#so. i saved myself. i forced myself to get better without the help of anyone else out of sheer spite.

[dilfismz]

Hi! Can you write jealous professor dom!cho sangwoo x student sub!reader. Can you make sangwoo become real mad and some spanking too? Thank you so so much 🥹🥹

Mine

Summary: Turns out Professor Cho doesn’t like it when stupid young boys touch what’s his.

A/N: there are a few flashback scenes in order to build a backstory so don’t be confused!

Warnings: age gap, inappropriate teacher/student relationship, spanking, some degradation?, p in v, no prep (Sangwoo is desperate), dom/sub dynamics, and hair pulling.

In all honesty, you and Professor Cho had become close by complete accident. If you could even call it close…more so acquainted. You could recall every detail of your night spent together as if it had just occurred. Every single time you step foot into his lecture hall you can’t help but reminisce.

⋆ ──── ❍ Δ □ ──── ⋆

The bar was quiet that night, many students in their dorms studying for finals. Luckily for you, yours had concluded in one long, godforsaken day. It was tough but the reward was getting to celebrate the end of the semester early.

Sliding into a seat with your friend you spot him. He was seated a few spots down, leaning casually against the bar. He looked out of place in his crisp, tailored shirt and sharp jawline—older than most of the patrons and far more composed. His presence seemed to draw attention without trying, though he didn’t seem interested in anyone else around him.

You weren’t sure why you caught his eye, but you did. His gaze lingered on you for a moment before he spoke, his deep voice cutting through the noise.

“Not a regular here, are you?”

You smiled faintly, shaking your head. “Does it show?”

“Just a little,” he said, taking a sip from his glass. “You seem…young for this crowd.”

The comment made your cheeks flush slightly, but you held his gaze. “Maybe. But you don’t exactly blend in yourself.”

He chuckled, low and warm, and moved to sit closer. “Fair enough. I’m Sangwoo.”

You gave your name, and from there, the conversation flowed with surprising ease. You told him about your studies, your aspirations, and the stress that had driven you here tonight. He listened intently, asking thoughtful questions that felt more probing than casual small talk.

“I have to say,” he murmured at one point, leaning in just slightly, “I don’t usually find myself talking like this with someone… your age.”

You shrugged, trying to ignore the way your pulse quickened. “Maybe age doesn’t matter as much as you think.”

He studied you for a moment, his gaze flicking to your lips before returning to your eyes. “Maybe.”

The air between you shifted, heavy and undeniable. When he suggested leaving, you didn’t hesitate.

The night blurred into stolen kisses in the cab, whispered words, and the heat of his hands on your skin. You fell into his bed with reckless abandon, the difference in your years forgotten in the haze of passion.

The next morning, sunlight streamed through the curtains, forcing your eyes open. The unfamiliar room was quiet, save for the soft sound of breathing beside you.

You turned your head to see Sangwoo lying on his back, his arm resting over his eyes. The sharp lines of his face were softened by the light, but there was a tension in his expression that hadn’t been there the night before.

“Good morning,” you said quietly, unsure of what else to say.

He let out a soft sigh, finally lowering his arm to look at you. His eyes were darker now, clouded with something that felt like regret.

“This… probably shouldn’t have happened,” he said, his voice low.

The words stung, even though you’d expected them. “Why not?”

He sat up, running a hand through his hair. “You’re young. Too young to be tangled up with someone like me.” His tone wasn’t harsh, but there was a firmness to it that made your stomach twist.

You sat up too, pulling the sheet around you. “You didn’t seem to mind last night.”

“That was a mistake,” he said, glancing at you briefly before looking away. “I should’ve known better.”

The silence that followed was heavy, the warmth of the night before replaced with a cold, sinking feeling. You wanted to say something, to argue that you were old enough to make your own decisions, but the look on his face stopped you.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured, standing and reaching for his shirt. “You’re… incredible. But this can’t happen again.”

As he moved about the room, dressing and avoiding your gaze, you couldn’t help but wonder if you’d ever been more than a fleeting distraction to him.

⋆ ──── ❍ Δ □ ──── ⋆

Another thing you always thought of when you’d step into Professor Cho’s room is the moment you’d realized just how disastrous your night together actually was.

The first day of the new semester carried the usual energy—a mix of fresh starts and quiet dread. Students milled into the lecture hall, some chatting excitedly, others scrolling through their phones or sipping lukewarm coffee. You were somewhere in the middle, adjusting the strap of your bag as you stepped into the massive room.

You hadn’t given much thought to your schedule beyond the requirements you needed to fill. This class—some upper-level finance course you had reluctantly signed up for—was just another stepping stone toward your degree. You were more concerned with surviving the workload than anything else.

That was, until you looked up.

Your heart nearly stopped.

There, standing at the podium, flipping through a stack of papers with an air of quiet authority, was him.

Cho Sangwoo.

Your throat went dry.

For a second, you thought you had to be mistaken. But there was no mistaking him—not the sharp jawline, not the dark, intelligent eyes that had lingered on you once in the glow of a streetlamp, not the hands you could still feel on your skin if you let your mind wander too far.

You froze mid-step, the chatter of the other students fading into white noise. The last time you’d seen him, he had been pulling his shirt over his head in a dimly lit bedroom, his words clipped, his expression guarded.

“This can’t happen again.”

And yet, here you were.

And here he was.

As if sensing your gaze, Sangwoo glanced up from his notes.

The reaction was instant.

His confident posture faltered, his fingers tightening slightly around the edges of his papers. His brows lifted just barely before his eyes widened in unmistakable shock. You saw the exact moment recognition hit him, watched the composed, professional mask he undoubtedly wore every day crack—just for a second.

A blush rose to his face.

It was slight, barely there, but enough for you to notice. Enough for you to know that despite his careful words that morning, despite whatever lines he had drawn in his mind between you, the sight of you standing in his lecture hall had caught him completely off guard.

The confident, articulate professor—who had surely done this a thousand times, who commanded rooms full of students without hesitation—had lost his composure.

Your stomach twisted.

For a fleeting moment, it felt like you were back in that dimly lit bar, your bodies too close, your words laced with the kind of reckless flirtation that had led to this. The memory burned through you so suddenly that you were sure it showed on your face.

But then, just as quickly as the moment had come, you watched him shove it back down.

Sangwoo cleared his throat sharply, turning his attention back to his papers. The color in his face faded as he schooled his expression into something unreadable, his professional demeanor snapping back into place like a steel trap.

But you had seen it.

You had felt it.

And now, you had to sit through an entire semester pretending it had never happened.

Swallowing hard, you forced yourself to move, slipping into a seat near the middle of the lecture hall. Around you, students continued their chatter, completely unaware of the silent war raging inside your head—or his.

Sangwoo took a breath, straightened his tie, and finally spoke. His voice was steady, controlled.

“Good morning. Welcome to Financial Strategies.”

If you hadn’t seen the way his hands curled slightly against the podium, you might have believed he was completely unaffected.

But you had seen it.

And you weren’t sure either of you would be able to ignore it.

That day, after class ended you sat frozen in your seat, your fingers gripping the edge of your desk as if that could steady the storm of emotions brewing inside you.

Sangwoo hadn’t looked at you once throughout the entire lecture.

Not directly, at least.

Instead, his eyes had skimmed over you like you were just another student, his voice measured, his posture rigid. But there were moments—fleeting, barely-there moments—where his fingers tensed slightly on the podium, where his breath hitched in the smallest, most imperceptible way before he forced himself forward.

And now, as you remained seated while the rest of the students shuffled out, he still wouldn’t meet your gaze.

“Stay after,” he had said near the end of class, his voice neutral, yet somehow sharp.

You knew this conversation was coming. There was no avoiding it.

Sangwoo stood by his desk now, organizing papers that didn’t need organizing, straightening his laptop screen only to close it again. It was almost frustrating—watching him fidget with anything but you.

Finally, he exhaled through his nose, as if bracing himself.

“If you wish to remain in this class,” he started, his voice clipped, “you will forget about what happened between us.”

You swallowed, gripping your bag strap tightly, but said nothing.

He continued, his expression carefully blank, though you could see the tension in his jaw. “It was… inappropriate. A mistake.” His fingers curled around the edge of his desk, the only sign that his control wasn’t as steady as he wanted it to be. “And it cannot affect your education.”

Your throat felt tight.

He was speaking to you as though that night had been some careless accident, as though it hadn’t been charged with something real. And yet, even as he spoke, his voice was too deliberate, too forced, like he was convincing himself as much as he was convincing you.

But you didn’t miss the way his fingers twitched slightly against the desk.

Your gaze dropped to his hands—the same slender hands that had once roamed your body, tracing paths of fire along your skin.

You could still feel them if you thought about it long enough. The way they had tangled in your hair, how his fingertips had brushed over your bare waist with aching slowness, how they had tightened possessively around your wrist just before he kissed you—

“Are you listening?”

Your head snapped up.

Sangwoo was watching you now, his brow furrowed slightly, his lips pressed together in a thin line.

You nodded, trying to ignore the heat rising in your face.

He exhaled sharply, dragging a hand down his face before crossing his arms. “Good,” he muttered. “Because I can’t have distractions in my classroom. Whatever… that was, it’s over. Understood?”

His words were cruelly impersonal, but his body language betrayed him. The stiffness of his shoulders, the way he seemed almost restless standing still, as if part of him wanted to move, to do something else.

You wondered if he was remembering it, too.

The weight of him pressing you into the mattress. The way he had looked at you, his usual self-control slipping with every kiss, every touch.

You sat up a little straighter, ignoring the pang in your chest. “Understood,” you said quietly, though the words felt like a lie.

For a moment, he didn’t move.

His fingers tapped once against the desk. Then again.

Then, as if snapping himself out of something, he turned away, collecting his things with more force than necessary. “You’re dismissed,” he said, not looking at you.

You hesitated.

But there was nothing left to say.

So you grabbed your bag and walked toward the door, feeling his eyes on your back even though he had told himself not to look.

————-

Now here you are today and you have done exactly what Sangwoo asked.

For months, you kept your distance, pretending as though nothing had ever happened between you. No lingering glances, no hesitation when he called on you in class, no trace of the night you had spent tangled in his sheets. You became cold, detached—indifferent.

And it was driving him insane.

At first, he convinced himself that this was what he wanted. That this was the right thing.

But then Jisoo happened.

A boy your age. Bright-eyed, eager, always quick with a joke that made you laugh—actually laugh. You had never laughed like that in his class before. Not when you were with him.

Sangwoo ignored it at first.

But then it happened again.

And again.

Soft whispers shared between the two of you, your heads leaning close as if nothing else in the room existed. His blood simmered every time Jisoo touched your arm, every time he caught you smiling at him—every time he saw you looking at Jisoo the way you used to look at him.

But today was the worst of it.

Today, Jisoo had whispered something in your ear, and your face had gone warm—cheeks flushed, lips parting just slightly in surprise before you giggled.

Sangwoo gripped his pen so hard it nearly snapped.

The moment class ended, his voice cut through the murmurs of students packing up their things.

“Stay after.”

Jisoo glanced at you, curious. You barely reacted, nodding as you finished gathering your notes.

The last student filtered out.

The door clicked shut.

Silence.

Sangwoo remained standing at the front of the classroom, bracing his hands against the desk, his head tilted downward. You could see the tension in him—the way his fingers curled, the way his breaths left him in slow, controlled exhales.

You knew this was coming.

You waited.

And then, finally, he spoke.

“Tell me,” his voice was low, measured. “Do you plan to seduce him the way you seduced me?”

Your heart stuttered.

The accusation hung heavy between you, thickening the air, making it harder to breathe.

“What?”

Sangwoo lifted his gaze, and for the first time in months, his carefully constructed mask had cracked.

No indifference. No feigned professionalism. Only raw frustration—barely-restrained jealousy simmering beneath the surface.

He took a step forward, slow and deliberate.

“You heard me,” he murmured, his voice dark. “Is that your plan? To make him desperate for you? To make him think, even for a second, that he can satisfy you the way I did?”

Heat pooled in your stomach, but you forced yourself to hold his gaze. “That’s not—”

He scoffed. “Not what?” Another step forward. “Not true? You don’t think I see the way he looks at you? The way you let him lean into you, whisper in your ear?”

His jaw clenched.

“Do you think he can touch you like I did?” His voice dropped lower, barely above a whisper. “Think he can even attempt to please you?”

Your breath hitched.

Your fingers curled into fists at your sides, knuckles whitening. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you forced out.

His lips quirked up—not in amusement, but something far crueler.

“Liar.”

Your stomach flipped.

You hated how easily he unraveled you.

Sangwoo exhaled slowly, dragging a hand through his hair. “I shouldn’t care,” he muttered, more to himself than to you. “I told myself I wouldn’t.”

You swallowed hard.

“But then I see you with him,” he continued, his voice quieter now. “I see you laughing, smiling, and I—” He cut himself off, exhaling sharply as if disgusted by the confession sitting on his tongue.

Your pulse pounded in your ears.

“You’ve been punishing me,” he murmured. “All these months, Ive been trying to forget, trying to pretend it never happened—but it did. And here you are pulling this shit right in front of me.”

His fingers twitched.

“And it still matters to you…”, you intended to ask but it came out more like a statement.

Sangwoo inhaled sharply, and before you could react, his hand shot out—grasping your wrist.

Your breath caught.

His fingers, long and slender, wrapped around your skin. Not tight. Not pulling. Just holding.

A mistake.

A reckless, dangerous mistake.

But neither of you moved to stop it.

“You don’t get it,” he murmured, his voice lower, almost pained. “I broke the rules for you once.”

Your throat went dry.

His fingers slid down, tracing your palm before hesitantly releasing you.

Then, barely above a whisper—so quiet you almost missed it—he admitted:

“I think I’d break them again.”

Your stomach clenched.

Sangwoo exhaled slowly, looking at you as if he were already regretting saying it out loud. But it was there now. It couldn’t be unsaid.

For the first time in months, he wasn’t telling you to forget.

He wasn’t telling you to leave.

Instead, his voice was quiet. Measured. Unsteady.

“Stay, it’s your turn to be punished.”

You take a tentative step in his direction, testing the waters. Sangwoo blinks slowly, looking you up and down, “You stay there”, he commands while walking to the lecture hall door. He locks it with a flick of his wrist and returns.

He sits on his chair behind the large desk he often spends hours sitting at. He spreads his thighs, patting them expectantly.

You take this as a sign to straddle him but he immediately grunts in dissatisfaction. “No, bend over my knees, face down ass up”.

You flush at the command, all self respect fleeing your body as you comply without a second thought.

Tch tch

He clicks his tongue mockingly, all while lifting your skirt up to expose your plump ass, barely covered by a tiny thong.

“Now did you wear this for me or him”, Sangwoo asks, a scowl etched onto his features.

“You Sangwoo, always for you-”, before you could finish your sentence a loud smack echoes throughout the lecture room. Before you can even register the pain another red hot slap lands on your bottom, leaving you breathless.

“It’s sir”, he commands, a shit eating grin already overtaking his features.

“Y-yes sir”, you respond.

“Good fucking slut, finally you do something right. Maybe I should’ve done this right away, then we never would have had that silly little problem huh?”

You simply nod, his words going in one ear and out the other. Sangwoo pulls your hair harshly, forcing your head back to look at him.

“Speak when you’re spoken to”, he commands, his other hand landing another firm slap to your stinging ass.

“Yes sir-“, you moan as he kneeds the sensitive flesh, “-wish you would’ve done this sooner.”

He nods in approval, forcing you off of his legs and pushing you against his desk.

You can hear him unbuckle his belt and all but shake with anticipation. You’ve waited oh so long to feel him again.

Suddenly his swollen tip is prodding at your entrance, your thong pulled to the side. Sangwoo lets out a heavy sigh and declares, “I’ve waited way too damn long to do this again…now tell me have you been whoring around campus or is the last time your pussy got stretched with me?”

“Y-you sir, haven’t done anything since that night”, you splutter out, backing up into him, hoping he’ll just push in already.

“Good girl, that’s what I like to hear”, he says right before completely bottoming out in one harsh thrust.

Sangwoo doesn’t start out gentle, he keeps thrusting into you slowly but oh so roughly. You swear you can feel him reaching spots even he didn’t hit last time.

Your eyes roll into the back of your head as his hands grip your hips with a bruising force. He scoffs at your desperate mewls, “I won’t last long sweetheart so you’re gonna take what I give you and be grateful, ya?”

“Yes sir”

Sangwoo can feel his glasses slipping down his nose as his pace quickens. The entire room is filled with the sound of skin slapping against skin and its filthy.

“Please don’t stop sir I’m close”, you beg as you feel that all too familiar feeling within you.

He doesn’t stop. His hands gripping you even tighter as he grits his teeth, cock twitching as your gummy walls suck him in.

“Fuck, it’s like this pussy was made for me, can’t believe I stayed away for so long”, he gasps out.

That’s all the praise you needed to reach your peak. Your walls spasm around Sangwoo and he continues his assault on your insides, coming to an abrupt stop as you feel his warm seed fill you up.

The both of you are a panting mess and he runs his hands through his own hair, pushing him glasses back up his nose.

When Sangwoo finally pulls out he sighs and looks at your pathetic form in front of him.

“Clean yourself up and we’ll have a serious conversation about how this arrangement is gonna work.”

[fenrysmoonbeamswife]

"Nesta is a bitch but I love her" "Nesta is cruel" "Nesta's actions shouldn't be justified" "Nesta needs to make up for what she did" "Trauma doesn't excuse her shitty behaviour" "Nesta is so mean" "Nesta is morally grey" "I hate Nesta for what she did" "Nesta made mistakes" "Nesta needs to be held accountable for the things she did"

Where????????? What things???????

I feel like people latch on to these narratives without any thought to them. Anytime someone says something along the lines of this^ shite they can only back it up with the same crap that they all spout. Like the words people use are so over the top, please give me an example of actual full blown cruelty from Nesta? Because I can write a fucking bible on each and every person in Feysand's little circle but no one seems to care about that. So why is it okay for the rest of them but not Nesta when they are all 100x worse. And if you want to go there with hOw ShE tReAtEd FeYrE, they were both as bad as each other so get t'fuck. And the way the Inner Circle treat people? There's a reason the only ones who seem to like them are each other.

Nesta isn't a bitch, she sets boundaries

Nesta is not cruel, she can be cold

What fucking actions? What did she do? Saving everyone? Multiple times? Setting aside her own trauma for her sister for months? Going to find Feyre? Helping them win the war? And make up for her actions? Hasn't this woman done enough? When does it end??

What shitty behaviour? Saying no? Not acting like the IC are gods?

Nesta is mean when provoked. One of these days I will force myself to get through a reread this stupid series and highlight every time she is mean and oh look you'll see someone else fucking started it. She is not mean for defending herself or for being better at it

Nesta is not morally grey, this girl could not have more set morals if she tried. That is literally one of the biggest reasons she doesn't get on with Rhysand

Again what did she do????

What mistakes???? Oh she didn't parent her sister??? She didn't accept Papa Archerons neglect?? She didn't drag Feyre back kicking and screaming from the woods?? She didn't get herself killed hunting?? She wasn't interested in a man who treated her like prey?? She doesn't give a fuck about your high lord?? She doesn't like Mor's dress?? Oh, prison immediately then

She has been held accountable 100 times over. She has been held accountable for things she did, things she didn't do, things other people did. She is literally held accountable for just sitting there so when the fuck does she get a break?? Even a crumb of the amount that the rest of them do? Why is this woman in her 20s who is suffering who is thrown into a new shitty life TWICE against her will and literally just doing the best she can, why is she the one that everyone decides is the devil incarnate?? No no not the guy who slaughtered an entire village and stalked, harassed and abused a young traumatized girl. No not the guy who did despicable things for the villain (I don't give two flying fucks about his mask because at what time is this supposed mask coming off exactly??), sexually assaulted a young traumatized girl and then sexually assaulted her again and hid life threatening information from her. Not the guy who literally tortures people for a living, granted I give him leeway because he doesn't seem to actually enjoy it and I more blame Rhys for this but still. Not the woman who said a girl at her worst was a "pathetic waste of life" and is a nasty piece of shit every time she opens her mouth. Not the woman who acts like she's the only victim to ever exist and uses absolutely none of the power she holds to help anyone else. Not the girl who abandoned and berated the sister who helped her through her trauma, setting aside her own I might add, and protected her for her entire life, for the other sister as soon as she got rich. Not the girl who created thousands of refugees by taking down an entire court to get back at her ex, who locked her own sister up after talking about how traumatizing that was for her. And I could go ON.

No we will hate on the one that SJM tells us to hate because we can't think for ourselves, clearly. The IC stans share one braincell collectively between them all istg

[zenkor123]

"What are you doing here?"

Why her, almost anyone in the squad would be better, I now know for sure she is stubborn. I feel that feeling again, it’s in my chest, and stomach whenever I’m in the same room as her. 

 "Do you have a death wish? Who allowed you back?"

Yesterday she tried to put on a show at my expense, this isn’t a game, is she trying to get herself killed? I begin lose my grip on reality, my head begins to throb and I hear voices “she screamed” the screams of the capitolites whose lives I ended play and I feel angry. They aren’t REAL, THEY AREN’T REAL!

"Boggs sent me"

Katniss says trying to sound confident. Well shit.

"They say I'm supposed to tell you fucking everything, here you go, there are voices in the walls, and scary illusions, they aren't even real! EVERYTHING IS SHINY!  

I can’t hold on and it’s all caused by her, damn you Katniss. 

"I'm not sure you won't just shoot your enemy if it comes down to it. GET OUT, GET OUT, GET OUT!!!! DAMN IT!!"

I am the worst thing that happened to her, she would benefit from my death.  I feel a burst of anger at her, and try to remember what Prim told me. Before I catch myself pointing my gun at her, it worked with her lover Gale, maybe  it will work with her, the voices in the walls say. No, stop it. The voices in the walls recall Ford's words “ Can you kill him if it really came down to it” play the glass breaking and the noises she made  as I almost  snuffed the life out of her.  The commander knows about the incapacitator, she would not need to kill me, just turn me off. She never answered his question and Boggs has no doubt, that’s why he  dived to stop her mouth, it's why I was knocked out. I’m about to incapacitate her until she says. 

"First off you don't know how to shoot properly..." Katniss says.

Peeta: "There NOT REAL!"

Could she be right? I'm just getting the hang of this thing, and the officers at fort Alma said my aim was piss poor.  I remember the footage of the first  hunger games,  why did she save Peeta Mellark, the boy who chained her to himself. Maybe she just wanted to save a life, now is not the time to think of this,  this was before I forced myself on her, this was before a year of the soul crushing act, this was before I strangled her. When she was in the games, she tried to kill me, when her survival depended  on my death just like it must be to her now. 

“I know you must be thinking of the games, I joined the careers and helped them hunt you down, dropped the nest on us.... when we had you treed. TREED!!! if you quit the ..., ugh, ugh! You... will be safe....be safe, run, run!"

crack, crack, crack, whish, whish, lash, lash,

It was my first exposure to Tracker Jacker Venom, and all she needs to do to live is leave me the fuck alone, I mentally prepared myself for my military duty to 13 but it wasn’t enough, no it wasn’t enough. And how do you miss a leg? She does not respond, staring at my gun, my hands are disobeying me and pointing  it at her. “Shoot her” “Shoot her” Him says. It will hurt her so much to be shot in the leg, isn’t there another way. 

“Your guards are here to help” I remember my doctor telling me,  I try to focus. And why would she kill me, she wants to prove something, she wants to be successful at putting her assassin mutt on his knees. I was  mutated to kill her, perhaps my hijacking wants me to shoot her. 

"It's the Mockingjay's talons; they must have some armor on em." "N0!!!!" Incoherent words. "Kaaatnissss "Katnisssss" "Katniiss" "THEY'RE COMING!' "RUUN!" "RUN!!"

I shake my head, but that isn't the only motion I'm making

Katnissssss,, The whistle goes off, an avox, shining armor, lizards begin ripping off an arm, a leg, "Katnissssss, Kattnisssss"

What does my life mean to her? I’m not fully human to her, if I die and she lives she will be free but if I kill her, I will be nothing, a mutt without its target has run its course, the way  a  one use tool becomes redundant once used. I try breathing exercises, but I can’t calm down, I try to fight it. I squeeze my gun, if she decides to kill me, I will be helpless. I lick my lips to feel something, I can see her leg, my fingers are numb. I drop my gun  to the ground. And go to my back as if to beg for mercy just like when I was little. I see test subject 321 holding her whip, no its me, and I didn't use a whip, I used my bare hands. I try to say “please” Him says “You should have shot her, now you will fail 13”  I wonder what the rest of the squad is thinking and the same rage I felt when I threw her returns. Him says “I will give her one more chance” I feel the urge to shoot not one bullet but all the bullets into 111's leg. I mean Katniss, I never begged for mercy in the capitol and I won't start now. I look up, defiant and think of picking up the gun so I can incapacitate her.

Hyperventilating Moaning in pain

No, I resist this urge and bite the hand that moves towards the gun. My hands, my hands, where they were before? I see her eyes, they feel real, silver shining but not like a Jackered memory. She locks them on to me. I feelppppp ml l just a tiny tether. The rest of her body becomes visible, I hear a beeping sound and  a voice that's sort of familiar  veteos the remote incapacitator. Things can't be this bad if they aren't knocking me out. Katniss, why hasn't she pressed the incapacitator. 

I say to her

"Damn It, knock me out!”

I say with a gentle urgency   I try to be nice, it's not her fault she is here, otherwise Boggs would have removed her. Given the way I'm acting to her, and the sight I must present, why would she want to be on the rotation.

That's all I can say, like a demented nutcase. 

Katniss says "I'm not allowed to knock you out yet, I'm sorry"

“What the fuck, the faith 13 has in me! It's so pure, this is so much harder then I thought, I can't do it.... I'm your enemy! and ...... I can't fight it. YOUR, a target.., you're going to die!!! Ugh I tried, I tried to have the draft... Postponed. " "I'm so sorry Katniss"

I add

"That I am your end"

everyone says I'm good with words but now I'm pathetic reduced to a gibbering mess by Katniss. I find comfort in what Delly calls my "inability to cry" I will not be shedding any tears.

I am paralyzed with a primal fear, stemming from my hijacking, I'm frozen and numb. I don't care what cutting thing she says back. I don't care at all. The hallucinations and Him can knock all they want but I won't answer. I will incapacitate myself. Why isn't Katniss doing everything possible to quit, even if she was ordered? I try to break out and reach out to her.

“And it's not your.....IT'S NOT YOUR, fault... you're not to blame for it, and, and, and AND! you're not here....by choice." Hyperventilating "You,.. have no reason to spare me... Kill me please! I will go on a mutt rampage, I'll snap necks THROW THEM IN THE AIR!!" Moans in pain "I will RIP THEM OFF" "I WILL KILL YOU ALL!!"

Hyperventilating

"It's time" "Finish it" "Finish me!" "DO IT!!" "NOW!!" "No, I'll do it!"

Him yells "come on Pussy do it yourself" I reach my gun to permanently incapacitate myself before I change my mind but Katniss takes my gun before I can.

"Hey, Give it back!"

Note

Katniss is banned from using the incapacitator In the first 30 minutes of her rotation.

[intimidating-fettuccine]

Therapeutic. Jeff x Reader. CW: Hurt/comfort, depression, anxiety, personal comfort fic that's relatable enough to post, talk of struggles and life being fucking shit, left mostly vague intentionally, Jeff trying to be a good boyfriend.

“It’s been hard on you, hasn’t it?” His words catch you off guard, jolting as he plops down next to you on the old couch in the basement. 

You avert your eyes, choosing to stare at the pictures decorating the walls instead, forcing a smile onto your face and a laugh out of your chest. 

“I’m fine, Jeff, you know that. I can handle myself.” Your words do little to convince him, and his gaze pierces through you, causing you to shift anxiously. 

“How many nights have you helped me when I’m broken down? When I keep insisting I can keep going, that I’m fine? How many of my fake smiles have you seen through that nobody else has noticed?” His voice is calming, and he leans back onto the couch, resting his arm on top of it as a silent invitation in case you need to move closer to him for comfort.

“That’s different…” You whisper as you wrap your arms around yourself, and he watches you in concern, just barely resisting the urge to pull you closer.

“Because you think your problems aren’t as bad as mine?” You remain silent at his question, and he breathes a sigh as his gaze turns to worry. 

“Pain isn’t felt equally, sweetheart… You know that. You know that everyone experiences things differently, and you shouldn’t compare your own stressors to mine.” There’s no condescension in his voice, and it coaxes you to relax into the arm of the couch, facing away from him. He hears you sniffle, and his face scrunches up, trying to hold himself together for you. 

“…But you… You’ve been through so much…! All of you have! And I just… I haven’t experienced those things, nothing even remotely close to it, and yet I…” You pause, and he remains silent, encouraging you to continue. “I can’t even handle this. I feel so fucking weak. You’ve all survived literal hell, and I can’t even handle much more normal struggles without falling apart. It’s not fair… I shouldn’t be struggling like this when you all have been through much worse.” 

“Sweetheart…” His voice betrays the calmness of his face, the pain in his voice causing you to shake as your tears touch your cheeks. “What did I tell you…? It’s not fair for anyone if you compare yourself to me, or anyone else. You’re right, we’ve all lived through hell, and sometimes it still feels like we’re there... But we’re the outliers. It’s normal to struggle, to feel depressed and anxious. Shit, a majority of us are depressed all the fucking time. That doesn’t mean you need to be brave and strong for us. I mean, we aren’t very strong either. We cry over what you consider mundane shit all the time, the same stuff that’s getting to you. Humans aren’t meant to deal with constant struggles and sadness.”

You continue to shake, trying to hold in your cries, and he shifts closer to you on the couch, your body sagging backward, begging you to get comfort from him, but your brain continues to tell you that you don’t deserve it, you haven’t earned it. 

“Please stop bullying yourself… It hurts me to see you this way. Everyone would feel better if you just admitted when things were hard, if you just came forward and asked for help, for comfort. I’d feel better. It’s not fair for you to struggle in silence because you think you’re too weak.”

You go to retort back to him that you’re saving them the extra work, but all that comes out are choked cries you’ve been holding in for weeks.

“Let me help you. Let me be your support, your shoulder to cry on. You’ve helped me through so much fucking shit, and I want more than anything to do the same for you.” He scoots a little bit closer again, and you break, turning around and crawling into his hold.

He cradles you into him, an arm around your back and his hand rubbing the back of your head as you weep into his chest. He occasionally presses kisses to your forehead that draw more sobs out of you as you cling to him. 

“Just let it out, sweetheart. Give all your pain to me.” He whispers into you, and you let out a loud sob you hope the others don’t hear upstairs.

“It just… IT SUCKS!! Life fucking SUCKS and I’m just— just supposed to know how to handle all this shit?!” You scream out, holding him as if he’s your only lifeline, and he nods along with you. “If it’s not one thing it’s another, and I’m in charge of myself, but I have to maintain connections to everyone around me, and I have to eat, and sleep, and work, and survive, and then something shitty happens and destroys me, so I don’t eat, and I don’t sleep, and I just wanna cry, but I can’t because I have to work and survive…! It’s just a fucking cycle of nothing but shit! It’s exhausting, and I fucking hate it!” You’re heaving and crying, and he continues to stroke your head comfortingly as he sighs.

“I hate it too, and it is shit. It’s unfair and absolutely ridiculous. But, it brought me to you, and you to me. It brings you home to me, where you can lay in bed with me, in those comfy pajamas you were so excited to get, to a freezer full of yummy ice cream, to a stereo to blast your favorite music on. Sometimes we get so caught up in all the shit that we forget all the good, and that takes us to dark places. Places that give us scars, and pain, and tears, and bitterness.” His hold tightens around you as you feel his tears running into your hair from where his cheek is squished against you. 

“Life brought me bad luck, shitty days, and more issues than anyone would ever want… But it also brought me you. It brought me you so you could remind me of the good, and so I could do the same for you. That’s what’s important.” Both of you continue to hold each other, your tears lessening as you lay there quietly, the ambiance of everyone moving around upstairs bringing a level of comfort to you that you haven’t felt in weeks. 

“Can we go upstairs, and take a warm shower..? I’ll get out your pajamas for you, grab that ice cream, and boot up the stereo. We could talk about it… Or we could just blast some music and sit in each other’s comfort?” He asks you softly, and you nod against him, moving further into his embrace. 

“Good.” He presses another kiss to your forehead and tightens his hold in one final embrace, your name softly flowing out of him. “Promise me something?” You look up at him, eyes red and face irritated, and nod.

“If you’re wading through shit, let me wade through it with you. Please, don’t hold things in anymore. Promise me?” He holds out his pinky delicately for you, and after scrunching up your face once more, you make a distressed noise of agreement, locking your pinky securely around his own.

“Good pet.” He coos at you affectionately, pressing soft kisses across your nose and cheeks before lifting you into his arms to carry you upstairs. 

You’d always thought it a burden to share your pain with others, thought it an inconvenience to them, thought it wrong… But now, held in his warm embrace with the promise of ice cream and cuddles soon to happen, it didn’t feel so bad at all, even if the weight was still in your heart… It felt more tolerable now. Jeff would continue to make you feel that way, make you understand it was okay to rely on him, on others, and that it benefited no one to suffer in silence, no matter how light or heavy the issue life dealt you.

Life fucking sucks, but it can choke on its misery. 

[arctophyllax]

*clears throat* why I think Larian should let us recruit Zevlor:

More people are desperate for Zevlor than I thought at first. We all want to see him happy. We all want him to get all that he deserves and more. He just has SO much potential, he’s such a well written character just for his story to get cut off so suddenly? Thinking about how badly his story was neglected by Larian after they made us so attached breaks my heart. Of all side characters we met along the acts he is undeniably one of the most important and memorable ones; we fought for him, we saved him, we helped him, hells we even get the option to reject his payment for us for helping him and his people.

We practically got nothing out of helping him, especially the ones who reject his payments and i find myself rejecting the payment every single playthrough because i can’t find it in my heart to take something away from people who have nothing left already. If you betray the tieflings you get Minthara- and yes that may cost you certain companions too, but wouldn’t it be fair to be able to have Zevlor at camp if we save his people? At least after we save him in act 2? That way it would still be optional but god I need him so badly, I need to see him happy, I need Larian to let me look after him and take care of him and make sure that he doesn’t drown in sorrow and I know everyone who reads this feels exactly the same.

He went through so much, and every time his hope returned it got shattered to bits again. And it just feels like we’re forced to “give up” on him after we let him wander away in act 2. It doesn’t feel right. It will never feel right. We saw how miserable he was in that pod, how distressed and in pain he was. Common sense would have told us to take him with us. Make sure he fucking survives the night without doing anything stupid. Clean him off the blood and clean him off his worries, all that self hatred.

God, do I so hate to see him in such distress. And while a tiny part of me believes that death might have actually been a small mercy for him I was and will never be ready to give up on him.

Every time I see him on that damned screen, every time he speaks and every time I witness him interact with someone I DON’T see an oathbreaker who failed his people and had to be saved from being consumed by the Absolute. All I see is a competent leader who carries a burden not meant to be carried by one person alone.

This has nothing to do with him being weak. This has nothing to to with him being incompetent or not careful enough. This has nothing to do with any lost faith or broken oath. This has to do with the fact that he is so selfless that he wouldn’t allow himself to share this burden with anyone.

Yes he has (had?) his fellow tieflings, he has Tilses right beside him all of the time. But did he ever open up to her? Does he ever accept any help from his own people while he knows that they are already suffering? Would he EVER allow ANY of these people to carry even a SLIVER of his burden?

No. He would not. He would NEVER let them bear any of those duties, he has seen them in way too much pain already, seen them suffer far too often.

He is the type who gives and gives and gives and he never takes. He doesn’t know how to take, take anything positive.

His past, his comrades, his Hellriders- yes he had them. They gave him as much as he gave them. But they got torn away from him, cruelly and mercilessly.

His people, the refugees, family- he had them. And they gave him the respect and admiration he deserved. But they got torn away from him. Cruelly. Mercilessly.

His saviour, us, Tav- he had us. But we left him. Because we had no choice. We watched him walk of as though it was nothing. Cruelly. Because we could do nothing else.

And yes, I will always see red at that. Because we SHOULD be able to do better. We shouldn’t be just another loss for him.

And I will personally fistfight Larian if it meant hope for just a single chance at giving Zevlor what he never allowed himself to have: stability, encouragement. Someone he can rely on and share his burden with. A rest. Peace.

(Larian do you hear me I am under your bed we are going to fight)

(Scratch would like him to stay at camp, too)

(And what Scratch wants, Scratch gets. Right?)

(No because when you talk to Scratch the second time at camp during the tiefling party he actually says that he wouldn’t mind if you kept the tieflings at camp… trust me, Scratch, i wouldn’t mind either)

…I’d honestly die for him who’s with me

[evita-shelby]

The Wreckage

sequel to Look Both Ways where we get the reason why Lily left and why Tommy and Eva couldn't make it work after she filed for divorce.

cw: refrenced suicide attempt, mental illnesses, unhealthy coping mechanisms, angst, drama, murder accusations.

you know something nice to distract yall from the US Elections tonight

@justrainandcoffee @littlepeakydevil @zablife @call-sign-shark @hoodeddreams13 @thegreatdragonfruta

After Eva had that vision of Lily blowing her brains out, she takes the first train back to Small Heath and gets there just in time to stop her.

They have a much-needed talk, it falls on Eva to convince the redhead that it is not her fault.

Considering they are all in various states of disrepair, the witch fucking hates to be the Strong one while the other two points of the triangle get to lose their shit about it. Eva is too busy trying to keep them from hurting themselves to even mourn her own loss.

Tommy isolated himself and got so drunk he ended up in a holding cell for his own safety, Lily ended up believing the Shelby Clan’s words that she shouldn’t have remained Tommy’s lover when he decided to court and marry Eva.

Eva barely had time to settle in leased townhouse the Riley Family use in London before the Universe decided she could not just wash her hands of them and move on with her life. She hates it when her powers force her to be a better person.

The witch had to explain how her previous relationships had not left her in the condition needed to accept having a man who is not entirely hers, how she knows they will all be the better for it and that if anyone is at fault it is Eva for being too desperate to avoid her impending execution.

“How do you hold yourself together like that?” Lily had asked as she confided in her about her plans to seek out her maternal family. She needed time as well, they all did.

“Because neither you nor Tommy have given me the chance to properly fall apart. It's easy to hold yourself together when you don't have a choice.” The witch admitted wryly, she was as honest with Lily as she was with Tommy ---sometimes she’d use it to purposely hurt them to assuage her need of space and the fear that Tommy didn’t love her as much as she did him. “Trust me, I should have been in London crying my heart out and fucking a stranger with a thing for pregnant women instead of bailing Tommy out and keeping you from making my decision to save myself obsolete.”

“Then why save me? You could have been happy with him; you are giving him a child.” The redhead ---still wallowing in her despair and guilt--- demands to know why Eva didn’t seize her chance at happiness. “He said you told him you’d have four children and live in the country.”

“And if I had let you die, I would still be second place even if you were a ghost tormenting him. No life is worth living with a man who doesn’t love you the way you need him to anyways.” The dark-haired woman answered bluntly as they sat down a little further away from what would have been a crime scene.

“I can’t stay here. Not when everyone blames me for it.” By everyone she does mean everyone.

The Shelbys had taken Polly’s side and everyone else correctly guessed Tommy having a lover is what destroyed the fairytale romance.

It was a terrible place to be, Eva had barely considered how cruel they’d be to Lily, only focused on leaving a man who placed Lily and her needs over hers time and time again. Why Tommy couldn’t just marry her and avoid this mess was beyond Eva’s comprehension.

Marriage is safety when you do not love in the conventional way.

“Have you finally given my suggestions to find your mother and your aunt some thought?” she asked the Red Demon who had been reluctant on accepting Eva’s offer to help her find her family because neither she nor Tommy appeared to be capable or surviving without the other.

They could, they are just too pessimistic and they refuse to give it a real, honest try. Eva had been there once, and now seeks to pull them out of the dark waters even if they like it there.

“Yes, maybe if I had said yes when you offered the first time we wouldn’t be in this mess.” And because Lily wants to see if Tommy would be happy without her here. Not by being the ghost haunting him, but as the lover who left him. “You should’ve told me we were making you feel unloved.”

“I know, but I feared losing him, and while I do get on with you, I do not like you that way. We are just too different.” Part of Eva still wants the life she saw with Tommy that morning in Brighton. Is it wrong for her to desire her own happiness after life took everything from her? Why was she losing her one thread to life again? Why couldn't someone else be the one to sacrifice their happiness for her instead of her doing it every single time?

Perhaps with her unlikely rival out of the way, they can see if that vision can still be true.

“I had guessed as much. I am not as ignorant as Polly makes me look.” Her ex lover nodded in agreement, and both said their goodbyes before parting ways.

The last person seen with Lily was Eva. A gunshot was heard and only Eva came back.

There was no body nor signs of a struggle, but he knows what the witch is capable of. She had one demand when he refused to sign the papers in London.

Me or Her.

And when he refused to choose her then and there, he left to drown out his sorrows and make his choice.

He loved both women. He loved Eva fiercely, loved her fire, her strength and her ambition to take back everything she had lost.

But he loved Lily more. He couldn’t just leave her like this. It would kill her. He knew Eva was right, the witch had never been wrong even that rainy day they met.

“We will have everything we have ever wanted, mi amor.” She had proclaimed that morning after their wedding.

Four children, a baronetcy, a career in politics. They would be as happy and as in love as they were that morning.

He had been a fool to assume she saw Lily in it.

And because he was going to choose Lily over her, Eva killed her.

She was just as damaged as them. Lost everything she ever had, and now that she stood to lose the chance to have it all again with him, the witch took it.

What Lily was capable off wasn’t close to what Eva could do. Eva had the advantage of money and magic...and training in espionage and murder by a woman named Frida Solomons.

“You killed her!” he cannot contain himself when he finds her still packing up what she owned in Ada’s old room. She had moved there when it became clear he would sleep with both women.

Eva is shocked from his words angry in ways he had never seen. The words had hurt her like a blow to the stomach and woke the beast underneath the soft warm skin

“Oh, yes, because I would be so fucking sloppy as to have the murder weapon in my hands and be so obvious!” The witch mocks him and denies it. "If I had killed her, you would have never found out about it."

He should’ve known she wanted him to choose her.

He couldn’t choose so she choose for him.

“You killed Lily!” he shouts again as he comes to shake her and demand to know why she did this to her.

Eva slaps him hard enough to leave the mark of the wedding and engagement ring still on her finger.

“I didn’t fucking kill her! Why would I go through all the trouble of divorcing you if I intended to kill her?” the witch shouts back when even her hand on his cheek is not enough to break him out of that thought.

“Then where is she? Why were you the only one to come back here?” He knows deep down she didn’t and yet he cannot stop his mind from finding a reason to believe she did.

“She needed time away from here, to get away from a place that hates her. Just as I am doing.” We need to be away from you.

“Then why didn’t she tell me?” he asks the woman who he knows won’t ever forgive him.

“You wouldn’t have let her go, just as you are not man enough to let me go.” She hates as strongly as she loves, and now Tommy knows what the Witch’s anger feels like. “Just as you are so fucking full of it that you fucking came here and accused me of killing your precious Lily.

Me, the mother of your child, the wife you promised to love and cherish before God and Men; and you couldn’t even love me enough to give me the presumption of innocence.” Her anger turns to hot tears as she lets him have it. “I should’ve left England when I had the chance.”

Tommy has only seen Eva cry three times in his life. The day he taught her to shoot, the day she left him and the day he killed her love for him. She said she had lost the ability to cry all together when the last of her family died and yet he had been the only person to get her tears flowing again.

“I'm sorry, I don’t know what came over me. I know you would never do that.” Even when he means it, even when he tries to show her how truly sorry he is for the way he acted, for the fucking way he doubted her like this, his wife flinches away form him.

Moves away from him as if his touch physically hurt her. And it had, Eva felt things deeply, the same passion with which she loved was the same as the one she hated and grieved with.

“If it had been me who disappeared, you wouldn’t have accused Lily of killing me.” She won’t ever forgive him, there is no love for him in her eyes only hatred he created and he will have to live with that for the rest of his days. “You do not love me like you love her, now I wonder if you ever loved me at all.”

But he does love her, and that is what makes it all worse. He’s lost her even when that is the last thing he wanted to do.

“Evie, please---” Tommy chases after her, refusing to accept the defeat he crafted with his own bloody hands.

“I will never set foot here unless you are dead.” The witch refuses to look at him as she too walks out of his life and leaves him standing on the wreckage of their love.

She was right when she called him a fucking fool when it comes to love. Always right when it comes to him and not once has she ever lied to him.

Which is why he will set this right, even if it means following her to London.

story continues in Perhaps

[aishangotome]

Alfons Sylvatica: Chapter 4 Premium Story

Chapter 4

♡———♡

After the play, Alfons walked me back to my room.

--But on the way back, I was struck by a strange feeling.

(What is it? This sense of discomfort...)

I felt like I didn't take the usual route back, even though I was returning from a theater I'd been to many times before.

(And I can't remember going to the theater with Alfons and Ellis tonight...)

The discomfort gradually grew, and by the time I returned to my room, it was too big to ignore--

Kate: Um... Alfons?

Alfons: What is it?

(It's strange to ask this... but)

Kate: ...Was what I saw really a play?

(Ah... that)

The moment I asked the question, something snapped in my head, and I came to my senses.

Kate: It wasn't, was it? That wasn't... fake blood.

(That's why I was scared.)

(That's why I was so anxious and wanted it to end quickly.)

(It's because that was--)

Alfons: Have you already woken up?

Alfons: You have a surprisingly strong sense of self.

When I looked up, his eyes were narrowed as if he was exasperated.

Kate: That was reality.

My own voice echoed heavily in my ears.

(People were really being killed, and a real knife was trying to kill Alfons.)

Kate: And I...

I was watching it as a play.

(--Simply, peacefully.)

That fact was more shocking than anything else, and I was speechless.

(It's true, I couldn't bear to watch it.)

(I was scared and wanted to escape from that terror.)

It might have been better than panicking and doing something stupid.

(But...)

(I--that scene...)

I couldn't believe that I had been watching it so casually, so I closed my eyes tightly and covered my ears.

Then, warm hands embraced me.

As if scooping me up from the dark, cold bottom of the water.

Alfons: It's not your fault. It's all my fault. Isn't it?

Kate: But it's true that I watched that scene without thinking...

Alfons: A normal person wouldn't be able to handle that kind of scene unless it was fiction.

Alfons: On the contrary, I thought you might enjoy it if it was fiction...

Kate: ...

I remembered myself believing it was a play.

(I was so impressed that I even applauded. Even though people were dying right in front of me...)

(I have no right to say anything about him.)

As I hung my head, a voice tinged with pity fell.

Alfons: You really do insist on facing reality, don't you?

Kate: ...Because if I don't look closely...

Alfons: Because it's your duty as a Fairytale Keeper?

Alfons: Screw that job you were forced into by a freak accident, right?

(Because it's my duty... Of course, that's part of it.)

(If I don't do my job, I might be killed. But--)

Kate: That's not all... If I don't face reality, I won't be able to notice important things, right?

Alfons: For example?

Kate: Like why such horrible things are happening...

Alfons: You won't figure that out even if you carefully observe the scene.

Kate: Or if there's anyone still alive... who can be saved...!

Alfons: Haha, rescue in that situation? You'll just get caught in the crossfire and die.

Kate: But... even if Alfons or Ellis were stabbed, I...

Kate: I might not have gone to help them, thinking it was a play...!

Alfons: .........

Kate: That's scary...!

My vision blurred with the surge of emotions.

I didn't know if it was from the fear of that scene, or the fear of being the only one protected in the illusion.

Alfons: .........

Alfons looked at me in silence for a moment, then gently stroked my hair.

Just like a real lover would.

Alfons: Even though you're so soft and vulnerable... you try to face reality without running away.

Alfons: ...You're a fool.

Alfons: When I see such a foolish person, I can't help but want to spoil them.

His fingertips slid smoothly down the nape of my neck.

(Ah,)

By the time I thought, "No, wait..." – it was already too late.

Alfons: So – let's play together again tonight, "my sweet lover."

A light, pleasant floating sensation washes over me.

With just a gentle push, my body leans into his arms.

(This feeling, from somewhere...)

As I think this, his voice drowns out my thoughts.

Alfons: It's alright now. See... I'm alive, aren't I?

Kate: Nnn..., Hm... Alfons...

Alfons: ...You don't have to look so greedy.

Alfons: Ending on a child's kiss right now wouldn't be right... open up.

Poking my lips with his fingertips, Alfons whispers to me.

Alfons: Come on... don't be shy.

Kate: Nnn, ah...

I open my lips as instructed, and his wet tongue slips in.

Kate: Yes... ah, ah...

Alfons: Hmm... hehe, kissing feels good, doesn't it?

Deeply intertwining our tongues, I feel my mind melting into a blissful state.

(No... something)

(I feel like I'm forgetting something important...)

(It feels good...)

Before I knew it, my body was at the mercy of his familiar tongue, and I was sinking into the bed. My rational mind had been consumed without a trace and I could think of nothing else but making love with the lover in front of me.

Kate: Ah, Alfons... I... my body is hot.

Alfons: ...Where on your body?

Kate: ...You know, so don't ask.

Alfons: No... Please tell me properly.

Alfons: Where do you want me to please you, that pretty mouth of yours?

Kate: Ah...!

The ribbon behind my neck is untied and my loose blouse falls off.

When I tried to hide the bare skin spilling out from under it, my hands were sewn into the sheets.

Alfons: Why are you hiding it? Show me your body.

Alfons: Here... is where you want to be tortured?

Kate: ...!

Kate: ....All....of it...

I was so embarrassed that I turned my head to the side.

Alfons: All of it...?

I hear a sneer and a light kiss falls on my burning cheek.

Alfons: --greedy.

Kate: Ah...!

Alfon's face moved closer to my chest as he sucked the colored tip into his mouth.

Kate: !...Oh, oh... nn---!

The tip of his tongue played with it again and again, lighting a fire inside my body, and a numbing sensation spread from the tip of my breast to the bottom of my stomach, making me rub my knees tightly together.

Alfons: Mmm.. do you want this too?

His fingers trace the inside of my thighs, slowly approaching the space between my legs.

Kate: Alfons...ah....oh my god!

His fingers push aside my underwear, teasingly caressing the dripping wet spot several times, then slowly entering, making a squelching sound.

Kate: Ah....ah.....ahh....!

Alfons: ....You're so wet. Can you hear it?

Kate: Oh my god, oh...

Alfons: Have you always wanted me to touch you?

As if in affirmation, the spot where his finger was sunk twitched sweetly.

Alfons: You don't have to squeeze so hard, I'll make you feel good.

Kate: Ahh---!

His fingers move more vigorously.

As he rakes my insides, the pit of my stomach stirs and clamps down hard on his finger.

My weak spot had already been discovered on the first night, and his fingers, well used to playing, knew how to make me go crazy.

Kate: Ah, ah....Alfons...!

Alfons: Hehe, are my fingers not enough for you anymore?

Kate: ....!

Even though we're lovers, I'm too embarrassed to accept it because I think it's indecent, and Alfons laughs again as if he can't stop himself because it's funny.

Alfons: Come on, tell me. Are you okay with this? Even if I keep teasing you with my fingers like this?

Alfons: If I tease you here, you'll probably come right away.

Kate: Ah, ah, ah, wait...

Kate: ...Not with fingers...

She couldn't say anything more.

Alfons: ...You are truly a lovely person.

He pulls out his fingers, which had been stirring violently inside of me, making my hips jump in response.

I was breathing heavily as I heard the sound of clothes rustling.

When I looked up, Alfons was about to take off his tie.

Just that gesture made my stomach churn with anticipation.

Alfons: .....

After undoing his belt, Alfons looked down at me and smiled gently, as if gazing at a kitten.

Alfons: Let's get so messed up that we forget everything...

His desire caressed my lower abdomen, sinking in deeper than where his fingers touched.

Kate: Nnn, ah, ah...Alfons....!

He pounded me with intensity, and a sweet cry escaped my lips, echoing through the room.

I cling to his back, my whole body trembling with the pleasure that hits me again and again.

(Being held like this, our skin touching, sharing warmth deep within our bodies...)

Everything feels so good, I can't think of anything else.

(Right now, I want to stay like this...)

I want to drown in his arms, in his warmth.

Because the arms that hold me are so gentle.

Because the look in his eyes, full of pity and compassion, feels strangely comforting––.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Chapter 5

If you’d like to support my translations, feel free to buy me a coffee here! :)

[rinriya]

BG3 ending (spoilers)

I finished BG3. And I.. I'm so devastated right now. Not in terms of relief or "oh, such a good game has come to an end, idk what to do next", I just don't understand what happened. I am disappointed. I need to speak out. Otherwise I feel like I can burst into tears because of indignation.

And I beg DON'T READ THE POST FURTHER if you haven't reached the end. There will be plenty spoilers. DON'T READ IF YOU HAVEN'T FINISHED THE GAME.

So. Is this really the end? Is this… what we've been so actively waiting for 3 years? Maybe there will be DLCs no less than another full-fledged act? Otherwise, I cannot understand what was the point MC to do all of this?

I.. damn, this is hard. I waited so long for this game, but now I criticize it. Okay, phew. I'll get myself under control. Phew. Sorry.

We were promised different outcomes, different endings, many choices. But what did we actually get? You either save Orpheus (the Emperor becomes an enemy), or help the Emperor (Orpheus dies), or you/your companion turns into an illithid. And like.. who cares if you continued to refuse the powers. It's unavoidable in any case. You cannot form an alliance, you cannot win without a tadpole. You are linear in your final choice.

Your companions?

Wyll leaves to Avernus. Karlach returns to Avernus. Astarion can no longer stay in the sun, he begins to burn and therefore runs away. That moment… it broke my heart. My MC romanced him, couldn't he followed Star? Was it not possible to add some extra scenes? It doesn't matter to anyone. He ran away? Well meh who cares. Only Shadowheart says something like "oh, how sad, he can no longer walk in the sun."

I wanted to help him damn it! Both him and Karlach. And Lae'zel too, but game not allowed me to do so, forcing to choose: either the giths fate, or your ally. Choose.

I wanted my friends to live happily even without tadpoles! Why the hell I was saving the world, if my companions can't be happy? For the sake of a good ending, I should have let Stari to perform the terrible dark ritual? Or turn Karlach into a squid? Minsc and Jaheira are just fanservice for old fans. More or less good end has Gale (still with bomb inside him), Shadowheart and the Emperor himself.

And what about all my decisions? Where are their consequences? What happened to the vampire spawns? With a grove? With the forest? With Hell, where we killed a mighty devil?! With the Ironhand clan, who now have a new leader? Larian Studios, was it really so hard to write at least in text about everything that happened? Like in DOS2 at least? Or about our companions future life. At least about them!

It feels like even if I decided to play as pure evil.. there would be no difference, because I just don't know what my actions led to. But I can't play evil, I just can't hurt anyone. Yes, I'm boring person who loves happy endings and when everyone doing great.

BG3 received its fame, glory, attention. Obviously will receive a bunch of awards, because its ratings beat all records, but inside me.. there is just emptiness. I can headcanon a happy ending with Astarion, truly free Lae'zel, who will be no longer chased by Vlaakith's servants and Karlach with repaired heart. But it will all be in my head. Not in the game. Baldur's Gate 3.. is like a beautiful (really beautiful) wrapper, but the candy inside turned out to be simple and not very different from the others.

I'm sad. Very sad. And I'm sorry for this flow of words. I had to speak out. Now I feel a bit better. I really want to hear your opinion, because now I'm mentally hurt. I obviously triggered the high expectations for this game and get a painful kick for that.

[my-castles-crumbling]

Anon Advice Asks - May 3rd

clandestine anon (new), phone anon (new), chesh anon, guess anon, ouroboros anon

clandestine anon

Hi Cas! I’d say I’m new here but really I’ve been borderline obsessed (in a good way) with your blog for about 6 months. But I’ve never asked anything yet… I’ve read your boundaries for asks and am pretty sure this follows them so I hope this doesn’t make you uncomfortable, but I really don’t have anyone to talk to about this and you seem really nice. Anyway, I’m under 18 and live with homophobic/transphobic parents. I’m a BOY and I’ve known that for a few months now (internalized transphobia kind of held that back a bit, though). But no way can I tell my parents. They only allow my hair to be shoulder length or longer and will teach me how to be a ‘good wife and mother’ but the thought of being a wife or mother makes me sick. They sometimes make me (and I mean literally force me to) wear dresses. I’ve gotten away with wearing some boys t-shirts but that’s mostly because they’re more ‘modest’ I guess. I’m not physically abused in any way but I’m coming to realize I’m being emotionally abused about every day.  I know it sounds kind of stupid but the fic Clandestine that you wrote helped me a lot. Wow this got a little long (sorry) but really I was just wondering for any advice or something. I live in a very transphobic city so I don’t have pretty much anyone. I don’t mean to stress you out or make you uncomfortable but I just needed to get this out, preferably anonymous.

Hi <3

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this and I wish I could do something more to help, but I hope you know that you deserve to be accepted as you are and I am here to vent to anytime. I hope as you grow older, you're able to find people who love you for you, and places you feel comfortable in. I promise that as you that not everyone out there will be like your parents

Sending so much love, and please let me know if there's anything I can do! <3

___

phone anon

Hi cas

So I hope I don't sound super privileged now but yesterday my phone broke. I am pretty mad about it because I only had it 2 years but the worst thing that I didn't save one of my favorite games and now I need to begin over.

and I had such a good alliance, I did write the leader before my phone broke how someone out of our alliance kicked me from something and now it seems as if I just leave so I wouldn't be caught liying🥲

I tried to find the alliance but I don't know on which server I was😭

Sorry for venting but I am just so frustrated with myself.

Thank you for reading

Hi!

No, I'd be frustrated too! That's a social outlet for you, and it's hard that you have no way to fix it. Accepting that lack of control isn't easy, and it's natural that you'd be upset and angry.

Plus from a logistics pov, it's SUCH a pain in the ass to replace a phone and set up a new one.

___

chesh anon

Hey, chesh again, sorry, i just felt like i was falling apart and there was no one i could talk to.

I don't know what to do. I'm losing someone, and i'm scared they don't care, im afraid ive fucked it all up. I just feel so lonely, all the time, i never say a word and i feel like no one wants to talk to me. Because im never the person ppl want, and that's not on them, but gods it hurts, everything hurts. If i talk i hurt ppl, and maybe they're better off without me. I've just never felt this lonely. i don't even want to go into school, it's not anyones fault but mine. My mom says my expectations are far too high. I don't know i don't know. I feel like i gave my all for so little in return. And maybe i'm the problem i seem to be in everyone else's head but my own, i know i feel things more deeply. I just want them to text me. I just want them to hug me. I just want to talk to them without feeling like i'm doing everything wrong. Like i'm never the person they want to be with. I wish i didn't have the word "paranoid" going round my head, telling me i cant talk to anyone because thats what i am, paranoid maybe its all my head. I think im the problem. I don't know what to do, maybe ive ruined it all. Because they haven't brung it up, so maybe theres nothing wrong i just feel isolated and alone and i just want to be fixed. I just want to be good enough that ppl will be there for me. But im all messed up like the pieces of a jigsaw that never fit together

And (redacted), how do you tell someone that after all that work its going back like a landslide?

Thank you,

Chesh x

Hi <3 as far as the first part of your ask, I don't think it's unfair to want to be someone's first choice. It's unbelievably lonely to feel like nobody prioritizes you, especially since like...you can't force that. But I think you ARE allowed to ask for reassurance. You're allowed to ask people to remind you they care. If they get mad, then they're not very good friends! You deserve reminders that you are loved, because you ARE.

And the second part...you tell someone you need help, because it's a very brave thing to do, and anyone who really cares will be SO proud of you for doing that. Its not bad or weak to need help. It's not bad, or a loss. Asking for help is a WIN, because you're working hard to stay healthy, and recognize what you need <3 And the people who are proud of you for doing that are the people who you should stick to.

___

guess anon

HI CAS!! it's guess anon - not sure if u remember me cause i havent said anything in a while

Today i had my trial shift for a job at a cafe - its the first place that actually gqbe me an interview. Theu told me they arent quite sure that i wss suited for the original role bht invuted me for front of house trial. And it went SO WELL!! I should hopefully hear back by Tuesday.

Also, i wrote a song last week! Hahah there is so many uodqtes, we'd be here all week if i were to type them out.

Hi! That's so exciting about the front of house job! You have to keep me updated, I want to know if you get it! And I'm so jealous you can write songs, I tried once but I'm horrible at it. I'm glad things are going well for you!

___

ouroboros anon

DM me

[blubushie]

Extremist veganism is the definition of missing the forest for the trees. They correctly assesed that factory farming is the problem but then they got lost along the way and idiotically lumped in every single farmer/livestock keeper to be on the same level as factory farms. Farmers who take care of their animals know what they're doing. Their animals are well fed, taken care of and have never been scared or mistreated in their life. Reaping their benefits and making sure they have a good life under your care are two things that are totally doable.

Yeah that's where like. The cult mentality of extremist veganism/ARAs comes in. I absolutely agree that factory farming is fucked up. I buy my eggs locally and source meat locally when I can (or hunt it myself) save for beef (since American and Australian beef is practically all range cattle). Chicken I get from the neighbour I get eggs from. The only thing I can't really source is milk, since the nearest dairy farmer with milk that won't make me sick (A2 milk) is almost a 40min drive away.

You can be staunchly against the inhumanity of factory farming and the abuse it's festered in without becoming eugenecist/classist/racist. Hell, the best way to combat factory farming is to NOT PURCHASE FROM FACTORY FARMS and make it known that you choose local and are willing to pay the extra cost BECAUSE local farms are ethical and humane. THAT creates a financial incentive for factory farms to change how they operate and make changes towards better conditions for their stock.

Going off animal products entirely doesn't do jack shit because you're not buying from anyone, so it's not like they're losing your money. Your money isn't an option to start with. What they want is you to give THEM money instead of giving it to their competitor. The only time they have no incentive to do better is when you either aren't giving anyone your money (so you're not even a customer they have to worry about cuz nothing they do will convince you to give them money) or when they have no competitors to compete against (which is what we're looking at now, with large companies buying up family ranches so that the company can become an economic and culinary monopoly).

Protect tradition*. Fuck capitalism. Buy local.

*This is also goes for companies buying out wild land to graze livestock on as they continually expand larger and larger in their quest for monopolisation—including Indigenous land where they pay them shitty sums for the use of the land, often far below what the land is actually worth not just in quality but also sentimentality. We're in a world where Indigenous people are being forced to sell out the ground from under their feet and their own culture and custom with it just to afford to survive in this capitalistic hellscape. Fight that by starving big corps and buying local. If you're in an area where Indigenous (and POC!) people do a large amount of the agricultural work (California, Arizona, New Mexico, Texas, anywhere in the Red Centre, Top End, or FNQ Australia) then PLEASE look for local Indigenous producers to purchase from. You'll do a lot to help them in their fight.

[artnamjooning]

Using Pomodoro Technique With ADHD

I've seen a lot of people with ADHD debating whether Pomodoro timers are helpful to them when studying. They're indispensable to me and the way I study with primarily inattentive type, so I thought I'd share a few ways I've tweaked it to work for me! ✧˖°――♡――✧˖°✧˖°――♡――✧˖°✧˖°――♡――✧˖°

1. Use a physical timer (and maybe a visual one)

I find my brain takes it more seriously if I use a separate timer, and it also is very handy for breaks! I have a digital timer I use, but recently I got a visual timer and think it's even more helpful. Let's face it. We're time blind. Being able to really see the time left helps an embarrassing amount. If a physical timer isn't an option for you, try something like Study With Cats, which has a timer in their videos. Plus, lofi! Which leads us to...

2. Lofi/Classical/Film soundtracks will save you

Need to turn off all the thoughts telling you to do other stuff? Music helps with that. I had an old therapist who specialized in ADHD tell me that it takes more inputs to focus an ADHD brain. You can "plug in" your studying, and if that's not enough, "plug in" some chill music. I was skeptical and used to study in complete silence, but now I need music. Music without vocals is best if you find yourself paying attention to lyrics. If music is a little too much, rain sounds can be great.

3. Take longer breaks (animedoro)

For me, 5-10 minutes is enough to use the bathroom and grab either a snack or an instant coffee. It feels rushed, and I find myself tired by the time my long break starts. Last semester I took ten minute breaks religiously using 50/10, but now I'm experimenting with 60/20 and finding my energy levels renewed. I like having time to watch a study vlog or an episode of Run BTS!. This is popularized as animedoro: work for 40-60 minutes, then watch an episode of anime for 20 minutes. This builds a real reward into studying! Yay!

4. You may need to adjust focus time along with your meds

Anyone who's been on stimulants (or anyone with ADHD lol) can tell you they can be fickle. Their effectiveness and length of focused time can vary depending on factors like diet and sleep. If you find your meds aren't working as great, or they're wearing off faster than usual, don't push through or you're in for a big burnout. Adjust your focus times instead. If you were doing 50/20 pomodoro and now 50 minutes of concentration feels like pure torture, just bring it down to 30, 25, or 20 minutes. You'll be so much better off with 20 minutes of concentrated study than 50 minutes of, "why can't I focus? Why can't I just be like everyone else? Oh god I haven't been watching this video."

5. If it's not working, don't force it.

Listen, this works for me--I desperately need that structure or I'll get lost in a bunch of stuff that doesn't matter (hi Wikipedia). If it's not working for you, and you prefer to hyperfocus for three hours at a time and then take a nap for an hour, do that! Don't try to force study techniques that don't work for you just because they work for others. Our brains work differently and that's okay.

[expresso-bean]

The Man Out of Time [A ShadAmy and Silver Story]: Chapter 6

Pairing: Shadow the Hedgehog x Amy Rose

Description: It has been seven years of peace following the grueling war with Eggman and his army. Though it took time to rebuild what they have lost, life for the Freedom Fighters could not be better. Whether it's finding love or trying to run from their past, celebrating post-war times has been different for each of them.

All is well until a silver hedgehog comes knocking on Amy Rose's door to deliver the tragic news about an incredible force that seems to be the cause of the future's destruction.

Will anyone believe the mysterious hedgehog's cry for help? Or will he be left to fight for his future alone? Read to find out!

Warnings: None

Word Count: 1.6k

POV: Silver the Hedgehog

!! I do not own any of the art/gifs/borders used in my chapters. All credits to the rightful owners !!

Masterlist ❀ Ch.1 ❀ Ch.2 ❀ Ch.3 ❀ Ch.4 ❀ Ch.5

With every second I stay in this timeline, the more I want every aspect of my life to remain this way. At least in this timeline, everyone seems happy, and all the people I lost in the past are living their best life here.

We were back at Amy's house after the whole episode with Shadow. It was a very intense and horrific situation, especially for me. Not only was it hard for me to watch someone else go through pain, it was even worse to be able to feel what that person was feeling. I can practically sense my power inside me grow stronger with the passing of the days. Recently, I've been able to see glimpses of the things people are feeling and thinking inside their minds. That's how I was able to track down Shadow in the first place. He was hurting so much, remembering parts of the past must have been arduous for him to even comprehend. This ability I had allowed me to feel one's feelings as my own, but I couldn't last more than six or seven seconds in Shadow's head without feeling weak. I wish I could console him in a way, but I knew with his enormous ego in the way he would never let anyone comfort him. Well, anyone but Amy. He had a soft spot for her. From what I was able to gather, he'd known her for years, and when he betrayed his 'Master' or something, he was able to find a unique friendship with her. Although I didn't know why. When I talked to Amy about him, she would stumble her words, not even able to say his name without stuttering. I don't understand if both of them have this love for each other why they don't just get together already!

I sighed to myself, all this thinking about relationships that are not even mine was giving me a headache. 

'Grown-ups are so complicated!' I almost whispered to myself. I was currently on Amy's couch, cuddled up in fluffy peach blankets with rose and cherry patterns on it. 'What is it with this timeline and fruit?'

As I laid there trying to get sleep, I heard soft footsteps in my direction. Before they can get any closer, I jolted up to see who it was. To my surprise, it was Amy. 

"Did I wake you?" I sighed in relief and gave her a smile. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to! I came down to check if you were okay. Shadow just fell asleep a little while ago, and well, I was worried about how you were holding up here." I could feel the feeling of love and anxiety inside her. Something terrible was defiantly on her mind. I looked at her, motioning with my hand for her to go on. "I know today has been hard. You must be going through so much."

"No, I couldn't sleep anyway. I'm okay, thanks for caring so much." I chuckled to myself because I knew exactly what was on her mind; Well, kind of. My power is still minimal, and I can't yet control it all that well. "What's on your mind?"

"I, well, I have many things on my mind. About the future. Mostly about the part where you said I was the only one who can defeat these people. I know you said I had some hidden power, but I don't feel anything. How are you so sure that I could save the future? How am I supposed to save the lives of millions if I can't even tell the guy that I like that I love him!" 

From her stammering, she let the faithful words 'I love You' escape from her lips. I felt my eyes light up in happiness, yet her facial expression told a different story.

"I knew there was something between you!" I bit back a laugh since what I said wasn't entirely true, but it wasn't a lie either, of course, I knew about the love between them long before I met these two. All that information was in the journal I read. I smiled to myself as she smacked her hands over her face, trying to hide the crimson red blush from spreading among her cheeks. "That's really sweet!"

 "Look, forget that last part!" Her voice was high-pitched like she was trying to be angry but came off as embarrassed instead. "Just answer the other question okay!"

"Unfortunately, I can't tell you the whole truth, most because it could negatively affect the future. But I can tell you more about the people who will come to corrupt this world."

"Who are they?"

"Well, I can only really talk to you about one, because if I'm being honest, we know nothing about the other one."

"What about them?"

"Her name is Ace Wolfrindge. She's from another world where the power of illusion is genetic. The owner of the journal and I had a theory that she was the one pulling the strings, mostly because she can't fight, like at all. I went one on one with her, and her style of combat is trying to fill my head with things that aren't real. But her downfall is that she can only make so many illusions for a small period of time before they crash. The real danger comes from the other one. no one really knows what his real name is, but he's deadly. It was because of him that so many people died, he killed all those innocent people that were just trying to protect others!" 

My determiner grew cold and empty, I had no shame in admitting that I was not too fond of this man's guts, and if I ever got the chance, I wouldn't hesitate to kill him myself. Amy's silence was also worrying me, I tried to see or feel what was on her mind, but I couldn't for some reason. 

"Did he, kill me too?" 

I gritted my teeth, hatred filling my body. 

"Yes, he did kill you," 

It wasn't exactly a lie. If it weren't for their first attack, Amy would have never died from the health complications during her recovery. 

"I know you won't understand this now, but I know that you are the only one who can defeat him, Amy. I feel guilty because I have to be the one telling you this. I practically forced you to put the entire world on your shoulders, and for that, I am sorry. If I could trade places with you, I would, but it's just fate, I guess." I looked up, I saw that Amy had tears in her eyes and falling down her face. I shot up and backed away from her. "Ugh! I'm sorry, I'm bad at words! I didn't mean to make you cry!" 

I turned away from her, trying to hide the immense guilt I had, but to no avail. I then felt arms wrap around my waist at my side. It was from Amy. She lightly cried in at my side, I could do nothing but comfort her. I knew we both needed it at a time like this.

"It's not me I'm crying about. It's you S."

I felt a pain in my heart like it was going to explode. I never really liked the fact that people were hurting over me. That was my job to protect and aid people with their emotions, not the other way around. Yet, this hug eased something in my heart, as if a light had suddenly lit itself in the darkness. As I stood in Amy's embrace, I couldn't help but feel that I was at fault since I could do nothing to console her. I gently wrapped an arm around her shoulder, rubbing them softly to ease her pain.

I remember standing like that for about fifteen minutes, nothing but disheartening silence filling the room. I felt Amy wiggle herself out of my grip, rubbing the tears and wet face with her white gloves. It was then that I really got to notice her facial features; Her green eyes shone like emeralds, even in the coat of darkness. Her light pink hair was in a mess, yet it flowed perfectly on her shoulders. But despite these beautiful features that made up Amy, I saw the harsh flaws that sadness has left her. Her cheeks looked flat and radiated no color in their natural state. The purplish, wrinkly bags under her eyes were sunken deep in her skin, making it looked like she got punched in both eyes. 

'Is she not getting sleep? Why haven't I noticed his before?'

"Amy, I really appreciate this, but maybe you should get some rest. You look extremely tired. Please, we can talk more in the morning. Besides, it's about time we warn your friends about this threat."

"I will, I just need you to answer this one question."

Amy's voice was just under a whisper. It was soft and calming, yet it was filled with wonder and worry. I sighed but nodded at her and made a gesture with my hands for her to proceed.

"You said you knew everyone in the future, right? What are you to us?"

I felt my eyes widen and bulge, and I almost choked on my own spit from the sudden question.

'What am I supposed to tell her? Ugh, I didn't think this through!' 

Amy noticed my sudden nervous behavior, and she raised an eyebrow.

"Are you okay S?"

I flashed a nervous smile at Amy as I put my hand behind my neck, rubbing it slightly.

"Yeah, of course!" I tried to laugh, but nothing came out, I was left open-mouthed like a complete idiot. "Sorry, it just caught me off guard for a second, that's all."

'Ugh, I guess Shadow was right about that part, eh, it's not like I'll ever tell him that!'  

Yet, I knew I was only trying to stall by talking to myself, mostly because I was afraid of answering the question Amy has asked of me.

"Well, Amy, yes, I do have a family. But unfortunately, my mother is dead, and my father is but a shadow of his former self."

[andreal831]

Excluding trying to kill hope/Hayley, what are your thoughts on the whole Klaus and Tyler situation?

I told myself I wasn't going to answer any more asks today but I loved this one too much.

Tyler Lockwood is one of the most over-hated and underrated characters in TVD.

Just focusing on what Klaus did to him and not even his trauma from his parents and friends, Tyler's pain is so overlooked. I think the best way to discuss Tyler and Klaus is just to lay it all out.

Tyler and Klaus' first interaction is when Tyler is forced back to Mystic Falls because Klaus has someone attack his mother. This is their first interaction, Klaus harming Tyler's mother to manipulate him. Klaus could have chosen a different werewolf but targeted Tyler for whatever reason. Klaus then traps him with Caroline on a full moon and he nearly kills Caroline.

Their next interaction is Klaus killing Tyler. He does so with little remorse or concern about whether Tyler will survive the transformation as no one had before. He survives and becomes sired to Klaus, who abuses it and essentially enslaves his hybrids. Everyone likes to get mad at sired Tyler, but he has limited bodily autonomy. This is a major violation that the show glosses over. Klaus uses this to make Tyler harm the people he loves. The MFG seems to have a lot less sympathy for Tyler than anyone else who suffered from sire bonds or even villainous charm. Elena also did bad things under Damon's sire bond, but everyone blamed Damon. Tyler gets the full blame and anger from his friends instead of understanding or helping. Everyone likes to credit Klaus for saving Caroline's life on her birthday, but Klaus ruined her birthday by forcing her boyfriend to nearly kill her. Tyler, who hates Klaus, has to go to him and beg him to save the girl he loves.

Because of the sire bond to Klaus who forced him to harm his friends, specifically Caroline, Tyler recruits Bill Forbes, someone known for torturing supernaturals, to help break his sire bond. He then leaves to break the bond. He subjects himself to hours of torture and pain so that he won't ever have to hurt his family again. He comes back from this pain to find Klaus flirting with his girlfriend. Klaus then possesses Tyler's body without his consent for a matter of time.

Tyler then works with Hayley and the other wolves to free them of Klaus' enslavement. Klaus kills their friend, thanks to the help of the MFG. Not only does Klaus kill his friend, Caroline agrees to go on a date with Klaus in exchange for killing his friend.

Klaus then proceeds to murder all of Tyler's hybrid friends and then his mother, the last family member Tyler had. Klaus once again tries to kill Caroline to control Tyler and makes Tyler beg him to save her life. Klaus forces Tyler to run once again, forcing him from his friends and family. Before he leaves though, he leaves his home to Matt so Caroline will have a safe place to hide from Klaus. Even when Tyler tries to sneak back into town to have one dance with his girlfriend at prom, Klaus shows up to chase him out again.

Tyler then seeks revenge against Klaus.

Given everything, Tyler is completely justified in going after Klaus. Is it a bad plan? Sure. He can't kill Klaus and even if he could, he would die with him. But that's not the point. The point was Klaus cost Tyler everything. He tortured Tyler for months, attempting to steal his girlfriend while doing it. He murdered his mother in cold blood all because Tyler helped free the enslaved hybrids and himself. Klaus was a monster.

We see many characters seek revenge for things much less serious and are supported. Klaus is celebrated for murdering people for no reason. Tyler didn't even only act for himself but for all of the wolves Klaus planned to enslave. Tyler was completely in the right and the show/characters spent too much time trying to make Tyler seem like the bad guy.

I only wish Tyler had lived long enough to know Klaus died. Tyler deserved so much better than the hell Klaus put him through. He didn't get a break for years all because of Klaus' petty jealousies and insecurities.

Tyler was a better man than Klaus any day of the week. Yes, he's done some bad things but the fact that so many terrible men are celebrated and Tyler is constantly attacked is so questionable to me.

Thanks for the ask!

[odinsblog]

[re: this this post and this post]

Let’s keep it 💯: Joe Biden did a terrible fucking job of managing post-COVID healthcare. And before I anger all of the but-he-was-better-than-the-alternative liberals, yeah, sure, he is better than Trump, but that is a laughably low bar. Aim higher, demand fucking better from our elected leaders.

So a while back I agreed that today I would take someone to get their latest COVID shot, but I got a frantic phone call from them saying that they don’t have the money to pay for their shot and they are uninsured and don’t qualify for Obamacare. And I was like, “No dude, you can get your shot for free at CVS or Walgreens or someplace like that,” and just to reassure them, I called CVS (with them on the phone), and unfortunately we learned that CVS is now charging $166 per vaccination shot.

After a little digging, I did find some places that offer free vacations, but they have long ass lines and limited hours of availability that don’t match up with my friend’s work schedule … so I’m gonna bite the bullet and just pay for their shot myself.

I am so mf mad rn.

This is what happens when you elect conservative ass “Democrats” who side with big pharmaceutical companies like Gilead and value cAPitALism over people’s health.

Vaccines should be fucking free. All vaccines. Every fucking one of them. And I mean free to anyone who wants them. Periodt.

And just because I know how annoyingly asinine sycophantic liberals can get if you aren’t constantly and profusely praising whoever the democratic president is, lemme remind you that not only did Biden declare, “The pandemic is over - Back to normal, back to work!” while walking around without a mask at an international car show, but in capitulating to conservatives, Biden also made an unprecedented change to America’s immigration policy by forcing asylum seekers to wait in other countries until we get around to processing their paperwork, and Biden also deported a shit ton of non-European asylum seekers (especially Haitians; see also: Title 42).

And Biden proudly and repeatedly announcing that he is a “proud Zionist” as he allowed funded Israel’s genocide against Palestinians was probably not too helpful for Harris defeating Trump. And now that I think about it, waiting so damn long to step aside for Kamala to run wasn’t very helpful either—she had about 100 days to run a campaign against Trump (and I’m not saying her campaign was perfect, but Biden’s waiting so damn long absolutely hobbled her).

And speaking of waiting too long, Biden constantly waiting to arm Ukraine wasn’t thee most helpful thing either—like damn, what’s the difference between arming them with long range weapons now (when you have only 2 months left in your term), versus arming Ukrainians 2 fucking years ago when it would have made a bigger difference, and would have saved more Ukrainians?? If it’s safe to arm them now, then it was probably safe to arm them at the beginning of Putin’s colonialist war of aggression.

I’m sorry, yes, I voted for him (and Kamala), but Joe Biden was a shitty ass president. I do not want another Republican-lite, cop loving “Democrat” who values chasing conservative white voters more than trying to listen to and at least pretend to placate the Democratic base.

At the end of the day, Joe Biden will have helped move the Democratic Party further right, just as Bill Clinton did in the 90s.

Oh, and remember when Biden promised to waive copyright patents so that other countries could make their own COVID vaccines? He never did that, did he?? But many of y’all insisted on giving him credit just for saying that he would. But he didn’t.

If Biden had any damn nads, and if he wasn’t sO addicted to following all the rules that Republicans have and will continue breaking, he would go buck wild in his last two months and forgive all student debt, pardon people, and just do whatever good he can while he still has the power to do so.

Anyway, I said what tf I said.

If you don’t like it, you know where the block button is.

[starryneitz]

I am going to preface this with me saying that I know that this sounds needy but this is my last resort and a desperate cry for help.

Otakon is right around the corner and it's my only time I get to truly be myself, and I come from a VERY abusive household. My younger brothers are always praised and given money to do whatever they want whenever they want. I, on the other hand, get abused and mistreated all the time because I'm different. Since I am queer and a Democrat I get treated like dogshit. My mom forbade me from going to Ota unless I gave her all of my money I saved up. So I have $0 and am starting from scratch. I make federal minimum wage at 20 hours a week, max. If I didn't lose my job back in March (reason of firing on paper was because of my diagnosis of anxiety and ADHD, and coming from a children's science center that praises itself on its acceptance about mental health, disorders, and LGBTQIA+ communities, just goes to show how shitty it is), I might have gotten away with saving more. But I'm flat broke.

Otakon is my one and only escape in the year to be myself. My mom marks all the criteria for Nazism. She is highly anxious towards me. All of my thoughts, emotions, words, and actions are forced by her. She forces me to be her. I do not know who I am. I never knew who I was. The only time I am allowed to show any personality without fearing being abused it at Ota, and even then I still fear being screamed at or hit.

If anyone is financially stable enough to contribute it would be gladly appreciated BUT ONLY IF YOU ARE ABLE TO CONTRIBUTE TO PALESTINE FIRST! I know I have it bad, but they deserve it more.

Thank you if you read this far. I know some of you might have heard me talk about my family before, and I'm sorry if you read this and see that my situation hasn't gotten any better. I can't escape. I tried many times. It has always failed and she always keeps me from leaving because she takes all my money. She tells me that I never have had any friends and that no one would ever truly like me or stand being around me to even care to look at me. It's hard. It's hard to know you're truly alone. I know I have friends, but with knowing what she has been telling me my entire life, is it true that they're friends? I don't know. I don't know who I am.

If you're able to donate my p@ypal is @/stardoka. As mentioned, please ONLY do so if you can donate to Palestinians first. Thank you so much for your time just to read <3

[everpresence]

if i told myself in 2020 that i have finally gotten over the fear of driving, she would flip.

2020 me was one of the infinite probable versions of me, and she was someone whose fears and doubts always got in the way of doing what she really wants to do. even though she knew the law (and i say this with compassion because anyone can know the law yet forget to apply it. that’s just part of the human experience), she couldn’t bring herself to imagine how it’d feel to be free. she couldn’t because she believed that she was her thoughts and her emotions. she used to have recurring dreams of her being in the front seat and crashing the car because she feared being in control of her own life.

what i have learned from those years is that no one can save you but yourself. okay, that sounds a little pessimistic out of context, so let me clarify what i mean by that. when you mainly depend on your family, your friends, etc., but you’re not also making the commitment to changing your conception of yourself… then your reliance on the outer world for your improvement will be your downfall.

i’m not saying that you should stop relying on people entirely. the reason why they want to help you is because they are sending you the message that they care about you. however, you have to start caring about yourself and the life you want to live first. it’s not about external validation. YOU are the only person you actually need validation from. notice how you react to their desire to help you. are you saying that you’re a “lost cause,” or are you saying “okay, this is my life and i get to change it around for the better?” if you’re saying the former, that’s only an idea you hold about yourself. it’s not an objective fact, it’s not the truth.

the truth is that you actually are free. you are in control of your life, and that is through your beliefs. but those beliefs do NOT define who you are, because who you are is a soul having a human experience. you just have those beliefs, and you can throw out those beliefs that are holding you back from maximizing your infinite potential. step out of that old, limiting story and let yourself be born anew in this moment as the person you want to be. you can start changing yourself RIGHT NOW, and this NOW is the only moment that is ever existing.

i started driving again this year. i stopped driving in 2020 because i somehow convinced myself — through unintentional self-hypnosis — that driving is “scary” and i couldn’t do it because X, Y, and Z. i kept giving myself reasons to be scared of driving, and those reasons do not even apply to everyone’s own experiences with driving. the law is always working, even if you don’t mean to use it.

it was only through my love for the life that i want to live, for my friends and family that have been so unconditionally supportive and loving to me, for the version of me that i kept seeing so vividly in my head, that i started picking it back up. love ended up being the driving force (pun intended) for me to get my shit together, and it made going back into driving an effortless process.

i get to drive my mom around now. i used to always want to show my mom how thankful i am for her being one of the biggest cheerleaders in my life, and for always driving me out to places that are so far away and unfamiliar, but her love for me surpasses her fears of the unknown. (oh boy, i’m crying now LOOOOOL.) and because i have chosen that version of me over and over again, i now get to drive without anything holding me back.

i get to take control of my life again, and i’m so excited to see where this will take me because i now finally understand that it’s about who i am, and i am always changing and growing and expanding.