real. im sick of this shit.

like this isn't even a dysphoria thing it's something that could ACTUALLY kill me through blood clots and nobody in my life IRL even fucking cares. My mom has enough money to just pay for a hysterectomy out of pocket for me without it being a huge deal to her and she just fucking won't and just keeps telling me to harass my insurance about it despite this being months of back-and-forth and i can already feel my endo symptoms growing back.

My insurance flat-out told me they'll only approve it if it keeps growing back and i have to go through surgery to remove it multiple times. This isn't even counting the fact I also have CYSTS that need to be removed because they're also causing pain and my insurance just... won't fucking approve it

The symptoms are already coming back after my most recent surgery and I'm still having periods despite the fact I'm POST-MENOPAUSE.

I don't understand why people keep preventing me from committing suicide just to not actually help me with the reasons why I keep trying to kill myself. it feels cruel. People say to reach out or whatever and then go radio silent. it feels so performative. I don't even mean that i expect my friends to give me money because i know everyone has problems but it feels like i keep being ignored and people make a point to not even reblog my help posts. It's always like the same 3 people getting in touch.

at this rate i hope i die. everyone keeps telling me it'll get better and i just have to go on but my entire life is me getting out of the frying pan and into the fire. Therapy hasn't been helping anymore because all the depression isn't like trauma shit it's just the poverty and the fact life keeps actively trying to get me killed by any means necessary all the time. I'm exhausted.

I'm tired of being the sick friend that's treated like the elephant in the room just because i can't fucking do anything and every inch of my life is just another walking trigger warning to people. I've become self conscious about needing to walk with mobility aids now because I feel like it's just another reminder of my fragility and inevitable demise to people.

I just don't fucking get it. i metaphorically break my back all the time to help other people with their shit but i barely get anything in return (except from the same few ppl i mentioned earlier and i am very grateful you guys are real friends). like. am i doing something wrong. am i just an unlikable person. i know people think i'm scary which i try to offset by being nice but i don't know if it's working.

I'm only alive right now because all of the fucking demon pacts and other spirit work i do causing me to avoid stuff and get more opportunities and I feel stupid about it because that's not even stuff that most people believe in and can't even be proven to be real.

i dont even know where im going with this im tired and i want to give up. fuck life. i actively despise life most of the time. I guess I just have to keep clinging to my blorbos i dont fucking know. whatveer.

[spite-and-waffles]

[Transcript:

Bill (Professional Henchman), wearing a black medical face mask, standing guard against a door: *to himself* "God I hate morning patrols. At least when I'm not on night patrol I'm not getting hit by Batman....Although I do have to wake up early so I might actually prefer getting hit by Batman."

Random Henchman (face exposed): *comes down the stairs* "Hey, man, Boss just called and said I'm gonna be guarding the door with you tonight."

Bill: "Sounds good. Whoa hey- where...where's your mask, man?"

Random Henchman: "Ex..excuse me?"

Bill: "Last time I checked we're still in the middle of a fucking pandemic, man. There's a mask mandate. Where's your fuckin' mask?"

RH: "Are you kidding?? Who fucking cares if there's a mask mandate, man. We're villains! We're henchmen, we're evil - we break the law all the time! It's literally our job!

Bill: "We're villains and we break the law, but we're not fuckin stupid. We still listen to science."

RH: "Maybe you do."

Bill: "What the actual fuck are you talk- we're working for a super scientist right now! That is Mr. Freeze in there!"

RH: "Don't be so fuckin' paranoid."

Bill: *closes eyes* "Tell me that a henchman in Gotham City did not just tell me to not be paranoid!!"

RH: "Fuckin' whatever. Still not wearing a mask, dude."

Bill: "Yes, the fuck you are! Or Imma report your ass to the Goonion!"

RH: "Fucking come on! Seriously, dude?"

Bill: "Absolutely! I am more concerned about my and everyone else's safety than your fuckin' friendship. Go put on a mask or you're getting reported, asshole."

RH: *glare*

Bill: *pointed look*

RH: "Fine. Fuck." *turns around* "God, you're a prick."

Bill: *calls after him sarcastically* "I'm sorry for caring about the people around me, you fucking heartless asshole!"

Bill: *mutters indistinctly to himself* "...don't even like wearing these things...get this shit over with..."

*waits*

Bill: *muttering again* "...fuckin' vaccinated, Jesus...for christ's sake..."

...

Bill: "...he go buy one from the 7/11? Where the fuck is he?"

RH: *coming back down* "I got a mask you fuckin' asshole."

Bill: "It's about fuckin ti...ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME??"

RH: *wearing a Cobra Commander full face helmet* "What? You said a mask! This is a mask!"

Bill: "You know good and goddamn well I meant a face mask!"

RH: "Sor-ry, but I don't carry medical grade face masks everywhere that I go!"

Bill: "Yeah, because the Cobra Commander helmet is so much more reasonable than having a- why do you have that?"

RH: "I'm a hench for hire okay? The Goonion sends me wherever I need to go and the last place I went was goddamn Cobra headquarters in Springfield!"

Bill: "That's from a another villain's henchman? That's even more reason you can't fucking wear it!"

RH: "D'you want me to wear a fucking mask or not??"

Bill: "I will just loan you a mask! Just take the helmet off!"

RH: "You mean you made me go through all this and you could have just loaned me a mask this entire fuckin time?"

Bill: "You're on year two of this motherfucker! Everyone has a mask! I did not think I was going to need to get you one or you were going to wear a fucking Cobra helmet! Take it off!"

RH: "Fine! Fuck. Goddamn it." *moves to take it off*

Bill: *mutters in disbelief* "Un-fucking-believable."

RH: *struggles with helmet, grunting*

Bill: *eyeroll* "What fuckin' now?"

RH: *muffled* "It's stuck."

Bill: "What."

RH: *frustrated groan* "It's fucking stuck, okay?"

Bill: *shakes head in disbelief* "How did you make it out of training?"

RH: *more frustrated groaning* "Are you gonna fucking help or not?"

Bill: "Fuck. Here." *pulls down helmet and feels around it* "There's a latch in the back."

RH: *grunt of approval* "There you go. Think you got it."

Bill: *stands back* "Alright. There. Jeez-"

RH: *pulls off helmet to reveal Red Hood helmet underneath* "Awesome. Thank you."

Bill: "Fuck!!!" *stumbles back and runs*

Red Hood: *to himself* "Nice to know they're at least staying safe. Welp." *cocks gun* "Time to fix that."]

[dwarf-vader-of-middle-earth]

Woah. Holy shit. Thank you for translating this, sincerely, and I just... wow.

Especially in terms of education and health, these are incredible conditions in literally every single aspect.

In the USA, if your child is struggling in school and needs to have a teacher's aide, or if they need to be in SPED (special education) courses to accommodate their disability, or if they just need any educational accommodation whatsoever, the child cannot request these. The parents need to approve it for them, to the school, and that is final. That is law. The child can't do anything but grovel and beg for help with the decision of adults taken into account and the child's being entirely meaningless.

You know what happens then?

"Oh, my child doesn't need this help!! Wait, why is my child failing every course? They're stupid and need to do better. Oh, now my child claims they're depressed because I keep calling them stupid, but they just have to try harder. Crap now my child is dead by their own hand and they blamed it on me before they died."

I've seen this shit happen constantly.

My own friends were put on suicide watch lists because of these sorts of issues.

I myself endured this shit growing up. I wanted to be in SPED math courses because it was far too difficult to manage the regular math without any help at all. My parents refused to admit I needed any help, but neither understood the math I was doing and therefore couldn't help me, and you know what happened? I failed years of math, my parents kept telling me I wasn't trying hard enough, and every day until I graduated I legitimately just wanted to die because by law I was not allowed to stop attending school, and I wasn't receiving the help I needed in order to succeed. My teachers taught classes of over 20 students each, and one teacher to 20 students who spends the entire hour and a half lecturing us can't spend the whole day with me alone trying to teach me concepts I can't grasp.

With health it's just as bad.

I've met kids who go to black market sources to get their medications and medical care because their parents won't allow it for religious reasons. 16 year olds who told me that because they are Jehovas Witness they can't take anything or get vaccines, and so they buy their prescriptions from overseas and have them discreetly sent to them, then they hide the medications.

I've had friends who the moment their parents found said medications, they dumped them into the toilet and disposed of them so their child couldn't take them, claiming those meds aren't necessary when they absolutely are.

Heart medications, muscle medicine, mental health meds, steroids for organ transplants.

And the child can't request refills because by law you must be 18 or older to advocate for medical things, or anything at all.

There is a reason the USA sets us up for failure, and this is it. When you're a kid you grow up powerless in legitimately every conceivable way, and the moment you're 18 you're told to just advocate for yourself suddenly.

No one tells you how. They just say to do it. Make your own phone calls for things, go get this accommodation, ask for that thing on your own.

They don't teach you what to say, how to ask for that, how to handle... any advocacy. Nobody is aware of the resources they have or how to find them. You're legitimately thrust into the world of adulthood with the knowledge that everything is suddenly your responsibility and good fucking luck with the rest!

That is why USA adulthood is so stressful because we did not have a voice as children and we did not have help as children, and now we are adults expected to take the full brunt of everything all at once without any practice, assistance, help, or preparation.

And that is unacceptable.

I wish the USA had Rights of the Child. In every regard I wish we would fucking implement this.

Because no child deserves to suffer in total silence with their issues ignored by the parents who are the end all be all of their advocacy.

I cant believe this tweet is how I find out

[starlightsinger32]

Speeding Bullet Wedding Headcanons

I said I would describe what I envision Sniper and Scout's wedding to look like since their one in 'Marry You?' isn't ideal...so here ya go!

Who proposed? Neither, really. They'd been together for years, and are just kinda talking about that, when Scout jokes that they should get married. He laughs, but Sniper's like "Okay" and Scout's like "Okay" and that's it, they're engaged.

Parent's reaction: Scout's Ma is thrilled, she loves Sniper because he's polite and good to Scout and tries to keep him out of trouble (she knows what they and Spy do for a living ;)). Spy, obviously, hates the idea at first and tries to bully each of them into giving up the other until Scout's Ma basically slaps him upside the head and tells him to back off. Then he begrudging accepts it, in public at least.

Sniper's adoptive parents are happy for him, not as happy as Scout's ma since they don't really know Scout, but he behaves himself once they fly in from Australia, and they decide they like him. Besides, considering how reclusive Sniper had always seemed to them, they didn't think he would even make a close friend, let alone get married, so they're honestly just relieved. (They don't know exactly what Scout does beyond 'assassin' since 'bashes skulls in' probably wouldn't go over well.) And they do love Sniper, so they're happy that he's happy and Scout seems to open him up a bit.

Teammates Reactions:

-Engineer: Genuinely happy; he wondered if it would ever happen and knows that they will be good together

-Pyro: Also happy, but in a more childlike way. Shows their excitement with a lot of hugging

-Soldier: Boisterous excitement, along with a lot of somewhat inappropriate and confusing advice (he and Zhanna are married at this point)

-Demoman: ANOTHER EXCUSE TO PARTY/DRINK! (not that he needs one)

-Heavy: Quietly supportive. He doesn't go on and on about them getting married, but is glad it is happening, partially because he hopes that Medic seeing others getting married will make him more receptive to the idea

-Medic: Outwardly is happy for them, but internally doesn't really care, unless they're willing to let him help them have biological children (cough cough uterus implant cough). Also internally is a little nervous about going since he knows that Heavy wants to get married, but he's uncomfortable with giving up some control in his life and needing to consider another person.

When and Where does it happen? Early Autumn in Massachusetts is absolutely gorgeous, so late September to early October. Sniper is fine with not having it in Australia, it makes more sense to bring his parents over then fly everyone else to Australia. Besides, they go there for the honeymoon and get into exactly the kind of trouble you'd expect from them in the outback ;) Where exactly I'm not sure, but not in the city, somewhere in the forest, maybe by a lake. A lot of the guests are criminals, so they have to be discreet anyways.

Who's invited? Sniper's adoptive parents and aunt (mom's sister), Scout's Ma and brothers and their families, all of the mercs and a plus one if they want (provided they won't cause a shitshow), and Miss Pauling (she's so busy she doesn't have a plus one but the guys are glad to see her). Heavy and Medic come together, Spy comes with Scout's Ma, Engineer brings his wife, Mary, but not their adult children, Solider brings Zhanna, and Demo brings his mother (which is so freaking cute). Pyro's content to come alone, and sits with Miss Pauling during the ceremony.

Planning the Wedding: Sniper and Scout are simple guys who know literally nothing about planning a wedding. Scout can't seem to focus on just one component and keeps getting distracted/excited, and Sniper's even less help because he can't make a decision about wedding stuff to save his life and just goes along with Scout, except when it's stupid or dangerous. So the two of them end up getting a lot of help, mostly from the women in their lives, and it turns out there's a lot of things involved that they didn't even know about. Spy helps too, but he and Scout get into a lot of fights because he can't help but be condescending about their incompetance.

What does the wedding look like? Even though our boys have decent money, the weddings not very high budget, considering the low guest number. Sniper doesn't want a large wedding, and Scout understands because he knows Sniper doesn't enjoy attention or large groups. A lot of the decoration is actually the forest they get married in, since it's autumn and the orange and red leaves are absolutely gorgeous. The 'colour scheme' if there even is one is red, and a bit of white, as a nod to the RED team and also blood, since they were both covered with it when they really met each other. They don't tell people that though. The guests sit on white chairs during the ceremony, and Sniper and Scout just stand in front of the lake or a really beautiful tree when they get married, they don't need anything else.

The reception is in the same location, and frankly, most of their budget is spent on food and alcohol. It isn't fancy, the menu is basically made up of whatever foods Scout and Sniper like, plus basic things like salad, garlic bread (unteleported), pasta salad, etc. The cake isn't fancy either, but it is huge. It's chocolate, because screw tradition, they both love chocolate, although Scout would eat any kind of cake, though they might have raspberry filling added to it or something. For drinks there is water, soft drinks, beer, wine, tequila, vodka, and whiskey. There isn't an open bar until the kids leave though...because yeah.

When it gets dark, there are strings of lights wound through the trees over the tables, the kind that are in individual jars. Scout doesn't tell Sniper about this, so when he sees them, he freezes for a second, but ends up thinking it's hilarious. There are no flowers on the tables, both Scout and Sniper have no interest in them, instead they have small candles in wooden frames. (And a couple fire extinguishers under the table in case Pyro gets carried away) There is a seating plan, so no one riles each other up too much or tells the non-mercenary guests too much about their jobs (so Soldier, Pyro, and possibly Demo; the rest can lie convincingly). The meal is buffet style, they do have the food delivered, but then transport it into the forest themselves, and serve themselves. Again, the mercs make sure the kids and ladies have enough to eat before really going to town on the food, since Heavy, Demo, Soldier and Scout have huge appetites.

Highlights from the actual wedding:

-The mercs were told not to bring weapons, but everyone did anyways, including Sniper and Scout. They want to protect each other, so sue 'em. They do try to hide the weapons, so Sasha ends up in a bass violin case that Heavy insists on carrying with him.

-A LOT of people cry during the ceremony, including Scout's Ma, Sniper's mom, Miss Pauling (but just a little), and Soldier (loudly). This happens again when Scout's oldest brother who died in WW2 is mentioned later during the reception.

-They do not hire a photographer, but several people, including Pyro, bring cameras. Scout's nieces and nephews figure out pretty quickly that although Scout loves having his picture taken, their new uncle does not, so they make a game out of sneaking up on Sniper and taking pictures until he spots them. They actually get some good candid shots this way.

- Sniper and Scout walk down the aisle together, like in Marry You?, except they do it because they want be together, not because they are nervous. They also do it so neither of them can be called 'The Bride', but since Scout is smaller and shorter than Sniper, he gets called that all night regardless.

-Scout shoves cake into Sniper's face. Sniper is like "You little bugger" and shoves A LOT more into his face. Scout laughs and they kiss despite having cake all over their lower faces

-Despite not planning speeches, speeches happen because drunk people (or tipsy anyways) are more comfortable public speaking. The parents are cute (except Spy who is vaguely threatening towards Sniper), Scout's brothers do their best to embarrass him, and the other mercenaries range from genuine to borderline inappropriate. Demo gets cut off by his mother, who drags him back to his seat and starts scolding him after one too many gay sex jokes.

-Some of Scout's family takes the kids home once it gets dark and the food is mostly gone. The parents leave too, except Spy who stays to keep and eye on things. Then all the alcohol comes out and everybody gets slammed. Dancing wasn't planned either, but it happens. The drunk Kazotsky Kick danced by both those who do and don't know how is a thing of beauty.

-At one point during the night, Scout looks at Sniper, who's a distance away and tells Engineer, Medic, and Miss Pauling, in total seriousness: "I'd hit that." His reaction when they tell him that he already has, and they're married now is so excited and wholesome...until he goes over to Sniper and they start making out right there.

-Demoman ends up sneaking in fireworks, which he sets off towards the end of the night. Some of the non-mercanaries are concerned about his alcohol level, but the team tells them that this is the most sober he has ever been around explosives. The loud noise and explosions prompt the mercenaries to shoot off a few rounds into the air because firepower is a must at a Team Fortress wedding, and that's how they celebrate

-Everyone is way too drunk to go anywhere that night, but the next morning Scout and Sniper leave in Sniper's camper with a LOT of alcohol cans tied to the back. They have to remove some sort of rocket attached to the back, most likely by Soldier and Zhanna. The honeymoon is the longest Sniper has EVER taken off of work, but it's worth it to him just so he can stay in bed with Scout all morning

What did I miss? If you want to know any other parts of the wedding, use my Ask Me Anything or comment!

[live-love-laugh-lesbian]

why does your art look like it was done by a 14 year old on deviantart? kinda embarrassing that you’re asking for money for it lol

After reviewing a few stupid questions, I've realised that I feel bad for the weirdos sending me asks.

You wish you had half the confidence I do. Like. Genuinely. I'm here living my life and just being who I am...and some of you just can't handle that. You don't really hate me. Or even my politics. The issue isn't whether I'm a bad artist or the wrong kind of feminist. The only thing you really hate is that I can sit here and say "however painful gender dysphoria is, gender identity doesn't change biological sex and sex matters in some circumstances", and not even blink as I do.

That is literally all any of you really care about. But none of you can even come out and admit it.

So instead of trying to debate, say, how exactly transition makes you the opposite sex as opposed to medically disguising your sex to allieviate your discomfort, or how exactly the act of changing your gender identity can make someone gain or lose attraction to you, or exactly how gender identity based attraction can work when most of us can get crushes or feel attraction prior to knowing how one identifies...

You just call me transphobic and make a bunch of insulting comments. Because you're a coward who can't or won't form a coherant fact based argument.

I don't hate you, anon, and once again, I don't hate trans people. Gender dysphoria is a horrible thing to have, and living in a society that hates same sex attraction and gender non conformity makes it worse. If transition ends up being the only thing that gives you a quality of life, so be it, I just want you to be safe whilst you do it. The only "but" here is that it doesn't change your biological sex, and unfortunately you need to come to terms with that, and the fact that sometimes that matters.

See, learning the facts, saying them aloud, being able to tell people they're wrong and you know that because you were wrong too once...it takes confidence. Confidence you wish you had and that clearly you don't have because otherwise you wouldn't be here dissing my art like a child.

But please, at least just admit what your real issue with me is instead of forever sending whatever mean thoughts you have in your head at the time.

[lexpressobean]

Thoughts on Kikaichu as actual Parasites.

Knowing how skin and the body generally works on a medical level, the "hive" aspect of the Aburame clan really drives me crazy. 'Cause parasites are real, obviously, but the size of Kikaichu beetles makes absolutely no sense in comparison to irl skin parasites. At least not in a bee hive sort of way lol

rambling because my mind craves logic and I'm specializing as a wound care nurse but it's literally anime so what do I expect lol

No, wounds don't freak me out, I'm more terrified of generally handling vomit and babies than I am a dehiscence of a 15cm long surgical site lol. The human body can literally take so much abuse before it really starts to give and try to alert you that you need help! And once you give it help, it really can come full circle to the wound 100% looking like it was never there. The body is an amazing thing <3

However the first thing that comes to mind when I hear the word "parasite" is always going to be "tapeworm". That's not gonna change. However, kikaichu are not worms and CERTAINLY don't grow that fucking huge or live that long. (A tape worm can live long enough to graduate with a fucking PhD. Can you believe?) I haven't been exposed to any urgent situations involving parasites yet, however, the one I would compare a Kikaichu to that is (unfortunately) also common is the scabies mite.

Very briefly, scabies mites (Sarcoptes scabiei) are technically a type of arachnid that grow no bigger than a bout 0.5mm in size, but CAN be seen with the naked eye if you're looking for them. They crawl around the skin and burrow specifically in the top layer of skin, called the epidermis. The epidermis is that protective layer of skin and can be between 0.5mm to 1.5mm thick depending on which part of the body you're looking at. After the epidermis, you have the dermal layer, which is where sweat glands, nerves, and capillaries are found. Scabie mites will not burrow that deep because they only burrow to lay their eggs and such. As they do this they can cause visible tunnels and other marks that can be mistaken for acne or other skin conditions if not properly identified. You'll most likely know because the itch is VERY BAD.

They're very easily spread by close contact and a scabies infestation needs to be treated with a prescribed pharmacological means.

However, kikaichu are definitely a lot bigger than 0.5mm. In the case of size, I would compare them at minimum to fruitflies/medflies, which grow up to 3-5mm and maximum to ladybugs 4-7mm.

3-7mm > 0.5-1.5mm... obviously. And the holes which Kikaichu swarm out of that the audience has seen before are about a size comparable Shino's nostrils, IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE!!

You're telling me those things were in his mouth?????????? S H I N O N O

That would mean, in realistic terms, the Kikaichu are fucking around in Shino's body to the bone and muscles and THAT'S A REALLY SCARY THOUGHT. Even just passing the epidermis to the dermis is alarming! Compared to the dry, protective epidermis that can and does take damage, the dermis can be 1-4mm thick depending on where you're looking and is where skin does it's business. All together that becomes 0.5-5.5mm of space BARELY big enough for a fruit fly do mess around in. It makes just enough sense in terms of THAT size, but last time I checked, having the skin penetrated to the dermal layer is just asking for infection to happen. You're first natural line of defense has been breeched, there's a pretty good chance you're gonna be bleeding (blood vessels) and general body fluids are going to be draining, which is bad for a multitude of reasons, and there's damage that gonna affect the nerves, and realistically this shit is going to be ABSOLUTELY painful if they're constantly manipulating those areas near nerves. These kinda of things CAN make new connections and things like that, sometimes damage is forever. (Case by case basis).

So my first thought to more or less "magically" solve the problem with anime logic, is that first of all, it's an anime and logic doesn't have to apply haha.

On a more sci-fi level, in which kikaichu are smaller than we've seen them shown, maybe they have been purposefully been allowed to burrow into the dermal layer of the skin at least because the blood vessels seem to be in direct contact with the chakra system. Kikaichu's prefered food is chakra, but they WILL mutiny and eat their respective Aburame from the inside out if they don't balance their chakra smartly. So it's safe to say Kikaichu are at least carnivorous as well, and so I only imagine these absolute nightmares would swarm their prey in the wild, and actively bite through and burrow into the body of the prey until they found the chakra system and went to town on that poor unfortunate soul. Eaten alive, how the hell did they "tame" them in the first friggin' place??

I like to think two things:

1) Kikaichu are passed down from parent to child, and the parent has control over the Kikaichu until they have been RIGOROUSLY trained for generations to comprehend that this baby/child isn't food, it's a new hive. If bees can comprehend time, Kikaichu can comprehend what an Aburame is. If they insist on trying to drain the babe or the babe just can't tolerate them, the parent takes the Kikaichu back and the babe is assigned another insect or position in general. Like hell they're gonna try to force a relationship like that.

2) As part of the successful symbiotic relationship, Kikaichu regularly debride the tunnels and borrows that they carve into their respective Aburame, and are naturally intuitive in avoiding as many nerves and blood vessels as possible. The chance of infection is never 0%, however, kikaichu are pretty good about taking care of their tunnels, and so it gives the Aburame more time to focus on their things, like increasing the amount if chakra in their system. To ensure that they stay healthy, Aburame are encouraged to eat as much protein and Vit C possible every day, whether it be meat, beans, lentils, eggs, oranges, tomatoes, or even supplements as times modernize. The dermis is living tissue and as long as debridement/tunneling is going on, it needs to be nourished as much as possible.

I don't know how the hell Aburame deal with the obvious drainage that would be coming from their bodies, assuming the dermal layer really is free game for the Kikaichu. But the magical solution is that... they don't? Because... drainage is minimal. The Kikaichu just do such a good job lol. Maybe they purposefully... carve entrances to be flappy, or they purposefully create pocket spaces underneath seemingly healed areas of skin to easily burst open when necessary. That's the biggest thing for me, leaking body fluids. There's no way around that shit besides straight up denial lol Maybe they wear a special kind of dressing underneath their clothes, or that's directly applied with their clothes. Maybe that's what that cute little backpack is filled with, who knows!!

Idk man. I'm sure the Aburame authority forces encourages many of their non-hive members to pursue medical nin training in order to give the clan more privacy in general too. All medics that claim the Aburame name are exclusively used by the Aburame Clan. A non-Aburame medic may end up healing tunnels and burrows that were meant to stay open because "oops" and now you have an X amount of insects possibly suffocating within a completely sealed pocket of the skin, and also now there's a very good chance that after those insects die, that whole area is gonna frickin' abscess and cause infection induced tunnels the longer it's left alone and GROSS THAT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN! THERE IS A DELICATE, ORGANIZED, SELF-SUFFICENT PROCESS TO ALL THIS!! A PROCESS!!!

Like... the other ninja in the NartVerse can make as many jokes, jabs, and comments about the Aburame as they please (INO? BITCH??? but to be honest I still love her lol). But these MFers are constantly playing Russian Roulette with these high maintenance demon spawn from hell, and there are VERY little defences against Kikaichu, virtually none. Like the only thing I've ever seen actively thwart Kikaichu across all media is killing them with mass fire, countering them with large amounts of poison gas (both very exterminator like) or literally just feeding them chakra until they're so stupid full, they can't move, the little gluttons. As far as genjutsu, it's been stated that it's both effective and ineffective, so idk about that. But the Aburame are just SO set up to be the living breathing embodiment of Shinobi as defined by the NartVerse. They're whole clan culture relies on the threat of enemies. If they have no enemies, the whole relationship is an exhausting endeavor for literally no reason. It's not worth it if there's no one to fight or protect! But when there is a threat, you want them on YOUR side.

I suppose the best bet is to incapacitate the Aburame individual asap and the Kikaichu will tend the individual, making escape easier. But, if you DID manage to kill that Aburame right away, that particular Aburame's swarm is now suddenly without its food source and without restraint.

What do you THINK is gonna happen, bro?? The second an Aburame loses their grip on their consciousness due to external influences, the bugs go bonkers because I'm pretty sure Kikaichu are simply persuaded to be in this relationship and have NO tolerance for bullshit like alcohol and overheating temps. If their Aburame dies, they probably cause just as much chaos as they would as a wild, unattended swarm. Then YOU BETTER HAVE fire or poison gas or SOMETHING handy. The only way to calm them down is to offer them chakra and a new host with equal or even more chakra reserves. Otherwise the mutineers must be eradicated.

And for serious... Like, any deeper and the kikaichu would be in the hypodermal/subcutaneous layer of the skin and that's where a lot of connective tissue is located. Let's NOT mess with that shit, shall we? NOT a good idea. It's called connective tissue for a reason first and foremost...